#Can I say how sick I am of this shit already? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kanmom51 · 2 years

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JK ain’t gay

*Disclaimer: If you don’t have a sense of humour don’t bother reading this post.

Part 3 of my 2 part expose into JK being straight as an arrow.

Cause I know people.

I’ve already proven it to you time and time again.

In part 1

and

part 2

Go read them now goddamn it !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need the likes people !!!!!!!!!!

Clearing throat and moving on.

Our man, our ladies man fuckboy, our manliest of all men, a one Mr. Jeon Jungkook is not gay nor queer in no way, shape or form.

So what if he sucks on another mans’ ear?

So what if he allows said other man give him a hickey?

So what if he publicly posts said other man an outright invitation to come over and devour him?

As our pierced and tattooed manly man told us himself: SO WHAT???

And now all of you can see it.

In your faces suckers.

It’s proven.

That’s it.

Our holey (typo intentional) mission done.

We have irrefutable evidence.

JK has been photographed with his girlfriend on a super romantic very secretive vacay on Jeju.

Wait, wrong pic.

This one has our straight manliest man, man of all men, sitting together with his girlfriend at a restaurant having a super romantic dinner together, of which at the end he proposed to her, cause that’s what you do when the love of your life is about to become the mother of your child, oh and before he goes to the army. Yeah, that too.

Well, ok, we don’t really know if he proposed to her of if she’s even pregnant, but she’s his girlfriend for sure.

Well, ok, we don’t really know if it’s a romantic dinner or even if she’s his girlfriend, but there’s a pic which contains JK seen with A WOMAN.

Well, ok, so not exactly seen WITH a woman. More like sitting somewhere and a woman in his proximity.

Well, ok. not exactly a full pic, more like a cropped pic where we see maybe JK sitting opposite someone, he is looking in that direction, and we don’t get to see who that is.

But there is a pic. With JK (well, maybe JK?) from Jeju.

Yes, Jeju is a sure thing.

So we have a pic with someone, maybe JK, with a woman sitting near by from a restaurant in Jeju.

Oh, and he is going to the army. We do have that too.

And obviously that’s more than enough to prove that JK is our beloved straight fuckboy.

Phew.

Got there finally. That was exhausting.

End of part 1 of part 3 of our JK ain’t gay expose.

To be continued with part 2 of part 3 of our JK ain’t gay expose in which we will divulge mind blowing transcripts we don’t have from recordings never made of a private conversations between our manly man JK and his bro JM.

This will be it. The conclusive and irrefutable piece of evidence we’ve been waiting for.

Or have we?

#Can I say how sick I am of this shit already?#every second day we have a new claim about JK and a girlfriend #He can't even look in a woman's direction #talk to a woman #sit in the vicinity of a woman #let alone touch one #and not be claimed to be having it on with her #once again facts are twisted into narratives that have nothing to do with the actual truth #and who cares #right?#as long as all roads #as twisted as they are #lead to a straight JK

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gregoftom · 1 year

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TO ME, THAT’S CINEMA

#tomgreg #so i've seen this around a lot and ppl have already made points but like holy fuck. hoooly fuck lmao where do i begin #TOM THOUGHT THE ROOM WAS EMPTY FOR UH ... FOR WHAT BITCH??#empty for what. you two just going in there ALONE. what for. strategizing? ok but then why was greg showing you tonight's selection.#even if it was girls it's still sus bc like who tf goes specifically to a room to show that shit.#oh by the way i listened again and tom says first ''why do we have to...'' so GREG asked for the room?#greg asked them to go to an empty room. slut.#anD THEN AFTER SAID ''I WANNA GIVE YOU'' BITCH!!!!!!!!1 #are we sure it's girls though...... like does it say later. i'll keep watching but Christ. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK #how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet #sick to bastard death of them god #so it's like. greg says can we go somewhere private and tom says why do we have to #greg says i wanna give you... and tom says what do you wanna give me annoyed like #girl we are at work and we are trying to stay alive can't you wait til we are at home for me to clap them cheeks #and then greg says a preview of tonight's selection... of what? could be alcohol could be sexy stuff could be mf. clothes idk #and then they look up like O FUCK the room is in use and it's fucking SH*V and immediately tom is like GO ON and greg #doesn't even stutter or say anything like usual he's just like SORRY and leaves immediately bc he KNOWS he gotta gtfo #sorry i'm just. poetic cinema indeed

