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leclerced · 6 months

Text

sweet dreams

Summary: Oscar getting a lot of head.

Warnings: 18+ minors dni. some degrading language, blow jobs, face fucking. balls briefly in mouth.

Author’s note: hi. here’s this. enjoy. sorry for typos or other mistakes i am tired.

She's been itching for him all day, and he’s been in meetings all day. He was gone before she woke, he didn’t even wake her for a goodbye kiss before he left. She woke hours after he left and found a note on the fridge, morning baby! there’s a pastry on the counter for you, we have a lot of meetings today so i’m not sure when i’ll be home. xx

She plucks the note off the fridge and retreats back to their bedroom, flopping on the bed before grabbing her phone from the nightstand.

osc

baby

when are you gonna be home?

Oscar's phone buzzes in his pocket and he jumps in his seat. After glancing around to check that no one noticed his startling, he slides it out under the table. He feels his stomach flutter at his girlfriend’s contact on the screen and he clicks on the new texts.

morning honey

are you you hungry? i got you a pastry

Her nose scrunches at the mention. He drove all the way to get her breakfast when they could have had a quickie. He's so kind and thoughtful it’s infuriating.

no. i’m horny and you aren’t here.

i wanted your cock in my mouth as soon as i woke up

rolled over, reached for you. and you weren’t there ):

i’m so wet for you right now, i’m literally dripping.

Her left hand drifts between her thighs and she whines at the feeling. she was exaggerating for dramatic effect but she’s not wrong. Her thighs are sticky and she barely has to ghost her fingers through her lips before they’re coated.

The first text comes through right after he hits send. his phone buzzes in his hand and he glances down, nearly choking on the breath he’s taking as the next text comes through, followed by two more in quick succession. his cock twitches in his jeans when he reads the last one and he grits his teeth.

nows not a good time, i’m in a meeting

She rolls her eyes. she knows that, it doesn’t change anything.

when are you going to be home?

i have two more meetings. expected time is 45 each. could be longer or shorter, depending.

A sigh leaves her and her pussy throbs under her fingers. She lifts the coated digits to her lips and pulls them inside, sucking them clean. she can almost pretend they’re oscar’s instead of hers so she leaves them, swirling her tongue around her fingers to try to sate the craving she has for him.

can’t you fake sick? i could suck your cock three times in that time

jesus christ.

you really are horny huh

sorry, ill try to be quick

It’s a pointless claim, there’s nothing he can do to speed it along unless he agrees to everything, and that could end up with more meetings in the future because he gave the wrong input because he was rushing. She bites her finger tips as her thumb fumbles across the keyboard, checking for typos before sending the next string of texts.

do you wanna know what i dreamed about?

i was sucking your cock for eternity

you know that dreamy feeling? where you know you’re gonna be there forever? like it’s heaven?

it was like that, and i was sucking you off. i lost track of how many times you came, but i swallowed it all

honestly impressed with dream me

i think i grew gills because i didn’t have to stop and breathe once

who needs air? not dream me

anyways.. i really wanna suck you off for eternity but that’s not possible so i’ll take as many times as i can get

and the sooner you get home. the more i can suck you off

After a few minutes of no response, she gets bored. It's no fun sexting when they aren’t sexting back. She rolls onto her stomach and presses her cheek into the pillow. She’ll go back to sleep until he’s home, maybe she’ll keep dreaming about his cock and when she wakes up, he’ll be home.

Oscar can hear the blood rushing through him as he reads the texts coming through, the chatter of his bosses and team members around him fading into nothing. His cock throbs in his jeans and he backs out of the chain of messages as soon as he reads, sucking your cock for eternity. He presses it face down in his lap and stifles a groan when it vibrates directly on his cock. He slides it down his thigh then tucks it underneath his leg. It’s muffled between the weight of his thigh and the plush cushion but the vibrations don’t stop tickling the back of his thigh for a minute.

When someone prompts him, he lets out a weak sound and squeezes his eyes shut, “I’m sorry, i was thinking about the brakes last race.” It's the worst excuse he can manage and brings on more questions.

Someone immediately curses, “Was something wrong? Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

He shakes his head quickly, cheeks flaming red, “No! They were good! I was thinking we had a good balance and should keep that in mind and I just got stuck. My brain is kind of mush right now.”

Lando lets out a noise of agreement next to him and he’s suddenly reminded of his teammate’s presence. “Yeah, same. I missed the last five minutes.”

Andrea nods, “Well, I think we can finish this next bit up without you guys. get some sleep, come in with a clear head tomorrow." They both nod thankfully and Oscar takes a look around the room and feels a bit guilty that they’re being let go early because they can’t focus. He sees Lando stretching from the corner of his eye and suddenly can feel the tension in his muscles from sitting in the same office chair all day. Even if it’s cushy and expensive and comfortable as hell, sitting in one position all day kills his body. He does one better and stretches as he stands, reaching above his head and groaning softly as his muscles finally feel some relief they didn’t know they needed.

If he had a tail it’d be wagging. He’d be chasing it around the room. He's never been so relieved to hear those words. He turns to grab his phone from the chair and swipes it up before another text can come through. He's opening the text thread again as he walks out of the mtc, casting a quick glance over his shoulder before he unlocks his phone. Each one feels like a punch to the gut, his mind going thick as he rereads them. He starts typing out a text that he’s coming home, but he erases it. she can wait until he gets home.

She’d barely fallen asleep when she’s harshly woken by someone yanking her to the edge of her bed. A grumble leaves her throat as she tries and fails to pull her legs back up, to curl into herself and fall back asleep. The hold on her ankles is solid though and she gives up after a single pull. There’s not a care in the world about who’s touching her, Oscar almost laughs at the thought. Oscar's voice immediately rouses her, though, when he commands, “Sit up.”

She jolts up, rubbing her eyes and sighing, “Opie, you’re home.” She drops her hands to her lap and looks up at him with glossy eyes. He’s already stripped down to his boxers, she can see the bulge he’s sporting and it makes her mouth water. He looks into her eyes for a moment before glancing down her body, down the little nightgown that was forced up her body when he pulled her down. It slumped back down on her hips when she sat up, but he can still get a peek at her cunt and it’s just as she described. “On your knees. on the ground.” His voice is sharper than usual and it buzzes in her ears, sending a shiver down her spine.

He releases her ankles as she slides off the bed in front of him, clasping her hands behind her back obediently. “Like this?”

He nods, “Just like that. Open your mouth.” She blinks up at him and does so, tilting her head back for him. She’s not sure what he wants, his cock isn’t out yet, so that’s not-

She flinches as a glob of spit lands on her tongue and he says, “Swallow it.'' Without a moment's hesitation, she does so and lets her mouth fall back open to show him it’s gone. He smirks and lets out a huff of air. “You’re fucking filthy. went right back to fucking sleep, did you? Couldn’t have the real thing so you went to your little dream land.”

Her brain is still foggy with sleep but the words float through the clouds like rays of sunshine. She nods up at him, “Thought you weren’t gonna be home for awhile.”

He gives her a soft smile and tuts, “I’m home now, aren’t I? Why don’t you give me a warm welcome?” Oscar pushes his boxers down and kicks them aside, she instinctively reaches and he shakes his head and she freezes, “No touching, unless you need to tap my thigh for me to stop, okay? Keep them behind your back.” She whines at his words but complies, licking her lips before dropping her mouth back open. She's not sure what to expect, but she’s happy to take anything he’ll give her.

Oscar steps closer and curls a hand in her hair, wrapping the other around his cock. He taps it against her tongue, “Show me what you dreamed about.” A contented murmur bubbles up from the back of her throat at the taste of him hitting her taste buds and she flicks her tongue across the head before wrapping her lips around the tip. She swirls her tongue and sucks softly before flattening her tongue and taking more of him into her mouth.

The head of his cock hits the back of her throat and she lets out a noise as she forces her throat to relax so she can take more of him. He pets her head softly as she bobs her head, taking more each time. The soft grunts he’s letting out make her clit throb and if he hadn’t already told her to keep her hands behind her back, she’d be reaching between her legs. Her eyes flutter shut as she moans around him, squeezing her hands into fists to will herself to take more, to take all of him.

“This is what you wanted?” Oscar's voice makes her eyes pop open, low and thick like molasses. She blinks up at him twice. Yes. He licks his lips and lets his head fall back as a moan tumbles out, then drops his head back down. “All day? That’s what you want?” Two more slow blinks. yes again. He cups her face and strokes his thumb over her hollowed cheek as he coos, “I’m gonna fuck your mouth now. Did you dream about that?” She blinks quickly this time, yes, before he even finishes the question. Just before he thrusts, she taps his thigh and pulls off with a gasp.

She presses her forehead to his thigh and he can feel her quick breaths all over it, hot and steamy on his skin. After a moment, she sits back and nods, “Okay, ‘m ready. I just wanted a breather so I could last longer.” Oscar could come just from the fucking words she’s speaking. Pacing herself to suck his cock? Jesus Fucking Christ. He taps his cock against her lips, pressing into the warmth as soon as she parts her lips for him. A shudder runs through him as she sucks on the tip and her eyes flutter shut like she’s enjoying it.

He pushes the hand cupping her cheek back into her hair and curls it into a fist, sighing at the softness between his fingers. his hips jut forward to test the waters and she presses her tongue to his cock as if to urge him. Oscar works his cock into her mouth with slow steady strokes until he’s buried in her throat. He moans as she swallows around him and he pushes further into her mouth. A shiver courses through him when she gasps for air through her nose, cool air hitting the part of cock that hasn’t made it into her mouth yet.

He suddenly pulls out until just the head is inside, she takes the moment to suck on the head before he gives another thrust. “My pretty girl, so eager to suck my cock.” He teases as his cock hits the back of her throat again. She can feel a different fog taking over her brain, much better than the sleepy dreamy fog she’d been in. She’d pinched her own ass when Oscar told her to get on her knees, half convinced this was a hyper realistic dream. No. Her boyfriend really did just come home early minutes after she fell asleep. And now she has what she wants, his cock down her throat, drool down her chin and what will likely become an ache in her jaw.

She blinks her eyes open to look up at oscar as he slowly fucks her throat, not even fully fucking her throat. His head is tossed back and he’s letting out soft moans every few thrusts. She feels like she’s being teased in a way, but she’s not going to, nor can she, complain. She lets her eyes flutter shut again and moans around him, rubbing her tongue against the underside of his cock.

Oscar tells himself not to over do it yet, he doesn’t want her jaw aching or her throat sore this early in the day. Not when he has plans to be in it all day like she wants. He gives another slow thrust and moans, pulling back until just the head remains tucked between her lips. she flutters her eyes open when he doesn’t move. The look in her eyes really does it for him. “Make me cum.” She blinks twice up at the orders and begins bobbing her head again, moaning when she feels his cock throbbing against her tongue. His hand tightens in her hair, his abs contract and his hips jerk forward as his orgasm hits. A string of praises and curses mixed with her name tumble from his lips as she swallows him down until he tugs harshly at her hair. She flops back and leans into the bed, gasping for air.

Out of habit, she raises her hand to wipe the drool from her chin and then feels it down her neck and gives up before she starts, the back of her hand would be no help. Oscar seems to have the same thought process because before she’s even realized what he’s doing, he’s grabbed his shirt from the ground and is crouching in front of her, wiping her clean.

An hour later, she’s had three orgasms and they’ve had a shower. Oscar has her on the edge of the bed with her head hanging off. “You sure this is okay?” She nods eagerly, opening her mouth to agree, but he stops her. “You told me about the dream. I’m convinced. Just triple checking.”

She reaches out to brush one of the freckles on his hips, “I love you for that.” She lets her mouth fall open after the profession and he repeats it back to her as he pushes his cock back into her mouth. It’s different than usual, her tongue is pressed to the top of his cock when normally, on her knees, it’s the underside. It feels a bit neglected now that she’s rubbing her tongue along it as he presses into her throat. A moan punches its way out of his throat when she gags around his cock, he jerks his hips back as an apology.

The hand on his hip squeezes as if to say it’s okay and he presses forward again. Oscar works up a quick pace, marveling at the sight of his cock in her throat. For God’s sake, why hadn’t they done this before? Everything about it is incredible. The feel of her mouth, her throat, the angle, the sight of her naked and spread out on the bed. He should get a mirror to put opposite him so he can fuck her throat and watch her touch herself.

Oscar comes suddenly, hips stuttering as he watches her press her fingers into her pussy, thrusting them a few times then waving them at him teasingly. It’s like she read his fucking mind. He plants a hand next to her shoulder on the mattress as his orgasm rocks through him and his hips jerk into her mouth. She swallows it all, sucking at his cock and petting his hip until he’s suddenly oversensitive and backs away with a grunt. It’s funny watching him stumble back from her upside down angle, bring his hands up to rub his face as he groans, “Fuck. Movie?”

She lets out a raspy giggle and rolls over, “If you carry me.” He steps back towards the bed and she pushes herself up onto her knees and makes grabby hands. Her hands wrap around Oscar's neck as he hooks his hands under her thighs and lifts her up around him, crossing her legs around him. He can feel her slick coating his abdomen as he walks and his cock is already perking up for another go.

They don’t even finish the movie before Oscar pushes her down between his legs for another go, telling her to suck him off while he watches the movie. She’s happy to do it at first, and then he actually goes back to watching the movie and hasn’t looked at her or said anything in the ten minutes since she got her mouth on him. The only sign that he’s even interested in what she’s doing is the way his chest rapidly rises and falls, or his cock occasionally twitches and spills precum into her mouth.

She's determined to make him lose focus. Each time she peeks up at him, he still has his arms folded behind his head, head turned with his cheek pressed to his bicep so he can see the tv. She pulls off his cock and spits on the head to get a reaction out of him, but he doesn’t spare her a glance as she strokes her thumb over the tip and spreads her spit along his length. when he doesn’t react to that, she licks from the base to the head, sucking on the tip when she reaches it. His thighs twitch and she can see his lashes flutter, but he doesn’t look at her or say anything.

She bites back a whine and goes lower, sucking softly on his balls as she strokes his cock. He lets a little noise slip and she continues, taking the rest into her mouth. As soon as she does it, he’s jerking his head down to look at her while a shocked moan falls from his lips. She bats her eyelashes up at him before pulling away, “Why wouldn’t you look at me?”

He squeezes his eyes shut, “Trying not to cum. That did not help.”

She whines and squeezes his thigh with her free hand, “Kinda the point?”

He pops his eyes open, “Not if it takes two minutes.”

She swipes her tongue out over her lower lip and sucks it between her teeth momentarily. “You make me cum in two minutes.”

He shakes his head, “It’s different. You can have a few back to back, I've gotta wait a bit. Plus, I could cum in two minutes anytime with my hand and a photo of you, no offense to your mouth, but that’s my record on you.”

She nibbles on her lower lip, “I think you should cum.” At the same time she says it, she begins flicking her wrist faster.

He juts his hips up, “Thought you were gonna swallow everything?” In lieu of responding, she dips her head back down and wraps her lips around the tip. She swirls her tongue around it twice, goes for a third swirl and he lets out a low moan as his body shudders under her and he spills into her mouth for a third time. She keeps her eyes locked with his as she swallows him down, challenging him to look away from her again. He does as a final spurt of cum coats her tongue, pressing his head back and gasping her name. she pulls away from his cock with a pop and wipes her hand on the throw blanket half wrapped around them.

He’s still twitchy under her as she climbs up his body and presses a kiss to his lips, sucking softly on his lower lip. He sighs against her lips and presses back, pulling a hand from behind his head to cup the back of hers and hold her there as he licks into her mouth. Oscar can’t help but moan when he tastes himself on her, but wants to taste her. “Swap places?” He murmurs into the kiss, sliding his hand down her back and around her thigh for leverage to flip them over on the sofa.

The movie was never finished, they fell asleep shortly after trading orgasms. she wakes first, the afternoon sun peeking through the open blinds burning through her eyelids. It was nice to open them in the mornings and let in natural light, not too nice to wake up to. She turns her head away from the windows and presses her cheek into the pillow, willing herself to fall back asleep. Oscar's sleeping on her and the weight is so comfortable and warm she never wants to leave. Her bladder has other plans. she succeeds in slipping away from him without waking him and tip toes to the bathroom.

When she returns, Oscar's sitting up on the couch. “My pillow grew legs and walked away,” he grumbles, the lines from her shirt pressed into his cheek. She rejoins him, straddling his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.

She presses a kiss to the tip of his nose as she curls her fingers through the back of his hair. “Your pillow is back now, had to take a bathroom break,” she teases.

He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer, dropping his head to rest on her shoulder. “Hate waking up without you. ‘specially when i fell asleep holding you.” His words move through her like notes of a song and she coos. “You keep saying things like that i’m gonna fall in love with you.”

A disgruntled noise leaves his throat and he pulls back to look at her, “And here I was, thinking you already were.”

She giggles, soft and sweet and rubs her nose against his as she agrees, “I fall more in love with you every day.” She doesn’t think truer words have ever been spoken, at least from her lips.

“You keep saying things like that i’m gonna fall in love with you.” he hums, leaning in to press a kiss to her lips, then to her cheeks, forehead, and nose. It sends butterflies shooting around her stomach and she forces back the urge to smile like an idiot.

She ignores the lovesick feeling and teases, “I suck your dick so much, you have no choice but to be in love with me.” Her words make him snort.

Oscar nods in agreement, “I would stay for the blowjobs, if nothing else.”

She bats at his chest and gasps, “You’re supposed to say, no I love you for other things.”

A wicked grin takes over his features and he squeezes her hips, “Oh, trust me, I love you for other things. Your pussy for example-” She presses her lips to her mouth to shut him up, he breaks the kiss immediately with a loud laugh, tilting his head back. She should have expected it really, after she made the blowjob joke. Oscar slows his laughter and sighs, “I really do love you, every little thing about you.“

She presses a kiss to his chin, “Ditto, Opie.”

#oscar piastri smut #formula one smut #op81 #my writing

957 notes · View notes

the-record · 9 months

Text

WHEN YOU KNOW

SYNOPSIS: inspired by ‘margaret’ by lana 🫶

PAIRING: ellie williams x fem!reader

WARNINGS: none

A/N: this is so stupid i LOVE it , love at first sight trope 🧎

ellie didnt mind parties. the people weren’t always great, but it was good to sell and it made her friends happy.

she liked to sit on the couch with a blunt and people watch, dina chatting away in her ear or singing at jessie. abby trying to find her pic of the night with some help from ellie.

but tonight was boring. dina had run away to dance, pulling jessie with her. abby had an away game, states away. she sat on the couch alone, bored now.

and then she saw you. she thanked a god she didnt know existed that abby wasn’t there that night.

ellie watched for a moment as you grabbed a drink, waiting to see if you found a friend. but when five minutes passed and you still stood there, eyes floating around as you slowly sipped, she made her way over.

“hey,” you jumped a little as she spoke and she smiled softly. “shit, sorry. didn’t mean to scare you.” but you shook your head and laughed. “i’m ellie.”

“angel.” she hummed in response, a questioning tone to it. “what?”

ellie clicked her tongue. “angel? that you’re real name?”

“is ellie yours?” she nodded. “huh. well, maybe if you’re nice enough you can learn the real one.” you smiled teasingly at her.

“you ever gonna tell me your name?” ellie’s arms rested on the window frame of your car door. “i thought i was nice.”

you laughed softly and kissed her cheek. “goodnight ellie.”

she sighed and pulled back, a blush rising to her face, and she watched as you drove away from the party. watching even after your car disappeared and you with it.

an arm slung around her and ellie stumbled as she caught dina’s weight. “good god, how much did you drink?”

dina giggled as jesse caught up to the both of them, her coat and his keys in hand. “just hold her while i bring the car around?” ellie nodded and watched jesse jog off.

“who was that girl?” dina wondered.

ellie smiled softly. “no idea.”

yourusername followed you.

elliewilliams followed you.

angel: hey :)))

ellie: hello

e: three smiles??? way to make a girl feel special

a: mmm i try my best

e: nice name.

a: why thank you

a: whats ur weekend look like?

e: possibly busy, possibly absolutely nothing. why, someone wanna know??

a: no…

e: busy sunday night, but free otherwise

a: good.

e: and whys that?

a: ur taking me out friday night? obv.

e: damn ur right

e: mb thats on me

a: yes. so 8 pm ill send u my addy

e: addy??

a: i speak drug dealer

e: goodbye 😭

e: u ever smoked?

a: i hit a vape

e: …

a: once.

e: once again

e: goodbye 😭

a: nvm dont come on friday

e: waijikitjrjrjrjjrjrjr no

e: ill be there

e: 8pm sharp

e: forgive me :(

a: okay!

ellie: oh me oh MYYYYYYYYY

dina: oh lord

jesse: no 🫶

ellie: pls!!!

ellie: GUYS PLEASE

dina: what.

ellie: ur honor i love her

jesse: yall havent been out yet??????

dina: lord.

ellie: STOP?

dina: no 🫶

jesse: mcscuse me thats my line

dina: ull make it

jesse: 😥

ellie: BACK TO ME PLS

ellie: 8pm on friday

dina: NO.

jesse: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

ellie: guys ily PLEASE.

dina: NO??

jesse: sigh.

ellie: HELL YEAAAAAA

dina: JESSE?????

jesse: 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

dina: ihy all

dina: why are u bailing on ussddsss

dina: u must really like her

ellie: a LOT.

ellie: idk i just

ellie: ive got a feeling

jesse: when you know, you know

dina: blegh

jesse: UR MY GIRLFRIEND????????

snow was falling outside as you and ellie stood just outside your door. “so.” you whispered.

“so.” she whispered back. “snow. on our first date. seems like a sign.”

“oh yea?” she hummed back. “and how’s it a sign?”

she pretended to think for a moment. “i love snow. only brings good things.”

“oh, so im only good now.” ellie blushed as you teased her

“i didnt say that. you’re more than good. great.”

you nodded. “amazing? perfect?”

“no, not yet.” ellie fiddled with your hands as she leaned against your door.

“oh so whats gonna make it perfect?”

“a kiss.”

ellie: IM PROPOSING

dina: ELLIE STFU

jesse: noo shh let the woman speak

ellie: thanks jesse.

dina: shh jesse.

dina: so that good then?

ellie: SIGH 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

jesse: oh lord.

ellie: shes so pretty

dina: mhm.

ellie: and so kind

jesse: mhm.

ellie: and a great kisser 🫠

dina: lovely

jesse: when u know

dina: u know.

ellie: i know.

#ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams fic #ellie willams the last of us #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams x y/n

928 notes · View notes

7ndipity · 9 months

Text

Take Care Of You

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: After a particularly rough week, you come down with the flu. Luckily, you have Yoongi to look after you, even if you think you don’t deserve it.

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: mentions of illness, swearing, teeny bit suggestive and silly at the end, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

It was still dark as you woke up shivering, your whole body aching as you rolled over, seeking out the warmth of your boyfriend. After less than two minutes though, he tried to shift out of your hold, making you whine.

“Babe, I’m melting,” He complained sleepily, trying to squirm away. “Why are you so warm?”

You only groaned weakly in response.

Yoongi’s eyes cracked open at the small, pained sound, looking down at you with sudden concern. “Babe? Are you okay?”

“I don’t-”, a sudden fit of coughing seized you, shaking your whole body.

“Ah, shit.” He clicked the light on, making you wince at the sudden brightness, sitting up to get a better look at you. Your face was pale and covered with a faint sheen of sweat, your whole frame shaking violently from shivering, despite the heat rolling off of you.

“I told you you’ve been working too hard.” He sighed, feeling your forehead. “Stay here, I’m gonna go get you some medicine.”

He disappeared through the house as you curled further in on yourself, trying to ignore the pounding in your head.

You knew he was right, though you hated that he had to be proven right in this way. You’d been pushing yourself harder than usual the past few days, trying to keep up with the usual demands at work, as well trying to get ahead on a few projects in the hope that you and Yoongi could take some time off together.

He had expressed several times that he’d been worried about you, but you’d kept brushing him off, saying that you were fine, your usual response whenever he voiced those types of concerns. He had enough on his plate, oftentimes stretching himself thinner than you had this week, and you didn’t want to add the burden of looking after you to the list.

He returned with a couple pills and some water, encouraging you gently to sit up before he handed them to you.

You took the meds with a slight wince, feeling the soreness in your throat, before trying to pass the glass back to him, but he shook his head, nudging it back towards your lips.

“Drink, you need to pay extra attention to hydration if you’re sick.” He said matter-of-factly.

“You sound like Web Md.” You tried to tease him, but your voice came out too weak and cracked.

“Drink.” He said again sternly, though his eyes stayed soft.

You relented, nodding before slowly finishing the glass.

“I’m sorry.” You croaked.

“Shh, it’s okay. Just sleep, okay?” He said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

He helped you get settled back under the covers before returning to his side of the bed, keeping a watchful eye over you until you managed to drift back to sleep.

You don’t know how long you were asleep for, but when you opened your eyes again, it was light out, Yoongi’s side of the bed empty. You assumed he’d left for the studio, leaving you to get what rest you could, though you tried to ignore the faint pang of sadness in your chest at the thought.

Slowly, you sat up, stretching out your stiff limbs. You could tell your fever had broken, or at least lessened, you were only faintly aching now, though the dull pounding in your head was still very much present.

You decided to make the trek to the kitchen for some tea and more meds, looking for an extra sweater or hoodie to pull on for warmth before shuffling down the hall.

“What are you doing up?” You jumped slightly at the sound of Yoongi’s voice, turning to see him standing in the doorway, carrying a tray of food and tea.

“What are you doing here?” You asked in surprise.

He smirked. “I really hope you’re not so sick that you forgot I live here.”

“I mean why are you still here? Why aren’t you at the studio?” You asked.

“I told them I couldn’t come in today.” He answered, setting the tray on the bedside table.

“Why not?” You asked, confused.

“Because you’re sick,” He said as if it was obvious. “I’m not leaving to fend for yourself.”

“I’m fine-” Your argument was choked off by another fit of coughing. Yoongi quickly moved to steady you as you wobbled slightly, your legs not supporting you nearly as much as you’d hoped.

“You’re not fine.” He said softly once you’d quieted. “Please, just let me take care of you?”

Reluctantly, you nodded, letting him help you back to the bed, tucking the blanket in around your

legs before settling the tray on your lap.

“How are you feeling?” He asked gently, handing you a cup of tea. You blinked, surprised that

he’d remembered the right herbal blend you liked for times like this.

You glanced up at him, noticing that he was watching you, waiting patiently for your response.

“My head hurts.” You admitted quietly.

“These should help.” He said, opening a bottle and handing you a couple pills. “Anything else?”

You shook your head. “Not really, I just feel kinda shitty.”

“A shower might help with that.” He said, chuckling at your choice of words, happy that you still sounded like yourself. “Will you be okay on your own or do you want me to help?”

“I’ll be okay on my own.” You said softly, staring at him curiously.

“Okay. You should eat something first, though.” He said, sliding a bowl of soup over in front of you. “Then, if you want, I can set you up on the couch and we can watch one of your shows?”

When you didn’t answer, he looked up, catching the way you were staring at him.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

You shook your head. “You’re just being really nice.” You said.

He tilted his head. “I’m always nice to you.”

“But all this-” You bit your lip. “You didn’t have to do any of this.”

“What are you talking about?” He said softly. “This is nothing, I’m just looking after you the way you deserve.”

You didn’t feel like it, you felt like you were getting in his way, keeping him away from his own work and responsibilities.

“Nuh-uh, I know that look.” He caught your chin with his fingers, turning your eyes back up to his, looking at you seriously. “Whatever’s going on in your head right now, it isn’t true. You deserve to be taken care of, you hear me?”

When you didn’t answer, he sighed, cupping your face in his hands.

“Y/n, I love you, I want to take care of you. I actually like getting to take care of you, when you let me, that is.” He added, making you crack a tiny grin. “Okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

Good, now c’mere.” He said, trying to pull you into a kiss, but you pressed a hand against his chest.

“What if you get sick?” You asked.

“I don’t give a shit. And even if I do, then you can take care of me, that’s how relationships work.” He said stubbornly, leaning in again.

You let him connect your lips for just a second before pulling away again.

“Yoongi?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.” You said.

“You’re welcome.” He replied. “Now, eat your soup before it gets cold, and then you can take your shower, unless maybe now you want me to help you with it?” He raised a brow at you.

“Stop trying to flirt with me, I’m sick!” You laughed.

“Who’s trying? I’m succeeding, you blushed!” He defended, pointing to your flushed cheeks.

“I did not, I have a fever!”

“Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say, Babe.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

#yoongi drabble #yoongi fluff #yoongi comfort #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader #yoongi scenarios #bts one shot #bts drabble #bts fluff #bts comfort #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts requests #7ndipity

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 months

Text

the girl next door 18

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, manipulation, chronic illness, noncon/dubcon, coercion, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: A new neighbour moves in and upends your already disarrayed life.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself.

This lewk but silverfox

“You know, sweetie, I was thinking,” Steve stacks the plates and gathers the utensils, “if you’re going to take those pills, I don’t think you should be alone.”

You blink and sit up, rubbing your neck. You’re not a good liar. You weren’t planning on taking them. You were just going to go home and lay down but he keeps bringing it up. Maybe he’s suspicious.

“Oh, I think I’ll be okay--”

“Look, honey, your mom’s already in the hospital. I’d hate to see you in there with her. For my peace of mind, will you stay? Just for the night. That way we can head out bright and early to get mom,” he suggests.

