#And was the reason Five spent so much time in the apocalypse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mrsparrasblog · 6 months

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Mission save the human race Pt1.

Pt2

2090 Days since it happened since your life changed completely. You can still remember the day of the outburst like it was yesterday. You were stuck performing an appendectomy on a five-year-old, and then there were shots – the military evacuating us. You didn't take it seriously at that time; thought it would be like every pandemic, and there would be a cure soon. But after weeks spent with your family in a military camp, you knew it was nothing like this. You remembered how the military shot women who even got near to a zombie – too much of a risk that they could get infected. The irony of the whole thing was that women were the carriers of this unknown virus, while men only turned when they got bitten. Women turned by a simple scratch of a zombie, or when they died of any cause, they would turn in a glimpse of a second into these brainless creatures.

After it went completely downhill and more healthy people got shot without any remorse, your dad, brother, and you tried to flee out of the military base, resulting in your dad and brother getting shot, screaming you should just take their gun and leave as fast as possible. You never felt more remorse than leaving their corpses behind, but you had more than enough years to mourn them and pray for forgiveness. On the way to a safe place, you noticed small details, weird details. You got scratched, even bitten on the way, expecting to fully turn into a brainless monster – but you didn't, and to this date, you didn't know why. Well, there wouldn't be a lab anymore to find out anyway, so you just accepted it as a blessing first. But after a while, you learned the true curse of living in this shithole.

The survivors were scarier than the zombies and almost as inhuman as them – while most didn't try to hurt you since a surgeon always could get handsy in a zombie apocalypse, you still saw the horrors of self-proclaimed "Leaders" who killed in the most inhumane way just to prove their dominance. They weren't better than animals. You saw how different groups tried to start wars with each other to win resources and territory. There was still enough place and enough resources in the world for both of them to survive, so it was just a power play. If you had had a say in this, you would have tried everything to start a civilization with many people trying to rebuild humanity with strong people as guards, people farming, and people working in the infirmary, but no one ever listened to you. Why should they, as the Apocalypse proceeded, the hatred of women got only worse – "The reason for the apocalypse," resulting in women getting used, tortured, and raped if they weren't useful in other ways, and you thanked every day your mother who practically forced you to study medicine instead of law.

After months, you finally had enough and ran away from the camp – not tolerating the inhumane ways. You wondered if you were the inhuman one for leaving people there who you could have healed if you had stayed, but sometimes you needed to be egoistical, and you at least tried to stay as innocent as possible through the apocalypse. You lost everything but not your good heart which made you incredibly proud of yourself.

You didn't know how you survived this. You didn't have a particular skill set; sure, you were a pediatric surgeon before all of this, you were capable, you were smart, which probably led you to survive. But you weren't something that was of use like a soldier or police officer. God, before this Apocalypse, you didn't even carry your groceries to your apartment. You were screwed but somehow you still survived, with your one handgun that you nicked off the corpse of your dead dad. The irony was you didn't even use it in three years; you never used your gun – god, did you even know how to use it? You highly doubted it.

You claimed yourself a small cottage in the forest. It wasn't much but pretty well-hidden, and you built-in safety measurements so no walker could surprise you by night. You lived in a shithole but at least in a comfortable manner. The house had three small bedrooms, a kitchen with a tiled stove, a fireplace, a water source, and enough space outside so you could grow all sorts of vegetables and fruits. Pumpkins, potatoes, cucumbers, tomatoes, strawberries, and raspberries highlight your perfect garden. You even had some apple and cherry trees you took great pride in. Before all started, you couldn't say you were good at gardening; even your cactus didn't survive the neglect you put them through – but you used all your remaining time learning about farming and providing for yourself, growing plants you can use as medication. In your imagination, you would somehow manage to have some chickens and cows, but you knew it would draw way too much attention, and you liked your hidden lifestyle way too much for this to happen. You were quite naive; you thought this would stay this way until-.

You heard sounds from your garden – nothing unusual since some local animals came and tried to steal a carrot or two, but then the sounds of multiple men echoed.

"Fuck."

They blundered in weird ways, talking about finding a safe place and raiding something. You ran upstairs, grabbed your handgun, and hid in the closet.

"Fuck, here isn't anything useful," a man with a hoarse voice and a British accent cursed all my cabins violently.

"Johnny, you will get through this; you won't die on me," a man said with a worried voice.

"He has a fucking bullet in his shoulder; how can he fucking survive this?" A bullet in his shoulder, probably not gone through. If it didn't hit anything major, his survival rate would be 80% in a normal world, depending on the material of the bullet; he could survive or die. If it's lead and stays inside his body, he will be dead in at least 4 days from lead poisoning. If the wound isn't properly cleaned – blood poisoning. If they take it out of him and don't properly sew him – death. This man hasn't a high chance of surviving. You could at least triple the chance of his survival, but if you get out there, you would probably lose the chance of survival by several digits. Your morale was high; you swore an oath to help every human you were capable of saving, but was it worth more than your own life?

"Shut the fuck up," the worried man screamed at the other.

You decided to stay in the closet, a choice you'd later regret, your lack of courage weighing on you as survival seemed uncertain. Tears slowly started to fall from your eyes, running against your soft rosy cheeks. Your handgun was clutched tightly in your sweaty palms, your breath trembling from pure horror, convinced that today might be your last.

With a sudden grunt, the closet door swung open. Before you stood four imposing men, each holding big machine guns, and a fifth man, held by another, similarly armed.

In front of you was a middle-aged man with brown hair, a fishing hat atop his head, and the most amazing blue eyes you had ever seen. He was tall and muscular, with a well-groomed beard for an apocalypse. Handsome and scary simultaneously.

The second man was one of the most attractive individuals you'd ever laid eyes on. He had brown-golden skin, trusting brown eyes, and a cap perched on his head. His gaze held a mix of awe and confusion as he looked at you.

The third man was colossal, ripped with muscles, and possibly the tallest person you'd encountered. He sported a blonde buzz cut and blue eyes that glowed red, giving him an intimidating aura. With an unhealed scar across his eyes and some stubles, he probably was incapable of growing a beard because of the scar tissue.

The fourth man looked similar to the one with the fishing hat; the only difference was his dirty blonde hair and tattoo sleeves. You noticed the prosthetic leg and wondered whether it had been dealt with properly – you sure as hell could help him too.

The last one was the man who got shot, and held by the scary men. He was the shortest of the group but still taller than you by several inches. His hair was in a funny mohawk, and he was ripped – not a bit; he was built like a fucking powerhouse. You couldn't shake the thought away that if you had known him through med school, learning anatomy would have been different – all those muscles – focus.

You thought that your potential killers were all good-looking, each in different ways. Despite this, you still pointed your gun at them, and they held their machine guns at you.

"A woman – I thought they were all dead," the man with the cap said, making you curious. All dead? When you last left your forest two years ago, there weren't many women, but there were still some out there.

You gathered all your remaining courage, shaking as you said, "Leave me alone, or I shoot." They laughed at you. Okay, they had more people and bigger guns, but you could still harm at least one of them.

"Oh, dove, your gun is still secured," the man with the fishing hat said, trying to hold out a laugh.

You tried to fidget with your gun, but you didn't know how to unsecure it. So, you just lowered it and held your hands up in the air.

"We don't have time for this shit. Knock her out or something; we need to fucking save Johnny," the scary man said, sending shivers down your spine out of fear.

"If you don't kill me, I'll save your friend." Win-win situation; you'll survive, and your morals are saved.

"Shut the fuck up. How could a stupid girl who can't even use a gun save him?" the scary man screamed. You were sure that he had a special bond with this Johnny, sure as hell best friends or lovers by how he acted.

"I'm a surgeon; I can remove the bullet," you said.

"You're a surgeon?" the tattoo man asked in disbelief at your claim.

"Which field?" the scary man asked you.

"Uhm, I was a pediatric surgeon."

"Does he look like a fucking child to you?"

"Simon, we don't have much choice. It's better than nothing; he will die if we don't do anything," Fisher hat man tried to convince Simon.

Simon agreed. "What do you need?"

You were afraid to be a bit rusty, but you'll make it. "Okay, one of you will bring me as much water as he can gather, one needs to guard the door. I don't need any interruptions in my surgery. One needs to stay in the room; this will hurt as hell without proper numbing. My surgical equipment is in the closet by the bathroom, as well as the medication I produced. You need to tie him to the bed; I don't know how, and I don't care, as long as he doesn't try to kill me while I try to fix his shoulder, and I need a promise that I won't be killed if he doesn't survive."

"Yes, ma'am," the tattoo guy said and was on his way. All the men worked efficiently, making you wonder if they had some military background since they listened better than my old residents, at least.

The man who introduced himself as Kyle - by the way, the only one who introduced himself to you - tied Johnny to the bed. Everything was now prepared, and you tried to make this place as sterile as possible.

You sat down on Johnny since you couldn't stand properly by the bed for the surgery and had the advantage of holding him down with your body weight.

"Hey Johnny, this will hurt a bit, okay, but you need to be strong, okay?" You talked to him like with your child patients, but that didn't matter right now. Right now, it mattered to save him.

Johnny spoke completely drowsy from the pain, "Am I deid, Lt? Or how come dae I see an angel oan tap o' me?" You chuckled; even in pain, you noticed that that man was a total flirt.

"Shut up, Johnny, and survive," Simon said.

"Love ya, Lt."

"I love you too, idiot." You were right in your thoughts; they were indeed a couple and a handsome one. You couldn't shake the feeling away, though, that he probably would kill you in the most vicious way if Johnny didn't survive.

You slid your scalpel through him and started the surgery after at least six terrible hours of fear and exhaustion; you were finished; you saved him. You were a bit envious of Johnny; Simon stayed the whole time by his side without being grossed out or yawning for a second; they loved each other. You never experienced that kind of love and never will...

Now he only needs to survive the aftermath of the surgery, which will be harder for his body than the actual surgery since the adrenaline wore off. You were glad that you were able to nick some antibiotics and real medication from a nearby emergency station. You were always better safe than sorry.

You removed the blood from yourself and washed yourself with cold water, which felt like an eternity till you pronounced yourself clean enough. You put on some cozy clothing and walked to the living room where three men sat sandwiched on the small couch. Simon stayed by Johnny.

You planted yourself across from them and looked at them until Fisher Man Hat spoke.

"Thank you for saving our man; I'm John, by the way."

"Alex."

"Well, you already know my name; how can we call you?" Kyle asked you.

"Uhm, everyone always called me Dr. Angel, since the kiddies compared me to one," you replied, telling them the truth.

"Beautiful nickname for a beautiful woman," John said.

You couldn't hide a blush, and Kyle asked you how it came that you lived alone. You explained your life story without boring them for one second.

"Tell me something about the six of you."

"Uhm, we were special forces back in the days before everything went downhill. We protected some scientists who worked on a cure, but they didn't make it and died in one of their experiments. We are originally seven, but the other two are on a raid right now for our camp. I know we probably scare you, but if you want to, you can stay with us, no strings attached. We know how humanity changed, and being the only woman alive makes it even scarier, but we will protect you since you saved one of our own," John explained. You were still confused, only woman alive? How is this possible? Well, you were immune to the virus, but you didn't need to tell them right now since this would make you even more vulnerable.

"Only woman alive?"

"Yes, dove, the woman's got instinct with them, the human race." You gulped; your moral codex spoke to you again. Shouldn't you prevent that from happening? Or is this nature's plan? You didn't want to think about it further.

"Does anyone of you want to eat something? I'm starving," you exclaimed, trying to change the subject to something less uncomfortable.

"You don't have to feed us; you already did enough," Kyle said.

"Nonsense! I'm hungry, and I have more than enough vegetables to feed a whole army," you protested and walked towards your kitchen. You took out the preserved tomatoes and potatoes and wanted to slice them, but a tall figure already removed your knife from your hands.

"Let me help; it's the least thing I can do after you did so much for us," Alex said and started to slice the vegetables while you tried to heat your pot. The other two put plates on your small kitchen table, making it feel incredibly domestic for you. They looked like husbands caring for their wives, and you wanted to shake out the thoughts in your head. You were just underfucked from the whole apocalypse, but deep down, you knew they did something to you, made you feel a tight knot in your stomach.

You took one portion up to Simon, who still gathered around Johnny's bed. With a sudden movement, the tall man hugged you tight, almost crushing you with his sheer strength.

"Thank you for saving him and sorry for being mean to you."

"I understand; I'd do the same if someone I dearly loved would be injured in this hell of a life," he tried to pull a smile at my words. "Here's some hot food, and give Johnny his antibiotics in an hour, okay?"

"Hot food? I haven't had that since forever."

I laughed, "Get used to it, big boy." He raised a brow but didn't question it.

You went downstairs and saw the men laughing while waiting for you like true gentlemen. Kyle blushed a bit when you came down, and they instantly stopped their talk. You asked yourself what they talked about, maybe something that would be dangerous. They ate like starved men and told you how long they didn't have anything warm in their bellies, making you realize how lucky you were in your cottage with your grown food. The only thing you were missing was someone to warm your bed—stop it, you said to your inner thoughts.

