#[ i'm definitely going to write and draw today ]

[ghostlyrps]

"Think you're so fucking smart. I kill bitches before they get away."

Ghost knew Valentino wasn't lying when he said that.

They sat at their desk, bloody, ruined clothes discarded, dressed in only their binder and a pair of shorts. They'd relocated their arm, which had been a bitch and a half to do, patched themself up, and now sat at their desk. Their half-finished commission- or, rather trade- was shoved off in the corner to keep the blood off it, and while for a moment they pondered working on it, they decided not to.

They weren't in any space to be working right now. When Alastor gave Rosie her gift, she would receive high-quality items, not bloody scraps of yarn stuck together.

So instead, they stared out their window, head in their hand, pondering the events of the night.

"I kill bitches before they get away."

Ghost let out a sigh through their nose, closing their eyes for a moment, letting themself voice the question they knew they would not get an answer to.

"…so why didn't you?"

[despairforme]

[wxshing-aep]

The Prom Committee (pt 1)

Ethan Morales x fem!reader

based on this request:

"how about one where y/n runs an after school club so Ethan keeps getting detention on purpose to see her because he thinks “clubs are for dorks” to quote Paxton and so his reputation as the bad boy isn’t ruined"

Warnings: swearing, banter, the word boobs

AN: decided to make it a 2 parter cause it was getting long while I was writing it and wanted to give Ethan more depth of character than the actually show so part 2 coming tmrw probs!

When his assignment was handed back by Señora Diaz upside down, Ethan wasn't surprised by the big F glaring back at him in red ink when he turned the page over.

“Stupid bitch” he muttered under his breath.

“In Español, Ethan” Señora Diaz paused on her way back to the blackboard, unsure of what he said but certain that it wasn't in Spanish.

“Sorry" he retorted and she continued her route back to the front of the classroom.

"perra estúpida”

“ethan!”

That’s how Ethan ended up in detention for the umpteenth time in his academic career, tapping his pen on the desk in the nearly empty classroom with Mr. Shapiro's happy go-lucky self staring back at him.

"Well, happy to have you here Ethan!" Mr. Shapiro greets picking up a clipboard from his desk. "Not happy to be here" Ethan deadpanned. "Sorry to hear that. Not sure how you managed to get detention during the first week of school, but hey I think that might be a new Sherman Oaks record! Congrats buddy!" Mr. Shapiro cheers before realizing the younger boy is not the slightest bit amused. "Alright, tough crowd."

"Moving right along then," Mr. Shapiro clicks a pen in his hand "time to take roll!" which causes Ethan to look around the empty classroom.

"...I'm literally the only one here"

"I know, I just love checking things off lists," Mr. Shapiro clears his throats " so do I have a Morales comma Ethan?"

"seriously dude?"

"Second call for Ethan Morales"

"you're gonna keep going til I say here, aren't you?"

"You betcha!"

"Here."

"Awesome!" Mr. Shapiro marks a giant check by the one name on his attendance sheet. "god I love doing that- Alright so unfortunately I've gotta skidaddle to help out with the faculty potluck but lucky for you sir we're implementing more of a reformative detention style this year!"

"What the hell does that mean" Ethan asked.

"It means, that instead of sitting here for the next few hours, you my friend, get to offer your help to one of the after school clubs or committees that are a bit low on helping hands" Shapiro responds with finger guns. "so guess who's today's newest member of the prom committee!"

"yea, no. I'm not joining some stupid after school club. clubs are for dorks, losers, and ugly people" Ethan responds grabbing his backpack out of the chair next to him to get up and leave.

"well actually it's a committee"

"even worse"

"Alrighty well I can see what the other options-" is all Mr Shapiro gets out before he is interrupted by your voice from the doorway.

"Oh- hey! Mr. Shapiro, did you find anyone to help with the prom posters? Eric said he'd help me out but then canceled cause he said he had to train with the assistant swim coach to quote make Michael Phelps my bitch end quote. Whatever that means, so I'm kinda flying solo here" You say, drawing Ethan's attention towards you as well.

hot damn. okay maybe after school activities are not only for ugly people. He thinks you might be the prettiest girl he's ever seen and definitely takes a mental note of your outfit that's hugging you in all the right places. He quickly realizes that he doesn't know your name and has no idea how he's never been informed of your existence prior to this moment. He's snapped back to reality by Mr. Shapiro responding to your question. "Ah- I'm sorry but Ethan is-"

"super excited to help decorate for prom" Ethan finds himself blurting out before Mr. Shapiro could finish his sentence.

"Oh- well that's great! Uh Ethan just report back by 6 so I can log your hours! I'm gonna get going, you kids have fun decorating. Go crickets!" Mr. Shapiro says, making his exit as you watch him almost skip down the hall.

"Sup, I'm Ethan" Your attention is brought back to the brown eyed curly haired boy who's suddenly standing in front of you (how the hell did he cross the room that fast, you wonder) with an outstretched hand. He never really shakes hands, he just wanted an excuse to touch you. He's cute, you note mentally. You accept the offer and shake his hand. "and you are?" he continues.

"I'm-" you pause noticing those not so innocent brown eyes are directed elsewhere, "acutely aware of the fact that you're staring at my boobs".

Ethan thinks his brain might've just short circuited cause he was definitely just caught red handed. He'd recently grown a lot more confident with girls since his summer growth spurt and subsequent glow up had dramatically increased the number of girls interested in him, but there was something about you and how you so deliberately called him out that had definitely thrown him off his game.

"Sorry- I uh- I was actually looking at your shirt. They're- It's nice" he wants to die he thinks.

You chuckle at his sudden change in demeanor. "Hmm. Yea, I know they are" you respond, turning on a heel and heading toward the auditorium.

"You comin or what?"

-

For one person, you had made pretty okay progress in a week. The current task at hand was making posters to get people excited for the theme reveal. The ground was littered with several half finished or barely started posters.

"Can you draw?" You asked Ethan.

"I'm not much of an artist"

"Really? the graffiti on the side of the school says otherwise. Your handwriting definitely sucks though so I'll do that, but the art's good and if you can do it with a spray can, you can definitely do it with some paint and markers" your unsolicited review of his graffiti made him crack a smile. His latest act of defiance had been a giant snake comically eating a cricket accompanied with the words "get fucked" on the side of the school building.

"You can't prove that was me" he challenges.

"Maybe not, but Mr. Shapiro had mentioned that I might have a detention helper today thanks to Señora Diaz and I happened to notice the words 'stupid bitch' spray painted on her car containing the same weird ass t's as the graffiti on the side of the school and here you are, Ethan."

"Damn, you're good" he pauses realizing he can't throw your name back at you because he still doesn't know it.

"Y/n" you say quietly.

"Huh?"

"My name's y/n"

Pretty name for a pretty girl, he thought.

"Alright y/n. I'll draw as long as I don't have to to touch any glitter. that shit's impossible to get off"

"deal"

"and I don't write my t's weird"

"you write your t's like a crazy person"

-

Time was pretty much flying by. Together you'd gotten nearly twenty posters done and were slowly finding out more information about each other. You were informed about some of Ethan's tattoos and how he'd actually drawn the designs for all of them himself. Not an artist, my ass, you thought. Ethan learned that he hadn't met you before because you'd previously been homeschooled and had all but begged your parents to be able to go to school with other kids for your senior year until they finally cracked and agreed to enroll you at Sherman Oaks.

"Ah I see, you're a total secret weirdo. That explains your freaky detective skills" he teases.

"I am not a secret weirdo. I just like criminal minds and puzzles"

"You were homeschooled. All homeschooled kids are a little weird"

"That's an unfair stereotype"

"Whatever you say, y/n"

"If anything you're the secret weirdo. or at least an undercover art nerd"

"I'm not an undercover art nerd"

"Yea you are. Something tells me this whole" you gestured largely to him sitting a couple feet away from you, "tortured angsty hot skater boy thing you've got going on is a pretty recent development" you comment absent-mindedly. You looked back up from your poster when he didn't respond to see him sitting there, arms crossed with a smug grin on his face.

"What?" you prodded.

"You totally just called me hot"

You're now very aware that he's a bit closer to you than he was before.

"mm don't think so"

"oh you definitely did"

"did not"

"did too"

"did not" that one came out much less confidently considering his hand had made its way to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. damn, he's good.

"whatever you say, y/n" he almost whispers. have his eyes been that sparkly this whole time? He's leaning in and you're definitely not backing away. You're maybe a centimeter away from his lips until the alarm blaring from your phone, which seemed like much better idea hours ago, sent you flying back from him and scared the shit out of both you.

"shit- I- god that scared me, I uh set an alarm for 6 so you'd remember to check in with Mr. Shapiro cause, ya know, I thought we'd both probably be busy. Um- busy making posters, i mean. Obviously I mean making posters cause we definitely wouldn't be busy doing anything else so-" you ramble.

The smug little smirk has made its way back onto Ethan's face as he is quite enjoying this role reversal from your first interaction of the day.

"shut up" you say to him.

"I didn't even say anything" he responded, hands in the air in surrender.

"I've gotta head home, but thanks for helping out even though you basically had to be here. If you ever find yourself in detention again this semester, feel free to help out. Hopefully the committee is more than just me by then" you say, starting to gather your belongings. Ethan secretly hopes it isn't, he likes the idea of hanging out with just you.

"I probably will find myself in detention again. It's kinda part of this whole tortured angsty hot skater boy thing I've got going on" he says throwing his backpack over his shoulder.

"not what I said" you still attempt to deny.

"sure it wasn't"

"bye ethan"

"bye y/n"

Yea, he'll definitely be finding himself in detention again.

-

Read Part 2 here

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part three)

+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O

+ What type of BF/GF they would be

Including König, Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin, Keegan P. Russ, Philip Graves (+ some headcanons including the Shadows), Makarov

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader

ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ

My rules for requests and characters I can write for

A/n: I tried so hard to get this one out in time with the other but my other wips are getting to me 😭. I posted twice today just to feed y'all ahaha.

Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.

Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.

König

ꕥ (PLEASE DON'T COME AFTER ME, I DON'T KNOW ANY GERMAN AND I'M USING GOOGLE TRANSLATE)

ꕥ Speaking of König, I don't think this man is the shy boy that some people is making him out to be (not that he doesn't have that side at all, I just feel like they make it his whole personality). Based on voice lines alone this man is cocky asf.

ꕥ There's a reason for his mask, yes he was bullied as a child because of his looks and that's one of the causes to his social anxiety but that doesn't mean this mf is shy. He just like to avoid people and social interactions yk. (Y'all have no idea how much I can relate to this)

ꕥ Has and will continue to use his height to his advantage, someone bothering you while you're both sat having a wonderful time together? This mf stands the fuck up, shoulders back, chest out and everything. Looming over that person while glaring down, arms crossed while they're engulfed by the shadow of this 6'10 behemoth of a man.

ꕥ Chubby!Reader? He'll throw you over his shoulders, only using one arm below your ass while he carries you off. Seriously it is no problem to this man, he'd beg you to sit on his face and suffocate him. If anything I'd say he has a preference for it yk, very soft and plush reader for real.

ꕥ Our DIY king here wearing a shirt for a hood, his hair sticking out of the hole for the head whenever he's dressing casual. Play with his hair like right now, you'll make him melt right then and there.

ꕥ Enjoys cuddling, hasn't had many partners and by that I mean kinda none. Nobody was insane enough to approach him till you came around so he's very touch starved. He didn't even know he enjoyed touching that much till he was able to feel the amount of warmth your body gives him. He'd swear on his life that he was intoxicated in that moment.

ꕥ Whenever you sit or straddle on his lap, he's still so fucking tall. I swear you will gain neck pains if you wanna keep eye contact while talking to him. (I understand the struggle, I am a 5'1 girly. Every character I know within the CoD universe is taller than me 😭)

ꕥ Doesn't actually wear his mask around you, he's comfortable and trust you enough to know you wouldn't go around telling everyone what he looks like.

ꕥ Nicknames he'd call you in German are Mein Schatz, Fräulein, Liebling, Engel and Kleine Maus

ꕥ He's still definitely bitter about not being a sniper. (AHAHAHA)

Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin

ꕥ (IF I'M BEING HONEST, I DID NOT EXPECT HIS VOICE TO BE THAT DEEP. ALSO HIS VOICE LINES IN KOREAN/HANGUL (IDK WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT)

ꕥ He has doodles on his tactical gear that he did himself (there are also one that are a tribute to squid game because man's had a gambling addiction), has asked you to draw on it too and he proudly wears it when on duty. Will feel stupid while unconsciously smiling if you draw a heart.

ꕥ Writing something down on his vest from your own mother tongue and he's asking the meaning, if it's genuinely something good like a compliment or something like "I love you" then you will catch this man with a shit eating grin.

ꕥ He used to be a gambler before entering the military and it eventually got him to stop, though he still has a thing for risk, he got himself a more deadlier alternative.

ꕥ Expect surprise back hugs, this man isn't called Horangi for nothing. He's stealthy, I like to think that whatever he says to you is well thought out as well. Man knows how to think before he speaks.

ꕥ Horangi likes to pounce on things, just for the fun of it. It leads him to tackle you on your shared bed a lot, lots of play fighting too.

ꕥ HAS THE PRETTIEST EYES EVER. Like seriously, the only people who knows what he looks like is you and König. Had gentle eyes, you know that quote "His eyes softened", yeah that's the definition of his eyes.

ꕥ Loves it when you trace the veins on his arms with your finger nails, will just straight up offer his arm to you.

Keegan P. Russ

ꕥ This man and his panty dropping voice like holy hell I have never heard a voice as deep as his without a vocal fry (from those try hard guys on TikTok who try to hard thinking their thirst traps are good).

ꕥ Calls you "kid" in an affectionate way? It's honestly just what he calls anyone younger than him, you're shorter? He'll emphasize on that shit. Elaborating on the nickname I said earlier, he uses it less when y'all are dating but still does on some occasions.

ꕥ Would say the most dirty and uncalled for things, whispering it in your ears. He's and asshole in the best way possible, loves it when you gasp and playfully slap his chest.

ꕥ He's sweet though, would see you as his wife even if you're not married. You're his now, the moment you entered his life, he basically had a death grip on you.

ꕥ Something tells me that he likes talking about you or to you through radios yk. His voice sounding even deeper through the device, calling you doll even though he's supposed to refer to you with your call sign.

ꕥ Praise kink? I mean you've more likely heard his voice lines, is the type of man to praise you and ruffle your hair, either that or he'll kiss you depending on what stage of your relationship you are both in.

ꕥ Constantly thinks his eyes are weird even though they aren't, he just has sleepy eyes. Speaking of sleeping, I feel like he has such a fucked up sleeping schedule and is used to pulling all nighters more than the normal person.

ꕥ Will drag you in bed though and lay his whole weight on top of you because you ain't going nowhere, you are staying there with him and only him.

Philip Graves

ꕥ (If it isn't "Fix It Felix", please tell me I'm not the only one who sees it AHAHAHA)

ꕥ Philip is touchy, somebody for the love of everything that is holy cuddle this man please. He is just screaming at any type of physical contact at this point. (My sources? Right fucking here)

ꕥ Is the type of boyfriend to come home to you and just hug you, y'all would be there for a solid 10 minutes before he lets you go. Burying his head into your neck and just inhaling your scent while having his arms wrapped tightly around you.

ꕥ His Shadows? More like his fucking children, again going back to the TikTok. He knows how to get their attention, the little pats on the shoulder and small praises are his way of saying they did a good job and they're eating it up.

ꕥ That being said, you are either gonna be their mother figure or someone they enjoy protecting because their dad is so fond of you. Why not be both right?

ꕥ You cannot tell me this man won't be next to the grill, spatula, tongs or whatever kitchen utensil in one hand and a cold bottle of beer in the other.

ꕥ Spends his weekends with you on his lap while he watches football in your guys' couch, you're definitely scrolling on your phone during this.

ꕥ You cannot tell me this man doesn't wear cowboy hats and boots because he certainly does, is it a turn on or a turn off? I genuinely do not know..

ꕥ Is fruity on some aspects but would never fucking admit it..

Makarov

ꕥ Y'ALL ACTUALLY THOUGHT I'D WRITE FOR THIS MAN? NAH THIS ACC IS WHOLESOME (OR ANGSTY) AND ION THINK THIS MAN IS SALVAGEABLE. (This came from a girl who once was obsessed with Tom Riddle for years when she was 13, I recovered from it dw)

ꕥ This man would literally use anyone and anything as leverage for whatever he wants to achieve. (Yes I am one of those "I can fix him" people but damn idk if this man is fixable)

ꕥ Please don't tell me you actually genuinely think this man would be good to you.. I knew what I was writing was unrealistic but damn y'all are delulu on another level (so am I, stay delulu). Jokes aside I love y'all and he's one of the few I won't write for. (AHEM Severus Snape (that greasy mop haired mf)

ꕥ And yes I understand most of my shit are kind of OOC but damn if I wrote him, it would be extremely fucking far from canon and I don't like romanticizing toxic relationships (if I ever do write it, it will be angst and I can't ever promise a happy ending).

ꕥ Happy April fool's! (I know I'm posting this end of September (it's actually October now 😭)

[cherrycherryking]

i read your model!reader scene and can i just say absolute 10/10 for how you draw and write wally just phenomenonal!!!

may i suggest a sort of reversal where reader tries gifting wally a lil painting they did for him? maybe of him or of a flower that reminded them of him?

thank you so much <3 reader doing (or trying their best) to do a drawing of wally is just so sweet? thank you for requesting!!

┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴

wally darling x gen!reader

Making a Drawing for Wally

✧Wally had drawn you before, you knew from the times he would ask you to model for him or because you would catch little sketches of yourself in his sketchbook.

✧Maybe you're quite good at drawing, or maybe you aren't. Point is that today you felt more than compelled to draw him, could be as a little thank you or just because he was pretty.

✧Julie and Frank (but mostly Julie) had intercepted him to talk about some...case? they were on, something about one of Frank's book going missing.

✧You tried not to stare too much, Wally was pretty quick to notice people looking at him and being catched while drawing him suddenly felt a little embarrassing.

✧God. Uh. How were you supposed to draw his hair?

✧He pulled the hairstyle surprisingly well, but any time you tried it just looked weird, you closed your eyes to remember but instead your brain jumped to that one time it got completely ruined after Barnaby threw a water balloon to his face.

✧Now you're going down memory lane! That was such a fun day actually, even more so when Sally-

✧The high pitched sound that came out of your mouth was completely justified and no one could tell you otherwise.

✧You look to the side, Frank and Julie disappeared down the road to keep with their search.

✧In all honesty Wally knew where you were, even if it was for a second he felt your eyes on him and would have come to say hi either way, why wouldn't he?

✧So now he was leaning forward close to your face and making that damn eye contact. Without moving an inch his glance moved down just a tiny bit, and he quickly catched what you were doing.

✧"Aww! You're drawing me?" his drowsy eyes came back, excitement in that calm voice of him. "Well yeah- but is not as pretty as your drawings, or you-"

✧To say he was flattered was the least. With all the joy in the world Wally told you how good it looked no matter what you could say, and before you could ask him he offered himself to be your model.

✧Needless to say, after sitting besides you under the tree you could feel his stare once more. This time though it didn't make you as nervous as usual, maybe because it gave you an excuse to watch him and analyze his features for so long. Wally looked happy and you could swear his cheeks were just a little more blushed than usual.

✧Whether you think you got him right he's going to be over the moon anyways, sitting close to you arms touching as he talks about how you definitely should draw more often, specifically draw him.

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sorry it took me so long!! something possessed me to do friendship bracelets for wally and julie and if i'm not stopped probably eddie too.

idk how well i write wally sjdksdf i want to capture that "lights are on, house is empty" and "oh hes a little fucked actually" that he has going on, so any advice would be really helpful :)

[rae-pottah]

His Weakness

Fandom: The Rookie

Pairing: Tim Bradford x Reader

Y/n= Your name

L/n= Last Name

N/n= Nickname

S/n= Special Nickname

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns, Little spaced!reader, kissing, shitty writing?, it's a BBF so Y/n's brother's name will be Ryan, people know Ryan and Tim are good friends but don't know you and Tim get along this well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If before today someone had told anyone who hadn't witnessed the two of you interact that Timothy Bradford had never been rude to you, they wouldn't have believed them.

*Y/n's POV*

As I walked into the precinct with two lunches in my right hand and a container of cookies in the left I made my way over to the front desk.

