#talk to a woman

[kanmom51]

JK ain’t gay

*Disclaimer:  If you don’t have a sense of humour don’t bother reading this post.

Part 3 of my 2 part expose into JK being straight as an arrow.  

Cause I know people.

I’ve already proven it to you time and time again.

In part 1

and 

part 2

Go read them now goddamn it !!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I need the likes people !!!!!!!!!!

Clearing throat and moving on.

Our man, our ladies man fuckboy, our manliest of all men, a one Mr. Jeon Jungkook is not gay nor queer in no way, shape or form.  

So what if he sucks on another mans’ ear?  

So what if he allows said other man  give him a hickey?

So what if he publicly posts said other man an outright invitation to come over and devour him?  

As our pierced and tattooed manly man told us himself:  SO WHAT???

And now all of you can see it.

In your faces suckers.

It’s proven.  

That’s it.  

Our holey (typo intentional) mission done.  

We have irrefutable evidence.

JK has been photographed with his girlfriend on a super romantic very secretive vacay on Jeju.  

Wait, wrong pic.

This one has our straight manliest man, man of all men, sitting together with his girlfriend at a restaurant having a super romantic dinner together, of which at the end he proposed to her, cause that’s what you do when the love of your life is about to become the mother of your child, oh and before he goes to the army.  Yeah, that too.

Well, ok, we don’t really know if he proposed to her of if she’s even pregnant, but she’s his girlfriend for sure.

Well, ok, we don’t really know if it’s a romantic dinner or even if she’s his girlfriend, but there’s a pic which contains JK seen with A WOMAN.

Well, ok, so not exactly seen WITH a woman.  More like sitting somewhere and a woman in his proximity.

Well, ok. not exactly a full pic, more like a cropped pic where we see maybe JK sitting opposite someone, he is looking in that direction, and we don’t get to see who that is.

But there is a pic.  With JK (well, maybe JK?) from Jeju.  

Yes, Jeju is a sure thing.

So we have a pic with someone, maybe JK, with a woman sitting near by from a restaurant in Jeju.

Oh, and he is going to the army.  We do have that too.

And obviously that’s more than enough to prove that JK is our beloved straight fuckboy.  

Phew.  

Got there finally.  That was exhausting.

End of part 1 of part 3 of our JK ain’t gay expose.

To be continued with part 2 of part 3 of our JK ain’t gay expose in which we will divulge mind blowing transcripts we don’t have from recordings never made of a private conversations between our manly man JK and his bro JM.  

This will be it.  The conclusive and irrefutable piece of evidence we’ve been waiting for.  

Or have we?

[soundwavefucker69]

bastille has done more for the queer community by just making all of their love songs about "you" instead of specifying a gender than taylor swift has in all of her discography. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[beebfreeb]

[rowenasgf]

thinking about the character like

[officialspec]

can i say something. for years i thought the joke of the song short skirt/long jacket by cake was that he wanted a woman who was hung like a horse. like i thought when he says jacket it was a last-second fakeout because he very obviously meant to say cock. and the rest of the things in the song were just her personality and interests. which were secondary to her awesome penis

[densewentz]

When a cunty witch beats you to death then steals your boy toy for eternal torment 😢 (based on that 'don't you miss her???' meme)

[kaogens]

mikus once again :P

[soupinaboot]

In my opinion, Bruce should be above average height or at least average. But since he surrounds himself with demi-gods, aliens, meta humans, etc, he's just dwarfed next to them. Like maybe about 6'1 or 6'2, but that's NOTHING compared to Diana '7'3 feet tall' Prince. Or Clark '6'9' Kent.

All the tabloids claim he has to be at least 5 feet tall because the only photos they can get of him are when he's next to his giant ass friends.

It is also my personal headcannon that all the robins stay shorter than him, except Jason, who should be at least 4 inches taller.

[theabigailthorn]

"Good" Acting

i have a theory that a lot of people say acting is "good" when they're emotionally moved by it, and a lot of cishet white people have a lifelong habit of not listening or empathising when minoritised people speak, so minority actors get called "bad" even when they display some pretty fucking amazing technical skill

[welcometogrouchland]

Extremely bad batgirls comic I made featuring Steph's sex life and Cass' ability to read everything but the room

[kanmom51]

JK ain’t gay expose

*Disclaimer:  If you don’t have a sense of humour don’t bother reading this post.

