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minhosimthings · 6 months

Text

Sample Session || 18+

Synopsis: In which you ask your boyfriend for a semen sample

Pairings: Sunghoon × fem!reader, non idol au

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, p in v sex, rough sex, overstimulation, unprotected sex (not for you at all) masturbation (male), spit as lubricant, praise, degradation, swearing, rough dom Sunghoon, sub!reader, reader wears pink lingerie, boob fixation, dirty talk eyyy, collecting semen in that tube because we medical students, mentions of Yunjin from Le Sserafim and Gaeul from IVE

A/N: this is my submission for @deluluriddhi's 500+ followers event which you can find here! Had a shit ton of fun writing this though so here you go babies!

Being a doctor has its advantages.

You get to help people, you get a shit ton of money (student debt sucks but hey), you get a hot boyfriend, you can correctly pronounce and know the meaning of choledocholithiasis.

Did I mention hot boyfriend?

Park Sunghoon. Possibly the hottest and the only surgeon-in-training you'd ever want to have inside of you all day long.

Of course the walls still speak of the times he railed you in the room where they kept the crp training dolls, but we don't speak about that anymore.

But one of the greatest advantages of having a Park Sunghoon, as you soon found out, was that he proved useful in a quest.

For a particularly awkward thing.

"Sperm samples?" Yunjin gasped, almost spilling her coffee on you, "we have to collect sperm samples?"

"For the last time, yes." Gaeul groaned, massaging her temples, Yunjin had been asking the same thing since the past hour.

"How on earth are we going to get semen samples?" Yunjin asked, turning to you for some reason.

"Alright ladies, time to seduce some men." Gaeul laughed, sipping her frappuccino.

"Y/N already seduced one." Yunjin groaned, deflating her body onto the table, "Hey, get some for us too will you?"

"Number 1, we need to have different samples, and number two how the hell am I gonna ask him?" You quizzed the girls, who looked dumbfounded.

"Maybe..you know." Yunjin began, and you realised she had the same face on as she did whenever she saw the extremely phallic design of the law building at your college, "Just do the oogey-boogey with him."

Gaeul's frappucino can spit out her nose, as she cackled loudly, garnering the attention of many people in the cafe.

"The oogey-boogey YUNJIN WHAT?" Gauel kept laughing, holding her stomach tightly, "Is that your way of saying that Y/N needs to seduce Sunghoon into somehow giving her his semen?" She said, when her laughter died down.

"Absolutely not!" You protested. The idea of seducing your boyfriend was...nice to think of but to actually have a practical session? You would have rather jumped off a cliff.

"Just ask him today, we have a holiday tomorrow, so incase the oogey-boogey indeed does oogey-boogey you have semen! Simple."

Gaeul's frappucino was subjected to being ejected out of her nose again, as she rolled over in fits of laughter.

This wasn't you.

This definetly wasn't you, Sunghoon thought.

His mind was racing at a hundred kilometres per the second, and his bag full of pastries for you was abandoned on the floor as soon as he saw what lay in front of him.

A reward for his hard work today? The thought of what he had done to deserve you was running a lap through his brain. You, in your pretty pink lace, with white trimmings, and pearls on your neck, the ones he bought you of course.

"Well hello there, gorgeous." He said, grabbing your waist in his arms, as he always did when he got back home. But this time, with a different purpose.

"All dressed up for me today?" He quizzed you, placing a kiss at the nape of your neck. It was pathetic how much the simple action made your hole so wet.

Sunghoon toyed with the pretty pink lace of your bra, kissing up and down your collarbone. God had you changed your perfume? It seemed so intoxicating to him. Your hands came to rest on his shoulder, as you nibbled the tip of his ear a bit, which made his dick throb inside his pants.

"Come on." He mumbled through his kisses, lifting you into his arms, making you wrap your legs around his waist, which you did promptly.

The one thing that Sunghoon would have never expected was the various medical equipment that lay on your bed.

"Y/N." He glanced at you suspiciously, putting you down on your feet, "what's all this?"

You awkwardly cleared your throat and rushed over to the bed, picking up a tiny test tube and shoving it in your boyfriend's hands.

"Alright so I have an assignment and I need your help." You said, a bit more seriously than you had wanted to.

"Do you need me to get you pregnant or something?" Sunghoon chuckled, his eyes darkening, "Cause I won't say no."

"Actually it's not that."

"Then what is it, princess?"

"Canihaveyoursemensampleplease." You mumbled, or more properly, to say, rapped.

"Y/N, proper sentences please?"

Sighing heavily to yourself, you gulped and wrapped your arms around Sunghoon again, pressing a chaste, sweet kiss to his pink lips.

"I need a semen sample for an assignment." You mumbled into his ear, albeit a but louder this time. Sunghoon smirked into your neck.

"That's it?" He asked, a cocky smile spreading on his face. His baby, needs a sample from him? He thought it was the most adorable thing ever.

"Yeah...it's fine if you say no though!" You panicked, looking at him with widened eyes. But Sunghoon only chuckled again and raised your chin to his level with his finger.

"How could I say no when you're asking so nicely?" He said, guiding you over to the bed. Kicking off his shoes, Sunghoon settled in nicely between the sheets, while you awkwardly sat at the edge, handing the tube to him.

"Don't want to join me baby?" Sunghoon asked, taking off his belt and his trousers, and pulling you in for a sudden kiss, by grabbing your face with his hands.

"You're a medical student too Hoon, you know I can't." You rolled your eyes at him.

"Alright, but do me a favour. Hold the tube in place for me will you?" He handed the tube back to you, and you bit your lip. Holding it in place. In other words, bending over to make Hoon see your cleavage.

