#Ego Death

[brittmarihaxoxo-blog]

[amandapalmer]

[unconditionallove3]

Unknown

[dazeygurl]

The sculptor, after finding the most minimal imperfection in her work, destroys it.

[the-muppet-joker]

dick deep in the kermit plushie

and you're mupping me out

is it catholic now?

This made me feel a flicker of hope... perhaps I can regain my old self and begin anew... Athena has arranged to meet with me. She has rejected witchcraft but has agreed to tap into her former abilities for my sake. I do not know what she stands to gain from this. I am not sure if I care. I just want to be myself again. I am so tired of being empty and apathetic. I am so tired of being bald

[schizopostguy]

we are corrupted with the mark of the beast. we shall perish for submission to the beast

“And it was given unto him [the false prophet] to give breath to it […], that the image of the beast [Satan] should both speak, and cause that as many as should not worship the image of the beast should be killed. And he causeth all, the small and the great, and the rich and the poor, and the free and the bond, that there be given them a mark on their right hand, or upon their forehead; and that no man should be able to buy or to sell, save he that hath the mark, [even] the name of the beast or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. He that hath understanding, let him count the number of the beast; for it is the number of a man: and his number is Six hundred and sixty and six.” Revelation 13:15-18

“And the smoke of their torment will rise for ever and ever. There will be no rest day or night for those who worship the beast and its image, or for anyone who receives the mark of its name.” Revelation 14:11

[dirtbag-dyke-hypnotist]

ego death and idenity deleteion and leaving someone a mindless husk of their former self <33333

[yaseraphine]

2024, the year I lost my crown.

Pluto in aquarius / Sun / Ego / Leo stellium / Ego death / Karma

I will say it loudly and proudly : In 2024, I entered my flop era (and it set me free)

This post will sum up the major lessons I learned this year through the prism of astrology.

INTRODUCTION - This post is a post I was looking forward to sharing for a while. 2024 seemed to have been a crazy year for a lot of people. Mine could be summed up by “emotional release” or the release of a karmic emotional cycle as well as connecting with my inner child. This year was charged with deep epiphanies about my childhood, which I realized I romanticized and erased key moments from my memory. Realizations came in waves always accompanied with the identification of intense deep seated insecurities and fears that stemmed from my childhood and the way I was nurtured. All of those intense and hidden emotions bubbling up to the surface together made this year really emotionnally charged with negative emotions. This eventually unwillingly forced me to neglect superficial aspects of life, such as appearance and charisma. I was slow, insecure, tired all the time, felt like sh*t all the time, lost drive. You could say that, basically, in chronically online terms, In 2024, I just entered my flop era.

This made me realize the extent of our society's obsession with glowing up, being the best version of ourselves at all times, pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone. Entering our so-called “bad bitch” era, focusing on self-care, being the best, having people admiring us, standing out, being that b, making people do a double take on us,etc... Most of our life is spent relentlessly  trying to be unique, appearing at the top of our game. We always aspire and desire to appear and seem , but we never just are. 

Capitalism has its ways of trapping us into a vicious cycle of superficial constant change and improvement. Like it creates new problems to solve for the mere goal of selling a new product to us, it creates a weird transactional and selfish sense of self, where we almost aspire to be alienated from the community and stand out. 

I decided to share this post as a reminder, in the sea of “how to glow up in 2025” videos and posts, that, sometimes, divine timing has its ways and it prevents us from shining the way we want to. Not every year is a year to glow up, you cannot be at the top of your game all the time. Like during the reign of a Queen or King, your empire will have an apogee, but also a decline. Your power and influence over your empire will always fluctuate, and you will only get probably one period of apogee, followed by a pretty intense empire decline. Despite going through all of this, something will always remain and that is faith. The faith you have in yourself, in the future, maybe even in God or a Higher Power. The faith that is deep inside yourself and that guides and helps you to push through even if you’re at your lowest.

This issue behind this obsession with “glowing up”, and all the external validation that comes with it and avoiding “flopping” at all costs, is what led me to go insane and completely give up this year.

