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ravendruid · 7 months

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Be In My Eyes - Chapter 29

You can read the previous chapters here or on AO3. Happy belated Valentine's day <3 (I promise I didn't plan this!) Summary: Time to dress up for Keyleth's date with Vax.

The week rushed by like rapids, especially when, on Miresen morning, every single one of Keyleth’s teachers reminded their classes that the clock announcing finals had officially begun ticking. One month. Keyleth had one month to prepare for what she assumed would be the worst week of her college life. She could only hope her teachers took pity on the first years. By that evening, Keyleth had a meticulously developed study schedule, color-coded by class, to help her organize her time. Would she be able to keep up with it, though? She had to. The last thing she wanted was to fail a class and have to repeat it next year. She decided to try out the schedule that week, rotating between the library and the quiet apartment and inviting her roommates to study with her—which Vax’ildan almost always gladly accepted.

The exception happened in the middle of the week. Although the holiday itself wasn’t widely celebrated in Emon, the Night of Ascension was still a holiday for those who celebrated, so the University had given them the day off classes. That day, Keyleth, Percy and Pike decided to occupy a table at their favorite café, staving off the snow that fell outside with steaming cups of hot cocoa. She had asked the twins to join them, but Vax had explained to Keyleth, alone in his bedroom as he bundled up with the hoodie Keyleth loved so much and a thick woolen scarf that had seen better days, that he and Vex’ahlia had a tradition to pay homage to their mother during the holiday, so they would be going to the nearest temple to make an offering, and then go out for a meal and celebrate their memories of Elaina (Vax had finally shared his mother’s name with her). Keyleth pondered asking to join them and do the same for her mother, but she figured that it was something the twins preferred to stay between just them. Besides, neither she nor her mother were particularly given to deities.

But the week rushed by nonetheless, and on Folsen evening, when Keyleth opened the fridge and saw a container with freshly made soup and a sticky note from Vax (I hope this helps you stay warm), the girl was ready to put on a pair of fuzzy socks, her warmest pajama and curl into a ball on the armchair and read until her eyelids drooped. Alas, her dream was interrupted by footsteps walking down the corridor as Keyleth removed the steaming bowl from the microwave.

“Oh. Hi Kiki,” Vax greeted. He was wearing a new long-sleeve pajama shirt (black, as usual), a pair of black sweatpants, and his hair was braided away from his face—it was about time that he heed not only Vex’s but also Keyleth’s advice about braiding his hair before bed.

“Hi, Vax. Thank you for the soup,” Keyleth nodded in gratitude. She sat at the kitchen table and started to eat. Vax joined her, sitting on the chair in front of hers, elbows on the table and resting his chin on his hand.

“How were classes?”

“Exhausting.”

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Vax asked smugly. Keylth looked at him confused, then remembered they were going out… on a date. “Please don’t tell me you forgot about our date?” Vax asked, outraged, seeing the look of realization on her face.

“No... I—I’m sorry.” Keyleth apologized, embarrassed. Vax merely laughed and shook his head. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Oh. What should I wear?” Keyleth asked, trying to get any possible clue from him.

“Something comfortable and warm.” The answer didn’t reveal anything substantial.

“What time are we leaving?” Keyleth tried another route.

“Do you think eight is too early?” Keyleth shook her head. She was used to waking up early, even during the weekends, so it wouldn’t make a difference in her schedule. “Then, we need to leave the apartment at 8:30.”

“Why so early?” Keyleth asked, finishing her soup.

“It’s a bit far and we need to take transportation. It’s going to be a whole day thing, so you might want to clear your schedule.”

Somewhere so far away that they needed to take an early transportation, that would last the entire day, and that she needed to bring warm, comfortable clothes? Where the hell was Vax taking her? “Should I bring anything special? Food? Entertainment?” Keyleth pushed further.

“We can make some sandwiches and bring snacks for the day. Water, too. As for entertainment, that’s what I’m there for, right?” Vax winked. Keyleth blushed and giggled, covering her mouth with her hand.

