#-guy who's about to say some wild bullshit-.........so hear me out

[bumblingbabooshka]

[Coping with Loneliness and Cracks in Control]

Ah, it’s happening again. This irritating habit of leaving the body alone But there’s no one here either. It’s youyouyou no matter how much you call. (so cavernous it echoes) so stop doing it Your mind has been cracked open over and over again with every repair the damage worsens how long? “Tuvok, how do you do it?” desperately. The Vulcan mind is a fascinating thing. Mysterious. Resilient. Much like the Vulcan people - it can survive much worse than this. “Give me all you’ve got!” because I’m empty empty empty desperately. Meditate. Sort it out. Hm? Isn’t this too much for less than half a person? I can’t live like this. What other choice do you have? [A Mind Meld - Desperately]

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

Reign down on me - Part 8

Pairing: Ghost x Hybrid!reader (eventual poly!141)

No use of y/n or mention of gender/race

Summary: Reader is a wolf hybrid in a world that treats them like second class citizens, given a horrible start in life after being thrown into the military with no preparation. After years of struggle, they're finally taken away from their base by Ghost, now a permanent member of taskforce 141 reader struggles to come to terms with the fact that perhaps there's a life there for them - if only they reach out and accept it.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, Angst, abuse mentions, self doubt, violent scenes

A/N: So this is kind of a Part 1 of a whole chapter because i wanted to give you guys something. So the next chapter will have a bit more going on, hope you enjoy this for now! Excited for any comments or theories you guys have about what's going to happen 💕

-🐺-

The major opened the door slowly and then gently closed it shut behind him, sparing a quick glance at you before he walked over to Price’s desk with only a few long strides. He was a tall man with gleaming shoes and a pristine uniform to match, his red hair combed back neatly on top of his head. You took in everything, your breathing almost slowed to a stop while you waited for the news. Only when he sat down at the uncomfortable wooden chair in front of Price did he speak. 

“Before I start, I want to say that I know you’re a busy man and that your team are integral to many ongoing operations that are running. However,” the major paused, his accent thickly weaving his words. “After the incident outside your hallway with Second Lieutenant Smith, I’m afraid to say that I must ask you to carve out some time for me.”

Price laughed at that. Not a warm chuckle or a dark little rumble, like you were used to hearing over comms or during training. This was one of disbelief, the little glinting breaths coming through like warning shots. 

“I’d hardly call that an incident, Major. A silly boy decided to test my hybrid and got exactly what he deserved. There ain’t much more to it,” Price grunted.

He straightened his back and leaned over his table, appearing every bit as menacing as you imagined he could be. The way his eyes appeared to darken below his tilted heavy brow were enough to send even you gulping - and you were the one he was defending. The Major didn’t seem to react however, he wasn’t cowed by the show, he merely sniffed and set his own arms on the desk. 

“Ordinarily I’d agree with ye, Price, you know I would. That wasn’t just any boy though, his da’s some parliamentary arsehole and he wants atonement.”

That gave Price pause.

You sucked in a breath and dug your fingers into the couch cushions, feeling the fabric strain and almost give way under your claws. The shaking started seconds later. You were going to be punished after all. 

Who would do the whipping, you wondered, I don’t want it to be any of the boys, definitely not Ghost. A small whine escaped your throat at  the thought of that before you could cram it down. Ghost was supposed to be safe. The idea that he’d be the one looming over you and raining down pain on your back left your throat feeling crushingly tight. 

“You’re not laying a finger on my wolf, do you hear me?” Price said, his voice so low he might as well have growled at the Major. 

His. The way he said it was so possessive compared to the way you normally heard that, the way that Ghost usually said it. Ghost’s good Pup. His sweet thing. Price said that you were his with all the ferocity of a wild animal. Like something was threatening to drag you off into the unknown. 

“Look I’m not gonna bullshit you here. I tried insisting on something like committed service hours, guard duty or sniffing - that sort of thing. He wasn’t going for it. The problem isn’t so much with what the hybrid did - it’s your Lieutenant he wants to prove a point to most of all. He wants Ghost to know he can’t get away with insulting his family.” 

“So what? He wants Ghost punished?” Price snorted, tilting his chin up in challenge. “You gonna string him up to the post and all are ya?”

The major sighed deeply and rubbed his brow. 

“No ones getting strung up, don’t jump to conclusions. He said that he wants the hybrid locked down for a week, they’re to be placed with the Smith boy’s squad and kenneled, only to be removed should a mission arise where the hybrid’s presence is essential…now, before you go thinking that you can conjure up some kind of week long escapade, he explicitly stated the sentence is to pause while away and resume on return.”

I’d rather be whipped bloody, you thought. The exact thing you were afraid of was coming to fruition. You were to be stripped of what you’d come to love and return to your old way of life, worse still was the thought that you didn’t even know what the kennels were like in your new base, didn’t know if they could extend your stay which would often happen at Branhaven. There was every chance you could be stuck with that horrible bastard indefinitely. Ghost had made a point of letting you know that he never intended on punishing you like that, that you wouldn’t while away your hours in a dingy cell block, or be made to face a post ever again. 

The memory of him settling his hand on your shoulder and squeezing ever so gently as he explained his approach to discipline was so strong, you almost felt his spirit lingering there beside you. He’d said he wouldn’t ever put you out in the cold or whip you unless his hand was forced, and even then he insisted he’d fight whoever threatened you. 

Would he fight a major? A politician?

“This is bullshit,” Price scoffed, smacking his hand off his desk and making you jump. “Hobbling my team because his little brat got slapped around is pathetic! What next? Would he like to bend Ghost over while he’s at it? Really, Major, this is a farce.”

“It is, aye. Exactly what happens when you tangle with those sorts, you know that as well as anyone though.”

Price’s face was the dictionary definition of scorn. You shrank back into the sofa, subconsciously trying to become a part of it and escape from all the tension. The major didn’t even wince through it. He faced Price with all the stoicism of a tree on a calm day, but Price continued to rant and plead your case until you thought his red face might start to turn purple. All the while you listened with quick little bursts of scared breath. 

The conversation didn’t go anywhere except against a dead end, ramming over and over into the same conclusion. The major grew tired of Price’s fit and walked out, saying that he’d expect you checked into the kennel’s by the end of the night. He let the threat of what would happen, should he fail to comply, linger somewhere above you - like an anvil - in the air. 

Price growled out a profanity as the door slammed closed. Only when the air had settled and the Major’s presence fully left did he turn to you and soften. His eyes, that had held so much venom, melted from slits and into doleful pools, his taught mouth slackened.

“Pup…” He sighed, looking you over.

He didn’t finish the sentiment. There was a wordless understanding between you both that he didn’t have the vocabulary for the sympathies he wanted to convey. With that quiet look of apology given he sighed out and pressed his head into his palms. 

“Fuckin’ shower of cunts the lot of em.”

Price hadn’t immediately given up of course. He picked up his phone and got to talking to numerous sources, but apparently none of them were of any use. You flinched back from where you were perched every time he hung up his phone with a bang. It almost made you feel sorry for the thing. No matter what arguments were made, no one was willing to hear Price out. That much was clear after he’d clattered down into his old chair like a shot bird. 

You had expected as much.

In the end it was you that convinced Price just to take you to the kennels. Making a point of stressing that it would be far better to go before Ghost could come back. Something within you shook at the idea of being put back into the same horrible place by the same man that had rescued you from there to begin with. At having Ghost have to take the responsibility on his shoulders, once more letting down a hybrid in his care. 

After being checked in and issued a bedroll, it was time to say your good nights. You stared at Price through the doorway of the kennel, biting your frayed lip. No matter what he said, you knew well enough that it was your own stupid stubborn fault that you were back there again - for not just acquiescing to the brat’s commands in the first place. Stunts like that were the exact reason that you had the disciplinary record that you did. Always going against anyone that wanted to shove you down, all in the name of some kind of renegade fantasy that you had any control over your life. Fiercely defending the shreds of your honour as if you hadn’t spent most of your life as a beaten dog. 

Stupid. 

At the very least though, conditions were far better than your old haunt at Branhaven. That was something, you tried to tell yourself. The shiny black sleeping bag they’d given you was plenty thick and there was a groaning old heater that rattled overhead, so that the nipping cold temperatures felt more like being left in a draughty room. Even the construction wasn’t as bad as the other ones, rubber crumb flooring like that of a playground, meant that you wouldn’t get as stiff and a hard fibreglass front over the concrete walls meant that you wouldn’t be exposed to the elements. It was almost possible to think of it like a stay at the worlds worst hotel, rather than a mandated stay in the kennels. 

It wasn’t home, but at least you knew that you’d get to return there as long as you listened and kept your stupid trap shut for once. Home with Ghost. Now that you’d calmed down after the initial shock of being issued the punishment, an internal clock had materialised in your head. The countdown to when you could go home. All you had to do was take your medicine and you could be with Ghost again, everything could go back to how it was. That thought alone was enough to keep the needling panic at the back of your mind firmly restrained there. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more,” Price said, his voice stony and rough. “I don’t wanna leave you here, Pup…I really don’t.”

“Don’t wanna leave me, or don’t wanna have to face Ghost and tell him I’m here?” You said, making an attempt to lift his heavy expression. 

He grunted something that could be interpreted as a bitter chuckle. 

“Neither.”

You smiled a little, but didn’t have it in you to laugh. At seeing your expression, he crossed the threshold between you both and closed his palm over your head. His roughened fingers skimmed over your ears and softly rubbed some of the worry out from deep within your tissue. A proper moment of reprieve settled over your body, loosening tight muscles, before you were forced to part again by the approaching footsteps of the guard.

“Sorry, Sir. I have to lock all the kennels up for the night for lights out,” he explained sheepishly, eyes not fully able to reach Price’s gaze.

Price nodded at him and went to comply, though only after giving you one last ruffle over the ears. He stepped back after and allowed the fibre glass door to snick to a close. Your heart thumped extra loudly while it shut. Price gave you one last mournful look and then told you to get some rest, assuring you that he’d be watching over you even from afar. 

“Good night, Price,” you whispered back, watching his retreating back with sorrow filled eyes.

