#( tw: addiction )

[fortheloveofexy]

The thing about Aaron being a recovering addict while also trying to become a doctor is that eventually he's going to have to confront his past. Eventually, he's going to have to face himself.

Imagine him as medical intern, tending to a record high of overdosed addicts flooding the ER during the second wave of the opioid epidemic in the 2010's. How would he feel, seeing where his life could have ended, over and over again, were it not for Andrew's twisted idea of an intervention?

Imagine him later, as a resident, working long shifts and barely sleeping, constantly surrounded by the temptation of the very same pills he would have shoved down his throat in seconds at fifteen years old. Imagine with each pain pill prescription he writes, he is back on that bathroom floor, sweating out sickness and hatred as he begs to be let out, the cold tile like ice against his cheek.

Imagine his past addiction being a greater stain on his record as an attending surgeon than the fact that he's killed someone. People still sometimes die in his OR - it's the nature of the beast, of trying to save lives - but Aaron can never swallow another pill.

[anotherbummer]

Lemme tell ya, nobody in that hotel cares who you are! How famous, how hot, so you might as well just... cut the act.

Hazbin Hotel | 1.04 - "Masquerade"

[ganem-ouchie]

Commission I did for @restmuellratte of nonbinary icon Francis of MAG 172 "Strung Out". Hehehehehe it was so cool revisiting this episode,,,,

This commission has been part of the Magnus for Gaza project linked in my pinned post. Please check it out if you think you'd be interested ✨ (this is an example of a simpler comm!!)

[gayshitanddadjokes]

The worst thing about having a self-harm addiction is that it isn't taken seriously as an addiction. I get cravings, I relapse, I was dependent on self-harming for over a year, but that isn't taken seriously as an addiction. There isn't a substance involved so it isn't an addiction. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be able to call myself an addict even though I know that I am one. Whenever I try to tell anyone about it they get this mental image of the stereotyped emo kid self harming to MCR 'to feel something' and laugh when I try to call it an addiction (not that that isn't totally valid. It's where a lot of us started, myself included). I can't confess that this is something I struggle with because my own mother told me that I wasn't actually addicted, there just wasn't a better word for someone who self harms. Of course, it not being treated as an addiction helps in a social sense due to all the stigma around addicts, but it has its own stigma.

[hazbin-hotel-aesthetics-quotes]

SAD THOUGHT:

The whole dance scene of Poison is just in Angel's head, to deal and cope with the abuse on the night.

It start right in the studio, then Angel start to perform, dancing and singing. Valentino dances with Angel, while keeping him cuffed with a chain, literally pulling his strings like a puppet. Angel dances with him, even as Valentino drags him to the groung. After that we see flash back of his daily life and the way he copes (the drugs and the abuses).

I can only blame myself.

I made my choice and every night I'm living like there's no tomorrow.

Then another dance where Angel perfome alone, like he would do on a stage, just to be dragged and grabbed again by Valentino, while on the screen behind him his image remain happy.

Then we are back in the studio, in one of the changing room, that Valentino close from the outside, literally trapping in Angel. That when where back in the reality and the tome of the song became desperate. Angel is left alone, watching from afar Valentino and Vox holding hand and talking. That's maybe imply that in the past Angel had a relationship (or what the thought was a relationship with Val, leading him so sign the contract.)

The whole scene was brutal and my jaw was on the floor from start to the end. Ngl I had to skip few seconds while Val was beating Angel because that when very fast, very soon.

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷

Atlas: [ in a low voice ] Taryn?

Taryn: [ mumbles ] Atlas did you throw up again?

Atlas: Shit.

Taryn: Hmm? Oh, you’re awake.

Atlas: How much of that did you see?

Taryn: The tail end of it. 

Atlas: I’m sorry. 

Taryn: You seemed out of it. You said a lot of things though, I’m surprised you were able to talk.

Atlas: Your glasses are crooked, lemme fix it.

Taryn: Hey, it’s alright.

Atlas: But it’s not.

Taryn: You wanna tell me what’s going on?

Atlas: I… Have you ever had an itch that doesn’t go away? You try to ignore it, but that only makes it worse. And there are certain things that cause flare ups. The feeling gets so loud until you finally can’t take it anymore. So you scratch, and you keep scratching until you’ve made a mess of things.

Taryn: Am I the only person that knows?

Atlas: Generally speaking, yes. From what my friends are aware of, I’ve been sober for six months and… Twelve days.

Taryn: And is this all that you use? Or are there others?

Atlas: For the most part. 

Taryn: Huh.

Atlas: I really didn’t want you to see me like this.

