#Bucket slightly rants in the tags

[dailykugisaki]

Day fourty-one | id in alt

Kugisaki looks so wack Everytime she's not paying attention, she's thinking of shopping, meaning a friend or a third more sinister and bad thing.

[missnedge]

Vulnerability (Starscream/reader pt 4)

Summary: Starscream agreed to stay with you tonight. You thought it would be a simple crash on the couch situation. But when have things ever been simple between you two?

Relationship: Starscream/you

Tags: Fluff, angst, mentions of loss, smut, passionate, kissing, oral, NSFW minors dni, 18+, yeah I gave you smut this time be happy

Written by Edge

Personal account: @hollister-mc

It surprised you that Starscream actually agreed to stay with you tonight. You could only hope he wouldn't get in more trouble when he got back to the Nemesis, you'd honestly rather he didn't go back at all but you doubt bucket-head would allow that. 

You sigh and finish putting on your nightshirt in your bathroom. You stare at yourself in the mirror, slowly running your fingers through your hair. Why are you nervous? You're just letting him rest at your place, you're not even gonna sleep in the same room since there's not really much space on your bed for you both… Would he even want your bed? How the fuck to Cybertronians even sleep? Or recharge?

Whatever, you can't stall forever. One final sigh and you exit your bathroom. Starscream was up and looking at various things in your room, currently examining a photo on your wall. Starscream looked at it with what can only be described as fondness. In the picture you stood with three children that he recognized, the very same kids that were with the autobots. The ones that you had sacrificed yourself to protect the day he brought you to the Nemesis. The autobots had taken the children in, becoming their guardians and forming deep friendships.

An uncomfortable pang of jealousy hit him. They always looked so happy. They cared for each other greatly. It's not something he wanted to admit to himself, but the thought of a team– no, a family was something he longed for. Oh how he missed his Trine brothers. The only silver lining from their untimely demise was that they didn't have to see the fall of their planet. It had been so long already, but the pain of their loss still felt like a fresh wound whenever he thought of them. 

You watched Starscream stare at the photo, his wings had dropped behind him, the fond look in his face was replaced with grief. You stepped a bit closer and looked at the photo, yours, Miko’s, Jack's, and Raf's smiling faces stared back at you. You glanced back at Starscream for a moment before clearing your throat softly. "We took this photo not that long ago, I had recently gotten a new camera and Miko insisted on taking photos with it." A warm smile spread on your lips as you recalled the memory. Starscream moved his gaze from the picture down to you. "You four are… close?" He was hesitant. You nod and smile at him. He glanced away for a moment. "How um… Did you meet them?"

You chuckled softly. "I actually knew all of them separately before they met each other. I babysit for Rafs' parents sometimes. I met Jack at his work once and we got along super well, we just bitched about our jobs for an hour. And I nearly ran Miko over with my car once and I've never been able to shake her since." You laugh at the memory, Starscream's lips twitch upwards as he watched you. 

You stop laughing after a moment, face falling slightly. Your eyes meet his and you chew on your lip nervously for a moment, debating whether or not to ask the question on your mind. 

"I'm sorry if it's rude of me to ask, I know it's not really any of my business but…" You take a deep breath and continue. "It's just the way you looked at the picture, it's like you were recalling someone… Is there anyone you're close with?" 

Starscream falters for a moment. "On the Nemesis? No. I rant to Knockout occasionally but I wouldn't say I have any… Strong connections. But…" He gets a far away look. "Back on Cybertron I had two younger brothers, they were killed early on in the war. They were the closest people to me." 

Starscream broke your heart for the second time that night. 

"I'm so sorry…" You whisper out. Starscream shakes his head and glances back at the photo. "It was a long time ago. I've moved on, but I still think about them from time to time." 

You nod slowly. "What were their names?" 

"Thundercracker and Skywarp." 

You crack a small smile. "Those are kickass names." 

Starscream lets out a bark of laughter. "If only they could hear that. I have a feeling they would have liked you, especially with how snarky you are." You laugh and send a smirk at him. "Did they enjoy annoying you as much as I do?" 

Starscream chuckles lowly and shakes his head. "Oh you have no idea." You giggle softly. "Damn, now I really wish I could have met them…" You trail off, a beat of sadness in your voice. Starscream turns and looks down at you, a warm expression on his face. "As do I…" 

You lift your head up and meet his gaze. Your heart seemingly stutters in your chest once you see the gaze he's giving you. You've never seen him so… Content.

It's hard for you to keep yourself grounded when he's looking at you like that— like he's seeing the night sky for the first time in his life. 

Starscream can't take his optics off you. These emotions he's feeling, they're brand new. He's had past lovers, brief, fun, intense, but a fast burn. He's never dived into the deep abyss that is passion, and dare he say love. It's quite frankly absurd that he even dares let his mind wander to such things, but the way you look at him… It's like he's finally being seen for the first time in his life. 

He's never talked about his brothers before, to anyone. Not even Megatron bothered to get to know his second in command. His brothers only lived in his memories, he held that close to his spark. It was the one thing he could have that no one else could. 

And yet… He told you. 

He shared his most personal memory with you, came to you in his weakest moments, and had been intimate with you. All of these moments, he was at his most vulnerable. And you, a tiny organic, held more compassion and kindness in you in your small fragile body than any of the countless lifeforms he's encountered. 

He should hate you. You're a human, let alone an alley of his enemies. He found organics disgusting anyway. So why was he so drawn to you? Why did he want you so badly?

Starscream slowly raised his arm, his servo nearing your face. You felt a strong sense of Déjà vu, recalling the night where he first came into your house. You had sex and then before he left he almost touched your face, but last second he stopped himself and left without another word. You wonder if he's going to do it again.

He looks nervous, you give him a soft smile. His servo touches the right side of your face, his temperature has increased since he first arrived. You leaned into his touch, turning and kissing his palm. He made a choked sound, you glance up at him again, a light blue glow dusting his face. 

Starscream feels like he just entered zero gravity. The warmth that you gave off, physically, and emotionally was intoxicating— addicting even. You raised your hand, resting it on his servo that was placed against your cheek. Something inside him snapped. 

He leaned down and crashed his lips into yours, eliciting a surprised gasp from you. You shut your eyes, raising your arms to touch him. Starscream immediately noticed you trying to reach him. He snaked his arm under your rear, lifting you effortlessly up. You yelped at the movement but he cut you off, thrusting his tongue into your mouth. You moan and wrapped your legs and arms around him, arms carefully moving along his chassis avoiding any damages. 

Starscream moves his servo from your face to the back of your head, running through your hair. You shudder at the sensation of his sharp talons moving across your scalp gently. His tongue glides over yours, his movements hungry and desperate. The sensation of his mouth is sending you into a sensory overload. The texture is firm and flexible, making you wonder if they're able to taste the same way humans do. You're lost in the motion, mind buzzing from the way he's making you feel. 

After a few moments Starscream moves towards your bed, laying you down gently all while continuing to kiss you with the intensity of a damn supernova. You slowly come out of your daze as you feel your back hit the bed. You pull back and place your hands on his chassis, panting softly. "Wait." Starscream pauses and looks down at you with a slightly worried expression. "What's wrong?" 

You run your hands over the smooth metal. "Shouldn't we wait until you're healed?" You breathed out, still tracing shapes with your finger tips. Starscream tilted his helm, giving you an adoring smile as he looked down at you; he ran a digit ever so gently over your bottom lip. "I've dealt with far worse my dear." 

You frown and reach up, running a hand over his face. "That's not exactly comforting." He chuckled and grabbed your hand, mimicking your earlier action by pressing his lips to your palm. "Trust me, I'm more than capable of handling certain physical activities…" His voice grew deeper towards the end of his sentence, his grin was wicked with implication. 

Your face burned at his tone. "Alright but… You lay down then." Starscream blinked. "What?" 

A sly smirk spread on your face and you slowly sat up. "Lay down on the bed. I'm in charge tonight." His face lit up with blue from your tone. "W-What, are you positive? I um… Was I not good last time?" Your face dropped and you got to your knees, raising your body higher so you can be closer to his face. "No! No, no you were… Extremely good… I just want you to relax this time, let me take care of you." 

Starscream let out a nervous ex-vent. Thinking back to previous flings he's always been on top, reason being, he just… Doesn't like being at the mercy of someone else. 

It's not that he doesn't enjoy it, he's indifferent either way. A hard life lesson he's learned is to not let himself get into compromising situations, any type of situation. Getting on his knees, literally or metaphorically for anyone makes his sends an uncomfortable feeling through him. Its bad enough he has to grovel at Megatron's pedes to avoid getting beaten. But when he thinks about you, and letting you have control… Maybe it's not so bad.

You see the hesitation in his expression, you caress his face again soothingly. "It's alright if that's not your thing. I just don't want you to over exert yourself." 

He shakes his head and makes eye contact with you. "No It's alright, if that's what you wish." You grin and get off the bed. "Okay, just lay down and get comfortable." You move put of his way and head out into your main room, making sure you turned out the lights and locked your front and back door for the night. Starscream awkwardly climbed onto the soft mattress. Human berths, or 'beds' were different from Cybertronians. Berths weren't that complex, he could recharge anywhere, comfort wasn't exactly a need. He understood why humans needed the comfort, organics had muscle and tissue that could become sore and tense if they didn't get the proper support. Sleep cycles in humans were also different then his species. 

He leaned back, resting his helm on your pillows. It was a lot nicer than he had anticipated. You walk back into your bedroom, smirking at how stiff he looks laying there. You slowly shut your bedroom door and dim your lights. "You certainly look comfy." 

He scoffs and rolls his optics. "Don't get snippy with me, you're lucky I'm even doing this." You snicker and move closer to the bed, he stares at you, running his gaze up and down your body. "Come on now, do that thing humans do. Strip for me." 

You let out a bark of laughter. "Demanding hm? You're lucky you're injured, if you would have said that to me any other time I would have had to punish you." Starscream nearly shivered at your words. Despite you being a mere human he didn't doubt your threat, instead he made a mental note to provoke you next time. 

You're not quite sure how to put on a strip tease when you're in a baggy shirt and pj shorts, so you just go for a slow removal. You slide your shirt up, exposing the skin on your mid section. His optics follow the hem of your shirt up, soaking up the gradual reveal of skin. You ball your shirt in your hands before tossing it at Starscream, he scoffs and flings it away, not even bothering to look at where it went. 

You slide your pj shorts down, this time you can make it a little more sensual. You glide them down whilst moving your hips side to side. They drop to the floor, leaving you in only your underwear. Starscream raised a talon, curling his digit in a beckoning motion. Your heartbeat quickens as you move towards him. It feels like slow motion as you get closer. His gaze burns through you, it's nearly enough to make your knees buckle. 

You climb onto the bed and lift your leg over him, straddling his thighs. He's staring up at you, running his optics up and down your body. "May I?" He hovers his servos over your sides. You nod and he runs his talons up your sides gently, enjoying the soft warmth you gave off. A smile forms on your face, you lean down pressing a light kiss on his lips. He slides his sharp talons up your bare back ever so gently, sending a shiver up your spine. 

You place your hands on his chassis as you kiss him, making sure to be extra careful as your fingers glide over any scratches or dents. Your feather light touches over his injuries sends a sensation through him he's never felt before, it's like a burning in his spark. He tightens his grip on your sides, pulling you up further and resting you on his hips. You let out a hot breath as you pull away from his lips.

You stare up into his optics as you slowly move your hips over his. The red in his optics darken slightly, and his grip on your waist trembles. Biting your lip you take that as a sign to do it again, he groans softly at the burning heat growing in his interface panel. You marvel silently as you grind, finding it fascinating that you feel the pressure grow under you. Truly, you'll never get over the wonders of how Cybertronians work. 

A smirk slides over your lips as you watch his face twist in pleasure, you can tell he's trying to hold it together, but you're not going to let that happen.

You slide your fingers up his chassis and towards his shoulders, your hips move agonizingly slow as you slide your fingers in between the creases of his armor. He lets out a breathy moan, bucking his hips up into yours. You let out a hiss through your teeth. "You gonna show me how you did your magic last time?" You ask.

He furrows his brows, glancing down at you with a dazed expression. "What?" 

You bring your hand downwards, tapping lightly on the plating where you had been grinding. He twitches under you. "This right here. You wouldn't let me see it last time." He blinks in recognition and lowers his gaze, he smirks and hooks a talon on your underwear, pulling it and snapping it back to your skin. "Only if I get to see you take this off." 

A breathless chuckle leaves your mouth and you scoot backwards, stopping when your back meets the spikes on his knees. You tried to move in the most elegant way you could as you slipped them off, it wasn't graceful but it was the best you could do in your position. His predatory gaze wasn't helping either, it made your hands shake with anticipation. 

He grins. "Good job~" You snap your eyes down, watching in awe as his panel hisses open. You felt your mouth salivate as his length stood in front of you. You never thought you were one for body worship, but you guess aliens can have an exception. 

He cleared his vents after you kept staring, he couldn't help but feel a tad self conscious. After all this was new territory for both of you, yes you've messed around before but last time was quick and intense, this was far more… Intimate. What if now that you were up close and personal you're having second thoughts about everything? 

You snap your eyes up to his and he averts his gaze, a light blue creeping onto his faceplate. You giggle softly at his bashfulness. "Hey now, no need to be shy, Star." His face darkens in color at the nickname, he's looking everywhere but your face. You look back down at his length, there's no way in hell you could fit it all into your mouth, but then again you don't need to fit it all. 

You lean over and place both of your hands around the base, you still can't believe this thing fit inside you, you gotta remember to give yourself a pat on the back later. Starscream tensed as you touched him, you can't imagine the thoughts running through his mind right now. He's obviously not used to being the one not in control, at least in this type of situation.

You let out a hot breath over the tip of his erection, you don't really know the proper term so you just decided to keep it ambiguous in your mind. You take the tip into your mouth, you could have swore you felt a faint zap on your tongue. 

Starscream jolted, letting out a quiet whimper. "W-What are you doing?" Your mind kicks into high gear hearing that whimper. You swirl your tongue, tilting your head so that you can keep an eye on his face. A shuddered moan leaves his mouth, and you take that as a sign to do more. You stroke his shaft with one hand as you suck, using your other hand to rest on his thigh. 

"N-Ngh~" Starscream throws his helm back onto your pillows, never before had he felt such a… unique sensation like this. You dipped your head forward, taking a little more into your mouth, all while stroking him near the base. "Primus…" He lets out a low groan, lifting his servo run through your hair. You moaned onto his shaft, causing him to whine and buck his hips up. You gagged slightly as his length reached your throat, your mouth burned from being stretched but you couldn't stop now. No not when he was a moaning pathetic mess underneath you. 

The nearly agonizing throbbing between your legs was enough to keep your mind off any discomfort, surely you were going to be a dripping mess at the end of this. 

"P-Please, if you keep going I-I'll~" He cut himself off with a loud moan as you hallowed out your cheeks around him. You pulled back with a heavy breath. "Can I swallow?" 

His breath hitches and he looks confused. "H-Huh?" You smirk at his dazed expression, continuing to stroke him. "Oh come on sweetheart, I know I distract you but answer my question." He whimpers as he looks at you, nearly trembling as you lick his tip teasingly; waiting for his answer. 

He fumbles with his words, choosing to clench your bed sheets instead, no doubt ripping them in the process. You're trying hard not to get an ego boost, but there's no doubt that you're making him absolutely stupid from the pleasure. A deep burning satisfaction grows in your guts. No one aboard the Nemesis could do this for him, not the way you can. Dare you say no one in the nearby solar systems could either. 

You lick him a few more times while waiting for his reply, each time making him shutter and moan. "I-I don't think my… Mm, transfluid would be safe for you to ingest." He groans softly. "Granted it probably won't kill you, b-but it probably won't feel great…" It took a lot more effort to form those sentences than he would have liked. You grin and pump him even faster. "That's fine, just cum on me then~" Your voice was velvet to him. He came suddenly, moaning loudly as he spilled his neon liquid onto you. You had to silence the voice in your mind telling you that the glowing fluid looked pretty splattered on your body.

Starscream panted heavily, he's never had such a sudden overload before, something about your voice just did him in. He opened his optics and looked at you, Primus you looked so good like that. You, kneeling over him, wiping a bit of his transfluid from your cheek, whilst the rest dripped down you, it was mesmerizing. He raised his servo to your face, curling a digit under your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. Your breath caught in your throat when your eyes met his. They were filled with an emotion you couldn't quite distinguish, or maybe you were just too scared to. 

Starscream slowly sat up, you placed your palms on his chassis and glanced at his wounds worriedly. "Star you should-" He kissed you. Not roughly, or hungrily like he has before. No, this was soft, meaningful, and dare you say… Loving. 

Your eyes fall shut and you relax into the kiss. Your mind is running rampant. Granted, you've been telling yourself for a while that this… relationship that you have isn't good for either one of you. If anyone finds out you both are fucked, you both knew this. 

But this… was a different type of danger. You felt like you were tip toeing a fine line between whatever this was and something more, something deeper. 

The worst part was that some part of you didn't care. He was so much more than you had originally thought of him. When you first met him it was during a fight and he nearly killed you. After hearing the stories that the autobots told you, you decided that Starscream was just an arrogant, power hungry, self-righteous twat. 

But now… the way he looked at you the first night he came to your house, and then tonight… You learned so much more about him, he was so vulnerable and most of all he trusted you. 

You let out a quiet whimper as he kissed you. It was barely audible but of course he picked it up. He circled his arms around you, and hoisted you further onto his lap. You could feel his length in between you both and it made your face burn. You moaned as his tongue slipped into your mouth, it slid along yours curiously. Like he was wanting to memorize the way you felt. 

Your fingers gripped onto his broad shoulders, pressing your tongue into his. You don't think you'll ever get used to how he feels, how he tastes, it's so fucking addictive. You pull away gasping for air, he immediately dives for your neck. You gasp loudly at the sensation of his tongue running over your neck. You unconsciously lean your head back, giving him better access as you try to catch your breath. 

He nibbles gently while gliding his servo down your chest and stomach, your breath hitches as his talons run even lower. Your grip on his shoulders becomes tighter, as you shut your eyes. His mouth on your neck sends ripples throughout your body, all ending up between your legs. "S-Starscream…" You whine, arching into him slightly as his digit slides across your slit. Just as you imagined you are soaked and beginning to drip down your thighs. He moves carefully, using the back side of his talon to avoid cutting you as he rubs up and down. You pant heavily and rest your head onto his chassis, hissing from the mix of pleasure and want for more. 

He reaches back and guides his erection in front of your entrance, eliciting a choked moan from you. Starscream turns your head towards him. "Look at me darling." You nod pathetically and stare into his optics. They have got to be the most gorgeous shade of red you've ever seen.

With that he moves forward, sliding into you slowly. Your vision blurs slightly from the pain but it quickly regains. You keep your eyes on him, even as you wince in pain you look at him. He was buried inside of you. Shaky breaths leave your mouth as you adjust to his size, you feel his servo tremble on your lower back. 

The pain slowly melted away, Starscream watched you the entire time. You gripped onto his shoulders a bit tighter before slowly rolling your hips forward. Starscream let out a low grunt, like he was trying to restrain himself. A slight grin formed on your lips, there was something so satisfying knowing the effect you had on him. 

You lifted your hips slowly, letting his length slide out. Your breathing was shallow as you slowly sank back down. Your lips quivered and let out a quiet mewl. Starscream ran his talons down your back as you rocked up and down slowly. You leaned back and rested your hands on his thighs, moving your hips a little faster. Soft moans from you both filled the room along with the groans of your bed frame. You just hoped the extra weight wouldn't do in your frame, it at least had a couple more years left in it. 

Starscream gripped your hips firmly as you bounced, he started to match your movements, thrusting in time with you. Your arms trembled but you kept moving, your speed growing faster with need. 

Your eyes fluttered closed and all you could think of was how good it felt to have him sliding into you repeatedly. Starscream watched your face contort with pleasure, it was positively enthralling for him.

A deep buried part of him sparked to life, a part that thrived from pleasing others. Normally he felt it whenever Megatron gave a light praise, or someone commended him on his flight skills. It was normal for anyone to have such a reaction from such things, but for him it was a bit more. To put it bluntly he was starved for praise. And seeing you nearly drunk on pleasure, pleasure that he was giving you?

Primus, he had no idea how to get himself out of this mess. Let alone if he even wanted too. 