The guard grunted and double checked the door, ensuring it was locked and rattling the mechanism a few times before he was satisfied. The soft click of metal on metal forced your ears to twitch upward into alert. 

“Get into your bedroll. Light’s out,” the guard said, his voice hardened now that your Captain was gone. “If you cause trouble or give me any crap you’ll be removed for discipline and then returned here. Do you understand?”

“Understood, Sir,” you nodded, unfurling the sleeping bag with a shiver.

The guard allowed you to sort your bedding and once inside the puffy roll of fabric he flicked the light switch and left you bathed in the darkness. He continued down the line from there, the only evidence of his presence, the fading lights down the line and the clicking of switches and doors. 

You whined softly while rubbing your face against the cold fabric below, blanching at the cold rubber flooring. Your heart lurched at the thought of your bed back home. The thought of your cushy blue pillows, Simon’s soft fur, the dialogue unread from the ‘Super-Wolf’ graphic novels by your bed, the smell of rotisserie chicken that was supposed to linger in the air, no where to be found in that sterile place. This was all wrong.

No matter what position you got in, no matter how hard you tried to shut your mind off and return to old coping mechanisms, the idea that you could be safely in your bed weighed on your chest like an elephant. Before you were used to being shoved into a kennel and forgotten about, but now you knew that there was a better life. A life that had been ripped from you.

You wanted to scream, wanted to claw your way out of the sleeping bag and slam yourself against the clear glass like a mad person, wanted to raise hell until you were returned to your rightful place. Though you never followed through. You had to be good now. It was the only thing that would get you home. 

Instead, you let your head loll to the back wall, facing the speckled brick and let loose the tears that you hadn’t wanted Price to have to witness again. Couldn’t have him thinking that you were completely pathetic afterall. The hot paths they left burned against your cold cheeks, though they still couldn’t compete with the heat that filled your aching chest. 

I’ll be with them again. Ghost won’t let me go. 

-🐺-

“Mum…I had a nightmare. The monsters want to take me away.”

Your little tail was pinned fast under your legs, your ears folded so close to your head you could feel the fibres of your hair even through your fur. Blinking back the tears from your eyes, you swallowed and looked up at her imploringly, hoping for a big cuddle just like the ones you’d seen her give to your older sister.

If she knew the meaning in your look, she didn’t show it. She groaned and got up from the couch, mumbling something under her breath before grabbing your wrist and shepherding you back to bed. The long dark corridors of your house seemed all the more haunting at night, the sounds of all the appliances ringing through the walls like wails. You shivered all the way back to your tiny room. Your mum’s iron grip may as well have been a shackle tugging you to prison. 

“Right, get back to sleep. You won’t have another nightmare after you’ve just had one.”

She turned the light on while you sorted yourself, impatiently hovering by the switch until you were lying back in bed and clinging the stuffed dog that your sister hadn’t wanted - had so graciously thrown at you one day - to your chest. His name was faint to you now, a shadow in your anxiety addled mind, what did you call him again? 

“Sleep tight,” she sighed, turning the light out and spiriting out the door. 

You blinked out through the darkness and sighed, curling into a little ball and trying your best to retreat from the leering shadows in the corner of the room. In that darkness your mind created faces, grinning horrible faces that wanted to gobble you up and turn you into mince. Just like the monsters from that horrible movie your dad had watched the night before, completely unaware that you had been hiding under the dining table, trying to avoid your mothers wrath for the milk that you’d spilled before bed.

“Monsters can’t get you here, sweetie,” you whispered to yourself, remembering the calming words you’d overheard in your sister’s room a few nights prior. “Nothing will get you when you’re safely tucked up…snug as a bug in a rug. You have your teddy to protect you, he’ll watch over you all night! Then in the morning everything will be fine again and the sun will be shining.”

The words didn’t seem to hold the same weight when you said them to yourself. They just rang hollow in the static. Perhaps they didn’t work the same since you were different, a half-breed ‘thing’ that no one asked for. Were you worth protecting? Would the sun shine for you in the morning?

-🐺-

“Hey, Pup. Oi. It’s ok, you’re alright. Easy…Easy”

You gulped in a hungry breath of air and opened your eyes, chest absolutely heaving as you fought off the last of the evil spirits that cackled and snapped at your extremities. In all your confusion between sleeping and waking, you couldn’t be sure if the arms that were wrapped around you were real, and if they were, you couldn’t be sure that they were friendly. 

When you whipped round and saw Gaz staring down at you with wide concerned eyes, you still questioned to yourself if you were in another layer of a dream. This couldn’t be right, you thought drowsily. 

“Gaz?” you mumbled, tilting your head when he smiled at you. “What are you doing here?”

“Saving you from the bogeyman apparently,” he smirked, ruffling your ears until you swatted his hands away. “That looked like a fuckin’ mental dream, mate.”

“No, Really - what are you doing here?”

You looked around, noting the wide open kennel door and the hazy blue sky beyond, a soft gradient of navy and electric blue sheeted over the fences and trees beyond. It couldn’t be any later than three, maybe four at a stretch. Your sleeping bag was tangled round your ankles and the heater had turned off, but other than that nothing had changed in the kennel. 

All was quiet on base, no cars whizzed by, barely any noise sounded through the crisp morning air. Sleep soon scratched at your eyes, forcing you to rub them and then embarrassingly let loose a high pitched whining yawn that had your face heating like a furnace in embarrassment.

“Aw, you are just a cute Pup, aren’t you?”

“Gaz!” you growled, trying to fix him with a stare serious enough that he would answer. 

It was no use though. He wasn’t Soap, so a little mean look did nothing to wipe the stupid smile of his smug face. Though he did relent when you growled, and when he noticed your darting looks round the opened gate, probably seeing that you were searching for the guard. At that point you’d suspected Gaz had to have stuffed him in a locker or something. 

“Relax, you can stop clutching your pearls. Price has a mission for us.”

“What?” you frowned, thoroughly doubtful, “Really? Right after I got kenneled, huh?”

“Genuinely,” He snorted, shaking his head. “I didn’t believe him at first either, but he wasn’t in the mood to piss about and explain himself. Cap said to come get you and load up ASAP, he’ll explain when we’re in the air.”

“We’re flying out?”

“Uh huh. Sooner the better too, can’t believe they made you spend a night in this place. What a fuckin’ joke.”

“Doesn’t feel like a joke to my back,” you ground out, wincing mid stretch when you felt a bone crack and heard the resulting sound. 

“Jesus. You keep making noises like that and they might retire you,” Gaz snorted.

“Ha ha,” you said dryly.

He gave you room to move away from him, allowing you to stand up before looking you over. It was almost comical seeing the way he searched you for any signs of harm, his calculating eyes narrowed as if he were looking for weapons. He paused a moment, only unfreezing when you raised your brows at him and quirked your lips. 

“You solid?” he asked.

“I think so. You?”

“It’s three in the morning and I’m freezing my arse out here instead of being passed out in bed - course I’m not,” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes and bumped into his side, happily strolling out of the kennel and out into freedom. One night down you, you thought, only six more to go until I get to go back to my bed. At the very least you were happy you wouldn’t have to go to that prick, Smith’s, unit for the day. More than having to be separated from Ghost, you feared what he would do to you while in his care. You strongly suspected he’d have more than a slap lined up for you at that point. 

Gaz lead you to the changing rooms before taking you to the chinook, handing you your gear and waiting on the squeaky wooden benches outside the shower block while you got ready. Then after taking the world’s quickest and coldest shower, trying miserably not to get your hair or fur wet, you stepped out to greet him with gritted teeth and soggy ears. If one thing was abundantly clear then, it was the fact that Ghost had utterly spoiled you. There was no way you could face a cold shower again without thinking about the bathroom at his.

“When I get to go back to Ghost I’m gonna live in that shower,” you huffed, teeth chattering while wrapping yourself up in the big cosy fleece that Ghost had given you a few days before. “I’m gonna stay in there until I turn into a prune and then I’ll make sure that Ghost cans me and traps all the warm condensation in.”

Gaz laughed while watching you lace `up your boots last. Your fingers were shaking still from the bone chilling cold that had seeped through your entire body. It was a wonder that you thankfully managed to finish changing without any help. As much as you had considered pathetically asking him to tie them for you, you werent sure if you could go on soldiering knowing that Gaz had to help you like you were some kind of baby. 

“Pup in a can sounds like a pretty good product. New kind of IED discovered, we can just start lobbing you at the enemy instead of wasting grenades.”

“Lobbing me?” You said in faux shock, flattening your drippy ears. “I can’t believe you would even suggest that.”

“What? It’s a pretty solid strategy, would work wonders if we were facing an army of Mactavishes.”

“Gaz!” You squawked, flinging your dirty shirt at him. “Mean!”

He batted it away easily and laughed with you. 

“Oh c’mon. Soap would laugh if he was here.”

“Pfft, Soap here? coming to the kennels? Fat chance.”

“Aw, I’m sure he’d do it for you. His little furball,” Gaz teased, ruffling your ears. “Our fuzzy wuzzy puppy.”

You huffed and shooed his hands away, growling when he went to mess with you again. Gaz didn’t flinch at that, but he did roll his eyes and move back to lean against the wall. He was graciously allowing you to put away the rest of your gear in peace so that you could move out. He grew quiet while you shoved your things into the soft green rucksack, and just as you’d clicked the clasp on your bag closed, he regarded you with a more considering look. 

“What?”

“What?” Gaz returned, folding his arms. 

You frowned. 

“You’re looking at me funny.”

“Maybe it’s cause you’re funny,” he shrugged. 

“Shame that you’re not,” you replied dryly. 

“Well shit. Mess with the wolf and you get the fangs, huh?”

“You know it, Garrick.”

-🐺-

The chinook was more comfortable than the kennel. That you figured out after your belly was filled with a fat bacon roll and you had Gaz’s shoulder to lean on. Your eyelids dripped like syrup, lashes fluttering as you listened to Price drone on about the mission over the shaky comms. 

“Pup, are you listening? Knew I shouldn’t have bloody given you breakfast first,” Price admonished. 

You slowly blinked back at him.

“I am,” you huffed out, straightening your back against the chair. “We got evidence of WMD’s in Lata, so we’re gonna go there and secure em with a team from Los Vaqueros forces.”