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scattered-winter · 3 months

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every day i kick a rock and bash my head into the wall because i'll never get to go on a big space adventure and become tightly close-knit with my new found family up there <//3

#re lrb..........#i mean realistically if i was in the voltron/quintenary stars universe chances are i would probably NOT be one of the people #going on the space adventure.#i'd be roped into the plot when the aliens invade and earth almost gets destroyed. spoilers for arc 2 btw sorry #but man. child soldierism aside i wish that were me so so so bad #sadly kicks a rock when will EYE have a deep and mystical connection with a giant ancient cat :(#its not even that i want to interact with the main cast bc i dont really i just. wanna be in their position man #i think one of the reasons why voltron grabbed me so hard (among MANY) is how badly i wanted to do what the main characters did #i remember when i was first watching it while it was coming out i would CONSISTENTLY daydream about being launched into space #with a handful of other people and having to fight a war and grow up far away from home and all the suffocating stuff that came with it #and then coming back years later already solidly knowing who i am and being confident in that #so i'd actually be brave enough to be unapologetic about it. and i'd be found family with the people i went to space with also #that parts important #idk man just. i dont like saying i was abused when i was younger because i really dont think it was like that and it isnt even close to #what how people who have really been abused have had to go through #but sometimes i really do wonder. like now that im (mostly) out and able to review everything with an outside perspective #not even getting into the cult survivorism stuff this is JUST family dynamics im talking about here #bc that shit is a whole other can of worms #i think my parents were genuinely doing the best they could with the cards they were dealt but. jesus christ.#i would have given ANYTHING to be able to run away from all that. and throw magic cats into the equation? brother im GONE #anyway this tags ramble has derailed in a MAJOR way. tldr i wanted to be a paladin sooooo fuckign bad bro #like it actually makes me SICK how much i want a lion. red you are my forever girl even if only in my heart <///3 #i still do want to do all that out of principle but its not as desperate now i just really love space and really want a big kitty friend #winter speaks

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buck-up-buck · 5 months

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HMMMMM. Let's talk about THIS right now, because WTF.

Is Tim in my walls?

BABES.

Let's delve into this.

First of all, I WAS SO RIGHT ABOUT THEM MEETING IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN BOBBY BRINGS A PATIENT AND I AM GAGGING OVER THIS HOLY FUCK.

@thetangycheesemanwithaplan called the stalker AA plot which is posted below, for ya'll to see, which we just saw in the promo for 7x08 and I am FERAL OVER THAT.

SO NOW, let's delve into the fact that I...

Called Bobby wanted to gain his forgiveness, which is hinted in the promo.

PROTECTIVE ATHENA LIKE LOOK AT HER FACE IN THAT PROMO ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!

The entire revenge plot like come on, I CALLED THIS SHIT SO HARD.

Amir losing someone in the fire, potentially a wife or fiance..... I SAID THAT I ACTUALLY SAID THAT!

NOW, onto my cheeky lil ideas for the next two episodes because I have some more thoughts... Again, these scream AO3 but, let me fantasies okay because that episode and promo did things to me.

Picture this.

Bobby walks into his lil AA meeting and low and behold, there is Amir, ready to throw all Bobby's troubles at him, and Bobby spirals because damnit he wants to make amends with this man and he is making it so. damn. hard.

NOW, Athena is like, you stay the hell away from this man Bobby or so help me GOD I will tie you to this goddamn dining room table with your firehose. So he listens....

UNTIL

He gets a text message from Buck, but no, it's not Buck, ITS AMIR, because AMIR HAS KIDNAPPED BUCK AND IS HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE IN AN ABANDONED EASY MOTEL IN THE DESERT.

"come get your boy. come alone."

Buck is all like "Father help" and Bobby of course is like "OH NO MY BOY" (if you understand this reference I love you, if not, it's okay you made it this far I still love you.)

Bobby shows up and he is READY FOR A GODDAMN FIGHT (Kenneth did day a conflict for Bobby in episode 8 and we did see this man put a LITERAL KNIFE TO BOBBY'S NECK) so if this does not scream fight (WHICH I ALREADY PREDICTED ANYWAY) then I don't know what does.