His talons dug into your lower back, a deep moan left your throat as he thrusted roughly into you. Your whole body twitched as he hit that deep spot. Your breathing was shallow, and your vision was spotted with stars. Never in your life was anyone able to hit your g-spot, it never bothered you, some people didn't care or couldn't figure it out. But Starscream just found it by accident, and oh boy did he notice. 

"Human anatomy is fascinating." He chuckles, his voice gravelly and traced with static. You let out a huff and look at him. "I don't know what you're talking about." He grinds slowly, keeping his length inside you. "Sure you do darling. You must know that I'm aware of how your body reacts. Especially right now…" He grinds a bit more roughly, pushing his tip right into that special spot. "I can feel the difference, see the difference, and hear the difference…" He grins wickedly as you whimper. 

He sits up straighter, pulling you flush against his chassis. Your breath hitches and you glance up at him. He dips his helm, swiftly capturing your lips into a soft kiss. He pulls back and moves to the side of your head, letting hot air ghost over your ear and neck. "Let me know if it gets too much for you." 

"What?" You turn to ask but the sharp buck from him makes the breath in your chest evaporate. 

Starscream started to thrust into you, roughly. All you could do was moan as you got quite literally, fucked stupid.

Starscream made it his sole goal to hit your g-spot every. single. time. Your hands fumbled around his chassis, searching for anything to find purchase on. Anything to ground you from feeling like you were going to melt through the bed and into the floor. You decided to slip to his back, gripping onto his wings, his intake hitched and his hips sputtered. A guttural moan left him, he quickly recovered his rhythm, going even faster than before. 

"S-S-Star~" You sounded pathetic. You could barely form words, as he drove into you ruthlessly. You gripped his wings tighter at the base, far away from the minor injuries he had on them. A moan that could only be described as slutty left Starscream, your core tightened impossibly fast and you became suddenly aware of your oncoming climax. He was driving into you with unhinged force, you wouldn't be shocked if your pelvis gets dislocated. 

"I-I… fuck, Star your gonna make me—" You cut off your own sentace with a moan, Starscream's talons racked down your lower back. The sting shot straight into pleasure as you quickly realized he broke the skin. Your grip on his wings tightened instinctively, Starscream growled clenching your hips tighter. "Please, please I'm so fucking close… Please, oh fuck please~" Your face was pressed into his chassis, moaning a mantra of pleads for release. 

Starscream heard you loud and clear, he kept his brutal pace. It took nearly everything in him to hold off on overloading. He wanted you to do it first, he wanted to feel you around him. Fuck yes, he wanted you to be the thing that sent him over the edge.  He groaned and held your soft body closer, the heat you gave off was heavenly. “Overload for me, do it.” He panted out in-between thrusts. 

Your back arched and a strangled moan left your lips, it was white hot pleasure that shot through your entire body. Your muscles clenched tightly around him, sending him into a violent and electrifying overload. His optics went offline as his hips sputtered, he shot transfluid inside you. it felt different this time, like TV static pooling in your abdomen. 

Your moans faded into raspy breathing, you could have sobbed from the ecstasy pulsing through you. Starscream's optics came online, he blinked slowly as his intake went back to normal. You were flush against him, face pressed into his chassis. Your hands had slipped from his wings, instead resting above his hips. He glanced down at you, slowly lifting his servos from your hips. 

His spark dropped as he noticed the crimson scratches running down your lower back. "Scrap, I'm sorry I hurt you." 

You let out a contempt hum, glancing up at his worried expression. "You did the exact opposite to me, Star." Your voice was slightly hoarse. Starscream ignored the sensation in his spark at your words. "I scratched your back, I made you bleed."

A stupid grin spread across your lips. "What are you grinning for?" Starscream's voice was soft, he sounded like he was moments away from a breakdown. You looked up at him, your eyes lidded as you gazed up at him. Maybe it was the post orgasm glow, or the heat of the moment in general, but fuck did he look stunning. 

"Trust me sweetheart, you didn't hurt me. You… Christ, you made me feel so incredibly good." You gave him a warm smile. He looked unsure. "But you're bleeding…" 

"Feels good. At least it feels good for me knowing I made you do that. Human culture has a thing where scratches like that are a sign of satisfaction. Trust me, look it up." You giggle, letting your fingertips run over the edges of his armor. He let out a soft sigh of defeat, as he moved his servo up to your head. A single digit twirled some strands of your hair. 

Your chest felt tight as you stared up at him, admiring how handsome he was, how pretty he was. How the utter contempt in his face made your heart flutter. You wanted to treasure that peaceful look, you wanted him to feel safe all the time. The thought of him going back to Megatron made you sick to your stomach. You wanted to run away with him, hide him away from the war lord, from everyone who wanted to harm him. It was irrational, and impossible. You knew this, but it sure as hell didn't stop you from imagining it. 

"You look tired." Starscream broke the silence, his voice was low as he continued to play with your hair. "So do you." You replied, voice just as low. His optics met your eyes and that flutter racked your heart again. "You take a lot out of me." He smirked slightly.

You chuckled and slowly got off of his lap, pulling him down onto the bed with you. He watched as you grabbed the blanket and pulled it up, covering your body and part of his. You snuggled into his side, draping an arm over him. His wings were flat against the mattress, he shifted slightly, feeling surprisingly comfortable. He couldn't tell if it was the bed or you that made him feel that way. 

"Is this comfy for you?" You mumble. Starscream glances down at you, wrapping an arm around you gently. "Yes."

You rubbed your hand in soothing circles over his plating, as your eyes grew heavy. He watched with the faintest smile on his face as your eyes drooped shut. 

He could get used to this. By the pit he wanted to get used to this. It doesn't matter if he'll be a bit sore in the morning for staying in mass conversion for so long. He'd stay like this forever if you asked him. Whatever you wanted, whatever it took to be able to be with you. 

...Be with you? He wanted… to be with you. 

He squeezed his optics shut, his processor buzzed unpleasantly, his spark doing the same. He had a horrible feeling that he knew what was happening. Something that was dangerous. It put not only him at risk, but you as well, which was the worst part. 

This whole night was more intimate than it should have been. He was an idiot for coming here in the first place. He should have just gone back to his quarters and sulked, no he still would have thought of you. Truthfully he should have never let his thoughts of you go past hate, things would have been so much simpler. 

But here he was, lying next to you in your bed after a night of you taking care of him and intense interfacing. Primus, he was in trouble, he doesn't know what he would do if Megatron found out about you both. Megatron would kill you, slowly, painfully, and probably in front of him before he turned and killed him as well. 

Then again, maybe he wouldn't have to know. If he just stayed on top of everything and did his work well Megatron would have no reason to suspect anything. He could have the best of both worlds, a successful Commander, and a—

A what? What was he to you? What did you want him to be? What did he even want to be to you?

Starscream let out a deep sigh and offlined his optics. He was far too exhausted to be dealing with these thoughts, perhaps recharging would clear his processor.

Both of your thoughts were messy as you and him drifted to sleep, so many things were uncertain. But one thing was clear for you both.

The two of you were in way deeper than you had originally thought. 

++++

I'll go back and format this later, i know the spacing is wonky its just i had to get this out asap and its 2:40 am right now and I'm so tired

[saturatedboy]

How about a fluff Donna oneshot with a gn!reader who’s sicker than a dog

If you’re ok with that ofc

Donna Beneviento x GN!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sickness and throwing up

Words: 2.6k

You couldn't believe it. You're mind just couldn't process it. Your nose was stuffy with slight snot dripping from it and your eyes were swollen red from earlier crying. Somehow you had gotten yourself so sick to the point it hurt to even talk as your throat was dryer than the Sahara Desert. You had tried earlier to get up from your bed with little effort because of the quick wash of nausea had influenced all your senses to stop. You could feel your stomach turning every now again and decided that it was probably better to lay down in your bed then go rushing to the bathroom in hopes the cartwheels that passed through your digestive system would soon come to a halt.

A sudden cough popped out of your dry mouth as you raised your hand to cover your mouth, the heat of your skin feeling far more hot and sticky than when you were at the Lord's Heisenberg's factory to gather some materials for your lover, Donna Beneviento. After your coughing fit, you had closed your eyes in hopes of rest, but the sudden noise of the door creaking open had made you whine out. "Still in bed?" The voice had teased followed by a chant of laughter. Without moving, you groaned and sighed at the doll who had now floated into your confined room and made her way to hover over your laying down form.

"Angie...please." You croaked out, waving a hand in a 'dismissive' tone for the doll to go away. Once again, the doll had strummed up more laughter from her unknown vocal cords at your terrible state.

"You should hear yourself, it sounds like you're stuffed with saw dust haha!" Angie crackled away, floating down to sit on the other pillow that was at the side of you as she still stared down at your figure. Trying to not laugh at her remark, you had hauled yourself up to cough up a storm into your arm, tears springing to your eyes from the piecing strike of pain that stuck your head. The laughter from the doll came to a stop, now a worried Angie was staring at you.

"I-I'll go get Donna!" She stammered, backing away from you and flying as swift as she could to go find her owner who was most likely brewing tea like she did in the early morning hours. You wanted to call out to her, tell that you didn't need Donna but the warm feeling of something bubbling up in your stomach came back.

Flinging the covers off your body, you had scurried to find the closest bathroom to your room that happened to be next to Donna's anyway. As you were running through the hallways, you had rounded the corner and almost bumped into the jogging figure of Donna. Seeing your face flushed red and the hurried speed of your run, Donna was quick to turn and follow your trail to the bathroom where she was met with your kneeling body leaning over the toilet seat hurling your stomach contents out. She was quick however to attend to your side after rolling her long sleeves up past her elbows. Her hair was already tied back in her usual bun with two strands falling in front of her uncovered face after four months of getting to know you better.

With your vision slightly blurred from your sweaty tears, you leaned back up and tried to grab the toilet paper from beside you to wipe your mouth with, only for the soft clasp of Donna's hand around your wrist to stop you from proceeding. "Don't wipe your mouth with that, I'll go fetch a cloth for you my love." She spoke softly being aware that your senses were higher then usual because of your sickness. You pulled your hand gently out of her grasp to clutch hold of the seat once again as you spilled more sick from your mouth.

"This couldn't get any worse," You said out-loud as you pulled yourself back away from your now mess and leaned against the wall, pulling your legs up to your chest. "Why is it so cold in here?"

"Cold? COLD? Are you mad meat on feet?" Angie screamed out, going crazy over the fact you claimed to be cold when your skin was a tinted red from the world's hottest coal. You pushed your head between your knees, trying to drown out the loud squeals of Angie going off on a rant about you being cold. It was not pleasant to hear as much as you loved to here Angie talk.

Luckily for yourself however, Donna had rushed back into the room holding a bucket by its handle. Seeing you curled up and Angie speaking in a head-splitting tone, she turned to her partner in crime and gently hushed her. Angie at first had crossed her arms till she watched as Donna went to attend your needs. "Ohhhh right, they are sick." She stated plainly as she shrugged her shoulders and went to also aid your needs.

Donna gently took hold of the side of your head and gently pulled you up to face her. Tiny stands of your hair had stuck to your forehead, making her frown slightly. Seeing you in this state wasn't good. How she ever let you get so sick in the first place was a mystery to her. You had been perfectly fine the other day, playing in the snow with Angie and the other puppets but why had you gotten so sick...- "I told you to not go back out there in the storm." Donna disciplined you as she laid your head back to rest against the wall and went to grab the cloth in the bucket. You sighed and nodded weakly, humming in agreement. You couldn't help it though, last night the snow was so fun to play in with your snow boots and cloak made by yours truly, Donna and Angie. You had to go out though last night in the storm, You just had to go make more snow angels and wanted to build the best snow fort. Not to mention you swore you saw a deer running about and had gone to chase it in the forest for a little while before making your way back home in the late hours.

Rinsing the excess water out from the cloth, Donna gently pattered your forehead with the cold water making you sigh in pleasure. The coldness of the cloth against your hot skin had calmed the banging headache that was bashing against your brain. You closed your eyes in content as you felt a small hand brush against yours. "I apologise for shouting earlier," The sudden contact made you unknowingly brush your larger fingers against the doll's hand.

"Its alright, its okay." You spoke out feeling a little more better with some cold on you. Donna had left the cloth sit on your forehead folded as she moved the bucket to the shower and went to flush the toilet. After you had laid there for just a short while, Donna had spoken up again.

"It's time we get you back to bed my little voodoo," She said, clasping her hands in front of her as she picked Angie off the floor next to you. You groaned and lifted your hand back up, wanting to clutch onto Angie. Angie jumped out of Donna's arms and rushed to your side, holding onto your hand and stroking the back of it with her small structured fingers. Donna cooed at the sight, loving the way how Angie acted with you. It did take a while for Donna to convince Angie in the first place to not play her deadly game of 'Hide and Seek' with you but just like Donna did, Angie soon fell in love with everything about you. From your sneezes that you hated to your slightly taller height than Donna- what wasn't there to love about you?

Noticing she was getting of task, as much as she loved seeing you and Angie bond, Donna crouched down to gently, with a tiny bit of a struggle, lift your body off the bathroom floor and hold you in her arms. You were slightly heavy in her arms since Donna always had a frail body but she was persistent to get you back into the bed so she could care for you till and after your sickness left. She was determined to get you back up to full health.

As she walked down the corridors with you in her arms, Angie had placed herself to rest on your chest hearing your heartbeat pump blood around your body. The doll was on the verge of falling asleep, finding safety and comfort being near you. Dona had started to hum a song to fill the silence of the air, enjoying the task of getting to look after you. You normally had always helped her, ever since the first day she had gotten the choice to keep you from Mother Miranda. Now she could finally repay those days back and look after you- she would've either way looked after you but she tended to forget that you knew she loved you. It was a reason why she mostly made you small teddies on a Friday to give to you. Each of them had a name tag that was tied around their necks always held a note from either saying ,'I love you' to 'Forever my voodoo'. It was a sweet gesture to your heart and to show your appreciation for the gifts, you had placed them all on the shelves that were set up around your room.

Donna was relieved to see the sight of your door in sight, she could finally place you down and be at your side until your sickness goes away. Walking through the opened door, she slightly gushed at the sight of her creations up on your shelves. She pulled you closer to her chest as she slowly walked around your bed and leaned down to place up upon the cotton sheets. Pulling her arms out from under your body, she quickly walked towards your wardrobe and swung the door open to take out a folded white sheet of silk to place over your now sleeping body. When she walked back over to you, she unfolded the sheet and placed it over you, tucking the sides under and folding the top of it so it sat just over your chest. Readjusting the also sleeping Angie in your arms, Donna had leaned down and placed a kiss on both of your foreheads, moving more stray hair from your face. She was glad your skin was less hot, it seemed you throwing up had gotten rid of the bad things in your stomach and should make you better for when you wake up. However for now, Donna swiftly left the room to go search for some medicine, hot tea and easy to swallow food for your awakening. She would stick to her word of making you feel better.

You came to your conscience when you felt a hand shake your shoulder. Moaning in annoyance, you opened your heavy eye lids and faced the culprit of waking you from your amazing dream of Donna, Angie an you sitting in a field having a picnic. On other terms however, when your vision was less translucent,  you were blushing like you had spotted your crush- or in other words you did spot your lover. "Having a good dream?" She asked, holding a cup with something steaming out from it. You were loss for words, had you been sleep talking the whole time?

"No...no dreams just darkness." You were fast to reply, wanting to get out of the embarrassing situation quickly.

"Surrreee~" Angie sang out, teasing you as she was once again on the pillow at the side of you. You felt her shift about and felt her climb over you, only for her to nestle herself between your arms that folded under your head. You groaned playfully and kissed her head, laughing as she ducked further under the sheet that was placed over you.

"Now now Angie, I'm sure they need to have something to drink before anyone else sleeps." Donna placed the cup down on the night stand that you were facing and helped you sit up so your back was resting against the headboard of your bed and Angie was sat on your lap, singing softly to herself. Donna, once placing her had upon your forehead and checking to see how hot you were, took her hand away and grabbed hold of the cup that she originally had. Blowing on it herself, she took a little sip to make sure that the solution wasn't too hot or too cold for you to drink and then raised the cup to your lips. You tried to take the cup out of her hands but she wasn't having it. "Let me help you, please." She pleaded, raising the cup back again to rest against your lips. You nodded, knowing full well that you couldn't say no to her and parted your lips open. Feeling her pour the solution down your throat had made you blush deeply. Oh how beautiful she was in your eyes, such a Goddess- she was no Lady only a Goddess in your eyes...But she could be your Lady if she would say 'yes' to a future question you had intended to ask her in the further future.

Drinking what you could taste, which was Earl Grey tea, you sighed as you finished drinking it feeling the warmth in your now settled stomach. You felt grateful to have these people and doll in your life. These two were your home, this was your home and you loved every second of it. Watching Donna place the cup back onto the nightstand, she leaned over and kissed your cheek. You whined in annoyance. "I'm not kissing you on the lips until you are fully better," She accused as she smiled softly at your reactions.

"Then at least stay right next to me until I'm better," You claimed back, adjusting the veil on top of Angie's head getting a sudden yelp from her by your sudden actions. Sighing, Donna had nodded and tried to make her way towards a small rocking chair in the corner of the room that sat by the windowsill but was refused by your hand wrapping around her dress quickly. "Stay right next to me...on the bed." You stated, tugging at her dress with a pout. Nodding, Donna had crawled from the your side of the bed to the other, laying down next to you. You picked Angie's sleeping body up and placed her between bot you and Donna. Stretching your arm out after, you managed to reach over to wrap your arm around Donna who watched you with shining eyes.

"You still need to eat," She whispered, using her hand to place your out stretched hand onto her face so she could feel your soft touch.

"I will after our nap. I think your touch is making me feel better." You spoke, stroking her cheek and blowing a kiss at her to get the best reaction of her closing her eyes tightly and blushing. "So adorable," You whispered back to her, enjoying the moment you had with her.

"Sleep," She said back, keeping her eyes closed and keeping a tight grip of your hand on her cheek, not wanting to ever let go. You nodded and moved yourself slightly to get more comfortable. Although your sickness still lingered, you knew you were in good hands and vowed to never ever go out in a snow storm even if you thought you spotted a deer.

"Both of you sleep," Angie groaned as she yawed loudly and moved her hands to grab hold of both yours and Donna's clothing. Both you and Donna laughed in return- laughter was the best medicine after all.

[moonlit-han]

my favorite flower ↠ han jisung

(gif by @han-jisung)

genre: fluff, florist!Jisung x barista!reader word count: 2k warnings: none request: Sort of? Enjoy, Sara! a/n: credit to @junhuisflower​ for the idea for this fic~

✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio✧

*✧･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Jisung was having a dreadful day.

The florist where he worked was overrun with people buying their significant others flowers for Valentine’s Day, even though it was still a week away, and they all insisted on their bouquets being impeccably arranged and be-ribboned. Those who bought the little trinkets the store offered, in addition to the large array of flowers, wanted them wrapped nicely—with a gift receipt included, please, if it’s not too much trouble. It was also rainy and cold, which meant customers kept tracking water and mud into the shop, making the floor ever so slightly slippery. He’d already dealt with one child slipping and the subsequent meltdown, and really didn’t want to go through that again. And, to cap it all off, he had a headache, which had started around 2 pm and would not go away.

Since a holiday was fast approaching, Jisung was working later than usual and had a break before the evening rush. He decided that what he needed was coffee and lots of it, preferably with several shots of espresso to keep him awake and to quell the pounding in his head. So, he threw on his coat and scarf, kicking himself for not remembering a hat nor an umbrella, and headed across the street.

As soon as Jisung entered the small, cozy cafe, he relaxed. The sharp smell of coffee and the sweetness of baked goods mingled tantalizingly before his nose, and a lazy smile spread across his face without him even realizing it. He joined the mercifully short line to the counter, thinking that he could really go for something simple, as long as there was plenty of caffeine in it. Preoccupied with his phone, Jisung didn’t notice he was at the beginning of the line.

“Hi, what can I get for you this evening?” a light voice asked. After a pause it said again, “Hello?”

Jisung’s head shot up, looking a bit sheepish, and he blinked. A beautiful young woman stood in front of him, head cocked to the side and waiting to take his drink order. Suddenly, his day had gotten a lot better.

“I- Sorry. Um, could I have a medium latte with an extra shot of espresso, please?” Jisung said, trying his best to seem casual when, in reality, he was practically shaking.

