#Dice-wizard ask

[dice-wizard]

I am for my self writing a design document for a Troupe style TTRPG. I was wondering what systems you think would be good for something like that.

What are you looking for in your troupe style game, and where do you want your mechanical focus?

Example: are we talking about a group of soldiers and war? Or are we talking about generations of wizards? Is it a game about leading a pirate crew?

I have lots of suggestions but I'd like some more info!

[lovecolibri]

Brennan: *laughing* the die FLEW off the table.

Lou: Can I use this roll?

Brennan: You're determining- we will play this game for years, you are determining, right now, if for the next several years, we take floor dice or not. Do we take floor dice?

Lou: I know what this dice is, and I'm gonna look at everyone else and I'm gonna say, do we take floor dice?

Erika: I also know what it is.

Lou: Okay, so, Aabria, Brennan, do we take floor dice?

Brennan: Aabria? I have to be impartial, I'm the Dungeon Master. Do we take floor dice?

Lou: We'll play other games where you're not the GM, so you have a say. It's gonna come down to you two. Do we take floor dice?

Brennan: I don't think we do.

Aabria: You know what? I don't think we do.

Lou: Great, well. We'll leave that nat 20 on the ground. *all laughing* We don't take floor dice, so that nat 20 stays there, and instead we take the five.

[stuff-and-such-art]

Jack and his many many books, requested by AlexN from Dice Shame!! Who knows which are his read and to-read piles. Titles were provided by members of the dice shame discord! Y'all are awesome!

[jessica-problems]

Seeing @thydungeongal constantly wrestling with people interpreting her posts about D&D in ways that seem completely alien to me has convinced me that there are actually multiple completely distinct activities both being referred to as "playing D&D" Before we begin, I want to stress that I'm not saying one of these groups is Playing The Game Wrong or anything, but there seems to be a lot of confusion and conflict caused by people not being aware of the distinction. In fact, either one works just fine if everyone's on the same page. So far, I think I've identified at least two main groups. And nobody seems to realize the distinction between these groups even exists. The first group of people think of "Playing D&D" as, well, more or less like any other board game. Players read the whole rulebook all the way through, all the players follow the instructions, and the gameplay experience is determined by what the rules tell each player to do. This group thinks of the mechanics as, not exactly the *whole* game, but certainly the fundamental skeleton that everything else is built on top of. People in the second group think of "Playing D&D" as referring to, hanging out with their friends, collaboratively telling a story inspired by some of the elements in the rulebooks, maybe rolling some dice to see what happens when they can't decide. This group thinks of the mechanics of the game as, like... a spice to sprinkle on top of the story to mix things up. (if you belong to this second group, and think I'm explaining it poorly, please let me know, because I'm kind of piecing things together from other people saying things I don't understand and trying to reverse engineer how they seem to be approaching things.) I think this confusion is exacerbated by the fact that Wizards of the Coast markets D&D as if these are the same thing. They emphatically are not. the specific rules laid out of the D&D rulebooks actually direct players to tell a very specific kind of story. You can tell other stories if you ignore those rules (which still counts as "playing D&D" under the second definition, but doesn't under the first)And I think people in both groups are getting mad because they assume that everyone is also using their definition. For example, there's a common argument that I've seen play out many times that goes something like this:

A: "How do I mod D&D to do [insert theme here]?" B: "D&D is really not built for that, you should play [other TTRPG] that's designed for it instead" A: "But I don't want to learn a whole new game system!" B: "It will be easier to just learn a whole new system than mod D&D to do that." A: "whatever, I'll just mod D&D on my own" And I think where this argument comes from is the two groups described above completely talking past each other. No one understands what the other person is trying to say. From A's perspective, as a person in the second group, it sounds like A: "Anyone have some fun inspirations for telling stories about [insert theme here]?" B: "You can't sit around a table with your friends and tell a story about that theme! That's illegal." A: "But we want to tell a story about this theme!" B: "It's literally impossible to do that and you're a dumb idiot baby for even thinking about it." A: "whatever, jerk, I'll figure it out on my own."

--- Whereas, from B's perspective, the conversation sounds like A: "How do I change the rules of poker to be chess, and not be poker?" B: "uhhh, just play chess?" A: "But I already know how to player poker! I want to play poker, but also have it be chess!" B: "what the hell are you talking about? What does that even mean. They're completely different games." A: "I'm going to frankenstein these rules together into some kind of unplayably complex monster and you can't stop me!" ---

So both people end up coming away from the conversation thinking the other person is an idiot. And really, depending on how you concieve of what it means to "play D&D" what is being asked changes considerably. If you're only planning to look through the books for cool story inspiration, maybe borrow a cool little self contained sub-system here or there, then yeah, it's very possible to steal inspiration for your collaborative story from basically anywhere. Maybe some genres are kind of an awkward fit together, but you can make anything work with a little creativity.

If, however, you are thinking of the question in terms of frankensteining two entire board games together, then it becomes a massively difficult or even outright nonsensical idea. For example, for skill checks, the game Shadowrun has players roll a pool of several d6 at once, then count up how many rolled above a target value to see how well a character succeeded at a task. The whole game is full of specific rules about adding or removing dice from the pool, effects happening if you roll doubles, rerolling only some of the dice, and all sorts of other things that simply do not translate to rolling a single d20 for skill checks. On a basic level, the rules of the games work very differently. Trying to make them compatible would be much harder than just learning a new game from scratch. Now, neither of these approaches is exactly *wrong*, I guess, but personally, I find the rules of TTRPGs to be fascinating and worth taking the time to engage with all the weird little nuances and seeing what shakes out. Also, the first group, "TTRPG as fancy board game" is definitely the older and more widespread one. I kind of get the impression that the second group largely got into D&D through actual play podcasts, but I don't have any actual data to back that up. So, if you're in the second group, who thinks of D&D as basically a context for collaborative storytelling first and a game second, please let me know if I'm wildly misunderstanding how you approach D&D. Because I'm pretty sure it would save us a whole lot of stupid misunderstandings.

[sinsydia]

Do you have any headcanons for Sebastian's tattoos?

Yes! In total 13.

1. weird smiley face where the nose was a mole (his right side of ribcage) that Sam tattooed. 2. A butterfly. Abigail tattooed this one.

3. D20 dice mostly dedicated to Sam and their nights playing DnD. :3

4. "Farmer" tattoo. 5. Krobus. 6. synthesizer keyboard. 7. junimo tattoo. 8. A witch.

9. frog with a wizard hat.

10. upside down umbrella filled with rain water and a frog peeking out of the collected water with a rain cloud above it.

11. A tattoo dedicated to one of his favorite movies: Mysterium

12. He has a back tattoo dedicated to the mountains.

13. And finally, a robin. Dedicated to his mum :3

Thanks for asking! Here's a sebastian/sam/abigail at zuzu tattoo shop to go along with your ask 🖤

[fangswbenefits]

Backfire

(amazing art by @dopepoisonivyoncrack 🥺🩷 thank you so much!)

Summary: You should have known better than to make Astarion jealous, and now you are left to deal with the consequences.

Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav

Warnings: 18+. Jealous/Possessive Astarion. Orgasm denial. Fingering. Edging. PiV. Creampie. Knife (dagger) play. Body worship. Innuendo.

Word count: 3.4k

You vaguely wondered how long it would take to set Astarion off.

