#Autism shopping tm

[shiroselia]

my autistic ass going into the same three stores to buy the same things I always buy no hesitation all confidence you've never seen anyone more good at shopping the exact same things so fucking quickly

[batz]

thank u for agoraphobia advice it seems the general consensus is sorta just. going outside . which isnt awesome but also totally understandable ig ! but. A

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

Sorry y'all, I had a super shit day yesterday and completely forgot about WIP Wednesday, but I'm only a little late this time! Here's the next bit from the 3zun Jianghu Shopping Center extra (that's Nieyao for now but will become 3zun later)

So long as Gym Guy stays on the other side of the (admittedly very small) space and minds his own business, Meng Yao can usually tune him out about halfway through the wash cycle, if his task is engrossing enough. This late on a Wednesday night they’re usually the only ones in the laundromat, though every other week one of the nurses from the hospital in town comes in off her back-to-back graveyard shifts to run all of her scrubs through the same sort of sanitizing wash Gym Guy uses for his stuff. She’s cute, Meng Yao has noticed, and she’s always nice if a little tired around the edges. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t noticed that Gym Guy never bothers flirting with her even when she’d shown tentative interest in him at first.

He’s having a harder time ignoring Gym Guy’s presence tonight, but that’s got more to do with being unable to concentrate as well as he usually can. Gym Guy is still sitting in one of the too-small plastic chairs by the front windows pretending to pay attention to QVC playing on the small tv up in the corner, perfectly within the usual respectful distance he always keeps. Meng Yao’s just tired tonight, having interrupted his own sleep schedule, such as it is, to finally go and visit his father just on the other side of town earlier this afternoon, before his shift. The twinge in his ribs and his hip remind him that he should have probably decided to do it on one of his few days off, but then again he hadn’t exactly expected his father to have him pushed down the front steps without even letting him in the door of his house, either.

At least, he muses in relief, he hadn’t tried to go see him down at Golden Carp. Of course he knows now that his father probably wouldn’t have made such a spectacle out of him if he’d had so many witnesses around that aren’t his immediate family, but then again…a man willing to kick his own son down the stairs where anyone out walking their dog might have seen probably wouldn’t care who sees it anyway. (He supposes that if he had gone to Golden Carp at least there wouldn’t have been any stairs to send him toppling down, but hindsight’s 20/20 and all that.)

It’s just past 9 when the jangling of the phone ringing at the other end of the counter shakes Meng Yao out of his less-than-pleasant contemplation on his sorry lot in life. He winces as he stands from the stool to pick it up, the quiet clatter of the plastic handset against the base barely audible over the sloshing and chugging of Gym Guy’s wash cycle.

“Fitz’s 24-hour Coin-op Laundry,” Meng Yao answers through a hitching breath as his ribs - most likely fractured, he thinks - resettle. “How can I help you?”

Meng Yao has less than a second to brace himself and jerk the receiver away from his ear for the sake of his poor eardrum before the owner of the laundromat starts shouting loudly enough at him that he senses Gym Guy’s attention shifting from the TV to him. Great.

[titan-god-helios]

the autistic urge to perfectly categorise every single aspect of my identity is back and im now researching ocd at midnight and wondering if im faking it to be quirky tm or if this is a real and valid thing i might be experiencing (from what ive looked at so far it's likely that i have it but i feel like it just looks as if im diagnosis shopping from the outside, especially because ive already self dxxed with autism and adhd albeit with quite literally months of research so i know theyre valid diagnoses but imposter syndrome and hhhhhhh) that being said, if y'all have any resources and good research things//articles etc PLEASEEE reblog with em or link in the comments tyty

[iantimony]

tuesday line go up (derogatory)

hello from the end of my workday. writing this on my office computer as i watch my simulation crash in real time in the background. convergence line go up :(

listening: astonishing legends the body on the moor part 1, for some reason astonishing legends is such good Cleaning And Organizing noise to my brain. i've raised my eyebrow at some of their conclusions sometimes but i love a good unsolved mystery that doesn't focus on true crime what i can say

more 00s, just whatever shit the spotify algorithm spits out basically..."hard and heavy headbanging tuesday afternoon". i think for brevity i am going to focus on posting only the things that stuck out to me or are ear worms at the moment, which for this week is miss murder by afi, the kill by 30 seconds to mars, and out of control by hoobastank, especially the line in the latter after the chorus that goes 'and i may never know the answer to this endless mystery' that for some reason tickles my brain.

reading: Bring Back Those Pumped Italian Sodas (Anna Hezel): i LOVE italian sodas. the candy shop on main street near me does italian sodas and it is my favorite little treat to do a hot girl walk downtown and get a little bevvy to come with me. they whip so hard. bring them back everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!

elitism is the enemy of the people (Mina Le) and the linked The machine in the garden. (Emily Sundberg) ... discourse(tm) about What Substack Is For, which means nothing to me as a non-substack user. i use a rss reader to follow a few specific substacks but i do not use the platform even a little bit. sundberg seems to disparage the list format (shoutout to miss deb perelmen who i saw in there as an example of things that are pushed on the platform now) (deb's newsletter is one of the ones i follow with my rss feed lol) slash the concept of "list of content I’m consuming" which. looks at my weekly roundup posts. lol. i do understand to an extent, though - does my weekly roundup post make me a Writer(tm)?? i would kinda agree that no not really.

this zine that i think i reblogged yesterday is very cute.