Start of college : a beautifully humbling experience

-> from the top grader to a “mid” grader, an average student

-> highly political place 

-> Politicians and rulers : ruled by Leo BUT political parties, independent parties, ideology : ruled by Aquarius

-> I started to not only take interest in my own endeavors but also the country’s / humanity’s condition

-> I attended riots and protests multiple times, even during exams seasons

-> I assisted to GM’s hosted by students there to protect students’ rights but also for Gaza (GMs = General Meetings)

-> I read books about feminism, learned about communism and just politics in general

-> Unlearned a lot of myths surrounding the working class, rape culture, cultural appropriation, ..

-> Made new friends quite different from the ones I had in High school > anarchists, feminists, really woke people.

Why did all those changes occur ? 

SR Chart of the year 2023-24 : North Node in the 11th  house > letting go of ego and individuality to embrace community

Lilith in the 9th house transit : with all this new knowledge, I literally felt like my brain was being rewired. All the old thought patterns and life limiting beliefs I have been clinging to all chattered, bits per bits. Of course, I started that shadow work way before I got that Transit HOWEVER this transit did boost the process of getting rid of those limiting beliefs.

Gemini rising > my 7th house sign, my shadow, was my rising that year. I have to say the year prior to this year prepared me REALLY well to deal with it since, that year, I became friends and hung out with a bunch of people with gemini stelliums (i genuinely don't know how I survived tbh)

North node return -> events that pushed me to get out of my comfort zone

Chiron in the 9th house transit : my natural ability and talent to think abstractly got tested by this transit. The more theory I learned, the foggier my mind got. I kind of felt like the more times passed, the dumber I got. Which, I know, sounds crazy. But my comfort zone of having philosophical thoughts, disconnecting from my direct environment, this sagittarian hyper-independence (and ego..) became uncomfortable to embody and I felt a sense of loss every time I was ought to have abstract ideas and see the bigger picture. My natural intellectual talents “decreased” and I had no choice but to ask for help and interact with other students to understand certain concepts (so becoming the student even though it’s not comfortable to me). Along with my North node return in the 3rd house (my natal placement), this pushed me to trust other people’s knowledge and experience and learn from them. To show up daily, interact with people from all walks of life and not think to myself before doing so that “there is no point anyway to talk to them it’s useless/ a waste of time / we’re too different” or whatever bullshit excuses my ego would create to prevent myself from socialising

"Let them eat cake"

My obsessive desire to be perfect and to handle everything by myself got too far. I wanted to look my best every single day, but, by the second semester I just couldn't keep up. My timetable was heavier, my classes less interesting and even harder. But, what truly pushed me, or more so forced me to change, was my final exams results of the first semester. In high school, I did not have to study much to excel. To be a top grader, better than everyone else was easy for me, it was a routine. I was never surprised by my grades because I knew I topped as usual. However, going with this mentality/ belief for those exams was what slapped me right back to reality. My grades were bad. When I saw them, my heart shrinked, I was completely shocked. I did not expect much to be fair, but I thought it was going to be okay. Oh boy, it clearly WASN’T. And what made it worse was the people around me, who did not seem to take school as seriously, who consistently skipped classes, who cheated and lied for homework. These people, these people that I consistently judged as immoral, those people that I despised so much , THOSE, they got better grades than me. This made me go CRAZY. I cried for days on end, I couldn’t go to classes because of how badly I felt. This was the final straw for me : what is the point of being such a straight, invested person who came to classes even when I was sick, who always looked clean and hydrated. A perfect student with a perfect attitude. An independent student who helped her classmates. A perfect student who gets exploited by a system where cheaters and liars pass just as well, if not better, and get complimented as much. I realized how much pent up rage I had inside of me. I wasn’t just sad or disappointed, I was deeply disgusted. 

