Trust In What Tomorrow Brings - Co-written with @notafunkiller
Summary: After your first date with Bucky Barnes, you two spend some time alone in your apartment. That's when you realize you actually want to keep him.
Pairing: 40s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, second encounter, teasing, pet names, sir and sergeant kink, a tiny bit of mommy kink, mentions of past relationships, mentions of trauma, protected and unprotected sex, praising dirty talking mixture, dry humping, ripped clothing, face riding, blowjob, rough sex, multiple orgasms, light punishment, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 11.9K
A/N: This is technically a second chapter to You’re My Desire but you don't need to read the first chapter to understand what's going on since this is their second date. We actually planned it as a one-shot but somehow 40s Bucky and this universe didn't want us to be done. So here we are with a sequel. We kinda went overboard with it because we just want Bucky to have a little bit of a good time in the middle of the war.
Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's a great writer and a talented creator in general.
All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.
Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.
Read more tag starts after the fourth paragraph of the story.
You may wanna read You're My Desire first
"This is absolutely crazy. They are all yours?" Bucky's fascinated smile is so cute that you smile, too.
“Oh yeah, I have been collecting books for a long time.”
"What's this?" He takes a book with a white cover that had no title or author written on it and analyzes it carefully.
“No, no, no.” You immediately try to take it back. “That’s not for your eyes, mister.”
"What?" Bucky snorts. "Is that your diary or what?"
“No, it’s not my diary.” You try to take the book back again, but you're not successful.
"Then why not?" He is even more curious now, turning his back a little to you to open it. "Even a dedication, huh? Is it from an old lover?"
“No, it’s not. Come on, give it back.”
He sighs, not wanting to push you and hands you the book. "Okay, sorry."
You didn’t expect him to give up this easily. His consideration makes you wanna share a little bit more with him. So you open up a page and show him.
“This is why you aren’t supposed to see this.”
He was careful not to hurt her as he pushed her.
Her skin was so soft under his touch that nothing matters anymore.
"Oh god," Bucky covers his mouth. "Is the whole book like this, doll?"
“Pretty much.” You giggle a little, amused by his cute reaction.
"Wanna read it to me?" He winks.
“You can read it yourself if you wanna learn a thing or two.”
"Excuse you?" Bucky raises his eyebrow. "Are you questioning my skills now?"
You throw your head back, laughing, and Bucky crosses his arms with a frown as he watches you.
“I’m teasing you.”
"Sure." He puffs. He knows you have experience, but what if he doesn't keep up to your expectations?
“I’m really teasing you. Half of the things they do sound unrealistic.”
"Give me an example." His voice is somehow a little vulnerable.
You take a big breath, already regretting this. “Let’s see: having sex underwater like crazy. The girl is… wet for hours. They are going at it all night, and the guy comes several times in a row.”
Bucky snorts, coming closer to you. "Does he have the super super serum? Because that's not biologically possible."
“That’s exactly what I meant.“
"Yet you still read them. Who wrote this?"
“There aren’t many options when it comes to these kinds of books. The author is not written as you can see.”
"How do you find them though?" He's genuinely curious.
“Mostly we borrow from each other. This one is my favorite so I bought a copy.”
"We? Who's we?"
“Girls. Exchanging books.”
Bucky's eyes glow all of a sudden. "Like a book club?"
“Yeah, like a book club.” You can’t help but smile at how excited he is.
"Oh god. Is it only for girls?" He tries to calm down a little, but this is so interesting he can't control himself.
Your smile turns into a full laugh. “You wanna read erotic books with girls?”
Bucky groans embarrassed as he covers his face. "No, of course not. I was just wondering. I can read erotic books with my girl."
“Your girl?” You raise your right eyebrow playfully.
"Aren't you?" He drops the hand from his face to grab yours.
“It depends on you.” You really wanna kiss him, but you hold yourself back.
Bucky surprises you by grabbing your ass and pulling you into him. Your book falls on the floor, but neither of you cares as he kisses you gently. "Want to be my girl, doll?"
“Yes, yes.”
"Are you sure? I can't make love to you the whole night," Bucky says amused.
You laugh. “I don’t think I would survive that even if you could.”
He joins you in laughter. "I'd probably die mid-thrust."
“You know what, though?”
"What?"
“I didn’t think having sex against the wall was realistic. You know, carrying the other person the whole time while thrusting. I thought that no more than 2 or 3 minutes could be possible, but you proved me wrong.”
Bucky looks at her surprised. "Really?"
“Yeah, really. I still don’t know how you did that.”
"I just held you. I'm a soldier." He brushes it off. "Maybe your... friends need to exercise more."
“My friends?” You repeat in a joking manner.
"Special friends."
“I don’t have any special friends.”
"Doll," he groans. "You know what I mean."
“I know and I never had any special friends.”
Bucky sighs. "Your previous... partners."
“I just had one partner, and he wasn’t a special friend. He was my fiancé.”
"Oh?" He feels like a total fool for assuming that. The word engagement, though… That burns a hole in his stomach. "Your fiance? What happened?"
“He got drafted, and then I found out he was cheating on me. So I broke off the engagement.”
Bucky can't believe it. How could he do that? "Wow, I'm sorry. I have no idea what to say. When did it happen?"
“Over a year ago.” You offer a little more information with a bitter smile. You're glad you found out then. It would have been a mess if you had gotten married before that. “It’s okay. You already said more than he ever did.”
"I..." Bucky takes a step back. You're probably still in pain. Maybe even in love or regretting what could have been. He doesn't know how to process this. "I'm sorry once again."
“It’s okay.” You shrug. “And look, I know what kind of impression I gave you on that first date. So if you don’t believe I only had one partner before, I understand it.”
"That's not... I frankly don't care how many partners you had. That is the last thing I'd ever care about. What we did was to follow our needs." He sighs. "But I want to know what you really want us to be. Because I am not sure I would be the right guy to mend your heart only."
He wants a whole lot more.
“I am not expecting you to mend my heart, Bucky.”
"You talked about pain," he says naively.
“Pain that happened in the past. I’m not in pain anymore.”
"Oh." He slaps his forehead. "I'm sorry. I misunderstood, I guess. I was surprised because we have a connection and I felt like you liked me back, so hearing that you suffer..." Bucky's eyes soften. "He's an idiot. He never deserved you. A coward and a horrible man. I am sorry you had to go through this."
You wrap your arms around his neck. “You think we have a connection, huh?” You ignore the rest. You don’t wanna think about the past anymore.
"I hope you feel it, too." He sounds so shy and vulnerable you can't help yourself but smile.
“You are in my apartment all alone. What do you think?”
"I think we should dance."
“Dance?” You are surprised by his sudden suggestion.
"Yes. I mean, I am not a great dancer, but I’m decent enough. Can we?"
“Yeah, of course. We should put some music on first.”
"You have a record player?! He doesn't even try to hide his shock and excitement anymore, so you grab him by his hand and drag him toward your record player.
You watch him staring at the big pile of records on the table.
“I have my apartment now, so I can spend my money on books, records, and stuff to cook.”
"Can you adopt me?" He jokes, without taking his eyes off your record player. "Wanna be my mommy? You can be my special young mama."
“Oh?” You try really hard not to smile, a little confused. “How does that work?”
"How do you think it works?" He's not even trying to sound seductive, but he still does. You have to take a deep breath, trying to keep your excitement down.
“I really don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
"Hmm, maybe another time. How about we dance?"
“Okay,” you say and you start to go through your records until you find Frank Sinatra. You put the record on and manage to find There Are Such Things really quickly.
"I love this one! You have a treasure here, doll." You extend your hand out and wait for him to take it so you two can start dancing. "Wanna sway with me, ma'am?" He finally takes your hand and brings you closer.
“I would love that.”
You're not surprised he's a good dancer. You expected this to be honest. But his goofiness, his funny faces, the way his voice feels so pleasant as he sings the lyrics… You feel shy to sing along when he's such a good singer, so you only hum against his chest.
He is warm and strong under your touch. It makes you remember the time you were much closer than this. You wondered what got into you that day, why you acted the way you did. He’s just intoxicating, and you would totally do it all over again.
"What are you thinking about?” He looks at you. “You seem distracted. Wanna do something else?"
His voice takes you back to reality. You are ashamed to admit you were thinking about sex, so you snuggle against his chest.
“No. Let’s keep dancing.”
"Only if you tell me what got you so distracted." You feel his lips on your head as he speaks.
“Your touch.” You try to be honest but also not expose yourself completely.
"What about it? Already tired of it?" You know he does it intentionally. He's so easy to read at this point.
“Yeah, so tired of it, that’s why I wanna keep dancing.” You try to surpass the urge to smile.
Bucky snorts, unable to contain himself. "All types of dancing?"
“How many types of dancing do you know, Sergeant?”
"One that you know for sure, too. We practiced it before." The change of tone is so obvious, and his hands fully wrap around your hips, pushing you more against him. He's so hard.
You look up, not moving away from his chest when you realize you aren’t the only one thinking about sex just because you are dancing. It’s a relief.
“I thought we were doing a regular dance,” you say, but the smile on your lips is giving away your actual feelings about this situation.
"Isn't this regular?"
"If you want it to be."
"Sounds good to me."
"Where should we dance, though? Kitchen? Bedroom? Here? Bathroom?" You start to laugh. He’s such an idiot. "Floor?" He joins you and starts to laugh as well.
