#But I would have to find a new job and again change...

[penelope-potter]

How Did You Know This Feeling?~

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel/ Helluva Boss Pairing: Alastor x Fem! Owl Hybrid! Reader + (Stolas x Reader) Summary: You are very good friends with the Owl King Stolas. However, after a while he called you over for a shoulder to cry on because of his heartbreak from Blitzo. You were gone straight away to help your dear friend, but not leaving your own crush Alastor slightly jealous, so he follows you. Warnings: No one

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You sat on the couch, next to an old antic telephone. You sighed. Charlie came up with the great idea to bring a phone inside the lobby, in hope that more sinners were about to call and check in. You didn't really liked the idea of letting other filthy demons who might not take all this seriously in, but the princess of hell seemed so eager about this, so you just volunteered to be the secretary in hope to tell if there are false tongues under it. Now you regret it, because for at least the twentieths time some dickhead called, only to laugh at you for being so stupid and open up a hotel. You were more cursing and screaming into the phone than to actually take a new resident in. Charlie stood there for a while, nervously tapping with her foot and biting her nails. "I think it was a bad idea..." She said finally, after you slammed the listener back to it’s station. You took in a deep breath before turning to her, smiling thin. "No Charlie it was a good idea. But it was obvious that this were going to happen or?" She just nodded. "I just thought that would be easier to actually bring more sinners to our hotel..." She said again, a sad expression on her face. You sighed and got up. "Don't be so sad, you know I can't take that." You smiled and hugged her side. "You know, Someday someone who actually feel like redeeming will call. And I will be there to guide them to us. After I inspected them of course." She smiled with big eyes at you, wiping around her right eye to hide the tear which was slipping out. "You sure you want to continue the job? You sounded very angry a few minutes ago..." "Noo, I just got a bit emotional that's all..." You laughed and waved it off. She was right, it pissed you off in every way possible. But you didn't wanted to disappoint her, so- how bad could this job be, sitting around and arguing with some wanna-be-sinners? "Alright. Thank you (Y/N)." "Anytime."

You smiled and went back to your little cozy place. Today was a calm, quite day. You placed a notebook, a pen and your already third tea on the table in front of the sofa and watched the phone silently. It was Alastor's he brought in one day after Charlie told him so. You didn't know if it was an actual phone which was for sale anywhere or just a magic appearance of his. However, you liked it. It was red and blue with golden ornaments, and it reminded you a bit of Stolas. You saw him rarely since you met him. You also never got the chance to change numbers, so you would have to travel a mile to visit him. After a while the phone ringed again, and you jumped slightly. Great, another dumb ass. You sighed and took the receiver to your ear. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, where sinners are going to be winners in no time! How can I help you?" You said in a placed on cheery voice and rolled your eyes, ready to scream at anyone who might as well fuck you up today. "(Y/N)? Oh for hell's sake I'm so glad to hear from you!" You knew this voice. "Stolas? Is- is it you?" You sat up and your smile grew wider. "Of course! I wanted to call you so much earlier but I couldn't find a way to contact you..."

The two of you talked for hours it seemed, you, already forgetting that you're technically at work and blocked the whole line, but you just hoped that no one who actually wanted to be redeemed, was in line waiting. You didn't even realized that a certain demon appeared right behind you in the room, curious looking over at you, wondering with who you might talk so happily about. After a while he recognize the way you talked with them and his smile stiffened. Stolas. It was not as if he didn't liked you, having a friend of high royalty. It wasn't the fact that you seemed to be so light headed around him, talking with him for so long already, you shifted the receiver to your other hand, and it definitely wasn't the fact that he was a bit jealous of him. He shook his head surprised. Why does he fretting about some demon king talking with you? It drove him insane how you made him feel. You talked with him too, and you could also share long talk sessions. But it never was this exiting like it was with him. He noticed how your expression looked like, so relaxed and calm. You played with the cable string of the phone, and your leg was bouncing up and down from the couch rest. With him you always were stiffed, attentive and careful. You laughed too, but there was always something holding you back to be your whole true self. Oh how badly he wanted you to talk with him like you did with Stolas. He wanted you to swing your legs over his armchair, and title your head to your side, playing with a book of his shelf which was long forgotten or to grab his arm in excitement. He only realized how hard he grabbed his cane, as his fingers began to shake. "Oh...I'm so sorry Stolas. I didn't knew that he's feeling this...kind of way about you." His ears peeked up. You shifted your body down to place your elbow on your knee. You listened for a while until he went a few steps up to his left to see your expression. It was sad, understanding. Like you always were when someone is having a bad day. You were always the one someone could go to when they have a problem. You were an angel, and god knows why you end up here.

You started to play with the cable string again, but this time more stiffened. "Please don't cry. I-I would love to help you somehow...yes I know, I know..." He came closer until he was standing a few feet behind the couch. "Okay you know what? I will talk to my boss Charlie if I can take two days off and come to your place." And instant urge of madness flowed inside him and his smile twitched at the edges. You were about to visit him? All alone among the sinners? It was not like he didn't trusted you in your ability to help yourself, but it made him uncomfortable letting you go alone. He wanted to keep you safe, no matter what. Another thing what was going on inside him for the second you walked through the doors of the hotel. He started to think that he grew some kind of attachment for you... "Don't worry Stolas. I'll talk with her. It's only two days." You said goodbye to him and hang on. As you turned around you jumped and let out a terrified gasp. "Al! Geez don't scare me like that!" His heart fluttered by the nickname you gave him. "Oh I'm sorry sweetheart, I just came by and heard you talking. Who was it, a sinner?" He asked Innocent, your body already stiffened up. He could scratch his nails on the soft fabric of the couch rest. "No it was Stolas. My- my friend. Poor thing, he is heart broken because of his unrequired love for Blitzo..." You said, he noticed your also sad expression. "I don't want him to feel that way, so I will talk to Charlie if I can have two days off, so I can give him company." It costs his best to stay calm, and not letting his anger took the hand over him. You didn't done anything wrong, it was him who was the problem. "Oh that's unfortunate to hear. But don't you think it's a long way to his palace only for two days? You already need a day to walk to him alone..." He said, the grip on his cane more harder than usual you thought. "Uhm yes I know, but when I leave today, I might be there by him till daytime so-" "Don't you think he can handle this...problem on his own?" He said, his smile wider and his eyes more narrowed to slits. You could feel your heart skipped a beat. Obviously he couldn't know- he doesn't love anyone and never got his heart broken then. The fact that he's saying this to the person who loves him and knows exactly how it feels like being trapped in a one sided love, only makes it worse. "No he can't Alastor." You said slightly angered, his eyes opened up a bit surprised. "It's not so easy as you might think. I know that you don't understand those feelings, and be glad about it. But let me tell you it's not a joke." You sighed. "It really feels like someone is about to rib your heart out of your chest, and the worst thing about is that you love this person anyway..." You ended your sentence only for him to grew more curious. "How did you know that feeling so well sweetheart?"

You stared at him blankly, your head empty and not a single thought seemed to enter your mind for him to give. The only thing that came close to was Fuck, but you couldn’t give this to him now. “I…” You started as the door flew open and Angel came in together with Husk. They looks darted to you and their chatter got quite in an instant. “Sorry, we interrupting?” Husk asked, more you than him. “Uhm n-no not at all!” You said jumping off the sofa. “Do you know where Charlie is?” You changed the subject, while you could feel the look from the demon behind you stabbing holes in your back. “Uhm she’s in the kitchen, trying some new stuff…” Angel said, and looked between Alastor and you, clearly smelling the thick air. “Thank you!” You turned on your heels and gave the deer demon just a slightly side eye. “I’m sorry, can we talk later?” You had to admit, this was the shittiest idea that ever popped into your mind. What is he going to think about you now? You found Charlie in the kitchen, and you talked with her. “Your friend Stolas? Oh no I’m so sorry for him!” She said and nodded understanding. You told her that you really wanted to help him, and that you asked her to give you two days off. She agreed, you knew she would. Bless her soul. After a while you told the others that you would be gone, still feeling a bit guilty for reject your new task, but Charlie told you it was okay. The sinners need their time anyway. Alastor was always at your side, next to you at the dinner table and even as you packed some things into an old backpack that looked similar to the one you had when you were alive. “Are you sure this will do their need?” He asked, standing in the door and tapping your backpack with the tip of his cane. “I just stay for two days, this is more than I need.” You said, glad that he didn’t insist on his question. Well, you couldn’t just tell him that he was the problem why you knew this kind of pain don’t you? “You are probably right dearest…” You smiled softly at his words. He always calls you differently than the others. I’ts always dearest instead of dear. It’s sweetheart and not darling. You felt special. A little too special maybe. The sting in your heart grew bigger with each second you thought about it and with each step you took with him outside to the lobby to in front of the hotel doors. “Well...I think I’m going now-” “I have to interrupt you sweetheart.” He said, holding up his index finger. “Why?” You asked. “I would be a total fool for letting you go this way all alone.”

Your heart began to race. “O-oh, oh you don’t have to come with me Al. I know you’re busy and- and well I know the way…” Alastor shook his head. “I couldn’t bear the guilt for letting you go alone only to find you tortured by some kind of filthy sinners or Overlords…” “I can protect myself Al.” “Oh I never doubt this. But what gentleman would I be, when I don’t walk my dearest girl to her friend?” His smile grew a bit softer and thinner until he gave you a mouth-closed smile. His eyes were filled with something you could spot as admiration, but you quickly shook this thought off. It was your imagination running wild again, nothing else. “Alright then.” He was happy about your accepting, you could see it in the way his eyes widened. You’ve spent enough time to admire him for afar, studying his features like a little girl with her first crush. It also felt like he is the only true love you ever experienced. Too bad it was all in your head and nothing real. You enjoyed the walk with him, even though you tried constantly your hardest to keep your heart in a steady beat and prayed he didn’t noticed the racing of your veins against his arm as he offered it to you for you to cling in. He was warm against you, even through his coat. He was taller than you which was nothing new, he was taller than the most of the sinners. His smile was easy, his eyes relaxed an a bit lidded like the explanation of bedroom eyes, which made him look ironically more attractive. If he would stand in your room like this, you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself… You turned your gaze away from him in embarrassment. “Tell me sweetheart, you didn’t answered my question earlier…” You heart skipped a beat as you tried your hardest to look at a building with a bright neon font spelling: “Step on Me.” “Oh yes well…” You turned your head in his direction. You had to come up with a solution, and it have to be a damn good one so he wouldn’t get suspicious. “Why do you want to know this so bad?” You awkwardly asked, as he just blinked. “Hmm...I really want to know who I have to kill for making you feel this way…” He entangled his fingers to sharp claws. You love his hands. The sharp nails always managed to run shivers down your spine whenever he touches you. You would have laughed at his words, because he would have to kill himself to actually hold his word. “No. No you better not…” You said laughing. “No come on, you can trust me dearest. I’m almost offended that you won’t tell me.” “I just could have guessed how it feels like don’t I?” “Nonsense, I saw the look on your face. After all you are not hard to read sweetest. Even though I adore this in you, this could also be your dead end. In this world…” He suddenly came incredible close to you as he stopped you in your walking. “I wouldn’t want you to feel those things sweetest. So, could you tell me? Please?”

His gaze and the fact that he actually said ‘please’ to you, only you made your heart stutter and your breath irregular. “Hmm...maybe I’ll tell you when I’m back. What about that?” You tried to be teasing, and he titled his head with a grin but also slightly annoyance. “Promise me~?” He sung and the desire to grab his face in your hands was almost unbearable. “Yes...promised.” You two continued standing in the middle of the streets, in the Lust Ring, and staring at each other. You two were the odd picture in the middle of filthy, dirty minded heads who are more interested in fucking another than to actually love another. You stared at him with so much love in your eyes that it made his heart sting. You were so pure. He could never understand the desire to touch anybody's body in certain ways, not in his live or in this afterlife as well. And it changed completely when he’s looking at you right now. Suddenly he felt the urge to wrap his arms around you, to smell your scent which were always around him whenever you were near, to trade kisses along your neck. Nothing like the things those filthy, perverted creatures in this ring might crave, but a loving gesture what this act is all about. He truly loved you. And it hit him deeper than the bullet with he was shot. His heart began to race and suddenly he was very aware of the close distance between you both so he stepped back a bit. “Well then...I look forward to hear the answer from you when I lead you back.” He said now in a raspy voice. The static almost completely gone, you shuddered. “Oh you don’t have to do this Al. I know you don’t like this place and the other neither…” He waved it off, his claws only inches away from your shoulder as he grabbed you gently on your upper back. “That is alright. I don’t have to stay here, I just travel right through it. Don’t break your pretty little head about it.” You gave him a crooked smile as you two walked further. By the time you got more relaxed, slowly becoming the person you really are. His heart fluttered in excitement. Your wings spread towards the sky as you told him a story how you met Stolas the first time. The blue neon lights hits you on the right spots, your face was so bright in this moment and your wings had a silver shimmer in it. The black of your heart shaped antlers reminded him of black gold, and your eyes...the animalistic it brought with it, and your real eye color was breathtaking. You looked like a goddess. Finally there, you thanked him again for walking with you. “I see you in two days. But don’t think I’ll ignore your broadcasts because I’ll still listen to them.” You laughed and he smiled, and his smile reached his eyes completely. “Oh I do hope so sweetheart!” He placed his hands on the top of his cane. “I wish you luck for making your friend feel better…” At the mention of Stolas his eyes got the mix of darkness. Was he jealous? “Yes me too…” You smiled at him. “Well then-” “Can I ask you one more thing before you go?” You stopped him, why did you stopped him? It was the question which itched you more than anything right now. “Yes dearest?”

You hesitated. “Why do you call me differently than the others? Not that I don’t like it, it’s just…” You stopped. Messing with your heart. “Unusual.” He had to thought for a moment because he stood still and avoided your gaze. Instead he looked at the sky. “Well… you are different from the others. So I might like to call you different names.” He looked back at you again, and you almost jumped at the sight of him. His red eyes a warm cherry red, and his pupils dilated. “Those phrases were nothing rare from the decade I came from…” He walked to you a few steps until he stood right before you. “Sweetheart was used for someone you found dearly…” He took your chin in his hands. “Dearest was for someone you laid an eye on for a long time…” He pulled your face closer to his, and took his time to scan your features. “And sugar…” He looked at your lips for a brief second before locking eyes with you again. “Was for someone you were in love with. The young boys would call them baby but I find sugar is much more fitting for you.” You forget how to breath until you could feel your head heated up so you just smiled shyly. “O-okay...that’s interesting to hear. You know how much I love your timeline…” You said. It was the truth you like the time he was from. But the sudden touch was more than enough to make you completely flustered already. He chuckled. “Yes I know…” He titled his head and swung on his heels. “Well then, I’ll see you in two days. Remember, when anything goes wrong and the king will not be able to protect you from it, just call my name and I will be here. I will hear it.” He said, looking over his shoulder. “Yes...yes sure. Goodbye.” “Goodbye. Sugar.” Your smile was replaced with shock as he was swallowed up by his demons in an instant. As you walked in to Stolas palace you immediately got hugged from your owl friend. “Oh (Y/N) I’m so happy you are here right now!” You rubbed his back. “I know, I just wish I would see you in a less depressive way.” The demon sighed, and wiped his smudged mascara from his cheeks. “I’m so sorry you have to see me in this state. But- I don’t have someone else-” “No, no it’s fine I want to help you you are my friend Stolas…” You said and grabbed his arm. “We can get through this. I’m here now.” He looked at you sadly before leading you into his main room where you placed him on the sofa. “Okay now: talk. I want you to express everything you feel.”

