#AND AN ORIGINAL ONE which I broke some ground on this weekend too i had a fucking epiphany it was great

[miscreantahead]

honestly, writing takes up a fucking absurd amount of my time. who could I be if I quit and became one of those fabled ppl who thinks about writing but never actually does it

[mondaysjournal]

8/5/2023 - Gravity

Hi princess. It's probably obvious by now, but did you know that I'm incredibly, deeply, insanely in love with you? I'm always thinking about how much I just want to kiss you and how happy you make me. Life has been kind of boring here without you, but it's okay because you're less than three weeks away. It's really exciting!

I don't know if I did anything too interesting in the past week...on Thursday, I did manage to win a game with chun-li, which was also the first time I ever played that deck. It turns out that it's very difficult to deal with a hullbreaker horror when you have dozens of treasures from smothering tithe and you drew 16 cards from a blue sun's zenith. And I ended up applying to an urban designer assistant position on Friday. I don't know how far I'll make it in the process, since I don't have any actual experience doing stuff like architectural drawings in CAD or creative suite...but we'll see. It's fine since I already have a job, and maybe a position in planning will open up eventually. It would be cool to get this, though. You'll be the first to know if I do.

Today I went to fall river. Traffic wasn't horrible, and it wasn't as hot as previous weekends have been, though it wasn't as nice as ipswich was last week. I got there somewhat late, so I didn't really cover as much ground as I usually do. Of course, the first thing I did was go to the game store, but before that I had to take some pictures of the area around where I parked:

I think that was their city hall, or something like that.

These guys were squawking at each other for a bit in a very noticeable way.

This was Game King. It was a very large store, with lots of space that seemed to be dedicated for WH40k stuff. There was a good amount of interesting product, like old duel decks in japanese, old playmats and deckboxes, some foreign language singles, though I didn't get them. I just got a japanese magic origins pack and an LTR set booster. I got an alhammarets archive and a mithril coat, so I about broke even. After that, I got some chinese food for lunch, but I didnt realize they didnt give me any utensils until I was already gone, so I went to another chinese food place to get them, and then sat down at a park to eat it. There was this tree:

And to the left of me, the park looked like this:

After I was done eating, I decided to go and actually see if I could get close to the river. There was an overlook that wasn't very far from the park that I went to, though it wasn't entirely easy to actually get down to the river. It was still on a lower elevation, as shown here:

Some guy in one of the many cars that were parked in the area noticed I was looking for a way to get down, and he pointed out this path to me, but said he wasn't really sure about it. It was not exactly the safest path, but there were enough footholds to go down and get back up. I almost decided not to go down, but then I thought about how much I wanted you to see this, and kept going.

And then I finally was at the river.

The grass there is actually pretty tall, so I didn't go past it to try and actually touch the river. But I did get some good views of it.

It was a pretty long shore, being a river and all, but I decided to just keep within this small area for the few minutes I was there.

I stood on top of a rock and managed to get a picture of this guy hanging out.

And then I decided to take a short video so you could hear the wind and the waves, like I did.

I didn't get to see too much in town, but that's fine. This was enough for me. I don't know if I'll go back any time soon, but it wasn't bad at all. Soon we'll be able to go wherever you want, so I hope you get some ideas for little trips like this. I am so excited to see you again and share life with you.

I love you so much.

[cherryyharryy]

angst to fluff where y/n finds out she was originally just supposed to be a rebound type thing after he broke up with someone like idk something like he broke up with someone on the european leg of tour and she was supposed just be with him until he went on another leg but then he started to love her and brings her on the rest of tour with him and she finds out abt the rebound thing after the last show of tour where everyones drunk and celebrating and one person lets it slip

I tweaked it just a bit...hope that's ok:)

WC: 3.5K

****

“You look beautiful.”

I skim my nose across Harry’s cheek, his chin resting on my shoulder, and hum against stubble that wasn’t there this morning. “You’ve said that five times tonight.”

“And?” He slips around to face me.

His suit is a deep maroon, probably black if you’re far away, probably purple if you’ve had too much champagne. His chest expands when I slide my hand down.

“Love this dress.” He takes my hand off and pulls me closer, pressing a kiss to my head.

“You two forget where you’re at?” Another foreign voice surrounds us, well, foreign to me.

“Fucker,” Harry says to the man. They pat each other’s backs as the guy walks away. “Tyler Johnson.”

“Oh.”

“He worked with me on the last album.”

“Okay.”

It’s like the fifteenth person that I’ve been introduced to tonight, all of whom pass by with quick hellos, inside jokes with Harry, and little interest in me. The fast paced world of the rich and famous doesn’t slow down, even for charity.

“Harry, so glad you could make it.” Another voice, another man. This one lingers, long enough to receive my name, and offer a cliche compliment about my patience to put up with this beautiful bastard on my arm.

I thank him with the smile I’ve learned to speak through. These celebrities never stop smiling. Never stop posing. Never stop.

Then he’s gone too, and Harry’s whispering yet another name in my ear, of which I’ll forget seconds later because these people ultimately mean nothing to me. They all seem to pass through each other’s lives whenever convenience allows, playing house and acting like grown ups who get the privilege of not truly growing up.

I feel like the Gucci dress Harry had tailored to my body doesn’t fit. My posture sucks. I’m too scared to eat any of the finger foods being carried on silver platters through the hall. I haven’t learned how to smile through food I don’t like or not make a mess or take small enough bites. I swear, not one glass of champagne has any lipstick on it. They’re like magic.

I look at Harry. He’s stepped away to converse with a face that I do know. He and Jeff speak animatedly, Harry’s arms gesturing to whatever story he’s telling. I step over to one of the dressed tables and place what little weight I can onto the chair, needing to cling to something. When I look back up I smile, the two of them now laughing, and probably a little too loud for this charity auction.

“Y/n...right?”

I whip around, a man I’ve seen in pictures on Harry’s phone holds out his hand.

I straighten my back and accept his greeting. “Yes.”

“Finally we meet!” He catches my confusion and chuckles. “I produced Harry’s last album.”

Something clicks in my head, and he’s suddenly more familiar. “Oh! I knew that.”

Tom Hull...Kid Harpoon I process just as he introduces his name.

“I—”

An arm slipping around my waist stunts my question, Harry tipping back a red drink with his free hand while the other squeezes my hip. “Just tell this one to leave you alone,” he jabs.

Tom rolls his eyes, patting the breast of his green suit to look for something, only to show off his middle finger.

“Can’t believe the two of you haven’t met,” Harry says.

“I know, I guess we just missed each other.” Tom nods to me. “Heard you went to quite a few shows.”

“As many as I could.”

An uneasy sting travels down my spine. I did go to many shows, practically following Harry around his entire tour...all on his dime. Lord knows the man can afford it, but I still felt weird about him dishing out thousands of dollars to add me to each plane ride.

“Well I’m happy to see you two kids together,” Tom jokes, patting Harry on his back. “I’ve told him he needs to date women who will fuck him up. That’s where the songs are.”

He saunters off like he did not just say that. No. Absolutely not.

My face burns and it hurts to turn my head, but I still manage to narrow my eyes at Harry.

“Do you want another drink?”

I wait. I give him more than enough seconds to explain what the hell that was. But he’s clueless—ignorant.

“No. I do not.”

***

I do not bother taking my heels off in the car. My plan is to storm into our hotel room the second we park. Possibly locking Harry out...haven’t decided on that part yet.

The vague chit chat he makes with the driver stirs my nerves. It shouldn’t make me angry, and it’s not so much the act as it is his demeanor. He’s too cheery right now and it’s pissing me off.

“Okay,” he grabs my attention from Los Angeles flying past my window, the partition rolling up to leave us completely alone in the back seat. “What’s wrong?”

I bite my tongue, literally. “Nothing.”

“You seemed...irritated.”

“Did I?”

“Y/n.”

I turn to face him, inhaling sharply to calm my coming words. “Why are you with me?”

His face pales, and not a muscle moves. He just stares at me until he finally blinks and starts jerking his jaw around. “What are you talkin’ about?”

I roll my eyes. “The fact that you don’t know, bothers me even more.” I sigh, fighting back tears because I am determined not to cry in front of him. “Tom said that you should date people that fuck you up.”

“O—oh. That’s all?”

I squint, curling my lip. “What do you mean, that’s all? Is that not enough for you? Because that was a lot for me to hear tonight.”

“Baby, he was just messing around.”

I don’t budge.

“Really, it’s nothin’ to think about.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup my jaw. “Promise. It’s just like when people told you that you could do better than me, or insult me to compliment you.” He shrugs. “It’s just party talk.”

I process his words, supposing he’s not wrong. He did receive quite a few insults in lieu of my praise tonight. Maybe I was just on edge because of the setting; being surrounded by the rich and famous while I struggle to pay my rent each month isn’t exactly grounds for positive thinking.

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for.” He leans over to kiss me, stroking my face as his lips skim over mine. “Did I tell you how stunning you look tonight?”

***

It’s funny how your brain works. How emotions swoop in and corral your thoughts, like a salesman who pretends to care about you so they can get what they want. My mind was desperate for relief, from hearing Tom’s nervy comment, and I naively allowed Harry to take what he needed in that moment.

Something’s not quite right. I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it.

I’ve been mulling over Harry’s words in my head all weekend, playing them on repeat, hoping they’ll start to make sense, but if anything their value keeps dropping. What worries me the most, is that I don’t know whether he’s trying to protect me or himself. I don’t know if one is any better than the other.

It’s golden hour when we pull up to the beach. I can hear the music before I even open the car door; a volleyball shoots up over the rows of bushes hiding the party, disappearing and popping back up a moment later.

I don’t really want to be here, but I also don’t want to be the girlfriend who won’t support their boyfriend.

“Ready?” Harry asks, and I nod.

The closer we walk, the clearer the music becomes. Harry’s voice takes over the private beach, and I wonder if they’re playing his entire album or just Golden on repeat.

A good bit of the people drinking and chatting I recognize form the event the other night, but there are still plenty of new faces. I take some fruity drink that was offered to me and down half of it before my feet hit sand.

And so the routine continues. I’m introduced to someone, they compliment me, laugh with Harry, congratulate him on pretty much everything he’s ever done, and then repeat with a new face. I do manage to find Sarah at one point after I’ve detached myself from Harry, and the two of us head for the water.

“Are you feeling okay?” Sarah asks once our toes are wet.

I hold my breath and count to five, finishing whatever the hell I’m drinking before I can answer her. “I’m great.”

“Harry said you weren’t doing too well after the auction?”

“Yes, Harry does a lot of talking with people when I’m not around.”

“Alright, spill it,” Sarah says.

I trace the rim of my glass, flicking my eyes over my shoulder to make sure we’re far away from the party. “It’s stupid, really, I’m just a little...I don’t know...Tom said something the other night that rubbed me the wrong way. And Harry doesn’t seem to care.”

“What did he say?”

“Just something about how Harry needs to have relationships with people who will fuck him up.”

“Ooh,” she nods, seemingly well versed in the statement. “Yeah that’s an Iggy Pop quote. Tom mentioned it in Rolling Stone when he was interviewed.” She sips her drink, eyes growing small over the rim. “It was just a cheap line of advice he gave Harry after he was torn up after his last breakup.”

“Wait, so he actually did say that before? Like before the other night?”

Sarah drifts her eyes up in thought, nodding. “Um hm. After him and Camille broke things off.” She shrugs, and gestures to the party exploding on the beach behind us. “Fine Line.”

I have no idea what I’m feeling. No clue what is coursing through my veins, but it’s not blood anymore. The corners of my jaw tingle until my face starts going numb, my breathing shallow and chest tight.

“You okay?”

“I uh, I gotta go.”

Sarah calls after me but I let my name die in the breeze as I march back to the crowd. It’s nearly dark now, and finding Harry among all his people will take forever. I try to look for him, but I’m so distraught I can’t concentrate long enough to make out faces. I give up and head back to his car, only to find it’s locked. The asphalt is warm on my legs as I lower down to the ground, careless to the dirt I’m getting on my clothes and the scratches on my skin.

I’m not in this position for long. Not long enough, at least. Harry rounds the corner of the bushes, speeding up when he sees me.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

He moves to sit down beside me, but I jump up before he can.

“You’re a fucking liar.”

“Whoa! What!? What’s gotten into you lately?”

“I told you! What Tom said the other night!” I’m yelling, too loud for public, I know. But a small part of me wants someone to hear. I want to disrupt the bubble Harry lives in.

“And I told you that it was just nonsense.”

“And that’s why you’re a liar! Sarah just told me, that he said that to you after you and Camille broke up.”

“Okay...and?”

I inhale as deep as I can. It makes me dizzy, adds to my headache. “And, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? With the knowledge that the only reason you’re even with me, is because I’m gonna fuck you up so bad you’ll get songs out of it?

“Y/n,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “you’re taking this waaay too literally. Trust me.”

“You’re not in a position right now where I even want to trust you.”

“This has gotten completely out of control. I cannot believe you’re this upset over something so stupid.”

“Right there, Harry!” I point at him. “You keep dismissing how I feel! You don’t even care that this upsets me! That I feel like I need to reevaluate our entire relationship!”

“What is there to evaluate!? I haven’t even done anything! You’re blowing up about something that someone else said!”

“But you listened to him!”

“What,” he shrugs, “what do you want?”

“I don’t know what I want, Harry. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?” He pauses, swallowing. “Us?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, us. I can’t be with you if—if you’re just waiting around for me to ruin you emotionally.”

“You’re seriously gonna let someone else’s words do this to us? You’d break up with me because of something another person said?”

“Harry, if I break up with you it’s gonna be because of what you’ve done. I don’t care that he said it, I care that you agree to it. And quite frankly, it’s pretty insulting to Camille. You spent a part of your life with that girl, and you just capitalize off of it. I’m not gonna let you do that to me.”

“I’m not capitalizing off of anyone! What the hell am I supposed to write my songs about? I’m just supposed to not date then?”

“It’s the fact that you sought out a relationship in order to fuel your writing.”

“No, y/n, that’s not what I did.” He narrows his eyes at me, and even in the dark I can see his anger. “I sought you out because I was devastated after me and her broke up. You were only supposed to be a rebound.”

I feel like the wind’s been knocked out of me. The music overhead blurs into noise scraping my eardrum, my vision grows weak and foggy. He wanted to hurt me, and he did.

“I expect a thank you when you release your next album.” I spin on my heel and head towards the main road, yanking my phone from my pocket to call an uber. For the second time tonight, my name trails behind me in the wind. I can hear Harry’s steps pick up, and as fast as I walk, he still catches me.

“Y/n, please, let’s go back to the hotel. You can hate me and not talk to me, but please don’t leave.”

I ignore him, trying to set up my ride. “Where the hell are we?”

He glances at my phone, and I can tell he considers keeping the answer to himself, so he can keep me to himself. He drops his voice, much weaker than before. “Carbon Beach. Canyon road.”

Ten minutes.

“Y/n—”

“I am not interested in discussing this with you.”

“I’m so sorry. I—I was mad and was just trying to win the argument. Whichever way I could.”

“Congratulations on your win.”

“Y/n, please, honey. I don’t want to lose you.” He drags his hands down his face, keeping his palms dug into his eyes. When he lets them drop, there are tears spilling down his cheeks. “I can’t lie and say you weren’t, but yes you were a rebound for me, but that went away. Literally weeks after we started dating. I care about you so much. I wouldn’t drag you to every show and event I have if I didn’t. I’m so proud to call you mine. The last thing you are to me is—is just grounds for my writing.”

I stare out across the road. A jeep speeds by and the gush of wind it brings sends chills down my arms.

“Harry, I just...it’s a lot. You’re a lot. Your life is a lot.” I sigh and slowly turn to face him. “It feels like the significance of us being in each other’s lives are so different.”

He kicks a rock across the road, dust flying up around us. “Fuck. Y/n I’m begging—”

“They’re here.” I nod to the headlights approaching us.

“Baby, please.”

“I think I need to be alone right now.” I get in the backseat. “Enjoy your party.”

***

I text him when I’m back at the hotel, having nowhere else to go. I didn’t think my plan of leaving through, because he’ll come back here before the night’s over. But I’m hoping he’ll stay away for a bit, long enough for me to process everything at least.

Deep down I know there’s not as much to the comment as I thought. And Harry’s not that type of guy. But the lack of concern over my feelings...the fact that I was just used as a warm body while he got over Camille...that’s what hurts the most.

There’s a fine line between being sorry because you’ve been called out, and truly being sorry. How sorry can he be when he got what he wanted? Even if I’m not what he envisioned past a few quick fucks, he still comes out on top happy.

I feel like the lifestyle these people live is embedded with secret codes, all of which I’m not wired to pick up on. The money, the mistakes, the adoration... Everything is a lot, and playing catch up is nearly impossible.

I don’t get the alone time I’d wished for. There are curses and clicks of the doorknob right before Harry comes in. He stands at the entrance, staring at me on the lounge chair like he’s unsure if I’m real.

“Wasn’t sure you’d come back here.”

“Where else can I go?” I nod to his phone in his hand. “I texted you.”

“I was driving.”

I sigh, flinching when he turns the lights on. “I know you wanna talk, but I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to,” he says, dropping his keys on a table to come sit beside me. “I’ll talk though.” He inhales, holding his breath for a second before forcing the air out. “I know that me saying I’m sorry means shit to you right now. And to be honest, it probably is coming from me...in a way. You’re right about everything. And whatever you’re feeling, once you figure that out, you’re valid about that too.”

“How would you feel if you were only meant to be temporary in my life? You never mentioned why you were interested in me in the beginning. And no, I never would have gone out with you had I known. I would never want to be someone’s rebound. There’s just something sneaky about that.”

His head drops into his hands, and his shoulders shake right before I hear him cry. “I know, I—I get so caught up in myself sometimes. I’m such a fucking prick.” When he looks up, his eyes are burnt red, glassy and defeated. “I don’t deserve you, and I really don’t deserve anyone.”

“Harry,” I chastise, not expecting the downward spiral he’s ventured onto.

“I swear I care about you. I want you to be happy, and I want to make you happy. I don’t want to be the one to treat you this way. Ever.”

I inhale as deep as I can, holding my breath until it hurts. “I know.” I take his hand in mine. “And I know your heart, and I know you care about me. I—” I sigh, “I’m not comfortable with...just forgetting all of this though. I can forgive you, but I think we need to take a couple steps back. I’ve gotten so swept up in your life and your world, I’m losing my own.”

He nods slowly, accepting my words with a pained face.

“I care about you too.”

He looks up for the first time, catching the last few tears with the back of his hand. “I know you do.”

I offer a small smile and lean in to kiss his cheek. His eyes fall closed, and blindly he turns to press his lips to mine. Our kiss is salty and urgent.

“What did you say to everyone when you left?”

He frowns in thought, like the memory is too far away. “Nothing. Jumped in my car and prayed this is where you’d be.”

I take his hand and pull us both to our feet. “We should go to bed. It’s been a long night. Too long.”

We’re quiet and slow as we shed our clothes and brush our teeth, slipping into bed around two a.m.. Harry doesn’t waste a second in pulling me into his warm chest, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug that has me burying my face into his neck.

We lay there, silent, but when I know I don’t have much longer before sleep overcomes me, I kiss his shoulder, whispering how much I love him before I close my eyes.

[krappykawa]

ಌ i mildly like you more than like (p.1)

— in which an incessant fan girl, a kiss, and a little bit of denial makes oikawa tooru realize he might mildly like you more than like

description. you’ve been in love with oikawa tooru for longer than you can remember. having known him for the better part of nearly 11 years, you’ve come to accept that you’ll never be more than a best friend to him. but with the help of a few irritatingly persistent fangirls and a kiss that was only meant to drive them away, a tale of unrequited love might just prove to be something more. 

warnings. language

word count. 4.2k

oikawa tooru x f!reader, childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, some angst

parts. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

author’s note. i started writing this a few weeks ago and it was originally just going to be a one-shot but it got almost up to 10k words so i just decided to split it up HHSKFJ

Oikawa Tooru has perhaps one of the strongest drives when it comes to hard work. 

His tenacity is a thing of nature, something that awes you time and time again, no matter how many times you’ve seen him pick himself up before. It might be one of the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. 

But despite how in-tune he is with his senses on a mental standpoint, his Achilles’ heel lies with his inability to pick up on the signs his body gives him when it's had enough. Well, he can, but he just chooses not to listen. 

His first encounter with a crack in that heel came in his first-year, where you had to stand on the sidelines and watch as he fell to the ground during a game with a resounded sweep of gasps around the gym. That injury benched him for more than half the season. 

It was from that point on that you and Iwaizumi decided that if Oikawa wasn’t going to take care of his own body, then it would be up to you two to make sure his head is still above water. 

So it doesn’t surprise you when your phone flashes with a text message from Iwaizumi during one of your shifts at the bakery. 

1 new message: iwa (´,,•ω•,,)♡

Received: can you come pick up shittykawa

“Tooru?” 

A figure sits slumped against the benches in front of Aoba Johsai high, his eyes closed as he lays back. There’s something beautiful about the way that he looks almost ethereal in this relaxed state, the most relaxed you’d seen him in months. When he hears his name from your lips, he slowly blinks and sits up, the aura of relaxation falling from him. 

You almost regret having said anything in the first place when he puts up his guard the moment he sees you.

“Y/N-chan!” An easy smile falls between his lips, one that could’ve easily fooled anyone else. He always was very good at portraying happiness and contentment, especially when he’d been followed everywhere by people that only really want to see Oikawa Tooru, popular ladies’ man with charm that could make your mother swoon. 

But you’re one of the select few that knew him before he learned that his charm was a crucial asset in his arsenal. You knew him at his highs and his lows, so the convincing smile on his lips doesn’t convince you in the slightest. That’s because you notice the way his arms seem to sit limply in his lap and the way his eyes convey fatigue rather than joy. You also know that Iwaizumi called you here for one thing. 

“Don’t Y/N-chan me. Iwa texted me.” 

Oikawa’s facade seems to fall at that, replaced with a troubled expression. He brings his right hand up to wipe at his face in frustration. “Listen, I don’t know what he may have said, but he’s exaggerating. I’m fine.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. He can’t seem to meet your eyes. “Well, that’s a lie considering that you’re out here right now and not in that gym,” you say matter-of-factly. 

“He physically dragged me out here!” Oikawa whines, throwing his hands in the direction of your school’s gym. 

A bemused chuckle leaves your lips as you move to sit beside him on the bench. Oikawa moves his bag to give you more room to sit, but you don’t move any closer. “And when has that ever stopped you?”

Oikawa getting kicked out of practice by Iwaizumi and even on select days, by their coach, is not an unusual occurrence. Iwaizumi has forcefully dragged Oikawa out of the gym before. Each and every time, Oikawa just marched right back in, despite Iwaizumi’s rage and his coach’s warnings. Even when his extra practice hours cause detrimental effects to his knee, Oikawa never seems to back down. 

It was something both you and Iwaizumi had grown used to in your years of friendship with Oikawa -- his incredibly stubborn determination to somehow work himself to the point of bad health. 

That’s how you know something different has happened today, because Oikawa is sitting out here on a bench rather than arguing with Iwa about how “a few more serves won’t hurt him!” (though they most definitely do, and Oikawa never seems to learn). 

You turn your head to look at him. He’s quiet now, though he still doesn’t meet your eyes. His gaze is instead focused on a dog that’s running in the park opposite the school. You know that he’s avoiding confirming your accusation. 

When it doesn’t seem like he’s going to talk anytime soon, you sigh. “All I’m saying is that if you really believed that you were fine, you would be using all your blood, sweat, tears in order to find a way back into the gym. Especially since the qualifiers are coming up.” You lean back against the bench as well, letting your eyes watch the dog happily run with its tongue lolling out of its mouth. “But instead you’re here, sitting on a bench in the afternoon. And from the looks of it, you had no intention of heading home.” 

He still doesn’t turn to look at you, the only indication that he even heard you is the mild tick in his jaw. You try not to think about how perfectly sculpted his side profile is.  

When he finally does speak, he still avoids your accusation of his fatigue and instead asks, “Why did Iwa-chan call you here anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be working at the bakery?”

You shrug. “Business was slow. Besides, my boss likes me enough to let me go early today. He said I’d have to work overtime this weekend though.” 

At that, he finally turns to look at you. In the split second that you glance at him, you catch the guilt in his gaze before he looks away again. “You shouldn’t have come. You already overwork yourself being the only decent baker besides your boss that works there.”

A smile spreads on your face, your tone teasing. “Oikawa Tooru wants to talk to me about overworking myself?”

“I’m serious. You work too hard at that bakery for the measly amount that they pay you. Don’t think I don’t notice the way you try to cover your under eye circles with makeup.”

You feel your stomach jump, the familiar feeling causing your lips to tug upwards lightly. Tooru has been one of your best friends ever since you moved into the house across from his when you were seven years old. You hadn’t known when it happened, but you had come to school one day last year and just suddenly knew that your feelings were no longer limited to platonic when it came to the brown-haired volleyball captain. It’s in moments like these where you wonder how he hasn’t managed to figure your feelings out, considering how observant he is of everything else about you. 

“Yes, well I’m sorry that we can’t all look like we spawn from a god like you do. It’s seriously unfair how you can still look like that when you get even less sleep than I do.”

There’s only a hint of teasing in his voice when he says, “You think I look that handsome?” He turns to face you again, and this time there’s a blink of surprise lurking in his chestnut eyes. Especially now, with the sun casting golden glows on his hair and skin, he looks beautiful to you. 

Painfully, it reminds you about how unrequited your feelings are. Not that Oikawa has ever outright rejected you or even acknowledged knowing anything of your feelings, but him reciprocating your feelings didn’t even cross your mind as a possibility most days. Not with the group of girls that are always vying for his attention; not when his ex-girlfriend was what everyone thought was his perfect match; not when he hadn’t even attempted a committed relationship since Yua-san broke up with him all those months ago.

“Y/N?” His voice drags you out of your train of thought. You realize that you had been staring at him this entire time. 

You play off your thoughts with a roll of your eyes and turn your head back towards the park. “No,” you lie. “I just hear comments like that from your fan club all the time.” 