watching: i saw the new alien movie with a friend! it was really good, i enjoyed it, i did look up the jumpscares beforehand because i do not do well with those in theaters especially the big imax ones, but it ended up not being necessary - the local theater here has no imax or any of the big surround sound gimmick things, which i actually prefer, and it also means the tickets were dirt cheap. 10/10 experience. the movie itself was fun, the correct amount of peen/vag imagery that one would expect from an alien movie. important to note that the dehumanization of an android character (who is also the only black character and strongly autism coded) is a big plot thing, it is not Good that he is treated that way and that is also a plot thing but it is important to know going in so it's not a surprise (thanks to someone in a server i'm in for pointing that out, i didn't clock it as being potentially triggering when i saw it but i was like ohh yeah that does make sense to warn people about). really good cast and plot overall, there was only like one point where i was like "whyyy nooo that makes no sense, why would you do that" (without too much spoiling, the gravity turns on and off in a portion and they were just. zooming up an elevator shaft using the lack of gravity. like why would you not be staying near the ladder. you KNOW it's going to turn off at some random point. anyways), but in general the decisions the characters made were really reasonable which made it very fun to watch the consequences of like, yeah, that is also the choice i would have made, shit. the ending made me go EUGH!! in a good way. lots of good easter eggs that i probably missed some of. made me weirdly nostalgic for my dad because when i was growing up he had a life-size hyper-realistic rubber facehugger model. he used to mime getting attacked by it. my mom hated that fucking thing. it must have gotten thrown out or given away at some point. anyways, as the kids would say: it's kino

thank u celestialtourguide for ur dropout login xoxo, i have been watching a lot of 'make some noise'. i love how sometimes you can hear the crew laughing in the background.

youtubesphere:

jimmy robins: The Fallout of Watcher's Betrayal, what sparked me looking more at dropout. also found out from the comments section that sam reich is son of robert reich ??? wild

finished the george r r martin problem. basically: yeagh

dangelo wallace: not gonna link em all but his videos on chapell roan, katy perry, blake lively, and starbucks. pop culture updates that mean nothing to me. good background noise tho

mina le: underconsumption-core, travel outfits, and Paul Mescal’s shorts, the luxury of privacy & the celebrity vs. influencer paradox. my boyfriend is a proponent of the tiny inseam shorts and i wholly encourage it. more of that, please, from everyone.

made in the moment: My Crafty Boston Apartment Tour. as someone who is also just moved into my own apartment alone for the first time and is in the process of making the space feel like mine, this hits interestingly.

playing: dnd as normal. i finally got to go mask-off, was replaced by a doppleganger like six months ago and finally got to pop off and kill some guys and beat the shit out of my friends lol >:b i have also moved the game that i run to biweekly instead of weekly. i just have too much fucking things happening and dm burnout real.

making: evil eye coasters! these made me very nervous because of how streaky the underglaze is! so i did the tedious task of re-coloring in around my sgraffito lines of my [redacted] coasters. clear coated them and crossing my fingers. these coasters are also too thin, two of them are too warped to use as coasters so ill have to figure out what to do with them. maybe drilling a hole (carefully...) so i can hang them up somewhere? the [redacted] coasters are like twice the thickness so i don't think they'll be warped as bad thankfully.

i also. made. mesopotamian foot bowl :) i did not have a reference image at the time because that happened to be when the t mobile towers went down for a few hours last saturday so i kinda just freeballed it but he looks. so silly i love him. i think im gonna have to modify him, i was chatting with the studio owner about it and she was like "if you threw that bowl on a wheel you should hollow the legs out, wheel pottery twists slightly as it dries and that plus the drying rates being different will make them just pop right off", which, i can always glue them back on! but i should give him the best odds possible. bonus lil tushy

i made a BIG BOWL !! it's not really clear from the image but it's the most clay i've ever thrown at once, i think it's like. 2.5 lb?? i didn't actually weigh it first oops i should weigh it. but it's like a foot across at the top. i put it on little ball feet to use as some sort of display bowl i think.

and there's one more bowl that is really unremarkable so no picture for now.

fiber art: made a fucking. magic the gathering card cozy for a friend that my local mtg group is putting together a care package for. it's so fucking stupid i love it. not gonna post a pic of the front, it's just a dark red border to hold the card in. i might outline the swamp symbol with matching embroidery floss (or maybe navy??) to make it pop more, might also sew a small square of fabric on the inside to hide the loose ends. colors were chosen to match his main commander which is braids

eating: FINALLY finished the gyudon. um . didn't cook many more recipes. i was going to do one pot chicken meatballs with greens and deb smittenkitchen's corn bacon and parmesan pasta last night but i spent two hours wandering walmart like my ancestors wandered the desert and came home and just had leftovers lol. the cooking will commence......today after i post this and go home.

misc: the midwest is hot this week! fml! on the plus side i don't think my average energy bill in my new place will be worse than my old one despite the worse insulation based on the mid-cycle energy report email i got, on the minus side now i am not splitting that cost so technically it feels more expensive :( thankfully i have finally been finishing the process of closing my dad's accounts so i will have a little padding in my bank account, plus i think i am supposed to get the fellowship i won deposited soon?? shrug. i booked some flights using credit card points that in retrospect i should have booked with Money because of that fellowship but oh well. i am still in the Everything Is So Expensive stage of moving as i finish getting furniture and miscellaneous home goods, hence the two hour walmart wander yesterday. i still need a couch. i think i am getting a frat house walmart futon for like $150 just because it's space efficient and won't break the bank and will be easy to sell when i move out. i should probably order that before i go visit home for 3 weeks ...... anyways. that's this tuesdaypost done and dusted.