He looked down at his hands. “Blitzo he…” He stopped. “He doesn’t see it. He cannot see the way I feel for him. He was here yesterday.” “He was here? You told him that you-” “Yes…” He nodded. He started to tell you the story what happened, and you tried your best to comfort him. The nights changed into the daytime because it was the only time you could make him a bit happier even just for a little while. “I know how you feel. I got a similar issue…” You told him once you two sat on the carpet and ate ice cream. “I know. You are in love with the worst demon in hell?” He asked. After yesterday he now seemed more stabilized than before. “He’s not always like that. He walked all the way with me here.” Stolas gaze weighted heavy on you. “And...something happened?” You looked at him for a brief moment only to look away. “Yes. Almost. But this is not important right now. I’m here to make you feel better not you taking care of me when nothing actually happened.” You shrugged it off just to pick inside your ice cream, the thoughts far far away. “No tell me about it. It’s far better than to think about my current situation to no end.” You sighed. “Fine. He asked me why I know the feeling of unrequired love so good.” You started and placed the cup next to you. “Oh...and you told him…” “No! No I just dodged out the question the whole time. Now he waits for the answer when he pick me up after tomorrow.” You stared at the ceiling of his. His beautiful star sky felt like the one left on earth, and you smiled sadly. “You know, I never thought that I could love someone like that. It never was like this in my lifetime.. Now that I’ve got him it all feels so surreal. It was the feeling I’ve always wanted, yet when I have it it’s the worst.” You scoffed. “Guess it’s only a good feeling when both are in the same boat.” You looked at Stolas who looked suddenly more sad than ever. You had an idea. “You know what? I’ll go talk to him.” The expression on his face was almost like if you had told him you burned his daughter alive. “What?! No! No you can’t just go talk to him H-he will get mad at you oh he will hate-” “If he’s hating me then I’m fine with that.” You said, a serious tone in your voice. “I’ll go and talk to him. He’s already pissed off so when it’s me he let’s off steam then it’s better as if it was you.” You took his hand in yours. “Don’t hate me but you’re not in the right state for talking with him in the next while. You would let your emotions lead you and I’m neutral about it. I can put the facts on the table, without he hurting

you more.” “I can’t order this from you…” “Yes you can and even if you forbid it to me, I would do it anyway.” You said smiling. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow if that’s better for you. You know to emotionally prepare yourself?” He let out a tired laugh. “Yes this would be nice.” “Good. Alright then. Let’s eat this here up before it gets even more liquid.” You said, grabbing your ice cream cup. When your love story don’t have a happy ending, you might just form one for them.

Alastor was back at the hotel, but he wasn’t really at peace. It was hidden in the little ways that his assumption was indeed right. It was the way how he sat uncomfortable at his seat while dinner, how everyone's chatting made him nervous, or how he couldn’t find a spot to just sit and wait. Those two days were the worst for him and he couldn’t believed that you were the reason for it. “What is wrong with me…” He said to himself after he ended his broadcast. This time it was shorter and felt more like a desperate way of dealing with this feeling until it passes. At the second on time as the next day rises, he stood up a lightness in his steps. He knew he was far too early, but he had an idea. He told Charlie that he’s going to visit Rosie and pick you up after that. She agreed, of course what else so he went straight to her. After all he needed someone who might be able to tell him what’s exactly wrong with him. “Oh Alastor that this would ever happen!” She cheered and her smile wider than anything else. He just rolled his eyes. “Care to tell me Rosie?” She chuckled. “Oh come on I think you know exactly what all of this means, you are just too scared of it actually happening!” He couldn’t ignore the stitch coming with her words, but she was right. He would deny it until the last moment, but this little other thing inside him told him to have hope. Maybe you would accept his courting? “Go and tell her when you pick her up. So many people regret it their whole life for not telling the one their love for them. Or they are too afraid. But you two got the eternity gifted. What could you have possible to lose? It can’t be worse than a no.” “I see that you are clearly not understanding the issue it comes with loving another person…” He said, the grip on his cane firmed. “Yes I do. You never felt this way about someone so you are afraid. But don’t be. Try it. And you’ll see it will work out for both of you.” She laughed. “There must be a reason why the universe waited until your death to let you meet each other.” Yes there must be something. He went straight from Rosie’s to the long road to you. He could have used his shadows to teleport,

but he chose the long way to rethink everything he ever done. It would cost him everything he worked for. Someone could come and rip you apart from him. What if he’s not able to protect you from that? Maybe you could keep it as a secret so no one will know? You would understand that, you always understand everything. But what if you say no? Could he bear the thought of his only and first love saying no to him? He could force you, he had the power. But oh he would never do it. Never to you. He didn’t realized his hands were shaking, of angst. For the first time someone messed with his feelings in such a strange odd way he believed it was only a dream. All in a sudden he was right there and the long way didn’t seemed so long after all. His heart was racing he had to choose now. He wanted you to be with him. He wanted to learn to love, he wanted to try. Oh how he hoped you would try to love him too. All his flaws and his imperfections. To love the monster he was. He searched for you in every corner outside of the palace but couldn’t find you. He didn’t even came close to the door because of the security. Cold terror flooded through his veins. “Find her.” He orders, bringing up his shadow who looked much more terrified than he might look now. It resembles his true emotions after all. The shadow disappeared and Alastor after it. He found you about three blocks away in an old dirty building, your voice banging loudly from the windows. Faster than ever, he teleport himself right on the spot between you and a now utterly confused red hellborn with two large black and white striped horns now were standing. “What the fuck are you doing here, aren’t you her goddamn cru-” “Shut the fuck up Blitzo!” He looked over at you and raised his eyebrows. You looked feral, your features more hellish than before, a clear showing of how angry you must be. Your horns grew fourth the size, your eyes a dangerous light and your wings spread larger and sharper than before. “Whatever. You can go now and stop pissing me off!” Blitzo said and turned around only for you to raise your hand, your sharp claws longer and your power to pull him out of thin air back to you. You were powerful he knows that. And you looked so sinful attractive right now he had to admit. “I’m not finished with you. Can’t you see that Stolas loves you? And you love him too I know it! How can you let him down when it’s the thing you want so bad!” “You know nothing about me!” “Yes I do Blitzo! You are my friend, you brought me here when I first came to hell and I see how you care! Care about everyone in this damn business of yours and Stolas included! You might think you are not worth it or some kind of shit but you do! You do deserve it! Don’t stop the love when it’s giving to you! Do you know how he is feeling? How hard it is to love someone only to know it’s one sided?!” You almost screamed while Alastor stood there and watched you, unsure what to do. “Just because your fucking deer demon don’t love you, it doesn’t mean that I have to accept Stolas!” You froze and you could see the shock running into Blitzo’s jumped expression. He didn’t said that on purpose. But Alastor heard you. Shit.

“Oh fuck, (Y/N) I’m sorry I-” “Don’t apologize to me, apologize to him.” You only said. There was nothing you could do to undo this. You would have to come up with something but not now. Your features changed back to normal as you let out a shaky breath. “I know you well Blitzo. And you know I love you two idiots so please do me a favor and just fucking talk with each other…” You glared at him one last time before turning around and avoided Alastor’s gaze on you. “We can go now. Come.” You said quietly and walked right up to the window because you don’t really had the nerves to run down the entire building. You jumped and flew right to the ground, while Alastor was still standing on his place, looking at Blitzo. “Well I think you are really bad at this. I would be careful in your position…” He said, Blitzo only clenched his teeths. “Fuck off. I really don’t know what she sees in you but I hope you are just half less an asshole with her!” He said and brushed of, slammed the door behind him. A slightly sprinkle of hope flooded him. Was it really right what he heard from the hellborn? He manifested himself on the spot next to the building, only for finding you curled up on the curb, your face in your hands. “Oh sweetheart…” He placed himself next to you, much more closer than he would ever accept it. You wondered that he even sat on the ground with you, but you had other problems right now. You were angry with Blitzo, but this would not have made you this insecure, it was because he couldn’t hold his damn mouth. Alastor didn’t seemed to bother your silent confession to him, but you know you couldn’t just let it hang it in the air forever. “It’s alright. I...I’m just angry at him. But that’s okay. He will talk with him.” The demon looked at you raising an eyebrow. “Well he didn’t seemed like doing so.” You smiled slightly. “Yeah because you don’t know him.” You looked up again. “He took me under his roof before I came to the hotel. I stayed long enough to know that he will talk with Stolas. And to know that he loves him too.” You avoided his intense gaze again. “Well…” You started and got up. “I think I owe you an answer too. Even though you know it thanks to Blitzo…” You hands were sweating, the air got so hot in an instant. He slowly stood up as well, but not taking up space. The opposite, he even moved closer to you. As he tried to say something you quickly cut him off, not wanting to hear the things you fear the most yet. “Please let me talk first okay?” You asked, and breathed in and out. “The reason why I know this feeling of unrequited love so good is because...I’m...uhm I’m in love with- with you. Since a long time. Since the day I came to the hotel when I’m honest. Well it felt

like that for sure.” You started and couldn’t look at him, fixating a spot on his bow tie. “I was so afraid of you finding out and confronting me because you don’t feel those things and now it’s all out. I can’t believe it really. But I didn’t wanted to ruin the bond we build so I just hoped it would go away someday. A-and it will be for sure I just-” You cut yourself off. “You must be hating me right now. I can’t blame you for making fun of me, It’s really dumb from me to believe that someone like you could love someone like me even when it’s not even your fault you can’t feel those things…” You could see his feet moving closer to you so you looked up carefully as he suddenly grabbed your face in his hands and pulled you into a kiss. Your whole body was shaking and stiffened for shock as you shyly grabbed his wrists. His warm lips on yours felt like a piece of heaven and the strands of hair in his so perfectly placed hairstyle tickled you on the cheek. You could hear your heart slamming against your rib cage and you could hear the way he sighed as he pulled away for air. You stared at him, the raw shock in your eyes and lips parted. Oh there you are again, his goddess actually feeling the same way about him as he felt about you. “You are speaking so much nonsense sugar.” He said, his head lowered up to yours, gently grabbing your left hand and guiding it to his chest on the spot where his heart beats. His other hand wrapped around your side keeping you close to him as if you could disappear into thin air if he would not pay attention. “But- but why? You can’t love me, nobody’s ever done that before!” You tried to say but he only softened his smile and raised his finger. “You are a bit like your friend my sweetest. You can’t believe that someone really loves you. But darling I can tell you you drove me insane this whole two days as you were gone, and all the other days since I first met you.” He said, slowly placing his hands on your lower back. You continued to lay yours flat on his chest which were rising up in down in a breathless way, he was breathless. The static in his voice completely gone, what made him even more attractive than he already was. “I must admit to you and only you that I was scared...for once in my entire life.” He said, his eyes gazed over your face and stopped at your lips. “I was scared to have something to lose. But a good friend told me that we have eternity. And...I’m not used to this. But I want to try it. I want to try loving you the right way. When you can bring it over you to love a monster like me.” You were feeling sad for him. Did he really think that you thought about him so low? “You are not a monster.” You began, slowly reaching for his cheek. “Not for me.” You smiled. “We can try this together. We will start slow and take baby steps. Because I want this too.” You leaned your forehead against his. “More than anything.” “Good. Because I’m pretty sure I love you too, more than anything ever in my life next to my mother. Sugar” You smiled. “That’s sweet. And also the nickname.”