Buck is all tied up and a bit battered and bruised but mainly concerned about the fact that he can smell FIRE and Bobby is fighting this man while OH NO, THE EASY MOTEL IS STARTING TO BURN AND FUCK THIS IS NOT GOOD.

Tag Amir winning/getting an upper hand on Bobby and him and Buck both end up stuck in this motel burning down.

Queue, Ashes Ashes 7x09.

Now, we all saw the helipad in the sneak peek pictures of them filming in the desert so, imagine, IMAGINE, Tommy, Buck's sexy hot as mother fucking firefighter pilot boyfriend coming to save his Boyf and soon to be father in law.

SCREAMING.

Okay I'm done. Someone take tumblr off me.

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bootyful-seventeen · 11 months

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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it #she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin #all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's #all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood #and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here #and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does #so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff #when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die #and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates #cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter #grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni #she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t #so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too #and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress #when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk #i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz #cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all #grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done #unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess #it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help #like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi #and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous #and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree #at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar #without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since #we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by #i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear #its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage

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bigcryptiddies · 2 months

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Save us black women. Black women save us.

#txt #I am telling you though like consistently black women show up and show out #when no one else is doing shit it’s black women who are beating the pavement every time #I don’t know how it’s gonna turn out but that call is yet more proof that black women get the damn thing done when none of y’all can be #asked to get off your asses because you wanna be nihilistic shitheads who take everyone down with you #I’m so sick of it having to be this way but frankly we already knew #that the reason most of y’all just sit on your asses and say ‘well everyone’s bad and there’s no good choice’#is because even if we do devolve into a facist shithole without even the pretense of democracy #most of y’all will be the last to suffer from it #you’ll watch every other demographic go down before you #and that’s just the truth

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hecksupremechips · 5 months

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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

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pissfizz · 6 months

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I’m going to lose my mind oh my god I am so scared for this quincenera wtf

#NOT MINE BTW I MISSED MY CHANCE LMAO #but Jesus Christ family I’ve never met before flying in from Panama…. god I’m so scared #I’ve already been dealing with some wack ass imposter syndrome ass shit cuz of how I was raised this is gonna make it SO MUCH worse #I DIDNT EVEN KNOW PANAMANIANS GOT QUINCES #i was raised with almost zero influence from any culture whatsoever I wasn’t even raised close to that side of the family #and like I’m mixed with white but I can’t even use that as an excuse cuz the cousin who’s quince it is is also mixed #and that side of the family is super tied to the culture and they speak Spanish and shit #i don’t even speak Spanish even if the family from Panama doesn’t think ima. total embarrassment what if most of them don’t speak english #when I’m surrounded by white people 24/7 I feel like a total outlier but the second I’m around anyone else latine I feel like that but WORSE #i don’t speak Spanish I don’t know anything about the culture I’m from the fucking pacific northwest and do digital art and watch anime #i am so far completely removed from everything I’m gonna be sick #my grandma is already so judgy about stuff my uncle was even WORSE and made fun of the stuff that was too white or too American about me #my cousins throwing the party are the least of my worries cuz at least their mixed and second/third Gen too #but oh my god the family I’ve never met before I’m so scared I’m so scared #i was already thinking like. can I even call myself latine bc of how I was raised and how far removed I am from everything. I’m mixed so -#-should I just associate myself more with the white side of my family. am I being fraudulent by identifying with that term just bc I have -#-the blood is that even enough maybe that kid had a point when he said I shouldn’t count as hispanic if I don’t know spanish #and thinking about showing up to my cousins quince as. me. it’s terrifying it’s awful I want to go I want to meet these people I want to -#-celebrate my cousin and be happy for her but GOD what if everyone hates us and just tolerates us cuz we’re related to them #i would say we’re the black sheep of the family but I feel like white is more fitting cuz I feel like we’re just slightly brown white people #god god god I’m so stresssd out by this #is this a weird thing to be worried about is this stupid is this selfish #and to make matters worse I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET HER FOR A GIRT #vent

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izzy-b-hands · 1 month

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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.

