#(obvs I know they’re still around but I’m so curious of where they are and how they get back)

[catzgam3rz]

April 30th VOD already is amazing but special little pain having Phil teleport from Fit’s place and be looking directly at the #1 Dad picture while all the children have vanished <3

[rena-lily]

Yall I was playing the event for twst today and OMG WHY ARE EPEL AND SEBEK SO CUTE??? LIKE HELLO??? Bro they’re literally besties! Trust🤞LIKE HELLO NOT THEM SMILING MISCHIEVOUSLY AND THEN PICKING IDIA UP

Bro I’m just saying I feel like their friendship should be talked about a bit more!

Anyways I was thinking so imagine after the Harveston event, they all go back to NRC but there is a visible shift in their schedule. Before Sebek would spend a lot of his time with Dia 3 while Epel would mostly be with Vil But then now they always seem to be missing throughout the day!

Malleus doesn’t notice how often Sebek is gonna until like a week passes and this is starting to become a common thing while Silver also notices Sebek isn’t with him as often anymore so now Dia 3 is curious as to where Sebek is going throughout the day!

Next thing you know they see Epel and Sebek just running around near the woods or just hanging out together at Ramshackle and they’re just like when did those two get so close??? But obvs they’re glad Sebek is interacting with more people now! And from then on everyone can visibly see how close Epel and Sebek have gotten!! Like you can always see them walking in the halls together(Sebek is taking turns with Silver to escort Malleus now that Sebek started walking with Epel) and you can always see Sebek smiling so widely now:3 and you can always catch him talking to someone on the phone with Epel(hint:it’s Epel’s Grandma). All the other first years also note how Epel and Sebek are starting to become sort of a duo now obvs not as chaotic as Adeuce but they’re still chaotic. You can see Epel trying to throw an apple at someone while Sebek is just gripping onto Epel so he doesn’t actually throw it!

Now this would be fine for Dia 3 BUT NOW SEBEK IS LEGIT JUST ALWAYS GONE! They can barely find him anywhere and yes he still guard Malleus but not as often as before! Now they’re all starting to feel his missing presence and it just feels so WRONG…. He’s also started having sleepovers at Pomefiore which would be fine…IF LILIA AND SILVER DIDNT CATCH VIL SAYING THAT HE WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE SEBEK TO JOIN POMEFIORE INSTEAD!

You can’t convince me that Sebek would not fit in Pomefiore, like we know how strict he is with himself and he always works hard for everything he does! And I bet you that Vil atleast respects that part(And also Vil caught Sebek with his hair down when he was at Pomefiore and he can’t just let that POTENTIAL be wasted). So now Dia 3 is just tweaking trying to get Sebek to hang out with them. They try so many ways but everytime Sebek always has to decline because he either has plans with the first years, Epel, or somehow he gets roped into a trip with Vil! THEY EVEN GOT MALLEUS TO INVITE HIM BUT HE STILL DECLINE(Don’t get him wrong he was absolutely overjoyed that his liege invited him but sadly he already made plans and he would stick with it) At this point if they want to hang out with him more they’re gonna have to reserve a time specifically for what day😭

Each failed attempt is just making Sebek slowly drift away from them without him even noticing! They’re so desperate now😭 Anyways while all this is happening, Sebek is living his best life now hanging out with his friends, having a specific friend now(Epel) and going around more places and being accepted!!! He’s so happy:3

They’re also so silly for this🤣 like plz why did Sebek look so aggressive at first LMAOO gotta love the team spirit tho!!!

[captain-peroxid3]

Haha alright then ask and you shall receive -

On the subject of Fat Angel (as I affectionately refer to him – no hate intended, coming from a plus size person myself). This is just the way I think of Angel – he grew up in Ireland, not having had the hardest time with the level of wealth his family had acquired but certainly not having had the level, say, that Spike had as William. So to me it always makes sense that he would have been slender and probably did understand what it was like to live *moderately* without certain things. Then he gets turned by Darla – she promises him the world, which for a curious young adult who wants to know what else is out there is obviously gonna sound appealing. The first thing she does with him when he rises from his grave is encourage him to eat the gravedigger nearby. This is her first instance of keeping her promise – she is already saying “whatever you want now, take it. It’s yours.” And that includes his access to food (blood, in their case). So we have the flashbacks that Joss Whedon includes throughout both Buffy and Angel and understanding that a vampire’s weight can fluctuate based on access to food – i.e they’re living somewhere they can wreak havoc and take as they please OR they’re on the run and starving and spreading meals out to last them as they travel. So I can make David Boreanaz’s weight gain make sense throughout each flashback as they roughly do work with that as a theme – sometimes they’re living lavishly and sometimes they’re tryna get by. But the consistent things is that Darla encouraging Angelus eating his way through Europe is obvs gonna have an impact on his weight, and honestly – in my head canon at least – she would be pleased by his figure changing and growing because its physical proof that her boy is successful. Then fast forward to the Curse. He loses the ability to eat people the way he once could, so naturally over the next 100 years he loses weight. (If you’re following the flashback eps and scenes too, in the 70s and 1940s he is heavier but this can be written off as access to food and the lifestyle that he was following at those times. 70s angel even SMILED at Barry Manilow playing on the dukebox and was going to concerts so I’m sure he was feeling well enough at that time to eat a bit more. And in the 40s he was likely drinking more too, which I can only assume is still calorific if you’re a Vamp, too). Then we have 90s Angel living with full depression and remorse – what happened in the 80s I don’t know – and is back to being the same weight he was before Darla turned him. Very slender and living off rats. We can assume the flashback in Orpheus with Faith is at the start of the 90s and he’s about to lose weight because of the lifestyle he’s living. Then as he begins his path to redemption and slowly reintegrates back into society and starts to put back on some of the weight he lost when he was at his lowest. By the time he’s in season 3 of Angel, and he’s gaining weight more noticeably, it makes so much sense to me because he’s found his family, and he’s comfortable in his life. The obviously season 5 is the biggest change, and this works for the flashbacks of that season too as the fanged four were living it up in hotels and eating as they pleased at that time. But in back in the 21st century, Angel being his heaviest in Season 5 obviously works because he has a deskjob now. But also, subconsciously, he’s in a period of his life where he has lost almost everyone he loves and he has to stretch himself and give so much of himself to everyone all the time that maybe subconsciously he needed a little extra comfort in the form of food AND it provided literally more of him to go around. Anyway – I could literally talk about Angel and body image all day long, and I’m sure you regret showing an interest in my thoughts on this now – but Angel is my comfort character and I love him in all iterations of his physical appearance, but I think Fat Angel is my favourite because he looks so sweet. That’s all!

stop self deprecating this is a masterpiece!! love it. love him. darla feederism kink real. uhm i want to rub his tummy and destroy his prostate squish his cheeks. teddy bear if u wil

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[watanabes-cum-dump]

So... I sort of made Michelangelo an IkeVamp character...

This is sort of hard to explain, but basically it’s from here where I was complaining about my homework and suddenly I had the idea to make Michelangelo an Ikemen Vampire character but not really since he’s gay. Anyways here are some HCs for him : 

- Internalized Homophobia™ 

- And religious trauma to boot!

- He still thinks that the church had the right idea at the time since what fucking choice did he have????

- Tries to hide his sexuality but everyone knows that he likes men

- He keeps denying it and of course, being in the closet for a hundred years because of your Internalized Homophobia™ isn’t good for you, so he’s also a depressed ass bitch. 

- Michelangelo is the gay kid who grew up in a toxic “catholic” environment and as a result never came out of the closet and hate crimes gay people because of what he was taught to believe

- He didn’t want to die, he felt like he had something to live for, so now he’s a vampire 

- People? Fuck them

- Ok ok ok it’s not that bad, but he still likes being alone 

- I like to think that Jean is like “Dude, you’re valid please don’t put yourself down” 

- And Michelangelo doesn’t fucking trust anyone so he just ignores the LITERAL SAINT who’s telling him that being gay isn’t a sin

- Anyways

- He really likes Leonardo

- Like not just romantically, a lot of artists looked up to him and his works, or the ones that he finished lol

- Though Michelangelo criticizes him a lot he still really respects him

- They were rival artists back in the renaissance actually, I like to think that they still have a bit of friendly competition now lol 

- But he doesn’t talk to him too much outside of those despite his admiration

- He is the one resident that Sebastian literally knows nothing about aside from things he’s heard back in his time 

- Which aren’t very vague, but it leaves a lot of unanswered questions

- MC would be able to get through to him probably, like, as a friend obvs. Michelangelo is very curious as to what has become of the future (and how history remembers him) so MC would probably be the first friend he’s had in a while

- If we’re talking about MC in Leo’s route then he’s play it off and pretend to be happy for them

- Since ya know he thinks that gays shouldn’t be happy

- Yes that includes himself

- If we’re talking MC not in Leo’s route, then things are different

- Michelangelo would want to be her wingman but knows nothing about the other residents having never really interacted with them a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- His route would be a platonic route where you half help him get over his trauma and half help him hook up with Leo

- He would essentially become MC’s big brother/holder of their last brain cell 

- He pretends not to care (not in an over the top tsundere way though, more in the way where he’s more likely to hurt your feelings by accident) but he REALLY FUCKING CARES 

Anyways here are some HCs of him with Leo since that’s like the only reason he exists lmao

- I feel like he’d still be kind of cold

- Just because he doesn’t know how to process his emotions

- Thank god Leo knows what he’s doing or else Angelo would NEVER make a move

- Cute little nicknames constantly thrown around

- Leo calls him angel a lot while Angelo just sticks with caro mia because he’s dumb

- For two renaissance geniuses they sure are fucking dumbasses 

- They paint each other, of course they do

- Usually it’s Angelo who does the painting or drawing (and even sculpting if they both have the time) since Leo is too busy with his fifty other talents to paint his boyfriend

- Now, I know what ya’ll are thinking 

- “Ate Kouryuu, but where’s the whore knee? Where’s the spice? They paint each other naked right?”

- And to that I will respond “Of course they paint each other naked. What the fuck is the point of gay renaissance artists if they don’t paint each other nude and leave it unfinished bc they started banging” 

- Ok I didn’t mention this before but you can probably tell with the pictures that Angelo has a cinched waist and legs so long he couldn’t fit on the cover of Vogue

- I’ll just leave that there for your imaginations ;)

- I’m joking we embrace the Horny™ here

- Of course Angelo’s the bottom, why wouldn’t he be? 

- Idk why but Leo seems like he has a high sex drive so good luck Angelo

- Leo is pretty much free to leave hickeys everywhere lol

- Angelo isn’t wearing it but he’s the guy that owns like eight identical turtlenecks so he can hide them and just say that it’s his fashion sense

- They’re like an old married couple, think like Macha Blossom. Yeah. 

- Constantly at each other's throats but they still love each other 

(such a shitty end to this post but I just wanted to get over with this) 

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 3

The Case of the Curious Clues

Before we start, a quick plea to Grant O’Brien: Please stop finding clues. I can only take notes so fast. You’re killing me Grant. Moving on...

We start off this episode with yet another flashback, this time to the final confrontation of Sly and his supposedly dead arch nemesis Fletcher Cottonbottom at Reichenbunny Falls (...Brennan please). Fletcher was using a local castle as a storage center for munitions but Sly tipped off the cops before they could be moved. They do some repartee back and forth before Fletcher, the madman, handcuffs them together and jumps off the edge. They hit the water but Sly is able to lockpick himself out and escape while Fletcher disappears beneath the waves. 

You know what I got from that story? No body.

Anyway, we jump back to the present where there *is* a body, Squire Badger’s specifically. Everyone in the room who isn’t a PC thinks that this must either be the work of ghosts or Mrs. M who was the only person in the room when it happened (allegedly). 

This is a crucial time for clue gathering and Brennan keeps everyone in initiative for investigative purposes. Now, *so much* stuff happens here that I’m not going to recap every single detail--just the major clues and the things that seem relevant. I’m serious, this is like the volume of info we usually get in the once per season later game lore dump ep but it’s episode THREE.

Daisy tries to find a secret door but critically fails. She clocks Gangie, a fellow criminal, and in the moment Rekha and Katie decide that they prob have worked together in the past even though they are very different kinds of criminals. 

Buck, who is outside listening to what’s going on in the room notices that his ankle knife is missing which is Concerning considering a man was just knifed to death. 

Sly has Lars guard the door (he opens it and Buck is discovered, whoops) and then rolls a NATURAL 20 plus NINE to investigate so Brennan just has to tell him literally everything. RIP to him and me. Anyway, here’s the rundown (along with some of the stuff other ppl got):

Mrs. M’s hands are covered in blood but she couldn’t have done it. Based on her personality for one and for other reasons we’ll get to.

The wound is much messier than it would be if a person stabbed themselves typically.

There is a note in Squire Badger’s handwriting that says “Sylvester Cross I am afraid” No indication of if that was the whole message or if he got interrupted (maybe Buck could figure it out with his handwriting checking skills). Daisy from across the room clocks that Sly’s name is written on the paper but can’t read the rest.

The knife is a hunting knife with a pronghorn handle--an animal not common in England but very common in Texas (and Buck is sweating obv).

There is a slight layer of charcoal type dust on everything on the big resolute desk in the room (which makes sense, ash from the fireplace) but there is parchment type dust on the bust of Barkus Aurelius (OK, that one’s good) on the table and that’s the only place that dust is. Ian later notices that the date on the bust is wrong. 

Speaking of, the desk (which we learn later was put in and taken out of storage once Loan Hall was modernized) is bolted to the ground and a lot of stuff has been thrown off it as if by a powerful force but Sly notices that it’s just the metal stuff like things made of silver or with screws. Stone things like the bust and other non-metal things have stayed put. Plus he smells ozone. This was the work of magnets, not ghosts, he concludes. And, for the record, Grant figured this out himself!

Mrs. M’s eyes are rapidly dilating. She is questioned about what happened and she says that she was told she was fired and would receive a small pension. 

(Not a part of Sly’s clue dump but Buck rolls a 24 with disadvantage to persuade everyone he didn’t do it but then 2 nat 1s in a row to see if Harding--who said he was standing outside the door--is suspect. Buck thinks he’s at most a stooge but he did roll a nat 1 so who knows?)

Anyway, back to Mrs. M. Gangie fully believes Mrs. M is innocent and scared. She doesn’t quite remember what happened for a couple of seconds in there and it’s clear this is not the first time she’s had missing time. Sly calls Longfoot (the bunny photographer) over to take a picture of Mrs. M which everyone is a little appalled at until they realize he’s making a point. When the flash goes off, she bugs out like she did in episode 1 and forgets that the picture was ever taken. Sly then has Dr. Magpie list the symptoms of epilepsy. It seems that Mrs. M had an episode triggered by the flash she mentioned seeing and then lost time. It’s possible that what she thought she saw after that she didn’t actually see.

[While Sly is monologuing this Rekha texts Brennan and gets a 17 to swipe the “I am afraid” note. Sly doesn’t notice.]

So if it wasn’t her, then who was it? There’s only one door into the study and anyone who walked in would have to have walked past Mr. Harding, Shellcrest, Calliope, and Tabitha (who is having a marvelous time being in the midst of so much drama). Ah, but who said there was only one door? Sly has Harding pull a sconce and a SECRET DOOR OPENS! Woo! Finally! It’s a classic bookshelf one that opens into the hallway and there is some extremely fine crushed glass under the door. Hmm.

Sly clocks that there is something under the desk but we don’t know what it is because Brennan texts it to him and it’s redacted. There are actually a couple of redacted texts that go around this ep so we are def missing information. 

OK, that’s more or less everything. 

Sly notices that the page is missing and Grant gasps while Rekha does an excellent job of pretending like she doesn’t even remember what paper is being talked about. Constance asks if it’s possible that Mrs. M totally made up the memory because of her epilepsy and between Dr. Magpie and Sly they determine that that’s uncommon but possible. Dr. Magpie says that everyone should leave so he and Sly can examine the body and Sly says that someone should watch Gangie at all times. 

At this point, Harding and Gilfoyle (the butler) say they should establish where everyone was at the time of the murder. A lot of the staff and guests have solid alibis cause they were in big groups/cleaning up together. But the PCs were off alone (or with each other) and had reasons to want to guy dead so they’re prime suspects. Sly even admits that he’s one too. Also everyone dogpiles Ian because Raph makes it so fun. 

Harding mentions the letter that was given to Buck (the one selling his shares in BB and giving voting writes to his rival Josiah) and asks him to read it. Buck reads it and gives a streamlined version of the truth, saying everything except for the part with the proxy vote. With a 26 he is able to allay everyone’s suspicions for now, but now he’s purposefully hidden the truth in a way that can be readily called out if anyone sees the letter or the contract which he resolves to find. 

Buster distracts the group so Daisy can “check the body for a pulse” aka: check the body for the contract. She doesn’t find a it but does find a key attached to a piece of red silk--something that would be weird for him to be carrying around instead of his valet. She figures this must open whatever locked drawer the contract is in and swipes it but Sly clocks her stealing it (his perception ties her sleathiness but an earlier Bless from Ian tips him over the edge--poetic).  

Calliope says that everyone is kinds suspect, including Sly, but *someone* has to solve this and Sly’s their best bet so everyone should just stay put and they can guard the exits. The butler says that, besides the front door, there are some towers that poke up above ground and a servant's exit/entrance by the elevator in the kitchen wing but they can lock down both and have someone guard the front doors. 

The butler is like, lmao yeah Sly I know you didn’t do it and I’m not gonna stand guard here but you know, everyone is keeping an eye on y’all. And then he leaves the PCs, Mrs. M, Constance, and Dr. Magpie in the room with the body. 

Lars is about to go watch the kitchen staff but, before he goes, Sly says to him that he saw Cottonbottom and is obviously quite scared. Gangie, who used to work for the guy, overhears and asks what’s going on. Sly assumes Gangie is playing coy but rolls high enough to know that he isn’t. He saw a starkly white Cottonbottom and one of his known conspirators doesn’t know he’s back? Perhaps it was a ghost after all. 

Case Notes

My 2 fave bits of this episode were “bad to bad bad bad” (and the further riffing) and Daisy throwing increasingly bigger books at Sly.

Even with a Nat 1, Sly gets a 16 on Investigation. Wild. 

I don’t think Rekha got enough props for her “Cross examination” line so I’m mentioning it here.

Brennan said the ozone question was still open--but I assumed it was like the electricity smell from an electromagnet. That would make sense, right? Maybe he meant they hadn’t found the source of it specifically yet?

Brennan says Buck’s knife is a pronghorn knife. I assume they’re made from the animal’s horns? Even if they’re the kind that fall off every season, is that weird? Or is it just like human hair wigs? Also, does this world have leather?

