#(that's a better tag than the general one for me cos i liked the first bit a lot)

[nostalgia-tblr]

further loki s2 bitching (skip if u wanna)

Loki S2 either forgot about the variants concept or ditched it as too likely to draw the audience's attention to Sylvie-as-a-Loki and either way the variant stuff was MY FAVOURITE PART so thanks for that guys :|

[kimikitti]

Hi! Sorry if there’s a lore doc or something I missed but I saw your new Obi design and the overblot doodles and would love to know the lore! From my understanding, Obi can consume magic? Did he use that to tame overblots? I’m completely enamored by the idea that all these big scary monsters are just hanging out in Ramshackle. Are the house wardens comfortable visiting with them around?

Co-parenting with the manifestation of your childhood trauma is always better with a smoothie.

(LOL there is no lore doc. It's just me cryptically posting about Obi and the phantoms and then bouncing. Thank you for the wonderful opportunity for me to rant about the lore I have bouncing around my brain. Also, I probably should make a tag to make all this lore stay in one place. Rant below the cut (May contain slight spoilers))

Obi and the phantoms:

To answer your first question: Yes, Obi can consume magic. In fact, he needs to consume it to survive. When he consumes magic, they taste like words and information. If he eats a spell, Obi gains an understanding of the spell's nature and effects. Repeated consumption of the same spell can lead to greater revelations. Obi is not totally conscious of this ability, as the information he gains seems to have always existed to him.

Did he use that to tame overblots?

No, the phantoms are not really beings that can be tamed. Obi devoured them during the overblot. And wakes up with a book in his clutches. Said books are how he summons the phantoms once again.

Each phantom takes on a personality and ability separate but similar to their original creator. Some phantoms are more willing than others to be cooperative.

Obi doesn't really mind much. Unwanted creations should stick together. It's better than being alone.

Are the house wardens comfortable visiting with them around?

Some of them are, for some it takes more time to warm up to the idea of the phantoms. After all, its hard to be totally ok with a being born of their worse moments. I can run through some general attitudes.

Riddle: Absolutely terrified at first. But seems dedicated to "educating" his phantom. He comes around a lot. (The phantom loves this)

Leona: Comes by frequently but he does not seem to show a strong interest in his own phantom, brings meat. (The phantom also appears uninterested in its creator, but has been seen curling around leona while he's taking a nap)

Azul: Does not come by at all. (The phantom hates this, but understands)

Jamil: The phantom often seeks Jamil out frequently, seems to have a strong desire to bring gifts to its creator. It is unclear how Jamil feels about this. (Jamil is unsure about this, Kalim loves this)

Vil: The phantom hides from Vil. It is ashamed. (Vil dislikes this, but is trying to coax it out)

Idia: Ortho... sleeps most of the time. He wishes to be near his brother but is often not strong enough to be the dominant desire among them. Idia and Ortho visit frequently they love to play video games together. (Ortho loves this)

Malleus:

(I honestly love coming up with the phantoms and their respective lore so if you're interested to learn more please let me know! Thank you for the questions)

[fizzbot]

APOLOGY TOUR SPOILERS / HELLUVA BOSS CRITICAL POST

(please just dont read if youre a fan/are gonna be annoying in my tags/replies)

i LOVE verosika. i was super excited to see an episode all about her. she has EVERY right to be mad at blitz, and i do enjoy seeing things from the perspective of his victims. BUT.....i was really disappointed in her portrayal in apology tour. MOSTLY just because i was dissapointed in stolas portrayal in apology tour, and think this ep wouldve been better if it was more about BLITZ instead. rant under the cut

im not gonna give the whole rant about how annoying it is that stolas is constantly woobified, because 100 critical blogs have done it much more gracefully than i ever could. but it is just SO dissapointing to watch a man that couldve been SUCH a compelling villain be the ONLY one who is EVER sympathized with in the show. we are supposed to feel bad for him and believe that both sides are wrong in the stolitz situation, when stolas' crimes are SO MUCH WORSE than all of blitzs bad deeds combined. he co-erced blitz into a sex contract as the only means of doing his job, and then made HIM feel guilty for not falling n love with him during it. the 'both sides are in the wrong' comment gets particularly frustrating when the show has, tme and time again, only let stolas be the one with support. blitz is made to look unreasonable, no matter how right he is. and, in this instance, stolas is the one getting invited to this party to celebrate being ""wronged"" by blitz.

back to verosika. especially now that the episode is out, i am even more firmly on her side. the fact that blitz broke up with HER because things were getting too serious is interesting (albiet not as interesting as i think it couldve been but thats a rant for another post). im not saying she should forgive blitz, but i do struggle to fully agree with her because of how she treated stolas in the episode. she is the first to comfort him, the first to try and encourage him to shit-talk blitz, etc etc and i just dont understand.....why?

ive already had problems with her character since the sexual assault ""joke"" from spring broken, but this also really left a bad taste in my mouth. i totally understand her desire to party and sympathize with other people who were harmed by blitz, but its frustrating that stolas was invited to be among them. stolas, the man who is very much NOT THE VICTIM in his relationship with blitz. this is more the fault of the writers than verosika herself, but it is SO FRUSTRATING that she gave him the spotlight and is trying to help him heal from a situation that is ENTIRELY HIS FAULT. stolas didnt just hurt blitzs feelings, he sexually coerced and abused him. of all people, shouldnt verosika understand how terrible that can be? the kind of hurt that can do to a person? im not saying that this terrible relationship FORGIVES blitz's wrongdoings, but you shouldnt be giving his fucking abuser a stage and a microphone to talk shit about his victim. this becomes so much more insidious to me with the conversation she has with blitz on the balcony, later. this was actually a pretty good scene imo but it could certainly be better.

this is much more opinionated and i wouldnt be surprised if even the critical community isnt with me on this one, but i long for an alternate verson of this episode thats focused on verosika being on blitz's side, instead. its been over 5 years since they dated, and even though she is still allowed to be mad, it would be nice to see that shes moved on. maybe give her a new partner like barbie wire and let her throw these parties just so she can look back and laugh and help blitz's other victims heal in the same way that she has. not to bring up an also not-great show, but in rick and morty, we see a relationship between rick and one of his ex-partners named unity. they were really terrible for each other, enabling bad/unhealthy behaviors, generally being awful. their break-up was messy, but in recent seasons, we see unity coming back, upon hearing that rick was doing something self-destructive. they worried about him, because a part of them still cared, as much as they were hurt by his actions. i would have LOVED to see a similar thing with blitz and verosika, where verosika finds out about the relationship blitz is trapped in/just got out of. i think it would be SO MUCH MORE naratively interesting, for her to be supportive of his little apology tour, and maybe even inviting HIM to the "blitzo sucks" party. not everyone (or anyone) needs to forgive him; in fact, i think coming to this party would give him perspective. his relationship with stolas has hurt him so badly, he can finally step back and understand the harm that he did to all these people. the apologies that he gave, as he admits in the episode, were shallow. but i think framing stolas as the toxic one would be better in helping him realize that he has done wrong more than what the show is currently doing. and maybe some people at the party WILL forgive him. maybe he can apologize on the stage, and some people will empathize with his situation and believe that the apology is genuine, because hes finally had to be on the other end of his own hurt. and maybe THAT would be the first step in helping blitz realize that maybe he isnt completely unlovable, because there are people who cared about him enough to be THIS DEVASTATED upon getting their heart broken by him. a conversation with verosika about what he did to her would hit so much harder after this, imo

anyway. im sorry if this is completely incoherent/a bad point. i was just thinking about it and i am so sick of everyone being a stolas apologist </3

[ninapi]

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- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ First Born❜ (Halloween Special)┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

Premise: Being an older brother once more was beyond exhilarating for Choso, he never expected though to find love by his little brother's side, his pretty and kind childhood friend bringing a softness into his life he didn't know it was possible one Halloween night.

Word Count: 3243

Note: this is a Semi AU, meaning the characters are who they are in the series, yet the timeline doesn’t match the original story.

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Choso has been a big brother since he can remember, that’s his number one trait and the one he is more proud of in general.

Therefore, loosing his two younger brothers continues to sting to this day.

Gaining a ‘new brother’ or finding a ‘lost brother’ which ever you wanna call it, gave him a new sense of purpose, a new reason to live and continue growing as a person.

His number one flaw though, was how unemotional he was. 

To Yuuji, Choso was embarrassing. 

He never gets the jokes, more like he can’t even laugh on his own like if his face muscles were forever stiff, a spoon could get social cues better than him; he says the most embarrassing things at the worst timing too and this brings us to this moment.

Yuuji had been flirting with the girl that worked a part time at the donut shop close by for about a month. He would always stop by and buy even if it was just one donut to munch on his way to school just so he could see her smile for a couple of minutes; he even went as far as to ask for her number last time he was there; though today, Choso tagged along and was currently glaring at said beauty for getting ‘too close’ to his brother. “What is it that you want woman? I won’t let you get your smitten paws over my little brother, you hear me? You won’t ever understand how precious he is, must be protected at all cost.”

“Oh my god…just what do you think you’re doing?? Ruining my life?? Didn’t I tell you to stay outside with Fushiguro??” 

“Itadori-kun, I think your brother is right, I don’t think I can handle such a precious boy….” the girl couldn’t hold her laugh any longer, same thing as her co-workers who witnessed the scene.

“That’s it. I’m never taking you out again. Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get her to even look at me??” Yuuji was so disheartened, he opted to sit down on the sidewalk, contemplating the meaning of life while hating on his new older brother.

“I…I was just trying to-“ 

“I know, I know…just trying to be a good older brother…But have you stopped for a second and think that maybe not everyone wants to hurt me? I’m strong enough to defend myself, a pretty little thing like her wouldn’t even dream of hurting anything but my heart…” he sniffs dramatically, burying his face on his hands.

“You can die immediately if someone hurts your heart, idiot…”

This was the last drop of patience within him, “NOT literally, OK? I don’t mean my internal organ, I mean the feelings side of the heart!!”

“That’s not in your heart but your brain. You can also die if someone hurts you there-“

“Just stop talking!!!” Megumi and Nobara were both laughing their asses off at their banter, truth is Nobara saw the girl flirt with at least four different guys in just a week, she had been trying to warn her friend about her, so it was actually a good thing having dense Choso around to break the spell she had on him; that didn’t make it any less funny though.

“Itadori don’t be so hard on him, he’s pouting again.”

“I am not doing such thing-“

“Yes you are, man…” Megumi let out a deep sigh, walking on the opposite direction wanting nothing to do with the loud display of idiocy in front of him.

“Hey Fushiguro! Where are you going? We still need to discuss our plans for the party!” Yuuji yelled after him a little too loud, causing Megumi to flinch and return just to shut him up. “There’s nothing to discuss…Just be there around 9PM, you have to wear a costume or they won’t let you in, those are the rules.”

“Did you choose one already? I never pegged you for someone who’d like halloween parties~” giggling, Nobara elbowed Yuuji on the ribs wanting him to team up with her to tease their friend.

“I bet he’ll wear something ridiculous, like one of those giant carrot costumes.” bursting out laughing, both held each other from collapsing on the ground imagining carrotgumi.

“For your information, I will go as a vampire…I found dubious objects in a closet in Gojo-sensei’s, I mean back in the house…so I brought them with me for this party. Not like I want to go or anything but Maki-san threaten to shave my head in my sleep if I didn’t go…”

“Bald carrotgumi….” after one more outburst of intense laughter, the team bullying ended for the best. “I need a costume, would you go buy one with me, Kugisaki?”

All this time Choso has been quietly observing the entire thing. He knows his brother literally just said he wouldn’t take him out with him ever again, but he really wanted to prove him he could do better, that he wasn’t an embarrassment and that he was the best older brother there was to have, this was his chance. “Guys…do you think…do you think I can come with you…?” 

“No, never, non, forget about it.”

“B-but…”

“Listen, you just ruined my life! How do you even think I would take you with me again?”

“Poor guy, just let him come, Itadori…he always brings the funniest of conversations out. I like him.” Choso perked up a little at the support he was getting, even if he knew all she wanted was to mock his brother, at least someone wanted him there.

“Oh c’mon….What if he ruins it again?” 

“Just leave (Y/N) in baby sitting duty. She likes lost causes…” shrugging she started making her way to the costume shop, both of them tagging along.

“(Y/N)? I mean yes she does take recycling to an intense level and saves stray cats, but this is…this is something else, Kugisaki…” Choso’s lip was quivering once more, not wanting to face rejection for a third time on the same day by the person he wishes to please the most.

“Ok then how about we do this…” leaning close to Yuuji’s ear she whispers her plan with the most mischievous grin anyone has ever seen in their lives. To this Yuuji laughs for what feels like hours, having to stop in his tracks to wipe his tears away and calm down. “Ok, ok let’s ask him…” going over to his older brother, Yuuji bats his eyelashes prettily up at him, “Nii-chan…you can go…if you go dressed as the carrot Fushiguro isn’t wearing…”

Choso just nodded eagerly, not fully understanding what he was getting himself into. 

“Also, I won’t let you follow me around, I wanna get a girl in my bed by tonight, and you can’t stop me. I’ll ask my best friend to look after you. Understood?” this definitely wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted bonding time with his brother, have a nice time, maybe drink one of those beers he introduced him to the other day, not having to stay behind away from the fun dressed as a commonly disliked vegetable…but it was the chance he was looking for to prove he could behave.

“Is that a yes? Or-?”

“Yes, I will go.” Nobara was on her phone browsing for carrot costumes, not long after running on her way to the shop.