You gave the remaining boys some blankets and showed them enough places to sleep, and as they didn't mind sharing, everything went perfectly. Alex took the patrol for the night, telling you it needed to be done even if you never patrolled for the last two years. The other men called you naive for it. You checked one time on Johnny if he had a fever or anything like that, but to your luck, he was fine, still asleep and high on medication. Simon slept beside him, and you couldn't stop yourself from putting a blanket on top of him. He deserved the comfort after taking care of his boyfriend that way.

John walked you down to your room, talking a bit to you, which gave you more comfort than you wanted to admit. You were a human after all, and humans missed humans when they lived two years in isolation to survive.

"Did you ever think about what it means for you to be the only woman alive?" he asked you.

"It's pretty weird to think about it."

"Kinda."

"I guess the human race will go extinct then."

"There are ways if you decide to—you know, save the planet and everything. You seem like a girl who always wants to do the right thing."

"You mean getting pregnant?"

"Exactly, saving the human race and everything."

"Would it be selfish if I let it die?"

"A bit, but it's your choice. I will always protect you from everyone who wants to take advantage of you. You're part of the team now."

"And what if I decide to want to save it?"

His eyes lit up. "Then, of course, I'd support you, like every man on this team. I think most of my boys wouldn't be repulsed by helping you to reach this goal." You blushed hard. Did he just tell you—shit.

"And what about you, John?"

"I'd be more than willing to participate. You're incredibly looking, dove, and I'm just a man behind all this."

"I'll think about it," but you couldn't shake away the feeling of them—you could have all of them.

"Take your time, dove." He kissed you on your rosy cheek and left you completely crazy alone with your thoughts. It was too long ago, and you felt the familiar feeling building up inside of you. Fuck it, you thought and decided to speak with them about it tomorrow. You're a good person after all, right? And that's what a good person does?

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 1 year

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Uselessly Protected | Yandere Black Butler

Zombie Apocalypse AU

The howling sounds of the undead groaning rang through your ears as you adjusted the strap of your backpack. Letting your hand hover over the pocket knife you had hidden, you were acutely aware that you weren’t supposed to have it. But you found that impossibly unreasonable for the state the world was in.

“Birdie? What are you lookin’ o’er there for?”

The light voice of Finny calls your attention to him. Bright-eyed and no longer adjusting the grip of his bat, he’s searching your face for some indication of your drifting attention. You smile at him, shaking your head at your odd behavior hopefully silencing any worry. For Finny it's enough as he waits for you to walk ahead of him down the shadowed path to the vehicle. You move forward, eyes trained on the light illuminating the exit of the alleyway. Slow to leave, you scan your surroundings before darting across the street to the bus your troupe had begun calling home. Knocking a tune from childhood, the bus doors swing open revealing Elizabeth, dressed in the bloodiest, pink zombie armor ever, in the driver's seat.

“Hiya (Y/n)! Finny! How was the run?”

“It was great, Miss!”

You let yourself inside immediately dropping the backpack to the ground, relieving yourself of the hefty load. Hovering over your catch with sweat dripping down your face accompanied by the ache of your back relaxing it, you enviously watched the blond still at the entrance of the bus. Completely unphased by the weight of his backpack, which was already five times bigger than the one you had, he was still joyously conversing with the girl. You always thought his unbelievable strength would be generally unideal in a modern world but with the era of the infected starting anew, he was an asset through and through. Not to mention he was a sweet boy, a little clingy but that word doesn’t mean much since you’ve joined your troupe.

Your troupe weren’t some randos you collected over time, the majority of them were the people you spent your hours working with. Maintaining the mansion, catering to the heir who lived in it, and raising the prodigy to be a decent person. It was a part-time job, miraculously handed to you after you returned the missing prodigy at a young age. A glorified babysitter–that’s what your peers called you; laughing about your gig when you told them what you do. Their jeers weren’t all that bad especially when you could wave your fat paycheck in their face. The Phantomhive family was more influential than one would think, with connections spreading across the criminal world all the way to the English Monarchy. The point is this was a position beyond any average citizen, which meant striving to put your best foot forward at all times if only for your own safety.

This is the only reason why you found yourself in the Phantomhive manor the day the world ended. It didn’t matter that you tried to leave and failed. Those in the manor did not want you to leave so you didn’t. They were a different breed, something made clear by all their reactions to the world turning on its head.

“It was good…that department store is starting to have less and less.” You spoke to the blonde as you unloaded your pack, already missing the discouraged look on her face.

“B-but you shouldn’t worry Miss! Sebastian and the Master are already working to find a new place!”

“Oh…good.”

You appreciated Finny’s attempt to lift her spirits but you feared it was all in vain. When you were allowed to go on trips you could easily distinguish the severe lack of supplies it had originally been the hub for. You suspected another, larger group had found it and weren’t afraid to ransack the place. If that were the case, it could mean there were others who’d be willing to help survive. Others to pull their affection from you.

Having unpacked your bag and finished tying down the supplies in their rightful place, you plop on one of the seats designated as your bed. Nuzzling into the planklike surface of the old bus seat. You tried to ignore the thought of the millions that had previously sat on this nearly months before.

“Why y’all lookin’ so glum?”

“Bard!”

Finny cheered, launching himself into the chest of the cook. Returning the hug the two would begin to excitedly recount the number of zombies they offed. A game they started when they went on supply runs together. Not long after Mey-Rin followed suit, too busy stumbling over the stairs of the bus to speak properly.

“We oughta make an official tally for ya, yes we should!”

“If we did, everyone would see how I’m sweepin’ the floor with ya!”

“That’s not true, it's not! I’m doing better than yous, I did!”

You hummed to yourself almost relaxed by their familiar squabbling, you let your eyes close. Listening to the steps going deeper into the bus before attempting to lightly tap away, you figured they must have figured you were trying to sleep.

So sweet. You almost felt bad tricking them.

“Feeling relaxed, (Y/n)?”

Your eyes snapped open to Sebastian Michaelis who was leaning over you with a knowing smirk. Settling your beating heart with a hand over it, you sat up. Straightening out your position as his red eyes seemed to follow you.

“S-seb, you scared me!”

“How was your run today? Successful and uneventful I hope.” “Yeah, it was okay…”

You trailed off as you crossed your arms over your chest. It was normal for him to probe like this, even before the zombie apocalypse. He’d always catch you alone with this intense look in his eyes that had you demanding all of what he wanted. In a gross way, it was hypnotic. Others who have had the misfortune pleasure of coming across your co-worker would fondly recall his crimson gaze. You could do no such thing.

Especially when it was attached to someone who obviously saw himself as more than you. Challenging your authority, in the guise of being a mere colleague. And of course, as the senior in the workplace, you expected that but not in life in general.

“Reporting Sebastian! It was all clear! Not a single scratch!” Finny explained with a not-a-mock salute, smiling wider as the butler smiled at him.

“Good.” He leaned in closer to you bringing his voice lower. “So why do you need that pocket knife?”

You had half a mind to curse him right then and there but the others were already turned away from you to focus on something else. No use bringing their nonsensical input. You held your ground tucking the folded weapon under you as a deterrent.

“Why not? The world’s going crazy and I have a right to want to protect myself.”

He looked at you like you were stupid.

“Don’t you remember we said that we’d protect you? It’s an insult to our capabilities for you to hold on to something so useless.”

“Be insulted. I’m not who you guys are hired to protect, not to mention there’s no doubt going to be more…stressed scavengers looking for food. With the Department store running low, this weapon may very well save my life.”

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed at you initiating a silent bout of wills. You held his gaze while keeping a hand on your pocket knife. Knowing him, it wouldn’t be hard to distract you while he swiped it from underneath.

He stopped, tilting his head to the side, closing his eyes in a tight-lipped smile.

“Fine then. For now, you can keep it with you. But the moment we leave this area you’ll be relieving it from your possession.”

With that, he stepped away no doubt to help the on-comers who followed or more accurately clung to the young noble. Soma, a prince who happened to be in the area, was quickly ascending the bus steps hand-in-hand with Ciel. It isn’t long before Agni follows suit, waiting until the both of them were on the bus before shutting the door close, using the snipe to look out the window.

“Come on Ciel! I’ll have to show you all my latest finds. Oh hi (Y/n)!”

“Hi, Soma.”

Ciel went to say something only to be pulled away deeper into the bus. Occupying the cot and pulling back the curtain Sebastian had arranged for him Soma happily dumped the contents of his bag on Ciel’s caught. You turned away stifling your laughter as you could see the red overtaking his cheeks.

You instead watched the way Agni and Sebastian sent speculative glares to something or more likely someone outside. Groping the pocket knife in your hand you hoped you wouldn’t have to use it.

Everyone began to settle down with the falling of the sun, having eaten and barricading the bus’ entryways. You still seemed to have trouble settling down, mostly on the account that Agni and Sebastian were both active.

It was normal for Sebastian to roam at night, he did it often on your overnight stays. Surely, it's been heightened because of the Zombie apocalypse, which demanded his presence be known. This begs the question was he purposely not making himself known before. Agni mirrored him fully tense and prepared to fight in what should have been the safety of the bus.

You were tired but not that tired.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

They didn’t bother turning to you, completely well aware of your creeping steps over the sleeping troupe. Agni spoke first.

“Many of us have been followed by this fellow for a while. My guess is that he’s a scavenger.”

You looked out the window they hadn’t blocked, failing to find whoever he was speaking of. But this was Agni, he’d never lie over something like that.

“Why not rest (Y/n)? We’ll handle them should they attempt to move forward.”

You glared at him or at his silhouette annunciated by his eyes which weren’t looking at you. He was doing it again. This undermining is an overprotective suggestion he’d do before steering you into a corner. A useless corner for the useless au pair.

“Why can’t you trust me, Sebastian?”

His gaze shifts to you, fully focused on you.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Why do you keep pushing me out of the way like I’m not an adult myself? I’m not Ciel, in fact, I help you care for him so why do you act like I’m so helpless all the time?”

You could visualize the smile that was spreading across his face.

“I think you misunderstand my intentions towards you.”

“Am I?”

“You equate my care for you to be on par with that of Ciel.”

“Right?”

“I won’t shy from it, I care for you on an intensely different level (Y/n). Which naturally has me prioritizing your safety, can’t I have that luxury?”

“Not in a Zombie apocalypse you can’t…”

You stole a look at Agni who looked incredibly uncomfortable like a family friend in a couple’s spat. Sighing you turned to Sebastian’s silhouette putting a hand on his back.

“Just believe in me some more okay?... And maybe I’ll appreciate your efforts a bit more.”

With a light pat to the back, you walked over to the ammunition corner taking to doing general upkeep on the arsenal.

Thankfully in the darkness of your shelter, you didn’t have to witness the fumes of obsession spiraling off the butler.

It’s nice to be heard every once in a while.

_____________________________________________________

“Hello peasants, we’ve come to make a proposition for all of you!”

“Who let this idiot into the bus!?”

That was a good question. The blonde noble you only recognized from the various competitions Ciel was meant to attend, was making the declaration while standing on the seats. Ciel was clenching his fists, turning a dangerous shade of red as everyone spoke their piece.

“Well hello there, you look around master’s age, you do!”

“Oh my goodness there’s three of them and they all look the same!”

“No, we’re not.”

“A little bit kinda.”

“Not at all you’re wacked in the head.”

Sebastian was glaring intensely at the boy’s butler, while his maid was smiling at an on-guard Agni. It was an odd dynamic to wake up to. Something that wasn’t solitary to living with them during a Zombie apocalypse,

“You guys let’s all settle down and talk this through.” You gestured to the outside where the streams of the undead limped about. “Which sure beats alerting them.”

“Ahh (Y/n)! You’re still alive! Always so cool! C’mon Claude let’s sit next to them!”

Darting across everyone he was hugging you clinging to your arm as he chose a place to sit, no doubt worsening Ciel’s mood. In direct competition, Ciel took to your otherside slyly slipping his hand into yours.

“Ahem, (Y/n) is right we should attempt to peacefully discuss your intrusion.”

“Intrusion!? How rude! (Y/n) we were in danger and had nowhere else to go!”

“Don’t cling to them like that!”

You sent a look to Sebastian eager to usher everyone into a calmer state. Hopefully you could end this without bloodying your hands.

[Continue?]

