#(i say with a sister four years and eleven days younger than me)

[thedawningofthehour]

How much time has actually passed since the initial kidnapping? I know its been over a year, maybe a year and a few months? Draxum has all their hatch dates, and last I remember Galois is 15, but Leo is 16 (since they only guessed their hatch dates) and Draxum even tells him so in the latest chapter, it feels…idk it feels like something, but I cant pinpoint it exactly. Something soft with a hint of ridicule, maybe? Or maybe I missed Galois‘ second birthday during all the managing of war and stuff

Donnie's kidnapping took place March 13th, 2019. Currently, we're somewhere in early-mid July of 2020. Leo was going to mention in one of his sections last chapter that Independence Day had passed without fanfare and how weird that felt, to not have fireworks in New York. But then I forgot, because you know how I am. Leo's sixteenth birthday has passed; Gale's has not. But neither of those dates are their actual birthday.

Donnie and Leo hatched on the same day. Considering when spiny softshells hatch this with probably in fall of 2004, (Leo was hatched by a breeder so he didn't necessarily need to hatch when wild sliders usually do) so they are technically still fifteen! But Draxum also doesn't go by their real hatchdate for Gale's birthdate-December would be way too late for a spiny softshell to hatch, and in his fiction Gale never really hatched at all. He got thrown together in a petri dish like an IVF baby. So he didn't need to be 'born' in a certain season; he was entirely on Science Time.

I went back and forth on whether Draxum should acknowledge him as fifteen or sixteen, but ultimately I decided it would be more impactful for him to acknowledge Leo's own agency over the matter and Splinter's judgement over their approximate ages. And anyway, it wasn't like it really mattered. Galois's own birthdate is a month or three after his 'real' one. Not to mention time was sort of of the essence-he didn't have time to argue with Leo over whether he was fifteen or sixteen.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Moves & Countermoves (Part 12)

Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.

Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven

“We have one month, that is all. After that, two of us are back in the arena and we need to be ready.”

This meeting of district twelve’s victors is called to session a bit earlier than Haymitch would like. Not that any of them have been sleeping anyway.

“So you want us to do what, exactly?” Haymitch cocks his head to the side.

“I think we need to train, all of us. Everyday.” Peeta says, pointedly.

Haymitch huffs a laugh.

Y/N squeezes her husband’s shoulder, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.”

“You’re gonna start deadlifting until this kid comes flying out of you?” Haymitch rears back in perturbed amusement.

Y/N shakes her head. “There are things I can still do. Brush up on my skills, learn a new one.”

“I could teach her to shoot,” Katniss offers.

Y/N shrugs, “she could teach me to shoot.”

“And you could teach us how to throw knifes.”

“We’ve all won the games.” Peeta reminds Haymitch in particular. “We can all learn from each other.”

————————————————————————

A couple weeks later they sit down with the kids, unsure how to broach the topic of tonight’s discussion. But the whispers around town are loud, better they hear it from their parents than someone else.

“Do you remember when we talked about the Hunger Games?” Y/N begins.

Everest nods, they talk about it in school too. “If you win, you become a victor.”

“Right,” Y/N leans across the table a bit more.“This year is a Quarter Quell.”

“That means a special games, like Daddy’s.” Arista adds.

“This year…” Haymitch hesitates, “it means that only victors can go.”

“They can’t do that,” Everest interjects.

“But you’re victors.” Arista says, a look of realization dawning over her features.

“Let’s talk through this.” Haymitch attempts to calm his children. “I know you both have a lot of questions.”

“No, they can’t do that. It’s not fair!” Everest’s little hands ball into fists.

“Honey-”

“Are you gonna die?” He cries, angry, hot tears cascading over his cheeks. “Katniss? Peeta? What about our friends? Cashmere, Gloss, Finnick, Mags? Who’s gonna take care of us if you’re both-”

Arista’s breathing picks up and she abandons her seat, crawling into her mother’s lap, though there is not much room. “They can’t make you play with a baby in your belly.”

“Shhh.” Y/N rocks her gently. “I don’t want you to be afraid.”

“So that’s it? We just give up?”

“No,” Y/N locks eyes with her son. “We’re not giving up, we’re gonna fight. Every victor, all of us, to try and stop the games.”

“Maybe you can stop it.” Arista nods, against Y/N’s chest.

“Maybe we can,” Y/N agrees, “but if we can’t, just incase, we need to talk about-”

“Is Aunt Madge gonna take us?”

“That’s the very last resort.” Haymitch admits, “we don’t know whose names they’re gonna call, even then, someone else could volunteer. Ideally, one of us will be able to-”

“So what you’re saying is that after this two weeks we might never see you again?”

“We’re going to do everything we can.” Haymitch promises.

“But it’s possible?” Everest is confused, outraged.

“Yes. It’s possible.”

The days run together, between training and spending as much time with their children as they can. On that last night, the children sleep between them, Y/N on one side and Haymitch on the other, clinging to this moment.

Cruelly, inevitably, the sun rises. Madge is at their door and Y/N comes to answer, while Haymitch and the children ready themselves.

Her sister says not a word, pulling Y/N in for a hug.

“Thank you for coming.” Y/N breathes, smoothing down the younger woman’s hair.

“You don’t need to thank me.” Madge wishes she could do more. “I’ll do my part here and wait for you to come home.”

“They need you, Madge. Now more than ever.”

Madge only holds her tighter. “I love you.”

“I love you so much.”

Peacekeepers are sent to collect them, marching the four victors to the justice building. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen trail closely behind Madge and the Abernathy children, one clasped in each hand.

“Welcome, welcome,” Effie begins her speech, “as we celebrate the seventy-fifth anniversary and third Quarter Quell of the Hunger Games.”

From his place on the stage, Haymitch can see his children. The boy, that squawked like a bird the first time he was placed in Haymitch’s arms, reminding him that the world might not be such a terrible place. The girl, that had him wrapped around her little finger before she could speak and gave him reason to dream. They look to him in fear now. Fear that they will lose their mother, fear that they will lose him.

“As always, ladies first.”

Y/N reaches for Katniss’ hand. There is nothing to hope for, no favorable outcome.

Effie draws the name, clearing her throat before announcing. “Y/N Abernathy.”

Madge lifts Arista into her arms, hushing the little girl as best she can, but she is distraught. Her hiccuping sobs causing the crowd to shift uncomfortably. Prim scoots in to rub her back.

Everest does not move. He does not blink and he does not cry. Forever ingraining this image of his mother in his mind.

Y/N can’t risk a glance at Haymitch. She knows how deeply the knife is buried in his chest, how the guilt will twist it, now and for years to come.

Katniss jerks her back almost forcefully, “no.”

“It’s ok,” Y/N whispers.

“I volunteer.”

“Katniss, please don’t do this.” Y/N pleads, but they are out of time, they are out of good choices.

“I volunteer as tribute.” Katniss announces, with more certainty the second time. Pulling her hand from Y/N’s to stand beside Effie, at the center of the stage.

“Wonderful.” Effie swallows down her sorrow, the show must go on, “and now for the male.”

Y/N’s head is light, spinning as if she might faint. Her lungs burn, perhaps she has stopped breathing.

“Haymitch Abernathy.”

“I volunteer as tribute,” Peeta says, without hesitation.

“I can’t let you do that,” Haymitch stops him, with a hand to his chest.

“You can’t stop me.” Peeta narrows his eyes.

“Peeta-”

“Let go.”

Haymitch has no choice but to obey. Sending their victors back as tributes, erasing all they’ve done.

“Very well,” Effie sniffs, hoping to regain some composure, “the tributes from district twelve; Katniss Everdeen…and Peeta Mellark.”

The entirety of their district raises three fingers in solidarity. They are not alone in this sadness; this defeat. Among the crowd, Y/N finds her mother, who has not been coherent enough to attend a reaping since her own.

She’s never blamed her mother, not for her absence or her addiction, nor the inability to move past Maysilee’s untimely death. Y/N cannot imagine losing her little sister, part of her would die too.

The idea that maybe she could talk to her before she leaves, maybe her mother has some divine words of wisdom or comfort-

Commander Thread takes Katniss by the arm, robbing her and Peeta of the chance to say goodbye. Y/N and Haymitch are carted away shortly after. Straight to the train station.

The ride is silent for a long while; eventually the four of them find each other, dutifully seated in the blue velveteen chairs. Drawn together like magnets, though there are no words.

Haymitch slumps down in his chair, extending his free hand to Y/N.

She takes it, the same way she always has, with a love and understanding that Haymitch is sure he will never deserve. But that is the problem with love; with life, really. So rarely does anyone get what they deserve.

Y/N continues preparing her presentation for the morning, detailing the participating victor’s strengths and weaknesses. Hesitating at each name she knows well.

Cashmere and Gloss, district one…

The train car doors open and Effie joins them, “before we begin, I’ve had a thought.”

“You don’t say.”

Effie gives Haymitch the side eye, pressing on in spite of his remark. “Katniss has her gold mockingjay pin, I have my hair.” The swirling golden updo. “I’m going to get the three of you something gold.”

Y/N finally looks up.

“And why is that?” Haymitch wonders, sipping at his teacup, containing a bit more than leaves.

“A token! Show them we are a team, and they can’t just-”

“Thank you,” Katniss says, taking Effie’s hand.

Peeta’s gaze softens. He’s accepted his fate, the only thing to do now is make sure Katniss is happy, keep her alive.

————————————————————————

No expense is spared for this very special Quarter Quell. A new training center and tribute living quarters are waiting to greet them in the Capitol.

“I want you to forget everything you think you know about the games.” Haymitch cuts through the silence. “Last year was child’s play, this year you’re dealing with all experienced killers.”

“Ok. What does that mean for us?” Peeta asks.

“It means you’re going to need some allies.”

“No.” Katniss shoots him down.

“Do it your own way, but we know these people and if you go it alone their first move will be to hunt you down.”

“Katniss, I know it’s not easy for you to trust them,” Y/N understands how difficult this all must be. “So you’re just gonna have to trust us.”

“Fine, show me.”

Y/N makes for her tablet, dimming the lights as her slideshow is put to the big screen.

“This should be good.” Peeta relaxes farther into the loveseat beside Katniss.

“Cashmere and Gloss. Brother and sister from district one, they won back to back games, Capitol favorites, lots of sponsors.”

“This is your first choice?” Katniss nearly chokes on her own saliva.

“Well,” Y/N swipes to the next screen, “they’re careers so they are extremely lethal. A few other positive attributes would be strength, agility, very intelligent. They offer protection, opportunities for better sponsors-”

“Despite some favoritism and general bias on her part,” Haymitch motions to Y/N, “this a strong choice.”

Katniss nods, she’ll consider it. For Y/N.

“From district three, Wiress and Beetee. Not fighters, but brilliant and…weird, real tech savvy.”

“We chose them because they offer a unique skill set-”

“Yes.” Katniss agrees, surprising even Peeta.

“O-ok,” Y/N moves to the next contender. “This is Finnick, from district four.”

“He won his games at fourteen, youngest ever. Don’t let that fool you, he’s incredibly humble.”

“You’re kidding.” Katniss scoffs.

“Yes, he’s a peacock, a total preener,” Haymitch does not mince words, “but he’s the Capitol darling, they love him here, lots of sponsors.”

“Very skilled in combat, especially in water.”

They carry on like this for some time, through Johanna in seven, Chaff and Seeder in eleven. Leaving Peeta and Katniss much to discuss as they retire for the night.

“You think she’ll come around?” Y/N dares to ask.

“You want me to be honest?” Haymitch tosses wayward hair from his eyes.

“Yes.”

“It’s gonna take a miracle.”

————————————————————————

Watching Haymitch’s games is a necessary evil, giving them some insight into the craftings of a Quarter Quell arena. The landscape is nothing short of paradise. Vibrant colors, beautiful creatures and a feast, complete with candy, weapons, anything a tribute could ask for; right at the cornucopia.

But the food is poison and the wildlife is deadly, in the games nothing is ever as it seems.

Though Haymitch does not fall prey to the gamemarker’s trap, many tributes do. He goes it alone for a while, ending up head to head with a pack of allies. He fights, better than Katniss imagines anyone could without experience; managing to take down two out of three opponents, before the knife is held to his throat.

The girl who spares him looks familiar, in a way that Katniss can’t place, sporting the same gold mockingjay pin she was given at the hob. “We’d live longer with two of us.”

“She looks like Madge.” Peeta voices this before Katniss can.

“She’s my mom’s little sister,” Y/N explains.

And then it all makes sense, or none of it does. Another layer to their mentor’s great ‘love story’ for Katniss and Peeta to attempt dissecting, in a bizarre form of pillow talk.

Haymitch has found the edge of the arena, Maysilee wants to turn back and he doesn’t. “We should say goodbye now. There’s only five of us, don’t want it to come down to the two of us.”

“Ok,” Haymitch lets her go.

Her screams follow not long after, the bubblegum pink birds begin tearing through her throat with razor sharp beaks.

Y/N remains glued to the screen, though the ending never changes and she cannot raise the dead.

In the end, Haymitch puts the force field to good use, leading the last career and her axe to the cliff side. Holding intestines inside his body with one hand, he waits for the weapon to ricochet; burying its blade in her skull.

“That was smart.” Katniss purses her lips.

“Too smart,” Haymitch bites out in warning, “do not attempt it. That move got my family killed.” He leaves without a word.

Y/N doesn’t go after him. Sometimes Haymitch needs to be alone and if she chases him, he won’t run. He’s too good a man and he loves her too much. He would stay, even as every cell in his body yearns to go.

————————————————————————

Haymitch returns, after a bottle or two and a very interesting talk with Plutarch. There is a plan, one to extract the victors from the arena, all they have to do is stay alive until then. He searches the tribute living quarters for Y/N, finding her already asleep in their bed.

He is determined not to wake her, flipping off the forgotten light overhead and changing out of his suit.

She stirs as he draws back the covers. “Haymitch?”

“Shh,” he climbs in behind Y/N to cradle her belly, “sleep.”

“Is everything ok?” She reaches back, stroking his hair.

“Everything is fine.” He finds her hand, kissing at her wrist and fingers, before gently lying it back on the bed.

Y/N nuzzles farther against him, “ok.”

“You know I’m always coming back, right? No matter what.” Their child shifts under his palm.

“I know,” she nods.

“If anything ever happened to you-”

“Haymitch, you don’t need to say it.”

Yes I do. “When I lost my family, I kept going. Out of spite, or insanity, whatever it was that kept me going, I did it. But if you were gone…if our kids were gone; I couldn’t. I need you safe. I need you.”

“You have me.” Y/N breathes, “right here. Just you and me.”

Part 13

Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420 @avocadotoastwithegg @treehouse-mouse @emo-markie @spilled-mi1k @magical-spit @greaser9902 @jessicamellarky @yourebuckingkiddingme @smuha2004 @sendhelplease @ninimackbrews @wittiestrain184 @r1dd1kulus @erenluvr69 @helpimhyperfixating

[pholla-jm]

Stronger Now

lol, I found this deep in my WIP's. IMAGINE: STRONGER NOW ~ SANJI X SIBLING!READER GENRE: ANGST/FLUFF cw: during sabaody archipelago arc. also touches sanji's past. talk of slavery and child abuse. not proof read. first person p.o.v **************

"Everything will be okay... everything will be okay." Is what I say every single time I'm put onto that stage.  However, I knew that nothing would be okay. Whenever I'm put onto the stage, I worry for who is going to buy me next. How the next person is going to treat me... which would be shit. 

I don't regret what I did to receive this type of life. If I had a choice to redo anything it would be to help my younger brother sooner. I haven't seen him almost eleven years, and I hope wherever he is at he is alive and well. 

My younger brother Sanji, one of the sweetest people I know, did not deserve the torment he went through. Especially from our father or any of our siblings. 

The sound of my shoes hitting the ground is the only thing I could hear throughout the stone walls of the castle I currently resided in. I was currently searching for Sanji, wondering what he was doing since I haven't seen him in awhile. 

I suddenly hear a loud crash followed by some crying. I could hear some other voices, four voices to be exact. I didn't need to hear anything more to know what was going on. I quickly followed the voices and soon I was greeted with the sight of Yonji beating Sanji up. 

"Hey!" I shout walking over to the three males and picking all of them up by the back of the collar, "what do you think you're doing?!"  "We caught Sanji cooking again-"  Ichiji starts but I cut him off. "So you beat him up for it? I told you many times-"  "I don't care what you say! Sanji is weak!" 

I raise my eyebrow at his response, irritation and anger filling my veins. No matter how much I want to hit them, I won't. I refuse to hit a kid, no matter how much they deserve it. Instead, I drop all three of them on the ground. Each one landing on their bum with a 'oof'. 

"Go on, get out of here. Next time I catch you hurting Sanji, there will be dire consequences." 

All three of them got up and started to leave, each of them mumbling how one day they would be stronger than me and beat me up. Hah, like that day would ever come. 

"What's going on here?" I hear Judge, or rather father, say.  I look over to see him glowering down at me, and right next to him was my younger sister, Reiju.

I immediately feel Sanji go behind my legs, gripping onto them. I place my hand on the back of his head, comforting him. 

"None of your business." 

One would think that a father wouldn't support his kids hurting each other, but he was the opposite. I hated the fact he didn't claim Sanji on his own just because he considered him weak. 

"It is my business girl."  "It will be your business when you actually start caring for you children."  "I do care for them, not for that one though." 

I scowl at him, disgusted with him. I can't believe half of his DNA is in me. 

"Then it's none of your business. Let's go Sanji." I say turning around and grabbing his hand.  "You won't be able to protect him forever. Once you're married off, you're never allowed in this building." 

I grimace at his words. That's right, he set up a marriage for me. I don't even know the guy, this marriage is just for Judge's convenience. I ignore him and continue to walk with Sanji to my room where I have some medical stuff for him. 

I look down at Sanji, his face set in a frown. Now I could see all the bruises and bumps on him caused from his brothers.  "What's the matter Sanji?" I ask him.  He looks up at me, with tears in his eyes, "you're going to leave me one day." 

"Actually," I say before sitting him down on my counter so I could grab some bandages, "I think you're going to leave before me. But I'll always be with you. Even if I'm physically not here, I'll be here." I say pointing to his heart. 

I start to clean his cuts and put ointments on his bruises. 

He looks at me confused, "how will you be in my heart?"  I laugh at him, "no silly. I won't be in there physically. Metaphorically. No matter where you're at, I'll always love you and I'll be in your memory."  "But I want you to stay with me forever."  I give him a sad smile, knowing that things won't turn out that way, "I know... I know." 

Honestly where I'm at right now is a lot better than being married off to some guy I don't know. If I was married right now, I would probably be tied down with children and never allowed to leave the house. Huh, now actually that I'm thinking about it, both situations are the same. Either way, I ended up a slave. 

I close my eyes, letting the darkness overtake me. I was definitely going to need rest for what was going to happen next. Auctions were so tiring and it drained a lot of energy out of me. 

"Why do you protect him? He's so weak." Reiju asks me while I continue to write in my journal. Besides Sanji, I can tolerate Reiju sometimes. I place down my pencil at her question and close the journal.  "One day he won't be weak. But just because someone is weak, doesn't give someone the right to pick on them. If you are strong, then it is your duty to protect the weak."  Reiju tilts her head, "why?"  "Well wouldn't you want someone to help you if you were weak?"  Reiju hums in thought.  "If we help someone out while they are weak, they in turn will become stronger later. They will help aid other people. That person will never forget the kindness and will return the favor later if needed." 

"Ah," Reiju smiles up at me, "you're so smart (y/n)."  I smile back at her and ruffle her hair, "where's Sanji anyway?"  Her smile immediately goes into a frown making me worry.  "Father put him in the dungeons." 

"What?!" I immediately get up and start to rush around the room, gathering some things.  "What are you doing?" She asks.  "It doesn't matter. It's pass your bedtime though. You should get going to bed."  "But-"  "Now." 

Reiju sighs and leave my room. I continue to stuff things in a bag, including the journal I was previously writing in. Once I leave my room, I go out to grab a lantern knowing that Sanji was scared of the dark. 

I quickly make my way towards where the dungeons at, careful not to be seen by the guards. Once I pass them I can immediately hear the cries of my younger brother. The sounds causing my heart to clench. 

"Father please, I'm sorry. It's so dark down here. Please let me out." I bite my lip to suppress any tears from escaping. I hate this so much. Once I calm down my emotions, I pull out a match and light up the lantern. 

"It is pretty dark down here, huh Sanji?" I ask once I'm able to see him. 

There he was placed behind the bars with a metal helmet on him so I could only see his eyes. He had tears flowing down his face, but once he saw me his tears immediately dried up. 

"(y/n)!"  "Shh!" I say placing a finger on my lips and he nods his head.  Once I'm in front of him, I kneel down in front of him. "I'm so sorry Sanji..." I whisper grabbing onto his hand.  "It's not your fault..." He whispers back clenching onto my hand.  "I'm going to help you, okay? But you have to listen to everything I say." 

He immediately nods his head. I let go of his hand and bring both of my hands up to the helmet that was stuck on him.  "Relax." I tell him as I put my fingers in the helmet, facing away from him. I applied pressure the metal bending in the opposite direction until it broke. The broken pieces clunked on the floor and I could now see Sanji's full face. His eyes were wide as he looked at me. 

"There's that handsome face." I say pinching his cheek causing him to blush and swat my hand away. I laugh at his reaction before standing up, "did I hurt you?" I ask a little worried.  He shook his head, "no... you're so strong." He says with wonder. 

"I bet one day, you'll be stronger than me though. Stand back." I tell him and he listens to my orders. 

I grab two of the metal bars and push against them so there was enough space for Sanji to get through.  "You really think so?" He asks and I nod my head, "I know so." 

"Come here." I say waving him over and he doesn't waste another second to wrap his arms around my waist. His head resting right on my stomach. I place my hands on his back. I really wish I could stay like this forever. I just want to protect my little brother as long as I could, which is why I have to do this. 

"Let's go Sanji."  "Where are we going?" He asks, but I don't answer him.  

I walk over to one of the walls, punching the cobble wall. The stones fall easily to the ground causing a sliver of daylight to sneak into the room. The sun was rising, which meant the ship should be here soon. 

"(y/n), where are we going?" He asks as I drag him across the ship. There was already an island that I could see. A island that father was attacking. There was bound to be another ship nearby where I could get him to safety.  "Stop asking questions." 

I didn't hear anything else from him. 

It took a while for the fighting to stop, but neither of us were spotted which was good. I saw a ship from a far. 

"There," I say pointing to the ship, "go on there okay? There are wonderful people on there that will take care of you."  "Huh?" Sanji looks at me confused, "what's going on?"  "I know you want to be a cook Sanji. You have a gift and if you stay here, you won't be able to fulfill your dreams."  "B-but"  "You want to find the All Blue, don't you?"  His eyes widen at my words and tears start to well up in his eyes.  "Come with me." He says but I shake my head.  "I can't. Just go, Sanji!" 

Tears now fell down his face and loud sobs escaped his lips.  I put my bag over his shoulder and turn him back around the ship, "the sea is a big place. You're going to meet some people that love you more than your family ever did. So stop crying and just go!" I push him towards the ship trying to stop the tears running down my face. 

Sanji must of realized that I was right and continued to run towards the ship while crying. Hearing his cries only made my cries worse. 

"Stay safe, Sanji." 

After that, the rest was history. Once Judge found out what I did and the damage I caused, he immediately disowned me. He realized that he couldn't marry me off since I wasn't technically a Vinsmoke anymore. That combined with the fact he couldn't look at me any more, he sold me off to be a slave. I don't regret what happened though. I would happily do it again. The look of anger on his face was very pleasing to me. 

"Hey, get up. You're up next." Someone shook me and pushed me towards the stage. 

Well here we go.

I was pushed onto the stage where the announcer immediately started bidding for a price for me. It didn't take long with a bid of 3,000,000 bellis. I was so used to this that I didn't hear the small commotion that was going on in the crowd. 

Right after me was a mermaid, which I knew she was going to be placed for a high amount. I was right, of course, with 500,000,000 bellis. She was about to be pushed off the stage until there was a loud crash. Two men burst into the building, one of them punching a celestial dragon and punching another person. Soon a commotion erupted throughout the room causing everyone to run and destruction to follow.

What the hell is going on? 

"(y/n)!" I heard someone shout my name and I was soon grabbed.  I let out a small scream from shock and closed my eyes. I didn't know who was grabbing me, but I didn't fight back just in case it was one of the buyers.  "(Y/n)?! Is that you? Please look at me!" 

The voice was familiar causing me to slowly open my eyes and look up at the person who was holding my arm. I squint my eyes at the guy. The blonde hair covering one eye, and a swirly eyebrow. It couldn't be.... 

"Sanji?" 

A large smile is now placed on his face and his arms wrap around me, spinning me around.  "What are you doing here? How did you end up like this?" He asks me as soon as he places me down.  "That doesn't matter. What matters is that you're safe! I'm so happy to know that you didn't die out there." I smile at him. 

I was a bit confused to why he was frowning at me. 

"(y/n)," He says.  "What is it?"  "I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm a lot stronger now. You don't have to hide things from me." 

The smile falters from my face, "oh." 

That's right. He is grown now.  Sanji sighs, "just because I'm older and stronger now doesn't mean I still don't need you." 

"Once my crewmates find the keys, I'll get you out of this." He says pointing at the collar around my neck.  "Thanks." I say pulling wrists outwards so the chains could break. I do the same thing with the chains wrapped around my ankles. 

"So, you're on a crew now?"  "Yeah... we have a lot of catching up to do." He says patting my head, just like I used to do when he was a kid. 

"From now on, I'll protect you." 

[cevans-is-classic]

A The Last Of Us Fic

One Day More

Part One - Part Two

18+ only please — spoilers, language, weapons, sexual content, mental illness, death — mature themes

My masterlist

(Once more - master list 2 is a work in progress)

The morning after wasn’t awkward in the way you’d feared. Joel still grunted most of his replies and the downward tug of his lips still held tight but now he would turn his head to you at random moments and smile or nudge Ellie with his elbow until she rattled off horrible puns and jokes she’d thought of.

Conversations spread between the three of you in intervals as you walked. Ellie revealed she’d never ridden a bike before, which led to the story of the scar over your eyebrow. (The one still intact) Joel talked about wrecking a bike when he was a kid by trying to ride it off the roof. 

Everything flowed to the surface, tidbits of information about the world before — Ellie sucking up everything you said with a soft smile and lingering questions. The closer you got the harder it was to keep going. 

“What about music?” The teenager stopped in the middle of the road. “Joel can play guitar, or he says he can. What about you?” 

“I was trying to learn to play the ukulele, but school got in the way. My brother could play almost any instrument you put in front of him.” 

Ellie stopped walking and Joel turned towards you. “You have a brother?”

“Uh,” It’s not like it was a secret. It’d been so long since you’d talked to them even before the outbreak and now - you hoped they survived, “Two actually and three sisters.” 

“Cool.” Ellie bounced on her feet. “Were you close? Joel has a brother — Tommy.” 

Ah, that’s who Tommy was. 

Joel stared at the teenager with a pointed look, Ellie rolling her eyes at him before gesturing towards you. “What’s wrong with saying that? It’s not like aliens are going to come down and snatch him up. Although, that’d be pretty cool.” 

Joel shook his head. “Learn some tact, kid.”

She flipped him off, then focused on you again. 

You shrugged. “I have two younger siblings, brother and sister. One of my sisters was five years older than me and my eldest sister and brother were about ten and eleven years older. Ah, I was close to my oldest sister — I lived with her while I was going to school. She didn’t have kids of her own, but her husband did.” 

Joel tilted his head. “How many?”

You had to think, “Two, but my older brother and middle sister had three kids a piece. Although, I never met the last four. They weren’t my biggest fans when I came out as Bi.” 

“Damn.” Ellie shook her head. “What about the youngest?”

That made you pause — words stuck in your throat as you remembered their watery eyes and forced goodbyes. 

“State took them in my junior year of high school. Uh, some stuff went down and the state took them from my mom. She died a few months later and wasn’t able to look for them after the adoptions went through. They were both eight.” 

Silence.

“Your sister didn’t make it?” 

You shook your head. “She was out of the country on vacation when everything went down. I like to think they all made it, if they didn’t, I hoped they felt no pain.”

Joel fell in step with you and leaned until his arm touched yours, his fingers grazing your knuckles until you grabbed his hand and held it. 

Ellie looked at you both, then nodded, “Never knew my mom.” 

“I had a daughter.” 

The confessions all hung there, waiting for someone to reach out and touch. It’d been almost four months, and this felt like the closest you’d ever been. A hurt buried itself deep in your chest. 

These two strangers had felt like family — to feel safe. 

“I met Dana in college,” The necklace of ashes felt heavy against your chest, “I was pre-med and she was a liberal arts major.” You chuckled, remembering the look on her face when you introduced yourself, focus and all. 

“Looking at us you would have thought it’d be the other way around, but Dana wanted to be a literature professor, it was incredible what she could keep, the stories she could tell,” another soft laugh, “I almost considered changing my major to mass communications a few times. The biggest thing we had in common was movies and we’d joke about making one together. She had a twin brother and both of them had hemophilia — Davis didn’t make it past the first week — it was difficult to keep going without DDVAP but we made do until we got to the California QZ.” A shudder went through you. 

“About three years ago they said finding the medicine was near impossible. I believed it until a firefly proved them wrong. Then I got angry — I’d been paying extra for it. Working as many jobs as I could, all hours, going from door to door to assist at home patients and, of course-” You looked at Joel and paused, “She knew what would happen if she kept going without it.” 

