#BRAZILIAN TRAVEL CARD

[sexy-celestial]

2023 is:

Regular facials, manis, pedis, massages, Brazilian waxes, lash lifts. Glowing skin. Glowy makeup. Fluffy curls. Microshaded brows. Laser hair removal. Perfect Rx Skincare. Veneers. Intoxicating perfumes. Shopping. Diamonds. Designer bags. Credit card rewards. International travel. Networking. Career certifications. Investing more. Brunch with the girls. Picnics. Farmers markets. Art galleries. Museums. Fresh flowers. Silk scarves. Big sunglasses. Beautiful lingerie. Silk robes. Receiving lots of gifts. Lots of sunlight. Hot yoga. Nature hikes. Tennis lessons. Green smoothies. Candles that smell expensive. Sleeping 8+ hours a night. Bubble baths. Studying foreign languages. Absorbing as much knowledge as I can. Book clubs. Pottery classes. Cooking with fresh herbs, vegetables, and spice. Champagne. Charcuterie & bruschetta. Gelato. Fresh bread. Ocean air. Hugging my loved ones. Pet cat. Giving lots of gifts. Journaling. Meditating. Gratitude. Volunteering. Donating to charity. Manners. Etiquette. Charisma. Therapy. Healthy boundaries. Radical personal responsibility. Positivity. Self care. Abundant love.

[blacktobackmesa]

SO I MADE A PROOF OF CONCEPT.

music used: kirby's epic yarn, mort garson's plantasia

voices: my beautiful self

Transcript:

GORDON

“Am I the asshole if I yelled at a clown?” Now I’m gonna pre-empt here. I’m gonna say it first, nobody else gets the satisfaction: What’s Gordon doing yelling at a mirror? Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

BUBBY

What-- Gordon, don’t be so hard on yourself!

TOMMY

We’re not gonna call you a clown, Mister Freeman. 

BENREY

Yeah, I like clowns. 

GORDON

Is “I like clowns” your way of saying I’m not a clown? Or are you just saying it? Just saying it to say it? [Beat.]

Benrey, do you not like me?

[Beat.]

BENREY

Clowns are cool, I don’t know what else to tell you. 

[SFX: The Banjo-Kazooie Jiggy Collection Jingle plays. This is Gordon’s stream donation alert.]

COOMER

Gordon, please tell us a story.

GORDON

So! “So I live in Brazil--”

[SFX: The Brazilian Football/soccer goal fanfare. An echoing voice shouts “BRASIL!” and is followed by upbeat music. The sound cuts off abruptly.]

GORDON

Thank you, Benrey. “I live in Brazil, and it’s a little common to have people in clown attire and makeup trying to sell you stuff at the subway entrance, and they can be a little annoying. They even started carrying a credit card machine so people can’t use the old excuse of ‘I don’t have any cash on me’.

DARNOLD

I love the wording of the singular credit card machine for all Brazilian clowns. 

GORDON

[rereading]

“Started carrying a--” I didn’t even notice that.

COOMER

They’re sharing!

BUBBY

“When I was your age, we only had ONE credit card reader, and we had to go all the way to São Paulo to borrow it for ONE customer!”

TOMMY

That must be why they hang out at the train station! 

BUBBY

Right! They have to travel!

GORDON

Come on, guys. Are you really gonna do this to someone who speaks English as their second language?

TOMMY

Oh no! We don’t want to make fun of them. We’re, we just like their words!

BENREY

English is hard. You gotta embrace when you say wrong shit. It’s like art.

COOMER

Gordon, we are creating derivative works from the words of the clown yeller. 

GORDON

Alright, fair enough. “I was walking to the subway that I usually go to. It was early for me, nine in the morning. I was going to work because my boss asked me to go early so the cleaning lady had someone there.”

BUBBY

Nine A.M. is EARLY work hours in Brazil? What the hell are we doing here?

DARNOLD

If I showed up to the Mixology department at nine in the morning, I’d be demoted back down to working at the gift shop!

COOMER

Doctor Freeman was able to hold down his position in spite of his frequent tardiness! 

DARNOLD

Doctor Freeman started the end of the world. 

COOMER

Darnold, that sounds like a skill issue.

GORDON

[beginning with a raised voice to restore order]

“Keep in mind that I was at work until midnight the night before and was going to work until midnight again, so I was a little tired and thinking about my day.”

DARNOLD

You guys got to go home between shifts?

Okay, that-- that sounds a little closer to my work schedule.

BUBBY

GORDON

“Getting close to the subway, I saw the clown and-- [laughs]

[SFX: Gordon’s stream alert faintly goes off. It is followed by the Geraint TTS voice, which says “BRASIL CAMPEÃO DO MUNDO”.]

GORDON

 --I saw the clown and immediately thought, ‘Oh fuck. He’s going to stop me’.”

COOMER

Gordon, I can award you one PlayCoin for every time I have heard that arrangement of words in that order.

GORDON

“‘He’s going to stop me to try to sell me stuff.’ So when I was approaching him, and he already started to talk before I even finished crossing the street, I was already putting my hand up and saying, ‘Sorry man, I’m good’.

BENREY

“No thanks. I already ate.”

GORDON

Exactly. “He tried to make me stop, even though I was on my third ‘dude, I’m good.’ And when he was still trying to make me stop, something came over me.”

BENREY

Lust.

GORDON

No.

Tommy, Darnold, Coomer and Bubby break into laughter. Gordon eventually laughs as well. 

GORDON

No-- [clears throat] “Something came over me, and I just yelled, ‘DUDE!’ and looked at him while I was still walking.” Presumably in Portuguese, so the tone might be a little different from “Dude”.

DARNOLD

Does anyone here know how you say “dude” in Portuguese?

BENREY

You don’t. 

TOMMY

Probably Mano.

GORDON

Chat says “cara or mano”. What was that, Tommy?

TOMMY

Mano.

GORDON

Mano. Good to know. “He looked fucking pissed, and when I was a few good steps away from him, he yelled: ‘I’M JUST WORKING! FUCK!’ And I yelled--”

TOMMY

He broke the clown code!

GORDON

--And I yelled back, ‘FUCK, AND I’M GOING TO WORK!”

BUBBY

A traditional call and response.

GORDON

And it closes with “Did I just create the Joker? Lol.”

DARNOLD

I dunno. I think the Joker would be pretty embarrassed if his entire backstory was getting yelled at once at the train station. 

BUBBY

“You wanna know how I got these scars?”

TOMMY

Yeah. Brazilian Joker-- 

BUBBY

“From sharing one credit card reader!”

[SFX: Gordon’s stream alert goes off once again, followed by the TTS voice saying “Five months. Lust.”]

TOMMY

--he would be a lot cooler than that.

GORDON

So aside from that, is OP the asshole for yelling at a clown?   

COOMER

I think they made a friend!

GORDON

You do? By yelling?

COOMER

These two working class heroes shared an important bonding moment about the difficulties of earning a living.

BUBBY

Yeah, some days you just need someone to scream the Fuck word at.

GORDON

Well, shit. 

BUBBY

OP made that clown’s day.

GORDON

I’m convinced. Yeah, all agreed?

TOMMY

Yeah.

DARNOLD

Yeah, no harm done.

BENREY

It’s part of that circle of life.

GORDON

Well, there we go. Not the asshole.

COOMER

The real clown was capitalism.

[SFX: A fanfare noise plays. This is followed once again by the Brazil Football fanfare, this time played in full without a cutoff.]

[pandaroboto]

Taskmaster Recording Report

This will be a long post and it has spoilers, so proceed with caution. More after the cut.

I will put in two different sections, what happened on warm-up and between takes and what they cut from the episode and I remember. WARM UP

Greg told people to stop sending sexy DMs because he would disappoint all the ladies/some guys.

He introduced Alex who came to the stage and hugged Greg's...knees?

Greg told the audience Alex was a master and could mimic any animal doing a dance style. He did a guinea pig first and it was the cutest thing, then a wolf (there is a picture of this that was used on a press release) and then a lion. When Greg asked about a dance style I yelled SAMBA with all my strength and then I saw Alex trying to samba as a lion. It was amazing.

Mark Olver asked who came from furthest to watch it and I raised my hand and said Brazil and he said BULLSHIT, you didn't come here just for that. I then explained I also was going to see Tim Key in Cardiff the next day and he was like "Oh..she did came here just for that then"

Again British people can't understand my name so I was referred as "Brazil" for the rest of the afternoon

I was also questioned about how do I watch the show and I quickly replied Youtube .

He made me list my favorite contestants to see if I could stay in the country. I tried to think which contestants were on the YouTube series uploaded. I then said Bob Mortimer, Mike Wozniak and Mark Watson (Alex smiled a bit when I said his name). Olver went " I can't believe someone in Brazil was watching the Woz fart a pile"

When I was telling I am from Brazil Alex waved at me and I was sure he knew who I was because long story short a bunch of friends really made me feel special and got me a signed book by Alex and he knew I was going to be there after travelling for 14+ hours.

At that point Greg said "Did you come for me???" and I pathetically went YES Y ES YES. He waved at me and IDK till today how I survived this.

They joked about a guy being first row and not being a fan,Mark asked who he had to fuck to get those seat and greg was pointing to himself.

They said we were clapping at the wrong places and that would confuse Alex and Greg

After the recording when I got back to London randomly meet Asim Chaudhry on Leceister Square. He was so sweet. We chatted a bit , I talked about how Sandman was big here, and that he had Brazilian fans and he got very excited and telling his mates about it

STUDIO

Sue got a massive round of applause. I think she and Julian got the big whoops from the crowd

The prize task was so much longer. Lucy went for ages talking about the ghost of the dog, and Greg kept asking questions. I knew most of it would be cut, but Greg kept mentioning during the episode and made me question how they would edit the references. They are bloody genius those editors.

Sam's Pinocchio made quite the impression, and Greg had a lot of fun with it. They talk about Pinocchio's penis, there was questions if it grew too with the lies. And Greg kept saying Pinocchio during the recording.

Sue's monkey orgy story was longer too.

When they showed Sam getting super closer to Alex, Greg mentioned Alex was very uncomfortable with touch and to prove that he got really touchy. BTW guys the amount of hand touches, and whispers behind the cards...they are insane

After the team task they were basically talking about how kinky it was, and Greg joked about Alex tied up , hogtie style and that he enjoyed. This was the thing I was most excited and I hope they put on the outtakes because I know how the fandom will be mental about it.

Greg is...MAGNETIC! Like the man demands attention and is very hard to not be looking at him. I kept looking at them at the studio and mostly ignored the tasks because I knew that I could see them later.