“Sure, that’ll be ready in a few minutes at the counter to the right,” you said as Jisung paid and went to stand to the side.

He knew it would be rude to stare, but he couldn’t help it. Jisung was instantly drawn to you without prompting nor reason. You were the prettiest person he’d ever seen, and he was friends with Hyunjin, whose delicate features usually drew the attention of every person in a room. Maybe it was your smile and the way your eyes sparkled. Maybe it was the way the loose strands of hair fell around your face. Or maybe it was just the mellifluousness of your voice. He could barely think. Oh no, he really needed to keep it together since he was in public.

Jisung went to the counter to retrieve his coffee once it was ready, and tried not to yelp as his hand brushed yours. He scurried out of the cafe as quickly as possible, not wanting to embarrass himself anymore than he already had.

The next morning, Jisung returned to the little cafe across from the florist. He went back the day after that, and the next, and even the next day after that. Without fail, he was there at 8:30 am to get his latte and sometimes a bun. He never stayed long, since he had the shop to open, but it was nice to have this new routine. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t gone there before. By the fifth morning of him going to the cafe, you knew his order and even had the coffee almost ready.

“Morning!” you said brightly, “Same as usual?”

“Yeah, and a bun, too, please. Any flavor is fine!”

“Sure thing! Also, what’s your name? You come in here all the time and I can’t believe I’m just now asking,” you wondered.

“Oh!” Jisung was surprised you’d even ask. He was just a customer, no one special, right? “My name’s Jisung. Han Jisung. You’re Y/N, right? I noticed your name tag and all.” He stopped before he could say more, not wanting to admit that he’d noted your name the first day he saw you and committed it to memory.

“Yep, I’m Y/N,” you said, “And you have a lovely name. It sounds like the wind blowing through willow leaves. I like it.”

Jisung blushed, not used to compliments, especially from a pretty girl on whom he had such a crush. “Th-thank you. I like your name, too.”

You finished swirling steamed and frothed milk, espresso, and caramel together as Jisung squirmed on the other side of the counter.

“So, you work at the florist, right?” you said. “Has it been as busy over there as in here? I feel like I’ve seen at least twenty couples of high schoolers going on awkward coffee dates just in the past week.”

“Oh my god, it’s been crazy. Everyone wants special flowers and we only have so many because, wow, it’s the middle of winter. People just don’t seem to get that flowers have to grow and that takes time. The rain hasn’t been helping moods, either. Sorry, you probably don’t want to hear the rants of a frustrated florist.” Yet again, Jisung’s mouth had tried to run away of its own accord. “Those high schoolers must be annoying, though—I can’t imagine having to deal with them. At least my customers are mainly adults.”

You laughed, and Jisung thought he’d never heard anything so free and beautiful. “It sounds like a busy week for you, too! Yeah, they’ve been a bit . . . loud? Constantly here?” You handed Jisung his coffee and one of the special currant buns the owner of the cafe had made just that morning. “Here you go, Jisung!”

“Thanks, Y/N. Good luck with the high schoolers.” Jisung took a sip of the coffee. “Oooh, caramel! Thanks!” he said, appreciatively, meeting your eyes and praying that you wouldn’t notice him blushing while he paid.

“Well, at least they have dates for Valentine’s Day,” you said, looking directly at Jisung. “Good luck with the last minute flower orders. See you tomorrow, then!”

Jisung smiled in response and made his way to the door. Had you been trying to hint at something? It was the day before Valentine’s Day, after all.

Throughout the day, Jisung couldn’t stop thinking about you. How, despite only seeing you six times in his entire life, did he manage to have such a big crush on you? How?! As he helped customer after customer who wanted roses, orchids, hydrangeas, and every other fancy flower they could find, Jisung wondered which flowers would suit you best. Certainly something happy and carefree, yet strong and beautiful. You weren’t one for opulence—he could guess that much. Maybe sunflowers or tulips would do.

During his lunch break, Jisung went into the refrigerated room that held the flowers waiting to be brought out into the shop proper. He wanted to make you a bouquet, and it needed to be perfect. Jisung walked up and down the row of flowers in buckets, trying to find complementary blooms for one large sunflower and four deep crimson tulips. Every so often, he’d stop and bring a flower to his nose or hold it next to the sunflower and tulips. He finally choose a few fern fronds, and sprigs of baby’s-breath and feverfew. The white and green would set off the deep yellow and red nicely. The bouquet almost seemed to smile at him, the colors were so warm and bright. Just like you.

Jisung set the flowers down on his station, arranged them to his satisfaction, and carefully wrapped protective paper around the bouquet. He even tied a deep red ribbon around the paper to better highlight the tulips. Pleased with his work, he continued his break and the rest of the afternoon with a light heart. When it came time for him to leave that evening, Jisung gathered his things and the bouquet, and steeled himself. If he didn’t do this now, he guessed he’d never be able to bring himself to do it again.

Jisung stepped into the cafe, hiding the bouquet behind his back. You looked up from the book you were reading, since, somehow, there was a lull in the steady stream of customers you’d had all afternoon. The smile on your face when you noticed it was him gave Jisung the extra courage to walk up to the counter.

“Jisung!” you exclaimed. “You’re back! What’s up?”

“Um, well, I wanted to give you these,” Jisung said, only a little nervously. He handed you the bouquet, hoping you’d like it. “You’re really pretty, Y/N. And, you said you didn’t have a date for Valentine’s Day, so I thought I’d see if you wanted to go on a date with me! I understand if you don’t, since we’ve only seen each other a handful of times, but it’s always nice to have company, right?” Jisung finished, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.

“Thank you!” you said earnestly. “H-how did you know these are my favorite flowers?”

“I guessed?” Jisung’s blush became more pronounced and he glanced away before meeting your eyes again. “You’re my favorite flower, and you’re always so cheerful—but also steady and strong—so I thought sunflowers and tulips would be perfect. I hope that wasn’t too forward . . ..”

“Jisung, this is perfect,” you said, beaming at the young man in front of you. “I’d love to go on a date with you! You’re always so sweet and, uh, you’re pretty cute, too.”

The look on Jisung’s face should have been distilled for future use as a remedy against sadness, he was so happy. “Really? You’ll go out with me?” he asked, still not quite believing it.

“Of course—how could I resist being courted with flowers? Oh! We should go ice skating!”

The next evening, Valentine’s Day, Jisung met you at the outdoor ice rink. You’d brought hot tea—you had enough of coffee at work—to fend off the chill. He was glad to have a chance to just stand with you in comfortable silence as you watched the other skaters. You were easy to be with, and didn’t feel the need to talk all the time, which immediately endeared you to Jisung even more. When the two of you did speak, it was all the more meaningful because you shared what you really cared about: books, music production, the cutest small animals you could think of, etc.

Jisung hadn’t been skating in years, so he laid himself at your mercy to help him stay upright on the ice. It also gave him the excuse to hold your hand for long stretches, but you didn’t seem to mind either. It wasn’t long until he got his feet back under him and was skating smoothly.

As the two of you skated around the ice rink, the snow started to fall gently as other couples laughed and spun around you. You looked up at Jisung. He had his head tilted up to the sky, much like a sunflower, and was catching snowflakes on his cheeks and eyelashes. He had a blissful smile on his face and paid no mind to the strands of blond hair falling into his eyes.

“Jisung?” you said.

“Hmmm?”

“If I’m your favorite flower,” you mused, “then you’re my sunshine, right?”

Jisung’s eyes flew open and he skidded his skates so the two of you stopped. “Yes, of course,” he murmured as he wrapped you in a tight hug, and, surprised as you were, you hugged him just as tightly. When Jisung drew back slightly and looked at you, a gentle smile touching his eyes, you leaned up and kissed him. It was just a light touch on the lips, but it felt as warm and sparkling as the first truly warm day in spring when the sun breaks through clouds to dispel any lingering tendrils of frost or cold wind. Everything just seemed so right with Jisung—you couldn’t explain it but the feeling was lovely and you wanted it to stay. After all, a sunflower needed the sun to grow and the sun needed things on which to shine.

[marvels-writings]

Hey:) I absolutely love this blog. Your imagines are entertaining to read. Can I request a Carol x R? Endgame/post endgame (hate/love) scenario: Everyone is trying to deal w/ their grief, Carol always seems to target R when lashing out/or acting cocky/arrogant. R remains infuriatingly calm & ignores her or responds in genuinely friendly manner but says things that fluster/get under Carol's skin. After they win, Carol eventually realizes that while R drives her crazy, she is crazy about her ;)

Livewire (1)

A/N: aw thanks for the compliment, here you go and so so so sorry for the wait. 

“Carol this the tenth time we have had this argument in two days.” You stated, almost groaning when Carol started pacing again but deciding to keep it to yourself. “As much as I love your company I can’t stand talking about the same thing over and over again.” 

“BUT WE COULD’VE DONE MORE!” Carol yelled, powers flaring when she slammed one hand on the table in front of you. You barely flinched, this was a normal occurrence at this point. 

The two of you were currently in a modified Kree spaceship the two of you had robbed to help everyone recover from the events after the snap. You had gone with Carol to help her out, the two of you never got along too well, you were too laid back according to Carol, Carol was too tense and stubborn for you. But hey, at least you were helping others if not yourself. 

“We both know there’s nothing more we could have done.” You answered, hesitantly looking up at Carol’s eyes which were glazed with tears. 

She had opened up to you more in the past few years, but still incredibly closed off. I mean the two of you had a lot of late night talks whenever Carol was feeling okay, after helping another planet she always blamed herself, and you became a verbal punching bag. 

“We are doing the most we can now.” You added softly, reaching one hand out to Carol’s who snapped it away, glaring at you and walking to her bed. 

You sighed and made some tea, leaving a cup by Carol’s bedside, she pretended not to notice it for some time, but the smell was too strong. You had made it the exact way she likes it since she hadn’t had anything decent to eat or drink for some time. You sighed and sipped your tea, knowing this argument would happen again. 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

It happens again, more times than you would care to count. One or two times Carol even screamed at you and openly insulted you. You nodded and listened, comforting her if she cried. But the stress was getting to you, you broke down once in a while in an isolated spot in the ship Carol didn’t know about when she was asleep. 

This time she took it too far, way too far, you both had incredible powers, you had fire and superstrength which thankfully slowed your aging, she had photon blasts and superstrength. You responded the way you always did, Carol got into a screaming match and meant to yell, but she slammed her hands on the table and it misdirected a blast into your arm. 

The sleeve of your favorite hoodie was burnt off, your arm was burnt. You looked at Carol and turned to face the injury, it was hurting, badly. You knew yelling at her would make her feel more guilty, so you just took in a sharp breath and walked to where the med kit was stored. 

“I’ll help.” Carol stated timidly, walking over to you and helping clean the wound by running it under water, her fingers running over your forearm gently, terrified to hurt you again. 

You noticed her hands shaking and gently put one hand over hers, looking into her hazel eyes filled with unshed tears. Carol continued to hold your forearm under the water as gently as she could while looking up at you. 

“It’s okay.” You comforted, wincing slightly from the pain and switching off the tap. Carol tugged you towards the small living room and sat you down on the couch without saying anything, you could see her shaking through every action. 

Carol came back with some white cloth and a small, steel bucket of cold water. You sighed, knowing it was a bit extra when she set down painkillers and a glass of water on the coffee table in front of you before giving them to you. 

Neither of you said anything as you took the painkillers and let Carol put the cool cloth on the wound, inhaling a sharp breath whenever it touches your skin. The burn wasn’t the worst you’ve had, but it was still pretty bad. You decided to break the uncomfortable silence. 

“I’m gonna be borrowing more of your hoodies now.” You said lightly, Carol glanced up at you and went back to trying to clean it with shaky hands. 

“Carol, it’s fine.” You comforted, resting your good hand on her forearm, she looked up at you, a tear slowly slipping down her face. 

“No it’s not.” Carol answered shakily. You were the only person who was always taking care of her, no matter what. You were there for her when she ranted and screamed and threw insults at you she knew you hated. You were there through it all, and all she does is hurt you. 

“You’ve been there for me through everything without flinching, and all I do is hurt you.” Carol whispered, getting up and quickly retrieving gauze and bandages before you could reply. 

“It’s been hard on all of us.” You answered softly, lifting your arm so Carol could bandage it, wincing at the pain. “I don’t blame you for this.” Carol scoffed at that. 

“Then you’re crazy.” Carol muttered, gently bandaging your arm, fingers lingering over your skin longer than they needed to. 

“Maybe I am, we can be crazy together.” You joked as Carol finished patching you up. Carol sighed and leaned back on the couch, staring at her hands in guilt. 

“Come here.” You whispered softly, opening your arms for her to hug you, honestly, you expected her to continue staring at her hands or just ignore you. 

Instead, Carol practically pounced into your arms, her tears flowing down her cheeks as sobs broke their way out of her chest. She practically tackled you onto the couch, your head rested on the arm rest of the couch and Carol was on top of you, hugging you with her head tucked into the crook of your neck, soaking what remained of your hoodie with tears. 

“I’m so sorry y/n/n.” Carol spoke between sobs, you couldn’t help but smile slightly, she hadn’t called you by your nickname in god knows how long. You rubbed her back gently and kissed her hair softly. 

“It’s okay stargirl.” You joked, rubbing her back softly as Carol tangled your legs together, squeezing tightly to you. 

It started to get uncomfortable, you shifted slightly and Carol heard a large pop come from your back. She pulled away, terrified she had hurt you again. She looked at you, hazel eyes bloodshot and filled with concern. 

“You just cracked my back.” You joked, remaining in your position under Carol, noticing her arms on either side of your head and wished you didn’t. “Thanks actually.”

Carol rolled her eyes and went back to hugging you, softer this time and with much more feeling. She rested her head on top of where she knew your heart was, listening to your heartbeat. You went back to drawing comforting patterns on her back, cradling her head closer to your chest and playing with her hair. 

“I’m sorry for everything.” Carol whispered into your shoulder, her breath tickling your neck. “You’re right, you always were, there’s nothing more we can do. We barely have anything anyway.”

“I mean we still have each other, right?” You asked softly, freezing slightly when you realized what you said. Carol felt the tension in your body smile slightly against your shoulder. 

“Right,” Carol answered, exhaustion weighing down on her as she started to fall asleep in your arms. “Thank you for everything y/n/n.” 

“Of course.” You answered, feeling Carol’s body relax more and her breathing start to get steadier. 

You smiled slightly, continuing to run your hand through her hair, remembering one of your favorite songs which Carol also loved, you started humming the tune softly to yourself,  stopping when you felt Carol start to shift. 

“Don’t stop.” Carol muttered, half asleep and shifting so she could listen to your heartbeat and your voice. You smiled slightly and continued running your hand through her hair. 

“Oh won’t you be my livewire?

Make me feel like I’m set on fire

Your love will take me higher and higher

Oh won’t you be my livewire?” You sang softly into Carol’s ear, feeling her breathing even out as she fell asleep.

Tag list:  @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @5aftermidnight, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @veryfunnyal, let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[queenxxxsupreme]

First off, I'm sorry people have been pressuring you over requests, but also the one trick pony tag on you r post made me smile after s long day so I hope you're feeling better after the rant x I was wondering if yous fancy (you dont have too) writing steve/reader fix of him sketching her in the garden when shes concentrated on something maybe fluffy and cute and stuff? Totally up to you babe x

Note: Aw babe 💕💕I’m glad the one trick pony thing made you smile!!! I did feel better after that rant!! Sometimes getting shit out helps more than anything else. I hope you enjoy this🥰

Warnings: pregnant!reader, overprotective!Steve, fluffiness

 Blue eyes lifted from the sketch book in his lap. His brows drew together softly as he studied your features, firm and concentrated on the daisies. 

Steve sat on a bench in the garden behind your home in upstate New York. One ankle was crossed over his knee and the sketch book rested in his lap. He held a pencil in his hand, tapping the eraser against the book.

You were sitting on a bucket in the garden, trying to figure out why your daisies were looking so sad. You were doing your best to keep yourself busy. Your hips and lower back hurt. You needed to do something to take your mind off of the pain.

“I’m going to be so pissed if these die.” You muttered under your breath. 

Your husband chuckled softly, his eyes leaving you to add some shadow beneath your jaw. Once he was satisfied with how your jaw was turning out, he looked back up to you. You were nowhere in sight. 

Slightly alarmed that you had disappeared without him knowing, he uncrossed his legs and sat up. 

“Y/N?” He turned his head, carefully gazing over the garden.

“Over here, Steve.” Your hand came from behind a bright pink azalea bush.

He stood up, holding his sketch book and pencil in one hand as he moved to make sure you were okay. 

He found you on your knees bent over, messing with the weeds growing beneath the bush.

“Babe, I told you I’d get those later.” He knelt down beside you, placing the sketch book to the side. “You don’t need to be on your knees.”

“I’m pregnant, Steve, not disabled.” You told him.

“Yes, but the doctor said not to do anything too strenuous.” He put his hand on your back. You sat back, your hands holding your stomach. “What happened to your daisies?”

“I’m taking a break from them so I can figure out what’s wrong. Ya know, taking a step back to see the bigger picture.”

“You aren’t looking at the picture. You’re messing with the weeds - which I said me or Buck would do later.”

“Steve, I love you but go back to your bench.” You gave him a smile and leaned over to kiss him. “Finish whatever doodle you were doing and when you’re finished, I’ll quit messing.” 

You winced as the pain in your hips shifted. His brows drew together in concern. 

“I’m fine.” You insisted, shaking your head.

“You drive me crazy.” His hand slipped around your neck so he could kiss your forehead. “You’re so stubborn.”

“So are you.”

He laughed softly. 

“Guess that means we’re in trouble when the baby comes.” His hand left your neck to tenderly rub your stomach. 

You held his gaze, smiling at him. 

“You should go inside, take a little break. You’re hurting.”

“You’re distracting me.” You started to stand up. Steve gave you his arm, not wanting to push you to stand quicker than you were ready to. You used his arm for leverage, gripping tightly as you heaved yourself to your feet. Being nine months pregnant was not easy. “Shoo. Go back to your seat.”

“Be careful and I won’t have to leave my seat.” He teased, kissing your temple before he returned to the bench.

“What are we gonna do with him, baby?” You spoke under your breath to the unborn baby inside of you. 

Steve smiled softly, looking down at the sketch of you sitting on the bucket by the daisies. It was nearly done, he just had a few finishing touches to do. 

As you started to hum to keep yourself occupied, Steve finished up the drawing. He was adding the last bit of detail to your messy hair when you gasped. 

Immediately, he looked up and almost jumped to his feet, afraid something had happened. You were sitting on the bucket, holding your stomach as you looked down to the ground in front of yourself. The dirt appeared wet between your legs. 

You turned your head to look at Steve.

“The baby’s coming.”

Taglist: @isothetic @jennylovelyheart @romancebibliophilia @wayward-dream

[cowboycassini]

Partners

Chapter One

Rating: Overall E, this chapter T

Characters: Anakin Skywalker, Kix (mentioned), Jotopa Kaid, Toby

Warnings/Tags: Eventual Smut, dehumanization of clones, mutual pining, a pair of idiots running around a jungle

Summary: Anakin calls up his friend and fellow Knight Jotopa Kaid to run "a little mission" with clone captain Toby and basically ruins both their lives.

--- Mission Start ---

Unlike most of his brothers, Toby looked forward to the dreamlike state of deep stasis. He did not enjoy the fact that, born and bred as he was to command troops, he was put up in storage when not in use. Ever since the first hint of beard stubble had dusted the edges of his jaw as a gangly limbed cadet, whenever he dreamed, he dreamed of her.

Dreaming was not something of which he put much stock. Often, it interrupted what could otherwise be a deep and restful sleep with things he would much rather not remember. Even when he was young, it was so. It was better to sleep hard and think of nothing than so lightly that your mind is free to plague you with nonsensical renditions of all your fears, insecurities, and mistakes rolled into some terrifying metaphor that might trouble you for hours or days after and possibly lower your efficiency rating.

But dreams of her…

Despite popular belief, there were women on Kamino. There was the female Kaminiise, of course. They were as professional and impersonal in their treatment of him and his brothers as their male counterparts. When they hit puberty, the long necks exhibited the same levels of generalized disgust at their bodily emissions as well as their frequency. The Kaminiise seemed especially horrified by the fact that their position over their human creations and overall role as oppressors did not preclude them from being subjects of crude humor and worse. As if any human male had ever been especially picky when it came time to jack it. Their trainers, who they collectively regarded with a mingled sense of hate, respect, and misplaced love, also received the same treatment.