Your stomach sank. “She waited until I was doing a setup and — she just — yeah. When they burned the bodies, I asked for some ashes to keep. It might not all be hers, but it’s something. After that — after that I needed to leave. To get her home.” 

Joel’s hand squeezed yours. 

Ellie nodded her lips twitching before she turned around and started walking, “Welcome to team tragic backstories.” 

Joel scoffed.

-

You’d expected both of them to leave when you passed the town sign. Waited for Joel to hand you your bag to wave goodbye and keep going. The further you got into town the harder it became to let go of his hand or look away from Ellie.

When you passed the courthouse, Ellie stared at the boarded up building.

“Booming town.” 

You clenched Dana’s ashes. “It was a dead town before the outbreak. I went home with Dana every spring. This place wasn’t much, but it felt closer to home than anywhere else I’d been. To be honest though,” You stared down the road following the path of boarded windows and rusting cars, “It still looks the same.” 

“Yeah,” The teenager ran towards a firewood sign, “Hey Joel,” She grinned. 

“Don’t say it.” 

“Got wood?” 

He groaned, his hand rubbing over his face. Your own still entwined with his despite the chilled sweat between your palms. 

“Ellie,” You nodded your chin towards another sign and she spun on her heels. 

“Ha! Yes!” This sign had been there for as long as you could remember. Dana once showed pictures of her standing in front of it with a cheek splitting grin. 

Joel kept on groaning. 

It was an advertisement sign with an arrow pointed to the right, the letters faded, yellow spots between the lines and all the bulbs busted. 

“What does it even mean?” 

“A diner I think.”

When you got up with Ellie, she was grinning at it. “Hey Joel?” 

He didn’t reply.

“Hey Joel.” She needled him and Joel sighed long and loud, eyes closing, chest rising and falling before he opened them again and looked at her dead on.

“What?” 

“Want to put your meat in their oven?” 

The noise he made had you doubled over in laughter, pulling your hand free from his to wipe at your eyes. Ellie looked proud, her eyebrows wiggling, grin the brightest you’d ever seen it and not even Joel dose cold water on this moment. 

Come on in and put your meat in our oven here at Beavers All You Can Eat. 

“They did that on purpose.”

“Well yeah,” Ellie clapped, “Had to draw such a lovely crowd somehow.”

She spun around, arms outstretched, her jacket tied around her waist, and it was mesmerizing to see Ellie with a calm to her. For a moment you swore you saw the girl Joel said she was before, the one who asked a million questions and jumped from thing to thing as they kept moving. 

She’s fifteen. 

God, she was a child in this bullshit of a world and it was amazing. 

Both of them were. 

You could stand the thought of staying behind as they kept going, of never hearing another pun or watching Joel teach Ellie how to hunt. 

A choking feeling seized your throat. 

This was it. 

You’d put Dana in with her grandfather and you’d head back to California, or maybe stay here, live in a place that feels like home for a little longer until it all ends. 

It will end. When Joel and Ellie leave — when you’re on your own again — it’ll end. 

You couldn’t say a word as you led them towards the cemetery, your feet dragging, legs growing heavy the closer you got. Ellie and Joel are trading jokes back and forth, a revitalization that struck a chord in your heart. At least they’d be okay. They were before you and they will be after you, something that you knew with an unwavering truth. 

Joel would do anything for Ellie and Ellie would do anything for Joel, and the beauty of it made your eyes burn.

Two people who saved each other. 

You hoped they’d make it wherever they were going. You hoped it was somewhere safe, somewhere Joel could sit down and Ellie could be a kid. It could be a place with families, a homestead with teenagers Ellie could befriend and a job Joel could do that didn’t involve blood on his hands. 

Maybe Ellie could watch 80s movies and listen to songs she’d hate while Joel strummed a guitar and told stories about his daughter. His brother could join them, they’d be free, this world would be a little brighter because of the smiles they’d created. Happiness.

The cemetery gates were open, looming closer as you walked, and the squeeze of your chest made it impossible to breathe. 

You’re going to lose them. 

Fuck, you’re going to lose them. 

You couldn’t do this. 

You couldn’t.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, shh, it’s okay.” You were hyperventilating, heart pounding in your chest, lung seizing as your brain repeated that they were leaving you. That this was it. Again and again. 

Joel was blurry, his face coming in and out of focus. His hands were cupping your cheeks and, oh, you were on the ground. The gravel dug into your knees through your jeans, an ache where it digs into your kneecap.

Joel was shushing you. 

His thumbs brushing beneath your eyes, wiping away tears as he breathed, your own breath trying to sync with his. To your left you felt Ellie’s hand touching your shoulder, her palm a warm pressure that anchored you as the panic washed over you. 

“Hey,” Joel’s voice dragged you back to the surface, the brown of his eyes centering you, Ellie’s hand held on tight, her knee pushed into your thigh, “You’re okay. You’re okay.” 

“Please don’t leave me.” You cried, your chest caving in, heart plunging to your feet as body shaking sobs wrecked you from head to toe. 

“Please,” You cover your mouth, trying to shove the words back in, but they fall out with a gasp, “Don’t leave me. Please.” 

Joel’s arms are around you, lips pressed against your temple and the weight of Ellie clinging to your back keeps you from curling in on yourself.

Joel should have shot you, left you on that porch — bled out — that’d be less painful than the thought of them leaving, of them being okay somewhere else without you. 

“Shhh.” Joel murmured in your ear. “Not going anywhere. I got you. We got you.” 

-

He’d helped walk you into the cemetery, your head resting on his shoulder, his arm around your waist. Your stare looked a thousand yards away, mouth pressed into a thin line, your right hand holding onto Ellie’s. 

It’d taken a bit for you to guide them towards Dana’s grandfather. They passed names and dates that stretched back hundreds of years but never past two thousand and three and didn’t hurt. That he could look at this place of rest and see decades of families who lost each other along the way. 

Cremation was necessary now.

One headstone had a lamb on it with a blue bow around its neck. 

         Caleb Allen Malcolm. 

        Oct. 23rd to Nov 24th. 

     On the wings of an angel.

His stomach turned. 

He held you tighter. 

“There.” You clutched the vial of ashes in your left hand, Ellie guiding you towards the grave you were pointing while Joel moved behind you. 

The headstone had an inscription of faith under the name and years of the man buried beneath the earth. Your fingers lingered over the dash between the birth date and death date, before digging in your jacket for a knife. 

“When she was little, her grandfather would take her and Davis to Helena every other weekend. They’d get ice cream, go shopping, he’d buy them anything they wanted, then bring them back home and tuck them both into bed with a goodnight story. When I first visited, her Mom had been gone since she was born and her Dad — he might as well have been gone. Her grandfather thought — he didn’t even hesitate before he ushered us into his car and drove right to Helena. I’d never known a man more kind and sweet to those around him.” 

Joel helped you dig a hole, pulling dirt away, going deep enough that the vial wouldn’t come back up in the next storm. 

Your fingers trembled as you held it out. “I wish I could have gotten Davis back here, too. I’m sorry, Dana, I really am.”

You sat the vial down, pushing it into the dirt. Joel watched you pause, your fingers hovering over it as tears fell down your cheeks. 

“Bye Dana.” Ellie whispered. 

“Bye Dana.” He mumbled. 

You let out a shuddering laugh. “Bye Dana.”

-

They walked for a while after that. 

Joel monitored you, watched the way you’d looked down at your feet then back up at the sky. He’d imagined what you looked like before the outbreak, before the scarring, before everything and knew you were amazing either way. 

There was a calm to you now.

“Please don’t leave me.”

A hot flash of guilt stabbed through his stomach, burned his blood down his arm and into his chest until he reached out to pull you into his arm and held you there. You didn’t move. Didn’t twitch, just let him press you to his chest and kiss the top of your head until that feeling dissolved. 

Ellie had stopped and watched the two of you — that look on her face meant he was going to do some explaining, but the kid can wait. She didn’t seem to mind anyway if the nod of her head meant anything. 

She walked a few feet ahead of them and tipped her head towards the sky. 

Joel tilted your chin up to look at him. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” 

Your eye was red rimmed, he brushed his thumb over your cheek."I gotta ask you a question?" 

“Yeah?” 

He nodded, “We’re headed back to Wyoming, uh, we got somewhere we need to get to and I- well, uh, we-”

You kissed him. 

He kissed you back. 

“Wherever you two are going,” You whispered against his lips, “Is where I’m going.”

Joel kissed you again, deeper, holding you closer and swallowing the noise you made when his tongue swiped over your bottom lip. 

When he pulled back to see you flushing, he grinned. “Yeah?” 

You went in for another kiss, a smile turning up your mouth, hands sliding into Joel’s hair and he couldn’t think of anything better than knowing he’d have more of this - that you’d be with them. 

That-

“JOEL!” 

Both of you jumped apart and turned to Ellie. She’d started back towards the two of you in a rush, “Joel, someone-”

He heard shouting. 

“Shit. Shit, okay, Ellie-” 

“I know.” She weaved around him, reaching for your hand and dragging you along with her while Joel swung the rifle around to aim. 

“Joel!” 

“Go! I’ll follow.”

You stared at him for a beat and looked over his shoulder; three men stepping out from the tree line.

Joel aimed the gun their way. “Go.” One man aimed their own gun at him and grinned. 

“Go. Now. I’ll catch up.” 

One of the men shouted and Joel pulled the trigger waited until the man dropped and the other two turned to look at him then took off after you and Ellie. 

The men shouted, voices loud, echoing off the trees and houses as the three of you ran between buildings, a few rounds going off. Joel grabbed Ellie’s arm and tugged her behind a fence, monitoring you as you turned the corner and pointed at a van across the way.

Another shot, more shouting, one man cussing and Joel pushed Ellie until you and her were taking off for the van. 

He looked around the fence to see the men looking left and right. 

“Look man,” one of them had a flannel shirt on, his hair pulled back in a greasy bun, “We just want to talk. Saw two ladies with you,” The other one cackled and Flannel shirt grinned, “Figured we’d get to know each other, yeah?”

When they stepped closer, Joel aimed. The shot missed, hitting the porch railing beside him. Both men ducked before growling and stomping towards the fence as Joel took off to lead them away from you and Ellie. 

The men followed him, shouting, cursing, rounds being fired as he dodged a dog house and narrowly missed a lawn mower. Risking a chance to look back at where you and Ellie’s been, he could see the two of you running towards the trees and sighed. 

Ellie was smart. She’d know when to hide and you had a gun. If anything, you could keep them away from you long enough for Joel to make his way back. 

“Hey, man!” One of them shouted, “I don’t want to alarm you or nothing, but we ain’t the only ones looking for some.” 

His blood ran cold. 

-

Never in your whole life did you think you’d be doing cardio to this degree. 

The last time you went jogging before the outbreak had been a misguided attempt at exercising with your sister. You nearly died (dramatically) and the word sweat didn’t cover how you felt, but this? This was something else. 

Ellie stuck by your side, her hand clasped with yours, eyes darting left and right as she mumbled about bad timing and Joel not giving her a gun. 

It made you laugh, which made Ellie, which made the mad dash the two of you were doing look unhinged. Neither of you had a set direction of where you were running., Ellie was trying to get you deeper into the trees while you were trying to stay closer to the road; you go too far in it’d be harder for Joel to find you — of course — those other men could find you as well. 

There was another round of fire in the distance, birds scattering from trees, a lone cat darting from the left of you, and both you and Ellie followed its path into the trees. The ground littered with fallen limbs, scattered rocks, one tree laid prone, blocking the path which Ellie dodged, your feet narrowly sliding from beneath you as you turned to follow her. 

There wasn’t much of a plan coming together in your head — instead a flash of a thought tumbled forward and had you reaching out to grab Ellie’s arm to pull her to a stop. 

She aimed a wild look at you. “What-” 

“Listen.” She fell silent. 

There was shouting, a few stray shots followed by cussing and what sounded like Joel calling someone a very creative word you’d rather not repeat. Even though the look on Ellie’s face told you she heard it, anyway. Above all, you realized Joel was leading the men further away from you, the shouting growing fainter. 

“He’s leading them away.” 

“Will he be able to find his way back to us?”

“Ellie-” 

“Yeah, it’s Joel, of course he will.”

You nodded, looking around you, hoping another idea will topple forwards and guide you where you needed to be. This kind of planning had never been your forte, you never even played shooting games or gone paint balling with friends. In your mind you’d spent most of your life already trying to survive. Why spend your free time doing it as well? 

One game of Risk and you would have some idea of what you were doing. 

Your eyes caught sight of a shed, further in the distance — if you made it there though whenever Joel could double back it’d be easier for him to find you. If you made it inside, you and Ellie could duck down, wait until the firing stops–

“Lookie here.” 

You froze. 

Two men walked towards you, one holding a bat and the other a red gasoline jug. It banged against his leg as he walked and the bat swung back and forth. Both of them had long, curling smirks that made your blood run cold. Ellie gripped your arm, nails digging in, her hands trembling as you moved her behind you. 

“Ellie-” You whisper.

“Yeah?” You were walking the two of you back, keeping your eyes on the two men, making careful steps to avoid tripping or losing hold of Ellie. 

One of them whistled.

“I have a gun in my bag.” The one with the bat moved closer, his eyes following you back and forth. 

“Aren’t you a pretty one?” He sneered, “Bet the little bitch behind you could be good for something, too.” Bat guy made a kissing face, the other snickering at the act while swinging the jug on his shoulders. 

Ellie was cursing, “I can’t find it.” 

“Its inside the-” 

“Now, now, you two telling secrets?” Bat Guy jumped towards you, hands reaching out to grab and you swung around, your bag sliding down your arm to knock into him. He stumbled sideways, knocking into the man beside him and tumbling them both to the ground. 

His hand caught your ankle as you took off. You kicked at it, kicking harder when he shouted and let go. 

He reached out again when you got up but missed, your knees protesting at the harsh way you took off running, Ellie ahead of you, avoiding trees while she threw a wary look over her shoulder. When she saw you coming towards her, a grateful shout echoed off the trees. Ellie slowed enough for you to catch up.

“Your knife!” She faltered for a beat, realization hitting her when you mimed stabbing. 

She had the blade in her hand and spun with it as the bat guy knocked into you, you shoved at him, scratching, kicking, your nails dug into his eye and he screamed, blood splattered your face — you pushed again and he budged. 

Ellie was standing over the gasoline guy, her knife limp in her hand, the man a bloody mess lying in the dirt. 

“Ellie!” she turned her face falling as she ran towards you. 

You ran towards her shouting for her to turn back around, you’d reached for her hand and something hard knocked into your back, a chill ran down your spine and you dropped, rolling sideways and over a dip that rolled you down a hill, the man tumbling after you, his feet skirting the ground in muddy streaks.

You reached out to stop yourself clawing at the dirt until you caught hold and pushed yourself up. Ellie was screaming for you, shrieking your name. The rumble of her running pulled you away from the man in front of you to dart back towards her and -

Your foot slipped, a red hot pain went through your stomach and you fell. 

“NO!” Ellie screamed

- 

She couldn’t stop the bleeding and you kept pushing her hands away. Why are you pushing her away?

“Stop!” There was shouting, gunfire and a dash of running and Ellie forgot how to breathe.

“Ellie-” 

“NO! Come on, Joel is coming. He’s coming. Joel!”

You pushed at her hands again and Ellie looked up, saw the blood trickling from your mouth and shouted louder, screaming until her throat felt raw and holding her hand over the blood. Your hand touched her cheek, fingers tipping her to look down. 

A smile, eyes soft, and Ellie couldn’t feel her limbs. Her ear ringing at the sight of blood, the gash above your eyebrow and the shine of your tearing eyes, “Hey, it’s okay. Ellie, it’s okay, but I need you to run, sweetie.” 

“I’m not leaving you.” She choked, your face going blurry with tears, “Joel is coming. He’s coming and we can get you out.” 

Your head tilted back, a gurgled cough splatter into the air and you cried out loud, your hand reaching down for Ellie’s and slipping through the blood to grab her wrists. 

“Ellie,” Blood spilled between her fingers, “I need you to go.”

“No. No, no I’m not — hell no.” 

“Ellie!” Joel’s voice grew closer, echoing through the woods, bouncing off trees and rocks. 

“-hell no. I’m not doing it. JOEL!” 

Your hand squeezed tighter. “I can’t move, Ellie, you can’t drag me out of here. You need to go.” 

Shuffling moved closer, a shout and a stumble before steady foot falls and Joel knelt at her side and folding his hands over hers.

“Ellie, grab the bag!” 

She couldn’t move, her hands held in place, feeling yours squeeze them once, twice — Joel shouted again.

“Let me get you up. I can pack the wound and we can make it back to the houses.” He pulled Ellie’s hands away, shuffling until she moved out of the way. His hands went to your face, down your neck to hover over your shoulders. 

“Ellie, grab the bag-” 

“Stop.” Joel froze and Ellie curled back to you, your eyes looking up, smiling at Joel as he curls closer to you, “Thank you.” 

“No.” 

Ellie choked on a sob, her eyes burning, her throat aching from holding back screams, “You’re welcome.” 

Joel kept muttering, hands moving over you, up your face and back down, his mouth working until you grabbed his hands, holding them to your lips, and smiled. “Be safe on your way to Wyoming.” 

Your head dropped.

-

He ran down the street, stumbled over bodies, slamming into invisible objects. 

Ellie had gone still, her cheeks streaked with tears, her eyes locked on the blood on her hands.

The rush of liquid behind him made his lungs seize, panic rising over him. 

HIs hands came away covered in your blood, the cold mud seeping into the knees of his jeans. You were still. 

“Joel.” That was Ellie was running ahead with wide eyes.

He didn’t know what to do. His mind had frozen, stuck in this moment. You should have had more time. 

“Joel.” Tess dabbing his cheek and shaking her head. 

He helped Ellie up, checking her over, looking at her ankle, then pulled her into his arms, feeling her body shake.

“Joel.” Tommy called him in the middle of the night, remorse in his voice.

The walk through town felt long. Their steps slowed down the further they got, and he counted the miles, wanting to get further away. 

“Daddy.” Sarah going still in his arms

Ellie had gone dead quiet beside him, that far-off look guiding her forward, and he swallowed down the anger in his throat. 

The rush of liquid dampened His skin, and he tasted the copper tang of blood. It filled his mouth, clogged his nose; drowning him. 

He stopped them at the sound of something running, crouching down, sliding her behind him - 

A deer ran out in front of them.

Alright, that wraps up my first The Last Of Us Fic.

I am working on my masterlists.

As before, I hope you all enjoy this!

[pictureofdoriaaaaaangay]

chaotic book ramble so I can stop spiraling into the abyss: my childhood favorite books that I've been thinking about lately

I start college in four days, where I'll be pursuing an English degree. I've been both a reader and by extension a writer my whole life. lately, I've been thinking about the books I loved when I was younger that fueled this passion and thus helped me along to where I am now <3

The Land of Stories series by Chris Colfer. I still have my old copies of these books, and when I tell you they are well-loved, I mean they are well-loved. they're sort of fairytale retellings, and take place in the Land of Stories, which exists as a parallels world to this one where fairytale characters are real and living beyond their happily ever afters. the books follow twins Alex and Connor, who find out (spoiler?? lol) that their grandmother is the fairy godmother. all sorts of stuff goes down, and honestly I only remember half of it like a fever dream, but I remember really loving it in book five (?) when they get to meet the characters from stories Connor wrote. honestly, I probably read the entire series over fifty times, and that's not an exaggeration. first read them the year the third book came out, when I was nine. waiting for the rest was, I recall, absolute torture.

the Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi. this is so funny to me, because these books basically set me up for my later teen years and loving the Folk of the Air series by Holly Black - but I digress. I first read these at age eight in a high-stress time of my life, and as a result they were likely deeply formative. they follow twins Jared and Simon (more twins ??) and their older sister Mallory (thinking back, she was absolutely part of my bi awakening). they move with their mother into the old Spiderwick mansion, and soon discover a fieldguide all about faeries and different fae species that live in the woods surrounding the house. I honestly think that the plot of these books is batshit, but I still sort of love them. there's a movie, but it's terrible, and aggressively condenses the plot into something completely unrecognizable.

Harry Potter, by... Harry Potter. isn't it great that, after his time at Hogwarts, he decided to write a seven-book autobiography?? so funky of him!! anyways - I read these at the ripe age of ten, and stuck by loving them since. HP was my first fandom, and maybe the one I'm fondest of (actually, thinking on this, no), and Hogwarts in general holds a lot of nostalgia for me. this being said, I still love the books, but I have to say that I reread them last year for the first time since I was maybe 14/15 and um. wow. Mr. Potter you are?? problematic??? someone please tell me why the adult man who was allowed to abuse children in a position of power for sixteen years got a redemption arc but the literal CHILD who was born into an abusive and power-hungry family didn't. also why is Dumbedore hailed as such a bloody saint?? he's worse than fucking Voldemort. I said what I said. also it's super confusing that Harry never mentioned in his autobiography that his Sirius and Remus were happily married and living at Grimmauld place. weird storytelling choice I guess!!

all those damned Warrior cats books by Erin Hunter. I swear to god these books had crack in them I ATE THEM UP from the ages of like. eight to eleven?? maybe??? genuinely, I must've reread them a hundred times, but I could tell you NOTHING about the plots. a few vibes, maybe, but zero plots. did they even have plots?? were plots a thing in those books??? how was I so obsessed with them???? funniest part is the fact that I see people talking about them on the internet now and it's just. insane. actually insane.

Lockwood and Co by Jonathan Stroud. full transparency: I read these for the first time at age eleven (around the time the fourth book out of five came out) and now remain an active member of the fandom. I love these books, and these characters, with my whole heart and I want nothing more than them to be happy. the Netflix show, though I have some pretty severe gripes with it, is still really amazing and absolutely deserves a second season. the books are set in London, where ghosts are real deeply dangerous, and follow the main trio of Lucy, Lockwood, and George. I reread them at the start of the year in preparation for the show, and they're genuinely just incredible works. I sobbed a lot reading them. they're absolutely comfort reads for me; 35 Portland Row is home.

wow. that was a lot. there's honestly several more I could talk about (School for Good and Evil, Percy Jackson, etc), but this is a long enough post for now, ha. love you all <3

[raysofcrosby]

CHRISTMAS WITH YOU – k. kaprizov

warning(s): mentions of death and loss, but otherwise just tons of cute holiday cheer, an embarrassing near fall ice skating and just cute holiday fluff.

word count: 17,897

an: this better late than never, fic is my entry for @antoineroussel's winter fic exchange 2k23!! i had the absolutely pleasure of writing for @callsign-denmark who supplied me a list of players she enjoys reading about and got me broaden my horizons outside of my usual hockey men to write about and got me to write about the happy ray of sunshine that is kirill kaprizov!! as a sucker of friends to lovers, this is a friends to lovers fic, sprinkled with some nice christmas spirit and ofc, as a lover of happy endings– this one's got a good one!! i had fun writing this and i hope you enjoy 🥰����

Tori Holly never understood when people said that Holidays could be some of the loneliest and saddest times in people’s lives. Growing up, she remembered how lively their house always was– filled with music, laughter and the smell of home cooking spreading throughout the house. Especially around Christmas time– that was always the most magical time of the year.

It was when her parents seemed to pull all of their magic together and turn the holiday into every feel good Christmas movie alive. And while both of her parents were only children and her one set of Grandparents that were still alive lived on the west coast– she and her older sister Jess (Jessica only if she was in trouble) never felt like their family of four celebrations were lacking. They were all each other needed and it was always more than enough.

The teaming up on their parents for the gingerbread house building contest, taking turns going shopping with their parents to be able to pick out gifts to buy using some of their saved up money (and in the younger years, their parents money of course). Watching their mom make her mom’s special hot cocoa recipe that she promised to share the recipe with them once they got older “and you two can do the same with your children one day.” Building snowmen, snowball fights, that horrible time Jess convinced Tori to climb into the igloo they tried to build and having it collapse on her (though thankfully it wasn’t a lot of snow and Jess tearfully pulled her sister out by her gloved hand.) Sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace and snuggled up beside their parents as they watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas after begging their parents to let them open just one present on Christmas Eve like they did every year without fail.

No, Tori Holly could never understand how Christmas time more specifically, could be one of the worst times of someone’s life– not until Christmas 2006, when it was going to be the first Christmas and her first birthday without her mom. She was only seven and Jess eleven when their mom got sick. She couldn’t remember a lot of the specifics, but she remembered her mom never looking or acting any differently even after her parents had sat them down on the couch and said “mommy’s doctors say that I’m very sick, but I’m not going to stop fighting.” Sure, her mom was slower around the house, maybe a little more tired– but there wasn’t anything specific that stuck out to her.

In fact, that last Christmas of ‘05, they still did every tradition they’d done in the years prior and she never once saw her mom falter or complain. And by May of ‘06, two months after Jess had turned twelve and only seven months until Tori would turn nine, she had completely forgotten about the “I’m sick” conversation there on the couch. Until right at the end of the September, when she’d gotten called out of class to go to the front office. And when she got there, she saw her Grandma Carol standing there speaking to the woman at the front desk.

“Your dad sent me here to pick you up and Grandpa Dan is going to grab Jess.” She had said it with a smile that Tori couldn’t pinpoint exactly, but instantly recognized it as a softer than her usual big, sunny smile.

She thought maybe they were going to grab ice cream and spend some more time at home with their mom. Seeing as only almost a month into school, their dad let them stay home on Friday’s just so they could spend a little extra time with her. But there was no ice cream and her Grandma didn’t take her home– they were at the hospital. And when she walked down the halls with her Grandma holding her hand and they saw her Dad, Grandpa Dan and a crying Jess, she remembered getting that sinking feeling in her stomach that something was wrong.

And something was wrong. Because it turned out that they were all there to say their last goodbyes to her mom. While she was there, she swore time dragged on– but looking back on it now, she realized just how fast her life had changed in one hour. 

They “celebrated” her ninth birthday and Christmas three months later and while their dad tried his hardest to not let the magic their home always held fade, and he really did try, there would always be a mom shaped hole in her childhood home and she wondered whether Christmas would ever be the same.

Luckily though, their dad was a Godsend. A man who was actively grieving the love of his life while adjusting to being a widower and parenting two girls– one of whom was entering her teenage years– Tori never once saw him waver. He was there at every school or after school event they had, he kept up their traditions, and was the shoulder to lean on and cry on whenever they needed one. He never once complained and after she got older, Tori always wondered how he did it. How he managed to parent them, stay strong and be everything they needed all while he was grieving on his own.

But that was just it– he was the hero their broken hearts needed and he helped heal theirs and his own every day of every month, and every birthday and holiday that came and went…he always managed to keep that magic alive.

To the point where Tori and Jess started to love Christmas once again and not see it as a mourning time for those childhood memories they left behind. And while their mom was a key figure missing at their poignant times– first days of school, first boyfriends, proms, first day of college, graduations, Jess’s wedding day to her high school sweetheart Steven and even the birth of their daughter Clara (their mom’s namesake), their dad, Jess and even she, always made sure that their mom was a part of it.

Especially once Jess and Steven had Clara, and on Tori’s 17th birthday, nonetheless, Jess had told Tori that suddenly she understood the kind of love that their parents had for them and how their dad managed to keep the magic.

Even a week later going on to say, “I would go to the end of the earth to make sure she was happy, and she just tore through my vagina like it was nothing, last week.”

And for the longest time after their mom died, life seemed to slowly return back to what their dad had fondly called their new normal. Eventually, Tori had gone to and graduated from college and moved further into the city not too far away from Jess and Steven or their home to work as a social media intern for the Minnesota Wild. A job that she luckily got with some help from her college mentor who helped her apply and wrote quite the recommendation letter for.

The life she was building for herself felt like a dream. Sure, growing up just south of Saint Paul, she and her family had frequented both Vikings and Wild games. But working behind the scenes in social media for the hockey team whose games she grew up attending was a whole different atmosphere. She met great people within the organization and had even found herself on a first name basis with some of the players.

But it was when she moved into her post-grad apartment the season after commuting from her childhood home to Saint Paul that she became better friends with two players on the team. Jordan Greenway, who was going on his third season with the Wild, and Ryan Hartman who had come from the Philadelphia Flyers. The two weren’t roommates, but both coincidentally lived a few doors down on the very same hall that Tori had. And after bumping into each other a few times and also seeing each other at the rink, it was natural that the three formed a good friendship during her first season working for the team.

Things were going great and Tori had felt like she was on a high after that first season interning for the Wild for the 2019-2020 season. Even when Covid struck and things were in such a limbo. And at the end of what was a wild and unknowing what was ahead time, she felt blessed enough to have been invited back as an intern for the 2020-2021 season, even shadowing more on the producer side of players interviews and getting to see more behind the scenes. And with every day she went to work, she felt more and more confident in her job and herself. Moving away from home was scary, but she was starting to form a life for herself in Saint Paul that she knew her mom would’ve been proud of.

Ryan and Jordan both were amongst the first few people to congratulate her when they found out she got the second producer job within the same department in what would be her third year working for the team that 2021-2022 season.

And it was truly as if things couldn’t go wrong. She loved her apartment, she got to see her sister and her family often, and she had made a nice circle of friends in the job she also loved. And as she celebrated New Years Eve with the Wild at a hotel ballroom the organization had booked out for everyone to celebrate before the Winter Classic the next morning where they would host the St. Louis Blues at Target Field in Minneapolis. She invited Jess and Steven as her plus ones, booking them a room in the hotel so they didn’t have to drive the 30 minutes home the next morning and probably hungover.

Tori woke up early the next morning back in her apartment and went through her whole routine before getting dressed and heading out the door to catch her uber that would be taking her to the stadium where she would be getting everything together before heading over to the field to work the game. And it was just before she and her co-workers were heading out of Xcel Energy Center that she got a call from her dad, answering it like it was just any other old phone call and not one that would ultimately change her entire life.