"Hello, how can- Y/N! Pleasure as always! You here to see Ryan?" Kai, Ryan's Boyfriend asked with a bright smile

"And his side piece!" I feigned offence as I held up the lunches

"Awe, Tim isn't in at the moment but you can go see Ryan and then draw at Tim's desk till he gets back!"

"Works for me!" I smile and make my way over to my brother. As I walk by people they smile and wave, knowing me from Ryan of course, Angela and Jackson stopped to actually say hello.

*Angela's POV*

After a few minutes of talking with Y/n, we heard her brother call

"N/n!" I had just put my bottle of water up to my lips when I heard the most beautiful word.

"Hey Ryan, I made you and Timmy-" I didn't hear the rest because I had spit near all of the water in my mouth on West and doubled over in laughter

"Are you okay?" Y/n ran the 20 feet back over to me worried

"I'm great!" I eased her mind, and she reluctantly left me and went to Tim's desk with Ryan, he ate while she quietly drew with the blue, red, and black pens Tim had in his pencil holder.

*Tim's POV*

I walked into the precinct after telling Chen to book the douchebag we got

"Tim, she's at your desk!" Kai called I didn't notice the huge smile on my face until-

"Aww, Timmy's smiling!" Angela called out

"You ever call me that again and you're dead" I snapped

"She calls you that." she pointed out with a smile on her face

"Yes, and she is the only one that calls me that."

"Alright, I'm sorry Tim." as I walked to my desk I heard the faintest "me" and laughing right after, it didn't bug me as much because I finally got to my desk

*Ryan's POV*

Y/n didn't notice Tim when he walked in, she always gets so locked into her doodling. He crouched down next to the chair and she gasped

"Timmy!"

"Hey S/n, what you doing?" he asked with his best smile

"Just coloring and waiting for you. I made you and Ryan lunches and cookies!" she said happily as she handed him his lunch and showed him the container of cookies

"Thank you so much, S/n!" giving her a kiss on the nose, now I knew he had a crush on my sister, which I most definitely gave him a huge talk about if he hurts her I'll crush his skull in, but the way he said thank you... had everyone around stopping. Anglea and Lucy were Awwing, and Grey, and Nolan were probably having heart attacks, while West just pursed his lips trying not to smile. I just gave him a warning look as he pulled another chair over and sat in that one

*Tim's POV*

While I was eating some people still looked on and off, not used to the domesticated me, but they weren't ready for what was about to happen, and to tell you the truth neither was I.

"Um- so I was thinking, you wanna go to dinner with me?" I asked slowly not ready for the answer. Everyone was shocked, except the girls... I think they might have been more nervous for her answer than I was

"L-Li-Like a date?" she asked, her entire face turning red looking down to hide her blush. I put my finger under her chin and began lifting her head up

"If that's okay" Somehow I think my face was redder than hers

"That'd be awesome" she said in a small voice

"Yeah?" I had to double check

"Yeah!" she nodded quickly

"Cool" I nervously laughed out

"Cool" she laughed out nearly the same

"DAMNIT" We turned to Kai standing next to Ryan getting his wallet out and handing him a twenty

"W-what?" Y/n asked confused

"I knew he would break first, he thought you would just kiss him one day" Ryan explained

"Well, I've waited this long" She shrugged and turned to me next thing I know her lips are on mine and I never want to let them go

I moaned into the kiss luckily as cheering erupted in the precinct.

Thanks lol

[eufezco]

THE GRIEF OF LOSING EDDIE MUNSON

Steve Harrington x Byers!Fem!Reader, because I need to make everything about Steve sorry.

A/N: Listen to Glimpse of us by Joji, Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens and Die first by Nessa Barret for the full experience. Once again, english isn't my first language<3

Tw: self harm, panic attacks, not eating. I've seen a lot of people having such a strong reactions to Eddie's death and this is super angsty so be careful reading it please.

The door of your room was closed. It was closed most of the day, the only person who dared to open it was your mother to check up on you. Every now and then. She would leave it open, pretending to forget about closing it after going out of your room so she could have an eye on you. But that day you decided to keep it open yourself.

Someone knocked on the door of the house. Joyce being the one opening it to find Steve with a half-smile on his face. She hugged him before letting him inside.

—How is she doing? —The boy asked your mom, her replying with a grimace, pointing at your open door with her head. Steve blinked, nodding. That's good, he thought.

Steve went to the living room where El, Will and Jonathan were having breakfast, Hopper was sitting on the couch watching the TV. Steve said good morning to all of them and sat at the table with your siblings.

Joyce asked him if he had already had breakfast to which Steve answered by nodding his head and thanking her for worrying. Will showed him his new drawings and El talked about something he wished he could've paid attention to, but his fingers were tapping nervously on the table as his eyes escaped from El to the door of your room. He'd been doing it every day since everything ended. He'd usually wait for you there, sitting with your siblings, but today you were taking especially long.

—Should we go and see if she's okay?

Steve nodded and got up from the bed as soon as Will asked, the other three doing the same and following him. Jonathan, Will, El and Steve stood outside of your room, you not noticing them thanks to you wearing your headphones and being with your back turned to the door as you were busy drawing something.

Steve and Jonathan shared a glimpse.

—Is she okay? —El asked. You never used headphones, your music was always rumbling through the house.

—I think she's going through grief —. Steve stated.

El and Will were confused. —What's that? —El asked Steve.

—It's when- It's when you try to process the loss of someone.

The girl nodded, understanding what Steve was saying. Will had a worried expression on his face while Jonathan looked at you with sad eyes.

—And what do we need to do? How can we help her?

Steve kept looking at you while Will looked at him, El waiting for an answer. Both, Steve and Jonathan knew there wasn't much to do for you. —Just be there for her —. Jonathan answered her for Steve.

DENIAL

"Hi, y/n." The four of them decided that it would be better if only one of them went to talk to you. El and Will voted for that person to be Steve while Jonathan voted for Will and Steve voted for himself. Steve tapped softly on your shoulder, making you turn around, startled because you weren't expecting anyone to find out it was Steve who interrupted your thoughts. You said hi back to him as he threw a glimpse at what you were drawing. Steve talked to you, you only responding him with quiet hums.

"Are you ok-?" He finally asked.

"I'm fine." You replied to Steve and immediately after, you put your headphones back on. He stood there, behind you, for a couple of seconds deciding what he should do; you definitely weren't feeling like talking nor spending time with him or with anyone, but he didn't want to leave you. That day he did leave, but that didn't happen ever again.

You spent most of the day drawing, writing, or reading, your headphones never leaving your ears. Steve brought you some of his tapes and he bought new ones for you of artists he knew you liked. El would sneak into your room and just watch you as you painted and sometimes Will would too to draw with you. You couldn't feel anything, not sadness, not happiness, as if there was a hole in your chest that absorbed every emotion not giving your brain enough time to process them before they were gone. You were numb to everything around you; seeing Steve walk into your room made you feel nothing, you couldn't be proud as you used to be when Will showed you one of his new works, and neither you could feel the sadness after losing your best friend. You just were certain that something like that couldn't have happened to him. If Will survived one week alone in the Upside Down, Eddie could too.

"We need to go back." You went to the kitchen where Steve was helping Hopper to cook. There were only the three of you in the house, Joyce and Jonathan were at work but it wouldn't be long before they got home, and El and Will were hanging out with Mike. Steve cleaned his hands and turned around to listen to you, Hopper watching out the pasta for him. "We need to go back to the Upside Down." Steve's body tensed, Hopper stopped mixing the pasta with the tomato sauce. "I've been thinking and- Will was 12 when he spent a whole week alone in the Upside Down and survived, and those bats bit you too and you are alive. Eddie-" Steve shook his head softly, pressing his lips together. "Y/n." Steve cut you off in the softest way he could. Hopper looked at the boy who just finished sharing with him what Dustin told him about Eddie. "We can figure out how to open the gate again. I'm- I'm not asking any of you to go, I'll do it. I'll go and find him."

Steve licked his lips. "That's not possible, y/n."

"You don't understand, I have to find him." Your hands shook, Steve noticing and approaching you. Hopper turned around to see where the boy was going. "I have to save him, Steve." You started crying, your hands covering your face as you used Steve's chest to hide. "He's there alone and he has to be very scared." You sobbed, him wrapping his hands around your body, his chin resting on the top of your head. Hopper approached you both and laid one of his hands on your head. "He hates being alone. He has to be so scared, Steve, please, we need to find him." As he said, Steve knew that wasn't possible and he let you know in the less hurtful way, by not answering you. You begged Steve to help you go back to the Upside Down, his heart breaking into million pieces knowing he couldn't do anything for you and holding back his tears as he heard your desperate sobs trying to get Eddie back.

ANGER

Steve was holding you between his arms as you tried to escape his grip. You had already broken some of the polaroids you had with Eddie on the wall above your desk, the pieces lying on the floor as you tried to go and rip the ones that were still stuck to the wall. Your breathing was fast, your eyes with tears of rage and your body shook violently against Steve's arms. You finally gave up, if it hadn't been because Steve was holding onto you, you would've fallen defeated to the floor. Your head down as you sobbed, your whole body finally relaxing as Steve could loose his arms around you a little bit, still holding you so you won't fall. He gave you a minute as you tried to catch your breath and his eyes were locked on the ripped pictures, Steve let out a sigh because he knew you were definitely gonna regret this later.

"He was a fucking coward. He let himself die because of this stupid town as if he owned this place anything when everyone, literally everyone, thinks he is a murderer. You know what he was, huh? A fucking idiot and he died like one." Steve had to hear things like this every day, knowing you didn't mean it and that it was your trauma talking, not you. After realizing what you just say, you would start crying while mumbling 'I didn't mean it', Steve caressing your back and reassuring you that he knew you didn't.

Joyce had to pick up the pieces of your broken drawings, you destroyed every piece of art you created during your denial stage; ripping the papers and making holes in your canvases. Steve asked her if he could keep them and Joyce gave him each of the small pieces of paper that she collected. Steve repaired your photos with Eddie, using glue and tape to get the pieces together. He kept them in his room, waiting patiently to return them to you. He managed to perfectly repair four of them: you and Eddie posing for the camera with your Hellfire t-shirts, a big smile on your face as Eddie leaned his head on your shoulder. You didn't play D&D but Eddie insisted on you having your own Hellfire t-shirt. Two of them were pictures of Eddie, him lying in a flower field when you both went to that picnic last spring, his hair tangling with the flowers, and another one of him playing his guitar in one of his concerts. The fourth one was taken by Eddie's tattoo artist when he let you use the tattoo pen to color the bats’ tattoo on his arm. You were focused and worried at the same time that you were hurting him, but Eddie was admiring you as you worked on his new tattoo, the shine in his eyes visible in the picture being evidence of what kind of friendship you two had. For the rest of the photos, Steve did the best he could, but some of the pieces were too small to get them together or to even identify what they were.

The relationship between Jonathan and Steve got worse if possible. They only worked hand to hand when it was about you, the rest of the day they'd ignore each other for good. Jonathan hated to see Steve every day at home but he never said anything because he knew that he did not only help you but Joyce and his family too. Jonathan didn't like Steve, not only because he was his girlfriend's ex but now also because he was trying to get with his little sister. It was probably you transmitting your bad mood to them, which they never blamed you for, what caused them almost getting into a fight in the living room. Apparently, Steve heard Jonathan telling that long-haired friend of his how, not so deep down, Steve was still the same person he was three years ago. Steve wouldn't have cared about what Jonathan had to say about him, but you being depressed and your brother assuming that Steve was using you made him snap. Hopper had to step in the middle of the two boys, and Joyce had to call them both out.

Your jaw hurt, it was clenched most of the day and in the palm of your hands were bruises of half-moons because of your nails digging into your skin when you closed your fists. Steve took care of them, asking Joyce for bandages to cover that part of your hand so when you sunk your nails there, you wouldn't hurt yourself. Sometimes you would puke from all the anger you were keeping inside, Jonathan with a hand on your forehead and the other one holding your hair, and Steve waiting with water and a wet towel to clean your face. Then the embarrassment and the frustration would hit you at the same time, leaving you sitting down on the floor of the bathroom for hours, with your back against the door and your head on your knees as you hugged them to your chest. Steve and Jonathan were sitting there with you, looking at you and then looking at each other, their eyes finally locking on the floor as they listened to you cry.

BARGAINING

What if you've never met Eddie? What if you never introduced him and Dustin? What if you had gone with him to the Upside Down instead of going with Max and Lucas to the Creel House? You coudn't save Max and you couldn't save Eddie either. You were so ashamed of yourself, you felt like a failiure. You should've gone to California with your family, if you wouldn't have stayed in Hawkins, Eddie would be alive now. You would've probably distanced yourselves and now he would be living his life, playing D&D and giving concerts. The anger mixed with the sadness and you finally felt like talking with someone about Eddie.

"I should've gone to the Upside Down." You were sitting in your bed, your knees against your chest. Steve was sitting on the floor of your room, his back against the wall right in front of your bed and reading one of the books you recommended him a long time ago. His eyes laid on you when you spoke. You didn't tell him but Steve guessed that those thoughts were going through your head. "It should've been me who-" Steve cut you off. "No. Don't say that." Steve left the book on the floor and went to sit next to you, his gaze trying to find yours but your eyes were lost. "It should have been none of us." Steve tried to comfort you. He threw one of his hands over your shoulder, making you lay your head on his chest. You didn't complain, letting Steve's soft-touch snuggle you to his chest. There was a moment of silence before Steve spoke again. "Dustin asks all the time about you." You sat up, your eyes wide open. You've been so self-centered in your pain that you didn't even think about Dustin.

Steve drove you to the Hawkins High Gym where he knew you would find Dustin. During the drive, he told you that Dustin spent his days there since the supposed earthquake hit Hawkins, helping the people affected by it and giving them comfort. You knew the boy would be doing a good job. "If you want to leave at any moment, just let me know." You nodded, thinking twice about going into the gym. Steve waited with you there until you felt ready, his hands on his pockets as he already saw his friend through the windows, handing bottles of water and limping as he walked. Everything was a mess when you decided to go inside the gym. Even though some time has passed, people were still hurt, homeless and they'd probably lost everything. You saw Robin from the distance, she was talking with that girl she fancied and when she saw you too, she greeted you with a small smile, glad to see you again. Steve was by your side when Dustin noticed you had walked into the gym, him giving you the soft push you needed in the lower part of your back to approach the boy.

Dustin was limping, he later told you it was because of the fall when he went back to the Upside Down. You sat in an empty bed so you both could talk. Steve left you alone with Dustin, a young woman telling him he could help by folding clothes. The boy told you he had been helping there, what happened to his leg, and that Mr. Munson had been asking for you every day. You felt guilty, for not having talked to Dustin before and for not having, at least, called Eddie's uncle. Dustin's voice broke when he talked about Eddie, trying to comfort you somehow by telling you Eddie died like a hero. You also felt guilty for that. Dustin was there when Eddie died, he literally saw him dying in front of his eyes, yet there he was, consoling you. He stopped talking when he saw Mr. Munson entering the gym. You and Dustin got up, the old man quickly lying his eyes on you. He approached you, asked how had you been. You tried to not answer him by just using monosyllables but you felt like if you said anything else you'd start crying. When Mr. Munson was about to leave, he started digging in the pocket of his jacket.

Eddie's uncle handed you the guitar pick Dustin gave him.

"Mr. Munson, I can't. He was your nephew-"

"And you were his person. I'm sure Eddie would want you to have it." The necklace with his pick fell into the palm of your hand, feeling heavier than it should as your eyes filled with tears, but you did not get to cry in front of them. You apologize to Eddie's uncle for not being by Eddie's side when the earthquake happened, for not having made him see that this stupid town was not worth giving his life for. At least you now knew that he was not alone when he died which supposed a strong relief for your soul as you watched Dustin break down when he told you. But you didn't shed a tear, not in front of them. In the middle of this, some asshole from the basketball team you assumed, painted a pentagram and some horns and a tail on Eddie's poster. Mr. Munson was already taking out of his backpack another one to change the ruined poster. "May I?" You asked him. The man looking at you with sadness in his eyes as he nodded.

You knew the poster won't help. That as much as the cops looked for Eddie, they would never find him. But at least, with that poster there, they won't forget about him.

Dustin continued crying, the kid sobbing as you both looked at Eddie's photo on the poster. All you've ever dream about and planned with him was gone. You bit your lower lip when the first tears finally rolled down your cheek. You placed your hand on Dustin's head getting him closer to you as the boy wrapped his hands around you too.

It was the first time after Eddie's death that you were hugging someone and not being hugged.

DEPRESSION

Steve, Joyce, and Jonathan changed their whole work schedule after planning it thoroughly for you to not be alone at any time. You cried of sadness for the first time since Eddie died and you didn't stop for a pretty long time, your eyes getting a permanent shade of red. Your sobs could be heard throughout the house at night, Jim's light sleep making him walk to your room to find you curled up in your bed, almost choking on your tears and snots. "Come on, y/n." Hopper helped you to sit up on your bed, you being barely capable of keeping that posture for yourself. Jim took a tissue from your nightstand and blew your nose, and using his thumbs he wiped your tears. "We're gonna try to sleep, okay?" He sat on your bed with his back against the wall and hugged you against his chest, and using his hands, he caressed your hair and kept you close. "I miss him." You said between sobs. Hopper let out a sigh, hating to see you go through this while his big hand still working on your hair. "I know you do."

Steve always tried to have small gestures with you like buying you your favorite flowers and placing them in a vase next to your bed where you spent most of the day, renting movies for you in case you felt like watching one which never happened, cleaning your room. He just wanted to show you that life was still worthy of living. You hardly ate, not even your favorite dish whetted your appetite anymore, you would just sit at the table with your family, staring at the food on your plate. The feeling of emptiness never left, it was always there like some type of shadow that followed you everywhere. Sometimes that shadow was nice to you, letting you cry to sleep in between Steve's arms playing in your mind the happiest memories you had with Eddie, like watching him win his first D&D game, when he let you braid his hair, the joy on his face as he watched you try to play his guitar... But other times the shadow was mean, fastening your breath to the point you felt dizzy, drying your mouth and throat and making you feel helpless, like not even Joyce soothing words were useful anymore, not even Jonathan sneaking into your room and grabbing your hand as you cried your eyes out and not even Steve hugging you at night could replace the void that Eddie left in you.

Life was meaningless without him.

You were gonna graduate together. You were gonna walk that stage and snatch that diploma together. You were gonna live together, go to the beachside. He was gonna walk you down the aisle by the time you married and he was going to be the godfather of your children. He was going to be the cool uncle, the one that would buy them ice cream on the sly before having dinner, the one buying them their first guitar and teaching them how to play D&D. He was going to be the person you would entrust your children in case something happened to you and your husband. And now all of that was gone. You couldn't even think of a life without him. Like his uncle said, you were his person and Eddie was yours.

ACCEPTANCE

You had your first shower last night, you brushed your teeth, and had a proper dinner. Your mom kissing your forehead and Hopper lying his hand on your shoulder, both of them letting you know how proud they were of you. Now you were in front of your wardrobe, the bright colors of your spring clothes looking especially annoying to you.

You chose the long skirt he always laughed at. It was pink and he said you looked like a cupcake and that it hurt his eyes because it was 'awfully pink'. You also picked a white t-shirt, putting it on and inside of the skirt, you looked in the mirror. Your chest going up and down at a fast pace as you could see him lucidly behind you, teasing you by playing with your skirt. It was fun how when you wore that outfit, you looked like completly polar opposites.

"My baby. You are so pretty." Joyce fixed your hair and grabbed both of your cheeks to kiss your forehead, Hopper behind her showing you a big warm smile, agreeing with what Joyce was saying. Steve got up from the sofa the moment you went out of your room, his eyes never shone so brightly like they did when he looked at you. He had this expression of amazement on his face, you caught him looking at you from up to down, which was pretty intimidating you might say, to finally let out a 'woah' that made your cheeks and ears grow hot. Steve approached you, wrapping one of his arm around your waist and kissing your cheek. "You look beautiful." You showed him a little smile. "You do to." You murmured and melting under his hand holding your waist. "Okay, lovebirds. If you need anything, call me. I want her back at 10 pm." Joyce nudged Hopper in his ribs, shaking her head at Steve. "Don't listen to him. Just take care of her, okay?" Steve nodded showing a comforting smile to your mom that made her know that you would be fine with him. You hugged Joyce and Jim one last time. "Shall we go?" You nodded. Steve took your hand as you walked out of your house to his car.

