#(and especially for that week of work being during a very bad mental health time)

[kayleerowena]

🔮🗝️ ghost of masks 🗝️🔮

part of my deck of spirits project! i'm posting early previews of most cards on my patreon rather than my public social media, but i really like how this one turned out, so it gets to be posted publicly.

patreon 🎭 tip jar 🎭 prints of the original deck

[emersonfreepress]

help i'm alive

So! Long time, no see. 2023 was a whole goddamn lot lol

I don't have a demo update to share yet, but that's because I had to scrap nearly everything I managed to write during a very, very, very bad stint of writer's block last year. I hadn't even realized it had been a block like that until I went over my work so far last month and realized it was bad -- like, trust me; a slog to read that didn't even sound like me. It's been extremely frustrating but I've finally broken free of that and it's been easy and actually fun to write again for the first time in actual years. I just hate giving updates that have no actual news in them. And I really had nothing to share other than: I deleted thousands of words and feel so much better now 😅

Anyway, little about my demo plans have changed: I'm still putting out the Chapter 3 demos in Choicescript/on Dashingdon and then will be going dark to move things over to Twine. Where I am in the process right now is... feeling like 35% done with the overhauled version of this chapter and 50% done for the next demo update.

As far as asks, I'm... not really sure what to do?? I believe I've read them all (I love you guys), but so much time has passed since getting most of them that I'm not sure if it's, like... still pertinent??? To go back and answer them?? I suppose some of them like character asks could be, but all the nice messages of support -- that feels weird since I've practically ghosted this blog since August! Idk. Y'all tell me what to do with 'em and I'll do it. Maybe I should make a poll.

Uh... that's really all there is to say regarding the game! I've added some personal stuff after the cut, but if you're done here: Thanks for reading and sticking around. It means the world, for real.

So what has occupied my time all this time? Doctor, therapy, money, and friends. And improv! But especially the first two. There was a lot of non-writing related stuff fucking up my ability to focus and write, so hopefully with my mind and body both feeling a lot better, I can get back to being present and active with the game. I didn't realize how physically unwell I was until last year and it's been like... life-long issues I've been treating. It turns out it's not normal to feel exhausted enough to sleep at any given time, at all times, for your whole life! wow!!

I also uninstalled Tumblr from my phone back in February, so you could say I'm sort of generally focused on offline life. (And what an interesting coincidence that my writer's block dissipated shortly after that...) I also just moved!! The last two weekends have been so expensive and stressful -_- But I can't even compare the old place to the new. We're basically paying the same price for idek how much more space. The cats are so happy; which means the house humans get to be happy.

My schedule is finally freed up from constant medical shit (there was a 3-month stretch this winter with multiple doctor appointments literally every fucking week 🙃🙃🙃). My mental health is doing a lot better -- literally incomparably better compared to where I was this time last year. There's live comedy now (which I dabble in, to be clear lol), but I've finally found myself able to like... balance it all. The physical and creative energy that goes into it all, anyway. The lovely thing about improv is that you kinda just show up and do your thing -- it doesn't cut into my writing time so much as it costs energy. Unless I end up in this comedy debate show thing next month, which I am very excited to give up writing time for

So like... Life is life-ing and I'm just vibing. Or something? I'll be around.

Thank you all again so much for your interest, support, patience, and readership <3

[alotofpockets]

Moon | Wanda Maximoff

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Based on the song Moon by Reneé Rapp. Reader is having a hard time sleeping after a bad breakup with Wanda.

A/n: This is a repost from an old account.

Masterlist | Marvel masterlist | Words: 1K

Sleep didn’t come easy to you these days, you spend your nights either staring at your ceiling or outside of your window, your thoughts never ending. The lack of sleep caused by your breakup with Wanda was taking a toll on your mental health. Though, your days tend to be better than your nights, during the day you have enough distractions to not miss Wanda. However, the second you flipped the lights off and you’re in this room at night, that’s when your mind starts wondering, thinking back on the time you spent with her. Remembering all the happy memories that you shared, though of course that only made you miss her more.

It hurts that she’s somewhere out there still existing, while you feel like you don’t sometimes. You feel like a robot on autopilot trying to navigate through the week. You get up in the morning, go to work, get home, eat, go to bed, and do it all over the next day. Nothing more than a step by step routine, a mindless cycle, to survive.

It had been incredibly hard to try and not care about Wanda, when all you wanted to do was convince her to stay. In your mind you knew that was never going to happen though, she had made that very clear. Not to say the breakup was all Wanda’s fault though. You had hoped for Wanda to see your point, to fight for what you had, but you ended up having different views. Talking about those differences had ended up in a much different way than you had imagined. 

Wanda had come back injured from yet another mission, it broke you to see her hurt, especially because it happened over and over again. She would come back home with cuts, bruises and broken bones, mission after mission. It was getting bad to the point that you just had to share your thoughts on the matter.

“Darling, you’re hurt again, that is like the third time this month. You have to be more careful.” You said sharing your concerns. In hindsight bringing this conversation up right after she came back from an exhausting mission wasn’t the best timing, but there was no turning that back around. “I can’t very well put my safety first when I am trying to help people, y/n.” Wanda replied in annoyance. “When I am saving lives, I have to put their lives in front of my own, that’s kind of in the job description.” - “I know it’s a part of the job, it’s just that I am trying to plan a future with you but each time you’re on a mission I am afraid that you won’t come back to me, and that scares me. I know how important being an Avenger is to you. How important it is to right the wrongs from your past, but at what point will saving lives and putting your own in danger make it even?” You’re getting frustrated, as all these emotions have been piled up over the past couple of months. You should’ve communicated feeling this way sooner, you realize that now, maybe then you would still be able to fix this.

“If you know how important this is to me, you wouldn’t ask me to give it up.” You take a deep breath before speaking again. “I’m not asking you to give it up. I’m just.. I guess I’m just asking if you can work in the field less. You can be an Avenger in many ways, training or less invasive missions for example. All I’m asking is for you to prioritize our future a bit more.” Wanda was clearly not agreeing with you as she replied back to you with, “That certainly could be a possibility for some people, but not for me. I am not going to change what I love doing the most in this world for an outcome that is up to fate anyways. I’m not giving up on the one thing that makes me feel the slightest bit okay with what I did in my past, not just because you’re scared that I might not make it. I can handle myself just fine and why don’t you just work on being less worried?” 

The tears you had been holding in were now rolling down your cheeks. “I can’t, Wanda. I can’t go on like this anymore. I can’t keep thinking you are going to die everytime you go out on a mission. I can’t, I can’t do this. If you don’t want to try for us, I think this is it.” 

That was the last time you had seen Wanda in person. Wanda didn’t want to fight for your future together, and you couldn’t keep going without any change. So, that’s how your three year relationship ended. A part of you understood that it wasn’t fair of you to ask her to step down, as you knew how important being an Avenger was to her, but the bigger part of you still stood behind your own needs. It would have happened over time anyways but you couldn't imagine staying happy in a relationship where you’re constantly worried about if they’re going to come back to you alive, especially because she had no interest in being safer and more caring about her own life, in any way, shape or form.

The conversation of that night plays over and over in your head, while you’re laying in bed looking out of the window. The moon shines bright and you wonder if Wanda is having trouble sleeping too, is she looking at the moon, just as you are? The night skies stare back at you as in the stars, you can see her eyes. The only place left for you and her to exist. 

As the light reflecting off the moon casts streaks of light onto your face, your last thought before closing your eyes was you wondering, when we’re looking at the same moon, do you miss me too?

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being physically close with a guy before breaking up with my ex? (🧋 To find easier)

Sorry for the long explanation!

Last year I( at the time 16, closeted Agender) was dating this guy (at the time 16, M) who we'll call T. Looking back on it I realise I mostly started dating him because he was the first genuine friend I'd made after moving to our country during COVID, and I've always struggled to differentiate romantic and platonic feelings. A few months in I could tell that this simply wasn't working for me and that the only reason I wasn't leaving was because he really really liked me (I was the first person he'd ever dated) and I'd feel guilty for breaking his heart. Eventually I realised I was somewhere on the Aromantic spectrum, so I came out to him expecting it to be an instant deal breaker. He took me being aro much better then I expected and didn't see it as a reason for us to break up ,and I ended up crying a bunch and was so caught up in the euphoria of him accepting me that I agreed to stay in the relationships.

