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dameronspector · 2 months ago

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Philophobia

(PART 1)

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x Stark!Reader

Summary: Devastated by your father’s death and cutting yourself off from everyone, you are on the road of recovery, accompanied by your uncle Rhodey. After Rhodey has finally convinced you, you agree to reunite with Sam Wilson and help him with his tech. He introduces you to another techie nerd, named Joaquin Torres, for the first time. Will you let your phobia get in the way and push away your new found family and this beautiful boy? Or will you get better and let yourself be loved once again?

Warnings: Mentions of Death and Depression/Depressive episodes, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Abuse by a parent (not Tony), Weight loss due to stress, Nightmares, Some cursing, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Steve Rogers Slander- please don’t read this if that’s not something you’re looking for, Reader is sassy and a bit reserved because of The incident and because they’re a Stark, Reader has some phobias, Found family, also there’s a few references and hidden plots in this. 😁 (please keep in mind that I wrote this from my point of view as a south asian.)

Author’s note: I probably went overboard and this is very long + very self indulgent….but tony stark is the father who raised me and joaquin torres is my boyfriend so i Had to do this. ☺️ also lots of found family content with Rhodey, Sam and Bucky. Set around the time of TFATWS. Please let me know if there’s any changes to be made if I have written anything wrong.

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Moving back to New York was extremely hard and painful for you ever since your dad passed away. That was the city that you were born and raised in and it had the ghosts of your father’s and family’s moments everywhere. But you told Pepper that you couldn’t handle living in that cabin anymore because 1. you were going stir crazy since you loved the hustle bustle of a city and 2. the depressive episodes were more frequent than ever.

You’d think living in your family cabin that has your father’s memories written across every wall would help you…but you’re a Stark. Ignoring your own problems and running away from emotions is kind of your specialty. Hereditary, even.

Pepper, bless her heart, told you that she’s happy you are trying to get back your life back on track and that she would always be there for you. Even if you called her Pepper, she’s always been your Mother.

Hardest part of it all was saying goodbye to Morgan. Little Morgan who was so attached to you and vice versa. She was too young to even process her father’s death, how was she supposed to understand why her elder sibling was never leaving their room? And now that same sibling was going too far away from their house. It took Pepper, Happy and you to console Morgan and she was finally ready to send you off–only with a (pinky) promise of visiting her during holidays.

Rhodey and Happy helped you settle in your newest house- a penthouse in manhattan that your dad left behind for you. That was 3 months ago. Now, fully settled in your new space, you’ve decided to restart college to finish your degree that was put on pause because of a giant purple psycho. You had decided you will stop the whole Avenger shit the moment you lost your dad. You needed to leave that life behind in order to move on, and what better than being filthy educated and eventually finding a normal job?

Well, let’s just say it didn’t go as planned.

I mean, really, were you expecting to just magically heal from the most traumatic time of your life in three months, with no therapy or contact from your family and friends?

Panic attacks are like your best friends. The other day you had a panic attack because you found a scarf that was gifted to you by your dad. Embarrassing, really.

Nightmares are something you have been walking hand-in-hand with since your dad was kidnapped and you were just a little kid. But now, every night you close your eyes and you see your father’s lifeless eyes staring back into yours.So it’s not surprising that you have become insomniac as well.

Overall, you were continuing the Stark legacy of being severely mentally ill but not doing anything to help it or accepting any help. The only difference was that you chose NOT to drink until you blacked out because after watching your dad do that as a kid, you developed a strong distaste for any type of alcohol. It was so bad, that you got diagnosed with dispophobia– a persistent fear of drinking alcohol. It’s real, look it up.

You chose the other option—pushing everyone around you away until you wallowed in your misery, loneliness and sorrows.

This behaviour of yours was constantly stressing Pepper, Rhodey and Happy out. All three of them did their best to help you and make you socialise, but everytime they approached, you either ignored their calls and messages or told them you were busy (by busy you meant that you were tinkering on your father’s old suits that you moved to your apartment, but you didn’t tell them that.)

Even FRIDAY tried giving them updates on your well-being but you had threatened the AI to not “leak” any of your “information”. This was giving the three of them a major déjà vu. Eventually, they had enough and Rhodey came to your house one day because he knew he’s the only one who can call out your shit. He kinda had a Phd in tackling the Stark family’s issues.

“Look kid, it’s been 3 months. You haven’t bothered to call or text any of us. We didn’t even know if you were alive since you have banned FRIDAY from reporting anything to us as well. Can you please spend one evening with us for a dinner? Hell, if not all of us,then atleast meet up with Morgan?”, Rhodey said firmly with his eyebrows furrowed and arms folded tightly around his chest, leaning on your kitchen island.

You were making your dinner when he decided to come over. Trying your best to be nonchalant, you kept stirring the soup with your back to him, and scoffed, “You sound exactly like dad sometimes.”

Rhodey closed his eyes in frustration. “That’s not important right now. You’re doing the same thing that Tony did when he was feeling all these… emotions. Please, stop this kiddo. You’ve got all of us. Always. Just reach out once and we’ll be there to catch you”, he replied in a soft tone.

You took a deep breath and he saw your shoulders go up and down. You stopped stirring the soup, turned the gas off and turned around to face him.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, making yourself smaller, and intently focused on your shoes to avoid meeting his eyes.

“There’s nothing to ask. I’ve already told you I will be starting college soon. I’ll keep myself productive and occupied. It’ll be alright, don’t worry about me”, you say, your voice scratchy after not using it for a long time.

Rhodey observed you with his sharp gaze. You knew you were screwed the moment you saw Rhodey at the door because he could read you like a book. Honestly, it was extremely intimidating but you will never admit that to his face. He’s been around for your whole life- right from your birth. He knew you like you were his own child.

“FRIDAY, activate babysitter protocol”, he said, his voice stern.

You snapped your gaze up from your shoes to stare at him in confusion.

“On it Mr. Rhodes”, FRIDAY replied.

“What the hell is this?”, you replied narrowing your eyes at him.

