#(it's like...less than an hour until 1am)

[mrsfancyferrari]

Fragments of Hope

Summary: You had an argument with Daniel and you decided to leave him for a while. What you didn't know is that he can't live without you.

Song: MILLION DOLLAR BABY - Tommy Richman

Author’s note: I can't write short stories to save my life. I hope you enjoy this long journey which may take a full day to read. Please like, reblog and share this! <3

Word count: 4.6k

"Daniel, I feel like you're prioritizing your racing career over our relationship. It seems like you don't care about me anymore." You said, stressing over the fact that Daniel didn't understand.

"I understand why you might feel that way, but racing is my passion and it's important to me. I want you to know that you're also a priority in my life." Daniel replied.

"Well it certainly does feel like it sometimes," You muttered, standing up from your seat.

"Y/N please listen to me," Daniel pleaded, standing up to follow you.

"No you listen to me!" you yelled, turning around to face him. "Everyday you stay in the paddock until 1AM or later when you come home and then you leave at 8AM to go back to work. Daniel, I have less than 7 hours to spend time with you and it's mostly used on you sleeping,"

"I understand that it may feel that way, but racing is not just a career for me. It's my passion," Daniel pleaded, his voice filled with sincerity. "I love you more than words can express, and I want to make it work between us."

"How Daniel, tell me how you are going to fix this because right now, I don't feel like I'm in a relationship with you but a friend who helps you."

Daniel stood there, his eyes filled with regret and realization. He had never seen you so upset before, and your words struck a chord deep within him. He knew that he had to make a change, to find a way to balance his racing career with your needs and desires.

"That's what I thought," You muttered, taking your phone before heading for the door, "Don't follow me,"

Feeling frustrated and hurt, you stormed out of the house and went to your best friend's house for the night.

As you're on your way to your friend's place, your phone dies, leaving you disconnected from Daniel. However, when you finally arrive at your friend's house, you decide to check your phone for any missed messages.

Opening your photos or messages, you notice several messages and calls from Daniel. One that read, "I'm sorry for what happened. Are you at your friend's house?"

You take a deep breath, feeling a mix of anger and sadness.

Despite your hurt feelings, you decide to text him back, "Yes, I'm at my friend's house. I need some time to think and process everything. Please respect my space for now."

It's late at night when you find yourself sitting with your friend, doing your skin care routine together. You decide to share your situation with her, expecting some reassurance.

As you pour your heart out to your friend, she listens attentively, her eyes filled with empathy. "I can understand why you're feeling hurt and frustrated," she says, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"It's important to prioritize your own needs and emotions in a relationship. You deserve someone who can dedicate time and effort to nurturing your connection."

"But I have got to remind you how in love Daniel looks when he's with you," your friend said, her voice filled with sincerity.

"I've seen the way his eyes light up when he talks about you, and the way he always puts your happiness first. Maybe this situation is a wake-up call for him to prioritize your relationship and find a better balance. Give him a chance to make things right, but also remember to listen to your own needs and make decisions that are best for you."

You nod, appreciating your friend's perspective and words of encouragement. "You're right," you reply, "I do see how much Daniel cares about me. I'll take some time to reflect on what I need and have an open conversation with him."

The next day, you and Daniel barely exchange any words. It feels like there's a tension between the two of you, but you try to ignore it.

As the race day approaches, you find yourself watching Daniel's race. Unfortunately, he doesn't perform well, finishing in 19th place. The disappointment weighs heavily on both of you and knew that Daniel would be very disappointed in himself, but you decide to give it some time.

You were always the one to comfort him after a bad race, reminding him that everyone has off days and that his performance does not define his worth as an athlete. You would assure him that you still believed in him and that you're proud of the effort he put in.

Feeling conflicted, you decide to reach out to Daniel after his disappointing race. Despite being in your friend's house, you understand that he is most likely in the paddock as usual.

You send him a text expressing your support and reminding him that you believe in his abilities, hoping that it will provide some comfort during this challenging time. . . .

Days turn into weeks, and the tension between you and Daniel remains. One night, you receive a strange picture from Lando, a close friend of Daniel's and you.

In the photo, you see Daniel, his usually composed and determined demeanor replaced with disheveled hair and glassy eyes. His grip on the lamppost is tight, as if it's the only thing keeping him upright.

The streetlights cast an eerie glow on his face, highlighting the exhaustion and despair etched in his features. It's a stark contrast to the vibrant and confident person you've known him to be.

As you study the image, a wave of concern washes over you. You can't help but wonder what has led Daniel to this point.

Is it the mounting pressure of his racing career? The strain on your relationship? Or something deeper that you're unaware of?

Unable to bear the weight of uncertainty any longer, you decide to video call Lando, hoping to gain some insight into what has been happening with Daniel lately.

"Lando, what's going on?" you asked worriedly, your voice filled with concern as you hoped to gain some insight into what has been happening with Daniel lately.

"Oh yeah hey Y/N, your boyfriend is really drunk and he is hugging a lamppost with all of his strength," Lando explained, showing his face and waving at the camera.

"I've been trying to get him to come back to the house, but he's been pretty stubborn. I think he's been struggling with the disappointment from the race and it's just gotten to him."

"Let me see him,"

As Lando shifted the camera towards Daniel, you could see the toll that his recent struggles had taken on him. His usually vibrant eyes were bloodshot and glazed over, filled with a mixture of exhaustion and anguish.

His disheveled hair clung to his sweaty forehead, and his once confident posture had slouched, as if weighted down by the burden he carried.

It was clear that he was in a state of deep distress, and your heart ached at the sight of him clinging to the lamppost, seeking solace in his own thoughts.

"Daniel baby," you said in a gentle tone that you would only use for him. Daniel perked up, looking around for you, his eyes scanning the surroundings until they finally met yours on the video call.

There was a glimmer of recognition and relief in his eyes as he realized you were there, offering him a lifeline of support and understanding amidst his turmoil.

With a shaky voice, Daniel whispered, "Y/N, is that you?" His words carried a mix of vulnerability and hope, as if he was desperate for your presence to validate his struggles and offer him the comfort he desperately needed.

Your heart racing, you didn't waste a second. Without another thought, you hung up the video call and rushed out the door, fueled by a determination to be by Daniel's side.

As you sprinted towards where Lando had described, the worry and fear in your chest propelled you forward, your mind filled with a single thought - you needed to reach Daniel, to hold him, and to let him know that he wasn't alone in his pain.

"Lando, make sure that he stays there and share your location," you instructed, knowing that finding Daniel quickly was of utmost importance.

The urgency in your voice reflected the depth of your concern as you relied on Lando to keep an eye on him until you arrived.

"It's not like he's letting go of this lamppost any time soon," Lando joked

You couldn't help but chuckle at Lando's attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, I'll make sure to give him a little nudge if he's still holding on when I get there," you replied, grateful for the small moment of levity amidst the seriousness of the situation.

Lando chuckled and said, "Just make sure it's a gentle nudge. We don't want him falling over before you get there. I'll keep an eye on him for you, Y/N. He's in good hands."

"Also just make sure you bring some extra strength with you. I have a feeling Daniel might need it," he said, his voice laced with concern.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, Lando," you assured him, your voice filled with determination. "Thank you for watching over him. I know he's in good hands with you."

When you finally locate Daniel, you approach him cautiously. He looks disheveled and confused, unaware of the picture you received from Lando.

As soon as you got off the car and walked over to the two of them, Daniel's eyes were on you. His gaze held a mixture of relief, anticipation, and a glimmer of hope, as if he had been waiting for you to arrive and bring him the solace he desperately needed.

"Thank goodness you're here Y/N," Lando said smiling at you before giving you a hug.

"How is he?" You whispered to Lando, glancing at Daniel whose eyes were still trained on you.

"He's in bad shape," Lando whispered, his worry evident in his voice. "He's refusing to drink water, he's been vomiting, and he has a high fever. But no matter what, he won't let go of that lamppost."

Your heart sank as you took in the state Daniel was in. The sight of him clinging to the lamppost, refusing to let go despite his deteriorating health, only heightened your concern.

"I'll go try and talk to him."

"Good luck but you probably won't need it," Lando replied.

As you approached Daniel, you couldn't help but notice the hollowed look in his eyes, as if the light within him had faded. His once vibrant and charismatic demeanor was replaced by a sense of weariness and defeat.

His disheveled hair and trembling hands were clear signs of the toll this ordeal had taken on him, and it was heartbreaking to see him in such a vulnerable state.

The sight of him clinging desperately to the lamppost, his knuckles white with tension, revealed a level of desperation that struck a chord within you.

Nevertheless, you mustered up all the courage you had and gently reached out to touch his shoulder, hoping to break through the walls he had built around himself.

"Daniel, it's me Y/N, your girlfriend," you said slowly, your voice filled with love and concern.

His eyes flickered for a moment, as if trying to grasp onto a distant memory, before a glimmer of recognition appeared. "Y/N," he whispered hoarsely, his grip on the lamppost loosening slightly.

"I'm here, Daniel," you replied softly, your heart breaking at the sight of his vulnerability. "I won't leave you alone. We'll get through this together."

You placed your palm against Daniel's forehead, feeling the heat radiating from his feverish skin. Concern washed over you as you realized just how sick he was. "We need to get you to a doctor, Daniel," you said, your voice tinged with urgency.

"No doctor," he slurred, his words barely audible. "I don't want their help. Just stay with me, Y/N."

As Daniel's words trailed off, tears welled up in his eyes and cascaded down his cheeks. Each tear carried the weight of his pain and the fear of losing himself and you.

You held him tightly, offering a comforting embrace as his tears soaked into your shoulder, a silent testament to the depth of his despair.

"Daniel," you said gently, wiping away his tears with your thumb, "I understand that you're scared and don't want anyone's help. But I can't stand to see you suffer like this. The doctors can help you get better. They have the knowledge and resources to treat you. Please, let me take you to the hospital. I'll be right by your side the whole time, I promise."

Daniel looked at you with a mix of desperation and gratitude, his trembling hand reaching out to hold yours tightly. "Okay," he whispered, his voice filled with surrender, "take me to the hospital."

You nodded, grateful for Lando's support. Slowly and carefully, with Lando's help, you guided Daniel to Lando's car. As you settled into the back seats, Daniel's trembling hand still tightly holding yours, Lando started the engine and drove off towards the hospital, the weight of the situation heavy in the air.

Daniel leaned against you, his body weak and trembling. Each breath he took seemed to require immense effort, his chest rising and falling in shallow gasps.

The gravity of the situation weighed heavily on your heart as you held him close, praying for his strength to endure just a little longer until you reached the hospital.

"I'm so sorry Y/N," he whispered while taking in sharp breaths, his voice strained with pain.

"What do you mean baby?" you whispered, observing every movement Daniel made.

"I'm sorry.... for.... for not being.... good enough," Daniel stuttered, tears streaming down his face.

Your heart shattered at his words, and you squeezed his hand tighter, your voice filled with love and conviction. "Daniel, please don't say that. You are more than enough, and I love you just the way you are. We'll get through this together, I promise."

"I... love you," Daniel muttered. "Please don't leave... me."

"I love you too, Daniel," you replied, tears welling in your eyes. "I will never leave your side. We're in this together, and we will fight through it. You are not alone."

The rest of the journey was mostly silent, as you focused on keeping Daniel awake and alert, gently talking to him and urging him to stay awake. However, Daniel's exhaustion and pain were overwhelming, and he longed for the comfort of sleep.

Despite his struggle, he fought to stay awake, knowing that reaching the hospital was crucial for his survival.

As you pulled up to the hospital, Lando's prearranged call had ensured that a medical team was waiting at the entrance with a stretcher for Daniel. They quickly and efficiently transferred him onto the stretcher, their urgency matching the gravity of the situation.

You watched with a mix of relief and anxiety as they whisked Daniel away, knowing that he was now in the hands of the medical professionals who could provide him with the immediate care he needed.

You and Lando waited in the waiting room, your legs bouncing against the floor in a nervous rhythm. The minutes felt like hours as you anxiously scanned the hallway for any sign of the medical team returning with updates on Daniel's condition. The weight of uncertainty hung heavy in the air, and all you could do was hope and pray for positive news.

"I couldn't help but listen in your conversation in the car," Lando started. "Did something happen before today?"

You took a deep breath, your voice trembling slightly as you replied, "Yes, Daniel and I have been going through a difficult time lately."

"Excuse me, were you the ones who brought Mr. Ricciardo?" the doctor asked, looking at you and Lando. Your heart raced as you nodded, eager for any updates on Daniel's condition.

"Yes, we brought him," you replied anxiously. "How is he? Is he going to be okay?" The doctor's face softened as they looked at you both with empathy. "We're doing everything we can for Mr. Ricciardo. He's stable for now, but we need to run some tests and monitor him closely. It's too early to say anything definitive, but we're hopeful."

"Can we at least see him?" Lando asked on your behalf, his voice filled with concern. The doctor nodded sympathetically, understanding your need to be by Daniel's side during this critical time.

"Yes, you can see him, but please keep in mind that he needs rest and quiet. Follow me."

As you followed the doctor down the hallway, a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts raced through your mind. Fear, hope, and a desperate longing to see Daniel battled within you, creating a tumultuous storm of anticipation.

You clung to the doctor's words of hope, praying that they would ring true and that Daniel would pull through this ordeal.

As you entered Daniel's hospital room, you were taken aback by his appearance. His usually vibrant and energetic demeanor had been replaced by a pale and weakened figure lying motionless on the bed.

The sight of him hooked up to machines and monitors sent a pang of sadness and worry through your heart. Tubes and wires were connected to his body, a stark reminder of the severity of his condition.

Despite the sterile and clinical environment, the room was filled with an overwhelming sense of vulnerability and fragility.

