valcove - Tumblr blog

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Batfam incorrect quotes, but it's things my friends have said

Jason: "It's been years since I felt guilt." (long pause) "Wait no, it's been about two weeks."

Jason: "Oh, you're going to get the talk." Tim: "oh, sex?" Jason: "...and PLUS."

Bruce: "Or when they're like 'oh, he's so evil' but he hasn't even killed anyone yet-"

Dick: "Keys are knives that open inorganic things!"

Steph: "And we're going to be honest, and lie!"

Dick: "I also believed there were gnomes under my bed that would drag me to hell, but that's irrelevant."

Jason: "Murder is a very serious crime... that I want to commit."

Steph: "Good thing I... hate men."

Jason: "I stabbed that before I even thought about doing science!"

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i’m fucking dying. it’s been brought to ben collins (the rad new owner of the onion’s) attention that Google AI summary is using The Onion headlines, resulting in this:

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Disclaimer these are just a small sampling of some possible writer traits I’ve noticed either in myself or in fics I read. Also consider a rb for sample size !

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To add to this, can you imagine trading cards for the Bats? Like, they start off as a limited time toy in the kids meals at BatBurgers, but because of the popularity of them, they're now commercially sold in Gotham? The Discowing suit card is a rare version of the Nightwing card, every few years the cards get updated with newer pictures, etc.?

Imagine if Tim pulls a Peter Parker and gets paid for taking pictures of the Bats to use on the trading cards? He's the only one the different Bats are willing to be intentionally photographed by, though for whatever reason Red Robin insists on his pictures being done as selfies instead of portrait style-

i love thinking that gotham treats the bats like a sports team in terms of pride (either bc their actual sports teams don't do well or some other reason)

people have banners outside their windows of the bat symbol, schools have a "wear merch of your favorite bat" spirit days, there's graffiti portraits of the different bats and some of them take selfies with the murals of themselves, kids get "the robin haircut" and the name "robin" is higher on gotham name rankings than in other cities, people put bat emojis in their instagram and twitter bios next to "gotham" or their location, there's constant not super serious debates over who the best bats are, everytime a new or "new" bat appears there's a ton of excitement and conspiracies on twitter

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touch-starvation needs to be written with emphasis on the starving part. you are hungry to be touched. so hungry that even the very taste of it makes you nauseous. it has been long since anything has ever touched you, ever fed you - that your body has grown more used to that gnawing emptiness more than anything else. it's better for you to be held, to eat but it makes you sick to try. you know

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At some point in your life, you were taught that being slightly annoying is an unforgivable sin. Maybe it was by your parents or a teacher or a friend or a bully or an older sibling. But someone taught you that being slightly annoying is a crime punishable by death.

You must unlearn this.

You must accept that all people will be annoying at some point or another in their lives, maybe all of their lives, and that this is okay. It is okay for strangers on the bus, it is okay for children in the grocery store, it is okay for people on social media, and it is okay for you.

If you ever want to truly love your fellow humans, if you ever want to truly love yourself, you must have forgiveness for being annoying.

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✨️ Summon the Good Omens Fandom!! ✨️

Good Omens has been longlisted for a National Television Award for Best Comedy! 🎭

David Tennant is also longlisted for the Best Drama Performance award for his role as the Fourteenth Doctor.

Please go here to cast your vote!

[Reblog as much as possible - because if we win, David and Michael will get on stage. Together. And we all deserve that.]

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At this point I've learned more about Shakespeare from fucking Batfam fanfictions than I had learned in school

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This just has me imagining how this would affect his Timothy persona-

As someone who engages with a lot of physical crafts but gets most of their clothes from the thrift store, I constantly roll my eyes when I'm given clothes that are brand new, cause with sweaters, I can look at it and tell it was made either with too light of yarn for the needles, or too big of needles for the yarn, and sure enough, within a few wears, holes will start to form. So with Tim getting more skilled in textile arts, he'd probably barely have to fake annoyance with some of his clothes, insulting the overused and low quality machine stitching on the garment, or "why would they put the seam there on the sleeve, that's literally backwards!"

Out of curiosity, in the Timothy "Trash" Drake AU, where does Tim get the materials for the Cardinal suit? Does he take the money out of his own account and then like, hand make it all, or does he have someone else who does it? It looks really cool in your design of it!!

Thank you so much for the ask!! And honestly I hadn't considered the details much but I think this explination fits the best

Tim makes all of the stuff himself, its meant to look more "homemade" than say Batman or Nightwings very clearly engineered suits. As a result despite how wild some of his tech is, its made with fairly common materials.

This kid was still forced to go through school all over again, so he got super into enginnering and would request random supplies from his parents who could care less as long as he was busy.

SO Tiny Tim had the black Amex flipping through which suppliers would provide the best quality while being easily bribed to keep it off the record.