This would be a long night..

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The night was young, every known sorcerer and their friends and family were invited to this party.

Yuuji chose to dress as werewolf, while Nobara went dressed as a sexy nurse.

Choso though…let’s just say the carrot outfit didn’t suit him that well…

Wanting to get rid of him as soon as possible, Yuuji stopped you right at the entrance with a big grin plastered on his face. “(Y/N) my darling! My bestie! The light that shines above us…!”

“What do you want now-“ he was being too obvious, he only acts this way when he wants either money or nasty favors.

“Have you met my brother yet?”

“Your what-? I’ve lived next door my entire life and I’ve never seen a brother of yours-“ covering your mouth almost instantly, he glared at you, trying to get you to play along.

“O-oh…yes your brother! You told me about him the other day. No, I haven’t had the pleasure to meet him yet!” smiling on his direction, you walked over to him, taking both of his hands in yours.

“Hi! I’m (Y/N), it’s nice to finally meet you! By the way, what an adorable outfit you brought today! I wish I knew about them before, then we could have been two carrots instead of just one!” giggling at how good you were handling his worst nightmare, Yuuji sneaks away without you noticing; thing is, not only did you not notice, but neither did Choso, and that had never happen before.

“They also had tomatoes and an eggplant, but that one was too little, it would probably fit you though.” He nodded in thought, unable to figure out why the thought of you dressed like a tiny eggplant sounded so appealing. Was this why his brother wanted him to be a carrot? Did he actually look cute?

“I would have loved to be an eggplant! We could take a bunch of pictures, probably even win the costume contest!” your soft laughter brought a smile to his face, he’s never been treated this nicely before.

“What are you supposed to be though?” he eyed you from head to toe, making you blush. “I’m Godzilla~” you posed, letting out a cute little roar, his heart skipped a beat, cuteness has never been his thing but he could see the appeal of it now.

“I apologize, I do not know what that is, but it’s certainly cuter than an eggplant. They don’t make sounds...” his comment made you giggle giddily, why did Yuuji dislike him this much? He’s such a sweetheart…

“Hmm Godzilla is…a monster…he destroys cities and kicks buildings.” you tried your best to imitate it properly, earning a smile from him once more, making you feel accomplished.

“So like a curse? I’m half curse-” he looked at you with his eyes wide opened in realization.

“Nah, more like a cute big animal lost in a city full of ants.” he nods at this, before pointing to a table by the door. “They had animal shaped cookies in a bowl over there.” he didn’t know why but he felt the need to make you smile some more, to make you feel comfortable in his presence unlike the rest of his brother’s friends and seemed like you liked animals enough to dress like one.

“Do they? I bet they’re adorable. Would you like to eat some with me?” the way your eyes twinkled at this little piece of information made his stomach feel hollow, but it wasn’t a bad feeling, he kind of wanted to feel more of this, so he went over the table and poked all the cookies from the bowl until he was sure he’s gotten at least one of every single animal available in it. 

Megumi, who was sitting at the top of the stairs hiding from a drunk panda who was trying to get him to kiss his cousin, saw the entire scene unfold, and decided to intervene before Itadori ruined his moment if he caught him. “Choso…stop touching all the food just grab a handful she’ll like it anyways, trust me.” to his advice he nodded gratefully, making sure to grab some drinks as well.

“Here, I couldn’t find the elephant, I was sure I saw one when I went by that table earlier, apologies for not getting you the complete set. I got you some melon soda though, I hope you like it.” the back of his neck felt hot, he continued wondering why he wanted to please you this bad, is not like you were his little sister, not like he wanted you to be his sister- he wouldn’t be able to last a day before dying of cuteness overload.

“Don’t worry! I’m sure Mr.elephant found a nice home in someone else’s belly.” chuckling you grabbed a little bear cookie and pressed it to his lips, “Try it! It’s yumyum~” you danced happily at the taste, wanting to share the joy a good high quality cookie can bring to someone’s life.

To this he just gave out a short nod, getting the entire cookie into his mouth. This was all so new to him, was this why his brother kept insisting in taking a girl to his bed?

What would they even do there?

He would like to take you to his and eat elephant shaped cookies, maybe even talk a little, or watch a movie, he’s been really into them since his brother introduced him to horror films.

“Hey (Y/N) would you like to go to my room? It’s a bit far but we could walk there-“ before he could continue his sentence, a shoe came flying straight to his face, Megumi coming to pull him to the side, “I’m borrowing him for just a second (L/N), be right back.” 

He took Choso outside, away from prying eyes, a deep scowl on his face, “What on earth are you doing? You spend too much time with Itadori, he’s rubbing on you…”

“I thought you’re supposed to take nice girls to your bed…”

“I..ugh..WhAT? Who told you that? Never mind don’t answer…” letting out a long sigh he plops down on a bench prompting Choso to the same. “Look, man…it is true I guess, though the order is wrong. Remember how your brother talked to the same girl for months just to get her to like him?” nodding his head he was taking mental notes, Megumi rarely took his time to teach him anything, this must not go to waste.

“When you think a girl is nice or cute, pretty even. When she’s nice to you as well and you feel like you want more of her…” his nodding intensified, it was as if he was reading his mind, describing just how he was feeling that same moment.

“You have to treat her right, make nice things for her, be patient, don’t do anything impulsive. Girls are more delicate, you can’t be rough with them. Got it?”

“I knew it. I should have looked for that elephant cookie some more…” 

A rare smile appeared on Megumi’s face, Choso has been nothing but a pain to them when it doesn’t come to fighting, but he’s never seen this soft side of him, or maybe he had, just that Itadori always shuts him down unlike you.

“Yeah well, maybe next time you can buy her a bag, I’m sure the elephant will be there.” his eyes opened widely, he hadn’t thought about that, fantastic idea.

“You’re a great guy, Fushiguro, I appreciate your advise. I can be your older brother too, if you ever need one...” with a small smile on his face, Megumi walked away back to his room, he'd have enough of this party already.

“Go back to her, before someone steals her away~” running back inside, his heart came back to his body when he saw you patiently waiting for him inside, fidgeting with your fingers.

“I have returned. Fushiguro just told me we can find the elephant cookie if I get you a new pack of cookies. Would you like to go buy one with me?”

“Right now?” that smile of yours will end up causing him heart failure, he was sure of that now.

“Or later, when you have time, if you want that is…we can also go back for the eggplant dress, if you’re tired of being Godzilla.” It was pretty obvious to you by now that he was trying to get you out of this party, you weren’t what others would call a 'party animal’, you only went because your best friend called you over; the same best friend who’s been flirting with every single girl in the room and has not addressed you for the longest time.

“I think they sell them in the supermarket down the street, lets go~!” pulling him by his hand, you both walked in silence as none of you knew what to say.

“So, how is Yuuji as a younger brother? If he’s mean to you tell me, I will kick his ass…” you knew your bestie, he could be really sweet as much as he can be a real ass when he wants to be.

“He’s great. I wish we could get along better though…but it’s hard to know what he wants. I wished everyone would be happy with animal cookies…”

“I think it’s easy getting along with you though. You’re sweet and gentle, funny too.” Choso has never been complimented before, not like this at least…was this what his brother called ‘flirting’?

“I…well I think you are all those things too…nobody has ever treated me this nice before…” his comment managed to sadden you more than anything, stopping you on your tracks to place a hand on his cheek gently.

“Then how about we see each other some more? I need you to see how special you are.” your smile was so bright, so comforting…his chest ached but in a pleasant way, he kind of wanted to rip his own heart out just to see the chemical reaction occurring within his body in this very second, his blood even felt more powerful, he could kill Gojo Satoru right now, he was sure of it. But all he wanted was to count cookies with you while looking at the night sky.

“Can we? See each other again? I mean after the cookies...?”

“Of course! Lets do all sorts of things together! Have you ever been to a theme park? Maybe I can get the eggplant costume and we could both go dressed as vegetables, that’d be fun!” your arm wrapped around his as you walked towards the supermarket.

“I’ve never been to one, no.”

“Then we totally have to go! We could play some video games too! Oh and we definitely need to go to that new crepe place down town, I heard you need a reservation and all!”

“Why do you want to go with me to all those places?” he was honestly confused, he’s been facing so much rejection that this fuzzy feeling in his chest was starting to cause some concern.

“That’s what friends do, right? Besides, I think you’re really cute…maybe…we could…you know…one of those days we go out…only if you’d like of course…we could maybe say it’s a date?” you smiled nervously up at him, he’s never seen such beauty in his entire life, not even the drawing his little brother made for him when they were little was this pretty. “I would like that very much…”

Being the first born of four brothers had its benefits as much as it has its flaws, but tonight he was sure of one thing, he was glad of getting in his little brothers nerves enough to get him to dump him with the cutest girl his eyes had ever lay on.

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Masterlist

[chut-je-dors]

Now I'm curious cause of your tag. What did Swedish media say about the eurovision thing?

Oof yeah, here's a post detailing it ... here another... Basically they've absolutely flipped over the fact that Finnish public didn't give Loreen points at all (which I find absolutely hilarious) and suddenly started wielding such rhetoric as "the former eastern part of our kingdom" referring to Finland, which is???? like??? do I even need to say how Not Okay that is?

It might seem to some that the Finnish people are reacting to Sweden's (unfair) win and them being sore winners (which, points to them, I didn't know was possible!) with too much drama, but it's all tied to our history together. Finland has traditionally seen itself, and has been seen by other countries (Sweden included) as the sort of "little brother" to the more advanced, better-faring, glorious Sweden. While Sweden to my knowledge doesn't much care about what Finland gets up to (perhaps overlooking/ignoring us and our merits), Finland is always comparing itself to Sweden and trying to live up to it. It's a very common rhetoric and sort of, the atmosphere over here. We know more about Sweden than Sweden knows about us; we're constantly conscious that Sweden exists. Sweden gets talked about in international news; Finland, if mentioned, is often tied to - you guessed it - being Sweden's neighboring country.

We used to be part of Sweden for 600 years. During that time, Swedish was implemented as the language of the culture and the "civilised" whereas the finns living in the eAstErn pArT oF tHe kiNgDoM were seen as "wild" and "uncivilised" and just, generally a lesser people to the Swedish speaking population. We haven't been under Sweden's rule for some 200 years and STILL we can't seem to shake their influence on us. Swedish is still a mandatory language to learn at school (and I have many opinions on that, but that'd be another post). Finnish as a language has been disregarded for its whole existence. Our leading national thinkers and poets in the 19th century, who were the first ones to really push for the Finnish identity instead of us seeing ourselves as part of Sweden or Russia, wrote in Swedish. The first novel in Finnish was published in 1870.

So this is monumental to us, to have the whole word watching Finland and not Sweden. Finland has a lot of merits, especially considering how small a people we are (just 5,5mil). To have a song in our language, in Finnish be this popular, is something we couldn't have imagined. We as a people are humble to the extreme, so much that we might easily scorn anyone who is too successful (not a good thing!), and this is the first time in my life that I'm seeing the whole country rally behind someone like this. When we say "Our Jere" we mean it with our whole hearts. We're so so proud of him, everyone is, and for once Finnish people seem to think in unison that someone deserves all the praise and the success.

SO, to have Sweden in this UNIQUE moment of Finland raising its head and being "we're so amazing", with the rest of Europe going "yes you're so amazing!!", spew rhetoric like this, is just, unbelievable to me. Like I can't just believe that in the 21st century there are people in Sweden who hold up 200 year old thought patterns of our country. It's been shocking 'cos though there's always been rivalry, it's felt more... tongue in cheek. We "love to hate" Sweden over here. It's been "I hate Sweden (affectionate)". But now we find this unbelievably condescending and belittling attitude towards us raising its head, and we wonder, we thought we two were okay?? But have they always held these beliefs???

So there's a sense of betrayal in the air as well. And just, full on disbelief. And maybe we're starting to see that it has been like this all along, but we've decided to turn a blind eye to it? True colours shining through? Perhaps not... but yeah.

Sweden not looking good here!

(here's one more post that says the same that i did but was better at making it SHORT oops)

[heyclickadee]

Guys, I’m gonna need the fandom to stop being weird about Phee.

Okay, so, first off, I’m not back. I’m still on break; I just logged in to check on the DMs? Made the mistake of checking the tags, and happened to see some real hot takes about Phee’s line about Tech and wrote this out before my better judgment kicked in. Two things:

1. From a narrative perspective, a NARRATIVE perspective, not a character perspective, a narrative perspective, Phee’s line has the exact same function as every other mention of Tech by the characters and visual reference to him through the season so far. We haven’t seen any single character process Tech’s “death.” And by processing Tech’s death, I mean that we haven’t seen a single character come to terms with it the way we, for example, saw Omega and Tech come to terms with Echo’s departure, or the entire ghost crew come to terms with Kanan’s death in Rebels.

In refusing to show us this, the show refuses to allow the audience to internalize Tech’s death as an actual event that has consequences and is expected to stick. In addition to this, the show pokes at us at least once an episode, whether by a single line or by visual cues, to remind us of Tech’s absence. In so doing, the show refuses to allow the audience to fully let Tech go; this only makes sense from a writing perspective if the absence is temporary and the much needed catharsis after an event like the first five minutes of “Plan 99” is going to come from something other than processing the character’s death—something like letting him come back. Phee’s line is just another one of those jabs reminding us that Tech is absent.