Steve drove out of Hawkins, to the next town where he knew there was a fair taking place and where he made a reservation in the fanciest restaurant he could afford. He took you on the most idyllic date ever as he promised when he confessed his feelings for you before going to fight Vecna. Every time that he made you laugh during dinner, that you showed him that timid smile of yours, that he saw you eating, something inside his chest tickled. After all you've been through together, he still got nervous when your fingers brushed as you walked, you finally making the move and grabbing his hand, your fingers intertwining as he caressed your hand with his thumb. The fair was the loudest place you've ever been in months, the music rumbled inside your chest. Steve got you a big pink cotton candy that you ate while you watched him trying to win a teddy bear for you. You giggled at his defeated face when he didn't get it, assuring him that he did great and awarding his efforts by giving him a piece of your cotton candy and a quick peck on his lips that made Steve almost fall to his knees.

"Wait, are you leaving?" You asked confused when Steve was about to turn around after walking you to the door of your house. "Mmm... yeah." Steve put his hands inside his jeans pockets. "I don't think I can sleep without you." You confessed hugging yourself.

"Well, you've got a big day coming tomorrow. We should not take the risk of you not sleeping." You giggled.

Your graduation day finally came. You woke up that day feeling empty again, angry because you thought that sensation was gone. You escaped to the bathroom to cry before Steve opened his eyes. This was supposed to be your day. Eddie's and yours. But now you had to do it for both of you. Not only getting that diploma but also learning how to live with the emptiness. You had a shower, the hot water burning your shoulders as you tried to stop crying, but the sound of the water hitting the bathtub made it so easy to hide your sobs. Your gown was too big and you didn't like the cap, as El said, it made you look like a gnome but Steve thought you looked cute. He drove you, El, and Will to the high school, it was almost offensive how they managed to plan a whole graduation after all of this. Your mom had tears in her eyes during the whole ceremony and so you did; Joyce was so proud of her little girl graduating and you were so sad about doing it alone. As the principal gave his speech, you noticed how many empty chairs were around you, one for each of the dead and disappeared students. One of those chairs was right next to you, your eyes staring at the empty seat for a couple of seconds. They ended up focusing on the director's words again to not think about who should be sitting there. "Look at you. That gown is so ridiculous." You could hear his laugh, you could also see him from the corner of your eyes sitting next to you. Your breathing quickened, he felt so real. "You're wearing my pick." Eddie pointed out. You did, the little dark piece hanging from your neck in contrast with the bright color of your gown. "I miss you." You murmured, your eyes getting glossy with tears. "I can't do this without you, Eddie." Your voice could not be heard not even by you, your lips were moving without emitting any sound. "Of course you can. You'll learn how to." Tears started rolling down your cheeks, you thanked you were wearing no makeup. "I miss you too." Eddie confessed when he didn't receive an answer. "We didn't get to say our goodbyes."

"You weren't supposed to leave me." You mumbled between sobs. You caught the attention of the girl that was sitting behind you, she asked you if you were okay and offered you a tissue. You nodded and denied her offer by showing her a little smile. "I didn't run, y/n. I didn't run that time." Eddie sounded proud of himself. You bit your lip down. "Look, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna snatch that diploma and your gonna live. For us. And I'm not leaving you, not now and not never. I'd be right next to you every day of your life, watching after you. You can consider me your guardian angel if you'd like but I don't think I'm getting any close to heaven." He let out a giggle. "You've been the greatest life partner I could've ever asked for. Please, live y/n." And then he disappeared. You turned your head to look at the chair next to you, empty again, when a gust of wind blew, it was soft, refreshing, it soothingly caressed your wet cheeks and it smelled like him.

You started doing what he said. The walk to get your diploma felt so long as you battled with your knees for them to not give up. Joyce and Hopper got up from their seats, their hands applauding at a scandalously fast pace, and Jonathan taking pictures of you with his best camera. You also could hear Steve's cheers from there, his hands on both sides of his mouth to project his voice louder. El and Will were also clapping their hands, big smiles on their faces. You took the guitar pick on your necklace and placed a kiss on the small object.

"This is for you, Eddie."

[luveline]

Hi Jade! First of all thank you for bringing back the zombie au, it is my absolute fave! Second, if you are taking requests for it currently, maybe r (with Robin maybe?) goes and finds a gift for Steve just to make him smile (which may or may not make him break into tears with how vulnerable and emotional he's been with all the stuff he's been through?) Thank you for all your lovely writing!

thank you anon! fem!reader, 8k —You, Steve and Robin make a risky trip for non-essentials to improve your quality of life at the camp. Steve's feeling stressed, you try to make it better, and Robin finds a cat in the display section of the mattress store. 

tw for zombie apocalypse typical implied violence and gore, food insecurity, injury

"We'll call it something really cool," Robin says, "like Y/N and Robin's ultimate quest for cleanliness." 

Robin is a little dirty today. She's scraped her hair back into a tiny ponytail, and it flicks out at the back of her head like a feather duster. You think it's adorable, and you lean around her shoulders to try and touch it. Steve pulls you back bodily. 

"Stop touching her," he says. 

"Just her hair," you say. 

"No, because you know how ansty she is, it's like poking a sleeping dragon." 

"Shut up! Shut up, loser, I haven't been antsy at all, I'm planning a girl's trip as we speak." 

You laugh and fall back into Steve's arms, the kind of laugh that makes your chest feel tight and your eyes scrunch closed. A girl's trip is definitely one way to put it. 

"I'm just saying," Steve says, not just saying at all, "that you're dangerous right now. Next time I'll let her touch your hair and you can bite her hand off." 

"She can touch my hair. I don't know if you've noticed, Harrington, but that right there is my very best friend."

And okay, it's not true, Steve and Robin have the strongest friendship you've ever seen, but there is a truth behind it —you and Robin get along well. It would be difficult not to love her, she's a gem, and she cares about the person you care about most in the world at the same level (though in a different calibre). 

You worm out of Steve's arms to give her a quick hug. Steve steals you away again and you laugh as you go, flopping your weight onto him and almost knocking him flat onto his back. 

You, Robin and Steve are sitting around the campfire in the centre of camp. It's rather big and blissfully hot, the sky a velvet black that hides the smoke. Children sit with droopy eyes to the left, some with parents and most without, though the community is full of good people with great hearts who've swooped in to help look after them. Already, an older woman named Matildhe seems to have gathered a brood of six children, all young, and all wanting cuddles. To the right, Jeremy Livingstone and Joyce Byers plan the unplannable, a map of Michigan at their feet held down by stones. Jonathan sits by his mother's legs with a baby in his lap, her sleeping face pressed to his chest. He taps her back absent-mindedly. "What about here?" he asks, drawing a circle with his finger. Will, his younger brother, moves the flashlight beam to follow his direction. 

Despite the fire, the wind bites at your backs, a nippy chill. Steve has solved this by becoming your windbreaker, or so he claims. 

"She loves me," you murmur. 

"I love her," Robin agrees. 

"That's why you can't come on our girl's trip," you say. 

"Girls," Steve says, measured, "I'm unsure, but I'm starting to think that you think you're going somewhere without me." 

"No, we know you'll crash the party. But we're going to pretend you aren't there," Robin says. 

Her chipper attitude makes you laugh for the millionth time tonight. Steve laughs in tandem behind you, his breath fanning warmly over the shell of your ear. 

It smells like woodsmoke and pine needles meshed together here, two smells that alone are nice but together give you a headache. You wrinkle your nose and sit up properly, worried about squashing Steve or hurting his bad knee. "The smell is so strong out here," you say. 

"Shit, this guy bothering you?" Steve asks, pointing his thumb at the fire. 

"Kick his ass, Steve," Robin says. 

"Are you losers drunk?" Dustin asks. 

You twist on your butt to face him, Steve's favourite sixteen year old standing in the dark wearing two coats and three scarfs. 

"Are you cold?" Steve asks. "Come and sit with us." 

"We aren't drunk, just happy," you say, gesturing for him to do as Steve said. 

Dustin sits by the fire with you, groaning. "What is there to be happy about?" 

You bite your top lip. Dustin is so young, and he's lost a lot. More than he ever should've had to lose, twice, his sense of normalcy destroyed. You don't blame him for being depressed over what is possibly the most traumatic thing he will ever have to experience. You don't want to offer him empty platitudes or tell him how to feel, and Steve doesn't want to either, but he can't watch him mope. He loves him too much. 

"Dusty," he teases, "don't be so down. Haven't you seen this glorious and ridiculously enormous bonfire we have going on?" 

"I see it," Dustin says from behind gritted teeth. 

"Hey, do you want to sleep in our tent tonight?" Steve asks, a tad more seriously. "It's warmer with more people, and it's not as crowded as you think it'll be." 

"No, thanks." 

"You could drag your tent closer," you say, quieter, trying not to smother him or embarrass him with parenting he never asked for. 

"I don't like being near the boundary. You guys might be okay with ending up as geek chow but the rest of us have common sense." 

"Well, we didn't really have a choice there," Robin says. 

Which is true. The kids all get to sleep in tents close to the fire, and the adults are a row behind. You guys aged out of the kids category a long time ago, so you're the ones who'll be eaten first, but you're also the ones who'll hear the can alarms when they ring on the tripwires first. 

Steve sleeps with his baseball bat anyhow. 

You disentangle yourself from Steve's grips and meet his eyes. He doesn't need you to tell him, but you give him a look that hopefully says, Maybe you should talk to him. Eyebrows raised gently, lips pursed. 

Steve sighs like he's preparing himself and shuffles around you. He doesn't begrudge Dustin needing cheering up, you know that. He probably just wishes he could offer Dustin more than, "We have food and water and a place to pee." 

Robin crawls right to your side and sets back on her haunches. "Here's what I think we should do." 

"Wait, you don't wanna wait for Steve to explain?" 

"Nope, he'll say no. Me and you have to find the best way to sell it so we can actually go."

"You aren't kidding about the girl's trip?" 

"Nope. Look, the situation is dire. We know where the mall is, we've been there tons of times. The whole group can't go and we don't trust most people to keep us alive anyways, so me, you and Steve will go. We'll sleep there or something too, so there's no pressure on us to rush back and stress out Steve." 

"Wouldn't it be safer to hurry back?" you ask. 

Robin hums. "Maybe. Uh, if we travel at night like I've been thinking about doing I don't think we could hurry back." 

"At night?" 

"We're basically nocturnal at this point." You dip your head toward her mildly. She drops the slight facade she'd had, "I would feel better. If we went at night." 

The College, the community you and your group had inhabited until recently, was attacked and destroyed by raiders. They were likely drawn by the black smoke of the small bonfire in the quad of the campus, lit to celebrate a quasi-thanksgiving. It wasn't supposed to end up the way it had. 

Robin got attacked. Steve was there to help her get away uninjured, earning himself a black eye. She can't sleep if she's by herself anymore. You hate yourself for not being there to protect them. 

She's afraid of being attacked by people rather than geeks now. Travelling at night increases the likelihood of dying via geek (you can't see them, they can smell you), but it vastly decreases the chance of meeting other people. It makes sense that a night time excursion is her preference. 

You just don't know how you feel about it, and you have no clue how you might convince Steve to go along with it.  

"So you want us to hike to the mall at night. Is it on the map? Where even is it?" 

"I don't remember the name, Steve'll know it 'cos we've been there, but what matters is that I know for a fact there's a fancy soap store. I need soap, Y/N. I can't take this anymore. And if I don't brush my teeth soon I'm going to scream, my finger can only do so much." 

Occasionally three of you take a pea sized dollop of paste and rub it over your teeth in an effort to feel less disgusting, the same way that you wash with a rag and cold water behind the treeline, and dunk your clothes in the river without detergent. Water is a good cleaner, but eventually there's a funk in the clothes that can't be washed out without soap, or Robin's current issue: oily hair.

Without soap and toothbrushes, you feel about as disgusting as a person can feel. If you don't make this trip soon, you'll be in the exact same boat as Robin, one bad stain away from screaming. 

"And the fancy soap shop definitely has soap?" 

"Definitely. And there's a department store with blankets, too. We could really improve the quality of our miserable lives." 

"You don't have to convince me," you say, though it might not hurt in actuality. You're hesitant to leave the camp, but if Robin's leaving she can't go without Steve (who would never let her go alone), or you, because you refuse to be separated from Steve (or her, honestly). "It's Grim Fandango who needs greasing." Grim being Steve. 

Steve has managed to wrap an arm around Dustin. You're half-expecting Dustin to be wriggling under his touch, desperate for an escape, a teenage boy allergic to both sincerity and affection, but Dustin's dissolved like jello powder in boiling water, totally slouched into Steve's side. Steve's hand runs the younger boy's upper arm briskly.

"It'll be okay, dude, I promise. We've come this far," Steve says. 

"I'm just tired," Dustin says quietly. 

"Maybe we should sell it, as uh, an enrichment trip," you suggest to Robin. "We can get stuff for the kids, some board games or something." They need an escape. 

"I miss my books," Robin says. 

"Holy shit, me too. Steve says you can tell the plot of every Agatha Christie novel from memory, is that true?" you ask. 

"Only the good ones. Can I lie down on you?" 

You let Robin lie down with her head on your thigh. It can't be comfortable but maybe it's better than the floor, or maybe it's just nice to be close to someone. You like having Robin with you. You'd been so apprehensive of her when you met, not because she was Steve's best friend —though that did worry you to some extent— but because you had trust issues to the neck and she was the first person beside Steve to be nice to you without motivation. In this world, that doesn't check out. 

"What ones do you know?" 

"Murder on the Orient Express?" she offers. 

"Okay. Set the scene, Buckley." 

Steve returns just after the detective finds out that Ratchet has been murdered. "I love this part," he says. 

"Then let me tell it." 

Robin spins for a while, but you peel away from the fire before you're too tired to stand and retreat to your makeshift tent. It's a tarp held up by two sticks and a blanket on the floor, but it works to keep away the rain and most bugs. There's not quite enough room for you three, but there's also literally no other option, and none of you mind. You squeeze in like tinned sardines, sleeping in your coats and shoes. 

In the morning, you and Robin attempt to sell your idea to Steve over lukewarm oxtail soup. You and Steve share. Robin had to tip half into a bowl for someone else. The rationing is going okay. 

You could've ended up with a can of garden peas, or chopped tomatoes.

"It's actually better if it's only us, you see, because we can sneak around and it'll be much quieter. And they don't need us here right now, everything's settled. And me and Y/N want to so we should." 

Steve wraps your hand around the can of soup so you don't touch the hot bottom. He doesn't look like he's even remotely listening to Robin, his eyes on your face and his hands not far behind. He neatens you up, so to speak, scratching a little dirt speck from your cheek and folding the rolled collar of your shirt. "This," he says finally, his hand curling behind your neck, "sounds like a very bad idea." 

You shudder happily as he starts to scratch your neck down to your shoulders. "Steve, what's bad about it? We'll be like the Three Musketeers, travelling in darkness, a mission for the people." 

"Did you ever read that book?" Steve asks, his hand dropping to your shoulder, where it stays for a reverent second. You look gross and he still wants to squeeze you. 

"No," you admit, lips on the sharp edge of your soup. You take a careful sip. 

"We get there quickly, spend a night on the mattresses at the department store, and… Hey, why don't we go live in the mall?" Robin asks. 

The idea of a real mattress is seductive, but not that much. 

"Because we don't want to paint a huge target on our backs?" you ask. 

"I'm kidding." Robin peers down at her soup unhappily. "I really hate oxtail." 

Steve noticeably flickers. He meets your eyes, and you think he's speaking to you in his head. Fucking hell, I can't believe what I'm about to agree to. 

"If you can convince Mrs. Byers to delegate us an actual weapon, then okay, fine, we can go to the mall." He stretches out his mostly healed knee and rubs it with both hands. "Fuck. A knife. Actually, I want each of us to have a weapon. So if you can somehow magic that into being, we can go." 

"I don't see why we even had to ask permission," Robin jokes, "like it's the sixties or something." She springs up to her feet, forces her oxtail soup into the hands of one of the preteens by the fire, and beelines for the small crowd of kids surrounding one much taller Joyce. 

"You'd still come with us even if you didn't want to," you say. 

"Yeah, obviously. Robin's right, this isn't the sixties. That being said, if it was a worse plan, I'd tie you to a tree." 

"I could be into that," you tease, pleased when he scoffs through a laugh. His elbow drives into your side. "Stop, fiend." 

"No, fiend. Take the force of my elbow." He nudges you. 

You elbow back. He elbows harder. You potentially give him a bruise and feel extremely bad when he "Oofs," aloud. 

"Sorry," you say, climbing up on your knees to put your arms on his shoulders. "Sorry, sorry, sorry." 

He shoves you away from him and you're evil, you're selfish, you want him to dote. You fall flat on your back in the dirt and grass, covering your smile with the crook of your elbow so he doesn't immediately know you're fine. 

"Shit," he cusses, kneeling between your legs, moving to hover over you. "I didn't mean to knock you down…" He sees your smile. "You lying conniving trickster." 

You smile harder, lips pressed together and your chest light as a feather for the first time in days, until suddenly he's squished on top of you and pressing down. "Ow," you fake, wriggling away from him. "I think there's a twig in my brain." 

He wriggles with you. "You suck, you made me think I hurt you." 

"Don't be a wuss, I get hurt all the time, how do you even know I'm not hurt?" 

He sighs all quiet and lifts your head off of the grass. "I can't see through your hair," he says, "did it actually hurt?" 

You take his face into your hands. Your fingers are very cold, but he doesn't flinch. 

"I'm messing with you, H." 

"When did that nickname catch on?" 

You rub his cheeks with your thumbs. Fingers behind his ears, you smooth over his short scratchy stubble affectionately. Quick, you lift your chin and touch your lips to his. It's hardly a kiss. 

He leans down slowly and makes it a better one. 

"Stop," Robin says, kicking you in the ribs. She isn't cruel about it, more of a toe touch. 

"Oh, hi, that was a quick rejection," you say, frowning. 

Robin beams. "Actually, we've been approved. One knife apiece and a request for children's clothes. Get packing!" 

She whizzes off in another direction, seemingly to pack and gather the allocated weaponry. 

Steve drops his chin back down to you. 

"Does she have secret things we don't know about?" he asks. 

You scratch his scalp, "Mm… I'm not supposed to tell you." 

He sits up. You frown.

"She really has a secret stash?"

"No, Steve," you laugh. "No, of course she doesn't. Where would she hide them?" 

Steve yanks you up by the arm playfully. You pretend to fight him, but it's no use. You'll do anything he wants you to. 

—

Steve didn't necessarily think that a hike through the outskirts of an infested city would be easy, but he also hadn't realised it would be this boring. Especially a trip he's already made in the past. Boring and kind of hard. 

It's not because you aren't capable —you might've taken a hit when The College collapsed, but you've mostly recovered, and your endurance is good. You have the best survival skills you've ever had, and Robin is similarly ready for whatever it is that might get thrown at you. Too bad preparation doesn't make you a ninja. 

He isn't at his peak and he was no man of steel beforehand, and although he was good enough to keep you both alive, he's not sure if it's still true. Plus, he wasn't expecting to feel so moody. 

You're marching on like a true warrior next to him, your hand around his wrist and swinging gently, your eyes on the ground. Steve's flashlight carves a weak path through the dusk. Soon, it'll be completely dark, and that's when he imagines his worrying will reach a fever pitch. 

For now, he tries to be chill. 

"Is my hand not good enough for you?" he asks. 

"I figure you can pull away from me quicker if you need to if we're not, like, sewed together." 

"You have weird hands," Robin interjects. "They're big. I wouldn’t hold them either.” 

"That's why they're nice hands, Robin," you say. "Well, maybe they're just nice because I love him."

"I love him. Mostly. He still has weird hands," she says. 

"You don't get it," you say. 

You wrap your arms around his bicep and hug it quickly before backing away again. He thinks you kiss his coat, but he really can't tell. 

"I don't think I want to get it," Robin says.

You're quieter when you ask, "Is that really true? You don't want to be in love?" 

In the dark, and at night, it's quiet. It's nearly always quiet everywhere you go nowadays, but it feels immense this far from the camp. Steve is on edge. Too distracted for heart to hearts. But he wants to know the answer too, so he stays nice and quiet. 

"I love that you're in love," Robin says lightly. "And I love you both. But I've seen you guys when you think you're going to lose each other, and surviving is hard enough without… that." 

You let your hand slide down to his hand, your palm flat to the top, not holding it but holding him. 

