#But you chipping away at that bitch everyday

[harmcityherald]

To save from having shouting matches I sit and listen to conspiracy bullshit from one of my right leaning youngers. I just sit and listen, maybe shake my head here and there. Ask me directly if I think any of this nonsense coming out of your mouth is real. Go on. I dare you. But you won't do that and I'm above having a fistfight because you believe Biden killed Anthony Bourdain and you wanna defend diddy and weinstien, because of course, they are the heroes that are next on the unalive list. What an absolute pop tart.

Since 2016, I have truly heard some of the most stupid conspiracy theories I've ever heard, I'm not talking about reading about it, I'm talking about right here and now and completely in my face. I can not fathom the absolute shit I hear and they believe. Looking at you, I see exactly what they want. An idiot ready to run off and do their bidding. They are laughing at you at the same time. I thought I raised you better than that.

Its not just stupid. Its industrial stupid. Like, I have just one question for you. If the orange leader of your white power cult told you to kill yourself........ Would you?

The fact that question occurs to me should speak volumes.

You were afraid to look at the eclipse. Jewish space lasers. The moon is hollow. The ananuki. (or however you spell that lunacy.) You break out in a sweat when you talk to me. That crap has you gripped so deeply I don't know if I'm going to be able to reach you again. You are jack black in mars attacks. (just let that sink in for a minute.)

I wish you would just revert to your old self, You know the one who never read a book? Because I'm here to tell you that whatever you're reading is twisting your melon. Yeah. I miss that guy. So do your kids. I mean sure you didn't read, but your heart seemed in the right place. Now? You're a pop tart.

Pop tarts for trump.

[vanillaboyfriend]

that edit is doing better than i expected :) yippee

[im-yn-suckers]

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.biker bf niki x passenger gf ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚ genre; fluff ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚. warnings; kissing, hugs, motorcycle, late night, gross men sexualizing women but dw theres a plot, erm idk it gets a little cringe at the end but atp wtvvvv ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚. mia says: guys im backkkkk

you are currently in a classroom at 5:28 pm, stuco has been making you come out of school which makes you feel really bad for your bf who waits for you everyday. you walk out of the building with eunchae, your bff. 'ooh y/n look' she points at niki leaning against his all black ducati streetfighter on his phone 'shut up chae' 'bye babyyy c ya tmw! love ya!' 'bye chae chae love you too'

'hi angel, ready to head home' he asks handing you your baby pink helmet. 'mhm all set' you sit on the back of his bike and hold his waist. he speed off into the evening and tells you smth 'princess, we may need to take a little detour, i need gas' 'ok baby'

you guys drive to the gas station and he parks. 'angel do you want something' 'chips!! please' 'ok' he walks into the stations store and buys you your favorite chips.

'ay what that mouth do' you look up, no one 'bent over in nike pros and a white tank top' you look up again and see a man lookking at you 'leave me alone please' 'not until i found out what that mouth do'

niki walks out of the store and walks up behind you. the man is immediatley intimidated and runs away.

'angel and you ok?' 'mhm' you answer with glossy eyes. 'its ok princess im here, c'mon leets go home' you only nod and out your helmet back on.

you guys drivr home and fall asleep in each others arms. riki thinks to himself. 'that bitch, cant believe he said that' and he falls asleep with a grudge

[themotherofhorses]

Hi author first of wanted to say I love your work !

I'm not sure if you take requests so if you don't feel free to delete this 💛

Modern spy Aemond x naive reader [ Aemond meets her when he's on a mission and becomes obsessed with her how can someone be so sweet and innocent !? He just has to have her also baby trapping and smut if you're comfortable writing it ]

follow me now, and you will not regret (leaving the life you led before we met)

pairing: modern spy!aemond targaryen x naive!reader

warnings: explicit language. stalking. very much nsfw smut. once again, aemond is an obsessive and pussywhipped little bitch with zero thoughts within his pretty knocker. manipulation. innocence kink. breeding kink/baby trapping at the end.

notes: hi, yes, this is me coursing through uncharted and absolutely fucking rough waters in some attempt to spice up my usual smut writing style

(aka me practicing for the next chapter of my modern series)

masterlist

A career life built solely around espionage (or a sort of black shadow warfare mixed with cold combat) came dirty, bloody, and uncertain.

Or, at least, that was what Aemond “The One-Eyed White Death” Targaryen would tell himself on the daily, in some attempt at justifying the ends to the means. Really, this entire situation could have been a lot worse, he thought- after all, the lives of countless innocent civilians could have been caught within his crosshairs. He hated when that happened; it was always so messy, and came with heavy and boring paperwork.

However, that was not the case this time, thankfully.

It was only one innocent civilian in his hands, and she was still safe and sound.

Aemond had never meant to stick around the city for so long, having other missions queued up after this one, but fuck…you were perfect. Godsent, the prettiest and most delicious slice of heaven above, and he did not consider himself a godly man, nowhere near in the slightest. The gods loathed his type, he knew, and never hesitated in casting them all down to the pits of hell.

But you…

He had met you during the mission, while stuck undercover at some random little café on the corner street. The boss sent him to stake out some old-money and big-named crime mobster that was allegedly dealing weapons and various drugs under the noses of local law enforcement, a suspect on their “Most Wanted” board. And you- well, you were tucked away in a small booth, hunched over two thick college textbooks while multiple paper assignments laid strewed across the table top, so unaware of his presence sitting tables away on the other side of the room.

Gods, you were absolutely gorgeous, he thought. So fucking pretty, with those eyelashes and charm bracelet and focused look on your face. It made him forget all about his original mission. Fuck that, he has a new one now. And there was the cutest pout on your pink and glossy lips that made his cock harden, despite not having the faintest clue on what your name could be.

(That itself was no concern of his, he could find it out later in the evening. And he eventually did.)

You were there at the café the following day, and the day after that. Always with your head in those damn school books, his pretty and dutiful schoolgirl. The sight made him chuckle, and smile, and fill with the strongest urge to ruin you completely with his mouth, and fingers, and cock. On the fifth day, he finally decided to step up to your table, interrupting your usual study schedule with a shy smile and your favorite drink in hand, as well as a chocolate chip cookie.

“I- uh, I hope you don’t mind, miss,” he said, feigning bashfulness, “but I’ve seen you around everyday for this past week and thought, maybe, you wouldn’t mind being friends? I’m new in town, actually…and- well, I don’t know a lot of people around here…” he added, watching your pretty eyes widen.

And, fuck, your lips were glossy again, and he stood there (like a complete idiot) wondering what flavor they could possibly taste like.

Cherries?

Strawberries? Blueberries?

Maybe mimosa or peppermint patties?

“Oh, well, of course! I don’t mind whatsoever,” you replied cheerfully, rousing butterflies in Aemond’s stomach. “I’d be happy to be your friend,” and you patted at the spot next to yours, slugging away your tote bag and books so that he could sit down, and you could introduce yourself.

Hook, line, and sinker.

Aemond became your friend, first. The easiest way to manipulate your unsuspecting victims? Through trust and friendships, per the teachings of his old childhood mentors back at the academy. Throughout the next month, he bought you hot chocolate and matcha tea lattes, joined you in quick lunch dates, insisted on driving you to your college classes, and went with you to the little bookstores scattered across the city. It was fun…and torturous- utter torment and near physical agony- because all he wanted to do was fuck your pretty pussy until you could no longer remember your name and your cunt was to the shape of his own cock.

He would sit beside you in the café booth, listening as you drone on and on about your favorite, most passionate subjects, all while trying to desperately hide the boner in his jeans and rid his mind of such dirty thoughts and fantasies. There was no use, though. Aemond was fucked, too addicted and obsessed.

He wanted you, now and forever.

But that was not the worst part. The worst part was that you had not the smallest clue of what you were doing to him. You were just his sweet companion, his dear friend, too innocent and naïve to both the world and the waking beast deep within him.

He often followed you back home, to that tiny apartment near the college. Aemond swore it was because he wanted to make sure you were safe and protected from any of his enemies, anyone daring to steal you away from him, but he knew it was more due to the chances of seeing you undress and shower and decide which nightie you would wear to bed. And, sometimes, he got treated to his sweet girl trying to touch herself. It was so cute, so endearing, to watch you slip a hand between your thighs only to pause because you had no idea of what to do, and how to fuck your own fingers inside your cunt until you came.

 Poor, sweet girl of mine, Aemond shook his head, tutting. Alone and in need.

How could someone so pretty, such a fucking cock-tease, be so innocent and untouched, so stupid and unknowing to everything sexual?

It did not make any sense to him.

Maybe you were made for him, and only him, and this was the gods’ gentle way of telling him to change his ways before it was too late. Leave behind this career of his, wash away all the red staining his ledger and hang up his callsign, all so he can start a family with you. The family he needs, the one he deserves.

Yes, he thought, that makes more sense. You need him the same way he needs you.

And, really, who was he to ignore the gods above? Aemond himself was no godly man, it was not in the nature of a spy like him- but for you, perhaps the fates might allow it.

Two months later, after a dinner date, Aemond has you pressed against your apartment’s door, his mouth frantically devouring yours in a fervent and wet kiss. It has been so long, so torturous, weeks after weeks of constant late-night jerking off to your pretty pictures and those blue-laced panties he managed to slip from your bedroom that one afternoon and pretending that all he wants to be is your friend.

You are so beautiful, so stunning, especially within this very moment, chest heaving out heavy breaths while you peer up at him as if he is a god.

He grabs at your face, a rough grip on your chin. “Tell me you want it tonight,” he demands, his lips near your ear. You shiver and clutch at his arms, so close to melting into nothing but putty in his hands. “Want what, Aemond?” you ask innocently, batting your dark eyelashes up at him. Fucking cock-tease. He chuckles while trailing light kisses along your jawline and down your neckline, mouthing at your nape and clavicle. You mewl at the feeling. “Please- please, don’t stop…”

“Do my kisses feel good, baby?”

