#Aka plan ahead to split in half

[rayman-raymania]

another Raymania comic so soon??? And all about Rei! Nothing else! And some rain. (Sorry Remy I’ll get to you eventually bud)

this is mostly to answer what Rei does all afternoon if he’s not at home or with one of the guys in the beginning months. He’s out hunting for a job! Sometimes he gets one! But the date for a shoot or whatever he’s doing gets pushed back, so he ends up trying to find more work anyways. He misses his old job that’s for sure…

Full comic not chopped up under the cut!

[oh-meow-swirls]

rewriting 2's fun cuz i've played it so many times that i feel like i've definitely ended up accidentally writing dialogue word-for-word from the game without meaning to lksfdjkfljkdfjksfd-

[lewisinho]

✨lewis hamilton’s most underrated mclaren drives ✨

(with special dedication to: @l8tof1 & @sirlew44)

did a lil’ rewatch over the break and wanted to do a post about some of lewis’ most underrated wins/drives in f1 over the years; i realise that there are a lot of them and so i decided to split and do a post for his mclaren days and another one for his mercedes years.

a few words of introduction:

the thing about watching mclaren lewis and why it’s just such a privilege, is that this boy is special; babyfaced rookie picked from the crèche by ron dennis and who was told he’d be half a second off nando’s pace and that he shouldn’t worry, wasn’t just hungry he had something to prove, he will nawt be a second driver even if it’s to the reigning 2x world champion who has just come from beating THE michael schumacher, basically babes wasn’t having it and he put the fear of god into these drivers…and ron dennis (say what you want about that that man, but you can’t deny, he really girlbossed that one thing; giving lewis a car that was capable of winning, was a choice™️, but a very good one and we thank him for that); mclaren lewis is special because he’s hungry, he’s raw and fast, very fast, sometimes too fast and too reckless, but he’s learning, and when you watch these races and these seasons you see him learn and grow and change; all these seasons are different, but those mclaren years are just as important for the lore and who he is now and to witness the evolution of both the driver and the man is truly special; so this small collection of drives is a bit of a crème-de-la-crème if you will of those races that i think aren’t as mentioned in the pantheon of great lewis drives as much as i think they should, so let us begin:

fuji 2007 🇯🇵 aka the first rain dance of og bald baby mclazza rookie lewis, stunting on hoes since ‘07

people keep talking about silvo 2008 (and rightly so) but this one is a bit of a forgotten wet-weather masterpiece; talk about artistic sublimity, this is the racing sublimity of one 22-year-old rookie lewis hamilton; baby lewis was holding off his reigning world champion of a teammate absolutely majestically in torrential conditions, and executing the race and the restarts to perfection (race is also chaos personified so brilliant to rewatch). baby lew became a bit of a headache for the establishment™️ and one fernando alonso and it’s fun to watch.

germany 2008 🇩🇪aka mclaren pitwall terrorising baby lewis (the horrors started way before merc)

a race overshadowed by his brilliance in silverstone two weeks earlier (suffering from success and having consecutive masterclasses amirite), but it’s nearly as brilliant; this is lewis vs massa + the mclaren pitwall deciding to gamble with some fuckass strategy and leaving lewis out for a safety car restart, lewis having to pull massive gaps, driving the wheels of that mp4-23 and then overtake from p5 to take the lead; some brilliant overtakes and lewis displaying incredible race pace; this drive is the lewis hamilton special that massa had no answer for 

singapore 2009 🇸🇬 aka lewis decided to serve cunt

to truly appreciate the sheer extent of said cunt serving, you have to watch both quali and the race; mind you, the 2009 mclaren was nawt it, the post-updates mp4-24 was still dogshit compared to lil’ sister mp4-23 and very much an underperforming and unreliable shitbox; the updates also came too late for lewis to put up a proper championship fight; however this did not stop from lewis from putting 2 whole ass seconds on his teammate, take pole ahead of the red bulls and the brawns and then dominate the race, with brilliant tyre management and race pace (40 secs ahead of kova, nearly 10 secs ahead of timo glock in p2 in a truly fuckass mclaren)

brazil 2009 🇧🇷 aka the road to legend is long and twisted and the brazilian racing gods clearly have a plan 

p17 to p3; and no you may think this is one of those checo-esque recovery drives where you qualify terribly but have a rocketship so you overtake cars easily and finish the race in a position you should have started the race in; well, the mp4-24 actually qualified terribly in the wet (even post-upgrades, it was also set up for the dry) and was still very much mid on a sunday; lewis however babes was on yet another mission, overtaking cars *mwah* like please watch it; the brazilian racing gods truly picked a chosen one and his name is lewis hamilton i do not make the rules; his lil’ fist punching the air when he crossed the line says everything you need to know about what that drive meant to lewis (also like that boy was starving for a win around interlagos and to think the first one came only in 2016 jeez) the racing gods really wanted to make that man suffer biblically in true chosen one fashion before offering any type of redemption; you see interlagos and lewis is a special narrative, it’s about a boy achieving immortality in his hero’s homeland, and it goes all the way from 2007 to 2021 and beyond, and there are chapters in between, like 2009, that are worth mentioning, because the man is desperate for a win here and he’s getting so so close, hungry mclaren lewis you mean so much to me, he would eat anything and anyone and well,,,interlagos is lewis’ yearning personified

china 2011 🇨🇳 aka he WILL have his win and he will bite and claw his way towards it 

hungry lewis starving for a win with a car that is half-decent is dangerous; this race is *chefs kiss* oh my god, please watch it, baby mclaren lewis on a mission, babes after the race said he doesn’t remember when he last won a race, like wdym it’s only been like 8 months my guy (we’re on two years now); drama starts before the race even begins, because he’s got a fuel problem and is literally mere seconds away from a pit-lane start but no that team and that man were on a mission: three-stopper, overtaking both seb and jb, terrifying race pace! he also gets a bit emotional in the cool down room and hugs seb 🥹

germany 2011 🇩🇪 aka vintage lewis special 

another one where you have to watch both quali and the race, because baby goat was pulling quali laps out of his ass (imo probably one of his best non pole laps): he split the bulls and was only half a tenth from pole (also 1.2 secs ahead of his teammate); bear in mind we’re in the domination era of kinky kylie (rb-7) which took 12/19 victories and all but one pole position, which interestingly albeit unsurprisingly went to lewis in korea): that man was putting his entire lewpussy into those quali laps; now the race, ladies and gents (gn) this is where it gets tasty and spicy and if you want a three-car fight for the win this delivers on all fronts and provides lewis at his very best this is it;

a small (but important) tangent: i do find it slightly disappointing when people overlook lewis’ 2011 season entirely because of his getting outscored by jb; yes, it wasn’t a clean season from him, he made a lot of errors in the races and it’s quite a frustrating watch in general as a lewis fan, but he also had some absolutely brilliant races (i also can’t help but point out a similar trend that has happened with his 2022 season);

but anyway, this is lewis vs webber vs fernando, mclaren vs red bull vs ferrari for the entire race; overcut and undercut strategies happening simultaneously, lewis’ racecraft and defence on webber!!!!, and featuring a great overtake on nando!

+ honourable mention: australia 2009 🇦🇺 aka icarus flew too close to the sun 

you’re prolly wondering why i’m including australia 2009, which is rather infamously known for ‘liegate’; but lewis’ (and mclaren’s) post-race shenanigans overshadow an actually brilliant drive from p18 to 4th (momentarily 3rd bc trulli got DSQ’d which was then reversed lmao; it’s a bit all over the place) in an actually dogshit mclaren that had no right fighting even for top 5; this is pre-upgrades wheelbarrow mp4-24, this is the stuff that makes the w13 look like a prima ballerina, well guess what lewis was the prima ballerina and was putting that mclaren in positions it really did not deserve to even bear witness to; and then there was a bit of a kerfuffle at the fia office (please read up on liegate it’s acc really funny, mclaren spectacularly shooting themselves in the foot 🙄), someone got fired, lewis disqualified, but oh well, shits and giggles innit (hindsight's a wonderful thing)

hope you enjoyed and i also hope this provided some inspiration for a rewatch :) 💜🏎️

[minothtime]

Xenoblade 3 Future Redeemed lore recap (obviously, spoilers ahead) but it's all just what I remember:

Lucky Seven contains what amounts to souls, most likely from the XC2 cast, and Shulk's Replica Monado presumably contains XC1's cast's due to both being forged with Origin metal (implied for the R. Monado)

What we knew as XC1 Alvis, a.k.a. Ontos, split into two: a half being a powerful, god-like machine (Alpha), and the other half being compassionate, amicable and having Alvis' memories and feelings, along with future visions (A).

Ontos was the intermediary between Logos and Pneuma in the Trinity Processor; where Logos presented as a male and Pneuma as a female, Ontos was neither, both, the middle, etc.

Some people were not assimilated into Origin for unknown reasons, though it's presumably because they were needed for events to happen.

Origin's architecture is based on Ontos' core.

Speaking about cores, Ontos (or A) remains watching over the world, Logos is heavily implied to be embedded in N's sword and Pneuma is straight up shown in Matthew's metal fists. Whatever that means.

Alpha's intention was to creat a world akin to that of Klaus', and for that he needed the people of the City as "fuel".

SPEAKING OF KLAUS' WORLD!!!! Apart from the apparent social unrest due to some human rights trouble (the "Saviourite Act" pretended to protect them), the main city seems to be divided in 13 districts (one of them called Minos, with a Dmitri Yuriev as a political figure). There also had been shuttle launches: the Radamanthus (XC2's First Low Orbit Station) can be seen, and the Terrestrial Evacuation Project aka Exodus had launched at least eight motherships to ferry out people. The eighth one, called Icarus, was intended to transport 480k people to "Eta Carinae, in the Carina-Sagittarius Arm in the Milky Way". So far there were 3M people shipped out, with plans to take out up to 10M in a new model (Philadelphia).

Shulk and Rex bent the literal rules of the world so Glimmer and Nikola (their children!!!!) could actually live their lives by using their own life force or whatever

N never wanted to kill Ghondor, but he had to do it and accept it because Ghondor asked for it.

The worlds did end up fusing through Origin properly! Everyone is fine and happy :D

Riku is one of Riki's eleven children, and was a disciple of Melia (his masterpon). How he's still alive..... is still left unexplained. I assume it's fuckery on Melia and A's side.

Both Pyra and Mythra are theoretically not connected to Pneuma's core itself anymore, as per the ending of XC2, and we do see Pneuma's true core without them nearby. Glimmer's core is not Pneuma, it just has the shape to hammer in the connection.

It is left deliberately vague if Shulk and Fiona ever got married. Though it seems to be the case, as Rex calls Dunban his brother-in-law.

Still unknown where Matthew's surname comes from........ XC1's Vandham, perhaps?

Riku did help create the Ouroboros stone, which is basically Pneuma's role in XC3.

[nobully]

wang yi goes meta and takes over the narrative

hi yes it's been awhile since i've posted one of these chapter update summaries but it was too fluffy (and yandere? lol) for me to resist this week. been translating the manhua text in gdocs since like ch89 so yeah ping me if you ever want links

ch 102: don't understand

(mild warnings ahead for yandere tendencies)

so we start the chapter with a recap from the last one where X kissed wang yi and said he is very happy to take back his other 2 selves if they're bothering him

long story short: qin xian is split into multiple selves between worlds, apparently, but they're all one soul despite being broken up

wang yi's like "uhhh it's fine" but the other 2 qin xians get jealous until slime QX zaps them away (convenient, that)

they come to terms about qin xian's multiple selves and X asks to put a tracker in wang yi's body so in the future he can find him (even if they end up in other worlds i guess?) wang yi's like wait what but X is already on it and boom, offscreen kiss (because the censors would kill it otherwise alas)

this is literally the original manhua panel and the kind of picture that practically begs an artist to hurry up and draw the other half (so where are you artists???)

anyways wang yi swallows a portion of X and gets a weird flashback to his System days where original!Qin Xian confessed his love and asked him to stay, but the memory's too fuzzy for him to process it

ofc he gets mad at the unintended ingestion (though mostly for health reasons) but X reassures him it's fine and the piece of slime he ate will stay..inert in his body.

wang yi gives up and goes sigh well whatever, then asks X why he likes him anyways when he already has memories of his jerkass self in the other worlds. X says it's probably fate tying them together, but WY scoffs at that and says there's gotta be an actual reason for this kinda stuff. (he also tells X to stop being a hopeless romantic when he thinks about stuff like this)

in the end he caves and says he'll fulfill the promise (to stay with Qin Xian/X for the rest of his life) if X still wants to hang around, which ofc makes X amused because he's just been a total obsessive weirdo (and knows it too). he asks if wang yi can still accept him after experiencing his twisted form of love

to which wang yi replies, he doesn't get what affection even is, so really what he's doing is trying to work with X and play along as best as he can. if they're both clear on that, they can give this relationship a try.

and it ends with both of them laughing at themselves for being freaks together.

wang yi asks how he's been (or rather, his other selves AKA the other Qin Xians who had to live on after wang yi left their respective worlds)

X mentions that it was agonizing and lonely, but if he reasons that all the waiting was to wait until he met wang yi again, then it's more sweet than bitter in the end.

the next day, the research lab welcomes a newly hired assistant for dr. wang: X in a modified human appearance complete with shoujo sparkles~

to pull off the ruse, X left part of his body in slime mode behind so he could play both roles at the same time

Sao Ling is naturally shocked, saying they're going off-plot, but WY placates him by saying it'll make finishing the novel easier when the heroine has to escape with the mermaid at the end (because it's a complicated task to pull off so she could use "all the help she can get")

he sweetens the deal by adding that this is a great way for them to earn points from the System, leading S-0 to realize WY's ultimate plan: shipping.

(but is he shipping heroine x mermaid or crazy scientist x lab assistant? i guess we find out next week...)

[helloalycia]

secret relationship // wanda maximoff

summary: you're the daughter of the famous Black Widow, which comes with its own set of hurdles such as revealing to her that you're dating the newest Avenger that she also happens to be mentoring – Wanda Maximoff. What could go wrong?

warning/s: minor (implied) violence and injury

author's note: okay so the request was the reader is Natasha's daughter and is struggling to tell Natasha that she's dating Wanda. All I know is I got excited (as usual) and this happened so yeah, enjoy! Also, Wanda’s age is always a mystery to me since it’s interpreted differently with everyone, so I tried my best to explain the age gap between you and natasha so things made sense.

masterlist | wattpad

"Did you know red onion and red cabbage is called 'red' instead of 'purple' because back in the old days, they didn't have enough words for colours so anything purple was defined as red?"

"The mission, Y/N," my mum, Natasha Romanoff, AKA Black Widow, scolded.

I sighed, my attention still focused on my surroundings and my gun directed ahead. "I know, I know. But did you know that the most common internet password is '123456'?"

"Y/N," Wanda, my girlfriend and teammate said with a laugh. "Stop it."

"Yeah, please, quit it," my mum added with an eye roll.

I smiled at Wanda, admiring how beautiful she looked when she hid her laugh. My mum wasn't aware we were dating, so I settled for sending her a playful wink before looking ahead.

I knew I had to focus on the mission – scouting out this abandoned HYDRA den – but it was boring. And it was obviously empty of any threats, so talking was my only pastime.

"Did you know the inventor of Pringles is buried in a Pringles can?" I said after a moment of silence, making my mum stop walking abruptly.

"Okay, you know what? New plan," she said, looking between Wanda and I. "Everyone split up. Take a look around. Stay alert. Keep in contact. Sound good?"

I quirked a brow. "You trying to get rid of me?"

She narrowed her eyes my way. "Yes."

I frowned, making Wanda crack a smile and nudge me in the shoulder.

"You need to learn to have an off button sometimes," she joked, her Sokovian accent shining through despite the voice lessons my mum was giving her. Honestly, I preferred her Sokovian accent to her American one.

"You love it," I teased, giving her a knowing smile, my mother completely unaware of the double meaning.

"Just do as I said," my mum said, already shooing me away. "Wanda, you know what to do. If you see or hear anything suspicious, use your comms."

"Yes, Miss Romanoff," Wanda said obediently, and I tried so hard to hold in laughter at her seriousness. I mean, it was great that she was respectful of my mother and her mentor, but God it was funny to witness.

"Once again, Wanda, you can just call me Nat," my mum said with a wince, trying to be polite. "Go on."

Wanda nodded and walked off, her gun raised as she'd practiced. I grinned at my mum, noticing the way she massaged her temple with mild agitation before her gaze fell to mine.

"Go. Now." She pointed behind me, and I stifled a laugh.

"Bet you love babysitting duty," I joked.

"It's not babysitting if I'm your mother," she pointed out. "Though sometimes, you make me regret not picking the baby instead of you."

"That baby would have been six years old now," I informed her. "If anything, I spared you the whole diaper thing and the outgrowing clothes thing and the– oh yeah! Not being able to speak thing!"

"At least they wouldn't be annoying me with stupid facts," she retorted, hand on her hip. "Now be a good agent and do your job."

I rolled my eyes playfully, knowing she was kidding. Whenever I annoyed her, she'd bring up the story of how it was between twelve year old me and a six-month old baby at the adoption centre. She was worried I'd view her as an older sister or something, hence her choice of adopting the baby instead. But I never did, as she was always way more mature than any twenty-seven year old I'd met or seen at the time. And maybe, I guess, I was really desperate to have a motherly figure, and she just happened to fit the bill.

"Aye, aye, Miss Romanoff," I saluted, making her raise an eyebrow threateningly. "Okay, geez, I'm going."

I wandered off, exploring the dishevelled HYDRA den with full focus. The brief clearly stated it was an abandoned site, but I stayed on alert anyway in case there were stragglers. As usual, I only got given half the facts because of my clearance level, so I knew we were looking for a hard drive, but I had no idea what was on it.

Being a seventeen year old working in S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't exactly how I saw my life going when I grew up in an orphanage. I honestly never thought I'd get adopted, as rumours spread quite quickly through the orphanage that once you hit double digits, nobody wanted you. So, when the beautiful, red-headed Natasha Romanoff came in, looking for an addition to her family, I felt like the luckiest kid in the world because she chose me of all the kids there.

I definitely didn't expect her to be the Black Widow, nor to teach me everything she knew about espionage, stealth, hand-to-hand combat and much more. She ensured I was multi-lingual like her, preparing me for the many S.H.I.E.L.D. missions I would have to go on. There were times when I absolutely despised her, particularly when she overtrained me or stopped me from seeing my friends. And there were times when I wished she'd never adopted me, hating that I couldn't have a normal teenage experience.

But when it came down to it, I knew I couldn't have asked for a more caring, considerate and compassionate mother. I learnt early on into our relationship that she was unable to have kids of her own, hence her interest in adoption. And honestly speaking? That was probably the worst thing in the world because if anybody deserved a child of their own, it was Natasha Romanoff. I guess, in that sense, I was lucky to have all of her love to myself.

