#ACTIVE LISTENING

[michaelbogild]

I guarantee your soul is telling you exactly what you should be doing.  The question is whether or not you’re listening.

Mel Robbins

[healthyhappyfunnysexywealthy]

A must listen

[the-ephemeral-ethereal]

Hearing is a physiological phenomenon. Listening is a psychological act.

from The Responsibility of Forms by Roland Barthes

[stoicmike]

I wanted to tell you how I felt about it — not to be listening to a lot of advice. -- Michael Lipsey

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

has anyone else autistic/nd got this thing where they've mastered active listening skills to make people feel like they're being listened to even if you're not looking at them, to the point of just displaying those behaviours instead of actually listening to what they're saying, and then being like ????? when someone says something that they've clearly said to you before only you weren't listening cus NT conditioning has you fully convinced (consciously or otherwise) that appearing as if you're listening is much more important than ACTUALLY LISTENING, and as a result you look/sound like you're listening when you're not and you miss important things all the time??? cus hey. it me

[upliftmentandenrichment]

"When you love someone, the best thing you can offer him or her is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?"

— Thích Nhất Hạnh

[thefeminineessence]

One of the best things you can do is stop and listen; that’s why it’s good to not just immediately respond when someone talks to you. Just stop and make sure you internalized what they said.

Lori Richardson

[psychopatois]

ACTIVE LISTENING

Active Listening helps us comprehend the person's message and makes them feel heard, as well as:

Connect genuinely with others

Handle difficult situations

Create opportunities

Strengthen relationships

Also requires you to identify and put your negative thoughts aside in order to genuinely listen to others

Active Listening is a combination of Critical, Reflective, and Passive listening

Critical Listening - Takes the most effort - Involves processing a message while using judgment to determine facts from opinions -- Aka: creating an analysis and opinions of the person's message (i.e., listening to news or analyzing a political speech)

Reflective Listening - Using your own words to repeat what you heard the person say - Don't have to analyze or judge - You let the person know you have received, and comprehended, their message

Passive Listening -Lending your attention to the person's voice without any intention of responding to their message - Most common - not healthy if this is your main communication style

2 Most common techniques to develop the ability to manage emotions:

Paraphrasing Clarify that you understood the individual correctly If not, the individual then has the opportunity to correct you

Non-Verbal Language (Paralanguage) When the listener uses non-verbal cues (body movements, gestures, eye contact), it can make the person speaking feel important

Reasons for difficulties with listening

Identify barriers and get rid of them

Richard West and Lynn Turner

Grouped hearing barriers into 4 types of noise:

Physical noise - caused by external sounds

Physiological noise - caused by illness, biological impairments, or articulation problems

Semantic noise - caused by difficulties with comprehending an individual's words due to jargon/bad grammar

Psychological noise - caused by mental and emotional factors

How to sharpen Communication Skills

Challenge distortions

Look at your negative automatic beliefs and decide their alignment with reality

Manage expectations

Practice Mindfulness

The awareness of physiological and semantic noises and refusing to be affected by them

Practice emotional self-regulation

Practice Persuasion

Powerful communication tool

Helps get through to people easily

Motivational Interviewing

Allow interviewers and interviewees to focus on possible solutions rather than problems

Non-verbal cues

Make people feel like they have your permission to talk about their emotions with ease

How to practice becoming a great listener

Know triggers

Get familiar with tolerance levels for various emotionally charged situations

Identify types of noise(s) that impede your ability to listen well

[midlifevirus]

Propagate Patience

[queer-homemaking]

Things I like to do to make my friends feel loved pt. 1

We all want our friends to know how much we care about them and we all have different ways of showing it. These are a few things that I personally find great joy in doing! These things require very different amounts of energy or time to do, but most really just boil down to “remember or write down the stuff your loved ones like”, so you don’t forget lol.

1. Baking! Or any kind of “making” really: I keep a little list of cakes and baked goods that I know my loved ones love. One friend really loves brownies, so I like to try out new brownie recipes once in a while, to find his favorite. Another friend likes chocolate chip cookies and I’m still trying to figure out how to make them right haha. But I’m getting pretty good at making my mom’s favorite cake!

2. Planning ahead for birthdays: I keep close track of birthdays! Last year I started planning ahead for all birthdays and even though I didn’t always succeed in getting things done in time or at all, I’m trying again this year! It gives me time to order things with a long shipping time or make things myself. And remembering that birthdays are happening all the time, makes it easier for me to remember to jot down ideas when I think of them. I even keep a document with gift ideas for all my friends and family members! 

3. Listen, like really listen: It’s so easy to zone out a bit, when your loved one is rambling on about something you really couldn’t care less about. And while we all have very different attention spans, even an attempt to keep up goes a long way! My brother recently told me how nice it was that I actually listened to him talk about farming and big machines, since our parents are often too busy or tired to really take it all in. You don’t have to ask follow-up questions or add commentary, just giving your full attention for a little while is really all it takes! 

And these are all things I’m still practicing and trying to get better at. But that’s the whole point. When you put in effort to show love, it will be noticed, even if you feel like you are fumbling. Everything in life is a skill of some kind and we all grow in little ways every day, as long as we put a lil effort into it <3 

[parentsnevertoldus]

Active Listening 101

from MindTools.com

1. Pay Attention. Give your undivided attention to the speaker, & acknowledge the message. Pay attention to body language. Look at the speaker directly and avoid distraction. Don't mentally prepare a defense or disagreement!

2. Show that you're listening. Use body language and gestures to show that you're interested. Try occasional nodding and smiling combined with spoken encouragement like "yeah, uh-huh"

3. Give feedback–as a listener, it is our job to understand what is being said. Ask questions to clarify points. Reflect out loud with what you're hearing by saying things like "What it sounds like you're saying is..." or "What I'm hearing is..."

4. Defer judgment. Don't interrupt to disagree. Don't interrupt at all!

5. Respond appropriately using the information you understood from the speaker. Be candid, open, and honest in a respectful way. Respond how you would want someone to talk to you.

[eggwhiteswithspinach]

The power of active listening, but also the power of writing, of storytelling such that others might find solace in your words - that is the first bud of growth.

https://medium.com/age-of-empathy/how-to-grow-through-powerful-storytelling-16a321a85174 / #poetry

[intentional-relationship]

Active listening is listening attentively without interrupting and restating what was heard

There are two skills that will help shape a positive environment for communication in your relationship: assertiveness and active listening. If assertiveness is about one partner sharing how they feel and asking clearly and directly for what they want, then the process of active listening is for the receiver of that message, to let the speaker know their message was accurately received. It’s…

[spankedbyspike]

Being there, in the moment, in the present for the ones you care about looks like this 🤗

[richardvarey]

The escape room

In my ideal escape room, the door lock would be on the inside, and it would have single occupancy. I share my listening space as a family room.

[nofoodjustwax]

Charlie Haden / Liberation Music Orchestra - Ballad of the Fallen

Charlie Haden / Liberation Music Orchestra – Ballad of the Fallen

LP, ECM Records, 1983 Style: Experimental Big Band, Avant-Garde Jazz, Flamenco Vibe: Mournful, Communal, Political, Anthemic, Conceptual, Conscious, Liberation, Sombre, Traditional Musical Qualities: Polyphonic, Suite, Acoustic, Complex, Dynamic, Thematic Improvisation, Instrumental, Orchestral, political, Technical Personnel Charlie Haden – double bassCarla Bley ��� piano, glockenspiel,…