“Top marks,” Gaz chuckled, ruffling your ears. 

You rolled your eyes. 

“These ears ain’t for nothin’,” you said with a sly grin. 

“Those ears better stay alert,” Price grumbled. “I need you alive and well so Ghost doesn’t disembowel me on return.”

Your ears perked up at that, your body quickly straightening up all the way. In all your tiredness and confusion at being taken away, you’d hardly thought about how Ghost would’ve felt about you being seperated from him for the first time. 

“You spoke to him last night then?”

“Tried to,” Price snorted. “After I told him where you were he just about bowled me over trying to get to you. Managed to convince him to let you be, but he was a pain in my arse all night. He wants to speak to you later, so if you would please be careful today me and my neck would thank you.”

“Is he coming here?” You asked hopefully, tail raising in your excitement.

“Probably not. If all goes well we should be outta here in a few days to a week. He said to call once we finish up tonight though.”

Oh. As much as you tried to stop yourself from visibly deflating, there was little you could do to prevent yourself falling back against the chair with a huff. It had already been to long without him and it had only been a day. The thought of the growing distance only gnawed at you as you thought about it more. 

“Relax, Pup. You’ll be back home to Ghost before you know it,” Price hummed. “Just gotta get through this in one piece first.”

“Yeah…but that’ll only be after I finish up my time at the kennels,” you grumbled, fully sagging into Gaz in defeat. 

“We’ll see.”

You tilted your head at the Captain wondering what the hell he meant by that, and even though he saw your curious look he didn’t answer it. All he did was wink. Even when you begged him to elaborate he shook his head and tilted down his boonie hat, making it perfectly clear that the time for talking was done.

“You could use more sleep yourself,” Gaz said afterward, watching you in your confusion. “Don’t worry too much about the future right now, you barely got any sleep last night by the sounds of that dream you were having, so you’re not gonna be able to think straight. Rest your head on me and I’ll try and keep the nightmares at bay, ok? Gotta wake up fresh for the mission.”

You pursed your lips, heart beating like a frail bird in your chest. So many questions danced around you, but every thought was dimmed by the tiring heaviness that had refused to shake itself from your body from the moment you’d woken up.

Gaz was right, you did need more sleep. And curling up on him sounded like a dream. However when you looked up into his soft hazel eyes, a sudden wave of heat pulsed through you and gave you pause. He practically glowed in the emerging morning light. 

“You sure you want me cuddling up to you?” you asked, laughing breathily to cover up your nervousness.

“Only as long as you don’t tell Ghost,” he winked. “Wouldn’t want him to get jealous.”

You shoved him playfully at that, but soon settled down once Price barked out for you both to be quiet. Bodies going ridgid before slackening into each other. Your head drooped gently down onto Gaz’s shoulder and he let his cheek rest on top of your head. The warm rays of the morning blanketed you both in its gentle hold and in minutes you were sinking into a now peaceful sleep.

[sbk-zgvlt]

Twisted wonderland au the only change being that, instead of meeting Ace on the first day Yuu meets Sebek.

HE GOT LOST 💀💀💀

He was trying to find Malleus through Lilia's directions ("He's probably admiring some marble and stone during these hours." "???? I DONT UNDERSTAND.") and mistook Lilia's cryptic comment referring to gargoyles to be about the statues of the Great Seven.

Of course, he was surprised when he happened upon a human with their monster-cat??? familiar???? When he was expecting his young master

He immediately provokes them on sight, shouting why they're here. Yuu says that they were just passing through!!! Before Grim asks him about the statues. Sebek's jaw drops because??? These guys dont know who the Great Seven are??? PREPOSTEROUS (Proceeds to info dump to them)

Things actually go smooth from there!!! Sebek is pleasantly surprised that Grim is genuinely interested in the Great Seven and Yuu butts in with their own insightful questions. It all crashes to the ground when Sebek makes an offhand comment of how he can't believe that the school allowed a human walk around, especially with a CLEARLY not trained pet.

Cue Grim scorching the statue of the Thorn Fairy instead!!! Sebek is AGHAST. He is wailing on the ground begging for forgiveness, even before Crowley happens upon them. Crowley sighs and orders them to wash the windows, things go the same once more!

You might think: Oh, Sebek would NEVER ditch Yuu and Grim like Ace did, ESPECIALLY since its a punishment given from the headmaster himself. Consider the fact that Sebek has not seen nor heard from Malleus ever since he entered school premises, was trying to find him and is STOPPED from doing so because a human and their cat who probably has rabies scorched the THORN FAIRY'S statue.

He's going to try and find Malleus, ditching Yuu and Grim.

Now this is getting too long. So.

They actually catch Sebek without any help since Grim was unable to ditch Yuu 🫶

This Yuu is a bit more...wild (They fling Grim at the chandelier so that the chandelier could LAND ON SEBEK)

Crowley threatens expulsion and Sebek WAILS

The crying was so pathetic that Crowley told them to bring a magestone within the day, not before the sun sets/lh

They get to the mines, and Yuu and Sebek are BICKERING the whole time. "I CANT BELIEVE A PATHETIC HUMAN LIKE YOU HAS DRAGGED ME INTO YOUR MESS!!!" "WHO DITCHED THE PUNISHMENT THAT THE HEADMASTER HIMSELF GAVE US, HUH??? I CAN STILL SEE THOSE TEAR TRACKS" "SHUT UP!!!!"

Grim tried to butt into the conversation but Sebek and Yuu literally couldnt hear him over their shouting 💀

They encounter the ghosts 🔥🔥🔥 Sebek SCREAMS. Yuu makes fun of him as they run away and theres a slight hint of Sebek being scared of ghosts because of someone who "liked to dress up for halloween" (Lilia)

MAGESTONE SPOTTED 🔥🔥🔥

BLOT MONSTER ALSO SPOTTED 💀💀💀

They run away again, but not without Sebek saying bullshit about telling Yuu to run away WHILE IN THE WAY OF THE BLOT MONSTER. "STOP YOURE GOING TO DIE" "GET OUT OF HERE HUMAN, BEFORE BOTH OF US DO!" "ID LIKE FOR BOTH OF US TO STAY ALIVE ACTUALLY"

Yuu is able to convince Sebek to retreat and confronts him about his self-sacrifice bullshit. Sebek says that he's more durable than a human anyway. Yuu's concern is replaced with frustration, not knowing that Sebek is...technically right (THEY DONT KNOW HE'S HALF-FAE LMFAOOOO)

THEYRE STILL ABLE TO GET THE MAGESTONE!!! They distract the blot monster by making GRIM bait ("WHY CANT THE HENCHMAN DO IT" "YOURE SMALL AND YOU CAN BREATH OUT FIRE, YOU WANT TO SEND A HUMAN OUT THERE!?!!?!?" "Should i be offended") and Sebek uses his magic to defeat it. Yuu grabs the magestone and theyre OUTTA THERE

Grim eats the blot stone, except Sebek Heimlich maneuvers the fucking stone out of him. YEAH. THATS RIGHT. WE'RE GOING CANON DIVERGENT BABY (The stone reminded him of Lilia's cooking he not letting a bro go through that by a fucking STONE)

They get back to Crowley's office only to find him sleeping. Better be glad Sebek didnt find him with the expulsion papers he wouldve bawled

Yadda yadda, Yuu and Grim become one student, yadda yadda, Sebek and Yuu agree to NEVER speak about this experience ever again. They both expect to never bump into each other ever again

...Sebek finds out its past curfew and he's been locked out of Diasomnia (He would sleep in the courtyard but its so fucking cold no way in hell) (He knocks on Ramshackle's door looking like a kicked puppy) (Yuu lets him in out of pity)

Then ACE busts down the door, expecting NO ONE inside Ramshackle

Book 1 baby

yeah this shit long lawl uhhh id say ill continue but ill most likely forget send me an ask for each book about this if yo have low faith in me remembering 🙏🙏🙏

[lovebittenbyevans]

The Wrong Sister | Part 2

Summary: You and your sister Jasmine don’t always see eye to eye. When she starts to bring her husband Andy Barber around more, you kept a distance from him until things began to change between you two.

Pairing: Andy Barber x Female Reader

Warnings: one curse word

Part 2

The last few days you had good sleep and you need it because of work. Your mind was racing a lot and you had so many thoughts running through your head.

You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe that Andy wanted to get to know you. Not one guy from Jasmine's past relationships ever did that before at all. Her ex-boyfriends wouldn’t think about doing that.

All of her exes were about her only and nobody else even when they can’t make it past a second date with her. You wonder how the fuck Jasmine had all these guys fall to her feet and not see through her bullshit over the years.

“That’s very bold of him.” Chloe said through the phone. “I mean I would meet up with him if I was you. Fuck, Jasmine.”

You laughed. “Of course you would. You would not feel any shame.”

Chloe let out a loud scoff. “Hello!? Have you seen that man I mean–look I’m sure it’s going to go great.”

You shake your head when you hear a voice near you. “Y/N.” You glance up seeing Andy standing there. “Hi.”

He pulled the chair across from you and sat down. You told Chloe goodbye and hung up your phone putting it back in your purse. “I didn’t think you would actually make it.” He says, picking up the menu.

“I was still deciding if I should or not.” You take a sip of your water while looking at the menu.

Little Wild Shack is one of the restaurants you heard so much about but never been before. The waiter came by taking your order and Andy order of food and drinks before leaving to order tables.

Another waiter brings back a basket full of chips before walking away. “Does my sister know–” He interrupted you after taking a bite of the chip. “Jasmine doesn’t need to know my every move, Y/N.”

Your eyebrow raised while listening to him. “She can’t control me. I am my own person.” You were shocked right about now.

Who was he?

“So, she doesn't stalk your every move?” You asked him.

He chuckles. “No, I shut that shit down with her way before we got married.”

You nodded, unsure what to say. This waiter came back with both of the drinks you two ordered. You bring the straw to your lips and take a sip. A lemonade drink hits every time you taste it.

You clear your throat. “I’m sure you tell her where you are going to some places. You wouldn’t want her thinking you are cheating or something.”

“You came here to lecture me?” He smirks.

Your eyes widen. “No I–” He laughs a little. “I’m joking, Y/N.” You nod, taking another sip of your drink.

