#All while the older one has to work through his own problems and trauma

[lemeblogs]

GUYS. GUYS I’VE CONNECTED THE DOTS. I’VE CONNECTED THE DOTS.

[makingqueerhistory]

Queer Books Challenged in Florida Schools and Libraries

There are some affiliate links below in case you want to support MQH.

Gender Queer: A Memoir, Maia Kobabe: Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears.

The Color Purple, Alice Walker: Separated as girls, sisters Celie and Nettie sustain their loyalty to and hope in each other across time, distance and silence. Through a series of letters spanning nearly thirty years, first from Celie to God, then the sisters to each other despite the unknown, the novel draws readers into its rich and memorable portrayals of Celie, Nettie, Shug Avery and Sofia and their experience. The Color Purple broke the silence around domestic and sexual abuse, narrating the lives of women through their pain and struggle, companionship and growth, resilience and bravery.

Julián Is a Mermaid, Jessica Love: While riding the subway home from the pool with his abuela one day, Julián notices three women spectacularly dressed up. Their hair billows in brilliant hues, their dresses end in fishtails, and their joy fills the train car. When Julián gets home, daydreaming of the magic he's seen, all he can think about is dressing up just like the ladies in his own fabulous mermaid costume: a butter-yellow curtain for his tail, the fronds of a potted fern for his headdress. But what will Abuela think about the mess he makes -- and even more importantly, what will she think about how Julián sees himself? Mesmerizing and full of heart, Jessica Love's author-illustrator debut is a jubilant picture of self-love and a radiant celebration of individuality.

Drama: A Graphic Novel, Raina Telgemeier: Callie loves theater. And while she would totally try out for her middle school's production of Moon over Mississippi, she can't really sing. Instead she's the set designer for the drama department's stage crew, and this year she's determined to create a set worthy of Broadway on a middle-school budget. But how can she, when she doesn't know much about carpentry, ticket sales are down, and the crew members are having trouble working together? Not to mention the onstage AND offstage drama that occurs once the actors are chosen. And when two cute brothers enter the picture, things get even crazier!

Cemetery Boys, Aiden Thomas: Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can't get rid of him. When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his true gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free. However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school's resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He's determined to find out what happened and tie off some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave.

I Am Billie Jean King, Brad Meltzer: This friendly, fun biography series focuses on the traits that made our heroes great--the traits that kids can aspire to in order to live heroically themselves. Each book tells the story of one of America's icons in a lively, conversational way that works well for the youngest nonfiction readers and that always includes the hero's childhood influences. At the back are an excellent timeline and photos. This volume features Billie Jean King, the world champion tennis player who fought successfully for women's rights. From a young age, Billie Jean King loved sports--especially tennis! But as she got older, she realized that plenty of people, even respected male athletes, didn't take women athletes seriously. She set to prove them wrong and show girls everywhere that sports are for everyone, regardless of gender.

This One Summer, Mariko Tamaki: Every summer, Rose goes with her mom and dad to a lake house in Awago Beach. It's their getaway, their refuge. Rosie's friend Windy is always there, too, like the little sister she never had. But this summer is different. Rose's mom and dad won't stop fighting, and when Rose and Windy seek a distraction from the drama, they find themselves with a whole new set of problems. One of the local teens - just a couple of years older than Rose and Windy - is caught up in something bad... Something life threatening. It's a summer of secrets, and sorrow, and growing up, and it's a good thing Rose and Windy have each other.

Marriage of a Thousand Lies, Sj Sindu: Lucky and her husband, Krishna, are gay. They present an illusion of marital bliss to their conservative Sri Lankan-American families, while each dates on the side. It's not ideal, but for Lucky, it seems to be working. She goes out dancing, she drinks a bit, she makes ends meet by doing digital art on commission. But when Lucky's grandmother has a nasty fall, Lucky returns to her childhood home and unexpectedly reconnects with her former best friend and first lover, Nisha, who is preparing for her own arranged wedding with a man she's never met.

And Tango Makes Three, Peter Parnell: At the penguin house at the Central Park Zoo, two penguins named Roy and Silo were a little bit different from the others. But their desire for a family was the same. And with the help of a kindly zookeeper, Roy and Silo got the chance to welcome a baby penguin of their very own.

More Happy Than Not, Adam Silvera: In the months following his father's suicide, sixteen-year-old Aaron Soto can't seem to find happiness again, despite the support of his girlfriend, Genevieve, and his overworked mom. Grief and the smile-shaped scar on his wrist won't let him forget the pain. But when Aaron meets Thomas, a new kid in the neighborhood, something starts to shift inside him. Aaron can't deny his unexpected feelings for Thomas despite the tensions their friendship has created with Genevieve and his tight-knit crew. Since Aaron can't stay away from Thomas or turn off his newfound happiness, he considers taking drastic actions. The Leteo Institute's revolutionary memory-altering procedure will straighten him out, even if it means forgetting who he truly is.

Melissa, Alex Gino: When people look at Melissa, they think they see a boy named George. But she knows she's not a boy. She knows she's a girl.

Melissa thinks she'll have to keep this a secret forever. Then her teacher announces that their class play is going to be Charlotte's Web. Melissa really, really, REALLY wants to play Charlotte. But the teacher says she can't even try out for the part... because she's a boy.

With the help of her best friend, Kelly, Melissa comes up with a plan. Not just so she can be Charlotte -- but so everyone can know who she is, once and for all.

A Quick & Easy Guide to Queer & Trans Identities, Mady G, Jules Zuckerberg: In this quick and easy guide to queer and trans identities, cartoonists Mady G and Jules Zuckerberg guide you through the basics of the LGBT+ world! Covering essential topics like sexuality, gender identity, coming out, and navigating relationships, this guide explains the spectrum of human experience through informative comics, interviews, worksheets, and imaginative examples. A great starting point for anyone curious about queer and trans life, and helpful for those already on their own journeys!

This Book Is Gay, Juno Dawson: This candid, funny, and uncensored exploration of sexuality and what it's like to grow up LGBTQ also includes real stories from people across the gender and sexual spectrums, not to mention hilarious illustrations.

Little & Lion, Brandy Colbert: When Suzette comes home to Los Angeles from her boarding school in New England, she's isn't sure if she'll ever want to go back. L.A. is where her friends and family are (as well as her crush, Emil). And her stepbrother, Lionel, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, needs her emotional support. But as she settles into her old life, Suzette finds herself falling for someone new...the same girl her brother is in love with. When Lionel's disorder spirals out of control, Suzette is forced to confront her past mistakes and find a way to help her brother before he hurts himself--or worse.

King and the Dragonflies, Kacen Callender: Twelve-year-old Kingston James is sure his brother Khalid has turned into a dragonfly. When Khalid unexpectedly passed away, he shed what was his first skin for another to live down by the bayou in their small Louisiana town. Khalid still visits in dreams, and King must keep these secrets to himself as he watches grief transform his family.

It would be easier if King could talk with his best friend, Sandy Sanders. But just days before he died, Khalid told King to end their friendship, after overhearing a secret about Sandy-that he thinks he might be gay. "You don't want anyone to think you're gay too, do you?"

Sorted: Growing Up, Coming Out, and Finding My Place: A Transgender Memoir, Jackson Bird: An unflinching and endearing memoir from LGBTQ+ advocate Jackson Bird about how he finally sorted things out and came out as a transgender man.When Jackson Bird was twenty-five, he came out as transgender to his friends, family, and anyone in the world with an internet connection. Assigned female at birth and raised as a girl, he often wondered if he should have been born a boy. Jackson didn't share this thought with anyone because he didn't think he could share it with anyone.

The Black Flamingo, Dean Atta: Michael is a mixed-race gay teen growing up in London. All his life, he's navigated what it means to be Greek-Cypriot and Jamaican--but never quite feeling Greek or Black enough.

As he gets older, Michael's coming out is only the start of learning who he is and where he fits in. When he discovers the Drag Society, he finally finds where he belongs--and the Black Flamingo is born

Explore the full list here.

[babiebom]

How Many kids I think the Bachelor/ettes would (want to) have

A/N: because I like thinking about things~ also because I started thinking about it because I want a lot of kids and I wondered who I would actually work well with. Late Merry Christmas btw!!! And happy holidays!!

Tw:sex, maybe cursing idk I always put cursing, childbirth/children, mentions of issues with childbirth, mentions of postpartum depression, mentions of adoptions and other stuff surrounding it.

Wc: at least 5 bullet points for each

Sdv Masterlist

Sebastian

I think he would want either one kid only or as many as his partner wants

Because I can see him being a good dad to his kids

But like I also think that people like him only have one kid because they didn’t get along with their own siblings

So the trauma is like I don’t want to have to choose between my kids when they don’t get along and I don’t want any problems so having one is good

But I also thinks he would want to see how close siblings could be to live somewhat through them

So it’s literally a toss up

On the topic of adoption though he’d probably adopt an older kid if you’re okay with it

Like a teen that doesn’t have a family and is about to age out

I think he’s that type of person and you could adopt a baby or a younger kid later on.

I also think Robin would be present but not like constantly there. Like it’s grandmas for Christmas and other holidays and sometimes she visits but that’s it.

I do think that he would probably end up with a lot of kids bc he can’t keep it in his pants now that he has a significant other.

