#(my logic is alternate universes and/or not canon to my story)

[nyaskitten]

EDIT: THIS POST IS INACCURATE !!!

I made the assumption Olive was editing the wiki articles, and while that's a very logical conclusion to reach, it was actually someone who shares the same viewpoints as them!!! Anything including the wiki articles and Olive's involvement is wrong and that's my bad!!!

Alright fellas, I guess we did it. We have reached the tipping point. I'm going to dedicate this post to calling out one specific person, @olivescales3, and their very toxic behavior. This post will be a bit messy, and I do apologize in advance, I'm writing this from the perspective of a Ninjago fan who also thinks beyond just the petty fandom stuff, what they're doing is just not cool.

I will clarify, I do not make this post for petty fandom drama, I make this to better spread awareness on some of the bullshit they're doing, so you can look out for and understand that they're bullshitting. Without further ado, I think we should just get into it.

So, what have they done?

Now, I should say while there is no 100000% concrete link between hyenabro and olivescales, I think based on their talking points (as well and the information I've recieved from friends in the Chima fandom, who have a bunch of prior experience with them,) it's safe to make this assumption!

So, what has olivescales DONE in this case? Simple, they've vandalized the Chima wiki on NUMEROUS occasions, even after several different people have revised their revisions, so as to discredit any conenctions between Dragons Rising and Chima.

(Green is their edits, red is the ones prior to theirs, I found this while going through their contributions section on their Fandom account, HyenaBro119)

As seen here, they have (under the username HyenaBro119) edited the pages for Chima AND the Forever Rock (I have two similar screenshots of essentially the same thing, one was from the Forever Rock article, the other was from Chima) and claimed Ninjago's lore to be some alternate universe. To further validate it, they write "Ras' visit to," but Ras NEVER claimed to have VISITED these locations, just that he knows them. They also claim the Forever Rock was destroyed, a blatant lie. Only a small section of rock on the Forever Rock was actually destroyed, not the whole thing.

Now, you're gonna ask "but Raine, how can you 100000% say it's them?" and I will cite common sense. While I cannot directly tie Olive to hyena, I CAN say their wording is SO very similar.

Both Hyena and Olive call DR "a parallel/alternate universe," and again, claim Forever Rock was destroyed, WHICH IS A FULL ON LIE. They're so adamant to protect "the sanctity of Chima's pre-established, set-in-stone lore" that they can't stop to think maybe, JUST MAYBE, sometimes a story can get new lore which can ALSO be canon!

I'd also love to share this HILARIOUS screenshot of one of their many posts, which not only backs up what I'm saying, but it's like damn they really set themself up huh!

Gee I wonder why you feel alone! Maybe it's because you are! Maybe it's because you're lying and making shit up to prove yourself right! No one is as big of a hater as you!

The also LOVE saying Ninjago cannot do anything with Chima unless they get express permission from the creator of Chima, some guy named John Derevlany, but oh man what's this I see before me?

CO-CREATOR? Oh but Olive, I thought he was the CREATOR of Chima, not CO-creator... ALSO Lego owns the rights to Chima, and Ninjago, and every other theme, as said by Doc himself! If anything he wasn't really dodging the question, just giving a vague answer, because he doesn't know much about the old contracts!

From what he said, it's clear that if they wanted to use anything from the other themes, they'd have to consult folks over at LEGO, not John Derevlany or Tommy A.!

Now here's the THING, I GET where they're coming from, it CAN be annoying to have people only care about a thing you like in relation to something else, but when you're going out of your way to argue that none of it can be canon and it's all an alternate universe it's like... god it's so sad and pathetic really.

Their lies and BS don't even end there with the wiki shit, because I have THIS glorious gem.

A) They bring up that the Ninjago folk do not know who the Phoenixes are which is like, okay??? Why the fuck are they gonna know about how another universe was created??? That's like if someone told me I don't exist in the same universe as my glasses because I have no clue who made them, that is to say, that's stupid as FUCK to say!

B) OH they say something REAAALLL funny ohohohho I am actually dying. Olive says the Phoenix icon "appeared in a Ninjago episode" and "Ninjago tends to reuse assets." Yep, NINJAGO is the one who reused the phoenix symbol, mhm. The symbol that was made in 2011 for NINJAGO, which cameoed in CHIMA in 2014, was actually just an asset reuse by Ninjago. I feel like this actually goes to show how desparate they are to feel right and validated, because this? This a lie! Ninjago made the symbol, and because Tommy A. is co-creator to both, he wanted to slip in a neat Ninjago reference, so he slipped in the Phoenix symbol Nya uses for the Phoenix tribe, not the other way around!

Another REALLY funny thing they did, aside from the wiki and Phoenix symbol shit, was this hilarious attempt at being right!

Yes, the compared the WOLF Masks to BATman's cowl, and did a horribly rough comparison illustration that very much does not make sense. If you actually compared them side by side, the only similarities would be they're both angry animal themed mask with pointy ears, which does NOT go very far in the long run. The foreheads they drew aren't even the same fucking shape lol.

OH ANS WE CANNOT FORGET THIS ONE! Their using a post about the Palestinian genocide and boycotting Lego in order to complain about Ninjago.

They claim Ninjago is produced by Lego, unlike other Lego shows, which is an EXTREMELY bullshit fucking claim. Just like Chima and Nexo Knights, Ninjago is produced by Lego, it's not JUST Ninjago produced by Lego, they are all Canadian-Danish CGI action shows, and they're all known to have Tommy Andreasen involved in the creation of them.

They're using a post about boycotting for the sake of innocent people DYING to complain about a lego ninja show for... killing evil people? It doesn't glorify war, the worst it does in regards to war is like not address how fucked up it can be in regards to the Serpentine War, but that's like it. I think it's so funny they want to single out Ninjago as if it's the only TV series where villains die for trying to conquer/destroy the world.

So, what do I want the takeaway from this post to be? What do I want you to get from it? I don't really know anymore, I just don't want Olive's horrendously toxic behaviors, and straight up lies to stop. If anything I think it's beautiful that Ninjago is making others interested in revisiting Chima again, stop being such a fucking hater dude. They act like Chima is some holy grail of Lego, the greatest thing since bread, but it, just like Ninjago, Dreamzzz, Hidden Side, and Nexo Knights, have Tommy in creative roles.

To act like Chima is somehow greater than is to place it on an unrealistic pedestal as if it's a godsend, when in reality it was co-created by Tommy Fucking Andreasen.

If you read through all of this, I do THOROUGHLY appreciate it, I didn't mean for this post to descend into an angry ramble but ehhh yk how it is. And Olive, if you see this, please, just stop with the bullshit.

[bennie-jerry]

My Beef with Miguel O'Hara - A Spiderverse Rant

If you've read the title of this, you already know who I'm gonna be crapping on.

I know some of y'all are gonna flame me in the comments, but I do not care. Now, if you’re willing to bring up counterpoints about a FICTIONAL topic in a respectful manner, I’ll listen no problem because I don't mind being wrong (and I actually HOPE I'm wrong about this since I WAS excited about watching Miguel in action because there was so much hype around him). But if you take me having beef with a fictional character as me having beef with YOU, then I politely ask you to spare your mental health and drink some hot chocolate under a blanket after you click away from this post, thank you. 

Now back to the topic.

Most of us Spider-Man fans have seen the movie, "Across the Spider-Verse" at some point (and if you haven't, what are you doing? Go watch it, it's on Netflix). Excluding everything that makes it a masterpiece aside, there's one character in the movie who really grinds my gears. Not in terms of how they’re written, but more so just how they are as a person in general. 

Miguel O'Freaking'Hara. 

I do not like Miguel. I feel pity for him, but I do not like him. I do like him as a character, though. I feel like he definitely adds to the story and makes it interesting. I genuinely feel like ATSV would’ve been really boring if he wasn’t part of it. But I do not like him as a person. 

Miguel doesn't JUST have a stick up his butt, he has the whole TREE.

I couldn't care less about the fact this dude looks like a handsome statue because of the stuff he was doing to Miles. I think y’all forgot that this dude THREW A TABLE AT A MINOR UPON FIRST MEETING HIM and then has the nerve to throw away the food Miles got for him like it's trash. If that’s already not a red flag, I don’t know what is.

I don’t care if it was just ‘frustration.’ Miguel's 27 years old, he should know better. Unless Miles was attacking him in the beginning (which he wasn’t), there’s no reason he should’ve done that. But oh…I have much more beef with this dude than just a table. 

I understand that his supposed role and whatnot in the Spiderverse is that he has to keep canon events going. He has to get rid of 'anomalies.’ Unfortunately, Miles Morales (from Earth-1610) is an anomaly because he was never supposed to be the Spider-Man of his universe. So, what does Miguel do? He tries to obliterate the guy.

…Ex–freaking-scuse me?

"Oh, but Miguel tried to talk to Miles about everything!" 

Yeah. And he did it in the worst way possible. Miguel had absolutely no empathy towards the whole situation, then has the gall to wonder why Miles is running off and not listening to him. No dip, Sherlock. I'm pretty sure if you harshly told any normal person that someone they loved deeply was going to die and that they couldn't save them without any hint of compassion, they'd go against what you said and try to find a way to save them, bro. 

Miguel's whole schmo is that Miles becoming Spider-Man was bad because it created Spot and Spot's creating a bunch of problems. As a result, Miguel also tells Miles that saving his dad is not allowed. Here's where I have a problem with that logic. If Miles being Spider-Man is an anomaly in the first place, why NOT save Jeff as a way to prevent more anomalies from HAPPENING? If anything, Miles losing his dad would've just been another canon event for him to continue BEING Spider-Man, even though he wasn't supposed to be. Legit, this dude’s logic irritates the pee out of me.

Miguel's approach to the problem is also hypocritical considering that he lost his own wife and daughter in the universe he belonged to, then invaded ANOTHER UNIVERSE he didn't belong to, which honestly in my opinion makes Miguel look even worse to me. I'm willing to bet that Miguel’s alternate daughter could’ve been that universe’s spider hero, but because THIS vampire edge lord stepped into a universe that was NOT his, it prevented the canon event of the classic “Dead Guardian trope,” leading to that universe’s evaporation.

Another thing that irks me about the whole thing is that MILES IS LIKE 15-16 YEARS OLD. So as far as I'm concerned, O'Hara is trying to eliminate a KID. Even though he knows what it's like to lose a KID. No wonder the multiverse prevented him from being a father—he’s violent, unstable, and completely short-sighted. He’s out here chokeslamming a teenager and calling THEM the mistake. Just because you went through grief and trauma with your own children, it isn't an excuse to take the breath of another child. 

(Y'know, considering the events of Multiverse of Madness, I'm kinda seeing a pattern here--)

Miguel, for some reason, refuses to have a smidge of sensitivity for what Miles is going through. Heck, even Gwen and Peter Parker had more empathy for Miles despite them not telling him he wasn't supposed to be Spider-Man because they actually cared about his feelings TO SOME DEGREE.

I hate Miguel’s whole “You’re a mistake!” speech because Miles didn't create the spider. Miles didn't summon the spider. Miles didn’t choose to get bit. He didn’t find it on his own terms. Miles didn't choose to create Spot—the one who’s actually causing them problems. Someone ELSE brought the spider there. Someone ELSE took away a universe’s Spider-Man. Miles is just trying to deal with what he’s been given. So if Miguel wants to go after ANYONE for ‘anomalies’ in terms of Miles’ universe, he needs to track down the person who put something where it didn’t belong.

For crying out loud, he told the boy that HE was a mistake. It’d be one thing if he said “You being Spider-Man was a mistake” or something. But no. He says that Miles IS the mistake.

During that whole speech, it sounds like Miguel is trying to tell Miles that everything is HIS fault as if Miles had a choice in being bit. As if Miles even had a choice in the fact that a radioactive spider from an alternate universe chose to bite him. 

There were so many other ways Miguel could've handled the issue and he didn’t do that. I don’t care what his so-called intentions could/would be because it really put a disgusting taste in my mouth. 

I still have no respect for the fact that he hypocritically and previously invaded another reality where he was dead so he could be with his family--and here's what I mean by that.

Yes, I understand--Miguel's life on his original earth was freaking sad. He lost his wife and daughter. That's obviously a very tragic thing to go through. But it’s the fact that he's cracking down on Miles so badly despite Miguel LITERALLY being the one to pull a Kingpin vexes me. Miles had ALWAYS belonged to his universe. Miguel’s only in the dump he’s in because he was trespassing.

Don't get me wrong, I feel pity but I absolutely cannot stand the audacity of this man to go after a kid who got bit IN HIS OWN UNIVERSE even though Miguel was the one who contributed to some multiversal disaster in the Spider-verse. You could try to say, "Oh, it's because he doesn't want to make the same mistake again and shatter the Spider-verse or something!" While I could understand that, it’s still not a good reason for Miguel to do and say the stuff he did. I thought at the bare minimum, he'd be at least able to RELATE to Miles considering that he also lost people he cared about.

End conclusion: 

Miguel is vexing to me–but I don’t hate the way he’s written. If anything, I think if he wasn’t written this way, the ASTV movie would be very different. Whether that’d be for the better or the worse, I’m willing to bet most of this storyline wouldn’t even exist were Miguel not like this. So even though Miguel absolutely grinds my gears with his mindset and who he is as a character—I’m not mad at his writers. And I honestly feel like that’s just a showmanship of how great the writing for the Spider-Verse movies is. Good writing is when you’re mad at characters for the decisions THEY make, and not at the WRITERS for having them make those decisions. 

I’m out.

[utopianparadoxist]

Hi! I'm most interested on reading your version of HS extension(?) continuation? re-adaptation? Ever since I first saw your analysis on Dirk and Jake I've considered you with amazing grip of the characters and the HS universe over all, Dirk is one of my fav characters of all time (if not the), and there is nothing I'd want more for him than a happy ending, the epilogues were truly heart breaking for him (even though I was more than willing to see where they were going with him in HS^2 in hopes of seeing him reach a happy end) Homestruck was and still is one of my fav properties ever and I'd love to see more from you, I'm sorry you had a hard time but I'm really glad you're back, here and in a better headspace. That said, I guess I'm just somewhat confused on in you have something written already or if it's in the works or from where in the timeline you're continueing from ? Maybe you have like, a master post with your list of essays and fics?

I also loved your youtube videos btw

Thanks! It means a lot to read this. As to your question:

The main project I've been managing since the Epilogues got posted is Pumpkin Path/Pumpkin Track, a sequel to the Meat and Candy epilogues focused primarily on Pumpkins and Vegetables as an alternative form of fan consumption.

The first installment of this arc is THE APOCRYPHON OF JAKE ENGLISH (2019), which follows Meat Jake immediately following Ultimate Dirk's desertion of Earth C. Brain Ghost Dirk declares Dirkjake cancelled and (trigger warning) self-destructs, unleashing the inner barriers in Jake's psychology that he always used his inner Dirk voice to maintain.