Now that I was older, I came to appreciate how awesome she was, especially when we got to go on missions together and I saw her awesomeness upfront. The only thing was, she was extremely overprotective, so it was difficult to get sent on the dangerous missions. Though, I guess, whenever I did, she was always there to have my back and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Her overprotectiveness was also a reason why she didn't know about Wanda and I's relationship. Wanda had joined the Avengers a year ago after losing her brother in the battle against Ultron. She was a year older than me, so naturally we were drawn to each other, and before I knew it, our friendship became more. But of course, my mother could never know that. At least not yet.

"Empty here," I mumbled, rounding a corner into an empty room. As I looked through the rubbish on the desk, I continued, "Empty here... and here... and oh, look, here, too. What a surprise!"

"Y/N, I love you, but God help me I will kill you if you don't turn your damn mic off," my mother's voice came through my comms piece in my ear.

For once, I wasn't trying to piss her off, so I smiled sheepishly to myself and replied, "Sorry. Love you."

I could imagine the eye roll she was giving me in response, so continued to look around for the hard drive I saw on the brief. Still, there was nothing here.

My searching was interrupted when I heard a loud crash from a nearby room, like the sound of bricks tumbling against one another. I spun around, eyes widening with concern.

"Y/N? Wanda? What happened?" my mum's voice came through my ear, slightly reassuring me as it wasn't her who was caught up in anything. But then that meant–

"Wanda! What happened?" I replied worriedly, already rushing out of the room and to the source of the sound.

"I'm okay," Wanda's shaky voice came through my ear, which did nothing to ease my concern.

I found the room Wanda was in quite quickly, seeing her sat on the floor as if she'd been pushed. She had a deep cut on her forehead and looked visibly distressed. Running to her side, I kneeled down beside her and cupped her face, studying her head.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" The words tumbled from my mouth so quickly I wasn't sure if it was understandable.

She nodded slowly, accepting my hand and holding it for reassurance. I followed her gaze, seeing a hole in the wall ahead, bricks crumbling and dust beginning to settle. Laying on the floor through the hole and into the next room was a HYDRA soldier, clearly dead from the impact of hitting the bricks.

Wanda's power was magnificent, but hard to control. A year later and she was still learning its limits, but sometimes slip-ups like this happened. I was, admittedly, in awe of her actions.

"I'm sorry, I should have kept him alive like Miss Ro– Nat said," Wanda apologised suddenly, and I looked back at her to see her shaking her head. "He just– he startled me and I didn't know what I was doing until it happened. I thought–"

"Don't apologise," I cut her off, squeezing her hand gently, before looking back to the cut on her forehead. "I'm just glad you're okay. You did good."

Despite my words, I bit my lower lip to contain a frown, worried about her cut.

"Damn."

Wanda and I both turned to the doorway to see my mum, who stopped and took in the sight of the hole in the wall with partial surprise and partial amazement.

"Mum, we need to get her back to the quinjet," I said, pulling her attention away from the wall. She approached me as I said, "She needs medical assistance."

I didn't let go of Wanda's hand as I moved to the side for my mum to take a look. Gently guiding Wanda's chin to the side, she took a closer look at the gash on her forehead, expression showing nothing as usual.

"You'll be okay, honey," she reassured, letting go. Her eyes drifted to our connected hands briefly, but I figured she wouldn't piece anything together, so I didn't let go. She continued, "Let's get out of here. There's no hard drive anyway."

Wanda nodded and my mum and I helped her to stand up, me still not letting go of her hand.

"The hard drive is on him," Wanda spoke suddenly, nodding to the dead HYDRA agent. "I heard his thoughts before I– yeah."

My mum raised her brows with surprise. "Oh. Perfect. Y/N get the drive and let's go."

I pursed my lips, glancing at Wanda with concerned eyes. She gave me a small, reassuring smile, squeezing my hand subtly before letting go.

"Right, yeah," I said, swallowing hard.

I looked back to my mum, who seemed to be studying my expression, so I cleared my throat and left to get the drive. When I retrieved it, I jogged after Wanda and my mum, checking in on her with a small smile, before leading the way to the quinjet.

When we boarded the plane, I hung around Wanda and my mum as she helped the brunette to take a seat in the back. I noticed Wanda's momentary dizziness as she sat down and felt my chest tighten.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked, kneeling before her as my mum got the first aid kit.

Wanda gave me an endearing smile as I swiped at the blood dripping down her forehead.

"I'll be alright," she said, holding my gaze with comforting green eyes before they flickered to behind me.

"Okay, Y/N, stop hanging about and start the plane whilst I stitch Wanda up," my mum said, appearing from behind me and kneeling beside me.

I nodded, glancing between the needle, thread and disinfectant in her hands and Wanda's head. Reluctantly, I got up and left them both to it as I started up the plane and got us in the air. Once we were in the clear, I flicked on autopilot before heading back to Wanda and my mum to see how things were going.

"We'll have someone look at it properly when we get back to the tower," my mum was saying to Wanda, who was now stitched up and wearing a small bandage, "but it'll hold up for now." With a playful smile, she added, "You're not dying on me just yet."

Wanda cracked a smile and whilst I appreciated how lovely it was to see their closeness in a way I never usually saw, I was still troubled by her injury. Logically, I knew she'd be okay, but it never felt good to see her injured.

"Plane is on autopilot," I announced, making my presence known. My eyes never left Wanda's bandage as I asked, "Everything okay here?"

"You need to calm down," my mum joked, making me look her way. "It's not that serious. Just some stitches."

I smiled awkwardly, but I knew it was much more than that.

"Yeah, relax, it's not a big deal," Wanda added playfully.

Her eyes met mine and I knew she was communicating the same thing through her gaze, holding a seriousness that wasn't able to be shared verbally because of my mum's presence. I tilted my head, giving her a knowing look; she knew I was aware of how big a deal it was. All I wanted to do was give her a hug and kiss and not leave her side until she felt better. And she knew that.

"I'm gonna go fly the plane," my mum said suddenly, and I almost forgot she was standing there until she spoke up. "We'll get back to base quicker..."

I glanced at her, mildly confused at her sudden change of expression. She headed to the front of the quinjet, leaving Wanda and I alone.

"Seriously though, you should relax," Wanda said, sounding like she did when it was just her and I and nobody else. She had an amused smile on her lips as she watched me worry. "I'm fine. All stitched up."

I licked my lips, sulking, as I dragged myself over to the seat beside her. She laced our fingers together, pressing a kiss to the top of my hand before facing me with an easygoing smile.

"I'm fine," she repeated gently, lovingly, sweetly.

I offered her a small smile, before leaning forward to press a kiss to her bandage. "I know. Just don't worry me like that. Especially in front of my mum. I can't take it."

"It's cute," she noted, amusement returning. "It means a lot to know someone cares."

My shoulders relaxed. "I care too much. So, please don't test that."

She laughed and I felt my heart flutter in my chest, never getting used to the sound.

"I promise not to," she said, looking up at me through her lashes.

I leaned my head on her shoulder and kept ahold of her hand, staying with her until we arrived back at base. My mum flew us the whole way back, only coming to get us once we landed. I knew I should have left Wanda's side as to not raise suspicion with my mum, but I couldn't find it in myself to do so. I just hoped she would interpret it as two concerned friends rather than her daughter having a secret girlfriend.

"You should head to the medical wing to get checked out properly," my mum said once we were back at the tower, looking to Wanda.

"Yeah," I agreed a little too eagerly. "I'll go with you."

My mum gave me a curious look. "I mean, that's not necessary."

Wanda must have sensed my eagerness, as she said, "I'd appreciate the company, actually. I don't mind."

She shot me a subtle smile, eyes bright with reassurance.

"I'm happy to accompany you, Wanda," my mum offered, and I felt my mouth go dry.

"It's okay, mum," I said suddenly, making her look to me with pursed lips. "You can go debrief and I'll make sure Wanda is cool with everything."

Glancing between us, my mum finally nodded. "I see. I guess I'll see you both later then." She paused, looking between us once more, before adding, "You did good today. Both of you."

I looked down to my shoes as Wanda shot her a grateful smile. She walked away, leaving us be, and I immediately intertwined my fingers with Wanda's as the two of us headed to the medical wing.

"You may as well write desperate on your forehead," she teased with a beautiful smile.

"So funny," I said sarcastically, though a smile of my own was present. "Let's just get you checked out."

"If it means you'll stop pouting, then sure."

"Real jokester you are. Hilarious, honestly."

Her laughter surrounded me like a warm hug and I could have listened to it forever.

—

Since our mission together, I noticed the distance my mum was putting between her and I, and I had no idea why. I thought I was overthinking it and seeing things that weren't there, so I didn't follow up with it until one evening.

It was a rare occurrence for all of the Avengers to be at the tower at once, so when they were, we'd all have a 'family' dinner for some normalcy. Only, this time, I noticed how strange my mum was acting whenever I spoke to her. She'd either act super dismissive or give one word answers to my questions – once again, I wasn't sure if I was seeing things.

After dinner, everyone went their separate ways and Wanda and I stayed in the living-area to watch some TV. Though it was playing, the volume was lowered and neither of us were watching it. We were just talking about random stuff and enjoying each other's company.

"Okay, how about this one?" I said to Wanda, turning so I was facing her, a grin on my lips. "What did the clock do when it was hungry?"

As with all of my other attempts at making Wanda laugh, she stared at me with an amused smile and a quirked brow.

"Say it...," I encouraged, motioning for her to speak with my hand.

She sighed. "Okay, what did the clock do when it was hungry?" Mumbling, she added, "Even though clocks don't eat..."

I slapped her leg playfully. "Sshhh, you'll ruin the joke. And the answer is, they go back four seconds!"

Wanda didn't laugh, but she seemed entertained as she hid a smile. "Seriously?"

"Because of the number 'four' and the word 'for'," I explained. "C'mon, that's a good one!"

"D'you think you're funny?" she asked, eyeing me playfully. "Because you're not."

I shrugged, playing it off like I wasn't fussed. "I mean, I don't know about that... how about now?"

Before she could question me, I moved forward and began to tickle her sides, watching as she squirmed with laughter.

"Stop it!" she shouted, but her smile was as wide as ever as she was unable to stifle her laughter. "P-please! Y/N!"

"But you said I wasn't funny!" I retorted with a grin, practically straddling her as she attempted to push me off her. "I'm just checking if you still think that!"

Wanda was crying now, tears escaping the corners of her eyes as she continued to laugh. "I'm s-sorry! Y/N, stop!"

Before I could think how to respond, the doors to the living-area opened and in walked Steve Rogers AKA Captain America, a confused expression on his face as he saw me sat on Wanda.

"Hey, ladies," he greeted, raising an eyebrow. "You both good?"

I pulled my hands away from Wanda and breathed out, still smiling as I glanced down at her. She blew a strand of hair from her eyes and glared at me playfully.

"Yeah, just talking," I answered Steve, before being thrown off Wanda and to the floor with a thud.

"Just Y/N harassing me as usual," Wanda corrected, and I sat up to see her sitting up, too, fixing her hair.

Steve chuckled as he headed to the fridge in the connected kitchen. Wanda helped me back onto the couch, nudging me in the side as a response to the tickle fest, before leaning on me and stretching her legs across the couch.

"So, hey, what's up with you and your mum?" Steve asked as I continued to annoy Wanda by flicking her face.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not looking up as I grinned down at Wanda, watching as her eyes glowed red threateningly.

"Don't make me hurt you," she said teasingly, lifting a hand and summoning her powers, red wisps of energy becoming present.

I stopped flicking her and intertwined her hand in mine, watching as her eyes faded to its usual colour.

"She just seemed distant at dinner," Steve continued.

I looked up and saw he was leaning against the counter with a water bottle in his hand. Wanda continued to stretch, practically on top of me, probably to annoy me as I had been doing with her. I moved her hands out of my face as I nodded to Steve.

"So, you saw it too? She was being off, right?" I asked him, glad I wasn't just imagining things.

He nodded, gulping his water, before saying casually, "Definitely. What did you do? Finally tell her about you and Wanda?"

It took me a second to realise what he'd said, but when I did, my eyes widened and I spluttered out a terrible response. "What– what about Wanda and I?"

I glanced at Wanda as she began to sit up properly. She looked more confused than panicked.

"You know, that you're together," Steve said like it was obvious.

I cleared my throat. "What? Why would you think that?"

Steve smiled with confusion. "Wait, so you're not? But I thought–" He paused, pulling a face. "No, you are! Everybody thinks you are!"

I shrugged it off, though inside I was panicking. "I mean, even if that was the case, why do you think my mum knows?"

Steve nodded knowingly. "She's been off with you all night. And then I caught up with her after dinner and she wasn't in a very talkative mood. Just mumbled something like 'new girl, her age, pretty, nice, should have seen it coming'. I assumed she was talking about Wanda."

Heat crept up my neck with embarrassment and when I looked to Wanda, I saw her cheeks dusting a red colour, similar to the energy she could summon. She looked as flustered as I felt.

"Has your mum been okay with you before today?" Steve asked, trying to be helpful.

I chewed on my lower lip and shook my head. "Not since we got back from our last mission..."

Steve scrunched his face with sympathy. "Oof. You should probably talk to her then. You know how much she hates secrets."

I groaned internally. "Thanks for the reminder."

He saluted playfully, his stupid smile on his stupid face, before leaving Wanda and I alone again.

"Well, looks like she knows," I said to Wanda, sinking into the couch with hopes it would swallow me forever.

"She might not," Wanda tried to make me feel better, resting a hand on my leg. "It could be something else."

I gave her a knowing look. "She has to know. It's the only thing that makes sense. You heard Steve."

Wanda sighed, sinking into the couch beside me. "Yeah..." She glanced at me and I looked at her as she said, "I did tell you to tell her."

I forced a smile. "Gee, Wanda, that was helpful. Thanks."

Wanda rolled her eyes before leaning her head on my shoulder. "Sorry..."

I rested my hand on hers. "It's okay, sorry. I just– she's gonna be really mad that I kept this from her."

"Yeah, why did you do that again?" Wanda asked questioningly.

I massaged the tension between my eyebrows. "Because she's too overprotective. It gets too much to handle sometimes... Take my last boyfriend for example. He was some tool that cheated on me and, oh boy, my mum wanted to kill him. I had to physically restrain her from doing so."

"I don't blame her," Wanda quipped, a hint of bitterness in her voice.

I smiled a little, squeezing her hand. "I know... she ended up slashing his tyres and egging his car without telling me. But instead of egging the outside, she broke into it and egged the inside. A thoughtful take on a classic, I must admit."

Wanda laughed, her whole body shaking with pure amusement as she listened to the story. I couldn't help but smile myself, remembering it like it was yesterday. Definitely a fun time.

"I appreciated it, don't get me wrong," I added, smile fading. "I just didn't want that to happen again. I wanted to enjoy our relationship without anyone spying on us, y'know? But now she's gonna be super angry."

Wanda let go of my hand and rolled on top of me, leaning down on my chest so she could look me in the eyes. I wrapped my arms loosely around her to keep her steady.

"She only wants the best for you," Wanda told me gently. "You have to tell her you're sorry. Explain why you did what you did, but hear her out, too. She's your mum. Caring too much isn't a bad thing."

I groaned, knowing she was right. She smiled reassuringly, patting my chest.

"You get the caring too much thing from her by the way," she added, before leaning forward and pressing a haste kiss to my lips. "It's okay though because I love it."

I smiled, never really seeing it like that. Raising my hand, I brushed my thumb over the small bandage on her head; her injury was still healing, but she didn't let it bother her. Very Wanda-like.

"Thanks," I mumbled, meeting her gaze. "You always say the right thing."

"Which is why I'm going to tell you to get up and go to your mum," she ordered playfully, pushing herself off me and holding out her hand.

I let her pull me up before straightening up and taking a deep breath. Wanda was right. I just needed to be open and explain my piece. It would be fine.

—

So, it wasn't fine.

When I entered my mum's living quarters, she wasn't the happiest to see me. In fact, she actively turned her body to face her TV when I came through the door.

"Hey," I started with a small smile, fighting the nerves in my stomach. "Can we, er, can we talk?"

She grabbed the cushion on the couch next to her, hugging it to her chest. Her eyes didn't leave the TV, but the space next to her was free, so I took that as an opportunity to close the door and sit beside her.

The news was playing on the TV – headlines, I think – and they were talking about a new elected congressman in New York.

"Seriously? The news? Even in your free time?" I asked playfully, hoping it would lighten the mood.

She didn't even glance my way as she muttered, "I like to know what's happening in the world."

Losing my smile, I straightened up and cleared my throat. "Right, right..."

It went quiet as the TV played in the background and my mum said absolutely nothing. I grabbed the other cushion on the couch and hugged it to my chest, similar to her. It was a nervous habit that I picked up from, well, from her.

"You said you wanted to talk?" she reminded me. "So, talk."

Having the Black Widow as your mother wasn't something anyone could get used to. She could be the most caring, loving, protective person in the world, but she could also appear quiet, intimidating and ruthless like the trained assassin she was. Not the greatest combination when trying to open up to her.

"I think I know what you're thinking," I started, pinching my hand to distract from my growing anxiety.

Without hesitation, she bent forward to grab the TV remote and turned it off before turning to me with sad eyes.

"That's where you're wrong," she said calmly, and it was way worse than her yelling. I would have preferred her yelling to be honest. The disappointment in her voice was much worse. "You always assume you know what I'm thinking. What I'm going to say or do."

I avoided her eyes guiltily. "Mum, look, I know that I should have told you the truth. And I know how angry you are, but–"

"I'm not angry, Y/N!" she shouted, finally, standing up off the couch and creating space between us.

I winced. "You sound angry."

She put her hands on her hips, looking down to her feet and taking a breath. Her voice at normal volume, she said, "I'm upset. You– you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. Instead, I had to put it together when you acted how you did with Wanda after that mission and..." She paused, sighing. "Forget it."

"No, keep going," I pleaded, the guilt piercing through me sharply. "You're right."

She swallowed hard, glancing at me with glassy eyes. "I wouldn't have done anything. I know I have in the past, but this is Wanda we're talking about. I've been her mentor for a year. I care about her and– and– she's good. And she's good for you."

Okay, I definitely misread this whole thing because now my mum was upset, on the verge of tears, and I was the arsehole responsible for it.

"I'm so sorry," I said, standing up and moving forward to hold her arms. "I should have trusted you. I mean, it wasn't even about trust. I was just scared you'd react badly. But it wrong of me to assume that."

She frowned, looking down to her shoes. "I know I can be tough sometimes, but it's only because I care."

I thought back to Wanda's words and gave her a small smile. "I know. I get it from you."

"I am happy for you, you know," she said, glancing at me petulantly.

My expression softened. "Thank you. That means a lot coming from you."

Without another word, she pulled me in for a motherly hug, making me close my eyes and relax in her arms. I still felt horrible for making her feel like I couldn't trust her when it was anything but that.

"I'm sorry," I repeated quietly into her shoulder.

"I forgive you," she said, before pulling away and giving me a small smile. "Now tell me. You're happy?"

The thought of being with Wanda gave me butterflies and I couldn't help but smile in response. With a nod, I said, "I am."

She nodded, squeezing my shoulders gently before fully letting go. "Good. I'm glad you've got her... I know you can take care of yourself, but she's strong, too. She can look out for you when I'm not around anymore."