I love that the dice keep supporting the narrative that Daisy simply cannot get her shit together when she’s with Sly because he distracts her too much. Delicious. Their whole relationship is delicious. 

OK, I am a tiny bit suspicious of Calliope. It’s partially the way she took control of the situation near the end and partially the fact that she doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would be involved in this which would make her heel turn delicious. No hard evidence and obv she couldn’t be the person who actually stabbed a guy but idk. Just spitballing. I’m very curious about whether we’ve met everyone we’re going to meet more or less or if there are still outside people/hidden inside people. Because, in real life, a murderer could be literally anyone but in a story, you can’t just introduce a new villain all of a sudden at the end. Bad storytelling. Weak payoff. We’ll see how things start to pan out. 

[holyjareau]

imo, the show was often unilaterally focused on Piper, but only on what she could do for others (Piper the wife and Piper the mother) rather than who she was as a person. Piper's individual characterization was lost sometime around s5 as soon as she got pregnant, and being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series. I would be very interested to hear what you define as Piper's mental issues/trauma, bc as you say it doesn't get said enough

this has been in my inbox forever and i’m just getting around to it so my apologies.

but okay. so. yes. i think a lot of tv shows fall into this weird place where like. all of their characters begin with these kinda vague personalities because you’re just getting to know them. and as the show goes on, you pick up more pieces and stuff . and that’s great. that’s interesting and entertaining and it takes you on a journey and all. but often what happens is many shows fall into this pit where writers either get lazy, they change, or whatever, and the actors are tired of playing the part or whatever . and like. the characters become like. caricatures of themselves. and it just gets exhausting to watch because they’re not like. real people anymore.

Piper's individual characterization

so now for the charmed thing. so from the beginning. i have loved piper. like she’s the middle sister, overlooked, quiet, reserved, pessimistic but also realistic, gentle, thoughtful, all that. we see right away that she loves to cook .. she’s so happy her family is back together. she kept in touch with phoebe behind prue’s back. but she’s loyal to the both of them. her first idea was to have a reunion dinner when phoebe came home. she’s literally so cute n she deserves a hug. but no like. as we go on, we see that she wants to be good, she wants a stable life with no more loss, she Loves Love !! like. she wants to just be happy , open her own restaurant n just cook. she’s also so shy .. definitely panicky and anxious. and she doesn’t trust herself. she’s skeptical of everything, and she’s very thoughtful when it comes to big situations. even in the early days with leo and into season 2, she mentioned a few things about like “i’ve been thinking a lot about this...” and you can see she’s good at communicating with people. she’s also got these other dimensions to her like . she is interested in lots of cuisine types, she loves to read (and is a camus fan !!) , she drives a jeep (which i wanna know how she got bc i have questions), when she found out she was a witch her first thought was just . i need to go and see if i am still a good person . and she went to church. prue was surprised to learn that piper enjoys knitting. in the early seasons (especially mid-late season 3) we saw her with her plants and all. she’s just this natural peacekeeper. but like. we literally got a crying scene in the second episode because she was so conflicted about this. and she’s such a deep and complex character that i fell in love with so fast . and like . literally my favourite fictional character to exist . genuinely holly breathed so much life into piper . anyway . so. here’s the thing.

being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series

like. piper was who i described above. and like . i kinda think . a bit. that like . the writers . especially in s4 . were like . hmm well  . she’s just lost prue, she’s gonna be grieving . and like we need more for her. so. she’s been married to leo for the better part of a year, been with him for like . 3 years. so. let’s maybe consider giving them a kid but not just yet . just Content kinda stuff. so anyway they drop little hints in here and there starting in like . 4x07 i think? which . brain drain really paid the rent . fully just. holly did so well. but like. that ep was just. a neat way of looking into her mind and seeing the horrors of manipulation and gaslighting and everything . and of course holly knocked it out of the park. but at that point, they were kinda like . hmm . kids ? and they started toying with the idea, having piper and leo consider it, talk about it, they had paige and phoebe ask about it , all of that good stuff. as you do. made for some funny tv at some points. and like . i really, really Get It . when piper’s like . ahh the baby wouldn’t be safe around here !!!! like. Girl, Valid . your sister just died and like . you went on forever about how she was The Most Powerful One . The Strongest One . and yet she still died . so she’s like ??? am i next ?? and like obv it doesn’t make sense for her to jump on this train of like . i’m gonna have a kid !!!! so she’s really valid in her thought process there. and like. after having wyatt . i think the writers really . idk. couldn’t do waaay too much with her character anymore because i feel like . to an extent, anything she does will be scrutinized bc i’m not just . saying this . i rlly feel like sometimes piper’s the easiest to hate. like idk why but i loved her. but anyway. if she stays at home with wyatt and doesn’t wanna fight demons n all . then she’s selfish towards her sisters n she’s awful n prue wouldn’t have let her do that !!!! etc . but if she fought demons it’s like . uh sweetie you have a child . really ??? why put yourself in a situation that might have you ending up like patty 2.0 ... bc i could do a Whole post on how patty’s situation messed piper up the most. but anyway.

it’s the way i’m fully rambling so if you’re reading this . i love you . anyway okay . so . i think in a tv show you’ve gotta kinda check boxes. the best tv shows have characters you see yourself in . you relate to them. you hear them and understand their decisions and actions and thoughts. the things they do just makes sense 2 you. so like. with prue, anyone married to their job could relate to her. any oldest sibling could see themselves in her, you know ? she was hard-working, committed, logical, protective. and with phoebe, anyone who couldn’t “settle down” in their early 20s related 2 her, anyone who felt like the outcast of the family, the “screw-up” .. right. makes sense. she was so kind, caring, had-your-back kinda girl. we all love those. paige was like . the new kid, trying to fit in, creative, curious, and definitely a lifelong learner. and then there’s piper who was shy, resistant, really just wanted to be normal. and loved. and i think everyone could kinda identify with at least one of the sisters regardless of where you stood in your own family. so as the show went on, it’s like . they still want you to keep watching and keep being able to identify with them because it’s not like they’re humans with normal lives so they’ve already kinda lowkey got that going against them . so their more “human” and normal lives... we’ve gotta be able to identify with them to be able to invest time. so they had prue always working, having trouble balancing love and work, looking out for her family. we had phoebe kinda living her life, getting her career going, then kinda wanting a family. we had paige learning magic and being super interested and involved and then getting married. and we had piper who had her career pretty early on, got married, and had kids. like. i think the big thing is the marriage and kids. and when you’re a mother . the only mother really in the show, the show lowkey centres around you . like. for starters, the show usually is in the manor, and if you’re a mother, you’re very likely at home, esp with young kids. so i think that alone kinda was like . huh yeah . won’t see piper out waaay too much anymore i guess !!! but no like . there’s That. that’s kinda. the thing that really can’t change with the show . like. piper’s got kids now and a husband and very, very likely . her life will be centred around her home. which. listen she’s wanted that i think - the stability . she’s wanted that forever. and this is the form it came in. but i should stop rambling here and cut to the point .

Piper's mental issues/trauma

disclaimer: i’m not diagnosing her, i’m just speculating based off of my own experiences with mental health

so. okay. very early on. we saw that anxiety. like. yes . she was nervous about like a whole new life experience . or whatever we’re gonna call it when you figure out you’re a witch . but like she was Anxious . like. crying in the attic over being a bad person . needing phoebe to talk her down by telling her she’s such a caring person, she’s always doing things for other people . and then there’s the whole anxiety that comes with. my family’s falling apart because my sisters are fighting so i use really awkward methods of getting out of things . like using humour as a coping mechanism !!! which. gave us some iconic one-liners. but that’s beside the point . anyway. point is. early on, that anxiety was there. there’s an ep in season 1 where she’s literally entering a panic attack in her kitchen and phoebe’s using a menu to cool her down. like. Yikes! and then she’s just. her awkward self around everyone but that’s endearing and is just part of her personality . and i think a lot of the anxiety stemmed from childhood. we heard a few times about how prue and phoebe had boyfriends growing up, were always pretty and popular and all. phoebe was popular, too, just, in the other crowd. but nonetheless, piper faded into the background, doing well in math - well enough to go off and be a banker . and like. she sacrificed a lot for grams. she stayed in san francisco ... we all know the girl had the marks for stanford or something . like. though . still, i think she liked the stability of home and prob would’ve stayed . but in 3x17 she’s all !!! grams !!! the doctor said no caffeine !!! and when grams was taking the pic of them outside and she had an episode , piper was all !!!! shallow breaths !!! like. it was clear piper was the one taking her to the appointments and footing the bill. like. she literally became a banker just bc it had benefits n stuff. like. poor girl really thought . anyway that’s a whole spiral. but no. like she really sacrificed The Most for her family and everyone still thought she was selfish for wanting to move out . when like back then grams was literally ... sick ... and prue was out here moving out and phoebe was nowhere to be found . so. that . definitely would have added to her anxiety about even wanting to do anything for herself because she’ll be perceived as selfish in a heartbeat. even if it’s not Mean . it’s just. she’d never risk it. but there’s the anxiety. there are a few lil things here n there about how she gets nervous n stuff, she represses things (3x07 i think was where phoebe said piper represses her anger n just sucks it up n does whatever) . she literally cancelled her doctor’s appointment Twice . anyway. it still angers me. then in season 7 . patty and victor were like . oh she had night terrors that were so bad we took her to the doctor ! and i just ... honey . baby. she thought she caused the divorce. at 4? 5? she watched victor leave on her 5th birthday, watched a demon attack her, grams, and victor. prue said she didn’t cry at patty’s funeral and i’ll make a safe bet that piper did. and i think growing up without patty was strange for sure. prue had more memories and phoebe had none. and piper had fragments of this person everyone loved . and she was stuck between knowing her and not knowing her. and when patty was sent to her for her wedding day, (as well as in 1x17) . both times when patty hugged them . prue and phoebe hugged her, eyes closed n all. while piper was on the outside, eyes open . looking numb as all hell . and you know. i rlly think she was Giving Them That because phoebe didn’t get her and prue kinda . in a way. lost more of her . if that makes sense ?? and i just. patty really was like . they sent me to You. and 5 seconds later . piper’s like . they sent mom to Us !!! and it’s that idea of sacrifice and never having anything for yourself because she was never just . given anything for herself . everything in her life has been a sacrifice and as a mother, that’s perpetuated. she can assume that role with more of a purpose . like. people won’t really feel sorry for her now as the “forgotten” sister, they won’t try and coddle her or anything. and another thing. control. piper craved stability and control. i think while cooking was something she loved, it also gave her a lot of control . she could control her whole kitchen . even in season 8 .. maybe vaya con leos actually . leo mentioned how much piper craves control. and the control motif makes sense with her powers too. like. piper craved control so much that her powers allowed her to control things down to the atom. so there’s the whole anxiety and needing to control things to ease her anxiety and all. there’s That whole thing.

and then we get to the infamous season 5 fearless spell . ms girl really sat in the attic just writing everything on the wall and it’s the way i screenshotted it and like . zoomed in and tried deciphering it . and like . there’s words like “stop” and i think “sister” is in there a few times, so is “loss” or “lost”. when i watch it next i’ll grab a cap because it’s . disturbing. girl was so scared . literally was writing a spell to get rid of her fears . she also writes Fear . as in. capital F . and like. yeah that’s deep but i do it too like i emphasize words with a capital letter . and like holly marie combs might just have quirky n fun writing but like ... capital F . for Fear. for real . that’s . trauma !!! and she also was having panic attacks at the beginning of season 5. let’s not forget those. which ... we should’ve gotten more of an explanation for . i hope that girl is getting help bc she was Going Through It . and in season 7 when zankou reads her diary . firstly. we Knew this girl kept a diary like . for Sure . she did. and just that little excerpt of when prue died . oops. i’d pay big money to see the rest because again i just think she’s got such a complex mind and like. i’d be so interested to read that. and i think everything re: prue is just Awful for her. like . idk if this is just something quirky i noticed but obv we know prue died in may 2001 . but at the end of 4x03, when piper goes 2 paige’s work 2 bring her muffins !! soft !!! the calendar on one of the desks reads july 2001 ... and i really just. ms girl. i Know they prob just filmed the ep in july but it honestly tracks that she’d be so awfully upset about everything and just . barely able to do anything but cook . for 2 months. like. honey. baby. i wanted 2 just cuddle her bc she was so sad. and like. she tells paige she’s having “good hours” and “not so good hours” . she’s going by the Hour . by the Hour . just. need i say more . i’m so . but no like. if anything like i could see her having like . depression where she’s high-functioning and like just . walking depression i guess ?? like . not even after prue. i think in general. like . she definitely has a melancholic temperament and a type 6 enneagram (the skeptic). that’s For Sure . but i think. just. she’s always just had time to think bc she’s always alone, reading, knitting, cooking, tending to her plants, all that. and i just . think. she has issues. and i think prue knew that. of all people. and i think her knowing that . and then dying. destroyed piper. she lost the last person that was truly a constant in her life . like they shared a roof over their heads forever. and then she was just . gone . and piper was suddenly left to pick up the pieces . and become the oldest sister . and i’m So glad she didn’t fully assume her personality. i’m glad she stayed as piper . just. she’s more cynical and snarky and defensive and cold and that’s okay. she’s hurting. she’s always gonna hurt . and i think it makes her human . she’s pessimistic and sad and has a short fuse at times . but just. again. i love her to bits and i think those issues make her more relatable for me. because while many like to say she became selfish and a negative person and just . awful to be around . i’d say the opposite . i won’t sit and apologize or justify things. also i don’t think piper’s done anything wrong . i just think she’s hurt. she’s been wronged so many times. and she’s .... scared. i think she’s scared . and in season 5 “sympathy for the demon” we learn her true biggest fear is her happiness being stolen away. and like . it’s not that she’s scared she won’t be happy. she’s scared all of the good she’s got will be taken from her . and that’s . terrifying . so . i see why she’s so snarky and bitter and tired and all . she’s terrified of things being taken from her like they have been her whole life. and as i watch the show i really like to just keep that in mind as i get further and further in because yes. she did become a mother and a wife and we saw her arguing with leo a lot and their marriage falling apart and That Whole Era . we saw how it kind of took over her life but i think it happens . i think she even said at one point . i’ve been so many things to so many people, i don’t know who i am anymore . and i think it sums her up perfectly. she doesn’t know who she is because she’s someone to everyone . she’s just. nobody to herself except this scared little girl who just wants Something . Anything . to make sense . some Stability . and her babies, her husband, and her sisters . are all she has for that idea of stability to make sense in her mind. and it was an easy hole to fall into - the Mother - but i think she jumped in. because at the Very Least . nobody could take that title away from her . regardless of how hard they tried .

[thatesqcrush]

The Wedding

Rafael Barba x Reader. For kink bingo: voyeurism. CW: male masturbation. NSFW, obvs. WC: 2145. 

--

“Are you sure you know where you are going?” Rafael replied, staring at the road ahead of you.

“Yes, Rafael – I know where I am going. And besides, Alexa…” You replied, with an annoyed huff. Alexa chimed in to make a turn and you shifted the turn signal on.

“We’re going to be late.” Rafael muttered. You glanced at Rafael quickly, before looking back at the road.

“We’re going to be fine.” You replied in a sing song voice, trying to not get any more irritated. “Right on time.”

“I’m the best man – I am Carisi’s best man. I am going to be late.”

“I know you’re Carisi’s best man. We are 5 miles away. Fifteen minutes tops. They’re not going to start without us.”

“That’s if you’re the bride! Or the groom!” Rafael replied exasperated. He stared out the passenger side, a mixture of yellow, gold, copper, red, burgundy, and orange leaves whirring past him. “I still need to drop off my things at the farmhouse.”

You ignored him. “It’s leaf peeping season here in New York. Did you know that? I never understood that but now, coming up here – I get it. It’s so beautiful. I would totally do this with someone…” you trailed off.

You focused on the road ahead. Internally you were swearing up and down. You didn’t mean to be running behind to Amanda and Sonny’s wedding. Originally you were planning on taking the train but then planned track work derailed – literally and figuratively – that plan. So you decided to drive – and because driving to new places gave you anxiety, you decided to give yourself an extra hour of wiggle room. That hour was shot to shit when Rafael called about his rental not showing up. And then you had made a wrong turn and traffic had built up earlier on which further set you back

Now Rafael was blathering in your ear about how you were making him late. Had this been any other person, you would have torn them a new one – you hated being barked at while driving – it made you more anxious and tense. Which was surprising considering the line of work you were in. You were a detective, second grade with Special Victims. This was your pet peeve. And because you had a crush on Rafael from the moment you started, you let this – him griping at you, slide. When you first began to work at SVU, you were instantly taken by the handsome prosecutor. He was intelligent, fashionably sensitive, and his sassy one-liners always made you chuckle. He also cared for the victims and it was his passion for both the victim and the law – taking on cases no one else dared to, made you fall for him that much more. ‘Does Rafael knew how handsome he is?’ you wondered as you waited for the traffic light to change. You snapped out of your reverie and gave Rafael a pleading look.

“Rafael – ten minutes. Just give me ten. We will be there.” You let out a deep exhale and pressed your foot on the gas pedal a little heavier.

--

The wedding venue – a repurposed barn in upstate New York - was unique and versatile, rustic yet chic. The ceremony took place on the manicured paddock, cocktail hour took place on the lawn and then dinner and dancing took place in the barn itself. For those guests not into dancing, they relaxed with their drinks and desserts by the fire pit.

You watched Amanda and Sonny dance with Jessie and Billie. The little family was all smiles. Earlier in the day, it had been unseasonably warm but by nightfall there was a small chill. You wrapped your shawl around your shoulders and rubbed the tops of your arms. Rafael was sitting by the fire pit, finishing off his drink. He sat forward, his shoulders slumped. You made way to the bar and nabbed two beers before making way outside.

“Hey there counselor. Enjoying yourself?”

Rafael smiled when he saw you and moved over on the bench he was sitting, to make space for you. You murmured a thanks and then handed him a beer.

“Thanks, Y/N.” Rafael replied. “Salud.”

You clinked your bottle with his. “Cheers.” You took a long drag of your beer, watching as the flames danced in front of you.

Despite the roar of the ongoing party, you could hear the sound of crickets chirping and it was soothing. The string quartet began to play “Can’t Help Falling In Love” and you looked wistfully at the dancefloor laid out on the grass.

“Do you dance Rafael?” You asked.

Rafael perked up. He stood up and put his drink down and then reached for your hand. You took another swig of your beer, neatly folded your shawl and then put your beer down before taking his hand. Rafael led you to the dance floor. You wrapped your arms around his neck while his hands gripped your hips.

