#“Our people” says Dion.

[beliscary]

sir terence...

[bvidzsoo]

Color of love

The third star of Cosmically divine...

☆ Author: bvidzsoo

☆ Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

☆ Warning: smut, breeding kink (?), possessiveness, mentions of abuse and enslaving, violence

☆ Word count: 12.3k

☆ Rating: nsfw, mature

☆ Genre: Greek mythology, Hongjoong is Hermes and MC is Iris, fated to be together au

☆ Summary: If there was a God everyone feared, perhaps it was Zeus. After the continuous abuse he's put you through, you never thought you'd get to live your eternal life peacefully. That is, until the messenger God shows up and whisks you away before Zeus can see and stop him.

☆ A/N: Helloo, my lovelies!! ^^ I am back and all fresh to continue my Greek series, memory refreshed of the places that our story takes place at. All villages mentioned in this part are very real places and I decided to use them, since I now know Greek people also read this series, I hope I have done justice with the descriptions and please forgive me if I messed up anything, but I did take some creative liberty (mythology included!) Surprisingly, I don't have much to yap about right now, except that while writing this I derailed a bit from the initial plot I had constructed lmao but it's actually good because it tied everything nicely together. The taglist is still open, so lmk if you want to be added to it. I appreciate all your feedback, so let me know what you thought of Hongjoong's part! ^^ Enjoy, and here's a glossary before you start reading:

★ This is inspired by Greek mythology, but I took creative liberty and adapted it to my likes, so keep that in mind while reading, thank you! ★ Hermes is considered the herald of the gods, but is also a messenger God ★ Iris is the the personification of the rainbow and messenger of the gods, a servant to the Olympians and especially Queen Hera ★ talaria are winged sandals ★ petasos is a wide-brimmed hat with a conical crown worn in ancient Greece ★ Zeus is the god of the sky and is considered the ruler, protector, and father of all gods and humans ★ Hera is the goddess of marriage, family, childbirth, and women, known as the queen of the gods ★ Aphrodite is the Goddess of love, beauty, desire, and all aspects of sexuality ★ Dryad is a tree nymph  ★ Hades is the God of the underworld ★ Selene is the is the goddess and personification of the Moon ★ Helios is the god representing the sun ★ Isis is the goddess of healing and magic ★ Underworld is a distinct realm where an individual goes after death ★ Cerberus often referred to as the hound of Hades, is a multi-headed dog that guards the gates of the Underworld ★ Ano Skotina, Palaioi Poroi, Palaios Panteleimonas are villages in the Olympic Riviera and are situated on the mountain side ★ Dion is a village and municipal unit in the municipality of Dion-Olympos in the Pieria regional unit, Greece; it's known for its sanctuary of Zeus and its ancient city (definitely give it a visit if you're in the area!) ocean divider; greek divider

☆ Taglist: @patchofblue @sthwaaberry @constipatedcorgi @holytidalwavechees3cake @cheolliehugs

@slowitdownmakeitb0uncy @hoeforsungie @skittyneos @mingheol @sebastianswhore13

@astral-trashcan

༄ ҉ Series m.list ༄ ҉ 　★ previous star ★ 

            Alongside the mountain range of Olympus lays more than one beautiful settlement, some so breathtakingly magnificent that one would dare say the Gods themselves have crafted them. It goes without saying that it wasn’t them, but perhaps the humans that have constructed such roads and buildings were momentarily blessed by Hephaestus to wield their instruments the same way he wields his, with the same precision and perfection, building a haven for those who sought a refuge and a place to which they belonged. The lush green mountain range held more than one hidden village from the prying eyes of those wandering through the forest or the inhabitants of the bustling town of Dion, and these small settlements also offered refuge to those who desperately needed one. Right underneath the noses of the Olympian Gods, blessed but also scrutinized and often forgotten about, nobody would’ve thought to look for the two that held so much power in their pale hands, their bodies frail-looking but everlasting. The earthlings of Ano Skotina were unassuming and comprehensive of the two strangers who ran down the cobblestone-covered paths with baited breaths and soaked to the bone by the heavy rain, yet despite the oddness of their appearance and mumbled speeches, the villagers offered the two wandering souls fresh meal, a warm bath, and a house that they could call theirs. It almost felt like a distant memory now, something that happened centuries ago when, in fact, it was merely a few years back, when Zeus’ rage was still fresh and unforgiving as it mercilessly outlashed the mortals that worshipped him so much.

With the disappearance of Iris from Olympus, the Gods felt restless and uncertain, however, no matter how much Zeus scattered them out to search for his beloved seer, no God or Goddess has ever found her. But she was right under their noses, albeit tucked away in a safe place and surrounded by mortals who loved her and worshipped her unknowingly of her real self and status. The tall pinecone trees mixed with those specific to the climate had turned a sharper and more brilliant green compared to their colour before the two strangers decided to settle down in the quiet village, and after every rain, there was a rainbow. The children of the village would giggle and squeal whenever it appeared in the blue sky as they tried to chase its end, leaving a bright smile on my face as I tinkered around my humble abode, waiting for my lover to return.

The villagers of Ano Skotina were pleasant people, and once they warmed up to the newcomers, they included them in every tradition they had, often showering them with goods they didn’t need anymore. Despite looking as human as possible, there was something unearthly about the two newcomers, their auras bright and light, demanding a certain devotion that many in Olympus lacked. It had been hard at first to get used to the kindness and good deeds that seemingly followed every person here, but at last, I learned and realized that not everyone wished ill on their peer, nor did they expect anything in return if they did something for you.

At first, I had felt ungrateful towards their kindness as I found myself unknowing of the customs of the earthlings. Despite being a messenger, I never quite learned their ways and patterns. But they were understanding and chalked it up to me being peculiar, special, and a little different from them and never made me feel excluded when something was new and I didn’t understand the process of it. Hermes was doing better by my side, he accommodated faster, but that was to be expected. He’s been amongst mortals for longer than me, disguising himself as one as it came as second nature to him. Despite the range of our powers, neither Hermes nor I were blessed with the feat of turning ourselves completely human, and thus, I couldn’t help but blame it on a natural wonder and a blessing made by a Goddess when I was just a child that my hair changed its colour every season. During the colder days, it would turn into an ashen brown, slowly turning into a warm caramel colour as the sun returned. When it got so warm that not even the shade of the tall trees could shelter me from the sizzling sunrays, my hair turned a reddish hue, until it faded into a light brown when the leaves started falling once again. The mortals never said anything, never accused me of anything, but it was easy to tell that they knew something was amiss, that it had to do something with the divine. Perhaps that also prompted them to be kinder and gentler towards me, oftentimes noticeable just how squeamish I was around everyone besides my saviour. His name, the one that the mortals so feverishly worshipped, was Hermes, but the one they unassumingly called out as if he were a friend to them was Hongjoong. I, myself, found the later version of his name more comforting, friendlier, and for once not a reminder of everything I had to endure in Olympus at the hands of Zeus.

The night had been serene when we blew out the last candle and made our way to our shared bed, the covers cold until our ghastly bodies warmed them up, hushed whispers and giggles leaving our reddish lips until we became enraptured by the night and the dreams it brought upon once our minds and souls calmed and admitted defeat to the simple feat of exhaustion. Wrapped in the arms of my lover nothing and nobody could hurt me, I knew I was safe and far away from the very God that called himself our father and protector. But there were nights when my dreams were clouded with visions, making my sleep restless and terrifying. Some visions that came to me would be bright and of great news, and some would be foreboding and dark, petrifying.

At first, when the bright moonlight coming through the opened curtains slowly faded into permeating darkness, I thought it must have been the rainclouds covering the beautiful celestial, but with the appearance of the gut-twisting feeling low in my stomach, I knew something was amiss. The house was eerily quiet and I was alone, no longer in the safe and strong arms of my lover. My feet were cold as I carefully left the confines of my bedroom, the floorboards wet and slippery in an uncharacteristic way. Perhaps Hongjoong had visited Poseidon and brought the seawater inside our house, perhaps the rain was so harsh it settled and flooded our house. But the absence of the pitter-patter of the rain against the roof of the cottage was enough to confirm that it wasn’t raining, and with the talaria not in its place, I also knew Hongjoong wasn’t home.

The quiet hiss behind me and the fear spreading through my body warned me that this wasn’t my reality, that I had been sucked into a vision while unconscious. Most of my visions happened when I was asleep, when my mind was at rest and open to receiving whatever the Cosmos wanted to alert me of, but if the situation was dire, I could force myself into a state of consciousness too to see such visions. Rarely, but it’s been happening more often since I have descended into the human realm, I would get snippets of the future if I touched certain objects or even mortals, visions that usually bore good news. And so, without my consciousness stirring me awake to interrupt the vision, I turned to face the hissing animal behind me. A long and dark green snake was slowly slithering towards me, menacing as it opened its mouth and showed its poisonous fangs. A snake couldn’t kill me, I was immortal after all, but it certainly could harm this human body I was forced to inhibit in this realm.

But the ground shook and the sky cleared once again, the scenery different to where my unconscious body lay peacefully in the arms of my lover. The pinecone trees twisted and turned around me, caging me in as the snake came menacingly close, and I raised my head to look at the moon but it was absent. I was deep in the forest, I could hear the hushed whispers of the Dryads, the concern and fear in their voices. The snake rose off the ground and gave one last hiss before it lunged towards me, my legs apparently frozen in place as I couldn’t jump away or even run off. But before it could sink its teeth into my pale and frail skin, an eagle’s scream was loud and warning as it suddenly gripped the snake in its sharp claws and yanked it away from my body, taking it far away as it flew off into the permeating darkness. The Dryads haven’t stopped whispering, and while their mutters remained intangible, they became louder and more urgent. My legs stopped feeling like lead and I took a tentative step in the direction I hoped the cobble path was and would lead me back to the village, but a shadow darker than darkness itself seeped between the trees as if it was mist, encompassing the forest.

There was a scream in the distance and sudden terror gripped at my throat, my body locking up as I stared into the silver orbs that now seemed to be blocking my every-way, watching me almost tauntingly. I couldn’t breathe as my lungs seized, and I clawed at my throat, but the pressure only worsened, my body shaking from fear and the lack of oxygen. My vision became hazy as creepy laughter echoed around me, a terrifyingly familiar voice, a voice that I loathed with my whole being. I was succumbing to the greater force the more seconds ticked by, but before my eyes could roll to the back of my mind and allow my body to crumble to the cold floor of the forest, a face so clear it managed to make me gasp appeared in front of my face.

The man’s face was simply gorgeous, tanned from the sun and defined at the jaw with a nose that few bore around these parts. His eyes were uneven but sharp, and his pretty lips formed a word I couldn’t understand just yet. My ears were ringing louder than the person’s words, but the more my eyes bore into the stranger’s terrified ones, the clearer everything once again became.

“Run!” His shrill voice was raspy as I was forcefully shoved back and I stumbled for a moment until I regained my bearings.

I could move, I could hear, I could feel.

My body trembled as that familiar cackle echoed around me once again, and I realized the gorgeous stranger was one of the Dryads who whispered in the trees. He looked more scared than I had ever felt, and with a hand reaching out for him desperately to pull him with myself, my feet kicked off before the cold darkness could touch my skin.

And then, as quickly as it came, the vision was gone. I was shaken awake by the frantic calls of my name and warm hands that gripped my arms with tremors. “Y/N! My beloved, please, Y/N. Iris, please, wake up!”

My eyes slowly fluttered open and I realized the curtains were still drawn apart to allow the moonlight inside, to honour Selene and perhaps greet her when she passed on the sky with her chariot. Even if one could hide from Zeus, Selene and Helios saw and knew everything. But my vision was soon obscured by two bright eyes, an amber nobody else I knew had as they shook in fright and bore into mine, searching for anything wrong. My body felt tense and my throat a little parched, but other than that, I was alright. I knew I had been dreaming, I knew a vision came to me, but everything felt wrong. There was something just not right about the vision, about the way it occurred, about the man that showed itself to me. It took me a few seconds to register everything I had seen, and soon, my eyes were just as glazed over with fear as Hongjoong’s. I shot up and cradled my knees to my chest as Hongjoong settled down behind me, reluctant to touch me as he exhaled shakily.

“My beloved, what is the matter?” He questioned quietly, his voice pained, “I cannot help if you don’t talk to me. Was it another night terror, Iris?”

I gulped and my arms tightened around my legs a little bit more, “A vision, Hermes, an omen. Something bad is about to happen, he’s coming for me.”

There was rustling behind me and then I felt the press of a firm chest against my back, strong arms wrapping around my middle to pull me back into the warm body of my lover. I sighed, but my muscles remained tense as I tried to shake away the lingering feelings of the vision. Somebody was out there to get me. Somebody sent by Zeus, once again, and they were close, too close for comfort. The snake almost managed to touch me, perhaps it represented the mortal or traitor, even, that Zeus had sent. I wouldn’t put it past him to send the dirtiest of those that he had once cast away to bring me back to him so that he could enslave me once again.

“Nothing bad will happen, Y/N,” Hongjoong whispered as his chin came to rest on my shoulder. He turned his head and his soft brown hair tickled my cheek in the process, “You are with me and I will do everything to keep you safe, I have promised. No, I have sworn on my immortality, I’ll never let him find you, my beloved.”

Hongjoong’s tone was soft and tender as his fingers gripped my sheer nightgown tightly, pressing his front to the back of my body as tightly as he could, his hot lips brushing against my ear almost teasingly. I gulped, remembering the fear in the Dryad’s eyes too vividly, it had felt too real. I couldn’t even tell if he was part of the vision or if he had managed to cause a rift in the Cosmos to consciously warn me of the danger that was now closer than ever before. We’ve managed to stay hidden for so long, the fear of losing my freedom again was all-consuming and terrifying.

“The Dryad was terrified,” I whispered as my eyes coated over with the remnants of the vision, hard to erase such a look from my mind, “I don’t even think he was part of my vision. There was an eagle too in my dream, Hongjoong.”

My lover’s gulp was audible and I turned my face to face his, prompting Hongjoong to lean back just a bit so that we could stare into each other’s eyes. Suddenly, a soft smile graced his lips and my heartbeat picked up just a little bit, my tense muscles finally easing and letting me become putty in Hongjoong’s comforting embrace.

“He won’t touch you.” There was a menace in his tone, warning and promising of pain, his eyes glazed over with fire for a second, memories taking him away from me, but Hongjoong quickly returned as his eyes cleared, tone more passionate than before, “If there’s anyone that can keep you captive, then that’s me because I’ll forever treat you with respect and love, care and tenderness. I’ll be your slave if that’s what you want me to be, I’ll prove to you again and again how devoted I am, I’ll treat you like a Queen if that’s who you want to be, Y/N. But most of all, I’ll run until the end of Earth for you if that means I can keep you safe, I’ll run and never stop. I’ll never step foot into Olympus ever again if that keeps you safe from those tyrants.”

“Don’t say that.” I whispered as Hongjoong’s left arm untangled from around my torso so that he could cup my cheek, “With me gone, it’s already hard for everyone to keep up. I’m making you do all the work by yourself, it’s unfair. If you’ll be gone too, I fear our fates will be dire once we are discovered.”

“I know more than he’ll ever know, Y/N, I carry all secrets and strategies. If he tries to separate us or threatens to turn us into stars, I’ll know how to corner him.” A smirk that would frighten any mortal crossed Hongjoong’s lips, “And I will threaten to throw him off if he doesn’t back off.”

I knew no matter what I said to my lover his resolve wouldn’t break, it was of no use trying to convince Hongjoong that if he went against Zeus he most certainly would perish. No matter how much you knew, not even his own weaknesses could stop the God, he was the father of us all after all, and Hongjoong was merely a deity that had more power and free will than those unlucky like me.

“I love you.” The confession bubbled past my quivering lips, and I watched Hongjoong’s Adam's Apple bob up and down as he swallowed, eyes darkening with want and fire that was perfectly reflected in his amber irises. Our human bodies were more fragile than our godly forms, they felt everything so much deeper, so much more passionately. I couldn’t help but succumb to the fire that licked at my skin as our warm lips pressed together, hungry and never satiated with the other as Hongjoong gently grabbed my hips and manoeuvred me around until I was sat atop him. Our lips smacked together with a languid pace and our teeth clumsily clanked together whenever one of us bit the other’s bottom lip eagerly, my long fingers finding purchase in Hongjoong’s wavy strands as his calloused hands guided my core over his clothed member. The soft fabric of his sleepwear was thin and hid nothing as he grunted at the first drag of my hips forward and back, making me eagerly swallow the sounds he was making. One warm hand settled on my thigh, underneath my nightgown, and slowly bunched up the fabric until it rested just above my hips.

Desire licked at my insides as hotness spread through my body, cheeks flushed as Hongjoong’s hands traced invisible patterns into my skin, his touch leaving a trail of goosebumps as they slowly slithered towards my lower back, digging into my flesh. I sighed against his mouth before pulling back to tilt his head back and press kisses against his well-defined jaw, the moonlight making his appearance godlier than he ever was in his deity form. I moaned against his simmering skin as his nails dug into the flesh of my bottom, heat pooling in my lower stomach as he pressed me down just harder on his clothed member, drawing out a moan from both of us as my bare core ground right on top of it. The wetness between my legs only became more prominent and I bit into the flesh of his neck, making Hongjoong’s head fall back as he breathed through his mouth loudly, a whine falling past them every time I sucked a little harder, every time I let him drag my core over his hard member, hot despite the fabric separating us.

“I love you.” He gasped into the silence as his hands settled on my thighs again, my hips moving on their own as the friction had started feeling too good to stop, leaving a dark patch on his light-coloured trousers, which mixed with his own precum. I pressed a long kiss against his lips as I fiddled with the hem of his trousers and hastily pulled them down, freeing his member as I eagerly aligned myself up with it, our eyes meeting before I sunk on it. Hongjoong’s grip tightened on my thighs and he whimpered as I hugged him close to my body, fingers tangling into his hair once again, offering an anchor as my walls clamped down on his length. Hongjoong was safe, home was where he was, and I never wished to be anywhere else but in his arms. He saw past my gift and looked at my soul, he appreciated me and worshipped me for who I truly was and not for why everyone seemed to want me. Just a seer, a lowly deity that was able to glance into the future and sometimes the present. Hongjoong never demanded of me to look into his future, to spy on a vision for him, he only asked me to love him back. But he didn’t have to ask, I had always known if there was any mortal or deity I could love, it was him.

The muscles of my thighs tensed as I tentatively rose before sinking back down on his dick, making Hongjoong groan as he leaned back to support himself with one hand, bracing my hip with his other as he gently guided me. I let my hands rest on his shoulders as he snapped his hips upwards and ripped a moan out of me, making me meet his thrusts eagerly as our movements synced up, the slapping sounds became louder and louder in the confinement of our bedroom as we both lost each other to the feeling of overwhelming lust and love, the desire to possess and be possessed, to belong to someone, to love and be loved.

            But life had not always been like this. For centuries and centuries, it hadn’t been like this but full of torment, pain, and demands that seemingly never came to an end. Everyone always wanted something from me, they always took and took, but they never gave back anything. I understood my role in the Cosmos, and as the bearer of messages between the mortals and Gods, I knew I had to be flexible and report whenever I was needed. I had to prioritize my purpose and place everyone above myself, it’s just how nature worked. And it had been alright, I felt most fulfilled when I was doing what my calling was, when I was guiding Gods and mortals alike, stringing them onto the right path headed towards a bright future. But I was naïve and careless, I hadn’t realized that once the knowledge of the full extent of my powers fell into the wrong hands it would be exploited, that it would turn against me and hurt me in the process. Glancing into the future, predicting silly things like the weather, and warning mortals of floods or wildfires soon turned into commands and demands of looking into the fate of a disobeying God or Goddess, into spying on those that dared turn against Zeus, of migraine after migraine when I was at my wit's end, begging to be left alone to recharge and step away from the visions.

Zeus was unforgiving and violent, greedy and desperate to control everything and everyone around him. When the word of me being a seer got to him, my freedom was stripped and I never saw the sunlight unless I had orders to deliver a message. My visions became constant because I just had to do what he told me if I didn’t want to turn into a star, and my body and mind were exhausted. I couldn’t sleep, sometimes I would get stuck in a vision for weeks on end, unable to break free, becoming a prisoner of my own mind. It was terrifying and excruciatingly painful; I couldn’t tell whether I was still alive or not. It was silly, a deity never dies as long as it has worshippers, but my soul felt so tired I wished all mortals would drop dead so that my existence would cease too.