I shoved her in the shoulder. "Don't joke about that. She isn't replacing you and you're not going anywhere, you hear me?"

She laughed, nodding. "Not yet anyway. But sure, okay."

I relaxed and gave her a nervous smile. "So, you wanna meet Wanda? Like, as my girlfriend and not your student?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "If I must."

I smiled widely, grabbing her hand and leading her to the door. "She loves you a lot, y'know. She wanted me to tell you about us as soon as we got together. She hated lying to you."

"Yeah because she knows that lying is wrong," she teased me, making me groan loudly. With a chuckle, she added, "I love her, too. She's definitely something."

"Hell yeah she is," I said in agreement, grinning to my mum as I dragged her to the living-area where I last left Wanda.

On the way, we passed Steve in the hall, who took notice of the smiles on our faces and nodded knowingly.

"Glad to see you worked it out," he said supportively.

"Thanks for the heads up," I told him gratefully as we passed him.

When we reached the living-area, I saw Wanda sat on the couch watching TV. When she saw who entered, she straightened up instantly, moving to stand and unsure what else to say or do. It was cute, the respect she had for my mum.

"Did you– I– She told you?" she stumbled over her words, starting to speak to me but eventually looking to my mum.

My mum glanced at me before meeting Wanda's nervous eyes. "She did."

Wanda licked her lips anxiously. "And you're okay with it...? Angry...? Wanna kill me...?"

I watched my mum, nodding encouragingly to her. She sighed before giving Wanda a small smile.

"No killing will be necessary," she reassured my girlfriend. "Unless, of course, you break my daughter's heart. Then in which case, I may have to find you when you're sleeping."

"Mum!" I complained, face falling into my hands with embarrassment.

"I'm just being truthful," my mum said with seriousness, before looking to Wanda expectantly.

Wanda surprisingly took it well, probably used to my mum's personality after training with her for a year. "I understand completely, Nat and I'll hold you to that. I have no intention of breaking Y/N's heart."

A rare, genuine smile appeared on my mother's lips. "I know you don't. Just–" She paused, glancing at me. "Keep her safe, yeah? She's a bit stupid sometimes."

Wanda laughed as my mum smiled with amusement, like it was an inside joke.

"Right here, you know," I reminded them with a wave of my hand.

They only rolled their eyes.

"I will," Wanda promised my mum. "Thank you for being okay with this."

My mum nodded, giving us both a final smile and once over, before saying, "I'll leave you to it. Goodnight."

Wanda and I bid our goodnights, watching her leave before a giant sigh of relief escaped our lips.

"You feel better?" Wanda asked me, grabbing my hand and tugging me to the couch.

She let me fall on her chest easily, snuggling up to her as she wrapped an arm around me and held me close. I inhaled her perfume, a familiar and comforting scent, as my head rested in the crook of her neck.

"I feel better," I answered, closing my eyes and letting her intertwine our fingers.

"I believe this is the part where you say I was right," she prompted, a hint of amusement in her words.

"Don't make me hurt you," I mumbled, making her laugh quietly beneath me.

"You're lucky I love you," she said, kissing the top of my head. "I guess opposites do attract. You're the stupid one and I'm the clever one."

"Wanda?"

"Yeah?"

"Fuck off."

She laughed again, and even though it was at me, I couldn't help the content smile from spreading on my lips.

[gildedmuse]

Hey, everyone.

So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.

But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.

.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.

Shanks Is A Bad Influence

It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:

He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.

That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.

My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.

Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?

Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!

Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*

Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?

Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.

Benn: You didn't.

Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.

Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.

Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.

Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!

Mihawk: Are you quite done?

Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?

Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?

Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.

Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.

Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.

Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.

Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?

Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.

Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.

Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.

Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.

Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?

Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.

Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...

Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.

Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.

Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).

Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?

Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.

Shanks: ....

Shanks: ....

Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!

Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?

Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.

Mihawk: And silence.

Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.

Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.

Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?

The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?

It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.

He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.

Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.

It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)

Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.

Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.

That's fine then.

Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.

They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.

So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be

Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.

Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.

One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.

The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.

Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.

Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)

"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"

Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.

That lasted until Roronoa.

(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

*Cross out, scribbles*

*Hands back to Benn*

Do Not Do:

- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.

Ace: Hey what's up?

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.

After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.

Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-

Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.

Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?

Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.

Shanks: BABYSIT!?

Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.

Shanks: TROUBLED!?

Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.

Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!

No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.

Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act

Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.

Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*

Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*

Mihawk: I have my reasons.

They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.

Shanks: Sounds fake to me

Shanks: But guys!

Shanks: This isn't about you

He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.

Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

Living up to the Name pt 3

"Out of all possible scenarios, he chose this," Jack grumbled. As he and Ruggie tried to concentrate on finding a familiar smell.

"Don't be a buzzkill, Jack. Besides, she looked excited." The hyena pointed out. Recalling how the girl bounced excitedly at Leona's suggestion.

"Still, This feels wrong." He retorted.

Leona decided to move their training to the forest, in his words 'to give a fair advantage.'

"Oi! Jack, be quiet. You'll give away our position." A jaguar upperclassman harshly whispered. He and two more students were sniffing the air, then the jaguar froze.

"Shit, she-" A kick to his face cut him off before he could finish. The figure leaped up and landed on a tree branch high up.

"You guys have to do better than that to catch me~" A sing-song voice called from above.

Valerie smiled sweetly above them, but her mocking glare proved otherwise.

Thanks to her transformation, all her abilities have been drastically enhanced. She was faster, her kicks were more powerful, and her danger sense, or what she likes to call 'Bunny sense' was dialed up to a 100. Making it easier to avoid predators, aka Savanaclaw.

"Gotta go. I have more faces to kick and prides to ruin." She blew them a kiss and disappeared through the thicket of the trees.

"She's so hot."

Heads' snapped to the bear first-year, whose glazed eyes still stared at the spot she's been on.

"Fangirl about her later! We're still in the middle of something." The jaguar snapped at him. The bear blushed and muttered incoherently under his breathe.

Ruggie ran his fingers through his hair. They need a strategy to catch her, which involves teamwork, and knowing how NRC students are, this will be hell.

"I wonder how that lazy lion is doing?" He mused.

She was better at hiding than Leona gave her credit for.

The first half-hour of their training was spent looking for the girl. Which wasn't hard, with that delightful scent of hers. It leads them farther to the forest, where the foliage is dense enough to hide a dead body.

Clever, Herbivore. But not enough.

Honestly, he was a little disappointed with her idea. He was expecting a challenge since she loved giving it to him.

Tearing through the thicket, he and his dorm mates prowled the area. Each of them in various corners, in an attempt to locater her better.

"Senior Leona." A jackal beastman spoke up.

"What is it?"

"It's miss Valerie's scent. Something's up." He replied, sniffing the air.

Leona took a whiff, and sure enough, it smelled faint and all over the place?

"Masking your scent with mud. Herbivore? Heh, at least your trying."

The lion nodded to his dorm mates, who proceeded to split up and try to find their prey the girl.

The jackal perked up when the sweet aroma was much more potent. Nudging to a leopard beastman who seemed to realized as well.

As quietly as they could, they snuck up to a large hedge that permeated with her scent.

They crept closer and closer and closer...

They pounced. Once the students felt something soft, their hold tightened.

Leona paused from tearing another bush. Happy shouts were clear as day.

Good, they found her.

He jogged his way over to his fresh babies. However, as he got near, there was a change in the atmosphere. Silence replaced the noise; it was almost ominous.

Valerie's scent changed the most; it was so faint and different.

He finally reached the clearing. Their backs were turned to him, and he couldn't see what they were holding.

"Oi."

The jackal and leopard rapidly turned to face him, hiding their captured prey behind their back.

"S-Senior Leona!" The leopard stammered.

"What's up with you two? Didn't you shout you have her?"

"Uhh...W-wait! Senior Leona!" The jackal exclaimed in surprise when the lion marched towards them. Pushing them aside to see the girl-

That's not Valerie.

In front of him was a large and plump brown rabbit, and it was wearing her vest.

Everything up till now began to make sense, causing Leona to chuckle.

"So that's the real plan, huh?"

His ears twitched as the wind picked up. His eyes narrowed.

"Move back!" The lion ordered. Jumping to the shade of the trees.

But it was too late. The freshmen were down before they could do anything. Standing on top of their bodies was the very girl they were chasing.

"I'm surprised it took you this long to figure it out. You really are losing your edge, Kitty."

Valerie giggled at Leona's snarling face. She tugged her vest off the rabbit; before disappearing.

Leona could feel his blood boil. From frustration or excitement, he wasn't sure at this point, but he does know one thing.

Valerie just cemented her role as prey.

-----------------------------------------

It's been hours, and not one of them had a chance to catch her. There were a few close calls, but she always managed to be two steps ahead of them. It doesn't help that she mocks them for every failed attempt. One of them got angry enough a tried to bite her, but Valerie kicked his jaw before he could.

On the bright side, the boys could feel their bodies improving. They still have a long way to go, but it's progress.

Valerie nimbly landed on the ground, catching her breath. It's been a long time she did something like this.

A wistful smile formed on her face as she remembered the times she and her mom played tag. Her mother used the game as a form of training for her speed, stamina, and agility. Being a competitive child she was, she got too into it.

'Thinking about it now, mom used a lot of ordinary games as a form of training.' The opal-eyed girl mused.

Wiping her brow, she glanced at the sky. She couldn't tell how much had passed, but she could guess it was nearly noon.

Suddenly, her ears stood up. There was aloud howling in the distance, followed by more animalistic sounds, till it became a wild symphony.

"The hell?" The brunette muttered in confusion. She winced and held her head. The downside of having enhanced hearing is that everything is louder, and this wild symphony giving her a headache.

"Pull it together, Valerie. You dealt with worse." She mumbled, even slapping her face for good measure.

With new vigor, Valerie pushed forward through the forest, even as her whole body screamed to find somewhere to hide.

Sigh, prey instincts.

Though she kept her opal eyes ahead, she in-tuned with her surroundings. Her ears now worked as antennas, constantly on high alert to warn her of predators.

Her ears twitched; she jumped left just in time to dodge a pouncing jaguar beastman. A low growl escaped the jaguar's throat and pounced again.

Valerie waited till he was near enough and delivered a front kick beneath his jaw. He staggered back in pain, giving her enough time to rush forward, and low swept him. He groaned in pain once his back felt the impact.

"You predators are really losing your edge if you kept getting your asses beaten by a rabbit. But then again, it's me" The girl deviously smiled at the fallen student.

The girl sensed another presence behind her and jumped to the trees. She narrowed her eyes at the culprit.

"Such an arrogant statement coming from a tiny herbivore. Looks like we have to put you in your place."

Leona emerged from the thicket with a cocky smirk in place and an unreadable glint in his eyes.

Valerie remained silent, simply assessing the number of beastmen present. There were seven of them; easy. There was also no sign of Jack and Ruggie, but they could be hiding.

"How can you call my words arrogant? I'm simply stating the truth." She retorted, smirking down at him.

"Let's just see how true your words are when I have my fangs on your neck."

"Before that, perhaps should I suffocate you between my thighs?"

"Heh, only after I crush your legs."

"Are...They flirting?" Questioned a bewildered ocelot beastman.

"I thought she was stupid when it comes to romance?" Added a dingo.

"Try not to think about it." Advised a lynx.

"Sorry, kitty kay, I may have agreed to help you guys in training, but I'm not going to bow down to you."

"Likewise, Herbivore."

A mischievous smile formed on her face. The girl launched herself out of the tree and aimed a kick to his face, but he blocked it. Valerie quickly switched to jabbing his left side.

Leona slammed his eyes shut, a deep growl resonated within him. He attempted to grab her arm. But she leaped up and delivered a front kick to his chin, pushing him away from her. However, she was now surrounded by other beastmen.

Valerie avoided an oncoming punch from the dingo and delivered one to his gut. He recoiled in pain and clutched his stomach. Her ears twitched and sidestepped, just in time for a charging lynx to crash into him.

Twitching again, she turned around and caught the ocelot's leg; she spun him around while knocking out three more before throwing him.

Satisfied that she took care of the beta males, she turned her attention back to the alpha. Only to realize that he disappeared.

Her whole body was on high alert. She took a battle stance, surveying her surrounding. She cursed herself for being so careless; he used them as decoys. Like she did.

"Touché, Kitty." She muttered.

Deciding she stayed long enough, she ran in the opposite direction.

Valerie bit her bottom lip once she heard footsteps behind her.

He really wanted to turn this into a real hunt.

Fine, she'll give him one.

Increasing her speed, she sprinted through the area utilizing the trees as boosters.

She glanced behind her and clenched her jaw. Leona was nowhere in sight. She had two ideas: Either he took a detour and was waiting to pounce on her or, she lost him; she hoped it was the latter.

Biting her inner cheek, she was about to take a turn when she heard footsteps. She jumped back, narrowly avoiding a claw to her face.

"I was wondering where you were, never thought you actually risk an ambush." The opal-eyed girl remarked as she kept her distance from him, taking up a fighting stance.

"If I'm up against you? I'll try anything." The male retorted mirroring her movements.

The wolf and rabbit glared at each other, waiting for one of them to make a move. It was as if the area went still around them, blocking out all noise; only the thumping of their hearts was heard.

Jack was the first to move. He ran forward with the girl following the suit, but once close enough, she leaped up and stomped on his head. He staggered back, gritting his teeth and holding his head. Valerie landed behind him, giving a swift kick to his side; the wolf fell to his side, hissing at the impact.

A deep growl escaped his throat when he heard her laughter; he swiped underneath her legs. The girl fell back, wide-eyed, and internally cursed herself for letting her guard down.

Picking himself up, he grabbed her ankle and flung her to the trees. The girl shrieked in pain, coughing; she found specks of blood on the ground, her blood. Although she struggled to stand up, she had enough energy to avoid Jack's next attack.

Jack swung his fist to her face, but she intercepted by grabbing his arm and flipped him to the ground. He grunted in pain when Valerie placed her foot on his chest.

"I thought I might return a favor fluffy." She smirked at his fallen body. He glared up at her. She was about to make another comment when her ears twitched, frowning; she leaped up to the trees and glared at the intruder.

"Damn, and here I was going to surprise you. Then again, those ears of yours work just like satellites, shishishishi." Ruggie laughed as she strolled through the area.

"I keep getting more surprises."

Just like lighting, she sprung herself out of the tree and delivered a direct kick to Ruggie's gut. The poor hyena coughed up blood upon the impact and curled up into a ball once he fell on the ground. All the while groaning in pain.

"And here I thought he would at least withstand half of it, oh well." She ducked down, already sensing Jack's incoming punch, and kicked his chest.

It knocked him a few feet away from her; Jack felt something dribble down his chin, wiping he found bits of blood coating it.

Clenching his fist; a low growl erupted his throat; charging, he swung his fist narrowly, hitting her face. Valerie responded by front kicking his chin; Jack grunted but didn't falter in his movements.

Valerie unleashed a barrage of kicks, driving him back until he felt the tree behind him. Jack gritted his teeth but bared with it; he waited until he found an opening between her kicks. She paused for a second, but it was all Jack needed. He socked her in the gut, successfully pushing her back.

She gasped at the impact, wincing at the pain on her stomach that she failed to notice Jack grabbing her body and slammed her to the ground. He reached to grab her ears, but the opal-eyed girl rolled away and swiped under his legs. Jack fell back, glaring up at the now standing girl.

"You know you can't beat me." She panted.

Blood was dripping down at the side of her face. The sun was behind her forming a shadow over her eyes giving them a glow. She looked like a predator.

"I know, but he can." He countered.

Before Valerie could decipher his words. She was lifted up again, but this time pinned to the ground.

"Looks like you forgot something, Herbivore." Hot breathe tickled her face as familiar hands kept a firm grip on her.

"A lion always waits for their prey to lower their guard."

________________

"Ughhh, it hurts." Ruggie groaned. He laid on a bed with an ice pack on his stomach.

He and the rest of the Savanclaw students are in the infirmary. Each of them was the victim of the girl's brutal beatings.

"How the hell is someone so tiny is that insanely strong?" The leopard beastman muttered, nursing his jaw.

"The question is, is she even human?" The ocelot commented, bandages covering his body.

Speaking of her...

Valerie hissed when the ghost rubbed a special ointment of her back to heal the swelling. She was behind a curtain, giving her the privacy she needed.

"And there we go, you can put your shirt on and make sure to not put too much strain on yourself, young lady. I heard from the ghosts in Ramshackle you're the reckless type." The ghost gave her a mirthful smile. She chuckled.

"Yeah, I will."

"No, she won't." Grim chimed in.

He sat next to her on the bed and shot the girl a knowing look, to which she laughed nervously.

"I promise, really."

"You better, and you call me troublesome."

"Okay, okay, let's go." She picked him and stepped out of the curtain. She winced a bit when she saw how badly bruised they all looked.

"You really went all out on them." The cat monster commented; almost half of them were covered in bandages and band-aids.

"You know me, I always love a challenge." Her grin was filled with mischief.

She walked up to her favorite Savanaclaw trio. Jack was getting his face treated since she kicked there the most while Leona sat next to Ruggie since he had minor injuries.

"Hey, guys, who are you feeling?" She asked.

"Like a truck ran me over." The hyena retorted. The girl nervously laughed.

"Right, sorry."

"Don't be. You went all out; it's insulting if you didn't." Jack interjected. He hissed when the swab touched his hips lower lip.

"Don't talk, young man." Scolded the ghost.

"You were pretty good out there, Valerie. But you let your guard down too soon. Your lucky it was only training. Otherwise, you would have gotten eaten up." The lion smirked.

"As if I let you." She huffed.

"But, it has been a good experience. Might as well do this again next time." He added.

"Sure, I love to kick your butts and win next time." She gave a devil-like smile.

"Anyway, I have to wash up and head to Heartslyabul." She turned around, only bumped into the beastmen.

"Ah, I'm sorry-" She didn't get to finish when he briskly walked past her. Valerie observed his appearance; he had a pumpkin-colored reptile tail with burgundy fins and bronze horns. His body was wrapped in gauze and had bandages covering his arms.

"Don't take it too personally. He's still not used to being beaten by a woman." Leona spoke up.

"Mm? What do you mean?" The girl was puzzled.

"You see the guys with dragon tails?" He asked. Glancing around, she did notice a few of them. She locked eyes with one, he immediately looked away.

"They're from Cloud Valley; in their culture, women are treated lesser than men, always expected to be submissive, fragile, and obedient. The complete opposite to the women in the Afterglow Savannah." He elaborated.

"So it's a big shocked for them to know such a tiny prey can beat them so easily."

That filled her with pride. Her family raised her to be independent and strong; and above all, never take shit from misogynists.

"Oi! Kemonohito!" A voice boomed. Valerie winced at the frequency of his voice. Everyone's heads turned to see a dragonkin with a scarlet tail and white fins standing in front of her.

"I demand a re-match! Your abilities were just enhanced because your half rabbit. I refuse to acknowledge defeat by a woman!" He boomed.

"Maybe next time." She simply replied.

"Oh? What's this? Already backing down? Expected for a female to be too scared-"

"No. I already have plans this afternoon, not to mention your too injured. The opal-eyed girl interrupted, taking note of his bandaged face and body.