“Yes,” you sigh out, tangling your fingers within his silver hair, “it feels amazing.”

He smirks. “It will feel a whole lot better in a little while, I promise you, sweet girl. But I need to ask…do you trust me?” You nod frantically, leaning up to kiss his lips. “Of course, Aemond. You are my dearest friend! I trust no one more than you.” Aemond just laughs at your words, yearning so badly to tell you that- by the end of the night- your cute ass will no longer be ‘just his friend’ but something much more, definitely.

But where is the fun in that?

“Good, good. Just relax and enjoy everything, okay?”

Aemond then pushes you back against the door, quickly slipping off the pretty floral top you wore and groaning at how your lacy bra cupped your breasts perfectly. Where have you been all my life? He thinks while snaking his hands around your back to unhook your brace and toss it somewhere over his shoulder, too busy salivating over your free and ample breasts and perky nipples.

“Fuck, look at you…so fucking gorgeous,” he mumbles, kneading at your breasts. You stiffen, flushing under his heavy gaze before moving to cover yourself up, feeling a little self-conscious. Aemond shakes his head, gently tugging your hands back to your side. “No, don’t you dare cover yourself up, baby. Not in front of me.” His fingers pinch your nipple, cause your back to arch. “I’ll never understand why no one has ever devoured this pretty body. Gods, look at these tits. You’re so beautiful, baby, a fucking wet dream come true. Mmm, yeah, bet they’ll taste delicious,” and he wraps his lips around a nipple, sucking it into his mouth.

You’re delicious here, and Aemond knows you will be even more down there. His poor cock, still tucked inside his pants, feels like it is weeping, too impatient and irritated and ready to ruin you. His hand slides down your belly to rest on your hipbones and thighs, fingers ghosting around your panties.

“Ohhh…” you gasp out, biting at your bottom lips when his hand slips in.

“Fuuckk,” he drawls out against your breast, thrusting a finger into your wet cunt. “Gods, you’re so fucking wet down here. Absolutely soaking, poor baby.” Aemond strokes your slit a few times before rubbing your clit with his thumb, hearing the way you whine and shake at his actions. “I can’t wait to be inside you, fucking you till all you can think about is me.” He continues his thrusting, watching how your pretty face scrunches in sheer pleasure.

“Are you enjoying this, baby?” he asks, humming. “Do you want me down there tongue-fucking you? Hmm? Oh, wait, my sincere apologies, pretty girl, you probably don’t even know what that means.”

You moan, loud and high-pitched, teeth still chewing on your bottom lip. At your silence, he spanks your ass, causing you to lurch up with a massive gasp. “Use your fucking words, sweetheart. I don’t care for silence, especially from you.”

The more you remain quiet, he thinks, the more spanks you’ll receive.

Eventually, you fling your head back, bumping it against the door. “Okay, yes! Please! Please, Aemond…!”

Grinning, Aemond stands up and draws his lips back to your ear, saying slowly, “Spread those legs then, baby girl, right now.” When you do so, he sinks down to his knees, both hands gently clutching your thighs, “Yeah, that is a good girl. My pretty, good girl of mine.” He moves his face to the front of your pussy, “Can you feel my breath against this pretty clit? Are you waiting for me to devour this pussy? Tongue-fuck you until you’re a stupid little mess? Tell me, baby.”

He then blows against your wetness, ignoring how you jolt hard at the feel. And I’m not taking no for an answer,” he adds before slinging a leg over his shoulder.

“Oh gods, yes, please,” you whine, jerking your hips up against his face. Aemond slaps your asscheeks hard- once, twice, three, four times. “Beg, my pretty baby. C’mon, I know you can do it. Beg for my tongue, beg like you mean it, you stupid and horny little slut.” Your eyebrows furrow at his words and you whimper. “Don’t be mean to me…” you whisper, trying to blink away tears.

Aemond raises an eyebrow. “Oh, you thought that, because this is your first time, I would be nice? My sweet summer girl, you teased me enough these past several months, and I’m done playing nice. Now, tell me you want this. Tell me you want me to claim this pussy as mine.”

Your wanton cries are everything he needs in this life, he soon realizes. If he can spend the rest of his days with his face buried deep between your thighs, he swears he’ll die a happy and satisfied man. The way his name glides off your tongue is incredibly, completely wonderful, and his mind fills with various fantasies and all the positions he will soon have you in, helpless and dripping like a whore in heat.

His pretty whore, forever and always.

“Fuck, baby, who am I to deny you such?” Aemond buries his face between your trembling thighs, inhaling your mouth-watering scent one final time before slipping his tongue inside your wet folds. “You taste so fucking good, baby- shit, you’re leaking all over my face,” he moans amid long licks, fucking you both with his tongue and fingers.

“Oh, gods! Oh- oh- oh…!” You shriek, both legs buckling as your hands clench into tight fists. All of your little moans and whimpers, those pathetic pleas and begs, they all send more blood rushing to his cock. You don’t recognize the early grave you’re digging at, too overtaken by the pleasure.

“So fucking tight against my fingers. How the hell will you take my cock, baby? Fuck, I’m going to destroy you.”

You moan again, in such a loud and lustful cry that causes his resolve to only weaken faster.

“Oh! Oh, Aemond, this feels so good! Please- please, don’t ever stop,” you wail, fat tears gushing down your cheeks. This pleasure, it is a feeling like nothing before, not even coming close to those few times you made some sad and futile attempt to touch yourself, too confused on how to deal with those strange tummy butterflies that seemingly hatched from their cocoons the day you meant Aemond.

How thankful you are that you met him.

Your body squirms every couple seconds, only to wince when he spanks your ass hard again.

“Shut the fuck up,” Aemond hisses without venom. He is too much in love with you for poison. “Do you wish for your neighbors to know that I’m fucking you right now? What would they think? The pretty and sweet girl that lives here, too innocent and naïve for this damn world, letting a man eat her out like a whore.”

You shake your head again, eyes puffy and red from all the tears. “N-no, Aemond…” you stutter out.

Aemond pauses his fingers, now curious to see how far he could go with this new type of torture. But it is not long, though, before you buckle against his hand, your bruised and swollen chest pushing up with stiffened nipples. And your body, it soon tightens as your flustered face screws up in that telltale sign that you are only seconds away from cumming. The scene is beautiful, very much so, and he feels pride that it is all from his own doing.

Yet he drags himself back up on his feet, removing his fingers from your cunt before you could cum. Perhaps it is a bit too cruel on his part, but Aemond could care less; he wants you to cum on his cock for your first time.

There will be many more times of this, he wants to reassure you. He doesn’t, though.

You’ll find out on your own time.

You gaze at him through bleak and narrowed eyes as he unbuttons his pants and shoves them down to his ankles. “You poor, poor little thing,” he tuts, running a gentle hand through your damp hair, “-are you tired? You look tired, but from what? You didn’t even cum once!” He pats your cheek, “Don’t worry, my sweet girl, you’re about to. Can’t tell you how many times, but it’ll be a lot.”

And Aemond does not wait for your response, instead snatching your hand and pressing it against his boxers. “Can you feel that, baby? That is my cock. Can you feel how hard it is? You did this, you made me so fucking hard that it hurts.” He clicks his tongue, shaking his head, “Now, that is not very nice, is it? No, no, no it is not. I thought you were a sweetheart…” He shoves your hand back, ignoring the small tears that gather in your eyes again.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, wiping them away. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Aemond! Please don’t be mad at me…please, how can I help you? I’ll do anything,” you pout as you watch him slip down his boxers. Your teary eyes grow as wide as dinner plates, and your breath hitches. It is so sexy to him, eating away at the little self-control he is trying to maintain.  

You’re a virgin, he reminds himself. Soft and easy, my baby deserves that.

“Shhh, baby,” Aemond rasps out, cupping your face within his hand. He kisses your nose, cheeks, and forehead before finding your lips. “I’m not mad, really, my sweet girl. I know you meant no harm, you’re too sweet and good for that,” and he holds your face against him while readying to fuck you with his cock. He can feel your short pants, the little breaths you take, and how you shudder whenever his clammy skin meets yours.

“Relax your body, baby girl, don’t tense up. It will hurt less…good girl, that’s my good girl.”

Nice and slow, he chants as he slowly sinks into your cunt, groaning at the tightness, slow and nice. You whimper, eyes rolling back as begins his thrusts, slow and easy. I’m a gentleman.

Mother made me promise to be a gentleman.

I’m a gentleman. I’m a gentleman. I’m a gentleman.

But the look you are giving him, with your lips pink and puffy from the shit ton of kisses and bites, and the way your pussy clenches around his cock…it is causing him to forget all about how his mother indeed made him promise to be nothing short but a gentleman.

You’re too pretty for him not to devour, and…well, were you not made for him? The gods created you with the purpose of him eventually finding and caring for you, the way it should’ve always been- the way it will be for now on. His one good eye (the one those stupid bastards left alone back at the academy) watches as you shake and quiver and mewl out the sweetest and yummiest little moans.

The way you are right now, you’re just begging to be made into a new mother, and his mind goes insane at the sudden image of you heavy with his children, huffy and sore and always exhausted. It is delicious to think about. Aemond- truthfully- never really thought about kids, constantly busy with the espionage lifestyle and the back-to-back missions, but you…oh, he knows that, after tonight, you’ll have no choice but to remain by his side as the baby grows, needing him to protect and provide and shower you with love and affection.

He’ll be the best husband and father, and you his good girl- his precious slice of normality.

The way it should be, the way it will be.