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puc-puggy · 1 month

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s4 sucked, but Five wasn't out of character aside from the lila romance.[1] what he is is a broken old man finally showing the cracks. everybody wants to treat 5 like a snarky 14 year old brat, but he is NOT. that man is OLD. he has lived through over 60 hard years. he's a brat because he is an old, incredibly intelligent theoretical physicist stuck in the body of a 14 year old, and the body of the 14 year old encourages everyone to forget he is a nearly 70 year old theoretical physicist.

this Five spent 45 years in the aftermath of viktor's moon apocalypse, 28 days straight between the moon and nuclear war apocalypse, days to weeks in the kugelblitz apocalypse and then days in oblivion. 6 years to rest and then it's time for another apocalypse caused by alien elements that reshape reality. this five personally saved and ended the world at least 5 times, going the farthest out of all of the Fives in number of apocalypses and by attempting to create the Commission. [2] this five says over and over and over throughout s3 that it's not about you/us, it's about the world. five is not just tired, he's tried harder and for longer than anyone else. he tried for so long that he forgot his own name. he has lost delores, he lost his sense of a clear enemy, he lost his understanding of the universe and his place in it, and he is old now.

when he is told by his future self not to save the world and he decided not to go into oblivion, that was a turning point in his entire character directly caused by a world-changing crisis of faith. the reason all of the other fives in the subway station gave up solving the problem is because every last one of them loved their family too much to consider the idea that the world has to come at the cost of the family. but this five had been through a full lifetime of apocalypse. he survived for 45 years in an apocalypse and turned saving the world and his family into his sole purpose. he lost that purpose when his future self told him it was all for nothing. that it can't be saved.

and this is where i think that people forget that the hargreeves are not just about childhood trauma; they are also about wealth and power. reginald and the hargreeves are immensely wealthy and immensely physically powerful. think about what else he said in season 3: "this is what it means to be powerful. sometimes you step on ants. we will never be able to save enough lives to make up for those we take."

what we see in s4 is an old man that has been forced to ask for the first time if such power has as much of a right to exist as the ants do. and to his surprise as much as everyone else's, it turns out that the answer is no. they were made from the hubris and selfishness of an abusive egomaniac who released a dangerous, technologically advanced, and highly reactive alien element upon a captive population in an attempt to resurrect his wife from the dead. five and his siblings are that abusive egomaniac's tools. they carry a power manufactured by an abusive egomaniac, and while it was unfairly forced upon them, it is still by nature a power that comes at the expense of others and they find themselves unable to be separated from it.

because that power is too alluring, too much a temptation. ben literally drugs everyone against their will, and to five, an old man asking himself questions about power, the fact that all members of the family voted against it is not proof that they can create a better future absent of this power. the fact that they were drugged anyway despite their protests is proof that they can't, that they will always fall into this power's destructive gravity well.

and an old man that has just had his entire concept of the world and life's purpose ripped away from him is the guy that accepts the end.

[1] the issue with five and lila's romance in character is not five's youth. it's lila's youth. he's almost 70 fucking years old, and his accidental and unwanted sip from the fountain of youth did not and does not change the fact that this is a nearly 70 year old man. he treated lila as if she was childish and immature because that is literally how he sees her and the rest of the siblings. because he is almost 70 years old. he gets annoyed with her for dragging him into stupid risks because he's 70 fucking years old and actually does know better. he is nearly 40 years her senior. their dynamic is funny because he looks 14. not because he IS 14. LOOKS young, not IS young.

regarding "why were they having him flirt when he was underage" for the same reason he's a boozehound and knocks back any alchohol in a 30 foot radius. the character has been over 60+ years old the entire time. & as people age, they can safely participate in more activities. a 14 year old cannot safely roleplay everything a 60+ year old character would do. before age 18, the actor could safely speak flirty lines to other actors during their roleplay job playing a 60+ year old. when the actor turned 18, the actor could safely kiss other adult actors during their job roleplaying as a 60+ year old. the child actor portraying a significantly older character getting hints of romance but not kissing anyone on a set until they're 20 is a sign that things were handled ethically. not the other way around. actors age and stop being 14 years old and limited to the safety constraints of a 14 year old. an adult kissed another adult during their job roleplaying as other people. it was just a bad plotline.

[2] I don't care about timeline hijinks in context of whether that was really physically the exact same 5 from the same timeline that started the commission. he thought it was the physical same him & reacted to it like it was & the impact does not change and in fact might become more acute upon realizing that it wasn't physically him, that it was a whole other five, that there are potentially hundreds of years of attempts to stop the apocalypses, and that the collective mass of their apocalypse ending efforts across all timelines should have accomplished something and never ever did it do so. that's hopeless

#tua #tua season 4 #tua s4 #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves

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ngray192 · 2 months

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Ok, I know I don't really post anything Umbrella Academy related, but I binged season 4 and I have... a lot of thoughts.

Spoilers under the cut

Unpopular opinion, but I liked the ending. The entire season I was telling myself how cool it would be if the world actually ended or if Five, Viktor, or Ben died. I think it was nice seeing that the end of the world really was inevitable, and that every time they tried to fix it they just fucked it up even more.

However, I think the ending was one of the only decent parts of the season. The whole season felt very rushed and I felt like some of the characters were written poorly. 6 1-hour episodes were not enough to bring this show to a satisfying conclusion, in my opinion. I liked the idea of the Keepers, but it felt like the build-up with them needed more time.

I did like Allison, Klaus, and Claire's little dynamic a lot, but with more episodes we really could've seen how much Klaus was caring for Claire, how Allison helped Klaus, etc.

And I might be mistaken, but I felt like Luther and Diego were much closer this season than in the other 3, with no real reason for it. Of course, I haven't seen the other 3 seasons in a long time, but their whole relationship felt a little out of place.

Speaking of out of place relationships, WHAT THE FUCK was up with Lila and Five??? I literally hand to first 4 episodes going "I'm so glad they're friends, I like their friendship" because I could see the romantic tension and I was so against it. One of my favorite things about seasons 2 and 3 was the relationship between Lila and Diego, but they just felt like completely different people in a completely different relationship.

I also liked seeing new/upgraded powers, like Klaus being able to fly and stuff, but Lila's laser eyes felt unnecessary. Also, I spent that entire season waiting for Allison to say "I heard a rumor" and we never got it. (I might have missed it if she did say it)

Lastly, I did like that Ben had a big role this season, I'm especially excited that he was the cause of the apocalypse. However, I hated the whole "Bennifer" plot. Instead of it being powers or some sort of force like the previous seasons, this apocalypse was caused by a monster. I think it would've been cool to see Ben and Jennifer act more like the apocalypse in the 3rd seasons, if that makes sense.

In conclusion, I think this was a bad final season. They should've ended in season 3 with an extra episode or two, or they should've re-done season 4 and made it actually seem like it belongs in the show.

#the umbrella academy #tua season 4 #tua #tua s4 #tua s4 spoilers #lila hargreeves #allison hargreeves #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves

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tuatism · 1 year

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finally posting something here that isnt a repost from main.

five's character is so utterly tragic. we already knew that, of course, so let's focus on his relationship with his family.

from his perspective, his family is everything to him. he may act like he doesn't care too deeply for them but he does. they're the sole reason he kept living for 45 years in an apocalyptic hellscape and a horrificly traumatizing work environment (granted he was already desensitized to some of the violence thanks to his training as a kid). he is constantly looking out for his sibling's safety and spends all his time once he gets back trying to save them.

but that's just it, he spends all his time trying to save them. trying to save people who don't care about him as much as he cares about them. sure, they love him, but nowhere near as much as he loves them.

In their eyes he is almost a tool to stop the apocalypse. many of his siblings disregard him when he isn't being actively useful or necessary.

(havent rewatched in a bit running off autistic memory with this one) remember that scene in s3(?) where five didn't immediately know what was happening/how to stop it and one of the siblings (im thinking allison, but im not sure) got mad at him for it? or maybe not mad, but definitely upset. That's exactly it. he will always just be a means to stop the apocalypse to them, nothing more. their compassion for him ends with his usefulness.

and the worst part? for as long as they're together as a family the apocalypse will happen. all those years he spent alone and all that he's endured was all for naught. he can never truly stop the apocalypse and be with his family, it's simply impossible.

#i havent rewatched in a while forgive me if i get some details wrong #but like this genuinely js so 🙁🙁🙁🙁#this isnt actually a recent thought i said something abt this on tt like a year ago and just now remembered #and wanted to expand on it #the umbrella academy #tua #umbrella academy #five hargreeves #five loves this damn show

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wildlyfreemoon · 1 month

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a casual’s problems with tua s4 (spoilers)

I just… the umbrella academy s4… (spoilers below) -- 4 things i didnt like, and 1 thing i did

like as someone who is a casual viewer and not super involved in the fandom up until this point, even I am like. Dumbfounded by wtv this season was…

five x lila / the stuck in the subway plot

common census shows that the Lila x Five thing was weird but I just think it’s such a shame that they both probably had so much shared resentment for their “upbringing” and the commission and that whole aspect of their friendship/relationship has completely been thrown away in lieu of them getting together

I don’t have a big gripe with five being gone for 7 years and only him knowing that (ie he was gone for 7 years but people think he’s been gone for a couple hours) bc I THOUGHT this would be a way to explain how Aidan (his actor) is no longer a child and doesnt look like a child any more -- but the show explained that by making s4 take place 6 years after s3. but now five should look 26 (13 y/o body in s1 + 6 year gap + extra 7 years in the subway)

... But there was no real reason (at least to me) for Lila to be with him imo

In honesty, i could see five falling for lila, not because i think he truly LOVES her, but because we have seen a similar pattern of behavior before... at a time where he is isolated and alone, he clung to a vaguely humanoid mannequin for comfort and connection. I can see five trying to lean (?) on lila to not lose his sense of self while he's physically lost again... that being said, i dont see why it HAD to be romantic because another aspect of Five's character is that he is EXTREMELY loyal. he literally went 45 years in the apocalypse, constantly trying to get back to his family. and once Five actually reunited with his family, tried to save them, etc. (as i said earlier, i am a casual fan - although i intend to rewatch s1 to erase wtv s4 was from my mind - so i cant pinpoint exact moments where Five bonded with his siblings post traveling back to them, but i know it happens!)

I just think that if five was alone, AGAIN, FOR YEARS, there could have been interesting parallels to his arc/main motivations in the first season — how no matter how long he was separated for, he wanted to get back to his family, to be with them, to save them…

there still could have been a part where he stops for a couple months because he’s so exhausted and has a crisis wondering if he’s meant to be alone, or why he always gets separated (even after finding the book home, he could take another 6 months in his crisis mode — btw the journal showing the way home makes no sense to me like I get that alternate timeline fives made it but how did they know to make a guide back to OUR five’s timeline or wtv)

2. ben's wasted potential

idk i thought there could have been more ben development. his relationship with his siblings.

the way i see it, (sparrow) ben might have wanted his powers back to feel powerful or to feel connected with his (dead) siblings again. he had trouble connecting with the umbrellas who are "close" and know him but he doesnt know them, making him feel isolated.

the show could have showed us how he bonded with the umbrellas, or just in general, not put him in jail for a ponzi scheme for 4/6 years, which FURTHER created a divide between them when they could have just shown subtle nuances about their new formed relationships.

(also have seen posts about ben dying as the monster he - umbrella ben - always thought he was! and like so true but also so painful for them to bring up like thats so... horrid)

3. the jennifer incident

didnt really understand it... like why was she in the squid? i dont understand why the showrunners would invest "time" (no matter how little they spent on it) into creating a whole plot point and character to give jennifer no character, no motivations, no nothing!

imo, they could have just done the "timelines are bleeding into one another" and just said that everything would be erased because every timeline would replace each other or create too much chaos (? if that makes sense), rather than marigold/durango stuff...

i just think it was such a disappointment for them to introduce a new character but not explain the many intricacies about her

i assume that jennifer was miraculously in the squid like the umbrellas/sparrows were miraculously birthed or wtv, but they dont explain why she was so willing to go with and trust ben immediately, or give her literally any motivations or emotions (?)... like she was seen to be protective and caring of her adoptive uncle, just to leave him for ben?? like if ben and jennifer had a connection because tentacle powers and squid girl -- why??!! it just... make it make sense please!

3a. reginald, ben and jennifer

i do think it was interesting for reginald to have 🔫 ben in the original timeline, but for aforementioned, issues with the lack of development on jennifer and the jennifer incident, it overall felt very lack luster

this aspect of the umbrellas and reginald's relationship was super interesting. the fact reginald was so willing and easily killed one of them, further highlights that reginald was just seeing them as a means to an end.

4. the ending

lowkey hated it... because the whole, "the team sacrificed themselves and everything is righted because we never would have existed" thing feels like such a cop out....

like a "it was all just a dream" ending

+1. Klaus being sober and attempting to keep that

like he was sober for 3 years (a huge accomplishment and im so proud of klaus), and despite everyone basically begging him to drink a sake bomb with them in ep 1, he throws it over his shoulder, maintaining his sobriety. even though klaus doesnt stay sober through the whole season, that scene was really nice to me. i remember watching it and hearing klaus say "it doesnt count" and my heart dropping so hard, for it to be revealed he didnt actually take it and make me feel better again.

...then he gets his powers back and feels like he needs substances to cope... which is trigger for him and a normal response.

i dont blame klaus, and while i dont particularly like how the show handled his sobriety and relapse (esp the positions it put klaus through in s4 with like no real impact on the plot, or klaus realising himself -- which there was a whole scenes about klaus being most powerful when he's sober with reginald in s2 i believe?), it was interesting to show how an addict and their actions can effect the people that care about them too (ie how claire reacts). i think they could have had a more nuanced approach, but overall, the initial attempt to stay sober was cool

OMG ALSO!

i thought it was cool how klaus became a germaphobe/afraid of death(?) after being sober. because i thought it was a symbol of how klaus realised he is no longer immortal and can die now, so he becomes overly cautious, realising how he cannot keep living life the way he had. and this translates to his care of claire i thought, because he can no longer talk to the dead either :D

#idk i wrote this in a blind fury with breaks but no real thought behind it lol #just my random thoughts about tua #not proofread #lots of run on sentences #hope i translated my thoughts and feelings in an okay manner lol #the umbrella academy #tua #the umbrella academy season 4

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yuenity · 1 month

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what are your thoughts on tua s4?