Steve clears his throat. "It's worth losing my mind every time she decides to wander off because of the peace she gives me when we're together." 

"The peace?" Robin asks. She sounds like she wants to be incredulous but his sincerity has tripped her up. 

"I'm with her and…" He can see the side of your face in the flashlight. You're smiling shyly, your gaze on the grass beneath your shoes. Footsteps rustle in the gap of his words. "I don't want to be anywhere else as long as she's there." 

"It sounds like a toothache," Robin says. 

"You know, I used to get bad toothaches all the time before we found you, and Steve made me a teeth guard out of a leather armchair with a pen knife and a needle and thread." 

"Did you just make that up? Trying to convince me about the magic of love?" Robin asks. 

"No, he really made it for me, I used to keep it in my nightstand," you say. He can hear your smile.

He made it because watching you cry from toothache left him feeling powerless. A guy who'd never even held a needle and thread before bent over his lap with a flashlight in the hours while you slept until his eyes burned because watching you sniffle made him feel sick. He can't describe the ache of it, loving you but not having kissed you, or even really told you, his girl so stressed at night your jaw had locked tight and you were reduced to whimpers each morning. Having to watch you pretend it wasn't happening until you couldn't, until you broke down crying with your hand wrapped around his wrist like it is now. Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Steve, I just– I want– I don't know– I can't– 

He was useless. He was stupid. He could barely bring himself to rub your back because he thought another touch might knock you over. 

Calm down, honey, he'd murmured. Just calm down.

He never could've imagined seeing you cry like that before he did. You couldn't move. You explained it like a headache when words became feasible again, which, Steve's had headaches; concussive migraines that were white hot and everywhere. So he could imagine it even if he'd never felt it, and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it. Willing to try anything, he'd even wondered if he could pull your tooth out himself. Mouth surgery is prone to infection, and he couldn't face levelling that amount of pain onto you personally. So rather than fix the tooth, he'd have to fix the stress. He couldn't fix the stress, so he looked for anything at all to ease the pain. Ibuprofen, codeine, even a course of antibiotics. And then, finally, the leather mouth guard. Leather stacked and sewed with sanitised, loving hands. 

"It's weird what that kind of love can bring out of you," Steve says quietly, matching the surroundings. "I did a great job. I'm a seamstress." 

Robin pretends to throw up generously and noisily. Steve shushes her. You, in a very good mood with no signs of calming down, laugh behind your hand. 

"I can make you another one," he offers. He hadn't thought about it yet, but of course you don't have it anymore. Anything in your nightstand is lost forever. 

"You might need to. I'll be a stressed mess all over again if we don't find some socks, I can feel my ankle bone piercing the back of my shoes," you say. No socks either. 

Robin's flashlight turns quickly to the right. You and Steve flinch at the same time to guard the other, peering in the exposed direction. There aren't many trees around here, so all to be seen is yellow-green grass and empty air. 

"Sorry, I got the heebies," Robin says. "Maybe it was your disgusting declarations of love." 

"Hardy-har. Where the fuck do you think we are right now?" Steve asks. 

"Wait, you don't know?" you ask. 

"You have the map," he says back. 

"Oh, right. But how do we navigate in the dark? We don't have a compass." 

"I have the compass!" Robin announces. 

"From where?" you ask. 

"How did you think we'd get there in the dark, angel?" Steve asks you genuinely. 

He doesn't have time to wonder if it's okay to call you angel. He's never done it before, but it felt right in the moment. You're kind of like an angel, protective and sweet and a symbol for goodness. 

"I thought because you guys already knew where it was– we– we set off while it was still light! I assumed we'd just walk straight." 

Steve and Robin laugh at you, but not without love. 

You pretend to sulk for a while, though you shine your flashlight at the map when he asks, your arm threaded through his and face leaning on his shoulder. "I'm so confused," you mumble. 

"Don't worry. I know where we are now," he says.

"No, I know where we are too, but I'm confused as to why I thought this was a good idea." 

"This is a good idea because I've had greasy hair for two weeks and I feel like a worm," Robin says. "And we need blankets, and moisturiser, and to feel like real people."

Steve has a better list than that. He needs moisturisers for your cracked hands, antiseptic for the healing cut on your thigh. He needs shaving foam or at the least a goddamn razor, a new shirt, you both need underwear and you're in dire need of shoes that fit. He wouldn't mind a compression support for his knee, a pair of scissors, and most of all a box of cigarettes —a quick trip to the pharmacy would fix a lot of problems. 

"I feel pretty real." 

"You're real pretty," Steve says quickly. 

"Yes! Oh, yes! Kiss?" you cheer, delighted at his swift wit. 

Steve knows —he knows— you're putting on a brave face for him. He cried on your shoulder and you haven't cried since. You're being the strong one. You're trying to make it work. 

You've always been the strong one. Steve has taken care of you so many times; held your hand in torrential rain when you were too tired to go on; scrambled through rotten floorboards to find you on your back and unconscious, fed you water in your sleep half-worried you were dying and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He's fought for you, the dead and the living —he would do worse for you. But you've done the impossible, surviving every ache and pain, coming back from things he didn't think you would. You crawled through glass for him. You stumbled in the dark bleeding and exhausted to do as he asked, to meet him at the end of an endless day. 

He gives you the kiss you asked for. There's only one clue that you aren't as happy as you seem. Your breath catches as he leans down, like you thought he might not give you one after all. 

It takes you hours to get there and way longer than you thought. You don't realise you're upon it until the grass turns to roads under your feet, and the road turns to parking lot. There's a shattering of glass spread over the floor like a spilled bag of salt that crunches under your shoes. Steve grips your elbow and the three of you creep inside past the doors. They're open, which is bad and good. Bad because someone's been here since the last time, and might still be inside. Good, because Steve's not sure any of you have the energy to open them. 

"I don't think I have to say this, but please, let's whisper from here," Steve suggests. 

"Damn, do we have to?" Robin whispers. "I was just about to start my rendition of Singing in the Rain." 

You laugh through your nose. 

"We'll go up to the bedding store, okay? And we'll grab some blankets, and then we'll find a storage room and barricade ourselves in."

"Steve, I wanna sleep on a mattress," Robin whines. 

"But we don't know who's here," he says. "Buckley, I swear, I'll carry a mattress back to camp for you if that's what you want, but we have to live to see the morning first." 

"It's not like we haven't done it before," you say, nudging her gently. "Can we go back to whispering? I'm really nervous. I don't want to attract anything." 

"Sorry," Robin whispers. 

Being outside in the dark had felt horrifying but mostly manageable. Being inside is terrifying too, and though your flashlights make it easy to navigate now that there's walls for the light to reflect off of, it's scarier knowing this is an enclosed space. You can only run so far in either direction. 

Your fingers twist in the corner of his hoodie. He doesn't say anything. For a split second, he remembers you doing it in the past, before he'd even thought about kissing you, when you were scared and he was more angry than anything else (though not usually at you). He'd pretend he didn't feel it. He was a bitch but he was never cruel, and if you needed to scrunch the hem of his jacket in your hand to feel better then that was alright. 

"You okay?" he murmurs. 

"I'm okay. I think my cut is weeping." 

"What?" he asks, head clicking as he turns to you. "Since when?"

"Not sure, it just feels weird, like it's wet." 

"This is the kind of thing I'd love to know." Steve sighs. "The bedding place is up here somewhere. You can let me take a look at it." 

You, Steve and Robin walk up the frozen escalators, your footsteps making banging metal sounds that echo through what feels like the entire mall. Hackles raised, Steve ushers you both into the bedding store, pulling Robin by the sleeve before she can stop to deliberate over blankets to the very back of the store where a door demarcates the Staff Only room. 

"Listen," he whispers, "we are going to go in there back to back, just like we always do. Robs, I promise, as soon as I've checked her leg, I'll help you do whatever you want. Cool?" 

"My leg is fine." 

"If it gets infected, I know for a fact there aren't any antibiotics here," he says. They've looked. "We have to stay in front of it. Are you ready?" 

"Steve, we're not amateurs," Robin says. She hums. "Okay, I might be, but you owe Y/N some respect." 

"No, I'm an amateur." 

"You're not an amateur," Steve says. "Girls, please." 

"Can we veto 'girls'? I want to be dudes," Robin says. 

"Robin–" 

"Okay, okay! Let's do it." 

—

You wake up with the driest mouth in the world, your head bumping from hunger and bad sleep —the floor still feels like the floor, no matter how many pillows you have— to sounds just outside of the door. 

You hike up on elbows and feel your heart climb into your mouth. Steve's hand is on your neck, and Robin's foot is over your calf, and this is a very bad time to be locked in, especially weighed down as you are by fleece blankets. 

"Steve," you whisper, blindly reaching out with your own hand. You accidentally smack him in the face with the base of your thumb. "Oh, shit, sorry. Steve, there's something outside." 

He's impressively alert when he opens his eyes. He couldn't have been sleeping deeply. "What kind of something?" he whispers back, sitting up. 

He pushes the blankets away and climbs onto his knees. The noise happens again, quickly followed by a smash and a third sound like a thump. 

Robin flinches awake next to you. You put your hand on her shoulder, hoping it says, Hey, it's fine, you're fine.

"Where's your bag?" Steve asks you, standing up tall.

It's disgusting, but you're holed up in the employee bathroom. As far from the toilet and sinks as physically possible but with a buffer from the door. Staying in a storage closet hadn't been possible, the staff room door hanging off the hinges enough to not close, and the storage room a medium space crammed to bursting with mattresses and shelves of sheets that wobbled threateningly when touched. 

Your bag is somewhere under the blankets. You scramble onto your knees and search for it. You'd put your things away for the sake of neatness. Silly move.  

"Here," you say, pulling out a flashlight for Steve. He takes it into one hand, pen knife in the other unsheathed. "It's probably a geek." 

"Yeah. Can you put your shoes on?" he asks, not unkindly. 

You shake yourself and do as he asks you to. Robin helps you up. Steve creeps to the door, waiting for you both before he opens it into the main floor. 

"I don't think we need the torch," Robin says. 

Daylight illuminates the room through the windows set in the west wall. You all squint and step out, arms in defensive positions, treading softly so as not to be heard. 

Another thump. You can't hear footsteps, exactly, just the occasional, irregular thump. Geeks are usually noisier. Dragging steps. They'll walk into walls if they're following a specific scent. 

Steve turns to you both and raises his eyebrows. Brace yourselves. 

He hits the butt of the knife into the wall three times. 

Nothing shows itself. You stand frozen for a few minutes anyways, even when Steve and Robin decide they want to venture further into the room and scope out the place. You watch their backs, heart still pounding and with no signs of stopping. 

“Oh, fuck,” Steve curses. 

“What?” you and Robin hiss at the same time. 

“Come here. Y/N, come over here,” he says, like you aren’t already half-way across the floor to meet them. 

Steve gestures at a showcase bed with velvet purple sheets. They’re not even dusty, no signs of time or wear, nothing to speak of a different age. Nothing, that is, beside the dead bird on the pillowcases, and the carpeting of fur surrounding it. It's odd for Steve to point you towards any gore, and you're a tad shocked, until he takes your forearm in his hand and pulls you in front of him. "See?" he murmurs. 

He points to the pillow. You follow his finger. 

Robin speaks first. Correction, Robin squeaks first. 

"Is that a cat?" she asks, all the excitement of her discovery squashed tightly into a frankly impressive whisper-shout. 

Robin refuses to move after that. She begs Steve for some of the dried jerky (of unknown origin and animal) from the rucksack and lays down on her stomach when the tugged tabby you've found flees beneath the bed frame. "Here, kitty," she murmurs, her gentlest tones. "Come on, killer, I need your help." 

Steve nudges you.

"Oh, you're talking to me?" you ask Robin.

"I need your help," Robin insists, looking at you from over her shoulder. Her hair is limp around her face, her cheeks flushed red with excitement. "She has to know we're all friends."

"Watch my back?" you ask Steve. 

He sits on the end of the bed, "Don't have to ask." 

You set down carefully next to Robin and peer under the bed for the tabby. Your arrival has scared her half to death. 

"Maybe she's only used to seeing geeks," you say. 

"Maybe she thinks we're geeks," Robin says agreeably. 

"Me and Steve found a dog once, but he wouldn't let us touch. He begged for food and then he ran away," you say. 

"The dog wouldn't let you touch him, or Steve wouldn't let you touch the dog?" Robin asks, waving the jerky around.

"A bit of both." 

"Kitty," Robin sings. 

"Oh, god, this is comfy as fuck," Steve mumbles, laying down in bed. "Robin, you have to get up and watch your six, babe." 

You and Robin laugh in sync and aloud at his 'babe'. It's you who stands and continues taking mild guard. You're not worried about intruders anymore, thinking that any company would have presented itself already, but you like keeping them safe. You take check of every corner of the room, spinning in the world's slowest circle. Robin baby talks to the cat under the bed while offering scraps of jerky. Steve, having curled away from the bird, lets his fingertips brush your thigh each time you turn. 

"Getting dizzy?" he asks. 

"Yes. And hungry, too, which is a weird feeling together. Can I have some of the jerky?" 

Steve offers the bag. "If you're hungry, eat what you want, but if you can keep it to a little portion just in case we can't find anything else, honey…" 

You stop spinning so much to eat jerky. You eat more than you should, you hunger a cruel, sharpened thing that jabs from your stomach and up into your diaphragm. You hand Steve back the bag before you can eat someone else's share and decide to focus on the other negatives in your life, like your shoes. 

"Can we look for shoes soon?" you ask. 

"Yeah, honey," Steve says. Honey, honey. His voice is soft with an ever-present fatigue. 

"I don't think this cat likes me very much," Robin says, still singing. 

"She's just scared. Maybe if we leave and come back again she'll realise we're friendly," Steve says. 

"Yes sir." Robin stands, brushing herself down. "Oh, ew, Steven, how can you lie there? You know the cat's probably spayed all over that bed, right?" 

Steve springs up. "Okay, ew." 

“It’s okay,” she says. “Let’s go get some new clothes.”

It’s harder than it should be. The three of you move from store to store on high alert for what has to be an hour, searching for practical, fitting clothes. The time for modesty is over, and you take turns changing in front of one another while the others make sure you aren’t about to become naked geek feed. You’re so unclean that putting clean clothes on feels wrong, but you do it anyhow. You double back to the store with suitcases and bags and fill a suitcase to bursting point with the clothes that Joyce requested for the children. You sit yourselves down at some point, always exhausted, to try on sneakers. The relief of finding and changing into a pair that fits cannot be understated. When you’re sure there’s at least pants and a sweater for every child, you pack up and head for the fancy soap shop. 

Robin is ecstatic. Ideally, you can all carry one bag on your shoulders and pull one suitcase, so you each fill a bag with soaps and brushes and powders, figuring that if you find food or medication worth carrying you can empty one of the bags rather than double back. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t actually sleep on a mattress,” Steve says. 

Robin shrugs nonchalantly, kicking aside an empty helium tank with her foot as you pass by a card and gift store. She’s grown less happy as time goes on, unsatisfied with the day's events. Finding nice soap hadn’t felt important with no water around to use it. The cat was rabid, you’re all living off of jerky and river water, and now you have to hike home again in the dark, hours of fear and tenseness. 

“I miss your car,” Robin says. 

You hadn’t ever been in Steve’s car, but you say, “Me too.”

“Maybe we should find a real tent,” Steve says, apparently not listening. 

“Isn’t that kind of mean?” Robin asks. 

“I mean, if the others wanted a tent, they could’ve come.”

“I don’t think it's mean,” you say. “But I don’t see how we can carry it.”

“I can carry it,” Steve says. “Just a small one. Big enough for us.”

“Does us include me?” Robin asks. 

Steve laughs. “Duh, it includes you. It’s Y/N that’s gonna have to sleep outside.”

“Or me and her can have the tent and you can be our watchdog.”

“We can’t, um, stay outside forever, right?” you ask quietly. 

Steve puts his arm over your shoulder for a quick squeeze. “No, we can’t. We’ll find somewhere permanent soon. There’s barely any geeks the more we get into Michigan, who knows. Maybe there's none at all up top. But…" He lets you go. "I'll find somewhere." 

"Steve, you sound ridiculous," Robin says. "'I'll find somewhere,'" she quotes, voice deepened. 

Robin might joke, but you feel reassured by Steve's promise. You keep your head up for the rest of the day. 

— 

Later, much later, when you've travelled back to the camp with aching everythings and taken the world's coldest bath in the river nearby, you, Robin and Steve pitch your brand new tent and near collapse. It was night when you finally reached the camp that day, and so it was morning by the time you laid down. Steve has to admit that bathing and building a tent in the dark had been fun, annoying and indicative of the situation but a pleasure anyhow, to hear his favourite people in the whole world trying not to shriek at the cold water, overjoyed and laughing as you finally washed your face with real soap, and terrified that the river would knock you down. 

You're shaking with the cold now in his arms, practically sitting on his thigh as you brush his still damp hair back from his eyes. 

"I can't believe you're still cold," he says, kissing the line of your jaw affectionately. 

Robin, despite hours without sleep, had volunteered to help Sarah corral the younger kids for some early breakfast. Steve thinks it's because she likes Sarah. Your theory was that she's generous enough to give you a half hour of privacy. She's good like that. 

Whatever it is, you're alone for the first time in days. It's no different than when you're with friends, only you're touchier and Steve's an honest fool. 

You wrap one of your new blankets tighter around your shoulders and shift. "Am I hurting you?" 

"Nope." He squeezes you tightly to his front. "You're shivering. Put your hands under my shirt." 

You do it quickly, smiling like he's given you the world. "'Member when you'd let me do this? Even when we weren't really dating?" 

"We were dating," he says. 

"What, before or after the taco truck incident?" 

"Before," he says sharply. He pauses. "Alright, maybe not then. But we were definitely dating when you'd put your hands in my shirt. You don't do that for just anyone, I'm not a run around." 

"Steve, you used to let me sleep in your lap. Like, a month after we met." 

"'Cos you get so damn cold," he says. You're still shivering. He rests his cheek against your neck. "If I didn't let you, you'd spend the whole night shivering and making these really sad sounds." 

He's not even teasing. Just being honest. 

"I'm sensitive," you say. 

"You're used to sleeping indoors like a normal person." 

You ease off of his lap. He doesn't want you to; he'd keep you close forever. Plus, he feels guilty cuddling you in front of Robin because he knows public displays are uncomfortable, so he wants to really take you in while he can. 

"I have something to tell you," you say. 

"Oh?" 

"Or, something to give you. But I can tell you something if that matters." 

"Tell me anything." Everything. He wants to know everything you have to say. 

"Well… well, before this happened…" You rummage through the bag you'd brought home with you, the tip of your tongue peaking out. "You know, before the world half ended, I wasn't– I don't know if I can say it." 

"Please?" he asks. 

You pull something into your hand. "Alright. I didn't think I'd ever fall in love. And then the world ended, and I really didn't think I would, but you found me and I love you, so it wasn't true." 

He thinks about it. You, years ago, when he'd see you in the halls at school or walking home. He doesn't have much recollection of you beyond that, but it aches in a weird way to think you'd been walking around feeling like you wouldn't be loved. 

Steve licks his lips. "I get it, because I kind of worried the same thing. Like I'd keep loving people more than they loved me." 

"And then you met Robin?" 

"Exactly. She taught me more about love as my best friend than any of the girlfriends I had." 

"Well, I didn't get a Robin back then, but I have you now, and I guess I want you to know it's important to me," you say. "I know things are so hard right now, I know," —you clear your throat as emotion creeps in to your tone— "you put on a brave face for me. I know you're tired. But I keep going for you, and you keep going for me, and I want you to have something so you remember that even if I'm… not around." 

Steve sits up straight. "Hey, you're not going anywhere." 

You blink rapidly.

"Where is it that you think you're going without me?" he asks, softer. 

"Nowhere. But I just need you to know how much I loved you." 

"Love," he corrects. 

"How much I love you," you agree, sniffling. You look around at the tent floor, your shoulders raised just so. "Sorry, I'm not gonna cry or anything, I just hate thinking about it." 

You hand him something wrapped in a new sock. He bites his lip to stop from laughing at the wrapping and unpeels his gift. 

It's a watch. Silver, heavy, glass unscathed and hands tick tick ticking. Steve doesn't know if the time is accurate. His old watch broke a long time ago, but this one looks vaguely similar. 