It is half a year later that Aemond “The One-Eyed White Death” Targaryen finally connects back with his boss through a phone call.

Before that, he dropped off the grid, returning no calls and messages and signals, leaving everyone behind at the headquarters confused, concerned, and scratching their heads as to why their finest agent suddenly vanished without a trace.

He was not dead- they knew that. He was just…gone.

“What happened, agent?” The director asks, fiddling with his pen while another agent of his attempts to get some kind of reading on him. No luck; Aemond made himself untraceable. “Are you hurt, Aemond? Did someone threaten you? You left after I assigned you that mobster and- well, we assumed the worst, son.”  

Aemond chuckles, shaking his head. “No, boss, do not worry about me," he says, "I’m good. Very good, in fact, the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, one might say.”

He leans against the doorway, arms crossing over his chest as he watches you flip through a baby store catalog and marvel at all the products they have for sale- the finest baby strollers, a variety of cribs, bassinets, and swing sets, and the cutest little animal plushies and clothing.

“Frankly, boss, I just grew tired of the spy life.”

“Is that so? And pray tell what you are now, Aemond One Eye.”

He smiles, eyeing your baby bump and how you are utterly glowing. “I’m a family man.”

[hanrinz]

rosie u have the biggest most sexiest brain ever im waiting for best friend rin rn ok

✩ ‧ ₊˚ CAN YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME? — RIN ITOSHI.

content. fluff, 1.1k words, failed attempt at angst, ooc rin !!! not proofread / notes. my dear amora <33 no bc i have so many thoughts about best friend! rin 😮‍💨 how did this get so long T-T

his name on your contacts is literally 'bf rin<3' and it literally stands for best friend, he doesn't know that but let him dream, okay?

kidding it's just 'teal bitch' (i can't think of names tbh), unless...

anyways.

no cause i firmly believe he walks with you to school or rides the bus with u everyday, he'll always be at your home by 6 am and your mom always prepares breakfast always urging him to eat with the two of you. she would always scold you for not waking up early like rin.

always with the comparing.

but, hey at least your mom absolutely supports the both of you if ever did end up together. may or may not have already planned your wedding or anything (maybe even had a bet between the both of your parents) but you didn't hear that from me.

and he would judge you for every guy you have a crush on PLS, you'll be like: "that guy is kinda cute," and he would glance at the guy you were pertaining to, brows furrowing and giving you a side eye,

"tf your taste in men is lukewarm," excuse me?????!!!?? he thinks he looks sm better.

he would always hangout with you on the weekends always down to watch movies with you, horror of course bc what else could he possibly watch.

"hey, wanna watch a movie? i got a new horror one," sending him up a text as you ready your room for your movie date night.

"be there by 10," he would always reply, following up with a question. "chips or ice cream?"

you'll always pick the ice cream anyways, yk he likes it very much and he just buys both of it no matter what.

always with the bickering and you hitting him of some sorts.

"at least I wasn't dumb enough to get back to my ex, twice!"

"at least your brother follows me on my social media account!"

"fuck you??????!!!????" *he was crying*

sae would be so fucking done with rin, he doesn't care anymore. you and his brother hiding feelings for each other is so painful to watch anyway. probably the reason why he left for spain. (omg what is he doing here)

okay so your friends- scratch that everyone in your town practically wondering why the two of you haven't got together yet and like please they are all literally waiting for THAT day. best believe that everyone was so willing to help rin to confess to you. how did everyone know? a little birdie or a demon (shidou provoked him obv) which is more accurate may have possibly babbled it about to a person who's a chitty chatter and soon enough everyone knows.

and you might not notice it whenever you look away from him or when you're distracted, his eyes couldn't help but to look at every inch of your face or admire it. you don't know how he looks at your pictures every night, you don't know that all he needs is you beside him, you don't know how much he wants to just take you in his arms and tell you he can treat you sm better than that lukewarm piece of shit person you call your ex.

and you don't know that he had beaten your ex right on the face 11 months after your break up. he came into your home at 1:43 am with a cut lip and bleeding knuckles, you didn't suspect that it was your ex who had the honor to be met with his fist. you only scolded him, not to get hurt again, to stop losing his temper and picking fights.

he was sitting on the counter of your kitchen, laying his head on your shoulders, you in between his legs, as you caress his hair. and he likes to say something, to say so much more than a promise. and holds off for awhile, snuggling deeper into your neck, feeling his breath that has your skin tickling. your afraid he might hear the pounding of your heart right into your ribcage. taking a deep breath, shakily.

"rin, you need to go home," you whisper.

you were only met with silence, as you felt his hand intertwining with your free one.

"don't make me go," he says right into your ear. "just- just stay.."

and you couldn't really resist him, can you?

"okay. 'm not going anywhere," you stood still, your thumb drawing circles on his hands. "i'll stay... i'll stay, rin" you reassure.

something changed after that night, and you finally noticed all the signs. how rin was more of a different person to you and not just because he was your best friend. but because he had a feeling. now, his eyes would hold more meaning than his words would.

and it scared you.

how much all this time, you were pretty much blind and oblivious. because this was your best friend, the man who you had almost spent your whole life with. and he looks at you like a precious thing he doesn't deserve.

because finally all the love songs have meaning to it now. all the things around him remind him of you. and as much as he tries his best to mask everything he was feeling, it kept slipping down on his face whenever he was with you.

and confessing to you wasn't the perfect scenario he had imagined so many times, it was awful, he thinks. the rain was pouring hard and loud on the pavement. you were on the road, the same road you would always walk on the way home. all wet and soaked from the rain, you still look pretty. you were pretty.

"i like you," he said, it was almost like a whisper from all the noises. he's pretty sure you didn't hear him, but the way you were walking towards him with a smile adorning your beautiful face, he can't help to think.

did you hear it? is this really happening? he finally did it.

and it didn't occur to him immediately how your lips were pressing against his, all under the rain your hands caressing the side of his face. and he didn't waste anymore time, kissing you back with the same intensity. he can feel you grinning against his lips.

you pulled away, arms wrapping round his neck, "i like you too, rin itoshi," you said with elation, eyes brimming with tears.

"i like you a whole lot," you repeated.

he could only take your lips once again as if he would die if he wouldn't. fuck, he thinks he needs to hear you say it, again and again.

and just like that the mask he's been wearing all this time was gone.

"what took you so long, idiot?"

◞♡ something took over me while writing this, it's monday again i hope everyone has a great week ahead!

[felinecryptid]

A Phone Call Away

this is just goldenpunk fluff idk what else to tell you, there's no plot to this

“Hi,” Pav whispered, as soon as the call connected.

“‘ello,” Hobie hummed. “Wha’ are ya’ upto?”

“Nothing, I’m just out getting some groceries. Auntie sent me out and told me not to come back, until I find the brand of tea she likes,”  Pav smiled and Hobie could feel the sun shining on his face. Then he frowned. “Are you still in bed?” 

Hobie laughed. ”I was readin’ a book,” He said, holding up 1984.

“Gadhe. Tell me you've eaten something, at least,” Pav shook his head, putting a bag of potatoes in his cart.

“Ate some leftover chips, luv’, don’t worry about it.”

“I am going to worry, it’s like 2 in the afternoon at yours, and you’re still in bed. I’m not even there to cook you something.” Pav whined. Hobie felt something warm curl up in his chest.

“Awwh, babe, you love me?”

“Of course, janemann, I love you so much.”  Pav held up a pack of tiny biscuits Hobie recognised to be ‘little hearts’. “I would literally kill to kiss you right now.”

“I’d die to kiss ya’.”

“Yeah.” Pavi stared at something off camera, doing some calculations with his unoccupied hand. “Hey, do you think I should get the family pack for 150 rupees or buy two 4-packs of maggi at 160?” He turned to the camera, showing a yellow pack of noodles to Hobie.

“I don't even know the difference,” said Hobie, finally getting up from his bed, looking for the copper water bottle Pav had bought for him.

Pav hummed, “I’m getting the two 4 packs,” He dumped the said items into his cart. “Should I get schezwan chutney for you?”

“The red spicy one? Oh fuck yea’ ov' course,” He said, watching the shirt ride up Pav’s shirt as he reached for the sauce on the top shelf. “It too high for you, shona?” Hobie asked, seeing the predictable blush rise up Pav's face at the hindi pet name. He loved it when Hobie tried and butchered hindi.

“Jaanu, you know I'm in public. I can't respond like I want to, that's so unfair.”

“I know, mere subah ki kiran,” He said, voice raspy, words feeling unusually rounded yet familiar.

“Hobie!”

Hobie laughed. He could see the deep, almost-maroon blush high on Pav’s cheeks. 

“Have you been learning from Gayatri again?” Pav asked, voice accusatory, and a sparkle in his eyes.

“I'm not gunna conform o' deny tha',” Hobie finally found the bottle under the bed, and drained it.

“I love you so much, you ass.”

“I love ya too. Wha' time is it at yours now?”

“Around eight pm, why do you ask?”

“I thought we’d eat together, you could have dinner early and I'd’ve a late brekkie.”

“It’s a late lunch at this point,” Pav scolded. “But yes, I'd like that. What are we eating?

“Mac n' cheese?”

“You know that auntie would kill me if i told her that's my dinner.”

“Jus' tell her it's a snack.”

“You are the snack,” Pavi giggled, highly weird behaviour when in public, but Hobie liked the thought of them being disgustingly cute for everyone to see. Everyone to see their love. Everyone to see how important Pav is to him.

Another part begged him to hide Pav away bc what if his enemies hurt Pav to get at him?

Hobie shook his head, because what enemies did he have? He was a tattoo artist and Pav was a physics academic. It's not like they were fighting supervillains everyday.