“I’m sure you will,” She teased. Vax slapped the table softly and grabbed her empty bowl. Keyleth got to her feet, wanting to stop him, but he waved his hand at her in dismissal and washed her dishes for her. Keyleth couldn’t stop herself from biting her lip at how caring Vax was to her. He had made her dinner, kept her company while she ate—even though he looked like he had been ready to go to sleep—and washed her dishes afterward. I don’t deserve someone so good like him.

“You should go to sleep,” Vax said to her, wiping his hands on the towel. He approached Keyleth and kissed her forehead before he turned to the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning, Kiki,” he said and disappeared towards his bedroom. Keyleth stood in the kitchen, watching Vax walk away. Only when his bedroom door shut behind him did Keyleth release the longing sigh she had been holding and grabbed her bag to head to bed. Keyleth thought she was going to have trouble sleeping due to anxiety, so the faster she went to bed, the sooner she would fall asleep. However, Keyleth wasn’t expecting the fluttering of butterflies in her stomach, a sensation that seemed to calm her more than agitate her, so she fell asleep as soon as her head hit her pillow.

—

By the time Keyleth walked into the kitchen the next morning (her personal backpack open in front of her in preparation to get stuffed with snacks), Vax’ildan was already at the stove, stirring eggs and plopping two slices of bread in the toaster. On the island sat an evidently larger backpack—a camping backpack—seemingly full and ready to go. Keyleth stumbled on her feet, coming to an abrupt stop as she gawked at Vax’s bag, then at hers, so small in her hands. She didn’t have time to say anything because Vax was already smiling at her and greeting her.

“What’s that?” Keyleth asked, all manners forgotten.

“Our stuff for today.”

“That looks—”

“Heavy? Don’t worry. It’s mostly light items. I made a few sandwiches, packed snacks, water and a thermos with peppermint tea.” Vax said nonchalantly, dividing the eggs between two plates. “Don’t worry, I added a lot of honey to the tea,” He added, seeing Keyleth’s stunned face.

Vax set the plates with scrambled eggs and toast on the table and returned to grab two mugs of coffee. Keyleth finally set her backpack down—now completely useless—and sat at the table. They ate in silence, Keyleth avoiding looking at Vax too much, and then she left him to do the dishes while she returned to her bedroom to finish getting dressed.

They left the apartment at exactly 8:30—like Vax had planned—after Keyleth replaced her small backpack for her regular knitted crossbody purse with just her personal belongings. Since the sun was shining bright and warm in the clear, blue sky, Keyleth left her thickest jacket behind in exchange for a crochet cardigan with sunflowers covering a beige high-neck shirt and a crochet dark green skirt. She pondered wearing pants for a moment, but then she found a pair of thick winter tights, and her problem of wanting to look cute and fight off the cold was easily solved. Meanwhile, Vax was–well… Vax (still incredibly hot, as usual, nonetheless). He wore his regular black, ripped pants, leather jacket and boots. The only difference was that he had replaced his band and graphic t-shirt for a seemingly brand new plain black high-neck shirt, so tight that Keyleth had held her breath when she first saw him before he put on and buttoned his jacket.

They took a bus not far from campus, mostly filled with old ladies who gave the pair a weird look—which Keyleth knew was due to her overall sunshine personality, Vax’s dark and broody appearance and the camping backpack he carried—and they sat in the empty back, Vax setting the packed bag between his legs. They stayed in silence for a while, watching the city pass by slowly. People walked on the sidewalks, bundled up in their snow coats and scarves, couples held hands and stopped to watch the shop windows, and children threw balls and built snowmen in the park they passed by, much like what Keyleth and her friends had done a few weeks before, and which, eventually, led to her being in that empty bus, sitting so close to her crush—more than that, actually—that she could practically hear his heart beating in his chest.