[playername-player-of-games]

hey who's Atmos (totally not Korky)

atmos is half an oc and half a self insert! in short: he's one of King Joel of Mezalea's terracotta clones that was given sentience during the rapture/end of the world, and is now a Player who has to deal with the consequences of being alive! he has no idea how to deal with this and also has a lot of trauma!! yippee !!

in long:

Name: Atmos Cupid Phere

Age: a little messy tbh? however old joel was during esmp s1, but also as old as a terracotta clone and also as old as me so he doesn't exactly. have an age i guess idk. maybe 20 something.

Gender: terracotta (masc nonbinary? idk) - he/it/they

Species: Human/Moth hybrid, specifically a Golden Sun Moth!

Appearance: before he gains sentience: he looks like joel. After he gains sentience though, he looks more like himself! rounder features, unkempt brown hair with one golden streak through it (like joel's green stripe except it's gold) - he's got lots and lots of freckles all over, his eyes are brown with bits of gold. He wears amber-colored goggles, mostly on his head but sometimes over his eyes. clothes are a generic black sleeveless turtleneck with a brown bomber jacket overtop. tan-ish cargo pants with a lot of pockets. brown boots.

He's a golden sun moth- his wings fit through slits in his jacket. His antenna are long, thin, and black. He's like 5'4 (162.5 ish cm tall)

Personality: a mix of extremely petty and the most anxious man you've ever met in your life. constantly looking for ways to stay on someone's "good side" and is genuinely shocked when people dislike him. fairly sarcastic but you can never tell if it's on purpose or if he's having an Autism Moment (tm). He does like. "idle animations" or just certain things he loops back on. could be stimming, could be a tic, could be ocd, could be a mix of all 3 or something else entirely.

but he's also been an npc his entire life up until now - when he's triggered he returns to his natural state of "help and be helpful" and loses his words except for maybe a handful of phrases that all sound like typical NPC dialogue - ("how can i help?" "shipment's all packed!" "will that be everything?" "thank you for choosing [Joel's Mezalean Terracotta!]")

Backstory: He was one of Joel's terracotta clones- specifically one of the ones that worked for Joel's Mezalean Terracotta, first as a miner and then as a delivery guy. He was a clone up until the rapture, when he just sorta. blinks. and then he's here, in a world that's falling apart, and after a moment of indescribable panic, he instinctively opens a menu and leaves the world, and because he isn't whitelisted he can never, ever go back.

He doesn't remember being alive before this. Literally his first memories are of a world falling apart, and he has no idea how to handle that.

He's a player now. Everything he does has meaning and actually affects the world.

(both of these things are super jarring and have, unfortunately, given him massive amounts of trauma)

If he was in 4th life:

this is the first world he's been in since empires. (unfortunately it's another world that is very much going to fall apart.)

he's happy to make allies and friends and is actually friendly with a good chunk of the server, but he's sort of keeping everyone at an arm's length. (he doesn't know what to do with other players. he's never been one. he isn't used to being treated like he's human and it's really weird)

he set up shop in a place that's easy to access. "Atmos Phere's Mail Room and Pawn Shop", he calls it. Come with letters or gifts and he'll deliver your mail by next session at the latest.

Ever the terracotta clone, he trades mostly stacks of mined out blocks- things like stone, cobble, the decorative stones, deepslate- you can trade a stack for a stack, a piece of iron for half a stack, etc. He has some helpful items, like spare tools and armor, and some not so helpful items, like glow squid ink and buckets of tropical fish

he was terracotta on empires, but he isn't anymore. he's human now, and a different moth species from king joel (joel is a luna moth. this is a personal headcanon sjdfkl - idk why he'd be a moth without that headcanon. moths are cool idk)

Everything he needs is in his base. He doesn't need to leave, but he does. And he regrets it every time.

Despite the petal-soft wings on his back, he doesn't actually know how to fly, so they aren't clipped, or bound. he doesn't learn how to fly in this world. he doesn't know if he ever will.

His entire character arc is about learning how to be human. Learning to love, learning to trust. And it's ripped out from under him when the world falls apart all over again.

he also has an oc playlist on spotify that i am currently trying to put in some kind of coherent story order but a few of the songs are pure vibes and idk where to put them lol

that's my boy !! he would have been very fun in 4th life and i am currently rotating concepts very fast in my head <3

also ! if you haven't seen empires/have no idea what i'm talking about when it comes to empires, this previous infodump about atmos goes a little more into detail about that part :3

[bisexualgiftedburnout]

UN-POPULAR OPINION I THINK: I DONT LIKE WEDNESDAY, not the day, the show on netflix, ANYWAYS HERE IS MY RANT.

The internet is amazing, no one cares about my opinion and yet here it is.

Anyways..

Ok, so on paper it seems really good, and I love Jenna Ortega in it, she played it wonderfully and the latina representation was gorgeous, they nailed her character 100%. But the amount of missed opportunities on that dam show I swear. First of all and probably the most annoying TEENAGERS DONT TALK OR ACT LIKE THAT TF. l

Like I'm around that age and the amount of weird outfits and random coffee shop things and all that was so fucking annoying like a classic case of adults not knowing how to write teens. Also they never fucking went to class. Not once. I get that the plot was about the mystery, but they could have at least used it as a setting once or twice. Or implied there was homework, like, more than once. They went to plant school that one time but THAT WAS IT. As someone who is aggressively overwhelmed by homeowkr that I'm paralyzed by it this was widely inaccurate. And the use of the words "normie" and "outcast" was so fucking annoying. Like please stop.