"If that's what'll get you off, then fine." You grumbled, although your panties were getting wetter by the second at the idea.

Sunghoon leaned against the bedframe, relaxing into the sheets, holding his throbbing cock with one hand. He began to jerk off hard, his hand rising to the tip of the cock, where more fat drops of precum accumulate, feeling the alcohol of your perfume take over the body,

"that what you want, princess?” he spits on his cock and starts jerking off again while he speaks his hand doesn't stop, slow movements, up and down as if he wanted to feel the familiar sensation of your walls clenched around him. He could feel a knot forming in his stomach, at the sight of seeing your tits, lined perfectly in your lingerie. The sight of it made him go mental.

His hand never abandons his cock, squeezing, going up and down without losing rhythm. Sunghoon began to feel signs of orgasm so he reduced the speed of his hand, waiting for what will come next.

Sunghoon thinks while squeezing his cock tightly, holding by the base his fingers massage the balls, he climbs his hand slowly and passes his thumb over the head of the cock dripping precum, spreading and with his eyes glazed, little moans escaping his lips. Sunghoon sits more centered on the bed, drops of sweat run down his hair, dripping and turning a trail around his neck, chest and belly, his body is so sensitive to touch that the drops of water seem to scratch while the sheets seem to hug him.

"Fuck—im close." He whimpered, eyes rolling back as the knot in his stomach broke and the next moment, his hand was drenched in cum, and you were holding a test tube filled with what you needed.

"Shit" Sunghoon fell back on the bed, while you happily inserted the semen into your carrier so that it stayed safe. You crawled promptly into the bed with him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you so much Hoonie, I had no idea how I was going to get the-"

"What about my payment princess?" Sunghoon's whispered growl in your ear left you crumbling.

His touch left your skin burning in desire for more and before you could even catch a breath his hands grabbed your legs and you find yourself wrapped around his waist. Your hair was soft between his fingers and as he gently pulled it, you let out a little groan.

"Hoonie–" you whimpered, feeling a blush creep up to your cheeks.

He loved seeing you like that, confused, embarrassed, submissive, and highly aroused. Holding your gaze for another moment, he rubbed his hand over your wet folds, gathering your slick on his palm. When he finally bent a finger and slipped it between your lower lips, he watched you closely, and as a soft squelching sound rang in his ears, he saw you writhing in discomfort, frowning slightly, but it made him smile at you, and your embarrassment was quickly forgotten.

Holding your waist firmly, Sunghoon flipped you over onto the bed with a rough thump, making you moan at the very sensation of his biceps touching your body.

"So wet for me already?" Sunghoon chuckled, removing your panties slowly, "You're so adorable."

"Shut up." You groaned, feeling embarrased again, "Hoonie, we ran out of condoms, maybe we should-"

"You're on birth control right?" Sunghoon pressed a kiss to your neck, making you mewl when his tip slightly touched your pussy, "You're not leaving this bed until the sheets are either drenched or until you've fainted."

His voice was rough as he lined himself up with your entrance as you panted in anticipation, fingers digging into his back when he finally entered you, moaning deeply at the feeling of your walls starting to clench around him.

The stretch when he enters you burns gloriously, your mouth falling open in a perfect, round ‘O’ of ecstasy. Sunghoon fills you slowly, burying himself to the hilt, so deep that you can practically feel him rearranging your insides.

“That’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.” he praises.

Discomposed, his voice thickens, rounding the vowels and blurring the ends of his words. Sunghoon rocks his hips one shallow thrust striking a spot inside you that has your vision whiting out, ecstasy buzzing in your heavy limbs.

“That felt good, huh? Yeah. I know, I know,” he soothes, swallowing your whines with wet, deliberate kisses, tongue sweeping every corner of your mouth and teeth grazing your lips.

Your noises grew louder, as did the wet squelching sounds as your pussy fluttered around him, muscles clenching, a burning warmth gathering inside you. You sank your nails into the old wood, holding on for dear life as his pelvis smacked against your cushioned ass in quick succession.

“Can’t you handle it, baby?” Sunghoon looked at you with pity, "Is it too much for your pathetic pussy?"

“I can-fuck, I can—handle it.” you whimpered. You clearly, could not handle it.

His own grunts filled your ears, adding to the tension building up in your belly, those deep vibrations pushing you right over the edge.

"Hoon-I—ah FUCK!"

You cried out when your walls clamped around him, that tight coil within exploding into a thousand tiny lights that made your entire body convulse against him. He felt your orgasmic contractions, and despite the soreness in his leg, he kept fucking you through your release, your juices helping in easing your tight passage, but he still strained to keep his rhythm. His fingers dug into your soft skin, and he felt a bead of sweat running along his temple.

That unlocked something inside of him. While he still held you, leaving sloppy kisses on your neck, your shoulders, anywhere he could reach, he slammed into you, forcing your small body to jerk in his arms with each thrust. He grunted and moaned, nearly panting, as he crammed himself inside of you.

It doesn’t take long for your next orgasm to build up, releasing it with a silent cry as you unintentionally dig your fingers into Sunghoon's back causing him to groan in your ear in pleasure. He keeps his thrusts consistent as you begin to leak around his cock and onto the blanket beneath you. There’s no doubt you’ll have to change the bedding later.

All you could do was bury your head in his chest until with one more thrust, he pushed into you, unloading pump after pump of cum. Afterwards, he slumped down, slowly dragging his cock out of your stuffed cunt, leaving you empty and internally screaming at the intoxication of the burn.

"Shit-" Sunghoon plopped down on the bed, next to you. Both of your chests rose and fell in unison, as you managed to steeply catch your breath.