Thus Jake's own mind begins to lead him down a rabbit hole of speculatory metaphysics, esoteric spiritual symbolism, and esoteric magic theory that ultimately leads to his ascension to Ultimate Self as Prince English: Himself wearing Dirk's shades and orange hat and essentially larping as a Prince in imitation of Dirk proper.

Through the power he gains from this, he blasts off from Earth C and tracks down Ultimate Dirk for a no holds barred 8eatdown in which he reclaims their lost love and makes Dirk his prisoner with chains of love and mercy, cancelling his ability to die and comitting to becoming the vill8in of Homestuck, as well as its Her8, if it means he can keep Dirk safe and alive.

In the process he finally establishes Dirkjake as indisputable endgame canon, and becomes the equivalent of the I AM Christian God, the new existential equivalent to Lord English himself, with a will that predominates completely over everything else in Paradox Space. There may be some surprises that happen along the way, too.

Now, That much of the story has been written and published since 2019. You can read it on A03 right now and always could. In fact, I'd encourage you to do so and @ me, as well as maybe tag it with #Pumpkin Path, #Pumpkin Track, or just straight up #Homestuck for all I care. I want eyes on this thing, and I wanted them 4 years ago.

That said:

I am now nearing completion on the follow-up to the Apocryphon as an intermission piece between the Epilogues and Pumpkin Track proper, with what is essentially ACT 1 of Pumpkin Track: W(1)LDSCR1PT-B4R0QU3STUCK, a high-drama spectacle driven continuation of the plot of the Epilogues centering on a confrontation between Ultimate Jake English and Meat Jade Harley, who must duel for the right to decide if Dirk Strider dies.

In the process of their battle and Jade's necessary Ascension to Ultimate Selfhood in order to Rise uP to the level necessary to compete against a being like Prince English, deeply hidden truths will be unveiled; about the lives of Jade and Jake, about the moral logic that rules Earth C, and about the very nature and purpose of Paradox Space itself.

If I have it my way, if all goes as I Hope, then nothing in Homestuck will ever be the same once it's posted. The Apocryphon was setup. Now it's fucking Sh8wt1m3, and I can't w8.

The first half of Wildscript is written and has been being beta'd for several months, and I have a full outline written for the rest. Anyone who gets their eyes on the thing seems to come away pretty excited. Sometime in the near future, I'll post the first four Chapters of Wildscript on Ao3 or some other platform, and update the rest as I go. And once Wildscript is finished, I have future Acts and Intermissions planned for the foreseeable eternity, tackling off the top of my head: Ultimate Ascensions for Rose and Kanaya, Vriska and Terezi, Roxy and Calliope, Jane Crocker, and Nepeta Leijon and Tavros Nitram as they lead the twin charges of Nepetaquest 3033.

There is no endpoint to my ambition for the future of Homestuck save simply: 8. The only question is whether the fandom wants to come along for the ride with me in the long run. I think Hope Remains that we'll have a great time here if they do.

If not, I hope they have even more fun elsewhere.

Let's rise.

[metal-organic-au]

Some time ago I made a drawing of Breezie X Metal from my AU as a mere joke and, I really like Shipp from Meteezie. That led to the creation of this non-canon variant of the Metal Organic universe. Where the events of Metal Organic AU take place in the world of the Archie Comics, although the events happen in a different way. This alternate variant (NOT Canon) named Metal Archie.

Here Metan turns into his version of Neo Metal Sonic, the difference is that here both Eggman and Sonic believe him dead, so he takes advantage of managing his plans from the shadows. (long story for another time)

This variant has its own story, there is also a fucking reason (with logic) why these two became a couple but as I said it will be for another time.

( Change the designs to make them different from their original versions )

[palfriendpatine66]

Writing Obi-Wan I got an amazing ask that has prompted your Pal to go on several rants so I’m breaking it into parts for readability.

An anon new to writing fanfic asked about characterizing Obi-Wan. They asked about his most important traits to include to really nail his characterization and most importantly:

"In particular, I'm confused about reconciling the (chaotic, dramatic, 10/10) Clone Wars happenings with the way he appears in some other stories (more, well, civilized)."

Well anon: ask and you shall receive. Find your pal’s beginner's thesis below, keeping in mind that there are many others in the fandom who are way more accomplished authors who are much better about characterization in their own works and are way more qualified to speak to this. I'm going to do my best!

I love this ask! Characterization is so important in fan fic as we take familiar characters in place them into different scenarios that we haven’t seen how they react and respond to, and yet want it to feel authentic. The best is when you read a chapter and think of course that’s how Obi-Wan would deal with this.

The first part to nailing characterization is voice. Not even the motivation aspects behind “he would not fucking say that” but I literally ask myself: can I imagine the character’s voice actually saying these things? If I can’t hear Ewan McGregor’s Obi-Wan in my mind speaking the lines of dialogue I’ve written, I know it’s not right. This isn’t something specific I could give you a How To on, it’s 100% based on vibe and feel, BUT. Listen to the dialogue in the movies/tcw/kenobi series. The words he uses, his cadence, his tone. Even if he's being written in an alternate universe speaking about something that canon Obi-Wan has never experienced, and never will, it should still *sound* like him. If I had to summarize his voice: civilized yes, and more mature or refined than Anakin’s speech patterns, but with the ever present threat of sass. Underlying almost everything he says is a sense of I can and will destroy you if you piss me off, so tread lightly.

That brings me to your point of reconciling the different parts of Obi-Wan. There’s a line in Stover’s novelization of Revenge of the Sith which (I'm paraphrasing) says: he’s a Jedi Master who deep down still feels like a padawan. To me, this is why he can be the cool, calm logical Jedi Master one moment and then impulsively launching himself out of windows to hang from a speeding droid the next.

He is the expert of Fake it Till You Make It. He was suddenly thrust into all these roles of responsibility before he was prepared for them, but has taken them on and is Doing His Best. He literally went from being a padawan to having a padawan overnight. He had no time to experience being responsible for himself before he was responsible for someone else. He’s the youngest member on the council and despite, you know, not being trained in the military he is like The Highest Ranking Jedi and in command of a frighteningly huge portion of the GAR. He *is* incredibly competent and good at what he does, but he feels like its a role he's acting. He is playing the part of the wise Jedi, modeling himself after everyone he respects and looks up to and thinks is doing a better job than himself, when a lot of times his personal instinct isn't to react with measured patience but rather Yeet! or Read This Bitch!

Always remember: this man contains multitudes. There is no One Right take on his personality. That’s why he’s so fun to write! And also why there’s so many different versions of Obi-Wan in fan fic, and yet most are able to feel right if they hit the voice. Authors lean into the different sides of Obi-Wan they want to bring out. Some are more into his Big Dick Energy, being a BAMF, having the answers, and being in control General Kenobi. Some relate to the more the anxious padawan desperate to prove himself. Some see the man tossing back shots in the Outlander and think to themselves “this ho has slept with half of Coruscant”. Any and all of these can feel true to the character when done from a place of love and understanding for our main man Obi-Wan Kenobi

[onlyplatonicirl]

@lightyearssurrogatedaddy i saw your tags lol. cue incoming characterization essay because i dont want to do my homework:

I've actually attributed the sunk-cost fallacy to Error's mindset on multiple occasions, and it's something I'm going to be referencing in my writing when it comes up.

The sunk-cost fallacy is the core principle in regards to Error's character and why he does the things he does in TCOTI. You have this character (error) who has spent his entire life dedicated to an impossible goal: complete annihilation. At first it didn't really seem to matter whether or not it was pheasable - it was just something he felt that needed to happen. He made it his life's goal, he became the villian of the entire multiverse to see his plan through for what he thought would right the mess and clutter of a chaotic world that shouldn't have even existed. Of course, it's a stupid plan, and he has that plan because he's literally insane. Error's spent an untold amount of time in a white void, both his mind and body warping to an unrecognizable degree. His view of the world is skewed, and he sees things different than others - while being stubborn and refusing to listen to anyone's thoughts but himself.

My story (but you can apply this to potentially any story involving Error because I personally feel like it's on par with his character) takes place at least a century in the future. Time does not matter to world-walking immortals. He is no closer to his goal than when he first started. Why would he? Error is essentially trying to stop an immutable force of nature - the deviance of timelines and branching pathways of the multiverse. (And if we're taking the canon route in regards to creators, then he's attempting to stop people from creating.) It's a completely impossible task. Universes are created at a much quicker rate than he can destroy them.

Even in a hypothetical situation where he achieves his goal and nothing but the original universe remains, it's going to branch off again eventually. His goal of "killing everything and then himself" would never last because once he's gone, there won't be anyone else left to "take out the trash" that will once again branch off and spread through the entire multiverse. Not that it's ever even gotten to that point though.

And like a said - He's crazy. These aren't really concerns of his, nor is he following sound logic or reason to his plan. But while he is crazy, he is not stupid.

How long do you think it would take him before he realizes he isn't getting anywhere? That everything he destroys just ends up replacing itself in one form or another? My story is a hypothetical century later. He may be able to stall the growth by killing off a main universe, or potentially backtracking the progress, but it's not the same as permanently making a dent in the net growth. And perhaps he's eased himself into that routine, into being content with just keeping things at an even level of creation and destruction. But it's not the goal he has centered his entire existence around- and eventually in the very subconscious of his mind, after an uncountable amount of time doing the same thing his whole life -running on a treadmill towards nowhere - does he begin to wonder why he's still doing this.

It wouldn't even register to him as a fully formed thought. It would be a nagging feeling in his gut, a general unease. It would take him years to even recognize that something is wrong, to try and think about things that go against his ideology and his reason to be, as stubborn and narcissistic as he is. But eventually it surfaces as a fully formed thought:

Why is he still doing this?

He had a reason back then, but it's going no where. It's been ages. decades. Almost nothing has changed.

But the simple fact is, he can never really answer that thought. Because he has been on this path for so long, there is nothing else left for him outside of it.

Sunk-cost fallacy.

If he stops, if he tries to seek out an alternate path, than what was EVERYTHING he worked for for YEARS and YEARS even for?? He went through so much pain, he's isolated from the rest of the multiverse as a villain, he has solidified his place in the world. If he ever stopped, it would be admitting to himself that every second of his long existence so far has been a waste. That he has done nothing with himself, and that he worked for nothing but the insane whims of a corrupted mind, towards an unachievable goal.

The world continues to move on. The multiverse continues to grow and change. And he remains, destroying, and convincing himself that he's fine with forever keeping balence.

Because what else does he have left?

And the question he doesn't even think to consider: What of the future?

[yesimwriting]

Hi! Currently on my period and horny as sin. When does reader get double stuffed by our boys? I need to know, for science and stuff

ahh bc i'm at this exact same stage in my period, i'm bumping everything else i'm working on down by one so i can talk about this 😭 we're twinning

since you said it's for science, i can give you a scientific breakdown of my thought process (bc nothing in the final girl universe is unplanned, i love them too much 😭)

okay so i've thought about this a lot for a few reasons:

I love slowburns!

i'm a little crazy when it comes to the final girl fic verse and am so actively aware of all their actions and want everything they do to feel like it fits with the way their character has developed throughout the story, so i just want the first time they hook up to feel fitting, y'know?

I think it would realistically take some time for billy and stu to come to terms with the tragic fact that they like someone else. I know hooking up doesn't have to involve feelings, but in my head, they'd be subconsciously aware of their potential feelings enough that they wouldn't want to rush into it bc of "practicality" (they can't be distracted right now, they've been planning out mass murder for a year)

Y/n is friends with Sidney and Tatum! I can't see her casually hooking up with their boyfriends (or anyone's boyfriend), even if they made the first move.

Okay, now here's where it gets a little complicated and where i am willing to take in other people's opinions, I know it's hard to apply ethicalness to this situation and it is a fictional story, but i don't want the boys doing anything too unforgivable on top of the whole murder and trauma thing (and i feel like billy would kind of be aware of this and not want to cross that line and risk losing y/n in the future until he feels a little more sure, stu could probably see the logic in this but is still willing to hook up with y/n at any place and time 😭)

i think y/n would have a lot harder time getting past/accepting everything if they hooked up before she knows the ghostface secret, soooo as of rn, any hooking up that's canonical in the final girl fic-verse is sadly a little far away in my current planning 😭

BUT! i don't think it'd be extremely out of character to have it happen sooner and i'm on the fence a little bc at the end of the day they're still teenagers that are touchy and always around each other and a little impulsive, so if anyone wants to share their opinions on when these three should finally hook up i am wiling to listen and take all thoughts/wants/perspectives into consideration!!

that doesn't mean i'll for sure move up my current plans but i'd love to know what you guys think. Also, if you just want billy, stu, and y/n smut i could write like a final girl alternate universe thing or just a smutty one-shot

but seriously! genuinely so curious if you think the tension would break sooner rather than later!

but! i will throw you this! while sex with y/n is one of the few times they exhibit any kind of restraint for the sake of another person's feelings, they are aware that it's going to happen eventually, so they are going to move to be progressively more touchy and more suggestive, kind of see how far they can go and how much influence they can have over Y/n. I think I might have to write a blurb about this.

[hms-no-fun]

one thing i'm curious about is if you're currently reading / drawing inspiration from any other contemporary HS fanworks. i know KITTYQUEST just dropped its epilogue like less than a week ago, so it's definitely a big era for Homestuck Fanworks That Have Jade Harley Have Kids lmaoooo

i may talk a big game about how you can't hope to substantively discuss what homestuck *is* without also examining its fanworks, but unfortunately i am myself woefully under-read and out of date. i kinda stopped reading homestuck fanworks after 2020 because. well. at the risk of getting into the weeds of fandom drama. all the ones i really liked stopped updating when the fandom environment turned from passively toxic to aggressively poisonous, and there was at least a 50/50 chance that the creator of any given active fanwork was either with or supported the group of people who wielded that poison.

that feeling is far less prominent now but i am still skeptical any time a new homestuck fanwork gets popular. they have to pass a litmus test first: is this person shitty or weird about the epilogues/hs2? they don't have to have liked either work necessarily, they just have to acknowledge that those works exist, have influence, and are worth talking about, even if they personally don't want to do the talking. god this all sounds so petty, but people lost jobs over what happened. i don't think i can have a positive interaction with anyone who is simply unwilling to have an in-depth conversation about the contents of a text without feeling the need to pass objective moral judgments at every turn, nor do i think i will get much out of the fanworks such a person might produce. so i save us all the trouble and don't bother!

that said, i quite like Kittyquest. i'm way behind on it though, as i am on everything. that Kitty showed up not too long after Yiffy actually inspired me to create Edie, because i love the idea of "Jade's Daughter" being this extraordinarily flexible archetype. it feels like kind of a combo-breaker considering how rigid homestuck's archetypes typically are. i also very much admire Kittyquest's commitment to fleshing out the culture and history of Earth C, especially in the ways it seems to deliberately break from what we've seen of it in post-canon. the lack of worldbuilding the epilogues is one of its biggest weaknesses in my opinion, so i always like it when a story tries to pick up that slack. the artstyle being so divorced from homestuck's yet still somehow indebted to it really encouraged me to try different things with the types of images we started putting into godfeels. what i love about post-canon broadly is just how varied it is artistically, stylistically. i think it's good and compelling and healthy that so much art in this space is willing to play with these things in such constructive ways.

the other contemporary fanwork that really has influence on godfeels is Vast Error. which i am also behind on. but Snowbound Blood is a personal favorite whose tone (at its best) matches the vibes i'm going for in 3.2. the biggest i guess Thing for me wrt Vast Error is how different its universe engine session is from what we saw in homestuck. its logic, its mechanics, its purpose-- the whole thing is so alien, and yet it has Prospit and Derse, it has Spades Slick and other such guys, it has Skaia, so there's clear continuity. if we imagine the universe engine as a procedurally generated video game, these commonalities suggest that there are stable constants in the formula. it was that alongside all the other wildly different fansessions on MSPFA that started the gears turning which would eventually lead to the EWL. the idea of an organization of castoffs from the infinite fanontinuum of alternate sessions, who study the constants and variables across countless UE instances and build squads of sailors who specialize in particular behavioral clusters. oh this session has an overpowered Jack making it unviable? send in the Jills, they'll show him what's what.

i guess if there's a thread here it's that i'm most inspired by what metatextual trends suggest about the hypothetical Ultimate Self of any given homestuck narrative convention. i'm not saying that's a good thing but i guess it has worked out okay so far.

i could shout out other fanworks that i haven't read but i think i would rather hear from y'all. what's out there right now? what's good? i should probably catch up

[lisa972kdlz]

(Translated from french, sorry if there are any syntax or vocabulary errors. I'll publish the French version shortly afterwards, enjoy your reading!)