He looked at you smiling wider. “It is fitting for you.” He brushed off a strand of hair out of your face as he gazed at you with half lidded eyes. You two came closer until you stopped him gently with your hand on his chest. “You’ll tell me when you’re feeling uncomfortable with anything alright? Let this be our first rule.” “Oh so organized.” He teased and brushed your nose with his. He couldn’t hide the fact that his heart lit up from your words. “I agree. But the same is for you dearest.” You smiled. “Alright.” “May I kiss you now darling? Because the imagination I had of this couldn’t even reach the reality…” You chuckled but couldn’t hide the reddish color of your whole face from him. He chuckled too. He found it amusing how easy you were to fluster. “What’s the matter darling?” You pouted. “Nothing. It’s your choice of words.” You teased. “Oh you mean the fact that I think sinful thoughts about you? Or is it the way I’m calling you?~” You rolled your eyes and pushed him away playfully with your hand. He laughed, a laugh so truly and from the bottom of his heart that it made you melt. He took your hand from his chest and kissed it. Surprised you looked back and gave him a crooked smile. “Maybe it’s also the way you’re acting.” He pulled you close to him again. “Oh sugar you wrapped me around your finger. I’ll be damned…” You leaned your head against his, while stroking through his hair. “You already are. We are both.” A quick kiss from you on his lips made him press his lips against you again in an instant. You smiled as you could hear him sighting and as he got braver to explore your mouth. You let him take the control, wanting him to take the next step when he’s ready. This must be a dream. You thanked Blitzo to the universe that he couldn’t shut his stupid mouth. You hoped they will find their happy ending too, soon.

~~~~~~~~~

The full moon episode killed me so I had to add this trauma somehow :') I hope you like it you all!

[bbyobbyo]

You don’t usually wake up at the same time as Jihoon, but he definitely makes sure that you wake up with him everyday.

content: fluff, established relationship, idol!Jihoon x non-idol!reader, domesticity, spotify as a plot point lol

wc: 1.6k

note: inspired by this reddit post which i thought was 100% something jihoon would do especially now that i know he uses spotify lol. i feel like im the only one who finds it hardest to write for their bias, i get really in my head about whether or not im portraying him in the way I want to. i’ve never written idol!au either (bc i think it’s easy to overdo) which only adds to me overthinking ahhhh but hope that you guys enjoy this one !! as always feedback or comments are appreciated 🥰 I read all of them and they make me so happy hehe

Jihoon swears there's something magical about waking up to a calm and quiet morning. The sun is barely just rising, blanketing the world in a soft twilight that cuts the dark blues of the waning night. And in his bed, he finds something equally as magical: your soundly sleeping figure next to him. The world is silent except for your steady breaths, and he has to take extra caution to not fall asleep again if just to enjoy the brief moments of tranquility like this during his otherwise busy life. Eventually he gets up to start his schedule for the day, taking one last look at your peaceful slumber in fondness before he closes the door behind him.

Make no mistake, Jihoon loves his job. Having 13 members in his group is fantastic, except when you realize that 13 people requiring styling and wardrobe before every public appearance takes a lot of time. His mornings may start early, but in reality most of his time is spent listening to music in salon chairs and dozing off in waiting rooms.

In fact, it was in the middle of getting his makeup done when he discovered that around 8:20 am every day, his Spotify (which he uses to listen to his daily Bruno Mars Mix playlist) stops playing on his phone and switches to… the speaker at home? He bought a new speaker a few days ago because the last one you had was on its last legs from years of use, but if it’s malfunctioning already then he might have to look into getting a new speaker sooner than he thought.

Upon closer observation, Jihoon also notices that the song has changed — it’s playing one of his songs, your favorite one actually. Immediately he realizes what happened. He contemplates shooting you a text to tell you to disconnect him and just sync your own Spotify account to the speaker, you’re home more often than him anyway. That thought quickly disappears, however, as he imagines you getting ready for work listening to the sound of his voice and genuinely enjoying the music that he pours his heart and soul into, he can’t bring himself to disturb you even for a moment. His eyes soften as he stares blankly at the Spotify home screen, headphones now deafeningly silent. Surely, Jihoon decides, he can live without his Bruno Mars Mix for just a while longer.

-

You sometimes wonder if your boyfriend is magic. Although a good morning text has been standard in your relationship since the beginning, it's starting to concern you how perfectly timed it is.

Normally, your morning routine is simple. Wake up. Get out of bed. Bump some tunes. Check your notifications. Brush teeth. Wash face. Get dressed. Pack bag. Leave the house.

You’re usually the one to text him good morning given your later wake up time, yet he’s been beating you to it lately. Yes, he knows you set your alarm 8:15 everyday because it's “the perfect amount of time you need to get ready and still make it to work on the dot”. But that doesn't explain why “rise n shine babe :))” pops up on your phone as you brush your teeth on the days you wake up early, too.

[8:06 am] you have to tell me how you do it

[8:06 am] Do what????

[8:07 am] im onto you mister 👁👄👁

[8:07 am] 👍👍👍

You spiral through the possible scenarios in your head: he has your location, but that wouldn’t tell him when you woke up right? Does your icon move around on the map? No, the location data isn’t that accurate. Maybe when you open your phone, your Facebook status shows that you’re online? No, you know for a fact that you both haven’t opened that app in years. Hmm, did he plant cameras everywhere in the apartment? Sure, you get the security utility of it but if he did it without telling you, there would be some SERIOUS things to talk about, maybe it really is all just guesswork and coincidence?

Sigh… you’ll get to the bottom of this eventually.

-

Jihoon doesn’t plan on telling you, but rather wants you to figure it out yourself. After all, he’s been dropping so many hints already. Your chill hangouts at his studio have a gentle hum of your favorite songs as background noise. He purposely asks you about the new albums of your favorite artists that, surprise, he’s already listened to. He even makes it a point to remind you that the speaker at home is hooked to his account every now and then.

Sometimes, he swears that you’ve figured it out and were just messing with him when you make little comments about your his song choices like “Really babe, you listen to your own songs this often? Are you sure you’re not a narcissist or something?” But besides these moments, there was no indication that you knew about his secret morning routine as you questioned him regularly about his tactics.

He has to admit, it was kind of amusing to see you growing increasingly suspicious of how on earth he figures out when you wake up, being particularly fond of the cute annoyed face you make when he tells you “No babe, I did not put an Air Tag in your pajamas, you barely sleep in clothes anyway.” Even your pout is adorable as you pretend to give him the silent treatment, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to keep it up for long. His little secret is safe for another day.

-

Jihoon has been working brutal hours lately. As deadlines for the upcoming albums drew near, his days start earlier than ever and end equally as late. However, the one thing he can always count on is coming home to you waiting for him.

It was the night of the new album release and you were more excited than usual, greeting him at the door like a lovesick puppy as soon as you heard the door handle turning. “Hi love, what are you doing up so late?” he pulls you into a quick kiss as he sets his stuff down.

“I wanted to wait to listen to the new album with you so you could see my reaction to it!” your eyes were beaming with enthusiasm. Jihoon’s heart swells at the sentiment, knowing that his partner supports him and his passions with such sincerity. You excitedly motion him to join you in your shared bedroom, full of anticipation to hear the fruits of your boyfriend’s labor for the past months. “Alright, you’re not allowed to be disappointed then” he jokes as he pulls out his phone, quickly finding the recently released album and making sure the volume is high enough before tapping the first track and handing it over to you.

Only a few seconds of the song passes before an idea flashes across your eyes. “Wait, let’s play it on the speaker!” you interrupt. You’re on your feet in seconds and before Jihoon could even reach over to press pause, you’ve already commanded your home speaker to play the track out loud. The music immediately ceases on his phone and switches over to the speaker.

Shit, he’s done for, he thinks to himself. He studies your face carefully for any indication that he’s been found out but surprisingly, your attention is laser focused on the melodies now reverberating around your apartment. You’re mostly quiet during the songs but the rhythmic nodding of your head and facial expressions are a tell all of how much you enjoy each track that plays, contorting in a myriad of impressed shapes as killing part after killing part reaches your ears.

As the album comes to an end you look like you’re about to burst at the seams. Your boyfriend can’t control his smile as compliments and detailed thoughts flow freely from your lips for the rest of the night, not ceasing even as the both of you walk through your unwinding routines together. God, you love comeback days. The elaborate music show stages that you will undoubtedly watch later that evening has already been pre-recorded, giving you precious time together in the morning before his schedule whisks him away from your arms once again.

As you get ready for bed, you drift off to sleep knowing that tomorrow, for the first time in what seems like forever, you can finally tell him good morning in person before he can.

-

Your alarm rings at 8:15 am. Jihoon doesn’t need to be up this early, but he would do anything in order to be the first thing you see when you wake. You roll around in his embrace and press a kiss to his cheek. “Good morning” you both whisper to each other at the same time, sending you both into a fit of giggles as you argue who said it first.

Jihoon watches in adoration from the bed as you so naturally go through your morning routine, one that he misses out on more often than he would like. Today, you forgo your usual morning songs as you queue up your personal favorites off the new album, much to his delight. He tries his best to burn this scene into his memory as you gather your things and prepare to head out, giving him one last kiss. You’re about to unlock the door when you pause in your tracks.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” he hums back from the bedroom.

“Enjoy the speaker, I can’t kick you off today.” you say with a smirk on your face as you exit the apartment, leaving Jihoon speechless.

[five-rivers]

Pollfic continuation from here!

Yes, it looked just like the candle symbol from the visitor badges.  Why–?

Sharp pain spiked along his shoulder blades and spine, then diluted into an almost comfortable stretching, growing sensation.  A similar, but smaller sensation centered on his eyes and temples.

“Danny?  Danny, are you alright?  Oh, you should have taken the health monitor, I knew it–”

Danny waved off their concerns with a few hand symbols, and tried to assess what was happening to his body.

He had experienced many changes during his exploration of the Infinite Realms, but this one felt weirdly brutal.  Maybe because it wasn’t a place applying the changes, or the influence of a particularly powerful ghost, but a kind of magical symbol?  

That was something he’d have to explore later.  

For now, he at least had a theory as to where these ghosts came from.  Taking all their strange traits together, they seemed to be a combination of the five ‘aids’ given to visitors.  Maybe the first of them were people who’d gotten lost too often, and then they learned how to reproduce the changes in others?

Danny, panting slightly, got to his feet, his new wings and antennae twitching uncomfortably.  The main wings were large enough that they brushed the bottom and sides of the sphere while folded, and the secondary set of wings had long, twisty tails, like a luna moth (thank you, Sam, for the childhood bug phase).  Meanwhile, his antennae were large, feathery, and picking up sensations his brain wasn’t entirely equipped to handle, although his core was doing a good job of it.  

Also… was he smaller?  Again?  

Not the time.  But, someday, he would figure out what force of nature always made him tiny, and then they’d be having words.

Danny had to leave before another symbol was drawn on the ice.  It was starting to look like the quill, and he did not want to be soft and fluffy.  

Even if the light it was made of looked very entrancing…

Stop that.  

He raised his hand and spelled out a word.

-NAVIGATE-

“What do you mean, navigate?”

“He means when he gets out, Jack.  He must not be able to see very well.”

Danny could actually see just fine, but that was probably going to be part of the problem, if he was going to be attracted to light like a moth.  He needed his parents to keep him on track.

With that sorted out, he put his hands on the ice (and it was harder to get the angle he wanted, gosh darn it, so his arms probably were shorter), focused, pulled on the deep well of cold energy inside him… even if the term ‘cold energy’ still made the nascent scientist inside him cringe… shut up, it was a useful way to think about it…

The sphere shattered in a wave of ice and force, and Danny picked a direction at random.  Well, almost random.  At first, he veered towards the brightest light source, but remembered himself (and realized that the brightest light source was the people) at the last minute.  

“Wall!” shouted his parents, and he banked.  

“There’s a hallway at your ten o’clock,” said Mom.  He turned, and, yes, he could see a square of… not darkness.  There was too much light going through it.  It must be a pretty common route into and out of this larger space.  

Danny took it anyway.  Simply speaking, there was no way he was going to be able to effectively hide.  He was leaving a literal trail of light as he moved.  The ghosts here would be able to follow him without any trouble.  What he needed was speed, so he could get out of here and find library members who would, hopefully, know how to deal with this, before any pursuers caught up with him.  

He felt telekinesis reach out to him and try to power through his aura, but he he threw off the grasp.  

There was that, too.  He had to stay out of range of their mass telekinesis.  

“If my readings are right–” started Dad.  

“No,” said Mom.  There was a ripping noise.  “Turn right, sweetie!”

“There should be a staircase or something similar–”

“They’re trying to cut you off,” said Mom.  “Left, now right again.”

“Might have to double back–”

“There’s no way.  Keep going, Danny.”

“See if I can find another one–”

Unexpectedly, a ghost popped up in front of Danny.  Far enough away that he could easily avoid them, but that light!  The brightness of the symbol they held in their hands!  It was so… so…

[the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

Alright folks, I've taken up reading tma again (sorry for the delay, had a bunch of stuff to sort out before) and finally arrived at mag 60! Since I now have a faithful audience of one (1) person that I must disappoint, may I present:

The Magnus Archives but I'm halfway through season 2 (and the confusion somehow got worse)

The episodes are named "MAG[...]" and that's apparently because of "Magnus".

I know, that's pretty obvious. I'm dumb, ok?

There's Michael, he's tall, distorted and HANDsome and I love him.

He kidnaps people and talks about philosophy. What an icon. I'm gay

That (the kidnappings, not me being gay) really annoys the main character. I think he should take another cup of coffee and let Art be.

Speaking of our favourite jalapeno, he entered his paranoid era!

Babygirl is archiving all over the Magnus and spying on his colleagues. What a slay.

Scary Switcheroo Sasha is Not Happy At All about it.

Well, to be honest, nobody is. Except Martin. An absolute gem.

"I am not a who, I'm a what" WERE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THAT SENTENCE? IT'S SO PHILOSOPHICAL I'M PUTTING THAT ON MY METAPHORICAL YEARBOOK AND EMBROIDERING IT ON EVERY TABLECLOTH I CAN FIND

GERARD KEAY IS BACK HE'S ON HOLIDAY I LOVE HIM.

Simon Fairchild is everywhere who is that man is he dead is he God's servant did he write Ex Altiora?

Same for the Lukas did a guy named Lukas decide to make a plethora of children, give them all his name and raise them in the true ways of evil so that they can keep his legacy alive? Are these all clones determined to make our overpopulated planet experience loneliness?

These two names scare me more than my neighbour, which is impressive. My neighbour is very dreadful.

I can't even see an alliance between the both in my worst nightmares it would be so awful like- oh wait they did it. Nevermind.

Fairchild/ Lukas ship when?

OKAY THIS IS DERIVATING CHANGING TOPIC...UH... MICHAEL. I LOVE MICHAEL. I THINK HIS HALLWAY LOOKS FANCY.