He nods lightly, his eyebrows creasing. “Right. Right, of course.” You’re about to ask about the odd tone in his voice when he speaks again. “You never did answer my question. Why did Iwa-chan send you here?”

“He wanted me to make sure that you actually went home instead of finding somewhere else to practice,” you say. A chuckle escapes your lips. You’re happy for the change in topic. 

“I am not that hard-headed!” You raise a brow at him. He pouts. “Fine. Maybe a little.”

“A little?”

“Oh come on, Y/N. Now you’re just being mean!”

“Yeah well, it’s payback. You’re a real pain in the ass.”

“In your ass, I hope.” 

You try to keep the blush from your cheeks as your mind takes you in a completely different direction. Suddenly, the space between you two seems too small. “You might want to rethink what you just said.” You try not to stare at his mouth as it falls open, your mind still invading your thoughts with images that you should not be fantasizing about when he’s sitting right beside you. 

“Wait.” Oikawa’s eyes go so comically wide that you almost forget your own embarrassment. “Jeez, that did not come out in the right way. Not right at all.” For what seems like the millionth time, he looks away from you, though this time it seems to be out of his own mortification over what he just said. There seems to be a blush to his cheeks, but you very well might have just imagined it. 

You let out a laugh, your arms coming up to clutch at your side. “I cannot believe that you’re supposed to be the big hotshot volleyball player that every girl has a crush on. There is not a charming bone in your body. I refuse to believe it.”

Oikawa lets out a small chuckle. “I don’t have to charm you when you already love even the uncharming parts of me. But if anyone asks, I am completely perfect. There are no uncharming parts to Oikawa Tooru. Don’t you dare spread false rumors, Y/N-chan!”

An amused snort leaves you at his last three sentences, but you decide to respond on the first part of his words. “Me? Loving you? Very unlikely.” You tease, trying your hardest to keep a straight face when Oikawa begins to pout. 

“If you don’t love me after all these years I will actually start crying right now and then those girls that follow me everywhere will come for your blood for making me cry.”

You chuckle again, catching yourself before you roll your eyes again. Next to you, Oikawa has his arms crossed with a convincing pout sitting on his lips that makes him look like a child. You smile despite yourself. “Okay, okay keep the dramatics to a minimum.”

“Then say it.”

“Say what?

“Say that you love me.”

You feel a small pang as you plaster a smile on your face. “I mildly like you more than like,” you say, not really sure if you’d be able to say those three words to him at this point in time. Not when you know that they’re true.

Oikawa’s pout deepens, but you’re adamant on not saying more. 

“That’s all you’re getting from me, Crappykawa.” Suddenly you find yourself amused at the way you managed to sound exactly like Iwaizumi. It hadn’t occurred to you that you’d spent so much time with him.

“Call me pretty and I’ll drop it.”

“You’re so needy sometimes, you know that?”

“Very much aware, Y/N-chan. As if you and Iwa-chan would ever let me forget.”

An eye roll comes easy to you and this time you don’t try to stop it. At this point, an eye roll is almost like a natural reaction to anything Oikawa says. “Fine. I’ll admit you’re not bad too look at.”

“Not great, but I’ll take it,” he concludes. “I can slowly feel the crack in my ego being restored.”

“If you want to be complimented please go seek out the never-ending stream of girls and guys that come your way hoping for even an ounce of your attention.” You hope that he doesn’t notice the mild bitterness in your voice. “I’m almost positive that they’ll be willing to tell you just how pretty you are and how everyone in the world should be in love with you.”

“They should be, shouldn’t they?” Oikawa bemuses.

A laugh leaves your lips despite your efforts. “You are insufferable sometimes. I don’t understand why I’ve kept you around for so long.”

“There you go with the insults again,” he tskes. “Have you and Iwa-chan been spending time together without me?” 

“Iwa and I are friends you know?”

“Yeah but you’re supposed to be my best friend,” he pouts. 

“You already said that line to Iwaizumi yesterday when he opted to carry me instead of you.”

“Yeah, well … I met you before he did!”

“Because you threw a volleyball at my head!”

“It was an accident!”

Laugher spills from both of your lips at the memory. It isn’t until Oikawa’s hair brushes upon your shoulder during his laughter that you realize that the space between you and Oikawa had increasingly gotten smaller. He’s so close that your thighs are only centimeters apart. 

As your laughter dies down, Oikawa’s bubbly personality begins to slip once more and the fatigue on his face becomes more evident. Eventually, he rests his head on your shoulder. You feel your stomach flutter pleasantly at his proximity. Even now, you can smell the cologne he regularly wears, the one you helped pick out back in first-year that he’s worn ever since. 

Once the silence lasts for a few moments, you finally attempt to ask him about practice once more. “Are you finally going to tell me why you didn’t fight back when Iwa threw you out of practice?” 

He sighs. “I guess you can say that I’m a little bit tired. Plus my knee hurts like all hell has reigned down.” His voice is so much different from just moments before that it’s hard to believe that they come from the same person. 

“You’re exhausted,” you say. It’s not a question, but more of a definite statement. 

“More or less,” he responds quietly. 

This time, it’s you that sighs. “Just … be careful. I get that you want to beat everyone and go to Nationals, but you’re no good to your team if you fuck your knee up so badly that you can’t play.”

“This year is our last chance,” he mumbles. “I just don’t want to look back later and wish that maybe I’d practiced just a little more.”

“You can’t beat anyone if you’re sitting on the bench from an injury that you got from overworking yourself.”

Oikawa winces at the tone in your voice. You almost feel guilty. Almost. 

“You’re going to work yourself to death. Iwaizumi and I aren’t just going to stand by and watch you dig your own grave,” you say softly. “For his sake, at least. Don’t push yourself too hard.”

“I’ll try,” he says. For some reason, you believe him.

The two of you sit there in silence once more, the wind blowing lightly on your hair and the sounds of a busy town echoing around you. You wish that you could bottle this moment up and keep it with you forever, even if it’s only a testament to how much Oikawa values you as a best friend and nothing more. 

The thought makes your stomach drop in the slightest bit. It’s usually easy to contain your depth of feelings for Oikawa when the air around you two is lively and joking, but you’ve found over the years that quiet moments like these are the ones that really tear at your heart. 

He’ll never know the extent of your feelings for him, and you’re too afraid to wonder what would happen if he did know. 

Oikawa turns his head only slightly to look up at you while still continuing to lean on your shoulder. “You okay?” 

You give an almost imperceptible nod. “We should head home. I don’t know what Iwaizumi might do to you if he finds you out here after practice ends,” you say. 

Oikawa nods and detaches his head from your shoulder. 

The two of you have only walked a couple of meters when you hear a group of girls squeal from not too far away. Oikawa tenses from beside you. 

“Your fanclub found you,” you say.

“I’m aware.”

He doesn’t make any move to look back at them or stop. Instead, his pace seems to speed up. 

You furrow a brow. “You don’t want to talk to them? Thought you loved their attention?”

“Ouch. You really know how to wound a man, Y/N-chan,” he says with a small smile on his lips. You take notice of the weariness in his features. “But while I do enjoy them feeding my very justified ego, I am far too fatigued to deal with them.”

You nod and continue to walk beside him. The less interactions he has with his fan club, the better your mood will be. Besides, you weren’t going to fail Iwaizumi by not doing the one thing he asked you to do and not take Oikawa home. 

A giggle reaches your ears once more, and you sneak a glance behind you. The girls are talking amongst themselves, but still obviously walking in the direction you’re headed in. 

“Well, what do you wanna do? Cause they’re coming.”

Oikawa sighs and you notice a tick of irritation in his clenched jaw. You can see a million thoughts going through his mind, but before you can ask him about them, he reaches out to grab your hand.

“Is this okay? I’m just hoping that they’ll leave me alone if they think that you and I … uhm.”

Oikawa’s hands are long and calloused, but they feel nice as his fingers intertwine with your smaller ones. You try hard not to let the little gesture get to you. “Yeah … yeah of course.”

The two of you fall into silence again, mostly due to his fatigue and your inability to form coherent words that don’t have to do with his hand in yours. You’ve held hands with Oikawa before, but it was never with the intent to make you two look like a couple. You wish more than anything that he would break the silence before you blurt out something that you don’t want to. 

Your wishes are answered when Oikawa asks, “They’re still following us, aren’t they?” Oikawa still doesn’t look back as he says it.

In your short reverie you had forgotten about the girls behind you. You sneak another glance at them and find that Oikawa’s assumption is correct.

“Yeah, they are.”

Oikawa makes an incoherent noise. “Y/N-chan, could you be a dear and describe what they look like? I have a feeling I know who exactly they are.”

You turn back again, and really take a good look at them. They’re pretty. Really pretty, you think. You wonder for a second what they could’ve done to make Oikawa so adamant on not speaking with them. 

“There’s three girls. One with cropped red hair, one with long blonde hair, and one with brown hair in a high ponytail.”

“Oh, it’s them again. I don’t know what to do to get them to leave me alone at this point,” he sighs. 

“Who are they? What’s going on?”

His grip on your hand tightens. “Ichika-san and her friends. She sent me a love letter about a month ago. I tried to let her down easily, but it seems that she has yet to give up.”

“This girl is your stalker?”

“Not quite. At least, I hope not.”

The noise from behind you two gets increasingly louder. A giggle echoes on the mildly empty street and you catch Oikawa’s name being whispered between their conversations. Now that you’ve found out about what they’ve been putting him through, your annoyance spikes. 

“Not to sound paranoid or anything, but I’m not keen on these girls finding out where you live.” 

Oikawa is quiet for a moment, his brows furrowed in indecision. It seems that he makes up his mind when he turns his head to look at you. “Kiss me.”

Your step momentarily falters. 

“What?”

He shakes your intertwined hands. “We’re already holding hands. They might get the memo if we …”

“Oh.”

“I .. I mean only if you want to. You don’t have to. I just figured that .. nevermind. It’s a spotty plan. They might still not leave us alone and --”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll do it.” You weren’t going to pass up a chance at kissing him, even if it’s only for a diversion. This doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anyways — you’d long since given up on him reciprocating your feelings, and this way you can kiss him while saving yourself from the possible embarrassment of rejection. 

“You will?”

“Where’s the harm? It’s just a kiss right?” You can barely hear yourself talking over the beating of your heart. “Besides, it could work.”

Oikawa shoots you a grateful smile. “Okay. Whenever you’re ready then.”

You try to shake out your nerves and instead focus your time in looking at your surroundings. The sound of giggling is still in close range when you spot a tree nearby. It’s still pretty out in the open, but not so much that you and Oikawa might draw stares, at least not from anyone that isn’t a part of the group of girls behind you. 

Gathering enough courage to not insanely mess this up, you tug on Oikawa’s hand to drag him with you in the direction of the tree. You make sure that you’re still in the line of sight of the three girls when you snake your arms around Oikawa’s neck and pull him down. 

His lips are softer than you imagined, and you’ve imagined kissing them more times than you’re willing to admit. Pleasantly, he tastes like oranges, which you don’t quite understand, considering that you can’t seem to remember him ever being fond of oranges. But then again, you can’t quite think of anything besides the feeling of his lips on yours.

Your lips move fluidly against his, soft but not entirely without passion. It takes everything in you to not kiss him with the force that you want to be kissing him with. 

Hands come down to grip your waist as he pulls you closer to him, gently placing a hand on the small of your back. You run your hands through his hair and wonder to yourself why you hadn’t ever played with his hair before. If you ever make it out of this with your senses still intact, you’d make playing with his hair a part of your regular routine.

He makes a small noise against your lips when you make the mistake of pulling a little too hard on his hair. His grip on you tightens. 

You don’t know how long you two stand there, lips locked with each other, but Oikawa doesn’t make any move to pull away. Instead he deepens the kiss by running his tongue against your bottom lip and pulling you even closer. You stifle a noise that threatens to come from deep in your throat. One of his hands comes up to cup your cheek and tips your head so that he can slip his tongue into your mouth. He has fantastic lips, you think. 

It’s only until you feel the air in your lungs begin to dwindle that you force yourself to pull away. The kiss lasted for longer than you expected, and by the way you pant with every breath, it feels like a kiss that the rest of the world should not have been privy to. 

You keep your eyes closed for a moment more, wanting to savor the moment for just a little longer. The moment you open your eyes, you’ll have to come back to the reality that this was just a one-time thing. You’ll have to come back to reality and remember that this kiss likely doesn’t mean anything to him. 

Slowly you open your eyes, and find that Oikawa’s already staring at you intently. His breathing comes out staggered, and his eyes have turned a few shades darker. What used to be a soft chestnut brown looks almost close to black. In them, you notice a flicker of an odd emotion that looks too familiar, but you don’t want to hope for anything. 

You slide your hands down to his chest. His hands are still planted on your back and face, touching you both gently and carefully. “Did it work?” Your voice comes out small.

He seems to wake up from his trance then, and turns to look in the direction that the girls were before. You look behind you to see one of the girls running away with her head in her hands. Her two friends follow after her in an attempt to console her.

“I think it did,” he says. And what he says after is so quiet you almost believe that you imagine hearing it. “In more ways than one.”

part two will most likely be up on thursday next week :)

[lubdubsworld]

Change of Heart

Pairing : Taehyung x OC

[ Summary :

Times are changing.

After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all…..

He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.  ]

Pairing : Taehyung x OC

Genre : Romance, Explicit Content.

Warnings : None. ( Some mild violence but mostly off screen )

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

Chapter 4

The Preserve had originally been an isolated island about 50 miles off the coast of the mainland.  Over the decades, the land had been expanded with man made floats serving to support the extra buildings and complexes that cropped up to cater to the small human population that stuck around to help out. 

The wolves still kept to the interiors, most of them having built huge cottage-villas which could house the entire pack, territories marked out clearly to avoid disputes. A few of the very traditional ones lived on the huge mountains that lined the northern end, opting to stay in their wolf-forms most of the time. 

The island itself was beautiful, rich vegetation , a thriving fauna and a landscape that was lined with beautifully stark cliffs up high and private little coves and beaches scattered below. 

Taehyung and his daughter lived on a beautiful beach side villa, which had its own vegetable garden , a staff of over 8 to take care of everything, a private jetty for trips to the mainland and a helipad/ airstrip. 

True to his word, Taehyung did not stay around most days. He was busy with his campaign and I spent the first week recovering. The doctor visited everyday and by the end of the week, most of the internal injuries were healing well, the pain well managed with meds.

Luna had moved into my room, pretty much and I spent the days with her curled into my side, reading from her favorite books, stopping when she encountered a particularly difficult word, ebony eyes turning to mine for help. We read countless books, and she introduced me to all her best friends : Mr. Ted the bear, Kihyun the bunny and Momo the panda. The stuffed animals had a small baby carrier of their own and she liked carting them all around the house. 

“She was really pretty. Mama....” Luna whispered one night, as we lay curled on the window seat in my room, a fur throw covering us up as we stared out into the rocky beach far below. 

I felt my heart lurch in shared grief. 

“Was she? What else do you remember about her....?” I asked softly.

“Her scent. “ Luna said quickly. “ She smelled just like you. Like home and fresh cookies with sugar sprinkles. And rainy puddles you can jump in.” 

I bit my lips, mindful that Luna was just listing her favorite things. I didn’t know much about how weres scented other weres or humans. But i supposed it made sense that her mother’s scent should remind her of things that offered her comfort and joy. 

But her next words threw me for a loop. 

“Daddy didn’t like her much....” She said suddenly and I felt my throat close up . 

“Oh-Oh?” I was genuinely shocked. Taehyung had looked devastated when he had told me about his wife’s passing.... 

Luna shook her head. 

“My friend from school, Mina? Her mommy’s still alive and her daddy likes her. They kiss and stay in the same room. Mommy and Daddy never kissed. Mommy lived on the east wing.... That’s on the other side. Near the rose gardens.”

I bit my lips, feeling incredibly guilty for some reason. This information felt somehow private and not for stranger’s ears. I didn’t want Luna to get into trouble for saying this to me . 

“I miss her sometimes. I’m glad you’re here.” She sniffled and i felt my heart crack in two. The girl was replacing her mom with me, I thought miserably. I couldn’t in good conscience let this happen. 

But as the days stretched into weeks, with Taehyung out and busy most of the time, i couldn’t bring myself to leave. Luna did appear to be calmer, more grounded and happier with me around. She liked staying close to me, at touching distance and she often buried her nose into my neck, sniffing till I had to gently pry her off. 

Although, absent physically, Taehyung called every day. He facetimed his daughter twice at least and I got a call every night at exactly nine. It was usually curt and formal but he did tell me what he was upto.

“The elections are coming up soon.... I need to work a bit more on the immediate reforms we’re planning to launch...I won’t be available this week, Luna’s keeping well?” 

“Yes, she is. We made a modern recreation of red riding hood and the wolf today with play dough.” 

Silence.

“Interesting choice of fairy tale, Mi Rae ssi...” He drawled. 

I flushed at how my name sounded in that voice.

“It’s a bit different plot wise. In this case, the granny is just a meanie who likes to order Red about and the wolf is the one who rescues her.” I grinned.

He chuckled amicably.

“Bit of a stretch , that. But I’m glad you’re happy. I didn’t want to pressure you too much and i know its asking way too much of you . But Ms. Lee says that Luna is happier than she’s ever been and I do believe you’re the one I have to thank for that. “

I bit my lips. I wanted to tell him that Luna was getting way too attached. That I was afraid of what would happen when it was time for me to leave, but already i could hear voices in the background, people calling for his attention and I remembered that he was doing something important.

 He was trying to build a better world for his little girl. 

In the long run, all of this would be for Luna’s benefit only. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

it had been nearly a month since I’d last seen Taehyung . A whole three months since I’d moved into his villa. My paycheck as a nanny was three times what I was paid as a lab tech. But I hadn’t stopped working at the research facility either. I spent the days there, when Luna was busy with her school work . The vaccine had been successful but somehow, my father’s company had pulled some sort of nonsense with the patenting and not everyone had got the shorts. 

I stared out into the murky blue waters as they crashed into the jagged black rocks that lined the private beach. The huge bay windows in the living space offered an unfettered view of the rocky beach. 

Next to me, Luna was pretty much bouncing around, trying to find all her beach day toys. I watched her fondly, feeling something squeeze my heart when I thought about not seeing her again. The elections were done, the results were due any day now and Taehyung had already told me that he was looking to end this arrangement soon. 

Luna had a mind like no other. A vibrantly curious child with the most incredible questions, it was clear that she adored her father more than anything else in the world. In the evenings, she liked to play near the small water inlet that fed into the Ocean. The water was shallow, barely an inch or so deep, the terrain covered in small smooth pebbles in every shade of brown of grey.  

Luna and I  spent most of the weekends exploring the small beach around the villa, foraging around in the coves while her caregiver watched me covertly from a distance. She clearly didn’t trust me much, but I tried not to let it get to me.

I wasn’t here to stay. Taehyung had sent me a mail the previous week, letting me know that I was no longer had to babysit, because he was planning to move to Seoul himself. He would be renting out a condominium there and hiring a full time nanny. 

And that was fine. it wasn’t like i hadn’t seen that coming. I had a life of my own and i had to get back to it. My cottage near the research facility was fixed now and I was looking forward to getting back to my life, no matter how much it hurt to leave Luna behind. 

 I was a little upset that he had sent an impersonal mail to me instead of talking to me in person. Or maybe spoken about it over the phone at least. But I knew that he was just trying to make it easier for me to cut all ties. 

Okay, fine, maybe I was a little bit bitter that Taehyung hadn’t even offered to hire me to take care of Luna .  I wasn’t qualified , yes, but so far Luna had been a dream to stay with. She was so inquisitive and bright, so full of sunshine and happiness. 

After three months of her unconditional love for me,  the idea of not coming home to her vibrant laugh and endless giggles, it just felt so painful. 

“Rae Rae, let’s gooooo....” Her voice broke me out of my thoughts . Despite endless protests from Ms. Lee, Luna insisted on calling me Rae Rae and I found it adorable. 

I jumped a little, hastily moving to grab the sunscreen, the hat and gloves. While Luna did heal quickly courtesy her wolf-y genes, she was also incredibly prone to sunburn. The first few times, she had promptly shifted into her wolf form when i tried to put it on her, snipping my fingers angrily. The chemical was supposed to be unscented but her sensitive nose had clearly picked it up anyway. 

It took a lot of bribing with delicious meat patties and steak bites, for the girl to shift back and let me apply it on her.

But now she was comfortable with letting me apply it on her when we went to the beach. 

She picked up her backpack, a baby blue fur lined affair with twin bunny ears near the handle , and the small tote bag full of her collection of seashells and skipped out of the room happily. I finished packing the rest of her beach stuff : towels, napkins, hair pins and a change of clothes just in case. 

We were just climbing down the huge stairwell, when Taehyung’s voice rang through the foyer, startling me badly. i hadn’t seen him in a long time and against my better judgement I almost half ran back to put some make up on at least. I probably looked like an ogre with smeared sunscreen and my hair uncombed and in a bun. 

“Lu - Lu? Baby???” He called out, his deep voice pretty much reverberating off the walls .

“DAAAADAAAAAA” 

I watched her almost tumble headlong the stairs in her rush to get into her father’s arms and I hung back, letting them have their reunion. 

I waited till Taehyung called out for me, before moving to greet him as well. 

The first thing that stuck me was how incredibly handsome he looked, hair now fully black, swept straight back from his forehead. He was dressed in skinny jeans and a loose black shirt, buttons undone to show the lines of his pecs and a pair of dangly earrings caught the light as he turned to stare at me. 

“Mi Rae ssi....i see you’re all ready for Beach day?” He grinned softly.

There was something radiant about him, a definite lack of anxiety. He looked relaxed almost.

“You won?” i blurted out. “ You won didn’t you?”

Taehyung’s eyes glinted .

“Its not officially announced yet, but yes, the Commission called me today . They think I���ve won by a landslide.

Before I could rethink my impulse, I flung myself into his arms, genuinely thrilled beyond belief.

“RThat’s so incredible, Taehyung ssi...i’m so happy for you and-”

“Tae? Should I get the other suitcase?” 

The female voice made me jolt, and I pulled away, arm still arapped around his neck, intensely aware of his hands on my waist.

Three feet away from us , stood an incredibly beautiful young woman. She was almost as tall as Tae, probably the same age as him and her eyes flashed red when she looked at me. 

I flinched, stepping back like i’d been scalded.

“Just leave it sweetheart, one of my men will get it. Come meet my little girl.” Taehyung said casually, shooting me one brief intense look of.....anger? annoyance? I couldn’t figure it out.

 Sweetheart? did he just call her-

Luna had shuffled to hide behind my legs now, her fingers gripping my waist as she refused to greet the newcomer.

“Luna, this is Ms Jihyun. She’s a very good friend of mine.”

Jihyun dropped to her knees, eyes flashing red again as she smiled a tight lipped smile.

“Hello, Luna. How are you doing?” She said seriously. Luna’s grip on me tightened.

“She’s a little shy.” I choked out, trying to tamp down the rising sense of heartbreak. No. i had actively fought against feeling this way. Every night here, I had told myself that I would not think about Kim Taehyung. Admiring him for what he did , for how hard he worked for his kind....that was one thing ....but this. This was madness. 

Taehyung reached out around me to lift Luna up into her arms. 

“How about we go to the beach with Jihyun and Ms Lee today?” He said casually, holding his hand out to me.

I almost did something stupid, like press my hand into his before realizing that he was asking for the bag i had over my shoulders. Wordlessly, I handed it over. 

“I want to go with Rae Rae....” Luna said sharply, lips jutting out in a petulant little pout.  

“Well, Appa and Ms. Rae need to talk about something and once we’re done, I’ll join you there okay?” He ruffled her hair softly and then gently placed her back down. 

Luna gave me an imploring look.

“Are you leaving me?” Her lips wobbled.

I shook my head instinctively.

“Of course not baby, I’ll be right there. Just a few minutes, okay? Don't forget your sunscreen.” I smiled and Luna pouted again but moved to Ms. Lee’s side hesitantly. 

Taehyung waited till the three of them began leaving before turning to me. 

“Thank you.” He said quietly , gaze moving to me with the same intensity, and this time I knew what he was doing. He was trying to gauge what I was thinking and I remembered, weakly that Alpha wolves could sometimes sense moods, changes in a person’s body temperatures and things like that. It wasn’t like mind reading or anything but a perceptive enough werewolf could definitely guess what kind of mood someone was in.

I fought to keep my face neutral. There wasn’t much I could do about how clammy and cold my entire body had gone after meeting Jihyun. It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to guess why I didn’t l;ike Jihyun there.

“It’s not you.” He said gently.

I swallowed.

“Sorry?”

“You’re beautiful. If we were.... the same kind of people.....I wouldn’t be saying this. But because of who we are.... I’m going to say it. It’s not a good idea.” He whispered.

I flushed, feeling like my entire body had been dipped in ice cold water.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said evenly.

He hummed.

“If you leave today, there’s a job waiting for you in the Research Center. It’s a level up from what you’re doing right now. I’ve asked them to put up extra security around your cabin and I’ve talked with the wolves here. No one will come anywhere near you. “ 

I nodded bleakly.

“Thank you.” I said quietly. 

“You’re going to forget me and Luna in a few weeks. And I would rather that things end now, before Luna becomes more attached.”

I nodded.

“Can i talk to her before I leave?” I asked softly.

He hesitated. 

“I don’t.... I mean, I would rather not have Jihyun be present for that. She’s.... well she’s someone I’m getting to know and she may feel -”

I wanted to kick myself in the face for ever having agreed to this whole thing.

“I understand. I’ll be back tomorrow morning to get the rest of my stuff and to say goodbye to Luna.” I said shortly. 

Before he could reply, I brushed past him and ran up to my room. I had to get out of here as soon as I could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luna cried inconsolably and I was eternally grateful that no one else was there when I carefully unpacked the huge carton of snacks and toys , I’d packed for her. Taehyung had made things a little easier, by telling Luna that it wasn’t me who was leaving but it would be them. They were going to a new place so they would be leaving me behind because I had stuff to do here. 