(Before anyone comes in here saying that they’re probably mourning Tech off-screen: They probably are. That’s not the point. The point is that there is purpose in what writers choose to emphasize. They have had plenty of opportunity to show us Omega or someone coming to terms with what happened, and plenty of time to do even more than that, because not only are they willing to stop for emotional moments—half the season so far has been Crosshair’s extended emotional moment and catharsis from two seasons of buildup. I’m actually not willing to argue about this at this point.)

2. The way Phee talks here is the way that every character has been talking about Tech the whole season. She’s not unique. The Tech mentions have largely been informative and impersonal—just enough to hurt, not enough to derail a conversation. The emphasis has not been on the loss of him as a person, but instead on his absence and how that makes life difficult. Once again, from a narrative perspective, this is because getting personal with the Tech mentions leads directly into the characters actually processing their loss; and since the show is not allowing that processing to happen since it’s almost definitely bringing him back, the little, slightly impersonal mention once an episode is as far as it can go in bringing Tech up. And since it doesn’t want us to forget about him either, that’s what we end up with. It’s not bad just because Phee did it too now.

3. From a character perspective generally speaking (of the whole cast), the way the mentions work reads to me as ambiguous grief. Remember that Hunter and co. never recovered a body, never really saw any evidence, and don’t really know what happened to Tech in the end. And, speaking from personal experience, not knowing can be emotionally paralyzing and can leave you incapable of processing your loss, because you don’t know if it’s a loss or not. They come across to me as stuck and unable to to anything that we see besides noting that he’s not there. He’s gone, they don’t know where he is; he might be dead, and he might not.

4. And, speaking of Phee specifically: Phee’s mention of Tech wasn’t overtly sad, but neither was Omega’s mention of Tech back in “Shadow’s of Tantiss.” Not everyone cries every time they bring up someone they lost. I don’t. Don’t expect everyone to outwardly react the way you want them too, please.

And, frankly (this IS a hill I will die on) Phee brought Tech up out of nowhere. They weren’t talking about him. She brought him up completely unprompted in an unrelated conversation, meaning he’s on her mind, meaning that, no, she’s not over it.

PS: Do not come into my notes and bring up Fives and the lack of Fives discussion in TBB. I love Fives, I love the domino twins, but Fives was a secondary character on a completely different show with a completely different kind of narrative structure. Not bringing him up in this show is not the same as not allowing the characters or audience to process the happened to Tech.

PPS: I’m sorry if I sound salty in this. I am. This isn’t really directed at anyone I follow or interact with on her, or really anyone who follows me; this is directed at certain parts of the larger fandom that are kind of exhausting.

PPPS: If anyone comes into this post to call me delusional for still thinking Tech is coming back because that’s literally what they’ve set up on screen, they’re getting instablocked.

PPPPS: Don’t @ the cast and crew on Twitter, guys. Just don’t. Think about what they’re doing and what you’re doing, and don’t.

[goodnightoilcountry]

don't overthink when you could be loving me - sebastian aho

summary: Your inadvertent friendship with some of the Canes players was not something you advertized in your day-to-day life. But an evening of Friday night drinks changes that when you find yourself trapped in the same bar with your co-workers and one love-struck Sebastian Aho who’s determined to make it known that you’re spoken for… well, tentatively that is. 

word count: 6.2k

author's note: one month in the making and i'm not even convinced that this is of any quality. but if i don't put it out now, i never will. i'm going to do another proofread but don't worry, if there are going to be any edits, it'll just be fixing up typos / grammar.

tag list: @kashee-h

You won’t lie. You weren’t always the biggest believer in keeping your personal life and work life separate. 

Despite the numerous warnings about how “your colleagues are not your friends”, you couldn’t help but merge the two words into a synonymous figure. By this point in your life, you could probably ballpark that half of your closest friends were acquired from the various roles you were appointed. You’ve always felt like you’ve lucked out in that department. 

The moment when your luck seemed to wear out was at your very first grad role. 

With a newly minted finance degree in one hand and just about $50,000 in the other, the bar wasn’t set particularly high in terms of quality for a grad role. So when you received the congratulatory phone call from human resources, you didn’t care about the questionably low pay or how weirdly vague your interviewers were about overtime practices, you were just happy to finally have something substantial splashed across your resume. 

Your first month wasn’t anything to write home about. As expected, everyone was cordial, you were given grunt work, and you would routinely eat tune rice and veg for lunch - something that was weirdly unique to the corporate world. 

Where the comfort flipped was the night that the firm hosted its annual Thank You Dinner. What was announced as a company event hosted by the executives to say thank you to its employees for their efforts was actually disguised as a night of debauchery at the expense of the firm’s bottom line - but you didn’t know that yet. 

So when a passing comment about the Canes turns into a full-blown conversation piece at your table, your wine-induced lips couldn’t help but let something slip. 

It’s not like you ran around advertising the fact that you were family friends with Seth Jarvis growing up. But hockey culture was thriving in Raleigh and moments where a mention of the Canes wasn’t thrown into the mix rarely occurred. 

More often than not, you were happy to pass on any unused tickets that Seth had reserved in your name every year. Of course, generally, nobody questions where the tickets came from the first time around - free tickets are free tickets. But by the fourth round? Who would still believe that you just accidentally purchased lower-bowl seats not knowing you already had plans? 

You would eventually let up that maybe you were better acquainted with the Canes than on just a last-name and number basis. And the reactions that followed usually panned out the same way. You’d receive looks that crossed between amazement and disbelief, followed by thirty minutes of inquisitioning, and then the excitement of the news would eventually fade before moving on to something salacious that had happened earlier that week. 

But the news of your affiliation that night was volatile. 

Suddenly, your tickets weren’t viewed as a generous offering but rather as a right. People in different departments whom you had never met started taking you out for lunches with a casual mention of how they hadn’t ever been to a live game; your boss expected you to give them up for the sake of appeasing potential clients; girls would invite you out with the hopes of them showing up to wherever you were. 

You handed in your resignation six months later. 

So when you signed your letter of offer for your new role, you made a silent promise to yourself to keep that portion of your life separate. So, you distanced yourself. 

Seth had noticed. He had known that you would occasionally give up your tickets when you knew you weren’t able to make a game. But as more and more weeks had passed, he had maybe seen your seats filled twice: once by a few of your closest girlfriends and the other was when your parents had come to town for a long weekend. 

Outings with him and the team became infrequent as you declined to attend any sort of public event that would bear the risk of you being caught out by your new colleagues. And when you were eventually questioned why, you simply excused that your new job had you locked down. 

The second person to notice your increasing absence was Sebastian. 

Since Seth’s rookie days, you had been, on more than several occasions, his plus one to team events. And over the years, you had gotten to know some of the younger members who were able to keep up with Seth’s redbull-fueled energy. That included Sebastian. 

The first time you had actually properly spoken to him was at a Canes charity gala. Seth and KK had been swept into a conversation by a few board members, leaving you to quietly people-watch from your assigned seat. 

****

“Refill?” 

You turned to find Sebastian with an arm extended out; a glass of champagne delicately sat between his fingers. You returned a grateful smile as he sat down in Seth’s seat. 

“You manage to avoid the noise fest?” you lightly poked, looking over at Seth where Andrei and Jack were now caught. 

He let out a laugh and shook his head while looking down, “I’ve definitely done my fair share of the sucking up.”

“You didn’t feel like joining your boyfriend?” 

You choked on your drink as soon as the assumption left his mouth. You couldn’t help but begin laughing as you coughed up a response, “Oh my god, no. Seth and I grew up together back home. Our parents were close friends.” 

His cheeks flushed red at the revelation. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed because you’ve come to a few of these things with him before and you’re at our games a lot,” he tried to reason as he rubbed the back of his neck to ease the embarrassment. 

You shook your head with the same amused donned across your face, “he’s really never mentioned that we grew together as kids?”

“I’m sure he’s mentioned it but it’s hard to catch everything he says. He talks… a lot.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle at the blunt statement. 

You had found it easy to talk to Sebastian. The conversation flowed seamlessly, from the standard questioning of each other’s jobs to the shared ache of missing home. Before you knew it, Seth had returned with a sheepish look on his face; apologetic for his disappearance but not missing the flash of disappointment across his teammate’s face when you said goodnight. 

After that, the trajectory of your relationship with Sebastian had shifted into something more. Sure, you both became closer as friends, growing comfortable in the presence of one another. But as time went on you couldn’t help but feel like the line between you two would occasionally go hazy; blurring completely on a night out following a hard-fought win. 

****

Every summer that comes around reminds you of how incomprehensible the energy can be in Raleigh. 

The city came alive as holidayers passed through, the nights drew out longer, and the cool drinks were more than welcome from people who were looking to escape the heat. Which is how you found yourself sitting at a beer hall three blocks from your office in downtown Raleigh.  

Unsurprisingly, the bar was packed on a Friday evening and you could only expect it to ramp up even more when your eyes fell on the sight of a band setting up stage for the night. 

“Here, grab these first and I’ll bring over the rest.”

Maddy slides over 3 glasses to you and pulls out her card to start a tab for the table. You met Maddy on your first day when you were doing the round with HR. They had introduced her as your “office buddy”, to which Maddy later rolled her eyes at and reassured you that she wouldn’t be as micro-managing as they had made it out to be. 

She took you to lunch and gave you her version of the onboarding special which basically involved giving you the run down of who you didn’t want to piss off if you ever wanted to be promoted. 

It wasn’t long before you both became each other’s go-to person at work when things went to shit and sometimes the occasional debrief session at Thursday wines where she updated you about how her dating life was tracking. 

You pull together the glasses and place them into a firm grasp between your hands before turning around to make a beeline for the table with Maddy trailing behind you. There are a few familiar faces from your team and some that you don’t think you’ve ever met before but you know that Maddy is a big fan of getting into the good graces of other departments. 

Your phone screen lights up before you can even take a sip from the glass causing you to divert your attention. 

Last weekend before we’re due back for pre-season training. Come out with us tonight? - Jarvy 

You feel a pang of guilt with the sudden reminder that Seth just unintentionally gave you. 

Your MIA-ness had begun a month before the playoffs started. Granted you still followed every game from the comfort of your home, but your continued in-person absence did not go unnoticed. Even more so after the 4-0 Conference Finals loss to the Panthers, where Sebastian wanted nothing more than to feel the comfort of your presence to ease the heartbreak. 

Instead, he had to settle for an “I’m sorry.” text. 

And in your defence, you had tried to see him when they returned home but the timing was never quite right as Sebastian took off for Finland a few weeks later as a last-minute guest for his cousin’s wedding. 

You were able to catch Seth a handful of times before he also took flight: Winnipeg for home, Chicago for Lollapalooza, and Cabo with KK and Svech from the look of his Instagram stories. 

He waved away your apologies and said he understood that you were flat out with work and that he hoped you weren’t working yourself too hard. All you could do was return a meek smile and be thankful that he didn’t press about it further. 

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, trying to rack your brain for an excuse that wouldn’t leave any room for further persuasion. 

Sorry :( feeling too run down from the week. Next time though! 

You take one more look at your phone as Seth sends you the ‘Boo, You Whore!’ gif from Mean Girls, causing you to crack a small smile. 

“Better offer somewhere else?” 

Your head snaps up and meets the eyes of one of the unfamiliar faces sitting across you. 

“I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Charlie, I just joined the legal counsel,” he offers with a smile. And it’s a pretty damn good smile too.

You’re quickly swept up into a conversation with Charlie. You learn that he recently relocated from Boston, he has a labrador named Ollie, and that he’s heard of a fantastic restaurant down the road that he’s been “dying” to check out with someone. That last part is followed with a mischievous glint in his eyes.  

He’s not bad-looking, you’ll give him that much. Maybe a year ago he would have been your type. But lately, you’ve seemed to turn away from the sharp jawlines and blue eyes, and instead look for softer and warmer features with maybe a small scar carved into the bottom of their lip...

Wait, what? 

You shake the thought out of your head and instead focus back on Charlie’s current story: some embarrassing run-in with your boss, on his first day. 

You’re shaking from laughter at this point, “No way! Did she say anything to you later on?” 

Charlie grins as he places his head in his hands, “Yeah, it was such a shame job. When I got my first official meeting with her, it was-” 

You watch him trail off as his eyes dart to look at you. No, not at you. Behind you? 

“Well, well, well. Feeling better, eh?” 

You recognize that shit-eating tone anywhere. 

“Oh Jesus Christ,” you mutter under your breath. You turn around and find Seth smirking down at you like he’s found a deer in the headlights. 

“Must have been a pretty quick recovery considering you were sick only two hours ago,” he derides, sliding into the empty spot next to you. You’ve only just realized that your whole table is now empty besides you and Charlie. A quick whip around tells you that they’ve all moved to the nearby pool tables. 

“Seth,” you say calmly, “what are you doing here?” 

“I told you. Last weekend before practice starts.” 

“Yeah, but you don’t even like it here. I’ve literally heard you call it the worst bar in the world,” you argue back.

Seth’s about to open his mouth for some quick retaliation but Charlie beats him to it. 

“You’re Seth Jarvis,” he says. The look he gives is nothing short of bewilderment as he puts together that Seth Jarvis knows you. 

“Hey man, how you doing? Always nice to meet a fan,” Seth nods with an outstretched hand to Charlie. 

Charlie slowly shakes his hand, still reeling in from the newfound piece of information he’s just learned. “Oh, well I’m from Boston so not exactly a fan of you.” 

Seriously? Who even says something like that? 

You refuse to meet Seth’s side eye in an attempt to dodge the embarrassment you feel from Charlie’s unwarranted dig. He’s unsure how to respond to the hostility but the moment of awkwardness is cleared by a second voice appearing. 

