clitmasterslit - Tumblr blog

[clitmasterslit]

Had a great convo w this guy from my high school about how he is apparently descendant from the pirate Blackbeard while reconnecting on a kinda date thing. Idk why but it was just really nice to learn such an oddly specific and intimate fact about somebody.

Then he got sad that I didn’t wanna make out in the car and said he would rather not hang out again.

Bummarrrghhh

[clitmasterslit]

glad to see those spreading the truth

[clitmasterslit]

“I’m not like other girls😪”

[clitmasterslit]

THIS IS THE PERFECT CONTEXT FOR THIS, THANK YOU FOR THIS POST THESE RATS ARE FOR YOU❤️❤️🗡️🗡️🐀🐀

WIP- stabbing of Julius Cheeser

i really wonder what Julius Caesar would think of a bunch of neurodivergent rats huddled in a circle chanting ides of march ides of march ides of march and then cheering loudly on the 2067th anniversary of his assassination?

like would he cry?

[clitmasterslit]

The day is almost upon us

[clitmasterslit]

Yeah maybe it shows that I didn’t get called ugly or cringe past junior high but does it show that nearly every person I dated refused me affection if I tried to opt out of sex for any reason at any time?

[clitmasterslit]

The world is so heavy and I feel so weak being in it

[clitmasterslit]

Had a bard in my party that spent an entire session jumping from brothel to brothel. After every one, our DM made them roll one dexterity check and one perception check per every STD and STI known to man. Failed dexterity meant they transmitted the STD/STI, failed perception meant they didn’t know, both was not great for them. The DC went up 1-2 points between brothels. Bard ended up with 2 diagnosed STDs and 3 STIs, plus 2 undiagnosed of both. Needless to say the next session was mostly combat with brothel workers looking for revenge💀

[clitmasterslit]

Me: *spends infinite paychecks on books I know I won’t read*

Me @ myself: No! Bad! No more books! No more books for a thousand year! Bad!

[clitmasterslit]

Thank you broski, solid answer🙏 I’ll forever be reminiscing over those 7 second bits of comedy gold😭🪦

Science side of tumblr: if we bombard TikTok with videos made in musically format, will we revert back to vine in an absurd over correction?

[clitmasterslit]

My friend and I were in a parking lot yesterday and he had a crushed up cookie that he didn’t want so I suggested we throw it at the ground until it popped. It did and he was all “oh no littering🥺” and I said give it five seconds. Five seconds later seagulls are swarming over us and one dives at me, landing by the cookie crumbs as several more follow its lead. They gobbled those crumbs up like they were trying to win a contest and eventually the whole flock of them were chillin with us while we watched. The sky rats save the day❤️‍🔥

[clitmasterslit]

Science side of tumblr: if we bombard TikTok with videos made in musically format, will we revert back to vine in an absurd over correction?

[clitmasterslit]

I hunt takeout for sport

Happy thanksgiving ya wads

[clitmasterslit]

[clitmasterslit]

I had spaghetti-os again. I would say this isn’t a meme but the fact that this is a consistent meal for me feels like a joke ;[

[clitmasterslit]

Zero G? More like go deeper and find out😘

[clitmasterslit]

Boogie Wonderland should be a Christmas song. Change my mind.