“I’m not going to be gone completely. I’m going to come visit you as often as I can alright and look....” I pulled out the small phone I’d brought her.

She stopped sniffling and held her hand out. I placed the flip phone in her hands.

“Theres just two numbers there. See the picture of the wolf? Thats daddy..... And see the one with the flower.....that’s me. If you want to talk to either of us, all you need to do is press this button.”

Luna hesitated.

“Daddy said, I can’t have any phones.” She said hesitantly. What a wonderful child, i thought fondly.

“Yes, but this isn’t the kind of phone that could hurt your eyes. It’s just a talking phone. Besides, your daddy already knows and he’s okay with it.” I smiled. 

She nodded, turning the little device over and over in her hands.

“Daddy say’s we’re going to the city. Why don’t you want to come?” She said angrily and i sighed.

“Its not that I don’t want to come, baby. It’s just that my home is here. I help take care of the little pups here remember? Some of them get sick and I help make them better....” I smiled, ruffling her hair. 

She nodded.

“Good girl...Now how about we go see the sandcastle you built yesterday...? See if it’s still there?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life went on and I found myself busy enough to not dwell on Taehyung too much. The vaccines were rolling out much faster now and most of the cases were milder . i spent the days in the research center and went home to my cozy cabin. Taehyung had been true to his word an an electric fence ran around the perimeter , twelve feet tall . A security guard stayed near the gate at all times, a beta werewolf named Minjun. 

Two weeks after Taehyung had moved out of the island, a distraction arrived in the form of one Jeon Jungkook . He was a year younger than me and finishing his internship before becoming a radiologist. He was smart , handsome and an alpha wolf with a deceptively cute bunny like smile.

Jungkook liked following me around when we had free time and I found his incessant noona , noona...endearing. But I was also not an idiot. 

Jungkook was looking for a fuck buddy and I was convenient. The only female in the research center. Werewolves didn’t do one night stands with each other, because being intimate always left a scent and it would make things messy. So weres  generally went to humans for no strings attached sex. 

It wasn’t that I minded , but a part of me was terrified i would do something stupid. Like call him Taehyung in the middle of us fucking. 

But of course, stupid decisions were my forte. 

So I did end up sleeping with him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, you look miserable.” Jimin commented mildly, as I stumbled forward to the counter. I hadn’t slept much the previous night and had nearly missed the ferry to the mainland in the morning.

“I’m fine oppa. Just frazzled. Give me something strong but sweet...” I begged, riffling through my bag for my wallet. Outside, the rain poured in torrents. I was still dripping water from my hair and my jacket, although I’d been out of the rain for a whole five minutes. 

“Taehyung’s been asking about you....Why don’t you pick his calls?” Jimin said casually and I flinched. 

“I did pick his calls. a couple of times....” I muttered . 

That had been a whole experience. Taehyung had called me two weeks back, frothing at the mouth about something. 

Apparently, Ji Hyun the lovely girlfriend that Kim Taehyung like flaunting all over town, was also the older sister on one Jeon Jungkook. And because we had had sex the previous night, Jungkook had smelled like me when he visited Taehyung and Ji hyun. Even Luna had picked up on the scent.

How on earth was i supposed to know? 

Taehyung had been so furious that I’d hung up the phone midway through. 

“And, what happened?”

I shrugged.

“And then I got busy. Why? I’ve been talking to Luna... I even met her a couple of times. It’s not like I have any other reason to talk to him.... “ I protested.

Jimin hummed.

“He’s still seeing that model. Jeon Ji hyun? I heard her brother works in the Research center?” Jimin raised an eyebrow, sliding my drink across the counter. I stepped out of the line but stayed near the counter, staring at him. Damn it. Had Taehyung actually told Jimin about it? 

“Jungkook? Yeah. He’s a doctor... He’s doing his MD , radiology and he’s here for exposure , apparently...”

“Alpha?” Jimin continued flitting about, making orders but his tone held a note of sympathy. 

I shrugged.

“Yeah, he is. But we don’t talk much. We went out one night but then he’s been aloof ever since.” I shrugged again hoping that Jimin was buying my nonchalant act. i still didn’t know how much he knew. 

Jungkook was a nice guy and I was a little peeved that he didn’t seem to want anything more than a friends with benefits thing. But that had less to do with him and more to do with the fact that men, in general, never seemed to consider me as a potential girlfriend. 

But then, the poor guy was in probably the most crucial part of his education. Relationships were probably the farthest thing from his mind. 

Jimin stopped when the last customer in the line left. He stared at me. 

“Taehyung told me Luna called you one morning and Jungkook picked the phone.” 

I froze.

“What?!” I hissed, completely thrown. This, I hadn’t known. 

“You went out? With Jungkook?  And he stayed over , I’m guessing....I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you guys did not play Jenga all night?” He glared at me. I flushed.

“Fine. We slept together. We are sleeping together....its just consensual sex between two willing parties,  . It’s no big deal.” I said flippantly.

“You don’t think that’s why Taehyung has been calling you? That’s his potential brother in law right there. It’s too messy. I think you should stop. ” He frowned. 

I rolled my eyes.

“Listen it has nothing to do with me. I’m not going to marry Jungkook okay? I’m not going to be calling Taehyung my brother in law either. Its not going to happen. i just had this...stupid king of crush on him and he knew about it. He turned me down too, did he tell you that. He told me him and I were too different.... meaning I wasn’t a were so he wouldn’t consider being with someone like me. ”

Jimin groaned. 

“you know why he feels that way. Don’t make this about you. It’s not personal.”

“Then why is it spilling into my personal life? I have no obligation to him. I can sleep with who I want.....”

Jimin rolled his eyes.

“Taehyung’s a were. He’s not going to see it that way.” 

“Well, I don’t give a damn how he sees it, I’m having sex with a handsome young man who is attracted to me. That’s a good time, right there and I’m not going to stop having a good time just because it offends Taehyung’s delicate sensibilities.” I snapped. 

Jimin shrugged.

“Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I went back to my cabin that evening, I found Minjun missing from his usual place near the gate. The gate was still locked so I didn’t think too much about it, merely slotting the rusty old key into the huge lock and prying it open. 

I made my way to the door, opening it carefully. 

i nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw who was there. 

“what the- Seo Joon?” I said in disbelief, stumbling back when the tall alpha stumbled to his feet from where he was lounging on the couch. 

“Well, look who’s here....if it isn’t the slutty little bitch who wants to sleep her way through every were on the island....First Taehyung and now Jungkook.....you sure know who to pick, huh.....? All powerful, influential wolves..... “ He slurred.

I stared at him. This wasn’t good. I turned on my heel, ready to run back out but he was faster than me. I groaned when he slammed into my back pinning me to the door with so much force that the wood splintered,. 

While my bruised ribs had healed, they still hurt a bit. And the force of his actions left my mind reeling from the pain. 

“Get off me!! “ I screamed, “ MINJUN!!!!! MINJUN HELP!!!” 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WHORING BITCH!!!”

He slapped me right across the face, the strength of it sending me crashing into the side table. I whimpered as I tried to get on my feet, fingers fumbling for my phone .

“it was you wasn’t it? I was supposed to be the deputy minister.... Taehyung’s supposed to be my fucking friend. instead i got fired like some lowly runt ...... It was you wasn’t it? you convinced him that humans are our fucking friends....” 

I shook my head, frantic.

“No...i swear I’ve not spoken to Taehyung...i didn’t say anything... Seo Joon please don’t...” I screamed when he reached down and grabbed my hair, yanking me to my feet till my scalp felt like it was on fire.

“Maybe I should fuck you too....since that's the thing people seem to be doing these days....Its because of your father isn’t it? That bastard has been all over the news,  talking these past few weeks about how his precious daughter is doing a lot of work for the welfare of wolves....Maybe I should fuck his daughter too....  ” He began, reaching for my blouse. 

I barely registered the nonsense about my father before a loud sound broke through the din. 

The door swung open and the sound of gunfire made me scream.

 I stared at the door only to see the security guard staring at us with wide eyes. 

Minjun , panicked and completely overwhelmed , had blindly opened fire on both of us. 

I felt the touch of the bullet to my shoulder, before the blinding explosion of pain.

 But he seemed to have hit Seo Joon as well, enough times for the were to let go of me and I crashed to floor, clutching my shoulder in agony. 

The sound of gunfire had attracted more people and through the throng I heard Jungkook’s voice.

“Noona.... Mirae noona is that you----???”

“Kookie!!” I croaked out desperately. Jungkook’s eyes went wide when he saw, me, pushing his way past the other wolves before letting out a snarl. The sound seemed to make the others cower and I remembered that he was an alpha too. 

I gripped his arms when he reached me. 

“Don’t tell Taehyung...” I gasped out, still clutching  my shoulder. 

“God, what the fuck.... We need to get you out of here...” He was already dialing for the ambulance. I waited for him to finish, gasping from the pain. Fuck, it hurt like hell. 

“We’re going to get you to the research center first.” Jungkook said frantically.  

I nodded, stumbling to my feet when he tried to lift me up. 

“It’s okay...just...get me something to …” But he was already peeling off his shirt, wadding up to press against the bleeding bullet hole .

“Hyung is going to kill Seo Joon.” He said grimly. 

For once, I didn’t particularly care. 

My mind raced because I hadn’t thought about my father in years. 

What did that tyrant want with me now??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Me trying to finish all my fics and not lose my mind in the process :’( 

[calpalirwin]

Adventurous Spirit

Summary: Ashton becomes more and more of a (lovestruck) hippie.

Word Count: 1.6k

And away, and away we go!

__

Ashton’s adventurous spirit was what had drawn you to him in the first place. Sometimes you weren’t sure what he loved more: being a drummer or being able to travel the world as a result. All you knew was Ashton seemed most at home when he was on the road, making the most of every moment, and you were an absolute sucker for someone who loved life with that much fierceness.

With tour dates lined up, and studio time charted out, life at home buzzed with the excitement of what was to come. Then, the world shut down.

The first week, you watched anxiously as Ashton paced about the house, phone glued to his ear as plans B through Z were discussed and refined, tension slowly building up in his neck and shoulders. But with an album release so close, the feeling of restlessness didn’t get a chance to settle in, and for that you were grateful.

About a month and a half into lockdown, you found him sitting on the couch, staring blankly into space. “Hey,” you said softly, sitting down next to him, and pulling him out of his trance. “You good?” you asked, your fingers dragging slowly up and down his arm.

“Hmm?” he questioned, giving a small shake of his head. “Oh… Yeah, I’m good, I guess.”

“You guess?”

Ashton shrugged. “It’s hard to put into words. Like, I’m thankful for the time to slow down. Because I know I sometimes worry you with how much I work. And my body could probably use the rest. But not knowing how long this lasts is… It fuckin’ sucks. Because there were a lot of things I always said I’d do if I just had the time. And now I do. But how much time? How long am I stuck here?”

“Well” you started with a slight teasing tone, “I’m pretty sure you have time to make a garden, and get some chickens if you’re really dedicated to that.”

He giggled lightly, then sighed. “I just hate not knowing. I don’t want to lose myself.”

“Oh, I don’t think you need to worry about that. Just take it one day at a time, and go from there.”

“I suppose that’s true. And hey, I got you, right?”

“Of course,” you smiled at him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good. Cuz I need you more than I can put into words.”

“I love you too, Ash.”

~~~

You both stared at the box of Superbloom merch, you in awe, and Ashton somewhat dejectedly. “Oh, c’mon!” you urged, nudging into his shoulder. “You could be a little excited. You worked hard for this.”

“I am…” he defended. “But I want to do more.”

“More with the release? Or more solo stuff?”

“More with the release. I want to celebrate. I want a chance to play it live. I want everything the guys and I wanted with Calm, and this shit,” he thrust an angry finger in the direction of the window, “won’t go away!”

“So let’s celebrate.”

“How?!”

“We get tested, and we get out here for a bit. Camp in the desert under the stars for a few nights. I dunno. We’ll figure it out.”

“That… is not half bad. But that only solves one of my problems. I miss performing, babe.”

“Virtual concerts are a thing, you know.”

His eyes lit up in a way you hadn’t really seen for months, before he was kissing you passionately. “You! You’re a fuckin’ genius!”

You laughed against his mouth. “Thanks, I try.”

His forehead knocked against yours, his eyes holding yours steadily. “You are everything to me.”

~~~

If there was a downside to suggesting a weekend getaway for the Ashton’s album release, it was that it revived his desire to travel, and the desire was now stronger than you ever remembered it being.

“You’re becoming a hippie,” you joked as you guys woke up in the back of a pick up truck in the middle of nowhere.

“Becoming?” he laughed. “Thought I always was.”

“Well, it’s becoming more prominent now,” you laughed with him, running your hands through his hair. “I don’t think you’ve let your hair get this long since 2016.”

“Ah yes, the first hippie Ash stage. I’ve learned a lot since then.”

“So this is Hippie Ash 2.0?”

“The new and improved hippie.”

You both broke out in a fit of giggles, before you sighed in content, curling yourself into his side. “So where to next?”

“Anywhere we fuckin’ want to. Well… within reason. The guys and I are discussing the next album.”

“Shit, already?”

He shrugged. “Might as well. Gotta be prepared for when the world opens up again. Wanna hit the ground running. Make up for lost time.”

“Well, fuck. Let’s go somewhere with the guys then. A working vacation.”

“Working vacations are my favorite types of vacation. But after the holidays. I’m getting used to lazy vacations where it’s just me and you, and I’m not ready to give that up just yet.”

“Oh, some place with snow would be cool. Maybe a cabin so we don’t freeze to death.”