Taryn: I know. Trust me, I know you must feel embarrassed, maybe a bit terrified, but I’m here. Incredibly worried out of my mind, but here.

Atlas: I‘m sorry.

Taryn: No need. 

Atlas: I want to get better, really. I’ve found it to be rather difficult though. 

Taryn: Is there anything I can do to help?

Atlas: I’ve never been asked that.

Taryn: Well, I’d like to be a part of you getting better. If… You’ll allow me.

Atlas: It’s not gonna be pretty.

Taryn: You threw up on me like three times yesterday, I’m aware.

Atlas: [ snorts ] I mean aside from that. Taryn, I genuinely believe this isn’t something that will go away. 

Taryn: We can always start somewhere, this doesn’t have to be an ultimatum. 

Atlas: I- Okay. Thank you.

Taryn: Of course. Hey. so, I’m gonna wash this then give it back to you if that’s alright.

Atlas: Oh, yeah. You can keep it if you want, it belonged to an old friend of mine. 

Taryn: I wouldn’t want to steal your clothes, besides, I don’t know if it looks good on me. I feel like a potato sack in hoodies.

Atlas: It suits you. 

Taryn: Potato sacks?

Atlas: [ groans ] No, NO! You know what I mean. 

Taryn: [ laughs ] You gonna be okay if I head out? 

Atlas: Mhm. How bad is the mess?

Taryn: You might have an aneurysm. Just a tiny one though.

Atlas: Lovely.

Taryn: Last thing, where’s Leo? 

Atlas: He’s… Around, right?

Taryn: No. I didn’t see him last night. 

Atlas: AH! I’ll keep you updated! Bye!

Taryn: Wha-

-

[ shower is running ]

Kai: ¡Ya llegué! / I’m home!

[ BEEP! ] 

Kai: Geeze, silence your phone-

Atlas: heyyyyyy found my phone / uhm thank u for last night / i’m sure u know but could u not tell kai about the coke and pills / for legal reasons this is a joke / my fbi agent outside my window rn / ok i be quiet now / last thing / still can’t find leo

Kai: Huh.

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

The Bar

Dick looked over as a familiar face loomed over his table. Tall and built, one would think he was he bouncer instead of the bartender if it weren’t for towel around his neck.

It was hard to ignore the almost disappointed look Danny sent his way each night.

It was reminiscent of Alfred in a way, so sad. It made Dick grimace as he downed his last shot.

“You know, you only got one liver in there Dick? As much as I love the amount of dollars you throw my way, this isn’t healthy.”

“Real subtle, Danzzo.. real subtle. Can I get a refill?”

Danny threw down his towel.

“No.”

“No?”

“Dick.. it a quarter till four.. the bar closed down like three hours ago.”

Dick glanced at the clock on the wall, the hands danced as he tried to read the time to the point that he had to give up before his head split.

“Shit.. I guess it is. Sorry about that man I must’ve dosed for a bit.”

Danny sighed as he sat down beside him.

Uh oh, time for the weekly spiel.

“Richard.. look at me. I’m worried here, and this is coming from a guy who’s whole job is to feed people’s addictions. This is getting out of hand.. you’re getting out of hand. How often do we have this talk? How often do I have to stay up just so I can be sure that you are at least sober enough that I can send you home without worrying that the next time I hear about you is on an obituary?”

Danny sighed as he pulled at his hair,

“This used to be a once or twice a month thing man! You would come in, drink and shoot the shit about work and the family. I know ever since the.. accident. Life has been hard to process. Heaven forbid anyone who has to go through that.”

“let me grieve in fucking peace..”

“THIS ISN’T GRIEVING! This is drowning out your emotions so that you don’t have to feel and one of these days you’re not going to get back up and I-”

Danny took a second to center himself and Dick almost felt sad when he did.

Sometimes it felt like Danny was the only person who gave a shit anymore.

Dick scoffed at the thought as he fiddled with the empty shot, he tried to not let the guilt set in.

It was always this same song and dance. Yet Danny didn’t even have the nerve to say it to his face.

“I’m just saying that Jason wouldn’t want you to join him so soon man. “

Danny’s eyes finally left that place that they always seemed to focus on over his shoulder before he pinned Dick with a look of pity.

“Trust me, I would probably know more than you think..”