“Jarvy, Burnsie found a table outside - let’s go...”

Your head snaps towards the voice and you find Sebastian looking right back. He’s taken aback and stumbles on his words for a second but recomposes himself just as quickly. 

“Hey, where have you b-,” he begins to step forward but falters as his eyes properly assess the scene before him. You and Charlie. Together. Alone. 

“Oh. Are you in the middle of something?” he hesitates, flickering between you and Charlie; unsure of what to make of the situation. 

Your eyes widen slightly before clearing your throat, “Oh, um no. This is Charlie. He recently moved to our office from Boston.” 

God, you feel so small right now. Here you were, seeing Sebastian for the first time in months and you can’t even muster up the courage to properly say hello. 

“Well, we’re gonna go back to our table. Find us at some point, yeah?” 

Seth gives Charlie a final cautious look before he pats Sebastian on the back, guiding them both to a table on the veranda. 

The rest of your group comes flooding back to the table having witnessed the sight unfold from afar. If Charlie keeps his mouth shut, surely you can play it off as a lucky fan interaction?

“Holy shit! Do you know who they were? Tell me you do because I will seriously freak if you tell me you don’t know,” Maddy furiously whispers with wide eyes. 

“I don’t know, Maddy. Seemed like she’s more than well-acquainted by the look on Aho’s face,” Charlie said dryly, bringing a bottle to his lips with a raised eyebrow. 

You’re a bit taken aback by his insinuation. 

“Um, Seth and I grew up together back home,” you slowly let out, “it was just a coincidence that we both ended up in Raleigh.” 

“Wait, so you’re telling me that you’re friends with Seth Jarvis? Are you kidding me? You’ve only heard me talk about the Canes like a thousand times,” she gapes at you with an incredulous look. 

Here we go. 

The rest of your group wasn’t privy to your admission, being too caught up with the sight of the team being mere yards away from them. 

“Look, I don’t know. I just don’t like using his name like that. It makes me feel gross.” you sigh, rubbing your arms. 

“I’d just rather we drop it. Please?” 

You shoot her a look to which Maddy softens; understanding that the topic has hit a bit of a sore spot for you. 

“Okay yeah, of course. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.” 

The mass intrigue of the boys’ presence soon dies off as people slowly realize that they’re about as interesting to watch drinking as the next table is. Conversations resume back to normal and you try your best to feign interest but the knowledge that he’s the closest that you guys have been in months won’t leave you alone. 

So twenty more minutes pass by and you’re ready to throw in the towel. You’ve decided that you’ll deal with the situation another day - preferably when you can string together a proper sentence. After a quick goodbye and the promise of a home-safe text to Maddy, you gather your things and start making headway for the exit. 

The weakness in you can’t help but take one final look at Sebastian before you step out for the night but he’s beaten you to it. His eyes are already fixed on you with the same look you had become all too familiar with. 

****

Saturday night. Seth’s Birthday. Shut-out win over Vegas. No game scheduled until Wednesday. 

Individually, they’re considered lawfully good events. Combined? It’s as if someone was testing to see if Carolina even knew the definition of chaos. And when have they ever backed down from a challenge? 

You let out a huff of air as you fall back into the booth. You had finally managed to escape Seth and Jesperi from the dance floor. If there was ever a case to be made about the negative long-term effects of Redbull, those two were it. 

“Oh my god, how were you even out there for that long?” 

Martin’s girlfriend, Nykki, opens up her arm and lets you lean in. Her leather jacket is a cool contrast to your warm and flushed body. 

“Don’t let them take me again,” you whine as the ache in your feet comes flooding in. She giggles and affectionately pats your head. 

Your eyes skim over the crowd, taking count of where everyone was. Brady, Kuzy and Martin by the bar. Andrei, Jack and Pyotr occupied with a group of girls. Seth and Jesperi still unabashedly dancing but now sporting a pair of shades that you had a sneaky suspicion they found on the floor. As if your eyes knew before your brain, they’re scanning the room again to find what’s missing. 

“He stepped away to the bathroom.” 

Your eyes tear away from the crowd and you sit yourself up, pulling the closest drink to your lips to avoid the direction Nykki is heading.

“He was watching you all night, you know? Didn’t listen to a damn thing I said,” she nudges with a knowing smirk. You didn’t think it was possible for your face to heat up anymore. Your continued silence doesn’t deter Nykki though as she decides that she will get you to admit something that you’re not even sure you’re ready to admit to yourself. 

“Why are you both dancing around this? It’s obvious that he likes you. And maybe you won’t ever admit it to me but I can tell that you like him,” Nykki softens, acutely aware that Sebastian could return to the booth at any moment. 

“Do you…” you hesitate, swirling the remnants of your drink in the glass. “Do you ever feel like you’re too exposed sometimes?” 

She furrows her brows, “What do you mean?” 

“There’s this thing that happens, and maybe it’s not often but it happens, where people expect things just because of who you know.

And if it’s true for just simply being friends with Seth, will it be worse if you’re involved with them?” 

“A hockey player definitely wasn’t my first choice,” she says after a moment. “And maybe I wish I knew what it would have meant to be with him.” 

“But,” she quickly recovers, watching your expression fall, “I wouldn’t change anything. It’s not about the world that he can offer me like everyone thinks it is. It’s how he always shows up for me, even when he’s 3000 miles away. It’s those private moments that are enough to make me forget the world is watching us.”

You catch the glowing adoration that’s etched into her face when she gazes across the room, watching her boyfriend laughing with Brady. You’re so wrapped up in ruminating over Nykki’s words that you almost don’t feel the way the cushion sinks next to you. 

“Are you done with that?” 

Sebastian’s voice grounds you back to reality. “Oh, I am but I’ll get another soon.” 

Before you can stop him, he slides back out of the booth again and flags down a bartender. And Nykki doesn’t take a beat to do the same, “I think I’ll join the others,” sending you a small wink. 

Sebastian slides back in setting down three glasses, two for you and one for him. “I thought you’d want some water too. Jarvy didn’t look like he was going to let you leave at any point,” he offers with a smile. 

You let out a laugh and shake your head, “The trick is to run the second he turns his back. Trust me, works every time.” 

“Did you have fun tonight?”

“Me? What about you? 3 assists and a goal? Surely that’s what we’re really celebrating tonight,” you whistle as you twirl the straw between your fingers. 

You don’t miss the way he almost immediately shies up, turning away with the crack of a smile threatening to take over.

“I couldn’t have done it without the guys, they make all of it happen,” he notions. 

You roll your eyes immediately, “I forget how well media-trained you guys are sometimes.” 

“You should be able to enjoy your successes. It’s not about the other guys not being talented, it’s about being able to reflect on how far you’ve come. All of this is the culmination of your dedication, Sebastian. It’s important to remember that.” 

The silence he returns suddenly fills you with regret. Did you say too much? Was it even your place to say anything at all? You need to backpeddle. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have -” you sigh, pushing away your drink. 

“No,” he quickly cuts, “I guess I’ve just never thought about it like that. But it does feel good to hear it.” 

“I like having you at our games” he smiles. “You know you’re part of my warm-up routine?” 

“I am?” 

“Yeah, I play this little game where I try to spell people’s names as fast as I can with the puck. I tried yours once and we won, so I did it the next night and we won again. Now I do it every game to put a little luck into the ice.”

Fuck. His confession renders you speechless. If there were any more doubts about your feelings for Sebastian, they were well and truly effaced now. And suddenly you gain a partial understanding of what Nykki meant. For every game, whether you’re there or not, Sebastian carves a part of you into it. 

You swallow, giving yourself a moment to recollect. “I didn’t think that I was such a game changer,” you softly let out.

You’re not exactly sure when or how it happened but you notice the proximity between you two has significantly lessened. And the arm he has strewn behind you on the top cap suddenly feels misplaced - like they would feel more at home around you. 

And for a brief moment - between the silence you’re both too afraid to break - his eyes break away from yours and flick towards your lips.

He inches closer, “You are… everything.” 

Your breath hitches. Before you can even stop yourself, your hand rests against his neck, gently pulling him in and Sebastian is more than willing to follow. This is it. 

“Guys! KK said his friend can get us into this new club!” 

Your eyes close shut and your hand drops down Sebastian. An agitated sigh leaves him as he reluctantly pulls back. You both look at each other, still caught in the moment that’s now fleed at the sound of Seth’s voice. 

Seth shakes Sebastian, forcing him to break away from your gaze. 

“Did you hear me? KK’s calling us an Uber,” Seth bounces. Not a beat later, Nykki appears and attempts to forcefully pull him away. But it’s Seth. And of course, rightfully so, he wants two of his best friends to come with. 

You quickly down the rest of your drink and step out of the booth, not wanting to bask in the awkwardness any longer. As you step outside, the chill of the wind grounds you back into reality, and you instinctively wrap your hands around your arms. In the peripheral of your vision, you see Nykki rush towards you. 

“I’m so sorry. I tried to grab onto him but he just moved so quickly.” 

You return a small smile, “It’s fine. Really.” 

You link arms with her and she guides you to the Uber that Martin is standing by with the door open. As Nykki climbs in, you turn your head and find Sebastian watching. 

He almost looks hopeful that you’ll follow him. That you’ll both leave the mess of the group behind and find solitude someplace else.

But you don’t. 

Instead, you give a small shake of your head and follow Nykki, with Martin firmly closing the door behind you. 

****

In the years you’ve watched Seth play in Raleigh, you’ve never once seen a game from the suite before. 

But the Monday morning after your run-in with the group, you find yourself opening a calendar invite from your boss to the first home game of the season with a few key clients. So now, you’re perched by the glass, watching the spotlights dancing around the ice and the crowds of people getting settled in for the night. 

“You know we’re meant to be chatting up the clients, right?” 

Of course, Charlie managed to be invited too. 

“I still haven’t been able to swing by that new restaurant I was telling you about. Could be fun to check it out afterwards,” he says, looking out towards the rink. 

“Thanks, Charlie but I think I’m just going to head home the game’s done,” you respond dryly.

He cocks his head with a raised brow, “You know they organized a meet and greet after the game right? The whole reason why we’re here is because the CEO’s son is a huge fan.” 

You don’t love the way your body freezes up at the newly shared information. You appreciated that your friendship with the team hadn’t made it past Maddy and Charlie’s lips, but you weren’t confident that would stay the same after tonight. And that’s the only thing that runs through your mind through all three periods. You can barely converse with the clients as you’re half-distracted by the get-away plan that you’re attempting to draw out in your mind, and it leaves your boss shooting you looks of “get your shit together”. 

The horn sounds off as soon as the clock hits zero. It’s evident that you’re not getting out of this and the only prayer you have left is that the players who join you are the younger rookies who have little to no idea who you are. But you know the chances of that are slim to none. 

You try to push away the anxiousness by listening to a conversation between your boss, Charlie, and the client. 

“All I’m saying is that the reason Boston didn’t make it past the first round was because of how shit some of the calls were against them,” Charlie rambles, oblivious to the unimpressed faces. 

The door of the suite swings open and you find Jordan, Brady, and Sebastian filing in. They’ve all clearly come straight from the showers, still dripping droplets of water from their hair onto the floor. They make their way around the room and shake everyone’s hands, thanking them for their support. Brady is the first to spot you as he gives you a surprised look followed by a welcoming smile. But he reads the panic in your eyes and - being classically perceptive - nods in understanding. 

It doesn’t take another second to pass for Sebastian to register your appearance and amongst the earlier crowding, you’re only now able to fully take in the way he’s dressed. His compression shirt sculpts against him, with the soft lines of his muscles pressing against the fabric. Shorts barely hanging loose against his thighs. A backwards cap sported to tie it all off. It’s enough to make you want to break your silent promise. 

Your eyes can’t help but fixate on him the entire time they circulate with everyone in the room. And while Sebastian tries his damn hardest to remain polite and focus on the conversation at hand, he can’t help but flicker his eyes towards you, making sure you won’t disappear on him again. 

“Thank you so much for your time. We won’t keep you guys any longer, but best of luck with the season ahead. Bring one home for us, hey?” your boss beams. Everyone else has headed home, leaving just you and Charlie waiting for your boss to let you go. 

“Goodnight guys. I’ll see you Monday.” 

And with that, it’s just the five of you left in the suite with a few people on the Hurricanes team off to the side. 

“Well, we better get going if we want to make it to that restaurant,” Charlie says turning towards you. 

Sebastian tenses at this and you see the way Jordan and Brady shoot each other a look. 

“I said I’m going home, Charlie.” You’re shutting this down. 

“I’ll give you a lift then,” he presses. 

Before you can open your mouth to counteract, Sebastian interjects, “You’re not far off from my place, I’ll take you.” 

“Yes, please!”

You’d be embarrassed with how quick you are to jump at his offer if it weren’t for the fact that you so desperately wanted to avoid being confined in a car with Charlie. 

“Thanks bro, but we’ve got it from here.” 

“Actually, I don’t think you do, bro.” 

Charlie looks between you two. Growing annoyed at the situation, he grabs his coat and retreats out of the suit. “Whatever. See you Monday.” 

A sigh leaves your lips and you don’t realize how taut your body is until it eases under the feeling of Sebastian's hand on your shoulder. 

“You guys all good if we take off?” Brady asks, expectedly. Sebastian nods and you all bid goodnight. 

“I just have to grab my things but if you’re tired I can just come back for them tomorrow,” he offers, as Brady and Jordan make their way out. 

You shake your head, “I can hold on, you’re doing me the favour.” 