Oh boy how long of an answer do you want baha 😭😭

The short answer is I generally enjoyed the season despite its many many flaws. The two major things that I hated with all my soul was Five and Lila’s whole thing (for so many reasons) and Klaus’ arc. Did I love the ending?… no, but I saw it coming. I can’t say I hated it, even if I would’ve liked to see them finally happy.

But if we really want to get into the nitty gritty of it… (Long, half-coherent ramblings below cut)

The show definitely felt… off this entire season. The characters didn’t really feel like their characters and they were always making decisions I didn’t see them making. But the first 4 episodes were generally fine. They still sort of felt like the umbrella academy. It was the last 2 episodes that stuck out as the worst. They felt rushed, and they kept putting in new information last minute (like all that shit with Abigail, woof).

I won’t talk all that much about Five and Lila cause I’ve already reblogged so much about it, and there’s nothing I have to say that others haven’t already expressed. The things that bother me the most about it is how it destroyed Five’s character and how unnecessary it was. Obviously I understand how Five and Lila would fall in love after 7 years of being stranded together. I mean… Five literally fell in love with a mannequin last time he was stranded. But at the end of the day, he would always choose his family. My man was literally stuck in the apocalypse for 45 years and STILL never gave up on finding them. He abandoned Dolores for them. He would not give up after 7 years because of Lila fucking Pitts, especially after all the trouble he’s already been through to save them. But the big thing is, NONE OF THIS HAD TO HAPPEN 😭 it literally didn’t affect the plot whatsoever, it just made Five and Diego hate each other in their last few minutes of existence. ALSO it literally sours every joke about Five and Lila from season 2 and 3. The whole reason they were funny before was because we thought the idea of them was ridiculous. We thought it would never happen. Ugh poor Diego, I felt so damn bad for him this season

Now Klaus… sigh. I spent the whole time thinking “there has to be a reason for this right? There has to be a reason he’s doing his own irrelevant thing on the side right? He probably knows some important information that the group doesn’t and that’s why” but noooo. It was just pointless. I missed him so much, but to just get that was 😭😭 also the fact that nobody fucking went after him?? Every time someone else tried to leave the group, they protested, but then they literally just let Klaus walk away. I. also the germaphobia… I already made a long ass post about that in February, it should be below this post if you wanna read that lols

the possession prostitution was uh… interesting. I can’t say it was out of character, especially when drugs are involved, but it is strange that there were no protests despite his last experience with possession. I haven’t thought a lot about that aspect though tbh

I wish we would’ve had more Ben and Klaus moments :(( I MISSED THEM SO MUCH it’s not even funny. That’s the thing I was looking forward to most, but alas 😔 we get a greeting and that’s it 😔 it feels like the show just forgot how important they were to each other. Obviously sparrow Ben is different from umbrella Ben, but Klaus was the only one to make an effort to connect with him last season. I thought they had gotten somewhere, but now they’re practically strangers. For the second time they didn’t get to say goodbye to each other. Sigh

don’t even get me started about the whole Durango thing. Look… I’ve always found it easy to put aside plot holes when it comes to this show. And I did for a lot of this season. But the fact that this particle is apparently so important to setting things right, and we get no explanation for how Jennifer has it is crazy. That seems like a pretty important thing to explain 😭😭 WHY WAS SHE IN A SQUID??

Also no dance sequence :(( no, Jean and Gene’s didn’t count

…

These are my main grievances, but there was also stuff I liked about the season

Like Jean and Gene!! They’re such classic tua antagonists, I love them.

And finding out Ben’s death!! 6 years of speculation and not ONCE did I think that’s how it was going to happen. I was happy to finally have answers, and holy shit was it shocking. Do I like that it was bc of the Marigold and Durango situation? No, but whatever. Small victories. One thing that I couldn’t help wondering though, was if Klaus knew what happened. Like surely he and Ben had to have spoken about it before? And I remember Klaus making a comment like “I know you didn’t ask to die violently at a young age” back in season 1, which was more than anyone else had ever said about it. Hm just thoughts

Also Luther’s entire character. Seems fitting that he would be my least favorite of the family in season 1 and my most favorite in season 4 lols. He was like the one characterization that didn’t get fucked. The way he kept bringing up Sloane and looking longingly at Diego’s family :(( the return of his stress eating 😭 I love that guy

I also really liked seeing all the characters at the end. The gasp I gusped when I saw the Swedes and the tears I cried when I saw Hazel and Agnes…

Anyway yeah

#there are other things #like Allison and Klaus’ relationship #and Diego and Lila’s apparent hate for their lives #but this was long enough 😭😭#thank you anon 🙏🏽🙏🏽#the umbrella academy #tua #tua s4 #tua season 4 #tua s4 spoilers #the umbrella academy season 4 spoilers

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amnesiaguy · 11 months

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Yes that makes perfect sense what you said about your metatextual experience with dr who, ive been there! I think it's the same reason younger ppl can like meet god via things that arent as rich or good when looked at more critically. (i remember this post that was like "jk rowling didnt save you, you and your imagination did, and if not hp it would have been something else.) Dr who does lend itself to a more epic mythical experience, with its range of all of time and space and the core passion/friendship themes. I'm curious which seasons and what stuff in your head really compelled you??

the rose/nine/jack trio compelled me a ton— in my mind, the time they spent together had way more narrative weight & lingered there so much longer than just five episodes. obv this is impacted by jack coming back in season three & torchwood too, but even before i knew about all that, the stretch of time between rose and nine meeting jack & the season finale lasted a LOT longer in my head. i spent a lot of time thinking about their adventures together.

in general, these seasons are a great deal shorter than i remember them being! i guess that’s because i was only able to watch an episode a couple times a week when i was small and now i’m mainlining ‘em :)

i also have this feeling that the ending of season five— with eleven essentially marrying amy and rory— is the way the show ends, lmao. i know it isn’t! i even watched all the subsequent seasons, but there was a long gap in my watching that makes everything that comes after feel kind of fake.

as for what other dynamics compelled me, i can’t tell you how many times i watched the season three finale and the couple episodes before that lead up to it. whatever the fuck ten and the master have going on OBSESSED me as a youngin and it still makes me a little bonkers. the subversion of “the last time lord left”; the doctor betraying everything he believes in and going against his morals because he loves the scariest villain dearly; martha jones saving the world and undoing the apocalypse by TELLING A STORY; jack & martha & ten experiencing “the year that never was”; a preteen nathaniel seeing something blatantly kinky on screen for possibly the first time ever. um. perfect cocktail of variables to change my brain chemistry

#nathaniel.txt #replies #anon #dr who rewatch

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mannanoo · 1 year

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Masks and Facades

No Warnings Apply Teen and Up Audiences Klaus Hargreeves and Number Five The Umbrella Academy Word Count: 6,794 Completed.

Klaus is sober and Five is capable of feeling emotions.

That being said, just because Five does have a heart, doesn't mean he knows how to actually use it to bond with his brother

Or maybe he does because it's just so easy to talk to Klaus.

Sober Klaus was… different. Unexpected. An outlier.

Not to say that it was unexpected that Klaus would ever be able to get sober, no. But his behaviour was definitely unexpected.

For one, while sober, Klaus couldn’t cook anything. Toast was a struggle. Compared to when he was high as possible when he seemed to become a 4-star chef.

While sober, Klaus was definitely more distracted by the ghosts around him. Sure, he’d learned to deal with them better than when Sir was ‘training’ them, but they were definitely more distracting. But while high, the only ghost he seemed to see was Ben. Five was sure that was because of stubbornness, however he couldn’t figure out whether it was stubbornness on Ben’s part to try and stop Klaus’ destructive behaviours or whether it was Klaus subconsciously needed some sort of support, especially the kind of support that could be easily ignored or couldn’t physically stop him.

Five supposed, the reason he was so caught up on how Klaus had changed was because it was the more noticeable change between his siblings. After Five had managed to make his way back from being stuck in the future and then under The Commissions thumb, his siblings hadn’t changed all that much, bar the change in Ben’s mortality. But he had already grieved Ben, along with his other siblings in the future. He knew how Ben died, granted he didn’t know the details. He suspected the only people who would know how Ben had died would be those who were present. Vanya wouldn’t know, and despite everything else she had written in her book, he doubted very much that she would write the details of their brother’s death in her book.

But, back to the subject.

In the week that followed his return, Five noticed in the back of his mind every time Klaus changed. Whether it was for better or worse. Klaus was always more… flexible. More mouldable. He wore masks, whether he realised it or not, Klaus had masks for each person he spoke to. His default though, seemed to be the junkie who could see ghosts. That was the mask Klaus had started to carefully construct when they were younger, before Five has disappeared. It was the mask he wore when he was faced with more than just one of his siblings. It was the mask he had defaulted to when Five returned.

Which had, stung. More than he’d like to admit. Five knew that mask well. It was the mask Klaus used when he didn’t know who he was talking to. It had definitely stung that Klaus used the mask with Five, but he knew the reason. For them, he had been gone for 16 years. Even though it had been longer for him, he knew he wasn’t the same person as when he was 13. He wasn’t the same person, but Klaus being able to see that immediately through the haze of pills and alcohol that was a constant in his system now stung.

But he took it with stride. He knew how Klaus ticked, and it made him feel warmer inside when Klaus had acted the same way Five knew when they were younger. The idiot with poor impulse control but who could always get them out of trouble with a new mask for a new person. Although his lip had stung and he was sure that his brother’s forehead was stinging through his fogged-up mind, he smiled when he saw that Klaus had once again got them out of trouble.

That moment, that small, seemingly insignificant moment was the exact point when the default mask had started cracking and slipping from his face as he turned to Five and asked for his twenty dollars after the front doors to the lab shut behind them. With that job taken care of, Five decided his efforts were better spent on averting the apocalypse. If he needed his siblings, he would tell them, would take Luther’s place as leader. But until then, he needed Klaus to see him as his brother again but he needed, more than anything to know they were all safe. If they weren’t involved, then they wouldn’t die and then he would have at least changed something and they wouldn’t be alone. But until then, until he knew whether he had succeeded in averting the apocalypse, he needed to keep one eye on his siblings and one eye on finding Dolores. And the fake eye on averting the apocalypse.

Finding Dolores had been a priority since he came back. But when Hazel and Cha-Cha found him with Dolores, both eyes had been on getting out alive with Dolores. He had kept running until he got back to the Academy. He had stitched himself up, his only thoughts on keeping Dolores safe and fixing the apocalypse. Surely his siblings would be fine while he altered his calculations. They had grown up the same as him after all.

They would all be fine.

Until they weren’t.

After he had come back to the Academy, dragged there by Diego who didn’t want him in his disgusting boiler room anymore. He had found the trail of wet, bloody footprints coming from the small bathroom directly to Klaus’ room. He had been shocked and curious by the trail of diluted blood. He had been prepared for some blood in the mansion, after Diego and Luther mentioning Hazel and Cha-Cha’s uninvited visit. He hadn’t been prepared for his brother.

In the few days it had been since Five had seen his ghostly brother, he had not expected such drastic changes. The new tattoos and the new-old dog tags around his neck didn’t shock him as much as the air surrounding him.

Klaus had always been a cold person physically. He had used it to torture his sibling’s countless times when they were children, had even used his freezing hands to try and throw them off when they were all forced to spar with each other by Sir’s insistence. They all knew it was due to his powers. And they all knew that the more ghosts clinging to him, the colder he was. Since Five had returned, Klaus seemed to have been at a constant temperature, kept consistent by the only ghost clinging to him being Ben. But the shift in temperature as Five stepped through the doorway to his brother’s room shocked him. It was like walking into a freezer. It was like something in the room was sucking out all heat, but Five knew that it wasn’t on purpose. He could also see how dirty-clean Klaus was. Physically, he was still quite dirty and rough looking. There were still spots of dirt on his skin that seemed like they were tattooed there more than just smeared there. His hair seemed more tamed than usually, but on Klaus it just seemed wrong. Off. No matter how clean it would look on anyone else, on his brother, it still seemed dirty and unkept.

But his eyes were the biggest change.

Five could still tell his brothers head was foggy. His mind was still hazy and his eyes were still glossy, but it was different this time. It was a cleaner, more pure fog that graced his brothers mind. There was no other way to describe it, but despite how high Klaus might have looked to the untrained eye, Five knew. He knew the symptoms. He knew that his brother had travelled in time and come back the same age, give or take however long he had been gone. His mind was already firing up questions and calculations, answering questions to himself that he hadn’t asked already. His feelings for his brother and how he might have felt were filed away for the moment. He knew when he went for a more analytical view of life that Dolores hated it, hated seeing him shed all sense of person, but in that moment, that brief moment of amazement that his brother had managed to get Hazel and Cha-Cha’s briefcase and use it, he couldn’t remember why it was so bad. Why it was so wrong to see the bigger, clearer image.

His moment of elation was quickly shut down when Klaus wouldn’t (couldn’t, his brain later supplied, when he was thinking with his heart and head in equal balance) answer his questions. When he had told his younger-older brother that he had broken the briefcase, that he had left it on that street corner to explode and burn when he had the chance. He wasn’t thinking about his brother. He needed that briefcase. He needed that briefcase to blackmail Hazel and Cha-Cha. Anything else was irrelevant. If he had that briefcase, he could stop the apocalypse from happening. He could save his siblings from dying. He wouldn’t have to bury them a second time.