“Floor?” You frown. “I think we deserve a bed this time.”
"I was teasing you," He lifts your chin to kiss you properly. "Thought you liked it rough."
“It can be rough in bed.”
He groans at the thought of taking you hard in a soft bed. "I might break it, doll."
“I bet you could.”
"Is that a challenge?" You love the subtle tone in his voice.
“No, it’s a prediction.”
And just like that you finally realize the music has stopped, only the sound of the needle-moving breaking the silence.
"Should we, uhm, play another or…?" He asks curiously, letting you go.
“We can, but I am a little hungry. We can listen while eating, and you can choose the time. How does that sound?”
Bucky's eyes widen. "That's perfect."
*
"I love this. Where did you get it from?" He's playing with the bracelet you're wearing as he eats another strawberry, laying on the couch next to you. It feels so natural, like you did this a million times before, yet still exciting.
“Oh, this?” You move your arm a little, but not away from him. “It belonged to my grandmother.”
"It's so beautiful, a perfect fit for you."
“She told me my grandfather gifted this when they got engaged.”
"Rich." He can't help himself but comment. "Sorry, I mean it's really beautiful, but also kind of expensive. He must have loved her very much." Then he places a small kiss on your wrist, right below your bracelet.
You laugh a little. “How do you think I could afford all this stuff?”
Bucky clears his throat, nervous. "You have a point, I just don't think about money. I don't come from a rich family."
“If you were, you wouldn’t be fighting in this war.” Your tone is suddenly more serious than you intended.
"So you don't mind going out with a nobody?" He sighs, just as serious.
“You are not nobody. Not to me!” You caress his cheek. “You are James Bucky Barnes.”
He melts under your touch immediately. He doesn't remember the last time he felt this type of warmth.
"You're so sweet."
“Wait. Does this mean…” You aren’t sure how to ask, but his comments about being rich remind you of the conversation you had not long ago. “The adopting or mommy thing you said. Does it mean this?”
He laughs so hard you can't believe it. Did you misunderstand? Is it not what it really means?
"I don't know, mama. What do you think that means?"
“Oh, come on! I have no idea and you know it!”
"I think you do."
“Nope. Not at all. Maybe you just want kids. That would make me a mama, right?”
"Hmm." Suddenly he’s distracted by that idea. He's simply too busy imagining his come dripping out of you to give you a proper answer, making you even more curious.
“You are such a tease,” you grumble.
"What does that mean?"
“What do you think that means?” You mimic his question.
Bucky taps his thigh and smiles. "Come here. You can ask me anything." You look at his thighs and then back into his eyes, biting your lip. That offer is so appealing. "I thought you trusted my strength."
“Oh, I do.” You move a bit closer, but not on his lap. “I am just not trusting myself.”
He gasps, bringing you closer himself. "Fuck, why?"
“You know the answer to this one.” You remark cheekly.
"No, I really don't."
“You are lying, mister. You know what I mean when I say I don’t trust myself.” You move your legs, trying to find a comfortable position.
"I don't know exactly what you mean."
“You might find out later then.”
He groans, moving his hands to your breasts, unsure. "I wanna know now."
“I'll tell you only if you promise me that you'll explain the mom thing.” You like how distracted he looks, so you keep leaning in.
"You're a mommy right now."
“And what does that actually mean?”
He's too focused on your breasts to even hear you. "Fuck, look at those hard little things." He can't help but pinch one of your nipples.
“Bucky!”
"So squishy." He's so fascinated as he squeezes the other breast eagerly. He's like a distracted child.
You move a little bit back, so he can’t touch them. "No!" He immediately complains, reaching out to touch them again. "How dare you!"
“No answer, no touching.”
He lifts his head and gives you the most betrayed look you've ever seen. His eyes are almost glossy. "You can't take them away."
“I can actually.” You move a little bit more. “See? They come wherever I go.”
Bucky gasps, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer. "Don't you dare!"
“You are so dramatic.” You laugh while hugging him back.
"I am not." He pouts, burying his face into your boobs again.
“You are.” You move your hips just a little while still hugging him.
"What are you doing?"
“Nothing.”
"Nothing?" He moves his hips, too.
You make a sound you don’t expect but try to act like it didn’t happen. “Yeah, nothing.”
"Fuck me," he whispers to himself before taking your nipple in his mouth through the blouse. He wants to make you moan like that again. He needs to.
“Jesus, Bucky!”
"I'm your Jesus now?" He asks teasingly, switching to the other nipple.
“You can be my God if you keep doing that.” Shit, where did this response come from? He brings out a part of you that you didn’t know it even existed.
"You can't say this." He cries out unexpectedly, still licking you through your blouse. "You can't."
“Why?” It comes out like a whine.
"It's too much."
“You are too much.”
His hands grab the edge of your blouse without warning, but before he can rip it off, you slap his arms.
“You can just take things off without ripping them, you know?” You take the top off yourself, showing him how it’s done. “See, it’s not that hard.”
He ignores your comment and doesn't even warn you before grabbing your boobs and squeezing them together. "Missed you." Then he brings his head right between them, snuggling. You can’t help but laugh. "What's so funny?"
“You are. Look at you.”
"Can't look at me. I'm looking at something better." He licks the valley between your breasts without letting them go, and you curse under your breath. "Gonna take them away from me again?" He lets his tongue get to your right breast, and you feel his teeth dangerously close to your nipple now, making you moan.
“I think I should shut my mouth. I’m boosting your ego way too much.” You play because he’s boosting your ego, too.
"You can shut my mouth, baby. Anytime."
“Shut your mouth how?” You bring your hands over his mouth. “Like this?”
He bites your fingers in response. "Nope. Try again."
You move your hand to his neck and put a little pressure. “Maybe like this?”
He lets out the lowest moan you've ever heard from his mouth, closing his eyes. "Oh."
“Am I getting closer?” You ask. His eyes are so dark when he opens them, you're shocked. “Or did you mean something else?” You whisper right into his ear.
"Ihm. I did, can you guess?" He tries to distract himself before he can think about how much he enjoyed your grip on his neck.
“I’m out of ideas,” you say, making him drop his hand to your skirt. His fingers are playing with the edge of it. You can feel the implication of him wanting to take your skirt off. “You want me to… Shut you up with… Like that?”
"Imagine it." He closes his eyes, palming you over your underwear. "You'd be able to control the movements more."
“Did you… try this before? I don’t wanna hurt you.”
"You think you can hurt me?" He sounds so offended. "Oh, hell no. We should do this right now and I'll show you."
“Of course, I can hurt you. I could crush you!”
He looks at you amused. "Can't wait. Now come here and don't you dare hold back or you'll get a punishment. Got it?"
“Punishment?” Your eyes widen upon hearing that word. You aren’t sure if it’s scary or exciting. Could be both.
"I don't mean hurting you." He realizes immediately how this sounded. "I mean... spanking lightly."
“Oh, that kind of punishment.” You get a bit more relaxed, but your heart is beating fast. You move yourself where he wants you, but it feels so wrong. “I am afraid I might suffocate you.”
Bucky wants to protest immediately, but he stops himself. He knows you only need reassurance.
"How about we have a sign? If I tap three times on the couch, we stop. How about that?"
“Tap on me. Doesn’t matter where. Just on me, so I can feel it immediately.”
He nods, all melted. "Okay, now please don't hover." He gently orders.
“Tell me if I do anything wrong.”
You lower yourself on his face while trying to gather your skirt up for him.
"Can I rip it off or not?"
“You can. I knew you were gonna ask that, so I wore something I don’t like much.”
"Skirt too?"
“No. Not the skirt because I can take it off easily.” You unzip the skirt and take it off your head. “See?”
"Shame..," he says disappointed before finally ripping your underwear off with only one hand. "Finally!"
“You are a savage, Sergeant Barnes.”
"And I think you love that."
“Very much.” You lower yourself on his face, practically shutting him up like he wanted. He doesn't disappoint as he moans against you, making sure you're not hovering before pushing his tongue inside you. “Oh my god!” You yelp when you feel his warm tongue for the first time.
He can't answer as he's too busy eating you, but you feel his hands squeezing your skin harder. You spread your legs even further to feel his tongue better. It feels so good that you have a hard time keeping your voice down.
"Good girl." His praise goes directly to your core, and you curse under your breath, thinking you won’t last long. He can't help himself but bring one of his hands to your clit, hesitating.
“Just your tongue.” You request while moaning, and he agrees wordlessly.
You start to move your hips back and forth, trying not to go overboard and Bucky seems to love it, groaning louder against you, moving his tongue. As it gets more delightful, you have a hard time balancing yourself, so you grab onto his hair with one hand.
"Fuck!" He takes his mouth off just to curse. "Pull as hard as you want."
You pull his hair a little bit more before he puts his mouth back on you, just to see his reaction.
"Jesus, I'm..." he's so hard and excited that he's already started to leak. "I'm gonna make a mess on your couch."
“I’m already making a mess on my couch.” You are dripping wet, and he’s worried about making the mess. He’s so cute, especially when he’s laying down to please you like this.
"Keep bouncing, baby," he demands, then in no time, his tongue is flat, ready to be used by you, and you don’t hesitate.
