strawberrysznn

[strawberrysznn]

i’m so glad i slipped through the fingers of people who had no idea how to hold me

[strawberrysznn]

✧ stop comparing and start…

 celebrating all your wins, no matter how small they may seem

reflecting on how much you’ve grown over time

living your life for you, not for others

doing what makes you happy

working hard towards your goals

liking the person you see in the mirror

being kinder to yourself

not caring what others think, they will judge anyway

doing things that scare you

appreciating the world around you

focusing on your next step, not the whole mountain

enjoying where you are & who you are right now

realizing no one is you. that is your super power.

xoxo, sally

pic1 | pic2 | pic3

[strawberrysznn]

Phone on DND. No roster. No relationship. But there was once a time.

Bits and pieces from the 23,000 words I wrote about her after the breakup (WLW)

Ever wonder how a writer loves an ex? This is how. I wrote over 23,000 words about a girl I once had but couldn't keep.

This isn't my typical type of post. I usually tell people how to fall in love with themselves or how to pull yourself out of bedrotting. But this girl was essential to me, she was how I fell in love with myself and she was why I chose to pull myself out of a depressive loop. This may not turn out to be my most popular post, but it'll be my most genuine and cared for. (And yes, the original document does have the date of the entry.)

February 13, 2023

1 month and 27 days since the breakup

It’s crazy how almost 3 months ago we were saying those three words to each other, the good morning, the good night, the good luck, how I would miss you whenever I was in school. And how next month you’re leaving forever and we won’t ever see each other again. But here I am, admitting that I still love you. It’s been getting harder and harder to say those three words to someone else, and it’s even harder to believe it when it’s said to me.

January 27, 2024

1 year, 1 month, and 10 days since the breakup

Maybe I’ll let you go after all. I’d just have to hope to God I’ll be able to love someone else as much as I love you.

February 22, 2024

1 year, 2 months, and 5 days since the breakup

It's been more than a month, and god, I really hoped you didn't ruin me as a person just like how you said you thought you did. Because exactly a month after you didn't give me an answer, someone else did, [another boy's name] did. He told me things about me that you wouldn't. For once, I didn't doubt I was liked back or cared for, and I didn't think he meant less than what he said. For once, someone didn't make me feel unlovable.

But whenever I talk to that someone or even do as much as look at him, I look for you. I search for any little piece of glass that shows your reflection, anything at all that resembles you. I search for your laugh in his, the one laugh that I would rarely hear but will always replay in my head. I search for your never-ending hobbies in his, hoping that I’d also find the intrigue I found in yours.

I search for the comfort of your words in his, and I search with a miserable attempt of convincing myself that I don't miss yours or you or everything you do.

March 20, 2024

1 year, 3 months, and 3 days since the breakup

God, I hope you know just how much [another boy's name] treats me well. Within the past nearly 2 years, you have left me feeling anxious, undervalued, and as if I’m impossible to love. But in 2 months, [boy's name] made me feel reassured. I never doubted him and his words for a second. And yet it’s not him. It's still you.

Do you know how frustrating that is? For years, I’ve been wanting to be treated right by someone who doesn't have to be perfect but someone who would become better for me. Now that I have found someone - now that I have found [boy's name], I thought I would choose him. I thought I’d be writing about him. But no, it's still you.

You are still the reflection I can't find in other mirrors, you are still the embodiment of every perfect thing, the dream outside of sleep, the phenomenon people look for, the one beyond what poets write about. You are still the words I cannot find, for not even a dictionary - no matter how thick - can describe you.

June 18, 2024

1 year, 6 months, and 1 day since the breakup

We talked, communicated, and decided that it’d be better if we both let go. I told you that we can’t be close friends anymore, and although it’s something I should’ve told you a long time ago, it ached to do so. Your words, “If it doesn’t work out with your future significant other, I’d love to try with you again under the right circumstances” are engraved in my mind, and I really do try my hardest to sand it out in hopes the memories of you will no longer be a carving I carry each day.

I still love you, I don’t think I’ll ever stop. But this is for the best. And anyway, if we were really meant to be, we'd somehow find our way to one another again. Love is supposed to be inevitable, one that transcends any type of barrier. If it’s right, it’ll happen. Right?

(We still stayed as friends. I broke my own rules. We started talking again just shortly after that.)