(He knew in the back of his mind, that the worst thing the Commission could do to him if he failed to stop the apocalypse would be to save him. Save him and let his siblings die and make him grieve them all over again. And let him repeat the cycle of trying to save his family and failing and trying and failing and trying and failing and-)

The door swinging back against the wall knocked him out of his thoughts as Klaus left. He hadn’t seen his face, but he knew, he just knew that Klaus had a different mask for him now. It would be a completely new one and there was no way that Five would know what it could be. He had just thrown all of Klaus and his new changes to the side in favour or plotting (of trying to save his family. Feelings didn’t matter now if he couldn’t save them later) but he knew that Klaus wouldn’t-couldn’t give him the junkie mask.

Five had already seen that Klaus was clean. Even if he didn’t know exactly why, he knew there was a reason for being clean and Five knew that Klaus knew that he knew that. Which meant Klaus couldn’t put forward the junkie mask again.

Not any time soon at least.

(There’s no time for feelings. Hazel and Cha-Cha don’t know the briefcase is broken. They can still be used. We can still fix the world and then fix our family)

He wasn’t sure when he had started referring to himself as we. Maybe when he saw the Academy destroyed. Maybe when he buried his siblings. Maybe when he couldn’t find Vanya. Maybe when he found Dolores. Maybe when he lost Dolores. Maybe when he gone back to his 13-year-old body but was still older than all his siblings who were all born on the exact same day or the exact same year as him.

Maybe when he realised that Sir Reginald was right and that he wasn’t ready for time travel. Maybe when he realised that he hadn’t come out of the ice properly.

Maybe he had come out of the ice properly and the travel had changed everyone else.

He wasn’t sure anymore, and he wasn’t sure the other part of his brain that referred to him as ‘we’ knew either.

Dolores would know, but he wasn’t sure-they- weren’t sure they-he- wanted to admit he was wrong this soon. Especially not about hurting his brother by pushing his heart aside and thinking with his head.

The days that followed, he saw Klaus much less. It was his own fault, but he couldn’t dwell on that. Not after he had filed away Klaus’ feelings for his own gain and effectively broken that mask that Klaus had spent time creating and perfecting for him. His mask with Diego was more open, more vulnerable. With Luther it was the same as it had always been, just crazy enough to keep Luther away from him but just friendly enough that he wasn’t a threat. But it kept shifting with Five now. For a moment it would be the junkie mask, the next moment it would be the mask he had spent years on, the next it would be a combination of all the masks Klaus used on his siblings separately.

It stung Five to know he had shattered the mask Klaus wore with him. It stung to know that once it was complete, he would most likely get the same new default mask. The mask he’d be able to wear with all his siblings together that wasn’t the old ‘junkie-who-can-see-ghosts’ mask.

It stung to know he had become a stranger to his brother again when all Five could think was he didn’t want to bury his brother again.

The sting of his failure to recognise his brother’s emotions didn’t leave him. Especially when he was designated the lookout like nothing had changed when everything had actually changed. It stung when he saw that confident, smug look on his brothers face after he manifested Ben and used their dead brother’s powers. The smile that Five had carefully crafted all those years ago, because it was the one thing he had over Sir Reginald. That he was better at controlling his powers than his siblings and he knew it but Sir Reginald couldn’t do shit about it because they both knew he wasn’t wrong.

It stung to know his brother didn’t have a mask for him any more but that he had been carefully crafting Five’s smug smile, even after he had disappeared. Because Five knew, that no matter how hard he had tried when they were younger, Klaus could never get the perfect balance between overconfidence and justified confidence that had come naturally to Five.

A few months after they had averted the apocalypse, and a few days after Five was absolutely sure that they were all safe from The Commission, he had decided it was time to come face to face with his brother again. He knew that whatever mask Klaus had made for him would sting, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid it forever. Not when all of his siblings were insistent on having ‘family-bonding-time’ to try and stop any chance of another apocalypse happening. He knew that Klaus had been practising with his powers along with Vanya so they could both learn at their own pace. He knew that they had bonded over Sir Reginald’s ‘training’ induced claustrophobia. Neither of them wanted to chance of being locked away to deal with their powers again and had elected to train each other outside in the garden, by Ben’s new memorial. One that had been made after Klaus had manifested Ben one day, who had then made a comment about how much he had hated the statue and was glad when Luther had knocked it down at their dad’s funeral.

The new memorial was much better, in all of their opinions. Instead of a statue with the vaguest influence of their brother, they had all chosen to take care and help grow a large evergreen tree. It had taken a while to get it to the right size, but since they had all been thrown into the past to help Vanya anyway, by the time they had caught up to themselves in the timeline, the tree towered over the garden and was perfect for climbing. It had become one of Klaus’ favourite spots in the grounds of the Academy and there was almost a guarantee that no one would interrupt them when Five had made up his mind (it was his own now. He had stopped referring to his body and mind as we. He wasn’t sure when, but it had happened and he wasn’t going to question himself).

He had planned out the encounter perfectly. He’d wait until early evening, when Klaus and Vanya had finished training with each other, when Diego had gone to do some PI work (he still justified it as being a vigilante but they all knew he had stopped being ‘Batman’ nowadays), when Luther and Allison were off, either working on their weird relationship or helping Allison get Claire back (they were all becoming quite anxious to meet their niece every time Allison talked about her so there was no chance Allison or Luther would be willing to interrupt his encounter with Klaus). He knew that Klaus and Ben had an agreement that early in the evening, Ben would go off to do whatever ghost things he did and Klaus would enjoy the setting sun (it had quickly become his favourite past time during his times at rehab and had made getting sober easier on him every day when he was ‘trapped’ in rehab. (He hadn’t said it, but they all knew it was because of Mom and Pogo reminding him on particularly bad days that there couldn’t only be ghosts in the world because then there would only be darkness and a sunset couldn’t exist in an everlasting darkness. He didn’t need to say it.))

Five had gone to sleep the day before, after going over his plan in his head for the fifth time and to Dolores for the third time. He had planned it perfectly, even down to the time he would need to wake up the next day (it wasn’t any different than normal but if he woke up later then the plan would have to wait for another day (“Yes it does matter Dolores. No, I’m not procrastinating. It matters. It always matters.”))

He was going to sleep for 9 hours, and wake up at exactly 8am. (“Even if I’m a minute late waking up then it waits another day, Dolores. I already told you, it always matters.”)

His plan was perfect and timed and there was no way it would go wrong.

Until he was woken up to the smell of coffee, the noise of a mug being plonked on his bedside table, his curtains being thrown open to let the sun shine directly onto his face and a body sinking onto the bed right by his head. He sat up sharply, reflexively reaching beside him (his gun was gone. He couldn’t protect himself- there was nothing to protect himself from. He was safe. He is safe. He didn’t-doesn’t- need the gun anymore. He didn’t before but he definitely doesn’t now.) He turned his head to the side to look at his alarm before even attempting to figure out who had woken him at-

28 minutes past 4. In the morning. 4:28 AM.

His plan was ruined. It would have to wait until tomorrow.

He turned to face the person who had woken him up and ruined his plan, ready to lash out at Luther or Diego or Allison. Vanya wouldn’t have woken him at this time of morning. (Allison probably wouldn’t have either, but it was still her preferred method of waking him up. Annoying him awake with light and sound before making him compliant with coffee.)

His words died on his tongue when he came face to face with Klaus.

Klaus, smiling at him.

Klaus smiling at him.

He wasn’t sure what shocked him the most. The fact that Klaus, the brother he had been very obviously ignoring for the past few… however long it had been (time travel would always be a bitch) or that fact that it was Klaus who had come to him first.

Klaus wasn’t a patient person. All of their siblings knew that. They all also knew that Klaus would easily annoy other people but wouldn’t get annoyed easily. But when he was annoyed, or hurt mentally, he knew how to hold a grudge. Five expected Klaus to try and get away from him as soon as he put his plan into action, which is why he had chosen to try and corner him on his perch of some of the taller branches of Ben’s tree (Klaus may still have destructive tendencies, but they had lessened significantly since he had become sober (since he came back from Vietnam after watching someone he loved die) it was one of the changes Five found fascinating about his brother. That he could be so destructive for years of their lives, even after seeing their little brother (Ben would always be the little brother despite being the same age as the rest of them and not being the smallest. He had tended to try and take up the least amount of room possible and became the little brother while Vanya had become their little sister) die. He had kept up his destructive tendencies even after he had died and overdosed so many times (“He overdosed 9 times before he figured out the limit and died 6 other times while high, once while sober” Ben’s voice echoed in his head.) and it was only when it was someone who had loved him back and loved him fully through his misgivings and until his death, that Klaus had decided it wasn’t worth the risk to destroy himself to piss of Sir Reginald (Sir Reginald who still didn’t care what Klaus did, just that he had been a disappointment to him).

Five was still processing and sorting through all his early morning intrusive thoughts when Klaus smile brightly at him (it was Five’s mask. The same one as before. Somewhere deep inside him a coil of tension unfurled and soothed. Maybe he hadn’t broken everything) before grabbing the mug of coffee and pushing under Five’s nose.

“I got that coffee you were banging on about. Figured you might have noticed it already, but looks like you haven’t.” He had noticed it. He knew that someone had bought it for him. He knew that it had probably been Klaus. But he hadn’t been ready to face his brother and therefore wasn’t ready (deserving) to have a decent cup of coffee so had suffered. He blinked slowly, still trying to get rid of the grogginess before slowly lifting his hands to take the mug out of Klaus’ hand and away from his face. (The mug was close to overflowing and he was sure Klaus had already spilled a few drops on his nightstand and bed already, and he could tell the coffee had been brewing too long but he would still drink it (no one had gone through this much trouble for him since… since forever. He wasn’t used to this but he thought he might be able to) because Klaus had made it).

“No. Smiling this early in the morning is unnatural and disgusting. Do you even realise what time it is?” He knew his words were sharper than he wanted them to be, but he still couldn’t get past the fact that his plan to confront Klaus had been ruined by Klaus confronting him.

“It’s half past four in the morning and you have been ignoring me and the coffee I bought you. Don’t complain.” The smile left Klaus’ face, but eh amusement in his eyes didn’t leave and the mask didn’t change. Silence fell between them, but it was comfortable as Five lifted the mug up to his face and managed to take a small sip of too bitter (burnt) coffee without wincing. A few moments passed before Klaus opened his mouth to say something, but Five beat him to it.

“I’m sorry.” Klaus froze. Five didn’t look at him-couldn’t look at him. He knew he had been wrong to push Klaus aside before (later? He still wasn’t sure when it was). He had known even as he asked about the briefcase instead of what happened to his brother, when he got angry about the briefcase being destroyed and his brother messed with the dog tags (Dave’s dog tags. The only person outside the family Klaus had loved and who had loved him back equally. He needed to start using his name. He was worth that in the very least). He knew when instead of running after his brother he had sat down to scribble a note to meet with Hazel and Cha-Cha (the ones who had tortured his brother for information he didn’t have and who couldn’t keep hold of their briefcase long enough to keep it out of Klaus’ sticky fingers (it was their fault Klaus had been tortured in that motel and then with a love he couldn’t keep (but then it was also Five’s fault and he knew that))).

Klaus’ jaw was still hanging open and amazement had replaced amusement in his eyes. In all their years (he still wasn’t sure but without Dolores he knew his calculations would definitely be wrong) Five had never apologised. Not when they were children, not when he came back, not when they went back and not when they had finally been able to live their lives and start acting like a family. (He still needed to apologise to Vanya for saying she wasn’t important during the apocalypse (she was, she always had been important, regardless of her part in the apocalypse (but he needed to finish apologising to Klaus first.)))

“Dolores always hated when I stopped thinking properly but I just couldn’t stop and I wanted to be your brother again but then I didn’t want to bury you again and if I had the briefcase then I could stop Hazel and Cha-Cha without killing them because Luther really doesn’t like the idea of me murdering people and I didn’t want to-I don’t want to, but there wasn’t much choice because I didn’t want to bury you all again because it would be my fault if you all died because it would mean I’d failed and it’d be all on me and all my fault. I’m sorry I didn’t ask about what happened, or where you went, or when you went, or who you lost but I couldn’t stop thinking about how I could save you all because I didn’t want to lose all of you all over again.” His words spilled out of his mouth like bitter coffee. They stung, and burnt his throat, and numbed his lips and cheeks and tongue and he didn’t even realise he was crying until he felt the burning coffee mug (it wasn’t hot enough to burn his throat so why- oh yeah, the tears) being pried from his death grip (he hadn’t realised he was gripping it so tight-that must have been why his fingers were burning) and when he felt his brother’s cold (they were always so cold) hand reach up to wipe away his tears with one hand while he set the mug down on the coffee table again (carefully this time-Klaus must have noticed the few drops he’d spilt before). The trails of salt on his cheeks that were making his way into his mouth through his open lips (that must have been the sting. The salt from his tears). He didn’t even realise how much he was crying until his brother’s voice slowly started to echo in his ears past the ringing and slight pain at his temples.