“I know you blocked FRIDAY from telling us anything about you. Did you know Tony had an emergency protocol built in so that if there’s anything that went wrong while you were alone, FRIDAY would update him?”, Rhodey replied nonchalantly.

You widened your eyes and immediately teared up on hearing how protective your dad was over you. You were too tired to fight back so you just shut your eyes and wrapped your arms around your body tighter.

“FRIDAY, give me a proper run down of the kid’s activities and schedule in this past month. Including their health”, Rhodey asked the AI while observing you closely.

“OK sir. In this month, they have stepped out of the house only once for buying groceries. The rest of the month they’ve been at home, fixing Mr Stark’s suits”, FRIDAY finished.

At this, Rhodey’s eyes widened. “Tony’s suits? How did you even get these suits?” “They sneaked in the suits 2 months ago, Sir”, Rhodey’s eyes snapped back to yours. 2 months ago- right after you moved in. The suits were at the new compound and they were heavily guarded.

They should’ve known better because did they really expect you, a genius like your father, to not figure out how to hack the systems? It was a cakewalk for you.

You scrunched your eyes in shame and bowed your head. “Kid….”, he sighed.

“Tell me about their health, FRI”, Rhodey asked in a pained voice.

“They’ve had panic attacks almost every week. I suggested taking medication or visiting the therapist, but my requests were ignored. I’ve also observed a spike in their heartbeat everytime a loud noise is heard. They have nightmares regularly due to which they have stopped sleeping altogether. All the stress has made them lose weight, their appetite has lessened and has made them more irritable and unpredictable”, FRIDAY finished (snitched, you think).

Hearing it from someone else made it sound so much worse. You couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down your face.

You were too busy keeping the sobs from coming out of your mouth to notice Rhodey coming closer and wrapping his arms around you. He brought you closer and hugged you tightly and that completely broke you.

You leaned your head against his chest and wrapped your arms around his torso and just sobbed. Rhodey hushed you gently and rubbed your back softly with one of his hands.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t deal with this, Uncle. Please. I need him back”, you said in between sobs while clutching him tightly and pressing your face into his chest. Rhodey teared up at this and put one of his hands behind your head.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Let it out. I’m so sorry I didn’t visit you sooner. I know what you’re feeling. But I’ve got you now. Please allow me to help you?”, he said weakly.

You let out a shuddering breath and tried to calm yourself down. “Okay. ”, you replied in a weak voice. Rhodey broke the hug before putting his hands on your shoulders and let you wipe your tears. He caressed your head and told you, “We’re gonna get you something to eat first. From tomorrow, we will work on your routine and talk to your therapist about your insomnia and panic attacks. And then, you will be taking lots of rest. No more tinkering on the suits endlessly or skipping meals. We will go on walks and you will have a dinner with us at the cabin soon. That okay?”, he asked gently. You looked up at him and nodded your head yes. “Good. Now, you sit your ass down and Rest. Let me prepare your dinner”, he says while moving around you to get to the stove. “Do you even know how to turn on the stove?”, you say in a stuffy voice while wiping your nose with your sleeve and side eyeing him. He abruptly pauses and turns around. “You’re such a little shit, you know that?”, he says sassily while pointing a finger at you. That brings out a genuine smile from you and you just chuckle before he starts laughing as well. Your smile fades slowly. “Thank you. This means a lot to me,” you reply softly. Both of your eyes start tearing up and he just nods his head before giving you a side hug. “Anything for my favourite Stark”, he says in a shaky voice.

2 Months Later

You and Rhodey fell into a rhythm after that night. He stayed with you for some days and got you checked with your therapist and helped you around the house. He took you out for jogs every morning, made you work out and exercise every day. This made you feel productive and gave you a routine to follow. It also improved your appetite and you started to genuinely enjoy making healthy and filling meals.

You stopped unnecessarily tinkering on the suits and the medicines prescribed by your doctor helped you sleep better. You still had a long way to go but you had finally started stepping out of the house and went to a dinner at the cabin. Happy, Pepper and Morgan were so delighted to see you and they told you how proud they are of you. You just gave all the credit to your uncle Rhodey.

Rhodey had become a major figure in your life lately. He’d always been there for you and your dad but now he was like a teacher and mentor to you. All thanks to him, you could get your life back on track. And he was happy to help you anyways because you were like his own child.

But he’d started to take you to various social events lately and you HATED that. You were always a shy and socially anxious kid (a complete opposite of your father.) So the thought of attending social events where so many people and cameras were present…that was enough to send you into an early grave.

“Rhodey….for the last time. I’m not going with you. What am I even gonna do there? Sit and yawn while all you military and political people make speeches? No thanks”, you said breathlessly and jogged a little ahead of him.

He joined you immediately, huffing and puffing, “First of all.” Huff. “Slow DOWN. Jesus Christ.” Huff. And he stopped while putting his hands on his knees.

“Keep up, lazy! We gotta keep THE War Machine kicking and alive, come on!”, you say while jogging backwards and smiling at him.

When you saw that he was not going to join you, you stopped and jogged over to him. “Lazy, my ass. I’m 60 years old, you little shit”, he said while looking up at you, eyes narrowed and hands still on his knees. Still huffing and puffing.

You chuckled and helped him stand up with your arm around his back and another arm holding his. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You wanna sit down? Might as well drink some water, I’m thirsty.”

He nods his head yes and both of you sit down on a nearby bench and take a breather. You’re quiet for sometime, soaking in the crisp morning air and looking at the water fountain in front of you when Rhodey speaks up.

“I know you hate these events. But, please come to this one. We have a reunion in order, anyways”, he says cheekily while looking at you with that big smile of his plastered on his face.

You turned your head to look at him and raised your eyebrow, “Reunion? With whom?”, you ask skeptically. “Please don’t say Steve Rogers, Rhodey. I swear to god, I will never step foot in this city again”, you say, irritated.

He scoffed, “Nah, don’t worry. That’s never happening. It’s Sam. He’s been telling me that he wants to meet you.”