The beeping of the machines provided a haunting soundtrack to the room, punctuating the silence that hung heavily in the air. Daniel's closed eyes gave no indication of his awareness of your presence, and you couldn't help but feel a profound sense of helplessness.

"I'll leave you to it." The doctor muttered, closing the door and leaving you and Lando in the room.

The atmosphere in the room was heavy with a mix of sorrow and uncertainty. As you stood there, surrounded by the beeping machines and the stillness of Daniel's presence, the weight of the situation sank deep into your being.

It was a somber reminder of the fragility of life and the powerlessness you felt in the face of it all.

You sat down beside Daniel, gently taking his hand in yours. The touch of his cold skin sent a shiver down your spine, a stark contrast to the warmth and vitality he once exuded. As you sat there, you couldn't help but silently will him to fight, to overcome whatever obstacles lay ahead.

"This is all my fault," you muttered, silently crying onto Daniel's hand, overwhelmed by guilt and regret. You couldn't help but blame yourself for the situation, questioning every decision and action that led to this moment.

The weight of guilt and regret pressed heavily upon you as you sat beside Daniel, crying silently onto his hand. Every decision and action leading up to this moment played on a loop in your mind, tormenting you with thoughts of self-blame and what-ifs.

The emotions were overwhelming, and you couldn't help but wonder if you could have done something differently to prevent this.

"It's not your fault," Daniel strained, his voice weak but filled with reassurance. You quickly looked up, astonishment and relief flooding your eyes as you saw him awake.

"I'll leave it up to you guys," Lando said as he left the room and left you both having no chance to hear him as he left.

"Does it hurt?" you muttered.

"No but it hurts that you're crying," Daniel muttered, slowly raising his hand to wipe your tears, "It's not your fault,"

"I shouldn't have left like that, I distracted you before your race and now this," you said, your voice filled with remorse and self-blame. Daniel's weak smile broke through the heaviness in the room as he gently squeezed your hand.

"Don't blame yourself," he whispered, his words carrying a sense of forgiveness and understanding.

"I shouldn't have treated you like that for you to leave the house," Daniel stated, his voice filled with sincerity. "I promise to focus more on our relationship and prioritize our happiness above all else."

"You don't have to," you muttered.

"But I will, I promise."

"You know," Daniel began, his voice growing stronger, "I've had a lot of time to think while I was lying here. And I realized that life is too short for us to hold onto regrets and blame ourselves for things that are out of our control. We can't change the past, but we can choose how we move forward from here."

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time they were tears of gratitude and hope. "You're right," you whispered, your voice filled with a mix of relief and determination.

"Can you get in here with me? I miss having you beside me when I sleep," Daniel muttered, his voice filled with longing and vulnerability.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure if it was appropriate, but ultimately decided to climb into the hospital bed and snuggle up beside him, finding comfort in the warmth of his embrace.

"Are you comfortable?" you whispered, laying against Daniel's chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

"More than ever," he replied, wrapping his arms around you tightly, as if never wanting to let go.

As you kept quiet, tracing Daniel's tattoos slowly, you marveled at the stories they told, each inked line representing a moment in his life. It was a silent act of love and connection, a way for you to understand him on a deeper level without words.

This was how most of your nights would end, with you tracing over Daniel's tattoos while he tenderly kissed the top of your head and rubbed your back. It was a comforting routine that brought you both a sense of peace and intimacy, allowing you to express your love for each other without the need for words.

In those quiet moments, you felt a deep connection and understood that the stories etched on his skin were a part of him, just as you were a part of each other's lives.

"Will you come to live with me again?" Daniel muttered against the top of your head, his words filled with a mix of vulnerability and hope. You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his, and felt a surge of love and longing.

"Daniel," you whispered, your voice filled with uncertainty. As you looked into his eyes, you could see the sincerity and desperation in his gaze.

A part of you wanted to believe him, to give him one more chance, but another part of you was hesitant, unsure if things could truly be different this time.

Daniel begged desperately, "Please, give me one chance and I promise that I will be more committed to our relationship if given the chance."

Taking a deep breath, you let the love you still felt for Daniel override your doubts. "Yes," you whispered, a mix of hope and caution in your voice. "I'll give us one more chance, but we have to take it slow and work on rebuilding trust."

Daniel grinned, "That's all I need," he said, his eyes filled with gratitude and determination. "I promise you won't regret this. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us."

Your heart fluttered as Daniel's hand tightened around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Goosebumps erupted across your skin with every touch, igniting a fire within you that only he could ignite. The electricity between you is palpable, and you can't help but melt into his embrace.

As your lips met, a wave of familiarity and passion washed over you. The taste of his kiss was like coming home, a sweet and addictive blend of warmth and tenderness. In that moment, all doubts and uncertainties melted away, replaced by a renewed sense of hope and desire.

The world around you faded into the background as you lost yourself in the intoxicating dance of his lips against yours, each kiss deepening the connection between your souls.

Time stood still as you surrendered to the magnetic pull of his embrace, savoring every stolen breath and gentle caress. It was a kiss that spoke volumes, a silent promise of a love that had weathered storms and emerged stronger than ever.

You gently tug at his collar, out of breath, and as Daniel asks, "Do you want me to stop?"

Also out of breath, and with a mischievous smile, you whisper, "Just the opposite, please. Don't stop."

Your words are filled with a mix of vulnerability and desire, a silent plea for him to continue. With a knowing smile, Daniel leans in closer, his touch becoming even more electrifying, as the intensity between you grows with each passing moment.

"God, I missed this," Daniel muttered against your lips, his voice filled with longing and a tinge of regret. The weight of his words hung in the air, reminding you of the time lost and the journey ahead.

But in that moment, all that mattered was the fire that burned between you, igniting a passion that refused to be extinguished. . . .

[adamsmasher]

Okay it's after 1am and I've had a lot of wine so obviously it's time for a late night wall-of-text post, but this time it's less likely to piss off your weird uncle or whatever because once again, I gotta talk about the best $4.99 a month I've ever spent.

Please, if you haven't yet, I'm begging you to look into all of the incredible content available on the Dropout.tv streaming service (formerly known as College Humor) . Not only did Whose Line Is It Anyway's Wayne Brady say that the Dropout crew are the only ones doing improv comedy on the same level as Whose Line, but they were also one of the only studios/streaming services allowed to work during the writers' strike because their contracts went above and beyond industry standards. (And, from my own observations, Dropout LOVES hiring queer, trans/nonbinary, and BIPOC performers + crew. Obviously I don't know much about the industry, but they seem like one of the most inclusive companies in Hollywood.)

"Alex, thanks for the recommendation! What shows do they have that you think I'll like?" Oh, you're asking me to gush about my favorite tv shows? Don't mind if I do!!!

Are you D&D curious, but took one look at actual play shows like Critical Role and thought "6 hours an episode? and there's like 750 episodes or whatever? oh baby not my adhd ass..." Don't worry, me too (sorry CR I love you I promise). But Dropout has a show called "Dimension 20" where comedians play Dungeons and Dragons with emotional, immersive storytelling, gut-busting laughs, and spectacular set design that makes you forget it's a fully improvised series controlled by the roll of the dice. They even did a miniseries perfect for D&D beginners called "Dungeons and Drag Queens" where absolute novices and Drag Race royalty Jujubee, Monet X Change, Alaska Thunderfuck, and Bob the Drag Queen embark on an adventure full of mystery, intrigue, and stupidity. I mean, Alaska plays a muscle-bound, axe-wielding, caveman-grunting Orc named Princess, what more could you want? Plus, the primary game master Brennan Lee Mulligan is so easy on the eyes. Oh, you're not into dorky ginger dudes? How about Aabria Iyengar, a 6 foot tall goddess who's equally as nerdy as Brennan but loves basketball. that's right, if nothing else, there's eye candy for every person in every season.

"Oh, why aren't there any good game shows on TV?" you wonder, wishing that the Game Show Network could come up with something that isn't a lame remake of a free-to-play phone game. Well how about Game Changer, "the only game show where the game changes every show (except for [...] Game of Games, Taskmaster, and a few others that have come to light AFTER [Game Changer first aired]. That's right, [the] players have no idea what game it is they're about to play. The only way to learn is by playing, the only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning." And yes, I did sit there and watch the beginning of an episode to make sure I was accurately quoting Game Changer host (and Dropout CEO) Sam Reich's description of his flaghship game show that has THREE separate spin-offs. (for context, he only mentions the other shows that copied his in the one episode I pulled up to get an accurate quote. could you imagine how uncomfortable it would be if he said that every episode? hah!)

Are you more of a traditional Whose Line fan? Look no further than Game Changer spin-off Make Some Noise, where contestants act out "improvisational prompts that [they have] never seen before, isn't that right contestants?" ("We won't know if we've seen them before or not until we see them!" Brennan insists every time he's on...)

You like musicals but wish they were less... ya know, scripted? Check out "Play It By Ear", a fully improvised musical! (you may be familiar with its primary cast members Jess McKenna and Zach Reino from the podcast that inspired it all, "Off Book: the Improvised Musical Podcast with Zach and Jess")

Or maybe you're more into trivia, cuz you're a total nerd like me (and every single performer that's ever appeared on dropout.tv). How about "Umm, Actually" where contestants are given an incorrect statement and have to buzz in to correct it - but you have to say "Umm, Actually" first!

Straight up, you can't go wrong on Dropout. Please, check it out. They're nearly doubling the amount of original shows they have in 2024, and no other streaming service is doing it like them. If I haven't convinced you yet, get the 7 day trial and give em a chance. There's no referral code I can give you that gives me some sort of kickback or whatever, I genuinely wrote what looks like a thousand word essay about Dropout at 1am just because I love them so much.

[thosefuzzywordfeelings]

slutty saturday anon again; what about making gator/s3 steve/baron whimper for the first time?

loved loved loved what you wrote for the tongue kiss 💗💗💗

omg hi hi nonnie! i absolutely adore these, and thank you! that last one is getting a lotta love & i’m grateful 🤭

CW; smut (18+), mentions of oral (m receiving), mentions of toys 😮‍💨✨

Gator:

Roy is fast, FAST asleep in their house and a good job too, otherwise he’d be awoken to the metal clanking of you and Gator stumbling into the dimly lit stables. A champagne coloured horse lay curled up in the corner of the sand, asleep too and oblivious to the giggles coming from the pair of you. With his hands cupping your face, Gator’s lips had barely left yours since he’d picked you up at 1am, texting you to say he ‘needed you’ and ‘missed your pretty mouth’. So here you were, tongues rolling over each others and teeth clacking together messily as you smiled against one another. Gator pulled away for less than 5 seconds to try and find somewhere to lay you down, knowing he couldn’t take you into his house. But you’d had an idea since he texted you. He’d missed your pretty mouth? He can get it then. You pulled away, gripping the fabric of his black undershirt as you balled it up in your fists.

“What’re you doing darlin’?” Gator chuckled, a crooked smirk on his face.

“Shut up for a minute.” You’d respond, one hand drifting to his belt before using the other to push him up against the bars of the stable gates. His back hit the metal with a soft clank as a small whimper left his mouth.

“What was that, Mr Tillman?” You’d say with a more cunning smirk than his, reaching to unzip his pants as you sank to your knees in front of him.

With a cough to clear his throat, he’d try and regain composure.

“Nothin’, just - keep -“ And there it was again, the soft whimper from his lips as you wrapped yours around the head of his cock softly. You’d smile before taking him in as far as you could, wanting to keep hearing that pretty whine more often.

S3! Steve:

Okay so if you look at the photo above and tell me this man doesn’t whimper, you’re lying, thanks. Anyway, the scenario (slightly familiar because i’ve decided i have a thing for fucking steve at work and just public anything in general oops-) coming to mind is this:

he’s on shift at scoops. sat gnawing on a banana in the back room as he tilts the chair on its back legs and has to put an arm out to catch himself. luckily you’ve come to see him and your torso catches the back of the chair instead, your hands coming out to grip the wood.

“Watch out, you big idiot.” You’d giggle as he sat up straight, almost choking on a lump of banana as he smiled up at you.

“Hi - god, hi-“ Steve would stutter excitedly, patting his lap gently as he held his arms out. You’d settle sideways in his lap, kissing him immediately with urgency, it had been a whole 22 hours since you’d seen each other and that was foul to the both of you.

When you pull away, you’d take a minute to study his pretty face; lips candy pink and a little wet from the kisses. His eyes would be wide as they looked back up at you, chocolate brown twinkling with adoration and a hint of the usual lust he felt constantly for you.

“Look so pretty - Stevie -“ I whispered softly, stroking a curl of hair away from his face. His breath hitched slightly as he shuffled underneath my body, his hands clasping together around my waist.

“Y-yeah? Not as pretty as you.” He stuttered again, licking his lips and letting his eyes flutter down to your chest that really wasn’t too far from his eye-line.

“We can debate all day long, but this angle? The way you’re looking up at me with these little-“ You’d run your thumbs over his cheeks softly, “puppy eyes. You look like you’d do anything I told you to right now.” You’d tease with a slight giggle, not taking it too seriously until the most heavenly whimper left his lips. He wouldn’t even be embarrassed about it, too busy staring up at you to care about what his own body was doing in response.

“I - I absolutely - I would.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Anything.” Steve would say breathily, his voice slightly shaking as you ‘adjusted’ yourself in his lap. Biting his lip so he didn’t let out another whine, your thumb would pull his bottom lip out from the traps of his teeth and he’d chuckle nervously.

“You’ll do anything for me right?” He’d nod.

“So let those pretty noises out for me, okay?”

(barking at sub!steve bye)

Baron:

okay so our sweet baby boy (i always picture sweet baron, instead of cunning clever baron but for sure wanna write about him too one day 😮‍💨).