He was glancing at you from across the camp, leaning against an oak tree as he twirled a dagger in between his masterful fingers.

The fluid motion broke your concentration for a moment.

A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and you quickly realised he was aware of your attempts.

Shit.

So much for subtlety.

Maybe you should have picked Wyll to test his jealousy as you reckoned it would have been more effective.

But now it was too late.

You feigned innocence as you patted Gale's arm, mindlessly nodding as he happily explained the intricacies of a chicken broth that he was preparing for later.

“See, the essence of this dish lies in getting the proper ingredients,” he went on, dipping the ladle into the steaming pot and stirring it gently before bringing it to his lips. “Hmm. Definitely lacking something, as I suspected.”

“Really? It smells very pleasant,” you said truthfully as the soft breeze wafted the delectable fragrance your way.

Gale raised one finger. “Mushrooms.”

“What?”

He nodded. “It requires a touch of mushrooms to fully bring out its flavour.”

You patted his shoulder with a warm smile. “I’m sure we can do without it.”

But Gale’s enthusiasm immediately wavered, his brows sinking. “Absolutely not. We require a proper meal and a proper meal is what I shall provide.”

Oh.

He stirred the broth again before rummaging through a satchel at his feet. “Well, I don’t suppose you could fetch me a few?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you found that Astarion had vanished.

Shit.

Your plan shattered into pieces as the object of your teasing was nowhere to be seen.

“Could you?”

Gale’s voice snapped you out of your frustration and you found yourself frowning slightly. “What do you mean?”

“I need some mushrooms, my friend.”

Your frown deepened, but you really had no choice now and a refusal would most likely break his heart.

“Where can I find them?”

Gale beamed with a wide grin. “I spotted a few on the side of the road and near some trees as we were setting up camp. I was foolish enough not to pick them and now I’m burdening you.”

You shrugged with a sigh. “It’s no bother. I was the one who asked you to teach me some of your cooking tricks.

“Ah! You should have trained to become a wizard,” he said with an approving nod. “A hungry stomach and an equally hungry mind.”

As much as you wished to return his enthusiasm, you couldn’t help but to feel annoyed at yourself for the appalling attempt at riling Astarion up.

Maybe he had seen right through it and merely walked off, probably chuckling.

But maybe you had stirred something inside him that ultimately caused him to leave.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

You followed Gale’s instructions, nearing a forest area, shaded from the sun as the canopies of the surrounding trees grew denser and branches intertwined with each other above you.

It didn’t take you long to spot a conglomerate of a few rounded caps by the protruding roots of a large and thick oak tree.

Unsheathing your dagger, you squatted down and began dicing through the spongy stalks.

You were halfway through your task, when you felt the cold press of metal resting on the side of your neck, freezing you in place.

A smile crept across your face.

“I don’t suppose you value your life enough if it’s this easy to sneak up on you.” The blade moved upwards and along your jaw, causing you to turn your head. “Darling.”

You flinched away from Astarion’s grasp and both of you rose to your feet in an instant.

“I doubt any foe would be as delicate as you should they intend to truly harm me.”

He twirled his dagger, offering a devious smile. “Point taken.”

As expected, praising him always did wonders. 

And it was absolutely true and equally expected that a skilled rogue could move in the shadows with unmatched prowess. 

But then, the mood shifted as he deepened his smile. “What were you doing back there with Gale?”

Oh?

You cleared your throat, sheathing your blade once again at your hip. “I was merely observing his cooking skills.”

He took a step in your direction.

“Were you, now?”

“Yes.”

He scoffed. “You’re not as subtle as you think you are, darling.”

You allowed yourself to move back with each step he took. “And you’re not as perceptive as you think you are.”

“You weren’t trying to deliberately make me jealous, were you?”

You shook your head, feeling your heart drumming hastily in your chest.

Astarion’s feet only came to a brief halt once your back hit the rough surface of the tree trunk behind you, effectively rendering you immobile.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

A shameless lie that he immediately tackled. “A lousy liar who’s even worse at vexing me,” he tutted before pressing one knee right in between your legs. “I taught you better than this.”

The air in your lungs stilled momentarily as his arms were now on either side of your head, caging you. 

“Gale was the one offering his teachings.”

He dropped one hand below your chin, tapping it teasingly with the side of his blade and tilting your head back. “Please. I highly doubt that dullard could offer anything of value where it really counts.”

“Astarion…” you drawled in delight. “Are you actually jealous?”

His brows furrowed together. “Obviously not.”

Inside, you were thoroughly enjoying how your fleeting attempt had indeed been successful, despite Astarion’s denial.

You could see it in his narrowed crimson eyes and how the faintest of scowls deepened the lines on his handsome face.

That stroked your ego in a way that almost made you shudder.

You tried to ignore how he was now pressing his knee harder.

His lips almost brushed against your and, for a split second, you thought he was going to kiss you, but he tipped his head to the side and you felt his cold touch on your cheek.

A shiver ran down your spine and you gripped his arms.

“What are you doing?”

He chuckled. “Showing you what really counts.”

“And what is that?” you asked, words coming out shaky.

Astarion adored taunting you with words, but he excelled at rendering you speechless with his skilled touch. 

So it came as no surprise when eventually sheathed his blade and had his hand tug your shirt free from the waistband of your trousers, sliding his hand underneath.

This was bad for you.

Terrible, in fact.

He had the upper hand.

And he fucking knew it.

His fingers brushed along your lower abdomen and his voice was raspy in your ear. “If I slide my hand inside… what will I find?”

Your body was too used to him by now to the point that he could have you throbbing for him with little effort.

The knee dropped and you almost whined at the loss of friction against your swelling clit.

“Answer me,” he said, tugging at the waistband.

You swallowed. “Nothing much…”

Was there even a point in deceiving him now? 

Expert fingers tugged at the lacings, loosening the fabric just enough for him to be able to slip underneath, his fingertips gently gliding in between your folds, avoiding your clit altogether. 

But you were wet enough to draw a pleased grunt from him.“What is this, then?”

You gasped, involuntarily clenching around nothing and feeling a gush of wetness spilling as your body reacted in anticipation.

“Use your fingers properly and find out.”

Your taunt didn’t go amiss. “Maybe an apology is in order,” he said, arrogance dripping from each word. “It seems that your foolish attempt at making me jealous has backfired.”

Much to your frustration, your hips rolled into his touch, silently wishing he would stop avoiding your swell.

“How has it backfired?” you managed to say as one finger teased your entrance.

He ignored your question and began trailing kisses along your jawline, his other hand working hurriedly at the front of your shirt.

Of course.

You knew all too well that you’d feel his cock hard enough if he was already this eager to expose your breasts.

One by one, he undid each lacing, and he pulled back just enough for his gaze to drop as the fabric parted and he gently pulled down the binding that held your chest in place.

Your nipples quickly hardened and you rolled your hips once more, causing one of his fingers to slide inside.

He hadn’t intended for that to happen, but he was so transfixed with your breasts that he was caught off guard.

It was the vicious clenches around his finger that snapped him out of it and his lustful eyes met yours. “Give me one reason not to slide out of you.”

You smiled in between gasps as he sank deep inside. “Should I ask Gale what he’d do in your position, then?”

And just like that, Astarion snapped.

A second finger slithered past your tightness and he brought his lips to your ear. “Careful, darling. Choose your words wisely or you’ll be riding your own mage hand instead.”