Interuniverse portals :

Have you ever wondered how the characters in the Undertale multiverse move from one alternative universe to one other?

Depending on the stories, comics and headcanons, the possibility of access to the AU's is very relative. There is no creator of the Undertale Multiverse, so there is no canon regarding the links that can be made between universes. A number of paths have been observed; firstly, with specific and precise ways:

Through the gates of the Omega Timeline (which is fairly limited, you can't travel anywhere other than your own universe (I think, it's not very clear, so tell me if you're sure of anything)),

Through scientific machines, programmed by Gaster most of the time, as in Chancetale with the plans taken over by Ace and Alphys,

Through characters with the ability to create portals or teleport naturally, like Dream or Nightmare.

Secondly, the paths... Without any explanation. In some stories, the characters can travel from AU to AU without questioning, without rules, without precision, we just know it's possible. Secret passages, teleportations, etc., you can imagine what you want but it will never be mentioned. Frankly, I only agree when it's for One-Shot or crazy stories with no stakes, because... Trying to find logic in everything is my hobby, you'll have to get used to it ＼(☆▽☆)／

But the most interesting way comes from characters who can directly open portals/teleport, such as Ace, Color, Error or Fresh, in the context where this is considered a special power –There are plenty of others, but those are the ones I'm most familiar with–. It raises a lot of questions, especially when Ace gets this ability overnight, even though his creator seems rather thoughtful about consistency. The only solution in line would be his ability to break the fourth wall where he could jump from frame to frame... But that's not what he does, he teleports or creates a portal. But how? Why does he do this? Why all of a sudden?

I thought and thought, and then I found a correlation between these characters that might turn out to be causation.

They are all Outer-Characters. In other words, characters from outside reality, with no AU, no world to merge their codes with.

Ace's universe was destroyed by Error and no longer exists.

Color has been erased from his reality, as has Gaster, so his code has become detached.

Error has been literally expelled into the Anti-void and transformed into a glitch creature (more on that later).

Fresh is a parasite without a maternal universe, so we're not sure where he came from, but in any case, as there is no official Underfresh, we're sure he doesn't belong to any universe.

Like free electrons (free spirit) passing from one current to another, exiled between the blocks that shape universes, no longer possessing a fixed point, they benefit from a freedom of movement that the others don't have. Out of space, and for some (Core!Frisk, Gaster), even out of time.

So, they have a fairly close relationship with the Multiverse, their codes aren't 'stuck' to blocks, and that allows them to zigzag between the AU's. But how?

Simply considering that the AU's are themselves interconnected. The Undertale Multiverse is a web. Timelines that eventually break away to become AU's in their own right (Aftertale, Dusttale, Horrortale), concepts that are similar (Underswap, Storyshift), and even the most distant ones, they are all connected to each other. And it is from this point of view that I propose the theory of gaps.

There are thories in our world to the effect that cracks in reality exist and sometimes allow strange things to enter from other dimensions... Extraordinary creatures, curses... And mystical places with high concentrations of weirdness like the Bermuda Triangle would be just such places. Abracadabrious for our world, but in the world of fiction, why not? Cracks... After all, what story is perfect? What lore is flawless? What game doesn't have any bugs? These anomalies, these little mistakes that we make, would form cracks that it would be possible to open in a portal dimension. The Outer-Characters, by virtue of their nature as free electrons, would be more sensitive to these cracks and would be better able to spot and exploit them. On the other hand, not only are these rifts not found everywhere, but some of them are anomalies beyond our perception of reality, and would have their own place in space-time. This means that they could be present for a certain period of time and then disappear, or only be available in a specific place at a certain time on a certain day. We could also imagine that some universes are more 'closed' and inaccessible than others... (I personally give this to Multiverses/AU's, AU's that brings together the main characters of the Multiverse like Vampireverse, Empireverse, Minuscultale, AU Schools, etc.) That way, we can easily invent stories where the protagonists are confronted with constraints of time and space that prevent them from running away at the drop of a hat!

Script excuses offered by the house, don't thank me (☞◖■ᴥ■◗)⁠☞✨✨ !

It's a pretty big deal, and there's a lot involved... Let's see...

So, does that mean that, for example, all the inhabitants of the Omega Timeline whose AU's have been destroyed by Error would be able to open breaches as they please?

Well... Yes, technically. But you can think of hundreds of reasons why they wouldn't. Opening a breach requires training and experience, it's risky, dangerous, leads to errors of course or coordinates, or then they simply don't know they can do it. Just because you technically have the human capacity to do back somersault doesn't necessarily mean you're bound to do it.

And Geno, is he an Outer-Character? Mmmh... Good question. Technically he's stuck in the Save screen, which doesn't mean he's been kicked out of his AU. More from his Timeline, but that doesn't make him an Outer-Character either.

For Ink, it's quite interesting, there are several possibilities. His AU technically exists, it's just incomplete and forgotten all about. However, he could be an Outer-Character due to the fact that he erased himself when he tore his soul apart, or, given that he seems to open special portals instead and that he also teleports in ink, because that's part of his powers acquired from the Creator via "magic paint", after all some versions say that he can't open a portal without his paintbrush. Personally, I prefer this, because if we subscribe to the theory that he still has a soul (the goppy blue soul in the illustration of "Broken Truce"), but that it's detached from his body, that would solve the paradox.

Unless he's fully an Outer-Character because Error destroyed his AU a long time ago, that's quite possible too.

As for the characters who usually travel between AU's, like the Postman (Post!Sans) or UnderEat's Sans, or even Death sometimes, there are two hypotheses: either they've simply learned to open cracks even without being Outer-Characters (because I think it's possible, you just have to be very talented, very sensitive and very determined), or they have this ability by the very principle of their existence. The Postman and UnderEat!Sans were created TO link the AU's (I don't even know if the Postman has his own universe, actually), whereas Death... Well, it depends, because I've never been able to work out whether his "Grim Reaper influence" was just specific to his AU or whether it extended across the Multiverse. If it's specific to his AU technically he shouldn't have that privilege. But if the gods of Reapertale, whether it's him, Toriel, Papyrus, Gaster or Asgore, are looking after the whole Multiverse, then it makes sense that they should all be able to travel between AU's as they see fit.

What about the others? Well, in my opinion they're just not capable of opening breaches, and characters like Sans, Red or Blue shouldn't have this ability. Least of all those who have no knowledge of universes. Because if anyone could do it, it would still be a big, big mess. Even, scenaristically, it would be a bit annoying if everyone could go where they wanted when they wanted and get away just the same. But that's just my interpretation of things.

But it's not over yet! Let's extrapolate a little. Can we link, in Undertale's Multiverse, this story of cracks and links to something we know? Is there a dimension where all the AU's meet at the same centre? A dimension to be the Core?

Huh?

Of course yes !

I'm obviously talking about the Doodlesph– the Anti-Void.

What really is the Anti-Void? We've never had an exact definition by Crayon Queen. We know it's a mysterious white nothingness where Geno landed when a Determination experiment went wrong. It's called the Anti-Void because the color is white and not black like the Void.... But that's all. And that's not cool, because white Voids are a dime a dozen. Most of the time, they're empty AU's with nothing left, Chancetale, for example. Empty AU's, but not destroyed, because in Undertale during the Genocide route, we know that when you destroy the world there's nothing left, it's the Void. Black, cold, silent. The Void is the darkness that makes up the stars in the sky, the absolute vacuum.

We can deduce from this that these empty, white AU's are more likely to be the result of an AU that is dead of content, but still present, like X-tale or ___tale (this is contradictory with Chancetale, which is destroyed, totally destroyed, but it's normal to have a few contradictions when you're talking about a world created by hundreds of different people). What's certain is that the Anti-Void doesn't fall into this category. It's not an empty shell. It's something else. You can see it in what it does to its tenants, literally turning them into amnesiac, deranged glitches. You can see it in the window that Error opens up, leading into his old memories. You can see it when you realise that it's a way, after a while, of hearing the voice of the Creators.

The Anti-Void is the exact opposite of the Void: it's the Whole, the Link where every path crosses. After all, how many characters have accidentally ended up there? Let's not talk about the hundreds of x-reader stories where the protagonist ends up in the Anti-Void by chance after some twists and turns 😂 and let's go instead to what happened to Geno, or to Ace's machine whose first destination it was. Just look at how Error has learnt to use the rifts... Each time he goes through the Anti-Void FIRST before opening a portal from one AU to another. It's the Central Station for crossings between dimensions. I'd even go so far as to say that it's an OBLIGATORY passage. Each AU is connected to another VIA the Anti-Void. Let's just say that most people take the shortcut instinctively.

But why would the Core be the Anti-Void and not the Doodlesphere? Yet it's a dimension that seems much better suited to this role...

Well... One doesn't preclude the other.

In fact, the Doodlesphere and the Anti-Void are closely linked. I've noticed that there are often two accessible points of view in the Multiverse: the "Code Part" (the Player, the algorithms, glitches and bugs, such as Error, Fatal, Glitchtale, etc.) and the "Spiritual Part (thought, faith, emotions, the Creators, Ink, Faith, Dreamtale, etc.). What if the Anti-Void was the coded Core of the Multiverse while the Doodlesphere was the spiritual Core? The technology part and the magic part?

Because there's the computer web and the painter's canvas 🤣 !

Mhrm-... my humblest apologies :'> (does this joke work in English?)

(Hay, no, shit, it's no "toile" and "toile". Well, now you'll know that the web and the canvas are the same word in french! "Toile d'araignée" and "Toile pour peindre")

Isn't it a strange coincidence that the two greatest enemies of the Multiverse, with similar pasts, should live in two habitats that resemble and complement each other?

The web... Ironic, really, that its tenant is a skeleton who wields wires...

Error is reality's homeless man par excellence, it's in his thematic and his design; alone in the middle of the Whole, it's quite perfect to describe him and understand his character. So it's no surprise that he's probably the most capable of spotting rifts in the Multiverse. He can pretty much do it wherever he wants whenever he wants, to say the least! (Which is why I think it's breakable, the fact that Corrupted finds Error canonically useless when he's precisely THE guy who can open to him the doors to all the AU's he wants, even the positive ones) After all, Error's been trapped within the Anti-Void for an indeterminate amount of time. Canonically, after a certain time spent in thos dimension, anyone can become an "error". No wonder, if you admit that it's the agglomeration of all the codes in the Multiverse! After a while, anything coded ends up jumping left and right, stopping and starting, dispersing and dismantling!

Partially ?

Entierly ?

After a while, would Error just disappear by dint of living in the Anti-void?

Would he suffer less memory loss if he stopped going there?

Er... take your pick. ¯(°_o)/¯ I don't really like the idea of dissolving entirely in Anti-Void, but why not?

Hang on, hang on... If the rifts are spatio-temporally related, and the Anti-Void is an amalgamation of all these dimensions, and Error was able to create a window to his past in his comic, then would Error be able to travel through time???

Uh..............uuh... (＠_＠;) it's true that CQ has already mentioned the hypothesis that there could be several Error at the same time, but...uh....I...

I dunno (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Dunno...

Maybe not, or at least nobody except Error, given that if they are detached from space, they are not necessarily detached from time? Maybe he can just look at it, but not enter it? Is he even aware of it?

But then... Could he still see any future and past? Or only what concerns him?

I

Don't

Fucking know.

I didn't get that far xD

But hey, that's not a bad start, is it?

(If you have any theories, headcanons or even if you've spotted any inconsistencies in what I've said, don't hesitate to let me know. It's a headcanon, but it's not perfect, so I'd like to tweak it as much as possible :3

So long!)

[drinkinboilingcoffee]

Since we've been talking about her a bit alternate universe you are in charge of writing the fourth closet and Fourth closet baby in particular what do you???

Ok these are just the aspects of the book that bugged me personally and ones I’ve seen other people talking about, what’s different in my au/rewrite of the books is (disclaimer: this isn’t slander of anyone on the project, it’s just issues I and others have seen and would like to dissect and possibly work around):

-Charlie is still a robot because I love non-human characters, but it’s better hinted at, more logically fleshed out, and doesn’t just turn her into an object or extension of another character. -Circus Baby isn’t sexualized. I know that’s a pretty obvious one, but it doesn’t make any sense for the story and is (believe it or not) a REALLY weird thing to do to one of your youngest characters. She’s looks like her actual game appearance in animatronic form and just isn’t trying to make out with everyone and just all around acts more like she canonically should. Sorry Lizzy you deserved better. -Just… more coherent and realistic world building I guess? Closer to my version of remnant and less sci-fi (not a serious writing problem just a personal preference) -Gay. -There are a lot of parallels between John and Henry that I would either want to get rid of, change, or dissect in a way that would actually benefit Charlie’s character development.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Soo.. The new obey me game will have the same mc from the classic om (right??) and there will be time travel. So I'm trying to understand will this time travel affect the current time line..?? 🤔I mean, it should right? Logically, if the past changes, then all subsequent events must also change, right? If the Nightbringer!MC might change the brothers (since they freshly traumatized and all that) doesn't that mean they should be different in the future? Remember the butterfly effect? 🤔 or all of it will be ignored..? I'm confused..