Zeus hid me away from everyone, he lied to Hera that I decided to reside on a secluded island down amongst the humans and wished not to be spoken to or reached out to unless the message was time-bound and very important. I had been an important messenger of Hera, and my heart broke when I felt her trust and respect in me vane, but what hurt, even more, was that she never questioned her lover, that she never actually tried to look for me and see if the God was indeed saying the truth. What hurt the most, even in my deity form, was that nobody actually cared enough about me to come and rescue me from the terrorizing clutches of Zeus, that nobody loved and respected me to save me from the torment I had to go through for centuries on end. Everything hurt, even speaking and sleeping, I was nothing but a shell of what I once used to be. Zeus never cared, he just wanted the visions, he threw me around until the physical pain became so unbearable that I just had to scavenge my mind for even a trace of a vision. I became scared of my own power, of what he’d to do me if I didn’t learn how to control it better.

And then one night, or day I couldn’t tell, as I lay exhausted on the cold marble floor of the room Zeus had imprisoned me into, there was a whoosh of a breeze inside and the shatter of a vase. I had no idea what’s happened, I couldn’t see quite right and my head was pounding, covering everything in an unclear haze. But something metallic was hurled underneath my long fingers and when my index finger curiously poked against it a vision so sudden and harsh that it knocked the wind out of my lungs clouded my eyes with flashes of a handsome and somewhat familiar face, smile mischievous yet menacing, his amber eyes ablaze and raging. I had known of him, of course, I have, but we’ve never quite crossed paths, so it was bizarre to get a vision so suddenly of Hermes. It wasn’t even Zeus asking me to look into him, I wasn’t even forcing my mind and soul to connect with it, it just came by itself. Tears flooded my unseeing eyes at the feeling and I tried not to sob upon realizing that my soul was still somewhat aligned with the Cosmos despite how much I’ve forced myself to see and hear everything, having broken the order of the Universe.

And the vision of Hermes persisted for months on end, until, the marble door separating me from freedom was blown into bits and pieces and the God rushed inside with flushed cheeks and a ragged breath. He said nothing as he scooped me up in his arms, lips hot as they pressed against my cold forehead, and for the first time since my existence, my heart started beating in an uneven pattern, fingers digging into the silky fabric of his shirt as I begged him to save me. Hermes looked angry, but not at me, he looked at me with pity in his eyes but said nothing as he broke the glass of the window with the heel of his foot. I couldn’t remember much as I lost consciousness after that, but I felt the wind blow around us harshly as we fell freely, descending into a realm that was familiar yet new, a cocoon of lush green trees and springs that were clearer than the sky and sun hotter than the rays in Olympus, a place that soon became our new home.

The paths leading down the mountain range were soon after our arrival covered in cobblestones, creating an easy and clear passage for the villagers of Ano Skotina, Palaioi Poroi and Palaios Panteleimonas down to Dion, which resided at the foothill of Mount Olympus. The villagers had put in hard work once Hermes brought up his idea, and with his help, it only took the men a few weeks to construct the paths and connect the otherwise strenuous trek for the villagers if they wished to travel between the settlements. But with our arrival it seemed that the fauna and flora flourished more than before, the villagers became livelier and eagerly awaited the appearance of a rainbow which hadn’t been spotted in ages by the mortals.

Having been saved from the clutches of Zeus, I was finally regaining myself. Hongjoong stood by my side every single step of the journey and he offered a helping hand when it all became too much and too exhausting. He hid me away from all the deities and promised to settle down in a village where Zeus would never find us. We couldn’t go far from Olympus as he still had to fulfil his duties, but with me gone, Zeus had no insight into anyone, he wouldn’t know who had stolen his slave away from him.

But even if we were hiding in plain sight, we’d never be safe from him.

            On the days that the Gods and Goddesses were too busy bickering with each other, forgetting all about their worshippers, the sky seemed to be clearer and a lighter blue. On days like that it was safe for me to leave the confines of Ano Skotina and hike down to Dion with Hongjoong. I loved days like this because as much as I was scared of Zeus finding us, I loved the loudness of the bustling town, the liveliness and eagerness on the faces of mortals, and most importantly, I loved the market where we could trade fresh flowers and fruits. If the weather deemed good and the deities remained preoccupied with their selfish deeds, Hongjoong and I would follow the path down to the sea and dip in the warm but refreshing water. Poseidon wasn’t always around, busy with his errands, so, it was safe to explore the beautiful sea in his absence.

Given our origins, it took Hongjoong and me around an hour to descend from the mountainside down into the town, our talaria polished and well-kept. We hid them in Hongjoong’s satchel as soon as we neared the closest settlement to avoid being discovered by the humans. Sneaking around always brought a little sense of excitement, of my blood boiling hotter and my heart pumping faster, only heightened when Hongjoong would playfully chase me down the cobblestone-covered paths inside of Dion, heads turning our way as they watched on curiously. There wasn’t a day where boredom could threaten to kidnap me if Hongjoong was around, he’s had plenty of time to observe the earthlings and find out what would be amusing and help the time pass by faster. Not that I wished for that to happen, I cherished every second I spent next to Hongjoong, clinging to him despite our unlimited time.

Being with him had always felt right, from the very moment he lifted me in his arms to save me from Zeus. There was something about his eyes that assured me that we were right for each other, that it was written in the stars, that my suffering for so long wasn’t fruitless. He had known he had to save me when he accidentally caught a glimpse of me through the barely open door of my cell-like room, Zeus’ voice booming as he demanded a vision from me before he could send Hermes on his way to deliver his message. He had returned just days later and snuck inside my room to assess the situation, accidentally knocked over a vase when he heard someone approach the door, then fled through the open window. He couldn’t return for months; Zeus was suspicious of him and he was scared if he was caught we’d both perish. But he remained vigilant and at last came back for me.

I made sure to remain close to Hongjoong’s side as the market was packed with more people than usual this afternoon, our pinkies reaching out for each other whenever the other strayed closer. He was discussing something I couldn’t hear with a blacksmith, wondering whether he had more metal to trade with him as my attention remained on the flower stall and the lovely old lady who always had the brightest smile on her face. Her grey strands were beautiful and highlighted her age nicely, and despite her late age, her demeanour was just as youthful as a child’s.

When our eyes met, she beckoned me over with a happy look on her face. Casting Hongjoong a quick glance to make sure he hadn’t moved away yet, I made my way over to the vendor and bowed my head in greetings, “My dear! I haven’t seen you in too long, I was worried about you.”

“My apologies for worrying you, kind soul, I haven’t been able to leave my village.” I kept my answer as vague as possible as her eyebrows furrowed in slight worry. Lately, the deities were busy watching over their desperate worshippers so I couldn’t risk my safety and cover.

“That boy of yours isn’t keeping you captive, is he?” Her eyes narrowed as my cheeks flushed and I quickly shook my head, not keen on her choice of words. I hated hearing anything that had a connection to captivity, and just the thought of Hongjoong keeping me as his prisoner was disgusting and infuriating.

“He would never,” My voice was harsher than intended, “He cherishes me more than anyone ever has.”

“Good, good.” The vendor muttered as her features relaxed once again, “Would you like some pomegranates? I traded them just this morning, I hear they’ve been blessed by Aphrodite herself. Perhaps they’ll make me look youthful once again.”

The old lady giggled as she grabbed the fruit and extended her hand towards me, making my muscles tense at the mention of the deity. If it truly had been blessed by the Goddess I didn’t want to touch it, let alone eat it. She hadn’t been the kindest to me in our years of knowing each other, and despite knowing that Zeus held me in a chamber as his slave, she never said anything to anyone.

“Thank you, but I must refuse you. I do not have anything to trade it with.”  The vendor shrugged and put the fruit away, her fingers grazing against the petals of a sunflower. My eyes followed the action and I yearned to do the same, the yellowness of the flower reminded me of my own rainbow’s colour. It had been a while since I had brought upon the earth a rainbow, I missed its beauty and comforting colours.

“Your scarf seems to be made of silk,” The old lady hummed as she eyed me curiously, “I’ll give you a bouquet of sunflowers if you trade it with me, I know they are your favourite flowers.”

I gulped and gripped the scarf, pondering whether it was worth trading something of high value with something that had little value. But the piece of fabric held no sentimental value to me and autumn would be soon approaching, the old lady needed the scarf more than I did for her body was weaker than mine will ever be. And she was right, I did love sunflowers, it’s been too long since I could hold them in my hands, so, I nodded and untied the scarf from around my neck.

“You’ll seriously trade that beautiful piece for sunflowers?” The vendor next to the old lady asked with scepticism, a dark-haired woman with bushy eyebrows and greediness that wasn’t missed by the mortals either. The old lady ignored her as she tied a big bouquet together for me, happy to trade them.

“I can find many more scarves like this one, but summer is soon ending and I’ll have to wait a long time until sunflowers bloom again,” I answered with a soft smile and took the flowers after I handed over my scarf. The old lady took her time to examine it carefully and I glanced behind myself to see where Hongjoong was. He had moved on to another stall and he was surrounded by several men now as they conversed animatedly, his face bright under the sunlight and amber eyes glinting with interest.

“You have such little value for your possessions.” The other vendor grumbled, and the old lady laughed as she shook her head at the younger woman. I said nothing as I cradled the bouquet against my chest, looking down at the flowers to examine them. Its petals were soft between my fingertips and I took note that its hue was much more vibrant than the colour in my own rainbow, perhaps I could make mine more prominent too.

“The only possession I want to have is over my beloved, nothing else matters to me.”

“Oh, to be young and completely enraptured with a man.” The old lady mused with a knowing look on her face once I looked up at her, my cheeks dusted pink as I realized I had spoken my mind too freely, “I haven’t seen a pair as devoted as you two are to each other.”

“There must be some, I cannot imagine not loving with your whole soul and being—”

“Love is just a fairytale the deities made up to wrangle us around by the nose and manipulate us into doing whatever they want.” The other vendor lady snapped as she interrupted me, and my eyebrows furrowed at her harsh words. Certainly, if any deity were to hear her, her place in the Underworld would be assured and arranged to be painful. The old lady hissed and gave the other vendor an irritated look.

“Quit being so pessimistic, especially to such a young soul.” Before the other vendor could say anything else, the old lady faced me with a curious look, “You must be coming tonight to the offering, right? Zeus will bless you and then you will never part from your lover, he’s great like that.”

Zeus was anything but great, but I didn’t want to ruin the lady’s image of the deity. If I were a maiden praying to Zeus to watch over my lover, he’d rather take me as his lover than offer us his protection. Zeus was horrible like that. But the thought of him made me shiver and I tried to ignore my tensing muscles. I had no idea it was already that time of the month, Hongjoong must’ve forgotten too, otherwise, we would’ve never come down to Dion today of all days.

“I’m afraid I won’t be joining you tonight, I haven’t been feeling well these past few days.” A curious look crossed both of the ladies' eyes and I gulped nervously as I started feeling jittery. I realized I had conversed with them for too long and it was time I returned to the safety of Hongjoong, where nobody would bother me anymore or ask questions.

“You must be with child, then.” The younger vendor declared and my eyebrows furrowed as I cast a glance at her. I most certainly wasn’t with child, I would’ve felt it, but if that lie helped stop more curious questions, then I would take it.

“I am not sure, but perhaps I am,” I answered and the old lady gasped, eyes falling to my belly.

“That is great news, indeed! May the child have your peculiar hair colour and his father’s beautiful eyes.” She wished earnestly and I smiled, feeling just a little bit guilty that Hongjoong and I weren’t actually expecting a child anytime soon. But I blinked my eyes faster and looked down abashed, resisting the urge to shuffle my feet. Deciding that I should return to my lover’s side now, I bid the two vendors my sincerest goodbyes and turned around to search the crowd for Hongjoong. He was a couple of steps away, doing the same, and his eyes lit up when they found me. He had a wide grin on his lips and he waved his fingers playfully as he took off towards me, his steps bouncy and giddy. I chuckled and stopped to let him reach me first, but as I did so, a child narrowly avoided colliding with me as his warm skin brushed against my hand.

The sudden change of scenery managed to knock the wind from my lungs as I gasped and looked around, the market was eerily empty and the sun was hidden behind clouds as suddenly it started becoming darker and darker outside. White mist left my lips as I breathed through my mouth loudly, the temperature having severely dropped made me shiver in my summer gown, head whipping around as I searched for another living soul. But there was no one, not even Hongjoong, and I clenched my palms into fists when I heard the hauntingly familiar cackle once again. The Dryads weren’t here whispering again and I wondered if I’d see the young man once again, if he’d come to warn me again. But nothing happened until an eagle screamed in the distance and then a dark shadow appeared just by the entrance to the market. Its features were unrecognizable, but it towered over the gate as its silver orbs vibrated, looking wildly my way. I gasped and tried to take steps backwards, but I was trapped once again. I felt warm hands touching my arms, a muffled voice worriedly calling my name and something wet pressing against my cheek. The darkness persisted, however, and the shadow cackled once again as the eagle screamed and was suddenly plummeting down towards me, sharp claws drawn and beak parting. But before it could touch me, rip me apart, my eyes flew open.

The loudness of the market made my head thump in pain and I realized I was clutching onto Hongjoong’s shirt tightly as I tried to regain my breathing. My eyes searched to crowd frantically for the shadow, but also to make sure nobody saw my episode. Hongjoong’s arms were warm and slightly trembling as they pulled me into a tight embrace, his lips pressing against my temple as he sighed loudly, “You’re alright, I got you. Let’s head back home, my beloved.”

I nodded wordlessly as Hongjoong took my hand in his and manoeuvred us around the crowd, making sure nobody familiar ran into us so that we’d be able to leave faster. I appreciated his attentiveness as I followed after him, my fingers tightening against his as the crowd was slowly vanning out the closer we reached the end of the town. His features softened once he slowed down to let me fall in step with him, and I raised our joined hands to press a kiss against his hand, “Thank you.”

He said nothing but his amber eyes turned warmer as red swirled behind his irises, his wavy brown hair falling into his eyes and making him look boyish. I chuckled and pressed up on my tiptoes to steal a kiss from Hongjoong, making his eyes widen as a man had just passed us on his horse, his lips widening into an amused smile at our display of affection. I knew my lover was blushing red when he turned his head away, but he squeezed my hand once to let me know he appreciated the gesture, “I saw him again, the shadow, the darkness, the eagle. You know it’s Zeu—”

“Do not speak his name.” Hongjoong cut me off roughly, all previous warmth gone from his features as he faced me abruptly, “Don’t say it, Y/N, I hate it when you do. I hate him, and everything he’s done to you. You are safe with me and nothing will happen to you, I have sworn and I will keep swearing.”

“I know,” I muttered, gulping nervously as I averted my eyes, “but the visions never lie, my love, he’s close, I am not safe anymore.”

I tried not to yelp when suddenly two warm palms cradled my cheeks and yanked me close to Hongjoong’s face, his ablaze eyes boring into mine with fury and determination, “You are mine and if anyone, mortal or deity, touches you, I will burn them until nothing’s left of them. You have suffered enough, I will not let anyone take advantage of you ever again, Iris, it’s over.”

My eyes fluttered closed as my heart thumped wildly, and I leaned forward to press a lasting kiss against Hongjoong’s lips, who pressed his body incredibly close to mine, “You wear my petasos, my beloved, everyone knows you’re mine. Everyone knows what will happen to them if they try to claim you, I won’t allow it anymore.”

His voice was deeper as he spoke up once our lips weren’t pressing against each other and I licked my lips as I nodded, smoothing out the creases between his eyebrows. A silly thought came to mind as Hongjoong’s eyes searched my face and I chuckled as I leaned so close my lips brushed against his when I spoke again, “The vendor ladies think I am with child.”

Hongjoong’s breath stuttered and his pupils dilated as one of his hands grabbed my hips, pressing my body painfully so into his, “Perhaps you should be with child, my beloved.”

“Do you want that?” I asked in a whisper, throat feeling dry as I tried to ignore the fire spreading through my body. This greedy little human body could be so lustful.

“Yes, I want you full of my seed and belly round and pretty.” Hongjoong’s voice was deep as he answered and I had to take a second to compose myself, trying to be the bigger person right now. It wouldn’t be the first time things got a little bit out of hand while we were in public, and I didn’t want something as mortifying to happen again. Last time we were lucky the unfortunate soul who saw us in a scandalous predicament had been an older lady and her husband, both understanding and giggling as they rushed away from the scene. Truthfully, we could’ve picked a more secluded spot and the back of a bar that was often frequented.

“We’re being indecent, Hongjoong.”

“Then let me take you home and show you just how much I want you to carry our child.”

“Hongjoong.”

            One of us had to attend the offering, it was inevitable, and since nobody knew of my location but with Hermes still around, it wasn’t a question that it would be him who would descent to Dion tonight and bring a small flower crown made from my sunflowers and the neighbour’s weeds as his own offering. As a deity, we didn’t have to attend such worshipping customs, but since we were disguising ourselves as mortals it would look suspicious if we didn’t tag along from time to time. I never showed my face around when they were bringing offerings to Zeus as he often liked to disguise himself and come down, watch his loyal followers, and even take maidens to bed and spread his bloodline, but when they would show gratitude for Isis, I made sure to tag along. A deity recognized a deity even in disguise, and despite her catching me at her altar more than once, she never said anything. She could feel my pain, she could see past my smile and looked into my battered soul. She was sensitive and kind, instead of bringing me to Zeus, she blessed me and healed my wounds so that nothing could hurt me so horrendously ever again.

Once we had gotten back from Dion, Hongjoong was busy showing me just how much he really wanted me to carry our child, very reluctant to leave the bed to get ready for the night. I knew he didn’t want to go, he knew I didn’t want to be left alone tonight out of all nights, but we also both knew that we did not have a choice. Deities rarely had a choice, the greater good just always seemed to call out to us. But still, I helped him bathe and dress up, I cooked him a warm dinner and braided little strands of his soft hair while he was busy chiselling his talaria, his petasos already pristine, the leather smelling fresh and feeling soft under the skin.

“Are you certain I must go?” Hongjoong asked with a sigh once he was done with his talaria, eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at me. I ran my fingers through his hair and ruffled the strands that fell into his eyes.

“Yes, my love, you must.” I hummed quietly and Hongjoong sighed long, “We hadn’t attended the offerings in a while, the townsfolk will get suspicious of us at this rate and I quite like this place.”

“I like it here too, it’s serene.” He hummed absentmindedly and I stepped back to let him wear his winged sandals, raising to his feet to test out their agility. He was fast, as always, in good shape and ready to tackle the night’s challenges. I smiled at him proudly as he came to stand in front of me, hands settling on my hips as he licked his lips and looked down at my mouth, “If anything feels wrong, go over to Mr. Do, he will keep you company.”

“I don’t think poor old Mr. Do will be able to tackle a god like Zeus if he shows up,” I said with a chuckle as I circled my arms around Hongjoong’s shoulders, standing on my tiptoes to reach his face better. He chuckled as his eyes searched my face, the amber swirling as fear made its way shown, “I will be alright, Hongjoong, don’t you worry.”

“Of course you will be.” He answered with a scoff as if Zeus showing up was such an impossible feat, “And when I return, I will show you once again just how eager I am to have you with child, to spend the rest of my eternity with you and our son or daughter. I want them to have your kindness and faith, and I want them to have my determination and strength.”

“Aren’t you thinking a bit far ahead, my love?” I asked with a snicker as Hongjoong pouted and shook his head.

“Of course I’m not, my beloved, the seed has been planted, we both felt it.” Hongjoong lowered his face and I watched as his lips parted, “The shift in the Universe has happened, the stars aligned for our love once again, Y/N.”

“We’ve been blessed.” I whispered and tangled my fingers in the hair at his nape, pushing Hongjoong’s face closer to mine, “I am fully yours now.”

“You’ve always been fully mine,” Hongjoong’s voice dropped as his fingers dug into my skin through the fabric of my gown, “only mine.”

I hummed and leaned my head back as his warm lips pressed against mine, instantly eager as they pressed together firmly and forcefully, asking me to part my lips for him. Hongjoong moaned when my tongue dragged against his, coaxing him in deeper as our saliva mixed and tongues brushed together, lighting my skin on fire. My heart pumped faster and my skin jittered, hushed voices and hazy orbs fluttering behind my eyes as a vision threatened to kidnap me from this moment. But I stopped it, I wanted to enjoy the touch of my lover, the sounds of my lover, as I knew the darkness would be back if I were to succumb to the greater force.

Our pace was languid as Hongjoong dragged each kiss out, sucking on my bottom lip before he’d dive right back in, sucking on my tongue too and making me whimper as my hand found an anchor in his nape, holding him as if I were afraid he’d pull back too soon. But he didn’t, he soaked up in the sounds and only kissed me more desperately, pulling back for air when it became too much for our human bodies. I was breathing hard and Hongjoong struggled to even out his pants, our foreheads pressing together as he cleared his throat once and then twice. He licked his lips and then pursed them, fingers twitching as he raised his hands to cup my cheeks, “I wish to return earlier tonight, I’m not done with you yet, Y/N. I have figured if I go earlier and stay for a shorter amount of time it should be fine, Zeus will want me to report back to him so I’ll try to make my journey as fast as possible.”