December 17, 2024

2 years

It’s now December 17 and I didn’t realize today marks our breakup as 2 years ago until I typed it out. It’s astonishing yet irritating how every single thing is you. You’re everywhere but with me. You dmed me earlier today, asking me to proofread your essay, and I did. While talking to you and reading your essay, I got a glimpse of that feeling again, that one feeling that I never thought I missed until now. That feeling that used to make me think, “Oh my god, I love this girl.” That feeling I’d feel whenever I read or see any of your work, the way my breath catches, and I’m just left dazed and thinking if this girl I’ve loved for years is real or a dream.

Saying that I love you is now unbelievable to me, something I cannot grasp for the life of me. I’ve been reading bits and pieces of what I previously wrote here, and I went through so many stages. I was devastated, mad, irritated, yearning, pulling away, then coming back. But the one thing that never changed in the more than 12 months I wrote about you is I loved you.

I loved you, I love you, and I’m terrified that I’ll keep loving you. I’m terrified that I’ll keep insisting that you let me proofread all your work and wrap up the final edited version for you just for you to get plenty of rest. I’m terrified that I’ll keep writing here, that sooner or later I’ll find myself writing “3 years since the breakup.” I’m terrified that I’ll keep comparing other people to you, that I’ll keep looking for your intellect and your humor and the way you made me feel.

It’s you. It’s always been about you, it’s always been you. I’m terrified it’ll always be you, the one person I can’t have.

(On January 11th of 2025, we talked and decided to part ways. I talked to her, telling her that I can't be friends anymore. But really, secretly, I just wanted to see if she'd fight to keep me. I asked her if she wanted me to let go or for us to try again. She chose to let me go. What she doesn't know is I would've stayed if she wanted me to. I just wanted to hear the words from her. All she had to do was ask, but she never did.)

January 18, 2025

I still carry a piece of you everywhere I go. A song, a memory, a hobby. Even when I don't, the universe carries it for me. A song, a place, a thing, your name, your hobby. You're everywhere but with me. 

January 24, 2025

If we're actually capable of living multiple lives, I’d choose to meet you in every single one. You'd be the first one I look for. I’d fall in love with you over and over again.

March 29, 2025

I’m slowly finding purpose and happiness beyond you. For the first time, I’m not scared. I’m relieved for it. 

April 16, 2025

I had a dream that we talked again.

May 12, 2025

People tell me I can find someone better. I never wanted better. I wanted you.

I’m starting to think my words were never mine to begin with. They were always yours, carved and made only for you.

May 24, 2025

No one is you, and that makes it so much harder.

June 30, 2025

I remember during our relationship, I kept this Google Docs document filled with everything I knew about you. I knew I was gonna remember each detail either way, but I still wanted to be sure. I wanted to know everything about you. Each detail was engraved in my mind, like it was the back of my hand. I still remember your usual order at Jollibee, something you told me once 3 years ago when we were on a date. I still remember when you told me that if it doesn't work out with my future significant other, you'd love to try with me again under the right circumstances. 

I hope you know that whether it's been 3 years or 6 years or even a decade, I’ll always be here waiting to memorize more of you. And even if you'd be a whole different person by then, then I’ll gladly get to know you all over again.

To the girl,

if you see this (even though you most likely will not), I hope you know I still haven't stopped writing about you even after the breakup and after we decided to let go for good. You were and are everything to me, even if we have parted ways already. If you want to know, I feel your absence a lot less now, but I still could never forget about you. I meant it when I told you that every single thing is tainted with the memory of you.

But if you do find this, please do not come to me. Don't give me a message, don't call me, don't show up. Don't even show that you saw this post. I can't afford to feel the relief and heart race I know I'll feel if I see your name in my notifications bar. I don't want to be haunted by you again and again. Don't remind me that you'll always be the first person I want to come to for everything. I need to move on, and so do you. Let's keep our ways parted.

To whoever is reading this,

Thank you. I didn't expect for anyone to reach the end, but you did, and I'm grateful. This blog post was supposed to be poetic in some way, a journal and a journey in one. If you've experienced something like this, I promise it does get better. You may not be able to stop loving them, but you eventually stop aching for them and start caring for yourself, and that's worth something.

[strawberrysznn]

[strawberrysznn]

[strawberrysznn]

the older i get, i completely understand why some people go off the grid and live their lives in private

[strawberrysznn]

13 gentle reminders 𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒𓍯 ִֶָ :

the past is in the past, each day is new day to decide to start fresh.

opinions do not define reality.

everyone’s journey is different, no two lives are exactly the same.

time is the essence of healing.

judgement is a confession of character.

overthinking will lead to sadness and surrendering will lead you to clarity.

happiness is an inside job, found within.

positive thoughts influence positive actions.

smiles are contagious.

sprinkle kindness, it’s free but worth every penny.

you only fail if you give up or do not try.

what goes around comes around.

most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life really is.