Pav thought the head shaking was for his comment because he doubled down. “No you definitely are.” 

“Does tha' mean you wanna eat me instead ov' the mac n’ cheese?”

“No- I mean- Yes, but what the fuck Hobie, I’m literally at the supermarket, and yes I have earphones in, but-” Someone knocks into Pav.

Hobie recognised the glint of her earrings a moment before he heard her voice. “Oh my god, Pav! You didn't tell me you were back in India?”

“Gayatri! I'm sorry, I came back like 3 days ago, and I've been too busy with packing Maya auntie’s things, I literally forget to sleep,” Pav laughed.

“Sounds like an excuse, Pavitr Prabhakar, you little bitch. If you had let me know, I'd have helped you.”

“That's exactly why I didn't tell you, aren't you working on that new movie? With Ranveer Singh in it?”

“So what, I could make time? And what kind of friend would I be if I didn't help Maya auntie and you to pack her things- Where's she going by the way?”

“Oh, uh- she's moving to the UK, in with us.”

“Oh, she's leaving?”

“Yeah, Hobie and I thought it'd be better if she lived with us and UK has better resources aur sach bolun to unko mujhe apne paas hi rakhna hai.”

“Yeah that's good, I'm going to miss her, I'll miss you both,” Gayatri's voice seemed sad. “But now I've got an excuse to barge into your house.”

“Wasn't I reason enough?”

“You? yes. Hobie? yes. Dono saath mein? Nope, thank you I'm pretty sure I’d have to bleach my eyes.”

“Thats-”

“Shut it. Speaking of hobie, show me the ring?”

Hobie watched as Pav swapped hands, bringing up his left ring finger into view, a familiar ring shining under the harsh grocery store lights.

Gayatri muffled a squeal. Pav’s grin was so wide that Hobie thought it was bleeding off him to Gayatri and him because Hobie found himself smiling into the cabinets as he took out a box of pasta.

“Ohh! kitna pyaara hai! is that real moonstone?”

“Yeah, it's covered with a thin layer of artificial diamond, it's custom made.”

“I'm so jealous. if my next partner doesn't put in at least this amount of effort, i'm breaking up,” Gayatri shoved Pav gently.

“Hobie would love to hear that. Hey, Hobie, did you hear that?” Pav turned to Hobie gleefully, Gayatri butting into the frame with a delighted look.

“Hi Angrez, wasn't stealing Pav’s heart enough? You had to take Maya auntie too?”

“Oh you can’t hear him, take my other earbud.”

Gayatri takes it, sticking out a tongue at both of them.

“Hello guruji,  you are the one 'elpin' me charm them,” Hobie saluted her with the spoon he was using to scoop out salt.

“Oh my god you are so impossible, what's the status on the Kohinoor?”

“Still on the king's head, regrettably.”

“You promised to get it back if I let you have Pav-”

“Hey, am I a tradable commodity now?”

“-at this rate you have to return the entire British museum, including interest.”

“I'd gladly do tha' on its own.”

“I’m going to accompany Pav to yours to make sure you do just that. Okay, guys, you can get back to your mushiness. I need to get going.” Gayatri waved at him and handed Pav his earbud, disappearing out of frame.

Pav looked at him with a giddy smile “I saw you put pasta in water, what do you want to bet I can check this out and get a take out box in ten minutes?”

“Not one euro or a rupee, I know ya can, including Maya auntie’s favourite tea.”

“I already found it,” Pav held up a box and Hobie couldn't resist blowing a kiss.

“You're on then,” He said, holding up a bag of shredded mozzarella. “Let’s see who gets mac n’ cheese done first.”

___

Translation:

gadhe - you ass (but this is the animal ass)

janemann - love of my life (not exactly but close enough)

maggi - verrrryyy popular desi masala ramen noodles

copper infusion water is considered healthy hence the copper bottle

schezwan chutney - a chilli garlic paste its delicious idk the recipe

shona - gold/love

jaanu - my life

mere subah ki kiran - my morning sunshine

Ranveer Singh - famous actor

aur sach bolun to unko mujhe apne paas he rakhna hai - and to be honest, i want her to stay close to me

dono saath me - both of you together

kitna pyaara hai - its so cute

angrez - foreigner (of the english kind)

guruji - extremely respectful word for teacher (when i say extremely respectful i mean it)

kohinoor - famous diamond stolen from india during British Raj

A/N:

this took me forever to edit

i tried a different process of writing which was quicker to finish but took so long to edit iwndiedksndid but ill do this again bc i like this way much better

this fic was inspired by my parents shout out to them for doing long distance straight after marriage with a 1 year old (me) i could never

comment if ya want more bc they keep me alive

[vigilbutts]

uhhh i saw people doing these so why not. anyways.

Additional stuff below readmore

Kalla is great for cuddling with and she can even become a furnace if you're feeling cold. A very fluffy snuggly furnace. She loves picking people up and fighting or wrestling with people... and holding people... Very hands-on gal. Get manhandled, nerd (but only if you're down for that). Just... don't let her cook anything. It will be both burnt and undercooked at the same time. There is also a chance she won't know it's a romantic date instead of a platonic date, because she is kinda dense. Lastly, don't mind the flames, they won't hurt you.

Luis gets a bit awkward on dates or when talking with new people because he is a bit of a workaholic and does not socialize all that much. He hates dressing up and doesn't care too much for overly fancy settings, so this WILL be a "casual" date...with lovely food they've cooked just for you (and if you like eating fish, he will catch them himself! for you!). It is an expensive restaurant high quality meal, without the expensive restaurant. They will also fall asleep during cuddles (he loves naps... and is afflicted with permanent sleepy bitch disease). May potentially show you his knife collection.

Aster is a big fan of making things go boom, so, naturally, that will be included in any date she goes on. But hey, you get a personalized fireworks show in the middle of nowhere (the only place she's allowed to make boom happen 😔). Also, she might even give you a piece of shrapnel she thought was cool. Or a rock. Or a piece of dragonbrand if yall really hit it off (yes, it would be a piece of her brand, chipped right off her hair branches). She doesn't really get what dates are beyond 'romantic stuff' and her love language is explosions and whatever cool thing she just found.

Senna will bring honey as a little date treat to share. She doesn't talk much and is very quiet when she does speak, as she prefers to Observe and listen. If you like to talk a lot, she will let you do it! Also, bonus points if you ask her about her interest in bees, she will hit you with the bee hyperfixation beam. Also, yes, the honey she brings is from her bee friends, and she will tell you all about the bees' favorite flowers.

The Ladies is your regular everyday overpowered sentient magical anomaly (mesmer flavored). She is very chaotic by nature of being a bundle of sentient magic, but she means well. Also they will be wearing a different outfit every time you look away. Because fuck you, magic wardrobe change. Also, she should not be the one organizing or planning the date, absolutely do NOT let her have that responsibility. She doesn't even know what a date is supposed to be like 😭. Also when you date The Ladies, you are also dating their clones. Because the clones are them, they are the clones. It's fine, dating her is like having 50 partners but they're all the same person.

Mesmer!Luis is less shy and awkward than his canon counterpart when it comes to dating, but is also slightly less of a romantic. He also doesn't have quite the same hangups around dressing up (but he will be very unhappy if he can't "dress" a little slutty with his illusions) and fancier settings! He will only cook you a little dessert treat and not a whole meal, but will let you touch his chest or biceps, if you like. Absolute cuddle fiend and he's warmer than a human should be, but it's fine, promise. This version is also less likely to fall asleep, but the chances are still decent enough that he might! Could be convinced to show off and flex his fun little mesmer tricks, if asked.

Beans is just a lil creature! This gremlin is not supposed to be charr in their usual form, so they are a little awkward and clumsy with this new form. May whack you with it's tail, that thing is sososo long compared to the tail it is used to. It will probably drag you into some wild adventure or scheme. It will also break the 4th wall and get very Meta. Beans is also very fond of memes and bright colors.

Alice has been a ghost since King Adelbern betrayed his people and bound their spirits to fight for an eternity against the charr. Alice is not fully bound any longer. In her free time, she enjoys a bit of sparring and... well... all this freedom is new so she doesn't know much about her own likes and interests beyond that! Also, she is like, really cute. If she likes you enough, she may even take off her helmet for you. She may also be subject to outbursts as she fights to keep control of herself. It would be Very Bad if the Foefire takes over (I advise running, if such a thing were to happen).

[secretkinkz]

I Hate You~ A Toji smut

At this point, Idk If I should continue writing. I hate my fanfics. But ty to those who messaged me. Been thinking about quitting this writing stuff, due to horrible writers block. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy. I really tried my best.

Warnings: Choking, hair pulling, breeding, forced marriage, finger sucking and car sex...

Hasn’t been proof read

"If I were you, I'd shut up," Toji grumbled as he kicked the body into the fire. 

I bit my tongue and followed him out of the warehouse. "Good girl." 

He smirked, sitting on top of his car. "Who are we waiting for?" 

I asked, standing next to him. "Chip. He said he'll be here soon." I nodded. 

We sat in silence. Soon enough the sound of an engine roaring caught my attention. "You son of a bitch, what a dramatic entrance."

 Toji stood up and went towards this chip man. "Haha, I have my ways." 

They began talking. "Did you finish the job?" 

Chip asked. "Yeah, he isn't the one who killed Juice but he did go along with the plan." 

Chip nodded. "Alright." Chip glanced at me. 

"She's here again?" Toji nodded. "She's my wife so she comes along." Chip chuckled. 

"That's dangerous, she could get killed." Toji scoffed. "I wish someone would try and lay a finger on her." His mood seemed to have darkened. 

"Woah, I wouldn't let that happen so calm down." Chip placed his hand on Toji's shoulder. "She's a real one." 