[arradraws]

🫶

[youbutstupid]

Here’s why I don’t like how the team dealt with Reid’s addiction

I saw a post that basically said ‘unless you have addicts in your life, you won’t understand’ in defence of the team; this isn’t me belittling that person, this is just me giving a perspective from someone who has had addicts in my life

The addicts in my life were violent and aggressive because they were deep into their addiction and did we give up on them? Eventually yes we did, I don’t feel ashamed of that, it is something that everyone who has dealt with someone in their life being a violent addict has had to deal with. But we tried

However my point is that no one tried, Reid wasn’t that kind of addict because he was only at the beginning. He wasn’t lost to his addiction. He wanted help. He begged for help. He was so easily saveable and when you see someone you love falling into that hole, you do everything you can to grab them. No one even reached out

They were not protecting themselves and their sanities by not helping him because Reid was not a threat to them, he was not a case they had to work he was just someone who needed help and they didn’t help him. He was young and completely by himself and the only member of the team who seemed to care was Emily, who of course couldn’t do much because didn’t Reid trust her yet

They let him come to cases high so that he could spout out facts and be of use to them but rather than help him they just gave eachother side glances like ‘omg are you seeing this?’

People also say ‘oh they would have gotten in trouble if they helped him, the FBI is a drug free zone.’ It’s also an alcohol free zone; if you’re caught drinking on the job you’re fired and they still helped Strauss. They got her checked in privately so that it wouldn’t be on her insurance so that she couldn’t get caught. They wouldn’t have even had to do all that for Reid, they could have literally just been there for him and they made the choice to watch instead

This isn’t me saying the team were bad people; I love them all and they definitely prove how much they care about Reid in later seasons, but I’m sorry how they dealt with the addiction storyline was awful. The fact Reid had to pull himself out by himself is insane when they gave Strauss the help she needed so freely like please

[fastcardotmp3]

cw: substance abuse, addiction, stobin drugging-related PTSD I'm home sick and found this fully written in my drafts? from march?? apparently?

Steve and Robin, who make jokes about that time we did LSD like it's a funny anecdote to the point where no one knows the actual context of the situation.

(Dustin and Erica would know, if Steve and Robin weren't still self aware enough to decidedly not make jokes about it where those two can hear)

(But still.)

Steve and Robin, who only trust a drink if it comes from the other, who trade off sober duties even if someone else is already designated driver because it's not the same as making sure one of them always has their wits about them.

Steve and Robin who, in the very immediate aftermath of Starcourt, develop two drastically different relationships with substances-- Robin who is detrimentally afraid of the glass of wine her parents sometimes offer her on special occasions versus Steve who can and will try everything available to him just to prove again and again that it was never going to kill him even if he felt like he was dying at the time.

They self destruct in equal but opposite ways for the rest of that first summer before the looking out for each other starts, before the coping via humor starts, before the decision to just call it LSD Steve because if I have to try and process that it was something that I can't read and learn about on top of everything else--

It's not like it ever leaves them though, this way that this specific trauma has fucked them up.

(It's not like Dustin and Erica don't notice, no matter how hard their friends try to hide it.)

It's not like there's anything they can do about it when Steve relapses and goes on a bender that has him losing a whole day of time and waking up to Robin checking his heart rate or when Robin thinks she's in a good enough headspace to do shots with their friends and ends up on the floor of another dirty bathroom with Steve holding her hair back, less from the booze and more from all the hyperventilating, the tears that won't stop until long after she's sober.

(It's not like people don't notice when Robin's jokes about their little LSD trip get pointed on nights Steve's had a bit too much, or how Steve cuts her off from making those jokes at all on nights her hands can't steady around a plastic cup; it's not like they could hide anything from people like this, who hunt monsters and solve mysteries and swallow horrors like the smoothest of whiskeys.)

(It's not like Dustin hasn't gone to Eddie when he gets worried, even if he never spills the whole story. It's not like Erica hasn't asked Nancy unsubtle questions about how to help people with dependency issues. It's not like Eddie and Nancy haven't spoken their own concerns into the quiet dark of night over crackling phone lines where no one else can hear.)

There are nights like this and they happen like clockwork, nights in the little house in Indy for which only two of them are technically on the lease but four and then six and sometimes a whole gaggle of high schoolers still pass through like transients every weekend.

There are nights like this, when the youngest of their ranks aren't around and the booze flows freely and they're out on the porch watching the sun set late with the lift and pull of summertime, when a conversation goes sour with a comment that betrays something that has yet to be spoken aloud.

Steve and Robin.

Steve and Robin who have clearly been through something the rest of them aren't privy to; Steve and Robin who mention it offhandedly without any proper details; Steve and Robin who are hurting right there in front of them and how are they supposed to help how are any of them supposed to--

"Okay, that's it--"

"Nance..."

It's Eddie's warning tone but it's also Jonathan giving her that look from where he's perched on the porch rail and it's also the sudden tension in Robin's brow and confusion in Argyle's and something painfully close to resignation in Steve's.