He took the hint, pulling you into him with the blanket. “Sounds perfect.”

~~~

You awoke to an empty bed, sunlight, light laughter, and weed smoke filtering in from the open window.

“Morning, Luke,” you greeted as you found the blonde in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his hands wrapped around a coffee mug.

“Mornin’,” he nodded, side stepping out of the way of the coffee machine. “Still practically a full pot if you want a cup.”

“Nah, I’m good for now. Ash?”

“Outside getting high with Cal.”

“Fuckin’ hippie…” you chuckled, headed for the front door of the cabin, Luke’s own laughter following you out.

Calum had a camera in his hand, pointed at Ashton who sat on a couch in his robe, a random disarray of items scattered nearby on the ledge of a firepit. “Oh, hey, Y/N!” Calum said, noticing you first, as Ashton looked over his shoulder at you.

“Hey guys,” you smiled, taking a seat next to Ashton on the couch and leaning into him. “Starting the morning off on the right foot?” you asked with a pointed glance at the ashtray with the cigarettes and blunts.

“Oh, yeah,” Ashton drawled, shifting to wrap his arm around your shoulders.

“Ever think you lean into the hippie stereotype a lil too much?”

“Nah. Haven’t gone completely off the grid.”

“Yet,” Calum snickered. “There’s still time. Luke kinda did, and I’ve never seen him happier.”

“I dunno. I’m already pretty fuckin’ happy.”

“That’s true,” Calum nodded, then clapped a hand against his leg. “I’mma head back in. Maybe shower. Maybe get another cup. You guys good?”

“Yeah, we’re good, mate.”

“You know,” you spoke up as Calum headed back inside, “when this first started last year, I was really worried about you.”

“Worried about me? Why?”

“You said it yourself back then. You’ve always pushed yourself harder than you probably should. I mean, face it, Ash, you’re restless. I was worried about all the things you were worried about. That you’d get stuck, or lose yourself. But then, I dunno. I guess I stopped because I realized how silly it was to worry about you. I mean, you’re you. You’re always gonna make the most of whatever you’ve got. Even if what you got was a year that wasn’t anything like you originally expected it to be.”

“This year was harder than I anticipated. And I did get stuck, and I did get lost. Like those moments did happen. Because you’re right. I’m restless. I’m at my most relaxed when I’m constantly on the move, either doing something or working towards something. So, yeah. This past year fuckin’ sucked. But it was also everything I needed at the same time.”

“Sometimes you gotta lose yourself to find yourself?”

“Something like that, yeah. So, while this past year has taught me a lot, it’s also solidified a lot of things I already knew to be true. Like how I couldn’t have done any of this without you. More than that, I don’t want to do any of this without you. And I wasted too much time trying to reconcile how both you and the band can be the adventures I want to spend my whole life chasing before realizing that I don’t have to.”

“Ash…” you cut in softly. “I’d never make you choose between me and the band. Or me and anything, for that matter. I’m always going to support whatever makes you happiest.”

“No, I know. That’s what I’m trying to say. My life with you in it is what makes me happiest, because you are what makes me happiest. In a year where I didn’t know which way my life was going from one day to the next, the one thing I knew for certain was that I’d have you. It made the dark moments bearable, and the light moments much brighter. That’s not something I want to give up. You’re what I want, now and always. So,” he got up from the couch, reaching into the pocket of his robe as he sank to his knees in front of you. “Marry me.”

You gasped as he snapped open the little box and cool metal slid across your left ring finger, your mind in a whirlwind of both his sentiment, and the fact that he said “Marry me,” more as a direct statement. “Mrs. Hippie does have a nice ring to it.”

“So, that’s a ‘yes’?”

“It’s a million ‘yes’s, Ash. You’re the love of my life.”

“And you’re mine.”

__

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[matsbarzal]

Time’s a Ticking || Matthew Tkachuk

Notes: anyways I decided to do matty and I found this long list of soulmate AU prompts so I know what I’m doing tonight yikes. so here’s a lil bit of a nervous/anxious matty even tho he refuses to admit it. hope you enjoy!!! let me know how you like it <3 

Summary: everyone is born with a dwindling time on their wrist. the moment the time reaches zero is when a person meets their other half, the person who makes them whole; their soulmate. 

Word Count: 3k+

10,584. 7 days, 8 hours and 24 minutes. 7 days until he’d meet his other half, the person that’s meant to complete his soul, be his better half, or whatever a soulmate is meant to be. Matthew wasn’t crazy about the idea of soulmates, sure, he was surrounded by people who were madly in love and happy and complete; but he was also surrounded by those people... the one’s whose time stopped, girls and guys who had a permanent marking of time on their wrist that would never move again.

He wouldn’t say he was a pessimistic person, but he had seen so many friends and family fall into a spiral after their soulmate clock stopped ticking, watched as their other half broke them without even meeting them. He wanted to be excited and optimistic but Matthew couldn’t bring himself to feel the same delight that his friends did on his behalf. Anything could happen in this 7 days, 8 hours... and 22 minutes now.

6160 minutes

You could feel the bump of the plane as it touched the ground. This was the one part of flying you hated the most, the anxiety and the bumping as the plane made its way down the runway towards its destination. You knew anything bad was unlikely to happen, but your nerves were on edge. All you could think about was the time on your wrist, the time that kept on ticking. It hadn’t stopped in your entire 21 years of life, and from the looks of it, you were approximately four days away from that happening.

Sighing, you listened to the claps from around you as everyone congratulated the pilots for landing the plane safely. Around you, people stood up and began collecting their belongings, grabbing their bags from the overhead compartments as the chatter continued in the cabin.

You politely smiled at the man beside you as he passed you down your bag, a quick “Thank you” leaving your lips as he gestured for you to walk in front of him towards the exit. 

Originally, you hadn’t had any intention of leaving Alberta for the holiday break, but your parents had practically begged you to come home for the holiday’s, citing the fact you had remained in Lake Louise for the last year and that they had only seen you once since you made the choice to unravel everything you knew by packing a few bags and moving halfway across the country to Alberta to work at some fancy ski resort in the mountains. 

It was originally only meant to be a few months worth of work, waitressing in Lake Louise at a 5-star resort that is, and then time kept going by, and the more and more you fell in love with not only the scenery, but the people. Everyone was happy there, tourists were always excited and polite, everyone just wanted the chance to see the Lake, skate on the Lake, whatever it was. No one was ever unhappy here, and you loved that. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts as the line in front of you continued to move quickly, people eager to get out of the cabin and get back into the fresh air that flowed outside. You could barely contain your giddiness as you stepped off the plane. You could barely believe how much you missed the province, missed your friends, coworkers, you even missed the tourists. Who would’ve thought?

After about 20 minutes of watching the carousal spin and spin and spin, you finally eyed your bright red, Flames red, as a lot of people reminded you, suitcase. Grabbing it, you hauled the bag off of the carousal and onto the ground. You were eager to get to your car, which you had already paid a good 500 dollars worth of parking for, and eager to get the move on the three hour drive across Highway 1 to Lake Louise. 

After four and a half hours of travelling, you knew this three hour drive was going to exhaust you. And with the temperature out in Alberta right now? All you wanted was your bed and a cup of piping warm hot chocolate to end the day.

4590 minutes

“Man, your face is already awful to look at. You really trying to ruin it even more right before you meet your soulmate?”

Before Noah could even think, a wad of tape hit the side of his head while exclamations went up around the room about the choice of target. “Whoops, guess my tape slipped... out of my hand.”

Matthew shrugged his shoulders, an innocent grin on his face as he stood up to grab the tape from beside Noah Hanifin’s locker. 

“No, but seriously, why are you getting into fights with three days left on your wrist? Don’t go and get yourself killed or something, they’d be devastated if they’ve waited this long for your dumb-ass just to have 4000 minutes tattooed on her wrist for the rest of her life.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Matthew ignored his teammates comments, choosing instead to run his finger across the always-changing number on his wrist. 

“It’s not like it matters anyways.” His words were barely above a mumble, but it was enough to spark the attention of his captain, who was quick to tell him to meet him in the trainer’s office after he was done showering and getting the blood that was currently dripping down his face, cleaned.

Obliging on his captain’s orders, he found Gio in the office, a tight smile the only warning that he was about to get ripped apart by the veteran. Gio was one of the lucky ones, he had barely been 16 when his clock finally hit the big 0. It made him an advocate for all the soulmate bullshit, constantly encouraging his teammates to wait it out, be patient, their time would come. 

“Chucky, buddy, we gotta have a chat.”

Quirking his eyebrows at the older man, Matthew nodded, “Well Gio, I kinda figured that one out buddy, unless you pulled me in here to look at my oh so pretty face.” 

“I’m serious. You need to stop with this constant bashing of soulmates and times and shit. I know you don’t like it and you hate the concept of soulmates and whatever, but you’re doing nothing but worrying the younger guys. These kids are constantly terrified their minutes are just going to stop and be etched into their skin.”

Subconsciously running his fingers across the number on his wrist again, 4530 minutes. Wonder what that is in exact time. Shrugging his shoulders, he was quick to apologize to his captain. “Sorry, G. Not trying to scare the kids, just getting a little... I don’t know? Worried? It’s getting too close, I don’t want to get like...  it’s not important, never mind. I’ll stop talking about times in the locker room. Sorry.”

Quickly tightening the tie that was now wrapped around his neck, Matthew raced out of the office before Gio could say something else to him. He eagerly grabbed his phone, wallet, keys and suit jacket before quickly making his way towards the parking garage, the only thing on his mind was of course, you.

2120 minutes

One whole day and just a few hours. You could barely breath as you ran your thumb over the little black number on your wrist. You knew it was inevitable that you’d be meeting your soulmate while working, the moment you looked at the work schedule when you arrived back from home, you knew you’d be stuck working during the time in which you were meant to meet you soulmate. You were giddy, sure. But what if they didn’t like you? What if whoever it was, was snooty, and rude, and didn’t like you for who you were?

“Y/N, you gotta stop thinking about it, babe. You’re gonna get your head stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts. Think about other things! Like... the Calgary Flames.”

Eyeing the blonde beside you, “Tell me Cassidy, why in the world, would I think about the Calgary Flames, instead of thinking about my soulmate?”

Your coworker shrugged her shoulders and gestured to the board behind your head. You had all been notified a day prior that the Calgary Flames had reserved a whole floor of the Chateau for the weekend. With your restaurant being directly in view of the Lake and the Mountains, you were expected to be the main dining spot for the team over their course of the weekend.

“Believe me, Cass, the last thing I want to think about is a bunch of hockey boys who are going to make me miserable the weekend where I’m supposed to be... not miserable.”

She winked at you, a teasing glint in her eyes, “Maybe one of those awful hockey boys has the same number on your wrist. Maybe Noah Hanifin’s your soulmate. God, I’d be so jealous, could you imagine being destined for that beautiful exhibit of a man? God, I’d climb him like a tree.”

Laughing, you wacked her with the towel in your hand as she continued to egg you on, gloating about how beautiful of a specimen Noah Hanifin was, and how she’d do just anything to crawl into bed with that man. Cassidy was always like this, bubbly, happy, positive. Her number had stopped moving 12 years ago, or so she says. She hadn’t been paying attention the day it stopped, the number etching itself into her skin permanently, to never move again. She was never negative about it, always saying that she hoped just the thought of her brought peace to her soulmate in their last moments. 

“Okay okay, enough about the Flames. I doubt it’s even going to end up being any of them, hockey boys and I do not get along. Especially the one’s that are just constantly bothering people, and that’s the entire Flames roster, so... let’s get back to work.”

440 minutes

One thing Matthew was sure of was the fact that he loved everything about the drive to Lake Louise. He wasn’t notorious for being a huge fan of the scenery around him, but something about the drive across Highway 1, the trees, the snow covered mountains, they all just faded together and created this picture in his head. It was hard to describe, there wasn’t anything specific to the picture, it was just joyful, it was happy, it was calm. Jesus, maybe he was just fucking crazy. 

A lot of people always said you feel more calm in the hours leading up to the first time you meet your soulmate. But he sure as hell didn’t feel calm. He was on edge, the scenery around him, albeit, it was beautiful, it was not calming him down. His leg was shaking, his foot tapping the ground beneath him on the bus. He could see Johnny giving him a look every time his shaking leg touched his teammates. He knew the entire team was frustrated with him. Two games straight, two 10 minute fighting majors. 

He was being a pest, constantly egging people on, trying to ignite arguments or fights or just some form of stimuli to get his mind off of the only thing it could stray to. You. He didn’t want to think about whoever the hell you were, he didn’t want to get his hopes up that maybe his clock would actually hit 0, maybe he’d actually meet his better half. Or maybe he'd fall through a crack in Lake Louise and never have to worry about it again... hopefully. 

“If you touch my leg... one more fucking time, I am going to sock you in the fucking face Chucky.”

Immediately pressing his heel into the ground, Matthew mumbled out a quick ‘sorry’ to the teammate beside him as he watched the trees continue to go by outside the bus window. The time was still changing on his wrist, every minute counting down as the minutes passed outside. There was barely any cell service on the drive up, so the only thing that could truly distract him at this rate, was you, and he hated that.

“Soooo... you excited Chucky? It’s gotta be the big day, no?”

If choking a teammate was legal, Matthew would already be wringing Noah Hanifin’s neck. 

“Yeah, delighted.”

“C’mon grumpy pants, you’re literally like what? 6 hours away from meeting the person who’s supposed to complete your soul... and you’re in a foul mood. Did Doughty crawl up your ass and die last night or?”

Grinding his teeth, Matthew tried to bite his tongue, refusing to lash out at his teammate, even though he so desperately wanted to. He wasn’t going to be the cause for a toxic locker room, especially over something as stupid as soulmates. 

It was obvious that something was going on, everyone on the team knew the time on his wrist equalled out to less than a day. Everyone could see how on edge he was slowly getting as the time dwindled down, but no one could figure out why he was getting more and more frustrated, why the excitement wasn’t shining through as the time continued.

“Why the hell aren’t you excited man? This person’s supposed to be the love of your life, and you seem like you couldn’t give two fucks if you meet them or not?”

It was too late, Matthew was exploding before he could even comprehend what he was saying. “It doesn’t fucking matter man, okay? I don’t give a shit about this soulmate bullshit. Everyone’s soulmate is gone one day anyways, what the hell does it matter if you meet them now? I’m gonna be aching at some point because they’re gone and I’m alone. Woohoo, I get to meet them today, woo-fucking-hoo. I could literally not care less, so stop bugging me.”

27 minutes.

It was all around, highly likely, that your soulmate had some form of connection with the Calgary Flames. Their reservation was scheduled for 23 minutes from now... and your wrist had that small number 27 etched on it as it continued to count down. 

“Wow... maybe your soulmate really is Noah Hanifin... I’m sorry for saying I’d climb him like a tree.”

A loud laugh left your throat as you watched a guilty smile form on your co-workers face. “Cass, I highly doubt it’s Noah Hanifin. It’s probably just a coincidence that their reservation time coincides with my meeting my soulmate time.” Cassidy gave you a knowing look as she walked away, a small smile on her face.

You were anxious, you couldn’t deny it. Every second that counted down, you were nervous, what if you weren’t good enough for them? What if they were embarrassed it was you? What if... oh god... what if they hated soulmates? What if they were one of those people who was willing to cut the tie, ignore the call, ignore the connection?

You refused to think about that, instead putting yourself to work, clearing the tables and plates of the previous occupants, you waved off the clearing crew, instead choosing to do it yourself. Anything to get your mind off of it. 

The Flames weren't the only occupants of the Chateau tonight, only taking up about half, you were able to still seat other tourists who were interested in the view tonight. 

That’s how you found yourself, 25 minutes later, your hand on your hip as you interacted with the group of rowdy guys in front of you. They were from Edmonton, and they were absolutely hammered. They were as nice as you could expect them to be, continuously flirting your ears off, as they tried to impress you with their... what was it? Accounting job? You couldn’t remember for the life of you, your mind solely stuck on the small number 1 now etched on your wrist. 

You were roused out of your thoughts at the feeling of a hand touching your waist. “C’mon sweetheart, you’re not even paying attention to us here. Take a shot with us, baby!”

You politely removed the offending wrist, a tight smile now etched on your face. “First, I would ask that you please don’t touch me. Second, I was most definitely listening. You boys want another round of beers, and 6 tequila shots. Unfortunately, I don’t believe the shots are the best idea, nor do I think the beer is, but I’ll definitely get you a glass of water.”

Spinning on your heel, you went to walk away but were stopped by the feeling of a hand tightly gripping your wrist, a small squeak falling from your lips.

“We don’t want water.”

“Please get your hand off of me.”

“Get us what I asked for then, bitch.” 

You were about to retort, a vicious snarl on your lips, but your words were caught in your throat as you watched a fist connect to the cheek of the man in front of you, a gasp leaving your throat.

2 minutes

This had to be a joke. He was apparently two minutes away from meeting his soulmate, and here he was, in an orderly fashioned line as him and his teammates made their way into the restaurant. He could barely breath, his pants felt too tight on his hips, he could feel the sweat seeping through his shirt. Thank god he made the choice to wear black. 

It felt like everyone’s eyes were on his, everyone was wearily watching the number on his wrist go down, as the obvious anxieties began to cloud his every thought, action, move... everything.

He tried to take his mind off of it, observing the restaurant as the team slowly made their way to their designated tables. There were a few other patrons, most of them caught up in their own world. One specific table caught his eye, they were a group of rowdy guys, maybe a few years older than him. 

Quite frankly, they looked like all around assholes. Looked like the guys you’d see from Wolf of Wall Street, and from the looks of it, they were really starting to irritate their waitress. Although, all he could see was your back, your posture was unbelievably straight, your hand on your hip as you inventively listened to the guys in front of you.

Matthew continued to watch you, something inside of him telling him that he just couldn’t look away. He had to keep looking. He watched as you turned your body, ready to walk to wherever your destination in mind was, but he instantly zeroed in on the hand that was now tightly wrapped around your wrist, a violent look on the man’s face.

He wasn’t moving on his own accord now, his feet were basically moving by themselves as they raced towards you.

“Get us what I asked for then, bitch.”

His fist was connecting with the other man’s face before he could even think. He heard the gasp from beside him, he watched the number on his wrist hit 0 the exact moment he looked at you, a look of shock on everyone’s faces.

“Chucky!”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m going to call the police you fucking curly-headed fuck.”

He could barely focus on the voices around him. You were here. You were literally right in front of him. Both of your numbers were at 0, he could see it on your wrist. He was literally staring in the eyes of his soulmate.

“Oh my god, you punched one of our guests.” Your voice was like bells to his ear, soft, delicate, everything he wasn’t... but god, you were perfect.

“I’m Matthew, and yes... I uh... I think I did punch one of your guests. I also think you’re my soulmate. Does it count as self-defence... if I punched him in my soulmate’s defence?” 

You laughed, trying to cover it up with your mouth as you watched your manager’s rush towards the now bleeding asshole at the table behind you. 

“I think I like you already, Matthew.”

[jenniferdiazplaysbasketball]

So my phone broke back in December so keeping my ear to the ground for news has become a bit harder (I should have a new one by the end of March). However, I now have a Team Jennifer discord server and @thegoodmurphy pointed me towards this article last weekend.

Anyway, I don’t know much about “What’s On Disney Plus”. I know it is a fan run site looking at news regarding Disney+. It also shows in the news section of Google search, so it has me tempted to believe it is a legit source of news.

The key paragraph in this article regarding Season 2 is this;

“In season two of “Big Shot,” Marvyn Korn (Stamos) returns to Westbrook with a new fire, ready to show that his girls basketball team belongs in D-2 and that he’s still the championship-winning, powerhouse coach he was in the NCAA. Marvyn’s latest plan toward relevance is to get his team broadcast on ESPN, and his method is to recruit an unlikely player: Ava (Echeagaray), a gutsy beach volleyball phenom whose public tantrum got her ousted from her own sport. Between losing their assistant coach Holly Barrett (Gilsig) to a rival school, new friction amongst teammates, a sudden and unexpected proximity to boys, and off-the-court disasters that no one could’ve predicted, this season, the Westbrook Sirens have even more to prove.”

This firstly seems to indicate that Holly does take on the role of Head Coach she was offered at Carlsbad. Given how the team has reacted to Coach Korn’s attempts to leave the team in the past, I can imagine this is going to create some tension already. That being said, Westbrook as a school doesn’t seem to appreciate Holly’s talents especially when they rejected Coach Korn’s proposal for her to be Head Coach if he had left. It seems that whether Korn is there or not, Holly is going to be stuck in a dead end position with no possibility of progression and I hope the girls in time will come to understand that.

Coach Korn attempting to recruit Ava, looks like it is going to be a bad move. He previously tried recruitment in Season 1 which upset the girls, as he is once again saying to them “You aren’t enough.” While Korn has shown a lot of growth in Season 1 even eventually turning down his chance to become a college basketball coach again, I think he definitely is going to be pushing harder to keep his relevance now. And Korn does seem to get blinded by his ambition so it is easy to see how he could fall back into this attempt at recruiting from outside the team/school. That could in itself create new friction amongst the team.

Let’s no forget where this particular blog started, I definitely feel like Giggles and Carolyn’s story has a ways to go yet and I definitely can see tension emerging between those two once more. Not to mention this is high school and the other girls are sure to have their own drama.

The sudden unexpected proximity to boys intrigues me though. I wonder if Westbrook is going to be moving towards becoming a co-ed school in Season 2.

And as for the unexpected off-the-court disaster, well that is too wide a scope for me to have any theories as of yet.

Anyway, @thegoodmurphy follows a lot of the crew on Twitter and tags me in posts every now and then. From what we can gather they are in the midst of filming Season 2 so as more news comes along, I guess we’ll keep you posted 😊

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

In The Storm, There Came A Breeze | Sawamura Daichi/Reader

Characters: Ushijima Wakatoshi, Sawamura Daichi, Reader/Original Female Character

Pairings: Sawamura Daichi/Reader, Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader

Warnings: Minor Angst

Word Count: 4023

Summary: Daichi blew into her life like a gentle breeze, battling the after effects of the storm Ushijima had left behind.

A/N: This is the second part of a companion piece, the first part will be linked here.

----------

Daichi blew into her life like a gentle breeze, battling the after effects of the storm Ushijima had left behind.

She meets Daichi as she is wandering around Karasuno without any destination in mind; trying to cloud her thoughts. She doesn’t even realise she’s walked in front of a gym until someone is yelling for her to move; she turns her head just in time to catch sight of a ball flying towards her face. Closing her eyes, she prepares for an impact that never comes; instead the ball had been stopped, the forearm in front of her face told her that much.

The world erupts into stammering apologies from the boy who had hit the ball, a whirlwind of laughter from a pair inside of the gym, and her saviour asking her over and over again if she’s okay. They were introducing themselves around her while she was still processing the events of two seconds ago.

“Great, Asahi, you broke the girl and you didn’t even hit her,” Sugawara slapped Asahi on the back - the boy in question had crumbled down onto the ground, letting out a stream of apologies.

She looks back up at Daichi exclaiming that she is, afterall, okay. He doesn’t accept it, not quite, “are you sure you’re okay?” He asks again

“I’m sure.” She nods, though it doesn’t come out half as confidently as she wants it to.

“You know,” he scratched the back of his neck, “you should take me to dinner as a thank you for saving your life.” The soft chuckle he lets out tells her he's joking - he has to be joking, why wouldn’t he be?

That didn’t matter, she felt bad about it either way, so she pulled out her phone, “can I have your number?” Her confidence was all fake, but he didn’t need to know that.

Daichi freezes for a second, unsure of what to do, until she juts her phone out again and he takes it, inputting his number. “I was only kidding…” he mumbled, glancing over at Suga who was giving him a wild grin.

“Thank you,” she slips her phone back into her pocket, offering him a small smile before turning away. He calls out after her, asking for her name and she gives it to him.

True to herself, she messages him later that evening.

Hi, when are you next free so I can take you for something to eat?

She put her phone on her desk, turning her attention back to her studies only for her phone to start vibrating. He called me? She picks up quickly, as to not be perceived as rude, “you really don’t need to take me to dinner!” Daichi exclaims, pulling a laugh out of her, “I’ll be alright, I promise.”

“I want to.” She says confidently.

“I’d feel bad, though, wasting your money on me.” He mumbles and she rolls her eyes.

“Please, it’s my pleasure, now when are you next free?”

They meet up that weekend and she takes him to the cafe. She orders for them both, because the options are just too good looking and I don’t want to waste your money. After finding out what he prefers, she orders Taiyaki and tea for herself, and pancakes, ice cream, and coffee for Daichi.

“Wow, this place is so cool, have you been here before?” Daichi asks, eyes bright while looking around. She nods lightly, her heart cinching at the memory. In between bites, they make pleasant conversation, neither of them taking much of a break from talking - though he does talk far more than she does. He tells her how he came about joining Karasuno, how he liked being the volleyball captain but those goddamn first years make it so hard. She learns that they’re planning on going to nationals this year, and he truly believes they can do it with this new team.

He asks her why she decided to come to Karasuno. She tells him that she had issues with some people while at Shiratorizawa - to her, Karasuno was the next best option when it came to what she needed - which was a way to escape.

She doesn’t tell him it’s because of who she is trying to leave behind.

“Maybe you could help me study then,” his words are hopeful, dancing with glee and amusement that makes her hesitate.

“Maybe.” She hums.

She was surprised when he asked to take her out next weekend - she couldn’t even argue that she hadn’t had a nice time, she had loved it. Her hesitation wavered when he told her to give him an answer whenever she was ready. It hadn’t been five minutes since he stepped on the train that she texted him she’d love to go out next weekend.

Days start to zip by whenever she is by his side, and nobody is surprised when he asks her to be her boyfriend - nobody is surprised when she says yes.

----

Apparently, Daichi lives his life freely - unlike Ushijima, who revels in his routine.

Of course there was his basic routine, but anything outside of school and volleyball was free-reign; she found herself going on multiple dates a week - most of them just sitting outside of Sakanoshita store with some food and drinks. He insisted on calling her by her first name because that’s just what people in relationships do, and I love the way you say my name. She doesn’t need to hide her blush.

Daichi wasn’t afraid to shower her with compliments. He loved to see the way she’d squirm and blush, how flustered she’d get. Even him just asking for her to read to him was enough to make her heart beat loudly in her chest because he could just never get enough of your voice.

She lets herself think that he might actually be the one. Not just some fairy tale.

----

Daichi adores buying her flowers when he finds out how important they are - unlike Ushijima, who had rejected the idea right up until she left him.

One day, they were walking around without rhyme or reason, just basking in each other's company. They came across a flower shop and a mixture of bile and adoration fills her throat; she doesn’t quite know how to react, especially not when he follows her gaze and asks, “do you want me to buy you flowers?” She watches the way he scrunches up his nose at the smell and pulls back.

“No, it’s okay, if you don’t like them then you don’t have to.” She mutters, trying to pull him away, but he doesn’t budge - instead, he twists her around and squeezes her hand.

“But do you like them? That’s what I want to know.” Something in her eyes twinkles at the prospect of it; as tears start to build up, he doesn’t question it, just brings her head to his chest.

“I do…” she whimpers, choking back soft cries. “But not purple hyacinths, or lavender, or forget-me-nots.” She states, and he nods like it’s the easiest thing in the world to remember.

He steps away from her, slipping into the shop and assuring her he’d be back quickly. The wind pinches at her skin, goose bumps prickling along her arms and she can’t help but feel some shame - as if asking for something as simple as flowers would be too much.

In five minutes, Daichi returns with a bouquet of flowers - camellias for perfection, foxgloves for protection, and roses for love - apologising that he took so long, “I just wanted to make sure they were perfect.” She feels her heart swell at the sight, burying her nose deep in them and snuggling closer into his side. “Do you like them?” He asked, almost unsure of himself.

“I love them.” She sighs happily.

And she really does.

----

Daichi loves to have her with him at practise - unlike Ushijima, who despised even the idea of it.

“You should come and watch me practise after school!” He cheers one morning while they wait for their classes to begin; she’s rubbing her thumb over his hand, because he almost refuses to not have her holding him in some way. Her mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water - she’d still barely managed to be okay with the fact he played volleyball, watching him practise might be too much for her.

“Wouldn’t I be too distracting?” Her voice is like a breeze, too soft. He can feel his heart shatter at the way her eyes start to shine - not with happiness, no, as if she were going to cry.

He cups her cheeks, brushes her hair behind her ears and looks at her firmly, “of course,” he felt her tense up, “but I’d love to have you by my side no matter what - besides, it’d be nice to hear you cheering my name.” He grins from ear to ear, pressing light kisses over her face. She doesn’t know whether to feel loved or not, but she settles on the former and allows herself to smile.