Baron’s the cute postal guy you see around your town right? You’d spoken to him a few times, being his age and all. Riding his bike with this hazy daydream smile on his face like nothing in the world mattered. He was like a little glittering dandelion, long tendrils flying in the wind as he sped down your lane, occasionally stopping at your house with clothes deliveries or…more adult parcels. Not that he’d have any idea of what’s inside, but you always felt a little shy when he’d pass you a heavier box with his innocent smile.


Like this time. You’d ordered yourself some new toys and lingerie with a discount code your friend had sent over, but it was a new company. One that until the very last moment as the cute boy stood in front of you with the most beetroot red cheeks you’d ever seen, did you understand they had NO qualms about putting the item list on the top of the box.

“Oh, uh hi Baron.” You’d say gently as you opened the door to the sweet boy again. His hands seemed a little shakier than usual as he used both arms to pass the heavy box over, his eyes skimming the top and widening slightly.

“Uh, hi…hi, yeah. This here - this here says toys? Toys? Like as in - I ain’t never seen- you? - anyway they’re yours.” Baron mumbled shyly. You’d nod softly, taking the box and putting it down, thanking him kindly as he began to turn away.

“Hey, Baron?” You’d ask after him. He’d turn slowly, a thumb tucking his hair behind his ear as the other tucked in the pink pocket of his shorts. He’d smile in response as you came down your porch steps.

“You know where I live…incase you wanna find out more about what I ordered…” You’d whisper confidently, stroking the right side of his hair and tucking it away too.

A small mewl left his lips as he looked down across your body quickly. “Sorry, I uh - I need to get back to work, your offer is um, I would love -“ You’d silence him with a finger against his lips, getting real close as he stumbled a little.

“I see the way you stop outside the Donaldson house over there, Baron,” You’d point to over his shoulder at the home opposite yours. He’d stand by their mailbox and look over at your window, hoping to see you past the open blinds. “You stare. Looking for me?” You’d whisper, resting your hand on his chest as it rose and fell quicker by the second with each lust-filled frantic breath.

“You’re so damn pretty.” He’d whimper out shakily. He wanted to kiss you, watch you, taste you. And admire from afar just how it was you’d use those toys you ordered.

(sweating profusely)

[frances-baby-houseman]

My anxiety is at like 10000 based on nothing and do you think it could be because instead of what I am being anxious about (unfounded fears about my marriage and children) it could be because:

I had to finish and turn in my newsletter to the printer and they said our mail permit was expired and I spent an hour with the mean postmaster coming to no conclusion so I still don't know if it will mail

my stepmom's dad died

my mom is back in the hospital bc she has inexplicably no blood

my brother moved to israel on wednesday and immediately lost the folder with all his important papers and money

we had zero childcare monday-wednesday

yesterday was the first day of school and today was the first full day and somehow joe didn't understand the snack I packed him was meant to be eaten

my 41st birthday is in a week and I have half-assed planned something but am scared to actually finish planning it bc I feel like no one actually wants to celebrate

I spent 6 hours in interviews yesterday as part of the world's worst interview process (the way my boss structures interviews is INSANE)

I've stayed up until the end of the DNC every night this week including monday, when I WENT to the DNC and got home at 1am

Like I just very much need to have a real meal and less coffee and more than 5 hours of sleep a night. And also what do I do about my birthday

[diaphobic]

(WIP)Diabolik Lovers: College AU

It’s been a while since I’ve posted any headcanon type stuff on this blog! But I wanted to post about a college au, it’s the one I typically write in and how I perceive the characters. Since the diaboys are really old, and the stuff that happens in the series is kinda (ehh), I aged them up a few years and added a night college.

There’s only a few big differences;

Students range from 18+, the uniform is slightly different, the school has dorms available, and no Yui ): she’s a human minor (set the girl free) but there are two MC’s (male and female) to play as.

Ryoutei University

A night school for the rich, working, and inhuman. The school is partnered with the Demon World’s top university. Though the existence of demons attending the school is not publicly know, the faction of the church that supervises the school knows. The school was made a sort of co-Ed (in terms of species) after a war took place in the human world, and they wanted to come to an agreement.

The school has one main building with additional buildings around the campus that hold events for sports, music, and other social gatherings.

There are dorms on the campus divided between male and female students. The female students are on the east side of the campus, and the male students are on the west. They are not allowed to cross between dorms. There’s a student led security team that surveys the dorms every day.

The schools budget is seemingly endless, they have just about everything in this school: pools, tracks, courts, a church, and other recreational activities for the full time students to enjoy.

━━━━༺❀༻━━━━

Basic Timetable of the schools schedule:

Classes begin: 8pm

Classes end: 3am

After school activities offered from 3:30am to 7am.

Classes are an hour and a half long. Depending on the student, they may have lunch starting from 11pm to 1am.

Cafeteria serves food until 2am

A typical meal consists of: rice, meat, miso soup, and a chosen desert.

━━━━༺❀༻━━━━

Diaboys Grades!

This is based off of a four year graduation system.

Sakamaki Family:

Subaru: freshman

Triplets: sophomore

Reiji: Junior (completing graduate classes)

Shu: Junior (he doesn’t have enough credits to be one, though…)

Mukami Family

Azusa: Sophomore

Yuma: Sophomore

Kou: Freshman (he was held back a year due to his work….)

Ruki: Junior (he hasn’t been at this school as long as Reiji, so he has about ten less credits than Reiji.)

Tsukinami Family

Shin: Sophomore

Carla: Senior (he couldn’t lie about the copious amounts of school credits he had collected)

MC: Freshman! MC came to this school recently and (if they had any) didn’t have their school record transferred to this school, so they have to start over regardless.

Because this is college, depending on the MC’s skill level in different courses they have a chance to take classes with all of the boys!

━━━━༺❀༻━━━━

School Events

There are school events that the students can join! Monthly events sponsored by the school to places like the “Princess land amusement park” at night.

Sports festivals happen often as the students are encouraged to exercise and maintain school spirit.

Art exhibits hosted by the art department happen often, usually when the students are having their exams to showcase their work this semester.

There’s a swim, basketball, football, and tennis team along with various indoor club activities. In short, almost everyone can join a club activity they’d want to. (Laito tried out the photography club, but was promptly banned after he took naughty photos…)

━━━━༺❀༻━━━━

Tuition??

The school is EXPENSIVE!! All of the students tuition is double the price of a community university (not counting dorms)! Karlheinz is emptying his wallet for his kids…

[digital-domain]

subby gojo hcs !!

because come on. this man holds the world together in his hands. he doesn’t need to feel powerful - he already knows that he is. and something about giving all of it up just feels so good …

word count: 500ish

content tags: nsfw, written at 1am with less proofreading than usual lol

<3

it’s unlocked completely by accident. You’re making out - horizontal, you on top of him - and you wrap your hand around his neck, just to see how he reacts. You’re expecting him to grab your wrist and pin you down, or maybe just laugh. And he considers it - but not for long. Instead, he finds himself wrapping his own hand over yours, pressing your fingers to the sides of his neck, finally releasing a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding all this time. And just like that, he’s addicted.

<3

He wants you to tease him - relentlessly. And he won’t lay a hand on you until you let him. But of course he complains the entire time. “C’mon baby, just let me touch you…” He widens his pretty eyes and stares into yours, and in those moments you almost break and give him exactly what he wants. But then you remember who he is, and the thrill of having him under your thumb takes over. You’re not gonna make it that easy.

<3

You really wanna drive him insane? Ease down on his cock like you’re finally about to ride him, and then tell him not to move. Kiss all up and down his torso and make him beg you to let him fuck you.

<3

He’s just. So pretty. All the time.

<3

He knows that it’s silly for you to tie him up - it’s not like anything can physically stop him from doing what he wants - but he likes the feeling of it anyways. So go ahead - cuff his hands above his head and tease his cock with your tongue. Pull away when you feel a thrust coming, leave him grinding into empty air. “nononoNO please come back…been so good for you…”

<3

He’s always gonna love the sound of his own voice, and that means whining - it turns into begging if you let him go for long enough. “you’re bein’ so mean….feels like it’s been hours…c’monn, you see how hard I am? Lemme fuck you. Please? Pleaseee?”

<3

He loves eating you out, loves burying his face between your legs, loves it when you thread your fingers through his hair and press on the back of his head, urging him forward, making a complete mess of him. “Babyyy…you taste so good…” No tricks up his sleeve - you’re gonna come, and whether he gets to after you is your choice entirely. He’ll be very happy either way.

<3

Be gentle with him. Tug lightly on that pretty hair, tell him he’s bein a good boy - he’ll act like it’s silly the first time he hears it, but if he’s honestly with himself, he wants to hear it again

<3

He’ll switch on you eventually, when you least expect it. Calling it “revenge,” as if he didn’t love every second of being under your control. But that is another story entirely….

<3

[detentiontrack]

In honor of the beast’s 3rd BIRTHDAY, here’s the top 15 CZ moments and behaviors since I found him (in no particular order) (and pictures at the end)

Ate a string, almost died, and needed a $5000 surgery with a 50/50 chance of survival that I’m still traumatized from and still paying off (he has tried to eat strings again multiple times and now strings and thread are banned from my house unless they’re locked up)

Learned how to take his cone off after his surgery and did it so much that I had to buy him an infant onesie of shame from the target baby section to keep him from ripping out his stitches

Was a homeless kitty for a year until we moved into a new house and he walked into our living room with zero hesitation and took a nap on our fireplace and was so cute he convinced my mom to let me keep him.

Got so cold in the winter he needed a little sweater, fought me like I was trying to kill him when I put the sweater on, realized he enjoyed the sweater and napped in it while purring, got warm enough and ripped the sweater off, and then got cold again and repeated the cycle constantly the entire winter

Hissed and tried to bite the man just trying to set up our WiFi and had to be physically restrained and banished to another room (BONUS: hates all men with a violent passion except for my brother, and I think CZ likes him more than me)

Scratched me so hard I have a permanent scar on my arm because I tried to take away his food bowl to wash it (I don’t do that anymore)

Was the reason slime got banned in my house (he was left unattended in the living room for less than 2 minutes while I went to the bathroom and rolled in it and had a bald spot on his back for a while from removing the slime)

Got mad at me because I worked a closing shift and was gone until 1am, so he retaliated by somehow opening my school binder and absolutely shredding 150+ pages of notes and assignments into confetti, scattering the little pieces of paper all over the room

Got mad when I went to Oregon for a week without him and retaliated with violence towards my mother. She picked him up and tried to move him to a different room, and he jumped onto her back, sunk all 4 claws into her back, and hung there for a WHILE (she had to sit down on the bathroom floor and wait for him to let go)

Gets stuck in bags every single time I bring a grocery bag into his evil lair (my room) because he tries to get inside the bag, but he’s too fat, so he gets stuck. And then becomes violent when I laugh at him and take pictures before freeing him.

Acts like a poor little baby kitty who is starving to death every time he finishes his food and I’m not there to immediately fill it back up. Proceeds to SCREAM and CRY at the top of his kitty lungs until someone saves him from his inevitable fate (dying of malnutrition)

Was a homeless cat with food scarcity the first year of his life, so if I wait too long to refill his bowl (like… if I’m out and no one else is home to hear his screaming and he goes without a full bowl of food for less than an hour) he’ll eat it all at once, and then throw up on my bed

I had to buy a home depot bucket with a lid to store his food in because when I just had the cat food bag with a clip holding it closed, one time while I was asleep (and he had a FULL bowl of food in his bowl may I add) he chewed a hole in the bag, scattered cat food everywhere, and ate so much that he (you guessed it) threw up on my bed

He psychologically tortures insects for his entertainment. Every time there’s a weird bug in my room, he can spend HOURS chasing it, hunting it, and then he lets it escape and run away a few feet, and then he hunts it again in a long drawn out hunt that always ends in him carrying the bug onto my bed and eating it loudly

One time my stepdad entered my room without permission and CZ jumped off the top of a bookcase onto his head.

[manikasu-nyx]

christmas duets w/ 5wirl!

since it’s the last day of november it’s officially christmas so expect christmas/winter writings (I would like to do a 25 one shots of christmas think but we’ll see)

I’m editing this at 2 am I just spent two hours writing heizou and venti and they didn’t save and I’m gonna cry

characters/content: aether, kazuha, xiao, heizou, venti, visi0n reader, mean girls reference in xiao’s, characters are probably ooc, author is writing this at 1am with, please bear with her, heizou and venti are rushed cause they didn’t save and author is having a breakdown

aether: walking in a winter wonderland (matt wertz)

(small a/n: the singer in this cover sounds so much like zach/aether to me??? maybe I just have hearing issues but I swear he does)

“Y/N, your hat!” Aether exclaimed, tossing you your santa hat, pulling his own on and adjusting his mic in the backstage mirror, looking at the small countdown clock that was slowly ticking.

“Thanks, Ae!” You called back, rushing next to him, inspecting yourselves and your matching Santa outfits. Diluc and Childe had decided to do another joint group event for Christmas, but this time it was duets. The two singers were picked from a hat, and you and Aether were the two lucky winners!

You two had decided on a classic song, something simple everyone could sing to, and a song to mainly calm Aether’s nerves. He had claimed it was because since there would be less people on stage, there’d be more eyes on him, but you knew him better than that. Xiao and Lumine did too, seeing as however you mentioned it they changed topic almost immediately. You didn’t press it though, you decided to wait until after the show.

“Okay, you two! Showtime in five!” Childe called, raising his hand for emphasis. Your bandmates, who were also backstage, were ushered away by Diluc, all of them cheering encouragement towards you two. You soon after turned towards Aether, raising your hands up, giving him a smile. “Sing our hearts out, right?”

He looked back at you, before nodding, clasping your hands with a smile. “Right.” You both took a deep breath and let go of each other before you rushed out on stage, waving to the cheering crowd before you. As the music started, you two began your routine, the steps and vocals flowing out of you like a river, the mind-numbing rehearsal helping greatly.