“It’s such a nice day,” Keyleth said, more to herself than to him. Vax hummed. His hand found hers on her lap and he took it, intertwining his fingers with hers. Keyleth still looked out the window, now more to try to hide the blush in her cheeks at the gesture. Vax had been so touchy since last weekend… since he shared so much of his life with her. It was like he couldn’t bear to not touch Keyleth, as if her skin on his calmed him. Keyleth wasn’t complaining. She loved every touch, every chill down her spine, every kernel of warmth and softness that emanated from Vax, and she never wanted it to end.

“Is this the part where you kidnap me?” Keyleth asked twenty minutes later when the city landscape outside had given room to large fields and forests. They had officially been out of the city limits for five minutes, and she still didn’t know where Vax was taking her.

“What if it is?” Vax teased, wiggling his eyebrows and smiling mischievously at her.

“Then I regret to inform you that my father will not yield to any ransom requests. Unless you would like a chicken or two in exchange for giving me back.”

Vax snorted and brought her hands to his lips. He kissed each knuckle softly and then said, “I doubt your father wouldn’t give all the money in the world to have you back, Kiki.”

Keyleth wasn’t sure if the heat in her cheeks was because of his gesture of the implication that Vax knew her father loved her so much he would ruin his finances for her.

“Our exit is coming up,” Vax announced, releasing the grasp in her hand and getting to his feet. Keyleth followed him down the aisle, and when the bus stopped in the middle of nowhere, where the only sign of it being a bust stop was a single pole with a hanging sign, Vax gestured for Keyleth to descend before him, following her as he shouldered the backpack.

“Now I’m really concerned,” Keyleth said, looking around. They were surrounded by tall trees on a single road with practically no traffic. She had no idea where they were in regards to the city proper, but it was clear they were somewhere remote.

“Do you trust me?” Vax asked, extending his hand to her. Keyleth’s answer was weaving her fingers through his and walking by his side in silence.

During their short walk parallel to the road the bus had taken, Keyleth glanced sideways at Vax, who looked relaxed and smiled so brightly he could supply enough energy for a small town. His mood was contagious, and soon Keyleth found herself relaxing and smiling as well, walking hand-in-hand with him down the sidewalk and then up a smaller road.

“No way,” Keyleth exclaimed as they reached an ornate iron gate connected to rock pillars. Above it, high enough where a tall van could cross without touching it, was an iron sign that said Emon Botanical Gardens. Keyleth couldn’t hold her joy at the sight of it, and neither could Vax, apparently, because he was shaking with excitement at her reaction, grinning brightly at her, eyes shining like ambers.

Keyleth squealed in delight as they approached the portico, where a woman waited at the ticket booth. Vax stepped ahead of her and exchanged a few words with the woman that Keyleth couldn’t hear—although, from the look of it, they were familiar with each other—and then signaled her to the barriers that opened on their own accord.

“What?” Keyleth asked, surprised, crossing it behind Vax.

“Students don’t pay entrance,” Vax explained.

“Do you come here often?” Keyleth asked as he walked towards a large wooden board with the map of the park. She stopped abruptly in front of it, gaping with an open mouth at how large the area was.

“Vex and I came here often when we needed a break from the chaos of the city,” Vax explained, picking a pamphlet from the holder. “It’s really peaceful. Here,” He handed Keyleth the pamphlet. She opened it to see a smaller-scale map of the park on one side and short descriptions of what the park contained on the other side.

“This park is huge. We’re not going to be able to see it all today,” Keyleth pointed out, noting all the smaller flower gardens, the several ponds and fountains, the orchard and forests of different kinds of trees. “There’s a waterfall?” She asked, not really expecting an answer. “And a butterfly garden!” Her excitement turned up a notch if it was even possible. Keyleth loved butterflies.

“Where would you like to start?” Vax asked, smiling at her. Keyleth pointed at the greenhouse not far from there, and he nodded. He let her lead the way, even though he probably knew the garden so well that he didn’t need a map anymore.