#text post #like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late #and god why do we have to do another visit #they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out #can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after #i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel #i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that #they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically #and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor #and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt #that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it #bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it #they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like #im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything #unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care #anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great #that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday #(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week #and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure #for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up #he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at #so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that #and that's money i don't fucking have rn #i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this #and now i definitely cant bc like #it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried #what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule #that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November

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ozlices · 10 months

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as a person w so goddamn much medical trauma the thought of having to go through the process to find a new doctor that is not just simply compatible w me, but who is also, like. u know. an actually nice, understanding person who will put genuine effort into taking proper care of me is so taxing. like i wish it was a simpler process, but it's not. bc i gotta deal w the very real possibility that by having to go through this process, my medical trauma will be worsened even further. & it is already bad enough that i have panic attacks every time i have to go to any sort of medical facility.

im literally so fucking furious over how much this happens. & that there's no fucking consequence for doing it to a Human Being. for tossing a Human Being that needs medical care aside like a piece of fucking trash. the american healthcare system is such a stupid fucking joke.

#mine #and it sucks bc tbh im at a point where i rly wish i could say 'fuck it' & just. not bother.#but i dont have a choice bc im on daily medications that i cant abruptly stop & Have to take to function #like i literally dont even know how to like. deal w processing the doctor my family has had for potentially decades just dropping me #outta nowhere. like damn i literally cant even trust the doctor literally my entire immediate family has seen for YEARS #to fucking give a shit abt me.#ive been through such an absurd amount of betrayals this year i literally feel like a broken shell of a person #im numbing. i really fucking am. what the fuck else am i sposed to do.#like... literally i feel so nauseous over this shit.#no warning. no head's up. just 'oh btw we're not treating [them] anymore.'#like ?????????????????#bruh this year has fucking brutalized my dissociation. i literally dont feel like a real person w feelings anymore.#bc ive just been treated like a piece of shit that's an inconvenience & a burden & worth more effort than i deserve to be granted.#it's so... just... idk. man. i dont even have it in me to be sad or hurt anymore #im just so fucking burnt out & exhausted. ive been wallowing in merciless agony since i had to move back in w my parents #i am genuinely BARELY surviving at this point & Still shit just Keeps Piling On.#i literally dont know what to do w myself anymore. im trying as hard as i fucking can but holy fucking shit.#i already have way less energy to spare than the average person bruh. it's ridiculous #im sick of being told it'll be ok. im sick of being told ppl feel sorry for me.#im sick of complaining. im sick of being miserable. im sick of feeling like this.#i just want to be done w all the hardships im so fucking exhausted i dont wanna be a person anymore man.#also like. v fucking taxing bc not every doctor can nor will prescribe my adhd meds.#so. like. that's also terrifying. nauseating to deal with.#i literally just want to give up bruh and not even in a suicidal way like i just am so sick of trying for nothing #i could do nothing at all and still be put through bullshit im over it all im so fucking over it.#never in my life has being told 'it'll be ok' felt more dismissive than it does this year but my god. does it feel so dismissive & taxing.#ive literally never not been more not okay than i have been this year. & i continuously get more brutalized no matter what.#it's exhausting as shit just let me fucking breathe what the fuck jfc.

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strohller27 · 1 year

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#hoo boy lads I’m going out of my mind I have so much to do and no time to do it #‘you could have planned this out better’ Bitch I am the first person in my immediate family #who has even thought seriously about moving to a different country #and I HAVE ALREADY lived in another country before but it was within the confines of an exchange programme #nobody knows what I’m doing this time around and therefore nobody can help me plan #I’ve been feeling burnt out since Fall of 20-goddamn-22 #and last semester I learned that my master’s degree programme cannot accommodate the thesis I want to write #life took my plans and ripped them up into millions of little pieces #and yeah you can say ‘tough shit. that’s life’ but I’m SO TIRED of this happening #because my whole life has been like that #‘you can make your own decisions when you have your own house/apartment/life’#OKAY you’ve been telling me that my whole life BUT WHEN IS IT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?#I am TRYING to take my life by the horns and make things happen but #I can’t help noticing how precarious my position is #I have to drive across country hoping my only form of transportation doesn’t somehow fail me #I have to set up a new life in a new country where I don’t know anyone and I have never lived before #it’s like trying to build a house off the side of a cliff. one wrong move? one really bad day? and I’m toast.#and yeah I signed up for this but it’s because I’M SO TIRED OF WAITING for things to fall into a place that would make this change easier #nothing’s getting easier! everything just keeps getting harder! and no matter how many times I keep beating my head against the wall #hoping I can make things fall into place…nothing seems to change for the better. and I’m sick of it!#they say good things come to those who wait but I’ve been waiting for twenty!! goddamn!! years!! and things are still the same #like standing water it just sits there and festers #I want to stop merely surviving and start LIVING for once #I want to *do* something but I need support and I feel bad asking for it #why is it so hard to make myself believe I’m allowed to take up space? why is it so hard to ask for help??#maybe because I’m worried that I’m not allowed to take up space..and I know that when I ask for help #it’s often met with non-committal sayings and shrugs and ‘well okay. you tell me what you need to do and we’ll figure it out.’#maybe I don’t know what I need to do! maybe I need help figuring that out! it doesn’t help when all I hear is ‘yep. adulting is hard’#LIKE I DIDN’T FUCKEN KNOW THAT. maybe instead of stating the obvious we could FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MOVE FORWARD?!#I’m going absolutely out of my fucken mind