While you two spun and slid across the stage, every time he had the chance, Aether stole a glance at you. Afterwards, when you finished and were talking to the fans, he looked up at the sky. Even though it was cold out, the sky was clear. No sign of snow for a while. He looked back at you, who was having a small bit of banter with Xinyan, giving a smile. Maybe he couldn’t walk in a winter wonderland you now, but he’d be sure to ask at the first sign of snowfall.

kazuha: santa tell me (ariana grande)

“Kazuha, Y/N. Twenty minutes,” Diluc called, walking back to take care of some more preparations as you two nodded, you shaking your hands and letting out a breath.

“Fuuuu… Okay, you got this, Y/N, you got it…” You sighed out, shaking your hands. Kazuha gave an amused smile, grabbing your hands and holding them gently, causing you to look at him.

“What, you’re nervous? Where was this anxiety at your other shows?” He asked, tilting his head a bit. Ignoring his teasing tone, you looked off to the side, subconsciously squeezing his hands a bit.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but we don’t normally sing stuff like this. What if I mess up? What if I trip over my outfit? This is very long,” you said, reaching back to lift a piece of fabric that was almost to the floor.

Kazuha shook his head, squeezing your hands once more. “You’ll be fine,” he began, looking at you with soft eyes. “Besides, I’m here. And I always will be, even next year.” You paused to look at him, before letting out a small giggle, raising an eyebrow at him. “Did you really just use a line from our song? Seriously?”

He gave a sheepish grin, leaning forward a bit. “Yes, but it made you laugh, right?” He began, before moving one of his hands up to your cheek, rubbing his thumb across it softly. “And I meant every part of it, Y/N.” You stared back at him, your cheeks heating up, while he leaned forward, his own face a light shade of red as he planted a kiss on your free cheek, placing your foreheads together. “I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. You seem too helpless for me to leave you alone right now, anyway.”

You looked back at him with wide eyes, your mouth fumbling over your words, deciding to focus on his last comment while you processed everything else. “Wh…? Hey, I’m not helpless…!” You said, puffing your cheeks out as he grinned, leaning back from you.

“I’d prove that wrong with another kiss, but we go on in like two minutes and I don’t need you shutting down on me.”

“Wh—?! I wouldn’t—! Kazuha!”

You calmed your blush and expression as best as you could as you followed him on stage, deciding it was for the best for you to just turn off your brain and let your practice take over.

He made good on his word though, and you were short-circuited with a few pecks in no time. Well, at least you got a boyfriend for Christmas, even if it did come with relentless teasing from the others, specifically Lumine and Heizou.

xiao: jingle bell rock (bobby helms)

“Okay, you all. On in ten,” Diluc said, walking back to the dressing rooms where the rest of Visi0n was, assumingly to make sure they’d be ready to make their own appearance in time. Meanwhile, you were trying to not giggle at the boys in front of you, four of which were varying degrees of embarrassed, while one was doing a much better job of holding back his laughter, although he had a large smirk on his face.

“Not a word, Alatus,” Aether seethed, pinching his fingers for further effect, pulling his dress down. Normally, Xiao would’ve been annoyed at the use of his middle name, but the sight of his bandmates in the dresses from Mean Girls made it hard for him to be mad at anything right then.

“Archons, this is so embarrassing…” Kazuha sighed, pulling his own dress down, his hands stretching the fabric. Venti looked at himself in the mirror, twirling around a bit as he made finger guns.

“Speak for yourself, Kazuha, I’m rocking this look,” the singer said, making poses in the mirror. “I don’t actually mind losing that game of candy poker as much as I did then now,” he said, doing a catwalk you couldn’t help but giggle at, the others rolling their eyes at him.

“Normally, I’d… probably try and use my humor as well, but it’s way too cold to do that. As soon as this show is over I’m putting on the biggest puffer jacket I can find,” Heizou said, rubbing his arms.

“The choreography will warm you up. Lucky there’s no radio for you to kick into someone’s head either, isn’t there?” Xiao said, pulling a laugh from your throat, Aether squinting his eyes at you.

“Hey, don’t laugh, how would you like it if someone put you in a short dress in this weather?!” He exclaimed, your brain immediately seeing an opportunity to tease him.

“Are you saying you want to see me in that dress, Aether?”

“Wha—?!”

“Oooohh, Aether, I’m telling Lumine~”

“Shut up, Hei—“

“Lumine? Why not go straight to Childe? He’s the manager, you know.”

“Venti!!!”

As the time for you to go on stage eventually arrived, with you and Xiao singing as the other four followed through with their cosplay and performed the Mean Girls choreography, Xiao’s mind couldn’t help but go back to the comment about you in a dress. He was glad everyone was too busy to notice him or the flush in his cheeks.

Later on, you two were watching a recording of the show on the couch in his bedroom of the hotel you all were staying in, laughing at the other members, sipping hot chocolate to warm up from the cold. Soon enough, you placed your up down, adjusting under your blanket to face him, placing your legs up on the chair. “Alright, Xiao, what’s up?”

Xiao looked back at you, a bit of confusion in his face, not expecting you to pick up on him fast. Thankfully, for him, he had spent a good amount of time carefully crafting the question he wanted to ask you, the perfect wording in his mi—

“Do you want to go on a date with me?”

Well, that’s all out the window.

“Huh? Oh…!”

As he was mentally cursing himself in three different languages, you looked up at him, already being able to tell he was struggling to express himself. You let out a small sigh, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, causing his brain to freeze mid-thought. As he opened his mouth, you placed a finger to his lips.

“Yes, I’ll go on a date with you. Yes, I mean it. We can figure out the details later. For now, just try and get your brain unscrambled, okay?” You said, wrapping your arms around him, pulling the blanket around both of you. Xiao simply gave a nod, wrapping his arms around you, placing his chin on your figure, looking back at the laptop where you were already putting on a movie for yourselves to watch.

heizou: last christmas (wham!)

You closed your eyes as Barbara powdered some blush onto your face, Xinyan and Yun Jin fixing up your hair, Lumine holding your hand on your free side. You were all talking a bit before you had to go on stage, trying to calm your nerves.

“So you get to go on with Heizou! That’s really great, I’m glad for you, Y/N. Especially since you like him, right?” Barbara asked, you giving a small hum of affirmation, opening your eyes to look at the mirror, rotating your head to look at your appearance.

“Yeah… Although I’m nervous. You know how he is, he definitely knows. I don’t know why he hasn’t said anything about it, though. I really think he just doesn’t like me back.” You said, almost immediately being met with various protests.

“Hey, ‘m sure Heizou likes ya back just as much, m’kay? Maybe he just doesn’t know how to say it, s’all,” Xinyan said, Yun Jin nodding and adding on to her statement. “Yeah, people who are observant over others normally aren’t too observant about themselves, right?” She said, you giving a small sigh.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right… I think I’m gonna ask him later, and if I don’t get a yes, I’ll just move on from him. I don’t want a repeat of… you know.” You said, all of the girls nodding and hugging you from all sides, squeezing you gently.

“Of course, you deserve at least that much. And no matter what happens, we’ll always be here for you, right?” Lumine said, a small chorus of agreement followed as you reached up, cherishing the bandmates who meant the world to you.

“Alright, now go out there and kill it!” Lumine said, the other three cheering with her as you stood, taking a deep breath and heading behind the curtain.

You walked next to Heizou, who seemed to be in thought about something, quickly snapping out of his thoughts with a smile towards you. “Y/N! Ready to go out there and sing?” He asked, raising a hand for you to squeeze. You looked back at him, before forcing a smile, nodding and gently, briefly squeezing his hand. He found it odd, but there was no time to address it, he’d just have to ask later after his own plans for later that night.

Later on, you and Heizou had met up at a park near your hotel, sitting on the swings next to each other. You had been idly chatting about things for a while, and you had been trying to bring up the courage to ask about his feelings in response to yours. Eventually, you steeled your nerves and plunged into the metaphorical water.

“Heizou, we both know that you know how I feel about you already, so please, just be honest with me. Do you feel the same?” You ask, swallowing back the pleading tone in your voice. Heizou looked over at you, before giving a smile, pulling something out of his coat pocket and handing it to you.

“Well, it’s like George Michael said, right? With a note saying "I love you", I meant it~” he sang, watching as you took the heart shaped box, reading the careful calligraphic on the top.

‘Merry Christmas, Y/N. I’m glad I got to sing with you. Now, let’s keep doing it for the rest of our lives, okay?’

You looked at the redhead, who walked over gently leaning towards you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before, I just didn’t know how. But, I’m glad I finally did. And you are too, right?” He said, letting out a breathy chuckle as you wrapped your arms around him, leaning in.

“Yes, yes I am,” you said, closing the gap between you two, pressing a soft kiss to his lips in the moonlight.

venti: all I want for christmas is you (mariah carey)

“Thank you for coming out, everyone! And as always, we’ll see you next time!” Venti said, giving a wave to the crowd who clapped and cheered while you two went off stage. You had just gotten done with one of your many performances of the song that seemed to be the embodiment of Christmas itself. It wasn’t a bad song, mind you, but having to perform it so many times made it very tiring very fast. Well, at least you had Venti to do it with.

Later on, after your final performance for a hit, both of your bands had gathered in the hotel preparing yourselves for the night you all had planned full of Christmas movies, hot chocolate, Christmas cookies, and gingerbread houses.

After a long night of fun with yourself and your bands mates, you found yourself alone on the balcony, reminiscing over the night.

At least, you thought you were alone.

“Y/N? Oh, you’re still up. Is everything alright?”

You looked back at Venti, giving him a nod and a smile as he plopped down on the space next to you on the balcony couch.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just thinking, y’know? Tonight was fun and all, but it feels like something was missing, is all…” you said, trailing off. Venti gave you a nod, before pointing up, turning your attention towards the ceiling above you.

“Maybe that’s what it was?” He suggested, your face turning red at the prospect. You liked Venti, sue, but the thought of kissing him made you sweat. He looked at you, giving you a grin and leaning forward, giving you a teasing look. “C’mon, Y/N, you know the rules~”

You took a breath, shaking off your nerves. You knew Venti wouldn’t leave you alone about it, and besides, what’s the worst that would happen, right? You resolved to kiss him on the cheek, but like how most cliches go, he ended up tilting his head and kissing you on the lips instead. You felt him softly melting into your warmth, before pulling back, almost too quick for your taste.

He looked at you, grabbing your hands and squeezing them gently, an uncharacteristic nervous blush on his face. “I… didn’t expect that to actually work. But that doesn’t matter. I like you, Y/N. And I hope you like me back too.” He said, waiting for your response.

You looked back, a small smile creeping onto your face, giving him a small nod in response. “Yes, I like you too, Venti,” you said, leaning forward and wrapping your arms around him. He let out a small sigh of relief, leaning into you.

“I’m glad. All I wanted was you. And I actually mean that, not just the song.”

You gave a laugh at his quick end comment, before pulling him back inside, the two of you heading to sit next to each other, holding hands as you drifted off to sleep.

[dollsonmain]

I've forgotten how to sleep and startled myself when I looked in the mirror on my way to bed last night. The eye wells in my skull were very, very visible. Slightly less bad this morning.

So sleep hasn't happened due to both anxiety/stress and the AC having been broken for a while. AC was out for about a week and once it was fixed, I was too stressed about the absences thing at school to sleep the first night, and then too stressed last night because Son broke his school laptop yesterday and we have to tell That Guy today, AND That Guy had gone out partying with friends after work which means he drives home like that in the middle of the night and I always worry he's not going to make it. I can't sleep until I hear the garage door open. If he crashes, with the way he has our finances set up, Son and I are effectively homeless immediately. Part of why I am trying to work. Him not coming home until 1am also prolonged the anticipatory anxiety of having to wait to tell him the problem and get over the aftermath.

And then I woke up at 3am like always and couldn't get back to sleep.

Anyway.

Work stuff ish again

I will not complain about being expected to work 6 hours a day because that's less than a "normal" job anyway, but really at that point I'd rather work a full 8 and get benefits.

I very much think it should be illegal to schedule people juuuuuust under the cut off for benefits to be required by labor law. You should have to either schedule people 40 hours or 20 hours, no in between, IMO. Scheduling someone exactly 20 hours gives them plenty of time to go work SOMEWHERE ELSE for the other 20 hours without having to worry about being scheduled to work 60+ hours a week because both employers are cheapskates that will work you 30 hours.

I also need to completely change my daily routines AGAIN to get to work on time.

My current-new routine is:

wake up at 3:30 and get my morning coffee

sit around and wait for That Guy to leave for work which is usually 4-4:30

Son gets up and we have the morning together

Son leaves for school at 6:50

I don't get hungry until somewhere between 7 and 9 and will have breakfast then

depending on how exhausted I am I will or will not do chores between 5 and 10

leave to walk to work at 10:20

get to work at 10:40/10:45

work 11-3

That Guy picks me up on his way home from work, though I did have to walk home yesterday

do chores

dinner between 4-5 or so

vegetable time

Now, I'm going to have to skip my morning coffee because it makes me poop and I don't want to be pooping while I'm also the only cashier at work.

So it's going to be like....

wake up around 3 and shower OR shower in the evenings and deal with being gross from night-sweats at work so wake up at 3:30, I do prefer to show up to work nice and clean but it is a gas station...

force feed myself some sort of solid food while waiting for That Guy to leave for work around 4-4:30

make sure the boy gets up no later than 5

leave to walk to work at 5:20

get to work at 5:40-5:45

work 6-whenever (she hasn't decided when????)

leave work to walk to home whenever that happens to be and I'd rather it WASN'T noon because it's going to be stupid hot, then, but stop on the store's "porch" to put on sunscreen real fast... which means I need an opaque travel size bottle for sunscreen, and eat something so I don't pass out on the way home (yesterday I took a small bread roll and some jerky and ate that and drank a second V8 Energy while walking)

get home around 1 if I left at noon because the walk home is slower than the walk to work

eat a real lunch? finally have my poopin coffee?

chores

Son and That Guy get home at 3

profit???