A few weeks pass and things keep deteriorating, to the point where I thought I was ace (I was not. Turns out I just really was not attracted to him anymore) and because I was still too much of a coward to explain my reasons for breaking up directly, I tried to break up with him under the guise of being aroace because I thought SURELY this horny teenage boy would see this as a deal breaker! Again, he accepted me and again I was so full of guilt/euphoria that I let him talk me out of breaking up.

A bit after this, but BEFORE I finally cut off things for real, I a met a guy(at the time 17, m), K, through my friend's sister when I visited their house at the same time as him. We hit it off instantly, both bonding over being aro (though at the time I still thought I was ace) and within the first night of knowing each other we were cuddling, I sat on his lap (I also did this with my first friend but I'd known her for much longer then a few *hours*) and he was coming up and hugging me from behind. I made it very clear I was in a closed relationship, and both me and K agreed at the time that the touching was just platonic, esp since we are both just generally very touchy-feely people and despite T's many more incel-y traits he was never the jealous type.

Me and K met up a few more times, and we continued being touch-y. When he hugged good bye he'd put his hands on my waist, we'd frequently cuddle, he'd lay his head on my shoulder, I'd like down on his lap, etc etc. there was a boob touching incident once but that was an accident so I don't think it really counts? There also might have been an incident where he put his hand up my shirt a bit (like waist level, not bra level). He made sexual jokes about me and the only thing I did to rebuff him was saying that I was still in a closed relationship, not that I wasn't interested. After the third time we met up I finally accepted that I DID like him sexually, and that I was definitely not ace. I know thought crime isn't real but I feel like such as ass for being so touchy with K and using friendliness as an excuse. I AM touchy with my other friends, but even in the moment I knew my feelings for K were different then that.

I broke up with T about a week later (only reason it took that long is cause we live far away and I didn't want to break up over the phone, especially since that's what I did the previous two failed times). Me and K became friends with benefits a few days later. K knows he helped me realise I really needed to break up with T, but I haven't told him how big of a last straw he was.

I do not feel guilty about breaking up with T, he ended up being a huge asshole, however I am very against cheating. No matter how much I hate T for being a creepy bigoted asshole (would nag me about nudes every night, sent me massive paragraph long guilty trippy texts about how bad his mental health was even months after we broke up, is a little too into WW2 and his German great grandparents which makes my Jewish ass very uncomfortable, and he's said a lot of horrible things about me studying Sign Language) he still does not deserve to be cheated on. I feel like I tried my best to correct the situation once I came to terms with my own feelings, but I was still absolute pushing the boundaries even when I subconsciously knew the way I felt about K was different then my other friends.

This all happened a year ago now, My friends who met T and know about me and K are generally on my side because they dislike T, but Idk still feel guilty when I think back on how stuff unfolded. I know it might just be silly teen drama but I really hate the idea of being a hypocrite who preaches against cheating and then does basically the same thing

What are these acronyms?

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! You said that you need another vacation after this vacation, so I am not sure, how puppy situation, even if it partual custudy, affecting you ( may be you in panic when he is there and then recovering when he is not, and then round and round? ), but really, If you need another vacation, I hope you know we will be here to support you for it!

It's been nearly 4 weeks now since we got Toby so I feel like I can talk about this with a bit of a clear head.

(Talk of like an actual PTSD meltdown beneath the read-more, including self-harm mention - nothing graphic. There's zero obligation for anyone to read this, especially for folks who don't think authors should ever be honest about being people with issues):

So, I've been kind of quiet about aspects of this, but I have like severe treatment-resistant PTSD and C-PTSD, and puppies specifically are one of my triggers (especially if I'm responsible for them). The reason for that is kind of awful, and I don't really want to talk about some of the things I've experienced/been through that led to that, so let's just move onto the next part. You're kind of right anon, there has been panic while he is here lol.

As a result, I had a severe meltdown the first time I tried to adopt a dog many years ago now. Could not last 24 hours, needed weeks/months to recover.

But I've always wanted to share my life with a dog and I've been in a somewhat better space over the past year or so, and I thought I could maybe handle it better. I told myself 'if I can just get through that 24 hours I'll realise it's okay and it will all work out.' Anon I cannot tell you where this thinking came from, but it was wrong. Idk why past me was kind of naive enough to think this way but here we are.

No, after that 24 hours, it got temporarily better, and then I slammed into consecutive meltdowns, each one worse than the next, until the people around me were afraid for my life. I am still recovering from some of the harm I inflicted on myself during the last three weeks and likely will be for some time to come. The combination of a really intense PTSD relapse, as well as not being able to handle (as an AuDHD person) intense changes to my schedule basically compounded and I broke.

I made the decision to rehome Toby, and first contacted the people around me. Glen's mum said she wanted a dog, and had been specifically looking into dogs like Toby anyway, and so we decided this would be best because then I could still be involved (I love Toby to pieces).

After getting some space, I finally started to adjust, and have gone back to having Toby about 4~ days a week, with a view to going to about 6 days, with one day spent with my mum, or Glen's mum.

Today is the first day I was able to handle having him on my own for around 9.5 hours. And I'm here and able to write about it, so that's progress. He'll be here all day Sunday, and then Tues-Weds-Thurs-Friday. And from there a decision will be made as to where I'm at with my mental health etc.

I'm a bit more hopeful now that I might be able to keep him, but my PTSD is still very very bad. I'm having some nights where I'm simply not sleeping until 7.30am (even if he's not here), and my hypervigilance is crazy. Like, I am having so many auditory flashbacks it's stupid. So this is why I've been saying this break hasn't been very restful or productive. Because my mental health tanked like I detonated a landmine inside myself.

I didn't actually plan the two week break for Toby! That was just a coincidence honestly.

Unfortunately I have a lot of health conditions that respond very poorly to stress, so I'm dealing with those now too. And then additionally, in all of this, I had a breast scan / mammogram / ultrasound that has confirmed a suspicious lump I found a couple of months ago (breast cancer runs in the family), and I suspect I'm going to need a biopsy. I'll find out on Monday if that's the case. That's been in the background and hasn't been helping.

There's some other stuff going on that's not really worth talking about because these are the main things, but that's a good picture I think. It turns out 'just getting through the first 24 hours' doesn't magically make a severe PTSD trigger go away. And that forced exposure is not 'exposure therapy' - that's just reinforcing a trigger.

Anyway! I feel like I'm through the worst of it, and I am seeing glimpses of how my life could be richer if I keep getting through this. But...that's why I think another break. *smiles tiredly.* I have to wait a bit now for the PTSD / C-PTSD symptoms to settle down, and I also need to see what's kind of worsened after this. Realistically, with a relapse to this degree, it could take between 3-6 months to really start recovering, or to at least get back to where I was before December.

I hope with all my heart I can get there with Toby by my side. I love him so much.

(I want to add that Toby has never ever been in a position of harm at any point, and in fact I probably put myself in harm's way for his sake, because I wanted to provide solid continuity of care - in case anyone was worried about that).

Er so yeah! But I've picked up my writing again this week and have been able to do some like...things I'd been neglecting, and I feel more human again, I just hope I get some sleep tonight

[broomsick]

Is it alright if I ask you for some guidance on connecting with the Norse pantheon? I'm entering into a really scary time in my life, grappling with going to college in the city despite being (up until now) a lifelong country bumpkin and possibly even moving out for the first time, all while being a timid autistic person with a terrible anxiety disorder.

Basically if there's ever a time I'd need the gods to be present in my life it's now, but I still struggle to feel connected with them sometimes. I still connect with them, I've had dreams where I talk with Odin and Thor and Freyr, but I can't say they're a completely consistent part of my life. Sometimes I even question if they're really protecting me, even though I know that's almost certainly the anxiety talking.

Is there anything you'd recommend doing to connect with the gods during a really stressful time? I have a very small and honestly not very impressive altar so maybe I should work to spruce that up more. Any guidance would be appreciated, sorry for bothering you 🙏 Thanks!