“You’re quite the dancer Mr. Barba.” You complimented. The combination of his solid body against yours mixed with his cologne made you feel intoxicated and warm. Rafael hummed his appreciation and in response drew you closer to him.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. I was just anxious about getting here.” Rafael apologized. You pulled back and saw the sincerity in his eyes.

You shook your head and waved him off. “It’s fine – we were running late – shit happens. I was anxious too. I mean we made it, didn’t we? Yes by the skin of our teeth, but we made it.”

“No, I was out of line.” Rafael replied. “I should have just said thank you for the ride. The last thing I would want is to have you be upset with me.”

“Really? And why’s that?” You asked, curious and ever hopeful, searching his eyes.

Rafael cleared his thought, his throat suddenly dry as he racked his brain as to what to say. “Because it would make the ride back to the city super awkward.” He lied. Rafael turned his head, unable to meet your eyes. And in turn, missed the disappointed look on your face. In reality, he was completely fascinated with you. And he had been since he first met you a year and a half ago when you joined SVU.  You had made your own lateral move to SVU, transferring over from white collar crimes. Rafael would watch you out of the corner of his eye, admiring your intelligence and quick wit. You showed empathy for the victims. You had a keen sense of skirting the law but were always able to maintain its integrity. A lot of the time, you drove him – and sometimes your commander – ostensibly crazy. To top it off, you were beautiful. Whenever he was in close quarters with you, he felt enchanted, like a moth to a flame. But you were also fourteen years his junior and he was certain the feeling was not mutual. ‘Why be with me, basically a viejo with commitment issues when you could be with someone younger who was more handsome and could offer you the world.’ He would bitterly think on more than one occassion.

You both continued dancing and you closed your eyes, lost in the play pretend that there was more between you and Rafael. ‘The detective and the lawyer.’ You snorted to yourself – ‘sounds like a cheesy Harlequin romance novel. You then imagined Rafael bare chested with his leg propped on a rock and you snorted again. Rafael looked over at you, his brow cocked and you felt your cheeks burn. “You look very handsome today.” You replied in an attempt to change the subject.

“Thank you. So do you.” Rafael replied. And to him, you did in your mint floral maxi dress with a lace-up crisscross bodice. He wasn’t used to seeing you so dressed up and when you came to pick him up with a full face of makeup on, he damn near came in his pants right there on the corner of 85th and Lexington Avenue.  The song overlapped into the next and soon two songs became three, then four. Some picked up in beat and by the end, you were both hot, sweaty and out of breath. Your hair, which had been pinned up, had fallen. His eyes tracked a single bead of sweat as it dripped down your collarbone and down your chest, finally landing in between the swell of your breasts. He swallowed hard trying hard to ignore how his cock twitched against his pants.

“I think I am going to get another drink.” Rafael replied. “Do you want one?” You nodded in response and watched him take off. You bit your lip - ‘damn that ass looks good in a tux.’ 

“Are you going to make your move tonight? You should.” A voice interrupted your thoughts.

You looked over at the bride who joined you. “Do you want to die on your wedding day? I mean that’s awfully macabre.”

“I swear on my babies, that man is in love with you. And I know you have some feelings for… what did you say? Oh, that’s right! The one with the gleaming crystal eyes and the mouth that looks like it just finished eating a peach.” Amanda winked.

“I said no such – oh who I am kidding. I said that.” You sighed. “I don’t know. What if he rejects me? That ride home will be so awful.”

“If he does that, then it’s a good thing you’re at a wedding full of cops. We know how to bury bodies and get rid of the evidence.” Amanda replied. “But seriously – make the move.”

--

You hiked up your dress and looked all over for Rafael. He went to the bar – he should have been back by now. The venue was large and people were still milling about. You spotted Sonny, who was carrying a sleeping Billie in his arms.

“Sonny! Have you seen Rafael?” You asked.

“He went to the farmhouse to check his phone or something. Something about checking on a filing. You know how he is – work, work, work. Did you see Amanda?”

“Over that way – thanks.” You pointed behind you. You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Congratulations again.”

“Thanks – and thanks for coming. So glad you were able to make it.” Sonny replied.

You nodded and continued walking towards the farmhouse which wasn’t that far off from the events venue. The farmhouse was quiet and almost eerie. Your heels made an obscene sound against the hardwood floor and you paused to remove them. “Rafael?” You called out. No answer.

A light from down the hall caught your eye and you made your way down. The door was open a crack and what you saw, made you pause.

Rafael was sitting on a bed, his cock jutting out of his tuxedo and he was masturbating furiously.

Rafael pumped and stroked himself rhythmically. He squeezed at the base with every downstroke of him fucking his fist. Rafael let his thumb glide across the head of straining cock, smearing pre-cum. Rafael released himself and spit into his hand before resuming his movements, now stroking faster. He let out a moan and you were stunned to hear your name escape his lips. Desire pooled in your belly and you felt a delicious ache develop in between your legs. You wanted to so badly to hike up your dress and touch yourself to relieve that sweet ache but you couldn’t. Instead you watched, utterly transfixed at Rafael masturbating. About you. You were his fantasy plaything. Your nipples strained at the confines of your dress and you reached up to cup one. You could feel your arousal grow in intensity – if you weren’t wet before, you were now – you were positively soaked.

Rafael moaned your name as his hips bucked; his balls began to feel heavy and that familiar coil in his gut began to emerge, signaling his need for release. Rafael began to stroke himself feverishly, working faster and faster. “Oh fuck Y/N, take that cock – let me fill you up with my come.” Rafael made noises of a man who had been denied for far too long. You bit down on your bottom lip to avoid gasping and you winced as the taste of blood filled your mouth.  Rafael continued to stroke himself, cupping a hand in front of him, and you realized that he was about to come.

You take a step back and the floor creaked and you silently curse. You peeked through again and you met Rafael’s eyes from where he is sitting. He looked completely aghast at having been caught.

You smirked, and opened the door wider, taking a step in. You turned to shut the door behind you and you made certain to lock it. Turning towards Rafael, you begin to slip off your dress.

“How about you give me a ride as a thanks for earlier?”

FIN.

--

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[haosvteen]

svt reaction to their s/o teasing them on a busy workday and they get turned on... im intrigued to hear your thoughts

a/n: thank you for requesting this was actually really fun to do :) i did it kind of like their s/o sent them an nsfw picture while they’re at work, i hope that’s okay!!

**disclaimer: this is just my opinion! obviously i don’t know seventeen personally, this is just for fun :)

seungcheol

a blushing mess!!!

i can imagine him expecting the message to be something normal

but then he opens it before a meeting and.....

game over

expect lots of texts like “why did you send this!!! i’m at work!!! i’m not complaining but...what am i supposed to do now >:(”

and you just smile to yourself because you know you’re going to geeeet it later (if you know what i mean)

jeonghan

omg hannie

he’d do that curious face he does where he just cocks one eyebrow

witH HIS TONGUE IN HIS CHEEK

WITH A SLIGHT SMIRK

obvs he would take a moment to admire you

and in his head he’d be like “oh? we’re playing this game today? alright”

then he’d prepare to sext you for the rest of the workday

why can i imagine him getting hard and trying to hide it AH

joshua

oh my goodness

i’m giggling 

why do i feel like he’d respond to your nsfw pic and be like

“oh hell yeah, let’s get ittttt”

(la josh is out to play)

i can see him being super antsy and fidgety for the rest of the day at work

because he just wants to get home to you

i think he possibly would tell his boss “i’m not feeling so good, i think i need to go home :(”

just so he can come to you

jun

this boy

is so sweet

like he’d be so happy he got a text from you while he was at work

his day = made, even though he doesn’t even know what it is

then he’d open it

and get so embarrassed

he would totally text you back and be like “so pretty :)”

just to end it there so he doesn’t get even more bothered than he already is

and you’re just like “hello??? gimme more”

no worries, you get more once he comes home from work that night

soonyoung

at first, he’d be very giggly

and everyone would ask him what’s wrong??? and he’d just brush them off

then he’d be serious and respond with such a heartfelt message 

like “hello my love, thank you for taking time out of your day to send me this, it helped brighten my mood a lot! i can’t wait to see you later tonight :) how has your day been??”

why is he the cutest

wonwoo

i am laughing so hard

he’d open your text and see what you sent

and immediately like put his phone to his chest to hide the screen

and look around to make sure no one saw

he’d take a moment to compose himself because he was not expecting that

then he’d send

“please don’t send this while i’m at work🙂”

and he’d have to go the rest of the day thinking about you oops

jihoon

ah, jihoonie

i feel like he’d see your message you sent and love it (like you can on message ya know)

then put his phone away

because he knows that if he engages anymore, he literally will not be able to get any work done at all

so he’d want to be responsible and just remove the distraction (even though you’re all that is going through his mind and he still can’t get his work done)

expect him to immediately get down to business when he gets home though

seokmin

the smiliest boy ever!!!!

he’d get the pic from you

and after sending you a big long message about how beautiful you are

he'd just be smiling the rest of the day

because he’s so happy that you’re his and he just feels so lucky

and also because he knows you two are about to have a great night when he gets home

when people ask why he’s in such good mood he’d say “oh nothing, i just have a fun night planned”

AH I SCREAMED OMG SEOK!!!!

mingyu

he’d be in shock

because!!!

he can’t believe you’d send that!!!

you know he’s at work what are you doing!!!

i feel like he’d message you back and be like “hey :/ you’re hot as fuck, but now i just don’t feel like working :/”

so you fully take that as an invitation to send more

and he just kind of hangs out at his desk doodling and waiting for another text from you

minghao

why do i feel...

like he would nonchalantly check your message and see your nsfw pic

and just be like “you’re so beautiful” because he was really engrossed in his work

and typically it’d end at that

but sometimes...

he just wouldn’t be able to get the image of you out of his mind

so he’d work extra fast

wouldn’t even bother to double-check things

skip his lunch break

just so he could come do the things to you he’d been fantasizing about all-day

seungkwan

the pure look of shock on seungkwan’s face....

indescribable

he really wouldn’t even know what to say

i feel like he’d message you and be like “why did you send this?? i’m trying to work?? please i love you but just hold off for like an hour so i can try to get this stuff done”

but in reality, he wouldn’t even be doing any work, he’d just be staring at the pic of you with his brightness on the lowest setting :,)

vernon

this boy omg

i feel like he’d see what you sent 

and just freeze

like wouldn’t know what to do

then he’d text you back and be like “why’d you send this lol?? i’m at work”

but he’d rethink

and double text saying “actually send more lol i need something to get me through this day”

AH i love him

chan

GIGGLE MACHINE

boy would be trying so hard to keep it in

but he’d be giggling because he’s just like “omg!!! i can’t believe they did this!”

BAHAHA one of his coworkers would be like “hey, what’s so funny?”

and he would get so serious and be like “oh nothing, sorry i was just...thinking of something funny that happen the other day sorry bye”

but i think that he would get very fidgety and just like ready to be home with you

but he’d try to power through and complete all of his work with you as his motivation and reward

masterlist

[woogurl]

I'm curious why you think woo is bi, I'm not sure what he is I'm just curious why you think he is.

since i’ve already mentioned why i think woo’s into girls i’ll touch on why i think he’s also into boiiiisss. 

woo’s touchiness with the members doesn’t actually convince me that he’s bi there’s just particular moments that are outright sus and other moments that are subtle but also very sus to me. i’ve mentioned that i do believe woo was touching san inappropriately during that escape woosan vlive. 

san repeatedly tells woo to stop rubbing this entire vlive. san said that woo was rubbing his face but yeah like i said before in the full analysis of this vlive. it doesn’t make sense. why would it bother san so much. if he was just rubbing his face. lol. i also don’t think woo was rubbing san’s face just doesn’t make sense to me. the clear indicator for all this is at 27:40.

san is holding his breath, hitting woo and lit yelled his name. afterwards he asked woo if he wanted him to tell. like tell what? and woo’s immediately like ‘no’.

i don’t know how many straight guys would playfully rub another guys dck. xD 

this moment where woo is very clearly attempting to seduce san. i mean just look at the way san’s looking at him. woo knows 100% what he’s doing. 

these moments where woo let’s san backhug him, but i would like to note how comfortable woo is with san having his dck nearly planted against his butt. i don’t know how many straight men would be comfortable with having another man’s dck that close to his butt. lol. there’s literally any room. w rfbsdnklwsvd. 

so i tried to find the full moment of the clip, but i just don’t have the time. i’m sure you could find it on woosan_tr there’s two of these clips one where san pulls woo back and another where woo himself pushes back against san. i’m sure woo does this purposefully and san looks at woo’s butt afterwards when they leave which it makes it more obv that woo pushed his butt against san. woo has subtlely/playfully presented his butt before to san and we were just talking about a moment from idol radio a day ago. lol. 

one of the more obvious moments are the valentine interview, to me that’s just not body language between two friends who solely have a platonic relationship.

this isn’t really supposed to be long, but bvrwjf jsd. anyway, from these moments alone you can def tell that san is physically attracted to woo. there’s more moments of san, but this is about woo. the biggest indicator for me is how close woo is to san i’m convinced san is into men because he’s certainly shown interest in men, specifically woo. 

if woo was in anyway uncomfortable with how san was, especially towards him he would not be so comfortable around san, nor would he be this physical with him. but he’s the MOST comfortable being this physical around san. woo is physical with the other members as well, but not to this degree and it’s because it makes them uncomfortable. which is why both woo and san direct their touchiness with each other. woo’s incredibly close to san, and they spend a lot of time together outside the cameras.

this is basically what makes me the most sus about woo, his relationship with san. is much more different than the other members yet they’re all close. and yeosang is even his bestfriend. but his relationship with san is the mos def. and even an outsider can see that.

you have to remember that there’s still so much we don’t see on camera. so that’s basically my opinion. ;D

[luuxxart]

Hey! What’s your take on Ness and Paula’s relationship? The same goes for Jeff and Tony. It’s just that ik you ship Nesspaula and Jefftony and I’m curious on what you have in mind for them.

Heyo!! sorry this took so long to get to! I’ve had a pretty busy couple of days lol

I’m just gonna go ahead and do that little couple meme for them! It’s hard to really describe how I feel abt them in words bc I haven’t really written a whole lot w them yet. I have everything plotted out thoughh

Keep in mind in my version of the Chosen 4 & Tony they’re 18+ because Im not writing for preteens :/ that is like one of the Most Unappealing things to me ever.

Notes on the Meme:

I forgot what level of thickness I drew Ness and Paula’s outlines w and just went w a regular 2.0 for Jeff and Tony,,,,, oops

My version of Ness is a quarter Japanese on his dad’s side, which is why his last name is Doi. (also ninten doi obv lol)

((and just for shits and giggles I might as well mention that he also has Russian ancestry on his mom’s side bc I thought Ana Telekenov was a fun name))

Charcot comes from Jean Martin Charcot, an inspiration of Sigmund Freud and an important neurologist

I always was confused as to if Paula’s last name is Jones or Polestar, so I think it would be cute if Ness called her “Paula Polestar” as a pet name

He’s also your regular old high school dude bro so you know all of his friends have weird names too (so far I’ve planned Zippo and Ringo at least)

The C. stands for Coffee, probably. Or at least, that’s what Ness thinks. I’ll leave the real answer up to you

Faraday comes from Michael Faraday, who studied electromagnetism

He doesn’t have a middle name

He’s one of those guys lmao

(maybe he’ll pull a Harry S Truman later and just pretend to have one)

Tony isn’t a little spoon so much as he is a spatula

I feel like Tony’s super high jealousy level is popular fanon but at the same time I don’t know where it came from. Idk if there’s anything in canon to support it either????? But anyway I feel very strongly about this one

Ness is super high key jealous bc,,,,, plot point i Wanna do in Fourside

Notes on the Story:

Ness and Paula have been communicating telepathically since they’ve been around 15 and only started getting flirtatious around the onset of the adventure (just before the meteor crash)

They get together @ Restful Peace Valley

Jeff and Tony started dating their first year in college

And they were roomates

Yeah I don’t know how to explain the fact that they’d still all wear the same uniform while being in college but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And even though Tony usually initiates things they both end up proposing at the same time the first time Ness, Paula, and Jeff go back to Winters

This probably says more about them than anything but

Ness and Paula have The Beatles

and Jeff and Tony have Queen

[birbleafs]

[fic] A Much Ado About (PSI)oulmates

Series: Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan || The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Rating: T Genre: Humour, Breaking The Fourth Wall Character(s): Saiki Kusuo, Aiura Mikoto, Satou Hiroshi, Akechi Touma, Toritsuka Reita Warnings: None, save for canon-typical shenanigans Summary:  Aiura decides to combine her divination abilities with Kusuo’s powers for a super special comedic segment on Affinity Levels. Fic can also be read on AO3 _______

Excerpt taken from clairvoyant Dame Mata-Mata’s advert for Amazing Psychic Services:

99.9% accurate affinity readings and guaranteed life-long happiness! Discover your twin flame with as little 10,000 yen per hour! Some would say it’s foolish to risk your future and wallet on such clandestine offerings, but we assure you, we are no worse than the underhanded brand marketing on children’s television series! Call 1800-TWINFLAMES -1234567 to book a reading today!!

***

Anyone who would believe such clandestine and shady offerings isn’t just a fool but a complete buffoon, Kusuo scoffs impassively at the flyer before him. This is definitely worse than the underhanded brand marketing on children’s TV shows.

“They’re a total noob at it, fer sure!” Aiura says, leaning in too close and posing next to Kusuo as she takes a wefie with her phone. “Like sure, the concept of twin flames and soulmates ain’t new, but to claim everyone has half a soul yearning to get jiggy with its other missing half for life-long bliss is like, a gross oversimplification.” I don’t really care to be honest, Kusuo deadpans. He stares sullenly at how Aiura’s arm is still wrapped around his; she offers him a cheeky grin and a peace sign, snapping yet another wefie before she finally slides away to the opposite seat. “Soulmates just have more natural affinity for each other,” Aiura says, batting her eyelashes at him coyly. “But just like with everything, it doesn’t mean you don’t need to put in any effort to make it work! Hey, speaking of which—the author has a super special birthday tradition where she writes and/or posts up a new story, so this fanfic can totally be about Affinity Meters, right?!” Don’t know what you’re going on about and still don’t actually care, Kusuo retorts, shoving a spoonful of coffee jelly into his mouth as he resolutely tries to enjoy his Sunday afternoon. But Aiura persists, easily breaking the fourth wall to elaborate further: “Just like how Kusuo can use the Affection Meter to quantify a person’s love for another, today we’ll combine Kusuo’s telepathy and my own divination abilities to measure soulmate compatibility via Affinity Levels! So, without further ado, let’s go, let’s goooo!” Aiura, no, Kusuo groans in quiet despair. “Miko-chan, YES!” Aiura whoops, fist-pumping the prologue away as the scene fades out. _______

i.