"This is nothing! Fight me!"

"Young man, no shouting." One ghost staff scolded, quickly leading him away from the girl and her monster.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go. See you guys."

________________

Valerie hummed a random tune as she dried her hair. Thanks to Amane giving her his credit card, she was able to buy the things she desperately needed, such has extra cleaning supplies , bathroom necessities and a hair dryer.

Putting the hair dryer down, she examined herself on the mirror. She wore a Heartslyabul uniform, switching out the pants with a pleated thigh length skirt, a white thigh-high on her right leg, a white crew length sock with black diamond pattern on her left and red and white sneakers. She also tied her ears with a black ribbon around them.

"Are you almost done?" Grim lazily drawled. He was sprawled on the bed, his pudgy stomach on display.

"Already am." She answered.

"Good, cause your phone was ringing." He rolled to his left, revealing the girl's phone. Picking it up and opening it to her messages, the sender read 'Braincell 1'

'Yo Val, you and Grim have to walk here by yourselves. Me and chicken boy can't pick you up cause we have an emergency and it requires all dorm members cooperation.'

She texted back

'k'

Picking up her little gremlin, strolled out and headed downstairs.

"Where Ace and Deuce?" questioned Grim.

"They have an emergency which required all dorm members." She answered, walking out of the house.

"Huh, probably something related to food." The cat proclaimed, as he climbed up to her shoulders and draped himself there.

She merely hummed.

They arrived in mirror hall. As she stepped in, Valerie almost got knocked down by a rushing students.

"S-sorry, miss Valerie." He apologized before running again.

Glancing at each other, the Ramshackle duo continued their journey, all the while watching students tripping over their feet looking for something. It wasn't long before they spotted a familiar redhead and bluette by the bushes.

"Damn it, where are they? They couldn't gotten that far." Ace muttered.

"Maybe we should try a different spot." Suggested Deuce.

"Guys?" A feminine voice snapped them out and turned around.

Their eyes bulged out when they saw her ears. A palpable silence overtook them, until...

"Pffftt-"

All eyes turned to Ace as he covered his mouth with right arm, and shaking. Finally he blew up.

"HAHAHAAHA! Oh great seven this hilarious! You're an actual rabbit!" He kept on laughing. Deuce had small blush on his face when he stared at her, she looked like a porcelain doll.

"You know very well I hate those." Valerie monotonous voice rang out. A displeased look covered her face from being compared to an item she hated the most.

Crap, he thought out loud.

"I-I-I'm so sorry!" Deuce bowed, which made Ace laughed louder.

"Its fine." She huffed. "Anyway, what happened? What's the emergency?"

Ace shut up and Deuce tentatively bit his lower lip.

"Its the hedgehogs, they broke out in their cages again. The unbirthday party will start soon and no one has found them yet." The peacock-eyed boy answered.

"Riddle almost lost control when he found out, and its not getting any better." The cherry-eyed boy added.

"I could help." The girl offered. "My ears are practically antennas, and they've been a great help in dealing with Savanaclaw, I think I can find the hedgehogs in no time."

They seem to contemplate her words, before nodding to each other.

"Alright, Princess, we're counting on you." Ace grinned.

The girl gave a mock salute before taking Grim off her and dropping him on Ace. She sprinted away, she picked a small clearing.

Valerie crouched down and closed her eyes. She blocked out the noise surrounding her, focusing on the chitter and footsteps of the hedgehogs. Breathing softly she waited for even the faintest noise.

Instantly her ears twitched, perking a bit she turned to the left. Sprinting off she found a red and blue hedgehogs under a tree. Valerie slowly made her towards them and crouch to their height.

"Hi." She gently called out. Slowly reaching her hand out, it sniffed it before coming near and rubbing itself on it.

"You guys are bunch escape artist huh?" She mused, delicately picking it up. Her ears perked up, catching a faint conversation. Following till she found herself with two mobs.

"M-miss Valerie!" They exclaimed in surprised, especially to her ears.

"Here." She placed them on their hands.

"Thank you."

"No problem. Now if you excuse me, I got more to find."

She did this a few more times: She would listen to the hedgehogs, find them and give them to a nearby Heartslyabul student. So far she found at least 20 or so for half an hour.

Valerie huffed and fanned herself using her shirt, she having a particularly hard time in finding these guys. The tiny things were master on invasion and giving her a good challenge. Inhaling she concentrated once more, walking silently as she did in hopes to hear the better.

Finally, soft rustling in the bushes caught her attention. Nimbly making her way to the source, she pulled it back to to find a red, green and orange hedgehogs staring up at her.

"C'mere." She scooped them up and made her way to the nearest students, whose hair perfectly matched the hedgehogs she's carrying.

They blinked at the sight before them, heat rising to their cheeks at the adorable sight.

"V-Valerie." Riddle stuttered, clearly didn't expect this.

"Yeah, hi." She sheepishly grinned.

"This is an interesting turn of events?" Commented Trey, fixing his gaze on her ears.

"Vally, you look so cute!" The strawberry blonde gushed, taking out his phone and snapping pictures of the girl.

"Haha, thank you Cater." She did cute little poses. Holding the hedgehogs up to her face.

"#Cutie! #Rabbitears #foundthehedgehogs #livinguptothename." He quickly uploaded it.

Riddle quickly regained his composure and took the hedgehogs out of her hands.

"Thank you, Valerie now we can resume the unbirthday party."

"So." Deuce started. "What happened to you?"

After placing the hedgehogs in their cages, everyone was seated on the tables and enjoying the party, and were quite curious of her ears.

The girl summarized on what happened yesterday and this morning. Ace snickered at the end of her explanation.

"Jeez, Val, your a total disaster magnet." He ran his finger on her ears.

"It gets worse when I'm with you guys." She teased.

"Your so mean, Princess!" Ace dramatically placed his hand over his heart, 'hurt' by her words.

"But you look so cute! Look how much likes your photo is getting." The leaf-green eyed male showed her his phone, which was gradually getting likes.

"They don't make you uncomfortable, do they?" Trey asked, as he handed her another strawberry tart. Which she gratefully accepted.

"Besides having more sensitive hearing, I'm good" She replied. She moved her hands up, away from Grim's greedy outstretched paws. Trey handed him a blueberry cheesecake.

"This transformation has been a great help, especially when dealing with Savanaclaw. You should have seen the amount of students I sent in the infirmary." She added with a giggle.

"There was even a dragon there that wanted to challenge her. But he got dragged off." Grim chimed in, taking large bite of his cheesecake.

"A dragon?"

"He brushed off my abilities because of the potion." Just remembering his words gave her a headache.

Ugh, if mom was in Cloud Valley she would have made every man there submit to her.

"But in the end, you still sustain injuries." Riddle interjected, examining her bandaged arm. He sipped his tea as the girl's face flushed.

"T-that's a mistake in my part. I got ahead of myself, I would have still beaten Leona if I had been more aware of my surroundings." Frustration crinkled her eyes, with those ears of hers should would have heard him and at least give him a black eye.

Mom would have scold her for her carelessness.

"Aww, don't make that face Vally; let's just enjoy the party." Cater coaxed bring her and Grim for a selfie, which was soon joined by Ace, Deuce and Trey who grabbed Riddle with him.

"Say cheese!"

________________

"Miss her ears already." Deuce mumbled, as he stared at the girl.

As promised, Crewel gave her the antidote and she reverted back to her normal self. Although, some were beginning to miss her ears.

They just looked so cute on her.

It was P.E and they were doing some warm up stretches. Valerie was just doing splits when a shadow fell over her.

"Kemonohito! Re-match now!"

This guy...

"We're in class. Can we do this later?" She reasoned.

His face twisted in anger, before a whistle blew.

"Alright! I prepared an obstacle course! Whoever reaches the finish line first in the shortest amount of time will receive a plus points!"

One by one the boys took the course, Vargas always saved Valerie for last cause he knows that she might destroy everything.

Vargas focused his gaze on Valerie.

"Kemonohito you're up!"

As she took her position, she examined the field. High walls, mannequins, vaults and beams, perfect for her rabbit self, but it wasn't there anymore. She shook her head, she trained for years, she didn't need it.

The whistle blew

She blurred through the field. Destroying the mannequins and jumping over the high walls with ease. By the time she finished it, she left a path of destruction.

"2:05s! The fastest one yet! Fantastic job, but next time don't destroy everything. Seriously I just got this raise." The man grumbled more as he scribbled on his clipboard.

Meanwhile, her idiot trio stared at her, shock written on their faces. When she walked up to them, they bombarded her with questions.

"How did you do that!?"

"Can you teach me!

"I thought you weren't a rabbit anymore."

All she could do was shrug.

"Maybe I got the leftover DNA. But whatever the case is, I love it."

She had a wide smile on their face, oh this was going to be good.

A/N: Cloud Valley belongs to @phoenix-manga

@poisonapplecakes1312

[eternaldrukkarii]

the eternals in hogwarts houses because why not

ajak: slytherin

i know she’s very motherly which doesn’t exactly scream slytherin, but she did invariably let so many planets—aka billions of people—die over the course of millions of years. she also kept so many secrets from the eternals. in the end she had a change of heart and we saw that her family and the people of earth meant more to her than arishem or her mission but it took her a while to get there, didn’t it? for her it wasn’t a matter of belief or morality, it was a matter of priorities. and she chose to prioritize humanity and the eternals over arishem and his design.

ikaris: gryffindor

now before anyone gets onto my case about this, let’s think about it. ikaris did what he did not for his own personal gain. he did it because he truly, genuinely believed with his whole being that it was the right thing. he didn’t like who he became and what he had to do but for most of his story, for seven thousand years, that was the most important thing to him. until the last second. he also had this sort of self-righteous, holier-than-thou vibe about him. this man is a gryffindor.

sersi: hufflepuff

pretty self-explanatory if you ask me. just because she was brave and powerful, doesn’t make her any less of a bonafide hufflepuff. she was kind and selfless and loyal and driven. a hard-worker and an honest, sincere woman willing to do anything for others. a hufflepuff.

phastos: ravenclaw

again, i think this one speaks for itself. he’s a creator, an inventor, an innovator. his mind is light years ahead of any of ours. he is beyond his time. he is curious and inquisitive and always looking for more. and better yet, he wants to share it with us all so we can have it too.

sprite: slytherin

she’s jealous and self-conscious and mainly self-motivated. she never liked living with humans and the first chance she got to get rid of us all, she took it. more than a little petty and very sarcastic, if she isn’t a slytherin (in many of the worst ways) then idk who is.

thena: slytherin

truthfully, i went back and forth on this a lot. i considered gryffindor because of how moral she is and ravenclaw based off of her being the goddess of wisdom. but in the end, i think every day of the week she’d prioritize her family and the things that make her happy over the greater good? it may be selfish but it’s valid too. i think as humans we’re just lucky that one of those things included us. but she’s not above things like revenge and pettiness as we can see with ikaris and kro. she’s also allegedly a strategist (athena) and you’d have to be logical and analytical for that. so slytherin.

gilgamesh: hufflepuff

again, i don’t think this is an unpopular opinion. look at him. look at how loving and nurturing and loyal and kind and totally badass he is and try and take this from my cold, dead hands. you can’t.

kingo: gryffindor

for many of the same reasons as ikaris but where ikaris embodies many negative gryffindor traits, kingo is the opposite. kingo too has strong beliefs and when he refuses to join the final fight because of them, we can see that he absolutely will take a stand for them nor will he sway from them. but unlike ikaris, he refuses to hurt anyone for his beliefs. in the end, he follows his heart and he just wants everyone else to follow theirs. no matter what that might mean.

druig: gryffindor

hot take, i’m sure. yes, he’s sarcastic. yes, he can be a bit of an asshole sometimes. yes, he seems to stand more on the side of logic and reasoning. but you cannot change my mind. his morals are strong and he always stands by them, even if it means leaving the family he’s had for thousands of years and betraying their mission. he’s stubborn like that. he’s also not above impulsivity as we can see from him stopping the massacre of tenochtitlan. it was a split second decision. he was also more than willing to give his life on a mostly half-baked plan to save the world. he’s not just the edgy bastard a lot of you make him out to be. he feels for people and wants to do right by them all.

makkari: ravenclaw

this is another one that i went back and forth with. i really considered gryffindor for her as well, but i think it’s the development that they actually cut from makkari that points to ravenclaw. like in the deleted scene where she tells sprite that she hoarded all those human things because she didn’t want to seem them destroyed. she couldn’t stand the humans ruining their own history and culture. it was also said in some promotion (i can’t remember which) that makkari has traveled every single inch of the world and is a little bored staying on earth after because she wants to see and explore more planets. but her knowledge of earth and its people is almost infinite. hence ravenclaw.

extras!!

karun: hufflepuff!!

mans may just want a little bit of adventure but that’s not a gryffindor exclusive trait. in the end, he shows himself to be a fiercely kind and loyal and loving man and a true friend to kingo and humanity. i can’t imagine him as anything else.

dane: ravenclaw!!

he’s a professor who loves his cool (historian?) girlfriend even though she turns out to basically be an immortal witchy alien robot. he has many questions but he rolls with the punches and keeps learning more and more. what more can you ask from your friendly neighborhood happy-go-lucky ravenclaw?

[lexosaurus]

Pink Astronaut

This is my secret santa gift for Anectoplasm on discord! Happy holidays, and I hope you enjoy!

Characters: Danny/Paulina Genre: Fluff Word Count: 4549 Summary: To Paulina's dismay, she and Danny Fenton must work together on their English final project.

Read on [ao3] [ffn]

---

It was Lancer’s fault, really. 

He assigned the class a partner-project for their final presentation, but being the annoying teacher he was, he had decided it was imperative that the students  were assigned to pairs of his choosing. Aka, no working with friends.

Paulina tried her best. Truly, she did. She batted her eyelashes and put on her most polite tone when she said, “Pretty please with extra whipped cream and a cherry on top, can I work with Star instead of Loser Fenton?” 

But, to her utter dismay, Mr. Lancer was a brick wall. No amount of wit nor charm could change his rubric, and so Paulina relented in a very much not dramatic final sigh as she resigned herself to be Danny Fenton’s English partner for the coming weeks.

Fenton was...well, he was weird. His parents hunted ghosts, he always slept through class, he was clumsy, and Paulina knew that in middle school Fenton was just like all the other boys who saw her as nothing more than a pretty face.

And that annoyed her to her core. She was a human, damn it! She had her own wishes and dreams and goals in life. Although she wasn’t vocal about it, she wanted to be a journalist when she was older. The kind that made it to shows like 60 Minutes, reporting on amazing stories from all around the world. She wanted to travel, she wanted to meet people, and she wanted to be the best at it. 

She was still a long way off from that now though. First, she needed to survive through this stupid English project with that weird nerd who had gone through a not-so-secret crush on her before.

Though, when she looked his way now, Fenton didn’t look all too thrilled to be partnered with her either.

She would have called it odd, but that had been their dynamic for a little over a year now. She guessed that Fenton finally got the hint and dropped his love struck puppy act. Maybe he and Sam had finally confessed their undying love to each other. 

It was probably for the best.

Fenton made no move towards her, instead choosing to stare dully into his notebook.

Paulina rolled her eyes and slid from her chair. She strode over to his desk, throwing a hand on her waist and looking down at him with an expression she knew would yield no arguments. “Alright, my house or yours?” 

“Huh?” Fenton said, recognizing a little too late that she was there.

“For the project? The one we were just assigned? Hello, Earth to Commander Fenton! My house or yours today?”

“Today?” Fenton blinked. “You wanna start today?”

Paulina narrowed her eyes. “Why, got something better to do?”

“Well—it’s just—”

“I’ll come over at four. I’ll be at cheer practice till then. If you want anything from Starbucks, just text me before then. I know Manson has my number, you can get it from her.”

She left him sitting dumbly in his chair. No one was getting in the way of her and that A, especially not some nerd who couldn’t even bother to care about school.

But, to Paulina’s surprise, Fenton actually opened the door for her when she showed up to his house that afternoon. Half of her expected him to blow her off, just ghost her and leave her to do all the work. And yet, he brought her into his kitchen, got out his notebook, and got right to work.

It was unnerving to see him so studious. She remembered Fenton as a nerd in middle school, but everyone knew about the absolute nose-dive his grades took once he got to high school. It wasn’t exactly a secret, what with him skipping class every other day.

The duo parted ways with a promise to meet up again over the weekend. Again, to Paulina’s pleasant surprise, he actually texted her to confirm their plans. And when Paulina stepped into the Starbucks that Saturday afternoon, Danny was already sitting at a table waiting for her, his notebook out and the project rubric between his fingers.

This much good luck was sure to run out, but Paulina just hoped that Fenton could last another few weeks before he inevitably dropped the ball.

Except, that never happened. Each time they set up plans to work on their presentation, Fenton would show up, he would focus on the work, and they’d part ways with plans to reconvene later. It was uncanny. It was so unlike everything Paulina had come to know of Fenton through these months.

And Paulina wondered if maybe, just maybe, this was who Fenton really was. 

Under all those disciplinary actions, the dropped beakers, the tardies, the unfinished assignments and failed grades, if this was hidden underneath.

So then that begged the question: why didn’t he show this side of himself more? Why was he failing if he was clearly capable of doing the work?

And so Paulina sat there, just a week before they were set to give their presentation, scrutinizing Fenton’s features as he recited a passage from the book they were analyzing. She noted the bags under his eyes, the bruise on his cheek, the way his face seemed to tighten every time he coughed.

He had arrived a few minutes late that day, and she remembered how he entered the classroom, his gate just a little too stiff to be natural.

Someone had hurt Fenton, Paulina realized. Someone had beat him up.

For reasons she didn’t know, hot anger flashed over her. Someone beat up Danny, a kid who was clumsy and could be a bit slow on the uptake, but someone who Paulina had come to understand was a rather kind and gentle classmate.

Yet someone didn’t care.

So the next day, maybe she stormed up to Dash a little too aggressively to demand, “What the hell did you do to Fenton?”

There was Dash, right on queue with his cocky laugh and a, “That nerd had it coming to him!”

“Are you kidding me?” Paulina yelled. “A week before our English final presentation and you punch Fenton across the face? Are you stupid?”

Dash’s smile dropped instantly, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Paulina, I didn’t—”

“You know how much this class matters to me, Dash! You know I wanna move up to honors next year! I can’t do that if you’re giving my English partner a goddamn concussion while we’re preparing to present!”

“Paulina!” Dash grabbed her arm.

“No!” Paulina ripped her arm away. “Don’t touch me, and don’t fucking sabotage—”

“I didn’t beat Fenton up!” Dash shouted. 

Paulina’s eyes narrowed. 

Dash held his hands up in a surrender. “I swear I didn’t beat him up. Ask Kwan if you don’t believe me. Honestly, I haven’t touched him in months. The—the coach told me that if I did well in school this year, I’d probably get recruited to college. I didn’t want to risk Fenton messing that up. I swear!”

Paulina stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to crack. But Dash’s panicked face held.

“Whatever.” She whipped around. “Tell your stupid friends to keep their hands off my project partner.”

“Consider it done!”