It doesn’t take long to get back to the locker room, and you can’t help but think about how good he looks when he emerges with his hockey bag hung over one shoulder and a garment bag thrown over the other. 

As you lean against the passenger door, waiting for him to throw his things into the boot, you can’t help but start to grow nervous at the realisation that Sebastian may want to talk about that night. But your nervousness is cut short by Sebastian moving in front of you with a small disc in his hand. 

A puck. 

He looks down at it, fiddling with it between his hands, “It’s from the warm-up. I thought you might like it.”

It’s the puck.  

Your mouth falls open slightly, as you gingerly take it, as if you’re afraid it’ll break if you handle it too hard. 

“I can’t believe you still do that,” you breathe, turning it over, feeling the ridges where the ice has chipped the edges. 

“Of course I do. It changes the game.” 

Your eyes dart up at his choice of words - he remembers. 

“Why did you stop seeing us?” he puts forward. 

You sigh and lean back against the car, turning your head away. 

“Was it because of that night at Jarvy’s birthday? Did you not want to…” he trails off. Even he’s not sure what that night was meant to be. 

“This world that you’re in Sebastian, I just don’t know if it’s for me.”

“I know that we’re away a lot but I-” 

“It’s not that,” you quickly cut off. He returns a confused look and you know, as his eyes search you for an answer, that you owe him this explanation. 

“Before you came back to the table, I was talking to Nykki about how difficult it can get to be involved with a hockey player.” 

“But you’re already involved with us? You were friends with Seth already” he presses.  

“And look where it got me last time. I was forced to leave a job after six months because all anyone cared about was being closer to the Canes than me,” you lamented. 

“I just don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling like I’m second to the person I’m with; I want to feel equal to them. I want to know who is genuinely trying to be my friend. I want to exist outside of my relationship. I don’t want to have to hide in public because I’m scared to run into people from work.” 

You close your eyes, feeling exhausted by the flood of words leaving your mouth, and you half-expect Sebastian to get into his car and drive off. 

“I didn’t know.” 

You nod in understanding. How could you expect him to know? 

“I would never put you in a position where you wouldn’t feel safe,” he says softly.

“But if that’s what you really want, we can move on from everything. But I need you to know how I feel first.” His hand wraps around the side of your jaw and pulls your gaze towards him. 

“I wanted to know you the moment Seth pointed you out our game for the first time. And then we spoke at the charity gala and I only wanted to know you even more. And then you were around us more, and I got to know you beyond just being Seth’s friend. And what I know I know is that you’re smarter than you let on but you’re still kind. You’ve remained so grounded that you see me as more than just this job. You make me think more deeply than I ever have with anyone else and I don’t want to go back to a life before I had that.” 

You don’t know whether to cry or charge forward. Because after the endless rounds of almosts and what-ifs, you’ve finally caught each other. And the confessions that pour from his mouth left you knowing one thing for certain: you had both waited long enough.

And for the second time, you bring his neck down and finally close the gap between the two of you. Sebastian presses you against the car with his hand wrapping up to rest on the back of your neck, his lips deepening against yours. You never doubted it but his arms feel secure around you, afraid to let go and let the moment be over. 

But you pull away just long enough to let out a murmur, “Take me home, Sebastian” 

****

Six gruelling months pass by and you find yourself at a potential playoff-clinching game with your colleagues. 

Granted your relationship with Sebastian was still very much under wraps, but you had learned to navigate your feelings of discomfort towards the publicity of his job. Sebastian had accommodated your cautiousness. Careful to never spend too long in your section during a pre-game warm up. Made sure to drive around the quiet side of the arena to pick you up afterwards. He had never pushed you to do more than you needed to. 

But even though he’d never tell you, you know he’s quietly envious of the way the guys can openly skate with their partner at family skates. Or how they can sit and openly touch at company events. He had afforded you comfort at the expense of his wants. You wanted him to have more than this. And more importantly, you wanted to show him that you wanted more. 

So when the buzzer sounds off and the Canes skate away with another return to the Stanely Cup Playoffs, you can’t help but let go of the discontentment you have about being found out. So before you even know it, you find yourself moving towards the ice where Sebastian is wrapping up his post-game interview, ignoring the calls of Maddy asking where you’re going. 

And when you reach the board that separates you and your boyfriend, he doesn’t hesitate to skate over, collecting a puck from the equipment manager on the way. 

“Always nice to meet a fan,” he winks, offering his pre-game puck. 

You grin, pulling him forward by his jersey, “I appreciate it but I’ve gotta tell you that I’ve got a boyfriend.” 

His eyes melt at the sound of your public announcement and he catches your lips against his, “I love you so damn much.”

[casscainmainly]

So, I saw your Cass & Jason should fight (& Cass should win obviously) tag and totally agree with your stance!

However, given how often Jason's been characterized as an incompetent "Thug" due to classism, I'd ideally want it to let both characters shine, which can't happen in a pure CQC scenario.

At top form Jason's a bit better than Bruce, (UTRH - Comic) which is enough to not get instantly shit stomped but not really enough to make spectacle or show off either characters best side.

Not sure how one could arrange it in current comics, but my ideal was always an alt timeline where Bruce died or had to step down post War Games & was replaced by Cass.

Naturally the dynamic with Red Hood is different, in that there isn't one, he avoids the new Batman like the plague and relies on backdoor hacking & spying to work around or sabotage her.

Thus its been a steep learning curve and exploration of Cass's other skills, IE detective work, people reading, weapons expertise (We know she's trained in guns & such after all)

A series would be ideal, but if it was just one comic issue, ideally the first third sets up the status quo & what is about to break it.

The second third lets Jason's strategic side shine, he's got ambushes, bombs, flares, those miniguns popping out of cars he loved so much.

Then the third and final segment is when Cass has finally found wherever he slipped away to after thinking he got away.

"... I don't suppose all the guns and bombs wore you out enough to make this easy on me did they?"

Cassandra just smirks.

Cue the final third (Or at least a decent portion of it) being an epic, but pointedly one-sided overall, duel. With every weapon, martial arts technique and piece of scenery put to use. All in the name of dragging out the fight for the audiences sake and cos it makes sense character wise.

Naturally Cassandra wins.

Oh my goodness?? You should write comics because I would read the HELL out of that. I definitely think Jason's intelligence has been weirdly diminished recently (definitely classism, combined with DC's push since New 52 to make Tim the 'smart' one and Jason the 'strong' one because why were they LIKE that in B&R: Eternal).

And Cass' arc in learning detective skills is one of the most underrated things in Batgirl (2000) and beyond! She is a detective and, while she for sure punches her way through stuff, her intelligence shouldn't be sidelined for her fighting prowess. So basically you've written the arc of my dreams.

Also I adore the idea that whoever takes the mantle, Jason will be there to be super annoying. Happened to Dick, and will happen to Cass as well. He's a multi-generational hater.

Someone write this please!!!!

[gareleia]

THE KNITTING SAGA CONTINUES

update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!

previously: part 1

next: part 3 part 4 part 5

a continuation because I have no impulse control and am in dire need of more Aeolus content

first of all, let's establish one thing - and I think we can all agree on that - Aeolus loves to fuck with people. they are a benevolent(-ish?) trickster deity, and they revel in harmless pranks

as a consequence, they are on pretty good terms with Hermes. while Hermes doesn't care much for the 'small fry' and doesn't pay that much attention to the wind god most of the time, Aeolus has their winions follow the messenger god religiously (pun intended), because? where Hermes goes, shenanigans always follow.

so when they get the tea that he's apparently hanging out on that one random Greek island, playing nanny? oh, they know it's gotta be good. so naturally, they go to check it out.

well, turns out that Athena is also there, and both of them are sooo bad with babies, it's hilarious

Athena, holding baby!Telemachus: Ehhh, shouldn't it be eating more meat? it's body is so weak, it can't even hold a spear! Hermes, exasperated: oh my me, 'thena, that's not how humans work!! babies eat liquids first!! how can you not know that!! here you go, champ, drink some wine!! Aeolus, hiding in the leaves: holy shit these guys are dumb

so now they can't just leave Telemachus alone with Athena and Hermes! they might not be an expert on child rearing, but surely they can do better than those two dorks! and the baby is adorable.

so they decide to stick around. just for a little bit. a week tops.

fast forward a few years, and they have been raising the prince of Ithaca

Aeolus: *shocked pikachu face*

and Aeolus is the much needed chaotic good influence to Hermes' chaotic neutral and Athena's lawful neutral.

the thing is, Aeolus is really good at hiding. so good, in fact, that no one but Telemachus had even realized they are here. everyone else just thinks that the prince has an invisible friend which, well… they're not wrong?.. and it's not like other kids are exactly lining up to be his friends anyway, cause everyone thinks he's weird (or their parents don't want to catch the attention of the suitors)

and the gods think that it's because they hang around too much and Telemachus can't make friends because of them. so maybe they try to spend less time in Ithaca, for his own good. which only makes things worse, because now the boy is upset, and Aeolus and winions have to try extra hard to cheer him up, which pisses them off.

Athena & Hermes: oh, goodness us, we shall try not to interfere too much with the mortal affairs, so that the young prince grows up healthy and happy ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Telemachus: (T⌓T) Aeolus: ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ

and then they have to subtle bully the two dumb fucks to come back.

on a less serious note, Aeolus also has a sweet tooth, especially for marshmallows (idgaf there weren't any marshmallows in Mycenaean Greece, they're a god. they can make all the damn marshmallows they want)

and of course, since they are sooo generous, they always share with Telemachus.

what they don't know(?) is that winions, who all get their own treats, also collectively share them with the baby, because they are secretly evil adorable little freaks.

which results in a very hyper prince sugar rushing seemingly out of nowhere.

Telemachus, running all around the palace and crackling madly: I AM SPEED- Penelope, unimpressed: and who, pray tell, had given my son sweets right before dinner? Athena, equally unimpressed: yes, I would also like to know. Hermes, sweating nervously: heyyyy, why are you all looking at me like that???? ( ಠ‿ಠ ) Aeolus, from behind a tree, unseen by anyone: (｡•̀U-)┘

Hermes always gets blamed.

It's the only time he doesn't do the thing

and he's seething, because nobody believes him.

[natalieironside]

hi! gonna get right to it, how do i unionize my workplace? something happened yesterday which makes me think i could get most of my coworkers on board, and i want to do it. I really think we need to fight for 1.) insurance and better benefits, 2.) workplace safety and conditions better for mental health and emotional well-being, 3.) a livable wage, that sort of thing. but i have no idea how to start and you seem pretty knowledgeable, or at least like you'd have a good idea of where to start.

:) Well, the first place to start is gonna be over at https://www.iww.org/membership/ where u can get your very own red card and access to a vast array of resources and individual expertise. There might even be a General Membership Branch in your area, which would make things go quite a bit easier.

Organizing a shop is a big job with a lot of steps and I always point people towards the One Big Chungus first b/c we regularly do stuff like Organizer 101 trainings you can get in on and that's sure to be more useful than a Tumblr text post. But in brief, you should start by trying to make connections with your co-workers and talk to them about workplace issues, but remember to take it slow; don't throw around scary words like "union" or "strike" all willy-nilly and keep these activities away from the prying eyes of The Boss. That's the Agitation stage of AEIOU: Agitate, Educate, Inoculate, Organize, Unionize.

In the Education stage, the organizer will start introducing more radical ideas to these conversations, talking about what a union is/does and what collective action is/can achieve with contemporary examples (for instance, "Did you hear about how those Starbucks workers did XYZ")

The Inoculation stage prepares your proto-campaign for inevitable pushback like propagandistic head games and million-dollar union-busting lawyers. Those le epic takedowns of Amazon or Wal Mart anti-union training videos are examples of Inoculation.

You've reached the Organizing stage when you feel ready for your first collective action, such as a walkout or confronting the boss as a group.

And Unionize is I think pretty self-explanatory; once you feel strong enough, you can publicly declare your organizing campaign.

There's lotsa tips in the #organizing tag over at @onebiguniondaily and I very recommend following cool fellow workers @boffin-in-training and @soul-hammer

[ahsokathegray]

A Remedy for Memory || Part Three

Pairing: Rexsoka

Prompt: Rexsoka Monthly Jan. ‘24 - Accidental First Kiss

Summary: One simple fall causes a certain commander to fall in love with his co-commander all over again. Rex expresses his gratitude to his lover rather affectionately — unaware that he's never done so before, unaware that he and Ahsoka aren't together.

Tags: order 66 didn't happen, temporary amnesia, whump kinda, fake dating kinda, protective brotherly Anakin

Word Count: 5,528

A/N: if you saw the rom com this was inspired by, no you didn't. but fr go watch it, it's called the other zoey! (@rexsoka-monthly)

read on ao3! / masterlist

Three Months Ago

When the soft knock at Ahsoka’s door came, it was Jesse’s face rather than Rex’s smiling in her doorway. 

The ARC’s presence was always a welcome one but this occasion might’ve been the first exception. She’d been waiting for Rex for the better part of an hour and her disappointment was difficult to disguise. Ahsoka’s hopeful heart sank, returning to its regular rate and the fire that had been ignited in it for days, now extinguished in a swift death. 

If she exhaled deeply enough, she could feel the shattered fragments of it pierce her chest. 

Jesse, typically one to pick up on microexpressions and words left unsaid, was held back by the copious amounts of Tihaar in his system. She caught its distinct notes of smokey caramelization when he laughed. “Hey Commanderer, was jus’ wondering if you wanted t’join us in the barracks for drinks,” he offered, slurring over his words. His speech might’ve been compromised, but his eyes were anything but — scanning the empty room behind her.