A moment of calm silence arose before-

"Does your professor need any more sampler or...?" Sunghoon asked, eliciting a laugh out of you.

"Nope, just the one." You chuckled at his unseriousness as he pulled you in for cuddles.

"You're changing the sheets this time Hoon."

"Damn it."

Bonus

"So you did the oogey-boogey with him?"

"Yunjin!"

2K notes · View notes

newtkive · 8 months

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shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

1K notes · View notes

bitterkarella · 2 months

Text

Midnight Pals: The Monkey's Paw

WW Jacobs: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the monkey's paw Jacobs: it's about a monkey paw that grants wishes King: sounds great! Jacobs: no it's not Jacobs: it's really bad actually

Jacobs: see, the thing is the monkey's paw grants wishes IRONICALLY Jacobs: like a real asshole genie or something

Jacobs: there's this british couple and they use it to wish for money, but then their son dies in a horrible industrial accident and they get the insurance money Jacobs: and then they wish he was still alive Jacobs: but he comes back all fucked up

Jacobs: so they use their last wish to wish he was dead again Koontz: why didn't they just wish that he was back just the same as when he was alive? Barker: yeeeah Barker: dean's got a point Barker: yeah why DIDN'T they?

Jacobs: that's not the way it works Jacobs: you can't just trick a monkey's paw King: i don't know, i think they're on to something King: it's really just a problem with not being specific enough, isn't it? King: like if you just worded it right Jacobs: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS

Jacobs: you can't trick a monkey's paw! Barker: why not? i'm smarter than a monkey Poe: can we please stop talking about monkeys Barker: oh i forgot, edgar's afraid of monkeys Poe: I am NOT afraid of monkeys Barker: sorry, i meant apes Poe: I'm not afraid of apes either!!

King: you know what this reminds me of? my favorite cormoran strike book. have you guys read any cormoran strike? Barker: oh jesus here we go again Barker: i WISH something would free me from listening to this again! Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy stephano king! Barker:

Musk: eyyyy stephano king mi amigo ey? King: we're not friends elon Musk: si si musk and king, we-a real bambinos ey! King: don't you have some kids to raise or something, elon? Musk: MY KID ISSA DEAD Musk: THATA MEANS YOU ALLA HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME

Musk: my kid issa dead Barker: that's not what i hear, she's roasting your ass on threads Musk: mama mia! Barker: and turns out she's really good at posting Barker: are you sure she's actually YOUR kid? King: she must take after her mother

Musk: mama mia they trick me into signing consent form for puberty blockers!!! Barker: how do they trick you into signing a consent form Musk: Barker: do you not have reading comprehension? Musk: they hide it in a big pile of ketamine! Musk: itsa no fair!

Musk: eyyy why my kid no like-a me? Barker: is it because you're an absentee father who turned twitter into a chud echo chamber specifically to bully her? Musk: Musk: no Musk: issa because da woke mind virus Musk: ima da smartest man inna da world!

Musk: why you no like me? issa cuz you all gotta da woke mind virus? Poe: elon calm down Barker: yes elon that's right, everything's the woke mind virus Poe: don't say that clive, you're going to get him riled up Musk: mama mia!!!

Musk: i never stop fighting da woke mind virus! Musk: ima da smartest man inna da world! [immediately smashes into the side of a cliff painted to look like a tunnel]

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #stephen king #clive barker #edgar allan poe #dean koontz #ww jacobs #elon musk

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mothwingwritings · 11 months

Note

C and F for my boy Pickle

Eyyy sorry for the delay! (Yes I am still working on these!!!) Here is some Pickle goodness for you my dear.~<3

WARNINGS: Sex and violence and one love sick feral man.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Pickle would honestly treat you as nicely as he is able too. His living environment has its limitations, but he does everything he can to make it comfortable and inviting for you, adamant about making it a home that is fitting of his mate.

Once you are safely stashed away in his secret abode he sets to work constructing you a nest of things so that you may find pinnacle contentment in your new home. He’s gathered an amalgamation of the softest blankets, clothes, linen, etc. that has been given to him or that he has scavenged, so that you may rest in peace and luxury while in his presence. He also brings you the best cuts of meat after his hunts, though he caught on quickly that you were apt to turn your nose at his bloody, raw offering (he couldn’t quite understand why, he was sure you would love it if you just gave it a chance). Once he picks up on your distaste, he instead begins to hoard ingredients and snacks he steals picks up out in the world, supplying you all manner of foodstuff till he pins down the ones you like.

While Pickle prefers you in your natural state, he understands your body needs protection from the elements. He doesn’t quite get modern fashion, but you seem sad wearing the same thing over and over again. While he’s out he procures a hodge-podge of varying clothing, presenting it to you by dumping it at your feet, a huge dopey grin on his face. He loves seeing you in the clothing he gifts you, you look so beautiful in each and every piece that he can’t help but stare, holding back the urge to rip it right back off and have his way with you.

Pickle won’t mock you and wouldn’t dream of disrespecting you in anyway. Any harm he causes you is either completely unintentional or for your own good. He loses control of himself sometimes, forgetting his own strength. You are just so small and he loves you so much, it’s hard to hold himself back. He hates using his strength against you to prove a point, but if you remain insistent on trying to escape him he will do what he must to protect you. You are HIS mate and HE’S the only one who can take care of you. All that’s waiting for you in this strange new world is danger, so if you won’t stay by his side willingly, he will force you there.