Oh yeah funny thought since both Michael and the door are part of something bigger, does it mean that Helen became part of it too? Will we get Cool Technicolor Helen ?

I Do Not Understand the link between all of these. Is it a plot made by Jürgen Leitner to confuse me?

When does Elias Bouchard reveal his cover and accept his identity of secret weedsmoking hypervillain ?

Agnes the orphanage girl is sus, amirite?

So, yeah, season two started, even more spiders, ceaseless watching, meat, rot, insects, my unending love for Basira (my queen), and the boneturner guy who got a new job where he, well, turns bones. Fascinating!

It's behind you.

So? Anything to tell me that might be useful to know? Am I having any paranormal experience? Any tickets for the next Grifter's bone concert you're willing to share? Who the fuck is the clown grandpa and why does his memory seem to linger on the podcast like duct tape scars on thin paper?

Good luck answering these, you have an hour.

With love (and infinite hate for Jürgen Leitner),

Vik.

[originalcharactersexyman]

Hiya! Howdy! Id love to toss my goofy silly mailman tf2 oc in the ring if there were slots left! His names Brodie :> Heres his toyhouse

Meet YOUR 10th Class Merc. The Courier. His name is Brodie 

From New York! Go Yankees!

Around 32-34

6"1

Lets take alook into the past: For a lot of his life he has committed ,,, so much fraud. So much. All of it. Mail fraud tax fraud voter fraud healthcare fraud identity fraud. Even credit card fraud when credit cards came out in 1966.  Frauding it up ever since he was a kid delivering newspapers and snooping in neighbor's mail. 

Eventually his fraudulent lifestyle catches up to him and lands him in prison when he suddenly became the inheritor of a minuscule fraction of Australium. And a certain group of individuals did not take too kindly to some rando getting his hands on the  insanely precious resource.  In order for the Australium to be ‘misplaced’, Brodie had to die. And die he did. Not long after being incarcerated, he was hanged for his many, many crimes. A bit of overkill, really, but it was apparently the only way. Plus a lot of the guards and inmates kept finding themselves in varying degrees of debt so two birds one stone. Miss Pauling herself attends the hanging to make sure Brodie does die and sure enough he is pronounced dead. As dead as it gets. 

Well. Mostly.

As his soul prepares for judgment in hell,  Brodie decides “I am absolutely not ready to be dead yet.” Soo he convinces Satan “hey you guys got the wrong guy. I’m blah blah blah, here’s my ID and credentials n whatnot. Here’s who you’re actually looking for” (a lie obviously) but Satan’s like “Oh shit. Um wow- this, like, never happens. Lemme…fix that real quick.” (This is intentionally left vague and about how much hell tell ya about it with changing details each time)

Back in his body, Brodie sits up, completely nakey, save for the body blanket, and startles Miss Pauling who instinctively has a gun to his face. Quickly thinking, Brodie strikes a deal; “Hey hey! Don't Shoot. Uh, listen.  Technically, I was pronounced dead.  Obviously you can keep whatever I was supposed to inherit, I won't even give it another thought but just lemme go - please?”  Sure enough, Miss P agrees, except now Brodie has to…start over again.  Which isn’t a big *deal*, but it’ll take him a minute to get back on his feet since his last identity is supposed to be cold turkey. 

Though, this gives Miss P an idea.  “Hey, do you want a job?”

So he’s back, babyyy. Brodie is a new man (who legally doesn't exist) and is recruited by Mann Co to be the teams smuggler mailman and a merc when violence is needed!!  Someones gotta deliver the mercs all their niche needs and all that, ya know? Someone who ain't afraid to get their hands dirty or have fingerprints or the same teeth they did before or leave any paper trail!  Someone who isn't afraid to break into the next city over's local zoo and get some baboon uteri and hearts for medic, or do a 24 hr trip to Australia for Saxton hale pain tonic for sniper (so they avoid import fees), wine for spy, copious amounts of Tom Jones merch for scout, crates upon very weighty crates of ammo for Heavy, etc etc. Even just snacks from each mercs country (that Courier def sneaks bites from but dont tell anyone shhhh). Or just the pizza the mercs ordered in town.

Need something delivered? Brodie is your Courier! (He has to as his contract states, lest he break it and is 'super killed'.  No its not explained what that means but Brodie don't intend to find out.)

--

He's a bit of a goofy guy.  Quick witted when it comes to fraud but would ask Alexa what 4 x 12 is. His undying passion is committing petty crimes and scams and changing people's legal last names to something like "Scrotum". He's very *very* nosy and will read the merc's mail before he even gets it to them. He's got gossip to share. He loves snacks and has an awful diet consisting of gas station foods. Caffeinated soda and donuts are go-to's, especially on the road. His fav mode of transportation is on his motorcycle.

WOOF thats a long one lol Thank you sm for ur consideration !

WELCOME ABOARD!

Seats Taken: 22/24 (TWO LEFT)

[thelemoncoffee]

excuse me i'm just going to just copy/paste some rambling i sent on discord and call it a post. this is loooonnggg and kinda incoherent

stupid self indulgence is stupid but sometimes i think about an au where half way through his second year at HPA, Kokichi decides to drop out because he can't keep up with the image he made for himself. like he spends a whole year and a half being the asshole class clown of the class, but this is on top of having nearly dropped out of his previous school (hc: military adjacent) because they didn't like him there either due to his differing ideals for what a leader looks like. he's human and despite being very good at covering up his pain, there's still only so much he can take, so when he finally reaches that breaking point he drops out of HPA and just goes home

he told no one at HPA, just one day he was there and the next he's gone and never comes back again. he spends his time at home doing more with his families, both DICE and blood, as well as trying to find himself a job that doesn't suck major balls. he's lowkey depressed that he gave up so hard on his dream of becoming the best leader he could possibly be, but the road to it he'd been carving was insanely self destructive because he by nature can't follow the rules.

i can just kinda imagine the conversation he had with his parents about it before dropping out. his explanation is; 1) he isn't being taught new things on how to be a leader because HPA expects him to just figure it out on his own with the tools they give him. 2) he can't get but one person in the whole school to actually follow his lead (Gonta) and he thinks he's far too nice of a person to be dragged around like that. 3) because of his paranoia no one there really likes him so he's constantly fighting with people and digging his hole deeper- which he fully take credit for, he knows it's his fault- and if he were to ever stop no one would believe him at this point and it wouldn't change how they see him. 4) he's doing all of this just for a little paper that says he's the former ult leader, but really what the fuck kind of job would accept a vague ass title like that- and even if they did how many would his leadership actually be fit for?

to him, he's failed his mission to become the greatest leader, and he knows it's he himself who's to blame. DICE also can't last forever because while they may remain friends, they'll all grow up and get their own jobs they gotta focus on, some have already, and what little leadership he has to his name will fizzle away into weekend hangouts. he decides maybe he can go to a collage instead to get a degree in something he's good at, maybe a few different ones- just rummage through his bag of skills till he finds something that works. i really really like thinking about Kokichi's self image and how it affects how he handles being outside of HPA

i imagine he'd still have contact with only two people in total from HPA; Miu and Kaz (Kaz makes sense in my hcs i swear). Shuichi ended up finding out about what had happened to Kokichi from Miu and decided to try and get into contact with him again, which surprised the hell out of Kokichi because he thought Shuichi would be one of the people glad to see him gone- what with all the headaches and bullshit he put him through. little did he know- Shuichi's just as stubborn as he is……. and also he fell hard for him but that's totally beside the point

this is mostly about Kokichi's struggle, Shuichi prying his way back into his life is just a very pleasant bonus that makes Kokichi's life a little less hell. forces him to learn to open up to people again, something he failed to do with anyone at hpa in this au. the last time he opened up to someone that wasn't already in his close circle was when he was 16 and saved what would later become the final member of DICE, many got close but something usually stopped it before he could fully open up, making him want to open up even less

Shuichi's new. he stubborn, and really patient with him, and refuses to leave but doesn't push either. he's just there, waiting for him. he's not trying to forcefully help Kokichi better his life, but he's also not leaving him alone. he makes sure Kokichi knows he's always there for him, even if he doesn't take his help, so Kokichi can't just block him out like he tried before. luring him like a spicy kitten, he's got support, but Kokichi's gotta make an effort himself. the only thing Shuichi really ever makes any effort to push a little is trying to get Kokichi to come back to HPA, saying it's strange without him there and many people actually miss him despite what he thinks they think of him

i think it'd be wholesome if Kokichi decided to come back for the final year after both spending the last half his second year and the whole summer trying to fix his shit, and getting into contact with Kirigiri to confirm that yes he's allowed to come back without having to make up the lost time- if Rantaro can be gone half the year on trips Kokichi can be gone half a year for mental health.

actually imagine from the class's pov: half way through the year the chaos clown vanishes and it's not until like a month later everyone finds out via Miu and Shuichi that he's gone for good, then you spend the remainder of the year without him and it feels really off without his presence and some people kinda realize they didn't hate him as much as they thought, then finally you start your final year at HPA and THE CLOWN'S BACK!! but he's not the same, like some serious shit happened to him while he was gone and he's clearly not the same guy anymore… or he is, but you've never seen this side of him before, and he seems to be nervous to share it with everyone. he's the same, but totally different. he's still pranking people and telling jokes, but there's something broken and nervous there. he still lies but they're played more as jokes instead of the vile front they were before, and there's a noticeable decrease in their quantity. it's still Kokichi, but unlike before you cannot almost mistake him for a sunday cartoon villain in behavior- it's just too real, too lived, too human

but it really depends and i can see him not going back despite Shuichi's pleas too, im just a sap and i like the healthy wholesome stuff where he gets better instead of sulking in a puddle of depression

also not as important but if you want Kokichi can tell Shuichi he'll agree to come back to HPA if Shuichi pulls his shit together- ie; my hc Shuichi also has masking issues where he pretends to be a highly agreeable people pleaser and bottles all his anger and lets himself be a pushover, and Kokichi knows this so he only makes the deal if Shuichi can better himself the way Kokichi has been. mutual luring into healthier lives. it'd also mean Shuichi comes back from summer break a bit different as well and continues to become more different over the year

okay i'm done now

[iero]

Every time I'm pretty much reminded I'm my mom's disappointment child, it literally makes me want to pack up all my shit, move far away from her and just go no-contact with her for the rest of my life.

[batcavescolony]

I'm back talking about Harry Potter and Snape's worst memory because while I hate the author y'all bug me.

Snape worst memory isn't James bulling him or string him up in front of the school, (that was bad I'm not saying it wasn't) it was Lily ending her friendship with him because he called her a Mudblood. With evidence.

To prove my point we have to go read the Deathly Hallows when Snape gave Harry his memories! We get to see the scene again but this time the thing that sticks out the most is Snape calling Lily a Mudblood. Now if that's not enough proof the next memory goes like this.

*Outside Gryffindor Tower*

Snape: I'm sorry

Lily: I'm not interested

S: I'm sorry!

L: save your breath... I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.

S: I was. I would have done. I never ment to call you a Mudblood it just-

L: Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine.

S: No-listen, I didn't mean-

L:-to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?

*Lily leaves. Memory ends*

The next memory is Snape becoming a turn coat for Dumbledore so he could keep Lily safe because Voldemort wouldn't spare her.

Snape has had worse experiences then a teenage James Potter being a bully (even if it was shitty). so we look at the rest of the memory and lo and behold what do we see? The actual worst moment of Snape life, the moment he lost Lily forever.

[drumlincountry]

[love-fireflysong]

Blah blah blah I'm a sham blah blah blah terrible person blah blah blah. You've heard all this before so let's just pretend that I've apologized and made promises to be better only to break that promise like next week knowing me. We're all in agreement then? Perfect. Let's just continue then shall we!

That being said, while I would love to do nothing more than share some writing with you all...yeah I ain't got none of that 😅 Ran into a problem like a month ago called 'I decided to watch the owl house and now I'm once again in a new hyperfixation that I've been trying to fight off and have been failing miserably at'. While unlike ud it hasn't inspired me creatively as of yet, it has inspired in me an insatiable need to absorb literally ever bit of fanart and fanfic ever done, and seeing as that fandom is just slightly bigger than until dawn's, it has meant that that's literally all I've been doing the past months oops. So writing has kinda sorta been on the backburner for me sorry 😔 Hell, I only finally just got back the urge to start sewing again just this past week!

And while I would love to say that writing should hopefully pick back up in the near future, just the fact that I apparently have to move AGAIN in the next couple of weeks to a month means its probably not gonna happen 😒

Anyways, seeing as I've at least been able to start doing at least *one* thing creatively again, here's a cross stitch update woo! Except this time you can see what the front of the that pic of the back I shared a couple of hours ago looks like lol.

[erlanmizu]

.

[slugandthorn]

pain and agony of having so much to learn to make more things but I need a job/further schooling to learn but I have to have made the things first

[addelaidesupreme]

I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.

I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.

I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.

I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.

I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.

I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.

I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.

I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.

I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.

[the-californicationist]

They Help You Practice

Task Force 141 asks you to be the bait for a secret assignment. So, they make you audition for the role. You end up getting gangbanged by the whole team and loving it!

TW: gangbang, vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex, gay sex, degradation, explicitly consensual, spit? please check AO3 link at bottom for full tag list

You let yourself into his office, shutting the door behind you, and stood before him at a sharp parade rest, waiting to be informed about your fate. 

“Sergeant, thank you for coming. There is no need for formalities. This is just a chat.”

You moved to a more relaxed rest and nodded. 

Price continued,

“This is going to be quite the ask. Would you be willing to perform duties which are…outside of your current scope?”

“Yes, sir,” you responded just as you should have, as you were trained to, but Price was hoping you would understand exactly what you would be getting yourself into. 

“I need you to go undercover to a Konni restaurant cover in Minsk…as bait. Am I making myself clear?”

A pause. But, to your credit, you didn’t flinch. You did raise an eyebrow and ask a clarifying query,

“What kind of bait, sir?”

“Our next target, Dimitri Sokolov, will be at the Black Pearl bar in Minsk tomorrow, and we won’t get a better chance to lure him away from his bodyguards. He almost never makes public appearances, so he must be making an exception. Sokolov has,” he paused for a moment, trying to find the words, making general, suggestive motions over his own chest, “particular tastes in his women. You just so happen to have the right profile for the job. Again, this is not an order, Sergeant. I need to know if you’re willing to accept.”

“Yes, sir,” you tried to appear fully in control. You knew your breasts were large, but you had never been asked to use them as a weapon. There was a first time for everything, you supposed. You would do anything to help the team.

The captain loved your composure. He knew you would be perfect for the job. 

