kiwiweewee
kiwiweewee
Birdie Nation
352 posts
a fun lil blog of my personal interests
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kiwiweewee · 4 months ago
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Do you think Steph loves all this shticks - riddles, puzzles, clues - but tries not to like them, tells others that she hates them, pretends that she's bad at them?
Tim is working on a case and wonders aloud what a "sea pig" is and Steph blurts out that that's what a guinea pig is called in Russian and German and a dolphin in old dialects of German, before she lets out an embarrassed laugh and mumbles something about hearing it on a podcast.
Damian tries to convince her to do a puzzle with him and she avoids it with various excuses.
Barbara manages to convince her to watch a TV trivia show with her, and Barbara ends up answering every question while Stephanie stays absolutely still and clutches her knees to her chest, jaw clenched.
She skips the crossword puzzle page in the newspaper, trying to pretend it doesn't exist.
She always finds an excuse to avoid things related to Riddler.
She tries to convince herself that she's not like her father, that when she looks at a puzzle she doesn't immediately see how all the pieces fit together and that it doesn't bring her joy, she tries to convince herself that she doesn't remember every random fact she comes across forever, she tries to convince herself that she doesn't like trivia shows, that she doesn't feel exalted when she proves that she knows more than someone else about a certain subject.
Do you think she's trying to prove to herself that she's not like her father at all, but she too much like him like him no matter how hard she tries not to be?
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kiwiweewee · 4 months ago
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Steph: the main reason I don’t want to die in somebody’s arms is because my last words would haunt them for the rest of their life and that’s too much pressure to come up with something good to say
Tim: that’s the main reason?
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kiwiweewee · 4 months ago
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Wally: I hope he plays hot to go Barry: ...We're fighting Music Meister
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kiwiweewee · 5 months ago
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Make you sore?
No no. You misunderstood. I said I was going to make you soar. As in fly. Similar to how a bird would. Specifically a pigeon. I’m going to inject you with pigeon DNA.
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kiwiweewee · 6 months ago
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Reverse clown car where it’s a big ass bus and only a singular little clown comes out
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kiwiweewee · 6 months ago
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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Steph: omg guys, you won’t believe this. Someone in this room is related to an owl.
Dick: *sighs*
Dick: Well, I was hoping to tell you all under better circumstances.
Dick: But I guess there’s no sense in hiding the truth any longer. Stephanie is right, someone here is related to an Owl, and it’s me. My great grandfather, William Cobb, operated as a Talon within the Court of Owls.
Everyone gasps and begins talking over each other, demanding more information from Dick about this reveal.
Steph: you... you were supposed to ask “who”
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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Bruce ends up in the same situation as before, where he needs to briefly handle something and he once again asks Steph to start the meeting. But this time, he tries to ensure that everything will go smoothly and nothing will spiral out of control like it did previously. Bruce: Alright, last time I asked you to start the meeting, you inadvertently doubled HR's workload because the board members' debate escalated, to say the least. Steph: Yeah, I swear that wasn't intentional. Bruce: I know. Look, I have to make a quick phone call so I need you to get the meeting started. Please, do not bring up any moral dilemmas this time. I'll be back to take over in a few minutes. Bruce: *leaves* Steph: ... Board members: ... Steph: So, do you guys think water's wet? And somehow, things end up even worse than last time. Several board members are soaked in water after somebody ripped the five-gallon jug from the water dispenser and splashed people with it to prove their point.
Undoubtedly, a fistfight follows. When Bruce gets back, Steph is positioned between two board members, trying to keep them from attacking each other. Papers are flying, there's water everywhere, and all the interns, aside from Stephanie of course, are hiding under the table. Looking back, Bruce is pretty sure at least a couple of them were crying.
Bruce never asks Steph to lead another meeting for him and accepts that sometimes, the board will just have to wait.
Steph is interning at Wayne Industries. She is tasked with taking notes while sitting in on a meeting that Bruce is supposed to lead. Suddenly, Bruce receives an urgent work-related message.
Bruce: *looks at his phone*
Bruce: goddammit…
Bruce: Stephanie, there’s something I have to attend to. Go ahead and start the meeting, I’ll be back in a minute.
Steph: What? Me? I don’t know how to start a meeting, I’m just supposed to take notes!
Bruce: I don’t have time for this, just do an icebreaker question or something, you’ll be fine.
Steph: An icebreaker? Like what? What do I say?
Bruce: It doesn’t matter, just get them to talk for a bit. I’ll be right back, don’t keep the board members waiting.
Steph: wait-
Bruce: *exits*
Steph: …
Board members: …
Steph: Hi, uh…
Steph: have you guys ever heard of the trolly problem?
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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Bruce returns to CHAOS because the board members are having impassionated debates about the trolly problem and someone has taken over the projector and is using it to visualize their point via whiteboard application. It goes without saying that it takes a while to calm them down.