“Well...” you trail off, staring at the wall.

He’s being pushy but for good reason. He’s looking out for you. You’re the one going against doctor’s orders and why? Because it’s embarrassing to think it’s that bad. Depressed? No, just pathetic.

“Here, you can borrow some of my clothes,” his voice muffles as he goes into the kitchen and the plates clink in the sink. He reappears and grabs the boxes from the table, wiggling free on and peeling the flap open, “take a shower and relax. You need a good night’s sleep.”

He pulls out the insert then reaches for the doctor’s note. He pops out a tablet and holds it out to you, “says you might get lightheaded. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“I... It’s okay. I’ll go home to...” you bat your lashes at him and give up. He’s just as hard to argue with as your mother, although in a much different way. Your mom is stubborn and mean, but he’s concerned and you’re the one being obstinate. “Okay.”

You take the pill and stare at it. It’s so small. You probably won’t feel a thing. You shrug and grab your glass of water and swig it down, tossing the tablet in your mouth before you swallow. You gulp thickly and set down the glass.

“Right, let me get you something to sleep in. And a towel,” he says as he claps his hands.

You nod and stay at the table as he strides off. You look down at your lap, thumbs twiddling around each other. As nice as he is, you’re starting to feel like just another burden.

Before you can sink too far into self-pity, you make yourself get up. You take your glass and carry it into the kitchen. You flip on the faucet and dump what’s left of the water. You rinse out the glass and place it in the rack of the dishwasher. You do the plates next, then the cutlery. As you close the door and it clicks, you’re startled by the shadow to your left.

Where the counter extends, Steve stands on the other side. You blanch and fold your hands over your chest. You show your teeth sheepishly.

“You didn’t have to do all that,” he smiles. “You’re a guest.”

“I... I wanted to help,” you say, “um, but... I don’t know how to turn it on.”

“Leave that to me. I put the stuff in the bathroom for you. If you feel like it, you can have a bath. Help chase away the stressful day,” he offers.

“Shower’s fine,” you drop your arms and raises your shoulders, trying to make yourself smaller, “thanks.”

“No problem, sweetie,” he comes around the counter as you go to move in the opposite direction. You nearly collide and press yourself against the drawers as he grazes past you with and apology, “just... gonna finish up.”

He presses a button on the dishwasher door and you flit away. His cologne clings in your nostrils as his warmth lingers around you. Too close.

You go upstairs and shut yourself in the bathroom. It’s a little bit of solace. It’s not much but it’s space for yourself. You see the towel hung from the rack and the clothes folded on the counter. The tee shirt is grayish blue and the shorts are drawstring and stretchy.

You twist and turn the faucet, water running into the sharp-cornered tub but you can’t figure out how to get the showerhead going. You turn the water off then on. Off and on. What the heck?

“You okay in there, sweetie?” Steve calls through the door as friction rubs against the outside.

“Um, yeah,” you shut off the tub and back up. You go to the door and flick the lock back, opening it just a little. “How... I can’t get the shower...” your words jumble up with your embarrassment. How stupid. You can’t even figure that out.

“No problem,” he steps in and you back up.

He goes to the tub and flips on the water, pulling out the lever until the water flows from above. You could smack yourself. Instead ,you thank him and hug yourself. He turns and winks at you, “all good. Anything else?”

“No, I’m fine,” you assure him.

He nods and marches back to the door, turning to tap on the edge of the door, “alright, sweetie.”

He shuts the door and you go to lock it behind him. You retreat and slowly undress. The clothes you’ve been wearing since the night before are slightly musty with sweat and the stench of the hospital.

You step under the showerhead and let the temperature seep in. You lean your head back as it splashes down your chest. You stand with your eyes closed, your mind slowing and your eyelids scratchy. You feel your muscles slacken and sway just a little.

Oof. You open your eyes and steady yourself. You look around and find a bottle of woodsy-scented soap. It’ll have to do. You won’t use too much, either.

The steam forms a cloud around you. The humidity clogs in your nose and chest and swirls in your head. You’re dizzy as you slap a hand on the tile and turn off the faucet.

You stagger out. The heat of the water fogs the mirror, further setting you off kilter. You pull on the shirt and shorts then collect your own clothes. You leave the towel on the rod and lean into the door as you unlock it.

You trip out into the hall and wander along, for a moment, forgetting where you are. You enter the bedroom with the purple bedspread and dump the armful on the dresser. You stumble and sit on the edge of the bed. You slump onto your shoulder and your head lolls. You think the medicine is kicking in.

You close your eyes and descend into the grey. It’s as if you’re floating on water, swaying and rolling with the tides. Not quite awake and not quite asleep. You hear yourself droning nonsensically. Snort and jerk but can’t break free of the heaviness. The world is moving around you but your eyelids won’t peel back.

Your head pulses as you sink further and further down. Your subconscious is so deep it’s suffocating. The dim darkens to an endless void through which you hurtle down towards no bottom. The blackness unfurls before you, swallowing you up.

You wake to the ceiling above you. There’s warmth against your side and a gentle breath brushing over your cheek. You groan and look over as the slumbering form next to you. You nearly scream at the sight of Steve but you don’t have the strength to do more than babble.

Your arms shake as you sit up, your muscles sore and strained. You hold your head as you try to think straight. You shut your eyes again and urge yourself to wake up. It’s a nightmare. Some twisted dream.

Your lashes flick up and you tilt your head to follow the yellow light seeping in between the curtains. It’s morning already. Your vision turns vivid and you’re certain you’re truly awake. But how did you end up here?

“Sweetie,” Steve rasps groggily as he rolls onto his back, “you okay?”

“Steve,” you look down at the tee shirt, drooping down one shoulder, “how... why am I in here?”

“Hmm,” he rubs his forehead and opens his eyes, “you don’t remember?”

“Remember?”

“You came in here, saying you couldn’t sleep,” he lifts himself up, his chest bare as the blanket falls away, “you wouldn’t go back to bed so... I just let you stay. You seemed pretty out of it.”

“I... I did?” You gurgle.

“Must be the pills,” he rubs your back, “we can talk to the nurse again. Sweetie, are you okay?”

You don’t understand. Why would you come in here? How can you not remember?

“Nothing... happened?”

He laughs, “sweetie, what would happen?”

He stares at you and you grimace, shaking your head, “nothing. Nothing, I just... can’t remember.”

“Hm,” he hums and his hand slides lower, stopping just above your bum before brushing back up, “just sleeping. That’s it.”

#steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #the girl next door #au #silverfox au #series #drabble #mcu #marvel #captain america

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wooahaes · 10 months

Text

where the heart is

pairing: non-idol!mark x gn!reader

genre: fluff. established relationship au.

word count: 0.7k~

warnings: yearning. silly sweet bf mark. reader is written to be a foreigner, but its left vague where they're from.

daisy's notes: maybe one day ill know enough to write abt the other members but he is just so <3 to me ok

The familiarity of your family’s house should have been all you needed to chase away your homesickness. So… Why were you still feeling like this?

A few days ago, your parents had picked you up from the airport, and you’d slept in your room for the first time in almost a year. This time you’d come alone, since Mark had been unable to take off work (you’d fight his boss one day for denying the request he put in months ago—him ‘needing’ Mark to work was bullshit when they had plenty of time to plan around his absence). Hopefully next time, you’d have Mark asleep next to you while you planned for something else to show him about your home. Yet the entire time you’d been home, you couldn’t shake this feeling from your chest. You were home with your family, and yet some part of you felt this awful yearning to go home again. At first, you had chalked it up to you knowing that you’d leave again…

But it clicked after a while. You had yearned to see your family and the house you grew up in, that had been true, but now you were yearning for your home. So you decided to pick up your phone and try to remedy that, even by a little.

Mark had picked up, half-asleep when he answered. You weren’t sure if he was just napping or actually sleeping with his current work schedule, but you’d apologize for that later. All you needed was to see that sleepy face squinting at the phone, his hair messy as hell as he slowly recognized your face.

“Hi, baby,” his sleep-riddled voice had croaked out. “Everything good?”

That feeling dissipated a little. “It’s better now,” you said, sitting down on your bed. “Sorry I woke you up.”

“Nah, nah,” he mumbled, “I’m good. I’m awake. I’m—” He stifled a yawn for a moment. “I’m awake, I swear. Everything good at home?”

“Yeah, yeah… Everything’s fine.”

Mark sat up, suddenly looking a bit more awake than before. “You can tell me,” he said. “I’m awake now, I swear—”

With a sigh, you flopped back onto your bed. “Just… I dunno. I’m here, and I thought that would get rid of the homesickness, and it mostly does, but…”

“But?”

How were you supposed to say it without getting embarrassed…? “I… miss my home still.”

“But you’re—” Mark stopped short, the realization dawned on him. “Aw… Babe…”

“Don’t say it.”

“I’m your home?” He was smiling hard, and you buried your face in your free hand. “No, no, it’s cute! Don’t get embarrassed! It’s cute, I swear!”

“It’s just weird to hear it out loud.”

He chuckled warmly. “Well,” he shifted, running a hand through his hair. “You’re my home, too.”

You whined, “Mark…”

“I mean it! It always feels like home when you’re around.” His eyes were twinkling when he looked at you, and you started to wish he was there with you all over again. “It’s like… I dunno. I go out with my bros and stuff, but it’s not the same, y’know? You’re not here to remind me to stop ordering so much takeout and stuff.”

It earned a snort from you. “Because you’re not the best cook, Mark.”

“Right! But, like, I can manage… probably. I’m gonna get better. Once you get back, you can teach me all those cool recipes again and I’ll keep practicing.”

You let out a blissful sigh at the idea. Sure, not all of your cooking lessons landed well, but you still loved spending the time with Mark. “We can try again, yeah,” you smiled, not quite so focused on him anymore. That hollow feeling in your chest had disappeared. “Mark?”

“Mhm?”

“I miss you.”

He smiled again, eyes twinkling. “Oh, yeah?”

“Don’t be a dork about it,” you giggled. “I just wanted to say it.”

“Well, I miss you, too.” He ran another hand through his hair, only making it messier. “Bring me back something cool, alright? Other than you.”

It earned a snort-y laugh from you. “Mark. Baby. I’m not cool.”

“No, no, you’re like… the coolest person I know, easily.”

You rolled your eyes. “And you’re my favorite dork, you dork.”

“Your dork.”

It made you smile again. “Yeah,” you sighed blissfully. “My dork.”

taglist: @twancingyunhao

#wooahaes.dec23 #wooahaes.fic #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct imagine #nct dream imagine #nct 127 imagine #mark lee x reader #mark lee imagine #mark lee fluff

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everythingseasoning · 1 year

Text

Misunderstandings.

AU - You’re in love with your best friend Eren Jaeger, but he seems to be interested in somebody else.

Tags: Pining. Friends to lovers. Fem bodied reader. For any skin, POC friendly <3

Warnings: Eventual smut. Minors DNI with pt. 2

Length: pretty short. this is pt. 1

“She looks nothing like me.

So why do you look so happy?

I know now, if I tried to change,

Somehow, you’d end up with her anyway.”

\opposite, Sabrina Carpenter\

𓆩♡𓆪

A whole city. Endless festivities, adventures, movies, people bustling about on a Friday night. But you stared out the window alone.

Tears slipped down your face as you buried your face into your sweater, the sleeves damp from all the tears you’d already cried. It still smelled like him. You felt like a mess. You felt ugly. You sniffed again, stretching your jaw to see just how puffy your face was.

Your phone buzzed: You checked it, feeling your skin crawl when you saw his name on the bright white screen.

Eren <3: Y/n, why aren’t you answering me?

A few hours ago:

It was Friday night and he’d bailed on you, on your plans. Eren said he was feeling ill. So imagine your surprise when you saw him at the mall with another girl that same night. She looked nothing like you, from her hair, to her skin, to her eyes. She was giggling as he held her waist.

And there you were, standing with two reusable bags hanging off your arms, filled with items for him, staring into a picture of a beautiful couple— a picture that you didn’t belong in.

You were at the mall, buying him silly hair clips so you could pin them on his gorgeous brown hair, before helping him with his skincare. You’d planned to go over to Eren’s place that night. Eren always slacked on his skincare whenever he was sick. And you were about to hurry back to your car, which had fresh produce in the driver’s seat. You were worrying about the food spoiling before you could cook tonight, for him. …But then you saw them, and it wasn’t a trick, it was undeniable: Eren cupped her face and you felt your heart drop. Green jealousy exploded in your body, betrayal and shock coursing through your veins. You wanted to run away. You wanted to scream. You wanted to disappear. Eren pressed his lips to hers, his hands above her butt, pulling her flush against his body. You turned and walked away, tears already hitting the ground.

…

Your phone buzzed again.

Eren <3: Y/n?

You: Why didn’t you just tell me the truth.

Eren <3: WHAT How did you end up at the same mall that I went to? There’s like a dozen in this city.

Eren: Hello?

Eren: are you mad?

Eren: I didn’t mean to lie, Y/n. It’s just that Isabella asked me out, and I knew you’d be mad if I canceled plans to hang out with somebody else… You know you’re my best friend.

You didn’t know what was worse. The fact that Eren had totally missed the apology mark, or that he’d thought you’d be like an understanding wingman for him.

You muffled a scream, feeling totally helpless, totally jealous, totally hurt.

You: I can’t be friends with you anymore, I’m sorry. I just need to be away from you. You haven’t realized how much you’ve hurt me, for months now. So this is goodbye.

Eren: …What??

You: Please just leave me alone. Don’t try to reach me, in any way. Congrats on your date.

Eren: Y/n, what are you talking about?!

Eren: I called you, answer the next time I call

Eren: Y/n… come on. I’m coming over.

You: Eren, don’t.

Eren: Too bad. My best friend is upset. I’m gonna be there for her.

Your heart ripped even further. You didn’t think it was possible for it to hurt even more, but now you knew: Eren would only ever see you as a best friend.

You: I said leave me alone. If you show up, I won’t answer. I’ll call security.

You finally clicked out of his contact, his name changed to its rightful title.

Dumbass: Are you being serious right now??

You: I’m leaving now. Leave me alone. Please.

You deleted his contact. You went around your house and grabbed all of Eren’s belongings: his spare toothbrush, his scrunchie, his stuffed teddy bear. You threw it all in a bag.

It was time to get over the love of your life.

— 3 months later —

“Jean. I think I’m in love with her.”

“So that’s why you haven’t fucked anybody in months,” Jean replied, swirling cream into his coffee.

“These have been the hardest months of my life, without her.” Eren groaned. His hair was down, and he wore sweats in the campus cafe. He was a hot mess.

“Dude, she was your best friend, what happened?”

“I… I don’t even know. She just said I was hurting her? For months? And that she couldn’t do it anymore… I fucked up, Jean. She’s beautiful, intelligent, and kind. I miss her so bad.”

— Pt. 1 End, cause I need to fucking sleep —

AN: yo this is rushed as fuck.

It’s not thought out. It’s unlike my usual work, and tbh I don’t like it.

But like. Hope you enjoyed?!

Pt. 2 comes out if y’all want it. You can just comment if you want a pt. 2 :)

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ghostieyanyan · 1 year

Note

Hey I really like the secret musician Mc, could I request Yan Jamil and Azul reacting?

yesss i love those two so much. But since I just did the octavinelle, I’m gonna to do scarabia, if that’s okay.

i admit that this is probably not my proudest work but i do like the ideas in it. maybe ill re write it in the future but honestly i don't have much brain capacity to re read this again and check it again. (I've done that so many time that im so tired of see this in my drafts, im so sorry xD

~Musical!mc~

Yan!Kalim x mc

Yan!Jamil x mc

Warning: yandere, obsessive nature, slight-nsfw, drugs mention (in art form), kidnapping mention,

~~~~~

Kalim

Kalim actual found out that you can sing first, Jamil wasnt happy that kalim found out first but what can you do?

He was on his way to the ramshackle dorm to invite you and Grim to a party he was throwing at Scarabia. He was really excited about it. Going through all his plans in his head. They were gonna get colorful balloons and fun games, lots of food and dancing.

But in the middle of his through, he stopped and heard something, a sweet melody. He's heard the melody before but the lyrics were new. but where is it coming from?

Like having no sense of dangerous, he started to look around for the reason. And then he saw you… through a window.

You were cleaning in the Ramshackle and singing as you did so. He was mesmerized, like he was getting hypnotized or charmed. then it clicked! That’s why he’s heard it before! He caught you humming the melody before when you and grim decided to support Ace, Jamil, and Floyd in their basketball game.

It’s was before they were playing and everyone was just getting into their seats. Since he got a special seating, where there's lot of room, vip seating, he offered a seat or 2 for you and grim. He was playing with grim when he heard it for a second. It was too short and too loud in the gym to process the melody but boy does it sounded nice. And its been in his head for a long while. He might have even tried to copy the melody or try to continue but he couldn’t, it didn’t feel right. But with how you sang it, it was just perfect! Your melody to him was like a siren calling him closer, until it’s practically trying to crawl inside.

When you finally noticed him with a quick scream. Kalim had to apologize and had to ask how you didn’t tell him about your musical talents? You should join the music club! Everyone will love you. If you tell him you were shy or that you don’t like the idea of performing in front of others. He’ll be insistent on helping you and tell you that you’re amazing. He’ll even bring the music club to show you. You be a star!

To be honest, he was 50/50 on wanting you to share you talent but he also want you to be his personal song bird. He’ll feel guilty about keeping you to himself but he’s spoiled… he doesn’t know what to do~~~

He asked Jamil on what he thoughts, can who would know him better than his best friend!!

~~~~~

Jamil

Jamil hated everything of this. How didn’t he noticed you could sing?! And how did Kalim find out before him? Has he been that busy and oblivious? Not fair. But he can’t worry about that now, now he has to worry about kalim wanting you! No, you are his! But he did want to hear you sing… he had to make a plan.

He decided that he’ll “stop by” just to see if you’ll sing for him. Which is very childish but he'd rather do a 1 on 1 sessions than the entirety of the music club taking you or even kalim being near you. Kalim has had you long enough!

If you are too shy to sing in front of jamil, he might encourage you by singing together. He does know he has a pretty silky smooth singing voice. You two would sound perfect together, like it was meant to be.

Your voice is like a snake charmer to him. Hell, do whatever you want and take care of you. He'd honestly wish you were his master instead. But he also like the idea of being the one in control. You're his so its only fair of you'll only sing for him. He'll love to sing more together. He'll love to fall asleep with you in his arms, singing him a melody that will melt his stress away as he dreams about having a life with you in his dreams

He has fallen for you so hard that he just wants to run away with you. Travel the world and see amazing places. You two will be a power couple! If there’s trouble, he’s prefect to fix it. Food, safety, awareness, smart, good looking, handsome, is there anything Jamil cant do? The only problem is that he needs you to fall for him. If you fall for him then everything will fall to place, perfectly. He would have to be tempted to hurt anyone who got too close. But thats a lot of variables in this situation, but he can handle it. He will handle anything for you. Jamil will move mountains for you. Or mind control someone strong enough to move it.

But for right now, what he allows himself to do, without being too suspicious, is whenever you come over to Kalim’s crazy childish parties, he’ll take you away for the last quarter of the party and have you sing for him. Just him. It’s enough time for no one to notice and if anyone ask? You’re using the restroom. Or you went to get some food or a drink. No one will notice a thing. Even kalim, with his puppy dog personality, will be distracted by the party. Kalim won't mind if you become his...

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gretavangroupie · 1 year

Text

Vigilance (Chapter 22 Part 2)

Word count: 18.7k

Pairings: Jake x Reader, Sam x OC

Warnings: Alcohol, Cursing, Dramatic Themes. Angst Including: Talks of Infidelity, Toxic Themes, Stalking, Arguing, Yelling, Extreme Portrayal of Sadness, Crying, Abandonment, Heartbreak, Talks of Illness, Extreme Illness, Hospitalization, Talks of Death and Dying, Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Physical Violence. Talks of Pregnancy, Pregnancy Complications, Pregnancy Loss/Termination. Smut Including: Kissing, Touching, Fingering, Oral F!Receiving, Oral M!Receiving, Penetration, Rough Sex, Voyeurism. Fluff.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

SAM POV

“Is there a faster setting for these windshield wipers? Cause these things are shit.” You asked Elle as you pulled into the tiny neighborhood in Cape Cod, peering through the thick falling raindrops to see if any of the buildings looked like the one in the Air BnB photos. You’d flown into Boston and rented a car, the perfect small-town birthday getaway, all planned by your lovely Elle.

“Oh, there it is, babe! That one on the corner. It says we can park on the street.” Elle said, pulling on the rain boots she’d ditched the minute you got in the car.

You pulled the car up as closely as you could to the front door of the tiny old house, situated perfectly on a row of about ten others that looked just the same. “It’s so cute!” Elle muttered.

“I can’t even see it, it’s raining so hard!” You yelled over the loud drops pounding on the sunroof. “Let’s wait a second while it calms down before we take everything inside.”

“Mmm…okay.” She complained.

“So anxious to get inside, babe…?” You said, running your hand over the back of her head.

“Maybe. Yes. I’ve just planned this so quickly in the last few days, thinking we were gonna be out on the road instead of getting to do something special. I just can’t believe we actually made it, is all.” She leaned back into your touch, calming her jittery and excited nerves.

You offered her a smile. “I’m excited too, babe. I can’t believe we made it either, honestly. And thank you, for planning this. You’re the best.” You sighed, watching as the rain let up a bit. “We should be soundchecking right now.”

“I’m sorry, love. I know you’d rather be out there playing.” She relented.

“No, no. Not rather. Not rather at all. It’s just you get yourself in this mindset to go and do something like that, it takes a long time to get yourself there. Then it just stops. But it’s okay, shit happens. Jake needs to heal more than anything. Top priority.” You said, giving her a little smile.

“Yes. Top priority. He will be okay, babe. Just needs some time.” She said, clicking the toes of her boots together. “Ready to go in now?”

——

You’d spent the afternoon making yourselves at home in the little house, a quaint place right on the water. The air still had a wintery feeling, but it didn’t stop the place from slowing down. You’d decided to take a walk down into town once the rain turned to a drizzle, seeing what all you could find in your short stay. It was straight out of a Hallmark movie; Main Street still bustled with people and tourists even this time of year.

You picked out a few spots you wanted to come back and visit, making mental note to remember them. Restaurants, record stores, gift shops…everything you needed in one little place.

It had gotten fairly late, and after a tiny takeout dinner, you had retreated to the oversized couch to watch a movie as you both let the jet lag set in.

“So tomorrow. Your birthday. You pick what we do, the whole day.” Elle said as the two of you cuddled up under a blanket when the movie was over.

“The whole day?” You said, scratching your peach fuzz.

“Yep. Morning into night.”

You picked her legs up from the floor and brought them to rest in your lap, massaging her muscles. “Hmm, well I think we should start off taking a shower, and you can wash my hair with that smelly-good stuff you have…” you let your hand travel up her leg, fingers digging into her thigh.

“Then we can walk down to that Bread & Roses place and get coffee…then spend the day just exploring, maybe go out on the boat and see the humpbacks…” your hand ghosted over the hem of her sweatpants, fingers slipping in just barely as she let her eyes bore into yours.

“Mmmhm, then what?” She said.

“Then we can come back and get ready for dinner, you can put on that sexy black dress I saw you put in your suitcase…” your hand snuck below her waistline now, hand grazing over her heat. She smirked hard.

“You saw that, huh?” She asked, clicking her tongue. “That was supposed to be a surprise, Sammy.”

“It still will be, baby. You never cease to surprise me. So then we can go get some seafood, and drink too much wine…” you watched as she began to lose composure at your touch, as you slipped a digit between her folds.

“Way too much wine…” she breathed, arching her back just a little.

“Wayyy too much…” you agreed, allowing your hand to go to work as you maintained eye contact.

“Then we can cuddle up right back here again, and do this again…and again and again…” you slipped your middle finger inside her as her legs fell open under the blanket, and her jaw fell slack.

You sat still, half of you wanting to grab her and take her into the bedroom, the other half wanting to sit here and undo her, with her completely at your will.

You watched as her hands stayed under the blanket, gripping your thigh underneath you. Her face was contorting into beautiful and blissed-out expressions as you worked, hooking your finger slowly deep inside her. “Again and again?” She panted.

“Uh huh, as many times as you want…” you replied, moving your thumb to make tiny swirls on her sweet spot.

“How’s that feel, baby? Feel good?” You asked her, voice low and gravely against the sound of the rain picking back up again.

“Yeah, feels so good…” she moaned a high pitched sound, letting you know she was enjoying herself. “But Sammy, it’s your birthday. You should be the one getting all the special treatment.”

“Eh, yeah maybe. But watching you like this…it’s it’s own special kind.” You began moving your pace a bit faster, adding another finger inside her.

Her head tilted back as her hands gripped your leg harder, completely falling apart right here on your lap. She hummed and gasped for air, her knees opening and closing over and over.

"Sammy, please…keep goi-"

“We’ve got three whole days for you to treat me, baby. Right? You gonna do that for me later, too?”

She nodded hard as her hips began to grind up into your hand. “Of course I will baby. Whatever you want. It’s all yours...” She brought her eyes to yours again, giving you a look that came straight from another world. God this woman…

You brought your face closer to hers, gritting your teeth. “You know what I want right now, Eleanor…go ahead and give it to me…” you growled in her ear.

Seconds later she was coming undone at your words, riding out her high as you continued to move your hand in and out of her, mouthfuls of pitiful words falling from her lips. You swear you could never get enough of her like that, and you weren’t sure you would ever get tired of it. Even if you got nothing in return, just watching her fall apart at your mercy was enough.

“Fuck Sam, that was…a welcome surprise.” She laughed, letting her arm fall over her eyes. “I like the idea of us just doing that kind of thing over and over and over again..” She sat up a bit, wrapping her arms around your neck. “What time is it?”

You clicked your phone screen on the table. “11:49.”

“Close enough.” She popped out from under the blanket, and dashed into the bedroom and then into the kitchen. You heard the refrigerator door open and close, and a few seconds later she was coming back into the room with a plate, with a lit candle sticking out of something on the top.

“Happy birthday to Sammy, happy birthday toooooo Sammy…” she sang, a giant smile on her face as she held her hand in front of the flame while she walked. She set the plate down in front of you. “Make a wish, silly!” She beamed.

You smiled hard at her, rubbing your hands together as you closed your eyes, making a scene out of making your wish.

For the love of all that is holy, please let this discussion I’m about to have with Elle go smoothly, please don’t let her leave me, and please help her to know that she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me…

You opened your eyes, and blew out the candle. She clapped her hands and took the candle out, bringing the plate up in front of your face. You could hardly make out what it was in the dim light of the room.

“That smells amazing, what is that?” You asked.

“My granny’s old recipe for homemade cinnamon rolls!” She answered, running her finger along the top of it, taking some icing and licking it off.

“When did you make these?!” You asked.

“When you were out running errands the other day. Here, try some…” she handed you a fork and you both dug in.

“Holy shit, Elle. That’s the best fuckin thing I’ve ever eaten. Please marry me tomorrow.” You said with a full mouth.

She blushed hard. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!” She laughed, sitting back onto the couch and covering herself with the blanket. You placed the plate back on the table, and laid back with her.

You were trying your damnedest to find the right time to talk to her, tell her what you’d done. You knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, and you absolutely expected the worst. You deserved anything she threw your way, and you’d prepared yourself for her to pack her things and leave when you got back home.

But for right now, her yawns were becoming more and more frequent. And you decided it could wait until tomorrow. For now, you’d let yourself enjoy the peace of her presence, just for a little while longer.

“Happy birthday, Sammy.” She said as she gave you the sweetest look, adoration filling her to the brim. It hurt your heart, to know that tomorrow you’d probably be breaking hers.

——

The next morning you and Elle walked hand in hand along the beach, picking up shells as you sipped your coffees. It was chilly and breezy, and the beach wasn’t too crowded just yet. There was more rain in the forecast though, calling for heavy showers and colder temperatures all night.

“Oh my god babe, look!” You suddenly called out, picking a shell up from the sand and bringing it over to her. “It’s abalone! This is my favorite shell!”

You both examined it, cleaning off the bits of sand to let the iridescent rainbow colors shine through.

“Guidance.” Elle said.

“What?”

“These symbolize guidance, within like, relationships and love.” She went on, giving you a tiny sweet smile. “Are you looking for guidance with something, Sammy?”

Uh, fuck. Yeah, kinda. Wow.

You shrugged, gulping down a hard swallow. “Guess it’s always cool to have a little extra help from the…ocean, hah.”

Elle giggled. “So how does 23 feel?” She asked, pushing her heavy waves behind her ear. The oversized sweater she had on was draping over her shoulder, sitting perfectly on her tiny frame.

“Feels like 22 but cooler.” You answered, kicking through the icy water, sticking the abalone in your pocket. “How is 24?”

“It’s the best year I’ve had yet.” She smiled, always being the glass half-full type of person.

“It has been a good year, hasn’t it?” You answered. “Except for, well, our most recent bummer. Hopefully this doesn’t set the pace for the rest of tour…”

“I hope not.” Elle went on. “You wanna walk down to the pier and get a sandwich or something?”

The two of you made your way to get lunch, stopping at little gift shops along the way. You’d ended up underneath the pier after you ate, the air slowly getting cooler as a drizzle blew in. Elle was standing next to one of the pier beams, looking at all the clusters of barnacles stuck to the sides.