The live task took ages to set up and to reset after every round, Greg even joked we would spend the night there. It was more or less 3 hours of taping.

Greg interacted with us a lot because they had to reset the seesaw all the time, At one point he asked us to go "oooooh" that was show in the episode but he asked Alex using those words "Do you want the audience to oooh you while you pull it out slowly for me?" and he said with such a voice that...if I were a dude I would have a boner.

There was a point when Alex had to explain the outcome and he got it wrong and the audience corrected him to Greg's delight, he was very giggly. Sue got quite mad at Alex and the chains.

I guess it was this. At least that is what I took from my notes.

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Cross My Heart Job

leverage 4.09

(team comes down an escalator toward the main floor)

Sophie: Well, that trip was a complete disaster.

Hardison: It was a train wreck.

Eliot: No, it was a shipwreck. And you know how I know that? 'Cause I was in the wreck.

Hardison: Hey, man, I don't want to hear you complain. At least you don't have to fix th-the ear buds. You know what?

Eliot: Man, don't talk to me about the ear buds! I just fought three ex-Brazilian combat divers with spear-guns, underwater!

Hardison: I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it.

Eliot: You believe this? (taps Sophie’s arm)

Sophie: Ow, don't touch me. I am sunburnt everywhere. I hate playing the French heiress on the topless beach.

Parker: Oh, I don't know what you're complaining about. I didn't even get to see the emerald.

Hardison: Are you for real?

Eliot: Oh, my god, for the last time, it's not an emerald. All right? It's an island. It's the "Emerald of the Caribbean."

chaotic family on an escalator

- - - - -

Parker: The heart could be anywhere by now. They could have jumped in a taxi and driven off.

Sophie: No, no, we have to assume it's still in the airport, that they're planning to fly it out.

Parker: Why?

Eliot: 'Cause otherwise, we've already lost

- - - - -

Eliot: All right. They're in there. We're gonna need a distraction.

(Sophie takes off her pants and uses her long shirt like a dress, then shakes out her hair and pulls a pair of heels from her purse. Parker counts some cash)

Parker: All right, they told Linda to call from a pay phone for instructions once she made the drop.

Eliot (hands Parker money): Better hurry up, or they're gonna start getting suspicious.

Parker: It's a good thing we didn't stay on that island to see those emeralds.

Eliot: Parker, I just t...

(Sophie leans on Eliot to put on her shoes)

Eliot: You carry high heels in your purse?

Sophie: I always travel with heels. (takes Parker’s scarf and ties it around her waist) How's this? Distracting enough?

Parker: Hmm.

parker and eliot both look away, partially to give her privacy but partially to act as a wall so that other people won’t see her changing

notice the stark contrast between this scene and the other changing scene in this episode

- - - - -

(the clerk closes the doors. Inside, Eliot pulls the kidnapper between two tables while Parker talks to Tanya)

Paker: Yeah, that will work. We'll get you a little taser, carry it with you wherever you go-

parker and her tasers + being surprisingly good with kids

- - - - -

Nate (to Eliot): What do you got on this guy?

Eliot: He's not a professional. He has no combat training. Lousy Zanshin.

Parker: The what?

Eliot: He's a loc... It means "personal awareness." Thug for hire, but very well funded. (hands Nate tickets) Two first-class tickets, one for him and one for the girl, and that's how they got past security, and (hands gun to Nate) plastic gun. One or two shots in the barrel warps, but that's pretty much all you need, very pricey hardware.

Parker: Why would someone pay for that but not hire a professional?

Eliot: He doesn't want a professional. He wants a local so we can't trace him back to him.

- - - - -

(Eliot uses a cord to tie the kidnapper’s hands)

Eliot (to Sophie): Don't suppose you travel with handcuffs.

Sophie: No, not on this trip.

👀👀👀

- - - - -

Parker: Plus the ear buds are busted.

Hardison: And I burned our phones and our credit cards so we can't be traced.

Sophie: Most of our money went on bribing the waiter.

Eliot: We're operating in a secured area.

Parker: And my lock picks are checked.

Hardison: And airport wi-fi is a joke. Face it, we're practically naked.

- - - - -

(Eliot and Parker walk out of the Restaurant and part ways. Parker approaches a kiosk that sells computers and looks around, then crouches to look at the locks before walking away. Eliot approaches an electronic store before yelling catches his attention from a check in desk not far away)

Platinum Flyer: You guys! Hey! Platinum flyer over here. Come here. Somebody look at me.

Airline Clerk: Sir, please calm down.

Platinum Flyer: Ju... let me stop you right there, okay? I don't care what seats you have left, all right? Do you see this? (holds up a card) I am a vista Atlantic platinum flyer, all right? Is this card gold? No. Look at it. Is it silver? No.

(Eliot looks around, sees a magazine and picks it up)

Platinum Flyer: It's platinum, all right? So if you think that I am sitting back in coach with the rabble, you got another think coming, all right?

(Eliot puts the magazine over the Platinum Flyer’s briefcase as the man tries to drop his wallet into it)

Platinum Flyer: You can just forget it. I don't even want to talk to you anymore. Who's that? Thing one and thing two, come here. You guys. Hey!

(Eliot walks back to the electronics store and pulls the Platinum Flyer’s credit card from the wallet. He enters the store and grabs several packages of walkie talkies, then flags down a clerk)

Eliot: Yo, yo, yo. Come over here.

(Parker tries on various sunglasses, stealing a pair before walking away. She walks past again and steals a snow globe. On another pass she steals a bag. She returns to the computer kiosk and breaks the sunglasses to picks the locks, revealing an old style CRT monitor)

all this competence porn, it’s SO GOOD

- - - - -

(later Parker and Eliot take apart the walkie talkies at a table while Hardison uses an old computer at the bar with Sophie and Linda watching while Nate paces)

Nate: Hardison, come on.

Hardison: Look, man, this is like stone knives and bearskins, okay? Nobody's asking Eliot to fight a guy with a nerf sword.

Eliot: Damascus, 2002.

Hardison: Like you've been to Damascus.

domestic parker and eliot taking apart walkie talkies? eliot legit sword fighting with a nerf sword? amazing

- - - - -

(the clerk watches from behind them, amazed)

Hardison: Wh-what? Come on, man. Like you've never seen a man travel with a desktop before. Go.

LMAO

- - - - -

Nate: Right there! Right there. Him.

Sophie: Dean Chesney?

Nate: Dean Chesney, CEO of Vertronics defense contractor. I had my eye on him for quite a while, but he was never a high-priority target.

Hardison: Why not?

Nate: He was dying.

- - - - -

(Eliot sits down and his feet hit against the struggling kidnapper. Eliot kicks him in the head but he continues making muffled sounds)

Nate: Are you done?

(Eliot kicks the man again)

Eliot: Yeah

- - - - -

Hardison: After we get out of the public areas of the terminal, we work on level two. It's ground crew, tarmac access. It gets us from here to the private terminal.

Parker: How do we get that? Break Eliot's wrist?

Hardison: What? N-no, no. We just pick one up from where the ground crew left it.

[Locker Room]

Parker (opening combination lock): Yeah, this will keep my stuff safe, from a 6-year-old with the DTs.

(Parker opens the locker and removes a jacket. Eliot closes the locker and hits the lock on the one next to it, opening the lock. He pulls out a level 2 badge and hands it to Parker)

Eliot: That's two.

(Parker and Eliot begin to change clothes)

🔥🔥🔥 scene tho 🔥🔥🔥

also, notice how they start getting changed without turning around or anything, like hardison would have immediately turned around because that’s who he is. she literally immediately takes her shirt off without a care. he doesn’t even blink at it. eliot and parker have a very strong, nonverbal, physical bond because they’re similar entities. they understand each other on a deep level because of their pasts and there isn’t that type of need for modesty between them.

also they’re literally so close to each other when they’re doing this??? literally, personal space? they don’t know her

ALSO, eliot throws his shirt at the camera and idk it feels like he’s giving parker privacy from the “onlookers” (aka the camera) if you get what I’m saying,,,

- - - - -

Sophie: Well, we have to lure them out.

Parker: Oh, okay. Set Nate on fire?

Eliot: Settle down

she mouths “no” back at him and they have a silent exchange where she ends up smiling I love them

- - - - -

Hardison (pacing): Come on, Eliot. Come on, come on. Come on, man.

Announcer: Mr. Picard. Mr. Kirk Picard, please meet your party at door "E.

ELIOT KNOWS HOW TO GET HARDISONS ATTENTION. HE KNOWS TO MAKE A STAR TREK REFERENCE AND BAM HARDISON KNOWS WHATS UP. WHAT D O R K S

- - - - -

(Eliot gets into a cart that Parker is sitting in. She holds up the keys and hands them to him)

Parker: Let's ride

her SMILE and EXCITEMENT

- - - - -

Hardison: Excuse me. Uh, something's wrong with my pin. Can you reset it for me?

(Hardison hands the card to the guard, who scans it)

Guard: Can you confirm your old pin?

(the screen shows that the card belongs to a woman and the guard looks at Hardison in surprise)

Guard: Uh...

Hardison: What?

Guard: Wh—

Hardison: what? You got a, you got a problem? My little transformation? Go on, speak your mind. Yeah, I had some surgery, huh? A little nip, a little tuck, a little pop, okay? And now I am who I'm supposed to be. I used to be Francesca. Now my name is Frank!

Guard: Um...

(a second guard turns to look at Hardison)

Hardison: You got a problem? You... excu—excu—I didn't know this was the club. You all up in the mix, don't even know the flavor. What's your problem? (walks around the desk aggressively) You got a, you—everybody got a problem with this? Look, racism, sexism, anti-semitism? That's how you y'all want to play this? Cool. I thought it was a no-no in airport security, but I see y'all profilin' me right, left, and center, everywhere. You know what? Shame on you. Shame on your mama. Shame on your kids.

(Hardison glances at the monitor to see the pin number, then walks back around the desk)

Guard: I-it's fine. I-it's fine. I got no problem with anything. Uh, it-it looks like you used to, used to be a-a really pretty girl.

Hardison: Used to be?

Guard: A-and n-now you're a-a very handsome gentleman.

Hardison: You hitting on me?

Guard: C-can you confirm your old pin?

Hardison: It's 5135.

Guard: Uh. (scans the card) Okay, there. Try that.

Hardison: Thank you. (looks at second guard) You better re-adjust your peripherals.

Guard 2: Real smooth.