“I’ll come watch.” She says, rolling her eyes as he yells triumphantly, “But I don’t know about cheering you on, probably that Tsukishima, though.” She giggles as he lightly swats her arm.

----

Daichi is quick to pick up on her fear - and for that, she is grateful

It should have been a normal practise, but the first years just wouldn’t stop arguing, for some reason. She was watching from the side, chatting lightly with Yachi when Daichi’s booming voice echoed throughout the gym - it set her body on fire as she froze, tears welling in her eyes; she knew it wasn’t directed at her, because she hadn’t done anything, but that didn’t stop her breath from picking up until she was light headed.

Yachi reached her hand out to you, worry laced in her words - she tossed a look over to Daichi who enveloped her in a hug, stroking her hair gently and whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Never in her life had she been so thankful that he was holding her - if it wasn’t for him, her knees would have had her crumbling.

He led her out of the gym, not once letting go of her - not until they were away from the stares of his teammates.

When his sweet voice asked her what was wrong, she broke and told him of her time with Toshi - although she still referred to him as Toshi - she told him about his little comments, about the lack of affection, about everything that hurt and bothered her beyond relief. The missed dates and lack of communication. How much he drove her crazy. She told him how she used to hate volleyball because of him, how the very thought of it had once made her sick - until she met Daichi, that is.

Of course, she made sure to tell him how much he had changed her life; how much more confident she’s grown since meeting him, and how much she loved it, and how much she loved him.

He leans down, stealing a kiss from her, stroking her cheek with his thumb and she hums happily, melting into his touch. He pulls away from her, only barely, “do you even know how much you mean to me?”

She pushed his face away, blushing furiously - they’re completely unaware of the audience they’ve gathered as she complains about his sappy words, waving her hand harshly in front of him. Of course, he responds by lifting her high up and spinning her around, pulling her closer when she squeals with joy. For once, she’s taller than him, cupping his cheeks, pressing her forehead against his; strong arms around her waist, making sure she’s steady as she giggles, their breath intertwining.

----

There was no questioning that she was invited to his actual games and not just practises, she didn’t need to ask twice.

When his eyes sought her out in the stands, he found her standing there proudly, something on her cheeks and wearing his jersey. Even from here, he can see how anxious she is, but when they meet eyes, that seems to drip off of her, replaced by such pure love that has his heart swelling.

“Did you get her that?” Daichi asked Kiyoko, obviously meaning the jersey.

“She asked me to, even offered to pay,” Kiyoko giggled softly, brushing her hair out of her face - his eyes still hadn’t left her, pride swirling around him knowing she was there to cheer him on and nobody else.

“Of course she did.” He chuckled - it was too obvious that he didn’t want to take his eyes off of her for a second, but when he did, he knew she was still watching him. Only him.

As they play against Ohgiminami, he can hear her voice loud and clear in the crowd. Every single receive; every single serve; every single spike; there is no limit to her cheering - knowing how quiet she’d been barely a few months ago made him want to cheer with her, because for once she was using her voice, and it was for him. Because she loved him.

After Karasuno won, she ran directly into his arms, not caring about the sweat dripping off his body - relishing in every single part of him because why wouldn’t she? He finally gets a good look at what’s on her cheeks, ‘#’ on the left and ‘1’ on the right. He could have cried right there - she’d painted his number on her cheek. But he didn’t choose to pull her just a little closer and grab at the loose parts of his shirt on her. “You look cute, you should wear my clothes more often.” She rolled her eyes, swatting at his chest.

“I’m only wearing this because you're playing today,” she sighed heavily, crossing her arms under her chest, “don’t expect this treatment all the time or I’ll start wearing Asahi’s stuff.” He chuckled at the idea of that, shaking his head lightly.

“Whatever you say, firecracker.”

----

She was there the next day, sporting the same outfit.

At some points, he’s worried that she’s going to tumble over the barrier because she’s leaning forward so far - thank God Saeko is there to pull her back - still she carries on.

“You’re such a dummy,” she mumbles sadly, squeezing his hand in the infirmary. Of course he’d collided with Tanaka, something always had to go wrong in one of these matches. “You came together like magnets.” She tried to make him smile, and it worked, but the pain he felt was too much.

“I lost a tooth.” He showed it to her proudly - she grimaced, holding out her hand. Even if the gesture made him cringe, he gave it to her and watched her examine it.

“Can I keep it?” She asked.

“What is wrong with you?” Amusement flowed from him and she rolled her eyes.

“That way, whenever Tanaka makes fun of me, I can show him what he did.”

“You’re a sadist.”

She shrugged, “you love it.”

“I don’t know, I think you’re pretty creepy.”

“Whatever, magnet-boy.”

----

The night before their match against Shiratorizawa, Daichi called her, worried about how she was going to be. “I told you, Daichi, I’ll be fine.” She mumbled groggily - it was late, after all - but he couldn’t get the worry out of his mind.

“I know, I just… I worry about you.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair and flopping onto his bed.

“Really?” Sarcasm dripped from her tongue. “I couldn’t tell.” He heard her roll over, probably snuggling closer to her pillow. “I promise I’ll be okay, now can I go to sleep?”

“If he says anything to you…”

“I doubt he will.” She assured him, “but if he does, then it won’t matter, because the only opinion of me that matters…” she paused, letting him work out how she was going to end that sentence before she smirked, “is Kiyoko’s.”

“Hey!” Daichi cried out, there was still an amusement in his voice.

“Oh, I guess you, too.” She snickered.

“Yeah, I mean, having you cheer me on is nice, but hearing Suga’s voice.” He mocked a chef’s kisses, drawing giggles out of her.

“I’m telling him you said that.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, I dare.”

He listened as she tapped on her screen, before she airily laughed down the phone; of course she’d messaged in the group chat, he saw her message clear on his screen.

Daichi just said he wants to hear Suga screaming his name.

When he gasped, she laughed louder. “I hate you.”

“Oh my God, we have something in common.”

He rolled his eyes.

They said their goodnights, promising to see each other the next morning - even if they both knew it was inevitable, it was still nice to hear it.

----

Across the court was Ushijima Wakatoshi; Daichi watched the captains eyes flicker up towards the Karasuno stands as she cheered so loudly. He hadn’t even started playing, but she was already so excited to see how he’d do. With no shame, she blew a thousand kisses in his direction.

He waved gleefully before turning back to Ushijima, his eyes piercing into his skull. Daichi smirked, as if to say that's right, she’s mine. He puffed out his chest and continued warming up.

Only Suga seemed to notice him strutting around, but he didn’t bring it up, just snickered to himself - he’d been one of the few she had told about her past relationship with Shiratorizawa’s ace - of course, he’d immediately wanted to fight him, but she’d said it wasn’t worth it. That Daichi was the only one she really cared about when it came to opinions, and even then he’d always tell her the same thing.

He could remember her ranting to him a few nights ago about how happy he makes her because if I don’t get it out right now, I might just explode with happiness! And he’d listen, because she was so important to Daichi, and that meant she was important to him.

Daichi sucked in a breath, preparing himself for the game of a lifetime. He knew she was watching him, his number on her cheeks, his jersey on her body. That alone was enough to calm his nerves.

----

“They won…” she mumbled to the side a second after the game finished, the silence that filled the gym was deafening. “They won.” Her voice a little louder until she started to jump up and down, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You won!” She screamed out, leaning over the barrier, almost falling over until Saeko pulled her and Yachi into a tight hug.

Her heart pounded so deep within her chest that it ached, everything they’d worked hard for had finally come to fruition and she got to be here to see it.

The moment the teams were excused from the court, she ran as fast as she could, almost tripping down the stairs and bumping into several people, barely offering them an apology before she bolted off in the direction.

Just before she could reach Daichi, she ran directly into someone else. She looked up quickly, ready to apologise before she froze; the piercing red eyes of Tendou Satori were enough to make her panic. “Oh, Tendou?” Her voice was soft. She nervously tapped her foot, wanting this interaction to be done with soon.

“It’s been a while,” Tendou chuckled, slowly dragging his eyes over her outfit, he sneered, “didn’t know you would be supporting the other team? What happened to your Shiratorizawa pride?” She stared up at him, confusion laced in her features before being washed away by a mild aggression.

“I got to Karasuno.” She said coolly; somehow her words cut deep into the blocker, making him think that there wasn’t a thing he could say that would throw her off her game. “And besides, I’m here to support my boyfriend.” Almost as if he had heard her, Daichi appeared. She grinned so wildly, anxious to run up to her captain and shower him with love.

“I thought you hated volleyball.” He sneered. She sighed, dropping her smile for a second to stare back at him.

“I used to, but things change when you find the right person,” her eyes met Daichi’s and she smiled softly, reaching up to pat his arm, “you played good.” She waved him goodbye before full-on sprinting towards Daichi.

His open arms were a welcome embrace as she leapt through the air, landing perfectly in them. He stank of sweat, soaked in the stuff, too - she didn't care. Because he was here. She was in his arms. He won. “Oh my God, I’m so proud of you.” She plastered his face with kisses, squealing as he twirled her around, pulling her closer to his chest. “You did it, baby, you won.” She nuzzled her nose against his, eliciting a flush on his cheeks that she just knew wasn’t from how hard he’d just worked. The sounds of Tsukishima mock-gagging at their affection only made her laugh.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have a gorgeous girlfriend, Tsukishima,” Daichi teased, eyes never wavering from her form.

“Well, she’s annoying, so I don’t want one.” Tsukishima turned his head away.

“And I was cheering you on, too, Tsukishima.” She put her hand against her chest, feigning pain as she flopped her head onto Daichi’s shoulder, obviously fake sobs made them all laugh.

Heavy footsteps didn’t draw away her attention from the man holding her in his arms; not until Daichi forced his eyes away to see who it was. She followed his gaze, locked eyes with Ushijima, any emotion on her face dropped immediately. He cleared his throat, staring at her, unblinking. It should have made her easy - there was a time when it would have made her uneasy - but that wasn’t today. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Anything you need to say to her,” Daichi carefully put her down on the ground, wrapping his arm around her in a way that screamed possessive to her, but she relished in it, “you can say to all of us, Toshi.” She inwardly snickered at the idea of him mocking Ushijima. His stare told her exactly what her boyfriend was thinking, if you even think of trying anything, I will beat your ass just like I did on the court. Tenderly, she rubbed his lower back, making sure to snuggle in extra close.

Ushijima’s stare still hadn't faltered from her face, zoning out the rest of the team, “I told you you were a distraction.”

The entire team seemed to set on fire behind her - no one said anything - waiting for her reaction was like pure torture.

They didn’t expect her to pull Daichi closer - as if there was any room between either of them anyway - and hum happily, “I’m not a distraction to the one that matters.

Daichi looks down at her like she’s just given him the world - in reality, she was his world. If he wasn’t mostly sane, he would have proposed to her right then and there. But then she’s leading him and the rest of the team away and he lets himself calm down.

Of course, the moment she gets outside, she's taking in such deep breaths that he knows how badly she was panicking. He watches her fall purposely onto the floor, laying flat on her back and covering her face, almost screaming into her hands.

He’s at her side in an instant, but then he sees the smile on her lips and he steps back.

“What got you so happy?” Suga leans down and offers her his hand, she takes it, being pulled to her feet with such ease.

“Because you won! I can’t get over it, like, Tanaka was like blam and Kageyama went whoosh-” they listened to her ramble, making random noises for each and every person, moving like an excited puppy.

Daichi had never loved her more in that moment. He knew, deep in his heart, that he had found the perfect girl for him.

------------

A/N: Ah okay, sorry this took so long to get onto Tumblr, I was having issues. But that’s fine, we’re fine. 

[dragonseattofu]

NekuShiki question time! :)

Tell us about one of their vacations they went on together!

Any funny/silly headcanons you want to share?

Who would propose to the other and how?

Hey Anon, so let me start off with saying how completely honored I am to have someone interested in my headcanons. I was honestly so shocked and you literally made my day so thank you. Please see bottom for notes. Now to the ask,

Vacations

My idea for right after the first game, before A New Day and before NEO, is that the gang would all have a typical beach vacation. Some place local, since these kids are still teens, and they are all typically broke. Eri would be along for the ride too because Shiki wouldn’t travel without her best friend, and also because Eri would just invite herself. Even if Eri trusts and loves Rhyme, she definitely doesn’t trust the boys to be alone with her cute best friend on a weekend trip.

They take the train to the beach, and it’s time to get changed. Eri picked out a bathing suit for Shiki, that’s not exactly revealing but less conservative than Shiki would have liked.

“I can’t wear that! Is that the only one you brought me?” Shiki’s voice raised in a panic.

“Shiki, it’s really not that bad. It’s a tankini and it will look cute on you!”

Her insecurities were screaming at her. No way could she go out in public wearing that! The top is practically see through!

“Eri, this may look cute on other people, but not me. I-I can’t pull this look off, I’m not —”

“Are you girls okay in there?”

They both turned to the closed door. The changing room is open air, so even though Neku couldn’t see anything, he could hear everything.

“Shiki, I have an idea. Is there anyone else inside?”

“No, why?”

“Eri, come guard the door.”

“Neku, if you think I’m going to let you into the girls changing room —“

“I’ll keep my eyes closed, I just need to give Shiki something.”

“I could just —“

“Just come to the door, Eri. Shiki, put the swimsuit on, I’m not going to look.”

“But!”

“I’m tying something around my eyes, I’ll be quick.”

He heard some shuffling and the door opened. Eri guided Neku into the room, and once inside she shut the door. Shiki touched his elbow to let him know where she was, and he offered her the cloth he was holding.

“What are you?”

“Just turn around.”

She did as he asked, and he draped his short-sleeved cotton shirt over her shoulders, trying very hard not to touch her bare skin, even if he thought otherwise.

“My shirt’s long enough to cover pretty much all of you, and you can’t enjoy the beach if you’re feeling self conscious about your swimsuit. You’ll get there one day, even if that day may not be today.”

The UG gang knew how low Shiki’s self confidence was, and even though Eri was very attentive to Shiki’s needs, sometimes her methods of getting Shiki to own herself weren’t always the best. The seamstress was getting better every day, but when she is with her best friend, who looks great in a bikini, those feelings she once had still linger. Some things just take more time and Neku wanted Shiki to have fun today, without having to worry about what she looked like.

He couldn’t see the smile she was wearing, or the blush of her cheeks, but he heard her sigh of relief.

“Thanks Neku.” He stayed with her as she finished getting ready, which wasn’t very long, and sooner than later, Shiki took Neku’s hand to guide him back out of the room. When the coast was clear thanks to Eri’s watchful eye, the pair walked into the sunshine and only then could Neku see Shiki, who was in his shirt that was flowing around her loosely, buttoned only around her waist, her green two piece swimsuit still modestly visible.

Leave it to Shiki to find a way to make a simple shirt look fashionable.

And for Neku, who was a little awestruck, claiming the sun made his face flush, smirked to himself as Eri complimented Shiki on her new look. She looked perfect in his shirt.

Cute/Silly head cannons

Neku living with Shiki, and she’s so busy she doesn’t really cook for herself/eats unhealthy. He’s straight up appalled. So he teaches himself how to cook and essentially turns into a domestic househusband. Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, feeding Mrs. Mew (her black cat that she adopted when Neku was in the UG) etc. When the kiddos (twisters) come over, Neku’s in the kitchen while Shiki entertains for a bit, brings them all tea wearing an adorable apron, and kisses her on the check before setting the serving plate down in the kitchen to come back and join everyone. I long for domestic fluff.

Proposal

I feel like Neku would totally try planning out this creative and artistic proposal, his kiddos would be dying to help him out. Shoka would go nuts making sure her mentor got the most gorgeous proposal setting, she would grumble as Fret tried to help out in an most exaggerated way, and Rindo would try to prevent Shoka from killing Fret who she finds is ruining his plan. Neku would just let them be as long and they weren’t doing anything dangerous, and he agreed that a girl who changed him for the better AND waited for his return after three years did deserve the best. When push comes to shove and it’s about to happen, the twisters and the original crew watching (and recording) them, Neku gets so nervous he ends up messing up, but Shiki totally understands what he’s saying and she pops the question. And it’s kind of like Amity and Luz from the Owl House.

Neku’s looking everywhere but at her, and Shiki can tell he’s so nervous that he’s starting to stutter. She finds it funny that this once emo teen turned into a suave young adult was now reduced to a bumbling mess. “What I’m trying to say is —”

“Will you marry me?” Shiki interjected, reading his mind. She’s so excited that she could burst.

He was relieved that it’s out in the open, but disappointed it was not he who popped the question he had prepared so long for. He’s pouting but also smiling as he whines, “Ah no, I was going to say it.”

Shiki giggles like a schoolkid as she waves her hand in the air to placate him, “okay, okay, go ahead.” In an attempt to take his pending question more seriously, Shiki bit her lips together, but couldn’t fight the corners of her mouth lifting upward in a goofy grin.

He bent his right knee onto the pavement, took her hands in his, looked her in the eye and breathed out, “Shiki Misaki, will you marry me?”

“Yes!”

He had 0.1 seconds to kiss her before he’s mauled to the ground by their friends. Eri and Shoka grabbed Shiki, screaming so loudly it drew the attention of commuters all around them. He has to calm them down so he can put the ring on his fiancee’s finger, a mere afterthought that after all the suffering everyone in the group has gone through, they all have something amazing to celebrate.

Note: I’m sorry this reply is so late, but I wanted to think about what to say and I ended up writing little ficlets for you, so I hope you can forgive me! And thank you again for prompting me, I find it hard to write sometimes and this really encouraged me to write more. If you, or anyone else likes these, please feel free to send me more prompts, I might even make a ficlet collection on Ao3 if anyone is interested!

[punchdrunkdoc]

Given To Fly

Chapter 4: The Girl In His Bedroom

Previous instalments:

Chapter 1: The Girl At The Bar & Chapter 2: The Girl In The Lab here

Chapter 3: The Girl On The Fire Escape here

TASM! Peter Parker x Original female character

Summary: After the events of Spiderman: No Way Home, Peter 3 is determined to make some changes to his life. It starts with a new job, and a chance meeting with a beautiful stranger in a bar.

Notes: The lonely, somewhat tortured TASM!/Andrew Garfield version of Peter Parker in Spiderman: No Way Home broke my heart a bit. This is my attempt to give him his happy ending.

I can’t say too much, as there’s a mystery at the heart of this tale that I don’t want to spoil.

But I can say this will be a multi-part story with a slow burn, enemies-to-lovers romance with an OC character (the x reader format doesn't work for this particular story - sorry!)

Also available on AO3

Operation Charm Offensive was a bust.

For several days in a row he’d tried to engage Jane in conversation, all to no avail.

On Monday morning, he timed it so that he bumped into her as she entered the building. “Hi, how was your weekend?” he asked, following her to the security station.  

She looked at him briefly….then just kept walking.

On Tuesday, he found her alone in her lab. Noticing the Mandalorian-themed calendar tacked to the wall above her computer he tried to use it to find some common ground. “Hey, Baby Yoda! Love that guy. What do you think is going to happen next season?”

She lifted her head away from her microscope, looked at him…then just kept working.

He tried harder. “I, uh, wouldn’t have pegged you for a Star Wars fan. But then, you are a scientist. And we’re a nerdy bunch, kinda by default,” he prattled on, glancing around for inspiration. That’s when he noticed the Baby Yoda stuffed toy on the unoccupied desk next to hers. And the Din Djarin figurine on the windowsill. Shit, maybe it wasn’t even her calendar!

Knowing from her gifts to Kevin that she was a fan of fantasy novels, he tried using that on Wednesday.

“Hey, Jane,” he started, catching her in the corridor. “I’m in a bit of a reading slump - got any recommendations? I love anything space opera-y, high fantasy, you name it.”

She huffed out an exasperated breath, shook her head and pushed passed him.

So yeah, it was not going well.

Until Thursday.

And that was more out of luck than any charming intervention on his part.

He was sitting in the break room with a few of the data geeks, leaning so far back in one of the chairs that the two front legs were off the ground. Frowning at the day’s crossword in his NYT app, he absentmindedly called out for help on 68-across. “Hey, Steve, what’s a ‘muscle targeted by military presses’? Starts with D.”

“Deltoid,” a voice replied.

But it wasn’t Steve.

Peter’s head shot up from his phone and he met the eyes of Jane. She was standing by the countertop, waiting for her food to finish zapping in the microwave.

He quickly glanced back to his phone, checking that it fit. Which, of course, it did.

“Thanks,” he called out, looking up at her again.

“Thursday’s are always a killer.” She shrugged, grabbed her food and walked out of the room.

Peter stared at the doorway, long after she’d exited.

Huh. So that’s what it took.

He needed to engage her intellect, not her interests.

He could work with that.

———

“Spelunker’s aid.”

“I’m not going to give you the answer, Peter.”

“Ok. How about just the spelling of Ghandi’s first name. I know it, but just help me spell it.”

“No, that’s cheating.”

Peter grinned at her prim tone. They were on the roof of the GenTech building, sprawled out in the office chairs someone had dragged up a few weeks when the hot weather kicked in.

It was now their spot.

Their battleground.

Where they met daily to complete the crossword, racing against each other to finish.  

It had taken about a week of ‘engaging her intellect’ through crossword clues before she felt comfortable in his presence. But the real breakthrough came when he engaged her competitive spirit.

Which was fierce.

All it took was casually mentioning that he’d managed to get the previous day’s puzzle solved in under 12 minutes.

“What? No. How is that possible?” She spluttered.

He laughed. “Because I’m a genius. Why, how long did it take you?”

She flicked through the app and sighed at the stats page. “15 minutes, 34 seconds.”

He laughed again.

She scowled at him. “I have a disadvantage being British - half the clues are specific to America. And I bet you googled half the answers.”

His hands went to his chest in fake outrage. “How dare you malign my honour!”

She gave him the faintest smile at that. Not wanting to squander the opportunity, Peter offered a suggestion. “If you don’t believe me, here’s what we’ll do. Tomorrow lunchtime, we’ll duel it out.”

“Duel it out?” She repeated, looking sceptical.

“Yeah. You and me. Phones on the table, crossword apps open. Whoever solves it first is declared the champion.”

“Okay, you’re on.”

She won the first round. And the second. But he stopped her making it three in a row. And on it went, until the duels lost some of their competitive edge and became merely an excuse to spend time together.

Which they did.

Every lunchtime.

It was always the best 30 minutes of his day.

“What’d you get up to last night,” Peter asked, filling in the solution for 5-down.

“Not much. You?” She replied absentmindedly, her focus on her phone screen.

Peter had noticed that when she was in the throes of crossword puzzle concentration, she let her guard down…and actually talked to him.

“Not much.”

“Hmmm.”

So, yeah, it wasn’t always scintillating, deep conversation, but she'd started to open up to him.

They were becoming friends.

But he still hesitated before asking his next question, worried it was too soon for such a big step. But Aunt May had insisted...

“Um, its the fourth of July tomorrow,” Peter began.

“Yeah, that usually comes after the third of July.”

“Ha ha,” he said sarcastically. Then swallowed, trying to keep his tone light. “If you don’t have any plans, um, do you want to celebrate it with Parkers? Hot dogs and apple pie!” He finished, trying to sell the idea.

She glanced up at him, looking perplexed. He waited, but no reply was forthcoming.  

“So, um do you have plans?” He tried again.

“No plans,” she said slowly. “You know I don’t know anyone in the city.”

“But you know me,” he smiled. “And its like, a federal law here that you can’t spend Independence Day alone.”

“I don’t know….”

“Are you feeling disloyal to your homeland because I called it Independence Day?” He teased. “I’m sure The Queen would understand.”

She smiled at that. “She’s pretty much over losing a 300 year old war.”

“Then you have no excuse.”

“I’m not sure I’m up for crashing a big family event,” she said, looking uncomfortable at the thought.

“A family of two isn’t really enough to qualify as an ‘event’.”

“Two?”

“Yeah, um, its just me and my Aunt now. My uncle was killed about 10 years ago.” Peter still couldn’t get used to that timespan. He still sometimes entered his childhood home fully to hear his Uncle voice calling from the backyard.

“And, um, your parents?” She asked hesitantly.

“They’ve been dead for even longer than that. Plane crash.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Peter.”

“It is what it is,” he replied, subconsciously mimicking the deflective shrug she’d given him all those weeks ago on her fire escape.

“My, um, parents are both gone too. When I was 14. It’s just me and my sister left.”

He gave her a small smile of understanding, knowing from experience that there really was nothing you could say in the face of that revelation.

“So will you come?” He asked again softly. “Please?”

She looked out across the Manhattan skyline, biting her lip, one of her feet tapping on the ground.

She took a deep breath and looked back at him. “Yes, I’ll come.”

———

Peter twirled the tongs in his hand, his eyes on the meat cooking on the grill, but his mind on Jane.

She was late.

Not super late. Not ‘standing him up’ late.

Just…late.

“I’m sure she’ll be here, Peter,” May said, carrying a bowl of potato salad outside.

“I knew it was too soon to invite her over,” Peter replied, checking his watch again.

“Nonsense. She just needed a little push out of her comfort zone.”

“But that ‘little push’ could backfire. She’s…skittish.”

“You make her sound like a cornered racoon,” May said, shifting the bowls of chips and dip already dotted over the picnic table to make way for the salad.

“Speaking of which…if she does turn up, and she’s rude or mean, just remember that she’s not really like tha-“

“Peter, if you like her this much, I’m sure I will too.”

Peter jerked at that, his head flying around to his Aunt. “I don’t like her like that. It’s not like that at all. You know I’m just trying to figure out this mystery surrounding her, and-”

“Peter,” May interrupted, laughing. “There’s no mystery. She’s just a shy girl you’ve taken an interest in. You’ve concocted this whole conspiracy around her to justify wanting to get to know her better. It’s alright if you want to get to know her better. It’s been a long time since Gwen,” she finished softly.

Peter turned back to the grill, contemplating May’s words. He'd already come to the realisation that he had to move on from Gwen. That she wouldn't want him to be alone and miserable forever. In fact, he had already opened himself up to that possibility with Jen, even though that had been a bust.

So what was the deal with Jane?

Had he overinflated this whole mystery thing? Did he just want to get to know her, but couldn't admit it to himself in case it went wrong with her too?

Was he attracted to Jane?

He enjoyed her company, for sure. She was intelligent, secretly kind, and she didn’t show it often but she was funny. He even thought her competitiveness was endearing. And her obvious loneliness broke his heart a bit.

But was it more than that?

His mind flashed to Jen, of their night together, and the heat between them. He didn’t feel those same sparks in Jane’s presence.

“Are you gonna get that?” May asked, drawing Peter’s attention to the ringing doorbell.

She was here.

Peter flew into the house and rushed to the front door. He flung open the door and then…just stood there, gaping at the woman on the doorstep.

She was wearing a simple, light blue sundress, held up by two thin straps. Her loose, shiny brown hair fell past her pale, freckled shoulders. Her legs were bare and her feet were clad in tan-coloured sandals.

Her toenails were painted pink.

Jane adjusted the glasses on her face. She licked her lips, which were stained with a pink gloss. “Um, sorry for being late.”

Peter shook his head, still stunned at the picture in front of him.

She was wearing heels. And her legs and arms were bare. It was more of her skin than he’d ever seen before. She was normally clad head-to-toe in black, favouring bulky sweaters, shapeless dresses and baggy jeans.

All that material had been hiding slender legs, a surprisingly small, nipped-in waist, and gently rounded breasts. The hint of cleavage peaking out of the sweetheart neckline was making his brain foggy.

Sparks.

Sparks everywhere.

“You must be the Jane I’ve heard so much about,” May said, shouldering a frozen Peter out of the way to usher Jane inside.

May chatted to her as she led her outside the house, taking her gift with thanks. “You didn’t need to bring anything.”

“I didn’t know what the Fourth of July etiquette was, so I just went with beer.”

“There is no etiquette here,” May said with a laugh. “We’re just gonna have some BBQ, so beer is perfect.”

At that moment, the clouds in the sky travelled across the sun, blocking some of the late afternoon heat. May noticed Jane shiver slightly. “Oh dear, we should have warned you we’d be dining outside. Peter,” May called out. “Why don’t you take Jane up to your old room and get her a sweater or something to wear?”

Peter recognised the gleam in his Aunt’s eyes, seeing her innocent request for what it was - a ploy to give Peter and Jane some privacy.

———

He rummaged through his closet, trying to find something suitable for Jane, his newly-found (or at least, newly-realised) attraction to her making his hands shake. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she wandered around his bedroom, reading the inscriptions on his science fair trophies and studying the photos tacked up over his desk.

The majority were candid shots of Gwen, with a few showing the two of them together.

“She’s really pretty,” Jane remarked, pointing to a shot of them together at graduation.  

“Um, yeah,” Peter replied, turning around with a balled up hoodie in his hands. “That’s Gwen. She was my girlfriend in high school…and a bit after.”

“Are you still friends?”

“Um, no. She, um, died in an accident when we were 18.”

Not long ago, that admission would have brought tears to Peter’s eyes.  The reaction never seemed to subside, no matter how much time passed. He could get through days, sometimes even weeks, without thinking of Gwen…but the moment he had to say the words out loud - that she was gone - the emotions would bubble up out of nowhere.

But something had shifted in him after catching Peter 1's MJ. It was a redemption of sorts, saving her from that fall. It broke loose some of the guilt he carried with him over Gwen's death.

Now, memories of her were bittersweet instead of painful. Her smile was the first thing that came to mind when he thought of her, not the sight of her broken body.

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry, Peter.” Jane's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

“It’s okay. You weren’t to know.” He shrugged, smoothing out the wrinkles in the hoodie.  