Hi there! First of all, I want to tell you that moving out is indeed scary, and it's very brave of you to consider moving so far! I definitely understand your situation, as I haved struggled with anxiety pretty much forever. Unfortunately, being a pagan with this sort of mental health challenge can bring about a lot of insecurity. And I find that sometimes, it can also make us feel disconnected from our spirituality. I don't think that this is something we can completely overcome. As a matter of fact, I find that it's better to ask yourself "why do I feel this way right now?", rather than say "I should be feeling this way, so why don't I?". What I learned with time is that our day-to-day circumstances affect our spirituality more than we think. For example, I often start to feel disconnected from my spiritual life when I've had a stressful week at work, or even just when I try too long and too hard to connect with the Gods. And on top of that, with social media being the way it is, people cant help but compare themselves with pagans who have more time and money on their hands. Now, I'm no expert on all things psychology, but I do know about spirituality. And I know that it comes and goes in waves: every single polytheist I've met experiences moments when they don't feel as connected to their Gods as they used to. Even those whose very career was tied to their spiritual practices. But those are not bad news! It only means that you have a healthy relationship with spirituality, and that you're not letting it overshadow the other important aspects of your life.

But more on the tips to stay connected to the Gods. What I know for certain is that sometimes, we have no control over how connected we feel to them. But there are a lot ways for you to keep them close to your heart. The first, in my opinion, is to make your spirituality into a safe and happy place. Find ways to make it fun! By listening to music that feels spiritual to you, writing down prayers or devotional poems when you’re inspired, wearing a piece of jewelry in their honor, making a Pinterest board into a little online shrine, drawing a rune or sigil which represents them on your skin, making art of the deities you love… In other words, don’t be afraid to mix your passions and your faith. No matter how “casual” it may feel! Sometimes, “casual” is what we can manage given our busy lives (which is why the size of your altar does not matter, it’s the love you pour into tending it that makes all the difference). It’s both perfectly normal and healthy. And if something about your practice/belief doesn’t feel right anymore, simply let go of it. Same goes if you don’t resonate with something that every other pagan seem to do.

Another tip I can give you is to simply try (don’t worry, I will elaborate). By this, I mean adopt simple gestures to honor them, even if there might not necessarily be a response. I find that this is especially important in moments when you struggle to feel the presence of your Gods. Leave them a small portion of your dinner every now and then. Do a little bit of research on this or that deity when you can. And if you’ve got the time, offer them a fruit, or a cup of coffee! Anything will do, no matter how small. Light a candle for them every night (routine helps a lot), and pray if you’ve got something on your mind. It’s normal not to see some sort of immediate response. But if you look around yourself during the day— if you look at the sunset on your way home from work, at the trees that rustle with the wind, or at the rain pouring outside your window—, and if you listen carefully to what people tell you, you might start to notice some signs. Recurring patterns and omens are a typical example of signs that a deity might send. It’s also fun to draw parallels between every day things and your deities. For example, to think of Freyr when you tend a cute new house plant. Or to pray to Skaði during a snowstorm! I have always loved “inviting” deities to witness certain events, so as to share the joy with them. I simply close my eyes, focus of the deity I want to call out to, and speak their name aloud, or murmur it. Actually, if you’re interested in this topic, I have written this post, which could be helpful to you!

Don’t be afraid to keep trying, that’s my most important tip. There’s really not much else we can do when we feel disconnected from our faith. Make your belief into something that feels right. Spirituality should be a happy place for you, and not a reason for worry. You deserve for your practice as a norse pagan to feel joyful and fulfilling. Above all, don’t force anything: these sorts of moments are inevitable. I’ve known them myself, and so has every other pagan. But things will get better soon, that I guarantee!

[notyour-valentine]

Any headcanons about older Emma and Charlie? 🌷

🍷Join me for a Drink 🍷 - TBITW: Grown Emma and Charlie

[Celebration] [Celebration Masterlist] [Masterlist]

This was written as part of my Series The Boy in the Window and contains spoilers

Warning: WWII, Bombings, Injuries, mention of death and violence, medical treatments, sexism, mental health problems (18/21+). I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other.

Words: 1333

Tommy wants his children to go to the best possible school, which are mostly boarding schools, but can’t bring himself to send his children away. It is tricky to find a school, which takes both boys and girls but he won’t have them separated. 

In the end, they find a school which not only has both boys and girls from the age of sixteen, but also a looser boarding system, allowing them to come home on the weekend. 

For the first weeks, both parents are living in a rented house barely fifteen minutes away from the school in case the children need their help or want to go home. 

Especially Charlie is homesick at first, but he has Emma and knows he can go home every weekend, which makes the transition easier. 

At school, Emma excels at writing and speaking, at debating, mathematics and dramatic arts, while Charlie is excellent in biology, physics, chemistry, philosophy, literature and, like Emma, mathematics. He also starts to take an interest in drawing and poetry. 

She becomes an excellent equestrian, so good that if she were a man, she could have made the Olympic Team by a country mile. She isn’t though, and there are some things even Tommy can’t change, even if it makes his skin itch with anger. 

She is also an absolute heartbreaker, truly. But thankfully for Tommy’s nerves, she is never half as interested in a boy as she is in her horses, at least not until she is in her mid-twenties and falls head over heels

In my mind, independent of this story or any other Charlie becomes a doctor. He doesn’t seem to be all too like his father and I would love to see him pursue a more caring profession. It would also align with the charity work of the Shelby Family Foundation and while during WWII he would see more than his fair share of war, it would be vastly different from Tommy’s. 

By the time war breaks out, he would still be studying. Unlike many of his contemporaries, he would not be sent to France but stay in Birmingham and quickly rise through the ranks. He has nerves of steele and steady hands and is soon in the operating chamber day and night to save the lives of the people of Birmingham that are caught in the bombings

He comes of age during that time, not just legally, but emotionally. He sees things just as bad if not worse than his father has seen in France, has decisions to make that are tricker than his fathers, different, yes, but no less easy. Practise makes perfect and soon he has the duties of doctors far his senior. He has the talent, the cool head and the dedication

During that time, he falls in love with a nurse. She is just as tough as she is and not at all content with keeping her mouth shut. She knows exactly what she is doing and is not shy to stand her ground, against anyone, no matter how rich or powerful or threatening. 

He falls for her when they are in a bomb shelter and she is helping a woman deliver a child - it is the one time Doctor Shelby is close to losing his cool - an operation is one thing, but an unmedicated childbirth in the middle of an airstrike is a whole other thing, but she has nerves of steel and takes charge. 

Within weeks she becomes his closest companion and ally. They pull each other through the war, after which they get engaged, however it would be years before they get married. She goes off and studies medicine in her own right first, and is one of the first women in England to keep her maiden name as a professional name since it would be very confusing to have two “Dr Shelby”s working at the “Shelby Family Hospital”. 

The war causes Tommy’s mental health to turn for the worse; he blames himself for everything that happens, every death, every injury, every ruined building in the city. He has plans of course, for evacuation, for rebuilding, but he doesn’t have the strength to carry them out. Guilt, fear and PTSD renders him incapable of most things, even of engaging with the general public - of being the Tommy Shelby the world, and especially the city knows and respects. 

In this time, it is (Y/N) that holds him together, if so barely. She is the one behind the scenes, caring for him, caring for others, managing his housing project, that turned into a refugee project, but behind the scenes work is not good enough in a situation like this. 

So Emma steps up. 

And how she steps up! Having always been a charismatic, charming girl, she had grown into a confident young woman, adopting a signature red lipstick and matching red ribbon in her hair to keep it out of her face. It looks strange at first, but before long it is the single most recognisable style in the city. 

Many people are sceptical about leaving their city homes for refuge in the country, but the Shelby name, the Peaky Blinder’s reach, Ada Thorne MP’s influence and Emma’s charm is enough to convince most, even if it means she has to go knocking from door to door. 

It isn’t known how many lives they saved, but when the bombs fall on all industrial cities, a large part of Birmingham is already empty, having relocated to all those country mansions Tommy had bought up earlier. 

Those are managed by (Y/N), while Emma becomes pivotal for moral and communication in the city. The Major, the MP, the Home Secretary and the War Minister, they are all well and good, but Miss Emma’s word is more often than not the deciding factor.  This irks some of the old guard in the ministeries and when they send a young officer from an old family, to investigate, and to ensure that everything runs in the proper order of things while removing “that girl” without any official position from influence. The visit goes as bad as possible, and he makes an utter fool of himself, and has to eat his words within an hour of meeting her. Birmingham is a Shelby city, and he quickly learns that Emma’s word holds much more sway than any official piece of paper. 