Same MC

I actually answered a similar ask to this here (it speaks about og! OM! & its history with time travel, how Nightbringer might address it and how it'll affect the current timeline)

Basically;

Obviously I can't confirm or deny anything for sure but I highly doubt they'll rewrite 4 seasons & multiple devilgrams of current content, specially when that particular story is also still ongoing

Also alternate universes canonically exist in OM! and one of the causes for the existence of an alternate universe is changes in the timeline so there's always the possibility that there'll be two current timelines

As someone who spent years in the DC/Batman fandom where there are so many alternate universes and timelines existing at the same time, here's my advice: absolutely do not take it too seriously. Don't overcomplicate it, just take it for what it is and have fun - chances are the writers aren't really thinking much about the how either and just want to explore a "what if" situation

[minquiec]

My 5k word essay on why I like bringing pain and suffering to the two idiots I love dearly (A thesis)

[alternative title being: me ranting abt jipunk for 2 hours straight im kiddingg]

So like

At this point I'm pretty sure most people can tell I enjoy pulling angst out of nowhere for absolutely NO reason necessary other than pain heeheehaahaa well it ain't gonna stop 😁 CAUSE TRUST THAT I will make sure every au I ever make of these two end in numbingly tragic angst one way or the other 🦅 jkjk they won't all be that bad it'll just have varying degrees of sadness

Anyways

I actually do have a reason for never giving them a happy (canonical or implied) happy ending ☝️ the thing abt me is every detail or like choice I make in character design/relationship/etc is that it's always intentional (most of the time) like there's always some kind of corny reason behind it bc I'm jwndkwjd insane and just think too hard abt two characters that don't even exist.

So like so like

I am an absolute loser for tropes like 'in another life' or 'in every life' or just anything among those lines. Like genuinely it does smth irreparable to my brain it's not even funny.

And basically the thought process for jipunk was like they're LITERALLY from different universes which quite literally means they can't end up together bc it's just not possible. But tbh the whole multiverse logic and how it works is up to interpretation cause y'know it's just a movie but personally I see it as smth pretty impossible for lore sake and stuff HAHSHA

So because the 'original' jipunk (atsv versions) can't end up together, I decided to go and think

"HMM."

"WHAT IF THEY ARE THE EPITOME OF 'ill find you in every universe" BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM END IN THE SAME WAY (never ending up tgt)"

Cause for the different au's each of them is technically a different reincarnate in different worlds with different lives.

And like going back to when I said varying levels of sadness: what I meant was in some aus they'll be literally universes apart (which in itself is already sad asf) but in other aus they could live in the same world but their lives are like perpendicular lines because they'll meet and then never cross paths again (BECAUSE this is what their fate is supposed to be if we base it off their atsv counter parts: they were never meant to be bc they're from different universes)

BUT DONT KILL ME YET BC

technically

teccchnicaalllllyyy

In the long run they do have a happy ending

(longass run bru)

So there isn't a proper timeline for which universes 'happen first' bc that just doesn't make sense but

The modern au where it has the convenience store

Is their happy ending

Endgame au fr

Cause if you think abt it right (this is a headcanon), hb isn't the type of person to fall in love based on looks.

Yet in the modern au he ends up crushing on a silly little employee of the convenience store he goes to.

And like it's just this pull he can't understand for the life of him??? Cause it feels so shallow to him to like someone bc he thinks their pretty

Little does he know

So after they get tgt in the modern au, I'm thinking of this one moment where he kind of figures it out/sort of/not really but he is just like

"idk what it is but it feels like I've spent lifetimes with you"

BECAUSE YOU HAAAAAAVE@)$()2(# AAAAAAUEGEGHHEGEG JM SOBBING

HE SAYS IT BC HE REALIZES HIS SOUL IS JUST SO COMFORTABLE WITH HER PRESENCE ALMOST LIKE ITS GOTTEN USED TO IT SINCE A LONG LONG TIME AGO

And I realized just now but omfg the comic I made where he drunk confess and goes 'I liked you first'

HES LITERALLY BEEN LIKING HER FIRST IN THEIR FIRST LIFE (ATSV) IM GOING TO FUCKIGNNEF THROIWN UP

Soulmates idc idc IDCCCC

Took the quote I love you in every lifetime and RAAAAANNNN WITH IT

I enjoy tragic love stories tm

This isn't delusion anymore this is derangement

They r so dear to me

They are my kdramas, they are my bridgerton, they are my therapy this is how I cope.

[dcbbw]

Taking the L

I am participating in #KingLiamAppreciationWeek (#KLAW), hosted by the ever-lovely @lizzybeth1986​ and @sazanes​. This is my offering for Day 1: Throwback/Character Appreciation. I will be providing at least one more story for the event; if I do it correctly, the fic will cover the additional themes/days.

So, this is basically me giving my opinion and head canons about Liam while linking throwback fics into the dialogue; while I have all the love and appreciation in the world for my first, true LI, it may be best to have some of my Rileys express what they treasure and cherish most about the Liam they are paired with. After all, they are the ones with the man day in and day out.

Thank you to all who will read this brain dump; I can only hope it makes sense and comes across in a coherent manner. Everything is below the cut.

PB birthed Liam Rys, but us content creators raise him.

Song Inspiration: Fanfiction on the Internet, Jake Timothy

Word Count: 1,207

Why Liam?

My reason is incredibly simple (and it isn’t because it’s The Royal Romance) … I have dated enough Drake Walkers and Maxwell Beaumonts in real life; no way am I doing it in an alternate universe and spending real dollars to do so.

I dealt with enough games and guards/walls and insecurities and mothering of men; I have done more than my share of putting forth efforts and ego-stroking and reminders and pushing and prodding. I have begged men to love me and proved (to no avail) that my love is worthy of acceptance.

Playing the game with Liam as my LI is my form of escape from reality … the refreshing openness, honesty, and emotional availability Liam Rys provides gives me hope, and will always be my why.

Which Liam?

My preferred Liam is Asian Liam (Asiam). When I first joined the fandom almost 5 years ago, Caucasian Liam (Whiam) was the King of choice for the majority of the fandom, and I remember being nommed for a Clown Award for fetishy writing because I wrote a tall, black MC with Asiam. (I received 7% of the vote)

Asiam is my default Liam, and not just because I see him (looks-wise) as a cross between Gong Yoo and Alex Landi; in my head canon, Asiam is patient (more than most), more sensuous than sexual, logical, an overthinker, and has a humility that is rare for someone born into and raised in an environment of the highest privilege.

He is the driving force behind Riam, Sock Game Liam in the DC AU, UnRomance, and the majority of my TRR-themed one-shots and limited series including The Platinum AU, Driam, and Laxwell.

My love for Asian Liam does not stop me from using the other versions of Liam.

I know I’m in the minority here with my thought process, but I see each version of Liam as a separate person with a distinct je ne sais quoi who just happens to share core characteristics and personality traits with the other two.

I think it would be especially true for Asiam (whom PB did not even classify as an ethnicity, and let's not get into the whitewashing of his mother, Eleanor), and Black Liam (Bliam). While all versions of Liam have a mother who is both a commoner and foreigner, two of them have a parent of color, which (again, to me) has to influence how they are perceived by the international audience they are constantly paraded in front of.

White Liam (Whiam) to me, is trusting, definitely carnal, and has a boldness ...a recklessness if you will; yet he is hesitant to fully embrace his role as King. This Liam takes the lead in stories such as The Commoner’s Wife, Streets of New York, One Night Stand, and he is the Liam of choice in the upcoming stories, Sins of the Father, Best Friend, and Body Count.

I have plans for Bliam; he is the star in a few upcoming fics: Looking, Heartland, Life in a Southern Town (the Election AU), and Eight Minutes. For me, Bliam exudes a confidence the other Liams do not, which is at odds with my head canon that this particular Liam is more guarded than Drake and more of a loner.

Currently all three Liams can be found in my Remix series (only two chapters in, but more is coming!) where Asiam is a complete thot. (He can be an anomaly at times)

Head Canons (strictly my envisionings, opinions, and thought processes that formulate my version of Cordonia’s favorite King)

·         His name is Liam, not William; his mama named him Liam and that’s good enough for me. And coming from a family where me and my siblings all have names that begin with an R, I like the Leo, Liam, Lena thing; bonus that the first syllable for each is pronounced “Lee”

·         He has BDE, and the BD to back it up

·         He is not submissive in the bedroom. Being King is a 24/7 job, and I do not see him just shedding that type of power the second nakedness enters the picture

·         I also do not see him as dominant in the bedroom; for his partner’s pleasure, he can be assertive (not to be confused with aggressive). The man is still kinky though

·         However, he has no problem with a transference of power between he and his partner between the sheets (within reason)

·         Liam grew up in an environment where unilateral decisions that affect the entire country are made in a millisecond; hence the Coronation night fiasco. If keeping you a secret from Cordonia means you’re safe … it’s worth the fallout

·         Madeleine was his only choice that night because another suitor’s acceptance would immediately become a political arrangement, with their families/houses effectively trapping Liam in a marriage neither party wants

·         It doesn’t happen often, but he and MC argue. Loudly

·         He’s a social smoker, especially when networking or brokering a deal/arrangement/alliance

·         If he’s pouring a scotch, he’s stressed

·         MC is his first true/real relationship

·         He is not perfect

·         He makes mistakes

·         Two of my Liams can cook; the rest are at the mercies of the kitchens and Riley

·         He doesn’t flaunt his wealth

·         He is deeply spiritual (believes in a higher power and prayer), but doesn’t begin attending church until he and MC have created a family

What is the one thing Riley appreciates most about (her) Liam?

Riam Riley: I’ll have to get back to you on that.

Riley B.: I would have to say his thoughtfulness. When he borrows my car, he returns it with a full tank of gas. When he comes to my place, he brings in my mail and packages. He’ll Venmo me money when it’s a couple of days before payday. He looks out for me.

Mermaids Riley: His vulnerability. It’s hard to open to someone you hated for absolutely no reason, then find out you’re going to marry them, and now you have to get to know said person and let them get to know you as well. The more we talk and spend time together, the more I learn and not just the surface stuff. That takes more than courage, and I admire it.

Platinum AU Riley/Raleigh: I haven’t seen him in 10 years, but I remember his intelligence. He was more than educated or smart; Liam had a hunger for knowledge, and constantly fed it. He was open-minded as well, so prone to listen to opposing perspectives and broadening his mindset.

Discontent Riley: What I appreciate most about Liam? His selflessness. We’ve had … we’re having our share of problems, but he is always there for me despite public opinion, and at great risk to his reign. I can only imagine the toll our losses and my drinking have taken on his health on all levels, but he only cares for mine. I don’t deserve him.

UnRomance Riley: I appreciate the way he takes care of me. It may not always be the way I would want or even like, but he knows what I need without me saying a word.

Riam Riley: Oh, dear Lord! It’s my turn again? Okay, okay … I got one. It’s his even-temperedness. He’s the calm to my storm, he listens to me go on and on and on, especially when I’m hormonal which is all the time. Liam is steady. He makes things make sense. Not saying he doesn’t get frustrated, fed up, and angry … he does. But he’s never volatile, and it never lasts long. He truly forgives and forgets.

And there you have it, dear reader … a few things I think makes my Liam(s) tick and sets him apart (if only slightly) from the others. Your mileage may vary.

Tagging: @jared2612 @ao719 @marietrinmimi @queenjilian @indiacater @kingliam2019 @bebepac @liamxs-world @mom2000aggie @liamrhysstalker2020 @neotericthemis @twinkleallnight @umccall71 @superharriet @busywoman @gabesmommie1130 @tessa-liam @beezm @gardeningourmet @lovingchoices14 @mainstreetreader @angelasscribbles @lady-calypso @emkay512 @princessleac1 @charlotteg234 @queenrileyrose @alj4890 @yourfavaquarius111 @motorcitymademadame @queenmiarys @kingliamappreciationweek @lizzybeth1986 @sazanes​

[madaboutmunson]

Look through these blackened eyes You'll see ten thousand lies

I Think I Could Have Been Someone - Chapter 9

Ao3 Link

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Link to fic overview and all parts

Chapter Summary: Pumping with the adrenaline from their fight and with his permission, Eddie attempts to exact his revenge on Steve between the sheets. But is retribution all that is at play here?

Author Notes: This is a mature story, definitely 18+ only.

This is my first ever published smut chapter. I am sweating with nerves as I type this lol.

I have a few bang event projects to finish up, so this story will have to take a short break. Though the next few 5 chapters are already written then need to be edited, which takes me a lot of time. Sorry :(

Tags/Warnings: rockstar!AU; band; touring; music industry; alternate universe; drug usage; alcohol abuse; performing; enemies to lovers; road trip; stobin; platonic stobin; platonic with a capital P; canon typical violence; angst; masochism; fist fight; smut

Word Count: 10.5K

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I Think I Could Have Been Someone - Part 9 - Eddie POV

Even in his wildest dreams, Eddie couldn’t have possibly imagined this because nothing about this moment in time makes any sense to him at all.

Hasn’t he loathed this man for years now? Didn’t this guy ruin his life? Hadn’t this guy just seconds ago tried to beat him down verbally and physically? Eddie realises it’s a resounding yes to everything, yet he feels a pulsing energy around them—something teetering on a cliff edge.

He didn’t know why he’d answered that way. It just fell out of his mouth, Only everything.

And he did want that. He wanted to steal everything from Harrington, just like he’d stolen everything from him, but he knew that wasn’t just revenge talking. Although that feeling is still very present, another looming entity is in the room. Lust. He could feel its selfish, irresponsible form like some gelatinous ooze was creeping all over him. Seeping into every recess of his brain, turning off logic centres as it passes, only leaving primal things in its wake. The only reason he lets it continue its pilgrimage into his very being is because it’s evident he isn’t alone in this.

Harrington’s lips are still at the shell of his ear. The last thing he’d heard from them was a whimper at his reply as his entire body weight rested on top of him. Eddie is in semi-thoughtful, mostly impulsive deliberations with the ornate ceiling above them. Then there is the delicate brush of stubble as Harrington pushes his head further over his shoulder until his lips press against his ear, “Then take it.” He whispers like silk, and Eddie is not god’s strongest soldier, or anyone's for that matter. His eyes roll back as the words and all their potential implications ignite every neuron in his body. Surging to the tip of his tongue for the next thing to say. Rocketing to his fingertips for the next thing to touch. His heart thumps powerfully in its skeletal hideaway, but not for love, for an imminent frenzy. For the thrill of finally getting something over the man who’s haunted his every waking day, every nightmare-filled night, and the poor wretch is offering it up to him on a silver platter. Take it.

Eddie never considered himself an angel, but he had principles and morals that kept him on the right side of judgement from himself and maybe others, but this might be a temptation too far. Harrington was correct. He had been a fan in the early days, at least. Perhaps even up until everything fell apart. Recalling his world imploding, he feels his grip on Harrington tighten again like he wants to squeeze the breath right out of him, but he resists when he hears that gentle groan in his ear.

He feels like he could both give in to something basal and still satisfy the need to get one over on Harrington if he follows the path his hormones are gouging out for him. He feels his accomplice's hands shakily run up his sides. The breath at his ear is now against his cheek as Harrington turns to face him, head still heavy on his shoulder. Maybe he was exhausted? Perhaps he’d already given up?