But this is Nancy Wheeler. It's a miracle she's let them go on like this for as long as she already has.

"No, I'm over the secrets," she shakes her head once, definitive, and levels her gaze on those twin hearts curled together on the porch swing. "You two are going to tell us what happened to you-- who hurt you-- and we're going to fucking fix it."

Steve and Robin, who lean impossibly closer into each other's space.

Steve and Robin, looking ready to bolt.

Steve and Robin, who don't look hopeful for any sort of fixing.

But it's not like it was going to stay unspoken forever.

[frescoisnotinthemilitary]

Hi!! I really love your works.. can I request a fic? I was maybe hoping for Soap helping reader through caffeine withdrawal? 👀 I know it's a bit specific, but I find it really endearing ☹️☹️

P.S. I love Amelia!! Such a neat OC. 🫶🫶

What’s In A Drink? Caffeine, Apparently.

A John “Soap” MacTavish x Reader fic

A/N: Thank you, Anon! 

I’ve been wanting to write something for Soap for a bit, but I couldn’t really think of anything I might want to do. I’m going to make this two parts, just to give you all something to nibble on while I work on the other things. Thank you to my readers for the brainworms and all the support! I’m sorry that this part is so short :/

This one’s a little heavy on the content warnings only because addiction is a sensitive topic, and I get that it’s hard for some people. That being said, it’s entirely understandable if you don’t want to read this. Feel free to keep scrolling. 

CW/TW: slight angst, discussions and symptoms of addiction/withdrawal, depressive and self-deprecating behavior, swearing, implied self-starvation

18+ only please, MDNI (I can’t control your content consumption, but if you’re underage, don’t interact). As much as I appreciate the support, I don’t want to block people.

Reader: GN Reader, You/Your PNs, use of R/N

“C’mon, ye’ve gottae eat.” It’s the same familiar brogue that you love-hate. Johnny. 

“I can’t,” you say, picking your head off your arms. The all-too-familiar prickle of irritation scratches at the back of your skull. “My appetite is nonexistent.”

“At least try, please. It’s no’ good to starve yerself,” Johnny pleads.

The prickle starts to feel more like cactus spines with every passing second. “I said I’m not hungry, John.” John. You never call him John. “Just back off.”

But of course, Johnny’s persistence remains. He steels himself for the rest of the harsh words that are sure to spill from your lips. “Look, ye dinnae need to be cunty. I’m only tryin’ tae help ye. It’s better tae eat proper food than chug an energy drink. And ye ken we’re using vacation days for this.”

Your head falls back down to rest on your forearm, your other hand fidgeting with the ties of your sweatshirt’s hood. You’re staring at the ground beneath the table, between your socked feet. “I didn’t ask for your help, Johnny. You just kind of inserted yourself into my business, now you’re wasting your vacation days making sure I get out of bed and eat more than half a bowl of cereal. I didn’t ask you to.”

“Look, I ken,” Johnny sighs. “I ken ye dinnae want me around, but I want tae help ye feel better. I ken it’s hard, but it’s easier tae do it now than tae deal wit’ it on a mission when ye cannae have a Monster. Not tae mention, they’re shite for yer health; the taurine in those things, Jesus.”

“Alright, Johnny, I get it. Just back off,” you grumble, pushing your chair from the table as you stand. “I don’t need your help. Just leave me alone.”

Johnny looks at you softly, almost sadly, as you turn and walk towards your room. “Love, I didnae mean to pester ye, I only want ye better.”

“Why, you can’t deal with me like this?” You spit. 

He’s shocked, taken aback, but he still tries to fix it. “No, I didnae mean it like that, I swear. I only meant-”

“It doesn’t matter what you meant. I don’t care. Might just be better if we broke up, seeing as you don’t want to put up with me anymore.”

“What? No, R/N, I didnae say that! I dinnae want tae throw us away over a little misunderstanding. I love ye, and I want tae marry ye one day. I-” He cut himself off. 

“Look, I don’t care, okay? I mean- wait, what did you say? You want to marry me?”

I'm cutting this here (for the cliffhanger hehe). I'll probably have the other half out for y'all in a few days. I've been extra busy lately and haven't found much time to work on the fics, but I'm trying when I can. Thank you all for being so patient and supporting me!

P.S. I'll upload this to Ao3 later. I'm a bit short on time at the moment.

[anotherbummer]

Angel Dust + TV Tropes

[scinglives]

open starter: ben open to m/f/nb can be exes, family, friends, gf

Ben knew he was on a downward spiral, and tonight was proof of that. It was a stupid decision, something he never thought he would get to. Driving under the influence. He had used his one call to them, knowing he didn't deserve them to come and get him, that they should have left him here to think about what he had done.

