#Dude probably never acted on his feeling for her because: A. he thought it was pointless. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nexysworld · 8 months

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summary: Brat tamed by your step dad. pairing: Step Dad Toji x Fem!Reader tags: NSFW, Smut, Stepcest, Daddy Kink, Age Gap, Pussy Slapping, Spanking, Mean!Toji, Degradation Kink, Unprotected Sex, Manhandling, Dub-con, fem receiving oral, Reader is 18+, MDNI wc: 2.4k

Read on AO3 || Ask Box || Masterlists a/n: this is my first time writing for JJK and Toji, but god am I down BAD for this man. I wanna practice and write more because....yeah. 😏 Title based on the song. Also special thanks to @kaitkatme for beta-reading this for me.

“Fuck off Megumi, you’re always breathing down my neck!” You yelled, chucking the pillow across the room at your step brother. “Seriously, get out!”

“I’m only doing what I’m supposed to as your big brother!” He yelled back, easily dodging the weaponized cushion. “Dudes like that are only looking for one thing. They’re dangerous.” “Really? You sure? I would say you’d know, but I don’t think you’re getting any either.” You replied, rolling your eyes.

“Whatever, give me the phone.” His hand was stuck out expectantly. “No way! I’m an adult, I can go out with whoever I want.”

The two of you tussle back and forth around the room, grappling over the device in your hand. Luckily for you, his back was to your bedroom door, giving you the chance with one good shove to send him staggering backwards into the hallway, sticking your tongue out at him for good measure. The door slammed shut with a loud thud, and you clicked the lock to make sure he couldn’t get back in so easily.

You flopped back down onto the plush bed, intending to return to what you were doing when noise caught your attention. Loud stomping, followed by some muffled arguing – you recognized one of the voices as your step dad, he must’ve been woken up by the argument.

As the voices got closer you could make out the tail end of the conversation. “Why don’t you just buckle up and be a father for once.” “Will you stop naggin’ me, she ain’t even my kid.” “She calls you dad.” “So do you, fuckin’ brat. And you don’t listen to me either.” “You really want her skulking around with one of those mercs? Bet that’ll look real good on you, old man. Your rivals joking about going through rounds with your slutty daughter.”

“Tch, fine. But only because I’m sick of your fuckin’ nagging kid. We both know she isn’t goin’ to listen t’me.” His footsteps were heavy as they closed in on your room. The front door of the house slammed close downstairs, Megumi having retreated. There was a brief silence outside your door as he pondered what to say before his heavy fist landed on the door a few times. “Open up.”

“Don’t think I will.” You added, not feeling like being lectured again, and especially not by the deadbeat who fucks your mom. Or did fuck your mom, no one really knew where mom was these days.

There was a huff of frustration as he banged on the door again. “I ain’t askin’ twice.”

“Then don’t.” You lazily went back to scrolling on your phone.

“You fuckin’ brats are really startin’ to piss me off today.” A loud boom rattled the walls, nearly giving you a heart attack. Your bedroom door had been kicked right off the hinges, the top half of the door tangling by what was left of a single screw, the bottom half launched into the wall across the room.

You’d seen Toji go at it with Megumi before, tossing all sorts of things at him with his absurd inhuman strength, but you’d never been the target of that anger before. Your mouth opened in shock, ready to say something, but words caught in your throat as he marched towards you.

“First I’m woken up because the two of you can’t keep yer traps shut. Then I get an earful about you running off with some merc kid – thought I raised you better than that.” “You didn’t raise me at all!” Toji had been around as long as you could remember, probably the closest thing you’d ever have to a real dad. Except he only really acted like a father when he was trying to get in your moms pants – or when you made cute bait for a potential bounty he was trying to collect on. “Shut it.” He said, towering over you. “Screw you!” You spat indignantly. “I ain’t dealin’ with any more shit today.” It always impressed you how fast he was, for such a large buff guy. Even still, it shocked you how quickly he managed to flip your positions, him sitting on the bed, you bent over his lap. The only noise you could get out was a yelp as his hand collided with your clothed butt cheek, the red hot warmth of pain radiating outwards. “What happened to that filthy mouth?” He asked mockingly, this time tugging your pajama pants down to expose the plush mounds of your ass. “Come on princess, you wanna talk like a big bad adult, then talk.” He brought his hand down again, this one knocking the wind out of you, making your legs kick behind you tangled in your pajama pants – fat hot tears forming in your waterline. “No? Nothing?” He asked again, as he continued his onslaught, large hand imprinting its shape on you. “That’s what I thought. Shoulda knocked some manners into both you brats forever ago.”

He shoved you off of him, making you tumble head first onto the floor. Your face was red with anger, cheeks puffed out, righting yourself just enough to look up at him, still tangled in your own pants. He looked down at you amused, scanning your form. He grabbed your face with his hand, squishing your cheeks together, forcing you into a kissy face. “Now that’sa look.” He mused. “Acting like you’re ready to go run around with boys, but can’t even stop snottin’ and cryin’ like a kid after getting spanked by your Daddy.” You wanted to say something back, insult him, tell him to shut up. But you couldn’t, ass sore, mouth still pushed out between his fingers. Instead, you glared him down as best you could.

“What was your plan anyway? Hope he’d take you somewhere fancy, call you pretty names while he licked that little cunt? Or were you hopin’ he’d be mean, put you in your place.” He chuckled, leaning forward so your faces were close together again. “Maybe Megumi was right – ‘m gonna have to listen to stories from half the guild about my slutty little girl, aren’t I?” “N-no!” You managed to squeak out at the accusation, it fell on deaf ears as he continued rambling his own thoughts. “Only thing I can’t understand is why you’d pick some loser I work with. When ‘m sure there’s plenty of punks crawling around this city, ready to get their dicks wet.” His eyes narrowed, a smug ear to ear grin taking over his features. “Oh, I get it now, you want someone just like your Daddy, don’t you?” Heat pooled between your legs at his words, cheeks on fire with embarrassment more than anger now. You squeezed your thighs together, hoping he didn’t notice. He let go of your face finally, red finger marks lingering on your skin. Despite having the chance to speak, you were stunned into silence.

He noticed.

Of course he noticed.

Toji yanked you up by your arm, roughly pulling you into his lap, pressed against his chest with your head over his shoulder. His large, rough fingers trailed down the semi-circle of your ass cheek to dip lower from behind, gently brushing against your slicked folds. “Looks like I’m right on the mark.” “N-nuh uh!” You denied, exasperated.

“Dumb little brat, runnin’ around looking for trouble when all you need is your Daddy, right here at home.” He played with you a little, stuffing his index finger into your wet heat, his thumb rubbing against your clit in even circular motions. You whined, squirming your legs at the sensation, feeling your walls clamp around the digit. What remained of your dignity was fleeting, as you felt his cock press against your leg through his pants. “Looks like she’s been cryin’ for attention – no wonder you’ve been such a bitch lately. Shoulda known it woulda been easier to just fuck the ‘tude out of you.”

He pulled his hand out of you so he could toss you unceremoniously onto the bed, ripping your panties and pajama pants off the rest of the way. By the time he yanked your shirt up, your hands were covering your face in embarrassment. “Nah, none of that shy shit.” He chided, easily gathering both your wrists in one hand, pinning them above your head. “Look at me, princess.” He used his free hand to force you to meet his gaze again. “You wanted this, remember? So you’re gonna be a good girl and watch while Daddy makes you feel good, understand?” You scrunched up your face in a glare again, still not wanting to give him the satisfaction of absolute obedience. The hand holding your face collided with your cheek in a sharp slap, making your tits bounce a little as you jerked with the motion. “You wanna keep that brat shit up and I’ll just fuck you raw instead, how about that?” “W-wait no!” You exclaimed. “S’what I thought.” Your step dad let go of your wrists so he could lift your lower half up, tossing one leg over his shoulder, tongue messily sliding up your slit before lapping at the bead of nerves. Like most things with Toji, he was quick, flicking his tongue side to side before circling it around your clit. His hands dug into your hips with a bruising grip, you looked up catching the top of his head and eyes between your legs. Eyes squeezing shut in short-lived pleasure. “G-guah!” You made a sound, a mix between a moan and a yelp as you felt a lightly stinging slap to your pussy, eyes shooting back open. “What did I say?” “T-to watch.” Another slap against your pussy made you squeal. “Then why were your eyes closed, hmm?” “‘M sorry!” Another one, this time angled just right that you managed to feel it against your clit too. “Wh-why?” “You’re sorry, what?”

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” You replied. “Good girl.” Praise from him was rare, and while it was dripping with sarcasm, you couldn’t help the way it made your chest flutter. He resumed his meal between your legs, messily slurping you into his mouth. Your body felt like it was burning up, pleasuring pulsing between your legs each time he applied pressure with his wet muscle to your clit.

Your back arched in pleasure, legs kicking at his back as you came, hard. “Oh god.” You whined, not able to keep your eyes open this time as waves of pleasure rolled over you, through your stiffened muscles. Luckily, he didn’t seem to care this time, dropping your lower half down so he could wipe your slick from his chin with the back of his hand.

Your eyes, half lidded, watched as he reached down, pulling himself free of his gray pants. You let out an audible surprised sound as you watched him stroke himself a few times. It was thick from tip to base, uncut with pearly beads of precum that dribbled onto your thigh with each stroke. He ran his thumb over the tip, hissing at the sensation before rubbing it along your bottom lip, letting you taste him. Greedily you sucked the digit into your mouth, grinding your hips up when you tasted the slightly bitter liquid.

“Shit. You’re fuckin’ cute, I’ll give you that.” He said, pulling his hand back to line himself up with your entrance. He pushed into you, grunting as your tight walls clenched around him. “Tight as hell too. Relax.” He groaned, sinking inch by inch into you until the tip of his cock pressed snuggly against your cervix. It was overwhelming how full you felt, like you’d be split in half if he were any bigger.

Not one for patience he leaned forward, nearly folding you in half, as he slid out to the tip before slamming back in, watching as you writhed beneath him, gripping the sheets. Your pupils were blown, you could feel his breath against your face again with how close he was in this position. “Look at you givin’ me those lovey dovey eyes. Want a kiss too?” He asked. “Please?” You nodded, letting go of the bedding to wrap your arms around his neck, clinging to him. He obliged the request, pressing his lips to yours – rough and slightly chapped. He gave a few shallow thrusts while tangling your tongues together, pulling away just enough to give him a better angle to fuck into you harder. “S’too much.” You croaked as he set a steady pace, brutally pumping himself inside of you. “S’too much.” You repeated, eyes scrunching shut, overstimulated between the stretch and speed of his movements. “S’okay, you can take it.” He replied, between movements. You clung to him tightly, a fresh set of tears brimming at your eyes, toes curling with pleasure. “‘D-daddy.” You sobbed out, clawing at his back. Each time he sunk back into you, he hit a special spot, one so deep you’d never reach it on your own. It made stars sparkle on the back of your eyelids.

“That’s m’girl, let it all out. Gonna fill this bratty little hole up, make sure she remembers who’s in charge, yeah? Gonna be a good girl from now on?” “Mhmm.” You replied, so close to your second orgasm. “Never be bad…nnng…again….” Your muscles tensed, the pressure exploding again as you cried out, second orgasm exhausting the last of your energy. Your velvety walls clamping down were enough to bring him to completion too, his cock twitching as hot cum spurted out, drooling into your spent hole.

Eyelids heavy with exhaustion, you barely registered when Toji pulled out, or when he’d laid down next to you tucking you into his side. Your body naturally curled into his warmth, head sinking into the pillow as sleep pulled you under.

It wasn’t until you heard the telltale sounds of arguing again did you even bother to crack one eye open. Megumi stood in the broken doorway, looking like steam was coming out of his ears. “What?” Toji asked lazily. “You didn’t want her goin’ with that guy, now she’s not. Problem solved.” “Problem not solved –” He began, before you chucked a pillow at him again. “Go away, Megumi.” You groaned, burying your face back into your step dad’s chest to resume your nap, too tired to feel any sense of shame or embarrassment in the moment.

#Toji #Toji Fushiguro #Toji x Reader #Toji Fushiguro x Reader #Toji JJK #JJK x reader #Jujutsu Kaisen #Jujutsu Kaisen Fanfiction #Toji Fanfiction #JJK Fanfiction #JJK Imagines #Jujutsu Kaisen Imagines #oneshot

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sp0o0kylights · 1 year

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You know what I want to see, I want to see more of Steve, Eddie, and Robin being 1980s small town kids from Indiana, by which I mean;

Robin is The Source of Gay Knowledge purely because her parents host Hippie Christmas and she managed to sneak away to find a neat bookstore in Indiana once.

Her knowledge is not in depth. It's patchy, woven together through rumors, stories she heard or things she picked up from her parents' old pictures. She's got a handful of zines, one book, and some movies she managed to order for Family Video behind Keith's back.

She acts like she's Queen of the Queers because in Hawkins she pretty much is.

(Max and El ask her what a lavender marriage is once, something they overheard snooping around.

Robin confidentially answers that it's code for when one woman dresses up as a man, fooling officials into wedding two woman.

She does not live this down two years later when they find out what it actually means.)

Eddie doesn't spend every weekend in Indianapolis.

Gas is expensive, his busiest days of his "job" is Friday and Saturday, and he has no fucking clue what the hanky code is.

He's wearing that bandana because Metallica front singer James Hetfield has one on all their tour posters.

Eddie does make it down to a gay bar though, by accident. Rick needed some back up for a shady deal. Promised Eddie a boatload of free drugs to sell if he agreed to just stand there and look mean.

He was warned the bar they were meeting in was 'weird' and to not 'freak out' --which Eddie thought was hilarious given his nickname and general appearance, but whatever.

He doesn't understand when they get there, because it's just a bunch of hot men with hanky's in their back pockets everywhere.

Then he sees two women kissing and it clicks.

He can't out himself in front of Rick, but one of the bartenders playfully dresses him down for his own hanky, letting him know all about the code and teasing him through his embarrassment.

He's got an offer to come back and learn what color and which pocket his hanky should actually be in, a prospect Eddie was salivating at until Chrissy Cunningham up and died on his ceiling.

(He still wore the hanky, because the feeling of that bartender tugging it out and stuffing it back in might be the closest thing he's ever had to sex and he absolutely wants a repeat.

He's young and horny, sue him.)

Steve Harrington may not be academically smart but he's not dumb.

He figured out a while back that the basketball team as a unit probably crossed the queer line more than once--or at least it did before Hargrove came in.

( Brad Handly for example, went around slamming kids into lockers and screaming slurs like a fucking movie villain one Monday because the varsity team got dead drunk at Laura's party on Sunday and hey, look, there weren't that many girls there, okay?

They all had fucking hands and mouths. Everybody but Tommy was single and hot to trot. Nothing gay about it.

Its not even like they were kissing or treating each other like chicks. It was just Brad's first time and they got to tease him later for overthinking it.

Dude graduated soon enough after and given Steve was on the team as a sophomore, he hadn't thought about the guy and why he might be freaking out so bad in years.)

Robin's entire panic attack at Starcourt, and a few more after had Steve replaying that whole incident. Reframed it a bit, and, yeah.

In retrospect that had been extremely gay, actually.

It sat with him a lot easier than he'd thought it would. Partially because of Robin, but mostly because that's just who he was.

Stranger things had happened to Steve and this one didn't want to kill, maim or otherwise eat him, so it got filed under 'interesting facts he should never tell his parents if he wanted to keep his trust fund' and then he went about his day.

(Or he tried too, anyways.

It caught up to him when Eddie and Robin somehow figured out the other was queer and dragged him along to some bar Eddie had a standing invitation at, with demands for Steve to do what he did best.

Babysit.

Their magical trip was utterly destroyed when Brad Handly happened to be the very same bartender who had given Eddie the invite.

Considering Brad's immediate bark of laughter followed by a hug and introducing himself as "Steve's gay awakening", Steve ended up having to speedrun through Eddie and Robin both having a crisis for him.

It didn't help that Steve had politely, and laughingly, corrected Brad with a casual;

"Pretty sure that was Tommy man, but if it helps I think that tongue of yours gave Matt Burdon a crisis."

--which ended up with him answering a lot more gay sex questions with Brad than he cared too.

At least he, through Brad, was able to help Robin connect to some local lesbians and--after a second crisis from Eddie regarding how Steve managed to have more sex than "the resident town freak and guy who actually knew he was gay, Steve!"-- even helped Eddie out by catching the metalheads tongue with his mouth later that evening.

The last one landed him a boyfriend, trust fund be damned.)

#this started as thought and ended as a mini fic #filing this under shit I'm not expanding on #steddie #platonic stobin #its the “Eddie and Robin drag Steve to a Gay Bar” trope but with a twist #the twist is that Steve skipped his gay crisis entirely #and also that basketball team is not straight #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #I just want to re-invoke that pre internet feeling of "No one has an easy way to google whether or not their friend is right #so it comes down to who sounds right LOL #or whose known for what

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miniwheat77 · 1 year

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Better. (Keegan Russ x Reader.)

!CW! NSFW, Smut, Keegan being a simp, readers boyfriend is a scumbag, Virgin!reader, virginity loss, (sorry if I missed any.)

This my FIRST EVER SOLO KEEGAN FIC so be gentle with feedback please :(

*Not edited well*

It took one laugh.

You joined the base that Keegan happened to be on, and he made a dumb joke to another sergeant and you laughed at it.

It took one little under the breath giggle from you, and it was all over for him.

You had only overheard by chance, he wasn’t meant to hear your laugh. But he did, and boy is he glad he did because he adored you. Obviously from afar because he didn’t want to creep you out. He thought you were stunning and pretty. You were so sweet to everyone, the few times you had to interact with him, you were so sweet.

You were stationed nearby, living near the base which is what was going on with Keegan too. The both of you lived in the same small town.

He decided to zero in on you pretty quickly, making friends with you. But than, you met your boyfriend.

Keegan was sick when you first started dating him. Absolutely sore by the fact that he was your friend and you ended up in someone else’s arms. He got teased on base constantly for his massive crush on you. He made it so obvious of course that everyone but you seemed to notice. He still made efforts to hang out with you. As bad as it was, Keegan tried to get you away from your boyfriend. He could be better to you than your boyfriend ever could. Anytime you vented about something your boyfriend had done, Keegan always implied that maybe there was an ulterior motive. Maybe he was doing this or that, and what an asshole for that. He always played the part.

“Dude, quit staring. She’s got a boyfriend.” He’s getting nudged, earning a roll of his eyes. “Fuck off. Her boyfriend doesn’t even know what to do with her.” He scoffs. The other Sergeant looks at him with wide eyes. “And you’re saying you could do better?”

“Tenfolds. I’d worship the fucking ground she walks on if she’d let me.” He sighs. “You’re pussy whipped by a girl you’re not even with.” Keegan shoves passed the younger sergeant. “Don’t care.” He mumbles as he walks away. “Hey!” He calls to Keegan. “Heard she’s a virgin. Better get her on lock before that scumbag fucks her and dumps her.” Keegan feels his body go rigid, ignoring his words. Keegan needed to act fast. For your sake. He didn’t like to hear that you were a virgin.

That’s probably why that scumbag was sticking around in the first place.

Keegan made his way up the watch tower a little early, he usually did this so he had a chance to talk to you before you traded watch shifts.

He opens up the door, sitting down. “Hey Keegan.” You smile. He’s sick the moment he sees it. The fact that he can’t tug you into him, kiss you. Hug you. Hold you. It’s messed up. He’s never felt this way about anybody. “Hi.” He nods. His words are a little muffled by his mask but it’s not too bad. You always seem to hear him. “What are you doing this weekend?” He asks. “Oh, me and Jacob were going to go watch a movie.” You smile. He nods. “Why?” You ask. “Oh, I was just going to invite you out. I was going to the bar this weekend, thought I’d let you know.” He shrugs. “If anything changes just let me know.” He smiles. You can’t see it of course. Keegan just needs your stupid boyfriend to fuck up. Just once. You nod your head, giving him a smile. You made your way down the stairs.

Keegan felt stupid sometimes. He wanted you so badly that he let most of his morals go down the drain. If you were his and someone was doing this to you on the sidelines, he’d be furious. He thinks of himself as a horrible person for how possessive he was over you, a girl who wasn’t even his. For the remainder of his time on watch, he thought about distancing himself from you. Walking away and not looking back. But he knows, he won’t be able to.

It was Saturday and Keegan was dressed as usual, but he’d sprayed a little bit of cologne on, maybe he’d meet a girl. Maybe he’d take her home. Or maybe he’d drink too much and wake up somewhere random like he’d done. Too drunk to think straight, sleeping on a bench or in his car in the parking lot. He doesn’t know what the night holds. His feet pat against the concrete walkway of his house, going out to his truck. He doesn’t expect his phone to ring, and he doesn’t expect it to be you.

“Hello?” Keegan asks into the phone. “Uh.. hey Keegan.” He can hear you sniffle. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He stops right in his tracks. “I uh.. everything is okay and I hope I’m not interrupting you. But.. can you come get me?” You ask. “Of course, where are you?”

“I’m in the parking lot of the theater.” You mumble. “I’m on my way.”

Keegan speeds like a bat out of hell to get to you, he doesn’t know what happened but he knows you’re unwell. And that’s enough for him to need to get to you. It feels like it takes him hours to get there but is only a few minutes and he’s pulling up. He parks, tires coming to a hard stop as he brakes. He throws the truck in park before jumping out and making his way to you. “Hey, what happened? What’s going on?” He asks. “It’s nothing, can we just go?” You mumble, you keep looking over your shoulder. When Jacob comes walking up to you, Keegan pushes you behind him. An action that doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “You called him? Are you fucking kidding me?” You lean into Keegan. “What’s your problem?” Keegan mumbles. “Oh, you haven’t told him yet?” He laughs. “I was just telling Y/N here that she’s a bitch for leading me on.” Keegan can feel his blood boiling, fists clenching together. “She’s led me on for the three months we’ve been together. Always dresses so slutty and always denies me.” He shakes his head. “I mean look at her, you can practically see her ass in that dress. You get it right?”

Keegan is completely taken off guard by the entitlement he’s hearing. “Uh.. no. No I don’t get it.” He shakes his head. “If you were really looking for a girl that would sleep with you, you were barking up the wrong tree in the first place.” He crosses his arms, trying to make himself look bigger to Keegan. “Y/N doesn’t owe you anything, she can dress any way she likes. And the Y/N I know, would knock you on your ass for saying that. She’s showed you parts of herself that nobody has ever seen. But you’re just a dumb motherfucker who fumbled a hell of a girl.” He laughs. Jacob scoffs, turning his head away. “Whatever. She’s just a dumb fucking prude anyways. I knew you’d get in the way. Anybody could see your crush on her from a mile away. And she always comes running doesn’t she?” He shakes his head. Keegan shakes his head. “Come on Y/N.” Keegan places his arm around your lower back. Leading you to his truck. You have your arms crossed and you look furious.

“So.. you want to tell me what’s going on?” He asks. “We were watching a movie. He kept putting his hand on my thigh and I kept pushing it away. He got too forceful and I shoved him back. So he stood up and made a scene in front of the entire theater.” You cover your face. Keegan laughs. “What a scumbag.” He rolls his eyes. “Is what he said true Keegan?” You look up at him. And he looks away from your gaze. “Y/N.. you don’t need all of my bullshit too okay?”

“That’s not what I asked you, Keegan. Answer me.”

He sighs. Keeping quiet. “So what if it is? It doesn’t have to change anything.” He breathes. “Keegan, it changes everything.”

This is exactly why Keegan kept it to himself. “Well.. so what.” He sighs. He starts his truck, throwing it into drive and pulling out of the parking lot.

The drive to his house is quiet aside from Metallica playing faintly in the background. Usually you would poke fun at him. But the silence seems louder. He ruined your friendship, all because of a stupid crush. He pulls into his driveway, ready to hear you yell at him, ask why he’s brought you here. But he’s shocked when it doesn’t happen. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because of this, because I didn’t want to risk anything. Plus, you have a boyfriend.” You shake your head. “That doesn’t matter Keegan.”

“Yes it does Y/N. If you were mine and some guy was doing that shit, I’d be furious.”

“I wouldn’t do it to you.” You mumble.

“But you’d do it for me? Because I’m a coworker?”

“No because you’re my friend Keegan.” You roll your eyes. “You should have said something.” You turn toward his window. “You have a boyfriend!” He throws his hands up. “In case you haven’t noticed I did everything I could to respect that despite how fucking bad I wanted to be him. I don’t see what you saw in that fucking scumbag either.” He breathes. You turn toward him. “It was to fill time, asshole. And stop calling him my boyfriend. I do more stuff with you than I do with him!”

“Oh, I’m the asshole. I come to the rescue anytime you need anything and somehow I’m still the asshole.”

“Fuck you Keegan, I won’t ask you for another fucking thing.” You growl. Reaching for the door handle. “No!” He grasps your hand, pulling you back. “You don’t get to storm away when you’re mad.” You narrow your eyes at him. “Seriously, where was this fight when that asshole was talking to you like that hm? I know you, I know you held back.”

“Because it’s not worth it. Who gives a fuck what he thinks about me.”

He shakes his head. “You’re ridiculous.” You shake your head. “You.. all of that shit you said about.. leaving him. All of those times you came to help and tried to talk me away from him. It’s not because you wanted to help.” You laugh, shaking your head. “It’s because you liked me.” Keegan rolls his eyes. “So fucking what.” He turns to you, leaning into you. “Even if I didn’t have a crush on you, I’d still come running. And you’d still call because you’re you, and you can’t fight your own battles.”

“Fuck you.” You growl. “I don’t want to hear anything from you, you’re disgusting.”

Keegan shakes his head. “Yeah? If I’m so disgusting than get out of my truck. Go on.” He nods.

You don’t move.

“Go ahead.”