Also, I feel like the plot could have been a little deeper, if they had just been more explicit about people they were representing. I've heard fan theories about how the whole thing was a metaphor for people on the autism spectrum, and I actually really liked that idea, I'm not nerodivergent, I don't think, but Wednesday seems like she would fit this well, especially with the plot line of her neglecting friends because she was extremly focused on her SPECIAL PROJECT TM. but they did zero with that. She spoke very briefly about how the pilgrams had stolen land, that was great, but that could have been taken further. When laurel said that thing about how nevermore was on "stolen" land I thought Wednesday was going to pull out books and maps and shit but NOTHING. Also, yes, I know, including a couple of black characters in the background was a ton of project for Tim Burton but come on, they could have gotten better roles/plotlines (one dead, one a dangerous bigot, one with a dysfucntional family who got the spotlight for one episode), there could have been more minorities in the cast, THEY COULD HAVE USED THEIR EXISTENCE TO TELL MORE STORIES. Wasted potential. And the one that bothers me most. WEDNESDAY ADAMS IS THE MOST QUEER CODED CHARACTER I HAVE EVER SEEN. SHES AND OUTCAST HER ONLY REAL CONNECTION WAS WITH HER FUCKING ROOMATE . THEY COULD HAVE KISSED, COME ON MAN. Wednesday was an "outcast", literally every gay kid ever. Come on. I'm too tired to lay out the arguments, but that bitch ain't straight, infact I'm pretty sure she's not even bi, girl's a lesbian. Doesn't want to turn into her parents who's whole thing is that they are madly hetero for each other that's a dead fucking giveaway. And enid's whole plot line where they actually name dropped conversion therapy was weird. And then she became a werewolf anyways? Like what was that plotline? No I'll never change for you, my disrespectful mother who wants me to be different. But I changed by myself to be that exact thing so it's fine now. Like let's be real, this was supposed to mean something, some writer thought this was meant to be like a thing about uniqueness or something, but even then what was this????

But you know what, the main plot was decent, I actually got invested, love Wednesday, and even though they hired adults to play children at least they didn't sexualize them.

[creativebrainrot]

anyway on a different (hopefully also more fun) note

i have been a little fixated on anthro oc designs & adoptable sheets. (the guy who hates making ref sheets and painting fullbody poses for ref sheets: "Oh Boy Selling Adoptables Someday Sounds Really Fun !! :DD" lmao) look idk how my brain works. this is A Good Thing. ref sheets are A Bad Things. (???) autism.

anyway. that sounds fun to me and also ive been fidgeting with some personally painted designs to slap on mugs in my dad's ebay shop. I'll be honest, I do not understand what the mug selling thing is that he's doing but he's really good with research so it's probably mostly on the up-and-up.

so that'll be fun to advertise eventually (hopefully soon-ish) here

havent had oc thoughts energy but for some reason setting up toyhouse pages is REALLY REALLY fun for me??? also will maybe possibly make my gw2 ocs' pages public. maybe. sometime. instead of restricting them to authorized users only. maybe .

and this is a health thing I KEEP. FUCKING. FORGETTING. ABOUT??????? but theres good news abt it. So i probably have PMDD. (premenstrual dysphoric disorder.) basically. PMS but Much Fucking Worse. Good news: chasteberry/vitex berry extract helps me A LOT and my dad found some for cheap that'll be coming soon. So hopefully next two months Will Not include Vent Post(TM) or any depression posting.

im very fucking tired of my hormones. :) they want to kill me but i stay so very silly.

[icanonlybe-human]

Wow this weekend fucking sucked.

It was my cousin’s memorial.

Here’s a list of things that went right:

- got my new phone (can now take photos for it)

- saw my family

- saw mum and dad

- helped younger cousin with her mental health

- treated myself to a little shopping

- was able to wash the car after mum, dad and Nan left

- AM was finally able to talk to me on Instagram after 2 months of silence

Okay, now the things that went wrong:

- memorial was a shit show where I didn’t know how to human

- people acted different around me (probably because they found out I went to the psych ward)

- learnt that aunt S and uncle B don’t fully see me as a fully developed human worth interacting with unless I’m with my parents

- had multiple massive depressive episodes

- realised the possibility of getting a rental with my circumstances in this economy is slim

- spent too much money

- parents left

- autism/anxiety played too much of a role in how much I could do this weekend

- relationship with nan has deteriorated

- mum worried about me

- uncle Bo ended up in hospital

- uncle Bo diagnosed with autoimmune condition

- found out Aunty N texts Dad over me, and I had to find everything out about uncle Bo through Dad instead of her (I thought we were getting closer)

- realised I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and am now mentally arguing with her in my imagination about how the last psych ward stay went (who wants to bet she’ll want to admit me again)

- wondering if I’m having delusions about the mental health system or if I’m a person genuinely pissed about capitalism and the current infrastructure built to “help” psychiatric patients

- friends are dropping off

- realised how lonely I am

- realised Ju is never going to be the type of person I need her to be (aka a safe space)

- had a “how the fuck did I get here” moment (not in a good way)

- dad disappointed about how little I’ve done for his design project (I’ve had no motivation, energy and/or time to do it and now feel super guilty about it)

- back to thought process of “only reason I’m making an effort to keep breathing is because the family couldn’t handle another loss” instead of “I want to experience life” like I was after the first round of TMS

So yeah. Full throttle depression. Anxiety overload. Frustration galore. Energy = negative one thousand.

Fuck brains, man.