The greenhouse spawned over a long distance, covering plants from all regions in Exandria, from flowering cacti of the Marquesian deserts to blooming flowers of the Zemni Fields and even a few darker, mysterious flora from the distant lands of Xhorhas. No matter where Keyleth looked, she was welcomed with fragrant scents, a rainbow of colors, and a whole new universe she wanted to explore until the end of her days. She took several minutes to photograph flowers and plants she had never seen before and write notes on the notebook app on her phone, setting up a mental note to return with her camera and a proper notebook. When Keyleth finally uncoiled from where she had been squatting for ten minutes, photographing and copying information from the small description sign next to a bloom of snowdrops, Vax coughed to get her attention. Keyleth’s head snapped in his direction. She had completely forgotten why and who she was there with, so a blush spread on her cheeks as she apologized to Vax bashfully.

“It’s okay. It’s adorable.” He brushed it off, holding out his hand for her to take. Keyleth grabbed it, looking at Vax inquisitively. “Let’s go. I have a surprise,” Vax said, pulling Keyleth with him.

They exited the greenhouse through a side door onto a gravel path. Keyleth’s excitement built up quickly once she saw the first signs pointing in the direction they were going, saying Butterfly House. She found it weird that the butterfly house would be open in the winter since she hadn’t read anything about it in the pamphlet, but maybe it was climate-controlled so they could have viewings year-round. However, Keyleth’s excitement and hope died a little when their path was closed by a barrier, where a note hung from the middle: “We regret to inform the butterfly house is closed until further notice.”

“Vax, what are you doing?” Keyleth asked as Vax transposed the barrier and held out his hand for her. “It’s closed.”

“I know. Trust me,” Vax said. Keyleth followed him down the last of the gravel path and then onto a smaller side path that led to the back of the building. She had no idea where Vax was taking her, but Keyleth trusted him with her life, so she followed as he squeezed her hand tighter in his grip.

“Hello there,” A man greeted the pair when they turned a corner. Keyleth came to an abrupt stop behind Vax, bumping against his back. Shit, we’re screwed, Keyleth thought, knowing they were trespassing.

“Hey!” Vax greeted the man back. He let go of Keyleth’s hand and dropped his backpack on the floor next to the door she realized the man was holding open. Vax then walked towards the man and hugged him tightly. Keyleth finally took a good look at him. He was smiling kindly at them, crow’s feet around his eyes. He seemed to be in his early forties, perhaps, with sun-dappled skin, wild and crazy-looking dark hair, and a black beard streaked with gray, neatly kept in two braids.

“Is this the lady I’ve been hearing so much about?” The man asked Vax, looking around his shoulder to Keyleth with an even fonder smile. Vax laughed and nodded. He extended his hand to call Keyleth over, wiggling his fingers.

“This is Keyleth,” Vax introduced when she laced her fingers with his. Up close, Keyleth could see the man’s glowing blue eyes and all the signs of someone who had a happy life, even if labored. “Keyleth,” Vax continued, pointing at the man, “This is Kerrek.”

“Kerr is fine,” The man said, extending his hand. Keyleth took it. The handshake was strong but soft at the same time as if Kerrek was holding back on her. His hands were calloused, and there was some dirt under his fingernails, confirming the hard labor Keyleth assumed he did.

“Nice to meet you, Kerr,” Keyleth said politely. Vax had never mentioned him, yet the man seemed to have heard about her. She tucked the information in a mental file to ask Vax later.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Vax asked, nodding at the building. The man nodded and replied with a wink, “Go ahead lovebirds.”

Keyleth blushed, but Vax chuckled. He looked at her nervously and pulled her inside the building with him, the door closing behind them. The temperature changed immediately, and Keyleth was forced to discard her cardigan with Vax’s leather jacket, leaving them on a bench by the door, and pulled the long sleeves of her shirt up to her elbows. She then followed Vax down a dimly lit hallway to a second door.

“Ready?” Vax asked her. Keyleth swallowed hard and nodded.