I looked away if only Toji cared about me. He's only saying this because Chip favors me. My heart ached. 

"Well, I'll see you then." Chip smiled and walked away, getting in his Lamborghini and driving away.

 "I don't want to do this anymore Toji." He looked at me. "What the fuck are you saying?" He stalked towards me. 

"I want a divorce. This marriage isn't working out." He chuckled and gripped my jaw. 

"This marriage ain't fucking real. We had a deal, you marry me and you stay alive. Asking for a divorce is like killing yourself." 

I pushed him away from me. "You know, that's why you're doing this to me. You know I love you! You fucking bastard! I hate you!" 

I slapped him across the face. He shoved me against the car. "You fucking say those words again and I'll kill you. You're not going anywhere. Even if that means having to tie you down and leaving you in a basement." 

With my hands pinned above my head, I attempted to knee him but failed as he gripped my throat. 7 years of marriage and he still hates me.. 

“Do it, do it!” I screamed out, struggling to get out of his grip. “That’s what I thought, you don’t have the balls to kill me.” 

Toji clenched his jaw and stared at me. “Don’t tempt me woman.” I knew I was playing with my life but fuck it. “Exactly.” I glared at him. 

“So go ahead, tie me up and leave in a basement, it’s better than seeing you everyday.”

 I lied. “You shut your fucking mouth.” I placed my hands on his chest, trying to push him away. 

“Let me leave! You fucking bastard! I hate you, let me-” Toji smashed his lips against mine. I bit his lip, drawing blood. That didn’t stop him though. I won’t give in... Toji gripped my throat tighter. I gasped. 

He used the opportunity and slipped his tongue into my mouth. My eyes fluttered shut, moaning softly as he began grinding against me. 

“I seem to have allowed you too much freedom.” He picked me up and opened the backseat doors.

 He turned me on my knees and pulled my skirt down. I shivered, the feeling of his fingers pressing against my bud was too much.

 “I don’t want it...” I whispered, hoping he didn’t hear me. Toji removed my panties and tossed them somewhere around the car. “Shit.” 

I moaned, feeling his hot breath against my cunt. His warm tongue slid between my folds. I held onto the door for support, feeling myself already becoming weak.

He slid his thick finger past my entrance. “Ohh.”  I moaned as he pushed another finger inside. I cried out at the sudden intrusion. This unknown feeling was driving me crazy. 

He was gentle. I hated this, him pretending to care for me... It's not right.

Not even 5 minutes later, we were all over each other. His huge cock stretched me out. "Fuckkk." Toji's hips snapped forward, his cock hitting my g-spot. 

I let out a cry of pleasure. My pussy clenched tightly around his cock. The sensation was so intense that I felt like I was about to come from sheer pleasure alone. 

He took a fist full of my hair and yanked my head back. My knees were ready to give out on me. 

Driving his cock in and out of my wet entrance, Toji groaned. The feeling of my gummy walls hugging his cock drove him crazier. "Y/n." He shoved his fingers into my mouth. "Suck em, just like you'd suck a fucking cock." I ran my tongue across his fingers. 

This is horrible, he killed someone with these hands. So, why am I so turned on? I failed to keep my eyes open. My walls clamped down onto his cock. "Close.." 

He pulled his fingers away and gripped my throat. "Hold it." His thrust became rougher. 

I dug my nails into the red leather seats. "Tojii!" I was stuck between pleasure and pain. At this point, I was panting and drooling from my mouth.

 He held my hips and buried his cock deeper, letting all of his fluids fill me. I twitched as he continued thrusting.

"Let me leave... You've got what you wanted." I whispered, Toji placed his hands on my stomach. "No, stay with me.." I bit my lip and sighed. 

"It's a one-sided love, I can't stay." Toji stayed silent. "I can’t admit that I love you, It’s dangerous.” I turned around and looked at him.

 “What? It means you do right?” Toji only kissed me. “If people think I don’t give a shit about you, they won’t make you a target.” I nodded slowly. 

“If you do become pregnant then I’ll do all I can to protect you.”

The End~ That's it cause I can't do Fluff 4 shit. 

[tatiejosie]

28 for Bella

ohohhhhh boy thank u for asking!!!!!

28. Top ten things that you love about your blorbo

• She's so pretty uwu <3 Her heterochromia is a really cool touch to her character design, and I love the punk 90s milf look. I'm using this opportunity to point out that Bella is unusually tall for a woman, but you can rarely notice it because Mandrake is the main Tall Bitch of the film, and there are few other adult humans to compare. I also very much enjoy her looks because she is Very Shaped and as much as I'm looking respectfully, I am most certainly still Looking. She's making it very hard not to look. [The film also never uses her looks to demean her character, but that's just Ghibli for you. Respect women juice has been dranken]

• She shamelessly reclaims her unusual appearance. Messy blue hair, mismatched eyes, pointy nose, massive stature and you won't see a hint of insecurity in this woman. She's glamorous and happily high-maintenance (wears makeup everyday, sharp manicured nails, hair-curlers routine), straying out of mainstream beauty standards whenever she feels like it (vibrant makeup colours, mismatched eyeshadow, bright high-heeled boots, skull earrings). Note the high contrast between the orphanage's matron and Bella. That woman sticks out like a sore thumb but she's oozing with confidence.

• She's not afraid of dirty labour and gross things. Look at her holding the damn slug with her bare hands and putting her entire arm into the gross gunk of her table without an ounce of disgust. She's not some dainty wimp who's afraid of chipping her perfectly manicured nails on the carcass of a roadkill. She's part of the primordial soup and she has no fucks to give.

• She is SO capable and versatile. Non-gentle reminder that Bella Yaga has been single-handedly managing the household; daily chores such as laundry, shopping, cooking (the artbook states that Bella is a great cook), probably cleaning to a certain extent; working on magic and the chores that come with it, foraging and gathering plants, processing the raw materials, preparing the spells and potions; and managing her spell business while maintaining her clientele and deliveries? And that's just the chores thing, but there's the whole bookkeeping aspect of maintaining the household and her business. Clearly Mandrake uses the demons card for any possible task, but she cannot do that, and the end credits show that Mandrake is only starting to learn how to cook! Bella is also the one who drives the car, and she seems to have the skills to repair it as well according to the credits. So yeah TLDR Bella is the housewife, the breadwinner, the Mom Friend, the Beer Dad, the Vodka Aunt, and the most reliable person of the house. We love a multitasking queen

• She's hot-headed and seemingly immune to bullshit - you're not getting away with being a treacherous little bitch without experiencing the Smack Of The Century. She also doesn't seem to be receptive to Earwig's manipulative ass trying to sweet-talk her way into practicing magic; I'm on the fence about the morality of Earwig's controlling behaviour so it's nice to have at least one character who doesn't fall for her bullshit.

• She's officially described as a skilled magician, even to demon standards! She has a whole ass notebook with hand-written spells that she probably crafted herself. And considering that the book looks childishly girly and worn-out, we can assume that she started writing in this notebook when she was a child.

• She's considerate and emotionally intelligent enough to live with and manage an unstable demon. Idk if that really counts as a quality because that's very much a fear response from abusive behaviour but hey, Mandrake loses his shit very easily and she's able to interact with him on a daily basis without dying so that's pretty girlbossy in my book. She seems supportive of him and obviously cares for him and his comfort, even if he's difficult. [Note that in the book, she does fight back when Mandrake assaults her]

• She's one of the queerest characters of the Ghibli pantheon. Excentric and glamorous, skilled beyond classic gender roles. She was ambiguously involved with Earwig's mother and Mandrake. Her husband is the twink of all times. She's the gruff drummer who starts the bar fight and WINS the bar fight, she's the blunt auntie who shittalks your parents with her cigarette hanging off her lip.

• She's a professional drummer and Mandrake thinks she's really skilled. Drumming takes a highly efficient coordination and an incredible sense of rhythm. Drummers are human metronomes with the stamina of a beast - they're the backbone of their band along with the bassist and yet they're always placed in the back of the stage bc otherwise they'll be too noisy and drown out the rest of the band. Managing to be both the brawn who bangs like a caveman, and the galaxy brain who maintains the entire song's tempo. Drummers are the unsung heroes hidden in the dark, carrying the weight of the drumline. That's Bella Yaga for you. /lh

• She still gets flustered when she's shown affection. That's it that's the thing I can't be normal about

Thank you so much for allowing me to be cringe about this specific blorbo, I love Bella very much and I feel that she deserves more love <3

[chaeyunz]

happy opening, everyone! excited to introduce u to ryu chaeyun, the wolf pack skele and also professional pain in the patoots. more info will be under the cut, and i’ll be around for a while if you’d like to plot. discord is also available (and slightly preferred!)

please be warned that passive suicidal ideation is mentioned in the intro (marked w a *) & will be a general recurring theme with her character, so please proceed w caution, and do let me know if you need a sparknotes/would prefer to plot without that point!

graduated from the national university of idgafistan, with a doctorate's in idgafism and a minor’s in ijbolism. thats it, that’s all you need to know about her.

her life pre-apocalypse was pretty normal: grew up in a family of 3 with her dad and older brother. mom passed when she was young, and at mama's funeral, her grandma tells her she has shitty fate. she's literally 10 though and doesn't understand what gran's trying to say except she doesn't ever see the maternal side of her family ever again x

watched train to busan like right before the apocalypse started and decided she just wouldn't be built like gong yoo. did, and still does not have that much will to survive, but hey, she's still here!

same can't be said for her dad, who d*es in seoul qz because of a very mundane stroke. doesn't get his blood thinners on time... or at all, bc of the kdrt rationing it super strictly. her brother turns angry at the world, and somewhere in their 5 stages of grief, they make the move to the busan qz. his joining the fireflies is the natural next step for someone so full of anger towards the kdrt.

all the unprocessed grief really makes one a great member of the resistance, and he does well within the ranks of the fireflies. he goes on every mission he can, and chaeyun knows he's gone too. his body never comes back somewhere between the 10th and 20th mission. L + ratio + skill issue!

eyes turn to her, then, to carry on his legacy. problem is, she just... doesn't want to. she's happy chilling in the qz, being a silly little 21-year-old teenage girl.

a demented old lady accosts her randomly. the same shit's spouted, but this time w a twist! she's got shit astrological fate that kills the people around her. the lady's family pulls her away and apologises for her, but it lingers in the back of chaeyun's mind.