[keagan--ashleigh]

Hellooooooo, says I while I rise from my cave, it's me, that gal that posts once every 7 months lol

So, I've been busy - not much in art but you know my job now is that I make websites so I guess I'm going to show you ! I am currently working on my portfolio, this is one version, I am making another one with Wordpress on which I'll put a blog and a shop as well, as I am thinking about leaving Etsy. So here is the bootstrap version (no custom javascript on it because we're just learning to do this at the moment): http://clementine.defiweb34.com/site-portfolio/

And here are some of the websites I've been working on: https://www.lp-store.fr/ - actual store I've made with my coworker for our internship The rest is mostly exercices like those two: http://clementine.defiweb34.com/exo-3_site-soins-v2/ http://clementine.defiweb34.com/eval-mogi/

And art wise, I've not been doing much because I am still having some serious executive dysfunction and it's just hard altogether - in my job it's actually easier because I have incentive, you know what I mean - for the store website I did I've made one illustration I am quite proud of. It's not really my usual style but it looks fun and I like it a lot:

Also I still do a lot of quick sketches, I'll show some of em but rn I'm supposed to work actually :o)

And on a more personal note I have been diagnosed with ADHD (and been denied autism diag because they basically decided I talked too well 🙃 - and I received a report from the specialists tm being 99% inaccurate recollection of stuff they think I've said (I've written a 8 pages doc for my psychiatrist to list everything they misunderstood & interpreted wrong which is what they based their diagnosis on). I'm tired x) (hence why I'm not trying to get a diag again for now, I'm too tired).

[izzyizumi]

{Pretends to be Shocked TM at how close it sounds.}

From the official (U.S. dub based/produced) {NOT written by Jeff Nimoy, FYI, And Yet} [still-official] guidebook: [Note: It’s written from “Tai”’s point of view!]:

“Izzy might be the smartest kid I know. And there’s really only one way to describe him - Izzy’s a computer nerd. One of the first questions I ever heard him ask about {the} DigiWorld was, {Dub version}: “Do you have Internet access?” He carries his laptop computer with him everywhere he goes.”

{Digimon P.S.P Game}:

{Sub version[s]}: (Huh, what a strange coincidence):

“{Dub version-implied} CDs make him think about information storage, not his favorite rock band. But I have to give the little runt a hand - he’s pretty brave, and his understanding of computers sure has come in handy in this digital world.”

{Sub version} [+02 Epilogue!]:

[from the Digimon Adventure official novels] (written by Adventure+02 head director/writer Hiroyuki Kakudou; Hiro Masaki, Koushiro’s main writer, also contributed about 1/3rd due to having experience in writing screenplays, thus, Kakudou asked him for help on it):

(Pictured Above: the one part of my diagnosis I’m actually comfortable sharing. That’s because other parts of it are private medical info y’know.): [Pictured below: my original Digi-T.C.G. collection. [Most still on hand] Still in original folder from childhood at time were my V.H.S. tape Bonus cards with the 1st 7 Chosen, as Kari was not included]: (Do you see some of the wear on the folder?)

“{Name} spent the entire time closed up in {their} room on the computer. Digimon and P.O.K.E.M.O.N are {their} passion. {They} spend countless hours on the computer writing stories about the Digimon characters. {They} have encyclopedia knowledge regarding these characters,”

[2020 reboot!Koushiro {even} knowing completely Unnecessary TM encyclopedia-like knowledge about WALTZING!!! of all things]

[“Your valued possessions”] {See: Autistic Koushiro series} [SPECIAL Interests + {Possible} Protectiveness over them]

(Multiple times, even in the 2020 version; Koushiro acting possessive over computers/tech and/or tablet):

“...has collected all the cards, and could talk incessantly about Digimon if a listener allowed. {Blanked out for private medical info reasons} most children are...”

{See: Posts relevant to formal speech patterns} [x] [x] [x] [Koushiro in the original version is also implied to speak using ‘formal’-esque Japanese speech.]

(Sora: “What about you, Koushiro-kun?” Koushiro: “Y-Yes!” [“H-Hai!”] {only light stammer being suddenly addressed, then firm): “I’ve always believed in Taichi-san before this, in any case.”)

“...over, never talks on the phone and is difficult to even take to the shopping mall unless {they} are going to purchase a Digimon item. If {they} are allowed to, {they} would spend the whole weekend watching taped Digimon and {PKMN} shows, and writing stories on the computer.”

“{Name} is perfectly content not having to interact with the outside world.”

SO YEAH. IF IZZY - or (Sub version TOO) Koushiro - was ever a character you HEAVILY (in any series!!) RELATED to - you might want to look into (if wanted!) an Autism diagnosis, because they sure thought I WAS. (The above was my middle school ‘evaluation’ that led to my eventual re-confirmed/re-evaluated diagnosis.) Thank you for your time!! Hope this can help someone / any Digimon fans!!!! (You’re welcome)

{Some Digi-Fans @ Me: ‘Explain Koushiro Izumi!!!1!’ mE: “ YOU ASKED!!!1! ”}

{ALL GIFS/PICS BY ME} {DO NOT re-post} [DO NOT re-post my diagnosis copies outside of this post] [I. WILL. KNOW] {PLEASE ASK TO USE, I spent some 5~+ years compiling them all!}

[transmechanicus]

For the asks thing, 25-37

Most Used Social Media Besides Tumblr: Lmao I have no such thing.

Best Friend’s Name: Irl i only got 3 friends, i don’t make em fight for dominance XD

Composition Of My Family: Mom, Dad, Twin Sister, Younger Brother, Younger Sister, two puppies

Chocolate or Sugar: Chocolate, i don’t like super sugary things.

Have I ever been on a date: Several, all with the same person, although idk if that counts since we were already a couple. Most were pretty typical, movies, a local coffee shop, I’m a basic romantic bitch that way.

Do I like rollercoasters: NO, the only contraption i hate more than rollercoasters is the fuckin drop towers at amusement parks. I had to go on one two years ago so my little sister could, and i have never experienced such primal fear in my life. That POS hell machine climbed up, dropped down, and i left my soul behind at the top. -100/10 PLEASE do not make me go on one ever again.