You hold onto his hair with your right hand as you ride his tongue. You don't even realize how hard you pull until you hear his moans, encouraging you to keep going. He's clearly not suffocating, and you don’t realize how fast you are moving your hips, either. Not until you explode on his face, moaning mindlessly while trying to keep your shaking legs moving until you are done coming.
What surprises you the whole time is how he doesn't stop using his tongue until you finish, trying to hold you in place so he can give you more pleasure. You move yourself back a little after you are done, sitting on his chest and trying to catch your breath. You feel like a mess.
"How was it?" He doesn't move as he asks you that, only wiping his face with the back of his left hand.
“Earth-shattering. Wow.”
He snorts before licking his fingers right under your eyes. "Gonna listen to me next time?"
“Yes, sir,” you jokingly say, feeling boneless but still needing more.
"No." His answer comes more like a groan than an affirmation. "You can't… call me sir."
“Why not, sir?”
"God, it sounds so... great." He doesn't know what else to say, covering his face shily.
“Did I just discover something about you or did you already know this?” You finally move away from his chest, leaning down to kiss him.
"It's something new."
“What about Sargeant? That you must have known.” You move your lips to his cheek, just making them brush his skin.
"Come on. Kiss me." He complains.
“Ask nicely.”
"Please?"
You finally kiss him on the cheek. "You are so pretty when you beg." Then you move your lips to his jaw and neck.
"You are even prettier when you listen."
"Am I? What if I don't listen?"
He brings his hand to your neck. "You're a bad, bad girl. And bad girls get punished." He smiles.
"I never got punished in bed before."
He smiles. "What would you want to try? Spanking as I suggested before?"
"You are giving the orders, remember? Not me."
Bucky raises his eyebrow. "You mean you pretend I'm giving the orders."
"Maybe I want you to give the orders, not just pretend." He squeezes the sides of the neck.
"You can try whatever you wanna try. You can give orders, just stop whenever I say stop."
"Deal.”
*
It feels strange to have him in your bedroom, truth be told. Especially watching him getting rid of his underwear and socks this close to you. His hair bounces with every move, so you can't help but giggle. And he looks so good. Really good, especially under proper lighting.
It’s not the first time you are seeing him half-naked, but you definitely didn’t get a good look while having a quickie in a dark alley. His body looks toned, strong, and capable. You are dying to feel his touch, but you stand still, waiting for him to come to you.
"How many taps when you want me to stop?"
“Three.”
"Good." He smiles assuringly before slowly spreading your legs further. "You're so cute waiting for me."
“Just cute?”
He shakes his head, finally positioning himself at your entrance. His eyes are stuck on you: your hair, face, neck, chest. "You're sweet too," he teases, pushing inside you.
“Fuck.” You moan silently. It feels so good to feel him inside you again. “Sweet? Anything else?” You voice comes out so breathy.
"Smart. Nerdy." He leans in, putting more of his weight onto his elbows. "Beautiful. Brave. Loud and adorable."
“Brave?” You look confused while biting your bottom lip, trying not to make a loud sound.
"Aren't you?" He smiles, starting to thrust a little faster, but not enough to make it impossible to speak. At least for now. "Brave to move on from a failed engagement. Brave to live with your friend here. Brave to accept our date. Brave to test me." His laugh is so contagious.
You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. “You think I tested you?” Your lips are inches away from his.
"I know you did." He kisses you, not waiting for you to do it as he lifts one of your legs on his shoulder. "At the fair." He sounds out of breath this time, his thrusts hitting a little deeper.
You wanna say you didn’t, that it wasn’t a test. It is something that happened, and you don’t regret it, but instead, a loud moan escapes your mouth. The angle change fills you with a different kind of pleasure.
"What a responsive doll you are." He smiles against your neck. "So perfect for me." You pull your legs, spreading your legs even further to give him more space to move. It makes his thrusts feel even better somehow. "Jesus, this is..." He's trying to find the perfect words to describe how he feels, but there are none. "Heaven."
“Oh, god!” It’s hard to keep your voice down when he latches onto the closest nipple, Whatever he’s doing with that tongue, it helps you to feel better down there. It’s driving you closer to your release.
"I'm your god now?" He jokes, stopping the sucking for a few seconds just to tease you.
“Yes! Yes, you are. Keep doing that and I will worship you later.”
He doesn't just continue lick and suck on your breast, he also starts thrusting deeper than before. The sound of the bed moving is even more obvious now. There is no way your neighbors don't know what is happening.
“Shit!” It’s so hard not to curse when he’s pounding like that, hitting all the right spots. “I’m so close,” you whisper, trying to keep your voice down. “Just keep going, don’t change anything.”
"Just like this?" He asks, keeping the same pace as you asked. "Are you going to be good and enjoy yourself?"
“You have no idea…” You try to collect yourself to form a sentence. “How good I feel right now.”
"I do," he says breathlessly before letting his teeth and tongue mark your neck. The pain you feel somehow enhances the pleasure, and you suddenly find yourself throwing your head back, shutting your eyes, and moaning his name over and over again. You’re coming so hard. "I feel like... Doll, please, say my name again."
“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.” It’s all you wanna say anyway. “Please, don’t stop. Please!” You have no idea why you’re begging. You know he won’t stop, yet you still wanna do it. You still wanna beg him not to stop. It feels that good, that precious.
"Never." He manages to answer you between moans. "I'd rather die."
“Oh god, I think I…” Pleasure keeps hitting you in waves. “I might be dying myself.” You never had an orgasm this long. Your whole body is tensed up. You can actually hear your ears ringing.
"Gonna come for you, pretty doll." He bites your neck on another spot.
“Please, please.” It’s like you forgot all the other words. You watch him through a haze how he reaches his orgasm, saying your name like a whisper as he suddenly stays still inside you.
After he finishes, you close the distance and give him a big kiss. Sloppy and loving. It feels like you are thanking him for all the pleasure he’s just given you.
"Hi." He smiles. "Are you good?"
“God! I feel like I am still on the clouds.” You caress his face, carefully admiring his features. “What about you?”
He smiles. "I'm in heaven."
“Does it always feel this good?” The words come out of your mouth unintentionally. You really didn’t mean to ask that out loud. It was just a thought. “I mean, I don’t know what you are doing different to make it feel so good. I didn’t experience this before.” You keep rambling, trying to explain yourself. “So I wonder if it is supposed to feel this good all the time. But I’m not trying to question your past or anything. Don’t get me wrong.” You would keep talking if he didn’t cut you off.
"Breathe, baby. No, it doesn't feel like this with everyone else because you don't always have a connection. I am so glad to hear I made you happy." He smiles like a fool.
You cover your face with your hands. “I shouldn’t have asked that, I am sorry. It feels like it’s something you keep to yourself.”
"What? No. Ask me and I'll answer."
You finally take your hands off your face.
“Okay. I have another question then.” He’s still inside you. and you can feel him getting hard again. “Is it normal that you are already getting hard inside me this quickly?”
He groans. "Told you, you felt amazing."
“That’s not my question, though. Is this normal for you? You always get hard this quickly after coming?” You insist because you wanna know. You have a feeling there’s something different about him, and you wanna prove it to him.
He has no idea about your intention, though. He’s worried that he’s hurting you, so in a few seconds, he quickly gets out of you.
"Sorry. I didn't want to hurt you." He raises from the bed, taking off the used condom as he walks to the nightstand. "And yes, I do become hard like this. Why?"
“You didn’t hurt me.” You want to quickly clear that up. “And you know it takes at least half an hour for other men, right? That’s not… how it normally works.”
Bucky laughs. "They haven't met you."
“I’m talking from experience this time. In this case, they met me. This has nothing to do with me.”
He rolls the second condom on as he speaks. "Maybe I'm a lucky man."
“Okay, you are ignoring too many signs. I have to prove it to you. Bring me that small mirror.”
Bucky starts laughing, but he does what you ask him to, then coming back.. "What are you gonna do, huh?"
You sit on his lap, and just like that he’s back inside you.
“Welcome back.” You joke with a smile. “Now gimme the mirror.” He hands it over, and without explaining anything, you lean down, gently licking and sucking on a certain spot.
Bucky tries desperately not to thrust his hips. After a while, you start to bite his neckless gently, which makes you feel a little guilty.
He doesn't seem to mind though. Quite the contrary. "You can bite harder.”
“Hmm…” If he doesn’t mind, you don’t mind biting harder either. So you do it again, dragging the skin with your teeth. “God, you’re so delicious.”
His hands find their way to your breasts, making sure not to grab them too hard. You bite the same spot again, fand a red spot is already forming.
"Little artist," he says when you reach for the mirror, turning it to him so he can see his neck. It’s clearly dark red. "See? You gave me a hickey. Congrats, baby." He smiles proudly and kisses your cheek.
“Let’s see how long it will take you to heal.”
Bucky rolls his eyes. "I just have a ticker skin, baby. Now come on, please, do something. Why are you torturing me?"
“I’m a small, adorable girl. I don’t know how I am supposed to move.” You are fully lying, and he knows it. So he decides to play your game.
"Bounce a little. Up and down."
You act like you are trying and failing. “Like this?”
Bucky shakes his head. "Try again. Change the angle a bit."
“Oh, come on, Bucky.” You whine. You love and hate how he quickly catches up to whatever you try to do.
"You should be a good little girl and try it yourself."
“Fine.” You frown and start moving for real this time, and he immediately wraps his arms properly around your waist.