“Elle sells sea shellllls…” you sang as you approached her. “Ew, that’s gross. What are all these things?” You asked, flicking away at some of the crusty old growths.

“Don’t take them off! They’ll die if you remove them!” Elle swatted your hand away.

“Shit, my bad.” You hopped back, hands up in surrender.

“Look, babe…” she pulled her arm in front of her, gently grabbing a tiny shell from the cluster. “Ammonite…” she said, bringing it close to her face.

“Well great, now it’s gonna die!” You complained.

“No, this isn’t a barnacle, dummy. It’s an ammonite shell. Do you know how rare these are? And look, it’s opalized…” She said quietly, the wind blowing her hair in front of her face.

“No, I don’t guess… how do you know all this stuff?” You inquired, truly impressed that she did. “You didn’t even grow up near the ocean…”

“I know a lot of cool things, Sammy.” She said blankly, still closely inspecting the perfect spiral shell, in pure awe that she found it.

“Why don’t you keep it? I can make you a necklace or something out of it.” You suggested.

“Really? Can you?” She said, finally smiling.

“Sure. Couldn’t be too hard. Little dremel action. I’ll figure it out.” You promised her. You knew you’d give her anything in the world if it meant she’d give you that sweet smile again.

“I’ll wear it every single day. Never take it off.” She said, slipping it in her coat pocket for safe keeping.

“And what does the mighty ammonite shell symbolize, oh Wise Knower of All Things Ocean?” You teased.

She rolled her eyes and laughed again. “Change. Just, change.”

——

The rain was falling heavier now, as you and Elle munched on your seafood takeout, opting to stay in with your dinner and wine instead of going out. She’d set the table nicely, lit candles and transferred all the food from the to-go boxes onto nice plates. You cracked a few windows, letting the smell of the rain mixed with the ocean air blow in slightly through the house. You were nearing the bottom of your first bottle of Chardonnay, fully intending on starting the second bottle the minute it was empty.

“Babe, you didn’t have to put the sexy black dress on, I was just kidding.” You joked.

She scoffed. “Of course I did, it’s your birthday. Gotta wine you, dine you, and give you a show. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t?”

You giggled. “I’m also glad you got oysters. You know what they say abou-”

“Sam. We all know. You say it every single time we eat oysters…” she rolled her eyes as she sipped her wine.

“What? No I don’t, it’s true though…” you defended yourself.

“I know it is.” She sighed. “That’s why I ordered them.”

“That’s my girl…” you gave her a flirty and devilish laugh. “You’re already killing me in that dress, it’s…truly something. Hope these oysters work their fuckin’ magic…” you said.

She stood from the table, swishing her hips from side to side, knowing she was giving you a show. “All finished, Samuel?” She asked in a sultry voice as she leaned down low, putting her boobs in your face as she took your plate.

“Yes…all done…” you were quickly falling into her trap, getting more turned on with every passing second just by watching her.

“I’ll do the dishes later, we’ve got other things to attend to, hm?” She said, walking back over and straddling you in the chair. She brushed your hair back, hands wrapped around your face as she took you in. Finally she connected her lips to yours, brushing her wine-soaked tongue into your mouth. Her hands wrapped around your head and your neck as she started kissing you harder, giving you immediate indication of exactly what she wanted. God, you were already so turned on, but, you were also bursting at the seams to tell her. You had to talk to her, right now.

You pulled away quickly. “Stop. Elle, stop.”

“What, babe? What’s wrong?” She said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

You began to stand the two of you up, hand in hand, walking to the couch to grab the blanket and lead her into the sunroom. The wall was nothing but big windows, a perfect view of the now stormy waves blowing up onto the beach. There was another giant couch in here, plush and white and covered with pillows. You sat down, motioning for her to join you.

She sat, and you threw the big blanket across you again. “What is it, Sam? You’re scaring me. Is something wrong?”

“No. Well, yes. Yeah, actually.” You took a breath as you took her hands under the blanket, preparing yourself for the storm that was about to hit. The guilt was eating you alive.

“Elle, you know I love you more than anything, anything in the entire world, right?” You prefaced, looking her directly in the eyes.

“Yeah, I know. God Sam, what? What is it?” She asked, anxiety setting in.

“Just let me…” you huffed, running a hand over your face. “That night, in Vegas. I, uh. I did something really bad, Elle.” You felt a lump form in your throat, watching as her eyes filled with dread.

“After Jake left, and you got sick and went to sleep, um. Y/N and I went to smoke, and…things kind of…”

“No, Sam. No…don’t…” she said, letting go of your hands.

You stayed steadfast in your confession. “We hooked up, Elle. Behind your backs. I did it, and…I have no excuse at all. It just… happened. And we both had immediate, immediate regret. It was the most stupid decision I’ve ever made in my life, Elle. And I can never take it back. I will never forgive myself, ever. You don’t deserve that, you never did. And I put our relationship in jeopardy. After everything we built. And I’m so, so sorry baby.” You began to cry a little, seeing the look on her face. She stayed silent.

“I’m so sorry. I should have told you immediately after it happened. But I’m stupid, I guess. I don’t expect you to forgive me. Hell, ever. But I just… wanted to tell you. I couldn’t lie to you any more.” You bit your lips together as the tears fell. You felt relief, but not the good kind.

After a few seconds of hell, she finally spoke. “Does Jake know?”

You nodded. “Yeah, he knew the night it happened. I’m so sorry Elle. They both begged me to tell you, even threatened to do it themselves. But I made them promise me they wouldn’t. It had to come from me.”

"So you lied to me, all that time. All the times we had sex…you told me you loved me, you…” she shook her head, standing from the couch. “You lied to me, Sam. For a good while, why did you-"

“I’m so sorry Elle. Yes I did, I lied to you. And I…I don’t know why I did. I guess I just, everything with Jake happened so fast, and it was so scary, and I was in a weird headspace with that, and worrying about him. And then tour got postponed, I just– I should have told you. As soon as it happened. And I apologize for making that horrible decision. It was thoughtless, Elle. And you don’t deserve that. Neither does Jake.”

She shook her head, letting everything hit her as she sat back down on the other end of the couch. She wiped away a few stray tears. “I think I need a minute. Can you…”

“Yes. Whatever you need. Just, come back to me, soon. Please Elle. Please don’t leave.” You begged, walking slowly to her and holding out your hand. She didn’t grab it. She looked away, pulling a pillow from the stack and curling her body around it, looking out the windows as the rain pounded.

Fuck.

What now?

You retreated back into the kitchen, blowing out the candles and closing the windows. You kept your mind distracted and your hands occupied, cleaning up the table and doing the dishes. You cleaned the entire kitchen, wiped down the counters and even scrubbed the sink.

She just needs a minute. Just needs some time.

After you cleaned until there was not a thing out of place, you grabbed your acoustic from the case in the bedroom, sitting back on the couch in the living room to play a little, hoping it’d bring you some solace.

What came out first was the Age of Machine riff that you wrote so long ago, on a rainy day just like this one. You remembered the day you played it for Jake, thinking it was just going to be something he brushed off.

“Wait, wait…what was that? Do that again.”

“That’s fuckin' scary, Sam. God damn…let’s keep going with it.”

Your fingers plucked away as your mind raced over what had just happened. Was she crying? Should you go in there? Then it hit you, her favorite song.

You began to strum the first few chords of Anthem, hoping she’d hear and come back in and be ready to talk. You hummed along, remembering again when you all wrote it. How simple it was. No frills, nothing fancy. Just good guitar, simple percussion, and really powerful lyrics.

You played for a long while, moving then into something else entirely, big foreboding bellowing sounds then tight and cheery ones, letting the thoughts running through your mind come out through your hands. Darkness fell completely in the house, and you started to worry about Elle, and if she would ever come back.

“Sammy.” You finally heard. You popped up, turning around on the couch to face her.

She walked over slowly, eyes puffy and red and face swollen with tears. She sat carefully on the edge of the couch as you sat up, wanting nothing more than to console her.

“I was going to sleep with Jake that night.” She said finally.

“Uh, yeah? You…you were?” You were caught off guard, knowing that that night had gotten really wild really fast; you knew that while you were busy with Y/N, Jake and Elle were entertaining themselves. You remembered though, not harboring much feeling about it.

“Yes. We talked about it. We were going to…because we assumed you guys were going to, too. Well, at least I assumed…” she scooted a little closer to you as you listened. “Jake and I were…very close that night. And I even texted him and apologized for coming on too strong. But, then Josh called, and I got sick…”

“Yeah, yeah baby that’s exactly how it went. And that’s when I made my decision.” You answered.

“Sam, stop.” She shook her head. “I’m not mad at you, really. I’m… very disappointed. That you lied. Y/N too. My best friend, your best friend.” You nodded. “But that night was so crazy, so uninhibited, we were all, all over the place…I’m sure you were all surprised at me and Y/N taking things where we did, and that’s something else I never really talked to you about. We never…none of us ever talked it through. I guess I know why now…”

“Jake, was he…?” She asked.

“Pissed? Yeah, unbelievably so. Elle, they aren’t together anymore. They’ve been broken up for about a month. Well, since that night. They’ve been lying to us all to keep morale up, keep things normal. But, yeah. They broke up.” You explained.

“What?” She said. “No, fuck! God, Sam. What on earth…”

You nodded, feeling sad for them, too.

“When I texted Jake to apologize, he didn’t tell me that. He barely even remembered he and I being so…close. Sam, if things hadn’t gotten stopped, I was…” she caught her words, shaking her head as she tried to speak. “I was going to ask your permission. I was going to see if you were going to be with Y/N. Because I was going to be with Jake.”

Hm. Okay, well. This conversation wasn’t on your bingo card for the night of your 23rd birthday.

You leaned back on the couch. “What a fucked up situation.” You relented. “But, you aren’t mad at me? How is that even right, Elle? I cheated on you.”

“Yeah, you did. And fuck you for that, truly.”

Deserved that.

“Absolutely, yes. Keep cussing me out. Fight me, slap me if you want. Catch a plane and leave, go back home and pack your things, I get it. I deserve that, because I don’t deserve you, and your heart, Elle. Your big, beautiful, smart, intense and over caring heart. You’re a million times the person that I could even think about being. Just when I think I have shit figured out, you always come and knock me on my ass with something better. You make me want to be better, Elle. All the time.”

“When I’m challenged with something, anything at all, I literally ask myself, ‘What would Elle do?’ I swear to god I do that at least once a day. You inspire the ever living fuck out of me. You make me laugh, because you’re always so unapologetic about being your pure self. When you left, that first time, I swear I didn’t know how I was going to make it. You disappeared, and I was lost for so long, Elle. And when you came back, god, it was like I was whole again.”

You held your head in your hands, listening as a low roll of thunder rumbled in the distance. You thought about Y/N, and how for the longest time, both of them took up space in your mind. Your feelings for them were the same, in love with two people at once. But then, out of nowhere, it hit you.

You moved to Elle, taking her hands in yours. “When I picture my future, when I’m older and we slow down, or whatever. It’s always you there with me. It always has been. Watching Jake in that hospital bed, and watching him fight to breathe as they took him away, his face turning blue and purple as he reached for me, it kinda. Ah, it…” You felt tears beginning to come, now. You hadn’t told Elle about that yet. She squeezed your hands again as you pinched the bridge if your nose, pushing that visual away.

“I watched him go through something that I should have never seen, Elle. It kinda made me realize what’s important in life, cheesy as that sounds. And later he told me that he saw nothing but Y/N’s face as he was blacking out. It made me start thinking…” you were crying hard now. “If that were me, I would see your face. I’d want to see yours. The last person I’d think about, it would be you.”

She sighed deeply as she dried your tears. “Sammy, babe…”

“I love you, Elle. Way too much. So much that it scares me, sometimes. Because…I don’t know what to do with my emotions. You make me feel a way that I’ve never ever felt before. And it’s terrifying. And I run from it. I don’t know why, but I do. Maybe that’s why I made the decision that I did that night. Because I still didn’t want to admit it to myself.”

“Admit what, Sam?”

You took her chin in your hand, bringing your face close to hers.

“That I meant what I said when I was eating that cinnamon roll last night.” You said nervously, every nerve ending in your body on fire.

Finally, finally, she laughed. Rolled her body back on to the couch and laughed. In absolute stitches.

“I’m not marrying you tomorrow, Sam.”

You giggled at her display, feeling like three million pounds had been lifted from your body. You chased her, laying over top of her on the couch, bringing your faces close together as she brought you into her embrace.

“No, not tomorrow…”

——

The storm had intensified, thunder and lightning coming every minute now. You and Elle had spent the last half hour curled up with each other, doing nothing at all but being intimate. Talking, laughing, apologizing and explaining…you let more secrets be shared with her that night than you had ever shared with her before. You got down into the roots of some things, telling her detailed stories and experiences, and letting her know how much you cared for her.

It felt like you had reconnected with her on a cellular level, somehow, and you were thanking your lucky stars that she even was letting you sit with her. It was definitely not how you saw your night going when all of this began. Maybe blowing out that candle really worked.

“Can I kiss you, Elle?”

The very fiber of your being felt like it had been reset, all the reasons you loved her flowing back through your body like a flooding river. The way she kissed you back, the way she touched you, felt like the very first time. You didn’t deserve this…

“I’m nervous, for some reason…”

You picked her up and carried her slowly to the bedroom, never disconnecting from her lips the entire way. You laid her gently on the old mattress, the iron bed frame squeaking as she fell. She still had her black dress on; it accentuated her curves so perfectly and was cut right at her mid thigh…she slid one strap down, pulling it to sit low on her shoulder, before pulling the whole dress down and off, revealing her black lace set. She made intense eye contact with you, bringing her knees toward her chin as she reclined on her elbows.

“Stop giving me those eyes, Eleanor…you know I can’t say no when you do that…”

“Then don’t tell me no…”

You reached down and took your boxers off, letting them fall to the floor as you inched yourself toward her on the bed. You were positively dizzy, the feeling of her skin on yours igniting you into a fire that blazed differently than it ever had before. Her mouth connected to yours in such a way that felt like you were bonded together, feeling every tiny touch and movement as if it were magnified. You were still anxious, nervous for some reason. Like you were about to sleep with her for the very first time. But she comforted you, kissed your sweet spots, walked you through learning her body again.

“Don’t be nervous, Sammy. It’s just me…it’s okay…”

“I know, baby..but the way you touch me sometimes…god.. I swear I could love you all day, and all night for the next hundred years and I’d still never get tired of you…”

It was something brand new. She pushed you back into the pile of pillows, crawled over top of you and flipped herself around with her back to you as she straddled your lap. What a fucking view. She leaned down and connected her sweet mouth to you, licking and pulling and pushing, hands in a soft fury to prepare you for her. Your hands reached down and pulled at her hair, directing her throat to be just where you needed her without forcing her…in and out…her mouth was pure euphoria..hot and wet euphoria.

“You not gonna touch me, Sam?”

Her free hand reached back and ran a finger along the lace barely covering her ass, pulling it to one side as she invited you to touch her. You pulled it more to one side, and her back arched hard for you, revealing her dripping entrance as she continued to close her throat around you. You brought your hand to her, feeling her wetness soak your fingers. “Mmhm…” she hummed around you, causing your dick to jump in her mouth. “Keep feeling me Sam, keep touching me like that…”

The visual was insane, the lightning like camera flashes into the room, each time burning the erotic images into your mind. Your fingers were working her, deep and slow as she hummed her lips around you, bringing you closer and closer…you were sure you’d never felt her like this ever before.

“So gorgeous, my Eleanor…your mouth feels so fucking good baby…”

She arched more for you as her mouth popped hard off the top of your dick, the loss of contact almost bringing tears to your eyes. “Need you to fuck me into this mattress, Sam. Can you break my back, baby?”

You were putty. Melting and running all over the place. You pulled her back, disconnecting her mouth from you as you brought your tongue to her entrance, suddenly feeling the need to taste her. So fucking delicious. You let your tongue delve into her as far as it could go, reaching into her as she pushed herself backwards onto your face.

“Fuck, Sammy…yeah…”

She was whining as you ate her, flipping and flitting your tongue into her as the thunder rolled louder now. Right as you felt her body begin to shake, you repositioned yourself, standing high on your knees behind her as you pulled her panties to the side again, ripping them just a tad in the process. You teased her, the head of your dick begging to push all the way into her, fill her up with everything you had.

“Do it, Sammy please…I can’t wait any longer, fuck…”

She buried her head in the bed, her hands reaching into her hair to grasp it. “Huh uh, my job…” you fisted her hair, tightening it around your hand and pulling her head back slowly, but forcefully as you slowly entered her. Thick and sticky and so ready for you, she felt like heaven. Her sounds alone were enough to get you there, so you pulled back harder. “Arch it for me baby, I know you can do it…”

Her body was at an almost 90 degree angle as you fucked slowly and languidly into her, pushing as deeply as you could go, one hand tangled in her hair and the other pulling on her hip…giving you leverage to move her into just the right spot. She spread her legs a little, lowering herself into the bed a bit more, and allowing her to fuck back into you.

You both were moving slowly, her body dipping low with each thrust and meeting you perfectly as you hit her g spot. “Don’t fucking stop, Sam…right…fucking…there…” she was whining, mewling and purring sounds into the air.

“You want it harder, baby? Think you can take it?” You asked as she nodded. The thunder was clapping now as her asscheeks hit your thighs repeatedly, her muscles flowing like shockwaves with each hit.

You pulled yourself out, earning a groan of displease from her. Hand still tangled in her hair, you stood from the bed and pulled her along with you, walking her to the wall by the bed. You gently pushed her against it, letting her cheek fall flat against the white paint. You lifted her left leg up, hitching the back of her knee in the crease of your elbow.

“Spread for me, babe. There you go…”

And you entered her again, pushing her into the wall. She was considerably tighter like this, and the new position garnered you almost complete control. She was almost unable to move at all. But her sounds continued to fill the room…you knew she was loving it just as much as you were.

“I’m close, baby…almost there…” she said, breathless and sweaty as you fucked up into her.

“Hang on, go with me…I’m right there too…goddamn you’re so fucking tight…”

Your name poured from her mouth as you poured into her, bodies shaking together as you pressed your front against her, her forehead rolling against the sheetrock. When your head came back into one piece, and her body stopped jerking, you snuck your hand around in front of her, between her legs, finding her clit and immediately rubbing small circles.

You went insane on it, flicking it from side to side as you continued to press her into the wall, your still-hard dick resting comfortably inside her. Her cries sounded almost close to tears. You kissed the back of her neck, biting into it as you felt her writhing again.

It surprised her, the overstimulation making her shudder. Her body stiffened as you worked your middle finger over her already swollen bud, begging her to let go again. Her walls were still squeezing around you, still inside her. You almost felt like you could let go again, yourself.

“I know you’ve got another one in there, baby. Let me have it…give it to me again…”

Her hand reached behind her and grasped your shoulder, pulling your torso against her back, fingers digging into your shoulder muscle like she was holding on for dear life.

Within seconds she was soaking your dick all over again, her knees threatening to buckle as she doubled over. Her cries were almost pathetic, shrieking and breathless as she came again.

“There it is, just for me…so gorgeous Eleanor…” you growled into her ear.

When she finally came back to life, you pulled yourself out of her, but still kept a firm hold around her limp body, walking her carefully back over as you both crashed back onto the bed in pure exhaustion.

After a few minutes, she perked up lying on her elbow, looking at you with so much love in her eyes.

“What?” You asked, smirking as you rolled to rest on your elbow too.

“Do you really want what you asked me while you were eating the cinnamon roll?” She peeked through one eye. Her words made your stomach drop and your mouth go dry.

“Yeah, I do. One day, down the road. I can picture it…” you rolled over to your back, looking at the ceiling. “Three kids, maybe four. All really close in age, so they can grow up together like we did. I want to find a big house with a bunch of land, so I can have a massive garden. And a bunch of dogs. Giant kitchen with tons of windows…and all four of my pianos in different rooms. I’m gonna teach all the babies how to play every instrument that I can, whatever they want to learn. The house will be filled with music all the time. And I wanna write songs about them, and for them…that’s what I want.” You huffed a breath, looking back over to her.

“And you know what the best part will be?” You asked.

“Tell me.”

“That you’ll be making those cinnamon rolls for us every week…all the time…the kids will love them…” you brought yourself over to kiss her. “And they’ll love you… and I’ll love you…until we’re old and gray, baby. Until the day you tell me not to. I promise. I promise, I promise…”

—

JAKE POV

You hear her alarm go off on her phone, startling you from your sleep. Her face turned towards you as her own eyes fluttered open. She squeezed them back shut as she reached over to snooze her phone. You smile realizing it’s another morning you’ve woken up and she’s still in bed.

It’s warm under the sheets, you don’t blame her for not wanting to leave. If it were up to you the two of you would stay cocooned in the sheets all day. She throws her arm over her eyes blocking out the morning light, trying to get those five extra minutes. You lay there just looking at her, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she fights to get back to her dream.

Minutes later when her alarm sounds again, she rolls over towards it and groans, grabbing it from the charger and laying it on her chest.

You reach your hand out and place it on her arm, “You better get moving baby, Josh will be here soon.”

“I know, but I am so tired, we stayed up too late watching last night. I fell asleep in here, again.”

“We can take a break from watching if you want to.” you offer.

“No! I mean, we don’t have to. I just need to force myself out of here.” she giggles.

“Every night I ask you if you want me to take you back in there and you say no…You say you want to stay…” you goad.

“Ugh, I know Jake, sue me…” she says, tossing the blankets off of her, and standing from the bed.

“Don’t be like that…You know I don’t want you to anyways. Like waking up to your face.” you smile.

She steps into the bathroom and shuts the door; your signal to start the coffee before she has to leave. It had been several nights since the family dinner and each one of them was spent twisted together watching a TV show until the both of you fell asleep. At least that was your excuse for it.

As the coffee pot started to gurgle, you grabbed a to-go mug, and waited for the pot to finish brewing. You leaned against the counter, scrolling through your phone as she stepped into the kitchen. She was in a pair of crimson colored leggings, and had on a sports bra that matched. Her hair was in a high ponytail braid down her back, resting just at the criss crossed straps of her sports bra. Shit she looked practically edible.

She had your flannel tossed into the bag hanging from her shoulder, and her birkenstocks in her hands, dropping them to the floor to slide into them as she approached you.

“Again, is there any type of viewing package at the yoga place.” you said, pouring the coffee into the mug.

“No, Jacob…” she says, rolling her eyes and reaching out to grab the mug from your hands.

You look at her again, somewhat jealous that Josh gets to spend the morning with her, looking like that. Fucker.

“I will be back after, okay?” she said, spinning on her heels.

“Hey, wait…” you asked.

You swallowed nervously as you grabbed her free hand in yours, “You wanna go do something tonight?”

She furrowed her brow, “Like what?”

“Something fun, just us. Like we used to.” you offer, feeling your heart beat out of your chest.

“Oh, like a date?” she smiles.

“Do you want it to be a date?” you ask hopefully.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” she grins, squeezing your hand.

“Okay, yeah, then like a date.” you say, releasing her hand.

You see Josh’s car pull up through the front door window, and look back to her, “Your ride is here…Be careful okay, check your surroundings…all of that…”

“Okay, I will I promise and Josh is with me. But…I’m excited… for tonight.” she smiles walking down the hallway. You are right behind her, ready to close the door, but as she slips out she spins around and places a barely there kiss on your cheek. “See you later…”

You smile as you watch her ponytail swing as she jumps into the passenger seat of Josh’s car, waving through the window as they pull away.

—

You spend much of the morning racking your brain for ideas of what the two of you could do tonight. You’d never felt so much pressure planning a date before, but then you realized. It’s Y/N, she won’t care what you’re doing as long as it’s you she’s doing it with. You knew just what to do, and you knew she would love it.

You grab a quick shower and dig through your closet, looking for something to wear down to the studio. Today would be your first meeting back with the guys to start practicing for the South American leg of tour starting up. You were itching to get your hands back on your guitar, ready to turn the amps to one hundred and just rip for a few hours.

Shortly after 11:00 you heard the front door open, and heard her setting her things in the hallway, kicking off her shoes.

“Jake?” she called.

“Up here!” you called out to her from the music room, checking out the strings on your guitar.

You hear her climb up the steps and round the corner, still looking gorgeous as ever.

“I’m back…” she giggled.

“I see that.” you smile, twisting the knob on the headstock.

“You excited to go play today?” she asked, leaning against the wall.

“Hell yeah, but you know what?” you asked.

“What?”

“I’m more excited for after…” you smiled.

“Yeah? What should I wear on my date with Mr. Jacob Kiszka this evening?” she smiles.

“Mmm…” you hum, rubbing your lips, “A dress. But bring a sweater or something.” you answer.

“I think I can work with those requirements… I’m gonna go take a shower, but, have fun today and don’t over do it, okay?” she pleads.

“I won’t, I won’t, promise.” you answer, sliding your guitar back into the case, and locking it.

“I’ll see you tonight?” she asks.

“Not soon enough.” you smile, watching her blush and run down the stairs.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket and as you pull it out you see a familiar name cross the screen.

misscarsonneely: Guitar question? I’m sure you’re never going to see this.

You smirk, it is a miracle you saw it.

You: I probably have an answer…

misscarsonneely: Wow, I can’t believe you saw this. Okay, so I have been feeling a little inspired lately and decided to put those new strings to use, but when I play it sounds…bad? Like off kind of? Maybe I just suck? Lol.

You smile and laugh, knowing exactly what the problem is.

You: I usually never check my messages to be honest, surprised I saw it too. How about you text me instead. I’ll get you fixed up.

You send her your number and wait for her message to come through, adding the new contact to your phone.

Carson

11:23pm: Have I reached the guitar guru hotline?

You

11:24pm: You have. So I think what you are describing is it being out of tune which happens sometimes when you put higher tension strings on. Could you maybe send me a video so I can be sure?

Carson

11:28pm: Do NOT laugh at me, it is the only song I know.

11:28pm: *Attachment*

You open the video and let it play, stifling back the laugh that escapes you when you hear ‘Cheeseburger in Paradise’ ringing out terribly through the speaker.

You

11:30pm: Okay, yes. So the strings I put on your guitar are all I had to choose from, and they are high gauge and high tension so they are putting your guitar under a little more stress than it's used to, so it is spinning the knobs itself to release that tension and its causing your guitar to lose its tuning. It’s probably going to do that a few times until the strings are settled, so just re-tune your guitar and you should be set. Well, until next time. ;)

Carson

11:32pm: I swear I’m not an idiot. I really did tune it yesterday and it sounded fine so when I picked it up today and it sounded like that I never thought that maybe it was just out of tune. God I’m sorry I bothered you with that.

You

11:35pm: No, I know you’re not. You just aren’t used to those type of strings. Asked Sam to grab some to give to Josh, and that's probably all I had in my kit.

Carson

11:36pm: And I appreciate it soo much. Thank you again for doing that.

You

11:37pm: My pleasure Miss Carson, let me know if you need help with anything else.

Carson

11:38pm: Thanks Jake. Promise I won’t bug you with more stupid questions. Lol

You

11:39pm: I can assure you you’re not bugging me. Not in the slightest.

Carson

11:40pm: Good to know ;)

You stare at the message for a bit before locking your phone and shoving it into your pocket. You grab your guitar case and make your way downstairs, grabbing your keys and heading out the door, set for the studio feeling happier than you had in weeks.

—

It felt good to be back to it. God it felt good. But it felt even better knowing you’d be back on the road soon. As much as you were enjoying your time at home with Y/N you craved to be out seeing the world. And it was even better when she was there with you.

You started small, playing through a few songs, working your stamina back up to what it was. You had another week or two before you left for South America and you were convinced that if you just came in and did a little bit everyday, you would be back to where you were. Almost like muscle memory.

After a particularly long jam session you checked your phone seeing that it was damn near time to leave to make it home in time to get ready for your date.

You slung your guitar strap over your head and turned off your amp, unplugging the pick up and beginning to pack up your things.

“Damn Jake, what lit a fire under your ass?” Sam asked.

“I gotta get out of here. Have plans tonight.” You replied flicking your glasses down over your eyes.

“With who…” Danny winked.

“Your motha…” you said in your best British accent.

“Good. Go. In fact what the fuck is taking you so long? Get outta here…” Josh said, shooing you out the door.

You turned to the guys and offered them a quick wave as you stepped out the door ready to wine and dine your favorite girl.

—

You stepped into the front door and deposited your guitar case against the wall, calling her name through the echoey house.

When you heard no answer you called out again, “Y/N? Where are you my love?”

“Jake?” She said, stepping out into the hallway as she fastened her earring. You nearly stopped breathing at the sight of her.

“Sorry babe, didn’t hear you come in!” She smiled walking over towards you.

“Is this okay?”’she asks, running her hands over her navy blue dress nervously before looking up at you.

“Everyday I think there’s no way you could possibly be more beautiful and everyday I wake up to just that. You look gorgeous.” You say, seeing the blush creep across her face.

“Jake…” she whines.

“It’s true. I’m going to change clothes and then I will be ready to go, okay? Why don’t you have a glass of wine and I’ll be out in a minute.” You say.

She nods and flits off to the kitchen as you turn on your heels heading for the bedroom. You had stewed over what to wear for your date all morning, finally deciding on a pair of pinstripe slacks and a black button up. You knew she liked it, and she was always particularly handsy when it came to you leaving your shirts open, so it seemed like the natural choice.