“I’ll be right here so don’t rush yourself, I don’t want anything to happen to you,” I said worriedly as we untangled from each other, I tried to smooth out the knots I created in Hongjoong’s hair. His outfit remained spotless, the black fabric tight and secure around his strong and well-built body, hugging him snuggly in places that wouldn’t restrict his movement.

“I’m too restless to remain until the end of the festivity either way,” Hongjoong shrugged and kissed my cheek before he went to grab his petasos, “Go to Mr. Do if anything feels even a little bit wrong.”

“I will, I promise.” I smiled reassuringly as my lover headed for the front door, pausing to turn back around with a worrisome look on his face. I knew he was reluctant to go, but he had no choice. One of us had to go and it was him, it was always him, he’d have to report back to Olympus either way and he was right, the quicker he got over with everything, the faster he could return to me. But as soon as the door closed behind me and I was left alone in our safe abode, dark visions clouded my eyes and sent me tumbling to the floor.

            The evening had been harsh to me, the visions seemed to turn only darker as the hours passed by, taunting me. It felt as if I wasn’t in control anymore, as if it was someone else controlling what I saw. My heart pumped fast and my head thumped wildly making my ears ring, and I felt boneless as I tried to stand from the chair I managed to drag myself into. My sight was hazy as I felt around the table for the glass of spring water Hongjoong and I had collected earlier this day, but I failed to reach the cool glass and thus gave up as a harsh wave of nausea almost made me gag. I had never reacted to my abilities so harshly, I couldn’t determine whether it was worrisome or not that my body was having such visceral reactions to the darkness that seemed to linger in the corner of my eyes.

I knew that I was alone in the house and that my visions were tricking me into believing someone was watching me from the shadows, candles unlit as I found the task too strenuous to do with my current state. It all felt too real, it made me scared of how easily my body was succumbing to the terror-filled memories that followed my bodily reactions. It wasn’t the first time my body threatened to shut down, but it’s been far too long since I had felt so sick. It made me remember my captivity and everything I had to endure at Zeus’ hands when he pushed my body over the limit and forced me to become nothing but a vessel that relayed the visions of a seer. I was scared because Hongjoong wasn’t here and because I couldn’t figure out just exactly what was triggering this reaction. All of Isis’ blessings seemed futile all of a sudden, and I found myself wondering whether I could ask the Goddess for guidance and help in dire need, a beckon of light to help me survive until Hongjoong returned and figured out a way to stop my suffering.

But I remembered that Mr. Do was a healer of sorts, a little too old and grumpy, but the villagers loved him and trusted him with their lives countless times before, I have seen it firsthand. Hongjoong and he seemed to have a mutual respect and a deeper understanding of the other’s force that I failed to see and sense. And despite every muscle and joint in my body protesting when I finally pushed myself up into a standing position, I found Hongjoong’s deep trust in the old man a reassuring thought that pushed me to take action and bring myself to the old man’s doorstep, perhaps he knew how to fix this. I had barely reached the front door of my house when my muscles locked up as if they sensed danger, my skin tingling in a way only around another deity it did. But I was alone inside the house, it made no sense, perhaps my seer abilities became uncontrollable and started lashing out in peculiar ways.

I swung the door open, finding the task difficult as my body vehemently tried to disobey my mind’s commands, and despite the haze that clouded my sight, Mr. Do’s small frame not even a few steps away was unmistakable. I hadn’t noticed, but the wind was howling as it bent the weaker branches of trees in odd ways and not one candle was lit inside the neighbouring huts. Cold darkness wrapped around us and I shuddered as it bit at my skin mercilessly, “Mr. Do?”

My voice sounded breathless and pained and my eyebrows furrowed as the older man stepped closer so that I could see him clearly, “Oh, you look sickly, my dear. Let’s head inside.”

I couldn’t find it in myself to object and stepped back inside my house as Mr. Do followed, his height shorter than my lover’s. It seemed to be relatively warmer inside the house, but I still shuddered as I brought the shawl tighter around my shoulders, pressing my nose against the fabric as it smelled like Hongjoong. It brought little comfort, but I relished in it as I willed my sight to clear, at least that little if nothing else seemed to be right with me. Mr. Do seemed curious as his eyes searched the place and I watched him with slight confusion, wondering if it’s been too long since he’d stepped inside our house. But it looked as it always did, the interior hadn’t changed since last week when Hongjoong insisted on having the old man over for dinner as a payment for his kindness after he healed Hongjoong’s broken fingers. It was a freak accident; one he couldn’t heal down here unless he wanted to be caught by the mortals.

“What is bothering you, my dear?” The warm smile felt wrong on Mr. Do’s face, he was someone who never smiled nor showed affection, his face a mask of coldness and uninterest. He never used nicknames and he had never once in his life before directly addressed me. Mr. Do seemed to be afraid to say my name for some reason and he always brought pastries whenever there was a rainbow in the sky, that’s the most emotion he had ever shown. That’s how I knew he didn’t completely mistrust me or hate me. This man standing in front of me was not Mr. Do. But it was too late now, I had already welcomed him inside. I quickly realized that despite his disguise, he couldn’t hide his godly aura, the faint glow around his body or the respect it demanded.

“Why are you here?” Despite my voice being faint, it carried conviction, and braveness, “What do you want?”

“My little seer back.” The man disguised as Mr. Do chuckled and walked further inside the house, walking around as he touched vases and ornaments that clearly belonged to Hermes, “You must understand my utter shock when I found out she was gone. My utter anger and annoyance when I searched for her relentlessly and she was just gone as if swallowed by the earth itself. I assumed it was Hades at first, we know how he likes to play me and taunt me, but when I found him gone from his kingdom and meddling with humans from far away times, I realized something more peculiar had happened.”

I didn’t dare speak up as Zeus walked closer, the face of Mr. Do scrunching up as he tsked, “Imagine my utter confusion and rage when I find out Hermes, my precious messenger and guide, decided to settle amongst the mortals. Not only did I lose my seer, but my messenger too.”

“Hermes never stopped serving you.” My voice was harsh as I willed the bile down my throat and blinked my eyes quickly to try and get rid of the haze, which was very possibly induced by Zeus himself. I understood why my body lashed out like this, it sensed danger and it was warning me. But it was too late now, I had walked myself into Zeus’ trap.

“He didn’t, you are right, little seer, but he also started slacking off.” He scoffed and I gulped as I remained put, my feet frozen to the floor, “You must imagine I assumed he was frolicking with the mortals at first, but then certain inaccuracies just stopped making sense, you see. I have other means of looking into my little deities, Iris, I don’t need you—”

“Then why did you keep me for so long?” My voice raised as my sight finally cleared and I was able to glare at Mr. Do’s serene face, fire and anger replacing my fear as I stared the God down, “If you don’t need me, why did you subject me to so much strenuous work and pain? Why did you force me to seek and seek without break, to bend myself and ruin who I once was?”

“The secret to being a deity is so simple, my little seer,” Zeus’ voice was quiet as he walked even closer, eyebrows slightly furrowed, “We are just like these mortals that worship us, we are greedy and selfish and we take without consideration, we possess and we demand, we punish and we slay, so, what sets us apart from them?”

“Immortality, lack of morals and care of those around us,” I whispered, unable to gulp down the lump in my throat anymore as my heart raced faster, ears starting to ring once again.

“Power, abilities that mortals will never have, is what sets us apart, Iris—or should I call you Y/N, now?” Mr. Do chuckled but his voice sounded distorted. My muscles tensed when his short frame suddenly grew taller, towering over me menacingly, “This is why you are such an insignificant deity to most, you are too soft, you love and want to be loved. You wish to belong to someone and to possess someone, it makes you weak. You act more like a mortal than a Goddess.”

“I never felt like I belonged in Olympus,” My face became hard as my eyes narrowed, unafraid to speak my mind for once. A surge of anger pushed me to speak my mind, to stand up for myself and demand the respect I was never given, “I was always pushed away by my kin, made fun of and ostracized. Your own lovely wife made me a slave of hers, and then you. You look down on me and judge me, but you wish to possess just as much as I do, if not more.”

The God remained silent as his jaw ticked and Mr. Do’s face formed into an unfamiliar shape, features mixing with familiar faces, but still unknown. It didn’t stop shifting as Zeus’ eyes bore into mine and it felt like the air was ripped from my lungs as they started squeezing in on itself, choking me as I fell to the side, clutching onto the table tightly.

“I want to punish you direly for thinking you could abandon your ruler, Iris, I really do wish.” His voice was a dark hiss as I tried to breathe, but couldn’t, “But you’re too precious to be turned into foam or a star, Hermes, however, I know just the perfect way to make him suffer for his insubordination.”

My eyes widened at the mention of Hongjoong and I tried to speak, but I couldn’t as dark spots started colouring my vision. I tried to object and scream, but no word left my mouth as I scrapped at my throat in despair while Zeus watched on with an amused expression. He loved seeing his toys fret and beg for mercy, he loved feeling like the King he was, able to rule over everyone and decide everyone’s fate. But before my misery could continue, the door of the house was slammed open and loud panting filled the house.

“I forgot my satchel—” Hongjoong’s breathless words caught in his throat as suddenly the airflow was back in my lungs and I started coughing loudly as my knees gave out and sent me tumbling to the floor. Hongjoong was by my side in an instant, body hot and skin sizzling as he grabbed my cheeks and forced my head up. His amber eyes were almost fully red as he searched for visible injuries and his jaw ticked as he turned his head to face Zeus. He had a vicious look in his eyes and he almost but spat in front of the God as his voice thundered in the confined space, “What are you doing here?!”

“I came for what’s mine—” The laugh that left Hongjoong’s mouth was guttural and it made me shiver as my frantic eyes looked at my lover with despair, begging him to remain level-headed so that he wouldn’t ruin his chances of survival furthermore.

“What’s yours?” Hongjoong spat, eyes falling on me once again to make sure I was alright. He gulped as he cradled my cheeks and I opened my mouth to beg him to stop and walk away, but lips pressed against mine firmly before I was staring back into his wild amber eyes once again. He had made up his mind, and I could do nothing to convince him to stop, to think through whatever action he took next. He was here to protect me and if that meant he’d lose his life in the process, he didn’t care. He had sworn to protect me and I knew he’d do no less than that, “Enlighten me, Zeus, what’s yours again?”

The God seemed appalled by the way Hongjoong spoke to him, face contorting into disgust as he watched my quivering form and Hongjoong’s protective stance as he stood up and shielded me from the God’s furious eyes, “Iris is what’s mine, you fool. I will feed you to Cerberus if you utter one more word—”

But Hongjoong was reckless and he didn’t care as he threw his head back to laugh loudly, hysterically, and I clutched the trousers at his ankle and yanked on them to get him to stop, but he was gone, far gone. He’d go to unimaginable lengths to protect what was his and not even his lover could stop him anymore.

“Cerberus would hack me back up if he were to swallow me, don’t be foolish you old man.” Hongjoong tsked as if he was scrutinizing a child and my heart raced in fear for him, “Besides, Hades likes me too much to let me perish, after all, I make his job a lot easier with all the souls that I carry for him to the gates of the Underworld.”

Zeus hissed and stepped closer, hands balling up into fists. I took notice of the wind picking up frighteningly so outside, to the point it rattled the hinges of the windows, and I could only pray the other villagers wouldn’t be affected by Zeus’ wrath. They haven’t been anything but kind and loving to us, I would never forgive myself if anything were to happen to them.

“Before you destroy this lovely village,” Hongjoong seemed to be thinking the same as he smirked, the look on his face eerie as red swarmed around in his dark irises, overshadowing its beautiful caramel hue, “I must inform you that I have claimed Iris and she has claimed me, so you cannot touch neither one of us, you old fool.”

My cheeks heated despite the predicament and I gulped when deafening silence followed, the wind suddenly disappearing. My heart raced in my chest and it felt like it had ascended into my throat as I felt Hongjoong’s hands around my forearms, helping me up to stand next to him. His smirk remained frightening to any mortal, but the mischievous glint in his eyes told me that he was in control, that the odds were for once in our favour as he smoothed my hair down for me, “And since you are the one that loves to make up foolish rules for your peasants to follow, do I need to remind you what it means when a deity claims someone?”

Zeus just gulped, eyes darting between me and Hongjoong, the veins underneath his skin lightning as they travelled, his eyes turning a misty grey. No one knew Zeus’ real face, but I had come close to seeing it more than once, it was ugly. It reflected the person he was on the inside; he was ugly through and through, no wonder he chose to disguise himself even between his own kin, “I can still use her abilities to my liking, Hermes, that’s not what claiming one enthrals.”

“Oh, does it not now?” Hongjoong chuckled and I felt an arm sneak around my hips until his palm pressed flatly against my belly, his bottom lip between his teeth as raised an eyebrow mockingly, “Even if the seed had been planted to bring forth a new life?”

“She’s pregnant?” Zeus’ voice raised octaves as his eyes widened comically and the fundament of the house shook as I shuddered, clutching onto Hongjoong’s arm for stability. My skin was cold and I was shivering, but Hongjoong remained like a pilar by my side, supporting me and offering me braveness.

“She is pregnant with my child, yes.” Hongjoong’s smirk spread into a wide grin that made him look crazed as his amber eyes simmered in the darkness and the ground shook again. I looked at Zeus reluctantly as I let my hand rest above Hongjoong’s, our fingers tangling together as we held onto my belly. Zeus could feel it too, the shift in the Universe and the change in the alignment of the stars, he knew Hermes and I were fated to be together; he knew if he went against the wishes of the Cosmos, it would be him paying the price and not us. I couldn’t help but huff as I suddenly felt all tension leave my muscles, serenity infusing my brain and body like never before. Hongjoong, too, knew we were safe when his offensive stance relaxed and he stood tall in contentment.

“You are both traitors.” Zeus hissed, but there was no force in his voice, only defeat and despair, “And if I can’t make you pay, the Cosmos will find ways to make you suffer for what you’ve done.”

“Is that what you say to all the mistresses you keep?” My tone was cold and unforgiving, it shocked both Hongjoong and Zeus, “I wish you nothing but an eternity of suffering and misfortune, I wish that all of your children turn on you and bring your demise like you had brought your own father’s, Zeus.”

“Did you just curse me?” His voice boomed as Hongjoong threw his head back and started cackling loudly, bringing a small smile to my lips as I chuckled.

“I am no witch, Zeus, but I believe the Cosmos works in peculiar ways.” I stopped to take a breath, to finally say what I always wished to tell him, “And just because you are supreme to all of us, it doesn’t mean you are invincible. The Cosmos doesn’t differentiate in kind.”

Somewhere in the distance, a bolt of lightning struck and a deafening roar travelled through the forest as Zeus turned into nothing but dust and charged energy, lighting our house in blinding light for a second until everything was covered in darkness and silence. I remained frozen as Hongjoong started giggling, cradling my face as he grinned at me widely, “You are the most breathtaking creature I have ever had the luck to come across, my beloved.”

“I love you too, Hongjoong.” I chuckled and let him kiss me messily before he pulled back and giggled again, unable to contain the giddiness our small victory brought upon the both of us.

“Do you think I still have to report back to him tonight?” The question made me laugh as I threw my arms around his torso and pressed my body against his, revelling in his comforting warmth as I nuzzled my nose against his neck. Hongjoong pressed a chaste kiss against the crown of my head and I melted into his arms, feeling safe and like a weight had been lifted from my chest. We would be alright for the time being, the child would be safe down between the mortals and Zeus would leave us alone for now. I couldn’t tell what the future had in store for us, at least not until a vision came to me, but I didn’t care as long as Hongjoong was by my side.

The Cosmos gifted those deserving and took from those undeserving.

❱❱ Next star

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[if-whats-new]

Passings and Hiatus

Hi everyone!

Bex here. We have a very very sad message from the rest of the group which needed to shared.

Hi Everyone, This was not an easy post to write, but something that still should be communicated.

During the night of Sunday to Monday, Marjorie suffered an aneurysm. Unfortunately, she passed away before anything could be done.

Marjorie had been sick for a very long time, but her state deteriorated this year, and worsened during this summer. She had felt for a while she would probably not see many more milestones or even get to the end of the year, but she did her best to stay with us for as long as she could.

Marjorie strived to fill her days with happy moments and do things that made her happy, especially at the end. She wanted others to feel loved, appreciated, and seen, with her actions. In recent years, Interactive Fiction brought her a lot of joy (and sadness, and anger, etc...), and through it, she could connect with others - others who didn't see her in pain or sickly. IF had become her safe heaven when things were rough.

What's New in IF? would not have existed without Marjorie. Truly. She was the one who came up with the idea. She wanted to do something special, she told us, to bring some positive into the world, however she could. Marjorie was the one who hyped us up, and brought us on board. It was an electric time, and we stayed up deep into the night messing around to make... something with the idea. It wasn't well thought out, and we didn't realize what we were getting into, but she'd never been this excited about something in recent time.

So, she became the captain who steered this little ship of friends, connected through our appreciation of and love for the medium. But she wasn't just the idea person, she was down in the trenches, organizing it all, spearheading us on the right path, turned words into actions. When we needed some time, she would take over without a second's notice. She was always there, no matter what, at the ready.

She hoped, by her little idea and couple of hours of afflicting efforts, she was doing at least a little good for the community. She worried, often, that she wasn't doing enough, or doing it well enough, to give back the last of herself to the community who made those past years enjoyable for her. But not once did she want to pull that string publicly: she never wanted to take attention away from those who worked hard on their craft (her words). It mattered so much to her.

Through her and thanks to her, we learned so much. About ourselves and each other. And we shared with each other our appreciation for others, what we were passionate about, what we hoped for ourselves. She made us such better people, and we could never thank her enough for it.

Marjorie was first and foremost a loving daughter, a kind and attentive friend, and a passionate woman. Even with her failing health, she advocated for all who needed even a tiny bit support. She was a wonderful and compassionate soul, who always tried to see the best in people, but was never afraid to confront those who needed to face their mistakes. She forgave easily and loved even more.

Marjorie, you left behind a very quiet and empty space, and already are and always will be sorely missed.

- Noi, Axelle, and the rest of FMoDF Gang (Erika, Joss, Olive, Derek, Chaz)

As I'm sure you can all understand that this was a surprise for us and everyone who was close to Mrajorie, I think we can all say she was an amazing woman who invited me (Bex), Brij and Dion to help and create this wonderful Zine. We do wish to continue this on but we will be pausing this until at least the end of September until we can get our bearings and talk about future plans.

Let me assure you, this tumblr will stay and be available to keep a trace of her, the memories and support she gave everyone in the IF community.

If anyone is willing to help keep this zine and Marjorie's hard work alive please contact us here, COG, or in the comments

Until then RIP Marjorie, you were a shining star gone too soon.

[the-seelie-court-official]

i love seeing terfy shit in magical social groups because it's like. bruh who do you think you are, Dion Fortune? you do realize everyone else is mixing up and playing with those gendered magics, right? like the gendered shit is usually metaphor and one could just as easily label them as like "down/up" "positive/negative" "red/blue" or whatever but we went with "masculine/feminine" for a myriad of complicated reasons im not getting into on this tumblr post but suffice to say it's at least 40% because people are fascinated by sex and their own bodies

'here's this wildly complex and nuanced space, where you are encouraged to take control of your own life and destiny, represented with a single sheet of paper for you to draw on. you can only use the pink crayons because the blue crayons are for our husbands only. green and yellow dont exist' stupid ass

[sophiemariepl]

(This is gonna be just a pure rant, but I need to talk about it somewhere.)

Since Taylor Swift recently had concerts for 3 days in a row in Warsaw, Poland (aka the capital city of my country).

And honestly, I have not thought about it before, but now I would like to say one thing:

I don’t get the phenomenon of Taylor Swift.

And I have some reasons for it.

1) Taylor is a multimillionaire and an extreme polluter of the natural environment. If you don’t get what I’m talking about, just google how often she flies with her jet to her boyfriend’s football matches or into any other events that totally don’t require flying with a goddamn plane to.

2) I would probably even get the hype if she was an extremely talented and original artist. That would not be an excuse to ignore her environmental issues, but yeah.

Meanwhile, she is the most average pop artist I’ve ever listened to. Nothing about her work or persona is special, her lyrics are obvious and bland, and her voice is just flat.

I don’t have anything against average people doing art, you can do whatever makes you happy even if you are not the next Celine Dion or Tina Turner, but - we have to remember that Swift is a multimillionaire who already started her music career as a nepo baby. She has had and still has all the resources to promote herself and her very average art, a chance that many people more talented than her don’t have.