Not even the women trainers whom he had grown up under, who were brutal and competent, terrifying and awful and beautiful in the way only Mando’ade could be, could hold a candle to her.

He dreamed of her hands most often. The first time he saw them (in what his studies and training told him must be a forest though as a gangly seven and a half-year-old he’d still never set foot off Kamino, and half that first dream he spent staring in amazement at everything around him, everything he could never have dreamed of imagining) he’d been struck by how much smaller they had to be than his own were. A deep, dark brown, so rich he immediately wanted to reach out and touch it, the bones of her fingers long and delicate and strong. Elegant, he thought, the first time he’d ever needed to use the word seriously, these must be the hands of a princess. And then he watched enraptured as those lovely, lovely hands shouldered a rifle and sniped a man from three hundred meters.

Other dreams, regrettably, were not as violent or visceral in their intensity, but as he grew, his appreciation for them increased. Toby liked to see the galaxy through her eyes. He enjoyed seeing the vaunted, columnated, and shadowed halls she seemed to dread entering a little more each time he visited her. He looked forward to dreaming because it meant he might get to watch her practice movements that were strange and familiar in a room that seemed older than the bones of the planet he had been made on.

At first, nearly bursting out of his skin with excitement, with longing, with the urge to describe each new and incredible image seared into his rib cage, he would crawl into his brothers’ tubes and tell them about her, the beautiful princess he saw in his dreams. Pyro, the oldest after him, would listen sleepily so long as Toby let him stick his face in his neck and cuddle and didn’t complain about drool. Kit would listen absently as long as he offered the blank expanse of his back as a sacrifice for her doodling while he ranted. Checkmate wasn’t interested in his princess so much as her surroundings, and he would interrupt Toby’s sometimes painstaking descriptions of the exact curvature of her hips to ask detailed questions about her surroundings. Snow only cared when he mentioned food. But that who Snow was period, so Toby was unrepentant and unresponsive to his vod’ika’s complaints about missed sleep. Lucky was his most sympathetic brother in all things, always forgiving him his many, many faults, so he didn’t often disturb his rest with this.

Bad enough to be saddled with an ori’vod such as himself; Lucky should at least be allowed his complete ration’s sleep. And of course, for Toby, there was no breaching the solid wall of disdain Joker and Blue had erected. Within a few years, he learned to keep mentioning her to himself and focused on overcoming the mountain of defects he was decanted with.

When Toby was nearly full-grown and in ARC training, he comforted himself at night by recalling the vivid flashes of her in what must have been a festival in a small village. She’d caught the briefest glimpse of herself in a hazy mirror in that thick crush of sweaty, celebrating bodies, and the impression of her body burned in his mind’s eye. But there was still so much he didn’t comprehend no matter how he turned it over in his hands. He understood the glimpses of her thigh he got as she slapped a bacta patch over a wound, the sounds of blaster fire, of measured breathing as she ran or jumped or leaped what seemed to be impossible distances. She was a warrior and a competent one by all accounts. He did not understand why these seemed to occur less and less the older he grew. Why did the sound of her laughter make his chest ache? Why did it hurt more when reproachful silence replaced her laughter? And why, no matter how hard he tried, couldn’t he explain any of it to his brothers?

Though he had very little to go on, Toby knew she was the most beautiful woman in the universe. He knew it like he knew the feel of his blasters, knew it as intimately as his face, and Toby knew that if given a chance, he would do whatever he could to hear that laugh again and ease the ache in his chest its absence created.

Neck still slightly wet, and his hair freshly shaved into his trademarked undercut, toweled dry but still damp and curling in the crisp, sterile air of medbay, CC-4267, Toby slowly pulled on his blacks and armor as his superior officer stood off to the side with the medic, Kix, and made small talk.

He hadn’t been in stasis very long this time, he thought quietly, putting away thoughts of her, watching the way Skywalker and Kix spoke with such easy familiarity and not even noticing the pang of envy that lanced him, applying himself to the ordinary tasks of cataloging his kit and body. He’d been in the stasis tank long enough for his wounds to close but not so long that his newly acquired scar had smoothed over. Several times in the scant hour he’d been conscious, Toby had to physically stop himself from fingering the thick tissue running the width of his nose, from grimacing at the way it pulled when he so much as twitched his mouth. It would take getting used to. Thankfully, that’s what buckets were for, and so far, no jetiise he had the displeasure of working with had been so desperate to see his ugly mug as to order him to part with it.

His kit was the same as the last time he laid eyes on it though someone, likely Rex for reasons Toby could never understand, had retouched the scratched and faded blue lines. All of it was standard issue infantry gear and had been brand spanking new when given to him his first days under Skywalker’s command. It had only been the work of a few missions to rectify that. His loadout hadn’t been all that different in the Guard, really, but it was more trouble than it was worth to try and blast all that distinctive red paint off the plastoid when he could be issued fresh. He was a new man. Shiny to go with his shiny new promotion and shiny new unit. In the end, all he’d been able to take from his native company was his kama and the pair of gloves a fellow lieutenant had surreptitiously stuffed in his pack.

The helmet, of course, was new and looked utterly out of place, but that was fine. It would match its owner in that regard. He’d have to go down to the armory to check out his deecees, but unless the blast that had cracked his bucket and given him his pretty new scar had also done damage to his blasters, Toby was sure he would be issued the same pair of 17s he’d carried since coming to the 501st.

He rolled his shoulders, irritated to find that they were already knotted up with tension, and started pulling his armor on.

—

When Jedi Knight Jotopa Kaid of the significantly diminished House Ordo was somewhere around twelve or thirteen years old, she began to have strange dreams. They came, as many odd dreams do to young and inexperienced Force users such as herself, right as her life was turning to shit. She found it hard to give much thought to the jolting sense of awareness of vague l o n g i n g, a hollow, itching pull in her chest that tugged with a dull sort of insistence always in the same general direction when her Master had just up and abandoned her. D’Aleric traded her away to a Corellian smuggler for a juicy piece of intel, and even with her sheltered Temple upbringing, she knew enough to be terrified by the long and considering look Choruk Vance gave her once her Master’s ship made the jump to hyperspace without her inside.

But the Force, and Choruk Vance, had something else in mind when the smuggler looked into eyes that, though frightened, still bravely met his own. It was not long before Jotopa found herself handed off again, this time to the Mandalorian, Asha Kaid, herself and her sabers swapped for some previously agreed-upon amount. Asha Kaid would bestow her clan name upon Jotopa. But in those early days, it remained a mystery how or why a Mandalorian would want a discarded padawan.

These events kept her from thinking about her dreams, but as weeks then months went by, it truly settled in that her Master had abandoned her. She may as well get the grieving process for her old life over with sooner rather than later, she began to retake note of them. They were nothing to write home about initially, impressions more than anything: of being submerged, of pale, statuesque beings walking to and fro, their forms hazy, a sleepy sort of awareness over everything. It was strangely soothing and familiar in an almost primal way. She paid it no mind, and the dreams were not such a frequent occurrence that it was worth interrupting the daily rhythms of learning what being Mando’ade meant, especially for her.

It was not so different in its way than her early years at the Temple had been though the lessons were learning her way around various types of blasters and blades, detonators and when to use them, when to stand and fight and when to save your strength for another time. Though, she knew better than to say so to Asha Kaid! Her mentor, quickly her buir, was a typical Mandalorian and would not have appreciated the comparison for all its accuracy. She kept her sabers and the skills associated with them sharp because the Force was another tool in her arsenal, and only a foolish warrior did not use every tool at her disposal.

The years passed with slow surety. Jotopa fought, she meditated, grew in the Force, and her murky dreams gradually expanded. Now there would be startlingly vivid flashes of the same group of identical faces, their brown eyes wide and old in their young faces, and when she would wake, something about the sight of their still baby soft hands disassembling rifles would disquiet her for the rest of the day. A week would pass or perhaps a month or two, or maybe she was seventeen now, a time when once again her life was going to shit. Her memory is a bit chaotic, but she sees them again, older now, but she’s sure it’s the same set of identical faces, the one that she knows lying down and humming soothingly to another one. Somehow, she knows that a live-fire exercise killed one of her special boy’s brothers.

She carries his grief on the back of her tongue, its weight as heavy as the presence of her Master come to reclaim her.

You don’t have to go, her mother said with the resigned air of a lifelong inmate. You don’t have to go back to the Jetiise, kebii’tra.

And just as resigned, looking not at her Master but through him, thinking instead of the golden-eyed boy in her dreams, she said, No, but I want to.

But going back to the Jetiise did not make her a Jetii. Not to her, and not to them. To be sure, to the Council it did, and in the end, it was their opinion on the matter that most counted, but in the final long year of her apprenticeship in which she and her Master did not pretend to have any illusions with one another, it was not so.

Do you think me cruel, Kadijah? D’Aleric’s question, like so many she could recall put to her as a young learner, did not warrant an answer, and yet the use of her birth name encouraged her to do so regardless. Her Master used it so casually, as though he was still worthy of the honor of knowing the young girl to which it belonged. As if that girl still existed. Typical Jetii bullshit, she thought, looking steadily into the crimson eyes and rich sapphire face that had looked into her own and found her wanting.

I think nothing of you at all, Master. She’d said with a small, deprecating laugh. Who am I to challenge the will of the Force as interpreted by my elders? She paused then, eyes dark and hard as unworked beskar. And you will call me Jotopa from now on.

A series of whistles and chirps from her astrodroid shook her from her half-dreaming, half meditative state. From the wide span of the viewport of her standard-issue starfighter, Jotopa could just make out the ruggedly elegant outline of the Resolute breaking up the uniform blackness of open space around it. Her droid, R6, well used to her mistress's ways, had dropped out of hyperspace farther away than was usual for most Jedi, and Jotopa didn’t think she imagined the wearied tone the droid took with her.

“Yes, thank you, R6; I can see we’ve made it. I wasn’t sleeping; I was meditating! Please, please: don’t let me stop you from hailing them! I don’t want to be on the receiving end of their guns either.” She said with a laugh in response to R6’s messages. The little astrodroid was a delight to a life spent so much skimming the surface of other’s turmoils. She rather hoped that she would be able to take her along on whatever “top secret, super special, you’d be doing me suuuuuch a huge favor, JaJa, pleaseeeee” mission Anakin had called her across the galaxy for.

The Force prickled across her skin, grew thick and heavy in her blood. A sense of anticipation that weighed almost as heavily as her curiosity as she landed in the large bay. Jotopa sat for a moment with the feeling, breathed deeply even as her eyes scanned across the familiar armored forms moving here and there a respectful distance away from her ship. Clone troopers, she thought, has it been that long since my mission with Lieutenant Thire? Maybe I’ll get to talk to one or two before I leave and find out how he’s doing. The feeling settled to a manageable level, and she opened the hatch, releasing R6 from her place. The little blue and pink painted droid wheeled around to where she was indulging in a full-body stretch on the wing of her fighter. Jotopa noted the trooper who seemed to be waiting patiently for her and tilted her head at R6.

“I don’t have to tell you, but see about getting a tune-up while I’m busy? Who knows what sort of trouble Anakin has in store.” She said to her droid before jumping down from the wing of her ship and approaching the trooper. She bowed to him in greeting, a move that, though he was completely encased in his armor, surprised him because when she asked if he was there to escort her to General Skywalker; it took him several seconds to process the question and answer in the affirmative.

The walk was mostly silent, which was fine by her; there was plenty to see. Boarding the Resolute was her first time on such a large ship, and the immensity of it, its incredible smallness in the grandness of the universe, was startling. The life energy of the troopers pulsed around her, bright as any star, and when she caught a look at a few of them without their helmets, she saw the same freshness of face that had unsettled and humbled her in Thire. And permeating all, the sense of anticipation thickened so that she could barely breathe around it. This is it, the Force whispered as they walked down hallways and took lifts. They were going to medbay, the trooper was kind enough to explain. He was fresh, she thought around the shouting in her blood, too young and earnest to die in a war like this. This is it. This is it. This is it, thisisitthisisthisisitthisisitthisisitthisis itthisisitthisisitthisisitthisistthisisitthisis

“We’re here, sir.” He said at the entrance to medbay, and behind the impassive face of his bucket, he was eyeing the details of her serene face, the rich dark brown eyes only outdone by the hue of her skin, her lush mouth, and the black, coily cloud of her hair framing it all, and he sighed, inwardly jealous of the vod who was assigned to accompany her on her mission.

“We certainly are. Thank you for guiding me, kotep’ad. I can take it from here.” Jotopa said absently, completely missing the subtle double-take the trooper gave her. Were her steps hesitant? No, nothing scared her, not since that night. Her steps lengthened. She could hear the low tenor of Anakin’s voice and could tell that he was in a good mood as he spoke to two others. His Force presence was as it always was: a red giant, swollen and pulsing. No. A more apt description would be a star on the verge of going supernova. A star could go millions, billions of years in that state, existing just on the edge until something tipped it over, and the resulting blast destroyed everything in its wake.

The medbay of the Resolute was moderately full, which told her that their last battle was recent but not terribly so. Most of the troopers in the beds were either sleeping or busying themselves with their datapads, but she could see sabacc cards and even a few poorly concealed dice bags. A few were well enough to sit with each other, a fact that one with heavy beard stubble and a healing slash across his eye seemed to regret as she noted him being bombarded by his very chatty bedmate. Jotopa was still stifling her laugh into her hand at the longsuffering look he shot her way when she passed him when she finally approached the row of bacta tanks and beds next to them.

Anakin was standing with his back to her, talking with a clone dressed in medical scrubs who she assumed must be a technician of some sort. Behind them was another clone, but she could only see his boots and the blue paint of his shin guards. This is it! Her blood was singing with the strength of the Force’s exultant song. This is it! Finally! Finally! It crackled over her skin, and her fists clenched around the wild desire to run and dispelled it. A sense of questioning, a tendril of sentience that most wouldn’t dare speak of: This is it, are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

Those armored legs, the nervous tapping of fingers in a curiously red-painted gauntlet as he shifted slightly forward and a knee came into view.

Yes, she answered. Yes. Yes.

“I could’ve killed you ten different times by now, Anakin.” She said, grinning when he spun around, lively blue eyes wide and startled.

“Sleenspit, JaJa, you scared the hell outta me! Is it your mission in life to shave years off of my life, huh?” He asked, bundling her up in a friendly side hug. She rolled her eyes and tilted her head up.

“It wouldn’t be so easy if you weren’t so trusting.” She said pointedly, and now it was his turn to roll his eyes. Anakin was one of the few who had not shunned her when she returned to the Temple. Perhaps because of his pariah status, or maybe because they often ran into each other in the same deserted halls of the Temple, despite the vast gulf in their training though not their comparative years, the two of them had become fast friends. When she had been Knighted and took on the mysterious work of the Sentinel, he was one of the few she kept in contact with.

“Yeah yeah, you’ve said it a million times: a friend is quicker with a knife than an enemy. I hear you, O wise Jedi Master, I hear you.” Jotopa barely refrained from scoffing and instead glanced at the medic, who was watching their interaction with undisguised curiosity. Anakin still had her tucked loosely against his side, and his sturdy form blocked her view of the other trooper, the one the Force was leaping for joy around. Couldn’t Anakin feel it? Couldn’t he tell how special, how important that man was?

“Aren’t you going to introduce me? I know Master Obi-Wan taught you better than that!” She jabbed him gently in the ribs. With his flesh hand, he rubbed the spot where her elbow had dug into his side, his face relaying his usual crack about her sharp elbows. He nodded toward the young clone in the scrubs, a smile of pride lighting over his features.

“This is Kix, my Chief Medical Officer. He oversees any time any of my guys comes out of stasis, and this,” he said, (Finally! This is it! Finally!) stepping back so that the trooper sitting on the bed could be fully seen, “is Captain Toby. When I heard about this mission, I knew he’d be the perfect one to help you with it, JaJa. He’s great.” Anakin’s words seem to come to her from a long way off. She heard them, and she was sure she was saying something, but Jotopa couldn’t tear her eyes away from the man sitting on the bed. He was sitting at attention, his shoulders stiff with a tension that wasn’t noticeable in the politely attentive expression on his face. The thick scar that stretched across his nose looked fresh, still shiny in a way that explained the faint twitching of his nose, as though he wasn’t used to how it pulled at his skin. He didn’t look thrilled to see her. There’d been something akin to horror on that achingly handsome face for the briefest of moments, but when she queried, hesitantly, of the Force, she was nearly bowled over by the certainty of the response.

This is the one. This is the one you’ve been waiting for.

Well shit. At least she could breathe a bit easier now. After accepting the datapad with the mission details from Anakin, Jotopa turned and watched as he and Kix walked away with only the slightest hint of rising hysteria. Leave it to Anakin, who did everything from the seat of his pants, to use her utter shock against her and dump a mission and a strange man on her. She didn’t even know if he’d requisitioned a ship for them to travel in, and the mental image of her attempting to stuff the captain in her starfighter nearly made her choke.

“Ah, excuse me…? Knight Kaid, sir?” He asked, and Jotopa closed her eyes and inwardly swore. His voice! It was just like hangar bay trooper’s and like Kix’s, and yet neither one of their voices made the fine hairs on her arms stand on end. Perhaps from being in stasis? It sent goosebumps rippling up her bare arms. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice. She forcefully released her anxiety into the Force and turned to face him. She’d met countless handsome men in her lifetime. He was no different, Force shenanigans or no, and she would not ogle him; she would treat him like the competent soldier he was, complete this mission, and that was that.

--

When General Skywalker told him the Jetii he would be working with was a good friend of his, Toby wasn’t sure if that was a blessing or a curse. He liked his General and admired his courage and fighting spirit, but it didn’t take an incredibly smart vod to notice how much of a disaster the man was. And with Jetiise in particular, like attracted like, so he couldn’t help nor dispel the nervous jiggling of his leg that started up when it came through that the Jetii, Knight Kaid, had arrived and was making her way to medbay. At least in the Guard, you knew what you were getting into day to day with snooty senators. Each Jetii was as different as a fingerprint. Skywalker, kind in his awkward way, noticed his show of nerves.

“You don’t have to worry about a thing with Jotopa, Toby. She’s excellent; you won’t have any problems. If you two don’t come back as best friends, I’ll file my reports on time.” He said with his usual confident smile.

Kix snorted. “Better not then, sir. If the General starts filing his reports on time, Captain Rex might keel over from the shock to his system.” Toby huffed a laugh at Skywalker’s indignant exclamation.

He would have thought they would announce her presence over the ship’s comms, but she slipped in among them silent as a ghost. His first glimpse of her was around the startled twist of Skywalker’s body, a flash of dark skin and a cloud of hair, and then her voice, soft and husky and sweet even in the chiding tone she took with her fellow Jetii. There was a feeling, overwhelming and strange and familiar. He swallowed his heart back down where it had lodged beneath his jaw, unsure where to look and even more unsure why, and then there was nowhere to look but Knight Kaid because Skywalker was stepping back and introducing them. It was all he could do to sit at attention and keep the blank face that hid all feeling because it was her, the woman with the elegant hands, the princess he saw in his dreams, and dead stars; she was even more beautiful in person. Like Skywalker, she didn’t wear the traditional Jetiise clothing; instead, she wore a sleeveless black leather vest brightly detailed in red and pink embroidery. It was half unzipped and revealed a mesh undershirt. To keep himself professional, he looked instead at the well-cared-for utility belt around her hips. Toby noted her black spandex shorts covered by a delicately detailed kama made of sturdy cloth. Her boots ended at midcalf. His eyebrows twitched in surprise when she turned to watch Skywalker and Kix leave, and he spotted the cleverly hidden handles of two knives on them.

Now that the full force of her gaze wasn’t on him, he ran a gloved hand through his hair and reasoned with himself. Calm down, di’kut. You’re still loopy from stasis. It can’t be her. She’s a figment of your imagination, a product of getting knocked around too many times as a cadet. Don’t start acting like a karking lunatic around this Jetii and get sent off for reconditioning. It made sense. It made a ton of sense, just as it had when Joker, sick of hearing his talk about his dream princess, had first sat down and said it to him. Lucky had told Joker to leave him be. It was a harmless fantasy, a coping mechanism. Just his luck that his coping mechanism manifested herself right before his eyes. She was still turned, the datapad held loosely in her hand, her head tilted. He got the impression that she would be content standing there until the last star burned out.