It is only incidental that he requests leave for a follow up and quickly puts in a recommendation to grant more power and presence to community leaders instead of solely to military officials in this city and others. 

When he asked Emma if she would go dancing with him, she said she would only go if he could beat her in a horse race. In the end, after the war was done, she beat him at an embarrassing scale, and he lost his chance to take her dancing. So she took him instead. 

The war turns Tommy into an old man. There is no other way to put it, and even after it is finally over, recovery is slow, but still he doesn’t want to let go of the reigns of the company completely. 

Charlie was practically running the foundation and the take over was only a formality. He would expand the medical care for impoverished families, healthcare, medical research etc. 

And Emma’s charm, people skills and general knowledge are decisive in shaping the company in a post WWII world. They mainly take on the task of rebuilding infrastructure, mainly housing, in the big cities. Before long, he realises that Emma has what it takes to lead the company with Ada. While he never leaves an advisory position, he keeps handing her more and more control. This happens due to his age, his trust in both of them, his acceptance that the world is changing too fast for even him to keep up and the arrival of his grandchildren, who keep him more than busy enough.

End

I want to thank you for participating in my celebration and for expanding on this. I hope you like this little headcanon.

Taglist

Overall

@lilyrachelcassidy @jyessaminereads @chlorrox @watercolorskyy @books-livre @quarterpastmidnight  @lilyevanswhore  @polishcrazyone  @zablife  @just-a-harmless-patato  @stevie75 @flyingjosephine-blog @runnning-outof-time @babayaga67 @butterfly-skinnylegend @shelbydelrey @mrkdvidal1989 @raincoffeeandfandoms

Tommy

@knowledgefulbutterfly @babayaga67 @signorellisantichrist @lespendy @geeksareunique @look-at-the-soul @lothbrokcore @rangerelik

[zaevauhm]

Barcelona 1/4

this was actually the first thing I ever wrote` + english is not my first language + mentions of anxiety + 2.4k word count

it’s the first part to a 4 chapter story

‘’Do we have everything?’’ Anxiously, you looked up at your friend Layla. ‘’Yes, let’s go, we will be late, babe.’’ She replied, looking back at you from your bed. You could tell she was really trying to get through to you by the way her big blue eyes were staring you down. The two of you were sat in your bedroom, busy packing two small bags.

You were in desperate need of any sort of escape, the stress about more than one thing was really getting to you by now. Uni, work, not to mention your terrible mental health that seemed to even escape the notice of your closest friends. You were an absolute pro at hiding how you were actually feeling; it was getting scary by now. You were always the person that others leaned on, that others came to for help and support. Always the giver, never the taker. Just the fact that you had friends to begin with, was enough for you. Grateful nature is how you justified your actions to yourself.

It was a no brainer that when your mother, who you rarely saw, called for you to visit her and some other family members during a business trip in Barcelona, you didn’t spend much time thinking about it. It meant a drive of approximately 12 hours, and a week of being away. Good timing, you figured.

You made a call to one of your closer friends, asking her to go with you. Of course, as expected, she was beyond excited. You packed for your little getaway in under a couple of hours, and were ready to leave during the early morning hours. The trip would give you two some much needed time together to catch up and you’d be able to do some much needed stress relief.

Liege, Luxembourg, Lyon, Montpellier…

You’d spend a lot of time behind the wheel naturally, as a 2nd year motorsport engineering student, but for some reason this drive was different. You didn't want to slow down, and didn’t necessarily want to arrive quickly either. Your first long stop to eat wasn’t until you arrived at the very south of the somewhat cold country of France. Carefully you parked at a big gas station, letting out a yawn and grabbing your phone from the console to check some notifications, right before your breath got stuck in your throat.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Layla asked you as she noticed you started to look pale in the face.

You opened your work group chat after hours, or better said probably days of leaving it muted. Your eyes immediately fell on the PDF document that was sent by your boss not long ago.

F1 Winter test in Barcelona 23-25 February, 2022. It is February 22nd today.

SHIT

‘’Uhm yes I’m fine, let’s go inside’’ you mumbled.

You ordered for both you and Layla. Somehow managing to speak a well-understandable French. The two of you ate, a pasta that felt like it was going to hurt your stomach later, but you two were never picky when it came to food, especially not during trips. Layla showing you the guy she was talking to this week, you laughed and finished up before you made your way down the stairs of the restaurant, walking back to the gas station.

Your car was filled up, your body stretched a little bit and your energy reloaded enough for the last push of the drive.

Before you got back into the car, you told Layla you’d go back inside the gas station to take an aspirin quickly. ‘’Just in case’’, you said.

Slightly worried, Layla nodded her head at you, while closing the passenger door of your car. She wasn’t stupid either. It was quite obvious something was going on in your head, even though you were laughing with her just a minute ago.

You left to the bathrooms that were located outside the building, opened WhatsApp again to be sure of what you just read. How could you be so stupid? You completely forgot about it. Was it a good or a bad thing, even?

It was only a while ago that you met the person who you’ve been trying to get out of your head ever since. You remember it so vividly, that one night.

You were sat inside of your car with your colleague and friend Alex. The drivers’ door open, looking down at your phone, waiting for the que that you two could go home. Meanwhile a lot of Marshalls were outside the gates of the Zandvoort circuit, waiting for everyone that was working on the track that day to exit safely.

Mechanics exited, team principals, trucks, engineers, marshalls, eventually drivers as well. A lot of men exiting would honk, wink, smile or try to get your attention in any other way. You remember how disgusting it made you feel. It was late, you were tired, most of the fans had already left. The cold Dutch air that kept flowing in your car was the only thing keeping you awake at that point. You saw fans screaming at Lando Norris, Carlos Sainz and Pierre Gasly. Some of them stopped to take pictures with them, you could see just outside the gates. Good for them, you thought.

You honestly didn’t bat an eye, you were never the type to care for famous people, even if they were F1 drivers. Even if your life constantly revolved around racing and working on the tracks. You figured it's nothing more than a nice feature on your student curriculum. Was that really the reason you started working there, though?

Your thoughts were irrupted when Alex smirked and poked your arm with his elbow. ‘’What?’’ You replied dryly, without bothering to look up from your phone, looking at a story Lewis Hamilton had posted hours prior. You were a complete mess when it came to him, you’d never dare to go near him in fear of literally fainting. That’s how big of a crush you had on him, he was your only idol, the only person you were looking up to. It felt like something completely childish to you, and besides, this was real life. Not some fairy-tale where everything would somehow be possible. He was nothing but a far, far away dream.

’’I think someone fancies you’’, he chuckles.

You look up to Alex and notice him looking past you, to your left. You turn, only to directly meet the eyes of Lewis Hamilton. There he was, in the actual flesh. He drove past you, as anyone else, on his way to the exit. The only difference is that he stopped. For a few seconds you exchanged the most electrifying eye contact you’d ever had in your life. He smiled at you, obviously knowing what he was doing.

‘’Get out and talk to him, this is your chance!’’ Alex shouted. You felt like your stomach had just dropped out of your body. You were perplexed, you couldn’t even think straight. Your mind going blank, and the only thing you could do out of shame, is looking away, you couldn’t afford him to see you while you didn’t even know what kind of facial expression to make. From the side of your eye, you noticed his smile disappearing, waiting for a few more seconds before finally driving off, leaving you behind. You never saw him again.

Even though it was an excuse to get some fresh air and think about what you’re going to do in Barcelona, you got some aspirins from the gas station and a bottle of water. Popped two and swallowed them quickly. You figured that remembering that night would eventually give you a headache anyway. You couldn’t quite believe what happened, even though it might have seemed like nothing to anyone else. That was a one in a million, gazillion chance that he would have been able to talk to you. There was no one around, except your colleague.

No cameras, no interviewers, nothing. Before you go all emotional you stop yourself there and man up. You exited the building to walk back to the car, figuring that you would see what to do with the information of you two being in the same place during the same time again once you get there. Knowing your friend all too well, though, you knew that she was just the right person to tell this to. But how? You were honestly ashamed for not being the strong, confident person everyone thought you were when it came to guys, especially in the eyes of your friends.