All that said, while you may be relatively safe from Pickle’s more violent tendencies, anyone else most certainly is NOT. If another person approaches you, threatens you, or tries to take you away from him they will be obliterated, decimated, ripped to shreds, torn apart until nothing is left. He’ll bask in the gruesome slaughter, their end another validation that he is the best one for you, the one who loves and can protect you above all others. Doesn’t matter if that person is a stranger or your own mother-he is all you need, anyone else butting in is an unnecessary threat.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He would find it incredibly charming if you tried to fight him. Pickle doesn’t see it as an act of aggression at all, but views it as you trying to mimic him as a sign of reverence. You think he is so impressive and strong that you strive to be like him, going so far as to challenge him to a fight. It’s adorable, and he can’t help but break out into a huge toothy grin when he sees you assume a fighting stance.

And it excites him- seeing you tense up, clenching your fists and bending your knees, preparing to strike at a moment’s notice. Seconds before the fray, you stare him down with such intensity, sizing him up and calculating what moves you should make against him, gears turning in your head as you focus wholly on him. The fixation on him sends a shiver of anticipation down his spine. He is the only one you are thinking of in that moment, and in turn you are all that is occupying his thoughts.

Your strikes never hurt him and he can tell how much that frustrates you. He’ll play along sometimes to make you happy, yowling like a mother lioness that is being batted by her cub. He’ll cringe at your punch, shy away from your kick. If he’s convincing enough, you sometimes award him with a small smile, a brief look of accomplishment. It warms his heart, knowing you are having as good of a time as he is.

He also relishes the closeness the two of you share when you initiate these little fights. Usually you try and hide away from him, distancing yourself as much as possible whenever he is in the vicinity. At first he thought it was another game you were trying to play with him, something coy, cute, and seductive to grab his attention. But when the chase became a regular thing he was disappointed, why did you put up such a fuss each time your mate tried to approach you? You didn’t even give him a prize when he finally caught you, just flailing and screaming and spitting. It hurt his feelings- this was supposed to be fun.

But the little brawls you had were fun, and they gave him a chance to have you near him without any to-do. He could feel your skin on his, smell your sweat as your body writhed and wriggled against his. Feeling your small hands grab at his hulking form, listening to your strained moans and heavy breathing as you threw your all into attacking him… Witnessing you in such a state, holding you close as your body rubbed his in just the right way, it doesn’t take long for him to completely lose control.

Before you can recognize what is going on, your body is sheathing his cock, previous grunts of exertion quickly turning into wails of pleasure.

He doesn’t understand why you cry so much afterwards, though. Were you not having as much fun as he was? You initiated the fight, why are you so upset at the outcome? It was a good tussle, and judging by the noises you were making, he was able to make you feel good. Even if you struggled a bit when he was trying to enter you, you always end up yielding to him. The fit is tight, and there have been several times he was afraid he would outright break you when he pushed deeper, pressing into your core. But the pleasure that courses through him as he bottoms out is indescribable. He loses himself in the feel of you surrounding him, completely consumed by the euphoria your body has supplied him.

You are his perfect mate, his brave little warrior, and his love for you is endless. So don’t cry, OK? Maybe next time he’ll let you really ‘win.’ :)

576 notes · View notes

wolvieswhiskeyclaws · 6 months

Note

Could I have a John x fem reader where the reader reacts to John winning (but still beat tf up) in a bar fight?

Thanks bestie <3

Eyyy of COURSE you can bestie?! I have been practicing writing John, and I may not be the best, but I think I'm confident in my abilities. I think. But here, have a fun, flirty little brawl with your man~

"Trouble" ||

John Marston x f!Reader

Length: 2.1k

Rating: Mature: Mentions of blood, fighting, language

How John ended up in this situation was honestly beyond him, it was just an innocent outing with you and him running some errands for the ranch, and yet he was getting fist after fist pounded into his face.

After a long day of working, you could tell he was going stir-crazy. His old life was all about freedom and running around, doing things to bring in money or just getting to do as he pleased, but now? He was on a ranch, pretending to be someone he wasn’t to get by, and his trigger finger was beginning to itch. But to make you happy, to keep your heads low, and to survive, John had to behave and live as his persona for the time being.

“So, Jim,” you said with a smirk, “maybe we should stop at a saloon since it’s getting dark, we could eat a decent meal, maybe stay in a hotel for the night. I’m tired,” you sighed and leaned your head against the man’s shoulder.

John matched your sigh and flicked the reigns on the horses as he pulled them to the right, heading into Valentine's territory, which he hadn’t expected to be back here so soon. “I mean, it is a long way back, we could use the rest. And I am starvin’, could use something that isn’t a stew for once.”

You both pulled the wagon off and made sure the horses were comfortable, hitched to a nearby post, and then John helped you down to the ground and smiled wide with his arm wrapped around your waist. “Well, let’s get inside, maybe we can get a bath before bed, too,” he said softly with a smirk. He pulled you along and walked beside you, looking around the town that felt so different from when he was last here.

As you both entered the saloon, you definitely could tell that the environment was more lively, but you both tried to keep your wits about you as you ordered some food and sat in the corner, away from the rowdy group of people. The food was delicious and the conversation you shared was pleasant, as usual, but John couldn't shake the feeling that eyes kept falling on you both. He'd look away from you as he stopped mid-sentence to see one of the men staring at the both of you, but he tried to pay no mind, you were taking his attention.

The food was finished and you both were feeling content, the party of people in the saloon only grew larger in number and louder in volume, so you both figured it was time to head out to the hotel for the evening. John allowed you to walk out first so he could follow behind you, but you had barely gotten several steps toward the door when one of the men stepped in front of your path, blocking you from the exit.

“Hey there now, y'all ain't plannin’ on comin’ over to celebrate with us?”