Against his better judgment, he got her attention. She turned to face him, a soft frown pulling at her full lips, and panic surged up his spine. Had he already managed to upset her?!

“Captain? Would you do me a favor please?” She asked, and now she was at the edge of his personal space, just enough that he could log away in the back of his mind that she smelled like jasmine and vanilla and had to tilt his head up just slightly to meet her eyes. Her eyes were an even darker brown than her skin but just as rich, he thought. From a distance, they appeared black.

“Yes, sir. If I can, I will.” He liked the way her nose crinkled around the smile she gave him at his answer.

“I know it’s probably in your regulations, gotta respect rank and all, but at least when it’s just you and I, do you think you could call me Jotopa? I would appreciate it a lot.”

He didn’t know who the brave soldier it was who rumbled, “Elek, think I can manage that, sir,” in reply but if it earned him more of those looks, a look he wasn’t sure she knew she gave him, he was fine with the vod seizing hold of his faculties every now and again.

She cleared her throat and looked down at the datapad in her hand, her brows furrowing as she scanned the details of their mission. Suddenly, she laughed, the sound vaguely disbelieving.

“I pity the trooper tasked with putting this briefing together. They might as well have not bothered. The barest details are here: the planet name, coordinates, and our objective. I’ve done more with less, but this is ridiculous. And I still don’t know if Anakin got us a ship.” Toby bit the inside of his cheek to control his expression. She was grousing like an old field sergeant! And had the face to match! He recalled his earlier sentiment about Skywalker and his friends and bit his cheek harder.

“May I see the datapad, sir? I may be able to see if the quartermaster requisitioned any supplies for us.” She handed it over easily enough, an annoyed glint playing around her dark eyes, another fascinating expression Toby memorized and logged away in the back of his mind before quickly focusing on the pad. It was interesting having her eyes on him while performing one of the simplest tasks he knew. Something about the heaviness of her eyes, her gaze almost a physical weight: it scattered his focus like water through open fingers. But still, it wasn’t more than thirty seconds before he had the pertinent information pulled up.

“Here it is, sir.” He said, muting his amusement as much as he could.

“Where?” She asked, and now she was entirely in his personal space, bent over to scowl at the screen, her hair and its thousands of tiny coiling ringlets brushing his jaw.

“Ah, see? Right here, it says you were issued a small ship, one ARC-rated clone, and two months’ worth of rations, plus weapons.” He said, only daring to breathe again when she pulled back, a sheepish expression on her face. She half-turned, her hands clasped in front of her. He had the fleeting thought that she was upset. The surety of the notion prickled across his skin, and Toby shivered, unsure of what to do with the feeling or why he was feeling it. He cocked his head, considering. Should he say something…? But she was smiling at him, her posture calm and assured again, and he dismissed it as more stasis nonsense. She was fine. She was a Jetii, wasn’t she? Wouldn’t appreciate the undue concern from the likes of him, of that Toby was certain.

“I’m glad to see that our supplies are in order, Captain. If you’d like to say your goodbyes to any of your brothers and gather whatever else you need, I’ll meet you on our transport when you're ready?” Toby knew a dismissal when he heard one, so he nodded and stood. It wasn’t important for her to know that there were no brothers on board who cared much about his comings and goings, so he followed her out of medbay, went right when she went left, making his way to the armory to check out his DCs. They were the same ones. The armorer, Oops, held him for about fifteen minutes because she wanted to know just what he’d gotten into for the blasters to need the kind of TLC she’d had to put into them to make them serviceable again. Since she loved his babies probably more than he did, he did her the solid of telling her the story blow by blow. They needed to let the kid out to see a little action now and then, but she had the magic touch when it came to breathing life into weapons that looked beyond saving. He made a note to bring her something nice back from wherever the hell he was headed if he could.

“All set?” Knight Kaid asked when she spotted him heading up the ship’s ramp with his weapons and pack. He paused halfway up to see her walking his way, a backpack and cloak slung over her shoulder, and a pink and blue astromech droid following after her.

“Yes, sir. Ready to go when you are.” He said, still studying the droid. It was of the same type as Skywalker’s R2-D2 though he doubted Knight Kaid’s was near as modified. The little droid’s casing was mainly white and pink with blue detailing. As the droid and her mistress walked up the ramp, the droid beeped at him in a distinctly disapproving manner. Knight Kaid laughed.

“Captain Toby, this is R6-D4. R6, this is Captain Toby. He’s a vital part of this mission, young lady, so be on your best behavior. Captain, if you don’t mind raising the ramp? I’ll get us into hyperspace while you’re getting settled in your quarters, and then we’ll try and puzzle out what the kriff we can do.” She called from within the ship, and Toby was halfway through following her orders before the rest of her sentence fully registered in his conscious mind.

“Skywalker, what the hell have you gotten me into?” He murmured as he watched the ramp close and felt the rumble of the engines warming. The ship shuddered slightly as it became airborne, lifting up and away from the Resolute. Toby put his hand against the hull and closed his eyes, breathed slowly and deep to attune himself to the hum of this ship and these engines, breathed out again when he felt the gentle lurch once they made the jump to hyperspace. Only then did he find the empty room that was his and dump his helmet and pack. Toby would have to be careful. More careful than he usually was. There was something…

He hovered just inside the doorway of the cockpit. His steps were light and near-silent, but Kaid still spun around in the slow, measured way of someone who’d sensed his presence a long way off. Her expression was not as animated as it had been on the ramp or even in medbay. Still, he thought it was softer and more genuine now, the tilt of the faint smile on her lips more real than even the playfulness she and Skywalker had openly displayed with one another. He rested his weight against the frame, at a more relaxed position of parade rest, and the faint smile widened.

“Our objective is a world called Cassios-7. The scans are centuries old, the latest intel just as ancient. There are Temple ruins there, and you and I have been asked to recover the important artifact that has been minding its own business all these long years. Sounds delightful.” She said dryly, and he didn’t know what to do with the odd desire he had to laugh at her tone. Rather than heed it, he tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment. The beautiful Jetii’s lips quirked curiously at him before she continued.

“Luckily for us, Anakin wasn’t too terribly far off from Cassios-7 to begin with. We should be there within five hours. A few days, a week at most, and I’ll have you back with your brothers and all the comforts of civilization, Captain.”

“I can’t wait.” He said in much the same tone she had just used. She smiled widely and motioned for him to sit in the copilot’s chair. Toby moved to obey, masking his surprise. None of the other Jetiise he’d had the displeasure of working with since leaving the Guard had ever offered him a seat. As he gingerly eased into the chair next to her, he realized he’d relegated all Jetiise barring Skywalker and Kenobi as being on the same moral level as the snobby senators. They treated him and his brothers as little more than well-trained animals.

“I love your enthusiasm, Captain,” she quipped, her gaze casual but somehow probing even as she threw her legs over the arm of her seat, careless of the way the edges of her kama splayed around it to display the bare skin of her legs from mid-thigh to the tops of those sturdy boots.

“It’s one of my better traits, sir.” He said, proud of how evenly the words left him and glad for his helmet and the way it hid the direction of his eyes. It would have been harder not to look at the dark brown of her legs when they were in such close quarters. The only way to avoid it would be not to look at her at all, which would be rude. And obvious. Behavior like that would land him in the stasis tank, and he was so tired of that, so tired of being put in storage when he wasn’t in use, like a rifle that didn’t have an owner.

It was just that she was so pretty. It was just that when she used his name, it felt like she meant it. And that must be a trick, right? Some Jetiise power he was only just encountering: this ability she had to make him feel important just by looking at him and saying his name.

In his lap, his hands flexed as he tried to dispel the unwelcome tension in them. Just a few days. You can handle that, can’t you?

Their first view of Cassios-7 was as they dropped out of hyperspace and settled into lazy orbit around it to complete a few scans to update their intel. The planet was a sapphire jewel flecked with shards of amethyst and emerald, whispers of white clouds swirling at its poles and trailing like wedding veils behind the sparsely located but dense and steaming jungle island chains that were the main landmasses. The purple was floating remnants of destroyed Temples, this planet having, as Jotopa theorized with a furrowed brow and an exhilarated light in her eyes, been part of some ancient war and then lost to obscurity.

“I can only imagine that it’s all this fighting that’s awakened the artifact inside the remaining Temple structure,” she said pensively.

“So, we’ve been called here to retrieve it before the Separatists do and possibly weaponize it against us, sir?” Toby asked as he watched her hands move over the controls. She had slender, elegant fingers. Her movements were competent, the fingernails blunt and bitten down, though this did not negate his preceding opinion one bit. She had hands that looked like they knew their way around a blaster. He jerked his eyes up to her face, flushed to see her smiling at him with seeming pleasure at his comment.

“I believe so, Captain. You and I may be able to save a lot of lives by securing this artifact.” She answered, and he didn’t think he was wrong in identifying a note of melancholy in her voice. He filed the observation away, shifted his focus toward the glittering shards of Temple ruins sedately hovering on one of the floating rock isles. Jotopa locked in a course towards it and stood up to stretch.

“Alright, then! We’ve got a few minutes until we land, so I’m going-”

There was a strange jolt; that’s what the both of them would later recall. A jolt and a winding down sound and then the s i c k e n i n g lurching of the stomach as it rammed up past the heart and made a home next to the brain stem.

Falling, free falling.

Heaving breathing. The sound of his blood pounding in his ears drowning out everything for a terrifying moment before everything snapped into laser focus.

Knight Kaid’s hands grappling with the controls. Her eyes, fierce, determined, focused.

Silence loud with the sound of turbulence and rushing wind.

Green, so much fucking green, rich with brown and purple and the azure blue of the sky, and Maker’s tears, they were going to die, they were going to die, they were going to -

[perriewinklenerdie]

After working hours (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Author’s note: Hello, hello, hello! It’s Christmas break! Finally! That means lots of sleep and time to write (kind of, sort of, I think, I hope).  We’re still in the other timeline, and I’m still not sure how to go around the whole ‘series’ thing, but it’s pretty obvious that it’s going to be a series :D

Previous parts in timeline order:

~Before we met again

~Into your arms

~Sugary lips

~After working hours

~Convincing enough

AO3 link:

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/21900202

 Tag list:   @paleweasels , @lilyofchoices , @hopelessromantic1352 , @aloehasrose , @valiantlychaoticbarbarian , @radlovedreamer , @usuallyamazinglyaverage, @palestazure, @cordoniaqueensworld, @universallypizzataco, @princess-geek, @faithhasnowords, @mightyfangirlofthefandoms, @drakewalkerfantasy, @timmagicktoad, @laceandlula, @greywitchyshots, @llamasgrl, @gingerjane15, @bucket-harrington , @marywrites-things , @ethanplaysfavorites , @mfackenthal , @betelgeusebee , @simsvetements,  @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction, @buzz-bee-buzz, @owleyes374, @cora-nova, @aworldoffandoms, @l822, @cream-ray, @ughhhxjazzy, @silverlitskies, @justendlesssummerfeels, @togetherwearerapture, @desmaranj, @edgiestwinter, @friedherringclodthing, @daisy-ashton, @waytooattuned, @choicesgremlin , @lapisreviewsstuff, @the-soot-sprite, @writerapprentice, @chasingrobbie,@choicesobsessedd, @cassiusownsmyass, @x-kyne-x, @thisperfectmemory, @drakewalker04, @rookie-ramsey, @jlynn12273, @thepinknymph @dr-brianna-casey-valentine, @a-i-n-a-a-s-h

Enjoy! <3

-------------

His office was as quiet as it could have been at that time of the day. Theoretically, his shift was over an hour ago, but being a doctor meant that his work never really stopped. That’s why he was there, buried in paperwork, when he could have been at home, with Jenner, much more comfortable than his office chair could ever be. Two empty cups where coffee used to be were sitting next to his phone on his desk, along with his calendar. He debated whether he should stand up and get himself a third cup when the door to his office flew open. Too surprised to react, he watched as his intruder walked over to him, sat down on the edge of his desk and smiled at him.

“Get up, Ramsey, we’re going out.” Claire spoke up, reaching with her hand to brush a stray lock of his hair away from his face. Her touch lingered on his cheek and he leaned into it, the corners of his lips rising slightly.

“Next time you pull off a stunt like that, Herondale, I’ll drive you up against the wall.” He warned, their eyes meeting. Playful specks flickered in hers, his words sparking humor.

“Kinky. Just make sure you keep me against it or else I’ll escape. Press me with your body or something.”

She was seeking his reaction and that’s exactly what she got. His strangled moan filled the space between them, causing her to grin widely, clearly satisfied with herself. Ethan ran his hands up the sides of her legs, coming to a stop at her hips, pulling her closer to him. She looked down at him, smirking slightly, before leaning into him, capturing his lips in a searing kiss. He hummed slightly, smiling at her as he got lost in the sensation.

A sharp knock on the door caused them to pull away but didn’t give them enough time to step away from each other, so when a person came in, Ethan’s arms were still wrapped tightly around her. First, he saw a white coat, then he saw long, brown hair, and he immediately knew who it was.

“Well, that was certainly not what I expected you to be doing.” A woman mused, looking between the pair with an unreadable expression. Claire stood up hastily, her cheeks flushed. Ethan stood up slowly, placing his hand on the small of Claire’s back to calm her down.

“It’s past my working hours, I can do whatever I please.”

“You sure can, just make sure you don’t break anything while you’re at it.” the woman flashed them both a smirk, causing Claire to blush even more. Ethan stepped forward, smiling softly.

“Claire, this is Harper Emery, Chief of medicine here. Harper, this is Clarissa Herondale-“

“Yes, I recall you telling me about her. As a matter of fact… ” Harper interrupted him, grinning with mischief as she approached Claire, leaning closer to her. “… he doesn’t shut up about you. So much so, that it’s getting a bit annoying.”

Claire’s mouth fell open as she smiled, looking at him teasingly. Ethan looked at the floor, trying to avoid her gaze, but the moment he felt her hand gripping his arm, he lifted his eyes to her, shrugging his shoulders.

“Is that so?” she spoke brightly, then turned to Harper, extending her hand towards her. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Claire. You’re definitely something else, I don’t remember him being so struck when we were together. His behavior now… that’s a first.” She wondered out loud, revealing the nature of their relationship, making Claire’s stomach twist with insecurity. Harper dropped her voice to a gentle whisper. “Take care of him.” and with that, she left the room.

Neither of them said a word for a long moment. For the most part, Claire was confused. Harper intimidated her, made her feel like she met a potential friend and a potential enemy at the same time. She waited for Ethan to say something, but it seemed as though he was at a loss of words.

There were a million of thoughts, running through his head. He didn’t plan for Claire to meet Harper that soon, and he definitely didn’t want her to find out that they dated from her. He tried to read Claire’s face, tried to figure out what was going on in that beautiful head of hers, but, as always, she was an enigma. He took a deep breath and reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together loosely.

“How are you feeling?” he muttered slowly, unsure how to proceed. She sighed, looking down at their joined hands.

“I’m not sure. I mean, I wasn’t ready to meet your ex today, and I guess I just… don’t know how what to think.” She answered quietly, her shoulders falling. He noticed it right away, and immediately knew what the reason for her foul mood was. Letting go of her hands, he embraced her hesitantly, giving her an option to push him away if she wanted. She didn’t, instead falling into his arms, groaning in frustration. “I’m sorry, I’m being ridiculous. I know that I shouldn’t feel that way, you’re probably thinking I’m acting like a child.”

“I don’t think you’re being immature if that’s what you’re worried about. I would however like to know what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours.” He muttered, pressing his lips to her hair.

“What else is new.” She grinned slightly, wrapping her arms around his middle, nuzzling into his chest. Silence fell upon them again, their bodies remaining in the same position for such a long amount of time that their balance started to falter, so instead of standing in one place, Ethan began gently swaying from side to side, pulling her along with him. He placed his hands on her hips, humming a song that sounded almost too familiar to her.

“What is that tune?” she asked, giggling a little as his lips brushed against her neck, tickling her.

“Frank Sinatra.” He responded, picking her up and twirling her around. Claire’s laughter rang in the air, her hands gripping his shoulders tightly.

“Why am I not surprised.” With her forehead resting against his collarbone, she took a deep breath, steadying herself for their conversation ahead. “Okay, let’s get to the point.”

She pulled him by his hand to the couch, pushing him lightly to sit down, and she went to sit down next to him, but he was faster, wrapping his arms around her waist and hauling her onto his lap. She squealed, stroking his cheek with her finger delicately when she was sitting safely in his embrace.

“I’m not sure what to think of Harper. She’s a beautiful woman and I don’t want you to jump in and start ensuring me that I have nothing to worry about and blah blah blah, I’m not like that… oh my god, I sound like such a teenager, please stop me now.” she sighed, stopping her rant for only a second, giving him absolutely no time to react or say anything. “Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I kinda want Harper to like me and I feel like we could be best goddamn friends, but I also feel like she is just… better than me?” she shrugged her shoulders, laying her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes, her breathing evening out as she let everything out. Ethan remained silent for the next few seconds before turning his head, guiding her lips to his, capturing them in a soft kiss that seemed to never end. By the time they came up for air, their breathing was elevated, and there was a goofy grin on her lips. “If you’re trying to reassure me, let me tell you that one, it’s kinda working but two, I’ll definitely need more convincing.”

“If you need me to kiss you to reassure you that you’re the one I want…” he dropped his voice to a deep, smooth whisper before kissing her again.

---- ---- ----

One year later

---- ---- ----

Ethan opened the door to his apartment with a sigh, the stress of a full day in the hospital leaving his body, leaving his muscles feeling light. He heard giggles in the living room, and was pretty sure it was Claire, most probably watching some silly TV show that made her giggle. Jenner greeted him, waggling his tail and walked with him as Ethan made his way further into his home. A sight that was waiting for him was not what he expected.

Claire was there, lying on the couch, covered by a blanket, what looked like an empty cup where tea used to be was on the coffee table. She was not alone, next to her was no other than Harper, laughing along with his wife, tears streaming down their faces.

“Do you want tissues? Food? A sedative?” he asked as he approached him, bending down to kiss Claire’s forehead tenderly. Harper snickered, pretending she’s puking.

“Every time I see you two being affectionate, I can’t believe it’s the same Ethan. I must congratulate and thank you, Claire, work has never been easier than it is now.” she punched Ethan’s shoulder playfully before he managed to take a step back.

“I don’t want it to seem like I’m kicking you out but-“

“You’re kicking me out.” She concluded, hugging Claire tightly before standing up.

“It’s been a long day and I want a quiet evening with my wife.” He justified, seeing the teasing smile sliding onto Harper’s face.

“Trust me, I get it. And hear me when I say, I don’t want to hear anything more about it.” she winked at Claire, making her way to the door. Just as she was about to walk out of their apartment, she called out to them. “Don’t break the bed!”

When they were alone, he hovered over her, his hands resting on her shoulders, massaging her slightly. She groaned, falling deeper into the couch, her eyes falling shut.

“How was your day?” she asked, patting a space next to her. He complied with her wishes, sitting down by her side, and then once more when she maneuvered him to lie down with his head on her lap, her fingers running through his hair.

“Long. Full of goddamn interns.”

“Yeah, I heard they are the worst.” Claire trailed off playfully, thinking back to her own day, to her new friends, other interns, how much she had to stop herself from even thinking about touching Ethan, because even the mere thought of him made her weak. She knew he was going through the same struggle, which quickly became the main cause of jokes in their group of friends that consisted of them, Harper, Naveen, Zaid and Ines, all very much aware of the situation and very much aware of all the ways they could mess with the married couple, aware that Ethan and Claire wouldn’t be able to do a damn thing to defend themselves in the public setting.

“All I could think about for the whole day was how I was going to get home and pull you into my arms, carry you to our bedroom and throw you onto the bed, make you writhe against the mattress, say my name so many times it becomes etched into your mind…” he muttered, looking up at her with a smirk, his eyes impossibly dark. Claire groaned, biting down on her lower lip, her legs brushing against one another to provide any form of friction.

“You’re tired. Think you can keep up with me?” she challenged him, trailing a single finger down his jaw, along the column of his neck. He stood up, gathering her in his arms, walking towards their bedroom with confidence and in great hurry.

“Be cocky all you want, Rookie, you’re going to sing a different tune soon.”