3) she is extremely entitled and totally out of touch with reality (like most of the ultra rich). And I’m not even talking about that cringe moment when she called her music “punk”.

Do you know what accommodation did she require upon her arrival in Warsaw? The goddamn presidential apartment in the Marriott Hotel. The same presidential apartment in which American presidents stay during official state visits in Poland 🤡

So, to summarize, in my opinion Taylor Swift is not only the peak of white, liberal feminism, but a perfect sign of the late capitalism - in which good marketing is enough to promote people and things which are completely undeserving of all this fame. Like, c’mon people, out of all the great female pop artists of our generation, why… her?

I know that Swifties are probably gonna eat me but I needed to write about this somewhere 😭

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friend she can't sing?

So I (F17) am in my school's chorus class. I have been in chorus classes since 1st grade, and I also sing in my church choir and am part of an a capella group. I love singing and plan to go to school in musical theater. And even with all this experience and the skill that comes with it I would just call myself a decent singer. I'm not amazing, I'm not gonna win any awards, but I can more than carry a tune.

In contrast my friend Leah (F17, fake name) just joined chorus class this year and only did it to hang out with me and a couple other friends in the class, and thinks she has amazing talent. She thinks she's gonna be the next Stevie Nicks or Celine Dion. But she sucks. Like, objectively so. I'm not just trying to be mean. A friend in her section told me our teacher has actively told their section (on a day she was out sick) that they need to sing louder than her at our next concert so no one can hear her. While we rehearse for concerts Leah sometimes gets pulled aside for one on one times with the teacher in his office, and she keeps bragging that it's because she's better than everyone else. It isn't. It's because she is really, really bad, and so she needs extra help. Seriously, I can't emphasize enough that she tells everyone she meets she's a professional singer when she can't make it through Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on tune.

Still, she's nice enough outside of this fact and wasn't directly hurting anyone, so I never said anything. Until the auditions for the school play came up. We're doing Grease. I auditioned for Sandy (the lead girl) and so did Leah. I didn't get Sandy, but I got Rizzo. Leah didn't get anything.

Since she found out she didn't get any role at all Leah has been incredibly bitter and mean. She keeps saying how unfair it is, how she's so much better than us, how the teacher knows she's better and is just holding her back because he obviously plays favorites. Still, I tried to ignore her. But then she said that I in particular only got in my a capella group only because I flirt with every guy who looks my way, and I do that because I know I don't have her natural talent.

I admit, this is where I might be TA: I went off on her. I told her she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket and might be able to see that if she got her head out of her own ass a second. I told her everyone in class knew she sucked, and if anything was unfair it was that everyone had to work harder just to cover up for how bad she sounded.

Since I went off on her Leah has been avoiding me in school and blocked me on social media, and I've heard she's telling people what a bitch I am. A few of our friends say I shouldn't have gone off on her like that, and I agree I probably went too far, but I feel at least a little justified?

What are these acronyms?

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

by Dion J. Pierre

“The Chabad Rabbi of UCLA was just physically assaulted live on camera,” said Harvard University student Shabbos Kestenbaum. “The students subsequently began calling him a ‘Zionist pedophile Rabbi,’ telling him to ‘go back to Poland.’ We are in such a dark, dangerous time in our country, with almost no leadership fighting back.”

Others, commenting on the swarming of vice chancellor Beck, suggested that UCLA’s admissions committee potentially selected the students to reward their allegiance to the politics of the far left.

“You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at this UCLA administrator,” said Noah Pollack, a contributor to the Washington Free Beacon. “These are the people he wanted on campus. These are the people his admissions committee selects for. And now he gets to live with them while they threaten and humiliate him.”

Emily Austin, a pro-Israel activist and sports broadcaster, told The Algemeiner in a statement: “These students feel comfortable engaging in what increasingly looks like domestic terrorism because the authorities allow it. They do and say the most abhorrent things knowing there will be no consequences. This is a result of weak leadership, especially in California, where leaders’ failures stretch far beyond the campus.”

The riot at UCLA continues an unprecedented year in higher education in which students emerged in the hundreds and thousands to declare solidarity with Hamas, terrorism, and efforts to destroy Israel, the world’s only Jewish state. Their demonstrations followed Hamas’ atrocities on Oct. 7, when the terrorist organization murdered over 1,200 people, kidnapped more than 250 others, and perpetrated systematic sexual violence during the terrorist group’s invasion of southern Israel.

At UCLA, anti-Zionist protesters have installed their third encampment, the first of which saw them block off entire sections of campus through which they blocked Jewish students from passing. Violence, destruction of property, and open calls for murdering Jews have defined all three demonstrations, revealing what experts have described to The Algemeiner as the complete radicalization of higher education.

[cooki3face]

what will your marriage be like 💍

I’d been thinking about how much humans fight and disagree but the one thing we have in common is the love we share for things around us. For people in our lives. We have wars, we fall into different categories politically, we have different souls purposes, we have different needs, different desires. But most often, what we do share, what we all desire is to love and to be loved. So anyways, here’s the reading for today. I’m working on trying to crimp out two readings a day or within the week.

***

i.

channelled music 🎵:

There Is Something on Your Mind- Big Jay McNeely

Misty- Ella Fitzgerald

At Last- Beyoncé’s cover from the Cadillac record’s soundtrack

I Wonder Why- Dion & The Belmonts

Stormy Weather- Etta James

A Sunday Kind Of Love- Etta James

Channeled locations 📍: Vancouver, New Orleans, San Francisco, New York city, Maine, South Carolina, Seattle

-

I see this being a marriage with someone you knew in the past whom you had a true love with that you may have had to walk away from or put down for a while in the name of growth or internal alignment. Like right person wrong time. Of course that doesn’t exist spiritually because all the time is the right time, divine timing is always right but you know what I mean. I see happiness and genuine joy within this marriage with this person. I see two people celebrating their marriage and their love and what it took to get them there every single day of their lives together like you know that drake song where he says “it might not mean nothing to y’all, but understand nothing was done for me, so I don’t plan on stopping at all, I want this sh*t forever.” The two of you put a lot of work in for yourselves for this connection, this connection was divinely orchestrated. All the pain, all the hardship, all the separation was for the greater good so you guys can grow and have the divine love you wanted.

Everyone’s gonna be looking at the two of you. I see you guys glowing, I see the two of you rising to success in each-others love and in each-others presence. There’s so much self love and confidence between the two of you. It’s giving power couple, it’s giving when two people in a connection are very attractive and have a lot going for themselves. Everyone wants to look at them, everyone wants in on their connection and the love they share, everyone aspires to have that one day. I’m hearing Beyoncé, “so many people that I know, they just tryna touch ya. Kiss up, and rub up, and feel up on ya. Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again I’m gonna kiss up, and rub up, and feel up, kiss up, and rub up and feel up on ya”

I get heavy feminine energy within this group. Some of you are involved with a masculine or this masculine from your past is someone who is very desired or that people will desire even more when you guys come together and wed. This masculine could’ve been someone who clung to romantic/sexual company in his past for some time out of insecurity with me getting something from Beyoncé’s lyrics about getting time to prove she can trust someone again so she can really love on them and I think that’s kind of the energy of this connection. The two of you rising out of karmic cycles and habits and finally growing up and coming out of the storm to be the people you two need for each other and being able to share the most divine love and forgive the past and have peace.

Yea, the king of cups is coming out, this is my favorite masculine in tarot. This is a masculine whose caring and compassionate and loving. Emotionally in tune, in connection with his own inner feminine. He’s the embodiment of a healed water sign masc lover in my opinion. Some of you could want a water sign partner or have water in your own chart and need someone who can appeal to your needs in that way. And this is going to be the relationship, open, caring, gentle, and supportive and this person will be that as well. I see this marriage or this union being a personal celebration for you pile one, maybe even for your significant other as well. You guys have worked so hard and this is your reward or your personal idea of success and fulfillment to be with this person and share a life with eachother.

All the stagnancy, all the pain, will be gone from your lives and from this connection. You guys struggled individually and as a collective and I hear spirit saying that now you deserve someone to be happy and abundant with. This person is gonna be really good in bed as well, their going to keep you over the top satisfied. I see you guys having very passionate and loving s*x lives and maybe even potentially creating a large family together. Like if you’ve ever seen queen Charlotte where she’s telling her kids that her and George created all the many children they had all by themselves without any help. You guys give queen Charlotte and king George vibes. Love is so deep and real and unconditional despite obstacles or obvious flaws within one another. You love eachother through it all. Regardless of it all and that’s all that matters. Go watch queen Charlotte on Netflix if you haven’t man. Ugh. It’s so good.

Yess, this ten of Pentacles upright here speaking of wealth, long term success, and family !!! I see you guys becoming very wealthy together as well, being able to give your children and yourselves good, long, prosperous lives. So beautiful. You and this person may end up having a lot of children together as well. I see you guys getting to work. Someone carries the energy of the empress, or the divine mother here. You could have a cancer moon or some prominent cancer placements in your chart. This person is gonna load you up, keep you pregnant like clock work. Everyone is gonna be tired of y’all like damn do you really need another baby shower this year too.

Overall success and abundance with this ace of pentacles proud and upright. Very good.

***

ii.

channeled music 🎵:

Drunk In Love- Beyoncé

Adorn- Miguel

Tennessee Whiskey - Chris Stapleton

Ooo Baby Baby- Smokey Robinson & the miracles

channeled locations 📍: Texas, Little Rock Arkansas, California, Alabama, Connecticut, North Dakota, New Hampshire, Georgia, Philadelphia, Country sides and suburbs,, Canada

-

You may meet this person at a rough time in your life or at a time where you may have isolated yourself from others or stepped into some sort of hermit mode. This could be after some sort of heart break or some type of significant life experience that causes a lot of insecurity and self limiting beliefs to come to the surface to be purged or be removed. A dark night of the soul or some sort of right of passage towards your ascension with this eight of swords upright speaking of negative thoughts and imposed restriction here. I’m getting this pain or this isolation and hurt may be caused by your spouse or your significant other. But there’s a lot of change and transformation here with the death card upright. Cycles ending. There’s a lot of mixed energy here for this part of the collective. I’m getting some of you may be coming out of rough relationships and being burned repeatedly in love and mistreated and pushed into a path of learning and healing and some of you may end up marrying someone or are married to someone who doesn’t have good intentions towards you and that you may separate from and grow into yourselves because of.

You may have an astrology placements that indicate complications and love and long term relationships. You could potentially get married early and get divorced due to turbulence or general just lack of happiness and harmony within your marriage. But whatever this downfall is or whatever this drama or turbulence is will lead you down the path of releasing limiting self beliefs and embarking on your own personal spiritual journey and path to self love which will bring in a greater love and a true love for you later in life when the time is right here. This person that you’ll find yourself married or committed to in the beginning, some type of truth will come out about them that will lead to this not working out.

But, this new love that blossom and come from your ending in your first connection or marriage will further propel you into soul searching and really finding out who you are and becoming secure in yourself here. This is going to be someone whose going to benefit you, whose going to compliment you and push you to be a better person and continue to heal and improve. You could have similar chart placements as Ariana grande or relate to her love life in some way. She’s known for having somewhat of a turbulent love life or to have issues within her personal relationships.

***

iii.

channeled music 🎵:

Valerie - Amy winehouse

Beggin’ - Maneskin

Hey ya - outkast

Milk - Kings of Leon

Creep - Radiohead

Cherry wine - Hozier

Ho Hey - The Lumineers

channeled locations 📍: Brooklyn, Chicago, San Diego, San Francisco, Colorado, Oregon, St. Helens Oregon, Washington, New York City, Long Beach California

-

I’m getting that some of your are masculine energies, masculine energy dominant or are literally men lol. I keep hearing over and over the opening lyrics to Hey ya by OutKast.

The song Hey Ya is a really chaotic and high energy song we all know that but there’s an artist on TikTok who has a beautiful soft cover of the song and i feel like it really captures the energy I’m getting from these lyrics. Link to her TikTok.

You could marry someone you feel really anxious or worried about your connection with. I hear someone worried about losing their person or losing this person in particular. Many of you will marry someone you know already or someone who plays a massive part in your life or who shaped what love means and what love meant for you. Spirit is telling me that this person and this connection was given to you to to you to test your strength and push you to become the person you were meant to be become all along because this person inspires you to grow and go the extra mile in life.

This person gives you hope, you may feel as though your purpose in life is to love this person because they inspire you so heavily. This person may trigger some sort of spiritual awakening for you or lead you down a journey of self discovery and soul searching as well. I see this person teaching you and allowing you to release your fears and open up your heart. Someone’s heart chakra could be blocked or has been closed off for a long time due to trauma and other issues. This marriage with this person will be full of clear communication, in depth conversations, and clear and healthy boundaries and ideas. This person could create a safe space for you or a safe environment. I see you and this person becoming an example of what a harmonious and healthy relationship is meant to look like. You out of anybody knows what it feels like to be in unhealthy relationships or have a turbulent and draining relationship dynamic with someone I’m hearing and this is not that. This relationship will be a breath of fresh air for you.

I see you being someone who is anxious in energy or is prone to pessimistic ideas or thinking due to your anxiety as well. Like the second something positive happens with this person especially if you know this person already your mind finds a way to push you away from them out of fear of becoming too comfortable or too vulnerable and then leaving you or pulling away from you but I don’t see this with this person with the four of wands upright. This person loves you unconditionally, you can’t lose something that’s unconditionally. That’s gentle and that doesn’t judge you or intend to hurt you the way that people may have in the past.

I’m hearing it took someone a while to come forward and take the leap of faith to pursue this relationship because they couldn’t decide if they were worth this persons love and time or if they were strong enough to handle this person rejecting you or walking away from you because you felt that they would and that they would wake up one day and realize that they don’t want you anymore or feel burdened by you. But I see you looking at this connection when you guys are married and the rough part of the push and pull that you feel in regards to this person blows over and you being proud and abundant because this relationship is long term, steady, and giving.

This person is made for you, your relationship and connection is very divinely protected and orchestrated pile three. And all of this will be revealed to you more and more as years progress within this marriage here. You and this person are incredibly connected on an intuitive and spiritual level you share so much love and compassion for one another as well. You think yourself less than this person or someone who doesn’t deserve this persons love and presence and that’s simply not true. I hear spirit saying if anyone deserves this person, if anyone is made for this person, if anyone deserves a love or connection like this it’s you.

**

That’s it, lol I might take a break from love readings for a moment because the collective is very steady and my readings can often be repetitive but many of people within the collective are about to get married or be in the most divine love within their life. A good amount of the collective is still learning what love means and it may take them a while to find that but otherwise everyone is exactly where they’re meant to be. 💕

[euroquision]

No, Iceland is not up to "dirty political tricks" and neither is Bashar Murad

Hey lovely people, spirits, souls, and ghouls of Tumblr! To those of you who don't follow me on TikTok, there's a video I made just yesterday concerning Iceland (the lil Eurovision Country that Could!), Israel, a certain Irish TikTok-er with impressively horrible media literacy, and our dearest friend Bashar Murad. If you're not on TikTok, that's wonderful and dear god you don't need to subject yourself to that app. Instead, I wanted to make a post that explains what's going on, what's being said, and why one (1) Palestinian is not responsible for the aforementioned "dirty" political tricks.

If you're following Eurovision or just Bashar Murad himself, consider giving this a read.

So let's begin! First: who's calling Bashar Murad/Iceland "dirty"? Where am I getting that word from and why is it in quotes? That's because: it IS a quote! Buck wild, I know. This is a quote from the TikTok account AllThingsAdam.ie, run by the Irish Eurovision...fan? Podcast-haver? Idk, I'm not saying "journalist" because if I wanted to have a laugh, I would just watch the Unicorn edit I made a couple months ago. Did I share that here yet? Just in case, here it is:

Never fails to make me smile. Great edit, Me! Anyway, back on topic: Adam McCallig is a person with a TikTok account that has half a million followers, he has a podcast where he's interviewed Eurovision and NF artists, so he's definitely a "known figure" to a certain point. I can't sit here and say he's some random troll, y'know? So, in a TikTok that has since been deleted from his page, he accuses Iceland of being up to "dirty political Eurovision 2024 tricks." I created a TikTok where I briefly show this video, and here's a link to that! You can watch that for my condensed version of everything I'm talking about here, but this Tumblr post is for those who like reading what I have to say in longer form. Here's that video:

Since Adam's video is now "gone," I will do my best and summarize what he stated with whatever journalistic integrity I have. First: you hear him open the video with the word "dirty." So no one can say I'm putting words in his mouth -- no no, these are lifted from the source material, honey. Next, he goes on to claim that Bashar "has no connection to Iceland whatsoever." As much as Adam wants this to be true, it just...isn't?? Like, let's ignore Bashar's longtime collaborations with HATARI. Instead, let's look at him literally performing on the Songvakeppnin stage in the 2020 NF season:

Additionally, the claim "Bashar has no connection to Iceland" rings very hollow not only when we know this claim is false, but it's not one Adam brings up about the many artists trying to represent a country other than their own in the 2024 NF season. Adam says he "knows that countries can let artists from whatever country represent them," but he hasn't made any videos about Marcus & Martinus (Norwegian) competing in Sweden's National Final. Tali (Israeli-born) is representing Luxembourg this year, and MEGARA (Spanish) are representing San Marino. "Foreign" artists representing any country in ESC is FAR from new, and if it were a punishable offense, Celine Dion would just have to settle for being Canadian.

However, as soon as Bashar Murad takes the stage and the colors of the Palestinian flag are visible, Adam is ready to take to TikTok and say "dirty political tricks" are at play -- before deleting it later, like I mentioned. In fact, not only did he delete it! Mere hours before writing this post, I used my second TT account to peep his page and he posted a video saying "One of these four songs should represent Iceland in Eurovision!" and showed snippets of four songs competing in the Icelandic NF Grand Finale, which takes place on Saturday the 2nd of March. However: there aren't four songs competing to win for Iceland. There's five. Which four did he show? The fours songs that AREN'T Bashar Murad. And yet, he's the one being dirty in all this? Adam, sweetie, the dirty call is coming from inside the dirty house.

Now, you might wonder if Adam has kept this kind of energy when talking about Israel's Eurovision participation, which at time of writing is still very much up in the air. But thing is: he doesn't. At least, not really. Adam has posted a video condemning the alleged song that Israel is trying to submit to Eurovision titled "October Rain." I won't go too deep into that -- please follow @/IsraelBreaksRules on Twitter for more details on this!! But basically, what Adam is attempting to do is play some sort of "political centrist" take on Eurovision, while simultaneously trying to say "Keep politics OUT of Eurovision!!" And at the end of his deleted video, Adam claimed that while "what happened in Gaza is terrible," Iceland is just as guilty for playing political tricks as Israel might be, and Bashar Murad's participation is just as bad.

Two things wrong with that statement, Adam. One: It's not what "happened" in Gaza. It's not past tense. It's on-going. It hasn't stopped. That's actually -- believe it or not -- WHY WE'RE STILL HERE. And two: JUST AS BAD?? REALLY??

If you watched my TikTok response that I shared the link to, you'll have seen the evidence I shared. But I wanna share them again just so you all can clearly see how the "political tricks" at play this year are not on the part of Iceland, nor would they be "just as bad." Where do we begin? Maybe we could begin with the fact that "Wild West," Bashar's song, has been spammed with negative reviews by anti-Palestinian ESC fans. This is mathematically observable when you notice "Wild West" has roughly THREE TIMES as many reviews as the other Icelandic NF songs on EurovisionWorld.com. You can check them out here and see the numbers yourself.

But it doesn't stop at bad reviews. Israeli ESC fans have begun a campaign to mass vote against Bashar, specifically for Hera Bjork, one of the four other competitors in Iceland's final on Saturday. This is really funny to me though because if Bashar doesn't win, it should totally be Sigga Ozk, right? GO TIFFANY!!! Anyway, I digress. A link to an article covering this voting campaign can be found here!

Not only is Bashar facing backlash, hate, and organized efforts AGAINST his participation, Israel is funneling money and resources into Facebook ads that look like this, claiming to shape the narrative:

...as well as filming "comedy" "sketches" like this "song" called...

*deep existential sigh* "Jews Pua" Link to that video here, if you can stand three minutes of awful propaganda containing just the right combination of shitty, easy rhymes and enough pinkwashing to put "Cops at Pride!" to shame. All of this should make it VERY clear to anyone observing this situation as a whole that the political tricks at play are NOT being done equally from everyone involved. Dare I boldly say: this shit is INCREDIBLY ONE-SIDED and we need to remind ourselves of the awful reality that is Israel's access to the money, ability, and audience of their "dirty political tricks" more so than Bashar Murad or Iceland ever could.