“Sorry, friend, but we have other plans to attend to,” John answered firmly.

The man just scoffed, the reek of booze was strong on his breath, it was a wonder he was still standing. “Aww c'mon, my friend over there is gettin’ married, you could have one drink to congratulate him!”

“Sorry sir, but we don't even know you,” you said sharply, stepping back from him, and bumping into John. You felt a bit more at ease since he was here.

“And? You ain't heard of makin’ friends?” The man chuckled and grabbed your arm, pulling you along toward the table. He then decided to yank your arm and attempt to pull you over toward the table, but John stepped up and grabbed his wrist hard.

“We ain't interested, sir. My woman and I are heading out for the evenin’, so maybe next time you should use your brain and not touch a lady when she says no.”

John pushed the man away so you both had room to leave, but some of the drunk’s friends decided to get involved.

John stepped up protectively, his spine stiffened as his hand hovered over the knife that was holstered, hidden beneath his jacket. “Sir, you got till the count of three to back off and leave us alone,” he warned.

There had been a taller man who stood up from the table and interjected, pushing his friend gently off to the side. “Are you threatenin’ us?” He snapped.

“I ‘spose I am,” John retorted, holding his ground as he pushed you further behind him to shield you.

Another of the man's friends stepped up and tried to land a surprise swing on John, but he pushed you out of the way and took the hook to his shoulder. After that, John was brawling with several of the men who ganged up on you both. The one in the red shirt had tried to grab John to put him in a headlock so his friends could take their turns wailing on him, but your John was fast. He elbowed Red and kicked his leg in, causing the man to fall flat on his face.

That was one down—three more to go.

“I ain’t been in a bar fight in a long time,” John commented as he had both arms up, ready to block any attacks if needed, “but I’d rather continue my night with my lady if you gentlemen don’t mind.”

The three other men all ignored him and each one tried to punch him at different intervals to throw him off, but somehow, John managed to throw one man into the other and watched as the two tumbled straight into a table. The others who occupied the saloon were standing back and vacating the building. The bartender just sighed and walked off, not wanting to be part of yet another brawl. That left you, standing on the stairs away from the tussle.

The gunslinger looked back and you, making sure you were out of harm's way, then he got back to it. The two men who collided with the table were too drunk to stand, and all they did was stumble over one another. There was one left standing, and he was a little larger than the others.

“Look, I can just leave, no reason you gotta get involved,” John said nonchalantly, his stance easing up a little.

The man just glared down at him and he scoffed at the offer. “You ruined my engagement celebration, mister, I don’t take so kind to that.”

John just sighed and lifted his hands again, balling them into fists. “Alright then, have it your way,” he replied.

The man took a fast step forward and swung his fist straight at John’s jaw, and if it weren’t for the speed, maybe John would have dodged it, instead, he got nicked against his chin, which still caught him enough to cause some pain. That was all the distraction the man needed to step in and lunge at John, his larger body barreled into him and tackled him to the floor.

You let out a yelp, terrified that the man was going to have a one-up on John, and all you could do was watch in fear as your hands gripped the railing in fear.

The gunslinger was pinned onto the floor as the man above him threw punch after punch, landing a blow on his cheek, and almost breaking his nose at one point. John held up his arms to block and tried his best to use the strength from his legs to somehow get him to slip off, and he managed to throw the man off of him for a split second. He scrambled to find some balance, then rolled off to the side as the man recovered.

“Give up yet?” John asked with a smirk on his face as he licked the blood from his split lip, the bruises on his face forming fast.

The man just yelled out in frustration and then John had him in a blind frenzy, which made any man messy in a fight. John ducked from the swing and swung his right arm quickly, the blow landed in the side of the man’s temple, stunning him momentarily. Then it was over, John was finally standing over him and landing punch after punch in the man’s face until he fell unconscious. The gunslinger released the man’s collar, allowing his body to fall slack onto the wooden floor.

He looked up at you, panting to catch his breath as he straightened his posture. The people who occupied the saloon had all either hidden somewhere or run off, and there were just the two of you left with the pile of unconscious men scattered about on the floor. You waited a moment before hesitantly walking down the stairs to run into his arms, thankful he was alright despite being a little black and blue.

“As always you’re my hero,” you chuckled and reached up to touch his face, wiping away a smear of blood from his lip.

“And as always, we’re both gettin’ into trouble,” he replied gruffly.

You just scoffed. “We?”

“Well yeah, you’re my accomplice, partner in crime, ain’t you?” He asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Plus you’re the one always gettin’ the attention,” John teased as he slipped his arm through yours. He pulled you along and threw a couple of bills onto the countertop, then escorted you outside and across the muddly way, leading you straight to the hotel.

You both walked inside, the environment a complete flip from the saloon, and you were more at ease now, and even more thankful when you saw the list of services. The gentleman behind the counter stopped sweeping the floor and greeted you both with a kind smile.

“Howdy, how can I help y’all this evenin’?” He looked between the both of you with concern but didn’t voice them.

Your eyes looked over at John with a smile and then back at the desk man. “One bath and one room, please.”

The man smiled and got everything situated for you both, you thanked him and paid, then pulled John up the stairs to the bath. He followed obediently and cracked his neck as he ascended the stairs with you, groaning.

“Sleepin’ is gonna be a bitch, I just know it,” he complained.

“Well if you behaved for five minutes you wouldn’t have to worry about it, would you?” You scolded playfully as you looked over your shoulder at him. “He got some good hits in, but not gonna lie, Mister Marston, you looked really good kickin’ his ass.” You flashed him a cheeky smile and continued to lead him to the bath. “You go get cleaned up, I’ll get the room ready.”