Sam

He’s going to have at least 3

I see him having 2 boys and a girl if I’m being honest and it would be really cute

All of them are learning to skateboard and something about music

I think he would be a very chaotic dad

Like you have a heart attack every couple of minutes being married to him

Like “yeah! Junior lost a tooth” “how’d he lose a tooth?” “He absolutely ate shit at the skatepark”

I think he would be happy to adopt but probably wouldn’t because of Jodi

I do headcanon Jodi as bit of judgemental

Like she won’t say anything outright but she will be passive aggressive like “I love allllll of my grandkids! Even (adopted child’s name)”

So if you guys do end up adopting for one reason or another you’ll only see Jodi for big holidays unless Sam can get her to change

Vincent is a sweet uncle though and Kent is a decent grandfather. Refuses to tell stories of the war to them though. Jodi is an overbearing but GREAT grandmother when she’s not being petty

Shane

Well he already has Jas so he either will have one more so she has a sibling/cousin

or he will have like 4 more to make the total 5

I do think he would like a big family

But all of the kids are a couple years apart at least because he does want to make sure they all are happy

It takes a while for you two to have kids or adopt because he does still have depression and thinks he would be a shitty father

But he’d be the best out of the bachelors I think maybe number two

Because I feel like out of all of them his love would be greater simply because he does have that self hate and he wants to make sure he’s doing as well as he can

Jas is VERY happy to be a big sister

Harvey

Harvey is a 2 kid guy

Like he would be a 1 kid guy but he’s afraid that the child would be lonely

I also think he would be an only child so he doesn’t want his kid to have the same childhood as him

But the kids would definitely have an age gap

Like at least 8 years because he wants to make sure you(if you’re a person who can give birth) are okay after giving birth.

I also think that if he adopts he would go for siblings specifically

Like two kids that don’t want to be separated by the system or two kids who are biologically related he would go for them

Simply because he wants two kids anyways and keeping people together is what would make him happy

Alex

Either 1 or 4 there’s no in between

I feel like you would have either all boys or all girls with him

Like his genes are very predictable not gonna lie

No matter what gender I think he would make all of them play gridball

Would be hella sad if none of the kids liked the sport bc COME ON

I do think that in his heart he would like to adopt

Especially if it’s to save a kid that’s in a bad family situation

Because in a way his grandparents adopted him after his father left and his mother died

Like those are his parents for lack of actual mom and dad

Very sweet dad but does have sexist tendencies

Like if you have daughters he would be much more strict with them but also would spoil them rotten

And while he’s not as strict with the boys he’s also not as sweet on them.

You have to get him to open up and realize that raising the kids in a specific way can breed resentment towards him. He gets smarter the more kids you have.

Elliott

I think Elliott would want one or two

I don’t know why but I see him as a guy that doesn’t have a lot of kids

Mostly because I feel like he would still like to have time with his partner and having a lot of kids would take away from that unless you can get a sitter or something

But I also feel like he wouldn’t want daycare or a babysitter or nanny

He wants to raise the kids together especially because you both work from home

Also having more than I think 3 for him would make it so he has no time to work on writing

And having only a couple would mean he can evenly give enough attention to the kids.

While for some people having a lot of kids is not a problem with attention and love I think Elliot knows that he’s the type of person that cannot be spread too thin.

Which isn’t a bad thing.

If you’re same sex he is not opposed to adoption

Would like to adopt twins though

Would prefer boy girl twins but obviously won’t throw a fit if it doesn’t work out that way

You’re adopting kids not a dog.

Penny

Easily at least 6

I don’t think she would have the most easy pregnancies

But she will make it look as if she’s the perfect housewife and that bearing children is a breeze for her

She loves kids and wants a big happy family especially because of her upbringing

So if you marry her expect her to want to have kids that are all at least a year apart in age

Doesn’t mind getting pregnant again as soon as you’re cleared for sex

I do think she would prefer to bear children instead of adopt but she’s not opposed to it

I could also see her becoming a foster mother at some point and taking in a bunch of children because she has an empty nest

If you’re the same sex she would probably want ivf

Like obviously this isn’t meant to be offensive and some people have different takes

But she also won’t like be upset that you have to adopt and she would make sure to adopt a BUNCH of children

Is a good mother and tries hard to spread her attention evenly.

You having a farm is great for this type of situation not gonna lie

Leah

To be VERY honest I see Leah as the kind of woman to be a single mom

Not because she gets divorced or her partner dies

It’s literally by choice only her and her kid in their cabin painting.

BUT OBVIOUSLY in this scenario she’s married to you

She would still only have 1 or 2 kids

I don’t think she would really enjoy being pregnant

Like she would like doing the pregnancy art things

But the state of being that she’s in is HORRIBLE she HATES IT

But she loves her kid so much that she’s like okay I can do it one more time.

Maru

Maru is either a one person kid or a 5 person kid tbh

And I do think that science people be lowkey freaky

So I do think she would have a lot of kids

Like somehow she’s always pregnant and everyone is like ?????? Another kid?????

And shes like YEAH I KNOW ISNT THE HUMAN BODY AMAZING????

Y’all’s kids are super smart ngl

Like you’re like???????wtf

Like even if you end up adopting they’re super smart and you’re like ????????? WTF HOW

Though they are still very interested in farming.

Somehow combines the two and creates a super farm

Like you make so much more money after having kids it’s insane.

Haley

Two or three kid woman

No matter how strong your genes are your kids will always have either blonde hair or blue eyes if not both.

Out of all the people having kids your kids with her would have the most normal names

She was a mean girl in high school she’s not setting up her kids for failure from the beginning

Unlike the others who would be on board with homeschooling if that’s what you wanted Haley wants the kids in public or private school.

Shes not much of a teacher and you’re always working on the farm so she wants them to have a good chance of being smart.

I think that y’all would have tons of baby books for the kids because she takes at least 10 pictures a day

Like there is no running out of embarrassing baby pictures your kids better behave lmao

Actually a good mom and ends up being one of those “I’m a cool mom right” women

But she’s actually kinda cool when she’s not making dated references.

Emily

One kid that is just as weird as she is

It doesn’t matter if the kid is adopted or not they behave just like her

But also I think she would go for adopting or fostering the more troubled children because they need love too

And I think she’s the perfect person to understand people on a different level than others.

A very sweet mother that is different than the other bachelor/ettes

Your kid turns out very happy, kind, and connected to the world

They might be a little weird like her

But are well liked by the people who find themselves misunderstood.

She would also be the type of person to run a foster home.

Abigail

I think Abby would like 2 kids.

I think she was very lonely as a kid

Especially with her father only focusing on his work and her mother hanging out with her but not really understanding her likes and hobbies

If she had a sibling there could be a chance that they won’t get along but she feels in her heart that they would’ve been close

So she would have two kids that are like maybe 2 years apart or 5 years apart

I don’t think she would enjoy being pregnant but she enjoys it more than she thought she would

Is not willing to go through giving birth again

So if you’re a person who could give birth if you want more than 2 kids then you’re giving birth

If you’re a person that can get others pregnant then you better plan for a surrogate or adoption because like I said she’s not going through that labor shit again

She is open to having more than 2 kids but like there’s other things that you have to do if you want them

Is a decent mom is kinda awkward with mothering but tries her best

[sokkastyles]

hello! i love your meta, and i think you routinely have the best takes on azula i've ever read - the way you are able to articulate the ability for a younger sibling to abuse their older sibling, how that's rooted in her father's abuse of both his children, how that doesn't change the fact that the character grows into one who becomes an abuser herself.

you have a quote from a while back where you say "I've been thinking about this a lot in terms of people saying they want to see Azula be "humanized," and what they usually mean is that they want to see her given redeeming qualities," and also pointed out the research on how abusers being given support from therapy often enables them into increased mistreatment.

as a person working through their own traumas re: abuse, do you have any insights on how to reconcile abusers in real life? you brought up Zuko asking Azula "why" - but the answer (i think) is simply that she wanted to. and i haven't figured out how to deal with that in my own history yet, much less how that would affect broader public policy issues around ~dealing with~ (for lack of a better term) abusers.

it's easy for me to be an abolitionist for non violent drug offenders. but i don't know how a better society would deal with my ex or my mom, for example. and i don't necessarily think locking them away is the answer... but i don't know what is

Hi, thank you for the compliment on my meta!

I'm afraid I cannot give you personal advice because I don't know you or your specific situation, and of course I am not saying that all abusers do not get better in therapy. But it is common for people who have learned that they can get what they want by manipulating others to learn how to manipulate better by learning what is expected of them and how to say the right things.

That's why it's generally not a good idea to try and fix an abusive person yourself or count on them to change first. A lot of abusers try and keep people dependent on them this way, because they know how to use your caring for them against you.

And yeah, one of the problems with the way people psychoanalyze Azula is that there is a hesitance to admit that she treated people badly because she wanted to, and she was rewarded for that behavior by her father and her mother's disapproval was not enough to combat that, until her friends and her brother started standing up to her and no longer allowing her to behave that way towards them, and she got to the point where her father was no longer rewarding her because she got too ambitious, as is inevitable when a child outgrows a parent who is enmeshed with them in that way.

I mean, of course Azula was abused, and of course there is the damage that happens when a child is raised the way Azula does. Even allowing that Azula did not bear the brunt of Ozai's abuse, just abusing Zuko in front of Azula is itself a form of abuse. It erodes Azula's sense of safety because she knows the same thing could happen to her if she's not good enough.

But a lot of people confuse that with the idea that Azula was forced to treat Zuko badly, which she absolutely was not forced to do. We don't ever see Ozai tell Azula that she's too good to play with Zuko or that she has to be mean to him. He teaches her how to treat Zuko through example, but the picture some people paint of an Azula who didn't really want to hurt her brother just isn't true. In fact, it's because of Ozai's example that Azula got such satisfaction out of hurting Zuko, because it made her feel good to be seen as better than Zuko in her father's eyes.

People don't like to engage with that aspect of Azula. They need to file off the edges to make her a sympathetic victim. Like you mentioned, there's this idea that she isn't "human" otherwise, even though her joy in Zuko's suffering is a very human emotion. And she does enjoy it.

