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greenpanda-djg · 1 year

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My issue with AI art.

Here's some things I've heard/read online from ai bros etc and here's what conclusions I came to. I have no idea how AI actually works same way as how I don't know how every intenational law of by heart. I've seen people who HAVE understanding of what it is from both sides the for and against.

But I'm one of those people who doesn't read the terms of service before I agree to acess my new iphone so- from the information and what others have said this is what I think.

Like crypto currency, nfts and pryamid schemes it reeks of scam,

Its easy to abuse. There is no safety nets for anyone involved and just seems as another fancier complicated way of saving an image of google and posting it on instagram for likes and follows.

"It's learning from Artists, not stealing."

Okay where is this LIST of artists that donated their artworks to the system? Where is the credit.

Instead of a # Ross/Draws or # Loish/ instead it only tags as the art style.

Because no one can OWN an art style instead of the artist used to generate this image its #pastel art. And no one can own an art style so its used as a ploy to AVOID criticism. To comes across as better to beg for forgivness than permission by using art style and being sneaky about it makes it come across as they are blatently stealing and plainly sorry they got caught not for the act. If you really care about artists you would credit the ones you stole to make a gross amalgamation of instead of reducing all that artists work and labour to an art style.

"Its an art tool."

Its too [how can I say] open world. There is a difference between posting your art on an account then deleting it later, but the program once an image is posted is open to everyone. Instead of being a tool like design doll, or making your own brushes on an art program its like anyone can invade and highjack it. Its not an indiviual program once its in the date because if you upload anything your are giving it permission to take that image and 'learn' from it. And with that- from the previous statment. Did any artist CONSENT to their art being put into this program? If I saved an image of Iyla kushinov and posted that in the AI even tho I am NOT that person does that not count as being unethical?

"Its public domain."

only artists seem to know this, and none artists have this entitlment that I've noticed. But there is a give or take system, If I upload on a website I trust there wont be too much abuse but I'm aware that yeah someone can save/take it but no matter what I know I can keep drawing or show the proof of my art in WIPS and concept stages. Me posting on a website it has its own contracts and agreement, in doing so by uploading making content getting engagment actually builds up revenue for the website as both consumer and creator its a give or take relationship. Even with artists online we learn from each other but understand the logical agreement to not 'steal' but take inspiration. I can look up ethan becker and study his work but maybe he can come across an art piece of mine and might copy the colour pallete. Its a beneficial enviorment where everyone is on the same page.

Even tho its public artists have a history of being protective of their work, no one likes art thiefs/reposters or tracers even to the point of calling people out and even cancelling bigger artists for tracing or straight up stealing.

Also if its public domain, then where does the line stop? Does that mean I can take AI art and take that as my own, its public domain? That means any ai art I like I can just save the image, change it slightly and take it as my own. Want to complain? its public domain.

"Its no different than reference." There is something called HUMAN ERROR. We make mistakes, even if we are looking at a reference hand eye coordination sometimes doesn't project this clearly. So many artists draw things that look nothing like what they had in their head but come up with something they ended up liking. We cant make a perfect copy, or even looking at references from the past, memories are a fickle thing and we misremember or think something looks one way or another.

I could think of a circle, then by drawing from memory create an oval. Then it progresses into a new shape intiarlly. Just by mistakes, by doing it wrong by accident.

Ai is designed as a computer, numbers and codes to do it as it is. There is no time for error or even experimentation. Halfway through a painting artists CHANGE their mind and change the colour, or experiemnt with brushes an ai wont do that. They would do what majority of other artists have created to make it look nice.

Ai is as limited in this, and without experimentation it just wont work.

For example, realistically, every artists is told anime art isn't 'real art' and not to use it. And yet its the most popular art style constintly used and even making its way into animation.

We were told to use red green blue. But artists use cmyk instead.

We were told that red and green are complimentary colours and yet we always pear red with Teal or blue and make purple.

Its not the same because like free guy, even if you add a ton of shit into the image that small 'code' is the source of an art piece that had no consent to being there and its unmovable and inchangable. No different that a diformed collage with too many fingers and chair legs.

"It doesnt Steal art jobs."

It doesn't steal, but it does change the market value. Art prices have dropped from $80.00 to twenty, the more quantity or easier it is to get something makes it harder to make a living as others will be forced to make their work cheaper to get commisions. Its going back on humane working and almost forces artists into unworkable enviorment to keep up with commisions keep it consistent and to be payed by the hour and enough money to earn a living. Its basic marketing 101 the more quantity the lower the value.

Its already used in conventions used in spaces when most artist sell their artworks/prints.

As well as video game developers are now using it as a shortcut to make art and even imply that human art is obsolete.

source:

Legal aka daylight robbery is what it is.

I know this might come across as wrong and not a complete comparison, but the awful condictions proffiting of labours of others work and taking all the gain without lifting a finger, makes it feel like artists are more like sweet shops. Getting pennies for doing all the work and getting NOTHING in return.

And the worst dangerous part.

The dangers of Ai, including Deep fakes, ai voices, proffiting of dead actors.

E.g Deep fake of robert downey and Tom holland in Back to the future.

From a glance you cant tell, with time AI will IMPROVE.

Look not to be a nutter, but with the way the internet is going this is a discussion to be had. With deep fakes, ai generated voices taking real photos and blending them together. It sounds fun and non-threating. But I can't help but think, with how...lax companies are when it comes to the porn industry and other really messed up stuff.

And the thought of so many kids on tik tok, their videos photos selphies then add onto ai generations to create certain types of content. Either to add their faces on a model or to change the face to make it harder for anyone to detect.

For example, if someone posts their girlfriend on only fans and profits of that video in revenge p/rn and other things happening, would the deep fakes make it harder to detect CP and other stuff will ai consider that and would people who are really detestable immedietly think of doing that?

I'm uncomfrotable talking about this, but giving that it IS a possibility - that there is no safety nets with AI, that it admits on the tik tok anime filter app it was taking your selfies and taking it without consent.

Source: Tik Tok app accused of data mining, stealing personal information.

Already the internet is a wild west of a landscape where so many things slip under the radar. Such as your email adress being taken and sold to the highest bidder and constantly recieving spam mail >.<

And the other best part, tampering with evidence. If improved you can get someon conviced of anything with an audio of a confession.

And last note.

Artistic expression, of freedom. Trying to monetise, and calling it a democracy that art is now reduced as less than human and we need to get "Real jobs." Makes you realise how much everyone looks down on artists.

But most art has mostly been used as a form of protest, expression, a call out, satire and something used as a tool to critic 'society' to reduce that feels like some dystopia type shit.

At the end of the day, I dont ai will work. There are TOO many holes in it and its too open a program. I'll admit that I agree its calling out artists for drawing the same anime picture over and over because if I can't tell its ai and all art looks the same, means that everyone IS pretty much being stagnent in artistic expression I'll admit as a whole art has gotten stagment and complacent in its style so to seperate from AI might actually make people go out there way to be indivdual.

I doubt AI wont have mistakes, would you watch a movie knowing a BOT wrote the script? I wouldn't.

Sure you can tick the right boxes but it wont hit the soul, its a quick fix but as time goes on you'll realise how lacking it is and it'll affect everyone in the long run. Take a look at movies, media, video games. Most have either gone on hiatus or not as good as they used to be, both from nostalgia but also the lack of stimuation that humans need to be ingaged is missing and makes everyone bored, and prone to being more annoyed for their time being wasted.

AI art sounds great, but like Onceler cutting all his trees down, the long term has too many issues that arent being addresed.

Already most AI bros and others overly complicate and make statments that make it seem as if they are just agreeing with anything for free art but dont realise that it deserves criticism.

And yes artists have had issues with AI and instead of listening to IMPROVE this so called 'art tool' just steam roll over artists and tell them to shut up and accept it. Is another reason why artists think AI sucks and anyone affiliated with it is just scum.

Sam does art generators VS copyright.

An artist DRAWING on a livestream had her progress stolen completed by an AI bro and THEY the Ai bro tried to accuse the artist of stealing their work.

Source

Heres is Loish opinion on AI art.

Now there are people who steal peoples work and 'finish it' with ai and take full credit. Its just more fires in this space first tracers, reposters and art thiefs NOW aI theifs who then accuse the artist of stealing. [How is AI postive when its filled with scumbags like this???]

Then an artist gets accused of being ai and is then told to CHANGE THE artstyle oh sure we'll accomodate the robot, we're hurting its feefees by stealing its unique artstlye.

The fact that AI was a TOOL TO HELP ARTISTS feels like a knife stabbed in the gut and then they have the nerve to say "Why are you upset? Stop bleeding your being dramatic."

But what else is worse is copyright.

As artists online, we have a protection of use to create fanart/fiction/videos without being sued by disney from drawing such characters. By strangling AI to protect OUR content can easily double back on use and make it diffuclt for us to make fanart/get engagment and might lose our space.

As of now the world is getting smaller and more cramped and its going to be difficult to navigate. But with the way people go on, and have no comprehensive thinking, we have to simplify and dumb things down and draw a line in the sand the right/wrong left or right.

I'm against AI it sucks. And anyone who has any other opinion is complacent and part of the problem. If that makes you angry your part of the problem. And dont bother talking to me my opinion wont change.

#ai #a #i #aiart #ai art #AI #AIART #AI ART #ART #ai art generator #i fucking hate ai #aiartcommunity #ai image #ai artwork #ai art community #ai art discourse #ANTI-AI

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juniperhillpatient · 2 years

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On that list of controversial teenagers you defend, does Lexy really count? I mean, she is a protagonist on the show and not really that controversial considering she is part of Jake's found family and a MAIN character. I'm not hating I'm just pointing out that she doesn't really fit in with some of the other characters you tagged like Azula or Faith who are villains.

Hi!!! First of all, I wish you were off anon I need more people who are interested in discussing Chucky to follow! Second of all, yes Lexy fits in because I was thinking of teenage characters with questionable morals who get insane levels of hate online despite having clear trauma & reasons for acting the way they do. The Chucky writers put a lot of thought & care into Lexy's arc & the result is that she's no longer "controversial." To be clear I am a HUGE fan of Lexy's redemption arc & eventual friendship with Jake & Devon. The found family between the 3 of them is a huge draw of the show for me. But Lexy NEVER deserved the level of hate she got. No, not even when she was being a cruel bully. YES she was awful, BUT what I mean is that it was clear there was more to her & that Jake was being manipulated against her & it bugged me that the fandom preferred to gleefully hate her than explore what was happening at times.