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piplupod · 1 year

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every single room is a mess, bugs are everywhere, i need to figure out how to drop out of my college program without my mother increasing in her abuse, and I just hope that the new medication numbs me right out of all emotions because I don't think I can handle this genuinely constant anxiety much longer. I'm shaky and dizzy all day from being so on edge and overwhelmed and exhausted, and I cannot do anything for it because my situation is so hellish with no way of leaving or escaping other than packing a bag and going to a shelter which is Not an option for me lmao

these are the times when I am painfully reminded how little society cares about abuse, especially child abuse. there's no resources and no system to help anyone if you're unable to hold yourself up on your own two legs and work a full time job

#i feel very sick fjfkdl i just am so trapped #i fucked up somehow #honestly i feel like its the covid. it has literally ruined my life at this point #if i hadnt gotten sick then I would've been able to finish my college program and then I wouldn't have to deal w potential increased abuse #and i would have moreeee energy to actually deal with all of this shit #idk its dramatic to say it's ruined my life but djdksl my life is small and rn it is currently fucking Everything up in it #and by small i mean... idk how long i get to live so if this causes me to shorten my life even more then it Is life ruining #just remains to be seen how much more shit i can deal with ig fjdkdl #and if it is Actually life ruining or not #who knows maybe the long covid will go away but i honestly truly doubt it bc i think it wrecked my already wrecked shit body #okay crawling off my pity party stage now sorry fjfldl im just uhhhh not sure what to do !! feeling mighty hopeless and helpless lmao #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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fiapple · 2 years

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everyone acting like the fact that some detr*ns people join transphobic movements after de-tr*nsitioning is a phenomena that’s the fault of trans people not supporting them enough & not, oh, i don’t know, their own choice to become a literal fucking facist, owes all trans people $1,000,000 each actually. usd too.

#censoring to avoid showing in their tags #transphobia #i am SO fucking sick of this like. bestie they didn’t become a fucking facist because we didn’t coddle them enough.#they became a fucking facist because hiding under a thin veneer the facist was there the whole time!#like i’m sorry if all it takes is you being wrong about yourself once (1) to join a full blown reactionary movement #and forcibly apply that shit to everyone who isn’t you or your fucking scientifically inept echo chamber!#well insert the maybe they were already kind of a garbage person jpeg here!#sometimes all a gal-guy wants to do is tag scroll & what do i get for it? people being loud about how we need to SUPPORT the fuckers joining #movements to exterminate us because uwu the only ones supporting them are transphobes uwu #shut the fuck up you dumb motherfucker most of them are fucking adults they should know not to be a fucking facist #and like someone i followed pointed this out but like. you can just call yourself a cis person if you’re one of the few who didn’t do it #due to internalized transphobia. you can just say you’re cisgender. you don’t have to try to make a fucking politic of it. like bar #potentially experiencing misdirected transphobia you are not targeted for your relationship to gender on a systemic level.#or targeted for your relationship to gender in the way trans people are anyway #you can just say cis. it isn’t a bad word.#trans tag #trans #transgender

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ridiculously-over-obsessed · 2 years

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Living with her is such a weird limbo now I’ve decided to go no-contact when I move out, like I’m sad and annoyed all the time about her bs and her attitude and her gaslighting, but I also know there’s an end in sight so I don’t feel... anything about it at the same time.