I'm going to have to prep and take multiple sugar drinks so my blood sugar doesn't bottom out while at work. Right now I've been taking one bottle of water with a Real Lemon lemonade drink stick mixed in and I forget to drink it but it's there so I can slam it before leaving. I'll need to also take a meal replacement shake got sugar, salt, and other nutrients, I think, and an extra water.

Manager keeps trying to get me to buy something at work before my shift starts and I'm like no thanks those are MY monies, now, you're not getting them back on your overpriced bottled water.

Today I need to do laundry, deal with the fallout of telling That Guy that Son broke his school laptop, go to Kohl's and see if I can find some New Balance cross trainers to wear to work since I will be doing walking, standing, and lifting and I think cross-trainers would be the best option AND already know NB is the brand they primarily carry, need to find a hi-vis vest or couple of belts because I'll be walking to work in the dark, and That Guy said he'd take me to dinner today for leaving me to have to walk home from work Yesterday but what does that matter? That's going to be every day from now on.

A few more paychecks and I'll look for a scooter again. Or something. Still kind of like the idea of getting a cargo trike, ngl. Would be harder to steal than a bike anyway.

I don't know what I'm going to do in the winter.

-

Running a salary and income tax calculator and factoring in about $3k in short-term hobby income, even putting that no tax is withheld, it looks like I'd expect a tax return of $3k? Because there's about $3k in tax credits??? Whatever. I'll figure it out when it's closer to the right time.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Reignited passion (Alyssa Naeher x Reader)

Guess who's back at 1am after only having less than 3 hours sleep in the last day. Apparently lack of sleep makes me want to right. This isn't really edited, but hope you enjoy.

Words: 2.5K

---

It was the last day of camp and I was sitting on my bed with Alyssa. We had about an hour until it was time to leave for the airport, but we had finished packing already. Alyssa and I were going to the same place, but after the chaos that was camp, it was nice to just chill with someone who was so calm. 

"Can you sing for me?"

It had been over a year since I sung. When my mum died, any passion I had for singing seemed to disappear. We used to sing together all the time. When I was upset, stressed, or hurt, she would sing to me as a way to help me calm down. We would spend hours together, writing and singing. It didn't feel right singing without her. I never seemed to be able to say no to Alyssa though. We weren't dating or anything, but I did have a rather large crush on her. 

Alyssa placed her hand on my arm, a small smile present, "You don't have to Y/n."

I already knew I couldn't say no so I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before starting to sing the first song that came to mind.

I've been awake for a while now

You've got me feelin' like a child now

'Cause every time I see your bubbly face

I get the tingles in a silly place

It starts in my toes

And I crinkle my nose

Wherever it goes

I always know, that you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane

But we are hiding in a safer place

Under covers staying dry and warm

You give me feelings that I adore

They start in my toes, make me crinkle my nose

Wherever it goes

I always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for a while

Now just take your time

Wherever you go

But what am I gonna say

When you make me feel this way

I just mmmmm

I finally opened my eyes when I felt something touch my knee. Alyssa had shifted closer so she was sitting cross-legged in front of me, our knees touching. Her hand hesitantly reached out, lacing with mine when I met her hand halfway. My heart sped up, like it did every time Alyssa was close. It took a lot of self control to keep singing without stuttering, but I managed. Alyssa kept her focus on me as I continued. There was a look on her face that I couldn't quite figure out. Her eyes were soft, sparkling almost, a slight smile playing on her lips. 

It starts in my soul

And I lose all control, when you kiss my nose

The feeling shows

'Cause you make me smile

Baby, just take your time

now holdin' me tight

Wherever, wherever, wherever you go

Wherever, wherever, wherever you go

Wherever you go, I always know

'Cause you make me smile

Even just for a while

"You are amazing Y/n/n." Alyssa whispered as I finished. We seemed to both lean in slightly as if we were drawn together. She cupped my cheek with her spare hand. I closed the space between us. Our lips moved slowly yet perfectly in sync, like they were made to all along. Her lips were soft, yet slightly chapped and so, so addictive. We pulled away after a few seconds, I could taste the slight hint of her chap stick as I licked my lips. Relishing in the taste of her. A wide grin spread across her face, lips meeting the back of my hand. "I've wanted to do that for a long time."

There was no stopping the huge smile that spread across my face at Alyssa's admission, "Me too Lys."

---

She's got a smile that it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky (Sky)

Now and then when I see her face

She takes me away to that special place

And if I stared too long I'd probably break down and cry

Everyone seemed to quieten down around us, but I was focused on the small child in front of me. We were back at camp and Alex had brought Charlie with her. I'm not really sure what happened, but Charlie had suddenly started having a meltdown. I'd managed to get her to stop crying, but her lip was still wobbling. A threat of more tears appearing at any minute. I took her hands, slowly swaying.

Whoa-oh-oh! Sweet child o' mine

Whoa, oh-oh-oh! Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of rain

I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm, safe place

Where as a child I'd hide

And pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by

Charlie giggled as I spun her around, ending the song. She ran over to Alex, yelling about how she was a princess because I spun her around. Everyone looked at me, surprise on all of their faces. It had been a long time since anyone had heard me sing except Alyssa. Even she had only heard me once at the last camp. My passion for singing and music in general was coming back, but slowly. I also still struggled with getting back into singing in front of people.

Alyssa subtly placed her hand on my back when I stood next to her. We had been together for a few months now, but we had decided to keep it to ourselves for a while. It was hard because she was still so addicting. All I wanted to do was hold her hand, cuddle with her or kiss her. It was also nice though, we got to just enjoy us while getting used to the new relationship. 

---

We were on the bus heading to the stadium for game day. Everyone seemed slightly nervous, especially the few players that were attending camp for the first time. There was music playing quietly, but no one was singing or dancing like usual. I pushed myself up off Alyssa's shoulder and squeezed her hand. It wasnt unusual for me to rest against Alyssa on the bus, we had been doing it for a long time, now it was just with added secret hand holding. She gave me a questioning look, but I just smiled. 

"Em, can I borrow your phone?" She reluctantly handed it over, I went through her music trying to find something more upbeat. Everyone sat up a bit when the song changed and I started clapping my hands. 

Oh Mickey, you're so fine

You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey

Oh Mickey, you're so fine

You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey

Oh Mickey, you're so fine

You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey

Oh Mickey, you're so fine

You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey

Hey Mickey

You've been around all night and that's a little long

You think you've got the right, but I think you've got it wrong

Why can't you say goodnight? So you can take me home Mickey? 

Emily and Kelley stood up with me, dancing around the bus. A few of the other girls were dancing in their seats while others clapped along. The speaker died, but no one seemed to notice so I just decided to have fun. 

Oh Mickey, what a pity, you don't understand

You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand

Oh Mickey, you're so pretty, can't you understand

It's guys like you, Mickey

Oh what you do Mickey, do Mickey

Don't break my heart, Mickey

Simmer down, simmer down

They say we're too young now to amount to anything else

But look around

We worked too damn hard for this just to give it up now

If you don't swim, you'll drown

But don't move, honey

You look so perfect standing there

In my American Apparel underwear

And I know now, that I'm so down

Your lipstick stain is a work of art

I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart

And I know now, that I'm so down (hey!)

My focus went straight to Alyssa. Since we started dating she had developed a habit of stealing my clothes. Mostly the oversized stuff I had for sleeping in or my hoodies. It never bothered me though, she did look amazing in my clothes. Red was creeping up her cheeks as I kept singing to her. Emily bumped up against me, which made me look away from Alyssa, it was probably a good thing since we were supposed to be hiding our relationship for now. 

Let's get out, let's get out

'Cause this deadbeat town's only here just to keep us down

While I was out, I found myself alone just thinking

If I showed up with a plane ticket

And a shiny diamond ring with your name on it

Would you wanna run away too?

'Cause all I really want is you

I got my first real six-string

Bought it at the five-and-dime

Played it 'til my fingers bled

Was the summer of '69

Me and some guys from school

Had a band and we tried real hard.

Jimmy quit, Jody got married

I should've known we'd never get far

Oh, when I look back now

That summer seemed to last forever

And if I had the choice

Yeah, I'd always wanna be there

Those were the best days of my life

Ain't no use in complainin'

When you've got a job to do

Spent my evenings down at the drive-in

And that's when I met you, yeah

Don't stop believin'

Hold on to that feelin'

Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'

Hold on

Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'

Hold on to that feelin'

Streetlight people

"We're here," Someone called, making pretty much everyone groan in protest. 

"But we were having fun," Emily whined. 

 I pushed her forward towards the front of the bus, "Come on Em, we have ass to kick."

Alex patted my back, "It's good to hear you singing again."

I smiled, heading back to my seat to grab my bag. Alyssa was waiting for me, holding my bag. Everyone was already off the bus so I squeezed her hand quickly before letting go, "Thank you beautiful."

"You're the beautiful one. Do you want to have dinner tonight?"

"Like go out for dinner?"

Alyssa played with her fingers nervously, "If you're up for it. I realised today that we've only ever been out on a proper date once or twice in the few months we've been together. All we usually do is hangout at your apartment or maybe go for walks where no one will see us. If you don't want to it's fine, I get it, I just-"

Lindsey popped her head into the bus, "What's taking you guys so long?" 

"Coming, sorry we got distracted." We made our way out of the bus. When Lindsey was far enough in front of us, I stepped closer to Alyssa, "I would love to go to dinner with you tonight. I'll make reservations for 8."

The smile on Alyssa's face made butterflies erupt in my stomach the same way they did before we started dating. I had expected it to go away after we got over the newness of it all and it started to feel real, but it hasn't happened yet. Every time I saw her smile, heard her laugh or kissed her, the butterflies would go wild. 

---

"Lys you ready?"

"Just a second."

Alyssa walked out of the bathroom wearing blue skinny jeans, white blouse, and black leather jacket, "Maybe we can just stay here, you look so good in this, I bet you look even better without it."

She chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to my lips, "Keep it in your pants Y/l/n. Let's go, we're going to be late."

Dinner consisted of secret touches under the table and whispered comments while trying to act as much like friends as possible. Despite that, it was fun. I had never felt that carefree or happy around anyone other than Alyssa. Everything just seemed that much easier when I was with her. I was looking forward to the day we could go out without hiding, but in a way hiding brought me a sense of security. Like I had a place in this world that was just us, a safe place I guess. Somewhere we could escape to when our jobs or lives were crazy.

We were walking along the beach hand in hand. It was dark so we weren't that worried about people noticing us. I was humming the tune to teenage dream by Katy Perry. Some of the girls were playing it earlier and it had been stuck in my head since.

"What is that?" Alyssa asked after a few minutes. I smiled and decided to just sing it for her.

You think I'm pretty

Without any make-up on

You think I'm funny

When I tell the punchline wrong

I know you get me

So I let my walls come down, down

Before you met me

I was alright

But things were kinda heavy

You brought me to life

Now every February

You'll be my Valentine, Valentine

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I, we'll be young forever

You make me feel

Like I'm livin'

A teenage dream

The way you turn me on

I can't sleep

Let's run away and don't ever look back,

Don't ever look back

My heart stops

When you look at me

Just one touch

Now, baby, I believe

This is real

So take a chance and don't ever look back,

Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali

And got drunk on the beach

Got a motel

And built a fort out of sheets

I finally found you

My missing puzzle piece

I'm complete

"You're a dork."

"Hey, Katy Perry is awesome."

"I never said she wasn't, I'm just simply pointing out the fact that you are a dork."

"You love it."

"I do, I also love the fact that you're singing again. Your voice is amazing, you are amazing."

"Who's the dork now?"

Alyssa laughed loudly, "Still you."

---

"What made you start singing again?" Ali asked. We were sitting on the field, waiting for the others to finish their warm ups.

I shrugged, "I guess I found my passion again."

"Or someone helped you find that passion," Ali nudged me before looking over at Alyssa who quickly looked away.

"Maybe, don't tell anyone yet please."

"I wasn't even sure myself until you just confirmed it. So you two are together?"

I couldn't stop the smile as I glanced back at Alyssa, "We are."

"Your secrets safe with me. I'm just glad you're happy again. And that you're singing again, I missed your voice."

"People have been saying that alot."

"It's true. We love when you sing Y/n. We love your voice. Camp wasn't quite the same without it. Now tell me how you and Alyssa happened." I filled Ali in on the night Alyssa and I first kissed. A smile on my face the whole time. It was nice to have someone to talk about Alyssa with.

Later that night, Alyssa and I were finally back in our room after team bonding. I cuddled against her, head on her chest as she held me close. "Thank you Lys, without you I don't know if I ever would have sung again."

"You don't have to thank me. You have no idea how amazing it felt to have you sing to me that night. It felt like an honor. You seem a lot happier now that you're singing again."

"You have a lot to do with that."

"Maybe I do, but it's not just me. You seem lighter in a way. I love you Y/n."

I cuddled further into her, enjoying the warmth and safety she provided, "I love you too Alyssa."

[austinsmutler]

One for the Money, Two for the Show

A/N: This is for @ab4eva, happy Secret Santa, and I hope you love your fic!

Special thanks to @foreverdolly for bringing all us Austin & Elvis writers together this Christmas

Summary: Austin wakes up in the middle of the night feeling desperate, anxious and out of control after getting the part in Elvis. You decide to give him something else to focus his frustrations on: your body.

Pairing: Austin Butler x Reader

Word Count: 2,700

What you’ll like: Spanking, Daddy!Austin, angst, elements of hurt/comfort, emotional connection while getting railed, sex on a kitchen table, ends in fluff.