"You gave me a necklace, once, with a little diamond. I know I don't have it anymore, I shouldn't have taken it off. But you gave it to me when I was miserable, and I know you're not miserable, but–" 

"I am," he says, rubbing his thumb over the watch. There's a tiny diamond set at the bottom of the clock face. He has no idea why, but the idea that you saw it and remembered his gift that long ago, that you wanted him to know you love him, that pays for some truth. "I'm miserable. I'm so scared for us." He breathes out hard. "Sorry." 

Steve's eyes tear up. He tries not to let it show, but he's looking down at the watch and his vision is blurring, and he's thinking Fuck, fuck, I'm crying in front of her again. 

You shuffle across the plastic floor toward him and clutch his hand. He's shaking minutely. You must feel it.

"It's okay, baby," you murmur. 

He ducks his head. 

"It's okay. I know," you say. 

"I know that you know," he says. 

"But it's hard," you prompt. 

"Yeah." 

You needle your arm behind his neck and him close. He can't hold back anymore, throwing his arms around your waist because why would you say that stuff to him? You're so evil, you're horrible, you're the very best thing that's ever happened to him and he loves you and what if you do die? Nobody will ever, ever be like you. There's no one out there with your smile, nobody who turns at the sound of his voice as you do, happy before you've set eyes on him and ecstatic when you have. 

And if you live (please, God, if you live), Steve wants to give you a better life than this. He's constantly panicking because he doesn't know how. 

But you don't mind. You don't love him less for the situation. 

"I don't even know what to tell you," you say, stroking the hair at the back of his neck tenderly, "cos I tell you I love you so much it doesn't feel like what I mean. I love you. I love you, Steve." 

He hugs you until he's not crying, wishing his cheeks would dry themselves when he finally raises his head and kisses your cheek. "Thank you," he says roughly. 

Steve sits back and wipes his nose. You offer the sock. He laughs and bats it away. 

"I love you, too," he says. He thrusts his wrist at you. "Strap me in?" 

You fasten Steve's watch and, in what's becoming a theme, you kiss his pulse. 

"Sorry things have been so hard," you say, adjusting the watch until it's sat comfortably.

"You make it easier." 

"Guys!" Robin says, forcing her way into the tent with an exuberant smile on her face. There's something in her arms, a wriggling mass of matted fur. "Look! The cat followed us home! I'm gonna name him Stinkyboy! Or Shark. Get up, I need help catching a fish!" She waves the cat's paw at you both. "I knew he liked me!" 

—-

the Steve zombie au

[lainiespicewrites]

The Christmas Cabin 2-Ice skating

I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I genuinely intended to get this posted before Christmas buuuuuuttt I ended up with a horrible toothache ache and that was a whole thing. And it's real hard to feel sexy and write smut when your tooth is screaming at you.. and then the holidays.... ugh ...ANYWAY here is part 2 of the Christmas cabin! Happy New Year Y'all!!!

Warnings: Umm So much smut! Cursing, rough sex, daddy kink, oral. the usual suspects

Per usual I was to excited about posting this so I probably/definitely didn't proofread. so Yes I do own those mistakes. I'm sorry. I'm human okay!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a perfectly relaxing night I had some of the best sleep in a long time. In the morning I actually woke up before Sy for once and snuck downstairs to make breakfast. I turned on some soft christmas music in the background and sang to myself in the kitchen while I cooked. Aika made her way downstairs at the smell of bacon. I couldn’t help but laugh when Sy stumbled down the stairs a minute behind her. 

“Like father, like daughter.” I teased. He smiled and came over kissing my shoulder. 

“Smells amazing baby, you didn’t have to cook.” He said. 

“You always do it for me, go relax,” I smiled at him. He walked over and let Aika out the back door. Then he sat at the breakfast bar watching me. I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“What?” He smirked. 

“Enjoying the show?” I asked. Trying to play coy. 

“Only thing that would make it better is if you were naked.” He winked. I blushed and bit my lip trying to focus on flipping the pancakes. When I finished cooking we sat at the little table. Sy pulled me into his lap again. “I like having you close to me.” He mumbled as he nuzzled his nose against my neck, softly tickling me with his beard. I let out a little whimper trying to hold it together. 

Things had sort of slowed down a bit in that department and I know it was driving him crazy. I had been teasing him a lot lately too. But he was never one to push for anything. He was always respectful of any boundaries, not that I was ever afraid he’d cross any. But it’d been a week or so since we’d been intimate. He was sick with a cold last week so we hadn’t stayed together much and when we settled into bed last night as much as I could tell he was trying nothing happened. It was torture for me too but I liked that I held all the cards. And it made it so much more fun, when we finally did get there. 

“Sy, we’ve got things to do today. Don’t distract me.” I pouted, wiggling a little in his lap. He chuckled, squeezing my hip to hold me still.

“We’re on vacation baby, we ain’t got nothin to do.” I could feel his smirk against my neck as he started to leave a trail of  wet kisses from my shoulder to my ear. He really knew what he was doing. And it almost worked. 

“But Bear,” I turned in his lap so I was straddling him now. His hands went right back to my waist.  I wrapped an arm around his shoulder and the other hand was absentmindedly drawing shapes on his bare chest. “We gotta decorate the tree. And you said something about an ice skating rink, that sounds so fun baby, can we go?” He let out a long sigh and shook his head. I could feel the deep laugh in his chest. 

“You’re killing me Sugar, you know it?” I smiled, still scratching at his chest hair. “Yeah, I’ll take you skating baby girl.” He kissed me softly. 

We finished breakfast and got dressed for the day. I annoyed him some more and put the christmas music on again when I drug the ornaments back out. I started singing again in the living room while I wrapped garland around the tree. I was lost in “o’holy night,” when I felt his arms around me again. 

“Hey handsome,” I smiled. He rocked us back and forth for a moment, laying his head on my shoulder. 

“You never told me you could sing like that baby, I could listen to you all day.” I blushed. 

“It’s nothing, just enjoying the music.” I said. 

“You sound like an angel, sugar, I could listen to christmas music all day if it was coming from you,”  He kissed my cheek.

“You’re so sweet. I guess I didn’t realize you’d never heard me. ” I turned in his arms, pecking him on the lips softly. “We can work on the tree later. I’m really excited to go skating!” He slid his hands down and smacked my ass and I let out a squeal. Logan chuckled. 

“Alright Darlin’, go get in the truck.” 

After a short drive into town we parked outside of a local public park. The ice skating rink wasn’t all that busy today which was great, because I was sure to fall a few times. It’s been years since I've been ice skating. Logan immediately grabbed my hand when I hopped out of the truck. He kept me close the whole time we walked around the park. We finally found the place to rent our skates and settled on a bench outside the rink to put them on.  “Okay, I’ve gotta warn ya, you remember when we were bowling, and you asked what I can’t do? This.. this is what I can’t do.” I tried really hard not to laugh. Because he looked so serious. Really I tried. But I laughed so hard I snorted. He pouted. “You making fun of me baby?” He asked. 

“No, no it’s just,” I took a deep breath trying to calm down. “I didn’t actually expect you to be good at everything Sy. I’m probably not going to be good at this either.” I chuckled. He smiled a little, brushing his thumb across my cheek.

“Such a sweet girl,” he mumbled. “You always find the bright side to everything, don't ya?” I blushed. 

“I’m a high school counselor Sy, it’s my job. At least to try.” I brushed my fingers up and down his big arm a few times. “You’re stalling,” I chuckled. “You can’t be that bad Bear.” His eyes lit up from the nickname. I don’t know when I started using it. But he accepted it without hesitation. I think he honestly liked it. During all of this back and forth I’d managed to get my skates on. “You can’t back out on me now, you promised.” He chuckled.

“To be fair, I promised to take you skating, I didn’t promise I would skate. My balance is horrible.” 

“Yeah all those big muscles make you top heavy,” I winked. “Come on big guy, we’ll get you one of those plastic penguins to hold on to.”  He raised an eyebrow and smirked. Finally putting on the skates.

“You makin fun of me?” he asked.

“Me? Never!” I chuckled.

 I tried really hard. I did. Let the record show. That I attempted not to laugh. We walked out to the ice  on wobbly feet. I had a pretty rough start myself. I had to hold on to the ledge until muscle memory kicked in. I was still a little shaky. But I was able to slowly skate along the edge of the rink. Sy… well, the funniest thing I’ve ever seen is a big, strong, 6’1, rugged, grizzly bear of a man, afraid to fall. 

“I can’t do it,” He shook his head, he had a white knuckled grip on the ledge. 

“You sure as hell can’t do it if you don’t let go, Logan,” I bit my lip to keep the smirk off my face. 

“I’m gonna fall on my ass if I do.” He grumbled. I skated over to him and gently grabbed his arm. He looked panicked. My poor Bear. He was never gonna live this down. 

“Come on baby, you can hold my hand, I got you.” I teased. He rolled his eyes. 

“I hate you,” He he mumbled

“You do not,” I giggled as he grabbed my hand, slowly letting go of the wall. 

“You know if I fall you’re going down with me.” He stated. I pushed off slowly. As tightly as he was holding my hand you’d think I was giving birth. I pulled Sy along with my trying to coach the coach. But it wasn’t going well. 

“It’s a good thing you don’t like hockey.” I snorted when he stumbled again trying to push off from the wall. We almost made it around once.  He leaned in close and growled in a low voice. 

“You’re pushing your luck today little girl.” I bit my lip and smirked. I loved getting him all riled up like this. The thing is. Our relationship is much more than sexual. But in all honesty we can’t get enough of each other. I love pushing his buttons. I know that it sets something off in him. The night after our first date, he was so dominant and in control. And I loved that. I did everything I could to bring that out in him. Sometimes it meant being a brat. He’d never admit it. But he enjoyed that too. 

“Ooh I’m so scared, you can’t even stand up straight without losing your balance cowboy.” I smirked. 

He grabbed the wall with one hand and grabbed my waist with the other spinning me around to face him. I almost lost my balance but I held onto the ledge keeping me upright. He licked his lips looking me over. 

“If I could, I'd bend you over right here for everyone to see, baby girl. You’ve been teasing me for days. You wanna keep pushing it? we won’t make it home before I fill up that pretty little pussy, do I make myself clear?” 

“Crystal,” I let out a deep breath, keeping my eyes on his. Even off his game, he was still so intimidating and intense.

“I’ll give you a headstart back to the truck.” He smirked. Again, I tried. I couldn’t help myself. I started to skate back to the entrance but I stopped and looked back at him. 

“Not like you’d be able to keep up anyway Daddy,”  He stopped and stared at me, raising an eyebrow. 

“Get your ass in the truck, now.” he growled. I bit my lip and nodded. I switched back to my regular boots and returned the skates. Logan was only a few steps behind me when I started to walk out to the truck. I was almost there when I felt grab my hip and spin me around. He backed me up against the passenger door cupping my jaw and tracing my lips with his thumb. “Give me one good reason not to bend you over the seat and take you right here.”  He mused. I pouted and laid my hand on his chest.

“It’s cold Bear,” He chuckled and pressed his body closer to mine, completely pinning me to the truck. He slid his hand down to my neck resting his thumb and fingers on either side squeezing softly.

“You got yourself into this sugar, don’t play innocent now.” He finally leaned in and kissed me roughly, keeping his hand on my neck. I moaned into his mouth, letting him take control. Reaching between us I slid my hand over the growing bulge in his jeans and squeezed teasingly. He moaned, dropping his head to my shoulder. 

“What’s stopping you?” I smirked. He was putty in my hands now.  He kissed my neck softly letting his hands wander over my curves. He stopped suddenly and chuckled to himself. 

“A public indecency charge, get in the truck baby girl, I’ll deal with you at home,  this ain’t over,” he said and gave me one last kiss before he opened the door for me and smacked my ass as I turned to hop up into the truck. 

The whole drive home he had one hand on the wheel and the other on my inner thigh. It was… well, it was never innocent, but it was less intense at first. He just rested it there letting me know he fully intended to keep me in check. It was so hot. I felt hot all over. With just one little touch. It sent sparks through me. That with one touch, one grip, he asserted his dominance. Maybe it was just because I let him. Or maybe it was because he was such a force to be reckoned with that something so simple demanded respect. Eventually, he started to move 

his hand farther up my thigh, massaging it with his fingers and rubbing in slow circles with his thumb. 

All I could think about was feeling those fingers inside me. His thumb pressed against my clit. I let out a pathetic whimper when his hand slid back down my thigh, his thumb brushing over my knee. 

“Something wrong, sugar?” He looked over, that shit eating grin on his face, and caught my eye before looking back to the road. 

“Your teasing,” I pouted. He raised an eyebrow and chuckled. 

“Can dish it out but you can’t take it huh?” He smacked my thigh and smirked “fuckin love that sound.” He groaned and I let out another little whimper.  “Bad girls don’t get treats darlin’ , you know that,” I pouted, laying my hand on top of his and rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb

“I’m sorry, Bear,” I said softly. He hummed turning his hand and tangling our fingers together. He brought my hand to his lips kissing my knuckles.

“Sorry ain’t gonna help you now baby doll, your fate is sealed.” I swallowed hard but I could feel my excitement begin to pool between my legs. When we got back to the cabin Logan barley had the truck in park before he jumped out. I just got my door open when he grabbed me by the hips and wrapped my legs around his waist pulling me out of the truck. 

“Fuck,” I breathed out,  holding onto his shoulders as he carried me inside. He kicked the door closed behind him and walked inside dropping me on the couch.  He pushed his knee between my thighs and leaned down, crashing his lips to mine. I barely had time to catch my breath before he started pulling at my clothes. He made quick work undressing me. Tossing my sweater to the side kissing and sucking  at my chest while he worked on getting my bra out of his way, and then pulling my leggings and panties off in one swift motion. 

“Look at you,” he groaned, pulling away to admire me. I blushed instinctively trying to hide myself still not used to all of his love and attention.  He grabbed my wrists pinning them to the arm of the couch with one hand while the other started to snake up my thigh. “Mm don’t hide darlin, Daddy wants to see his girl.” I bit my lip and nodded.

I kept my eyes on him the whole time. He used his knee to spread my legs wider and caressed the crease in my leg with his thumb. He was so close to where I needed him it was making my head spin. I whined softly grinding against nothing and he chuckled. “You’ve been a real fuckin brat today you know that?” He shook his head and tutted disapprovingly. “What am I gonna do with you?” 

“I said I was sorry,” I pouted. He smiled softly 

“I know you did, baby girl,”  he sat up and pulled off his shirt. He leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips. “And you really meant that huh?” He kissed my body. Stopping to pull my nipple between his teeth and teasing the other with his tongue. My back arched, moaning softly. As I nodded.

“I did, Daddy,”  I breathed as he settled between my legs. He ghosted his thumb over my clit and smirked. He took his time kissing and biting at my inner thighs making sure to mark his territory. I was squirming beneath him dripping on to the couch. I bit my lip holding back a moan as he finally  teased around my clit with his tongue. It took everything in me not to beg. It’s what exactly what he wanted. All at once he sat up on his knees and quickly flipped me on to my stomach pulling me up slightly so I was on my knees and I was on full display for him. 

I heard the slap before I felt the sting. His hand came down hard on my ass. 

“And I said it was too late for sorry baby.” I heard the smack again this time on the other cheek and squealed in surprise not expecting the second blow. “You think its fun to tease and make fun.” He growled in a low voice. He leaned over me his hot breath against my ear. He pressed his bulge against my aching pussy and I grinded against him trying to get some friction. He reached around and grabbed my neck holding me against his chest. “I’ll show you what Daddy can do sugar. And your gonna take it like a good girl. You understand me?” He pressed further into me and I nodded moaning. He grabbed my jaw turning my face to look at him. “Words baby.” 

“Yes, Sir.” He growled deep in his chest and kissed me roughly. 

“Thats my girl,” He groaned as he pulled away. I heard the metal clang of his belt and the sound of it dropping to the floor. He pushed his jeans and boxers down his thighs and immediately lined the head of his cock up with my entrance. He ran his head through the wetness there moaning softly to himself. Then without warning he fully shoved himself inside me. I let out a strangled moan struggling to get used to his size. Sy is in no sense of the word a small man. And as many times as we’ve had sex I still have trouble taking all of him. And with no prep before hand. I could feel him stretching me open for him. 

He moved his hand around my neck to grip my hair making me arch for him. With the other on the back of the couch to steady himself, he started a relentless pace. Slamming into me and making me feel every inch of him. I was a mess underneath him moaning and crying out his name while he pounded into me. He shifted behind me pulling my hips up and thrusted back into me the new angle hitting my spot repeatedly. “Fuck Sy please,” I begged. I didn’t care anymore all I wanted was for him to make me cum for him. I need the release. I could feel it building quickly. The knot forming in my stomach. Despite his reckless pounding I knew he was still only getting started. Letting out soft little groans every time he sunk into me. 

“You wanna cum baby?” He smirked, releasing his grip on my hair and delivering another sharp smack on my ass. I moaned loudly and nodded. 

“Please, it feels so good!” I whined. Tears stinging my eyes now trying to wait for his permission. 

“Brats don’t get treats Sugar,” He chuckled. He slowed his thrusts and pulled out of me completely. I whined, looking back at him pleadingly. He stood up and picked me up off the couch,  I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pinned my back to the wall. He teased my entrance with his cock slowy pushing in again. I held onto him as he started to fuck me against the wall. I kissed him roughly moaning into his mouth as he picked up his pace again. 

“I’m so sorry Bear,” I moaned starting to feel the fire build in my stomach again. God this is what I loved and hated about him. He was so fucking stubborn and incredibly thorough. He wasn’t gonna give this up. “I-I shouldn’t have teased you.” I stuttered trying to stay coherent. He smirked kissing my neck and grabbing my hips helping me meet his thrusts. 

“Mhmm,” He groaned into my neck, “What else baby?” he teased. God I didn’t know if I could last I could already feel my legs shaking. I knew he could to. 

“I won’t do it again. I-I promise, I love you baby, just please please let me cum.” I don’t know if I was making sense anymore. I would do anything for him at this point. He reached one hand between us rubbing my clit with his thumb and I screamed out his name letting my head hit the wall. 

“That’s my good girl. I love hearing your desprate little moans. Cum for Daddy baby.” He kept his thumb on my clit while I barried my head into his neck moaning his name and letting my walls clamp around him. My whole body spasming while he holds me up. I let out a deep breath and he chuckled kissing me softly when I raised my head from his shoulder. He walked back to the couch and sat with me in his lap straddling him. Still fully hard inside me. He had incredible stamina but I knew he was desprate now too. I felt him twitch inside me begging for release. I braced myself on the back of the couch and started bouncing in his lap it wasn’t long before he was cursing under his breath. And grabbing my hips trying to take control again. 

“Such a good girl, you look so good riding me.” he groaned smacking my ass as I countineud to ride his cock. I could feel another orgasm building. The thought of him filling me up making me feral. I moaned chasing my orgasm. I let him guide me on his cock as he started to get close himself. “Gonna fill this pussy up baby. Wanna see you dripping with my cum.” He moaned. Kissing me roughly and thrusting up into me he let out deep growl as he released inside me I continued to ride him as I reached my own high. 

I collapsed against him in his lap. Laying my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his big arms around me holding me against his chest. After resting for a few minutes I broke the silence preparing soft kisses on his neck. 

“Thank you for taking me ice skating baby,” I giggled. “Even though you hated it.” I felt him let out a deep chuckle from his chest. 

“Any time baby girl. You know I’d do anything for ya, even if I suck at it.” He smirked. I snorted. 

“You really almost had it bear.” I teased. He raised an eyebrow a mischievous look in his eye. 

“You tryna go for another punishment?” He asked. I bit my lip. 

“I don’t know if I could handle anymore.” I blushed. 

“We’ll see about that,” He smiled and kissed me passionately.

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[cyrygher]

The Shadows Desires // Azriel

RATING: 15 / 957 WORDS

Author’s note: I just needed to take this idea out of my mind. I really thought about ending with smut but I think I will eventually write a part 2 for this. Oh btw, english is not my first language, neither it is my second or third language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Enjoy! :)

My feet move away from the window, giving him space to enter. Azriel passes through the doorway retracting his wings, landing with elegance in each gesture.

"Did you take a shower?”

"I did. You must need one, since you left early in the morning and only came back now.”

“Are you suggesting I stink?” He raises an eyebrow, forcing an offended expression.

“I’m suggesting that I really want to see you in a bathtub.”

Azriel's eyes widen for a brief moment, but what follows is not astonishment but something darker and more perverse. The chocolate irises become dark, cloudy, the pupils dilated.