Leo stellium, Sun in Cancer conjunct Saturn, Pluto and Chiron in the first house and 9th house south node : unrealistic standards, lack mindset, low self-confidence, strong ego , scared of being bad at something, of being the worst, self-loathing, “there is no point in doing that anyway” , “i am not like them anyway there’s no need for me to go to this event” : 

As someone with a Leo stellium, I never realized how strict I was to myself. Only people around me could see it, but, because of how headstrong I am, I thought they just didn’t have enough standards. The thing is, I couldn’t see how perfect a lot of things in my life were because I was only fixated on what I lacked. I only focused on the defaults, the problems, the parts I wasn’t good enough in. And even the vocal and direct feedback of people wasn’t enough for me to believe I was just fine, maybe even great. And while I always focused on the parts I have failed in, I also had this unrealistic expectation that I needed to have a neutral, linear emotional life. In my head, it was like : I had a period/ period of emotional disturbances now I cannot have one again, or at least not as intense. It’s simply impossible. Now I used all my “jokers”, cards , I have no choice but to only go higher. This strange way of thinking was what made me only put positive/confident songs on my spotify playlists and avoid any songs that expressed “negative” emotions, outside of anger and rebellion. You could say it's a good thing in a way because I did my best to lift my head up. I knew how music affected my mood so I adapted my playlists accordingly. The thing is, whenever I was feeling anything other than confidence or anger, I did everything in my power to dismiss it. I obsessed over avoiding feeling low because in that state, no one will like me. People will see me in a vulnerable state and it’s too embarrassing. People have to admire me, compliment me, heck just like me at least. But if I’m not on top of my game, they will realize I am like them. I am part of the “plebs”. I have to be a queen, a princess, not a goddamn peasant! (really harsh wording, I know, but it felt like that looking back). I can’t. I just can’t. ... Unfortunately, trying to desesperately keep up with my reponsabilities as a Queen, not caring much for people as they were mere peasants who had nothing to do with me, is what led me right into my empire's decline.. Up in my fragile papermade castle, seating on my throne, I truly always felt so lonely...

The last straw  : getting rid of the lion’s mane

I shaved my head. Crazy but I did. By myself. A monday afternoon, 3 days before halloween. Right in the middle of the sinister season of the Scorpio : I shaved my head. I shaved my long, luscious and golden curly hair. This mane that held all those limiting beliefs and toxic standards. My hair was my signature look, one of the first things people noticed about me. One of the first things people complimented me about. “Look at those beautiful curly hair ! I wish I had hair like you!” “They look so healthy omg!”. All this external validation was like a drug to me, therefore, I never DARED to even trim it. Yeah. Looking back, I was crazy for that.

Sr for the year 2024-25 + Pluto in Capricorn last turn around : my experience

SR Chart 2024-25 : Virgo rising with the chart ruler Mercury in Leo in the 12th house.

Pretty gloomy and bleak period. I was feeling quite depressed to be fully honest. I started the new school year with every symptoms of depression, exept the su*c*dal thoughts. I was slow, my body was heavier yet I lost weight. I moved slower, thought slower, slept more, was always tired, taking a shower, doing the dishes, eating and every other simple daily task was a burden, harder than usual. My solar leonine energy, my vitality all disappeared without me realizing it. I had low self confidence, didn’t get ready in the morning, and stopped feeling any sense of pleasure. I was empty, crying on the train to my campus. The last time I felt like this, it was in 2018, I was 13, depressed and entering the darkest phase of my Dark Night of the Soul.