Satou Hiroshi

Conventional. Moderate. Regular. Behold the quintessential stock background character, the pinnacle of normality—Satou Hiroshi. Standing at a height of 169.9 centimeters and weighing at precisely 61.0 kilograms—the exact national average of a healthy sixteen-year-old Japanese male—he is the gold standard, the epitome of normal. It’s a shame then that few recognize Satou-kun’s remarkable ordinariness, Kusuo muses, watching said background character ambling down the sidewalk with an approving smile. Nevertheless, perhaps that may be to my benefit. Surely our Affinity Levels must be pretty high; after all, we’re both normal and regular high-school teens who do not stand out much— “I don’t think using your powers to make yourself inconspicuous counts though,” Aiura says as she glances over Kusuo’s shoulder, puzzled at his fixation on someone so… well, boring. Kusuo isn’t even listening. We both have regular aspirations and hobbies, seeking only to live peaceful days! “Funnily, I now remember peeking at Normal-kun’s fortune for Hii-chan. And get this, his biggest dream is being on stage as a rock star! Like seriously, how typical can he get?” —So, taking into consideration all of the above, Kusuo presses on, undeterred by Aiura’s commentary, surely we would hit it off as friends with optimal affinity levels! “Uhm, Kusuo?” Aiura nudges him with her elbow, pointing at the meter hovering beside them. “Not to be a wet blanket and all, but the Affinity Meter started running again as you were waxing lyrical earlier, so now it’s showing that Normal-kun and your Affinity Levels are like, really just two stars at best.” She leans forward, squinting at the screen. “Simply because he thinks you’re okay but still a bit of a weirdo. Dayum, the nerve of this twerp!” Kusuo stares wordlessly at her for a beat, slack-jawed. A-Ahyuu…?

Affinity Level: ☆☆ _______

 ii.

Akechi Touma

“It pains me to have to do this,” Aiura lets out a dramatic sigh. “But since Childhood Friends is a pretty popular trope in animanga, and therefore in fanfiction, I guess there’s no avoiding it.” Kusuo scowls, not liking where this is heading at all. It can totally be avoided. We can just avoid talking about it altogether. “Is that you, Kusuo-kun?” Akechi says as he suddenly appears at Kusuo’s side, curiosity in his eyes. “Oh, I see Aiura-san is here as well. I couldn’t help but notice how you two were standing and talking together so I thought I should come say hello, even though I was rather hesitant at first. I didn’t want to abruptly barge into your conversation, you see, as that would have been awfully rude, and I certainly don’t wish for you to think of me as rude, Kusuo-kun.” Yet here you are barging in anyway, blathering on incessantly like a runaway freight train, Kusuo remarks drily. “Well, I couldn’t help but overhear the mention of Affinity Levels,” Akeichi beams as he continues, unfazed by the jibe. “And I can’t say my curiosity isn’t the least bit piqued, even if I have little to no real interest or belief in the notion of soulmates. In fact, the existence of an actual soul remains debatable in scientific circles—” Exasperated, Aiura tries to interject. “Since you ain’t all that interested, mind if you just zip those lips for like five minutes? My hair’s gone all frizzy from the heat of your endless jabbering!” “However, these debates on the existence of the soul had also been instrumental to the understanding of the anatomy and physiology of the human body—” “Oh my God, please just stop yapping for ONE sec—!!” Aiura shrieks, tugging at her curls in frustration. She accidentally kicks the Affinity Meter to start running, and the lights blink and flash in a rapid blur before the meter gradually slows down to display four bright stars upon its screen. There’s a beat; the trio leans forward, staring at the meter in awkward silence. Kusuo’s brows are furrowed at the unexpected results; he shrugs it off as a fluke. Clearly there’s some technical issue with Affinity Meter (never mind that the meter works, in part, based on Aiura’s divination abilities, which have, to date, always been accurate). There’s just no way Akechi could ever beat Satou-kun on that scale, he’s too much of an abnormal— But Aiura is already moving forward, reaching out to grasp Akechi’s hand in a firm handshake. “Aiura-san? Is there something…?” She acknowledges Akechi’s curious gaze with a curt nod. “All right, I can’t deny it any longer. Not with that impressive detective aura of yours and with results like that on both Kusuo and my own Affinity Meter.” Oi, oi. Don’t start spouting weird nonsense now, Miss Abnormal! “All right, Akeinu! I hereby deem you a worthy rival in the fight to stand as Kusuo’s trusted sidekick!” “Oho! You’ve even given me a cutesy nickname as acknowledgment! I must say I’m quite flattered, Aiura-san.” How about I side-kick both of you out of my life right now? Kusuo sighs, mildly perturbed by this unexpected turn of events.

Affinity Level: ☆☆☆☆ _______

iii.

Toritsuka Reita

…… …… …… What, did you seriously think Toritsuka was getting a proper scene? He’s already way too pathetic. NEXT— “W-wait, did you just cut my scene?!” Toritsuka shrieks from the void like a headless chicken. “Don’t just write me off, Saiki-saaan!!” —Saiki exits stage left, pursuing normalcy. “And don’t just narrate yourself out!!”

Affinity Level: N.A. _______

iv. Aiura Mikoto

“At first glance, you might think we make for an odd couple,” Aiura says with a coquettish smile. “And how it seems absolutely cray that we could get along. Or like, that we don’t mesh just ‘cause our personalities clash way too much or somethin’.” She chuckles at the notion, running perfectly manicured nails through her luscious locks. “I mean, it’s obvs only those inexperienced with the inner workings of the heart would think that. Because opposites attract, y’know? It’s the push-pull dynamism between us that spices things up! Like two tango dancers stirring up a flame on the dance floor—it keeps things refreshing and exciting, but still comforting and familiar in the end, like sharing a nice, warm bath at the end of the day, or cuddling up together at the sofa, feeding each other spoons of dessert…” Aiura pauses, blushing when she catches sight of the Affinity Meter fluttering gently by her shoulder, at the line of stars glowing from the screen, a beacon of reassurance of their status as soulmates. She turns towards Kusuo, suddenly self-conscious as she tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Say, Kusuo… How about we head to that nice dessert buffet together and—” Only to realize she had been practically talking to thin air all this time. “H-Huh?! Aww, gimme a break! Where did you run off to this time, Kusuooo?!”

Affinity Level: ☆☆☆☆☆ _______ v.

Coffee Jelly

Good grief—finally some peace and quiet. Kusuo sighs as he leans back into the leather seat of his booth, in a nondescript cafe far away from his usual annoyances. He dips a spoon into his dessert bowl, lifting a dark sliver of coffee jelly to his mouth, and smiles in absolute contentment. There’s a soft whirr, and then a ping from somewhere below. He flicks a furtive gaze at the Affinity Meter hovering at the empty space beside him, curious despite himself. The endless line of glowing stars are probably a bit much, but he smiles anyway at the screen. Huh. I guess it works after all.

Affinity Level: ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

—End— _______ Notes:

It’s tradition for myself to spend my birthday writing and/or sharing a new fic (happy birthday to me!! lol). I also had this sitting in my draft for way too long and decided to kick myself to finish it. Apologies for any typoes/errors.

Comments and critique are always welcomed for my fics—I'd like to hear what you think, if you've enjoyed this! Thanks for reading :)

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

here’s some stuff that happened to harry between the end of the war and seeing draco again in moonrise

-he gave kreacher all the money sirius left to him, and tried to give him grimmauld place but kreacher didn’t want the house; for a while they lived together like roommates, and then kreacher went to live with some elves from the free elf movement in france

-harry testified at a ton of death eater trials, including draco malfoy’s and narcissa malfoy’s (lucius disappeared between the battle of hogwarts and the arrest of his wife and son; he was later found dead and draco has some very specific theories about that)

-due to harry’s testimony,  draco had a reduced sentence of 2 years of house arrest and 1 year of no magic (harry still had draco’s wand at the time so he knew draco was lying when he said it was destroyed during the war but he didn’t say anything); narcissa spent 6 mo in azkaban and is technically still under house arrest at the start of moonrise, but she breaks it to visit her sister bc she’s a malfoy damn it and she does what she pleases

-harry went back to hogwarts for a while to get his NEWTs because obviously hermione wanted to go and ron wanted to go with hermione and the idea of being without them and figuring out what to do with his life next made harry feel like he couldn’t breathe

-he had a VERY emotional first term with lots of yelling and storming off to sit by himself and he’s having trouble sleeping and he and ginny got back together and then broke up again and halfway through exams week during first term, he broke into the headmaster’s office in the middle of the night and just broke down sobbing because he couldn’t take it anymore and dumbledore’s portrait told him that he didn’t have to carry on at hogwarts and no one was going to be hurt/angry/disappointed in him, and he was SUPER relieved and he scared the crap out of professor mcgonagall (headmistress obvs) in the morning by having fallen asleep under the desk

-he went to stay at the burrow after that like he went for christmas and then the week between christmas and new year he broke down again and ginny told him that it’s okay that he needs help coping and there’s nothing wrong with getting it so he checked into st. mungo’s

-st. mungo’s has a new ward to treat wix who have been traumatically impacted by magic like straightforward spell damage or just had some kind of traumatizing experience with magic (mainly due to muggleborns being like please ma’am a crumb of therapy) and there are a ton of hogwarts students there including a bunch of slytherins and harry sees a lot of folks he knows which he finds kind of sad because they are all suffering at the same time for the same reasons and then also he knows there’s something good about it too because they can get help now, which they wouldn’t be able to before

-he sees neville a lot at st mungo’s, bc neville goes there to visit his parents and he gets sort of fascinated/obsessed with neville the way he does sometimes bc he can’t stop thinking about how neville could have been the chosen one and also he realizes that he’s attracted to neville and for a while he thinks neville kind of fostered this fundamental change in him because he’s never been conscious of being attracted to men before

-harry tries to ask hermione if there’s some kind of magical explanation for his interest in neville and hermione very gently tells him what being gay is, and harry’s like uhhhh yeah i actually have heard of that hermione but i’m not gay what about ginny so hermione goes to a muggle library and brings harry back a book about bisexuality and harry is like !!!!!!! he also revisits his past and realizes that he was very attracted to cedric diggory and viktor krum (he likes jocks) and also he realized that he still IS attracted to bill weasley 

-harry gets really into books because he didn’t know books could tell you such personal, useful things! hermione makes him get a library card

-ron leaves hogwarts after having obtained an acceptable number of NEWTS and moves in with harry at grimmauld place; hermione lives with her parents and ponders magical law school and visits a lot

-he starts dating neville! he only meant to come out to neville but neville thought harry was asking him out and accepted and harry was like okay yes let’s go with that 

-he gets a job in a muggle feminist bookshop and the middle aged muggle ladies who work there LOVE him so much because he’s polite and kind and down to earth and he loves books and harry is so MOVED because they don’t know he’s harry potter, they just know he’s a lovely boy. there’s one point where someone mentions a niece rather hopefully and harry’s worried it will get awkward but he just politely brings up neville, and they love him even more

-he breaks up with neville because he’s a little bored? he feels like there isn’t enough friction and then he is kind of miserable and self loathing for a while because he hates disappointing people and he has a little bit of a downswing

-ginny comes out as a lesbian and starts dating luna and at first harry kinda wonders if it had anything to do with him and he kind of hints at that to ron and ron scoffs and tells him he’s got a big head and harry is sheepish and realizes he’s being silly 

-ron and hermione get engaged which makes harry feel panicky again for a while and he thinks about how charlie weasley is part of a triad and harry wonders if he wants that with ron and hermione and then decides he’s not in the least attracted to either of them so probably not and then he makes them camp out in the sitting room of grimmauld place with him and they toast marshmallows on the fire and sit up all night talking and harry feels very loved

-the slytherin kids start showing up at grimmauld place one by one after they stand up to their bigot families and get disowned or else they just burn out in general. they tend to be a little snide but harry makes it clear that there is a standard for respect and kindness at grimmauld place, and people mostly meet it. harry and hermione help them learn some muggle skills and find muggle jobs so that they can support themselves (some of them have been banned from using magic or had their wands snapped but they’re trying to better themselves and learn how to treat ppl and harry rlly respects that) 

-around this time, harry starts spending more time with teddy lupin, and he keeps running into narcissa malfoy at andromeda tonks’ house, and he’s honestly kind of impressed that she’s risking being sent back to azkaban by breaking her house arrest just to see her sister and her nephew and he’s seen some other slytherins change, and besides she did save his life just because she loved her son, so he’s cautiously friendly to her

-the way narcissa (aunt cissy to some) talks about draco makes harry very curious about him like she implies he has a Terrible Secret and harry’s like !!!!!!!!!!! i must know all at once

-harry digs up draco’s wand, which he has never bothered to return and decides now is the moment to return it because he’s DESPERATE to speak to draco and see him with his own two eyes

[silver-wield]

Omg. Your body language analysis is so on point it makes me go uwu. If you're still doing it, will you make one for the scene where Cloud catches Tifa while Barret shoots his damnest at the heli? I have my own analysis but very curious what's your take on it.

Heya, I'm guessing you don't mean the scene with the hand catch, but the one after it where they reach Barret's position on the stairs. Although I have many thoughts about Rude too and why he first of all directed Reno's attention to Tifa, but then noped them away when Reno was about to shoot her. He had an interesting microexpression – teeny facial tic – that hinted something different to the OG “he's crushing on her” angle.

A lot of these “action touches” get discounted by you-know-who because in those situations it's impossible not to touch? I don't get the reasoning and I'm not gonna try and figure out just what counts and what doesn't. It's non-optional. Isn't that the only argument that matters?

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea's approval (Cloti ask response) 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Quick recap. Cloud and Tifa are reunited after that hand catch scene (smug? Me? Nau) and they're heading up to find Barret after seeing Jessie “die”. The mood is not good. This is not romantic, okay? This is war.

Ok, so already we have touchy touching here. You can argue it's high tension/stress moment and Cloud is making sure Tifa's safe, but he doesn't do that with Barret, is all I'm saying.

Cloud's got hold of her entire arm, not just her wrist or hand, he's got hold of her as securely as possible giving they're in motion. He doesn't want to lose her. She's got her arm on him, braced and using his body as a shield, which he is clearly fine with because he positions her partly behind him while he turns to check the threat from the stairs – possible further collapse of the platform they're now on. He's protecting her. Obvs. I shouldn't have to spell this out. It's not romantic, but it's telling of their trust and reliance on each other as partners. This is a clear pair.

Ok, so moving on from Cloti – cause action scene and this isn't a romance game – we get Tifa hearing Barret behind her. She turns and there's her concern for her friend. Obviously, she cares. It's her entire motivation for leaving the safety at the bottom and hauling her ass up those stairs.

Her face here hits me hard in the feels. She's so grim and worried and doesn't want to lose anyone else. She's caught up to Cloud, but then she lost Jessie – right in front of her and she couldn't do a thing about it. Now, she sees Barret facing down a helicopter.

Take that in. It's a dude – ok he's got a machine gun on his arm – fighting military spec weaponry on a fucking helicopter. Of course she's frightened and worried that she's about to see him get shot. Someone else she couldn't save.

Remember, FF7 has themes of loss and failure. The heroes don't always win or if they do there's a cost. How much of that threads into Remake is still to be seen, but since this scene is following canon we can assume it stands for now.

Tifa's character is often motivated by the desire to not lose people. She even says as much to the Shinra middle manager that she doesn't want anyone else to die. She stops Cloud killing the security agents and Johnny. This is a girl who fights because she wants people to live, not die.

Ok, so now we've got her running to reach Barret, leaving the safety of her bolt hole beside Cloud, who immediately turns and is all wtf when he sees her playing chicken with a chopper. Tbf, Barret doesn't sound that pleased about it, either. It's a crazy impulsive move likely driven by the desire to not lose her friend. If they're together they can stop whatever's coming. Tifa is very teamwork oriented if you recall all her actions from chapter 3 and how demoralised she was when she had to agree to disagree with Avalanche.

Cloud for his part doesn't take too long to dive to the rescue again. I think by now he's pretty much fulfilled that childhood promise and this is way more than just helping out a colleague or friend. He's not hesitating for a second to put himself in front of her with nothing but a sword for a shield.

Sorry, I just stopped the vid on this moment and it looks so damn cool I couldn't resist adding it. All it does is reinforce the above statement that Cloud has zero reservations of putting himself between Tifa and certain death. He's her hero without even stopping to think about it. The framing is stunning. Barret in the background, Cloud in the middle distance and Tifa in the foreground. Cloud has lined himself up with Tifa so that she's as protected by his position as he could possibly get. That takes skill. Tifa's half crouched to make herself a smaller target, but Cloud's body language is open, defiant. He's basically saying “come at me”.

Ah and now I'm sure some people will be all “but Cloud left her in the middle of the platform”. Well, yes, it's called diversion. He's the bigger target, the better target. And by making the chopper follow his progress, he's taken its sights away from Tifa's position. It now has less chance of hitting her when it next fires. Remember, Cloud knows tactics. He's not a dumdum. You can see that on his face as he's deciding his next move. The chopper won't wait for him to stop and explain what he needs to do, it's gonna fire. He's gotta move quickly. He also needs to trust that Tifa can get herself out of trouble. So many people's complaints about how she's not a damsel and should take care of herself. Well, this is Cloud trusting her not to be a damsel. He helped her out, and now he's gotta rely on her helping herself too. If he took her by the hand at this moment and dragged her along with him, she probably would've died. Tifa got herself to his position alone, she's clearly capable. He knows how much ass she can kick.

After that we've got the typical checking for danger and guy banter. I'm loving the development of Cloud and Barret's relationship. They went from outright hating each other to friends over the course of this game. It's beautiful and develops even further in their resolution – I love their one, it's so sweet and sad and such a guy bonding moment. Male friendship is important too, especially to Cloud who doesn't have many friends.

Now, despite the banter, Cloud's head turns at this point, back to Tifa. He's made sure the immediate area is safe, checked in with Barret and now it's back to his primary focus.

I love that Barret calls himself the leading man. It reminds me of Balthier in FF12.

And you'll see that Barret is still in the middle of that line while Cloud is stretching his hand out for Tifa. Could be a “I gotta grab my teammate” move, but I mean, really? Are we that delusional? He didn't have to do any of this. He could've relied on Tifa to get herself over there and not put out a hand for her. Barret didn't grab him. You could say that Barret doesn't like Cloud enough for that, but it's a high action moment. They're comrades and being shot at. Any helping hand is appreciated. Maybe Barret thought Cloud was capable enough not to need help. But then wouldn't the same apply to Tifa? Why does she need helping just cause she's a woman? She can kick ass.