“I suppose you will not join me.”

"Not today. I don’t think you deserve it after disappearing all day.”

"Fair."

“Uh-huh.” I walk predatorily towards him, a smile forming at the corner of my lips, as my hands roam Azriel's chest, searching for the buttons to remove the armour.

“How do you take it off?” I whisper.

Azriel doesn't respond. But faster than he can fill his lungs with air, the top part of the armor disappears, as do the blue siphons that decorated it.

Azriel's torso is left bare, rid of any fabric.

My mouth waters at the sight and I don't care to hide it.

My fingers touch the warm, rigid skin, drawing a sigh from the male. Slowly, I look up at him, and he's already staring at me in a way that ignites every pure thought in my mind.

“What about the bottom part?” I ask, biting my lip to keep from laughing.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re not discreet at all?”

"Some. Why? Would you rather I had made up an excuse for wanting to see you without those pants?”

"Oh no. Feel free to see me naked at any time… you came so far just for it, isn't that right pet?”

My blood roared through my veins, begging him to do it at once.

Like the top, Azriel's armored pants disappear in the blink of an eye, leaving only the black fabric of the boxers he wears.

I look at him irritated.

“This is starting to get boring, Azriel. Are you going to take it off piece by piece?”

“I believe you can help me remove this one.”

“I can definitely do so. Come here."

Azriel takes my hand and I drag him into the bathroom, turning the bathtub tap back on.

“Cold, please,” he asks.

"Are you feeling hot?" I look at him amusedly, quickly scanning the way the fabric of his boxers is stretched by the erection.

"A little."

I do as he asks, leaving the water cold, looking at him with my lips stuck in between my teeth. My feet move without needing a command and soon I'm sharing the same breath as him, feeling the heat emanating from his masculine body.

My fingers run along Azriel's chest, making a path downward, never losing eye contact. There, in those almond-shaped orbs, you see everything he is feeling and everything he wants to do. It's ecstatic to see desire dancing and intoxicating all of the male's features.

When my fingers finally find the fabric of the boxers, they dig into the sides, pulling the fabric down. It needs to be stretched to free Azriel's member, that is so hard and bounces as soon as the boxers free it completely.

My knees drop to the floor to completely remove the uncomfortable fabric, and my eyes fixate on the monstrous erection in front of me.

Swallowing hard, I blink a few times, trying to calculate how I would make this work, because there was no way this would fit inside me.

"Is there a problem?" Azriel asks amused.

"It depends."

“Depends on?”

“It depends if you mind carrying me around….”

“Not that I’m complaining, but why would I have to carry you, darling?”

“Because there’s no way I’m going to walk after this” I point to the dick in front of me, which seems to be staring back at me.

Azriel tries to hold back his laughter, but it's a futile struggle. He kicks the fabric of his boxers that were stuck to his feet, and pulls me up, placing his lips next to my ear.

“I promise you, the last thing I will do is hurt you. When I'm inside you, the only thing you'll feel is pleasure. And not just in the traditional way. I want to taste you with my tongue before anything else.”

My spine arches at the lustful, husky voice that reverberates through every nerve ending in my body, gripping the male's biceps as if it could keep me upright.

“You shouldn’t say things like that.”

"Why?"

“Because I’m so tempted not to let you take that shower.”

“Can I confess something to you?” he whispers, as he runs his fingers down my side, increasing the flame that crackles inside my blood.

"You can."

“I love your nightgown. But I will have to destroy it.”

Before I can ask why, Azriel takes me in his arms, stepping into the tub with me, completely drenching the blue silk.

“Azriel!” I shout, slapping his shoulders.

He just laughs, placing me over his lap, his hard member poking me, sending my sanity to hell.

“I warned you I would destroy it”

“Actually, I just need to dry it.”

"No. That won’t do it."

The male's hands go to the neckline of the nightgown and, as if it was made of paper, rips it from top to bottom, revealing the lingerie set of the same colour, his siphons’ colour. My face turns red, but the shame passes away when I notice in Azriel's eyes, a transcendental lust and desire.

[phantomspiderr]

Happy Birthday, Marc

Pairing: Marc Spector x afab!reader & Steven Grant x afab!reader

Word Count: 3k+

Summary: You think birthdays are something important, a chance to celebrate your favourite person, to give them anything they want and make them feel good. And maybe Marc will look forward to his birthday from now on.

Warnings/Tags: 18+ smut bby, unprotected p in v, fingering, a little manhandling, it's fluffy i'm ngl, use of the nicknames baby & sweetheart

a/n: besties i'm ngl i'm exhausted and i've probabaly missed things in order just to post this cause I started writing it like a week ago and just got the urge to finish it. So i'm sorry if i'm missing tags and stuff, let me know if there's things missing. But I hope you like it anyways, love you, appreciate you and now i'm going to sleep

“Marc,” it comes out in a breathy whisper and your lips are pressed back to his skin before you’re even finished drawing out his name. For once, by some miracle, you’d woken up before your boyfriend so it was only right to wake him in the best way you know how. It was also just coincidentally his birthday and you think today should be all about him and things that make him feel good.

Continuing at your slow pace, you place kisses on his cheek, moving down to his jaw and then his neck. If he was awake he’d call you a tease, especially with the way you’re straddling his waist, and definitely for your choice of clothing—or lack thereof. You’d maybe went online and bought yourself a cute, new underwear set and maybe you’d planned to buy it the week before Marc’s birthday. Now, you just have to hope it will be Marc fronting when he wakes, not that you’d complain if it was Steven or Jake. 

You call his name again, hoping that will somehow unconsciously pull him to front as you gently tug on the neckline of his tshirt so you can press kisses to his collarbone. Your hands move delicately against his skin too, lightly brushing over his arms or holding his face and they sneak under the hem of his shirt to feel the relaxed muscles there.

“Baby.” This time his body stirs a little, a deep, quiet groan escaping him. A smile creeps its way onto your face as you sit back to admire him. He looks so pretty like this, hair all tousled against the pillow and face completely relaxed, the frown lines that seem like a permanent feature faded with sleep. 

Your hands are still resting under his shirt against his stomach, slowly creeping higher before coming back down. His body begins to wriggle every time your featherlight touch runs across his sides and a giggle bubbles in your throat when he half-heartedly swats your hands away. Mercifully you stop your hand's cruel pursuit and go back to pressing tender kisses to his neck. You quietly call out for Marc again between kisses and this time he shifts more, the quiet groans turning more into little whines. The sounds only spur you on more, holding his chin in your hand so you can switch sides. Your ministrations continue until you feel his hands anchor themselves on your hips. He’s pushing you down more into his lap, the contact forcing a whimper out of you. 

You keep his face delicately held in your hand and go back to kissing his cheek. His hands start moving up your sides, shivers running up your spine at the movement. 

“Well this is some way to wake up,” his voice is groggy and any other time you’d smile and egg him on to talk more until the rough tone faded but it’s not the voice you’d hoped for. You physically deflate, your head briefly sinking into the pillow over his shoulder before you sit up again. Fighting the urge to quietly moan when you accidentally grind against him. 

“What’s wrong, love?” The sweet British accent you’d normally swoon for only causes your pout to grow. Upon your withdrawal from him, Steven’s eyes had shot open, the creases between his eyebrows harsh again. 

“I was hoping for Marc,” you sound like a spoilt child. You know that’s not how it works, you can’t just request who you want at that moment. And anyway, you love all of the boys equally so it shouldn't matter. Never do you want one of them to feel inferior to the others but the quiet oh that leaves Steven has you panicked you’ve done just that. “No! I didn’t mean I don’t want you, Steven! I want you, trust me. It’s just… it’s silly. I wanted to do something for Marc because it’s his birthday.” Your voice dies out before you even finish. You’re looking everywhere but into his eyes and suddenly you wish you had more clothes on to cover up. 

“Oh love,” Steven props himself up on his elbows, fingertips just grazing your knees. “You know how Marc feels about his birthday.”

The more seconds that pass the more silly you feel for trying to do anything. 

“I know.” It comes out meekly, your eyes fixed on your hands that pick at the threads of Steven’s old shirt. 

“Hey,” suddenly Steven sits up, his hands soothingly cupping your cheeks and your gaze moves straight to his face, “if this is what you do for Marc’s birthday, well then I can’t wait for mine.”

Your face cracks, the sad exterior fading the longer you look at Steven's cheery features. The man seems to have a way of always making things better. 

“You know,” his eyes flicker to your lips only for a moment, “just because Marc’s not here doesn’t mean you have to stop.” Steven's rare boldness always surprises you, “it’d be a shame to waste all of this.” He leans back just a little so he can rake his eyes over your body, his hands moving down to your waist and pressing you impossibly closer. It causes you both to let out a satisfying sigh.

“You do have a point…” you let your own eyes trail down his body as your hands slowly pull up the hem of his shirt, exposing more of him. You quickly grow impatient with your own actions, tugging his shirt up and instinctively Steven raises his arms so you can pull it off. You’re both moving in the second his shirt is off, lips crashing against one another in a hasty, messy kiss. You’re sinking further into his hold as his hands grip onto you for dear life. It’s completely impulsive when you grind yourself down in his lap. It clearly takes Steven by surprise because his head falls back and a low grunt escapes him. You do it again, this time placing a kiss on his jaw and he holds you down, one of his arms wrapped securely around you. He’s back to looking at you and already he’s wrecked, panting, and disheveled. Still, even in his tight grip you manage to roll your hips, the friction feels so good and you crave more of it. 

“Right, as pretty as this is, take it off now.” He snaps the elastic of your underwear causing you to squeal and jerk in his lap again. It’s ungracious and desperate the way you climb out of his lap and tug your underwear down your legs. It seems Steven’s just as desperate as he awkwardly pulls off the sweatpants he’d slept in until he’s completely naked.

Steven looks into your eyes with pure adoration, his hands touching your thighs delicately as you settle back in his lap. You sit back on his thighs and Steven’s hands curl around to rub your back. He even blushes and has to look away when you hold his face and smile at him, a glimpse at the sweet Steven you’re used to. His head rests on your collarbone and automatically your hand slips around into his hair, gently combing through the wild curls. The soft moment has you relaxing in his hold so much so your body flinches when Steven’s hand unexpectedly grazes the inside of your thigh. Then he has you gasping in seconds, his fingers running through your soaked folds. His movements have your body rising, almost like it’s trying to get away from his touch. The hand in his hair tightens, especially as he begins to circle your clit, and your other hand grips his shoulder so much your fingers ache. The stimulation is enough to have you breathily moaning already then he’s raising his head to look at you with that dopey grin before he pushes two fingers into you, causing your jaw to drop. There’s a welcome sting before your senses are steeped in pleasure. Steven’s fingers build a pace slowly, his thumb now brushing against your clit each time he sinks into you. 

Steven looks at you like you’re the pyramids like you’re some unexplained wonder in the world that very few people get to experience. The eye contact becomes too intense that you have to close your eyes and your head instinctively rolls back. You allow the pleasure to consume you, your hips now grinding against his hand and whimpers of his name filling the room. You’re so lost in the growing feeling of your climax creeping closer that you don’t hear him speak, let alone hear the change in accent or the way his grips got a little tighter. It’s only when you feel a sharp bite to the top of one of your breasts that your head snaps back down with a yelp. 

“Look at me.” That thick Chicago accent is prominent in your ears now. “Keep your eyes right here, sweetheart,” and he smirks when you dumbly nod your head. 

“Marc.” You’re panting now as he moves a little faster and rougher than Steven had. It’s his turn to be impatient, he’s trying desperately to use speed and more force to pull your orgasm out of you quicker. It takes a second for your body to adjust to the change but then you’re crying out for him, begging him to keep going. Your hand's can't stay still, they keep moving to touch him anywhere; his shoulders, his back, his neck, and then they finally rest on his face. Your fingers dig into his cheek and his jaw and you keep your eyes on him like you were told. 

“That’s it,” he hits the perfect spot that has you squeezing around his fingers, “just a little more baby.” Marc keeps his speed steady now, using his arm that's wrapped around you to assist in grinding your hips. Your head’s spinning now, your heart thudding in your chest and you can’t think straight. Now, you’re kissing him or at least trying to between cries of pleasure. Marc chuckles as you gasp and clutch onto his shoulders when he ceases movement of his fingers. He continues to rock your hips and instead moves his thumb faster against your clit. Your forehead is pressed against his, your eyes are screwed shut and you’re climbing higher until you’re plummeting off the edge. 

“Couldn’t miss this,” Marc’s taking advantage of your hazy state, nuzzling himself into your neck, “gods I can’t wait baby. I need you now.”

Your mind is still somewhere in the clouds, not really comprehending what he’s saying but you’re nodding. You trust him enough to let him do anything to you.

Marc’s moving eagerly, his soaked fingers slip out of you which causes a whimper to escape you. You’re pretty much a dead weight, your body feeling too heavy to move but that doesn’t stop Marc. He moves you like you weigh nothing and you let him manhandle you, flipping you over onto your back so he can be on top. 

“I love you so much, baby.” You’re smiling up at him when he says it, head still all floaty. He looks so ethereal like this, his eyes focused on his hand that’s now stroking himself. His toned chest heaving quicker now. “So lucky to have you,” his free hand pushes one of your thighs down, exposing you more to him. Normally you’d hate being this exposed, you’d want to cover up and hide yourself away but Marc looks at you like you’re it. You’re everything he’s ever wanted or needed like he would physically wither away without you.

It’s different from the way Steven looks at you, everything about Steven is gentle and soft but Marc’s more meticulous and complex. Marc’s gazes say more than he thinks he can articulate, his eyes always full of love whenever he looks at you. Only in truly intimate moments like this does he let his guard down enough to be able to share all those feelings that swim around in his head. 

“Need you, baby.” Your eyes fall shut when he drags the tip of his cock through your folds, quiet whimpers flowing past your lips as he slowly pushes himself in. Your hands loosely cling to the sheets and unconsciously you’re bearing down your hips toward him, unexpectedly forcing him deeper. Marc’s hand slams down on the mattress next to you, a curse sharply coming out of him. You open your droopy eyes to see he’s closer now, leaning over you completely with his furrowed brow and tense features. It’s hard to keep your eyes open, Marc seems to have this power to make you feel fuzzy no matter what. 

“Hey,” you’re blinking up at him the second you hear his voice, “look at me.” 

It’s not a command like the last time he said it, no, it’s more like a plea. He wants you to look at him like he’s the only person to ever exist, or that he’s the best person to exist and you do. You look at him as if it’s the last time you could lay your eyes on him, soaking up every detail and trying to portray all of the love you feel for him. 

Your hand moves up to hold his face again, the other finding purchase on his side. You raise your head just enough so you can kiss him, it’s only brief but a smile creeps across his face. Marc lowers himself to rest on his elbow so he can kiss you again, over and over while he slowly starts to rock his hips. The gentle pecks quickly turn fervent as his thrusts pick up their pace. He’s not going too fast but it’s consistent and deliberate. His free hand lovingly rubs the outside of your thigh that’s crept up to encase his hips.

You can feel the familiar tightening warmth already blooming again. The hand that was cupping his face moves into his hair. The messy curls slip through your fingers as you pull him impossibly closer. 

“I-I need-ah-I love-“ you can’t even form a coherent sentence. You want to tell him that you need him, that you love him, that he is truly all you’ll ever want. You’d planned all these things you wanted to say to him, how exactly you wanted to pour out all the good things he makes you feel. You wanted to make him feel loved, to maybe replace some of those bad memories he holds with new happy ones. You were supposed to be the one making him feel good and here you are an intelligible mess because of how well he’s treating you. 

“I know-I know, baby.” He’s breathing so hard, panting from exertion. The hand that’s resting on your thigh holds on a little firmer, a sign he’s found a rhythm that works for him. Marc kisses you again, it’s surprisingly tender for the situation you’re currently in. It is however cut off quickly when he lets up the prettiest sound. His forehead thuds against your shoulder, a mixture of moans and grunts freely falling past his lips. It drives you insane in the best way possible, you think maybe you could get off on that sound alone. 

“Hey-hey, look at me. Look at me.” You’re almost whispering, practically sounding like you’re begging. You tap your fingers against his head to grab his attention more. He’s a sight to be seen when he lifts his head, half-lidded eyes and lips parted and heaving in air. Loose curls flopped against his forehead and the crease between his eyebrows is so prominent now. You don’t care about anything other than the way he looks right now. You don’t care how many times you get to see him like this, you want to memorise every single time. 

Marc stutters on his words, his mind clearly just as muddled as yours. You can tell his body is tiring despite his hips moving faster as he chases his climax. Your body feels frozen pressed against his, you can only cling onto him. You squeak out his name as the hand on your thigh tightens, almost certain there’ll be fingerprints imprinted there for the rest of the week. 

Suddenly, he’s mumbling out the sweet nicknames he calls you, his face screwing up even as he fights to keep his eyes on you. Then it’s sweeping him under, his energy spikes and he thrusts a little harder. His orgasm washes over him completely, you catch his eyes slightly rolling back as they close before his head falls back against your shoulder again. His hips keep moving as he cums, slowing the longer he goes until he just stops moving completely. Your hand moves out of his hair to soothingly rub his back as he comes down from his high. You can feel his breath panting against your collarbone, his chest heaving still. You turn your head so you can press a kiss into his hair, whispering words of love into the dark curls. 

“I’m sorry.” Your face instantly scrunches when you hear the apology, waiting to hear the reason why. “I couldn’t miss this. I needed you so bad.” You laugh once before pausing and doing it again until you’re full-on giggling. Marc lifts his head with that same furrow of his brows for a different reason this time. “What?”

“This was for you,” his eyebrow cocks up a bit at that. His eyes just briefly glancing down at your chest, still covered in the nice-looking lingerie. Your hand slips back to hold his cheek again, your thumb rubbing back and forth lovingly as you look up at him. “I wanted to do something special for your birthday. I know it’s silly and we don’t-“

“Oh we’re doing this every year now,” Marc’s smirking at you now and the insecurity is flushed out of you, “however you’re gonna have to make it up to Steven.”

“Me?!” 

“Poor guy’s a mess, you can’t just leave him in that state sweetheart.” He laughs when you begin protesting that it’s not your fault. Marc’s chuckles die out as he looks down at you smiling up at him. Your heart thumps in your chest still when he looks at you. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together they all still have a way of making you feel giddy with just one look. You push up unexpectedly to kiss him briefly, your head falling back against the pillows so you can look at him again. 

“Happy birthday, Marc.”

[slasher-male-wife]

Slashers on Valentines day

Happy Valentines day everyone. I'm single so I don't really have anyone to celebrate with but who cares when I still get chocolate and can watch a campy slasher movie centered around the holiday. This is kind of a random selection of slashers including Danny because he's my baby girl and I saw really cute Valentines day themed fan art of him. Anyway I hope y'all enjoy <3

Includes: Hannibal Lecter, Harry Warden, Candyman, The Sinclair brothers, Amanda Young and, Danny Johnson

Warnings: Mentions of murder and gore kind of

Hannibal Lecter

He's obviously cooking for you today. You're not to step foot into the kitchen because he's taking care of all of it himself. You're getting spoiled today and that's final.

He's going to buy you something expensive that you'll love. It might be a ring or a new bag, maybe an entirely new outfit. Whatever he sees fit to give you. He doesn't expect you to get him anything but if you do he's very thankful.

He's probably taking you to the opera with him. Something high brow and fancy for his lovely s/o, nothing but the best for you on a very special day.

I can see him spending the evening drawing you too. You're probably in his study, drinking wine and doing something relaxing while he sketches you and recites love poems.

Harry Warden

He's going to be busy murdering people on Valentines day so he's not going to be able to do much of anything with you.

But he is going to bring you whatever he thinks you'll like. Flowers, chocolate, a card addressed to one of his victims, whatever he finds he's giving you.

He doesn't really enjoy having decorations up for Valentines day. Having pink and red themed decor is fine with him but explicit Valentines day decorations aren't his jam.

While he isn't there on the actual day, he's going to be there after Valentines day and that's when he's going to shower you with love and affection.

Candyman

It's going to a very romantic day overall for you. Lots of your favorite flowers around your house/apartments waiting for you when you wake up. Maybe some chocolate but probably a little honeycomb too.

He's going to steal you all of the gifts he gets you. Mostly expensive jewelry he thinks you'll like or you've pointed out to him.

Oh and he is most definitely writing you a love letter pages long, listing off every detail of why he loves you and what he would do for you.