Lastly, let's just acknowledge the racism-shaped elephant in the room. Now, I as a white American am not here to play "Racism Police." That will never be the case. What I am about to say applies to the greater conversation, and it's not just an "Adam" problem. It's a problem we see happen when one (1) Palestinian decides to exist and write a song, and the way the world has been built around us conditions us to see that and scream "dirty political trickery afoot!!" Truly, ask yourself is this is "equal" in any way shape or form, as Adam posited. Adam and people like him will treat Iceland and Israel as equal, but that doesn't automatically make them "equal."

We are living in a world where Israel is currently being sued for genocide. That is not an exaggeration, it's just something we can all see and talk about. Israel is a country that has the money, platform, and bias of the most powerful countries of the world to not be held to the same standards of responsibility for the horrible things they're doing, nor is my own country being properly held accountable for PAYING for these things they're doing. Race is something used as a tool to identify oppressed peoples not just because it's discriminatory, but it tells people who aren't part of that group that people like Bashar Murad are simply political just by existing. Nowhere does Adam mention that Bashar and his song "Wild West" are about his journey as an artist having to leave his home and travel thousands of miles to the global "west" to even have a chance of representing Iceland (not Palestine, not Gaza, just Iceland) in Eurovision while the country responsible for the death of his people are facing MUCH less scrutiny from the Eurovision powers that be, let alone Irish TikTok accounts with re: shitty media literacy skills.

My final message to you is this: if you're someone paying attention to Eurovision and you maybe feel confused or overwhelmed by Israel, Iceland, Bashar, etc. etc. etc., here's what I want to tell you:

This is not an equal game. Iceland/Bashar are nowhere near on the same level as Israel and the money/access they have to GLOBAL levels of propaganda. Israel, in fact, verbally confirms how they want to use Eurovision to "shape the narrative" which is far dirtier, far more political than just the song "Wild West." Moreover, thinking that treating Eurovision as apolitical or that EVERYONE deserves the SAME level of EQUAL scrutiny only helps Israel at the end of the day. The things they've done, are doing, and hope to do are representative of tens of thousands of people they've killed in the last few months alone. Would you genuinely look at Bashar Murad trying to represent Iceland and say "Yep, these two things are the same"? My hope is that you wouldn't, but people like Adam clearly do.

Don't be like Adam. Don't play this weak-ass centrism card that ultimately helps no one and just makes it easier for people to shift blame, suspicion, or anger towards Bashar Murad. This is not the fight being had right now, and don't let it waste your time. Focus on what and who matters, which is obviously: the country doing genocide and wants us all to be chill with that.

PS. As a personal recommendation, "Wild West" and "Into the Atmosphere" are my two favs to win for Iceland, so def go gives those a stream. And while you're at it, let Bashar himself take you on a visual journey that might help you understand his message a bit better.

Much love you all. Thank you for being here. EuroQuision out.

[bemyvalentinechallenge]

The Be My Valentine Challenge 2024

An event from @timecanalwayshealyou

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The Be My Valentine Challenge is a challenge for writers, artists, and just any kind of creator, from the first of February to the 14th!

The idea is to create thirteen smaller, lead-up pieces based on the prompts; for example, ficlets/drabbles/one-shots, couplets, small artworks, individual gifs, et. cetera - and finish the challenge with a larger work; a fic, a full poem, a gifset, a big artwork, whatever sparks for you!

They can be a series or separate, and you're free to change mediums or fandoms for different days. If you'd rather create fourteen small works, or all large ones, or a combination of both, that's completely up to you! Prompts can be used after the event, combined, just do whatever! Only "properly" used prompts will be reblogged to this page, however.

The catch; it's all romance prompts, in the spirit of Valentine's Day and because everyone on this site is single and lonely.

Each day has a quote from an iconic or relevant romance film (The Notebook, Red, White and Royal Blue, The Fault In Our Stars, Pride And Prejudice, etc.), an iconic love song, and a romantic cliché, act, or item.

This account will be reblogging a few works (art, drabbles, ficposts, etc.) from the event tag (bemyvalentine2024) each day. Full tagging rules, the transcribed prompt list, and other event details are under the cut. If you're unsure about anything, send in an ask! Happy Creating!

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There will be an ao3 collection open from the first of February to the fourteenth for submission. Artworks, gifsets, etc. posted to tumblr should be tagged appropriately to be seen as part of the event.

The official spotify playlist for the event can be found here.

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Anyone who completes this event is considered a Valentine, and anyone who participates is a Lover. At the end of the event, a form will be put out, so if you wish to be tagged in a masterpost, keep an eye out! I won't be fact-checking, it's an honour system, so please be honest.

There will be completion and participation badges, too! They're in the works as we speak!

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Tagging System:

event tag - #bemyvalentine2024

prompt tag - #bemyvalentineno1, #bemyvalentineno2, etc.

(Or #bemyvalentinealt1, #bemyvalentinealt2, if you use alt promtps)

the theme or specific prompt/s you chose - #love poems, #quote, etc.

fandom or oc - #stranger things, #original content, etc.

any trigger warnings/nsfw tags if needed

and then your own tags!

Only works tagged correctly will be reblogged to this page, so please take note!

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Transcribed Prompt List:

Day 1: "But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for." Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion | Love Poems

Day 2: "I want all of you, forever. You and me. Every day." A Thousand Years, Christina Perri | Growing Old Together

Day 3: "I fell in love with a world through her eyes." Ocean Eyes, Billie Eilish | Love at First Sight

Day 4: "I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you." Marry Me, Train | Wedding Vows

Day 5: "My love will keep me from being a lonely spirit." When I Look At You, Miley Cyrus | Long Distance

Day 6: "People do belong to each other, because that's the only chance that anyone's got for true happiness." Home, Edward Sharpe | First Love

Day 7: "It's so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk." Sweater Weather, The Neighbourhood | Snowed In

Day 8: "I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." Say You Won't Let Go, James Arthur | Love Letter

Day 9: "You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful." Lay Me Down, Sam Smith | Widowed

Day 10: "Hold on, are you writing a song?" I Want To Write You A Song, One Direction | Love Songs

Day 11: "To me, you are perfect." Perfect, Ed Sheeran | Kissing in the Rain

Day 12: "History, huh? Bet we could make some." Love Story, Taylor Swift | Historical Romance

Day 13: "I wish I knew how to quit you." All of Me, John Legend | Making Up

Day 14: "You don't step in love, you fall in. Head over heels." I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston | Valentine's Day

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[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Fireleaf (Part Twenty-Two)

Hiiii! Sorry about the wait on this one — life has been an emotional rollercoaster recently 😬but here’s 22! 23 will be the final chapter 😭 @greeneyedivy our baby is all grown up 😭 Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: SMUTTY SMUT. SWEET, PASSIONATE HOETRY🌶️🌶️

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All seven of the courts had felt the tremor. 

Not a physical thing, but…a shifting of power. A change. 

The High Lord of the Autumn Court had been felled. There would be relief amongst most, and perhaps a feeling of disappointment amongst those who thought the way Beron Vanserra had, who saw the world through the same narrowed eyes.

Azriel would feel nothing but a quiet satisfaction. He wouldn’t waste another thought on the callous bastard.

“So Eris now becomes High Lord.” Cassian scoffed from the chair beside him. “Are all Vanserras not the same? Are we not just losing one viper and replacing it with another?”

Azriel was usually the first to agree, but…his mind flitted back to that courtiers meeting at the Sacred Mountain. How Lucien and Dion’s fiancee had attended on behalf of the Autumn Court. How Y/N had handed Azriel a hand-written note from Eris. 

The High Lord of the Autumn Court is up to something. Destruction is coming. I offer you forewarning in hope of any assistance you can spare. It is time we put aside our troubles in the interest of everyone who might become caught up in my father’s mess. 

Azriel had kept an eye on the Autumn Court since then. Had seen exactly what Beron had been up to. “Eris speaks the truth,” he said.

Cassian snorted. “For once.”

“Beron had begun killing the people of his own court. The power was going to his head. It was only so long before he would start turning on others, also.”

“That doesn’t mean that Eris—”

“Bad and bloody histories aside, Cassian,” Rhysand interjected, “Eris went behind his father’s back to warn us — perhaps to warn other courts, too, for all we know. And then he plunged a knife into his heart. Ended him.”

The Illryian general crossed his broad arms over his chest. “So…what? We’re to trust him now?”

“I didn’t say that.” Rhys shrugged. “But to be a new High Lord is a precarious position to be in. Every other High Lord, every other court, will be sniffing Eris Vanserra out to suss what kind of High Lord he’s going to be. They’ll be looking for vulnerabilities, weaknesses. The transition into power does not come without a target on your back.”

Azriel nodded once. “He’ll be looking for allies. People he can trust.”

“He’ll need help.” Rhysand concurred. “And it is never a bad thing, Cassian, to be needed. Should he have poor intentions, we’ll be the first to know. And if he’s genuine, then, well…perhaps it’ll be a step towards mending the strained relations between our two courts.”

A muscle in Cassian’s jaw ticked; a sure sign of disapproval. “So what you’re saying,” he said, “is that I should start making friendship bracelets?”

“What I’m saying is that Eris Vanserra needs our alliance right now. And perhaps he’s full of shit. Totally possible.” The High Lord sat back. “But perhaps he longs for a better world as much as we do.”

There was no arguing the matter; not under their High Lord’s command. So Cassian stretched his arms over his head and kept his opinions to himself, no matter how badly they wanted to burst from his mouth.

Rhysand’s knowing violet eyes turned to the shadowsinger. “Go to the Autumn Court on behalf of ours, Az.” He said. “Offer the new High Lord our assistance.”

So Azriel did.

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There was an area in the southernmost part of the Autumn Court that even the varying shades of reds and yellows and oranges didn’t touch. 

A cold and empty landscape of beige, broken only by the gargantuan structure that housed Autumn’s most cold-blooded criminals. A fortress made of rare, unbreakable stone and steel, everything about it felt wrong. Sickening and oily. One glance at its domineering facade could have a person turning on their feet and running in the other direction.

Which was precisely what you wished to do.

A warm hand slid across the small of your back. “You don’t have to do this,” Lucien spoke into your ear. “Just say the word, and we’ll go straight back home.”

Gods above, you were tempted. It would be so, so easy to bury your head in the sand and pretend that your father wasn’t somewhere within those walls with answers you so desperately needed. 

But you thought of Eris. Eris had been brave. Eris had faced everything head-on.

So you would, too.

“It’s fine.” You plastered a watery smile on your face. “I’m ready.”

Lucien’s hand enclosed around yours, and together you walked the dreadful path to the looming building. The sentries stationed all around the place took one glimpse at your mate’s Vanserra features, the confidence and authority with which he carried himself, and allowed you to enter. 

If outside was domineering, then inside was…suffocating.

Immediately, it was like having your head shoved underwater. You gulped down as much air as you could whilst you followed a guard down a level, and then another, the scarce light dwindling even more, the walls damp and narrow. This was not forever. You and Lucien would walk out of here.

Your father would not. 

He was being kept in one of the cells of the lower levels; a dark, dingy box with a hard bed and a scratchy blanket. On it sat your father.

And he looked…pathetic. 

Small. Insignificant. Self-pitying. He didn’t notice your approach, at first, curled in on himself as he perched on the edge of that bed. And when he finally looked up, he had the nerve to look relieved to see you.

As though you were here to spare him. To get him out.

“You have a visitor.” The guard droned, unlocking the door. “I’d make the most of it, if I were you.”

Indeed. This was the only time you were stepping into this soulless place.

With a nod to you, the guard stationed himself just beside the door. You were half-tempted to bolt. And you knew Lucien would bolt with you if you did. 

But you gripped hold of his hand and stepped in. 

“You came.” Your father said on an exhaled breath. “It’s good to see you.” 

You pressed yourself back against the furthest wall; as far from him as you could possibly get in the confined space. Lucien remained at your side. “I came for answers.” You announced.

“I know you’ve probably heard a lot of things—”

“I’m going to say this only once, father,” your voice, thankfully, held. It sounded far stronger than you felt. “If you lie to me even once in this conversation…if you try to pass the blame or make yourself out to be the victim…I will tell the new High Lord that he has free reign to dole out whatever punishment he sees fit. It will not be pretty. It will not be merciful. One word from me, and you could end up exactly as Beron Vanserra did.”

Your father stared at you, having the good sense to look worried. It seemed almost as though he was seeing you for the first time; seeing what you had become, with absolutely no help from him. You were strong. You were moral. You were the opposite of what he was. 

But perhaps the hardest thing was that he hadn’t always been this way.

Or maybe he had, and he’d hidden it well. You didn’t know which would be worse.

“Are we clear?” You pushed quietly. “No lies. Only truthful answers.”

Your father dipped his chin. “We’re clear.”

Folding your arms over your chest, you stared him down. You tried to keep the images at bay that so badly wanted to overtake; of you, as a girl, free and worriless, fond of a father who doted on her. Of an adolescent female who was coming into her own, discovering who she was, who she wanted to be, and was supported unconditionally, even when she went against the grain and did the opposite of what was socially acceptable. Of someone who had once thought that no matter what might happen, no matter where she ended up, she would always have her father’s love—

“You sold me to Beron Vanserra.” The words, icy and taut, fell from your mouth.

“No—”

“You sold me to him — sent me straight into his pit — knowing exactly what he was capable of. What the two of you were cooking up together.”

Your father’s mouth tightened. “He swore that no harm would come to you. He gave me his word. Sending you to marry Dion was about ensuring your safety. About getting you away from what we were were doing—”

“It was about,” you snapped, cutting him off, “ensuring that I didn’t discover your dirty little secret and foil your plans. I read the letters you sent to Beron. You were just worried that I would get in the way.”

And gods, that fact hurt far more than you liked to admit. Your father slunk back a little, knowing damn well you saw right through him. 

“People died,” you hissed. “Two females, with families who are now grieving them. A male who toiled day and night in that poor little hamlet, only for Beron to raze it to the ground and take his life. Three people are dead, thanks to the faebane that you sold him.”

“I swear to you, I never knew what he intended to do with the faebane. I was just trying to stop our family going under, losing our reputation.” He stared at you. “You have to believe me.”

You scoffed. The thought of ever believing another word he said was laughable. Lucien was silent at your side, allowing you to speak, to do what you needed to do, but just the warm press of his arm against yours was enough. A comfort. 

“You must not know me at all, father,” you gritted your teeth, “because if you did, you would know that I would rather be poor, and destitute, and hungry, than have all the money in the world to abuse people with.”

He stared back at you, realisation slowly passing his face…that you meant it. That you were not like him. That social standing had never mattered. For you, it had been about family, about love. Always.

And you’d found those very things someplace else. Found them stronger, realer.

“I don’t know what to say to you,” your father’s voice was low, pathetic, “other than that I’m sorry.”

“Do you think sorry is going to cut it?”

The words came from Lucien, not you. You looked to your mate to find him staring at your father, his face a sheet of pure wrath and hatred. His teeth were gritted; a sure sign he was reining himself in, for your benefit only.

“Of course not—”

“Do you think,” Lucien seethed, “that you can apologise away the act of handing your daughter over to a male who has a reputation for his disregard, his hatred, for females? Do you think you can excuse it with pathetic stories about wanting to keep the family reputation intact? When everybody sees right through you — sees that it was about money, and nothing more?”

Your heart swelled in your chest at the mere tone of his voice, let alone his words. He was as passionate about this as you were, as cuttingly angry. You swept your thumb over the back of his palm in silent thanks.

“I do not claim to be perfect.” Your father levelled. “But you will understand, one day, when you have children of your own—”

“When I have children of my own,” Lucien snapped, “a daughter of my own. I will think back to you. I will think about how pathetic, how cowardly you are, and I will hold her tighter than you ever held Y/N, and protect her from so much as a threat of harm. Just as you failed to do. My daughter will never have to look me in the face and ask why money and reputation was more important to me than she ever was.”

The words lingered in the air, heavy and steeled and true. You thought you might bowl over from the impact of them. The impassioned tone of his voice.

Gods, you loved this male. You’d known you were lucky to have him, but—

It hit you only then — the simple luxury of finding a male to love you, who was the complete opposite of the one that had raised you.

“I decided,” you spoke, staring your father in the eye, “that I would come here today, and look at you, and know whether or not I would ever be able to forgive you. I know, now, that I won’t. Ever. The things you’ve done—”

“It’s not like you haven’t benefited from my plan,” your father cut in. He glanced at Lucien. “I sent you to the Vanserra Estate — and you found your mate there. Congratulations.”

You stilled. 

For a moment, you were lost for words. At the sheer arrogance of his tone, the suggestion that you should be grateful in some way. Lucien growled quietly at your side. 

And then you let the words wash over you. You straightened your shoulders. “There is no point to me being here. Talking to you.” You said. “Just tell me one thing. Did mother know what you were doing?”

Your father silently stared at you. He didn’t need to breathe a word for the truth to sink in. Yes, she had known. Yes, she had been just as willing a participant as he was.

That was all you needed, to fully close the door on the life you’d once had. 

They may have raised you, yes. But they had been just as willing to endanger you. 

And when this cell door closed behind you, and you walked out of the harrowing depths of the Autumn Court prison, it would be a symbolic thing; a gesture of walking away from the family you’d once known, and towards the one you wanted to know.

“Enjoy yourself, rotting down here.” Was the last thing you offered. You stepped towards the door, pulling Lucien with you, and paused to glance over your shoulder. “I hope you get what’s coming to you. Just like Beron did.”

And then you strolled out of there, desperate for fresh air.

And you didn’t feel one kernel of regret over your words.

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Lucien winnowed the both of you to the trees limning the Roselands Estate. The place had been a hub of activity in the days that had passed since Beron had been taken down, and though the residence was still considerably sized, there was an intimate, familial feeling to being under the same roof as the people you’d faced such horrors with. There was safety in going to bed with Lucien at night, and knowing that you need only traverse the hallways to reach Dion and Willow, or Eris and Linden, or Catrin. Even Tamlin had stuck around. You thought you might miss it, once the huge manor was rebuilt.

You stepped towards the path that wended through rose bushes, right up to the front door — but Lucien tugged you to a stop. Spun you around to face him.

“What is it?” You stared up at him, trying to read what was in his eyes. 

“I’m just…in awe of you.” He studied your face. “So proud.” 

Your throat bobbed. “Those words you said—”

“I’m sorry. I know that it was about you going in there to face your father, but my anger got the better of me. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut—”

You pushed up onto the tips of your toes, swallowing his words as you slanted your lips over his. He would never, ever need to apologise for supporting you. For being at your side.

His breath seemed to hitch in his throat — a common reaction, you’d found, that he had when you kissed him. You smiled against his lips, tucking his braid behind his ear. 

“I love you.” You said. “And when we have some privacy, I’m going to show you exactly how it made me feel when you said what you said.”

His eyes flashed, heating like dark, melted chocolate. But it was with utter tenderness that he pulled your hand from where it still lingered in the strands of his hair and raised it to his lips, kissing your palm. 

“My fireling.” He murmured. “You are—”

“Are you two going to stand out there gazing at each other all day?” A deep, accented voice barked from the front door. “We have a visitor.”

You glanced over to find Linden leaning against the doorframe, a mischievous grin on his lips. You scowled at him as you tugged Lucien with you. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to see you making those goo-goo eyes at each other.” Your friend turned on his feet, leading you into the house. “Come. We’re about to eat.”

You met Lucien’s eyes as the two of you trailed after him. A visitor; it had unexpected anticipation roiling inside you. You supposed you’d spent the last five days of recovery in somewhat of a bubble — one of safety. Going to visit your father at the prison had drained your social energy reserves for one day. But there was, indeed, a vaguely familiar scent snaking through the halls. One that reminded you of frosty nights and cedarwood—

Linden strolled into the dining room, and you stopped at the threshold, a smile pulling at your lips. 

Azriel shadowsinger, spymaster of the Night Court, in all his winged, night-veiled glory, glanced up upon your arrival and took in the sight of you and Lucien — your joined hands.

“Good to see you again, lady.” He greeted you, and then looked markedly at Lucien. “I see you finally made your move.”

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“It was so kind of you — to offer your aid.” 

Across the table, the shadowsinger met Catrin’s warm, kind eyes. He dipped his chin at her gratitude. “I come with well wishes from the Night Court, lady.” 

“You’re the first to offer any sort of help.” Eris took a long draw of his wine. He looked…tired. Better, undoubtedly, but every day since Beron’s death had been full to the brim. No room to breathe. “I assure you, it’s even more appreciated, given our…terse history.”