Oh, this was delicious.

Astarion was visibly annoyed and it did wonders to your confidence. 

It wasn’t easy to get him all worked up, but it only fueled your ego and made you quicken the pace.

Your whimpers increased in intensity and you looped your arms around his neck for added support, lifting one leg to wrap around his waist. The new angle allowed him to go knuckle-deep and you shuddered as his strained erection pressed against his hand nudged him even deeper.

He groaned first, clearly enjoying the newfound friction, and you clenched hard at how his face twisted in pleasure.

“Look over my shoulder,” he suddenly said, his half-hooded eyes finding yours.

Somehow, and in between each roll of your hips, you complied, realising just how close to camp you truly were. Close enough to make out the silhouette of Shadowheart who was now at Gale’s side as he worked on his broth, probably wondering what was taking you so long to bring him some mushrooms.

“What about it?” you asked, a bit louder than intended when he sank all the way in once more.

His lips brushed against yours this time, dragging his fingers back as you clenched desperately around him. “You either keep it down or we’ll have an audience soon enough.”

“Would you mind?”

He stilled abruptly. 

“What? Having Gale hear you coming undone for me?” he taunted as you tried to have him back inside, your hips following his retreating hand. “That he would soon realise he could never provide such bliss to his lover?”

You whined in responde, frustrated that you were now faced with an agonising emptiness.

“See, darling,” he continued, sliding one finger back inside, but not quite deep enough to fully satisfy you. “I can be quite generous when I want to.”

“But what?” you groaned, trying to have him sink deeper to no avail.

There was always a ‘but’.

He placed a kiss to the corner of your mouth before pulling back. “But I am not willing to share your cries of pleasure with anyone else.”

“Then silence me.”

The most devious grin settled on his face and you knew you had just offered a challenge he would gladly take.

And with his other hand, you watched as he brought the handle of his dagger close to your lips.

“Open.”

Your eyes widened and your heart immediately skipped a beat. “Astarion…”

“As much as I’d love to have your lips wrapped around my cock,” he said with a click of his tongue, parting your lips for him. “I am more interested in finding out how quiet my dagger can make you.”

You clenched around him so fiercely he actually growled.

Your teeth sank into the handle and you readied yourself for what was to come.

Astarion trailed your lower lip affectionately as it wrapped around the leather wrappings and a second finger joined the first, the heel of his palm rubbing against your clit as he pumped in and out, never breaking eye contact with you.

The moans and whimpers and gasps that slipped from you were being effectively muffled and you were thankful he had decided to silence you this way, because when the third finger nudged at your entrance, you could only roll your eyes shut as your bit hard around his dagger.

“Surely you can take one more,” he teased, his voice low.

You eagerly nodded, rolling your hips into him, knowing you were more than ready for the added thickness.

It slid inside painfully slowly and the stretch had you gasping and nearly dropping his dagger, which he promptly secured in place.

“Now, I know it’s not as thick as my cock, but I am sure you can keep those pretty lips wrapped around it,” he taunted.

You groaned with a nod eager to please.

Eager to come undone for him.

The combination of being so full of him and how he allowed you to rub your clit on his palm was too much. The lewd sounds were almost too obscene and you gripped both hands together, holding onto the remainder of the sanity you had left.

For a brief moment, he allowed you to ride three of his fingers, giving you the illusion that you’d reach your peak easily and rather quickly.

But Astarion wasn’t forgiving even if he had been rather generous thus far. 

And you should have known that your actions would have consequences.

His generosity came to an abrupt halt just as you felt the familiar coil down below becoming more and more overwhelming, your body quickly reaching the point of no return.

Your gasps were now becoming more erratic and you were visibly struggling to keep a hold of the dagger in your mouth.

And then you felt a painful emptiness as he pulled out from you at once.

He chuckled when you groaned in sheer frustration, not allowing you to spit the dagger out and curse him to the Nine Hells.

You felt the urge to cry as he denied you from reaching your high, your hips still moving on their own accord in the hopes of finding his fingers again.

“Now, now,” he tutted, caressing your flushed cheek with his thumb, a single tear streaming down your face. “You didn’t think I would be that generous, did you?” 

Fuck you!

Your words came out muffled, but he understood enough to continue his taunt. “I know you want to, but not before I have some assurances first.”

Impatience took over you, but you managed to arch an inquisitive brow at him.

He pressed his lips where his thumb had been, kissing your tear away. “Tell me no one can make you feel like this.”

Your eyes widened once more as he pulled the dagger from your teetering teeth.

“I’m all pointy ears, love,” he urged, meeting your eyes. “Go on.”

Astarion adored being praised, but this was just cruel.

Your teasing hadn’t been solid enough to warrant such punishment. You had been so close to your peak… 

“Astarion…”

He shook his head with a frown. “No, no, no. You do not get ‘cuddly and sweet Astarion’ after what you’ve pulled, sweetheart.”

Your hands came to grip his shoulders almost pleadingly, but you knew you had no other choice if you were to reach your climax anytime soon.

“No one can… no one…” you whispered, your voice cracking.

But he wasn’t satisfied.

Of course he wasn’t.

It took more than that to fill his ego.

“I’ve ruined you for anyone else,” he said with an intense smile. “You know that, don’t you?”

You immediately nodded, fully agreeing and not out of despair.

“Can you be good for me, then?”

Another nod as you tried to nudge him closer with the leg wrapped around his waist just to prove your point.

“Your pleasure is mine,” he said, bringing the handle of his dagger back to your lips and, this time, you quickly wrapped them around it. “My pleasure is yours.”

He removed his hand from inside your trousers and he pushed your leg down so he could tug them down your legs to give him better access.

Once you had slipped out of them, he eagerly wrapped you around his waist as he tugged at the front of his own trousers, until he freed his cock.

You gave it a quick glance, pleased to find the tip glistening with precum.

“Bite down hard, darling,” he warned, aligning you with him. “I know you adore how my cock stretches you.”

You did as you were told and he sank into you in one swift thrust of his hips.

He was all the way in and your back arched as he steadied you with both hands.

The first clenches around his cock made him mumble a string of curses as he tried to adjust to your tightness.

It didn’t take long for him to set the pace, slowly fucking you against the oak tree.

You weren’t going to last long from this new angle, and neither was he. It would be rather easy to get him to lose all control if you lost yours first. Astarion was rarely able to withstand your contractions as you rode out your climax.

His eyes were locked on yours, but something caught your attention.

Suddenly, your hazy eyes managed to focus on the camp nearby and you watched as someone seemed to be approaching in the distance.

Oh… fuck…

Was it Gale?

No.

It was Wyll.

You clenched around him almost panicking, until you realised he wasn’t coming any closer and had simply taken a turn down the hill, waving at Gale.

Your mind was too overtaken by how his cock felt inside you to care about the context of that exchange. 

Having Astarion being so eager to prove you that no one else could fuck you this way, had you undulating your body against his, always making sure he could bure himself fully inside you with each thrust.

Oh.

You were too close.

“Eyes on me,” he hissed, punctuating each word with a snap of his hips.

Dangerously close.

Especially when you met his crimson eyes again.

And you almost topped over the edge at once when you saw him doing something you had never witnessed before.

He finally broke eye contact and his gaze was once again on your breasts and hardened nipples.