[strawberrysznn]

only 46 notes away from getting 1k notes !! please help me achieve my goal<3

How to find the best version of yourself that you'll fall in love with

As someone who has gone through SO many versions of herself and is now slowly growing to be a person she's genuinely happy and in love with

Trust me when I say I've had a lot of identities these past few years. It took me a lot of time to really find the best version of myself, the version that I'm genuinely happy with, the version that my 10 year old self would have looked up to. However, it's different for everyone. The definition of an "it girl" to me might be different from your definition, and the personality and life that truly feels me might not suit you. So, please take note that this is highly subjective and it's all about you and what works for you.

The one and only thing I did to rebrand myself: I created a character.

I gave my character a new name. You can give yours your current one or a nickname. I gave mine my second name. I built this character, I envisioned her, I turned her into a realistic person that I knew I'd look up to.

Basically, create an alter ego. And it wasn't easy to curate this character for me, it took a lot of time for me to build her into someone that I'd want to be, someone that still has flaws but embodies the energy and lifestyle I want.

Know what you want. How does this new you act? What do they like and dislike? What matters to them? How do they impact the people around them? What are they like? How would you describe them? What are their flaws and how do they deal with it? What are the bad habits they got rid of?

Make sure this version you want feels like you. This isn't about turning into another person, it's about growing as a person. It's about looking in the mirror and loving what you see with no doubt and no regrets. It's about knowing what you want and taking it right away, and it's about taking control of your own life and shaping it into one that you will fall in love with every single day.

Look up to this person. Get to know this person, know every single thing about them. Make sure that as you create this alter ego, it's truly someone you'd 100% look up to.

Fall in love. Personally, this part is my favorite. I start to visualize and imagine this person so much that I completely fall in love with her. This version is me, truly me, and utterly me. It's not someone else, it's the person I want to be because everything about this person feels like me. I start to romanticize growing and becoming this person, slowly shaping myself, changing my lifestyle, taking action, taking initiative, and building myself and my life brick by brick to fall in love with what I see in the mirror.

Take action and build yourself up. Slowly embody this person. You can't change overnight, but you can grow and shape yourself step by step.

This is NOT about turning into someone else. This isn't about changing yourself to be more likeable or to please others. This is all about knowing what direction you want to go and taking it. Make sure this character is realistic and truly you. Do not try to be someone you won't be happy with, be someone that will make it easier for you to love yourself. Don't become someone that will only push you beyond your limits and break you, become someone who can take control of their own life enough to build their life solely for themselves.

Find yourself, find the best version of yourself, and you'll know what path to take. All you have to do now is take the path.

[strawberrysznn]

THE secret of every "effortlessly perfect" girl

You are NOT dumb, ugly, unskilled, or unlucky. Greatness comes with effort. Girls that seem effortlessly perfect are the ones who put the most effort into themselves. The key to being the best version of yourself is simple but overlooked.

Be the best version of yourself with only 5 steps.

1. Believe that you can so that you will.

Again, you are NOT dumb, ugly, unskilled, or unlucky. Want to be the best version of yourself? Believe that you can be the best version of yourself so that you will be the best version of yourself. Doubting yourself and thinking, "Oh, my capabilities are only up to here" or "Oh, I could never be one of those amazing girls" will only bring you down. Believing and convincing yourself that you have potential will actually help you reach your fullest potential. Most importantly, you don't need a lot of money to be better.

2. Accept you need to put effort.

Accept that you have to get up and make some effort. You have to work hard, invest in yourself, build yourself up. Stop waiting, stop seeking for perfectionism, stop delaying. Waiting will not help you, it'll make you feel worse about yourself. There's no right time, only time and what you do with it. There's no perfect progress or a perfect day, just the effort of trying to be consistent. There's no better time to start other than now.

3. Habit-stacking.

Build and stack beneficial habits one by one. For example, drink a glass of water first thing in the morning. Then once you're consistent, make it a habit to not open your phone immediately when you wake up. Slowly stack your habits until you've trained yourself in effortlessly putting effort into yourself.