And what about Barret? His attention isn't on Tifa at all. His focus is the helicopter, so he's either relying on Tifa to be ok without that level of help or he's expecting Cloud to support her.

Yes, she is literally throwing herself into his arms. That's how much she trusts him to catch her. Again, Cloud is going for a full arm grab – a hand or wrist isn't secure enough in this situation and he wants to keep her safe.

Tifa. Well, she looks scared. Shocker. She just got shot at by a helicopter. Ofc she's scared and leaning on Cloud. She's taking strength and reassurance from him. I mean, she could've just grabbed his arm and pulled herself to safety. There's no need for this depth of touch.

You'll notice this all happens within miliseconds while Barret says that leading man line. This is very quick action, very decisive. No hesitation on anybody's part.

I mean, this is full upper body contact between them. I don't know what else to say about it. There's no need to get this close. He could've pulled her over and then let go. He didn't. They both prolonged contact. This is relief they're ok for the moment. They’re united in how they feel.

Oh look, eye contact. I've pointed out before that Cloud doesn't do eye contact with people very well, but he does with Tifa, no matter the situation. Looking at this I'm like damn get a room. It's an intense look between them and even though there's shit hitting the fan around them you can see they have attention for each other, too. He's pulled her to safety and now he's meeting her gaze to gauge if she's ok. She nods. He nods. Back to the action. They don't have time for a drawn out romantic bit. They've got more serious things to think about, but even during the most high tension action scenes they have this energy about them that speaks to their close bond and affection. He's comfortable with her touch in every situation – if I'm wrong about this then someone point it out to me so I can see plz. He's still got his hand on her after they separate from their action hug and then when he drops his hand he braces it against the pipe beside her. Still close to her, though not actually touching.

After Barret asks if they're ready, Cloud looks around then looks at Tifa again. Did he need to do that? Idk, but he didn't look at Barret before they hauled ass.

Conclusion:

Kinda obvious. Even in high tension situations Cloud has part of his attention on Tifa. He's hyper aware of where she is and whether she needs him at any given time. It's sweet af how much he focuses on being her hero without even really knowing why. This instinctive need to protect her comes from the real!Cloud part of him. The one that made the promise to her. The one that has a crush on her.

Some people can say these kind of moments don't count because Cloud has no choice(?) but to touch her, but actually, he has no reason to touch her the amount he does. There's ways to execute these moments without this much unnecessary touching. He does it this way because of an instinctive need and desire to touch her this much. It's what he wants to do.

[softly-savage-mint-yoongi]

Allotrope

Genre: Idolverse Pairing: Kim Junmyeon (Suho) x reader Warnings: ANGST. unprotected sex. clothed sex. shower sex. oral sex(m & f receiving). slight body issues if you squint. Myeonnie is a soft dom in case that isn’t already obv. prev.   2   next. Words: 13k

You groan aloud, frustrated with reading the same paragraph three times over but not absorbing what is written. Not even enough to pretend that you understand.

Originally, you had thought that getting some fresh air and studying outside on this beautiful April day would help you. Instead, it was distracting. Like there was something calling for you to look around, but not dangerous. Like you might miss something if you don’t look up every five seconds.

However, your headphones are comfortable over your ears as you listen to your favorite instrumental study playlist, pencil tapping the thick pages of your open textbook in your lap as you go. Just focus!

This class was putting you through it, you couldn’t wait for the semester to be over finally. Only five more weeks. You sighed, pouting your lips out and taking a swig of your water before diving back into the text willfully.

You’d been at it for nearly two hours now. The sun was stretching to its peak overhead just as your stomach grumbled. You tell yourself if you can make it through the end of this chapter, you would call it a day and get yourself a late lunch.

Somehow, a testament of your willpower, you plowed through the end of the chapter in ten minutes, writing notes, scribbling passages down, highlighting and marking related information within the chapter with a variety of cat shaped sticky tabs.

You were pleased with yourself, closing your eyes and smiling at a particularly wonderful melody as you let your head roll back to feel the sun on your face and stretch your neck.

A content, productive sigh left your body feeling much better. You were totally going to reward yourself with the largest, most expensive coffee you could afford. Rolling your head back to your notes, you opened your eyes.

A pair of feet immediately caught your attention. Black, white and red Nike airs, and expensive looking ones at that. Your head snapped up to see, and standing before you was the last person you expected.

Kim Junmyeon.

Your breath caught in your lungs and suddenly the air of relaxation you had worked so hard for is stolen away and your heart is swept into your throat with the wreckage.

He’s casual but still devastatingly handsome. With ripped blue jeans, a faded charcoal tee and an impressively oversized yellow plaid flannel, he looks the epitome of chic but functional and not at all like a huggable boyfriend, you remind yourself. He’s wearing a black bucket hat to hide his eyes. His eyes that are staring directly at you.

The expression panting his face is passive. Passive… but also curious. Passive… but also a bit worried. Passive… but also a bit, something else.

You smile at him, letting your headphones fall around your neck and fixing your hair, “Hello.”

A grin tucks itself into the corner of his mouth automatically at the sound of your voice. “Hello to who?”

Laughter falls from your lips at his inquiry, “Hello, Junmyeon.”

He tsked, “Still think you know me, huh?” You’re almost afraid he means it, until he squeezes himself into the minuscule space where you’ve left the bench empty of your school work.

“I mean…” you trail off, averting his gaze with a blush. He is happy with your reaction, an honest smile curling his eyes into crescents as he looks around the park, taking in the springtime view. Momentarily, while his gaze is absent, you study him. He looks healthy and well.

“I can see why you chose to study out here, its peaceful.” he comments, “I hope I’m not interrupting? It looked like you were finishing up a few minutes ago.”

“You were watching me study?”

He laughs boyishly at your expression, “Perhaps I was.”

You scoff at him, shutting your books and shoving them back into your bag one at a time, “That’s not weird or anything.”

He blushes, hesitating for a moment with those pretty eyes going wide and lips pouting, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself, you were distracting me.” Junmyeon puts on a dignified air, insisting you are the cause of interruption.

You laugh loudly into the air, “Oh, you’re one to talk, mister idol!” Leaning closer you whisper, “How are you even out and about right now without paparazzi and fans all over you? That’s dangerous, you know.”

He grins like a cat, eyes darting around you as if there’s some trick he has to it that he doesn’t want to expose. “I’m fine, I do this all the time.” but the smile fades a fraction as he continues his explanation, “I’m not nearly as popular or easy to spot as some of the others. I don’t stick out like a sore thumb like Chanyeol or Jongin do.”

Before the words can be mulled over, they’re tumbling out of your mouth, “I don’t think that’s true. You’re always the first one I notice.”

Junmyeon stills, blushing as his brows fly into his hairline. He wasn’t expecting you to say that, but the tone of your voice compelled him to believe it. “Thank you.”

You grumble, refusing to meet his eyes and instead scratching at your cheek, “You’re welcome.”

Just before he can say anything else or the tension can grow, your stomach protests audibly between you. Embarrassed heat floods your cheeks and you both laugh.

“I think your stomach is done with studying.” Junmyeon quips with that grin tucked into his cheek again.

“You don’t say.” you deadpan in return.

“Feisty today are we!” he goads, standing up as you do. He stuffs his hands into his pockets and rocks back and forth on his heels with a smile full of white teeth, his eyes downcast to your face with an amused tilt to his lips.

“Just frustrated by this stupid class. It’s almost over.” you explain, hauling your bag over your shoulder. Very naturally, he falls into step beside you as you walk the gravelly path toward the exit.

He hummed, something you remember he did often to fill the silence the last time you were with him, just over four months ago. You remember with a shiver, back when he had his tongue delving between your thighs. You remember with a frown, back when you left his warmth at the end of your shared pleasure. Back when you realized just how lonely he was, and how guilty you felt leaving him alone in his bed on a cold and dreary December morning without so much as a thank you.

You become absorbed in your thoughts, questioning why then has he sought you back out? Why, when he could have just as easily ignored you and passed you by, was he going out of his way to walk with you?

Why did you feel connected to him? Why did you notice, even before meeting him in person so abruptly all those months ago, the way he wore his heart on his sleeve? Why was it so easy for you to see the stress he was under and the emotions and words he couldn’t express on television so plainly written across his handsome face? Why could you feel the sadness emanating from him?

Focus! It was no big deal. It was casual, totally nonchalant. You tell yourself right here and now in your head that you are not going to be hung up on it. You let it go months ago. You were not responsible for his feelings or his actions involving you or not. You remind yourself that you’re not heartless.

You don’t have the time to get involved like that and neither does he. You don’t have the time to give the thoughts attention and you feel ludicrous for even thinking about what ifs involving him. So you don’t. Now, however, with the warmth of his skin radiating hot enough that you can feel it through your denim jacket, those thoughts spark to life once more like moths to a flame.

The guilt that you shouldn’t even be feeling is back and you cannot help but wonder, was he upset with you that day? If he was, then why has he sought you back out again?

No, you know the answer. You knew it the moment you saw his face. The moment you saw the flashes of curiosity and delight and worry and hurt fleetingly brush his lovely features only to disappear so quickly you question if they had ever even come at all.

Junmyeon speaks, his tone light and curious, “Do you mind if I tag along? I’ll buy.” He is pointedly not looking at you, instead keeping his eyes trained on the gravel he gently digs the tips of his shoes into it to fling pieces of it across the expanse.

You keep walking, but are glad for his questions so you can get out of your head. You don’t want to stop and discuss your confusion on this entire situation. Loudly, your stomach protests once more, appealing to his request.

“I don’t mind, but you don’t need to buy my lunch.”

“But may I, please?” he looks at you from the corner of his eye as you move, “Think of it as payment for my request for your time.” His visage is genuine this time, but you don’t miss the way he holds his breath as you pass through the wrought iron gate.

“If you’re insisting.” you smirk in return. You think you really do enjoy his company and conversation, regardless of the prospect for more when you last met.

“I certainly am.”

“You choose then?” you challenge, both of you pausing outside the gate before he decides to go left, toward the busier part of town.

You cough, adjusting your bag on your shoulder, “Aren’t you worried, even a little, about being spotted out with me?” You can’t help nervously fidgeting with your hair, tucking it back and then fluffing it around your face to give you some sort of shield.

He hums again, “No, not really.” then shrugs, “If it somehow circulates, it wouldn’t be a lie to say we’re just friends, right?”

Your face falls, but you don’t let him see it. “Uh…right.” Just be casual. What did you expect? You slept together on the premise of a one night stand, with no intention of continuing that relation whatsoever.

But, here you are with him. Feeling his calm warmth wash over you, pulling you toward him with some invisible magnet that you can’t understand. It still feels natural, as if, perhaps, you really are just friends going for lunch.

Friends who fucked once.

Silence follows, but you don’t get the feeling he is uncomfortable. Just the opposite in fact, seeming to buzz with excitement in his step, a happy tune wafting from his nose as he leads you to the row of restaurants and cafes near the busiest district in the city.

“I hope you’re hungry,“ he says "because we’re having sushi.” Suddenly, his big brown eyes are staring at you. His genuine personality is refreshing, but takes some time to get used to.

You give him a warm smile in return, “Sushi? I’m a college student, I live off of coffee and cheap eats for a living.”

“Fair enough, but I’m buying, remember?” he pouts, side-eyeing you.

You mouth waters and you hold up a hand in defeat, “No protest here. That sounds delicious, I was just saying.”

Junmyeon titters and pauses his stride, nudging you softly with his shoulder to go toward the crosswalk at the corner, refusing to remove his hands from his pockets.

“Excellent. It’s right there.” he tosses his head to a window fronted place you have seen a handful of times but never ventured into. It looked relatively low profile, with a plain black paint job and a wooden sign, accented with industrial steel fixtures.

Junmyeon holds the door open for you before following you inside and shuffling with you toward the counter. “What kind of drink would you like?” he asks.

Your eyes flick briefly to the menu board above your heads, “Uh, just an americano is fine, thank you.”

“Alright, go pick a table. Are you cool with an assortment?” he asks, his hands gesturing around with the question. You answer with an enthusiastic nod of your head.

He put his hand on your back, guiding you to leave the line and find a seat. The heat radiating from his palm soothes the otherwise electric shock that ran down your spine at his touch.

You think it’s best to shake it off, instead busying yourself with choosing the perfect table. Somewhere deep into the cafe, with tall backed plush booths and dimmed overhead lighting. Away from the windows, with wall sconces of light filtering more clearly at each table, creating a warmer, cozy atmosphere.

You tuck this place away in your head for future study locations, especially during the winter. Only when you can afford it, of course.

Just as you finished making yourself comfortable, Junmyeon rounds the bar with a tray in his hands. He’s grinning again, setting the tray down with an eager kind of delight before dolling out the the chopsticks.

Your coffee smells amazing, and the roll portions are a good size, too. “I hope you like it.” he chimes, moving the tray out of the way and breaking his chopsticks.

“Thank you for this.” you say, meaning every word, “It looks amazing.”

His reply, “It tastes even better.” leaves a lingering thought in the air. Was he implying…?

There is no time to dwell on it any further when your stomach forces another opinionated gurgle upon your silence. Following his lead, you eat.

The food is delicious and you dine in relative silence. Occasionally, he asks you about your classes between mouthfuls of fish and rice.

“Wow, that’s impressive.” he claims.

“Me, or the sushi?” Your cheeky smile makes him laugh in return.

“Obviously the sushi.”

You nearly cackle, barking a laugh at his off the wall and unexpected answer and covering your mouth. After you calm down, he continues, “I’m serious though. That’s a lot on your plate for one semester.”

“Yeah, well, it has to get done.” Wow even the avocado is fresh.

“How much longer do you have?”

You swallow, “I graduate next spring, I hope. There’s a class I’ll need to finish, but only so many students get in every semester.”

Junmyeon takes a long pull from his own coffee, “I see.” followed with, “How about work? Are you still at the high profile gig?”

Popping another piece of roll into your mouth, you nod.

“Do you like it there?” he seems honestly curious, not just making small talk to fill the silence. He takes another bite of his meal while he waits for you to speak.

“I do. It pays well and it isn’t hard so I can really focus on my school work. Plus Soohyun is there, so…” you trail off with a blush, recalling the last time you spoke to Soohyun about Junmyeon.

He raises an eyebrow at you, “Soohyun… Soohyun.”

“The other server from that night.” you clarify, and you both know exactly what night you’re referring to.

“Sorry, I didn’t really notice anyone else.” he chuckles gently, wiping panko crumbs from his mouth with a napkin.

You mirror his expression, “Yeah, me either.” The air grows a little tense between you in the silence. It seems the tension between you is still mutual, thickening in the lull that settles over the meal between you.

There is an entire monologue going on in his head. Even with a mouth full of food from across the table, you can see the cogs working in his brilliant mind. The questions he asks himself and the puzzle he is trying to put together in his head with his brow knitted tightly.

You decide to give him some space and not make it weird. You busy yourself with a giant swig of coffee and it burns your tongue, but you swallowed and excuse yourself from the booth.

“I’ll be right back. I just need to use the restroom.” You provide, watching him. He only nods at you, rubbing the tip of his chopsticks over his bottom lip.

When you return, his gaze snaps to yours with a certain kind of slow intensity, but he remains silent until you are back into your seat.

Just before you can pluck another piece from the Spicy Girl roll between you, he speaks, “Are you free today?”

You don’t move, instead eyeing him, “I am. Why?” There is an unease settling in your stomach, and you’re retracting your chopsticks from the platter, empty.

“Would you” he begins, laughing at his own bashfulness and scratching at his cheek, “Would you like to come back with me?”

There it is. You can’t help but feel like you shouldn’t. You know it would feel the same as it did last time once it was over, if not worse. You don’t want to have your thoughts occupied by him when you should be focusing. When he was only a temporary lover. When he isn’t yours to think about or have feelings for. That’s cruel to do to yourself.

“Junmyeon, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You whisper, eyes dropping to his pouted lips.

His brow knits again and he looks upset, like he wasn’t expecting you to say that. He folds his hands in front of him and smiles aporetically down at the last few pieces of food, “Was it that bad?”

Your chest constricts painfully at his question. “Of course not! That has nothing to do with it.” Your eyes dart around the space outside the booth for prying eyes. It’s the perfect time, after lunch but before dinner, so there are nearly zero patrons.

"Do you regret it?” He bites out as politely as possible, schooling his scowl into a neutral vacancy.

“No!”

Junmyeon huffs and busies himself with turning the table tablet toward himself and gently swiping his back card.

You hate the silence, so you continue, not revealing the entirety of your reluctance but indulging him with half of the truth, “I like to think I’m not vain, and I’m not terrible to look at.” you stall, catching his eyes watching you as he pushes buttons and signs his name.

“But why me? I mean, look at me, I’m no ulzzang. Then look at you, you’re… you know, you.“ Your hands gesture at him in frustration, failing to find an appropriate single word to describe him.

“So?” he states incredulously, “Does that mean I can’t enjoy your company?” He chooses not to comment on your question of why.

You pout in return until an obscure, hellish thought enters your mind and your voice grows thick with whispered conviction, “I seriously hope you don’t think it’s because I’m easy.”

Junmyeon’s brows shoot up into his hairline and he looks at you in shock followed by hurt, but he doesn’t say anything. You realize immediately when your temper flared with the thought, you forgot that this is Junmyeon you’re talking to. You would never think that of him.

“I’m sorry. I… that was rude.”

“Don’t be.” he quips, resigning himself to stand from the table. You follow him back out into the breeze and he doesn’t seem to mind that you’re still beside him as he walks.

After one block of city streets, he whirls on you suddenly, “You’re sure I didn’t hurt you or something? You didn’t hate it?”

You shake your head at him, “Absolutely not. I enjoyed it very much.”

He removes his black hat for a moment only to run his hand through his hair aggressively and replace it on his head.

“Look,” he starts, moving you both into a small shop alcove and out of the way for other pedestrians, “I know I’m not as great as my band members. But I-“

You cut him off sharply, “I don’t care about your band members, Junmyeon! I didn’t want to sleep with any of them that night and that hasn’t changed! Do you seriously think I’m settling for you because you’re the only one who gave me attention?”

He tries, “But Jongdae-“

Silenced again, you try to keep your voice level and not shout at him, but you are so angry at him for insinuating. “Is that really what you think of me?” His expression is bewildered and confused. You’re both anxious, arguing on the streets of the city for all to watch.

The look of hurt he sees on your face makes him lean closer, “No! That’s not what I’m trying to say at all. I’m trying to say I’m sorry I’m not as good as them!”

Now you’re angry all over again, but for the opposite reason. You soften for him, letting your rage simmer, “Junmyeon. I don’t want you to apologize to me then. I want you to apologize to yourself for thinking that. I wish you would think better about yourself. Don’t you see how amazing you are?”