She was sitting on his bed now, looking at him with such sad eyes. “You’ve lost so many people, haven’t you?” She asked, almost to herself.

He shrugged again. “Sounds like you have too.”

“Yeah.” She let out a humourless laugh. “Don’t you ever want to scream at the world, how unfair it all is.”

“Sometimes,” he admitted, coming to sit beside her. “Yeah, it sometimes does feel unfair, how some people lose so much and others seem to sail through life. But I’ve come to realise over the years that you never really know what other people are going through. What may seem like an easy, charmed existence might not always be the case. So I'm trying to cut people some slack.”

“You’re much more forgiving than I’ll ever be.” She stared down at the clenched hands in her lap.

“I wasn't always. I went through a long period of feeling bitter and full of rage. But I'm getting there. So, we’ll balance each other out,” he said, bumping his shoulder against hers, trying to lighten the mood. “You can rage at the universe and I’ll just accept what it has in store for me.”

“You think the universe has a plan?” She asked, looking at him again. This close to her he could see the tiny freckles dusting her nose. And the smudge on her glasses from where she constantly adjusted them.

“I think the universe is a lot bigger and weirder than we know, so I wouldn’t be surprised at this point.”

“Well if the universe’s grand design is to put people like you through hell, then the universe can go fuck itself,” she said, with surprising fervour.

“People like me?”

She got off the bed and started pacing the small floor space, her arms wrapped around herself. She came to a stop in front of the photo collage.

“You’re a good man, Peter Parker,” she whispered to the array of pictures. “That’s why I can’t do this.”

“What are you talking about?” he said, coming to stand behind her.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” She shouldered passed him and out the door, almost running down the stairs.

“Hey, wait! Jane!” He ran after her.

She reached the front door, wrenching it open. Over her shoulder, she called, “Tell your Aunt I’m sorry. Goodbye, Peter.”

The door slammed shut just as he reached it.  

He flung it open and chased her into the front yard. Catching her arm, he spun her around. “What do you mean, ‘Goodbye’? What the hell happened up there?”

“Let me go, Peter." She squirmed in his hold, tears coming to her eyes.

“No, not until you tell me what’s going on.” He grasped her shoulders tighter, the tingles at the contact going almost unnoticed in his frantic state.

“I can’t. Just let me go.”

“No,” he yelled.

“Yes,” she yelled back, wrestling free of his hold and taking a few steps back.

The two of them breathed heavily as they stared at each other.

Peter broke the tension, turning in a circle, tugging his hair in frustration. When he spun back to her, anger took over. “What the fuck is your deal, Jane? I don’t understand you at all.”

“I know you don’t,” she whispered. “Which is why I need to go.”

She turned and walked away. Again, Peter went to chase after her, but May’s voice called him back. “Let her go, sweetheart.”

“But-“

“Let her go for now. Neither of you seem to be in a fit state to talk like rational adults. So come back inside, have something to eat, then you can see her at work on Monday.”

Peter sighed, knowing in his head that she was right.

But his heart cried out at the utter wrongness of watching Jane walk away from him.

CHAPTER 5

[that-good-trash]

Trust Me?

Bakugou x reader / Shinsou x reader

Warning: Hurt/comfort, Angst, Mentions of cheating, Happy Ending?

Word Count: 6.5k

Summary: You love your boyfriend more than anything but it seems he might not feel the same way anymore. When the same friend that planted the seed of doubt ends up your shoulder to cry on where do you go from there. 

Authors note: I’ve been dealing with a lot of stuff and this was kind of my self indulgence fic. Please Enjoy!

P.S: I was thinking about jumping on the kinktober bandwagon but I’m worried I can’t do kink justice. Maybe look out for some quick one shots if I do. I am also having to rewrite the fourth chapter of Burn Away With Me because the original file somehow ended up freaking deleted (note to self and others always back up files or make a copy). 

----------------------------------

Saturdays were meant for relaxation, for hanging out with friends without a worry. The weekend was meant to provide a chance to shed your hero uniform and trade it for a cute comfy outfit. Well that’s how weekends should be, that’s what you wish you were able to do. Instead you sat on your couch scrolling through your phone watching your friends have fun without you. Pictures of dancing and drinking continuously pass as your fingers move absentmindedly. A picture of Mina taking shots followed by photos of Kaminari on a tabletop. This always happened, you had been missing out for weeks now. However, this problem went deeper than missing a few weekend hangouts. Your boyfriend, whom you had been with for almost three years, had been canceling plans with you for the last few months. Every time you both had a day off, he always got called in or he had made previous plans. It was starting to get old. Had he always been so flaky? Had you just not noticed before or was this new. Either way you were now fully aware of his behavior and how little attention you received from him. Your screen lit up with messages from friends telling you to ‘get your ass to the club’ immediately. Oh, how you wanted too. You wished you were wearing a skimpy outfit grinding against your besties laughing and enjoying yourself. Instead of getting into your club attire you put your phone onto the coffee table. Your back hits the cushions behind you as you fall backward. A sigh slips out and you’re ready to reevaluate your life. What kind of relationship was this? You felt like you were alone, and it was starting to seep into your conscious letting that little voice grow louder and louder with doubt and self-deprivation. It took every ounce of your being to reject the thoughts, to lull yourself back into a false sense of security. Your phone ringing disrupted your thoughts good or bad.

“Hey, I was just thinking about you! I miss-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence before the deep grouchy voice of Katsuki Bakugou interrupted you.

“I won’t be home tonight. Don’t wait up for me, just eat dinner and go to bed.” He sounded like he had been sounding. He sounded tired with a swirl of irritation and it took a lot to convince yourself that it wasn’t toward you. You had to bite your bottom lip to prevent yourself from screaming at him for doing this again. You loved him, did so much for him, that it hurt for him to just blow you off. What was even worse was he didn’t even tell you why he wasn’t coming home. He just expected you to turn in early without even an explanation. You wanted to cuddle or go out with friends and he wanted you to spend the night alone.

“Suki… Why aren’t you coming home? You said last week that you were going to try to come home early.” A growl of frustration could be heard on the other side causing you to tense up. You knew you were upsetting him but that wasn’t fair. He had no right to be upset with you since you were only asking him a simple question and stating a fact. He had promised you that he would start coming home early to spend time with you. You knew that being a hero was hard, you were one. However, you also knew when someone was just making excuses and that’s what this was becoming.

“Christ woman! I have work to do! I said I would try, and I have tried. Obviously, I couldn’t make it home tonight so just listen for once and don’t wait up.” No chance of rebuttal, he had hung up immediately after snapping. That was it. The last straw. You let the tears you had been suppressing fall freely. Your phone was aggressively tossed to the ground and unfortunately your body followed it. Your knees hit the ground first before your clenched fist dug into the carpet. Your head buried itself into the carpet before a scream escaped. It was one of filled so much pent up emotion. A scream that needed to be freed, to help release you from this torture he was putting you through. You sat back on the balls of your feet, your hands swiping at your eyes rubbing the tears into your skin. You cried more causing your hands to rub harder, your skin stung and burned from the aggressive motion. Your phone chimed bring your attention back to it. Your hand held the device hoping for an apology but instead read the newest text from Mina. It was another invite, but the party had moved from the club to Yaoyorozu’s house. A smirk replaced your previous forlorn look. You stood up from the floor letting all sadness be hidden away by pettiness. If he could ditch you like that, go back on a promise so easily then you could go against him. He wanted you to stay home like a good girl, but you didn’t feel like being that good girl. You had never changed so fast in your life. Your pajamas were traded in for a formfitting outfit, one your kept for special Mina party occasions. You looked at yourself in the mirror with gleaming confidence. You outfit accentuated all your nooks and crannies. You looked smoking hot and with some simple yet stunning makeup you were ready to go. A quick text to Mina and you left the cold lonely apartment

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The party wasn’t over the top and thankfully everyone there was a former classmate. You waved as a few people turned to look at you. Sero had to do a double take to make sure he was witnessing reality and not a ghost. You rolled your eyes as his tape grabbed your wrist before a swift yank had you in his arms. A soft chuckle escaped from your lips that were buried in his chest. He smelled like cedar and felt warm. You let your body relax against his as he let you go but kept his hand on your waist. Kaminari had abandoned his post next to Jiro and rushed over. Before he could try and snatch you away from Sero a new pair of arms circled you. Mina was smiling against you neck as she stuck his tongue out at a now pouting Kaminari.

“I’m so glad you actually decided to make it tonight. We were starting to think you hated us.” You shook your head at the fake hurt in her voice. The boys weren’t helping since they nodded along with Mina. You pulled out his grasp backing away so you could see all three of them. They really had changed in the short span of time since you had seen them. Sero was rocking a cool new undercut while Kaminari seemed a little more built. Mina had also cut her hair, but you knew that since you basically stalked your friends.

“I’m so sorry guys. It’s been crazy, work and home have been a little hectic.” A scoff could be heard behind you. Everyone’s eyes shifted to Uraraka who had her arms crossed. Midoriya stood behind her awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. Uraraka’s puffed out cheeks mimicked that of a chipmunk. You raised a brow at her strange behavior. “Did I say something to offend you.”

“No but why lie? We all know that the reason we don’t see you anymore is because of Bakugou.” Your eyes widened at her straightforward accusation. You looked at Midoriya waiting for him to comment but he remained silent, probably in fear of getting involved. You narrow your eyes trying to hold some dignity. “Bakugou and I are fine okay. I just haven’t had the time to make it to any hang outs because I spend time with him.”

Now everyone was looking at you. For being the only sober person in the room you were sounding like the drunk one. Everyone knew that Bakugou had been blowing off plans with you. It was inevitably that they found out since most everyone talks, and things get around. A sigh that matched the one back at your apartment came out. You looked defeated as you returned to Sero’s side. He rubbed your side while Mina shooed everyone’s attention off you. “You don’t have to talk about it but we’re here for you.”

“Thanks guys…” You closed your eyes trying to let your emotions settle before returning to the fun party you had yet to enjoy and partake in. When you reopened your eyes, a smile followed. You were going to have fun even if it killed you. Mina squealed when you asked for a drink and before you knew it one turned to three. Uraraka had ditched her sour attitude and replaced it with giggles as the two of you danced together. You broke free from Uraraka as you watched Kirishima walk through the front door. You didn’t even give the boy a chance to take off his coat before you were tackling him. He was shocked to see you at the party just like the others had been.

“What are you doing out so late? Isn’t Bakubro’s bedtime at 8pm.” Kirishima was able to get a laugh out of you along with the other members of the Bakusquad.

“Yeah his bedtime would be 8pm if he ever came home. He’s always working late. I never see him anymore.” As the words left your lips you felt the air grow cold. Tension was evident. You froze as you felt your blood run cold. There was an unspoken understanding, but you knew that Kirishima wasn’t going to remain silent. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly which was accompanied by a shaky laugh that turned into him clearing his throat.

“I might be wrong but Bakugou hasn’t been working late… I was one of the last people to leave the office. Bakugou left at his usual time…” You wanted to pretend to be ignorant, but this couldn’t be swept under the rug. You couldn’t act like you hadn’t just been told that your boyfriend had been lying to you for months. Oh god your stomach began to churn, and you pushed passed him and through the front door. You ran into someone before turning and throwing up into one of the planters. Sero and Mina ran after you. Kirishima stood in the doorway feeling guilty but also pissed knowing that the person at fault was his best friend. You felt a comforting hand on your back rubbing it gently. You assumed Mina but when you finally turned around your eyes met with lavender ones. A broken smile cracked across your face. He held his arms open and you ran into them without hesitation. Shinsou had always been there for you when you were both attending UA, but time was cruel, and you couldn’t remember the last time you felt secure in his tight embrace. You sobbed and he just let you. Your friends stood by watching with conflicting emotions.

“What the hell did that asshole do now.” Shinsou was never one to speak to you like you were fragile; he was always blunt and honest. He also never approved of your relationship so of course he’d blame your current state on Bakugou. You wanted to tell Shinsou but couldn’t get the words out. Thankfully you had friends who could speak for you. Sero was the one who spoke up. “She found out that Bakugou hasn’t been staying at work late. She is obviously thinking the worst but he’s probably training or visiting his parents.”

“Bakugou? I just saw him at that fancy restaurant that we went to for Midoriya’s birthday. He was there with some busty bimbo. They seemed pretty interested in the conversation they were sharing. She must be a client or some woman after an interview.” Shinso knew exactly what he was doing when he told you about the mystery woman. He hated hurting you, but it was a necessary evil. Shinsou had always had feelings for you even before he understood them. You were always by his side cheering him on and now he was going to do the same for you. Before he could build you back up, he’s having to let you crumble under the lies Bakugou told you. Your eyes shimmered with unshed tears and a storm was brewing. Your fists were clenched, and your friends hesitated to approach you. You swiftly turned around walking passed everyone back inside before grabbing your keys and leaving. You could hear your friends yelling for you, but you never stopped. Shinsou watched your car drive off into the distance. He knew this was going to end terribly but he would be there to catch you. Thankfully since the ground was already starting to give out.

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“Where the hell have you been!” Bakugou almost dropped his keys as you tried to quietly enter your shared apartment. He turned growling at your accusatory tone. He slammed the door before turning to you. In the light that was cast from the hallway you could see his hair was disheveled, his shirt was wrinkled, and you could swear he smelled a little sweeter than usual. The signs all shone brightly in front of you. Bakugou approached you ready to start an argument over your attitude but stopped when he saw your eyes. They were sunken in, bloodshot, and lifeless. He had never seen you like this. His expression softened before he reached up to cup your cheek. His hand never got to touch you before it was smacked away. “What the fuck Y/n!”

“Who is she… Actually, I don’t want to know. I just want to know why.” Bakugou wasn’t expecting your accusation so he couldn’t help but look shocked. Guilt seemed to creep over him before it was covered up with denial and anger. He scoffed and walked past you toward the bedroom. He didn’t make it before you had spun him around yelling this time. “WHY THE HELL DID YOU CHEAT!”

“SHUT THE HELL UP WOMAN! I DIDN’T DO SHIT! Who the fuck filled your head with such idiotic thoughts? Did you go out with those idiots again? Was it raccoon eyes or maybe that shitty Deku. Whoever told you that is a liar and needs a fucking hobby?” Bakugou yanked his arm away before heading into the bathroom to shower, no doubt to hide the evidence of his infidelity. You wanted to keep shouting and accusing him, but you knew it was pointless. If Bakugou thought he was innocent then he was no matter what kind of proof you had, which was none. Giving up was not an option and as much as this was your home you had to leave. Your chest tightened as you packed your bags. The only sound keeping you company was the shower Bakugou was currently occupying. You wrote a note and gently placed it onto your pillow before turning to leave. You felt your heart stop as Bakugou stared at you wide eyed. You felt like a deer in the headlight. He walked toward you, his hand reaching behind you to grab the note. He read it to himself before burning it in his grip. You flinched at the heat the radiated directly to your left. Bakugou growled as he loomed over you. “So, you’re leaving huh. You think you can just write a fucking note and disappear into the night. You aren’t going anywhere.”

A scream escaped as he grabbed you pushing you into the bed. His hands holding your arms above your head. He smirked as his towel fell at his feet. His grip tightened when you resisted. His knee pushing your legs apart. He shifted onto the bed never letting go of you and never moving his knee which was painfully pressed against you. “What the fuck are you doing Bakugou!”

“You think I’m cheating? Then I’ll just give you the attention you seem to be so deprived of to come up with such bullshit accusations.” You didn’t want this. You didn’t want his hand aggressively holding you down, you didn’t want his knee pushing against your crotch, you didn’t want his teeth biting into your neck like some kind of feral animal. You needed to get away. Your head smashed into his face allowing you the time you needed to get out from underneath him. He cursed while holding his bleeding nose. You grabbed your bags bolting to the front door but before you could open it, he caught you. His arms holding your waist from behind. You let out another scream of fear and agony before the back of your head smashed into his nose, again. A growl slipped out and you finally got the door open. Before you could make your escape Bakugou’s fingers slipped into your hair yanking you back. His lips touched your ear and you could smell the blood flowing freely down his lips. “She felt a million times better than you.”

No words came out instead a choked sob and a whimper as you felt him let you go. You didn’t even hear the door slam you were already out of the apartment complex and in your car. Your hands shook as you called the only person you could think to be awake. “Hey Y/n, what’s wrong?

“Shinsou, I need you.”

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Bakugou tried to call you a million times after you left but to no avail. You had even blocked his number. He tried to find out where you had gone but no one would share that information with him. He had even gone to your agency but all they could tell him was that you were on a leave of absence. Bakugou truly had fucked up with no sign of reconciliation. It had been a week of trying to find you and failing. Mina, Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima claimed that they hadn’t heard from you which wasn’t really a lie. They knew that you left Bakugou and that you were crashing at Shinsou’s, but they had yet to visit. Everyone was worried about you, but they didn’t know the truth. They knew you had some kind of falling out but that was it. They had no idea what had actually happened.

“Are you going to lay in bed all day or are you going to actually get up.” Shinsou was teasing you as he slipped on his hoodie that he had to steal back from you. The day that you called him he was ready to break Bakugou’s jaw. He couldn’t believe what you had gone through and he partially felt like he was to blame for telling you about the girl, however you had the right to know that your boyfriend had been cheating on you. Shinsou had tried to make you as comfortable as he could but you were starting to get stir crazy.

“Why am I hiding when he’s the jerk who hurt me!” Shinsou shrugged as you threw his blanket off your body. You rolled out of his bed and stood in front of him pouting. He ruffled your hair while rolling his eyes at your outburst. He had dealt with multiple versions of you over the last few days. Sad, angry, regretful, spiteful, and any emotion in-between.

“Y/n, you don’t have to hide. You are safe with me, but you shouldn’t feel like you aren’t safe out there either. You can go back to your normal life. He won’t hurt you. I promise.” You knew that Shinsou was right and it was time to return to your normal life. Your arms wrap around him before you kiss his cheek thanking him. Before he can respond you run off to shower. He smiles to himself before calling out to you that he’s leaving and will see you later. After you shower you spend some time laying in bed texting Mina that you needed a girl’s day. She was in no way against it and told you she would meet you at her favorite coffee shop downtown. You changed into a cute skirt and one of Shinsou’s shirts that was a little baggy, that you tucked into the skirt. It was a casual and comfy outfit. You grabbed your purse and your phone before leaving the comfort of Shinsou’s apartment.

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“Y/N!” Mina had trapped you in her hug eliciting a laugh from you. She pulled away and grabbed your face looking you over for any sign or marks that you could have possibly obtained from Bakugou. “You’re okay right?”

“Yes Mina. I’m… I’m not really that okay. I’m still coping with Bakugou using me, cheating on me, just overall destroying me. I’m mad at myself for trusting him for as long as I had.” You leaned your head into Mina’s hand feeling shitty once again. Mina pinched the cheek against her palm causing you to groan in slight pain. She looked sad; she was sad. She cared so much about you and it broke her heart knowing that you were still suffering. She was still missing details of what happened, but she was able to piece some things together after Bakugou drunk called her apologizing for what he had done to you. She was sick to her stomach and wanted nothing more than to call you and apologize herself. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you.”

“Mina you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m a big girl, I’ll be okay. And I haven’t been dealing with it alone. I’ve been staying at Shinsou’s.” That once sad look was quick to change into one of cat like curiosity. You had said the magic words.

“Shinsou hm.” You shoved Mina as the two of you entered the shop to actually get coffee. “I NEED ALL THE DETAILS.”

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“Bakugou you can’t be serious.” Kirishima had been following Bakugou after they ended an all-nighter at work. Bakugou was ignoring Kirishima while heading to his destination. He had gotten a text from Kaminari that you were meeting with Mina. Kaminari hadn’t meant to send that information, he didn’t even remember sending it until Kirishima called him screaming about it. Bakugou already made up his mind, he needed to see you. To tell you how much he fucked up. He needed you back, for you to understand how much he loved you. He regretted everything he had said, he had done. Kirishima had tried to talk some sense into him but he failed. Bakugou thought what he was doing was right and stopping him meant nothing. No one gets in his way.

“Mina wait up you are walking to fast.” Mina had run ahead after seeing something in the widow of a shop that she thought would look amazing on you. You had to stop and let a few cars pass before trying to cross to meet your overly excited friend. The moment your foot moved forward your arm was yanked backward. You gasped before trying to pull it away from whoever grabbed you. As you turned to free yourself you came face to face with something worse than a stranger harassing you. Bakugou’s piercing red eyes were staring into yours, a jolt of fear rushed through you causing hair to stand up and your muscles to tense. People walked by with curiosity since neither of you tried hard to hide your identity. What was ground zero doing with Hero/Name? You didn’t care what random people on the streets were saying or thinking. What mattered right now was getting the hell away him. You yanked harder but his grip just tightened.

“Please, Y/n I need to talk to you.” His voice came out pleading. He was begging you to stay and listen but every fiber in your body told you to run or fight. You let your arm go limp like you were giving in. “Thank you.”

Bakugou smiled but that was literally smacked off his face when you swung your free arm back before delivering a swift punch. Bakugou grunted in pain letting you go so he could touch his hand to his nose. You hadn’t meant to hit him that hard but technically he shouldn’t have touched you, so it was justified. “Y/N!”

“Don’t Bakugou!” Bakugou had reached for you again while Kirishima ran at him trying to prevent this from escalating. Mina had realized what was going on by now and was running toward you. Her and Kirishima were trying to prevent exactly what was about to happen. Bakugou caught you before you could run. His hands held your arms tightly, the fingers digging aggressively into them. You could feel how hot they were, and you were scared that he would use his quirk. You didn’t want to show fear to him. Instead you mustered up a face of pure disgust. “You don’t get to touch me. LET GO OF ME!”

“Will you shut the hell up for a fucking second. I just wanted to talk to you. You disappeared and I had no idea where you went, and I was worried believe it or not. I’ve been kicking my own ass over the shit I said to you.” You stood there letting a man who cheated on you, a man who used you and hurt you, tell you that he was worried that he was regretful. He held you like you owed him this. That was all bullshit. Your shoulders shook as you dropped your head biting back tears that you felt he didn’t deserve. “I love you Y/n.”

The world had been moving just a moment ago and yet now everything seemed to stop. Time stood still but the words echoed. Mina and Kirishima faded out of existence leaving only you and Bakugou. If this was a romance movie it would be followed by you throwing your arms around Bakugou before kissing him. This was real life and you felt no positive emotions. Bakugou’s grip never loosened and his eyes remained staring intensely into your own. He wasn’t going to let you go till you responded. However, no matter how you responded if it wasn’t in favor to what he said then you may as well have remained silent. You felt your heart race from the stress he was forcing onto you. The regret reflected in the crimson orbs almost made you feel guilty. You had loved him. You had given him years of your love and he shattered in along with your trust. You had spend the week crying till your eyes were swollen, screaming until your lungs begged for a break, pleading with some other worldly being to help you get over this pain, and wondering what you could have done to prevent this from ever happening. To say you didn’t love Bakugou would be a lie. You loved him more than some stupid romance. You loved the way he growled in response when he was bothered, you loved the way he never gives up, you loved his honest laugh in which he truly thought something was funny or enjoyable, you loved the way he would kiss you and run his hand through your hair when he thought you were asleep. You loved and still love so much of him but as you look at him those feelings twist like gnarled tree branches and you feel yourself choking back vomit. When you closed your eyes you could picture a woman running her hands along Bakugou’s exposed body, you could hear them panting and moaning, you could hear the secretive whispers, and you could smell the sweet and salty after sex scent they would leave behind. These things were what you dealt with, they hallucinations that haunted you after his cruel revelation. The cheating wasn’t the only thing haunting you. His hands holding you against your will, his teeth biting into you with no consent, and the fingers that entangled into your hair pulling with enough force to bruise. You had experienced fights before, but this was had been different, you were afraid and disgusted with that version of Bakugou. This Bakugou in front of you was the same one just using sad eyes and words of endearment to trap you so he could lock you up properly and punish you for leaving.

“Y/n… please say something.” The world was moving or at least is seemed like you were a part of the rotation once again. People were watching the two of you, but you didn’t notice. You couldn’t break eye contact. Your lips were pressed so tightly together that you were afraid if you tried to open them, they would be glued shut. A dry mouth and cracking lips prompted you to have to unseal your lips as your drying tongue attempted to rehydrate your lips. What could you say that would make any of this better? Was there anything that could even be said anymore. You wanted this to just stop but didn’t know how to make that happen.

“Pro hero Mind Control has everybody on edge with the news of this important somebody he’s been hiding from us.” The moment you heard Shinsou’s hero name the world was back to normal. Your eyes broke from Bakugou’s turning to look directly at the large screen across the street. Shinsou’s figure stood proudly on the screen before it changed to an interview. You watched the woman across from him ask questions. “So, who is this mystery person that you claim means the world to you. Someone so important that you have taken off a week of hero duties to be with them. “

You were the only person on the street watching this interview play. Mina’s voice once again crossed your ears as she yelled at Bakugou to let you go. Kirishima was going to grab his friend but stopped when you gasped. Bakugou had harshly shook you to return your attention to him. His eyes held a little anger and he seemed to have lost patience. “Y/n –“

“This person is someone I love deeply; someone I’d do anything for. I want her to know what love truly is. I love Y/n L/n. Many of you know her as Hero/name…” The rest of the words faded off as you cried. Bakugou had you at the brink of them but hearing this message broadcast to the world had them freely spilling over. A laugh broke beyond your splitting lips. Your fingers dug into Bakugou’s hands yanking them off you. He looked co conflicted, anger and fear blended. You didn’t care about what he was feeling because you finally felt like something was okay. Your hands covered your mouth as you tried so badly not to squeal. You felt the happiness fade as your wrist was trapped in Bakugou’s grip. He wasn’t going to let you go without a proper answer especially now that the world knew what Shinsou thought of you. “Bakugou please let go of me. This… this is crazy. You need to let me go because I… I’m letting you go.”

Bakugou watched you pull your wrist free. He watched you look up at the screen as it played the end of the interview. A smiling Shinsou stood on the screen giving you the confidence you needed. Bakugou wanted to let you leave but he couldn’t. When he looked at your smile, he couldn’t help remembering the times it was for him. You were his everything and now you were slipping from his fingers and into the arms of another man. You turned away from Bakugou smiling at Mina who was also shedding tears. Kirishima finally moved forward and caught his best friend’s arm. Bakugou looked back at Kirishima who mouthed for him to stop. He quickly looked back at you. You were now wrapped safely in Mina’s arms. The two of you sharing a moment that would live with you forever. He let his shoulders drop before turning around. He shoved off Kirishima’s arm before his hands found a home in his jacket pockets. He left you under the screen, now playing an advertisement for some useless product, hugging your best friend while crying over a happiness that you deserved. He walked away, one million regrets coursing through his veins. The one thing he wouldn’t regret was you.

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“Where the hell are the rest of the guests.” You rolled your eyes while Momo held your face still. You could hear Mina bitching in the background about the missing members of your former class. She had made sure that everyone had been invited and was keeping tabs of who had arrived. You could hear Uraraka enter the room with an excited scream. She could see your refection in the large mirror in front of you. Mina grabbed onto the girl so they could be over excited together. You felt so much joy watching them feel this happy for you. Momo had been doing you hair and makeup for what felt like hours and you needed to get into the dress hidden behind the bag hanging on the door. You felt a million things; nervousness, excitement, utterly in love. Not once did you feel regret. You could never regret this. You were about to spend the rest of your life with the person that you loved and truly loved you. It had only been six months since the day you and Bakugou had the confrontation in the middle of a busy street, the same one that broadcast the life changing news.

“Y/n!” You turned after the third time your name was yelled. Mina was pouting holding up the dress. She had a shimmer in her eyes and you almost told her not to cry or she’d ruin her makeup. She’d just tell you to shut up. “Yes Mina.”