He ran a hand through his hair as he saw them waiting for them in reception. How had it come to this? "I know there's nothing I can say." He murmured, the dizzying affect of the alcohol subsiding now, all he felt was the pain he had been trying to avoid.

[annabtg]

The books warn: excessive intake can cause giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence. But good luck is addictive.

They must stop.

Lily knows it as certainly as she knows her name; this had been a bad idea from the beginning.

“Just one drop,” James had said. “To take the edge off.”

One drop, dancing on her tongue before sliding down her throat; and then a boost of confidence, a clarity of mind. A little fix of luck for their first Order mission. Just so everything would go according to plan.

Read the rest on AO3

Completed, 1.3k words.

[stevesnightmares]

I have to be honest and say that I personally very dislike the way Nora handles addiction in her books just because, to me, it always just feels a little too flimsy and not researched at all.

The most difficult part of being an addict isn't simply being able to go through the detox process, that's hard in itself of course and can be very painful and mentally straining, but the hardest part of being an addict is that you'll always be an addict. Being clean doesn't mean that you are not an addict anymore.

Aaron is an addict, one that got clean very recently at that, and yet they bring him to bars, the make him drink alchol, they make him thake cracker dust. Not only is Aaron not clean and sober but he's also in an extremely tempting environment that would make it so easy for him to start using other drugs again.

To me, it just looks like it was written by someone that has no idea of what being an addict is, of how much being an addict takes from you, how much being an addict is who you are. You could be 50 with 3 children and a wife, 35 years clean with a perfect job and still you might one morning wake up and run a to an NA or AA meeting because the sink broke, your child wouldn't stop crying and your wife is upset with you and you need to take a hit or your veins will explode. And yet Aaron, olny sober for around 3 years, gets drunk and even gets high every weekend. That's a sure recipe for relapse.

I know everyone deals with their sobriety differently, I know there are people, for example, who are California sober (no alcohol, no drugs, yes marijuan or some other drugs). We could debate about our thoughts on the topic if you see it differently but to me it seems like being californiana sober is just a first step towards the right direction, it's a way to reduce the dangers and the most prominent side effect of being an addict without actually having to abstain from drugs. We all take different paths in a life, there is not just one way to do something and everyone must do what it's right for them and what works for them, so if cali sober works for u that'sgreat. But being californiano sober (which is not even what Aaron is doing cause he does consume alchol very regularly) could easly lead him to becoming an alcoholic or make him addicted to craker dust because when you substitute one substantial for another is very very easy to just get addicted to the new one.

Again, I know everyone deals with sobriety differently, but I just feel like Aaron sobriety is just very badly handled and most importantly not very well thought out, probably because he's just a side character so maybe there wasn't really much thought put into it.

[thedeathwitchescats]

I have seen so many people discussing the way everyone treated kevins addiction and trauma in canon and I want to out my two cents in. I agree absolutely that someone needed to put that boy in therapy, but also, they did?? Like Abby was there, almost constantly, to support Kevin, Kevin had Betsy around essentially constantly and could have scheduled more sessions with her. No, wymack and Andrew shoving a bottle of vodka into his hands anytime he was sad probably wasnt the greatest method to help him but also??? Kevin needed to take responsibility for himself at least a tiny bit. He had Betsy ready and available to talk to, he had a support system, he had people. Wymack is shown to both love and care about his team and also not have the best ability to care for them. Wymack did what he could and he also made sure they had a licensed professional therapist nearby and ready to talk to them. It is not everyone elses fault that Kevin is an addict, it isnt their job to help him, but they did. Also Kevin was a) not their priority atm, b) was safe, and c) we only know a limited amount of information. Neil was written to be unreliable as fuck. This man wouldnt have told us the day unless it directly related to what was happening or Andrew mentioned it. Kevin could very likely have been getting better psychological help than we saw. Also!! It was kevins responsibility to help himself.

And before the assholes come ragging about how I hate addicts, I was an addict. I guess by society standard I will always be an addict. I understand addiction. I know how it fucks you up. It was never up to anyone but me to help me. It was no ones responsibility but my own to get me clean. And no one fucking helped me. I was on my own desperately trying to piece myself together. Every day I have to struggle to piece myself together. Its a battle. Its hard, it hurts, its painful and it sucks. But it is still my responsibility to get up, get dressed, and go about my day. Its my responsibility not to pick up a knife, to chug a bottle of tequila, to pop a couple pills. It is my job to keep myself together.

It was kevins job to keeo himself together. But he had a support system that we see him utilizing. Idk where this idea that he was helpless to his own fate came from but it was stupid and wrong