Just like when she was seven, that sinking feeling in her stomach was back, only this time around it was more poignant and felt like it would knock her legs out from beneath her and sink her down to the floor.

There had been an accident an hour earlier on the same street that the hotel where the Wild New Years Eve party had been hosted– a car accident. Jess and Steven had decided to check out early, walking to the cafe down the block from the hotel to grab some coffee and donuts to take with them before they would drive back to her dad’s to pick up Clara– Tori had the text conversation with Jess in her phone to prove it along with a “not as hungover as we thought, but hungover enough for sugary donuts” selfie of Jess and Steven that Jess had sent with her “good morning, we had a great time and I’ll text you when we get home” text.

Only Tori would never receive that text, because Jess and Steven would never make it home to their dad’s to pick up Clara. They would get hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light while they crossed the street in a crosswalk.

In an instant, she had lost her older sister and brother-in-law, while her niece had lost both of her parents— and it was a pain that Tori never, ever wanted her to feel. To add on top of it, in the flurry of grief and ‘what happens next’ endless scenarios, it was revealed in their will that if anything were to happen to either Jess or Steven…then Tori would become the legal guardian of Clara.

She had made the commitment to accept the position as Clara’s Godmother when they had asked her almost two weeks after Clara was born. And now, she knew the best way she could honor both her older sister and a man who was like a brother to her, by dedicating herself to making the best life possible for Clara.

The last eleven months of seeing grief counselors, balancing work, frequent trips to her dad’s house where Clara was staying for the meantime and her new responsibility of taking care of a soon-to-be eight-year-old as a soon-to-be 25-year-old….all of it had finally come down to now.

It was December. The week leading up to Christmas. Five days until their shared birthday and most importantly, six days until what would be Clara’s first Christmas without her parents.

And Tori had her heart set on making it as great as a Christmas it could be for Clara, just like her dad had done for her and Jess after their mom had died. 

“Another month?!” Tori gasped, keeping her voice low as she leaned against the hall of her childhood home. “But Andrew, you said I’d be able to move in by tomorrow. I’ve already got friends to help me move everything up to that floor.”

“I know I did Tori, but they were finishing the inspection today and there was more mold in the apartment than we first thought, plus some issues with the kitchen and bathroom areas,” Andrew, one of the landlords of her apartment building said, actually sounding sincere. “I’m not going to let you and your niece move in there and put both of your healths at risk.”

Tori nodded, rubbing her right temple with her free hand. “I understand, Andrew.”

“Barb asked them to start as soon as possible because we know you need this two bedroom. So they’re going to start cleaning everything up tomorrow. The guy said that there might be a chance they finish before a month, but that’s the at most it’ll take, time that he gave her.”

“Thank you, Andrew. I appreciate it, really.” She replied, peeking around the corner into her Dad’s living room to see Clara still kneeling in front of the Christmas tree. “Thank you both for looking out for us, I really appreciate it.”

“You’ve had a really rough year, Tori and you’ve always been a really good tenant. Anything my wife and I can do to help you out, we’re more than happy to.”

Tori took a deep breath and exhaled, nodding again. “Keep me updated if there’s any changes.”

“Of course. Have a good day.”

Once she hung up the call, Tori let her head lean back against the wall once more as she closed her eyes. The moment that she had found out that she was going to be Clara’s guardian, Tori had put in a request for a two bedroom apartment. At the time, there was a six month waitlist, so her dad had agreed to take care of Clara until Tori could secure a two bedroom apartment for them both. It wasn’t like she had just dropped her niece off with her dad and went on with her life. On weekends when she had them free, she would drive back to her hometown and spend the night there, keeping herself as involved with Clara’s life as possible. She would pick her up from school, sometimes take her out of school and take her to lunch. She was just as involved in her niece’s life as her dad was, only she wasn’t sleeping down the hall every single night.

And three weeks ago, Barb, the other landlord of their complex, had called her to ask if she was still interested in the two bedroom apartment. And once she told Tori it was hers, Tori knew there were some steps to go through and she requested that Barb and Andrew have whoever it was doing the cleaning, be very thorough. Being grandparents themselves to kids around Clara’s age, they both agreed without a problem.

Until there was a problem that the hired cleaner had found and reported. Some mold that he thought might be more than a surface problem. Andrew and Barb had brought someone out to inspect…leading to the phone call that Tori had just hung up on. She knew it wouldn’t be a problem with her dad for Clara to live here for a month longer. He loved having Clara around, plus he knew that Tori was trying her best to get everything set up so that Clara would be comfortable and in a safe environment when it came time to move.

The only problem was that her dad was out west in Washington State, taking care of her Grandma Doris, who had fallen down in her apartment in the assisted living complex, broke her hip and needed to get surgery. He left only this morning when she and Clara dropped him off at the airport and his return was up in the air, but at most he said he could be back before or after New Years Eve. So now Tori was tasked with the problem of figuring out how they were going to spend Christmas and the week leading up to it, when she needed to be at work a few days this week and all of Clara’s belongings were here at her dad’s house.

Initially, she figured she’d just pack up her things and move into her dad’s place until he came back. Dealing with the extra commute wouldn’t be that bad and Clara wouldn’t have to relocate her things, more importantly they wouldn’t have to lug the already wrapped Christmas presents over to her apartment. However, the short trial run she did when her Dad had informed her of his trip out west– left her with leaving five minutes to spare before she would be deemed late to work.

Which is why they were over at her dad’s place– grabbing the presents already wrapped for her and Clara beneath the tree and putting them into an old foldable wagon before putting them into her car and driving back into the city.

“Aunt Tori, are we taking Grandpa’s too?” Clara asked, calling out.

Tori put her phone back into her front pocket and walked out from the hall, over towards the decorated Christmas tree. “We can if you want. That way if he’s able to come home earlier, we can have him come over to the apartment and open his presents there.”

Clara looked at her and then back at the tree. “But then Grandpa will have to drive back here with his presents, right?”

“He could always sleep on the couch,” Tori shrugged.

Clara laughed before scrunching her nose. “He’s old though.” She looked back towards the tree and sighed. “We can just drive over here when he comes home, right? So we can be with him when he opens his presents?’

“I think that sounds like a great plan, Clara.”

“Okay, I’ll leave them then,” she said, putting down the present that she’d been holding. “I think I got all of ours though. I’m ready.”

Tori nodded and grabbed onto the handle of the wagon as she let Clara walk ahead of her and they left her childhood home, tugging the Christmas presents that she and her dad had bought Clara, along with some of the presents Clara and her dad had bought for her. Once she helped Clara carry the wagon down the front porch steps, she walked back to the front door and made sure it was locked before walking towards her car to help Clara put her presents into the trunk.

This wasn’t how she expected to be spending Christmas. If anything, she was planning on spending the week here with her dad and Clara at her childhood home, making new memories and reliving old traditions– the three of them opening their presents together on Christmas morning and watching movies on Christmas Eve.

But life had a crazy way of flipping things upside down a lot of the time, and this was just one more hurdle she had to overcome.

“We don’t need that many groceries, Clara. We’re just here for some quick necessities.”

“You have like, nothing in your fridge, Aunt Tori!” Clara whined, hanging onto the end of the cart. “It’s like you’re trying to starve me.”

Tori laughed, shaking her head as she put a carton of eggs into the cart. “I’m pretty sure you can go a week without the betty crocker cake mix. We’re just here to get some breakfast stuff, cookies for Santa, some carrots for the reindeer and then maybe we can find one of those gingerbread house making kits.”

Clara audibly groaned as she leaned her head back, acting more thirteen than she was near eight. Today was supposed to be the day that the four boys down the hall would help Tori and Clara move into their new two bedroom apartment just a floor above where they were staying now– however, seeing that the apartment wasn’t ready for them to move in just yet, it was instead just an errand day, seeing as Tori had already taken off of work. Leaving her with the responsibility of entertaining Clara for the whole day, especially since groceries was the only errand she could come up with.

It didn’t help that Clara had been spewing off a “what are we gonna do later?” question what felt like every fifteen minutes. What she didn’t want to do was keep Clara inside of the house and sit her in front of the tv all day. She wanted to take her to play in the snow, go sledding, maybe even ice skate– do fun things that she could report back to her second grade class once winter break was over. But aside from the rink and the local spot in her childhood neighborhood, Tori couldn’t think of any place they could go ice skating at, especially seeing as driving to and from her old hometown with holiday traffic wasn’t ideal.

“Aunt Tori, I thought you were fun,” Clara groaned, her tone echoing just the same as they were in the grocery store, only now they were standing in the apartment hall, just in front of her door as she fished for her keys from the depths of her purse.

“I am fun,” Tori huffed, digging her hands and moving around all the non important things she had shoved into the crossbody bag.

“That sounds like something someone boring would say.” Clara replied, leaning her right shoulder against the wall.

“Tori? Boring?” They looked down the hall to see Ryan Hartman walking down the hall. “You must have the wrong Tori, squirt.”

“Hi Ryan, Mason, Jordan and Kirill!” Clara smiled, perking up. “Did you guys do anything fun today?”

“Just practice,” Jordan replied, as the group of four came to a stop. “What about you?”

“Just grocery shopping,” Clara replied, looking at Tori. “Where someone wouldn’t buy the Betty Crocker cake mix.”

“You’ll survive,” Tori replied, moving the plastic bag further onto her arm so she could use two hands. “I just need to find the keys–”

“Here, Tori, let me help,” Kirill said, coming up and grabbing the plastic bags from off of her arm, holding them for her as he smiled and nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Well would you look at that boys,” Mason teased, patting Kirill on the shoulders. “What a gentleman.”

Tori tried not to tuck her chin into her chest too much and hoped that her warm cheeks weren’t turning pink as she nodded at Kirill. “Thanks, Kirill. My arm was killing me.”

She quickly found her keys in her purse and grabbed them, unlocking the front door and motioning for Clara to go inside. “Let them get back to their apartments and nap.”

“Oh great,” Clara sighed dramatically. “Now I get to be more bored and watch tv.”

“No plans?” Jordan asked, as Clara walked into the apartment.

“None that I can think of that aren’t back home. I spend every Christmas back there, I don’t know of anything happening around here.”

Jordan laughed, shaking his head. “Did you completely forget about the family skate they’re doing down at the rink later? The one’s for players and staff?”

Tori blinked, looking at the four of them. “Wasn’t that last week?”

“Try today in about two hours, Tor,” Ryan said. “We’re just grabbing lunch and then heading back.”

“CAN WE GO ICE SKATING AUNT TORI? I WANT TO GO!” Clara said, running back towards the door. “Please, please, please, please–”

“I– do you even know how to skate?”

“I can help!” Kirill chimed in, sheepishly smiling once he realized just how loud his interruption had been. “I don’t mind helping.”

“PLEASE AUNT TORI? PLEASSSEEEEEE–”

“Fine, fine,” Tori laughed, shaking her head as she took the bags from Kirill and playfully pointed at him. “But I’m counting on you not to let her fall if she turns out to be a total bambi.”

“I won’t.”

“Alright, so get ready, we’ll swing by in a few to pick you up and we’ll all head over together,” Ryan said, patting both of Kirill’s shoulders before the four men made their way down the hall to their apartments and Tori walked back into hers.

“This is gonna be so much fun, I can’t wait!” Clara squealed, running back to Tori’s bedroom. “I need to grab some thicker socks!”

Tori just sighed, shaking her head as she locked the door behind her and moved the groceries onto the kitchen island, prepared to unpack them before the boys came back.

It was funny. In all of her time working for the Wild, she’d never actually been to one of the family skates as a participant. Maybe once or twice to fill in and capture some stuff for their social media team– but even that was only just there for a few minutes and then she went back home. But now, now she was actively sitting in the bench surrounded by some of the team and staff’s family who were either choosing not to skate or were caring for little ones who weren’t going onto the ice– while the players and the staff who chose to skate with their family members, were out gliding around on the ice ahead of her.

She was leaning against the edge of the bench arena watching out for Clara as Kirill had stuck to his word and stayed with her to make sure that she wouldn’t fall down and hurt herself. Tori knew that Clara had been skating a few times before, but she wasn’t sure how she would be able to handle being out by herself or her skating abilities at all. And Tori would be lying if she said that watching Kirill holding onto Clara’s hands and skating backwards as he pulled her along, didn’t make her weak in the knees. Being the kindhearted guy she knew he was, he was probably telling her words of encouragement as they moved around the rink and every so often when he would let her hands go, he would be cheering her on to catch up to him.

Kirill has always been the kind, gentle guy he is, since she met him his rookie season. And while she hadn’t originally seen herself falling for the brown eyed boy’s nature…she couldn’t help but do so. Anytime they saw each other at the rink, he’d always make sure to say hi and talk to her. Even if they didn’t cross paths, it seemed like he would actively go out of his way to pass by her and Kaia’s office to say hi. In the interviews she got to run, he was always more than eager to play into whatever she had planned– more so than any of the most playful guys on the team.

Perhaps the one thing that hooked her onto him the most, was when there were home games…he’d always meet her at her office or wait for her in the parking garage to get to her car before driving back to their apartment complex with her– just so he could walk her to her door and say goodnight. He was a gentleman, that was for sure. And Tori has been trying so hard not to let herself fall for him, because he was one of her closest friends.

However, it was proving very, very difficult and the only thing keeping her from totally falling for him, was the realization that he had yet to make a move– the confident, kind, hockey player…hadn’t even done as much as try to hold her hand on their walk out of the elevator and down their hall to their respective apartments.

“Hey Tori,” Kirill said, coming to a stop just next to her on the other side of the ice. “Why not come out and skate, hm?”

“What? Did you lose Clara?” She laughed, trying not to let herself melt into his warm and welcoming eyes.

He laughed, shaking his head before looking out onto the ice for a few seconds and then pointing out across the way. “She left me. She’s a lot better of a skater than she said. Fast learner too.”

“And now you need a skating buddy?”

“Mhhm, so come on, what do you say?” He asked, leaning against the boards and smiling. “What’s Clara do? Oh yeah, please, please, please, please–”

Tori covered his mouth as she laughed and shook her head. “Okay, fine, fine, I’ll skate with you.”

He moved slowly down to the bench gate as Tori awkwardly walked on her rented skates and when she reached the open door, Kirill held out his hand for her to take. The small action actually caused her heart to thump against her chest and she stared at his hand before reaching out and grabbing it, allowing him to take her cold hand into his warm one.

“Do I need to teach you too?” He teased, still holding onto her hand as she balanced on the ice and pushed away from the boards.

“Ha ha, no,” she replied, rolling her eyes and not wanting to drop his hand– but also wanting to prove to him that he was just as good a skater. “You might not know this about me, but I did figure skating growing up.”

His eyes widened as he started to quicken his pace to follow her. “Really?”

“No,” she laughed, looking over her shoulder and smiling at him. “But, we did go ice skating sometimes. So I’ve picked up a few things when I was younger.” She turned herself around, slowly starting to skate backwards as she kept up her pace. “See?”

“You’re the best out here,” he laughed. “How’s Christmas shopping going?”

“I think my dad and I have gotten Clara just about everything she asked for,” she replied, turning herself back around and somehow keeping herself balanced. “The only thing I can’t find is this like, DIY living room tent thing? I don’t know, it’s something she saw on youtube and it’s like a cute tent she can put up with some lights and stuff.”

“Is that what she really wants?” He asked, looking concerned.

Tori nodded, bringing out her phone. “Yeah, she had it highlighted under both her birthday list and Christmas list.” She pulled up safari which opened up the link to the tent, handing him her phone. “I’ve looked at just about every retail store, Amazon, their website…and I guess I keep missing the restocks or something because I’ve had no luck.”

Kirill looked at her phone, and he noticed him scrolling, probably trying to read and look at the product. “Want me to help?”

“No, no that’s okay,” she replied, taking her phone as he handed it back and putting it into her front pocket. “I’m sure they’ll restock it after Christmas and I’ll find a way to grab it then.” 

“Hi Aunt Tori, hi Kirill, look at me!” Clara smiled, skating by them at a faster pace.

“Please be careful!” Tori called out, her plea falling on deaf ears as she slowly turned herself back to skating backwards. “She’s so cocky, I don’t know where she gets it from.”

“No?” Kirill laughed, raising his eyebrows.

“Totally a lie, she gets it from Jess and I. We were best friends, but we always used to compete at who was the best,” she smiled, starting to freely move backwards and getting a little more comfortable. “Jess could never really get the whole skating backwards thing, but me? Nailed it easily. You can tell too, can’t you?

“You could be on the team,” he smiled, staying close as he skated by her side.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” she said, brushing off her shoulder. “Wouldn’t want to take your job–oh!” 

She felt her skate hit a ridge, knocking her off balance and sending her falling backwards to the ice. She fully expected to make contact with the cold ice, even preparing herself for trying not to hit her head…but her body never met the cold ground. She looked up to see Kirill standing there…no, holding her– he’d caught her from hitting the ground.

“You okay?” He asked, looking down at her as he had her in his firm and secure grasp.

Tori nodded, trying her best to laugh it off as if her heart wasn’t racing inside of her chest. “I guess I’m still a little bit rusty.”

“Not too bad,” he smiled, helping her hand back up and then standing in front of her. “But maybe I should help you like I helped Clara, yeah?”

He held out both of his hands and Tori found herself thanking the cold environment for hiding the fact that her cheeks weren’t red from the cold, but from the blushing she had going on. She nodded and reached out, grabbing onto both of his hands and smiled. “Yeah, I could use a lot of it. You won’t let go, right?”

Her last comment was meant to be a little teasing, but deep down inside, she was asking him not to let go of her hands because she enjoyed holding them– feeling the callouses from years of playing hockey against her soft palms.

Kirill shook his head, still smiling. “I won’t let you go.”

Tori never expected she’d have to go into the office while the team was on a two game roadie, but there she was, trudging into the office during a snowfall while Clara tagged along, practically bouncing her way down the halls as she took in the sights of the stadium. The one thing that Tori always loved about kids and hockey, was that it was always as if they were seeing the stadium and the halls and the decorative wallpaper with players and history past and present…for the first time. It was also just so magical to them, which reminded her to never lose that spark for her job.

Kaia had come in earlier, which is why Tori knew she needed to. There was some files that Kaia couldn’t locate on her work computer that had to do with their upcoming plans for interviews after the holidays and Tori knew they were on hers– the only problem was that her computer was in her office– not home with her. It was a simple fix, all she’d need to do was grab her laptop, check the files were on there and email them to Kaia before taking her laptop home with her.

Clara wanted to see everything though, because she’d never seen what Tori’s office was like. No one was there, so Tori let her look around the office and then as they were leaving, they passed one of the equipment managers who had stayed home on the trip and once Tori told him she was giving Clara a tour, he offered to let them take a look around the locker room.

It was nothing but excitement once they walked into the decorated locker room, Tori having been in there once or twice before, but never realizing just how huge it was when there were twenty some guys lounging around. Clara went on the search for the lockers of the four men from down the hall, sitting in each one and asking Tori to take a picture so she could send it to them. And when she did, she was greeted with lots of laughing emojis and a few “is she trying to take my job?” comments.

But once they were on their way home, Tori knew that they could relax for the rest of the day. Maybe order in some chinese and watch whatever it was on tv that Clara wanted to watch– Christmas movies or not. Once they parked, Tori felt her pocket vibrate and pulled out her phone to see she had a text from Barb saying that she had a package up at the front desk.

“Quick detour, Clara, we’ve got to pick something up at the front desk first,” Tori said, putting her phone back into her pocket and taking a left in the parking garage towards the door that would lead into the lobby of the apartment building versus the elevator to take them to their floor.

Barb was sitting at the computer behind the counter and immediately greeted them with a smile once she saw them. “Perfect timing,” she said, coming around the corner of the desk. “This just got dropped off about five minutes ago with the rest of the amazon deliveries.”

“Amazon?” Tori asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “I don’t remember ordering anything…”

“Maybe it’s from Grandpa!” Clara smiled. “A last minute present!”

“Maybe,” Tori said, taking the long box and realizing it did have her name on it. “Hm, we’ll just go upstairs and I’ll open it in my room to see what it is. Thanks again, Barb.”

“Of course, you two have a good rest of your day. Warm up a bit, your noses are red.”

“Bye Mrs. Barb,” Clara waved, now carrying Tori’s computer bag over her shoulder as they made their way towards the elevator, Tori trying not to struggle carrying the long box.

“Are you sureeee I can’t look at it?” Clara smiled as the elevator started to move.

“I’m sure,” Tori replied, smiling back. “It’s too close to your birthday and Christmas for you to open anything.”

Clara huffed as the elevator doors opened and they walked out into the hallway, making their way to the apartment door. Once Tori unlocked the door and nudged it open with her foot, Clara walked inside, resting the computer bag onto the island counter. “I’ll be right here, not looking at my present.”

“You do that,” Tori laughed, closing and locking the door behind her before making her way down the hall to her bedroom and locking that door behind her as well. She placed the box onto the floor and walked into her bathroom, grabbing a pair of scissors she had to trim the candles along her bathtub and walking back into the room, kneeling onto the ground.

She had stopped a majority of her Christmas shopping last week, anything she bought now was just some small stuff she figured that Clara would like that could go into her stocking, so she couldn’t imagine what was in this box, because as far as she knew, she didn’t have anything out for delivery. When she lifted the open edges of the box, her jaw dropped…it was the tent she’d been searching for for weeks– the only thing is…she didn’t order it.

But who did?

She grabbed the box and opened her bedroom door, walking out into the living room where Clara was on the couch. “Alright, I’ll let you open this one present before your birthday. But just this one, got it?”

Clara smiled, jumping off of the couch and running over as Tori put the box down onto the ground. She squealed in excitement once she saw what was in the box, throwing the sides open and reaching in to grab it. “Oh my God, Aunt Tori!!!! It’s the tent!!!!” She smiled, looking up at her. “Can we please clear some space so we can open it? Pretty please, please, please, please?”

“Of course,” Tori laughed, helping her take the box out of the amazon box and smiling. “Just give me a minute and we’ll clear out a space for it.”

She walked over to the island counter, resting the box against it when she saw her phone lit up with a text from Kirill.

Kirill 🐻: I see you got the amazon delivery. Was that the right one?

Her eyes widened as she looked over her shoulder to see Clara still admiring the box the tent came in. SHe walked further into the kitchen and kept her back to Clara as she clicked on his contact and opened up a facetime call. It only rang a few times before he answered it, his smiling face appearing on the screen. “Hey–”

“You bought it? But how did you– where did you–” Tori was speechless.

“I remembered you showing it to me at family skate,” he said, laying down in the hotel bed he was at. “I looked for it and I must’ve been lucky because they restocked it on Amazon that night, so I ordered it and paid for express shipping.”

“Kirill, I…” she sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t know how to say thank you, but–”

“You don’t need to,” he replied, shaking his head. “I saw you were stressed about it and I wanted to help. I like seeing you happy…Clara too,” he smiled.

Tori smiled, nodding her head. “Thank you so, so much. You just made her birthday I’m sure.” She looked over her shoulder at Clara. “Clara, come say thank you to Kirill for finding the tent.”

Clara ran over and in an instant, appeared right by Tori’s side and into the frame. “Kirill, you’re the best and you’re my favorite person in the whole entire world!” She squealed, jumping up and down.

Kirill laughed, shaking his head. “Can I see the tent when we get back home?”

“Duh!” Clara smiled. “You’ll be the first guest besides Aunt Tori! Unless you guys want to see it together.”

“Go unpack your text,” Tori replied, rolling her eyes and nudging Clara out of the kitchen. “Kirill, I really can’t express how much this means to her…and to me.”

“You don’t need too, just as long as it makes you both happy,” he said, sitting up in the bed. “I need to go now, got to get ready for the bus ride to the arena.”

“Good luck tonight, score a goal or two, hm?” She smiled, wrapping her left around around her waist.

Kirill laughed, nodding his head. “Make it two, one for you one for Clara.” She felt the butterflies liven in her stomach when he said it, still smiling. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Kirill, good luck.”

“WAIT,” he said, appearing back in the frame. “Before I go, I wanted to know if um…” he cleared his throat, appearing a little nervous. “If you wanted to be my date for the Christmas Party…or we can go as friends–”

She felt her heart pound against her chest at the mention of that one word– date. She smiled, nodding her head. “A date will be nice,” she spoke softly.

Kirill lit up, his smile big as he nodded. “Okay, great, I’ll talk to you later then! Bye.”

She hung up the phone call, biting onto her bottom lip as she brought her phone up beneath her chin and tried to stop herself from smiling so big. She couldn’t wrap her mind around just how he had been searching for the tent after she told him how she was really wanting to buy it for Clara since it was the thing she wanted most. He didn’t have to do that…but he did, because he wanted Clara to be happy just as much as she did.

“Aunt Tori, come on,” Clara said, standing up in the living room. “I’ve got it unpacked!”

Tori laughed, nodding her head. “Alright, we’ve got a tent to build.”

She went to put her phone down onto the counter, seeing it light up one more time with a text from Kirill.

Kirill 🐻: Can’t wait! 😊

If it was up to Tori, she would bring Clara along with her to the Wild Christmas Party tonight. Clara was a social girl, she seemed to love Ryan, Kirill, Mason and Jordan, and she knew there was no doubt in her mind that she would also get along with the rest of the players and staff she’d meet at the party. However, the party would go pretty late into the evening and keeping her up that late, even though she was on Christmas break didn’t exactly scream ‘I’m a responsible guardian.’ Even though she remembered all the times on holidays where her parents let her and Jess stay up late (and she thought they were great parents), this was something she was new at and she was too scared to mess it up– even over something so incredibly small.

So, she called up Maddie, her old childhood best friend and college roommate who Clara knows well, seeing as Maddie was close to Jess too, and asked if maybe she’d be able to babysit Clara for a few hours while Tori was just minutes down the road in one of the ballrooms at the St. Paul Hotel.

Once the two had left the arena after her brief stop into the office to check her emails, they went out to breakfast and then went shopping. Any and every store that Clara had wanted to stop in, Tori never said no. She wanted the day to be a good one. One where they stopped at Starbucks and got Clara a lemon loaf and a hot chocolate while she got herself a cake pop and a hot chocolate as well. Sipping and snacking on their drinks while they went to target and they took turns pointing out what they hoped Santa would bring for them– Tori taking pictures whenever Clara wasn’t looking so she knew what she could send an order out for tomorrow and have someone swing by and pick it up when she had the chance.

And when they came home, they sat down at the small kitchen table with their to-go lunches they grabbed from a panera down the street and sat down together to eat. Tori listened while Clara talked about which Christmas movies they should watch. How she relived telling her the play-by-play of the day she, Tori and the boys went ice skating three days prior. And when lunch was over, Clara sat in the living room watching Julie and the Phantoms (again) on Netflix while Tori took a quick shower, getting dressed into some light pajamas before walking out and checking on Clara.

“Everything okay here?” She asked, towel drying her hair. “Do you need anything?”

“I’m good,” Clara replied, looking over at her. “What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna do my hair and put on some make-up,” Tori replied, softly squeezing the water out of the ends of her hair.

Clara perked up on the arm of the couch, a small smile on her face. “Can I help?”

Tori smiled, draping her towel over her arm. “You want to?” Clara nodded, pushing herself up onto her knees and Tori just nodded her over. “Alright, let’s go to my bathroom.”

Clara jumped off of the couch and ran over to her brushing by and going down the short hall before making a left into Tori’s bedroom. Tori just laughed as she followed behind, walking into her bedroom and then going into her conjoining bathroom where Clara was leaning against the sink.

“Once I’m done blow drying my hair, what do you think I should do? Curl it or straighten it?” She asked, grabbing her blow dryer and plugging it into an outlet.

“Hm…” Clara squinted as she focused on her. “Straighten! You already have curly hair.”

“I have waves,” Tori laughed, looking down at Clara. “Your mom got the curls from our mom, your Grandma Clara.”

She spoke before she thought about how mentioning Jess might affect Clara. It was just so natural for the words to come out, she couldn’t help it. She felt guilty when she thought she saw a flicker of sadness wash across Clara’s hazel eyes– her father’s eyes– before she just walked over and sat down on the edge of the tub.

“Can I play music on your phone while you dry your hair?” She asked, kicking her feet. Tori nodded and picked up her phone, handing it to Clara after she synced it with her bluetooth speaker that was set up in her bathroom. “Any requests?”

“Whatever your little Christmas loving heart desires,” Tori smiled, getting ready to turn the blow dryer on before turning back towards Clara, pointing the dryer at her. “Except the hippopotamus song, that’s my ultimate crossing the line song.”

“You’re no fun,” Clara replied, rolling her eyes before looking back down at the phone, her small fingers scrolling up the phone screen in search for a song to play.

Tori had to point out that she had a Christmas playlist on Spotify, ultimately finding it for her and then letting Clara pick whatever songs she wanted to play from the list as she blow dried her hair. The two of them sang along to all of the classics even as Tori switched from blow drying her hair to straightening it.

The both of them burst into song with smiles on their faces once Mariah Carey’s classic, ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ came on, and though the memories of her and Jess doing the very same thing when they were younger flooded her mind, seeing Clara sing her little heart out, belting the notes at the top of her lungs, was enough to wipe away the sad afterthought just long enough for Tori to finish straightening her hair.

“Are you sure about the gold eyeshadow? You don’t think it’s too much?” Tori asked, looking away from her small portable mirror and  turning to face the soon to be eight-year-old.

“I think it brings out your eyes,” Clara replied, swinging her sitting besides Tara on the floor, using the small bathtub carpet to place the make-up she had placed just in front of her to ‘help figure out our options.’ “You guys have pretty eyes…” Clara paused and then looked back down at the make-up containers in front of her. “Had, I guess.”