Eddie has to decide. Morally, this was bad. Professionally potentially the worst decision ever, but personally, maybe the sweetest fucking revenge. The holy grail of blackmail, or perhaps no one would even believe him if he told them. No one would think that Harrington, who walks the red carpet with his doting wife, or Harrington, who gets papped with his tongue hanging out for some harem of female groupies to hang off by sucking on it, would forgo them all to fool around with an average joe, like him. A nobody. A nobody who was, at one time, on the cusp of being a somebody. 

And maybe that’s what seals the deal for him. He violently pushes Harrington off him, hoping to press against one of the many bruises currently developing, and he must because he hisses as he meets the carpet with a thud. 

Eddie gets to his knees, and before Harrington can let any more spiteful words leave his wretched mouth, he grabs a fistful of hair and yanks him up until they are face to face. But Harrington isn’t struggling; he lets himself hang limp in Eddie’s grip. The previous violence has begun plumping parts of his face, the red marks deepening as burst blood vessels spill under his skin. His mouth hangs open slightly, “Take it,” he mumbles a reminder through swollen split lips.

Eddie’s other hand rapidly finds its way into Harrington’s obnoxious, luxurious hair and closes the gap between them with a clash of teeth. Their lips meet brutally. He can feel the hair strands fall between his fingers as his grip tightens, pulling it out from the roots. There is no polite request for entry when Eddie’s tongue forces its way into his mouth, but he’s not met with any resistance, only moans of pleasure. 

Initially, Harrington is a malleable thing in his hands, bending to his will, letting Eddie cruelly bite and drag his teeth over the wounds on his lips before kissing his hisses and whimpering back into his mouth, like he doesn’t want to hear them. And he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to hear or see anything that might induce him to be merciful. Soon enough, Harrington springs to life, grabbing fistfuls of a T-shirt at Eddie's waist, twisting it around his fingers until Eddie feels it pull tight across his back. With a grunt pushed into his mouth, he finds himself yanked flush with Harrington. The heat and pressure from another makes the skin in all the places their bodies meet feel like embers of something long forgotten, but as they move together, the sparks find their fuel and ignite a searing wildfire across the surface of his skin. He can feel his heart pounding. He can hear it in his ears like a bass line to the wanton melody of noises between them.

He feels a shift again. Harrington’s knees bracket one of his own, forcing them closer together. Another sigh spills from out Harrington, and Eddie consumes it hungrily. Like he’s trying to capture everything. He would let the night have nothing. This was all his. Every sigh, moan, whimper and groan. He would gorge himself on everything he was pulling out of Harrington until he was sick from overindulgence or until Harrington had no more to give.

Then, just like he’s acclimatising, nothing further happens between them below the belt line, but Harrington’s hands find their way up and under Eddie's shirt. Calloused fingertips but soft palms glide over his back, urging him closer, even though it is physically impossible, but the gentleness is distracting and has no place here. Eddie drags his teeth over Steve’s tongue as he pulls away, only to have his mouth adorably chased by the man opposite him, who looked starved for it, even though they’ve been clamped together for who knows how long. Eddie ignores it, licks along Harrington’s jawline, and bites down on the hinge of it with his teeth, a helpful reminder of what is happening here.

He gets the message.

Harrington’s hands raise to his shoulder blades, rough fingertips press into his skin there, and then excruciatingly slowly, he drags his blunt fingernails down Eddie’s back. A gasp fights out and into his ear, causing a reactionary hip buck into his thigh from Harrington, whose fingers soothe their way back up the fresh scratches.

Harrington, for the first time, leans back, his spit-wet mouth slightly parted as he observes Eddie through barely open hooded eyes before raking his nails down him again, faster this time, making Eddie’s back arch towards him with a yelp from the stinging pain melting into a sigh caused by a wave of endorphins rearing up and crashing down on him. Involuntarily, he closes his eyes, maybe to savour the sensation of the burning strands of heat trailing over his back, perhaps to not look at Harrington. He isn’t sure, but he soon finds himself pulled into a more comfortable measured distance of zero. But no lips meet his. A hand grasps his jaw tightly and tips his head backwards. He feels a breath at the base of his throat, the moisture evaporating so quickly from him there is a coolness for a second before Harrington’s tongue drags up the column of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. “Wait here,” he’s instructed as Harrington leaves, and he finally dares open his eyes, tries to catch his breath, palms at the bulge in his jeans for a second of relief, and relaxes back on his heels.

He watches Harrington busy himself with a door handle sign, and he opens the door a crack. Immediately, Buckley’s face appears in it.

“Jesus Christ, Steve!” She exclaims quietly, but he’s already trying to close the door again after hanging a do not disturb sign.

“Relax. We’re not fighting anymore.” He says and slams the door.

“Then what are you doing in there?” She yells angrily through the door.

Steve yanks the door open again, “I dunno, fucking hopefully,” she’s about to say something else when he slams the door shut and locks it again.

That makes Eddie spring to his feet, and his brain feeds him a million reasons why he really should leave, but the problem being he still has a reason to stay, and he’s still horny as hell.

Harrington slinks his way back and leisurely looks Eddie over, “What happened?” He smirks, “Didn’t wanna be on your knees when I got back?” Harrington reaches over and takes his arm, runs his hands over it, inspects it, leads him to the couch, and sits them both down. He waits for a second before crawling towards Eddie. He looked more creature than man. Almost under a spell, Eddie feels himself doing one thing but saying another. He reclines back on the seat, coaxing Harrington into his lap, saying, “This is a terrible idea, Harrington.”

“Oh, the absolute worst, for sure,” Harrington smiles slyly as he straddles Eddie’s thighs, “And I think it would be even worse for me to hear you call me by my name and not my brand.”

Eddie’s chest heaves as he is manhandled to make him a more comfortable seat, “Yeah, that would be a really dumb thing to do, wouldn’t it, Steve?” And he watches as Steve’s eyes shoot to his and shift from something amused to something all the more sultry. He tilts his head a little like he didn’t hear correctly, eyes firmly fixed on Eddie, who thinks he knows what he’s being asked to do, “Did you hear what I said,” Eddie lets his eyes fall to his lap and drags them unhurriedly back to meet the blooming dilated pupils of the man seated on him, “Steve?”

Like his own name is the shot of a starting pistol, Steve launches himself at Eddie again, with force enough to rock the furniture.

Within seconds, things start to feel almost competitive. Every kiss was returned with a more forceful one, every grip on the other's body was returned with a harder, more cruel squeeze, and every needy grind down was met with a hard thrust upwards.

The one-upmanship leaves Eddie intoxicated. He’s trying to think but can’t. He’s overwhelmed by sensation. His primitive brain just hungers for more. To take everything until all that is left is a carcass of the man huffing and panting in his lap. For a second, he doesn’t think he has ever seen anything more gloriously desperate as Steve. He wants Eddie with abandon of everything else. His persona seemed shed. He seemed real. Human. Not a nemesis. Not a celebrity. Not an object to covet. Just a guy. A hot as sin, ravenous, wild, hazardously beautiful man. 

Something threatens to bloom inside Eddie’s chest, and a fresh urgency springs to life, like a survival instinct almost. He reaches for Steve’s shirt and begins unfastening it. His fingers feel their way clumsily over the buttons as the rest of his body is otherwise occupied. He finds his hands grasped and pushed down to rest on Steve’s thighs as he leans back for a moment to pull the shirt over his head, and he finds his hands placed back on his torso, and that feeling of much softer than expected skin under his fingertips is tantalising but as he caresses over his body, it’s when his fingers meet the stubble at his chest or the trail down his abdomen that really sends Eddie into a spin. It overheats him. He feels like his own clothes are suffocating him. That they are needlessly in the way. He craves to feel this against his own skin and reaches behind his head, leaning forward to shed himself of some of it, but a hand on his chest pauses him.

Eddie looks up to find Steve toying with one of the many long chains draped around his neck, but instead of asking any questions, his eyes force him on a mini visual expedition of what his hands had been trailing over. A short, stunted breath leaves his mouth. This was crazy. He’s seen this body a million times in magazines, adverts, album covers, billboards, through his own camera lens and eyes, yet it feels like he’s never seen anything like it before. Littered with tattoos, a visibly heaving chest, ribs that appear and disappear as he breathes, muscles that flex and pulse as he writhes his body, but eventually, he hears him.

“Does it hold any sentimental value?” Steve rasps, his eyes trailing over and grasping onto his T-shirt. 

“No,” he replies with a pointless, unseen shake of his head. Steve immediately yanks a necklace from his neck with a grunt of effort, and he slides that under Eddie’s shirt. The chain still attached slides along his skin. Some links are still heated from Steve in parts. Others were cool enough to almost make him want to jerk away from them.

The safety-conscious part of Eddie is urging him to look at what might be happening under his shirt, but the hedonist who has clawed his way from the depths to the surface only wants to feast on what it wants to store for future reference. 

It’s innocent enough to start with, taking in how engaged he is with his task at hand, how his eyes that, naturally slope into a sadness, are wide and alive with anticipation. The way his bruised lips are pressed together in concentration and occasionally bite back into his mouth. Then his eyes trail further down to the sizeable bulge in his jeans, how it’s pressed against his own. He can’t stop his hands from sliding up to his hips, running his fingertips over the bone he hopes to be more intimately acquainted with as soon as possible. He settles on gripping them tightly, rocking his hips upward impatiently. A series of tuts raises his eyes to Steve’s face again, noticing a small smile growing, “Patience, baby. Patience.” He barely mutters out, his eyes still focused on the job at hand until his hand stills high up on his chest, the pendant still gripped in his fingers, “Hold still.” He says with an audible metallic click. Eddie dares to look down but can’t quite see what’s happening until Steve raises his other hand, splays his fingers in a V-shape, pushes down on the material, and the small blade pushes through.

Panic sets in, and a new adrenaline wave surges through him. He should leave immediately. This was fucked up. The fact he had a knife on him this whole time was terrifying, regardless of how little damage it looked like it could do. As he takes a panicked gasp of breath, he looks up at Steve, who is almost chewing on his bottom lip, his heavy-lidded eyes focused on the metal, and he makes a sound of appreciation before rearranging his hands so that he can hold the material taught and pull the blade down. It slices through easily, the fabric falling open, exposing him as it glides down. Eddie’s still breathing hard, but his heart isn’t thumping so much with fear anymore as the knife cuts through the hem, and Steve retracts the blade and tosses it somewhere into the room. His fingers grip the top of the slit, roughly yanking it apart to rip open the collar with a grunt.

Eddie stays entirely still and simply observes Steve. He wishes he had his camera to hand, as it’s quite a sight to behold. He can’t remember the last time someone looked at him like this, not just lustfully, but like he was the most spectacular thing they’d ever seen. Steve’s large hands smooth over his skin and delicately push back the material. A yearnful noise emits from Steve like he can’t have what’s laid out in front of him as he presses into his skin, exploring it with his fingertips, his eyes trailing after them.

So Eddie reminds him that he can. He surges forward, capturing Steve in his arms, pulling him in tightly, pressing them together, and capturing his mouth with his own. It’s a mess of lips, groans and saliva topped with wandering mouths, causing careless, hurried nips of cuts and bruises. But the apologies are wordless. A hiss of too much from one is answered with a pleasurable pinch or caress elsewhere by the other.

Suddenly, Steve’s thighs clench hard around Eddie, and it doesn’t need explaining, but an excited smile sweeps across his face mid-kiss. He grips the back of his thighs and moves them up to wrap around his waist. Denim drags against denim, and he finds his arousal pressed up against something a lot plusher, and at the same time, Steve’s is now pressed into his abdomen, and he resolves these clothes have got to go now. He shuffles to the edge of the sofa, one arm holding their bodies together, the other draped under Steve’s legs, holding him up, simultaneously copping a feel of his ass.

And this must be where their experiences differ because Steve pulls back and looks unsure. Eddie smiles, “Better hold on to something, sweetheart.” He realises his mistake as soon as the pet name leaves his mouth, but he’s not gonna apologise awkwardly over words right now. He pushes himself up to standing, and Steve’s arms urgently wrap around his neck. Eddie checks in on him. Just a glance, he tells himself. Expects to see an almost comical face of panic, and he does for a second until he hears the thick swallow from Steve’s throat and watches his eyelashes bat slowly in a dazed blink at him.

Typically, Eddie knows he would have settled for the couch, but like he said, he wanted everything, and one of the things he wanted most right now was to see Steve an absolute mess under him.

He pushes adjoining doors open until he finds a bed. He stops at the edge of it, peels Steve’s arms from around his neck and unceremoniously lets him go so he lands on it with an oof and a bounce. Then Eddie’s hands quickly find his own belt buckle to finally get out of the remainder of his clothes. Steve doesn’t interrupt him. He just looks him up and down as he rests back on his elbows, his legs dangling off the edge of the bed, wetting his lips in anticipation.

He lets his jeans drop to the floor and kicks off his sneakers. As he bends down to remove his socks, he looks up and finds himself level with Steve’s knee, and his eyes trail up to his crotch, but from this angle, it’s easy enough for Steve’s eyes to capture him again and as he does Steve spreads his knees apart a little more and bites his lip temptingly.

That’s when Eddie acts out of sorts. Usually, he’d just let the other guy give him a show, but he reaches for Steve’s boot, unzips it and removes it for him, and the sock and the other set in turn. Like he’s saving him then trouble. Then clasps onto Steve’s calves, kneading into them through the denim as he works his way up over his knees until his hands glide over his upper leg. Steve’s mouth drops open a little with hope as he glances between Eddie and himself, but Eddie's nimble hands skirt around the place Steve wants him most to undo the fly of his jeans, but once he removes the belt and buckle from the equation he doesn’t find one. He sees where a zipper should be, something akin to the back of a laced corset. Metal eyelets with a black cord running crisscross through them. He tugs at one end, and the ties fall apart easily. His fingertips wander into the waistband of them. He anticipates feeling the fabric of some designer brand briefs, but he finds none. Only the softness of skin. Of course, he’s not wearing any underwear. Eddie almost laughs as he stands to get a better grip on removing his pants, but he’s interrupted.

Steve, obviously not happy about anything slowing down, has sat up, pushed Eddie’s hands out of the way and is currently mouthing at him through his underwear, and Eddie wants it not to feel this good, but it absolutely fucking does. He looks down to meet the hungry, longing eyes already looking up at him, planting eager kisses and licks over the material that is gradually getting soaked through. Steve’s chipped, black, polished fingertips crawl into the band of the Kirkland signature briefs. Eddie wonders for a second how much more expensive the nail polish is compared to them before nodding and Steve pulling down his underwear so he can finally spring free of its oppression. 

Steve stops. He stares and goes a little cross-eyed before looking back up at Eddie and running his tongue over his bottom lip. This is different from how he wanted this to go exactly, but who is he to say no. Nobody says no to Steve Harrington, right?

He watches himself taken in ringed hand, fingertips running down his length are soon accompanied by the flat wet expanse of Steve’s tongue dragging up it until it’s rolling around the throbbing head of his cock, and as his lips finally wrap around him, he looks right back up at him again, Eddie has to look away. He puts his hands in his hair, lolling his head back and groans with delight. Not solely because of the fact he’s getting his dick sucked, not just because it’s someone famous, but because it felt like, finally, the tables had turned. Finally, he’s in charge.