You could have sworn, at that, there was the slightest stilling and stiffening of Azriel’s body. But his face gave away nothing. You subtly shot Lucien a glance, only for him to vaguely shake his head at you. Tell you later, the gesture promised.

“Whilst there has surely been bad blood on both sides,” Azriel offered quietly, “I come here with entirely genuine intentions. With kind regards on behalf of the Night Court. Rhysand remembers what the transition to High Lord was like, and given that your letter to me hinted that you are interested in a lot less blood being spilled…we agree that it’s wise to put aside our conflicts in the name of bettering the world.”

“Well,” Eris poured himself another glass of wine, “with my father gone, that’s one less ruthless bastard to worry about.” 

A heavy silence — filled with unspoken agreement — snaked around the table. No one had broached the topic of Beron as of yet — no one had had the nerve to, nor had they wanted to ruin the bliss of just…knowing he was no longer there to terrorise any of you. But with his name hanging in the air between you, it was hard to ignore. 

“What of your brothers?” Azriel asked. “Jareth and Rian, is it? What course of action do you plan to take with them? Bear in mind that how you choose to punish them for their involvement in your father’s schemes will determine how people perceive you as High Lord.” 

Across from you, Catrin’s gaze lowered to the table. You knew this was the hardest part for her; they were still her sons, when all was said and done. And though she knew of what they’d done…the havoc they’d wreaked…it was still painfully hard to consider what the consequences of those actions might be.

“I haven’t entirely decided.” Eris admitted. “Perhaps you can aid me in coming to a decision, Azriel. I either lock them both up — like I have with Y/N’s father — or have them exiled, never to return. In a way, their crimes are worse than those Jesper committed. He may well have sold the faebane to my father, but Jareth and Rian set the fires that those two females perished in. Perhaps death isn’t too harsh a punishment.”

“Eris.” Catrin softly warned. Her eyes fell to his wine glass — one that you all knew had been refilled a good few times, now. “Now isn’t a good time to think about this.”

Indeed, it was one of many matters that Eris had to face. You didn’t envy him one bit. He lowered his gaze to his plate without a word; you could have sworn that beside him, Linden’s hand moved beneath the table to rest on his thigh. 

You cleared your throat, sitting up. “It’s been only five days since…everything happened. This is bound to be a period of adjustment. Focus on yourself first, Eris. Jareth and Rian and my father are all detained. You can mete out justice when things are a bit more…settled.”

Eris met your gaze, pure gratitude shining in his own. Sometimes it took someone saying the words for him to realise it was okay to think them. 

“Y/N is right.” Azriel nodded. “It’s not as though they can harm anyone else. Face everything else first. Show your courtiers, your people, that you can handle this. Show them a unified front.”

Eris inclined his chin. “How long can we expect you here for?”

“As long as you need.” Azriel answered. “Although, you undoubtedly have a good support system around you. I have no doubt that you’ll be just fine.”

The two males stared at each other, the fleeting moment seeming strangely…intimate. Whatever had transpired between them in the past, whatever had caused that bad blood…perhaps it truly was time for it to come to an end.

For whatever reason, Azriel’s words seem to mean something to Eris. He appeared touched, as though the sentiment coming from the spymaster’s mouth meant a lot more to him than anyone realised. His shoulders seemed to loosen slightly, and he sat up straighter.

“It’s greatly appreciated.” Eris said. “I look forward to working with you.”

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Days passed by in a blur. 

Azriel had kept to his word, and his presence every day had been more of a help than Eris had initially anticipated. It meant something…to have the shadowsinger offer thoughts and opinions, advice and constructive criticism. To help the new High Lord of the Autumn Court to get stuff done. 

And at the end of every one of those days, Eris was absolutely exhausted. And yet — too wired to sleep.

It had become a common occurrence for him to sit up well into the late hours, watching the moon cast shadows across the garden as his thoughts pelted him relentlessly. Sometimes ones of a self-doubting nature. Others of just…pure worry. That the worst wasn’t over, and his loved ones were still at risk. Sometimes certain thoughts had him swearing that he could smell Beron’s blood still staining the air. Sometimes he swore he could see it on his hands—

His eyes shuttered as he pulled his knees into his chest, perched on the windowsill that he’d taken a particular liking to. There was no use thinking about these things; Beron was dead and gone. Everyone was safe. Peace would be restored once more.

Just an adjustment period, he reminded himself. It’s just an adjustment period.

Eris reached for the decanter of wine that sat on the nearby writing table — and paused, his hand hovering mid-air, as a soft rap fell on the door.

He debated simply ignoring the knock. It was well past two o’clock in the morning, by now, and he was sure a more urgent matter would warrant a lounder, stronger pounding on the wood. But when the sound was repeated, he sighed softly and pushed to his feet. 

He pulled the door open to find Linden stood at the other side — in all his half-naked glory. A loose pair of trousers barely clinging to his hips was the only item of clothing that covered him.

Eris tried not to stare. And failed. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, searching for the answer on Linden’s face. 

“You tell me.” Linden replied, his lips twitching. “I can hear you brooding from down the hall.”

“I am not brooding.”

“You’ve sighed about seventy-four times in the last five minutes.”

The redhead’s eyebrows flicked up. “You could try going to sleep. Then you wouldn’t hear my sighs.”

“I quite enjoyed your sighs that night in the forest.”

The two males stared at each other, challenge sparking between them. Neither had bothered to seek the other out past bedtime; too much was going on, too many things to think about. And Eris would be lying if he proclaimed not to have considered crossing the hall to Linden’s room when sleep evaded him, but…they didn’t really know each other. Even if it felt like they did. 

Linden tapped his knuckles against the doorframe. “Aren’t you going to let me in?”

For a split second, Eris merely…studied him. And then he was stepping aside, allowing Linden to trail into the room, his scent hitting him as he strolled past. Eris’s eyes shuttered. That damned scent; it took him right back to the feeling of Linden’s head bowed between his legs, his tongue working on him—

“So this is where you sleep.” Linden hummed. “Or rather — don’t sleep.”

“If I’m keeping you awake, I can have you moved to another room—”

“I don’t want to move to another room. I want to know why you don’t come to mine when you’re in need of comfort.”

Eris stared at him, wondering what the appropriate response was. Part of him wanted to argue — to defensively insist that he wasn’t in need of comfort; though that would be a lie. Or perhaps brutal honesty was the way to go; we had that thing in the forest, but I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything…

Complicated. This was complicated. With females, he’d be an expert flirt, a skilled lover, and so silver-tongued in breaking hearts that they never seemed to realise that he’d given them the brush-off until he was far, far away.

But with Linden, it was…different. He found himself turning his words over in his head, not wanting to say the wrong thing, to make a fool of himself—

“I didn’t want to assume that you were offering up your counsel. I know that you came here for Y/N, and that what happened between us that night was very heat of the moment, but I don’t…expect anything from you.”

Did that sound dismissive? Gods, he hoped not. He balled his fists at his sides, wondering if it’d be more pathetic to take the words back or just run with them.

But then Linden was stepping up to him. Studying him closely. The teasing in his eyes had been replaced by tenderness. 

“I like you, Eris Vanserra,” He hummed, and his accent wrapping around his name almost brought Eris to his knees. “I came here for Y/N’s sake, yes. But I’m staying here as much for yours as I am for hers.”

Eris lowered his eyes to the floor. “You don’t have to—”

His words cut off as Linden brushed a strand of hair from his face. Leant down. Coasted his lips against his. “Shh.” He whispered. “I don’t expect anything from you, either, if there’s nothing you wish to give. But I wish to give you my comfort — which I think you need right now. If you’ll let me.”

Eris met his gaze again. He knew and understood nothing but what he wanted as he gave a nod. 

“Tell me what you want.” Linden murmured. “And you can have it.”

“...could you just—hold me?”

The intense tenderness with which Linden beheld him was almost too much — something Eris was entirely unused to. But before he could buckle and burn under his gaze, Linden’s lips were at his again. 

The kiss was soft. Gentle. Brief. And just as Eris readied himself to lean into it, Linden pulled away, grabbing his hand. He laced their fingers together.

“Come.” The brilliant male murmured. “You need to sleep.”

And Eris couldn’t deny that. It was why he had no objections as Linden guided him over to the bed, lying himself down first, and then pulling Eris down beside him.

Eris was by no means a short male. His legs were long, slender but muscled. But Linden was far bigger, and the size difference was almost comical. Eris felt strangely small as Linden tugged him back, pressing his back to his front.

He snaked one arm under him, the other over him, and laced their fingers together. And the scrape of his calluses…the warmth…the feeling of Linden’s breath hitting the back of his neck and stirring the strands of his hair…it had Eris’s eyes growing heavy in no time.

“Sleep.” Linden whispered, brushing his thumb over the back of Eris’s palm. 

Eris was out cold before he could even think of a response.

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Time was an exquisite healer — for everyone. And there was something so quietly beautiful about healing together. 

It bonded you all in a way that you knew was unbreakable. You were a family, and even as small drops of normality began to seep back in, your unit remained strong. 

Weeks passed of Eris becoming acclimated to being High Lord, and those initial days of fragility seemed to be a distant memory. He was stepping into the role gradually — with the help of Azriel and Tamlin — and had begun to publicly attend to duties here and there. To name himself as the High Lord of the Autumn Court. And when Azriel and Tamlin eventually announced their departure, you all knew — Eris was ready to do this on his own.

You were all still at Roselands; you and Lucien, Dion and Willow, Eris and Linden and Catrin. But the rebuilding of the manor was coming along swimmingly, and you’d each visited here and there to watch bits and pieces of what felt like a symbolic thing; not only the rebuilding of a home, but of a life, too. 

The days were long and busy, all of you pitching in to establish a new era for the Autumn Court. 

But today — today was about relaxing. 

The sun was shining; one of the rare warm days that the Court sometimes experienced. And with it came a general feeling of positivity. It wasn’t hard for you all to agree to have the day off from official business and just…enjoy yourselves. And you’d done exactly that, spending most of the day basking in the sun, swimming in the lake, walking through the garden. It felt like a holiday; a blissful break from reality.

With the sun still shining into the evening, it was decided that you’d dine together outside amongst the fruit trees and the lingering day’s warmth. Linden — an exquisite cook — had put on a spread fit for a king, and it was over steaming, aromatic dishes and sweating pewter jugs of wine that you sunk happily into a family meal, conversation and laughter a constant presence around the table. 

“So I was understandably put out by how rude he was being,” you laughed, taking a sip of your wine as you told the whole story of yours and Lucien’s journey, “and I said to him, you don’t even know me. And do you know what he said? Let’s keep it that way. My first night there. I wanted to punch him.”

You were met with a chorus of laughter, Lucien chuckling beside you and leaning down to kiss your cheek. “I’m sorry, my love.” 

Rather comically, Catrin gaped at him. “That was so rude of you. I taught you better than that.”

“I know, I know.” Your mate held up his hands. “What can I say? I was drawn to Y/N from the second I glimpsed her punching a tree, and it terrified me.”

You grinned up at him, squeezing his leg beneath the table. Across from you, Dion smiled at the two of you fondly. 

“You both deserve your happy ending.” He said, his hand absentmindedly playing with Willow’s hair. “We all do.”

“Speaking of which,” Eris sat forward, fixing his gaze on you, on Lucien. “I think the two of you should take a break. Go somewhere nice together. Relax, or even travel if you want to. Just…enjoy each other’s company for a few weeks. The gods know, you’ve earned it.”

You blinked at him. “There’s still so much to be done—”

“You’ve done enough.” Eris smiled. “We can manage. You haven’t had a chance to just…enjoy your bond, yet. So take a small vacation. Relax. Enjoy the beginning of the rest of your lives. If I have to make it an order, I will.”

Beside you, Lucien dipped his chin. “We appreciate it, brother, really. But — what if you need us nearby? Granted, we could winnow back, but with everything so new—”

“You could go to Dayview.” Catrin cut in — so abruptly that you all turned to look at her. She studied you fondly. “Dayview Cottage. It’s not far from here, and it’s not like it’s being used…”

Something tugged at your heart. That place was personal to her, had sat untouched with the ghosts of her past for years — and yet she was offering it up for you and Lucien.

“…that’s so kind of you,” you said gently. “But we wouldn’t want to impose.”

You could only assume that the others knew of Dayview’s existence — but not its history. They stared between you and Catrin curiously.

“It would mean a lot to me, actually.” She said, her cheeks pinkening slightly. “You know…for it to be used again. And for such a wonderful thing.”

Lucien leaned down, kissing your head. You could see the mark of respect in his and his brothers’ eyes; that they knew there was more to the story, but it was their mother’s to tell, if she ever wanted to.

“We’d love to go there.” Lucien told her, his voice gentle. “Thank you.”

You nodded in agreement, not trusting your voice to hold if you spoke your gratitude. Thankfully, Eris was speaking before you had to.

“That’s settled, then. Y/N and Lucien are taking a break away from here,” he said, and added with a wink, “and that’s an order — as your High Lord.”

Just like that, the heavy, emotionally-charged moment was swept away with more laughter. Linden rolled his eyes fondly at Eris. “You and your orders.”

Eris smirked back at him. “Don’t act like you don’t like it.”

The two of them had been pretty open, these past weeks, with whatever this thing was that existed between them. Nobody spoke of it. It was just…part of what you all were, now. Perhaps another happy ending. 

And they were also expertly good at getting into flirtatious, verbal sparring matches that nobody, for the life of them, could break up. They seemed to be on the cusp of another one of those, challenge sparking in Linden’s eyes — but it was as he leaned closer to Eris that a flash of light in your periphery stopped you all in your tracks.

Bright, white light, so vibrant it had you squinting and shielding your eyes with your hands. Like a starburst, a beacon of brilliant daylight, like the sun itself had stepped into the garden—

And in its wake, as the light eddied away…a figure.

You should have known who he was from the first glance.

If the fashion of loose, white fabric hanging from his muscled body wasn’t indication enough, or the flowing locks of hair and dark skin and a spiked crown of what looked to be sun rays, then Catrin’s face surely should have told you.

She had gone white as a sheet. Her lips parted, her eyes wide. Her wine-red hair against her pale skin looked like blood on snow. For a moment, it didn’t look like she was breathing.

Every single one of you seemed to be staring between the two of them as they gazed at each other. And after what felt like an eternity of terse, weighty silence, Eris pushed out of his chair, clearing his throat.

“Helion Spell-Cleaver.” He acknowledged, bowing his head. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

And Helion didn’t look away — not once — from Catrin, as he croaked out, “I should have come a long time ago.”

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The tension did die down…a little.

Enough for Helion to join you all at the table and accept a glass of wine. But what had felt like a warm gathering before was now somewhat…crowded. Like you were imposing on something you should have no part in.

“I appreciate your visit.” Eris told him; even if you all knew — Eris himself included — that he wasn’t here for him. He was being…diplomatic. Holding the conversation while Catrin gathered her thoughts. “You’re welcome here, of course. Please…help yourself to food.”

Helion cleared his throat, bowing his head in thanks. “I went to the manor first. I knew it had burned down, of course, but…I was informed I could find you here.”

Could find you here. His eyes had been on Catrin as he’d said that. Her cheeks flushed.

“Another estate of ours.” Eris explained with a nod. “It’s where we’ve been staying while the manor is being rebuilt.” 

You were barely aware of Helion’s response, as you stared and stared. Like puzzle pieces suddenly slotting into place, it became clear to you in an instant. 

A male she had loved.

A male who had gifted her a cottage, for them to meet in. Dayview Cottage. Undoubtedly from the High Lord of Day. 

Helion — the Helion Spell-Cleaver — was the true love from her tale. Had seemingly come back for her.

And perhaps more pressing…

You studied the High Lord of the Day Court as he answered Eris’s questions, one eye always seeming to be on Catrin. Studied the straight nose, the cut of his jaw. How familiar those features were. Ones you stared at every day.

In Lucien’s face.

Lucien, whose golden skin had always been a few shades darker than that of his brothers’. Lucien, who had never resembled Beron at all — or even Catrin, really, aside from the hair.

Lucien, your mate…who you were sure was the son of Helion Spell-Cleaver.

You swallowed, pushing the thoughts from your brain. Whatever the truth was…it was Catrin’s to tell. You couldn’t involve yourself.

Right now, she needed to speak to Helion. Alone.

Clearing your throat loudly, you sat up. “How about we play some games?” Your eyes bounced around Dion and Willow, Linden and Eris. Very pointedly.

Eris stared back at you. And then seemed to realise. What the extent of the males’ knowledge was of their mother’s history, you had no clue. But the three of them were, at least, aware enough to realise that Catrin had some things to face.

“We’ll be inside, should you want to join us.” You followed them in pushing to your feet, sending the High Lord of Day a warm smile. “It’s lovely to meet you.”

Helion dipped his chin — to you, and to the others. “And you.”

Lucien was just…staring. At his mother, at Helion, an unreadable expression on his face. You wrapped a warm hand around his and squeezed. The truth would one day all rise to the surface, whatever it may be, but…not now. You’d all faced enough upheaval for now.

“Come,” you said softly, and Lucien finally followed. Not without one last look over his shoulder at the ancient love that was now evident at that table, filling the garden with its presence. You wondered what he saw as he looked at them.

“I’ve…never seen her look like that before.” He seemed to answer your thoughts, his thumb brushing the back of your palm.

“Like what?” You asked.

“Like she feels safe.”

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You fell asleep, that night, to the sounds of Catrin’s and Helion’s voices in the garden, mingling well into the late hours.

And you thought that perhaps the world was truly healing — one good heart at a time.

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There was no other feeling like you and your mate being entirely in a world of your own.

The magic that encased Dayview Cottage made it blissfully private, and within just a day of being there, you knew you could happily stay there forever.

It was far smaller and more intimate than Roselands; more akin to the gamekeeper’s cottage. No one besides you and Lucien for miles and miles. If you needed anything, you need only speak it aloud, and the cottage’s magic would summon it. 

Bad memories were distant. Unimportant.

The first day was about rest. It seemed that exhaustion, physical and mental, had finally caught up to the both of you; unsurprising, really, given that the recent months of your lives had been nothing but constant chaos and drama. You and Lucien had arrived at the cottage, and there’d been nothing more luxurious than collapsing into the huge, fresh-smelling bed — the afternoon sun shining outside — and just…falling asleep together. 

You awoke hours later to Lucien’s warm, attentive gaze on you, his fingers indolently playing with the strands of your hair. You’d merely leaned up to brush your lips against his cheek.

“This is where they came together, isn’t it?” He’d said, his voice rough with sleep. You knew who he was talking about. “Dayview Cottage.”

You’d reached out, smoothing the lines of deep thought from his face. His eyes had shuttered at your touch. “It is.”

It was a while before he spoke again. Before he’d finished luxuriating in the gentle coasting of your fingertips against his skin. But when he did, it was a quiet sentiment that you echoed in your heart and soul.

“I hope they come here again.”

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The second day, with your energy restored a little, was about exploring. 

You and Lucien spent the entire morning discovering the beauty of the nature that stretched around you, wandering through the forest until you came to a lake, the shore of which you sat and ate at together, a picnic of fruits and cheeses and juice. You swam naked together, bathed in the sun together, talked for hours and hours and caught up on all the things you simply hadn’t gotten to know about each other, given how volatile your journey had been up until now.

It was bliss. And it almost brought a tear to your eye to think that the rest of your life could be — would be — like this, but—

But Lucien didn’t touch you, beyond the handholding, the absentminded caresses, the lazy kisses. Even as clear hunger and heat had flashed in his eyes as he’d watched you towel your naked body off — and you’d watched the way it very clearly affected him — he’d pulled you down beside him and simply tucked you into his side. And later that night, your walking and swimming and the day’s warmth had coaxed you to sleep before you could question it.

And it wasn’t that you hadn’t found pleasure in each other in the recent weeks, since everything had happened. There had been a few nights where you’d managed to stay awake long enough to come together and find your releases. But the days were so packed-full with helping Eris become acclimated to his new role, with going back and forth with correspondence and helping the new manor be built, that you rarely had the energy to do much more than hold hands as you fell asleep.

It was on that third morning, over breakfast, that you finally roused the courage.

“Can I ask you something?” You said, watching as Lucien took a seat opposite you.

He paused curiously. “Anything, my love.”

“…is there a reason we haven’t…I mean…do you not want to…”

“Want to what?”

“Have sex.” Your cheeks flushed; not out of any embarrassment about the subject, but…it just seemed ludicrous, given all that you’d done with each other’s bodies before.

But again, Lucien paused — and blinked at you. Pure surprise crossed his face, as though the idea hadn’t even dawned on him. “Is that what you think? That I don’t want to?”

You shrugged slowly, wishing you could take the words back. Realising, now, how silly they seemed. “I don’t know…we’ve been here a few days, now, and there have been moments where we’ve come close, but just…haven’t.”