Or Tiny Tim who managed to hack a government satalite via his new D.S after he got bored of playing Pokemon Emerald

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So, I'm working on an assignment regarding Oedipus, and let me just say: this is a lot more funny if you read the play in a more modern sense- Like yeah, I get the play is a tragedy and whatnot, but there's something so funny about Oedipus asking the crowd for the killer of Laius to step forward, and every time there's just silence. It's like in elementary school when the teacher is like "hey, who did this" and everyone stays absolutely silent.

Or when Oedipus is arguing with Teiresias, and mid-argument, Teiresias is like "hey dude, I know you think I'm insane or whatever, but your parents wouldn't agree" and Oedipus is just like "wait, what do you mean my parents? Do you know who gave birth to me?" and then Teiresias is like "nah, but here's a little riddle lmao, don't you love those?" and Oedipus just gets more annoyed.

And then Creon shows up and is like "so I hear Oedipus is talking shit about me?" and the crowd is like "...yeah... we don't really know why"

And then Creon just like, mocks Oedipus in such a way that I would absolutely do to my siblings:

Oedipus: "so uh... how long ago did Laius..." Creon: "Did Laius what? Finish your sentences dude, come on"

Like, how am I meant to take this seriously when you have Oedipus finding loopholes such as "well, he said robbers plural, and there was only one of me, therefore you can't technically say I did it"-

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So, I'm working on an assignment regarding Oedipus, and let me just say: this is a lot more funny if you read the play in a more modern sense- Like yeah, I get the play is a tragedy and whatnot, but there's something so funny about Oedipus asking the crowd for the killer of Laius to step forward, and every time there's just silence. It's like in elementary school when the teacher is like "hey, who did this" and everyone stays absolutely silent.

Or when Oedipus is arguing with Teiresias, and mid-argument, Teiresias is like "hey dude, I know you think I'm insane or whatever, but your parents wouldn't agree" and Oedipus is just like "wait, what do you mean my parents? Do you know who gave birth to me?" and then Teiresias is like "nah, but here's a little riddle lmao, don't you love those?" and Oedipus just gets more annoyed.

And then Creon shows up and is like "so I hear Oedipus is talking shit about me?" and the crowd is like "...yeah... we don't really know why"

And then Creon just like, mocks Oedipus in such a way that I would absolutely do to my siblings:

Oedipus: "so uh... how long ago did Laius..." Creon: "Did Laius what? Finish your sentences dude, come on"

Like, how am I meant to take this seriously when you have Oedipus finding loopholes such as "well, he said robbers plural, and there was only one of me, therefore you can't technically say I did it"-

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Bird: *whistling*

Dick: *whistling back*

Bird: *whistling harder*

Dick: *copying it*

Bird: *excitedly hopping around and whistling a tune*

Dick: *grinning and copying back*

Bruce: Nightwing, stop that.

Dick: why? We’re just whistling

Bird: *chirping in agreement*

Bruce: *glaring at the bird* such a behavior is a security risk. You’re needed on fourth. *taking off into the night*

Dick: ..??? What was that all about?

Tim: *over comms* Bruce thinks all birds are government spies

Dick: What? That’s dumb!

Tim: …mhmm

Dick: Tim, don’t tell me you believe it too. That’s ridiculous!

Tim:

Tim: ...it has plausible theory!

Dick: ...oh my god Tim.

Bird: *sad chirping noises*

Later

Dick: You know, there's another reason why I know they aren’t government spies.

Tim: and why’s that?

Dick: *holding back his laughter* Because they’re whistleblowers

Tim: ... :0

Tim: oh my god they're whistleblowers

Dick: okay no.

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clarification

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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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Help me prove my family wrong!

I don't know if this post will break containment, but will you like/reblog if you are or know a man who is asexual? All of the people in my life seem convinced that being Ace is a 'girl thing' and that Ace men don't exist!

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They get there and Tim immediately recognizes the contingency plan and is like "So, Jason, did you die at all?" and when Jason says no, Tim is just like "Okay, glad that one should work then" leaving Jason with the realization that Timothy Drake, the person he despises, is the reason he never died at some point-

i just want to ask…will you be writing an au or short where the Batfam travels to another universe and meets the Tim there?

I just find it so funny to think about them (esp Jason) trying to come to terms that Tim “Trash” Drake is their brother in any universe 😭

Thank you for the ask!

I wasn't planning on anything like that- but then again I dont plan half my shit before I write it

So is there a possible future after i finish the main "trash tim" storyline for some oneshot spin offs? Absolutely- but Ill say for now its a hard maybe

But that is honestly a hilarious idea- especially considering Jason rn who basically considers Timothy (in his words) "just above the antichrist himself"

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Have we ever considered that Damian “raised by assassins” Wayne and Tim “professional only child” Drake never hated each other as much as they have both alway thought of each other as brothers but have no experience with Cain instinct and just assumed it was blind, unadulterated, rage?