“How amazing Suho is, you mean.” He bites in a low tone.

“Suho is a part of you. I don’t remember calling Suho’s name that night. Suho isn’t the one I wanted.” He frowns momentarily until you clarify further, “I wanted Junmyeon that night. I wanted you.” You jab a finger toward his chest to emphasize your point.

He breathes into your space, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows.

“Was it only for that night?” His voice is so soft, like the words might shatter if he said them with more force. It is easy to see he is bracing for you to say yes.

“Well, no.” you disclose carefully.

He smiles, “Then why not?”

“Because I still want you.”

Junmyeon lifts one brow, “…because you still want me?” he pulls back just enough to look at you completely, gauging your face.

You look to the ground. You are never good with this kind of thing. It’s why short term relationships or one night stands once in a blue moon are better for you. You fall too hard too fast and don’t know how to handle those emotions. You believe you’re naive.

“It’s not a good idea, because I still want you.” You take a deep breath, “Even if it’s not for keeps. Even if I know I shouldn’t. Even if I know it will hurt when it’s over and we go our separate ways tomorrow. Even if I know there’s no promise I might ever meet you again. Even,” you pause, looking up to him now, “Even if it’s just like this.”

Junmyeon is silent but his face is slack and softened.

“And that makes me feel crazy. We both said we never do this kind of thing because neither of us have the time. That’s all it was supposed to be.” Your arms curl around yourself, shrugging your shoulders and looking anywhere but his face.

He chuckles, bringing his hands to your sides and closing them into loose fists, resisting, before dropping them back into his pockets with a deep sigh.

“Then why shouldn’t we indulge when we get the opportunity?” he implores with a huff into the air above your head. “I couldn’t bring myself to just pass you by when I saw you earlier.”

You smooth your dress down against your legs idly, eyes focused on the collar of his yellow flannel.

The handsome man in front of you speaks again, quietly, “I would really like to kiss you right now, but we’re in public.” He pauses before adding, “I would really like to do other things, too, if you want to. Even if it will make it difficult tomorrow, because it would have been harder to swallow if I had just passed you by.”

You reach out, plucking a stray hair off of the sleeve of his shirt, flicking it away in the wind. You want to indulge him and you crave him just as you did the first time now that he is standing here within arms-reach and wanting you, too.

So you look him in the eye and ask what has been plaguing your mind since you left his bed that morning.

“Were you upset when you woke up that morning and I was gone?”

Junmyeon hesitates, watching you watch him in return. You keep the guilt from it locked away neatly when faced with him, and the honest, vulnerable way the word ‘yes’ writes itself across his features makes your heart ache bitterly.

He doesn’t have to say the word for you to know. The expressive way he is looking at you, right down to your bones, is enough to make you understand that he sees you. Enough to make him understand that you see him, too.

Without much verbal debate, he guides you down the street and into a tall building. “Wave goodbye to me. Then go to the rest room.” He points to a crevice in the spacious lobby behind the escalator, “When you come out, there’s an elevator on the other side of the escalator. Go up to room fifteen on the eleventh floor.”

He smiles at you tepidly, too still and polite as if simply giving directions to a stranger. You’re confused by his sudden change in demeanor until you realize he is already dropping into his act and waving goodbye to you with both hands, turning away to head for the large main elevator to the left of the desk.

You wave back, albeit a little robotically since you’re not used to doing this so suddenly, before walking away to the right, towards the ladies room.

Given the opportunity, you might as well freshen up as best you can. You pull your dress down, attempting to flatten a few wrinkles and reapplying your lip balm.

As you exit and make your way up to floor eleven, you can’t fight the way your cheeks hurt from smiling. Your nerves are replaced with excitement today and a weightlessness you were not expecting to feel during this time of year. Not with the final for your hardest class creeping up quickly.

You knock only once before the door flies open and you’re being tugged inside. A cacophony of complaints are being tossed around the room as you enter. Junmyeon’s fingers around your hand are a warmth that makes you sigh.

What you are not expecting is Sehun. You supposed with an afterthought, your lover might not always get a room by himself; that might become expensive for their company.

The younger, taller boy is loud. Louder than you had ever seen him be, either in private dining or on stage. His complaints are centered around the inconvenience of being kicked from his own room at your expense and you suddenly feel sheepish when his eyes landed on you.

“Oh, it’s you.” He states plainly, and not exactly in the most pleasant tone. He raises one dark eyebrow in your direction, rocking back on his heels shortly before he moves past you with a disgruntled huff.

“Get out.” Junmyeon interrupts his staring, leaving you momentarily to unplug a phone charger from the wall and stuffing a pair of Sehun’s pajamas into his arms along with the cord, shooing the maknae toward the door.

“Hyung, this is so uncool.” Sehun moans, keeping his foot in the door as Junmyeon tries to shut it. His impatience makes you giggle.

Junmyeon sighs, turning toward you with a wide grin, “Y/N, do you think I’m lame?”

You laugh, covering your mouth to shake your head at Sehun’s frown, “I think you’re the coolest.”

Junmyeon truly smiles broader than you have ever seen before at your compliment, “Thank you, sweetheart. See? She thinks I’m cool. Now get out.” The threatening expression that drops over his handsome face at the younger man makes your stomach flip flop with desire. You think in the back of your mind how much you know you might enjoy it if he punished you with that face.

Sehun denies it, “Okay first of all- gross. Second, she doesn’t count!” before adding, “Yah, hyung you know I can’t sleep alone!”

“Go bother someone else. Minseok got a single this time, go sleep with him!” he orders before shutting the door completely.

Junmyeon turns back to you, a devilish smirk growing across his mouth.

“Sorry about that.” He says, turning sheepish. His hands gently pull you to into his embrace, mouths drawing closer, whispering, “I feel like a college kid kicking his roommate out.”

Your bubbling laughter against his mouth is cut short by his lips, soft but eager to press against your own.

The electricity immediately lights your skin, kissing him back with fervor. This time, the difference is not the awkward attempt to figure out how to kiss you. Junmyeon remembers just how to kiss you, licking hotly into your mouth to make you squirm in his arms. His tongue demands a space to pet against your own.

He hums, appreciating the flavor of your lips. Taking advantage, he licks, nips and kisses all of the newly applied balm from your soft pout.

His hands deftly guide you back a step, just enough to let your back touch the wall before they are trailing all over. Up the back of your arm to your neck, down to your breasts, across your hip to dig into your ass.

Your want for him grows impatient with his expert kisses and fleeting touches. All hot lava in your mouth but feathers against your skin. Your jacket is heavy and warm suddenly, too restricting for such an activity. Junmyeon can feel your frustration, releasing you momentarily and appreciating the way your chest bows out toward him as you reach behind yourself to yank each sleeve from your arm before you toss it onto a bed.

With a sigh you relax back against the wall, demanding he curl closer into you while his mouth plants kisses across your cheek to your jaw, to your ear, to the sensitive place just behind it. Your nails dig into his arms as he nibbles the soft flesh, sucking just enough to tease and not leave a mark.

You moan, tilting your head for him. The feeling of his smile spreading against your neck is nice, and he continues his path over your neck to your shoulder, wet open mouthed kisses planting seeds of desire along your skin. The action makes you hiss and shiver against the sturdy confines of his body.

His hands are bunching the fabric of your dress before he passes it all into one hand to slide his palm up the back of your thigh with the other. When his fingertips dip just under the edge of your panties to take a handful of your ass in his grip, he groans.

“Junmyeon.” You whine, picking up the same leg to put your knee at his hip. He takes your hint, stepping into you fully to hoist your limbs up and around his hips.

Neither of you care about the impatience, too busy remembering how good you feel against the one another. The instant relief of him pressed against your center coerces a moan, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.

He kisses you again, flexing his hips into your own against him, sighing into your mouth when you bring one hand down to pop the button of his jeans open. It’s a feat you aren’t sure how you managed.

“Like this?” he asks, hoping you catch his meaning.

The idea of it sends a shudder down your spine and you feel silly for asking him if he can manage it like this, so you don’t voice it.

Instead, “If that’s what you want.” You’re worried he might not be able to hold up all of your weight for the entire event.

Junmyeon grins against your lips, one hand leaving your ass as he pushes you further against the wall.

“Lift your hips for me, sweetheart.” He coos, struggling a little but ultimately freeing himself from his pants. The heat of him, heavy, hot and hard against your throbbing pussy has you sighing happily, gently swiveling your hips against him.

He chokes on a moan against your neck, settling you back against his lap and pulling the full weight of your behind into himself. Junmyeon chuckles huskily, feeling you tense up just enough for him to notice, "Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

A blush quickly spreads itself over your cheeks and you smile at him, “Okay.”

He kisses you. He is always kissing you, but hungrily this time, groaning into it as you bring a hand between your bodies to stroke the head of him.

Just as you’re slipping your thumb through the pre cum gathering at his tip, Junmyeon pushes you against the wall again, using his leverage to lock the crook of your knee and his elbow together. You hold on tighter when you realize he’s letting go.

It doesn’t last long. Only a moment is needed as he pulls your panties to the side roughly, letting one finger trail through your arousal with a long, unfiltered groan.

“So good for me, sweetheart.” he praises, adding, “So fucking wet. Is it all for me?” with a growl.

You keen, moaning at his words as a hot blush paints your ears. You realize you have a penchant for him like this. The angelic tenor of his voice whispering dirty words to you in such an intimate space has your cunt fluttering with a pang of emptiness.

“Tell me.” he demands, lubricating himself and rubbing your clit with the head of his swollen cock.

“Yes!” you whine, trying to raise your hips against him to chase the friction and get him to move more.

“Good girl.” he whispers, pulling hard on your panties again and lifting you just enough to sink the entire length of himself all at once into your waiting heat with a strangled moan against your neck. The sound of his beautiful voice dripping with such pleasure has you shuddering in his arms.

“Fuck, ‘Myeonnie.” you mewl. Gravity is your best friend in this moment, aiding your weight to feel every inch of him inside of you. You relish in the stretch, flexing your hips as best as you can to match the pace of his conquest.

This isn’t the same kind of sex it was last time. Neither of you are taking the time to map and explore and remember each moment. Instead, you’re so hungry to feel one another again that he is driving into with a brutal rhythm, his biceps taught to keep you in his hold.

You’re vaguely aware your spine and shoulder blades are going to be sore tomorrow from the force of his thrusts, your bones digging into the unforgiving drywall behind you. You can’t be bothered to care right now. Not while the sight, sound and feel of Junmyeon fucking into you against the wall of his hotel room is happening. Not while he instructs you to rub your clit between your bodies with a growl and a furrowed brow. His pretty lips are wet and swollen, catching the light as they drop open or he bites them, stuttering out groans alongside particularly deep thrusts.

Everything in this space is turning you on. The light but present scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of sex. The humid, sticky dampness of his forehead pressed against your shoulder. His soft brown hair that will surely tickle your nose if you turn your head just a fraction. The rough fabric of his jeans rubbing at your behind, sure to leave some sort of burn if you’re not careful.

It spikes your pleasure higher knowing neither of you could wait long enough to properly remove your clothes. You try to time your stimulation with his thrusts, but he is burying himself into you with abandon, murmurs of praise and profanities pouring from his mouth as he takes you.

He straightens his back for a better angle, and you don’t think you’ll ever find his focused, furrowed brows unattractive. The way he is so intently fixated on the sight of his cock disappearing between your thighs is quickly becoming one of your favorite things about him. The way his cheekbones screw his face tight with pleasure. Perhaps burning that image in your head could be of use when you’re alone and desperate.

Reaching out, you use your free hand to ground yourself to him further, curling your fingers around his bicep. Feeling the solid muscle makes you squeeze him and he groans once more. He smiles, too, as his eyes flick up to catch yours. It is with that thought that you swat at his oversized flannel, pushing it to fall off of one shoulder just enough to let your fingers slide beneath the sleeve of his tee to feel his smooth skin.

Your orgasm is so close you have to close your eyes, focusing on the pleasure coiling tighter through you like a white hot knife. Junmyeon can feel it instantly, the way your body begins to tense around him. The way your pussy constricts its grip around his aching cock.

“That’s it sweetheart. Let me feel it.” he growls with pleasure, gritting his teeth and driving himself into you with a pace you don’t want him to falter.

You’re trembling, taken over by the reality of the situation. The flavor of it is one you are afraid you might become addicted to, heavy and sweet on your tongue with bliss. Your nails dig crescents into his arm and you hear him hiss. Watching him sweat and fuck you like he wants to possess you makes you fall over the edge.

You cry out, letting your head thud back against the wall as he chases you to completion. Even still, through his pleasure, he checks, “A-are you on… a contraceptive?”

Panting openly as you shake in his hold, you don’t respond. It feels so good, so fucking incredible. How can he even think clearly right now with your velvet heat beckoning him to join you in euphoria?

He groans, “Sweetheart I- I need to… fuck. I need to know.”

You nod weakly at him, barely choking out the word 'yes’ before his hips pick up speed, pistoning into you for a moment before he buries his face in your neck and moans, long and loud. His hips stutter, “Fuck, you… feel so good. I’m gonna come.”

His voice sounds desperately broken and you find yourself sweating suddenly at the words he whispers so close to your neck. His sounds of pleasure are music to your ears as he finds his release.

You moan softly right along with him, letting your fingers climb to the back of his neck to card gently through his hair. There’s an innate heat coupled with his full length blooming inside of you, and you swivel your hips to feel it more. Junmyeon delightedly shivers in your arms, gasping quietly while he regains his breath against your neck.

The space between you is without warning far more intimate and calm than it had been not thirty seconds ago. Only your mingled, ragged breathing froths in the air between you, chests still heaving with exertion as the last tides of adrenaline leave your veins.

Junmyeon turns his face just enough to plant a long, gentle kiss to the side of your neck. It makes your heart leap and flutter in your throat. He lifts his face, eyes searching for yours and he smiles when he looks at you. The expression on his face is beautiful. It is warm and glowing, further visualized by the tame afternoon sun filtering through the room and lighting the angles of his cheeks, lips and chin, the rounded tip of his nose, with a soft gleam.

It is in this moment that your heart disappears from your body altogether, stolen right from the safety of your chest with his stunning beauty. As if to mock you, you quickly remember that he is not yours and that it hurts to know you don’t get to wake up to this face every day.

Thankfully, Junmyeon doesn’t seem to perceive your crestfallen appearance. He only continues to smile at you coquettishly, embracing your limp body and leaning in to sample your lips slowly. As if you might believe he sees the same things in you. You wish that were the case, even though you know you shouldn’t.

He sighs happily at the feel of your lips, his own stretching thinner in a line against you when you protest against the feeling of him slipping from your core. Abruptly, he pulls your bodies from the wall, hands full of your thighs as he carries you to the bathroom.

Gently, he sets your ass on the cold granite of the sink and you yelp at the icy chill against your skin. Junmyeon laughs at your reaction, his grin tucking into the corner of his mouth when you sulk.

He spins away, busying himself with the faucet of the shower and stripping his clothes. He looks to you as he kicks off the last leg of his jeans, hopping to the side one pace when he almost loses his balance.

You can’t help but bark out a laugh at him, your fit of giggles becoming more obnoxious as he glowers at you with a pout.

There is no need for words in this moment. You’re both content to bask in the silence, communicating through your actions while he steps to you and helps lift your dress over your head. He tosses it behind him and reaches for you once more, letting the weight of his palms slide up your arms in a comforting manner.

Junmyeon pulls your shoulders to him lightly, enough that he can reach around and unclasp your bra for you while the softness of his lips touches against your hairline. He pulls the straps back down your arms for you, his fingers so mild against your skin. He is watching you with a spark of… affection? in his eyes. A sudden slowness to paint himself a picture of your every atom in his mind like you’re made of stardust.

He steps back, giving you space to hop off the edge of the sink. Even though you feel wonderfully light and weightless, you can feel the cool stickiness of his release sliding down your thighs. You waste no time in slipping off your soiled panties and kicking them to their own corner of the room before you follow him into the steaming comfort of the shower.

Of course, he is gentlemanly enough to let you gorge on the brunt of the water first, instead content to run his fingers along the tops of your shoulders, the curves of your waist, the round slopes of your hips. Every scar and pock mark he can reach. Your first task is to clean yourself of the mess he made between your legs.

Now, you reach for the shampoo, opting to run your fingers through his hair with it, scratching the suds along his scalp. Junmyeon nearly purrs, but cocks one eyebrow and coyly lets you do as you please, amused by the playfulness in your eyes.

He does much of the same to you, twisting the strands of your hair with his fingers, frothing it with the shampoo before he lets you rinse. You yelp, giving him a quick glare and a wet slap to his chest when he plucks the bud of your breast while you closed your eyes to tip your head back under the spray.

Junmyeon laughs, trying to act like he didn’t do anything wrong under the scrutiny of your gaze.

You repeat the same series of motions, passing the small bottle of conditioner between yourselves. You force Junmyeon to switch places with you this time, refusing to rinse your hair first. He laughs loudly when you make a face and pass your own fingers over one of his nipples.

Slowly, the lightness of the moment and the sex wear off, evaporating from your skin with the steam of the shower. Monotonously, you let the wonderful man with you run his hands along your body, reveling in the tenderness of his silent task as he runs the soap around your figure. He doesn’t notice your shifting mood.

He doesn’t see the way your eyes climb his body and pause on his face, trying desperately to look into his head and burn every part of him into your memory. You were right all along, knowing just how much this was going to hurt both of you, but here you are, doing it anyway.

You can’t help but feel like it is ridiculous. You don’t love him, not by any means, but you wouldn’t say that you don’t think there’s an undeniable chemistry between you. You don’t deny how natural and good it feels when you’re with him, even fully clothed, stuffing your faces with sushi or sitting on a park bench and jesting. You don’t deny the way he makes your heart shake with some sort of feeling when he is looking into you as if he knows the map of your very soul. You don’t deny the crushing ache of it when you know you’ll leave and you have no guarantee you will ever meet him again.

Most of all, you don’t deny the crushing guilt of giving him these same memories, so cruel is your shared selfishness. The staggering weight of knowing how empty he will feel, just the same if not more than your own. His longing for companionship written so delicately in the way he is caring for you right now.

He is drawing out every pass of his fingers along your skin, his eyes blazing a path right behind his hands, taking you in. It squeezes the air from your lungs to imagine him tomorrow, or the day after that and the week after that, without someone to catch him. Without someone to hold him up when he is tired and stressed and unable to rest because of the unending weight upon his broad, weary shoulders. You know, without any trace of doubt, that he is strong. Very much so, but he is also human.