Few minutes later, the waiter came back with the food you two ordered for lunch. You had to admit the burger and fries looked delicious. You can never get tired of a good burger restaurant.

Andy swallowed hard after taking a bite out of his fish sandwich. “What’s the relationship between you and my wife? Jasmine told me bits and pieces but I want to hear your side.”

You sigh, taking another bite of your burger. “As you know she’s older than me.” You swallow before speaking again. “My mom always took her side whenever I didn’t do anything wrong and blamed me for it. My dad has a shaky relationship with his daughter as well.”

His eyes were still on you. “All the boyfriends she had before you she always made up rules because she was terrified I would steal them from her but Jasmine should know I am not that type of girl.”

After years gone by you stopped listening to Jasmine trying to boss you around and trying to control you in front of people to make them think you were weak. You notice over the years Jasmine just had to be perfect.

“No boyfriend for you?” He asked, finish eating his food.

You shake your head. “No, I dated around but none of them ever stuck with me.”

His eyebrow arched. “Why?” Andy was being curious.

You push your plate forward before taking a swig of the last drop of your drink. “It just didn’t work out and I just saw them as just flings.” You feel like you didn’t need to lie. You were being honest.

“Oh? You were outside! Outside?” He joked, making you laugh.

You leaned back in your chair. “I guess you can call it that.”

Andy waved the waiter to the table as he asked you another question. “So, you had time to make coffee and deal with your flings?”

You shake your head. “No, before I decided to work at the coffee shop. I was a wedding planner but Jasmine got me fired.”

“What?” He was stunned to hear this. Andy asks the waitress for the check as he listens to you. “Yeah, I still do it on the side as a part time but not as much.”

You love planning weddings for people who are in love. You'd rather do that than work at a coffee shop for the rest of your life. You still can’t believe Jasmine told your old boss these lies about you.

Hearing a phone buzzing on the table, you check out the dessert menu while Andy picks up his phone answering it. The waiter came back to the table five minutes later and placed the check on the table in front of you.

“Ok, Ok. I got to go.” He hangs up the phone as you check the bill.

You began to take your card out of your wallet when Andy stopped you. “Don’t you dare.” He immediately placed his card inside the checkbook and closed it.

“But It’s–” He cut you off. “No, I got it.” You leaned back again in your chair as you noticed Andy had a smirk on his face.

“Y/N, how about–” You interrupted him before he could even ask you. “No, No, No.”

He sucked his teeth playfully. “Come on.” He leaned forward. “I can pay you. When was the last time you were on a fake vacation while working?”

You rub your chin thinking about it. “And what exactly do you do?”

The waiter grabs the checkbook as his blue eyes are locked on yours. “Parents money and my own lawyer company.” He continues. “Think of it as you on vacation but hardly working.”

You rolled your eyes. “Jasmine wouldn’t approve of me doing you guys one month anniversary you two every year.”

He crossed his arms as his lips curled into a half-smile. “Who said anything about telling her? It would be between you and me, babygirl.”

Was he serious?

“And where are you two planning to celebrate?” You question him, trying to process this.

The waiter came back a minute later with the checkbook again. Andy took his card as you got up from your chair taking your jacket. “Let's just say between Italy and Greece.” He finally responded.

You slug your jacket over your shoulder and grab your purse from behind the chair. “I don’t have the money for that type of trip.” You pushed the chair underneath the table and walked out the door with Andy right behind you.

You continue to walk down the street with Andy alongside you. “Let me pay for you.” He says, placing his hands inside his coat pocket.

“Are you–I don’t need a sugar daddy.” Your face scrunched up.

Andy laughs, opening the door to a bubble tea shop he has been wanting to try. You are not the one to say no to getting a drink of bubble tea.

He stood right behind you on the line. “Let your brother in law help you for once.” You glance at the menu seeing what they have.

Before you order your drink, you take a look at him. “Andy, I couldn’t ask you to do that.” You told the lady what type of drink you wanted and stepped to the side.

He shrugs. “It’s no big deal.” You gave the lady your card while waiting for your drink.

Andy ordered his drink and paid the lady as well. “Your sister shouldn’t keep you away from your dream job.” He took a step next to you.

You place your straw in your drink and take a sip letting the flavor hit your tongue. “Wow, this is good!” You take another sip and walk to find an empty table.

Andy took his drink and sat across from you. “Can we just take it one day at a time and let me think about it.” You don’t want to feel overwhelmed just yet.

He nods. “Sure, I’m just saying maybe it’s time to stop being scared of my wife and show her the real you.” You just continue to slurp your drink while you and Andy talk about himself and different things.

[crowscadence]

BSD as things I’ve heard in band

Tachihara: Who wants to do some carpool kareoke?!

Akutagawa: I’d rather you skin and boil me alive

Yosano: They were like “should we medicate her?” and I said no because I didn’t want to lose my sparkle

Ranpo: I don’t have to worry about that because my sparkle is autism

Kunikida: *sigh* I’ve been afflicted by Dazai’s bullshit

Dazai: hey scoot over a bit

Chuuya: no you’re not my master

Dazai: actually I am, be my dog

Fukuzawa, leaving: Kunikida you’re in charge until I get back

Kunikida: Alright

*Chaos ensues as soon as Fukuzawa leaves*

Gin: Wow, [Ryuunosuke], you look miserable

Akutagawa: I am

Gin: So… why don’t you stop what you’re doing?

Akutagawa: I’m telling myself that this is a test of willpower and I’m too stubborn to lose to myself

Atsushi, holding a tissue to his bleeding leg: ow

Yosano: Atsushi what the hell happened

Atsushi: I cut my leg on a storage bin

Yosano: Go get a bandaid then???

Atsushi: nah it’ll be fine *starts walking around and doing work, still holding the tissue to his leg*

Dazai, holding just the head of a dog-shaped cookie jar: Isn’t he cute?

Atsushi: Dazai why do you have a dog head

Dazai: The rest of the body is in my bag :)))

Atsushi: That doesn’t make it any better-

Dazai: Hey, did you hear who just got asked out?

Chuuya: Who?

Dazai: You *finger guns*

Atsushi, running from Akutagawa: Help, I’m being attacked by a wild emo!

*15 Dazai and Chuuya arguing over the plural of penis*

Mori: you two are making me question my life choices

Nikolai: What if edible p*rn was a thing?

Sigma: please never say those words in that order ever again

Dazai, after a mission: You know Atsushi you’re really not beating those furry allegations

Atsushi: yeah I saw that one coming

Kenji: Going to Paris without seeing Versailles is like going to New York for the first time and not seeing the Tilted Towers

Kyouka: …Kenji that's from fortnite

Yosano: well you may be the best walking condom ad I’ve ever seen

(This quote would fit so many)

Ango: nothing like a government website to keep you up at 2AM

(this was from my band director)

Kunikida, talking about Dazai: The fact that he’s not responding to my texts right now is bull because there’s no way that sleep-deprived, caffeine-addicted twink isn’t awake

Dazai: this is the face of a professional

Atsushi: that’s the face of a fucking idiot

Kunikida, talking about his headcanonned college experience: do you know what kind of foul things come out of frat guys’ mouths?

Dazai: no but I know what foul things probably go in them

Akutagawa: I must be a poison type because I can’t stop fucking koffing

Dazai, mocking fyodor: what’s the point of saying meow if it’s not in a Russian accent?

Dazai: I dunno about you but Tom Riddle could grease my cork

Dazai: never thought I’d see the day when I’d be handcuffed in the band room but okay

*Dazai bitching and moaning about sore muscles*

Atsushi: be glad for the pain, it means you’re alive

Dazai: bitch you know I’m suicidal

[nightgoodomens]

Answering a few asks below.

Please don’t read if theorising regarding relationships isn’t your thing.

I am still not sure what to think about this whole thing so I’m letting myself theorise big time. You’ve been warned.

Makes sense that this marriage has always been open if this is how it got to be in the first place. I know people want to believe in Disney like marriages but unfortunately usually it’s a little different. But hey her career basically became creating their image on social media and to make the marriage a brand and majority believed in the perfect marriage so job well done. But something could never click for me and at least I think it makes sense now why.

Quite interesting though… when you have this type of a marriage, this is if we consider it hasn’t turned into full on genuine love over time… what happens when along comes a man completely and utterly in love with your guy and your guy genuinely falls for him too? The real genuine love and adoration. Must be an… experience. Threatened/insecure/“mine” posts make a little more sense now. Agreement to let them be too. And sudden massive PDA to calm down the insecurity too. Of course maybe it did turn into proper love over time and it’s simply normal Poly arrangement. I’m just thinking when you play with fire, wrap yourself into a relationship that didn’t come to be from pure love, and then someone comes in and showers him in that real love… sorry it’s just that hearing DT suggesting he thinks there’s someone out there for him still (was he starving for the real deal?) made me think about this. Unless I remember what he said wrong but I don’t have time to listen to the whole thing lol.

But yeah, DT, it’s a Welshman apparently. Would you have guessed.

Well we know the answer to that question. Of course it wouldn’t be okay.

It doesn’t trigger me, but if there is one thing I will tell every single woman out there, every time, please never ever stalk a dude, tattoo his name over yourself, and chase until you get pregnant and hope he chooses you over a career. If the rest of the story is true too with her dad… Lord, why.

Always fear a beautiful Welsh man coming in and swooping the man away with genuine love and romance.

NG pretending he had no idea is such a full on bullshit. Dude really gave three roles to the family - the father in law, the son, and wanted GT in it too but she apparently said no. Bruh what are you even doing. Or is this DT desperately trying to get the whole family to work. I don’t even know anymore but I’m sad it’s happening in a show I like so much. Where’s Wally? Or Tennant in fact.

I always find it funny when people believe the persona DT created. I do think he’s genuinely a funny good dude, but he’s not an innocent baby people want him to be. He’s over 50 years old and has been in the business for majority of his life. He knows exactly what, when and how to say. I think he knows exactly what he’s doing now too and he sorted out BAFTAs for the three of them perfectly too. The interviews, the name dropping, the paid for articles, the PDA, the sketch. He’s the one who keeps on telling everyone he has a lot of secrets and creates personas for the public.