And then…

With his free hand, he pulled his own shirt up the length of his body, securing the hem in between his own teeth, fangs digging into the fabric.

What…

He wrapped his arm around your torso and pulled you into him, your breasts pressed against him. The sight was breathtaking as you felt your nipples rub briefly against his, earning a guttural groan from him.

Astarion allowed you to sink all the way down his cock and you could no longer hold back the intense wave of pleasure that came crashing down as you felt his balls pressed against you.

You were biting down so fiercely on the handle of his dagger, you feared youd snap it in half as your first contractions tore through your body.

He pressed your back hard against the tree, and with a final grunt into the crook of your neck, he began spilling inside you, allowing you to squeeze his cum with each of your rhythmic clenches.

You clawed at the back of his shirt, feeling your mind blank as you came down from the overwhelming height of your pleasure mixed with his.

It was hard to steady your breaths and you weren’t sure you had ever come this hard in your life, but it felt like a shared sentiment as Astarion remained buried inside you even when his cum began to spill and drip.

The dagger fell to the ground and you gasped for air, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head through his messy curls.

“Gods…” he eventually groaned, showing no intention of pulling out. 

You grunted in agreement, caressing his damp hair.

“Should I tease you again?” you almost chuckled in between heated pants. “Wyll next?”

He pulled back and shot you a murderous glare. “Don’t you dare…”

Masterlist

[thydungeongal]

Anyway so there's actually a funny thought that I realized just now: old-school D&D (the variety which usually don't have any knowledge checks or the like and in many instances do encourage players learning about things through play) actually benefits from players not knowing every monster weakness, and I don't mean this in any asinine "players need to explain why they might know it in depth before they get the privilege" way, but that in general not having all knowledge immediately works better for old-school D&D: because if players realize that their characters aren't doing any damage to the monster they always have lots of options, including retreat and evasion. And actually because gaining that knowledge isn't reliant on randomness characters will have to experiment and try out or look for the information. Especially if that monster becomes a standby it allows players to then put their newly gained knowledge to the test.

And that's where we get to the fun part: modern D&D as a fun skirmish wargame very much would benefit from players being able to express system mastery by being able to retain monster knowledge, and this idea that players need to roll high enough to grant characters the privilege of using that information actually runs counter to what actually makes for fun, rewarding play in Hasbro editions of D&D. Rolling knowledge checks each round to grant you access to knowledge that you already have is non-gameplay, and arguably runs counter to the fun skirmish wargame powering the combat system. As I keep saying, in the context of the fun skirmish combat game "Does the character figure out that fire hurts trolls" isn't fun gameplay since it's just a binary dice roll to see if your character can do a thing, but "There's a troll and a Wizard counterspelling the party's fireballs" is fun gameplay that relies on transparency.

So the older editions, where at least in OSR circles players demonstrating system mastery is an accepted part of the game, are the ones that would actually harmonize most with monsters being unknown to characters, while newer editions, which due to this oral tradition of asking characters to justify their choices via knowledge checks, would actually benefit from transparency for the sake of gameplay.

Now a game besides modern D&D could benefit from a different approach to monster knowledge, but like unsurprisingly the D&D approach to knowledge skills in general kinda sucks (I've spoken of this before as well).

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: D&D Part 7

Alien DM: Can you explain something to me? Human Necromancer: What is it? Alien: Why is your sub class a seamstress? Human Necromancer: You ever wonder why I remove the limbs of every foe we’ve defeated. Human Paladin: Because you pledged your soul to the darkness leaving me pondering why I have left you alive for this long? Human Necromancer: Close but not quite. Human Necromancer: My raise the dead skill allows me to raise one undead creature at a time as a thrall. Human Necromancer: It does not however specify the size of said creature. Human Artificer: Oh my gods…. Alien DM: What? Human Artificer: Is that why you wanted my bag of holding?!!?? Alien DM: What does that mean? What is happening? Human Artificer: He’s been stitching the limbs together to form a single creature. Alien DM: *Realization kicks in* Alien DM: *Turns to necromancer* How big is your creature? Human Necromancer: By last count three miles long and all of it very grabby. Human Paladin: *Vomits* Human Artificer: So you call it out of my bag when you need it? Human Necromancer: Pretty much. Human Necromancer: I call it “Little Bessie”. ------------------

Alien DM: Metal gates slam down from the ceiling, trapping your party in a narrow corridor. Alien DM: You hear the sound of heavy footsteps towards you and from the shadows emerges the dark lord Drakholm himself. Alien DM: His fiery red eyes look down at you all through his corrupted helm. Alien DM: “I have waited-“ Human Wizard: Question. Alien DM: What? Human Wizard: I would like to ask a quick question. Alien DM: You are cutting the dark lord’s speech off before it has even begun. Human Paladin: It is rude. Human Rogue: The man has killed, like, a thousand people. Human Rogue: Do we really care if we’re rude to him? We’re here to kill him! Human Paladin: Good point. Fuck’m them. Alien DM: *Sighs* Fine, what is your question? Human Wizard: Are these metal gates solid gates or a portcullis? Alien DM: It is a portcullis. Human Wizard: I cast Acid Splash through the metal bars and directly at the dark lord as he is giving his speech. Alien DM: You…..what? Human Rogue: No, no; he’s got a point here. Human Rogue: What kind of villain would expect someone to interrupt his big monologue? Alien DM: I guess….roll for it. *Rolls dice, and passes* Alien DM: You fire a glob of acid at the dark lord as he is giving his speech. Alien DM: He was entirely unprepared for the attack and the glob hits him right in the face passing through the opening in his helmet. Alien DM: He lets out the briefest of screams before his head is reduced to a pile of mush. Human Paladin: I am surprised with how easy that was. Alien DM: I hate you all…..so….so very much. ---------------------------------

Alien Shop Keeper: That’ll be seventeen gold pieces. Human Paladin: That’s robbery! Alien Shop Keeper: Those area my prices. Human Rogue: You know that paladins kill the sinful, right? Alien Shop Keeper: So? Human Rogue: Robbery is considered a sin. Human Paladin: *Draws sword* Alien Shop Keeper: Oh no… ------------------------------------- Alien DM: Suddenly, a group of bandits leap from the bushes! Human Druid: I cast mold earth and turn the dirt underneath them to quicksand. Alien DM: *Rolls dice, fails* Alien DM: Well…..not how I expected that encounter to end. Alien DM: Are you going to bring them up to interrogate? Human Druid: In another three minutes. Alien DM: But these bandits can only hold their breath for one minute. Human Druid: You heard what I said. ---------------------------------- Human Wizard: I cast fireball! Alien DM: The fireball direct hits against the enemy troll in the center of town. Human Wizard: YES! Alien DM: It does absolutely no damage however as it is a rock troll. Human Wizard: Oh. Alien DM: The flames roll off it harmlessly and catch several surrounding buildings on fire. Human Wizard: Oh hell….. Alien DM: The citizens of the buildings run out in fear only to be picked up by rock troll and eaten. Human Wizard: Jesus Christ!!! Alien DM: And then the puppies wander into the street. Human Wizard: For fucks sake just kill my character now and spare the puppies! --------------------------------------------- Human Artificer: BEHOLD! Human Artificer: *Removes shroud* My latest invention! Alien Rogue: What is it? Human Artificer: The ultimate undead fighting weapon! Alien Priest: Interesting, how does it work? Human Artificer: Within this sphere is a small amount of explosive powder mixed with blessed salt. Human Artificer: When the charge goes off it sends breaches the secondary holy water cylinder and sprays the entire area with holy water and blessed sand. Alien Priest: So you’ve made. Human Artificer: A HOLY HANDGRENADE!!!!! --------------------------------------------- Alien DM: The monstrous dragon roars causing the nearby mountains to shake and shatter. Human Warlock: I throw the bag of pebbles I have been holding into its mouth. Alien DM: Really? That’s it? Human Warlock: I also despell the shrinking charm I had placed on the pebbles. Alien DM: Wait, they were shrunk? Alien DM: What was their original size? Human Warlock: Boulders. Human Warlock: They were the size of boulders. Alien DM: *Defeat sigh* Alien DM: *Rolls dice and fails again* Alien DM: The pebbles rapidly expand in the dragon’s throat, suffocating the dragon and killing it. Human Warlock: I roll to skin the dragon! Alien DM: Of course you do. ----------------------------------------- Alien DM: What is the point of having these elaborate boss fights if you keep killing them with simple spells? Human Rogue: Well, you can always say it is not allowed. Alien DM: Wait, what? Human Paladin: Yeah; you can say if something is allowed or not. Human Paladin: The DM has that kind of power. Alien DM: I DO!?!?!?!?!!? Human Warlock: Wait……what do you think DM stands for? Alien DM: It stands for something? Human Wizard: “Dungeon” “Master” Alien DM: 0_0