Part 2 of part 3 of our JK ain’t gay expose.

In which we’ll disclose super secret transcripts of secret recordings that don’t exist that have come our way from our super secret agent who’s true identity we canine (typo intended) divulge at this point in time (wham BAM thank you mam).  

Just a random pic.  Nothing to do with our secret agent.  Not at all.  Ignore it. 

IGNORE IT.

The recordings were made sometime before JM’s birthday, early October 2022, exact date unknown to us, as we are still experiencing difficulties with our translator from and to doggie (god, get your minds out of the gutter - doggie language not style).

These recordings we don’t have, god, they are damning.

A conversation that never ever happened between our manliest macho macho man JK and his buddy and protector of his secret relationship with his long term girlfriend, now turned fiancé and mother of his future child (you know - the one from the restaurant).

This transcript which is not at all a figment of my imagination (or is it?) will finally prove to what lengths these two would go to hide JK’s gf from us, their most trustworthy fandom, those who love them oh so much, those who know them the most in the world, those who listen to what they say.  My god, the violation of our trust in them.

I tell you, after reading this transcript I AM SHOOK.

Here we go people, get ready to have your minds blown:

JK:  Jyaman, my man, how did your recording go today?

JM:  Yeah, not too bad.  Been working round the clock.  

JK:   So, dude, you know I don’t do small talk, I’ll get right to it.  I need a HUGE favour from you Jyaman, my Jyaman, my mate, my everything, but you know, ew, not EVERYTHING.

JM:  What is it Jungkookie?  What do you need me to do?  You know I’ll always be there for you.  You are my everything too, well not EVERYTHING, you know not EVERYTHING, although you do remember that time with the purple ribbon...ahm, yeah...

JK: (Throat clearing) Things with yyyy are getting serious, but you already know that, right?  You literally helped me choose the engagement ring together, dah.  Anyways, ma man, things are getting tricky for me.  Too many people are saying you and I are not a thing anymore.  

You know, our fanservice thing we used to do to protect Tae and my loving relationship.  

Wait, no, I’m getting muddled up, I’ve been reading too much TKK content.  Man, those fanfics are something else.  Actually, you don’t even need to go to the fanfics, read the posts they are a whole fanfic of their own. Got me believing them too, shit.  

JM:  My macho macho man JK, well, not MINE per say, but someone’s...

I digress...how could you even JK?  We were doing it to protect our girlfriends, man.  Maybe you should take a break from SM, eh?   

JK:  Bro, good idea.  I think I need to delete my whole IG account.  Wait, I’ve already done that.  

JM:  Babe, oops, I mean manly man JK, don’t worry about it.  What was it you wanted from me?

JK:  I’m planning a trip to Jeju and going to propose to yyyy.  But you know how we don’t have any kind of privacy now days.  I’m worried we’ll be seen and everyone will find out we’re together.  

You know the lengths we went to with the hickey, right?  We can’t let this fall apart now!!!

JM: Look man, I helped you with the hickey, just like you helped me during RB.  God forbid someone would have seen that lipstick mark on my ear.  That was such a good catch dude.  I have to thank you again for sucking it off my ear.  Phew.  

JK: So, my close but not too close friend, I need your help once again.  A pre-emptive strike this time, if you wish.

JM:  Whatever you need you sexy but clearly heterosexual man of all men...(gulp clearly heard).

JK:  So, I was thinking... your birthday is coming up followed by our Busan concert. And I want to get the tongues wagging again, about us, you know, like maybe we’re doing IT?  

Better they think I’m queer than in a relationship with a woman, right?

JM:  Yeah, for sure.  

JK:  Three steps to my plan:  I’m going to post for your birthday this year.  Yeah.  And I’m going to make it all sexy and stuff, get them all riled up, the fans, you know, but it’s for you...

JM:  A-ha, ok.  So step one thirst trap.  Got it.  Yeah, that’s ok, xxxx won’t mind, she’s already used to it...

JK: Great.  We’re so lucky we have such understanding girlfriends.  Although yyyy did tell me she once sent and ask to Reddit about us.  Seems she was a little unsure about what was going on between us.  Lol, as if... (clearing throat again).

JM:  A-ha.  Yes yes.  Right.