Nothing again. “Still here.” He let’s his hands fall onto his thighs. “See, to me? It seems like you like it. You like that I’m disgusting. Don’t y-“ he jumps back as you smash your lips against his. Sitting up on the seat of his truck. He kisses you back even harder, pulling you over the center console and into his lap. He pushes down on the lever of his seat, sliding it back. The metal thumping as he thrusts it back has you moaning into his mouth. He pulls you tightly into him, teeth knocking into each other as he kisses you. He has a tight grip around your waist.

You grind your hips down into him and he pulls away, moaning out. He rests his hands on your hips, stopping you. “Hey- wait.” He breathes. “I like you but I’m not going to take advantage of you.” He breathes. “Shut up Keegan.” You groan. “Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m doing.” You grind your hips into his again and he looks like he’s in pain when you do it. “Fuck-“ he breathes. You roll your hips into him again and he bucks his hips up slightly. “Ah-“ he whines. He closes his eyes tightly. “Fuck- you have to s-stop.” He grits his teeth. A couple more times of you rolling your hips into him and his body is jerking, he’s trying to halt your hips. But you grasp his hands, holding them against your thighs as you keep going. “Y/N- I’m serious, please-“

His chest heaves up and down violently, and a cry leaves his lips. He bucks his hips up into you, more and more cries leaving his lips as he finishes into his jeans, crying out for you pathetically and grinding his hips into yours for any bit of friction he can get.

When you stop moving your hips into him, he won’t look at you. You can feel his cum soaking through your panties.

He’s clearly embarrassed.

But he has no idea how turned on you are. “Look at me.” You breathe. His cheeks are burning, and he knows he can’t look at you. He just can’t. “Keegan, look at me.” When he looks up at you, he’s got tears in his eyes. “What’s wrong?” You ask. He looks away but you grasp his chin, forcing him to look at you. “I’m just embarrassed okay? Just..” he sighs. “I’ll take you home now.”

He sighs. You can already feel him hardening beneath you again. You sitting in his lap is too much. “No.” You breathe.

“Keegan, I want to have sex with you.” You breathe. “Y/N..” he sighs. “You’re just.. you’re hot and bothered, you don’t mean it.” He breathes. You grasp him by the collar of his shirt. “Please Keegan. If you don’t want me that’s fine but I want you.” You pant. You know for a fact you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life. “I do want you. But I would never take advantage of you.” He breathes. “Keegan. I’m a full grown woman.” You laugh. “I know what I want and what I want is you.”

You reach between the both of you, unbuttoning his jeans and he helps you prepare for what’s about to happen, and he can’t believe it.

That motherfucker pushed you right into his arms, just like he’d planned.

Keegan is still wet from his orgasm that he had just had, embarrassed because neither of you have a condom. You just have to risk it.

His filth would be good Lube anyways.

You raise yourself up and line him up with your entrance, the tip of his cock presses through your folds, sinking deep into you pussy. Your panties pulled to the side to give him full access to you. A breath hitches in your throat as he starts to stretch you, and you take in a deep breath. “Hey. Look at me.” He grasps your chin. “Relax. Keep going up and down on what you can take of me, get that pussy nice n wet for me.” He breathes, his sudden change of demeanor catches you off guard. This is Keegan, pure horny, needy, Keegan. “Yeah, like that.” He breathes. You raise your hips up and down, keeping a steady pace, letting your body adjust to him.

When you rest yourself onto him completely, completely full of Keegan’s girthy length, you realize what you’ve just done.

You’d given him your virginity.

It was no surprise really, it was bound to happen from the start. You had always had a massive crush on Keegan before you’d met Jacob, and always ran to Keegan because he was your friend. You didn’t know he liked you back, in fact. You knew you were in the friend zone. You’d liked him from the day you’d met him, but you’d take that to your grave.

The cry that leaves your lips when he bottoms out in you for the first time is pure bliss. You’re here finally, touching him. His cock is nestled up inside of you perfectly. A perfect fit. As you rock your hips into him, he’s falling apart. He can barely keep it together, nearing his second orgasm already. He already feels embarrassed and pathetic, it’s only going to get worse when he finishes early for a second time.

“Ah, you gotta slow down sweetheart.” He breathes. “I.. you’re making a fucking mess out of me, I just can’t help it.” He chuckles. “It’s okay, I want it.” You breathe. He hisses, tilting his head back. He shakes his head. “No, Cmon baby. Let’s work an orgasm out of this sweet pussy yeah?” He smirks, grasping hold of your hips. He thrusts up into you, smiling at the way your eyes widen. His lower stomach is swirling with want, pleasure seeping into every last cell inside of him. He’s never felt this good, ever. He holds back for as long as he can as he fucks himself into you, keeping a steady pace and working himself into you. You’re dripping down his shaft, soaking him. He can’t believe he’s doing this with you.

You whine out, clutching onto his seat, thank god for leather seats because this was going to be quite the mess to clean up later. A mewl leaves your lips and you clutch his shirt. “Oh Keegan, I’m gonna cum.” You whine. Clutching his shirt. He relaxes a bit and you grasp two handfuls of his shirt, rocking your hips into him. “Yeah I’m gonna cum too baby.” He relaxes completely, letting you finish him off. You’re grinding your hips into him like you were before but this time, he’s buried deep inside of you. You’re practically sobbing when you finally cum, crying out along with him as you feel his warmth filling you up. You’re gripping onto him so hard and he’s convulsing as you draw another orgasm out of him. He’s shaking when he’s come down from his high, in complete disbelief of what’s just happened. He’s so sensitive from the second orgasm you’d just given him. You take in a deep breath. Relaxing your hands and laying your head on his chest. He pulls you into him, panting hard. Still coming down from his orgasm. His heart is finally settling in his chest.

“I’m sorry tonight went so bad.” He breathes. “Tonight went perfect, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You blush.

“Oh yeah.. if you tell anyone what you did to me, I’m taking us both out.” He narrows his eyes. “I wouldn’t do that to you Keegan. Besides… I thought it was kind’ve hot.” You smile. He shakes his head. “Cmon, we can go clean up. You can stay over if you want.” He asks nervously.

“I’d love that.”

#cod keegan #keegan smut #call of duty keegan #keegan p russ #keegan russ x reader #keegan x reader #call of duty mw2 #soap mw2 #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #captain john price #price mw2 #alejandro mw2 #captain price #johnny soap mactavish #mw2 smut

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spenceragnewfics · 2 months

Note

f!reader losing virginity to spencer ? maybe as "just friends" to help her "get it out of the way" but they really like each other.

So...this was supposed to come out on Spencer's birthday but work and life got in the way...sorry.

WE’RE JUST FRIENDS? | Spencer Agnew x F!Reader | 18+ MINORS DNI

(also, yes the girl in the photo has a certain skin color but it's not indicative of the reader. I try to make these open to everyone as possible.)

TW: Smut, oral (f! receiving), fingering, cursing, two idiots in love

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

DESCRIPTION: You have told you're best friend Spencer everything...well except two things. You're in love with him and you're still a virgin. Two things you never plan to tell him...until you do.

She never understood why people couldn’t just be friends. Opposite genders can be friends and not have any romantic feelings. Is it kind of hypocritical coming from her…yeah, but not totally.

You see, Y/N has feelings for her best friend since college but is purely platonic with all her other male friends; Chanse, Shayne, Tommy, Ian, Anthony, and all the other guys at Smosh. She knows the main reason she’s attracted to Spencer and has been for years, he’s himself. It’s hard to explain unless you know Spencer but what made her fall for him…is him.

It’s not like her feelings are so intense she couldn’t date anyone else, in fact, she’s dated a couple of guys but they haven’t lasted for vastly different reasons. One thing has been one of the constant reasons for the break up, you don’t want to sleep with them.

She doesn't know why, but she has yet to date anyone who has made her feel comfortable enough to lose her virginity to, not wanting to regret it later on. That’s something she hasn’t told anyone, not even Spencer because she doesn't know how to explain why she hasn't yet. It’s something she never thought she would tell him until one night of drinks, pizza, and gaming. A semi-regular night for the two of them, especially after a long shoot week.

It was barely midnight, the two of them had been hanging out for like four hours at this point just talking, eating, and trying to beat the other at Mario Kart or play duos on Fortnite.

The night had gotten away from them after an epic Battle Royale about an hour ago where they celebrated with an extra drink and chatting. Like everything, somehow they got onto the topic of dating, both of them being single for almost, or over in Spencer's case, a year. That then delved into talking about more intimate stuff, “Honestly, I’m so fucking happy that I lost my virginity in high school. I could not imagine still being a virgin now. Too much pressure.” He quips after he makes a joke about the movie 40-year-old Virgin.

Y/N looks at him confused and lowkey, panicking, “Why do you say that? I don’t think it’d be that bad.” She confesses, sipping more of her drink. “Dude, when you’re in high school or college it’s all just part of the experience. You barely have dated anyone so there isn’t much pressure. Now though, fuck dude!” He says, rubbing his face in frustration at the thought and she looks down.

“There would be so much pressure at this point. You’ve dated so many people and at this point, it’s probably just you being in your head.”

“Or you’re scared to give it away and regret it. Guys losing their virginity is a lot more different than girls. You have to remember that, Spence. A lot more at stake too.” She looks at him, trying to show a stoic face but Spencer isn’t buying it.

Y/N is always someone who tries to show both sides of the coin but is usually more silly about it. Now, she’s being very serious and trying to act stoic, like she’s hiding something. It’s not something he wouldn’t have noticed unless they had been friends this long.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to strike a nerve. I know you’re all about being things neutral but this seems like a bit more than usual. What’s up?” She looks at him confused, trying not to get embarrassed and say something she doesn’t want to. “Nothing, I just think that sometimes this whole thing is oversimplified.” He raises an eyebrow, “You’re acting like you’re still…” He trails off when she looks down and squeezes her eyes shut.

“Oh my god! Y/N! What the fuck! I thought you and-”

“We were but I changed my mind. Every time I thought about possibly losing it to him I felt nothing but dread. Same thing with the other guys. I don’t want to regret it.” She plays with her fingers, not wanting to look him in the eye.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She looks at him shocked, “Why would I need to tell you? It’s personal but also how the hell do I bring that up?” She says before speaking in a silly voice, “Oh, Spencer, I gotta tell ya, buddy. I’m a virgin because I get major anxiety and overthink it to where I just haven’t done it.” She does a silly laugh that sounds a lot like Goofy.

“Okay, I get it. This is a sensitive topic, I’m sorry.” He apologizes, looking at her sadly and she feels her heart pinch. “It’s not that. I just…I want to. I want to so badly but I just get so anxious and overthink everything. Sometimes I think that it’d be easier to find someone to hook up with or just get an escort or something.” She looks at him, “Or someone I have been friends with forever basically and I trust more than anything.”

Spencer looks at her confused until she raises a brow and he gets the message, “Oh, you mean me? Really?” She nods, playing with her fingers again as she gets nervous. “Yeah, I mean. I know I wouldn’t regret it with you because you’re my best friend. I don’t think there is a guy I trust more than you.” She confesses, making his face light up.

“I would be honored. Holy shit, you won’t regret this. I promise.” He says, sounding like an excited young kid who just got picked first for baseball. She giggles at his silly antics before letting out a shocked yelp when he pulls her close. “So, are you more dominant or submissive or…” She shrugs her shoulders. Spencer shrugs his as well before putting his hand on her cheek, pulling her in gently before connecting their lips.

She puts her hand on his as her other moves into his hair. He sighs into the kiss as her nails scratch at his scalp, sending chills down his spine. Gently, he lays her down on the couch as his lips move to cheek then to her jaw, and landing lastly on her neck.

He feels his pants tighten as she lets out soft sighs from his lips on her sensitive neck. His tongue licks a long stripe along it before he sucks on her pulse point. Her hand pulls at his hair in response as she mutters out his name softly, the sound making him harder by the second.

Unknown to Y/N, Spencer was slowly coming to the realization of his own feelings for her. What he would always brush off as anxiety of her dating someone new and unknown to him has turned out to be jealously. Jealous that these random guys would take you out and not him. He finally has his chance to test the waters…well test a little more than the waters.

His lips continue to work on her neck but stop when she starts to giggle. “What, what’s so funny?” He asks, moving back a little and chuckling himself. “Your beard tickles a bit. I like it though.” She’s coy about her words, he smiles at her shyness before going back to kissing her neck as she giggles again.

This is nothing he’s felt before. The other girls he had dated and slept with were all serious about sex. They didn’t want or think that sex could be playful and fun but in this moment Spencer feels his heart soar. He’s pulled out of his trance as she tries to pull off his t-shirt, he helps her take the article of clothing off before slipping his hands under her shirt.

He holds back a moan just at the feeling of her lace bra, not even seeing it in person. She giggles before slipping the shirt over her head and swears his eyes are popping out of his head. “I knew you had awesome tits, but holy fuck!” He groans as he puts his face between them.

His warm breath fans over them, sending chills down her body before his warm tongue licks her lace-covered nipple. She bites her lip as he does the same to the other before pulling her bra down to expose the flesh fully.

A strangled moan falls from her lips when he wraps his around her right nipple. His thumb and forefinger play with her left, rolling and gently tugging it. She feels herself getting wetter with each tug as her hands tangle in his hair. He continues to stimulate her nipples for a while before moving down with open mouth kisses.

“Spence, you don’t have to-”

“I want you, now sit back relax and enjoy the show.” He jokes with his sassy smirk before kissing her plush thighs. She sighs comfortably at the feeling before laughing when he playfully bites her thigh. “Sorry, you just tasted too good not to have a bite.”

Her eyes stay on him as his beard tickles her thigh before he moves to be face-first with her pussy. His finger come up to spread her lips as she feels her cheeks heat up, not used to having someone see so much of her. Her thighs start to close but Spencer stops them before they can. “Don’t hide yourself. You’re beautiful.” He assures her as he licks a long strip up her slit.

The new feeling makes her eyes roll as she breathes shakily. He continues to give long licks before moving to suck on her clit. “Holy fuck!” She moans, her hands quickly finding a place in his hair as she relishes in the new feeling.

She had used vibrators and other toys but nothing had felt like this before. His tongue swirls around her clit a few times before sucking again. He moves a finger to her entrance, “I’m going to put a finger in. It might feel weird at first.” She nods, moving a hand down to his arm. She releases a breath at the uncomfortable feeling, her hand squeezes his arm.

“Are you okay?” He asks his finger fully inside. “Yeah, just feels… different.” She confesses as she starts to feel embarrassed. “It’ll feel better in a bit, just gotta get you warmed up a bit.” His finger thrusts in and out for a moment before he adds a second. She moans softly when adds a second and whimpers as they move. “Is it feeling better?” He asks, she responds with a sweet moan that makes his cheeks heat up.

His fingers continue going in and out, stretching her out slightly. His fingers graze the spongy spot inside her, “Oh my, do that again! Please.” She begs. The feeling made her see stars, who is Spencer not to please? His finger rubs the spongy spot as she starts to feel herself get close.

“Yes, yes, just like that-Fuck!” She screams when his lips wrap around her clit again. He licks and sucks intermittently while still playing with her G-spot as she screams his name. “Spencer! Fuck! I’m gonna cum!” She yells as the knot in her stomach snaps.

He licks and sucks her clean before sitting up. Pulling off his hoodie and pants. He aligns himself with her leaking hole, “This will probably hurt, but it’ll subside. I promise.” She nods as he slowly pushes in.

While the tight feeling makes him moan loudly, having been a while since he slept with anyone, Y/N bites her lip, the feeling being intruding and uncomfortable. Noticing her discomfort, he leans down and kisses her sweetly, trying to distract her as he continues to sink in.

Spencer is just a bit above average in length but more girthy than most. The stretch is something Y/N will come to love but for the first time, it’s a different feeling than anything she’s ever felt. Her face unconsciously skews in a bit of pain when he’s fully inside.

Leaning down, he locks their lips. His hips are still as he gives her time to adjust, the feeling of her wrapped around him is making it hard to keep still though. Her hands tangle in his hair once again and gently pull when she’s adjusted, giving them the okay to move.

His thrusts start out slow, letting her body adjust to the new sensations and the starting pain slowly melts away. He intertwines their fingers as he thrusts at the same pace. The gesture is small but is enough to make her feel safe and loved by the man on top of her.

It takes about a minute before Y/N starts to moan, “Faster, please Spencer.” She begs needing to feel more. It takes everything in him not to smirk as his hips pick up speed. “Oh god.” She moans, wrapping her legs around his waist to keep him close.

Spencer keeps a steady fast pace, his tip hitting her G-Spot as he moves his hips a little. The only sounds in the room are skin-on-skin, moans, and heavy breathing. The two are eye-locked, watching the other’s face and expressions.

“Shit, I’m close.” Y/N moans, feeling the familiar knot forming. “Me too, shit,” Spencer groans as his hand moves to rub her clit. “Fuck, Spencer!” She practically screams with the added sensation.

“Cum for me, Y/N. Please cum all over me.” He moans, his thrusts getting sporadic. She screams his name as the knot bursts in her stomach and she cums on his dick. He groans as she clenches around him, making it hard for him to not cum inside her. He continues to thrust through her high before he starts to breathe very heavily.

“Where do you want me to cum?” He struggles to get out, feeling very close. “I don’t care.” She says, her voice very breathy. He pulls out and only strokes himself a few times before he cums on her chest.

Coming down from his high, the two look at each other and then laugh. “Oh my god, that was amazing. How the hell are you still single?” She jokes as he lays on top of her. “Just haven’t found the right one yet.” He says, his eyes looking at her softly as she runs a hand through his hair.

“Maybe you just haven’t been looking in the right places.” She smiles at him and he leans in, “Or maybe I just have been overlooking a certain someone.” he says before kissing her.

#smosh #smosh cast #smosh games #smosh mouth #spencer agnew #smosh pit #spencer agnew x reader #smosh imagine #smosh x reader #fanfiction #fluff #spencer agnew fluff #romance #imagine #request #spencer agnew smut #smut

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maddie-grove · 5 months

Text

I have a popular post about how I don’t enjoy it when love stories act like it would undermine the central romance if one or both of the protagonists had a positive experience with an ex or former sexual partner, and I just want to say: it’s really all about the framing.

It’s totally chill if a protagonist has never been in love before, for whatever reason. Maybe they have intimacy issues, or they were literally raised by wolves in the Canadian wilderness, or they’re too busy, or they were a child oblate, or they just never clicked with anyone that way, or they were married to a grotesquely evil Renaissance nobleman. If we’re supposed to be like “awww that’s nice, they are experiencing romantic love for the first time” or “I am so happy that something nice is happening to this girl after her experiences with the horrible duke,” that’s cool.

It’s also fine, in my book, if a protagonist has never had really good sex before. Not everyone has an easy time getting into it and, to be frank, not everyone has the good luck to encounter a considerate or generous lover immediately after becoming sexually active.

Here are some examples where I do think there are problems:

The historical romance author wants to establish that the hero is not a virgin, but she doesn’t want to make him a player and she doesn’t want to give him a bad ex as a source of angst and she doesn’t want him to have been in love before. So she gives him a long-term paid mistress. But, instead of going with “Adrian enjoyed Lily’s company and thought she was pretty/clever/pleasant, but obviously it was a business relationship on both sides,” you get something like “Adrian had never felt anything for Lily. She was merely a vessel for his manly needs.” And it’s like you knew this woman for years! Yet I have warmer feelings towards the friendly lady who works at the pharmacy! What’s wrong with you?

The Regency heroine was happily married to one dude, who died tragically young. She falls in love with her late husband’s best friend, also her friend, who has been in love with her since before the husband died but he never acted on it because it would have been wrong and hurtful to his friend. They both feel a little weird/guilty about getting together, but it’s clear that they aren’t actually disrespecting the late husband’s memory and he’d probably be happy for them if he knew. This is all good and fine, until the hero and heroine are making love and the heroine muses to herself that the hero is better in bed than her late husband. This honestly wouldn’t feel so sour if it had been established at the beginning that they never clicked sexually despite loving each other, but in that moment it feels like a cheap shot at a nice dead guy. And for what? So the audience has no doubt that the hero is the best sex man in the world?

Someone writes a fanfic where Character A has a non-endgame romance with Character C, when eventually Character A will end up with Character B. The A/C romance is obviously not going to last for well-established reasons, but it’s sweet and C is presented sympathetically. Until the author abruptly makes C a bitch in a non-canonical way when it’s time for them to break up, even though that’s far from the most natural way for the breakup to happen.

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plutoispurplw · 7 months

Text

Cardigan

Summary: Spencer is having dudes about his feelings towards JJ and reader can't bear it.

Couple: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Spencer being a bad boyfriend, mention of prision and drugs.

A/N: I just write this because haunted of my favorite blonde but ended up in cardigan. Second part is probably in saturday or sunday.

Second part!

All these years for what? He always gonna dude about their relationship.

After he was held hostage with JJ he started to act differently towards you, he was more cold and looked guilty when you tried to hug him.

In a case when you both shared a room, you lay down on the bed by his side, it was almost midnight. You try to move closer to him but he just moves away just a little, you get nervous for a moment but you decide to push the thoughts aside.

"Spencer I wanna talk with you about something important." You look at him in the eyes, sitting against the gray headboard of the bed.

"I notice that you've been acting weird and-"

He didn't let you finish, normally he wouldn’t do that and less in a conversation like this. "Please don't start now Y/N, nothing is happening with me. Let's just sleep okay?" The tone of his voice was annoyed and sounded tired, his facial expression was annoyed

You felt your heart break a little at his words but you tried to mend it by telling yourself that he maybe was frustrated with the case and that you have to stop overthinking.

Nothing was wrong.

You lay down again in the bed and put the beige blanket over your body and his. "Okay, I'm sorry, I was just worried about you and if something was wrong."

His expression changed again and he looked filled with guilt. "Don't apologize, you just were worried. Let's just sleep okay, sweetheart?" It was the name that he called you but it felt like ice against your warm skin. It was burning but you could bear it.

You started to be more worried, maybe he was having problems again with drugs? That would explain the guilty face that receives you when you kiss him.

Questions, that what you had so you started to ask him what was happening but he always denied everything, he thought that you were that stupid?

In the wedding of Rossi, you notice the looks between him and JJ, but you decide to ignore that even if it gives you a bad feeling in your guts, maybe you just were exaggerating.

Weeks later he and you were in the apartment, he was sitting on the couch reading a book, and you approached him and sat on his lap. Normally he would put the book down and kiss you but now he didn't do that, he kept reading like you weren't there.

"Spencer, what's happening?" Your voice was tired this time, you were tired of this, of never knowing what was wrong.

He put the book down and looked at you in the eyes, he looked annoyed by you again, and you felt hurt. "Nothing is happ-"

Now you were the one interrupting him, your voice was louder. "Stop saying that, I know something is wrong so just tell me what is happening."

He put you on the couch and got up, he was pacing around the living room, he looked stressed out and you were just looking at the floor. That's when he starts talking.

When you hear his words your mind when just blank, and your face doesn’t have any emotions for a moment, the only thing that could betray your sadness is that the characteristic light in your gaze is gone.

How he could heal and draw over your scars just to make new ones, scars that would never heal.

After that you started to cry, all your emotions were being poured into your salty tears. He tried to comfort you but you didn't let him.

"You feel something for her?" He stayed quiet, he didn't look at your eyes. That told you everything that you have to know.

How could he love her? You were the one who listened to his rants and facts. You were the one who comforted him when he had nightmares or couldn't sleep because of the memories from prison, from his addiction, from everything bad that happened to him. You were the one who always loved him and the one who would give their life without thinking for him.

"She is married and she has kids Spencer!" You yell at him, anger starts to grow inside you along with the sadness from your broken heart.

"I know," He calmly told you, how could he be calm after breaking your heart?

Maybe you weren't that important to him, maybe you were the consolation prize after all.

"Y/N, I love you, I need you to know that." His hands cupped your face, hands that were always delicate with you, like you were a doll of porcelain. For an instant, you were gonna get closer to kiss him, But you noticed his gaze, filled with guilt and pity for you.

You got up and ran towards the bedroom, the suitcase on the bed while you were filling it with clothes and your things. Tears wetting your clothes and your cheeks.

He then spoke again. "Please wait Y/N, calm down." He tried to hug you from behind you, it felt like he was trying to contain you.

You turn around and push him away from your body, from your embrace. "Stop saying that I need to calm down! You just said that maybe you still love Jennifer, how the fuck do you want me to feel about it?" You yell at him at the top of your lungs. You take a deep breath and keep packing your things.

He let you keep packing the suitcase, he didn't try to stop you again.

When you ended up filling your suitcase you walked to the principal door of the apartment, ready to go anywhere but here, you couldn't bear the thought of sleeping in the same bed where he told you that he loved you for the first time.

When you look back you find him with his eyes crystallized, the guilt was consuming him. Your fool heart broke again at the sight of him like this but your brain didn’t let you go back so you stepped out of the apartment.

After that you came to our friend's house and told her everything, she let you cry on her shoulder and told you to stay and don't go back still.

In the middle of the night, you woke up, wishing that this was just a really bad dream but that didn't happen, you were in the guest room alone.

Now you couldn't sleep without his welcoming warm that embraces you through the most cold nights.

After all, you always gonna be his second choice, the one that he could always count on to comfort him even if he didn't reciprocate your feelings.

You should know better than wanting to hug him and forgive him but you couldn't help that feeling, you thought that he was the love of your life, the father of your kids, the one you would die with.

You put your hand on top of your belly, how you were supposed to tell him that you were pregnant with his child after that? You didn't know what to do.

You felt like an old cardigan under someone's bed waiting to be found again and be used.

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taintedcigs · 1 year

Text

dancing with our hands tied part II — s.h

you can find part I here

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ ONLY, minors dni!!, ANGST, making out, swearing, drinking, alcohol mention, JEALOUSY!!! eddie's a bit of an asshole i am sorry, but so is steve sometimes!! and so is reader? idk!

summary: in which steve is in love with his best friend's ex. (wc: 8k+)

a/n: this is part 2 of this fic here !! pls make sure to read it before this!! anddd, im sorry for how confusing the first part was, BUT HERE'S THE HIDEOUT INCIDENT!! and i didn't use POVs this time and i kinda gave up on dates ugrhh. also i have a little bonus content at the end even tho its so a lil silly!!! also did not proof-read this, pls ignore any mistakes or ill scream n d*e

Friday, February 7, 1986 || The Hideout.