[nerdy-grimiore]

. : Guide - Making Dungeons and Dragons character servitors : .

There are many different ways to incorporate TTRPG mechanics into your practice! We all know about dice divination, but i’ll be approaching this from a pop culture spirit work/energy work perspective. Stuff here applies to Baldur’s gate 3 too!

“So, where do I begin?”

Well, do you have a bunch of unused character sheets? Turn them into a servitor!

“Wait, what’s a Servitor?”

Glad you asked! A servitor is a type of thoughtform that you, the practitioner creates for a magical purpose! People make them for protection, enhancing manifestations, or to carry out specific tasks! Like any magical creature, they need to be ‘fed’ and taken care of properly. Sometimes servitors are/become aware they are servitors and wish to leave. Personally, I intentionally make them know this and make it the end goal to ‘release’ them to be on their own!

So now that we’ve got that covered, let’s talk about how you can make your character sheets into one!

First off, race.

To me, Races and sub races aren’t key to making your servitor. Just keep in mind how the general population of the race acts in D&D lore. For example, High elves are very kind and sweet, and would be good for self-love and divination. While drow are much more sadistic and cruel, and would be good for baneful work.

Second, class.

Now this is where things get interesting. Class determines what your character will be able to accomplish! I’ll put my personal correspondences below, but feel free to come up with your own!

. : Barbarian : .

Energy work, Protection, Motivation

. : Bard : .

Creativity, Inspiration, Protection

. : Cleric : .

Divination, Spirit/Deity work, Healing

. : Druid : .

Healing, Herbalism, Elemental work

. : Fighter : .

Protection, Warding, Baneful reversal

. : Monk : .

Manifestation, Meditation, Protection

. : Paladin : .

Warding, Deity/Entity Work, Healing

. : Ranger : .

Familiar/Pet care, Baneful magic, Protection

. : Rogue : .

Baneful magic, Warding, Baneful reversal

. : Sorcerer : .

Divination, Spellwork, Manifestation

. : Warlock : .

Deity/Entity work, Baneful magic, Protection

. : Wizard : .

Spellwork, Divination, Enchantment

Now that you’ve chosen your characters race and class, you should consider drawing them and making a sigil to summon/dismiss them! This’ll help make them recognisable to you and it’ll aid you in your ritual to create them.

That’ll be all for this guide! If you have any extra questions, feel free to ask them in my ask box!

Here’s some more resources for servitor care and creation. Take care!

https://primexaos.com/what-are-servitors-and-how-to-create-your-own/

[dice-wizard]

I loved Exalted 1e, and I'm excited to hear about Essence. Will it include rules for non-Exalt PCs?

The Essence core book doesn't; there just wasn't room for 10 Exalted and all their Charms to fit in anything else.

However, don't be disheartened - there's an entire section of a chapter and an appendix dedicated to explaining how to make your own stuff AND a companion book (which I think you might get too if you pre-order) which will have those rules.

Essence also introduces the concept of Universal Charms - basic powers everyone can use, which makes giving special abilities to non Exalted PCs extremely easy. And the milestone advancement system means you don't have to figure out how much XP non Exalts should spend on things.

It's literally never been easier to drum up your own types of guys.

[dogs2shouldvote]

during my latest relisten of taz balance, i recorded every line i found even the slightest bit funny with zero context, not even who said it (though some are pretty obvious). here’s all my favorites!!

“i’m probably studying.. my cantrips”

“just say mastrubating, dad”

“don’t come in mom i’m studying my canteips!!”

.

“yeah you’ll do any dumb shit”

.

“it’s like a bag of holding! but for.. ass.”

.

“do we know how much damage we did to him?”

“six damage, you said it out loud with your mouth.”

.

“it should be in the player’s handbook! get your salty snack to enjoy while you play dnd”

.

“my grandpa says it’s rude to whisper. especially on a train!”

.

“i’m not going to go toe to toe with a crab while youre armed with a terrible scottish accent and travis doesn’t even have his sheild. i’m out! … did i say travis? i mean leman kessler.”

“nope! that was wrong all the way around.”

.

“i’m cosplaying taako right now, as a stupid man.”

.

“who’s just rolling dice? who is doing secret checks that i don’t know about?”

.

“i always waste my 20’s on perception checks. like i give a shit.”

.

“it’s completely conceivable he would have a name tag.”

“IN A GANG?”

.

“like a pelt??? like a bramble*pelt*?????”

.

“is there a math check? what are you talking about?”

“yeah it’s your fucking brain. you use your brain to add numbers together”

“16”

“what are you fucking doing??”

.

“griffin i love you youre my brother. but if my skill called history doesn’t literally help me with history trivia questions in a category called history what are we FUCKING doing here??”

.

“can i ask you a question? are you guys mean to everyone?”

.

“fus-ro-over dere”

.

“that one was actually a badass bernie sanders”

.

“hey thug! what’s your name? i’m about to tentacle your dick.”

.

“a d6 is like some dice ass dice. that’s some monopoly shit.”

.

“i thought you were saying merle, it’s his bread and his body, take 2d6 healing points”

.

“you two remind me of something… you remind me of the babe! and then i throw the glass sphere at them.”

.

“make a constitution saving throw to see if you can eat this fucking rock with your mouth.”

.

“dungeons and dragons is a. great game.”

.

“my name is magnus burnsides”

“marchins burchens”

.

“magnus would not say that. however, travis would.”

.

“can we please not talk about chekhov’s bush?”

.

“we’ve got a ball, a sack, and a tool!”

“everything is gross here in dnd.”

.

“only losers smoke, isaac.”

“i give isaac an hour long lecture about the dangers of smoking.”

.

“i’m just gonna put my mouth down there and go buck wild”

.

“there’s a lot of go cart tracks called the adventure zone and i’ve been working with my lawyer to shut them all down forever”

.

“does taako fish?”