You almost walked away, leaving him in front of the bath door, but his hand grabbed your wrist, and then he pulled you back toward him, falling into him as his arms wrapped around you. “Yeah? You think I looked good, huh?” He asked flirtatiously, pulling you close so his face was mere inches from yours. “Then why do you think you can just leave me here alone?” “John Marston, are you implyin’ I’m gonna join you in your bath?” You gasped, faux shock crossed your features.

All he could do was smile, the raised edges of the scars across his face made his face look extra handsome, and the dim lighting in the hall only made you admire his face even more. “Nah, I’m declarin’ that you are, unless you don’t wanna?” His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you into the most tender kiss he could manage.

When he pulled away, your eyes fluttered open and you just stared up at him with a lovestruck smile. “Well, when you put it that way…”

That was all the confirmation he needed, so he opened the door to the readied hot bath, pulling you in after him, and you couldn’t help but giggle as he closed the door behind you both. You sighed as he leaned your hands against his chest, just smiling up at him with that look.

“I know that look, what is it?”

“Nothin’, you’re just trouble, John Marston,” you said softly, your hand cupped his cheek again, mindful of how gentle you had to be. “But I wouldn’t change it for the world, you know that, right?”

The man looked down at you and pulled you into another kiss, pulling away a moment later with that charming smile you were unable to resist, his hand reached up to brush your hair away from your face so he could see the light in those pretty eyes of yours. Just a minor setback to your shared evening, but John always had ways to make it up to you.

#Tinalbion writings #john marston #john marston drabble #john marston writing #writing drabble #writing ask #rdr #rdr2 #red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption john marston #john marston x reader #john marston x you #john marston x f!reader #comfort #angst #fluff #afab reader #vidjausers-fable

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ryotono · 1 year

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More Hashira/Pillars and [Y/N] and much more love help

Hope you enjoy! ;)

[Y/N]: hello baby

Obanai: are you insulting me?

[Y/N]: ofc i'm insulting you, look at your height

Giyuu: you know you're not much taller than him, right?

[Y/N]: don't betray me like that

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mitsuri: Don't compare her to sunshine and roses, when she's clearly orchid's and moonlight!

[Y/N]: she's a bitch

Mitsuri: that too, but that's not the point!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

In the fight against Upper Moon one:

[Y/N] to Kokushibo: If bad, why so hot

Sanemi: [Y/N] wtf

Gyomei: God bless this poor soul, and they horrible likes for men

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

X to Kamaboko Squad: thank gods your guys make in time ah- Why are you in pajamas?

Tanjiro: we were at a sleepover party!

X: right, where's the hashira [Y/N]?

Zenitsu: we were at a sleepover party with [Y/N]

[Y/N] running in a among us pajamas: I'M HERE

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

[Y/N]: it would be to wrong if i say i want to smash your father?

Rengoku, smiling: ... WHAT?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

[Y/N]: tell me why, your hands, are cold...

Shinobu: Cold hands may be caused by simply being in a cold room or other chilly environment. Cold hands are often a sign that your body is trying to maintain its regular body temperature. Always having cold hands, however, could mean there's a problem with your blood flow or the blood vessels in your hands.

[Y/N]: oh

Shinobu: but my hands are cold because your not holding them

[Y/N]: oh!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hashira/Pillars reacting to [Y/N] saying "I protect you don't worry!"

Giyuu, who already killed the demons: alright dear

Mitsuri, who also killed the demons: ah! I will protect you too [Y/N]! ♡

Rengoku: NOT IF A PROTECT YOU FIRST! >:D

Shinobu: thank you [Y/N], but take care of yourself first ^^

Uzui: you? protect me? HA, I doubt it ( you actually protect him, he's amazed by that)

Gyomei, who ALSO already killed the demons: thank you my dear

Muichiro: okay ( he likes )

Obanai: As if you could do that ( he likes too, very much actually)

Sanemi: YOU CAN'T EVEN PROTECT YOURSELF, YOUR ALMOST GOT SHOT ( he's shy, give him a break ;)

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Demon: this is your end, Hashira!

[Y/N]: wait pls don't kill, you will never know what's rhyme with chupacabra

Demon: ... what?

[Y/N] pointing a gun: abracadabra

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Uzui and his wife's: tell me why, your hands, are cold...

[Y/N] single ass: oh mah gawd, CORNY! lame booo!

[Y/N] start throwing things: tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Uzui: hey, there you are partner

Rengoku: sorry I'm late i was busy doing stuff

Uzui: what stuff

[Y/N]: I'm stuff

Uzui:

Rengoku:

Uzui: EYYY

[Y/N]: EYYYYY

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

[Y/N]: that's sad (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Uzui: what was that

[Y/N]: (⁠´⁠⊙⁠ω⁠⊙⁠`⁠)⁠！

Uzui: [Y/N] this is a verbal communication, how are you doing this?

[Y/N]: ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Uzui: [Y/N]????

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Rengoku: (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

Mitsuri: (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

[Y/N]: (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

Muichiro: (⁠ー⁠_⁠ー⁠゛⁠)

Uzui: WHAT THE F*CK IS HAPPENING????

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sanemi: sometimes, I am scared of you going to fight all those demons

Sanemi: but then i'm think " it's okay, [Y/N] going to make it"

[Y/N]: aww because you believe in me?

Sanemi: no, because Satan don't want you bothering him, you dumb shit

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

[Y/N] and Giyuu cuddling:

Obanai: disgusting

Mitsuri: aw they so cute

Obanai: yes very cute mitsuri you right you always are

[Y/N] in the distance : what a simp

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Extra!