Of course he's going to be spending the entire day with you. You're not going out but you're going to enjoy time spent with him in your house together.

Vincent Sinclair

He's going to give you whatever gifts he can make/get you for the occasion. He doesn't have access to most traditional things for Valentines day so it might just be a painting or a love letter, but he's trying ok?

He wants to spend the entire day with you. He usually spends a lot of time with you anyway but especially on this special day. He'll keep Bo away so he doesn't make stupid comments about you two, and Lester won't bother you at all.

He might want to try slow dancing with you since he's never done it before and he sees couples do it in romance movies all of the time. He might suck at it but he doesn't really care because it's with you.

He's going to end the day with a nice dinner between the two of you. He pulled out an old cook book to use for this and he did a pretty good job at cooking it too.

Lester Sinclair

He's going to get you all of the stereotypical gifts, chocolate, flowers, a card, etc. He just loves you so much and he wants to spoil you every once and awhile you know?

He's going to take you out to an actual town where the two of you can really be a couple. You're probably just going to be walking/driving around and getting dinner but it's the thought that counts.

Lots of physical affection too. Like he wants to always have a hand on you today. He thinks that he can't fully express how much he loves outside of giving you hugs, kissing you, holding your hand, etc.

He's probably taking pictures of all of this. I can see him being a sentimental person so spending a special day with you is something that he's going to want to document.

Bo Sinclair

He thinks the whole idea of the day is stupid. But that doesn't mean he isn't going to do something special with you for Valentines day. He can be a gentleman when he wants to and today is one of those days.

He'll probably get you flowers. Nothing too special, he'd ask Vincent what flowers to get if he doesn't know your favorite flowers are. I feel like Vincent could go off on a big thing about the different meanings of flowers but he knows Bo doesn't care so he'll just say roses.

I feel like he would maybe get you a ring that matches one of his. Partly to sell the idea that you're married to victims, partly because he's a possessive guy and likes the idea of you always being reminded who you're dating.

He also expects you to be romantic. He knows you can't do much because you can't leave town without him but he still expects you to do something like cook him something special or write him a love letter if you're that kind of person.

Amanda Young

She also thinks Valentines day is stupid. She's never been much of a romantic and probably has never been in a healthy romantic relationship, let alone an actual relationship.

Like Bo she's still getting you something. If you're like her she's getting you a gothic box of chocolate and maybe flowers (They do sell gothic boxes of chocolate and I'm in love with them).

She will happily go out to dinner with you. She somewhat expects you to plan it and pay for at least half of the dinner. I can see her getting dressed up if it's a more fancy restaurant and looking so pretty.

She's also going to rub it in Hoffmans face that she has a partner who loves her and that she got spoiled while he probably sat home alone doing whatever he does.

Danny Johnson

He's going to make a scrap book of all of his favorite pictures of you and share it with you. Pointing out the ones he likes the best or ones with fun stories behind them.

Because he's an obsessive little shit he knows all of your favorite things and he's going to get them for you. Expect to find your favorite flowers, candy, drink, etc on your kitchen table in the morning.

Maybe does a romantic photo shoot with you. He wants to pick out some aspects of it but will let you pick out outfits to wear. He's going to spend half the time actually taking pictures and half posing you so he has an excuse to touch you.

If you're as morbid and crazy as him then he's going to get you an actual heart. It might be human, it might be an animals heart he got at the butcher, ok it's probably a real heart that he says is an animals.

[jester089]

Hello! Today I rewatched Titanic for the hundredth time, so I had an idea: https://youtu.be/EyPpMaIBgkI?feature=shared

do you know this scene in Titanic? In any case, here it is,if you haven’t seen this movie (I highly recommend it, crying every time lmao)

So, imagine that Rose is a character (Jax, Pomni, Caine/Kinger) and Jack is the reader

the reader (their s/o) begins to abstracting , the characters understandably end up next to the reader at this moment in a hope to stop the process, but then both realize that nothing helps, and before going completely crazy, the reader begins to calm down characters (just repeat lines from this scene lol) How would the characters react? I'm really interested in Jax's reaction.

P.S. If it’s not difficult, briefly describe how the characters will behave after the death of their s/o

So sorry for my English is so bad!!! I am not speaking it, hope you having a good day/night!!🫶🫶💋

Boat movie

Thank you for the request! I apologize to any Caine or Jax fans who hate how I write them. But hey you can always just not read it, and I write em how they are. Not how we all want em. From this post on I'm going to ask you all add something to your requests. When requesting either Caine or Jax specify if you want the real ones or the softer loving ones. Thanks! Caine, Kinger, Jax, & Pomni's reactions to Reader dying/abstracting in front of them/in their hands

Caine

You definitely aren't the first. And probably wont be the last. He understands that humans for whatever reason don't want to die alone so he stays with you. He stays there sitting next to you on the floor as you progressively get more and more glitched. Sadly he doesn't catch much of what you say as his mind is mainly just ready to put you in the cellar so you don't hurt anyone. Once your abstracted and in the cellar he moves on. Sure he felt slightly closer to you then with all the others digital circus's inhabitants but he'll get past it. Nothing really changes in the long run.

Kinger

Kinger found you abstracting and was about to turn tail and run to find help but you begged him not to leave. That's how you got to where you are Kinger holding you close while you gently cup his face. He listened to every word you said about how he was gonna get out of there and live his life. Have kids and die safe in his home surrounded by loved ones. He permanently searing every word into his brain. As you lean up to give him one last kiss before you fall off the deep end and abstract forcing Kinger to let go of you. He is crazy yes, but he's tough. And losing you makes him want to give up. But he'll get out of this place and live his life. If not for himself, for you.

Jax

Jax was sitting with you as you abstracted. He was just going to leave and do something else, but your pitiful glitchy voice got him to stay. He sits there staring at you as you progressively get worse not even listening to what your saying, his mind wandering to what he would rather be doing. Once you fully abstract he gets up and sprints away so he doesn't get hurt then leaves you alone to rampage about. Not his problem. Hey if someone else dies to you maybe their death will be funnier then yours.

Pomni

Pomni stayed with you. Despite every bit of code in her being telling to run and get Caine she knew she wouldn't be able to in time. So she stayed and held you gently using everything she had in her to not show how she felt. So you could have someone, have her there with you when you went. She listened to your final words and did her best to remember the feeling of you gently kissing her. Once you were gone she went straight to her room to be alone, and to write something down. In a journal Ragatha gave Pomni to try and help with stress she writes down you. You personality, your final words. And she draws you, draws you how you are (were). She isn't going to forget you. She will get out of this place. And if, no WHEN she does she's going to give you a proper burial. She doesn't have your body but she isn't just going to be the last thing she remembers of you, you or a version of you trying to kill her. (I'm feeling a little burnt out on angst asks. But I did enjoy writing this.)

xoxo, Jester

[imgeekgirlfan]

Down The Road (F1 x Reader) SMAU Season 1

>> Down The Road 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

➡  Previous Part : Next Part

Taglist: @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @laura-naruto-fan1998 , @jpg3 , @tsukishimawhore , @minkyungseokie , @roseseraj , @bbhyuneee , @omgsuperstarg (If you want to be added in this fic, just tell me in reply )

A/N : I'm trying to write in time for the #QatarGP because I want the storyline in Part 2 to continue in real-time (spoiler alert: from Episode 3 onwards, there will be a one-year time skip). I hope you enjoy the racing and the fic too. If you do, don't forget to like and reblog. It's great encouragement for me, who has been sitting with a sore back at the computer for hours to write this SMAU fic

note ; age-gap, a bit of mentor/student relationship

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Season 1 : ── 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐬 ── (Lewis Hamilton x Reader) S1 : E02 𝐾-𝑝𝑜𝑝 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟

Beyond the thrilling competition on the F1 track, the off-track relationships of F1 drivers have also become an exciting topic for fans. That's precisely what's happening with Y/N, a rising star in motorsport, whose relationship with Lewis Hamilton, a seven-time World Champion, is being closely watched. Is it real, or is it just a theory from fans? It's a tough question to answer definitively, as only they can shed light on the situation.

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Source : GQ Sports (On YouTube)

On this episode of "Actually Me" Formula 1 driver Y/N goes undercover on the internet and responds to real comments from fans on Twitter, Instagram, Wikipedia, Reddit, YouTube, and TikTok. How does it feel to be the only woman racing in Formula 1 today? How does she handle the pressure of competing in a male-dominated sport? Which driver is she closest to? And the most pressing question everyone wants to know : What is the true nature of her relationship with Lewis Hamilton? Are they friends, colleagues, competitors, or something more?

For this final question, she simply laughs and replies cryptically, “You guys should ask him (rather than asking me), because I’m curious too.”

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Source : Formula 1: Drive to Survive (On Netflix)

In the show “Formula 1: Drive to Survive” Lewis Hamilton finally opens up about his relationship with Y/N for the first time after it became a hot topic on Twitter world recently. Hamilton said “It’s hard to explain, but we have a very special bond because we’ve known each other for a long time,” He further defined her as the ‘special one’ in his life, yet he still remained enigmatic regarding whether their relationship contains romantic aspect or not.

Additionally, he delves into their personal closeness, mentioning that Y/N is very much a Gen Z personified, enjoying Twitter and often sending funny memes to everyone. He humorously reveals that she sometimes replies to him "OK Boomer," when he doesn't quite grasp the memes she sends.

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Source : Lewis Hamilton's Instagram Story (update)

Lewis Hamilton posted a picture of himself wearing friendship bracelets and tagging @Y/N on Instagram Story before deleting it 11 minutes after

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Source : Twitter (update)

Rumors about a romantic relationship between Y/N and Lewis Hamilton started circulating after a Twitter exchange between the two, leading fans to speculate and gather evidence suggesting they might be dating.

This wave of speculation has received both positive and negative reactions from fans. Some fans disagree with the dating rumors, while others support them. drawing parallels to the F1 version of Tom Holland and Zendaya

While the rumors have been hot topics among F1 fans on Twitter, there has been no confirmation from either Y/N or Hamilton.

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Source : Y/N’s instagram (update)

"Get in, loser We're going to do hotlap"

Y/N posted on Instagram that she will be doing a hot lap for the team's VIP guest in #QatarGP There's speculation that the guest might be a fellow racing driver like Alex, Albon, or George Russell, especially after she previously did a hot lap with Russell without any sign of Lewis Hamilton

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Source : Lewis Hamilton's instagram (update)

"Ready to go with the winner @Y/N"

Lewis Hamilton posted on Instagram, confirming that he is the VIP guest who will get a hot lap with Y/N. Followed by a massive response from fellow F1 drivers and fans who are closely watching their relationship.

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Source : Y/N and Lewis Hamilton's instagram (update)

Y/N and Lewis Hamilton have arrived at the Lusail International Circuit to prepare for the #QatarGP race tonight. The media has been informed by their respective teams that there will be no interviews or comments regarding the rumors about them. They will solely focus on their performance in this race.

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Source : @PopBase

Reportedly the famous spanish singer Úrsula attended the Formula 1 race at #QatarGP amidst fresh rumors among fans that she might be rekindling her relationship with Y/N. This comes after her recent divorce from the Hollywood actor last month.

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𝙏𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙚𝙙 (in the next chapter)

If you like it, don't forget to like and reblog for me.

Cr.https://x.com/PopBase/status/1708629114025116047?s=20https://twitter.com/GridRivalhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b025AznQiGk&ab_channel=GQSportshttps://www.instagram.com/p/CyBimW-Ocyr/

[beginningofwonderland]

Caffeine Addiction - Yunho

Pairing: YunhoxfemReader

Genre: smut, some fluff, comfort (MINORS DNI!)

Word count: 6.1k

Summary: You‘ve had a terrible day so you seek comfort at your favourite coffee shop and with your favourite barista. What you didn't expect was ending up beneath him shortly after.

(Pls I'm obsessed with coffee shop settings. Also I aimed for smut and this was way more comfort than planned lol. I'm getting soft.)

Warnings: slight size kink (I can't write Yunho without this I'm sorry), manhandling, fingering, unprotected sex and no discussion of protection (pls don't bang your local barista without protection), creampie

@underworldnet 👍🏻

The shop door swung open with the ding of a small bell. It rang like music in your ears. You visited the small coffee shop every morning before work to grab some coffee and you often came back for a piece of pastry in the afternoon.

The place was close to your office and therefore convenient. But even more than that, the small store had just really grown on you. The decor was lovely: an array of different pieces of furniture that all had a vintage vibe and magically matched each other. There were always fresh flowers on the tables and a large bookshelf decorated the back of the store.

Only adding to the shops charm was the staff. The place was owned by a very old lady, that was the cutest person you had ever met. She always gave you an extra big slice of your favourite cake and often packed you some pieces for free when you came before the store closed. But because of her growing age she started working less and less.

Instead her grandson covered more and more shifts at the cafe. They had a few part timers, but Yunho basically ran the store 24/7. He definitely came after his grandmother in terms of character. Just like always, when you entered today, he greeted you with a bright smile.

"Hello y/n! I'll get you your usual."

It had only taken him one week to ask for your name and never forget your favourite order ever again.

"Hello Yunho. Thank you!" You smiled back at him and already searched for your purse while he prepared your large americano. When he handed you the paper cup, it had a cute little puppy drawn onto it.

You smiled even brighter when you saw it. "You know I really wanted to get a reusable cup with the amount of coffee I drink, but then I wouldn't be able to get your little drawings anymore," you told him sulkingly.

He rested his elbows on the counter and looked at you with a playful grin. "We both know I can't let you go to work without seeing you smile over my drawings, angel."

A small blush crept up your cheeks at the nickname. Yunho was a huge flirt whenever you came to the store. At first you had thought that that was only his natural personality, but you've seen other people order often enough to know he only treated you this way. Maybe it drew you into the café even more than your caffeine addiction.

"I wouldn't want it any other way," you replied with a cheeky grin, carefully throwing your hair over your shoulder before handing Yunho the money for the drink.

"Have a great day at work and don't work overtime again," he said with a worrying undertone.

"I'll try not to," you responded, but you already knew you were lying. You always had to work overtime. "But you know how my boss is like..."

Visiting the cafe after work regularly, Yunho basically knew everything about your job at the media company: Your boss was a nightmare and the pay wasn't nearly enough for the amount of work you did. But you were too afraid to apply for something else. Too caught up in your messy routine.

"Take care of you, angel!" He insisted before you told him goodbye and left the store with the biggest smile on your face and a tingling feeling in your stomach.

────────────

When you returned to the shop in the evening, your mood was exactly the opposite of what it had been in the morning. It had started to rain and the water mixed with the tears that streamed down your face and smudged your mascara. Your neat dress was already clinging to your figure from the moisture.

You pushed open the door praying that no other costumers would be inside. The store would be closing in five minutes anyway. The familiar "ding" welcomed you but it didn't help to lift your spirit.

"Please, tell me you're still open," you said to Yunho who looked at you in shock. Your voice was weak and on the verge of breaking. Hearing how pathetic you sounded you already regretted your decision of going to the café.

Yunho put down a plate that he had just been holding and walked past the counter to greet you in worry.

"What happened to you, darling?" He wanted to take you into his arms so badly but he didn't want to cross any boundaries. So his hand went out to pat your shoulder compassionately.

"I had a terrible day," you sobbed out as you met his puppy eyes. "And I could really need a slice of that lemon pie right now..." you added in a sulking tone.

A small smile appeared on Yunho's face at the mention of your favourite treat. "You need to dry first. Sit down, angel. I'll get you a jacket."

Unable to disagree, you slumped down on one of the little sofas in the cafe as you watched Yunho go to the back of the store. When he returned he carried a big sweater jacket with him that he draped across your shoulders. Judging by the size and the smell of it, it was probably his own.

"Wait a second," he muttered gently and continued to dim the bright lights in the store and change the sign from "open" to "close". You felt terrible as you noticed how it was already time to close the shop.

"I'm so sorry, Yunho. I really only wanted to grab a piece of cake and head out again. I don't want you working any longer."

You started getting up from the sofa but he gently pushed you back down into your seat.

"Don't worry about me. I always have to stay longer to clean up anyways and I'm not letting you go outside like that." He seemed firm in his words and you felt warmed by his care.

"Do I look that bad?" you asked sadly.

Yunho almost seemed offended by your question. "You look gorgeous as always, angel. But you're literally shivering. I can't let you head out into the rain freezing like that."

You looked outside to hide your reddened cheeks. He was right. The rain had increased since you entered the store and you didn't bring a jacket or an umbrella to work with you.

"I should've checked the weather forecast," you sighed more to yourself.

You turned back around as you heard Yunho shuffle behind the counter. He was working on some kind of drink while also getting a big slice of lemon pie ready for you. You watched his skilled hands as they manoeuvred around the kitchen so naturally. You always thought he looked incredibly handsome like that: His face all concentrated as he moved between his equipment so smoothly.

When he came back and sat down next to you on the sofa, he put the cake and a mug before you. The beverage was decorated with cream and a heart made from sprinkled cinnamon. The cute gesture almost made you want to cry again.

"What is this?" you asked nodding towards the cup.

"Hot cocoa," he answered. "You shouldn't have more caffeine this late and chocolate makes you happy," he added with a bright smile that had you melting just like the hot treat.

"Thank you," you said gravely. "I really mean it."

"No worries, angel. Now tell me what happened to you."

And you went on to tell him about your terrible day while devouring your piece of cake. You had done this before; ranting about your work after a long day. And he was always there to listen to you and comfort you.

You told him how someone had bumped into you after your visit to the cafe and spilled coffee on your dress. How your boss made you work overtime again. And how finally, said boss yelled at you, because she didn't like your draft for a marketing proposal.

"And then it got too much for me and I got up from my chair and told her I'm quitting," you finally explained. "And then I came here in the rain because I needed some comfort."

The memory brought the tears back to your eyes. "I'm so stupid. I need that job, I can't just quit," you complained to yourself and grabbed a napkin to wipe away the tears that started spilling again.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Yunho replied warmly. When you looked up at him with tears still glimmering in your eyes and a sliver of hope at his words, he couldn't hold back any longer. He carefully laid his arm around your shoulder and pulled you to his chest.

He did it slowly, giving you time to back out and watching your reaction. But when you buried your face in his apron and wrapped your arms around his torso, he knew this was exactly what you needed.

After lingering in his embrace for a few seconds you backed off again, slightly embarrassed. But his arm stayed on your shoulders spending you a comfortable warmth.

"Sorry," you excused yourself while looking to the ground." But it just hit me that I won't be able to come into the cafe every morning if I work somewhere else."

Yunho's heart skipped a beat as you said that. You coming in every morning made his every day. At first he was hesitant to take over his grandma’s shop but after meeting you, he couldn't wait for his shifts to start and seeing you smile over his drawings on your coffee cup.

"Don't say that, angel. You'll find something close. And if you don't, I'll make you work here."

You laughed at his suggestion and took a sip of your hot chocolate. It was rich and smooth and easily the best hot chocolate you had ever tasted. When you sat the cup back down Yunho looked at you with an amused grin.

"What?" you asked in confusion.

"You have some cream on your lip." He gestured to his own to show you the spot. When you wiped your finger over it hastily he grinned even brighter.

"You only smudged it, dummy. Let me help you."

He reached his large hand out and you couldn’t help but let him wipe away the smudge of cream from your upper lip. As soon as his thumb touched your skin a shiver ran through your body. You suddenly noticed how close the two of you were with his arm still around you and it made you want to get rid of his jacket because of the heat that rose inside of you.

He kept the eye contact with you as he retreated his finger and slowly licked the cream of his thumb with that mind-numbingly handsome smirk. You had to keep your eyes from rolling back into your skull at the sight, instead having your lashes flutter.

You always knew Yunho had a lasting effect on you but right now you were almost overwhelmed by how intense he made you feel.

"I should head back home," you mumbled quickly, wanting to escape before you did something stupid. Your temperament was already unpredictable today.

A small flicker of disappointment rushed over Yunho's face before he smiled at you again. "It's still pouring outside. You can't go all the way home like that."

He knew you lived far enough away that you had to take the bus and walk for a while to reach your apartment. You looked outside again and realised he was once again right. You sighed.

"I can't keep you in the store for forever though," you said apologizingly.

"No, but you could come home with me." You looked at him in surprise. "Until the rain stops of course. I live close," he added shyly while scratching the back of his neck.

You smiled to yourself. Was the Jeong Yunho getting shy after shamelessly flirting with you every single day you came in here?