Steve stole a glance in your direction, and immediately realized the mistake he had made.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Why did you have to be so fucking perfect? Why did you have to have the most contagious laugh that immediately brought a warm smile to his lips?

Steve leaned against the bar as he watched you further, reveling at the way your eyes crinkled at the corners when you gave Robin a giggle, nose scrunching as you mimicked whatever story you were telling, drawing him in without even having a clue on the effect you had on him.

Your eyes met his for a brief moment, his heart pounded inside of his ribcage when you looked at him like that, as if your eyes were smiling at him. He held your gaze, giving you a subtle nod.

God, if Steve didn’t tell you how he felt about you soon, he was sure he was going to explode.

He turned back to the bar, head filled with the idea of opening up to you, he had to do it soon or else—

“Harrington!” Eddie beamed, interrupting his thoughts as he grabbed onto Steve’s shoulders, “You mind helpin’ me out?” He grinned, causing Steve’s brows to furrow.

“Can you put in a good word for me?” Eddie muttered, hand pointing toward the booth, “What are you talking about?” Steve muttered, his eyes following him.

“Y/N.” Steve hoped to God that Eddie didn’t notice the shock in his eyes, blinking quickly as he tried to control the jealousy building within him.

“I swear I’ve had the biggest crush on her,” Eddie exclaimed. Steve couldn’t help the way his face fell; he wondered if Eddie could notice it, but by the way he grinned at you, Eddie probably had no fucking clue about his feelings for you.

“Since when?” Steve sounded bitter, chewing at the inside of his mouth to stop himself, “Uh, since forever, dude,” Eddie said, chuckling.

“Put in a little good word for me, yea? I know you guys are close and shit,” Eddie gushed as he squeezed Steve’s shoulders again, and Steve was tense now, his entire body almost burning with rage and resentment.

Maybe it was wrong for Steve to be petty about this; maybe it wasn’t fair to you that he spent the rest of the night ignoring you; maybe it wasn’t right for him to act this way, but Steve had been on this rodeo before.

He was always the second choice, and he knew that he was never going to be someone’s priority. Because of that, his reaction was warranted; at least that’s what he believed. Ignoring you completely while he bitterly watched Eddie make moves on you was the only way he could cope with it.

And it was driving him crazy, knowing that Eddie was getting under your skin with the advice he got from Steve and learning everything about you from him.

At first, it was all just some passive aggressiveness, until it turned into something bigger, until you finally couldn’t take it anymore.

Because there stood Steve, across from the gang’s booth, leaning over the wall as he whispered something into Tammy’s ear—Steve’s ex.

With her shiny blonde hair and her big eyes, she threw him a hearty giggle, sticking to his side, while Steve barely blinked, allowing her to drool all over him.

You had no right to be jealous, not when Steve had no clue about your feelings, not when Steve didn’t owe you a thing, but you couldn’t help the frown on your face as he ignored you all night and was fine with stupid Tammy Thompson being all over him.

Your throat burned with the number of shots you took, you could never handle your tequila, but the numbness was exactly what you needed. Your mind was getting dizzier with Steve being pushed back into your thoughts.

You could feel yourself getting lighter and lighter with each sip, gaze barely holding over Steve’s direction anymore when Eddie had been keeping you company the whole night.

To think Steve was supposed to be your close friend felt like a joke now. The more he was with the blondie, the more you felt your stomach churning, gaze drifting toward Eddie to keep yourself from looking in his direction.

You felt desperate.

Steve probably saw you as the girl who was wrapped around his finger, the girl who followed him around like a puppy. Maybe that’s why he was ignoring you, trying to keep you from clinging to him.

You fidgeted in your seat; not being able to get up and tear her off of him was killing you, and your head was pounding because of the amount alcohol in your system.

It was getting harder to ignore the jealousy that gnawed at your insides.

Eddie didn’t seem to notice anything, but Steve did.

With each shot you took, with each step you took closer to Eddie, Steve couldn’t help the sharp pain he felt in his chest, the same rage of jealousy gnawing at him as well. He knew he couldn’t do anything about it, too, so he buried it deeper and deeper until he could make sure those feelings for you were impossible to reach.

You were going to be dating Eddie, and Steve needed to get over you as fast as he could.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t mind the attention coming from his ex.

By the time Steve arrived back at the booth, Nancy and Jonathan were already gone, you were in the bathroom—possibly puking your guts out, and Robin was getting ready to leave.

“What the fuck happened here?” He asked, concern washing over his face. “She drank a bit too much,” Robin mumbled, knowing how much Steve cared about you.

“You should maybe check on her, yea?” She gave Steve an all-knowing look, causing him to shrug.

“I can’t—” Robin interrupted him with a death glare.

“I would, but I have to go or my mom will actually kill me this time,” She groaned, saying her goodbyes before leaving in a hurry.

“Dude, I gotta bail too,” Eddie puffed his cheeks as he put on his leather jacket. “What?” Steve asked, baffled.

“She’s wasted!” He exclaimed, his eyebrows shooting up quickly, causing Eddie to shrug, “She’s probably puking her guts out right now, she needs you.” Steve’s eyes narrowed; he couldn’t believe that Eddie would even think about leaving you alone in a condition like this.

“Gross, dude,” Eddie said, making a face as he cringed, causing Steve to roll his eyes.

“Real fuckin’ mature, Munson.”

“You drop her home, man, I’m too fuckin’ hammered for all of this.” He gave Steve’s shoulder another tight squeeze; this time Steve was sure his blood was boiling, his eyes darkening with each word Eddie spoke.

This asshole had the audacity to use him to try to date you, and he couldn’t even fucking treat you, right? Steve shook off his thoughts before he could do something he knew he would regret.

Eddie was his best friend, and he could never let his feelings for you get in the way of you actually being happy.

“Are you going to get a cab?” Steve asked, “Yeah,” Eddie muttered mindlessly.

“Then give me your jacket.” Steve’s tone was now cold, almost demanding, and his demeanor changing within seconds was throwing Eddie off,

“No fuckin’ way,” Eddie chuckled mockingly, he didn’t notice the serious gaze Steve holds.

“Dude, your house is five minutes away, you’ll be fine, just give me your jacket,” He demanded again.

“Why the fuck would I do that?” Eddie spat.

“Because you asshole, it’s the middle of February and Y/N is wearing a fucking dress, it’s the least you could do for leaving her like that.”

“Why don’t you give her yours?” Steve didn’t know how to control the rage coursing through his veins.

“Do you see me wearing a fucking jacket?” Eddie was sure he had never seen Steve like this, with those veins in his forehead visible as he could feel his fists clench. Eddie’s eyes widened, clearly taken aback by Steve’s bizarre behavior.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Eddie mumbled before taking off the jacket with a few huffs escaping from his lips.

“There, you happy, man?” Eddie hissed, almost tossing the jacket toward Steve, “Fucking ecstatic,” Steve replied with an angry smirk.

Steve sighed before he made his way to the bathroom. Not knowing what was waiting for him inside, he knocked on the door hesitantly and asked, “Y–you okay?” The shakiness in his voice was exposing him.

A faint ‘Yeah’ was all he heard before you unlocked the door.

And there you laid on the dirty bathroom tiles, your hair disheveled, make-up smudged, and you could barely get your head up from the toilet seat.

Steve’s heart sank, guilt settling in his insides again like an old friend. He knew he couldn’t always take care of you, and he knew that you’d be with Eddie soon, but he couldn’t help but feel the crushing weight of guilt when all of this could’ve been avoided if he was just there for you.

And his mind was still reeling about the fact that Eddie dared to leave you like this.

Would the fucker even be able to treat you right?

“Want me to help you?” He asked, hands itching to reach out and hold you, but you dismissed him like it was nothing, like he didn’t mean anything to you anymore, and it had only been an hour since Steve had learned that Eddie was into you.

“No,” Even when you were this messed up, you held onto your grudge, shutting out any feelings of understanding or empathy toward Steve, even though he was only trying to help you out.

“I can help, to, you know—hold your hair and stuff,” He stuttered, he had never been this nervous around you.

You flushed the toilet as you attempted to get up, “I’m not—I didn’t throw up,” Your words were slurred.

“If you… if you feel like throwing up, I can—”

“No!” You exclaimed a bit too loudly, throwing him a cold stare. “I’m just trying to help you, Y/N.” His tone sounded disappointed, but you could care less when he had acted like a jerk most of the night.

“I don’t need your help,” You snapped while flushing the toilet, trying to stand still, your head growing dizzier each time you moved.

Steve breathed a heavy sigh and said, “Here.” He ignored your protests as he helped you up, warm hands were tight around your waist. If you weren’t this embarrassingly drunk and a huge mess, you would’ve started getting your hopes up.

But not after today, not after he ignored you to be with Tammy Thompson all fucking night.

“I got it!” You spat, trying to free yourself from his hold. “Let me help, please.” This was the most genuine he had been tonight, his voice almost pleading as he threw you that pitiful look, and you hated it.

You hated being the one Steve pitied and not the one he pined after, but you swallowed your pride when you realized you couldn’t even walk properly.

You barely questioned everyone’s absence when your mind was filled with Steve.

And once he dragged you out of the bar, you couldn’t help the petty words that escaped your lips; you couldn’t stop them even if you wanted to.

“You can get back to your girlfriend now,” You muttered bitterly, your voice clear. There was venom in your tone, and your grudge was poison with the way it seeped into your words.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Steve sighed, and you lightly pushed him off of you as you stood still on your own.

“Does the name Tammy Thompson ring a bell?” You narrowed your eyes. You wish you could tape your mouth right now and stop yourself from spilling so much of your feelings to Steve.

“What does that have to do with anything, Y/N?” His tone remained cold now; your heart was in his hands, and he was squeezing it each time he distanced himself from you.

“You’re such a fucking hypocrite,” Each time you dismissed him, you unknowingly tore open the old wound in his heart, keeping it fresh.

“If—if you wanted to take care of me so badly, then why did you ignore me all fuckin’ night?” Your face heated with anger, and your tone was tinged with frustration.

“Should go back to fuckin’ blondie over there,” You muttered under your breath, avoiding eye contact with him, unable to conceal the bitterness you were holding onto.

“Oh my god,” The realization dawned on Steve at a crawl.

You were jealous of him.

“You are jealous,” Steve couldn’t help the annoying smile on his lips, much to your dismay. You were jealous of him, and as selfish as it was, it was amusing to him.

“What?” You snapped, eyes narrowing, “I’m not jealous—” The look Steve threw at you was enough to break you. “Jerk,” You mumbled under your breath. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Oh, it dooooeees,” He said, dragging his words out to annoy you further, as he took a step closer to you, almost closing the distance that he had been keen on protecting the entire night.

He was frustrating, so fucking frustrating, spinning your head faster than all the booze in your system. You couldn’t help the way your eyes grew mellow when he looked at you like that, you wanted to take all of him in.

This entire day was beginning to grow tiring, from Eddie’s sudden interest in you to Steve’s emotional whiplash, and now, since you couldn’t keep your mouth shut for one goddamn second, he was aware of your unnecessary jealousy.

“I’m not doin’ this with you,” You slurred again, hands wrapping around yourself almost as an attempt to conceal yourself from him, he could see right through you, and it was making you feel things you were not ready for.

“W—where is Eddie?” Those were the worst three words that could come out of your mouth. Just when Steve was basking in the glory and the hope that you were jealous of him, you decided to bring up Eddie, and with just his name rolling off your lips, you were re-opening his wounds.

Why not him?

Why was it never Steve?

Steve gulped; physically, he wasn’t sure what step to take would be better, to put a distance between you and him or to put a distance between him and Eddie.

And even though he knew he would regret doing this like there’s no tomorrow, even though Eddie doesn’t fucking deserve this decency, or you, Steve decided that he can’t do this to his friend.

“At least he’ll take me home!” You exclaimed so confidently that Steve couldn’t help the dry chuckle that escaped his lips.

“Yeah, I’m sure he would.” Steve quipped, grinning. He was mocking you again, unaware of your growing frustrations.

“What the hell is your problem?” You narrowed your eyes. “Unlike you, he didn’t ignore me all night to be with his ex, and he gave me his jacket.” Steve chuckled at that, again, frustrating you more and more, each time he opened his mouth.

With an irritated frown, you shot a sharp glance at him and asked, “Is everything a fucking joke to you?”

“Do you enjoy making me upset?” You crossed your arms against your chest, “You don’t give a fuck about anyone but yourself!” You snapped, not even knowing know why you uttered those words, you knew better than anyone that Steve wasn’t selfish; he never once put himself in front of his friends, but you were aiming to hurt him, and he was ready to bite back now.

“You are so fucking ridiculous, I—I can’t do this with you,” You murmured dejectedly, not being able to help it when your voice cracked; he was so embedded in your brain that you couldn’t form coherent words with the space he took up in your mind.

“You have no idea what you’re even talking about,” He whispered, shaking his head. If only you knew.

“Did you actually stop to think about how shitty it makes me feel when you give me these stupid emotional whiplashes?” You asked, and if you dared to get closer to him, you might’ve lost the purpose of the argument, your gaze drooping down to his lips every few seconds.

Steve stared at you blankly; you were unable to make anything out of his expressions, he looked at you as if you never existed to him, on a fucking whim.

Your lips tremble, a telltale sign that you would break soon.

His no response spoke volumes to you, “Of course you didn't.” You gave him a dry chuckle, filled with bitterness, and turned on your heel to walk away from him.

The slight breeze of February air hit you harder than Steve’s words.

He sighed a heavy breath when he heard you gasp at the coldness, hand reaching out to your arm before he spun you to meet his gaze again,

“Watch it, Y/N.” The words slipped past his lips forcefully, his chest puffing down with each breath he took. He was so fucking close that one move from you would change everything.

The tension was palpable; unspoken words and emotions hung in the space between the two of you.

And there it was.

There were his emotions again, filling his gaze quicker than you realized. If you weren’t this shitfaced, you could possibly do something about the ever so slightly distance between you, your foreheads almost touching. But your mind was spinning with endless possibilities. “Or what?” You teased; maybe it wasn’t the right time to do so, but you wanted to push him, make him break, the same way he did to you.

How far was he willing to take it?

His grip on your arm tightened; it wasn’t harsh, but tight enough to send shivers down your spine. And you couldn’t determine a single thing he was thinking again, eyes locked with each other without a single word being spoken.

You could sense his mind wandering off to find you a proper answer, trying to pick his words carefully, but you didn’t want that.

You wanted to know what he was thinking—what was going through his mind when he looked at you like you meant something to him, like he was ready to risk it all.

It was momentarily, but you could see it all—the sudden flint of confidence that didn’t waver enough to be convincing.

It wasn’t long until he returned to the cold demeanor he had been reserving just for you. “No, you’re not fucking worth it,” He muttered, taking a step back before he bit the inside of his cheek—hard. The metallic taste of blood flooded his senses, but he could care less; if he hadn’t done it, he would’ve poured his heart out.

He would’ve risked it all just to see those sparks in your eyes, but with five words, he had managed to kill it, slitting all the possibilities with the sharpest knife he could find.

“W–what?” Your voice cracked, and you fucking hated it. You hated being this weak in front of him, with tears ready to spill every time you had an argument, even over the smallest things.

“Just–Fuck! Look at you,” He didn’t want to say it; he didn’t want to burn this bridge with you, but he knew he had to for his own sake and for you to be happy with Eddie.

“You—you’re all over the place, always relying on others to take care of you, just one fucking night I didn’t baby you…” He shook his head. “And you act like I’m fuckin’ insane for doing that!” His voice was calm and collected, and that was what was throwing you off. How could he relay your insecurities in front of you, crush your heart to pieces, and pretend as if what he was saying was okay?

You couldn’t help it when tears flooded your vision. You tried not to let them get to you, but the alcohol in your system was far too dizzying and hormonal to stop your emotions from flowing. You didn’t know why he decided to utter those words, but it hurt.

Each of the gazes you shared and each word that transpired, deepened the wound in your insides that you didn’t even know existed, your feelings were at the surface, and you were vulnerable at his expense.

But Steve didn’t care.

“I—I can’t believe you’d say that,” You whispered, blinking the tears away when you took a step back, the hurt subsiding when it transformed into rage. “Fuck you,” You spat, your words weren’t slurred this time, but your vision was blurry again, barely taking another look at him when you started to walk away.

And he didn’t call out after you; he didn’t even flinch.

You were all alone.

You let your emotions overtake you as you started sobbing, sniffling every once in a while as you tried to comfort yourself.

Eddie could drop you home, you tried to reassure yourself, you knew there was a payphone close to The Hideout, if you could just walk a few more minutes, you could just call him—but holy fuck, did your feet hurt. You cursed yourself for not listening to Nancy when she told you to wear more comfortable shoes.

You were wobbly now, tears pouring down your cheeks, your smudged mascara distorting your view further, and it was dark out, so fucking dark that it started to scare you.

Your mind reeled more and more, and your chest felt trapped with each shallow breath you took. Eddie would’ve never uttered those words to you, your angry mind decided, Eddie wouldn’t flirt with girls—his exes—in front of you.

Eddie would never give you this sort of emotional whiplash.

And most importantly, Eddie would never leave you like this.

You felt so tired, just wanting to sleep, but you knew you couldn’t turn back now. Your feet were aching, but you’d rather they blistered than see Steve again.

You sat on the ground, relief washing over you when you got rid of your shoes, and the dirty, cold concrete ground felt so comforting that you nuzzled into the leather jacket, arms wrapped around yourself to provide more warmth as you sniffled into it.

You’re not sure if you can ever be with Steve anymore.

Sure, you could still be friends because you did have many big, stupid fights—granted, none of them were like this; this was different.

This was the first big fight you had with him since you realized your feelings for him, and it hurt.

Steve was not who you thought he was.

He was never going to love you.

He only saw you as his friend, and right now, even that was questionable.

And there you were, pathetically pining after him while he was drooling all over other girls, chasing him down and making a mess of yourself just for him to leave you like this.

You sniffled again; Eddie would never, and he actually was interested in you.

God, how you wished he could find you now, take you home, and whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he tried to mend what Steve broke.

You knew it was selfish, but it was the only way.

Maybe if Eddie could make you forget him completely, he could remind you that you weren’t a mess and that you were perfect.

Your vision blurred again, hot tears were stinging your eyes, but the ground was so comfortable.

Steve was right, you were a mess, you were a huge fucking mess, and you were pathetic, but you didn’t care as you hugged yourself further, head falling into your lap as you let yourself fall more and more into the deep pit of despair.

And that’s the last thing you remembered.

You didn’t remember Steve running after you as he realized how much he fucked up; you don’t remember Steve seeing you curled up into a ball, almost falling asleep.

You don’t remember Steve lifting you up and carrying you before anything bad happened to you.

You don’t remember the apologies Steve muttered into your ear on the ride home, how he checked every few seconds to make sure you were okay, his hands never leaving yours as he wanted to punch himself for even putting you in a position like this.

You don’t remember Steve whispering sweet nothings into your ear when he tucks you in, and you don’t remember him almost staying till the morning to make sure you were okay and didn’t get sick.

The last thing you remember was the fight.

You woke up the next morning with a groan, and you were sure no painkiller was going to help the pounding in your head.

You couldn’t help but cringe when you looked in the mirror, your hair was an absolute mess, the top that adorned your neck was covered with alcohol stains, your make-up was smudged, and you only had one earring.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” You sighed, taking off the dirty clothes as you put on a comfy shirt, your room was as messy as you were, bag on the floor while its contents spilled out, and… a leather jacket?

Slowly but surely, last night’s events came to you in a blur. The last thing you remembered was the fight you had with Steve.

Both of you spewed some hurtful things at one another, and that’s the clearest you could remember it.

You examined the leather jacket sprawled over the floor, and your brows knitted together, Steve didn’t even have a jacket on last night; you remembered because Robin made fun of him for not bringing a jacket in February when Steve whined about being cold.

You read the tagline; E.M.

Oh god.

Was it… Eddie? Did he drop you off when you were embarrassingly drunk?

Was Eddie the one who took care of you the whole night while Steve threw you away like a piece of paper?

You remembered the hurtful things he said to you; your mind was too jumbled up to even recall the nice things he said to you afterward.

You knew you have to talk to him, mend your friendship, but all you could think about now was Eddie, how he took care of you, and how he was there for you.

That day you called him, and he told you in detail how wasted you were and how he had to carry you home. You made up with Steve afterward too, both of you muttering apologies to each other as you promised not to let stupid things get out of hand.

And that day, Eddie took you on your first date with him.

NOW

“Buckley, you mind ringing these up for me?” You beamed, throwing her an innocent smile, your eyes wandering off to Steve’s absence next to her.

You gave her the ‘Evil Dead II’ and ‘Dirty Dancing’ VHS tapes nonchalantly, waiting to ask her about Steve.

Robin’s eyebrows shot up, “What kind of a double-feature is this supposed to be, huh?”

“A very fun one,” You said with a slight smirk, handing her a couple of bills.

You scanned the store, he was nowhere to be seen, of fucking course. “Harrington running from me again?” You almost cursed yourself for saying that out loud, but you couldn’t help it, something snarky would’ve slipped out eventually.

You saw Robin almost freeze, her mouth hanging open as her brain short-circuited to find a quick answer.

“I—It’s fine,” You mumbled. “Just tell him I would really like to talk to him. Once his weird tantrum is over?” You commented; it was snarky again, but he deserved it.

Five days had passed since the party, and Steve had been avoiding you like the plague, not returning your phone calls, and sneaking out the back each time you visited Family Video, and it was driving you crazy.

Determined to talk to him, you spent the last few days re-evaluating everything. You wanted to ask him what the fuck he meant—was everything that led to you dating Eddie a lie?

And did Steve never think to tell you this, even once the two of you broke up? His audacity was pissing you off, more than ever now that he was avoiding you.

Then small things started coming back to you in a flash, like the drunken confession you made to him last week.

But you were still clueless about The Hideout. You racked your brain away, but you couldn’t remember it for the life of you. Even the fight with Steve was so vaguely burned into the back of your brain, you simply didn’t want to remember it, or the hurtful words he uttered to you that night.

You had decided to forgive and forget, had no intention of going back to that head space, until recently, when Steve decided to blurt out that he was the one in Hideout, leaving without explaining anything further.

You tried to fish it out of Robin, but she acted clueless, and you tried everything you could do to reach out to Steve, but it was useless.

So that only left you with one thing.

Eddie.

Eddie had told you the day after The Hideout incident that it was he who took you home, detailing everything that happened that night.

You were basically breathless by the time you made it to Eddie’s trailer, knocking on the door, until it hit you.

What the fuck were you doing? Knocking on Eddie’s door when he had no fucking clue what was happening, when he had no idea you and Steve had kissed.

When he had no idea that you knew.

You shook your head in embarrassment as you turned around, about to leave, coincidentally and to your dumb luck, that’s when Eddie had decided to open the door.

He stood speechless when he saw you, his eyes almost bulging out of his head. “Y/N?” He asked, tone barely audible.

“Hi.” You muttered, accepting Eddie’s invitation as he stood aside for you to enter, and you squeezed by him with a quick ‘thank you’

“Look, I know you’re wondering why the fuck your ex showed up at your door but—”

“Oh, don’t worry.” He interrupted

“I do have an idea,” He smirked slightly, causing you to throw him a confused look, you were about to open your mouth, ask a million questions, but he didn’t let you.

“I know everything,” He muttered, and you couldn’t decide his facial expressions. “Steve told me about all of it.”

“And I already told him there was no bad blood between me and you and that it was fine that you guys kissed—”

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

“What?!?” You exclaimed, not expecting Steve to babble about it to Eddie when he had been avoiding you.

“Look, honey, Steve was all blabbering and shit when he came to see me, tellin’ me all this shit about how much he liked you and how sorry he was,” Eddie said with a concerned look.

“And I told him it was all fine, Christ—when did we even date, like 2 years ago?” You didn’t answer him and he sighed.

“I always knew the two of you had something for each other, I mean, why’d you think I got so jealous anytime you guys hung out together alone? He was definitely—“” He rambled for what felt like minutes, and you were quick to interrupt it, eyes blinking rapidly as you tried to process what the fuck was going on.

“Stop!” You exclaimed, “That’s… uhm– good to know, but not what I came in here for,” You muttered, eyes wandering to the ground.

He threw you a quizzed look, brows knitted up together, “I–I wanted to ask you about something,” You gulped.

“Well, spill it out, sweetheart, you’re makin’ me all nervous and shit.” He gave you a dry chuckle.

“What–what exactly happened that day?” You knew he was going to ask what the fuck you were talking about, so you cut him off before he got a chance to speak.

“At The Hideout… Two years ago.” You could see Eddie almost panic visibly, he didn’t expect it, and did it really matter now, after everything?

“Shit… why won’t you ask Steve about all this?” He scratched his head, it was all awkward, you coming here, asking him something that was two years ago, Steve telling Eddie about the kiss while refusing to acknowledge you…

It was embarrassing, really, and with each passing minute, a rage fueled inside of you. Sick of the hiding, and the lies. You just wanted the truth, and for Steve to not run at the first inconvenience.

“I would, if he didn’t avoid me like a fucking child,” You spat under your breath, causing Eddie to chuckle. He shook his head again.

“Right, so… I’m assuming since it was two years ago, you won’t be mad at me, right?” He asked, an innocent look spreading over his face, almost fearing as he saw how angry you were at Steve.

You almost rolled your eyes, these two idiots were making your blood boil. “Just want the truth, Munson, then I’ll be gone, I promise.”

“Right!” He chuckled nervously before telling you everything that happened that night.

You called Eddie right after you found his jacket, blabbering like an idiot as you thanked him a million times. While Eddie had no fuckin’ clue what had happened, he was still trying to get over his own hangover, but he wasn’t going to completely shut you down, not when he wanted you this badly, not when you were in the grasp of his hands.