He shouldn’t have to suffer, and you are incredibly aware of his unspoken words. His body language, his tenderness, his focused movements against you and his pleading eyes. You are hearing the thoughts in his head that he doesn’t know how to verbalize, or can’t or won’t. It doesn’t matter, because you can hear them and see them and feel them with every second that dissipates between you.

Junmyeon gently pulls you out of your thoughts to coax you back under the heat of the water, swapping you to rinse while he washes himself with a tranquil smile.

You blink rapidly, willing away the thoughts plaguing you. You let the sting of the water soothe the ache settling in your shoulders, falling down your back in an endless wave of heat. When you’ve had enough you turn, raising your arms to let the water wash away the feeling of lead in your stomach. You will enjoy this, you chastise yourself with a frown. What’s done is done, you’ll already suffer, you tell yourself.

Junmyeon’s hands find your arms again, softly swaying you backwards just a little. His hands gather your hair and move it to one side as his lips find the back of your neck.

“Will you stay?” he asks quietly against the line of your shoulder.

Your heart sinks. Junmyeon can feel you tense up.

“I don’t know…” you begin slowly, letting your head hang, wishing the pitter patter against your scalp were loud enough to drown out your spinning thoughts.

He sighs, turning you in his hold. You feel the shame wash over you, the comforting heat of the shower not enough to stop the icy shiver your body responds with. He doesn’t force you to meet his eyes.

“Why?” You applaud his strength. His ability to keep his feelings from seeping into his voice as he simply questions.

“Because this will hurt enough tomorrow without staying.” Your words are clearly heard and Junmyeon pauses, letting them sink into his ears. He makes a sound akin to sucking his teeth.

This time, his hand rises and he pauses again with his fingers outstretched toward your chin. You can tell he is uncertain now if he should even touch you.

“You keep saying that.” he states carefully before deciding to be selfish enough to make you look at him. His hold is still calm as he lifts your chin, tilting his own face down to catch your eyes when they refuse to lift from his neck.

He continues, “You said you didn’t regret it, so why do you say it hurts?”

You don’t answer him right away, gritting your teeth behind your closed lips.

He doesn’t let up, “Was it not good enough to outweigh this hurt you keep feeling?”

Your eyes snap to his fully, watching his frustrated expression morph into one of sadness. He is staring at you, uncaring about the water dripping from his hair into his eyes.

“Because how can I enjoy it so much that I don’t care about how lonely you will be?” you say quietly, your brow furrowing up at him.

“We’re not supposed to get attached.” you whisper. Your head suddenly feels too heavy for your shoulders. You let it fall to his sternum, thumping against it softly.

“I’m not heartless, Junmyeon. I can’t keep doing this when you look at me like I’m filling the void in here.” you say, nudging his chest more with your head for emphasis.

Junmyeon is still. You can feel his heart steadily in his chest, but he doesn’t move. You feel more than see him laugh softly after a long moment.

He doesn’t move your head from his chest, but you can feel the vibrations of his voice when he asks, “How could I possibly by lonely when the world is watching me? When I have a family of brothers and millions of fans supporting me?”

You stand up straight, letting your fingers trace the hardened divets of his abdomen, “Suho might not be lonely, but Junmyeon is.”

He doesn’t fight you on it, but his face shifts into something perhaps… scared? Afraid you’ve exposed some great secret he never intended to have revealed. He looks at you like just maybe you are right, having broken through any lines of his well crafted defense in one instant, without knowing it or trying at all, and that scares the shit out of him.

A second passes between you and you smile sadly at him. Reassuring, as if to say his secret is safe with you, and he is smitten. He is safe.

His head dips and he captures your lips in a kiss too sweet for the ones you shared only minutes ago. You wrap your arms around his middle, tugging him back under the water to let him rinse and relax.

He smiles against your lips at the gesture. Your fingers splay against his stomach, and his charming personality is back. He lets you in. Your heavy thoughts are swept down the drain with the water as he watches you.

“What about you, then? Aren’t you lonely, too?” he challenges.

Your smile is tepid, but his light is infections and you find your spirit lifting from its grave, “Sometimes.”, you nod.

He grins, “You didn’t miss me at all?”

The tone of his question has a laugh lifting from you, as if it would be absurd not to, “…Maybe a little.”

He laughs along with you, grinning flirtatiously with wiggling brows, “Only when you needed to, right?”

You don’t miss his insinuation, instead lightly punching him in the chest.

“Hey, I-!” he shouts happily, seizing up to block your fingers from pinching his pectoral.

“Well, you didn’t answer.” he says after a moment, running his palms over his face and slicking back his hair with perhaps a little too much showy muscle flexing.

You blush at how good he looks with one simple move. Junmyeon doesn’t miss the opportunity to tease you, knowing full and well what he is doing and how much it’s starting to turn you on.

“Go ahead, I could use the ego boost.” he chides.

Your mouth drops open, incredulous as you speak, “Yah, maybe I should never compliment you if you’re going to be a little shit about it!”

Junmyeon howls, his eyes closing in happy half circles as his head dips back with laughter. He is still laughing when an idea pops into your head. You’ll put him back in his place.

You sink to your knees, hands grabbing at his thighs as you kiss the angles of his hips.

He jumps, nearly choking on water as he gasps.

It only takes a moment of your heated eye contact and dangerous palms for him to twitch to life. Your lips never stop their random patterns against his stomach, his hips, his thighs. Everywhere except where he needs you until he shifts.

His body angles, back bent over with one arm leaning against the tile as he shields you from getting water in your eyes. You look up to him before you touch, your mouth hovering at his groin, less than an inch away from him.

His eyes drop, barely open when you lick your lips deliberately. His own follow suit, dropping open with a groan as you give one tentative lick, grasping the base of him with one hand.

You smile up at his reaction, giving a firm stroke and letting your lips envelope him. Softly, his hips stutter. Your remaining hand is against his thigh, strong enough to help keep him in place where you want him.

Junmyeon seems perfectly content to watch his cock disappear anywhere into you, but especially into your warm mouth, the melody of his pleasure pouring from his lips unlike anything you’ve ever heard.

You work him in a moderate rhythm for a few moments, letting your tongue swirl around his head and your teeth just barely graze along his member to have him hissing a gasp. His free hand finds its way into your hair, taking a gentle fist of it to take over your pace. You swat at him, pushing yourself away from him and pouting. You aren’t finished experimenting.

A deep chuckle rumbles in his chest. He understanding what you’re up to and releases your hair to drag his nails up the side of his own thigh instead. He sighs when you resume your feast upon him.

His unoccupied fist remains at his side, open palm running along his own body or clenching and unclenching at his side as you take him deeper into your mouth.

He moans deeply, throwing his head back and releasing all of the air in his lungs when your nose struggles to reach the soft plane of his abdomen.

“Fuck.” he breathes, his brows knitting together and you hum.

You relent for a moment to kiss the tip of him, letting your tongue collect the saltiness of his arousal before teasing him, sucking just around the head.

You let go, speaking, “Did you think of me, too?” The faltering stare he gives you tells you he definitely did.

He squirms, trying to bury himself back in your pretty mouth. When you don’t comply, instead grinning wildly at him, he pulls you up from the floor of the shower with a growl.

Junmyeon is riled up, and the stern look he sends you as he maneuvers you to bend against the wall has a shiver of pleasure rolling down your spine.

“Since you won’t take it all in that pretty mouth of yours, maybe you’ll take it all here instead.” he whispers hotly against the shell of your ear, grabbing himself and rubbing the head of his cock through your folds.

You whimper in response, gyrating your hips back into his. One of his hands slides to your stomach, cradling you as be breeches your walls with a shallow thrust. Your hands shoot out to steady yourself against the wall.

Moaning, your head falls forward. He continues just like this, building a frustration in you with only the head of his delicious cock teasing you.

“It’s not nice to tease, sweetheart.” he comments, teeth pressing into your shoulder with just enough bite to make you hiss.

Willfully, you lift your head and crane your neck to speak, “You… you teased me, too!”

Junmyeon chuckles, his eye smile invading your peripheral. “I s-suppose you’re right.” he says, then slams the fullness of himself into you.

Your cry breaks into a moan at the delightful stretch.

“Shit…” he moans, “Is that better?”

You mewl, nodding at him. Abruptly, his fingers are sinking down from your abdomen to your clit, and he presses tight circles against it in time with his thrusts.

Goosebumps light along your arms with pleasure. Your chest heaves, nerve endings alight with every inch of him inside. He groans above you, his hips digging into your ass. It feels so much better without any clothes.

Part of you wishes you could see his face. See the way he bites his lips or grits his teeth to stave off his pleasure.

“Fuck,” you hear him speak softly, followed by a moan, “so fucking good.”

You imagine he must be close, hearing it in the way his voice pitches and he whines lowly against your back.

“Sweetheart…”, you feel his forehead press against your back, “I’m not going to last, you feel too good.”

The idea of him losing his composure so quickly has you giggling, twisting your neck once more to smile at him. “It’s okay, I want you to come.”

The sweetness of his smile melts you. The pleasure he gives you feels wonderful, but you’re still recovering from your last earth shattering orgasm. You know he’ll make you come in other ways, so you push your hips back harder, clenching around him purposefully.

“Stay.” he kisses against your ear, panting breath fanning the side of your face with his plea, “Be selfish. I want you to stay.”

Junmyeon groans, suddenly pulling his cock from you and pumping himself furiously against the cleft of your bottom. His fingers are digging into your ass as you watch, best as you can when he comes on your back with a choked groan.

The evidence of his ecstasy disappears almost immediately, the now cooling water washing it away where it still rains against your bodies.

He slumps against you, softening cock still in hand.

“I’m sorry.” he starts, frowning just slightly. You never did answer him.

You laugh, turning around to kiss his pout away, “It’s alright. I’m cool with it.”

He’s leaning against the wall of the shower with his eyes closed, puffing out his cheeks while he regains his breath. He watches you from the corner of his eye, appreciating your figure standing under the cooling water, ensuring your back is rinsed clean.

Junmyeon recovers, pushing himself from the wall to reach behind you, turning off the water. You don’t remove yourself from his proximity, instead letting your arms circle under his arms with a sigh.

He holds you like this, closely in silence, until you shiver with the chill of being wet. He bends only enough to dip his head and kiss your cheek.

Your lover’s hair is sticking all over when he shakes his head before stepping out. He grabs both neatly hung, pristine white towels from the rod, passing one to you before he pats himself off with the other. You dry, but the dull throbbing of your core is uncomfortable. He watches you press your thighs together with a laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” he announces.

The spark of his eyes hasn’t gone away and he licks his lips slowly, knowing you’re watching him do it. It doesn’t take much to imagine exactly what he has in mind.

You’re standing in front of the bed before you realize, with Junmyeon pulling on a pair of boxers before he’s drawing you onto the linens with him.

Momentarily, you’re confused by the position he takes, situating himself to lay on his back at the head of the bed.

“But?” you begin, tilting your head.

He grins at you, beckoning with his hands, “But what? I want to eat you out, sweetheart.”

A heated blush is scorching across your face quickly, “Oh.” You don’t move otherwise, remaining in your place at his side.

He can’t mean…? You’re happy to let him have his way with you, but sitting on someone’s face is a fear you’re not ready to face. A door you’re not ready to open or acknowledge. Even if you’re happy with your body, you’re still the weight of an entire person sitting on someones only source of air. You’ve always been afraid to try and frankly, turned off by the idea.

“Come here… please?” he tries.

“Junmyeon, I- I can’t.” you panic, looking around the room.

He immediately understands he’s touched something he wasn’t supposed to and he backpedals. His spine comes off the bed so quickly you’re sure he’s broken it, briskly pulling you against his frame.

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You pull his head, burying his face in your chest and hugging his shoulders tightly.

You can hear him softly, muffled by your bosom, “I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable.” He squeezes your body in return.

“I’m okay. You didn’t know.” you declare quietly.

He lifts his head from your skin, “If you lay down can I still eat you out? I want to, but if you don’t want it that’s okay, too.”

You could cry at how sweet he is. Too attentive. Too affectionate and caring and worried to just be an occasional fuck buddy, or multiple night stand. To be whatever it is you are with him.

You will yourself to relax from the sincerity of him alone, and you can’t deny there’s still an ache of slick wetness at the apex of your thighs. Nothing has to be said as you simply release him to make yourself cozy against the pillows, perhaps only a tiny bit fidgety.

Junmyeon grins at you, delicately parting your thighs and keeping his eyes on yours as he sinks to his stomach, lining his face with your heat.

“Just relax, I’ll make you feel good.” he coos, kissing each word into your hip. You hold your breath for just a second, releasing it at once with a long moan when the flat of his tongue runs, heavy and leisurely through your folds.

He hums his approval, tasting you lasciviously, as if he might never get to do so again.

Your head tips back, eyes fluttering shut and your hand creeps into his hair, encouraging him further with a scraping of your nails through his wet locks.

Junmyeon moans salaciously, scooping his hands underneath to palm your ass, pushing you further against his face as he wreaks havoc upon your clit, sucking, licking, nipping you between his lip covered teeth.

Every flick of his devilish tongue has you grinding further against him, moans of his name falling from your lips when his head dips further and he releases your bottom, putting his thumbs to better use as he parts you even more.

Not one second is wasted as he uses the space created to spear his tongue into your aching cunt and undulate it against the parts of your walls he can reach. He licks into you not unlike blissful fire. One thumb brushes your pearl of nerves where his nose doesn’t quite reach.

You’re beginning to tremble, writhing on the bedding as he gorges himself on you without relent. He drives you higher, grunting when your fist takes hold of his hair, holding his head against your core.

Your orgasm approaches rapidly, this scene so explicit and lovely you don’t have time to dwell on how fast the impending snap of it takes you. Your hips are working of their own accord, flexing against him in your race for release.

He happily obliges, greedy and encouraging you to come all over his tongue. Only a look of carnal desire and a harsh suck to your clitoris is what it takes to have you coming undone around his head, crying out his name with a high pitched whine.

Junmyeon pulls every drop from you, licking at your pulsating core with a satisfied moan. When you’re finished, your back dropping limply back to the sheets, he raises his head to look at you.

He is smiling so sweetly, his lips, nose and chin shining with your release. “Good girl.” His voice sounds gravely.

He slides up to your face, kissing your lips briefly and smiling as you grimace at the taste of yourself on his lips. He rolls to his side and suddenly you’re being pulled by the waist until your back is contently pressed against his chest.

“You okay?” his voice breaks the silence, nuzzling into your shoulder as he spoons your body. You relax against him, still recovering your breath.

You smile, deciding instead that you would rather face him in his arms, “Yeah. Thank you.”

He smiles in return, allowing you to tuck your head into his neck. His chin finds a comfortable place, resting atop your head.

“That good, huh?”

You don’t have to look at him to hear the grin splitting his lips and you roll your eyes, laughing. Lightly, you flick him in the chest.

He laughs, too, followed by a sigh until it is his stomach growling this time that breaks you from the warmth of his arms.

Your eyes go wide as you try not to laugh at him.

“Shut up, that was a lot of exercise.” He reasons with a sheepish grin, but you don’t say anything, opting instead to kiss his clavicle.

His stomach makes a sound of protest again and you don’t hold back your laughter. Junmyeon wastes no time in smothering you with kisses, “Don’t laugh!”

It only serves to makes you giggle harder at him, cackling as your body twists in his hold. He settles after a moment, affectionately stuffing you back against his chest to stop your mocking.

After a quiet moment, “…do you want room service, or?” he inquires carefully.

For a brief moment you’re confused by the hanging end of his question. Oh, right. You never answered him. So you sit up to ponder. He takes this as a bad sign and raises himself on one elbow, gauging for a negative reaction.

“Am I still invited to stay?” Your eyes find his and you wait.

Junmyeon releases a breath, “I would like you to. I don’t get to do this much, and it’s only the late afternoon.”

Your soft expression sets him smiling at you, the same dazzling one he gave you when you said he was the coolest earlier this afternoon.

“I’ll stay.” you confirm, stretching your arms above your head, trying your best to be nonchalant. You yelp again as he laughs, pulling you back down to the bed with him.

You sit up once more when his stomach growls for the fifth time and he flings himself from the bed to grab at the menu directory on the night stand between the beds.

He holds it open to you as he swipes the phone from the night stand as well, his brow furrowing in concentration as he punches the room service number into it.

Silently, you look at him, pressing the tip of your index finger to the words 'tuna melt’ listed on the menu. Junmyeon nods, mimicking a drinking motion with his free hand at you with raised brows.

“Water is fine.” you mouth at him, pointing now to the liter of water on top of the mini fridge.

“Ah, yes, may I please order for room one one one five?” he says suddenly, eyes focused on your nakedness. His gaze ravishes you, “Yes, may I have two tuna melts…chips are fine…yes…thank you.”

He promptly hangs up, removing the phone from his ear and replacing it on the dock.

He sighs, reclining against the pillows once more, “Twenty minutes.”

“All good. Um…” you begin, your eyes loitering around the open door of the bathroom, “…my clothes…”

He smiles with a cocked brow and lopsided grin, “I mean, I’m not complaining.” He makes sure to catch your eyes before he bites his lip and lets his gaze lower appreciatively down your body once more.

You swat at his chest playfully, “I’ll need to wear them when I go home, though.”

Pausing, he considers, “Hm… I’ll have them laundered for you tonight? For now, if you really insist on wearing clothes, you’re more than welcome to wear something of mine.”

The idea has you blushing, and your heart clenching at nothing. It seems so domestic, too intimate to be wearing his clothes, but you suppose in the event of an emergency, until your own come back, you’ll have to make due.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” he leans forward to kiss the tip of your nose and you relax once more, laying on your back. Junmyeon curls into you on his side, leaning over on one elbow. It feels natural when you pick up his hand, turning over the weight of it in your fingers to trace the lines of his palms.

He watches you quietly, “Do you read?” he questions, gesturing his head to his palm. You tip your head back to look up at him with a smile.

“A little.”

He hums curiously, “What does it say?”

You sigh heavily, “Well…” your fingers trace his line of stability, “You’ve got a long career ahead of you. This line here,” you run your fingers up and down, “They’re all deep, but this one is deepest. You’re relatively happy with the success you’ve found in life.”

He hums again in agreement, nosing your hairline, “Ah, yes, Suho is very happy.”

You ignore his remark, your eyes flicking up to serve him a look. “This is your life line.” your finger tickles his palm as you run it along the arch toward his thumb, “You’re healthy, and you’ll live a long life.”

“And this one,” you point to the line horizontally across his palm, “is your head line. It indicates your mental state, which is pretty nice. You’ve got a good noggin. Maybe that’s why you’re the leader.” you giggle.

He jokes with you, “Oh, yes. Definitely I was chosen as Exo’s leader because I have the best head lines in my palms.”