You kick off your jeans and your t-shirt and throw them in the hamper, hearing a knock on the closet door. You spin around and see her standing with a wine glass extended towards you.

“Can’t drink alone…” she coos.

You take the glass and laugh, “You’re not supposed to see me like this until after, baby….”

A short and sweet ‘hm’ leaves her lips as she spins away to let you finish dressing. You sip the red wine and feel your insides warm as you fasten the bottom buttons of your shirt. You slide on your slacks and a pair of loafers before picking a necklace from your wall.

You give yourself a once over in the mirror and step into the bathroom to spritz yourself with cologne, taking a deep breath and tossing back the rest of the glass of wine.

She’s sitting on the couch in the study, lazily scrolling through her phone as she sees you step out. Her eyes scan over you top to bottom lighting your chest on fire. Her gaze grows dark and she bites her lips together stifling back the words that want to escape.

Reaching a hand towards her, you ask, “Ready my love?”

—

“Two for Jacob…” you said to the hostess. She grabbed two menus and guided the two of you to a small candle lit table in the corner of the restaurant.

You pulled her chair out for her, letting her sit before pushing her in. You took the chair across from her, laying your napkin across your lap as she perused the drink menu.

“Can’t believe you got us a reservation here last minute… you know this is my favorite place in the city.” She smiled shyly.

“I know it’s your favorite and when I called earlier to see if they had any availability tonight I wasn’t hopeful but by some stroke of luck…” you trailed off. “Anyways, I’m happy they got us in. Fate I guess.” you smiled.

“Thank you, Jake… for doing all of this. For planning this and asking me…” She said.

“Of course baby, wish we could go out more. But I was thinking, how about when we are out on the road, you and I sneak off and find somewhere cool to eat in the long stop cities. Just us. Keep working on us…” you say, reaching for her hand. She laces her fingers with yours and you smile feeling her hand in yours.

She nods her head excitedly, rubbing her thumb over yours.

“Okay good. Can’t imagine being on the road without you, you know. Want to see the world with you.” you admit, seeing her eyes grow teary.

“Me too, Jake.”

A few minutes later the waiter arrived to take your drink orders, both of you opting for specialty cocktails, sure to have both of you feeling more relaxed in a matter of minutes.

As they arrived you tapped your glass to hers, “To our first date…” you smirked.

“And hopefully not the last…” she replied with a playful smile.

You both sipped your drinks, carrying on normal conversation and talking about all the cities you’d be traveling to in the upcoming months. You both ordered your food, and as you waited you checked the time on your phone to make sure you were still looking good.

“Have a hot date?” she asked with a smirk.

“Sure fuckin’ do…” you grin, “I was just making sure we’re good on time. Our next activity starts at a very specific time…”

“Oh, we are doing something else?” she asks.

“Yep, this is going to be a proper first date. When we are done here I am taking your to the movies, where I am going to spend half of it working up the courage to hold your hand.” you say.

“Oh gosh, well I will make sure I position my hand on the armrest just right to make it not look super obvious that I want you to.” she laughs.

“Can’t wait.” you smile.

“What movie are we seeing?” she asks.

“Well, that was the hard part. There were hardly any options. We have tickets for The Northman. I know it’s not really your thing but we can pick another if you don’t want to see that.” you offer.

“Jake…Do you think we’ve been watching The X-Files every night because I am really into alien mystery shows?” she asks.

“Um…” you hum.

“We could be watching Antiques Roadshow and I wouldn’t miss a single night…” she says.

“And why’s that Y/N…” you coax.

“You know why.” she smiles shyly.

“Tell me, I want to hear you say it.

“Because I just want to be there with you. Lay with you…Want to feel you run your fingers over my arms, and hear your laugh, and feel you twirl my hair between your fingers and kiss my head when you think I’m asleep.”

“So you aren’t leaving on purpose.” you smile.

“Absolutely on purpose.” she smiles.

“So don’t.” you reply, locking eyes with her across the table.

You feel her foot brush your leg and you swallow back the overwhelming urge to kiss her, and thankfully the waiter arrives with your food, putting a stop to your sudden urge.

The two of you continue to talk as you enjoy your food, downing another drink and sharing a few more laughs. You check your phone again, and see that you are right on time, as long as the bill comes in the next few minutes.

With the sign of your name on the line and the toss of a few bills on the table you are walking hand in hand down the sidewalk towards the movie theater, buzzing from the alcohol flowing through your body.

“Does my date require any concessions?” you ask, playfully.

“No your date is miserably full from dinner, but if you want something you should get it! I can’t even remember the last time you went to the movies.” she says.

“I can’t remember the last time I went either…” you say rubbing your lips. “Come on, let's go find some good seats.” you say, clasping her hand in yours as you step into the musky smelling theater, ready to hold her hand for the next two hours straight.

—

Obviously, the two of you rushed to the very top row of seats in the theater against the wall, any other seats simply not making any sense. You took the seat to her left, removing your jacket and setting it in the seat beside you. The advertisements before the previews began rolling, and your heart rate began to pick up. Why did you feel like you were 14 again, on a date with a girl you’d had a crush on for two whole weeks?

The two of you shared a few glances, her hands folded and rested comfortably under her chin as her elbows balanced on the armrests. Suddenly the lights went down, and the previews started. The quick heart rate from earlier got even worse. You didn’t know if it was the nerves from being on a real actual date with her again, or the fact that you were so starved for her touch after the week you’d had, but you found your insides rolling around on themselves with want for her. Her touch, any kind.

You looked at her with your peripheral, the light from the screen bouncing off her face. She smirked a little, feeling your eyes on her. You made it through the five or six new movie previews, but you couldn’t name one. All you could think about was the gorgeous girl to your right, shoulder to shoulder with you.

Finally the lights went down even more, and you noticed that the only other people that had made it into the theater was another couple around your age, who had chosen to sit down in almost the front row. A theater almost to yourselves.

The opening credits began, the loud music rattling the walls and chairs. You felt your palms begin to sweat with nerves, so you wiped them across the thighs of your pants, and rested your elbows on the armrests, jokingly fighting Y/N to claim the spot. You heard her laugh through her nose, moving her elbow around to make room for you.

“You know, if you wanted the arm rest all you had to do was ask.” She whispered, bringing her mouth to your ear. Instant chills. “And if you want to hold my hand, all you have to do is grab it.”

She pulled back, turning her attention back to the movie. Deep breath, it’s just Y/N.

You held your hand out, palm up, and she happily laid hers in it, interlacing your fingers with hers and squeezing tightly. Okay, good. Okay.

You looked to her, smiling ear to ear. The feeling of holding her hand was sending bolts of electricity straight up your arm, and you began rubbing your thumb across her knuckles.

The movie went on, you only paying half-attention to it. In an act of confidence, you brought her hand to your lips, lying a long and sweet kiss to her palm. She started gushing, shying away and giving you a smile so sweet you felt like melting. She then repeated your action, kissing each of your fingertips and then your palm, her mouth parted and half open as she slowly laid kisses all over your scarred hand, like she remembered where she pulled each and every shard of glass out all those years ago.

Then, she did something that caught you so completely off guard that you felt your head spin. She brought your pointer finger slowly into her mouth, running her tongue along it, closing her lips tightly around it, and lightly biting the tip…shit. You exhaled, getting so extremely turned on from such a simple act. Then, she switched your fingers, stretching it all the way to the back of her throat.

Fuck.

When she finally removed it, you were writhing in your seat. She turned back to the movie like nothing had ever happened. Your heart was beating in your ears as you decided to meet her energy, snaking your hand down to her thigh, letting it slip underneath her dress, and grip the tender part of her muscle. You watched as she scooted forward just a bit in her seat, obviously enjoying this game so far. You took it further, letting your hand travel higher and higher until your fingers were ghosting the fabric of her thong.

The next thing you knew, her hand was mirroring yours, traveling with a tight grip up the inside of your thigh. Shit shit shit. She didn’t slow down, she didn’t shy away. Her hand lightly grazed your bulge, before completely gripping it in her hand. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking directly at her, but the expression on her face was begging you to touch her more.

You let your hand go up further, touching her through her panties. You held eye contact as you both touched each other, driving the other absolutely insane. You were hoping and praying that she would move to unbuckle your belt, and like she was reading your mind, she did.

Your free hand moved to help her, your chest already heaving. She kept her eyes trained on the movie while you maneuvered your belt and zipper, and when you got everything unlatched, her finger tips sunk below the waistline of your boxers, pulling them out so she could reach her hand all the way in.

Fuck what is happening shit shit…

You felt your already damaged lungs lose every bit of air at her touch, her hand gripping your dick and squeezing it, moving her hand as much as she could with it still tucked away in your boxers.

You gathered your thoughts quickly…two can play this game, baby. You let your left hand pull her thong to the side, wasting no time in going straight for the place you knew would drive her wild. God, she felt so perfect. You’d almost forgotten…her hand on you mixed with the feeling of her on your fingers was making your vision blur. She scooted down in the seat a bit more, giving you more space to feel her completely. Should you…?

Just then, the door to the theater slammed, and in walked another couple, coming up the stairs and taking their seats near the middle of the theater. You closed your eyes, sighing a frustrated huff while you glanced to Y/N, her opposite hand covering her mouth.

She started to giggle. She removed her hand slowly, and you did the same. She was trying hard not to laugh out loud, holding her nose closed as she caught her breath.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” You whispered, readjusting yourself in your slacks.

“We’re acting like a couple of horny teenagers feeling each other up in a damn movie theater, and we almost got caught. It’s just funny, okay?” She laughed again through her strangled whispers, causing you to feel a chuckle leave your chest. It was kind of funny.

After you calmed down a little, you leaned in close to her ear, sharing the armrest now. “Doesn’t change the fact that even though I’m not a teenager, I’m still extremely fuckin’ turned on right now and I want to leave this movie as soon as humanly possible.”

She took a deep breath, teeth gritted tightly as she watched the screen. “Let’s go.”

——

You both made a mad dash out of the theater and toward the car, the brisk night air bringing you back to reality for the time being. What the hell just happened in there? As you made your way through the parking lot digging for your keys in your pocket, Y/N rushed up beside you, taking your hand in hers as you walked. Oh.

You gave her a knowing glance, and she gave you a glare that could’ve killed you. She really wants this to keep going…get it together Jake.

You both hopped in the car, and you started up the engine, backing out of the parking space. When you got on the road, you cleared your throat. Neither of you had said a word since you left the theater, and frankly, you had no idea what to say. All you knew was that you were absolutely starving for her, and the tension between you was so thick you could almost see it. Was this really happening? It’s been over a month…

You let your left hand drape across the steering wheel and your right balance on the console, nervously running your fingers over your lips.

“Are you anxious, Jake?” She finally broke the silence.

Uhhhh…

You cleared your throat once again, feeling the threat of a tiny cough tickle your throat, still not completely rid of your illness. “Yeah,” your voice cracked. “Yeah not gonna lie, Y/N, kinda anxious.” You told her truthfully.

“Me too.” She said meekly, sinking into the chair.

You reached your hand out for her again like you had in the theater, letting her grasp your fingers with hers. Still feels so perfect.

“Do you wanna go home? Or…” you asked, making sure she had the same thoughts as you.

“Yeah. Let’s go home.” She said.

“What uh, what about the rules?” You asked her.

“Well, we didn’t break rule #1, and we kinda broke rule #2…”

“We broke the fuck out of rule #2, babe.” You laughed.

“Yeah, well. I guess, since we never um. Stated a rule #4, it doesn’t really, technically exist, right?” She offered.

Holy fucking shit she wants to do it.

“Yeah I…I don’t remember us saying that one was in the book, do you?” You replied nervously.

She shook her head from side to side. “Won’t change anything though… We’re still, not…”

You nodded. “Right. Yes. Won’t change anything at all. Still very much…not together.”

“Right. Not together.” she said, looking at you longingly.

You brought her hand to your mouth again, this time not letting it leave your lips until you were pulling down your street.

——

HER POV

Did he really want to do this? Should you do this? As the car pulled up to the house he put it in park and shut off the engine, as he turned to look at you. Your hands were still clasped together but now rested on your lap. Your brain started to swirl with panic. Would this undo everything?

“Jake, I’m sorry I did that in the movie theater. I shouldn’t have.” you said quietly.

“No, I… It’s okay. I liked it…I’ve…missed your touch.” he replies.

“You have…” you question.

“Are you kidding me? Yeah baby…” he scoffs. “Come on, let’s go inside…”

You nod and open your door, stepping out onto the sidewalk as he rounds the front of the car to meet you. Your brain was still rushing with want but you knew in your heart that you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t be with him like that until the two of you were back together. Right?

“I can see you overthinking it.” he smirks, unlocking the front door.

“I’m not…I’m just…I’m scared it will undo all the progress we’ve made. That part of our relationship was always solid. I’m just scared we will fall back into how things were…” you explain.

“And what’s wrong with that?” he says, stepping inside and tossing his keys on the table.

“I was a terrible person. Partner…I just want to be what you need in a partner and back then, I wasn’t. You deserve better Jake.” you say.

He steps up to you and grabs your arms looking into your eyes, “I can assure you that you are everything I need. Everything I deserve. Everything I want. If you want to wait, it’ll fuckin’ kill me, but I will wait. I will always wait for you, Y/N. Okay?”

He slides his hand down your arms and twists his fingers with yours.

“Are you sure you aren’t mad Jake? I feel like I just teased you so bad, and you planned the most perfect date and now I am leaving you high and dry…We shouldn’t have taken it that far…” you say.

“Baby this was never part of the plan. I never expected anything. I just wanted to take you out, have a little bit of fun outside of the house. Everything else was just extra. And honestly just feeling your hand on me even if just for a minute was enough.” he pauses. “I mean I guess I was kind of expecting a kiss at the end of the date…” he says playfully.

“So walk me to my door and maybe you’ll get it…” you tease.

He releases one of your hands as he walks you to the guest room door pausing as you turn to face him, “Thank you for the date. It was so much fun…I hope we can have another one day…” you taunt.

“Mmm it’s looking pretty good so far…” he smirks, leaning his head towards you placing his hand on your cheek as he presses his lips to yours. You wind your hands around his waist and pull him closer to you. He pulls your bottom lip between his, sucking at it gently as his tongue swipes over it. You open your mouth just slightly to let him in, a gentle whine leaving your mouth.

“Mmm fuck…” he growls as he pulls away. “We have to stop. I want you so bad. I’m sorry Y/N. Anyways, thanks for coming with me tonight. I hope you… sleep well…” he says, stepping back from the doorway.

You twist the door knob and step inside, “You too…” you breathe, your head still rushing with want.

You close the door softly and stand there, heart pounding as you think about his mouth on yours, his lips, his hands on your skin. Your body fills with goosebumps and your breath catches in your throat. Next thing you know your hand is reaching for the door knob throwing it open ready to run straight to his room, but as the door flies open he's there, leaning against the wall.

“Jake…” you breathe.

“Baby…” he replies, pulling you into him.

Your mouths reunite once again but this time it's faster, more frenzied. Both of you positively dripping with need for the other. You tangle both of your hands into the hair at the base of his head as your lips fight to kiss every inch of his. His hands reach down and cradle your thighs, pulling you up to wrap your legs around his waist as he walks both of you as quickly as he can towards his bedroom.

Your lips never part from him, kissing his jaw, his neck, fuck… anywhere you can reach. He kicks open the door walking straight to the bed and dropping you onto your back into the fluffy duvet.

He steps back from you, unbuttoning the last buttons of his shirt and throwing it to the floor. He kicks off his pants and rejoins you on the bed, hovering over top of you as his lips connect to the skin of your neck. He brings one of his hands to your chest, grabbing your tits as frantically as he can. His fingers hook into the strap of your dress, sliding the fabric down your shoulder to reveal your bare chest.

“Goddamnit Y/N…” he breathes.

You squirm underneath him, desperate to feel his lips on your skin again.

“Tell me you’re sure.” he demands.

“I’m sure! I’m sure! Please!” you beg.

He pulls your dress the rest of the way off of your body, leaving you both in just your underwear. He studies you, his eyes running over every inch of your body like it’s the first time he’s seen it. Your eyes flick to his nervously as his gaze grows darker.

He runs his hand down your chest, and over your stomach, letting his fingers graze your heat as he swipes them down your legs. Your hips buck up into his feeling his hardened length brush your skin.

He sees the look in your eye when you feel it, a smirk pulling up the corner of his mouth. “Every fuckin’ day. Every day I have to fight that off. I’m not gonna fight it anymore baby.”

“Please Jake…” you beg.

His fingers hook into the lace of your thong all but ripping it from your body as he uses his knee to spread your legs. You’re breathing heavily, your chest rising and falling quickly as you wait for his touch.

“Where was I…” he said, swiping a finger through your wetness.

“Somewhere like here…” he said, pushing two fingers inside of you, causing your back to arch up off the bed.

“Yeah, yeah. Right there, huh baby…” he growled.

His free hand comes up to twist one of your nipples between his fingers, a whine leaving your lips at the sensation. “You always have made the prettiest sounds.”

He hooks his fingers up into you, as he lowers his lips to your other nipple, sucking it into his mouth and biting gently.

“Jake…” you moan.

He releases his mouth from you, continuing to pump his fingers in and out, “Yeah baby?”

“I can’t wait. Please. Just…please.” you beg, reaching to pull his boxers down.

He pulls his fingers from you and pushes his boxers the rest of the way off, kicking them to the floor to join the rest of your clothes.

Your eyes travel down his torso to his dick, before you flick your eyes back up to his.

He snaps his fingers and points to the top of the bed, “Get in the middle.”

You quickly move yourself backwards as he crawls onto the bed between your legs. He bends down, licking a hot stripe up your center, as you sigh into the air.

His left hand comes up to rest next to your head as his right grips his length and drags his tip through your folds.

“Jesus Christ Y/N, I swear to god I’m not going to last five seconds.” he pants.

“If we’re going to break the rules, we are going to fucking break them.” you breathe.

With a grunt he presses inside you and a whine rips from your chest at the feeling. He is breathing heavy over top of you, trying to keep his composure as your insides adjust around him.

“Fuck me, you are so tight. Feels like the fucking first time I felt you around me…” he pulls his hips back to try to start moving, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lets out a breath.

“Shit, yeah I need a second.” he pleads.

“Jake, I need you to move. I need you to fuck me right this second.” you beg.

He swallows harshly and pulls back, before pressing into you again with a deep groan. You can see him fighting it, he wants to give you what you want. He wants this to last the rest of the night. You can feel every sweet inch of him as he moves inside of you, your walls clenching around him with every thrust.

“Jake…fuck…fuck I missed you. I…” you breathe, digging your nails into his back.

He attaches his lips to yours, licking into your mouth as he starts to move quicker, hitting your sweet spot with every stroke.

He lowers his lips to your ear, whispering into it as he works both of you towards release.

“You feel so fuckin’ good baby. My gorgeous fuckin’ girl…” he growls.

He starts to roll his hips, causing his tip to slide against your g-spot in slow meticulous strokes as he presses his hand to your pelvis to increase the pressure. You cry out in bliss as the sensation takes over your body.

“Feel good? Feel good when I fuck you like that? Been thinkin’ about it for weeks. The things I was going to do to you when I finally got you back…Better than I imagined baby. You always are…” he whispers.

He pulls out all the way, grabbing your knee and hooking it up over his hip as he presses all the way in to be fully seated inside of you. You clench down around him, and his eyes shoot open to lock with yours.

“I can’t hold it…” he breathes.

“Don’t…” you pant.

“Want you to cum with me.” he begs.

“I’m there… just keep going…” you answer.

He brings his thumb to his mouth, licking it before pressing it to your clit making rapid circles. You arch up into his touch, and whine.

“Yeah just like that love, you’re so close. My good girl, let me have it. Let me fill you. Can I do that? Can I fill my girl?” he coaxes.

“Please Jake! Fuck!” you cry, a tear springing from your eye.

“Now baby, right fuckin’ now!” he says, grabbing your hips and pulling you impossibly closer to him as his cock jerks violently inside of you. You feel the fire blaze through your chest as your release washes over the both of you, completely tearing your consciousness apart. He grunts your name as his warmth fills you, the room filled with breathy moans and whimpers.

He releases his grip on your hips trying to slowly pull himself out of you without making a huge mess, but as he pulls out, it spills out of you and onto your legs. He groans as he watches, his eyes flicking to yours, which you’re sure are completely blissed out.

He brings himself to lay on top of you, pressing his lips to yours over and over, until you’re both giggling and smiling.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t go longer. I…It’s been a month without you…” he says, rolling off of you and onto his side.

“Jake…I was barely holding on too. But…” you pause.

“But what…” he asks, running his finger down your sternum.

“But I want more.” you whisper.

“Oh thank god…” he says, turning your body onto your side, and pulling you into him. He lifts your leg and positions himself at your entrance, slowly pushing inside of you.

“I don’t know if I will ever get enough of you Y/N…” he whispers into your ear.

His hand reaches around to the front of you swirling his fingers over your clit as you arch into him.

“Oh fuck stay like that, keep your back arched like that, holy fuck…” he begs slowly thrusting in and out of you. He continues to whisper sweet praises into your ear as his hand travels over your body so softly, so gently.

His hand comes back up to wrap around your front holding you tightly to his chest. Suddenly you feel the air between you shift, this is no longer frenzied and furious sex, no, somewhere it shifted into slow and tender love making. There were no more harsh movements, there were no more dirty phrases. It was just you and him. The both of you showing each other you’re still here. You’re both still in there, loving each other, through it all.

He pulls out of you and you spin to face him, near tears as he presses his lips to yours in a kiss you know is laced with love and adoration. He pulls your hips towards him, as you part your legs to let him back in. He presses into you until he is fully seated and breathing in deeply the scent of the two of you together.

You wrap your arms around his neck as he slowly pushes and pulls in and out, his eyes never leaving yours once.

“Remember, that night in the hotel room, I told you to stop telling me you loved me.” he says, continuing to move.

“Yeah…” you breathe.

“Please don’t…” he begs.

You press your lips to his, your tongues tangling together as he moves inside of you.

“Why did you say it?” you ask.

“Because it was killing me that I couldn’t say it back…I never stopped loving you.” he answered, starting to pant.

“I found out right after that, what I did. Crawled into bed with you. Just wanted to be close to you. Had to tell you I loved you too. Couldn’t breathe until I said it. You didn’t hear it, but…” he continued.

“You do?” you ask.

He grabs you and rolls to his back, bringing you to sit on top of him. You spin around to face him, repositioning yourself on top of him, as you begin to roll your hips slowly.

“Y/N there is nothing in the world that you could ever do that would keep me from loving you.” he answers.

You lift off of him before dropping back down, repeating the motion until the both of you are crumbling closer to your second orgasm.

His hands guided your hips, as he talked you through it, his touch tender and loving as he spilled into you for the second time. You rolled off of him and into the bathroom to clean up, opting for a quick rinse in the shower before you both returned to the bed.

You helped him change the sheets and he disappeared down the hallway, returning with your pillow and your cell phone.

You pulled on one of his t-shirts and a clean pair of underwear before you slid into the bed next to him and cuddled into his side.

“Hey baby?” you asked, into the dark room.

“Yes?”

You rolled closer to him and looked up towards him, “What do you want to do for your birthday?”

“Hmmm…That…” he giggles.

You dig a finger into his ribs, “No seriously…”

“I am being serious.” he laughs again.

“Jacob…” you warn.

“I don’t know. I just want to spend the day with you…See Josh, and the guys…nothing fancy. Just want to do this. This feels good. Makes me happy.” he answers.

“Okay, okay…” you say, pressing a kiss to his bare chest.

“Are you excited to go to South America in a few days?” he asks.

“I am excited, I have always wanted to go to Brazil.” you answer.

“I can’t wait to take you, it's so beautiful there. There are so many cool places to eat and things to see…” he gushes, “...and to spend every night just like this…”

“Jake… we… won’t spend every night just like this though…” you say.

“What do you mean…” he asks, turning towards you.

“We…we’re in separate rooms, remember?” you remind him.

“No…cancel it, change it, or whatever…You sleep with me damn near every night Y/N…I’ve kind of grown partial to it…”

“I know baby, but this is part of that growing up thing I am working on. I think we need to stay separate while we are on tour. At least while we aren’t together…”

“I don’t want to be separate. I want to go out, play our shows, eat good food, and make love to my girl every night.” he says.

“Jake, we can’t do that either…” you say nervously.

“What so this was just…Just a one time thing?” he asks, stopping the hand that's been rubbing your arm.

“No…I don’t know, I don’t know what we are supposed to do but I feel like we need to limit it as much as possible. I know it will be hard but we have to… try.”

He lets out a sigh, “Okay, well, if that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”

“It’s not what I want Jake, but it’s what we need, as a couple. To keep rebuilding our relationship, without using sex as a buffer.” you say.

“I know. I just, need you…sometimes.” he admits.

“I know babe, me too. And I think sometimes is…fine. We just need to wait until neither of us can take it anymore and then…” you pause. “Think about how good it felt just now…”

“Fucking perfect.” he answers.

“Exactly, and I feel like emotionally our relationship is getting so much better. If we can just keep… doing what we’re doing…I think we can be together again and I can be the person I want to be for you.” you say.

He pulls you into his chest and kisses your head, “I know baby. I want you to be happy. I’m so glad you are still coming with us. With me. Still want to go eat at cool places with you. We can do that, right?”

“Yeah babe, we can do that.” you say reaching up and pressing a kiss to his lips. “And for the record I am fully intending on sleeping just like this all night long.” you say wrapping your arm around his waist and nuzzling your face into his neck.

“I’d be sad if you didn’t.” he says, wrapping his arms around you.

You both start to drift off, your mind swirling with thoughts of Jake and Brazil, when your phone chimes on your nightstand. Your eyes pop open and you roll over to grab it, squinting as you read the name.

Elle

11:47pm: We need to talk.

You lock your phone and set it on the nightstand, swallowing nervously as you return back to Jake.

“Who was it baby?” he asks, voice groggy and still half asleep.

“It was Elle. She wants to talk…”

—

The next morning you woke up almost exactly how you’d fallen asleep, tied and twisted with Jake, your limbs sweaty underneath the heavy covers. The memories of the night before came swirling back as the muscles of your insides began to throb. It really had been a while. But you welcomed the uncomfortable sensation, truly being thankful you could fulfill your human needs so effortlessly with him.

His hair was overtop of your face, just where you liked it. He stirred beside you, flipping his face to the other side, taking his locks with him. Then he propped up on his elbows, rubbing his face before looking at you with the sweetest smile.

“Mornin' sunshine.” You said, taking in the sight of him grinning with all his teeth. “You look like you got laid last night.”

“I’m on cloud fuckin’ 9, baby.” He giggled shyly, rolling himself to you and placing his elbows on either side of your head. “Actually got to sleep with the hottest girl I’ve ever seen last night.” He went on, laying sweet kisses to your lips.

“Oh really? How was that?” You played along.

His tongue brushed inside your mouth, instantly bringing back that feeling of want that lived deep in your bones. “Fuckin’ amazing. Perfect. I’d give you all the details, but…” he clicked his tongue. “Unfortunately I probably won’t get to do it again for a while, she said she wants to take things slow.”

“Ahh, that sucks. Well, maybe from time to time, when you’ve both built up so much tension…” you let your hands travel down to grip his ass, letting your fingernails dig in and pull him toward you, pressing his morning hard-on directly to your heat.

“…you both can talk about it again. Ya know, just hooking up every once in a while. You’re both adults, right?” You suggested, leaving the conversation open ended.

He moaned through a little cry, pushing himself against you again. “We are both adults. Nothing wrong with some healthy sex every once in a while, right?”

You pressed your lips to his again, licking into his mouth as you felt him hold himself back. “Nothing wrong with it at all…” he mumbled. “God you’re fuckin killing me again, Y/N. I gotta get up. Gotta go, do something…anything…” You giggled as you watched him walk to the bathroom, still completely nude. “Let’s go get coffee.”

——

Half an hour later, the two of you were sitting outside of your favorite coffee shop, sipping from your cups and sharing an oversized blueberry muffin.

“My abs are sore.” Jake said quietly as he stirred his coffee.

“Sore? From what? We hardly lasted five minutes each time…jeeze. Must be out of shape…” you shook your head at him playfully.

He scoffed. “Ugh leave me alone, it’s been a while. Plus I haven’t exercised in like, two months. I almost died of fuckin’ pneumonia and laid in a bed for two weeks, did you forget?” He spat back, sounding bratty as hell.

“Hm. Well. Guess you’ll just have to build that stamina back up then, won’t you?” You winked.

The courtyard in front of the coffee shop was semi crowded, lots of people with dogs and baby strollers. You watched as a young mom pushed a double carriage to the table beside you, parking it there and pushing the sun visor up to reveal two sleeping baby boys.

“Is anyone using this table?” She asked, taking her backpack off.

“No, no. All yours.” Jake smiled and moved a chair out of the way for her.

“Got some tiny ones there.” You said.

“They’re three months old today. Meeting my friend to celebrate their milestone with some coffee and way too much sugar!” She laughed.

“Oh, I bet you need all the caffeine you can get, huh?” You said.

“That’s an understatement…” she laughed as she waved her friend over to join her.