“Good. Let's brief the team.”

Price walked with you down to the meeting room at the end of the hall and found Soap, Ghost, and Gaz sitting in the desk chairs every way except the way they were designed, lounging over the furniture like big cats, melting into the various surfaces they encountered. They fixed themselves when the captain walked in. 

“Gentlemen,” Price opened, “this is our bait. Her code name is Rabbit. Rabbit, this is Soap, Ghost, and Gaz.”

You nodded politely and resumed a semi-formal rest position. 

The men had noticed you around the base but hadn’t been formally introduced. You were a desk rider, but still, you were hard to miss. The baggy military clothing had almost managed to conceal a bounty of soft curves, but your lush body persisted beneath it, and the outlines of your feminine form made heinous suggestions in the fabric. Unfortunately for them, you didn’t hang around the gym or the common area enough for them to have generated a fully accurate image of your enticing body, but they were certain it was delicious. They watched you like peckish wolves. Waiting hungrily, shifting in their seats in anticipation. For what, you weren’t sure.

“Rabbit is going undercover for us to take down Sokolov, Vladimir Makarov’s new shipping controller. He has a particular penchant for,” Price paused just long enough for anyone to understand his true meaning, “certain types of women. Rabbit fits the mold, so all she needs is the gear and the training.”

Price cut open three large cardboard boxes to reveal slinky dresses and a number of questionable garments. 

“I’ll need to try them on,” you offered, “Do you want me to get changed, Captain?”

“Sounds good. Come back in when you’re all set,” he smiled, enjoying the view as you left the room. 

Ghost crossed his arms, clearly with quite a mouthful to share and but refusing to. Gaz stared down at the knife he was playing with, bashful. But Soap would not be cowed, and as soon as you left, he said,

“Feeding her to the sharks like bait, Captain? I dinnae ken any of us was so expendable.”

“Soap,” Price warned, “the sergeant is more than capable of handling -”

“I wasnae askin’ about the lassie’s capabilities. Send her in to slit his throat with a knife in her hand, for all I care. But to send her in unguarded, unarmed? No. It’s not right,” Soap crossed his arms. 

“He’s got a point, Captain. Why take the risk of losing an operative?” Ghost spoke coldly. 

Price furrowed his brow at their short-sightedness,

“And do what, exactly? Have the Russians scurry back underground at the first hint of an assassination attempt? We’ve failed that mission three times, boys. I’ll not have this go south again.”

“I’m sure she is capable, Captain. But, is Rabbit committed to this plan?” Gaz asked. 

“Sure,” Price tried to sound reassuring, “we spoke in my office. She agreed to come down here. Besides, she’ll have you three as backup. You won’t let anything happen to her.”

Gaz did not seem convinced. All three soldiers wore a scowl on their faces, and even though Ghost’s was obscured by his mask, his body language communicated his displeasure. Price carefully ashed his cigar to renew the glowing tip, taking a long drag while they waited for you to return. 

You were back without too much of a delay, but when you walked in, your colleagues were visibly stunned. They didn’t recognize you at first. A short black dress had replaced your camouflage fatigues, showing off miles and miles of smooth, shining skin. Your thick thighs stretched the silky fabric, and your ass threatened to escape from the edge of the dress with every step you took. Your new heels clacked sharply against the cold concrete, making your legs flex and tense, showing off your well-formed musculature. You did not miss squat day very often, apparently.

But, the assets you were trying to use for this particular mission were the real stars of the show. Your heavy breasts battled against the low dip of the dress, providing a deep display of cleavage, hinting at pink perky nipples hidden just below the line of the black silk. Your tits jiggled as you struck the floor with each careful step, making the room full of men breathe a little heavier at the sight. 

Soap’s big mouth betrayed them all,

“Christ in Heaven. There you are, bonnie.”

Ghost backhanded him hard on the shoulder. Price glowered.

You had put on a little more makeup than might be socially acceptable in an office setting, making the suggestive outfit complete. Finally, as you stood at the head of the meeting table, you took out your task force regulation braid and pulled your fingers through your hair, breaking up your long waves as they spilled down your neck and back. 

You smiled,

“Well, do I look the part?”

Price coughed, inhaling too much smoke on accident. Gaz hadn’t moved since you walked in the room. He just stood there, dumbfounded, arms held at an odd angle as if frozen in time. Ghost cleared his throat to save them,

“Yes, Rabbit. You clean up very nicely, don’t you?”

“Well,” you sighed, “this is sort of the raunchiest outfit I found in the box. I was going to go with something a bit more casual, but I thought I’d better be noticeable if we’re going to nail this asshole.”

Gaz finally came out of his locked state, aghast,

“Noticeable? Sweetheart, this is more than noticeable. Goddamn.”

“You think it’s too much? I don’t really know what would get his attention,” you shrugged, looking shy as you confessed, “I don’t get asked out very often.”

“You could go out with me, lassie,” Soap edged his way closer to her, slinking around the table, “We’d have a hell of a time, so we would.”

“Don’t listen to Johnny,” Ghost stood in front of him a bit, snaking an arm around your cinched waist, “He thinks takin’ his birds to the dog races is a good date idea.”

“Well, isn’t it?” Soap protested.

Gaz grabbed your hand tenderly, examining your fingers like they were a precious work of art,

“Maybe you could come with me to Berlin next weekend, babes. There’s a killer music festival going on, and we could have a really good time. How does that sound?”

“Boys,” Price interrupted, “I’m sure she has plenty of work to finish here; can’t just be galavanting off with you muppets. In fact, why don’t you stop by my office after this mission, bunny rabbit, and we can work on your projected shipment dates together? You know, I used to be a logistics man, myself.”

Ghost rolled his eyes at the Captain,

“Please, logistics? You drove a truck back and forth on base delivering food to the canteen twenty years ago. I’ve read your file.”

The men all started talking over each other, forgetting your presence in favor of coming out on top of the dog pile. You smiled to yourself, eager to push more of their buttons. 

Slipping one skinny strap down your shoulder, you spoke through the din,

“You know, this dress can be strapless. Do you think Sokolov wants it up…” you locked eyes with Captain Price, seeing his throat swallow hard as he watched you in the silence you had created, “or down?”

The other soldiers were stunned, unable to look away as you slipped both straps off of your shoulders and tucked them into your dress. One strap was still partially visible, and Ghost slowly moved one gloved finger up your arm, tracing your skin lightly, and finished tucking it in for you. He lingered, caressing the side of your breast as he removed it. 

“You gonna be able to seduce this Russian bastard, Sergeant? Or, do you need some practice?” Price asked with a low, threatening tone. 

The whole room held its breath waiting for your answer. The four men towered over your short frame, casting shadows over you like black spells, hoping you would relinquish your control over them. All of their eyes watched as you slowly, achingly lifted a hand and traced it up Gaz’s canvas pant leg, stopping when you discovered the heavy head of his cock, hardening down toward his knee. With the back of your hand, you pet it like a skittish animal, reveling in its smoothness and warmth. Your eyes found his as they fluttered, blood rushing through his body in a panic,

“I think I could use some practice, Captain.”

You felt Gaz’s rod leap at your answer. He bent down to kiss your mouth, slanting his lips fiercely against you. 

Soap came up behind you, gripping your ass through the silk of your dress roughly,

“We’ll help you, lass. We’ll help you practice, won’t we, boys? Jesus, you smell so good,” he buried his face in your neck and sucked against your skin. 

Ghost found your other hand and held it tightly, using it to steady you from Soap and Gaz’s assault. Price moved Gaz out of the way, earning himself a glare, and peeled the dress off of you in one fell swoop, revealing the expanse of uncovered skin underneath. 

“Holy shite,” the captain breathed, whispering his lament, “Sergeant, where are your knickers?”

“I guess I forgot them, Captain,” you blushed, batting your eyes up at him, doing actual damage to his psyche.  

He didn’t have much time to savor the moment though because Ghost was shoving him out of the way to pick you up by the thighs to lay you on the table. The giant knelt between your legs, pulling you by the knees until your ass was hanging off of the low wooden planks. He lifted his mask just enough for you to see him lick his lips over sharp, white teeth before feasting on your wet folds, letting the cloth of the balaclava hide most of his efforts. 

Ghost created a soothing, yet electrically wet warmth in your core which made you keen loudly, only to be muffled by Price’s smoky kiss. You could taste the burned tobacco on his tongue and your skin was scraped by his thick mustache. 

Gaz’s voice got your attention. He had freed his cock from his pants and started to stroke it, standing by your side and playing with your breasts with his free hand as Price savaged your mouth. He tugged on your nipple and told you,

“You know, Rabbit, you’re going to have to really put yourself out there tomorrow. Show him these gorgeous tits of yours. Make him think you’re hungry for his cock,” Gaz rubbed his head, hard and hungry for you, “Can you do that? Let us see how good you can be, princess. We need you to ace this mission”

You felt Ghost dip his hard cock between your pussy lips, distracting you from Price’s tongue in your mouth. You broke the kiss and looked up at Ghost, dazed, into his masked face,

“I promise, sir. I’ll be good,” you looked around at all four of the men, reaching out to grab Soap’s cock that he was stroking for you, “Will you show me how?”

You didn’t give Soap time to answer. The Scot gasped as you devoured him, sucking him down into your throat, making yourself gag as he fucked your throat in and out in long thrusts. He tangled his fingers in your hair. Ghost matched his rhythm below you, pounding his cock into your wet hole. You thought you could feel something on his dick. Was he pierced? You could see your slick gleam on his lips and chin where his mask was still askew. 

“Yeah,” Ghost smiled haughtily, “you like those piercings, don’tcha baby?”

You didn’t have a chance to respond. Price pulled your head away from Soap’s dick, kissing your mouth lewdly again before giving you an order,

“Open your mouth wide for me, love.”

You obeyed. Then, he spit onto your tongue, warm and bubbling, before shoving your face down onto his own fat rod. It made your lips burn with its cruel girth, even though it felt relatively soft, and you thought fleetingly that there was no way your poor little cunt was going to be able to take him, Ghost was big enough to be filling, but the captain was carrying around a true weapon. 

He pulled your head off of him roughly, watching as the strings of drool connected your tongue to his cockhead, growling in short, lustful breaths. 

“Alright, boys. Make sure she’s good and ready for me. You know the drill,” Price barked, and then he was gone. 

The drill? You looked for him, confused, and only found Gaz, who was now slapping his long dick on your cheek, knocking for entrance. He let you take his head into your mouth, having a much easier time than you did with your captain. You bobbed your head up and down dutifully, not realizing just how long his cock was until he tried to force it into your throat. He held you down for a moment, moaning shamelessly, before releasing you to let you breathe. 

“You alright, babes?” He laughed.

You nodded, moaning. Ghost took himself out of your wetness and pulled you off of the table. Soap hopped up to lay where you were, and you moved to ride him, making sure to get right to the edge with him to let Ghost back in. You’d never taken two men at once, much less four, but there was a first time for anything, and you were a quick learner. 

Spearing yourself onto Soap felt like someone had created a warm, custom, living dildo just for you. He was a perfect fit, and you both cried out in pleasure from the sensation. Ghost slapped your ass, hard, and you screamed, clenching around Soap’s cock. Soap moaned darkly. 

“Keep suckin’ that big cock, baby. Need to teach you how to multitask,” Ghost threatened as he bent to eat your asshole, wiggling his tongue into the tight rim to gain entrance.

He started to fuck you with it, his long wet muscle moving in and out as Soap thrust himself up into you, hitting your g-spot every single time like magic. You took Gaz back into your mouth and tried your best to take him deeper into your throat. Every time you did, you would gag, and your muscles would involuntarily clench, and the whole room would moan. You started to come, feeling yourself flood around Soap, whose mouth had latched onto one of your nipples, suckling like he was trying to feed from you. 

You could see Price out of the corner of your eye. He had lit another cigar and was smoking it, stroking himself, still not at his full capacity. You were scared of him. He looked like some sort of demon, breathing fire, as big around as your forearm. He wasn’t as long as Gaz, nor as delightfully curved as Soap, but he made your legs shake without even touching you. When he did touch you, rising from his chair when he wanted to fondle you, pinching a nipple, pulling your hair, forcing your head down on Gaz, it lit you up like you were kerosene and he was the match. 

Suddenly, Ghost’s tongue was gone, only to be replaced by his heavy head. He was going to fuck your ass, and there was nothing you could say to stop him. You’d only done anal once or twice before, and you knew it might hurt. He went so slowly that you could feel each and every piercing as he popped them into you, one by one. Then, as he pulled back out, you felt them pop as each one went through you again, raking himself in and out gently, as careful with you as he could be. When you were more pliant, he began to throw his weight into each thrust, and Soap started to groan below you from the sensation. 

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare, Johnny boy,” Price threatened, his voice full of stern warning. 

You weren’t sure what he was warning him about until Soap pulled his cock out of you and came all over your stomach, Ghost’s thrusts making the fluid smear between you two, rubbing your bodies together. Ghost pulled out next, and you felt his hot, thick ropes spray onto your ass cheeks, melting down your thighs. 

Gaz abandoned your mouth and took over for Soap, feeding himself inch by inch until he found your end, leaving some of his cock out in the cold. He fucked you faster than the others, not caring to move out of the way as Soap rolled off of the table, whining like a whore the whole time. 

Captain Price came around to your face, holding your chin in his hand, looking down at you without pity,

“Garrick’s got a long cock, don’t he, love? You’re being so good for my men, such a good girl. Sweet little slut, hm? You’re going to do so well on this mission. Those areholes won’t know what hit ‘em.”

He grabbed your hair fiercely, hurting your scalp, forcing you to turn and look back at Gaz. Price took a long puff from his cigar, blowing it past your face, 

“Baby, he could fuck you for a hundred years. He’s not gonna come until you scream his name.”

You heard Gaz moan louder at Price’s suggestion, so you did. You screamed for him over and over, not caring who might have heard you, begging for him to come in you. 

“He’s not allowed to come in you, love,” Price kissed your open panting mouth, “But, don’t worry. It’s about to be my turn, and you’ll be feeling my fuckin’ come drip out of your cunt all night long.”

Price’s voice made your blood run cold with fear. He wasn’t making threats. Those were clearly promises. Predictions of the future. His cock was tucked back into the band of his pants, but it lay in wait there like a serpent, eager to strike.

Your heart pounded in your chest as Gaz pulled his long shaft all the way out of you, his come shooting onto your lips and ass, feeling him use his hand to rub it into your skin, making you sticky. Your captain gave him a warning look, and you realized they had done this sort of thing before. Perhaps many times before. As you watched Soap and Ghost comfort each other, breathing close together, touching themselves, you wondered if they ever fucked each other as well. Picturing the four of them rutting into each other made you hungry, deep in your belly, starving to witness such an act. 

Finally, it was your captain’s turn. The look in his eyes made you tremble. You knew he wouldn’t be cruel, not on purpose anyway. He wasn’t a heartless man, but he wasn’t one to hold himself back from what he wanted either. You knew that he would fuck you the way he wanted to, as hard as he wanted to, no matter how much complaining you might do about how his cock would stretch you out - even to the point of pain. 

“On your back, love. Legs up. Spread that pussy open for me,” he commanded. 

You did as he told you, opening yourself up shamelessly, letting your folds spread wide. 

He walked around the table to gaze upon your form, staring at your pink flesh like it was a hot meal, and he was starving. He moaned, rubbing his hand across your sticky mons, 

