artsethically

[artsethically]

Yall Nasty Hoes Cook yo chicken in an oven?

Real bitches now you gotta boil your chicken in lukewarm salty water. 🤦‍♀️

[artsethically]

Dwarf and the shelf

Another day, another quest. I stare up at the counter before me, it is 5 foot up at the wall, i, myself being a dwarf am only 3'2.

I sigh.

My coco pops are up there and i am in dire need of some after last nights drinking. However my 6'2 boyfriend lays deep in slumber, and anyways im a whole grown man... well ok maybe not grown in height but in spirit i definitely am. Im a macho man if you will.

I get one of our wooden chairs from the dining room and push it over the the bottom counter. I smirk, time to clime up this bitch. I get up on top of the chair and then smuggly climb onto the bottom counter.

I smile, time to feast on my coco pops, i look up only to realise it is physically impossible for me to reach the top counter that is 5 foot off the ground. As i am only standing below it.

I sigh once again and sit down, crossing my legs deep in thought.

Aha, ive an idea.

I climb down and run and quietly shuffle across my hall, into my sitting room, on top of the mantel piece lays a hammer.

Perfect, i grab it and rush back into the kitchen. I get up on top of the bottom counter and look up at the one above me, i grab me hammer and as i am about to swing it into the top shelf i realise the weight of the hammer is far to heavy and as it rises above my head it pulls me down to the ground.

Shit.

I sit up, i look up onto the shelf and then around the kitchen.

Maybe i should just eat som- AHA!

I see Adams book shelf (ny boyfriend), stacked with millions of books, or as of now they are mt stair case to heaven.

I grab all the books and place one of the chair and then another one under mt feet, carefully, trying not to fall or damage the books.

Before i know it, im staring at the counter attached to our wall.

Heehee my coco pops finally.

I open the shelf, but it ends up knocking me off the books. Causing a loud racket.

Adam comes running towards me, "what happened??" His concerned gaze turns into an angered glare.

"I asked not to use these books as a step ladder theyre very expensive".

I sigh, "i know i know'.

I feel disheartened, i am a tiny man, im a quarter of a man. Worthless, cant even get my own cereal.

"What were you trying to do anyways?'

"Get coco pops from that counter"

"Then why in the name of god do you have a chair against it?"

"Ughhhhhh maybe im the height of a chihuahua and cant reaxh the counter"

Adam stares at me,

"You were trying to get them from here?" He points towards the high counter.

"Yes, you said you put them there"

Adams face squirms in attempt to refrain fron laughter.

"Thats a shelf silly, i put them-" adam moves the chaid and the numerous book to open up the bottom counter, "into this counter, can't believe you thought a shelf was a counter".

He pulls out coco pops. Im a macho man, but i cant be that without my tall side kick, to help me figure out the difference between a shelf and a counter.

[artsethically]

Whats up

Hey little piglets whats pop- shwixjickekzockelxofkeosowkjivid

Oh hahahah sorry i dropped my giant, purple, uncle-shaped, spiked, rubber, pink, vibrating dildo on my screen.

[artsethically]

Haha

Ahahahhahah

God must he looking down at me thinking

Yes... my child.... yes this is exactly where your place is. You have finally found....your...place...after years of me... pushing you towards it.

As I'm having underage sex with my 38year old boyfriend and he's passing me a joint in the back of his Honda civic that his wife bought for him back in 2004 but let him keep after the divorce as she was taking everything and that is the least she could have done.

[artsethically]

Hey Duded

I am so bored,

Thinking what i should get up to,

I'm really craving to do sum illegal things,

Like idk,

Kill a stupid ass hoe

Then snort ketamine off her titties

At my local playground

Gah

Life is so lifeless

With corpse titties and ketamine

:c

I hate living in my dad's basement,

Let me out and experience my desires father 🙄😩

[artsethically]

From your local crack dealer

Hey bro 😤

I am NOT 😞

A Drug Dealer😓👊

I am 🙈

A

Street Pharmacist 🤪🤚

[artsethically]

Awkward

Had to tell my wife i was immortal and she was the first person i let myself fall in love with. After hours of convincing she finally believed me when i stabbed my jugular and all the blood poured out but i was fine. I cried because i said i dont wanna see her die, and she also cried and questioned how i became immortal.

Truth is... i dont know and it sucks.

We talked for hours and i told her about everything i went through and how i was alive for 500+ years. She was shocked. She asked if i was lonely, and i said no as i got to experience years of friendships and relationships but never as close as mine and hers.

Well... never is a bit over exaggerated there was one time.

She asked me about it, but i could not bring myself to tell her. She was obviously annoyed. So i acted fast and changed subject: to how theres more immortals like me. Some younger some older, we all share our wisdoms at annual meetings, she was shocked.

So... here comes the stupid thing i did.

I told her about the "power", that i could make something immortal with me. But, only once.

She was amazed and began talking about how we have to run away or fake her death. She began constructing schemes of how i will make her immortal and how we will make it "natural".

I did not have the heart to tell her however, how i already used up that power... and made my pet hamster immortal.

Mr.Zhnobbiles, my lifelong campanion.

I kissed her goodbye that night as i fled to seek my new adventure.

[artsethically]

Algerbra hacks

Algerbra is just an alphabet going on a one night stand with math, but math be tryna overcomplicate shit.

[artsethically]

Jezuz

We all know about Jesus the saviour, but do we know about Jezuz?

A man who kept his word and fucked every pussy on the isle of jews.

Jezuz is an awesome dude, some say he came out off mary with peace signs sticking up already and a beard ✌👼✌.

Jezuz first birthday he already knew how to treat that 😹😹 .

Jezuz did not only START aids but ended them aswell with his: magicum.

Jezuz also beat up Lucifer and then DROPKICKED his wife- Lucii.

Jezuz also is the one to pass to aux cord to cause he know them tooones, beefhoven and archie andrews? Yes please daddy!!

And 🤙if 🤙 this 🤙 aint 🤙 enuff 🤙 to 🤙 conceive 🤙 you 🤙 that 🤙 Jezuz 🤙 is 🤙 the 🤙shenanugans 🤙

Then

Lemme

Tell

You

Summ

He got an 8inch n he lasts 45mins n cares about you finishing.

He the real

MVP

[artsethically]

Penis

If thy allow thee penis to rule thy life

Thy life not thy life

Thy life is ....

Penis life

- artsethically

[artsethically]

Hey My Dudes

If you are dealing with frustration!

Your best medication,

Is masterbation

And anal penetration.

- Artsethically 2019