Lexy was NOT always a protagonist & I remember very clearly when the Chucky tag was literally FILLED with people talking about how horrible she was & how they hoped she died painfully & every mainstream article about the show was about what an irredeemable bitch she was. Despite Lexy being, you know, a young teenager with emotionally absent parents :) I would now argue that her mother is abusive to an extent, but based on the knowledge we had early on we could at least notice something was off. I remember when people (who clearly didn't understand the franchise) were siding with CHUCKY all because he appeared to be an ally for Jake against Lexy. & I may have made a few "Chucky is an ally" jokes myself too but it got kind of annoying when the fandom was nonstop meme-ing about that at the expense of noticing that Chucky was clearly manipulating Jake & that Lexy - however horrible her bullying might have been - clearly did not deserve to be murdered.

I guess for me Lexy is actually a REALLY interesting example of the phenomena in fandom where people en-masse SWARM to hate & ridicule teenage characters acting questionably due to their trauma & situation because the fandom flipped a switch when Lexy was shown growing. It would be great to get more similar arcs on TV where the "bully" or "unlikable" character gets to be explored & apologizes & changes. It's an interesting arc & I enjoy it but it's rare to see it done well & with Lexy it was.

& look - I don't mean to throw shade at an already small fandom. I love the Chucky fandom. the gif makers & artists & meta & fic writers are amazing. I'm just noticing that there is an unfair trend in fandom (& not just the Chucky fandom, but in general) when it comes to like, enjoying hating traumatized teenagers just a little TOO much. & it leads to me wanting to defend the less morally pure non-uwu-soft characters - the characters who make bad choices & do bad things - because that can be interesting to explore.

But like, yes, IMO Lexy IS a good example of a character who gets disproportionate levels of hate IF you remember the early days lol (sorry for the novel my god I cannot shut up when I get going)

#lexy cross #chucky season 1 #chucky tv series #asks #anon #answered

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bunkernine · 3 years

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i forgot 2 ask in the last ask 2 ☹ who drew ur pfp 👀

it's from the readriordan website, here's the link to the spotlight article about drew tanaka. since I've only been using official art lately, im counting the website as official 🤔 if it wasn't official I'd put the artist in my bio

but anyway long answer short, I'm going to fucking murder you rn for bringing this up 🤣 because i can't find out on the website nor wikia so i needed to search.

here's my thoughts and my journey😭🕵️:

at first i looked at cover artists of rrp books

Vivienne To did the art for Dragon Pearl and The Last Fallen Star so the art style feels familiar and she is clearly tied to the Riordan label, but it didn't feel right.

Vanessa Morales also did art for Paolo Santiago and the Forest of Nightmares, which was also kind of similar but her work was like, too dynamic to feel right for this profile. the colors she uses are so vibrant!!!

....then i got lazy and only did those 2 😭 the rest felt too off anyway

The problem with those two is that it seems they only draw for things related to their culture (which is a neat move on riordan's side i think) but the pjo artist all seem to be the same for the pjo articles.

🕵️🕵️🕵️

so i went to insta (@readriordan) 😭😭😭 and this motherfucker doesnt tag nobody and doesn't say shit in captions 😭😭😭

i went thru a couple of posts of the pjo art to find an artist. i realized that there seems to be at least 2 artists but neither have been named. someone on insta also felt this way but no response 😭😭😭

i tried not to cry when i go thru so many posts . there's this one about Zoe nightshade with #warriorcrushwednesday that someone commented their WCW was Leo Valdez and others say Nico Di Angelo. i try not to think about this too much.

🕵️🕵️🕵️

→ anyway insta tells me nothing. Twitter tells me nothing or at least not that i can search too much as i don't have an account.

→ Facebook. i just fucking know the answer is probably there because it's fucking facebook but i don't have an account and it won't let me keep scrolling. so fucked up 😭😭 the @readriordan about page never fucking loads

all the fucking links at the bottom of the page lead to Disney, like DISNEY DISNEY. i skimmed thier terms of use for no reason.

finally i straight up Google search the images... nothing shows 😭 the first one i did was the hyacinthus image which was a mistake because it kept bringing up tsoa. so i didn't the pic of jo and emmie which only brought 5 or 6 Google pages. nothing.

🕵️🕵️🕵️

i look up many variations of "who draws the character art for read Riordan?" nothing but the old artists we already know show up, but this is not their style!!!! sobbing

🕵️🕵️🕵️

my last resort: email this man. i head to the rickriordan website, which is different from readriordan. his contact info says something along the lines off "fuck off!!!!! i took down my email 🤣 and u gotta contact me on twitter insta or Facebook to get a hold of this rich guy 🤑🤣🤣🤣 even tho i don't run that shit!!!!! gl fans 💓"

🛐 can not wait for the purge, i thought

🕵️🕵️🕵️

my final option: i expect to mail a letter to the publisher. i am not to expect an answer.

so i do not actually mail him.

🕵️🕵️🕵️

anyway i do not have a conclusive answer. i can only say this is official art and perhaps one day Riordan will answer the people. tbh some of the art is real iffy and kinda gross but LOL no clue who did it 😭 i hope this pain satisfies you but there is no answer here from me. hopefully someone can find them out there 💓

frankly imo, it's really irresponsible to not say who ur artist is! but i am not millionaire nor am I the artist not getting the clout so where does that put me. just a blogger with a drew pfp and hopeful asker who gets nothing 💕 stay cute bro

#kit #asks #long post #abt me #im on a ledge whenever i think abt going thru this shit.

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i-love-you-all · 2 years

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Hello!!! Really quick want to say how much I adore your writing!!! Also, I have had a question since reading why and how you ship Breach and Sova!! What are the chances for sometime in the future for them to become as close to a thing as nanobomb? From what I seen riot likes to listen to the fans but then also riot doesn't put voice lines like that for fun. Specially with breach being a flirt (I know he doesn't do it only to sova. There is phoenix reyna and viper maybe???) Also Breach and sova started on completely different ends than Killjoy and Raze (I think), and from what I am see is that Sage and Sova are more in the foreground to even become something romantic in the future. (From that line by sova. I'm not sure about sage) The idea of character development between the two could happen I can see it, but realistically speaking what are the chances? I know it is probably soon still to say anything but I think its interesting to think about!! Sorry my first language isn't english thank you for your work!!!!!

!!! First, tyty for the kind words!! Also, had you not mentioned it, I wouldn't have questioned your English LOL. I have friends born and raised in Canada with worse English than that :p

I respond to the Sage/Sova stuff first, since you brought it up, but to answer your question kinda directly, no. I don't think Breach/Sova will ever be as close to canon as nanobomb is. The essay as to why I think this will continue to be fan-sided is under the keep reading lol. Once again just reminding ppl I don't work for Riot so like, there's every chance they do something I didn't see coming.

But my thoughts on Sage/Sova stuff is kinda where I'm at for most other ships in the sense that I don't think there will be another ship hinted at until we get at least another year into Valorant's lifespan, and when we do, my guess is that it has something to do with Phoneix. Whether its with Yoru or Jett, I don't know but his character's in the spotlight as one of the originals, and most used in cinematics and stuff.

Breach/Sova is a ship that has some basis in how relationships can start and develop. However, despite the lines and the foundation that you mention as well in the voice lines, I would say that it will never get as cannon as nanobomb. This is because of three main points, namely, it's not popular enough among fans, I don't think too many "canon" ships are good for a fandom, and their creative vision.

So you mentioned that Riot does listen to fans, which is correct to some extent. For nerfs/buffs/skin lines and battlepass stuff, they will listen to fans for sure (lore stuff is a little touch and go bc it's a diff team and they already have a vision, which I'll go into later). But there are simply not enough fans behind Breach/Sova. Sage, Viper, Omen, and Cypher with Sova all have more numbers behind them, so if, say a popularity vote happened with the team planning to follow them and implement a new ship, then Breach/Sova wouldn't even be on the ballot. I think you can count the number of Breach/Sova content creators on just your fingers - maybe just the ones on one hand... if you look at that tag on AO3 a lot of it is me and a user called forresearchpurposes. By word count, it's mostly me. In terms of art, which reaches more people to start with, I've seen three regular artists who draw the ship: ninadrawsstuff, nomegusta, and moth. I saw cameos of it here and there but it was not the main focus, and people don't really notice it lol. Unless Riot already has the long game plan to push Sova and Breach together on the road from rivals to lovers, they won't be influenced to do so by fans. (unless my writing is just that effective *hair flip*. jkjk, i know my limits)

To a certain extent, I don't think "confirming" ships is great for a fandom like Valorant. There is no end story. There will be arcs and there will be development, but Valorant is not an rpg or anything where the story will have an end and the game ends there. Nanobomb was great imo because it was the gay representation in a major game that a lot of people wanted, and I think it's cute and fun. They still won't 100% confirm it because by confirming a ship you take the fun out of the guessing of fans. By keeping all ships possible (despite the "no fraternization rule" which really should come up soon in relation to KJ and Raze if we want this to be cannon), you generate more interest. People feel more free to ship who they want rather than following one ship "because it's canon". Canon ships don't stop people from shipping characters with other ones, but it discourages it. The writers would know this just as well as anyone, so they will always spill hints here and there, but nothing will be confirmed, and they may change their minds.

Lastly, the writers, and Nottingham (idk if I got his name right or wrong) in particular have mentioned repeatedly that they have some sort of creative vision in place, and while its flexible depending on actual game development, they generally have an idea of where they want to go. And maybe it's gut feeling but the lead mentioned that he generally takes the story very seriously, and was against the dancing Brimstone gif at first. Do I agree w him on the seriousness, no. But I do understand where he's coming from. You have this vision that you're trying to convey, and it's being misconstrued or whatever. There's a lot to be said about publishing art of any form and thus releasing it to people's interpretation, but I'm sure they do want to support the no fraternization rule in canon even if the fandom treats it like it doesn't exist. But my gut feelings remains. They aren't thinking about how to make the next ship cannon. Characters will flirt, they will tease but nothing will come as close to nanobomb for some time.

So, that answer's kinda bleak, but I love the ship and I'll keep writing my enemies to lovers things, even if Sova gets put w someone else.

ALSO, if Riot makes me eat my words and ever makes tremorbolt canon or whatever version of canon that nanobomb is... idk I'll literally work for them for free for a couple weeks. 60 hours of straight writing, outline, screenplay, anything they want from me, I'll fly to their HQ to make them coffee idk.

But yeah, that's my answer. I hope it answers your question, and I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear.

#valorant #tremorbolt #answered asks #interesting question tho!#def a fun thought experiment

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wordstrings · 2 years

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Message answering time!

—

@unluckiestwrench asked:

Ever think of starting a Discord for the TFB community?

I haven't, mostly because Discord isn't something I've had a lot of experience with. I know a number of others have started various tickling-related servers, but I haven't sought any of them out or know if they're still running. (I'm happy to share info if anyone knows of any!) I do have Discord, though – you can find me at strings#9017.

—

Anonymous asked:

😊 how are you doing today? - 🦋

I'm doing very nicely, thank you! And I was doing nicely back when you asked, too (like eight weeks ago). Just haven't been prioritizing Tumblr for a bit. I've been trying to make progress through my watchlist backlog, which has included a lot of Lucifer, Critical Role, and Star Trek.

