illfinishthiseventually

[illfinishthiseventually]

Hey, my neighbour's friend needs some help.

[illfinishthiseventually]

This post is a little out of the ordinary from my usual posts, along with "Peace Within the Dark". Reason being is, I didn't actually write them out by hand, I had typed them up on my phone, and I recently found them while going through my old shit and I personally thought they were well written and worth sharing. I was going to write it out, but it shall stay how it was originally made.

Anyway, a bit of background to this piece. There was a time where I hit rock bottom, I was feeling empty and was looking for something to fill that void. I had a group of friends that brought up the idea of trying religion again (I grew up in church, didn't really get it or believe in it, so I left a long time ago). I had nothing else, and nothing to lose, so I decided give it a shot. Long story short, it did help me get back on my feet. However, things went down, and it didn't work out, but it gave me inspiration and motivation to produce a dope piece of writing lol. So here it is, I call it Broken Chains. Enjoy! Or not, doesnt matter to me.

Broken Chains

Nothing but rain sleet hail & snow.

Bad weather surrounded my soul.

Slipped on my two feet on this trail I go.

On my own I always seem to lose control.

Til I let God and started letting go.

But believe me, the road wasn't easy.

took years for the past to leave me.

Nights with no sleep, pain cut deep and left it's mark.

Years of suffering till he finally reached my heart.

Over two decades, he's been calling me since the start.

I was born into light but raised in the dark.

As my life progressed my soul possessed and pulled apart.

Negativity flooded my thoughts like Noah with no ark.

Fought tooth and nail, bruised and scarred.

I've been burned and charred thinking how screwed we are.

Damn, can it get any lower than this?

A place where happiness doesn't exist, yelling at the sky with raised fists.

My mind spins and twists, as I fall deeper into this abyss.

Till I heard his voice above the peak, and heard him speak,

he rose me back on my feet, like a refugee, I sought refuge inside of me.

I beg and plea, to appeal the plea deal they gave to me.

All the loathing and hate makes it feel too late to save my current state,

But he gave me faith, and wiped the slate, wiped away those stolen plates,

wiped away all my pain. Even sentenced and detained,

He spoke my name, broke the chain, wrapped around my neck, and removed my shame.

All my sins been paid, all the lies, and my demise of death has been delayed.

Through all my trials and tests, the trials and arrests, somehow I'm saved.

Even when I was starved and depraved despite the way I behaved, digging my grave.

Though the deeper I dug,

Looking for love, instead found lust in drugs.

But no matter what I did or who I was,

He blew it away like wind through dust.

Then replaced, with grace and this gift,

of love and strength, no matter how much I lift,

by balance doesn't waiver nor shift.

Unwavering faith that never breaks nor bend,

So I thank you Lord for all the strength,

For the grace you extend, the help to ascend,

Above the flesh of men, that curse and offend,

refuse to repent, arrest and apprehend.

In no mine Patris, et fili, et spritus sancti. Amen.

[illfinishthiseventually]

06/06/25 18:22

Time.

(Side note: Stoned af when I wrote this)

[illfinishthiseventually]

Peace Within the Dark

I sit alone in darkness as peace settles all around me.

As the lights shut off in an instance, sound and movement throughout town mimic in the distance.

Pitch black covers my vision and blinds me from my own hands. The feeling when it lands against my side had me shook.

The darkness has separated my association of feeling from my sight, segregated my left from right, severed the feeling of the floor and ceiling from my height.

Yet I feel peace.

Peace knowing that nothing surrounds me but the familiar face of the unknown, an identity that's grown with me throughout my life.

You see, darkness is a relative of loneliness born of the same family. One embraces you from outside while his counterpart dwells inside damning me.

Yet when they're together, I feel peace.

My mind at ease, body and soul intertwined in harmony, harmoniously rejoicing in silence at the peace from the violence created by the light that shatters my peace of mind, shaking my sanity gnawing and clawing, ripping off a piece of mine.

Odd how light causes happiness in others, peace amongst sisters and brothers, yet does nothing but bother my inner sanctum and cover.

Tears my curtains open and breaks down the shutters, opens my eyes so I can see my peace warp into chaos.

My eyelids flutter as my life flutters away.

With the darkness, I find peace and my life taken by the light of day.

[illfinishthiseventually]

07/24/25 02:57

What typically goes on in my head.

[illfinishthiseventually]

[illfinishthiseventually]

04/22/25 22:05

Internal Conflict.

[illfinishthiseventually]

03/29/25 22:34

Conflicted.

[illfinishthiseventually]

I don't even remember writing this lol

[illfinishthiseventually]

Untitled

[illfinishthiseventually]

2 years ago.

Exact date and time unknown.

[illfinishthiseventually]

07/11/25 19:24

Struggling, Barely Surviving.

[illfinishthiseventually]

not a question but you’ve got pretty handwriting

Eyy thanks! I really appreciate that. I still try to practice and improve it everyday, cause personally I think it can be better lol but that means a lot, I wasnt sure if it was presentable enough. I appreciate you

[illfinishthiseventually]

05/11/25 [N/A]

Two Faded, or Too Faded?

[illfinishthiseventually]

[illfinishthiseventually]

07/06/25 04:23

Anyone ever feel like this?

[illfinishthiseventually]

07/15/25 12:53

Lest We Forget.