ramblemoon

[ramblemoon]

Im not getting any younger Summer's dripping down my eyes Hit the wave, hit the bong hit the sidewalk You make me smile in my brain While my mouth talks Hit the grave, hit this note hit this acid Strike a flame in a world made of plastic Rain dont always lead to thunder Hunger dont always lead to shame Take a breath, take a walk take a load off You've shown me everything without being a show off Take a break, take a fall, take a number My best awakening is in my quest for slumber OoooO Teach me how to feel Show me when the sun hangs low Show me that it's real OooooO mountains on her heel Purple when the sun hangs low Circling the wheel

[ramblemoon]

How America Fell

Pandering To some surface level ideal of patriotism A somber wavering flag. Dead ancestors Some suburban cop hugging his white child an eagle midair looking bald and stoic an old white lady with a pie in a windowsill Tanks, hot dogs, fireworks, light cheap beer Ignore the killings of innocent black people "They should have obeyed. So threatening!" "Wouldn't you have fired too?" "Fight or flight." White or die. Accept the banks are too big to fail The same way we are too small to succeed Its their dream we're working night shifts The baseball cap has replaced the hood There is no longer a need for anonymity Her enemies are plenty Home and abroad Queer liberal trans Brown Muslim feminist millenials White girls with Angel Olsen's haircut are ok We're at war with more blatant otherness If you don't shop at wal-mart you're a target Unless you own stocks in the sacred market Socialistic anarchistic Fuck logistics. Fire ballistics. In reality, the apprentice president is a star We'll let him do anything

[ramblemoon]

In the strange way things happen

I started this poetry/writing blog 5 or 6 (but definitely not quite 7) years ago. I originally called it Ramble Moon Lucifer cuz I was so edgy and had read almost an entire chapter of the Book of Satan. I posted a lot of stuff, some deep, others just exercises to work on rhyme schemes. I eventually exercised the Lucifer from the name, as I realized satanism is basically the libertarianism of spiritual philosophy, and I had grown into more of an agnostic Taoist democratic socialist. In other words I eventually stopped mistaking edginess for substance .

Over these last few years I’ve tried on different masks and jobs and cities: student, Albuquerque, tortilla maker, Amsterdam, senate intern, American tourist, DC, broke and lonely stand-up comedian, Austin. I’ve learned so much and changed so much through this strange journey, but there is a consistency underneath that I find is most potent in two areas: my love of friends and family as well as my creative voice.

About a year ago I started playing and writing music with a talented and beautiful soul called Bethony. We met in utopian fields of the Austin musicians section of Craigslist. Originally she just wanted a rhythm guitarist to play her already written songs live, but eventually our musical and personal chemistry led us to start a band.. or at least a folk duo. When I first showed her this page, all these poems that could be converted to lyrics, she was struck by the name. We have played music under the name Ramble Moon for almost a year. Over the course of this, our folk duo has grown apendages and achieved a sort of musical puberty. We’ve been joined by two other lovely, kind and talented souls: a drummer called Aria and a bassist/synth master by the name of Trey.

I tell you all this because as fans of this now neglected internet page, change is coming, and its coming hard. This tumblr will be used to plug the band that manifested from this writing page and took its namesake. If you hate music and pictures of musical babes, then by all means abandon this ship. But as a creative contributor, this evolution has felt completely organic and immensely rewarding. Thank you for supporting this page throughout these formative years and giving me the confidence to try new things and develop my creative voice. The original fans of this project, whatever it does or doesn’t become, were the people who liked and shared the original poems on this little tumblr page.

Love and gratitude,

Anton

[ramblemoon]

Flyover

I was in the air Flying Far above my office chair Hoping to never come down

Lyrics over clouds Written On a thinning airline napkin Crumpled in a ball and never found

Slept through the take off If I never wake up This napkin will be my goodbye

Just as good as any Better than editing Every little word ten thousand times

Empty seat next to me But the armrest is too heavy I slip my foot beneath it anyway

Staff quickly comes to correct me And threaten to eject me Midair They hear I’m into extra space

Hating their humor I consume an alcoholic Beverage that costs way too much

I sip it so slowly Til it spills all over me This pilot’s got a turbulent touch

So if you want a safe Uncomplicated ride A boat or bullet train is probably fine

But if you’re feeling brave enough To step onto a plane my love Away into the sky our hearts will fly

[ramblemoon]