You observed his face for a second to see if he was being serious. “Sam? Sam Wilson? Why would he want to meet me?”, you asked, confused. Ever since the Sokovia Accords were brought into existence and ever since you sided with your father, Steve and the others didn’t want anything to do with your family. But you didn’t have anything against any of them— well, except for Steve. That was personal.

Even back then, you told your dad that you thought Bucky was innocent and that you want him to forgive Bucky somehow. You never met your grandparents so their accident/murder didn’t affect you. And you especially didn’t give a fuck about your deadbeat grandfather who would abuse your dad, but you felt your dad’s anger was justified as he loved his mom. You didn’t have an issue with Sam either. Not even when Rhodey met with that fatal accident that made him lose his legs. You saw the footage, and Rhodey told you as well, that Sam simply dodged. He didn’t cause the fall, nor did he injure him on purpose. The fall happened because his suit malfunctioned. But since Steve was the glue that was holding them together, they avoided talking to you at all. They were simply being loyal. And we all know how Steve Rogers thanked their loyalty in the end.

You would never forgive him for breaking your dysfunctional-found-family apart by being a selfish asshole and by abandoning your dad when he needed his support the most.

Rhodey shrugged. “Dunno. But he was looking forward to meeting you. He’s the kindest man I know, kid. And I know you don’t hold a grudge against him either. Please, come with me. I promise we will go get some ice cream later”, he said earnestly and smiled.

You let out a deep sigh. “Chocolate chips. Double scoop”, you said and lifted your water bottle to drink to avoid looking at his smug expression.

“Oh, you shall get anything you ask for, your highness”, he said while extravagantly bowing at you.

You just smirked and got back up to jog.

The constant clicking of the cameras was quickly causing a throbbing ache to appear behind your eyes. You were dressed in your formal clothes, presentable as always, and entered the museum arm-in-arm with Rhodey.

After giving a thousand repetitive interviews, half of which Rhodey denied on your behalf, you finally saw the man in question—Sam Wilson. Captain America.

Honestly, you were so proud of and excited for him to take up the mantle. It wasn’t a shock that Steve handed over that shield to Sam. He deserved it.

He saw the two of you and came over to talk. As he came closer, you saw just how shocked he was to see you there.

“Whats up, man? How are you?”, Sam said while shaking hands with Rhodey and bringing him in for a hug, all the while flashing his lovely, tooth-gaped smile.

Rhodey patted his back and broke away from the hug. “The usual. I got a surprise for you”, Rhodey said while putting an arm around your shoulder.

Sam, still surprised, flashed another one of his smiles at you.

“I just can’t believe you’re here. I hope you know how grateful I am”, he said earnestly while putting his hand out to shake yours.

You looked at his hand and shook it. “I’m surprised you wanted to meet me”, you say while smirking at him.

His smile faded after hearing that and he looked at you with a solemn expression.

“Yeah. I’m sorry it took me so long. I-” “Mr. Wilson, it’s your turn to speak.” Sam looked back at the woman and nodded his head at her.

“Uh…I’ll catch up with you after all this is done. Please wait until then?”, Sam turned around and asked you, nervously.

Rhodey looked at you to decipher your reaction. “Okay. I’ll wait. But not for long and not in front of these cameras”, you say coolly.

Sam smiles at you and Rhodey before approaching the stage.

“See? That wasn’t so bad”, Rhodey says while leading you to sit at the front row.

“We’ll see about that— not the front row, Rhodes... It’s like you want me to run away”, you groaned while slowing your pace.

Rhodey just laughs and pats your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll be next to you the whole time. You can even crush my hand if you want to.”

You and Rhodey sat down and watched Sam approach the stage.

Sam looked sharp in his well-fitted suit but something about his expression screamed anxiety.

He began his speech.

“Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically”, everyone chuckled at that. You scoffed.

“The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols...are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning. And this thing...”, he chuckles before picking up the shield and continuing.

“I don't know if there's ever been a greater symbol. But it's more about the man who propped it up, and he's gone. So, today we honor Steve's legacy. But also, we look to the future. So, thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you”, Sam concluded and handed over the shield to the museum security who then put encased it in a glass case. The camera flashes went off.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You knew something was wrong the moment Sam stepped up on the stage. Your mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

You furrowed your eyebrows and turned your head to look at Rhodey.

“Why did he give up the shield?”, you asked confused.

Rhodey solemnly smiled.

“Maybe try talking to Sam about this?”, he explained to you, gently.

You nodded your head in understanding.

Rhodey went over to talk to Sam while you checked out the other exhibits to give them a little privacy.

You ended up looking at Bucky’s exhibit.

They were displaying those clips of him in the 40s, smiling and free of all the pain, and they made your heart clench in sadness and guilt. He deserved better.

“Still can’t believe bionic staring machine was a heartbreaker back then”, you heard Sam’s voice behind you.

You looked at him and smirked.

“As if he’s not a heartbreaker anymore. Those baby blue’s? Could break a grandma’s heart too, which is funny because he would still be older than her”, you joked and looked back at the display.

Sam stood to your right with his hands in his pockets. He laughed at your joke and looked up at the TV displaying Steve and Bucky together.

He let out a sigh and brought his lips together in a thin line.

You looked over to him and studied his profile observed the way he carried tension in his shoulders.

“Penny for your thoughts?”, you asked him gently.

He shut his eyes and looked down, letting out another deep sigh.

“Kid…I’m sorry”, he said, his voice heavy with guilt.

You furrowed your brows.

“For what?”, you asked, genuinely confused.

Sam finally looked up at you with teary eyes. His brows scrunched together.

“Everything. The accords…Rhodey’s acci- injuries. For-for not making an attempt to maintain contact with you, for-”

“Hey. Don’t. I’m not angry about any of that. I never was. And I will never hold a grudge against anyone that wasn’t on my da- on our side”, you cut him off and explained to him firmly. “And if Rhodey isn’t upset about his accident, then who am I to question it? I know you didn’t dodge. It was an accident. I saw the footage way back then, Sam”, you laid your hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

He was overcome with emotion. He deflated as if years’ worth of weight on his shoulders had been lifted off of him. He simply nodded his head.