Paulina stormed off, ignoring the wide stares from her peers and the whispers of, “Did she just defend Fenton?”

She tried to block them out. They weren’t important. Her grades were important, her future was important, but those idiots? No, they meant nothing to her.

That afternoon, Danny was early. He was sitting there in the empty classroom when Paulina walked in, his head down to his paper, and didn’t even look up when Paulina gave her cheerful, “Hello!”

Well...that was weird. Sure, a few weeks ago, Danny mostly ignored her cheerful greetings in favor of getting ahead on the project, but Paulina liked to think that a mutual respect, or—god forbid—a friendship had been forming between the duo.

“Oof, cold shoulder? So not your speed, Danny,” Paulina said, plopping down to her seat.

Danny tensed, “I...uh, sorry. I’m tired.”

“Sheesh, alright.” Paulina slid her notebook out. “So we were working on the symbolism slide of the powerpoint, right?”

“Yeah,” Danny passed his notebook over to her. “I started parsing through the book at lunch today and found some good passages. Take a look.”

Paulina went to study the paper, but something else caught her eye.

Something on his arm.

Something that looked like a burn.

“Danny?” Paulina stared wide-eyed at the space of molten skin between his sleeve and hand. “What the hell happened to your arm?”

“Oh, I—” Danny slipped his arm under the desk. “I, uh, sorry. You see—”

“Whoa!” Paulina only caught a glance of his face before he ducked down again, but that split-second was enough. “What the hell? What happened to you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Paulina saw red. “Oh, that idiot! I’m gonna kill him!”

Danny looked up, the multicolored patchwork of skin on his face finally fully visible to Paulina. “Kill who?”

“Oh, look at you! That asshole!”

Fenton winced. “Am I...am I missing something here?”

“I’m gonna kill Dash!”

“...Dash?” 

“I told him this morning to keep his hands off you! I made that asshole promise to me, and I told him to pass the message along to his stupid friends too!”

Something in Danny’s expression softened. “You told off Dash?”

“Well of course I did!” Paulina said hotily. “You’re my project partner! What kind of person would I be if I let you get hurt?”

“Oh well…” A smile quirked on Danny’s lips. “Thanks for that, but it wasn’t Dash.”

“Well then who was it? I’ll kill them.”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”

“You’re right, death would be too generous. I’ll just destroy their reputation instead!”

A bemused look overtook Danny’s face. “Yeah, I have no doubt you would.”

“Tell me right now, Fenton. Tell me who did this and I’ll make them pay. You won’t have to worry about them ever again once I’m finished with them.”

“Oh, I…” The smile fell from Danny’s lips. “It wasn’t anyone. I just...fell.”

“You what?” Paulina’s voice rose in disbelief.

“Yeah, you know how clumsy I am.” Danny rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. He laughed awkwardly, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I just—you know. I was walking in the hall, fell down some stairs, hit the stair rail at the bottom. Just typical weirdo Fenton stuff! Nothing you need to destroy anyone over.”

“Don’t play with me. You didn’t fall.”

“I did fall though! It was...yeah, you know how it is. I was walking and talking at the same time and just slipped and fell! Ah, stupid Fenton, am I right? Just always...falling.”

Paulina’s glare was hollow. “How dumb do you think I am, Danny?”

Danny froze, his rambling stuttering off into a tense silence. “What?”

“I said—” Paulina rose from her chair. “—just how dumb do you think I am?”

“Uh, sorry. I’m sorry. Look, I think we may have gotten on the wrong topic here.”

“No!” Paulina slammed her hand down on Fenton’s notebook. “This little tirade? This sham you’ve been pulling for the past two years? It’s bullshit, Danny, and you know it.”

“I don’t—I don’t know—”

“Yes, you do know! You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Paulina hissed. “We’ve been working together for weeks now, and you think you can just sit here and say you fell? To me?” 

“Well, sue me, Paulina!” Danny snapped. “Why do you even care, anyways? We’re not exactly friends.”

“Because you’re my project partner! Your grade is my grade, idiot!”

“Gee, I’m glad you only care about people when it affects your grade.” Danny shoved his notebook into his bag. “What an amazing quality to have.”

Paulina stepped back as if she’d been slapped. “That’s not true!”

Danny ignored her reaction, instead choosing to angrily zip up his backpack. “In case you haven’t noticed, your boyfriend’s been beating me up since we were five. I’m not sure why you’ve decided to care now, but if you want something to be mad at, maybe try being mad at the years of shit I’ve taken from you and your friends.” 

Paulina stood there seething as Danny pushed past her and stocked off into the hallway, slamming the classroom door shut behind him.

There was the Fenton she’d come to know in high school, this was the Fenton she remembered. The one who avoided questions, who put himself down to avoid suspicion, who left in the middle of class without saying anything, who no one could rely on.

But, perhaps more now than ever, Paulina could see just how much of a sham this whole act was.

Just how much he was using this face to protect himself.

But from what? From who?

Paulina tried not to dwell too much on the bruises, especially since they were gone the next day and didn’t reappear for the rest of the week. Of course, Dash swore up and down that he had nothing to do with Fenton’s appearance, and Paulina believed him. Dash could be a bit bullheaded, but he was still one of her closest friends.

For the remaining week they had to put their presentation together, Danny kept to himself, and so did Paulina. Whatever semblance of a friendship they’d built had disintegrated, and both parties seemed content to let it fall.

It made sense, logically speaking. Paulina was popular, Fenton wasn’t. Paulina was an extrovert, Fenton was an introvert. Paulina thrived in attention, Fenton shied away from it. They were like oil and water, a friendship just wasn’t possible.

The presentation day came, and the two spoke with confidence that could only have come from weeks of preparation. Paulina couldn’t help but glow under Mr. Lancer’s impressed nod. Their high marks from the project were enough to fulfill Paulina’s recommendation to the honors English course for the next fall.

And then the school year came to a close and finally, after months of hard work, they could finally relax.

But not before they celebrated first.

One of Dash’s good friends, Dale, had taken it upon himself to host the massive end of the school year party for the rising junior class at Casper High that year. His parents, being the weird sort of chill parents they were, offered up their lake house with the promise that there would be no drinking and driving.

The teens were ecstatic. 

Everyone—everyone—went to the party. Jocks, nerds, band geeks, theatre kids, every clique was represented at the lake house. And why wouldn’t they come? It was the end of the school year celebration! A time to rejoice in having survived another round of homework, tests, quizzes, and essays.

It was also a time where Paulina was once again reminded that yes, the theatre kids could in fact go shot-to-shot with the football team.

Fenton was there with his little group, but Paulina paid them no mind. This wasn’t the time to be worried about him, nor was it the time to feel any sort of guilt at the way their budding friendship just collapsed. She had her friends, why add another?

And it was just preposterous to imply that she missed Fenton.

Because she didn’t.

And yet, when the night was drawing to a close, Paulina somehow managed to find herself down by the lake where a skinny, black haired teen was sitting alone.

She stood behind him, unsure if she wanted to initiate contact. He’d made it clear from their last argument that he still held years of resentment towards her and her friends, and Paulina knew from experience that all that resentment couldn’t go away in one alcohol-filled night.

She turned to walk away, but something stopped her. Before she could question what she was doing or why, she found herself sitting down on the damp grass next to him.

“What are you doing out here?” Paulina asked.

“Oh, uh, hey Paulina! Fancy seeing you here.” Danny gave her a small wave.

“You too.” Paulina stretched her legs out in front of her, leaning back on her hands. “Some party, right?”

“Yeah, Dale was really nice to host this.”

“He’s a great guy. His parents too.”

“I bet.” Danny said. “How are your friends holding up?”

“Well, let’s see. Star just spent a half hour trying to convince me that aliens exist, and Dale’s currently comforting Kwan who saw a video of a puppy rescue on the side of the road and started crying, so I’d say they’re holding up pretty well.”

Danny guffawed. “No way!”

“I swear!” Paulina laughed. “This isn’t even the first time something like this has happened either. I swear, every other time we drink, Kwan always ends up in a corner somewhere watching animal videos on his phone and crying at how precious the animals are and ‘please, Paulina, can’t we just adopt one?’ He’s gonna be the death of me one of these days.”

Danny giggled, his laugh light and airy. Paulina watched him, amazed that they were able to just start talking again as if their fight had never happened.

“So what about you?” she asked. “What happened to your clan?”

“Sam had to drive Tucker home. He got too overconfident in pong.”

She snorted. “Dash is the same. He’s always like, ‘one more round, I’m gonna crush it this time’ and then twenty minutes later I find him asleep in a bathtub or something.”

“Dash drunk sleeping in a bathtub? Oh, that’s a sight I’d like to see.”

“I can assure you that photos exist.”

“The perfect blackmail.” Fenton shot her a grin. “Remind me to get one of Tucker next time he does something stupid.”

“And what makes you think you won’t be right there on the floor with him?” Paulina sassed.

“Hah! You’re probably right!” His smile fell, and he looked at her questioningly. “Hey, will your boyfriend be okay with you out here with me?”

“Oh, Dash? He’s...actually not my boyfriend.”

“Wait, what?” Danny jolted upright. He spun around to face her. “But I thought—”

“Yeah, everyone does. But we’re not dating.”

“Then why don’t you say something? Squash all the rumors?”

Paulina averted her gaze back onto the lake. It was a gorgeous night. Stars speckled the sky in a spectacular display, illuminating the Milky Way behind them. Amity Park was too industrious to see the galaxy, and Paulina couldn’t help but marvel at its sight. 

It was gorgeous. Vast. It seemed to never end. She remembered reading somewhere that the Milky Way could only be seen if there was no moon out.

Luck must have been on her side that night.

“Unless...you don’t want to.” Danny’s voice dawned a tone of realization. “But why?”

“I got tired of it all,” she admitted, her honesty surprising herself. “Guys only wanted to talk to me because they thought if they were nice enough, I would get in their pants or something. I got accused of friendzoning more people than not. Honestly, it was so annoying. I felt everyone saw me as some stupid object. So when the rumors started going around this year that Dash and I were dating, and a lot of guys in our grade started backing off, I just...didn’t fight it. I thought maybe finally everyone would see me as a person. Maybe people would take me seriously.” Her gaze dropped. “I don’t know if it worked, but at least now people don’t see me as some sort of prize so much anymore.”

Danny was silent for a moment, and Paulina immediately regretted her admission. Maybe it was the alcohol loosening her lips, but she doubted Fenton of all people cared. They weren’t even friends.

One side of her wanted to get up and leave, go back to her friends inside the house, but the other side of her was too embarrassed to move.

“That makes sense, honestly,” Danny finally responded.

A wave of relief washed over her.

“And I’m sorry that there was a time where I couldn’t see past your looks too. I was young, but that’s still not an excuse.” He shifted. “I’ve had some...things happen the past year, and they’ve really taught me a lot about judging a book by its cover.”

“What kinds of things?” Paulina said, hoping her voice didn’t betray too much curiosity.

There went that hand behind his neck again. He was nervous, Paulina noted.

“Oh! Uh...it’s a long story, but I just wanted to say that I understand. I get what it feels like to be judged based on surface-level stuff. I mean, Paulina, you’re really smart. I don’t know if I told you this, but I’m really glad we ended up partners on that English project. I would have been so screwed with anyone else.”

“Thanks, Danny,” she said, trying to fight the blush that she knew was tinting her cheeks. “I’m sorry for being nosy at the end there. I didn’t mean to corner you like that. It was really stupid of me to pry when you obviously didn’t feel like talking.”

“No!” he exclaimed “No, don’t apologize! I was just being sensitive. Honestly, I knew I looked like shit.” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Look, I didn’t fall obviously. I wasn’t trying to play you, I just panicked. But...I’m okay now, really.”

He looked at her, and Paulina noted how his blue eyes seemed to dance under the light of the stars. How he sat up straighter, his shoulders rolled back and head held high. How yes he was thin, but not scrawny like he was back in freshman year of high school. He seemed toned, lithe, almost like a gymnast. 

Danny had definitely grown up in the past two years, but then again, so had she.

“I’m glad you’re okay, and I’m also glad I got to be your English partner too,” she said.

They sat by the lake watching the stars until the chill of the crisp spring air began to set in Paulina’s bones. She left Danny in favor of the warm house, but not without saying, “I’ll text you sometime.”

The summer came, and the ever so slightly intoxicated promise to hang out slipped Paulina’s mind. After all, she had months of sleep to catch up on. 

Fortunately for her, Danny remembered. 

It was a silly text, a meme about Shakespear. Paulina responded with the appropriate emojis, and tried to convince herself that the smile she wore was due to the funny image, and had nothing to do with the boy who sent it.

And a week later, he sent another one. This time, Paulina asked to grab a coffee with him. Catch up.

To her surprise, Danny agreed. They met up at the Starbucks and what Paulina thought would only be a quick catch-up session turned into a three hour long hangout. 

Despite his awkward demeanor, Danny was rather talkative. Especially when the topic revolved around space. Apparently, he wanted to work for NASA someday. He said it came from a childhood dream of becoming an astronaut, but overtime his interests shifted into rocket design and engineering. It helped that—according to Danny—his dad had built the equivalent of an ecto-rocket in his basement.

Paulina confessed that she wanted to work for 60 Minutes someday as a journalist. She dreamed of traveling around the world, collecting stories and meeting people. She explained that as a kid, she used to have to travel around the world for her dad’s work before he finally settled in Amity Park. And although she’d been living in Amity for years now, a part of her still missed those days where she was constantly exposed to new countries, languages, and cultures.

Danny listened attentively, reacting at the appropriate times and pressing for questions whenever she would trail off. Even though he had a reputation of never paying attention to teachers, he seemed to genuinely enjoy listening to her.

Eventually they parted ways, but they promised to hang out again. 

And again they did.

And again.

Again.

There were some topics that Danny seemed to skirt around, such as why he sometimes would show up bruised, or why he seemed to struggle to stay in class despite his dreams of working for a prestigious agency like NASA.

But Paulina was willing to ignore those demons because she liked Danny, and she didn’t want to say anything that would push him away. And, despite their differences, he seemed to like her back.

Summer drifted to fall, the leaves started to turn, and soon it was too cold to hangout outside. 

Which was how they found themselves here, in Danny’s room, laying on Danny’s floor watching Youtube videos, their math homework long since abandoned beside them.

It was a nerdy video, one about bizarre planets that existed in space. One that Paulina would never have watched on her own, but Danny seemed positively riveted at. 

His eyes were bright and attentive, and every so often he’d point to the screen and go, “Look!” as if Paulina wasn’t watching the same video.

It was...adorable.

His excitement rivaled a child on Christmas. And as interesting as the video was to watch, Danny was even more so.

The video ended, but Paulina hardly noticed. All she could see was the grin on Danny’s lips, the freckles dotting his cheeks, the way his hair sat on his head like a soft cloud.

“So? What did you think?” Danny asked.

“Cute,” Paulina responded. “You’re cute.”

Danny blinked, his mouth turning to a little “o” shape as red tinged his cheeks. He started to stutter, to try to brush Paulina off, but she held onto his shoulder and said, “Danny, I think you’re cute.”

“Oh,” he said, his eyes wide. “I think you’re cute too.”

Paulina closed the gap between them, closing her eyes. His lips felt soft against hers, and her heart fluttered in her chest. Her hands trailed up to his hair, and she curled her fingers through his soft hair.

He was gentle, as if he were afraid to hurt her, and his skin felt cool against her own. Secretly, Paulina had always loved that about Danny, the fact that his body temperature seemed to run lower than normal. And now she could cherish this all to herself.

Danny’s hand wrapped around her back, gently pressing her closer. His touch was electric, and Paulina could have melted right there. She pressed further against him, deepening the kiss.

They stayed in each other’s arms, enjoying the moment for just a few moments longer before Danny pulled back. He looked at her, his eyes sparkling, and said, “You’re beautiful.”

There were some things Paulina didn’t understand about Danny. There were some things he was still closed off about, things he didn’t want to speak about. And eventually, Paulina would bring those things up, she would get answers. Eventually, she would uncover all the secrets, all the layers to the enigma that made up Danny Fenton.

But right now?

Right now she was just going to enjoy the moment.

[pixiedoodlein]

10 days until school and I’m no more decided than I was a week ago. I flip flop ten times day about what might be best. A is sick of hearing me talk about it. He doesn’t disagree with my risk assessment but he is sick of talking about it.

It caused an issue with his friend, a friend who is his best friend and is unvaccinated and works in a jail. Months ago we told friend he could only visit (this place is their boyhood dream) once he’s vaccinated. Friend typically believes in science and is very health conscious but his gf is a moron Trump lover and her family the same and that’s who he’s been spending all his time with since this all started. When I asked friend why he’s not vaccinated he said he’s young & healthy, didn’t trust the vaccines, would do it when they got full fda approval. Plenty of young healthy people are dead of this. Anyway then I asked ok so what if you give it to someone who isn’t and dies, people incarcerated in the jail he works in and don’t have the luxury of social distancing, and he was like eh whatever. So yes friend is an asshole, but his best friend for decades, friend has always been kind of an asshole but has many redeeming qualities too. So we said no visit. But then in July when there was no covid here and no covid where he lives and we were blissfully living our covid free lives we loosened up and said he could visit with two negative tests. But then covid got bad again and when asshole friend contacted A the other day to say he took time off in late Sept to visit, A said sorry, it’s fully fda approved now you have no excuses not to vaccinate, we’re worried about our unvaccinated kids, and as of now you can’t visit but hey maybe if you get vaccinated and the numbers look better we can reassess in a month and you can come. Friend was a total dick about it, didn’t understand our point of view at all, stressed A about it, who was in a bad mood about it for days afterward.

Then there’s the neighbors. I had a chat with the kids and a chat with the mom. I framed it as we love them so much and I know they’re careful but I think we should all be more careful while the numbers are so rising (aka only outdoor hangouts) and we are careful but I’ve heard terrifying stories from doctor friends about kids and babies getting very sick, and they have a baby who I don’t want us to make sick, and she said she agreed. The kids have been pretty good about making the adjustment from constant sleepovers to playing outside but M keeps asking me “the kids need to pee are they allowed to use the bathroom, the kids are hungry are they allowed to come inside even for one minute for a snack,” and I feel like the villain (I’ve been saying yes to pee, snacks I’ll bring out). Everyone’s been understanding but nobody is getting what I mean when I say only outdoor socializing. All the kids keep asking me when I’ll take them to town again for ice cream, “but it’s outside” (um yeah but the car’s not), asking their mom to ask me for sleepovers even though they know what the answer will be. The other day they were playing in our yard then it started raining and they were like “we can’t walk home in the rain”- I don’t want them to walk home in the rain, but again the car is indoors!- so I drove them home (but made M stay at our house). They’re not my kids so I can’t make them wear masks and it feels like now I am in the position of being the mean parent who’s psycho about covid, which in a way I am, but it would help me to stick to my guns and feel okay about sticking to them if the government policies matched the severity of the situation, ie mask mandates in public places (instead of stores posting polite recommendations), vaccine mandates, virtual learning options, etc.