Rabbit

Old friends and bad habits Cling to our roots Toxicity tightens When guilt is let loose The sun doesn’t feed us The heat only burns The difference between us Is one of us turned Dementedly docile Drinker of dreams Where whiskey pours heavy As the consciousness stream

I thought you were magic Saw you as a cure Felt that this was different I knew it was pure Heard the truth whispered Screamed it was a lie I was weighing you down Like these habits of mine Humiliated But not the right kind Back underground With these rabbits I climb

[ramblemoon]

TV taught me

It fucked me up on Hey Arnold!

when they stole Mr. Simmon’s sandwich 

he had an anxiety attack

still remember it so vividly 

haven’t seen the episode in more than 10-15 years

I guess it was the first time

I realized people are rotten 

[ramblemoon]

Lifeless

Batteries are draining Power level’s getting low Far into your training But you’ve got a ways to go You could always turn back early Empty handed to your home It would make your lifeless stressful Than to push through on your own

You are made of magic That you hide beneath your scars A catastrophe of secrets Shadows of imploding stars Flashing through these moments to remind us who we are Forgotten though we may be Memories and nothing more

I was watching TV Not a series but a show Thinking no one should believe a thing When advertisers rule I felt equally unsettling Naked but my drool Does it make my lifeless special To admit I lack one too

[ramblemoon]

Graveyard Shift of Consciousness

Movements Motions and hums Hug the periphery Through the waking eye The night is endlessly still Leaves slide reluctantly Across the dusty porch The warm winter breeze Memories Fleeting feelings of intimacy Obtained but seldom enjoyed Entertained but not cherished The scent of her hair on a pillow My head hasn’t rested for years Was any emotion ever sincere? Did I always view life through my mirror? The children sleep so deeply But I’m the one whose dreaming

Distractions Without interruption My mind hardly functions Writer works in emotional bursts Editor as vigilant as she is strategic Power struggle defines them both Mutes these rambling fits of reflection Keeps them complacently restrained

Emotions Darts in the alley finding their way To the bottom of the pit of my stomach I wipe away tears dismissed as fatigue Independence recognition & greed Staring back through a crack in the mirror As some spontaneous child screams Into oblivion

Sleepless nights Reducing friendships into followers Into moments crossed out By a genuine slip of the pen A crushing admission The fragility of these fingers This twitching eyelid My taboo crutch of forbidden love Ripening into missed opportunity Once unleashed my regret dosent bite It runs just as free as the last hour of life

[ramblemoon]

Ancient Anxious

Let’s find a diamond as deep as the sea That I could trade for all my poverty My best idea is a fantasy farce I am lost in the dark with a sword Sticking out of my heart

My only shield was democracy Ancient and rusted with hypocrisy The secret agents still see everything They love my poetry and my pornography They see the real me

Let’s find some comfort in another world Planets are trees and I’m a flying squirrel Im left to wonder by my wonderful self I am lost in the light of my dreams More than anyone else

Stay up all night just to remain employed I’m half alive but that half’s so annoyed I’m breathing easy and it keeps me calm I’ll keep it strong until the feeling’s gone Then we’ll explore beyond

[ramblemoon]

Follow my dreams While you’re still awake. I hear the ghosts in the hallway shaking Does it even matter what I do or say? If I’m only OK through the best days? If there’s somehow a heaven I never have been. I’m never going

Its not the kind of weather to be showing skin, such a dirty sin. Eyebrows penciled in its such an evil sin you get off to They’re here to stop you before it begins they’re gonna tell your friends where you’ve been. Discuss with your daughter all the deeds that you’ve done. You better show your son how to save himself We need to teach that kid how to run.

Said Delaware to France Just let the sea between us dance. Beneath the leather moon the cold waves sparkling blue The air carries tears in the clouds til heavy water seeps right through. Weeping miles down the starlit night Just to land so close to you.

A comet headed towards my eyes just keeps on burning through the sky. We can paint a pretty picture of the day before the doom. Duct taped all the curtains in my room to keep the the sun from seeing through. No need to gaze upon the star to feel it shining And when it dies, so will I and so will everyone I know and probably even those I don’t. Definitely you

[ramblemoon]

Pasturizing Pupils

My knees shake the clock til it lies to me

Pretending 4 am is made for sleep instead of secrets

Mutualy destructive stars shine seductively out of reach

Sirens of the night wail me sober out of sleep

Nose sniffles loudly to ears that take offense

Tar soaked lungs that gasp for your acknowledgement

From an educated tongue confusing love with self reflection

Reduction of the source just like a wheel made of horses

[ramblemoon]

Coming to Terms with our own Stench; Not the World’s

Are you really trying to help yourself

By getting in the way

Stranger minds than mine stay hidden underneath the shade 

Some days we don’t deserve 

the misery we’ve probably earned 

When the bees in their hair

Meet the mosquitos in our bones

I was always wanderlust when looking for a home

Chewing on loose teeth 

sweet relief from all the grief

Release your shoulders let them rest.. 