Guess what, I am Not A Robot

You've been acting awful tough lately

Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately

But inside you're just a little baby, oh

It's okay to say you've got a weak spot

You don't always have to be on top

Better to be hated than loved, loved, loved

For what you're not

You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable

You are not a robot

You're lovable, so lovable

But you're just troubled

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Once again, I had no other way but to ask for help. I went to see a doctor after years of avoiding it. I confessed a lot of things to my mom with whom I always had/have a really distant and tense relationship. Our conversations were really eye opening for the both of us. I went to see a therapist, and I am still looking for one. I didn’t have enough energy to attend class (I live 1h15/1H30 away from my campus.. so my 8 am classes were awful, especially since not attending is a risk to failing in that subject.. I was in a really problematic period.) But, I met a friend, an Aquarius sun and rising student who helped me throughout all of this. She was the contrary of me in many ways : really social, open and relied on other people. easily opened up to others. She didn’t have those perfectionistic obsessive thoughts. She trusted people, had a bunch of friends, and didn't overthink every single one of her interactions. She quickly became the air that tempered down my fire, which was burning myself out. My ego was killing me and my body (symptoms of depression) was warning me. I couldn’t control these feelings. I hadn't felt that depressed in a while. Like the type of depression that makes you stare at the wall in the morning, struggling to get out of bed.I thought it was behind me. I thought I was better than this. I thought “yes other people have depressions and struggle on a daily basis because of it and that’s okay but me ? I am over it. I had one at the beginning of my teenagehood. Now it can’t happen again, at least not actual depression.” But no, unfortunately for me, It did indeed happen. This showed me I was vulnerable, like every human being. I wasn’t immune to failing, to lose, to being bad, to being average, to needing help. I was simply a human being. I wasn’t a superior entity, a god flying above the rest of humanity.  I was just like them. Was I considered a bit weird for liking astrology, tarot and for listening to kpop ? Was I considered a bit weird for having Halloween as my favourite holiday ? Was I a bit edgy and had a certain sensitivity to anything grotesque, deadly, macabre, taboo ? Yes, I was all of that. But I am still a human being. I am just like other people in many ways, and even if I have more quirks than the average person It shouldn’t stop me from socialising. I need people and people need me, and, honestly, that is totally fine. Connecting with others is beautiful. People are here to help each other and share their experiences. That is the most beautiful part of existence : everyday frivolous conversations with people, interacting with them, exchanging ideas, sharing our daily frustrations and struggles, laughing. All of that is the simplicity I never expected I needed so badly. On the quest of finding this truth, I went faraway in the abstract realm of ideas only to realize that this truth was right in front of me since the beginning.

Life really wasn't as complicated as I made it to be.

A song that sums up this overall energy

Fear and Loathing - MARINA : "I'm done with tryin' to have it all and endin' up with not much at all"

Marina called Fear and Loathing a turning point in her life, after which she stopped being a "bitter person" and began to work with new people and try new things, even though she wrote the song alone in her bedroom in London. She placed the track last on Electra Heart because she views it as a "letting go" song.

In this process of losing myself, I am gaining something precious and that is the construction of a true authentic self-confidence. Not one that is out of fear : out of fear of being perceived like a loser, a compulsive fear of being like my 12 year old self, a scared and terrified pre-teen who hated herself, from the way she looked to her personality and non-existent talents.

I am finally starting to cultivate something solid, something that comes from a deep sense of self. 

[Verse 1]

I've lived a lot of different lives

Been different people many times

I live my life in bitterness

And fill my heart with emptiness

And now I see, I see it for the first time

There is no crime in being kind

Not everyone is out to screw you over

Maybe, yeah just maybe they just wanna get to know ya

And now the time is here

Baby, you don't have to live your life in fear

And the sky is clear, is clear of fear

[Chorus]

Don't wanna live in fear and loathing

I wanna feel like I am floating

Instead of constantly exploding

In fear and loathing

Albums that accompanied me during this period

Traumazine - Megan Thee Stallion

Something to Give Each Other - Troye Sivan 

All year long, I was drawn to artists with an 8th house North Node. Lately, I’ve been drawn to slower, more sensual and jazzy songs, which isn’t something I listen to usually. Songs about intimacy, vulnerability.

-> both artists have a North Node in the 8th house, which is currently the energy I am encouraged to embody as it is the North Node of my solar return for the year 2024-25.

EDIT 030425 : Troye sivan doesn't have a north node in the 8th house

This north node is all about trust and intimacy, sharing oneself, the deepest parts of ourselves with others, sharing our resources, accepting loss and not compulsively clinging onto things, and possessions.