You and Jake sat in silence for a while, people watching and finishing your coffees. You started thinking, right then and there, about something that you truly hadn’t thought hard about in years. Something that, until recently, you’d buried away so far in your brain that you’d nearly forgotten, and the fact that you’d almost forgotten made you sick. A part of your life that you didn’t discuss, that you didn’t bring up, that was a secret from everyone you loved.

“What’s wrong baby? You’re being kinda quiet…” Jake interrupted your internalization.

You perked up. “Oh, nothing. Just kinda sleepy still.”

“Okay. We can take a nap later, if you want.” Jake suggested.

“Yeah, that sounds good to me, babe.” You answered blankly.

You both glanced over to the mom again as one of the babies woke up and started crying. You watched as she picked him up to console him, and watched as the other one instinctively opened his eyes at the sound of his brother’s crying.

“Ya know, me and Josh always used to wonder which one of us would end up with twins, since there’s such a big chance of that happening through generations. I always thought it’d be him.” Jake said.

You watched as the second baby moved his head around, eyes darting side to side, looking for his counterpart. Your heart nearly shattered into pieces. Even as young and tiny as he was, he looked lost, like his compass was going haywire…

“Watch it be Sam.” You responded.

Jake’s head snapped your way. “Really? You think? Why?”

You shrugged. “Just would be funny. Hey, you think your brothers would wanna come over for dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, probably. I think Sam and Elle are back, Danny texted me last night-”

“No, Jake. Just your brothers. Your blood ones.” You interrupted, earning a very strange look from him.

“Uh..I guess. I can… ask them. Why just them?” He pressed.

Your mind spun around as you tried to pull an excuse to get the three of them alone together.

“I want to talk to them. You. Just you three. About… everything.” You only half-lied. “Together, as a family.”

“Okayyyy, yeah, I’ll text them now. Uh, our house? 5:00?” He said, pulling out his phone.

“Perfect.” You took the opportunity to take your phone out as well, pulling up the text from Elle.

You

10:31am: Coffee tomorrow?

——

The rest of the day proceeded normally, you and Jake went home and did end up napping the rest of the afternoon away, him walking on eggshells at the uncertainty of why you wanted just Josh and Sam to come over this evening, but never pressing the issue with more questions.

“I’m starting the pasta babe! They should be here any minute!” Jake yelled from the kitchen as you finished up some laundry.

“Sounds good! I’m almost done here!” You shut the lid to the washing machine, nerves suddenly overtaking your body. You felt your face flush pink, and your stomach flipped over, making you feel sick. You leaned backwards onto the machine, fanning your face as the blood finally traveled back to your brain.

You rushed into the guest room, pulling the drawer to your nightstand open to reveal your barely-yet-used journal. You flipped to the last few pages, finding the old photograph perfectly safe there.

Fuck, you can do this.

Little did Jake know, you weren’t okay. You were terrified. And you were about to share with them your deepest, darkest secret.

——

“…and it wasn’t even the priest, it was his barber all along!” Josh had finished up with a twenty minute long joke, sending the four of you into stitches.

“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, Josh. My god.” Sam said.

“Well, it made you laugh didn’t it?” Josh retorted, making Sam throw his hands into the air.

Dinner was drawing to a close, and you knew the guys were getting antsy with their curiosity of asking them here tonight. All three of them.

“Another bottle, guys?” You said, standing from the table and clearing some of the plates away.

“Yeah, sure. And also when you come back, can you bring the reason you asked just us two to come over tonight?” Sam snapped, turning around in his seat to face you. Fuck you, Sammy.

You turned to shoot daggers at him, only to be met with three of almost the exact same face staring back at you. You dropped the plates into the sink, admitting defeat.

You slowly walked back over to the table, taking your seat. The three of them leaned in closely, watching your next move. You cleared your throat.

“Alright, alright.” Deep breath. “So, this…isn’t easy to say…so forgive me if I get, a little emotional, okay?” You asked, looking to all three of them, the people you loved most in this world, looking at you with so much worry and concern in their eyes you could explode.

“We grew up together right? Since we were babies, and stayed so close all these years, so I feel like I can trust each of you, even after all the bullshit we’ve been through, what I ultimately was the cause of, right?”

They all nodded, speaking quietly that yes, of course you could trust them.

“Sam, my very first chosen friend. Always there for me and always my rock ever since we could walk. I think you know me better than I know myself, and that’s a little terrifying. Always calling me out on my shit, and helping me fucking cause it, too.” You giggled, hoping that one day all of the stuff that happened in Vegas could become a joke.

“Well, ya know...” He laughed.

“Josh, you’re such a good big brother to them. And to me, you always were. You don’t even know you’re doing it, but you keep all of us so grounded and so in line, and so in love with life that you should win an award. And thank you, for helping me here lately. Taking me out of my comfort zone and under your wing. I don’t think you know how much I appreciate it.”

He nodded a sweet you’re welcome.

“And Jake, what the hell. Where do I even start? I’m so excited about this new life we’re building together, and how supportive you’ve always been of me. All the shit I put you through, it’s been some of the most horrible and beautifully messy times of my life. And I’m so thankful for you and all you do for us.”

“I’m also so proud of you guys.” You said, looking to Jake and Sam. “After all that shit in Vegas, you two can still find a way to love each other. And I am so wholeheartedly sorry about how that all went down. From the bottom of my heart, I swear.”

Jake reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly.

“I don’t know if you know, Jake, but Sam watched you go through something really traumatic in the hospital, and when he told me about it, god, it tore me to shreds. Seeing the love you guys all have for each other, it…” you couldn’t stop the tears that were forming in your eyes, as Jake squeezed your hand harder. “It made me realize some things. And I don’t want to run from it anymore. I want to share…everything. With you guys. With my family. Even my secrets.”

All three of them adjusted in their chairs, curiosity and apprehension written all over them. You stood up, went into the guest room, and re-emerged with your journal. You sat back down, and flipped to the very back page. You pulled the tiny photograph that was stuck between the pages, seeing it one last time by yourself before it became not only your secret, but theirs, too.

You turned it around so all three of them could see.

Sam and Jake simultaneously sat back in their seats, physically blown away by what you were showing them.

A blurry black and white sonogram image of a baby. Your baby. The one you never got to meet.

“It’s okay, it’s okay…it’s neither of yours…look at the date…” you said to them as you realized their instant state of panic.

“January 14, 2017.” Sam said, his breath falling out of him with relief. “Oh my god…”

“Baby, what the fuck is going on? What is this? Your name is on this…” Jake said, letting his emotions start to rise.

“Yeah, Jake. That’s because it was mine. Mine and Andy’s.” You relented.

You watched as their faces were painted with happiness, then shock, then sorrow.

“I never got to meet this baby, because right before I found out, Andy started showing his true colors in a more public way. Remember the night of the New Years Eve party? When he found us out on the porch?” You looked to Jake.

“The night he put his hands on me there, left bruises on my arms…all the horrible things he did even before that, you know. Well, I found out two weeks later. I didn’t tell him I was even going to the doctor to find out for sure.” Your tears finally decided to run over. “The night before my appointment, he was drunk. We got into an argument, he pushed me so hard into the wall that it busted a hole through. I thought for sure that if I was pregnant, I would have lost it that night, anyway. So I fought him off of me for another hour or so, let him pass out on the couch. The next day at my appointment, lo and behold, the baby was alright. But I wasn’t.”

“I was so devastated…the nurse at the clinic saw the bruises on me, noticed how much of a shell of a person I was, slipped me a brochure for noticing the signs of domestic abuse. God, it threw me for a loop…I never even thought that that was what I was enduring, all that time. Seeing it there on paper, that Andy was abusing me while I was being told I was most definitely going to be bringing his child into the world. It…fucking…” you were sobbing hard now, finally feeling the weight of the subject coming to the light like a weight off your entire being.

“I had to make the hardest decision of my entire life, that day. I had to decide. I had to keep myself safe, and I could barely do that. Andy was getting worse by the day. The thought of having to bring a baby…god, I couldn’t even…” you took a deep breath, feeling Jake’s arms wrapping around your back, pulling you tightly into him.

“Fuck, Y/N…” he cried into your hair.

You continued. “I never told Andy about it. I kept it a secret…from everybody. I felt so ashamed. A few weeks after I had the procedure, one of Andy’s fraternity brothers’ girlfriends decided to let it slip that she knew I was there…she worked at the clinic and recognized me I guess. Bitch. Completely against the fucking law, but. They told Andy, and he was infuriated. Said that I took something away from him without him even knowing he had it. Hated me for it, called me horrible things. Thinking back now, maybe I should have told him. I guess I could have given him that much. But honestly, things were getting so bad that I truly don’t think that tiny thing would have survived another night of its mother being thrown into the dining room table.”

Jake’s arms held you steady, his hands rubbing across your skin. You finally got the gumption to look at Josh and Sam, both of them absolutely fraught with sadness, tears falling hard from both of their faces. You could tell they were dying to speak, but neither of them had any clue what to say.

“The reason I’m telling you all of this is because you deserve an answer. I’ve lied about it for months. That’s why he’s stalking me. That’s why he’s been following us everywhere, breaking in and stealing your things…He’s obsessed with giving me what he thinks I deserve for taking that away from him. I’m scared he’s not gonna stop until he gets it. He’s getting worse, he’s in it too deeply now.”

Josh’s hands were folded in front of him, covering his mouth as his leg bounced up and down. Sam had his head hanging from his fingers laced through his hair, staring at the tiny photograph. Jake finally released you, squatting beside you to speak. He brought both hands to your face, slowly drifting his thumbs under your eyes to catch the tears that just wouldn’t stop coming.

“I love you so much, Y/N, I swear to god I do. I’m so sorry…” he whispered, pulling up to embrace you again. You let your arms wrap around him, your safe place, your home. He’d finally told you he loved you, after weeks of not hearing those words fall from his mouth.

“I love you too, Jake.” You said through cutting sobs. “I’m so sorry I never told you, told any of you. I should have been honest from the get go. I was just too afraid to tell the truth of why he was following me. Could’ve saved us a lot of difficulty.”

“No, no no…” they all chimed in unison.

“No, Y/N. That was something you didn’t have to share with us. You could’ve kept that secret for as long as you needed to.” Josh said.

“Yeah, this is him being crazy, not you. Don’t worry. We’ll keep you safe. All of us will.” Sam added. “He’s not gonna get what he thinks he deserves. We won’t let him.”

“Yeah, no way that fucker is getting anywhere near you ever again.” Jake added.

You nodded. “I’m trying really hard, guys. I’m trying to be better. I think getting this off my chest was the real start of it.” You said, tears staining Jake’s shirt. “I’m ready to heal.”

The other two silently made their way over to you and Jake, wrapping their arms all around you and each other as they held you in their own cage of protection.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, all embraced together, but right then you knew you’d made the right decision in telling them. They harbored no blame, no judgment, no ill feelings toward you. Just love. Devastatingly perfect love.

——

After a few minutes of silent sobs and embarrassed tears, the four of you stood to gather yourselves.

“Well, that was a lot, sorry guys.” You laughed nervously, stepping away a bit.

“Please stop apologizing, Y/N. There’s nothing at all to be sorry for. If anything you should be patting yourself on the back, for sharing that with us. That’s a huge step.” Josh said.

“Yeah, babe. Don’t be sorry to us. We’re all gonna get through it together. One step at a time, okay? We won't leave you.” Jake said, rubbing your shoulders from behind.

Sam walked up and took you in a giant embrace, his chin resting on your shoulder as he spun you in little half circles. “Can’t believe you held that in for so many years…I’m–I’m so sorry, Y/N.” His whisper was quiet in your ear. This was the closest you’d been with Sam since…

“Thanks, Sammy. It’s alright. In a dark place for way too long…ready to walk away from it.”

He pulled back, taking your head in his hands. “And we’ll be right here to hold your hand as you do. Okay?” You nodded, more tears forming as you felt his familiar comforting touch. He laid a sweet kiss to your forehead, and backed away. A little more light conversation added some happiness to the heavy atmosphere, and you suddenly felt yourself become extremely exhausted.

The air changed, and Josh and Sam caught the drift that it was time for them to go home. “Thanks for listening to me, guys. Means more than you know.” You told them as you walked them toward the door. “I’m gonna tell Elle and Daniel soon, so. Just wanted you three to know first.”

They nodded, sending you more sweet goodbyes as they shut the door behind them. You turned to see Jake leaned against the countertop, his face completely sunken in with an expression that didn’t make sense.

“You wanna go for a walk or something?” He said.

You sighed, walking back over to wrap yourself up in him. “No, I gotta clean up the kitchen.” You said.

“No, baby. That can wait until tomorrow. It’s fine.” Jake replied.

“Okay…kinda wanna go lay down again.” You laughed.

You walked under his arm back to the bedroom, changing into something comfy, and sliding back under the covers with him. He took you up in his arms, pulling you close as you let yourself finally breathe.

“I don’t know what to say, babe. I’m proud of you for being strong, though. I can’t believe you went so long holding that in…I couldn’t imagine what you’ve been going through keeping that to yourself.” Jake said, laying his cheek to your hair.

“I almost called you. That day I went to the clinic. I didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to go by myself. But, I just…”

“You should’ve called me! I would have gone with you, talked to you…” he said, voice rising.

“You were in Europe, Jake. Not even in the same time zone. But, I did it. Got through it. It all…worked out…” you said, squeezing him tighter.

“I know…I’m so sorry baby.” he whispered.

You took another deep breath. “Jake, there’s more, though…”

He pulled back a bit, looking at you sternly, pity on his face. “More…?”

You buried your face in his chest. “After everything with the baby, in the year or so after, when I’d go to my annual checkups, they told me it was a miracle I even conceived at all. And after the procedure, I was left with a lot of internal scarring. Lots of… strange complications. Told me it would be extremely difficult for me to even get pregnant ever again, without intervention.”

“Fuck, babe…” he mouthed. You felt his body go limp.

You sat up, able to look him in the face now. “That’s why…that’s why I never told you about it. I didn’t think you’d want me anymore, if you knew I might not…”

“Shit, Y/N, no. No no no, please don’t.” He sat up and squeezed you again, more sobs rattling through your chest.

“It’s not fair to you, Jake. You deserve that. And I was selfish in not telling you, but I just love you so much, and everything was so scary and crazy, I didn’t want you not in my life…”

He pulled away, grasping both of your hands in his. “Listen to me, Y/N. You’re it for me. Okay? You always have been. I’m ready to have you any way you are, no matter what. Please, don’t for one second think that I think less of you. Ever. You’re the most amazing thing in my life and I’m not ever letting you go.”

“But what if I can’t give you what you’ve always wanted?” You cried.

“You are what I’ve always wanted, Y/N. Only you! As far as that goes…we will figure it out, babe. You and me. We’ll make it through all that together, okay? We have tons and tons of options. I’m not even worried about it.” He pulled you into him again, qualming your tears as he soothed you. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but first we have a few places to stop along the way.”

“You think we will get there?” You breathed.

“Yeah baby… I know we will. I think about it almost everyday.” he says.

“You do?” you whisper.

“Yeah Y/N. I…I know you’re the one. You always have been. I was stupid to ever let you go. I’m not going to make that mistake again. I swear.” he says, pushing the hair from your face.

“I love you Jake.” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He pulls you down on top of him, holding you close to him as he kisses your head, “I love you too Y/N. I always always will. Until the day I die. I swear it.”

As you let him hold you, your mind raced again but a little more peacefully now, knowing that this was just the beginning. You’d started on a brand new journey, and family had taken on a whole new meaning. Facing it head on was going to be the challenge, but you felt stronger than ever. Ready to weather a new storm, with your compass heading set toward calmer seas.

But in the back of your mind lingered a persistent demon, one that had haunted and tormented you for years on end. And though you felt safe here in your lover’s arms, you knew that the storm was still brewing, waiting, ready to wash you away the second it could.

When someone we know and care about is impacted by domestic violence, it is hard to know how to help. But friends and family are important in supporting people experiencing domestic violence so they feel empowered to leave. Waiting for the perfect words could keep you from seizing the opportunity to change a life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there is help. All it takes is one call to the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or Text START to 88788 to discuss your situation.

For more help identifying the signs of domestic abuse visit this site for tons of helpful resources.

If you are pregnant and unsure about your feelings or what to do next, we recommend calling the All-Options Talkline at 1-888-493-0092 from anywhere in the United States or Canada. All-Options offers unconditional, judgment-free support for people in all of their decisions, feelings, and experiences with pregnancy, parenting, abortion, and adoption.

Vigilance The Outtakes : Disruption

@gretavansara@jordie-gvf-admin@starshine-wagner @eyelinerjake@gretavanfvckface@gretavanmoon@misshunnybeebee@fretaganvleet@gvfpal@joshkiszkas@ascendingtostardust@raviolilegs@sammysprincess@gvfpal@objectsinspvce@lallisonl@gvfpal@raviolilegs@jaketlover@ascendingtostardust @violet-hayes@indigostreakmorgan@jakemarrymeibeg@fakeplastiqtree@radmads-gvf @fwzco @katelynn-gvf @writingcold @jakesgrapejuice @jakekiszkasbabymama @emsfallingsky @gretavanbear @ejoygvf @beebloopbleep @mackalah @weneedsomehealing123 @reesetrippingthelight @lightmylove-gvf @wetkleenex-gvf@fulltimecynical@ageofbajabule@ageofsinners@indigostreakslut @katelynn-gvf @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @joshskittytickler21 @mp0801@starcatcherry @samsbirks @darianh07 @cassiesgreta @becinabubblegvf @hanntisocial @demonrat444 @mrbrownstne @gretabyss @bizzielisteningtogreta @samsbirks @jakes-archer @laneygvf @jaketsword @hangvf @indigostreakmorgan @sadiextricia @thunderstomp-and-tequila @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @lyndz2names @brujamagik @overtheehillsandfaraway @gretavanfan @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @slightly-russian

@gracev0609 @sammiboo162 @jakekiszkasmommy @jaketkiszkalover @everyglowinthetwilightknows @literal-dead-leaf @ghostly--photography @aintthatapity @wildbluesorbit

If you'd like to be added to my taglist, please send in an ask!

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dnpsuck · 2 years

Text

hi! because the sims 4 base game is officially free for everyone, i’m gonna list all the mods i use/recommend + cc creators i usually download from to make your game more interesting if base game is all you can own for now. or if you already own several packs and you just want to know what i use!

before you continue:

how to install cc and mods;

be mindful: the more mods and cc you install, the more likely your game is to lag or even break;

some of the mods and cc listed here contain adult (18+) content. view and download at your own discretion;

most mods require updates after game updates, meaning you might need to download new versions of the mods you’ve installed after a game update;

not all mods and cc will be suited for only base game, some might require more dlc. make sure what you’re adding to your game is compatible with the packs you own;

read ALL the information provided by the creators listed;

being familiar with certain modding/the sims 4 terms can be useful here but if you have any questions i can try to answer them for you :)

ps: these are mods and cc i like to use for my personal gameplay style. you might have different tastes and be interested in different mods and cc, of course! so feel free to explore as much as you want until you find what you like!

MODS:

CAS:

more columns in cas by weerbesu: adds more columns to the items menu for easier browsing when you have a lot of content (dlc or cc).

more cas presets by zerbu: without this mod, the game offers a very limited amount of options for body and face presets. this mod adds 100+ more options for these categories, all extracted from the game itself meaning they don’t count as cc.

custom cas background: i currently use this sims 2 background; installing custom cas background is the same as installing cc or mods but i recommend creating a separate folder for your current cas background so you can keep track of it and easily replace it.

shadow remover by xurbansimsx: removes the shadow below your sim in cas. ideal for when you use custom cas backgrounds.

BUILD/BUY:

better build/buy by twistedmexi: better ways to organize and find cc or debug items in the build/buy catalog. for easier browsing when you have a lot of content (dlc or cc).

no weather build/buy by twistedmexi: (requires the seasons expansion pack) gets rid of weather elements such as snow and rain when you enter build/buy mode.

GAMEPLAY:

mc command center by deaderpool: expands functionality for a variety of gameplay aspects. one of the most popular mods because it allows you to control more aspects of gameplay with ease. i recommend reading deaderpool’s website carefully and watching tutorials if needed for a better understanding of the mod. make sure you’re downloading modules that are compatible with the dlc you own.

slice of life by kawaii stacie: adds more realistic situations and events to your sims daily life such as personality, illness, parties, social interactions, etc. you can choose to disable certain features.

ui cheats by weerbesu: allows you to manually cheat by directly clicking on the user interface instead of typing on the cheats bar. all the ways you can use this mod are listed on weerbesu’s page.

(+18) wicked whims by turbodriver: this mod contains explicit adult content that is not suited for players younger than 18 or anyone who is uncomfortable with nudity and graphic sex visuals. only proceed if you’re over 18 years of age and at your own discretion. you’ve been fairly warned. this mod adds detailed and explicit sex gameplay. more animations can be downloaded separately. read turbodriver’s website carefully for more information and further instructions.

MISC:

ts4 mod manager by gametimedev: software that allows you to manage, organize or delete the mods and cc you have installed. useful if you have a lot of cc or broken cc you wanna delete but don’t know the file name.

reshade: it’s a software that allows you to change the color and shades of your game’s graphics (works for more than just sims 4). not an immediate must-have and it took me several tutorials (try this one by misslollypopsims) to understand how to properly use it lmao then it took me more time to find and and adjust a preset exactly the way i liked it, but i really like the results!

CC:

first let’s understand the difference between alpha and maxis match cc:

alpha cc tends to be more detailed, trying to give more realistic traits (like flowy hair, detailed ruffles, etc). this style doesn’t match maxis cartoon-style graphics for the sims 4 and can look out of place;

maxis match cc like the term says, matches maxis graphics and tend to look like they belong in the game, as if maxis had made that content.

visual comparison by simlishliz;

you can download whatever type of cc you like, you don’t have to stick to only one of these styles. feel free to explore as you please!;

however, the creators listed here provide mostly maxis match content because i prefer this style;

also, the creators listed here provide mostly cas cc, but some also may occasionally provide build/buy custom creations;

more things:

read the information and instructions provided by each creator before downloading any cc;

some cc might require certain dlc you may not own;

bgc = base game compatible; you don’t need any dlc!;

some creators listed here may provide content that’s not suitable for players younger than 18! explore and download at your discretion;

IMPORTANT:

most links redirect to the creator’s patreon page

some cc might not be available for free, as creators can put their content behind a paywall for a limited amount of time (around 2-3 weeks) following ea guidelines;

cc cannot be put behind permanent paywalls as it goes against ea’s guidelines and copyrights.

however it’s okay for cc creators to make money off their creation if people are willing to financially support them in exchange for early access to their content!

consider supporting your favorite creators if you can :)

with no further delays, here are the cc creators i usually download from (in no particular order):

kumikya

twistedcat

dudley’s trailer

solistair

casteru

dogsill

sentate

serenity

trillyke

magnolian farewell

aharris00britney

arethabee

jius-sims

imvikai

greenllamas

simstrouble

oydis

jellymoo

cloudcat

miiko

rusty’s

solacedo

candysims

caio

sm sims

simcelebrity00

joliebean

simancholy

boonstow

bustedpixels

imamiii

boaschianacc

madlen

amelylina

adrienpastel

other ways to find cc:

the sims resource: a website that hosts a variety of cc for all sims games. you can find more alpha and build/buy cc and it’s a trustworthy website (at least the most trustworthy out of all the cc hosting websites). however it also displays a lot of ads, gives you a countdown to download content and keeps shoving a paid subscription in your face so it can be quite annoying to download from there. also it’s hard to know what’s the future of tsr considering ea just announced an official platform for the sims 4 cc (they’ll likely survive but might suffer some loss, but we still can’t be sure).

tumblr: using tags such as #ts4cc #ts4mm will lead you to more creators and options than the ones listed here. however anyone can post anything using those tags so 1) you might see unrelated content and 2) be careful for viruses and weird links. avoid adfly links.

youtube: look for cc showcase/shopping videos! simmers will often show you what cc they have or got for their game and will link the creators and websites they’ve used!

IN SUMMARY:

read everything about the mod or cc you want in your game before downloading them;

more cc = more problems, don’t download too much content if your computer/laptop can’t handle it and regularly clean up your mods folder;

there’s nothing i can do about console players, i’m very sorry;

dlc can make the game more interesting so if you want/can get more dlc do some research on what each different pack or kit provides!

no, i don’t know how to pirate the sims 4 but i won’t not encourage it if you find a trustworthy source ;)

be on the look out for mods updates after every game update! outdated mods can break your game!;

feel free to ask me anything and i’ll try my best to help you!

#the sims #the sims 4 #ts4mods #ts4cc #ts4mm #told y'all i'd do it!

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suengmi · 1 year

Note

I absolutely love you writing 🥺💖 I was wondering if you can write something fluffy and suggestive with Felix where you guys want to have sex but you’re both too nervous so you (soft dom) end up dry humping him and he just lets out the prettiest whines and moans

felix has his hands on your hips, fingers stuttering back and forth as he tries to find the courage to slip them under your shirt. there’s a slight awkwardness in the air, like felix has stopped functioning at this moment, it's error 404 basically. pairing: felix x afab!reader (no pronouns mentioned) genre: fluff, suggestive smut kinda?, .9k warnings/other: dry humping, felix loves tiddies (bc same), soft!dom reader

the sound of the fan clicking just makes it worse, with every breath you both take it seems to elongate the silence you’ve both created. you look up at him, his eyes big and wide staring at your chest. he looks up at you as he turns his lips down at the side, eyes darting back to your neck every split second.

“should i?” you begin, eyes looking everywhere but him.

“i guess.”

you forgot what you were suggesting, so you just lean forwards a bit to go in for a kiss. he kisses back, teeth slightly clacking against yours as he tries to follow your pace. it’s ill timed, and so damn awkward. you pull back, squeezing your eyes shut and shaking your head.

whatever this situation is, it doesn’t make sense. over text you are both so over zealous, saying how bad you wanted to fuck him, how hot he’d look underneath you, eyes teary with pleasure. he’d return saying how he wanted to see you come undone just from his mouth, to fuck into you until you were a mess.

“what’s wrong with us!?”

“i don’t know!” felix replies, letting his hands slip down to the bed. “why is this so weird?”

“ahh, i don’t know either!” you say in defeat slumping over with your head in your hand. as you look up at him, you’re met with the same confusion.

both of you let out a light chuckle after making eye contact. the smile felix gives you is heart warming, and helps you feel at ease. you just need to shake off those nerves. he was just as nervous as you.

“okay, okay.” you say standing up, completely flinging your shirt to the side. your shorts soon follow. now, you’re completely naked apart from your sports bra and panties. you gotta just rip off the damn band-aid at this point. if you don’t do something, nothing is going to get done.

felix stares up at you, those damn saucer eyes big once again. you gesture for him to move back. so he obliges, shuffling himself back on the bed with his legs hanging off the side.

“c’mon, take off your shirt and pants.” you say in haste, hands resting on your hips.

he pouts, quickly doing as you say to be left in nothing but a pair of cotton pink boxers.

“i’m just gonna-” you begin, placing your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. you slowly lower yourself onto his thighs, your chest flush against his and knees next to his hips. he takes in a sharp breath, hiding his blush by looking down. it just makes it worse, now he’s got a face full of your chest and he doesn't know where to look.

“you can look felix. it’s okay.”

“just…” he begins, swallowing hard. “your boobs.”

you lightly laugh, your hands coming to his cheeks. “yes, my boobs. you can touch.”

“yeah boobs.” he echoes, leaning forward to press a messy kiss onto your plush chest. you let out a light moan, fingers finding their way to tangle in his hair. he looks so sweet, so innocent with the way he's exploring your chest. he still seems nervous though, hesitant to do more. to your surprise, he mumbles an i love you into your chest, followed by a giggle as he looks up at you.

“i love your boobs.” he giggles again, teeth showing with his silly grin.

“they’re alright, i guess.” you joke, wiggling your chest so it moves back and forth. you both laugh, feeling a bit better about the awkwardness fading away.

“so uh, what now?” felix puffs, feeling stuck at this point.

“fuck sake.” you say in a huff, pushing him onto his back. you guide his hands to your hips before resting yours on his chest.

“o-okay.” he says in a daze, fingers digging into your underwear.

without words, you begin moving your hips back and forth. at this point you just wanna get this over and done with. that band-aid has to come off now, or you're not going to get anywhere.

“shit.” he cusses, head lolling back. all of the awkwardness seems to fade, now his head is spinning with the sight in front of him, the tent in his pants already growing as you grind back and forth.

the moans he’s letting slip are so high pitched, so whiny and a little muted by the bite he has on his lip. he’s already succumbed to your control, just from some light dry humping.

“so pretty.” you praise, finger’s gripping into the flesh on his chest as you move back and forth.

he can’t form words at this point, his whimpers and moans are egging you on.

“should i… take my panties off?” you say, stopping your movements.

"huh?!"

the look that felix gives you is priceless, pink blotches mixing in with his freckles, his brows raised. if this is him now, who knows what he’ll look like later.