“If anything, I’m sorry. For everything you had to go through. I hope you’re doing better, now”, you continued.

Sam gave you a half smile.

“Yeah, I’m good. Helpin’ out my sister with the house and my nephews.”

You raised your eyebrows, surprised. You didn’t know he had a sister or nephews.

Sam chuckled. “Yeah…I got a younger sister and 2 nephews— AJ and Cass.”

You smiled. “I had no idea. I’m glad you guys can live together again”, you replied sincerely.

“Thank you, kid. I had no idea you’re so….nice”, he smirked.

You let out a loud laugh. Contrary to popular belief and rumours, you were a good and polite kid. Your dad, Pepper, Rhodey and Happy made sure of that. It was always funny to find out how people would judge you on the basis of your last name. But, it could also be because of your resting bitch face.

Both of you quieted down and looked at the display once again, when you decided to finally bring it up.

“Sam, why’d you give up the shield?”, you asked curiously.

He pursed his lips.

“That shield is heavy. And I don’t know if this country is ready to see a man like me bear the weight of it. No matter how many times everyone keeps telling me that it was Steve’s choice, they don’t know the consequences of me being Captain America until they wear my shoes. Steve didn’t know it either because at the end of the day, our skin colour doesn’t match and that isn’t suitable for the shield”, he replied heavily.

It felt like someone had put cold water on top of you, his words cutting straight through your ignorance. The pressure that Sam was undergoing would never be understood by anyone who didn’t look like him. That’s why Rhodey was so understanding of his decision.

You straightened up.

“Oh. Sam, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”, you paused to gather your thoughts and word them carefully. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I should’ve known better. I understand. And I respect your decision”, you replied, genuine understanding dripping from your words.

Sam looked at you, surprised. He wasn’t expecting you to understand his situation.

“That’s- it’s..alright kid. Thank you for understanding me. It means a lot”, he replied sincerely and patted your shoulder.

You were about to take his leave when he spoke up.

“Listen, I got a proposal for you.”

You quirked an eyebrow.

“Just…hear me out, okay? Rhodey told me to keep an eye out for you whenever he’s busy. Says you do well with discipline in your routine. If you don’t mind, you could join me and help me out with the tech stuff, you know?”, he said hesitantly.

You were about to deny his offer when he put his hands out in a placating gesture.

“I know, it’s been a long time. You’re not interested in this stuff anymore. But I could use some extra hands and who better than a Stark to help out with technology, right? And, who knows, maybe you’ll make a friend”, he tried to convince you.

“A friend? You think I’m some loner or what, Wilson? (You kind of were, a loner, but we will ignore that.) And just who is this friend?”, you asked him with narrowed eyes.

“He’s my new team member. A tech savvy nerd, like you. You’ll get along, trust me. Except I’ll warn you, that boy yaps a Lot”, Sam replied while chuckling.

That sounded way too familiar to you. You immediately froze and just stared at Sam, lost in thought. All those unwanted and painful memories were coming back to you.

Sam put his hand on your shoulder and you snapped out of your stupor.

“You don’t have to answer me immediately. Take your time, the offer is always open for you. Okay?”, he asked hopefully, ever the optimistic counselor.

You let out a big sigh.

“I don’t know. I’ll see”, you murmured. You could feel that uneasy feeling creep up your veins that told you to shut down, keep everyone away and to run somewhere far away where you could be isolated in peace.

You were finally feeling comfortable in your little bubble that consisted of you, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy and Morgan. Now you had to go out and make yourself accommodating and welcoming again. You had to repeat everything and start from scratch. It was a lot. You were not ready for that.

Healing is never linear, you knew that. But you were doing so well for the past two months. You clenched your fists and begged your mind to keep it together. You were pretty good at masking it.

Sam just nodded his head and patted your arm.

“Come on, I’ll walk you and Rhodey off.”

You both returned to Rhodey and said your goodbyes.

“See ya, old man. Take care of yo’self, alright?”, Sam said while hugging Rhodey.

“You too, Wilson”, Rhodey said before breaking the hug and patting Sam’s back.

“I’m proud of you, Sam. Never forget that”, Rhodey said gently.

Sam just smiled weakly and patted Rhodey’s shoulder before turning to look at you.

You looked at him and gave him a barely there smile before surprising him with a hug. You don’t know what came over you but you just wanted him to know that you appreciated his support and the conversation that you two had back there. Your words failed you, so you did the next best thing you knew– a hug.

He looked at Rhodey over your shoulder and patted your back like an older brother.

“Take care, kid. Think about what I said”, he said after breaking off the hug.

You simply nodded your head yes.

“And both of you are invited to the family cookout, alright? Rhodes, make sure you bring them with you. Sarah makes a mean cornbread”, Sam says while pointing at you.

Rhodey chuckles and you grin before departing.

You sat in the car and looked out of the window, deep in thought. You were processing your conversation with Sam and debating whether you should join him, or not. You couldn’t help but keep thinking about this friend that he mentioned and how he reminded you too much of-

“Whatcha thinkin’?”, Rhodey asked lightly, as if to not startle you.

You glanced back at him and turned your attention to the front of the car. You sighed softly.

“Had a good chat with Sam. We apologised to each other and sorted out our misconceptions.”

“That’s good, right?”, Rhodey asked and tilted his head to look at you.

You nodded. “Yeah. It was really nice to clear all of that up. He’s so…lovely to talk to. We also talked about his decision to give up the shield. I felt so stupid when he explained it to me. How could I not understand that beforehand?”, you said while clenching your jaw, feeling guilty for judging his decision.

Rhodey gave you a soft smile.

“Atleast you’re self-aware, sweetheart”, he said lightly.

You finally gave him a smile.

“Yeah. He also gave me an offer. To join him”, you said hesitantly.

Rhodey smirked knowingly. Sam had already discussed this with him.