—

Anonymous asked:

Hey strings, you should do more art!! You're really really talented and you should draw more on your blog outside of tickletober!! I know I'd heart each one because oh my God your art is just so cute and flustering-💜

Thank you! I had fun doing all the Tickletober pieces (masterlist here). Art makes the rounds so much more easily than fic; the top note-grabbers in that batch easily outperformed my typical note count by 10x. I do have some stray ideas floating around for other artwork, though writing is still where my passion lies so don't expect me to stop anytime soon. :)

(All my drawings are filed under #strings does art.)

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Anonymous asked:

would you make tickling pictures on an animated movie?

Animation is beyond my current skills, I'm afraid!

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Anonymous asked:

Your t artwork is incredible!!! I love the waist/fingers post

Thanks! I think the one you're referring to is this death-spot piece? I love it, too. :)

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Anonymous asked:

I don't know if you've got anything like this before but. Female or genderfluid gabriel × male to female trans Sam. Maybe as a Victorian AU or an AU where one of them is a ghost that haunts the other's house that other folks have warned to be haunted.

Interesting premise! I support genderfluid angels and trans!Sam. :) This doesn't quite spark my muse, but I'll keep it filed among my prompts!

—

(Now we're getting into the really old stuff, sent months and months ago, sorry!)

Anonymous asked:

here I am sitting in class trying to do my work when the the image pops into my brain - stoic, season 4 Cas being tickled to the ground by both Dean and Sam and then just laying there, giggling adorably because wow that was fun. now I can't focus on anything but that

Yeeeeessss! (Hope you eventually got your classwork done!)

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Anonymous asked:

imagine dean getting hit by a spell that makes him get hit with ticklish shocks every 3 minutes and he KNOWS they're coming but he can't do anything to stop them

Get that boy with anticipation! Bonus points for having someone to hold onto and bury his giggles in. ;)

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@lex-the-mockingbird asked:

Am I the only one with a solid craving for ticklish Dean headcanons? And just- Destiel Headcanons because oh my god they're just so precious and amazing💜

They are, aren't they! Many headcanons to be had over at the #headcanons tag. :)

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Anonymous asked:

OKAY BUT Dean helping Cas put sunscreen on his back and Cas giggling because his back is so ticklish and Dean KNOWS it

I don't make the rules but this is true.

...okay, I do make my own rules. And I'd still declare this true.

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waywardpenguinunknown asked:

I know that people love 'lee Misha/Cas a lot, but 'ler Misha/Cas has me feeling some type of way Just the smirks and hums and teasing grins, not to mention the fact that Cas has like a /crazy/ amount of power, you wouldn't be getting out anytime soon;) So yes, I do love 'lee Misha or Cas, but they can be my 'ler anyday(or Jensens/Dean's;)) Just some thoughts for you (P.s, is there gonna be a part 4 to wordless interruptions?💯👌🏼)

Holy moly, I found this musty message languishing at the bottom of my inbox from 2016. Yikes. The asker has since deactivated their blog, even. 😬 I don't know if you're still stalking around here under a different pseudonym but I promise I wasn't ignoring you on purpose! I agree with you wholeheartedly, here.

Wordless Interruptions (#series: wordless interruptions) topped out at three parts, but there's been lots of #ler!Cas since then in a bunch of other work, mine and others!

—

This concludes our regularly-scheduled inbox purge.

#ask #you people are too kind #anonymous #unluckiestwrench #lex.the.mockingbird #purpleheart!anon #butterfly!anon #waywardpenguinunknown #prompt

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xxisxxisxxis · 3 years

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Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Nine

Words: 4.1k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @edwardtriggerhandzz @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie @emariehorror @divaanya @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @abaldboi @liith-ium @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @ytwahsog @scarecrowmax @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @meetthesixxter @arianareirg @gingerspicetalks

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

I've never seen Nikki like this. I've rarely seen him cry, I've never seen him cry sober, and I've never even known it was possible for him to let himself cry like this.

He's sobbing an excruciatingly painful cry, head between his knees, hands in his hair.

Is this how he felt when I was locked in the bathroom for hours, screaming and crying and wailing out sorrow after learning about him and Vanity? Helpless and shitty, knowing he'd go back and change what he did if he could but knowing that telling me that wouldn't make me feel any better?

I don't say anything. Amber doesn't say anything. We both just let him get it all out.

Minutes later, when he starts trying to calm down, he slowly wipes his eyes and glances up at me, before he starts up again, shaking his head, hanging his head low once again.

"Vivian," Amber says softly over him and I look at her. "Go to him." She mouths, motioning to him and I raise my brows.

Has she lost her fucking mind? He's probably pissed and distraught enough to choke me out, right now. He probably hates me, and I don't blame him.

"Go." She mouths, sternly, waving her hand in his direction and I take a heavy breath and slowly get out of my seat and very carefully step to him.

"Nikki," I say weakly, getting on my knees, my shaking hand rubbing his shoulder.

He wraps his arms around me, tight, pulling me to him, burying his face into my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He tells me, and I squeeze my eyes shut, squeezing him.

"It's not your fault, Nikki, it's not your fault." I assure him, holding back my own tears.

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry, Vivian." He argues through his tears.

We just hold each other, and when he calms down a little bit, Amber calmly says, "Nikki, why are you so upset over this?"

She knows why, she just wants him to confirm.

He pulls away from me and sniffles and I wipe his stray tears with my thumbs before reaching to her desk where she's holding out her box of tissues for me to grab.

"Because I know it's my fault."

"Why do you think it's your fault?"

"Because I had an affair, first, and she went to him because she was really hurt." He shakily lets out, trying to bring himself back down from his hysteria.

"Nikki, look at your wife." Amber says to him and he looks me in the eyes, obviously struggling not to look away. "Repeat after me, alright?"

He nods.

"Vivian, I'm sorry." She starts and more tears topple from his eyes.

"Vivian, I'm--" He takes a breath. "I'm sorry."

"That I made you feel,"

"Like you had no other choice,"

"But to go have sex with someone else,"

"Despite it being no fault of my own,"

"Despite it being…" He closes his eyes and sighs, as if trying to make this part engrain into his mind, "...no fault of my own,"

"Despite you being in charge of your body and what you do with it,"

"I am so sorry."

"Please, forgive me."

"Now, Vivian." Amber says to me, next, and I sniffle, looking at her. "Look at your husband."

I look at him and rub my lips together, nervously.

"Repeat after me." She adds and I nod. "Nikki, I'm sorry."

"Nikki, I'm sorry."

"That I made an irrational decision,"

"After years of hiding hurt and pain and heartbreak because of your irrational decisions,"

"But this is not your fault,"

"I no longer want to blame my mistakes on others,"

"You did not force me to get in bed with someone else,"

"You just made me feel like I didn't have a choice,"

"Because the pain of learning of your affair,"

"Put an irrational thought and sought out decision in my mind and I could not help myself enough to extinguish it."

"Please, forgive me."

"Okay," Amber nods, her voice soothing, "Nikki, what it is that you need to tell Vivian before you two continue to work on this relationship."

It's clear that this is something he's already discussed with her, and I wait patiently as he exhales, very, very, heavily.

I can't imagine what it looked like from outside the door of Amber's office. If a passerby happened to peek in the small little window of the door…

"Roxy, Vanity, Donna…" I shakily state.

I'm not in a ball, pleading with God to kill me like I was when I first found out he had dared to see another woman, but now that I know better…

"...And some others." His tears are dry now, as if he's mustering up all of his macho manliness to brace for impact when I start trying to hit him.

"Some others?" I clench my jaw, my nails digging into his jeans where they're resting over his kneecaps and he rubs his face.

"A few others." He says next, avoiding a definite number.

"How many is a 'few'?" I grit out and he looks at Amber.

"Tell her." She encourages him, sternly.

"Nikki,"

He lets out a breath and he clears his throat.

"If a 'few' were to have a number, about how many would it be that you've had some exchange that would be considered cheating in your wife's mind, from the time you got married to now." Amber adds.

"Around two-hundred." He admits.

I think he's kidding at first, over exaggerating or being sarcastic because I can't fathom sleeping with two hundred people in four years while in a supposed committed relationship.

"You're full of shit." I let out a terrified chuckle and he closes his eyes for a second. "Seriously, Nikki, what's the number?"

"Why does it matter? You're staying with him after one, aren't you?" Amber asks and I look at her.

"Maybe a little more than that, maybe a little less, I didn't try to keep count." He mumbles.

"Y-You've slept with…you…" I feel a prickling, scalding heat all over my skin.

I get myself away from him to try to calm myself down, but I can't.

It's like putting baking soda and vinegar together.

"Nikki, why did you do that?" Is all I can get out that isn't about how much I hate him right now.

"The same reason you went to him. Because I felt like I didn't have any other option and I was desperate."

"Desperate for what?!" I demand, enraged, now.

"Vivian," Amber starts but I completely cut her short.

"I went to Duff because I had spent years in a marriage with a junkie that did everything he could to choose drugs over me and throw me to the fucking wolves!"

"And I spent years in a marriage to an ungrateful bitch that I couldn't ever make happy!" He snaps next, standing up.

"I would've been plenty happy had you sobered the fuck up!"

"You'd lay in bed for weeks at a time and refuse to take your fucking medication and then wouldn't even let me try to touch you, Vivian, and God fucking knows the times you'd actually let me try to get it in, you'd lay there like sex with me was the most boring chore in the fucking world! And the times you weren't like that, you'd still manage to watch me break my back to make you happy and then spit in my fucking face and act like it wasn't ever gonna be enough, that I wasn't ever gonna be a enough!"

"I was depressed, Nikki!"

"Trust me, I know, I fucking know!" He shouts back.

An ear piercing screech makes us both shut up and wince, and I see Amber holding an airhorn.

"I don't yell." She states, a brow raised as she looks at us. "Sit down. Both of you." She orders next and we both slowly sit down, taking deep breaths. "No wonder you're in such bad shape--neither of you know how to talk to each other. You just talk at each other and start yelling when the other person gets defensive over you talking at them." She snaps, shaking her head a little. "And quit cursing at each other. That's another reason you're in this mess. You're both bitter and poisonous and contaminating each other." She adds, sternly, and we slink down in our chairs. "Vivian, he has shot you, he has strangled you, publicly humiliated you, he has chosen everything under the sun over you, but you draw the line at the fact he's had sex with two-hundred other women?"

I don't say a word.