4. Find your pace.

You can never be your best version of yourself overnight. It takes time and effort -- lots of it. Don't overwhelm yourself by throwing so many goals and tasks all at the same time at yourself. Instead, find a pace that works for you, divide your goals / tasks, and focus on only one or very few of them at a time. For example, for the next 2 weeks, focus on only getting up at an early hour and lessening your screen time. Then after that, spend another 2 weeks getting exercise daily.

5. Consistency vs Perfectionism.

No one is completely consistent on the first try. We fail, we forget, we make mistakes, but that's okay. If you missed, why would you miss even more? For example, you didn't wake up at the time you wanted to. Why would you tell yourself to try again next week when you can try again tomorrow? If you spilled water on yourself accidentally, would you spill more water on yourself? Build consistency over time, don't seek for perfectionism. You messed up your diet today? Then try again tomorrow. Just because you made a mistake or something interrupted your flow doesn't mean it doesn't work for you, it means you need to try again. Be consistent in trying and making an effort, not in having perfect progress.

The best gift you could ever receive is you. Yourself. Treasure that gift and put effort into taking care of it.

[strawberrysznn]

friendly reminder 🪷

in my control

my actions

the way i respond

my values & goals

my boundaries

my beliefs

my choices

my perspective & mindset

what i take responsibility for

what i focus on

how i spend my time

how i engage

in my influence

my health

my wellness & wellbeing

my connections

relationship dynamics

my reputation

certain aspects of the future

my energy

my environment

my finances

not in my control

the past

my memories

regrets

others feelings

others thoughts

others words

others beliefs

others behaviors & responses

politics

world conflict

aging

illness

loss

the weather

the future

[strawberrysznn]

cultivating your taste is so important. you don’t have to be particularly structured or methodical about it, but you should develop real curiosity about why you like the things you do, how they make you feel, why it matters… to put yourself around things that are considered truly great even if you don’t get it yet. and learn to listen to other people who have cultivated their own taste, not to replicate theirs but to see how they do it and share in their expansive energy… the more you interact with good taste, whatever that means to you, the more depth you carve into your own soul… and if you crave success in some capacity, it has this strange way of making you seem more “real” and significant to others around you, and in a way that is so authentic and natural and pleasurable. it just creates an energy that propels you forward in every way. so next time you worry if you’re being shallow, you’re not, that’s a lie, you’re actually bringing great depth… what you like matters because how you feel matters. a lot. like it’s the most important thing. you know?

[strawberrysznn]

[strawberrysznn]

[strawberrysznn]

how old are you?

14 years old, i'm about to turn 15 this month of May! 🫶🏻

[strawberrysznn]

Beauty AND brains. Your knowledge is your weapon.

Let's not only be insanely beautiful but also disgustingly educated. Other than discipline and hard work, your knowledge is your weapon in this world of chaos, something that you can sharpen and use.

Where can you expand your knowledge? What areas, what topics

How can you expand your knowledge? In different circumstances and preferences such as if you're too busy or if you have a short attention span

Where can you expand your knowledge?

I DO NOT mean that you need to be an expert at everything. You don't need multiple degrees for each type of intelligence. However, if you want to sharpen your weapon, sharpen your knowledge.

These are the areas where you CAN sharpen your knowledge AND the areas where you SHOULD know the basics in:

Emotional, Communication, Morals, Ethics. Be human, and make others feel human too. Cultivate empathy, understand mental health, build your conscience, and differentiate right from wrong. Communicate frequently and effectively.

History, Culture, Politics. The world is chaotic — learn to stand your ground. Understand history, politics, corruption, culture, and the overlooked heroes. Know what shaped the past to navigate the future.

Digital Literacy. The internet is a double-edged sword. Learn to navigate it safely, protect your privacy, spot misinformation, and adapt to evolving technology.

Manners, Etiquette, Body Language. The way you present yourself matters. Respect others, read unspoken cues, and master the art of presence.

Self-Sufficiency, Life Skills, Livelihood. You won’t always have someone to rely on. Cook, clean, manage time, handle money, and adapt to life’s challenges. Be independent.

Literature, Language, Writing. Words are power. Read, write, and communicate with depth. Language shapes history, culture, and thought—use it wisely.

Critical Thinking, Problem-Solving. The world isn’t black and white. Question everything, analyze critically, recognize manipulation, and think for yourself. Don't be swayed easily by others.

Science and Math. The foundation of everything. At least know the basics, enough to understand the forces shaping the world — logic, numbers, and the universe itself.