Can I swim: Yes but i don’t like to bc low key dysphoria and also high key brain is afraid of crocodiles in the public pool :/

What would you do in the event of an apocalypse: Protect the library with my life and physically archive as much of the internet concerning medicine and technology as possible until I became unable to do so.

Do I have any mental disorders: Idk if i need to crack open a psych textbook or something to puzzle out which are actually Disorders(tm), but in terms of what’s going on upstairs: I’ve had long stretches of depression, i got some PTSD surrounding my ex, and i have a hearty scoop of undiagnosed ADHD and/or autism.

Are my parents together: Ye

Favorite Color: The reddish brown color of rust!

[creacherkeeper]

aziraphale – autism

likes sameness and routine (has worn the same clothes for 80 years, still runs the bookshop over 100 years later, doesn’t change his hair)

sensory seeking (loves food and is shown to like a variety of tastes and textures)

special interests (books, specifically prophecy books. close up magic)

stimming (best quality = his wiggles)

hyperverbal (which is fine because when crowley doesn’t talk he’s like My Turn and proceeds to ramble for three hours)

attachment to objects (his books, his ring)

trouble with empathy (i’d say he’s more compassionate than empathetic and even then only when he wants to be. tends to say unknowingly rude things even to crowley who he’s known forever)

overwhelmed by social interaction (both tends to despise when people come to his shop, despite … it being a shop that is open for people to come in to, and goes much much slower than crowley when it comes to the development of their relationship)

loves justice + black and white thinking (believes in Absolute Good and Absolute Evil, can’t really get out of the angel=good, demon=bad binary despite being close to crowley all this time and being sort of a sinful angel himself, still believes the angels will stop the war because it’s the Right Thing To Do, gives his sword to adam and eve)

naive (trusts the angels until they outright attack him and still believes god will be on his side, is fooled by shadwell)

isn’t shown to have friends besides crowley  

 crowley – ADHD

big emotions/uneven emotional regulation (tries to play it cool but he wears his feelings on his sleeve and is prone to outbursts, takes out his feelings on his plants to cope)

gender fluid/atypical gender presentation (yes this is an ADHD thing (autism too) – he wears androgynous clothing as well as presenting as a woman in multiple instances)

rejection sensitive dysphoria (aziraphale doesn’t want to go to space? Guess I’ll Die)

Depression&AnxietyTM (god: I made a demon. aziraphale: this is just an angel with anxiety. also it’s never confirmed that he Didn’t want the holy water for exactly what aziraphale thought he did. prone to lamenting past mistakes & future worries)

punished for talking out of turn (gets kicked out of heaven for asking questions)

hyperfixation (space/stars)

would rather die than sit normally

impulsive (wellllll looks like we won’t stop the apocalypse let’s just live in space forever!! this is a good plan)

self-medicates (using alcohol and big bouts of sleep)

thinks out loud (he talks to god (which no other character does iirc) but also talks to himself when he’s alone in his flat (like when he’s looking at his space book))

attention span (aziraphale is talking and crowley is Not paying attention just like DUCKS! that’s what water slides off)

irregular memory (can remember conversations he had with aziraphale and how long ago they were but doesn’t remember the phrase “like water off a duck” for like two hours)

feel free to add onto these or add more characters! 

[blipblorpsnork]

like god okay what a small detail like. okay so like shoves all my thoughts into a cup and shakes it til they meld properly OKAY. So like I’m super used to third wheeling, and not even in an explicitly bad way. I walk a bit slow, and when I’m out with friends and we’re window shopping and shit if it’s three of us it genuinely always ends up that I get left out of conversation because I wander and am a bit? Idk like, zoney? Like wispy, when I’m out window shopping, with or without friends, I’m not sure how to explain that.

oh my god this is three miles long so I’m putting it under a cut

Anyways the thing is, people always end up walking ahead of me; I always get pushed to the back (partly because I DON’T like people walking behind me in groups unless it’s in a structured line, it freaks me out) and like because of that, and because I’m very bad with social stuff sometimes I almost always get excluded from conversations. I don’t know how to add to them, and I don’t get addressed because I don’t participate, so eventually between the autism and the hearing issues I just tune people out because it makes more sense to do my own thing a lot of the time.

Last night we were wandering around Walmart, the three of us, just kinda browsing and window shopping because our Walmart is WEIRDLY nice, like it’s one of the best I’ve ever been in and we get loads of cool stuff none of our other friends do, including J despite the fact that he like, lives maybe a half hour to forty minutes out from us near Atlanta. Like it wasn’t anything special; just looking at stuff and making dumb remarks and like. Plastic Mermaid jokes tm lmfao.

J literally made sure I was included the entire time in a way that didn’t even feel like he was going out of his way to do it. Like, he kind of wandered between me and E, and talked with both of us, and when E was going off on one of his tangents to himself (something he does a lot, which we all acknowledge and unless he’s addressing us directly we’re free to listen or not, at his behest; it’s just a thing he does so we aren’t ignoring him by not interacting, just for reference’s sake) J would like, point something out and make a cheeky comment at me, or silently show me a thing that I could ogle or touch because it was soft and stuff like that. And like E wasn’t really paying attention but J and I kept making jokes about all the shoddy plastic mermaid stuff in the kids’ section and kept finding more and more stuff to make increasingly hilarious jokes about, to the point he was like “This is my new aesthetic now” and I was like “Time to delete your page and make a new one!” (He has like 60K + followers on Insta bc he does loads of emo mua stuff)

Like we had so many little inside jokes and he and I kept geeking out over the FNaF stuff together and like, even the little tacky ribbons and bows (like the genuinely ugly ones) in the girls’ clothing section and how even though it was awful we both liked it and like!! Ya know!! And like the entire time all THREE of us were included, but not all the time at the same time if that makes sense? Like we didn’t all have to always be engaged, but we were still all involved, and like we each had little dichotomies going on between us as pairs (me and J, me and E, them two), idk if I’m wording that right lmao. But it didn’t feel forced and it didn’t feel excluding! Which?!