"What's wrong?"
“I was teasing you, so you would get tired of it and take control.”
He smiles. "I know."
In response, you punch him in his shoulder. “Then why didn’t you?”
"Why would I give you what you want now?" His voice drops lower. "Wanna push your limits."
“My limits?” You repeat as he brushes your nipples. “You wanna torture me? Make me desperate? Is that what it is?”
Bucky smiles, getting his lips close to yours again, but before he can kiss you, he takes you by the back of the head and moves you. You whine when he gets out of you.
“Bucky! What the fuck?”
"I need you to trust me, okay?" He tries to help get on all fours as he speaks. You nod in agreement. "Need your ass a little higher."
“My ass?” You sound a little afraid. You are definitely not ready for that if that’s his intention.
"Yes." He doesn't notice the change in your tone right away. "Promise I don't- oh, I don't plan on doing anything like that I promise. Just trust me."
You take a deep breath of relief. “Okay.”
"Put your weight on your elbows, okay?" You do as he asks. You switch the weight, putting your head down while your ass goes higher. "Do you feel comfortable?"
“It’s a little weird, but not uncomfortable.”
"Ready?"
“Yes!” You sound impatient, and he quickly pushes inside you. Not too much, afraid he might hurt you in any way. It must feel way deeper like this, and he doesn't want to risk it.
"God," he finds himself moaning. "You feel so good." You can’t respond to him though. All you can do is just moan. It feels incredible. "All good?"
“Yeah.” Your voice feels a little different. Raspy. “You can move.”
Bucky lets out a deep breath before finally trying out a few slow thrusts. "How does it feel?"
“Good. Really good.” It’s like your vocabulary disappears when you two have sex. It’s hard to form sentences or express yourself.
"How about this?" He asks while moving much faster. It's something about this angle that gives him more room to use his strength.
“Jesus Christ!” You mumble. How can it feel this good?
"I don't think I can last as long as before." He groans as he watches you shiver under him. The way you sound like this, your position, the way you feel... He's on another planet.
“I don’t think you have to.” It’s unbelievable how close you are. It’s normally not that easy for you, but things are different when you are with him.
He keeps the same pace, focusing on your moans and the sound of your skin slapping. His mouth somehow manages to find your shoulder and he licks the same spot for a few seconds, making you shiver. "So sweet for me."
Even though you love how he is licking and talking into you ear, him leaning in changes the angle and the pace. It’s not as rough as it was before, and you find yourself moving your hips back, trying to get more friction.
"Look at that." He smiles against your shoulder, sounding fascinated. "Someone is unhappy with my services."
“Not unhappy.” You definitely aren’t. “It’s just… my hips don’t listen to me anymore.”
"Oh, no," Bucky comments amused before getting back to his initial position. "Your poor hips."
You know he isn’t mocking you for real but something about it irritates you. So you stop moving your hips. “Better?”
He lifts his eyebrow even though he knows you can't see him. "Hmm." You suddenly feel a slap on your ass. You make a sound that can only be described as a half moan half yelp.
"What was that?" Another spank follows. This time you’re moaning when the burning feeling spreads on your ass cheek completely. You feel the urge to move your hips again, but you refrain yourself.
"Look at you, bratty little cat. You're getting wetter because of this." He's so excited as he rubs your cheeks with both of his hands, but you can do this later. He's too close. You are, too. And just like that, he's back to fucking you. He doesn't go back to his gentle rhythm. Surprisingly, his thrusts are deep and fast.
“Oh my god!” The rhytm is finally the way you wanted it again. Instinctively, you lean in a bit more, and your head gets buried in the bed while your ass is a little higher than before.
"Jesus, doll." He cries out, feeling so overwhelmed. "I'm so close. So... so close."
Your hand moves to your clit, touching yourself just the way you like it, even though it feels so hard to do while he’s pounding you. That’s all you need to finally reach the climax. You're not quiet at all despite your failed attempt to muffle your moans with your pillow. And Bucky feels like that's it. He doesn't even manage to warn you that he’s following you and coming hard. He softly moans your name after he finishes, falling onto your back just to feel your skin.
His hands wrap around your body and you let yourself fall with him. The indescribable pleasure you felt is still running through your whole body.
"Wow!"
You laugh a little, trying to turn your head. You wanna see him, kiss him, and maybe tease him a little, but he's already prepping kisses all over your neck, then your back.
“You are crushing me,” you say jokingly but it’s half true.
"Oh, sorry." He immediately gets off you, throwing himself on the bed completely.
“Don’t go that far away though.” You exaggerate a little, opening your arms. You want him as close as possible.
Bucky doesn't hesitate to use this as an opportunity to bury his head into your boobs. "Hmm, perfect. I’m in heaven with you and these babies." He kisses both of your breasts to emphasize what he means.
You can’t help but snort. “Babies?”
"Yes, my babies. My dolls."
“I thought they were mine.”
Bucky puffs before snuggling even more. "Only mine."
“And I have no say in this?” You joke again, and he shakes his head. “Does it mean this…” You grab his dick gently. It’s soft and the condom is dangling. “...is mine?”
His whine is so loud, making you giggle. "Of course it's yours."
“Oh, I love this deal.” You use your thumb and index finger to take the condom off.
"Fuck." He closes his eyes.
“Sensitive?”
"A little."
“That’s okay.” You give him a little kiss on the head, then move a little so you can tie the condom up. That makes you see the hickey on his neck again, which is almost gone. You put the condom away and reach for the mirror you used before.
"What?"
“Remember the lovely hickey I gave you?” Bucky nods. “Wanna see it now?” You lift the mirror so he can take a look. He expected to see only a faded pink mark, but instead the skin is intact as if you never bit him.
"How!?"
“That’s my question exactly.”
"What the fuck is going on?" His hand goes to the place your mark used to be and there's no trace of any teeth. "Holy cow."
“I think you are healing faster than any of us.” You stop for a second. “Like Steve.”
Bucky's eyes immediately find yours. "You don't mean..."
“I don’t know what I mean, to be honest, because I don’t know any details. Like… Did you participate in whatever they did to him? Or maybe it’s something transmittable, I don’t know.”
You see him going pale all of the sudden, and your heart drops. He seems to know what caused this.
"They must have done something to me when I was captured. But I didn't change like he did." He looks so confused, like he’s trying to put the puzzle pieces together. "I'm not like Steve."
“You were captured?!” That’s all you focus on. You have to know.
"I was." He sighs, placing the mirror on the floor before pulling you onto his lap. "By Hydra. Long story short, my unit and I were sent at some point at a weapon facility in Europe. In Austria... We were forced to work on an advanced bomber plane. I have no idea what happened to that, but I was so..." Bucky closes his eyes. "I was starving, losing weight every day. I was so weak I couldn't continue, so they did something else."
“Dear God.” You are completely shocked. “Are you okay?”
"I was basically a test subject for a crazy doctor. I thought they just tested different things for a death serum. But now I am not sure at all." He's so lost in his memories now. He is clearly not like Steve, but it's so weird how his health reports were fine. He shakes his head, not wanting to think about it any longer. "I'm more than well when I'm with you." He finally answers your question.
“I’m glad you are here with me.” You give him a full kiss, thinking about all the possibilities, everything that could’ve happened before you two had the chance to meet. You wouldn’t even know who he is and that somehow hurts more.
"You're so precious." He hugs you so tightly you feel like you're about to cry.
You try not the think about how he could’ve been still a captive. You can’t imagine how horrible that experience must be, but you don’t wanna cry. Not when he’s in your arms like this.
“Wanna test out how super you are?” You suggests instead. A change of subject can help you both.
"Want me to cook for you? Going to prove to you I am marriage material after all." He smiles.
Your eyes widen with surprise. “Marriage?” That definitely wasn’t what you were expecting him to say.
"Don't mind me, doll. What did you have in mind?"
“No, no, no. You can’t say that and leave it at that.”
Bucky strokes your hair. "What else can I say? I'm embarrassing myself."
“Embarrassing yourself? Nope, you aren’t.” You shake your head. “You are giving me hope but don’t do it if you don’t mean it, okay?”
"Of course I mean it," he immediately says, not letting you doubt even for a second. "But I thought... it is a bit early. I didn't want to be overbearing."
“It’s not. I know we don’t know each other that well yet and we might change our minds later. I’m not taking this as a promise or anything.”
"Well," he raises your hand and brings it to his mouth just to place a soft kiss on it. "I would be lucky if you wanted me after all of this." You give him a confused look, and he clarifies: "This whole weird healing thing and my sad story." He snorts, belittling himself. You are not having any of this though.
“I think it’s…” You try to find the right words. “really hot, and I really wanna test your limits because I think your healing applies to your… recovery, too. Remember how quickly you got hard again?”
Bucky laughs. "So it's all about this, huh?"
“What? Don’t you wanna find out if I am right?”
"I don't have another condom, love." He sighs.
“I mean we did it without a condom before.” It’s the truth, but it feels so weird to ask for more after having great sex. You should be content with it, but no, your body craves more.
Bucky kisses your shoulder again.
"I know, but we risked it. I don't want to make you take a risk. Even if I don't spill inside you..." You don’t like the fact that he’s right. What you don’t realize is that your face is showing what you are thinking. "I can use my tongue if you want." He smiles, trying to find another solution.
“The point is testing your limits, Sergeant.”
