#-deep breath-

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[im-jaebongi]

man.... sylus' hands are fucking huge...

[bixels]

Here's an updated cast line-up of The Grand Galloping 20s MLP AU project; one year's worth of character designing and progress.

As always, more characters to come. Trixie, Starlight Glimmer, Princess Cadance, Coco Pommel, Suri Polomare, and Rara's redesigns were created by @tulliok, Rainbow Dash's redesign (and the sneak peak below) were created by @maplewozapi.

[vannahrt]

“Today was a good day.”

[themefromtwinpeaks]

i feel like we do not talk about this line enough…i love unnecessary feelings as much as the next guy but my god this is a convoluted love confession of Shakespearean proportions…it should be taught in schools…

[fisheem4mmal]

Happy 4th Anniversary Twisted Wonderland!

Thank you for 4 years of fun, I've played since it came out and I can't wait for what's in store for the future <3

[hellostickycollectionpeanutfan]

has anyone talked about the obvious hesitation angel displayed on episode 8, during his "last night" conversation with husk? i'm not grasping at straws here. it's not a stretch. his smile dropped and he started with a hesitant "hey..." like he wanted to get tender. and then his thoughtful demeanour changed and he asked for more drinks. i could swear the guy almost opened up but decided against it at the last second. his inside voice must've said "don't rush things, bite your tongue."

[illusoryfem]

This is so disturbing. Fuck Neil Gaiman

[lonelyzarquon]

[enkays-den]

Skizz explains the Couch Cam™ and then him and Impulse get so TMI

[hi-intrepid-heros]

I can't get over Brennan getting up to hug every single ratfish contestant as they came through the door. This man has achieved his final form and it is Dad™.

[yrsonpurpose]

He [Henry] knows that this is the most meaningful relationship that he's ever had. And he's probably been the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. And Alex knows that too because he knows him in and out now. - Taylor Zakhar Perez | TV Insider

[daily-grian]

Gamers Outreach charity stream!!!!

Make sure to check out the main charity page and charity auction!

[crplpunkklavier]

from 2 years ago, still hits. happy new year kids