People often talk about redemption arcs when they talk about this, but I'm gonna mention one of the most recent and well-loved corruption arcs in media, and pull a scene from Breaking Bad. One of the most famous scenes at the end of the show is when Skylar tells Walter that she doesn't want to hear any more excuses about how the things he did were because of the family. Walter's response is to interrupt her and say:

I did it for me. I did it because I liked it. And I was good at it.

It's one of the most evocative scenes primarily because it hurts to see Walter go down the path he goes down from the beginning to the end, but at no point is he anything other than tragically human. And finally, finally, we see him admit that nothing that he did was for the benefit of others.

Azula liked what she was doing. And she was very, very good at it. And she saw no reason to be unhappy about it until it wasn't working for her anymore. And even then, she blamed others for her unhappiness instead of acknowledging that they had a right to want to be treated better.

Note that I'm not saying Azula and Walter White are remotely similar as characters, and ATLA and Breaking Bad are very different stories in very different genres. But I bring up BB as an example because I see too many people claiming that the only interesting or human story worth telling is one where everyone gets redemption, and that idea can be harmful especially to people in real life who have been victimized who are struggling with the idea that they need to see the goodness in their abusers.

Anyway, I am sorry to hear about your personal experiences and although I cannot say what is best for you, I do hope you find peace and I want you to know that you have a right to that peace.

[yannaryartside]

I want Carmy to have a best friend.

Besides Sydney.

I have been trying to find this gif, but there is a moment in 2x08 when Carmy is talking to Sydney about where to buy some product. He mentioned, "Yeah, my buddy from high school, he is running an Ibero account," and I went: "bitch you lying. Weren't you a total loner in high school?" he probably just wanted to sound better than say, "yeah this guy I know from high school" maybe to pretend to be more "normal." There are multiple scenes that could be evidence of Carmen having not friends at all growing up, not closed ones anyway:

In 1x04, when Cicero is describing his friendship with Carmy's dad, Cicero says, "We had the same problems at the same age, so we had a lot to talk about," and Carmy says, "That sounds nice," like he had never had a person like that in his life. In 2x05, Carmy says, "You always had so many friends, I don't know, I really wanted that." There is a pause here, his eyes moving because it's a big confession, before trying to continue the conversation and saying, "Mickey had that," to top it all, he mentions in his monologue that he thought Mickey was his best friend. After all, Mickey is the one person who knew him best, despite how little Carmy knew about Mickey. Here is the thing: Carmy still doesn't have any friends. Richie is not a friend. He is more like an older brother, somebody that can scold him. They are not equals. Most of the figures in Carmy's life are authority figures/relatives.

You may argue that Sydney is his friend, and she is, but he hasn't referred to her as his "partner" (business) yet, and I think there may be something behind it. His trauma dumps on her; he shares a passion for cooking with her, but they are not there yet on the emotional stuff. I know they are going to star calling each other friend, or best friend, in future seasons as their relationship grows, but I do not want that responsibility to rely completely on Sydney's shoulder; she is going to be "his person," but I think it may be healthy for Carmy to get a friend that he can talk to besides her, maybe somebody that he can relate to in the things he cannot relate to Sydney. So he can get perspective on things, and find confidence in his value as a "friend" or learn to be a good friend to begin with, to trust deeply on someone. On that note, while consuming fiction, people get this feeling when they see a loner/isolated archetype fall in love with their best friend because he is the "only person who gets them," like some codependency stuff. This will not be the case for Syd and Carmy because he was attracted to her even before they started to connect.

I think Marcus and Carmy don't have that chemistry yet; if there was a chance of them becoming more friends than acquaintances, it would have shown already. This was one of the reasons I was excited to see the new staff, to see if Carmy could get a friend that way. I honestly want Sydney to get some friends too. We don't know much about the staff yet, and there is a position open since they fired that guy.

So here is my wish list: I want somebody Carmy can think of as an equal (not necessarily in the cooking world), but somebody of the same age and preferably with similar issues. Maybe somebody who has tragically lost a dear one or somebody who is in the program (not an addict, that probably would not work, but somebody from a family of addicts). And I want them to have similar interests, like fashion, art, and other stuff. This comes from a person who was really depressed in high school and only started to recognize my own destructive patterns when, one summer, I met my best friend, who was also very wounded and depressed. I had an abusive father, and her classmates harassed her. You see my point here. We held each other through some very dark times. I want that for Carmy, especially when his relationship with Richie (and maybe Sydney) is complicated in what could be arguably the darkest moment in Carmy's life. "The more people I cut out, the quieter my life got," I think he is going there again. That being said, can I suggest somebody? (this is totally a fanfic scenario that I am starting to write to fight writer's block, but here we go).

Listen to me, I know. You don't have to tell me to get over this man. I am currently re-reading Six of Crows as I do once a year.

But here is the idea of the fic. This is Nikola. He is from a russian family (politically persecuted refugees back in the '80s). Ten months before the time of the series, Nikola's father killed somebody in a liquor-induced rage, the victim being the man Nikola's mother was having an affair with. How did the father figure it out? Nikola told him, hoping they could divorce and his father could live with dignity. To make matters worse, Nikola is a lawyer, but after trying to represent his dad, he has a sense of guilt related to his profession, for reasons I explain on the fic. So he tries a new career trying to figure out who he is after this mess, running away from all ot it, and he decides to be a cook, he gets good at the quick stuff (a comi) and the first scene is Carmy hiring him personally (because he wanted to give Sydney a break). Nikola's nickname is "Fox," he is quiet for the most part, serious, and looks perpetually confused and amused by Richie and Fak's shenanigans. Carmy and Nikola start talking about the program for families of alchoholics, and because of Carmy, Nikola goes to his first meeting.

Let me know what you think.

[infinite-orangepeel]

a whumpy af steve harrington excerpt from ch. 1 of my soft dom eddie fic

aka this boy has a lot of unresolved trauma & eddie munson is going to help him heal

(the rest of the chapter that contains the actual smut will be linked below, i’m scared of tumblr shadow banning me again for posting the full thing in here)

TW: panic attacks, discussions of mental illness, suicidal ideation, vomiting/nausea (as symptom of panic attacks), disordered eating habits, ptsd, heavy themes, lots of emotions

★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★○★

It comes down to this. Steve Harrington doesn’t trust himself. Not anymore. Not since everything went to shit in The Upside Down and Max ended up on life support.

Honestly, he didn’t feel all that abnormal about it for the first few months. It was easier to ignore the magnitude of his problems when his friends were clearly struggling right alongside him. There was something about strength in numbers or a sense of community–being convinced he wasn’t the only one totally fucked up in the aftermath of the final battle.

Regardless, it kept him afloat for a while.

Robin often called in the middle of the night to vent about her own flashbacks and the nightmares they prompted. The two grew accustomed to seeking comfort on opposite ends of the telephone line, twisting the cords around their fingers and whispering “ me too, I have that one too,” as to not wake the monsters underneath their beds. Sometimes, it got so bad that the sun would rise and they’d still be trying to snap each other out of it. Yawning through the agony of another sleepless night and fixing themselves cups of black coffee to alleviate the ensuing exhaustion.

Lucas had shown up on his doorstep enough times that Steve finally had another key made. He was tired of coming home from work and seeing the boy sulking there out in the cold–grief written plainly all over his face. Steve handed him the key on a carabiner clip–so Lucas could comfortably carry it around on his belt loop–and assured him he was welcome day or night. Steve’s parents had moved out of town after the infamous Hawkins’ “earthquake,” so Steve was solely in charge of approving any and all guests at the Harrington household. Lucas, of course, was at the top of his list–he was family, they all were. As long as the boy agreed to let himself in, warm-up on the couch, and grab a snack from the pantry–he could come over any hour he needed. No more rotting outside with tears forming icicles on his cheeks. Steve wouldn’t have that.

El refused to leave her bedroom–holed up beneath a fort of blankets and wouldn’t speak to anyone for days on end–until Hopper called up the gang and they elected ‘Babysitter Steve’ to go handle it. He was the most qualified in their eyes, what with his protective older brother attitude, gentle approach, and dorky jokes. Sure enough, El didn’t banish him right off the bat–not like she had with some of the others–namely, Mike Wheeler. She let him get close without protest and when he hugged her, she fell apart against his chest–guilt pouring out of her at the fact that she hadn’t been able to save Max from Vecna. He brushed the knots out of her hair with cautious fingers and listened. She just needed someone to listen. That was all it took. By the end of the night, she was sandwiched in between him and Hopper on the well worn couch, openly laughing at the plot of Pretty in Pink.

Nancy wore a poker face for the most part, but she wasn’t completely immune to the lasting effects of trauma. She held it together in public, like the first lady at a brutal press conference–politely smiling and waving for the crowd. She’d made it her personal goal to distract the kids from what was really going on–with Max–back at the hospital. This manifested itself in her implementation of weekly game nights, arcade afternoons, and community service outings. Naturally, Steve attended more than a handful of these events–lending a helping hand to rangle the younger teens. It was only once the kids had been dropped off at their respective addresses that Nancy would let her artificial smile fall and tell Steve what was really on her mind. The loss, the fear, the worry. He’d hold her hand– platonically of course, it wasn’t like that anymore –across the center console of his BMW and nod along to the tune of her suffering. It was one he knew well, played on repeat.

Thus, Steve managed his own anxiety by keeping that of the others at bay. His role became narrowly defined as the one who would help you regulate your breathing through the course of a vicious panic attack, the one who was considered reliable in a world that had become anything but. It gave him a sense of purpose and a reason to keep moving forward. He couldn’t simply hide away in his oversized bedroom when he knew his friends were busy laying catatonic in theirs. So, day after day, he pulled himself up by his bootstraps, usually forgot to eat, chugged excessive amounts of caffeine, and set out to mend all of the broken wings but his very own two.