Warnings: Smut, minors DNI!

Masterlist | Requests are currently open

It was the fourth time that week your arms reached out to find the other side of the bed cold. 

At first it seemed like the golden opportunity: Austin cast to play the king of rock and roll in a movie directed by Baz Luhrmann, his face on the cover of Vogue. After years of working and waiting for the right role, your boyfriend had finally found it… Which was great, until reporters found out about you and started approaching you in the streets asking for everything from your mother’s maiden name to your favorite sex positions. In the past few months you’d said ‘no comment’ more than you ever had in your life.

Then there was this- the empty side of the bed. You sat up in bed, struggling to blink yourself awake. The bedside clock told you it was 1AM- to everyone else it was time for sleep, but to Austin it was time to stay awake and stress.

Once you were in the hall, you could see the lights were on in the living room and the faintest music echoed across the apartment. Austin’s voice had changed so much in recent weeks you couldn’t tell if it was him rehearsing or listening to the real Elvis.

“I’ll have a blue Christmas, without you, I’ll be so blue just thinking ah-bout you…”

You recognized Elvis on Austin’s laptop screen instantly, even knew the performance from the dozens of times you’d watched it together: the 68 comeback special. Austin was due to shoot this scene in less than a week- his first time on-camera as Elvis.

Austin was singing along, cursing under his breath at the occasional wrong word or some imperceptible flaw in his imitation. 

“And when those blue snowflakes start calling- fuck- memories start falling- dammit!”

“Aus?” 

Your boyfriend jumped to his feet at the interruption, immediately wiping at his cheeks before turning to face you. Not that it was much use- the blue you loved so much was tinged with red and you couldn’t tell how long he’d had tears in his eyes. Exhaustion, shame, embarrassment? It was all there in layers on his face.

Elvis carried on from the couch, “You’ll be doing alright with your Christmas of white, but I’ll have a blue, blue-blue-blue Christmas.”

You pressed pause, inviting a silence that lingered until you thought of something to say. 

“How… long have you been up?”

“Couple hours.” He blinked. “Sorry, did the music wake you?”

You shook your head. “Come back to bed.”

He didn’t move, just looked at Elvis’ frozen face on the screen. 

“Please, I’m worried about you, Austin. You need to sleep.”

“I need to get this right.”

“You will, just-”

“No!” He stepped away from your touch and turned away, running his hands through his hair, recently dyed black for the role. It made him look darker, still handsome, but more of a bad boy than the blonde boyfriend you were used to. The darkness made it easy to forget how vulnerable he could still be.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll be there in a while, okay? I just need to practice this song. Maybe run through a couple lines, that’s all.”

“You’ve run through the entire movie more times than I can count.”

Austin shook his head, but this time he didn’t step away when you moved to wrap your arms around him. 

“It’s not enough. I’m still messing up the words, I’m still struggling to move from 50s Elvis to 70s Elvis like that-” He snapped his fingers. “Some of these scenes we’re shooting back-to-back, and the makeup and clothes can only do so much. I have to be better than good.” He swallowed, avoiding your eyes by looking at the floor. “I have to be the best.”

You fought an eye roll. You’d seen Austin’s Nickelodeon era (work that ultimately embarrassed him); you’d seen him bring depth to bad roles, roles that would have made other actors blur into the background. Whether it was a film for children or a serious Broadway show, it didn’t matter: Austin was meant to act. You weren’t sure it was even possible for him to mess up a role. 

“You’re already the best.”

“I’m not!” He broke away from your arms, yelling now. Austin never yelled.

“We’re shooting our first scene in under a week, my name, my photos will be everywhere. I’m getting calls from Rami Malek giving me advice, and legends- real legends- like Tom Hanks are just sliding into my DM’s like I’m one of them, but I’m not!”

He was pacing now, behind the couch, hands fisting in his hair. Even in anger, his voice kept that newfound Southern drawl as if he’d been speaking that way his whole life. “I’m just not. And I need to keep going at this until I am.”

“What advice did Rami Malek give you?” You said calmly, already knowing the answer.

“He said…” Austin stopped pacing and swallowed, knuckles white as he leaned on the back of the sofa. “He said the big concert scenes will be the best ones. That I’ll get over this-” He gestured at his body “-after the first couple songs. But I don’t know.”

“That’s not all he said.” You moved slowly around the sofa, like Austin was a deer you didn’t want to spook. “He said people aren’t going to the cinema just to see you looking and sounding like Elvis. They want to see what you do. Everybody’s seen Elvis, and that’s great, but what is it that only you can bring to him?”

“I don’t know.” You were close now, fighting the urge to reach out and stroke his back. “My god, I don’t know.”

“You won’t know until you’re in front of those cameras.” You took a deep breath and tilted his head to face you. “And that isn’t for a while. So in the meantime, you need to sleep.”

The anger fell from his face along with the frustration, leaving only exhaustion. 

“I can’t sleep.” He said, shutting the laptop lid before turning to face you fully. “But you’re right, I need a break.”

“You need to breathe.” You murmured, taking in the rest of your boyfriend now that he wasn’t in such intent distress. 

Austin was dressed for sleep, barefoot in gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips, a comfortable white t-shirt that did little to hide the toned muscles underneath. He moved with newfound confidence thanks to months of karate and dance lessons, all of which made his arms strong as they reached for you.

Austin’s blue eyes darkened as they saw you, really saw you, for the first time that night. Suddenly your oversized t-shirt felt invisible. The fact you never wore pants or panties to bed (aside from being one of Austin’s favorite things about you) was suddenly obvious, a secret that hung heavy between you. Suddenly there wasn’t much air in the room. 

“Distract me.” Austin murmured, taking your face in his hands. 

At your nod, he kissed you with all the desperation he’d been channeling into his performance. Months of stress, frustration and fear poured out of him as his hands quickly found their way under your shirt to your breasts. There was no room for a gentle start as he teased your nipples and kissed you breathless, entirely focused on pulling as many sounds from your mouth as possible. 

Austin pulled the shirt over your head, leaving you completely bare. The softness of his shirt might as well have been a barbed wire fence between the two of you as you moaned, pulling uselessly at the fabric. He whipped it over his head with a smirk, revealing the toned muscles of his body.

Before you could reciprocate the attention he’d given you, Austin span you around so your back was flush against the hard muscle of his stomach.

So this is what he wants. You understood in an instant the kind of distraction he craved, pressing your ass against him to be rewarded with a groan.

“Bend over.” Austin nipped at your ear.

“Yes Daddy.” 

He growled at the name, reserved for when he was in just this mood- the mood to take control. Right now.

Austin’s hands were everywhere, skimming your sides while he bent to nibble the sensitive flesh of your neck. 

“Let me spank you.” It was a statement, but you knew it was a question. If you said stop, he’d stop immediately and sweep you into his arms, take you straight to bed…

Good thing you didn’t want him to stop. 

“Give me five, Daddy.” You bit back a smirk when his cock twitched against your ass at the name. “Use them wisely.”

“You know I will.” He nibbled at the shell of your ear. “Don’t I always take care of my little girl?”

“Aus.” You gasped as he sank a finger into you, hooking it, searching for the spot that was sure to leave you clenching around him. When you cried out and pushed against him, you earned your first smack. 

“You’ll take what I give you.” Austin started to move, slowly. “Keep still, baby.”

You whimpered in agreement, fighting every atom in your body that wanted to push back against him, urge him to go faster, deeper, to just fuck you already. 

“Good girl.” He pressed a kiss to the nape of your neck. “You want more, don’t you? Want to feel me right here-”

He pressed against a spot that had your legs buckling, just for a moment. 

Slap! 

“Keep still for me.” Austin smirked before straightening, watching his fingers moving in and out of you, picking up the pace to pull more whimpers from you. “Let me make you feel good.”

Then his other hand was on your back, holding you in place while he added a second finger. Austin was everywhere at once, finding every point that had you melting further into the couch, visibly resisting the urge to move. His thumb found your clit and began rubbing slow, torturous circles there. 

The sting of a third spank surprised you and you jumped, earning a fourth. One left. 

“Now look what you’ve made me do,” He growled in your ear, “I won’t fuck you. Not until you cum all over my fingers. Not until you beg for it with more than just your words, baby. Not until I have you shaking all over, needing to be filled.”

“Daddy-” You started, but he pulled your hair back to nip at the shell of your ear, earning a whimper from your lips. 

“Move one more time, and I’ll waste my last one. Wouldn’t that be a shame?” You could feel him smirking against your ear, knew he had you- if Austin didn’t make you cum tonight, you wouldn’t be satisfied until he was next in this mood. With the stress of the movie ahead, who knew when that might be?

“Yes Daddy, I won’t move an inch. Please, just don’t stop.” 

He let your head fall forward and resumed rubbing, stroking, until your legs were shaking and it took everything in you not to beg for him to fill you. His fingers had been enough at first, but the more he toyed withevery sweet spot you had to offer, the more you remembered his cock. Every movement of his fingers just made you want Austin's cock more. 

“Please, please just fuck me.” 

“Not yet.” He breathed in your ear. 

“Please, I’m so close, I need-”

Whatever you were going to say vanished as Austin delivered a final powerful slap to your ass, one that nearly sent you flying over the back of the sofa.

Words vanished in a powerful orgasm that had you crying out Austin’s name, clutching at the sofa cushions below for some kind of anchor to reality as you pulsed around his fingers. He kept at it for several long moments, milking your climax for all it was worth. Then he withdrew and you were left empty. 

That was, until he turned you around and lifted you up, probably with every intention of carrying you to the bedroom. Even with your weak legs it was all you could do to wrap your thighs around him and kiss his neck desperately, grinding at his hardness through his sweatpants. 

Austin groaned and pressed you against the wall. “If you keep that up, we won’t make it to the bed.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” 

You meant it as a half-joke, but Austin took it as a challenge. 

“Where do you want me to fuck you?” He mumbled against your neck, “Right here against the wall? On the carpet?”

“T-table,” You managed to gasp out the word as he found a fresh sweet spot along your collarbone. 

Austin broke into a lopsided grin and turned left instead of right, carrying you into the kitchen/dining area instead of the bedroom. You arched your back at the cold of the hard wooden dining table. 

“You sure you’re ready for me?” He slipped a finger inside you, gliding in like a knife through melted butter. He chuckled at your high-pitched whine.

“Please, Aus.” You breathed, tugging him down so that your lips were inches apart. “I need to feel you.”

That was all Austin needed to shed his sweatpants and guide himself into you. He was slow at first, always watching your face to make sure you were ready for his next movement, giving you time to adjust to his size. Austin’s cock was larger than most men you’d been with, which was a blessing, but it could make things uncomfortable from time to time. This was not one of those times.

Sharp pain mixed with the pleasure of finally being full as Austin pulled your hair back, licking a line up your neck, lightly blowing across the sensitive skin. 

“Good girl, take it for me.”

“Always.” You looked at your boyfriend through hazy eyes, fisting his hair to bring him closer to your face. “I need more.”

As much as he loved to tease, Austin was never one to deny you. 

He quickly set a fast, unforgiving pace that had his flesh slapping yours, only drowned out by your cries of pleasure as the kitchen table warmed under your red-hot contact and the world turned into Austin: the heat of his skin, softness of his hair, the way he smelled of sweat and leather from the vintage jacket he’d worn today. Everything outside this moment was tiny compared to the feeling of him inside you, touching all the right places.

Austin found the spot he knew best, the one that made you cry out the loudest and squeeze around him, holding back tears of pleasure. Thoughts dwindled and deserted you, replaced by actions.

Your ankles pressing into his ass, begging to take him deeper and faster.

Fingernails clawing down his back, trying to hold on.

"Such a good girl for Daddy."

Austin whispered into your ear, so close it felt like the words came from within you, 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

The flash of white when you convulsed around him. The scream. More desperate clawing, trying to find something to hang onto, clawing at his sweat-slick back.

Mumbling everything and anything into his neck. I love you. I love you fucking me like this. Don’t stop. Please don’t ever stop.

Then he collapsed, all the weight of his muscled body on top of yours, hips thrusting wildly. Thought was beyond both of you now: this was pure instinct. Need. Tongue and teeth on your shoulder. Trying to hold back, make it last for longer, but ultimately knowing the game was up.

Austin came inside you with a growl, pumping through his orgasm until he was totally spent, half-collapsed on top of you. 

Once you’d both caught your breath, he carried you to the bedroom bridal-style and lay you down, bringing you close to his chest and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled sleepily against his chest.

When you woke up the next morning, he was still there, clinging to you like a raft in troubled water. Yours.

[ashleywool]

but getting older means more awkward situations

Turned 37 yesterday. The 34 guilty convictions were a very nice present. Probably the best present I've ever received, including last year, when my present was a literal Broadway contract (ok, technically we found out on June 22, but tomato/tomahto).

A less nice present was the letter from my building management informing me that if I renew my lease (which I won't), my rent will be raised to what would have been 33% of my net income if HTDIO was still running. It was about 29% before, which is still a lot, but worth it for the ability to have no roommates in a decent apartment.

And when I say "decent," I mean decent in that it checks most of the basic boxes amenable to a reasonable quality of life. That is, if you don't mind having a walkup with a perpetually dysfunctional kitchen ceiling light, a radiator that you can't turn on, water damage on the ceiling due to other people's radiator dysfunction, construction outside your window during the day, aggressively loud pedicabs in the evening, and squeaky garbage trucks at 1am. So basically, a decent quality of life for heavy sleepers (which I am not) with fully functional body temperature regulation (again, not me) and no mobility issues whatsoever (I do check that box, at least for now).

The plus sides are: it's right in Hell's Kitchen, and within walking distance to most of the places I regularly go, it's a reasonably sturdy and non-fire-hazardy building for its age (which means I feel comfortable leaving my cats there) with functional plumbing and electricity (except the kitchen ceiling light), never had a pest problem, the refrigerator and microwave are brand new and excellent quality, the oven is younger than me, although it's small, and only one of the burners doesn't work.