"you heard me."

a/n: omg... u love my writing I LOVE U :-; thank u for suggesting this, i have a scientific assessment on how felix is an absolute sub/switch and i'll die on that hill. ty for requesting!!!!!! and ty for the kind words yall make my day

#sorry it's so short #i was going for longer #and i'm not completely happy #but ): i hope u enjoy ):#felix x reader #felix #lee felix #lee felix x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids fic #skz fic #stray kid fic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids reader #skz

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thekinkyleopard · 6 months

Text

The Sneeze Room

A Sven and Elex Rqst SnzFic

FT: Sick Remi

⚠️Content Warning⚠️

Fluff, Sick Fic, Contagion, cursing, bullying

Description: Sven finds a reason to compete against his brother, Draeko. Rightfully so, he tags his boyfriend Elex in, who is extremely apprehensive when he finds out a sick Remi is going to be there…

Author’s Notes: I really wanted to torture Elex in this one and what better way to do that than poke at his germaphobia with a disgusting contagious Remi! :^D I hope you like this one Nonny! Art, Remi, Sven and Draeko all by @aller-geez

Sven came racing into the living room, Elex was putting together some sort of lego project when the cat stumbled upon him, paying no mind to the fact his boyfriend was already busy, he began to buzz. “Babe! Babe! So, I was out at the park, right? And I ran into my insufferable brother, Draeko,” rolling his orange slitted eyes to emphasize his annoyance. “And cause he can’t help but torment me, he and his little friend Levi came to tell me that they’re entering a competition tonight,” Elex was paying little to no attention to the story his boyfriend was prattling on about, simply just trying to make sure he had the right bricks for the right parts.

“Yeah, and?” the badger scoffed at the idea of the leopard and the hybrid being able to accomplish any sort of competition between the two of them.

“It’s 25k and it’s an escape room! I told him I bet half that chunk, me and you could finish before them two,” snickering a bit at the idea but then crossed his arms. “However, they’re bringing Remi as an advantage because they said it was entirely unfair if it was me AND you, seeing as you can escape even a prison cell,”

“Heh, yeah I can,” Elex smirked, still tinkering with the colored blocks as his head grew a size too big.

“Okay, sweet, so you’re in then right?” the other lit up, almost completely ready to start bouncing off the walls he was full of so much adrenaline.

“Wait hold on, you said Remi is going?” Elex suddenly looked up from his project and over at his boyfriend, his face full of skepticism and caution.

“Yeah, why?” The cat suddenly paused, curious to his partner’s reserve.

“I’m not going anywhere near that fleabag,” the badger officially met his boyfriend’s gaze, his own clearly written in distaste now. “He’s been ranting and raving all over Barkbook about how he’s sick again, no, nuh uh, keep that sack of illness the hell away from me,” the germaphobe shuddered, just the thought alone of being next to that mongrel with his open maw expelling hundreds of bacteria at him….he shuddered.

Sven's voice was laced with annoyance, yet tinged with a hint of pleading as he tried to persuade his partner to take on the daunting quest. "Babe, please. We need you to take one for the team," he urged, knowing that their success depended on their joint effort and determination.

“N.O. No. Not doing it, he’s gross, he’s unsanitary, he’s also extremely fucking pigheaded and wont cover his god damn MOUTH, NO!” Elex now sat back, crossing his own arms over his chest, and turning his back to the other. Sven raised a thin brow and cocked his head to the side. It seemed he was going to have to pull out the big guns. Time for operation “Question his manhood.”

“So just like that then? Just gonna let that behemoth be the reason you don’t win this for us? Shit well, I guess I’m dating a pussy instead of a man,” the cat shrugged his shoulders loosely starting to turn on his heels when he could almost physically hear Elex’s last strand of patience, snap in half.

“Excuse me? What the fuck did you just say? That I’m a PUSSY?” the man slowly turned his head to glare daggers in the direction of his audacity filled boyfriend. “A PUSSY?”

“What? It is what it is, you’re scared of a little germy wolf, and that’ll be the reason I never truly out due Draeko, so long as he has that damn wolf,” shaking his head back and forth, clicking his tongue with disappointment. “It’s a shame, you know?” Elex’s mint green eye twitched in response, his fingers pulsating until they closed in to quick, tight fists.

His words were tinged with frustration and a hint of fear, as he vehemently denied being scared. "I'm not afraid…" he insisted, "just…CAUTIOUS... I don't want to risk getting SICK," He emphasized his words through clenched teeth. Despite his efforts to remain calm, the tension in his body was evident as his face flushed with a deep red color. Every muscle in his body seemed to be on high alert, ready to flee at any sign of danger. He was determined to stay level-headed, but the emotions were slowly creeping in.

“No, yeah, right, scared, cautious, pussy, same thing,” Sven clicked his tongue and shrugged yet again, and that was seemingly pissing the badger off even more than his words. How he was so careless and casual about denying his manhood, and his strengths?

“Fine! Fuck! I’ll go! But at the end of the day, if I catch whatever freak virus that asshole has, you’re gonna be the one nursing me back to health, you hear me?” He narrowed his dual colored eyes before aggressively, and less than politely, started packing up his lego project, mumbling to himself with disdain. “Stupid fucking Draeko…always having to trigger Sven into some dumb shit that I get dragged into….why cant that idiot have a….idk..donut eating contest or something? Why is it always so absolutely irritating…” the green haired man was fuming as he went back and forth between cleaning up his mess and keeping what he already had built, safe.

Sven couldn't contain a small chuckle, careful not to let the grumpy badger hear his quiet victory. He was determined to prove himself as smarter, stronger, and more resilient than that damn hybrid, by blowing him out of the water of this competition. With Elex’s innate ability to escape more situations verbally or physically, they had it in the bag.

~LATER THAT NIGHT~

They arrived at the venue, Elex feeling less and less inclined to be there as they parked and started to get out of the vehicle. “Are you sure I have to come? Like…I can’t just stay in the car?”

“No El, you can’t just stay in the car,” the Cheshire rolled his orange eyes impatiently, shutting the door and locking the vehicle behind them with the fob. “Am I really going to have to go into round two of the conversion stage?” the badger sighed deeply at his boyfriend’s response and grumbled back.

“No…please don’t bring my manhood back into this,” sighing with exasperation and an avoidant…distant look in his eyes. As they entered the building, the stench of sweat and stale air filled Elex's nostrils. He wrinkled his nose in disgust, grumbling under his breath about the lack of cleanliness of the venue alone. He followed Sven, who was already strutting towards the entrance, trying to present himself as much more confident than he was.

The two made their way through the sea of random people, avoiding the pungent smells and germs as best they could. They reached the registration desk and handed over their entry forms. "Welcome! You're just in time we start in 5 minutes," the speaker behind the desk said with a grin, handing them a map to their starting location.

Elex could feel the eyes of the other competitors on him, anytime he’d make eye contact with some unsuspecting visitor, he’d lift the left side of his upper lip and scowl. Effectively turning away lingering eyes with his threatening gazes. He then ignored their stares as he and Sven followed the map to their starting point. As they approached, they saw Levi, Draeko and Remi all standing outside a door marked “11” the same number given to them on their map sheet.

“Draeko,” Sven glared at his brother, the two sets of competing eyes glaring down at each other. The first thing Elex noticed however, was Remi, dry heaving and coughing into the crook of his elbow with sunken, swollen and pale glowing green orbs.

“Oh…dear god,” Elex whispered with a terrified expression written across his face. Levi looked up, and noticed the apprehension, and in usual fashion tried to soothe the badger’s worries.

“Hey, El, sorry, I know…but I swear, he’s on the mend! It doesn’t look like it but…I’ve managed to not catch it!” The cat nervously scratched at the back of his neck, voice slightly muffled as he was the only one adorning a mask. The badger narrowed his multi colored gaze.

“Okay well, do you have an extra mask?” crossing his arms over his chest in an impatient, but waiting stance.

“Shit, no sorry just this one…I mean you could have it if you wa-…” the cat embarrassingly shuffling through his pockets and jacket to see if he might have a second but coming up short. He knew he would, but he had to play it off like this wasn’t part of Drae’s plan to keep Elex at his lowest.

“No, no thanks,” shaking his head quickly in response, there was no way in fuck Elex was sharing a mask. YIKES. Especially not with someone he barely even knew. “I’ll just…try to…stay away,” Looking the sickly wolf up and down who could only smirk in response before jolting forward with his hands out to scare the apprehensive man.

“Boo!” Remi chuckled as Elex stepped back significantly to avoid the other’s sudden threatening touch.

“Remi! Knock it off!” Levi nudged the large man with his elbow, trying to hide a snicker of his own. ‘Fake ass bitch,’ the badger thought inwardly catching the leopard’s response. Despite the ongoing fued between Sven and Drae, and Elex at the rest of them, things were seemingly pretty calm at this moment, no insane bragging quite yet just narrowed eyes and stale, uncomfortable vibes.

Sven ignored the bickering three, his focus on the task at hand, scoping out the map and trying to see if he could already spot the first answer but it was really a whole lot of nothing. "Alright El, let's focus on the competition," he spoke without looking up, trying to bring their heads together on this, but Elex couldn't avoid the ill-fated wolf's stern emerald gaze, and the sight of him churned his stomach. He could practically envision the germs seeping from the wolf's every pore, a reminder of the bacteria that could infect him if he didn't keep a reasonable distance. He noticed the way the large man suddenly froze, and hitched…his mouth opening slowly. Elex now stepping back 3 notches when the wolf lurched forward and let out a loud, obnoxious sneeze that sprayed within the few feet radius in front of him.

“Hi”DTSCHIEW!!…SndDff…my bad..” he snarfed loudly, rubbing his wet, red, chuffed nostrils against the sleeve of his button up, Elex almost gagged.

"I think..." Elex began, but hesitated. "I think I made a terrible mistake coming here, Sven, seriously, this guy looks terrible, I want to go home…” he whispered to the side so only his boyfriend could hear his anxious worries.

Sven raised an eyebrow. "We just got here and you already want to tap out? No, don’t make me go into the pussy lecture again..” they both made eye contact now, each one’s gaze stern but neither of them broke.

“Fine,” the badger folded, knowing there really was no telling his boyfriend, no, when he wanted to do something. So instead, he pouted, and tried his best to avoid Remi’s consistent, slightly distant, but cold stare.

“Alright folks! We are getting ready to open the room doors, are you all ready to get going?” one of the hosts announced through a megaphone at the different teams all awaiting their entrances.

Sven, Draeko, and Levi nodded in unison, readying themselves for the challenge ahead. Elex, however, hesitated. He could feel the tension rising in the room, a palpable sense of anticipation that made his stomach flutter. He looked around the room, taking in the different faces of his friends and competitors, each with their own unique qualities and motivations. He swallowed hard and turned his face back to the door. He could do this.

As the host's voice boomed through the speakers, the doors buzzed open, and the group stepped forward. Sven and Draeko pushing and shoving at each other to get through the door first, fighting to take charge. He looked at the map in his hands, studying the intricate layout and trying to envision the path to victory but everything they could see ahead of them was on the paper as well. “Elex check out that right side of the room,” Looking over to make eye contact with the badger who was very apprehensive to move anywhere in that direction seeing as Remi was leaned up against the wall of that side, hanging on for dear life and certainly no help to the challenge itself. Sniffling loudly, his eyes rolled back, he wasn’t even sure why he was there at this point himself. He just did whatever Levi begged of him.

“Fffffuuu…—h’DttTISHh!” Remi sprayed violently in front of himself and Elex groaned loudly, looking back over to Sven who was now back to shoveling and fighting Drae to get a better look under the dressers and furniture. Taking a deep breath in, the germaphobe took a few steps closer to the wolf, that was directly blocking his way.

“Hey can you just…move a little that way?” His voice was neutral, he didn’t want to add too much emotion behind it, because he knew that Remi didn’t do too well with overtly emotional people. Despite that he was physically shaking, his brain swarming with the endless possibilities of illness and death that were haunting him, he remained calm enough to meet the other’s sunken gaze.

“Yeah, no cad do bud, Lebi wands me do keeb you from helbing…maybe, don’d be sugg a baby…SNDDFfF” the wolf tried to tease and chuckle, knowing full well he and Levi were really here to offset the badger. Elex’s brows furrowed and he let out a deep, irritated sigh before he shook his head.

“Fine, dont wanna move? Then I’LL move you my fucking self,” The badger stepped closer, and Remi stood up straighter, crossing his strong arms over his chest and smirking downward before letting in a deep inhale. “Dont….Dont you fucking do it,” the wolf could only grin larger despite the obvious tired look written behind his eyes.

Draeko, Sven and Levi all deeply invested in their searches for clues that they could not even spare a second to notice the ‘man off’ going on behind their backs.

“H-Hah!…” the wolf started, Elex took one step back, he winced but then took a deep breath, prepared himself mentally and shoved at the wolf to move him aside. “Oh-…Hell no,” Remi stumbled loosely to the side, truthfully not suspecting that the badger would grow a pair enough to stand up to him. He reached over, trying to grab the badger by the shirt but he was entirely too fast as he bobbed to the side.

“No! Just mOVE! Dude!” he argued as they did a sort of two step around each other, the badger quickly grabbing a painting off the wall to use as a shield while Remi finally blew his lid unable to contain the sneezes he was using as leverage.

“HNkt’KNXTuhh!! tch’ISSH! iH’tSSH!” the large man sprayed a cloud of salivic mist across the painted frame that was being held a good 6 inches from Elex’s body initially.

“This is my NIGHTMARE! Sveeeeeen!” he finally called out to his boyfriend, who gasped loudly as he turned around, the badger thinking finally he was going to be rescued.

“You found the first clue El! Great fucking work ! “ the spot to which the painting had once hung, was bare, but a single note in the middle of the empty space. The Cheshire snatches the piece of paper and covers his viewage of it. The badger practically turned into the saddest puddle in the world when his boyfriend walked right past him to immerse himself within the escape.

“Hey! Let us see!” Drae reached over to grab at the note the feline snatched it off the wall, but to no avail, completely unable to see what the clue was.

“NO! I dont have to for at least 5 minutes, Elex found it, thats the rules!” the green haired badger looked over at his boyfriend with a raised brow. Did his man just…whine? Like a child? Over rules? He shuddered. Everything about this was not right.

Sven huddled around Elex, both of them curious about the clue he had accidentally found. The cat held the note up, his eyes flicking over the contents. "This is a tough one," he said, shaking his head. "I don't know if I can see anything useful here…” It was just a bunch of lines in a strange pattern. What were they looking at? The badger knew he’d seen this before, somewhere in a codes book, he squinted and scanned it, suddenly feeling a harrowing feeling hover him.

Remi had been stood off to the side, but was becoming curious as he watched Drae and Levi who were desperately trying to peak around the two men. The wolf, still recovering from his sneezing fit, his nose red and raw, slowly approached the group, his open breathing mouth casting over the two as he towered them to read the note. Elex felt the entire world suddenly rattling around him as he felt the man, hosting his hot breath over them. “YO, dude can you, BACK the fuck up?” The badger immediately got defensive, backing a few inches away while the wolf could only snicker again, wetly, the sound of an inhaled and swallowed knot echoed around them. Elex’s lips pulled back in disgust. “GOD, You’re so fucking gross when you’re sick dude,”

“Yeah? Do someding aboud id,” the wolf flexes his chest as he stands firmly in his position, crossing his arms over himself and smirking with a cocky resolve.

"I’m going to-…” Elex begins to wind up his fist and Remi gets ready to respond appropriately, but the two of them are suddenly snapped out of it when the sound of Sven’s irritated voice cuts through them.

“Guys! Knock it off….here Remi, take it…shits useless,” The wolf goes to reach for the note but not before the badger quickly intercepts and snatches it from between them.

“It’s not useless, before Caveboy wonder here walked up to muck up my fuckin’ air …I know what it is…” he stepped away to stand on top of a chair he looked down and pointed at the ground. “There, it’s a super rough, detail-less pattern of the rug…snDff…” he sniffled, unexpectedly, unconsciously, at the end of his grand announcement, something, wasn’t right.

However as proud of the moment it was, immediately Draeko started clawing up the rug to find the next clue. The Cheshire looked over at his boyfriend with a look that almost made the green haired man want to let Remi just eat him. "My bad…” he said sheepishly before avoiding eye contact with his boyfriend who was now just trying to get over to the rug before Drae.

“This damn thing wont pull up!” The hybrid grunted struggling to lift the rug off the floor from any of the four corners, Sven, watching carefully to see what the loophole might be. Elex now climbing down from the chair he shook his head back and forth moving to approach the two before Remi side stepped him and blocked his path.

“Dude, move,” the wolf shook his head. “MOVE,” the duo color eyed man squinted at the miserable wall that was Remington Connors.

“Loog, normally, I lige you, ok, no hard feenings bro,” He paused before shrugging with certainty. “Buuuuuud…whadeber Lebi wands he geds so…" The green haired badger rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me? You can’t just allow me to play the game? Isnt that cheating? Two V One?” shaking his head, he could feel a slight tingle in the back of his throat, unbeknownst to him, the same tickle that was building every second within Remi.

“Yea bud…Lebi lowkey blows ad puddles,” he admitted of his little leopard before he hitched, his mouth falling open and before Elex could even step back, spewed outwardly in a loud, quick, spritzy series of sneezes. “ITSCCCCHH’ah!.. iH’tSSH!.. Hh’IISHH!” each one left him and greeted Elex, who practically went pale, his soul leaving his body as he felt each little droplet invading his skin.

“AAAHHHHHHH!!!” He cried dramatically, loudly, the whole room turned to look at him. “I want OUT! Let me OUT! Oh my god… that was so foul….WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” The badger turned to scratch at the walls, tearing paintings down, knocking over objects wrecklessly in a fit of panic and slight rage. “OUT!! I’m DONE! I do NOT want to be in here with him anymore, nOPE!!”

“Elex! Elex! ELEX!” Sven tried to call his panicking partner who was probably only envisioning his skin burning alive from the amount of sickly contact he’d had.

“No! Sven! I quit, this sucks, I don’t wanna fucking do this anymore,” the cat sighed with disappointment and nodded.

“Fine…Fine…you can leave, it’s fine…” but the badger looked up and he could see the heart break written all over the other man’s face.

“No…nevermind…it’s fine…Um…” he walked over, and leaned into his boyfriend’s ear to whisper. “Try pulling at the middle of the rug…” trying to give his partner the assurance that he was still in this. Sven smiled, only pulled up half his face but regardless, it was a smile. The cheshire walked over, plucked at the middle of the rug and a small square of it came up and a little key was hanging from the bottom of it.

“Holy shit!” the teal and orange haired man was actually stunned to see his boyfriend’s street smarts were still keeping them ahead of the game.

“Fucking A…we were so close,” Draeko sighed with slight irritation, Levi patting his friend’s shoulder to comfort him on their second L of the night.

“Okay bud, where doed thad gey eben go? SndFf'…” the wolf interjected, sliding his sleeve across his running, reddened nostrils. Elex grimaced.

"Ugh, okay there can’t be too many keyholes in this room right?" Elex replied, still bothered by the germy, contagious raven haired man, feeling his own immune system losing the battle against him.

"Well, it's a key...to where? Do we have any idea?" Levi asked as he examined the small key hanging from afar as Sven held it up.

"I don't know," the other cat admitted, "but we should probably start looking around…" He gazed about the room and amongst the many scattered objects on the ground, Sven having to manually turn and check, taking in the chaos caused by Elex's fit.

"Alright...let's move on, then," Draeko agreed, trying to control his frustration.

As they began searching the room for more clues, it didnt take long before Remi was back at it with following the badger around, hovering his every movement. “Look dude, if you’re gonna be on my dick, fine, but at least cover your fucking mouth….I’m already starting to feel light headed” he started to palm at his forehead, testing his temp. “I swear if you get me sick…”

“Heh, probably already are pal,” the wolf stated with another cocky grin plastered across his stupid, red and tear stained face. Levi looks over to see the two of them back at it, bickering over the fact that his boyfriend was pretty disgusting when he was sick. All according to plan. The leopard looked high and low but all three of them were falling short of finding anything that resembled a key hole.

Elex trying to look around the stupid wolf, immediately noticed something off about the wallpaper that was exposed in a spot one of the paintings had been hung up in, but couldn’t get himself to focus with Remi constantly stepping in front of him. “Okay dude seriously! Stop! You’re pissing me off,”

Elex growled, attempting to shove his way past the wolf, but Remi simply laughed and stepped back further, crossing his arms as he sneered. Elex took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and focus on the task at hand.

Sven, noticing Remi's irritating behavior, quickly stepped between them. "Look, this is straight up blocking, which is cheating, stop," he said, placating him with a stern glance. Remi snickered putting his hands up defensively now.

“My bad, my bad…snDddFf..” stepping to the side he snarfles loudly, his glowing gaze never leaving Elex as the badger cautiously walked past him now.

“Jesus…” Elex shook and then finally stepped close to the wall he had been trying to get a better look at. There was an obvious bump, like the wallpaper had been poorly placed over it. “This is weird…” he ran his flattened palm over it and then began to slowly peel the paper away. Levi stood up, taking notice now and watching along side Sven, Draeko deeply invested in the search still, he hadn’t even noticed the rest of them found a hint.

The badger carefully peeled away the wallpaper, revealing a hidden door behind it. "Babe, I think I found something," he said, excitement creeping into his silently whispering voice trying not to draw too much attention despite the fact Remi and Levi were watching. Well Remi actually had stopped watching to check his phone, he was more than bored being there.

Elex, Sven, and Levi quickly gathered around, staring at the door in disbelief. It was small, but they could all easily squeeze through and nondescript, blending seamlessly into the wall. "Well, let's see where this leads," Sven said unoptimistically, inserting the key into the lock. It clicked as he turned it. The door creaked open, revealing a dimly lit hallway with a faint flickering light at the end. "Well I mean…" the badger said, crawling inside the medium sized entrance that wound him up into a tall but cramped hall. There were large body sized mirrors that followed down. Elex took a deep breath but felt his anxiety creep in when he realized they would all be stuffed in this hall together with Remi.

As they ventured deeper into the mysterious corridor, Remi's lingering coughs began to echo through the narrow space, causing Levi to place a hand over his mask to double shield him from his boyfriend’s germs. Draeko and Sven shared a worried glance themselves but it was quickly melted and masked into that of competition again.

The hall seemed to never end, and the flickering light grew dimmer with each step. The group was getting increasingly claustrophobic, and the smell of Remi's sickness filled the air. Elex’s head felt hot, his throat feeling tighter than it had been and he was starting to sweat at each side of his temples. This wasn’t good. He needed to get through this puzzle, and lock himself in his room away from Sven if he could. “H’H…Hih…HHH…” they heard it from behind them as they squeezed through the hall.

“Please no…” the badger whimpered but not before long the horrendous sound of germs being displaced around them, they echoed in their ear drums and the badger could see the mess of salivic clouds misting painted reflections in the mirrored walls.

“iit”shHIEW! ihh-ih’TSSHHH!!” The other three men shuddered in disgust, covering their mouths and noses as Remi continued to hack and sputter. "We need to get out of here," El said, his voice cracking with panic.

Sven nodded, his face pale as he took a deep breath. "Quick, let's hurry…we’re getting closer to the light we just gotta keep going…” the cheshire managed to motivate the weary crew that continued to push through, but to their dismay, the light was nothing more than a mirror at the very end of the hall reflecting off the light above it. “So what it’s just a long hall of mirrors?” he asked with confusion.

“I guess so…SNdDf…” Elex sniffled, this time realizing it, and quickly snapping his hand over his face to hide it from the cat. “mMmhh…” he hummed as if he was deep in thought. Sven noticed the peculiar behavior but decided to pay more attention to this, apparent puzzle they were locked into.

“Okay, so maybe…one of these mirrors are the door?” Draeko and Levi looked at each other and immediately started peeling mirrors off the walls to check behind them. Quickly, Sven followed suit. “Come on babe! “ El was starting to feel worse for wear as he tried his best to keep it all under wraps, and at bay. It was seriously insane how fast Remi’s super germs spread through one’s immune system and just disables it.

As the group frantically searched through the hall of mirrors, Remi continued to sneeze and cough relentlessly, his horrible and contagious sounds “Hh’IISHH! -hd’ISCHhh!” echoing through the cramped space. Elex could feel himself growing weaker with each passing moment. Disgusting, defeated and downright disappointed. He took a deep breath and forced himself to focus, his eyes scanning the crowded reflections in search of a clue.

Suddenly, he spotted a slight distortion in one of the mirror surfaces. He pointed it out to his boyfriend silently by walking up to him and nudging the cheshire. They both approached the mirror quietly and they hesitantly began to pull, revealing a hidden door behind it. Sven immediately inserted the key into the lock and turned it, the door creaking open to reveal, the very large warehouse they had started in.

They reached the end. “Congratulations!” Sven threw a fist in the air and snickered throwing his index finger at his hybrid brother.

“In your face! We finished first!”

“Oh, actually, you guys are 4th place…but you made it out and thats always a reason to celebrate!” the crew cheered for them and both Sven and Draeko’s faces fell with defeat and disappointment. Elex shook his head and slapped a hand over his forehead.

“We were in competition with EVERYONE in the ware house??”

“Y-yes, that was explained in the sign up and rules section,” the man seemed confused as he looked at the frustrated green haired male. The badger could only shake his head back and forth.

Elex couldn't believe their luck - or lack thereof. Fourth place in a warehouse full of competitors was not the outcome they had hoped for. Deflated, he turned to the group of people he’d come with, who were also wearing expressions of disappointment. So he was basically going to spend the next few days in bed, deathly ill without 25k to smooth it over.

Sven let out a frustrated sigh and Draeko kicked at the ground, mumbling under his breath. "Well, at least we made it out," Levi said optimistically, trying to lift their spirits.

Drae nodded, forcing a small smile. "Yeah, you're right, We did make it out in the end." He glanced over at Remi, who was still coughing and sneezing uncontrollably. "But I think it was probably a mistake bringing Remi…I have a bad feeling we’re all gonna be worse for wear tomorrow," he said, concern evident in his voice.

Remi waved him off weakly. "I'b fide, you guys will be fide too, id’s judt a liddle cold," he rasped trying to clear his throat after the fact.

“Yeah well…this was a bust,” the badger grumbled, his fever starting to burn hotter, his body weaker by the minute as he tried his best to stay focused on getting back home and maybe locking himself up in the shower.

Remi, on the other hand, wasn't doing much better as he continued to sneeze and cough, his entire body wracked with chills and a throbbing headache, the cold he had caught threatening to take him down. “Huh’GDTS’ue! hdt’ishhhh!” the sound of his fit causing Elex to jump out of his skin.

“Alright guys, I’m gonna get him home and in bed….this was fun!” The leopard took his mate by the arm and began to lead him to the exit of the warehouse leaving the three left to stand in awkward silence. Sven avoiding Drae, Drae avoiding Sven, And Elex just desperately trying to swallow his symptoms of illness. He was sweating at a much more profuse rate now.

"Let's get out of here," Sven finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. Elex nodded, staying quiet knowing that is boyfriend was probably feeling extremely defeated after all that effort they just put into trying to win. Draeko didn’t say a word to either of them, simply dialed up his phone and called his demon for a ride. Elex definitely wanted to make sure he was gone before that asshole showed up.

They made their way out of the warehouse, the door creaking behind them as they emerged into the cold night air. The three stood in silence for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. Elex clutched his chest, feeling the weight of Remi's germs bearing down on him with each crushing inhale.

Sven shook his head, a look of disappointment spreading across his face. "We should've never come here," he muttered to himself. "We should've known better than to trust that idiot to have given us all the information ahead of time,"

Draeko sighed, glancing over at his brother, shaking his head. “You know, Sven, I was almost actually starting to just enjoy spending time with you by the end of this…but you’re just so stuck on the past, it’s really a shame,” the hybrid furrowed his brows before ditching the two with their own thoughts. The badger dare not speak, knowing 7 was already feeling fragile enough.

As they walked away from the warehouse, the frosty air seemed to penetrate Elex's every pore, making him shiver involuntarily. His fever was raging now, and he could feel the cold settling deep within his bones, but he dare not pay it any mind as they made the trek to the car.

"I can't believe we actually went through with this and lost," The words escaped Sven's lips in a low, grumbling tone, barely above a whisper. His body posture slumped as he dragged his feet closer to the vehicle now.

Draeko's eyes clouded over, his thoughts drifting to the harsh words he'd spoken earlier. "Yeah, if they hadn’t been so focused on cheating we might have had a chance," he said after a moment, his voice low and tinged with annoyance.

For a moment, they fell into silence, each lost in their own thoughts about the night's events. Elex could feel his strength ebbing away, his body screaming out in protest as he struggled to keep his footing.

"Let's just go home," Sven said pressing the fob twice to unlock the car, they both slid inside, silently, they started the drive back home.

“Can I play some music?” Elex asked nervously, truthfully he couldnt stand the silence and he needed to drown out the possible noises of him struggling for his life on their way back.

Sven sighed heavily, glancing over at his boyfriend, who gave him a flushed, but innocent smile. He pressed a button on the stereo, and the familiar strains of their favorite band filled the car. For a moment, they let out a sigh of relief, lost in the music. But the awkwardness that haunted them was deafening, and Elex knew he couldn’t hold back his overbearing symptoms any longer. As the music played, and the cat white knuckled the wheel as they drove without a peep, the badger slunk in his seat and allowed his face to fall from the mask a bit. He felt like shit.

His head was on fire, his body felt cold, he was shivering and sweating at the same time, he very steathily, pulled a tissue from the side of the door. He then crumpled it into his sleeve and brought his hand up with the tissue hidden behind his sleeve, he sniffled gently into it. Softly rubbing, trying to relieve himself of the itch. Sven was lost in his own universe, unaware of his boyfriend’s suffering.