“yeah taako fishes.”

.

“a rock hard-“

*justin, clint, and travis laugh*

“come ON, *really*?”

.

“taako rushes in!”

“what! magnus follows him.”

“merle’s good out here!”

“WHAT is going on?”

.

“how do you not have a d6 it comes with every board game”

“my daughter-“

“eats them for power???”

.

“uhhh how much health do you have.”

“im not gonna tell you.”

.

“let’s see… i am going to hurt jenkins. with a magical spell.”

.

“this is about to become the taako show starring taako.”

.

“BLUFF FUCKING BLUFF O’CLOCK?? WHAT IS THIS, HALF PAST PERSUASION TIME??”

.

“i’m not laughing in game” *justin fucking loses it*

.

“she’s the best at burning shit ever.”

.

“traaav griffin got to do his show for so long and now he’s gonna destroy yours.”

.

“fucking lup finds like. a gun.”

.

“for sure, keep it sleazy. we’re out, bye!”

.

“i have to believe…. i’m gonna get those fifteen dollars back from greg fucking grimaldis”

.

“based on the rules of the game, dad… you die.”

.

“dad’s making a jerk off motion at me”

.

“don’t play the pennywise card like you ALWAYS try to”

.

“should i talk slower so that everybody who has been complaining about us not playing dnd has time to nut?”

.

“i am a wizard. my name is taako. and i am pretty well fucked.”

.

“yeah i’ve got cumin who do you think i am?”

.

“hear that, babe? we’re *legends*”

.

“i’m clint mcelroy and i played merle hightower-“

“nope”

[theresattrpgforthat]

Do you know of any solo RPGs that allow you to simulate a group/faction/place and many different NPCs? I guess I'm looking for something like a Sims or Dwarf Fortress but in the form of a TTRPG. Let me create a town and its inhabitants and roll or draw cards to determine what happens to them, or something like that. Thanks!

THEME: Solo "Sims" Games

Hello friend, these are some games coming from a few different angles but all have the common theme of interacting with a community or a group. I couldn't find a lot that allows you to play a number of characters at once, but there are a number of games that still ask you to manage a lot of people as one person! I hope you find them useful!

The Spiritpath Hotel, by 89 Lightwatch Avenue.

You are the owner of a fine establishment called The Spiritpath Hotel. Guests have come from all over to stay. The hotel mysteriously called them here, sensing that each of them are missing something important in their lives. They don't know what it is yet, so it's up to you to figure it out.

No one believes magic exists. Your guests think they are here to enjoy a vacation, but you know better. They came because your hotel promised them happiness they can't get anywhere else. You have a special power that lets you grant one thing to each person you meet and you use it to help your guests.

Discover who your guests are, figure out something important that they need, and provide it to them in a way only you can.

You’re not necessarily embodying all of the characters in this game, but you are continuously meeting and helping new NPCs as you play. This game uses a tarot deck or a random number generator to provide you with prompts, and you’ll learn more about your guests the longer they stay. I appreciate that the designer has included a reference sheet and worksheets to help you play - and the fact that you need them points to a management system that might feel similar to the Sims.

Dino Park, by Armanda.

So, you want to be part of DINO PARK. You’ve been chosen to work with us for a season! You must be thrilled! We’re the first park that through science brought Dinosaurs back to life. And you have a chance to work with us. 

We’re counting on your qualities as a human being and as a professional to make this park your home for these eight weeks. We will train you to be an outstanding member of our team. These weeks with us are going to be a life-changing experience. 

Dino Park gives you gear to help you take care of the dinosaurs in the form of a coin and a number of polyhedral dice, so I’m assuming that most resolution in this game revolves around using your gear to help you do certain things. You’ll also have personal skills and weaknesses that look like they’ll come into play depending on how you decide to solve problems. Your character will receive calls for help throughout the park, so it looks like you’ll be interact with dinosaurs and humans alike, and the game also advertises a catastrophe track - so if things truly go south, you’ll have to hightail it out of there in the style of Jurassic Park!

This game is probably good for folks who love nature games, dinosaurs, or fighting against a slowly building disaster.

Save The Community Radio!, by Wizard of Ox.

You and your group of friends used to run a radio station, giving up your weekends and nights to make sure your local community got a fresh dose of soundwaves. The problem is that, as time passed, most of your friends stopped doing so, except for you, who are still passionately trying to keep it up and running (and failing, mostly). 

Now the local government is threatening to cut funding and shut down your station unless you can prove that you can handle it, but to do so, you have to get your friends back together. Navigate the fallout of your previous relationships with each character and convince them to help you save the radio, or live to see it be shut down.

Save the Community Radio! is a solo journaling RPG focused on building relationships with multiple characters whom you have grown apart from in order to save something you collectively spent your youth trying to build. It heavily relies on these connections and how you interpret them, with prompts and actions chosen by dices and decks, but enough leeway for you to write your characters however you want.

This game uses a deck of playing cards and some 6-side dice to help you build the world where your community radio is about to fail. You work for the radio, and you’re trying to get your friends to care about it again. However, not all of your friends feel positive about you anymore, so you might have to mend those relationships first.

The deck of cards provides prompts for different problems that show up as you play, such as broken equipment or lack of guests for broadcast. You’ll likely need different kinds of people to call on to fix these problems - and hopefully you can fix your relationships with your friends before you lose all resources entirely! If you want a game about building connections, this is your game.

Note: This game comes as a RAR file, so you’ll need to make sure you have an application on your computer that can turn it into a PDF.

Crow Island: funeral//PROCESSION, by Tenbear.

funeral // PROCESSION is a solo TTRPG introducing you to the universe of Crow Island, a sci-fi fantasy world centering Indigenous people and People of Colour. Following the destruction of your village by a Corrupt Spirit you and Members of the Moon Clan will transport the body of your Chief through the wilderness of the Porcupine Nation to the City of Seven Nations for proper burial.

This is a survival game, where you play as a clan but it doesn’t seem necessary to name each clan’s members. You will have to survive against loss of equipment, predators, and depleting supplies. The game uses a deck of playing cards as sort of a prompt generator, providing you with either obstacles or resources as you make your way to the City of Seven Nations.

The reviews of this game compare it to a Choose Your Own Adventure kind of game, so if that sounds interesting, you might want to check this game out.

Nature/Town/Farm/Villagers, by Cardboard Hyperfix.

You are a farmer who just moved into town. You had family that lived here a while ago, but not anymore. The town has seen better days, and you are here to help.

This is meant to be both a farming simulator and a community simulator. Inspired by Harvest Moon, you are a farmer who just moved to town, and are responsible for both making your farm flourish and helping your neighbours solve their problems.

The game follows a calendar of four months, one month for each season. The majority of your play revolves around picking focuses and figuring out both what the problems of each focus is, and then work to wards solving them. Each day you roll 2d6 and use their results to help you solve problems.

If you want a game that you can choose to play over an extended period of time, or if you really enjoy Harvest Moon, you might want to check out this game.

Apawthecaria: A Poultice Pounder Adventure, by BlackwellWriter.

Apawthecaria is a blend of Apothecaria and Scurry! Go on a potion-making, road-tripping, friend-making adventure.

Apothecaria is a solo potion-making game about taking care of unfortunate villagers. Scurry is a game about tiny creatures adventuring through Scotland’s underbrush. Apawthecaria combines the two that brings your little poultice-maker through the same world as Scurry, helping little creatures with their injuries and ailments.