Keyleth wasn’t sure what she expected, but walking into a brightly lit, hot and humid jungle was not it. The roof was a domed glass that let the bright winter light in without any of the cold, and everywhere Keyleth looked was covered with trees and plants, vines and moss. Once again, she allowed Vax to guide her down the tiled path until they came to a rounded room fully enclosed in class. In the center, a stone bench acted as a barrier to flowers and greenery, and around them—

“Oh. My. Gods.” Keyleth whispered, still not believing what she was seeing.

Butterflies—dozens and dozens of butterflies—flew everywhere, from branch to branch, between flowers and vines, up on the glass ceiling and around the walls. Vax led Keyleth into the middle of the room with a soft hand on the small of her back, stopping by the stone bench. Keyleth spun slowly in place, noting every color, wing shape, and different type of butterfly.

“You might want to close your mouth before a butterfly flies in,” Vax teased. Keyleth snapped her mouth shut but didn’t look at him, still mesmerized by the display.

“Vax, this is—” She stopped herself. A small swarm of five butterflies dove to her and landed on her hair and outstretched arm. Keyleth swallowed a squeal of delight as she turned to face Vax and brought a beautiful blue-winged butterfly between them.

“That’s a morpho peleides,” Vax offered. Keyleth nodded, still awestruck.

“Their wings aren’t actually blue, but—”

“Iridescent, yes. It’s caused by a diffraction of the light from the—”

“Tiny scales on its wings.” Keyleth finished. She looked up at him, surprised that he knew about it.

“I’ve been coming here for a few years. I’ve learned a lot about them,” He explained coyly. Keyleth swallowed, feeling a wave of warmth flow down her body. The butterfly beat its wings and took off to a high branch. Keyleth followed it with her gaze.

“It’s beautiful,” She whispered, still looking at the emperor on the other side of the room.

“You’re beautiful, Keyleth,” Vax whispered back. She whipped her head back to him, only to realize he was so close to her that their breaths mingled with each other. Vax brought a hand up to cup her cheek and leaned in, making Keyleth’s stomach jump.

Oh gods, is this happening?

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. Yes. Yes! A million times, yes!

“Please—” She practically begged.

Time stopped, or maybe it was Keyleth’s heart that stopped. Something stopped, for sure. Keyleth’s eyes drifted closed, and she surrendered herself to the warmth of Vax’s hand on her face and the firm hold on her waist as his lips touched hers. The kiss started soft and tentative. As if Vax was scared. Keyleth’s hands slid up Vax’s chest to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened, full of longing and something else Keyleth’s brain could not decipher in that moment. Some time passed, although Keyleth couldn’t tell if it had been seconds, minutes, or days. But eventually, Vax broke the kiss, his piercing gaze on hers, assessing her. Keyleth smiled against his lips, willing her heart to stop beating so fast. Vax opened his mouth to say something, but Keyleth shushed him before he could utter a word by kissing him again.

Keyleth poured all the intensity of her need for Vax into the kiss. Although she had no idea what she was doing, she had read quite a few romance books, so she pulled all that knowledge off the pages and kissed Vax passionately. When her tongue brushed against his lip, Vax opened to allow her in, the hand on her face lowering to join the other on the small of her back, pulling her harder against him. Keyleth could feel every inch of Vax’s body, her tongue thoroughly exploring his mouth until it met his tongue and started a dance she didn’t know the steps for. Keyleth stopped leading, then, and started following Vax’s experienced instructions. The heat on her body was overpowering, but it was Keyleth’s happiness that screamed the loudest in her ears, together with the thrumming beating of her heart.

When they finally pulled apart—when Vax pulled apart—they were both panting, eyes wide as saucers fixed on each other, and smiling. Keyleth willed her lungs to work faster and reminded her heart to slow down, lest she pass out from sheer emotion. Her legs were trembling like reeds on a storm, and if it weren’t for Vax’s firm hold on her, Keyleth would surely fall to her knees in front of him.