You lower yourself into the big, black leather seats of your white Mercedes, wanting them to swallow you whole at this point. Layla obviously looked right through your facade. ‘’You know you can tell me anything, right?’’

‘’Yes, I know’’ you replied. ‘’It’s just stupid, you’ll probably think I’m an idiot for even thinking about this’’. You sighed.

‘’I can literally tell something is bothering you, do I need to beat someone up?’’

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. You loved your friends; they would go to the ends of the earth for you. Sometimes you wonder what you did to deserve them, being so introverted in contrast to them.

‘’I think I might be in love with someone who is going to be in Barcelona, just like us’’. You spilled.

Layla looked at you more shocked than you’ve ever seen her before. With wide eyes, she couldn’t help but yell. ‘’YOU?!’’

‘’You’re in WHAT? HOW? WHO? How the hell am I just hearing about this now, you little….’’

‘’Well, obviously, you know, not in actual love, just-’’

‘’Hold on now.’’ Layla stopped you. ‘’Start from the beginning. Details.’’

She had every right to react like that, you were probably the last person to let out these words. You never had many crushes, or even boyfriends, despite all of the attention. The last time you were happily dating someone or being intimate must have been years ago. You usually kept to yourself when it came to these things anyway, but there simply hasn’t been much to tell.

‘’It’s nothing, it’s not going anywhere, it’s impossible…’’ you started, tone directly much lower, stopping when you noticed the crack in your voice. You felt so small all of a sudden, trying to push yourself back more in the seats of your car, as if you could somehow hide. You really didn’t want to admit to these feelings, not even to yourself.

‘’Who is it?’’

‘’Lewis.’’

‘’Lewis Hamilton?’’ Layla replied, looking at you, furrowing her eyebrows.

‘’Yeah.’’ You dragged the word out, making it almost questionable, while looking down at your fingers that were resting on the bottom of your steering wheel.

‘’Why wouldn’t that work?’’ She surprised you. ‘’Have you seen yourself?’’  You knew she wasn’t lying to you, you were undeniably beautiful, if you had to believe others. Always being mistaken for some model or some instagram celebrity, especially at tracks. In all honesty, you could have easily passed for one, anyways. Your mental health and self-image would always be your biggest enemy, because even with the daily compliments you got, even from strangers, you would never see yourself like they do.

‘’Obvious reasons.’’

Everything spilled, you told her about your feelings, especially since Zandvoort last year. Layla was carefully listening to you. Nodding here and there, processing everything in her head. You could tell she was going to come up with some crazy solution that only she could think of, you truly loved her for this.

‘’But he noticed you in Zandvoort?’’

‘’Yeah, I guess. He saw me and stopped before I saw him’’.

‘’My god.’’

‘’Lay, what do you want me to do? DM him and say ‘’hey, I’m that blonde girl you’ve exchanged eye contact with somewhere a year ago, remember me?’’ It would sound ridiculous. He gets attention from girls on the daily, there is no way he would even remember me’’. You let out a deep sigh. ‘’But it’s just... I can’t shake him either.’’

‘’Look, it’s not going to be that hard. You’re going to that winter testing, and you’ll get to see him again. I’m sure of it.’’ Layla firmly spoke. ‘’We should go, I feel like we’ve been sitting here for hours, and you have someone to reunite you with,'' she says while squeezing your cheek softly with her fingers, earning a smile from you.

You noticed from that moment her whole focus shifted to you; she would be super selfless for the rest of the trip. You trusted her, and trusted that whatever was going to happen, it would somehow work out. All you really wanted was to get rid of the knot in your stomach, and the best person to help you achieve that goal was Layla. She is the type of person that doesn’t let anything she wanted slip away from her. A quality you appreciated more than ever before now.

It’s 8 PM, you’re still in the south of France, about 5 hours removed from Barcelona.

The rest of the drive was a complete blur, you were tired both mentally and physically, but the first sign that showed ‘’Barcelona’’ in big letters gave you a little bit of energy, as well as terrible nerves flushing through your body, keeping you awake.

You were happy to finally arrive to the hotel, calling a receptionist to send someone to take your bags, stepping out of the car in the middle of the somewhat warm night. You had missed this, the lit- up palm trees, the smell of the salty sea hitting you like you were tens of thousands of miles away from home.

‘’I’m so happy our hotel is right by the beach, bless the wallets of that family of yours’’ Layla joked at you laughing, as she also got out of the car to the sights of the Arts Hotel.

You giggled back at her. ‘’You’re welcome.’’ You didn’t come from a rich family, but certainly a wealthy one. Whatever you would have, you were more than happy to share with your friends. If you could take them with you, you would.

7 AM

Sunrays started to heat your face, as you turned around trying to desperately fall back into sleep. You felt fussy, drenched from the drive as nerves starting to hit you. You hated these types of mornings when the first thing you would feel was anxiety. Slowly moving your arm around to find your phone somewhere between the sheets, trying not to wake Layla. 7:01 AM. Already? Really? You thought. After closing the curtains when you got up to get some water, you slowly let yourself sink back into the big bed. Luckily, the next time you opened your eyes and check your phone 3 hours had passed, and you felt ready to actually start your day.

[mizoosis]

みんな… おやすみなさい🖤 This is a few days late, but happy second anniversary OMORI! I posted this on Twitter and of course can’t write much, so I'll do the honors here.

TW for talk of mental health, hospitals and self harm. Please move from this post if you are uncomfortable with such topics, for your own sake. Thank you❤

I discovered OMORI in 2014. I saw that little trailer in my recommended as a kid and watched it. I got super inspired by it, but never did much else. 2018 rolled by and I found out about the Kickstarter. I couldn't back it up because y’know, I'm a broke teenager, but I still tried to follow its development until I just lost interest. It's now early 2021. My friends are talking about OMORI and begging me to play or watch it. I eventually caved in and didn't expect anything special. Boy was I wrong. I came into the game completely blind, and experienced everything raw. - The first ending I got was the 'true ending', where Sunny and Basil accept their actions and trauma. I cried so much near the end, especially during the Final Duet (but I'm sure that got most people). I had expected a cheesy rpgmaker horror game but instead I got an experience I will never forget. It's themes stuck with me. I hadn't played a game like it before. A game that accurately represents mental illness, trauma and anxiety. I have been suffering from depression basically since the fourth grade. A lot of bad things happened in my life and I was becoming aware of it. I started to feel down and hopeless, often resorting to sleeping all day, drawing and slipping into my own imagination and disassociating. - I soon realized that this wasn't working, and only felt worse. I'd say around fifth grade was when I started to hurt myself. And I couldn't stop. I slowly fell deeper into my depression as I eventually came to terms with the fact I was a transgender person. The first time I tried ending my life was only a few years ago. That led me to be forced to out myself to my family, which thankfully went well and they pledged to help me transition, which they still do to this day. - Despite being able to transition, I still felt like things were missing. I still felt depressed. I realized that I was suppressing my trauma from years prior to the point of forgetting it. And once I was reminded of it, I spiraled further. That leads to early 2022. I was close to ending my life. I was very close to death. But it failed. I gave up and decided to reach out for help. The day after reaching out I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. I would go to two hospitals in the span of almost six months. Those months were some of the worst of my life. But somehow I grew as a person. And as time went on, I improved despite the challenges I faced while inpatient. My head became clearer. Because not only was I taking medication and therapy, but I thought of Sunny. - Yes it's kind of silly that I was inspired by a fictional character but Sunny's recovery and journey through his mental health and trauma pushed me to keep going. And ironically, I eventually met someone there named Sunny who also liked OMORI. We became really close and I think about them often. They were the only person from that horrible hospital that had a positive effect on me. In August of 2022, I was finally released. Shortly after my discharge my family moved across the country at short notice. I once again became depressed, having to leave my old friends and life behind, but I realized by moving, I can start anew. And that's what I've been doing ever since. I'm the happiest I've ever been and I'm about to turn eighteen in a week as of writing this. I never thought I would live to adulthood. - As cheesy as it is, if I never found OMORI I probably wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have been encouraged to get help sooner. I would most likely already have killed myself or ended up in the hospital for hurting myself. As harsh as that is, it is sort of true. This seemingly silly game about a boy dreaming up adventures with his friends has changed my life completely. I'm grateful for the OMOCAT team for working on this game and putting so much love into it. And I love a majority of the community as well. I have met so many kind and creative people through Discord and Twitter. Why am I opening about this on the internet then? I want to show that things do get better. No matter how old you are, no matter how bad things are either. - I used to think I would never make it anywhere but here I am, I have amazing friends, I'm working on passion projects with others and I draw all the time and enjoy it. My drive has improved because of this game. I don't know what I would have done without it. This game means so much to me and so many other people. I can't believe its been two years since it released already. I'm hoping to continue to love it for more years to come. Thanks so much to OMORI and the fandom that loves it so much.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Does anti-psych include therapy? I was put in a institution and am very opinionated against institutions and etc but I've been finding therapy helpful.