As soon as you hung up, promising him a date, he called Steve, and he didn’t even have to beg him to play along; Steve was just... okay with it.

Steve knew the moment Eddie told him about his little crush that the two of you had no chance and that Steve would only be a little thought in the back of your mind, while Eddie would be the first choice, because why wouldn’t he?

Why would you choose him over Eddie?

And with all the sudden information flooding your mind, you weren’t sure how to react, how to vent all these emotions running through your veins, so you did it the only way you knew how; anger.

You checked the clock; 10.08

Steve’s shift should’ve ended long ago by now, you barely mumbled a goodbye to Eddie when you left, mind focused on one thing.

Steve.

You arrived at his door with your lips tightening and your jaw clenching, you weren’t going to give up now; you were going to talk to him. Now or never.

You knocked on the door so hard that you were sure your knuckles were bruising, and Steve was baffled when he opened the door, mouth almost agape as he looked at the sight in front of him.

“You know what you are? A fucking coward,” You mumbled, not giving him a second to process anything as you shook your head.

“You are a selfish fucking coward! Do you think you can make decisions for other people? You think you can just take their choices away and pretend like everything is fucking fine!” Steve didn’t utter a word when you let it all out, your words meshing with each other, and you could feel your blood boiling each time you spoke, but it was… weirdly relieving.

All that pent up anger was finally coming out.

“And you told Eddie?!? You fucking talked to him but didn’t have the guts to even face me! Five days, five fucking days, I followed you around, you fucking jerk!” You spat, your eyes flashed with anger as your face came closer to him, he didn’t even flinch, eyeing you curiously, those deep honey glazed eyes were warming the more he looked at you.

And Oh God, was his gaze inviting, so warm, but you couldn’t soften up… not when you still had so much to say.

“Do you know how embarrassing it is for me? No—no… Fuck that! I don’t even give a fuck if it's embarrassing, I’ve been–I’ve been living a lie and you–it’s your fault…” You mumbled the last part, chest heaving, when your fiery gaze met his, he was itching to talk, and you could tell.

“That—that’s a bit dramatic don’t you think?” He muttered, causing your eyes to narrow, “Look why don’t we just go inside and have an adult conversation? No need for these tantrums—” And that hit a nerve.

“Don’t,” You muttered, closing your eyes, the rage bubbling up to the surface again, gnawing at your skin, waiting to welcome you.

“Don’t you fucking dare to tell me to have an ‘adult conversation’ when you’ve been avoiding me like the plague!” You exclaimed angrily, face heating with anger, Steve nodded, understandingly. He didn’t mean to sound like a jerk, he just wanted to talk to you. He had been debating what to do these last five days, and shutting you out during that was obviously stupid, but that’s how he handled everything, wallowing it all until he chewed his emotions, keeping them hidden.

“What was I supposed to do?” He asked, almost defeated, and it made you want to chuckle, he was sending you over the edge.

“Are you kidding me?” It wasn’t a question; it was stupid for Steve to even attempt to open his mouth.

“You could have talked to me!” You took a deep breath; your anger wasn’t going to help, and if you didn’t talk to Steve as soon as possible, your head might have exploded.

You sighed as Steve stood aside, leading you to the living room, and your anger subsided with each step you took. The familiarity of the house was engulfing you, and you wanted to scream.

What if Steve had told you this would change nothing?

What if this was it for the two of you?

Your head was swirling, and it hurt, both physically and emotionally. It was taking a toll on you and Steve could sense it.

“What—what really happened… that day?” You asked, voice barely audible as you avoided his gaze.

Steve sighed as he took a seat next to you on the couch, hand itching to lay on your thigh, squeeze it to make you feel comfortable, just so you would look at him, but he resisted it, hand flexing as he placed it between the two of you.

“You–you remember our fight?” He mumbled, causing you to nod. “We both said some stupid shit to each other—”

“Well, you started it—” You gazed up at him, and this time he threw you a look, causing you to close your mouth as if to signal him to continue.

“And—and you left… and the second you did, I just felt this horrible fucking pit in my stomach, I could never—I could never leave you like that,” His voice was shaking, hands flexing again as he inched closer to you.

“I found you on the street, Y/N, almost passed out, and I lost my goddamn mind for leaving you alone—even for a second, I ca—I can’t fucking imagine what I would even do if anything happened to one–one fucking strand of your hair—just the thought makes me sick to my stomach—Jesus.” He muttered, face still toward you as you could trace it now, the worried lines etched onto his forehead, a frown taking upon his usual plump lips, voice cracking as you could sense it, the utter worry and desperation in his voice.

You couldn’t open your mouth, words failing you as you opted out to hold his hand instead, a small gesture, but one that made Steve’s entire stiffness disappear. One touch from you warming him up immediately.

“I took you home as fast as I could—I tucked you in, made sure you didn’t get sick, and then I left.”

“Why?” You asked, meekly.

“Why did you let me believe it was him? Why did you ignore me that night?”

“It–it doesn’t matter now,” He mumbled, and your brows furrowed again, fury still locked up inside of you.

“It fucking does!” You snarled, insides burning with anticipation and anger.

“Stop being a fucking coward,” You yelled, you didn’t want to scream at his face, but he left you with no choice. If you wanted to talk to him, you had to get some things out of him, no matter how much it angered you.

“Just tell me, Steve, full transparency, I want it all out.”

Steve’s silence caused a groan out of you, “If you don’t, I’m gonna leave… for good,” You whispered.

You were bluffing; you weren’t going to go anywhere without getting some closure, but Steve didn’t know that, and he had never seen you this riled up, so he sighed when you got up.

“I didn’t want to lose you!” He got up after you, staring at your back for a full minute until you turned around to meet him, a quizzed look overtaking your features.

“What?”

“God! I wanted to—Shit. I wanted to tell you about how I felt, but then Eddie came and he told me all about how he had feelings for you, and, uh, I just panicked— so fucking hard. I knew you would have chosen him, and I had that rejection one too many fuckin’ times, and I—I knew I couldn’t handle it from you!” He exclaimed, breath ragged as his brown orbs looked at you with such sympathy that you wanted to drop everything and kiss him, tell him that he would always be your first choice.

“I knew you would choose him and—”

“I didn’t want to be a second choice again, Y/N, I was so fucking scared—” You shook your head.

“Steve you—god, you have no fucking clue about anything,” You chuckled dryly, interrupting him.

“When you ignored me for Tammy that night, when you told me that I wasn’t ‘worth it’ that’s when I decided to contain my feelings for you, I knew you didn’t like me for anything more than friends—I always thought we had a ‘will they won’t they’ kind of relationship but that night, confirmed it for me,” You looked away, almost ashamed, face burning up.

“I felt so fucking desperate—like you wanted to push me away like I was an idiot girl who was clinging onto you, and now everything is just so confusing that I don’t even know what is going on.” Your hands ran through your hair.

“But you were and will always be my first choice,” You didn’t mean to smile, but it just appeared, anger washing away. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” You muttered, and Steve’s entire demeanor changed, his body relaxing as he realized how much of an idiot he had been.

“What?” He asked, baffled, a small smile overtaking his lips before you could say another word.

“Yeah,” You murmured, taking a step closer to him,

“So… we’re both idiots, huh?” He asked, basking in the way you looked up at him, batting your eyelashes as your warm aura engulfed him.

“Hmmm… I’d say it’s more you than me,” You mumbled, scrunching your nose, as Steve huffed playfully, inching closer and closer to you. You didn’t know where this took the two of you, but your mind was so busy when he was standing this close to you.

One strand of his hair fell onto his forehead, and all you wanted to do was run your fingers through them, kiss every inch of his face, run your lips along his soft ones, feel his calloused hands on your curves, grabbing desperately, meek grunts leaving his lips, both of you breathless.

And that’s exactly what you did—without a care, you closed the distance between the two of you with an annoyed huff, fingers running through his shiny hair.

His hands were quick to land on your hips, grabbing them like he was afraid of you slipping away, once again. And it all felt so easy and familiar that you could feel your head spinning.

His lips brushed against yours softly. You didn’t want this moment to be over, wanting to cling to him forever. Everything he did made you feel foolish and insane, and you understood why being in love felt like losing your mind, again.

Steve groaned into your lips, kissing you harder, once, twice, his lips never fully letting go of you, and you didn’t know if it would ever be enough for you, utterly craving nothing but him.

Your mind was jelly at this point, everything was tangled together while the question of ‘What’s going to happen now?’ lingered in your mind. Did he still want you? Did he still want to be together? Why didn’t he just come to you after talking to Eddie?

You tried to shake them off, tried to focus on the way Steve’s hands stuck to your body, like they belonged there, and the way his lips moved along yours, like it had always been this way.

You wanted to continue, wanted so badly to not let this moment go, but the bickering voices in your head were too much, and you pulled away slowly. Steve almost groaned when he felt the absence of your lips. He blinked once, twice.

“Oh, fuck. Do that again.” He unintentionally let out, gaze filled with lust as his pupils were blown wide, and a small giggle left your lips. “You are an idiot,” You whispered, your gaze settling on him.

Was everything going to be okay?

How were you even going to manage to make this work?

And with that, your expression soured, “Steve,” You said seriously, causing him to look up at you with concern all over his face. “I don’t want to get hurt again.” You murmured, forehead touching his.

“I won’t hurt you, ever.” His gaze was intense, and it made you feel giddy, worries washing away in seconds. You don’t know how he fucking did it, but it worked.

And you trusted him like no one else.

You couldn’t help it when your lips twitched into a smile. “You promise?” You gushed.

“With all my heart, honey.” He whispered, taking a deep breath.

“You have no fuckin’ idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, dreaming about this...”

“I would never, ever do anything to hurt you.” He muttered, his hands tucking the strand of hair that was blocking him from placing messy kisses all over your face.

“I couldn’t handle losing you, not again,” He murmured before leaning in to press more kisses all over your soft lips.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

bonus scene: just for shits n giggles idk

“What movies did you get today?” He asked with a childish grin on his lips.

“If you weren’t avoiding me, you would’ve known, pretty boy.” You exclaimed dramatically, crossing your arms against your chest.

Pretty boy.

The only thing that stuck in Steve’s brain was that he was your pretty boy.

And this giddy feeling inside of him was never going to go away, he decided.

He huffed playfully before he grabbed your bag, causing you to gasp. “Let’s see…” He murmured as he tried to find the VHS tapes.

“Aha!” He exclaimed as he grabbed the two of them, turning the cover to see what movies you rented.

“Oh my god,” He murmured. “A double-feature? For us?” He couldn’t help the way his lips twitched into a smile, so warm that you wanted to bathe in the glory of making him this happy.

“Mhmm… First, Evil Dead II for me, and once Stevie gets scared, we’ll put on Dirty Dancing.” You give him a wink.

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” He groaned. “You are so fucking perfect, I’m gonna lose my mind.” He placed a kiss on your forehead.

another a/n: so this is a bit messy bc i had too many ideas and this is the best i could do to fit them all in, i hope this doesn't feel that disconnected from the first!! work has been kicking my ass lately so my mind is all mushed lmao!! feel free to leave ur feedback and pls comment, like or reblog to support me ily <33

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x y/n #steddie x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #stranger things imagines #stranger things fic #steve harrington #ex!eddie munson

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rockrosethistle · 8 months

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A list of Nightmare Time episode ideas that I thought of and I think would be cool:

1.) Mr. Chasity has been trying to sell the old Waylon Place for far too long. After trying and failing over and over, he decides to take matters into his own hands by going in himself to see what all the fuss is about. But nothing could have prepared him to meet the real ghosts of Waylon Hall. And boy oh boy do they have shenanigans in store. (The episode would be called 'Unholy Ghost') .

2.) It's been a few months since Hatchetfield was destroyed in that awful 'accident'. Emma and Paul have been living under the aliases Kelly and Ben Bridges. (there can be a joke where Emma doesn't even pretend to care about her alias and Paul cares too much.) They live in Colorado now. Emma's finally started her pot farm, and Paul is working in marketing. For the most part, they have a good life. Only Paul's acting a bit different lately. Emma caught him humming company jingles, tapping his foot to a beat she can't hear. Maybe those spores he inhaled had some effect on him. It's probably nothing, but he's never sung in the shower before...(I don't have a name for this one yet.) .

3.) Max Jägerman is failing remedial algebra. In fact, he's doing so poorly that his dad shells out and hires him a tutor, PJ. (Bryce's nerd from 'Literal Monster.) He reluctantly lets her help him. At first it seems to work and his grades are rising steadily, but as PJ lets her guard down, Max starts to notice some things. Strange symbols scribbled in the margins of her notebook, almost like...jagged smiles? Weird stains on her hands, when she gets too close she smells like roadkill. And there's this white spider that keeps showing up in his room. Sometimes he feels like it's trying to tell him something. Or warn him. Without knowing what he's gotten himself into, Max has to evade getting his soul swallowed by a hungry god of darkness. (The episode is called 'Dirty Dude Soup') .

4.) Charlotte Sweetly is jealous. Her church friend, Carol Davidson, has exactly the kind of life she wants. Charlotte's seen the way her boss talks about his wife, and would give anything for Sam to feel that way about her. One day, Charlotte finally gathers her courage and asks her how she does it. Carol takes pity on her, and decides to reveal an important secret: it's all the product of a ritual, an ancient spell she stumbled upon on a trip to an amusement park. She claims that ever since she did it, her husband can't get enough of her. "I am all he sees. He calls me the apple of his eye." Charlotte doesn't believe her at first, but Carol gave her the instructions, and why the hell not? She tries it. Unfortunately, Charlotte messes up the wording. The spell still works, but not quite as intended. And an all-seeing police officer could be a good thing, but Sam is not a good police officer. (maybe let's call this one 'Omnipocop'. But that's awful to spell so suggestions are welcome) .

5.) While trying to be an assistant, Steph accidentally botches one of Pete's science projects. He forgives her, but she still feels bad even as he assures her it's no big deal, throwing the mix of chemicals out his window just to prove it. What he doesn't know is that the last family that lived in the Spankoffski house buried their dog in the backyard, and Pete's chemical slurry just brought it back to life. On a probably unrelated note, Paul has been trying to ignore the damage he's finding in his apartment. He's been chalking most of the tipped over garbage cans and torn apart cushion up to rats--giant rats?--or maybe a squirrel. But when a decades-old "missing dog" poster shows up on his doorstep, he can't ignore the truth for any longer. (the episode would be called "Patches' Revenge" and I thing it would work because it's just the right amount of weird. It would end with Paul teaming up with the nerds to defeat undead Patches with science.) .

6.) To his utter delight, Miss Holloway finally agreed to go out with Duke on a proper date. Nothing huge, just some ice cream and a walk on the beach. They're both enjoying themselves when Miss Holloway hears something. Duke can't hear it, but he still follows her down the shore to some kind of cave grotto, where she claims the noise is coming from. She tosses a pebble into the water, testing how it might react. A few moments later, the pebble come flying out again. Duke is stunned, but Miss Holloway tosses her ice cream cone. Sure enough, a few moments later is comes flying back, perfectly dry. They've clearly discovered something, and over the next few days, Duke and Miss Holloway experiment and try to learn about the grotto and the water in it. It's too deep to see the bottom, so their tests mostly involve tossing different things to see how they'll react. Little do they know, there was a reason Miss Holloway could hear a noise coming from the cave. There's a reason it drew her in, too. There's something singing to her, something that lives at the bottom of the grotto. And with each thing they feed it, it becomes a little bit stronger...(and then it's called something unassuming like "Wavecrest Cave")

So that's Nightmare Time season four all lined up. Please tell me if you have a good name idea for episodes 2 and 4. Also if anyone wants to use these as writing prompts, be my guest (just tag me so I can read them)

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lilgarbitch · 6 days

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Running in Circles- Seven

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

CW: angst, drinking, Y/N being a cute little dumbass

Word Count: 9.5k

Author’s Note: as quoted from a recent post: i fear my desire to make men miserable is playing a large role in my work and i do apologize for that. Also…I promise Will and Y/N are just friends…👀

(Author’s Note Pt. 2: Taking a break from posting for a minute so I can revise the old chapters as I’ve been getting some input that some things aren’t that great🖤 Will update soon)

Part Six

Noah

“YOU WHAT?” Ruffilo shouted from across the room at me as he stood up in disbelief. I sat on the couch with my head in my hands, pulling at my roots.

“I don’t know why I did it.. I just. I had to do something to make myself feel better about the situation,” I said, shaking my head, my voice strained with stress.

“When I said to find your own way to get back at her, I didn’t fucking mean that, you dumbass!” He was now pacing, like he was the one who fucked up. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to him about this.

“I know. I just..,” I let out a deep sigh, falling back on the couch, “Maybe I did it to hurt her, or maybe I did it to hurt myself. I don’t know. I just couldn’t take this shit anymore.”

“Dude! You spent YEARS talking about this girl. You’ve written fucking songs about her. You get into one fight, and do this?” He finally stopped and stared at me, waiting for me to come up with a better explanation, but I couldn’t. Because I didn’t have one.

Footsteps creep into the living room, so I look up and see Jolly looking at us, confused.

“What’s all the yelling about?” he asked, looking between the two of us. I just anxiously chewed on my lip, so Ruffilo answered for me.

“This jackass decided to hook up with someone at his fucking birthday party.” He put a hand on his hip like a disappointed parent, waiting for Jolly to give any reaction. I turn to Jolly and he’s giving me a look, a mix of shock, confusion, and disappointment. I let out a groan, getting up and walking to my room. I don’t need this. I had hoped Ruffilo could give me any advice for this absolute fuck-up I made, but I should’ve known I would just get scolded.

I fall onto my bed and shove my face into my pillow, letting out a groan. I don’t fucking know why I did it. I was pissed off at how close she’s gotten with Matt. And when random friend of one of the guys was chatting with me and I looked over and saw that fucking Ghost Face grinding against Davis, I just lost it. I don’t know why sleeping with a random girl was my decision, especially when it won’t even affect Y/N if she never finds out, it was just the only thing my irrational brain could think of. Maybe I did it hoping it would help me get over her, but it just made me feel so much worse. I know we’ve been ignoring each other, but she’s acting like she doesn’t even fucking care about me anymore. So, I thought that maybe I shouldn’t care either, but obviously, everyone thought that was the stupidest thing I could do.

I hear the rest of the guys get back from the store, hearing cheers as they probably showed everyone the food and alcohol they got, and all I could do was groan. This break was supposed to be fun. The party was supposed to be fun. I was hoping to take Y/N on a date or two, showing her my favorite places in the city. But no. She showed up for the party, ignored me the whole time, and was nowhere to be found when I came back..after making that terrible decision. Fuck. Why the fuck did it have to work out this way? Why’d I yell at her at the bar? If we could just sit down and talk, maybe we could at least be friends. I can’t stand finally having her in my life yet she just fucking ignores me. Fuck, I need a fucking distraction.

I stood up from my bed and headed downstairs, trying my best to sneak by so no one would notice me. I reach the kitchen and grab a random bottle we had on top of the fridge, before sneaking back to my room. Locking the door behind me, I go to sit on my bed and grab my phone, connecting it to my speakers before opening Spotify and clicking a random playlist.

Turning the volume up full blast, I twist off the cap of what I now see is a bottle of fucking vodka. Grimacing, I lift it to my lips and take a large swig before setting it down on my nightstand, making a disgusted face at the taste and burn.

My thoughts were brought back to the first night of tour, drinking with the group and watching her from across the bus. She took a shot of vodka and made the same face before catching me watching her and giving me the most beautiful smile.

A growl erupts in my throat. I need to get her out of my fucking head. How am I even going to look at her when tour starts again if I can’t even handle thinking of her?

I grab the bottle again and take an even larger drink, leaning against the wall behind my bed as I felt the liquid fire fill my gut. Distraction. I need another fucking distraction. Because this isn’t hitting me fast enough and the music isn’t overpowering my thoughts.

I open my phone and pull up Instagram, hoping to find absolutely fucking anything that pulls me from these thoughts. I scroll and scroll, every meme trying to be funny, and every picture of someone looking happy just pissing me off.

I keep scrolling before my eyes land on tattoos. Her’s. I pause and see that State of the Scene had posted a photo of her in a sound booth. My eyes trail down to the caption. “Lorna Shore’s Will Ramos posts Praising Deities’ Y/N Y/L/N, calling her the ‘next deathcore vocalist’ and that he ‘can’t wait for y’all to hear what she can do.’ Let’s hope she releases something new soon, as fans have been enjoying her covers of ‘To the Hellfire’ and ‘Sun//Eater,’ sung on her current tour with the band Bad Omens.”

All it took was one comment. A single fucking comment to push me over the edge.

“Are those hickeys on her neck?”

Before I could even think, a yell came spewing out as I threw my phone across the room, creating a loud band and a small crack as it shattered against the wall.

Tears came pouring down my face, now being unable to hold back every emotion that I’ve felt the past few weeks. I took one last swig of the vodka before setting it on my nightstand and lying down, pulling my covers over me. ‘Love Me to Death’ by Suicide Silence blasted through my speakers, proving that my phone wasn’t completely destroyed, but now I couldn’t fucking change it.

She has every fucking right to move on. I fucking did, too. But to get that confirmation that after barely a month of finally having her in my life, she’s fucking gone. I just couldn’t take it anymore. My chest ached and burned. All I wanted to do was scream until the pain was gone. I wanted her. I needed her. How did my life turn into such a fucking train-wreck so fast?

Suddenly, someone knocks on my door. They try to say something, but between my sobs and the music, I don’t know what.

“FUCK OFF,” was all I said before shoving my head under my pillow, ignoring the rest of the world as I prayed for the alcohol to hit more and clear my mind.

Y/N

The other guys left after listening to my isolated screams, commenting on a few, and giving me a few ‘good lucks’ before going about their day. I made sure to thank Dave for letting me use his studio, and he said that it was here for me anytime. I doubt I’ll ever take him up on that offer, as I was still extremely intimidated by him, but I really appreciated it.

Will and I were now just messing around in the studio. We already spent a good hour or so working on how I could get certain screams and growls to sound better and how I could enunciate words differently if that’s what I enjoyed. Now, we were just playing music and singing along as we occasionally went back and forth in the sound booth, wanting to see if we could hit notes right. Every recording we took was just full of giggles, so thankfully we were already planning to delete them right after listening.

He even taught me a few controls, mainly how to set songs up for him, make them only play for the person in the booth, and which button let me talk to him. We learned more about each other’s music tastes and where it came from, even who we took inspiration from for our own music. I learned more about his love for Sleep Token, which went a lot deeper than I thought. He went on a few rambles just talking about his appreciation for how they write the music and even played songs, pointing out specific things Vessel did in his vocals.

He kept playing ‘Chokehold’ over and over, to the point that I practically learned the whole song. After about the tenth full run-through, not counting the amount of times he went back and repeatedly played specific parts because he just couldn’t get over the sound, I stood up and walked to the sound booth.

I was getting more used to being in here now and definitely more used to singing in front of Will. We’d been in this studio for hours at this point, just singing to each other, so all my nerves were gone.

He watched me as I walked and immediately sat up and leaned over the controls, a little confused.

“Play it again, I wanna try,” I told him through the mic as I put the headphones on.

“Chokehold? You wanna sing Chokehold? You literally just fucking heard it,” He said, laughing.

“I heard it like 30 times and you even gave me a rundown of every single quirk in his vocals, now run it,” I teased. He playfully lifted his hands in defense before getting everything set up.

The intro started playing so I held the headphones close to my ears and counted the beats in my head, not wanting to miss the cues.

When we were made

I did my best to make it airy and hold the same enunciation as Vessel did.

It was no accident

It was honestly so entertaining to practice Sleep Token songs. Vessel put so much character into every single note and to reenact it was so fun. Especially switching between chest voice and head voice or adding the little ‘t’ at the end of a line.

We were tangled up like branches in a flood

Over-exaggerating certain parts was new to me unless I was singing along to a more pop punk song, where everyone had a specific accent they used.

I come as a blade

I did my best to flow into a high note, and I did surprisingly well, so I turned to Will with a proud look on my face before continuing.

A sacred guardian

Will was watching me in awe, and I so badly wanted to laugh at the face he made, but I had to keep my composure to continue.

So you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood

It looked like Will was slowly falling into deep thought, but I knew it was still recording, so I just ignored him and continued.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

I did my best to remember how Vessel did the audible breaths and tried to recreate them.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

You’ve got me in a-

I look back over to see if Will was doing his famous dance to this part like he had every other replay of this song, but instead, he stood up and paused the music, and started messing around with more controls.

“Will? Did I do something wrong?” I asked, and he just shook his head as he did whatever the hell he was trying to do.

Finally, he stopped touching buttons, and the music started again, and he was rushing into the sound booth with me. He hurriedly came over and grabbed the other set of headphones lying in here, putting them on and turning to me with a child-like smile.

“Roll with it,” He said, so I nodded and began to sing.

When we were made

Woah, he finally turned on the control so I could hear myself.

It was no accident

We were tangled up like branches in a flood

Then, Will joined in with me.

I come as a blade

I looked at him, shocked. We sounded so fucking good. He went lower as I took the high note at the end, nailing it once again.

A sacred guardian

So you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood

He looked at me and put a hand on my shoulder, and I took that as a signal for me to let him sing the following lines.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

He patted my shoulder, and I assumed that as him saying to join him.

You’ve got me in a-

He started headbanging to the music and I looked at him like we just did the craziest thing, because, to me, we fucking did. I had to hold back my giggles as he jammed out next to me. The next lines were about to come up, so he composed himself and put a hand on my shoulder, this now being our signal for him to sing.

Beneath the stormy seas

Above the mountain peaks

It’s all the same to me

It makes no difference

He patted my shoulder, so I joined in.

I’ve seen my days unfold

Done the impossible

I’d turn my walls to gold

To bring you home again

He stepped back from the mic, so it was just me singing the next few lines.