(Hardison returns to the card reader and scans the card, entering the pin)

Reader: Pin accepted.

Hardison: Don't care what anybody else says. Next time, I'm taking the train.

I can’t tell if this scene was transphobic or not ??? like, it could have been worse and he called out people who would be judgmental of his “transformation” ???

like there was like one other kinda transphobic thing they did in the show but I forget the episode

- - - - -

Nate: I know what you're gonna say.

Sophie: I think you should have a drink.

Nate: Okay, I didn't know what you were gonna say.

Sophie: Look, we don't like it when you drink, (pours him a drink) but we trust you when you do. We both knew this was gonna get personal. We need you to stay clear-headed. You let it get to you now, it's gonna go bad for all of us. Be very careful, Nate.

- - - - -

Nate: Sam would have been 13 this year. A teenager. Almost a man. I mean, you know, probably a big pain in the ass, but… Joshua Spin is getting out of that hospital bed.

(Sophie nods. Nate sighs and takes the drink, looking down at Sophie’s hand over his)

- - - - -

hardison’s GRIN when he sees all the computers in the tower 🥺

- - - - -

Parker: It took us 8 minutes to get there. It's gonna take us 8 minutes to get back. Wait. (goes around to the front of the cart)

Eliot: What are you doing? Wait. No way!

(Parker lies on the ground and reaches under the cart)

Eliot: Come on, Parker, we got to go! We got to get-- Let's go! What are you do-- Quit monkeying around under there!

(Parker stands up holding a piece of electronics)

Eliot: Did you just pull something out of the engine?

Parker: Yeah. Spark regulator, keeps the cart from going more than 25 miles an hour. Now we'll get there in 4 minutes.

(Eliot starts the cart and takes off quickly)

Parker: Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Yeah!

- - - - -

Nate: Last week on that island, you faked a volcanic eruption. How is this harder?

HE DID WHAT NOW

- - - - -

Nate: You just sell it to the tower.

Sophie: Massdot special?

Nate: Massdot special.

Linda: Massdot special?

Sophie: Yes! (takes Linda’s phone and makes a call)

[National Weather Service]

Rachael: National Weather Service. This is Rachel.

Sophie: Oh, thank God!

[Crab-a-Rama]

Sophie: I was just out walking my dogs, and I saw a tornado touch down!

(Nate pulls up pictures of tornadoes on the computer)

Rachael: Are you sure?

[National Weather Service]

Rachael: The current forecast don't indicate any severe-weather patterns.

Sophie: I'm sure.

[Crab-a-Rama]

Sophie: I took a photo of it with my phone. I'm sending it to you now.

(Nate sends a picture of a tornado to Rachael as he dials the phone)

[National Weather Service]

(Rachael looks at the picture in shock)

Rachael: Uh, please hold, ma'am. (places Sophie on hold and takes another call) National weather service. This is Rachel.

[Crab-a-Rama]

Nate: Are you asleep at the wheel? There's a tornado out here by the airport right now! A freaking tornado! Come on!

[National Weather Service]

Rachael: Bill. Bill!

Bill: What is it?

Rachael: We got calls here. I think we need to issue a tornado warning for the Cincinnati metropolitan area.

- - - - -

Chesney: --to make the top of the list. This is my only chance. I've planned for months. I have eight backup contingencies. I'm fighting for my life, Mr. Ford! What are you fighting for?

[Crab-a-Rama]

Nate: I am fighting for that 15-year-old boy that you're going to kill.

[Chesney’s Room]

Chesney: God helps those who help themselves.

Nate: And I help people who can't.

[Crab-a-Rama]

Nate: And God help you if anything should happen to that boy, because if he spends more than one second longer in that hospital than he needs to, I will make it my mission in life to end you.

[Chesney’s Room]

Nate: I will ruin you.

[Crab-a-Rama]

Nate: I will ruin your name. I will ruin your company. I will bring down everything you have ever touched. And when I am done, I will hunt you down--

[Chesney’s Room]

Nate: --and I will kill you myself.

[Crab-a-Rama]

(Nate hangs up the phone)

- - - - -

parker yells “yee haw” a lot and I love her for that

- - - - -

Pilot: Tower, field is in sight.

Program: We have you in sight. Clear to land on runway 1-8.

Hardison: Okay, flight 4-0-9. W-we have a visual. You are clear to land on runway 1-8.

Pilot: Roger. Clear to land.

(the airplane lands safely)

Pilot: Tower, we are down.

Hardison: Yes! Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about.

Pilot: Say again, tower?

Hardison: I'm sorry. No, no, I'm sorry. It's cool. It's cool. It's cool. Celebrate with me. All right.

hardison managed to land an airplane with 300 people on it with nothing more than a computer and a flight simulator and we STAN our intelligent man

- - - - -

eliot was always standing next to hardison in all the extra scenes in this episode and we love to see it

- - - - -

(Eliot looks at Nate and Sophie, then nudges Hardison)

Eliot: Let's go.

(Eliot grabs Parker on the way down the hall, Hardison follows them)

his lil pat on hardison’s shoulder? how he places a guiding hand on parker’s arm, leading her away? we LOVE to see casual touches and casual intimacy between them

- - - - -

so hardison likes to assemble model helicopters in his spare time sometimes and nate assembles model ships in his ???

- - - - -

Chesney: So now what? You can't report me without exposing yourself. And what's to stop me from trying again?

[Leverage HQ]

Nate: I am. (hits remote to bring up information and a video feed on the monitors) I'm watching you. I'm watching your money, your people, your company. What have you got there, a pulse rate of 86?

[Chesney’s Room]

(Chesney looks around in alarm)

[Leverage HQ]

Nate: Oh, look at that.

[Chesney’s Room]

Nate: Just jumped up to 104. That can't be good for you.

[Leverage HQ]

Nate: Make your peace now, Chesney. (continues putting model together) Because if I see anything, anything I don't like...

[Chesney’s Room]

Chesney: Well, Mr. Ford it seems you've killed me after all.

[Leverage HQ]

Nate: Oh, I didn't kill you. God killed you. I just made sure it took. (hangs up)

[clairerosetarot]

What is coming this month for you? PAC

Find out what is coming for you this month of May by choosing one or more picture from this PAC.

1 —> 2 —> 3

Decks used: Rider Waite Tarot, The Golden Future Orcale, Animal Spirit Orcale

———————————————11333————————————————

Pile 1 🌹🌸

Cards: 2 of Wands, 3 of Wands, & King of Wands

Intergalactic Travel, Planetary Cleansing Oracle

Brown Bear Sprit

-

Hello my pile ones! Here’s what I read, take what resonates and leave what don’t, if it don’t apply let it fly and let yourself be loved. 💛

So immediately what I saw for you was lots of wands energy coming from the deck! (I promised I shuffled and everything, lol!) this tells me that there will be lost of new energies coming in this month. I see lots of your creative energy bursting through and if you have been having any seasonal sadness or procrastination throughout these last few months you will soon be shedding that and a new burst of energy will be jolted into you.

With the conjunction of the 2,3 of wands as well as the intergalactic travel and planetary cleansing oracle I see that sprit wants a vacation/work trip to be underway for you. I sense this could be to a sunny place, maybe somewhere you have been saving up/think of for a while now while you were in the aforementioned winter sadness stage might be becoming further along in its process into the 3d babes! Maybe Hawaii/Singapore/Macau/Bali/Cancun?

If not that’s okay but I do see some networking opportunities opening up where you can share your passion with others who understand you.

With the brown bear and king of wands coming together in your reading, I see that you do need to take some action for this to happen, but sprit is going to make it easier for you! I’m hearing Miguel’s ‘Sure Thing’ here lol (great song! Listen to it if you haven’t!) but basically, spirit is saying “if you be the match imma be the lighter babe” Your guides want to match your energy!! Just make sure you are taking the time to show them what you want!

🌹🍀💚Extra Messages/Advice: Don’t overwork yourself, Mediate on what you want, 17 second visualization will help you, Goop, Brazilian Pride, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Chanel Capri, & Marley🌹💚 🍀

Pile 2 🌹🌸

Cards Pulled: 4 of Cups, The Lovers, The Hermit

Angels, Nature & Work Satisfaction Oracle

Canary Sprit

-

Hello my pile twos! Here’s what I read, take what resonates and leave what don’t, if it don’t apply let it fly and let yourself be loved. 💛

Ok so first things first, this is my work hard pile! This May you will definitely work harder towards your goals. I see you guys learning new money saving hacks an dI even feel compelled to say you might learn more about stocks/financial independence. Big money moves for the future happening!

I also can see some relationships, but not only romantic, more like friendships and new people you will vibe with! However with the Hermit in upright, you might not be a total buzzing bee and most of these relationships will occur online. Oh! Maybe you will meet some new people in like a online money making seminar or class where you will sign up for!

Future you will be thanking you for the slow but steady work you are putting in the May spirit says.

🌹🍀💚Extra Messages: Goat Shopping (?), Fragrance Signature, Cryptocurrency, TechNerd, Glasses, Neo, Big suit Energy 🌹🍀💚

Pile 3🌹🌸

Cards Pulled:

7 of Cups, Ace of Cups, Page of Pentacles

Travel and Spiritual Technology Oracle

Flamingo Spirit

-

Hello my pile threes! Here’s what I read, take what resonates and leave what don’t, if it don’t apply let it fly and let yourself be loved. 💛

So right away I see some of you could be quite shy or maybe not opening up your throat chakra these past days/weeks/months/even possible years for some you. Don’t worry, be happy, says spirit as you will entering a new phase that allows you to showcase that hidden social butterfly you have had within yourself awaiting to be bloomed.

Embarking on new Travel could definitely help you I’m hearing the song Living La Vida Loca and some of y’all could even be entering a lil’ ‘hoe phase’ LMAOO. Capri/Las Vegas could definitely help. And if any of you are at or above the legal drinking age, responsibly(!!) sipping on some pina coladas or margaritas never hurt anyone!

I also see that experimentation with new appearance changes (hair,clothing,makeup) could be on your mind and sprit says there is a reason for that. Your. Guides don’t want to change yourself, but rather unlock a new part of yourself that makes you feel free and comfortable. Some of y’all could suffer from social anxiety and aww babes I know how hard that can be! 🥹 You’re doing just fine but remember there is no benefit in holding yourself back. Your guides don’t want you to be afraid of anyone. Safely working with vibrant Goddesses who have found their power like Kali or Athena could be beneficial I’m hearing.

Annnddd if this resonates for any of you: the closet is where you pick your outfit of the day, not where we live in!