“I want to bury myself inside you so badly that I keep feeling like I’m going to burst out of my skin.”

It was your turn to pause, then. “…Oh.”

Lucien’s eyes were fierce as they met yours. Heated. “I keep thinking about tasting you, and touching you, and fucking you hard enough to turn this place to rubble. So much that it’s sometimes hard to concentrate on anything else.”

Your mouth turned dry, wetness pooling between your legs. The mere filth of his words was enough to make you consider clearing this table with a swipe of your arm and crawling over to him.

You swallowed hard. “Then why haven’t you?”

And that heated, sinful darkness in his gaze immediately lightened and softened. He stared at you, offering his hand across the table. “I want it to be on your terms, Y/N. After everything…my father attacking you…I want you to decide when and where and how we do it. I’ll follow your lead.”

You quite possibly could have melted in your seat. So tender, this male — caring and loving. Your mate. Beron’s attack may not have gone beyond bruising and a damn deep head wound, but he’d still had his hands all over you. Had still violated you. 

Lucien just wanted to make sure you were ready to put that behind you, before you allowed yourself to be touched again. 

Gods, you loved him.

And gods, you were ready.

“You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met, you know.” You said. “My mate.”

His throat bobbed. “As are you.” His hand squeezed yours. “…How much do you know…about how the mating bond works?”

You chewed, tilting your head. “Not much,” you admitted. “My parents weren’t mated. I’ve heard and read different things. I know of the tradition where the female offers the male food.”

Something you hadn’t done yet — and something you absolutely planned to do. It hadn’t mattered to either of you that you technically had not officially accepted the bond yet. You were mates, in love, and you’d planned to do so when the time was right. When it was just the two of you.

Lucien nodded. “The offering of food is symbolic of an official acceptance of the bond. And when it’s accepted, it triggers a kind of…frenzy, I suppose.”

Your lips twitched. “As in…for a while, we’re not going to be able to think about much else than fucking each other senseless.”

He chuckled deeply. “Precisely.” His smile sobered a bit. “But I don’t expect it of you, you know. If you’re not ready for any of the official stuff, it makes no difference to me. We have the rest of our lives to make it official. And to fuck each other senseless.”

You did — an entire lifetime for it. But you were impatient, and hungry for your mate. You didn’t want to wait.

And you knew that probably showed in your eyes as you met his gaze.

You lifted just slightly out of your seat. Just enough to grasp the table and lean across it, your lips brushing against Lucien’s. He tried to capture you in a kiss, but you grinned at him, pinning a hand over his mouth.

“I’m going to cook for you tonight.” You said.

The promise behind the words was enough to make him shudder.

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Linden had taught you to cook years ago.

It was something you greatly enjoyed, but also something you unfortunately didn’t get to do often. Having always been surrounded by servants and staff and cooks, food was simply served to you. Something you rarely got to put much thought or care into.

But Linden — Linden had left his home and his family at such a young age that he’d had no choice but to become self-sufficient. And when you’d first taken a bite of a meal he’d cooked for you, you’d wolfed it down — and asked him to teach you how to do it.

You were thankful for that teaching, now, as delicious aromas filled the cottage. 

You’d barred Lucien from the kitchen, and it was through the window, whilst you cooked, that you watched him relaxing in the evening sunlight, lazily strumming his lute as the golden rays made his hair glint. You couldn’t stop your eyes snagging on his fingers, the expert way that they moved—

You shook your thoughts off. It was hard to concentrate — knowing how tonight would end. 

This was important. This was symbolic. You were Lucien’s, and he was yours — forever.

You put everything into that meal. Every emotion that had built up from the moment you’d stumbled upon Lucien Vanserra reading poems and sonnets beneath a tree. Every subtle glance and touch, every late-night thought. Every moment you’d wondered what he was doing, where he was — and then wondered why you cared so much. 

That first kiss at the masquerade ball. That first joining of your bodies in the gamekeeper’s cottage. When he’d gone after you on the hunt and found you a crying, shuddering mess, and he’d stayed with you in that cave. That night of the courtier’s meeting, when he’d become so blinded by jealousy that he’d taken you, mind and body and soul, until you’d forgotten that Azriel even existed. When he’d sat beside you in the forest and allowed you to cry, and had kissed your head — a rare tender moment, amongst all the passion. All those times he’d played with your braid, letting it fall between his fingers. When he’d finished a companionship with Tansy that had gone on for years, because he couldn’t bear to think of anyone but you. When he’d told you he was in love with you. When he’d decided to fight for you — for both of you.

Months and months and months of love and lust and heartache and longing and passion. You poured every bit of it into that meal. Your journey together.

Your mate. Your great, brilliant, kind mate. There would never be anybody but him. 

You plated up the food, brushed yourself down, and took a deep breath. Lucien looked up, his fingers stilling on the lute as you opened the door.

“It’s ready,” you said. And held out a hand.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Your eyes tracked it all. Every. Last. Bite.

And even though the tradition was an ancient one, merely symbolic, you could have sworn that the air around the two of you changed. Like the bond was strengthening. Truly fusing your souls together, once and for all.

Lucien swallowed his last mouthful, setting his cutlery down. His eyes lifted to yours.

You could only focus on his mouth. That full, sensuous mouth. You wanted to kiss it, to feel it on your skin—

“How was it.” Your question was blunt, gravelly, a distant thought. His opinion of your food didn’t really matter to you right now; what mattered was him. All of him.

“Delicious.” He reached for his wine, and the mere movement had your chest heaving, your eyes watching his fingers wrap around the glass. He lifted it to his lips, draining the liquid. A few drops lingered on his mouth, painting it red.

You were going to fucking devour him.

“If you look at me like that,” he rasped, swallowing, “this will be over before it’s really begun.”

You met his gaze. Shuddered at the intensity there. “You are my mate.”

“Yes.”

“I am yours.”

“Always.”

Your legs shook as you rose from your seat. “Forever.”

That single word was what did it. What absolutely decimated the frail cord of restraint that was keeping Lucien controlled, civilised. 

An animalistic growl ripped from deep within his chest, and he was out of his chair and in front of you in seconds. 

You barely had a chance to draw breath as he hoisted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. And he was holding you, his lips slanting over yours in a hard, desperate kiss. 

You kissed him back feverishly, your arms snaking around his neck, your fingers twining within his hair. You could kiss him forever. Lose yourself in his lips, his taste—

“Mine.” The word slipped between your lips without any guidance from you. A rough, carnal claiming. You nipped Lucien’s lip, swallowing his grunt. “You’re mine.”

“Always.” He promised again, pulling you tighter against him. “I’m all yours.”

It was a wonder you didn’t climax from the declaration itself — the way it wracked through your body like a physical touch. You shuddered, rolling your hips against him, feeling his hard cock push up against the clothed centre of you. You felt his groan as it vibrated from his body, into yours. And then he was kissing you again, stumbling back with you towards the bedroom. 

You couldn’t touch enough of him at once. The hard press of his muscles against your body was divine, a song to the softness of your own body, and when he parted from you to place you on the bed, a whine escaped you at the loss of contact.

But that noise immediately faded into breathlessness as Lucien’s hungry gaze landed on you. And the intent you found waiting in his eyes…the sheer focus—

He unbuttoned his white shirt torturously slowly, first at the cuffs and then at the front. You couldn’t help staring at his fingers, thinking back to the times they’d touched you before, what they’d felt like. How you wanted them now, all over you. 

But he was methodical. Knew exactly what he intended to do, and in what order. And when that billowing shirt was tossed to the floor, you waited for his breeches to come off, too. But he didn’t touch them. He instead stepped closer to the bed.

Closer.

His knee nudged your legs apart, and you allowed them to fall open, the sundress you’d worn now feeling like nothing but an inconvenience. Your little, lacy underthings were soaked already; Lucien inhaled deeply, roughly, his eyes like dark, swimming chocolate.

“I hardly know where to begin,” he breathed, his tongue swiping over his lips. “I could spend hours just looking at you. My mate.”

“I don’t want you to look at me.” Your chest rose and fell deeply. “I want you to ravish me.”

A low growl was his answer, and he seemed utterly powerless to his needs as he dropped to his knees at the foot of the bed. His heavy breaths blew against your clothed cunt, and you hissed at the sensation.

“Lift your hips for me,” Lucien murmured, his attention fiercely on that sweet spot between your thighs that he wanted access to. 

You did just that, sucking in a gasp as his calloused hands skated up your legs, dipping beneath the hem of your dress. His fingers found the waistband of that frail, pathetic undergarment that barely concealed you, and he tugged it down, pressing kisses to your legs in its wake.

“I must think about tasting you,” your mate hummed, “every single hour of the day.”

You were trembling already, reaching for any sliver of bravado you could hold onto. “A slight exaggeration, perhaps.”

“Oh? Do you think so?”

“I do—”

Your words turned into a yelp as Lucien pushed your dress up and lowered his face to your damp heat. He inhaled slowly, eyes flicking up to yours. “Not an exaggeration at all, I assure you.”

And then his mouth was on you, and you were incapable of a response beyond the moan that was dragged from deep within you.

Amongst all the chaos and havoc of recent weeks, you’d almost forgotten how generous Lucien was with his mouth and teeth and tongue. He took his time exploring you, lapping you up like your wetness was in dwindling supply. And the noises of utter filth that left him…you sunk your fingers into his hair, your head falling back. 

“My beautiful fireling.” Lucien growled, his teeth grazing your clit. “I’ll never get used to this. To wanting you constantly.”

“Fuck, I want you too.” Your fingers tightened in his hair, your other hand clasping your breast. “Always.”

“Always is ours, my love.”

The way that he feasted on you…you could bask in the feeling forever. The strokes of his tongue and grazing of his teeth and the way he had you trembling before he slid a finger into you. He pumped that finger a few times, lapping at your clit with his tongue. And when a second finger joined the first, you were done for.

Your back arched off the bed as a stunning release stormed you. Over the ringing in your head, you could just make out Lucien’s words of encouragement, the way he continued to worship you, even as you came down, legs trembling. Words simply failed you, your arm draping over your face as you attempted to catch your breath, But as Lucien kissed your inner thighs and climbed onto the bed, caging your body in, you could already feel yourself ready again.

“I want you inside me,” you breathed, reaching for him and pulling him into a searing kiss. Your hand moved down his body, finding the tight, hard arousal that poked through his breeches. You growled in frustration at the intricate laces and buttons, “take these off.”

Lucien chuckled, his fingers going straight to those laces. “So impatient.”

“Such a delicious tease.”

“I think you’ll find…” he paused, long enough to move his hand up to your face. His fingers brushed the cut of your jaw before landing on your mouth, and with a little pressure, he was parting your lips. Pushing in those two fingers, still coated with your sex. “I think you’ll find that you’re the delicious one.”

Your eyes met his as you sucked your taste from his fingers, your tongue flicking the pads of them. And the way he watched you…the darkening of his eyes was so sinful that you knew — there would be no more teasing.

He didn’t even need to look as that one free hand loosened the rest of his buttons and laces. And then the front flap of his breeches was parting, revealing more skin that dipped down beneath the fabric, the smattering of hair in a perfect trail.

Too much…the craving him was almost too much. Your eyes followed that trail of hair, and it was with utterly ravenous desperation that you reached out to shimmy his breeches the rest of the way down.

At the sight of his cock springing free, you moaned.

He was hard. So ready for you, it looked like it could teeter on the edge of pain. Lucien swallowed, finally removing his fingers from your mouth as you reached out and brushed your fingertips against the velvety skin of his cock.

He hissed between his teeth at the contact, his hips jerking. Your lips twitched into a smile as you wrapped your hand around his length and pumped him. Once. Twice. Three times.

“Fuck—stop.” He gasped, staying your hand by grasping your wrist in his own. “I need to be inside you. We—we fall off the edge together.”

A promise that sounded so good, you wanted to devour it. You stopped your movements, pausing to mop a bead of moisture from the head with your thumb. Which you then lifted to your mouth and sucked.

Lucien swore, so deep it was almost indiscernible. And then he was positioning himself between your legs. Pulling your dress the rest of the way off until the two of you were completely bare with each other. 

The head of his cock brushed your entrance, drawing a gasp from you. But he was pausing over you. Staring down at you.

Your chest heaved as you asked, breathlessly, “what is it?”

Both of Lucien’s hands slid to yours, your fingers immediately slotting together. He pinned your arms above your head, staring down at you. “I’m just happy.” He murmured earnestly, eyes tracing every inch of your face. “We get to do this for the rest of our lives. We get to have each other. Forever. I didn’t…I didn’t think I’d ever have something like this.”

The words were so raw that you felt them right to your very soul. You pushed up, pressing your lips, your forehead, to his. “We deserve this happiness, Lucien.”

“Yes.” He breathed. The head of his cock pushed into you just slightly.

“We deserve,” you continued, biting your lip at the sensation, “to live a long, happy life — together. You and me.”

Those words seemed to utterly destroy whatever was holding him back. He groaned, sliding further into you, your slick walls welcoming the friction. 

“You and me.” He echoed. And then he thrust.

Your eyes were fully locked on one another’s as he pushed in to the hilt, a gasped breath leaving both of you. And then he withdrew. Pushed in again. Leaned down to kiss you.

Those first few thrusts were slow, languid, a battle of breaths and kissing and your bodies moving together. Every bit of you touched every bit of him in any way you could, and just the feeling of having him there…pressed against you. Real. Safe. Happy—

You didn’t realise tears had escaped you until you were choking out a moan that mingled with a sob. Lucien paused to pull back and read your face, his lips parted—

“Don’t stop.” You gasped, not shielding your emotions one bit. “Don’t stop.”

“I love you.” He leaned down, kissed one tear away. Another. “My fireling. My mate.”

You were sure your body shuddered at the words — or maybe it was his. Or both of you. All thoughts became lost in the sensation of your bodies and souls being joined, of Lucien fucking you and loving you. Worshipping you. He was yours and you were his.

And when the pace quickened, became more frenzied…when you were clawing at each other’s skin and kissing with teeth and tongue and breathing the most raw words of sheer pleasure onto each other’s mouths, it dawned on you only then — that the worst was over. 

The best was yet to come.

It was as though you’d sent that thought straight to Lucien’s mind, coursing through his body, as you felt him shudder against your hands. He threw his head back, his hair a brilliant flash of colour that reminded you of daylight. That there would be many days ahead of you.

And when you dragged your nails down his back, grabbing at the skin of his ass and encouraging his hard thrusts into you, hitting a spot so deep inside you…white hot pleasure splintered through you.

You cried out as release hit you at full-force. Lucien’s hips faltered, his thrusts stuttering as you clenched around him.

“Come.” You breathed, trembling. “Come for me.”

He did just that.

There weren’t any words to describe the roar that broke through him as he stilled and spilled every drop of himself inside you. It was like no other sound you’d heard from him before. One not only of pleasure, but of raw, carnal love and passion.

You moaned through every jerk and twitch of his cock inside you, and Lucien swallowed every noise with kisses and whispered I love yous, over and over.

I love you.

I love you.

My fireling, my mate, I love you.

You would never tire of hearing it.

Nor of feeling it.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

lucien tag list: @brekkershadowsinger @sillycrownlady @ruler-of-hades @lectoradefics @lucyysthings @littlemoonash @janzquu @carmelalikestoread @cathyac @tasha2627 @elkessecretplace @inkyvelvet @acourtofthought @zazite95 @antisocialcookie16 @sehalpha25 @fuckthatfeeling @adamgetawaydriver @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @lostpirateinwonderland @scrunklybunny @owllover123 @vangoghsbaby @goodbyemilkyway @babyimagangsta2 @cynicalpotato95 @draguta @pee-stachio @rem-ie @mateobneun-rattattui

[eretzyisrael]

by Dion J. Pierre

Penn’s handing down disciplinary sanctions came nearly two months after it finally cleared protesters from school property with the help of the Philadelphia Police Department. The university had attempted to negotiate with the protesters, but its patience wore thin amid their escalating conduct. After hours of discussions failed to yield a settlement acceptable to both sides, interim president Larry Jameson publicly called the protesters a safety hazard while noting that they had committed acts of vandalism, including defacing a statute of Benjamin Franklin, one of the United States’ Founding Fathers, and “The Button,” a sculpture built in the early 1980s.

In addition to divestment from Israel, the demonstration’s leaders demanded that the university vacate a suspension of Penn Students Against the Occupation of Palestine, which the school shut down after multiple rules violations. Frustrated with the university’s refusing to grant them any concessions, masses of new people joined the encampment, expanding it over a larger area of school property and forcing the university to request additional security on campus.

“The protesters refused repeatedly to disband the encampment, to produce identification, to stop threatening, loud, and discriminatory speech and behavior, and to comply with instructions from Penn administrators and Public Safety,” Jameson said after the tents were dismantled. “Instead, they called for others to join them in escalating their disruptions and expanding their encampment, necessitating that we take action to protect the safety and rights of everyone in our community.”

Antisemitism fueled by anti-Zionism exploded at the university long before the “encampment” was set up, an action which was precipitated by Israel’s military response to Hamas’ massacre across southern Israel on Oct. 7. In September, it hosted “The Palestine Writes Literature Festival,” which included speakers such as Palestinian researcher Salman Abu Sitta, who once promoted antisemitic tropes, saying in an interview, “Jews were hated in Europe because they played a role in the destruction of the economy in some of the countries, so they would hate them.” Another controversial figure invited to the event was former Pink Floyd vocalist Roger Waters, whose long record of anti-Jewish snipes was the subject of a documentary released last year.

One day before the event took place, an unidentified male walked into the university’s Hillel building behind a staffer and shouted “F—k the Jews” and “Jesus Christ is king!” before overturning tables, podium stands, and chairs, according to students and school officials who spoke with The Algemeiner. Days earlier, just before the Jewish New Year of Rosh Hashanah, a swastika was graffitied in the basement of the university’s Stuart Weitzman School of Design.

[chthonic-cassandra]

Recent books, fiction -

Emma Cline, The Girls - a teenage girl in the late 1960's ends up on the outer edges of a Manson-like (very closely Manson-like) cult. This was okay, but not great, falling too often into cliches about teenage girlhood and lacking a sharp understanding of cult dynamics. By basing the fictional cult in the novel so closely on Charles Manson's Cline gets to handwave a bunch of things about how and why it works, but the seams in the construction show through anyway; Cline's understanding about what leads people to join and stay in these kinds of groups, and how the internal dynamics function, seemed to me persistently surface-level. The strongest part of the novel is the protagonist's potent desire for one of the closest inner circle girls in the cult, which is the reason she becomes entangled much more than any draw from the cult leader himself. There was something interesting there, if Cline had focused on it, and something interesting too in the hints about our protagonist's solitary experiences of lesbian masochistic desire, but this thread was resolved in a way that felt to me disappointingly simplistic. The hints about our protagonist's adulthood following her experience of the cult are also flat, without the messiness of what it can mean to survive that experience. Worth reading as an example of a fictional depiction of organized abuse, but not a great one.

Mona Simpson, Commitment - family saga novel following three siblings as they make lives for themselves following their mother's depressive breakdown and institutionalization in the early 1970's. This had some flashes of clarity and insight, but fizzled out quickly into banality. There were some things that Simpson wanted to say about pragmatism vs making art, and about living in fear of mental illness, but it all got sanded down. The depiction of 'mental illness' is also two dimensional at best. This suffered especially for me in proximity to a recent read-through of The Frederica Quartet, which deals with some similar themes with an incomparably greater level of complexity and beauty. While this novel wasn't terrible, the fact of how lauded it has been made me feel cynical about the state of contemporary literary fiction.

Dion Fortune, Moon Magic - a hilarious but less than successful chapter in my weird journey of reading Fortune's fiction work. Like The Sea Priestess, to which it is a loose sequel, this novel centers around a blatant Dion Fortune self-insert initiating a repressed professional man into sexualized spiritual enlightenment. Unlike The Sea Priestess, Moon Magic is told largely from the point of view of said Dion Fortune self-insert, which brings the narcissism levels up to the nearly intolerable. Left unfinished at Fortune's death, the final chapter was written by her friends which was also not a great choice.

Melody Razak, Moth - a left-leaning, intellectual family in Delhi struggles to cope with the cataclysmic violence of partition. Stepping back from this book there are elements of it, and of the way each character was drawn, which I appreciate, but I felt consistently uneasy reading it, so much that I put it aside for a week in the middle, which is unusual for me. There was something about Razak's narrative gaze which felt exoticizing in its hazy simplicity; this maybe has to do with her conviction to "tell the untold stories" of women who experienced violence during partition, which I don't think is ever a great way to go into a fiction project for reasons I have written about elsewhere. However, the intensely brutal violence of the final section of the book somehow landed for me more as a reader; I don't actually know how I feel about the representational ethics of it, but something about the extremity brought it to a narratively more effective place. I'm still trying to sort through why.