Steve’s hands urge him closer, but Eddie plants his feet and steps back even. He looks back down to watch himself pump in and out of that pretty pink pout. and it’s so good, but he needs more. He cards his fingers through Steve’s hair, which gets his attention. Their eyes meet again, and this time, Eddie makes himself gaze back. His hand falls to the side of his face as his head bobs rhythmically. His thumb brushes over his cheek, his fingers cradle his wide-open jaw, and it feels like Steve leans into his palm. Eddie shakes his head quickly, moves his hand back into Steve’s hair, and holds onto it. And it brings the current events to a slower pace. 

Steve opens his mouth wide, extends his tongue out, and laps at the underside of the head of his shaft in a sort of come hither motion with the tip of his tongue, but Eddie does something else. He grips more tightly onto his hair and drags Steve towards him and off the bed until he’s on his knees. Steve doesn’t complain. Smiles even, with his tongue still hanging out, desperate for its next taste.

With a firm grip, he tilts Steve’s head back a little so he can see his face as he tugs hard on his hair, pulling him towards him forcefully until he gags and pulls him back off again. Looks down at him and raises an eyebrow in question as Steve catches his breath. He smiles up at him and drops his mouth open again, letting his tongue hang to his chin. Eddie slowly drags him by his hair up and down, repeatedly, occasionally forcing Steve’s nose to be pressed hard into his thatch of curls and held there, choking, his throat squeezing around Eddie as he does before he’s forced off of it again. He lets Eddie wield him like a plaything. And soon, that’s not enough either. Eddie finds himself gripping the sides of Steve’s hair, observes the grey tear stains rolling down his face, the drool pooling at the corners of his mouth, and by the gods, Eddie wishes he had his camera right now. And he thinks about it, about pounding himself into Steve’s face until oblivion, until he’s spent, leaving Steve hard and unsatisfied, but he finds his hand trailing over his face again. Whatever he was trying to prove, he felt like he’d just done that. Now, he wants something else. He wants to hear Steve fall apart.

He cups Steve’s jaw gently, encourages him to stand, and once up, he wipes at his face a little. He wants to ask him if he’s ok, but he knows he shouldn’t. He smooths his hands down his back until Steve takes matters into his own hands. He swiftly turns them around, deeply kissing Eddie as he does so, walking him back towards the bed. He feels the back of it hit his knees and sits down as Steve finally frees himself of his pants but doesn’t give Eddie much of a show about it all. Before Eddie has even had a chance to perceive how perfect his dick might be, Steve has clambered onto the bed too. He crawls up Eddie until their mouths slot together again, as one of Steve’s hands presses against his chest, encouraging him further back until he hits the headboard.

He finds himself caged between Steve’s arms, pressed against one another without a safety barrier of fabric. Desperate kisses move south to become more languid and wet at his throat, which chills him when Steve intermittently huffs out a breath over the sites of desire as his hips roll down into his own, causing delicious friction between them.

Steve moves lower but scoops his arm behind Eddie’s back, arching his chest upwards to dip his head and trail his tongue, which he wields like a demon, over it. He mouths over his stiffened nipples as he finds them, kitten licks them, chances a drag of teeth over them, as his lower position has him slowly thrusting against Eddie’s thigh. With each roll of hips, Eddie watches him slowly coming undone. Controlled deliberate kisses turn into him sucking down on Eddie’s skin, placing fresh areas of burst blood vessels next to the less recent ones. Ones from pleasure next to ones from pain. Calculated nips at his torso become full bites that linger to quieten his moans as they seep under Eddie’s skin.

Whilst it’s thrilling to watch Steve fall from grace as he uses Eddie as a means to get there, and it feels fucking fantastic, he wants it to be him that does it. He wants it to be him that pushes Steve over the edge. Up until the fight earlier, he’d been entirely sure that this guy was as straight as they come, but from what Eddie had witnessed so far, that was absolutely not a possibility. He’s done this before. Maybe countless times. Maybe with other guys like Eddie? Maybe with guys more like himself who both have to keep it quiet? Something hideous squirms inside him unpleasantly at the thought.

He captures Steve’s chin on the knuckle of his index finger, lifts his head, and receives a dopey smile. Eddie hasn’t seen him take anything, yet he looks pretty out of it, “You ok?” He asks, even though he knows he shouldn’t, but he doesn’t want to be doing any of this with someone out of their gourd.

“Mmmhmmm,” he nods on the crook of Eddie’s finger and smiles lazily. 

“Did you take something?” he asks plainly, scanning him for clues.

Steve shakes his head and crawls forward so their noses brush against one another, “The only thing I want right now is you,” his voice trembles as he leans in for another kiss. Eddie's stomach flips, which he can’t help feeling is very inappropriate. 

That isn’t what this is, he reminds himself. 

He pushes him back to break the kiss and runs his fingers over Steve’s lips, cuts and bruising included, before hooking two of his fingertips inside his bottom lip and gently pushing them further into Steve’s mouth. Eddie almost shudders at how obediently he opens his mouth wider with a nudge of his hand. He doesn’t even have to ask. He adds fingers, letting Steve suck down on them until he feels it’s enough.

He lowers his saliva-soaked hand between them and reaches for Steve first. Rolls his palm over the head before sliding his fingers easily down the shaft until he has him in his grip. At first, his strokes are slow and soft, not for Steve but for himself. He watches Steve’s eyes close, his breathing deepens and shudders, still on all fours hovering over Eddie, his fists clenched against the bedding, as his head drops forward against Eddie’s shoulder. He quickens his pace and tightens his grip until Steve is just a series of cut-off guttural noises in his ear. Then he lets go, takes himself in hand, and lazily moves his hand up and down. Their proximity means that the back of his fingers occasionally bump against Steve’s shaft. Maybe sometimes he stretches his fingers out so the contact is for longer, just so he can hear those whimpers in his ear again that are swirling around his head, disorienting him from his goal. He hadn’t realised how much faster he’d gotten, like Steve’s delicate whispered exhales reverberating through him were speeding him up. Soon enough, he finds his own moans intertwining with Steve’s.

“Fuck, you sound good.” Steve manages, and his first instinct is to quicken his pace further, let Steve’s voice ring in his ears as he succumbs to pleasure himself, but somehow he resists. Turning his attention and hand back to Steve, and the gasp in his ear, he’s sure he’ll be able to recall until the day he dies because his name is whispered out immediately after. 

He must have heard Steve’s voice in his ear hundreds of times before, listening to his music and interviews before everything went wrong. He remembers how thrilling it had been to hear his whispers on record or the bits a live recording would catch before and after a song, and now Eddie was collecting his own, all just for himself, never to be released or shared with anyone else. 

From the corner of his eye, he notices Steve’s arm shaking, the one Eddie had to beat his way free from. He sits up a little, taking the weight from his arm upon himself, and maybe it’s an act of compassion too far. Perhaps he should have waited until he’d collapsed because he feels his eyes on him again. He can’t help but glance, and he’s greeted with a snapshot of brutalised perfection. His lips, cheek, and one eye are swollen and reddening, but his jawline is still perfectly angular, the beauty marks still decorate his skin, his long lashes flatten out against his cheek when he blinks dumbfounded, maybe even a little surprised, mouth dropped open letting stuttering breaths pass freely. Eddie takes a mental snapshot. A pang of fleeting guilt runs through him, but entirely by chance, it’s interrupted.

Steve’s hands quickly reach out to clumsily hold Eddie’s face. His palms on his cheeks almost squeeze a little too hard, pulling him towards him, but the fingertips in his hair, caressing his scalp and the lips that ravenously meet his, make him forget to breathe. 

The sea of sin Eddie had been cannonballing into and happily disrupting the surface of suddenly didn’t feel like his safe space anymore. Occasionally a shadowy something below the surface reaches out. Threatens to drag Eddie down with it. He wonders how long he’ll have the strength to escape its grasp.

Eddie adjusts his position a little, doesn’t pull away from Steve, gets closer so he can take them both in hand, slides his hand over them both, takes his time, and thumbs over the top of them for any droplets of added lubrication he can find. The moans passing into his mouth grow louder. He opens his eyes to see Steve’s brow knitted together, his eyes no longer softly closed but screwed shut. Eddie moves faster, and Steve pulls back. A string of curses leave his mouth, “Shitshitshitshit.” He quickly moves out of Eddie’s grip with a hiss, “Fuck!”

“Something…wrong?” Eddie teases a little. Steve shakes his head, looks down at himself, wipes his hand over his face, and laughs a little. “If you wanna stop, put your big boy pants on and say so, Harrington.”

Steve’s smile fades, and his mood switches. “I never fucking said that. If you…” he starts, and whatever was about to leave his mouth makes him cower back down, “I-I didn’t say that, that’s all.”

Eddie can’t guess what he wants to say but wants to know, “My mistake.” He offers, and Steve looks up at him again, hopefully. Eddie hops off the bed and retrieves the wallet from his jeans. On return, he props himself up with pillows, tips out a bunch of lube sachets and condoms from his wallet and then tosses it onto the floor somewhere.

Eddie tears open a lube sachet with his teeth and squeezes it over his cock and hand. The cold sting of it makes him bite down on his lip to hold in a reactionary noise. He hitches up his knees and makes eye contact with Steve as he pleasures himself. The slick glide soon has him breathing more heavily, and like a moth to a flame, Steve is soon stalking his way back up the bed, looking between Eddie’s face and his display. Eddie stills his hand, sighs, and looks expectantly at Steve, “If I what?”

“If you…” Steve starts, and Eddie starts pumping his fist again. “If you hadn’t got laid in this long” He catches on pretty quickly as Eddie quickens his pace, lets his growling moans out freely, and watches how it makes Steve’s dick twitch when he does. Maybe he over-performs a few to wind Steve up further. He then exhales slowly as he squeezes the base of his shaft and stops again.

“What are you just playing Yahtzee with your friends in your playroom, Harrington? Is that it?” Eddie chuckles, and Steve looks a little conflicted.

Steve takes a hard swallow of what must be his pride and talks directly to Eddie’s glistening dick, “I might as well have been,” he starts, and so does Eddie, “I haven’t been able to, um, you know” Eddie pumps himself faster, trying to make the most lurid noises with the lube and an occasional exhale of a moan from his mouth. Steve is silent, quietly inching his hand towards himself. Eddie slows again, raises an eyebrow at Steve when he looks at his face, “Fuck, I mean, I thought it was gone for a year or something. Until…well, tonight.” 

And now many pieces are slotting into place for Eddie, why he’s so desperate and needy. Letting Eddie use him, why he pulled away, he doesn’t know if this is a one-off or not, and not just with him but his own body too. He wants the works, and though Eddie really shouldn’t have any pity for him, he feels a spark of it.

“Lie back,” Eddie says, and Steve double-takes.

“What?” He frowns.

“Don’t what me, asshole. Come up here, and lie fucking back, Steve!” Eddie performatively snarls, and he sees the corner of Steve’s mouth twitch up as he ungracefully hurries to obey.

He straddles Steve’s thighs, pinching them closed between his own and transfers most of the lube still on his hand onto Steve’s thigh ungraciously. Nothing too exciting for him right now, not yet.

He leans over him, careful not to create too much friction between them. Brackets Steve's broader shoulders with his arms and returns to how they started. Urgent kisses, wandering hands, teasing tongues. Walks a series of gentle bites along his jaw, licks at his throat, and sucks down onto his skin, leaving his mark as he travels down, making a kiss or lurid lick pitstop at every beauty mark and tattoo he finds. Pulls gently at the nipple piercings with his teeth and soothes over them after with the wetness of his tongue. Traces over every muscle dip until he gets to those hip bones he’d promised himself earlier. Steve writhes like the reptile he is under him as he mouths over them. Eddie might be getting a little too into it and reaches down to give himself some much-needed touch before moving down further, resting his chin on Steve’s thigh and looking up at the dewy-eyed, breathless creature above him. 

Eddie observes him and waits for his attention before blowing gently on the moistened tip of Steve’s dick. He watches Steve’s craned neck release and throws his head back into the pillows, “Jesus!” he breathes into the air above him. 

Eddie waits a little while until his breathing slows before hitching up Steve’s knees and separating them so he can lie between them. He trails a mixture of wet kisses and teeth drags along the inside of his thighs, watching his body constantly, ensuring it’s enough to keep him in that sweet spot but never too much.

He tests a slow trail of kisses along his solid shaft, which, on closer inspection, as Eddie had predicted, was indeed as perfect as the rest of him. It would almost be annoying if Eddie wasn’t having such a good time.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Steve moans as his hands grip onto the bedding. Eddie smiles. This is what he’s after, keeping him right here until Eddie decides to push him across the line. He wets his lips and pushes himself onto his elbows, admiring the gift before him as Steve settles down again. Then, he licks a fat stripe with the flat of his tongue from base to tip, and Steve jolts. He flicks the tip of his tongue along the slit to collect what is pooling in it and watches Steve’s back arch off the bed. Gods, Eddie wishes he hadn’t done that. He tastes delicious. So fucking good, Eddie is trying to spread the tiny droplet around his tongue so he can savour every aspect of it, and that makes Eddie lose sight of what he’s supposed to be doing. His hand rushes down to fuck into his own fist as he takes Steve wholly into his mouth until the tip of it threatens his throat. He just about hears Steve’s broken-off ahs and chanting of his name over his own guttural moans caused by hollowing out his cheeks and letting his tongue massage the underside of the throbbing cock in his mouth. Strong hands grip his shoulders, pull him out of his trance, and he releases him with an audible pop.

Steve’s chest and face are sweetly flushed as he’s gasping for air, and then the knitted brow falls into a content expression once he’s calmed again.

Eddie reaches over him to grab a few more lube sachets and a condom, but as he does, Steve desperately grabs at him again, pulling him in for another kiss, and Eddie isn’t sure it’s because he’s so damn close himself, but it makes his head spin, almost drops what’s in his hands. It’s not a hard, rough kiss like before, but it has passion and want all the same.

“Turn over,” Eddie says gently as he encourages him back down to the bed. Steve stalls for a second. Eddie figures he’s misheard, “Turn. Over.” he repeats softly, and this time he meets the request, “Just so I’m clear, this past year, you haven’t fucked anyone but has anyone fucked you?”

“No,” he answers quickly, though the pillows slightly muffle it, and Eddie has to bite his lips together to not whimper with anticipation as he sits behind Steve, rips open another packet of lube, and observes this new angle. The huge wolf tattoo he’s seen plenty of times, and the text stamped at the base of his spine he’d seen twice before partially, but now Wild Thing had an entirely different meaning. 

Sachet, still hanging out his mouth, Eddie has an idea. He wraps an arm around Steve’s waist and pulls him onto his knees so his peach of an ass is raised in the air. He runs his hands up Steve’s back and out to the sides so he can hold his arms. Trails his fingers down them until he has hold of Steve’s hands and brings them around so he can spread himself for him, and he wordlessly obeys as Eddie takes off his rings. 

He generously applies the lubricant to Steve and himself, secretly relishing in every exclamation or body spasm from the man before him.