🌹💚🍀Extra Messages: Be Bright, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Vouging, Pedicure, First Class, Sex and the City, Hot Pink Liquid Lipstick, Suns out,Buns out! 💚🍀🌹

[thatdeadaquarius]

Aquarius’s Genshin Impact... MASTERLIST?!

☕️ Tip me an iced coffee?! :O

* = IMPOSTER AU = NOT dark/yandere!

* = Art made by me for the post!

☆

Turn on the background music?

Chronological-ish, so CHECK NEAR THE BOTTOM SECTIONS FOR NEWER POSTS.

(sorry about reformatting again guys...)

☆

Your Birthday! (ft. cute platonic Bennett)

...Whatcha listenin’ to Player?

You’re a walking speaker (sounds from ur memories)

Latino! Reader, You're feeling a little homesick... (mostly Zhongli scenario!)

You introduce Teyvat to the lovely music of KPOP (check the reblogs!!)

You made your babes gifts! ALL Characters/PART 1 - Travelers/Dainsleif, Pyro, Electro, Anemo

^ PART 2, of the gifts!! ^

Childe reacts to his voice actor's song covers

O Aquarius, dead stars you are, what is my horoscope today?

Razor, best boy.

Bennett, ft. Razor (part 2-ish!)

Qiqi, best girl.

Headcanons of an Avatar AU (the fantasy movies)

TCG Genius Invokation... wait, they're your Favorite Card???

* Imposter! AU while parenting Razor (non-yandere/not-dark version)

* Possession AU! - you can still control your characters, but by possessing them! PART 1

* Possession AU! - PART 2

Neurodivergent!Reader, Ganyu my beloved!

* Strawberry Scarameow.

You're an Army Veteran and you brought the gun

Minecraft AU!! :D ⛏️

Costa Rican Reader spreads their culture <3

* Possession AU Fanfic, only AO3 (Ongoing)

☆

Language Shenanigans!

OG Blunt Language in Teyvat AU! Post :) (check the reblogs for that post for awesome add-ons from followers!)

Blunt Lang. AU! Colorful Cussing

Blunt Lang. AU! Vine Boom every time you speak (+sprinkle of bilingual)

Blunt Lang. AU! Actually you’re just having to learn Teyvatian lang. that’s why ur blunt

Blunt Lang. AU! with a dash of Neurodivergent! Reader, your trying to be flowery... it’s not working...

Blunt Lang. AU! You're a writer! ...well now it's an ancient artifact and a bestseller.

Some more Blunt Lang. AU! fun AND more blunt lang. AU! fun :0

Paimon being rude in Sumeru

◇

Audio Processing Disorder (Reader with APD) Shenanigans, (mostly Diluc scenario!)

Neurodivergent! Reader stims! ...and Teyvatians thought that was your language...

Neurodivergent! Reader is a child/different ages randomly ft. Non-native English speaker

Teyvat’s countries have the Simlish versions of Japanese, German, etc.

Your Native Language is holy... except you mostly cuss with it

Slang words don’t translate well... or texting lingo

Tumblr / 2023 Slang doesn’t translate well...

...Teyvat is trying to make your slang words translate...

You’ve yet to realize that Teyvat has multiple languages (looks at hieroglyphics) ...is this Loss. the oldest record of language... “sus”

You know sign language and help out a lost kid, Teyvat melts AQUARIUS got isekaied?! with my followers??!! (check the reblogs too!) Nobody wants to tell You (god) that you’ve mixed up some words... You’re really out here just speaking gibberish, ya trickster god

You sound like an Animal Crossing character to Teyvatians

Godly game of charades scenario

You give up translating and just start running around (encoded/cipher! post)

You're an Eldritch God of Teyvat... so ofc no one understand you (check the reblogs too!)

You know French. You use this power appropiately.

Reader only writes to talk!

You're multilingual! ...Alhaitham is outside your door.

You're Brazilian, Teyvat is calm about this.

Ancient tablets nice... oh god its a hurt/no comfort fic.

*Eldritch God Reader Fanfic (thanks for 1000+ followers!!)

^^ part 2 of the above, also an ao3 link!

Teyvat doesn't write novels, but you do lol

☆

☆Taglists ☆

SAGAU ALL POSTS

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

Possession AU! ONLY

@justlostintheinternet / @assassinsnake101 / @sun-wokung

♡

Wanna join a taglist for something? Just message me:

" pspspspssss tag me (insert taglist here) !! "

Hmmm... I wonder what you'll get if you send an ask saying "aquarius, oh dead stars, what is my horoscope today?"...°.•☆•.°?

♡

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

[prettyboykatsuki]

warm-ups | sfw + kunigami + sofa

✭ tags ; implied nsfw at the end, coming home / re-uniting, established relationship, gn!reader 18+ | ✭ wc ; 1.4k (?????)

✭ a/n ; me when the random prompt generator gives me a random prompt and i have no clue how to execute on it. never written him before ever so Sorry

Kunigami thinks he should get to fight an airline service at least once in his life.

It'd be one thing if this incident was something happened once in a while. National traveling is already a pain in his ass thanks to customs. He's doing it so constantly - he's used to the strain. Waking up early, packing his things neatly, going through a million checks.

If he were a less ethical person, he'd take a page out of other pro's book and just get a jet for himself because frankly he's fucking sick of it.

This is the longest he's been completely out of the country before in his life. He's been gone for around 6 months now, training with the Brazilian National Team. It was a reward experiencing he'll admit, despite kicking his ass nearly everyday. He made good friends and the people were welcoming- someday he'll make plans to go visit with you.

But he's homesick beyond reasonable doubt. He misses his family dog. He misses Japan.

Most of all, Kunigami misses you.

He really considered not leaving because the idea of long distance didn't sit right with him. You (being the unfortunately considerate lover) you are encouraged him to go. He's thankful you support his dreams. You even surprised him with a visit because it fell on his birthday.

Which was thoughtful and he was so glad to see you but not helpful in quelling the ache of your absence.

Kunigami Rensuke loves you habitually. Maybe that's just how he operates (how he has after becoming a wildcard, that persists into his pro-career) but there's something about it that he never fails to act on. No amount of calling or texting has been able to scratch the itch, the need to love you.

You've been dating for the better part of three years and your anniversary is a few months away. Kunigami wants to marry you but he has to make more money first so he's been hustling.

(Not that you care about stuff like that. But as a pro and a man with pride, he's not really comfortable giving you any less)

It's a typical story for a lot of athletes but you were there before all the fame and publicity. You put up with all of it, all of his dedication and all of his frustrated feelings. Soothed him with gentle hands and a warm meal and a house that felt lived in.

To say Kunigami is grateful is understatement of the century. More accurately, Kunigami can't be without you too long. His life feels incomplete if you're not next to him. He's gotten heat for being soft but he doesn't care.

A wild card, a soccer hero - Kunigami has a lot of self-imposed expectations. But you? Not once have you ever made him feel bad about any of it. In a career where nothing is guaranteed, Kunigami is assured by your love. It makes him want to work harder.

You, of course, are nowhere near as clingy as he is. People often joke that you've got him wrapped around your finger. You laugh and disagree but Kunigami knows it to be true. Anything and everything, Kunigami wants to give you the world.

So six months has been a nightmare. Frankly, he never wants to do it again. His mood is infinitely worsened now because of all the delays. You have a tight schedule and you're not going to be able to come see him because of it.

So he's seething a little, despite it all. He really wants to make it someones problem because he misses you just that much. But alas, he already knows he shouldn't. He can practically hear your voice already.

("A day isn't gonna kill you, Rensuke.")

But it really feels like it will. He's moping the whole way home, even as his driver drops him off at his apartment - Kunigami doesn't feel like his life will start again until he sees you.

So, unlocking his door and coming into his abandoned apartment feels unceremonious at best. His first reaction is that something is a little off when he enters.

There's a noise coming from the living room and everything smells good. The house smells like linen, more precisely. His first reaction is that there's someone who broke in.

But upon entering further, traces of you start to appear like magic. Your coat on a hanger in the closet, your shoes on the rack and your house slippers missing. He doesn't want to get his hopes up, so he holds his breath as he walks into the living room.

Like some kind of miracle, Kunigami finds you asleep on his old beat up sofa. Now the new one, but the one he's had since he's first apartment. You're cozy in it too, hidden under a pile of blankets and wearing his stolen clothes.

The T.V. is playing an old comedy movie and there's a glass of water and all your things next to you. He's so happy for a minute, he really doesn't know if he should wake you up. Picking you up and plopping you into bed with him (maybe trap you there for a while) seems best.

But you stir awake before he even has a chance, eyes blinking up at him blearily, muffled under the covers.

"Rensuke?" You say, yawning aloud "That you? Or am I seeing things?"

What does he even do with his feelings?

"Not seeing things. I'm home."

You laugh pleasantly, sitting up rubbing your eyes. Your socks are pulled up to different degrees. Kunigami wants to marry you immediately.

"You're home," You say, happy with it as you open your arms up dramatically - inviting him in "Welcome home,"

It takes every ounce of restraint not to tackle you as he drops his bags on the floor and kneels between your legs to hug you. You're warm and soft, and Kunigami has missed you so much it's inhuman and cruel.

You let him nuzzle into the crook of his neck, palms soothing on the nape of his neck as you rub your cheek against his hair.

"How was the flight?"

"Pretty shit but it doesn't even matter," He says back, pulling away to really look at you "Doesn't matter at all,"

"You missed me that much?" You tease. He laughs out loud.

"Don't do that to me," He says, unable to stop smiling "You know the answer to that. I thought you couldn't come see me?"

"My boss' son is a huge fan of you, would you believe?" You say, yawning a bit as you lean forward to press your forehead to his "So I promised him a signature. He gave me 3 whole days off."

Kunigami laughs.

"Are you serious?"

"So serious. I thought it'd be better to surprise you at home. If I did it in the airport the paparazzi was gonna get pictures of you losing your marbles,"

He laughs at that, cradling your face in his palms.

"Yeah. Pretty sure I woulda tackled you,"

"You would've knocked me unconscious. You're so big,"

"You think I got a little bigger?" He prods. You laugh and Kunigami thinks it's his favorite sound in the world.

"Fishing for compliments five minutes in? Really? You did get bigger, your arms feel good. Very much wanna get crushed in them, so good work?" You say, squeezing his bicep. He grins.

"And the rest of me?"

"Guess I'll find out about your core 'n legs in a bit, huh?"

Kunigami laughs at that, the stupid wiggle of your eyebrows and the warmth of your body. He feels fucking giddy, in a stupid way since he's a grown ass man. But who cares, really? His life is good. He's never been so happy.