Tori swallowed the knot in her throat, wanting to comfort the sadness that Clara was feeling, but even her correction into a past tense had been so soft, Tori wandered if acknowledging it was going to be the right thing to do. “Well I think you have the prettiest eyes.”

“They’re alright,” Clara shrugged, picking up a lip pencil. “They’re just brown.”

“They’re hazel,” Tori corrected, putting down the liquid golden eyeshadow after closing the tube. “And even if they were just brown, they’re still beautiful. Brown eyes are like…” she paused, trying not to let herself picture the moment at ice skating when she almost embarrassed herself falling down and Kirill caught her fall. “They’re warm and sometimes when they’re really brown, they’ve got this depth in them…like that person’s got all of the secrets in the world hidden behind their eyes. And when the light catches them? Magical. It’s like they can change a multitude of shades and–”

Clara was smiling, catching Tori off guard. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you have a crussshhhhh,” Clara sang, handing Tori the pencil. “And it’s on Kirilllllll.”

“I do not,” Tori scoffed, taking the pencil and looking at the shade before uncapping it, shaking her head. “I do not, nope.”

“Yes you do,” Clara giggled, sitting up from her butt and onto the backs of her heels. “And you know how I know? Because he has brown eyes and you went all,” she fluttered her eyelashes and smiled, cupping her hands beneath her face as if she was playing a lovesick girl in a movie. “When talking about brown eyes.”

Tori laughed, turning her focus back to the mirror to apply her lip liner. “Just because he has brown eyes and I romanticized them to make YOU feel better, doesn’t mean I have a crush on Kirill. Now find me a shade of lipstick, my little make-up guru.”

Ever like her mother, Clara rolled her eyes at Tori’s playoff of the all too real situation that she’d brought up. But crushing on the guy just down the hall wasn’t really something she wanted her niece to call her out on. It was bad enough that it had been something Jess had picked up on last year when she and Steven had a date night to a game and met her afterwards.

And it didn’t help that Tori had always been the kind of girl who let the smallest of moments and things turn into the biggest when it came to love and things like it. Thoughts always spent a little extra time in her head and her brain would spin them and turn them into special butterfly inducing memories until her feelings were almost as big as the heart her mom always told her she had and one that “anyone would be lucky to have love them.” The absolute last thing that she needed was for her brain to spin the small moments, big moments, and every funny tik tok, simple text or wave from Kirill, into something butterfly inducing. The absolute, very, very, VERY last thing she needed…was to have feelings for the kindhearted, brown-eyed boy down the hall.

Or, you know, that she needed to acknowledge them. Because she knew deep down that there were feelings there for him, small or large she didn’t know. She didn’t want to allow herself to feel those, when she wasn’t even sure about whether or not him having similar feelings for her were possible.

“Aunt Tori,” Clara said, waving the lipstick in front of her face. “How’s this shade?”

Tori cleared her throat, removing herself from her inner thoughts before looking at the perfect match of a shade of red lipstick and smiling. “It’s perfect. I should just have you do my make-up from now on, that way I can sit back and relax while you do all the work.”

“Only if you boost my allowance up to $10,” she said, standing up and brushing off her pants.

“Only if you actually do your chores,” Tori replied, carefully applying her lipstick onto her top lip before blotting it with the bottom.

Clara extended her hand out, nodding. “Deal.”

Tori laughed and shook her hand before returning back to applying her lipstick, Clara coming over with a folded up piece of toilet paper before she even had to ask. “Do you just watch those beauty youtubers all the time?”

“Mainly tiktok, but sometimes I watch youtube. I’m gonna go get a snack.”

“Okay, I’ll be out there in a bit,” she replied, capping her lipstick and blotting using the toilet paper. She collected the makeup from beside her and put it all back into the storage where it belonged before standing up and putting her make-up all back onto her bathroom counter.

She took a step back from the counter, moving her hair off of her shoulders and towards her back as she took in the job that she and Clara had done together. She was still getting used to the way her curtain bangs were framing her face, knowing that Jess would be right over her shoulder and telling her that she knew she’d second guess getting the hairstyle. That was the thing though, she wasn’t sure if she did second guess getting it…she just liked the idea of being able to hear her older sister tease her in the back of her mind.

Besides, Clara, her dad and Kirill said that they liked her hair. Though perhaps Kirill’s approval was right up there with Clara’s– almost a close second.

Tori turned off the bathroom light and walked into her bedroom, going over to her walk-in closet and opening the door, not even needing to turn on the light to know where her dress for tonight was at. She’d hung it just next to the door the moment after she’d washed it…the same day she bought it. She’s been excited to wear it from the moment she saw it on a random shopping trip during her lunch break with Kaia. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but it was a dress that when she jokingly tried it on…she felt different in it.

She imagined, as she stood there in that dressing room with the lights illuminating her closed stall, that this feeling…whatever it was, was what her mom had talked about when she and Jess were growing up. That one day, when they were engaged and wedding dress shopping, that it would be nothing like shopping for homecoming dresses or prom dresses was going to be. That the dress, would make them feel like they were the most beautiful person in the room. Her mom was right, she and Jess never felt that way shopping for their homecoming or prom dresses– but she knew Jess had felt that moment the day she, after trying on what felt like every dress in the bridal shop, tried on the dress she would wear when she walked down the aisle to Steve.

Granted, Tori hadn’t bought her dress while preparing for her wedding, but the way she suddenly saw herself in a different light as the deep green, sparkly velvet material hugged her body as if it were made just for her. Feeling the soft material cut in an A-line on her chest and flare out into a skater dress just at her mid thigh, she stood there so long in that dressing room admiring the way the dress looked, that Kaia had knocked on the door saying “the dress can’t be that bad.”

And it wasn’t, because the moment Tori walked out of the dressing room, Kaia told her to turn right back around and change because, “you are so buying that dress.”

She grabbed the hanger, bringing the dress out of her closet and then walking towards her bed as she laid it down on top of her comforter. She changed out of her sweatpants and tank top and grabbed the dress, sliding the material off of it’s hanger and stepping into the dress, the material hugging against her body, feeling the velvet against the palms of her hands as she rubbed her hands down the stress, flattening out any wrinkles. Also in her closet, were the shoes she was going to wear tonight as well.

“What, Clara?” She called out, swearing she heard Clara’s voice. She bent down and quickly slid on each heel before making her way out of her bedroom and down the short hallway, eventually coming into her shared living and dining rooms.

“I said, Maddie’s here,” Clara replied, walking over towards the couch and sitting down next to Maddie.

“You answered the door?” Tori asked, eyes wide as she walked over to the small island counter where she had set down the purse she was going to use tonight, was. “I know for a fact that you were taught not to answer the door–”

“For strangers,” Clara replied, shrugging. “I got a chair and looked through the peephole to see who it was. Maddie’s not a stranger, so I answered it.”

Tori sighed, shaking her head. “Okay, technically she’s not a stranger, but you should’ve come back and told me that Maddie was here before opening the door. For all you know she could be on one of her crazy trips and rob us blind.”

Maddie rolled her eyes as she sipped on her Starbucks refresher. “Ha ha, very funny. Mind you, I’m here aren’t I?”

“Yes and thank you for that,” Tori replied, grabbing her small clutch and making sure she had transferred everything over that she’d need for tonight.

“Yeah, yeah, what are besties for, now come over here so we can see the final look.” Maddie said, waving her over. “Full on fashion show like the ones we used to do in fifth grade.”

This time, Tori rolled her eyes as she put the clutch back down onto the island and walked into the living room. “Do I really–”

Maddie held her hand up, shaking her head. “I said, fashion show. So strut.”

Clara laughed, sitting up on her knees in excitement as they both had their eyes on Tori, who was giving into the demands and like when she was a kid, put on her best “supermodel” runway walk and walked into the living room, doing a twirl and then playfully flipping her hair over her shoulder before stopping in front of them and sighing, shrugging her arms. “So? Thoughts?”

Maddie looked at Clara and then leaned over, cupping her ear and whispering as Clara shook her head and then nodded, her face going through a whole slew of emotions before finally nodding again. Maddie sat up straight and the two looked at each other before Clara looked back at Tori and smiled. 

“We think you look hot.”

Tori laughed, throwing her head back just barely as she shook her head. “Well thank you, but hot should not be in your vocabulary yet. Wait until you’re like…I don’t know, 18.”

“18?! But that’s forever!” Clara whined, falling back against the couch. “14.”

A knock on the door interrupted what Tori was going to say as she pointed at Clara. “We’ll talk about it later.” She walked towards the door, already knowing who was going to be on the other side since this was about the time that they agreed in their group chat to meet up so they could all travel to the party together.

“Hey guy…oh, hi” she expected to see Ryan, Kirill, Mason and Jordan, along with three of their dates she knew were tagging along. But instead…it was only Kirill standing at her front door, dressed very nice in a black suit that had gold trim, along with a dark gray shirt underneath. 

And he was wearing the hell out of the suit.

“Hi,” he spoke, clearing his throat soon after as he pointed his thumb down the hall. “The guys sent me here. We’re ready to go, are you?”

“I am,” she nodded, trying not to focus on the way she could see his eyes taking in her dress. “I just um,” she looked over her shoulder. “Need to grab my purse…come on in.”

“Thanks,” he nodded, sucking in his lips as he kept his hands in his pockets and walked into her apartment, closing the door behind him.

“Hi Kirill!” Clara said, standing up from the couch and walking over. “What’s with the funny suit?”

Kirill smiled as he held out his fist for her to bump. “Funny suit?”

Clara giggled as she shook her head. “You’re just really dressed up! I only ever see you wearing jeans and stuff.”

“Oh,” he replied, looking a little embarrassed as Tori turned around. “A Christmas party. I’m picking up Tori.”

“Mhhm and now we’re getting ready to leave, so please be on your best behavior for Maddie,” Tori said, draping the chain of her clutch purse over her shoulder and pointing to Maddie. “And no obscene amount of sugar after eight.”

“No fun,” Maddie replied, waving at Kirill. “Hey Kirill, take care of our girl tonight please. No shenanigans.”

“Shenanigans?” He asked, looking at Tori, his cheeks tinting pink as he looked for a translation.

“No pranks, practical jokes,” Tori replied, shaking her head. “Ignore her.” She turned back towards Clara bending down to her level and holding out her pinky finger. “Promise to be on your best behavior?”

“You’re leaving?” Clara asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked between Tori and Kirill.

Tori nodded, adjusting her clutch chain, going to kiss the top of Clara’s head. “Just down the street to the team Christmas party. I promise I’ll be back–”

“No!” Clara yelled, backing herself away from the affectionate moment.

The three adults stood there in shock at the way the personable and bubbly, but often quiet, Clara raised her voice so defiantly.

“No, you can’t go!” Tori could see the way Clara’s face began to crumble and knew she was only moments away from crying. “If you go, you won’t come back! My mommy and daddy didn’t!”

Tori stepped towards Clara, ready to comfort the now crying child. “Clara–” Just as she went to get down to her level, Clara spun around on her heels and ran back towards the only bedroom of the apartment– Tori’s– slamming the door shut behind her.

The silence was loud and heavy as she stared down the hall, the most outrageous part expecting her for Clara to come back out laughing– that it was all a joke. But the big part of her, the one that knew Clara was genuinely upset, scared even…that part tugged at her heart, causing an ache so deep that it didn’t take her a second to turn around to face Kirill.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke, shaking her head as she took her clutch off of her shoulder. “I can’t go tonight. I can’t–” she looked back over her shoulder, shaking her head as she looked back at him. “I can’t leave her like this.

She couldn’t tell what exactly it was that he was feeling– confused at what went down, sad that she was bailing, concerned for Clara or maybe even a little scared at the outburst– but like he always did, he put on that small, comforting smile that always gave her the biggest of butterflies, and nodded his head.

“I’ll let the guys know.” He walked back to her door, opening it as she followed behind him. He turned back around, his eyes looking just past her and over her shoulder. “Tell Clara I hope she’s okay.”

Tori leaned against the door, nodding. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Again, I’m sorry. I know–”

“It’s okay, Tori.” He replied, still smiling as she rocked back on his heels. “See you later.”

She waved as she watched him walk back down the hall towards his room most likely to grab the rest of their group before looking back into her apartment and sighing, nodding at Maddie. “You should probably go too.”

Maddie nodded, getting up off of the couch and collecting her things off of the island counter before coming over to Tori, not hesitating a single moment before wrapping her arms around her and hugging her. “It’s not your fault.”

“I didn’t–” Tori paused, as Maddie pulled back and she looked down the hallway. “I should’ve known she’d get upset and I didn’t think about that.” She took a deep breath, exhaling as she looked back at Maddie, feeling the tears burn in her eyes. “Jess would’ve known what to do. She would’ve known–”

“Hey, don’t get down on yourself, Tor,” Maddie said, holding onto Tori’s arms. “This…all of this is new to you, but you’ve done a hell of a job so far. No one expects you to be perfect, okay? You had one slip up and even then…you’re doing your damndest. You’re canceling your plans to make sure that Clara is okay.”

Maddie reached up and cupped her face, gaining her attention as she looked into her eyes. “You’re trying, Tori. You’re trying and you’re learning…and that’s all Jess and Steven both would have wanted.”

Tori nodded, hugging Maddie again before pulling away. “Thank you.”

“You know I’ll always be here for you,” she smiled, walking out of her apartment door. “And send me that receipt for your Target order, I’ll swing by and pick it up tomorrow. Love you Tor.”

“Love you too, Mads,” Tori replied, waiting until she saw Maddie get into the elevator before closing and locking her apartment door for the night.

She took a few deep breaths as she took off her shoes and placed her purse back onto the counter before making her way back down the hall, coming to a stop in front of her bedroom door. She raised her fist, holding it there for a few spare moments before knocking on the door. “Clara?”

Tori pressed her ear against the door, hearing her fan on the other side of the door blowing, but not a peep from Clara. She knocked again, keeping her ear against the door. “Clara, can you come out please? Or let me in?”

Still silence and Tori was starting to feel defeated as she exhaled and let her body fully lean against the door. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about the party. I…I didn’t even think about,” she paused, unsure of how to say the idea that maybe Clara would have some kind of reservations about Tori going to a party, without making it seem as if she wasn’t considering her feelings. “I’m sorry that I made you upset, that’s the last thing I ever want to do.”

“I sent Maddie and Kirill home, so it’s just gonna be me and you tonight.” She crossed her arms, focusing on the sounds from the other side of the door. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of hungry…so I think I’m gonna order a pizza. If you want some, just let me know.”

The one thing that she learned between her Dad and Clara’s therapist, was that she needed to let Clara come to terms with things on her own time. Not to force her to talk about it before she was ready or ignore it when the time came. If she had questions, then it was okay to answer them until Clara either started to look uncomfortable or stop asking questions altogether. So that’s what she was going to do, she held out her olive branch of a pizza offering and was going to sit in the living room and wait until Clara hopefully would leave the room and join her.

Tori had ordered the pizza on her phone and sat down onto the couch, leaning back into the warm material as she stared at the “are you still watching?” Netflix screen. It was only a few minutes after she placed the order for pizza when she heard her bedroom door open from down the hall, Clara appearing at the end of the hall a couple of seconds later.

“You still want to watch Julie and the Phantoms?” Tori asked, nodding towards the tv screen.

Clara nodded, keeping quiet as she slowly made her way over to the couch and sat down right beside Tori, immediately curling herself up against her side. “Why didn’t you go to the Christmas party?”

Tori shrugged, reaching up and brushing Clara’s hair back as she continued to play the show. “You were upset and I didn’t want to leave you behind,” she replied, looking down at her. “Besides, hanging out with you is a lot more fun than going to a fancy Christmas party.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Clara spoke softly, resting her head against Tori’s chest. “I just–”

“Sh, you don’t have to apologize, Clara,” Tori replied, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “I know.”

They sat there for a relaxed moment before Clara looked up at Tori, pouting. “But now you’re all dressed up and pretty…”

Tori smiled, sitting up straight. “How about we change over into some pj’s, then I can do your hair and make-up and after that, we’ll clean it all up and have a spa night like your mom and I used to have with our mom?”

Clara perked up and nodded, a smile on her face. “Okay!” She scrambled off of the couch and headed towards the hall. “Face masks too?”

“Of course,” Tori scoffed, standing up off of the couch and following behind her, holding onto the hand Clara had outstretched towards her. “We’ll go all out, I promise.”

And they did.

After changing into some comfortable pajamas, Tori rounded up all of the spa stuff she had available in her bathroom and they walked back out into living room area with spa and make-up stuff in hand. Just like when Clara was helping Tori get ready, she had picked out all of the colors she wanted to wear, and Tori would apply it. She opted for having her hair curled and once it came down to make-up. And to no surprise, Clara had handed Tori the golden eyeshadow she had picked out for her earlier in the evening, when Tori had asked what eyeshadow she wanted.

“With as knowledgeable as you are about make-up, I give it until you’re 12 to be better at it than me,” Tori joked, carefully applying the finishing touches on the eyeshadow. “I was never this good at make-up, I only learned a little in high school and then a little more in college.”

Clara kept her eyes closed as Tori shut the eyeshadow pallet and then grabbed the eyeliner. “I like watching youtube and tik toks,” she said, sitting still as Tori began applying the eyeliner. “Plus I really liked watching my mom do her make-up, she looked really pretty.”

Tori smiled softly, nodding her head even though Clara couldn’t see. “Your mom was always very pretty.”

Silence settled over as Tori carefully applied the eyeliner to Clara’s top lid before having her open her eyes so she could apply it to the waterline. Words were none even as she put the eyeliner down and then grabbed the mascara, even more carefully applying it so she didn’t accidentally poke Clara in the eye.

“All right, you’re all done,” she smiled, putting the mascara tube down and grabbing the make-up mirror that she’d brought out from the bathroom and held it in front of Clara. “What do you think?”

Clara scooted closer to the mirror, turning her face side to side as she even played with the curls of her chestnut colored hair. “Do I look like my mom?” She asked, looking up at Tori with a softened expression.

“I–“ a knock on the door interrupted Tori’s reply, signaling that hopefully the pizza was here. “That must be the pizza.”

Tori got up off of the floor and walked over to the front door, peeping through the peephole and seeing the pizza delivery man. She opened the door, making small conversation as she was handed the receipt to sign before finally wishing the delivery man a good night and taking the pizza, closing the door behind her and walking into the kitchen as Clara walked in. They grabbed some plates and each put two slices of pizza and a cheesy breadstick onto their plate before Clara took their plates into the living room while Tori grabbed them each a cup of water to drink.

When they settled back into the living room and sat on the floor, Tori noticed the small silence that was still there as Clara started to eat her pizza and focus on the Hannah Montana episode that was playing on Disney+. She knew it was most likely because she’d never gotten the answer to her question since the pizza had been delivered and so Tori put her pizza back down onto her plate and turned towards Clara.

“You do look like your mom,” she said, watching as her response took a few seconds before it sunk into Clara’s focus that she had said something.

“I do?” Clara asked, her bite of pizza still in her mouth as she quickly chewed it and swallowed. “Or are you just saying that?”

“No, you do,” Tori smiled, nodding her head. “You have her hair, especially now with the curls–“

“But we curled it…”

“Your mom’s hair didn’t get curlier until she was 14, before that, her hair was straight just like yours. You have her nose and her cheeks,” she smiled, scooting closer to Clara. “You have your dad’s eyes and his dimple, but your smile,” she reached out and gently poked right by the outside corner of Clara’s left eye. “You definitely have your mom’s smile, it reaches up into your eyes.”

Clara smiled and just like she said, for a moment, Tori could see a glimpse of Jess just in her smile alone. “Thanks Aunt Tori.” She sighed, picking her pizza up again. “I’m sorry for ruining your date with Kirill.”

Tori laughed, shaking her head. “It wasn’t really a date…I was just his date to the party is all. And besides,” she nudged Clara, smiling. “I think we’re having more fun doing this than I would at a party.”

“Even if it meant you couldn’t go on your date?” She frowned.

Tori nodded. “Even if it meant missing out on tonight. Besides, if Kirill has a problem with me canceling so I can spend more time with you, then he’s not worth it.” She picked up her pizza and looked at Clara. “Boys will come and go Clara, but family is forever.”

Clara smiled and picked her pizza back up to eat and Tori joined in, sneaking a glimpse at her phone to see that she still didn’t have any messages from Kirill. It’s not like she was expecting him to text her throughout the night, because it was, after all, a team Christmas party…but she was also hoping that her hypothetical ‘if he has a problem’ scenario wasn’t real. Because a big part of her, though she would deny it if asked, did care for Kirill.

And she hoped he felt the same way.

It’d been maybe an hour and a half into their night, the make-up was all washed away and the two of them were lounging on the couch in their face masks, complete with some chopped up cucumbers to snack on as they watched The Polar Express, one of their favorite Christmas movies they watched as kids. If it wasn’t so late, Tori might have suggested the two of them bundle up into a jacket and boots and wander down the street to get some ice cream. But, since tomorrow was their birthday, she figured that could be something she treated Clara to during the day.

Because right now, Clara was close to being ready to fall asleep and a sugar rush would only keep her up for a little bit longer.

“Who’s that?” Clara asked, looking towards the front door following the soft knock they heard. “Is Maddie coming back?”

“I’m not sure,” Tori said, getting up off of the couch and keeping her blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She walked over to the door, looking through the peephole and immediately stepping away. “Shit.”

“What? Who is it?”

“It’s Kirill,” she replied, reaching up and touching her dried clay mask. “And my face is completely purple…”

Clara jumped off of the couch and ran by Tori, nudging her out of the way and unlocking the door locks before swinging the door open. “Hi Kirill! Come in!”

“Hi,” he laughed, going along as Clara grabbed onto his coat jacket and tried to tug him in as best as she could. “What are…” he paused and looked between both girls as Clara shut the door. “What’s on your faces?”

“Face masks to help us look young,” Clara chimed in, pointing at the plastic bags he was carrying. “Whatcha got there?”

He looked down at the plastic bag and then held it up. “I brought ice cream.”

“But,” Tori paused, seeing that he was still dressed up in his suit. “What about the party? It doesn’t end for another two and a half hours.”

Kirill smiled and shrugged. “It wasn’t fun and Ryan said he’d tell everyone I wasn’t feeling good.”

“Does this mean we can have ice cream, Aunt Tori?” Clara gasped, turning towards her and grabbing onto her hand, pouting. “It’d make me feel so much better! Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty pleasseeeeee?”

“Yeah Tori, pretty please?” Kirill laughed, looking at her.

More than anything, she just wanted to wash the clay mask off of her face, even though it was looking like Kirill didn’t care that she was wearing it. “Okay,” she nodded, holding her blanket tighter. “We can have ice cream. We’ll just go wipe this stuff off our faces real quick and then–”

“No need!” Clara ran around the counter into the kitchen and grabbed the small stool Tori had for her, moving it in front of the sink and then turning the water on, vigorously rubbing her face with the water until the face mask was off.

Tori just sighed, grabbing a paper towel and ripping it, handing it to Clara. “Wipe around, you’ve got some flakes leftover.” She looked at Kirill and nodded. “I’ll be back.”

She swiftly made her way down the hall to her bedroom, walking in and going to the bathroom to wash the face mask off her face. She tried not to let her racing heart make her nervous at the fact that Kirill had left his own team’s Christmas party hours earlier, just to come by her apartment to make sure that they were okay. And he even brought ice cream. Those were two wins in her book and if she were to text Maddie and Kaia, no doubt in her mind that they would tease her and say that he’s definitely got feelings for her.

But she didn’t want that disappointment, because maybe he was just a friendly guy.

When she wiped her face dry, she walked back out and down the hall, seeing Kirill still standing at the counter, only now he was holding an ice cream scooper in his hand and looking at Clara for approval as he dropped a second scoop into the bowl. “Good?”

“Mm, one more.”

“No, two is good,” Tori laughed, shaking her head. “You need to sleep at some point tonight, because tomorrow is a big day.”

“Our birthday!” Clara smiled, looking at Kirill. “Are you guys coming to my party? It’s just Aunt Tori, Maddie and me right now.”

Kirill laughed as he handed over the bowl of ice cream. “I would love to come.”

“Sweet,” Clara smiled, grabbing her bowl before giving him a hug. “Thanks Kirill, you’re the best.”

She ran off before he could reply and Tori walked over, taking her place at the end of the island. “This was really nice of you to do,” she said, leaning against the counter. “I thought my spa night and pizza was good, but you really took the cake with this ice cream.”

“Took the cake?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed as he dropped a scoop of ice cream into her bowl.

“It means you won,” she smiled, nodding at the ice cream. “Plus, it’s like you have a radar in your head and knew I was craving something sweet.”

Kirill smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “I know you.”

It was a good day– a day to be celebrated in many ways.

It was Christmas Eve and then it was both Clara and Tori’s birthday. A bittersweet day, but also one that needed much celebration in it’s own right. When she woke up this morning, Clara was still fast asleep in the bed beside her, so Tori took the chance to get up and make a phone call to her dad– hoping it wasn’t too early in the morning for him.

The first thing he’d said when she answered, was wishing her and Clara both a happy birthday. And after the polite conversation and questions about how they were doing had come and gone, Tori had asked him the most important question for the day– “how did you do it?”

“How did I do what, Tori?”

“How did you make that first birthday after mom died, so special?”

There was silence on the phone before her dad sighed. “Well, I didn’t shy away from the topic if you wanted to talk about your mom. We did a lot of talking about her and past birthdays. We kept up with those traditions, and just made sure to include mom as much as we could.”

Tori was biting her long sleeve as she stared at the Christmas tree. “I’m just nervous I’ll ruin it,” she whispered, feeling the tears burn in her eyes. “You made that birthday and every one after that so special, even when deep down I was missing mom so much. I– I want to do that for Clara, I don’t want Jess and Steven’s death to overshadow her and make her hate her birthdays every year.”

“As long as you just talk about Jess and Steven when she wants to and you validate those feelings she has, you won’t ruin it, Tori. She loves you and you’ve got a way of making everyone feel special, especially on their birthdays. Just do things you’ll think she’ll enjoy or if she asks to do something, do that too.”

It was her dad’s advice that made her feel a lot less nervous going into the day. First up on the day, she’d made Clara a special breakfast– chocolate chip pancakes complete with whipped cream and some cut up strawberries– a birthday breakfast that their mom had made Tori and Jess every year on their birthday since they could remember. And it was a tradition that Tori knew Jess had kept up with, because when Clara finally woke up and joined her out in the living room, her eyes lit up when she saw the pancakes on the kitchen island– even if the smile wasn’t there.

Tori didn’t remember much about that first birthday without her mom, part of her thinks she probably blocked it out because it was too sad to think about, but watching Clara go through it, she probably experienced the same thing. The sniffles and tears while eating her breakfast, the smile on her face but one that didn’t reach her eyes as she opened the gift Tori’s dad had gotten her. The apologizing for feeling sad and the “it’s okay,” from Tori when she had apologized.

It felt like uncharted territory, even though she’d been in it before. The only thing that had even boosted her mood just a little bit, was when the four boys from down the hall stopped by to wish them both a happy birthday, even giving her some presents.

Kirill’s was the only one that Clara was actually interested in– maybe it was because it was from him or maybe because it was the only one that wasn’t personally signed Minnesota Wild merchandise. It was a Polly Pocket set, one that Tori wasn’t sure whether or not he just saw in a store and thought that she’d like it or if it was something he knew that she wanted. At least not until before they left, Tori had asked him how he knew what to get her and he said– “we're best friends, duh. She said she liked Polly Pockets, so I just went to the store and asked someone for help.”

Once the boys left, they just hung around the apartment, watching whatever Clara wanted to watch. It wasn’t until she started to feel a little antsy that Tori had asked what was wrong. Clara looked at her, a sad look on her face as she played with her hands and said, “I want to go see mommy and daddy…if that’s okay.”

Visiting the cemetery back in her hometown wasn’t exactly what Tori had on the birthday card for today, but she remembered what her dad said about being open to whatever Clara wanted to do and agreed. They had gotten dressed and left the apartment complex, getting to the garage and getting into her car before setting out for the drive back to Saint Paul. Christmas songs were on the radio, but that was the only sound in the car on their drive, especially once they neared the cemetery where her mom, Jess and Steven were all buried in the same section, but only plots away from each other.

They’d stopped at the store, buying some flowers before reaching the cemetery and once they parked off to the side, they got out and walked through the snow, trying their best to find the headstones. They’d found her mom’s first and Tori bent down and wiped off a few extra whisps of snow before placing the red poinsettias into the flowerpot. It wasn’t the first time since her mom had died that Tori had come to the cemetery, but each time was just as emotional as the first time after the funeral.

“Aunt Tori, can I go find mommy and daddy?” Clara asked, pointing just head. “I think they’re eight up.”

“Okay, just stay in view.” Tori nodded, watching as Clara walked just ahead in front of her. She took a deep breath and sighed, staring down at her mom’s engraved name. “I know you told us that even if you weren’t here anymore that you’d always be around…but I really hope that’s true because I feel like I’m out of my league.”

“I hope you’re with Jess and Steven up there, and I hope you guys are looking down at us and show up in times we need you. Dad’s doing good, Clara’s doing as good as you can expect her to…and I think I’m doing okay,” she replied, wiping her running nose. “You and Jess would be glad to know that I finally might’ve found someone I really like, though I’m not sure if the feelings are mutual. And I think you would’ve liked him, his name’s Kirill and he plays for the Wild. Jess has met him and she liked him, so I’m sure she’s told you all about him. He’s everything you always told us we deserved and needed to find in someone, one day.”

