I just recently figured out that i am in a system, while i am still figuring things out and creating a healthier pattern of life to accomodate us all, i cant help but think ive but suppressed the thought of even being one, afraid of faking, thinking im posing for attention to have this disorder that affects all of us daily, the quarelling over items, the need to hold back some of our impulsive wants and needs and the denial that "i wasn't abused" until a fellow sys pointed out to us that the fact that i have to hide my entire internet life from my own parents, the fact that they will probably disown us if we came out, the fact that the only reason why we still have a even slight positive connotation with them is because some of us are taking in all the intense emotions and memories of abuse we had when its bad, really bad. So that the littles and the middles could still have a good relationship with my parents. The dissasociation, the emotional rollercoaster, the body dysphoria, the feeling of not recognising your own reflection, the need to mask our identity of being a system ontop of masking our neurodivergence. The hours of laying in bed wasting time because were paralyzed by the amount of bickering and the repressed sadness and pain and anger and fear and paranoia and mania and unhealthy obsessiveness, the feeling of losing yourself everytime you blink, the fear of a protector and or prosecutor lashing out in public and possibly getting us into trouble. Thoughts, emotions, the self-doubt the noise the frustration, the hours of broken sleep patterns down to our unhealthy cravings of food when things get bad. The fear of rejection and the need to hide, the expectations, the fear of not deserving love because you think this is all just your measly attempt at copying peoples quirks because you're lonely, the unreasonable fears the memory loss the cacophony of the argument of what to do as you stand there frozen like a deer in the headlights unable to form a coherent sentence to respond as all of you fight to who gets to voice theirs to react to the situation, the fear of being rejected the constant mind-haze, the fear of being invalidated because you fit right into the stereotypes of having "evil" alters, the fact that we have a high fictive count and that we are young and dont have a formal medical diagnosis because it is inaccesible to us at the current time.
And to think, to some people this disorder is just a game, a side thing, a little hobby to get into and get out of when you eventually get bored and toss away your toys like unwanted dolls. The fact that these people might contribute to why weve been repressed for so long due to their standards.
I wonder how you come up with wild shit like that, i wonder how people could face themselves in the mirror every morning without being restless every night thinking about their own validity, but they do, and i think that upset me
Sorry for the long vent/rant OPs
-ððŠ
Hey don't be sorry, we're here for long vents/rants
We aren't entirely sure what to say. We are so sorry you had to find out and deal with the negative parts of being a system, it isn't all fun and games like some people seem to think.
*not looking for a partner or permanent submissive at the moment- just here to express myself, enjoy some play, and make some friends along the way that enjoy the dark things I do.
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"Formula" baby food for ARFID age regressors ðŒð¥€
I'll make a better post with progress pics next time I make some, but I wanted to post about it quickly, since it was such a success.
My small (@bunnnybcy ) has ARFID, which makes it very difficult for him to get much nutrition, and I'm always trying things to make health accessible to him. One way to make "scary" foods accessible is to make them cute or baby-like. This recipe is sort of a "base model," a warm and sweet treat that can be altered later to increase their fruit & whole grain consumption.
Equipment you'll need:
Saucepan
Stirrer
Measuring cups
Stove or hotpad
Blender
Sippy cup or reusable pouches (Link to reusable pouch example)
Refrigerator for storage
Sweet Cinnamon Formula Recipe ð
Ingredients:
1 cup + 1 cup milk or plant milk of choice (we used vanilla soy milk) ð¥
1/2 cup plain rolled oats ð¥£
1 tsp dark brown sugar, or to taste*
1 tsp honey, or to taste ð¯
Cinnamon, to taste
Vanilla extract, to taste
Steps:
ð¥ Heat the first cup of milk in your saucepan on the stove. Turn the heat up to medium, or medium-high if you're impatient.
ð¯ Stir in the brown sugar and honey, and continue to stir frequently until the milk starts to lightly boil.
𥣠Stir in the 1/2 cup of rolled oats, and turn down the heat to medium, if it isn't already there.
ð¥ Stir frequently until the liquid is mostly absorbed, about 5-8 minutes. (The longer you cook it, the smoother your end product will be, which is important for ARFID smalls.)
ðïž Take off the heat, and let cool for a bit, until you're confident that it won't melt your blender lol.
Pour the oatmeal into your blender, add 1/4 cup milkð¥, and blend until smooth. Check the consistency, and continue adding milk in 1/4 cup amounts until your small approves of the texture. This would also be a convenient time to add more cinnamon, vanilla, honeyð¯, or sugar, if they feel the taste is lacking.
Pour into pouches or sippy cups.
You can store leftover formula in the fridge for 3-5 days.
Other formula flavor ideas:
Strawberry ð
Bananað
Blueberry ð«
Peach ð
Chocolate ð«
Peanut butter ð¥
Apple pie ð
Pumpkin pie ð¥§
Sweet potato ð
Notes for other carers of little ones with ARFID:
If your small one will tolerate it, adding nuts or seeds during step 1 will yield a more nutritious result, but some may not blend down. Chia seeds, for example, will remain visible and will feel like poppyseeds, which may be off-putting to someone with ARFID, even though they don't taste like anything.