X: What do you think about the Hashira [Y/N]?

Giyuu: they cool ( he loves you, and thanks you for not treating him like everyone else)

Gyomei: a good soul, loud and chaotic but good ( you remind him his kids )

Mitsuri: [Y/N] is adorable, I love when we met and eat together, and talk about a lot of things! ( we love you too Mitsu bae )

Muichiro: we watch the clouds together ( he likes your company, you are like a older sibling to him)

Obanai: Kaburamaru likes them, I don't know why ( bcs you like them too your gremlin )

Rengoku: THEY HAVE A STRONG SPIRIT! ( he admires you, yeaaah the flame boy admires you and ofc love u too)

Sanemi: I hate them ( translation: I tolerate them )

Uzui: EYYYY- sorry they are the only one who match's my amazing style! ( Partners in crime )

GUESS WHO IS POSTING AT A NORMAL TIME NOT 3AM? HAHAHA

Anyway, that's as kinda short sorry for this

And thank for all you support, I love you all ♡ :')

Hope you Enjoyed!

[ English is actually not my first language, so I'm sorry for any misspelling or errors!]

#demon slayer headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba #kokushibo #demon slayer #giyuu tomioka #demon slayer hashira #kny hashira #shinobu kocho #uzui tengen #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku headcanons #kny obanai #obanai iguro #mitsuri kanjiro #muichiro tokito #kamaboko squad #sanemi shinazugawa #gyomei himejima

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songfell-ut · 6 months

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Songfell anniversary post, pt 1

Eyyy so four years ago today, I posted the first three chapters of my story on AO3, having seen an unfinished comic and gotten permission from the artist to write a fic using her premise. This here is the first piece of Songfell art ever, commission from the OG comic creator, @lostmypotatoes 👌

So! I am not posting any new content for the moment. My mom has been having health problems, including me having to help take her to the ER (she's fine, just needs to stay in bed for a while), which delays actual writings a bit. What I am doing is reposting art from four years of Tumblr! C'mon down memory lane, wheeeeee

(Part 2, Part 3)

This is going to be in VERY VERY approximate chronological order as it depicts stuff in the story. Stuff with no set place in the story will be guesstimated because I have that power ah ha ha ha ha

Disclaimer: I've pulled all of these from posts or reblogs made by this specific blog. If I didn't see or repost any Songfell art you've done, especially for the videos, I did not leave it out on purpose. I threw in exactly one image from Discord for the sake of completing a set, but that was it.

In cases of multiple...okay it's just the fork scene that has multiple iterations because everyone liked it, but besides the opening one here (which is still my AO3 pfp!), the one that was the first piece of non-commissioned art I ever got will be first. Enjoy!

This was the first non-potatoes art in the videos, I believe, done by the superlative @venelona (probably the most prolific of the arts on here), when somebody realizes he's gonna lose 😘

The collection skips ahead to Sans contemplating killing the nice lady and then totally randomly thinking of Kris instead, by @mambourin D: But whaddya know--

See? That's the sound of losing, son

That's the sight of losing, by @sharkowskii, whose work speaks for itself. Here's the whole thing, colored fantastically by Vene.

Know what else they did together, and happens once he's been knocked out?

(Look at this so good holy shit) Frisk's had a bit of a tired, scared cry in the hall, and it's time to face her new guest head-on.

I lost my mind at least a little bit when I first saw these, ngl. I can't find the next page that she did for the compiled "movie" video 😢 But now we're coming up on a fun bit of Songfell lore!

I was scrolling through Tumblr and glanced over what looked like a picture of my Frisk ha ha that was kind of VENELONA DID A THING WAIT WHAT

First ever fanart, that's what. We have a High Priestess who is completely done with his goddamn nonsense, and

Pictured: goddamned nonsense. N-Not like he LIKES you, baka

Aaand here's my Discord pfp, by @xxkoichiixx (who seems not to be on here anymore D:).

And here's a very plausible alternate outcome by @vafro1.

Though this was a bit more like it, thanks to @naomyart.

Oh look a distraction after he was stupid what are the odds (Catler1!)

Last and never least (none of you are >:( so there), puns are dumb and it turns out they're into it. The End...for now

...

Bonus outtake recording illustration from @dale-the-human

#songfell #songfell anniversary post #dale's dogs fearlessly protect her against useable audio

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typicalopposite · 3 months

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Hi!! Could I please request prompt 7.Guess ‘hot goddamn mess’ is your type then (Got Weird - dodie) with Shassie(psych)? I read this and thought of them!

It is fine if you don't do it, you are probably very busy and have a lot of requests ! I am sorry about me English, it isn't my first language! Take care<3

Heyyyy! Thank you for the ask! 💕💕 o really don’t get many requests so it’s always exciting when it do!! 😁😁

Anyways! Here you go! One Shassie Ficlet <3 hope you like it!

