timdrakeismypatronus

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Canon vs. Fanon: a Nutshell

Fanon: Dick: You've gone off the deep end, Tim. I can't trust you anymore. I'm going to lock you up in Arkham! Tim: *cries in victimhood*

Canon: Dick: Hey, Tim, you've had a lot of people you love die recently. Do you think, maybe, you should try going to therapy? Tim: *throws Batarang* HOW FUCKING DARE YOU –

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Batfamily Road Trip

Dick: Okay, Tim. It’s your turn to pick the song.

Jason: Just none of that emo shit. We already know you’re mentally ill, Tim. You don’t have to prove it to us. I swear, I listened to less angsty stuff when I was planning to kill you all.

Tim: Fuck you, Jason. Steph, play ‘Helena’ by MCR.

Jason: Steph, you don’t have to listen to this twink.

Steph: Hey, he may be a twink, but he’s my twink.

Tim: I don’t know whether to be offended or turned on by that comment.

Dick: *sighs in Eldest Daughter* This is why I never hang out with you people

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It’s time for another round of BTHB! Feel free to submit requests for any of the prompts. I’ll shout you out if I end up using it!

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New Headcanon: Jason loves to go antiquing

Alfred goes with him, obviously. It's one of their favorite bonding activities. They go almost every Saturday morning.

He has to get his bookcases for his home library from somewhere, and it ain't gonna be from Ikea

He actually finds a lot of birthday/Christmas gifts that way. Once, he found a framed print of a famous painting depicting a Romany caravan. It's been on Dick's living room wall ever since.

"Why yes, Tim, I do keep my ammo organized in an 18th century apothecary cabinet. What of it?"

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Bonus points if you comment which instrument they play

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Tim: If you sneeze, and I say, "God bless you," the ONLY thing you should be saying is "thank you." I don't need to hear all of this, "How did you get in my house? Why is my window broken? I'm calling the police..." Ain't nobody got time for that. Just be polite! Jason: What did you DO

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Day 1 of asking ChatGPT random questions about the Batfam:

There you have folks.

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It's that time of year! I have lots of plans for the suffering of the Batfam, so buckle up and enjoy!

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Jason: yo, Tim, what’s wrong?

Tim: *shirtless and frantically digging through the laundry* I can’t find my top!

Jason: oh, don’t worry! Conner’s downstairs.

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Barbara: that was a pretty nasty hit. How’s your head?

Dick: well, I haven’t had any complaints yet.

Barbara: excuse me??

Dick: Oh…um…I mean, I think I’ll live.

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Dick, at the police station: Hi, I'm here for Jason. Officer: last name? Dick: You must be new here.

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Tim: Oh no, I lost my pen. Steph: You can borrow mine. Tim: Thanks! Jason: *breaks down door* I LOST SOMETHING ONCE

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Tim: Okay sex is nice and all but have you ever rediscovered a fanfic you read ten years ago and thought was lost forever?? Jason: um... no? Tim: *nervous laugh* oh haha me neither

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Tim: I've been feeling a lot of bad vibes lately. Jason: It's called "mental illness", dipshit.

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@badthingshappenbingo fic #5!

Prompt: Kneecapping

Fandom: Batman

Rating: T

TW: None

Summary: "The mercenary had caught him by surprise. One minute Dick had been patrolling, and the next… well, Slade had done what he did best: ruin Dick’s night."

OR Slade is hired to keep Dick "occupied." It, unsurprisingly, ends poorly.

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Kon: Tim is my friend, and if I love him, it’s the way I would love a brother. Jason: Tim is my brother and if he looked at me the way you look at him, I would call the police