Always remember to introduce new tastes and textures slowly, and allow them to try a new thing multiple times on different days if they're unsure about it. Unsure may just mean unfamiliar, and it'll take them a number of attempts to acquire a taste for it. Uncertainty is a good sign of a future "yes", but don't push them to finish a serving of something they're on the fence about; the pressure may turn it into a "no". Instead, give them the option of putting the rest away for later, and after some time, when they're ready, encourage them to try it again.
Can you convert the fluffy clouds stencil (wall decor from ts4) to ts2? I'd be very grateful
hi! you know what, sure, why not.
sorry it took a while, but i got the cloud stencils from base game, as well as the bunnies, dinos, and the moon decals. you can choose if you want them standalone (the clouds are the mesh, all the other recolors are clearly named) or as recolors of the freetime butterfly mesh (again, they're all named using their ts4 names and the color). they all come in the same 8 colors:
additionally, though unrelated to this request, a quick conversion of some other base game items, on one mesh:
lmk if i missed something or if anything is wrong, i havent touched ts2 or simpe in a while lol
sam & darlin rarely ever post or share something on their socmed accts but when they post something that's just them living in their cabin in the woods someone would comment something like "omg that's so cottagecore of you ð¥ºð¥ºð¥ºðïžððµððªŽðª»ð±ð±ð»ðððžð¹ðµïžðºðª·ðµïžðªµð²ðªšðïžâ°ïžâïžðððððŠðžð¢ððâðŠºð ð¥ð¥ð«ð¥ð§ ðð«ðððð"
Even if you can't understand what literally any of them mean, just pick whatever looks best. For funsies. Feel free to look at my lists if you really need to though lol (not all of these r romantic)
If this goes alright maybe I'll do smth for my familial f/os too
It was around London, so I didn't get all of them, but the trip has been such a blast I just have to share the pics!
1. St James park: so many birds! And tourists. Which is good because the secret government agents wouldn't be able to feed so many ducks. I saw pelicans tooâthey were huge and pink and funny!!
2. Berkley Square (they actually didn't film anything here, but still): it's a giant construction site now. The only birds I spotted were parrots, so many of them, at least 5 nests, and loud too. No sane nightingale would ever come there, this much is true. But the song is referenced on one of the bench plaques <3
3. The Ritz / The Criterion: they both look nothing like the restaurant in the show (maybe the Criterion changed since 2019?) But both are fancy! When my rich uncle leaves me a giant inheritance and I find my 6000 year soulmate, I am so taking them out there, just you wait.
4. The Globe: this is my favourite theatre now!!!Macbeth was magnificent! And the standing tickets were so worth it: actors were down in the crowd and interacted with everyone! I got some of Macduff's blood on me! (Can't get this anywhere else :D) The Globe is closed in winter, so I'm already planning to buy tickets for next year.
5. The Bandstand and the-place-where-Gabriel-was-running: after marinating on Tumblr for so long I felt shocked seeing the word "bandstand" on a physical sign in the park. Like, put up a warning at least, my heart needs to be prepared?? The actual bandstand was at the same time smaller and bigger than I expected. Also those red bitsâapparently they were there the whole time; I was imagining it black and white for some reason.
Also I met another crazy fan taking pictures of the bandstand in the rain, and I remember thinking, they have to be just as crazy as me xD
6. Tavistock square (where they switched bodies): the filming crew must have moved the benches around, because the square itself is so tiny and you can only match the scene background if you stand all the way back in the bushes. Surely there must have been a better way.
7. Crystal palace: just as I suspected, you can't see the dinosaurs from the bench because of all the trees in the way. The dinos are hilarious though, they look more likeð¿and not like ðŠ. In the show Warlock seems to have written a rude word on the teleosaurus info card, how dare he!
8. Tadfield (Hambleden, really): I thought, it's just two hours from London, easy day trip, in and out, what could go wrong. Cue to me stumbling over muddy fields in the dark surrounded by menacing sheep and regretting everything. The village is cute and English and has literally three streets and a post office and nothing else. And sheep.
9. Bonus round, my take on Aziraphale's bookshop xD "Seducing women? I think you've got the wrong shop!"
10. Bonus bonus round, food! (am I or am I not the ace of snacks after all?) An oyster recipe from Marcus Gavius Apicius' cookbook (Rome, 1c CE, stumbled upon it in the museum of Reading), and Eccles cakes (soooo sweet they don't calm people down but give them instant diabetes)
And that's it!! Thank you for reading all the way <3 Here is a secret snack ð
We are not entirely sure if we're OSDD or DID but we know for a fact it is trauma that caused this (there's no other explanation)
We have a few main posters, you guys can call us Lucie, Reg, Rick and Spence
We are not tagging our main blog. That's how we get harassed by endos/endo supporters
We don't like using the term "singlet", it makes us feel uncomfy and think of slices of cheese.
What's the main point of this blog?
To be an anti-endo safe place. We've seen a lot of blogs we thought would be safe for us but they weren't. So, we made our own.
What can you do here?
Systems can: Vent, rant, tell jokes, system confessions, talk about positive things about being a system, basically anything and everything as long as it's not A, purely kink or sexual or B, a proendo thing
People who aren't systems: reblog, ask questions, can vent about stupid things with endos, just please don't claim to be a system or know exactly what they're going through
DNI
Endos
Proendos
Endo Neutral
ED blogs
age play blogs
If you believe in "narc abuse"/any mental health abuse. That shit is toxic as hell
Brings something like religion or war to here. We have our stances, we don't like getting involved with politics like that. Syscourse, okay can do. Other discourse? Cannot