She pressed her lips to his ear, moaning into it. “Let’s go break that bed.”

[luna-redamancy]

Trying (Thorin x Female!Reader)

Note: So Tumblr decided to delete the entire text for this, randomly, and I don’t exactly know why? But I fixed it, hopefully. I hope you all like it!

Warnings: Pregnancy, slight self-hatred, PCOS

Author Note: The reader has a “medical condition” that leads her to believe she can’t have children. This is a medical disorder called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which among several other things can cause fertility problems. This is a slightly personal story for me because I have PCOS, and I have been informed that the way my hormone levels are, I may never be able to get pregnant without undergoing heavy fertility treatments for months. I hope you enjoy this story! 

Word Count: 1411

Walking through the halls, you tensed as you felt eyes on you once more. As Queen of Erebor, you were watched by all, respected by all. 

Inhaling through your nostrils you closed your eyes for a moment, before continuing onward, your dress swaying behind you and your crown perfectly placed on your head. You were the prime example of a Queen, formal, relaxed, every hair in place. 

“I can’t believe King Thorin still doesn’t have an heir…” Your ears picked up on not so subtle whispering as you walked through the halls to you and your husband’s bedding chamber. 

“Is she broken?”

“Maybe King Thorin will have to take a mistress.”

“She clearly must not satisfy his needs enough for her to get pregnant,” One snappy voice caught your attention causing a saddened glare to come over your features. 

“Ladies, I do believe it is half past time for your shifts to be over,” You called, noticing they were loitering instead of finishing their duties as royal maids. 

“There isn’t to be anyone but the royal family in these halls after your duties are finished,” You continued, your voice firm when in reality you were holding back tears. 

You had a medical condition that helped women before you survive ages of hunger, cold, dangerous childbirth, however, it didn’t help you now. You struggled to get pregnant with an heir for Thorin, one of your main duties as the Queen of Erebor. You were a failure as his wife, in your eyes.

The dwarrowdam’s flusteredly ran out of the royal hall, muttering apologies to you as they walked by. Once the hall was empty, you let out a deep breath from your nose, your regal mask dissolving as your lower lip quivered, a single tear sliding down your face. 

Picking up the lower hems of your dress, you hurried to your bedding chamber, throwing open the door and slamming it behind your back, tears now falling freely. You couldn’t breathe. Gasping you began to rip off your dress, tugging off the tightly laced corset underneath the gown and above your slip. 

Once the wretched material was away from you, you took deep breaths, silencing yourself as you slid to the floor, your hand stroking your stomach. 

“Oh, Mahal…” You whimpered, letting your head rest against the wooden door.  Thinking of all the things you could’ve done to further your ways of getting pregnant, to change this ‘gift’ that was past down from your mother and her mothers before her. 

“(Y/n)?” Thorin’s voice cut through your thinking, confusion and worry laced in his voice as his eyes searched you for injury, seeing your clothes nearly ripped to shreds on the floor. 

“What happened, my Givashel?” Thorin questioned, dropping to his knees beside you. 

Laughing bitterly you shook your head, wiping your face. You looked like a mess, your crown nearly falling off your head, tear stains coating your cheeks, and your left slip strap falling off your shoulder. 

“I’m…” You began, suddenly furrowing your brow as you tried to find the proper words. “I am a failure,” You sighed as you grabbed your crown off your head, knowing it was going to fall off any minute. Placing it beside you, you continued staring at the ceiling, knowing that if you’d meet his concerned gaze you’d breakdown all over again.

“What’re you talking about?” Thorin was enraged, who made you feel like you were a failure, undeserving of your title, of your place beside him as his One.

“Who made you feel this way?” 

“I did... “ You lowered your gaze to your hands, now picking at your nails, feeling the stinging at your fingertips as a form of stress relief at the moment. 

“I am supposed to give you an heir, Thorin,” You began tears filling your eyes once more. “I should have been able to give you one by now, we should have a child by now,” You whimpered, bringing your hand back over your stomach, silently wishing to feel a baby’s kick meet your palm. 

“(Y/n), I don’t expect--” 

“But you hope,” You finally dragged your eyes over to his, “For the past three years, Thorin, you hope. I see the way you look at my stomach after we make love Thorin, how you look so hopeful when I go to Oin to just check if I’m with a child,” Your voice sounded broken, nothing like the melodic tone you had earlier that morning when you two said good morning to each other. 

“I don’t care if you never have a single child, if you never give me an heir, I can pass the throne to Fili or Kili, whoever would like to take the throne, I care that you are healthy and that you are happy,” Thorin stopped your rant, cupping your face in his large hands, his thumbs wiping away your tears as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“I just want my One happy and content,” He finished, rubbing his nose against yours as you began to lean into him, your mood lifting from its deep abyss. 

Pressing a soft kiss to your lips, Thorin pulled you from the floor and into his lap, letting you rest your head in the crook of his neck, his hands rubbing down your back and hair soothingly. 

“If you want to keep trying, we will, but please do not deem yourself a failure simply because of something only in control of fate,” Thorin soothed, pressing kisses along your temple. 

“I love you,” You whispered, not wanting to speak too loud as if you were going to shatter the small blissful bubble that you were now entrapped in. 

2 Weeks Later - 

The sunlight wasn’t what woke you up this morning. It was the sudden rush to get up and rush to the ensuite to empty your stomach. 

Gasping you threw the furs off your body and rushed to the bathroom, a wretch leaving your throat as last nights dinner mixed with bile filled the handwash bucket. Tears fell from your eyes as the feeling of nausea didn’t leave your system as you sat against the stone wall. 

Thorin came through the archway with a glass of water for you to rinse your mouth, holding you close to his chest. For the past week you’ve been vomiting, and you didn’t want to get your hopes up for the reason why. 

“We should see Oin,” Thorin decided, helping you to your feet. He didn’t like not knowing what was wrong and how to help you, Thorin was very protective of you and the fact that he didn’t know what was wrong was driving him up the wall. 

Sighing you nodded, bracing yourself against Thorin’s broad chest. 

“Fine,” You muttered your consent as Thorin grabbed one of his tunics out of the wardrobe and carefully helped you slide it over your body. “Can you walk?” Thorin questioned, more than happy to simply pick you up and carry you to the medical wing.

Laughing softly at his concerned voice, you nodded, “I can walk just fine, my love.” 

Moments later, you lay on the medical table as Oin went through several tests with you, asking you questions about your last moon cycle and things of that nature. 

“I don’t want to get your hopes up…” Oin began, rubbing his doubly braided beard out of nervousness. “But I believe Queen (Y/n) is with a child.”

Your eyes widened as your hand flew down to your stomach in joy this time, “Y-you mean to tell me…” Your eyes began to fill up with tears. After so long of being crushed by the mere thought of a child you’d never have, it felt like your lungs were granted the gift of air, suddenly being able to breathe freely as Thorin held back tears of his own.

“Given your condition, Queen (Y/n) you may have difficulty with your pregnancy, I want you to come in for a check-up at least once a week,” Oin ordered with a smile on his face as you nodded in agreement, hugging onto Thorin now.

“I’m so happy,” You mumbled into his neck as you felt his unseen tears hit the flesh of your neck. The first time you had seen him cry was when he lifted your veil at your wedding, three years ago, and now three years later, when you find out you were to be with a child soon. 

Tags:

@lady-of-lies @all-things-fandomstuck  @fizzyxcustard @izzydaelleth @aquaangel18@raindancer2004 @love-colorfulglittercollection @queenunderthemountainx

 @greennightspider @ashleygrrrl @skylarkvip @makeshift-prime

[tryintheirbest]

Pain Is So Close To Pleasure - Part 2

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Female!Reader

Word Count. 3.4k

Warnings: swearing, some fluff

A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to get part 2 out. I got super busy and then I didn’t have the motivation to write. Now that I’m writing again, hopefully I can finish this little series soon. Send me an ask if you want to be on the tag list. I hope y’all enjoy!

One of the best things about Joe is that he’s a good listener. That’s part of the reason you always went to him with your problems. You knew that he would sit quietly and wait for you to finish talking before putting his two cents in. That is also part of the reason the two of you had been best friends for so long. Although Joe was a huge dork and would always go out of his way to do something funny or stupid, he knew when to tone it down and be serious. You could tell that when he took in your appearance, his whole demeanor shifted, telling you that he was being serious. You rarely heard his serious voice, so you were a bit surprised when you heard him ask, “Y/n, what happened?” You knew you had to tell him. He was your best friend and you had gone to him after all your other breakup. Something was different this time though. You had never gone through a breakup this rough, let alone been cheated on before. You didn’t really know where to start. You took in a shaky breath as Joe let go of your arm and sat back on his bed, ready to listen. “Today was one of the worst days of my life, Joe.” You stopped, looking at the floor, trying to find the words to say. You were caught off guard when Joe, who usually didn’t talk until you were finished, said in a quiet voice, “Is it because of our argument earlier?” You quickly turned your head towards him, finding his eyes were filled with worry and a hint of sadness. You grabbed his hand, “No, not at all. That was just a stupid argument. I honestly forgot about it, but that’s not why.” Joe nodded, seeming relieved. “I’m sorry that we did argue, Joey.” He gave you a smile at the nickname, which had stuck since you were kids. “I’m sorry too, Y/n.” You gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand before letting go and placing your hand back in your lap. “So, why was today one of the worst days of your life?”

He looked at you intently, waiting for you to tell all. You took another deep breath, thinking it would be best to start from the beginning. “After I got to the college, I started to take my stuff up to my room. When I got to my room, I heard Chris inside, which didn’t make sense because he said he wouldn’t be there until later. That’s when I heard it.” You stopped again, tears welling up in your eyes. You looked down at your lap, trying to will the tears away. “Heard what?” Joe asked, trying to keep you talking. After a moment’s hesitation, you looked up and met Joe’s eyes, “A woman’s voice.” His eyes widened and you looked away again. “I couldn’t believe it. I took my stuff and ran back down to my car. I sat in the parking lot crying for I don’t know how long. I was going to leave and come back home, but I got a text from him saying that he would be there soon. I got so angry, so I went back to the dorm room and confronted him. We yelled and argued. He said that he only wanted to go to the school because of the other girl. He said...some things and I slapped him. I told him to stay away from me and I left. Before I came back here, I dropped my classes so I didn’t have to go to school with him.” You looked up at Joe, finally finished with your rant. You weren’t met with the usual sad, concerned look you got whenever you got broken up with. Instead, he was angry. He got up and began pacing.

After a moment, Joe said, “I fucking hate that guy. If I ever see him again, I’ll beat the shit out of him.” You didn’t say anything, just shifted so you were hugging your knees to your chest. “I’m glad you slapped him. What did he say that made you do it?” You looked up at Joe, realized that he had stopped pacing. You lowered your gaze and said, quietly “He called you a worthless piece of shit, so I slapped him.” You felt Joe sit back next to you and put his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. You melted into the embrace, finally feeling yourself relax a little. “You really slapped your cheating ex-boyfriend because he was talking shit about me? Don’t you think there were at least a few better reasons?” He joked, trying to lighten the mood. It got a small laugh out of you. “Probably, but I didn’t like him talking about you that way.” 

The two of you sat there, you in Joe’s arms. You kept repeating a part of the argument over and over in your head. “He said he started cheating because he thought I was spending too much time with you.” you whispered, not really sure if you had actually said it out loud. Joe leaned back, “Are you fucking kidding me? Didn’t he know that I’m your best friend?” You shrugged, “I tried to explain that to him, but I don’t think he was listening.” There was another silence, but one that was comfortable. You never had comfortable silences with Chris. It always felt like a void that needed to be filled. It wasn’t like that with Joe. You could sit in silence with Joe for hours and not feel an ounce of awkwardness. That’s was being around Joe was: comfortable. Eventually, Joe said, “I, for one, am glad he’s finally out of your life. He was a dick.” You nodded, “I’m glad he’s gone, too. It’s just weird, you know? I was with him for two years and now he’s just gone.” “Yeah, but he deserves to be gone because he made you waste two years on a fucker like him.” Joe said, earning a laugh from you. You reached up, covering your mouth while you yawned. “Why don’t we get you something more comfortable to wear and we can try to sleep, yeah?” You nodded, it suddenly becoming hard to keep your eyes open. Joe got up and walked over to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. “Here, these are kind of small on me, so they’ll hopefully fit you.” You grabbed the clothes and headed into the bathroom. Once you had changed, you washed your face and brushed your teeth. When you looked at your reflection, you still had puffy eyes, but you did look better. When you went back into Joe’s room, he was already in his bed. He patted the bed and you crawled in next to him. He rolled over slightly, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into him so your head was on his chest. His fingers began rubbing shapes onto your shoulder. This wasn’t a new experience for you and Joe, but something felt different about it. You snuggled closer to him, feeling yourself drift off, still not able to put a finger on what was different about the closeness with Joe.

When you opened your eyes the next morning, it took a second to remember where you were. It wasn’t the usual sight of your bedroom or Chris’. It was somehow more comforting knowing that it was Joe’s room. Glancing next to you, you frowned at the empty space beside you. You looked at the clock, seeing that it was 6 o’clock in the morning. You let out a groan, wondering why you were up so early. As you got out of Joe’s bed, you saw a note on his dresser across from you. You picked it up and read through it quickly, smiling as you reached the end:

I went for a run and to run some errands. I would have woke you up, but I figured you needed some sleep. There’s coffee ready for you in the kitchen. Love, Joe.

He had drawn a heart with a smiley face on the bottom of the note under his name. You put the note back down and made your way to the kitchen. The smell of coffee soon greeted you and you all but ran the rest of the way to the kitchen. After making a cup with just the right amount of creamer (Joe always made fun of how meticulous you were with how you liked your coffee), you sat down on the living room couch. You sipped your coffee, letting out a happy hum at the taste as you looked out of the window into the backyard. You smiled to yourself, remembering how many memories were made there. You and Joe chasing each other around dressed as cowboys or robots or robot cowboys. You and Joe laying on the grass, stargazing and seeing who could name the most constellations. You and Joe sitting on the old, rusted swing set as you told him about you deciding to go to college with Chris. You felt yourself frown at that memory, shaking your head to get it out of your mind. You stared out into the backyard for a few minutes, letting yourself get lost in your memories. Suddenly, your eyes went wide. You put your coffee down and scrambled off the couch to try and find your coat. You reached into the pocket and pulled out the letter. Skimming through it, you found the part you were looking for. “The time capsule is buried in Joe’s backyard” you said, smiling. You rushed back to Joe’s room and changed back into your clothes. You ran outside, to the small shed in the corner of the yard. Inside, you grabbed a bucket and a small shovel. Turning around, your eyes locked on the corner of the flower bed. You put the bucket down beside you and kneeled down. “I’m glad his parents won’t be home for a couple of days.” you said as you started to dig. 

It didn’t take much digging for you to hit something. “Thankfully we didn’t bury this too deep,” you said to yourself as you finished digging. Once you were finished, you looked down at that you had unearthed. You let out a laugh at the large, rectangular box that sat in front of you. You put it to the side and quickly filled in the hole you had just made. Standing up and wiping your hands on the back of your jeans, you let out another chuckle. “Man, I’m glad Joe’s mom didn’t have any flowers there.” You picked up the box and took it inside. Not wanting to get anything dirty, you got an old towel from the hall closet and put it on the dining room table. You set the box down carefully, as if it would break any second. You glanced down at yourself and saw that your jeans and your hands were covered with dirt. You groaned and walked back to Joe’s room, picked up the clothes he had let you borrow, and headed for the bathroom for a quick shower. It didn’t take you long to scrub all the dirt off and get clean. All you could think about was the box in the dining room, so you went faster than you usually did in the shower. You were done in what seemed like record time. You dried yourself off and threw on Joe’s clothes. You practically ran out of the bathroom, you hair still dripping slightly, making the collar of your shirt wet. You looked around, expecting Joe to be home by now. You smiled to yourself, knowing that if he was home, he would have already had the box open by now. You sat down at the dining table, staring at the box. You wanted nothing more than to know, to remember, what you and Joe had put inside, but for some reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to open it. You kept looking at the box, like you were waiting for it to open itself. After what seemed like forever, you stood up and made your way back to the living room. You made a face as you noticed that your coffee was now cold. You sat on the couch and decided to wait. “We made the time capsule together, it’s only right that we open it together,” you whispered. 

You checked the time and realized that Joe had been gone for 6 hours. You brought your knees up to your chest, wondering where he was. Before you had even finished the thought, you heard keys in the front door. You jumped off the couch and made your way to the door, getting there as soon as it opened. Joe’s eyes met yours instantly, his mouth turning upward in a grin. He came towards you, pulling you into a tight hug. “Sorry I was gone so long. How are you feeling?” You turned your head so your words wouldn’t be muffled by his chest, “I’m feeling better than I was yesterday. Where were you today?” He pulled away from the hug and motioned down towards the floor. There, on either sides of his legs, were bags that you hadn’t noticed he put down. “I know that I’m your go to guy for breakups, but I figured this one needed some extra stuff, so I got everything,” You knelt down and looked inside the bags. There was your favorite kind of ice cream, an entire bag full of Disney movies, a super fluffy blanket, a new pair of pajamas, and hot chocolate mix. You looked up at Joe who had a look in his eyes like he hoped he hadn’t overdone it. You stood up and pulled him into another hug. “Thank you. What would I ever do without you?” Joe laughed, “Not be able to survive, that’s for sure.” This made you laugh as you pulled away from the hug and picked up some of the bags. Joe was already making his way towards the kitchen with the ice cream when he stopped dead in his tracks. You were following so close behind him that you almost ran into him. “What’s the matter?” you said, peaking around his arm to see what made him stop. Your eyes locked onto the box on the table. “Y/n, what the hell is that?” You put your bags down on the couch as Joe continued to the kitchen and put the ice cream away. You took a deep breath, figuring you should tell him everything that lead to a box covered in dirt being on his dining table. 

“Yesterday, when I got home, I had a letter. When I opened it, it was from me and you,” you pulled the letter out of your pocket and held it up, “It was from us when we were kids. I read it and at the end it talked about…” Before you could finish your sentence, Joe did it for you. “Our time capsule,” You nodded, walking over to the box and sitting down in front of it once more. Joe looked out into his backyard, then suddenly turned towards you “Wait, so you dug up my mom’s flower bed?” “Yeah, but there were no flowers and I filled in the hole when I was done.” Joe let out an over dramatic sigh of relief, “Good. She would have killed us if you wouldn’t have filled it in.” You let out a laugh, “No, she would have killed you. She thinks I can do no wrong, remember?” Joe nodded and laughed along with you. He made his way over to you and sat down at the table across from you. “So, did you open it?” You shook your head. “I was going to, but I thought it would only be fair if we opened it together.” Joe smiled and reached out to wipe the dirt off the lid of the box. You both laughed when you saw, in the handwriting of your younger selves, the box said, “Y/n and Joe’s Time Capsule. For Our Eyes Only!” Joe started to take off the lid, then stopped and looked at you. “You ready?” You grinned, “Hell yeah I am.” 

Once the lid was taken off, you wasted no time diving into the contents. It was mostly filled with expired food, stuffed animals, some dinosaur toys, drawings, and a few letters. After being reacquainted with your favorite childhood stuffed unicorn and Joe making fun of his own drawing skills, something caught your eye. You reached into the bottom of the box and grabbed two letters. One was addressed to Joe from younger Joe, and the other addressed to you from younger you. You handed Joe his letter, and he silently took it. You realized this was a private moment for the both of you, so you shifted in your seat so you were facing away from Joe. You opened the letter and began to read. 

Dear Future Y/n,

I’m so happy that you found the time capsule! I hope the letter I mailed to you got there okay. Joe and I decided to write a letter to our older selves to give advice or something. I really hope you did good in school and got into a good college. I hope that you’re really pretty and have lots and lots of friends.

This made you chuckle a bit. You could picture your 8 year old self imagining what she would look like at 18. Your expression turned sad when you thought about how she would never imagine getting cheated on. How you had never imagined getting cheated on. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes. You quickly wiped them away, not wanting Joe to see. Your eyes caught the last two sentences of your letter.

And I hope that you and Joe are still best friends!

P.S. If you ever get a boyfriend, I hope it’s Joe because he’s nice and funny and kind of cute and he’s just the best.