"Why is that the thing that's going to break the camel's back? When you come in here pregnant with another man's baby and got him on his knees crying and telling you it's his fault?" She goes in on me. "Go from crying and boohooing together to calling each other awful names and cursing and 'eff this' and 'eff that' and 'eff you'--can I tell you something? You can't stand each other now but once upon a time you must've really liked whatever it is that drives you crazy about the other person because you chose each other and married each other." She reminds us. "And I know it isn't just the drugs that cause fights because he's completely sober today and you're jumping on him for being honest with you when there's been times he has lied through his teeth to hell and back to you." She looks at me. "And you," she looks at Nikki. "I better not hear you ever call your wife a 'bitch' again. She's not a dog, even though you love to talk to her like she is one."

Again, we're both quiet.

"Vivian, how do you feel about Nikki admitting to you that he's been unfaithful?" She asks.

"You can't tell how I feel?" I smartly ask.

"Screaming and cursing isn't explaining how you feel. I don't specialize in translating foolishness--I specialize in helping people heal through positive communication--not verbal abuse." She replies. "Now, how do you feel about what your husband shared with you?"

"I'm mad."

"Why?"

"Because…" I feel tears come to my eyes.

"Because why?"

I sniffle.

"You two talk to each other like you've never had to walk through something and communicate peacefully and calmly about a situation." She says next, handing me a tissue.

"We haven't, really." Nikki admits while I'm occupied with trying to stop my crying.

"You've been together for six years, nearly seven, and you've never talked through a disagreement or bump in the road?"

We both just avoid looking at her.

"You just yell and scream until one of you finally gives up in the argument and drops it completely?" She asks next.

"Basically." He says.

"Sex." I add, wiping my nose. "We usually just sleep together and then we're over whatever it is we were fighting about." I explain and she raises her brows.

"I promise you, none of it's been taken care of or gotten over. Anything you've fought about in the past that you tried to fix with sex has all been pent up and built up over the years and has been coming out within the last year, especially, in some form of abuse or neglect to the other person." She informs us. "And that's why you're so angry." She tells me. "Because that is a potent form of intimacy that you have on a pedestal and it's important to you. And while you've been using it over the years as a means to make things right with him, and to try to be intimate with him and reconnect with him while he's been closed off on drugs and not himself, he's been going out and giving it away to whoever."

I nod because it's true and she nods with me.

"I know why he went to so many other women and we'll get to that in a moment, why did you start your relationship with the now father of your child?" She asks me calmly.

"Because I was tired." I admit, my tears finally subsiding. "And I was hurt, and I just needed to be with someone who wouldn't hurt me."

"You needed someone who would protect you."

"Yes." I agree, sniffling.

"There's a theme that keeps reoccurring with you and it's overexposure and need of protection," She tells me and I nod, "Which is typically what fathers are in charge of in the household so tell me what your dad was like while you were growing up." She says and I lick my lips, smiling, thinking of my dad.

"The best dad in the world. He'd help me get ready for recitals if my mom couldn't, he'd take me anywhere I needed to go, he'd help me sneak things past my mom like records or clothes she wouldn't approve of or whatever, he'd be there if I needed to talk about anything--with no judgement--he was really good to me, and he still is." I tell her and she nods, smiling.

"What I'm about to say isn't meant to belittle all the wonderful things he's done for you or undermine the work he's put in to raising you the best he could, but with your incredibly abrasive mother," she starts, "would he ever step in when she was tearing you down or would he just try to keep the peace?"

"He did a couple times but for the most part he'd just tell me to ignore her and wouldn't start anything with her while she was doing it."

"So he didn't protect you when he should have?"

I stop for a moment, and look at her, pointedly.

"I'm not saying he didn't love you or care for you and didn't look out for you--but when it came to your mother, did he or did he not do everything he could to protect you from her mental, spiritual, and emotional abuse?"

"No." I breathe out shakily.

"So you went from a father who didn't protect you and allowed you to be exposed to things you should not have been exposed to, to a husband who didn't protect you and allowed you to be exposed to things you should not have been exposed to."

I nod again.

"Do you know why he's had sex with so many women?"

I shake my head.

I don't think, "because he hates me," would be an acceptable answer.

"Do you know why you've had sex with that many women while you were with Vivian?" She asks Nikki and he thinks about it for a second.

"...I was bored." He says and she chuckles humorlessly.

"Just a second ago you were throwing in her face that you went where you were going to feel appreciated. So put your ego aside." She states, furrowing her brows. "'I did the drugs because I was bored, I slept with all those women because I was bored, I put my wife through a living hell because I was bored'." She mimics so he can see how he sounds when he says it. "I don't think the man sitting here, crying over his wife getting pregnant with another man, had sex with one other woman, let alone two-hundred just because he was bored." She states, matter of fact. "Put this tough guy persona away and just be honest."

He gets really quiet, his leg shaking as his foot taps.

"Do you know the situation with his mother?" She asks me, suddenly.

"I know the gist of it, he hasn't told me much about it." I tell her and she looks at him.

"You expect your wife to understand why you do the things you do but you don't give her the information to piece together why you are the way you were brought up to be." She tells him. "We're out of time, but at some point before we meet again on Saturday, I want you to talk about your relationship with your mother." She says and he nods, hesitantly.

I look at him and can't bring myself to even say goodbye to him before I'm getting up and leaving.

I can barely make it to my car without nearly tripping, tears clouding my vision.

I get inside and hold my chest, feeling as if my heart is breaking all over again.

Neither of us know each other anymore. I don't recognize him, not even sober, and I know he doesn't recognize me.

Is this even worth it after all we've done to each other?

I wrinkle my nose slightly as I put my big toe up the bathtub's water faucet, expecting a big spider or something to bite me.

Dropping my foot back into the water, I let out a breath.

I've been sitting in luke warm water that was hot once upon a time.

Now my skin's pruned and I'm waiting to get the motivation to just get up.

It's the first attempt at self-care in two days and it's only because Nikki's been wanting to fool around and I haven't felt like it.

I'm hoping being clean helps me feel like it.

There's two knocks at the bathroom door before he's barging in, giving me a smile that brings his dimples to life.

"I have food in the kitchen whenever you get out." He tells me, stepping to the tub, sitting on the edge of it.

"I'll be there in a little bit." I assure him.

"That's what you said an hour ago, Vivian." He reminds me harmlessly and I look at him and force myself to smile a tad.

"Oh." I reply.

There's a pause between us and he rubs the back of his neck.

"Vivian, are you okay?" He asks, and I look up at him, forcing myself not to cry, and nod.

"I'm fine, baby," I lie. "Just tired is all."

"Still? You've been in bed for, like, nearly three days." He points out.

"I'm just tired, Nikki." I repeat in the same tone, trying to sound convincing.

He's not buying it, and when drops of tears push past my lashes, I know I'm no longer selling it.

"I think maybe you need to get back on your medication." He suggests very quietly, as if saying it too loud is going to cause me to have a meltdown.

"I don't need to be on it." I argue, wiping my eyes, sniffling and trying to force myself to stop crying.

"Vivian, you're not fucking happy."

"You don't know that."

"I know when you're happy and when you're not." He points out…"Do I need to get you something or buy something or--"

"--I don't want anything, Nikki." I state.

"Well, I do." He informs me. "I wanna see my wife happy, again, genuinely happy. Not that fake bullshit you put on for me." He clarifies. "So, just--"

"--Get out." I say, shutting him down, not wanting to hear about it.

He rolls his jaw and nods, getting up and leaving.

He's back with a glass of water and my bottle of Nardil, putting them both on the side of the tub and standing over me to make sure I take it like he wants me to.

I look at him, hurt, my brows furrowing, my eyes cutting at him, anger coursing through me as more tears topple down my cheeks and tense up.

"Get out." I repeat.

"I'm not leaving until you stop being stubborn and take the damn--"

The water is slung at him while the glass is thrown at the mirror as, "get out!" Screeches out of my throat as I open the bottle and try to ring it in the toilet, sending pills flying in all directions while the bottle with a majority of the pills plops into the water all while I'm repeatedly screeching, "get out, get out, get out!" as tears sting my cheeks.

"Vivian, fuck--"

I'm hauling myself out of the tub and he avoids my violent intent by finally leaving, slamming the door behind him, and I slip and catch myself on the door knob, making sure to lock it as waves of weight push me to the floor, my chest hurting, my body aching, my spirit crying out to God for mercy.

I should have told him then about my recurrent miscarriages, I just didn't know how to. I just let myself take it and deal with it on my own and he took it as me being batshit crazy and depressed. I was, truthfully, but I had reason to be. I struggled with my medication because I didn't want to have to take a pill to be happy, but I was also beginning to think it was ruining my body and skewering each pregnancy. It wasn't, but I didn't know that, so I'd take it for a while, wean myself off, and ease back into it whenever I felt like I needed to through the years. I don't think I ever went a full complete year without purposely getting myself off of it at least once.

I shut my car door as I get out, raising my brow at the site of Duff's car in my driveway, stepping to the front door.

I haven't heard anything from him.

Which I've been prepared not to. I can play the kid off as Nikki's if I have to.

He didn't say anything yesterday when I told him I was pregnant. I mean, literally, nothing.

I sat for twenty minutes just waiting for him to try to discuss it but all he did was sit and stare off into space, his face ghost white while Mandy excused herself to their room and probably cried the rest of the night.

I guess he's got something to say, now.

I go inside, putting my kids on the little table next to the door, kicking my heels off and carrying them in my hand.

I turn the light on when I get out of the foyer, and see Duff passed out on the couch.

He's got a vodka bottle tucked under his arm and put my stuff down and go over to him, taking the bottle away before he spills it on the couch.

He takes in a breath, waking up and rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, Viv," he tells me, sitting up the best he can, trying to pry the sleep from his eyes.

I sit on the coffee table across from him, sighing out.

"Hey, Duff," I reply, looking at him.

"What time is it?" He asks me, next.

"Four o'clock." I inform him.

"Oh," he mumbles, being quiet for another moment. "You look pretty." He says next and I smile a little.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He chuckles. "Which I guess that's what got us into this mess in the first place." He adds. "Well, not you being pretty--just me being a dumbass." He slurs, taking a deep breath.

"Is Mandy okay?"

"Yeaaaah, she's not too happy with me right now." He admits. "I never told her about me and you when we got back together."

"Oh." I say.

"Oh." He repeats.

"You know, Duff, you don't have to do all this…" I start, rubbing my lips together. "...If you're not comfortable with trying to make this work--because it's pretty unconventional--I'm not gonna be upset with you."

"I had a shitty dad who left my mom to deal with bullshit she shouldn't have had to deal with by herself and I'm not doing that to you. That's fucked up. I did the crime, I can do the time." He states, tiredly.

"I'm not gonna be by myself," I remind him, "Nikki's upset but he's not disowning me or anything." I add and he scoffs.

"Of course he isn't." He sighs. "I think Mandy's still gonna stay with me. She hasn't thrown out her ring, so…"

"Her ring?" I ask him, furrowing my brows.

"I asked her to marry me yesterday morning." He informs me.

"Oh, wow, tha-that's great, Duff."