“… two, three, four. Breathe out, one, two, three, four.” He felt his breathing slow, and opened his eyes (when did he close them (better question: when did he lift his hands up to press his fingers into his temples?)). He looked into his brother’s face and saw him smile shakily with wet eyes. (Five was the one who had been crying, there was no need for Klaus to have tears in his eyes (He realised later, when he was more awake and more… steady that Klaus was close to crying because his brother was crying-he didn’t know when he would get used to seeing his family care about him again (they couldn’t care if they were just corpses he was burying))) “Just breathe for a minute Five.” Klaus paused in his words as he helped Five bring his hands to warm themselves around the mug of coffee again, and wiped the remainders of the tears from his little (no matter how much Five wanted to disagree, he had always been the smallest of them all (only just in comparison to Ben or Vanya, but smaller nonetheless)) brother’s face.

“There’s a lot to unpack there Five.” (He knows there’s a lot to unpack, it was his fault for all of it anyway (maybe not the actual apocalypse but his definitely still played his part in that.) “But you know I don’t blame you right? Like, none of this was your fault. Especially none of the stuff with Dave or Hazel and Cha-Cha. You didn’t make them kidnap me, or torture me, and you weren’t the one who set that briefcase to the fucking Vietnam War. I mean, you didn’t even send them after you or any of us in the first place. The only person I blame is that Handler lady and dad but that’s just because I blame him for everything.” He paused again, taking a breath to look straight into Five’s eyes (he did that a lot-now he was sober. It was one of the bigger but more subtle changes Five had noticed now Klaus was sober. He could look people in the eye now). He wiped off the remainder of Five’s tears from the corners of his eyes before leaning back slightly. His head tilted slightly (Ben) as he stayed silent before he continued speaking, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling. “It was extremely shitty, being tortured and then escaping only to end up in Vietnam in the middle of a war in only a towel and my coat, but if the situation came up again, you know the only thing I’d do different?” Five shook his head. He didn’t trust himself to speak, he couldn’t predict what Klaus was about to say. His head was turned too far away from him. Klaus looked at him from the corner of his eyes and Five shook his head again. “I’d save Dave. I wouldn’t wait for him to be killed, or follow him to the front lines. I’d keep him alive til the end of the war, I’d make sure he could go home and see his mom and his sister. Then I’d sweep him off his feet and bring him here, try and make a life with him here so we wouldn’t have to hide anything. That’s all I’d do. Just change it so he could live his life.” Five couldn’t speak.

How could his brother, who had arguably been screwed over physically more than any of them, not only not blame him for what had happened, but also not want to change it? Would willingly go back into a warzone for someone he’d only known for ten months?

He studied Klaus’ profile in silence as he tried to figure out what to respond with. He watched Klaus smile wistfully up at the ceiling. Watched as tears gathered in the corners of his eyes (probably both but Five could only see one of them (he wished he could see both. Just to make sure it wasn’t his brothers eye he’d carried around for years)). He watched as his brother (his big brother. It was starting to grow on him-that he didn’t have to be the strongest or oldest or smartest one anymore) tilted his head to the side again (always tilted it to the left (they all knew that Ben preferred to stay on his right-if only to screw with their father’s number order (they were children. They shouldn’t have been numbered; they should’ve had names))). He realised as he watched his brother just how much he had loved Dave (he was getting there-using his name. Even if he hadn’t said it out loud). There was nothing he could say that would even be close to right in response to that kind of statement (he knew what it implied. He’d sacrificed himself for the only person who had truly loved him and seen past everything (Dave had probably seen him through withdrawals and relapse and the nightmares during that time he spent in the past (he didn’t dwell on how Dave had probably seen Klaus worse than any of their siblings, especially him (he should’ve been there))).

He’d sacrifice himself for the only person he thought loved him without obligation.

He needed to change the subject. He needed to change the subject before he started crying again.

He lifted the mug to his lips to drink the coffee (it was still bitter and burnt but with the added effect of now being too cold (it was still better than anything else because Klaus had tried to make a perfect drink with his favourite coffee (he bought it specifically for him, he’d be damned if he wasted a single drop))).

After he choked down most of the liquid, he put the mug down on his bedside table again (it had to be in the exact same place or else everything would change again). He turned back to look at his (big) brother who was still probably swept up in his memories of Dave.

“It doesn’t absolve me of guilt Klaus.” His voice startled his brother, who snapped his head back to face him in confusion. Before he could retaliate, Five held up his hand and Klaus stopped. His brows furrowed further but quietened down nevertheless. “Just because all that wasn’t my fault, doesn’t mean I should’ve ignored you and your feelings. I should’ve asked about where you were, I should’ve noticed you were even gone. I should’ve asked what happened and not tried to reason my way out of it. Hell, I could’ve mentioned it to Diego or even Luther. I took him with me to try and blackmail Hazel and Cha-Cha with a broken briefcase and I could’ve told him then but I didn’t. And unless you’ve told any of them, then they don’t know either and they should know-we all should know because we’re your siblings and we should care more than we already do.” They both stayed quiet for the next few moments, both trying to absorb all the conversation. Five swallowed the rest of the burnt coffee, resolutely looking down at his bedsheets (still covering his legs, doing nothing to hide the nervous shaking). Once his mug was empty, he stared down at the bottom of it, staring at the coffee grounds that hadn’t been filtered out properly, as if they would give him answers or an idea of what to say (they wouldn’t. he’d tried too many times during the apocalypse to find answers of how to fix everything. He still wasn’t sure they’d done the right thing or that they’d averted the apocalypse completely, but there was no way of telling now the Commission was gone and there were no more briefcases left to travel with.)

“Alright then. It wasn’t your fault and you still feel guilty about being a prick. Is that what you wanted me to say?” Klaus’ serious tone shocked Five more than any part of this conversation. His head snapped up to stare at his (big) brother who was staring up at the ceiling, his head tilted back and his brows furrowed. Five had never seen his brother look as angry as he did now, he wasn’t entirely sure it was possible (Lies. Five had seen Klaus this angry before, the first time all of them, including Vanya, had tried to get Klaus sober. They’d taken all his drugs and half empty bottles from his room and Five had been the one to disappear with them while Luther pinned Klaus down. They’d all ignored his protests and his excuses. They’d all thought he was being dramatic. They’d thought he was being childish. Fuck, they should’ve just listened to him, tried to help. Christ, they were all so messed up.)

“Do you want me to say you’re a prick? That I think you’re a shit brother because you had so much on your mind that you weren’t worried about your druggie brother? Because honestly Five, I don’t blame you for anything, except pissing off in the first place. I don’t blame you for wanting to time travel, I don’t blame you for doing it just because dear old Reggie said you couldn’t, I don’t blame you for getting stuck in the fucking apocalypse, I don’t blame you for being more focused on the entirety of the human race dying than your own siblings, and I definitely don’t blame you for not asking me about my feewings while you were trying to stop us all from dying horribly.” The words were spat out of Klaus’ mouth like venom, as if the topic of emotion was too much, too close, too familial.

That stinging feeling was starting to come back in his chest.

It stung knowing that Klaus didn’t think he was worth feeling guilty for. That he thought he wasn’t worth anything Five was trying to say.

“Do you understand Five? I don’t blame you for anything that happened because I wasn’t your fault and there’s no reason to blame you. The only person I blame for any of this, the only person I will never forgive, is Reginald fucking Hargreeves. He turned us into soldiers and was directly responsible for at least one out of the seven of us becoming a druggie. He’s the reason that Vanya thought she was ordinary, he’s the reason Allison used her powers on us all the time, he’s the reason you disappeared and got stuck in the future, he’s the reason Diego has that scar, that Luther died and was brought back as a science experiment, the reason Ben died, the reason I became a junkie, and the reason why you had to see us all dead along with the rest of the world. There is literally no reason to blame you for ignoring my feelings when you were trying to fix all of his mistakes from when you were thirteen. The only thing he did right was die and not come bitching at me every hour.”

He did. He did understand. It didn’t get rid of the guilt completely, but it definitely lessened.

He didn’t understand how Klaus could feel so… worthless.

He didn’t understand how Klaus, who had been speaking to their dead brother this entire time, who had been sober for this long, had fought in the Vietnam War, had been able to manifest Ben to help keep them alive when they were being shot at, had been able to talk Vanya down after they averted the apocalypse, had essential fixed everything, could feel so worthless.

So undeserving.

Before he even realised, Five was reaching his arms up to pull at Klaus’ arm, tugging him down lightly.

The shock of his touch must have done most of the work, because Klaus was immediately half laying on top of Five’s small body, with Five’s small arms wrapping around his shoulders and his face buried in the nook between Klaus’ neck and shoulder.

The two of them stayed silent as Klaus slowly and carefully wrapped his arms around Five’s waist and they both relaxed into place.

Eventually, Five broke the silence, his murmured words only just making their way into Klaus’ ear.

“Tell anyone about this and you’re dead.” Klaus’ body started shaking as laughter took over his body and he fell out of Five’s grip, clutching his stomach, falling on his back across Five’s covered legs (that were no longer shaking. He wasn’t sure when they’d stopped, but thank Ben that Klaus either hadn’t noticed or jut hadn’t said anything.) Five struggled upwards, pulling his legs out from underneath Klaus’ lithe form to kneel over him. “I mean it Klaus! If you tell anyone I swear you’re dead!”

“Big Bad Assassin Five has emotions! Thank the Lord! It’s a miracle!” Klaus blurted out, and by now, Five was sure he had awoken Diego at the very least, maybe even Vanya (now she had her powers back, she was way too sensitive to any sounds. It had made it hard to try and surprise her now but also meant she was a much lighter sleeper than they’d all remembered her as.)

“Klaus shut up! It’s too early for you to wake up everyone with this shit!” Five shouted back, ignoring the fact that he was probably being even louder than his (big) brother. His statement, however, was contradicted by the fact he was smiling, a much bigger and truer smile than he had ever before (it seemed more like childish glee in this body, however, he couldn’t bring himself to care. They were finally starting to act like siblings. It had only taken some failed time travel, Reginald dying and averting the apocalypse.)

#ao3 to tumblr #ao3 writer #writing #my fic #the umbrella academy #klaus umbrella academy #five hargreeves

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takaraphoenix · 2 years

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I’ve been holding back on making this post because I wanted to finish Batman Beyond Vol 6 before writing it to see if things change. And since I spent last night not really being able to sleep and instead finished that run, here I am.

Damn did this iteration do Dana dirty.

Dana Tan deserves just a million times better than the post-New 52 timeline gives her, I mean holy shit.

Pre-New 52 inclusion and Brother Eye cyborg-zombie apocalypse Dana had learned about Terry’s secret while the two were still in high school. She’d put two and two together herself, actually. When she confronted him, he confessed and confided in her. And she was supportive of it.

And I was hyped for it. For them to move forward as a couple, Dana in the know about Batman and Terry no longer having to lie to her.

For some reason I can’t fathom, they were broken up in the next iteration of Batman Beyond. Just, not really explained. Dana barely in it at all. Terry hooking up with Melanie.

And, I confess, I do like Terry and Mel together. I love Melanie as a character. I am 100% pro Melanie Walker joining the Bat Fam, but not at the cost of Dana.

Then the cyborg-zombie apocalypse hit and the timeline got rewritten. And it’s never exactly explained how it effected what - Tim Drake was the one to save Gotham City in the very storyline where Dana learned the truth, but Tim Drake didn’t exist anymore in that form, since a younger Tim was misplaced in time and Tim thus never grew up to be the old guy who saves the day. So no clue if the storyline even happened at all.

Genuinely, the thing that drives me the most nuts about timeline resets and reboots and rebirths and whatever is that they never give you a comprehensive list of shit that changed.

So, for some reason that isn’t elaborated upon, Dana no longer knows Terry’s secret. Instead, they are - in this new timeline - broken up because all the secrets and ditched dates became too much for Dana. And that’s fair.

But then she does learn the secret (again), in this new timeline.

And the writers do Dana Tan just incredibly dirty by having her basically throw a fit. She’s okay with it for like an issue before drawing the line that no nope she can totally not put up with Terry being Batman actually. That’s... not Dana though. Dana was canonically okay with it, supportive and understanding of it. Okay, sure, maybe it makes a difference that she now learns many years later than she did originally. But it still doesn’t ring true to me that Dana would give up on Terry that easily and would actually be full stop not supportive of Terry being Batman.

Not... that it actually matters because aside from doing her characterization dirty, they also fuck her over by having her walk in on Terry kissing Melanie while Terry and Dana are still a couple.

And then she’s just kind of written out. I mean, understandable on her part for not wanting to have anything to do with Terry after that.

But for near 20 years, Dana Tan was the female lead, the romantic lead. Also one of the two only characters of color in the main cast. (Damn, Beyond!Damian is one of the whitest Damians I have ever seen.)

They didn’t just do a character dirty. They did one of the five original main characters, one of only two women and also only two characters of color, dirty. And that’s just... that’s just really not a good look.

Sure, they bring Dana back for the final arc of Vol 6, but not to really do anything. Just to... be there, for no real reason given, in the hospital when Bruce gets his heart transplant. Like a supportive girlfriend type of character, with zero own motivation, and also she’s not the girlfriend. But her and Terry are “okay” now... again, for no reason.