Stacey D'Erasmo, The Complicities - after her husband's conviction for fraudulent business practices, a woman moves to a town in New England, opens a massage practice, and gets emotionally involved with a beached whale. Ugh. This was very bad, and I don't know how it ended up on my to-read list. Flat, simplistic prose style, irritating narrative voice, unlikable characters. Whatever.

Kikuo Tsumura, There's No Such Thing As an Easy Job (trans. Polly Barton) - genuinely hilarious satire on Japanese capitalist culture. A young woman, burnt out on her previous job (the nature of which isn't revealed until the end, which was an effective choice for me and so I'm not spoiling it), seeks to find a form of employment that will require the least possible from her intellectually and emotionally, ending up in increasing surreal work situations. This kind of book often doesn't work for me (I'm not a big humor person), but this was sharp and understated and very good. The section at the cracker factory in particular had me trying ineffectively to explain its hilarity to people around me. Recommended.

Catherine Lacey, Biography of X - in an AU United States where the southern states seceded in the mid-twentieth century, a newly widowed woman attempts to find out the truth about her wife, a notoriously secretive and manipulative artist. This was ambitious in its metafictional conceit and had a premise that intrigued but ultimately didn't live up to its promise. The world-building of Lacey's AU felt implausible and insufficiently developed; there were so many aspects of it that didn't land, like the distracting use of real-life figures or the total lack of critical analysis around race and gender. If the AU premise had been removed and the focus kept tighter on the central relationship it might have worked, but there too we just didn't have enough to go off of. This mostly just made me wish I was rereading Siri Hutvedt's The Blazing World, a much, much stronger metafictional depiction of a female artist, which maybe I should do.

Mariana Enríquez, Our Share of the Night - in Argentina during the period of military dictatorship, a young father attempts to save his son from the abusive group of which he has been a part since childhood. I loved this book so so very much. As a horror novel, as a depiction of organized abuse and intergenerational trauma, as a representation of the ways that state and interpersonal violence repeat and mirror. It's not a perfect book - I think that the last third could be tightened and shifted in certain ways - but what it's doing is so strong and specific that I don't mind. I sort of want to buy a copy and reread it right away. Strongly recommended, with the content note that it is a very emotionally plausible and unsparing depiction of its subject material.

[viviagriche]

Roxana A. ft Dion A. (Platonic)

Name: Roxanna Agriche  

Character use: Roxana and Dion 

Role: Older sister of our MC, FL 

General/Theme: One shot/ Head Cannon, Angst/fluff

CW: Manipulation, possessive and Overprotective Roxie. 

Gender Reader Use: Female Reader

Manga/Manhwa: "How to protect the female lead older brother".

༶•���┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧  

♪ Roxie and Dion don't get along, but her little h/c sister gets along with Dion. Dion at first didn't trust you but you did manage to crave into his heart. This poor boy will just kidnap you from Roxie just to cuddle and demand affection. Roxie was very jealous and angry at you paying attention to Dion to the point she was manipulating that Dion was a terrible person and he would kill you if you pissed him off. 

♪ You got scared and started staying in your older sister's room and would lock the door and cuddle with her when Dion came and tried talking to you to open the door so he could hang out with you. Roxie responded to you saying "You are very busy and have no time to hang out". Which was a white lie. 

♪ The poor little h/c girl was just trying to stop the fighting and got in trouble for starting it. She was grounded by Sierra and was to stay with her for the time being. Lant was angry that the two were going to hurt his favorite child. So Dion and Roxie got a house arrest in their room for the rest of the month from seeing the little H/c. 

♪ When Roxie got off of house arrest she got a new toy named Cassis. She introduces  you to Cassis. The Poor boy was so scared that you might hurt him but when you got close to him like how you crave a heart to everyone's heart. This poor boy wants to save you from your sister due to the fact she can be very manipulating towards you and him. 

♪ Cassis felt bad due to your life as a villain child in the villain household. He felt bad for you, you were an angel just trapped with a full of Demons. Or fallen angels like I like to call it. You miss Ashil he did escape with your help you told him to run and never returned for you since it was a very dangerous trip for him. 

♪ Cassis wanted to save you but you keep telling him. You're okay and you don't need to worry; I am safe with my sister Roxie and my family. You stayed because you didn't want to worry your poor mother Sierra you did lied to your family Ashil passed away. Sierra is very much a Yandere that won't let her baby die she'll throw herself in front of the killer to protect her babies. 

♪ You manage to live another day. The reason is that you ignore the people who want to help you. You were saving them from death anyways you had no freedom; Your family won't let you go ever not after they lost Ashil. Dion would kill anyone who dare to try and steal you away from him and Roxie. 

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧

[camryn-haitani]

Phobia Factor

Duncan x GNReader

Ep: Phobia Factor

TW: suicide talk and panic attack

All the campers are gathered around the fire sharing their fears. But you, you're a little smarter than that. but not as smart as Chris.

I know this isn't like a main fear some of y'all have, but this is a main fear for me. so I just wanted to put it out there beforehand. also just to clarify, y'all aren't dating in the beginning.

- - - - - -

"c-celine dion music store standees..." Duncan says while his head hung low. "uh exsqueeze me? I didn't quite catch that" Cody exclaimed while leaning more towards Duncan. "shut the fuck up you little asshole or I'll kick your puny ass into next week's challenge." Duncan said while holding Cody's shirt.

(in the confession booth)

"uhhh I'm a little scared right now. like I have a feeling Chris is gonna get some sick twisted idea for us. ya know, since we're saying what our fears were. but ain't no way I'm saying that shit Infront of people. and ain't no way I'm saying it here either." I say while crossing my arms.

(with Chris and Chef)

"heh heh heh, oh don't worry y/n. we've been watching you very carefully. you don't have to say what your fear is, I already know it." Chris said followed by a maniacal laugh. "ya know man, you're one sick freak. but me too." chef said while eating his dessert.

(back at the campfire)

"what about you y/n? what are you scared of?" Courtney egged on. "y'all a bunch of dumbasses ya know. y'all seriously didn't think that Chris is gonna do something with this info that he has on us now." I say. "omg you're rightttt." Lindsey said. you facepalmed and shook your head. "I'm headed to bed, good night y'all." I say while stretching and popping my back. "wait up sweetheart, I'll walk you there." Duncan says while walking behind you. "why's that bitch gotta take him away?" Courtney said quietly.

"you know, I have a feeling you're right about the whole Chris gonna do something with our fears thing." Duncan said while putting his arm around your shoulder. "I told y'all" I say, "well good night Duncan. I'll hopefully see you tomorrow." "good night babe." he says while kissing the back of your hand.

'why are feelings so hard. I think I'm falling for Duncan. we've just clicked from the beginning. shit. but I'm in this to win it.' I think to myself before falling asleep

(next morning)

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING CAMPERS. RISE AND SHINE. MEET ME AT THE LODGE FOR BREAKFAST IN 5 MINUTES." Chris yelled over the loudspeakers. "can't we just get 30 more minutes of fuckin sleep?" leshawna said while rubbing her head.

after I got dressed, I walked out of the cabin and was met with Duncan having his back facing me. "hey sweet cheeks, you ready?" "yeah yeah I'm coming." I say still trying to wake up. we started walking to the lodge and I felt someone glaring daggers into my back. I turn around and nothings there. I brush off the feeling and keep walking.

"heyyyy campers. while you finish up breaky, how about heather meet me up at the amphitheater. it's sumooooooo time." "WHAT" Heather spats out along with her drink which hit Gwen. "real fuckin nice heather." Gwen said while her face dripping in water. "awww at least it's a good look on you." Heather says while walking out, shaking with fear.

"see I told you assholes Chris was gonna do something." I yell. "hey y/n. I need to talk to you. it's something important." Chef says while he pulls me out the door.

"ok guys. I found out what y/n's fear is. and I'm really not gonna like saying this but, I need y'all's help to make it work." Chris whisper yells.

(after Chris explained what they need to do)

"you're one sick ticket dude." leshawna says. "yeah man, this is just wrong." Duncan said with his head hung.

(at the amphitheater)

"ohhhhh ok I get it now. thanks chef." I say while walking to go sit next to Duncan. "no problem y/n." chef says going back to Chris. "hey Duncan." I sit down next to him. *silence* "uhh Duncan? you ok?" "why the fuck are you always following me around? get the fuck away from me. this is why Courtney's better than you." he snaps. "......oh. I'm sorry." I sadly say. I get up and go sit next to Gwen. "hey Gwen." "ughh the hell do you want? if you're not gonna be useful then stop wasting my time." Gwen yells. I have one more person I can go to. "hey trent." I say hoping he's not gonna be the the other two. "omg y/n stop thinking we're friends. we are not friends and we will never be friends. go jump off the fucking cliff we did in the first challenge. you'd be doing us a favor." trent says while regretting every word that came out of his mouth.

'fuck fuck fuck. it's happening again' I say in my head. I get up and walk to the woods.

"SHIT. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME." I cry while sliding down a tree to sit down.

*suicide talk starts*

they were right. I should jump off that cliff. my breathing becomes ragged and unstable. I start to shake and my vision gets blurry.

(with Duncan)

'where did y/n go?' Duncan thought. but then a certain memory can across his mind.

*flashback*

"yeah I've had to move schools alot because of how much the people there bullied me and told me things that broke my mental health. I've been told to kill myself. multiple times. my biggest fear is being replaced and forgotten." I say.

me and Duncan were somewhere in the woods just talking. me and him have gotten kinda close but not that close.

*back to now*

Duncan pov:

"I fucked up. I fucked up bad." I say while standing up. I run. I don't know where I'm running to, but I'm running. wait, I'm running to find y/n. I check the cabin, I check the lodge, I check the bathroom. I check everywhere. wait, the woods.

your pov:

it's getting worse. this is the worst attack I've ever had. I start scratching my arm to try and regain neutrality. but nothing is working. I can't stand. I can't talk. I can't think.

Duncan pov:

shit shit shit. I hear them, but I don't know where they are. "Y/N" I yell to at least try. but alas, I don't hear a response.

your pov:

"Y/N"

I faintly hear my name but I can't respond. no matter how hard I try. my voice just won't come out. but I see some rocks. I pick one up and find the strength to throw it. I get one about a foot away from me. I pick up another one, this time I got it a little farther. the last rock, I throw it the farthest. then j hear rapid footsteps coming towards me.

"holy shit y/n. I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible person." Duncan says with tears in his eyes. he picks me up and puts me in his lap while he sits against the tree. he has his hand on the back of my head. 'this is nice' I think. Im still shaking. my throat is hoarse from crying. I'm weak from the energy I've been exerting.

after a good hour or two, I've finally calmed down. Duncan noticed it and asked, "do you wanna go back with the others or to the cabin?" it was around the afternoon and the challenge is over.

"I wanna go see Trent and Gwen." I say barely audible. "ok sweet cheeks let's go."

he picks me up and puts his arm around my waist and we begin walking.

"y/n omg I'm so sorry. I'm such a shitty person. please forgive me. I'll do anything." Gwen said while crying and hugging me. I hug back. "I forgive you. but please never do that again. promise?" "I promise." we break from the hug and I sit down. "fuck y/n. I'm so sorry, I'm a horrible friend. I shouldn't have said those things to you." Trent said while also crying. "please forgive me." "it's gonna take a while for me to forgive you. but I accept you're apology."

we all eat dinner and eve's drop the campfire ceremony. Tyler gets voted off. and we all go back to the cabins.

"y/n!"

"oh hey Duncan. what's up?"

"lemme walk you to your cabin."

"sure"

we begin walking and he says

"y/n. I think I like you. like I get nervous around you and I care about you a lot and when I saw you having that panic attack, I felt horrible because I knew I was the cause. but forget that, I want to be with you. I wanna be by your side through everything. even after this shit show."

"Duncan I like you too."

he closed the gap between us.

after a few minutes, we part.

"well good night sweet cheeks. think if me when you dream" he says

"I already do"

"WHAT" he says with the biggest blush on his face.

- - - - - - -

[bloomandcoffee]

So The official Lyrics for “Ascension” just dropped...

...and it’s time for a musical analysis. A.k.a. I lost it because this song is juicy and the interpretation and analysis dragged me through a spin, and if I had to lose my mind, you all should too. 

Time for some interesting tidbits I've found with The lyrics of ascension, its musical cues, and phoenixflare (because bias, but I actually make good arguments for it! The song pretty much does it for me, to be quite honest.)

Warning: quite a long analysis

OK first of all, basics Here are the official lyrics, and here’s a video with the song for quick appreciation and reference. For context, Ascension is the song that plays in the final fight against Bahamut, when Phoenix and Ifrit fuse and they duke it out in space. 

The song starts with Brass & Heavy chorus but the moment Ascension is name dropped into the song is at the culmination of Joshua and Clive fusing. Afterwards it also introduces a solo of violin. A violin solo is indicative of Dion. You learn this from the OST where he fights Odin earlier in the game. This could feasibly be a nod to two things: 

1) You would think The Ascension aspect in its true form is The fusion of Ifrit and Phoenix, but since this Dion's/Bahamut's fight it's instead a clue that true ascension is what spurned the fusion in the first place: stop Bahamut, save the people and save Dion (Joshua) & Destroy the mother crystal, Protect Joshua, defeat this corrupted form of Bahamut (Clive). 

 2) This Ascended form will bring back Bahamut to his senses no matter how terrible the struggle (Brass & Heavy mournful Chorus turned again to violin solo)

3) The lyrics for that moment go as follow:

In courage, conviction (through the night) We find our redemption (find our light) That we might make our ascension

I could hazard a guess and say that the fusing of the eikons represent Forgiveness/Redemption for what they did to each other at Phoenix gate (otherwise, they wouldn't have been able to do it).

However I think it's important to point out that, even before mentioning fire further into the song, Through the night / Find our light  is also reflected in Joshua's/Phoenix theme with  From Dark light be reborn and rise from Shadow / and Shadow in the Night. 

 Night (and night as shadows) are prevalent in Joshua's/Phoenix theme and It's especially notorious since it's the only instance in Ascension where Night is mentioned. One would think "ah it's because Phoenix's theme started the night of phoenixgate”, and yeah that could be it, but why then not do more allusions on Ascension since it's also nighttime?

(Also it’s worth pointing out that the violin solo after Phoenix and Ifrit fuse is also overtaken again by brass instruments and the Chorus. So while there's hope, it's just heralding the beginning of the struggle to break Dion free)

...and Speaking of free

let's get to our next bit:

Burden shouldered Seven worlds of teardrops falling to the sea Bitter seeds, these, e're yearning to be Free! Holy Mother set us free! Strike our irons, be our

All those meta about Dion's burdens being too heavy on him, chaffing him down, making him bitter and not being able to do naught else but bear it??? Here you have your confirmation!

“Burden shouldered” is obvious the interpretation. 

“Seven worlds of teardrops falling to the sea” is a double punch because it could allude to the fact that Dion cannot allow himself to cry in a moment of weakness (he is Bahamut, the Symbol, The champion of the Empire, the Hope bringer, His Father's son) and so the seven worlds worth of tears shall fall into the sea -that is, the place where nobody can differentiate whether it's a tear or just seawater. It also alludes to the fact that, all of this is happening in an isle, surrounded by sea, but instead of his rage falling there, it rains onto the people of the dominion.

“Bitter seeds, these, e're yearning to be”: Through the time of shouldering the Burdens of the Empire with all the privations they entailed and never being recognized for them -even loathed and schemed against!- Dion has grown bitter, and was yearning to be.

Free!

But how, Oh, how does he believe he will find Freedom? 

Through Greagor, The holy Mother. Unsurprising given that he's a Scion of Sanbreque. 

And what does he envision the freedom granted by Her to constitute?

Free! Holy Mother set us free! Strike our irons, be our Solace Temperance Virtue Vengeance

Keep these words in mind (especially vengeance), because they're about to take you on a spin as did me when I realized the turn around.

After the crescendo of what Freedom through her guidance entails, this hectic section of heavy contrasting chorus, brass and tense strings ends with:

Firmament over us Fundament 'neath us

He wants to reach The firmament, leave everything beneath. Do you know who else is spurned to fly over the Firmament, and contemplate the nothingness below? Yes, you guessed it: The Phoenix. Look up to the heavens / The firmament reddens / Throw open your wings and fly! & Look down to the nether / Bid Farewell Forever / Throw open your wings and fly!

But unlike the Phoenix, there's no guiding light in the firmament, no Dawn to look forward to. Dion wants to escape it all, to Rise through the firmament, to leave it all, the chains, the guilt, the horror of what he just did behind, seeking the guidance of the Holy mother and the freedom she represents. 

Again, this section ends with a strong statement of brass and strings. You could even say it's an ultimatum, and the presentation of Dion's current emotional turmoil amplified by the Crystal's/Ultima's madness.

... and then, we go back to the strings, tense, but more prevalent before once again, trying to be overtaken by the brass instruments. And so, the chorus, milder now, assuaged somewhat, continues with the brass not being as prevalent as before (and I'm about to lose it):

Take flight into the starry heavens On high, celestial procession Fire on ruby mountaintops To guide us to the word of god(dess)

We all know this. We are all aware of this. 

"Take flight into the starry heavens", yes we are fighting in space, Dion was able to break through the firmament and leave. 

"On high, celestial procession" Dion, mad with grief, guilt, bitterness and a yearning to be free stands supreme among the stars. A procession fit for a King about to end it all. Even though we know this isn't what Dion, so full of love, of dedication and tenderness for his people would want.

He needs to be stopped from his madness, to be hold gently, to be calmed down, guided through his grief back to safety. and behold! Here comes Ifrit Risen the Phoenix (with extra help). 

"Fire on ruby mountaintops" This is self explanatory, Joshua and Clive have arrived, together, an ascended form with all the implications their ascension meant. But again, Phoenix, focus on the phoenix whose main Motivation is Dion. He arrives to 

"To guide us to the word of god(dess)" the us in this case clearly means Dion, who pleaded to Her before for freedom. Yet it is the Phoenix, who arrives and will guide him to the word of god(dess). The word of the goddess in this case means freedom since that's what Dion yearns for and pleaded to Her.

And what, pray tell, is the phoenix's guidance (also, High Sanbreque priests who? It's the Phoenix, Joshua, the one that will become the true guide to the word of the Goddess, not they who conspired against Dion, who bought into Anabella's scheme) to what true freedom, what Dion's answers and yearnings are?

Solace Temperance Virtue Ascension! 

(Bold done by me, but the exclamation mark is in the lyrics) 

Ascension The type Phoenix and Ifrit got at the beginning, that's true freedom, punctuated for emphasis. Not the Madness Bahamut has become after absorbing the crystal, that’s not Acension. 

The phoenix will guide Dion to it, to true freedom, to true Ascension So this was right where I lost it.

(it's also worth of note that "Ascension!" has an exclamation mark, while "Vengeance" had none, just forceful intonation!)

Ok no. I lied. I was THIS close to lose it, but I held on just by my nails. The song, with now a hopeful tint continues with:

Guide our spirits ever higher And higher and higher and higher, higher! On wings of Faith We'll rise again

"Wing of faith" we know refers to the phoenix, who is guiding true the word of the Goddess. (Phoenix, not Ifrit because who of these two has the wings? Thought so) and with it, Bahamut and Dion will rise again, hinting that they will not die by the end of this fight, but survive and rise again, better (and free, hopefully) and THEN. THEN!!!! Bahamut's string solo theme without brass instruments finally plays and I actually LOST it. If that isn't a confirmation in musical form I don't know what to tell you. Excuse me for a moment while I SCREAM

The song continues and yes the brass now accompany the string solo of Bahamut's theme. Now, instead of being overtaken by it and the chorus as it happened previously in the phase of the fight before this, when the chorus starts it's a whispers and it flows, it doesn't overtake.

Ware ye the madness The breeds inside us Tides of fury flowing, ebbing Mists of malice whorling, wending Veil of Nothing, never-ending Dare not seek what lurketh down beneath No!

It its frantic however, even when it states that the turmoil is waning. It's both a reassurance and a warning, conveyed by the crescendo of the chorus and culminating in the following statement:

An Evil Hiding from the sun Blinded, he screameth eschaton immanent

This is ultima btw. It's a warning about ultima.

What, pray tell, does Eschaton mean anyway? It can't be the Zettaflare, right?

 Indeed, this is what Eschaton means (via Dictionary.com)

Theology. the final age and the consummation of history, including the Last Judgment and the defeat of evil, the eternal blessedness of the righteous, and, in some traditions, the creation of a new heaven and earth:

FUCK YOU ULTIMA