So show me that which I cannot see

Even if it hurts me

Even if I can’t sleep

Oh, and though we

Act out of our holy

Duty to be constantly awake

I did my best to hit the last notes, and then felt a tap on my shoulder.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

He started doing a fry scream and it sounded so good.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

He patted my shoulder once again, and I had to quickly think of the best route of action to make our vocals sound good together, but just landed on continuing to do clean, alto vocals.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

He switched back to his clean vocals for the ending.

Even if it hurts me

Even if I can’t sleep

Show me the way

We held out the last note together, him not trying to create harmony, just matching our vocals so they meshed together.

We looked at each other in shock as the song ended before rushing out of the sound booth and over to the control board. We listened back to our isolated vocals in disbelief. The fact that we just threw this together last second was unbelievable.

We listened to it a few times, talking about what could be fixed or edited, both of us individually running to the sound booth multiple times to sing our parts so we could edit them together. We even did some lines differently, seeing if more harmony or if me doing harsh vocals would sound better.

After recording probably too many pieces, he switched over all the vocals to his laptop, and we started working them together. Finally, we added the instrumental over top, spending a few minutes lining everything up perfectly, giving it one last listen, and then just staring at each other, shocked.

“We just fucking made that!” I said, pointing to his laptop. He nodded with a wide smile.

“Yes, the fuck we did,” he said, holding his hand up. I gave him a high-five, laughing at the insanity that was the piece of art we just made.

“What now? Show the boys?” I asked, hooking a finger over my shoulder at the door behind me.

“Dude, we have to fucking show everyone. Are you kidding me?”

“Now? You’re gonna post it now?” I asked, both shocked and amused.

“Y/N. We just spent over two hours editing this together. Plus, it’s just a cover. Yes, now.” He laughed out. I looked over at the clock and realized that we had indeed been doing this for a while.

“Okay, okay. Ahh, I’m scared. No. I’m excited,” I rushed out, kicking my feet. He just laughed at me before turning to his laptop. I watched as he downloaded the file before uploading it on his personal Spotify with my name featured on it. I just stared at the screen in shock. I just did a cover song. It was now up for everyone to see. And I did it with Will Ramos. Oh my fucking god.

I quickly pull my phone out, ignoring every notification, and open Spotify. I copy the link to the song and head over to Instagram. I screen-recorded the story Will made earlier, and cropped it as I made a post of the video, and added the link to the song played over the post.

“Chokehold- Sleep Token. A cover by Will Ramos and Y/N Y/L/N 🖤🤘🏻,” I wrote in the caption. I tagged Will and hit post.

I looked over at Will and grinned. He looked back at me, smiling twice as big. I was so full of excitement and energy, and I didn’t know what to do, so I just flung myself on him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Will, you’ve made these last two days more fun than I’ve had this past month. Thank you so much.” He held me closer, laughing with me.

“Anything for you, my little petal.” I giggled at my nickname again before pulling away.

“I’m serious, though. These last few weeks- Hell! These last few years had been fucking crazy for me, and I feel like by simply meeting you, shit’s finally starting to fall into place. I’m doing new things. More people are listening to me. I just learned controls, for fucks sake,” I laughed, making him chuckle down at me, “So thank you. I’m so unbelievably fucking happy to have finally met you.”

He looks at me with a warm smile, my words soaking in. I was still hugging him, so we were still super close, and I don’t know what came over me, but I pulled him down and brought his lips to mine.

He tensed for a moment but instantly kissed me back. I brought my hand up to the back of his head, sliding my fingers into his pink locs as I held him close. His hands slid up to my sides, pulling my body towards him more. The kiss was about to deepen, when I got pulled back to reality by my phone ringing. I immediately pulled away and looked at him, shocked, before fumbling to grab my phone. I answered it without even looking at who was calling.

“Hello?” I greeted, having to clear my throat as it cracked a bit out of shock.

“YOU RELEASED A SONG WITHOUT TELLING YOUR OWN BAND? YOUR OWN BROTHERS?” Tommy shouted into the phone, making me chuckle and pull my phone from my ear.

“Shit. Yeah, sorry about that. Will and I were messing around in the studio,” I had to clear my throat again after saying ‘messing around’ before continuing, “ and we were listening to Sleep Token and decided to try out doing a cover, and it came out surprisingly well.”

“When the fuck did you meet Will? I thought he was in New Jersey," he asked.

“Funny story, actually. Him and the band are staying here with a friend, and we ran into each other at the club,” I sheepishly replied. There was silence on the other side of the phone for a few moments, and I almost thought we lost connection before he finally replied.

“Oh, we’re having a long chat the next time I see you, missy. Which better be soon, might I add. I’ve seen you maybe once in the last four days,” he finally said, with a tone mixed with suspicion and deviousness.

“Yes, Sir. Now, did you only call to yell at me?” I teased.

“Well, I did want to tell you that you two sounded fucking fantastic and that maybe you could invite Will over to the boys’ house, but I can sense you’re having more fun there,” He teased back.

“Shut it. I appreciate the compliment and will pass it on, but I’m ignoring everything you said after that for multiple reasons.”

“Oh… shit, you’re right. That might be a bad idea…Anyway, have fun with your little date. Love you!” He said, making me roll my eyes.

“Love you, too.” And then I hung up. I chewed on my lip nervously before finally turning around to look at Will. He was staring at me with a humorous expression.

“I hope you know that I could hear that entire conversation,” He chuckled out, making me facepalm, “And tell him that I said thank you for the compliment. Now…what was that?”

I groaned and walked past him, sitting down and throwing my head down in my hands.

“Will. I’m so sorry,” was all I could get out. I hear his footsteps come towards me, and I looked up to see him crouching down in front of me.

“For what? I mean, we’ve done more than that, so don’t think I’m bothered.”

“No. I mean, I am sorry for kissing you. I said we were gonna leave it all behind and pretend like nothing happened, and I still want to. But I’m mainly sorry that I may be pulling you into a very awkward situation.” He gave me a confused look. I let out a deep sigh. Should I even explain or just leave him out of this?

“So… Something may or may not have happened with…someone …I’m touring with…and shit has been weird. Fuck. It’s a long ass story,” I finished with a groan. He chuckled softly and rested his hands on my knees before sitting down in front of me with his legs crossed.

“I have time, my petal. Tell me what’s bothering you.” I let out another deep sigh. I might as well tell someone else the bullshit that’s been happening since everyone else seems to know.

And so I did. I told him everything. From the festival to the song lyrics. The ‘talk.’ The night at the bar. The Halloween/ birthday party. The depression. Me getting back into smoking. How reckless I was being last night because I wasn’t in the right mind. Everything. And he sat there, staring at me and listening intently, occasionally giving my knees a squeeze if I got a little too emotional. He let me tell him everything. Once I finally finished, he stood up, pulling me up with him and giving me a big hug.

“Everything will work out, my little petal. You two will eventually make up because you have to, or else tour will be really weird. I’m perfectly fine being that rebound that kind of gets in the way because I know you didn’t do it to hurt anyone. And because I really enjoy spending time with you and being your friend,” He pulled away and looked me deep in my eyes, “And just your friend. We can leave everything in the past. We randomly ran into each other at a club, went home separately, and the next day, I gave you vocal lessons and we recorded a song together. That’s all that happened. Okay?”

Tears were now welling up in my eyes as I nodded before pulling him back into a hug.

“Thank you.” I managed to get out. He rubbed my back as he held me close.

“Anything for a friend.”

After a minute or two of just taking in the comfort and reassurance, I finally pulled away and sat back down, him following and sitting back in his chair. He turned back to his laptop, typing away at something for a few minutes as I sat in my thoughts.

“Will?” I asked after a few moments. He turned to me with a ‘hm?’

“What’s with the ‘my little petal’?” I finally asked. He chucked and sat back in his chair with a small shy grin.

“Uh..well, first off, you’re pretty like a flower. You’re soft, delicate, and, you know, are able to either attract or repel others with your looks…I guess? Plus, you can be a little sharp, but only if you have to…And I like flowers. I don’t know. It was something that came to mind last night and I guess it just stuck,” He answers, a little embarrassed, making me giggle.

“God, you’re such a sap. If I didn’t have a goddamn soul tie to someone, that would work on me,” I teased, making him laugh loudly.

“Good to know,” he teased back with a smirk, “But, on a different note, I do have an idea for you.”

I look at him suspiciously, waiting for him to continue. He returned to doing something on the laptop before moving him and the computer to the control board. I watched him curiously as he started messing with things again. He couldn’t possibly want to change anything about the cover we did. It was already posted.

After messing around with a few things, he turned to me.

“Two questions. One- How badly do you want to at least try and make things better between you two? Like, I know it’s still super rocky, and it’s gonna take time, but do you want to at least reach out?” He asked. I was confused, but still thought about it for a moment, weighing my decisions.

“Badly. I know we’re gonna have to start over completely. We’ve both done some weird shit in the past few weeks, but I need us to reach a point where we can at least look at and speak to each other again.” I finally answered. He nodded before continuing.

“Second question, are you okay with being recorded today?” I looked at him, extra confused, and saw that he was pointing towards a camera that has apparently been in the sound booth this whole time. What did this man have planned?

I pulled out my phone and opened the camera, looking over my appearance. My makeup was mostly intact after redoing it in the morning, even after tearing up a little, and I didn’t do anything with my hair today, but I ran my fingers through it so it was semi-presentable. Then my eyes landed on my neck, and I made a slight hiss at the marks.

“Let me borrow a hoodie, and I’ll be fine,” I answered, and he immediately started taking off the one he threw on earlier and handed it to me before getting up and walking to the sound booth to start messing with the camera in there.

“Will, what am I about to do? Why am I being recorded?” I asked, more confused than ever. He just shot me a smirk as he finished messing with the camera and came back out.

“Just get in there.” He said, pointing at the sound booth.

“You have to tell me what song I’m covering. Do I even know it?” I said as I threw on his hoodie and walked into the sound booth. I pulled the hood up so it was shielding my neck from the camera and then tried my best to pretend a camera wasn’t flashing, indicating that it was already recording me.

“Y/N, I promise you that if you don’t know this song, it’s not meant to be.” He spoke into my headphones. I continued staring at him, confused as ever. And then I watched as he hit a few buttons, setting the track back and hitting record, before finally hitting play. I got myself ready to sing whatever song I apparently should know.

And then ‘Just Pretend’ started playing.

Will and I were working on putting the video together. He made me do multiple takes, the first one showing that I was a little spooked at the song choice. We edited the audio, taking out as many voice cracks as possible since singing this song over and over again did eventually make me emotional.

Now he was, in his words, “working his magic,” and, “putting the best video over the audio.” And I just sat back and let him work, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodies as I listened to him type away at his laptop.

Would this even work? He kept choosing audio clips that captured more emotion, even if I was literally crying as I sang. I told him that it was going to sound weird, but he kept shutting me up, saying that he knew what he was doing. I was so drained from everything we did today, and good god, I’ve listened to myself sing so much today, I think I’m going to lose my mind. I leaned my head back against the chair and let out a deep sigh. Today has been a lot. Not in a bad way, just…a lot.

He swiveled his chair around and turned to me, making me look up at him. He held the computer out to me, so I took it, eying him.

“My work here is done,” he said with a proud smile. He was a little too excited about this, even after watching me cry for over an hour to a song. My eyes flickered between him and the laptop, debating if I even wanted to see this, but I still hit play.

The music started, and my voice rang through the laptop speakers. It was a little too full of emotion for my standards, but I’m going to trust Will on this. Then, I realized he had chosen one of the last recordings, where I had already cried, so my eyes were a little red.

I continued watching, seeing that he still kept some of the audio clips where my voice cracked, but just in the right spots, like the parts where I held out notes.

Weigh down on me, stay til morning

Way down, would you say I’m worthy

A tear fell down my eye in the video. I don’t cry in front of people. And he wants me to post this?

Weigh down on me, stay til morning

Way down, would you say I’m worthy

I had glanced into the camera at that point. I didn’t even know I did that, but you could see the emotion in my red, puffy eyes. My makeup was even starting to run a little.

I can wait for you at the bottom

I can stay away if you want me to

I can wait for years if I gotta

Heaven knows I ain’t gettin over you

My voice cracked at almost every high note, but it didn’t sound bad. It was just…emotional.

We’ll try again

When we’re not so different

We will make amends

Til then, I’ll just pretend

I had stepped away from the mic at that point, unable to finish from the exhaustion of having to repeatedly sing a song that held every emotion I felt, but Will layered vocals from another clip over the video, just sounding a little more distant. I looked over at Will with a look of disbelief as the video faded out.

“Well?” He asked, still holding a proud, smug grin on his face.

“Wh- How- Will!” I stuttered, in complete shock, “I-what do I even do with this?”

“Well, I’m glad you asked. I reached out to Mr. Nicholas Ruffilo, asking for permission to even do this. He said to send him the video as soon as it’s finished, and then we could figure out where to go from there,” he answered. I looked between him and the laptop again before handing the computer back to him.

“I don’t know how this is gonna work out, but since you did all the work, you get all the blame,” I said, leaning back in my chair with a sigh. I can either see this fucking things up more, or actually working out, but either way, fans are going to freak the fuck out if this gets posted online. God, am I really communicating with a man through music again?

Will types away at the computer, probably saving the file and sending it to Ruffilo, before looking at me.

“I’m starving. Wanna go get dinner?” He asked, as if nothing happened. I give him an exhausted yet humored side-eye before nodding and standing up with him.

Noah

I awoke to someone rummaging next to me. With a groan, I rolled over and looked to see Ruffilo screwing the lid back onto the bottle of vodka next to my bed, Nick turning my speakers off, and Jolly picking up my smashed phone and a picture that I guess had also fallen when I threw the phone.

“Get the fuck out of here,” I groaned, before bringing my arm over my eyes, the hangover instantly kicking in. I still felt tipsy, probably not having slept for a long time, but that didn’t change the fact that I hadn’t had a single sip of water today.

“Take this,” Ruffilo said. I peek out from under my arm and see him handing me a glass of water like he read my fucking mind, which I instantly took. I sat up and chugged the whole glass. It felt like I hadn’t had water in days. I set the cup beside me before dropping my head in my hands with a loud groan.

“Do we..?” I heard Jolly ask, not knowing what the hell he meant. I then heard someone, probably Ruffilo, crouch down beside my bed. I glance over and see him giving me a pitying look, making me roll my eyes.

“Whenever you’re ready, I have something to show you downstairs. I can make the other guys leave for a little if you don’t want to deal with company, but it’s something that you need to see,” he said in a hushed tone, like I was a dog he would scare away if he spoke too loud.

I let out a deep sigh and rubbed my eyes before swinging my feet over the bed. There’s nothing they could show me that would make me feel worse than I do now, so why the fuck not? They all backed up as I sat up from my bed, swaying a little as the alcohol hadn’t yet left my system. They all file out of my room, and I follow.

“Did you guys seriously pick my lock?” I grumbled out, remembering that I had locked the door before passing out. Nick glanced over at me, looking a little guilty, causing a huff of a laugh to escape my lips.

They led me to the living room, which was thankfully empty. Who knows where everyone else was. Jolly reached over and grabbed a laptop, sitting down on the couch and opening it. I plopped down next to him, sinking into the back of the couch, not really wanting to be here. After a few moments of him typing away at it, pulling something up, he sat the laptop on the table in front of me.

I glanced at the laptop and then at the rest of them, confused. What the fuck were they about to show me? Ruffilo motioned his head towards it, signaling to me that I had to press play, so I did.

Instantly, the beginning of ‘Just Pretend’ played through the speakers of the laptop, making me groan. What the fuck was this? But then, her face came up as the vocals started.

I just sat there, staring at her in shock as she sang. She had a hoodie pulled over her so only her face showed. I leaned in closer, noticing something. She was crying. Every time she opened her eyes, they were bloodshot, and her makeup had been running.

Her voice cracked with emotion every high note, like she had been holding back a sob. I never wanted to see her cry. Especially not like this…

The bridge hit, and my eyes widened as she looked at the camera. Her eyes were full of what I could only describe as despair. They were dull and glazed over, barely even processing where she was looking, just staring off as she let the emotion flow through her singing. Her voice was harsh, like she had either been using it a lot or smoking. But it was still beautiful.

She stepped away from the mic after the heart wrenching post-chorus, almost like her body was about to cave in on itself. But her voice still rang through. Her face scrunched up as she looked down, and you could almost see a sob shake her body. The sight of her at a breaking point as her beautiful voice still sang, just in the distance, was more heartbreaking than anything I’ve ever seen.

The video finally ended and I just stared at the black screen, catching my reflection in it and saw that I was crying as well. I don’t even know what to do now. Emotion poured through me and my head fell into my hands as broken sobs left my lips. What the fuck was that? What the fuck do I do now?

I made a terrible fucking mistake, and she had obviously went to Will to make her feel better, but then she makes this? What the fuck does any of this even mean? What the fuck do I do? I want to see her. To hold her. But that’s not my place. It never was. She learned that going to people like Matt or Tommy or Will was much less heartbreaking than coming to me. But I just need to talk to her. To start over.

Why did I start ignoring her? Why did I get so upset at the bar? She had every single right to feel that way, I just became attached too quickly and couldn’t let her leave. But she still did. She left, and she probably already moved on to Will. I mean, that was the same sound booth that I saw in that picture earlier, so she’s obviously been spending the break with him. She was barely here at the party. God, that fucking party. The first time I got a chance to be close to her in two weeks and I spent it ruining everything. I got jealous at her being a friendly person and went and fucking slept with someone. She had every single right to fucking move on. I mean, I tried to as well.

But what the fuck was this then? Why did she cover my fucking song, looking ever so heartbroken? Where the fuck did this even come from? Why were the guys showing me this? I finally look up at the three boys in front of me, all of them staring down at me in pity.

“What the fuck is this?” I finally managed to get out between sobs.

“All I was told was that she wanted to make this and that Will wanted me to show it to you. You’re gonna have to talk to her to figure out the rest.” Ruffilo responded, not helping me at all.

“I just don’t understand! I see a post of her hanging out with Will, covered in hickeys, and then she fucking does this?” I ask, still overwhelmed with everything. Ruffilo sighs.

“Noah. You do realize that you’re doing the exact same thing, right? You slept with someone and then proceeded to break down in guilt. She’s just the one to throw in the towel first. She’s trying to make up.” I groan between sobs and fall back into the couch, bringing an arm up to cover my face.

“What do I do, then? It’s not like I can text her. My phones broken and it’s just gonna be awkward.”

“Just think about it. Plan out your best choice of action and work from there. This is something that can only be fixed by the two of you,” he answered. Fuck.

“Also, I’ll head out tomorrow to get you a new phone. It’s too late to go now,” Jolly chimed. After thinking about it for another minute, I let out a deep sigh and sat back up.

“Okay. I’ll figure this out.” The boys watched me for a second, trying to get a good sense of if I was being serious, before coming over and patting me on the back before heading into the house, probably to hang out with the rest of the guys, leaving me in my thoughts.

Y/N

I anxiously chew on my lip as Will and I walk down the streets of L.A. Neither of us heard anything back from Ruffilo or any of the guys, yet. Will said that he didn’t want the night to end just yet, since I wasn’t in the best headspace, and he did his best to keep me from my thoughts as we went on our little adventure, which I really appreciated. But, to be honest, neither of us know where the hell we were going.

After we ate, he thought it’d be a good idea to just explore the city since neither of us really knew anything about it, but nothing caught our eye as we walked. It was nice to stretch our legs after sitting in a studio for a good eight hours, though.

We walked through the city, pointing out random things we saw, occasionally bumping into each other, either on purpose or because we weren’t paying attention, and just chatting about whatever came to our minds.

“What are your thoughts on adding a rhythm guitarist to Praising Deities?” I asked. He chucked, but gave it some thought.

“I mean, I have a feeling you’re gonna want to change up your style a little, now that you’re more comfortable with broadening your vocal range, but it is a lot of work splitting the guitar into two parts,” he answered.

“Yeah. We’ve changed things up a few times, but adding harsher vocals like yours would be a huge step. I do some already, but nothing more than a simple growl. So, if we really want to take that step, a lot of work is gonna have to go into this.”

“Do you have someone in mind? Or do you just want to add the more concentrated sound of a melodic guitar?” I thought about it for a minute.

“No, and I highly doubt Tommy would want to learn to switch to pure rhythm. Not that he’s bad at it, but he really enjoys what he plays now,” I look over at him with a smirk, “I mean, would you be mad if I stole Andrew? He might even like my vocals more than you.”

He let out a loud laugh and swung his arm over my shoulders and pulled me in to his side. I giggled and looked up at him as we paused on our walk. He looked down at me with a smirk.

“You wish,” was all he said before he let go and continued walking, picking up speed to make me catch up to him. But that’s when something caught our eye. A flash. Fuck.

We both pause and glance towards the direction it came from, seeing a man holding a camera in our direction.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” I mumbled. He let out a sigh.

“Let’s just head back to Dave’s. There’s nothing out here for us to do anyway.” And with that, we turned around and retraced our steps, making our way back.

“You’re back again? Don’t you have a band to be spending time with?” Austin teased with a fale scowl as we walked into the house.

“Of course I do. It’s your band!” I joked back. He laughed and rolled his eyes.

“What? Will didn’t tell you guys? You’re getting a second, better vocalist!” I continued, putting my hands on my hips to look confident. Will softly pushed me while laughing, making me stumble and giggle as I walked over to the couch and sat down with everyone.

Will walked past us into the kitchen, and I started chatting with everyone there. I’ve gotten surprisingly comfortable with them after they helped me with my vocals earlier, so I wasn’t as nervous to be around them anymore.

Will came back out and handed me a drink. I didn’t know what it was, so I gave him a slightly suspicious look as I took a sip. I made a face, not expecting it to be a vodka cranberry, but it was still really good. He chuckled at my face before sitting down next to me.

“Oh so first she steals clothes, and now she’s taking our drinks?” Micco joked. Ever since this morning, they’ve been messing with me all day, but I loved it. It was like I was back with my own boys again.

I looked at him confused, before remembering that I was still wearing Will’s hoodie, so I set down my drink and took it off, handing it back to him.

“No, you didn’t have to. I’m fine,” he said, trying to push it back to me.

“Well, I don’t really need it anymore, and I don’t wanna accidentally wear it home,” I persisted, trying to give it back. He grabbed it and sat it between us.

“I’ll keep it here if you need it,” He spoke softly as he leaned back and turned his attention towards the guys.

I just shook my head with a small laugh before grabbing my drink, taking a sip, and doing the same.

The guys and I all chatted for a few hours, the alcohol making Will and I a little more loose-lipped as the night went on, him even making us more drinks. They asked me questions about my band and how the tour was going. I may have been a little too honest, but it didn’t affect them. I even asked them for advice on the best course of action on drastically changing the sound of our music, now that I was getting more comfortable with the thought of it. They gave really good advice, but a lot of it was that I had to talk to my own bandmates about it, which made sense.

After we were a few drinks in, Will leaned his head on my shoulder as we all talked. He was still fully awake, the alcohol just making him want to get comfier, and if I learned anything the past two days, it was that Will was a cuddler. He loved physical touch, and the closer to you, the better, so I wasn’t shocked when he eventually sank into the couch, cuddling into my side as we all chatted. And I knew it was normal when the rest of the guys didn’t even blink an eye at it.

Though, after some time, he became dead weight against me, and when I looked over, I saw that he was out like a light. I did my best to keep the conversation going, but between the warmth of his body heat and the alcohol, I felt my eyes getting heavier.

The rest of the guys started to notice, so they eventually excused themselves to either head to bed or hang out somewhere else, saying they didn’t want to wake him.

With that, I leaned my head on Will’s and eventually slipped into a deep sleep.

I woke up to the feeling of someone looming over me, so with a scrunched face, I opened my eyes and saw Moke and Austin looking at Austin’s phone, giggling about something. I tried to raise an arm to rub my eyes, but realized they were stuck. Looking down, I saw that at some point in the night, Will and I had laid down, and now he was sprawled out on top of me, practically pinning me to the couch. He was still completely out, just pure dead weight on top of me.

A yawn escaped my lips, making the two goofballs aware that I was now awake, and they giggled down at me.

“What are you two idiots up to?” I softly asked, my voice coming out harsh and raspy, either from the alcohol or the fact that I don’t think I shut up for a single second yesterday.

Austin turned his phone around with a mischievous grin on his face, showing me that he had taken a picture of Will and me and posted it to his story, captioning it, “These two don’t know how to party.”

I finally managed to slide a hand out from between Will and I and reached for his phone, wanting a closer look. I couldn’t tell from my angle, but Will was completely intertwined with my body. Our legs looped around each other and I was using one of his arms as a pillow as his other arm draped across my chest. He was using one of my tits as a pillow, which made me giggle. We were both out cold, Will’s mouth slightly agape as if he was snoring. I gave the phone back to Austin after rolling my eyes.

“So, am I just stuck like this now?” I ask the two, making them chuckle.

“Yep. He can sleep for a whole day if he’s comfortable enough, so good luck!” Moke responded. I almost let out a groan, but didn’t because I would feel bad if I woke him.

“So I’m trapped under a dead body and you two are just taking pictures? What the fuck?” I teasingly whisper yelled. They both walked away with suppressed giggles, leaving me to wait for Will to wake up.

With my now free arm, I searched around me, trying to feel if there was anything for me to entertain myself with. My body was hanging ever so slightly off the edge of the couch, so I had a feeling my phone slipped out of my pocket at some point in the night. I couldn’t move my head, or any other of my body for that matter, but thankfully my hand finally touched the cold screen and I did my best to grab it with a contorted arm.

I turn it on after finally picking it up, and saw that it was already noon. The guys and I were up for a while last night, so I’m not too shocked that we slept this late, but it felt weird that I had spent more time with Will than anyone else this whole break. But at the same time, I didn’t care. I literally live with three of them and I’m going to be spending the next almost three months with the other five, and this will be the only time I’ll get to spend with Will for who knows how long.

Maybe I could see if my boys wanted to hang out with the Lorna Shore boys. I would invite everyone else, but with everything happening, I haven’t been too close with any of them lately. I’ll mention it to Will later.