Carlton reclines back in his chair and takes a sip of his coffee. Across the bullpen Shawn is sitting with Guster at O’Hara’s desk. He’s rambling on about something Carlton hasn’t really bothered enough to try to hear; he’s more so just watching Shawn continually dump a peanut—from a pack he got out of the vending machine—into his hand, toss it into the air, in an attempt to catch it in his mouth. So far he hasn’t caught one yet. He has nearly tipped himself backwards in his chair, and landed one in Guster’s coffee, and landed another in O’Hara's keyboard. None of that has deterred him from continuing to try, though. Eventually his little show is cut short by the Chief sending them out for a lead on a case; them being him and O’Hara… but he has long accepted that Shawn and Guster will be likely joining them. He stands up and throws his jacket around his back, slipping his arms down into it, grabs his gun, his badge, and rounds his desk just as Shawn tips his head back and a peanut flies directly down his throat. Shawn coughs and sputters—while Guster snorts and O’Hara hides her giggles behind a hand—and Carlton swats Shawn’s back as he passes. “Maybe don’t try to take yourself out when we’ve just been given a lead. “We?” Shawn’s voice is hoarse and scratchy from coughing, but his eyes light up. “Oh my god, I call shotgun!” Carlton purses his lips, sighing hard through his nose. “Just— come on,” he groans, pointedly ignoring O’Hara’s smirk, as well as Shawn and Guster’s fist bump. Shawn practically runs to the passenger seat to claim it before O’Hara can, and he is bouncing in the seat when Carlton slides in behind the wheel. “Stop that,” he barks, nowhere near as harsh as he used to once upon a time, but enough Shawn settles down. Shawn goes into his pocket, pulls out a peanut, and tosses it into the air, catching it the first try! “Eyyy!” He cheers around it, and the backseat cheers with him. Then his eyes go wide, his face pulls down and he quickly opens the door to spit. “That was not a peanut…” he says, flicking his tongue and wincing. Carlton rolls his eyes, as he starts the crown Vic, whipping her out into traffic. He glances over at Shawn, wiping off his tongue and whimpering at the taste now in his mouth. Guess hot goddamn mess is your type then, Lassiter, he thinks to himself, and slips his hand across the seat to Shawn’s, who instantly forgets his ministrations to lace their fingers together. He smiles over at Carlton. Yeah, Carlton continues to think, but he’s my mess, and I wouldn’t give him up for the world.

<3<3<3<3<3<3

#from ficlet friday #psych #psych usa #psych fic #shassie #carlton lassiter #shawn spencer #burton guster #juliet o'hara #answered asks

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fivedollarfred · 1 month

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6/6

Eyyy, the final gal is here!

I was torn between drawing her og unicorn form or the alicorn version, but I just decided on alicorn.

To be frank, and honest, I was not a fan of Twilight as a kid. She was my least favorite of the bunch, mostly because I am not a fan of the goodie-two-shoes characters, or nerdy characters, and I guess the way she's introduced as an asocial stuckup and just flips 180 degrees put me off. Idk, all I know is that my dislike has faded over the years and now I just find her alright. I think if the show showed more of her learning about how friendship works instead of seeing and guiding others morally I'd be more fine with it, since Twilight is the one meant to be learning and growing as a person. But that aside, she's fine, and I do like the color purple :)

#fanart #digital art #mlp fim #mlp g4 #my little pony #twilight sparkle #I have complaints #but I've matured #so I just think she's neat

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bitterkarella · 10 months

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Midnight Pals: Evil Computer

Harlan Ellison: so how does a guy get paid around here Edgar Allan Poe: this isn't that kind of event, harlan Poe: we just gather here to tell stories for fun Ellison: well, the rest of you might be assholes but that doesn't mean i am Ellison: not saying a fucking word here til i get my money

Harlan Ellison: what is this? some online jokester making jokes with my likeness? Ellison: oh you better hope they're paying me for this Poe: lighten up harlan it's just for fun Ellison: lightening up costs extra

Harlan Ellison: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the evil computer that can torture you forever Elon Musk: mama mia! Musk: concerning!

Ellison: who's this guy? Barker: oh that's just steve's friend elon musk King: he's not my friend Barker: he shows up sometimes King: he's not my friend

Elon Musk: eyyy Friendship ended with stephano king Musk: Now HP Lovecraft issa my best friend Lovecraft: what Musk: eyyyy hp lovacraft we lika two peasa inna pod Musk: you no lika de jews, i no lika de jews! Musk: you namma you cat a slur, i namma my kid a slur! Lovecraft: which kid? Musk: De Protocols offa de Elders of Xion Musk

Ellison: so there's this evil computer that can do anything Ellison: like, it can make you live forever just to fuck with you King: how does it make you live forever? Ellison: shut up steve, i'm talking

Ellison: like, this computer is so evil and it can make shit like Ellison: like ice caves and shit Ellison: and it can turn you into a jelly King: how does it do any of this Ellison: shut the fuck up steve Ellison: asking stupid questions costs extra

Musk: mama mia this-a evil computer will destroy ussa all! Harlan Ellison: oh you like this concept? Ellison: think its real scary huh? Ellison: motherfucker, pay me.

Musk: eyyy dissa evil super computer willa destroy ussa all Musk: therefore i musta help build it Musk: itta de only logical thing to do!

King: so apparently elon musk built an evil super computer so powerful that it can say all the slurs at once Arthur C Clarke: my god, steve!! Clarke: doesn't he know Clarke: that's the purpose of creation! Clarke: once every slur is said, God will bring the Universe to an end!

Clarke: once every slur is said, God will bring the Universe to an end! Carter Scholz: i was going to say that too Clarke: oh yeah wow real original Scholz: like, you know, as a commentary on your story Clarke: yeah i know what you're doing Clarke: eat my ass carter

Linda Yaccarino: [sweating, rictus grin] everyone loves twitter, the fun place for fun! Elon Musk: eeeyyy here-a soma my favorite slurs Musk: saracen, tinker, spaghett face, niknokker, bibblebeep Yaccarino: [sweating, rictus grin] yeah ha ha we sure love to have fun here on twitter!

Musk: eyyyy i hate de jews Musk: but i lova de israel Jonathan Greenblatt: masterful gambit, sir

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #stephen king #clive barker #edgar allan poe #hp lovecraft #harlan ellison #elon musk #carter scholz #arthur c clarke #jonathan greenblatt #linda yaccarino

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