JK:  Next step will be in the live after the concert.  I’ll make a comment about a fan asking me to marry them, and you’ll act all jealous and stuff.  

JM:  Yeah, whatever.  Probably won’t take much acting on my part, wait what? Did I say that out loud?

JK: Ahm...yeah?

...and maybe something else, I haven’t decided yet, I’ll surprise you during the live, but something to get their tongues wagging about us.  I have to protect my heterosexual relationship you know.  

What would people say if they found out I have a girlfriend.  Better they think we’re a couple, right?

JM:  Oh JK, my most masculine of masculine men that I know and want.

Did I just say that out loud again?  Fuck.  Anyways bro, yeah, no probs. We need to protect you.  Poor Tae.  If only we would have helped him before those photos leaked...  

JK:  Yeah, a couple of selfies with him would have overshadowed those pics in a second.  

Oh the shame he has to live with now.  

People knowing he’s with one of the prettiest gals in our industry.  He’s absolutely devastated by it.  

JM:  Ma man, Ma JK, I gotta go now, but no worries, I’ll ride your plan, and anything else you want me to..(giggling heard)

...your bike...god, get out of that dirty mind of yours.  

Anyways, I guess I’ll see you in Busan, yeah?  As we are now not really on speaking terms anymore and are clearly distant.  

SM says it, so it must be true...

JK:  True that.  

So here’s to not seeing you like ever again, unless we need to work together, ugh.  

Have to listen to our fans, they know best.

JM:  Bye Bammie, guess I won’t be seeing you, like ever again... 

Wait, I’m not seeing you now either, cause fans say I’m never at JK’s, so...is this in my imagination?

Narrator:  probably.  It’s definitely in mine.

And there you have it people.

Cut and dry evidence.

Court is out.

Clearly you now KNOW that JK WAS  on Jeju with yyyy, his gf and by now fiancé (our non existent secret agent has notified us that yyyy, the bitch, accepted, fuck her).

[eviltomfoolery]

This was. funny to me

(they could be real btw: [1] [2])

[talaok]

Sunbathing

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: you’ve decided to sunbathe topless, or as your husband Joel would put it, you’ve decided to torture him.

Warnings: needy Joel, kind of sub!joel, unprotected p in v, premature ejaculation, creampie, oral sex (f receiving), come play.

a/n: i sunbathed topless for the first time and well this wrote itself

"You've seen my boobs before babe" A soft laugh bubbled up your throat as you turned your head left.

He wasn't even pretending not to be staring.

"Not like this"

You smiled, "what does that even mean?"

"not out... here"

You lowered your sunglasses to see him better, tilting your head to ask for further explanation

Yes you were outside, by the pool of the beautiful summer house you'd rented, but you didn't get how that made any difference, they were the same boobs he'd seen hours prior in your bed.

"I'm not used to not doing anything about them"

"ah" you hummed "is it that hard?"

You didn't even need to look at the smirk painting his face to regret your choice of words.

"yeah babydoll, it's real hard"

You only needed to lower your gaze a little to asses his statement.

"You're incorrigible"

"And you're torturin' me darlin'"

"How am I torturing you?" you laughed "I'm just taking advantage of the privacy we have to get a good tan"  

"and besides, I seem to remember how hard it is for you to see me with the whole bikini on too"

He sat up, the sunbed squeaking as he faced you.

"It ain't my fault if my wife's so pretty it hurts"

"you get so dramatic when you're horny" you chuckled, rolling your eyes.

He smiled, letting his gaze wander all over your body for a good minute, before getting back at your face

"nothin's gonna happen is it?" his tone was full of hope nonetheless

"no baby" you shook your head

He sighed, dramatically letting his head fall to his chest

"I'll have a swim then"

"have fun honey"

__ __ __

"darlin'?"

Not even ten minutes had passed, and that scene from the Barbie movie with the "Ken! Go for a walk or something" line couldn't not pop into your head.

"yes?"

He was standing right next to your sunbed, dripping wet and blocking out the sun.

"don't ya need sunscreen?"

A soft smile pulled at your lips.

Ten minutes, that's how long it took for him to come up with that.

"I put it on already"

He wasn't gonna give up, not on the first try.

"how long ago?"

"an hour, I think"

"the sun's real strong now doll," he said, drying his hair with a towel before throwing it on his bed "I think it's best if you put some more on… I can do it for you if you don't feel like it"

You chuckled, looking up at him, but he stayed in character, continuing to look oh-so worried about your safety.