I finally open my phone and click on the messages I saw that I had. There were a few from my boys, telling me that they missed me and they wished I was partying with them and everyone else. I wish I was too, but with the state that my life was in right now, I’d much rather spend my time with the person who was most unrelated to the tour and everyone in it. I couldn’t be more thankful to have run into Will. He was everything I needed at this time. Someone who brought excitement into my life, distracting me from everything else. Someone who, even though it was a terrible mistake, managed to heal a small part of me the other night. A healing intimate encounter, proving that not every man I got this close with in my 20s was going to hurt me in some way. Purely a quick rebound that we both agreed wouldn’t affect anything, followed by getting an insane amount of support in both my music and with the stress that this whole fiasco has caused. And a new friend. An amazing friend. He was so different from anyone else I had in my life at the moment that it just felt so good to be around him, especially because he came with a completely different friend circle, so I could have peace from everything while still being social.

I did my best to text them back, having to type with one hand that was hovering unsupported over my face and still deep in thought over how insane my life has been recently. But the movement from the heavy weight on my body almost made me drop my phone on my face.

Will shifted in his sleep, turning slightly and pulling himself closer to me. He dug his face between my shoulder and neck, probably shielding his eyes from the light that shone through the living room windows. I close my phone and set it on my chest, not wanting to drop it and scare him. He let out a tired groan as he stretched and pulled closer to me, and I couldn’t help but giggle at the tickle of his face and breath on my neck.

He paused for a second once he heard it, finally realizing the position he was in, before giggling with me.

“Good morning,” his groggy voice spoke into my neck, tickling me even more, making me squirm and try to pull away at the feeling.

“Good morning, dead weight.” I exaggeratedly huffed out. He lifted his face and looked at me with half lidded, tired eyes and a cheeky grin before trying to push himself off of me without hurting me.

I took an exaggerated deep breath as I sat up, teasing him. He shook his head with a smile and yawned.

“By the way, I think Austin might be worse than paparazzi,” I said as I stretched, needing to loosen my cramped muscles from not being able to move them all night.

He gave me a confused look, so I told him to check Austin’s story. He took a minute to search for his phone. Finally finding it between the couch cushions, he typed in Austin’s username and checked, immediately laughing.

“Everyone’s gonna think we’re dating,” he chuckled, rubbing his face.

“I’ve never cared about fan speculation since they’ll grasp onto anything these days, but this is probably gonna cause some issues for my situation if I don’t clear the air.”

“Yeah..” he dragged out, “I mean, it’s no problem for me. If anything, this will definitely help keep the fan’s eyes off of you and Noah until you get everything situated.”

I thought about it for a moment, and he was right. Fans love digging into our personal lives, so if there wasn’t a distraction, I know rumors and stories would spread over how they see Noah and I interact. Hell, there's fans who think I’m with all of them, even my bandmates, so if they just focused on my so-called ‘relationship’ with Will, I won’t have to worry about them constantly talking about Noah and me.

“Honestly, this may help a lot of issues. As long as I inform mine and his band what’s actually happening, this will save us from a lot of heat on the internet.” I said after a few moments, “Oh! Speaking of, are you busy today?”

He thought for a moment, trying to get his tired brain to run its gears.

“Not that I know of, but I can also ask the guys,” he finally answered, suppressing a yawn.

“Would you be down to meet my boys? I just feel bad that I’m gonna be spending more of our break with you and not with them.” He let out a sleepy giggle after thinking about it for a second.

“Or, you can always just hang out with them? Without me?” he teased. I felt a blush creepy up to my cheeks, but not before playing it off and faking a gasp.

“You don’t want to hang out with me anymore?” I pulled an exaggerated pout. His eyes immediately widened.

“Wait! No! That’s not what I meant!” He rushed out, making me laugh.

“I’m kidding! I just figured that I’d hang out with you until you kicked me out since I probably won’t see you for a while after this, and the boys would love to meet you and possibly the rest of the band if they’re down.” A frown creeped up on his face as I spoke.

“Wait..You’re right. I won’t see you after this,” he whined, “Yeah, I’ll ask the guys if they wanna join, but I’m not letting you leave until you’re getting on that damn tour bus.”

“Does that mean you’re joining me when I go back to the hotel to change?” I asked, laughing.

“Yes.” he stated, bluntly, making me laugh more.

“Okay, let me text the boys, and then we can head over,” I chuckled out. He nodded and stood to go talk to his bandmates as I grabbed my phone and texted Tommy.

Y/N- On a scale from 1 to 10, how excited would you and the boys be to hang out with Lorna Shore today?

Tominic- ASKING THEM NOW OMGOMGOMG

I shook my head and laughed at his text. Tommy wasn’t as big of a fan of them as I was, but when I played their music enough, you can’t not enjoy it a little. But then, I realized I may have to clarify something.

Y/N- I feel like this may be obvious, but this invitation is for you three only. I’m not in the mood for awkward conversations right now❤️

Tominic- 🫡 Yes, maam

Y/N- …maybe Matt can come, too

Tominic- He’s not at the house right now, so you should text him

Y/N- will do. I’ll let you know where we’re meeting up. Give me like 2 hours to head back to my hotel and change

Tominic- 👀 so you spent the night?

Y/N- IN A HOUSE FULL OF 5 OTHER GUYS SO SHUT IT

I laughed as I closed out of our chat and opened Matt’s. I sent him a text, but he didn’t immediately respond, so I just closed my phone and got all my things together and waited for Will so we could head back to my hotel.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fic #bad omens #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian reader insert

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msnanu · 7 months

Text

Libertine 10 | JJK

Libertines put value on physical pleasures, meaning those experienced through the senses.

❧ Series Masterlist ❧

⏤summary ❧ He has a reputation for being the most promiscuous man on campus, and you, well, you are basically him in women’s pants. It will be the very first time that Jungkook is faced with someone who is gonna make him question his feelings and actions.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ f*boy jungkook x f*girl female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, smut, angst, slow burn, teasing and lots of sexual tension.

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language, NSFW🔞

❧ banner by: @dojakoo ❧

A few minutes later after leaving you astonished at the entrance of your building, Jungkook went straight to Taehyung’s apartment. He didn’t know what else to do so he texted him on the way there with a single line.

“I need to talk to you.”

Jungkook being the idiot he is, instantly regretted the way he treated you. He went all the way to Taehyung's cursing himself and his jealousy. The normal process should be to apologize to people when you hurt them but no, oh no, Jungkook’s brain never seemed to work at the same pace that everyone’s else did.

Even if he wanted to apologize, he didn’t know where to start. So here he was, sitting on Taehyung’s couch. His friend was on the opposite side of the room, arms crossed while giving him a questionable look as he finished telling the story about what had happened just a few minutes ago with you.

“So, let me get this straight, you’re saying that you were hooking up with someone else.” Started Taehyung trying to find some logic in Jungkook’s previous actions.

“No.” The youngest cringed “We didn’t get to the hooking up part.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes and corrected himself. “Okay, okay. You were about to hook up with some random girl, sounds better?”

“I guess.”

“Okay, so Y/N, out of nowhere, called you to hang out sounding weird, at least according to you. Which by the way, let me point this out, she never did that before.” Said Taehyung as Jungkook just nodded his head in silence. “And while you were on the phone, this random girl literally moaned, and of course, unless Y/N is deaf, we can guess that she heard it. Did I get that right?”

Jungkook sighed in frustration. “Yes”

“So, you went to check up on her and when you got to her apartment, she was just talking with some dude you don’t even know, and you had a tantrum as if you were her boyfriend whilst your neck was looking like that?” Taehyung said pointing with his finger to Jungkook’s neck.

Furrowing his brows Jungkook looked at his friend with confusion all over his face. “Huh? My neck? What are you talking about, hyung?”

He was unbelievable.

“Dude, are you for real? Look at yourself in the mirror, please.”

Jungkook traveled a few steps from the couch to the wall mirror in the living room and took a quick look at his own reflection.

Oh, no.

His eyes widened at the image in front of him. His neck was full of purple marks. Very much clear marks. He was so blinded as soon as he got your phone call that didn’t even remember that the girl in his car had sucked his neck like a leech.

Even if by some kind of miracle, you were momentarily deaf and didn’t hear the moaning while you were on the phone with him, you clearly weren’t blind and saw his neck full of hickeys. And you could only assume what had transpired with that girl.

Jungkook groaned at the frustration while saying “Fuck me.”

“You’re an idiot, Jungkook” Taehyung sighed making a few seconds pause before continuing “From what I’m hearing, she probably was going through something when she reached out to you, and you acted like an entitled asshole. You don’t even have the right to be mad. If anything, you should be thankful because she didn’t even react to the moaning or the hickeys.”

“If she didn’t react maybe she just doesn’t care about me.” Responded Jungkook almost in a whisper, sounding even sad because you didn’t react to any of it.

Is he an idiot?

“Sure, that totally makes sense. She thought of you instead of any other person when she clearly had some kind of issue, but yeah, I’m sure she doesn’t care about you at all.” Said Taehyung with the most ironic tone possible.

His friend was right about that. Ugh, now Jungkook felt anxious to know what had happen that you felt the need to call him. You already had opened up to him about your dad and it felt like you were getting closer to him, and he just went straight to fuck up everything with his unhealthy way of dealing with his feelings.

“Fuck fuck fuck. What am I going to do?”

Taehyung was surprised to see the desperation in his friend. If it were Seulgi or any other girl who they’ll be talking about, Jungkook would probably be laughing right now thinking about how bold he was to show up to his hook up all marked by another random girl. Well, to be honest, Jungkook wouldn’t have cared if Seulgi called him, he would just kept hooking up with that random girl.

But no, this time around, they were talking about you. Taehyung could see real desperation in those big doe eyes.

And even he’s friends’ with Jungkook, you’d started to feel like a friend too, he liked having you around. By now, you had hung out a few times with him and Anyra and he could see that underneath the fuck girl persona that everyone knew over the campus there was an amazing cool girl.

Just like Jungkook, underneath all those layers of alleged indifference, there was someone valuable, someone that actually cared a lot about their inner circle.

Taehyung was in some way angry at his friend. He was being an asshole to you. Even if it wasn’t intentionally. If it were any other girl, he wouldn’t be surprised. After all it is Jungkook’s usual modus operandi with women.

The thing is, at least for Taehyung who knew him very well, Jungkook had already being too obvious about you. You were not like any other girl to him, even if he didn’t show it with his stupid actions. That’s why Taehyung started to feel angry towards the youngest.

His filter went out of the window when he responded to Jungkook. “I don’t know but if I were her, I wouldn’t talk to you again.”

Ouch.

Jungkook gasped. “Wow, you really are a great friend.”

“I know I am.” said Taehyung giggling.

Jungkook glared at him in silence. He couldn’t laugh at this. Not when you were probably already hating him.

Fuck, since when does he cares about someone hating him?

“You should know by now that being your friend means that I’ll be honest with you no matter what. I’m not gonna pamper you when you clearly fucked up. Plus, I like Y/N. She’s cool.”

Yeah, she definitely is, thought Jungkook.

As he plopped himself again on the couch with his hands over his head Jungkook said “Ugh. hyung, please. I don’t know how to fix this. What should I do?”

It was stupidly simple. It started with two words.

Sighing and almost not believing how clueless Jungkook was when it came to human interactions Taehyung asked, “What do you want to do, Kook?”

“Because even for me that I’ve been your friend for years, you’re confusing as fuck.”

And that was a good question that left Jungkook thinking. What did he want?

There you were. Beautiful as always.

It was a few days later, almost a week had passed by since Jungkook last saw and talked to you.

Sitting in a bench at the end of the corridor, that feeling of superiority surrounding yourself as usual. Legs crossed, hands by your sides; a little smirk appeared on your lips once your sharp gaze fixed in Jungkook’s face.

You could see he was clearly surprised to see you there.

After days of silence and avoidance from both sides, he didn’t expect for you to be there. He couldn’t quite pin if you were mad, hurt or both and it was scary as hell. Whatever you were feeling, you were pretty good disguising it with your usual facade.

The only thing he could sense is that you went back to the old Y/N, the one that puzzled him every single time he interacted with you.

“Don’t fuck up” Taehyung’s voice in a whisper cut Jungkook’s train of thoughts as they both were approaching you.

“Hey Y/N” said Taehyung as he passed by waving his hand to you.

“Hi Tae Tae” You waved back giving him a little smile.

Tae Tae? Since when did you two got so close that you are calling him nicknames?

As Jungkook finally was in front of you, he talked almost in a whisper. “Hey”

“Hey” The cold tone with which you replied didn’t escape Jungkook’s ears neither the way you seemed to look at him with the same indifference you did when you first met. “May I have a few words with you?”

Okay. You probably are about to tell him to go fuck himself. Or maybe you want to patch things up, although he should be the one to say sorry first. Why does he have to be this coward? He should’ve been the first one to approach, not you.

Seeing that Jungkook was muted and spacing out, you decided to talk again.

“It’ll be just a few minutes, I’m not gonna take much of your time.”

He wanted to tell you that you could take all of his time whenever you wanted, but for some reason he just nodded and followed you from behind like a puppy while you started to walk towards a corridor that could give you two a little more privacy.

As he walked behind you, he could feel the trails of your scent that were being left behind. Oh, how much he’d missed it.

Suddenly, you stop your tracks and Jungkook mimics you. You turn around looking him straight to his eyes. He gulps at how beautiful you look. Always so ridiculously beautiful.

He wonders if you are even aware of how gorgeous you look. You probably do, how could you not?

“Okay, I'll go straight to the point” you said as you looked as if you were gathering your thoughts. “About what you said last time, I may be just a good fuck, but I know at least I’m not a hypocrite.”

Oh fuck. That's not what I think of you, I was just angry. That's what Jungkook had in his mind, but of course, he didn't dare to open his mouth. He just let you do the talking.

“Let me be clear with this.” You said as you took a step closer to him, making him even more nervous with your stern gaze. “You are free to do whatever the fuck you want with whoever you want to, as well as I am. I’m not gonna take any bullshit from you or anyone. I mean, you even had the audacity to act all jealousy while you were the one covered in hickeys, and right after I’d heard a girl moaning through the phone when I called you.”

God. So, you heard the moaning. And you did notice his neck covered in hickeys. That's phenomenal, Jungkook thought.

“Y/N, I’m s-” He was cut off by your hand in front of his face.

“No.”

“What?”

“Don’t even dare to say you’re sorry now. If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t even be talking. You had plenty of time to be sorry, I think I gave you enough space for you to do that. You are a big boy; you should know by now when to say sorry.”

Those big sad puppy eyes he gave you almost made you give in for a moment.

But you had to do this. This went too far already. You know you’re a valuable person, that’s what you’ve been trying to be with him – at least these past weeks when you started to get closer - and you’re not going to lower to anyone who tries to convince you otherwise, even though you’re pretty sure that everything he said to you last time you talked, were being said in the heat of the moment.

You are certain that he’s not a bad guy, he’s just an idiot sometimes.

But as you said before, you gave him space. Almost a week. You gave him enough time to fix things between you two and he didn't do anything. Not a thing.

Little did you know, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to. But because he was trying to gather his balls once and for all and apologize properly, he didn’t want to fuck up this time. He planned to apologize this week no matter what, but of course, you were not a mind reader and for you, his silence during this whole week only showed indifference which it kind of hurt you even more.

“Look.” You sighed before continuing “I don’t particularly enjoy ending things in bad terms.”

Ending? Jungkook started panicking at your words.

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you first.” You said gesturing with your hands between you two “To give whatever this was, a nice proper closing since we’ll probably keep seeing each other’s faces from time to time.”

That’s when Jungkook felt all the air was being sucked from his lungs. Suddenly he seemed to gather some courage and started talking.

“Y/N, isn't this too much? Can't we talk about this at least?”

Don’t make this any harder, was all you could think of at that moment.

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I just know that you were extremely rude with me, and you didn't even have the decency to apologize.”

“Please, just-” You cut him off again.

“No. You hurt me. You are clearly too used to girls running after you, but I’ve told you this before and I’ll say it again, I’m not gonna run after you.”

He knew that. You were too good for him after all.

“And honestly, if you think I'm just a good fuck, I don't think it will change much for you ending this thing between us.”

For a moment he thought he saw in your eyes hurt, he felt awful.

No, you’re not just a good fuck.

He wanted to say that. He wanted to say so many things. He wanted to hug you and say that he is sorry, that he wanted to reach out so many times during these past few days, but he was afraid, he didn't know how to approach.

He never had to do this before. He never cared enough. He didn't know how to deal with these kinds of situations or his feelings. He was a coward.

You in the other hand, just wanted to get over with this because if you kept looking at those big puppy eyes for one more second, you knew you'd gave in and end up kissing him.

It was always like this between you two. One minute you were getting along and the next you were barking up a storm. Maybe, it was like a little game to you both. You’d fight, then make up.

The game was fun – until it wasn’t anymore - and it seemed to be all you’ve known since you two first met.

Your stomach was twisting in ways that you hadn't felt before. You decided to ignore it and make one last effort to end this the best way you could.

“Well, I've said everything I wanted to say.” You said as you straighten up your posture and tried to sound as unaffected as possible. “It was a pleasure, Jeon. Quite literally.” You said as you lightly chuckled and then leaned in to give Jungkook one last peck on his left cheek.

Why did all of this feel so wrong?

You turned around not wanting to wait for his response and walked away, leaving a spaced out Jungkook standing all alone in that corridor while he kept his hand placed where you last kissed him.

“I'm an idiot.” He said almost in a whisper. But you weren’t there anymore to hear him saying it.

“You coming tonight?” You hear a male voice from behind you, startling you. A second ago, you were all alone in the library searching a book for one of your exams and out of the sudden someone’s by your side.

You quickly turn around to see a smiling Taehyung.

“Gosh, Tae. You scared me.” You said with your hand placed on your chest trying to calm your nerves. “At least say hi first.”

Taehyung giggled. “Hi, Y/N. Are you coming tonight?”

“You’re so weird” You sighed. “Where?”

“Duh, to Jin’s party of course.” He reminded to you.

Fuck, you had completely forgotten about that. Jungkook had definitely invited you.

Of course, that was at some point when you were in good terms. Not that you are in bad terms now, at least you don’t think so after the last talk you two had but it might be still a little bit awkward to see him again this soon.

Although you do miss his stupid face. Ugh, it’s frustrating.

You were unaware that Jungkook had actually begged Taehyung earlier to remind you about the party tonight and also convince you to go.

“No way. I’m not meddling between you two, Kook.” Said Taehyung as he finished eating the pizza that Jungkook so generously bought him out of nowhere.

Now he understood why he bought it in the first place.

“Hyung, please. You’re not meddling. You just have to tell Y/N to come to the party.”

Taehyung groaned in frustration knowing very well that Jungkook wasn’t gonna back off unless he said yes. “Fine. But you better fix everything tonight because I’m not doing this again.”

“That’s the idea.” Said Jungkook as he gave his friend a triumphant smile.

So, Taehyung’s mission here was clear. He couldn’t take a no for an answer, that’s why he wasn’t expecting your next response.

“Mm, I don’t think so. I don’t have an outfit. Plus, I should probably be studying.” You excused yourself knowing damn well you had the time to spare, since you already delivered your pending essays, while you kept seeking for the book you needed.

Taehyung made a sound of complaint, before slightly hitting your head with the first book he saw. “Hey! Tae, what the fuck?!”

“Studying is for losers. Midterms aren’t even until next week! Plus, everyone’s going tonight.” He took a pause before he whispered, “Even your boyfriend, Jungkookie.”

He winked before you grabbed the book whacking him back. “You know damn well he is not my boyfriend, and you still sleep with a fucking night light. Talk to me nicely.”

“How the hell do you know that? Did Anyra tell you? It was only one time!” He defended himself. “We had just finished watching a scary movie. What else did you expect from me, lady?”

Anyra did tell you about it and you knew that the truth was far from that. You giggled. “Sure, whatever you say, Taehyungie.”

He rolled his eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?” He continued to pressure you regardless. “Who else will accompany me to down five shots in the span of a minute?”

“No one?! That’s insane, Taehyung.”

“We’ve done it before, at my party! Now you’re just shaming me.” He mumbled in disappointment. “Whatever, stay here then. I’ll be downing my tenth shot by the time you realize the mistake you committed by staying behind.”

You shook your head smiling to yourself. You’d learned pretty quickly that Taehyung could be so stubborn at times.

In all honesty, sometimes you needed spontaneous night outs, and he was the perfect person to do almost anything chaotic and stupid with, but tonight was not the night.

Midterms were coming in soon, you needed to stay focused - or maybe you simply didn't want to bump into Jungkook and possibly see him in the arms of someone else for the night - but Taehyung didn’t need to know all that.

“Sure Tae, have fun. Let me know how it goes.”

He hummed. “See you loser.”

“Byeeee!” You shouted, watching him storm out the room and maybe you would. No, you will for sure - regret staying home, but only time would tell.

And you in fact did regret staying home.

So much so, that you had put on the first top and skirt you saw within your closet that fits you best and nearly sprinted to the party. You weren’t there to impress anyone, but you did need to at least look presentable - enough to possibly be fucked mid-party.

Well, no, maybe you were there to impress a certain someone, but any extra attractions were a plus.

You were there for a good time; you could use some distraction from college or the image of Jungkook’s sad doe eyes last time you saw him.

It was so hard for you to cope with your feelings. You ended things with Jungkook because you thought it was the best for you, but you've been hesitating non-stop about it. You hate how much it affects you, it's not the first time you end things with someone, but it is the first time that you feel some kind of regret.

But you shouldn't, no... you shouldn't.

“Y/N! You made it!” Jin tugged you in for a hug, a wide smile plastered on his face. “The boys will be so happy to see you!”

You smiled into his hug. “I’m happy to be here, Jinnie! I’ll go find them. You enjoy your party!”

He nodded, letting you go, waving a final goodbye as he disappeared into the crowd. The party was much bigger than you anticipated. Everyone was grinding on each other clearly already so fucked out of their own minds.

A lot of regrets were going to happen tonight definitely, you just hoped you weren’t a part of them.

“Y/NNNNN!” Taehyung sang into your ear, as he pulled you in for a bear hug. “You came!!!”

You giggled, hugging him back tightly. “I did. You…look already very happy!” In other words, Taehyung was completely wasted, explaining his huge smile. “Bet you won’t be happy in the morning though; I promise you that—”

He cut you off with a hand in front of your face. “Don’t ruin my good time. I knew you would make it. How could you miss this after all?” Taehyung put on an ‘I told you so’ face and he was right.

“Yeah, I know I couldn’t stay away, unfortunately.” You sighed, crossing your arms. “Where are the other boys anyways?”

Taehyung squinted his eyes, clearly up to no good in that round head of his. “You mean… Jungkookieee?”

“No.” Definitely lying, but you couldn’t let him know that. “I mean the other- other boys. Like Yoongi.”

Jungkook was so bummed when his friend told him that he couldn’t convince you to go to the party, he’d expected for you to go and talk things through in a more chill environment like this one.

Taehyung could see you were lying from a mile away, you clearly wanted to see Jungkook too. So stubborn, you two were really for each other, he thought.

He smirked. “Sure! Jungkook is around the corner, I saw him head over there earlier. Now if you excuse me, I have business to attend. Anyra is across the pool, and she has been eyeing me since she got here. I think she wants a piece of this handsome face again.”

Your face turned to disgust. “Yup. Let’s never say things like that ever again. Now bye.”

You didn’t admit it but, you were totally looking for Jungkook. There was no need to say it aloud, Taehyung knew that very well.

The entire time you had been - attempting and failed to – studying that day, Jungkook was all you could think of.

That and his usual stupid flirty behavior towards you. You missed it.

Were you too harsh when you last talked to him? Was it a mistake to end everything?

But then again, this game you guys were playing was getting old, it was just a matter of time before you both crashed and burned.

Jungkook was exactly where Taehyung had pointed, he was, except he was with a girl. The same girl you had seen him around so many times before you started this whole thing between you two. Seulgi.

Jungkook was fresh off being ‘dumped’ by you, if that’s what you call it when you end a relationship that you’re trying to pretend is just a casual friend with benefits thing.

Whatever you call it; it had happened less than 72 hours ago and from the looks of it; Jungkook and Seulgi were already rekindling things.

That stupid scene hurt you in more ways than one.

You couldn’t help, but to feel jealous. You didn’t want to care, you ended things with him, he could do whatever he wanted to, you were clear with that, but you couldn’t take your eyes of those two.

That obnoxious girl was sitting so close to him talking about who knows what. In all honesty you could see he didn’t seem so interested, avoiding all eye contact with her, but still he paid enough attention.

“Y/N!” Your attention turned to the person who called your name. You smiled as you saw that it was none other than Mingyu. “You’re here too!”

“Mingyu hi! Yeah, guess I am!” He surprised you as he wrapped his arms around your waist lifting you up into a warm hug.

Every time you saw this guy, he had always treated you so well, he was exactly like his scent, so sweet and pretty.

“You know Jin too?” You asked him curiously. Mingyu nodded, placing you back down carefully.

“Well, yes and no. He is friends with my best friend over there.” He said pointing to a guy in a corner who was gulping down what it seemed to be a tequila shot.

“Oh, wow, it’s definitely a small world. So, are you having fun so far?”

“Always.” He said as he smiled. “What do you say? Wanna dance?” He held out a hand, kind eyes.

You looked past his shoulder, Jungkook had noticed you the minute Mingyu decided to yell your name across the room, he didn’t look happy, not in the slightest.

He was surprised and insanely happy to see you there but then the surprise and happiness turned into anger and jealousy when he saw who you were with.

This was your chance. Your chance to be petty of course.

“I’d love to!” You said without hesitation.

There was never a time where you didn’t have a good time with Mingyu, especially when dancing. That reminded you to the night you ended up sleeping together, you remembered that before ending the night in your apartment you had danced with him for a long ass time.

He was never too handsy, never missed a single beat, always led well. But he was also a natural flirt, and you weren’t one to reject a playful endeavor.

