July 2015
Old photos from a summer evening🌌 A pleasant find when tidying up files and folders🍀 A lot of pleasant memories, including graduation and admission to university, in general, the year was bright, kind and full of changes 🥰
Старые фотографии с летним вечером🌌 Приятная находка при наведении порядка в файлах и папках🍀 Множество приятных воспоминаний, включая выпускной и поступление в университет, в общем, год был яркий, добрый и насыщенный переменами 🥰
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“As a child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know.”
Carl Gustav Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections
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#30daysmusicchallenge2024 for Daughters of Darkness!
Day 21: The 1st song you listen from a band:
Evanescence: Bring Me To Life
It was early morning in 2003, foggy and lonely, and I was out and listened to radio and this song started... I loved it. Instant, huge first love. WHO IS THIS? I absolutely needed to know. Who has this angelic vocal? Where can I find more? The radio host said it was Ivanesense 😃 and then I found out she has blue eyes and dark hair - just like me. I was lost. I wanted to know everything. Too bad that I barely knew any English back then. My research began.
(text by rionka)
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Some books stay in your bones long after their titles and details have slipped from memory.
— ia Genberg, The Details: A Novel (translated by Kira Josefsson) (HarperVia, August 8, 2023)
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Trạng thái tốt nhất
Khi bạn có vóc dáng đẹp, khí chất tốt, có học thức và trải nghiệm, kinh tế độc lập, không thiếu tiền, bạn sẽ ngay lập tức hiểu rằng—làm gì có thời gian để lo được mất, làm gì có thời gian để đoán ý người khác, làm gì có thời gian để tiếc nuối quá khứ. Tất cả thời gian của bạn đều dành cho việc nâng cao và đầu tư vào bản thân.
Trạng thái tốt nhất của một cô gái chính là: đôi mắt chất chứa đầy câu chuyện, nhưng trên gương mặt lại không thấy dấu vết của phong sương. Mỗi ngày đều giữ cho bản thân sạch sẽ, xinh đẹp, trang điểm nhẹ nhàng, mặc lên những bộ quần áo mình yêu thích. Không ghen tị với bất kỳ ai, cũng không dựa dẫm vào ai. Chỉ cần tập trung tiến về phía xa mà mình muốn đến, lặng lẽ nỗ lực, nuốt trọn mọi khổ đau và ấm ức để nuôi lớn tầm nhìn của bản thân. Cuối cùng, chắc chắn sẽ sống theo đúng cách mà mình mong muốn.
Vạn Phương dịch
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One time, as a freshman, I met with my professor for his office hours and asked him if my MLA citations were okay in my paper.
And he said, “You know, I don’t even care. They sent me the newest MLA edition yesterday and I just threw it away.”
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my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.
i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.
point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.
i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.
i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.
i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.
(i think i was...six?)
anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.
(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)
so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?
so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.
the compost pile was full of worms.
she then told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and go to heaven, and be able to talk to the worms face to face. that i'd be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident, driven only by excessive Love, and that she was positive they would forgive me because worms have six hearts and no malice.
at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.
and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.
but because she loved me.
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