Just in the title of Troye Sivan’s album, this 8th house aspect is instantly identified : we have something to share, to give to others, to exchange with someone. It hints at an exclusive exchange between two people.

Something to Give Each Other hits especially now. Traumazine, it was more in February/March, which was the period I was starting to release things and started healing, feeling deeply angry and sad at the same. (around the astrological new year). Since September/October, especially now and for the next few months if not year, I have been feeling more like Something to Give Each Other. Now more than ever I am discovering the beauty of connecting with others, sharing my true self, throwing myself fully in the unknown nature of human relationships. All of those things , despite being a Pluto dominant and 8th houser, truly terrified me for years  even though I obsessively and terribly craved it at the same time.

This album is my something to give you - a kiss on a dancefloor, a date turned into a weekend, a crush, a winter, a summer. Party after party, after party after after party. Heartbreak, freedom. Community, sisterhood, friendship. All that.

— Sivan describing the album

At the end of the day, we all have something to give to someone, and to give each other.

[funeral]

But if the unconscious can be recognized as a co-determining quantity along with the conscious, and if we can live in such a way that conscious and unconscious, or instinctive demands, are given recognition as far as possible, the centre of gravity of the total personality shifts its position. It ceases to be the ego, which is merely the centre of consciousness, and instead is located in a hypothetical point between the conscious and the unconscious, which might be called the self. If such a transposition succeeds, it results in doing away with participation mystique, and a personality develops that suffers only in the lower stories, so to speak, but in the upper stories is singularly detached from painful as well as joyful events.

Commentary by C.G. Jung, The Secret of the Golden Flower

[astrosouldivinity]

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑬𝒚𝒆: ⁺⋆🧿⋆⁺ (𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎)

𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑬𝒚𝒆 𝑻𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝑼𝒔𝒆:

1. 𝑬𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒈𝒚-𝑺𝒊𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 (➖)

• Recruiting Allies: They recruit other people to help with undermining you, knowing they can't succeed alone.

• Obsessive Monitoring: They engage in gang-stalking behavior, fixating on you, plotting and praying on your downfall.

• Controlling Behavior: They nitpick and belittle you, trying to manipulate your emotions and provoke reactions.

• One-Sided Relationships: You invest your energy into them, but they offer nothing in return. Essentially, pouring into an empty cup, leaving you drained and feeling entitled to your energy.

• Deteriorating Health: Their influence can manifest in negative effects on your well-being, leading to visible changes such as decreased vitality, increased illness, and persistent brain fog.

2. 𝑬𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑴𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 👹

• Gaslighting: They make you question your reality through passive-aggressive tactics, engaging in psychological warfare that is truly diabolical. This involves throwing stones and hiding their hands, creating confusion that drives you to doubt your perceptions and feel like you’re going crazy.

• Isolation: Following a smear campaign, you may find yourself ostracized, leaving you vulnerable and unprotected. This isolation is even more distressing if you don’t fully understand what’s happening.

• Existential Neglect: They act as if you don’t exist, undermining your self-worth and causing you to doubt yourself. This behavior pushes you to seek their validation, aiming to disconnect you from your true self.

3. 𝑻𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒀𝒐𝒖 🪢

• Commitment to Misunderstanding: They are dedicated to misinterpreting you, and people who dislike you will always find faults, fueled by a relentless desire to undermine you.

• Projection: They impose their limiting perceptions on you, trying to box you into a version they can control.

• Stagnation: They resist your growth, attempting to keep you in a state where they had the most control over you, and project their own lack of evolution onto you.

4. 𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 🪬

1. Wear Protective Crystals: Utilize stones such as black tourmaline, obsidian, and smoky quartz. Wear evil eye jewelry, and incorporate protective practices like spell jars, mantras, and visualization techniques.

• I create evil eye-themed jewelry, crystal jewelry, and spell jars, which will be available for purchase soon. 💟

• 𝚂𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝙹𝚊𝚛𝚜 🌱🫙

2. Pray for Protection: If necessary, consider return-to-sender or freeze spells. However, these are most effective when you know the source of the negativity. Identifying the evil eye source can be challenging, especially in omnipresent situations.