I want to start with the underlying premise here that I think you may be struggling with: all mental health care under our current system is inherently harmful vs all mental health care under our current system is inherently less helpful than it could be because of the individualization and medicalization of it's approach.

Therapy can absolutely be helpful! Likely it would still be helpful under another system of mental health care! But what do we consider to be valid "therapy" and why? What do we exclude from that framework and why? How much more supportive of our clients could we be as therapists if everyone's basic needs were already being met by their community and they were only having to come to us with what therapist's call additive symptoms rather than negative symptoms because negative symptoms like executive dysfunction, fatigue etc, were being accommodated by community services as a baseline?

I see a lot of clients who really wouldn't need to see me at all, or at least could stand to see far less of me, if they had someone who could stop by a few hours a week to handle logistical things lile helping them make phone calls, prepare meals in advance, and tidy. I have other clients who would benefit significantly from just having someone stop by to body double and socialize while THEY perform those tasks. I have clients who don't need support with tasks regularly, but do intermittently with depressive and chronic health episodes. So much of my work with them is undoing shame they should never have been made to feel in the first place for naturally struggling to function at full capacity during a time of stress. And while sure, therapy can help with that, it's reactive. A better world reduces the number of people who grow up feeling that shame by normalizing the reasons for which amd mechanisms by which we are interdependent on one another.

So the short answer is yes, anti-psych does include therapy.

But the long answer is, that absolutely still means there can be value gotten from the systems we have now, especially if you are in need of help now. Something can often be better than nothing, and the field as a whole is always changing, so old ways of thinking and working with clients DO phase out thank goodness. That doesn't mean we stop pushing for better either, even if that means, as mental health care providers, holding ourselves so accountable to the past of our field that we declare its foundations unsalvagable.

I've had good and bad therapy. I've even performed good and bad therapy. Therapy is a tool, and tools can be largely neutral when built correctly. Not all the tools in the therapy toolbox have been. We need to be conscientious of that while we're using it, and work to root out the badly built tools so that future generations don't feel that impact.

[bunniesnuggie]

~ Shampoo Mohawks and Bubble Beards ~

cg!eddie munson x (gn)little!reader

summary: head cannons about how mr munson handles bath time. (for the little ones who love bath time 😊)

♡ bath time is at 7:30 every night, no exceptions

your rules, not his. self care is hard, especially in little space or with mental health problems. and eddie is more than happy to take the responsibility off your shoulders. Hellfire club thinks he’s whipped for having a “curfew”, but eddie loves bath time just as much as, if not more than, you.

♡ sits on the floor right next to the tub

i imagine eddie’s bathroom is pretty small, as well as his shower / tub. but you both make it work, the tub is long enough to fit your whole body while sitting but isn’t very deep. so he fills it up with a mountain of bubbles!!!

♡ NEVER lets you take a bath alone

you fell asleep one time and now he’s scared you’ll drown in the 10 inches of water. you can shower alone in big space. he’ll probably still try to come in though🫣

♡ so so so many toys

rubber duckies, squirt toys, mermaid dolls, fishies, bath crayons, you name it, you got it

♡ so many bubbles ^^

like mountains. one time he let you do them - you were trying to make it like he does…you know those bubble parties, when the room fills up and people dance in a bubble field. yeah. dada is on bubble duty now

♡ does ANYTHING to make you relax if your uncomfy with any part of your body being out

while his ideal situation would be for you to be completely comfortable with yourself, that takes time and healing. so until then he’ll make sure the bubbles are very dense, the water is colored and if you don’t like your chest, bubble bikini 😎 he also makes sure to sing really bad or tell a story while washing your body, to distract you.

♡ will never ever sexualize bath time (or your little space period)

as much as he loves to shower with (big) you, he likes bath time more, he thinks that true love is being able to see each other at your most vulnerable and be able to care for each other. awe🥹 (ie being naked in front of each other and it not be sexual)

♡ shampoo mohawks duh

he buys you the tear free baby shampoo (if your hair can use it, if not imagine teaching him whatever hair care routine you have :) ) as well as the body wash and BOTH nighttime and daytime lotion the pink and purple one from johnson and johnson👀

♡ and bubble beards!!!!

need i say more

♡ has a special towel of your favorite animal with a hood on it for you

imagine him pulling you out of the tub, wrapping you up on it and giving you a big ole bear hug to help dry you off 🥺

♡ calls you his little water bug during bath time

i love water and swimming and bath time so this is for me sorry 🧍🏼‍♀️

♡ always lotions you up

in the morning, at night, whenever you need it. he wants you to be as soft on the outside as you are on the inside. besides he loves to tickle you while he does it, real tickles, raspberries, little pinches. whatever makes you laugh more

♡ after he always puts you in something comfy for regression

his clothes or a onesie, with what ever bottoms you so please and fuzzy socks. he’s got your paci with it’s clip and a sippie prepared. and depending on bedtime, you either stay up a little longer and relax(play calming games, colouring, watching movies) or you get right into bed and get a story or two

A/N :

this literally came out of no where, me and @bootlegmothman420 were talking and it started flowing so here’s another headcanon post 🙃

i promise i’ll work on actual fics soon but now i wanna do bedtime head canons i have two i’m working on so hopefully both will be out sometime this and next week 🧍🏻‍♀️

//tag list//

@bootlegmothman420 @angelbaby-fics

[mr-entj]

Hi Mr. ENTJ, congrats on the new job offer. It's good to hear INTJ and Kobe & Co. are doing well, too.

I'm an ENTJ currently in my fourth year of my Computer Science PhD specializing in Machine Learning/Data Mining, and I know that you know how quickly this field moves. There's loads of advice about how "doctoral programs a marathon, not a sprint" and students need to pace themselves and have work-life balance in order to not burn out. Following these principles, I've made it this far unscathed (in terms of mental health deterioration) and managed to stay in my program.

With luck, an understanding advisor, and low amounts of admin work (emails, meetings-that-could-be-emails, etc.), and good self management, I have been able to work 40 hour workweeks for the most part and stay on track. That being said, I am currently in a period of time where I am increasing to 50 hour workweeks in order to meet a conference deadline at the end of June 2023 (time of writing is mid-late April 2023). As long as I show up to work every day and do my best, I expect this paper will be finished by the time my internship starts. This is fine by me; deadlines need to be met, and I want to continue with my current 5-year PhD trajectory (as opposed to taking longer).

Speaking candidly, I have ADHD and am also Autistic, and maintaining this 40hr/week is critical in preventing the "I wake up in the morning wondering if I've accomplished anything meaningful with my life" feeling that gets in the way of me doing very much at all with my day. I also notice that when I am in the *deep throes* of burnout, my ability to pull back and look at the bigger picture takes a nap and I make myopic, hasty decisions. It's a recipe for bad research.

I've relaxed my "good work-life balance" constraint to simply "do not enter the *deep throes* of burnout". My question is for what lies after this period of time: I will be entering a summer research internship. I am concerned I will not perform well at my internship and will not be able to study as hard for full time interviews as a result of my choices now. Any tips for optimizing this recovery time and post-burnout damage control? Is this an ill-posed question, and there is no way to have my cake and eat it too?

Thanks for your time and consideration, Mr. ENTJ.

You can have your cake and eat it too, you'll just need to endure for the next few months.

Some thoughts on your situation in no particular order:

Get therapy and medication for the ADHD and autism if you haven't already. Mental health issues should never be left untreated especially when you're attempting ambitious and difficult goals. It would be like trying to win a race with a broken leg.