"Somehow I knew that offer was coming"

"'m just worried about my wife, 's all"

he'd crouched down, taking your hand in his

"mh-mh" you hummed, sarcasm tracing your tone

"can't have you get sunburt now, can we?"

"no, we can't" you played along, smiling at him

"'f course" he murmured, leaning down to leave a soft kiss on your lips as he grabbed the sunscreen.

"I'm so lucky to have such a caring husband"

"I'm the only lucky one babydoll"

He gave you one more kiss, before he leaned away and got to work.

He squeezed some cream into his hand, but to your surprise, his hands didn't land where you'd expected them to-

Only his eyes were betraying him. They were only on one, or actually two things even when it was your legs he was massaging.

The coldness of the cream and his hands felt good against your warm body, so much you couldn't help but hum appreciatively.

"feels good?"

"yeah baby" you breathed as his hands made their way to your thighs.

It always amazed you how hands so big, rough, and strong were able to be so gentle and soft on you.

You couldn't deny the shivers running up your body when his fingers reached your inner thighs, getting close to your core.

"what's that?" your husband was smirking like a cat, as he dedicated himself much too long on that spot.

"I didn't say anything"

If he thought this was gonna work, he was wrong. It was too hot, and you were too relaxed to do what he so obviously wanted to do... although you both knew how much you liked seeing him desperate...

He still didn't touch your boobs, no, next were your shoulders, then your arms, and then... when he felt on the brink of exploding, when he couldn't stop himself anymore, he squeezed a generous amount of sunscreen in his hands, and oh so gently started massaging your tits.

He couldn't stop a soft groan from fleeing his lips.

It felt amazing- of course it felt amazing, but you didn't wanna give him the satisfaction, and this was mostly for him, not for you, so your eyes remained closed as you pretended like it was nothing.

But that only lasted so long, because Joel could endure just about 30 seconds of that before he was bending down, and his mouth was sucking your nipple.

"Joel!" you gasped, your eyes snapping open just in time to see him climb onto you to straddle your waist, and then go right back to groping and licking and sucking your nipples like it was his life long duty.

"baby you're all wet" you tried complaining, but the smile on your lips was everlasting.

He looked so damingly cute like this, looking up at you with those big doe eyes as he worshipped your tits.

"so are you"

And yeah so what if you were- there's only so much a woman can do in front of this.

A soft laugh spilled from your lips as your hand went to find a place in his hair, your back arching to offer more of yourself to him.

"I don't even know how good it is for you to be licking sunscreen"

The look he gave you made it very clear he didn't give one single fuck.

And just when you were about to protest again, his teeth had gently bit your nipple, and a moan had spilled from your lips.

he took that as an incentive to go further, his hand slowly sliding down your belly, between your bodies, until it was seeping underneath your bikini bottoms.

"babe-" you stopped him, your voice breathless

His hand stopped on your mound as he groaned in frustration.

You could feel his rock-hard cock on you since the moment he straddled you- the man was desperate.

"please doll" he murmured against the soft skin of your chest in between kisses "Gimmie something-anything” he pleaded “Have mercy on your poor husband"

Your response was mixed between a laugh and a moan

"I can take care of you if you want"

He shook his head, his teeth grazing your nipple "Need to feel you darlin’"

Again, a soft giggle rumbled from your chest

"’S too hot to have sex here baby"

His hand had gotten out of your bikini to reach the other on your waist.

"the pool- the ground? fuck- anywhere you want sugar, just tell me where"

His clothed hard-on was rubbing against your core now, and fuck but once again you’d succumbed to Joel and his goddamn irresistible neediness.

"bring me back into the house"

It was like he’d been waiting his whole life to hear those words.

In a haze of kisses and lust, he’d picked you up, letting you hold onto him by wrapping your arms and legs around his body as he hurriedly walked into the house.

He didn’t make it far enough to encounter a single surface- and perhaps that was because he’d stopped looking and placed you against the wall the moment he’d passed the threshold.

His mouth was on your tits again, his cock was out, and his fingers had pulled your bikini to the side.

He said nothing as he slowly began entering you, the only sounds in the room being your moan as you threw your head back, and the groan he emitted, muffled by your skin.

“Oh fuck” you cried once he bottomed out.