"My limits of my tongue count." He kisses you for a few seconds.
“You are so annoying, rejecting my offer, Sargaent.”
Bucky gasps. "I did not! I just tried to look out for you."
“It’s okay.” You make a move to get up. “Let’s get cleaned up.”
He grabs you by your wrist. "Don't do this to me."
“I’m just listening to what you are saying.”
He frowns. "Then why do I feel like the bad guy?"
“Because you rejected this…” You show yourself. “A pretty girl’s offer for more sex.
"My pretty girl wants sex even without protection?"
“She does.” You purse your lips, feeling a bit vulnerable and trying to cover it.
"Then…" He pulls you closer and kisses you gently, holding your face with both of his hands.
“You love torturing me,” you say between kisses.
"Not as much as you do."
"Wanna do the honors or should I?" He grabs his cock with a hand, waiting for you to move or just say something.
“Oh, be my guest. Do whatever you wanna do. Just pull out in time.”
"Promise." He kisses you before getting inside you in one swift motion.
*
There are no words to describe how tired you feel. Exhausted comes close, but it doesn’t cover the pleasure you are still feeling despite your jelly legs. You aren’t sure if you made the best or the worst decision of your life when you suggested testing his limits because you lost the count of the orgasms you had. You are ruined. Simply ruined by him. No man will ever compare.
"Did I pass?" Bucky asks breathlessly, holding you against his chest. “Am I husband material?"
You can’t believe he is still wondering that. This wasn’t meant to be a husband material test, but you gotta admit that he passed with flying colors.
“You know we weren’t testing that, right?”
"Such a loss." He plays amused. "What did we test then?"
“How quickly your body can recover, and now we can safely say that you are not a regular guy.”
Bucky sighs. "Then what am I?"
“You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” You run your hand on his cheek, gently caressing it before giving him a big kiss. You wonder why he wants to be a regular guy. He’s perfect the way he is.
Bucky immediately melts under you. "That's not nice. You read my thoughts and use them against me," he explains more emotionally than before.
“Maybe we are just sharing the same thoughts and feelings.”
"We are a perfect match."
“It seems so.” You quickly agree. “And you are perfect the way you are. I get that you don’t know what exactly this is but it seems cool so far.” You try to put his mind at ease. “And no one knows about it. You don’t have to be like Steve, you can keep being yourself.”
"You're so sweet." He leaves a soft kiss on your hair.
“I’m not usually sweet. Maybe it’s the afterglow talking.” You joke to lighten the mood.
He snorts. "You're the sweetest person I've ever met."
“Now that’s a lie.” You keep the same tone.
"If that's a lie, I am a normal guy."
“That’s even a bigger lie. You are nowhere close to being a normal guy. Normal guys suck.”
Bucky's fingers travel to your belly. "Is that so?"
“No, no, no.” You try to avoid getting tickled. “Bucky, please.”
"Say you're the sweetest girl in the world, and I might show you some mercy."
“Fine, fine, fine.” You accept the defeat. “I’m the sweetest girl in the world. Okay?”
"I can't hear you." He tickles you harder.
“BUCKY!” You protest, but he doesn’t stop. “I’M THE SWEETEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.”
"Good." He finally lets go, grabbing your face just to give you the sloppiest kiss you've ever shared. “Now close your eyes. You need to sleep."
You wanna be mad at him for tickling you hard, but you can’t.
“Oh, I gotta clean myself a little first.”
“Let me help you. Where do you keep your towels?"
You already thought he was perfect, but he’s showing you he’s even better than you thought. How is he real? How did you get this lucky? You don’t know.
“Just sit down, baby. I can handle those.”
"Let's make a deal: I change the sheets while you clean if you want." You wanna say no and you can handle those. but you are so tired.
“Sounds like a good plan.” You can’t deny that it’s efficient, and you wanna see if he can do it right. This is the real marriage material test, but he won’t know until you see the results. You hand him the new sheets and leave him to work, so you can clean yourself pretty quickly.
You really made a big mess. Cleaning takes longer than you expected, but when you come back, you find a freshly made bed.
"Ready for bed now?"
“Yeah.” You inspect the sheets. He made the bed perfectly. “Unbelievable.” You didn’t mean to say that out loud, but it came out anyway. “Perfectly made. I think I will have to marry you, Sergeant Barnes.”
He smiles widely. "So I passed my test?"
“Yep.” You move onto the bed. “If you can cook as well, I won’t ever let you go. Say goodbye to your bachelor days.”
Bucky pulls you to him. "Goodbye, bachelor days."
You laugh while kissing him.
“Let’s sleep.” You snuggle closer while he yawns.
*
You have been awake for a couple of minutes, just trying to fully wake up and freely watch Bucky sleeping. He looks so pretty and innocent.
Long lashes, kissable lips, big arms. God, why does he have to be this pretty?
You lean in, with the intention to give him a kiss like a normal person, but god, those arms look so biteable. Before you can change your mind, you bite his arm and watch him slowly wake up. Then you start giving him small kisses: on his arm, on his cheeks, and finally when he opens his eyes, on his lips.
"Good morning." He gives you an innocent look.
“Good morning, handsome.” You kiss his cheek again.
"Handsome?" His voice is so raspy in the morning.
“Yeah, handsome. Very very handsome.”
He smiles when you snuggle closer to him. "So sweet. I have a question. Do you have a toothbrush for me?" His eyes are semi-closed as he asks.
“Oh, sure. I can find one.”
"I didn't realize I will stay over. I'm sorry for wasting one of yours."
“Oh, shut up.” You push him a little playfully. “You can waste anything you want.”
You come closer to give him a kiss. You don’t care about the toothbrush or anything else. You are just enjoying being in bed with him.
"My breath smells really bad." He shakes his head, embarrassed. You shrug and give him a kiss anyway. You are sure your breath doesn’t smell good either, but that doesn’t stop you. "Such a stubborn lady."
“I just don’t care, and for your information, it doesn’t smell bad.” You keep kissing him.
"If you continue, doll, we might end up doing something else."
“Hmm.” You act like you don’t know what that means.
“Hmm?”
“Yeah, hmm.”
"What can it mean?"
“No idea.” You don’t move away, you don’t kiss him. You just look at him.
"Okay then." He gives you an innocent look. "Time for me to go to the bathroom."
You kiss his cheek, giving him space to get up. He pouts a bit disappointed but doesn't say anything.
“What?”
"Nothing. So where do I find a toothbrush?" He finally gets up.
“I will show you.” You follow him to the bathroom.
"Also, do you have any allergies?”
His question catches you off guard. “Not that I know off. Why?”
"Gonna cook something for you."
“You really want that ring, don’t you?” You joke with a big smile on your face.
His laugh fills the bathroom. "You want to give me a ring?"
“How else am I gonna make sure others know you are taken?”
"You don't need a ring for that. At all."
“Yeah, you are right. I was just joking.”
He smiles. "Wait for me in the bed. Whatever happens, you stay there, okay?"
“Okay.” You raise your hands in defeat.
"Good girl, go now." He pats your ass before letting you go.
You can’t help but smile on your way back to the bed. If this is how being married to Bucky is gonna be, you are down for it.
*
"Come on, another bite. Please."
“Fine.” You take another bite. It’s delicious but you are full. So full. The breakfast he made was simply amazing. You might really need to find a ring to put on him, because he’s definitely husband material.
"Good girl, and drink more water."
“I’m so full,” you say after taking a sip. “The food was just amazing.”
"You're full, huh?" He snorts.
“I am.” You give him a look, not understanding what he means.
"I think you can take more."
“No more food, please.”
"Oh, sweetheart." Bucky gives you a smirk. "That is not what I meant."
“Oh!” You finally get it and start to giggle wile takes a bite of pancakes from your plate.
"Oh, indeed."
“You wanna?”
"Do you?" He stares back.
“You are so annoying.”
"Annoying enough to get you to kiss me?"
You give him a short kiss. “Thanks for the breakfast.”
"I didn't have mine, though."
“You can eat this.” You offer your leftovers. You’re sure that they’re more than enough to make him feel full, too.
"But I don't want that.” He whines. "I want you."
“You can have me.”
"Want you on my face."
“Again?” You sound surprised. “I thought you would want something that you would enjoy as well.”
"Excuse you? I enjoy that." His tone shows that he’s totally offended.
“Oh, you do?”
Bucky laughs so loud. "I cannot believe it wasn't clear."
“I mean… I’m not used to that. Maybe that’s why.”
"The question is if you’d like to do that again."
“Oh, yeah.” You nod eagerly. “I would love that.”
"Then…" He places the food carefully on the table next to the bed.
You bite your lip while getting up and taking your underwear off. He watches you excited as he gets on his back completely, waiting. This time you know what to do. So you get back to the bed and straddle his face.
"Use me however you want, okay? Don't stop."
“Tap on my thighs if you want me to stop, okay?” He nods and you lower yourself completely. He doesn’t even wait for a few seconds. “Jesus, Bucky.” You breath out. It’s hard not to make a sound when he works that enthusiastically. He doesn't say anything in return, too focused on spreading your lips with his tongue. You moan loudly and start to ride his face, and you realize shortly he loves it as his hands help you quicken your pace just the way you like it.
“Oh, god…” You try to get support from the headboard. “This feels so good.”
He groans against you, so hard, thrusting his hips in the air because you taste amazing.