Meanwhile, the misery was slowly but surely getting the best of him, and yet he couldn't bear to disturb Sven, he knew that he would only feel worse on top of losing. He couldn’t also deal with the fact he’d forced his boyfriend into illness. The music filled the car with a melancholic melody that somehow seemed to comfort them in that moment.

As they drove through the empty streets, Elex's fever raged on, the cold that had settled deep within his system now spreading to his very core. The heat of the car seemed to only magnify the discomfort, and the pain in his head was becoming almost unbearable. He wriggled in his seat, desperately wanting to peel his shirt off or at the least blast the AC. He took a deep breath in before his nostrils flared, twitched and tickled. Immediately he shut his mouth, trying to hide any indications that he might just sneeze, his nostrils wet with anticipation.

With every mile that passed, Elex grew weaker, and the virus that threatened to consume him grew stronger. He clutched his chest, trying to hold himself together, his body wracked with chills that didn't seem to want to let up.

Fifteen minutes that felt like several days, finally they arrived home. The ill feeling badger pictured himself sprinting inside and locking himself in the bathroom and dying in the shower for a couple of hours until he felt well enough to emerge. Yet, he was unable to even move, it was starting to worry Sven as he saw Elex just laying there with his eyes closed, head slumped back and mouth gaping open. “Babe? You good? It’s time to go in….” asking cautiously.

Believe it or not, the green haired man was conscious he was just incredibly weakened by this point and his legs felt like jelly. He was also beyond drained from trying to pretend like he wasn’t knocking on death’s door. “Y-yeah..gimme a sec…I’ll meet you in there…just tired…” he cleared his throat trying to sound more convincing before he noticed his boyfriend nod, turn and give him his space.

“Holy fuck…finally..SNDFfdF..” he sniffled loudly, it filled the car with the wet sound as he brought a tissue to his persistently itching nose. He rubbed it so hard there was a rhythmic clicking sound that rang in his ears. “H-H…Hh’…” he struggled against the tissue. “H’uSSHHhhiew! h’USHhh’iew!” he suddenly burst from within, his tickling nostrils getting the better of him as he sprayed into the already pretty dampened mulch. “Gross…” he muttered weakly. It felt good at least to get that off his chest…it might have been just what he needed to get in the house, past Sven and into the bathroom.

He mustered up the last of his strength and pushed himself out of the car, stumbling slightly as he made his way towards the house. Each step felt like a monumental effort, but the thought of finally being able to rest in the warmth of their home drove him forward. The badger's pallor was ashen, his eyes heavy with fatigue. Without a word, he walked into the house, quickly, as much as he could, past his boyfriend that spun around to try and catch up, into the bathroom, locking the door shut and sliding down the door in agony. “Fuuuuuu…” he groaned stubbornly, he made it, but at what cost. His head was now spinning. “H-H…Ih…” he struggled against the quickly building sensations inside him.

“Els? You good in there?” He already knew the truth, it was obvious as night and day. Elex only ever rushed to the bathroom like this when he was ill, and trying to actively hide that from him. Idiot. Why did he ALWAYS go to the bathroom? He knocked gently. “Babe?”

“N-No I’m okay just go-gotta piss…” he lied through his teeth before the inevitable came barreling out through his mouth and into the quickly rising palms of his hands. “Heh’EhDTSHiEw! etUSCHOO!” it was like he had entered his own personal hell, he groaned weakly his hands wet of his sickness, and his nose starting to leak down his darkened skin.

Sven's heart clenched with worry as he heard his boyfriend struggle on the other side of the door. He knew Elex too well to believe the feeble excuse he had just given, and the sound of his sneezes only confirmed his suspicions. Without another word, Sven retrieved a spare key from its hiding place and swiftly unlocked the bathroom door. “h’UHtTSCHhiew! hh’ieXSSHH!” more distressing sounds of illness and ache echoed from behind the door, the green haired man falling further into his sickly resolve.

What Sven found inside once he ripped the door open, tore at his heart. Elex was hunched over in the corner closest to the door, pale and shivering, his face contorted in discomfort. The tissues in his hands were already soaked through, and his eyes reflected a mixture of pain and embarrassment.

Sven knelt beside him, placing a comforting hand on his back. "Elex, why didn't you tell me you were feeling this bad?" he asked softly, concern lacing his voice.

“I….didn’t want you to feel worse…after the loss,” he grumbled, avoiding eye contact like a small child that’d been caught in the cookie jar. The sick badger then managed a weak shrug in response, a fresh wave of static tingling over him. He felt utterly defeated, both by his illness and by his inability to hide it. Stupid. The cat's chest ached at the sight of Elex trying to bear the burden of his sickness alone, all for the sake of sparing him more grief. He gently took some tissues off the roll of paper and began to wipe at his hands and then handed him a warm washcloth, using it to dab away the sweat that dotted his feverish brow.

"You’re a pain in my ass you know that?" Sven chuckled jokingly, a mix of fondness and exasperation in his tone. "You don't have to go through this alone. We're a team, remember? I'm here for you, no matter what,” the man emphasized as he leaned closer to kiss the man on his clammy forehead.

Elex finally met Sven's gaze, seeing the genuine concern and love behind those serious orange orbs. A feeling of relief washed over him as he realized he didn't have to suffer in silence. With a shaky sigh, he leaned into Sven's touch, letting himself be comforted by the warmth of his presence.

As the Cheshire helped Elex to his feet and guided him to their bedroom, the badger felt an instant sense of relief, guilt and fondness wash over him. He couldn’t believe what a fuckin dick he was to this man sometimes, truly he didnt deserve him. "I can sleep on the couch if you prefer babe…I dont want you to have to be put ou-..H-Hh’uhSSCHHIHHww!” out shooting another one but the delinquent was quick enough to aim into the crook of his elbow.

Come on you, just get into bed don’t worry about me,” he shook his head at his ailing mate, all he could really think about was getting him rest. Elex sniffled loudly trying to wobble his way to their shared bed and slide inside but was stopped by the cheshire who let out a harmless chuckle. “Babe, you’re still wearing your clothes,”

“Oh…righd…sNdnfF..” he grumbled and groaned the whole way through trying to undress himself before 7 had to step in.

“I’ll do it babe, it’s fine,” taking over as he helped Elex out of his clothes and into a fresh pair of pajamas. The badger let out a soft sigh of relief as he finally settled under the warm covers, feeling a sense of comfort wash over him. Sven tucked him in gently, making sure he was comfortable before climbing into bed beside him.

As Elex lay there, his body still trembling with fever, he couldn't help but feel grateful for Sven's unwavering support. Despite his stubbornness and attempts to push him away, Sven had never wavered in his care and love for him in the last decade of being together. Though his reflections were short lived when he felt a down pour of trickling madness. His nose was on fire, his throat was demanding and it was going to come out again. That same, messy, loud, affliction. “Hh’UmfsHhhiew! h’UsHh’iew!” it was almost like he couldn’t catch a break but the cat handed him a tissue and he smiled weakly. "I love you…" Elex mumbled hoarsely, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sven's response was immediate, his hand reaching out to caress Elex's cheek tenderly after the man had taken the soft material. "I love you too, you stubborn fuck," he replied with a soft chuckle. The green and brown eyed man squinting with distrust now but still cracking a side smile.

“You’re not wro..h-.UShh’iew!” he released into the pit under his blanket, more so into the fabric than not, or else he put himself at the risk of getting his chest wet with sick. He shuddered and Sven leaned in closer to the other, wrapping his arms tightly around the slightly taller green haired grump.

“Bless you, my little earth pig,” immediately Elex rolled his eyes into the back of his skull.

“Stooooobbb I hade when you call me dhad,” Sven couldn't help but chuckle at Elex's grumpy response, finding solace in the fact that even when he was feeling at his worst, his partner still had enough spirit to protest endearingly.

"Alright, alright, no 'earth pig' then," he conceded with a smile, pressing a gentle kiss to Elex's forehead. The badger let out a tired huff of contentment at the affectionate gesture, his eyes fluttering shut as he leaned into Sven's embrace.

In the comfort of their shared bed, surrounded by warmth and love, Elex finally allowed himself to relax. The weight of his illness seemed a little lighter with Sven by his side, offering unwavering support and care. As sleep began to tug at his consciousness, he whispered softly, "Thank you for taking care of me."

Sven held him closer, feeling a surge of tenderness for the stubborn badger who had captured his heart so completely. "Always,” and the two found themselves closing their eyes, and drifting to sleep.

The End

Author’s Notes: I had so much fun with the dialogue in this!!!!! But I really truly hate myself for choosing escape room because A: I’ve never done one B: I put forth no energy to research them either and just hit a road block for two weeks instead 😭🥲 Which is another reason there’s no smut cause I just really wanted to be done 😂 I hope this was at least enjoyable!!! I’ll do better with the next Svelex rqst I promise 😂

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whiskeynwriting · 1 year

Note

Hi Liv. 💜 Thank you for writing so many lovely pieces for Daddy Whiskey. I am having the worst time I’ve had in a long time. I’m really sick but I still have to attend to a lot of obligations, and I haven’t had time to rest. How would Daddy Whiskey take care of me and make me slow down? 🤧🤒😴

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A Different Kind of Love

Agent Daddy Whiskey x Female Reader

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Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI)

Daddy kink (it’s always here), illness, medicine, established relationship/marriage, sweet fluffies

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A/N: random side note, reader’s temperature readings are in Fahrenheit. Your girl is American LOL but so is daddy 🥰

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“Hm?”

“Sugar,” Your husband whispers, shaking his head. The feeling of his hand, warm and strong, slides beneath the covers to caress your forearm. His other stays on your forehead, pressing a cold washcloth to your skin. “You didn’t tell me it was this bad.”

“Huh?” Your eyes are barely opening, having gone dry and droopy from sleep.

“One-hundred and four.” Jack states, prompting your eyes to widen. “Here, drink.” He then says, offering you an open water bottle.

Everything feels weird, almost dizzying in a way. When you’d gone to sleep, Jack was still away on his business trip, and having him here so suddenly is surprising.

“Why are you… how…”

“Sh,” He returns, lifting the bottle toward you again.

Grunting slightly, you attempt to sit up, your muscles sore and throbbing. Immediately, Jack is setting the washcloth down and reaching for you. With both of those strong hands on your back, he helps you up, urging you to lean on him. And while cradling your body, he offers the water again, urging you to take it.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” He coos quietly, kissing your forehead.

“Gonna get my germs.” Comes your weak protest, finally downing the drink. But he only laughs. It’s that deep chuckle you love so much, the one you can feel in his belly.

“I missed you.”

“I’m sorry I’m so gross.” The words come out broken and shrill, spoken through a tiny sob. And to his surprise, you start to cry.

“Babydoll, you’re sick.” He states, almost incredulously. “And you’re not gross.” Wrapping both arms around you, he hugs you tightly, feeling your body relax into his own. “I’m here now, stop worryin’.”

Brushing a hand over your head, he slides the loose hairs away from your sweaty face, only to kiss your skin again. He can feel you shaking in his arms, can feel the ragged breaths coming from your chest.

“C’mon, let’s get you in the shower. We gotta get this temperature down.”

Reaching for the hair tie on your nightstand, Jack wraps your hair up into a messy bun. And you’re so weak that you let him, not bothering to protest. You hate feeling like such a burden.

“Did you leave early?”

“I did.” Jack tells you, beginning to lift your shirt to help you undress.

“Why?” Your pout is evident, even as you lift your arms for him.

“Babycakes, I haven’t seen you this sick in years. Couldn’t just leave you here by yourself.” His trip was supposed to last ten days, but he cut it in half just for you. “Now c’mon, sweetheart.”

Once your panties are off Jack undresses himself, finally shrugging off his business suit. It’s only now that you realize he was still wearing it. He didn’t even bother to change when he got home before coming to comfort you.

Jack takes both of your hands before helping you up, tugging on you gently. And he holds them still as he walks you to the bathroom. The cold metal on his left hand prompts your eyes to wander down, a small smile slipping on your face.

“I love you.” Looking up at him, that smile remains.

He isn’t looking at you, he’s looking down while reaching for the faucet. But he smiles anyway. “I love you too, babycakes.”

When the water is warm he guides you in, eyeing your shaky steps. And while the heat feels good on your skin, you can’t help but shiver without your clothes on. Before Jack steps in, though, he grabs a little package out of one of your decorative jars, unwrapping it and dropping the contents onto the shower drain. And immediately, the smell of eucalyptus hits your nose, a calming scent that opens up your sinuses.

“Thank you.” You’re still trembling, your breaths stuttering, too.

“Stop thankin’ me.” His voice is calm and reassuring, his body a welcomed presence as he finally steps in to stand behind you. Jack’s sculpted arms then link around your midsection, his head dropping down to rest his chin on your shoulder. He keeps you against him, keeps you up. “It’s what I’m here for,” A soft kiss to your cheek, a small hum. “What I’m supposed to do.”

While you’re leaning against him, Jack grabs your loofah and body wash, lathering the soft tool before rubbing it over your body. He’s gentle with it, scrubbing you clean in the most loving way he knows how. And he doesn’t worry about your hair - having a head full of cold, wet hair won’t make your cold any better.

“What about you?” Your voice is scratchy and unpleasant; it doesn’t sound like you. “I can’t, can’t wash you right now, baby.”

Your husband tuts at this, brows furrowing. “Wouldn’t expect you to. I’ll wash myself in a minute, honey.”

And he does just that, helping you to sit on the stone bench while he washes his hair and body. He’s quick with it, too, not wanting you to sit out of the stream for too long.

“I’m sorry you had to leave early. Champ must be so mad at you.”

“Not at all.” Giving his head a shake, he tells you, “Gives those idiot nephews a chance to prove their worth.”

Chuckling to yourself quietly, you think back to the two men you’d met. They’re around your age, the new agents, and very clearly inept. Turns out Champ is a fan of nepotism, favoring his nephews.

“Still, I’m sorry you had to leave for me. I didn’t mean to make you w-worry.” As soon as you’re shivering again, Jack is helping you onto your feet again and ushering you beneath the warm stream.

“Honey, you’re the most precious thing I have.” He reassures you, holding you once again. “I always worry about you.”

He’s so handsome, it’s all you can think. You’re drunk with love for him - how could one man be so overwhelmingly perfect? He’s caring, doting, you’ve never had anyone in your life make you feel so special. The way Jack treats you is something else entirely, it’s a different kind of love.

Clean pajamas hold your body sweetly, soft and smelling oh so sweet. What’s even sweeter is the ice cream Jack doordashed for you, alongside your other favorite treats. And right now, he’s at the door, paying the delivery man before taking the food into the bedroom. It’s not the best habit, eating food in bed. But when you’re this sick, who the hell cares?

“Alright, here we go.” Jack mumbles to himself, setting the plates of food down over the bedsheets. “And here’s your medicine.” He then says, handing you a couple of pills.

Before he helped you back into bed, Jack changed the sheets, putting on the clean set and then tossing the dirty ones into the washer. The entire time you’ve been sick, you’ve been worrying about the house. The dishes, the trash, the unkempt sheets. Especially with Jack returning, you wanted to make sure everything was neat for him, it’s what you always did. But when you couldn't even get out of bed to brush your teeth, you knew there was no way you’d be cleaning. Though, you knew Jack would never hold it against you.

After ordering the food, Jack did about the house, putting things away, wiping down the surfaces and taking care of the dirty dishes and overflowing trash. It took him less than thirty minutes, and he didn’t even break a sweat. In his mind, nothing was more important than making sure you got your rest. And that meant taking away any and all distractions that would lure you out of bed. But once the food came, and everything was clean and cozy, he finally settled beside you in bed, picking up his own plate of food.

Leaning onto his shoulder, you sigh, a wave of emotion running through your body. “Daddy,” Burying your face into his chest, you finally allow yourself to release your tears of frustration and pain. “I don’t feel good.”

Setting his plate aside, he hushes you. “C’mere, honey.”

When the food is off the bed, Jack’s urging you to rest your head in his lap. He lays back, feeling you shift onto his broad chest. One arm wraps around your back, holding you against him, while the other runs over your beautiful hair.

“I know you’re not feelin’ good, sweet pea.” Jack’s voice is soothing, deep and warm and everything you need. “I’m so sorry. But I’m here, okay? I promise. Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it for you.”

“I just wanna cuddle you.” Your voice is muffled, face resting against his black, short-sleeve shirt.

Again, he grins, letting out a small chuckle. Turning his head, he gives your temple a kiss before placing his fingers beneath your chin. And when your head is tilted up, he places a sweet, small kiss onto your lips.

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

#daddy whiskey #my one and only #you take the best care of me #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x you #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x female reader #agent whiskey fluff #Jack Daniels #Kingsman 2 #Kingsman 2 fanfiction #Kingsman 2 tgc #Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle

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wild-karrde · 1 year

Text

In Command - Part 13

Master List | Previous Part | Next Part

A/N: HAPPY SUNDAY Y'ALL!! Have another chapter! I was gonna try and delay this a bit to overlap with something else, but I am impatient, so here we go. As always, thank you to the wonderful @teletraan-meets-jarvis for beta-reading for me and making sure my ramblings make sense!

Chapter Rating: E

Warnings: explicit sexual content (PiV sex), language, canon-typical violence, graphic injury

Word Count: 9.2k words

Senna felt like she was drifting through a dream. Everything around her seemed muffled and muted, although she was acutely aware of the soreness between her legs and the presence next to her. Rex’s hand rested in the small of her back as they made their way back through the mingling couples in the club, brushing past the cleaning droid that was already heading towards their abandoned booth.

This is fine.

She barely heard what the Pa’lowick attendant said as they retrieved their jackets and Rex’s hat. She waited patiently as he inspected the street outside the smudged front window of the club. When he was sure it was clear, Rex opened the door, guiding her outside again.

The cool night air was a welcome sensation, and Senna closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly from the sweat that still slicked her skin. She felt an arm slip around her waist and looked up to find Rex pulling her to his side, giving her a smile.

“Looks like the coast is clear. It’s a short walk back.”

She forced a smiled back, falling into step next to him and leaning against him slightly.

Alright. We were both playing the part. He seems fine. Unbothered even. My work with the rebellion isn’t over. And I just had great sex. And there don’t appear to be hard feelings.

Great. This is fine. Everything is fine.

He was saying something that she completely missed.

“Hm?”

“I was asking if you’re still hungry.”

Her stomach was doing flips, and for once, the thought of putting anything into it seemed ill-advised.

“I’m fine. U-unless you’re hungry?”

“No. No, I’m alright.”

How is he doing this? Just behaving as if everything is normal?

And how are you not?

She wasn’t new to casual encounters, but there had been nothing casual about the way he’d touched her, the way he’d said her name. It felt as soothing as bacta on a burn after the months of denial she’d put herself through, but everything about the sex had seemed far more intimate than her usual flings. Flutterings of hope bounced around in her chest, but she was doing everything she could to quash them. In the moment, it had felt as though everything had fallen into place, but now the edges were crumbling.

You’re imagining it. You’re wishing it was that.

Rex was right; it was a quick walk. They made it back to the inn and through the lobby without encountering anyone, and luckily for them, a lift was waiting for them on the ground floor. As she punched the number to the floor they were staying on, she felt Rex’s eyes on her. When the doors hissed shut with a metallic click, he closed the space between them, his hand cradling her face and lifting her eyes to meet his.

“Hey,” he whispered. The sound of his voice was so gentle she could cry. “Having second thoughts?”

She plastered a smile across her features. “Of course not.”

It was clear he was unconvinced, but the lift mercifully chimed, alerting them that they’d reached their floor. Senna stepped out of the lift before the doors were all the way open, desperately trying to release the grip that was squeezing her chest. She could still feel Rex’s eyes on her.

As she strode through the door into their room, she immediately went to the refresher, locking the door, stripping off her clothes, and turning on the shower. She stared at herself in the mirror as the water warmed up. Bruises and bite marks dotted her chest and neck, and her lips were kiss-swollen. The sight of them flooded her with a cacophony of conflicting emotions, but the most noticeable sensation was the heat creeping into her cheeks. Senna composed herself, taking a deep steadying breath as she stepped into the shower, scrubbing as much of the evidence of her and Rex’s activities away as she could.

Just part of the act. It’s fine.

Even though she knew she couldn’t wash them away, she ran the washcloth over the love bites dotting her skin, as if she could rinse the memory of how Rex felt in that moment away as well.

You’re fine. Everything’s alright.

When she was cleaned to her satisfaction, she stepped out, toweling off quickly. Glancing around, she swore when she realized that in her haste, she hadn’t brought a change of clothes in with her. Wrapping the towel around her body, she steeled herself, opening the door and stepping into the room.

Rex was sitting on the bed, typing something out on the datapad. He had his shirt off, and the moonlight fell across his bare shoulders. Senna tried to still her heart as he turned to look at her with the sound of the ‘fresher door whooshing open. He sported a few love bites of his own, left by her. Her face felt as though it was on fire as she met his gaze. He gave her a gentle smile, and the flames inside of her quieted to a glowing ember.

Fuck, he’s so beautiful.

“Hey,” he said softly, rising from the bed.

She pushed some of her damp hair behind her ear. “Hey.”

Rex set the datapad he was reading from on the desk before approaching her. His eyes were studying her carefully, and Senna fought the urge to squirm under his gaze. He stopped just in front of her, and she was certain he would hear her heart thundering in her chest. Reaching up, he cupped her cheek, and before she could stop herself, she leaned into his touch. His palm was warm against her skin.

Just a game. Just an act.

He stepped closer, cradling her face with one hand and studying her features carefully.

Just an act.

His other hand slipped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Her pulse accelerated as her hands slid over his chest, grazing the numerous scars that peppered his skin, the most prominent just below his collar bone in the middle of his sternum. His lips met hers, much less rushed than before. She was able to notice more about the kiss this time without the fuel of desperation and urgency. Rex’s lips were chapped, but warm, and the gentleness with which he cradled her face as he kissed her made her eyes burn with tears.

It’s just us though. No one else.

He drew back, resting his forehead against hers, but still holding her close. Her knees were shaking underneath her as his eyes studied her carefully in the dim lighting. He’d always been able to see through her, and normally, she appreciated it. Right now, it unnerved her, terrified her even.

What if he sees how I feel? What if he knows?

She could feel his thumb rubbing hesitantly against the small of her back.

“Sen, are you alright with everything that just happened?”

She forced a laugh. “Of course. I wanted it. It’s fine. We’re fine, Rex.”

“Are you certain?”

It’s just the two of us now. He has no one left to convince.

His eyes met hers.

He wants this. And so do you.

Before she could overthink it further, she kissed him again, and he melted into her as she pulled him closer by the belt loops on his trousers. His fingers buried themselves in the damp waves of her hair, cradling the back of her head. Her arms wrapped around him, fingers tracing the muscles of his back.

Senna couldn’t explain what she was trying to do. It might have been an experiment, to see if he’d let her kiss him in private, it might have been her burying her feelings and keeping herself from pouring her soul out to this man by keeping her mouth busy. She wanted to run, but she also wanted to pull him into bed and let the rest of the galaxy fall away, to get lost in one another. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but one thing that she was sure of was that she didn’t want it to stop. The logical part of her mind was blaring with alarm bells, promising she’d regret it all in the morning, and while she wasn’t sure whether that would be true, she was ready to throw every bit of caution to the wind and find out.

“Senna,” he whispered against her mouth. “Can I have you again? Right now? Just the two of us.”

Just the two of us. Rex and Senna.

Her brain was short-circuiting.

He wants me. This isn’t Lon and Valla. It’s all Rex. And me.

“Yes,” she whispered before her brain could shriek at her more.

Rex was unrushed as he kissed her again, working his lips against hers as if he wanted to remember the feel and taste of them. The towel slipped from her body, simply forgotten as Rex guided her towards the bed, easing her down onto the mattress with the same strength and gentleness she’d come to know as him. She trembled, goosebumps erupting across her skin as he straightened, taking her bare body in. His gaze felt piercing, but also like a warm embrace. He sucked a breath in between his teeth as the dull glow of reflected moonlight danced across her skin from the small window.

“Maker, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.

Heat rushed to her cheeks, and a giddiness welled up inside her as he shucked off his pants before climbing further onto the mattress and pulling the blankets over the two of them. She trembled as she drank him in, and he paused.

“We can stop,” he reassured her.

“Please don’t.”

“You’re shaking, Sen.”

“So are you.” The tremors in his body weren’t as violent as hers, but she could still feel him quivering slightly under her fingertips.

He huffed a laugh, ducking his head slightly before meeting her gaze again. “Been a while.”

She giggled. “We’ve already done this once.”

He became more serious, his hand drifting up to cradle her face. His thumb stroked her cheek as his eyes pierced through her. “Not like this. Not the way I wanted to.”

Her expression softened. “Oh. Yeah. Guess it’s been a while for me too, then.”

His hand slipped under the blanket, finding the crook of her knee and coaxing her to wrap her legs around him. She complied, and the trembling within her increased as he pressed closer. She could feel his hardening cock pressing against her heat, and she ground against him slightly, drawing a groan from him. Every cell in her body tingled in anticipation. Rex raised an eyebrow at her.

“Patience,” he whispered, stroking her cheek again. “I want to take my time with you this go around.”

He drew back, looking at her in that way that made her heart clench in her chest. He brushed a damp strand of hair out of her eyes, his fingertips lingering against her temple. Senna let her hands wander over his torso, trailing along every ripple of muscle and every raised scar. She wondered if she could map it all in her mind, memorize every inch of him in one night, just in case this was all she was allowed.

She wanted to try.

Rex pressed his forehead against hers, still cupping her face gently. “I don’t think I’ve ever been with someone I’ve… that…” Before he could find the words, the words that Senna couldn’t decide if she wanted to hear or was terrified of, she pulled his face down and kissed him again, wrapping her legs around him more tightly and urging him into her. Rex resisted for a moment, as if he was still going to try to get the words out, but when his cock grazed Senna’s slick folds, he surrendered, sinking into her with a groan. His eyes found her as he drew his hips back. She nodded, hoping the plea in her gaze was evident, and he pressed back into her, filling her perfectly.

This was different from the club. So different. She could feel the warmth of his skin pressed against hers, the way his hands trailed along her body, as if he wanted to feel every inch of her. Without the urgency that had driven them earlier, she was able to note every detail: the way his fingers wove into her hair, the way his breath felt against the skin of her neck and cheek as he panted against her, the way his back grew slick with sweat with every passing second, and the way his muscles rippled under her fingertips with every thrust. He was so reverent, tracing her skin rather than desperately groping her body as other lovers had in the past. He watched every expression she made, smirking when he drew moans and gasps from her, his lips falling open when she squeezed around him. He cupped her breast, squeezing gently and grazing her nipple with his thumb, which caused her to arch into his touch once more.

“You really like that, don’t you?” he rasped.

“Yes. Maker, yes.”

“What else do you like, Senna? Tell me what you want.”

Her brain fumbled with the question. It was surely meant to be innocuous in this moment, but Maker if it wasn’t a thermal detonator dropping into the pit of her stomach.

I want everything with you. I want to kiss you. I want to wake up next to you. I want you to look at me like that every day.

I want you to feel what I feel.

And I don’t want to lose everything.

“Harder,” she managed to choke out, hoping that response would suffice.

Rex chuckled darkly. “Yes ma’am.”

He pressed his knees forward so that they were more underneath him, and he did as she asked. His fingers tangled in her hair, and he pressed his forehead against hers as he snapped his hips into her once more. Senna’s inner turmoil was almost immediately forgotten as Rex found a devastating place inside of her, one she was fairly certain no one else had ever touched. The force behind every thrust of his hips made the bed creak underneath them, and it wasn’t long before Senna’s gasps turned to whines.

“Right there, Rex. Maker. Right there. Please don’t stop.”

“You gonna cum for me again, pretty girl? You gonna give me what I want?” he panted against her lips, cradling her head.

“Yes. Please. I’m so close, Rex. So close.”

He grunted. “I-I can feel you getting tighter around me.” His hands slipped under the curve of her ass, scooping her closer, and he ground his hips against her, driving his cock impossibly deeper. He buried his face in her neck.

“You’re perfect. You’re so perfect, Senna. I-I… can I fill you again?”

Heat flared in Senna’s belly. “Don’t stop, Rex. Please, fill me again.”

His eyes darkened as he began moving again, maintaining eye contact with her as his hips slapped against her thighs. “Well, when you ask like that, how can I refuse?”

Her eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted as his thrusts grew sharper, punching the air from her lungs as he pushed her closer to the edge again. She could feel his eyes burning into her as her back arched and her head tipped back. She moaned loudly as Rex found the place inside of her once more, grazing it with the blunt head of his cock hard enough to make her see a galaxy’s worth of stars behind her eyelids.

“Rex, ‘m close. I’m so close,” she whined. Her fingertips dug into his skin, scratching lightly, and that seemed to spur him on more. She could feel him beginning to shudder and his muscles tense as his thrusts grew more erratic.

“S-Senna, I…” He was interrupted with a punctured groan as his hips stuttered, and she felt his warmth coat her walls. The sensation was enough to yank her over the cliff after him, and her muscles locked down. Her body shuddered through wave after wave of her orgasm, and when the haze finally faded, her eyes fluttered open to find Rex hovering over her, watching her carefully as he tried to catch his breath. They stared into each other’s eyes, panting for a moment before Rex leaned down and placed a kiss to her lips and then her forehead. He lowered himself against her as his softening cock slipped from inside her. His chest was still rising and falling rapidly, and a slick sheen of sweat shone on his skin in the room’s dim lighting. Her fingers trailed along the curve of his collar bone, resting against the scar in the middle of his chest.