Your husband was a very gifted man.

"'m not gonna last"

He sounded like the mere act of talking was taking all of his energy, and yet he was thrusting up into you like it was a matter of life or death.

"'s ok"

"I've been hard since you took your top off" he murmured, his breath fanning over your chest “you-you-jesus”

Your left hand passed through his hair, softly soothing him.

“‘S alright baby, don’t wait for me”

“You’re too fuckin’-” he tried to speak, but he was interrupted by yet another groan

“What?” you taunted him, a smirk pulling at your lips “what is it baby?”

His eyes were wide with desperation as he looked up at you, as his mouth stole languid kisses from your tits.

“Too hot- too goddamn perfect”

You bit down a grin at that, still stroking his hair

“I love you baby” you breathed, his cock reaching the deepest, most fucking amazing spot inside you in the meantime.

The moment those words left your lips your husband was fucked- the only words he was able to mutter were a series of -fuckshitgoddamn- before he inevitably reached his peak, filling you up with rope after rope of come that never seemed to end.

He remained like that for a little while, buried inside you, eyes closed, mouth still connected with your boob, until you left a gentle kiss on the crown of his head, and he woke up from his heavenly trance.

He let out a soft groan as he slipped out of you, and took his time letting you down.

You were smiling at him with that soft smile that melted his insides right up, and he couldn’t help but lean in and kiss it, kiss you like you were a soft delicate thing that he was scared of breaking.

“I love you more” he promised, kissing you again, even if you were smiling.

“Feel better now?”

You said it like he was a kid with a stomach bug, and he couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Yeah darlin’” he murmured against your mouth “thank you”

“You don’t have to thank me” you laughed, but he was already shaking his head

“Yes I do”

And without further explanation, he’d dropped to his knees.

He slid your bikini to the side once again, looking up at you with only adoration in his eyes.

“Baby you don’t have to” you tried to reason with him, but his mouth was already latched to your clit, and your hand had already flown to his hair.

He remained on your bud long enough to make you desperate, and then he started focusing on your whole core, his tongue lapping between your folds with what could only be described as feral hunger.

His come was everywhere, and yet he didn’t care, he was happy tasting the mix of your fluids, because that’s how Joel was- a nasty nasty man- only for you.

So much so that you felt his tongue enter your hole, simulating what he was doing just minutes before with his cock.

“Fuck-babe-”

Your moans were breathless, more like whines, like prayers.

You were looking at him as he was looking at you and Jesus... He looked fucking heavenly.

His hair all tussled from your fingers, his blown-out pupils, his never-stopping tongue-

“Joel” you cried, but he didn’t dare speak a word as he went back to your clit.

“Shit-baby- god!”

You had to tighten your hold on his hair as your orgasm crept up your body- and it was as you heard him groan with pleasure, as he sucked your clit into his mouth like a man starved, that it all came crumbling down, and you felt your body light on fire as your climax took over.

You were moaning and crying into the air for a good minute before you were sane again.

Only Joel hadn’t stopped eating you out for a single second, and even then, he looked like he had no intention of doing so

“Baby-baby” you whimpered, having to literally pull him away from your core.

He was smiling like a kid, and you couldn’t help but follow suit.

He put your bikini back in place, and then stood up, his hands lingering on your waist

“You’re crazy”

He couldn’t help but kiss you before answering,

“You make me”

[pettyprocrastination]

"sydcarmy better be endgame this season!" i can guarantee you Sydney has three friends in her phone going "do you want me to kill that guy for you" after every shift.

[jakeperalta]

the taylor swift ai porn issue is such a bleak reminder of how inescapable the horrors of misogyny are. like obviously there's the talk of sort of "celebrity problems" like treatment by the tabloids etc, but beyond that there's just the constant heinous shit that women seemingly cannot escape no matter what. it doesn't matter that she (as well as other female celebrities) is extremely rich and famous and successful and has basically as much privilege and power as it is possible for any person to have, ultimately that's still not enough to escape the revenge porn and sexual assault and stalking and harassment. like there is literally no level of power a woman can have that puts her out of reach of all the men who hate women and want to control and humiliate and subjugate us in any way they can.

[saccharinescorpion]

it's a small thing but something i've noticed about Witch From Mercury is that this is probably the highest amount of plus-sized women i've seen in a single anime