Tori laughed, shaking her head. “And honestly, I wouldn’t be all that surprised if you somehow sent him to me.” She looked up to see that Clara was squatting down towards the ground and knew she’d found where Jess and Steven were. “I miss you a lot, mom and I wish you were here all the time, but I know you are just like you said you would be. I love you and I’ll visit again soon, hug Jess and Steven for me.”

Tori quickly wiped her face and calmed herself down before walking away from her mom’s headstone and taking the short walk up to where Clara was at, not getting to close as to not want to interrupt Clara, wanting to give her privacy. When she stood up, Tori walked over and stood next to her, draping her arm over her shoulder. “You okay, Clara?”

Clara sniffled, wiping at her face and shaking her head. “I miss them,” she sobbed. “It’s not fair.”

Tori squatted down to her level and wrapped her in her arms, hugging her as she tried not to cry herself. “I know, I know,” she whispered, cupping the back of her head before leaning back. “But you know what my mom always told your mommy and I when we were little and she got really sick?”

Clara shook her head, sniffling again as she wiped at her nose. “No.”

“She told us, that even if she wasn’t here physically where we could see her and hug her,” she said, reaching up and wiping away the tear stains on Clara’s cheeks. “That she would always be right here in our hearts,” she reached down and patted Clara’s heart. “And that she would never, ever leave there.”

“Can I talk to her there too?” Clara asked, wiping at her face again.

“Always,” Tori whispered, holding onto Clara’s arms. “I was going to wait until tonight to give you this, but I think now might be better.”

“What is it?”

Tori reached into her jacket pocket, pulling out the small red gift box and lifting the lid and the small tissue paper from over it, revealing a small silver locket. “When you were born, your daddy bought this for your mommy. It says, ‘home is where the heart is’ on the front and on the back, it’s got all three of your guys initials,” Tori smiled, showing Clara both sides before opening the locket. “And then inside, they added this picture of the three of you smiling in the hospital room. See? There you are right there in your mommy’s arms.”

Clara leaned down, looking at the locket before looking up at Tori. “I was so small.”

“You were a few hours old,” Tori smiled, pointing to the empty side. “And then right here, if you want…we can add a picture of the three of you from that family photo session we all did together, yeah?”

“Yes please,” she nodded, wiping at her nose. “Can you put it on me?”

Tori nodded, taking the locket out of the box. “I figured you were old enough to have this now, that way you’ll always have your mommy and daddy to look at when you get a little sad and I’m not there to comfort you.”

Once she put the locket around her neck, Tori let it rest against her chest and Clara reached down and held it into her palm with a small smile before looking up at Tori. “I love it Aunt Tori and I love you.”

“I love you too, kiddo,” she smiled, hugging her again, this time just a little tighter.

It was hard trying to decipher whether or not Clara’s trembling lips and body were from her crying or from the harsh cold winter air. So they said one last goodbye to Jess and Steven, Tori saying her own goodbye in her head before they made their way back to their car, staying close to each other and holding hands. When they got back into the car, Tori turned around to make sure Clara was settled before offering her a small smile.

“How about we got get some hot chocolate from the cafe your grandma Clara used to always take your mom and I to when we were kids and we’ll talk about your mom and dad?” Tori suggested, unsure of how Clara would respond.

She sniffled again, wiping at her nose. “Do they have cake pops? Daddy loved cake pops.”

“They do,” Tori laughed, nodding her head. “We’ll get a cake pop too.”

They spent hours in that cafe, ordering hot chocolates and cake pops, nursing them as Tori told stories of Jess when they were younger and answered any questions about her mom and dad that Clara had. By the time it was time for them to start driving home so they could meet Maddie at the apartment for the small dinner and cake they were going to do for Clara, Clara was smiling for the first time that entire day– genuinely smiling.

It wasn’t until they got in the car that Tori saw she had a missed call from Kirill and a voicemail. And when she listened to it first, she smiled. “Kirill called, did you want to hear what he had to say?” She asked, looking over at Clara.

“Yes please!!!” Clara nodded, sitting eagerly in her car seat.

“Hey Tori, I just realized that I forgot to do something when I swung by earlier. I know it’s Clara’s birthday, so I wanted to wish her a happy birthday again and this time, do it the way we always did growing up.” He said something in his native Russian, probably something along the lines of happy birthday and then, the part that made Tori smile, he started to sing the simple tune of happy birthday– still in his native language.

“THAT WAS SO COOL!” Clara smiled, eyes wide. “Next time I see him I’m gonna ask him to teach me russian!”

Tori laughed, putting her phone down and starting her car. The only thing Clara didn’t know was that Tori had ended the voicemail seconds before he went on to say what he did after.

“I know it’s your birthday too, so I wanted to say happy birthday and I’m very happy I met you. You’re doing a great job, Tor.” And then he said something else in russian before translating it for her. “I am the happiest man on earth because I met you, bye.”

She didn’t need Clara teasing her until she was red in the face, but also, she knew that she would never get his voice out of her head– constantly replaying the compliment on their drive home.

The day had come and gone, the sun was set and all around Minnesota, Tori was sure parents had their kids all tucked into bed. But in their small bedroom apartment, Tori, Maddie and Clara were watching ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ like all the Christmas Eve’s before, snacking on some of the leftover cookies they’d made for Santa and just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Did you have a good birthday, kiddo?” Maddie asked, looking over Tori as Clara sat down on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket Maddie had gotten her that was a picture of Clara, Jess and Steven together from last Christmas.

“Yeah, one of the best,” Clara smiled, looking over her shoulder at them. “Thank you guys a lot.”

“You’re welcome, Clara,” Tori smiled, tucking her legs beneath her on the couch. “I’m glad you had a good day.”

“I feel bad though,” Clara frowned, holding the blanket around her. “It’s your birthday too, Aunt Tori and you didn’t get a cake to make a wish or anything.”

Tori smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “That’s okay, I got what I wanted and that was for you to have a good day. I know how hard those firsts can be when you lose someone important to you and all I wanted was to do for you what Grandpa did for me and your mom when we were younger. To make sure you could still have a good day, even if you were a little sad.”

Clara got up and walked over to the couch, leaning over and giving Tori a hug. “I love you Aunt Tori, you’re the best ever.”

“I love you too, Clara,” Tori replied, rubbing her back as she held onto the hug.

A knock on the door interrupted the hug and Clara jumped back, handing her blanket off to Tori. “I’ll get it!”

“What did we say about answering doors?” Tori laughed, holding the blanket in her lap.

“Yeah, Clara,” Maddie smiled, looking at Tori. “I wonder who that could be.”

Tori folded the blanket the best she could before getting up off of the couch, just as Clara opened the door. “GRANDPA!!!!!” Clara squealed, being lifted up moments after as Tori’s dad walked into the apartment, closing the door behind her.

“Dad?” Tori asked, eyes widening. “What are you doing here? I thought you were back with Grandma?”

“Oh no, she got tired of me hovering,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Her surgery went successful and she maybe lasted two days of me staying with her in her little apartment before she told me I needed to come home and be here with you guys. She’s got some good staff looking after her and I told her I’d be on the first flight out if she ever needed anything.”

Tori walked over with a smile, hugging him with one arm as he held Clara. “It’s good to have you here, we missed you.”

“I missed you guys too,” he said, kissing them each on the temple. “And happy birthday to you both. Hi Maddie.”

“Hi Mr. Holly, I’m glad you’re here,” she smiled, sitting up on the couch. “Though you’re not quite who I was expecting.”

Tori’s dad laughed. “If you’re talking about a certain Wild hockey player, he’s still hanging out in the hall. Looks a bit nervous if you ask me.”

“What?” Tori asked, looking at them as her dad put Clara down and Clara started to drag him over to where she had put her Christmas presents down.

“Oh yeah, he’s out there giving himself a pep talk, open the door if you don’t believe me,” her dad laughed, following behind Clara.

Staring at the closed door, she knew that Clara would’ve announced Kirill’s presence if he was out there. She practically adored him just as much as Tori did. But more of a point…why was he out there pacing in the hall? Tori opened the door and didn’t even need to look out into the hall, because there was Kirill, wearing a Christmas sweater and moving himself right into view of her apartment door.

“Kirill,” she said, still surprised even though she was told he was out here. “What are you doing?”

He brought his hands out from behind his back, holding an all too familiar pink bakery box from Tori’s favorite bakery down the street. “I wanted to give you this, it’s your birthday.”

She was speechless as he handed over the box to her and she lifted the lid, seeing her favorite three layered chocolate mousse cake she would always treat herself to a slice or two whenever she stopped by the bakery. On it, was white icing that was written in script that said– look up. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked up at Kirill to see him holding out a small plastic mistletoe decoration with nervous eyes. “What–”

“I know it’s probably lame,” he sighed, dropping his arm by his side. “But I didn’t know what else to do and it’s your birthday and I didn’t want to overlook that. But you’re one of my best friends out here and you’re beautiful and kind and you always make me laugh. I’ve been too nervous to tell you or do anything which is why the guys like to chirp me about you– but I do. I like you a lot, Tori. I like watching movies with you and Clara and ice skating and I’m not good with stuff like this but–”

Tori smiled, before closing the lid on the box and stepping forward, leaning up onto her toes and cupping the left side of his face with her right hand before leaning in and kissing him. She’d always been afraid of making that first move, too nervous about ruining their friendship. Even after they’d spent most of the family skate days earlier, holding hands– playful manor or not. But now, with the cake and his equally adorable rant…she knew that he had feelings for her too and nothing was going to stop her from doing what her hearts been wanting this entire time.

When she pulled away, he looked at her with wide eyes before smiling, holding up the mistletoe. “So it wasn’t cheesy? Because Ryan said it was cheesy and–”

“I loved it, it was very sweet,” she smiled, nodding her head. “Want to come in? We’re just watching a movie.”

He nodded, stuffing the plastic mistletoe into his pocket before walking into the apartment and then coming to a deadstop. She closed the door and turned around, her eyes going wide to see her dad, Clara and Maddie all standing there with smiles on their faces. “Oh…uh…”

“Really guys?” Tori sighed, feeling her cheeks grow hot.

“Took you a while huh, Kirill?” Maddie said, playfully shaking her head. “

He reached up and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, I just got nervous. Especially when you walked up, sir.”

“No need to be nervous, I’m a friendly guy,” her dad said, walking over and shaking his hand. “However, why don’t we go sit on the couch and talk about your intentions with my daughter, hm?”

“DAD!” Tori gasped, quickly ushering them away. “All of you go sit in the living room and I’ll cut up the cake.”

“CAKE?” Clara asked, eyes wide as she ran over and lifted the lid to the pink box. “You’ve gotta make your wish first, Aunt Tori!”

“Fine, fine, but you guys go in there and I’ll make my wish in here,” Tori said, as Maddie and her dad went back into the living room while her, Kirill and Clara were in the kitchen. Tori opened a drawer and grabbed the lighter, lighting the two candles.

“Make a wish, Aunt Tori,” Clara smiled, resting her arms on the counter and then her chin on her arms. “Even though I already know what you’re going to wish for.”

“You do?” Kirill asked, playing along.

“You do not,” Tori scoffed.

“Sure I do,” Clara smiled. “For Kirill to be your boyfriend.”

“I guess I did forget something after all,” he laughed, taking the plates from her as she grabbed a knife to cut the cake. “Is that something you want? Because–”

Tori just leaned in, kissing him again before pulling away with a smile, subtly nodding her head. “It’s a yes.”

“Okay, me too,” he nodded, blushing as he motioned towards her cake. “Make another wish.”

Tori blushed, tucking her chin into her chest as she smiled., looking around the room. She had her best friend in the entire world and her dad here, Clara was starting to look more like her old self even after the rough year that she’d been through…and the guy from down the hall she’d been crushing on for almost as long as she’s known him…had finally confirmed what her heart had been telling her all along– that he had liked her too. There wasn’t much more in the world that she could want, but maybe there was, and maybe it was just that she wanted Jess, Steven and her mom to know she was trying her best and she wanted them to be proud of her.

She closed her eyes, making the wish that she hoped all of this would stay– the happiness and the peace that her family had adapted after tragedy, her very new relationship with Kirill…there was nothing more in this world that she wanted than to see Clara’s smile and hear her laugh, or getting to feel Kirill’s hand in hers and experience the fireworks she had when they kissed. After savoring the moment, she blew out the candles and opened her eyes again.

There they were, Clara and Kirill. Clara with her big smile, the one that had the best of both Jess and Steven. And then there was Kirill, smiling just as big and looking at her with a kind of love in his eyes that made her heart patter against her chest.

“Best Christmas Eve and birthday ever.”

[secondgenerationnerd]

Mother’s Day

Enjoy ☺️

————

When Omega told their parents they had a surprise for Mother’s Day, none of them knew what to expect. Unpredictability being their children’s specialty, they are just as likely to walk into a screaming match as a dance party. But they trust them. They expect a brunch or party or even a supposedly friendly competition for best mother—undoubtedly leading to a fist fight.

What they don’t expect is home movies in the Manor’s viewing room. The teenagers had stocked up on their mothers favorite snacks and drinks, along with some gifts. The best one, though, is the memories filling the screen.

Two-year-old Jon Kent running around in Superman onesie, a red blanket tied around his neck. Five-year-old Lian headbanging in the kitchen with her parents. Four-year-old Milagro shrieking as Nine-year-old Jaime chases her through sprinklers. Eleven-year-old Damian’s soft look at his baby sister, whose giggles at his scowl, telling Selina that Helena wasn’t afraid of him. Six-year-old Jai and Irey delivering at TED talk about why dessert should be before dinner.

“Alright, who’s next?” Tim asks, with Helena, now five, hanging off his back.

“I am, Uncle Timmy.” Mar’i calls, settling back beside her father, “I sent you the video.”

Omega keeps chattering among themselves, ignoring the looks their parents send their ways. What on earth are these children up to?

Suddenly a warm laugh fills the room. For a second, they think it’s the resident princess, but the voice that follows isn’t hers. “Irt’cla, Bumgorf!”

On the screen, Queen Koriand’r appears on camera. From the bottles and makeup in view, she must have it set up on her vanity. Their breath catches as a little girl flies over. They know those dark curls, mischievous impossible green eyes, and bright smile, a near-perfect miniature of her mother. Their Mar’i, so much younger than they had ever seen, with an odd stuffed doll in her arms.

While they are undeniably speaking Tamaranean, someone had added English subtitles.

“Alright, my Star, how are we doing your hair?”

“Like yours, Mommy.” Little Mar’i looks up, almost questioning if that’s allowed. A gentle hand smoothes a stray curl back.

“I would be honored to match the birthday girl.” Kor’i teases, reaching for a spray bottle, “How old are you today?”

Brow furrowing, Mar’i holds up four tiny fingers. Kor’i gently pulls her thumb free, kissing her head, “Silly Star. You’re five today.”

“Oh….How old is Daddy now?”

Such a simple question shouldn’t feel like a gut punch. Kor’i’s brows furrow, just like her daughter, as she says, “He’d be about 29, almost 30.”

“Is that old for humans?”

There’s that laugh again. God, how long has it been since Dick heard it? Braiding the front section of curls, Kor’i shakes her head, “Hardly, though some think it is.”

“Like Uncle Roy? Or Uncle Wally?”

“They thought that about other people,” Kor’i says, not bothering to hide her smile, “You know Uncle Roy has a little girl, about a year older than you.”

“Lian…would we be friends?”

“Oh Star, you two would save the world or destroy it. Especially if you met Uncle Wally’s children.” A snort from Lian and the twins confirms that.

“Is Daddy like that? With Uncle Roy and Uncle Wally?”

“Oh, absolutely, but he has a very special talent,” Kor’i muses, “He has such a sweet face, no one could believe he was a troublemaker.”

“Like me!” Mar’i says. With a pang, so many notice how she smiles like her father. Kor’i pins part of her hair as she nods, laughing again. “Daddy can’t fly like us, but he a….a…aco-bat.”

“That’s right, Star, an acrobat.” Kor’i gently combs another section, “You have a lot of Daddy questions today, huh?”

Little Mar’i nods. Present day Mar’i rests her head on her father’s shoulder. Kor’i scoops more cream into her hands, smoothing flyaways in the braid, “Remind me what Daddy’s name is?”

“Richard Grayson.” Little Mar’i says it slowly, like the words don’t quite fit in her mouth, “Everyone calls him Dick.”

“That’s right, sweet girl. Dick Grayson is your daddy. So, if we were on earth, your name would be….?”

“Mar’i Grayson.”

Kor’i holds a hand to her heart, pretending to be emotional, “Such a smart star I have. How’d you get that way?”

“K’norfka.” Little Mar’i squeals as her mother tickles her neck. The sweet scene makes their hearts ache. This was Mar’i’s childhood. Granted, she’d told them about the princess lessons and training to control her powers. But she had this too—a mother taking time from ruling to shower her affection, to tease her, to make her feel beautiful and smart and seen.

“If you’re so smart,” Kor’i teases as she stops the tickles, “Can you tell me why Daddy is on Earth?”

Dick tenses in his seat, no doubt scared of the little girl’s answer. The adults all had some vague details, but they all know letting Kor’i go is one of his biggest regrets.

“Because you both didn’t know I was in your belly.” Mar’i chirps, “You kept me and didn’t tell him just yet.”

“Why would I do that?” Kor’i asks, a bit of sadness in her eyes, though she doesn’t let her daughter see.

“Because Daddy spent a long time protecting other people, he didn’t take care of himself.”

“That’s right.” Gently tilting her daughters head up, Kor’i brushes her thumb over Mar’i’s cheek, “I made that choice, baby, not him. He’s figuring things out for himself. But don’t you think for one second you aren’t wanted or loved.”

“I know. You and K’norfka tell me all the time.”

“Love isn’t just words. It’s action. If someone says they love you, but their actions always hurt, that’s not love.” Kor’i says, twisting her daughters hair up, “When you find people who show you their love, you hold on tight. Okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Alright.” Kor’i has her stand in the chair, hugging her from behind. “All done, my Shining Star. Ready for our power words?”

Even at five years old, Mar’i straightens up, looking at her reflection. “Ready.”

“I am Mar’i.”

“I am Mar’i.”

Kor’i smiles with pride as Mar’i repeats her. “I come from warriors, their strength and bravery is in me. I am allowed to take up space and use my voice. I have a clever mind and kind heart. I deserve love for who I am, not what I can do. I am enough for the people that matter.”

Several throats close, tears rolling down faces. Dick squeezes his daughter’s hand. She should be crying, but she just smiles softly at the screen. How many times has she watched this video? Or repeated those words to herself?

“Oh! I forgot one!” Kor’i’s eyes twinkle with mischief as Mar’i frowns. Then the little girl shrieks with laughter as she’s attacked with tickles and kisses, “You are trouble, trouble, trouble!”

Mar’i wiggles free from her mother’s grasp. As she flies off screen, still giggling, Kor’i reaches for the screen. Softly, like she’s mostly talking to herself, Kor’i says, “Oh, my Silly Star. I named you perfectly.”

The video ends, Kor’i’s smiling face frozen on the screen. It’s quiet for a moment. Then Lian’s voice rings out, “Omega, all in favor of previewing Mar’i’s shit moving forward?”

“Aye.” Comes from the other six members, including Mar’i’s boyfriend.

“Motion passed—“

“On what grounds!” Mar’i scoffs. Lian gives her friend an incredulous look.

“You should be crying your eyes out. Yet you’re not. So you obviously watched this video multiple times in preparation. Like the sadist you are.”

“Mmmm in this context wouldn’t masochist—“

“Knowing you? You’re both, princess. But,” Lian gestures to the screen, “Not hard to see where you get the confidence from.”

“That’s still not grounds to pass a vote—“

“Get one person to agree with you, we will drop the vote.”

A wicked grin spreads across Mar’i’s face, “Oh, Jonny—“

Omega whips around at the youngest Super. Pointing a finger at him, looking eerily like her mother, Irey hisses, “Jonathan, If you can’t be strong, be silent.”

Normally Jon would not respond. However the look he gets reminds them of who’s son he is. Leaning forward in his chair, he says, “You wanna check that tone, Iris?”

“You wanna check these hands—“

“Easy, sweetheart,” Linda puts a hand on her daughters shoulder, “Let’s get one day without a fist fight.”

“Or heat vision.” Lois agrees, shooting her son a look.

“Really any explosions, fires, fighting, random stabbing,” Bianca nods. Her children had, smartly, stayed quiet.

“Or pickpocketing, Helena Claire.” Selina calls. Huffing, the little girl starts handing her brothers their stuff back. “Now! Who’s next?”

[otter1962crystalball]

Why Did God Make Them That Way?

June 3, 2024

Welcome to day three of Pride. As I celebrate, I am thinking of how past events shaped my belief in who I was and who I would become as an adult. As I look back, I realize what happened did indeed affect my outlook on life.

I was five when I went to kindergarten. I was also a December child, so I was the youngest in the class as I started while I was four and then turned five. There are many memories from that time that were very happy - Like the day I learned to tie my shoelaces. I can remember skipping to the truck at noon to go home. I was so excited to show Mom what I had learned. I can also recall towel time when we would lie down and have a little snooze as well. The first day of school, however, the teacher said to take our towels and lie down for a nap. I began to cry loudly because Mom had forgotten to supply me with one. The teacher must have found a towel for me but the sensitivity never left me of feeling like I was missing something. I also discovered that I loved to sing, dance and play. Why shouldn’t I? All the children around me did the same.

My first experience where I felt something towards other boys was in the little changeroom we had for gym. I can recall seeing the other boys’ penises and feeling a sense of fascination that I would never understand until much later. I didn’t have the language to describe what I was feeling, but didn’t have a sense that there was something “wrong” with it - that didn’t come until I was ten or eleven.

It is still clear as day. My parents were watching some news program on television. There was a man interviewing a group of homosexual men and what it was like to be one. By this time, I had heard of the word homosexual and a couple of derogatory terms as well. To the young, sensitive man I was - those bad terms and what happened next changed my life forever. As my parents watched the program, my mother spoke out loud to no one in particular. She said, “I don’t know why God would make them that way?” I sat there, processing what she had said. Mother was surely indicating that she didn’t approve of who these men were. They had to be bad and immoral people. What I do know for sure is that she never realized how that simple sentence changed my life. I now knew that I was like those men - why did God make me this way?

It was definitely something to be hidden and kept secret. About the same time as the television event, I discovered that one of the neighbourhood boys decided to drop his pants in my bedroom and show me his penis. Of course, I did as well and I don’t need to go into the details of what happened. All I knew was that it excited me but also made me feel very shameful.

This continued to occur off and on for several years into my adolescence. I think my parents must have guessed what was going on. One day, the neighbourhood boy was to no longer welcome in our home. They said he was a bad influence. There you go; another message that I was a bad and immoral person. What I didn’t understand was that my urges were a lot stronger than my shame and guilt. Fantasies about grown men popped into my head and I dreamed about what it would be like to be with a man. I’d later hate myself for feeling them and often asked myself what Captain Kirk would say if he knew of what I was dreaming…

One day, I discovered the Toronto Star classifieds. To my amazement there were columns for people seeking companions. The ad would go something like, “Man seeking same. No fats, fems, discreet meeting. P.O. Box XXXX, Toronto Star Classifieds.” Every Saturday became a ritual for me. Instead of fighting over the comics, I began taking the classifieds, leaving the comics to my younger brother or sister. In a corner, I would look down the classifieds and find them - Man seeking Same. One day, I actually acted - I wrote a letter to one of the ads. I believe that I was 16 at the time. A week later a letter arrived for me via my very curious mother arriving from the mailbox. She questioned me about the letter. I lied and said it was from one of the girls in my classroom. Needless to say, the letter was from a 35 year old man who was interested in meeting.

I was elated! We actually talked on the phone, after my family had gone to bed. I always called him collect so not to leave a charge on our telephone bill. We finally decided that we should meet. He knew the town where I lived and said we could meet outside of town. I concocted a story to let him know who I was - I would be on a certain corner of the country highway, at a certain time, “fixing” my bike. So there I was, “fixing” my bike when a car pulled up. It was him. I hid my bike in the woods next to the highway and climbed into his car. We went for lunch in a larger town west of my town. We then discussed what to do next. We travelled back along the highway until we came to a provincial park. He turned in there and we parked and walked into the woods. We found a spot and I sat down and had my first experience with a man. There was no penetration, but you get the picture. He had said he wished he could get me into a real bed. I should point out that I had never been with a grown man before and that I was underage and that he could have been charged.

With the deed done, he drove me back to my bike and I went home with his message that we would meet again. As I rode, I thought about what had happened. It wasn’t that good of a time for me. I pondered if that’s how it would always go. I never saw the man again. I called once and a woman answered so I hung up. What was the culmination of this particular act? Quite plainly: a bad case of poison ivy! I had unknowingly sat in a bunch of it! I could tell my mother about the rashes on my arms, but definitely not the ones running up my buttocks and thighs. I had to suffer in silence. I can now laugh a little about that…

As I write this, I am recalling the shame and guilt over what I had done. Even now, I feel a bit embarrassed about it! I realize that it is the old guilt trip that my inner voice so expertly communicating my old way of thinking.

So how does this story relate to Pride for me? These events, along with many others, shaped who I became as a person. For a large part of my life, they were horrible memories, were my fault and that I deserved them. In my first day blog, I wrote about no longer being ashamed of the sex that I have. I discovered after the poison ivy incident that sex could actually be an amazing thing to experience. Those stories, however, are for another day…

I celebrate my gay male status and the sex that I have with other men. I no longer hold shame for it and I think about the many people of our community have probably felt that way in the past. So, I am celebrating Pride and acknowledging that sex is wonderful, amazing and guilt free! God made me this way and I’m not a mistake! I can also sing, dance and play. Why shouldn’t I? Everyone else is doing it too! 

Carpe diem, everyone.

[messers-moony]

King and Queen | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Fem!Potter!Reader, James Potter X Fem!Twin!Reader

Summary: James goes through a lot during his time at Hogwarts but his sister is always by his side.

Inspiration: Click

A/N: If this comes off insensitive to anyone please let me know and I will remove this.

James Potter was a handful. From the minute he was born, he had this gleam in his hazel eyes that raged and burned with trouble. His twin, Y/n Potter, was almost the opposite. The soft smile that laid on her features and the glitter of calamity in her eyes. Euphemia and Fleamont were in for a lot the minute their twins were born. 

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is most comparative to having a web browser up with one too many tabs. James had always been unable to focus and was naturally messy. Truth be told, he thought it was normal, just as everyone else did. It wasn’t until his second year at Hogwarts did he realize something was genuinely wrong with him. 

Remus told him that he had this muggle thing called “dyslexia,” which was a difficulty in interpreting words, letters, and other symbols. However, it never affected his overall intelligence because everyone knew that Remus Lupin was indeed and wholly brilliant. It got James wondering, did his inability to focus, be organized, and hyperactivity have a deeper meaning?

His twin - Y/n - was quite the opposite. She made quick friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who were close friends of her twin. Y/n was top of their class, creating a friendly competition with Remus, but she was always able to focus. Often she would hyper-focus, which would leave her working for over five hours at a time without realizing it. In those times, James would have to snap her out of it. 

Over the summer, James expressed his concerns to his parents. He was talking about how this could be a real issue he’s facing using Remus’ dyslexia as an example. Eventually, they gave in, letting James go to a muggle doctor. James had to fill out a questionnaire that would come back with his results in one week. That week was probably the longest week of his life. Nonetheless, his test results had come back positive. 

Fleamont and Euphemia would be lying if they were surprised. After hearing about the disorder, it was almost the definition of their eldest son. Fortunately for James, the muggles had come up with a cure - no, not a cure - dammit, what was it again?

Impede the symptoms! That’s what those muggle pills do. James was required to take two pills a day, one in the morning and once at night. Y/n was in charge of making sure he did so because - more times than he’d like to admit - he would forget everything if it wasn’t for Y/n. 

In third year, James was as energetic as ever while getting on the Hogwarts Express, “Aren’t you excited, Y/n?!”

She chuckled, “Yes, but Merlin, you don’t need to literally jump with joy.”

“But I’m excited!”

“I know that.”

They made their way to the compartment that held Remus, who was reading a book. James sat in front of him while Y/n took her seat beside Remus, “‘Ello Remus.”

“Hey, Potter pair.”

Y/n sighed, and James groaned, “That nickname needs to go away.”

“I quite like it.” Remus stated smugly, “Suits you both.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Y/n accused falsely, “It means that wherever one of you are, the other isn’t that far behind.” Remus replied. 

James had zoned out already, and Y/n snapped in his face, “Take your pills?” 

“Forgot.” James muttered guiltily, “Oh Godric.” She whispered. 

“Pills?”

“James went to a muggle doctor this summer.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow, “Did you now?”

“Got diagnosed with ADHD.” James informed, and Remus looked amiss, “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that.” Remus said, and James smiled sheepishly, “I feel kinda odd, like out of place.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, just, why can't I be normal?”

“You are normal, James.” Y/n reassured, “And anyone who says differently obviously doesn’t care about you.”

The compartment door slammed open, “Who doesn’t care about who?”

Remus snorted, “Ever the dramatics, huh, mate?”

“‘Course.” Sirius flopped down beside James, “It comes with my charm and devilishly good looks.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/n said, chuckling, “Don’t you see how I’m swooning for you?”

The back of her palm was against her forehead, “Come off it.” James swatted at her and then elbowed Sirius, “Better not make my sister swoon.”

Sirius chuckled and shrugged, “Can’t help it. I’m just that irresistible.”