“Mm, that’s my pretty little Rabbit. Now…” he paused for effect, sinking three fingers into your hole roughly but ever so slowly, twisting his arm as he did, corkscrewing his knuckles into you, “...I want you to understand that there’s a reason I’m last in line, love.”

You cried out from the pressure of his huge hand. It felt like you were going to tear. Then, after a few hard thrusts, he released you. The emptiness you felt was heartbreaking. You looked for him, pleading with your eyes for him to return to you. He pulled his cock free from his waistband, unable to connect his finger to his thumb as he wrapped around it. You whined involuntarily, something animal in you recognizing its fate. 

“Shh, baby, I know,” he drug out his voice, “I know…”

He positioned the heavy shaft on top of your body, measuring himself from base to tip, reaching your navel. As he slapped it against you, it made a loud thudding noise, slamming into your muscles like a fist. Price was so heavy. You’d never even imagined a man could feel like he was pure, warm, thick marble. Your pussy seemed to understand the panic you were feeling, flooding itself, preparing for the upcoming invasion. 

“I’m so fuckin’ eager for you, love,” he slapped you again, quick taps right to your swollen clit.

Then, he put his head inside of you, squeezing himself in. He left it inside of you and started to pump himself with his hand. Between the vibration from his fist and the fact that it felt like you were sitting on the end of a steel bat, you couldn’t hold back your keening, loud and high-pitched. 

Price began the steady, slow march forward, swelling harder and harder by the moment, making your walls feel like they might break. It seemed as if all the blood in your body was rushing down your belly and up your legs, hurrying to your core. 

Your eye were wild, full of your fear, tears forming at the corners of your eyes,

“I can’t, please! I can’t. It’s too big, fuck…”

Price didn’t stop. He just kept feeding himself in and pulling himself back out, wetting his cock’s skin with your soaking hole. 

“You can, and you will, love,” the captain growled, “Now, shut that pretty mouth and take it.”

Your cheeks were wet and your eyes burned, he was so deep within you that it felt like he was thrusting into your throat. You couldn’t breathe.

Suddenly, Soap grabbed your hand, kissing your palm, using his tongue to lick your skin,

“It’s alright, bonnie. I’m here, lass. Breathe with me, lass.”

He bent down to kiss you, but he didn’t quite connect, letting his lips graze yours featherlight. Soap breathed in and breathed out in steady, measured beats. You felt yourself begin to relax. It had such an immediate effect that you heard Price groan, able to slip himself a bit deeper than he had done. 

It was like a chain reaction, the more relaxed you became, breathing with Soap, feeling him suck and lick your nipples softly, the more Price was able to squeeze himself in. 

Finally, you felt his hair at the base of his cock, thick and curled, and as he sighed, he settled inside of you, impossibly pressing against your whole body, making a clear outline of himself in your lower belly. He rubbed it, almost fondly, and you felt every inch of him throb against your walls, his head bullying your womb.

You cried out again from the strain. Ghost and Gaz joined Soap. Gaz began to suckle from your breast on your left side, fondling himself as he did so, getting hard again. Ghost was at your head on the end of the table, and he bent to kiss you, upside down, his tongue running all the way down your throat, long and slippery against your own. 

He pulled away, petting your cheek as Price began to grind himself into you,

“You alright, Rabbit? You enjoying your captain’s cock, hm?”

“Mm hm,” you whispered, whimpering through your tears.

Ghost smiled, and his straight, white teeth looked menacing as he did, sharp, wolf-like,

“I know you are, babe. You’re doing so well. Look at him. You can see him inside of your cunt.”

He lifted your head by your hair, showing you the grotesque shadow of Price’s heavy rod as it shoved itself into you. You reached your hands down to it, feeling it through your skin. It was so unique. His size wasn’t like anything you’d ever experienced, and your body was sending confused signals of passion, your orgasms coming in shattered, broken waves. Feeling incomplete. Too powerful, and yet drawn out like the last note of a symphony. 

As you touched him from the outside, Price moaned aloud for the first time. It shocked you. You looked up at him, managing to meet his eyes.

“Fuck,” you moaned, “You feel so good inside of me, Captain.”

“Mm, yeah?” He replied, using his hands to press yours down onto his cock, making you gasp, “You like it, baby? I’m gonna make sure you never want anybody else.” 

Price reached down and grabbed you by the throat, scaring away Soap and Gaz. He lifted you up, making his dick fit inside of you that much tighter with the change of angle. Then, he began the true performance. He thrust himself in with fast, punishing strokes, slamming himself into you. You were sure you would bruise, and you felt dizzy, almost like you’d pass out. 

Soap was at your side again, holding your hair away from your face,

“Look at you, lassie. Such a good girl for your captain. Takin’ that cock so damn well. Can’t wait to be back inside you, girl.”

He kissed your cheek, palm massaging his dick which was back to full mast, eager again. 

“Alright, Johnny,” Price grinned, “Since you asked so nicely.”

Without any strain whatsoever, Price lifted you up by your hips and held you in the air as he fucked you, bringing you around the table so that Soap could position himself at your asshole. Ghost’s earlier efforts had made it ready for him, and you could very acutely feel how much he was throbbing to be inside of you, pulsing as he fit against Price. 

“Ungh, fuck, lass,” Soap groaned as he began to thrust into you, pistoning with the captain, “He’s got you so tight for me.”

“Yeah? It feels so good. Mmm…” you whimpered, feeling more full than you’d ever been. 

Johnny was holding your breasts as Price lifted you up, brutalizing your pussy. Every thrust felt like an electric pulse, making you cock-drunk and mindlessly pliant. 

They worked in tandem for what felt like eons, pistoning in and out with each other. Eventually, after he had felt you come, Soap addressed his captain directly,

“Sir, I’m…please, sir, can I?”

“Can you what, soldier?” Price grunted through gritted teeth, testing his sergeant.

“Can I come, sir? Please, Cap…”

“Yeah, Johnny. C’mon, mate. Let her feel it.”

“F-fuck! Fuck…” Soap groaned, pushing himself flush against your asshole, pumping his come into you. 

He caught his breath while he was still in you, kissing the nape of your neck, and then he pulled away slowly. He helped Gaz replace him, holding your ass wide apart so his comrade could position himself inside. And just when you thought your poor pussy would have room to breathe, Gaz’s incredibly long shaft was piercing your hole again. 

You felt him sigh, his breath against your neck. He took over holding you up, and Price praised him,

“That’s it, Garrick. She’s all yours. Take it.”

Gaz reacted to his words in a way that made you rethink their entire dynamic. Then, you remembered how he had come when you said his name. He seemed to get harder and harder the more Price praised him, and you wanted to give him that same validation. 

“Gaz,” you whispered, leaning your head back to rest on his shoulder, “It’s so big, baby. It’s like I can feel you in my throat. Oh, Gaz. Gaz!”

“Mm,” Price put his mouth to your neck, groaning, “That’s it, love. Tell him how much you like that long cock.”

“So much, Gaz. It’s so good,” you added. 

Then, Price took his left hand and wrapped it around the back of Gaz’s neck in a moment of surprising intimacy. As Price kissed the front of your throat, Gaz kissed your shoulder and nape. You felt like a peeled fruit being shared between them, a ripped rind, your juicy flesh being split in two; two halves of a ripe orange. 

Gaz lasted longer than Soap had when he fucked your ass, but Price’s attention seemed to spur him on. His movements were slippery, and you could feel the remnants of Soap’s come frothing around your entrance, easing his efforts.

“Captain,” Gaz whined, desperate for more of that approval. 

“C’mon, Kyle. She’s ready for you. Good lad.”

The use of his first name made Gaz thrust up into you with a feverish pace. He cried out as he came, hard, into you. Feeling him fall back out of you made you imagine the tendrils of a giant kraken, seeming to travel forever just to remove himself from your body, slithering out of you with a terrible squelching noise. 

Gaz let Price hold you again, and you turned, expecting Ghost. Price laughed at you, chuckling softly,

“Missing your masked man already?”

You looked at Price, feeling raw and used, waiting for an explanation,

“He’s a little…preoccupied.”

Price laid you back on the table, letting you turn your head to see Ghost, buried in Soap’s asshole up to the hilt, furiously jacking him off, slamming into him a little too roughly for your liking. It was violent, but Soap seemed to be enjoying himself beyond measure. 

Your pussy, though, disagreed with your assessment, clenching around Price’s cock while you watched Simon abuse his friend’s hole. 

“Mm,” the captain moaned, feeling your muscles react, “You like that, love? You wanna be fucked rough like that?”

He didn’t give you a chance to answer. Price wrapped your legs beneath his chest in a full mating press and wrecked you, pounding into your body like a giant fist. You felt your bones shudder beneath his behemoth form. Just when you thought you might puke from how overstimulated you were, you felt him pause. Then, your pussy felt like it was leaking, and it was. Price’s come just kept milking its way out of you, his cock pulsing inside, making your walls throb. 

When he finished, he kissed you on the mouth, almost lovingly, reverently. He started to slide out of you, being extremely careful, and you’d never felt so empty in your entire life. It was as if you’d never be full again. You found yourself whining, whimpering for Price to return. 

“That’s right, pretty girl,” Price smiled, “Never gonna want anybody else, are ya?”

You smiled, shocked and in considerable discomfort. Gaz scooped you up off of the table, cradling you, sitting down with you in his lap in a large chair. He reached down for some water and handed it to you, helping you recover. 

Price was standing with his hands on his hips, panting from his exertion. Ghost and Soap were connected like two hounds, locked together, the Scot cock warming his tall lover, groaning on every exhale. 

“Well, what do you think, lads? Do we have a winner?” Price asked.

“Yeah, we fucking do, Cap,” Gaz pet your head, moving your sweaty hair out of your eyes. 

“Fuck yeah, mate,” Ghost growled, pawing at Johnny again, rabid for him. 

“Hear that, bonnie?” Soap managed to ask, still moaning in little breaths as he was being speared by Ghost, “Got  yourself a new permanent assignment.”

Price walked over to you, grabbing you by the face and kissing you once more,

“You belong to us now, love. Perfect little slut.”

AO3 Link

[quin-ns]

Eventually (Coriolanus Snow x Reader)

Word count: 6.7k

Summary: Coriolanus could appreciate irony, but the one person he desires more than anything wanting nothing to do with him pushes him to new territory

Tags: (18+), cw: noncon, dark!coriolanus, deeply implied stalker!coriolanus, unreliable narrator coriolanus (boy is delusional tbh, no one is doing more mental gymnastics than him), pre-mentor era, obsession, unprotected sex, choking (only for like a second), virginity status undisclosed but as I was writing I began to imagine this being the first time for both of them—it’s not even implied tho, so do with that what you will

A/N: a character as evil as him I couldn’t conceive writing fluff for. he’s bad and guess what I’m not gonna fix him, but I also can’t make him not-hot so… hehe. please read the tags and proceed with caution <3

hunger games masterlist

You wanted nothing to do with him, and that made him crazy.

No, if anything, you were the crazy one. Coriolanus hadn’t done anything but try to be your friend, but you snubbed him without reason.

Coriolanus did a good job at keeping the financial situation of his family a secret. No one knew, and he doubted you were an exception. Yet, it was as if you looked down upon him.

Although, you’d grown fond of Sejanus, so even if you did know, status wasn’t a concern of yours. It was something he admired, yet questioned all at once. There had to be a reason for your dismissal. A reason you couldn’t bring yourself to even offer a smile back. It’s not like he was asking a lot.

It’s not like he wasn’t trying, either. He’d gotten used to trying to make people like him, to see him as better than he was, but it was never this hard. It would’ve been so much simpler if you just told him to his face what your problem was, but whenever he came around, mostly when you were talking to Sejanus—they were friends, it was the perfect excuse—you just went quiet. You’d greet him, make no effort to continue the conversation, then excuse yourself.

All Coriolanus wanted to know was why.

“You’re watching her again,” Clemensia whispered to him, eyes flicking between him and the paper in front of her.

They were class partners, but Coriolanus was beginning to think he spent too much time with her.

“Who?”

Clemensia let out a small chuckle, mocking him. The professor at the front of the class looked up, and Coriolanus quickly looked down at his paper, taking his eyes off of you.

“You’re too obvious,” she muttered, a smirk in her voice. “Maybe that’s why she doesn’t like you. Because you stare at her too much.”

She didn’t get a response—it didn’t deserve one. Coriolanus questioned why he ever told her anything. She made him sound like some sort of stalker. Which, for the record, he was not.

His eyes managing to find you frequently wasn’t a crime, and neither was crossing your path. Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence most of the time, but it’s not as if he was harming you by watching you. He doubted you noticed anyway.

Seeing you nearly everyday had been enough to keep him sated, but then Sejanus started talking about you. Through no fault of his own, Coriolanus learned things about you. What he came to know made him curious to discover more. Even if you did not seem keen to let him.

Being content with what he had didn’t keep its appeal for long. Not when you were right there, your presence taunting him. Making him want what you would not let him have.

“You just need to talk to her, Coryo,” Tigris told him one evening, when he revealed everything to her. “Not in class and not with Sejanus. Just you. Let her know the real you and I promise she’ll like what she sees.”

Coriolanus took his cousin’s advice to heart. She was much more empathetic than him, she had to be onto something, right?

Everything changed when Coriolanus sat across from you at a study table in the library.

As beautiful as you were from a distance, being up close was something else entirely. He could admire you for hours and never get tired.

You looked up at him, he smiled and said hello just like Tigris advised. The smile you returned seemed forced, and you ignored that he had spoken.

It upset him, but not as much as when you got up and walked out. It was the last straw. Coriolanus was following you into the hall before he could think better of it.

He caught up to you, dropping his hand to your shoulder to make you turn around and face him. When you did, you looked surprised. That wasn’t what made Coriolanus hesitate, but the realization that he had never been this close to you before. Not even sitting across from you compared to touching you.

His heart skipped a beat.

“What do you want?” you questioned, a level of annoyance he thought to be unearned in your voice.

His heart started again.

“Have I done something to you?” Coriolanus confronted you, feeling a familiar sense of agitation creep over him. He had to know. “To make you feel such distaste for me?”

“I don’t dislike you, Coriolanus,” you replied, calmly after recovering from your initial shock. “I’m just… indifferent to you.”

The answer confused him more than it did enrage him. He smothered the latter feeling as he observed you.

“You’re… indifferent,” he stated, not asking. His feet shifted beneath him. It hurt, for some reason. “Why?”

Your eyes narrowed ever so slightly, studying him. It was the same way you’d look at your books when you were struggling with a subject, lingering behind in class or the library until a triumphant smile crossed your face.

Only, that smile never came. Your expression just faded back to normal.

“You shouldn’t put so much weight on what other people think of you,” you advised, stepping closer to him. His breath caught in his chest. You smelled sweet, like flowers. “Especially not someone you don’t even know.”

It was then, he realized, you hadn’t moved closer to him with purpose. You’d been on your way moving past him. His eyes focused on your back as you walked away, figuring out what to say.

“I’d like to know you,” he announced earnestly, verbally trying to pull you back. “If you’d only give me a chance.”

You slowed to a stop, looking over your shoulder. Coriolanus felt as if he was on display as your eyes raked over him, determining for yourself his sincerity.

“You’re friends with Sejanus, aren’t you?” you wondered. It wasn’t what he expected, but Coriolanus nodded. You sighed, which irked him to think it was pity. “If you’d like to join us for lunch I wouldn’t be against that.”

“I’ll see you then,” he said, but you were already turning away. He kept to himself that he had already tried in the past.