They were silent for what felt like an eternity, just watching one another. He eventually reached up, taking the hand that was tracing the scar in the middle of his chest and interlacing his fingers with hers. He slid to her side, pulling her leg over his thigh and bumping his nose against hers. She couldn’t help but smile, even though the alarm bells had begun to crescendo in her mind again.

Just let me have this moment with him. Just this.

She was grateful he didn’t say anything, instead just returning her smile. It was a conversation that she wasn’t ready to have, and when it happened, she wasn’t sure what she would say. But what she was certain of at this moment was that she was in love with this man, and that whatever came next, it would be the hardest decision she’d ever had to make.

Senna drifted off to the rhythm of Rex’s soft snores, soothed by the feeling of his arms around her as her mind whirled around what to do.

—

The first thing Rex felt in the morning was the warmth of Lothal’s sunlight on the bare skin of his back as it trickled in through their room’s solitary window. He basked in the place between sleep and approaching consciousness for a few more moments, reveling in how restful the night had been.

Best I’ve slept in over a year. Maybe ever. No nightmares.

But then again, there haven’t been any when I’m sleeping next to her.

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as the haze of sleep began to lift from his mind.

Senna.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen that way at all. He’d intended to have a conversation with her, to tell her how he felt and explain that he understood any hesitancy that she had. But he needed to know. Dammit, he’d tried at the festival, but as always, the Empire managed to derail things.

But then, they’d been in the club, and she’d pressed herself against him like that.

“It’s different when you touch me.”

And then she’d ridden him in that booth, coupled herself with him and chanted his name like a prayer, and Maker, she was even more beautiful than she’d been in any of his dreams.

But it had been quick, a taut string snapping. He knew that much, and knew better to mistake it for anything other than that. He’d had enough hook-ups during the war to understand the difference between satisfying needs and something more.

And that’s why he’d asked her for more in the inn, asked her to be with him again, just him.

And she had said yes.

He’d rarely been certain of what his future held throughout his life, having it often dictated by people that didn’t always have his best interest at heart. The autonomy he’d gained had been a massive adjustment in the past year, and while he still wasn’t certain what direction he was heading and how things would look in the next year or even the next day, he knew he wanted Senna with him. He wanted to find out what happened next. With her.

The night before seemed like a dream. The time they’d spent wrapped up in each other in this bed had confirmed everything he’d thought he was feeling for her. It wasn’t just physical attraction and blowing off steam; he’d never felt a connection like this with anyone else. He was falling in love with her at breakneck speed, and now, he felt less eager to fight those feelings. He’d let his guard down, and it had been worth it in every way. Rex almost didn’t want to open his eyes, just on the off chance that it would all dissipate around him. But he could feel the sheets on his skin, he could feel the ache in muscles that had long gone unused. And he could still hear how his name sounded on her lips echoing in his mind.

Rex.

His hand drifted over the sheets to the opposite side of the bed, dipping into the divot that she’d occupied during the night.

It was cold.

He opened his eyes, blinking in the bright light. The bed had been mostly remade on her side.

A soft shuffling behind him drew his attention, and he rolled over to find Senna, fully clothed and sitting on the floor, pulling on her boots.

“Mornin’,” she said. She couldn’t meet his eyes.

His heart fell.

“Mornin’,” he replied, watching her carefully.

Something in his voice must have given him away. She paused, finally looking at him. “The meet with Fisk is in an hour. Figured we should get there early enough to scout things out and make sure we know all the ins and outs.”

He nodded, still watching her. She went back to pulling her boots on. He wet his lips.

“Senna, I-”

She raised a hand, and he fell silent. “I know you’re going to want to talk about last night, and I can’t right now. We can’t. We both need clear heads for this, and this discussion deserves more than a few rushed minutes. Don’t you think?”

He could follow her reasoning and even agreed with it to an extent, but something about her demeanor made him uncertain how to feel overall.

“Sure. We can talk when we get back.”

She nodded. “Good. Glad that’s settled then.” She tossed him his trousers from the floor. “Get dressed.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

—

“See anything?” Senna asked into her commlink, pulling her modulator mask they had salvaged on the way to the market down a little further and adjusting her hood, ensuring that nothing identifiable of her was visible. The mask completely covered her face with only a polarized, reflective viewport, an air filtration apparatus, and of course the voice modulator itself that, when activated, made her sound like a droid when she spoke.

“Not since the last time you asked me thirty seconds ago,” Rex grumbled back through the comm.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m starting to think he’s going to be a no-show.”

“Isn’t patience one of your things?” he asked.

“I was never particularly good at that thing.”

He grunted back through the comm, and she wondered if it had been a laugh. She hoped so.

The walk to the market had been more tense than she’d anticipated with the gap between them both shrinking and somehow expanding at the same time. The look on Rex’s face that morning when he’d woken up nagged at her. He’d been so excited to see her when he first rolled over that she briefly considered calling the whole meet off and just crawling back into bed with him. When she'd pulled herself together and been stern, she could see his confusion, his hurt.

She’d never meant to hurt him.

Selfish. That’s what you are, Aven.

The rising sun had brought with it clarity and regret. She didn’t necessarily regret the sex, but the timing couldn’t have been poorer. It wasn’t how she’d wanted it to go if it was going to happen. She had wanted Rex, and she had given in without considering any other factors aside from her own desire. She hadn’t stopped to consider his feelings, the consequences of crossing that line, or the fact that she’d put Rex in danger the night before, and it wasn’t the first time. His words from her last meeting with Fisk echoed in her mind.

"So if you’re ever in a position like that again, you fight like hell, and I will come and find you, no matter what happens next."

Even before they’d slept together, Rex had been willing to sacrifice himself to save her, to put himself in harm’s way on her account. She had to imagine it would only be worse now. It was a point to be debated, but not right before this meeting with Fisk. The conversation deserved time and consideration, something they definitely didn’t have this morning.

At least his head seems clear.

She just hoped that by the time they did sit down and talk, she’d have the right words for it. Right now, she felt like she was floundering still. Being with Rex had been so easy, and it had felt good. It had felt right. She was in love with him, there was hardly any denying that, and she was also pretty sure he reciprocated those feelings. It was hard to deny that being true with the way he’d looked at her, with the way he’d touched her.

How he’s always touched you. How he’s always been with you.

Has it been that long?

I’m such a fool.

Hot tears stung her eyes beneath the mask.

And now I may have ruined everything. For him. For me. For us.

Suddenly, she spotted the flash of a uniform in the crowd, Commander Fisk’s polished rank plaque gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. “Look alive, he’s here,” she buzzed into the comm, glad the modulator covered the strain of her voice. She glanced up at the rooftop he was perched on, noting the glint of his blaster and the flash of blonde hair. His presence soothed her, knowing he was watching and had her back. There was no way for Fisk to recognize her, no reason for him to suspect it was her, but her fingers still flexed nervously in her gloves. She quickly adjusted her cloak and hood one more time and made sure her hair was tucked within the mask before trailing a safe distance behind the commander.

Fisk wove throughout the stalls towards the designated meeting spot at the back of the market. Senna allowed several people to pass in between them, occasionally stopping at stalls and looking at wares while keeping an eye on the sweating man in his black dress uniform. Once he made it to the corner she’d specified, he stopped turning slowly, his eyes scanning the crowd. She saw his eyes pass right over her without hesitation.

You hold the upper hand. He has no idea it’s you.

“Any obvious tails?” she whispered into her comm.

“None that I can see. Just be cautious. Keep your head on a swivel,” Rex’s voice rumbled in reply.

“Roger that. I’ll leave my comm on so you can eavesdrop, so radio silence from here on out.”

“You got it.”

She did her best not to consider the sharpness of his tone.

Senna casually wove her way through the throng, circling behind Fisk, allowing her eyes to rove the crowd, looking for anyone that was staring at him a bit too long or looked like they didn’t belong. After a few minutes, she was satisfied and quietly walked up behind him, her back to him.

“Afternoon, Commander Fisk. Nice to see you out and about,” her voice buzzed. She couldn’t hear it well inside the hood, but Rex had assured her the modulator made her sound unrecognizable. That didn’t stop her from holding her breath as she waited for his reply.

He didn’t turn his head, but he peered at her from out of the corner of his eye. “It’s not like you gave me much of an option, scum.”

He definitely doesn’t know it’s you. You’re safe.

The tension left her shoulders, replaced by a calm confidence and an urge to make the commander squirm. “Now, now, there’s no reason to start name calling. I’m here to help you out of the mess you’ve created by being a lazy Imperial. Wouldn’t want your superiors to find out you’ve been breaking protocol with your decryption disk and flaunting all sorts of other security rules. You’re a walking security breach, Fisk.”

A trail of sweat rolled down his temple, glistening in the sun. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, you told that woman about your encryption disk in the market loud enough for everyone within the system to hear you. I’m sure that’s not the only rule you’ve broken as a matter of convenience.” She chuckled to herself, unable to resist a quick taunt. “Was it worth it by the way? Was she impressed?”

He scoffed.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then.”

Fisk’s temple throbbed with indignation. “What do you want?”

“Information of course.”

“Pertaining to what?”

“The massive engineering project the Empire is undertaking.”

“You’ll have to be more specific.”

An impatient edge crept into her voice. “Don’t play dumb, Fisk. It doesn’t suit you in this instance. Tell me about the project that’s got the Empire willing to strip Lothal of virtually all of its resources and render it nearly uninhabitable. The superweapon.”

Her comm started crackling in her pocket. She reached down to turn it off before she realized it was crackling in a very specific, rhythmic pattern. Rex didn’t have a voice mod, but he was trying to signal her of something. She turned to look at Fisk, and he was facing her now, a devilish grin sweeping across his face.

Oh, kriff.

Suddenly, a legion of stormtroopers came charging down the street behind her, their boots clicking against the pavement. She whirled to find Fisk leveling his blaster at her. “How unfortunate,” he gloated. “It seems we’ll have to meet again another time. Perhaps an interrogation chamber this afternoon?”

As his finger clenched the trigger, Senna instinctively reached out with the Force to push his arm skyward, sending the blaster fire into the air. It was a desperate move, and to her surprise, it worked, although not as strongly as she would have liked.

Good enough. Getting better.

Racing forward, she landed a punch to his face before grabbing his shoulders and kneeing him in the groin. He let out a satisfying yelp as he dropped to his knees and she kicked his dropped blaster away. “SEIZE HIM! SEIZE THE SPY! HE’S A JEDI!” Fisk screeched, spittle flying from his mouth as his eyes bulged.

A little sexist with the assumption, but I guess that tracks for him, she thought as she turned and raced for cover.

At least I know he really doesn’t suspect me now.

The building corner behind her exploded with blaster fire from the approaching stormtroopers, and she dove behind the nearest stall. Drawing the blaster Rex had given her that morning, she ran, staying low behind the stalls, aiming for the opposite corner of the market and trying to blend into the crowd. Everyone was running and screaming as the stormtroopers marched forward, taking aim at the hooded figure scrambling to get away. Unable to push through the stampede of people, Senna took refuge behind the counter of a fruit vendor’s stand.

She fumbled in her pocket, yanking her comm out. “Hey, you there? I’m in a bit of a tough spot.”

“Yes, you are. I can see you tucked down behind that stall. You’ve got a lot of company,” Rex replied. She tried to get eyes on Rex, but the second she lifted her head up above the wooden counter of the stall, the air around her erupted with plasma bolts.

“Keep your karking head down,” Rex’s voice growled from the comm.

“How many?” she gasped, sitting back down heavily.

“I’m estimating you’ve got a dozen inbound from the direction you came, and another two squads of about the same amount flanking you from the south and the northeast. Your best bet is to get to the western corner. I’ll make my way down there and meet you in the second alley on the right.”

“You got it. Can I get a little cover fire?” she asked as one of the fruit on the stall’s counter exploded just to her left from a blaster bolt barrage.

“Yes, ma’am.” Rex took aim with his weapon and peppered the troopers approaching her from behind. One or two fell, and the others scrambled to find cover. As they scattered, Senna stood, taking advantage of the confusion and, leveling her blaster at them, fired off several rounds in quick succession as she raced towards the exit. By now, the market had mostly cleared of everyone except the Imperials, and Senna realized they’d brought a small army to apprehend her.

Kriff.

“Don’t stop running,” came Rex’s voice from the commlink in her hand. “Detonators incoming.” Explosions erupted behind her a few seconds later, and Senna ducked instinctively. The air around her filled with smoke and dust, and her ears were ringing slightly from the blasts.

“Thanks for the heads up,” she muttered into the comm.

“Less sass, more running.”

The western corner still had a pretty good crowd, and they weren’t getting out of Senna’s way fast enough. She slammed into bypasser after bypasser, trying to duck low. Suddenly, the street opened up and she was dumped into an intersection. She whirled frantically, trying to search the street for the rendezvous point Rex had indicated.

Did I miss the alley?

Turning around, she finally caught sight of the alley, and she swore under her breath when saw that the stormtroopers had already advanced beyond it, blocking her from it. However, they too were struggling to get through the crowd, and she imagined her brown cloak made her a hard target to pick out in the masses. Pulling out her comm, she flicked on the button, voice modulator still buzzing. “I missed the rendezvous.”

There was a heavy sigh on the other end of the link. “Of course you did. Where are you now?”

“In some sort of major intersection. I think –”

A blaster bolt struck her directly in her abdomen before she could finish her thought, knocking the wind from her.

Senna had never been shot before, but it was about what she expected: a radiating burst of the worst pain she’d ever felt, a burning sensation and smell, a strong force that knocked her off balance. Her mind screamed and her vision blurred slightly as she fell forward onto her hands, her eyes frantically scanning the crowd around her. She struggled to breathe, unable to scream from the flaring pain originating in her stomach, and her limbs trembled beneath her.

Rex. Please don’t find me, she thought.

Just run.

I’m sorry.

She collapsed to the ground, grasping at her side and gasping for breath. The pain was immense, numbing her senses as she felt where the blaster bolt had burned into her body. Her mind only caught glimpses of what was around her as she tried to get her bearings.

A purple skirt fluttering over running boots, a child’s doll abandoned in the dirt, familiar brown eyes that were Rex’s and weren’t, disappearing in a flash of fading blue.

She blinked in confusion.

Blaster. Where’s your blaster?

She clawed at her weapon in the dirt, finally grabbing it and whipping it around to fire at her pursuers. The stormtroopers were advancing slowly from about twenty meters away, and she managed to land a hit on the one furthest forward. If she was going down, she would take a few with them. But they never retaliated.

Why aren’t they firing back? I’m on the ground? Why…

The reasoning slammed into her with alarming clarity.

They…they want me alive.

Her mind raced in terror, flooded with images of an interrogation room, of a captured Rex in binders, of Fisk’s triumphant grin.

No.

I have to get up. I have to get up. GET UP.

She noticed several of the stormtroopers had held back and were scanning the crowd.

They know I’m not alone. They’re trying to draw him out. I have to get out of here.

GET UP. YOU HAVE TO GO.

Muttering every curse she knew, she pushed herself up with one hand and stumbled unsteadily towards the opposite direction, the pain blinding her. Another volley of blaster bolts hit the dirt at her feet, narrowly missing her.

Run. RUN.

She tripped over her own dragging toes, falling to the ground again. Suddenly, two smoke grenades rolled to a stop meters in front of her, releasing their gas and obscuring her from view. She heard the stormtroopers shout in alarm and another volley of shots cut through the smoke over her head. She scrambled forward and abruptly found herself in the crowd on the opposite side of the intersection. A flash of dark brown cut through the sea of panicked people and suddenly a large hand grabbed her arm, pulling her further into the throng.

“CAN YOU RUN?” Rex shouted over the din of the panicked mob. He had a scarf pulled over the bottom of his face, hiding his nose and mouth, but there was urgency in his eyes, and something else that Senna had never seen before from him; he was afraid.

The pain in her side was causing her body to unload adrenaline in her system, and suddenly she was awake in the chaos. She nodded, hissing as she clasped her hand over the burn mark in her tunic, pressing against the blaster wound. They raced through the crowd, Rex’s arm wrapped around her waist, fingers digging into her belt to hold her up.

“Keep your head down!”

They raced along the edge of the buildings lining the street, blaster fire echoing over their heads as the advancing soldiers tried to clear the crowd to search for their quarry. Quickly, Rex pulled her down a series of alleyways, weaving in between dwellings and ducking through archways until they were halfway down a dark passage and the sound of the mayhem had faded slightly behind them. He tucked her behind a stack of empty crates, leaning her against an exterior wall.

“Stay here.”

She ripped off her modulator mask, gasping loudly. “Does it look like I’m going anywhere?”

He ignored the comment, heading back the way they’d come with long strides, blaster tucked against his side with his finger on the trigger. Senna waited for several minutes, trying to make herself as inconspicuous as possible behind the crates, listening to the commotion she assumed was their pursuers fading further into the distance. Her fear of being vulnerable almost numbed the throbbing pain coming from the blaster wound.

After what felt like an eternity, Rex returned, pulling down his face cover. “They’re a good distance off and headed in the opposite direction of us, but they’re organizing sweeps of the district. We have to get moving.” He looked down at her shaking hand pressing into her abdomen, a small trickle of blood seeping through her fingers. “Alright, let’s see it,” he whispered, crouching down in front of her.

She gasped as he peeled her hand away, revealing the nearly perfectly circular hole in her clothing. His fingers found the edge of her tunic, and his eyes met hers, asking permission. She nodded at him, and he gently pulled the fabric up to reveal the injury. She gasped in pain as some of the fibers from her tunic that had been fused into the cauterization of the wound pulled at her damaged skin, and he pressed his forehead to hers, quietly shushing her.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Pulling a small light from his belt, he illuminated the small space to try and get a better look. She felt her body tingle as she stared at the decent-sized hole in her abdomen. He noted her shock.

“What, have you never been shot before?” he tried to tease, but she could see the concern etched into his features and how hard he swallowed.

“You know, the idea was to not get shot,” she muttered through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, well not all of us succeeded at that,” he replied. “I didn’t get that scar in the middle of my chest playing bolo-ball.” He clicked off the light and dug through his hip pouch. “I’m afraid I didn’t bring much in terms of first aid, so you’ll have to make do with a bacta patch until we can get back. The good news is it appears mostly cauterized with minimal bleeding, and I don’t think it hit anything critical.”

“I gotta tell you, Rex, when it hit me, and you say it didn’t hit anything critical, that kind of hurts,” she joked.

Taking a sterilization pad from his pouch, he looked up at her sympathetically. “Unfortunately, I think this is going to hurt worse,” and without any additional warning, he pressed it against the wound. Senna squirmed back against the wall, a quiet curse erupting from her while she bit back a yelp, but he held her still, leaning against her and pressing his forehead against hers once more, whispering apologies. She wrapped her arms around him, digging her fingers into the fabric of his cloak as he tried as gently as he could to clean the damage.

“I really don’t like you right now,” she hissed in his ear.

“Understandable. Hang on, we’re almost done.”

He leaned back as he unwrapped a bacta patch and looked at her. She could feel the tear stains running down her dust-covered cheeks, but she sniffled defiantly as he leaned forward to place the patch.

“This should feel better than the disinfectant,” he tried to reassure her.

“Yeah, I’ll believe it when I –“ he pressed the patch on without preamble, the pressure making her curse one more time.

She leaned back against the wall, gently banging the back of her head against it and pounding her first into the dirt until the pain finally dulled to a throbbing ache. Some of the tension in her shoulders eased, and she suddenly felt exhausted.

It’s too much. All too much.

Rex gave her a few more minutes to recover as he kept an eye on the opposite end of the passage.

“Can you walk upright?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“You can’t look hurt.”

“I know, Rex,” she snapped, finally hitting her limit.

He eyed her before tossing her a new tunic. “Put this on. Your shirt’s got a pretty obvious burn mark and plenty of blood on it.”

“Where did you even get this?”

“Found someone’s laundry line when I doubled back to make sure we’d lost them.”

She huffed a laugh. “You know, you might just be smarter than you look.”

His mouth tugged into a flash of a smirk before he schooled his expression back to stoicism. “Just put it on. We’re not out of this yet,” he muttered, turning his back to give her some privacy.

A snarky comment about how he’d already seen her naked died in her throat.

Not the time.

After several seconds of grunting and swearing Senna managed to wriggle into the tunic, tapping Rex on the shoulder. “Well, this might be as good as it gets.” The garment was a little large on her, but it at least didn’t press against the bacta patch quite so much.

He took her cheeks in his hands and did his best to wipe away the tear stains and dust as she pulled her cloak back around her shoulders. She ignored the tenderness of the gesture and tried not to overthink it. Using her ruined shirt, she attempted to clean as much of the blood off of her hands as she could.

“Alright, are you ready? We’re going to have to move quickly,” he rasped, his eyes searching hers.

She nodded, and he handed her a scarf to cover her face, pulling his own back up as well. The two of them crept back out of the alley and walked into the street, pulling their hoods low and blending into the crowd. Instinctively, their hands found each other as they stuck to each other’s sides.

—

They made it back to the inn just as the sun was beginning to sink towards the horizon. Senna managed to remain upright and keep the façade of being perfectly fine intact until they got to their room. Quickly, Rex helped her inside and shut the door behind them.

“Would it be better to sit up or lie down?” he asked.

“I think just put me on the bed and I’ll figure it out,” she grimaced. He quickly guided her over to the edge of the mattress and allowed her to sit, helping her peel her cloak off. She did her best not to think about what they’d done in that bed the night before. “I think laying down is going to be the way to go,” she conceded after a few minutes.

“Alright, lay across it width-wise,” Rex instructed. “I should be able to get at it better that way anyway.” He dug through his kit for medical supplies before dragging a chair to the edge of the bed. Senna tipped back on her elbows, pulling the stolen tunic up and peeling off the bacta patch with a grunt of discomfort.

Rex was quiet as he gave her an injection to numb the pain, working quickly and carefully to flush the wound to clean it better. Once he had ensured that the clotting hadn’t trapped any foreign substances, he replaced the bacta patch with a more potent one designed specifically for blaster wounds.

Laying there, watching him work, Senna couldn’t help but notice the furrows in Rex’s brow were even more prominent than usual, and she remembered the fear in his eyes when he had grabbed her. Sitting up gingerly once he went to dispose of the used supplies in the waste bin by the window, she pulled her shirt back down to cover the bandage, gently testing her mobility by twisting and turning a bit. Her eyes fell to where he stood, his back to her as he stared out the window. His hands were trembling at his sides.

She still wasn’t ready for the conversation she could sense barrelling towards her, but she’d made her decision.

You owe him that much.

Taking a deep breath, she leaned her elbows onto her knees.

“You should have left me there.”

A poor opening statement, but she hadn’t had time to think of a better one. Rex turned to look at her, the furrow between his brows deepening.

“Most people would start with ‘thanks for saving my life,’ but I suppose you’ve never been someone to do things the normal way.”

Anger flared within her. “You could have been captured. This entire trip was allowed on the premise that we wouldn’t get captured.”

“So I was supposed to just let you be the one to get captured then?” His voice had dropped to a familiar gravelly octave, one that she’d only ever heard on Empire Day. “I told you I wouldn’t let that happen.”

What right does he have to be angry?

“Rex –”

“You don’t understand,” he interrupted. “You…you went down so hard and you didn’t move. I thought…I thought I’d lost you.” He was barely keeping his emotions at bay, his voice softening slightly. “I can’t…I can’t lose you, Senna.”

“Losing people is part of war,” she countered sharply, trying not to let herself crumble. “We’re still fighting. It’s always a possibility.”

He shook his head firmly, and she grew silent again. “Not. You. I won’t lose you,” he rasped quietly.

She opened her mouth, searching for words, and then Rex’s comm buzzed. She gingerly pushed herself to a standing position, slowly walking towards the desk where it rested, but he grabbed her wrist firmly as she tried to pass him.

“Leave it,” he said quietly. He stepped closer to her, clasping her hands in his tightly. “I don’t want to fight with you right now,” he whispered. “Senna, I need to tell you something.”

Her breath hitched at his touch, and she felt tears spring to her eyes unbidden. She knew what he wanted to say. And she knew she had to stop it from happening.

“Rex, we can’t,” she whispered.

His head snapped up and his eyes met hers. The hurt in his warm, brown irises gutted her.

“What? But last night –”

“Was a mistake, Rex.” She hoped she sounded firm, even if she didn’t completely believe it to be true.

You love him.

But you can’t do this to him.

The pain in his eyes almost killed her resolve. She’d never wanted to hurt him. That was the last thing she wanted. But that was all she would do, together or apart, physically or emotionally.

Better to stop it before it starts.

“I don’t believe you,” he rasped. “I see how you look at me, Senna. How you were with me. Please.”

“We CAN’T,” she said with all of the force and firmness she could muster.

“We could. We could be-“ he tried again, but Senna charged forward, cutting him off again.

“Be what, Rex? Liabilities to one another?” she sighed, desperately trying to keep her voice from cracking.

How does he not see? With all that strategic ingenuity and wit, how can he not see how this ends?

“Do you think that we aren’t already?”

Frustration overtook her, and she stalked away from him, pacing at the opposite end of the room. “It will only get worse, no matter which direction this goes. Either we become closer and the missions become more dangerous, and we wind up making bad calls to keep one another safe, or we grow apart and can no longer rely on each other. We have to not change things. This is working right now, as it is. We have to do this.”

“What if we don’t want to?”

She laughed incredulously. “What we want doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

“Because it doesn’t,” she snapped. “Not in the grand scheme of things. We are working for something so much bigger than ourselves, Rex, and lives depend on us. You know that. If you wanted to live out your fantasy life with a wife and kids on your farm, you should have walked away after the war ended. You should have run off to some outer rim world and hunkered down there. I can’t give you that life. We don’t have that option now.”

He scoffed. “So that’s it then. We choose to do this, put our lives on the line and stand up for what’s right, and you think we don’t deserve happiness because of that? If anything, I’d say we’re more deserving of it.” He scrubbed his hands over his hair. “Are you seriously going to stand there and tell me you don’t feel the same way that I do, Senna?”

He knows you.

She jutted her chin out defiantly, clenching her fists so hard she was certain she’d have bloody crescents where her fingernails dug into her palms. Taking a deep breath, she met his gaze. “I don’t feel the same way, Rex. I don’t feel that we can do this and have those sorts of attachments.”

The word landed the way she’d hoped. She knew it would. It didn’t make it hurt any less.

“How very Jedi of you,” he replied darkly. “Tossing out the attachment rule when it best suits you.”

She tried to keep her gaze and tone level. “I’m trying to keep you…keep us alive. I can’t love you and do my job.”

“So, you love me then.”

Fuck.

Anger and frustration flared within her. Anger at her accidental admission, anger that she couldn’t be with him, and anger that he couldn’t understand why.

“Why don’t you tell me since you seem to have all of this figured out, Captain?” she snarled. “Since you seem to know exactly what I want.”

In a move her addled brain could have never accounted for, Rex walked swiftly across the room to where she was pacing, slipped his fingers into her hair and kissed her. Senna’s breath caught in her throat along with every retort she’d been preparing to sling at him. The familiarity of his lips on hers and the way his hands cradled her face finally pulled the tears from her eyes, and they streamed down her cheeks.

You love him. Fuck, you love him.

Rex pulled away first, resting his forehead against hers and stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “I would never presume to tell you what you want, Senna. But I need to hear you tell me again that you don’t want this. Tell me again and mean it.”

The tears wouldn’t stop coming as Senna’s hands slipped around his wrists. “Rex, I…we…I just can’t. Please don’t ask this of me.” With that, she shoved past him into the refresher. He let her go, the door sliding shut behind her.

Senna managed to wait until the door completely closed before she leaned back against it, slowly sinking to the floor. She buried her face in her hands, sobbing as quietly as she could.

Of course she wanted him. She’d been in love with him for longer than she cared to think about and had just refused to acknowledge it. How could she, knowing the task they had ahead of them and what it would mean for both of them? If they were discovered by leadership, what would that mean? Expulsion from the rebellion? Because how could anyone count on two romantically involved people to be objective, to keep their eyes on the prize? And even if no one found out, how could she allow it to happen, especially after today? After last night? After the night with Fisk?

He’ll always put you first. He’ll always risk everything for you.

And I can’t allow that. Even if I love him. And even if he loves me.

There was a soft knock at the door, and she straightened up, frantically wiping the tears on her face away and clearing her throat. “Yeah?”

“That was Organa. Word’s out about the incident in the market.”

Fuck. Already made it to the Senate. She closed her eyes. Fuck.

“They’re still searching that district, but it sounds like the search will expand within the next few hours,” Rex continued. “We need to get a transport out of here before they lock down the ports. We are to return to our dwelling and await further instruction.” His voice was back to the stern tone that he’d used when they first met. It broke her heart.

“Understood. I can have everything packed in half an hour.”

She heard him stand outside the door for a few more seconds, and with a deep sigh, walk away, the main door to their room sliding open and shut. She took one more deep breath, and then got to her feet to begin preparing for the return journey.

She caught her own reddened, tear-filled eyes in the mirror.

This is right. For both of us. Even if he can’t see it yet. And even if I can’t.

Wiping at her cheeks, she squared her shoulders.

This is how it has to be.

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