You start to move a little faster as you feel like you are getting closer to your release. His nose starts to bump up against your clit from time to time and that adds an another level of pleasure.
"Keep going," he says breathlessly before taking you by surprise and slapping your ass twice.
“Fuuck. I’m- I’m so close.”
"Hmm." He slaps your right ass cheek one more time as his tongue moves to your clit. The sounds you are making don’t sound human anymore. You are aware of it, but it’s so hard to care when you start to come so hard on his tongue. He doesn't let go or stop licking you until he feels you are done, then he gently helps you move.
"Hi."
“Ahh.” You struggle to find your voice. “Hi.”
He giggles while cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand. "Feel good?"
“God, I’m keeping you. That’s it. That was my last drop.”
Bucky moans excited. "Are you proposing to me, love?"
“Well, not like this, and I gotta buy a ring first,” you jokingly answer.
"Hmm." He brings you close to his face so he can kiss you. "Maybe I will accept."
“Maybe? What can I do to guarantee a yes?”
Bucky smiles. "Who knows?"
“Maybe I should return the favor.”
"No need for that."
“Wouldn’t that help though? I wanna increase my chances.” You continue with that same joking tone.
"A little. What is your plan?"
“Give you head and then propose I guess.”
He suddenly blushes. “I didn’t expect you to say it so openly but love to hear what you think."
“Then I will keep speaking like this.” You move your face to give him a kiss on the lips. “So… You want it or not?”
Bucky nods and dutifully stays on his back, opening his legs more. You carefully undress him and settle between his legs. He’s already half hard and he looks so pretty laying like that, waiting for your next move. You start slowly, just moving your hands up and down, letting him enjoy it.
You lean down and start leaving kisses to him all over his skin. "Ahh." You move onto his thighs, placing your hand on his cock without moving it.
"Gonna torture me?"
“Is this your definition of torture?”
"I'm a man."
“And I am a woman who enjoys what she is doing.” You don’t give him a chance to respond. You run the tip of your tongue from the bottom to the top of his cock.
"Oh, God." He closes his eyes for a couple of minutes.
“Open your eyes if you want me to continue.”
"Sorry..." he groans, opening them.
“Look at me the whole time, okay? Watch what I am doing to you. Think about this moment whenever you feel like giving up.” Then you finally take him inside your mouth.
"Oh, Jesus." His hands immediately get into your hair. "N-no warning?" You shake your head while your mouth is full of him. "I don't think I could forget this even if I wanted to."
You hum around his cock before you start to properly bob your head. You try to look at him, memorizing his reactions and see what he likes the most.
"Use your tongue more around the head, please."
You do what he asks, twirling your tongue around the head and watching him fall apart.
"Baby," he hisses. "Just like that."
You wrap your hand around the base after taking your mouth off it. Your fingers work on him while you take one of his balls inside your mouth, gently sucking to see if he likes it or not. He's so close as he bites his bottom lip.
"You're a dirty little girl.” You hum in response, your mouth being too full to be able to answer him. "Wanna paint your face." It feels like the words are just spilling from his mouth.
You finally let go of his ball.
“My face, huh?” You ask before taking him back in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the head once again.
"You're a dirty girl, and I have to a make you dirtier. Would you like that?"
You shake your head in agreement, then you start moving your mouth and hand at the same time, going up and down until he quickly pulls out when he feels he's coming. And just like that, your face and hair are getting covered. You close your eyes and for some reason stick your tongue out.
"God, baby. You drive me insane." He finishes coming and stares at the way you lick some of his come. You can only open one of your eyes as his come is dripping on the other one. Then you wipe it off from your eyelid and lick it clean. "And you will make me get hard again."
“We know that doesn’t take much.” You giggle, remembering last night.
"You're so pretty like this. I can't..." He smiles watching you clean yourself more.
“I am not sure about that.” You smile. “I should go and clean myself properly.”
"Should we take a bath?" He excitedly asks
“Oh, that sounds great.”
Bucky helps her get up. "Let's go."
*
"Look at this," he leans in to kiss your forehead, taking the cup from you. "Thank you."
“After last night and this morning, the coffee was needed. At least for me.”
"I am human too, you know? I need coffee."
“You are a super human.” You smile before taking a sip.
"I hope my tongue is a super tongue, too." He winks and takes a few sips from his coffee. "So good. Now, I have something and I forgot to give it to you since we were... busy."
“Oh?”
Bucky nods and brings his hand into his left pocket. "Like I promised." Then he takes out a small wrapped up package.
“What is this?” You take it and quickly open it without destroying the wrapping. “Oh my god, Bucky! You got me new stockings!”
“Wanna try them on?"
“Right now?” You are surprised by his request.
"Yep. If you want, of course."
“You just want me to get undressed in front of you again.” You joke while standing up. You don’t mind trying them at all.
"Don't act as if you don't."
“See you get undressed or get undressed myself?” You take the stockings out of the package while talking.
"Both.” He watches you as you put them on, fascinated. “How do they feel?"
“They feel really nice.” You move your leg a little, inspecting the stockings. “High quality. Where did you even find this?”
"Pulled some strings. Being a soldier has its perks, you know? Being friends with Captain America, too."
“You did not!”
"What?" He laughs at your tone.
“You used your Captain America advantage to get me stockings?”
"Yep."
“Oh my god!” You have a huge smile on your face when you are walking toward him. And without a word, you sit on his lap, straddling him and wrapping your arms around his neck. “Thank you. These are much better than the ones you ripped off.” You give him a kiss on his right cheek. “So you get a kiss.”
"So generous." He kisses you properly.
“Such a gentleman.” You pause for a few seconds before adding. “With dirty tendencies.”
"Well, I got a dirty girlfriend."
“Please, I’m pretty innocent.” You move away from his lap. “We didn’t even meet up in my apartment because that would be inappropriate.” You finally snort. “At least that’s what my friends think.”
"And you call them friends?"
“Gotta keep my reputation intact.” You shrug. That’s the way it is. “Oh, speaking of friends! I gotta ask you something otherwise Cassie will kill me.”
"What?"
“She wanted me to ask about Steve. Apparently, she hasn’t heard from him.”
"Oh…" It's all that Bucky says.
“Oh?”
"I didn't know."
“She wants to know if he ever mentions her.”
He doesn't know how to answer for a couple of seconds. Steve has never been into romance. "He's very focused on the future plans against Hydra."
“Well, that’s not surprising. If he thought about her, he would find a way to contact her, I guess.”
"He doesn't think about pretty much anyone, I am sorry."
You shrug. “I hope she doesn’t shoot the messenger.”
"I am sorry. Steve is very... particular. About life and work. He wanted to be in the army for so long, he doesn't see anything else."
“That’s… sad.” You reach for the coffee mug. “What about you?”
"Obviously not interested in sex or romantic life." He jokes once again, hoping that it would change the mood.
“I meant about life and work, but we can talk about that too,” you say with a smile.
"I don't like fighting, you know? It's never ending." Even his voice sounds tired as he talks about it.
“I sensed that you don’t enjoy fighting, but I think you are pretty good at it. At least it seems that way, and I feel like you aren’t focused on the fight, but mostly on what can come after when this is all done.”
Bucky sighs, approving what you said with a nod. There is something scary and confusing about what the future. If he survives. What will change? After so much death and loss, what will happen?
"I hate this so much."
You have this urge to hug him and tell him it’s gonna be fine. Yet you don’t know if that’s the truth and you don’t wanna lie. “I hate it, too. It’s like our lives are completely revolving around the war.“
"Yes, but let's not think about it, baby." He kisses your forehead.
“It’s easier not to think about it when you are around.”
"You help me with that, too."
“Oh, do I?” You smile. “What do you think about instead of war when you are with me?”
"I think only about you."
“Another thing we have in common.”
Bucky smiles. "You're so smooth."
“Smooth? I meant I am thinking about myself, too.” You stick your tongue out a bit cheekily.
"Nice try." He snorts, amused by your comment. "I totally understand why you'd think about yourself, though."
“Why would I think about myself?” You wanna know what he’s thinking.
"You're funny, amazing, beautiful, smart." He kisses your cheeks. "You got everything."
“And what about you?”
"What about me?" He asks confused.
“What do you have?”
"Strings to buy you more stockings."
“Oh!” You both start to laugh. “That’s not all, though.”
"Right, I also got Captain America as my friend."
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
Bucky sighs. "I don't have much to offer unfortunately. I have 4 siblings."
“Jesus, do you really not know?”
"If you mean sexually..."
“Not only that. Stop underestimating yourself, you have a lot to offer. Look at me.” He lifts his head as you asked. “I love spending time with you. It doesn’t matter what we are talking about, it’s always interesting. You are smart, funny, thoughtful and so so pretty.”
Bucky melts under your eyes. "No one called me pretty before."
“You are so pretty, you have no idea. These eyes…” You touch the corner of his eyelid. “These lines,” You caress the smile lines. “These lips…”
He blushes instantly feeling your touch and brings your hand closer to his lips in order to kiss it. "You're so sweet."
*
After spending a little bit more time in your apartment, you and Bucky decide to go for a walk. He’s here for a limited amount of time and he should make the most of it. Maybe you can stop by a book or a record store together, eat something he craves and enjoy this sunny day to the fullest. You don't even realize how close you are until you feel his hand touching yours, subtly trying to hold it.