The four of them laughed at Sirius’ dramatics and continued talking about the new term. Remus and Y/n were talking about books they couldn’t wait to read. Remus was even kind enough to gift her some muggle books he bought over the summer holiday. Sirius and James bickered about what pranks to do this year, along with which ones were better. 

Third-year was fun. It was a year of flooding corridors, turning Slytherin robes red and blasting music in the common room after a Gryffindor victory. James was a brilliant Quidditch Chaser, and Y/n was a fantastic Seeker. Nothing was quite like the Potter pair. Something about them was just unforgettable. 

Maybe that’s why Sirius was so fond of her. Something about the Potters made people around them smile on the hardest of days. They made sure that every moment was a night to remember. Every memory was worth reliving. So adventurous, so reckless, yet so kind and loving. 

By the time fifth year rolled around, Sirius Orion Black had fallen off a cliff into a lake called love. Sirius completely submerged himself in love for Y/n Potter. The younger twin by just 20 minutes, but something about her was so divine. Was it her silk and glittering h/c hair? No - maybe it was her gleaming e/c eyes. Perhaps it was for her strive for adventure and extreme kindness. 

Nonetheless, Sirius fell hard.

And who better to tell than James Potter himself?

Causally - as usual - Sirius opened the door to the Marauders dorm. It was empty aside from the brunet boy with glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes were focused on a textbook - Potions textbook - maybe it was to impress Lily. Sirius couldn’t care less, so he pulled the chair out in front of the desk and sat before James. 

“Mate, I need your help.”

“Running from Filch?”

“No. Something- Something worse.”

“Something worse?” The textbook shut loudly.

Sirius nodded, “Way worse.”

“Alright then, come into my office.” James teased, and Sirius grinned. 

It was silent, “I’m in love with your sister.”

James sputtered, “Excuse me?”

“I’m in love with Y/n.”

“No, no.” James waved his hand horizontally, “I heard you.”

“Then what else would you like me to say?” Sirius asked. 

“Literally anything else.”

“Sorry, mate.” Sirius muttered, “I- I really didn’t mean to.”

James chuckled and wiped his hand across his face, “I suppose you can’t really stop love, huh?”

“You really can’t.” Sirius agreed, “I tried. I promise I tried.”

“It’s not that big of a deal late.” James assured, and Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, “I trust you just-“

“Just?”

“I’m worried about her.” James completed, “I- I worry about her every night.”

Sirius softened, “It’s like you with Regulus-“ James continued before Sirius could interject, “And don’t pretend. Your silencing charms are bloody terrible.”

“I know you still care for Regulus, you worry about him every night, and I do the same for Y/n, except my silencing charms are better.” James teased sightly, “I trust you, Sirius. You’re the brother I never got but always wanted. You know, the brother I can play Quidditch with, rough around with, the brother who’s just as sneaky and mischievous as I.”

“But Y/n is still my blood. She's my twin, my best friend, my partner in crime. She was the mind behind my pranks before Remus.” James elaborated and then smirked, “Remus and Y/n make a great team, ya’ know?”

“They are quite brilliant.”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, take care of her?” James looked like the eleven-year-old boy again, “Don’t make her a fling and don’t make this temporary.”

“Y/n is a strong woman, and she isn’t for weak men. I’ll be honest,” James chuckled, “She doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even really need me. I need her more than she needs me. Regardless, take care of her. She deserves a man worthy of her. Someone that’ll get her ice cream at 4 a.m. because she’s craving it. Someone that’ll go on sporadic trips with her. Someone that’ll understand that after a hard day, all she wants is a book and coffee.”

Sirius was appalled; he’d never seen James look so passionate, “Growing up, mum always told me to be a gentleman. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but she always raised me as one. To hold a door for them, push and push in their chairs for them, give them my jacket even if I’ll freeze.” 

“Those kinda things. Dad said I should practice on Y/n, and I did. From then, Y/n always got treated like a queen, and she deserves no less. I won't lie, my parents treat me like a king too, and I don’t want any less either.” James explained, “Be the king that’s worthy of my sister.”

“That’s all I ask of you.”

Sirius nodded, “I’d be honored to serve her as my queen.”

“And if you show her no less, she’ll spit you out like chewing gum.”

He shuttered, “I hate how accurate that phrase is.”

James laughed, “I know her more than you think.”

By sixth year they were dating. Sirius would be lying if he wasn’t eternally shitting himself when Y/n said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him, alone, as a date. In fact, James almost wanted to throw him a party for finally not being a little bitch and asking out his sister. This party consisted of a bottle of firewhiskey and chocolate because that’s all that was in the boy's dormitory. But a party nonetheless. 

When Lily rejected James for the last time before graduation, he was utterly heartbroken. He’d spent and dedicated seven years of his life to this gorgeous woman. Despite all his efforts and all his charms, she still wasn’t interested. James tried. He really tried. He wanted Lily so bad. His heart broke when she said her final words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Maybe in another life, just not this one.”

Tears had ebbed at the corner of his eyes as he made his way back into the castle from the Black Lake. In the common room, where he felt like he had just got dowsed in water. James made his way to the girl's dormitory. His hand curled into a fist and knocked lightly on the wooden door. Shuffling was heard from the other side, and the door finally opened, revealing his sister. 

Without warning, James crashed into her arms, forcing his nose in the crook of her neck, “Woah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

His body shook with sobs as he shook his head no, “It’s okay. Let’s go lay down, okay?”

Gently she led him to her bed. He curled up beneath the navy blue comforter and placed his head on the silk pillow sheets. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the way Lily’s hair smelt today or the way her green eyes glistened in the sun. Now engulfed in his sister's scent, trying to remove every feeling for Lily possible, he dug his nose deeper into the comforter. 

Y/n sat beside him, her back to the headboard, and ran her fingers through James’ already untied hair, “What's got you so worked up?”

“It’s done.”

“What’s done?”

“L- Lily and I.” James choked, “She- She really doesn’t want me.”

A new wave of tears overcame him, and Y/n continued to try and soothe him, “Well, she’s a tosser.”

James narrowed his eyes, “James, you know I love her. She's my best friend, but if she can’t see what’s right in front of her, then she’s an idiot.”

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay at your dorm?” Y/n questioned, “Because you know who sleeps here.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Till the end.”

After a couple of minutes, Y/n and James made their way down the steps to the boy's side. They walked up more steps and finally made it to the boy's dormitory. James collapsed on his bed in the left corner of the room, and Sirius perked up at seeing his girlfriend enter the room. 

“Whatcha doin’ here, love?”

“Staying with my brother.”

Sirius nodded and stood up to hug her, gently pecking her forehead, “If you guys need anything, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Siri.” 

Gently Y/n pulled back the maroon curtain and sat down beside him again. James reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Something they used to do as kids. When a thunderstorm would go by, James would always seek sanctuary in his sister's comfort. 

He fell asleep that night, knowing he was safe, loved, and knew that someone cared about him. Even if Lily didn’t love him, at least someone else did. He had his boys, and he had his sister. Right now, that’s all he needed beside him: Screw Lily and her idiot decision skills. Y/n was right; she was a complete tosser. 

When Hogwarts was over, James and Y/n got a flat together. Sirius, Remus, and Peter got one only a floor above. Realistically this wasn’t the plan. James always planned to buy a house with Lily, but he was still healing, and after everything going on, it was vital for him to hold his sister close to him.

Euphemia and Fleamont barely lived to see their children graduate. Not too long afterward had died due to the horrid dragon pocks. It devastated both twins and Sirius. While Sirius wasn’t their true child, he very well could’ve. Euphemia noticed Sirius’s lingering stares on Y/n and the loopy smile that graced his features.

She was the one who got Sirius to man up. She was the one who gave him advice. She was the one who told him what books were her favorite, which chocolate she liked the best, her favorite quills. Euphemia was one of the main components in getting Sirius to date her daughter, and when it finally happened, the parents couldn’t have been happier.

James’ ADHD still remained even in his adulthood, making regular everyday tasks much harder and twice as long. Most of the time, the pills were able to help him complete those tasks. But sometimes, when Y/n wasn’t there to remind him, he would miss his days. When Y/n got home from work, she had barely taken off her shoes to see the apartment spotless.

It was a pleasant surprise, but James was never really one to clean, not that she really minded, but the apartment didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Hesitantly she put her keys on the island along with her bag.

“James!”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He appeared in the kitchen where Y/n was, “Um, did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, I did!” James nodded enthusiastically.

Y/n sighed and gave her brother a sweet smile, “What did you not do today?”

“So, you know how you told me to go to the pharmacy?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Indeed I do.”

“Well, they were out of my meds.” James informed, “I have to wait a week.”

“Oh, Merlin.”

“On the bright side!” James was already causing her a headache, “It’s gonna be a fantastic week! I’ve got so many things planned for us! We’re gonna go-“

James continued to ramble as Y/n grabbed her keys, bag and slipped back on her shoes, “I’m going to Sirius’!”

“Thought you were my sister.” James faked pouting, and Y/n smiled, “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“I love you too!” He yelled as she closed the door.

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 28: Summer Changes (School)

AO3

Prev

A week after the Disney movie marathon, Marinette was finally back on patrol. No thanks to her dad though. If it was up to him, she’d probably never patrol again. Luckily for her, (unluckily for him) her brothers were adamant on her coming back to the field. Which led to her current problem. Hanging upside down from a gargoyle near Wayne Enterprises.

“Ukht, what have you done?” Damian asks, and though she can’t see his face, she can tell by his voice that he’s exasperated. Join the club, she thinks, at least you’re not upside down.

“Why do you automatically think I did something?” She asks, trying desperately to turn around so that she can talk to him. It was really awkward talking to someone when you couldn’t see them but you knew they were near you.

“Because you are the one hanging upside down,” Damian says flatly. She huffs.

“It’s not like I want to be, Robin. It just kind of happened,” She says.

“And how exactly did it happen? I have never seen your yoyo betray you like that before. Not even in the videos when you were still very new.” Damian says, and she swears he’s smirking. He’s definitely laughing at her on the inside, and as much as she wants to be frustrated, she can’t. It wasn’t easy amusing her little brother (unless you were an animal) so she wasn’t about to ruin it.

“Hood made a bet relating to this exact gargoyle and I’d never been this way before and I just, I don’t know. Somehow I misjudged where my yoyo was going and next thing I know, I’m tied up and Hood is gone.” She says, sighing.

“Where did he go?” Damian asks.

“Over here so I could record the dumbass trying to untie herself.” Jason says with a snort, she manages to turn just enough so she can see him and stick her tongue out at him. He chuckles. “You’re the one who somehow tied herself up with a magic string, I’m just getting the proof so I can show Wonder Woman.” He says and Marinette’s jaw drops.

“You wouldn’t dare!” She screams, struggling against her yoyo, finally able to get the string to loosen slightly.

“Oh, I’d dare.” Jason says and Marinette just knows he has a huge smirk underneath his stupid helmet.

“But Wonder Woman is the coolest person ever and she can’t see me like this!” Marinette complains, trying not to grin when she feels the string start to move the way she needs it to. She ignores Jason’s next remark, instead focusing on the string and- yes! She free falls for a moment, laughing at her brothers’ panic before she swoops up and jerks Jason’s phone away from him.

“You little shit!” He calls after her, starting to chase her.

“You’ll get it back once I delete the videos!” She calls back, laughing as she continues swinging through Gotham, a warm feeling in her chest as she looks over the city that has quickly become her second home.

---

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” A voice screams, making Marinette jump out of bed with a yelp. She clutches her hand over her heart, glaring at her oldest brother.

“Are you trying to make sure I don’t make it past my fifteenth birthday?” She asks with a huff. Dick just grins.

“Happy birthday kiddo! I can’t believe you’re already fifteen!” He exclaims, picking her up in a giant hug. She wants to complain, ask him to let her down, but it’s nice, so instead she returns the hug the best she can. Until she glances out the window.

“Richard Grayson.” She says in a tone she usually reserves for enemies. She feels him stiffen, the hug turning into more of a restraint than a cuddle.

“Yes?” He says.

“Did you honestly wake me up, before the sun, because it’s my birthday?” She asks.

“Yes?” He says, his voice cracking slightly. She purses her lips and lets out a long sigh.

“Dad has a no killing rule.” She says, and suddenly she’s back on the ground.

“Oh would you look at the time, Mar’i needs another bedtime story loveyousomuchgottagobye.” Dick rushes out, practically sprinting out of her room. She just smiles and shakes her head. She’d learned intimidation tactics from Jason and Damian, who both claimed her size made her an easy target against bad guys. They were right, of course, so she was fine with a few extra lessons. Seems they were working. Deciding to call her Maman and Papa since she’s already awake, she frowns as it goes straight to voicemail. It would be nearly eleven in Paris, so the bakery shouldn’t be too busy. She quickly checks the Akuma Alert App to make sure she hadn’t missed anything while she slept. Nothing. So why weren’t they answering? She had assumed they would be waiting for her call since it was the first birthday she’d spent without them. Sighing, she lays back down on her bed, closing her eyes and trying to fall back asleep.

As she lays there, she frowns as a realization hits her. This was the anniversary of her birth mother’s death. Her mood instantly sours and her stomach churns. It was the first year that she could do something about it, the first year she could visit her grave. Quickly making a decision, Marinette throws on a pair of black leggings and an oversized black hoodie. Hopefully no one would spot her.

“Kaalki.” Marinette calls out quietly, not wanting to wake Tikki (who had somehow slept through Dick’s intrusion).

“Oooo, Guardian, are we sneaking out?” They ask, an amused smile on their face. Marinette frowns.

“Yes, but it’s for a good reason.” She says, and Kaalki snorts.

“Whatever the reason, I’m happy to be of assistance.” They reassure her. Marinette smiles and calls the transformation, opening a portal in the cemetery where her birth mother is buried. Her Maman had taken her once, right after telling her she was adopted. It was extremely hard to avoid being akumatized that day, and Marinette steels herself before dropping Kaalki’s transformation. Today would probably be even harder. Pulling the hood over her head to try and hide her identity, she glances around the cemetery, unsurprised to see the small place empty. Despite its small size, it was well taken care of, with beautiful trees adding shade and creating a melancholy feeling. Taking a deep breath, she walks over to the tombstone in the far corner, underneath the Willow tree. Bridgette Le. Died July 9th. Marinette barely notices the tears that start to form as she sits down, tucking her knees into her chest.

“Hi Mama. I-I’m sorry I haven’t really been by to see you much. Did you know I’ve been spending the summer with Dad? Sometimes, I wonder if you would’ve been okay with that. None of us really know why you left, why you didn’t tell him. I’m not blaming you, I just wonder if you would’ve been okay with me knowing him.” She talks, though she knows she’ll never hear a response. And she tries to pretend that fact doesn’t hurt her. “I have brothers. Four of them. They’re all great in their own ways, but they all also make me want to rip my hair out. Three of them are older, Damian’s younger than me. He kinda acts like a big brother at times though. And I have a big sister, Cass. She doesn’t say much, but she’s awesome. She’s in Hong Kong right now, so most of our conversations have been video calls. I have a niece, too.” Marinette stops, wiping furiously at her eyes. She didn't want to cry. At all. But knowing her birth mother would never be able to be part of her life, would never know any of these people like she did- it was hard.

“Guardian, please breathe.” Kaalki says, floating up to sit in front of Marinette’s face. Marinette blinks at the Kwami before listening to them. If they were worried, then Marinette was more lost in her head than she originally thought.

“And today’s my birthday. I was excited at first, and then I remembered the other thing that this day was. Remembered that it’s also the day you-” Marinette pauses, and grits her teeth. “I am so sorry, Mama. I am so sorry that I caused your death.” She chokes out, dropping her head onto her knees, trying to suppress the sobs threatening to break out of her chest.

“We need to go. Marinette, we need to go.” Kaalki urges, patting her cheek urgently. Marinette calls the transformation and falls through a portal, closing it quickly to keep the butterfly that was surely after her from following. She definitely didn’t need to test how far the victim had to be to be akumatized. The second she lands, she lets the transformation drop and the sobs break out.

“Shit Pixie.” Jason curses, and suddenly she’s wrapped in a warm hug, sobs tearing through her as she continues to apologize.

---

Jason Todd had been through a lot of weird shit. Waking up in a pool of green water after being fucking murdered by the Joker, was weird. Emotional baby sister falling through a portal into the room and sobbing? Also weird. But also heartbreaking. He grabs onto her and just holds her, desperately trying to give her some type of comfort.

“Shhhh, it’s okay Pix. I got you.” He mumbles, holding her close. Damian rushes in, sword drawn, face scrunched up when he sees them. Jason shakes his head, this wasn’t something that they could fix with a sword. He wasn’t exactly sure why his baby sister was crying so hard, but he had caught a couple of muffled apologies, so whatever it was, he didn’t think it was something that he (or Damian) could kill. Or, rather, maim, since she was against murdering people that were against her for some reason.

“Has anyone seen Mars, she’s not in her room-” Replacement starts, freezing as he walks into the room.

“Excellent situational awareness, Drake.” Damian mutters, glaring at him. Jason shoots both of them a glare, now was not the time to be fighting. Especially since the kid’s other parents were on their way to celebrate her birthday. If they showed up and she was sobbing, they’d take her home and never let them see her again. And Jason was NOT going to let that happen.

“Anyone know if M’s decided to not kill me yet?” Dick asks, walking into the room with a huge grin that falls the second he sees what’s happening. Jason resists the urge to roll his eyes. Apparently none of his brothers could read a fucking room. Instead of staying at the edge of the room like Damian and Tim, Dick walks over.

“Hey kiddo, it’s okay. We’re here.” He says softly. The kid pulls away from him, though he can tell it’s a little reluctantly, before launching herself at Dick, her sobs starting to die down. Jason lets out a short huff, running his fingers through his hair as he tries to think of what could have set her off. There were no akuma alarms, but she fell out of a portal. Which means she was out of the manor when she got upset. He watches as Dick pats her hair gently and whispers to her. God, he’s such a dad. Then again, he’s been mother henning him and their other brothers for years, so it’s not really a surprise.

“I’m sorry guys.” Marinette says suddenly, her voice small as she stays hidden in Dick’s arms.

“No need to apologize, Pixie Pop.” Jason reassures her. She finally pulls away from Dick and Jason’s heart, honest to god breaks at the broken look on her face.

“She died in childbirth, you know.” She whispers, and suddenly it makes sense. Why she was sitting there sobbing on her birthday, why she’d fallen out of a portal.

“That is not your fault.” Damian says firmly, walking over and standing face to face with Marinette, something Jason knew annoyed the girl. Damian was two years younger, but a little taller than her. She didn’t seem to mind now, though.

“But it was. If I hadn’t been born-” She starts and Jason frowns at the thought.

“The world would be a much shittier place.” He says with finality, not leaving room for her to argue. “Pix, you’re amazing, and the world would really suck without you. Never be sorry you were born.” Jason says firmly, stumbling slightly when she launches herself at him, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

“Thank you Jay.” She mumbles, and he can tell she’s crying again, but this time it’s not sobs, so he thinks it’s fine.

“Come on, let’s all watch a movie.” Repla- Tim suggests and Jason raises an eyebrow at the idea, briefly wondering what kind of movie he’d pick. They all pile on the giant sectional that Bruce had bought specifically for impromptu movie nights as Tim sticks the DVD in. Jason just snorts as the title card for “The Addams Family” comes on, settling back in the couch, ready to watch one of the greatest movies ever.

---

“Thank you again for flying us out here for her birthday.” Sabine says, smiling at him. Bruce returns the smile and nods.

“Of course, thank you for letting her spend the summer here. I know she’s appreciated the break from her classmates.” He says, his smile quickly fading at the confused look on both Sabine and Tom’s faces.

“What do you mean?” Tom asks.

“Marinette hasn’t told you?” Bruce asks, suddenly regretting bringing it up. Why hadn’t she said anything? They were her parents too. Sure, she’d made it clear they couldn’t know about Ladybug, but her class wasn’t a hero problem. They were a civilian problem.

“We knew that she wasn’t hanging out with them as often, and that she didn’t talk about her class as much as she used to. We just assumed that she was busy.” Sabine says, her face a mixture of sadness and anger.

“My apologies, I assumed she’d talked to you.” Bruce says, feeling as if he had crossed a line. Would they be mad at him, for her telling him something she hadn’t told them?

“She’s always looking out for others first,” Tom finally sighs, a tired smile on his face. “She probably thought she was saving us from being akumatized.” Bruce’ jaw clenches. Had Marinette really suffered in silence to avoid being forced to fight her parents?

“We can continue this conversation later, right now we should focus on her birthday.” Sabine says, placing a hand on Tom’s arm. He nods and Bruce makes a note to talk to the two about the possibility of her switching schools.

“She’s probably in her room.” Bruce says, leading the two towards the stairs.

“Actually, Master Bruce, the children are all in the informal sitting room. I believe they snuck down to have a movie night after Master Dick woke Miss Marinette to wish her a happy birthday.” Alfred says, Bruce watches his face and knows that’s not all, but doesn’t press. It had to be something that he couldn’t talk about in front of the Dupain Cheng’s.

“Of course they did. Thank you, Alfred. Alfred, this is Sabine Cheng and Tom Dupain, Marinette’s parents. Tom, Sabine, this is Alfred Pennyworth. He’s the man who raised me.” Bruce says, smiling at him. The three exchange pleasantries and soon Bruce is leading the two to the sitting room. He pushes the door open gently, careful not to let it slam. He spots a sword on the floor near Damian and quickly grabs it, moving it away. If he was woken up suddenly, he would still panic and attempt to fight his way out.

“She looks so peaceful.” Sabine whispers, and Bruce smiles, a genuine smile, he didn’t have to fake a smile when most of his children were together and safe and happy. Or, quiet, at least. It was rare.

“I’ve found them like this several times.” Bruce admits, pulling out his phone to show the two all of the pictures he’d taken of the kids piled together sleeping. Sabine and Tom smile widely at the pictures and Bruce quickly sends them their favorites.

“B, I swear to god, I can sense you in here. Let us sleep.” Jason mumbles grumpily.

“Sorry Jason, Marinette’s parents are here so it’s time to get up.” Bruce says, amused at the way his son’s hair was attempting to defy gravity. Jason looked around sleepily, waved lazily at Sabine and Tom, and then collapsed back on the couch. Bruce sighs. “Would the two of you like to have a cup of coffee while we give them a few more minutes to sleep?” He offers.

“That would be lovely.” Sabine says, and Bruce leads the two to the kitchen, hoping Tim (who had sat straight up after Jason flopped down) would take the hint and wake up the others.

---

Marinette sighs happily as everyone sits down at the table for dinner. The day had been amazing, despite the rough start. And her Dad had even flown her Maman and Papa out to spend the day with her. They couldn’t stay for long, they had the bakery to run after all, but it was still nice to see them. Marinette glances at the end of the table where a place was set, but no one sat.

“What’s with the extra plate?” Jason asks, turning to Alfred who was sitting in the chair next to it instead of his regular seat.

“It is for Miss Le.” He says, and she can almost feel everyone freeze. Her throat tightens, but she still smiles at him with watery eyes.

“Thank you, Alfred.” She says quietly. He nods.

“You are quite welcome, Miss.” He says. She clears her throat and looks back at her Maman, noticing that her smile was also a little sad. It had been all day, but Marinette was certain it wasn’t anything to worry about. Bridgette had been close with her Maman, surely she was just mourning her today, openly for the first time in a long time.

---

Marinette groans at whoever is trying to wake her up.

“Five more minutes.” She mutters, burrowing deeper under the covers. It was summer break, why wouldn’t anyone let her sleep?

“Come on sweetheart, your Papa and I want to talk to you and Bruce.” Her Maman says, and she immediately sits up. Was she in trouble? Had her Maman figured out the whole Batman thing? Had she figured out the Ladybug thing?

“Uh, okay.” She says, sliding out of bed and stepping into slippers. She wasn’t sure how serious the conversation was, but since her Maman didn’t stop her from walking out of the room in her pajamas, she relaxed slightly. It couldn’t be that serious, right? She follows her Maman into her Dad’s study, glancing wearily at the clock in the corner. Her Maman was often too observant. Hopefully she didn’t notice anything odd about the clock. They all sit in silence for an entire minute until Marinette can’t handle it anymore.

“Am I in trouble?” She asks hesitantly, looking between her parents’ faces.

“Of course not, we just- We noticed how different you are.” Her Maman says and Marientte frowns, furrowing her eyebrows. Different? She was different?

“How?” She asks.

“You’re happier than I’ve seen you in months honey. Your smile reaches your eyes, you talk freely, you seem peaceful.” Her Maman says softly, and Marinette blinks in surprise. Had she really been so easy to read in Paris? Had her parents really been able to tell? She’d wanted to hide it from them, not let them see how everything was piling on her, crushing her. She didn’t want to worry them.

“What do you- how-” She stumbles over her words, trying to figure out where she messed up.

“We didn’t know why until we talked to Bruce.” Her Papa says and she turns to glare at her Dad, feeling a little betrayed. He holds up his hands in surrender.

“Marinette, you didn’t tell me not to tell them about your class.” He reminds her, and she huffs.

“Guess we can cross mind reader off the list of things you can do.” She mumbles, making her Papa snort.

“It wasn’t just that though. We’d seen how restrained you had become, how you never went out with friends and you stopped talking about them.” Her Maman says softly. Marinette grits her teeth, hugging herself to try and hold herself together.

“I didn’t want to worry you.” She says, her voice barely audible. That wasn’t the main reason though. She didn’t want to fight her parents, and if they knew everything going on with Lila, they’d definitely be akumatized. She couldn’t fight them. Not if she could help it.

“What would you say about transferring schools?” Her Maman asks suddenly, and Marinette jerks her head up, looking at her with wide eyes. Transfer schools? It would be great, amazing, fantastic, but- but her classmates would still come to the bakery. Still give her the same odd looks they’d been giving her since they found out that she’s a Wayne.

“What school?” She asks, because yes, that makes a difference. Chloe had transferred schools not long ago, and Marinette did not want to trade Lila for Chloe. She’d rather not deal with either of them, if she was being honest.

“Gotham Academy.” Her Maman says, and Marinette feels lucky that she wasn’t drinking anything, because she would have definitely done a spit take. Gotham Academy? As in, live in Gotham year round? What-

“Are you giving me up?” She asks, suddenly hurt. Her Maman’s eyes widen and her Papa pulls her into a giant hug.

“Of course not honey.” He says, rubbing her back gently and squeezing her lightly.

“We asked Bruce if he thought Gotham Academy would be a good school for you. He offered to let you fly home some weekends, and any of the breaks you want. Or to fly us out here if you have time off school. You don’t have to say yes, and you don’t have to make a decision right now.” Her Maman reassures her as her Papa lets her go. Marinette turns to look at her Dad, his face unreadable.

“Would you really be okay with that?” She asks, and he nods.

“We all just want you to be happy, Marinette. Wherever that may be. And we’re all willing to work together to do that.” He says and she smiles, letting out a soft sigh.

“I- I’d need to think about it a little more,” She says, running through the idea in her head. It seemed perfect, besides the whole ‘bouncing back to Paris for attacks’ thing. But she’d been doing it all summer, it had been fine so far. And maybe, maybe, Hawkmoth would even be defeated by the end of summer. No matter what, things were changing and Marinette was trying her best to keep up.

Next

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[lupiningwolves]

Not without him | Regulus Black x fem!reader

summary: Y/N Potter and Regulus Black...

warnings: character death, mentions of death, mentions of food, angst

—

Seven years ago, a little eleven year old girl walked through the Great Hall. The students from the four houses watched every move the first years made. But two boys were more curious about what was about to happen. Two best friends watched as their younger siblings walked behind Professor McGonagall.

„Are you nervous?“, asked the black haired boy that walked next to Y/N. She nodded nervous. He took her hand and smiled warmly at her. „It‘s gonna be alright.“

„Thank you“, she said. When McGonagall stopped before the teachers table, she announced what will happen. But Y/N already knew. Just one year ago, her brother wrote excitedly a letter to her, saying that he was put in Gryffindor and already made friends.

„Regulus Black“, McGonagall shouted. All eyes turned to the boy that slowly let go of the girls hand, smiled weakly at her and walked to the Sorting Hat.

He sat down and McGonagall was about to put it on his head. It just touched his black hair as it shouted: „Slytherin!“ The girl felt her heart sink for a moment. The Slytherin table cheered loudly while all the other tables stayed silent.

It felt like an eternity until her name was called. „Y/N Potter.“ She walked to the Professor and waited until the hat was on her head.

„Mhm, ah, alright ...“ She had never been more nervous in her life. „Let’s make it - Gryffindor!“ She smile bright and went to the Gryffindors that we’re more than happy to have the other Potter in their house.

„Y/N.“ Her brother smiled at her and hugged her.

„Jamesie“, she responded.

„I‘m so proud of you“, he muttered. He let her go again and faced his best friends. „Y/N, that’s Remus, Peter and Sirius.“

„Hi“, Peter said smiling and Remus waved at her. But Sirius said nothing.

The boys looked at him worried and talked to him about his brother being a Slytherin. The girl didn’t take part in the conversation, but sure listened to what they said.

And when she laid in her bed at her first night at Hogwarts, she decided to became friends with him. A friendship between a Gryffindor and Slytherin, especially a Potter and a Black, was difficult. But not impossible.

-

During her first year, Y/N slowly but steady became friends with Regulus. And by the start of second year, the two were inseparable.

„Regulus“, she beamed as she saw him at the Hogwarts Express. She wanted to go to him, but her brother held her back.

„Not now, Y/N. He‘ll come along. Just like Sirius will.“ She nodded sadly.

Sat alone in a compartment, she waited for him to come, just like he promised before holiday. But when the train started moving, she lost all hope.