“What a dream.” Mingyu whispered against your ear, hands still laid carefully against your back. “Dancing is always so much fun with you.”

You smiled, swaying your hips to the beat as you flirtatiously said, “This kinda feels like a déjà vu to me.”

He smiled in return, keeping up with your pace. “Your friend from the other day is staring.”

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

Mingyu flipped you around, your back was now against his front. “Look.”

Oh. That friend.

Jungkook was staring and he was staring hard. He did not look one bit happy, nothing about his expression screamed content. He noticed your attention on him, but he didn’t dare drop eye contact.

Instead, he decided to be even more petty than you and brought Seulgi against him, whispering something unknown against her ear. She smiled, tilting her head, her arms traveled up his chest leaning into him, but his eyes stayed on you.

He knew you were trying to get back at him. And God knows he knew damn well how to be petty. You are not the one to talk either.

You wanna play, Jeon Jungkook? The game begins now.

You dropped eye contact first, forcing yourself to focus only on Mingyu even though all your mind was replaying nonstop was Jungkook’s face. You could feel your ass pressed harder against Mingyu as the beat sped up. Your arms traveled up finding the back of his head, he tilted slightly brushing his soft lips against your neck. “I think you’re going to get me in trouble, sweetie.”

The situation was different now. You didn't think Jungkook even cared. It must had been something with his ego that was making him angry to see you with another guy that wasn’t him. There was no way he cared about you.

If only you knew what was going on in Jungkook’s mind at that exact moment.

You, like Jungkook, were popular – even though you preferred having a low profile -, everyone who knew you liked you, and, in more than one occasion, he had clearly heard that, apparently, everyone wanted to fuck you. Even females.

He absolutely agreed; after all, you were funny, smart, full of fire and absolutely gorgeous to the point one can’t look away when you’re in the same room as he was doing at that moment.

He was very much aware of the fact that the short little piece of chaos that he was staring at was not his girlfriend and, therefore, you could do whatever you want with whoever you want, and that was what had been eating him alive for the last few days since you ended things with him.

“Who fucking cares?” You whimpered, feeling Mingyu drop a kiss right below your ear. He opened his mouth barely and his teeth came in contact next. He licked before he sucked gently. You knew he was leaving a mark, but you didn’t even care at that moment.

Your hooded eyes locked with Jungkook’s, but it didn’t last long. Mingyu pulled away from your neck too suddenly. “From the looks of it, your friend cares.”

He came closer with his head tilted, whispering in your ear. “I don’t mind giving you a hand if you wanna make him jealous.”

You chuckled at the mischievousness that Mingyu’s words implied. “What a gentleman. But that sounds too petty for me.”

Liar. You were already trying to make him jealous.

He smiled and leaned down slightly, the angle making him look big, intimidating. “Well, you can think of it as taking out your frustrations on me. You seem to be too stressed lately and I wouldn’t mind. Not at all.”

Hot. This guy is so fucking hot. You would be riding him by now if it weren’t for Jungkook’s hard gaze on you. He was screwing with your head. Maybe Mingyu was a good distraction for you. If you were here with Joy and Jihyo you know they would totally encourage you to enjoy yourself with him.

After all, you and Jungkook are no longer a thing. Well, you never were, did you?

You scoffed, and smiled wide, flashing straight teeth as you said, “I might take your offer.” Then you shrugged. “We’ll see how the night goes.”

It was fine. Truly.

You weren’t together. You weren’t anything more than friends? Who occasionally happened to find their way into each other’s bed. Only when you were stressed, or it’s been a tough week. Sometimes you’d use it as a chance to let off steam before a big exam, or just when you were lonely, when your friends were out and about in your college town but neither of you had a desire to join them.

It was the perfect arrangement really. Well, not arrangement because you never really stated anything about this, but it was always implicit for you. ‘Friends’ that helped each other out, scratching an itch. Simple, no strings attached. A buddy you could get your jollies off with and then go grab a burger together without it being a big deal.

That’s what you had with one another.

So, there was absolutely no reason for you to feel a gnawing heat in your belly, eating away at the lining of your stomach, causing your insides to churn as Jungkook casually brushed a lock of long, dark curls over Seulgi’s shoulder, fingers skimming down the bare skin of the woman’s bicep as he grinned at her in that way that made his dimples crease in his cheeks.

Your smile, dammit.

Except it wasn’t. You didn’t own that. He is perfectly free to give it to whomever he wished. The thought didn’t comfort you whatsoever. Not while you were still dancing with Mingyu and watching Jungkook flirt with another girl.

Suddenly, it was too much. The people, the noise, those dark brown eyes that winked at you from across the room when Jungkook caught your eyes on him. It was all wrong.

“Did you mean what you said before?” You asked, fixing Mingyu with a look he couldn’t quite discern.

You should kick yourself for letting your emotions get the best of you. This didn’t happen before Jungkook came into your life. If you ever saw a guy that you slept with, being with another girl you would brush it off and move on to the next guy in line. You wouldn’t give two fucks.

“Which part?” Mingyu returned while studying your pretty face with interest.

“About taking out my frustrations on you?” You replied vaguely in return.

“You want to yell or hit me after we had such a great time dancing?” He asked, feigning offense, but smirking anyway.

You chuckled as you rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “Not quite.” Your eyes flicking to his. “I had something else in mind.” You added shameless, taking a tentative step towards him and hoping the look on your face and vagueness of your words have been suggestive enough for him to get the point.

There was something akin to desire in his eyes when you took another step, one that closed most of the space between you. He made his own move forward, eliminating the rest and conveying his consent, which was all the motivation you needed to rise up on your tiptoes, grab a fistful of his shirt, and press your lips to his.

It was vastly different from kissing Jungkook, which had still made you feel worried and self-conscious that you might mess things up each time. With Mingyu there was really nothing to lose so you kissed him with a reckless abandon of inhibitions you could never be capable of with Jungkook.

When it came to Jeon Jungkook, there were too many feelings involved, good and bad, too much intimacy.

With Mingyu it was a blank slate, for the most part, which is much easier to work with as far as escaping reality went than hooking up with a man that you’d shared too much of your personal life in a short period of time, things that you didn’t usually share with anyone.

Mingyu was a decidedly good kisser, which was no surprise. But there was an almost smugness you felt radiating off of him when you left out a soft moan of pleasure against his lips as his fingers squeezed your hips roughly whilst his other hand stroked up and down your back, warm and heavy. He knew he was talented, of course, and he was not even remotely shy about making that known.

“We shouldn’t do this here, gorgeous” He stated, breathless in his own right after a few all-consuming moments of letting his lips devour yours wantonly.

You left out a frustrated huff, both at the statement and the break in the passionate series of kisses you’d been sharing that had been doing a world of good relieving the frustrations and stress that had been so overwhelming for you in the moments before.

You know that it’s true, what he’d said. Thankfully, you weren’t lost in your thoughts long as he started talking again. “We could go upstairs, if you want.” He said, not a hint of shyness in his words.

“Sure, let's do that.” You said in immediate agreement, disentangling yourself from him and heading upstairs.

As soon as Jungkook saw you and Mingyu kissing and then going upstairs, he got up from his seat consumed in rage and said, “Fuck this, I’m getting the fuck out of here.”

Before Seulgi had a chance to say anything, Jungkook was darting his way out of the room, beelining down the hall and weaving through people until he reached the backdoor.

It was just as lively out there, people set up playing beer pong and a few smoking beside the hedges, laughing together, but at least there wasn’t the suffocating, overheated atmosphere of too many bodies crammed into one room. And the music was blessedly muted out there.

Maybe he could breathe for a few minutes, get himself back under control. Maybe he should just go home, he thought absently. And with that he just got onto his car and went straight home, trying not to think anymore of you and Mingyu, and failing miserably every time.

Going to that party had been a mistake.

Seulgi on the other hand, wasn’t even surprised. She had seen how hard he was staring at you before you went upstairs, one of his veins at his neck was about to pop anytime soon. She also knew Jungkook was just using her to make you jealous, but as long as she got some action she didn’t care. And now she was left high and dry.

She would have to look for another guy to screw with, what a waste of time.

“You want something to drink first?” Asked Mingyu, watching lingeringly as you walked up the stairs.

“No, I’d rather just…” You bit your lip and shrugged, your eyes casting to his, not bothering to feel embarrassed by the implied forwardness of your half-statement.

Now that you weren’t being disoriented by strobe lights, on the corner of a dark room, he really took in just how hot you looked with the clothing you were wearing. Just the sight of you like that was such a turn on, your curves were more than just a little enticing.

He couldn’t wait to have you again. He didn’t even care if you were hung up on the guy that was staring at you downstairs because Mingyu could clearly see that you were affected by Jungkook. But tonight, you were his again and he wanted to be inside you no matter what.

He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing at your words. It didn’t take any further convincing for him to comply, tucking his hand into yours and leading you towards the first bedroom in sight.

The room you got in had a design theme of all dark colors and sharp angles. There was a king size bed adorned in all black and you found it made neatly.

“So, what exactly do you have in mi-” Mingyu couldn’t finish his question, because your lips were pressed to his again with the same passion as before, as if unpausing a movie you’d put on hold for the ride upstairs.

His hands started at your face, cupping your cheeks as he kissed you back until moving them to grasp the backs of your thighs and urged your legs to leave the ground in favor of wrapping around his waist.

He started pressing you gently into the mattress as his body came down heavily over yours. His lips start their southern descent, trailing down between your breasts and over your bare stomach as your body writhed under his with the pleasure elicited from such actions.

“Mingyu, you don’t have to– oh ,” Your sentence faded off into a moan as he dipped his face between your legs, his tongue swiping over already apparent arousal as his nose bumped up against your most sensitive area. All this, and he hadn’t so much as removed your panties yet.

“Stop talking now, Y/N” He muttered against your thigh before resuming his action, using his tongue to work you up appropriately.

Fuck. He sounded hot.

If this were Jungkook, you’d be almost embarrassed at how fast he’s able to make you cum. At the graceless moans that had fallen from your lips as your hips had bucked up wildly from under the strength of his restraint. But this was Mingyu, and you weren’t thinking about much of anything besides your immediate pleasure. Well, that… and Jungkook.

You quickly brushed him off and concentrated on reaching your orgasm as you felt Mingyu’s tongue rapidly licking and sucking your clit. A minute and few moans later and you were releasing your juices, pleasure running all over your body.

You were not sure you loved the satisfied smile Mingyu was wearing, clearly proud at how fast he had made you come undone. “We can stop there, if you want, gorgeous.” He said sweetly.

This time, Jungkook was the furthest thing from your mind, lust clouting all of your inner thoughts. “Just fuck me already, Mingyu.” You said with uncharacteristic grit, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you looked at him with your pupils fully blown.

He actually groaned because hearing you say that sentence with his name tacked onto the end just did something to him that he wasn’t quite expecting.

He slipped back up your body, his lips pressing to yours with the taste of you still on them. His hand moved to where his mouth had just been and you arched your back, rising up into his touch desirously. “How do you want it?” He asked, his mouth on your neck now, his tongue swirled against your skin as he sucked lightly but not enough to leave a mark.

“I don’t care.” You said, breathless as you squeezed your eyes shut, squirming underneath his ministrations, craving more from him in an unabashed way.

“Well, I do.” He said pointedly, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone with greater affection than you expected. “Now tell me again, Y/N” He dragged his lips down from your neck to the valley between your breasts, nuzzling his nose against your flesh. His hands slipped up your back and under the small fabric of your top. “How do you want it?” He repeated the question, his breath ghosting over your skin.

You had a default answer, you thought. Typically, you liked it on top, because you enjoyed having control. But at that moment, you felt like being powerless to someone else and somehow you also felt safe letting that person be Mingyu.

You slid your hand down his torso until you could feel his hardness strained against the confines of his zipped-up jeans. You bit your lip at the way it spanned most of your palm, you remembered how big he was. Not as big as Jungkook, but big enough to make you cum.

“Hard,” You admitted without shyness, the double intender not lost on you. “...and rough.” You added, rolling over and rising up onto your knees, pulling your top off and letting it fall to the floor.

“Fuck. Is that really what you like or just what you think you deserve?” He asked a question that felt more loaded and accusatory than maybe he meant for it to. But he trailed his hand from your shoulder down your spine to settle on your hip anyway, his lips following the same path briefly, as he ridded you of the rest of your clothes and his quickly followed suit.

Suddenly, you felt the sound of something near you vibrating. What was that? A phone?

“Hey,” You said through gritted teeth, your annoyance increasing slightly at the sound of it while he was flicking a condom wrapper to the floor, pressing himself against you wantonly. “I-I think your phone is vibrating.” You whined.

“It probably can wait,” He said, laughing gently at your eagerness, but not at your expense. His fingers slipped teasingly to where his tongue had already tipped you over the precipice of pleasure with minimal effort. They were thick and wide, and two of them working together almost felt like he was giving you what you wanted if you closed your eyes.

That was until he really gave you what you wanted, and you realized just how incomparable the real thing is to those skillful fingers of his. You gasped at the fullness. It took a few long moments before the pressure faded into pleasure instead and you felt his hand slip over your breast and up towards your throat.

Now this is the type of escape you really needed. It was mindless, the way you’d lost yourself to the pleasure his rocking, vigorously paced hips provided you while his thumb traced patternless circles between your legs. Your mind finally achieved an escape from all of the hurtful things that these past few days usually plagued your thoughts.

When your second orgasm of the night hit you and Mingyu finally released his seeds on the condom, you were left with nothing there, not even the anxiety to feel self-conscious about the way he made you moan loudly or beg him for more.

A few minutes later, you were both putting your clothes on again with silly smiles on your faces.

As soon as he finished putting his jeans again, with his chest on display for you to admire, he took a step towards you and cupped your face giving you a long kiss that almost made you undress him again. If it weren’t for his phone that was vibrating on his pocket, you probably would have.

He stopped the kiss and groaned. “Sorry, I should probably take that now.”

You giggled at his annoyed looks. “Yeah, go ahead.”

Based on the conversation he had with whoever called him, you realized it was probably one of his friends and Mingyu didn’t seem to be so happy when he finished talking over the phone.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry I have to leave, apparently my idiot best friend is completely wasted, and we came with my car, so I have to drive him home.”

“No worries. Thanks for helping to relieve my stress.” You said with a teasing smile.

Mingyu chuckled as he put his shirt on. “My pleasure. You know we can repeat it whenever you want to.”

You nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind”

He kissed you one last time and said “See you, Y/N.”

“See you, Mingyu.”

He waved you from the door and closed it as he left to let you finish cleaning up yourself. You were finishing putting your boots while sitting on the bed when the sound of the door opening made you giggle.

“Did you forget something, Min-“ You cut your own words and your smile dropped as soon as you turned around and saw someone that was not Mingyu standing there.

It was a guy you recognized seeing around campus, you had bumped into him a few times when you were going to classes or at the library. You usually don’t remember people’s faces that easily but there was something on his gaze that always unsettled you, he was creepy to say the least. He never talked to you but every time you saw him, he was either looking at you or near your classrooms which you thought it was because he had classes over there too but no.

The guy entered the room, closing the door behind him alarming you instantly.

You got up from the bed immediately with arms crossed, trying to look as unaffected as possible. “Ah. Excuse me. Who are you?”

The creep smirked and chuckled making you feel goosebumps on your skin, not the good ones.

You were fucked.

Hoseok was trying to decide if he wanted to open a third beer or just head to bed for the night when his phone rang. Groaning to himself, he fumbled in his pocket for the device.

Without even looking at the ID, he answered the phone. “Yes?”

“H-hobi?”

His bright usual persona raised immediately as he recognized the voice on the other end of the line. “Oh, hey darling, what’s up?”

“Hobi, I know it’s late but I-I…”

Something was off. Your voice was shaky with a definite huskiness that wasn’t usually present, and he could hear the tears threatening to fall with every word. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“I was at this p-party I went and…This guy, he-he cornered me-” Hobi’s blood ran cold “-and, uh, can you ju-just please come get me?”

“Are you hurt? What did he do to you?”

A massive sob was your only response.

Trying to keep his voice calm and level, he asked, “Where are you?”

“I ran off. I’m in the a-alley across from the li-library” you said between hiccupy cries.

“I’ll be right there.” Hobi paused, his voice softening slightly. “And hey, it’s gonna be okay, do you hear me? I want you to stay on the phone with me until I can get there. You don’t have to say anything, but I want to make sure I’m here if you need me. Can you do that?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

Hoseok tore through another red light as he sped across town trying to get to you. Since he had left his apartment, you hadn’t said a word over the phone but every once and a while he could hear a soft sniffle or stifled sob from your end and the sounds felt like a dagger to his heart.

Jung Hoseok. The two of you had become fast friends ever since the night he had met you at the bar where you used to hang out with Joy and Jihyo.

Jihyo would constantly talk about his classmate who also became her close friend and she had described him as someone who was always friendly and easygoing and that was certainly accurate as he had easily managed to break down the walls you normally built up around new people.

And soon, your chats at the bar grew into coffees before classes at the campus, which soon became watching movies on his or your couch while eating take-out on your days off.

He felt like a brother to you.

You didn’t have many friends outside of Joy and Jihyo. Or at least not the kind you could hang out with outside the prison walls of college. So, it was nice to have someone like him in your life.

As Hoseok pulled into the empty library parking lot and hurried across the street, he saw you almost immediately. Leaning up against the wall, you had your legs pulled tightly against your chest and your face buried in your knees. As you heard him approach, you sunk even deeper into yourself as if you were trying to disappear completely.

Slowing to a stop, Hoseok crouched down a few feet away from you. Calling out softly, he said, “Y/N, it’s just me. You have nothing to be afraid of anymore.”

You relaxed slightly, the tension easing out of your shoulders, but you still hid your face. “It’s okay, darling. No one will hurt you again, not while I’m around. I swear, but please can you let me see what happened? I need to see how bad it is.”

It took almost a full minute, but you cautiously peered up at him with a haunted look that sucked the air from Hoseok’s lungs.

Your lipstick was smeared across your split, bloody lip and down the side of your chin. Black trails of mascara dripped down your cheeks from the tears you had been crying, he also noticed your cheek near the bloody lip was red and a little bit swollen. Both your top and your skirt had been torn apart and one of your earrings appeared to have been ripped out. He could see a dozen different emotions cycling through your face: fear, relief, sadness, helplessness, gratitude, shame, pain.

“Oh, love,” he muttered under his breath as he straightened up and slowly began to approach you.

Without a word, he slid down the wall until he was seated beside you and the two of you just stared into the darkness of the night. Finally, after about five minutes of just sitting in silence, Hoseok whispered, “Are you alright?”

Still not looking him in the eye, you murmured, “Can you just take me home?” Your voice was hoarse and cracking, probably damaged from screaming for help.

“Of course, whatever you need.” Hoseok stood then offered you his hand.

You pulled back slightly, eyeing his hand as if it were a snake about to strike. The sight of you scared to even touch him, made Hoseok’s heart sink even further.

It wasn’t right. Not coming from the girl who would jump on his back in public and make him give her a piggyback ride. Who would idly run her fingers through his hair while his head rested in her lap during a movie. Yet now, just the thought of taking his hand seemed to terrify you.

Without moving his hand any closer or farther away, Hoseok said, “It’s okay, love. If you don’t want to take it, you don’t have to. I’m here to help any way I can. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

Hesitating for a moment longer, you finally cautiously placed your left hand in his outstretched right one. He gently wrapped his fingers around yours and slowly rubbed his calloused thumb over the back of your hand as he pulled you to your feet with a reassuring smile.

You stared down at your hands for a minute but then your bottom lip began to tremble. Without warning, you dove into Hoseok’s chest, wrapping your arms around his frame as you began to sob. He slowly returned the embrace, ready to back off at the slightest sign that you were uncomfortable. But you just buried yourself deeper into him.

He began rubbing your back, whispering softly that it was going to be okay. He rested his chin on the top of your head, feeling your sobs vibrating in his jaw. He had never seen you cry before this. Not even to shed a tear at a sad movie or when you dislocated your shoulder in the gym. And now seeing you fall apart in his arms was almost too much for Hoseok to bear.

When your tears finally subsided, he tried to lead you to his car. But when you tried taking a step, you hissed loudly and fell into him. Glancing at your foot, he saw your ankle was swollen to almost twice its normal size. So, he simply scooped you up in his arms and carried you across the street.

As he sat you down in the passenger seat of his car, you once again pulled your knees into your chest and curled up into a tight ball. Hoseok had a blanket in the back seat that he brushed off and draped over you. Then he got into the driver’s seat and took off for your apartment.

Neither one of you spoke the entire ride. Occasionally, he would glance over at you out of the corner of his eye, but you remained motionless, just staring out the window. And even when he stopped the car in your building parking lot and lifted you out of your seat, you still just stared blankly ahead.

He was able to get you to dig your keys out of your pocket, but it was still an almost robotic movement as your eyes remained lifeless and glazed.

Once inside your apartment, Hobi wasn’t quite sure what to do.

Should he place you in your bed so you could get some sleep? Help you take a shower and rinse off your blood? Should he sit you at the table and try to get you to eat something?

Finally, he decided to place you down on the couch so he could patch up your injuries first. He had grabbed the first aid kit from your bathroom. Having lived in your apartment for a few weeks last summer, he knew his way around and where you used to place those kinds of things. He began to lay out the bandages and disinfectants on your coffee table. Then he went to your freezer and grabbed two bags of frozen vegetables.

When he returned to the couch, he handed one to you. “Here. Place that over your cheek. It’ll help with the swelling.” He then used some of the gauze to wrap the other bag of vegetables around your ankle.

As you placed the frozen bag on your face, the cold seemed to rouse you from your state of shock. You seemed slightly more alert than you had been in the car. So, while he opened a disinfectant wipe to clean off your face, Hoseok muttered, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

You winced as the wipe dabs at your busted lip, but you whispered, “It was just some drunk asshole I remember seeing at the campus. He never talked to me, but I kept seeing him leering at me. He never actually tried to approach me until now, so I didn’t think much about it.”

He nodded and sighed deeply. “Where are the girls? I’ve told you again and again, it is too dangerous to be going to a college party alone,” Hoseok said, finishing cleaning your lip.

“I know, I just needed to get some stress away, and Joy and Jihyo were busy today. I knew some friends would be there, so I just decided to go.”

Jungkook. You went there because you wanted to see Jungkook, although you were never going to admit it out loud.

You also weren’t going to admit that the first person you looked for help right after the attempt of assault was him, but you weren’t able to find him anywhere at the party and you just wanted to get the fuck out of that house.

You’d already turned lots of people’s attention on your looks, which you hated to even think about. People were probably already gossiping. You remember Anyra and Taehyung’s horror faces as soon as they saw you, you didn’t even give them time to ask what had happened to you as you quickly ran off.

You probably should message Anyra later to explain yourself. You don’t even understand how you ended up in this fucked up situation.

“You could have called me. I would’ve gone with you.” Hoseok cut your thoughts as he started wiping some of your ruined makeup off your cheeks.

“I didn’t want to bother you; I remembered you told me that you wanted to stay in this weekend.” The words were spoken so softly, Hoseok almost didn’t hear them.

“Darling, you’re never a bother. You know that. I just want you to be safe. I need you to be safe.” He reached for your right hand, but you flinched and grunted in pain as he touched it.

Examining it closer, he saw, like your ankle, it was swollen not as much but it was probably sprained. With a sigh, he pulled out more gauze and began to wrap your wrist.

As you shifted to allow him a better angle, your torn shirt slid open. You quickly readjusted it, but a terrible thought occurred to Hoseok.

He cleared his throat and looked around the room nervously. “Listen, I don’t really know how to ask this, but it’s important. Did he...I-I, mean, I saw your clothes were torn….so did he... do anything to you, you know…in that way.”

You ducked your head in embarrassment but shook it slightly. “No. He tried but….” You just shook your head again.

Hoseok let out a small sigh of relief. It was bad enough what that asshole did, but if he had been able to go through with his intent... No, his blood boiled just thinking about it.

You nudged him slightly in the side and his attention snapped back to you. He realized he had been clenching his fists so hard, one or two of his nails had actually broken his skin, leaving small crescent moon shaped cuts on his palms. Clearing his throat, he turned his focus back to your arm.

As he finished wrapping your wrist, he nodded at your fingers. “Does whatever happened to your wrist have to do with why your knuckles are all bruised up?”

“Yeah, I did what Jiji taught me. I punched the guy in the throat.”

Jihyo had attended a self-defense training a few years ago and she constantly asked to practice with you and Joy whatever she had learnt. She always said, “You never know when a girl would need to use her fists to protect herself”. And how right she was.

Hoseok chuckled proudly. “Really? Good girl.”

“Yeah, but that’s when he hit me in the face, the fucker reacted faster than I thought.” The smile dropped from Hoseok’s face as he watched you move the bag of vegetables and tenderly touch the bruising around your left cheek. “We started struggling and that’s when he tore my clothes and twisted my hand, he tried to-…touch me and I-I grabbed the first thing I saw near me, I think it was a lamp and I hit him as hardest as I could with that thing in the face and that’s when I ran off.”

“I’m so sorry, love. I really wish you wouldn’t have to go through this at all.”

“Not your fault. I would have been a lot worse off if Jiji hadn’t taught me what she did. I’ll have to thank her later for that.” You glanced down at your lap. “And thanks for everything tonight, Hobi. I-I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come to get me.” Your voice was growing thick with tears once again.

“Anytime. I’m always here for you.” Hoseok squeezed the fingers of your uninjured hand tightly before saying, “Well, all good to go. Just give it a few days, and you should be good as new.”

Hoseok silently cursed himself for his choice of words. While physically you might be better in just a few days’ time, he knew that the emotional and mental scars created tonight might never really go away. “Um, uh, is there anything else I can do for you right now? Anything I can get you?”

“Can you just……just hold me for a while?” you whispered softly as your voice broke a little.

“Of course, love. Whatever you need.”