They couldn’t even dedicate some time to Terry and Dana actually talking. Terry actually apologizing to her.

Vol 6 really fucked Dana Tan over severely. She used to have her own story, but this reduced her to Girlfriend Throwing A Fit and then just Supportive Friend after not being in the majority of the run.

And even if they switch love interests to Mel, which isn’t out of nowhere, the two have a years long set up and they had a consensual relationship while Terry was single before he got back together with Dana, they didn’t have to throw Dana under the bus to do so.

Man, I really hope that the Neo Year run treats her better.

#Dana Tan #Batman Beyond #Batman Beyond Vol 6 #DC Comics #Phoe Reading DC

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sissytobitch10seconds · 2 years

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Living Our Lives

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: Five wanted to see more of the world than he got to when he was working for the Commission and living during the apocalypse. So as soon as he was able to, Viktor took him on as many vacations as he could. Warnings: PTSD flashbacks, triggered panic attacks, and mentions of canon-typical violence Word Count: 3,209 Ship(s): Five Hargreeves/Viktor Hargreeves

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A/N: So I specifically chose to write them being in a national/state park because I love being in them and writing them in a car is very boring (car rides are always boring for me because I have to sleep through them to avoid being sick). The events of this fic are also something that happened to me in real life, which was another reason I decided to write this for this prompt. I hope you guys enjoy it! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

fresh starts - road trip - getting back together/mutual pining - "make me" - acceptance - fairytale AU

Viktor woke to the sound of the waves crashing against the sandy pebble-ridden beach outside of their hotel room. They weren’t exactly water-front, but it was a five minute walk even at low tide to be standing directly in the ocean. The sound traveled well over the beach and the small grassy area that led up to the hotel, twisting through half-open window in the bathroom and then filling the room with the repetitive sound.

When he finally managed to pry his eyes open from where he had been sleeping, he looked over the room again. It was still cloudy outside from the rainstorm that they had the day before, but Viktor liked it like that. They had been on the road for almost a week at this point and he was already feeling nostalgic and home sick for the east coast.

The room that he and his husband had booked for the three days that they were going to be visiting attractions in the area was plain and a little outdated. The TV locked away in the entertainment center only hooked up to the little DVD player underneath it and didn’t have cable, though that wasn’t something they were worried about since they had each other to keep them busy. There was no minifridge, so all of the things that they had bought to eat where being kept cold in their cooler with a chunk of dry ice that they had bought from a convenience store in town. The beds were comfortable, with a thick quilt on the top of the sheets instead of the oversized comforters. The shower and faucet had outdated fixtures and it took a lot to get them to go to the right temperature but they always got there eventually.

Overall, everything in the little motel room was a somewhat scuffed up (like the table and desk near the sliding glass doors out the back of their room) but it was clean and homey. It was a nice break from all of the high-end hotels that they had been staying at while traveling through the bigger cities to get to the more desolate part of the country where they were going to be staying for longer. While those hotels technically had higher quality items, it always felt specifically like they were in someone else’s house and they couldn’t never really get comfortable.

“Good morning,” Five’s gruff voice mumbled as the taller man pressed a kiss to Viktor’s hair.

Viktor rolled over in the bed so that he was facing towards his husband and away from the door and the ocean. “Good morning, Five. How did you sleep?”

“I always sleep well when I know you’re here, my love,” Five murmured as he leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a kiss. Viktor let out a small hum and returned the sign of affection. He knew that his husband had probably had a couple of nightmares and spent at least an hour awake trying to calm himself down from them, but they were both doing so much better. They had been through so much in such a short time that they were going to be struggling with PTSD and nightmares for a while, but they had each other so they knew that they could handle it.

“Mm,” Viktor hummed. He buried his cold nose into the crook of Five’s neck for just a moment before the other man let out a grunt and pushed him away. Viktor rolled back to where he had been laying before and laughed, his eyes crinkling at the sides.

Five moved so that his hands were on either side of Viktor’s shoulders and he was towering over the other man. “You sneak,” he laughed before he lowered himself down enough that he could kiss Viktor. The smaller man giggled as his husband’s entire body encompassed him so that he had the steady, breathing pressure on top of him.

They laid like that for a little while longer before they decided that they had to get up for the day. Five traveled down to the small area just off of the check-in desk that had a couple vending machines and then some breakfast offerings. The motel wasn’t like a standard hotel with a hot breakfast, but rather they had several different single-serving cereals, oatmeals, fruits, and pre-packaged baked goods available for the guests to come and get from six to ten in the morning.

Viktor stayed behind in their room so that he could ready their lunches. They were spending three days in the town that they were in and they were only on the second, so they didn’t need to pack the entire cooler. When they were doing activities they both tried to pack nonperishables or things that would be fine to sit out in the heat for a little while until they got around to eating them.

Once Five returned with their breakfast, they cuddled together on the bed while eating and listening to the sound of the waves rolling in. Viktor had unlocked their back door now that they were awake, so they were also getting the lovely smell of the ocean and fresh air flooding in from the outside. After a lifetime of scrambling to get back to each other and making sure that they could stay with each other, it was nice to have a quiet moment like this.

They finished eating and then packed up everything that they would need for their adventures before they got into the car. Five had managed to get the 1950s stingray that he had wanted when they were in the third apocalypse, even if that was only something that he had wanted back then because of the hormones flowing through his teenage-aged body. It was a car that they kept in incredibly good condition but loved to bring with them on their adventures.

Viktor was practically vibrating in his seat as they turned away from all of the buildings and cars of the town and into the lush wilderness. They had been coming to see quite a few things, including a couple of tourist-traps that they knew existed only to steal their money but were still fun to go and ogle at. The main thing that they had stopped in this specific town to go see, however, was the redwoods. There were several state and national parks littered down the coast line of Oregon and California, but the one that they were going to visit today was only a half hour drive away from their hotel.

The highway had been built down the middle of the grand trees, which meant that they didn’t have to pay an entry fee the same way that they had for Lassen Vista Park and Yosemite National Park earlier in their trip. Of course, they’d be making a stop by the visitor’s center so that they could donate to the upkeep of the park after their hikes.

They pulled into one of the parking areas and removed themselves from the car. Five was digging through their bag to make sure that they had bug repellent, plenty of water, and the food that Viktor had packed. The other man was sitting on the hood of the car with his shirt off as he rubbed sunscreen into every spare inch of skin that he could.

“People are ogling at you, my love,” Five mumbled as he glanced up to see some of the other people sharing their parking space staring directly at his partner’s mostly-naked form.

“They can look all they want, because they’re never going to be able to even touch me,” Viktor chuckled as he turned his head up so that he was looking towards his partner.

“Oh? And why is that?” Five asked. He set the bag down so that it was leaning up against the car and then walked over to his husband. He placed his hands on either of Viktor’s hips and dragged him forward so that the smaller man was practically in his lap.

“Mostly because I’m all yours,” Viktor replied as a cat-like grin spread over his face. He put one of his sunscreen-slick hands on the back of Five’s neck and then nearly dragged him down so that they could kiss.

Five didn’t mind as he was going to have to put some of the protective material on himself once Viktor had finished with it. The ex-assassin had spent his entire life in the apocalypse trying to find a way to cover as much of his skin as possible without overheating so that he could avoid sunburn, there was no way that he was going to pass up the opportunity to never have to go through something like that ever again.

They broke apart from the kiss a few minutes later after Five knew that everyone would have looked away from them. “Damn straight. You’re mine,” he leaned down and bit over the hickey that he had put on Viktor’s neck last night despite the sour taste that coated his tongue thanks to the sunscreen.

“You’re a dork,” Viktor informed him with another quick kiss to the lips. The duo then quickly wrapped up what they were doing so that they could get started on their hike. Five finished packing the bag and then sunscreening himself while Viktor secured the backpack over his shoulders. Throughout the day they would switch out who had it, and Viktor had decided that he was going to take the first shift.

They began down the trail hand-in-hand while staring up at the huge trees that surrounded them. Sticks and roots stopped them from staring directly up at the huge fern-like leaves that wove together to create a beautiful, shady canopy. There was plenty to see at the ground-level as well. Old animal prints from when humans weren’t on the path during the off season and at night had been near permanently secured into the mud. Sorrel was hiding from the sun where the branches and leaves above allowed the bright light to cascade down onto the earth. Several of the fallen redwoods also gave way to new life, supporting clones that were just beginning their stretch up towards the sky.

There weren’t very many people on the hike that they were on, but still quite a few. They hadn’t chosen one of the ADA paths so that they wouldn’t run into people with strollers, since those ones tended to be the most family and small child friendly as well. The path that they were on was relatively flat but very long and required the ability to walk up a couple of steps when they got to the middle. It was harder than a light stroll as the smaller loops supported, but not as hard as some of the more adventures hikes that took all day. Viktor wanted to be able to do a small loop in each part of the park if they had time, and Five was dedicated to making that happen.

They walked down the path, stopping a couple of times to enjoy the birdcall or identify one of the smaller critters that they could see scuttling through the underbrush towards wherever it was that they were going. They were happy, they were at peace, especially since they were with each other.

Of course, since they were Hargreeves through-and-through, that wasn’t going to last for long.

They had just rounded part of the path so that they were being looped back to the entrance when a crisp, clear cracking sound rang through the entire forest. It silenced all of the noise from the cars a half mile away from them and the buzzing of the critters and insects that called the forest their home.

Instinctively, Viktor harnessed some of the sharp sound so that his body began to glow with the raw force of his power. His head turning widely in circles as he tried to figure out where it had come from, his mind immediately assuming that it had been a firework or explosion. Five, on the other hand, was convinced that it had been a gunshot. He reached out so that he was holding tightly to Viktor’s shoulder just incase he needed to teleport himself and his husband away. The only reason that he hadn’t reflexively used his powers was because of how out of the habit he had gotten in their half decade of safe married life.

The cracking that followed afterwards let them know that what they had heard was not a firework or a gunshot, but rather a tree breaking down the middle.

Viktor grasped Five’s hand and quickly tugged them further down the path so that they could get away from the trees. His head was swirling in either direction as he tried to figure out where it was that the sound was coming from. The way that it echoed throughout the entire forest made it incredibly hard to pin-point where the tree was breaking and where they had to go to be able to avoid it.

Both of them could feel nothing but fear coursing through them as images of having their lives cut short by one of the huge trees that they had been so adoring of only moments prior flashed through both of their minds. The trees around them felt too ancient and magical to come crashing down like they were.

The smaller of the two men toppled back over a root so that he was flailing, his hands and arms pinwheeling before he tumbled down onto the packed earth of the path. Five’s attention was snapped away from where he was staring at the tree coming down a fourth of a mile away from them and back down to his husband.

“Viktor, are you okay?” he asked as he knelt down beside the other man so that he could make sure that he was okay. Flashes of their previous adventures, moments when they were both this scared and creating new traumas, were rushing through his mind as quickly as they could. It wasn’t something that he particularly wanted to be happening but he knew that it also wasn’t something that he got to stop just because he didn’t want it.

He didn’t reply for a while longer as he stared at where the tree had fallen. Leaves and dust rose up from the ground in a huge cloud due to the force that the redwood had come down with. Viktor could see shards of wood that had splintered off from where half of the tree had come down while the other half remained upright.

“Shit, that was so scary,” he whispered as he brought his hand up to his forehead. He was quivering slightly as the adrenaline in his system began to ease up and left his muscles exhausted.

Five let out a near-hysterical laugh. He had been through a lot, including a couple of buildings falling down as he scrambled to get out of them, but this had still managed to shock him. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Viktor’s mouth to try and reassure him that it was okay. “Certainly wasn’t what I was expecting to happen today.”

The smaller man let out a jerky laugh. He tilted his forehead forward so that it was resting on Five’s shoulder. “I love you, you know that?”

“I would certainly hope so, otherwise being married to me for this long is going to be rather embarrassing for the both of us,” he chuckled. He pressed another kiss to the top of Viktor’s head and then helped his husband up.

The other people that had been hiking along their trail when the tree had fallen were also rather shaken up. They were talking amongst themselves and pointing out towards the brand new, splintered boards of red wood. Before anyone had a chance to venture off of the trail to see what had happened, several rangers appeared. One of them roped off the edge with bright yellow tape to prevent any of them from being able to walk to the fallen tree without stepping over the barrier.

The other rangers walked through the path, carefully picking their way around the sorrel and ferns so that they could reach the tree and examine all the damage. The one remaining park worker turned around and then said, “I know that was scary but we’ve got it handled! Thank you all for your cooperation, please stay on the path. Out this way is a lot of poison oak and wildlife that should be left to the professionals to deal with.”

“Makes sense,” Viktor mumbled. He picked himself up from the ground and then brushed the dirt and crunched leaves off of his pants. He then ran a shaky hand through his hair and turned towards his husband. “I know that it wasn’t the plan for today but I think we should just go back to the hotel and try to calm down from this.”

Five’s mouth flickered down into a frown. He reached down so that he could tilt his husband’s face up towards him. “Vik, remember what Dr. Kelly said. We can’t let a small bad part of the experience make us stop from doing something that we were planning on and looking forward to. That’s what happened the last time we went on a roadtrip and we both felt extremely disappointed by it.”