It’s just being comfortable isn’t it. Some people really want to see their favourites as heros so they believe only the good. Fuck it, I love the dirt 😂 Zero interest in peach perfect celebs. No need to put anyone on pedestal or look up to them. These stuff are what’s interesting to read.

Sorry I don’t have any proper thoughts about this. Whole situation is wild.

[swamplatibule]

GREETINGS it is 9:25 PM on a Sunday as i write this. My hands are shaking rn but that’s probably a result of the energy drink that gave me heart palpitations earlier </3 anyway it’s time for

Lantern Eclipse!

Lantern Eclipse takes place in a world that ended a while ago! Roughly 100-odd years ago, a combination of weird mold creatures, magic nature spirits, and good old-fashioned nuclear radiation completely took over, resulting in the destruction of the vast majority of manmade areas! Most major cities have been completely overgrown with mold and megaflora, save for a few “havens” scattered few and far in between.

Don’t @ me i’ve lost track of how many apocalypse paracosms i have and that probably says something about my psyche that I’m not ready to hear

ANYWAY. Our story takes place in one of those havens, called Guardian City, which is mostly known for its massive size, wild amount of neon lights, and also the really intense military organization called the Shepherd Division that runs the place like the navy! Or like. Half of it. There’s also the violet district that takes up maybe a fifth of the city, which is mostly controlled by various mob kingpins, drug lords, etc. technicallyyyyy the Shepherd Divison is supposed to control the area, but they generally let the violet district remain as is in exchange for all their bullshit not spilling over into the “respectable” areas.

Also I feel like i should mention that Guardian City is huge. Like the size of Montana. There’s a massive wall surrounding its border to keep the plants out, but you cannot see that wall from the center of the city

ANYWAY. This is all basic background info. Now it’s meat time baybee

This is one of those stories where there are several separate plots with entirely different casts of characters going on at once, so I’m just going to go over one of them for now because it’s getting late and as previously mentioned my hands are shaking so bad rn

The first person we need to meet is Fairywren Merlo! She was a skater boy <3 Fairywren is my darling dearest who can do no wrong. She’s also a mercenary for hire and has most definitely killed before. She has a sniper rifle, roller skates, autism and a dream!!

^ that would be her in Normal WorldTM i still have yet to decide on her canon outfit

The next person you should know about is Eddie Duncan, who i described in my notesapp as “like if colonel sanders murdered people. Charming in a gross way, like a marginally more evil televangelist with a gun.” Eddie is an INCREDIBLY influential figure within the violet district - he’s rich, he has the Shepherd Division in his pocket, and he’s also incredibly dangerous, so everyone wants to stay on his good side. Do people like him? Depends who you ask. Everyone, however, is scared of him. To be more precise, they’re scared of his “hunting dog,” the silent, nameless masked man who follows his every command. we’ll get back to these two later.

now, fairywren is Good At Her Job. a bit too good at it. she gets a job to kill some random ass guyTM who she’s never heard of, so she does it! very well! EXCEPT turns out that was the son of a very important member of the shepherd guard, and the guy who hired her to kill him has now vanished, leaving her a) unpaid and b) being searched for by the shepherds. uh oh!!

the best solution she can think of is to get out of the city, but she doesn’t have any means of surviving outside the city until she meets Eddie, who brings her and a few other mercenaries along on some Top Secret Project that he’s working on which requires them all to venture outside the city wall and search for some lost artifact he needs. fairywren and the others are mostly just there to kill mold monsters and be human shields for him.

they go the first few days without seeing any trouble aside from the usual freaky wasteland monsters, and then uh oh! they get ambushed by a group looking for that same artifact! and this is where the “hunting dog” i mentioned earlier becomes Very Important!

he is what’s known in Neon Eclipse as a “terror” - an ageless, human-appearing creature that feeds only on human flesh and is nearly impossible to kill! they’re like vampires but. worse <3 I can go into SO much detail about them but i will restrain myself for now because it’s story time. but. anyway. everyone in their party watches him absolutely rip through all of their attackers!

obviously Eddie’s hired guns aren’t too pleased about traveling out in the middle of nowhere with a guy who would 100% eat them if given the chance, but Eddie assures them that he’s entirely under control. see, each terror has a “heart,” usually in the form of some small weird looking stone. If someone else gets their hands on it, then they can use it to force the Terror to do whatever they want! and Eddie keeps the heart of his nameless follower on a cord around his neck!

turns out Eddie and his older brother used to be in the business of researching terrors about 40 years ago! they stumbled upon the one that now follows him everywhere while he was asleep, and Eddie’s brother got a bit too close and. well. oopsie!

but hey he might be down a brother but at least he has Some Fuckin Guy on his side

some shit happens, and one by one, everyone else in the party dies in various terrible ways until it’s only Eddie, Fairywren, and the terror left. Then Eddie finds his artifact! yay! buuuuut he doesn’t want any witnesses so Fairywren has to die </3 alas! She manages to escape - barely - but it’s hard to outrun a terror for a few minutes, let alone forever. Eddie catches up to her within a few days, and things are looking Very Bad for our dear fairywren, who is now face to face with death.

BUT. instead of attempting to fight the terror! fairywren shoots Eddie! she fully expects the terror to kill her after, but seeing as the guy commanding him is now dead, he takes his heart from Eddie’s body and leaves! and also starts laughing, which is the first noise Fairywren has ever heard him make. spooky

Fairywren is now completely lost in the cursed wilderness with no way back! BUT she eventually catches up with our terror friend (who can talk now thanks to not having Eddie forcing him to be quiet anymore) and they get to be friends <3 yippie <3 she also gives him the name Ford (she suggested harrison ford because he’s her favorite actor but our terror friend thought harrison was a dumb name) they’re still lost but at least they don’t have to worry if they’re attacked and she is mostly confident that he probably won’t murder her

n e way! that’s one major story thread written, who even knows how many left to go 😭 yay

taglist: @burningivy @shrimpnymph @diphtheria420 @parasdreams @dremieblur @acircusfullofdemons @daydreaming-memories (lmk if you want to be taken off the taglist pretty please!!)

[vegacoyote]

You know what I wanna see? A story about Gotham centered on, like, Gotham paramedics, social workers, legal aid & pro bono lawyers, stuff like that. Emergency services that aren’t the cops. People who help people past the point of ”OK who needs to get punched and/or arrested?”

Think of it, that shit would be wild. Like, how long does this city go between crises where entire city blocks get hit with aerosolized amphetamines? Someone has to deal with that shit.

Look, my sister’s a social worker, and she was telling me about this meme her coworkers found on facebook, some pro-cop bullshit where it was like, ”Well what if there’s some 200 pound naked guy running screaming down the street, you wanna send a social worker after that guy?” And every one of them was like, ”Uh. Yeah. That’s it, that’s the job.”

And like, not that the job doesn’t attract its share of bullies and abusers- I’ve been on the wrong end of shitty social workers before and it sucks- but at least it’s a profession that generally considers it a failure if the client ends up dead, injured, or in jail. At least there’s a potential there for stories that show the humanity of the people who would otherwise only show up to get rescued or have the crap beaten out of them.

Like. Tell us about a homeless shelter in Gotham. Tell us about a food kitchen. Who are the regulars there, and why? Who works there? What’s a day treatment meeting look like in a place where the supervillains cook up a new Crazy Debilitating Gas every week, some of which can fuck your shit up permanently?

What about people just trying to get to work in a situation like that? I bet after a while they just started selling gas masks at corner bodegas. (Probably mostly shitty ones.) Average Gotham Citizen has got to have so much PTSD about it.

I heard somewhere that DC has an editorial rule that goes, ”Gotham always gets worse,” and like. How can you hear that and not feel crushingly depressed? If you can’t tell a Batman story where Gotham gets better, where’s the space in there for hope? Isn’t that what escapist fantasy is supposed to be about? And ”Gotham never gets better” says the opposite of that, it says, ”There’s no escape, nothing gets better, let’s go watch some more civilians get blown up and then punch someone about it to show we care,” and that’s. Terrible. Like 40 cakes worth of terrible, OK?

[creature-wizard]

I wish more people who talked about Michelle Remembers (the book that started the satanic ritual abuse panic) would quit merely just saying "there's no evidence that any of this happened" and start talking about the really obvious bullshit in it. Like if you want to discredit this book, talk about how damn absurd it gets.

Like for example, this demonically possessed woman who morphs her face and spins her head around:

She was just trying to make friends when she first came. Like one minute she's talking to me like I'm a nice little kid, and the next minute she's this ugly thing. She just turned her head around and looked back at me and changed her face. It was the same face saw in the car that night. Its eyes looked like they go way back and stick way out at the same time. Everything about it's unclean. Its nostrils are much bigger than they should be, and it has an ugly mouth. She has this long tongue that can go way out, like a snake's tongue. She's saying really disgusting things but they're all in a different language. She drools a lot and her head starts to go all funny and spins around.

This dude getting his Doctor Frankenstein on:

Michelle was strapped to a stretcher. The doctor came over and looked down at her expressionlessly. Then he went to a table, picked up some metal things—knives, it seemed—and went to one of the bodies.

God help me! Oh, God! He cut off its feet! Oh, no, I don't want to hear. I can hear him cutting its legs. I can hear him cutting the bones up. Oh, no! How can I live with it? Can people live with it? I'm sure I'm going to die. Oh, God, that's what they're going to do to me next.

…

When the doctor had finished with one body, he went to the next and proceeded in exactly the same fashion, until the floor was running with blood and red-stumped members were littered everywhere. And then, just as matter-of-factly, he reversed the process. He picked up a thigh segment from a woman's body and, with fine wire and a needle, began to stitch it onto the torso of one of the males. Then, from still another of the bodies, a lower leg. On he went, limb by limb, assembling a macabre composite, until one body was complete. Finally he attached thick black wires to its limbs. And suddenly, to the child's absolute horror, the body came alive.

Satan physically manifesting and hamming it up in verses and rhyme:

Satan laughed again.

People will do anything for a child. They will kill and steal and run wild. Fall into my pit.

He slammed his tail on the ground. It was like a thunderclap. The hole closed up.