Was it completely stupid for him to propose to Mandy not even seven weeks after we broke up? Absolutely. Was it completely stupid of him to marry her three months later? Absolutely. Was I going to piss on his parade more than I already had? Absolutely not.

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

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cocastyle · 5 years

Text

The In-Between Chapter 6

Stranger Things x It Crossover

with some Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 7,455

Warning - cursing (if people don’t like that kind of stuff)

A/N- so I kind of got carried away with this chapter and wrote over 7000 words lol, but I couldn’t really split this chapter up considering what’s about to come in the next chapter so I just left it as is (the next chapter is going to have so many interactions with the two groups you won’t be ready!) I really hope you all like this chapter because I worked hard on it and am actually really proud of the way it turned out! leave a comment with your thoughts on the chapter and with any predictions that you have for the future🤩

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

T H E I N - B E T W E E N

Intro The Losers’ Club The Party Prolouge 1 2

3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Epilogue

"Wh-Wh-What is she doing?" Bill whispered as he gently nudged Y/N's side.

The girl stared ahead at Eleven who was busy putting a radio on a station that only had static playing before she glanced at Bill. She sent him a small smile that had him blushing and smiling back. "You'll see," she whispered.

Y/N let out a small gasp as she remembered something and quickly disappeared up the stairs and into her house before returning a few seconds later with a cloth in her hand. She walked over and handed it to Eleven who gave her a small smile before beginning to fold it and wrap it around her eyes like a blindfold.

"A blindfold?" Richie asked. He then smirked before winking in Eleven's direction. "Kinky. Now all we need is some handcuffs and-"

"Beep beep Richie!" the Losers Club cried out while the Party all looked at Richie in disgust.

Y/N shook her head at the boy before looking to the Party with an apologetic smile, "Sorry about him. He hadn't quite matured yet if you can't tell."

"Hey!" Richie complained.

"Oh hush," Y/N told him making the boy pout. She chuckled and ruffled his hair much to his annoyance before she turned her attention back to Eleven who was finished setting up.

"Remember, you have to be quiet," Y/N reminded the Losers, making a point to stare at Richie longer than the others. They all nodded before looking to Eleven who was now sitting on the ground, the radio static playing behind her.

The room was so quiet that one could have heard a pin drop. The prospect of Eleven doing something that could help them with their mission to find Mine being enough to make even Richie keep his mouth shut.

It took a minute, but Eleven suddenly let out a small gasp before whispering, "Mike."

Y/N noticed Wheeler frown a little at that seeing as she was talking about a different Mike instead of him. It was unusual that was for sure and Y/N had thought it was weird knowing two Mikes as well when she first moved to Derry. But since she had called him Wheeler since they were kids, calling Mike Hanlon by his first name hadn't been too weird for her.

"I. . .I see him," Eleven whispered out making the Losers all furrow their eyebrows and look to Y/N confused. She just gave them a look and gestured towards Eleven in response and they all looked back to the girl who had some blood starting to peak out from her nose.

"He. . .He's hiding by some water," Eleven said.

"The quarry," Y/N muttered as she looked to the others. Their eyes widened slightly and they watched as Y/N walked over and bent down in front of her friend.

Y/N reached out and gently took ahold of Eleven's hand, the girl instantly latching onto hers in return. "Tell Mike that we're coming for him," Y/N whispered, tears springing in her eyes. "Tell him he's going to be okay."

"Your friends. . .they're coming for you. Hang in there, Mike. You're going to be okay," Eleven muttered, although Y/N knew she was talking to Mike Hanlon.

"Hurry," a voice suddenly came from the radio causing the Losers and Y/N to jump in surprise at the sound of their friend's voice. "Please hurry."

Eleven's face then scrunched up in pain and she let out a loud gasp before ripping the blindfold from her face. Her eyes frantically looked around before locking with Y/N's. "He's okay," she assured him. Y/N wiped away her tears and gave Eleven a small smile before hugging her friend in thanks.

"What the fuck was that?”

The two girls pulled away from each other to see the Losers looking more confused then ever. "What the fuck just happened?" Richie questioned, his eyes wide. "What did she do and how the hell does she know that Mike is okay?"

Y/N took in a deep breath before standing up and slowly approaching her friends. "Guys, so Eleven kind of has these powers. She was able to mentally connect with Mike and get a picture of where he was and give him a message," Y/N explained.

"I'm sorry. What?" Stan asked confused.

"Powers like superpowers?" Ben questioned.

"I guess," Y/N replied. "I know it's hard to understand but-"

"Hard to understand? It's crazy! You know what, I'm calling bullshit," Richie announced.

"But Mike's voice-" Y/N began.

"We don't even know if that was his voice because all I could hear was a bunch of fucking static! How am I supposed to believe you when the only thing that I saw happen was that girl get a fucking nosebleed and bleed all over your basement?" Richie asked.

Wheeler narrowed his eyes at the boy and went over to his girlfriend who he helped off the ground while Eleven wiped the blood from her nose. He was about to say something when he saw Y/N raise an eyebrow at the boy and cross her arms.

"You want proof? Evidence?" Y/N questioned, not a look of hesitation on her face. Richie was silent before nodding his head. "Okay, asshole. Here's your fucking proof."

She then walked over to one of the closet doors of the basement before opening it and walking back over to the group. Richie was about to question her when the door slammed shut making him and the other Losers all jump in surprise.

The door then began to open and slam shut repeatedly and Richie was hesitant before he turned to look at Eleven who had one hand up in the air. The door slammed shut for a final time and Eleven lowered her hand before wiping the small bit of blood below her nose away.

"Holy shit! She's an X-Men!" Eddie exclaimed in disbelief making Dustin chuckle since he had thought the same thing when he first met Eleven.

Y/N smirked and looked to Richie while the other Losers and the Party watched the girl in amusement. "That enough proof for you?" she asked.

Richie made a face in response and Y/N chuckled before looking between the groups and clapping her hands together. "Now. . .we may know that Mike is okay right now, but that doesn't mean he will be forever. We need to start making plans and preparing because first thing after school tomorrow, we are going to the Well House to save Mike and kill those other motherfuckers before it's too late. Everyone okay with that?" Y/N announced.

The Parry and the Losers' Club all nodded in agreement and Y/N smirked.

"Great. Let's get to work."

- - -

Bill bit his lip in concentration as he used a ruler to draw lines through the map of Derry. His job, and the job of all the Losers, was to split a map of Derry up into four different sectors. When they left to go find Mike tomorrow, half of the whole group would be staying behind while the other half broke off into pairs and searched the specific sections of the Upside Down's version of Derry.

Since the Upside Down was pretty much a replica of the real world, Y/N had thought it would be a good idea to use a map of Derry to break up the sections. Because the Losers knew Derry the best, they had offered to split the map up while the Party got weapons ready seeing as they knew what would work best against a demogorgon if it were to attack.

Y/N had started out with the Losers at first, but it hadn't taken long for her to migrate over to the Party whom she had been spending the last hour with. The Losers hadn't thought much of it at first, but they couldn't help but notice the way she seemed to totally forget about them as she laughed and joked around with the Party, a smile on her face that looked nothing like the usual smile they got to see.

Bill had to force himself not to look up, reminding himself that Y/N was just excited to see her friends again. That's why Bill had put all his effort into the maps he was making, Beverly being the only other person to help him while Stan, Ben, Eddie, and Richie all watched Y/N and the Party with frowns on their faces and jealously coursing through their blood.

Glares were on the four boys faces and they only narrowed their eyes more at the sight of Y/N with her arms linked with Will as she talked to Steve and Lucas. "She forgot about us," Stan whispered softly, sadness laced in his voice despite his angered appearance.

"I can't believe it," Ben muttered, feeling awful at the idea that the Party made Y/N happier than they did. Him and the others could tell by the look of pure joy on her face just how much happier she was around the Party and that only fueled their jealousy more.

"Well believe it, Benny. We're yesterday's news," Richie frowned, glaring slightly as a bitter taste filled his mouth.

"Look how happy they make her. I don't think I've ever made her laugh that hard," Eddie muttered sadly as he too came to the realization that Y/N was happier around the Party than she was around them.

"It's cause you're not funny, Eds," Richie shot back. "No wonder Y/N left us. We're a bunch of losers literally."

"Sh-Sh-Shut up," Bill called out, tired of their behavior and tones.

Richie whirled around so fast that he whacked Eddie who let out a cry of protest. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he said as he looked at Bill in disbelief. When Bill didn't look up, Richie stomped over to his friend. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Are you really so blind that you don't see your girl over there with her arms fucking linked with another boy? He's stealing her right in front of your eyes, dumbass. How are you not the slightest bit mad or jealous?" Richie asked. "Cause me being Y/N's friend and seeing her talking to them and not us is making me mad and I'm not the one that had a crush on her."

Bill frowned at that and looked up, but he froze at the sight of Y/N laughing at something Dustin had told her as she leaned into Will and wiped at her tears. Her arm was linked with Will's like Richie had said and she was resting her head on his shoulder as she looked up at Dustin with a huge grin on her face.

Bill's heart broke at the sight.

Bill cleared his throat and quickly looked away, blinking fast to keep the tears from coming. "Sh-Sh-She's not my g-g-girl. She can d-d-do whatever the h-h-hell she w-w-wants," he muttered.

Richie felt a wave of guilt wash over him once he realized how upset he had just made his friend, but Y/N's laughter had him turning back to look at her, a new wave of anger washing over him at the fact that she was now hurting Bill without even knowing it.

"How can someone be that funny? I mean, there's no way!" Richie exclaimed.

"Aren't they supposed to be gathering weapons anyways? Not joking around?" Stan asked.

"They did gather weapons," Ben pointed out as he gestured towards the few crowbars, bats, and other weapons they had gathered. "They even got flashlights and rope."

"Still, how are they so funny? Especially that Wheeler kid. She must be laughing at how funny looking he is," Richie concluded making the others raise their eyebrows at him.

Beverly rolled her eyes at Richie before glancing at Bill who was busy glaring at Will and Dustin. Beverly scoffed and stood up causing the Losers to all snap their attention over to her.

"Are you all being serious right now?" Beverly asked while the boys all gave her confused looks, not understanding what she was getting at. "You know that Y/N cares about each of you more than life itself, but you also need to understand that she can care about other people just as much. They were her first friends, guys. That group went through so much shit together just like we have and they haven't seen each other in two whole years!"

The boys didn't respond and Beverly just gave them an angry look as she narrowed her eyes. "I swear to God if Y/N hears one word from your jealous asses I will kill you. Now stop being self conscious pussies and be happy for your friend," she spat before she stormed away from the group and over to the Party.

They watched as Y/N's eyes lit up at the sight of Beverly before she grabbed the girl's arm and pulled her over to Max and Eleven, the four girls instantly falling into conversation. The boys all felt a wave of guilt wash over them, but none of them felt like going over and trying to talk to Y/N or the rest of the members of the Party.