Idk I’ve got all these weird feelings/non-feelings going on and I just want to reach that end date so I can get on with my life, I’m feeling very weird lately...

#gs rambling again #like rn she's asleep (yes it's 6pm here) and i had to get my sister up because she's got dnd online with her friends #which is fine but like... she's 19 and doesn't get herself up and i'm sick of it being my responsibility #and mum got snappy at me for daring to wake her up at 4pm because i was going to do food because she was tired and needed more sleep #like why tf are you snapping at me you're nearly 50 years old you should know how to communicate with ppl by now #so i just went back to my room because fuck that and had a cry because it's exhausting and i'm exhausted but i also just feel... empty??#like i don't feel any type of way about my decision to cut her off i'm not sad i'm not angry i'm not relieved i just... am.#idk i've had enough and i want it to be august already so i can get out and stay out and maybe then i'll feel something about it #just praying sfe doesn't fuck me over again this year 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻#also i really need to talk to my friends about this but i know theyre in a great place and i don't want to bring my sad shit into it #i feel bad for needing them which i'm aware is not a rational way of thinking and i need to open up etc etc #but i'm... i just got so used to keeping it to myself that i don't know what to say or how to open up #and now i'm just spiralling and feeling bad for not talking to them but also bad for even considering it #*gently thuds head into wall*

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onlythebravest · 2 years

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#tw sick parent figure + tw sick parent when i was younger (sick-sick)#seriously don't read this it's just me rambling #i just write it here bc i don't want to bother people by saying the same thing over and over and over #bc it's nothing new to be said. i just need to get it out yet another time #i hope this drowns in all the louis posts so i can just send this into the void 😂#i've been home for less than 24 hours and i already don't want to be here. it already sucks #i guess in a way it's good bc now i can help but it really sucks and idk how to handle everything #and on top of that my therapist continues to be sick so i don't even have someone to talk to about all of this and it just sits in my head #he is already back at the hospital which makes me just remember all the times my mom went in and out of the hospital when i was younger #well good thing here is that they have something that they now can treat even if they don't know it that's actual cause of not #but doesn't help with all my thoughts about how bad shit is and how it reminds me of my mom and how i can't handle any of this #and am instead rambling in some tags in a tumblr post #i wish i could just shut down all the emotions until he's all better and we don't have to worry anymore and everything is fine again #bc this sucks #i don't want to do this anymore #and i'm sure it's barely begun #bc why would it be easily treatable? that would be a miracle and i don't believe in miracles #life sucks and i really wish it didn't #if you’re down here then that’s impressive bc I wouldn’t be able to read this since it’s just a block of text without any real sentences 😂#and yeah this is just me screaming into the void #don't worry about it i'll be fine

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fvckmyaesthetic · 2 years

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#can’t sleep. feel sick. feel empty and sad all the time. say i’m lonely and then purposely avoid talking to people #like genuinely. wtf is my problem dude??#i feel so tired and let down by everyone and everything all of the time and it’s like?#shit ain’t even that bad in the grand scheme of things. but I really still just wish I could get a ‘break for once’#why am I so stuck on the ideas of certain people who will never be the way that they were when I actually knew them #and why can’t I just be upfront with people about how I feel. so many ppl think so highly of me for Who Tf Knows Why Honestly #and it’s like. for the love of god please just go find someone else because I Promise you that I’m not going to magically fall in love +#+ with you someday. I have too many fucking problems as it is that I couldn’t even stay with my lady gf for more than a few months #why can’t I just get my shut together Jesus is it really that hard??#if I’m tired and sad then why do I stay up? why wouldn’t I just go to sleep. all I’m doing by staying awake is making myself feel WORSE #and I already feel bad enough as it is. everyone is moving forward with their lives and I’m just sitting here #No fucking clue what I’m doing. no one to talk to. i swear all I want is a good hug sometimes and I can’t even fucking get that #how hard is it to just ask someone for a hug and I can’t do even that??#please tell me I figure my shit out soon and learn to talk to other people because I’m so tired of forcing myself to be so alone all th #e time. i spend so much time awake at night and for what? so I can just make myself feel sad and lonely and anxious?#yeah well I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being awake and alone and not having anyone to talk to because I push everyone away

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