You wanted to go with him. You had liked him for as long as he worked there and you talked to him every day. And with your day already being all over the place you decided to be brave once more and do what you actually wanted to do. Just like quitting your terrible job, you made your move on the handsome barista.

"I'd like that." You accompanied your answer with a flirty smile and you could swear that you saw Yunho visibly swallowing.

"Okay, let me just put everything away real quick."

He almost jumped out of his chair, grabbing your plate and now empty cup before going back behind the counter. You had never seen him that rushed before, usually he was always relaxed.

After only a few minutes he seemed to have finished every task he needed to do and looked at you in half disbelief.

"I'll get us an umbrella."

You heard some rummaging in the back room and finally Yunho emerged with an umbrella. "You ready?" he asked with a shy smile.

"Sure," you answered your heart beating out of your chest. You couldn't believe your were going home with him. A bubbling excitement ran through you as you looked at him.

Yunho walked out of the store first to open the umbrella and let you walk under it as soon as you stepped outside. He closed the door behind you and locked it with a huge set of keys. Because the umbrella was rather small, his tall figure was standing close to you, his chest facing you when he finished locking the cafe up.

Like the gentleman he was he offered you his arm and you weaved yours around it with a blush on your face. His other hand was holding the umbrella and you had the suspicion, that he was only shielding you from the rain with it , as you watched the border of his shirt slowly soak.

"You know you're supposed to use that to save yourself from getting wet?" you teased him while nodding at the umbrella.

"Don't worry about me, darling. It's not far and my priority is getting you there dry."

You still shifted a little closer to him, so that the umbrella would automatically cover him a little more.

It felt nice to walk beside him. His strong arm guiding you and his presence making you feel safe. Usually you always worried walking alone in the evening, but around the tall male you could enjoy the fresh night air. You wondered how you would look to someone watching you from afar; probably like a couple walking home together. The thought stirred up butterflies in the pit of your stomach.

"Right here," Yunho suddenly announced and stopped in front of an apartment building. He opened the door quickly and released your arm, letting you enter the dry entry hall before him. He closed the umbrella and followed you inside.

"There's an elevator but it got stuck twice this year so I'd recommend the stairs."

"I don't mind," you answered, even though your feet were hurting from the heels you wore.

He led you up two staircase and down the hallway before entering his apartment. After he flicked on the lights you could see that the entryway led directly into his open living room. You removed your heels at the door and couldn't suppress a sigh as your feet were finally freed. Yunho noticed your exhausted expression and looked at you with compassion.

"Make yourself comfortable on the couch, okay? I'll just get rid of my apron and then I'll join you."

You hadn't even noticed that he was still wearing his work uniform. You nodded at him and sat yourself down at the couch. You let your eyes wander around the room curiously. He had very neat and modern furniture, almost the exact opposite of how the coffee shop looked like. Still it felt warm inside and inviting. Maybe it was just his personal aura.

As you looked outside you noticed that the rain was still pouring and it didn't look like it would end soon. You were basically stuck at his place. Listening to the steady sound of the raindrops hitting the window you found yourself thinking about your terrible day once again.

You couldn't believe that you had quit your job so carelessly. Burying your face in your hands, you took a deep breath to calm the panic rising inside of you.

"Are you ok?" Yunho asked softly. You hadn't noticed him coming back. He had changed into a casual grey tshirt that was accentuating his broad frame.

"Yeah, sure." But he saw right through your lies.

"Then why do you look like you're about to cry again?" He asked sadly. "Please, don't cry again. I can't watch your beautiful face stained with tears."

You were shocked by the intensity of his words and watched him as he sat down beside you.

"Why do you care so much about me, Yunho? You didn't have to do any of this for me." You gestured to the room around you, hinting at him taking you home to protect you from the rain. "I'm just a stupid girl that has an addiction to coffee and visits your store everyday."

You swallowed a lump at your own harsh words. When his eyes turned sad you couldn't bear to look at him any longer and turn your head to the side. But Yunho slid closer to you on the couch and gently turned your head back around by your chin. His fingers still resting there he said:

"Listen to me: You're not stupid. And I do this because I care about you. We talk every day. Every morning and sometimes even in the afternoon for the past what? Like 6 months. I like you Y/n and I know you don't come to the coffee shop just because of the caffeine either."

There it was again. That handsome, flirty smirk that always adorned him around you. It quickened your heartbeat in an instant and made you smile in return. A sudden surge of heat ran through your stomach as you processed his words.

"Then what do I come there for?" you challenged him with raised brows.

"The most handsome barista in the city," he answered cockily and you couldn't help but giggle.

"You might be on to something..." you replied holding the eye contact with him now.

Yunho's gaze flicked down to your lips before focussing on your eyes once again. His fingers still grasping your chin.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked in a husky tone and your eyes fluttered shut for a second.

"Please do," you replied eagerly.

His hand wandered from your chin to gently cup your cheek and he pulled you closer to him. You saw a smirk tugging on his lips just moments before your lips met.

Yunho's lips were so incredibly soft and warm. Kissing him felt like being comforted on a cold day which was exactly what he was doing. His other hand moved into your hair, gently stroking you as he deepened the kiss.

You leaned into his touch and brought your hand up to rest on his chest. Your head was already spinning. You had your fair share of kisses before but this one felt different. It was so intense and comforting yet still exciting. Adrenaline rushed through your body as his tongue entered your mouth and a small groan left you.

The sound made Yunho's fingers twitch and he let his tongue play with your mouth, occasionally sucking on your bottom lip. You wanted to be closer to him but the awkward position of you two sitting next to each other didn't allow you that. You shifted your weight and put one leg over Yunho's lap, straddling him without breaking the kiss.

Now it was a Yunho who released a groan. "I've been wanting to do this for months, baby," he mumbled in between kisses.

The petname and the deep tone of his voice made you shiver. You were used to him calling you sweet things but he's never called you baby before. "Me too," you replied hastily, the kiss turning messy in between your muttered words.

On of his arms snaked around your waist and drew circles through the fabric of your dress. With the sudden heat rising in you, you quickly shuffled off Yunho's jacket that you were still wearing before burying your hands in his dark hair. As you tucked on his strands lightly, he moaned into the kiss.

"You drive me so crazy, baby." His mouth wandered from your lips to your neck and you let your head fall back to give him more access. "Looking so pretty every morning when you come into the shop."

His sweet words made you giggle and warmed you from the inside out. "You should have made a move on me earlier then," you teased him. He retreated from your neck and looked at you with dark eyes, breathing heavily.

"Yeah, I should've bend you over the counter in one of your pretty little skirts when noone was watching. Would've woken you up better than coffee anyway."

You moan at his dirty words and if you were standing right now, your knees would've given out underneath you.

"Make me yours, Yunho."

His lips attacked yours in a feverish kiss as his hands grabbed your thighs. He stood up from the couch, carrying you in a tight embrace towards what you suspected was his bedroom. He kicked open the door harshly and you could hear it thumb against the wall behind. But when he laid you onto his bed he was the exact opposite; gently lowering onto the soft mattress so that you wouldn't get hurt.

You pulled him on top of you by the collar of his shirt and he propped up his hands next to your head to not crush you. The way he hovered above you made you realize just how much taller he was. His broad frame took in all of your viewspace.

"I could get used to having you underneath me like this," he said, taking in the way your hair spread around you and the bottom of your dress riding up your thighs.

"Treat me well and you can have me like this everyday," you replied, eyes looking up at him through your lashes.

He groaned before crushing his lips onto yours. "I'll make you never want to leave," he growled into the kiss.

This time he was a little bit more harsh with you. His lips pressed your head into the mattress and his hand reached out to grab your waist, tugging your body closer to him and making your back arch.

You loved how he could move your body so easily. Your hands wandered from his broad chest to his arms as you explored this way his muscles flexed when he held you. Yunho was breathtaking. From his handsome face to his strong build and his big hands. Everything about him captured your attention.

When his hand wandered down to your thigh you couldn’t help but moan as his slender fingers massaged your skin. His hand was so large that it covered your entire thigh and the feeling made you even weaker beneath him. You have never wanted someone that much in your entire life.

You tugged on his shirt as Yunho deepened the kiss and he chuckled. "Wanna see more of me, baby? Should I take it off?" He looked at you through dark eyes and you nodded shyly. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head in a swift motion.

You knew he was fit. So much was evident through the tight shirts and even the apron he usually wore at work. But now that you saw all of his muscles dancing beneath his skin you felt tiny in his embrace.

"You look so fucking hot," you breathed out and for a second his dark gaze was replaced by a shy giggle.

"Can I see you too, beautiful?" he asked gently, his hand running over the hem of your dress.

"You can see all of me that you want," you replied in a seductive tone as you sit up and turn your back to him. The zipper of your dress sat on the back and you hoped he would get the hint.

His fingers wander up your back before grasping onto the zipper. When he pulled it down slowly shivers ran down your skin. He didn't make them stop when he slid his hands under the dress and slowly slipped the sleeves of your arms while littering wet kisses along your neck.

The dress now pooling at your hips you laid back into his strong figure and breathed heavily as his fingers ghosted over your skin. They halted right beneath your lace bra and you urged Yunho to go on.

"Please touch me, Yunho. I need you so much."

He groaned into your neck as his hands cupped your breasts over the bra. It didn’t take long before he opened the clasp of your bra as well, exposing your top half completely.

"You feel even better than I imagined," he breathed into your ears huskily as his fingers grazed over your hardened nipples. The touch made you clench around nothing and drew a small moan from you. You turned your head to the side so that he could kiss you while caressing your breasts. The way he hovered above you made heat pool between your legs and you grabbed his face hungrily.

Finally, Yunho turned you around again, laying you back on the bed and pulling the dress down your legs. His eyes were glazed over as he looked at you, admiring your almost completely naked form.

His hand slid between your thighs, rubbing you over the thin material of your panties. You sucked in a harsh breath and shifted your hips to press yourself onto his fingers.

"You're already soaking through your panties," Yunho assessed with a satisfied grin. "I still need to prep you though. You look way too tiny to just take me like this."

He shoved your panties to the side and let two of his long fingers slide into you. The feeling was heavenly. He reached places inside of you that you didn't even know existed and it only took him a few seconds to find that spot that made your hips buckle beneath him.

"Right there, Yunnie," you moaned beneath him.

"Yunnie?" he chuckled. "I put my fingers into you for two seconds and you're already calling me nicknames."

You loved that sassy side of him, he was teasing you but not too much. His fingers increased their pace and a tight feeling of pleasure build up in your lower stomach.

"That's a good girl, now take just one more." A third finger entered you but the praise overshadowed any discomfort you might have felt. You were already a whining, moaning mess beneath him and he was only starting.

"That's it, tiny," he growled and hovered closer to your face to watch your facial expressions. "You feeling good?"

"Fuck, yes," was all you could blurt out while you neared your orgasm, his fingers made you putty in his hands, hitting all the right spots.

Right before you felt like you might burst, he pulled them out of you. You whined at the loss of contact and stared at him through pleading eyes.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll make you come on something even better." You could only watch him through hazy eyes as he finally got rid of his jeans and boxers, revealing his hardened cock. He was clearly the biggest you've ever had and you couldn't wait for him to fuck you stupid on his damn big cock.

He gently tucked your panties down your legs and hovered above you.

"Ready for me, baby?"

"Yes," you answered and grabbed onto his arms when he started pushing himself into you. He stretched you out quite a bit but his fingers had worked you up enough for it not to hurt. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he finally bottomed out inside of you and hit your sweet spot with the tip of his cock.

He groaned as he started thrusting himself into you at a slow pace. "God damn, you're so tight for me baby."

His thrusts slowly sped up and you started arching your back to give him an even deeper angle. The change had Yunho shivering above you and he quickly grabbed one of your legs to pull it above his shoulder and pound into you even deeper.

At this point the room was starting to fill with the sounds of his skin slapping onto yours and your heavy breaths mixing with irrepressible moans. You couldn't do anything but stare into his darkened eyes as he fucked you closer and closer to your orgasm. When one of his pretty hands started drawing circles onto your clit your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

"Like that, baby?"

"Please, Yunho, pleas..." You couldn't even answer his question. Only begs left your mouth as you felt your high approaching.

"Come for me, beautiful. You look so pretty all fucked out on my cock."

His words finally threw you over the edge. Goosebumps littered your skin as you held onto his arms and felt the overwhelming pleasure of your orgasm washing over you. He fucked you through it slowly, admiring how your face reacted to the feeling.

When you seemed to recover Yunho pulled out of you and gently rolled you onto your side. He then slipped behind you and entered you again from behind. This angle was even deeper than before and you moaned shamelessly as he started fucking you like this; his lips buried into your neck and his hands holding on to your hips.

When one of his hands wandered onto your stomach you heard a deep groan from Yunho.

"I can feel myself through your tummy, tiny." You blinked at his words, absolutely perplexed until you looked down and could watch Yunho quite literally fucking you to the point that your lower stomach bulged out. The sight drew the most desperate whine from you and Yunho picked up the tempo once more.

"You like being that small next to me? Want to come on my big cock again?"

"Fuck yes, Yunnie."

He buried his head in your neck while fucking you even deeper. His heavy breaths so close to your ear had you going insane and you knew you wouldn't last much longer.

"Please, make me come," you whined as you arched your back to press yourself even closer to him.

With the way his grip on your hips tightened, you were sure he was close to coming as well. He still managed to release one of his hands and let it massage your clit again, determined to draw another orgasm from you.

"Tell me where I should come first," Yunho growled into your ear and the strained tone of his voice sent you flying towards your release already.

"Come inside of me, Yunnie. Please! Just make me yours."

You felt him twitch at your words as he continued to work his fingers on your sweet spot.

"Then come for me pretty thing and I'll fill you up nicely."

That was your last straw. Your orgasm crashed over you and your ears started ringing from the overwhelming pressure. You grinded down onto Yunho's hips to ride out your high as high pitched moans kept tumbling out of your mouth. Your motions tipped Yunho over the edge as well and he clutched onto your hips as his cock started to twitch, releasing ropes of warm cum deep inside of you.

The feeling of it filling you up made you want to drool. You never wanted him to move again. You wanted to stay in his arms like this forever. Like his.

Still he slowly released you after a while of the two of you just catching your breath.

"I'll get something to clean you up, baby," he announced as he slipped out of you. You felt cold as soon as he was gone. But Yunho didn't let you wait long before he returned with a wet cloth, cleaning you up carefully while littering kisses on your dampened skin in between. When he was done he cradled you into his arms, your head lying comfortably on his broad chest.

"I promise I wanted to ask you out on a date first but I guess we skipped a few steps."

You chuckled in response. "I don't mind at all. You were fucking amazing. I'd still take that date though."

He kissed the top of your head as his hands stroked your back softly. "So you meant that part about me making you mine?"

You lifted your head to look into his warm eyes. "I did."

You fell asleep like that, curled up in his arms, listening to the sound of the rain that had brought you two together in the first place.

────────────

When you woke up the next morning, Yunho was gone. But there was a note next to you on the bed:

I didn't want to wake you, but I had to open the shop. Please come by when you're awake!!!

It was signed with one of his little puppy drawings and your heart fluttered at the sight. You hurried to get yourself ready before heading out to the cafe.

Today, the weather was on your side. The rain had stopped and a warm breeze was blowing through the streets as you made your way to the shop with light steps.

The doorbell rang like music in your ears as you entered the cafe. The first thing you saw was Yunho. His bright smile beamed at you from behind the cash register, lighting up the entire room like sunshine. It was like all the other people inside blurred into the background.

He mumbled something to his coworker that helped in the morning shifts before walking around the counter towards you. You didn't even realize you were smiling like an idiot as well until he swept you up into a warm hug and pressed his lips onto yours.

You soaked yourself in this moment, his soft lips on yours and his warmth healing you from the inside out.

„Did you sleep well, angel?" he asked you warmly, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. In this moment you really questioned yourself for not noticing earlier that he had a thing for you. He looked so utterly and wholehearted in love that there was no way not to notice.

„I slept perfectly. Except for you not being there."

„I'm sorry. I had to open the shop," he excused himself.

„I know, don't worry."

You looked at him admiringly for a few seconds.

„I have something for you," Yunho suddenly announced and his took your hand to drag you towards the counter.

„You want a coffee, right?" he asked and you were surprised about the question.

„Why else would I be here," you joked and he gave you a pout as he worked on the coffee machine. You wondered what he wanted to show you.

When he finished the coffee and brought it to you you noticed it was not your usual paper cup or one of the shops porcelain cups. It was a clean white reusable to-go cup. Just like you had wanted to get for months. Your heart warmed as you realized he must have gotten this for you a while ago already. But there was one flaw about it.

„But what about your drawings?" you asked afraid that you'll never get his cute little messages on your morning coffee ever again.

„It's a whiteboard cup," he explained with a proud smile. „You can write on it with an erasable marker. Turn it around!"

You turn the cup on the counter until you can see his neat handwriting.

I love you.

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ──────

Pleaaaseeee feel free to leave me comments or write in my asks I love to hear your thoughts!!! :)

[nights-at-crystarium]

on authenticity

My mood in the recent months keeps going from bad to worse. Today I randomly fell into the rabbit hole of checking out other patreon artists, which always grounds me in reality and cheers me up, perhaps in a weird way. Essay incoming \o/

Authenticity is a blob of a word that sounds almost pretentious nowadays. It gets sneered at. You either sell your soul, or you don't earn with your art.

What's authentic, being true to yourself, will vary from person to person. It's like a sliding scale of suffering that you will tolerate in exchange for a coin, while convincing yourself that you have fun.

The harsh truth of modern world is that if your art pays for your living, you've already reached success, no matter how you may feel about the type of content you actually make for that money. Insert the meme furry nsfw art here. Or not furry. Or even sfw, but comms, lots of comms every month. Or merch. Anything that sells. Products first, art second.

Marrying passion and profession is virtually impossible, yet I'm doing it, only thanks to your support. I'm acutely aware that, even as I choose to be "real" and talk about an artist's money-making in a raw way, it's still patreon talk, and yes, I'll plug the link as well, so technically this entire post is an ad *fingerguns*

I just feel so privileged being able to create whatever the fuck I want, literally, I take no comms/requests/guidance on what and how should I draw/write, I post experimental, sometimes provocative stuff, and still make enough to survive. This sole fact should get me through the day, whatever other struggles I may be facing currently (I am. I don't wanna talk about it rn, instead I distract myself with this text), I should always remember the unique place in life I managed to carve for myself.

There are madmen (gender-neutral) who toss $10-20 at me every month. The majority "only" pledges $1, the notorious tier that gets treated as a tip jar with no rewards by many other creators. All of my rewards are the same at $1 and $20 (save for the one-time digital artbook download at $10, just to be perfectly clear), it's a conscious choice and a risk I continue taking because it's how I am. I used to split rewards between tiers in the past, before xiv, and it was a lot of busy work while it made me treat my art less as art and more as product. This pic goes into the cheap box, this pic goes into the expensive box. Every month. It's. Definitely not for every artist.

Logistic hell of splitting and delivering rewards, different posts with less comments per post, also my discord roles/channels would have to be split, nowadays it's just patron, whether you give me $1 or $20, there's no visual disparity, you're hanging out in the same cool kids' club, and collectively making happy noises on Fragments Fridays.

Could I be making more money if I got rid of the $1 tier? Yeah. But, mercifully, after 2 years I don't need to. I legit make enough currently, my only worry is to keep what I have. Patrons don't stay forever, 2-5 people would leave every month, about the same number would join (hence my patreon ads, I need to keep people reminded of it, even if it makes me feel guilty every damn time). I did Research (tm) in the past to find out that my "bleeding" numbers are below average, i.e. it's good, people generally tend to stick around.

I put a lot of emphasis on the $1 because I'm kinda proud of what I managed to accomplish while staying self-detrimentally humble. Literally doing an impossible thing in a world that keeps burning down. So yeah if you've been feeling bad for only giving me $1, what matters is that there's enough $1s to make a difference. Together you're creating a phenomenon, and you should be proud.

There are many stupid little principles, hills that I'll die on, that make up my authenticity. I chose to speak of it here and now in order to sorta sell myself, so it feels hypocritical x'D But if I don't shine a spotlight on this, who will. I'm old and jaded and increasingly terrified of how insincere the internet's becoming. Everything's fake, sugarcoated, polished for sale. My art's always been a scream of defiance against all that, now that I'm more or less established, I wanna scream louder. Thanks for hearing my screams. You can scream with me too if you want.