* she entertains the idea a little more than she should, and thinks everyone around her in the qz might die. has nothing more to lose (besides a delusionship over someone who barely looks her way) and if she does something useful in div4, then maybe she deserves to live.

sorry 2 everyone on the mission, 'cause she's in her terrible twos and so goddamn annoying. like, pretending to convulse and zombify annoying. pull a gun on her and she'll be like omg wow rude..... what did i ever do to u! if u can look past the chronic unseriousness then she's alright. just ur typical gen z-er.

her one strength is bouncing back from just about anything. like, she's been through. a lot. but everyday she wakes up and decides its a new day to choose violence &lt;3

her dog is a malinois named potato (chip). better trained than her, and she loves that stupid dog so bad. classic case of tiny girl & big dog. potato sideeyes people a lot but also. is very excited and gets the zoomies 24/7 when he's not on duty. rolls over for belly rubs way 2 easy.

misc. chaeyun tingz: always has chocopies on hand. don't ask how or where she's getting them. u think she's finished the one box she's brought.. but she just keeps pulling them out. is her bag doraemon's? / very prone to nosebleeds. no reason why / keeps talking about fast food. misses mcdonald's ice cream so much. / hums under her breath. either chopin or 2016 kpop girl groups. what can she say, she's got range /

a couple plots i would like to have wld b found family.. of course. show & teach her that fate can be changed. we will all have these bitches become found family. / someone who knew her in seoul qz. can tell she's different now somehow... but can't quite put their finger on how (it's death babes x), though i'd love to brainstorm & fill any of ur wcs!

[crybaby98anna]

1 Set your goal weights.  2 Get a buddy 3 Set a calorie limit and stick to it. Find a TDEE calculator online. That will tell you how many calories you burn a day. And make a calorie limit based on what  you want to lose in a week (If you eat 500 less than that everyday you will lose a pound a week,if you 1000 less calories than that everyday you will lose 2 pounds a week and so on,how fast you want to lose is up to you)  4 Become a vegan. It helps weight loss! I swear! And it can also Be used as a reason as to why your eating differently. And be used as an excuse to not eat.  5 Exercise at least 30 minutes 6 days a week. It should really be 60 minutes 6 days a week. But 30 is the bare minimum. Make at least 1/2-2/3 of it cardio. 6 Intermittent fasting is the BOMB. If you can get through most of the day without eating, even eating a gigantic dinner will keep you losing weight. I sometimes struggle to get up to 800-1000 cals, especially when I'm eating vegetarian.

 When people get suspicious

People keep bothering you about your weight loss, "why you never eat," or if you're "turning anorexic"? Here's some ways I've found that help keep people from being too suspicious of you.

1. Don't advertise your diet. Don't bitch that all you can eat is x amount of calories or y type of food. Bitching about food (or lack there of) you cannot eat will annoy friends and drive them away. If they know you are on a diet, they are more likely to call you out on "taking it too extreme" and start a whole mess of drama. If they offer you food, just decline it politely. If they demand a reason, say things like "I don't like x ingredient," "I'm not hungry right now, but I'll try it later," "I don't want to spoil my appetite for dinner [or other meal]." I hate using the "I'm vegetarian/vegan" or "I'm allergic to x ingredient" because they can sniff out bull shit if they try hard enough.

2. Don't announce to the world that you feel fat. People will either think you're a bitchy self-centered person fishing for complements and sympathy, or they will say "yes, indeed you are fat" and make you feel 100 times worse. If they think you have body issues, they are more likely to attribute weight loss to anorexia or other eating disorder behaviors.

3. Fake eat. Carry food around your backpack. hold a candy bar, a pack of nuts, or a piece of fruit. Be seen with food. Buy a bowl of soup and just bring a spoonful of soup to your mouth while you talk for a while (don't have to actually put it in your mouth). People will believe you will or are eating said item. They will passively imagine seeing you eat it. I've carried the same apple for a week without anyone noticing it, and someone has told me, "I'm glad you're eating again." lol.

4. take advantage of anorexic stereotypes. Common stereotypes:

They never eat. Only eat in front of them.

They only eat low-calorie food or ultra-healthy food. Eat a small candy bar (60 cal) or bag of potato chips (150 cal) in front of them. Spending 100-200 calories in a bluff is better than being in complete dietary scrutiny.

They fear food. Make cookies. Bake something. Talk about a new recipe you found. You can say you tried what you eat and like it. They won't know. If they want to see you eat stuff, you can easily make a low-cal version of the baked good and eat that as a bluff in front of them.

They only eat tiny portions. This may sound weird, but you can binge in front of people and they won't even notice it's a binge. Just spread out what you eat over a few hours. Don't do this often, but it can really throw some people in for a loop if you eat a lot in front of them. Besides - you can compensate when they're away.

5. Don't skimp out on every food-event. Friends want to take you to dinner? Go. You should be able to recognize what types of food are naturally low calorie and order that on the menu. There's a lot of tricks for what to do when you have a food event that I'll go in detail in another post, but main ones include:

Time your eating pace with other people at the table.

Have food sitting on your fork in the air.

Keep them talking about themselves or any topic not about you.

Say you love the taste of the meal.

at a buffet? carry a plate of nibbled food.

6. Blame balanced diet, exercise, or genes. If people constantly ask you "How come you are so skinny?!" blame it that you're naturally skinny. If they ask how you lost the weight, blame it on diet and exercise. If they're interested in the type of diet, you can just list one of the mainstream diets out there (like atkins diet or paleo diet). You can even have fun with this and give false diet tips. I've told someone time I cut out all potatoes from my diet and lost 5 pounds (lie). I've told another person I ate a stick of chalk before dinner and lost 3 pounds that way (lie). Another option: blame a disease. Say you had thyroid problem or a really bad flu and lost weight that way.

****Difference between #1 and #6: you can say you WERE on a diet, just don't say you ARE on a diet. People won't bother you if the diet is in the past and done. They will bother you if it's still on-going because they sometimes see it's in their power to intervene.

7. Don't make a show about not eating. My god, this one irks me in movies: the protagonist goes into a huge hissy fit about eating one carrot or the mother pleas through tears for him/her to eat one more bite. Have dignity! Just eat it, then get out of there. Accept it and move on. Compensate for it after. If you put on a show, they'll think there's something seriously wrong with you and throw you into IP or other treatment option.

8. Play ignorant. Don't blab all this knowledge about dieting, nutrition, and eating disorders. "Normal" people don't obsess about that kind of stuff and therefore don't know that much about that area. If people are spewing obviously wrong information about dieting "OMG THIS APPLE IS LIKE NEGATIVE 20 CALORIES" don't be all preachy about what calories are, how you can't eat negative calories, etc. Just keep it brief, maybe even off in your numbers, such as "I thought an apple is like 60 calories?" Not, "Even compensating with energy spent during digestion, an apple is still only 43 calories."

[notasaint]

so i was able to weigh myself for the first time in about 2 years which was honestly really hard for me.

my family used to have a scale when i was deep in this as a teenager and as it broke i slowly began to binge eat basically every single night, probably from missing out on junk food for so long

so i binged

and part of me doesn't want to say this because i don't like this, and i don't want other disordered bitches to think down on me

but i've gained 50lbs and honestly this was me weighing after i've been eating very little and fasting

and i think i thought i was recovered, but i've always had an issue with food, eating lbs of junk food every night until you feel sick to your stomach isn't a healthy relationship with food either

so i come back

i'd rather be hot and depressed than struggling to find things to wear that make me feel okay about myself everyday, worrying how i look compared to others, how little control i have over so many aspects of my life, including how downhill my friendships have gone because of people having clique attitudes

so you punish your body to feel control, to lose the weight, to try and find any sense of comfort in the way you look, but you never will

i weighed 98 lbs in high school

but I looked in the mirror and hated everything i saw

now i look at those pictures of me and it's all i ever could have wished for rn, this is so sick

anyways i guess i just kind of wanted to share my story because you never really know that you are getting to a place until you're there and the worst part is trying to dig yourself out of the hole without the tools you need to do so

but i can do this i can lose the weight again, even if i crumble in the process

so i continue to chip away at the ice that's covered my whole body, 50lbs of it, with a blade

[aidenstar789]

Hitler is my Nigga (lyrics)

‎[Intro]‎ Kung Fu Panda

[Chorus] Uh, Adolf Hitleris my nigga (Nigga) Put the barrel to his head and pulled the trigger (Pow) With my nigga Winnie the Pooh and Tigger (Ooh) My retarded son is addicted to liquor(He's five)

[Verse] An enemy aye,beats me up everyday He is a prick but she got shot in J. F. Kennedy's place He's in the Hennessy phase Eating Supremacy Lay's Dip my balls in some sticky chips and rub it all in his face I'm chilling with Anne Frank in the (Hot Box) Her secret is that she likes (Hot Cocks) Ayе, we hiding from theoppsin theLock Box Ayе, till the time that Oskar Schindlerknock-knocks I'm in the tune at afternoon I'm in Berlin eating kebab with my homie Kim Jong-un A platoon Like an army, we're on top, yeah He's a goon Its the schoon I tell you the kebab made my farts a typhoon Looney Tunes I love that show but my grandma said it's for gay people Then that bitch found out that my farts were way lethal (fart) Passed away after leaving me hella money bank Cause I went and go farted in her damn oxygen tank

[Chorus] Adolf Hitler is my nigga (Nigga) Put the barrel to his head and pulled the trigger (Pow) With my niggaWinnie the Pooh and Tigger (ooh) My retardedson is addicted to liquor (He's five) Kung Fu Panda

[aouiaa]

[✶] — YOUTUBER!ELLIE HEADCANNONS

DISCLAIMERS & WARNINGS — EIGHTEEN PLUS, usage of cursing, mentions of kicking vagina (idk what else 😭)

AUTHOR’S NOTE, hoorah!