Eventually, there was healing. The ball started rolling around the time Max woke up. After four months of breathing tubes, IV’s, heavy medications, and machines keeping her alive–she opened her eyes one day and slowly began to inhabit her body again. Within a few weeks of round-the-clock physical therapy, solid foods, and monitored pain management–she was discharged from the ICU and returned home. Cane in hand, coke bottle glasses on the bridge of her nose, and slight gaps in memory–she wasn’t the same, but she was as close to it as she could be and that was all that mattered. She was breathing on her own accord–beautiful, steady inhales and exhales–that alone was a miracle in and of itself.

After Max settled back into her normal life, everyone else seemed to follow suit. Once the high school was fixed up by the hands of a devoted construction crew and summer came to a close, the kids started in on their sophomore year. Fall semester provided a new routine that included basketball practices, D&D campaigns (Will Byers quickly ascended to President of Hellfire Club in Eddie’s place), and tests to study for. On top of all that, somehow Steve was going to have to teach each of the little twerps how to drive, which absolutely terrified him. However, there was no way he was going to let anyone else instruct his kids on how to be safe behind the wheel. Yeah, no fucking way.

The Party finally had the opportunity to just be kids–for the first time in almost four years–and Steve was happy for them. Really, he was. Now, they could ride their bikes around the neighborhood–just for the heck of it, not because they were pedaling away from otherworldly monsters. They could waste time down by the lake and not have to search the murky waters for the dead body of their missing friend. They could be innocent and stupid and naive and not have to worry so much about the life altering consequences.

And, as happy as he was for them, Steve just couldn’t help but selfishly miss the era in which Lucas spent most nights on his couch–talking about nothing until the wee hours of the morning. The era in which El asked him to drive her to Family Video each Saturday–ready to pick out the next chick flick that would make Hopper groan. His schedule and his house suddenly felt a lot emptier without a bunch of rugrats calling upon their favorite babysitter. The silence often felt like it could swallow him whole. He hated it.

As for Nance and Robin, they had their own paths to explore–ones that unfortunately, didn’t directly involve Steve. That was okay, but it also wasn’t.

Nancy was reapplying to Emerson–early decision–and like everything else she did, she was hellbent on her college essays being absolutely perfect. She made the local library her second home as she wrote and edited and then edited some more. Steve knew there was not a chance in the world that Nancy Wheeler wasn’t going to be accepted to the school of her dreams and become an incredible journalist. She was destined for greatness. Always had been.

Robin landed herself a girlfriend and was so lovesick it hurt. Vickie quickly became the center of her universe. She had this insane gravitational pull on Steve’s best friend and he’d never seen anything like it. Robin looked like a whole new person, shining from the inside out. They did their best to include him in their plans on a regular basis, but Steve really didn’t want to burden them with his presence. Not that the girls ever made him feel that way. He was just a bit too aware of the fact that no couple looks forward to having a constant third-wheel, so he backed off when he could and lied about being busier than he was–acting like there was a laundry list of activities for him to attend to.

Truthfully, he spent most weekends alone in front of the T.V. or picking up extra shifts at the video store. Unsure of how he suddenly became the only one stuck in the past, haunted by creatures that no longer walked the Earth. It didn’t make sense. Why couldn’t he move on like everyone else? Max had been kissed by death and yet, she made it to school every day and somehow, still found the energy to ask Lucas to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Steve, on the other hand, had exited The Upside Down with minor injuries–practically, unscathed–but for some reason, he dry heaved into the toilet every morning and questioned his entire existence. Spitting up bile and wondering how long it would take before his heart jumped ship, too. He imagined it would only be a matter of time, before the center of his own being decided it was unwilling to marinate in the sad toxic wasteland any longer. Abandoning him and begging to be flushed down, along with the rest.

It’s definitely less than ideal to have some idiot ring your doorbell, when you’re right in the middle of balling your eyes out–facedown on the living room floor–and wondering why God or the universe or whatever the fuck just had to plop you down on this cursed planet in the first place.

It’s actually super embarrassing and kind of the stuff of his nightmares, but that’s exactly the position Steve Harrington finds himself in on a random Tuesday evening.

There’s nothing special about it. Just another day trying not to break apart at the seams, wasting the hours by choking on his unforgiving past. Nothing left to do, but wallow in self-hatred and stare at the popcorn ceiling.

In theory, he could just play dead and ignore the irritating chime of the bell, but on the off chance that it’s one of his friends or the pizza delivery guy has arrived early–he begrudgingly gets up and makes his way to the front door. Dizzy from standing up too fast on an empty stomach, he reaches out for the wall to steady his gait. Unable to find the motivation to clean up his appearance before wrapping his trembling fingers around the cold doorknob. Whoever it is, is just going to have to deal with the mess–just like Steve does every single day.

There’s no nice way to say it. Steve looks like shit. There’s dark circles ringing his sunken eyes that make him look like the kin of the local raccoons. The same ones that devour his uneaten groceries from the garbage cans each week. It’s a charitable donation–philanthropic even. He goes on a depression fueled hunger strike and his furry nocturnal neighbors get a feast fit for a king.

Due to his inability to nourish himself anymore, his cheeks have hallowed out, his muscles have shrunken down, and his once tan skin appears jaundiced–sickly yellow. There’s acrid bile drying on his cracked lips from the most recent upheaval of his guts. This time it was spurred on by the grotesque image of Vecna’s corpse-like face. It keeps popping up in his mind without warning, like one of those jack in the box clown toys–raking the sharp nails of nausea across the lining of his stomach.

He doesn’t immediately register who the person on the other side of the door is, which is laughable, because it wasn’t all that long ago that Steve carried the guy’s limp body out of an alternate dimension and gave him mouth to mouth. They’re not exactly strangers.

Thirty seconds go by before his brain starts back up and processes the identity of the man standing before him. As if the secretary of his memory had disappeared from the front desk and took a while searching the filing cabinets to fill in the blanks:

Mr. Harrington? Sorry about the delay. We’ve located the files. That’s Eddie Munson you’re looking at. We’re sure of it.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were-” Steve starts, roughly wiping at his bloodshot eyes to make sure he’s not hallucinating. Anything is possible when you’ve lived through what he has.

“-in hiding?” Eddie says nonchalantly, leaning against the porch–he’s taller than Steve remembers, “I was. Spent a lot of time bored as shit in a rather crappy hotel room, but Hopper gave me the all clear yesterday and I just moved back into my Uncle’s place. Sorry if I stink, it’s because I’ve been carting boxes around all day–you’ll have to get over it.”

[devondespresso]

hi today we're thinking about Dustins parental (figures) trauma (because i love him)

like Dustin now has experienced 4 different instances of an older brother figure running into danger to protect him and every time said older brother figure got more and more injured

the first day Dustin meets Steve, Steve leaves the bus with the demodogs to be bait and comes back a bit shaken and with a couple scratches but basically unharmed. hes doing this to protect all the kids but at this point he's known Dustin the longest (maybe an hour or so more but still they had actual conversations in that hour)

then they're at the Byers and Steve fights B*lly for Lucas (and Max i think because he was officially there to take her home) and we hear the kids screaming at B*lly, specifically we hear Dustin scream "you're gonna kill him" and Steve very obviously has a concussion afterwards

then theres season 3. Steve and Robin hold the door while Dustin and Erica escape through vents and when they meet up again both teenagers are drugged and Steve has a black eye, bloody nose, and a split lip and is covered in blood and sweat and thats just what you can see (he mentions ears ringing, difficulty breathing and feeling like his eye is going to fall out, all of which probably comes up later off-screen because hes doing a lot of strenuous activity for someone in his condition)

and then Eddie. Eddie who was asked by Steve to look out for him and Eddie who made sure Dustin got through the portal safely before risking his own safety to help the team. Eddie who so far in canon (duffers please bring him back) died in Dustins arms and kept a smile on his face in his excruciating death to try and ease the blow it'd have on him

and even if you write aus where Eddie does live he's frequently in the hospital for several months or in a coma

now Dustins a child, he's in middle school during all of steves sacrifices and in his freshman year of highschool for Eddie's. He doesn't have a present father and while his mother is very loving she's not the most emotionally stable

and when you think about it, Dustin doesn't really have any parental figure that is 100% stable for him to rely on

His mother gets very stressed and panics a lot (which is fair because shes a presumably single working mom and joyce is in a similar situation but regardless it does put stress on their kids), and we see Dustin immediately stepping up to comfort his mom when their cat Mews is "missing" despite having to see and clean up his cats dead body alone from out of his bedroom

Steve is a relatively emotionally stable figure for him with lots of confident advice and its confirmed that Steves a very safe person for him to go to with both upside down and normal problems

but Steve has gotten hurt A Lot and often times the responsibility of taking care of him falls on Dustin (and I'd go as far as to say Dustin takes on this role himself based on how hes used to taking care of his mom). Dustins the one holding an ice pack to Steve's head when he wakes up in B*llys car and he's mostly the one looking after Steve and Robin while they're drugged. Steve is emotionally safe, but Dustin does have to worry about his safety pretty often (he so easily could've died in season 3 just from repeated head injuries alone)

Then with Eddie its clear Dustin looks up to him as a role model of this cool guy who doesn't care what others think of him, but then Eddie gets involved with the upside down. they meet in the boathouse we see Dustin immediately stepping up to calm him down and help him work through the upside down trauma (and to protect Steve who's once again in physical danger) (and then Eddie dies later so hes not really stable in either aspect rip)

So aside from the upside down trauma having the kids have to grow up too fast and having their childhoods taken away (and this definitely applies to all the kids and teens but we're talking about dusty today), Dustins a character that is consistently looking for a stable parental figure and consistently loosing the stability he finds in them. Which leads him to have to step up, shelf his own emotions, and be a source of stability for his parental figures instead.