This game is absolutely adorable, and I like the fact that you can recruit a Familiar and a number of Companion bugs on your journeys. I’m assuming that along with meeting a number of patients on your travels, you’ll be using many of the potion-making and foraging rules of Apothecaria. There’s a lot of management involved - you’ll be tracking your reputation, upgrading equipment, and bartering for ingredients (aka reagents) as you travel.

If you like a game with enchanting art and plenty setting already established for you to explore, this might be a game for you.

Scavengers, by Gasini.

Scavengers is a solo hexcrawling adventure game set in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world. You play as a crew of foolhardy goblins struggling to pilot an ancient vehicle known as The Gas Horse. Your crew's goal is to scour the wastes for salvage to expand the goblin homestead. 

Your goblins have an eclectic set of skills that will change how each run goes. Be wary, for there is a hunter out in the wastes seeking to end your adventure!

I think this game might meet your requirements because you are playing a crew of goblins, rather than a single character, and because you have something to manage - namely, the Gas Horse. You’re also responsible for a Homestead, where there might even be more goblins waiting for you. The game comes with a Hexflower map for you to explore, and it all looks to fit on a single brochure, so I think this is better for a limited play session rather than extended play.

Nomads of the Isles, by Nik Mirza.

The fate of your clan rests on your shoulders. Will you be able to lead them to prosperity or will your journey end in defeat?

Your clan are on a quest to establish settlements in a new and unknown land. You must lead your people through various terrains such as mountains, deserts, and forests while managing facing unforeseen danger. Your goal is to establish a settlement or more by the end of your reign.

This is a brochure game guided by Firelights, a solo RPG that is great for metroidvania types of games. Roll on a d66 table to determine what kinds of regions you’ll travel through, and draw cards from the Story Deck to determine the difficulty of each action.

While the game is meant to track a journey from one land to another, the actual details of the story are up to you. The cards from the deck provide you with a value that you’ll have to beat, but the detail of each problem is pretty vague: you’ll recieve prompts such as “Reunion”, “Ceremony”, or “Betrayal”. You’ll have to decide what those words mean, and how much detail you want to include. If you want a game that makes it fairly easy to track progress towards a definable goal, this is your game.

DELVE, by BlackwellWriter.

DELVE: A Solo Map Drawing Game is a map drawing game that puts you in control of a dwarven hold as you discover the horrors that lurk below. This 44 page zine has everything you need to generate natural formations, forgotten ruins, enemies, wyrd magics, and ancient monstrosities. It has a simple turn-based combat system, rules for building your hold and optional challenges for a harder experience.

If you like Dwarf Fortress, this is the game for you! Recruit military units, devise traps and track combat. Use cards from a deck to track resources and explore the map, and a d4 or a coin to help you resolve certain problems. This is as much a resource management game as it is a dungeon delving game, with plenty of tables for Magic, Adventurers, Inventions and more. If you like filling out a map and tracking a lot of things at once, this might be the game for you.

[prokopetz]

I have a pinned post for my games in development, but it doesn't really describe what they're about, and apparently this is something we're doing today, so:

My games in development, in rough order of priority:

(Note: all of these have public playtest drafts behind the links.)

Eat God

A game about weird little anarchist muppets with reality-warping powers themed after classic Looney Tunes gags wandering around a classic sword-and-sorcery fantasy setting stirring up trouble. Roughly 50% character creation rules by volume, with provisions for randomising every part of it; the linked draft, above, includes an online character generator if you want to play with it. The mechanics are a sort of elaborated spiritual successor to Costume Fairy Adventures, a game whose development I headed up about a decade ago.

Current status: actively writing, hopefully zeroing in on a feature-complete playtest draft within the next month or two.

Tiny Frog Wizards

One of my customarily literal titles, this is a game where you play as wizards who are tiny frogs. Features elaborate semi-freeform rules for casting spells, lots of big stupid random tables for when spells go off the rails, and absolutely no mechanics for anything that isn't casting a spell; it's a very focused sort of game. Narratively, it's a game about being an overpowered little twerp sticking your nose into other people's problems and offering solutions no-one asked for. Portions of the rules crib shamelessly from @jennamoran's Nobilis 3rd Edition, for which I offer acknowledgement but no apologies.

Current status: development of the text has been set aside for the moment to work on visual identity, with an eye toward crowdfunding an expanded hardcover edition later in the year.

Space Gerbils

A tactical mecha combat game with a very silly twist: the entirety of the tactical positioning occurs inside the mecha, because the game's premise is basically "what if instead of the Big Reveal at the end of Metroid (1986) being that Samus Aran is secretly a girl, Samus Aran was secretly 3–5 small gerbil-like creatures operating a person-size mech suit?" Players engage in positional jockeying and resource management to determine which stations they're crewing within the suit, which is boiled down to a single roll of the dice to determine what happens outside the suit. Includes papercraft minifigs.

Current status: essentially feature-complete, apart from some character creation options and a planned random mission generator; this will likely be the next game I crowdfund after Tiny Frog Wizards.

Indie RPG Prompt Generator [working title]

Essentially a joke that got out of hand, this is a big set of random tables of common indie RPG tropes that you can roll on to generate a description of a hypothetical game, complete with specific rules toys and setting beats. I probably could have finished this up already, but I decided to include examples of each rolled element, which turned into this big hairy research project I'm not able to give adequate attention to right now. If you've got a game of your own that you think would be a good fit for a presently unfilled example slot, please, let me know!

Current status: plugging away at it in bits and pieces as I'm able.

Three Raccoons in a Trenchcoat

This is an anthology consisting of three minigames: the eponymous Three Raccoons in a Trenchcoat, which is self-explanatory; Unfamiliar, in which you play as uncooperative wizards' familiars; and System Crash, in which you play as malfunctioning robots. More a series of formal experiments in character creation and group composition than proper full-featured games, all share the same core mechanics, with milieu-specific addons of varying practicality; for example, System Crash has specific rules for which senses each player is allowed to use when asking the GM for information, because it's completely possible to have a group in which only one of the robots can see. Large portions of Unfamiliar were later re-used in Eat God, above.

Current status: I have a list of notes as long as your arm on planned changes to integrate into the text, and I'm confident I'll get around to doing so one of these years.

Gone to Hell

Literally a Doom (2016) pastiche as a Belonging Outside Belonging game, which is just as silly an idea as it sounds; grown out of an earlier 24-hour RPG called Doomguy. The central conceit is that there's only a single player character, with players taking turns assuming the role of the Slayer, while everyone else takes ownership of the various hostile factions comprising the game's conspiratorial twelve-car pileup of a plot. Lots of pontificating about the implicit power structures of tabletop RPG groups. This one probably needs a full rewrite in order to lend a bit more formal structure to the "one player character, many GMs" conceit than out-of-the-box BOB offers.

Current status: I have not looked at this game in three years, which is actually a really long time for me.

Rotate Bird

Another of my "is this a formal experiment or a real game" titles, this one revolves around constructing characters out of abstract symbols, which are interpreted during play to retroactively define what your character is actually capable of doing. Even the title seen above is an interpretive approximation; strictly speaking, the game is called 🔄🐦. Possibly the most shitposty game I've ever written, which is saying something, but based on playtest feedback it seems functional.