His friend was nice. Too nice for his own good, truthfully. It wasn’t as if Sejanus completely abandoned him the moment he befriended you. It was more like he split his time, attending to both friendships. The only thing Coriolanus held against him was that he never tried to reintroduce the two of you. Maybe even put in a good word.

At lunch Coriolanus found you and Sejanus quickly, he knew where you liked to sit.

“Hey, Coryo,” Sejanus greeted, smiling. “About time you decided to join us.”

Coriolanus put on a smile as he sat down. “Well, I would’ve sooner, but I wasn’t sure I was welcome before.”

The comment made you smirk, in on the joke as Coriolanus looked at you.

“Who’s to say you are now?” you sarcastically replied, as if you hadn’t been the one to invite him.

Well, “invite” was being generous, but he still seized the opportunity nonetheless.

“Ignore her, she can’t help herself,” Sejanus said with a chuckle, used to your humor.

This time, when he tried to talk to you, you engaged. In between discussions of classes and assignments, Coriolanus had to dodge your quick wit.

He liked the challenge, and the next day, he went back for more. Even walked right past Clemanisa and Arachne, who tried to invite him to their table with Festus. You were waiting for him.

He noticed you and Sejanus already talking.

When he sat across from you, you raised your brows. “Seeking refuge?”

Before he could ask what you meant, you nodded your head towards the girls he’d left behind.

You knew about his friends?

“You could call it that,” he replied, a smile starting to appear.

You nodded and hummed.

“Well, what are your qualifications?”

“Excuse me?”

“You joke too much, Y/N,” Sejanus lightly scolded you, interrupting whatever path you were going down, which made you laugh. “He’s going to think you don’t like him.”

“He knows I don’t mean anything by it,” you assured, looking at Coriolanus. “I’m just trying to figure him out.”

Your tone was filled with confidence, but your face… Coriolanus wasn’t sure how to place your underlying expression. You had a shield up, he knew that much, but what did that have to do with him? Were you trying to figure out if you could let it down for him? Or something else?

“Of course,” Coriolanus answered, not taking his eyes off of you. “I’m an open book.”

“Are you, now?” You folded your arms on the table. “Your friends love to gossip, and I don’t think I’ve heard that about you.”

“It’s not my fault if they don’t know how to read,” Coriolanus quipped, proud of himself for being so quick.

None of his friends had wronged him, but the joke at their expense was worth it for what followed after.

He made you laugh. Not just smile, but truly laugh. It was exactly what he wanted, and it actually worked. Awe didn't begin to describe how it felt.

Joining your table for lunch became the best part of his day. Sometimes he forgot Sejanus was even there, far too eager to see you. He saw you all the time, of course. Watching you was a habit he had yet to break, but this was different. You were aware of his presence, and he was able to speak to you. It didn’t matter that you still seemed weary, it was enough.

Even if you didn’t like him, you still had conversations with him, so that was something.

Sometimes, if you were deep in a discussion, debating ethics—your favorite topic—it would continue beyond just the table. He’d walk you to class, wanting to hear your voice just a second longer.

“I want to meet this girl,” His grandmother declared one night, after Coriolanus drifted to the topic of you over dinner. He’d been doing it more recently.

Tigris gave him a look, a light frown. There was no way to do that without you coming to his home, and he wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Let Coryo decide that, Grandma‘am,” Tigris insisted, patting the older woman’s shoulder.

“Well, he has feelings for Y/N,” she argued, looking at Coriolanus. He used your name enough that she remembered it. “And she likes him too—doesn’t she?”

Coriolanus gave a tight smile. “Yes, she does.”

Keeping up appearances.

“Well, that settles it, then,” Grandma‘am decided.

“I think it’s time you get to bed,” Tigris intervened, getting their grandmother up from her chair.

Later, when they were alone, Tigris asked him, “Does she even know how you feel about her?” She knew him too well. He took too long to answer. “You should tell her. From what you’ve told us, you two should be together. But it won’t happen unless you make it known how you feel.”

Coriolanus’s dreams were filled with you, as they usually were, but something was different the morning he woke up after the conversation with Tigris.

All he had to do was prove himself to you, and he knew that now.

Coriolanus found you in the library a lot, often pretending to stumble upon you. This time, he didn’t put on a facade.

“I thought I’d find you here,” he acknowledged, sitting down beside you. Often he’d sit across, but he was testing the waters. Seeing if you were put off by the proximity. “Studying for Featherly’s class?”

“I’m terrified for his test,” you confided, rubbing your temples as you hunched down at your book. “I feel like my mind has no room for anything else. I’ve memorized nothing.”

With a sigh, you sat up and pushed the book away.

“I can help you,” Coriolanus insisted, reaching for the book. He read over the page you were on, knowing he’d already perfected the subject. “You should’ve asked for me sooner.”

Maybe it was a little spiteful, but he hadn’t purposely meant it to come out that way. You still noticed it, taking your book back.

“I’m not asking for your help now, Coriolanus,” you muttered, looking at him out of the corner of your eye.

You were the last of his friends to still call him that. Most everyone else called him ‘Coryo’. Not you. But you were stubborn in many ways. This too, apparently.

“I didn’t mean anything against you,” he said lightly, even chuckling a little. It was forced, but he wanted to show he wasn’t being that serious.

Using your own words on you did not have the desired effect.

“Mmmhmmm,” you hummed.

Coriolanus tilted his head down, trying to get you to meet his gaze. You gave in, facing him, looking unamused.

He wanted to wipe that look away, but didn’t know how. If he could just make you like him—

Suddenly, your watch began to beep.

“Test time,” you grumbled, taking back your book and getting up.

Coriolanus followed you down the hall and into class. The tests were already on the desks, waiting. You two were early—he noticed that because of the clock on the wall.

He walked you to your seat and wished you good luck. To his surprise, you offered the same in return. Then, he went to his own. Other students filed in quickly after, professor Featherly being the last to enter the room.

The professor declared, “Begin,” then sat at his desk in the middle of the room and began to read.

The test wasn’t easy, but Coriolanus knew what he was doing. One look around the classroom and he saw that wasn’t the case for most other students. He felt a sense of pride, until his gaze landed on you. You were one row down and four seats to the left. He’d counted before. You were fiddling with your pencil, struggling to come up with what to write down.

While he could’ve been the first to finish, Coriolanus let other students turn their tests in before him. An hour passed by, but it moved quickly.

There were only a few students left when you finally got up. You radiated an anxious energy, much like the others, but Coriolanus didn’t care about the others.

Clemensia stuck her hand up in the air, waiting for the professor to notice her, distracting Coriolanus briefly. When the professor looked up and noticed her, Clemansia got her wish.

Coriolanus considered himself lucky, convincing himself with his own mantra frequently. As he watched you leave your test on Featherly’s desk and rush from the room, he realized how he could help you.

He quickly marked down the rest of his answers, having stalled so he could leave when you did. The professor was making his way away from the desk, while Coriolanus got up and went in the opposite direction.

With a swift, hard kick to the leg, the professor's desk wobbled and papers spilled off on the other side. It looked like an accident.

Featherly looked over his shoulder at the noise.

“Sorry,” Coriolanus apologized, kneeling down behind the desk to collect the papers.

Without anyone watching, he found your test. He had no time to change the written questions, but he made quick work of erasing and re-doing the multiple choice, with his own test and knowledge as reference.

He had to give you credit for getting a decent amount correct, but not enough for a passing grade.

When Coriolanus fixed that, he stacked together the papers and placed them back on the desk and exited.

Everyone was waiting in the hall. Against tradition, the professor graded tests directly after and would call students in to give the results. It was time consuming, and kept everyone on campus after hours, which was against the rules, but perhaps he’d gotten some kind of exception.

You were leaning against the wall opposite of the classroom, talking to some girl from the class—Coriolanus didn’t bother to learn her name. He wanted to go to you, but Sejanus got to him first instead.

“How do you think you did?”

Coriolanus shrugged, looking down at his friend. “Fine, I think.” That was the humble answer, right? “How about you?”

“Not perfect, but I passed.”

Clemensia trotted out then, a confident look on her face.

“What was so important you had to ask during the test?” Coriolanus couldn’t help but wonder. She’d unknowingly helped him, after all.

“Just clarity on a question, wanted to make sure I got it right,” she answered with ease.

“And did you?”

She gave Sejanus a look.

“Yes, of course.”

The last person exited the class, and professor Featherly closed the door. And so the grading began.

One by one, the professor called people in. There was no method to the order, it seemed likely he shuffled the papers or chose which one to grade next at random.

Time passed, Coriolanus didn’t know how much exactly, but it was beginning to get dark outside. Tigris would be worried until he got home, but she’d understand. His studies came first.

Eventually, Coriolanus realized it was dwindling down to be just you and him left. He was lucky today.

The third to last student was in the classroom, leaving you across the hall from one another.

You pressed your lips together before speaking.

“Do you think you did alright?”

The corner of Coriolanus’s lip twitched up at the sound of your voice.

“Yes, I think so,” he answered humbly. “What about you?”

You let out a self deprecating laugh. “When I said I was terrified, I wasn’t being dramatic.” You sighed, accepting your fate. “I’ll have to do perfect on the next one, I guess.”

“I can help you with that,” Coriolanus offered.

The smile he gave you spawned a mirror reaction. He knew he was charming, he had to be, and this time you actually seemed receptive to it.

“Maybe you can.”

The sound of a door opening made Coriolanus turn. Arachne was leaving, a smug look on her face as she thanked the professor.

Then the door closed, and the professor graded another test. There were only two left.

“I wish he wouldn’t do it like this,” you filled the silence. “The others don’t make us wait like this.”

“It builds suspense, I suppose,” Coriolanus mused. “Keeps us on our toes.”

“That’s not something I need right now.”

“At least you have good company,” he noted flirtatiously. He couldn’t help but grin at his own words, especially when you bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling.

“Could be worse, I supposed,” you retorted.

More time passed. The door opened again.

“Coriolanus Snow,” the professor addressed him next. “Your turn.”

As expected, Coriolanus did close to perfect. One answer off. Best in the class.

Back in the hallway, when he was done, Coriolanus waited with you. He didn’t announce he was staying, he just returned to his spot against the wall.

“Don’t keep a girl waiting. How did you do?” you asked, departing from the wall.

Coriolanus wondered where you were going, but then, you stood next to him, leaning back against the wall. There was still an arms length between the two of you, but it was something. You’d gone to him for once.

“You’ll think I’m full of myself if I tell you,” he teased lightly, which made you roll your eyes.

“Maybe I already think that, so just tell me,” you insisted.

The comment made him falter.

“Best in the class,” he divulged.

You almost looked impressed. “Good for you.”

The door opened.

“Y/N L/N, you’re up.”

“Wish me luck,” you said under your breath before following Featherly in.

“Good luck.”

Coriolanus waited for you, just like before. He tapped his foot. The professor didn’t actually go over the answers, he just told you the grade. You’d have no way of knowing what he did for you, but he’d be there to share in your excitement when you discovered how well you’d done.

Or, how well he’d done for you.

Not long later, you and the professor exited the class together.

“Wasn’t expecting you to still be here,” Featherly addressed Coriolanus. “You should get going. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

Then, he left you and Coriolanus alone in the hall, presumably leaving the building.

“So,” Coriolanus began with a smile. “How did you do?”

“He asked if I’d been studying with you. Apparently we had all the same answers,” you told him, crossing your arms. “Except when I asked him to show me my exam—which I did great on, apparently—I saw answers circled that weren’t mine.”

Coriolanus hadn’t expected you to find out so quickly, but a part of him was relieved you did. It meant he got to take credit, and he could show you that he really did want the best for you.

Or, he could always lie.

“You weren scared of failing,” he finally admitted. He offered a sympathetic smile. “So I helped.”

“No, you cheated!” you accused, causing his eyes to go wide. “You’ve implicated us both. If anyone finds out…”

“Don’t be so loud,” he hissed out in a whisper, stepping closer to you. The professor could still be in the building. He doubted anyone else would be. “I just wanted to help you, okay? You needed it, so I—“

“You helped, I get it. But I didn’t ask you to do that for me, Coriolanus. I have never asked you to do anything for me,” you sneered, somewhere between offended and betrayed.

He saw the way you scanned his face—his eyes. The pleading was beginning to seep through.

A wave of realization washed over you before he even opened his mouth.

“You didn’t have to ask me to,” Coriolanus said meaningfully, stepping closer to you. “I wanted to. I wanted to help you.”

You back hit the wall. The hallway was so empty it seemed as if the subtle sound still echoed.

“I’d do anything for you, don’t you get that?”

The sound of a large door closing carried from a distance.

Coriolanus reached for your face, wishing he could take away the concern that riddled your expression. Instead, he brushed a stray piece of hair from your face.

You swallowed. Why did you look so nervous around him? You were friends now, weren’t you? You never looked scared around anyone else. Why him? Why now? His own questions frustrated him.

“We’re not supposed to be on campus after hours,” you said calmly. It was the same tone you used when you first described your indifference to him. Coriolanus thought about that moment a lot. “Featherly already left. We should leave before we get caught.”

The corners of his lips twitched down.

“We’re still talking, though, aren’t we?”

You let out a shallow breath. You had no reason to look as scared as you did.

“I think we’re done.”

Coriolanus thought back to his cousin’s advice. He could’ve followed it better if she’d written it down, perchance.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Coriolanus pondered, smiling to himself at the sight of you. “You caught my eye from the beginning and I—I couldn’t figure out why you wanted nothing to do with me.” You watched him carefully. He wondered if you could sense the dejectedness brewing. “Did you see something in me? Is that it?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted under your breath. “People like you, and you’ve been making an effort to be my friend, so I don’t know what told me to stay away from you, but something did. I’ve tried to ignore it, but I still…” you swallowed. “I don’t know.”

The confession should’ve been a relief. That’s what he imagined it would be. That you would admit the truth, and he could fix whatever misconceptions you had.

Coriolanus did not know what to do with “I don’t know”.

Staring down at you, Coriolanus noticed your back was against the wall. Literally. He hadn’t meant to put you there, but he had.

It got you to listen, didn’t it? He’d gotten an answer?

“Can we start over?” Coriolanus suggested, even throwing in a smile that would charm most anyone. It worked on you before. “We can forget all this mess.”

You blinked. You didn’t believe him.

For most people, he wouldn’t simply let numerous slights go, but for you, if it would fix whatever this was, if it meant the two of you could have a real chance, then he’d overcome his instincts—old and new.

“I’m afraid my memory is too good for that,” you finally said, looking up at him with defiance.

Defying what, was the question. It wasn’t as if you were enemies.

The thought made his jaw clench. He let out a laugh that was sharp. It lacked any sense of humor.

“Why can’t you just accept my apology?”

Your brows arched up, questioning him.

“That was supposed to be an apology?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “But it’s not as if I owe you one.”

“I never said you did. I never said anything. You took it upon yourself to insert yourself into my life and now you are not happy with your place in it. You’ve overstepped, and you need to let me leave.”

Coriolanus frowned.

“You act like I’m keeping you here by force.”