You scoff, “I was just saying. Anyway,” you chastise with a good-natured finality, “this one is your love line.” you comment, rubbing the pad of your thumb along the line, ending between his index and middle fingers. “They say the degree of the curve speaks how open you are.”

You make a point not to look at him, your brow knitting as you read it, “Yours is deep, which means you love deeply, but the line itself is not curved dramatically, which means you don’t open up easily, or you don’t explore and express that side of yourself very often or very well.”

He kisses your forehead, “I see.” adding, “I think that’s pretty accurate.” after a moment. His tone is sincere and simple, acknowledging the truth in what you’ve said, nothing more and nothing less. It simply is what it is.

You smile at him, pleased with his reaction. You always thought it was kind of cheesy and weird to read palms, but you enjoyed the knowledge nonetheless.

While reading and tracing your fingers along his palms, you couldn’t help but notice the pock marks, some scarred over and others half healed.

Junmyeon does his best to be nonchalant about your prodding fingers, tracing over the slight dips and splits. His breath catches when you pull the hand to your lips, kissing a few of the marks and rubbing over the entirety of his palm with your fingers. He doesn’t shy away from your questioning fingers and eyes. He just exists in this moment as himself and you find yourself touched by his trust.

“Sorry.” he mumbles.

Your eyes look to his face, “For what?”

He scoffs quietly, looking toward the door, “I don’t even know.”

Gently, he pulls his hand from yours, squinting at it with disdain and clenching a fist before releasing it, repeating the motion several times while he turns the hand over and back, spreading his fingers.

“It’s a nervous thing.” he says calmly, and you don’t need to ask to know what he means.

He lays his head down beside yours, “I don’t even realize I’m doing it. We’ll be sitting there in interviews or wherever and I’ve got my hands folded in front of me beneath the table and then we go back stage and I realize I’ve pulled the skin just enough to make a hole and I think…” his brows furrow slightly, deep brown eyes glancing to yours before he continues, “It’s an unconscious thing. Like playing with the hole in your jeans sort of, when you’re idle and you’re fidgety.”

You smile at him, drawing the hand back down to your chest, “It’s okay. Everyone has something like that.”

His answering soft smile is interrupted by a knocking on the door.

Junmyeon heaves himself from the bed, tossing you a look to cover up as he stuffs his legs into a pair of discarded track pants to answer the door.

You hear more than see him open it. There’s a whispered conversation you can’t see around the wall, until he rounds the corner to balance the tray of food on the corner of the bed. He leaves immediately and the bathroom light turns on.

Ah, the laundry.

You can hear the door close and the light from the bathroom clicks off just before he is back, rubbing his hands together with a grin. It pulls a laugh from your chest at his antics, over enthusiastically wriggling his fingers until they’re grabbing a foil-wrapped sandwich and handing it to you across the bed.

You eat in relative silence, only happy noises of your mutually delicious dinner permeating the air of the room. It doesn’t take long for either of you to polish off the meal, agreeing to give it a thumbs up, four out of five stars, considering it is hotel room service.

It is your turn to leave the bed this time, throwing balls of tinfoil into the waste basket and washing your hands. Upon your return, Junmyeon grabs your waist, dragging you back to the bed with claims of wanting dessert.

Just like that, wrapped up in one another, uncaring about your tuna flavored kisses, he has you again. Softly beneath him as he pushes into you slowly, intimately, savoring the feel of your heat. With his arm curled around the top of your head you feel safe and desired, chasing a high together for the third time before collapsing into a pile of warm laughter and falling asleep.

You roll over in your sleep, body dragging you from unconsciousness with a discomfort in your shoulders. You jolt awake to the sound of a pounding on the door, the sound of someone’s voice on the other side of it.

Delirious with sleep, Junmyeon stirs behind you, lifting his head from the pillow to look at the door with one eye barely squinted open.

“Yah, Hyung, I’m coming in!” an irritated voice quips from the door once more. Cold terror washes over you, mind suddenly sharp with clarity as you hear the door lock click and the weight of it opening.

Luckily, somewhere in your post coital bliss, you must have gotten chilly and crawled beneath the sheets although you were still very much naked.

A scowling man walks into the bulk of the room, his strong disapproving eyes landing on you and Junmyeon, “Hyung, it’s nearly eleven. We’ve gotta go, we’re late.”

You want to scream, eleven o'clock? The air in your lungs whooshes from your body momentarily until you realize you don’t have class today. Part of you is just a tiny bit sad you’ve wasted your prime morning study time though.

The man standing in front of the bed tosses a bag into the white linens, “I think these are yours.” he comments dryly. His expression is judgemental.

“Thanks.” is all you can think of to say.

“Alright, alright.” Junmyeon interjects, “We’re good, Sehun. Give me ten minutes.”

Sehun makes a sound of disagreement, voice laced with commanding authority in his irritation, “You’ve got five.”

Junmyeon removes his arms from you as he rises, uncaring if Sehun sees him in all of his glory. He still ensures the blankets are wrapped around your body before he gets out of bed.

The maknae turns away after collecting his own luggage from the other bed. He very pointedly looks you over before he looks at Junmyeon with nothing more than an annoyed sigh as he leaves.

Fully alert, you jump from the bed. You feel awful that he is late, more or less because of you. What if this fucks everything up and he is upset with you? What if their manager calls you out on it and tells you off?

You’re throwing your clothes on haphazardly, stuffing your arms into your denim jacket and throwing your bag over your shoulder, hissing as it thumps heavily against your back.

“I’m sorry I’ve made you late.” you chime in, watching Junmyeon struggle to school his hair into a decent shape before he gives up altogether, pushing it under a baseball cap.

“You didn’t.” he smiles, and you find yourself smiling right along with him.

“Besides,” he quips, zipping his luggage shut and stuffing his feet into his untied shoes, “The number of times Chanyeol and Baekhyun have been late for no reason at all is staggering. I’m allowed to be late for once.”

He holds the door open for you, stealing your lips in a chaste kiss just as you pass him at the threshold. Standing just outside the room are a handful of his members, waiting with various expressions. Minseok wears a mask of surprise, his eyes widening and looking between you and Junmyeon as if disbelieving everything you’re certain Sehun told him. Chanyeol and Baekhyun look delighted, and Jongdae’s face is painted with jealousy once he realizes who you are. The rest are missing.

Sehun’s expression alone makes you turn to Junmyeon awkwardly, waving goodbye too quickly to try and loiter. You know you can’t leave with him.

“I can take the stairs.” you say with a sheepish grin, your hand absently smoothing your hair from its mussed state at the crown of your head.

Junmyeon cuts in, “No, that’s a lot. Just come down after us.”

Nobody says anything and you don’t fight him on it, “Okay.”

Sehun presses the 'down’ button on the elevator, giving you a serious side eye. You step away from them, clearing your throat and looking out the window on the opposite wall. The specific shade of blue in the sky today is fascinating, you think.

Your eyes creep back to them as the door chimes and opens, the herd of them shuffling into the cramped elevator. Junmyeon is watching you in return, his smile a little wistful. He puts on a brace face, winking at you just before the doors slide shut and your own metallic reflection stares back at you.

You didn’t realize you were holding a breath until you are alone in the quiet elevator lobby on the eleventh floor. You feel as though your heart walked on that elevator with him, sinking to the ground and down, down, down with each floor they pass.

You’re in trouble.

[getalittleclosey]

under 100k larry fic recs

hi! i’m becca and i read...so much fic. these rec lists are an accumulation of fic that i’ve read or reread and extra loved from 2016-now. there’s a wide range of stuff here and i think there’s definitely something for everyone!! i divided them up by length so you can check out all those categories below!

please make sure to read tags and warnings on all these fics!! the only things i think i can guarantee is that these are all larry, there’s no non-con, no age play, no eating disorders, no mentions of bg, they end happy, and they’re mostly aus. oh and they’re all on ao3 and some are locked so you’ll need an account! anyway i hope y’all enjoy!!!

under 5k

under 10k

under 25k

under 50k

100k+

☆ somethin’ bout you by missandrogyny 60k

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

☆ tug-of-war by cherrystreet 63k

Louis' husband dies suddenly and he is left with nothing. Well, not really nothing. He has Harry. And a St. Bernard puppy named Link, whom his late husband left behind for him. Louis takes care of Link and Harry takes care of Louis. Everything is okay until suddenly, it isn't.

☆ cameras flashing by juliusschmidt 82k

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

☆ home to you by crowsonthewire 54k

“If someone wrote that for me I’d probably be a crying mess before it was even over. I’m crying a little right now actually.”

It’s about you, Harry’s brain screamed. I wrote it about you.

Gemma appeared in the doorway then and dragged Louis away. With one winking smile he was gone. Harry curled up and stuffed his face into his duvet so he could cry with no one hearing.

**** At fifteen, Harry wrote his first song for an oblivious seventeen year old Louis Tomlinson. Ten years later he’s a singer/songwriter who cant find any words for his second album and Louis is a closeted actor tired of LA.

They both try to run from the things weighing them down and in the process, they find each other.

☆ fate don’t know you by sincewewereeighteen 99k

“Just. How bad is it?”

Zayn sighs. Shit.

“Not that bad, really,” he says quickly as he scans Louis’ face. “It depends, really. The freshmen are all right and I think you’ll manage just fine with the sophomores.”

“But?”

“Seniors are always shit because they think they rule the school, and this specific class of juniors… Well, let’s say you’ll find a real troublemaker there. Some say he used to be a soft kid, but- I don’t know. Most teachers just leave him alone.” Zayn shrugs. “He walks around with a tough crowd. Guess no one wants to take their chances with him. This is Chicago after all.”

“D’you know the name of the kid?” Louis asks, already very curious to meet said person.

“His name is Harry Styles.” The other man responds. “You’re in for a treat with this one.”

[Or: The one in which Louis always hears thunder when Harry speaks and sees lightning when he glances at him.]

note: this is student/teacher so if that makes you uncomfortable please skip! harry’s 17 but he is still a student so power unbalance and all that but from what i remember it was tastefully done. just like....don’t do that irl obv jfkdaj

☆ like an endless summer by objectlesson 87k

“You just wanna go fawn over Styles as soon as possible,” Zayn grumbles.

“I do not. Plus, he probably got ugly this year. Eighteen is an awkward time...I bet he’s got acne and one of those terrible fuckboy haircuts all the hipsters are getting these days, with the shaved sides? Just watch, the first year we’re gonna get any time together is gonna be the first year I don’t have a stupid crush on him.”

---

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 6k of pwp

☆ back to how it was by lululawrence 53k

Harry carefully stood up and was on his way to the window to look outside when he ran his hand through his hair, and it stopped entirely too soon.

He froze then began fervently patting all over his head. Where was his hair? He’d been growing it out for a couple of years now and it was finally almost to the length he’d had as a goal the entire time. How could it have gotten cut off overnight?

Harry rushed over to the mirror hung on the wall adjacent to the window.

Oh shit. What the hell was happening? Harry leaned closer and saw that not only was his hair cropped shorter than he’d ever wanted to go again, but it looked like he had the beginning of crow’s feet by his eyes. Those definitely weren’t there yesterday! And what happened to his tattoos? He still had some of them, like the star and the letters he’d gotten for his mum and Gemma, but most of the rest were missing and there were a few he’d never seen before instead.

What. The. Fuck.

Or the one where Harry goes to bed angry with his bandmates and wakes up in a universe where One Direction was never formed and he has to find a way back home. Home definitely has nothing to do with his best friend and bandmate, Louis. That would be ridiculous.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 24k!

☆ when we were younger by dinosaursmate 76k

About a week after Harry started visiting this particular chat room, he was watching some kid argue with the whole room about football, personally disinterested as he tipped a bag of crisps into his mouth. He happily chomped on the crumbs, taking a swig from a glass of Ribena to wash them down, glancing at the screen and very nearly spat the squash back out again. His heart was pounding wildly. The display icon of the argumentative newcomer had caught his eye, and not in a good way. He gulped as he clicked the picture, and when it popped up in full resolution, his heart nearly fell right out of his arse. - Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

note: there’s a second part that’s 3k ziam centric

extra note: you don’t want to know how many episodes of catfish i’ve seen

☆ like cabbages and kings by you_explode 61k

When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland. There were rabbits wearing waistcoats and talking cats and ridiculous tea parties, and amidst all the absurdity, there was a boy. A boy with dimples, big green eyes and the sweetest soul Louis has ever known. Louis has always kept a place in his heart for that boy and for his funny dreamworld, and when he’s twenty-five and his life falls apart, it turns out Wonderland might not be so imaginary after all.

☆ knives don’t have your back by turnyourankle 51k

The lone survivor of an on campus massacre that claimed the lives of his four housemates, Harry is urged to take a sabbatical or transfer. Instead, he chooses to stay in school, move into the dorms, and overcome his fears.

He finds comfort in a budding friendship with Louis, an upperclassman who lives on his floor, not realizing that their relationship will bring him closer to his traumatizing past rather than further from it.

☆ loving you is free by littlelouishiccups 68k

Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn't been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

note: there are two other parts to this that are pretty much pwp. they’re 24k and 4k

☆  dance to the distortion by lis (domesticharry) 93k

Louis accidentally breaks Harry's camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.

☆ waiting on you by emma1234 77k

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 5k

☆ this wicked game by cherrystreet 70k

An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

note: i’ve seen maybe five episodes of the bachelor in my life and hated it but i have read every larry bachelor fic 

☆ coax the cold by mediawhore 86k

England, 1897.

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

☆ this feeling by orphan_account 59k

"Gonna play it back for you now." Louis clicked play and the song flooded through Harry’s headphones.

The sound of each others voices united into one, and the rhythm of the music carried their voices effortlessly. Harry’s insides tingled and a wave of shivers rolled down his spine.

Before the clip cut off, Harry turned to raise an eyebrow at Louis, and failed miserably at disguising his smile. Louis stared back at him in shock.

Or A Larry Duet AU

☆ love’s on the line, is that your final answer? by pearlydewdrops 53k

Harry can’t believe it when Louis, the boy he’s always had a tempestuous rivalry with, asks him to be his boyfriend. Well, pose as his boyfriend, that is—for a new television game show in which young couples are quizzed on how well they know each other for a jackpot of thirty grand.

Reluctantly, Harry agrees—because he's got student loans to pay off, hasn't he? What's the harm? And he can totally deal with keeping his secret thing for Louis under wraps too. This is all just to win some money. It's fine. No big deal. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, everything. Obviously.

☆ say your prayers by nothing_but 59k

Louis was left wondering what the fuck this encounter had been. Coming to this camp - especially after learning that it was a religious one - he had never expected to find himself in a bathroom with the attractive, strictly Catholic, not-gay-or-anything head counsellor making flirty remarks. Quite the opposite, to be honest.

Or the one where Harry, head counsellor at a Catholic summer camp, dedicates his time to what he loves most, year after year. It’s mostly the same every summer; the place, the topics, the games. This year, however, there’s a new assistant counsellor stumbling into his camp, and possibly his heart.

☆ i’ll crash until you notice me by stylinsoncity 61k

Louis sets off to Barbados to oversee the massive resort his family owns known as Sandy Hill. For years, he's been looking for a change in the monotony of his life, seeking adventure and perhaps love too. What he doesn't expect is the bright eyed boy who spills a milkshake on his shoes.

Cue the summer loving.

note: zendaya is listed as a character in this which desperately makes me want to reread it because i don’t remember that!!!

☆ nothing but you on my mind by nonsensedarling 84k

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

☆ ghost note symphony by whoknows 96k

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

☆ thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in by nonsense_darling 52k

Harry's alpha fraternity donates to a local thrift shop (because of Liam's latent crush on a cute beta in his lecture). Louis' financial situation (and confusing omega instincts) lead him to make some interesting fashion purchases. Lots of pizza, feelings, and not-really-lying.   

☆ here in the afterglow by fondleeds 89k

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

-

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

note: i can’t believe i waited until 2020 to read this...it was life changing tbh and i cried

☆ just call me inspiration by hereforlou 52k

The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.

(Or, the one where Louis is a writer, Harry is an art student, and they inspire each other in very different ways.)

☆ truly, madly, deeply (10 things i hate about you) by sunsetmog 54k

The first Louis had heard of Harry auditioning for X Factor was the night he'd turned up on Louis' doorstep the day before leaving for Boot Camp, with a DVD and an illicit bottle of vodka.

Thing was, Louis hated secrets, and he really hated being made a fool of, and he really, really hated Harry Styles.

or: the one in which they're all in sixth form together, and Harry auditions for X Factor without them.

note: this has always been a fav

☆ the impossible now by stylinsoncity 65k

A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

☆ swallow the knife by whoknows 76k

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

note: i don’t even normally like non-aus but i have read this fic five times in the last nine months so. there’s that. 

extra note: there’s an 11k alternate sex scene here

☆ perfect storm by cherrystreet 80k

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

☆ anyplace, anyhow, anytime by aimmyarrowshigh, colazitron 81k

Harry's going to audition for The X-Factor in a few days, he really can't use this persistent tickle in his throat. What's even worse is when the tickle turns into a full blown cough, and the cough makes him pass out only for Harry to wake up in a different world. And then another one, and another one, and another one. The only other person who seems to be as affected as he is, is a boy with blue eyes who keeps showing up in every single one of these worlds.

note: i reread all of aimmyarrowhigh’s larry fics this year including the 500k or whatever sheylinson verse and i thought about putting them all in here but like...felt excessive & i figured i’d give attention to a less well known one, plus this way we get colazitron too! 

☆ the second hand unwinds by kingsofeverything (fullonlarry) 52k

Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.

☆ waiting for the tides to meet by nauticalleeds (metamorphosis) 60k

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

☆ keep my candle bright by whisperdlullaby 79k

louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

☆ strawberries & cigarettes by dimpled_halo 77k

Harry looks up and immediately freezes. Next to Ms. Archie stands the boy from just the other day. The boy with the leather jacket and chipped black nails, that might or might not be sketched in the very book Harry has just placed on the table in front of him. The leather jacket is missing today, probably because they aren’t allowed as part of their required uniform attire, but Harry can still see the fading black nail polish on his nails, and eyeliner around his eyes. Harry’s mouth goes a little dry. This boy is so intriguing to him.

“Ye-yes, Ms. Archie?” Harry tries to play it cool, but he’s almost positive that his cheeks are burning red, and he’s relieved neither of them can tell how fast his heart is beating in his chest.

The boy seems to also recognize Harry, because his lips curve into a knowing smirk.

“Harry is at the top of his class. He’s your best bet at getting familiar with things around here.” She explains.

Louis nods, his smirk still very prominent on his face. “Thank you Ms. Archie. I’ll be sure to take advantage of young Harold here.”

*

Summary: Two stories, eleven years, and the two boys that never stopped loving each other.