Self-Care, Hygiene, Fitness, Health. Your body and mind are your greatest assets. Eat well, stay active, manage stress, and prioritize your well-being before it’s too late.

How can you expand your knowledge?

When you have free time When you're busy When you prefer learning visually When you have little to no attention span

You are what you consume. Now that you know what topics you can expand your knowledge on, these are what you can use / do to consume those information:

Have some free time? Do / use these

Read books, take online courses, or watch in-depth documentaries. (Example: history books, finance courses, science explainers) Engage in discussions or debates to refine your thinking. (Example: politics, ethics, critical thinking) Try hands-on learning like experiments, DIY projects, or journaling. (Example: cooking, coding, writing) Attend workshops, seminars, or community events.

Too busy? Do / use these

Listen to podcasts or audiobooks while traveling, doing tasks / work / school work, or doing chores. (Example: podcasts on Spotify / Tiktok, Youtube videos where the creator is more on speaking, audiobooks on Audible or by downloading a free e-pub format e-book online then uploading it into Google Playbooks and using the audiobook / text-to-speech format) Follow bite-sized content on social media. (Example: short educational / history Tiktok videos, digital literacy infographics, photos on Pinterest) Take advantage of apps and tools for productivity, learning, etc. (Example: budgeting apps, language-learning apps) Watch short, informative videos during breaks. (Example: TED-Ed, Ted Talks, short Tiktok videos)

Like to learn visually / by watching? Do / use these

Watch video explainers, documentaries, or animated infographics. Use apps that gamify learning. (Example: Duolingo for language, Codecademy for coding) Follow visually engaging content creators. (Example: finance charts, body language breakdowns) Make mind maps or illustrated notes to break down complex topics. (Example: self-care routines, political structures, problem-solving techniques)

Little to no attention span? Do / use these

Learn through short-form content like TikToks, reels, or infographics. Play interactive or gamified learning apps. (Example: strategy games, trivia quizzes) Follow meme-based or storytelling-style education accounts. Try hands-on, fast-paced activities. (Example: debate flash rounds, real-world problem-solving challenges, DIY experiments)

Begin small, learn the basics, take a step at a time, and start from there. Be BOTH beauty and brains. You have a weapon (your knowledge), sharpen it and use it.

[strawberrysznn]

five hobbies you should have 🎧

hobbies play a significant role in enriching our lives. they provide inspiration and make good use of your time and energy. here’s 5 types of hobbies that you should include in your daily life:

one to keep you creative. having a creative hobby is like giving your brain a delightful playground where it can roam free and explore new ideas. these types of hobbies provide stress relief and self expression, as well as growing in your skills and confidence. suggestions include: drawing or sketching, painting, baking or cooking, editing, creative writing or scripting, gardening, & crafting projects like sewing, making jewelry, knitting.

one to build knowledge. having a hobby that builds knowledge is incredibly valuable and helpful. hobbies of this type keep your mind active and focused. it is rewarding to reap the benefits of engaging in these hobbies, benefits like enjoyment, fulfillment, success, and problem solving skills. suggestions include: reading books, articles or journals, watching inspirational YouTube videos, learning a new language, studying history or subjects, & blogging.

one to evolve mindset. having a hobby that evolves your mindset is key to carrying out a successful life. these hobbies broaden your perspective, give you confidence in challenges, and make you more open to experience. suggestions include: traveling and exploring, volunteering or helping others, reading self help books, listening to a daily podcast, & time alone in meditation.

one to keep you in shape. hobbies that involve physical activity are helpful for staying healthy and maintaining a clear mind. they are fun ways to stay active, boost your energy levels, and improve your mood. suggestions include: yoga and pilates exercises, running or taking a light jog daily, dancing to your favorite tunes, cycling, & sports like tennis and swimming. weekly meal prepping is also a fun hobby!

one to make money. hobbies that make you money provide many benefits like financial security, turning your skills and passions into a source of income, and give you personal fulfillment. these hobbies also give you valuable experience and attract opportunities for expansion. suggestions include: running a blog, setting up an online store for products or services, selling handmade items, content creation for social media, reading financial literacy books, & working a job you enjoy.

if you desire to have less stress, improved mental health and better confidence, i encourage you to consider these 5 hobbies and make time for one of each type every day. they all provide a positive outlet to escape from daily pressures, ultimately contributing to a more fulfilling life. anything is possible! 🌱

[strawberrysznn]

"I can change him" did he shit himself???