i know its wishful thinking at best to hope for a comedic character to have their trauma properly addressed in this show, but id really like to see Dustin struggling with some of this

he probably feels responsible for a lot of shit that happened especially to Steve and Eddie because he was there to witness their injuries and they both got injured to protect him

maybe he struggles talking about certain things with steve despite him remaining emotionally safe because his experiences with comforting his mom and Eddie makes him assume thats normal. maybe hes afraid hes going to wake up one day and Steve will be dead.

maybe he puts himself down the same path steves on now, not his highschool jock path but the self-sacrificing hero path. maybe the party will be in some sort of trouble with no adults around and he'll put himself between the party and the danger because he feels responsible for making sure they're ok.

we've already seen he feels the need to mediate conflict with his friends (mike and lucas's fight in season 1 and asking eddie to postpone hellfire on lucas's behalf) and that he admires Steve's hero stunts (fighting the demodogs in season 2 Dustin says hes awesome when max comments hes insane)

i just want to see people talk about Dustins relationship with responsibility and the lack of stability in his life. i also grew up being The Responsible Friend in my friend group and its fucking exhausting. I just want my guy to get a break, maybe some assurance that Steves not going to fucking die and maybe a moment where he can just let go of tge stress hes holding onto (i don't know tbh if i knew how to fix this feeling i wouldn't need therapy lol)

[invisiblegarters]

Thank you! I think this is a case of people poor meowing Ray to the point of thinking he has no bad bone in his body and he is a victim of everyone around him. It's super bizarre to witness.

Nothing is his fault and if it is, he didn't mean it, and if he did, it's the alcohol talking!

I have also seen some bizarre takes on Top and especially Boston, making them seem innocent and just honest without malice and I think it comes from people not wanting the promiscuous characters to be bad people because that would be perpetuating stereotypes.

Anyway, it's been truly a ride to witness haha.

To me it's not that bizarre, really. It's very easy to see Ray's penchant for self-destruction, his trauma and his depression and his bone deep belief that he is an unlovable burden, and just want to see him get better. That's a perfectly valid response to someone in as much pain as Ray is. Because he is in pain. The fact that he is doing a lot of it to himself doesn't really matter, either. That is one dude who is suffering, and I too would like to see him grow and start to make some headway into loving himself.

The part where I get tripped up is the expectation that any of these messed up 20 somethings is any more capable of dealing with Ray than Ray is of dealing with himself. They're all young, they are all selfish and self-absorbed and none of them is equipped for the kind of problems Ray has. Hell, a lot of much older people aren't equipped for it.

But we're all prone to favorite character syndrome - a lot of the reason I was so annoyed was seeing all the hot takes about Sand, lol. I feel like he's *really* gonna get it in the teeth from fandom when it turns out that he can't actually save Ray with the power of his love (and that even if he could, Ray doesn't want him to because he's fixated on Mew as the savior) and walks for his own good (at least, I hope that's how it goes). So I'm not immune to it either. Sand is my ride or die and I expect to be excusing (or if not excusing, defending, and if not defending, flat out encouraging) many of his wrongs still to come.

Also if I'm truly honest, I too want to see at least one person stick by Ray through it all, even if they can't be his savior. I just don't want it to be Sand (that's my bias at work, lol).

As for the others, I haven't seen too many hot takes that aren't "these two are the worst most vile villains" so I can't really speak to that. I enjoy both of them, especially Boston. And I seem to be more sympathetic to Top than a lot of people, although I don't know how true that is - I can't see everything that goes by, nor do I want to, lol. Especially not stuff that would just rile me up.

I do like that Boston tends to use honesty as a weapon. It's my favorite thing about him. It's also kind of what makes him so damn effective at doing what he does - he gives truth, but in a way that it almost always cuts.

And to be fair, as far as I can tell most of the hottest takes aren't from here, which I like. I feel like places like twitter tend to be more black and white thinking - good guys and bad guys, villains and heroes. While it can always change, I tend to see a lot more nuance here - it's why it's pretty much the only social media I have, lol.

[izzysarchivedblogs]

greer nelson. blog canon. please read.

OKAY. SO. Given my deep love of Greer Nelson aka Tigra; and having gone through all of her original appearances (re-reading west coast avengers at the moment); I want to draw back in some themes and give a distinct setting and idea for where her character is at with Marvel. This will be vastly headcanon, but it is my canon as Marvel ain't gonna give it to us.

If you read her original stuff with her as Tigra, before she gets put into Avengers; she's a were-woman, now she still will follow what her canon rules on transformation and in terms of her soul (wca agin) that holds true. She started out facing down supernatural creatures, encountering monsters; one of her first spotlights as tigra was in marvel chillers. tigra is a character tied to mystics lore of marvel universe. i need to find the panel, i think it's in new avengers, where dr. strange looks at all potential sorcerer supremes, and tigra is one of them (of many).

i write william as a secondary muse; since he is attached to me writing her mama, greer, and a major part of her character

PLEASE GIVE THIS LIKE IF YOU VIEW AND PLEASE VIEW. It is important to my blog canon, but I threw this under a cut cause it got long.

anyways, i want to bring back some of that older themes seen in greer's stories back into her canon. so here's what is what.

Remember Greer's apartment from New Avengers (2005) (click) -> well, to pull Tigra back into the mysticism of Marvel; her original New York apartment before he was forced to move, was a place to which she preserved Cat People artifacts (both Earthborn and the Land Within Cat People) as well as held onto other magical/mystical items. She also had personal effects of Dr. Joanne Tumolo, Professor Leon, and other Cat People who have passed on. -> After she had been assaulted and had to move on orders from the Initiative; her apartment was raided and all items stolen from her. -> Present day, she is looking to find these items and return them to hers to preserve; on the fact that some have historical and cultural value to the Cat People (especially consider most earthborn cat people are gone), as well as items being magical and thus, needed to be kept somewhere safe

GREER, MAGIC, AND MYSTIC AWARENESS -> While you could not go to Greer and ask her to cast a spell like Dr Strange, Wanda, or Loki. She still has strong senses when it comes to mystics and magic, about to smell magic cast, and has quite a bit of understanding due to her over the years accepting herself as Tigra, the Cat People's mighty protector and mystical warrior. She can use magical artifacts, after all her amulet is illusion magic that allows her to appear human again, and she has ideas that allow her to open the doors to The Land Within, to which she has a sense of direction towards where those are. She can tap into magic on specific occasions, and with training could possible even do spell work; as being Tigra, she is in tune with the mystic arts. She will still turn you over to Wanda or Dr. Strange or others who deal in the mystic arts, since she is still more warrior than magician.

HER BABY'S DADDY -> Holding true to comic canon, Greer does not inform her son or anyone/most people in general the truth about William's parentage. She upholds to the lie that Hank Pym is William's true father, and in a way that is true; he does share genetic makeup to Hank Pym. She will speak fond of Hank, though knowing his shortcomings and problems, because of her son. She refuses to give name or power to the truth; some of that comes from Greer not resolving her own trauma, but greatly comes from wanting to give her son something good to grow up on.

RAISING WILLIAM -> Given that her son is not human, and her own experiences with how people can treat Cat People? Curious, perhaps well-intentioned people reaching out to grab her tail, touch her fur, say something that was vaguely offensive, ask questions because she's not human, doesn't hide her power or who she is. Given her own experience, and know how overwhelming that can be on herself, and knowing how she reacts to a given situation say being grabbed (lashed out with claws), or snapping a no and being adult able to say no; she doesn't want that on her son, knows how children could be and does not trust other parent to teach their kids not to see her son has an object, a pet, a toy despite being a kid like them, their friend. William is homeschooled, because the options for non-human kids that aren't "mutants" and can't hide their non-humaness isn't the best.

SO HOMESCHOOL -> this means that a majority of Greer's time is spent with her son, gathering schooling materials and teaching him; now she does enlist a lot of her super friends, or people she can trust to watch him to give herself time to work or time away, as well as even "jokingly" enlisting friend to be "substitute" teachers, or help him do homeschool work he has laid out. Given that she has chose to take this route for her son's education, so that he can be fully accommodated to his needs and safe from people who don't respect a non-human's boundaries. This can leave her quite frazzled.

MIDNIGHT MISSION -> Following Moon Knight (2022) quite closely, with one addition to this; as she stated was sent by the Avengers (T'Challa) to keep an eye on Moon Knight, but does fully flip on that and simply finds herself involved in MK's work. She does consider herself to work with the Midnight Mission and for Moon Knight to some degree; helping out any of those who seek out the Midnight Mission and its services. She does this as a good friend to Marc, as well as because she does simply want to help people in need.

MIDNIGHT MISSION 2 -> Given that that the House of Shadows is presently inhabiting/tied to the Midnight Mission; Greer is very aware of the House's presence and power, given her mystic attunement, Greer does communicate to the House, mostly speaking kindly to it and thanking it for what it does; doing this in part so that the HoS treats her kindly, lets her in, and may in the future want to continue help and defend her, Moon Knight, and company.

INDEPENDENT WORK -> While the best way to contact Greer is through the Midnight Mission and that is where you would find her and meet her, if hiring her out (paid work; sorry, but the half-avengers pension is not as big as you think and she's a single mom) normally she will be met there, or around the area of the Midnight Mission. Greer does some independent work; typically her services tie to tracking people or objects down, finding lost and missing things, things that don't want to be found, as well various other related services to her using her senses. She has taken a few odder jobs like bounty hunting, but it's never with intent to kill. For the right price, she can do more within reasons.

MONSTER HUNTING -> Bringing back her monster genre themes, Greer would be an ideal for taking on hunting down monsters and cryptids; she's the survival, predator, and hunter instincts to track down and take down. She tends to be drawn to by mystic instinct and attracts monsters as well. Greer can and will take them down; again hired/paid service.