I’ve never had that. Like he always makes me feel like I matter and am literally a part of the group, instead of an afterthought or a tag-a-lolng. And like he does it in a way that makes me know he’s making sure I know, but also does NOT feel like he’s going out of his way to do it. Like it feels super natural. God like it was such small, little things dude like?

And E isn’t into FNaF pretty much at all, but knows we both really are. So he’ll point stuff out to us because he knows how much we love it, but he can’t really engage in the freaking out lmfao. But J was like freaking out with me left and right over so much stuff like over watches and plushes and figurines and stuff (all in Walmart like damn, now that I’m breaking this down we really DO have a good fucking store lmao) and we like discussed lore and made jokes and like.

I HAVEN’T HAD THIS IN SO LONG OKAY????

And then like, so I work somewhere I get an employee discount, and then an additional clothing discount (even on clearanced stuff, which is FANTASTIC because that means if we have clearanced shirts I like, I can get brand new clothing on the super cheap which is something I very much so value as someone who lives well below the poverty line) and because of that I managed to get two FNaF snapbacks for just over 5 dollars after tax, or just under, idr precisely. But basically two LICENSED OFFICIAL SNAPS for 5 bucks. These are 20 dollar hats lmfao. And I gave one of them to J because that’s why I got two of them, yeah? And so like, he got this new hat a week or so ago that he’s OBSESSED with and he wears it everywhere right now, and of course he was wearing it when he got here. I gave him the snap and he IMMEDIATELY swapped out his bunny hat for the snap, and then wore it the literal rest of the night. (Also? It looked REALLY gd good over the red wig he was wearing, god damn that was a look.)

So many little things, you know?? Like so so many holy shit. I’M NOT DONE AAAA

So then like when we got back we decided to marathon Monster High because E and I have never seen it and J is completely in love with it and does loads of cosplays and makeup looks for it on his account right. We marathoned 2 full seasons of it last night, all three of us bundled on the couch in separate blanket piles. (It was actually really fucking funny looking tbh xD) And like I mentioned he could use the blanket I made if he wanted so he spent the rest of the night with it wrapped around his shoulders dragging it everywhere lmfao and then like he mentioned he was in a bundle up and cuddle something quiet kinda mood (all three of us were pretty low energy yesterday so it worked for the best, I feel) so I gave him Ace, who is my current comfort plushy I got recently (he’s a Squishmallow!!) and he spent HOURS just hugging and cuddling and idly playing with Ace and it was the cutest fucking thing oh my g o d.

And like so he and E are close. Dating. I hate it. I still love E. I don’t want to. It hurts. It. Really hurts. And I’ve never really talked about it because I don’t fucking want to, it REALLY hurts me. And every time E would get kinda tentatively snuggly with J (they’re very considerate of me and kind of not sure what they are, so it wasn’t malicious or anything, but it was painful) I would get kinda quiet and just make sure I was focusing on the show or my phone. But by the end of the night, E was laying half on J’s shoulder, and J was sitting cockeyed and leaning heavily into me in a way that didn’t mush my spine or hips (usually a big issue just because I’m fragile lmfao) and like I was casually in contact with him for the last couple hours he was here and just.

So many small things.

And like god fuck you can all ignore this jfc xD But!! So his favorite favorite character, like kin-level seriously-relate-to-him-so-much cosplay-him-on-the-regs character is Jackson. And he really loves Holt as well cause duh of course he does. And like!!! I relate to him so fucking MUCH. And I’ve only seen two seasons but I was internally freaking out because of the way Jackson is and like the music being the trigger for Holt Hyde because I’m extremely sound sensitive and like!!! AAAAAAAAAa new character attachment babey and he was like SUPER SUPER SUPER excited that we both loved MH as much as we did and that I was so IMMEDIATELY attached to Jackson and just.

Gaaaaaaaah. I just. I’m happy. I’m in trouble lmao but man. Right now,,, I’m just happy.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i was just going to quickly mention hating ads for the good doctor series but then i went off about things for a ways

i hate seeing ads on youtube for a lot of things but im especially sick of the previews for the god damn series from The Creator Of House about the guy who's good at being a doctor but he's an immature self-centered jackass incapable of any emotional regulation he's autistic!!!

like look i never really was Into house but i mean i get that it was there to be reliably dramatic like, here's some possibly shock-factor weird medical scenario, rule out boring stuff, have a fancy idea, find out some new twist info abt the patient, condition worsens, have a few twists to discover the real thing, then end with teaching the patient to value themself or else to feel terrible b/c they deserved it or some third thing. like, sure. but its definitely extremely annoying that it sort of kicked off a trend of gloomy white guy protagonists who meet that "He's Good At His Job.............But He's An Asshole" role. as though being needlessly rude to everyone around you doesnt make you bad at what you do and is also justified in this concept of "Smart(tm) people are allowed to be mean to the point that their being mean is proof that they are smart, because they are constantly irritated and hampered by the clueless shitheadedness of those around them"

oh god this made me go off on a mental tangent about shemlork. god nobody wants that. it makes me forget i'd like read thru all the sh stories before the guy ritchie movies came out, which are a much truer adaptation anyhow and look at the completely different way in which they chose to exaggerate how the Genius protagonist relates to other ppl. god

anyhow i respect that house is entertaining and stuff but i dont think i can ever watch it coz i hate that trope. the idea that some guy can demonstrate his superiority by being petulant and snarky w/o consequence coz since he's a dude that doesnt make him a Total Bitch it makes him cool. and completely insulated self-assured impulsivity based on the first emotional response that enters your head = also uhhh, being driven, and knowing your brain is always the right one to the point that anyone else is superfluous, because you're a genius and a man and not Bitches Be Shopping. and that one dude is Wise enough to tolerate him b/c he knows that he gets results dammit! and everything else he does thats blatantly out of line for any human towards another human, much less a doctor towards colleagues or patients, is just the price you have to pay for him to figure out its the bubonic plague mixed with an allergic reaction to scrubbing bubbles