It took only a minute before Richie, Eddie, Stan and Ben returned to their complaining as they watched their friend, but Bill took the longest to return back to what he had been doing before. His eyes were still on Y/N and his heart ached as he watched her.

He knew there was some truth to Beverly's words, but it was hard to believe everything she said after he had seen how happy Y/N was. How come he couldn't make her laugh like that? Or smile like that?

He would do anything to be in the receiving end of that smile. Hell, he would probably swoon at the sight.

Did she not like him the way he thought she had? For a moment he had thought she maybe returned his feelings, but now he wasn't so sure. If she had then he would be able to make her that happy, right?

Bill let out a small sigh and took in a deep breath before going back to the maps, trying everything in his power not to let his feelings get to him so much. But even he couldn't stop the one traitor tear from falling down his face as he realized he would never be able to make Y/N as happy as he had hoped.

If only he knew how he looked in Y/N's eyes. Then maybe he wouldn't have doubted himself and maybe he wouldn't have ended up hurting her later that night.

- - -

"Y/N!" Eleven cried out as she jumped onto the girl from behind, a laugh escaping her lips as she wrapped her arms around her giggling friend who had been busy sorting through the weapons with Steve and Wheeler.

"El!" Y/N mockingly yelled back as she looked over her shoulder at her friend.

Eleven chuckled and got off of her before glancing over at Steve and Wheeler. "I'm going to steal her for a few minutes," she said. She didn't bother waiting for a response from the boys before she was dragging Y/N away and over to where Beverly and Max were sitting.

"No, yeah I love your hair! I always wanted to try and cut mine short, but I'm afraid it will turn out bad," Max said as she looked at Beverly's haircut. "Who cut your hair because it looks so good!"

"I did actually," Beverly told her.

"No way!" Max gasped. "It looks so good, Beverly!"

"Thanks," Beverly said before she happened to notice Eleven and Y/N walking up to them. "Oh, hey Y/N!"

"Hey," Y/N greeted as Max also turned to look at her friends. Max's eyes lit up at the sight of the girl and she was quick to stand up before her and Eleven practically shoved Y/N into the place Max had just been sitting.

"Woah, okay," Y/N muttered as she adjusted herself so that she was more comfortable. When she looked back up, Eleven and Max were looking at her expectantly while Beverly gave her an apologetic smile.

"What?" Y/N asked, her eyes narrowing in curiosity as she wondered what her friends were up to.

"So we've been talking to Beverly," Max began. "She was telling us some funny stories about you when we heard some interesting stuff and-"

"Tell us about you and Bill!" Eleven interrupted, her eyes shining with excitement as she clasped her hands together and tucked them under her chin.

Y/N's eyes widened. "Me and Bill? Wh-What about me and Bill?" she asked. "We're just friends."

Max and Eleven both gave each other a look before raising their eyebrows at their friend. "Come on. We can tell by the way you look at him that you like him. Just admit it," Max prompted.

"What?" Y/N asked, her voice high and her face a dark shade of red. "Me like Bill?"

"Friends don't lie. You like him, Y/N. Admit it," Eleven insisted.

Y/N blushed even more before burying her face into her hands. "Okay, I like him," she whispered, not looking up to watch as her friends let out squeals and began to whack each other.

"We knew it!" Max exclaimed. "Beverly already told us, but like, we knew it!"

Y/N lifted her head to glance over at Beverly who smiled sheepishly. "They did already know it," Beverly said.

"So it's that obvious?" Y/N asked with wide eyes filled with horror at the thought of Bill knowing that she liked him.

"To everyone but you two," Eleven said.

"Yeah, Bill's kind of oblivious," Beverly agreed. "I don't think he knows."

Y/N let out a small sigh of relief causing Max to raise an eyebrow. "Would it be so bad if he did?" the red head asked.

"I mean, I guess not," Y/N whispered as she looked down. She would love to be able to tell Bill how she felt, to let him know just how much he meant to her even if he didn't feel the same way.

"But," Beverly said, already knowing that wasn't all the girl had to say.

"What if it ruins our friendship? What if he doesn't feel the same way?" Y/N asked.

The three girls' mouths dropped open at the same time before they all laughed. "First of all, he does feel the same way. It's obvious just by the way he looks at you like you're an angel walking on this earth," Max said.

"Secondly, it won't ruin your friendship," Eleven told her.

"What they said. I'm pretty sure that even if you and Bill went south that you two would still be friends. You two have been close ever since you moved here, Y/N. He wouldn't be the type of person to push you away like that. Besides, I wouldn't let him and I'm sure El and Max wouldn't either," Beverly said.

"Yeah, we'd beat his ass," Max agreed while Eleven nodded her head in agreement.

Y/N chuckled and smiled softly at her friends. "Thanks. I love you all so much," she said causing Eleven, Max, and Beverly to smile before they pulled the girl in for a group hug.

When they pulled away, they thankfully let the topic of Bill drop. Max and Eleven began talking to Beverly about her hair again and about her relationship with Ben while Y/N slowly zoned out.

She let her eyes flicker over to Bill who was across the room still working on the maps and trying to fold them. As if sensing her gaze, his eyes flickered up and locked with hers. Y/N sent a small smile in his direction, but to her surprise he didn't even smile before he just looked down at the maps again.

Y/N blinked in surprise before quickly looking away with a sad look on her face, not noticing the way that Bill looked back up at her sadly after.

- - -

It was around eleven o'clock that night before Y/N heard Ben call out, "We'll see you in the morning, Y/N!"

The girl quieted down her laughter and looked away from Lucas and Wheeler and over to where Beverly and Ben were standing by the stairs. Y/N was quick to get up and she smiled as she made her way across the room to hug both Ben and Beverly.

At the sight of her smile and the fact that she had left her other friends just to hug him goodbye, Ben suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he realized how wrong he had been earlier for judging the girl and for complaining about her hanging out with her other friends.

"Night, guys. I'll see you in the morning," Y/N said before pulling away to look for the others. Her smile slowly disappeared once she realized that Richie, Eddie, Stan, and Bill were all gone.

"Where. . .where did the others go?" Y/N questioned as she looked to Ben and Beverly confused.

Ben looked down at his shoes before saying, "They all left a little bit ago. Bill went first and then Richie, Eddie, and Stan followed not too long after."

"Why?" Y/N asked, trying not to sound upset. "They didn't even start goodbye."

Ben didn't respond and Y/N frowned before saying, "Uh. . .I guess I'll see you guys in the morning, yeah?"

Beverly and Ben nodded with small smiles before turning to go up the stairs. "Bye, Y/N," the two called out before disappearing into the night.

Y/N kind of stood there for a moment after the door closed behind them, her thoughts racing as she tried to think of a reason for her friends' sudden departure. Had she done something wrong? Were they okay?

Hands on her shoulders made her jump slightly, but she instantly relaxed when she looked over her shoulder to see Steve standing right behind her. He titled his head slightly and gave her one of his warm smiles before asking with a hint of worry on his voice, "You okay, squirt?"

Y/N turned completely to face him before smiling softly and hugging the boy. She dug her face into his side and he wrapped his arms around her with no questions asked. Y/N was silent as she breathed in his scent, a small feeling of familiarity and her childhood washing over her.

"I'm doing good," she whispered, her heart warm due to the fact that her two friend groups had finally met and she had them both by her side. "I'll be better when Mike's home though. He's so sweet and kind. We like to go out to his farm sometimes and I'll help him with the animals. You're going to love him."

"As long as he's not like Trashmouth, I'm sure I will," Steve laughed making Y/N chuckle softly as she pulled away to look at the boy.

"Oh, Richie's not that bad. He can take things far and curse most of the time, but he's got a kind heart and he is probably one of the best people you'll meet once you really get to know him," Y/N said, a smile on her face as she talked about her friend.

"They all are in fact. I mean, you've got Stan who is easy to relate with. When he knows I'm having a bad day, he always takes me bird watching and doesn't pester me with what's wrong, only stays by my side so I'm not alone. Then there's Ben who is the sweetest little human being you'll ever meet. He's the boy that will go to the library all the time with me just to research random things."

"We've got Eddie who is practically the mother of the group sometimes. He cares about my health more than I do and is always making sure that I'm okay. There's a little hammock in one of the group's hang out spots and he'll always sit with me and we'll read comics together. Then you've got Beverly who's a total badass. I tell her practically everything and I swear she knows more about me than I do. Every Saturday morning, we take a break from the boys and will go out to breakfast and catch up."

"Finally, you've got Bill. He's the one that I'm closest to out of all of them. He was my first real friend and helped me a lot on my first day of school," Y/N said. She looked down and smiled fondly as she whispered, "I'll never be able to pay him back for what he's done for me." She was quiet for a second before looking up at Steve and saying, "He means a lot to me. They all do really."

Steve smiled softly at the girl as she rambled in about her friends, a warm feeling of relief washing over him as he realized that Y/N has been fine and loved over the past two years.

"You really care about those friends of yours, huh?" Steve asked, a knowing look on his face.

Y/N smiled fondly and nodded her head as she softly said, "They're my best friends. I would do anything for them just like I would for you guys."

Steve's smile grew slightly at that, thankful that Y/N had some pretty great friends by her side. Y/N smiled back before turning to check and make sure that the weapons and maps were ready. Once she knew that they were, she clapped her hands together once before saying to the Party, "Okay, now that we have a plan to head out after school tomorrow and everything is all set up. . .who wants to watch a movie?"

The Party all perked up at that. "Yes! Star Wars please!" Will exclaimed.

"What? No, let's watch Back to the Future," Dustin complained.

"I vote Star Wars," Max agreed.

"Me too," Lucas said.

"No, guys. Back to the Future all the way," Wheeler argued while Eleven nodded her head in agreement.

"Back to the Future's the one where the mom is trying to hook up with her son, right?" Steve asked.

"I mean that's not the point of the movie, but yes," Y/N said with a small laugh.

"Okay, I vote that one," Steve said.

"Sorry, Will. I've got to go with Back to the Future which means that Back to the Future wins," Y/N said making the boy pout. Y/N just gave him a small smile which he returned before she gestured towards the stairs that led up to her house. "I'll be back."

In just a matter of minutes, Y/N had sprinted upstairs and found the movie. She had received a call from her parents a few hours before about how they had a last minute business conference an hour away that they had to go to and would be gone for the next couple of days, so it was no surprise that no one was around when she was running around trying to find the movie.

Upon finding the movie, Y/N began to make her way towards the basement when she paused next to the phone. She stared at it in silence for a moment before setting the movie down, picking up the phone, and dialing the number that she knew by heart due to the many late night conversations she had with the person on the other end of the line.

"H-H-Hello?"

"Bill?" Y/N said. "It's Y/N."

"Oh. H-H-Hi, Y/N," Bill muttered.