Which brings me to school. After selling M hard on real school, then I sold her hard on home school. She already “did” 3rd grade last year (as much as me teaching her in my pajamas counts as doing), but this district has an earlier cut off than the city, so she’s in 3rd grade again here. Which is fine by me- her birthday is the same day as the very late nyc cut off (12/31) and I hated that she was the absolute youngest. I used to beg the school to hold her back and they’d say “but why she’s doing so well!” not understanding that I was thinking ahead to the teen years. But anyway, despite her haphazard pj’d professor, she seemed to learn a lot last year so homeschool this year could basically be unschool. She’d traipse around the forest identifying birds and trees with A and her brother, reading for pleasure, and I’d spend an hour here and there reviewing some worksheets with her so she’d be on track when she starts real school after she gets vaccinated. She was into the idea, until she found out she and one of the neighbor kids are in the same class. Now she absolutely wants to go to real school, AND ride the school bus. The school bus part makes me very nervous. While there is now a school mask mandate (but will it be enforced? what are their lunch procedures, what % of teachers are vaccinated, what % of the older kids in the same building as the little kids are vaccinated, did they actually really update their ventilation system?) and a bus mask rule, it’s a long rural route (15 min drive or 45 min bus) and I have no faith that bus windows will be open and all riders will be masked the whole time.

So just tell her she can go to school but has to be driven by a parent, right? Not so simple. I was offered a job at a (somewhat, commuting distance) nearby nonprofit- an easy low stress job in a bastion of liberalism with very very nice smart coworkers, excellent work life balance, a writing job that sounds made for me, like the job description is exactly what I would put together if I were putting together my dream job (except the pay, which is half what I was making at a fancy DC nonprofit, but high for this area, and our housing cost is half so it should be fine if A can get away from little guy long enough to bring in some money too). It’s mostly remote but approx one day a week in the office and some days there will be things I need to attend out in the community (not necessarily our community, they serve the whole region). It won’t always be the same day in the office and the office is an hour away- so on those days A would have no car to get her to and from school, since I’d need to leave before school starts and get home after it’s done. So I guess we need to buy a new car? Aside from this issue we really don’t need a second car now, were planning to get one eventually, but not until A’s business has enough projects to justify the cost.

Despite its many demands/challenges/ stressors, home school is sounding easier to me at this point (especially because she already did this grade), except she WANTS to go to school. Someone talk me out of putting some lipstick and a pantsuit on her and taking her to get vaccinated. I know, I know: the 5-11 dosage is 1/3 of the 12-adult dosage. The doctors I’ve spoken to are split on this hypothetical kamikaze mission. The doctors I’ve spoken to are also split on me and A going to a pharmacy now for booster. It’s been almost 6 months since our 2nd dose. We do not have compromised immune systems. This county has way more doses than demand and I would feel better sending M to school (bus or not) if we had our boosters and she had a first dose- moral and scientific quandaries aside- because there is A LOT of covid here now, a lot of covid everywhere now, and I feel like we are returning to regular life at the time when we should be most hunkered down.

Which brings me to the data. Per capita there are as many known cases here as in nyc, except nyc has a 50% higher vax rate, much more mask usage, better medical system. People are not getting enough tests here, there is a higher positivity rate, and so I think the actual number of cases is much higher than the reported number of cases. It seems like, friends here and in the city and in the suburbs (I just broke up with a friend in the suburbs because she professes to be a good democrat but is hosting a bonafide super spreader event and vacationing in a place with 39% positivity and a collapsed health care system), are thinking of covid as something you catch from strangers- they wear masks in stores- but aren’t careful at all around close friends and family (so many extended family gatherings, so many, cousins and grandparents and half-siblings and aunts and uncles and whoever), when this is a disease that kills via the people you love most, the ones who’d never intentionally hurt you.

[lilyharvord]

Omg describe the parent trap au pls I'm begging you

AH! Okay! I've got five requests... means I have to do it XDDD

(bear in mind I had this idea before broken throne came out and we knew Cori and Shade were a thing)

1. Mare and Cal are still young, they're dealing with the ramifications of everything. Mare gets pregnant, they have twins. Their relationship sort of falls apart... and they go their separate ways, each one taking a twin daughter. Mare to Montfort, Cal to the States

2. Some years later (11) the twin daughters both end up at the same sort of camp thing (not sure exactly what's going on there, but they do). They totally hijack each other and end up being forced into an isolation where they only have each other. Then they realized: HOLY SHIT YOUR MOM IS MY MON AND YOUR DAD IS MY DAD. Then they hatch their "master plan" to get Mare and Cal back together. One daughter Coriane (Cal's) and the other Avery (Mare's) switch places, going back to the opposite parent in hopes that they will have to come back together to switch them back.

3. Shenanigans obviously ensue. And Cori realizes horribly quickly that Mare is dating someone... and Avery kinda didn't know about it. The guy (who is not Tyton because I Would NEVER slander that boi like that) is an asshole period. So Cori has to be a snappy little shit and tries to break them up. I just have this one conversation in my head where the guy confronts her and is like: For your information, I adore your mother, she's exactly the kind of woman I always dreamed of marrying. And Cori just leans forward and goes: and my mother's political and military standing wouldn't have anything to do with that... would it? And he goes from being nice politician guy to straight dick in .2 seconds and leans forward to day: listen here puss, I'm marrying your mother in three weeks, whether you like it or not. Is that clear? And once I do, I'm shipping your ass off to the Lakelands. And that's when Cori sends emergency message number 1 to Avery in the States who has been busy ignoring her panic because she's having the time of her life with her dad.

4. Anyway, Julian is the one that figures it out, cause he follows Avery after she runs out to place an emergency call to Montfort to tell Cori to hang in there. He makes Avery tell Cal and we get the cute scene where she's in his office and she has a little suitcase with her, and he laughs and asks where she is going when she buries her face in his shirt. And all muffled says: I'm going to find Cori. And he laughs again and says: I see Cori, so where is she exactly? And she just kinda sniffles looks up at him and says: In Ascendant, with her mom Mare Barrow. And Cal just kinda of looks up at Julian who gives him that little smile. And then he cups Avery's face, lifts it up to look at her, and says: You're not Cori.... you're Avery? and then he puts it together. They decide to go to Ascendant to switch them back. Cal is low key a wreck all the way there, and Julian goes with them with Sara because he's low key gotta chaperone his stressed out nephew still. (Little does Cal know that Julian, Sara, Cori, and Avery all planned it so that they go to the place Mare/Fiance are looking at for their wedding, without Cal knowing what's happening, and without Mare knowing anything at all.)

5. They all end up there, They get separated from each other for a split second and when they happens, Cal ends up spotting Mare getting into an elevator with her asshole fiancé, and she literally almost falls over leaning to the side making sure she is actually seeing her ex-husband and not a ghost of him induced by her low key guilt over remarrying (especially since who she thinks is Avery has been so very opposed to it). Then Cal goes up (mind you, he may be slightly drunk cause... it's funny in the movie, so it works here) runs into both the girls, and finds out Mare is getting re-married, and they try to convince him to stop it, but he won't hear any of it, and tells them he is only there to switch them back.

6. Cal goes down ahead of the girls, and is in the bar trying to get something to deal with the raging headache he has, and who does he run into but Asshole Fiance who is so freaking excited to realize it's him because wow, political ambitions to the max there.

6. Anyway, they go down to a garden and the girls are sitting there with Julian and Sara, and Mare is literally on the HUNT for Cal. She's so confused why he's here, etc. etc. Then she spots him walking down the stairs of the garden (it can be in slow motion while he's adjusting his jacket if you like 😏) and she literally runs into someone, and ends up in a fountain. Cal pulls her out, and she's just looking up at him shocked and confused, and then the girls show up and explain what they did and Mare's just baffled until she laughs and hugs them both. They sit down, Cal gives her his jacket and they talk for a second and Mare just says: I can't believe this... seeing them together, seeing you again... I just-- And then asshole fiance shows up and is like: FINALLY! There you are! Oh um...oh good, you've met! Honey, I was just speaking with him in the bar and um, we were talking about some trade deals, and um wait, I dont understand how did you two meet? and Mare... why are you all wet? and Mare just looks at Cal and goes: you're doing a political trade deal with my fiancé? and Cal's like: i didn't know he was your fiancé? And then Mare's like hahahaha how did we meet? How did you two meet? And Fiance just goes: Am I missing something here? And Mare going: hahaha this is one small world. Cue Avery popping up near his elbow and saying: Hey. And then him sniffing and going: hello. And then Cori popping up and going: Hi, how's it going? And him having a small freak out before Mare sort of grimaces and says: Um... did I ever mention to you that Avery was a twin? And he's just totally put out and grumbles: you neglected to mention that little detail. And the girls are more than happy to introduce Cal as their dad, and fiancé just goes: well, this is a small world. And Mare just awkward grimaces and says: and getting smaller.

7. Anyway, the girls make them go on a cute little date, and they sort of talk about why they broke up and why she left, and we get my favorite dialogue exchange from any movie every made and Mare says: well, I got on an airship to Montfort, and... you didn't chase after me. And Cal just sort of leans forward and says quietly: I didn't know you wanted me to. Then we cut to the next day, they're agreeing to send the girls back and forth between them for certain things, and then low and behold their trouble making daughters show up wearing identical outfits, and the girls give them their proposal. They will tell them who is who after they go on the camping trip. (Aka the one Mare takes Avery on every year in Paradise Valley). Cal crouches down and says: This one is Cori, I'm sure of it. And the one he's point to who is actually Avery just smirks and says: Are you sure dad? You wouldn't want to take the wrong kid all the way back to Archeon would you? And then they're forced to agree to said camping trip.

8. Cue my absolute favorite part of the 1998 movie, where we cut to the fiancé going: AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR FIVE DAYS? STAY HOME AND KNITT? And Mare just turns around and says: listen, we're in a bit of a situation here. And then Cal's coming down the stairs from the Barrow's town house with his backpack like: 🙃 I have such bad timing. And Fiancé turns around and says: hold on, why is he going? And mare's irritated as all get out so she just snorts and says: because it's part of the deal... we go on this trip... together. And then Cal walks up and being the little shit he is says: is there a problem? And the guys just looks him up and down and goes: Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm not so sure I'm okay with this. And Cal immediately knows how to make this man's life fucking miserable, so he says: Oh I completely understand. The ex in the next sleeping bag is just... so awkward. And Mare just puts her head in her hand and Cal gives this guy his best sympathetic grin and says: which is why I suggest you go with them. And the girls in the truck are like: DAD! NO! And Cal's just like: No I insist. And then the guy is walking down the stair, looking for all intents and purposely like a jackass, and Cal's behind him, already trying to contain his laughter. And the guy gets in the truck, looking annoyed as all get out, and the girls are pissed, and Mare's just looking at Cal like: I can't decide if I wanna kill you or laugh with you. And then Cal just pats the side of the truck and says: alright have fun. And the guy kinda leans across Mare and says: I mean on second thought, maybe this isn't the best idea... I mean... I"m not much a... nature person. And Cal's like mock horrified and says: No, no you really should. This is a great opportunity for you to spend time with the girls and get to know them. And then he gives that jack as his prize winning, shit eating grin and says: Cause starting next week, they're half yours. And Mare just sticks her tongue between her teeth with her smile and puts her shades on and drives away. Cue Kilorn coming up next to Cal and smirking with him and saying; Oh I would pay BIG money to see that man climb a mountain.

9. The camping trip goes miserable, they come back early cause the girls create chaos and the fiancé leaves. Delivering the key line: Once we're married, I'm shipping those BRATS off to Tiraxes. Got it? IT's me or them, take your pick.

They come up the stairs to the town house and Cal's there (wearing super comfy clothes) and is mock shocked when he says: what happened? And the Avery just goes: we've been grounded. and Corie comes up behind her saying until the end of the century. And Cal's just like: why? What happened? and Cori says: we played a couple harmless pranks, and [insert fiancé's name] got a little upset. And Mare storms up behind them and says: Upset? A little Upset? Then she glares at the girls and then at Cal and says: But like father like daughters. You're grounding starts now. And the girls go inside, and Mare just kinda stays out there, fiddling with the engagement ring she took off and says: One day I'm going to have to thank them for this. And then Mare and Cal kinda of have a cute little conversation and then that night, they have their little romantic moment where they almost kiss, but then Mare pulls back. The next day, they leave. (At this point they weren't in Ascendant, they were in a smaller Montfort city near Paradise Valley). So Mare goes home. And once she and Avery get there, they walk into their apartment, and Cori's sitting on the couch, and Mare's just like: oh... um hello. And Cori just smiles and says: it took us about two minutes after you left to realize we were never letting you go again. And Mare's like: us? And then Cal comes out, and is like: us. And Then we get my Second favorite dialogue exchange of all time where Mare goes: so what now? Am I supposed to... to say that we're going to work all this out, that we'll... fall in love again and raise out children together and cry hysterically? And Cal just pulls her close with a smile and says: Yes, to all of that. Only you dont have to cry hysterically.

Then we get happy ending cause YAY the girls won and their parents are back together. Anyway, as you can see I've thought about this AU for far too long and I actually came super close to writing it but then decided, eh better not.

[egelantier]

Tian Guan Ci Fu

where is it and what is it

it’s a chinese webnovel by mxtx, the same author who did untamed; it exists as a webnovel, finished and kindly translated here, the manhwa, the donghua (animated adaptation) happening right now, and there’s a live action adaptation in plans, directed by the same guy who did untamed. the donghua is gorgeous, the adaptation i’m unsure about but prepared to be hopeful, the manhwa seems to be very pretty. but all the adaptations only cover the very beginning of the novel for now, so i went ahead and read the novel, and i have no regrets. it helps that the translation is very good - not without awkward translatorese, but it has consistent and engaging flow and style, and it’s also pretty good at conveying mxtx’s humor without awkwardness. it reads pretty well.

what’s it about?

the world is split into two parts: mortals and various ghosts and demons and entities share the land, while ‘heaven officials’, aka gods, live in the heavenly kingdom in the sky. pretty much anybody can become a god if they do something really heroic or memorable and/or cultivate (meditation, training, virtuous behavior) really hard. when above, the gods rule their domains and fulfill their believers’ wishes; they work sort of like pratchettian gods, dependent on their followers’ beliefs and getting influenced by them. heavens are strictly hierarchical, with their own economy and pecking order, and the gods aren’t particularly sinless or benevolent; mostly it’s a question of scale.

our hero, xie lian, is a prince of a prosperous kingdom who’s been on a fast track to ascension for most of his very short life; he’s talented, he’s virtuous, he’s kind, he’s strong, and his only peculiar flaw is (somehow naive, but well-meaning) obsession with equality and value of human lives and so on. he becomes a god, unexpectedly, at seventeen, after slaying one especially dangerous god, and rises in heaven at the peak of his faith, influence and happiness.

…and then he finds out about drought and incipient trouble in his own kingdom, and, being a young and righteous god too close to his mortality, eschews heavens and returns to save everybody. it, to put it lightly, does not go well. at all. in fact, it goes catastrophically wrong, and, having lost everything, xie lian ascends again, only to get into a fight with the heavenly emperor, and get banished again, this time for good. he roams the mortal lands for next eight hundred of very lonely, luckless and hard years, technically immortal but not invincible, with his powers and his luck stripped away, and leans to make do, eking out a living as a scrap collector. his temples are desecrated, his name is forgotten, his kingdom is long gone, and - well. so it goes.

so it goes! until one day, to everybody’s great surprise, he ascends once again: a humble, gentle, immune to embarrassment, unflappable man, an embarrassment to heavens, a 'laughingstock of three realms’ who just wants to be left well enough alone. he’s Tired.

instead of rest, he gets sent to investigate a dangerous ghost stealing brides who pass through its mountain, and there, during the course of the interrogation, has his first (he thinks) meeting with a terrifying, old-powerful and vengeful ghost king named hua cheng, who likes to terrorize heavens from time to time. but said ghost king seems to be very benevolent and very interested in helping xie lian, and xie lian is pretty instantly smitten… with knowing what’s the cause of such interest.

…and meanwhile, in the beginning, there'was an unlucky boy, born under the worst stars, whom xie lian saved from falling once, while still mortal, and promptly lost track of. a lot of things happened to this boy, who wanted to be the most devoted worshipper to xie lian the god of the sword and the flower. as one does, you know.

that’s the beginning! from there on: investigations, heavenly secrets, old friends and enemies and acquaintances, thematic parallels, old tragedies, more pining than you can shake a stick at, grand acts of love.

is it good?

it’s very, very good. it’s the first fantasy cnovel i read (aside from the hilarious one about a guy traveling back in his own timeline and becoming a sugar baby to a mafia boss, which was in a very different league), so i don’t know which things are baseline and which things are unique, but it had a very solid foundation: ambitious multilevel, multi-timeline plot coming together in the end both events- and emotions-wise, beautifully iddy main relationship, maybe multifaceted characters who change and grow and clash together in fun ways, a clear and heartfelt understanding of its own core themes.

it’s also, unexpectedly, very funny, in this visual, slapsticky, begs-to-be-adapted way - i found myself laughing out loud over it a lot of times, and it possesses this gift of swerve between understated but earnest emotions and all-out jokes that i associate with… a bit of prattchett and a bit of gintama, honestly. take it as you will.

(oh my god the mecha. i will laugh over this one until i die.)

it also made me cry several times; granted, it’s not like it’s this time, but those were very heartfelt tears.

and the main duo?

first let me say that xie lian was lifted out, wholesale, out of my deepest character preferences. he fell really, really far, and did some bad things, and some very horrible things were done to him, and by the time we meet him he went through everything and achieved this effortless kind of traumatized, humble, accepting, wryly self-deprecating, utterly competent chill that makes a character incredibly appealing to me. he’s kind, and he’s sweet, and he’s gotten any possible embarrassment at least a couple of centuries ago, and he kinda made peace with himself and kinda didn’t. i love him.

and, thankfully for me, hua cheng, the ghost king, loves him a whole damn lot, a ridiculous amount, an epic, over-the-lifetimes, life-shattering amount, and he’s a terrifying presence to everybody else and a shy, protective, sweet dork to xie lian, and every time they’re together on page my entire heart is just. it’s AMAZING. he’s a great combination of playing the obsessive protective yandere stalker-lover trope straight and putting it on its head, by making hua cheng not just revere but respect xie lian, in all his good and bad decisions.

they are just so - good for each other, holy shit. they get each other so well. they’re the best ever power team. i love them.

(the rest of canon is various character reenacting “really? in front of my salad?” meme at them. it’s hysterical, and it’s the best. everybody teams up to tell xie lian that his boyfriend is Problematic way, way before xie lian clues into the fact that he does have a boyfriend, and he’s having none of it. i love it.)

and the themes?

okay, so. roughly half of this novel is ridiculous iddy pining, and a fourth of it is various tropes (off the top of my head: soulbond, sex pollen, body switch, de-age, various shades of identity porn… crossdressing…) played very shamelessly. but it also really benefits from having an overarching set of ethical questions, and while it deals with them a bit shounen-style, it still deals with them, and it makes the whole text fresh, and sweet, and bold.

is it possible to save everybody? should you try to save everybody? if you lack the powers to back your convictions, does it make you complicit? when is it possible to stop the cycle of suffering, what can you do if you want to but can’t? if you tried and people you failed turned on you, whose fault it is, where does the blame stop?