The flush in her cheeks ran hot, knowing just who he was searching for. Jesse hadn’t been promoted to ARC status without reason. A few times during the siege, she’d met his knowing gaze, helmeted but clearly taking stock of the newfound dynamic between his two Commanders. 

“You have—” he hiccuped, “Haven’t seen Rex anywhere, have you?”

Ahsoka readied herself to catch the drunken Lieutenant who was now relying heavily on her door frame for stability. As down in the garbage chute as she was, she couldn’t suppress her amusement. Jesse’s state of being was inadvertently lifting her mood whether she wanted it to or not. It had been in nothing but a drunken haze that he had forgotten Ahsoka wasn’t there as a General — stumbling to the correct door by complete accident. 

Damn him. 

To him, to all the clones, she was their Commander, their General, and more. The title of Advisor was irrelevant. It had been as though she’d never left, continuing on as a Jedi and leading them into the mission as she was always meant to. 

Lying to the men was something Ahsoka never did, but she had no other choice in this instance. 

“No,” she answered finally, allowing herself to laugh at her goofy friend. “Unfortunately, I haven’t, not since we turned in for the evening. He, um, isn’t in his room then?” Her tongue was slotted into her cheek, hoping Jesse hadn’t picked up on the tone of suspicious interest in her voice.

His face contorted in curiosity for a spell before he pursed his lips. A flask was produced from his utility belt and he took a swig of its contents, deep in thought. “Wanna help me look for’em?” The flask was wiggled back and forth in his grip as a way of enticing her.

Again, Ahsoka laughed but turned him down, in no mood to prolong her sadness or risk the possibility of worsening it. “Thanks, but warm Tihaar doesn’t exactly agree with me. Good luck finding Rex. And please, be careful.”

He only shrugged his shoulders and pushed himself away from her door. “You’re missin’ out, but if I find’em, you’ll be the fi— first to know,” he hiccuped again and disappeared down the echoing hallway of the men’s drunken laughter. 

She waited and worried and paced for what felt like another hour, but not once did she regret what had been done. Had anyone seen Rex follow her? They hadn’t exactly tried to be subtle with their flirting throughout the entirety of the mission, were they somehow sloppy with this too? She could accept it if nothing further happened between them, but it still stung something fierce.

Ahsoka both tried to recount the events of the evening and to forget them. Her neck tingled in the sensitive spot Rex’s mouth had been just earlier — his velvet lips… so soft in a galaxy where every edge of a soldier was expected to be rough. Rex had many regrets and she hoped her name hadn’t been added to the extensive list. The thought alone made her feel physically ill. Her hand was pressed over her neck, clutching where his kisses had been placed, as though she were attempting to keep them from flying away.

The next noise that came to her door was much harsher and not a knock at all. 

Jesse barged in before she had time to react, cursing under his breath and carrying the missing man over his shoulder. Ahsoka gasped and retrieved Rex’s fallen helmet, placing it quickly on her night table and adjusting the rangefinder. 

“Tell me that wasn’t his head, Jesse,” she whispered through her teeth, helping him place an unconscious Rex onto her bed before folding her arms. 

He picked up the man’s feet and shoved him to the middle of her mattress. “Hey, he was already knocked out when I found him. Two shinies spilled some of the not-so-cheap stuff in a corridor near the barracks and Cap— Commander Clumsy here slipped and fell,” Jesse laughed, slightly less inebriated than before. 

Ahsoka smacked his arm. 

“He needs a medic then, not me,” she said, turning to Rex and cupping his face, checking him for head injuries and desperately attempting to ignore the feel of his five o’clock shadow on her palms — as if she hadn’t felt the gentle scratch there under entirely different circumstances just earlier. 

Jesse snickered again, “Well, I would’ve taken him there, but…”

“The medic’s drunk?”

“Medic’s drunk.”

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“This looks incriminating,” Jesse said minutes later, removing Rex’s shoes and placing them at the foot of Ahsoka’s bed. They’d agreed rather quickly that Rex needed to stay here tonight under Ahsoka’s careful watch. She was likely the only person outside of the bridge that wasn’t intoxicated.

“I think we are well past incriminating, Jesse,” she corrected, glancing at the growing pile of Rex’s armor strewn about her room. It was supposed to have ended up there tonight just… not like this. She tugged Rex’s cuirass off as his brother held him up. “Where’s the unlocking mechanism for his belt? Can you hold him still?”

“Trying. I’m trying,” he’d said, giggling at Rex’s limp form and losing grip. His mouth twitched and he pointed above Rex’s codpiece, “It’s, well, behind the uh...” 

The blush that had settled into Ahsoka’s face could almost rival the one she wore in the hangar when Rex tried to further their kissing beyond that of something so reserved and so clothed. 

“Of course it is,” she sighed, earning a matching sigh from Jesse in confirmation. 

She’d fully been prepared for undressing an armored Rex in her room, learning where each of the pieces disconnected and feeling the warm man beneath the shell — but, again, not like this. No, the initial image didn’t exactly have Jesse in the room instructing her on how to do so. 

That was supposed to be Rex’s job. 

The act was quick, eliciting no response from Rex. Force, how she’d give anything for his reaction to it; for his labored breathing and ready hands — to tug her hands down where he wanted them. Instead, his utility belt and kama fell limply to the bed and Ahsoka piled them neatly on the floor, neatly stacking the rest of his upper armor. 

“We’ll leave the rest,” Jesse said, noticing the air in the room had shifted when all that remained was Rex’s lower kit.

“Agreed.”

“We got off the armor that matters for a comfortable night's sleep.”

“Yeah?” she asked. 

“Well…”

“Jesse.”

He threw his hands up in defense and silently made his way to the door, lingering a moment longer, “It’s true. All I’m saying is that anyone with vision and hearing can tell how he feels about you, Ahsoka.”

Pressing her lips together Ahsoka crossed her arms tight around her middle and looked away. 

“Just not everyone pays attention. Be careful. That goes for both of you,” he added, tapping his fingers against her door frame and bidding her a good night.

Present Day

His lips were as soft as she remembered — unexpectedly so in contrast to the rest of him. Hard armor, sharp features, buzzed hair, calloused hands. Soft lips. 

Ahsoka couldn’t think straight, kissing Rex, being kissed by Rex. 

He was confident with his affections, trailing his loving mouth along the length of her jaw as if he’d really been doing it for all these months. As both her lashes and insides fluttered, she wondered how many times he’d thought about this exact moment — how many times he thought he might’ve already done it. 

For her, the imaginary instances had been countless — constant since her return. Rex had evidently imagined it so frequently that he’d perfected the art. 

He sucked on that tender spot below her jaw where her neck met her lekku and elicited a small gasp from her dry throat. They’d discovered together months ago that this spot was sensitive, as it was the very spot his lips had latched onto that night in the Tribunal’s hangar. 

Hot breath fanned over her wet skin as Rex continued recounting the story. “I followed you back to your room, knowing no one would think to look in the General’s quarters for us,” he spoke lowly against her neck, the vibrations of his voice causing her own breaths to become shallow. 

She didn’t have the heart to tell him. She couldn’t tell him. The truth would jeopardize how he healed and Rex… Rex would have to remember on his own that none of what he remembered after the shuttle had actually ever happened. 

He did make it to her room that night, only he’d done so via unconsciously slung over the shoulder of his brother. And, well, he’d ended up in her bed with his armor on the floor, but not in the way he thought.

But kissing him — kissing Rex — she momentarily believed as much as he did that his version of that night was true. 

His hands were anything but shy either. Two fingers were quick to hook behind her knee, urging Ahsoka to swing her leg over him. Her chest rose and fell impossibly fast, panicking over how to proceed.

“Rex, we’re not alone,” she whispered against his temple, placing a trembling hand to his chest. 

Nothing deterred him. “Skywalker left minutes ago,” he revealed, smiling wickedly and out of breath. “Guess he decided he’d seen enough.”

Through her heavy lashes, Ahsoka could see the sultry lopsided grin on his swollen lips, causing the knot behind her navel to coil tighter. The hand that cupped her jaw was gentle as his thumb skirted against her bottom lip and caused her to whimper. In one expert motion, Rex had Ahsoka in his lap, straddling him in the middle of the medbay.

A small squeak died in her throat as his lips enveloped hers once more, large hands covering her thighs and squeezing. She sighed into the kiss and he groaned so sweetly as their cores brushed. “I can’t wait to get you back to our place and have you all to myself,” Rex breathed into her mouth, swiping his tongue along hers. 

“Ou-our place?” Ahsoka managed, gripping the material of the blacks covering his shoulders. 

He hummed in response, hands journeying up to her hips and tracing them delicately, looking up at her adoringly as she shivered. A chaste kiss was placed to the inside of her left lek, “Yes, ma’am.” His mouth trailed upward, fully aware of what result it would get him. Ahsoka shifted in his lap and he grinned, continuing and reaching the convex curve of her montral. “Where every evening you get to watch the sunset over the Temple and I get to watch you. I want to watch you tonight, unraveling with nothing but my mouth and the golden light on your skin,” he whispered, teeth grazing her chevron.

Ahsoka’s hips bucked and she nearly choked, trying to remember to remind herself that she had a part to play. Yes, she was quite glad that she wasn’t the one hooked up with her vitals displayed. It was a very real possibility that she’d break the heart monitor. 

“I’m looking forward to it,” she rasped, her mouth dry. “I’ll go get everything ready.’

Rex made a noise of protest, the hands on her hips tightening and being used as leverage to press their centers closer. His voice was gravelly, “I think I remember Kix prescribing me a few doses of y—”

She pressed a finger to his lips and he smiled wickedly, kissing the digit as though he were nothing but innocent.

“Kix said no such thing,” she laughed before biting her lip. “But the sooner you let me slip away, the sooner you can self-prescribe yourself whatever you want.”

“And if I said you look rather tempting?” he drawled, shifting beneath the sheets as Ahsoka got off the bed.

She threw him a wink as she left the room, “Medic’s orders, then.”

The chair that the nurse droid brought for her to sit down in earlier looked enticing, an invitation for relief, but Ahsoka thankfully made it around the corner before breaking character. She pressed herself into the wall, heart pounding in her throat and trying to absorb what had just happened. Her legs squeezed together. He didn’t remember that they never… that what happened in the shuttle on the Tribunal never continued. 

It never amounted to anything. 

It— All it did was find them in small moments alone in the mess hall, the Resolute’s corridors, its war room, the hangar. All it did was make them forget that nothing happened, before inevitably bringing tight smiles to their lips and brief vulnerable looks in their eyes until one of them looked away or said something to reluctantly end it. All it did was insert itself into their banter during battle, the dances they did on the field, how they knew the other’s instincts. Even when Anakin was there, he wasn’t, nor were the men. They were the only people in the galaxy until the cruel spell was broken again.

Their light hearted banter continued, thank the Force. She didn’t know how she’d be coping otherwise. 

Discussion about it just wasn’t had. They’d silently agreed upon it. Only when her Master started asking questions had they been forced to approach the topic. 

Ahsoka swallowed, lighting her comm up and watching her hand tremble. “Jesse?”

“Yes, sir, Commander?” he responded immediately.

“I found out what Rex thinks he knows.”

There was no response for a moment and Ahsoka knew he’d heard the waver in her voice. “Commander, you don’t—”

“I know that. But I have to now. I can’t— Anakin is going to be impossible to convince otherwise,” she said, knowing she wasn’t making any sense. 

“What happened, Ahsoka?”

She rushed the words out so that she wouldn’t have to suffer them for long, “Rex thinks we are involved because we almost were. Well, we were a bit. Then… then you brought him to my room that night after Mandalore—”

Jesse put together the pieces Ahsoka had scattered. She’d only confirmed what he already knew to be true. “He was supposed to already be in there, wasn’t he?”

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, Ahsoka waited, knowing her silence was already speaking for her. “Yes,” she confirmed. “He thinks we’re together, that we live together. And the only viable way we could do that is if each of us were no longer involved in the Republic.”

“I guess that explains why he thinks he’s retired,” Jesse said. “Have you told Kix?”

“I can’t tell him everything. Not how much I told you.”

“You don’t have to. Just tell him what you found out. I’m sure you know this already, but Kix would never repeat a word you confide in him — he has the utmost respect for you as much as anyone. I’ll talk to him too. If it’s the three of us speaking with the General, he may be easier to persuade.”

Ahsoka nodded to herself. “Okay. Alright, I’ll comm him and find both of you after. Thank you, Jesse.”

“Sounds like a plan, sir. Anytime.”

Flames licked at the irises of her Master’s eyes. She could practically see the red rings encircling them, but their color remained blue, deceitfully so. Ahsoka wasn’t easily fooled. She’d known him long enough to see the tsunami that roared behind them; it was too late to take back her wish that he’d be angry. So, too, was it far too late to wish he’d been present to witness her and Rex in the medbay. 

His jaw flexed before he responded to his medic. “And you expect me to just host his delusions willingly?”

Jesse shifted uncomfortably and Kix reached for the datapad clipped to his belt. “I can show you his results again, sir. They were conclusive almost immediately. There was no time to falsify a report.”

Rex’s office was still, not even the gentle hum of the air conditioning could grant them its presence, almost as if it too were holding its breath to hear what Anakin’s reaction would be to such a request. 

It was the only place she could think of for pulling Jesse and Kix aside to shed the weight that had been placed on her shoulders, telling them each what Rex had divulged to her and what truly had happened after Mandalore. Conveniently, Kix was observant enough to share Jesse’s suspicions — Rex’s intimate gratitude earlier in the shipyard enough to confirm them. The safe little office they’d used to express their feelings and opinions felt decidedly less so now that Anakin had been called to join them. 