AVENGER? -> If a crisis arose and her number was called, than she would come but otherwise Midnight Mission is as much team work as Greer does. She's a single mom first as well, but she is not opposed to being an Avenger again; and still keeps in touch. After all, she had originally been spying for them.

Verse dependent, but I will occasionally run with Marc being Greer's boyfriend again as the new Moon Knight establishes. Anyways, these are somethings to keep in mind when writing with present day / present canon as well as my portrayal of Greer in general.

[woodsfae]

I have so many WIPs right now....here's the ones I've been working on the most lately. Which one would you be most excited to see posted?* Expanded descriptions of fics posted below the poll!

*I make no promises about which fic will be posted first, or indeed, at all.

Mr Darcy wakes up the morning after his wedding and is astonished to discover that it is now, inexplicably, the day before he promised to join Bingley at his new estate, Netherfield. He soon decides that, as long as he is forced to relive this part of his life, he may as well woo Elizabeth Bennet without all the bumps in the road they had to overcome. But despite his best efforts, he only seems to offend Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Mrs Bennet has hyperemesis gravidarum and so Mr Bennet is forced by circumstances to take a more active role in his older daughters' lives. Raised as an only child who loathed going away to school and took solace in his books, his idea of appropriate child rearing is a largely based on how he would have liked to be raised balanced against how much he can tolerate piping, toddler voices invading his study.

Due to a few, small shifts, Elizabeth decides to take a chance on behalf of her family and accepts Mr Darcy's first proposal. The road to love isn't any less bumpy, but the bumps are mostly different.

asioaf: it might be easier to list what hasn't been changed. The Changes Themselves are kick-started by a series of visions that come upon everyone living in the year that Aerys burns Rickard and Brandon Stark. Multi-PoV. The main PoV is meant to follow Lyarra Snow, bastard of Lord Eddard Stark. My main complaints which I am fixing include: lazy worldbuilding (winters, crops); G.R.R. Martin's obnoxious Hobbesian philosphy; G.R.R. Martin's obnoxious sexism (fewer Moms are dead in my version!); and more! Elia lives. This is already long as fuuuuuuuck and would probably take the longest for me to start posting.

In a world with retrocausality, a small change in the Original Trilogies timeline reverberates up and down history, resulting in a Mandalorian Jedi Ben Mereel meeting seven year old Anakin Skywalker on Tattooine.

When Anakin Skywalker follows his visions to Tattooine to prevent his mother's death, he gets caught in a sandstorm which spits him out twenty years earlier. Due to the Force being Insistent, he remains on Tattooine and starts several revolutions.

A sort of self insert goes to sleep by a Big Rock while out backpacking and wakes up by a recognizable Portal Stone in the middle of the Caralain Grass. Shenanigans ensue.

Why does Perrin have the trauma and reflexes of an American Vietnam War veteran? What would happen if some of the characters talked to each other a little more frequently with slightly fewer assumptions? Did you hate how branders*n flattened every structural problem into a shallow issue to be fixed with a better leader? Me too! This will likely take at least a year before I start posting.

[sasukeless]

while i do think part of late stage naruto writing was just to wrap things up, sasuke completely forgiving itachi really just shows that he will always be the little brother. i mean not just logically lol like the personality, the little brother that looks up to his big brother and looks up to him and looks to him for guidance, regardless of how right or wrong it is. like yes sasuke was gonna attack konoha when its the opposite of what itachi wanted, but in the end its still influenced by his feelings for itachi (non rom. obviously). itachi can do whatever he wants or thinks he has to do and sasuke will forgive him. meanwhile you have itachi who also will always see sasuke as the little brother, emphasis on little, controlling him and what he does, up to the very end, never seeing sasuke as a grown person that can make his own decisions or even considering why sasuke does what he does, always clouded by his unquestioning loyalty to konoha. i think ironically people calling him a genius really fucked with his intelligence since he always thinks hes in the right (planning on brainwashing his own baby brother??).

i think it would be super interesting to see a what-if scenario where itachi survives post-war and continues this. probably not to the same degree but you cannot tell me he would just suddenly go 'ok sasuke i trust you know whats right for you:)' there is just no fucking way. and sasuke having the time and space to actually think about how his big brother is not right, not just pushing it aside to blow konoha up in grief and anger. like actually getting to work these things out and. idk where im going with this. feel free to reply publicly

u really read my mind like to me itachi the worst case of Older Sister u will ever see but sasuke also is the worst case of little sister when u actually stop to think it through because he reallyyyy would forgive itachi for all and i cant say that doesnt makes sense. im a middle child but for the longest time i was the little sister and i know whats being on the spot of forgiving the worst things from my sister does even when i KNOW i wouldnt forgive that from anyone else (not to trauma dump here but i was literally outed by my own sister to my parents horribly and even if its one of my worst memories like Ever. i really forgave her the second she did it). like of course in sasuke and itachi’s case is soooo far worse and their power dynamic is so much more messed up but it makes complete sense to me i cant lie about that. and also i find their relationship one of the most compelling things in the manga along with sns because of that. its horrible but god if its not gut-wrenching. sasuke will ALWAYS deserve better in my eyes but his love for itachi is so so big and unfortunately for him itachi also loves him the same his problem is that his way of loving sasuke is soooo bad, that in the end even if its sad to see sasuke losing his brother a second time itachi dying is the Best outcome for both cus had he kept living his way to love sasuke would just have continued to mess with sasuke’s life. Like youre so rightt had itachi survived post war he wouldve NOT been suddenly become the best brother thats just not how he ever was w sasuke, even if he didnt saw it he wouldve kept trying to make sasuke follow the life path he puts for him, but also like u said i think w itachi alive and sasuke himself growing up he wouldve also on his own began to put his foot down too to itachi Worst Older Sister syndrome. because the thing about grief is that when u lose someone you love you dont want to think of the bad memories so it makes sense after itachi’s death sasuke refuses to think badly of him even if he has all the reasons, and keeps him STILL on that pedestal of older brother and its insane but like i said. i get it

[meatballlady]

Aziraphale

(Vague spoilers ahead)

I'm feeling a lot of big emotions right now. Personally, I see myself in Aziraphale. I immediately related to him. I think there are a lot of queer people with religious trauma out there that do.

My problem is that my personal timeline doesn't line up with when Good Omens has been airing (dramatic pouty face). For all intents and purposes, I feel as though I have made it to the other side in my journey. I'm not sure I'd say I've "healed" or "gotten over my trauma" or whatnot. The older you get, the more you realize that life is just learning to live with yourself more and more. Endings are only for stories - which is a good thing (there is always more to add to your own)

The point here is that, no matter how precious he is to me, it HURTS to see Aziraphale still burdened with all of it.

Season 1 left me bereft. To me, in terms of Aziraphale's journey, it had barely begun. To me, s1 had this sense of Aziraphale only just realizing that what he's always "known" to be the way of the world wasn't the way it needed to be. He knew he was happy with Crowley, but, because of repression, I don't think he truly let himself connect the dots until very late in the game. Yes, he loved Crowley, but it was Wrong with a capital W. Yes, he was belittled and hurt by superiors, but that's just the way things Are.

It's impossible to escape, right? No, not even that, because that would imply that escape even exists. No, his starting point is that life is painful, love is conditional, and he has to hoard happiness, in secret, by the skin of his teeth.

S1 is barely a happy ending. It's the realization that, however improbable, an escape could exist. Happiness is real, what he's been feeling is possible, and that with time, maybe they could figure out a way forward.

After S1, he still struggles with this, massively. Maybe Crowley does love him, but surely it's not because that's normal or allowed - it's just the exception to the rule. And maybe Crowley loves him now, but that's only because Aziraphale hasn't fucked up yet. Maybe they really can live on Earth, but their superiors can still drop by and bother them on a whim.

He's not nearly far enough from his abuse yet.

S2 happens in the span of a week.

It's so painful for me to see this part of his journey. I know what comes next. I've been there. It's trying to contextualize a new worldview with the structure of the old one. It's coming to terms with the fact that the one thing (people) that you tied your own worth to is the same one that's destroying you. It's the self flagellation from participating in the system when you were just trying to do the right thing.

I think S3 will be filled with a ton of (delicious) pining on Aziraphale's side.

He hurt Crowley. Many times. Crowley understands, and still loves him, and wants to work through it, but does Aziraphale know that? I doubt it. I think he'll expect it to be black and white. "I fucked up and now I need to atone." "I need to earn back your love, and I'll suffer if that's what you need." etc.

The blinders are off. No more being in denial (well probably some denial, actually, in the beginning at least). Actively choosing Crowley instead of passively letting Crowley choose him. Discovering his worth. Letting himself choose happiness and defend it. Learning to say no to Heaven. Coming to terms with having supported a damaging system while still having been a victim himself. Moving forward from his trauma. Moving forward, away from his abuse. Moving forward, with Crowley, as equals, as lovers, truly on the same page and on the same side.

So, to recap:

S1: Realizing healing is a possibility that exists

S2: Trying to cut the system off, but it's still poisoning you from the inside

S3: Actually pulling the large, painful, infected splinter out, painfully. With a big dose of pain. (At least this time it's good pain and not Good pain)

I love you, Aziraphale, and I hope you know that you are worthy and loved. It's okay to be who you are, no strings attached, no conditions. It's okay to love and be loved in return, no strings attached, no conditions. Good luck. I can't wait to see you on the other side.