“It’s time.” All three girls in the room with you had that glossiness to their eyes as they watched you slip the dress on. It fit perfectly, like it was meant to. You were a different person as you stared at your reflection. This was something you had always dreamed about and here you were living a fantasy, but it wasn’t. It was reality. A knock on the door was followed by the voice of Sero. “Let’s get this show on the road ladies.”

The girls opened the door shoving through the waiting boys who were cackling until they saw you. Kaminari pretended to faint while Sero whistled. Both boys admired you and they honestly thought you looked beyond stunning. You were a single star in an almost pitch-black sky, you just needed to walk down an aisle to find another star so you wouldn’t be so lonely. The music started up and you nodded at your best friends. They smiled back leading the way to your destiny.

“Nervous?” Midoriya had whispered to Shinsou as he stood next to him. He looked over the crowd or friends and former classmates. They all watched with bated breath. You were the star of this event. Of course, Shinsou was nervous. He was marrying the girl of his dreams, the person that gave him purpose. Shinsou watched and when you arrived at the end of the aisle, he felt everything disappear. The guests were gone, his friends gone, the whole world meant nothing. It was black and you were the only light he could see. The way your hair was styled held together by pins and clips hidden underneath a white veil. You were a mystery that he already knew everything about. Like a child who still waited for gifts on Christmas but knew Santa wasn’t real. The way your skin shimmered like rare and brilliant gemstones made Shinsou feel like he wasn’t worthy. Your dress moved so smoothly around and against every curve and bump your body had. Your body made the dress gorgeous, gave it value. He couldn’t see your eyes behind the veil, but he could imagine them. They held stars in them, creating galaxies that he had gotten lost in so many times. Your eyes had depth to them, they told a story and its cliché but its his favorite story. Shinsou hadn’t realized he was crying until your hand gently touched his cheek. Your veil had been flipped over your head revealing your own tears. Shinsou leaned into your touch his own hand moving to cup your face as well. If it hadn’t been for the vows, he would have kissed you right then. You both shared a silent moment of unconditional love before the wedding continued.

The vows could have been skipped because anything you both had to say then you had already said before. No words could ever truly describe how you felt about each other because it was more than just words. Your relationship was based on actions, words, looks, gestures; everything and anything you both did for and around the other mattered as an expression of love. He had tried so hard to make up for everything you had to suffer, and he knew that you might have moments where you questioned him, but he always made sure to have answers or words of reassurance. He never wanted to hurt you and he swore on his life that he wouldn’t.

“I do.” You had spoken the binding words and Shinsou followed. The kiss was simple and yet it held so much meaning. It meant more than the rings. It was something Shinsou would never forget. Everyone cheered and some people cried. Mina was holding onto Uraraka both girls sobbing, Midoriya squeezed Shinsou’s shoulder giving him a thumbs up while his own ducts betrayed him.

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“You look so god damn beautiful.” A drunk Kaminari was hanging off you while you chatted away with guests. Mina yanked him off scolding him for his behavior before shooing him away. You laughed not minding at all. While you stood amongst friends who showered you with congratulations and compliments, Shinsou stood leaning against one of the walls near the bar. He had watched you cherishing these moments. He turned when he heard a familiar voice enter his vicinity. He turned in time to see Kirishima and Bakugou walking toward you. He was quick to make his way back to your side in case of any bad blood. Bakugou scoffed when Shinsou appeared but didn’t give him any attention. You smiled at the blonde and red head. Kirishima told you how happy he was for you before leaving the three of you alone.

“Are you happy?”

“Yes.” It was the simplest exchange you had ever had with Bakugou, but it meant a lot to you both. He needed to know that you had finally found the love and happiness you desired and deserved. You needed to know that he was able to let you go without fight. He nodded and hugged you whispering his congratulations. You thanked him before Momo’s voice came over the speakers announcing the first dance starting. Shinsou waved you to the dance floor promising to join you in a moment. He waited for you to leave before looking at Bakugou. Bakugou waited for a threat or some kind of scolding but nothing came. Shinsou remained silent. Bakugou took this opportunity to speak.

“Thank you for taking care of her. I can tell you make her happy and that’s what really matters.” Shinsou still remained silent and Bakugou continued. “I do have a question though. Y/n said I had been cheating and in an angry moment I basically said I was even though I hadn’t done so. Shitty hair told me you told her you had seen me with some woman. I don’t remember going to that restaurant with anyone other than coworkers or interviewers.”

“I lied.” Bakugou stood there frozen with wide eyes. He slowly turned to catch a glimpse of Shinsou’s smirk and a slight darkness behind his eyes. “I lied to Y/n about seeing you with some broad. I knew she would believe me, and I had my doubts about your faithfulness. I should be thanking you for verifying my lie. You made a single lie into an irrefutable truth all because you wanted to hurt her”

Shinsou walked away heading toward you. He never spared Bakugou a second glance as he grabbed your hands kissing them. You giggled before the music began. Bakugou stood with Shinsou’s reveal on his shoulders. In the end he was the one who destroyed your trust but Shinsou admitted to planting the seed of doubt. But all that mattered now was your happiness, right?

[imagine-loki]

.....And that’s enough for you

TITLE: … and that’s enough for you  ONE SHOT AUTHOR: ValarieRavenhearst2  ORIGINAL IMAGINE :Imagine getting blind drunk at a nightclub with your friends and Loki protesting that you should head home but you keep saying you’re ‘fine’. After the fourth time you stumble over he’s had enough and throws you over his shoulder and takes you home to look after you.

RATING: 

NOTES: Was gunna make it nasty but ended being happy with cute fluff. 

  The atmosphere at the Avengers base was brimming with excitement as the day was drawing to a close. Friday. Just about all the cadets and agents were ready to hit the town and get the weekend started. Some members who live off the base are arriving back to pick up their friends after getting ready individually. Reverie, an intelligence agent whose role and position has been a constant roller coaster for the past two years, arrives back so that she can have pre-drinks with her friends (who are classed as the rowdy bunch on the base). She had been an active rising star field agent until she was injured in an explosion which resulted in her being benched in intelligence until her performance could be up to scratch again. But since she showed such exceptional skills in her benched field – nobody bothered to hurry the process along. Then along came a certain God of Mischief who needed a lot of one on one time. The job description was more of a Handler but it became a very flexible title. They needed someone who could earn his trust and keep him calm because the directors were all nervous of the murderous persona that was hidden underneath that charming smile. After it was revealed that his war crimes were influenced under the power of the Mind Stone everyone kind of had to just ‘forgive’ him. The exact details are on a need to know basis but currently he’s living on his own wing of the base so that he can be well monitored (just in case). If the Avengers aren’t doing a group mission then he generally stays on the base and keeps to himself. And since he’s generally well behaved the ‘handler’ position has become a flexible term, leaving Reverie’s career once again up in the air.

    Reverie enters the common area of the living quarters where music is already pumping through the speakers as the girls get ready. They all come take a round of shots and some warm up selfies before Reverie goes to check on Loki for the night. She finds him quickly heading back to his quarters and he stops to admire his friend’s striking appearance. He seldom sees her in such a casual attire. Her low cut mini dress was positively revealing, and arousing. The skirt hem swishes around the middle of her thighs as she walks and the neck line scoops over the tops of her breasts to show as much cleavage as possible before they are practically popping out. Though the mesh sleeves and covering runs across her collar bones for that extra layer of security. Loki’s eyes sparkle mischievously with glee as Reverie dances through the hallway to stop him.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” She sings, wrapping her arms over his shoulders, which she can reach with ease thanks to her stilettos.

“I was about to ask you the same thing?” He flashes her an accusing grin as his hands come to rest respectively above her waist.

“It’s Friday, come out with us.” She pleas and he mockingly rolls his eyes at her.

“Hmm, I’ll have to think about it.” He muses and she presses her body against his as she tugs gently on his neck.

“Please…” She pleads, not planning on taking no for an answer.

“I’m just so awfully busy at the moment.”

“Oh phft, we both know you are just going to go to your room and do nothing. Come on, come live a little.” She forces him to slow dance with her which evokes a small chuckle. “It’ll be fun.” She promises but again he declines as he twirls her out of his arms and keeps walking. “Loki, please?” She makes one last attempt, wanting to spend the night with her closest friend.

“Go have fun, Reve, you don’t need me for that.” He waves over his shoulder and she slumps in defeat, knowing that she can never pull him out quickly from a brooding state.

“Well we all know that’s just a lie.” She calls and she can hear him chuckle in the distance before she too, turns on her heel back to the party. She enters the common room again as everyone is ordering cars and taking shots. Katie, another intelligence officer looks at her with an encouraging smile moving her hands to ask whether or not the god of mischief would be joining. She shakes her head with a exaggerated pout before taking a shot. Katie matches her expression but doesn’t bombard her with questions, not wanting to upset her as she knows how much she actually wanted Loki to come. Another girl however loudly boos, commenting how good it was that one time Loki actually came out. Reverie remembers the time fondly, it had indeed been a sensational night. Though it had ended poorly the next day when her boyfriend had thrown a fit about her being so ‘friendly’ with the god. She had actually made out on a dare with two of her other friends as a joke but that was okay “’cause who doesn’t love girl on girl action’ as he put it. But god forbid Loki hugging her around the waist.    Not that it was public knowledge yet, but Reverie’s boyfriend had broken up with her suddenly, leaving Rev reeling in confusion. She had only told Katie because she had caught her having a moment at work earlier in the week. So with her cupids wings on, Katie sneaks out to go get Loki. She sprints across the compound as fast as her high heeled shoes will allow before she begins knocking wildly on his door. When the stubborn bastard takes forever to open up the door she begins calling out. When he does open the door, he appears less than impressed – his scowl would have broken a weaker person.

“You have to come out.” She insists and he just rolls his eyes as he goes to berate her for acting like someone had been shot. “Listen, no on knows, but Reve and Nathen broke up.” She informs, still deciding whether or not she will regret spilling her friend’s secrets. “And you’re her friend so that means you have to come out and support her.” Loki’s eyes widen in contemplation – he can’t say he’s sorry. He hated that little punk but held his tongue for the sake of Rev. He wonders why she hadn’t told him herself? Katie can feel his demeanour softening so she continues to probe him. “Come on, it’ll be fun, she just needs to have a good time and she can’t fully do that unless she’s got her trickster god by her side.” He finally reluctantly agrees and before Katie can order them a cab he says he’ll drive as  Midgardian alcohol doesn’t get him drunk any way.   When the two late comers finally show up at the club Reverie is on her fifth drink and positively buzzing. When she sees Loki swimming through a sea of mortals to get to her she is absolutely elated; cheering with both her arms in the air. She hugs him tightly, trying not to spill her drink on him. She has to yell over the throbbing music even though she’s holding him.

“You came.” She observes with exuberance at her best friend’s sudden appearance, barely making out his appearance between each seizuring strobe light.

“I decided I needed to live a little.” His lips are practically on her ear as they speak. She pulls him on to the dance floor with the other girls who are just as pleased to see him; coming up to grind themselves up on him to welcome him to the dance circle.    With every passing hour Loki notices Reverie trying to drink her body weight and tries to lightly encourage her to slow down. But she continuously boasts that she is fine and continues to dance like there’s no tomorrow. When she’s out of the safety of his embrace he watches as she stumbles spectacularly and he rushes to her thinking that for sure her ankle must be broken. But as he reaches her she’s already back up and bobbing like nothing happened. He already suspects that she’ll be in a world of hurt tomorrow. The night begins to merge into morning and the club shows no sign of slowing down, in fact it becomes fuller and Loki struggles to locate his troubled little friend in a sea of darkness as the strobe lights become disorientating. When he finally catches a glimpse of her, she’s bent up against a wall table taking shots with her friends whilst a group of guys come up behind her and try to start groping her as she dances. Startled by their actions she flinches to try and manoeuvre away but the crowding causes her to stumble. Before she can hit the ground Loki is pulling her back up and into him. With his free arm he slams one of the guy’s head into the table and throws him backwards; and in the strobing light no one is the wiser. Reverie begins to say that she is fine but Loki argues, throwing her over his shoulder and marching out. He piles her into the back seat of his car and switches on the child lock. Her body aches with relief as her legs begin to ache from exhaustion so she doesn’t persist with arguing but manages to sit herself up so she can see him in the rear view mirror.

“Where are we going?” A yawn overtakes her as her body relaxes in to the leather upholstery.

“I’m taking you home.” He tries not to sound too much like an overprotective parent and reminds himself not to chide her.

“Okay.” She shrugs easily, her mind happy to be able to fully shut off as it doesn’t have to worry about getting a way home. “I promise I didn’t invite you to be my deso.” She adds.

“I know.” He chuckles lightly, observing her sitting contently, her head rolling side to side with every turn and bump.  

“When am I going to see you drunk?” She babbles. They’ve shared many drinks together and she’s never even seen him tipsy all because of his godly stature.

“Well unless we raid the cellars of Asgard, then never.” He jokes and she leans forward to rest her head on the edge of his seat.

“I’d do that with you.” She promises and wholeheartedly means it. “When do you want to go? We can go right now, sneak in through some tunnels, you dad would never even know we were there.” She begins to formulate and Loki laughs robustly, reaching over to pat her on top of her head.

“Oh I’m sure you would be such an inconspicuous little thief, stumbling around in those ridiculous stilts.”

“Look, buddy,” she hiccups, “we’re not all born with giraffe necks for legs, so we’ve got to get a little creative.” She continues to make him laugh all the way to her drive way, then he helps her out of the car with a supportive arm around her as they walk up the front path. After a brief moment of searching for her keys, Loki just waves his hand over the door and the locks open. “Thanks magic boy.” She mumbles as she stumbles over the threshold, throwing her purse over somewhere and pulling off her heels. Her legs scream in protest at the sudden change in angle and she almost wishes to just cut them off. Loki scoops her up before she can have a tantrum and carries her off to her room; placing her in the middle of her bed. With no energy to open her eyes she lays still, hearing Loki move about her room. “I don’t want to get ready for bed.” She whines as her limbs ache but her mind refuses to let her sleep with her face still caked with makeup. Luckily everything she needs should be within arm’s reach because she planned for this. “Will you help me?” She pleads as she stretches out her body and her arms become stuck above her head.

“Of course I will.” She feels him crawl on to the bed, climbing on top of her to straddle her hips. “What would you like me to do?” He questions, his tone playful as his fingers lightly caress up and down her sides. She giggles as she thinks of many things she would actually like him to do.

“Can you pass me the wipes, they should just be over there somewhere.” Her fingers point in the vicinity of her bedside chest as her arms go to sleep momentarily. Loki reaches across effortlessly and retrieves the packet, pulling a towelette out he begins wiping away the layer of makeup that covers her face starting at her chin. She giggles hysterically which causes his own laughter to rumble with hers. “It tickles,” she laughs and he tries to be more firm to cease her babbling amusement. The black glitter on her eyes is more hesitant to be removed and smudges all around her eyes.

“How on earth were you going to do this alone?” He questions as this task is becoming harder then he thought.

“I don’t know.” She mumbles with a drunken smile, she’s always gotten it off before. The stars just must align at this time. “You need to take the lashes off.” She informs and she would have laughed if she could see Loki’s startled expression.

“How?” His voice goes high as if he’s watching someone give birth.

“You just pull them off.” She tries to wake her arms up so that she can do it herself but it’s going to take a little bit of manoeuvring. Loki gently touches the lashes before gently trying to peel them off. When the first one begins to pull away he makes an uncomfortable groan which sounds like he’s watching someone have surgery on their eyeballs. “It’s not that bad,” she giggles, her arms coming back to life.

“Why on earth do you do this to yourself?” He mockingly questions as he can’t see a substantial reason behind this peculiar task.

“Too make myself look pretty.” She laughs as she’s able to force her eyes open again when he’s finished.

“Reve, you’re already stunning.” She looks up at him and becomes saddened by the adoration she sees in him.

“Nathan doesn’t think so.” She whispers with a mirthless smile as she tries not to cry.

“Then he’s blundering bilgesnipe.” He cups her face gently and kisses her forehead, “why didn’t you tell me you broke up?” He questions as he caress her hair gently.

“I don’t know.” She continues to whisper so she can’t hear the sadness in her tone, “it just makes me sad. And I wasn’t ready for everyone’s harsh opinions.” She shrugs as she avoids his gaze by playing with the buttons on his shirt.

“You know you don’t have to hide things from me.” He adjusts his body so he’s gently laying on top of her as he kisses her cheek gently. “I’ll always listen.” A small squeak emits in her throat as she wills away the tears; holding his head down so he doesn’t see her cry. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles against her pulse. “He wasn’t worthy of you.”

“Thank you.” She sniffles and blinks away her welling tears. Content and happy in his arms she allows herself to drift off again and when she’s calm Loki finishes getting her ready for bed before joining her; laying down next to her with a protective arm draped across her.

[maladaptiv3]

Good Fit

((couldn’t decide which picture I liked better)) 

Content: request from anon - “Could I request meeting Colson for the first time through Pete? Like knowing Pete since before and meeting Colson at a party hosted by Pete and getting along right away?”

Warnings: Smut!! Swearing!!

Word Count: 3,168 (I got carried away)

*original content by colsonbakes*

You had grown up on the east coast but recently relocated to Los Angeles for a publishing job. Fortunately, every few weeks or so, you would find yourself back in your old stomping grounds to meet with the executives of the New York offices. Whenever you touched down in New York, you would make it a point to catch up with Pete. You had known Pete for a while; you two met when you were working as a publishing assistant for Vogue. You two remained close friends, even after you left for LA. The weekend you happened to be in town was the same night as the premiere party he was hosting for his new movie, Big Time Adolescence. Your meeting had ended early on that Thursday afternoon and you met Pete for dinner. You checked out of your hotel and decided to stay with Pete for the rest of the weekend. You were looking forward to seeing him, but you knew that this party was his perfect opportunity to try and set you up with one of his friends, again. You appreciated his efforts but despite the fact he was one of your closest friends, he had the worst grasp on the type of guy you usually go for. It wasn’t long into after-dinner cocktails that he floated the idea of a setup, “If you come to the party, I have the perfect guy to set you up with.” You rolled your eyes, “When are you gonna stop trying to set me up with your friends, Pete? It’s never a good fit.” He laughed as the waiter dropped off another round of drinks, “This one will be a good fit.” You just shook your head in disbelief, “I find that hard to believe.”

The party wasn’t until Saturday and that gave you an extra day to lounge around Pete’s place. It was a day of relaxation that you were looking forward to. You spent the morning sleeping in and most of your day reading some potential pieces for publication. Even though it was technically working, it relaxed you to read some new authors. Pete had been out all day finishing a press junket before the release of the film. You liked how quiet his place was and even took advantage of the steam shower he rarely let you use. You ordered some takeout and ended up falling asleep on the couch while watching some Netflix. It wasn’t until the late hours of the night that Pete stumbled through the door, startling you. He half-whispered, half-yelled, “Shit, didn’t mean to wake you. I gotta get my beauty rest for tomorrow.” He managed to make it to his room and you locked the front door behind him, “See you in the morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

The next morning you were woken up by the sun coming in from the blinds that you had forgotten to close the night before. You liked being woken up by the sun, but you were hoping to get a little bit of extra sleep before your long night. You weren’t quite used to going to parties and staying out late, you were more used to book readings and wine while networking. You made your way to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, you always needed a cup in the morning and you knew Pete would probably need one after the night he had. You heard his door creak a bit as he rounded the corner to the kitchen. You handed him his cup of coffee, “You don’t look as bad as I thought you were going to this morning.” He groaned and rubbed his temple, “I’m getting too old to party like that.” You laughed a little as your toast popped out of the toaster, “Does that mean I don’t have to stay out until four in the morning with you tonight?” He began to head back to his room, “Not a chance, the car will be here at 9:30.”

It wasn’t long before 9:30 rolled around and you were struggling to figure out which pair of shoes to wear with your slightly too short black dress. You settled with a pair of black red-bottoms, you couldn’t help but throw on an all-black outfit every time you had a doubt about what to wear. The little black dress was extremely out of your comfort zone, but you had to admit that you looked good and felt confident in it. You and Pete found your way into the black town car and were off to the party. The party wasn’t very far from Pete’s place and you were a bit nervous to walk in. Sometimes Pete’s crowd was a little intimidating, you had such a mundane life compared to theirs and you were often worried that you couldn’t keep up. Pete could sense your hesitation as he waited for you to get out of the car. He offered his hand, “Come on, it’ll be fine.” You took his hand and he helped you up, “Just don’t leave me completely alone to fend for myself.” He winked, “Oh you won’t be alone, I have a friend for you remember?” You groaned and waited for Pete to finish his red carpet appearance.

You walked into the venue and the music was bouncing off the walls. There was so much going on, you couldn’t really figure out what was louder; the music pumping out of the speakers or the voices and laugher of those in attendance. You followed Pete for a few minutes while he introduced you to new people and you caught up with some familiar faces. You had run into an old co-worker from Vogue and decided to spend a good hour catching up with her while Pete went off and entertained his friends. You were just finishing your second drink when your friend tapped the top of your hand, “Don’t look now, but Pete is heading this way with a gorgeous, tall blonde.” You giggled as the alcohol coursed through my veins, “I love gorgeous, tall blonde men.”

You felt Pete tap your shoulder, “Hey, I have someone I want you to meet.” You turned around and were immediately enamored by the stranger’s piercing baby blues. He offered his hand to shake, “I’m Colson. Pete’s told me so much about you. I guess he like really wants us to get together, dude is nuts.” He was wearing a sleeveless red suit that showed off his perfect and completely tatted arms. You took his hand in yours, “Hi, yeah. Hi.” God, what had gotten into you, you were never stunned speechless, especially not by a man, but something about Colson was so intoxicating, even after just meeting him. He noticed your empty cup, “How about I go get us another round of drinks and we ditch Pete?” You smiled back at him, “I like that idea.” He cleared your empty glass off the table, “What are you drinking?” You tucked your hair behind your ear, “A vodka soda with lime would be great.” He beamed, “Coming right up.”

You turned back to Pete, “Not bad.” Pete was pleased with himself, “See, I told you this one would be a good fit.” “We’ve only just met, don’t get ahead of yourself.” He sarcastically shook his head, “You were kind of a nervous mess back there, I think I did pretty well.” You put your hand over your eyes, “Oh God, was it really that bad? Was I super noticeable? I could barely get a word out.” Pete laughed, “It was pretty obvious, but I think Colson was into it. Oh, look he’s coming back.” You felt like a deer in the headlights. He handed you your drink and you nodded back, “Thanks.” He took a slow sip from his whiskey, “It was my pleasure.” The four of you were still awkwardly standing there until you gestured to your friend and Pete, “Why don’t you guys go get yourselves another drink?” Pete grabbed his glass off the table and your friend followed suit, “Okay, yeah, we get it. I can take a hint.”

Colson broke the silence between the two of you, “So, how do you know Pete? You guys seem like super close friends.” You cleared your throat after taking a sip of your drink, “Yeah, we are close. He’s been such a great friend. I actually met him while I was working for Vogue.” He leaned closer to you. You weren’t sure if it was to hear you over the clinking and laughing or as an excuse to just be in closer proximity to you. His tone was quizzical, “Was working for Vogue? What happened?” You appreciated how interested he seemed, “Oh, nothing bad. I relocated to LA for a publishing gig, I’m just here for the weekend.” His face lit up, “No way! I live out in LA too, I was just here for the press tour and premiere.” You mused, “Small world...” He moved a few inches closer to you, “I guess I know why Pete wanted us to meet so bad.” You swallowed hard as his cologne and warmth overwhelmed your senses, “Yeah, I guess so.”

Before you knew it, Pete found you and Colson still talking at the same table, “I’m gonna head out, I got an early morning.” You looked at the time and didn’t even realize it was already after one in the morning, “What? You’re going home before me.” “I know, it’s unbelievable, right?” He and Colson said their goodbyes and he pulled you aside for a minute, “Are you coming home tonight?” You playfully gasped at what he was insinuating, “Hey, I am not that kind of girl. Of course, I am.” He gave you a quick hug and mentioned that the doorman would have the spare key to his place.

You and Colson spent the next half hour or so finishing your drinks and watching the party dwindle. He leaned over and pressed his lips to your ear, “Do you wanna get out of here?” The alcohol coursing through your veins made your skin feel like it was on fire and his lips burned your ear. All you could think about was running your fingers through his blonde locks and sinking your teeth into his collarbone. You nodded, “Yes.” He took you by the hand and you followed closely behind him, trying your best to hide from the flashing lights of the peering cameras. He opened the car door for you and made sure you got in safely before climbing in after you. The second he closed the door and you took notice of the purposefully dark windows, something inside of you just took over. Your head was resting on the back of the seat and you peered over at Colson, his eyes were already fixed on yours. You crashed your lips into his and he pulled you onto his lap so that you were straddling him. His hands had a tight grip on your hips and you were both breathing heavily after finally giving in to the urges you had for hours.

He moved his way down to your neck and your breath hitched as you tried to defend your case, “You know, I don’t usually do this.” He spoke between kisses, “I’ll let it slide this time. Your place or mine?” “Mine.” Your eyes shot open and you pushed his shoulders back with the sudden realization that you were staying with Pete. You slightly sat back onto his thighs, “Fuck, I totally forgot I was staying with Pete.” He leaned up to kiss you again, “Perfect, his place his closer than my hotel anyways.” He shouted Pete’s streets at the driver with a please and thank you. You hungrily reconnected your lips as thoughts of Pete finding you in bed with his best friend flooded your mind. It was clear that was the least of Colson’s worries, but you weren’t so sure you wanted to give Pete that satisfaction. On the other hand, how badly you wanted Colson outweighed any other negative you could muster up.

The car came to an abrupt stop and you two untangled from each other in an attempt to gracefully exit the backseat of the car. Colson made sure to thank the driver before he drove off. You entered the building and walked up to the doorman, “Hi, Pete told me that was going to leave the extra key for me.” The doorman pulled the key out, “Yeah, I just gotta see some ID.” Colson was grabbing at you as you struggled with your wallet, “No problem.” You took the key from the doorman and thanked him before heading to the elevator. Pete lived on the top floor and Colson took advantage of the longer than usual elevator ride. Your back hit the cold wall of the elevator as your arms wrapped around his neck, your plump lips working in unison. The elevator reached Pete’s floor with a ding and you promptly exited into the hallway. You found yourself pressed up against the wall outside of Pete’s apartment while Colson held you in place, pressing one of his hands into your hip while the other was firmly planted on the wall above your head. You slightly pushed his chest to stop and catch your breath, “Someone’s gonna see us.” He nipped at your neck, “Fuck ‘em.” You began to fumble with Pete’s lock as you shushed Colson, beckoning him to not make a sound as you clumsily made your way to the guest room.

You finally found your way through Pete’s dark apartment and slowly and quietly closed the bedroom door. You turned around to find Colson sitting on the bed taking off his shoes. You sat down on the bed next to him. He placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a soft squeeze. You took his hand in yours and pressed a kiss to his palm, “You have nice hands.” He pressed a light kiss to your swollen lips, “You have nice lips.” You stood in front of him and slipped off your heels, his hands settled on your waist as you began to unbutton the front his shirt. You slipped his shirt and vest off him and his toned, colorful chest was mesmerizing. You turned around, “Can you unzip me?” You moved your hair out of the way as his hands fumbled with your zipper and then he slowly pulled it down. You turned back around to face him, your arms still clutching your dress to your body. Colson pulled you into him and tucked your hair behind your ear, kissing you.

Your actions were slow and calculated, nothing like the lust that led to this moment. You let your dress fall, climbing on top of him. He deepened the kiss as you tugged on the waistband of his red suit pants. You unbuttoned and unzipped them as he took the initiative to wiggle out of them. The only thing that was separating you two was the thin material of his Calvin Kleins. You could feel him hardening beneath you as his hands explored every inch of your exposed skin. You palmed him through his briefs, desperate for what was underneath. He sat up taking you with him and reached to the floor, searching for his wallet. You wrapped your arms around his neck to steady yourself, “What are you looking for?” He finally found his wallet, “Condom.” You pressed your lips to his, “Good call.”

