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[tenaciousgeckos]

One of my favourite things about The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe is that CS Lewis very obviously knew that kids were going to go hunting in cupboards and wardrobes for Narnia because multiple times he very clearly states that the kids did not close the door behind them when they climbed in the wardrobe because that would be stupid and dangerous. He knew some kid would lock themselves in the closet and he obviously didn’t want to be responsible for that.

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Shakespeare: So, in Macbeth, the forest doesn't actually move, it's just an army holding branches

C.S. Lewis & J.R.R. Tolkien: And we took that personally

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Remus 'fuck the rich' Lupin, and Sirius 'yes please' Black

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Kaz, stuck in a cell with Jesper and Wylan: Listen, I'm not claustrophobic, but youre going to have to move

Jesper: What does claustrophobic mean?

Wylan: That he's scared of Santa claus

Kaz: No it-

Jesper: Ho Ho Ho!

Wylan, panicked: Stop it Jesper you're scaring him!

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Kaz: My ducks? In a row. Ordered. Disciplined. Behaving predictably. Your ducks? Scattered. In disarray. Waddling aimlessly. Desperate for a leader to impose structure.

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Jesper: You're telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 70 years, made this salad?

Wylan: technically you're not wrong with that number, but I just hate it

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James: I need advice

Remus: With what?

James: With love. How did you know you were in love with Sirius?

Remus:

Remus: I'm in love with Sirius?

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Jesper: what do you call a fish with no eye?

Wylan: myxine circifrons

Jesper:

Jesper: fsh

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I would love to know at what point Albus Dumbledore decided smart, grey three-piece suits were out, and embellished, jewel-coloured robes with a matching hat were in

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Wylan: I'm pretty sure thats illegal, Kaz

Kaz: Pretty sure I'm a criminal, Wylan

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Wylan: I heard Jesper's in jail, is that true?

Kaz: yeah, for something he didn't do

Inej: what didn't he do?

Kaz: run fast enough

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The other crows: Maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way

Kaz: No, I want my fucking gold

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What I thought the romance might be in the secret history:

What it actually is:

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Inej: you don't want Kaz to die

Inej: and I don't want Kaz to die

Inej: so now we've just gotta make sure Kaz doesn't want Kaz to die

Jesper: fantastic plan, but have you met Kaz

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