In his Master Plan, Satan had spoken of All Saints' Day:

You'll know the day the march is begun. It's the day they say all saints are one. You'll know and feel it in the air. You'll know and feel the despair.

Satan's oh-so-powerful tail:

The fire at Satan's back as he stood at the rough altar threw his shadow against the ceiling of the round room. Michelle stood next to him, held captive by his burning tail.

Satanic arithmetic:

For ten days Michelle conveyed Satan's counting rhymes, word by word, line by line. At the end, she and Dr. Pazder and Father Guy analyzed the rhymes. They consulted scholarly works on the subject and telephoned certain churchmen with special knowledge. They discovered that, for Satan, numbers have power in themselves, and his counting is a way of controlling that power spiritually. And they arrived at tentative explanations for some of those rhymes.

One and one equal two. These are bones that once were new. Add them up, you'll think it's right. Add them my way, it makes a fight!

The way "you'll think it's right" is the way people normally add one plus one equal two. But done Satan's way, an X is used instead of a plus sign—since the plus sign is also the symbol he hates, the Christian cross. The X between the ones makes them "fight."

One times three Equal me.

Three, for Satan, is the sign of the Trinity. He himself is the one. The times sign, an X, symbolizes his primal fight with the Trinity, a fight he expects to win.

Twenty-eight Is the gate. Divide by four And you'll reach the core.

Twenty-eight is the "gate"—the opening to the Satanic future because it is every twenty-eight years that Satan returns to earth, and because twenty-eight is traditionally Satan's number. He divides it by four because four has always been a spiritually powerful number: There are four seasons, four directions, four elements, four Gospels. The quotient is seven, which is the largest nondivisible integer.

Like, the early parts of the books are like... kind of almost believable, but the further on it goes sillier it gets. We really, really need to talk about what an extraordinarily silly book Michelle Remembers actually is.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax pt 2

Alas, poor Watson. Failed again. It's always so unfair that Holmes sends him off on these solo missions when he knows that Watson won't do what he thinks should be done.

...finding that he could get away from London, he determined to head me off at the next obvious point of my travels

But what about poor Lestrade, that's what I want to know. What's he's supposed to do now Holmes is out of the country?

“I cannot at the moment recall any possible blunder which you have omitted. The total effect of your proceeding has been to give the alarm everywhere and yet to discover nothing.”

I repeat: what were you expecting? You're an intelligent man. Why did you think this would be any different from any of the other times you've asked Watson to do the investigating. It's not his fault, but you insist on putting him through this. Shame. Shame.

It's like using a fork to eat soup.

And now you're sitting there blaming him. Have you no shame, sir?

“I am in touch with Miss Dobney, Lady Frances's governess.” “Old Susan Dobney with the mob cap! I remember her well.” “And she remembers you. It was in the days before—before you found it better to go to South Africa.”

Oh well obviously Watson should have talked to the governess who wasn't even in the country you sent him to. Clearly he should have gone back to England and spoken to her rather than doing the thing you sent him to do.

And also, Holmes exercising some discretion and polite restraint. He clearly saved some up by being a dick to Watson.

"I was a wild youngster, I know—not worse than others of my class. But her mind was pure as snow. She could not bear a shadow of coarseness. So, when she came to hear of things that I had done, she would have no more to say to me. And yet she loved me—that is the wonder of it!—loved me well enough to remain single all her sainted days just for my sake alone."

She sounds insufferable. Just be happy, you numpty. What is even the point of you two being miserable separately. Either be happy or move on properly, none of this 'woe is me' self sacrificing martyrdom bullshit.

“Jagged or torn,” was the message, and the place of origin, Baden. “What is this?” I asked. “It is everything,” Holmes answered. “You may remember my seemingly irrelevant question as to this clerical gentleman's left ear."

I told you that wasn't a joke, Watson. Really you should have known that, as well. In fact, if you and Holmes had actually considered what you know about each other, this story would be very different. As it is, you both seem to have forgotten everything you know about each other.

“It shows, my dear Watson, that we are dealing with an exceptionally astute and dangerous man. The Rev. Dr. Shlessinger, missionary from South America, is none other than Holy Peters, one of the most unscrupulous rascals that Australia has ever evolved—and for a young country it has turned out some very finished types."

I also knew that those two were sus. I feel very vindicated right now. It's nice when I read one of these stories right.

Also, some shade at Australia right there.

"All my instincts tell me that she is in London, but as we have at present no possible means of telling where, we can only take the obvious steps, eat our dinner, and possess our souls in patience. Later in the evening I will stroll down and have a word with friend Lestrade at Scotland Yard.”

Lestrade and the rest of Scotland Yard hearing that Sherlock is back.

"I will give you a note to them, and they will let you wait in the shop. If the fellow comes you will follow him home. But no indiscretion, and, above all, no violence."

I'm not sure we should be trusting this guy with that. This seems like the sort of plan that ends in violence.

For two days the Hon. Philip Green (he was, I may mention, the son of the famous admiral of that name who commanded the Sea of Azof fleet in the Crimean War) brought us no news.

Utterly random little aside there. Could you not have fitted that in any other way, ACD? Li'l bit awkward sticking parentheses in there.

"She is a tall, pale woman, with ferret eyes.”

I rescind my objection, Mr Green, honourable or not, has done an admirable job of not causing violence. I'm inclined to believe this is mostly because it was a woman not a man he was tailing and he's very 19th Century about these things, but even so. Maybe it was just her ferret eyes that softened him. Look at them.

"Once inside it, they have made her a prisoner, and they have become possessed of the valuable jewellery which has been their object from the first."

I feel that this is a very convoluted plan just to get their hands on some jewellery. Surely there were easier and more efficient methods they could have employed?

"And yet how strange that they should ever let a doctor approach her unless he were a confederate, which is hardly a credible proposition.”

How is that not a credible proposition? Doctors can do crime too, y'know.

"Your appearance inspires confidence."

It clearly does in you, Holmes. That's the only possible reason you keep sending him on missions that you must know he's not suited to.

"Are you armed?” “My stick!” “Well, well, we shall be strong enough. ‘Thrice is he armed who hath his quarrel just.’ We simply can't afford to wait for the police or to keep within the four corners of the law. You can drive off, cabby."

Holmes is optimistic, but can you imagine being that cabby? It's probably not the weirdest day he's ever had, but even so. These guys are just talking about murder and being armed and not being able to wait for the police. So glad he was allowed to leave. He did not deserve this. Just going about his day when two mad men get in his cab.

I've already got part three, but that'll have to wait for later.

[adachimoe]

Where did we get Izanagi from?

On the post about Adachi's Izanagi, I brought up the idea that the guys started with starter Pokemon Izanagis. I realize that by leaving out the lines before and after, I was also leaving out the part where we talk about "did Izanami gave people Personas?" oops.

At the gas station, Izanami says that she "jumpstarted" you/Namatame/Adachi's power.

She says that your friends in turn awakened their own powers, guided by the "jumpstart" she gave you.

As you progress through Yomotsuhirasaka, Izanami talks about you, Namatame and Adachi, and the powers you awakened. She credits herself with giving you a jumpstart, but the 3 of you went in very different directions with said power. She goes to describe this: One of you wasn't able to see properly and didn't awaken their power, another strayed from the truth and 'magatsu' corrupted his awakened power, and the third has come this far in search of the truth.

The person who has "come this far" is the protagonist - I don't think there's any argument there. The person who's awakened power was "corrupted by 'magatsu'" must be Adachi because he's the one who literally has a Persona named "Magatsu" Izanagi. I know this was kinda lost in English, but the word she uses is 'magatsu'. (I talked about it more in the "Izanagi is evolving to Magatsu Izanagi" post.) By process of elimination, the person who "didn't awaken their power" is the guy who's leftover - Namatame.

So the "awakened power" that Izanami is talking about is something that the protag and Adachi have but Namatame doesn't. Hmm...

All 3 can stick their hands into the TV. (I was assuming this was some kind of freebie tbh.)

The protagonist and Adachi can summon Personas, but Namatame is never shown summoning a Persona, and there's no indication he has one.

The protagonist has the dream about Igor in the Velvet Room before coming to Inaba and shaking Izanami's hand. The wild card can't be something you received from Izanami.

There's no indication that Adachi is a wild card or visited the Velvet Room. We're looking for something him and the protag share.

Adachi and Namatame share the commonality of getting hijacked by Japanese mythology, and Izanami also takes credit for that. The protagonist does not get hijacked by Japanese mythology... Unless you count the whole game as that. Which... fair, tbh???

I'm guessing the 3 of them awakening Personas (or in Namatame's case, not awakening) is thanks to Izanami's little push. I'm not sure what else she would be talking about. I'm also assuming that the TV access was some kind of freebie / "welcome to Inaba" gift, or perhaps a tool that the guys were supposed to use to help awaken their Personas. (After all, the TV is the only place the P4 Personas work.)

For the rest of your party members and how they got their Personas, Amenosagiri has the big long exposition dump explanation in the December dungeon:

The so-called hollow forest is a made of lies and bullshit, and humans see things as they want to. But there's a moment where humans do desire the truth, the truth hurts the shadows, and that is why the shadows freak out and attack people. This is describing how your party members go, "You're not me!" and then their shadows attack after. Amenosagiri continues that it gave your party their powers as little treats for being able to cross the hollow forest.

This is something that you enabled for your party members because you had a Persona already to fight their shadows before their shadows could kill them. (This also explains why Mayumi and Saki died - no one was there to help them when their shadows lashed out and attacked them.)

Buuuuuuuut in the protagonist's case, we didn't do any of the shit that Amenosagiri is talking about. We just hear Izanagi's "I am thou" after watching Saki on the Midnight Channel. Then later we're able to summon Izanagi and use him to beat up shadows. And we can do all of this without ever going through a 10 floor randomly generated dungeon and fighting our shadow, yada yada.

I'm guessing we were able to bypass all of that thanks to Izanami and her giving us a jumpstart. It's also worth mentioning that both the protag and Adachi have Izanami's fail husband, Izanagi, as their Personas. That seems intentional, and would point to Izanami's involvement.

Thanks, Izanami!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Egg Fu

(WARNING! This analysis contains RACISM! Seriously, just look at this fucking guy, holy shit! What were they thinking?!)