[ginaluvr]

thoughts after rereading lies

this is the weakest book in the series imo simply because the antagonist situation wasn’t set up well. the orsay/nerezza/mary problem was not developed enough for it to be the big endgame moment - while the human crew conflict was actually more engaging

astrid was set up badly in this book. i don’t love how she handled everything , but her catching so much blame while sam walks away unscathed reflects such careless writing. i still empathise with her now. i still like her

the timeline is so confusing! how did we get to 7 months into the FAYZ???

it’s heartwarming and so sad at the same time reading the part about dekka, edilio, howard, orc & jack being the only ones to contain the fire. they worked so hard, they deserve the world

leading on from that, howard’s breakdown and edilio supporting him is probably my favorite scene in this book. trauma changes and bonds people. and howard has never been as above it as people think

i love that astrid thinks dekka would be sam’s ideal type if she wasn’t a lesbian

brianna’s age/the age gap between her and dekka is so lost on me. MG was not great with continuity so i assume that when he made brianna 11 years old in book 1, he hadn’t developed either of their characters enough yet to decide that dekka was in love with her. but from then onwards we can only assume they have a roughly 2 year age gap? that brianna is 12 through the rest of the series and dekka is 14? which isn’t so bad, but regardless, it’s all a bit confusing. brianna is made out to be a lot more confident and smart than a freshly 12 year old, it gives me retconned energy. like maybe MG just decided she was a year older after book 1. idk

dekka ending the human crew and saving the kids all while bleeding because she was shot is crazy, she is so wonderful and such a hero. i love that in this book she really starts to be recognised that way

drake/brittney always just bothers me i’ve never liked this plot line

sanjit and his little family just feel to me personally like a nice breather from all the gloom

the minimal amount of caine being awful and evil to diana in this book only being because they are this close to starving to death…. deep sigh

i like that for the first time, diana is recognised for her goodness on the island. everyone in town thinks she is evil and no deeper than that (for fair reasons i guess) but sanjit sees the goodness in her. and she officially decides she cannot go along with caine’s evil anymore. that’s all she really does in this book but it’s important in its own way i guess

mary’s ending is so tragic and there’s not much more to say about that

i love hunter he is so sweet

dekka may be technically guilty of first degree murder after this book but i forgive her for being a lesbian and being cool

[nagichi-boop]

All the trauma Raz has been through (and needs therapy for)

I’ve decided to make a list of traumatic experiences Raz has gone thru. And I will provably be forgetting something because he’s been through a lot.

I’ll have subheadings for each game, so if you wanna avoid spoilers, just don’t read the subheading for that game.

As a reminder, please bear in mine that Raz is only 10 years old when all of this happens.

Psychonauts

• His father denied a part of Raz (his psychic powers) and caused him to initially hide his powers from his father, assuming that his father hated psychics.

• His father talked down on Raz’s interest in his powers and the Psychonauts, going so far as to rip up one of his comics.

• Running away at a young age and having to fend for himself for who knows how long.

• Experiencing strange things within his mind as a result of Coach Oleander’s tampering.

• Single-handedly working to return the brains of his friends/fellow campers.

• Being trapped underwater for a period of time, bringing him frightening close to his fear of water.

• Going through multiple people’s minds to help them with their problems, including seeing some of their repressed memories.

• Once again being single-handedly responsible for fighting Oleander and stopping him from taking over the world.

• Losing his brain and having his psyche interconnected with Oleander’s.

• The entire world of the Meat Circus.

Having his already bad memories (his words) morphed with Oleander’s, turning it into a grotesque meat circus.

Having to protect young Oleander from monsters and his own father.

Having the image of his father being verbally abusive while taunting Raz, including exploiting his fear of water.

Note: You can tell he was freaked out by this because when his psyche was beginning to be separated from Oleander’s, his father had to comfort him because he was panicking about meat.

But wait, there more!

Psychonauts: Rhombus of Ruin

• Being relied on to locate the other Psychonauts and snap them out of the influence of Psilirium.

• Being strapped to a chair at the behest of Loboto, who he already knows as the one responsible for helping Oleander steal brains, seemingly on his own.

• Having to go into Loboto’s mind and help him through his childhood trauma, discovering that his parents made him get a lobotomy because his psychic powers were interpreted by them as a threat.

• Thinking he was being abandoned when everyone left in the ship out of the Rhombus of Ruin and would have been blown up with the Charlie Psycho Delta.

Honestly there’s not a lot here but I wanted to include it anyways because these things likely add up in Raz’s mind.

Psychonauts 2

• After disappointedly being ‘demoted’ to a Psychonauts intern rather than a full fledged member, he is immediately hazed by his older fellow interns, who continue to act coldly towards him for the majority of the game.

Note: This situation isn’t helped by Sasha, who figures out what happened to Raz (despite Raz making up a story about why he’s in his underwear), decides to tell Raz that the other interns hazing him is normal and that he shouldn’t worry about it instead of holding them accountable for what they did to him.

• He finds Nick Johnson, his mentor, brainless in a box meant for Truman Zanotto.

• Being pressured to mess with Forsythe’s mental connections, being scapegoated by the other students and having to resolve the issue on his own, taking all of the blame on his own.

Note: Yes, what he did was wrong and he needed to be told that, but I think it’s unfair that the other interns weren’t punished because they didn’t come forward. I assume Raz didn’t rat them out because he’s had a history of being ignored - his family refusing to acknowledge his and their psychic powers, being ignored by Sasha and Milla when he was trying to tell them what Oleander was up to at the camp, being sidelined in the fight against Oleander because he’s a kid and ignoring his concerns over his brain being missing, etc. (Which by the way, that last one may have contributed to him having his psyche intertwined with Oleander’s because had Sasha and Milla properly listened to him, they possibly could have dodged his tank’s attack and helped him to defeat him and stopped Raz from becoming brainless.)

• “Truman” tells Raz to piece together Ford’s mind without telling anyone, which also involved helping Ford reconcile with his trauma, but also the other members of the Psychic 6 (Compton, Cassie, Helmut and Bob).

• Raz’s family spontaneously shows up at the Motherlobe, embarrassing Raz by not only making a spectacle and throwing him around while commenting on his body, but also by his mother being standoffish towards Forsythe, someone that Raz looks up to as being a Psychonaut agent.

• His mother’s way of speaking to and about Raz.

Saying that she forgives Raz for leaving instead of acknowledging why he left.

Referring to him as the “family runaway” and othering him from the family.

Guilting Raz into helping his brother, Dion, by very casually saying that he’s had extra work to do since he “abandoned [his] family and broke [their] hearts”.

Asking Raz for suggestions on the Devil’s Firehose trick and then shutting down every single one without any sort of gratitude for his willingness to contribute. This also include aggressively interrupting him when he suggests using psychic flourishes, telling him that if he finishes the sentence it’ll kill her.

Punished Raz’s curiosity about the curse by saying that it will crush his father to hear them talk it’s about it. (Which btw also undermines Augustus because she’s assuming things on his behalf rather than letting him assert his own boundaries).

Finishing their conversation in the Questionable Area by saying that every time Raz lies it takes a day off of her life, basically using fear to control him.

Note: If you’re confused about all this, I suggest watching Dr Mick’s reaction to the conversation in the Questionable Area. The time stamp is 7:15 to 25:10. (Yes, he has a lot to talk about with this conversation.)

• Dion saying that the family is better off without Raz in it and being generally verbally aggressive towards him.

• Ford informs Raz that both of his grandparents died in a Grulovian protest by the hands of Maligula and that the woman Raz has been led to believe is his grandmother is actually Lucrecia, his grandmother’s sister and Lucrecia’s persona Maligula was buried deep inside her mind.

• He also learns that Ford’s decision to do this involved burying his father’s traumatic memories and forcing him to not only believe that Lucrecia was Marona, but also instilled the idea of the Aquato family curse in order to prevent Maligula from returning.

• When in Gristol’s mind, he is referred to as being a easy to manipulate and shown as being a puppet, which may have internally made Raz feel guilty as he was the one who believes Gristol was Truman and followed his plans to put Ford’s fragments together, which in turn led him to awaken Maligula.

• Having to go up against Maligula without having time to properly process everything that he has been shown and told about her.

• Despite having to solve so many major issues in his own and helping so many people with their problems, no one seems to really check in on him to make sure that he is okay. It doesn’t help that Raz has subconsciously learned through his family and mentors that his opinions aren’t valuable (see point about his mother dismissing his suggestions for the Devil’s Firehose) and problems aren’t worth dealing with (see Sasha dismissing Raz being hazed as common practice instead of holding his peers accountable for their actions).

• Whatever the hell that cutscene was in Forsythe’s mind in the post game. (If you know, you know.)

And that’s all I can think of right now. Even then, I am probably missing out things. Raz has sadly been through a lot.