With her head against the window, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to come over her. But nothing happened.

„Is here still a seat for me?“ Y/N smiled as she heard the voice and looked to the door.

„Reggie.“ She got up and hugged him like there was no tomorrow. „I missed you.“

„I missed you too, Y/N.“

-

In her third year, Y/N found out about all the stuff that was going on at the Black house.

She just wanted to use the toilet when she saw her best friend crying in Moaning Myrtles bathroom.

„Reggie“, she breathed out. He raised his head from inbetween his knees that were pulled up to his chest.

„Y/N, I - You shouldn’t have seen me like this.“ He wiped his tears away, but a sob escaped his lips.

Y/N slowly made her way to him to give him time to decide, if he wants her here. But when he didn’t say anything, she kneeled down next to him and wrapped her arms tight around him.

„It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here now. You have me and always will. Shh“, she whispered in his ear. „Do you want to talk about it?“

Regulus didn’t want to. But he knew her better than anybody else and was sure that she would want him to talk anyway. So he told her everything.

In the end, both of them were crying and in each other’s arms.

„Come on. I got a good friend that has more chocolate than books. And let me tell you, that means he has a lot of chocolate.“ She got up and pulled him to his feet. Then, she dragged him to the Gryffindor tower and sneaked into the dorm of her brother where she stole a few chocolate bars.

-

In fifth year, Y/N started listening more to what the people around her said. And what they said was that she and Regulus were in a relationship.

Before summer, she didn’t think that she could actually be in love with him. But the more time she thought about it, she was sure that the butterflies in her stomach when she thought about him and the jealousy when she saw another girl talking to him, were love.

And who better ask for help than the most lucky person in love herself.

„James, I kinda need you help in something“, she had said.

„What’s on?“

„I - I think I‘m in love.“ The older boy‘s eyes had widened at his sister’s confession.

„Who is it - No, I already know it“, he had corrected himself. „Well, my dear sister, just talk to him I guess. I could ask Sirius if he knows anything.“

The girl had smiled. „You‘d do that?“

„Anything for my little sister.“

So she thought the whole summer about how to confess her feeling towards her crush.

When the teachers talked about their upcoming O.W.L.s, Y/N found herself watching Regulus as he twirled his quill between his fingers.

One time in the library, Y/N studied for the last O.W.L when Regulus sat down in front of her, a big smile across his face.

„Guess what?“, he asked happy.

„What?“ She was happy too, because she had never this such a big smile on his lips.

„I got a date.“ Her heart sunk and her face fell. But she reminded herself that she was his best friend, so she forced herself to a smile.

„Really? Must be a lucky girl then.“

„Yeah, she is amazing“, he said deep in thought. „She isn’t a Slytherin, Mother and Father are going to kill me. But she is worth it. She is beautiful. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen. When I saw her the first time in first year, I knew she was going to be the one I marry.“ His smile grew and grew by his words. And Y/N thought she was going to cry. „She was nervous, you know. I saw it on her face when she walked down the Great Hall. So I took her hand.“

She realised what he was about to say. „Wait - W-What?“

„You, Y/N. Sometimes I wonder how you’re one of the best in all classes. I thought it was obvious.“ She shook your head still in shock. „Well, Darling, you and me are going to Hogsmeade together.“

„We always do, Dumbass“, she retorted.

„We are going out. As in I like you and you like me back more than friends.“

„I‘d be more than happy about that, Mr Black.“

-

Their relationship wasn’t easy, not at all. They were happy when they had one day without a comment from anyone. When Regulus was back home during summer, he told his parents. And the owl that reached Y/N made her look herself in her room for days.

She was more than happy to see him in September. She thought about breaking up with him. The comments from all around them made her insecure about herself and their relationship. And, more important, his health and relationship with his parents worried her the most.

So she decided to talk to him after a few weeks back at Hogwarts.

„Reggie, can we talk for a second?“, she asked him when she was sure that he was done with eating dinner.

„What - Yeah, of course.“ He wasn’t sure why his girlfriend was so nervous. When they walked out of the Great Hall he wanted to take her hand, but she pulled it away.

„We need to break up“, she said when they were in the safe space of her dorm room.

His face fell. „What? Why?“

Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw the sad look on his face. „Reggie, please. You need to understand that-“ He cut her off.

„There is nothing to understand, Y/N. I thought we were doing fine“, he said not so calmly anymore. „What is it? Is there somebody else?“

„What?! No, you know I would never love someone else. There will always be just you.“

„Then why?! Is it the others? The comments?“ She didn’t say anything, but Regulus knew by the look on her face that it was exactly what had got her upset. „Y/N, don’t listen to them. They’re all idiots. I love you, okay?“ Both of them froze at what he said. „I didn’t want you to know this way, but yes, I love you. More than anything in the world. So please, give us another chance. I‘ll do everything to make this work.“

She stepped forward to hug him. „I love you too“, she said against his chest. „I’m sorry.“

„Don’t be, pretty girl. I know it gets hard sometimes.“

-

Regulus and Y/N. After Sirius and Remus the most beautiful couple. Even Lily and James looked bad against them. They went through hell, but still got each other.

When James graduated, Regulus took James part in keeping everything bad away from her. And she kept away the demons that followed him. But there was one thing she couldn’t stop.

He was a death eater.

He told her immediately when he got the mark. She was angry and sad. But not at him, at his stupid family that made him do what he did.

After they graduated, Regulus bought them a small flat near the one Remus and Sirius got. All of them became friends because of Y/N and James. But Sirius still hadn’t got over the fact that his brother was one of them.

But Regulus and Y/N were happy. More than that, they were engaged. No one from the black family knew, except Sirius of course. They wanted to wait until after the war to get married.

All happy and giggling, Y/N came back from her parents to Sirius and Remus‘ flat where everyone was supposed to meet. Regulus said he‘d be there too.

She opened the door and took her shoes off. „I‘m here!“, she beamed and went to the living room. Remus had Sirius in his arms while he was silently crying. James sat on a chair with his face buried in his hands. She heard the girls talking in the kitchen. „What’s going on?“

They looked up at her confused. „Y/N“, James whispered. „You haven’t -“

„I haven’t what?“, she asked worried. She had never seen Sirius crying before. „Where is Reggie? I thought he was coming too?“ Sirius broke down again and a tear escaped her eye.

James got up and hugged her. „I‘m so sorry, Y/N.“

She got out from his grip and looked at him. „What is going on? Where is he?“

„He’s dead, Y/N“, her brother whispered as the girls came in the kitchen and abruptly stopped when they saw the younger girl.

But she didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t believe it. „When this is one of your pranks, James, I swear to my life ...“ But her brother was serious.

„We‘re so sorry, Y/N“, Lily said. She went to hug her, but she backed away.

„That’s not true“, she muttered. „You’re lying. I talked to him this morning. He said he’d meet me here. He said he couldn’t wait until the wedding. He - H-He-“ A sob escaped her lips and tears flooded over her cheeks. „Please“, she looked around the room and saw everyone’s sad gaze. „No“, she mumbled.

Her knees gave in and before she could fall to the ground, her brother caught her and pulled her in his embrace. „I’m right here. Shh.“

„He can’t leave me“, she sobbed into his chest. „He- He said he’d never leave me. Never. Why? Why did he lie?“ More tears ran down her face. She could barely breath. „I loved him.“

„I know. He loved you too. So much“, her brother said and stroked her hair. „It’s gonna be alright.“

„Nothing is gonna be alright! He’s gone! He is gone.“ She whispered the last part as her voice broke. „I can’t live without him.“

„You can, Y/N. It’s gonna be a rough time. But we’re all here for you. We can get through this together.“

But she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to live without him. Not without the love of her life.

[multi-fandom-imagines-stuff]

could you do one where the reader was natasha and yelena’s “sibling” when they lived in ohio, and reader was taken by the red room with them, and then when reader was a teenager, they managed to escape, leaving natasha and yelena behind, thinking reader was dead. after they take down the red room, they find the reader and have a sibling's reunion? and could you keep it gender-neutral please?

Castle on the Hill

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff/sibling!reader, Yelena Belova/sibling!reader

Description: The reader was Natasha and Yelena's "sibling" when they were undercover in Ohio, and gets taken into the Red Room with them. After escaping as a teenager, the reader stays alone, leaving everyone to believe they are dead until one day, they recieve a call from a familiar voice.

Warning: mentions of the Red Room and the torture they caused, i think that's pretty much it

Word count: 2,002

A/N: i had so much fun writing this omg it seriously made me want to cry! i hope you enjoy it!!

✩❀✩❀✩

“Tasha, stop!” I cried, giggling slightly as my sister and her friend chased me through the fields that were located a few blocks away from home.

The fields were my favorite place to play. My older sister Natasha, who was three years older than me, always liked to come to the fields with her friends. A few months ago, I had turned six and mom told me that I was old enough to go play in the fields with Tasha. My younger sister Yelena was only four, so she was still too young to play with us. But that was okay, I still liked to play with her in our backyard. We even had a playground. Tasha had taught me how to do the monkey bars without getting scared, and I passed the skill on to Lena.

Today, I was playing tag with Tasha and her friend. Of course, with them being nine and me only being six, they were a lot faster than me. Being faster than me meant that no matter how fast I ran, they would always catch up to me. Nat reached her hand out and shoved me lightly in the back. However, I wasn’t expecting it, and it caught me off guard, making me stumble a bit. My foot caught on a rock and I went tumbling forward, rolling down a small hill. The smell of grass overcame me as I continued to fall, hearing a sickening crack followed by a blinding pain in my leg. Finally, I came to a stop as I reached the bottom of the hill. I looked down at my leg. It was bent at a weird angle, and the pain was almost unbearable as I started to wail.

“Y/n!” Tasha screamed as she ran down the hill after me. “Are you okay?”

“No,” I cried, grabbing her and burying my head in her shoulder. “My leg really hurts.”

“Okay, hold on, we’re gonna get you home to mom, okay? She’ll know how to make it better,” Tasha reassured me.

I nodded feebly as she helped me up, sitting me in the basket of her friend’s bike before riding back home to get help.

——

My eyes shot open, tearing me from my dream. It was rare that I dreamt about my childhood. I had very few memories from that time, and the one I had just dreamt about was one of the most vivid. I broke my leg that day, and it took two months to heal. I remember Yelena being upset because it meant I couldn’t play outside with her for a while. As much as I didn’t like to recall that time in my life, I couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

Amongst my other memories from my childhood, there were things like my first crush—a kid in my kindergarten class—when I was five, the friends that I had made and had to leave behind, and family dinners every night. But what I remembered more than anything else were the fields we always used to play in. In the distance of those fields, there was a huge mansion made from stone, and Natasha and I always used to imagine it was a castle. Whenever the sun was setting, the orange sky made it look like there was a dragon in the castle blowing fire into the air.

Suddenly, I was pulled from my memories by the sound of my phone ringing. I looked at it sketchily. I never gave my phone number out to anybody, so the odds of getting an actual phone call were extremely rare. Against my better judgment, I picked up my phone and answered the call.

“Who are you and how did you get this number?” I asked, trying my best to sound intimidating.

“Y/n?” A voice came through from the other end.

The voice almost sounded familiar, like I had heard it before, but I couldn’t place it.

“I’m not going to ask again,” I said, my fist balling up at my side. “I am not the kind of person you want to piss off.”

“Oh my god, Yelena, it’s them,” the voice spoke, but it sounded far off like the speaker had brought the phone away from their mouth.

Did she just say Yelena?

“Tasha?” I questioned, my voice cracking ever so slightly as realization set in.

“Yeah, it’s me,” She whispered reassuringly. “It’s me.”

I fell speechless, the phone almost dropping from my hand as I moved to wipe away the tears that were already beginning to roll down my face.

Natasha, Yelena, and I were all brought into the Red Room at the same time. Natasha was eleven, I was eight, and poor little Yelena was only six. What we went through was something that no child—or grown adult for that matter—should ever have to go through. I was there for ten years. Ten years of being held prisoner, of being tortured, of being forced to kill.

I was sixteen when I graduated the Red Room. I thought it meant things were over, that I could run as far away as I could and never look back, but I was wrong. The Red Room continued to control me for two years after that, until one day I faked my own death and got out. It killed me inside to know that Lena and Tasha thought I was dead, but I knew I had no future if I stayed. My only regret was that I couldn’t save everyone else.

I distanced myself from the world, afraid of what I had become, what I had done, and what I was capable of. I escaped eleven years ago, and I’ve been alone ever since.

“Y/n, are you there?” Natasha’s voice came through the phone again, drawing me back to reality.

“How did you find me? I’m supposed to be dead.”

“I know a guy,” She responded, and I could practically hear her smirking.

Right. She’s friends with the Stark guy who owns practically the best technology on earth.

“Listen, there’s a lot we need to tell you about, and I think a reunion is in order,” Natasha explained. “We have your location and we’ll be there in an hour. Be ready.”

With that, Natasha ended the call, leaving me alone in silence. Half of my brain told me this wasn’t happening. That wasn’t really Natasha on the phone, it was just some cruel way for the Red Room to find me. But the other half of my brain believed that everything that just happened was real. As much as I wanted to err on the side of caution, the thought of seeing my sisters again made me the happiest I’ve felt since I was a child.

I glanced down at my phone to check the time. Ten minutes had passed since the phone call, giving me about fifty minutes to pack up my things and get ready.

Packing wasn’t hard. I lived a very minimalistic lifestyle, mainly due to the fact that I didn’t have a proper job, and I was always ready to run at a moment’s notice if I ever caught wind of the Red Room near me.

I finished packing and proceeded to pace the floor until the hour was up and I heard a knock at my door. Deciding that I could never be too cautious, I grabbed my handgun and checked that it was loaded before pointing it at the ground and approaching the door.

“Who’s there?” I called.

“It’s us. It’s Natasha and Yelena,” A voice with a thick Russian accent called back.

Yelena.

“Prove it,” I said again, still keeping my guard up. “Tell me something that only you two would know.”

There was a moment of silence before someone spoke up. This time, it was Nat.

“When we were little, you would spend almost every summer night catching fireflies because I told you they could grant wishes. When you found out they couldn’t, you were so mad, you didn’t talk to me for a week.”

I smiled slightly at the memory. Turning the gun’s safety on, I tucked it into my waistband and opened the door, staring face-to-face with my sisters for the first time in over two decades. Almost immediately, the two of them embraced me in a tight hug, and I never wanted to let go.

“So, what did you need to tell me?” I asked once we all pulled away from the hug.

“We’ll tell you in the car. We have to get going though, we have a long journey ahead of us,” Nat told me.

“Where are we going?” I questioned.

“Home.”

——

Natasha and Yelena explained everything to me. About how they teamed up, about how they killed Dreykov, and about how the Red Room was finally gone.

“So, the other widows, are they safe?” I questioned, processing everything they had just told me.

“Yes,” Yelena answered from the passenger seat, turning around to face me in the back. “There is no one controlling them anymore, and we are currently working toward undoing all of the mind control the Red Room created.”

“I can’t believe you guys took down the Red Room without me!” I exclaimed, crossing my arms. “I would’ve loved to help.”

“Y/n, we thought you were dead!” Nat tried to reason, but I wouldn’t listen.

I wasn’t seriously angry with her, and she knew that. Teasing each other was something we did all the time as kids.

“You can’t be mad at us,” Yelena raised her hands in mock defense. “We literally just saved so many lives.”

I continued to cross my arms, ignoring them both.

“C’mon, y/n, talk to us,” Nat glanced back at me through her mirror as she drove.

Still, I said nothing. I was extremely stubborn as a child, and I guess somethings never change.

“I’ve got an idea,” Lena whispered to Nat.

“February made me shiver,” Yelena started singing. “With every paper I’d deliver. Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn’t take one more step.”

“I can’t remember if I cried when I read about his widowed bride,” Nat joined in. “But something touched me deep inside. The day the music died.”

The two of them went quiet and I knew they were expecting me to sing the next part. Yelena looked back at me, and eventually, I caved.

“So bye-bye, Miss American Pie,” I sang slowly, a smile creeping onto my face. “Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry. And them good ol’ boys were drinking whiskey and rye, singin’ ‘this’ll be the day that I die. This’ll be the day that I die…’”

Suddenly, all three of us were singing as loud as we could.

“Did you write the book of love, and do you have faith in god above? If the bible tells you so. Now, do you believe in rock ‘n’ roll? Can music save your mortal soul? And can you teach me how to dance real slow?”

I burst out laughing with glee, causing Yelena and Nat to follow suit. We laughed for what seemed like an eternity, until we were all red in the face and gasping for air.

Trying to catch my breath, I looked out the window just in time to see us speed past a sign that read:

Welcome to Ohio

I continued to stare out the window as I watched the fields fly by. The sun was just beginning to set, and out in the distance, I could see the “castle” that we always used to admire.

Suddenly, I thought back to when we were kids. I was filled with all the memories we made in Ohio, as a family. Even though I knew it was all fake, it was real in my head. Melina and Alexei were my parents, and Tasha and Lena were my sisters. Ohio was my home, and nothing anyone said or did could take that away from me.

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup 

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for April 2021! Below the cut you’ll find 17 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. 

To Begin Again by @chloehl10​ / lovelarry10 

[Harry/Louis, 23k, Teen and Up, tumblr post] 

“I, uh, I’m really sorry for yelling at you like I did.”

“Hey, I deserved it and more. I’m lucky you didn’t come and deck me on the nose,” Louis said, holding his hands up as if to surrender. “Seriously, you went lightly on me. If a crazy dog was leaping around me and my kids, I’d have lost my shit long before you did, and it would have been a lot more sweary than yours as well.”

Harry laughed at that, quite liking the man now he was getting to know him. This Louis seemed to have a good sense of humour, and his dog was fairly likeable too, laying there sound asleep, sunbathing.

“Well, I don’t usually lose my temper, so I just wanted to apologise.”

“It’s me who needs to say sorry. My stupid dog ate their bloody eggs, and on Easter Sunday at that. It’s a good job we don’t go to church, Cliff, or we’d both be going straight to hell. Nice ears, by the way. I meant to say earlier.”

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

Harry’s ready to spend a fun Easter morning with his two children at the park, but it’s thrown into chaos when an over-excited dog and his owner come barrelling into their lives…

A Small Matter (A Matter of Trust) by @kingsofeverything​ 

[Harry/Louis, 18k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

Harry knows he and his Grindr hookup would be perfect together, if only he could convince him to give a relationship a chance. 

Or Harry has a thing for jock straps. Louis likes to wear them. 

Are you proud of me? by @sadaveniren​ 

[Harry/Louis, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

Louis was completely naked, except for a silk scarf that Harry had never seen before. It was tied around his neck like a bow. His lithe body was cast in dramatic shadows as he descended the stairs and all Harry could think was holy shit, mine, mine, mine.

“Well this is a shame. I was hoping you’d keep the boa.”

Harry blinked in surprise at his voice. He was too caught up in his perfection. “What?”

“I guess the leather will do. I do love you dressed in leather.”

aka I show up 2 weeks late with Grammy Fic

Right Back Home to You by @behindmeday​

 [Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post] 

It wasn’t the first time Harry and Nick were cut off before they really got started talking. In fact, it seemed to be happening more often than not. Nick had an insane schedule that no rational person would choose, but Harry’s was even worse. Between the early mornings on The Breakfast Show and the never-ending time zone changes of tour, it seemed that Harry and Nick weren’t really meant to have any real conversations these days. 

Or, Harry writes Nick a song. 

take my hand (my whole life too) by @beckydoesthings​ / beckywritesthings

 [Harry/Louis, 44k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

“You’re famous?” he asks, deciding to dive straight into the heart of the issue.

Harry winces, dropping his gaze to the table. “Erm… famous is one word for it.”

Well, that’s reassuring. Louis raises an eyebrow until Harry heaves a sigh and continues.

“How much do you know about the British monarchy?”

His stomach drops to the floor in a heartbeat, jaw following suit. There’s no way that what Harry’s insinuating is possible. But as the time ticks by, there’s no change in the deadly serious expression on Harry’s face, fingers twitching steadily on the table as he waits for Louis’ answer.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Or a Crazy Rich Asians AU with a royal twist where Harry is a prince, Louis is most definitely not, and there’s a royal wedding to attend.

Forever Is In Your Eyes by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed​ / we_are_the_same 

[Harry/Louis, 126k, Teen & Up, tumblr post] 

Harry looks fragile in the moonlight, and Louis stands there, pondering, not even sure what it is that he’s thinking of. It’s all just noise in his head, a mix of melancholy and desire, of longing for something that he doesn’t even have a name for.

He wants-

He wants love. He wants to be held and cherished and have a home. Not just a place to lay his head down at night. He wants to be loved the way that Louis had loved creating Harry. He wants his perfect man, but he wants him to be real. He wants Harry to be real-

His lips press against marble, against something cold and unforgiving, and it’s not until his hand comes up to rest against a sculpted neck that his eyes fly open and he stumbles backwards, nearly falling off the stepladder that he’d stood on.

“Jesus Christ.” He whispers, shaking his head and resisting the urge to brush the back of his hand against his lips, erase evidence that isn’t even visible to the naked eye. Harry stands there, as though nothing’s changed, and of course he does, because he’s a statue.

A statue that Louis has just kissed.

Stuck in an eternal spring by @chrysopon​ / flamboyo 

[Louis/Zayn, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post] 

Louis is about to go crazy in the silent solitude of London’s lockdown. The only breach into the grey monotony of his days is the hope of catching a glimpse of the dark-haired guy who lives in the building across the street. One night they have their night cigarette together while both in their flats, twenty meters and an empty, quiet street between them. It becomes a habit, but maybe there’s hope for it to become something more. 

It’s Been So Long by @elsi-bee​ / elsi_bee 

[Harry/Louis, 31k, Teen & Up, tumblr post] 

Harry Styles’ first crush was one of his sister’s best friends, a certain someone named Louis Tomlinson. And Louis? He just vaguely remembers Gemma’s younger brother from back in the day. 

A lot can change in ten years. 

Featuring Niall and Liam as Harry’s friends, flirting, fluff, and flashbacks to the awkward days of high school. 

This Dream Lost by @zanniscaramouche​ / zanni_scaramouche

[Liam/Louis/Harry, 5k, Mature, tumblr post] 

It’s a dangerous game to play his Alpha like this, and it gives Harry a thrill through his spine he’s not sure he likes. It’ll be worth it, but he doubts he’ll be pulling any surprises on Louis for a while after this. He can’t fucking stand it as is and it’s not even really for Louis, it’s for Liam. 

Mercy by @zanniscaramouche​ / zanni_scaramouche 

[Niall/Shawn Mendes, 5k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

“I-” Shawn licks his lips, eyes bright and wide with the shock. 

Balls in his court now. He could refuse, step away from the line they’re toeing and laugh it off. But he doesn’t, just like Niall knew he wouldn’t. Because Shawn wants this. They both do, and that’s what makes it so fucking insane. 

Blind Faith by @2tiedships2​ 

[Harry/Louis, 18k, Mature, tumblr post] 

“Harry?” Liam prompted.

“I’m blind,” Harry eventually said, trying his best to keep himself from crying.

Liam was silent for a few moments, before responding, “That’s not exactly news, H. You were blind when I met you a year and a half ago. Have you been in denial this whole time or something?”

“No, Liam,” Harry cut in. “This is different. I’m not legally blind like I used to say. It’s not just my night vision. The tunnel from my tunnel vision has closed. I’m fucking blind! I moved halfway around the world in the hope of finding my soulmate and it’s obviously not happening now. Not even a soulmate is going to want to put up with a blind alpha.“

The Journal by @wait4ever​ / RecycledStardust & @evilovesyou​ / 4ureyesonly28 

[Louis/Harry, 14k, General, tumblr post] 

When Harry finds himself purchasing an antique journal in the ancient bookshop of a town he’s never heard of, he doesn’t exactly want to admit that he has no idea how he got there. A myriad of odd coincidences and a few kind smiles from the shopkeeper have the two of them working hard to solve the mystery of this strange journal that seems to have been waiting for Harry for almost a hundred and thirty years. 

But I’m the Quarterback by @evilovesyou​ / 4ureyesonly28 

[Harry/Louis, 52k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

Harry Styles is the quarterback of Sunny High’s football team, dating the beautiful head cheerleader, and determined to enter his senior year with focus and discipline. That is, until a strange man shows up at his home, makes his girlfriend break up with him, and convinces his parents to send him off to a “reparative therapy camp” over the summer. 

At True Directions, Harry meets four other boys and five girls, all there to be cured of their homosexuality. He has to find a way out of this place as soon as possible—Christ, he isn’t even gay! 

Know a Trick or Two by @sadaveniren​ 

[Harry/Louis, 45k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

The night before Louis is scheduled for a Portkey to begin training with the Vratsa Vultures in Bulgaria he heads into Muggle London for one last night of fun. A few months later he finds out he’s having a child. 

Eleven years ago Harry had a one night stand and now there’s a strange man on his doorstep telling him his daughter is something called a wizard and she’s got a place at the British wizarding school Hogwarts. 

Aka the one where Muggle Harry and Wizard Louis have a one night stand and get more than they bargained out of it. 

Until That Day by @kingsofeverything​ 

[Harry/Louis, 44k, Explicit, tumblr post] 

Harry Styles is days away from walking down the aisle when his previous failed weddings are turned into a public spectacle by jaded London journalist Louis Tomlinson. Hoping to witness Harry leave another groom at the altar, Louis heads to Holmes Chapel, where nothing goes as planned, and he finds himself falling for the serial heartbreaker. 

A Runaway Bride movie AU 

Caught In Your Gravity by @lululawrence​ 

[Harry/Louis, 63k, Not Rated, tumblr post] 

It felt like the blood froze in Harry’s veins even as he got a bit lightheaded. He hadn’t even made it two practices, only one of which he was remotely in charge of, without giving it all away and now he and Liam were both absolutely fucked.

“Shit,” Harry breathed out. “Who all have you told? Does everyone know? I thought I covered it better than that…”

“No, no,” Louis said quickly. “They’ll figure it out soon enough, though, because they’ll get used to you changing things up, but you’re only going to trip over your so called Americanisms for so long before they realize it’s because you don’t actually know fuck all about football.”

Harry sighed. “Yeah. I figured. I just need to bullshit for long enough to allow Liam to get the situation figured out from his end.”

“Right, which brings me to my entire point. I think we can find a mutually beneficial arrangement with all of this.” Louis leaned forward. “You need to learn the ins and outs of the sport incredibly fast. I can help you with that.”

“What do you want in exchange?”

Or, an AU inspired by a 30 second trailer of Ted Lasso that doesn’t actually have much in common with the show at all.

Passing By by @larryyouknow​

[Harry/Louis, 48k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Sometimes, people are in each other’s lives just for the briefest of moments. They meet and then go their separate ways because being vulnerable is scary and it might be easier to not let anybody else in. But some people aren’t meant to be just passing by. Maybe when they open their eyes, they can learn things about themselves they haven’t known before. If they let their hearts speak they will find a way to be together.

Or the one where Harry doesn’t even know he’s into guys until he meets Louis on a boat trip. There’s something more to their friendship but it ain’t gonna be smooth sailing.

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 71

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Link to ongoing Taida Translations

Chapter 71: The Eighth Door

Very soon, regarding Ruan Nanzhu's offer, Lin Qiushi had an answer—he decided to enter Cheng Yixie's ninth door together with Ruan Nanzhu.

About Lin Qiushi's decision, Ruan Nanzhu wasn't surprised. He only asked Lin Qiushi once more: "You've thought it through?"

Lin Qiushi nodded: "I've thought it through."

"The ninth door will be much more difficult. Even I can't guarantee you'll make it out safely," Ruan Nanzhu spoke bluntly. "This door may be your last."

Lin Qiushi said, "that's fine."

Ruan Nanzhu watched Lin Qiushi's face in silence for a moment, before nodding in acceptance.

Lin Qiushi thought there was something he wanted to say, but in the end, Ruan Nanzhu said nothing more.

After confirming Lin Qiushi was going with them, Ruan Nanzhu told Lin Qiushi the ninth door's hint. When he got it, Lin Qiushi read it over, and took on a look of shock: "This is a hint?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "mh."

There was a line on the paper: with bronze as mirror, one can right their apparel; with history as mirror, one can understand the tides of fortune; with people as mirror, one can gain from loss.

"What does this mean?" Lin Qiushi recalled this was a famous quote from Li Shimin of the Tang Dynasty, something that was even taught in textbooks. But placed within the world of the doors, a hint like this was basically no hint at all.

"I don't know," Ruan Nanzhu said. "The hints for latter doors are all more abstract. They no longer have clear indications like the ones before. So what the situation will actually be like, we can only say once inside the door."

Hint slip pinched in hand, Lin Qiushi stared at it for a long time, before saying okay.

Their time of entry was, specifically, the fifteenth of the next month. Cheng Yixie was the one who told Lin Qiushi. When he learned Lin Qiushi was going into the door with them he seemed quite calm, like he'd already predicted Ruan Nanzhu would be bringing Lin Qiushi along.

Cheng Yixie was likely the quietest person inside the mansion. He was silent all the time, except to scold his brother.

Though Cheng Qianli and Cheng Yixie were twins, their personalities were complete opposites. Cheng Qianli went about his day like an air-headed child, while Cheng Yixie was very mature.

There was still some time before they were to enter the door. Lin Qiushi continued to rest in the mansion.

In the interim Tan Zaozao and that movie legend Zhang Yiqing also came around, together with the man taking Zhang Yiqing through his doors.

That person's name was Bai Ming. In both looks and disposition he was very sunny, with his hair in light, natural curls and a cute dimple on his cheek when he smiled.