He touches the pink puckered flesh, circles it gently, listens for the melody of moans he’s conducting and feels infinitely harder with each one. Waits for that magic moment when Steve backs up towards him, eager for it. Eddie pushes his finger inside and holds it still for a while as Steve’s body tenses, accompanied by a hiss until he finally relaxes. Relaxes might be a strong word because the way he’s clamped around Eddie’s finger makes him wonder if this would be possible at all.

Steve pushes back again, taking him deeper, and honestly, Eddie is impressed with how keen he is but does a quick glance of a check anyway. Steve’s face is side on, pushed into the pillows, panting heavily. He thinks maybe it’s enough. He’s had his fun, he’s already a mess, but Steve catches him looking, “What’s the holdup, stud?” he mumbles out, pushes back again, and that pisses Eddie off. Fine. He was just trying to be courteous, being fond of switching it up himself. He knows how it feels on the other side of things, but fuck it, right? Steve doesn’t give a shit.

Eddie does, however, and he’s not letting this debauched freak drag him down to something he’d regret. So he continues loosening Steve up, sometimes, to be spiteful, excruciatingly slowly, delighting between the switching Steve’s whines of frustration and groans of ecstasy as his fingertips meet the spot he knows is making him see stars.

When he’s primed to Eddie’s satisfaction and squirming in the hotel’s bright white sheets, a pathetic begging mess of a man, Eddie reaches around and quickly gives him a few firm strokes, making him huff out into the pillows. Eddie returns his fingers to his mouth for another taste, like an amuse-bouche before the main event.

He taps the sheathed head of himself at the tight entrance, pushing Steve’s hands away, and amuses himself by sliding over it a few times because it feels exquisite and drives Steve insane. He waits like a predator stalking his prey, waiting for Steve’s frustration to reach its peak. He waits for Steve to turn around with a frown, pushes the tip of himself inside as they lock eyes, wipes the scowl right off of it, and takes his breath away. 

Eddie would love to smugly smile back, but he’s gripping Steve’s sides for dear life. Jesus Christ, he was tight. He stays perfectly still. Which alone is making him start to sweat. He pushes himself deeper. Another x-rated groan from Steve and clenching around him almost has him retreating entirely. A strange jealousy sweeps over Eddie. All those noises from Steve were supposed to be his. He wraps his arms around Steve’s torso, coaxing his back to press to Eddie’s chest. Steve almost panics when he realises his weight might slide him down quicker than he wants, but Eddie holds him tightly until he’s found a comfortable squat, “There you go, sweetheart, take your time,” he croons slyly in his ear. 

And Eddie expects this evident pain slut to impale himself on his dick, but that isn’t what happens. His arms that are wrapped around his torso are mapped over by Steve’s, their fingers become intertwined, and as he turns so, they are face to face again. The grey streaks of eyeliner-saturated tears and tenderness take Eddie entirely off guard and snap him out of his attempted cruelty. He couldn’t figure this guy out at all. 

This close, he can see that no photograph would do his eye colour justice, not without editing, and where is the reality in that. Eddie gets lost in the pigments, getting bullied to the edges of his iris by his dilated pupil or looking at the beauty marks on his face that aren’t hidden by the blemishes he caused. 

Before he can say something clever or push him away, he finds his bottom lip trapped between Steve’s teeth. He pulls and drags his teeth over it as he sinks down a little more. It’s released when a groan threatens to escape Steve, which Eddie swallows down in a kiss and feels the fingers intertwined with his squeeze tightly. 

Eddie senses the danger now, but it happens in fits and starts because, in between the warning signs, his pleasure centres are blocking out any logical functions. Eddie knows he’s treading water, the shadowy thing licking at his heels, making its presence known but never quite revealing until it disappears again. He wonders if Steve feels it, too. If he feels like there isn’t just hate and lust here. He hopes to any deity listening that it is simply his hormones talking nonsense. That he’s merely just in the heat of the moment.

Steve pushes down again, and Eddie is in to the hilt. He’s clenched around him tightly and overwhelmed by sensation, and Eddie gives in. He softly sighs into another kiss and almost forgets why he’s doing any of this in the first place. Almost. It’s the roll of Steve’s hips and the whimper of “Fuck Eddie. You feel so fuckin’ good.” That pulls Eddie entirely out of his trance, reminding him of the aim here, 

“Good.” he purrs in his ear before untangling their hands and pushing him back down to the bed. 

Initially, the pace is slow, deep and deliberate as his fingers grip tightly onto Steve’s hips, and Eddie is just enjoying watching himself disappear inside him when Steve decides to say something stupid.

“Is this how you fucked that guy at the hotel?”

And in that one question, everything comes flooding back to Eddie again. The reason he’d stayed at the hotel, the reason he had to come crawling back to work with Harrington, everything he’d lost. 

With an absence of a reply, he tried to jog Eddie’s memory, “The one that looked like I used to?” As if implying that Eddie fucks so many people in hotels he’d not know which one he was talking about. It makes Eddie's lip twitch into a discrete sneer.

“No, but I probably should, shouldn’t I? Treat all you sluts the same, right?” Harrington’s body tenses under his touch as he pushes him around, making him arch more and his legs spread wider. He grabs his wrists and pulls them behind his back, landing him face-first into the bed again. Eddie tugs on his wrists, pulling him into a stretch almost. He starts thrusting again much faster this time, enough to make Harrington’s groans waver with each one, “He was beautiful, wasn’t he? Actually had some meat on his bones, something to really dig my teeth into. Something that I thought about for days later, and thank the gods for you bringing him up now, Harrington, because I get to think about him all over again whilst I fuck you wide open.” Eddie goes for broke and wants to make Harrington feel like dirt, like nothing, that he's lost it all in this moment.

Eddie sets a relentless pace. There is no talking now, just the sound of skin on skin, an occasional curse word from Eddie and Harrington’s muffled groans as he bites down on a pillow. With every noise, he fucks into him harder to shut him up until he’s just a set of stunted breaths, and Eddie becomes a sweaty grunting mess.

Harrington’s noises go up an octave as Eddie lets go of his arms and adjusts his position. And soon Eddie, hearing his name chanted again in a mixture of curse words and blasphemy, knows he’s got him where he wants him.

“My god, Eddie, fuck,” Harrington babbles. “I’m so close, Eddie, please” And fuck does he think about stopping right there, but he’s achingly close himself. Only a staring competition between this fucking giant wolf on Harrington’s back was helping.

Eddie spits in his hand, reaches around to spread it over Harrington’s length, and takes one of Steve’s hands and places it there, “Go ahead, Harrington, make a mess of yourself,” Eddie says with a slight mockery in his voice.

Harrington doesn’t need telling twice. Eddie watches his arm move in time with his thrusts and with a screwed-up face and a strained “Jesus. Fuck” Harrington spills with a loud exhale, and Eddie slows to a stop and pulls out as Harrington’s body stutters before it goes limp. He’s desperately near cumming himself, but he wants the full view. He rolls Harrington over so he’s lying in his own cum, picks up some on his fingertips and decorates Harrington’s lips with it whilst he’s trying to catch his breath. He then repositions himself between his legs and hooks them over his shoulders.

Harrington looks down but can’t form a response. He just slams his head back into the pillows behind him in blissed-out exhaustion. Eddie reinserts himself easily and leans right forward, bringing Harrington’s knees nearly up to his shoulders and leans down to messily lick over his lips as he rears his hips back only to slam them back down, a guttural winded noise leaves Harrington, and Eddie grins, looking down at this picture perfect fucked out freak underneath him.

Eddie wedges a hand between them and runs his fingers over his length to see if he’s got anything left or just to overstimulate him. He gets the latter, some amiable noises, turning into things on the edge of expressing pain, but he’s not doing a single thing about it. He slams into him again, and this time, the gasp comes with a sigh of enjoyment. Eddie continues to pick up the pace as he watches Harrington’s face contort underneath him.

And Eddie starts to lose himself. He closes his eyes as they roll backwards at the pleasure he’s feeling course through his body. He whimpers and moans, curses the gods, curses Harrington. The sweat is dripping from him as he closes in on the finish line. Steve’s hands on his face make him finally open his eyes. He’s brushing the curls and sweat from his face between huffed-out noises from Eddie’s jackhammering.

“You’re so fucking, hot, Eddie,” Steve sighs out as one of his hands reaches in between them. Finds Eddie’s hand to jerk off Steve together. “Are you gonna cum for me?” He manages before his brows push together, and he moans loud and long. In his pre-climax state, Eddie leans forward to capture his sounds for his own.

“Mine.” He growls through gritted teeth as his hips rut faster into Steve.

Steve’s unoccupied hand cradles his jaw, “Yours,” he whimpers out, and Eddie’s insides, already buzzing with adrenaline and imminent climax, completely somersault. “That’s it baby, cum for me.” he urges Eddie on, and stupefied by hormones and sensations, Eddie wholeheartedly agrees.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum so hard for you, sweetheart,” Eddie pushes through his teeth.

And that has Steve in a real mess, his arm moving much faster. Eddie watches him babble incoherent things, his eyelids flutter, and tears spill out as he cums again between them. 

This was everything Eddie wanted. He had finally broken Steve Harrington, maybe not in all the ways he wanted, but certainly in an unforgettable way.

As Eddie's most satisfying climax is seconds away, a broken Steve paints Eddie’s lips with his cum covered fingers, “Mine,” he hiccups as the tears spill out of his eyes, and he reaches up for a kiss as Eddie's hips stutter against him and he careers off the edge into complete euphoria.

As Eddie slowly comes down, he finds himself repositioned, held in Steve’s arms, fully collapsed against him, slow kisses being gently applied all over his lips and a hand in his hair. 

Still catching his breath, Eddie raises his eyes to his. With their chests heaving, for some reason, they both laugh, and Eddie sees a side of Steve he’s not encountered before that maybe he’s seen glimmers of. When he laughs, he holds on to himself, and his eyes almost completely disappear from view because the apples of his cheeks are pushed up so high, even though there isn’t much to them these days. There is only silence or the sounds of their breathing for a while.

Eddie finds himself back where this started, staring at another ornate ceiling. His heart still thudding in his chest, he chances another glance over at Steve, only to look away quickly because he was already being observed. Steve’s hand gently plays with his hair, “We should probably clean up before they get here. Make it just look like a fight.” Steve’s voice is quiet and rough, but Eddie thinks he can hear a little sadness, too.

“Before who get here?” Eddie asks in confusion.

“Whoever the label sends when they get wind of this.” He sighs, “Damage control. To make sure you aren’t gonna leak anything. To remind me to behave myself, maybe teach me a lesson,” Steve pats him, sits up, takes the condom off Eddie, ties it up, and then starts gathering the wrappers before heading to the bathroom. Eddie hears a flush before he returns, “Come on, get up,” he says kindly with a smile, “gotta get this in the laundry shoot asap.”

Eddie can see him favouring one arm over the other as he tries to gather up the bedding. He winces occasionally but makes no sound of pain. He just tries to bundle everything up as Eddie watches the melancholy work its way over him. The Harrington of it all makes Steve disappear again. “Here, let me do that,” Eddie pretends to be annoyed as he bumps Steve out of the way to take over, “Goddamn rockstars got no clue about chores, obviously” he bundles everything up in his arms, “Where is it going?” Eddie looks at him like it’s the biggest inconvenience in the world, but Steve just stares for a second before silently pointing him to the private shute. Eddie heads towards it, calling back, “Let me know when you're done in the shower.” as he shoves the material down.

But the reply is closer than he expects, “You can wait if you want, but there’s room for two,” Steve says, looking between Eddie and random objects around the room. Steve swallows, “Or you know more? I’m pretty sure I’ve had four or five in there at a squeeze before,” with that, he walks away, saying, “You know, saving the planet, Eddie, not wasting water or whatever.”

He’s frozen in deliberations with himself, can feel that shadowy thing lurking closer now, and senses the danger of where his endorphins are taking him, but he’s also curious about Steve’s behaviour now. Was he afraid of the label?

Eddie resolves to take a chance. If what he said was true, this could be their last few minutes or hours together, the final opportunity for information for his book. He quickly shoves the material down and ensures it has not got stuck on the way. And follows the sound of running water.

He eventually finds the lavish bathroom. For a moment, he is confused that he can’t see a shower but can hear one until he realises another part of the room is around the corner. He pokes his head around, and the sight that meets his eyes is not what he expects. Steve's forearms and fists against the wall, his forehead pressed against the tiles, and his body slightly hunched over as it shakes like he’s sobbing. Eddie retreats quickly and thinks about leaving entirely. Was it because of what he’d done? Fuck he’d wanted to get revenge so badly he’d forgotten there was a human inside. What had his anger led him to become? Another bully, another vile person in a despicable place.

Eddie swallows down his emotions and resolves this was enough, he’d gotten something, which wasn’t everything but better than nothing, and maybe if he could fix this with the label, he’d get his career on the up again. He nods at no one and steels himself, “Steve, are you in here?”

“Y-yeah,” Steve replies, and Eddie gives him a few seconds to compose himself before strolling in like he’d seen nothing, putting on a show, looking around the area and whistling.

“Wow, this is truly fancy, huh?” He smiles, and Steve mirrors it as best he can and pushes open the door for him.

“This is the presidential suite.” Steve jokes and that’s the last thing said between them. They shower in silence, but it doesn’t feel awkward. Steve occasionally hands him a bottle of product. He doesn’t look at him when he does; he just holds it in his eyeline to take. Eddie notices the hair products are specifically for curls.

Steve gets out, towels himself, and sits in the chaise lounge. Eddie goes to grab a towel from the pile, but before he can, Steve hands him one from a rack, and it’s warm to the touch. 

As Eddie dries off, he can see Steve examining the aftermath in the mirror. Poking at his face and body, wincing occasionally. Eddie joins him in the reflection.

“Shit, man, I’m sorry. I lost it,” Eddie tries.

“I deserved it,” he says back simply before checking over his teeth, which makes Eddie feel terrible. He looks at the floor and goes to leave, “I started it on purpose, Eddie. You tried to walk away.” Steve says as he continues to look in the mirror.

“Yeah, well, I should have just kept walking, shouldn’t I?” Eddie says solemnly.

“I wasn’t gonna let you walk out of there without hitting me.” He says, running a comb through his hair, which he hands to Eddie as he catches up to him.

Eddie plays with the comb between his fingers and leans against the hallway wall, “Do they do this often?” Eddie asks.

“Who? Do what?” Steve asks, a little confused.

“The label about people you spend time with,” Eddie says vaguely, not looking up from the comb teeth he’s running his thumb over.

He hears Steve sigh, “Look, as you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m not as straight as I’m portrayed, ok? They want me to stay that way. That’s what keeps me making money. If I were to come out, it would ruin the whole thing. So no, they don’t normally do this because I don’t normally do this. Buckley usually keeps me in line, not because she wants to, but because I ask her to,” he pauses, “and sometimes I ask her to turn a blind eye, when we’re away, when there are fewer company spies, but usually, that’s for five minutes or so, at some no coverage allowed party, you know?”