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who will never in a million years stop saying out of pocket shit.

She’s playing nun massacre by the creators puppet combo when she starts talking her shit — she is a bark, no bite type of a girl.. — “Let that nun come in here, Ima Liu Kang kick her coochie.” she says, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration with a hint of fear. (autocorrect hella fear). She’s a room, crouched by a drawer, searching for items when she continues her rave. “Phoosh, me, scared?” she rolls her eyes with too much confidence. “I wanna see that saggy titty bitch come—“ she cuts herself off when the screen start glitching indicating the enemy nearby and immediately scurries in a corner.

The moment she’s in the corner, she looks striaght into the camera, expression changed within seconds. “Guys—no, i’m not scared.” she whines when she hears footsteps. Let’s just say she is, not that she’ll admit it.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who swears she’s not flexing when she shows her goosebumps.

“You guys don’t know how clenched my asshole is… AHH!—stupid ass bird!” she shouts when a jumpscare plays. “I got the chills, guys. Look, not even tryna to flex so don’t go in the comment saying that I am.” She pauses the game and promptly lifts the sleeve of her shirt to show the camera her muscles that are practically bulging out — yeah totally not “flexing”.

“You guys see them? The chills that kill.” she says, looking at her arm through the face cam and running her finger along her beefy bicep to point out the nonexistent goosebumps.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who made a challenge for herself to post everyday for a month, but never has accomplished it.

“Guys, I swear on my uncles saggy tits, i’m gonna get this shit done.” She says, running a hand through her hair, seeming determined, yet somewhat stressed about it. Which her fans seem to notice almost instantly, making the comments on that video very sweet. :(

Itsme123: “Hey man don’t overwork yourself, you’re doing great!

Purpleismyfav: “You don’t stress yourself out over a challenge, we’ll always be here!

Gayforelliewilliams: “You got this! We love you, Ellie!

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who starts posting vlogs more often that consist of her making breakfast, working out (which gets deadly amount of views.), her walking around the city she lives in.

Youtuber!Ellie who’s a fucking idiot when recording one of these said vlogs when she unexpectedly meets you, but her first impression does leaves a mark behind!

“Yo, guys, look at this fine ass girl.” she says, pointing the camera towards you before realizing what’s she doing can end with her sitting in a jail cell and almost drops the camera trying to face it towards her again, hoping you didn’t notice her antics, but you did.

The first impression wasn’t great…you immediately came up to her, angry. “Hey, you creep! Why the fuck are you recording me?!” you interrogated.

God, she knew this wasn’t the right time, but the way you yelled at her was so hot. “I’m…Im sorry…I didn’t mean to! I was just recording for my blog, uhm, I’ll cut it out.” her eyebrows furrowed in concern, she felt her face drop, losing its warmth. She didn’t want to come on as a creep who records random women! Even though thats what she was doing in the moment minus the creepy intentions part, but nonetheless that was the last thing she wanted to be!

“Please do!” you frown, and walk away. “The decency on some people!” Ellie can hear you say as you walk off.

A defeated sigh escapes her lips, and she immediately opens her camera again. “Y’all, I messed up my chance with another baddie…” she says with a sad huff.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who’s in bed, days later scrolling on tiktok with her chip coated fingers that leave behind residue stains when she sees a familiar face. Licking her fingers, she pauses the video, and looks at one of the girls being interviewed on what song they were singing to. It was you.

What were the chances of her ever seeing you again? Literally, zilch, but here she is commenting, “Yo, who’s the 4th baddie? 🌝”

It took about ten minutes to get mutliples comments and likes, but she didn’t care, she was looking for you, not the other comments responding to hers saying, “Nooo, my chances with are ruined 💔” or “Ellie’s a simp.”

Until one of her fans did pull through, and @ you.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s heart pounding out of her chest as she scrolled through your tiktok. She could feel her cheek becoming warm, just looking through your media, and after a little stalking, she followed you.

When you got the notification, and mutiple tags of people saying this about a girl named ellie? You opened your phone and scrolled through tiktok until.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who got a notification on tiktok that you followed her back. Let’s just say she almost recreated her infamous scene of her falling out of her chair.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who accidentally pressed the “👋👋👋”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who screamed “No!” when she realized she did, and threw her phone across the room.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was throwing clothes around her already messy room trying to find her phone that she threw after hearing her phone ring.

“Where are you, you fucking—Ahah, Got your ass!” she squeals, and looks at your response, “Hey, you’re that one creep who recorded me, aren’t you?”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was surprised with how smooth you two were getting acquaint. She obviously asked for your number because she fucking hates texting on tiktok, plus who does that? And you two were actually hitting it off.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who doesn’t immediately want to reveal her career, wanting to be known for her, not for her channel. So when you ask if she was a youtuber, Ellie plays it off smoothly… at least that’s she think…

“So what was with the camera? You have a fetish for fliming random girls?” you voice receiving on her end of the phone, causing her to wince.

“N-No…” she sighs, feeling her face heat up as she thinks of an explaination that doesn’t expose everything.

You couldn’t help, but to laugh, making Ellie’s heart flutter at the sound of it. “You know I’m kidding, right?” She could hear your smile through the phone, making one appear on hers.

“Yeah, no, of course!” she responds quickly, but after curses herself mentally for being so awkward. “Uhm, it was just a project for my film class.”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who did ask you out on a date (finally) and was extremely nervous for it that she sent out a tweet asking for tips on what not to do, but was met with her fans teasing her.

Andrewking101: “Make sure to leave your camera behind!”

Princessbubblegumfan14: “Make sure your flyer is up.”

FinnyDinny101: “Don’t fall out of the chair!”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who trips four times on your date together.

“Youre pretty clumsy.” a giggle can be heard from you which makes Ellie turn even more red.

“Yeah, sorry, you just keep making me fall to my knees.”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who preread her stupid puns book, for just in case.

“Speaking of grapes,” she smirks. “What did the green grape say to the purple grape?”

You smile, already starting laugh. “Uhm, I don’t know, what?”

“Breathe, you idiot!”

Let’s just say your first date was one of many dates that bloomed into something more!

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was finally came clean on the third date and was extremely nervous to tell you about her career. Since there was a chance you wouldn’t think being a youtuber was a real job, but you took it rather well.

“Ellie, I know that already. Didn’t really take rocket science.” you deadpan, your face too serious for her comfort.

“Oh,” she trails off, looking away as she scratches the back of her neck. “Right…” she whispers, cursing herself for being an idiot.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who accidentally kinda exposes your relationship, a week after of you guys making it official. But she played it cool.

…at least she thinks that.

“Yeah, my girl—“ she stops, accidentally swallowing the food she was chewing when she realize what she was gonna say. “I mean friend likes sushi too.” she says in between coughs.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who turns paler than she is now when she sees pictures surface rather quickly of you two out in public. What did she expect honestly? Her fans are borderline insane and delusional for her, were they not gonna catch on? What made Ellie more scared is the “don’t get a fuck” outfit she had on compared to the outfit you had on. Girl legit looked like a bum holding hands with a goddess, and as usual her fandom did not take it lightly.

Kingpin123: “WHATT YOU GOT A FUCKING GIRL?

Wolfgangnation: This just came in, Ellie Williams from Ellieswolfgang has a girlfriend! I repeat she has a girlfriend!

fleshunger: NOOOO HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! TO OUR KIDS?! 💔

Ellieswife: How did bro get that? LOOKING LIKE THAT 😭

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has relief when her fans like you, and instead dogged on her for looking like a cat’s hairball, but you assure with many cuddles and love that you’d still love her if she was.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s followers finding soon after the reveal of you find Ellie reposting shit like this on TikTok.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who makes tiktok’s like these randomly, and her comments are just as expected.

GamergurlHJ: Oh to be Y/N… 😞

Skibidi1233: Me and who?

Justinbieberfan1294: Stoppp they’re actually so cute I can’t 😭

But also you guys.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who puts you in her vlogs and legit has to cut some of the clips short because it’s full on just her groping and kissing you like goddamn give the girl some breath, ellie!

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who now cannot stop talking about you in every single youtuber video. It’s literally oh, y/n this, y/n that. It’s ridiculous, even her fans in the comment section start a count on the amount of mentions.

FREEPALESTINE: thirty in today’s video, y’all… 😐

Happyveevee: If my girlfriend isn’t like this, i don’t want ‘em. 💯

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who purposefully plays games that you helped program in just to mention you.

“Oh, shit, guys! My girlfriend worked on this game! She so fucking cool, man.” she smiles to herself, knowing damn well she knew.

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who’s caught being a cutie by yours truly on one of her vlogs at the beach. it goes on like standard blog, the buildup to the now resting point.

The camera pans to ellie on a lawn chair, focused, so focused in fact if you looked closely you’d see the tip of her tongue poking out of her lips ever so slightly. Accompanying her are two remotes, one in hand and another on her lap. Below resting on the sand are two toy construction vehicles; an excavator and a dump truck. The remote in her hands seems to be controlling the excavator since it’s promptly picking and pouring sand on the back of the dump truck, making a miniature ant hill.