To be honest, Lin Qiushi was having a hard time linking a person like this to a major player on the inside. He was quite curious how this Bai Ming appeared inside the doors.

The question felt a bit invasive however, so Lin Qiushi didn't ask.

Zhang Yiqing's condition seemed better than before. At least he didn't look on the verge of a breakdown.

Bai Ming was very interested in Lin Qiushi as well, though he didn't dare express too much of this interest in front of Ruan Nanzhu. Lin Qiushi still noticed, though, the occasional looks of assessment.

"Yiqing's movie's premiering in May, you guys have to go see it." The first thing Bai Ming did upon arriving at the mansion was pass out Zhang Yiqing's premier tickets. "I've already seen the uncut version, it's amazing."

Sitting on the side watching Bai Ming toot his horn, Zhang Yiqing's expression didn't look too good. Lin Qiushi guessed it was a look of humiliation…

"Yiqing is absolutely incredible, I like him so much." Bai Ming professed his love looking like a whole star-chasing fanatic. Which was fine on the regular, but now that he was complimenting the man to his face, it was rather hard to bear. Lin Qiushi clearly saw that despite Zhang Yiqing's severe expression, his ears had gone completely red. Zhang Yiqing stood up, feigning calm, and said he was going out onto the balcony for a smoke.

Lin Qiushi privately thought it was really pretty funny, that this Bai Ming had Zhang Yiqing completely contained.

Tan Zaozao started loudly guffawing without holding back at all.

"Zaozao, are you going in again?" Lin Qiushi quickly calculated the time, and felt Tan Zaozao's next door ought to be soon.

"Mh," Tan Zaozao nodded. "Chen Fei's bringing me this time… How about you? Which door are you on?"

Lin Qiushi said, "still my sixth." He didn't mention that he was going into the ninth door with Ruan Nanzhu.

"Oh…" Tan Zaozao's attention seemed to wander, like she was thinking of something.

Lin Qiushi asked, "what is it?"

"Nothing," Tan Zaozao sighed. "Just wondering what to do about the doors after this." She couldn't completely drop her real life job like Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi to focus on passing the doors, and she didn't have the courage to train. This meant that for higher level doors, she'd likely have more poor fortune than good, not to mention that even Ruan Nanzhu basically didn't take on doors after the sixth.

Because people said that after the sixth door, the level of difficulty thoroughly changed. As for how it changed, Tan Zaozao wasn't sure. All she knew was that it would be tough.

The group chatted for a while over lunch. Lin Qiushi learned, through Ruan Nanzhu and Bai Ming's conversation, that the two had known each other for about four years, and counted as old friends.

Bai Ming had already passed his ninth door, and was waiting for his tenth.

After eating, Bai Ming and Ruan Nanzhu went to the study. The two seemed to have something to discuss in private.

Tan Zaozao brought Lin Qiushi and Zhang Yiqing downstairs to play games.

What the two discussed Lin Qiushi didn't know, but when they came back downstairs, both their gazes were fixed on him.

Lin Qiushi, vaguely startled, asked, "what is it?"

"Nothing," Bai Ming grinned. "Just a bit curious about you."

Lin Qiushi, "curious?"

Bai Ming asked, "don't you think there's something special about yourself?"

Lin Qiushi gave it a thought, before murmuring, "I especially like cats?" As he said this, he was poking subtly at Chestnut's toe beans, all while Chestnut side-eyed him in displeasure.

Ruan Nanzhu, "…" Sure, that could be considered a type of special.

Hearing this, Bai Ming laughed. "You really are interesting." He didn't mention anymore about Lin Qiushi though, and after sitting for another while, left with Zhang Yiqing and Tan Zaozao.

Lin Qiushi glanced at Ruan Nanzhu, seated beside him, and quietly asked, "is there something special about me?"

Ruan Nanzhu eyed him back. "What do you think?"

Lin Qiushi shook his head, uncomprehending.

Ruan Nanzhu, "you really don't feel like there's anything weird about you?"

Lin Qiushi, "no."

Ruan Nanzhu stood up. "If not then forget it." At this, he turned and left, leaving Lin Qiushi no further opportunity to ask. For some reason, Lin Qiushi felt that Ruan Nanzhu's mood had soured…

Cheng Qianli learned they were entering the ninth door as well. He was very worried; he even set up an altar in his room and began to seriously pray.

Lin Qiushi was even dragged over to light three incense sticks of his own.

"Please bless them to return safely." Cheng Qianli's manners seemed wholly pious.

Lin Qiushi didn't use to believe in such things. But the world inside the doors had completely turned his worldview upside down, so he didn't say anything disrespectful before the incense altar.

"I'm so scared." After the incense, Cheng Qianli sat on his bed, muttering to Lin Qiushi. "I'm just really, really scared."

"Don't be scared, it'll be alright." Lin Qiushi petted his head. Cheng Qianli was only sixteen; he was still half a kid. "Your Ruan-ge will be there."

"Mh," Cheng Qianli said. "I want to be stronger, so then, then I can…" At this point, he seemed a bit embarrassed.

Lin Qiushi asked, "so then you can what?"

Cheng Qianli said, "so then I can be the one protecting my brother for a change!" He puffed up his chest, looking proud.

Lin Qiushi smiled. "Mh, then you gotta work hard." Sometimes, Cheng Qianli could be so foolishly adorable.

Cheng Qianli said, "even though he has a bad temper, and he gives me the cold-shoulder all the time, he's my brother in the end, right?" He lied down on the bed, muttering to himself. "He looks exactly like me, after all…"

Lin Qiushi just sat silently listening on the side.

He honestly didn't quite understand the brotherly love Cheng Qianli spoke of. Even in his youth he'd not encountered much of a familial atmosphere, nor did he have any brothers or sisters. At twenty-six, he didn't even have a person he liked. As Lin Qiushi thought this, he suddenly found his life a bit regretful. If he died inside this door, there seemed to be a lot that he hadn't experienced.

The day of Cheng Yixie's door opening got closer and closer.

The atmosphere inside the mansion began to tense as well.

Besides Ruan Nanzhu, Cheng Yixie had the highest level door. Lin Qiushi roughly calculated Cheng Yixie's time in the doors, and discovered he would've been entering doors since he was eleven or twelve. To have survived so many doors at such a young age, Cheng Yixie really was incredible.

And his younger brother Cheng Qianli was only on door six; there must have been years between each of their first doors.

This time, Ruan Nanzhu didn't put Lin Qiushi in drag. While he was glad, there was, Lin Qiushi discovered, a thin thread of disappointment deep in his heart. When he noticed this disappointment he scared himself. He hadn't thought drag could be addictive.

Of course, Lin Qiushi very quickly processed and got rid of these disappointed feelings, since he really was glad he didn't have to pretend to be mute anymore. As for the matter of a fake voice—he still had not figured that out.

Days flew by, and soon, it was nearly time to enter the door.

The weather had also gradually gotten hot. After dinner, Lin Qiushi sat on the balcony cooling off, and saw Cheng Yixie standing in the garden downstairs. Cheng Yixie's expression was solemn, and there was a cigarette in his hand slowly being smoked.

Lin Qiushi watched him from high above, and after a while's thought, called out: "Cheng Yixie!"

Cheng Yixie looked up.

Lin Qiushi declared loudly, "minors shouldn't smoke."

Cheng Yixie furrowed his brow. He and Cheng Qianli were almost entirely identical, with the exception of that cold aura he gave off. Though he was young, that aura clearly let people know that this wasn't a person to be messed with. He listened to Lin Qiushi though, and really did put out the cigarette.

Lin Qiushi fished out a fistful of candy, and tossed them down from the second floor. "Eat these."

Colorful candies fell on the green grass like fireworks going off. They were actually quite pretty.

Cheng Yixie bent down. He picked one up, unwrapped it, and popped it into his mouth.

Lin Qiushi watched him, grinning. "Is it good? The purple one is grape flavored—" These were hard candies he ordered online, made from fruit juice. They tasted pretty good.

Cheng Yixie glanced once at him and didn't speak. He did carefully pick up all the candies however, and pocket them before walking away.

Watching him go, Lin Qiushi was pretty happy. Though Cheng Yixie entered the doors before he did, Cheng Yixie was also still a kid in his eyes, not even eighteen yet.

The day before going in, Ruan Nanzhu put on his dress. The three all wore that special bracelet, and began waiting for the door to come.

Cheng Qianli grew anxious, pacing laps up and down the house.

In the end Cheng Yixie couldn't take it anymore, frowning as he said, "quit circling, I'm going dizzy just looking at you."

Cheng Qianli, wounded, "I can't even circle around?"

Cheng Yixie, "no."

Cheng Qianli, "…hmph. Well no, I'm gonna circle." Though he said that, he still obediently took a seat back on the sofa, picking up Toast nearby to viciously rub at.

Dizzy with the rubbing, Toast blinked its big black eyes, howling in woe.

"Stop torturing it," Cheng Yixie spoke again.

Cheng Qianli, "ah, you're too much! You won't let me do this, you won't let me do that—"

Cheng Yixie didn't make a single sound in reply, just stared expressionlessly back at Cheng Qianli. And so the two faced off for ten, eleven seconds, before Cheng Qianli fell unerringly to defeat once more. With tragic eyes he released Toast's round little butt and watched the dog run away.

Cheng Yixie looked at his watch.

Cheng Qianli saw this, and only grew more agitated. His lips moved soundlessly for a bit, until, almost inaudibly, he squeezed out, "you have to come back."

Cheng Yixie glanced up once at him.

"Hey, I'm talking to you here!" Cheng Yixie said. "Are you listening to me, Cheng Yixie, you have to come back." It seemed to have taken him a while to work up the courage to say this. "You have to come back!"

Cheng Yixie made a single, faint sound of agreement.

And so Cheng Qianli was satisfied, murmuring some other fussy orders.

As the two brothers interacted, Lin Qiushi was seated right beside them. He saw with his own eyes the corners of Cheng Yixie's mouth tick up as Cheng Qianli mumbled, though the motion was faint and only momentary, easily taken as an illusion.

The door came the next evening.

After eating, Lin Qiushi had gone back to his room.

He sat in front of his computer, and was just about to press the on button, when a very peculiar feeling came over his body. It was a feeling he was familiar with—the door had opened.

Lin Qiushi got up and opened his bedroom door. He wasn't surprised at all to see that the twelve metal doors had appeared in the hallway. Of them, eight were sealed off. The other three could not be opened.

The only one that could open was Cheng Yixie's ninth door.

Lin Qiushi came to the door, and tugged it open—the scenery around him twisted, and Lin Qiushi appeared on a wide paved road.

As he took in his surroundings, he looked a bit shocked, because it wasn't some desolate wilderness about him, but a full commercial street. Colorful signs hung from either side of the road, and though it was currently late and most of the shops were closed, it was still easy to picture the bustling street by day.

The path beneath his feet was very smooth. Lin Qiushi followed it, and saw a high rise that stretched into the clouds. A special coating covered the building's exterior, making it look like it was built out of mirrors; it absorbed all the light from around it, and was attention-catching even in the dimming night.

For some reason, as he looked at this high rise, a term came to Lin Qiushi's mind: phototaxis.

Phototaxis was a type of biological habit observed in both animals and plants. The most obvious one was how insects rush at a light source at night, even if that light was a flame that would incinerate them.

Humans were animals too, Lin Qiushi thought. In the dark of night, they would always walk toward the light source they see. With no consideration for what awaited them at the other end.

The doors to the high rise were open. Lin Qiushi slowly entered, and saw eight or nine people standing in the lobby. These people had already split into groups. Seeing Lin Qiushi walk in, most took on assessing expressions.

This time, Lin Qiushi saw no newbies out of their depths.

Considering the ninth door's difficulty, if there really was a newbie, then Lin Qiushi suspected they’d been dragged into this door literally seconds before their death.

Looking about, Lin Qiushi didn't find whom he was looking for. So he took a seat on a random sofa and began observing the situation around him.

Plus him, there were nine. Five men and four women, split into roughly three groups. They were likely all old hands at this; no one was pretending not to recognize the others. Instead they were all whispering, quietly discussing the matter of this door.

Lin Qiushi sat on the sofa for a while, until he saw two people come in. One was tall and one was short. The tall one was a woman in a long skirt, the short one was a cool-faced young man.

Though their faces were completely different, Lin Qiushi could still recognize them by their clothing and looks—it was Ruan Nanzhu and Cheng Yixie.

The two also saw Lin Qiushi on the sofa and approached.

"Everyone's here?" Lin Qiushi asked.

"Not yet, I don't think." Ruan Nanzhu sat down next to Lin Qiushi. "There are still some people looking around outside. They're probably waiting for their teammates."

At this, Lin Qiushi couldn't help but be impressed by Ruan Nanzhu's skills of observation. It seemed that not minutes after coming here, he'd already collected pretty much all the information they needed on the people around them.

Indeed, after about three minutes, two more people came in from the outside, also a man and a woman. The moment they came in, they headed straight for a corner.

When Lin Qiushi saw where they went he was surprised. "They… have five to one team?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "most likely."

"Is there advantage in numbers inside the doors?" Lin Qiushi tried to think this through, but something felt off.

"To some extent, yes," Ruan Nanzhu said, leaning back on the sofa. "The more people you bring, the more death conditions you can cross out, right?"

Lin Qiushi, "…"

Ruan Nanzhu eyed the corner, and laughed something cold. "Some people will do anything to survive."

Some people, in order to rule out death conditions, purposely brought a lot of newbies into the doors. The newbies didn't understand anything, and were very easily met with accidents inside. Of course, accidents happening to them was fine. To those who'd brought them in, it was even a good thing—they filled up the daily death quotas, after all. According to the rules inside, the number of people who could die each day was limited, so those people were actually safer like this.

Lin Qiushi hadn't thought things could be done this way. "And those newbies are still willing to come in?"

"Why wouldn't they be willing?" Ruan Nanzhu replied lazily. "There are always people who want to strike it rich in a single bite."

Who didn't want to forgo everything in the middle and jump straight through the ninth door? Risk and reward were usually in equal balance; to gain something, you had to give up something.

Such was living.

The group was finally all assembled. There were seventeen people in total, split into roughly five or six groups. The largest group among them was the one with five people. Lin Qiushi had a clear feeling that, of the five, their leader was the woman with the unkind expression.

With everybody gathered in the lobby, the hubbub grew louder.

At this moment, a person in a bellhop's uniform came over from the elevator. In his hand was a stack of keycards, and he smiled at the group in the lobby.

"I do beg your pardon, we've kept everybody waiting," the bellhop said. "These are the key cards to your rooms."

He began passing out the keycards.

Someone in the group asked, "how many per room? Are these single or standard rooms?"

"They're standard rooms," the bellhop said, and smiled. "Red card rooms have one large bed, white card rooms are doubles, and green card rooms can fit three, though one will have to sleep on the sofa." His was was soft and gentle. "Welcome to your vacation here, I hope all of you have a great time."

So they were supposed to be tourists. Lin Qiushi's heart jumped a beat.

"When does our vacation end?" the leader of the five-person group suddenly spoke. "Are there any tourist destinations nearby?"

The bellhop smiled. "I will give everyone a travel guide tomorrow, and on it, all the travel destinations will be marked." He finished passing out the keycards. "Please rest well tonight, everyone."

Lin Qiushi got up and fetched them a green card. The bellhop said green card rooms could fit three. It was perfect for their trio.

The room cards gradually traded hands, and the crowd dispersed on their own.

Lin Qiushi, Ruan Nanzhu, and Cheng Yixie's room was on the thirty-fourth floor. The floor was thickly carpeted, and from the hallways exuded a thick scent of burnt incense.

The lights were very dim. When they got to the room and stuck the keycard into the power slot, all the lights inside came on.

Lin Qiushi went to the window and looked out from the glass. He saw a darkened city, all of it swathed in dead silence. Not even a streetlight could be seen—though when he came in from the outside, Lin Qiushi had seen the streetlights turned on.

Ruan Nanzhu said, "this room is very interesting."

Lin Qiushi turned around. "Hm?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "there are mirrors everywhere."

Taking a look around, Lin Qiushi discovered there were indeed many mirrors inside the room. Most unbelievable was the one on the floor.

At the sight of the mirrors, Lin Qiushi couldn't help but think of that "with bronze as mirror" line in the hint. He sensed that the key had to do with the mirrors, but the hint wasn't enough, and he couldn't yet concretely capture it.

Cheng Yixie stared at the mirror beneath his feet, and was silent for a long time. Only when Lin Qiushi was about to walk away did he suddenly and quietly say: "This is a two-way mirror."

Lin Qiushi's face froze.

Cheng Yixie spoke very slowly: "People downstairs can see into our room."

At this, Ruan Nanzhu suddenly looked down at his skirt. "Then haven't I been exposed?"

Cheng Yixie, "…"

Lin Qiushi, "…"

Ruan Nanzhu, "upon closer thought, I'm actually a bit embarrassed."

Lin Qiushi, "…" If you're so embarrassed why are you pulling your skirt up higher…

Author's Note:

Hello everyone, I'm Xi Zixu's draft folder. For the next few days I'll be bringing folks new chapters. As for Xi Zixu, she got her hand chewed off when she washed her cat yesterday.

[Ch. 70] | [Ch. 72]

[charmsandhexes]

a little bit of petunia's perspective

petunia dursley. where to begin? she loved her younger sister, she really really did. she was ecstatic when she heard she was going to have one! she stood by her mother’s hospital bed, all one-hundred-and-eleven centimetres oozing excitement as she begged to carry her newborn sister.

“lily!” she exclaimed, when her parents had begun debating over ‘acacia’ and 'scaevola.’ “we’ve got to call her lily!”

she didn’t want her little sibling being bullied over a name as she constantly was, and her parents, never seeing the four-year-old so adamant about anything, agreed. her little sister was eventually named 'lily acacia evans,’ a name far better than 'petunia deutzia evans,’ in the latter’s opinion.

sometimes she wondered why her mother gave petunia such a horrid name, when her own was 'deutzia.’

❃ ❃ ❃

when lily, at a year old, started doing things like summoning a teddy bear to her crib even though it was over three metres away, lying on the floor, petunia knew it was odd. she heard horror stories, from the teenaged boys that went to their church, about exorcisms. she didn’t think her parents would actually do such a thing when lily was already their pride and joy, but … it couldn’t hurt to be careful?

so she kept it secret. petunia picked up the teddy and placed it in lily's crib. petunia broke the crib while moving it, and lily got out. she got in trouble, a lot, but she felt that lily being odd wasn't something good. she had to help her little sister hide it!

but then lily went to school. she got top marks in everything, while petunia was struggling to remain in the top ten. lily, with her prodigal voice and athletic talent, the all-rounded student, constantly outshined her elder sister, and petunia couldn't help but resent her slightly for it.

lily was her sister though, so petunia tried to bear being second-best. anyway, she had something over her sister. she, at least, was normal. she didn't have strange things happening wherever she went. she didn't have something to hide.

❃ ❃ ❃

meeting that snape boy changed everything. he called her little sister a witch, saying it was a compliment! and even though petunia knew magic was a child's belief, she couldn't help but notice how it would all make sense. the way lily could do things she couldn't without getting hurt... the magic explained it all.

"see? it's fine now!" lily exclaimed happily, not wary of that spinner's end boy at all. " we don't need to be afraid anymore! it's not scary, it's wonderful!"

petunia couldn't believe it, though. she couldn't! it would mean that lily would always be superior and petunia would always be left out and second best. lily would always go on to do things that petunia couldn't be apart of. so, she sniffed in disdain, saying that snape being from spinner's end of all places obviously meant he wasn't trustworthy.

❃ ❃ ❃

"if magic was as real as you say, why can't you just magic yourself a better house?" petunia sneered one day.

once, she used to be consumed with guilt for picking on a boy four years her junior, but now she was too bitter and afraid to care. it helped that he was a right git to her.

snape spluttered and shot her a glare. "why should i answer to you? you're just a filthy muggle!"

that day she resolved to never so much as glance at him again.

❃ ❃ ❃

petunia didn't remember when exactly she stopped being nice to lily, but when she found out that lily and that snape boy went through her letter from albus dumbledore, she promised to never spare a kind word to either of them ever again.

they looked down on me and disrespected my privacy! they don't deserve any kindness, she told herself.

mr and mrs evans tried valiantly for years to patch up the relationship between their eldest and youngest, realizing that while lily's abilities caused the sisters' fractured relationship, their constant doting and praise was what planted the seeds. petunia refused and shot down every attempt of theirs, throwing herself into gossip and magazines, slowly rising through the ranks at school. her grades were never the best, but they were hardly mediocre, and she was the most popular girl there. she constantly spread rumours about her younger sister when she would get questioned on lily's whereabouts, and lily got a nasty shock when she came home for christmas in her first-year.

petunia grinned nastily and ran up to her room when lily came home, seeing her almost in tears, saying the younger brother of petunia's best friend was calling her a freak.

lily used to babysit the boy.

an hour later found petunia in tears, disgusted with herself for causing lily so much pain and taking joy in it.

she's not the freak, i am! what else explains the fact that she has magic and i don't? what else explains the sick pleasure i just got when i made her cry?

petunia's parents spoke to her once lily calmed down and was out of the house once more, and she was in huge trouble. she wasn't allowed to go out for the rest of the summer. while she acted like she wasn't remorseful at all, petunia knew she deserved it.

❃ ❃ ❃

one day, when lily was still off in that magic school of hers, petunia met vernon dursley. while his physical body and personality left much to be desired, he was rich. or well, going to be, anyway. he was set to take over his father's drill company, grunnings and then, he would be loaded. so, while she didn't find anything remotely attractive about him, when he asked her to be his girlfriend, she agreed.

he turned out to be a right git, but he showered her in riches. her grades had gone down and she would never make it into a university—not with all the prejudice against women, too—so she stuck with him.

when he asked her to marry him, she agreed, and ashamed of it all, petunia didn't invite lily. she'd seen her boyfriend. he was rich, but he, at least wasn't a ponce.

lily, apparently wanting to prove again that she was better than her sister, invited petunia to her wedding.

petunia didn't go.

❃ ❃ ❃

a year later found a little baby with eyes just like hers on petunia’s doorstep. she carried him in, opening the sealed letter and immediately recognizing the handwriting as albus dumbledore’s. she was angry at first, but after reading it and realizing her little sister was dead her anger made way for grief.

she promised herself to be kinder to harry, but all that rumour spreading backfired. now, it was either kindness to harry or divorce and the streets.

petunia picked herself every time. she hated herself for it.

[raw-lesbian-energy]

Burnout

[Image description: Anonymous said

Prompt: a t word fic between young Marcy and Caroline where Caroline comes over to babysit Marcy one day only to find her stressed out because of her families high expectations for her and tickles her to cheer her up.]

Anon, sweetie, darling; I love this idea and everything about it. I had way too much fun writing this and I really hope you enjoy it too!!

——

Summary: Caroline learns that Marcy’s parents are overworking her again and goes to help her little sister take a break and avoid burning out.

Fandom: Amphibia (The Wild Soul AU)

Pairing: None (Marcanne implied) (if any of y’all tag this shipping Marcy and Caroline I will run you over with my car)

Features: Self-Insert

Word Count: 1,248

Warnings: This is a tickle fic! If that’s not your thing, just keep scrolling.

—————————————————————

Knock-knock-knock!

“It’s open.”

Marcy didn’t even glance up as her bedroom door was opened, her eyes fixed on the study papers in front of her. She was trying to memorize each and every one of them, but the task was proving to be much harder than she hoped.

“Hey Mar-Mar.” Caroline’s voice spoke behind her, and soon enough, the teen was leaning over her shoulder. “Notice anything- wait, what’s all this?” Caroline looked over the papers scattered on Marcy’s desk, picking up one of them and reading it over. This prompted Marcy to look up, which is when she noticed the teen’s hair was no longer long and plain brown, but shaved in an undercut with bright purple bangs.

“Quadratic formula-?” Caroline’s eyes were wide in disbelief. “Marcy, why are you studying high school level math? You’re eleven.” The question brought Marcy back to reality, going from looking at Caroline’s new hair to staring sheepishly at her knees.

“I…wanted to get ahead.” She lied. Caroline didn’t buy it for a second, setting the paper back down on the desk and leaning on it with one arm.

“Wanna try and tell me the truth this time?” She asked, her tone slightly firmer than before. Marcy couldn’t even bring herself to look up, guilt swirling like a storm in her stomach.

“I…my parents are mad.” She admitted at last. “I got a bad grade, so they told me if I didn’t focus on studying, I wouldn’t get to see my friends anymore.” Caroline’s expression softened immediately, a gleam of confusion appearing in her eyes.

“Wait, you got a bad grade?” She echoed. “What was it? Can I see?” Marcy’s eyes held nothing but shame as she grabbed one of the many papers on her desk, holding it out for the teen to take. Caroline gently took the paper from her hand, looking down and reading over what had been printed on it.

“…This is a ninety six.” She said at last. “Marcy, this is four points away from a perfect score, and your parents are saying it’s bad?” Marcy nodded slowly, still unable to meet her older sister’s gaze. Caroline let out a sigh, kneeling down next to her younger sister and putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Marbles, I have to be real with you.” She said. “Your parents…are completely nuts.” Marcy snapped up at the statement, looking over at Caroline with wide eyes.

“What? No!” She argued. “T-They just want to make sure I succeed. They might be a little harsh sometimes, but-” she stopped mid-sentence as she had turned back to her notes, only for Caroline to swipe her arm over the desk and knock all the papers to the floor.

“Nope, no more studying for you.” She said sternly. “You’re taking on way more than any eleven-year-old ever should. You need a break.” Before Marcy could even speak, hands hooked under her arms and hoisted her out of the chair, earning a squeak of surprise. She squirmed in the teen’s grip, letting out small giggles from where she was being held.

“Carolihine, put me down!” She whined, kicking her feet as she was pulled into Caroline’s lap. The teen had taken a seat on Marcy’s bed, crossing her legs and keeping a firm yet gentle hold on her little sister.

“Uh oh, Mar-Mar.” Caroline said, a mischievous smirk spreading across her face. “You’re too stressed out; you know what happens when you’re too stressed?” Marcy soon felt her sister’s hands resting on her sides, eliciting a squeak and more giggling from the young girl.

“Nohohoho!” Her voice shot up in pitch as she felt fingers squeeze her sides, turning the small giggling fit into full-out laughter. “Carolihihine!”

“Caroline? Who’s Caroline?” The teen feigned ignorance. “I’m the tickle monster! And I’m here to tickle all that stress away!” Marcy’s cheeks turned pink at the word, her legs kicking out uselessly as Caroline tickled up and down her sides. She gently dragged her nails over the girl’s torso, drumming them against her stomach and earning squealy laughs in response.

“No fahahair!” Marcy barely managed to speak, curling up in attempts to protect her ticklish tum from her sister’s attack. Caroline wasn’t deterred though, instead sneaking her hands back and working them up to her little sister’s ribs.

“Aww, look at how cute you are!” Caroline cooed, playing Marcy’s ribs like a piano. “The tickle monster approves!” Marcy’s face went red at her older sister’s teasing, hiding her face in her hands to try and cover up the embarrassment.

“I’m nohohohott!” She squealed, shaking her head frantically. Caroline couldn’t help but chuckle at the reaction, continuing to spider over her rib cage until she snuck one hand under Marcy’s arm.

The screech that escaped the small girl practically shook the room. If Caroline didn’t have her hands stuck, she would’ve covered her ears, but it was too late for that. So instead, she kept up her ticklish assault, managing to get both hands under Marcy’s arms and earning frantic, squealing laughter in response.

“C-CUT IT OHOHOUT!” Marcy howled, no longer hiding her face as she tossed her head back. Tears had started to form at the corners of her eyes, and as Caroline heard some of her laughter turn to wheezes, she slowly let up so Marcy could breathe.

“So…how do you feel?” She asked, a small smile on her face as if she hadn’t just tickled her sister half to death. Marcy leaned back against Caroline’s chest, slowly catching her breath as she glared up at the teen.

“I will…get you…someday.” She panted. Caroline chuckled, ruffling her hair softly.

“Sure, kiddo.” She replied. “But I was asking about your stress. Is it gone?” Marcy paused at the question, taking a moment and realizing that she did actually feel better. Whether it was because of the distraction or spending time with her big sister she didn’t know, but she felt better nonetheless.

“Yeah, I actually do feel a lot better.” She said. “Thanks, sis.” Caroline grinned, giving Marcy a hug in response.

“I’m happy to help, Marcy.” She told her. “And I’ll be sure to talk to your parents about this, okay?” Marcy nodded into Caroline’s shoulder as she returned the hug, a soft smile still on her face. As long as she had Caroline’s support, she knew things would be okay.

“Oh, nice hair, by the way.” Marcy piped up, pulling back. Caroline chuckled, fluffing her own hair momentarily.

“Oh yeah, I thought I could use a new look.” She replied. “After all, I’m eighteen; I’m an adult now.” Marcy gave her a lopsided smile.

“It definitely makes you look like…you.” She said. Caroline raised an eyebrow, picking up on the subtext easily.

“Says the girl with a crush on her best friend.” She countered. Marcy’s face went pink.

“I do not have a crush on Anne!” She argued. Caroline’s smirk only grew.

“I never named Anne.” She told her. Marcy fell silent.

“I- well-” she tried, but her words died in her throat. Caroline looked back up at her with the same mischievous glint, making Marcy’s blush worsen.

“You know,” the teen mused, “the tickle monster doesn’t like people denying their feelings, either.” Before Marcy could move, Caroline scooped her up again, tickling away and sending her little sister right back into a giggling mess.

The afternoon consisted of playful banter and tickle fights, but if Marcy was honest, she wouldn’t have had it any other way.