[autisticethanmorgan]

How I would continue mbav in comic form

disney, teletoon, fresh tv, whoever the fuck owns the rights to this, please let me have them

LONG ASS POST WARNING

we are past the days of any further mbav television content, but you know what has a much lower production cost and would fill a specific niche? a comic/graphic novel continuation >:) Teen rating because pretty much anyone who was the target audience of mbav when it was airing is late teen or older and I want the characters actions to have more consequence, basically i want to injure my protagonists

I would pick up a month or two after the lucifractor explosion, establish the new status quo, we cant really do a continuation if they all died so Ill settle for injury and property damage, including putting out main man Ethan in a half magic/half head trauma induced coma! this is kind of a cheap story beat but i cant help it I love a coma and its a good opportunity for both sarah and benny to get a little bit darker and have some interesting character development, with the most important difference being that sarah basically gets through it and refuses to compromise her morals whereas benny is very lost without ethan being his moral compass and becomes more and more reckless with magic, eventually leading to him attempting a very risky spell to wake ethan up which does work but basically has sarah and his grandma like 'wtf is wrong with you'

meanwhile erica and rory are fucking around in the states bc this would be a very fun B plot for a while before they return, if youve read the comic crowded im thinking of that kind of vibe

so anyway ethan is back up and running now and everyone is kind of trying to get back to normal but its really hard and theres a lot of residual magic causing problems and making bennys magic more powerful, and its giving ethan basically constant migranes and really vague visions and horrifying dreams and all that good 'plauged with visions' stuff.

sarah and ethan have not gone on any more dates at this point so theyre not dating but they do have this kind of romantic aspect of their relationship and they basically havent talked about it since the explosion, kind of a silent understanding of like 'i love you and i dont really care that its platonic or romantic but i just understand whats happening in a way almost no one else can and Im here for you even if now just isnt the time for us'

benny is continuing to get more reckless and kind of vengeful with his magic use, testing his limits, using magic to get back and the people making snide comments in the halls, especially after ethan comes back to school, when your best friend is in a coma for two months you get kind of defensive about it I guess. If you’re not a bethan truther I’m sorry but Ethan can have two intense friendships that border on romantic, both of which are societally non conventional/acceptable. In fact he has to. It is so good narratively. but anyway at some point there is a particularly bad incident benny gets more vindictive than ever before and hurts this guy pretty badly till ethan is yelling at him to stop

at this point ethan and sarah and grandma are like 'uhhh benny is getting kinda intense' but they dont even know the half of it because secretly he learning magic that isnt in his book, researching on his own and making stuff up. the magic itself wants him to be getting stronger, its not like sentient but it does have kind of a self preservation instinct? like a power begets power type thing that magic users can very easily be driven mad by their own magic if theyre not careful or dont have another magic user telling them to touch grass.

i think benny can have unexamined mental repercussions due to his parents having either left him or died. as a treat. so when he get magic and suddenly he can control things he couldnt before yknow who can blame him for getting kind of lost, i personally would become insane. I havent really though about the specific of him devolving and mentally deteriorating. I dont want him to be too evil yknow? bc we will be letting him get redeemed latr bc im a sucker for that.

at this point erica and rory return from their wacky adventures bc this is no time for a silly b plot. and they are like huh benny got kind of weird and different and ethan is like haha no hes fine

he is not fine

he is actually sneaking out of town to meet another magic user who is basically like 'i will act like a father figure to gain your trust' and benny is like 'epic!' yknow because he. becuase. because he has no dad :D. he gets exposed to magic that grandma doesnt do and is both scared and impressed and this other magic user is like 'she doesnt want you to learn this >:| she doesnt want you to reach your fullest potential' and benny is like 'hmm idk about that' but they keep talking until this guy is like 'arent you tired of being nice?dont you just wanna go apeshit?' but benny is still like 'hmmm my really close boy best friend probably wouldnt like that' but its too late. its already in motion.

benny gets more evil. he is causing problems in whitechapel and does not seem to care. benny be like 'thought acquired: if i control everything and destroy the things i dont like then everything will be good and i can protect my friends forever. i see no moral problems with this' more development into evil, dont ask me the details i dont know.

bennys evil girl summer culminates in some kind of fight where ethan enters his mind bc yeah obviosly thats where this has been going, idk if ive just spent to long thinking about jean grey and scott summers but this is the most interesting thing ever. i want to see ethan walking through bennys memories end of life is strange style and realizing that all of his most important memories are of them together, times that theyve comforted or protected each other and it ends with a memory of from just before they met sarah. that memory fades out and ethan is standing on the street in front of his house, so he goes up to his room and benny is there but this time its really him and not just a memory version of him and benny is like 'i dont know how it got to be like this, this isnt what i wanted, how do i fix this?' and ethan is like 'i havent given up on you, you can still come back and we can try to make it right' and they hug and they come back to reality and benny basically breaks down sobbing yeah i <3 sad boys. he has a lot of regrets. ( i have written a lot of this scene bc i am insane and obsessed)

by the next morning hes left town. only leaving a note saying he needs to go away and clear the magic out of his head. hes reversed as much of the magic he did as he could, and left ethan with a spell leaving the words 'semper reveniam ad te' on his arm that will disappear when they see each other again or if benny dies.

[modern-inheritance]

Modern Inheritance Picrews (pt. 1): OG Elf Squad

I was recently tagged on my main blog to make OCs with this picrew and ended up making a few of the MIC versions of Inheritance characters, or at least as close as I can get. I enjoyed the process, and since I can't really draw all that well I thought I'd make more and post them here with some short descriptions of the character appearances as they are in MIC. I used Photoshop and Illustrator to make some edits (Glen's being the roughest) to try and get closer to what I had in mind.

Up first! The OG elf squad!

Fäolin

A handful of years older than Arya at the time of his death, Fäolin was quite young by elf standards, and somehow managed to look both the most human and the most alien of his companions. His eyes, frequently altered to even further increase his darkvision and distance vision for sniping, were always somewhat oblong at the pupils and were a striking green-and-gold hazel. Unlike other elves, Fäolin chose to attempt growing some facial hair through magic, and altered his hair color from the typical black seen in many elves to a rich chestnut worn short at the sides with a tufted ponytail. He was playful and lighthearted, always smiling slightly even during missions, and loved to gently tease his friends. A dark orange and yellow tattoo of a coiled Fanghur decorated his left shoulder, a symbolic gesture of solidarity with his mate, Arya, as well as a nod to the nickname of 'Wind Viper' that some of the Varden gave him after years of sniping high up above the battlefield with frightening accuracy, as though his targets were frozen in place as the Fanghur froze their prey with mental attacks.

Glenwing (Glen)

(I attempted to superimpose a rough aprox of his prosthetic over one of the hands but uh...it sure is an attempt.)

Glenwing, or Glen as most know him, is around 20 years Arya and Fäolin's senior. Born to a healer and a warrior in Ilirea before the Fall, he was old enough to have decent memories of the battles that took place and the effects it had on those around him. After the final battle saw his parents slain, the young elfling dedicated himself to learning healing arts of both body and mind while training to eventually fight back. With his father's bright silver hair tied back and his mother's deep golden eyes, Glen typically looks serene and thoughtful, each movement and word given the time it deserves. This not to say, however, that he is any less deadly than his companions, nor that he does not hold the peculiar wild, near feral energy that Arya so frequently displays. Glenwing knows every way to kill you, and could do so, unarmed and without magic, with incredible accuracy and efficiency. His training to heal gives him insight into biology of elves, dwarves and humans, to the point that he can identify weaknesses and target them on the fly during battle. This makes close quarters combat his forte, and he prefers crossing blades and bare handed fighting to long distance, which lead to the scar across his cheek during a battle with Forsworn-trained soldiers.

During the ambush that set the events of the main story in motion, Glenwing was catastrophically injured and lost his left arm just above the elbow. After months of rehabilitation and work with Rhunön he gained use of a prosthetic made of a combination of low quality brightsteel scrap, aramid weave, and spidersilk plate that moves with him as though it were his own flesh. It still requires constant maintenance and care, something Arya takes over when they return to the field together, and he has his own problems with phantom pain and the trauma associated with not only the loss but his near fifty years of constant war. Due to his time away from it all, though, and his own training in mental health counseling and psychology, Glen has a better grasp on managing his symptoms of PTSD than most. He still has weekly nightmares, often waking up feeling as though his body is on fire and his arm is being crushed, but he manages his sleep cycles and religiously practices the self care he needs to make his life easier and have the energy needed to help others consistently. Despite all the pain, though, Glen would be the first to say he would not trade it for the world. He is doing what he loves, making a difference in the fight, and doing it all next to one of his best friends.

Arya

The scruffiest and scrappiest elf currently walking the lands of Alagaësia, Arya's the young commander of her now only two person squad (including herself) of special forces commandos originally set to protect Eragon, Saphira and Brom. After seventy years of combat, war and politics, Arya's given up on adhering to elvish tradition of prim, proper and put-together in favor of living life in a warzone for the sake of Alagaësia's free peoples. Scars are earned and frequently left unhealed unless life threatening, dirt is considered free camouflage, and having five minutes of calm to tame whatever's come loose from hairbands is a luxury. Brom has told her to invest in a headband, but she keeps losing them.

With Islanzadi's pitch black hair and Evandar's emerald eyes, Arya is fairly striking when you can get her to stay still long enough. A wild, near feral energy roils under her skin and shows itself with bared tooth smiles full of mischief, and full of the naturally sharp teeth most elves sang away in their early years. The scar through her eyebrow is a reminder of a fight long since passed, but the fresh nick on her jaw, scar matted wrists and back, are all badges of pride for what she endured in Gil'ead. There are plenty other scars, but most are concealed by the elf's ever present combat jacket.

PTSD is something the entire squad dealt with before the ambush, but after Gil'ead Arya has taken a particularly hard hit to her mental health. Sleep can come, but it doesn't stay easy, and Arya typically goes two or three nights without more than a handful of hours of sleep. Elves can easily survive on four hours a night, and while six hours every three days can be livable, sleep debt builds up over time. She staves it off through meditation, but Glenwing has been pushing her to reestablish a proper cycle as they both know putting off sleep just intensifies the nightmares and Recall that frequently wake her up. It's a difficult pattern to establish, though, and every other month typically sees Arya with dark rings around her eyes until she relents to Glenwing and sleeps a solid night through with the aid of magic and a hell of a lot of talk therapy afterwards.

Arya's behavior and appearance, though in some ways distinctly elven, falls in the middle of human and elf. Called a mongrel by some of the more...brash...elven youth, Arya honestly couldn't care less, though she draws the line at disrespect towards her comrades and fallen brothers and sisters in arms, no matter their race. Even though her actions no longer serve just the elves, Arya's proud of her service. She's proud to stand beside Glen again and properly take on the role of Eragon and Saphira's bodyguard, even if they sometimes don't quite need it.