People always have different answers to why people just don’t know Wonder Woman’s adversaries to the same extent that they know Batman or even Superman’s, despite her being one of the Big Three of DC. Some say it’s because Diana is all about diplomatically resolving conflict, and thus ends up befriending her foes. Others claim it’s because she kills her enemies. I’m not sure if either of these groups know what they’re talking about because I don’t read comics as extensively as some, but considering what we’re talking about here I’m guessing DC wants to keep people from knowing her enemies because if they do, they’ll find shit like Egg Fu.

Like, just look at this fucking guy. Look at him.

Like I get comics were racist back in the day, but this one takes the cake. What's even more insane is how they keep trying to revamp and revitalize the character in the modern era, from being a bad guy from Apokolips:

To... whatever the hell this is:

There's got to be reason, right? Why are writers so dead set on trying to rehabilitate the racist communist egg man?

Motivation/Goals: As a Yellow Peril villain, Egg Fu exists to show the EVILS of communism while also making sure to show Asians in the most unflattering light possible. He's not particularly good at either job to be honest, dying every time he comes across Wonder Woman and being so utterly absurd a concept it's hard to take him seriously at all. Like, he's an egg. For what reason? I mean yeah there's the pun, but why is he a fucking egg in-universe? What's the benefit of being an egg with a prehensile mustache? How exactly does it help dominate the filthy Americans (oh, I'm sorry, the Amelicans).

Final Fate: In his very first appearance, Wonder Woman does the right thing and fucking cracks this egg:

When the next Egg Fu shows up, she does more of the same:

Unfortunately, when another Egg Fu named Dr. Yes (he's a robot duplicate, because of course he is) showed up, he got away.

As for the modern Egg Fus, they're probably still kicking around. I'm not reading through fifty issues of storyline to discern the fate of some rebooted racist egg man, sorry.

Best Quote: Surely such a character as Egg Fu must have some great dialogue! Let's see, how about...

Oh. Oh dear. That's, um, not great. Uh, what about...

Oh fuck that's even worse. Er, there has to be something here...

Oh god, the only thing worse than racism is finding out a mid-tier DC movie starring Dwayne Johnson has arrived!!!!

Yeah no this guy gets no points in this category, his dialogue ranges from generic bullshit to the kind of stuff you'd hear from the City Wok guy on South Park.

Final Thoughts & Score: So a while ago I reviewed Fu Manchu, a villain that absolutely fascinates me. He is the archetypal Yellow Peril supervillain who has had an absolutely undeniable impact on popular culture, altering history by spawning legions of imitations (such as Egg Fu here) as well as doing things such as giving a name to a style of facial hair. As with all villains that have such a colossal influence, he got an 11 with an asterisk denoting how monumentally racist the character was, despite their being positive aspects to him that were fair for the time period he was created in.

Now imagine that but without any of the positive qualities. That’s Egg Fu.

This is such an absurd, baffling supervillain even for the time he was created. Like, okay, I get racial stereotypes were prevalent in a lot of comics… but a giant communist egg with a prehensile mustache?! Far be it from me to suggest writers were on drugs when coming up with their wild ideas, but you have to admit that substance abuse would go a long way towards explaining why this was allowed to happen. Simple racism can’t explain this; it’s a giant fucking egg.

I think the sheer insanity of it all is what draws me to this character. Not only is it blatantly racist, they also keep trying to bring back and reimagine him. And like, yeah, that’s kind of sick and I love when weird-ass ideas get revamped and recontextualized for the modern era… but Egg fucking Fu? It’s bad enough we had Egg Fu the Fifth and his evil clone Dr. Yes all within the span of a year before being dropped for decades, but then they decided to dust him off and try a redo? Why?

I think the appeal to try and revitalize him comes from the fact that, as far as stereotyped and racist caricature villains go, Egg Fu is so fucking bizarre. Like I can't stress enough this is a giant communist egg who speaks in broken English and has a prehensile mustache. In a sea of Yellow Peril villains he easily stands out despite being relatively obscure from the sheer fact he's not simply a racist stereotype; he's an insane racist stereotype that just boggles the mind as to what the writers and artists were actually trying to say with this.

The history of this character is just so weird, his very existence is weird… He’s the opposite extreme of Fu Manchu for me. While Fu is fascinating for his impact on culture and deserves the highest marks with that caveat that he’s also extremely problematic, Egg Fu gets a 3/10 with a similar caveat. He’s so bad it’s good, but he’s bad because he’s a racist caricature, which isn’t great. I see this like I do the movie The Conqueror, the movie where John Wayne played Genghis Khan. Yes, it’s absolutely absurd and tasteless that these white people are playing Asians, but at the same time everything about this is so absurdly racist it crosses the line twice and somehow manages to become hilarious. Like what are you even trying to do here? It’s offensive in a way where you can’t do anything but laugh at them because they genuinely thought they were on to something here.

And that’s ultimately how I feel about Egg Fu. They really thought they were cooking something with this one, but this egg didn’t poach them any new readers and he hasn’t gone over easy with modern audiences. It’s really hard not to crack up at this complete yolk of a character. So yes, Egg Fu is enjoyably bad in a “What were they even fucking trying to do here?” sort of way, and he’s definitely one of my favorite insane comic book villains that time has forgotten… but there’s no denying that this is a character who is inherently problematic.

Anyway, this review has given me excessive racism poisoning, so I think I'm going to review a comic villain who isn't horribly offensive next time.

COMING SOON! PSYCHO-ANALYSIS: HEMO-GOBLIN!

The South African white supremacist vampire who gives people AIDS!

(Just kidding, I'm reviewing Snowflame).

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIIII MACKINTOSH goob morning,,, pd episode 11 update ASHE MOMENT hi. hi oh my god. everyone HAS to be obsessed with him right?? he has to be like a fandom favorite guy HES GOT A CURSED GRIMOIRE!!! awsome. awesome sick i love him.

REALLY chewing on all the dakota & william stuff this episode... what will said about his wisp form being kind of terrifying because he never knows if he'll really be able to return to his body... ohh man thats so good. kid who's soul is just kind of held in by a thread rattlin around in there... + also this ep was great re: the trivia point u mentioned last night ab dakota & will clashing morality!! bc yeah!!! wild that wiwi's hesitance to Torture People wasn't because of the Torturing People part but just bc he's afraid of himself... dakota just having to Leave partway through... aughh. vyncent also holy shit!! all of these guys are having such a bad time.

I LOVE ASHE oh my godd. such a specific type of alt kid i love him. type of guy i would befriend like a shy stray cat at orchestra camp after complimenting his red jumpsuit apparatus hoodie. also there HAS to be insane amounts of discourse re: wavelength (holy shit. mark. mark. shrieked at that. i feel like i cant call him that its too weirddddd) parenting methods?? there HAS to be people who r like well i can excuse the murders but i draw the line at homeschooling ur bound-to-a-demonic-book kid. yeah youre right he & tide r so divorced 2 me. single dad & single mom. why is he so intent on getting tide back hmm??!!

anyway... hghghbk. good episode i won't make this even longer & start talking ab the spirit world stuff (!!!???!!!?!!?!!) BUT i hope u r having a good dayyyyy <3333

FUCK YEAAAAAH IM SO EXCITED YOUVE FINALLY MET ASHE I LOVE HIM SOOOOO MUCH. I LOVE HIM SO VERYMUCH . AUAGHGHHH. ashe winters my boy forever... i KNEW u would like him i could feel it in my BONES. hell yes. love love love a grimoire guy :]

I CANT WAIT 2 SEND U THE TRIVIA FOR THIS EP i started writing it out at the beginning of my shift this morning and then had to go to like a billion meetings so you dont get it until i get home. but theres some TASTY behind the scenes characterization discussion. ohhh thays my favorite. esp irt dakota this ep :] i love him so much . i love all of them so much

ANYWAY. william ashamed of his powers mkment!!!! my boy he is made of catholic guilt. anyway. i fucking loved how he ghost shaped his spirit form for intimidation instead of actually using it. hes so smart hes so cool hes everything to me if i start thinking about william wisp for too long ill go fucking bonkers crazy.

MARK. MAAAAAAARK. DUDE IM SO FUCKING GLAD YOUVE FINALLY LEARNED HIS NAME BC IVE ALMOST CALLED HIM MARK IN UR NOTES SO MANY TIMES AND IVE HAD TO CORRECT MYSELF. wavelength who. this is my deadbeat dad best friend mark winters. HES NOT A DEADBEAT DAD. IM SORRY. ok ok ok. i cannot say much irt him rn but there IS a reason hes like this hes not just shitty for the sake of it. he does care very much hes just bad at it. uhhhhhhghdgdgdgggdgdrrrghg i love him. a lot . #1 mark winters apologist blog right here. im not even sorry. luckily..luckily i have not seen the discorse about him yet but i know its out there somewhwre. sigh.

u know whats funny. youll hear this a little bit but its mostly in the bts stuff. grizzly fucking HATES mark. and that bleeds into how he plays dakota which makes sense but its SO FUNNY in the rolleds just how much he gets mad at mark. which !!! understandable he sucks hes terrible. but im built different i love him.

AND TIIIIIIIIDE. hey. hey remember when william was interrogating mark the first time. in the holding cell. and he tried to use a ghost shaped tide at first but mark called bullshit right away because "tide's never spoken to me like that before" hey . fellas.

[savethepinecones]

1, 16, 20, 25! + any one of your choosing

1: what is your nickname?

i dont have any based on my name since its already v short but ive had internet folks call me pinecones or piney and i like those!

16: what do you think makes you attractive?

i think physically my eyes are my best feature but if were talking personality uhh i guess ive got a solid sense of humor?