Set strict guardrails to get adequate sleep and nutrition. Don't compromise on either of these two because it'll severely impact performance. During the most intense periods of my life, meal planning worked really well so I could grab and go healthy meals without long prep time. Poor health choices lead to low energy, brain fog, and bad moods. Healthy food/snacks, hydration, vitamins, exercise (even a quick 15 minutes of cardio when my scheduled was packed) made me 10x more effective.

Reach out to the summer internship team and learn more about expectations so you can start planning ahead to manage your time and prepare to hit the ground running. Most summer internships aren't time-consuming and energy draining to the point they'd grind you down to dust. This is because interns require a lot of time to onboard which cuts into the 3-month summer term and they have limited access to information, skills, and experience needed to do more complex work. I wouldn't jump the gun and stress about underperforming without knowing the full scope of your role and responsibilities.

Ensure that you have at least one person from your summer internship who can speak highly of you. In the unlikely event you don't perform well in your internship, you'll still walk away with a solid professional reference to use for future full-time job offers. Pro tip: Companies won't interview every single person at the internship even if you fuck up. As long as they can verify you worked there and you have at least 1 person (more is better) who can speak to your abilities, you'll be fine.

Prioritize full-time job interviews > summer internships if the summer internship has a low chance of conversion to a full-time role. If the opposite is true, reverse that order. If you need to prioritize one of these two, prioritize the one that secures your desired outcome.

Focus on outcomes over input. Focus on the things you achieve, the milestones you reach, and the obstacles you overcome-- not the amount of hours you put in. A few weeks ago I fixed a $5 million problem by clearing up a misunderstanding with a 90-minute conversation. This 90-minute conversation was way more impactful than the 40-50 hours of work I put in the previous week. There's that John Wooden quote: "Don't mistake activity for achievement." Benchmark your progress towards achieving a 'meaningful life' with impact, not input.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

so are you on hiatus or still posting or...? what's the deal w/that

Hey Anon...

I'm not sure if you're just joshing me or being silly, or are being serious or whatever but your ask comes off as rude, especially since I try to have a post every half hour or so from 8 AM EST until noon DAILY (since I discovered those are my peak hours), unless I have no content, which y'all provide me with through asks and suggestions. I have posted fic recs EVERY Friday for over 3 years and curate a fic rec list nearly every Sunday unless I take a break / holiday. My blog tags are specifically designed to show me where in the cycle a post is, and, a lot of the "selling" point to this blog is its interactivity (where I check the replies and additions on every post that reblogs each day and I tack it onto the main post).

Granted, I don't post nearly as much as I used to (because it was affecting my mental health, and I have a day job I work between 40 and 60 hours a week with very little free time, and I'm back at the office so I can't post during work hours anymore) so I had to cut my queue back to auto-post 3 posts a day so I don't run out of posts before month's end. I also prep my blog the night before the next day, so I spend anywhere between 2 and 4 hours NIGHTLY, AFTER my day job, to file, answer asks, and schedule posts so that my blog LOOKS active.

AND if no one sends me asks or asks I'm not ready to answer (bad headspace, too long to reply so I save it for another day, etc), then the queue the next day is, admittedly, smaller and instead is about 1 post an hour up until 3 PM EST. All my new posts from asks get answered and posted between 8 AM and 11 AM, unless I have no content / next-day-reblogs, then I slot other asks into the 11 AM until 2 PM slots. I try not to do that on first posting, though, 'cause as I said, my peak hours are early morning so I'd rather have people see those ones first.

When I'm on hiatus, I pin a post to my blog. My Lovelies and Lurkers™ know when I am on Hiatus and are very understanding and know that I am a human being who needs a break once in awhile. I'm sorry I'm not posting up to your standards, Anon, I truly am, but I just physically can't anymore, since like, 90% of my free time is dedicated to either sorting fics or answering asks. And I don't really have the energy to do it at the rate I was doing it when I was working from home. I rarely take a break from this blog as it is.

Perhaps Tumblr has unfollowed you from my blog, which is why you don't see my posts anymore (it has happened, I've had to re-follow people before), but I can assure you, I have new content DAILY unless I have no asks I'm ready to answer. Some days are less than others, because, again, I am only human, and I have no obligation to provide content daily. I do it because I LOVE doing it. But asks like this make me feel like all my work is for naught. *shrugs*

Less is more, Anon. 💜🖤

[k-dokja]

Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja with 🖤 ❌🌸🤧🥰😱💕💞 please <3

EMOJI MEME | Kim Dokja

🖤 Do they enjoy loving or being loved?

Loving. Yes, there it was said. He doesn't really think much about love, to begin with, it's much more fun to watch others dealing with their love lives. When it comes to his own... he doesn't know. It's difficult to think about a happy future for him. It's even more difficult to think about the possibility of him being loved by someone.

He gets better about it later on, but the idea of being loved by another continues to make him struggle. It means opening up and making him vulnerable if he wants to love them back. Everything was much easier when he was the only one in love. He doesn't know. There are fewer scary things to worry about than this.

❌ Are they scared of being in love?

Yes. Frankly, the idea of being loved scares him a lot. Even back in the days, he doesn't think he'd have any chances for it. Now that he's in a better position mentally... there's still a lot at stake. The peace which came afterwards also unnerves him, he can't use the excuse of focusing on the scenarios anymore.

🌸 How often do they say ‘I love you’?

He's trying! Trying his best and not doing very great... He does want to do it at least once a week, you know, for prosperity. It slips his mind sometimes but whenever he can, he does try to remind you of it. He knows he's away often and it makes you worry, but he really loves you, promise! So if you want to hear it, he will say it!

He means it! He has already been doing everything to ensure everyone is happy, but you take a special place in his heart and he will tell you he loves you a thousand times if needed whenever he went away for too long (exaggerated, he can try but that's going to take a lot of times...)

🤧 How far will they go to take care of their sick s/o?

Has surprisingly decent skills when it comes to taking care of the sick. Mostly because he has been fending for himself since he was young, so he knows how to take care of himself. Albeit, he's a bit more neglectful towards his own health than when it comes to you.

Will make sure you stay in bed and recover fully before anything else. He doesn't want you to strain yourself because everyone else is working. He knows he has the bad habit of overworking, which means it's hypocritical of him to make you rest. But hey, he never said he wasn't a hypocrite.

🥰 How often do they stare lovingly at their s/o?

It often comes in unexpected manners... he doesn't really intend on staring "lovingly" at you. It's simply that he has been trying to work on how to delegate the upcoming plans for the company. He never expects that his mind would begin to space out and thinks about you and his current relationship with you. Not to mention the fact you look really pretty when the light hits you this way and—

Ah, shit. You caught him. You caught him. Abort mission. Abort mission.

😱 What makes them worry about their s/o the most?

Oh, boy. What doesn't worry him? He believes in your ability to take care of yourself. But during battle, he will always take a glance at you before he plunges into the deep end. There's no way he can keep you safe through everything, but he does his best to ensure that you and everyone in the company will get through the trial.

In a way, it's a bit impersonal and clinical of him to view you in a "how can I raise your ability" way, but it's his best method to ensure your safety, especially when he isn't around.

💕 Their future goals in a relationship? How far do they want to take it?

Gah, he has never been in a relationship before. Thinking about the future goals when he has to spend every day figuring out how to survive is... troubling. He doesn't want to ruin a good thing by complicating it, he's fine with how the two of you are... maybe in the future, when everything settles down, he will sit down with you and think about it.

For now, he cherishes what time he has with you. Wanting for more than that is... greedy, it doesn't sit well with him.

💞 How do you win their heart?

Garterbe—That's how one wins his junior, not his heart. It changes depending on whether you met him prior to the apocalypse or during.

Prior to it, he's drawn to someone more on the quiet side, reserved and calm. He just feels more relaxed around introverted people like him. However, it is still a struggle to make him open up then. Maybe if the relationship progresses organically, with you or him somehow discovering the other person's hobby and finding an interest in it.

He likes someone who can talk passionately about their hobbies, it makes him feel less weird about his love for the novel. Probably for the best that you don't judge people too quickly, he's withdrawn in the beginning, not willing to open up at first. However, once he sees that he can be himself around you, he'd slowly talk more, even initiate the conversation.