Detailed spoilers begin from here, and i would REALLY advise to stay unspoiled, because the domino reveals are very fun

i loved the various ways the novel sets all those pieces up and then overturns them and then returns to them. xie lian wanted to save everybody and it was arrogant naivete of an untried, untested, privileged young man who never had a real challenge before; his presence made things escalate quicker, and yet everybody around him pretended it was his attempt to make things better that ruined everything, and not a combination of factors outside of his control. and yet he accepts the blame, because it dovetails with his shame at not having enough powers to back his intent up; and yet his triumph over bai wuxian is that he doesn’t, after all, renege on his initial drive to help people.

my most favorite part of this novel is that its turning point, the lynchpin of the whole novel, the moment that keeps xie lian’s soul and safety intact, is not his personal purity and drive; it’s not even hua cheng’s devotion and sacrificial love. it’s just a moment of little, grudging, human kindness from a little, petty, rude man whom the history will sweep away soon. the bamboo hat in the rain. the rest of the plot keeps twisting and turning and coming back to itself, but this? this was unquestionably, beautifully clear, and i loved it. it’s never about the gods, it’s all down to - fallen human is human, ascended human is human, and human is not some state, virtuous or sinful, you get stuck with - it’s a multitude of choices, and there’s never a final one.

and incoherent spoilery screaming for people who read it already

oh my god i had SO MUCH FUN. i’ve been flailing on meme for days, because somebody just finished reading there too, and i’m still bursting with ALL THE FEELS. ruoye origins oh my god! that hat! jin wu’s backstory and ultimate end! e-ming’s praise kink! pei ming’s little shippery 'hoho’! hua cheng’s horribly handwritten stick and poke tattoo of xie lian’s name! the lanteeeeeeeeeeeeerns. feng xin and mu qing on the bridge, making up with each other and with xie lian! hua cheng trying to explain to xie lian that his habit of using himself as bait and pincushion at any given moment is deeply emotionally upsetting to him, and succeeding! banyue’s learning from xie lian to be a truly horrible cook! the entire deal with shi qingxuan and he xuan and the wind fan in the end. THE CAVE. THE GIANT MECHA. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and aaaaaaaaaaaaa and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and i am beset, beset by feelings. come scream with me.

[putas-in-suffering]

Terms of Endearment

Pairing: Obispo “Bishop” Losa x Female Reader/You

Rating: Explicit, NSFW 18+ older

Warnings: Language, unprotected vaginal sex, mentions of bodily fluids, desecrating quinceañera dresses (oops) 

Word Count: 2.6K

Summary: Part 1. Mutual attraction doesn’t always mean you’re on the same page.

A/N: You asked and we delivered. We got the OG daddy himself, Bishop aka El Presidente, showing up and showing out for you sucias. Enjoy and share with your fellow sucias! Feedback is the preferred drug for our addiction and greatly appreciated 💖💖

*Check out our Cartel Daddy in part 2 of this love/lust triangle here

Your eyes caught his across the factory floor. He was making his way towards you, a self-assured smirk decorating his bearded lips. He stopped to greet one of the workers, winking and smile at the passing women with all the charm of a teenage boy. His swagger was undeniable, his confidence radiating like a neon sign. He was a man that knew what he was doing, knew what he was capable of. If the fine lines decorating his face and the grey in his facial hair didn’t give him away, the glint behind those warm cocoa eyes did. He had experience. The kind of experience that captured your attention, in more ways than one.

“Obispo,” You greeted coolly, unwilling to let him bear witness to your more than business-like interest in him.

“Querida…” He responded, smirking and moving in for the obligatory kiss on the cheek.

You didn’t chastise him for the pet name. You may be one of Miguel Galindo’s most trusted employees, but you were still a woman in a male-dominated world. Running a cartel was surprisingly conservative work. The men treated you like a woman instead of as an equal, and while that used to piss you off, Miguel had taught you to utilize your feminine strength. So you did. You batted your eyelashes and laughed when you were supposed to. But the minute someone crossed the organization, you were front and center putting a bullet between their eyes. It was the nature of the game.

So you let the demeaning names go and you let the men think they were smarter than you. It always came back to bite them in the ass later.

But Bishop was different. He may be old-school, but you knew he respected you. You were the middle man for him and Miguel and he’d confided in you many times that he’d rather look at you than have to see another pressed suit. You had laughed at that despite the dig at your boss.

You accepted the kiss he offered and forced the heat of attraction down as his eyes quickly, but not so discreetly, appraised your figure. You smiled, pleased with his examination of you. Your heels clicked as you turned and beckoned him to follow you, your pencil skirt suddenly feeling too tight. His eyes were on you. You could feel them burning a hole in your back. You reveled in the attention, feeling your nipples begin to harden against the lace of your bra. Thank god you hadn’t worn a white blouse today.

“Shipment ready to go?” You asked over your shoulder, hearing his heavy steps follow close behind. The rest of the Mayan crew were situated at tables, lining the traditional dresses of womanhood with your product.

“Yeah, tonight. As planned.” He supplied, gesturing to the box truck being loaded.

You nodded, pleased with the sight. You didn’t necessarily have to be here to facilitate, but you’d decided at the last minute to swing by. Bishop had things under control as usual. And you got to ogle him under the guise of management, though you were sure you were fooling no one.

“Good. You have any issues give me a call.” You recited dutifully. He nodded, that smirk still staring back at you as if he found the whole thing amusing.

“Will do.”

“Did they get the new patterns we sent over?”

Bishop nodded, rubbing at his facial hair. “Yeah, they’ve made some already. Wanna see?”

“Sure.” You said as you followed him this time. He led you to the back, a locked storage room your destination. It was practically deserted back there and you were glad for it.

Bishop opened the door and allowed you to pass before him, winking as you did. You smiled bashfully, trying hard to hide it. The door closed with a heavy thud behind you both as you made your way over the rack of dresses. Miguel had sent over a new sewing pattern for the ladies, the new design allowing for more product to be moved in one dress. You inspected the delicate craftsmanship, in awe of the women’s talent. It looked exactly how Miguel had wanted. He’d be pleased.

“All good, princesa?” Bishop’s deep voice sounded against your neck, his proximity a lot closer than you’d ever been to him before. You could feel the heat of him behind you, not pressing into you but close.

His words sent shivers down your spine, his nearness making a rush of adrenaline pool in your panties. His hot breath on your neck made your heartbeat journey down and stop right between your legs.

“Great. These look great.” You managed to say, voice now raspy with raw lust. You shifted your neck a fraction of an inch, allowing him more room. You were inviting him to take it further, assuring him you wanted to.

His fingertips danced along your waist, barely touching you but setting your skin ablaze all the same. He stepped closer, pressing himself against you. You gripped the dresses in desperation as his beard scraped at your neck. His lips didn’t move and you groaned in impatience. He only laughed.

“We don’t have time to fuck around, Bishop.” You bit out, trying to goad him into action.

Again he laughed, the chuckle tickling your skin and forcing your heart to beat double-time.

“Say it again.”

“What?” You asked in confusion, trying to comprehend what it was he was demanding of you.

“My name…say it again.”

You moaned in response, pushing your ass back against him. His words made your whole body feel drunk. Your limbs felt heavy. Your lips ached for his. Your lower half sought him out desperately. Your pussy clenched in need. Your nipples peaked against the fabric of your blouse. You wanted him. You wanted him bad.

“Obispo.” You purred, purposely using his legal name. You’d never heard anyone else call him that. The idea of you being the only one gave you a rush of power you hadn't realized you’d been searching for.

Silent elation flooded you at his quick intake of breath and the low groan that sounded seconds later. His fingertips no longer hovered, but instead latched onto your hips and held your ass to him. He cradled you against his hardening cock, the ridge of the zipper making you lean forward ever-so-slightly out of instinct. Bishop’s hips jutted in response, his excitement overflowing at seeing your bent position.

“Fucking shit…” He cursed, rough hands rubbing sensuously at your ass. “You sure you wanna do this?”

His hands were already drifting down to the hem of your skirt. You bent forward again, letting your ass push back into his stiff cock.

“Fuck yes…” You moaned, both in response and encouragement of his hands at your thighs. He pulled the constricting fabric of your skirt up, revealing your thighs and ass. He skimmed a hand over the flesh, pulling at the lace of your thong as he did so. The fabric caught on your clit, forcing a moan from you lips.

“Shhhh, preciosa.” Bishop gently chastised, his thick finger running from your lower back to the flooded slit between your thighs.

The sound of fabric ripping was ignored, the seam of one of the dresses you’d been gripping now split. The hangers strained against the weight of your hold, but you didn’t care. You needed the support against Bishop’s unrelenting hands. He teased your clit, dipping his fingers into your wetness and then back out again. His other hand groped your breast through the silk of your blouse, pinching your nipples with precision.

He was manipulating your body exactly how he needed. And you fell right into his clutches, letting him do as he pleased. You arched into his touch, you ass continuing to push back until he gave you what you needed.

“Bishop, please…”

His mouth attacked your neck, his tongue dancing along the flesh in erotic fashion. He soothed the burn left behind from his facial hair, lapping at you tenderly. He showed no signs of acknowledging your plea.

“Bishop, goddammit.” You cursed as the seconds passed by without his cock stuffing you full. He made no move to release himself from his jeans. His inaction forced you into action. Your hand left the dresses and reached behind you, feeling for the buckle on his jeans.

“What’re you doing?” He gritted out. He wasn’t stopping you, so you forged ahead.

“Knitting a sweater.” You deadpanned, failing to release his belt with one hand. “A little help?”

Devilish laughter filled your ears once again.

“Yes ma’am.”

You rolled your eyes in response. Bishop would use this occasion to address you as something other than the terms of endearment he’d been using. Something that denoted respect. 

Ironic.

A moan, loud and satisfying, left your lips at the feel of Bishop’s warm, hard flesh meeting yours. He’d finally pulled himself from his jeans, letting his cock sit dangerously close to your begging walls. You could feel the wetness already dotting the tip of him, the liquid smearing across your ass. You pushed back while he rutted against you, your bodies needy and seeking friction.

“Ready?” He asked, biting at your earlobe as he did. You could feel the weight of him pressing against your entrance, the head barely slipping past but already making your muscles burn. His hand was holding your panties to the side, affording him the perfect view.

“Yes. Do it.” You demanded breathlessly, jutting your ass out further. He let his cock slide against your opening, coating himself. Each pass caused him to bump your clit. You struggled to stay still, ready to implode from the inside out. Just when you were about to tell him to fuck off, he finally entered you.

“Fucking hell…”

“Jesus…”

You both released ragged curses at the joining of your bodies. You could feel him throbbing against your heat, feel the ridges of his thick cock as your walls squeezed around him. He nudged at your cervix, the angle ensuring you were about to get the most intense fucking you’d ever had. He began to move, sliding effortlessly in and out. Your pussy contracted, your climax already embarrassingly close.

“Harder.” You demanded, thankful that the racks you were supporting yourself on were cemented into the ground.

Bishop grunted, his hips acquiescing your request. He thrust so hard you almost went headfirst into the cement wall. He caught you though, his hand gripping your hip and keeping you mercilessly attached to him. You whimpered at the brute force of it, the tingles of euphoria getting stronger with each plunge.

“I can feel how close you are. Cum for me, querida.”

Your walls tremored in response, as if proving his statement. He growled, his hips faltering at your tightness. He let both of his hands come together at your hips, stabilizing you for his oncoming assault. You bit your lip, trying to keep your delirious moans at bay. The slap of skin reverberated throughout the room as he fucked you with all the savagery of a wild animal. Despite your effort, noises of extreme pleasure flew past your lips. You trailed a hand down to bathe your abandoned clit with attention. Within seconds you were coming.

“Shit, shit, shit…” You chanted as your entire body convulsed in intense waves, the orgasm so powerful that it felt like it lasted for hours. Your eyes were squeezed shut and all you could do was hope that Bishop kept his firm hold on you.

“Fuck baby…that feels fucking good.” He praised, letting you ride out your pleasure. You spasmed until your energy was drained and your mind had traveled back to earth. His touch still burned you, but in a much different way. You were utterly satiated and still yearning for more.

He resumed his movements only when he felt you lazily push back, signaling you were ready for him to continue. He started off slow once again, but sped up as he got closer to his own climax. Your pussy came to life once again, struggling to grasp against him as he thrust. Your release coated you both, making it difficult for him to stay buried inside you.

You hissed when he hit that intensely sensitive spot within you, forcing you to try and pull away. But he didn’t let you. Instead, he held you tighter while he thrust faster. The grip on your hips hurt, but the extreme pleasure between your thighs eclipsed it. You could feel his hips start to falter as he dived right off the cliff to join you.

Warm spurts of his cum filled you. The sensation was almost as fulfilling as your own orgasm. You felt his entire body tighten up before it released and practically went immobile. His hands drifted from your body, his cock barely inside you anymore with the abundance of moisture between the two of you. His breathing was ragged, coming out in rapid succession. He steadied you as you moved to straighten yourself, your legs now teetering on your heels. The sound of his belt buckle alerted you to his movements as you shifted your skirt back down. You were both attempting to appear as if you hadn’t fucked in a storage closet full of quinceañera dresses. And while you both were still on the clock.

You adjusted your blouse, tucking it back into your skirt. You met Bishop’s gaze, dead-set on not jeopardizing your working relationship. He cracked a lazy smile, showcasing his now sluggish mood. 

You laughed.

He joined in, shaking his head as he did. “Miguel’s gonna kill us.”

“Not if he doesn’t find out. You plan on calling him up to tell him?” You teased.

“Thought about it.” He shot back, the humor clearly displayed all over his face.

“And why would you do that?” You arched a brow and crossed your arms.

Bishop stepped into your space once again, licking his lips as he held your stare. You waited with baited breath, heart back to pounding wildly against your breast bone.

“To let him know I fucked you and he still hasn’t.” Bishop all but gloated.

“And what makes you think he hasn’t?” You replied with obvious attitude.

“The way he looks at you. That man hangs on your every word. It’s almost fucking sad.”

You blinked, not shocked by his observation, but still surprised. You and Miguel had a past. One that did not include you sleeping together though it had gotten close. You’d made it your own rule to never sleep with the men you worked with. It was imperative that they respected you. 

But Bishop had been different. Bishop had experience that made you feel like a novice with most things. You supposed that was the allure.

He pulled a cigarette from the pack hidden inside his leather. A silver lighter appeared from his jean pocket, the flame already dancing against the end of the stick in his mouth.

“Say a word of this and I’ll have you silenced in a heartbeat, El Presidente.” You warned. You knew he wouldn’t, but you could never be too careful. Men liked to think they were superior and above emotion, but they could be worse than any woman you’d ever known. Their dicks seemed to always get in the way of logic and the last thing you needed was a pissing contest to take place between the two alphas. 

Bishop paused, eyes narrowing at your obvious threat. He sucked in a mouthful of smoke and let it plume out and into your face. He laughed at your words, but you could still see the seriousness in his expression. But you didn’t back down. You may have just let him fuck you, but he wasn’t the one that signed your paychecks. Nor did you take orders from him. The cartel was bigger than him. And he knew that.  

“Oh, I have no doubt…princesa.”

[the-lady-writes-what]

Gilded Cage, Part One

Summary:

Keigo Takami, AKA Hawks, has turned villain and you don't know why. After a run-in with the League of Villains, you give chase after the former hero. When you end up taking a bullet to the knee, you're surprised that Keigo not only left you alive, but has taken you to his secret lair. He's built a special cage for you. He says it's to keep the League from coming after you, but you can't help but wonder if it's true or if he just wants you for himself.

Content: Kidnapping Sorry. No smut this time, but it'll be in the next one. Stay tuned

Villain!Hawks x Hero!Reader

(You're a pro-hero whose quirk is basically bending metal. Think Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender)

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3

This part does not contain smut (See above mentioned note). For smut, please follow the links for Parts 2 and 3

                                                       ---080---

It was hard to walk down the halls of Endeavor’s agency these days. The news of Keigo Takami’s, also known as Hawks, betrayal hit Japan’s hero world like a tsunami. It turned into a question of who the next hero will be to go against their moral code and become a villain. Your workload had increased in the drama and paranoia that followed after Keigo’s sudden villainous change. Endeavor worked you down to the bone, but that was because he must have seen you as useful. Your hero name? Iron Maiden on account of your ability to bend metal, such as iron, steel, and copper. Netting bad guys was a whole lot easier when you could wrap them in a fence or trap them with a lamppost.

You finished the afternoon’s paperwork before heading to the breakroom for some lukewarm coffee. You half-expected Keigo to be sitting on the counter where you used to find him. He used to be a fan of Endeavor’s, so he frequented the agency whenever he felt like it. Of all the time you got to see him, it became evident that he wasn’t there to goof around Endeavor’s office. You should have known better than to encourage his casual flirting, but you couldn’t help yourself. Keigo was the first guy who turned your way after a dry spell in the romance department. It had been months since you last had a date, and even if Keigo was joking, it was nice to have a conversation with someone that didn’t involve hero work.

If only you knew back then that his over-confident smile belied an insidious plan to turn to the other side.

Keigo didn’t hurt people. Much. It wasn’t a great comfort to know that he at least didn’t go around murdering people as soon as he became a villain. That didn’t change the fact that he had become one of them. He robbed banks, caused collateral damage to the cityscape, and set the hero society into panic mode. Nobody knew who would switch sides. Heroes and civilians were starting to look at each other with suspicious eyes ever since.

You fixed yourself a cup of coffee when the cellphone on your hip went off. You immediately stopped what you were doing to pick it up. Shocked, you found your boss’s name and number on the screen. You didn’t hesitate to hit ‘receive.’

Endeavor’s voice came loud and clear, even over the sounds of fighting.

“We need you over by Central Park. Takami’s new crew showed up, and we need your quirk to help round them up!”

“On my way, sir.”

Central Park was at least ten miles from your location. Even if you speed, you won’t make it there on time by car. Not this close to rush hour. Of course, you had other methods of getting to where you needed to go. You pried open the nearest window and lept threw it. Part of your hero costume involved strips of steel wire you could sling around with like that American comic book character. Sailing over the city and swinging in between buildings was much faster than any car. You arrived at the scene with the villains terrorizing civilians trying to enjoy their day at the park. You spotted three of them charging at you as soon as you hit the ground. They were nothing but mooks. Clustered together, it was quick work wrapping them in a bundle of wire. You spotted others and repeated the process. Keigo was nowhere in sight. You heard the sound of flames engulfing the trees. Pillars of red and blue flames shot up in the distance. You found heroes to take care of the villains you’d already captured before heading towards what should have been the epicenter of the fighting. Endeavor was busy with Dabi, and there seemed to be no other villains in sight. Still no sign of Keigo anywhere.

“Endeavor!”

You dodged a blue fireball just in time. You hoped that Endeavor would order you to go elsewhere. Five more minutes, and you’d be cooking in your costume.

“Takami headed west. I leave it to you to apprehend him!” Endeavor was so focused on his opponent that he didn’t turn towards you when he gave the order.