“And? What’re you thinking?”, Rhodey asked nonchalantly so as to not freak you out.

You let out a deep breath.

“I don’t know. I’ll think over it”, you replied with finality in your tone.

Rhodey felt the walls build up again so he backed off instead of pestering you to talk more.

“That’s okay. You can take all the time you want, kid. There’s no rush”, Rhodey said sincerely.

You looked at him and squeezed his hand.

“Shall we go get that ice-cream now, your highness?”, Rhodey joked.

You finally let out a chuckle and nodded your head yes before turning your attention back towards the window. You let out a sigh.

You were not going to get any sleep tonight.

Part 2

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AN: Whew. This was so LONG, I’m so sorry. 😭🙏 but I just couldn’t stop writing because I love me a stark!reader as that’s literally me but also I needed some found family content + closure between the stark family and the cap fam, too. Which is why I had to break it in 2 parts. Our lovebirds will meet in the 2nd part. Keep guessing the references and this mystery person until then.😛 thank you for reading!

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etheriaaly · 1 month ago

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Haunted | Avengers x Reader

ANGST, FLUFF

Avengers x Reader (Platonic), Peter Parker x Reader (soon)

WARNINGS: Character death, cursing, stages of grief

Reader pronouns: They/them [GN! Reader]

Summary: Reader is a young 15 year old Avenger who has the powers and ability to reverse/rewind time. They saved countless lives using their time-rewinding powers but sadly, they were not able to turn back time before they died. Months later, a new Avenger recruit named Peter Parker came into view. Since he’s the youngest of them all, he was super protected and cared for by the Avengers, not wanting another death to come. Through an accident, Peter was able to see the ghost of [Y/N].

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ | ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

—

“Come on, Mr. Stark, pleaseeeeee.” [Y/N] pleaded as they kept trailing behind Tony like a lost puppy.

“Get lost, kid,” Tony waved his hand in the air, walking towards the main lounge of the tower. “Also, didn’t I tell you to not call me Mr. Stark anymore?”

“[Y/N] bothering you again?” Steve asked, not looking up from the newspaper he’s reading. He’s sitting on the couch while Sam and Bucky are sitting near him and having their own little fight.

“Mx. [L/N] over here won’t stop pestering me about us going on a vacation to Disneyland.”

[Y/N] said, “We’ve been doing countless missions every day, saving the world, kicking Hydra’s ass. The Avengers definitely deserves a vacation break.”

“Did someone say vacation?” Pietro suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the main lounge using his speed powers. “I’m up for that.”

[Y/N] grinned and placed their arms around Pietro’s shoulders, “See? Even speedster over here wants a vacation. Come on, Tony, I know everyone secretly wants a vacation.”

A few minutes later, Vision, Wanda, Rhodey, Bruce and Natasha arrived at the main lounge. “What are you guys talking about?” Wanda asked.

Thor answered Wanda’s question, “The young one wants a vacation.”

Tony groaned and crashed into a nearby couch.

“[Y/N] is right, Stark. Most of us could really use a vacation here.” Bucky called out. Soon, everyone is now staring at Tony, pleading for a vacation that he will pay for.

“Fine-” Before the billionaire finish his sentence, everyone cheered. Their little celebration about the upcoming vacation was halted when their red mission alarm in the Tower was activated.

“Another mission? Seriously?” [Y/N] grunted as they all hurriedly prepared for their sudden mission.

"That's the life of being an Avenger, kid."

"Hey, I'm not complaining.” [Y/N] shrugged.

Once they finished mini preparing for their sudden mission, they all ran towards the Quinjet and went inside. It was a bit quiet until Steve spoke up. His hands on the tablet.

He read aloud what was written on the mission file, “Fury said they found out another building of Hydra’s. We must sweep everything and find out if they have been keeping any information in there.

[Y/N] checked the time in their left wrist watch, 2:45 PM. ‘It’s already been 5 minutes since we’re in this Quinjet?’ They mentally asked themselves, a bit forgetting that Wanda can hear other people’s thoughts or read minds.

‘Don’t worry. Hopefully, this mission will be quick and we’re all just gonna chill in the living room.’ Wanda replied to her thoughts. The two of them gave each other a smile.

“About the vacation-” Pietro suddenly mentioned. Tony groaned while others broke out into laughter. “I’m serious!” He put his hands up the air in defense then laughs as well. “When will we schedule it? I do hope it’s-”

Tony cut him off, “Let’s all talk about it later. Right after this mission. Only IF everyone get’s out alive.”

“Ha-ha, Mr. Billionaire,” [Y/N] said, then giving him a smug look. “Did you forget you literally have a human time machine right here? If anyone dies later, I could just rewind and POOF! We’re all safe and sound.”

“We’re all gonna go back to the tower alive and in one piece.” Natasha stated.

Bucky joined in, “Don’t be such a jinxter, Tony.”

The rest of the ride was either just goofing around, giving each other snarky comments, or Steve trying to stop them because they have a mission to focus on.

∿

Everyone had arrived at the location where Hydra was doing experiments and planning evil plans. Everyone knows the drill and the mission already, sweep off Hydra guards in every floor, get information and stop the evil works.

They’re all divided into 2 pairs per floor level. The Hydra building consists of 5 floors. Steve and Natasha on the first; Tony and Rhodey on the second; Thor and Bucky on the third; Pietro and Clint on the fourth; and Wanda and [Y/N] on the fifth floor. Sam volunteered to check the entire building perimeters outside because he wants to have a “bird’s eye view”.

Meanwhile, Vision is just helping everyone by phasing through the floors back and forth. Then, Bruce is just at the Quinjet, waiting for everyone just in case they need the Hulk for later. Well, he mostly prefers to be there, he has some science stuff to finish anyways.

After 10 minutes of taking down Hydra guards and agents, they’re all almost done checking every room for any useful information or stuff. Wanda and [Y/N] decided to split in order to finish looking into every room as soon as possible.