You make room on the couch for him and Kunigami hurries to join you - taking his shirt off and leaving him in his briefs before you climb to lay on top of him. You hug his chest.

"I got 20 minutes before I can't hold it in," He replies, his hands around your waist.

"Maybe I should stretch or something."

"I can help you with that," He offers.

You laugh, pressing a kiss to his mouth.

"No you can't, you fiend. Give me 20 minutes of cuddling before you render me useless to walk without assistance,"

He feels blood rush to a place it shouldn't go.

"Might have to cut it to 15,"

You laugh and hit his chest and Kunigami squeezes you even tighter. He loves you more than anything else in the world.

[dreamings-free]

by Tristan Kirk, Courts Correspondent | @kirkkorner April 19 2024

A woman who bombarded singer Harry Styles with 8,000 cards in less than a month during a stalking campaign has been jailed.

Myra Carvalho, 35, sent wedding cards to the One Direction star’s home and also penned him handwritten letters, Harrow crown court was told.

She arrived in the UK last December in her pursuit of Styles, and had been staying in a backpacker’s hostel in Earl’s Court.

After pleading guilty to stalking, Carvalho was jailed for 14 weeks and banned from contacting Styles for the next ten years.

Under the terms of a restraining order, Carvalho is also prohibited from attending any of the singer’s concerts or going to locations where she knows he is.

Carvalho, a Brazilian national, travelled to the UK without the knowledge of her family.

She pleaded guilty to stalking involving serious alarm or distress, and was also ordered to pay a £134 victim surcharge.

It is the second stalking ordeal endured by Styles.

In 2019, he was persistently pursued by Diana Tarazaga-Orero after offering to buy food when he saw they were sleeping rough near to his north London home.

Tarazaga-Orero pushed money and notes through his letterbox and tried to grab Styles as he went out for a jog.

Styles told a court he had been left “scared” by the attention and was forced to upgrade his security, including installing a panic lock on his bedroom door.

Tarazaga-Orero then, in 2022, broke a restraining order by barging into Styles’ home.

[nanda-writes]

College girl sells soul to pay rent (not clickbait)

“So… your last wish is to make a deal with the devil?”

The ghostly woman nodded.

“It won't be possible, look, you need a physical body to perform this type of ritual,” said the medium “and I can't do it for you, because if I did, it would be my soul on sale.”

What if I possess you?

The spirit's voice echoed, the candles in the small clamped room in which the medium worked began to shake, transforming the trinkets scattered around the room into frightening dancing images. This could work… in theory.

“Not going to happen. Possessions are expressly prohibited on University internships. And honestly?” she added “I wouldn't endanger myself for a job that’s not even paid.”

I can pay.

The human raised one of her eyebrows. The candle flames flickered intensely, the ghost was desperate.

“Pay? Sorry, but we don't accept drachmas or whatever currency ghosts use, only cash or pix.”

She was joking, of course. What she didn't expect was the disembodied woman's response.

What's the key?

“Excuse me?”

Your pix, what is the key?

It wouldn't be possible that...?

Is ten thousand enough? Half now, half later.

It's worth a try, isn't it?

The medium shared her key. A few minutes later, she received the following message:

“Bank: Your pix has been received! Vellota ltd. sent you 5.000 reais”

Along with several confused emails by Grandma Vellota.

Looks like someone wouldn't have to worry about rent for a long time.

Kethelyn Correia — 21 years old, necromancy student at the Brazilian Federal University of Mystic Arts — is a medium in desperate need of additional hours for college and money. Kethelyn accepted the first internship that came her way without hesitating, realizing too late it was an unpaid one. Fuck it, we ball.

After months of late rent, days and nights on ramen noodles and various odd jobs to try to survive, selling a soul to the devil didn't seem like a bad idea. Anything was better than going back to her parents' house.

And that's how she ended up, three days later, on Carlos' — a college friend, master's student in demonology and ex-boyfriend — terrace at 2:30am on a Wednesday.

It was a nice evening, the sea nearby brought them a salty breeze, refreshing the warm summer night. The street lights were very close, illuminating the terrace together with the candles, revealing the unceremoniously dragged mess at the corners of the terrace. Carlos said they needed as much space as possible, the chalk circle in the middle of the terrace was the only clean space there.

“Okay, everything’s ready” said Carlos “candles lit, circles drawn, incense burning. Has she memorized the chants?”

Kethelyn nodded, they had practiced on this part together.

Carlos blew out the last match, looking around nervously. His eyes looked big behind the thick glasses he wore, his curly hair dancing with the breeze.

“Great, but seriously, this ghost couldn't have chosen a simpler invocation? Why go full catholic? There’s so many easier options…”

“Her name is Alice, I don't know about the choice for the ritual, but… thank you. Seriously. You didn't need to do all that.”

Kethelyn was being sincere. When she asked for her help, she expected at most a borrowed grimoire and some tips on how to not die.

“No problem, ha,” he replied, hands on his nape “it's the least I can do after that mistake I made.”

The “mistake” in question was the trigger for the end of their relationship. He cheated.

He cheated in a game of uno, shuffling the cards in a way that gave his friend — some 19 year old snake kid he befriended while traveling abroad — the advantage, causing Kethelyn to lose a bet.

“Ah, yes” She sighed, Alice's spirit approached floating upside down.

Hm? Share the tea, sis.

“Mind your own business.”

Rude.

“She’s here?” Carlos asked, shaking hands making the sign of the cross.

“I still can't believe that you work with literal demons, but are afraid of ghosts.” She laughed, “obviously she’s here, she's the one who's going to make the pact, duh.”

“Oh, my saint” Carlos sighed, repeating the sign “You how much of a bad idea this is, don't you?” he spoke gravely “After all, why does she want this? She's already dead!”

“It's quite a story…”

***

Alice Vellota was a young lady from a rich family, you see, her parents were rich, her grandparents were rich, her great-grandparents were rich and so on.

Alice had everything she could want, except the person she loved.

Coming from an extremely Catholic family, it is not surprising that her love for Maria Eduarda, a college friend, was a big scandal. Her parents threatened to disown her if she pursued her love, all empty threats of course. Fortunately, nothing can stop lesbians in love, not homophobic parents, not even death.

But when Maria Eduarda suddenly passed away, Alice was devastated. Her only consolation was the possibility of meeting in the afterlife. She knew Maria Eduarda would be somewhere in hell — she was a Satanist after all — she hadn't gone to heaven! But, she thought, hell is huge... how can I find her among so many people? So, she decided to solve this problem in the most logical way possible, selling her soul.

I'm already going to hell, at least I can ask to be close to her.

The plan was perfect. She home alone and everything was set, she just had to sing the chants and…

A window broke next to her and figures started to circulate around the apartment with loud wailing sounds. It was just the neighborhood kids playing football, but the scare was too much for Alice, she had a heart attack, dying before even starting the ritual.

***

“So, here's the problem. She's supposed to be in heaven now. “Kethelyn explained “technically she didn't make any pact, but the desire to join her girlfriend keeps her on this plane.”

“Why didn't you try… I don't know” Carlos shrugged “convincing her not to go to hell?”

“I tried, believe me.” Kethelyn's eyes were dead-serious “she's as stubborn as a mule.”

“Oh my saint, give me strength…”

“If everything is ready, let's begin.” The necromancer looked at Alice's ghost and signaled her to come “Get in loser, we’re summoning the devil.”

Suddenly, the coastal breeze refreshing the dawn stopped, the candle flames flickered without wind, Kethelyn bent over her stomach, the lights from the nearby street lights went mad. Carlos looked apprehensive when suddenly everything just… stopped.

The breeze, candles and the street lights returned to normal, only Kethelyn remained in the same position.

“Kethelyn? Are you okay?” Carlos asked worriedly. He was about to touch her on the shoulder when she straightened herself on a whim, her curly hair covering half her face, a smile weirdly wide creeping through her face.

“Boo” the ghost mocked him in the deep voice of the possessed, “still afraid, scaredy cat?”

Kethelyn saw everything in third perspective, she saw her mocking smile and Carlos' pale face. It was a funny feeling floating around, was that how her customers felt all the time?

She wanted to tell them both to start straight away, but she had difficulty vocalizing her thoughts, she didn't have a mouth after all. How did Alice do it? In any case, she didn't need to do anything. She saw her body go to the center of the circle, Carlos raised the barrier and sat on top of an old freezer away from the circle, she — or rather — Alice started singing the memorized chants.

As electrifying as a ritual to summon the bad thing itself may seem, it's pretty boring when you're just a spectator. Kethelyn spent the next 15 minutes bored to death — hah! — she passed her time enjoying her choice of outfit for the night, a pair of pink cargo pants and a matching tight crop top — what? You have to look stylish when you're going to meet someone famous, even if it's the devil.

Suddenly, a strong smell of sulfur filled the air and an unnatural fog began to rise inside the terrace. From within the fog lights glowed like flames.

There he was.

***

Kethelyn had a lot of expectations about the devil, but she wasn’t expecting that. A white man, bald, wearing a polo shirt and the most hideous goatee. Hadn't Lucifer been the most beautiful angel in heaven? What a glow down.

Disappointing.

The Demon stood still for a while, staring. All the corporeal beings present froze. He might have an ordinary appearance, but his aura certainly matched his fame.

“…So?” The Evil One broke the silence “What do you want, mortal?”

Kethelyn saw her body swallow hard, her hands shake. Alice finally took courage and said:

“I wan…” she hesitated “I want to have a reserved place, for me Alice Vellota and my girlfriend Maria Eduarda Almeida, in hell. A place where we can be together.”

The Fallen Angel raised an eyebrow.

“I want so that the moment this soul of mine leaves this body,” Alice kept going, more confident this time “I go straight to hell and meet her.”

Sathanas began to laugh.

“In so many centuries of work” his laugh was strondous “this is the first time I've seen someone who wants to go to hell!”

He continued laughing for a few more minutes, bending over himself and slapping his knees.

“So…” Alice was distressed “you accept the deal?”

“Ah, that, err…” Old Harry wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “No.”

“Why?!”

“Sweetheart, do you think I'm stupid?” He said in a fake-offended voice. “I know that the soul inside this body died a long time ago.”

He laughed mockingly.

“I am the devil” he stretched the last word as if he was RuPaul “having the courage to lie in the face of the father of lies?” he clapped his hands sarcastically “You’re a real one, baby.”

Kethelyn could see her shaking, Alice must have been desperate.