“Why don’t you just tell them to fuck off? You’ve got more money than you could possibly know what to do with.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just me, Eddie. It’s Buckley, Denise in PR, Fred in merch, and Gina in finance. Harrington isn’t just me. It’s a machine, and I’m just one cog everyone can see,” Steve says, “also, money can’t buy everything, or so I’ve found. Sometimes you gotta be in with the right people too.”

“Steve, you paid nearly a million to work with me. You’re telling me there is something millions of dollars can’t buy?” Eddie folds his arms and almost laughs.

“Do you, maybe, wanna stay over?” Steve asks, ignoring the question.

Eddie is surprised. Isn’t that what people typically say before sex rather than after? Was this guy insatiable? Did he want another round? No, he’s just made sure the evidence was gone.

“You haven’t gotta, I just thought maybe….I dunno. I guess I just don’t know what’s gonna happen, is all, and punches and fucking aside. I kinda like your company and, uh, though this isn’t your responsibility, I don’t really like waking up on my own. I mean, I could get Buckley to call someone in, but, um, they might ask questions,” Steve gestures to himself.

Eddie looks up at him, but he’s looking down and toeing at the carpet. Eddie huffs out a laugh, “Guess it beats walking past Buckley on my own right now.”

Steve raises his head, and there is a twitch of a smile, “Thanks,” he says as he disappears for a minute or two, leaving Eddie with his thoughts, before returning fully dressed, holding Eddie’s clothes and wallet. He takes the cut-up T-shirt, returns to the lounge area, and starts planning his crime scene as Eddie puts his underwear back on. He starts placing glasses and leaving drops of alcohol in them, spilling a little on the carpet and doesn’t tidy up any items cast on the floor. Partially fills two glasses and carries them through to bedroom further down the hall. He places a drink on each bedside table and hands Eddie a fresh T-shirt from his own clothes.

“You're gonna have to put it all back on, so it doesn’t look…well…gay?” And Steve bursts out laughing at that, and Eddie joins him. The bed is enormous, so there is no need to be close. They take a side each.

The lights go out, and it’s still and quiet again.

“Goodnight, Eddie,” Steve says.

“Goodnight, Steve,” Eddie says as he closes his eyes for sleep to take him.

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Songs that inspired this chapter: Touch Me I’m Sick - Mudhoney, Low - Foo Fighters, Closer - NIN, Last - NIN

[haptronym]

Fanon vs. Canon #1: All Might is insecure about his appearance

Been doing some musing about fanon and canon in the MHA universe, and was convinced to put it online, so here you are.

A lot of people make fanworks because the source material feels incomplete in some way. They explore things that they feel could’ve been fleshed out more, or interesting alternate character interpretations, or AU scenarios. Sometimes, I spend so much time playing around in the fandom side that I forget what was actually in the show... I go back to rewatch and am shocked to realize that the character I got to know so well in fanfic is actually very different in the source material.

So, since I find it fun to think about this stuff, I figured I’d go through a few really popular fan assumptions about my current obsession, All Might, that actually seem to clash pretty hard with the source material. The first one I want to tackle: the well-worn idea that All Might is insecure about his appearance... that he never wants anyone to see his scar, that he thinks he's ugly and is constantly self-conscious about his failing body.

This interpretation is all over, and it’s not hard to understand why. I would be insecure too.

The whole show kicks off because of his injury and its effects. He spends most of the story trying to hide his frail body. His central conflict revolves around his failing strength and how that changes his abilities and identity. So it makes perfect logical sense that he would be horribly self-conscious about his sick and injured body when he spent so long building an image of perfection. It makes sense that he would hate his true form, that he’d be embarrassed by it, that he’d be ashamed.

And yet... that’s not how he seems to act in canon.

He definitely tries to hide his true form, because it would damage the perfect image he’s built around the Symbol of Peace. He jokingly calls himself “old man,” and he is very frustrated with his body’s physical limits. But there’s very little indication of shame or self-consciousness about his appearance. Overall, he acts incredibly nonchalant about how he looks. A few examples: 

In the very first episode, he shows off his scar to a complete stranger. There were other ways to get his point across, but he went right for the grisly one. 

He does not seem very concerned about covering up his scar in general. He keeps wearing shirts that ride up and show it... get an undershirt, you’re going to catch a cold!

In the first movie, he spends an entire scene cavorting around in his underwear in front of his boyfriend while getting a medical examination. Even after he’s presumably done with the exam, he still spends most of the scene wandering around half-naked instead of trying to find a towel or something. His body language does not seem hesitant or embarrassed at all.

In one of the light novels, it’s implied that he bathes in the communal bath at the same  time as Cementoss. It seems like he’d try to bathe alone if he were self-conscious about people seeing his scar. 

In a Team-Up Missions comic, he is asked to play a zombie in a class film, and seems to delight in it to the point that he creeps around the office trying to scare Aizawa with his stage makeup. (He fails.) This doesn’t seem like something he’d do if he were actually sensitive about his appearance... it takes self-confidence to poke fun at yourself this way.

This part during the Stain confrontation in chapter 326 is the only example I could find of him saying something that could be interpreted as ragging on his own appearance, and that’s during a time when he’s consumed with self-loathing in general. In Japanese, it seems much less sarcastic and more matter-of-fact ("You wouldn't recognize me in this form.")

Aside from that, his overall demeanor and body language throughout the series just... does not come off to me as the behavior of someone who’s bashful about his looks. Yes, he spent a lot of time trying to keep his true form a secret. But it was always framed in a practical way. To me, it came across like someone covering up a tattoo when they go to work because they know their boss will throw a fit. They aren’t ashamed of themselves, but they know that being totally open will damage their reputation, thanks to societal pickiness. 

Just... his entire attitude seems to be missing the tells one would expect from someone insecure. He’s polite and deferential around other adults, but of course he tries to be humble when he’s the biggest deal in any given room. One would think that if he were self-conscious, he wouldn’t unapologetically run around in eye-searing banana-colored pinstripe, or garish ties (which the anime needs to quit editing out). He’s constantly flinging out dramatic, over-the-top poses that look absurd in his true form, but he doesn’t seem to care. We never saw him being flustered when first integrating with the other U.A. faculty, or trying to explain himself after Kamino. He just owned it.

To me, it makes sense that he wouldn’t be a self-conscious person in general. He’s a wildly famous public media figure who seems perfectly comfortable showing off his butt in promotional material; you don’t get that popular without learning to tune out people’s opinions. And as Stain said in chapter 326, his real influence doesn't come from powers or quirks: it comes from his pure, driven force of will. He never needed any justification beyond “run ahead at full speed.” He never cared what other people thought; he actively left them behind to achieve his goals. Living that kind of life requires astonishing conviction and inner strength, and it’s poignant to see that inner strength demonstrated with a casual indifference about his true form even when most people would be insecure. It goes to show: even without his powers, he is anything but ordinary.

Another thing that could explain his ease with his true form is chapter 92 of the Vigilantes spinoff. Here, it’s shown (along with... several dubious things like “Might Ears”) that he’s always had a “true form,” even before his injury. It would be much less jarring to cope with a less-impressive alternate self if he always had a less-impressive alternate self.

Of course, his confident act could be just that: an act. He could be secretly dying on the inside. People can keep their discomfort and low self-esteem to themselves, especially people like him who are concerned with projecting an inspiring image. But we never see him touch on the topic in his inner monologues, so there’s no way to know for sure.

(One caveat: a lot of fanworks that have him act insecure about his body are romance stories. In that context, self-consciousness makes a lot more sense. Of course a person’s appearance will be more high-stakes in a relationship based on physical attraction. He could very well be more shy than we normally see him if he were in a situation like that. It’s interesting to explore!)

But to me, the single most surprising part about this topic isn’t his own canon behavior... it’s everyone else’s. Nobody seems to bat an eye at his shocking secret. To the point that it feels bizarre. It’s mind-boggling how little anyone else brings up his looks:

Izuku does freak out when first seeing him... but after the initial shock, he never brings up All Might’s appearance again. 

When Tsukauchi learns his identity in Vigilantes chapter 6+ Beta, he just starts harping about All Might’s paperwork. Nothing about how the #1 hero has suddenly deflated into a bag of bones.

None of the U.A. teachers comment on his appearance or seem to try and coddle him, besides showing concern for his time limit.

None of the students react to his true form, either, once they learn about it. There’s a bit in the Training of the Dead OVA where he’s assumed to be a zombie, but it’s brief and played for laughs.

In the Kamino fight, AFO goes on and on about how devastating it will be now that everyone has seen his true form... but the only person we see give any negative reaction at all is Endeavor. The public goes on cheering for him, the heroes keep fighting alongside him. Afterwards, the main fallout seems to be, once again, the issue of him being unable to fight. Nobody seems upset that he was deceiving them.

After Kamino, we get an entire episode about a newspaper reporter stalking the class and All Might, and yet all we hear is admiration of him. The reporter decides not to reveal any juicy gossip on him, and the newspaper is instead delighted to run some pictures of all Might eating meat buns in his true form.

There also seems to be very little media sensationalism after Kamino. There is a little section in red at the bottom-left of this newspaper that starts off asking “What is this zombie!?” but the main focus of the page is his hero form, and the end of the blurb concludes that it’s heartbreaking to see the comparison between his hero form and what he looks like now. Not exactly bloodthirsty journalism. (One note: apparently, in Japan, you can be sued for defamation even if the claims are true. So perhaps this is part of why the news acted so tame.)

This is the only thing I could find where a member of the public actually said something mean about his appearance, and it seems like she blurts it out before she realizes who he is:

Also, look how he responds: pretty much exactly the same way he responded on the beach way back at the beginning of the story, when someone recognized him and he didn’t want to draw attention to himself and Izuku spending undue time together. More about wanting to avoid publicity than any kind of self-conscious or offended reaction.

Even the villains seem to go easy on him! (Aside from AFO, but he’s AFO.) The only non-AFO villains I can recall who specifically mock his appearance are two henchmen in chapter 313, who act smug and haughty for exactly 1 panel before cowering in terror once he starts yelling at them. Seriously, am I missing something? If anyone has other examples, please chime in.

My best guess, besides “the author didn’t want to deal with this rabbit hole,” is that it’s a narrative decision done to reinforce just how much influence he has. He’s so universally loved that even his ghastly appearance doesn’t dent people’s admiration. They still respect him no matter what he looks like. (But then they go and put “I am not here” signs on his statue... hmm.)

Anyway, the point of this whole post is: in canon, his physical appearance is overwhelmingly a non-issue. He doesn’t fret about it, and neither does anyone else. And, ironically, this goes a long way towards explaining why he’s characterized as the complete opposite in so many fanworks. Fan creations are often made to fill in things that feel like frustrating missing gaps in the source material, and it is extremely weird how utterly this whole issue is glossed over. It feels like a huge letdown, considering we spent the whole beginning of the series biting our nails wondering what kind of horrible consequences he might face after being found out. It makes sense why fans would want to explore a more plausible-feeling world in which there are consequences for not looking like a physical ideal, where the media is cruel and people are judgmental, where wounds can injure your heart and not just your body. 

But it can also be valuable to look at why canon approached things this way. To me, it’s an inspiring thing, to think that he can exist unapologetically, not caring about what he looks like, just caring about what he can do to serve those around him. That, to me, is exactly what All Might is all about.

I'm always forgetting the things that happen in this show, so if you have counterpoints, I'd love to hear them. These are just my thoughts, I'm no authority. We're all here to have fun and be creative!

(Thanks to @journalxxx for lots of help and input on this post)

[thedistortionsno1simp]

Harry Potter but He's constantly wearing a suit of armour(for medical-magic reasons) and has C-PTSD(I can't even with this title)

(TW for body horror, and mention of child abuse) Soooo I had a lot of time on my hands and you know, as I do when I have daydreaming time, I started thinking about Harry Potter. Now I've read Harry Potter and I think the one thing that always frustrated me was his lack of personality. It always felt like characters were telling us who he was, instead of him *showing* us who he was. So I came up with more interesting versions of him as one does. And then today I came up with a version where the magic that struck him in childhood and was cast by musty dusty Moldemort didn't just leave a scar...oh no no no this was the worst of magic and it had been just left to stew in his body, a scar is too small. His ENTIRE BODY SLOWLY MELTED FROM THE INSIDE OUT AND PULSED WITH MAGIC in this little alternative universe I created. Now this left most of his body a mushy magical mess and now Dumbledore has to figure out what to do with this somehow still alive pile of flesh, magic and warped bone that was baby Harry. So he stuffed it in a suit of porcelain armour of course. This gave Harry's body a sense of structure but came off as a bit uncanny and couldn't pass for human. So most of his life before Hogwarts was spent in Dursley's closet but you know for slightly better reasons this time. This also give the Dursley kinda better reasons to be disgusted by him. He's allowed to go out at night when no one can see him though. He regularly goes to see Mr.Weasley to check on his armour, since Mr. Weasly is the one who designed it. This introduces him to Ron before Hogwarts and allows them to form a friendship. Once Harry gets into Hogwarts, he would have to slowly build up friendship and trust rather than the quick way it happened in the books cos he's slightly uncanny now to most people and I just find it more realistic. Here are some doodles I did on my phone to get an idea of what this Harry kinda looks like:

(The silly face was something he drew on for fun and friendliness purposes. The one on the right us to show what he looks like underneath)

Also the C-PTSD comes in with the Dursleys especially Vernon(I think that's his name) This would most likely be due to physical abuse that not even his son or wife would know about. Harry would push this all down and then from then on start being a happy go lucky guy who just pushes down every negative emotion and has terrible memory. And this would backfire on him in a key moment in the story. Why C-PTSD? Why so specific? Well bc it's the one I know how to write well, since I've researched on it a lot and have experienced symptoms of it. Also I think he should have some sort of mental scar after all that's he's been through

Other things that would probably change in this weird au :

James and Lily had a *terrible* relationship and James was secretly gay for Mr.Weasley just never had the guts to confess

Dark magic isn't a thing, there's just magic and some just happens to be able to kill you

Sirius x Lupin and Dumbledore x Snape are Canon in this au(Please don't come at me for Snape and Dumbledore, they are both adults)

Dumbledore ain't smart or wise, he's just a master of bullshit and Snape sees right through it(Snape tries to better him, whether it's working is a different story)

Ron x Harry does become a thing in this au but it's slow-burning in a way? Just know feelings are weird

Hermione is a ball of anxiety and burnt out gifted kid syndrome but she is still the only logical one in the iconic trio

The story's main theme would not be grief but rather trauma and more specifically on trauma, mental illness, autonomy and free will and how they relate.

Magic would be very, very dependent or have unwanted or different effects depending on the emotional state of the user at the time. Think magic bursting out during a panic attack or a water spell become an electrical and water spell due to the castor's overexcitement

Uhhhh this is just a silly au I wrote and I might refine it more in the future and you know seriously think about details like why Harry is living with the Dursleys still cos 'for safety'does not feel solid enough but then again it sounds like the kinda thing this Dumbledore would say.

If you read all of this thanks and goodbye