Eventually, everybody is reined in and the meeting starts. Board member #1: So, my suggestion is that we pull funding from these three branches and reallocate all of that to- Board member #2: Yeah, you would suggest something like that considering you value the life of an individual over the lives of several! And then everyone starts yelling again.
Steph is interning at Wayne Industries. She is tasked with taking notes while sitting in on a meeting that Bruce is supposed to lead. Suddenly, Bruce receives an urgent work-related message.
Bruce: *looks at his phone*
Bruce: goddammit…
Bruce: Stephanie, there’s something I have to attend to. Go ahead and start the meeting, I’ll be back in a minute.
Steph: What? Me? I don’t know how to start a meeting, I’m just supposed to take notes!
Bruce: I don’t have time for this, just do an icebreaker question or something, you’ll be fine.
Steph: An icebreaker? Like what? What do I say?
Bruce: It doesn’t matter, just get them to talk for a bit. I’ll be right back, don’t keep the board members waiting.
Steph: wait-
Bruce: *exits*
Steph: …
Board members: …
Steph: Hi, uh…
Steph: have you guys ever heard of the trolly problem?
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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Steph is interning at Wayne Industries. She is tasked with taking notes while sitting in on a meeting that Bruce is supposed to lead. Suddenly, Bruce receives an urgent work-related message.
Bruce: *looks at his phone*
Bruce: goddammit…
Bruce: Stephanie, there’s something I have to attend to. Go ahead and start the meeting, I’ll be back in a minute.
Steph: What? Me? I don’t know how to start a meeting, I’m just supposed to take notes!
Bruce: I don’t have time for this, just do an icebreaker question or something, you’ll be fine.
Steph: An icebreaker? Like what? What do I say?
Bruce: It doesn’t matter, just get them to talk for a bit. I’ll be right back, don’t keep the board members waiting.
Steph: wait-
Bruce: *exits*
Steph: …
Board members: …
Steph: Hi, uh…
Steph: have you guys ever heard of the trolly problem?
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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During a missing person investigation
Victim’s wife: I don’t know where he got all that money, but he gave me a wad of cash so I went to the hairdresser. Haven’t seen him since.
Robin!Damian: Tt, you mean you paid money to look like that?
Batgirl!Steph: Robin, that’s an inside thought.
At a cookout
Steph, eyeing a plate of hotdogs: Call me a veterinarian the way I’m bout to put these dogs down.
Damian: Inside thought, Brown.
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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Bat Mitzvah
Kate: So instead of a temple, we had my bat mitzvah at fort- Dick: ha, more like bat mitzvah, right? Kate: ...That's what I said. Dick: n, no. Like bat mitzvah. Kate: Bat mitzvah. Dick: No- I mean, yes but it's bat mitzvah Dick: Because you're a bat. Dick: Batwoman. Dick: And you had a bat mitzvah. Dick: So it was your bat mitzvah. Dick: Y'know, since it's Batwoman and bat mitzvah? Dick: So together it's- Kate: ... Dick: Kate? Kate, getting up: I can't believe you said that. Dick: Wait, Kate, I didn't mean- Kate: *walks off* Bruce, who had been listening from the hallway: You're mad that he thought of that before you, huh? Kate: Extremely.
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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Robin!Steph: *swinging her legs as she sits on a desk* Robin!Steph: When the socioeconomic revolution happens and they kill all the billionaires, I'll miss you the most. Batman, not looking up from the computer monitor: I appreciate that.
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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Crimes against Stephanie Brown:
Getting only 24 issues of her run as Batgirl. I wish she had more, after all isn't Cass getting now a new run as Batgirl again?
Not appearing at the boy wonder comic when it was specifically Robins related and instead they put Barbara as Batgirl (like if you wanted a Batgirl use the fucking Batgirl who used to be a Robin).
Not being included at birds of prey with Cass and Babs.
Getting 2 heroes team projects with her included rejected. (In one she was with Supergirl and Damian, denying us that is a hate crime)
Not appearing in Damian's drawing of people who loves him when she is canonically the first big sister figure he had and she helped him be a kid and have fun.
Getting her character denigrated by Tim's bisexual actions like: dumping her without giving her a reason or having a proper talk, ghosting her for months, only talk to her after their friends force him to do it and then without warning or asking her introducing his new boyfriend to her and make her react like a fujoshi 13 years old wattpad writter saying that "the best day ever" Is meeting her ex' new boyfriend in the most cringe way ever.
The time they tried to erase her time as Robin and Batgirl in the new 52 reboot
Only let her be Robin for 2 months and was fired for doing something every Robin has done more than once.
Dying so fast in DCeased when she became Damian's Robin and never coming back even after Taliah said she would use the Lazarus pit on her.
Not having a visual reaction of Selina, Cassandra, Dick and Babs to her being alive.
Jason not mentioning her to rub it on Batman's face when he came back to life for revenge or mentioning her to black mask, what a wasted opportunity!