“To tell you the truth,” The enemy continued, looking at Alice again “your soul is worthless to me. But hers…” Kethelyn didn't have a body at the moment, but she felt her soul shiver the moment Satan made eye contact with her, grinning. “Oh, her soul is very precious”

Why did she think he wouldn't be able to see her? He was the devil!

Carlos, who was just watching, felt chills when he saw The Old One pointing into thin air, he did not need to see her to know.

The devil wanted Kethelyn.

***

The Serpent made Kethelyn and Alice switch places, the sale of a soul should not be done by third parties, and Old Nick was more than willing to buy Kethelyn's.

“Not gonna happen.” Kethelyn denied the moment she got her body back.

“Come on, dear” insisted the prince of darkness with the warm gentleness of a salesman. “There must be something you want, do you want me to help you summon more souls for your studies? I can make all the sinners in hell available to you! You want money? Fame? I can do it in the blink of an eye! I have great references, artists loved me in the 90’s. Just tell me your price.”

“Can you help me get my degree while keeping my mental health?

“Unfortunately, reality-bending miracles are my father’s department.”

“Then no,” Kethelyn was determined “I know what you want me for. I will not send innocent souls to your domain. I may work with spirits, but I still have decency.”

Beelzebub took a deep breath.

“Well, I wasn't called here for nothing.” His facade fell, the warm voice gave way to a cold, cruel tone. “Either you give up your soul, and stay alive for another nine years... or you both come with me to hell, now.”

That was the last straw. Carlos ran through the old furniture and Nick Nacks squashed on the terrace to get the holy water and his other emergency supplies. If he had to fight the devil, so be it, but he wouldn't let him take her friend.

However, before he could invade the barrier, Carlos heard a yelp:

“Wait!”

It was Kethelyn.

“Lucifer Morningstar, I challenge you to a duel!”

Carlos wanted to tear out his own eyes, Lucifer grinned.

“And what are your terms, mortal?”

“If I win, you leave me alone and fulfill Alice's wish.”

“What if you lose?”

“...You can have my soul, as long as you fulfill her wish anyway.” She looked in the direction of Alice's ghost. “I know that fulfilling her wish is no big deal for you.”

From outside the barrier, Carlos was jumping, shaking his head, making an ‘’x’ with his arms, and mouthing ‘nooooooo’'. Kethelyn might be crazy, but she wasn’t suicidal, was she?

Was she?!

Lucifer pretended to think really hard.

“Okay, I accept your terms.” he smiled “And what do you challenge me to, little girl?”

Kethelyn smirked.

“Uno.”

Carlos was banging his head on the support pole of the terrace, and Alice — if she had eyes — would have them wide open in shock. They both thought the same thing:

She wants to kill herself!

***

“I'm sorry I didn't notice you before, Carlinhos!” Lucifer patted an inconsolable Carlos on the back.

The barrier had been broken, but Lucifer could not and did not want to attack any of them until the end of the challenge.

“It’s okay, Mr. Capiroto… it’s okay” Carlos repeated defeatedly. The two had met before, college projects can take you to unusual places, huh?

“So” Lucifer looked at Kethelyn “how does this… uno thing work?”

Kethelyn and Carlos looked at each other.

If the devil doesn't know how to play uno... they have a chance!

Carlos' eyes shone. Kethelyn looked at him smugly as if she had predicted this from the beginning — although it wasn't the case.

The humans took turns explaining to the prince of hell the rules of the esteemed — and supposedly — human card game, even Alice tried to help, mentioning observations and details the couple missed.

***

The clock was already striking at 3 am when the game actually started. Carlos raised another barrier for the participants. This particular barrier prevented either of them from cheating, a necessary measure for those playing with the devil.

The house rules say that the deck must be shuffled facing away from the players by someone who is not participating. As the only corporeal being left, Carlos had to take the dealer's role.

Kethelyn and Lucifer sat at the table found by Carlos somewhere in the mess. They both held their 7 cards from the uno deck, the starting card was in the center of the table, draw deck on the side. Carlos took a coin out of his pocket to decide who would start; Heads to Lucifer, Tails to Kethelyn.

The coin was tossed. Seconds of tension dragged on like hours. The coin fell into Carlos' hand. He opened his palm:

Heads.

***

It begins, Kethelyn's cards had nothing special, just a +2 red card as a special card and a predominance of reds, leaving with only one card for each other color.

The initial card, taken from the draw deck, was a green 3.

Lucifer started his attack, immediately launching a +2 green card. Kethelyn was unfazed, launching her red +2 card, doubling the attack and reversing the damage. Kethelyn, however, did not expect Lucifer to have a trick up his sleeve, as he placed another card in the pile.

+4.

Kethelyn had no way to counterattack this time, the medium let out a frustrated sigh as she picked up her eight cards: three red, three green, one blue and a special card, a red reverse.

“Color?” asked the medium.

“Yellow.”

Kethelyn nodded and threw three cards of number 7 into the pile, the bottom one yellow, the top one red.

Lucifer had no choice but to draw and place the same color.

Kethelyn places her red reverse card — drawn from the batch she just took — and then two number 4 cards, red and green.

Lucifer draws again and soon passes.

Neither red nor green cards… maybe the advantage is coming back to me. Kethelyn thought.

Kethelyn places her card again, this time two cards numbered 0, green and red, respectively. But the card Lucifer had just drawn was also red, so he places it in the pile combined with another card, changing the game's color to blue.

The game continues with blue cards until the devil places a card numbered 2, where Kethelyn manages to change the game's color to red again. Lucifer draws, and passes. But just one round later, he uses the same trick on Kethelyn, this time changing the color to green, Kethelyn places a card, Lucifer draws and places.

It's number 1, green.

Kethelyn ponders, she has three cards at the moment, the numbers 1 and 6 in red and the number 9 in green. She could try to change the color to red, she knows that her opponent doesn't have any red cards, but it would certainly inconvenience her later. She knows that Lucifer doesn't have any green cards either, and getting rid of the green card would avoid inconvenience, so that was the most obvious option, right?

Kethelyn wasted no time, playing card 9.

Lucifer smiled demonically.

— Uno! — he exclaimed, throwing the yellow card 9 on the table.

Kethelyn wanted to bang her head on the table, how had she not realized he only had two cards? What will she do now? She doesn't have another 9 card and much less yellow cards, she doesn't know the number or color of the last card, if it isn't a special card! She can't lose this game.

I can’t… I can’t…

The necromancer's hands shook as she tried to pull the next card from the deck, so much that the entire deck slid off the table.

Carlos approached it with an intense look, he looked Kethelyn in the eyes, silently asking her to trust him. Kethelyn didn't understand, but trust she did.

Carlos picked up the cards from the floor and explained that he would have to shuffle everything again.

Wait, will he…?

The game of Uno that Kethelyn lost last time was changed after Carlos shuffled the game, he knew many card tricks, including how to manipulate a deck without looking suspicious, and would never hesitate to cheat his way to uno.

But how? The barrier would prevent…

Kethelyn realized.

Carlos was outside the barrier.

The barrier unables Kethelyn and Lucifer to cheat, but that didn't count the Croupier.

When Carlos put the deck back, Kethelyn's hands were stable, she pulled out the top card...

A +4.

Kethelyn almost cried with joy as she threw the card on the table.

Lucifer drew his cards resignedly and asked the color:

“Red.” Kethelyn felt triumphant.

Lucifer played his card and Kethelyn followed without any problems, this time she was the one shouting Uno.

She placed the red 6 card. The only card left in her hand was the red number 1.

But instead of passing, the devil placed a new card on the pile.

A yellow 6.

Kethelyn felt a growing despair. She still had a chance, but it was frustrating. She was so close…

The human pulled a card from the deck and almost cried with joy for the second time that day.

It was number 1 in yellow.

Kethelyn could hardly believe her luck.

“I won!” Kethelyn announced, throwing the letter into the pile and standing up. “I won!”

Lucifer sighed mockingly.

“It seems so” he replied, and added, narrowing his eyes “this time.”

Lucifer stood up, assuming a relaxed posture as he looked in Alice's direction.

“Are you coming or not?”

The spirit looked dazed, her form flickering like candlelight.

“Already?”

“Isn't that what you wanted? No going back now.”

“Yes, yes” Alice alternated her gaze between Lucifer and Kethelyn “I just need to do one thing first, quick.”

“You know you can't run away, right?”

“I know!” She yelled before disappearing.

Lucifer looked at Kethelyn and Carlos.

“Don't think it's over yet, kids.” He gave another devilish smile. “I have as many tricks up my sleeve as you.”

Alice returned before the humans could respond.

“Let's go!” she exclaimed.

“Yes, let's go.”

Lucifer looked at the couple one last time, and pointed his two fingers first at himself, then at them in an “I'm watching you” sign, and disappeared into the darkness.

Before Kethelyn could open her mouth, a notification.

Bank: your pix has been received! Vellota ltd. sent you R$5,000.

Carlos looked at the cellphone screen clearly impressed.

“You know,” he broke the silence. “I kind of saved your life just now, so, I don't know... you could buy me a burger? As a thank you.”

Kethelyn smirked.

“Yeah, I guess we're even now, huh? I don’t know if there’s a burger place open at this hour, how about an açaí?

“Deal.”

They laughed.

Kethelyn wouldn't have to worry about rent for a long time.

[allthebrazilianpolitics]

Brazilian embassy in Lebanon urges Brazilians to leave country

Amid escalating tensions in the Middle East, the Brazilian embassy in Beirut is urging Brazilians residing in or visiting Lebanon to leave the country “by their own means, until normality returns.”

In its statement, the embassy also advises Brazilians not currently in Lebanon to postpone travel to the country: “For those who deem it essential to remain in Lebanon, avoid the southern regions, border areas, and other high-risk zones.”

The statement also recommends Brazilians to follow all safety guidelines issued by Lebanese authorities, be vigilant in high-risk areas, and enhance their precautionary measures.

Other guidelines listed by the embassy include not taking part in large gatherings and protests, seeking to be informed about the current situation in the country by following communication channels, checking that the passport is valid for at least six months; and carrying necessary documents such as a Brazilian birth certificate and/or a valid Brazilian or Lebanese identity card.

Continue reading.