You feel butterflies in your stomach. You did a lot of stuff together so far, but you haven’t held hands yet. Not publicly. Not like this. You open your hand, just showing you want him to hold it, and he does proudly.
"Do you want some ice cream, sweetheart?"
You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. It’s so hard to fight the urge to smile. This might be the best day of your life. The sun is shining, Bucky is by your side, holding your hand. You don’t think life gets better than this.
“I would love that.” He smiles before leaning in to kiss your head. Suddenly, you feel the urge to say what you have been thinking. He should know.
“You know that I will wait for you if you want, right?” You can’t help it. All the marriage and proposal jokes aside, you really want him in your life.
Bucky stops walking suddenly. "Doll..." He sighs, still holding your hand. "I don't want to make you go through this."
“You think I won’t go through it if we act like this means nothing, but you are wrong.”
"I did not say that! This is not nothing, but I can't be engaged to you and leave you behind like this."
“Who said anything about being engaged?”
"We talked about getting married a lot. So I thought..."
“I didn’t say I don’t want to. I just meant that we don’t have to get engaged if that’s your concern.”
"I don't know. Either way I can't let you go through that." He shakes his head. The last thing he wants is for her to wait for him not knowing if he will survive. "Because if I die..."
“If you die… I would be devastated regardless. It doesn’t matter even if we decide not to see each other anymore.”
He doesn't say anything else, instead, he pulls you to him in the tightest hug you've ever felt.
"I don't want to lose you."
“Believe me, I don’t wanna lose you, either.” You wrap your hands around his body, burying your face into his chest. “My kidnapping offer still stands.”
You hear him snort. "You're just making up excuses to have me tied up."
“Do I need to?”
"No." He breaks the hug and reaches out for your hand again. "My future wife doesn't need excuses. You're stuck with me."
“And you are stuck with me.”
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Writing this because I don’t see anyone analyzing the Kab lore and I’m genuinely intrigued as to how people are viewing it.
It’s just such an interesting and all over the place story atm. I have a huge amount of faith that she will make an amazing story by the end of the season. I’m willing to let her cook. She has to get practice in this somehow.
But also she’s just so all over the place. And not really embracing the depth of mcrp, but that's a different story.
This started from having a hard time drawing the line between lore and not lore because I refuse to just say “Kab in the box was lore and everything else is not” even though I’m pretty sure that is like exactly how she views it.
Because the moment Red killed her she went to chat and said something like “chat it only took me three weeks to get lore on the server!” Like girl it’s been lore. All of it is lore.
And then the box arc was just like, enter the box angry at Red because he’s forcing you to hide, go through your friends and realize you care about them, go through the rest of the team and remember you f-ing hate all of them, including the friends at the start. Leave the box angry at Red, using pacifism as a cover to get close to Woogie to destroy Red.
Like am I crazy to say that she didn’t change in the slightest because of the box and you could take that whole arc away and nothing would be different?
But what IS interesting about that is how she never got over Red killing her. Never. I think she hoped that the box would soothe her out of that hate and come to a different conclusion, but by the end the (almost too real) rage about him killing her, especially after she made him that armor, pervades to this day.
Now THAT’S lifesteal, holding the hurt until it has a real resolution, not trying to get yourself over it quicker. As Red said last season “we make our best content when we actually hate each other” (not a direct quote, Zam said it) and as uncomfortable as that is to blend real hate into the ability to tell a story, there is real truth to that, that unless you, You the Writer, actually Care about the stakes of the story, you’re not going to write a good story. And nothing makes you care more than actually caring.
But Kab puts up these walls around herself to delineate character vs streamer. She is, to her credit, quite good at being in character, to the point where when she drops the character it is so jarring to be told none of it is real, this is just lore. It’s wildly jarring. And makes it quite difficult to find her character to be endearing? At least for me. Because she consistently does little things to break the fourth wall like clearly having left the box to get materials. Girl PLEASE why did you not just include getting materials and being paranoid about being caught as a PART of that story?? Sigh.
So she, in her mind, has a very clear distinction for what is her character. And a distinction for what she herself is willing to do. And that separation makes basically everything she says “in character” a lie; like she can say what she wants, be dramatic and make a cool tragic character, but that will not have a real meaning on who she is as a character on Lifesteal as a whole.
And what I find fascinating is that despite that, she is a mirror to whoever is in front of her. She absolutely becomes whatever the person in front of her is.
She comes out of the box saying she will use pacifism to get to Woogie. But then Flame blows up spawn and she feels bad, so she talks to Zam and within 5 seconds you can tell she’s fully dedicated to that task. She fully embraces being pacifist. Because Zam is pacifist.
But then Zam leaves to practice MCCR and next thing you know she’s talking to Wemmbu and within 5 seconds he convinces her to kill Planet publicly and with everyone online, breaking her away from pacifism.
This also despite the fact that Wemmbu is Shit at instigating people like Zam and Pangi. He tried SO HARD to get them to kill him or change their views. But one devil on the shoulder to Flame got him to blow up spawn and one second with Kab got her to cave and kill Planet (TWICE! And get Mid’s heart!). SOOOO interesting how his approach works so wildly differently on new members vs old.
So she mirrors whoever is around her. What a fascinating character trait out of the master manipulator. Is it manipulation? Or does she really fully and truly emotionally believe what she says in those moments? Does she come back with manipulation ideas after to fit whatever impulse she had in the moment?
And then there’s the Mapicc castle. I 100% believe she was the one to blow it up. Maybe I’m just projecting. Maybe it was wemmbu during the window he had his pc and when he didn’t. Maybe it was someone else.
But she just declared herself evil. It’s only natural to try and instigate chaos and get the members blaming each other for things that you did.
But she was SO GOOD during that conversation. Brainstorming and giving ideas for who else it could be, pinning the wemmbu heads on Mid but also pulling back and saying it couldn’t be her for the explosions, trying to work out the timeline. Like in so many ways she sounded like Spoke making up a story and being Unhelpful(TM). And she went out of her way to drive to her office just to have this conversation.
But also she seemed so helpful, so genuinely trying to brainstorm and pick apart this juicy puzzle in front of her. And therefore just curious, not manipulative.
GAH I just can’t decide! She’s either completely brilliant or completely incompetent and succeeding by accident!
And it’s even more interesting given the thought that she came into Lifesteal riding the high of MoneySMP and how she pulled off a betrayal arc super well. But that was Kab vs rando content creators in the mcyt space.
Now she’s Kab vs the very people who defined betrayal in mcyt. Everyone on lifesteal shares her ability to lie and manipulate. The thing that once made her unique is the very fabric of the server she is on. She thinks she’s got a leg up on everyone, but she’s merely on the same playing field. And that’s so dang interesting. Because she still doesn’t consider herself to merely be on the same playing field. She still thinks she’s better at this than anyone else.
She said during the stream where Mane destroyed the Mice base (7/23/24) that she likes playing cocky characters because it makes the fall all the greater. But she just IS that cocky at times. Every time she’s jumped she’s giggly and cocky about being slick and avoiding being killed again because she sits on the respawn screen.
So she’s cocky and willing to cause chaos, but she’s not the progenitor of chaos. She is not a worldender. She only causes chaos when someone nudges her towards it, not out of an internal desire to be chaotic and an understanding of the need for chaos on lifesteal.
And perhaps it’s because deep down, she cares about the people on the server. Not in the way Zam cares where he feels awful about everything he does that is evil and repents and has remorse over his actions.
But she is affected by her caring. One of the most interesting moment of Kab lore was when she saw the photo of Mane standing in the blown up Mice base.
KAB: “wow […] I knew he would blow it up, but like seeing the image is still like, fuck”
CLOWN: “really?”
KAB: “THIS HASN’T HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE”
CLOWN: “hasn't it happened to you like twice?”
KAB: “he didn’t blow it up last time [...] I think, I think I have to leave. I think I should leave. I’m putting like hannah and red and leo at risk right now”
It’s an involuntary reaction, something that is intrinsic to her core. She immediately went to: I should stop being on this team so I can save Hannah and Leo. I don’t want to see them get hurt.
And this is before she knew Woogie was wanting to leave the Mice because he thought she was a threat!
This was before Red killed her!
She came to this conclusion that she was dangerous to her friends outside of them agreeing with it.
And she never brought this back up when she was in the box. She to this day thinks she did nothing intrinsically wrong (ie dangerous to others) by antagonizing Mane. At least as a character she refuses to accept this. But for a second there Kab Kaboodle came through and knew that to be an intrinsic fact. And then she didn’t expand on it. Missed opportunity tbh.
And then I’ll end with an analysis of the Mane conversation after he blew up the base. Because it’s so interesting to see Kab banter in lore (though I suppose from her pov it wasn’t lore yet because this was before Red killed her) and see her say Way Too Much. She says she’s a master manipulator but girl you leak freaking everything.
So, she says what she said above, then a few minutes later gets in vc with Mane.
MANE: “you didn’t think I had the guts.. To blow up the base of [unintelligible]”
KAB: “[talking over him] you didn’t blow up the other one”
This whole conversation Kab interrupts Mane so much. She has to say things, to prove herself. Even when staying silent would give her so much more information.
MANE: “I’m gonna be honest, I was just looking for a reason”
Every pvper on lifesteal ONLY acts evil when they have a reason. It’s so consistent. It’s never “just because”.