Y/N frowned slightly, but shrugged it off. "I just wanted to call and see if you were okay. You left early, so I wasn't sure if something was wrong," she said.

"I'm f-f-fine," Bill replied, leaving his reply at that and his tone coming out colder and sharper than usual.

Y/N blinked in surprise before nervously chuckling, "Oh, okay. That's good. Why. . .why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

"I w-w-was just tired which I s-s-still am. I'll s-s-see you in the m-m-morning, okay?" Bill told her.

"Oh, okay. Um. . .goodni-" but before Y/N could finish what she asked saying, the boy had hung up. Y/N stood there in silence, her grip on the phone loosening slightly as tears began to fill her eyes. Swallowing thickly, the girl blinked rapidly to stop her tears before taking in a deep breath.

Bill is just tired, she reminded herself. He's not trying to be mean.

Once she had calmed herself down, Y/N put a smile on her face and bounded down the stairs of her basement to have a movie night with her friends. They had all passed out within an hour, Y/N with her head against Steve's side, her feet in Dustin's lap and Will's head on her stomach. Just below them on the floor were Wheeler and Eleven cuddled up together and Max and Lucas doing the same thing.

Y/N found herself looking around the group for a quick second as she drifted in and out of consciousness. She couldn't help but smile as she remembered the nights like these that they used to have before she left Hawkins. Nancy and Jonathan had been with them too and Joyce and Hopper had been the ones to cover them all with blankets while they slept.

So with her friends surrounding her, Y/N fell asleep with memories of Hawkins and her old life filling her head.

- - -

Y/N didn't know what to think when she woke up the next day to find that everyone in the Losers' Club except for Beverly weren't talking to her. Bill hadn't even been waiting for her that morning like he usually did before they rode to school together.

Everyone was either avoiding her like Bill was or being weird and looking uncomfortable around her like Eddie was. Y/N didn't know what she had done wrong, so she went through the day having no one but Beverly by her side.

Y/N almost felt bad for having chosen to wear Bill's jacket to school that day, a sinking feeling in her gut as she thought that maybe that was only making Bill more mad at her. Beverly wouldn't tell her why he or the others were and at her in the first place, so Y/N didn't even know how to fix anything.

This meant that when lunch rolled around, it was even quieter than usual. It was actually completely silent and not even Richie had some snarky thing to say. The group all just ate their food in silence with Y/N sparing sad glances in her friends' directions while Beverly glared at the boys, pissed at the way they were acting.

Y/N tried to strike up a conversation a few times, but it always received a one word answer in response before silence followed. After a while, Y/N gave up and most of the lunch period was spent with the boys staring at their meals while Y/N stared at them with a saddened and hurt expression.

It wasn't until everyone was getting ready to leave that Y/N let out a sigh and said, "Hey, I don't know what I did, but I just wanted to tell you guys thank you for being so nice to my friends last night."

This surprised the group and they all slowly looked up at her, finally allowing their eyes to lock on her face.

"Those guys mean about as much to me as you guys do and I've been wanting to introduce you all for so long. I really hoped you guys liked them. Anyway, I'm rambling, but I really appreciate it," she told them as she gave them all a small smile despite the tears that had begun to fill her eyes.

The group all stared at her in silence as the bell rang behind them, signaling that the lunch period was over. Y/N let out another sigh and stood up as she grabbed her things. "Uh. . .I'll see you guys later," she whispered before hurrying away from the table and out of the cafeteria, leaving the boys feeling guilty.

Beverly shook her head at the boys as she stood up. "You guys are ridiculous. Not only did you not give her friends a chance last night, but now you're punishing Y/N for talking to her other friends instead of you by ignoring her? I'm disappointed in all of you," she said.

Her eyes flickered over to Bill and they narrowed. "Especially you, Bill. We all know you care about her, so why the hell would you treat her the way that you have been? She told me about the phone call last night. She called to check and see if your dumbass was okay and you were rude and snippy with her before you had the audacity to hang up on her? What the fuck were you thinking?" she asked in disbelief.

"You all need to apologize to Y/N for the way you have been acting. She has talked so highly of you to the others and you all have done nothing but prove her wrong. There's no way we are going to be able to help Mike and defeat the Upside Down and It with you all sad and not thinking straight. So man up and go apologize before you lose her for real," Beverly spat before she angrily got up from the table and stormed out of the cafeteria, no doubt going to try and find Y/N.

"Did you see how upset Y/N looked when she left?" Eddie whispered, a sinking feeling in his stomach as he broke the moment of silence that had fallen over them after Beverly left.

"She looked like she was about to cry," Ben said just above a whisper.

"We did that," Stan muttered, his head bowed as he stared at his hands sadly.

"Fuck," Richie muttered as a feeling of intense guilt hit both him and the other Losers. "We messed up big time, boys."

Bill was silent as he stared at the doors Y/N had walked through only moments before. He hadn't been blind and had noticed her wearing his jacket today, the sight making his heart flutter. But as he looked from the door to the jacket that Y/N had secretly left behind on her seat for Bill was enough to make his heart break.

Richie was right. They had messed up.

They had messed up bad.

- - -

The final bell of the day made Y/N feel both relieved and scared. Relieved because she was finally going to be able to save Mike, but scared because she would have to go back into the Upside Down and she had a sinking feeling in her gut about what was going to happen.

She hadn't seen the guys for the rest of the day, but Beverly had made sure to always stick by her side. That's how the two ended up leaving the school together with their arms locked and small laughs escaping their lips as Y/N told Beverly about the time Dustin sang the song 'Never-Ending Story' with his girlfriend Susie over a walkie talkie system for everyone to see.

"I'm not even kidding," Y/N laughed. "Just picture it. Everyone is either being chased by the fucking Mindflayer or trying to save the world and I'm sitting there watching Dustin sing his heart out with Lucas' little sister by my side. It was hilarious!"

Beverly laughed so hard that she snorted. "I bet it was. I can't believe-" she began, but she trailed off once she saw Y/N smile disappear as she froze beside her. Beverly turned her head to see what Y/N was looking at and instantly frowned at the sight of the boys all standing by their bikes waiting for the two girls.

Beverly released Y/N's arm and Y/an glanced at her friends before looking away and walking over to her bike. "I'm surprised you all waited for me," Y/N said in a monotone voice as she approached her bike.

Eddie was the first to break and he sighed before saying, "We're sorry for the way we've been acting."

Y/N froze at that and rested her hands on her bike handles before looking up at the group. "What?" she asked, both her and Beverly staring at the boys in surprise. Although Beverly was smiling slightly due to the fact that the boys were finally apologizing after a long day of no one talking to each other.

"Yeah, the way we acted was unacceptable," Ben agreed. "And we're sorry for that."

"We. . .we were jealous," Stan admitted making Y/N blink in surprise.

"Jealous?" she asked confused.

"We were jealous of your other friends. We. . .we thought you were forgetting about us, that you didn't care about us like you did them. So we turned into a bunch of fucking jealous assholes and hurt you in the process," Richie sighed and the fact that he was speaking his feelings was enough to make Y/N realize how serious they were being.

"Guys. . ."she whispered sadly, hating that she made them feel like that. "I don't want you to ever feel like that, okay? I love you all so fucking much that it scares me sometimes to be completely honest. I've known you for what, two years now? I've known the others my whole life, so of course things are going to be a little different around them. But that does not mean I don't love and care about you guys any less. The Losers' Club is my family, you guys are my family. You're my life honestly and I wouldn't trade moving here for the world."

The Losers' all teared up a little at those words and Ben was the first to drop his bike to go over and hug Y/N. The girl chuckled and hugged the boy back while the others quickly came over to hug her as well. She hugged Eddie and Stan before hugging Beverly and Richie who held her the tightest.

The one thing about Richie was that he tried to act like he didn't care when he actually cared the most, so Y/N made a point to hug him back just as hard which made the boy dig his face into her shoulder as he held her.

Once she had hugged each of them, she pulled away to see Bill kind of standing there by himself. The two hadn't hugged or even spoken to each other yet and Y/N knew that their talk was going to be a little longer and more personal than the other. Bill must've known too because he glanced at his friends and gave them a pleading look as he said, "C-C-Can you all give us a m-m-minute?"

"Yeah," Beverly said. "We'll ride on ahead and you two can catch up, okay?"

Then, before the others could complain, Beverly pushed the boys to their bikes and they all began to bike away. That left Y/N and Bill standing there at the front of the school with their bikes by their side.

Y/N looked down at her feet before whispering, "You done ignoring me now?"

There was a beat of silence and she slowly looked up through her eyelashes only to have Bill rush forward and hug her, the action making both of their bikes fall over and hit the ground. Y/N's arms were out in surprise, but she didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around the boy, closing her eyes as she breathed in his scent.

"I'm s-s-sorry," Bill whispered into her ear as he practically cradled her head against his body. "I'm so sorry. I let R-R-Richie get to me and the w-w-way I acted around you was un-un-unacceptable. I mean, even that ph-ph-phone call was rude. You w-w-were just checking up on m-m-me and I hung up on you w-w-without even giving a r-r-reason. I didn't mean to h-h-hurt you and I'm so s-s-sorry for that."

"Why'd you do it? What did Richie say?" Y/N asked softly as she pulled away to look at the boy.

"What Richie said wasn't important," Bill told her, his head bowed. "It was what I told myself that got in the way."

"And what did you tell yourself?" she questioned.

"I-I-I thought I c-c-couldn't make you as h-h-happy as they could," Bill admitted. "Th-Th-That I would n-n-never make you as h-h-happy as they could."

Y/N's face softened at that and she furrowed her eyebrows as she lifted a hand up and placed it against Bill's cheek. "Bill, why would you think such a thing?" she asked, the disbelief evident in her voice.

"The w-w-way you laughed. . .the way you s-s-smiled. . .I'd never seen you l-l-look that happy," Bill muttered.

"Bill, that's not true in any way, shape, or form," she assured him. Y/N lovingly rubbed her thumb against his cheek before smiling softly at him.

"I'm my happiest when I'm with you."

Bill blushed at that, his eyes flickering over her face before he leaned forward and rested his forehead against her own. The two both let their eyes close as they enjoyed this moment, their arms holding onto each other while their foreheads touched.

"I r-r-really am sorry," Bill whispered, not opening his eyes.

Y/N smiled softly and opened her eyes long enough so that she could push herself up on her tip toes and press a kiss to Bill's cheek. He instantly leaned into her touch, his arm that was around her pulling her even closer to his body if that was possible.

"I forgive you," Y/N assured him once she had pulled away, Bill turning his face so that their noses brushed against each other and their eyes locked. Both of their faces were red and they were silent for a moment before Y/N smiled and said, "You should know better than to listen to Richie."