“I don’t want to push you any further if you feel triggered, though,” he mumbled. He turned his head down as much as he could with the hand still underneath his chin. “I knew that there was a chance that a couple of trees could come down while we were here. I did a lot of research about it and the ground has been so dry that several redwoods have already come down on the roads and stuff. None in this area, so I thought that it would be fine.”

“Viktor,” Five stopped his ramble before he could continue to send himself into a deeper spiral of shame. “You did all the research that you needed to and then made an educated decision with the information that you had. You didn’t bring us here knowing for certain that there would be something triggering for us both. I also know how desperately you wanted to come here. I mean, you’ve wanted to visit this park for years now. The worst has basically already happened, so let’s keep going with our plan, yeah?”

The ex-superhero let out a small laugh. He tilted his head into Five’s hold so that they were still close together. “You know what, you’re right. Let’s go enjoy the rest of our vacation, okay? We don’t need to let one thing ruin everything else for us.”

Five leaned down and pressed a kiss to his husband’s mouth before they started back down the path so that they could continue the rest of their day. They were a little bit jumpier than they would have been had the tree not fell, but they were still having a wonderful time with each other.

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #ao3 #archive of our own #tua #the umbrella academy #tua fanfiction #the umbrella academy fanfiction #viktor hargreeves #five hargreeves #number five #oneshot #year of otp #year of fiktor #fiktor #five x viktor #viktor x five #harcest

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thedesolated · 1 year

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open to: m/f/anyone plot: your muse & Dexter are in the same safe haven/sanctuary for survivors & there was a recent break in of zombies/undead, Dexter feels responsible & has been keeping patrol a lot & is overworking himself to ensure nothing happens again. always down to plot more~ connection: fellow patrol officer, another survivor of the sanctuary, a friend or sweetheart/lover, would love some surrogate siblings vibes, anything works. location: the gates or wall surrounding the town/sanctuary where Dexter is keeping watch. early morning.

Dex always worked hard, worked too much, even when he was younger and his parents were off trying to find some sort of cure for his sister. This trait was only magnified to an extremely unhealthy one as it was tuned to a fine point where Dexter knew how to stay alive but still expend himself way more than he needed to. It was as much his coping mechanism as it was his desire to keep people safe, something that was capitalized within him by not only his parents but also the military.

He’d come to the realization that the reason why he took things upon himself so readily, was because it was the easiest way for him to deal with SHIT. When life gives you a bad deal, you make the best of the hand you’ve been given, perhaps that made him appear to be an optimistic person; that was his fault really, Dexter had taught himself to keep things bottled up in the process of becoming a guardian.That didn’t mean, however, he had just good thoughts, often times when he was alone, like now, his mind wandered to the darker and somber side of himself. He missed his sister, hated that he couldn’t have saved her, it would likely haunt him for as long as he survived, or, until he learned to forgive himself for something that was out of his control.

There was a bitter chill that ran down his spine and numbed his face, causing the man to suck in a soft breath and involuntary shiver, gazing upon the vast and eerily dark landscape on the other side of the barrier, watching for any sort of movement, his hands rubbed against his thighs a bit before he shifted and habitually checked the weapon strapped to his side, mostly trying to stay awake but also trying to keep his legs from falling asleep and becoming too restless. He’d been at his post for the last five hours, making it just a few hours before dawn and although he would not admit it, Dexter was EXHAUSTED, but the military spent too much time and money training him how to stay alive. So he would keep using that skill, that training, to keep others safe for as long as he could.

The tension that straightened his back a little was what told Dexter someone was near, a slight shift and only partial glance over his shoulder confirmed his detection. A wave of anxiety rippled through the man, possible conversation wasn’t exactly something he was mentally prepared for at the moment, he had been far too gone into his mind, lost in thought and reflecting, Dextera small breath to command the panic and making it subside as he cleared his throat, focusing his sight upon the outside once again.

“You’re up early.” It was the only greeting he offered aside from another small glance at the person, Dex wasn’t sure whether or not they had been searching for him or had simply come over to engage him socially, but he knew he wouldn’t get over the anxiety unless he initiated the conversation. He had always been this awkward and socially anxious person, even before the goddamn apocalypse, Dex would admit he was worse now, however, even with people he’d gotten used to by now let alone new people.

#indie rp #indie apocalypse rp #indie dystopian rp #indie horror rp #indie novella rp #indie dark rp #indie open starter #indie bi rp #indie zombie rp #open starter #| int. Dexter |

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ohmyitsfaith · 2 years

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Little survivor

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem!Reader

Summary: “[...] Just anything fluffy between five and fem!reader would do. I’ve been feeling very much into Dad!Five scenarios lately cuz I feel like him and the reader being parents post-apocalypse is such an unexplored concept. But also I wouldn’t mind just a simple sweet fic where Five gets shown a lot of love and adoration for once especially in a scenario where he’s insecure about whether or not he deserves the reader’s love and she reassures him.” - Requested by anonymous

Warnings: slight angst, talks of pregnancy, some swearing(?)

Word count: 1.8k

A/n: I saw this today and decided to try to do something with it, since I’m currently experiencing my once in a half year baby fever. So yk, this was perfect for me rn. And I hope that despite all the pregnancy talk, many people will enjoy a very adorable and loving Dad!Five.

Five never expected to find love. Hell, he didn’t even think he deserved it. After all, he did get himself stuck in this mess. It was all his fault, wasn’t it?

Well, his wife doesn’t think so. Good God, just the word makes his heart beat faster. His wife… He honestly still can’t believe it. Him, formerly Number Five, now Five Hargreeves, having a wife? His siblings and his younger self would flip! But it’s true. He has you and he loves you more than anything.

He met you after around fifteen or so years. At the time he was shocked to see another human being alive after the apocalypse. But you were there in all your glory. At first, he didn’t particularly like you, but it was better to have you around than suffer from loneliness. God, was he thankful for not giving up on you! Because after a year of knowing you, he finally admitted his feelings not only to himself but to you as well. And like a miracle, you told him you felt the same way. Oh, the joy he felt in his heart! Not to mention the day when you got married. Of course, it was a bit weird since there wasn’t anyone to officiate, but it was real and official to the both of you.

“Five, do you swear to be there for me through thick and thin?” you asked, smiling.

“I do. Y/n, do you swear to be there for me, when shit hits?” he asked, making you giggle.

“I do” you nodded and grabbed the metal band that Five found a few weeks back. “I promise to love and cherish you even after you get us out of this mess, until we die.”

“I promise to love you forever and get us out of this mess as soon as possible” he slipped the metal band on your finger as well.

“So…” you looked at your intertwined hands. “We’re married?”

“Yep” he chuckled and pulled you in for a sweet kiss.

You giggled into the kiss, not being able to contain your happiness.

“Stop” Five pulled away, laughing as well.

“I can’t” you laughed, full chest. “This is simultaneously the most amazing and the most ridiculous thing!”

You had to sit down on the mattress, your laughing seeming endless. Five watched you for a bit, chuckling as well, then joined you on the mattress, pulling you close to him and letting you laugh into his chest.

And honestly, thinking back, Five shouldn’t have been so shocked about the news months later that you were pregnant. You spent numerous nights awake, surrounded by passion. The only reason he didn’t think about it (and that’s the only excuse he has), is that your periods were so few and far between, that he didn’t think it was even possible. And you had to give it to him, he was right.

“What are we gonna do?” you asked, holding your stomach.

“I don’t know” Five sighed, heart heavy with anxiety.

“Five…” your voice wavered which made him look up. “What if neither I nor the baby will survive this?”

Five’s heart dropped and he was next to you in the blink of an eye. His arms went around your shoulders, pulling you in.

“Don’t say that, please Y/n” his throat closed up, but he tried to get the words out. “You’ll be alright. You have to be. You’re a healer, you’ll be okay.”

“I’m scared” you whispered, the tears escaping from behind your eyelids.

He held you that night, letting you cry on his chest.

It was a rough couple of months after that. Five worked extra hard to get you enough food and water, not to mention clothes as the weather turned to fall, then to winter. He was constantly worried about your well-being and hoped that everything was gonna go well. He probably would’ve been more sad about missing stuff normal couples got if the two of you hadn’t been stuck in the post-apocalyptic world.

But every time the baby moved around in you, both of you felt a wave of relief wash over you. You had to admit it wasn’t the most comfortable or ideal thing (as in being pregnant in the post-apocalypse) but the result was always worth it.

Delivering your son was a stress and keeping him safe and alive was even a bigger one, but after two years, you couldn’t be happier to see him happy and healthy. And Five was happier too. He loved his son and he loved playing with him when he wasn’t working on the equation to get you home. Five adored the little survivor just as much as his son adored him.

So it wasn’t a shock when his first word was…

“Dad!” your son squealed when Five came back from his resource search.

“My little crumb!” Five smiled and picked up the toddler, hugging him close to himself. “You said your first word! How amazing is that!”

“He’s been saying it so much today” you sighed. “Yet he refused to say ‘mom’.”

“Well clearly he has a favorite” Five looked at you, his eyes sparkling.

“And clearly he’s not the only one” you teased as Five immediately started playing with your son.

“Aw, don’t be like that” he pulled you in with his free hand. “I love the both of you the same.”

“Yeah, yeah” you dismissed with a smile and Five rolled his eyes before finally pressing a kiss to your lips. “How was it?” you asked as you pulled away, referring to his search.

“It was okay. I found food and water” he said, putting your son down to let him run around.

“Anything for him?”

“Nope” he sighed. “I’m not sure if we’ll even find anything in this wasteland. We really need to get out of here before he becomes a kid, or even worse, a teen. It’s gonna be really hard then.”

“I know, but you’re doing so good with the equation.”

“Yeah, but not good enough.”

“Five, we’ve talked about this” you warned lightly, grabbing ahold of your son, who once again wanted to climb the fireplace. “You’re doing really good and we will get out of here. I believe that.”

“I know and thank you love” he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“Always, my love” you smiled.

“Come here my little crumb” he switched up and took your son out of your hands. “Have you been good today?” he pressed kisses to his little head, making him laugh. “Did you behave when mom asked you to?”

You smiled as you watched them start their daily playing session, happy that as usual, they seemed to be perfectly in sync with each other. Oh, if anyone would know the love you held for your two special boys… your heart was so filled with love and appreciation for them. They made your world so much brighter and you were happy to have them by your side. You just hoped that you would have a chance at a normal life with your little family. And honestly? You wouldn’t mind a second child.

Now that thought sent your heart racing. You have thought about it for a couple of months now. Five was the most amazing dad you’ve ever seen and you just wanted to see him happy like this all the time. The only thing stopping you was the world around you. You didn’t want another pregnancy if you were going to just suffer through it and not get the joy other people in a normal environment do.

Still, you can’t help but wonder if Five would like it.

“I was thinking” you started as Five pulled you closer to him one night.

“Hm?” he hummed, signaling that he was paying attention.

“Well…” you stuttered. “As I watched you play with our son, a thought popped into my head.”

“What was it?” he asked, watching as you nervously played with his hand.

“I… uh…” you took a big breath, swallowing your anxiety. “I would really like us to have another kid.”

You felt Five stiffen and your heart began racing with anxiety. You had to say something else.

“Of course not now or anything because like we’re still in the post-apocalypse, but like once we’re safe and at home? Like… it’s just… I love how you interact with our son and I want you to have more fun you’re such an amazing dad, it’s a joy to see you. And my heart is always so happy to see you happy and seriously, you’re just so loving. Our son adores you and you clearly adore him as well and I adore you both and I just…” you couldn’t ramble on as Five pressed his lips to yours in a sweet, but wet kiss.

Wet? Was he… crying?

“Five?” you pulled away from him, scared you upset him or something. “Did I… did I say something wrong?”

“No” he sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “Oh God no, baby. I’m just so incredibly happy that you would want another kid with me…” he cleared his throat and grabbed your hands. “Do you really want that? Are you serious?”

“Yeah” you nodded, your heart calming down and eyes softening. “Of course, I want that. I love you so much Five…”

“Thank you” he buried his face in your shoulder and you could feel a wet spot quickly spread.

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him as close to you as you could. You ran your hand up and down his back, soothing him, but not interrupting his crying. You knew what this was about and you knew he needed this.

“Thank you” he whispered as he calmed down.

“I will always” you started, lifting his head so he met your eye, “always love you Five. You’re the love of my life and having kids with you is a dream come true.”

“I don’t deserve you” he whispered.

“You deserve me and you deserve so much more my love. You deserve our son and you deserve more love than this. You deserve the world Five and you deserve to be happy” you said, caressing his face. “I love you so much.”

“I love you more” he leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. “I’ll figure out how to get us home soon, I promise you.”

“I believe you. Now let’s sleep, alright?”

“Alright” Five nodded and kissed you once more before laying down and pulling you close to him.

Life wasn’t easy in the post-apocalypse, but having a spouse helped tremendously. And having a kid to take your mind off of the weird situation and help with the anxiety as well. Maybe life wasn’t great, but the little family you now have? You wouldn’t change that for anything.

[Masterlist] [Part 2]

#five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves x you #five hargreeves x y/n #the umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy x you #the umbrella academy x y/n #the umbrella academy five #tua x reader #tua x you #tua x y/n #tua five

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