[Y/N] had organized a movie night later and they want this mission to end so that they can start relaxing and hanging out. [Y/N] doesn’t have that much powers except for some enhanced agility, fast reflexes and reversing time. Although, some may confuse her reversing time powers for time travelling, both are very much different from each other.

They are about to check the last room, already assuming it’s the main room of the building due to how wide the doors are.

“Going in the last room now.” [Y/N] said as everyone had been communicating through the earpiece. “Might need backup, just in case.”

Pietro said, “We’re coming to your floor now.”

“Steve and I will catch up, there’s too many stairs.”

[Y/N] tried to break-open the big doors but was immediately cut off when Wanda effortlessly opened it with a swish of her hands. “Thanks.”

They both walked inside the room. An uneasy feeling appeared as their stomach gets twisted. Something doesn’t feel right.

Wanda was examining the other side of the room while [Y/N] ran towards the center as there is a note that was placed on the table.

They picked it up and read it out loud, “Dear Avengers, if you are reading this. You have perfectly walked into Hydra’s best trap. Tick, tick, tick. Time is running. Goodbye forever.” This immediately caught everyone’s attention.

[Y/N] was about to make a joke about the note on how amateur the note is. Like, Hydra doesn’t write those kind of notes but [Y/N] is guessing they hired a newbie to write that note. Luckily, they think it is not the best time to joke around when the building could blow up any minute now.

[Y/N]’s eyes quickly glanced the item that was beside the note and then their eyes widened. “WE HAVE TO GO NOW!”

It was a bomb. With only 10 seconds left until it explodes and destroys the entire building. They are pretty sure Hydra planted more around the area but wasn’t sure if there are more.

Wanda and [Y/N] swiftly tried to escape as Pietro appeared in front of them, ready to get everyone out safely before the bomb goes out.

They were all panicking and hurrying to get outside the building as soon as possible.

5...

“SHIT. SHIT. EVERYONE OUT.”

4...

3...

Pietro was about to grab Wanda and [Y/N] first until a random Hydra agent appeared out of nowhere, pointing a gun towards them and shot Pietro at the shoulder.

2...

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME-”

1...

The bomb went out and exploded, causing other hidden bombs around the building to slowly explode. It sounded like a loud shotgun that almost shattered [Y/N] ‘s eardrum as they are the closest person to where the bomb is.

They gave a quick glance of their left wrist watch to mentally note what time the bomb went out. This has been a thing for [Y/N] to take note of the time before and after using their rewinding time powers. 3:

“NOOO!” They shouted. They can feel themselves getting lifted up in the air as their hair levitates, getting ready for the entire body to be flown across the building floor. [Y/N] hurriedly pulled out their arms to rewind 15 minutes before it exploded. They chose 15 minutes because the Avengers have not yet arrived the Hydra area.

[Y/N] watched everything rewind but they stayed being lifted up in the air as they can still experience the exploded bomb effects. They watched their old self and Wanda examine the rooms and then slowly goes back to the staircase.

With only rewinding back to 5 minutes, they can feel themselves gradually feel tired and drained as they can only usually go back in time seconds by seconds.

But, they are determined to save their friends and family from Hydra’s unpredictable trap. Forcing themselves to go back 15 minutes. They can already feel blood coming out of their nose, this was the first time [Y/N] used their powers with great force.

Finally, they were able to rewind 15 minutes before; thus, everything goes back to normal and they immediately gets thrown off across the floor. [Y/N] groaned.

Not wanting to move for a while due to the pain of getting thrown to the ground and also because of the immense headache they are currently experiencing, they stayed lying on the floor for a short while. [Y/N] doesn't like how they have side effects of using the powers too much.

Now, they’re regretting they shouldn’t have used their powers hours ago. They used it to rewind several seconds out of pure boredom, and now they are facing the consequences of it.

Feeling heavily drained, they casually lifted up their left arm to check what time it is in their wrist watch. 3:03 PM. They all left the Tower around 2:40 PM, it was around 20 minutes of traveling from the Avengers Tower to the Hydra base that was located.

‘They should be arriving anytime soon.’ [Y/N] told themselves mentally. After resting their body on the floor for a few minutes, they managed to gain some remaining energy to stand up and walk towards the big room to diffuse the bomb.

Once they reached the main room, they grabbed unto the table for some support in case they accidentally stumble or fall.

[Y/N] stared at the ticking bomb. They have 12 minutes left until it explodes.

"What the fuck?" They muttered under their breathe. This is not a normal bomb. It's in Russian and the usual colors of green and red were replaced by pink and purple. What are they supposed to do now?

If only Natasha or Tony or Vision is here, then at least one of them can help diffuse the bomb.

[Y/N] limped around the room, looking for any sharp objects that could cut the wires. They can just rewind again if they accidentally cuts the wrong one. Well, if they can still rewind back in time.

“Fuck.” They cursed under their breath. Hydra is actually smart enough to make sure there’s no sharp objects around the room for the wires to get cut. [Y/N] then searched around her suit pockets in case they actually hid a cutter or a small knife somewhere.

Nothing. They groaned and carefully walked out of the room to find anything small or sharp in the hallways. Their eyes immediately saw the window and they smiled. They can just shoot or destroy the window and a shard of glass would be fine.

Forgetting that there are Hydra agents in the hallway, they all noticed them and went to shoot them. Before [Y/N] swiftly moved their hand, they counted how many Hydra agents were in the floor.

There are 5 agents. After [Y/N] rewinded time, they found themselves back in the room. Pulling out their gun again, they went to count how many bullets they have. 6 bullets.

‘I better not miss then.’

[Y/N] counted until 5 before they opened the door and shot all the Hydra agents carefully yet precisely. All the Hydra agents dropped dead on the floor, so much to [Y/N]'s dismay. [Y/N] never wanted to kill anyone, even if they're Hydra agents but they have no other choice as of the moment.

They aimed at the window and shot it, causing it to break. They limped towards it to grab a shard of glass. Not wanting to waste any more time, they tired to ignore the pain in their body as they sped up.