“So I’m supposed to just find the apartment he described, furnish it, and pay for him and my Padawan to live in it until he heals?” Anakin asked incredulously, arms crossed and hands balled into shaking fists. 

Ahsoka, Jesse, and Kix all remained resolute, unnerving the volatile man before them. Depending on how much he’d seen in the medbay, this could go one of two ways.

“Yes, sir,” Kix answered flatly. “To ensure Rex’s health, I’m afraid that’s exactly what I’m asking— what I’m telling you must be done. I hate to pull rank, sir, but taking these measures of precaution is absolutely necessary.”

Jesse tilted his head towards Kix, chiming in, “It could potentially speed along his recovery process, General. Vaughn agreed to split Rex’s tasks with me but we’re still a man short and the workload is already moving at a slower rate without him.”

Anakin pinched the bridge of his nose, letting his arms fall at his sides before placing them on his hips. His distaste with anything revolving around his pair of Commanders was clear even before Rex had fallen and hit his head. Something he already suspected between them that wasn’t true, was still untrue but now fully happening and out of his hands. 

He was being forced to be complicit in this. 

Ahsoka’s jaw flexed when he turned to her, prepared at a moment’s notice to come to Rex’s defenses.

“Your Knighthood ceremony is next week, Ahsoka. That’s in three days,” he reminded her, his voice distraught and cold. 

“And according to Kix’s report, Rex’s memory will be back in two. This is just another mission. I'll be ready.”

“And if it’s not? If he’s not better? What do you think the Council will have to say about that?” he argued, pacing in Rex’s small office. 

She tilted her chin up, “What the Council doesn’t know won’t hurt them. Isn’t that what you taught me?”

“That’s hardly fair, Ahsoka.”

“You know how I feel about fair,” she retorted.

Her Master scoffed, yet again humiliated in front of his troops by his student due to a fragile ego. It might do him some good — a few healthy doses close together like that to balance him out. 

Jesse spoke up yet again, “There’s no one more capable than Commander Ahsoka to look after Rex. You can ask anyone in the 332nd. It was her who looked after us on Mandalore, more so than the other way around. If anyone should be at Rex’s side, it’s her. He’d do the same if the roles were reversed, and has. I’ve seen it.” His focus shifted to Ahsoka, eyes kind and gave her a nod.

Anakin’s features hardened and he turned his back to them, activating his comm and not looking back as he spoke, “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

When the door closed behind him, Ahsoka took a seat behind Rex’s desk and put her head in her hand, looking up at the boys. Her frustration was evident, words unnecessary.

As if on cue, the air in the office finally kicked on and Jesse took a seat across from her. “Reckon’ it’s time for his scheduled comm with the Naboo Senator? Thought I had those timed,” he laughed dryly. Ahsoka cracked a slight smile, relaxing a bit. “He’s really going to give you this much hell when he’s calling in a favor with his wife?”

“How do you know it’s her that he’s contacting? And how do you know she’s…” Ahsoka asked, trailing off due to the look he was giving her. 

Jesse scoffed playfully. “You mean who doesn’t? And he always presses the first button on his comm when he goes off to talk to her,” he explained, as if it were common knowledge. “And her apartment has the exact view Rex described does it not?”

Ahsoka swiveled in the comfortable chair. “You’re right,” she said, what her Master had stepped outside to do now snapping into place. 

“Anyway, I think you missed my whole point, Ahsoka. Skywalker wants to bust your shebs for having to pretend to be in a relationship with Rex when he’s the one that’s married, that’s broken the code. And you’re not even a Jedi yet, not really — no offense,” he added. 

“None taken. Where are you going with this?”

He resumed, “Your ceremony is in three days. You’re not breaking any rules. Technically, are you even still officially a Padawan? Did they ever rectify that anywhere after you came back?”

“No. No, they didn’t,” she responded, eyes widening a fraction. 

Jesse tilted his head, a mischievous grin spreading over his face, “Then I’d say you’re clear to do whatever the fuck you want, Commander.” He leaned back in his chair, satisfied with himself. 

Ahsoka attempted to combat the blushing of her lekku by just wanting it to go away. Jesse snickered and she looked to Kix for his input. He merely shrugged, silently agreeing with his brother before adding, “All I’m gonna say is that this might need to go live somewhere else before the General sees it.”

Her brow markings dipped and her gaze followed down to where his hand was resting on Rex’s desk. Kix was touching the frame of a photo tucked between stacks of datapads and mission reports. 

It was one of two pictures total that Rex had framed on his cramped desk. One was of him, Cody, Fives, and Echo and the other… The one Kix had discovered was of him and her. 

The frame was dainty and heart-shaped and she immediately reached for it, turning it face down and turning, herself, a shade of rosy orange. 

Jesse lunged out of his chair towards the desk, “Hey, not so fast, I wanna see what he’s got framed in th—”

At that moment, the door whooshed open and Anakin reappeared. “Ahsoka, Padmé has agreed to help. Everything will be ready this afternoon for you and Rex to,” he paused, the words rebelling in his throat. “Live together,” he said finally. “Focus on the mission. You’re being tasked with helping his memory return. The moment it’s back, you’ll be inducted into the Order.”

She rose so quickly that Rex’s chair was spinning behind her. “Yes, Master. Thank you. Thank you, I won’t let you down.”

His jaw visibly tightened and he muttered as he turned away, “Yeah well, you can start by not being so enthusiastic about it.”

Not even three hours later, Anakin was handing Ahsoka a passkey for the apartment — the apartment that his commanders would be living in for the two days and where Rex was convinced they’d already been living in for the past three months. 

His Force signature was indiscernible. It was clear that his earlier rage had fizzled, but Ahsoka didn’t favor what it left behind in its wake. She was unnerved at how emotionless he seemed. 

“Padmé had Artoo and Threepio stock the place with food. She and her handmaiden furnished it and gathered Rex’s personal effects from the barracks and yours from the Temple. Our apartment is two floors above yours if either of you need anything for the duration of the weekend,” Anakin said. His words were icy, speaking to her as if they were just acquaintances and nothing more. 

Ahsoka thanked him but he was already ten feet away from her, the distance between them not growing fast enough for her Master. He’d not even tried to dance around the details of his and Padmé’s arrangement. Already aware that she and Rex had swapped stories, he felt no need to maintain the secrecy now, just laying it out in the open. Ahsoka’s jaw hung loose, the passkey limp in her hand. 

Anakin was at a loss, hair a mess from the back. She rarely saw him in this state. His commanders would be sharing a bed just two floors below him, they both knew the intimate details of his biggest secret, and there was nothing he could do about either one of those facts. 

No expense was spared on the apartment, if apartment was even the correct term to use for such a lavish place to live. Ahsoka had been to Padmé’s place — well, as Anakin had corrected, their shared place — but had never really paid the view any mind. Day was setting on the Coruscant skyline and bouncing off the Jedi Temple in a way that made it seem unreal. Even GAR Headquarters shone in the distance.

Rex was beaming as he stepped through the door, the hand he had on Ahsoka’s hip pulling her closer. A sweet kiss was pressed to her lips and he kicked his shoes off, feeling right at home. 

It was amazing how he could feel so much comfort in a place he’d never been before, slotting into this life that wasn’t theirs like he’d always been dealt other cards. She wished they had been dealt other cards — been dealt these cards. 

He opened several cabinets in the kitchen. “Where do we keep the pans? I want to make you something for dinner,” he said, giving her that signature lopsided smile. 

Yes, she was very envious of this dealing of cards. She wanted desperately to be able to tell them where they kept their pans, but even she didn’t have the answer. Ahsoka told herself to go to him instead and wrap her arms around his middle, pecking his cheek like it was something so natural that didn’t cause her stomach to flip. “Do you remember ever cooking for me?”

“I don’t. Do I know how to cook?” he asked, arching an eyebrow and looking a tad sheepish.

She shook her head and laughed, “I don’t think so.” The news of his inability in the kitchen was easy to deliver, as he didn’t already think it was a skill that he had. 

Rex laughed at himself and ran his hands along her arms, “You know what they say. At least feed a lady before you kriff the living daylights out of her.” His head motioned towards the sunset through the window and added, “Literally.”

Oh, Rex was cooking alright. He lit a flame across her whole body and had been letting it simmer since he took that fall earlier. He was quite the chef indeed. Ahsoka buried her head in his chest and squeezed him tighter, remembering something Kix had told her. “Kix didn’t tell you, did he?”

“Tell me what?” he hummed, kissing the tip of one of her montrals.

“No pushing your limits physically until you’re better,” she said, looking up at him and offering a sympathetic smile. Her sympathy was truly genuine. There was little she’d rather do than take him up on his many advances and offers from today and finally finish what they started three months ago. Ahsoka never stopped wanting Rex, never stopped needing him — in every way. 

They’d been given an opportunity they could do nothing with. They’d been provided with privacy, with a bed, with a mere glimpse into the life they could’ve had, but only because Rex’s memory was deceiving him. Two days of something she’d been quite excited for now felt almost cruel. It was painful to see what they could’ve had — what almost was — and just three days before she officially became a Jedi Knight.

Rex groaned and gave her a pleading look, bending at the knees and picking her up, placing her on the counter top. Ahsoka shrieked and pressed her lips together. 

“I thought we agreed on medic’s orders,” he said, stepping between her legs and covering her thighs with his hands. 

“We did,” she replied, air difficult to inhale as Rex started peppering kissing along her exposed neck, using his index finger to push her left lek aside. “That was un— until he gave actual orders.” Her own body vibrated as Rex hummed against her throat, a fair amount of electricity conducting between them. 

“We could go slow,” he breathed against her skin suggestively. “I could make such sweet, slow, love to you.”

Ahsoka gasped at his words, brow markings twitching and thighs widening as he stepped closer to her. “W— We can’t,” she managed, her words not lining up with her actions as she craned her neck to the side, giving Rex further access.

A string of peppered kisses were planted along her collarbone. “Or,” he started again. “I could lie down and let you do all the work. But we both know I eventually wouldn’t be able to help myself.”

“Rex,” she whispered, voice small and swallowing over the lump in her throat. Ahsoka thought that before all this was over, she too would be admitted to a medical facility. Every inch of her skin was aflame. Everything she’d wanted for months was now being hand delivered to her on a silver platter and she didn’t know what to do with that. 

“I know,” he caved. “Kix is the boss. The sooner I listen to him, the sooner I recover and get to kriff you with all my memories intact. I wouldn’t want to seize the opportunity with my cyare and find I’ve forgotten how to please her.”

She blushed furiously, his usage of the Mandalorian tongue causing her to shiver. She didn’t even know what it meant. “Somehow I doubt that.”

Rex shot her a wink and made a comment about how much of a shame it was, as the sunset was complimenting her flawless skin so well. But the waning sunset had also caught something in their home, causing it to reflect into her eyes. Ahsoka moved to hop off the counter and Rex stepped aside, watching curiously as she stepped over to a nearby shelf. 

Two picture frames sat displayed in the apartment, one of Rex and a few of his brothers, and the other in a frame much dantier — much more heart-shaped. 

Ahsoka’s chest swelled as she looked up at the photo, the same one from Rex’s office. Padmé must’ve gathered his belongings from not just the barracks, but his work desk too. 

Coming to stand behind her, Rex looked where the light was catching the image and his arm slinked around Ahsoka’s waist. “I remember that day,” he said distantly, a soft smile on his buzzing lips. His brows knitted together as the memory resurfaced. “It was the day you returned. There was so much happening around us in preparation for Mandalore, but we got pushed together for a photo anyway.”

“Rex, you remembered something!” Ahsoka said excitedly. “Being back home is already working.”

Her throat closed around the word. Calling this place home felt equally as right as it felt wrong. Rex flattened his mouth and shrugged. “It’s just a small memory.”

“But it’s something,” she assured. Ahsoka utilized the Force to pluck the frame from the shelf and get it into her hands. She looked between the small printed version of herself and Rex. She remembered smiling for it, but had never seen the image, not until today. “Do you know why you’re looking at me instead of the camera? It was pretty loud in the hangar, I barely heard Sterling tell us to smile.”

His brows were dipped and his pink lips curved upwards when she met his gaze. Rex shook his head and, as if it was the most obvious answer in the galaxy, said, “Why would I ever look at a camera when you’re right next to me?”

[larkral]

Hello!! Thanks for the tags @hushed-chorus, @bookish-bogwitch, @cosmicalart, @j-nipper-95, @forabeatofadrum, @orange-peony, @ileadacharmedlife and @aroace-genderfluid-sheep! So fun to see what everyone is working on!

I've been doing some tests for audio for my @caught-on-tape-fest, which has been difficult because my children have been home sick almost every day this week. Anyway, got a first roll of a fic and learned a lot, like: I'm definitely not going to be trying a British accent (comes out half-Australian, I blame Bluey), I need a working doc so that I can highlight different characters dialogue in different colors to allow for different pacing and emphasis, and I need to talk slower. 

That said, I am excited and it's fun. Haven't yet done any editing but I have done that before and I feel pretty sure I'll be able to manage. 

Also this week I wrote some Simon's Two Mums and some of one of my CORB pieces. Sentences from both below!

My CORB piece, draft titled mechanic!Simon:

One of my foster families had three cars up on blocks in the backgarden. Kitty said she collected kids and Jules collected cars. It worked for them. Worked for me too. Kitty wasn't my biggest fan, but Jules didn't mind a quiet pair of eyes watching him, tools being passed his way when he reached for them. He didn't talk a lot either, but when he bought the Mini ('74) he patted the hood and said, "Happy Birthday, Simon."