[sexy-celestial]

2024 is:

Regular facials, manis, pedis, massages, Brazilian waxes, lash lifts. Glowing skin. Glowy makeup. Fluffy curls. Microshaded brows. Laser hair removal. Perfect Rx Skincare. Veneers. Intoxicating perfumes. Shopping. Diamonds. Designer bags. Credit card rewards. International travel. Networking. Career certifications. Investing more. Brunch with the girls. Picnics. Farmers markets. Art galleries. Museums. Fresh flowers. Silk scarves. Big sunglasses. Beautiful lingerie. Silk robes. Receiving lots of gifts. Lots of sunlight. Hot yoga. Nature hikes. Tennis lessons. Green smoothies. Candles that smell expensive. Sleeping 8+ hours a night. Bubble baths. Studying foreign languages. Absorbing as much knowledge as I can. Book clubs. Pottery classes. Cooking with fresh herbs, vegetables, and spice. Champagne. Charcuterie & bruschetta. Gelato. Fresh bread. Ocean air. Hugging my loved ones. Pet cat. Giving lots of gifts. Journaling. Meditating. Gratitude. Volunteering. Donating to charity. Manners. Etiquette. Charisma. Therapy. Healthy boundaries. Radical personal responsibility. Positivity. Self care. Abundant love.

[learningsanctum]

May 8th, 2024

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to offend anyone, this is only my complex and conflicting journey to connect myself to my culture.

Why am I ashamed?

What am I ashamed of?

Growing up my parents ultimate goal was to move to the USA, they told me "the green card makes your life easier". All they wanted was to make more money so they could afford a better education for me.

I went to private schools for as long as they could pay it for me and they still couldn't put Brazilian private schools on the same level of USA public schools.

They had me having English lessons for years. "English is the most spoken language in the world" my father said "you have to know English to be successful". And I was an impressionable child with corporate dreams to pursue, so I committed to the bit.

Soon enough I started writing in English.

Then, one of our acquaintances made it to the USA. He made the dream real, solid, reachable. We had hopes for a better life.

In one of our Skype calls he told me the weirdest - and most wonderful - part was the "dreaming in English", as he put it, when after a long day speaking the language you couldn't help but dream on it too.

In my mind, then, it clicked: the more English I consume the more native I become.

A though.

Everything always starts with a thought.

One damn thought.

It was what it took to put me on the road to self-hatred and to make me detach myself from my culture. All it took for me to segregate all the culture available to me- to categorize and "villainize" my culture as a whole. Music, poetry, movies, soap operas, everything was inferior if compared to the big nation.

My cellphone settings were changed to English and I proudly carried around the fact I spoke the language as a badge. I was over the moon when I first read USA texts and could understand them.

For long - too long in my opinion - I was the "English girl" I knew about stuff kids from my country around my age didn't because I would spend a lot of time on forums and alike consuming media like I was about to move to there any moment. I molded my personality to fit their standards so I wouldn't be a fish out of water once I got there.

I found friends who spoke English and taught the ones who didn't so we would speak it in school. A way to talk bad about someone in front of them. A way to mock teachers at the same time they would compliment us for being - god help me, this one will always haunt me - "way ahead of the other children our age". If I could go back and make they take it back...

American high school was the dream to be achieved.

So long being superior, knowing more, quoting Edgar Alan Poe.

"The higher you step, the bigger is the fall".

I didn't go to the USA.

Never even traveled by plane 'till this day.

And in no time, the lack of knowledge of my culture started to catch up with me.

High school took a tool on me. Of all the problems I had probably the frustration of being in Brazil was the biggest of them. Classes weren't interesting because they weren't in English. I didn't have to change classrooms every period and I wouldn't get my driver's license by sixteen. I didn't have a locker. There are no lockers on Brazilian high school.

I was devastated and fought furiously with my - this guy is a saint, I swear, watch it - Portuguese teacher. Professor, actually, he had a doctorate if I remember correctly. Me, a fifteen years or something old fighting a doctor on how Joaquim Machado de Assis is not "good literature". In my head, back then, it wasn't even literature worthy.

God, if I knew back then.

I wasn't "the prodigy" anymore. I was just rebellious. At everything. Closed in the trap I designed to myself and unable to connect with other teenager.

It wasn't until lockdown that I started to feel a certain need to be a proud Brazilian citizen. Not for politics, economy or raising poverty rates. Those are always present and I was never aware to them. There wasn't time to pay attention to my country's situation if my dream was a white picket fence house instead of a big terrain with a gate or bars and electronic security system.

With TikTok came the trends, and even in my self spite I couldn't help but keep my social medias American.

Call it irony if you will but it was an USA trend with a Russian song that brought me back to my roots. Or at least helped me question my actions towards my country.

"I'm just a simple Russian girl, I've got vodka in my veins, so I dance with brown bears and my soul is torn apart."

I stopped and then thought "after everything I have done and I am still not American enough. I will never be a USA citizen" and then "but I am American" and I was in shock. Because I always have been American. Not USA but Brazilian. Sharing the same America with them. Living on the same America they do.

Such a line of thought, however controversial, made me think that if I were to make an edit to this trend what could I use to refer to Brazil?

Making me follow all the way to the question I dreaded the most: "what do I love about Brazil? what is it that even makes me Brazilian after so long hiding from my nationality?"

To be completely honest I was stupefied by how quick the culture flowed in my blood and I realized:

I don't need Little Red Riding Hood. I have the Saci.

We don't have the big white house but we have a fucking palace in our capital.

I want to play games with Narizinho, Pedrinho and Emília at the Yellow Woodpecker farm.

I want to draw in any sheet a yellow sun burning bright.

I can read Capitães de Areia instead of Lord of Flies.

And I should study more about the anti-asylum movement and read about Barbacena's tragedy documented by Daniela Arbex in her GENIUS book Brazilian Holocaust instead of hearing more and more about the USA "gun problem" or "cameras on police officers' clothes".

I don't mean it as disrespectful or unimportant but I had spent so many time trying to reach the outside, the exterior, that I never once looked around to see the wonderful culture surrounding me.

The soccer, the music, the dance- God, I want to try capoeira before I die, I want to travel to see the Cataratas do Iguaçu and I want to truly understand my ancestors and the explosion of ethnics and cultures my country has to share.

And as the thoughts came and went I realized that I love being Brazilian.

"Festa de Ipanema, meu amor" - Movie: Rio, 2011.

Carnival, axé, samba, pagode, I want to dance.

Mônica, Cebolinha, Cascão, Magali, Chico Bento, I want to live at Limoeiro street.

O Auto da Compadecida (A Dog's Will), - and even Minha mãe é uma peça - it's a comedy I can laugh to with no effort, I can understand the accent and from which region of my country it comes from and I can relate to the joke.

Carolina Maria de Jesus is my Anne Frank.

Coconut, avocado, passion fruit, lime, mango, melon, cashew are not "exotic" foods, those are natural fruits I find with "seu" João at the small vending at the end of the block.

My fruits, my music, my tragedies, my country.

I still accepting this reality. But I don't want to be ashamed to put, even if under a username, in my bio, description or whatever that I am Brazilian.

It's part of who I am.

It's reality is not perfect but it's mine.

I'm not ever giving it up again without a fight.

[ariel-seagull-wings]

THE PRINCESS WHO GOT LOST IN THE FOREST

@themousefromfantasyland @princesssarisa @thealmightyemprex @shelleythesapphic @allthegoodbobdylanlyricsaretaken @softlytowardthesun @grimoireoffolkloreandfairytales @barbossas-wench @professorlehnsherr-almashy @tamisdava2

(Brazilian Folktale)

He was a widowed king. His daughter was more beautiful than precious stones and brightest stars in the sky. The king adored his daughter, but he was unhappy.

Never to have had a son who could, one day, inherit his domains and command his armies and the destinies of its people.

Even so, instead of getting married again and trying to have the desired, the king had made a decision: it would be his daughter, and no one else, the future queen and mistress of all she owned.

And the princess grew up, more and more beautiful, spoiled and difficult to dominate. She disdained dangers. She swam in the dark lagoons. She liked to take risks- along the roads, jumping over banks and fences with his sorrel horse.

One day, she looked for her father. She said she intended to go on a hunt. The king became worried.

He argued that a woman's place was at home, close to luxury, clothes, jewelry and perfumes.

The daughter smiled. She replied that she liked jewelry and perfumes, but also to travel, visit distant places and walk the roads facing the unexpected. The king, as always, ended up agreeing. Some time later, the princess left following a group of hunters.

She was elegant, wearing a velvet skirt and a pair of white gloves. The bush he became more and more closed and the girl became happier and happier. She went ahead of everyone mounted on her sorrel.

She walked so much, she did so much, she ran so much that, when she saw it, she was lost in the forest. That's not why she was worried.

As it was hot, she decided look for a river to quench her thirst. She ended up finding a fountain, drinking water and, to wait for the other hunters, she settled down on a rock and slept. She was in the most beautiful of dreams, when a prince appeared.

The youth, son of a neighboring king, he had never seen such a beautiful and delicate person before. He waited for the girl to wake up, but she, tired, continued sleeping. deep.

Night was coming. The prince thought it best to go get one carriage to take her. To mark her presence, he took one of her white gloves. girl and left. As soon as the boy left, the girl opened her eyes. Noticing dusk, she jumped on his horse and went in search of his companions.

Through the dark night without find anyone. She ended up arriving in a distant country. Afraid to reveal who she was and run the risk of being considered an impostor, she went to a store, bought very simple clothes and found a job as a maid in the king's palace.

The queen soon sympathized with the maiden, determining that she would keep company for the daughter, the princess, who, unfortunately, was mad.

The poor patient spent, from time to time, times, through incomprehensible moments of discouragement and sadness. At these times, She locked herself in her room, lay down on the bed and didn't want to eat or talk to anyone. nobody.

Furthermore, she suffered from delusions, sometimes she didn't know who she was, she heard voices, she danced without listening to music and, once, she even tore her own clothes and go out naked through the city streets.

The other princess, the one who had now become a servant, with pity, looking for treating the sick girl in the best way possible, decided to teach her how to play cards.

One afternoon, the sky turned dark and the lights in the castle and town went out.

Frightened, people ran, locking themselves in their homes. The created princess did different.

She sent the sick girl to wait in her room and went out to see if she discovered the reason for that unexpected lack of light. She walked and walked until she saw a flash in the middle of the bush.

As she got closer, she saw two huge, shaggy dogs standing in front of her. around a fire, walking on two legs and stirring a spoon, in a cauldron. Next to them, an evil-looking man recited:

"Turn that turns that while turning

The sweet princess can't think

Move as long as you stir

The sweet princess will go mad"

The young woman was not afraid. She came out from behind the bushes and, in front of the surprised characters, she said that the power in the palace had gone out. She asked for a fire to light a candle. She said more.