Kab says she put posters up of him bc she thought it was funny.
MANE: “yeeaa I find it funny too um. You said you're not scared which, I- I find pretty amusing”
KAB: “ok!”
MANE: “because you're obviously pretty scared”
KAB: “you’re not scary. Dude. like your strength of the sword doesn’t fucking scare me dude. When you actually get smart and shit then then come talk to me”
Super cocky. Super dismissive. Just looking for a power dynamic to make her regain control over the situation. That’s not manipulation that’s just a power grab.
MANE: “Ok. I’ll talk to you when I get smart I guess but I mean, I dunno, according to these dogs here you've been at, at the deepest level of the cave for for a while, almost like you’re hiding. [pause, Kab freezes and pulls up coords] am I right about that? That seems pretty scared to me. I dunno. But um”
Mane absolutely cooks in this conversation but Kab just refuses to be affected by his lines and instead mocks him for being stereotypically tough guy. And yet she got scared there. She brought up her coords.
KAB: “[scoff] alright buddy”
MANE: “I dunno the way that you’re like, you're like interacting and the way that you’re like going about this is not the way that I would go about it personally”
KAB: “well, we’re very different people”
MANE: “I mean. Okay. how do I rephrase this. The way that you’re going about this is not the way any other person has gone about this before”
KAB: “thank you!”
MANE: “it’s not a complement.”
KAB: “I think it’s a complement. I appreciate that”
MANE: “I’m calling you stupid.”
KAB: “I try to be original”
MANE: “you’re being stupid”
KAB: “maybe in your eyes yea”
MANE: “cause you’re gonna make a new base, I mean, you haven't even stopped to question how I found this one, which is quite interesting.”
He’s calling her stupid for not asking more questions. Especially after she just called HIM the stupid one. He’s clearly smarter than he looks
KAB: “oh I know how you found it”
MANE: “how did I find it”
KAB: “my team already told me, I’m not telling you”
Instead of fishing for more information, playing dumb, Kab instead goes for posturing that she is far smarter than him. She could’ve used this to make him think she’s stupid or to actually learn how he found the base so she can be safer in the future (later she tells chat the she has no idea how he found the base). And interesting move out of someone who wants to manipulate people. Usually you would want to play dumb, not play cocky.
MANE: “[scoff] you don’t know how I found that base”
KAB: “okay! You can believe that”
MANE: “yea, because if you did, there’s no secret to keep from me. Like the way I found the base myself”
KAB: “[interrupting] girl you know I don’t use that base right?”
MANE: “okay. That’s your teammate’s base”
KAB: “that’s fair. That is my teammate’s base. I more feel bad for them rather than me.”
MANE: “yea. Yea. I feel bad for them too. It would suck to like, like, if I had a teammate, you know, especially considering like the fact that you, you- overall you’re team’s isn’t like the most skilled um if I was always suffering the consequences of my teammate’s actions who obviously doesn’t care about what they say”
He’s using the info Woogie gave him to make her feel bad/see if she does feel bad AND SHE DOESN’T HIDE A SINGLE THING!
KAB: “girl if you’re trying to guilt me it’s not gonna work”
MANE: “I’m not trying to guilt you, I I’m just saying like, if I was your teammate I- I would feel horrible, you know? You’re like” [.... devolves as mane is like if you want to loose teammates you can, and kab goes don’t mansplain to me (again, being cocky. refusing to be scared)]
MANE: “even if you’re not scared, you’re putting your teammates in jeopardy, which you clearly already know, which is very interesting, very interesting trait for someone who cares about her team. So. I just wanted talk to you and get your consensus on the situation”
He was fully going to stop the conversation there. But she just missed the cue and started to willingly gave him more information because her adhd ass thought that was a question not a statement /pos
KAB: “yea.. I’m I’m not overly fussed. It’s inconvenient. and that’s about it. It’s inconvenient”
MANE: “for who?”
KAB: “me”
She’s revealing that her motivations on lifesteal revolve around herself. She cares more about herself than teammates in the long run. Like I said earlier, she intrinsically does care about people, but on lifesteal in particular she will first care about herself.
MANE: “oooooh. See but you just said you care about your teammates and [unintelligible]”
KAB: “I do, but let’s be real two of them don’t log on very often and Leo’s been doing his own thing anyway. So”
MANE: “oh. I guess you’re team’s already disbanded so” Mane brings back up how he just wanted to see what she thought about it. Again she just keeps talking.
KAB: “I think you’re being predictable and I think that’s helpful”
MANE: “aw yea bro, glad I could help out”
[…more chatting]
MANE: “If hiding doesn’t mean that you’re scared, I don’t know what hiding means”
KAB: “I mean not everything has to have and emotional reaction”
MANE: “I mean it’s not really an emotional reaction: if you’re hiding you’re scared of something”
KAB: “scared is an emotion”
MANE: “nah, fear is an emotion” DAMN SON. he really can just drop the dramatic bars bro.
KAB: “fear is an emotion. I say being fearful and being scared is the same thing.”
MANE: “if you weren’t fearful you wouldn’t be hiding”
KAB: “that's not necessarily true”
MANE: “how”
KAB:” okay-”
MANE: “hold on hold on hold on. [wanting direct clarification] Before we get into that, you’re saying that you’re not scared.”
KAB: “no. [laughing at him]”
MANE:” You’re not scared at all”
KAB: “no. I’m not scared at all”
MANE: “Okay. as long as we get that out of the way”
KAB: “I’m just not an idiot. But I’m not scared at all, no.”
MANE: “okay. Ooooh, so you’re saying like the smart thing to do is hide”
(/genuinely realizing this in real time. He did not understand this until this very moment)
KAB: “I mean, yea. Let’s be realistic. You are much better at pvp than I am and you have more hearts than me [ect] I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to keep my survival. HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED A PARALLEL. You’re a lion and I’m a rabbit” [derailed, mane says he got what he wanted, thinks she got something out of it too]
KAB: “can I ask you one thing quickly?”
This, I think, is the only thing Kab actually cared to ask this whole conversation. She was not being purposeful in anything else, just responding to what Mane was saying and saying things. But she wasn’t really listening to what was happening, she was too focused on looking tough and explaining herself. Until this moment.
MANE: “mmmhm?”
KAB: “why did you go after my base and try and kill me? Was it the posters? Is that why?”
MANE: “well, the posters were just a good reason”��
KAB: “you just want to do it?”
MANE: “I’m gonna be honest. It’s just fun”
KAB: “oooh. So I did categorize you correctly. Ok cool!”
MANE: “[sad] ooh. okay.“
Leaves call KAB: “yea Mane is just as predictable as I thought he was”
Clown comes back in vc KAB: “[explaining the convo] he just wants to. He just thinks it’s fun. He’s just a crazy villain. I told you!”
But like, I don’t think it’s that. I think we learned that you can get Mane to hunt someone very very easily, just give him a small excuse and he’ll gladly do it. Which is useful if you want a villain or want someone to hunt you. So in that way he is super predictable. But he isn’t “a crazy villain” the posters were just an excuse, an excuse he had been looking for. Because he wants an excuse. That is very different than pure “it was for the fun”.
The fact that she comes to the conclusion that he’s just a crazy villain after that conversation is crazy. I feel like she just was looking for confirmation for a hypothesis she had rather than really looking for research to see who Mane is.
Which is a huge flaw for someone who wants to figure out why people are the way they are so you can manipulate them.
I feel like Mane, if he is smart, learned far far more information about her than she did from him.
The tension for the Kab lore here lies in how this will all blow up in her face. I think she will cling to things and copium her way into believing she won no matter what. But she will have been absolutely destroyed.
And I keep getting hit with her being incompetent because she like, wildly, and I mean WILDLY, makes wrong assumptions about the older Lifestealer’s motivations.
Which is crazy to me because she WAS a viewer! She, in theory, (but probably not in practice because no cc has enough time to watch another smp with as much attention to detail and analysis that we do) should have a really solid understanding of the crew, and she self reports that she does but she’s been wrong so many times.
Like not only does she get Mane completely wrong here, but when Spoke logged on one night and said he was betraying the empire because of jepex she flat out believed him??? And like brought it up again later like it was true.
She thinks Zam has a huge plan of becoming evil. She had this whole moment in the box where she mansplained to chat that we are being fooled by him. We were being gaslit by him into thinking he isn’t planning on being evil at the end. And it was just so painful to watch because she’s just so wrong.
Because Zam has never ever thought of his lore like that. He’s reactionary to the extreme, believing he will take the current lore to the end of the season regardless of how early it is in the season. He becomes evil by the end more often than he doesn’t, but it’s not premeditated. And she should know that.
And she assumed that Red wouldn’t kill her. Like, no, I didn’t see it coming either, but it was a very Reddoons move. To take it personal when someone causes him anxiety. There were other small assumptions she made on older life stealer motivations that I can’t remember now.
But to clear it out, what motivates Kab Kaboodle?? She hates not being believed. That’s what I took from all this. This is her trigger, the thing that will motivate her forward.
Because she does lie and manipulate. And that relies upon being believed. So when someone believes something that isn’t true about her (like Red’s assumptions that she was leaking info to Clown) it hurts a hell of a lot more.
But because she lies, nobody will ever believe her when she desperately tries to get them to believe the truth.
So yea. What do you guys think about Kab and her lore?
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