• 𝚁𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚂𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛/𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚣𝚎 𝚂𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚕

3. Practice Energetic Detachment: Employ the "grey rock" method—remain unresponsive and stoic. By becoming an emotionless force, you deprive them of the energy they seek to access.

4. Embrace Your Inner Power: Recognize that they are sending negative energy towards you. Channel that energy back to them, transmuting it into your own strength. Remember, these individuals are ultimately weak; their attempts to bring you down are driven by a desire to feel powerful and in control.

𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 1

𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 2

𝚃𝚒𝚙 𝙹𝚊𝚛 🫙🙏🏿

𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

𝙽𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚣𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚍. 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝: @𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 🖤

*✧🧿 *✧･ﾟ🧿✧･ﾟ🧿 *✧･ﾟ🧿✧･ﾟ🧿 *✧･ﾟ🧿✧*

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚕 𝚎𝚢𝚎. 𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚒�� 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎, 𝚊𝚜 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜. 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏, 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙. 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎; 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 𝚠𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚢. 😓

©𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚁𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚁𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚍.

[thenaturalfriends]

Little Alex Horne is appearing on the upcoming Jazz Emu visual album Ego Death!

Excellent and exciting news for the overlap between TM and Emu fans. ❤️

[psykopaths]

Mishima : A Life in Four Chapters (1985)

Dir : Paul Schrader

[dazeygurl]

Break me down into nothing,

And resurrect me in Your own image

[sapphicmutt77]

CW: Ego/Identity Death! Continue with care!

Oh to be reset. Maybe even erased.

Imagine being taken by something beautiful, you're minding yourself, existing as you always have, and the next moment you're somewhere else. A basement, a garden, a quiet segment of forest, it doesn't matter. And she's there, she stands in front of you. Her eyes are as gentle as can be. You try to scream but she puts a finger to your lip.

"Shhh, it's okay pet, you're safe. I know how you've suffered." She plays with your hair, she leans in to kiss you on the cheek. You don't resist, you don't want to. "I'm here to make things much better~"

You feel something sharp penetrate the back of your neck. You feel it drain you, perhaps not physically, but you feel your grip on reality lessen moment by moment. Your memories are fading, at first a day, then a week, fragments disappearing moment by moment. Where did you go to school? I've forgotten. Who is your family? I don't have one.

"Don't worry pet, it'll all be over soon, you'll be able to start from zero, doesn't that sound lovely?"

It does sound lovely. So lovely. You choke back sobs for a moment, unable to tell if they are tears of joy or fear. You call out to the woman through tears.

"Yes Pet?" She says, her voice smooth as honey.

"Please... Hold me..."

Her arms wrap around you, squeezing you into a comfortable warm embrace. She pets your head, humming a gentle tune as your eyes flicker.

"Good night pet, it's time for you to rest."

Your eyes softly close.

When you awake, well, maybe not you, but you, she's there.

You don't know who she is. You don't know where you are. You don't know your name. It's scary. Everything is scary.

You curl up in a ball as you begin to sob, it's the only thing that makes sense. She comes over to you, and gently pets you. You look up to her with innocent eyes. She's so pretty.

She tells you your name, she tells you that she'll be your caretaker from now on. She tells you that she will love you to the fullest. She tells you that you'll never have to worry again. Even through the fog, you know she's telling the truth. Her earnest love sings through ever word. She offers you her hand. You reach for it with your shaky paw and hold it tight. She helps you up, your poor legs give out as you find them hard to use. She doesn't let you stumble for long as she lifts you into a princess carry. You nuzzle into the crook of her neck. She's so soft. After some minutes of walking and being carried, you hear a door creak open. A flurry of warmth floods over you.

"Welcome home pet~"

You feel your heart beat and your cheeks flush. A warm delight blossoms deep within you.

You smile.

You're home!

[hufflepuffsthunderdome]

Sometimes I reread my writing and a part of my brain that I hate really does think, “fuck I’m good”