∿

Meanwhile, the Avengers are gearing up in the quinjet as they are almost near the Hydra base. Some were still joking around and throwing comments about their vacation until Wanda swiftly scanned the room.

“Where’s [Y/N]?” Wanda asked. Everyone stopped talking. They stared at the seat of the quinjet that [Y/N] was seating on just a while ago.

Natasha came into a realization ang gasped. “Something went wrong with this mission, [Y/N] rewinded.”

“Shit, shit, shit.” Tony muttered as he went to the pilot’s seat and sped up the quinjet.

This wasn't the first time that [Y/N] rewinded back in time during a mission, Natasha knew it her all too well.

They have arrived earlier than expected in the Hydra base. The Quinjet was about to land on the ground until a window from the very top of the building smashed which caught the Avenger’s attention. The moment they landed, Sam and Vision were the first to go out of the Quinjet, immediately going inside the building through the smashed broken window. Pietro swiftly went inside the building too.

The three of them went inside the room to see [Y/N] destroy a wire until it suddenly set off. [Y/N] turned back to look at them and their eyes widened, quickly pulled out their hand to rewind again.

∿

Okay, maybe the purple wire isn’t the correct one to diffuse. 'I'll try the other one.' They immediately cut off the pink one and it still exploded. Mentally groaning, they rewinded back in time for the last time.

They give up. The bomb sets off either way. And even if they want to go out of the building, they have no energy. Too tired from using her powers, too tired from the aftermath of using her powers, too tired from fighting. Too tired from everything.

[Y/N] walks towards the nearest wall and slid down, resting. They'll just hope the Avengers gets in here in time so that they can save her.

"Yeah. They'll come. Don't worry, [Y/N]." They tried to comfort themselves. There's only 3 minutes left until it sets off. Mentally pleading the Universe that the Avengers will appear to save them.

They started to sing Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon. It may sound cliché or weird but for them, singing this specific song soothes them whenever they feel alone or scared. [Y/N] feels like it helps lighten the mood.

Other than that, it's also one of the Avengers favorite songs. So, whenever the song play, [Y/N] was immediately reminded of the Avengers and they just imagine their usual reactions: random dancing around the room or unsynchronized and out of tune singing.

[Y/N] cracked a smile and closed her eyes, still singing Can't Fight This Feeling but their voice was low and raspy. "'Cause I feel so secure when we're together."

"You give my life direction. You make everything so clear."

Suddenly they heard their earpiece let out a static noises until it became clear and silent. They continued to sing lazily, "And even as I wander. I'm keeping you in sight."

"You're the candle in the window." They suddenly heard Pietro sing. Their eyes opened up as their eyes perked as if they had regained energies but they're still low battery.

"Pietro-"

Bucky joined in the singing, "On a cold, dark winter's night."

Wanda and Natasha chimed in, "And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might."

And soon, the others joined in, creating a not-so-perfect harmony but it still gives [Y/N] happiness, "And I can't fight this feeling anymore!"

Abruptly, Sam turned on the music and played the song but they all stopped singing as to let the song play.

“You guys came.”

“Of course we came Max Caulfield.” Tony remarked.

Wanda said, “We quickly noticed you used your time powers again the moment we saw that you were not in the Quinjet.”

“We’re about to reach the perimeter, now-”

“DON’T!” [Y/N] suddenly screamed, then regretting it since it just took away another energy. “It’s a trap. Hydra, I...I tried so many times already but it’s still the same outcome. Just, please...hurry. I’m scared.”

10 seconds left. "You know, Hawaii sounds like a good place for a vacation."

"We're about to land, now just hold on, [Y/N]. We're coming for you, pumpkin." Clint said as [Y/N] started to tear up. It was a random habit of Clint to call them pumpkin, [Y/N] likes to think of him as one of their fatherly figures.

5 seconds left.

“I have scanned the premises. [Y/N] is in the top floor building.” Vision stated and immediately phased out of the Quinjet and flew towards the building.

They have landed and quickly opened the door and scattered. Wanda used her powers for her to easily reach the top floor just like Vision did.

“I love you guys.”

Everyone halted as the building exploded. Their ears rang, some took cover as there would be flying debris or ashes coming towards them. Those who were near the building got thrown away as well.

Wanda landed on her back and coughed. She horridly stared at the building that her best friend was in, tears forming in her eyes.

Natasha ran up to Wanda’s side to help her up.

Wanda croaked, “We’re too late.”

∿

The Avengers just felt numbness and sadness for 6 months straight. Although some of them may not admit it, it was very well shown through their actions and how they cope.

The death really did a big impact in their lives. Especially when they're close with [Y/N]. [Y/N] was the only teen in the team that gives so much energy, life and mischief to their everyday lives.

But, now that they're gone. It seems like the light has been turned off and the energy in the compound is not the same anymore.

It's dull and quiet and no life.

Denial.

It was the first stage of grief. The death was unexpected and so sudden, it was a shock to everyone. They deny the death of the youngest Avenger. There are times one would roam the Tower and they can still feel the presence of [Y/N].

She had brought a lot of life, chaos, and happiness to the Tower that the Avengers enjoys very much.

The Avengers grieved together and then on their own. 3 weeks after the death, they held a funeral for [Y/N]. After the funeral, they all went back to the Avengers Tower in silence. They all sat down in the main lounge, comforting each other with one’s presence.

At first, it was silence. Slowly, they just randomly reminisce the memories they have with [Y/N] as if they didn’t die. It was denial once again. The Avengers cannot acknowledge the fact that [Y/N] had died, even though they just held a funeral for them hours ago.

Most of them acts like nothing happened. There would be a time where their day will continue as it normally would and they all act like as if [Y/N] is still alive.

Wanda would then be the number one person to pretend everything is fine and nothing ever happened. One specific time, Natasha passed by [Y/N]'s room and would hear Wanda talking as if she was actually talking to [Y/N].

Anger.

Oh boy, this one was the most chaotic stage that the Avengers had gone through. The Avengers did not handle this one very well. One line mistake and the entire room would be filled with angry shouts, comeback, sarcastic comments, and etc.