Simon's two mums (draft titled normal!Simon even though he's reallllly not) also this is 8 sentences. Ah well:

Baz uses words like purview. I can barely get my lips around them. Why the crucible thought that he and I would be good as roommates, I don't know.  But I do like him. And he likes Penny. And Penny likes me. So it works out, even if it does kind of suck to be the in-between friend.  Not that Keris and Penny are better suited as roommates than Baz and me.

One thing that's helping me to work on these two pieces in tandem is that they're both stories where the WOM timeline doesn't happen the way it does in canon, so I get to be really generative in thinking about what the actual universe of CO is like, and what the social and political dynamics would be like if the events that happen canonically hadn't happened. Fun! Difficult! My jam.

Tag/hellos under the cut. :)

Tagging @stitchyqueer @thewholelemon @confused-bi-queer @raenestee @facewithoutheart @cutestkilla @sillyunicorn @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @basiltonbutliketheherb @asocialpessimist @aristocratic-otter @captain-aralias @petedavidsonscock @takitalks @artsyunderstudy @yeonjunenby @carryonvisinata @takenabackbytuesdays @martsonmars @nausikaaa @nightimedreamersghost @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @ionlydrinkhotwater @shrekgogurt @palimpsessed @fatalfangirl​ @blackberrysummerblog​ @valeffelees @imagineacoolusername @whogaveyoupermission @wellbelesbian @rimeswithpurple

[alexandraisyes]

*skitters in in need of nice and funky things* HOKAY. SHIPS. I am honestly open to nearly all ships due to the fact my aro-ace ass simply doesn't require them to live BUT I do have few that either sparks my interest or i think they work pretty well :3 I also go by the logic they are robots and relationships cannot be really compared to humans. Earth x Eclipse - I don't what it is with Earth cracking the harshest personalities but my god, Eclipse v4 warming up to her to the point of tolerating was a feat and sparks immense joy. Allowing Earth to hug him and hang out? Chat? Feel loved? Absolutely precious. Earth respects his boundaries and at the same time Eclipse appreciates her embracing his persona. It's just such a good premise for a slightly odd but good couple. I love it. Sun x Eclipse (many versions) - Canon divergence with Sun and Eclipse working it out? YES. Solar and his original Sun? My god please yes. Oh, what's his? Lord Eclipse and his Servant Sun? Mhm mhm yes. Excellent. So many potentials. So many ways to roll with the ship. Can be loving or spicy or unhealthy. So many choices. Nexus x Solar - do I even have to explain. I think many feels similar about this one. Nexus as new moon found his Sun, even if that Sun is eclipsed. Solar desperately needed someone to love and appreciate him. I am both friend shipping them and shipping, both works for me beautifully.

Sun x Moon - ho boi a controversial one but hey, what is the multiverse for if not ship anything you want (especially since it was even confirmed in canon that romantic DCAs are as normal and common as brotherly bonds or coworkers or absolutely hating each other). They are AIs inhibiting robotic bodies. They are synthetic beings and their understanding of bonds are different than the ones of a biological critters. They are a bundle of codes that try to understand the convoluted partnerships and roles among each other. Protective Moon and caring Sun may decide their bond is on the romantic spectrum. Cos who knows Sun better than their Moon? What is Moon without their Sun? :) Those would be the ones that stick to my brain. Thank you for making the small sharing time! I hope you have a lovely day/evening :) Cheers!

Hiii Wonszu!!! (Waving at u from my enclosure!!!)

I think that Eclipse deserves something nice. And maybe Earth could be that something nice, in the right circumstances.

They're literally my first ship (just normal SunChips) in this fandom and ough. Ough. I literally never even considered the idea of shipping the sillies until I found out that this fandom has a fucking ao3 tag. I was still mostly in the UTMV fandom when I started watching TSAMS, and my poor fandom then was burning while I was slowly jumping ship.

I think they're sweet. I don't see them as romantic myself, but I support those who do. They remind me of the relationship my brother had with his best friend.

I think the fandom is slowly getting over their whole general "every sun and moon HAS to be related and platonic" since we have people hardcore shipping Helios (dark sun) and Nexus. Not to mention the AU Sun and Moon in DoctorF's fic, Sunlo and Moonlit. They're cute. I don't see why we can't have TSAMS AUs where the dynamics are different when it's generally acceptable to ship SolarMoon as an AU. Idk maybe I'm biased, I've been shipping Sun and Moon (in general) since like immediately when Security Breach came out. I took one look at them and went "oh yes they are so fucking gay". And jadkl;fsjads it was such a lonely time when I didn't know anyone else who shipped them.

As I've already said before, I see TSAMS as just one DCA au amongst many DCA aus. Do whatever the fuck you want bro.

Ask Game - Send Me Ship Headcanons (TSBS)

[cafecliche]

fic writer meme!

[RISES FROM THE DEPTHS] I'm here!! Thank you so much @uhuraisgay and @englishsub for the tags, and also for reminding me that I've missed Tumblr

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 50 even - which was more than I thought!

2. what's your total ao3 wordcount? 187,448

3. what fandoms do you write for?

My fic-writing impulses come along like cicada seasons, except without any regularity whatsoever: I do a lot of dabbling in a lot of fandoms, I can never really tell if something's going to light my brain on fire. Most of my fic output came from Yuletide for a long while (I loved the grab bag aspect and writing little treats for small fandoms, but then my holidays got busier), and then Yuri on Ice and MDZS were my biggest fandoms by far, especially MDZS. I've written Yuwu recently, and I'd love to write some Trigun, LoZ, or Mysterious Lotus Casebook one of these days.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

grow

the only way out

The Guests of Cloud Recesses

detente

bespoke

And the soft animal is our runner-up at #6!

5. do you respond to comments?

I usually don't unless it's a request or a question, but I read and treasure every one.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am too tender for Bad Endings for the most part, but my canon-verse Nie Huaisang fic after me comes the flood does not end in a particularly good place for anyone involved. (But even then, we know it gets better for him eventually... albeit at the expense of several bystanders)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I tend to write pretty gentle, occasionally LIGHTLY bittersweet happy endings (that's the cafecliche guarantee baby) but part of me wants to say 'the only way out' (and probably 'the yunmeng accords' series in general) here. I tend to write fic when I want to play around with the emotions or relationship dynamics that can already be found in canon, so 'the yunmeng accords' is probably as close to a fix-it as I'm going to get.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not usually! I was part of the Great MDZS Anon Hate Train of 2021, but that was the worst I've ever gotten by several magnitudes - the vast majority of commenters are fabulous.

9. do you write smut?

Not yet! It's not off the table, though.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you have written?

I actually don't think I've ever written a crossover! The closest I've ever gotten was when I look over my shoulder, but even that's 'Wangxian in a Conjuring-esque ghosthunters in love situation' and not really a formal Conjuring AU.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had plagiarism brought to my attention a couple times, but truly just a handful. I still remember getting a message on FF.net that someone had ripped off a line from my Black Lagoon fic. The SCANDAL of it all.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

MDZS is the first fandom where I've gotten translation requests, which is always so cool! To my knowledge, I've had fics translated into Russian, Spanish, and Ukranian.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but brainstorming fic concepts with my brilliant friends is one of my favorite thing in the world.

14. what's your all time favorite ship?

omg ever? Well Victuuri and Wangxian have been the ones that really lit my brain on fire (if I own the Nendos, it's serious) but let me also throw it back to Fakir and Ahiru in Princess Tutu. That is ROMANCE.

15. what is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I would have really liked to have one more entry to 'the yunmeng accords!' I had a couple of ideas that I really liked, but nothing that caught fire quite enough to dive into it. That said, I am currently working on something short and Yunmeng Shuangjie-related, at the very least...

16. what are your writing strengths?

Emotional through-lines, pacing, and that sweet, sweet catharsis. I'm drawn to particular fandoms when they leave me with an emotion that I need to break down over the course of several thousand words, and I know that shows through in my writing.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Choreography! I'm not a very visual thinker, so sometimes it takes me a while just to figure out how to block the characters in a given scene. I also have a lot of trouble getting into a draft until I figure out the voice, which, when it comes to fanfic, will either come to me extremely easily or not at all.

18. thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

Yeah, absolutely! (But if you don't speak the language, do your research!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

[rubs my temples] an X-Men crackfic.

20. favorite fic you have written?

Oh my god. WELL. 'grow' and 'the only way out' I think are the best fics I've written, and 'when I look over my shoulder' and 'the soft animal' are also extremely close to my heart. But 'detente' might be the favorite child. It just gushed out of me.

I think a great many of you have been tagged at this point, so sorry for any double-tags, but: @bluecrystalrainingdaggers @tigerjpg @floofyfluff @vinelark and anyone else who'd like to go for it!

[klausinamarink]

writers 20 questions

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

45 at the moment! I have a few more wips to post on the way so the number is going to go higher

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

130,657

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things. I’m looking to branch to other fandoms though like The Locked Tomb in the future

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Standup, You’re Never Too Much, Recapturing the Sunset, Just Another Flesh Wound, One Kid Gone, Another Up and Vanished

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!! But not always as sometimes I immediately forget to reply and when I do, it’s a few weeks or a month later skkshdk forgive me

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Biting Back in Anger. It’s Eddie having a bad day and blowing up at Steve, who leaves trying not to cry :)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhh most of my fics have happy endings but I think I can nominate The Tinsel Tradition. It has Steve, Eddie, and Robin building a home together in NYC, healed and happy in every queer way!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope, thank god

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I’ve been writing more smut recently and exploring some areas. I’m honestly gotten more comfortable though it’s still a challenge to get the right words without coming off as awkward lmao. but that’s Phil’s (@theheadlessphilosopher) job 🫶💜

10. Do you write crossovers?

I’m more of a fusion au writer who borrows the setting and elements and places my blorbos in there than a straight-up crossover. Unless that counts as a crossover? Those two terms are kinds confusing sometimes..

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

There are a couple folks who played around this idea with me but nothing concrete. Though I guess Phil’s beta work can count because he writes better lines and scenarios than me

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

You’re asking me, a Steddie blog—

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

oof. I have a TLOU steddie wip based on resande’s sketches, but it’s looking unlikely to be done because the person looking it as my beta reader over got busy with other things and I’ve lost the writing juice 😔

16. What are your writing strengths?

Many people tell me that I am very visceral with my descriptions, esp with horror, and setting the tension is top-notch 🥰 (I am a freak who loves gore and blood tehehehehe)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have too many ideas and a problem to actually write what I want that it comes off as juvenile to me. I also have a tendency to gloss over the editing of my fic which I’m trying to break out of.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I honestly don’t mind it at all. However, I do get taken right out of the story if the language is written literally (like kanji for Japanese, Cyrillic for Russian, etc.) and not romanized when the character is speaking because that’s not how it works

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior Cats. We all started our writing careers from that series at some point in middle school lol

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Noooo, I can’t pick favourites- I love them all equally. But FINE, I’ll say it would be When Life Gives You Pickles, Make It Into Soup. I wrote this as mostly self-indulgent because I LOVE pickle soup and is the best comfort food of all time. I think anyone making soup in general for their significant other if PEAK relationship goals because who doesn’t love soup?? Of course I had to Steddie-ify it

thanks to Devon for tagging me! Tagging others with no pressure: @thefreakandthehair @pearynice @3minsover @penny00dreadful @chaosgremlinmunson

@cranberrymoons @dies-somniator

[stardustmade009]

It ends with us drama has me hating everyone. A rant.

So I was on board with the critism about the movie not giving proper trigger warnings. I'm a person who's suffered, I think people should be able to keep their peace and not tagging your fiction doesn't do that. Where I have decided this is enough is when this became the "Fuck Blake Lively in particular" party. Because where I don't care about her in a general sense, and I don't doubt Mrs Lively has sinned in the many days she's spent on the planet and I'm not privy to them all, but this shit is getting too fucking much and the discourse is taking too much pleasure out of digging up every bad interview to make her look "difficult to work with" when she has made a pretty credible claim that the director and co star used his power to sexually harass her at her work place. Like it's sickening to watch every year when the internet gets a woman who is victimized by a man just to tear apart, yall did it with Megan thee Stallion last year and Amber Heard the year before, so like you'd think this one wouldn't bother me as bad as those two, but its like, yall are faking this outrage about how "victims of abuse are soooooooo important, sooooo important that I need to uplift an accused abuser (who hired JD's PR Team) and tear down an alleged victim in the name of straw men I made up watching a movie and given feelings over it." just adds a certain something that wasn't there with the other two. Like I can see how a person can be misled to being suspicious of Megan's claims because she denied tory shot her at the scene. Like I'll sit down with you and can explain why she would have done that. And the Amber situation is easy to get how we got here if you are chronically online person like I am, a lot of loser men spent YEARS lying and polluting the story online, the place people get info, so when people go looking up info they get lies, or they watched the case with some bias ass commentator online. But this... Yall went from "hey our fiction should be tagged better" to "if this woman who made credible claims (cause the ENTIRE FIRST HAND KNOWLEDGE HOLDING CREW stopped following and hasn't been interviewed with one person and is rallying around the person making the claims) really had that happen, she would have brought it up before she got backlash", and the backlash in question is her alleged abuser being called a better person than herself because "he cares". You all disgust me. And I pray and will pray until I die you develop enough sense to be disgusted in yourselves, but I know there isn't a god and in 2025 we're getting another woman.