He shifted so that he was now hovering above you. All you could think about was wrapping your legs around his waist and digging your heels into him, so you did. He mused to himself, “Someone’s eager.” You whimpered bashfully. Colson steadied himself using the headboard and slowly pushed into you. You had been craving this feeling since the moment you laid eyes on him. His hips began to move rhythmically as he crashed his lips onto yours, moaning into your mouth. He released his grip from the headboard and his fingers met your core. You tightly squeezed his arm that was now fisting the sheets beneath you. You could fill warmth spreading through your veins as you tingled in anticipation of what was coming. Your hips bucked into his as you felt your high nearing, profanities spilling too loudly from your lips. Colson shoved his fingers into your mouth to silence you, as not to wake anyone. His thrusts were soon jagged with abandon as he fell apart right in front of your eyes. He collapsed on top of you and then moved to your side, pressing a kiss to your flushed forehead, “Fuck.” You pushed his damp hair off his forehead and his eyes almost twinkled in the soft moonlight, “Pete was right, you are a good fit.”

The next morning, you woke before Colson. You weren’t sure what time it was, but the sun was already out and you could hear honking cars on the street below your window. Colson’s hair was unkempt and sticking out in every which way on the pillow. Soft snores left his lips and his chest moved up and down. You couldn’t help but smile as you admired him. You could hear Pete making coffee from the kitchen and figured you would sneak out there before he came in here to find you in bed with Colson. You pulled on a hoodie and your PJ shorts and slowly snuck out of the guest room. Pete was leaning against the counter, almost like he was waiting for you to come out of the room, “Someone got home late last night.” You poured yourself a cup of coffee, “Oh yeah, I had a great time meeting Colson. He was nice to talk to.” Pete raised his eyebrows, “You know, he’s supposed to come over later.” You almost spit out the hot liquid that coated your tongue, “I look forward to seeing him.” Pete took a seat on the couch, “What did you guys end up doing after the party?” You took a seat opposite him, “We just talked.” Pete had a look on his face like he knew something, “I see, I see…” You heard the bedroom door open and muttered under your breath, “Shit.” Colson pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “Morning.” He looked over at Pete, “Morning, Pete.” Pete took a sip of his coffee, “Have a good night, Colson?” He shook his head yes. You sat there not really knowing what to do. Colson took a seat next to you pulling your legs into his lap. You all sat there in a weird silence until Pete broke it, “You guys are really bad at sneaking into apartments.” You buried your face into Colson’s neck in embarrassment, “Oh no. I am never going to live this down.” Colson let out a bellowing laugh, “In all fairness, she did tell you she was going to come home last night.”

taking requests

[quarantined-with-bucky]

I Was Good To You

Bucky x Reader

Words: ~ 4,000 (lol sorry)

Summary: You were good to Bucky

Warnings: Angst

A/N: I really love the song “you were good to me” by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler (actually they have a lot of good songs, together and separately). But I felt like this song needs to be read from the opposite perspective literally every time I hear it, hence this fic. It’s a little different than what I have written so far, so I hope you still enjoy it! I put some of the original lyrics in the fic as quote-block format; it’s mostly in the reader’s POV and I’m sorry in advance for having to do Bucky like this – it just fits the song.

...

It was a fairly new relationship. And while you and he were both equally cautious about taking said new relationship too fast, it couldn’t be helped that the two of you were inseparable. From the day you met, he had been invested in you – your life. He claims it was because he was frozen for so long; because he didn’t know how to live “normally” in the twenty-first century. He went from World War II to Hydra to today. While that made perfect sense to you, a part of you always wondered if it was something more. Sure, Bucky had never had the chance to (and likely will never the chance to) live mundanely. He won’t ever work a 9 to 5 job, he won’t spend nights cooking and washing dishes, he won’t be doing lawn maintenance, working on a dingey car, or grocery shopping (and then forgetting your grocery list at home). You thought that he may have attached himself so quickly to you so he could partly experience the normalcy of civilian life. Not that you were complaining.

He often spent nights at your house, sleeping in your too-small bed, sitting on your countertop, and lounging on your loveseat. Waking up next to him was heaven. If you weren’t securely wrapped in his arms, head laying on his bulky torso, then he was using your chest as a pillow, the weight of him almost making it impossible to breathe. But that extra weight was calming; he may have even been the weighted blanket that has been sitting in your Amazon cart for well over four months. You’d wake up from an uninterrupted night of bliss, fingers running through his long hair, Bucky refusing to get up until you promised pancakes.

But then, three months into it, he left. Its not like he had a choice, you reminded yourself, its his job. And you were well aware of it – he made you aware of it. He told you he would be gone for three weeks. And that’s fine; you could spare less than a month of your life for the good of the rest of the world? It felt almost selfish to think that way. He wasn’t yours; he had to save the world, he belonged to the world – to himself.

So, you tried to keep yourself busy to distract yourself. But there really wasn’t much to do; hobbies you once enjoyed felt exhaustive and boring. The issue is you used to do everything with him: eat, work, eat, shower, sleep. Now it’s eat alone, work alone, eat alone, shower alone, sleep alone; each task a glaring reminder how desolate it was.

Floating, but I feel like I’m dying

Your routine felt like nothing – it just felt empty, the way that it lacked conversation, playfulness, fun, it lacked him. Nothing, in fact, felt real. You walked around the neighborhood and it felt like a fever dream, like you were gliding along the sidewalks. Not a single thought roamed through your mind, just the absence of what used to be. The days always went by painstakingly slow, but every Friday night you wondered how the week had gone by so quickly.

Your friends invited you out on the weekend, and while you mostly said no, they made sure to drag you out a couple times. The company was honestly welcome, it just felt like an empty effort to get dressed up and go to the bar when you really would rather be there (or home – in bed) with someone else. But by the time your friends got you in a routine to go out, Bucky came back home to you.

Months went by while the two of you were attached at the hip, smiles never leaving either of your mouths.

You woke up one morning to a heavy figure sprawled across half of your naked body. Yawning and trying your best to inhale a breath with his chest laying directly on top of yours, you flexed your arms and legs straight out, cracking a few joints that had been overused just a few hours ago. Bucky’s eyes popped open, his blue iris’s peering into your own. He rubbed an eye-booger away with the palm of his hand and started off the morning with “I have to leave tonight.”

You were confused and you knew he could read it on your face. “No good morning?” You joked haphazardly, trying your best not to blurt out every thought racing across your mind at that moment – the main one being what the fuck?

“’M sorry, baby,” he mumbled, still half asleep, pushing his face into the corner of your neck, planting a wet kiss to your shoulder, then your collarbone, then your jaw.

“How long do you think you’ll be gone for?” Your fingers traced up and down his back, nicking on the scratches you left last night; nearly healed but you knew they were there.

He hummed and lifted his head to press a kiss to your lips. “Couple weeks.” Another kiss. “I’m not sure.” That being said, you didn’t bring it up again. It was better to spend the day binging pancakes and watching movies in bed than discussing it any further.

I know it’s easier to run

After everything I’ve done

It was finally time for him to leave. After all your distraction kisses didn’t work. As soon as the clock hit 8:00 pm, he stood, despite you feigning sleep beside him. He leaned over you on the bed and held a head to your cheek, then pushed the hair from your face. You opened your eyes, holding his hand in yours. He stood there for a moment that felt like an eternity, just watching each other with sad eyes. “I wish I could stay,” he murmured.

You nodded, unable to find your voice. As he straightened back up, you stood next to him, pulling a shirt on and following him to the door. After opening the door, he cupped your face with both his hands and pulled you close to him. “See you soon, okay, doll?” If this was his best reassurance tactic, it wasn’t very good. You met his mouth in an open-mouthed kiss, tongues swiping over each other, exchanging the words you couldn’t find earlier. Slowly, he kissed you back, releasing a long breath as he pulled away.

And then you did it.

“I love you.”

And then you regretted it.

He stared back at you, eyes scanning over the whole of your face: faltering smile, eyebrows drawn together, eyes suddenly glazed with worry.

“Goodbye, (Y/N).”

He turned and shut the door without looking back or saying another word. He really left. He really ran away.

Tears welled up into your eyes. Like that morning, the only thought you could process: what the fuck? albeit, this time, it was a little angrier than before. What did that mean? You immediately assumed he was done with you. But the more you laid on your bed, sobbing your eyes out into your pillow, the more that didn’t make sense. There’s no way he wanted to breakup with you – he was so happy before he left. Maybe he just didn’t love you? Maybe he loved you but he just wasn’t ready to say it? And honestly, knowing Bucky, it was most likely the last option. He enjoyed spending every waking moment with you doing the most absolute boring tasks; you don’t just suffer like that if you don’t love that person.

Then again, despite agreeing to take this relationship slow, he surely did not have a problem basically moving into your house and sleeping with you (which you would’ve assumed to be a much greater step than saying “I love you,” considering he was from 1917 where usually the order is reversed).

All that worrying seemed to be in vain. He returned to you no later than 13 days after.

You pulled open to your front door only to find a sheepish-looking Bucky on the other side. His hands were tucked into his pockets, shoulders shrugged unusually high as he stared directly at the ground. But as soon as that door swung open and he saw you standing bewildered on the other side, he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you off the ground against his chest. He hummed softly into your collarbone, “I missed you.”

And suddenly your heart began beating out of your chest. You hands found his hair and you gently untangled the knots, while you shut your eyes and breathed in his earthy scent. So, you’d been right: Bucky was just weird. You didn’t want to relive that scene from two weeks ago, instead opting to relax in his arms. “I missed you, too.”

Growing, but I’m just growing tired

Now I’m worried for my soul

And I’m still scared of growing old

As time went on, him leaving became more frequent. You couldn’t help the fact that they were getting a lot of new leads. Honestly, you couldn’t be more grateful to have Bucky. Not only is he the light of your life, but invariantly the same for everyone else in the world. His job was to protect people and you couldn’t imagine the world if he wasn’t off doing what he did so well. But they became more frequent and longer. Lately, it had felt like the two of you had spent more time apart than together.

Laying on the couch, his cheek resting atop of your chest, his torso and hips nestled between your legs, you broke the calm silence. “So next Friday’s my birthday,” you mumbled.

He chuckles in response, tilting his head up to meet your gaze. “Is this your way of reminding me to get you a gift? Because don’t worry, doll, I already got you something.” He winked and set his cheek back to his original position, softly shutting his eyes as you curled a lock of his hair around your finger.

“No,” you giggle back, rolling your eyes to yourself. “I want to take a trip. I think we should get away for the weekend.” You released the strand of hair, instead running your hand over the back of his neck. “What do you think?”

He sits up immediately, no disregard for your hands, and shakes his head. “(Y/N), you know that I can’t. What if they need me and I’m not here?”

You bite your lip, quickly searching for something to say. And what you blurt out actually happens to be the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. “Aren’t there like a million Avengers? I think you can take one weekend off.”

Now he rolls his eyes and scoffs. “(Y/N), you can’t be serious. You know it doesn’t work like that.” And at this point, you’re not sure if he’s talking about the Avengers not working like that or if your relationship doesn’t work like that – after all, he still never said “I love you” back. Not when he came home that time, not when he left for the next mission, not for your one-year anniversary, and not after the fact he realized that date occurred while he was away on work.

“I know, but – ”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupts, his tone harsh. “But no.” The way his jaw sets and eyes narrow at you doesn’t make you think he’s very sorry.

Staring back at him, you nod, getting up from the couch before he can see the tears well up in your eyes (for the record, he saw them). “I’m tired, Buck. Goodnight.” And with that, you scurried off to your bedroom. You locked the door and fell onto the bed, silently letting the tears fall down your cheeks. You buried your face into your pillow, throwing his against the wall, the smell of your bed – that smelled like him – pissing you off beyond belief.

Was this going to be your life? Constantly leaving, never saying “I love you” when everything he does clearly shows that he’s in love with you. There as a point in your life when you thought men were confusing. But, damn, James Barnes is a whole new story.

He clearly got the message that he’d be sleeping on the couch that night. He didn’t disturb you for the rest of the night – he didn’t even try. Could he hear you sobbing in your room? You could only assume yes. But that clearly didn’t make a difference to him.

But that’s okay. You’ve learned how to console yourself, how to calm yourself down during a panic attack, how to make the tears stop on your own.

That would become your reality. Would that be your future? Bucky talked about the future – quite a lot, actually, especially for being the one who won’t say “I love you.” He wanted to settle down, he wanted the future that was taken away from him years ago: to eventually settle down, raise little babies, grow old with you. He surely liked to talk about it, but never show it. There had to be some way he could ask Steve to take a weekend off. If he was reluctant to do it now, would he ever? Or would you just live in the shadows of his life, tying down the house alone, raising babies alone, growing old alone.

The next morning, you woke up to Bucky next to you in bed. He stroked your hair until you opened your eyes (that you could only assumed were swollen and red). He had apologized for the night before, pleaded for you to understand, and even gave you your birthday gift early. While you decided to forgive him, for the sake of the universe, you still couldn’t bury the hatchet completely. You weren’t going to show it, but what you were thinking about was important, and dammit you were justified in asking yourself those questions. (Even more justified to ask him those questions, but it was just never the right time).

And I’m so used to letting go

But I don’t want to be alone

One day, months later, your grandfather had passed away. It came as quite a shock, and it took you a few hours to even process the fact that he was gone. You’d been through countless calls with other family members and friends checking in on you. And while everyone meant well, every call resulted with you in a rush to hang-up, falling into a fit of sobs as you ended each call.

He had basically raised you since you were born and the fact that he had been ripped away from you so suddenly had burned you even more. Despite how sad you were, however, you had to be glad that you were able to fall apart in Bucky’s arms. Holding you tightly, reassuring you yet never telling you you’re overreacting. As someone who had been around loss his whole life, he definitely understood and thought it best to let you express your feelings earnestly.

That’s why, when Steve Rogers called his phone later that night, you couldn’t help but express your feelings very earnestly.

“Bucky, no, you’re not going.” You were sitting up in bed, in the middle of the night, darkness swallowing the room as Bucky stood to dress, not even bothering to turn on the lamp beside him.

“(Y/N), I have to. Please, don’t make this hard, baby.” His hand reached out to touch your cheek if only for a moment before he continued to dress and gather his things.

Tears fell down your cheeks freely, your voice coming out cracked as you begged him once more. It might have been pitiful, from his eyes, you’d assume. You were only one step away from looking like a sobbing toddler making grabby hands at her favorite toy. “Please, Bucky. You can’t leave me alone right now.” A sob rips through your throat and you nearly scream. “I’m always alone. I don’t want to be alone right now.”

You’d done the research: there were at least 12 Avengers nowadays. You didn’t know who was in what galaxy, but you were positive that one of them could take his place. Its not like he even really had superpowers. He was basically an enhanced man – plus they already had one of those? Surely, he could be spared this time around.

He shakes his head but sits down to pull you in his arms. “Baby, please. You can’t do this to me.”

And it takes everything in your whole being to not scoff. Do this to him? What exactly are you doing to him? Oh, just something he does to you on the weekly basis. You swallow your tears and shove him away. You don’t know what made you pull a complete 180, but it did finally feel good to get some things off your chest that had been plaguing your mind recently. “You always leave. I’m used to it.”

He opens his mouth to speak. Nothing comes out. He watches you pull the covers over yourself and turn away from him. He closes his mouth and leaves the room.

God only knows where our fears go

Hearts I’ve broke, now my tears flow

You’ll see that I’m sorry

Cause you were good to me

It was the post-mission jitters. The remnants of the adrenaline from earlier that day still coursed through his veins as he paced back and forth around the jet, eagerly anticipating his return to you.

“What’s up yours?” Sam asks, eyes narrowed at Bucky, clearly in confusion but also in annoyance.

Bucky stops in his tracks, eyes wide, feeling as though he had been invisible for the whole plane ride. He shrugs, and as Sam raises an eyebrow, he offers an explanation: “I’ve gotta see (Y/N).”

A grin breaks out on Sam’s face. He falls back in his chair, throws a hand over his heart and pretends to faint. “Oh, you have to see your lover. I’m Bucky, I’m so in love,” he mimics in a high-pitched voice.

Where Bucky normally would threaten to beat Sam to within an inch of his life, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything. He stood, staring at Sam’s hideous imitation of himself – he swears his heart stopped beating. “Yes, exactly.”

Sam chokes and stutters a “what?” before Steve interrupts them from the cockpit.

“We’re landing, guys. Buck, grab a seat.” So, Bucky does exactly what he’s told, plopping himself into the seat across from Sam, ignoring all the questions and comments from the man across from him.

God, he mentally kicks himself. It’s been almost two years. Two years you let him treat you like that. Now, while Bucky doesn’t think he’s done anything outwardly wrong and had obviously never purposely tried to hurt you, maybe he could’ve been a little better regarding work. Maybe he could’ve taken that weekend off with you.

You really consumed his whole life. His thoughts were constantly about you (mostly sweet and innocent, sometimes dirty), he constantly wanted to be by you, talking, laughing, touching.

He made up his mind before the plane even lands. The last mission is over, and new – personal – one begins.

He leaves the complex, stopping by the florist to buy the biggest bouquet of roses he can get his hands on. A grin is itching at his mouth as he anticipates your reaction during the rest of his drive. His heart is racing – in a good way. In a way he hasn’t felt in, well, forever. His confidence is at an all-time high as he’s never felt surer of himself in his life.

He’s already planned it out. You’ll open the door and he’ll scoop you up in his arms, hand you the flowers, and finally say “I love you.” He doesn’t know what took him so long anyway.

And now I’m closing every door

Cause I’m sick of wanting more

You know he didn’t get to decide when he left and for how long he’d be gone.

But he did get to decide his priorities. And honestly, you weren’t even sure if you were one of them anymore.

You were torn because you know how much his work means to him. Not only was it his calling, but it was something he thought was important to use his good work as a means to make up for all the bad things he’s done in the past. And while you’ve told him multiple times that that’s definitely not how it works, nothing will change his logic. So, you’ve stood by him; if it was important to him, it was important to you. Of course, you wanted to see your boyfriend exceed, feel fulfilled.

Now, you were just tired of seeing Bucky like that when it cost you everything. He was your everything. You had a job, yes, a home, a family. But the one person you were supposed to be with – actually be with – didn’t value you the same as his job. And thinking that to yourself just has to be the worst, most necessary wake-up call you need.

That was all you needed. You sat at your desk with a pen and a piece of paper. You couldn’t even think of an opening line for about two hours. Sitting there, chewing the inside of your cheek, you wrote countless paragraphs, scrapping some, keeping others, adjusting sentences, trying not to sound too mean – then having to start over because your teardrops fell onto the paper and smudged the ink.

All in all, it took you two days to write him the note – note turned letter. You folded it in three, left it on his pillow. As you placed it down, you broke out in tears. Falling to your knees, you shoved your face into the mattress, wailing into the sheets one last time. It remarkably still smelled of Bucky’s soap; probably just god handing you one more gut-wrenching blow.

You’d spent the night on the couch, unable to bear the sight of that letter or the smell of those blankets. The next morning, you tried to keep your head as clear as possible. No breakfast (no more pancakes with Bucky), no music (no reminders of your song), no phone (no messages from Bucky). It was time to leave. Time to leave this house, this life, this relationship. You’d quickly shoved a few bags full of clothes and necessities and threw them in the back of your car, not looking back. Just like he did after you’d told him you loved him.

Swear I’m different than before

I won’t hurt you anymore

Cause you were good to me

He practically skips up the steps. Knocking first, he rocks up and down on his tip-toes unable to contain his excitement anymore. Not getting an immediate response, he knocks again.

It would make sense that you weren’t home if it was work hours, but it was 7:00 pm. Bucky was thrown-off; you’d be at home eating dinner right now. Chalking it off to maybe you were in the bathtub, he digs around in his pocket for the key. Pushing the door open, he cautiously looks around the kitchen, then the dining room and living room, unable to find you. The bathroom was empty, and you hadn’t responded to him calling your name, echoing throughout the house.

He pulled out his phone while carefully kicking the bedroom door open with his foot. Straight to voicemail. Voicemailbox full. He tosses the roses beside him on the bed and sits on the edge, nearly ready to go searching again before a piece of paper catches his eye.

His heart drops.

It sinks.

There’s not a time in his whole one-hundred-year existence that he’d felt this much anticipation and fear.

He grabs the letter with shaking hands, carefully unfolding it and his eyes are fixated on the date you’d scribbled at the top of the page. Two months ago.

[preciousthingsareprecious]

With a Heart of Scars Ch. 10

Hey guys! I hope you are all doing well and staying healthy. This chapter splits POVs between Dick and Stephanie because both of them had short scenes. 

AO3 Link

~

Dick woke to a splitting headache.

He blinked up at the roof of the cave and wondered how he’d gotten there. The last thing he really remembered was the building coming down around him. So, who had gotten him home?

“Grayson? Are you awake at last?” a small voice asked from beside him.

Dick turned his head and saw Damian, curled up in a chair, hands wrapped around his legs, wearing a Nightwing hoodie of all things.

“Dames?”

The boy scowled, “Tt, I see you finally recognize me. Perhaps you did not lose all your sense when you allowed a building to fall on you.”

At that, Dick remembered his rescue. The image of Nightwing’s symbol the only clear thing on Damian’s then blurred figure, his terrified tone, and unrelenting grip as he dragged Dick to safety. He swallowed, at the memory of being lost in grief over Bruce, and wondered how much he’d admitted out loud.

“Hope I didn’t worry you too much.”

Damian rolled his eyes and laid his head back down on his knees, facing away from Dick, which Dick took as “yes, you did worry me.” He wouldn’t have needed the eye roll to know that. Damian had come after him, hardly dressed to be on patrol with little more than a domino and utility belt to help him, and was here sitting by his bed. Yeah, the kid was upset.

“Drake should have been there.” Damian mumbled, voice muffled due to one cheek being squished against a knee.

Dick pushed himself up so he was sitting, his chest twinged at that, but wasn’t nearly as painful as it might have been. His legs, however, were not pleased with the movement, and Dick winced at the sharp pain in his thighs.

“It’s not like he bailed, Damian. I planned to go out on my own.”

The boy squeezed his legs tighter, “He failed in his duty as Robin.”

“Batman used to go out all the time without Robin. I mean, when I was growing up I only went with Bruce on the weekends for the longest time. A partner is not a requirement, Dames.”

“He has not been a partner though, has he?” Damian asked, raising his head suddenly to level a serious look at Dick, “He has hardly been here for weeks, he left Batman at one of his most crucial times, while you were getting used to the cowl, and now because no one was by your side you almost--” he broke off, swallowing whatever he was going to say, “a building crashed down on you. It is not a question of what Batman has done in the past, but what he needs now.”

He dropped his legs to the ground, and balled his hands on his thighs, “You need a partner, Robin or not. This is a different Gotham than Father’s, if only because you are a different type of Batman.”

Dick was surprised that Damian didn’t tag on a jab at his skills as Batman as he’d done regularly. He expected to be told that he needed a partner because he wasn’t good enough to be Batman. What he had not expected was a heartfelt --for Damian-- speech about Dick needing to be safe.

He leaned forward and took one of Damian’s hands in his own, Damian hadn’t released his fist, so Dick ran this thumb over the top of his hand, “I’m sorry I made you worry. Thank you for looking out for me no matter what, and thank you for being so patient with me while we sort things out.”

He wanted to tell Damian he’d been thinking the same thing, and how much he wanted to bring him out as his partner, but he bit back those sentiments. He still needed to talk to Tim.

“I’ll talk to Tim when he’s back, see if he can stick around a little longer or something.”

Damian pulled his hand out of Dick’s and stood, “Good.” the word was clipped, “Let us hope he decides to stick around long enough to keep you alive this time.”

“Are you leaving?” Dick asked, frowning at him.

He hesitated, “I was going to get Pennyworth and let him know you were awake.”

Dick reached his hand out again, “Stay for a bit longer? You haven’t even told me just how much damage the building did to me.”

Damian sighed, and flopped back down into the chair, “You are surprisingly indestructible. Between your armor and pure luck you only need contend with a concussion, some heavy bruising, and mild lacerations to your thigh.”

“I’m sure Alfred will insist I stay in bed for a week.”

His brother shrugged, “He mentioned something of the sort. Brown and Cain have also agreed to look into the explosion while you are incapacitated. They would have gone after I returned with you, but by then emergency crews had arrived on the scene."

He wrinkled his nose, which made Dick raise an eyebrow.

"It took far too long to rally any kind of emergency response. Considering the time it took me to arrive and find you, firetrucks should have been swarming the area. It is as if something had delayed the signal."

"We'll have to look into that too then." Dick hummed.

He was about to ask Damian for more details, when the sound of a bike roaring came into the cave. Both Dick and Damian looked to see who was arriving. Robin's Redbird bike pulled in, and Tim was just turning it off.

“Damian, don’t start a fight, okay?”

“Tt. I will go get Pennyworth.”

This time, when Damian stood Dick did not stop him from walking away. He hated it, but the kid was dealing with a lot of emotions right now, and one of those was profound anger at Tim, maybe not Tim himself, but the fact that Dick had gotten hurt without Tim there. It was understandable, and Dick was willing to let him go and cool off a bit. Something told him that the longer he and Damian spent together, the more likely he'd become just about as overprotective as Bruce could be.

Dick shook his head, and put on a smile for Tim.

A light, angry, set of stomping feet preceded Damian’s entry to the kitchen. The sound was enough to alert Stephanie of the kid’s mood. She eyed Cass who nodded, having also picked up Damian’s emotional state even before seeing him.  It wasn’t like it was a hard guess. Beyond Cass, the kid was the only one who was still small enough to make a sound that light while also stomping, and Dick was downstairs hurt on a gurney. One plus one equals two, or in this case injured mentor plus stomping feet equaled an upset Damian.

The boy stopped short at the door to the kitchen, his face a veritable movie of emotions as he flipped from deep concentration to surprise, irritation, and at last settled on mild annoyance.

“Brown. Cain.” he said, by way of greeting.

“Hey.” Steph said.

Cass waved, and said, “Cocoa is on the stove.”

Both of them waited for Damian to pour himself a mug of the still warm hot chocolate, and settle on a stool across from them at the island.

“So, what’s the news? Did Dick wake up at last?” Stephanie asked him.

Damian scowled down at his drink, “Yes, the fool is awake.”

Steph raised an eyebrow, Damian wasn’t usually so grumpy when he talked about Dick. At least not anymore, especially since they’d gone out and bought all those art supplies. A genius stroke on Dick’s part, one she’d been planning to make him take if he hadn’t caught on sooner or later. Really, the kid screamed artist.

“What did he do to earn your ire?”

The boy tsked at her and sipped at his cocoa.

“We are not mind readers, Little Brother.” Cass said, gently.

Damian huffed, and looked up, “Drake has returned.”

Ah. That made sense. Steph stifled a smile, Damian’s little rivalry with Tim was pretty one sided, and while it had originally be born out of a need to fit in, it was obvious now it was about Dick’s attention.

“He’s been away a while, I’m sure Dick missed him.”

“Tt. That is not why I am upset.”

“Because Dick got hurt?” Cass asked, though they all knew it was the truth.

The boy squirmed in his chair, his scowl deepening.

“It’s pretty obvious.” Steph said.

“You two are insufferable.” Damian declared and took a large sip of his hot chocolate.

Now Stephanie did let herself laugh, “You know, if you gave Tim a chance I bet you’d find him as ‘tolerable’ as you find the rest of us lately.”

Damian tilted his head back, adding an air of superiority to him, even as he sat there in a hoodie too big for him, cupping hot chocolate in a Superman mug, “If he were here more often, then perhaps I could.”

“That, I can't fault.” Steph said, “But I won’t judge him for his actions either.”

“How is Dick?” Cass asked, changing the conversation.

Damian looked relieved he didn’t have to answer any more questions about his ‘rival’ and tapped a finger on the side of his mug.

“He is surprisingly well, and in far too good a mood for a man who had a building fall on him.”

There was something fond about Damian’s tone, even if he meant it to be dismissive. Steph was oh so tempted to tease him, but held off.

“Good.” she said, shifting in her chair, “Hey, what do you say to a trip to the park tomorrow? I need to get out and get some fresh air that’s not tinged with doom, gloom, and nighttime, and you told me you were bored of painting Alfred’s garden. A change of scenery would be fun.”

“You are trying to ensure I do not start a fight with Drake.”

Steph dropped her mouth open in an imitation of surprise, “Me? Never. I just thought you might want a change of scenery, and --since you’re ten and most certainty grounded from being alone in any kind of vehicle after tonight-- might need a ride.”

Damian groaned, “Pennyworth told you?”

She grinned, “A good deed does not go unpunished.”

The kid glared at her for a moment before nodding, “Fine, but I will not go to the last park we visited. The duck pond had no ducks at all.”