Just to be is always best.

Belief in who we are?

what we do? 

what we know?

[ramblemoon]

Theories

She lets me see there is life in all things lifted then dropped it’s the cycle of being Circular thoughts leading back to the start new perspective on life and the sadness restarts -not evolved, not destroyed yet it’s never the same it’s the nature of life and the death it so craves the reluctance to act, the abundance of thoughts it’s a mind of it’s own but it’s all i have got Bring me theories to test and devour Created my words, but the silence is ours I am most open when my mouth is closed Death was the name of a beautiful soul who relaxed in the warmth and rejoiced in the cold Grew through the seasons, followed her heart’s circular beat leading back to the start -death grew weary of life, life was frightened of death So she rested her eyes and forever she slept Her thoughts turned to dreams, her dreams became life But Life was the reason she’d rested her eyes Bring me theories to test and devour Created my words, but the silence is ours I am most open when my eyes are closed cuz the nothing I see is the nothing we know

[ramblemoon]

How! He! Hates!

Project his foul mood onto you

Run away

No blame

Protect that ego testicle

Point of view,

No shame

Defend his ugly

Grab all the beer

Steal all the beer

Drink only milk

He will never say he's sorry

Not for your gold

Not for your silk

Bought a new agency and turned everybody down

They need him more than he needs them

Came to the conference with his golden cape and crown

Who needs a life ?

Who needs friends?

He only asks when it's a question you wouldn't know

His only quest is to watch the trial

He offers a smirk when you guess and get it wrong

Is that the only time he smiles?

He lives in a dream that I woke up from

He speaks in pitches I can no longer hear

His is a life of self repulsion. Delusion

Driven by doubt. Crashed by the fear

[ramblemoon]

Should?She?See?

Burning through her bucket list

Makes days like this last longer

If she simplified her element

We'd feel chemistry bond stronger

 Can she travel to somewhere else

Cuz it's a world full of wander

Thinking happiness exists outside herself 

Heard there's a party in her heart

She asks herself if she'll be attending  

Decides to try to schedule it in if nothing better drags along

Well what a lousy lonely thing to say

She can face the isolated day

Without so much as a smile or wave from a stranger

It never has to feel so hard

If she can be best friends with herself 

She can truly value all her time alone with the world

Without the sad elaborate charade 

Of just deleting the problems away

She can learn to live a better day

Starting Sometime Tomorrow 

[ramblemoon]

More than the Pheremones

My sleep schedule is a sadist’s joke

A nightmare that lasts til it's sunny

So I act like its college when I still was fun

Before my bills began to control me

I'm begging the fading stars for a sound

Other than gravity dragging me down

Take this silence as the final answer

Science said it out loud

It's been a while since I felt so calm

Fully within and without. 

Built a culture on an atom bomb

Floating through pharmacy clouds

Maybe its more than the pheromones

Saving these dreams from the doubt

Maybe it's more than the student loans

Shitting on my savings account

I need to get out more.

Wanna make a new conditional friend

Pick a cool reason to struggle. Like I got too many thoughts man

Im trying to transcend them

Might try more meditation

But only the whiteboy stoner version

Now I reject medication

No need to try to numb the burden

I need to Attach, Detach, Attack, Repeat until I I feel whole

So many sunrises in this beautiful life

That will never need to see our control

This lack of understanding is overwhelming

Though getting it isn't the goal

Play the role of a positive soul. Live free. Let go

[ramblemoon]

Resting Trees are Still Not Still

Stretching my stiff spine Snaps and crackles as I twist Bug bite towards the middle left Not quite sun burned but kissed strong but sore feet cut and dry Limbs no longer limber Trying to sleep I wonder why My mind is shouting Timberrrrrrr Body like a falling tree My stalling soul aged gracefully The best advice is let yet be Embrace impossibility Call it fear or inspiration I don't need you here to hear it Hero in a cape of indignation If I should fall I'll lay in peace My promise - Personal salvation Save my dying for the winter Love of Earth in each rotation