Anyways Besides Being Annoyed With The Trend Established By That Show...

so now we get "what if this guy is good at his job but he has autism", and of course everyone with an ounce of sense and decency should know that's not a "but", except that we get a lovely reminder that in this year of 2017 a general tv audience (and tv producers/executives) think it needs a But. and since its autism, it's gonna be a feel-good show. look how well he does wow!! and in this show its not just him being a Good Doctor(c) because he chooses not to let his autism affect him just as all people should do when they arent nt or are disabled, this is being taken a step further and he's a good doctor Because he's autistic. coz thats what autism should be ideally, either Suppressed or hidden away or else the idea of it being a magical superhero that lets its bearer be acceptable into regular society for normal good people but, more importantly, lets the person use their Power to aid allistic people!! a happy ending all around

like in the horror genre where anyone implied to have any kind of generic mashup of a mental disorder or something is either A Monster or a burden to the team until the team discovers that this person who was previously regarded as "useless and we should just leave them behind to die so they dont hurt our own chances of survival" actually has a flawless superhuman ability that is directly related to helping them escape whatever situation theyre trapped in!! point them at the problem and we'll get to live!!!!! maybe they'll live til the end too, or maybe they'll have to be left behind or prove they have feelings too by nobly sacrificing themself for the rest of the group, who are now sad because they just learned that person's life has value too after all!!! :'(

anyways, tldr, ugh. this is a shitty foundation for anything and a shitty reminder how ppl see autism. ppl with autism having different strengths and talents than any particular allistic person isn't some kind of "novelty" and god knows ppl only like that idea if its one that happens to seem "useful" to them. the idea that its secretly a superpower and autistic people see the world in some mystically different way b/c thats how autism works is shit. i am just so annoyed. fuck off

P.S. again it is funny that people love to describe someone w autism as like "having the _______ of a __ yr old", despite that being meaningless and inaccurate, because they think that being autistic = just being an allistic person but lagging behind, becoz you know who Actually fits the description of "an allistic person who apparently has never spent a moment developing certain social skills?" The Man Who Demonstrates His Superiority By Freely Insulting Those Around Him And Acting On Emotional Whims Without Real Consequence". i mean the "house" figure

pps remember how shitass benedict cumberbatch rejected the idea that his dumpass character could be autistic b/c he didnt think one should give real life autistic ppl "false hope"? lolololololol punch him full force in the nads ten times. is he just portraying himself. i hate his crap character and his stupid lemon face. is that damn series over yet. make a third one of the movies and why is martin freeman in everything, dont put him in. jfc.

and what does he even mean lol they already put in that stupidass line about "high functioning sociopath" or whatever like no!!! youre really not!!! just tossing in some mangled up nt idea of Jargon like clearly nobody gives a shit abt being accurate or not and youre just picking out some random "this means their brain is weird and bad right" concept and tossing it out there to be brilliant and justify any "magical ability" you want to use as a visual device so that you dont just have to show the character staring at the wall for a while. fuck off

they also shouldntve thrown in any mention of will graham in hannibal being autistic or whatever. seeing as he has a Magic Ability. like actually magic. there doesnt need to be any mention of autism especially as its never given any actual relevance to anything in the series. if its just being Representation is that truly the best? i wouldn't say that character or any other couldn't be autistic. but the fact that its a character with a Magic Ability / social isolation and virtually no characters on tv are mentioned in the show to be autistic unless to explain their magicalness / social weirdness!! means its not a great movie & even if it was just meant to be "progressive" or whatever independent of those factors( it wasnt) they shouldntve done it. the optics, man

final note: you know who's a good example of the sherlock holmes type observational genius / guy who doesnt fit in with his associates in his line of work coz he operates outside their rules, man? shawn spencer from psych. he doesnt treat his partner gus as beneath him or a hindrance ever coz he's not? he's essential to their success and shawn never even implies to have Superior Faculties than him. he just notices things. that one classic line of "i can notice things too, shawn. and i dont have to make this face *narrows eyes, furrows brow for several seconds* when i do it." and shawn kind of annoys the cops and everyone else and they have to Tolerate Him coz he gets results and he's allowed to be immature and also impulsive but thats not at all related to His Genius being a god given excuse to do whatever he wants at the expense of any others who happen to be in his path. he's just being zany

at least theyre doing that psych movie?? we need you!!!!!!

[myautisticpov]

I still find the idea of high and low functioning hilarious.

My psychological assessment where I was given my diagnosis basically boils down to

“Is a genius, but is terrified of going to the shops and forgets to eat.”

So, am I less autistic because I can do genius shit, like type and run a blog*, or am I more autistic because there’s a good chance I’ll starve to death while playing the new Mass Effect game?

Someone please tell me.

This diagnosis clearly stating that I’m autistic is very confusing.

*idk either but if you listen to AUTISM PARENTS TM** that’s all it apparently takes to be TOOO HIGH FUNCTIONING TO UNDERSTAAAAND

**FYI: Autism Parents TM refers to a very specific kid of allistic parent who pulls this kind of shit. #NotAllAutismParents, am I right?