20: whats a totally random and useless fact that you know?

every piece of knowledge ive ever had just abandoned me lol. if you feel like youre going to sneeze you can stop it by touching the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth a few times, like if you were saying la la la (i think i was told youre supposed to say "pineapple" but its the tongue thing thats the actually effective part)

25: do you/have you played any sports?

oh man. i did gymnastics for a bit when i was like four. tried ballet when i was seven but eventually decided to pursue piano instead (my mom had my sister and i try both for a year and then pick one to stick with). i also was on a soccer team at some point, maybe in first grade? i actually dont remember it at all but i vaguely remember looking at the team photos. also i remember the high socks lol. and then i briefly did softball in middle school because my childhood best friend had picked it up the year before and i wanted to fit in. im very asthmatic though so most if not all of these Did Not Go Well lol

and for the bonus one ill go with 19: a time that you told a lie

first off some important context for this is that i was raised mormon and every summer the church would have all the girls ages 13-17 go camping for like a week. they do hikes and crafts and devotionals etc. i think its all standard church camp type stuff.

so the first year i went they had the younger girls go on a short hike while the older ones went on a longer one. when we got back, a couple friends and i were curious about the longer hike so we decided to check the trail out during free time. we kept walking for quite a while. idk how long it was but we knew wed been gone long enough that people would have noticed we were missing. if i had to guess id say maybe an hour or so idk. anyway we got to a point where the path started to trail off and disappear so we decided to stop for a bit and then work our way back. we were in a pretty big meadow but there were some trees partway down a hill and one of my friends went down there to pee and carved some initials on a tree. i think she said she carved something for me and my crush at the time but i never saw it lol.

anyway eventually we started to head back and at some point we realized we were probably gonna get in trouble for disappearing. i was really worried about it but one of the girls was like "no dont worry about it ill take the blame" and suggested that we tell everyone that she had seen a deer and followed it and then the other girl and i went after her because we didnt want her to get lost in the woods alone.

about halfway back to camp we started hearing people calling our names. we kinda figured there might be some people looking for us but what we werent expecting was that they were men. remember, this is Girls Camp. usually the bishop would show up for a day or two but other than there werent any guys up there. turned out the bishop showed up while we were gone and some other guys whod driven up with him to drop off some food offered to help him look for us.

eventually the search party found us and we all stuck to our story when they asked us what had happened. i think we also said that initially wed been lost and really scared but then we said a prayer and just like that we found a path! and thats why they found us on a trail even though wed supposedly run off into the woods at random. it was very dramatic and spiritual. and also complete bullshit.

so we finally get back to camp and the leaders are all fretting over us. the girl who "followed the deer" did get a lecture about not chasing wild animals because they could be dangerous but that was about it. no big repurcussions.

that night we had a devotional, which is basically just the whole group sitting around the campfire and telling stories about when they felt the holy spirit or whatever. usually the leaders will start off by reading some scriptures or a talk from some church official and then theyll turn it over to the kids to talk about their experiences. in the middle of this, a deer wandered into the clearing near our camp. some of the girls pointed it out because cool, a deer. but the moment the three of us saw it, my friend who had supposedly followed a deer into the woods earlier that same day jumped up and shouted "thats the deer!"

for some reason everyone, including the adults, took it at face value that this random deer in the woods must be the exact same one wed supposedly seen earlier that day and also that it was some sort of sign that god had been looking out for us while we were "lost"

looking back on it now it doesnt really seem like a big lie but it felt like a huge deal at the time because we lied to The Bishop. for a long time i considered this to be the worst thing id ever done. we never came clean to anyone whod been there at the time and i dont think i even told my mom the real story until like a decade later lol

that story ended up being way longer than i thought it would be lol (ive told it before but never written the whole thing out so the word count is surprising) but its probably the most exciting lie ive got. the alternative stories are mostly like "i was super depressed but didnt think that would be considered a valid reason to bail on something so i said i had a migraine" so i think it was the best option despite the length. also its been a while since i thought about this and it made me nostalgic so yay

thanks for asking!! i had a lot of fun answering these (you can tell by how long this post ended up being lol)

[boygun]

My part for the trade with @imjustabeanie

Okay, so you’ve given me quite a task. Finally, I’ve settled on one. I fell asleep typing so I’m posting this now instead of last night. Second place belongs to Vox, but that’s a differed story. As for the official verdict, I match you with…

Lucifer! He strikes me as a guy who’d give you plenty of space but would definitely care. In his own way. Sometimes, he’s not all that great with words, but he’d try to show you that he cares (even if he can't always be around either because of his duties or depression-) with gifts and doing things for you. Not in a babying you. And he’d treasure every single thing you give him. It could be the weirdest thing, but we’ve seen this man’s house - putting your craziest gifts up on display won't make the aesthetic any more whack with those ducks around.

In my opinion, the N/S mbti dynamic works well and he has some S vibes. That sort of thing gives the relationship balance without being too contrasting.

And, please, your cold demeanor and irony matched with the King of Hell who’s this warm, enthusiastic guy is iconic. When people hear about you two, they assume they should be cautious of him. Then they meet him and he’s literally just a guy. But the second they say some bullshit he just lets you go at them and obliterate them verbally. That's when they find out they were intimidated by the wrong person. True scary dog privileges.

For the most of the show he’s put in a pretty compromising position where he can't do much for his loved ones (mainly Charlie), but you are bound by no deal. Go, get those Exorcists! A real power couple.

Though his bluntness is expressed in a different way from yours I feel like that shared trait could be one of the things that connect you two. Like, sometimes he needs to hear your deadpanned comment to get himself together.

Sometimes, he can be all over the place when he feels like he’s been put in a tough spot, but don’t dread him coming to you all whiny and helpless. His dread is his to know and he usually deals with it in private. What he does come to you finally, it’s usually for levelheaded advice and normal discussion.

Your curiosity woks well with his an his creative soul definitely fuels it. Not only does he know a lot (he was around for a long time, come on; also asking questions is kind of his thing, much to his detriment) but he enjoys having someone to recount some stories to. And the way you detailed how you cannot stand failure paired with him being so tied (at least in actual religion) to Pride is kind of nice as a concept. Like, a running theme I guess? I mean, would be cool in the show, you know.

This man is a disaster when it comes to dealing with negative feelings and I’m a firm believer that having someone to relate to you is way better than the whole ‚I can fix him’ thing. So you guys could just communicate at your own pace and it would be nice not to have that other person pressuring you to just ‚open up and be vulnerable☺️🌸’ like it’s something everyone should do with ease and pleasure.

And this man has the craziest True Crime stories, you can’t convince me otherwise. Don’t put on a podcast, let him talk and enjoy your evening. He’s seen wild things and has no issue with recounting them.

If you’re up to it, he’d definitely get you into doing some inventions/projects together, even if you just ‚fuck around and find out’ he would find it rather charming to have another perspective. Just spend some time with him and play around in his work space (not really sure what that room is at this point, but there is a ton of equipment on the walls, so it could double as some sort of study). You could even just draw alongside him while he works on his ducks. And he would love it if you ever wanted to make a project for him of a duck. The man would make it in SECONDS I swear. He’d find your little ‚collab’ so cool.

Additional he knows how to deal with loneliness without giving you any pity, he’s been there, he knows things suck sometimes and he’s far from overbearing about it.

Sure, Lucifer might be ‚nice’ but he’s THE King of Hell. If you told him about that DNA-related dream of yours ethics wouldn’t be much of a concern, he’d try to help you to figure it out. I mean, he might be a little reluctant about making more humans, cause like, from his experience there’s one out of three chance it will be a disaster. But cloning isn’t technically the same as creation, so it should be fine? That’s yours to find out!

[nothingfromnowherenooneatall]

Americans are wild tbh. Like, there’s a certain subset of (white) americans who, upon discovering The Truth of their country’s history, that will desperately flock to shite like 23&Me to scrounge up any form of identity they can that isn’t American, and then proceed to be so violently cringe inducing about it. Had this happen with a guy I knew while I spent a year at an American Uni; dude took an ancestry kit, found out that he had one (1) Scottish ancestor like 200 years ago, and has proceeded to be an absolute melter about it, I mean proper glaikit cunt behaviour. Fuckin started putting his ‘clan’ name in his Social Media bios, started cuttin about wae a kilt anywhere and everywhere, shite like that. Also decided he’s Irish Pagan too? No fuckin idea where that came from tbh.

My point being, this cunt got so defensive when I spoke to him to say “Hey, I appreciate that you’re doing this with the best intentions, but some of this is a little inappropriate/not the best way to go about it” and holy fucking shit this man? Tried to tell me? That I can’t tell him off? for wearing a kilt? despite him not being Scottish? Because I? Skateboard? Even though I’m not American?

Trust me when I say, this shit was in the top 5 most enraged I’ve ever been in my life, I was ready to kill this man.

And the thing is, its so emblematic of so, so many Styrofoam Scots to not only completely misunderstand Scottish culture and identity, but also to ignore when an actual Scottish person is telling them it’s inappropriate.

To add additional context; He has never been to Scotland, no one in his family speaks the Gàidhlig, no one has passed this culture onto him, he’s just taken it. I am the only Scottish person he had ever met by this point, and he didn’t want to hear the opinion of someone who’s actually from the culture he’s appropriating.

Like, its so, so American, to feel so ashamed of your history of genocide and racism, so run to be anything else, and still fuckin take someone else’s culture, rather than do the work to make your own culture something to be proud of.

And even then, so many of these Styrofoam Scots completely ignore our own history of participating in… *checks notes*

Oh yeah, The British Empire

Scotland isn’t fuckin outlander, it hasn’t been for a long time, and it probably never was. What it is, is a neo colonial hellhole that’s under the thumb of a dying and outmoded political alliance that’s drunk on the nostalgia of a genocidal Empire, wracked with poverty, unable to enact our own democracy, and plundered for its natural resources by capitalist interests (Quite a few of them American; Aberdeen has never recovered), and still trying to shake off the bullshit tourism and gentrification of an entire culture brought on by Walter Scott and his cunt friends. We’re still trying to restore the Gàidhlig to where it used to be before the clearances, and we will NEVER get back the history that we lost in those years, so its not the place of some limp liberal, LARPing as a culture he isn’t to take a language for his own that was taken from us.

Scotland, and by extension, Scottish Identity, or any other identity for that matter, is not something that white american liberals (because its usually them) can use to shield themselves from the uncomfortable truths of their history and excuse themselves from doing the work to make their culture something to actually be proud of.

(And if that one guy is reading this;

Get my language out your fucking mouth, maorach.)

Anyway thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

Trans Liberation Now, Free Palestine, Sudan and Congo, Stop using Fossil Fuels, Abortion Rights for All, Fuck the Police and End Imperialism.