I'm no stranger to the horror stories of NYC apartment living. I know I'm still more privileged than most to live in a place that's decent.

But it's not "you need a six-figure income and perfect credit just to APPLY to live here" decent.

It's not "you owe $9K in deposits and broker fees before you even move in" decent.

It's not "you must have either consistent exorbitant wealth or significant supplementary generational wealth in order to stay here" decent.

"So just get a job. Just get a roommate. Just put up with more problems. Suck it up. Or move back in with one of your parents again."

Sure. Okay. I'd love to. But.

When the minimum wage is $16 an hour, this isn't a "just get a job" problem.

When you're a highly trained professional at the highest level of your field and you're unemployed because corporate landlords were mad that your show wasn't selling $800 tickets in the middle of January like your neighbors at Merrily, this isn't a "just leave the industry" problem.

When finding a new career that would pay anything near what you need to live in this city would require taking out a small fortune in student loans to get another degree just to qualify for entry-level jobs that still won't pay your bills until you significantly advance, this isn't a "you majored in theatre, what did you expect" problem.

When you're autistic and chronically fatigued, fastidious about cleanliness and clutter, and religiously adhere to schedules and routines and predictability in your own space, this isn't a "just get a roommate" problem.

When you are a more-famous-than-average individual whose autism is directly tied to the things you're best known for, and Reddit is full of nightmare stories about what it means to have an autistic roommate, and Reddit is also rife with lies and rumors about you specifically, this isn't a "just get a roommate" problem.

And while I love my parents and have great relationships with both of them and they are doing everything they can to support me...for complicated logistical and personal reasons that are none of the Internet's business, "just move back in with your parents" is not a super helpful solution either.

But if I don't find a miracle between now and the end of August, that's probably what I'll end up doing.

And the crazy thing is, the fact that that's even an option for me STILL makes me more privileged than MOST people.

Nobody should have to face the situation I'm facing, and yet millions of people--especially disabled people--face this and worse, with far less support than I have. A cornerstone of my advocacy has been pointing out this inequity as often as I can, and trying to use my privilege and platform to help and amplify people who don't have those resources.

At this point in my career, I am supposed to be throwing down the ladder. Instead, and in spite of everything, I'm clinging to the ladder for dear life while the rungs crack beneath my feet.

And it all comes down to the landlords.

Legislation that limits the acquisition power and earning power of property owners, and enacts strict rent caps for residential AND business buildings, would solve 98% of my problems and approximately 75% of everyone else's problems in this city. (Please don't quote me on these statistics, they are sourced directly from my ass and are for idealistic illustrative purposes only.)

Anyway. Um.

34 felony convictions is still a beautiful thing.

[payservewomen]

I’m tempted to say “I’ve hit a new low”😔 but in reality, I’ve been at rock bottom for…a very long time. Years I suppose.

But at least a few years ago, I interacted with women outside of work. But now? I don’t even leave my bedroom on my days off from work.

I sit on my bed, watching humiliation clips; calling ignore phone lines; taking embarrassing photos of myself; edging myself, oftentimes for many hours(almost never less than 4hrs. up to 12hrs)

The one newer development is- I’ll edge for a while, but then the sadness/anxiety makes me go limp….or i’ll be semi hard but my loser penis only grows slightly larger.

It’s like i’m trying to keep in as small as possible, because I know it should be teeny tiny. It CAN grow to 7in but considering how pathetic I am, part of me wishes I had a microdick. Then I could forget these thoughts i have of becoming a normal person again.

Then I could search 24/7 for a superior woman who wants to use and abuse me.

I fantasize about meeting a woman and dating….Getting comfortable with her to the point that I’m able to do the best I’m capable of in making her orgasm…. But then we open up and share kinks etc….and i know as time goes on, there will be many times my dick doesn’t work.

Slowly over time, she realizes just how much of a beta i am, and begins flirting with real, confident men.

By this time, we’re living together; Maybe one month she asks me to cover all the rent, then bills and spends her money on going out….Then a “friend” of hers(maybe with a unisex name that’s usually a woman’s name)is coming into town; she offers our place to stay….Tells me to make dinner etc saying “ali loves lobster tails and filet mignon! I know ur low on money, but it’s ok! I’ll still have enough left until ur next paycheck! Thanks sweetie! Maybe we’ll meet at the airport, then I’ll let you know when we’re on our way, flight gets in i think about 5pm but who knows if it’ll be on time”

I get off work, begin prepping everything….texting her asking if ali’s plane arrived at 5:30….”it did but we’re tryna find the luggage etc. With traffic it’ll take quite a while, plan for a late dinner!”

By 6:30, still nothing, so i text then call to find her phones off.

I figure she’ll probably be walking in any minute….So i check the “find my iphone” tryna be extra sweet and have everything timed perfectly. I see it moved from the airport towards home and begin making dinner….Until i realize another hour has passed. I check it again to see it’s been somewhere between home and the airport for 2 hours now!

Next thing i know, it’s 10, then 11, then 12 midnight!

I’m dozing off and finally see a text “Omg babe i’m sorry! I lost track of time! Ali said getting a hotel room would be easier, and we’ve just been catching up but ugh it got so late and you know how i don’t like to drive at night anyway, so I’m just gonna stay here tonight, see ya tomorrow!”

I just fall asleep, and wake in the AM to see several weird video texts from a number i don’t know….I hear giggling and a man’s voice….almost seeming like someone’s trying to record something and my gf saying “no stop don’t! that’s mean ali!” There’s at least 4-5 clips like that, the last one ending with my girlfriends sexy belly on the screen. I figure ohhh they’re just having fun i guess? But it did give me a bad feeling in my stomach….

Those vids were sent at about 1am. Then at 2am, just a close up of what i’m sure is my gf’s skin, but i can’t tell what part of her body…..but the audio on it was simply my gfs voice sounding like she’s whining or moaning or something? and saying “mmmmm ohhhhk fuck it”

Then 30mins later the clip begins blacked out, but with clear audio…just sounds like licking and slurping….Then a man’s voice “yeah worship it bitch. Now, say it” then the phone moves, showing an arrogant looking man smiling, then it slowly pans down over his entire perfectly fit muscular body….very slowly, stopping on each part of his stunningly perfect body….i mean this guy had an 8pack! Absolutely chiseled in every way. Then it stops to show his abs and v-lines, and then slowly shows his balls…I didn’t know balls could actually be that big!

Then slowly as possible, the camera moves to show the thickest cock i’ve ever seen!

Then the vids stop…but there’s a text at 4am with only an address….my gf knows i wake up for work at 4am…

i call and text her but her phones off ofc. I go to work, and finally around noon, my gf calls saying she’s going shopping with Ali, saying she didn’t bring any of her credit cards asking if i’ve got any money left…i tell her i’m not sure how much, but i’ve got $500 in a sportsbook app from winning the night before…”omg babe that’s perfect! Don’t worry i can move it from there, is it your normal password?” I answer yes, and ask her just to leave at least $100 or so….

And ask if theyre gonna be having dinner tonight…”yeah sweetie we are! I’ll let you know when we’re on the way”

I ask her wtf all those vids were. and who that guy was and she replies “huh? Wait what? You’re telling me you got videos from a random number?! And it had a perfect man’s body with a horse cock?! Lol babe i dunno what websites you’ve been visiting but i’d imagine it’s something to do with that!🤣 What?! u think i’m cheating on you with an old friend or something?! jk! Love u babe”

I hang up the phone and immediately get the same text with the same address, i look up the address to find a really really nice hotel is there. Then another text comes through simply saying “penthouse suite, beta cuck”

Then another text….just a screenshot of a receipt from stub hub for tickets to the nuggets game that night, 5:10pm. 2 tickets, $250 each, wow, better than i’ve ever had for sure.

Then one more text again with the hotels address, saying “ur welcome to stop by whenever, but i suggest you either wait for us to get there or something. not getting up to open the door if we busy fuckin. Can’t wait to see your bitch ass cry🤣”

This one hits me like a ton of bricks and it’s feeling more n more that it’s gotta be exactly what it seems….but no way she’d do this to me!

The great part of our relationship is complete and total honesty and openness! My gf, allison is kinky and loves to be a dirty slut, and we have talked about her fucking others, maybe even a gangbang!

But we’d only done a handful of super kinky things….we’re both submissive so it’s kinda hard to push it and try really crazy n kinky things….we both need that more aggressive attitude!

But i know she loves me deeply. We’ve such an intensely strong emotional connection, more than either of us ever have!

Still no word from my gf and it’s 8pm. At 9pm she finally texts me but it’s the exact same as from the other phone number and it’s just the hotel address and room number…..I call her back, and it rings and rings until going to voicemail. Maybe she didn’t hear it, i call again…it rings 3-4times, less than the last time, then goes to voicemail. I try again and it rings twice then voicemail….Again, same thing. I call yet AGAIN, prob the 6th time and it goes straight to voicemail!

I check the phone locator app and see her phone was at ball arena(nuggets play there)the length of the game….and moved to exactly where the hotel is.

I get dressed, now fearing the worst, but thinking “ok this makes no sense! Either she’s playing some joke on me; something weird like that or some surprise for me?”But i do realize that the most likely thing is…maybe she’s been partying with her friend, she cheated and isn’t sure how to deal with me…..But what’s up with the pics etc? ofc she’s aware of my pervy kinks etc, and she’s prob making it seem like she’s cheating on me, i’m hoping!

I walk to the light rail station, and get on the train….Ugh yeh don’t have the money to get an uber…i checked my bet365 account to see its at zero!

Wtf?! I had some futures bets….ones i could cash out for about $250 total, but they were all just cashed out! i’ve not one bet at all and no money here!

I see that $800 was withdrawn and my bank account was credited $800! But $500 used for the tickets, and $300 spent at some weird fancy store downtown.

Ok that’s it i’ve gotta see what’s up as i’m sitting on the train, mind running wild. Fuck, i gotta get off and walk 20mins, then get a bus!

I get off the train, walking to the bus stop…..Bus finally comes and oh fuck, as i’m tryna buy a bus ticket on the app(for $2.75) It dawns on me “fuck i don’t have enough money in my account” i look at the driver and say “i’m not sure why it’s not working” he looks at it and says “yeah cuz you’re card is being declined, sorry” and closes the doors.

I’m defeated and want to cry. Looking at google, i see it’ll take 2.5 hours to walk there….

It’s now almost 10pm and i consider going back home, but then wtf?! I can’t just sit at home wondering wtf is going on!

So i walk and walk…i watch the clip again and again of the perfect man’s body, fantasizing that the woman i’m in love with is cheating on me in the meanest way possible….Finally, it’s after midnight and I arrive at the hotel….I ask the front desk how to get to the penthouse, and she tells me “the elevator is right over there, but Sir, there isn’t anyone staying there right now”

I thank her and walk away tryna figure out what to do.

I text my gf asking why she texted me that address. she texts back right away with another address! I lose it and call a few times, each time it’s sent to voicemail. I text her back yelling “OK WTF is going on?! What’s your problem? Tell me what’s happening right fucking now!”

She texts back “i’m sorry sweetie, i didn’t mean to upset you! Just having fun with my friend, sorry guess i didn’t realize….I’ll be home tonight, but we’re out, omg babe i’m so drunk! I’ll see you at home, probably late!”

So i begin to walk back home…and remember the light rail isn’t running anymore….Now, I’ve got a 3.5 hour walk!

Finally i arrive home, it rained a little and i’m soaked, socks wet, and miserable and exhausted….

I open the door and hear slurping sounds and my gf giggling. My heart sinks and i already know what’s happening….I yell “wtf are you laughing about?! The fuck is wrong with you, ur being a fucking bitch!”

And i see the same man from the clips emerge from my bedroom, butt naked….he’s holding my favorite shirt, sweat dripping off his immaculate body and he wipes it off, then wipes his asshole with it, now it has skidmarks and throws it at me, saying “wtf did you say bitch?”

I ask who he is and what he’s doing at my place he replies “whatever tf i feel like doing faggot!” I say no it’s my place, and no i’m not gay” i emphasize gay, since i’m not a fan of bigotry and homophobia…”yeh didn’t say your gay, but you ARE a bitch ass faggot! Wtf you gonna do about it, huh? that’s wtf i thought, now, on your knees…obey or i’m gonna beat you up so badly….maybe you’ll get outta the hospital by the time i get out of jail, but it’s your choice” while making his pecs bounce in a very intimidating way. he walks up to me cracking his knuckles saying “ya know, i really DO hope you put up a fight; nobody ever wants to fight me” I look him up and down, knowing he’d kill me quickly….He’s gotta be a foot taller than me….im 5’9 and he’s gotta be at least 6’6!

I ask if i can take my shoes and wet socks off first and he laughs then slaps me in the face, open handed but hard, immediately followed by a left handed slap, i lose my balance and stumble to my knees, then i say “ok ok” on my knees looking up at him.

“Thank me for bullying you. Do it bitch” i thank him, he laughs, spits on me and gives me a wedgie….i make noise indicating it’s hurting, and he proceeds to give me an atomic wedgie…laughs then demands i take my clothes off but keep my wet socks on….

He laughs hysterically at my dick and shouts “baby, how tf were you actually fucking THIS?! omfg, ok come on slut”

And i see my love…she’s crawling on all fours..crawls up to this greek god and begins kissing his feet. She works her way up his legs, as she kisses and licks literally every inch of his perfect body.