She revealed that, just now, she was in the middle of a lively game of letters with the princess.

She needed light to finish the match. Hearing this, the Evil-looking man widened his eyes.

"It's not possible!"

He said."

"Everyone knows the princess is crazy and she can't even think, let alone play cards!"

Pretending to be surprised, the girl laughed. She said the man was mistaken. She said that she had been the princess's maid for a long time and that the girl was very beautiful, smart and intelligent.

In the deck, then, she added, it was almost invincible.

Furious, the man started shouting:

"You mean you were deceiving me this whole time?"

And grabbing the dogs by the scruff of the neck, he threw them into the steaming cauldron. Meanwhile, the girl lit the candle, said goodbye and ran back to the palace. She found the lights on and the princess completely healed, as Her charm had come to an end.

The maid's fame spread around the world, reaching the ears of another king.

His daughter, poor one, unfortunately, was also sick. The poor thing couldn't speak.

Her father ordered the services of the maid, who immediately accepted the challenge. Arriving at the palace, she soon befriended the mute princess.

They both spent the day talking through gestures, making faces and laughing.

The maid, meanwhile, investigated, trying to find something she might be causing the girl's illness.

Without discovering anything, she asked permission to sleep in the molting room. The king agreed.

On the first night, as soon as the sick princess closed her eyes, the maid heard a noise. Pretending she was asleep, she kept peeking out of the corner of her eye.

A trapdoor opened on the floor of the room and out came a huge, dark, so-called dog, so ugly that, horrified, the girl was unable to continue with her eyes open.

In the next day, she looked for the trapdoor in the bedroom floor, but found nothing. At the second night, the same thing happened. The dog appeared and, again, the girl didn't have the strength to look.

On the third night, the created princess gathered courage and she took a deep breath. It was already past midnight. The palace seemed to be plunged into silence of death.

Once again, the trap door opened in the floor of the room, allowing the puppy. The animal walked on two legs, dragging its furry tail on the ground.

The maid just watched. The monster approached the mute princess, placed a golden ring on her finger and kissed her for a long time. Then he went back to the trapdoor and disappeared.

Quickly, the maid jumped up and ripped the ring off her finger, threw it out the window and went back to bed.

Before dawn, the dog came back and kissed the poor girl again. When he noticed that the ring was gone, he became very agitated. Searched the beds of the two girls, he spoke incomprehensible things, sniffed and crouched on the floor, examining the four corners of the room.

The day was dawning. Yelping desperately in the sun's rays, the dog jumped onto the trapdoor and disappeared.

The next day, the mute princess woke up talking.

The charm had worn off broken. And the girl called people by name. And she sang. And she screamed. And she danced.

Crying with happiness, the king organized a party, inviting the people and nobles of the Kingdom.

After a while, another request came from far away. Now there was a king who already didn't even sleep because I was so worried.

His son had met a girl one day at the middle of the forest. The youth fell madly in love but she had disappeared. The king was distressed.

His son, previously a giant of strength and health, had fallen ill and could not He no longer wanted to eat or know anything. For the young man, life no longer made sense apart from that maiden.

The princess who had once gotten lost in the forest felt that she must answer at the request of that desperate father and traveled. She found the poor prince lying in the bed, with eyes closed. The young man looked more dead than alive.

He held between hands a white glove. The maiden was surprised. It was exactly one of the gloves that she had lost one day in the forest.

"But I know that glove!"

She exclaimed. The youth remained motionless on the bed. The princess said that she owned that glove. The youth's voice came weak and hoarse:

"If that's true, you must have the other one."

"It's here in my hand!"

Replied the maiden. Only then did the prince open his eyes. When he saw the glove and then the girl, he gave a I jumped out of bed and, screaming, called my family.

He announced that he had found the person that he had been looking for so much and now he no longer felt like dying.

It was a day of enchantment and joy.

The princess revealed who she was and how she had gotten lost in the forest.

She cried. She said she missed her father. The prince asked the maiden to marry him. The princess's father was notified, and in less than a month, at the most beautiful party that ever happened, the wedding of the two young people was celebrated.

As bridesmaids came the princess who before could not speak and the other who, one day, was considered mad.

[hauntedtrait]

Íris is Juggling Juliana by @wrixie

Having grown up on a ranch in the interior of the state of São Paulo, Brazil, Íris never expected to be where she is now. A girl who grew up cleaning horse hooves becoming a model? Seemed impossible at the time. At 18, Íris moved to the city to attend university, with the goal of studying veterinary medicine to return to her hometown to practice in. However, during an event where she agreed to model a friend's designs, a scout was present and immediately impressed by her beauty, presence, and of course, her walk. They gave her a card for the company and told her to call to set something up. After weeks of biting nails and looking at the card, grabbing the phone only to put it back down again, Íris eventually said fuck it, and called them. Íris has spent the last 8 years modelling for various brands in and outside of Brazil, traveling to many places, a dream she always thought to be impossibly distant as a child. Now, she's moved to the US, with the intention of making a name for herself as an actress, dreaming of starring in the biggest hollywood films. But that has meant she hasn't had much time to meet new people, not having had many close and intimate relationships since she started modeling. Is this her second chance, or is she doomed to fail in love?

Private DL if chosen <3 more info under the cut

Likes:

self-care, being pampered, giving and receiving gifts, compliments. being outside in the sun, traveling, the beach, brazilian food

Dislikes:

pranks, people who make assumptions about her based on how she looks, not looking her best, authority

Fun facts:

never learned how to drive ( never needed to! she's used to being driven around lol ), can actually cook pretty well, especially her grandma's recipes, grew up with horses and cows, knows her way around a ranch, has visited every continent at least once, visits gift shops in every new country and city she visits to buy a trinket to add to her collection

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

ep 10 stray thoughts:

- prom forgetting nants face and realizing he likes nont more…….. screaming

- they actually went for chicken noodles

- hold on is this guy a reporter or tutor ?? also porsche better not be doing what i think he is

- hold on was aob also in a contract with daddy?!?!?! oh we’re finally getting the aob backstory aob enthusiasts let’s gooooooooo. aob baby come home to me i’ll take care of you i swear!!!!! please!!!!

- puen wants me…

- aob puen…………… i will be withholding my reaction at this time….. [explodes into a thousand pieces]

- firstzouey being iconic besties yet again i love them. first my baby boy…

- porsche don’t start beef with bobbed bitch you should know this!!! nvm he rolled up in a crop top odds are tipping in his favor.

- nonts dad can just get cctv footage, who is he?!?!?!?

- the product placement sidjshhdhdjsjd crying

- i KNEW the psychologist wasn’t a good idea. conflict of interest ass scenario first you gotta go outside the family for it

- no not the bribe?!?!?! soong baby boy get those whacks in!!!! oh shit what is he showing soong that made him freeze in those pointy ass shoes

- i love the friendship they’re showing this ep. THE FUCK DID PORSCHE COME FROM HE JUST APPEARED. teena being a comedic king

- is captain wearing the brazilian colors?!?!

- i don’t trust nont in a good mood… oh his parents are politicians. I BET ITS PROM IN THE MASK OH SHIT OH FUCK

- WHAT??!?! WHAT WHAT WHAT THE OLD GUY WHAT WHA

- kejdjjdu is that porsche behind the door?!?? “you don’t know that he hates you he might just be dead” like bro bffr oh it’s nont, nont bffr

- see porsche how don’t care how many crop tops you wear you deserve to have your ass whooped

- leaving captains nosey ass alone was a mistake keen. like ?? but to be fair his weird ass always up to something unpredictable

- hold on- what’s going down between keen and puen?!?!!

- NUTHPHOP MY BELOVEDS also what the hell DOES nuth keep in that cage NUTH IS MY SPECIAL LITTLE MAN THATS MY MAN SHOUTOUT TO MY MANNNNNNN EVERYTIME HE SMILES NATURE HEALS ITSELF ITS LIKE THE FIRST CHIRP OF THE MORNING BIRD AFTER A LONG HARD WINTER ITS LIKE THE SUNRISE AFTER A COLD NIGHT ITS LIKE THAT FIRST SIP OF WATER WHEN YOUR THIRSTY ITS LIKE LAYING DOWN AFTER A LONG DAY STEPPING OUT OF THE SHOW AFTER BEING SOAKED TO THE BONE IN SWEAT ITS LIKE THE MOST DECADENT CHOCOLATE YOUVE EVER TASTED LIKE WAKING UP WELL RESTED LIKE THE SUNSHINE LIKE THE BREEZE THAT CARRIES SOUNDS OF LIFE WHEREVER IT TRAVELS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET LIKE A REFRESHING RAIN LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE

- CAPTAIN YOURE TRIFLING ASS IS DONE YOURE FINISHED IM GONNA GET YOU

- zouey being the voice of reason, unless he’s wrong then he’s a clown just like the rest of em

- IS FIRSTS DAD SOONGS NEW SUGAR DADDY?!?!?!?!

- not calling first a monster, also what is happening

- nvm i don’t need to get captains ass keen gonna get him for me WHY DID THE CAMERA PAN TO THE MASK LIEK THAT?!,!?

- aob nooooo literally nothing more devastating than person who didn’t believe love was in the cards for them getting betrayed like nooooooo

- I KNEW IT WAS PROM WHAT IS NANT DEAD SO MUCN IS HAPPENING AHHHHHHHHH

what an episode… holy fuck

[143studies]

one of the best things about traveling is getting to meet people.

it's been less then 10 days that i joined this hostel i am right now in seoul and i already met a bunch of special souls... ⛰️♡🌙

here are some things i thought it was nice to share with you guys. at first i started this blog as a korean language blog but with time, i realized how passionate i am about all languages and all cultures. (read more!)

so for context, i got a habit from my mom to always give a bit of exchange (brazilian reais) to some of my foreign friends as like.. a piece of souvenir, something different that will make them remember me. but usually for exchange money, we keep it in our wallet for good luck.

i decided to give some bills ($2 and $5 brazilian reais) to my roomies and this is what i received in exchange!

photo 1, my roomie laura (38) who is half american and half korean. she didn't have any bills but she had some united states coins. i thought it was nice because (if i understood it right) she told me each state have their own coin illustration. so she got me those ones as a gift.

photo 2: my another roomie, baby evelyn (20) from taiwan got me some coins too and also a little gold turtle. she said i was supposed to keep it in my wallet to attract good fortune!

photos 3 and 4: evelyn didn't exactly give me this but she showed me. it seems? like a mc donalds? card from taiwan? she tried to explain it to me but i didn't understand bahahahaha.