#Ego Death

[amandapalmer]

[reachartwork]

first twine short story. about 7000 words across four somewhat minor branches.

reader beware: THIS IS A HORROR STORY. if you complain to me about the gross contents of a horror story i'm hitting you with a brick.

content warnings are in the tags of this post. if you want to go in unspoiled, just click the link. if you encounter any bugs, please let me know. if you enjoy the story and want to see more, please let me know. this is my first time putting anything this visceral out into the world so it would be nice to know if the people want more.

if you enjoyed the story enough to feel it's worth money, there's a "support this story" button on itch you can use, or you can donate to my medical bills and rent and such at https://paypal.me/bstdev. and if you enjoy it enough to share it with your friends, well, that'd just about make my day.

cheers. enjoy the blood.

[artofmaquenda]

The Trophy Hunter

Very proud of this piece and that I finally managed to finish it :) Most of my artworks just need the right time.

I guess my interpretation of 'Ego death' :)

Prints:  https://www.etsy.com/ArtofMaquenda/listing/1482634191

Funny thing a crown can do It makes one think they're better than you They think their circlet makes them God That they won't be burried beneath the sod So remind them with a blade or mace That they lack any divine grace. -ThePoetGoblin (on Twitter)

[sapphicmutt77]

CW: Ego/Identity Death! Continue with care!

Oh to be reset. Maybe even erased.

Imagine being taken by something beautiful, you're minding yourself, existing as you always have, and the next moment you're somewhere else. A basement, a garden, a quiet segment of forest, it doesn't matter. And she's there, she stands in front of you. Her eyes are as gentle as can be. You try to scream but she puts a finger to your lip.

"Shhh, it's okay pet, you're safe. I know how you've suffered." She plays with your hair, she leans in to kiss you on the cheek. You don't resist, you don't want to. "I'm here to make things much better~"

You feel something sharp penetrate the back of your neck. You feel it drain you, perhaps not physically, but you feel your grip on reality lessen moment by moment. Your memories are fading, at first a day, then a week, fragments disappearing moment by moment. Where did you go to school? I've forgotten. Who is your family? I don't have one.

"Don't worry pet, it'll all be over soon, you'll be able to start from zero, doesn't that sound lovely?"

It does sound lovely. So lovely. You choke back sobs for a moment, unable to tell if they are tears of joy or fear. You call out to the woman through tears.

"Yes Pet?" She says, her voice smooth as honey.

"Please... Hold me..."

Her arms wrap around you, squeezing you into a comfortable warm embrace. She pets your head, humming a gentle tune as your eyes flicker.

"Good night pet, it's time for you to rest."

Your eyes softly close.

When you awake, well, maybe not you, but you, she's there.

You don't know who she is. You don't know where you are. You don't know your name. It's scary. Everything is scary.

You curl up in a ball as you begin to sob, it's the only thing that makes sense. She comes over to you, and gently pets you. You look up to her with innocent eyes. She's so pretty.

She tells you your name, she tells you that she'll be your caretaker from now on. She tells you that she will love you to the fullest. She tells you that you'll never have to worry again. Even through the fog, you know she's telling the truth. Her earnest love sings through ever word. She offers you her hand. You reach for it with your shaky paw and hold it tight. She helps you up, your poor legs give out as you find them hard to use. She doesn't let you stumble for long as she lifts you into a princess carry. You nuzzle into the crook of her neck. She's so soft. After some minutes of walking and being carried, you hear a door creak open. A flurry of warmth floods over you.

"Welcome home pet~"

You feel your heart beat and your cheeks flush. A warm delight blossoms deep within you.

You smile.

You're home!

[psykopaths]

Mishima : A Life in Four Chapters (1985)

Dir : Paul Schrader

[aliengoddesss777]

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Facts about yoyrself

I have no self. I am a churning mass of caterpillars typing randomly as it squirms across the keyboard of a broken computer. When I metamorphose and fly away, the illusion will end.

In that respect I am no different from anyone else.

[pandoras-prison]

the two voices in my head

[grimfox]

root

i am of this world, not in it.

all the limits, from the edge

of my own skin to deathless endless,

are illusions, nothing's end is

ever what it seems.

we are not

the product of the seams, but

dreamers sleepless in a dream.

we are the seed, the branch, the leaves.

[worldbuildingwanderlust]

The void in which

We lose ourselves

Is where we find

Salvation

[graementality]

Adding to the AU where Heart gets locked in Apathy and Mind and Soul reform into Whole without him,,

I think Whole would experience a sort of Ego-death (permanent loss of attachment to a separate sense of self/complete loss of subjective self identity).

Ego is essentially your sense of self (which is more Soul than Heart but there is also an emotional relation to it)

I feel like without his emotions/Heart, Whole would be very apathetic (ironically), and almost heartless? As in, without his theoretical heart, he wouldn't be very sympathetic, and would push away the people in his life. Which is not that differant from original cccc Whole (and CJ in The Before especially, which I'm pretending is the same person storyline-wise) but obviously it would be alot more of a detrimental situation for all four of them and effectively spark a major depressive episode.

This would also be factored in: ( @paleduck0000 's thoughts on it)

So not just complete emotionless Whole, just, fucked the hell up and all over the place.

Soul would also be affected, since he's kind of a stripped down version of Whole, I feel like the state of Heart and Mind also effect him. So having Heart locked away, rotting in Apathy for so long- an entire loop most likely- he would get a little funky to say the least.

Plot wise, I feel like it would be really interesting to make Mind the one who eventually releases Heart. At first he would enjoy finally ruling alone with Soul and having his "enemy" officially out if the picture, but it would have its cost. Everything would go to shit eventually; Soul is incapacitated in some sense and the only way to save Whole is to set Heart free. So Mind, whether sincerely or reluctantly, releases Heart of his own accord.

Heart would probably be in almost a worse state than Soul/Whole, depending on the laws of the headspace and how I envision Apathy and its effects (which I have a pretty good idea of based on the other fics I've written). But yeah probably also half dead. Fun for everyone involved!

(I'll also definitely include cane-user Soul if I write this, and other little headcanons I've had over time)

That's all for now, I'll write this one day....eventually....maybe....

[selfhealingmoments]

[existennialmemes]

Life Hack:

Suffer insurmountable ego death, abscond into the forest, and become a moss covered cryptid.

[connectingwithsoul]

Souls don’t just recognise one another, they vibrate towards each other. @connectingwithsoul