You look up at him, silently telling him you believed he was.

That frustrated him further.

In an act that jarred even him, Coriolanus pressed his palms against your shoulders and pushed you back against the wall when you tried to move away.

“This is force,” he declared sternly, leaning down, making you maintain his gaze.

Everyone liked control, but he hadn’t used it in such a physical way before. It thrilled him in an odd way.

“Get your hands off me.”

“Why should I? You already think so poorly of me, why not let you be right?”

You moved again then, trying to catch him off guard and squirm away. But Coriolanus was quick to shove you back against the wall.

“We can still start over. If you would give me a chance, I think we can be good together.”

He let one hand rise to rest on your cheek. Your skin was so smooth. He inhaled deeply, resolve slipping further as his eyes fell to your lips.

If Coriolanus could just prove it to you, he was sure you’d understand what he meant.

He leaned in cautiously, gauging your reaction. You didn’t flinch away. You tilted your chin up, even. That familiar skip of his heart returned.

Coriolanus’s lips only just brushed against yours before you reacted. He had a second of relief before you brought your knee up, jabbing him in the lower stomach, although he doubted that was where you were aiming. It was still enough of a shock to throw him off his game. He stumbled back, and in a flash, you were gone. You were running down the hall—trying to get away from him, like usual.

Only this time, he didn’t feel like letting you go.

Something he had slowly come to learn was when he wanted something, it wasn’t just going to be handed to him. Vying for the Plinth Prize highlighted that, alongside his childhood.

He caught you easily, hand snapping out like a snake to grip your arm and yank you back to him. You collided with his chest. It was like you weren’t even trying. Not really. Just toying with him.

“Am I a game to you?” Coriolanus hissed into your ear, wrapping you in his arms. “Something for you to play?”

“I haven’t done anything to you! I hardly even know you!” you defended, but it just made him hold you tighter.

“I know you,” he implored, fighting against your squirming. He lost balance and when you fell to the ground, you took him with you. Coriolanus got you onto your back, sitting on your thighs, gripping your wrists in his hands to keep you from swinging at him. You let out panicked breaths, staring up at him. “I know more than you think.”

Something about the position made the front of his pants begin to feel constricting.

“Coriolanus, you’re frightening me,” you enunciated, as if trying to reason with him.

“I’m not being unreasonable,” Coriolanus grit out, working to maintain his composure.

“What?” you questioned, brows pinching together, a deep frown on your face. Confused and scared. Coriolanus used to feel that way. “Just let me go.”

“And then what? You go back to ignoring me? No I can’t… I can’t go back to that. If you just give me a chance I can show you.”

Coriolanus didn’t know what happened next.

Tigris told him it was like he left his own head, sometimes. She said he’d get so caught up, he wouldn’t notice things. At the time he had laughed. If anyone stayed aware, it was him.

It wasn’t that he left his head, but got lost in it. Lost in his own inner monologue to realize what he was doing.

In this case, what he’d done.

Far too busy thinking of ways to convey everything he wanted to say to you, how to make you understand, visualizing your reaction, he’d already acted.

Maybe there were two people living in his mind. One with a conscience, one without. Or perhaps that was just something he used to justify his less than decent actions. An excuse. He’d never let himself know the truth. Not really. Not yet.

What he did know was what he could see. You, beneath him, clothes torn from your body. The only thing left was a shirt. Too much effort, apparently. Your wrists were snatched together in one of his hands.

The power stirred something within him.

One might say he was out of excuses when he reached for the zipper of his pants, but no one else was here, were they?

Your mouth was moving. Speaking. Maybe even yelling. Looking at him, looking around the room. He couldn’t hear a sound but his own heart thumping in his ears paired with his own eager breaths. Was that normal?

He moved, wedging himself between your legs, nudging them apart to make room for himself.

“It’s just us,” Coriolanus spoke, loud enough to hear himself. You flinched. “No one’s here.”

He gripped himself, stroking his cock, lining himself up with your entrance. His patience was running incredibly thin.

Tears pricked in your eyes. You stopped struggling at his words, accepting it for what it was. Good.

“Why are you doing this?”

He heard your voice clearly, that time, despite the strain in your tone.

Coriolanus observed you carefully, squeezing your wrists together in one hand and lovingly caressing your hip with the other.

He finally understood the answer you’d given before. He found it fitting now.

“I don’t know.”

To him, it was the truth.

The moment Coriolanus pressed himself inside of you, it was as if the rest of the world disappeared. After so long of wanting you in every way, shape, or form, this was long overdue.

“You’re perfect for me,” he breathed out. Coriolanus gave a shove of his hips, his gaze falling to your mouth as an unwilling yelp slipped out. “I knew you would be.”

You were tight, too tight, even. Unwelcoming. Yet still, you felt like home.

His hand—the one that was on your hip—drifted between your legs. He found your clit, running his thumb in small circles, trying to ease the pressure you must’ve been feeling.

Coriolanus did not want to hurt you.

He looked into unfocused eyes. Where were you? Were you trying to be somewhere else?

He let your hands go. You didn’t move to slap him or shove him or anything. You were learning.

He leaned over you more, reaching for you face with his now free hand, and ran his thumb over your cheek, encouraging your gaze to actually meet his. He smiled softly when you did. You got more beautiful every second he looked at you. It was even better when he could see you were present.

Coriolanus found himself unable to resist it, so he gave into the urge to press his lips to yours. A real kiss, this time.

Your lips were softer than he’d imagined. You made a noise when his tongue tasted your mouth. His kiss was hungry—aggressive, even. But he’d waited so long he didn’t know how to contain himself.

Your body reacted to his touch. Your bent knees inched up his hips to accommodate him, and your walls were becoming slick, accepting the invasion.

A deep moan escaped him, cock throbbing inside you at the feel. The sound was muffled by his lips pressed to yours, but he still felt vulnerable, giving himself to you in this way.

Coriolanus pulled back from the kiss, only to rest his forehead against yours and breathe out a small puff of air from his lips.

“I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. Not even the Plinth Prize,” he confessed in a whisper.

“What’s the difference?” You finally spoke, voice wavering. “You have to earn the prize?” The accusing tone felt like a slap.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Coriolanus muttered, eyes boring into yours. “You’ll see.”

He gave you one more searing kiss before moving his hips.

A gasp that morphed into a moan clawed its way up your throat. The sound was like music to his ears. He wanted to hear it again.

He began to move more consistently, finding a pace that suited him. Rough enough to keep you present, but not so harsh as to hurt you. He wanted you to enjoy yourself, even if you were trying to avoid it.

Still figuring you out, Coriolanus found your sweet spot with a hard thrust, causing you to wince. Instinctively, you tried to push him away, just like you had before, not wanting to surrender.

You stilled when you felt his hand. He hardly realized how he’d reacted until he felt your throat bob beneath his palm.

Coriolanus retracted his hand, like your skin and shot a volt through him. His movements slowed to a stop.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized earnestly, brushing the hand through your hair gently. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Your chest heaved as you breathed shaky breaths through your nose. Your lips pressed together in a line.

You weren’t going to dignify him with a response. In a way, he understood.

Coriolanus locked his arms under your body and in a surge of strength, pulled you from the ground and into his lap. He hugged you against him, nuzzling his face into your neck.

“Forgive me,” he requested softly.

You shifted in his lap, adjusting yourself to find comfort in the new position. You did not speak.

He slammed his hips up, forcing a gasp from your lips. That was something, wasn’t it?

You pulled back, and he did it again. And again. And again.

You fell against him, jarred by the change in his movements as he thrust into you. He liked it, feeling you in his lap, your chest against his, leaving you no choice but to hold onto him.

His lips latched onto the skin of your neck as he moved, barring his teeth and nipping the skin. You reacted as if he were venomous, straining away from him, but he’d left his mark.

You could pretend all you wanted that you didn’t like him, but Coriolanus could feel your body reacting to his. He could feel the way your walls squeezed around him, drawing him in, and how your body quivered as he pushed you closer to your edge.

“Just let go,” Coriolanus whispered, holding you tighter. He cradled the back of your head against him as he moved inside of you. Soothing and rough at the same time. “It’s okay, I know you want to.”

“Shut up,” you hissed into his neck, hands finding his chest.

Were you really going to try and get away from him? It was a bit late for that.

Coriolanus moved his hand between your bodies, finding your clit with the pad of his thumb, speeding along the process.

“What was that?” he taunted, feeling your legs start to shake.

A moan tore from your throat as you came around him, body slumping against his as he shoved himself deeper inside you. He wanted to feel your body tensed around him.

“That’s it,” he drawled, pressing his face to the side of your head. He inhaled, letting your scent flood him. Every sense was overwhelmed by you and if anything, it made him hunger for even more.

You became more pliable in your daze, going easily when Coriolanus laid you back down on the cold ground. He planted one hand on the ground near your head, where he held most of his weight, while the other rested on the base of your neck. Not squeezing, just resting. Reminding you of before.

Now that he’d taken care of you, made you realize the pleasure he could inflict upon you, it was his turn. Coriolanus was relentless with the thrust of his cock inside you, stretching you around him, groaning with nearly every movement. You felt so good, he never wanted to leave the warmth of your body.

You shifted beneath him, squirming as the intense feeling. Coriolanus was tempted to drag it out, to watch your face as the pleasure became too much for you to handle.

If it wasn’t for the desire to fill you, to claim you, he would’ve. There would be more times after this, he’d ensure it. He didn’t own a lot, but he treasured the things that he did.

“I can’t let you go, not now.” He meant to keep it inside his head, but the words spilled out. “You’re the only thing I want.”

At that moment, it was true.

Coriolanus gave one final shove of his hips before spilling inside of you. It crashed over him in an unexpected wave. His whole body shivered with pleasure at the feel of your body milking him. You wanted him. Your denial would eventually fade. He was sure of it.

Coriolanus let out a heavy sigh of your name as he watched your face. You’d turned your head, wincing as he filled you to the brim.

“Hey,” Coriolanus said when he finished, voice low. He ran a delicate hand over your face, persuading you to open your eyes. “We’re okay.”

As much as he didn’t want to, Coriolanus withdrew from you. You’d given up fighting against him, so he took the opportunity to help you redress. You were so pliant, it was like dressing a doll.

You rested your arms on your knees when he made you sit up. He wasn’t keeping you from moving from the floor, you chose not to.

Coriolanus watched you cautiously, searching for the same fire in you before, trying to figure out if he’d somehow snuffed it out.

There was a nagging in his gut. It was only for a brief second, but his confidence wavered.

“Can you talk to me?” he pressed, laying a hand on your shoulder and he knelt across from you, pants readjusted.

It was as if nothing happened, but you both knew that was untrue.

“Why should I?” You wrinkled your nose as you focused on the ground.

“Because, I care about you,” Coriolanus replied without thought, gaze softening. “I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I don’t think you care for me,” you said in a tone so hushed, Coriolanus wasn’t sure if you even meant for him to hear. Then, you met his eyes. The fire had only been dulled, not put out. “I think you’re a liar, Coriolanus Snow.”

His hands fell to clasp yours. He brought one to his lips, pressing a small kiss to the back of your palm. You eyed him as if he were some sort of predator, but he managed a smile nonetheless.

“Let me prove it to you, and you’ll come to learn you’ve been wrong about me all along.”

[waughymommy]

Diaper Discipline Guide

Emma & Henry

My boyfriend of 4 years has always had regressive and sub tendencies while I’ve wanted to talk more control in our relationship. We tried several bdsm activities including smacking and bondage but the occasional nature wasn’t really doing it for me.

After finding out more online about Female Led Relationships I came across DD, initially dismissing it. But the more I read, the better and better the idea appealed to me. After some planning I decided to confront my partner and say I wanted to add an element of control and domination into our relationship, by saying I hadn’t decided how to do it yet we had a long discussion without diapers being mentioned where he agreed in principle to “lifestyle dominance” as long as it could be kept between them and not impact his job, friends, etc. 

This guide was invaluable to me to plan the rest and it solidified my decision. It took me two weeks to discreetly buy the required supplies, getting them delivered to our apartment on days he was at work. I decided that I wanted a high initial level of DD where he’d be in diapers 24/7 at home.

I decided to start on a Friday night after work. He’d known that I had been preparing for something and I started the conversation by saying my proposal was weird, reassuring him that it wouldn’t be painful/harmful and nobody else would find out but you wanted him to agree to try it for at least 6 weeks.

Although nervous he also seemed excited by the prospect and agreed. We moved to the bedroom where I told him to get undressed before I diapered him for the first time. There was a lot of objections at this stage but I talked him round and the agreement to try it for 6 weeks was helpful.

To make the shock less I started with a medical diaper which wasn’t too thick and let him wear his normal pjs over it. I left him to explore it on his own while going to make dinner. After dinner it was time to tell him all the rules, the main one was that the toilet at home was now banned and he’d be in diapers whenever he’s at home. I kept the baby elements to a minimum and said he’s have to also wear out the house sometimes but I’d make sure nobody could tell and never when he’s at work or with friends/family. I’m not going to lie and say this didn’t involve an argument, especially when he realised that no toilet meant #2 as well but we got through. We ended up watching a movie which was a good way for him to calm down.

He wet his diaper for the first time after the movie which was funny to watch as he was so nervous it was going to leak everywhere. Even though it wasn’t too wet I did change him straight away and made his change extra special too. That night he slept in a diaper for the first time.

Over the first weekend he did get more used to wearing and I allowed him to use the toilet for a bm on Saturday. Sunday however I decided to fully enforce the rules and he messed himself for the first time. I didn’t change him this time and he took a shower. There was a lot of protests again but I said it was none-negotiable. The smell did seem to be the biggest thing that bothered him so I bought some Devrom tablets which had been recommended, it took a few days for them to arrive and a few more of taking them but now his messy diapers hardly smell and the protests have stopped. I’d actually recommend you use these from day 1 to make the transition easier.

The first week was tough but we got through it and I’m happy to say we’re now 7 months in to him being in DD. Over that time I’ve moved to thicker abdl diapers, he wears onesies regularly around the house and the toilet has remained unused by him with only a few exceptions.

We both work mainly from home so I’ve gotten used to checking and changing his diaper but thick diapers + devrom has meant he generally only needs a change after waking up, sometime in the early afternoon and before bed. I’ll also let him change himself if I’m busy or cba. 

The best news is after an initial rocky patch, our relationship feels stronger than ever! He proposed to me 5 months in and I can’t see his DD ending any time soon. I’ve increased elements overtime and now the toilet is banned even when out of the house together. Public wearing did take him a while to get used to but actually it’s easy. 

I’m sure DD is not for everyone and is much more involved and hard work than other lifestyle changes but for creating a caring bond between you and your partner I’ve found it to be great!