You read this over and over again, your brain taking a minute to process what you had just read. Your 8 year old self had thought that Joe would be the best boyfriend for you. Your mind started to play back all the times Joe had comforted you after a breakup, how he had always been there for you. You remembered all the times he had made you laugh when you were sad and all the little things he had done for you. You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding when you remember all that Joe had done for you after this breakup. How he had gone out of his way to do everything he could to make you happy. You set your letter down on the table and stood up. You noticed that Joe wasn’t sitting across from you anymore, but his letter was on the table. Your eyes widened as you read the last lines of his letter to himself.

I hope that when you’re old enough to have your first kiss that it’s with Y/n. And that she becomes your girlfriend one day. You’re best friends with her so it makes perfect sense.

Part of you wanted to laugh at how silly little kids were when it came to thinking of being in a relationship. You couldn’t bring yourself to laugh because you knew that younger Joe was right. Joe was the perfect person for you, and it did make perfect sense because you were best friends. You mentally yelled at yourself for being stupid and taking so long to notice it. Before you could look around to see where Joe was, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned and your eyes met his. “I read your letter and I’m guessing you read mine too..” You nodded, unable to speak because for the first time, you really looked at the man in front of you and realized that he was the one. “Then, I’m really hoping you don’t mind if I do this.” Before you could question him, his arm wound around your waist, pulling you closer to him, as his lips met yours. 

[mara-tevith-solo]

Real Funny - part 2

Something I’ve been slow cooking for a few years, a little all over the place. Some plot pieces aren’t mine, just something I played with.

Trigger Warning; Contains swearing, violence, mentions of nudity

I grinned cheekily before we all left. When we got back, the war was minutes from starting up again. When we finally got the Separatists off of the planet, we were allowed to rejoin the rest of the fleet and I was allowed to walk around in something other than armor. "Isn't that against regs?" That all too welcomed voice practically purred as they finally made their presence known. 

I sat up from the crate I was laying on, smiling broadly "General Kenobi allows me a few freedoms." I retorted, looking up at Wolffe. His expression was particularly warm that evening. 

Without any warning, the particularly sarcastic clone pounced, collecting me into his arms and capturing my lips with his as though they were prisoners of war "Do you have any idea how hard it is to be so close to you and act like you're just another soldier?" He growled against my lips in our secluded little spot.

"I have an idea." I purred in response, smiling coyly "So, your place or mine, Commander?" I asked with a low, seductive tone as I looked up at him through my lashes. We both already knew the answer; as a Commander, he had his own quarters. I still shared a bunk bed with Waxer in the main sleeping area for visiting legions. He left our little spot first, and I followed a few minutes after, taking a longer way around to get to his quarters. As soon as the door closed behind me, he lips were on mine again, his hands holding me against his body tightly. We helped each other out of our clothes and laid in his bed, more interested in each other's company, than sex.

As usual, I woke up before everyone else and was out of the room and hid in the mess, sipping caf until everyone else was moderately awake "Missed ya last night." Hardcase yawned, plonking his tray down before joining it.

"Couldn't sleep." I gave him a tight lipped smile before turning back to my caf. I hated lying to my friends and brothers. But if it leaked that Wolffe and I were... it would end very badly for everyone. He gave me an understanding pat on the shoulder, thinking that my nightmares were acting up again. I mentally beat the crap out of myself for keeping a most trusted vod in the dark.

"Anyone up for Nega-ball?" Cody asked, Wolffe and Rex on either side of him. Three quarters of those in the mess stood up and made to follow the three commanding officers, Hardcase included as he tried to pull me up. When that didn't work, he threw me over his shoulder and made his way after the group.

"Caught a live one, didn't ya?" Fives laughed, slapping my thigh as Hardcase fell into step beside him.

My squeak caught the attention of a certain, maybe slightly overprotective, Commander "What are you doing to Sergeant Val?" Wolffe scowled, coming up from behind the two. He was very much not pleased with how the two were conducting themselves with me.

Hardcase couldn't put me down fast enough as he whirled around, blushing and saluting hurriedly "S-sorry sir, we were only fooling around." His scowl deepened into a glare and he had to put his hands behind his back because, bet you ten credits, he was clenching them into fists.

"It's alright Commander, they're on my 'top three most trusted' list. They didn't mean anything besides camaraderie." I stepped up, approaching him to show that I really was alright while essentially telling him that they were my best friends, topped only by him. I felt the two staring at me, wide eyed, as the Commander deflated a fraction and his expression softened. 

"Get to the gym." Was his parting order before he moved around us and down the abandoned hallway. 

"Dude!" Hardcase exclaimed when the commander had turned the corner, the three of us following at a slower pace.

"How did you talk him out of handing us our asses?" Fives finished, staring at me as though I had grown a third head.

"The Commander and I are friends. He and Master Plo were the first ones to find me and bring me to the Temple. Why do you think I have a grey Loth-wolf on my shoulder?" I tapped my shoulder piece to reinforce my point as they started freaking out, having never made the connection.

"So you're an honorary Wolfpack member?" Fives gushed as Hardcase practically jumped on my back and made me give him a piggyback ride. Bastard. 

"I think the more appropriate answer is that I was adopted by Master Plo as one of his many children." I groaned, my knees shaking with every step. I dropped him unceremoniously with the other troopers as Cody and Wolffe were picking teams. 

"Val, get over here!" Cody called, waving me over as I tried to retreat to a safe spot to sit.

"Nah, I think I'll sit out. Both Kix and Wark look like they'll fill me full of needles if I joined in." I laughed, warily watching the two glaring medics who had had to patch me up last time we had all played Nega-ball. 

He glanced at them, equally as wary "Sounds like a good plan." He nodded, clearing his throat as they resumed picking. "So what's the wager?" Cody asked, hands on his hips as he faced Wolffe and his team.

"Winning Commander gets Val to tag along next mission." Alright, so I was a bit of a floater. Sue me.

"No can do sadly, Skywalker already reserved her for the 501st's next mission." Cody frowned. Wolffe scowled and couldn't resist looking at me from the corner of his eye. "How about this, next time we get leave, winning team gets a day with her." Oh if Cody only knew. They shook on it as all of them stripped off their torso armor and Wolffe's team took off their blacks shirts. I blushed at the sight of Wolffe's barrel chested glory, several small white scars dotting his waist and arms. He knew I blushed at the sight of him, he puffed up almost as soon as I did. The game was certainly as hairy and brutal as usual. Sometimes it was like the clones just kind of disregarded sport safety rules.

Of course, we never went back to Coruscant, instead, moving cruisers so that we could have a better spread in our attack of Umbara. Of course, the Umbarans changed over to the Seppies after their Senator had mysteriously been assassinated.... most likely by the Separatists... but that's just my opinion. The Republic was outmatched, out classed, and out teched, but by Odin, we were going to fight the good fight. It wasn't until the surface of the dark planet that I realized just how much my warnings had gone over the heads of the Council. Krell swooped in and took over command of the 501st, saying that the Chancellor needed Skywalker for some benign reason. 

First thing I did as soon as I saw Krell exit his gunship was hide behind Fives and have a panic attack, bucket removed as I pressed my forehead against his back, mumbling numbers in as many languages I knew, as high as I could go and back. He just stood there, one hand squeezing the one that he had pried from trying to scratch at the chinks in my armor. "Stand in attention, in my presence trooper!" Krell barked in my general direction. Fives stiffened as I quickly put my bucket back on and stepped out from behind him.

"S-sorry sir." I stuttered, still trying to regain total control over myself. I knew exactly what that motherfucker was going to do, and my attempt to stop it, had been brushed aside. 

"What's your number, Trooper." His eyes narrowed as his lower set of arms folded behind his back and his upper set crossed over his chest. He moved so that he was behind me, ignoring the others as they tried to close ranks around me as subtly as possible. 

"Sergeant Val, sir." I couldn't let him know that he bothered me, that he was getting so far under my skin that I was shaking. My head was full of nothing but white noise.

"Are you such a deformed clone, that not only your height and voice are wrong? I asked for your number, Clone." He snarled, stepping closer. I was filled with sudden, blinding rage as he went on a racist rant "You can't even put your armor on correctly!" He spat. 

My resolve rocketed out the window at that last comment as I whirled around, taking off my helmet and getting closer to the vulgar behemoth "I am a woman, General! Are you satisfied?" I snapped, feeling Fives frantically hook onto my belt and attempt to pull me back closer to himself and Rex. But I was planted, I would not back down, willingly or not. "My name is Sergeant Valeri MacCloud, I am from a planet called Earth and I am twenty six years old. I asked, are you satisfied, sir?" I barked, using my best drill sergeant voice as I glared up at the rogue Jedi, daring him to court marshal me, or worse, kill me. 

[our-smooty]

I’m Not Your Baby Girl

Fandom: Gorillaz

Rating: Teen

Relationships: None

Tags: Family, angst, noodle is a grownup, drinking

Summary: Let's get one thing straight, Noodle wasn’t a kid anymore. As much as people liked to treat her as such, with her being the baby of the band, she hadn’t been a kid for a long, long time. Maybe not since El Manana, even.

Let's get one thing straight, Noodle wasn’t a kid anymore. As much as people liked to treat her as such, with her being the baby of the band, she hadn’t been a kid for a long, long time. Maybe not since El Manana, even.

Say what you want about Murdoc, but at least he treated her like an adult now. He didn’t try to lecture her--probably because he was too drunk to--or tell her right from wrong--probably because he didn’t care--like Russel did. And he didn’t try to give her sage advice on things he knew nothing about like 2D did unless he was really, really high. Because of that, Noodle found herself spending more time around him than the others now that they were all back together and Ace was gone.

It was one of those days when they had nothing to practise and nothing else going on and everyone was stagnant. Noodle was laying on the sofa with her phone out, idly tapping at her screen. She didn’t know where the rest of the band was, but she could make a few guesses. It was still early, too early for the likes of 2D and Murdoc, and Russel was most likely out. The drummer tended to spend his mornings wandering around town, getting a coffee, and generally avoiding the snarkiness that was the rest of the band in the morning. Noodle would usually do the same, keeping to her bedroom, but her room was so hot in the summer she’d relocated to the living room out of necessity.

She heard the sound of someone bumbling about on the second floor and was surprised to see Murdoc, not 2D, ambling down the stairs. Noodle watched as he took breaks every few steps, an obvious sign of his terrible hangover. When he got to the bottom floor he made a quick stop in the kitchen for a glass of something strong, then came back through into the living room and folded himself into a chair.

Good morning,” Noodle greeted with a raised eyebrow. “I thought you were supposed to be cutting back?”

Murdoc glanced to her, then back to his drink. “It’s watered down, get off my arse.” Noodle rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything else. They sat in silence for a long while, the only sound coming from the ice in Murdoc’s glass and the app on Noodle’s phone. Eventually, Noodle got bored of her game and tossed the phone off into the couch cushions before leaning back with a sigh.

"What crawled up your arse and died?” Murdoc asked, his voice rough with sleep and alcohol. Noodle looked over at him and shrugged half-heartedly with a small pout.

“Last night,” she started, “ Russel was giving me the whole ‘responsibility’ lecture when I wanted to go out to the club. 2D said he’d go with me but you know he started that whole ‘healthy lifestyle’ thing last week and now he refuses to go anywhere that might ‘pollute him’.” She was no stranger to her families idiosyncracies, but as she got older they began to wear on her more and more. “I’m 28! I can go out to the club on my own without a chaperone.”

Murdoc didn’t reply and Noodle had to look over at him to make sure he wasn’t asleep. Instead, she caught him looking right at her, a pensive expression on his face that was unfamiliar to her.

“What?”

He shrugged. “Nothin’. Jus’ think you’re being a bit of a brat right now, to be totally honest.” Noodle felt her blood boil. Murdoc thought she was being a brat? Last week he’d thrown an honest-to-God tantrum over 2D losing his favourite lighter. Who did he think he was?

“That’s rich, coming from you, Murdoc,” she snapped, sitting up and getting ready to leave the room. She didn’t need this, she thought Murdoc saw her as an adult, unlike the others.

“I’m jus’ saying, love. No need to get your knickers in a twist,” he answered, his gaze still oddly calm despite Noodle’s simmering anger. “And I think I’d know best, takes one to know one and all that.”

His oddly calm demeanour put a damper on her temper, and she sat back again. “But I’m 28!”

Murdoc sipped the last of his drink then set the glass aside. “And you’re still our little girl. Trust me Noodle, D Russ and I know how bad the world can be and we jus’ wanna keep you safe.”

“Fuck that!” Murdoc’s eyes went wide as Noodle exploded. “I’ve been through Hell, I’ve been shot at, you replaced me with that bucket of bolts! This is bullshit!” She kept going, listing all the horrible things that had happened to her, one after the other.

Murdoc let her run herself down, not interrupting her ranting even once. Instead, he sat and watched as she slowly wound down, all the anger and sadness leaving her body as she put those hurts into words. When Noodle finally stopped to take a breath, scrubbing a hand over her face, he sighed.

“You ever think that’s why those idiots are overprotective?” Murdoc asked, looking right at her. He was surprisingly sober. “You’re the heart of Gorillaz, Noods, we couldn’t do this without you.”

She scoffed, suddenly uncomfortable with how real he was being. “You managed for Plastic Beach."

Murdoc laughed darkly, spinning his ice around in his glass. “Would you really call that managing? It’s a good album, but what about the rest of that mess?”

He had a good point, she hated to admit it. After El Manana the band had gone to complete shit. 2D still had nightmares, and so did she.

“Fine. But I’m still an adult and they don’t treat me like it! You treat me like one, so why can’t they?” She glared at him, daring him to keep going. Noodle knew she was in the right here and she’d just been looking for someone to back her up.

“I’ve always treated you jus’ like I treat anyone else, Noodle, and that’s not always a good thing.” Murdoc stared straight at her like he was trying to show her he was being deadly serious. “I got you nearly killed. I let you play in bars when you were barely 10. I nearly got you killed again by El Mierda.”

Noodle deflated slightly and looked away, unable to meet his honest stare any longer. “Noodle, I’m fun Uncle Murdy who should never be trusted to watch the kids. 2D’s not much better but his heart’s in the right place. And Russel adores you.”

“You’ve always been strong-willed and pig-headed, jus’ like Uncle Murdoc. But take it from my kiddo, hold on to the people who care about you.”

She still felt angry at being denied her adulthood, but she also felt like Murdoc was right. Noodle might be an assassin and a super soldier, as well as an adult, but were Russel and 2D really being that unreasonable? They only acted that way because they loved her, and she didn’t want to think about what that meant in terms of Murdoc’s feelings about her.

“You’re right, at least a bit. I still think they need to back off…”

“Then ask them too, or jus’ do whatever you want. You’re your own girl, go crazy,” Murdoc said as he got up and moved back into the kitchen--probably for another drink. Noodle followed him this time, trailing behind just like she’d done when she first arrived at Kong.

“You never try to tell me what to do… why?” she finally asked as Murdoc finished pouring his drink. This one was definitely not watered down and she made a mental note to tell the others.

Murdoc had been edging closer and closer to the doorway, obviously having filled his quota if “real talks” for the day. He didn’t make it though, and he knew Noodle wouldn’t let it drop, so he paused.

“Because all of my advice is shit, kid. You shouldn’t be doin’ anything I do or listenin’ to anythin’ I say. But Russel and 2D are good people, much better than I am. You should hear them out from time to time.” He then turned around again and walked out the door before she could say anything. What did she want to say? Thanks? Fuck off?

Instead, she took a seat at the kitchen table, head in her hands. She was still frustrated and angry but her talk with Murdoc had left her kind of… sad? She knew Murdoc cared in his own way, and that their relationship was beyond damaged. It showed in their every interaction but especially this morning. Murdoc was supposed to be the fun one, why had he left her feeling like she was in the wrong the whole time?

Noodle stayed at the table for a while, eventually getting up to put the kettle on, then to get some toast. Russel wandered into the kitchen sometime after she’d just finished her meagre breakfast, already dressed for the day. He greeted her and she nodded back, still a little testy from their spat last night. But now instead of wanting to rekindle the argument, she felt the need to apologize.

“Russel?” The drummer looked up from his coffee and newspaper at her. Noodle felt a sliver of shame run through her.

“I’m… sorry, for getting upset last night,” she said, taking care not to rush any of her words. “I was… being childish.”

Russel looked surprised, almost like he hadn’t expected her to apologize at all. Maybe she was more like Murdoc than she thought. “Oh, s’alright baby-girl. I was probably bein’ a little paranoid anyway.”

She had the urge to hug him, so she did, getting up and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “You were right, I should be more careful. But I am an adult too now, Russel,” she said quietly, returning to her seat.

Russel nodded. “You’re right, you’re right. I’ll try to back off a little bit, I know you can take care of yourself.” She smiled and nodded again, unsurprised that Russel accepted her apology so easily. The drummer was a simple man, it didn’t take jumping through hoops to keep their relationship solid. “We just can’t lose you again, OK?”

“I understand Russ. I can't lose you guys either. I’m gonna apologize to 2D too when he gets up too.”

“Well you might have to wait a while, he was up all night again fiddling with his keyboards,” Russel warned. 2D had been doing stuff like that a lot recently, staying out late, changing his diet on the daily, buying entire new wardrobes every few weeks. She should have taken that into account when she was demanding to go out to the club last night. Just because she could be in that atmosphere and not over-indulge, didn’t mean that 2D could do that same.

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it, you know how he gets with people.” Noodle did know, had seen it happen a million times with Murdoc and the singer. She didn’t want to continue the legacy or yelling at their most fragile bandmate.

“Maybe we could have a game night or something tonight?” she asked, desperate to make things right. Russel looked up and smiled the same smile she remembered from her childhood.

“Sounds good, we can run out for snacks later.” Noodle nodded enthusiastically and got up with a big stretch.

“I’m going to go see if 2D is awake,” she said. Russel waved a hand and went back to his paper, pausing when he saw she was still there. “And… say thanks to Murdoc for me, if you see him?”

Russel looked confused, probably because in all there past together, Murdoc had seldom done anything that deserved thanking. Still, he agreed with a shrug, not asking questions.

“Sure, I’ll pass the message along.” Noodle thanked him and left the kitchen, making her way up the creaky stairs as quietly as possible. If the singer was still sleeping, she didn’t want to wake him up. As she rounded the corner she saw 2D’s room, door wide open with soft music emanating from the doorway. Not asleep then.

“Hey D,” she said, standing at the threshold. “I didn’t think you’d be awake.”

2D was on his bed, one of his keyboards laid out in front of him covered in sheet music and notes. He looked up when she spoke, his black eyes surrounded by equally dark circles. Noodle took his hesitant smile as permission to enter his room, so she sat on the edge of the bed away from the papers.

“Good morning Noodle,” 2D greeted in his usual, twangy accent. He sounded tired but cheerful. She wondered if he’d slept at all.

“Good morning 2D, what are you working on?” He beamed and shuffled all the papers together before placing them to the side and getting ready at the keyboard. The melody he produced was jaunty and bright. He didn’t seem to have any lyrics to it, and the song was over quite quickly but it left her enchanted. “That was lovely!”

“Thanks,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I’ve been workin’ on it a lot recently…”

There was a mild tension in the air. Noodle knew it was time. “I’m sorry for shouting last night, I was being a brat. I had a talk with Murdoc and--” 2D looked skeptical. “No, really, he gave me some very good advice. I understand why you and Russel are so protective of me. I just want to be able to live my life the way I want.”

Stu seemed to stop completely for a few seconds as he processed her apology. “I forgive you love. And I’ll try not to nag anymore. But advice from Murdoc? That’s not right.”

Noodle laughed lightly. “No, not usually. This morning was quite strange.” 2D nodded like he was agreeing with her.

“Yeah, yeah it was.” He scratched the back of his head while yawning. Noodle noticed his posture drooping and decided she’d kept him long enough.

“You should get some sleep,” she said quietly, carefully moving his keyboard to the floor and the sheet music to the desk. “I will wake you later for lunch.”

2D yawned, watching her move around his room. “Thank Noods, I dunno what I’d do without you.”

Noodle stopped for a second, remembering that Russel and Murdoc had basically said the same thing. She hadn’t realized they felt that way because she’d been too angry, too hurt after all the years to notice. Had there been other things she was missing? That was something Noodle didn’t want to think about.

2D tucked himself between the sheets and lay back, giving her a smile. “G’nigh’ Noodle. Or Good morning.”