Ali then says “ok now, don’t make me tell you again”

She looks me directly in my eyes “Bobby, keep looking in my eyes, ali says we must keep eye contact and he’s in charge here, ok? Please listen to what he says, i don’t want you to get hurt, i really don’t…not physically anyway. I say that because i i i DO want you to get emotionally hurt. I am sorry but when Ali told me he wanted to fuck me, i told him about you. Over months he kept teasing me for fucking such a loser; i love you but you are a loser. He’s been sending me pics of him, and the girls he fucks and omg babe, they cum so hard, and I fondly remembered being fucked by ali. I broke up with him cuz he cheated constantly and i thought that wasn’t ok, Now i realize how superior he is. It’s a small price to pay to be allowed to touch a superior man, im sure you understand. After i admitted how badly i wanted him he began insulting you and making fun of you. He made me take pics and record our sex, and that’s why i haven’t cum in so long, he said i wasn’t allowed with a loser like you. Ali is a sadist, he loves to make women worship him and loves nothing more than breaking beta men like you. That’s not an insult; you’re a beta, he’s an alpha, ya know?

He’s been planning for months to do this….it’s his masterpiece of destroying a loser!”

By this time i’m crying, tears streaming down my face…

“now bobby, we’re recording all of this and you’re now going to thank ali for making your fantasies come true. I know it hurts; the goal is to break you. Ali and i will marry, and you will work for us and live in a tiny room in the basement. U will be used and abused. I know it hurts but this is your new life now. Sure you can run away or something, but then ali will send all the vids and clips to your entire contact list.

But right now you’re going to beg ali to let you eat his sweaty asshole, do it you fucking piece of shit!” By this time ali is rubbing her pussy with his foot and it’s making her horny af….mmm fuck, i fucking hate you loser!” And she spits on me, confusing and hurting me.

I begin to beg to eat his asshole….

And wow, I began this planning on just whining about being so sad and pathetic but then wrote all this…wow i’ve got issues

[ara0minthe]

Tuesday, 13th of August / Mardi 13 août

────୨ৎ────

Café "Debotte", in Nantes, France.

Sleep / Sommeil : 1am to 11:30am

I'm proud for sleeping before 2am, but I got out of bed late even though I was supposed to wake up at 9:30am.

I was so tired, I guess the day before had made me really tired so I couldn't help but push back my alarm clock 😭.

Health / Santé : Ate alright; not excessively,

(which I can feel proud of, because I do tend to eat too much or snack excessively when I stay at home too much , so I'm fighting against that, and lately it's been nice.)

Today I walked 6500 steps. That's an alright dose of activity (for me).

Study / Études : 20 minutes of revision only. And 20 minutes of reading my book "kilomètre zéro". (It's a French book)

Since I got up at almost 12 today and got out with friends, I had almost no time to work.

And my family always interrupts me so it's hard to study when they're around.

And when I got home after going out, I was tired and my mind could not work, so I forced myself to read two chapters of my book at least.

My day / Ma journée :

Woke up late. Did a few things. Managed to revise for 20 minutes before going out to meet some friends.

For the first time, I got to a café, and it was with 2 bff's on top of that. (It was in my summer to do list so I can cross that) (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭

And we ate some pâtisseries with coffee and hot chocolate.

I ate a "fraisier" with " du chocolat chaud à la chantilly"

The café was empty when we entered so it was just us, and we ate and talked a lot. Since it was just us, we were so comfortable, and the workers were lovely.

Our other friends are traveling so it was just us 3 from the friend group today. (Funny thing, the 2 friends I got out with today both have the same name) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Then it's already 5pm, we spent an hour talking in the cafe and one of the friend has to go.

So we escorted her and got to the "Fnac" (dunno if y'all know this store, it sells electronic devices and all types of books, it's well-known in France).

We took a tour of the store, just looking around while talking. (Friends really make life experiences a hundred times better ♡♡♡)

Then she also has to go, so I also go, I look around a bookstore that resells books. There was one I'm looking for called "Beach Read", I wanted to buy a used one for cheap but didn't find it. (I could read it in French because I live in France and the book has been translated, but I sometimes like to buy books in English so my English level doesn't decrease. And I'm glad I can buy english books in France, and they also happen to cost less than the french version, which is nice.)

Anyway, I decided to command it in a library, it should be available in less than a week.

Then, I buy some cookies for my hungry brother at home.

And on the way home, I buy myself a bubble tea and a poke bowl.

Wasn't really hungry, so that was my dinner.

When I got home I was just so tired. I wanted to sleep immediately, but it was 8pm, too early.

I preferred to wait until a more adequate sleeping time so I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep for multiple hours. 😔

Anyway, I kept myself busy, read, journaled, right now it's 11:30pm and I will now sleep immediately.

My goal for tomorrow is to wake up at 9am.

(Sleep is my worst flaw right now, and it's the hardest thing for me to improve on, waking up at 9 may seem like nothing for most people, but as ridiculous as it may sound, it's a real challenge for me. And I CAN wake up early if something obligates me, like school or other social reasons. But if it's for myself, it's almost impossible.)

Anyway. I will now sleep and wish for the better.

À plus les chouchous, on se voit demain <3.

By the way, I thought about that only know, but I know right now there are lots of tourists in France because of the Olympic games, and it's even been a few weeks that I hear multiple languages when I go out, like Italian and English, which doesn't happen usually.

Nantes, the city where I live is also part of the 10 most populated cities in France, it's not far from Paris and situated in the West, so it makes sense that people also come to Nantes.

So I was just thinking about that, if some of you are in Nantes right now let me know, I could give out multiple places to visit and lots of things to do. Nantes is an incredible city, there is so much to do.

So let me know. And have an excellent time in France and its beautiful cities. <33

[svnflower-writes]

i just need some company now

“Moony?” Sirius took one long look at the taller boy and fell into his welcoming embrace, letting his shaky hands cling to Remus’ back as he buried his head into his chest. “Oh, Moony. Thank Merlin you’re here.”

or

In which Remus is at James’ house when Sirius runs away, and that alone makes everything better.

i listened to gracie abrams while writing this and even though it’s not even a very sad piece, i still felt like i was going to cry bc gracie + me + 1am = sadness . inspired (kind of) by comfort crowd by conan gray, i have a new habit of writing wolfstar fics at 2am so i made a tag for it

wolfstar + implied jegulus

fluff + light angst

James was half asleep when the two heard a knock on the door. When the dark-haired boy attempted to get off the couch, he ended up falling onto the floor, where he knocked over his long-since discarded glass of water. Remus let out a snicker and left James spitting out drowsy curse words at the water as he trudged his way down the hallway to the door.

Opening the door, he started a default: “hello, how are you?” that he always used when answering a door, but he was cut off halfway through the ‘hello’. Standing on the steps was Sirius Black, drenched by rain, exhausted, and in need of a warm meal. The long-haired boy’s eyes lit up as he saw Remus, the tiredness still there but much less important than the relief rushing through his veins.

“Moony?” Sirius took one long look at the taller boy and fell into his welcoming embrace, letting his shaky hands cling to Remus’ back as he buried his head into his chest. “Oh, Moony. Thank Merlin you’re here.” Sirius’ tension instantly eased and he found peaceful solace in the comforting hold and he was overrun with an immense feeling of gratitude about how the world had been in his favour tonight. Tonight and always; because Sirius Black was endlessly grateful for Remus Lupin and he swore he would be until the day he died.

Remus slowly adjusted to the hug, letting his arms wrap around Sirius’ lower back as he breathed in softly. He was painfully aware of how alarmingly cold Sirius’ skin was, and he couldn’t help but wonder how long he had been outside in the crisp night air for. “What are you doing here, Pads?”

“Had to get out of that house. That fucking house.”

Remus took note of the bitterness in his tone and the bags in his hands and knew exactly what was going on. “Alright, let’s get you inside. You’re going to catch a cold.”

“I’d say you’re being like my mother but I don’t want to compare the two of you.” Sirius muttered, shivering in Remus’ arms. Remus wondered whether his mother would even care if he got sick from standing outside at night for hours—he certainly had his doubts, considering that she was half the reason Sirius had been outside just past midnight, almost catching his death. Merlin, he hated that woman.

Remus led Sirius inside with a hand on his lower back to keep him steady, finding James in almost exactly the same position he had been sat in earlier, eyes drooping and empty glass in his hands.

“James!”

The boy jolted awake in alarm and his eyes widened at the sight of his best friend in his rain-soaked clothes with his curls sticking to his forehead, “Pads? Merlin, you look like shit.”

Sirius took one look at James’ eye bags and messy hair and chuckled softly from where he stood leaning against Remus, “you don’t look so great yourself, Prongsie. Up too late thinking about my brother again, I assume?”

James mumbled something inaudible under his breath, blushing deeply as he looked away in embarrassment.

“James?” At Remus’s words, he looked up.

“Yeah?”

“Go get some sleep. I’ll take care of Pads.”

James looked like he was about to protest when he let out an exhausted yawn and he sighed in surrender, ‘yeah, okay. I’ll see you two lovebirds in the morning.”

As he turned and plodded slowly up the stairs, Sirius called out to him with a teasing yawn, “and don’t think too much about my brother!”

James flipped him off.

Sirius let out a quiet yawn and Remus sat him down on the couch, grabbing two blankets from the cupboard before returning to see Sirius staring at him. Remus sat down next to him and pulled a blanket over both of their shoulders, sending him a slightly wonky grin as he watched Sirius attempt to fix his hair.

Sirius looked at him with a smile before sighing softly, “I’ve missed you so much. I didn’t even know it was possible to miss someone this badly. The nightmares get worse when you’re not with me. Everything gets worse when you’re not with me.”

Remus’ heart sank. “Oh, love. I’m sorry, I’m here with you now. I’m here now and I’m not leaving.”

Sirius looked up at him and slowly brought their lips together in a kiss that spoke a thousand words; a kiss that made up for the weeks on end the two had had to spend apart. The kiss was soft and unhurried, giving the two boys a sweet reminder of how it felt to be close again. Sirius sat on Remus’ lap, arms around his neck as Remus’ hands found their rightful place in Sirius’ long curls.

Pulling away, Sirius grinned at Remus through the dark curls that had fallen into his eyes while they were kissing, and Remus laughed softly at the sight, softly brushing the hair behind his ear and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Gradually, as the night went on, the two ended up lying sprawled out on the couch, Sirius resting his head on Remus’ chest while Remus stroked his hair with a look of soft yearning on his face. Sirius looked up suddenly, taking one of Remus’ hands in his own and causing the brown haired-boy to glance down at him with a look that held more love than he had ever received in his life.

“Moony?”

“Mhm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“But Moony?”

“Yeah?”

“We had the perfect opportunity to experience an iconic rain kiss and we blew it.”

“Well, can you hear that?” Remus asked with a soft smirk on his face, and Sirius grinned when he heard the sound of rain falling on the roof above them. “It seems like we still have a chance to cross that off the bucket list.”

[followedmystar]

HELLO FRIENDS I AM REPORTING FROM THE DEPTHS OF OFMD BRAINROT

If you haven't checked it out yet, you are absolutely SLEEPING on an amazing, vibrant, creative, and alarmingly productive fandom. Please join me in hell, it's lovely in here

Here are some Ed/Stede fics that took me out AT THE KNEES. That left me gasping for air. That ruined my life, and I'd let them do it again, thanks. Current OFMD peeps may find no surprises here, but lots and lots of my followers are not current OFMD peeps and I'm going to drag you down with me if it's the last thing I do ok thanks love you bye

Tree Change by ClaireGregory (E. So E. So very very E.) Ecologists by day, fic writers by night, fuck buddies for one month only (unless…) Claire never misses and this modern AU is no exception. She's turned this into a rollicking multi-layer meta commentary on fandom, fanworks, the creative process, OFMD canon, the whole bit. If you think you found all the layers, no you didn't. In progress, updating every other week or so. She also has a ridiculous wealth of completed fics if that's more your jam. You really can't go wrong with ANY of them.

Temptation 'Verse by Shearwater (T-M, depending - currently heading for NSFW territory but not there yet) Ed's an artist, Stede's a bookseller. They're both a bit surprised to have met the love of their life at this late stage in the game. This one. Oh, this one. I started with Constellationism (the second of two fics currently in the 'verse) and went back to the first with no ill effects. Constellationism absolutely sucked all the air out of my lungs, left me actually literally breathless. The writing is so rich and decadent. This Ed and this Stede are so beautiful. Oh my god. Also in progress, updating less often, but who fucking cares.

Darkness (noun): the partial or total absence of light by fishfronds (M) Stede & Ed cave dive together. As they map a previously unexplored section on a return to their first-ever dive spot, an accident leaves them with no choice but for one to leave the other behind in a barely-habitable, partially-dry cave and send rescue. CAVE DIVING AU. You'll laugh. You'll swoon. You'll gasp. You'll cry. No seriously, there were actual real life tears from me. And you'll be on the edge of your seat the whole. damn. time. This one is brand new AND complete, the product of the fandom's Big Bang that's just recently completed. So there's art too! God, I completely no-lifed this one. I feel like there should be an award for fics that keep me up until the wee hours of the morning because I just cannot put them down. This fic deserves the biggest and shiniest one. Fuuuck.

not pickles by smallestchurch (E) Ed's minding his business when the new neighbor's kid comes around holding a human puppet. It's creepy as hell, but as soon as the kid's father rounds the corner, Ed doesn't mind. I don't even know how to explain this one other than the writing is so original and the kids are so realistically weird and it will fill you with joy and sorrow and love and a kaleidoscope of other beautiful human emotions and it will also make you guffaw so hard you wake your husband up from a dead sleep at 1AM.

Sincerely, Captain Thomas by stitchy In which Stede and Ed are stuck ashore, and accidentally become pen pals. You've Got Ye Olde Maile! A oneshot! Oneshots are my beloved. This epistolary fic takes place between S1 and S2 and plays with language and expectations. Or maybe it does what it says on the tin and I just read it without so much as glancing at the summary. I fucking loved it okay?