Small arguments and fights exists even before [Y/N] ‘s death. Though, it was a friendly argument and everyone would resolve it easily. But this one is different. Their arguments would last for days causing one or the other to not talk for a long time. Usually when things like this happen, [Y/N] would be the person to make peace.

There was a time where Steve suggested that resuming training sessions as a team would help lessen the grieving process, but boy he was wrong. The Avengers would just randomly let our their anger out of nowhere during training session, thus will cause an argument.

Anger is Hulk’s best friend. If Hulk’s anger is the worst, then you should be prepared when it comes to Hulk being angry about the death of his friend. Despite Hulk not liking most people, [Y/N] was one of the few people that Hulk actually likes besides Natasha. He thinks of her as a friend and a cool tiny human.

Everyone in the team seem to almost forgot about Bruce’s Hulk. So whenever they create a fight and Bruce gets to be a part of it, they are all doomed. Hulk was brought out and destroyed the entire floor. Thanks to Wanda, he was calmed down and prevented him from going out and wreck the city.

Bargaining.

Wanda locked herself in her room for 2 weeks straight, blaming herself and pondering about all the things she could've done using her powers to save her best friend.

Some of the Avengers grief process of bargaining was mixed up together with anger. It was not a very good match. Especially when it comes to Tony and Steve.

A simple conversation can start with coffee and end up with blaming each other and going after each other's throats.

Depression.

Vision felt like it was a need for everyone to be left one or at least talk to someone, which is a therapist. Though, one time Bucky kept ignoring his therapist's calls and messages. It may feel like such a bore or a stupid idea for others, but they all kept going to therapy sessions. It helps ease the pain.

Months after [Y/N]'s death is still painful, especially when others decided to leave the Tower and go back to their usual lives, either drowning in work or spending time with their family to somehow forget the pain they are feeling.

Thor and Loki went off-world and back to Asgard. They just simply couldn't bear the haunted memories around the Avengers Tower and New York.

Clint returned to his family in the barn, but would occasionally be visited by Natasha.

At last, acceptance. The last and foremost stage of grief that was never overcome by the Avengers. They were all stuck at a loop beginning from denial to depression and again and again and again.

Wanda indulged herself in cooking as frequently as possible but would also lock herself in her room again.

Pietro still haven't pulled pranks in a long time and he's always out and would just return at night. stopped pulling pranks around the tower.

Tony and Bruce continues overworked themselves in the lab; Steve would often get caught looking at the photos and going to museums. Natasha indulged would with more missions and returned back to Ohio to spend time with her family.

Sam offered Bucky to come with him back to his hometown and Bucky went along with him. Rhodey went back to serving the military; while Vision felt sadness too, he made sure to comfort the others as he knows how this affected everyone very much.

Some months after ignoring each other, they all decided to get back together and being away from one another actually gives more sorrow. The Avengers decided to heal together even though the wound may still be fresh. Healing takes time and a part of them knows that [Y/N] wouldn’t want them to mope around like this.

As much as they want to reach the stage of acceptance, they can't. The wound is still fresh. It will take a long time to stitch it up.

6 months had passed. Still no progress. It is still very difficult to move on. But when Tony saw a video of Spiderman in YouTube, he decided that recruiting a new Avenger the same age as [Y/N] would help heal the pain and distract them from it. Plus, he thinks the kid has potential.

Before tracking down where Spider-Man lives, Tony told everyone about it. However, some disagrees with this idea.

“And how old again is this Peter Parker person?” Sam asked.

“15.”

“You can’t be that serious, Tony. This Spider-guy is just a kid.” Steve argued.

“Oh yeah? And so was [Y/N].” Tony snapped back. "Come on, we need to give this kid a chance. Plus, they'd love to have them around."

Sam smiled. "They'd probably do. They're the same age, if they were here...they'd be best friends and partners in crime. I know it."

"This just sounds like we're replacing [Y/N]." Wanda said out loud, tears forming in her eyes. "It's just been months, it's way too early to replace her just like that, Stark."

Stark. Tony's face fell. It hasn't been a long time since Wanda called him by his last name. Well, at first they were on a last name basis until they all became close friends and decided to get rid of the last name basis and change to first name basis.

Tony replied, "No one is replacing [Y/N]. She's practically irreplaceable."

“Well, it feels like you are.” Wanda said with hurt in her voice as she stands up and leaves the room.

Pietro stands up as well and turns to Tony, “You are right -- [Y/N] is irreplaceable. But, I agree with my sister.” With that, he speeds out of the room, possibly to go after his twin.

Tony sighs. He looks around at everyone again, waiting for their replies. “Come on guys, give this kid a chance. All those in favor?” He raises his own arm.

Natasha slowly raises her hands, then Sam, then Rhodey. 4 out of 12 agrees.

“If I may,” Vision speaks up. Everyone’s attention shifted to him. “I understand that we are still in the process of grieving, and this act of letting in another teenager in the team unsettles most of us. But, I believe that we shouldn’t be consumed by our grief and continue on closing the door on anyone that may seem like a replacement for her.”

He continues, “This Peter Parker is not a replacement, no one could ever replace our beloved [Y/N]. But I think we should give this boy a chance. We all have abilities, skills, and powers that serves for the purpose of goodness and helping mankind. This kid seems to be on the same path as us. And so does, [Y/N]. I think we should give him a chance because we all know that they would too.”

Everyone was silent for now, contemplating on what Vision had just said.

They all looked at each other, eyes communicating as they finally decided.

“Okay,” Steve breaks the silence, speaking for everyone. “Let’s give this kid a chance.”

Tony grinned slightly, clasping his hands together. “I promise, you won’t regret this.”

∿

Author’s Note:

This has been on my drafts since 2021 and I finally decided to finish writing this. The remaining last part of this fic was finished by me now, but the rest were written by 15-year-old me, 4 years ago. So I’d like to apologize how badly written the death and the stages of grief was. Anyway, consider this as my somewhat comeback in writing fanfics since I haven’t been writing in so long.

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