“Good night, 2D. Sleep well.” She left and shut the door behind her. Well, that had gone well too. It almost felt good to have apologized and finally figured out what their deal was. Noodle went back down the stairs to the living room where her phone was still laying on the sofa. Russel must have still been in the kitchen, and Murdoc was god-knows-where, so she laid back in her spot and reopened her game. Hopefully, Russel would be ready to go to the store soon and they could go shopping. A pretty good plan, she thought, especially after yesterday.

[looney-joonie]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @bts-blackpink-bitch about 10 years ago (1 week) and I am finally ready to answer them lol

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Daydreaming about fic possibilities and what I could do with my life if I had the ability to create art.

2. What makes your day better?

Two things: my fiance and laughing.

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

My cat laid on top of me and purred really loud!

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

One that I have yet to put into writing.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

It depends. I’m pretty good at it in general, but each situation is unique and anyone who takes my advice knows that I have a disclaimer stating that I am not responsible for anything that happens if my advice is applied...just as a precaution lol

6. Do you have any mental illness?

No clue.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yes and it’s terrifying!! I mean, one time I was able to make my head shake, but my fiance ignored my movement because I move in my sleep...so he thought I was asleep...

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I don’t really have just one

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yes

10. What’s your dream date?

My dream date is my fiance. HAHA! (It’s true..) 😂

But no, my dream date is being picked up at hotel in a big city <me wearing a very nice dress, my date wearing a tux or suit> and us going out for a ‘night on the town’. We would dine at a 5-star restaurant and then walk around downtown until we came to a romantic place. My date would then ask me to dance even there’s no music because ‘the music is in our hearts'. And then he would take me back to my room and leave me at the door with a searing kiss.

*sigh* I love my fiance, but he would ruin my dream date because he can’t keep a beat to save his life. I’m sure he’d be able to make up for it somehow 😂

11. What do others notice about you?

They tend to notice I have a huge ass. They never really mention anything else that they notice...IF they notice anything else.

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

UM - ALL OF THEM?? I mean, I have so many that it’s hard to name them. Just ask the people around me and they’ll make long lists without saying the same thing as the other. #iannoyeveryone

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No, but that’s a good thing.

14. How many exes do you have?

Five...and yet, they never took me on a date. #losers😒

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

My largest one has over 600 songs on it...so many genres, so little time.

16. What instruments can you play?

I played the clarinet when I was in high school and the piano before that.

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

Blurry shit because my phone screen gets turned on and then I’m too lazy to delete the pictures. 😬

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

I’m not sure. I’ve always loved traveling, but have never been super passionate about just one place?

19. What is your zodiac?

Gemini

20. Do you relate to it?

Yup. I’m #twinning everyday.

21. What is happiness to you?

Happiness to me is being able to toss away all of my negative thoughts, just for a moment, and focus on something beautiful. It could be the feel of a cool breeze on a warm day. The fluffy white clouds against a light blue sky or speaking the compliments I think instead of just keeping them so myself. 

Happiness is something you continuously work towards...and sometimes you have to accept that being content in the moment is the best you’ll get for now. I purposely stop to ‘smell the roses’ and enjoy the little things because everything I know and love is in a balanced state. I want to enjoy the moments I have now so that, when things have shifted and there’s the sense of unbalance, I can look back and draw on those moments. Those little moments are so important to be able to recall so that you can continue to work towards happiness in times of sadness. (Sorry for the mini...rant?)

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Yes. I won’t get too detailed, but back in February I went on emergency hiatus because my dad has CIDP (emergency hiatus post here). He hasn’t had a treatment since February, so his ability to walk and do other things has gradually become much worse. It’s not something that many people have to live with for a long time...which is why I had my happiness rant above. Plus I’ve been trying to get a better job since I graduated from college in December 2018, but practically nobody is hiring. So that’s great.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

There really is no ‘worst decision’ for me. I am who I am today because of all the decisions I have made both good and bad. So, for me to point out my ‘worst decision’ would be to say I have regrets. Which I don’t because I don’t have time for ‘what ifs’ and regrets. I only have time for helping myself and others to better themselves.

24. What’s your favorite store?

Gift shops.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I strongly believe in keeping my political opinions to myself.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Mentally, yeah. But I’m forgetful, so it’s ever-changing.

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Yes. Comedown Machine by The Strokes. I bought it because it looked cool and I love every single song.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

I really want to have a full-time job! I also want these BTS Hanahaki Series pins by Wiblash on Instagram!!

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

People think that I cower at anyone who seems to be an authoritative figure as well as be a ‘yes-man’

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Everyone has thought I look like I’m either younger or WAY older than I actually am. Everyone also assumes I have kids. And I mean EVERYONE. 😠

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

On my nightstand to prevent an accidental fire.

32. What word do you say the most?

I say um, well, and like a lot because they make it easier to drag my sentences out when I lose my train of thought.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

It’s kind of..besides the point now that I’m getting married, but at one point I ‘dated’ a guy who was almost 10 years older than me. I DODGED A BULLET WITH THAT GUY!! With my experience, I probably wouldn’t pick someone more than 5 years older than me.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

I’ve always liked my guys to be slightly younger than me ( my fiance is about 9 months younger than me) and all my exs except the one mentioned in the above question were either the same age as me or a little younger. I wouldn’t date anyone born after 2000. Still doesn’t matter much since I’m getting married.😂

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Retail. But that’s only because I’ve been in customer service so long that I have a lot of mannerisms that I have accidentally brought over into my personal life.

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

I don’t have one.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

TL;DWR - Too Long; Don’t Wanna Research.

38. What is your current favorite song?

Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard

39. How long have you had this blog for?

01/07/2019 1:55:37 AM (thanks @memories)

40. What are you excited for?

The BTS concert on May 12th!!!! And for my ATEEZ project 'When Life Gives You Lemonade' teaser to be revealed on May 15th!!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Both. Once I’m started, I can talk for hours, but I love listening to people talk too soooooo...

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

AHGJDSAKLGHJA UHHH, WORK ON MY ATEEZ PROJECT!

43. What do you want for Christmas?

DLCs for some software that I have.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Um...College Algebra and English were my best subjects.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

About a 9.8?

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

I can see myself being an author and a mom. 😊

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

First grade when I...liked this boy so much that I would kiss his cheek at least once every time we had gym class. Then he changed schools... (I found out later that it wasn’t my fault and that he had a slight crush on me then)

48. What age do you want to get married?

23. My wedding is planned for right before my 28th birthday, so ya’ll see how well that panned out.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Author!!!

50. What do you crave right now?

MORE TIME TO WORK ON MY ATEEZ PROJECT!!!!!! Gosh...there’s just not enough time in the day..............................................😑

I’m tagging @angstchim @ughdesighhns @parkseonghwa @gothicmingi @requestfairy @mhysaunburnt @yurakwonhoseok @today-we-will-survive @supersailorjoonie once again! If ya’ll get tired of it, let me knowwwwwww......😅

[abadoodlesss]

More Than a Prisoner - Chapter Seven

Tag List: @missieluvsmurder @a-fan-fighting-for-equality @sleepy-demon @murpmurp

Read Previous Chapters Here!

Next: Chapter Eight 

Bella let her eyes flutter open. She sat up and raised her arms above her head to stretch, rubbing over the muscles that were still sore from three days prior when she help Hunk man the kitchen. She never realized how strenuous baking was.

Rolling out of the slab she called a bed, Bella grabbed her raggedy dress from the corner of her bed. Striping out of the pajamas Lance lent to her, Bella slipped the dress over her head. She buttoned up the back with her nimble fingers, pulling her wild hair out from underneath the garment and twisting it into a bun.

Then she did what she found herself doing very often, waiting around until Shiro told her what to do. Bella wasn’t complaining much, she knew things could be worse but she couldn’t help but wonder what her life even was anymore. She had dreamed of what she would do with her life once she finally escaped Lotor’s grasp, and this certainly what she dream of. Bella was taken away from her thoughts about her bleak life when there was a knock at her cell door.

She stayed silent. The door slid open and Bella walked out, receiving the tray Shiro held out for her. She noted the way her breakfasts seemed to get more extravagant with each day, how less and less green goop was incorporated into her meal. Upon her plate now was toast and scrambled eggs, no trace of green goop at all.

Bella knew that with each passing day, with each breakfast, Shiro was trying to show he was sorry. She did appreciate it, he was obviously doing it on his own as Hunk was still very much asleep. What Bella didn’t appreciate is the fact that Shiro had to show his apology through kind gestures but not through words. All she wanted was for him to say, “I’m sorry for being a huge dick the other night at the diner with the Balmerans and treating you like less than human. It was incredibly stupid, I’m incredibly stupid”. Was that too much to ask for?

Until Shiro managed to verbalize his apology, Bella would continue to give him the cold shoulder.

They walked in silence until Shiro stopped at a room.

“Things got a little intense in here yesterday.” Shiro explained revealing what Bella assumed was their training room. It was a mess.

There were clothes and gear strewn everywhere as well as miscellaneous weapons lazily ‘put away’. If that wasn’t bad enough, the whole room smelt like teenage boys and sweat. Bella was sure it would take her the rest of her life to rid the room of that scent.

Shiro must have noticed the face Bella made. “Yeah, we were training almost all day, I felt bad making the guys clean up, they were so exhausted.”

“So you make me do it instead.” Bella grumbled to herself, placing her breakfast on the ground, annoyed she wouldn’t have time to eat it while it was hot. She brushed past Shiro as she turned her attention instead to the clothes on the floor. It aggravated her that at the end of the day, she was stuck doing chores for a man who thought so little of her.  

“Bella-” He started, but Shiro didn’t know what he could say. He knew why she was mad, hell he was just as mad at himself as Bella was. Shiro felt terrible for dismissing her like that, but in the moment he panicked, he had no idea how to talk about her situation to the Balmeran’s. He thought it would just be best for her to leave. He knew at that moment it was a mistake. The second he saw the hurt on Bella’s face that night, his heart sank. They were just starting to get along and now he forced them back to square one. God, he was such an idiot.

Bella heard a sigh leave Shiro’s lips followed by his retreating footsteps. Bella grumbled to herself, ranting about who Shiro thought he was as she collected the clothes.

Bella’s fingers were cramping because of how hard she was pressing down on the rag, scrubbing the floor until it shined.

The training room was nowhere near spotless, but Bella made significant progress. She was currently crawling across the floor on her hands and knees, scrubbing the spots on the floor that needed a little extra elbow grease. She’d already been over the entire floor with a mop but there were stubborn stains littered across the floor that she was determined to get rid of.

She dunked her rag into a bucket of soapy water just as the doors slid open behind her. Bella couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling. She threw the rag down and stood up to face who she assumed was Shiro. As she turned around, she instead came face to face with Keith.

“What are you doing in here?” He asked, his voice dripping with disgust.

“Cleaning up your mess.” Bella said, returning to scrubbing the floor.

Suddenly, Bella felt a hand clasp onto her upper arm, dragging her to her feet. “Well, I need the training room.” He said, practically dragging Bella to the door. She wriggled in his grasp but couldn’t free herself. Keith took her all the way to the door, letting it slide open before he shoved her into the hallway. The doors closed behind her as she steadied her footing.

Bella couldn’t believe the audacity of that boy. There was no way in hell she was going to let that slide. She whirled around, anger filling her entire body. Just as she was about to pound on the door, a small voice called out to her.

“Bella?”

Bella turned to see Pidge and Hunk, both with concerned faces as they noticed Bella’s ticked off expression.

“Are you alright?” Hunk asked, a bit hesitant.

Bella sighed. “I’m fine. It’s just Keith, he-.” She sighed again, feeling some of her anger alleviate. “It’s nothing.” She finished, having a much more pleasant tone, throwing in a soft smile too. “What are you guys up to?”

“Everybody’s planning on having dinner together tonight.” Pidge explained. “We never really eat as a family, we’re normally too busy but we thought we’d make the time for it tonight.”

“And of course, I’m cooking.” Hunk added.

“Sounds nice.” Bella said, her stomach grumbling as she thought about Hunk’s cooking, choosing to focus on that rather than the fact she’d be eating alone in her cell tonight.

“I could always use a co-chef.” Hunk offered. Bella remembered how much fun they had while cooking for the Balmerans. It was the best day she had in the castle so far.  

“Well my schedule just cleared up.” She said, giving a final glance to the training room doors. “I’d love to help.”

The three headed to the kitchen, Hunk baking away while Pidge and Bella sat and watched, offering emotional support rather than any actual help.

The girls talked, Hunk chiming in every once in a while, but he was much more focused on the meal he was preparing. Bella had gotten to know Lance and Hunk fairly quickly, and she knew Pidge was part of their trio, but Bella always felt a disconnect with Pidge. Thankfully, they got the chance to really talk with one another, bond a little bit. She learned a lot about Pidge, firstly that Bella really liked her. She was so intelligent for her age, hell for any age. Pidge was so passionate about technology and a total master of it. She was an interesting girl and Bella was nothing but impressed. She learned how Hunk, Pidge and Lance were friends back at the Garrison. That led to countless embarrassing stories about Lance that Bella was sure she’d use for blackmail one day.

“Lance was always getting us into trouble.” Hunk said through a laugh.

“It was the easiest way for him to get attention.” Pidge added, making them all laugh.

“Looks like nothing’s changed.” Bella commented.

Perfect timing. Lance walked into the kitchen to find his three friends laughing. He, of course, wanted to be a part of the joke.

“What’s so funny, guys?” He asked.

“Oh nothing.” Bella said, trying to contain her laughter, but the second she looked at Pidge and Hunk, she burst out laughing again.

“It’s about me isn’t it?” Lance asked after his friend’s giggles died down.

“Course not, buddy.” Hunk said, clapping Lance on the back.

Lance shrugged off Hunk’s hand and took a seat beside Bella. He was only a little bitter, Lance often was (but hated being) the butt of anyone’s joke. He liked to think of himself as the funny one, no one makes fun of the funny one, that’s the funny one’s job. He didn’t mind all that much though. if having Hunk and Pidge tell embarrassing stories about himself meant that he could hear Bella’s laugh, it was worth it. Lance was almost entranced in the way her head went back slightly as she let out a cackle, letting her beautiful eyes shut and her nose wrinkle in the cutest way.

Lance could feel himself really falling for Bella, he felt something for her from the moment he saw her. Though that’s normally how it went with any girl Lance came across, but with each passing day, each conversation, he felt more and more for Bella.  

“I can’t believe you did that.” Bella said to Lance through her giggles. Lance panicked for a second, he’d been so focused on staring at her that he had no idea what the group was talking about.

“That’s not even the worst of it, Bel” Hunk said.

“Enough guys, he’s embarrassed.” Bella said, holding in her giggles as she looked at Lance. It was then that Lance realized he had a very apparent blush on his cheeks, no doubt due to staring at Bella for so long.

“Need your girlfriend to stand up for you?” Pidge teased.

“I don’t need anybody to stand up for me. I’m the most macho man.” Lance said, jumping out of his chair to flex what little muscle he had, purposely trying to distract from the fact that Pidge called Bella his girlfriend.

“Of course you are.”

“No samples!” Hunk scolded, swatting away Bella’s hand as she tried to again steal something off his tray. Hunk and Lance were manning the stove and there was an unattended tray topped with something sweet. Bella thought she’d be able to snag one without Hunk noticing, but he apparently had the vision of a hawk when it came to food.

“C’mon.” Bella cried. “Nobody’s gonna miss just one.”

“I would.” He replied, turning back to the stove.

“So unfair, you guys are gonna get to eat all this food.” Bella complained. “I’ll be lucky if Shiro gives me leftovers.” She whispered this last part more to herself, but everyone heard.

“I think you’ll survive without one.” Lance said, leaning over the counter to where Bella sat. She glared at him but he took her hand resting on the countertop and flipped it over. He quickly placed the little sweet roll in her hand, closing her fingers over it.  He held a finger to his lips, telling Bella to stay quiet. She gave him a sweet smile.  

“Alright, that’s the last of ‘em.” Hunk called, pulling the final tray out of the oven. “Can you three start taking things out to the table?”

Bella stopped for a moment. Of course, she wanted to help Hunk, but she thought of what happened the last time she was in the dining room, what Shiro said to her.

“Are you alright, Bella?” Pidge called. She and Lance were almost half way out the door before they realized Bella didn’t grab anything yet.

“Uh, yeah, just start setting the table without me.” She said, knowing that only made her friends more suspicious.

“You guys go ahead.” She heard Lance whisper. Bella’s back was to them, but she heard Pidge and Hunk’s retreating footsteps as Lance came closer to her. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Bella said, turning to face the blue paladin. “Really, I am. It’s just what Shiro said the other night.”

“You know he didn’t mean it.”

“Didn’t he?” Bella cried. “Why else would he say it?”

“Since when do you care what Shiro has to say about you?”

“I don’t, I just- I thought we were finally making process, Lance, I thought I was starting to be more than just a prisoner to him, but he proved that isn’t the case.”

Lance could see Bella was getting worked up, her face was flushing and her eyes were starting to prick with tears that she tried to hide from him. He grabbed onto her shoulders, forcing her to face him, but she never met his eyes.

“You are so much more than just some prisoner, Bella.” He said. “You are so much more, you don’t even know.”

“Am I?” Bella said, chuckling a little.

“You really are.” He practically whispered, there was no need to be loud for the two were so close together now. They stayed silent for a moment, enjoying being so close to one another.  Lance was sure that if Bella just tilted her head a little higher he’d be able to reach her lips, the lips that finally turned from a frown to a smile.

“Get a room.’ Pidge called as she and Hunk returned, grabbing another tray each.

Moment ruined. Lance and Bella separated from each other. Bella gave him a grateful look before turning her attention to a tray.

The four ignored the moment as they all headed to the dining room.

The rest of team Voltron were already seated at the table, chatting to one another.

“Eat up guys.” Hunk said, placing down his tray before fixing himself a plate. Bella froze for only a moment before Lance gave her a reassuring look.

Pidge and Lance laid their trays down and took their seats. Bella stood awkwardly, trying to find a place to leave her tray before she could make a swift escape back to the kitchen.

Just her luck, the only open space on the table was right in between Shiro and Keith’s seats. Bella took a calming breath. Just push through, Bel she thought to herself.

“Excuse me.” She said, as she placed the tray down. Though Bella was sure to get out of there as soon as humanly possible, she managed to see the look of surprise on Shiro’s face. He opened his mouth to say something but Bella was already at the other side of the table before he could utter a syllable. “Is that everything?” She asked Hunk.

“Yeah, thanks for the help today.” He said.

“No problem.” She said, patting Hunk on the shoulder before turning to leave. She supposed she’d wait in the kitchen to see what leftovers Hunk would bring in, it was only fair after all the hard work she did talking to Pidge and him all day.

A chair pushed back from the table, scraping across the floor with a screech.

“Bella, wait.” Someone called. She turned.

It was Shiro.

He stood at the table, arm outstretched to Bella. All eyes were on him. It was then, Shiro realized how intense and embarrassing his outburst was.

“Take a seat.” He said in a calmer tone, fighting the urge to look away from her glare. Her expression turned from annoyance to suspicion, slightly better but not the look he was hoping for.

After Bella didn’t answer, Shiro walked to an empty chair, pulling it out so Bella could sit. He looked at her expectantly, but Bella still seemed hesitant. “I’m really sorry for what I said to you the other day.” He said. Bella was impressed, she was sure if Shiro was going to apologize, he’d do it quietly to her and only her, not in front of the rest of his team. She could see in his eyes how sorry he was, and he was making a sincere effort. “I hope you accept my apology and join us for dinner.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” She said, sitting as Shiro pushed in her chair for her.

“Where could you be, little flower?” Lotor asked aloud to himself, staring out a window into the vastness of the galaxy. He’d asked himself this question each and every day since his Bella managed to escape. No one had any information as to her whereabouts yet. It was infuriating.

The ship she stole was found but any trace of the girl was lost. How could she have just disappeared like that?  With each passing day, Lotor worried more and more that his Bella may be gone forever

The prince’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.” He called, keeping his amber eyes fixated on the window as if he stared long enough, he'd be able to spot her.

“We’ve found her, sir, alive.”

Lotor stayed facing his window, letting the corners of his lips turn up in a smirk.

“And where might little Bella be?” His tone was nothing but malicious.

“We have reason to believe she’s been taken in by Voltron, sir.”

A deep chuckle rumbled through Lotor’s chest. He finally turned to the soldier, a wicked grin on his lips.

“How wonderful.”