Bill chuckled softly and pulled away to press a small kiss to her forehead before he pulled away from her and went over to his backpack. "Yeah, p-p-probably not my s-s-smartest move," he said as he opened his backpack and pulled out his jacket. The same jacket that Y/N had in her possession only a few hours before.

Y/N's smile dropped slightly at the sight. "Oh, I should've told you that I was leaving it for you. I hadn’t meant to keep it so long," she told him, but the boy only smiled and walked over to her with it in his hand.

"I-I-I want you to w-w-wear it," Bill admitted, both of the teens' faces growing redder by the second.

"Really?" Y/N asked, her face lighting up slightly and a hopeful tone in her voice.

Bill nodded and Y/N smiled before turning around. Bill held the jacket up and she slid her arms into the sleeves before Bill put the jacket on her the rest of the way. She turned around and gave the boy a teasing smile.

"So how do I look?" Y/N asked as she struck a few poses for him, a giggle escaping her lips as she did.

Bill chuckled and smiled fondly at the girl. "Beautiful," he told her. "Just like always."

Y/N blushed slightly before going to grab her bike. She picked it up before sending a small smile in Bill's direction. "Come on, Bill. It's time to go save our friend," she said.

And with that, the two got onto their bikes and began to bike after their friends, Bill's eyes locked on Y/N and his jacket that was blowing in the wind behind her.

* * *

Tag List

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

Text

LIGHT IT UP

Nestor Oceteva x Reader

Anon asked: What about rough sex with Nestor in Miguel’s house? He makes you stay quiet and fucks you in the bathroom because he couldn’t wait to get you homeee ahhhh i love nestor

Word Count: 1.9k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif credits: @angels-reyes.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou @sammskellington @gemini0410 @1-800-imagines @briana-mishell24 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Taking a last look in the mirror, turning on the high-heels, you sigh. You're pretty nervous 'cause finally Nestor is gonna introduce you to his boss, and also his best friend, Miguel. You want to make a good impression and you're not sure about the dress you chose, but you don't have time to change your outfit. So, going downstairs with shaky hands, you find your boyfriend waiting for you at the hall. He looks at you from top to down. Hundred times. You're doubting.

“What? Is that bad?” You ask with trembling voice.

Looking down and moving the skirt, you raise your gaze at him. The golden and sparkle dress is falling on you like a cascade with a pronounced neckline and bare back, with your long and curly hair place on it. You know it was a bad idea dressing something like that, but guessing that being Miguel's birthday the assistant should be ‘important’ people. Nestor doesn't say anything, till you're about to talk.

“You're fuckin' stunning”. He says walking towards you, holding and lifting one of your hand to make you go a full turn. “You're fuckin' beautiful, baby”.

His words makes you smile, leaning closer to kiss him softly. Offering you an arm, and taking it, he guides you to the car opening you the door. Even if he does what he does, when you two are together his attitude changes completely. You have seen him working, more or less, escorting Miguel's wife or his mother, and he looks so serious that sometimes surprises you when he laughs watching some tv-show with you lying on the sofa.

Placing one hand on your leg, Nestor drives to the luxurious house of the boss Cartel, knowing the road by heart. Some music is playing in the car, trying to focus your mind on the lyrics, so you don't think about Miguel believing you're not enough for his brother.

“He will loves you”. He says, staring at you for a second. “And if he doesn't do, I love you and that's all it matters”.

You nod biting your inner lip, before licking it feeling somewhat relaxed, putting a hand on his nape to leave some caresses. You love him too, since the first moment you met. And your parents do too. They're delighted with Nestor.

Some minutes after, you finally arrive to the house, decorated according to the celebration, with a lot of people reunited at the entrance next to their own cars. Porsche, Maserati, BMW (...). God, you're enjoying the views as the good mechanic you are. It's like if you were a child on a candy store. Your boyfriend parks next to a black Cadillac, walking faster to your door so he can helps you to go out of it. Then he guides you to the front door, being greeted by some men, recognizing them as politician. Shit, your legs are shaking.

“Brother!” Miguel walks towards you, hugging him and palming his back very lively.

“Are you already drunk, Mikey?” He laughs loud, infesting the older.

“No, not yet!” He shakes his head before turning to you. “Man, you won the lottery or something like, ah? Miguel Galindo, a pleasure”.

The boss Cartel holds your hand, pressing his lips on the back.

“Finally we meet”. He says then.

“Yeah, ahm... (Y/N), a pleasure too. Nestor talks a lot about you”. You reply with a kindly smile on your lips.

“I hope only good things”.

“I actually told her you're a pain in the ass”.

“My father used to say the same, but here I am!” He laughs. And you're sure he's a little drunk. “Let's have a drink. I'm gonna introduce you to my lovely wife”.

You nod whilst Nestor tangles your fingers with yours, leaving a kiss on your cheek. It isn't that bad as you thought. Till a blonde woman hugs your man so dearly that makes you feel jealous. Just a little.

“Hi! I'm Emily!” Now, you feel stupid when she hugs you too so happy to meet you. “So you're the one who stole Nestor' heart... I understand him”.

“Yes, more or less”. You chuckles, supporting your temple against his shoulder for a second.

“She's my wife”. Miguel says then, giving her a gently kiss.

“Come with me, it's kinda boring when they talk about business, even if they're not working”. Poisoned words covered by a friendly smile.

The woman grabs your hand, saying ‘bye’ with the other whilst she walks towards the swimming pool outside, having a seat on the garden sofa. Your gaze is traveling all around the place, really surprised about how huge the house is. You're sure you could get lost inside it. Miguel's wife serves you a glass of red wine, offering it with a smile.

“I was lookin' forward to meet you”. She says then.

“Yeah, me too. Nestor talks about you sometimes and I think we're similar”.

“Right? I told him!” You can't help but laugh cheering with both wines.

“It's good to have someone with I can complain about him”. Emily nods and laugh again because of your words.

“Yes... I feel you. Sometimes Miguel drives me crazy and not in the way I would enjoy it”. She says rolling his eyes and rubbing his forearm. “By the way, your dress is amazing. Where did you buy it?”

“Oh, ahm... My mom did it. It's her job”. You answer looking down for a second, before have a sip of the wine. “Don't you... think is ‘too much’? I was nervous about meeting ‘Nestor brother’”.

“What? Oh, no, no. It's perfect. And about my husband, you don't have to worry about. He gives an impression that it really is not”.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

You're not sure how much time has passed by, nor how much wine you have drunk talking with Emily between laughs and complainings, when both men going outside have a seat next to you two.

“Having fun, uh?” Miguel asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yep”. You nod, looking at your boyfriend with a goofy smile.

“I need to talk' you”. He whispers on your ear, making feel nervous from nowhere. He looks serious and it's not a good omen.

So, leaving your glass on the table and getting up holding his arm, you say goodbye for a few minutes. Crossing the big door to inside, you walk through the assistants worried and thinking that maybe Miguel said something about you. Now, you're about to cry making your own guesses in silence. Going upstairs, Nestor opens the door of a bathroom letting you come in.

“It's... everything ok? I'm sorry if I said som—”.

Before you're allowed to finish the sentence, he kisses you. You breathe heavy surrounding his neck with both arms, while he pushes you to the counter lifting you on.

“You scared me, asshole...” You grumble against his mouth.

“Yea', I know, it was kinda fun...” He laughs raising the skirt of your dress, nailing his hands tightly on your skin, touring your thighs till he finds the waistband of your panties.

“Nestor, they will hear us”. You try to say, with your hands moving faster to unzip the black pants of the suit.

“That's the game, babe. You have to be silent”. You know you can't. Not with him. Your boyfriend knows every weak point of your body, and how to push you to the sky. “Shit... It's 'cause you look so fuckin' hot I can't control myself”.

His lips travel to your neck, biting and sucking your skin being careful to not draw any bruise on it. You know how passionate he can be sometimes, and you always enjoy it, but you're ashamed of thinking that someone could hear you. He doesn't care. Not at all. And he's pretty hard when he spreads your legs to place his body into them.

“Let's see if you can be silent”. Nestor says challenging you with his gaze, pounding you with all his strength.

You're faster, covering your mouth with a hand and closing hard your eyes, containing a loud moan. You wrap his waist with both legs, pushing him deeper hitting your wetness once and again with the same pressure.

“Shit, babe... I love your pussy... It's so fuckin' tight, so fuckin' damp, my love...”. He gasps on your ear, drowning there his own growls.

“It's all yours, papi”. You say then, looking for his lips to sink your tongue between them till you find his.

It's a easy way to drown your moans and your curses, with every stroke making you squirm on his arms. The kiss goes filthy and rampant, heating your whole body and bristling your skin. You love him. So much. And even if sex it's not more important than that, he makes you feel you're in heaven with every hit rubbing your clit. The only thing you expect is that he doesn't ruin your outfit or it's gonna be even more embarrassing.

“Fuc'me harder, Nestor...” You beg almost huffing, knowing that you're close.

Wrapping tightly your legs and pushing him into you when he pounds you, drowning all your moans with your face sink on his neck, your boyfriend takes it as a command. He doesn't stop and he's not gonna do it till make you cum on his hard cock, making him feel proud to please you.

“My baby girl...” He groans chuckling, biting his neck softly as you can keep silent when you hear some steps outside walking closer.

You have to cover your mouth at the exact moment your body find the ecstasy, with his name stuck in your lips. It feels amazing. You kiss him, silencing some sobs of pleasure before he pull himself out, complaining about it.

“Kneel, my love”. He asks you, helping you to go down as he wants.

With a naughty smile on your face and letting him place his hands on your head, you leave a long lick with the toe of your tongue all over his cock, covered by your own taste. He pushes it into your mouth, groaning because of your warm breath wrapping his hardness. Nestor sets the pace, fucking your mouth with his head tilted back slightly. He thrusts your throat, keeping his glans pressing it for a second, before continue hitting it.

“You're like a fuckin' fantasy, holy fuck...” He mutters as he can, trying not to talk loud.

He fills your mouth without expecting, with a soft contained growl whilst you swallow without him asking for it. Your tongue runs all over his size, enjoying every gesture of his face, when he can't handle anything else. Nestor helps you to get up, before clean yourself and getting your clothes well on. He kisses you again more dearly, with his fingers caressing your back so lovely that makes you sigh.

“'Am not gonna do it now, but... wanna know what Mikey said 'bout you?” He asks then, from nowhere interrupting the needy kiss. You're not sure if you want to know it. “That I should marry you”.

Your heart stops for a second, pursing your lips because of the surprise.

“Would you like, uh? I mean, I'm not proposing you. Not now. That should be more special, than do it after fucking you in my boss' bathroom”. You laugh in silence, shaking your head full of lively.

“Yes, I would like”. You answers then, putting his tie on and smoothing the shirt with both hands.

“‘K, I'll keep it in mind”.

#mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #mayans mc x reader #mayans mc #nestor oceteva #nestor oceteva x reader #nestor oceteva imagine

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