Ideally, you'd have no ulterior motive with him. He doesn't really open up to people easily, it's even worse when the apocalypse happens. Unless he targets you as a party member specifically, he doesn't really care for people beyond his inner circle. It's his nature to be a little selfish when it comes to the people he cares about, you wouldn't fault him for that.

You'd probably be the one who drew his attention first, something that makes him think "that person would really help in the long run" or "I better keep them close in case anything happened." It delights him to find out that you're not only dependable as a comrade, but also someone who he can talk with easily about everything and anything and doesn't grow bored of.

Either way, whatever relationship happens between the two of you will progress slowly. Your patience would mean the world to him in the long run.

[thewanderingace]

I need advice.

I'm thinking about applying for a job at the museum I used to work at and I don't know if it's a stupid idea or not.

Background info:

It's been over 4 years since I worked there and I left (I was not fired) because of a combination of things. Mostly to finish grad school and being incredibly frustrated over management decisions which made life really hard. I worked at this place for 5 years. I loved the work, the museum atmosphere, and most of my coworkers but management was awful and their decisions made life so hard for us all. I think 5 people left during the same month I did.

I still have a friend who work there that I talk to regularly and they said I'm remembered fondly. When she leaves to hang out with me several people ask about me and want to say hi. I left on good terms with those who still work there. Plus this place rehires all the time so it wouldn't be unusual for me to go back. Heck my friend worked there, left for a few years to work somewhere else, then came back.

The job is essentially the same thing I did when I worked there before. Less cashiering, more walking. I was a sales associate. This is more like a gallery interpreter/security guard. So it's not exactly a great career move but I already know the job and the building so theres no need to train me really and that level of comfort would be super for my anxiety. And it's part time which is what I want (why is it so hard to find part work that isn't retail nowadays!) Even if the pay is garbage (which it will be) it's still better than the nothing I make now.

In the 5 years since I've left I have not gotten another job. 1 year was spent in grad school. Then covid hit and at the same time my brother got really sick (unrelated to covid) and I was his primary caregiver for 2 and a half years. Now all I've been able to get in my field is volunteer positions and my mental health has not been good enough for anything else. Like 2019 and 2020 was very bad and I'm still recovering from everything that happened to me then. Job pickings are also TERRIBLE right now. Especially in my field. I can't even find jobs to apply for let alone apply and get rejected.

So basically do I go back to a job I left that is not considered an upword career move? To a place that was rather difficult at times and I don't know if it'll be any better? I kinda think I've changed and can just go to work, do the job, come home and not give a shit about anything else. I couldn't do that before. I got too invested in the place.

I need to ask my friend who works there what the environment is like. That might help.

I'm basically at the point where I want to make a little money doing something I enjoy that isnt too stressful. That was basically the definition of my job there previously. I'm not as interested I'm a big career as I once was and I can't do full time for reasons. I'm tired. I don't want to work but I want money. I want to not hate my job. I want to work only a few days a week. I don't want to be in charge of anything or anyone. I want to be left alone for most of the day. And I'm really tired of being broke. This job was all of that. I know my mom and my sister (who both worked at this place with me btw. Long story) have told me to stay far away from this place. To not go back. That they'd rather continue to support me while I find something else than let me go back there. But they definitely have bias and negative emotions attached to this place. I do too a bit but not to their extent and they've both been able to find work on their fields (library and medical). My mom especially was treated really badly by management multiple times.

God I don't know what to do! Any advice would be great. Do I apply? Do I keep looking? I don't know what to do!

[longhands-the-second]

Trimax volume 2:

Here’s some thought soup.

Turns out I was actually able to wait to read until this week lol. I’m glad I did. I have a feeling this is only going to get more depressing from here on and I’m gonna need the pacing for my mental health.

So just… everything about Wolfwood here. He’s already better realized than pretty much the entirety of 98, I think (<- biased). I said “what the Fuck” out loud several times during this volume which is always fun. I’m going to do a second read before posting this so I can keep my thoughts in better order.

1- It’s at this point I think that maybe I should check the tws for this manga lol. Did this bother me? Not really. Am I scared of the potential now? Yes. Yes I Am. (I see that damn hand gore warning for a late volume and I am Dreading that shit)

Vash just looks so… soft here? I want to squish his cheeks so bad. It’s the power of Loose Button Down at work. A good weapon to have in your arsenal.

I hate it when you can just. Tell he’s making a promise that the narrative won’t let him keep.

On a reread the end of this volume makes more sense. Are they all…? I hope the fuck not.

2- Legato is really just getting more animalistic. There’s something off about him/his survival instincts but it’s kind of impossible to tell Exactly what it is without reading that far ahead. (Speaking of how uh. Explicit is his backstory? Do I need to make myself a nice cup of tea for after I finish reading that volume???)

I really, really appreciate that the gung-ho guns aren’t as one note as I expected. I have to wonder what got them all here, individually?

I wonder what specifically Vash thinks about Wolfwood here, what he knows and what he doesn’t. Is he like, aware that he saw what happened with the moon? Vash isn’t stupid, so I’m sure the thought crossed his mind that Wolfwood could’ve been working with Knives, but he’s also dead fucking set on seeing the best in people. Stay tuned, I guess.

Calling Vash selfish… there’s something there. He does have a tendency to ignore what people want when it comes to this kind of thing- which, yeah, that’s fair when it comes to killing people, but it’s also kind of not his place. Thinking very hard about the other post i saw this week about the end of the last volume.

Another thought that comes to mind is the way Vash thinks he’d just be letting things happen (therefore had some responsibility) in a lot of situations despite it being entirely on someone else. He refuses to just let it be. It makes sense given what happened to Rem, but I still have. Thoughts. He makes me so fucking sad.

The way Vash just fucking shuts down when they threaten Lina. None of them deserve any of this it makes me feel gross and bad.

3- How did he forget about the arm gun. That shit is the most important thing to remember smh

Where’s that one post that’s like “world where guns exist and swords are useless except in the hands of this one guy”

Literally impossible to follow the action but the punchline lands ig lmao

4- god this hurts. He just wants people to live. He just wants to live.

I think a lot of what this is about is sunk-cost, like somebody else mentioned. Digging your heels in further even if you know you’re wrong. I see in the gung-ho guns, Knives especially, but also definitely Vash. I haven’t fully former my thoughts on Vash yet though, i have to see where he goes from here to really make any judgements

God fucking damn it wolfwood. I know it made sense but MAN.

I love how angry Vash is allowed to get in the manga. He can really be scary sometimes.

People can’t change their minds if they’re dead. I think that’s the easiest way to summarize it.

I love how fucked up they are <3

Vash isn’t naive. He’s smart and he’s got years of experience to back him up. I know this. This is proof of it. But damn sometimes he really is incomprehensible in a way that makes me need the reminder.

GORLS

Hitchhiking on nomansland stresses me out as a concept.

5- wolfwood is really gonna rip my heart out isn’t he

“Vash can’t drive” saga (you’d think he’d be good at it given his other skills. Exposure maybe? I doubt he has frequent access to that kind of thing.)

They’re both fucking exhausted and YET-

I need to start a counter of times when i stop to go “oh vash is so pretty in this panel” but it’d be well over half of these posts

THAT IS NOT ONE OF THOSE PANELS

God he’s just zombie-ing his way through this isn’t he

The fucking limp wristed gun is everything to me

The missile is eepy and neebies to sleeby

6- obsessed with this version of home aesthetically.

Vash really just wants to be left alone. Grumpy old man.

Seriously though im in love with this whole setup. It’s beautiful.

It feels kind of illegal to be here though. Like we’re revisiting something that should be long gone. How much is this like the ship he grew up on?

He goes from the breaking point to being so excited to see everybody he’s crying. This physically fucking hurts to read

7- FUCKIN LEAVE HIM ALONE. GIVE HIM A GOD DAMN BREAK.

Literally this chapter makes me sick to my stomach i hate it i hate it

(Side Note, I have some colorings in the works, but it’s gonna be a WHILE until I get them finished. Very excited to share when I do though, I’ve been absolutely losing my shit about the love the others I’ve done have been getting from y’all. I see ur tags and they make my goddamn day. Thank you.)

((Additional Side Note, I am SO fucking excited to get my hands on the wwvd bracelets I ordered lol. I won’t be able to actually wear them for a few weeks though. I had to send it to my parents address. smh my head, man.))