Current status: the only reason this is listed as lower in priority than Gone to Hell is because I genuinely don't know what to do with it. It's probably publishable, with some cleanup editing and graphic design, but it feels like there's something missing. I'm open to suggestions!

Get in the Fucking Robot

A pamphlet-size, competitive, GMless title that's at least as much a board game as it is a tabletop RPG, this one is about a bunch of dysfunctional candidate mecha pilots competing to be the first to pilot the titular giant robot. The game is played under misère conditions: while each character's IC goal is to pilot the robot, each player's OOC goal is to avoid that fate, with the player whose character actually Gets in the Fucking Robot being accounted the loser.

Current status: playtesting suggests the current framework of play doesn't actually work – like, at all – so this one needs to go all the way back to the drawing board; I don't feel like doing that any time soon, which puts it squarely at the bottom of the list.

[galedekarios]

okay so I was thinking about when the player first meets Gale, he immediately clocks them as coming from the nautiloid even though A) we never see him anywhere on the nautiloid, and B) we don't psychically link with him via the tadpoles during his introduction.

this has been plaguing my brain because it leaves two options. either 1) Gale correctly deduces the player was on the nautiloid just because why else would they be out there in the wreckage, or 2) he encountered the player sometime before they pulled him out of the broken sigil but didn't/couldn't approach them for one reason or another.

so this is my roundabout way to ask if you have any headcanons and/or theories of why Gale recognizes the player right from the jump. I'm inclined to think that he saw the player on the ship some point before it starts to crash, because when he brings it up, he starts with "I know you, don't I?" which, to me, makes it seem like he recognized them rather than made an assumption about them. but I would love to hear your thoughts about it!

(P.S. I LOVE your Gale meta/analysis posts! they are so well thought out and beautifully written ❤️)

thank you so much for your message and kind words! 🖤

i also do find it very, very interesting that both in early access and in full release, gale recognises the player right away.

this is his intro after he appears from the netherese teleportation rune from early access:

(Gale appears from the Netherese Teleportation rune) Gale: You’re alive. That’s unexpected. Last I saw you, you were laying in a crucible’s worth of blood, an intellect devourer nibbling at your ear. Glad to see my eyes deceived me. I’m Gale. Well met! Player (Option 1): Well met. You were on the ship as well, I presume? Gale: The very same. A traumatising experience – if an instructive one.

and his intro from full release is, as you've already mentioned:

Gale: Say, but I know you, don't I? In a manner of speaking. You were on the nautiloid as well. Player: I was, yes. Gale: Then I can only assume you too were on the receiving end of a rather unwelcome insertion in the ocular region.

i do think, with the way both introductions are worded, that it's extremely likely that gale did see the player on the ship.

now where we can speculate is where and how that may have taken place.

the early access dialogue implies that the protag was not in a pod when gale saw them, despite them waking up in one when the game begins, just as in the full release version.

we do know that captured victims are immediately placed inside a pod when they're captured from the trailer/intro cinematic:

which makes it likely that gale saw the protag while having been taken out of the pod and maybe guarded by intellect devourers, or perhaps transported somewhere, or even after an escape attempt they do not remember.

as for gale himself, we do know that wizards are able to manipulate the pods themselves to open them with a successful dice roll:

(taken from one of my early access gifsets)

we also do know that gale is master of his craft as a prodigy, ex-chosen, archwizard, scholar and researcher, and graduate of blackstaff academy. it doesn't seem unlikely to me that he may have found a way to break out of his own pod to try and escape what would surely otherwise be a death sentence for him and others for multiple reasons.

i do think gale's wording again makes it sound as if though he'd already escaped the pod in which he was likely trapped in, too:

Player: Never mind the nautiloid. How did you get stuck in that stone? Gale: I don't know what transpired exactly, but the ship broke into pieces and I suddenly found myself in freefall. Gale: As I was plummeting to certain death, I spied a glimmer quite near where I estimated my body to impact with less-than-savoury propulsion. Gale: Recognising this glimmer to be magical in nature, I reached out to it with a Weaving of words and found myself on the other side as it were. Gale: How about you? How did you survive the fall? Player: To be honest, I haven't a clue. Gale: Fair enough. But even so, I have the unfortunate suspicion your survival is still very much in jeopardy.

as for the mind link (which can happen later at camp), i do think it's also important to keep in mind that just because the player doesn't feel the mind link or connection or even so much as a tickle of the tadpole, it's not unlikely that gale can feel it from his side. his mental defences are high enough so that the player can't sense the tadpole, but i don't think that is necessarily the same for gale.

so, all in all, i do think, considering everything we know, the most likely scenario here is that gale saw the protag - perhaps even while trying to orient himself / try to find a way out - on the ship and that the player does not remember him for whatever reason - and given the circumstances here, those reasons could be plentiful (unconsciousness, disorientation, dazedness like the woman we found trapped in a pod adjacent to the room we find shadowheart in, etc.).

again, thank you for your message! 🖤

[utilitycaster]

I actually really love Fearne's decision. Like, I do want to see more druid levels (L10 and 11 wildfire druid have some GREAT stuff) but arcane trickster feels like such a lovely way to reflect Fearne and Birdie finally having a meaningful conversation and becoming closer, since that's Birdie's class.

I also think that having access to a few wizard spells - that she can easily upcast with druid slots, no less - is a great bit of utility to have. Disguise Self, which as far as I know, no one else in the party has, is likely going to be a huge help in this mission and others, and ranged mage hand with Fearne's thieves' tools proficiency is also a useful skill. I think after this level it probably does make sense to continue with druid, but Ashley's really done a lot of subtle character work to justify those rogue levels and if you @ her it should be to tell her it's great.

(For the anon who asked me about the mechanics and then told me to delete the ask - no worries! You are 100% correct that Fearne's low intelligence means this is a bit of an wildcard choice. However, she can take utility spells, which usually don't require any dice rolls and therefore the spell DC/attack modifier don't matter much. Disguise Self is a great example of one of these. For cantrips, she can take things like Message and Dancing Lights, which don't require saves or attacks and which allow for more party splits (if both she and Laudna have Message, for example, Laudna's no longer their only means of communication). For spells, she took Disguise Self and she could also take one of Identify, Comprehend Languages, or Floating Disk (to give a few examples) which don't require rolls and are high utility. I think Sleep might also be a good one - weirdly, it's not a DC, but rather you roll 5d8 against hit points. Basically, she should avoid attack or save spells - of which she has plenty, as a druid, anyway - and focus on weird little utility niches.)

[luxaofhesperides]

“Can I roll to see if I know what they are?” Kon asks, already grabbing his dice. “Sure,” Tim says. “Make your roll.” Kon rolls, then leans forward to see what he got. …A 1. That… doesn’t look good. “Wow,” Tim drawls, amusement coloring his voice. "A nat one. That’s a critical failure right there!” “...So I don’t know shit.” “You don’t know shit,” Tim confirms with a smile.

Or: The beginning of Kon's descent into being a table top roleplaying nerd, ft. his friends and an unfortunate tradition of injuries and bedrest sessions.

my silly little dnd fic for @mamawasatesttube's kon summer minibang!!

i say little. its 25k. lol. lmao even. i got too into the whimsy and joy of dnd that this fic spiraled out of control. accompanied with art by @mysterycitrus and forthcoming art by @transgender-tim-drake!