You had to dodge more flames, both Dabi’s and Endeavor’s, to head towards Keigo’s last known whereabouts. Away from the smoke and flames, you found a trail of red feathers. There was a moment where you stopped to wonder if Keigo had been injured and left behind some feathers by mistake or if he was deliberately mocking you. However, you didn’t have a moment to linger on that. You followed the trail of feathers regardless if it was a plot.

Keigo made it easy for you to follow. That should have been your first red flag. You were so focused on getting him in handcuffs that the apparent beeline to him was so fucking clear as day. You picked up the feathers as you went. You had a fistful in each hand by the time you reached the end of the park. Your trail went ice cold.

That is until you spotted the shadow of bird wings graze above you. Your head whipped to the sky. Hawks swooped down, nearly knocking you down to the ground. His wings grazed you. He perched himself on a branch far above you.

His appearance was vastly different from the last time you saw him. He wore an all-black suit with a red and gold tie. Pewter rings were on his fingers. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, but his smile was the most unnerving thing about him. You lashed outwards with your arms, the metal from your gauntlets catching him by the ankles.

“Keigo Takami, you’re under arrest. You have the right to—”

Keigo didn’t let the mild impairment weigh him down. His wings couldn’t be easily held down by you. He flew straight towards you. His height never hid the fact that he was powerful. He plowed you into the ground. The wires unwhirled around his feet and let him soar above you.

“Get back down here, bird brain!” You lashed out your wires again in hopes of pulling him back down to earth.

Each time Keigo moves just a little bit out of reach. You already spent so much on capturing those D-level cronies that you didn’t stop to think of conserving your limited amount of iron wire. Keigo’s wings took him high above to where your weapon couldn’t reach him. He smirked down at you before taking off.

You ran after him, going so far as to hopping over the chain-link fence and following on foot. Your wires came in handy twice today as you soared from lamppost to lamppost, tracking Keigo’s aerial movements. Citizens yelled words of encouragement as you chased after Japan’s new most wanted criminal. The air stung your cheeks, and you could feel your eyes watering as you sped faster between rooftops.

Keigo made the mistake of flying to close to the building whose roof you just scaled. There was a split-second decision. You could stop and let him get away, or you could take the chance. You lunged for him, limbs scrambling through the air to find purchase. Your hands grabbed his suit jacket. Hauling yourself upon his back, you managed to secure your legs around him and put his neck in a headlock.

“As I said before, you’re under arrest!” You screamed as the wind busted your eardrums.

Keigo merely looked over his shoulder at you. His smile was cheeky as ever.

“Really, Princess? The way I see it…you’re the one at my mercy. Unless you got a plan to get us both safely on the ground without bashing our brains on the concrete.”

You growled as Keigo caught you. You didn’t think this far ahead.

You screamed as Keigo flew up towards the sun at lightning speed. Light burning your eyes, you had no choice but to shield them. Keigo used your distraction as the opportunity to shift your weight off his back. All too late, you felt your legs and arms loosen around him. Soon you were plummeting back to the ground. With any luck, your wires would find purchase on something and save you from falling to your death at the last minute. At the rate you were falling, good luck.

You were ten feet from meeting a concrete rooftop when Keigo reappeared. He wrapped you in his arms almost in a possessive manner.

“You’re way too pretty to let splatter. Come on. I’ve got a much better place to finish this!”

His clever hands worked your phone from your belt. Keigo dropped it on the ground, where it shattered several feet below you. Your only chance of survival was to let him take you where he wanted and not get your brains to plaster the sidewalk. His wings soared over the city. You once imagined being in his arms like this. It only made your stomach churn with the thought of what he was going to do to you once you were where he wanted you.

Keigo dropped down in the industrial district. Factories surrounded you. The smell of iron and diesel filled your lungs. But of all the places he picked, why did Keigo go where you had the most advantage? Didn’t he realize that with all of this metal, you were the one with the home-field edge? You didn’t have the time to ask or react when he pulled out the gun from his jacket.

In a flash, your life flashed in your mind. You didn’t stand there waiting to die. At least, you were going to make sure they say you died fighting to your last breath. You charged for Keigo, metal whips whirring to life.

BANG!

It was over. Except instead of sweet oblivion that came with death, you found yourself bleeding on the ground. Your blood pooled around your knee, where he shot you. The pain was exquisite as the bullet lodged itself in your knee cap. You weren’t going to be standing on that leg for a very long time; you could forget about fighting. Keigo’s black shoes came into your line of vision. From shock, you got onto your elbows to look at the bastard.

“What…the hell?” You ground your teeth. “I didn’t picture…you to be the sadist. Going to kill…me…slowly? Is that how you roll now?”

Keigo put his gun away. Then, he reached into the other side of his jacket. When his hand came away this time, he held a syringe.

“That was just to keep you from fighting me. I’m going to get you patched up real quick. Just as soon as I give you your medicine.”

Keigo was faster than you. Your hand shot up to grab him, but the needle was already in your neck. He squeezed the trigger and pumped you full of the drug. It took a few minutes for it to kick in. By the time he had you in his arms again, your head was spinning. A moment later, you finally found that oblivion you were looking for earlier. This time, you were reasonably sure you’d wake up this time, and you weren’t going to know where he was taking you. And that was the scariest thought you had before passing out in the former hero’s arms.

When you woke up, you noticed the stiffness in your leg. Your favorite color draped the bed you laid in. Your hero’s costume was gone and replaced with a negligee you wouldn’t own even if you had a boyfriend. It, too, was in your favorite color. The lace hem barely touched your upper thigh.

Further down, your right leg was held in a cast. Your foot rested on a pillow. As your vision cleared, you got a better picture of where you were.

It could have been described as a room if only it had more than one wall. Where plaster walls should have been, stood solid gold bars. The floors were marble tiles. There was a dresser, a desk, a lavish set up on a vanity, and a familiar coffee table on which sat a widescreen T.V. Every item in your cell was made of either wood, fiber, plastic, or metal you couldn’t bend, including the bars. Squeezed between the actual wall and the cell bars stood a small room. With its door closed, so you couldn’t discern its purpose yet. Footsteps came down the hallway. They rounded the corner. Keigo smiled at you like you were a pretty bird in his cage.

“You’ve been asleep for a while now. Doc had to give you an extra shot so you wouldn’t wake up in the middle of your surgery. Sorry I had to bust your knee cap. You can be so stubborn sometimes.”

“Why am I in a cage? Why am I dressed like this? Just what the hell are you on?” You started to get up from the bed, but it was difficult to swing your leg over the bed when it was in a cast.

“In reverse order,” said Keigo, “I’m not on any drugs. I thought you would look cute in that negligee, and it’s in your favorite color. I put you here for your protection, and honestly, you look damn good in it.”

“Why? Why the hell did you do any of this?” You still struggled to move your damn leg.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I’d hate to come in there and show you why.”

His eyes held a glimmer of that charm you once fell for, but there was a predatory light that eclipsed it. Keigo leaned against the bars, stroking the beams.

“Solid gold. It took me a long time to find enough money and resources to build this thing. A pretty little cage for my pretty little bird.”

“Just how long have you been saving?” You wanted to know how long he had wanted to put you in here, yet you still dreaded his answer.

“A couple of years. My original idea was to take us on a cruise. It probably would have been much more romantic, but things come up. You change your plans. Ideals become tainted, and you have to find new ones.”

“What happened to you? You were the number two hero! Some so many people looked up to you. There are still people who believe that this is just a rouse to capture the League of Villains. How could you do that? How could you betray everyone’s trust?”

Keigo didn’t say anything. He held his head down as if lost in the thought. He braced his forearm against the bars as he leaned his head against his arm. Inhaling a long breath,

Keigo let out an aggravated sigh. When he looked up at you, you saw a different man. “Let me ask you this, Princess. How could somebody’s parents sell their kid to the government? How could anyone take a small kid and turn them into a child soldier? For what? So they can pat themselves on the back and say that they’re morally superior to the villains. They take kids from their parents and steal their childhood. And when those kids grow into adults and realize what a shitty system they were raised in, they stare up at you surprised that you had enough of their bullshit.”

“T-Takami…”

“I realized too late that everything that was supposed to be mine was taken from me. My family. My name. My childhood. For what? So I can be number two behind a man like Endeavor. Have you spent time with the bastard? I never noticed it before, but all of a sudden, it becomes clear that society cares less about a hero’s moral code and more about their ability to beat down the nail that sticks out. Ever wonder how his youngest got that scar?”

You nodded. You vaguely remember hearing Endeavor talk about his youngest son.

“It turns out Endeavor pushed his wife around so much that she went mental. She burned the side of Shoto’s face because it reminded her of the man who knocked her around and forced to have his four kids. Does that sound like hero material to you?”

Blood drained from your face. It made sense…in a way. You never met Endeavor’s youngest, so you couldn’t verify the truth or not. For all you knew, Keigo was pulling it out of his ass to make you sympathize with him.

“Why didn’t you go to the authorities? There must have been someone who would have investigated it.”

“By the time I found out, nobody would have believed me at any rate. Endeavor might be a bastard, but he’s still the number one hero. I’m just the rejected garbage the Safety Commission doesn’t want to clean up.” Keigo unlocked the door to your cage.

“Why are you telling me this then?”

Keigo crossed the “room” and picked you up from the bed. You couldn’t move your leg without feeling a jolt of pain go up to your thigh. There was no way for you to struggle. “Because I made a deal with the League. As long as I keep you by my side and you don’t go anywhere, they won’t touch you or your family. I’m afraid you won’t be seeing much of the outside world for a while. At least until Shigaraki accomplishes his goals.”

“You know he’s crazy, right?” You sneered.

“Yeah. Little bit. He’s also the first person who made any damn sense when I realized how badly they screwed me over,” said Keigo as he carried you down the hall.

There were a few rooms that he walked past, but he stopped at the end of the hall. He kicked it open. Your heart fluttered like you were his bride; he carried over the threshold. Your stomach churned with guilt rotting inside it. You shouldn’t be having those kinds of thoughts for the man who turned into a villain and kidnapped you. He confessed to planning to keep you as a prisoner for however long it took for that maniac Shigaraki to complete his mission.

Keigo brought you to an actual bedroom. It was a little more sparse than the cage he planned to keep you in. He must have spent more on you than himself. Looking around, the bedroom contained a giant bed and little else. He had you sit on the bed for a moment. Keigo pulled back the covers and fluffed the pillows before gently grabbing you and laying you out. There was a contraption hanging from the ceiling that he pulled down using a thick cord. He slipped your leg into a sling and adjusted it to your comfort before Keigo left you to pull clothes from the dresser. He disappeared into the adjacent bathroom didn’t return until he was half-dressed in a pair of black sweatpants.

Small scars littered his chest and shoulders. From what, you dared not ask. You remembered his words about a stolen childhood to be raised as a soldier. You wondered if they were true. Your mind was plunged headfirst back into the present when Keigo crawled under the sheets with you. Your face went red.

“Relax, Princess. I’m not going to do anything,” he mumbled. He turned off the lights.

“Then why am I dressed like this?” You asked in the dark.

You felt Keigo’s weight make the bed dip. He settled on his side so he could snake his arm around your waist. He snuggled uncomfortably close, but he kept his hands mostly to himself or above the blanket.

“Because you look damn cute in (fave color). I like looking at you.”

His breath against your skin created goosebumps in its wake. Your eyes eventually closed to sleep. As you drifted off, you asked yourself: How long could you live like this?

                                                       ---080---

[blindtaleteller]

PROMPT: OOC Interview with [X] Clint ‘Cuyler’ Barton

" Been a while since we did one of these.. but. You know the drill man! This is your first interview, yeah? Want to explain why and where you’re from? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) Besides trolling the hell out of tags with Viedimadr? *grins* Ah, mostly that’s keeping the core element I guess. Most Bartons are the quintessential superhero, at least in the range of having that alter-ego. Might not wear a mask ‘til Ronin in the MCU? But --and especially with how my character works pre-Avengers; sharing past the job isn’t exactly any of our fortes? We have a family to protect, and if you do the math of how old the kids are even in Ultron: that family has been a thing since before we take the higher ground up out of the paid-SHIELD-killer status I’m in that Nat does mention in the original Avengers. Also usually save it up between the pages and occasional poke into tags and skits here on the dash.

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) As for where I’m from! *he leans back and hooks his hands behind his head* We’re Universe Fourteen; two doors on the left down the connecting Vestibule from Lisan’s Universe, and one to right of the Ego-centrics with Grey Knight and Leadsprite. Ours starts out different in the respect that, Fury ends up getting the Scepter tap instead of me; and the resulting conflict goes very differently.

“ Such as? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) We never even hit New York; Fury tries to snag me in, and under the Stone’s influence that means trying to at best grab my kids since he’s one of the only two people attached who know about them. Loki ends up breaking form and getting in the middle of that. Yanks us off world and out of Fury’s sight, with the goods. That’s where we picked up with our first published bit ‘The Warming Stone’ anyways.

” Speaking of.. what do you think about the split from the original timeline? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) I’m having a lot of fun with it myself. And I’m pretty sure Laura is somewhere outside the room clapping in agreement; she’s quieter than most but a constant presence and; she and Lo get along real well. Anyway. End up dealing with that whole ‘the city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots; and I have a bow and arrow’ overwhelmed mentality a lot sooner because of it? I like the existential twists that come with the Dark Fairy Tale elements and whatnot that get thrown out there and right into our faces pretty much immediately, what with running face-first, on foot, into Jotunheim of all places through that doorway in Illinois. We did some collabs with the other guys that run through there, on top of the research and expanded on some of the wildlife ourselves to manage that? So that was some actual fun. This side of the pool I can absolutely admit us Bartons are a bit masochistic? *laughs* I am pretty sure we enjoy exploring those bits and how we’d react to them. I’m no different in that respect. I mean.. how would you react to being a dinner sized meal for labrador-to-great-dane sized snow-caterpillars with the elongated teeth of freakin shark? Or finding out the hard way there’s giant predator owls flying around about the size of a plane that eat those, just as an example? Never mind trolls, or frost giants, or anything else that manages to survive in that kind of insane climate and might decide to try and eat you just to see if you taste good.

” Probably stay inside forever if I was going to be honest? XD Anyway, Is there anything you’d change about your current story? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) Considering we’re still building back there? Not yet. I mean, too much fun so far. I mean we’ve done what.. four parts at this point? All during what we’re currently calling the Traveler Phase from Earth to Asgard through the doors between Illinois, Jotunheim, and Vanaheim. Which is interesting in itself. I mean whole other world, and things are shaken up before we even get there and (in part because of the fact that) we end up dependent on our Loki pretty fast. I think maybe my only change there would be in maybe doing another part for Extras that includes ‘Ogre’ .. who hasn’t even shown yet at that point in the story. He’s our Bruce Banner; or more specifically our Hulk? Thing is finding a space that won’t interfere too heavily with the book when we do it though. We could excuse the bits in the Traveler Phase because we intended to shorten it when we got there anyway; maybe cut straight to Asgard with that as a supplemental extra; a lot like the GROUNDED kids did with their out-takes featured in the same platovember series.

“ I imagine messing with Universe Three’s next installment’s been helping that along? “

    Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  Oh yeah, definitely. That mirror of Bruce’s is pretty similar in mindset and approach.

” That said, do I have to ask if there’s anyone in particular you like to watch or get into reading over their shoulder when they’re at it? “

    Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) Oh definitely The Bean right now, for sure? But there’s a list.. *grins* GROUNDED and DREAMS being woven together finally, especially with  some of the inter-universal roles being brought up is a big one. Looking forward to whipping out that sword.. heh. Though, watching the ESCAPE kids from the other forming Vestibule has been an interesting ride now that they’re not entirely cloistered in Tuscon, or their hotel room. I know what’s up there outside of Traverse too, which helps. And there’s Josh. I think everyone’s been waiting for that fireball to explode across the page? The fact Tony, Lo and Fury managed to somehow make that nutcase all on their own with just a few lines still makes me laugh. Walsh is a character and a half. I’m looking forward to getting my chance at screwing with his mirror in our Door. Leigh is a weird bit of fun too, but Josh is definitely one of those at the top of the list, and who you chose for a face in close rep, is interesting. Maybe Vix too as far as characters go? But he’d a little lower down for me at the moment.

“ Stab, stab pull..? Heh. Which is your favorite upcoming group from the books/portions of Mixology aka the Lokiverse at large? And which are you most curious about? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  Ha! yeah; stab-stab, pull. Loxley’s got an interesting bunch next door. *rubs his hands up over the top of his head and back down* Honestly, MONSTERS and ASHES. Ah, that’s Door and or Universes Three and Twelve for those that don’t know. Three has a similar bonding mechanic between Bruce and Lo I’ve been interested in, while ASHES hits on other things, including a rockier relationship and overall dynamic between his Bartons and Redbird (that’s his Quill) that tends to go dark in the personal aspects a lot. I guess I like that struggle between them, personally. Loxley brushes something similar going on post-Ronin with his family dynamic with his internals and his Lo’s concerns for that; but I think Lili and his crew hit that at a whole other angle from around five years prior on? With, a whole other take on the family dynamic that Laura and I have with Lo by the time we leave Asgard. And that’s curious to me.

” I put you guys through a lot of shit in the name of storytelling. Any parts you have complaints about? “ 

   Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) None, planned or otherwise.

“ ..that was fast. “

   Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  What can I say? I enjoy the twisty shit, at least on this end of the pool. Ignoring the reservations, and dealing with the danger-fear of getting hurt in ways that can’t be fixed with stitches or band-aids, of accepting that kind of bond knowing how it started and risking the idea that finding out why might not make that danger less or that person better or more relatable than perceived to be able to accept them farther even after that investment?

  Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) The contradiction of pride and ego versus conscience and the guilt when it belongs there getting in the way -and even dealing with when it should be toned down that results in having one,  even if it’s just a sliver in places and playing that out along with dipping into places mostly ignored or washed over in the Universes; is interesting and fun to me. Danger included. I have a little less guilt than my mirrors in a lot of directions that gets placed elsewhere after we come back to Earth; and I enjoy that dynamic and what we’re trying to explore there. That whole; ‘what if he was loyal, without he stone’s influence’ aspect, in our own flavor is a LOT of fun to play with. It’s a very different Universe, but holds hints and background pieces, and similarities enough, as well as the core; that it’s a feasable alternative to the canon line. Which is extra fun, for the personal aspects or ‘humanity’ we manage in the process? So no.. no complaints. Not yet anyways.. heh. We’ll see how I feel when you start actually touching actual, hands-on Gagnarok fixes and alternates though. Outside of that Cosmic-FrostIron bitty from a few doors down anyway. That’s gonna be a mess.

  “ Whee.. yeah. MONSTERS gets that honor first, most likely.. “

  Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  Good. Bean can handle that best, I think... or maybe worst. Either way it’s gonna be entertaining for me..

For those interested, Cuyler’s published stories are found below in chronological order (they were posted out of order in part because of the prompts themselves and some parts were planned ahead to take certain slots.) The title names are the links to each part.

The Warming Stone (part 1)

Fathers (part 4)

The Hart (part 2)

Between the Reds (part 3)