Never had the realistic representation of the trauma she should have after being tortured by black mask.
Never hanging out properly again with huntress (well I think they were seen together again once but not enough), Supergirl, Black Canary or Green Arrow junior after the reboot.
The fact that in my opinion she never got a proper apology from all the people that wronged her and treated her badly, like a lesser fighter, like she was a bother, like she wasn't made for vigilante life, I think I saw Tim apologizing to her but it felt shallow.
Not showing us Tim visually crying for her death.
Completely ignore how was her very first interaction with Catwoman, in which Selina was extremely kind and sweet with her only to screw it in the second meeting in her run as Batgirl and later in the new 52 reboot making Selina be a jerk to her.
Making Alfred be cold and dry to her in their first interaction, yes he later cries on her death and then he is very happy when she comes back and later he stands up to her against Batman's stupid tests but it doesn't erase the fact that he was mean to her when he met her and I think that was out of character with Alfred.
Her teen pregnancy arc, some people might think this was a way to make her character more tragic and deep but that pregnancy arc didn't bring anything good to her character because it was all about Tim not her and it makes my blood boil. This arc was just a cheap "easy" Way to make Tim and Steph become closer in their relationship by making Tim be there for her and taking care of her even though he wasn't the father and help her and that and I suppose it was also to make more dramatic her death telling Batman that she had a daughter and Batman be all like: "I'll make sure the baby never has to ask for anything" And then Steph dies... Seriously this is the one thing I wish they could erase from canon FOREVER, making Steph go through that just to make her deepen her relationship with Tim only for getting killed off and eventually dumped with everything she already had on her plate was CRIMINAL
Jason not meeting her properly before the stupid new 52 reboot and still not having the trauma and dead Robin talk with her.
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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Remastered version… coming soon
Batfam as tacky cowboy outfits
Was chatting in a DC server and came to the thought: If the Batfam visited Kent Farm, they’d wear the goofiest, tackiest cowboy costumes ever. And so I went out and found them.  Here it is in slideshow form: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1eDwQtuWYQeDK_fR5TbpTObk3Z8U4KPUobzvj6TqZUds/edit?usp=sharing
Bruce
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- I feel like Bruce is only willing to be a little silly - Respectable for the most part - More Patriotic than usual 
Alfred
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- okay so I wasn’t really sure about this one
- I don’t know if he’d dress up
- If he did, I don’t think he’d be silly :(
- Would maybe wear a hat if asked
Barbara
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- Would Barbara go to a remote farm in Kansas? Without internet? Doubtful, but we’re here to have fun
- Admittedly tame but it still has fringe and is fun
- She isn’t going to buy an entire new outfit just for this the bit, so only the gloves, scarf, vest, hat, and boot coverings are new
Dick
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- Dick went as Dolly Parton
- Had a hell of a time picking WHICH Dolly Parton costume to emulate 
- Went with the one from her Imagination Library benefit concert
Cassandra
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- Tacky but doesn’t stand out as much as the others
- Almost wore one with a skirt but went with practicality
- Likes the way the fringe moves when she spins 
Jason
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- Outlaw, of course
- Would probably have a bigger, more obnoxious belt buckle 
- a hoe never gets cold, but he does get sweaty under all those layers
Stephanie
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- Everybody knew she was going to do something stupid
- Unlike Barbara, she will spend money on something she is never going to wear again
- It has purple
Tim
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- Bought it online
- It has fringe to poke fun at Dick’s Discowing suit 
- Complains about how uncomfortable the boots are even though everybody warned him about breaking them in before the trip
Duke
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- Found it while thrift shopping 
- Is yellow
- Probably posed in the mirror a TON because cmon, look at this fit
Damian
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- Thought this whole idea was stupid
- Was told by someone that he could be Sheriff and boss them around
- That was a mistake
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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Bruce: Cassandra has done nothing wrong ever in her life
David Cain: she killed a man
Bruce: no she didn't
Cass: I killed a man
Bruce: no you didn't
Bruce, watching a video of Cass killing a man: this is fake.
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kiwiweewee · 7 months ago
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These are so good that now i'm lowkey bitter about what we have. Red Robin is also kinda a mouthful. It's only a syllable longer than the other batfamily names, and there are other heroes with three-syllable aliases, but I find it awkward and takes a little longer to say than most, which y'know, isn't ideal for a codename. While we're at it, Batwing, Luke Fox, deserves a better name so people can differentiate between the character and the plane.
Alt names for Tim & Duke because they desperately need some:
Tim: Crow, Rook (chess piece & type of crow), or Cardinal (after Kon's death). I think his identity holds too many ties to Robin to leave the naming convention behind, but Red Robin is just egregious.
Duke: Ray (of light, approachable, hilarious to just use a regular sounding name), Kaleido (fun, power-related). Should be unique to him and not related to the Bats or Robins at all.
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