Next day morning, Jungkook was on his way to the field, to meet his friends as usual. Jin, Taehyung and Yoongi would probably be already there. Jimin hasn’t shown up since he got into the fight with Jungkook. They haven’t talked since then.

Which made Jungkook think how everything got so messed up during the last few months. Not only he ended up punching one of his oldest and best friends – although Jimin totally deserved it – but he also managed to fuck things up with you.

Last night he almost couldn’t even sleep, thoughts of you and that guy in the party flooded his mind. He knows you’ve probably slept with him. And maybe you were probably still in his arms.

He hated to think that you were with someone else, he tried not to think of it but failed miserably every single time. He knew he couldn’t demand anything from you, not when you ended things with him. And to begin with, you weren’t even exclusive when you were ’together’.

He should’ve apologized earlier.

He knew he was being unreasonable when he treated you like shit the other day. If it weren’t because you called him and interrupted his shenanigans with that girl in his car the other day, he probably would have slept with her too. He couldn’t blame you for sleeping with someone else.

Maybe he even pushed you to sleep with that guy. He never acted as petty as last night. He wasn’t even listening what Seulgi was saying to him at the party, she was probably trying to get laid – as usual – but he wasn’t in the mood, not when his mind was elsewhere. On you.

But when he saw you with Mingyu, he couldn’t help it. He got so angry. He was the one that should have danced with you at that party, not that guy. You made him feel all sort of things that he never felt before. This was beyond frustrating.

As he walked through the field, he could see from a far his friends were engaged in a conversation. Anyra was there too.

“Yeah, I talked with Y/N about what happened last night, she texted me back a few minutes ago.” Jungkook heard Anyra talking.

Oh, no. The last thing he needs is everyone talking in front of him about who you screwed with last night.

“Please. I don’t want to hear who Y/N slept with.” Said Jungkook with a sour expression on his face.

Anyra and the other guys turned their heads to Jungkook with furrowed eyebrows.

“Did someone drop you on the head when you were a baby?” said Yoongi with his arms crossed over his chest and his usual cold tone.

Taehyung intervened seeing Jungkook’s confused face, he realized he might not know what happened since he left the party earlier. “Wait. Do you not know what happened to Y/N yesterday?”

Jungkook felt like his blood ran cold all of the sudden. “What the fuck are you talking about? Did something bad happen to her?”

His friends looked at each other. A few seconds of silence followed.

“Guys, can someone tell me what the fuck is happening?” Jungkook insisted.

“Calm down, Kook” Jin sighed as he explained “A guy at my party tried to assault her, she fought with him and managed to escape.”

“Poor Y/N, she looked li-“ Taehyung stopped talking as he saw Jungkook leaving “Hey! I’m talking! Where the fuck are you going Jungkook?”

“I forgot I had an essay to write. See you later guys.”

All his friends started laughing. They obviously knew he was lying.

“He hasn’t written an essay in his entire life.” Yoongi pointed out as he chuckled.

“I bet the essay’s name is Y/N.” added Anyra teasingly.

Taehyung watched his friend running towards his car. “He’s so whipped, he just doesn’t want to see it.”

Hoseok had stayed the night with you to make you company, he knew you were still pretty shaken up about last night’s events. Joy and Jihyo also came to your place last night as soon as Hoseok told them what had happened, and they decided to stay with you too.

The girls both had compromises this morning that they couldn’t miss and after a long hour of convincing them that you were okay and that they should go, they did.

You felt lucky and proud of the friends you made. You might not have a lot of friends, but they were without a doubt, the best that you could ever had.

You were watching Netflix on your couch when Hoseok came back with a pizza box you easily recognized in one of his hands and a convenience store bag in the other.

“You got us pizza from Hierin’s? Ohhhh yeessss, you know how much I love that pizza.”

Hobi chuckled. “It wasn’t me. Guess someone left it at your doorstep. I thought you might have asked for a delivery.”

With furrowed brows you said “Huh? No. I didn’t. Who would do that?”

“Maybe Jungkook. I’m pretty sure I saw him parked at the front of the building.”

Jungkook? What the hell was he doing here? Maybe Taehyung and Anyra told him something about what happened yesterday. Most likely Taehyung opened his big mouth.

You immediately went to check over your window and it was indeed Jungkook’s car that was parked in front of your building entrance. You decided to text him. Last time you had a proper talk with each other was when you said that you wanted to end things, it felt a little bit weird texting him again.

Y/N: Hey, where are you?

Few seconds later his response came in.

JK: Hey. I’m at the bar near the campus having a beer with the guys and some girls. What’s up?

Liar. You chuckled seeing his idiotic response. Was he patrolling the area surrounding your building?

Little did you know, he was. He wasn’t gonna admit it because he thought it might sound lame and maybe you wouldn’t want him to be there after everything that happened between you two. He also bought you the pizza from your favorite place, he remembered one time you had mentioned it.

Y/N: Home. Just bored. Well, have fun!

Huh? What? You just cut him off like that. Jungkook wanted to keep talking, he was expecting for you to say that you wanted to see him or maybe tell him about last night. He started typing as he tried to think what the hell to respond.

“So, I guess the bar is actually your car.”

Jungkook almost jumped of his seat, his phone dropping on the car’s floor as you surprised him standing right next to his window.

He almost felt like crying when he saw you. You had your lip cut and the surrounding area and cheek a little bit bruised up. He saw you had gauze around one of your wrists, your knuckles were clearly bruised up. Even like that, you still looked like the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes on.

He was going to kill the motherfucker who did this to you.

“Uh..n-no, I was just about to leave when you texted me.” Said as he stammered his response.

Your lips twitched. You wanted to laugh at his face so bad. He is really bad at acting. “You are all alone, I thought you said you were with some girls.”.

“I-I was but I was feeling tired, so I left alone.”

It was so amusing to see him trying to elaborate a lie.

You sighed. “Oh, well. You should get going then and have some rest.” Jungkook just nodded sadly. Maybe he was expecting for you to say something else.

As you walked back to your building you suddenly stopped and turned around looking him straight to those beautiful doe eyes and gave him a smile. “Oh, I almost forgot. Thanks for the pizza, JK.”

JK. You never called him by his nickname. It was always either Jeon or Jungkook.

Jungkook felt the way he started blushing instantly at your words. JK. It sounded so much better in your lips.

Have some balls, Jungkook. He encouraged himself. He couldn’t let you go just like that so, he instantly got out of his car and ran towards you, startling you as he hugged you from behind.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so fucking sorry. About the way I treated you, about what happened to you last night. I’ve should’ve been there for you. I’ve said so many hurtful things too. You’re not just a good fuck, you are an amazing person. I care so much about you. I-I just got so angry and didn’t measure what I said, you don’t deserve to be treated like that. Please Y/N forgive me, I miss spending time with you.”

You were left speechless. You weren’t expecting to hear all of those things coming out from him. Your heart was beating 10 times faster than usual.

You looked to your side, where he was laying his head on your shoulder as he kept hugging your body, he looked so damn cute. “I’m sorry too, JK. But let’s not talk about this now, okay?”

Jungkook nodded and surprised you once again when he leaned in and gave you a peck on your cheek. You gulped feeling your face turning red, shivers running down your skin. Only know you realized how much you missed him.

Trying to recompose yourself, you asked stammering a bit “U-um, you wanna come upstairs and eat some pizza?” The galaxy in his eyes sparkling at you as you kept talking “That is if Hobi left anything, he really loves pizza.”

Smiling uncontrollably, Jungkook responded “Yeah, I’d love to.”

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⏤ author's note❧ It's finally here! 😄 It's been a really tough month for me, work was kicking my ass and I barely had time to write, also I'll admit I had a minor writer's block for a lil bit but thankfully that's all behind us. Thank you for everyone who patiently waited for this update! I really really hope y'all enjoy it 😚 Please, don't hesitate on leaving your feedback, reblog, send me asks, whatever you'd like. I always love reading your comments 💜🥰

⏤ tag list❧ @chimsworldsstuff @ahgasegotarmy116 @whoa-jo @aloverga @coralmusicblaze @ericawantstoescape @jk97bam @hoseokteardrop @aiselle90210 @bbtsficrecs

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pickingupmymercedes · 7 months

Text

Under an Ipê tree - Lewis Hamilton

The three times your annual visit to Senna’s tomb brought something different

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Senna! Reader

warnings: mentions of death, mourning, AD 21', Lewis at Ferrari (rubbing salt into every open wound apparently)

wordcount: +1k

a/n: Not gonna lie, started this one with something in mind and it took a life of its own. I know Senna! Reader isn't everyone's cup of tea, so please, proceed with caution, because there is mention to real events and real emotions envolved with mourning. Also, AD 21', I'm sure as hell not over that, so here's another trigger warning.

a/n. 2: Those trees are how pink Ipês look in blossom, I know Brasil is not known for its colder months but those beauties come alive after the few cold weeks.

_______________________________________

Like most traditions it started without any intent on actually becoming a thing. You and Lewis would take a couple hours off on Wednesdays before the Brazilian GP every year, the destination a known one to everyone in the paddock. It was a journey you used to do by yourself until Lewis had been the brave, and first one, to ask you if he could tag along. He’d been to Senna’s tomb before, you knew that much, but the respect and adoration he held for your late father had you deciding he should be good company.

_______________________________________

“I swear I had never seen my mom angrier. Can you imagine her with the speaker at Interlagos shouting to everyone with an ear that I shouldn’t be racing and if anything happened Ayrton was to blame cause I wasn’t even old enough to be there” You told a laughing Lewis while remembering when your father faked an ID so he could sneak you to the track and teach you how to race in your brand new - Mclaren themed – kart. A Christmas gift he went out of his way to get to the famous Brazilian track circuit in time to open day.

“You know, my favorites snippets of his life are the ones you talk about, Sundays at the pool, ice cream dates, kart running without your mom knowing. Whenever someone talks about him it’s always about his wins, his hardships, his cars and battles … it’s almost as if he didn’t exist beyond formula 1, like we froze just a fraction of him and forgot all about the rest.”

You smiled at him, you liked how Lewis never questioned your feelings towards f1’s out of this world idolatry on your father, mainly because at the end of the day, to your 8 year old past self, Ayrton was first and foremost “pai”, the dude that thought you not to be afraid by throwing you into the ocean when no one was looking, the one that cooked instant noodles for dinner in spite of your mom’s pleads, the one that constantly tried to show you that love is a feeling we should act upon in the present and never wait for a so promised tomorrow.

“He would’ve liked you I think… would’ve hated to race you, for sure. But as a person, he would have probably seen you as one of the good ones, pointing out bullshit, fighting fia every chance you get, protecting the guys back at the garage, focusing on racing and not talking, looking out for everyone.” You answered truthly, as he respectfully held his hands behind his back looking at the tomb stone, while you casually sat in the edge of the stone, almost too comfortable around the place from all the visits you’ve done over the years.

“I think you should meet Galisteu someday, she’ll have way more interesting stories about him to tell you than I do.” You absentmindedly noted, remembering all she’s told you about your father, this other side to him you never got the time to see.

“Nah… we’re our truest around kids, his best version was the one you got to see. Now, what was that time he sneaked a stray dog onto your apartment?” he asked while reaching for your shoulder so you both could walk along the path back to the car awaiting to take you both back.

_______________________________________

“I don’t think I really remember the sound of his voice” you sighed looking up at the Ipê tree just beside the tomb. You had shown Lewis a photo of what it looked like once in full blossom before, in the Brazilian winter, and he promised you he would eventually find the time to come see it in its full glory in late June.

The walk in the cemetery, the light hearted banter, him opening his heart on dreams and the future and the confessions you would eventually make to Lewis about Ayrton were part of the annual occurrence you had both unspokenly agreed on, but that one line seemed to have hit him hard enough he just motioned you to go on, no answers or remarks.

“I mean, I know what his voice sounds like because there’s a thousand and one interviews with him, but I don’t think I can truly remember what he sounded like in real life … how he talked to me.” You explained it further, now looking at the Briton.

He engulfed you in a hug, the kind only he knew how, your tears leaving marks on his shoulders. You would rarely cry over anything related to your father, at least not in front of people anyway, but Lewis was… well, Lewis. You and Niki were the one who pushed, like hell, to sign him to Mercedes back in 2014 against everyone’s better judgment, and while you knew he would be every bit the driver and phenomenon he was, neither of you anticipated the friendship that came out of seeing him almost every GP you attended. A relationship that had crept its own way into your hearts, slowly allowing to see each other as something more than just good friends.

“He’s proud of you, wherever he is. I know that much” He whispered, leaving a soft kiss to your temple and bringing you even closer to his body.

_______________________________________

“He would’ve crashed into Verstappen back in 2021, wouldn’t he?” He prompted out of nowhere, gazing seriously at the tomb as you observed him pondering over the possible outcomes of a race that, like a ghost, had been following him nonstop, specially with the São Paulo GP fast approaching and with it his chances of securing his 8th title, two races before the end of the season.

“Start another Senna vs. Prost ?! ” You thought out loud, trying to read into his expressions and mannerisms, a talent of his you weren’t quite as good.

“Maybe I should’ve done it”

“You’re not like that Lew. You’re you and no one, not a single person, wants someone else” Your exasperation clear in your voice, hands reaching for his chin as his eyes locked into yours and he nodded, an unspoken agreement between the two of you, one you had to hammer into his head from time to time, that he may have Ayrton as his idol but he was just as much of an icon to the sport, and to a million of kids out there.

“On Sunday you’re going to reach that top step in your red suit, fulfill Ayrton’s dream and claim a championship for Ferrari. You. Not him, nor anyone else” and come the end of the race, he did just that. Smiling down at the sea of people in a mix of old Mercedes merchs and new Ferrari ones, dedicating his trophy to all the other people who believed in the impossible with him.

#lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton imagine #f1 x reader #ayrton senna #Senna!reader

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myung-jaes · 2 months

Text

USED TO THIS ― lee anton

010. how do u swim on dry land

immediately upon pushing his front door open with the tip of his finger, anton screamed, the noise falling into tune with the squeaking of the hinges of his front door. his arms flailed everywhere, hitting the wall to find the light switch, while also working to shield his body from whatever weapon the entity in his apartment might have.

“what the fuck, dude?” anton grasped his chest as the lights turned on in the room, his eyes adjusting to the brightness, immediately recognizing your figure sprawled across his couch, your chin resting on the velvet blue arm of the couch. “you’re insane.”

“what? spare key,” you waved the metal key in the air, the light reflecting off of it. you laughed at the terrified look on anton’s face, his brown eyes wide, pupils dilated, and his breathing uneven.

anton rolled his eyes, acknowledging the mocking tone in your voice, hints of you taking a jab to when he had entered your apartment the prior week using his spare key. “okay, well you could’ve told me, you know, give a little heads up?”

“you’re one to talk. you literally broke into my apartment last week without me knowing,” you taunted, raising yourself to sit straight on the couch. “plus, i tried texting you, but you didn’t respond. also, because we haven’t talked in a while, i bought you food and gundam to make up for it.”

shit. anton felt his face drop, you were catching on to his attempts of avoiding you, and still, you were the first one to try to break the distance. he felt his heart tug at the way you were ready to apologized, ready to take the blame, even if you didn’t know what it was— knowing that it wasn’t even your fault, it was on him for being stupid and making bigger efforts than he needed to in order to give you your space.

“you didn’t have to, i mean, it’s not like we’re not talking, right? we just talked a while ago.”

“anton, it’s tuesday, and the last time you actually talked to me was last wednesday. i feel like you’re just avoiding me, i mean, everytime i come to talk to you, you always walk away and act like you don’t see me. hell, you even stopped sitting next to me in humanities.”

shit. shit. shit.

watching anton just stand there in silence, unmoving to your previous words, you spoke again, your voice quieter than usual. “did i do something? i mean, were you lying that day when you went on your whole i can’t get mad at you spiel or what?”

“no, no, no.” anton shut his eyes briefly, bowing his head before taking slow strides to you, stopping right in front of the couch. “you didn’t do anything, and i wasn’t lying when i said that— i actually cannot fathom the thought of getting mad at you. i was just being stupid, it’s nothing.”

the words were sitting at the tip of his tongue, but anton couldn’t tell you the truth. he would never tell you the real reason why he was being distant in the first place.

oh, the guys told me that i need to give you space so you can make progress with taeyoung, but i’m a dumbass and thought: oh! i should just ignore her.

he couldn’t say that, he would sound dumb, and it would probably only irritate you further to the point where you would go out of your way to push taeyoung away just to prove to anton that he didn’t need to do that. you always did that, you always made sure he wouldn’t be at any inconvenience because of you.

the questioning look on your face only worried anton further, anxious that you would pry at him, trying to get him to open up about what’s on his mind. yet, he couldn’t let you speak, afraid that if you did, he would easily succumb to your soothing words and concerned questions.

“well, forget about that. you said you brought food and gundam,” anton plastered a wide smile on his face as he jumped onto the couch beside you, hitting you in the process. you shoved him away from you, hitting him back.

“just for that, maybe i shouldn’t have brought it.”

“oh, come on,” he fake cooed, watching as you pushed the bag of food towards him, but anton was quick to open it only to offer you the first bite. “have you eaten yet?”

“i can’t remember, i think i ate a few hours ago when hanni came over with breakfast before class.”

“yn, that was before 9, it’s 7, it’s been, like, ten hours,” anton’s eyes staring at you with a worrisome gaze, his right hand holding the fork, pushing it towards you, while his left hand hovered under it, making sure the food wouldn’t fall out.

“anton,” you complained, moving to push his hand away, but he didn’t budge. “i brought it for you.”

“yn,” he mocked your tone, lifting the fork away from your grasp, and pushing it towards your lips, which he caught himself staring at for a brief moment before flitting his gaze back up to your eyes. “i’m not eating until you do.”

with a sigh, you begrudgingly complied, anton taking a bite right after you, just as he had said.

the two of you sat in silence for a while, reveling in each other’s presence, both still feeling that tug of tension from your lack of contact. anton, seemingly the most on edge, kept darting his gaze from you to the table in front of him, something urging him to say something, anything, but he was afraid.

the boy waited until you had finished your last bite before dropping his fork with a sigh, thinking of anything to say to you, before the worst words came out of his mouth. “so what’s up with you?”

of course, he had to ask that, intensifying the tension between the two of you. it had to be the dumbest thing he could’ve used to start a conversation with, the words only reminding you both of the game of ignorance anton was playing this past week. yet, feeling bad already that you were the one to initiate the break in distance between the two of you, and that you were already worried he was upset with you, he wanted to make sure he’d fully engage himself and his attention to just you— not that he doesn’t already do that. yet, the minute he spoke that simple question, the next minute he wished he could take it back.

“not much, i’ve been so busy with finishing these two projects, i feel like i’m going insane.” you quickly stole a bite of anton’s food, the boy side-eyeing you before shoving your prying hand away. “well, not fully insane yet, thanks to taeyoung. talking about my project, i was actually going to ask you—“

“oh, right. you’re working with taeyoung, i didn’t know you guys were that close.” what the fuck. anton mentally slapped himself for speaking without thinking, his tone carrying hints of sarcasm, letting his close-to-bursting thoughts out, immediately cutting your previous sentence off.

“yeah, i don’t know, it just happened? i mean, we always had classes together, and we have so much in common, which is crazy, but we never talked— well, not until we ran into each other at the store.”

unsure if he was triggered by the mere mention of taeyoung, or if he let the boys get to his head, anton dead-panned. “okay, so you guys are getting even more closer, like progressing your relationship, then.”

i need to shut the fuck up.

taken aback by his tone, void of any emotion except the hints of sarcasm in it, you let out a dry laugh. “where did you even get that from?”

“come on, yn. your relationships always start off like this— and i’m not saying this happens with every guy you talk to— but you’re always too nice to everyone, like you jump at any opportunity to get to know people, and it doesn’t help that taeyoung likes you.”

what the fuck.

“who even said i’m looking for a relationship with him? i mean, we’re literally working on a project together, plus i’ve only known him for a week, i don’t even connect with him on a deeper level like i do with y— you know, like how i would want to connect if i ever got that far into a relationship.”

“look, i’m just saying, you jump into these without even thinking— like yes, you do see the red flags when they pop up, but you’re always too nice to these guys no matter how they treat you, and then they end up only seeing you as a friend.”

“why do you always get so invested whenever i start talking to a guy, it’s not like i do that with you, clearly.”

anton turned to you sharply, “oh, i’m so sorry that i’m worried for you.”

“worried about what?” you cried out. “i get being worried, but you don’t need to talk down about every guy that shows interest in me, i never did that with you, and look what happened to you.”

“okay, so now you’re turning this on me? because if i remember correctly you weren’t too fond of my past relationships either.”

“well, yeah, you’re coming at me for my relationship choices for no reason at all, when i wasn’t the one with someone who controlled my every move.”

“okay, and? that was one bad relationship,” anton shrugged, his shoulders tense at the sight of you mentioning his ex. “what about jinsik?”

“what about him?”

“despite how nice of a guy he was, it seemed like, at first jinsik was just using you to distract himself from his ex.”

“okay, well, so was i.”

“that’s bullshit, yn.” anton scoffed. “you weren’t even hung up over anyone like he was.”

your mind was racing, your heart beating faster than ever. you wanted to speak it out, but you didn’t, afraid that if you did, you’d ruin the entire friendship you had built up with anton. truth be told, you were using jinsik to distract yourself in the beginning. hell, you were sure you used any opportunity to talk to any other guy as a distraction. to distract yourself from anton’s presence— or lack of presence, seeing as, even then, he resulted in ignoring you.

though, there was more of a reason to anton’s absence, that being his ex-girlfriend, the same girl who had made it her mission to monitor who anton talked to, going far to the point where the boys were barely allowed to talk to him. yet, excluding this, there was always some foreign factor that irked you about their relationship. maybe it was the fact that he was quick to drop you and everything related to you, or maybe, as ricky had shouted into your ears one night while shaking your shoulders, it was jealousy. but you would never admit it— if it even was that.

“so is this the story that you cooked up about mine and jinsik’s relationship that you inputted into my friends’ minds? and, i don’t mind that you told the rest of them because they wouldn’t budge until they knew what was happening, but it’s the fact that you lied about it, telling them that he was shitty throughout the whole thing? that he ended things badly? because you of all people know it didn’t go like that, you were the only person who knew the whole scope because you’re the only person i could let in to see me vulnerable.”

anton paused. of course he knew the complete and true story to what happened between you and jinsik, he was there when you two ended things. the first thing you did was visit anton, hoping to distract yourself just by being in his presence, but he’s known you for 20 years, he could see right past your act, and you couldn’t bottle it up much longer.

then, why did he exaggerate the story so much in his head? he knew you both had ended things mutually, despite jinsik being the one to initiate it, that you both didn’t feel a deeper connection with each other far past when you guys started talking. and it’s not that jinsik was a bad guy, in fact he was the opposite, he treated you with everything you deserved, anton saw it. he saw the way you two looked at each other, the way you leaned towards each other to whisper your conversations, the way he would speed walk to catch up to you in the hallways, smoothly intertwining your fingers together before bringing your joint hands together and kissing your knuckles, all while looking anywhere but at you, knowing he’d get embarrassed.

holy shit.

it was like anton was solving one of those one thousand pieced-puzzles and finally found that one missing piece to finish it, which was probably hiding underneath the box.

that was the reason why he had noticed every small thing about you, especially when it came down to your relationships. why his senses seemed to reach its peak whenever he saw you with someone else, everything else in his surroundings becoming a blur. why he always had— and failed to fight— the urge to find something bad about the people you chose to involve yourself with, convincing himself that they weren’t good enough for you. and the reason why he couldn't get himself to find a deeper connection with anyone else.

he liked you. he likes you. anton lee had fallen victim to the falling for your best friend crap that he swore would only happen in the movies, or those stupid romance books you read— of course, you didn’t know he read all the ones you talked about, let alone how closely he would listen to you talk about them.

“i . . .” anton trailed, unsure of what to say or how to respond to you, afraid that anything he would say would worsen matters.

option one: fuck it and confess or option two: completely fuck it up.

“okay, so maybe i did see it from an exaggerated point of view,” option two: completely fuck it up. “but, to be fair, maybe i was just a bit . . . protective and concerned, so the lines between mutual break-up and horrible break-up were blurred.”

you shook your head slightly at anton trying to beat around his true reasoning, you never even wanted to confront him on the fact that he had stretched out the story of what happened between you and jinsik. yet, learning this yesterday on top of anton’s sudden spiteful attitude towards your relationship choices pushed you to pry into his reasoning more, a part of you knowing there was more on his mind that he wasn’t telling you. “still, there had to be some reason to that.”

anton immediately froze, his lips shut tightly together, he knew he couldn’t say it, even if this was a chance, he wasn’t willing to take it. oh, i was just jealous that you were with some guy that wasn’t me, no big deal!

only being answered by his silence and wandering eyes, prying into yours which were glossed up, overwhelmed with the entirety of the situation, you broke the silence with a deep sigh. you stood up, avoiding all eye contact with anton, and gathered all your things together before making a move for the front door. you felt like the two of you were playing some sort of mind game, driven by the lack of communication on both ends of your emotions, both of you holding back from speaking the truth.

“i should go,” you spoke out coarsely, slowly walking backwards to the door before turning to it. “you know, let you rest, plus, i need to get up early in the morning.” lie.

“yn,” anton whispered out, slowly standing up. you, idiot, just say it. tell her to stay, explain everything.

“no, it’s fine, i don’t want this to escalate, we’re just both overwhelmed, we’re fine,” you turned back to him briefly before walking to the front door, swiftly turning the handle, and shutting the door with a soft thud.

watching you walk out the door, anton cursed to himself, sitting back down onto his couch, his head in his hands. he hated this. he hated how right you were. he hated how you handled the situation. he hated how you stopped it before it got worse. he hated that he liked you.

but most of all, he hated how, despite how much he could confide in you for all these years, he couldn’t express his newly realized feelings for you.

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author’s note・❥・ @ddieumi ur super duper funny drama 😊😊😊 also guys sorry this took so long & it’s still bad bc i cannot write arguments oops

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