You couldn’t help but to snort at her antics which are utterly adorable in your eyes, but your snickering doesn’t go unnoticed, catching the auburnette’s attention. “Hey, are you recording me?” she frowns, intentionally giving you puppy eyes.

You giggle, nodding. “Yup, and you better keep it in the video, or else.” you threaten playfully with a smirk.

“Or else, what?” she retorts playfully, scooping up sand and commanding the machine towards your direction. “Uhh—Ellie, what are you doing?” you raise a eyebrow, but soon get your answer when she pressed a button, promptly making the machine pour its content on your thigh. “Ellie!” you scoff, instinctively lifting your thigh up and accidentally sending the sand all over you. Ellie’s laugh serve as background noise from your muttered curses as you shook all the sand off of you.

On the bright side she kept that part in the video!

YouTuber!Ellie who’sliterally that one audio “I like him. I like that autistic man.”

Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s fans dogging on her for the way she act with you on camera.

Lilwaynetay: Bro the type to call her “mommy” while giving her this look “🥺”.

NBAstarfan: Bro the type to be at the dinner table with her knife and fork upright and cloth wrapped around her neck.

Not gonna say which one is true…

PREVIOUS PART - SECOND PART

[✶] — PERMANENT TAGLIST, @dyk3ang3l, @elliesprettygirl, @les4elliewilliams, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @marsworlddd, @bready101, @abbysleftbicepp, @airenaa, @caraphernellie, @astralnymphh, @whore87, @kaiilectric, @sapphicontherun, @mikellie, @nihilisticangelbby

[!] — PLACE AGES AND PRONOUNS IN BIOS, if you have plans to be added to my taglist!

[jbvvgv]

I am one of chip but don’t do cheap. Be the love who want the most be ledge I put u curse. No are worth more than me it is mine u just a whore. Hahahaha. I love work but don’t do desperate. Who is now are desperate. All is is win win game. Forget the rest and be the next. Forget the world they see me shine. Why are you are so jealous I don’t do you so move on.

Don’t be him I love my worst don’t be him I love her most. Shit he grow so fast whats your number I want a sister. I don’t do others while they laugh we see a tears. Don’t be her to my risk do love her I love the show. Girls now are so precious they know their friend. Don’t do her I love her most she is there for a reason. Just like in other world I have a wish like other girl. Shit they it inside shit it’s her I rest the case. Don’t do word other girls she is gone I put my work. Don’t go work or stay at home im a girl who does a cook. Don’t curse my kitchen I want serve to all the family and friends. I smell shit that others don’t I love me as others known. Don’t fool I put u word dont hate us I see the bull. Everyday they do bully shit I love the attention how come I would go out from here!!! Bully me I see the girl bully her I see the love. But it’s not that important be the rest I can back to job I love. They hate me cos they see the recipe. Recipe is the game of the girl not a bitch!!! Bitch me now I want to see who love attention I want to know. Don’t be rude as all are gone stay there forever I’ll make u home. Want to a worth in girl want to learn the recipes. Are u next to me all I know is a recipes. Don’t bull me now I see my own what the hell is wrong with me. But they say to stay away from a girl who be the mother before it’s time. The girl in me is still exist as I run all over the house and scream. No body will ever leave shit that are grown up like her mother. Don’t fool her as I can tell her love is a waste of time. But I love her anyway I love her in whatever. Don’t love her on show cos I have another one. I don’t have a leg to go I can’t see her when she cry. She is all I have how can u make it count. I love her like my mom so like him are my dad. Don’t put me on rumours I love them as I love me. I had her when she was cried I lost her when it’s time goodbye. Love her now I see my worth love me then I see the shit. She is mine like all the Che does previously I see Che palsu so i geli. Where is Che that they mention the glamour is yours or it’s mine. Don’t show yourself in my matter I will love you like a song. I don’t shit like your family does shit I am proud ever I don’t you ever kau sedar tak kau model kau Murah je la. I love me like all the world I like Che like she is mine. Don’t do her I see in me do me as she is laugh. Love a song like I reaveled love them now I don’t forget. Girl in me see is lost what am I so busy in my with my what they said expensive oh it’s a cost. Would u see the love I lost the girl in me is love the kitchen I know u like cheaper by the dozen. It’s family dont u love. Don’t hit snake like other world don’t hit me as I just cried. Are u that are so gorgeous cos I see the gorgeous does the work super perfect and you can’t. What a world am I living. I want work but u want a fight. Don’t get wrong if u fall down have no courtesy in yourself. Just like do hold the keys I love my family. What is private show I be the show. Shit this woman she just a girl. I’m a girl I don’t go out why would I cos u the shit. I have so many boyfriend but I dont do tell others. I don’t care like u nosy u want to get fucked or the job. But I don’t do that to myself cos they are just an entertainment. What does entertainment do? They it’s a rest of the mind. Don’t fool me as I am aged love or hate I will make the most. Love him now I see his worth love me now I see the moon. See her now I don’t do twice see me shit u put u through. Love her now I see the tears love her most I don’t see me. See her now I put her word, see them now I do regret. Love are so hard to forgive he is me he so kind man. So the boy he is learning all I said it start from the stomach what does stomach do the world I said get a knive and cut a chives. He is still new to learn. He is mine I want to tell. Love he gone when I was lost I want to say be my adik and cook with me!!!! He is so be dumb he goes marriage when I said learn to love yourself first adik. I love all my family. Just love myself so much just like I love me

[afr0-thunder]

[Poor Chronicles Pt. 23]

*STARBUCKS EDITION*

I was working with the assistant coach who says, “Nigga!”. It must have been judgment day or something. We worked very closely yesterday and he was playing music. He asked if I had any requests. I said, “I had one yesterday (off day), but I can’t remember, I’ll let you know if I do.”. He also asked what kind of music do (I) like. I just said, “Rap and Pop, mostly.”. He said he “doesn’t really like pop, just mostly R&B.” and “female rap.”. I was thinking, “Well you should, as many times as I almost catch you saying ‘Nigga’…”. The day was today, I thought like 6 times, “Did he say Nigga or was it just the song (and him)?”. He was right next to me during “Ice Spice - Munch”. She raps so fast on it, I was just like, “He won’t say it…but he might.”…and before you know it, “That _____ a munch, nigga a eater…”. He just stopped, covered his mouth and said “Oop!” and looked at me. I looked away. Job was in my hands.

Anyways, I didn’t remember the song, but I requested Megan Thee Stallion “Big Ole Freak” and ZAYN & Taylor Swift “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” to level out the pussy popping party we were having.

I had two dreams last night. One where I worked with these two rappers from the West Side at this fried chicken restaurant, who ironically, I saw making a music video on my way to work last year. The other with one of my newer female coworkers. She was supposed to be giving me a ride home and they took me to her apartment. She’s cute, but she keeps smiling at me at work. Bitch, if you want this dick, stop subtly letting everyone know we want to fuck. I have to maintain my reputation as obviously straight, but potentially homosexual. I don’t like pussy at work.

I took a long walk before work and after I arrived (early). Explored even further west (or is it North/Northwest?). I stumbled upon this Irish statue (sculpture?), The Galliene?. It appears I just was revisiting places I had already been. I’m taking another walk today.

I have decided to not go on a date or see anything in the downtown area. I was looking to purchase a movie ticket and thought, this will be fun, but I don’t spend money outside of the South Side, especially not outside of my old neighborhood. Also, what do I look like paying for pussy. Outrageous. I still have to acquire service for my cellular device at some point. Will update you all soon on my efforts.

I have revived chips in my diet. I still miss them everyday when we’re apart. Now, I will make some ramen noodles.

This is as short as I can see myself making a “Poor Chronicle” and it’s still very long. I may make edits tomorrow for updates on things I’ve already said, but that is it.

- MH (2023)

[10/21/2023 - 9:46AM - Typed]

[10/22/2023 - 12:27/28PM - Posted]

EDIT: I went for a walk in Gold Coast. It was nice, wish I could see more. I also walked to Oak Street Beach about 30 minutes before my shift. My African American manager asked me to get him a peanut butter milkshake and I said, “I may not have time.”…because of my walk time being unknown. The man didn’t know which one was peanut butter, I could tell by the look on his face, so I left. He started yelling at me about not bringing anything back. I said “ __________, I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING FOR A WALK!”. He still wanted a milkshake. I was like, “I don’t have time, my shift starts in 11 minutes! I clock in usually in about 4 minutes from now!”. He still asked. I went and told him I was going to whoop his ass in the alley after the shift for making me be 3 minutes late. I also said I would have his stomach pumped for the milkshake after my shift for not playing my song request (which he skipped, it got played after though) and making me (technically) 10 minutes late and missing like $1 or so in pay. They were out of chicken for my favorite chicken salad after the shift. This happened Tuesday night as well. Told my female coworker (who said “Nigga!”) that she was fired for this because she threw it out when we closed. It was my manager who refused to make it yesterday. He also, before we closed, asked if I was retarded (not verbatim) or if I ever “had like 8 kids in any of my classes”… I almost smacked the shit out of him, but just ended up saying, “No, I was the smartest kid in every single one of my classes.” and he went on to tell me who he thought was disabled at my job. I just laughed and started walking home.

I considered not fucking my female coworker’s life up because I said on one of my snapchat stories that I was no longer letting “racist niggers” suck my dick, then I said, “But why would I do that?” after I saw her titties and said “That would be so ridiculous.”. There’s also this other racist girl I remembered I went to college with (great titties as well), hate that bitch, so she needs to get her life fucked up too. Very religious, so why would she not want to get fucked by god? Exactly.

Anyway, onto acquiring service today…