“That was—” Vax tried, but his breath was still ragged. Keyleth chuckled and nodded, rubbing her nose against his. Their breaths were warm and sweet like a summer night, Vax’s kiss-swollen lips so, so inviting. Tempting. “Gods, Kiki. You’re—” Vax didn’t finish. He leaned his brow against Keyleth with closed eyes and breathed slowly. Keyleth did the same, following his lead once again. He smelled so good and felt so warm and cozy, just like home. “You’re going to be the death of me, Keyleth.”

“I’m sorry,” Keyleth giggled. Vax kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” She confessed.

“Me too.” Vax tugged at the fabric of her shirt on the small of her back, twisting and turning the hem between his fingers. Keyleth gave him a questioning look that made him swallow nervously. Finally, after taking a long breath that puffed against Keyleth’s lips, Vax said, “Kiki, you know I’m in love with you, right?”

Oh. Keyleth’s heart almost leaped out of her chest. It was one thing to feel the love Vax didn’t hide from her, and a completely different thing to hear him say it (like actually say it). Keyleth let her hands slide down from his shoulders and splay on his chest. The jack-rabbit beating of Vax’s heart on Keyleth’s palm made her smile softly as she spoke, “I know. And I–I think I feel the same way.”

“You think?” Vax asked. His tone wasn’t mocking but uncertain.

“I’m scared,” Keyleth admitted, at last, the feeling she had been trying to repress for a while. “I’ve never felt this way for anyone before and it’s so scary.”

“I know,” Vax replied. His thumbs rubbed tight, reassuring circles on Keyleth’s back.

“My dad was so devastated when my mom died. I—I‘ve never wanted to feel that, or worse… make someone feel like that. I–” Keyleth hesitated.

“Yes?”

“I never thought I would have what they had. I never thought someone was going to fall for me, or that I would fall for anyone. I promised myself when I was young that I would never fall in love and yet…”

Vax smiled. He rubbed the tip of his nose on Keyleth’s and said, “I understand completely. You know about my father. I don’t have the best examples of what a loving relationship is. I never thought I would ever find happiness in my life, much less something so pure as love. We don’t have to be in a relationship, Kiki, but if you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

“I don’t think I’m ready to be with someone… yet.”

“That’s okay. I’ll wait as long as it takes,” Vax brushed a strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear. Keyleth smiled fondly at him, basking in the feel of his touch, but her smile faltered as she asked him a question she had been dreading.

“And what if I’m never ready?” Knowing that Vax’s answer could mend or break their future was enough to send her spiraling, so Keyleth closed her fists on his shirt, keeping her aloft, keeping her mind steady and grounded.

“Then I’ll always be here as your friend. I’ll only take what you want to give, Kiki. Never more than that.”

“You would stay?” She asked, her voice wavering.

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere, Keeks.” Vax replied, kissing her forehead. Keyleth slumped into his embrace, sliding her arms under his armpits and holding tightly. She waited for the first signs of the imminent panic attack to retreat down to her stomach and vanish. Only then did she uncoil to her feet, releasing Vax completely, and smiled.

“Thank you for understanding.”

“You’re very important to me.” Vax pulled away, but instead of completely letting go of Keyleth, he twinned his fingers with hers and asked, “Are you ready to head back into the cold with me?”

Keyleth nodded and allowed him to pull her with him, retracing their steps to the back door, where they put their jackets back on and Vax slung his bag back on his shoulders. Kerr was still waiting outside, moving crates and boxes when they exited. He turned to Vax and Keyleth with a fond smile, dropped a box on the ground and walked to pat Vax’s back.

“Make sure you and your sister come over for dinner soon, will you? You’re welcome too, Keyleth.” Kerr added, turning to Keyleth.

“Oh. Thank you for the invitation.”

“I’ll talk to Stubby and let her know,” Vax replied.

“It was nice meeting you, Keyleth.” Kerr extended his hand. Keyleth took it again, shaking it softly with a smile.

“It was nice meeting you too.”

Vax and Keyleth spent the rest of the morning wandering through the multiple flower gardens, fountains and ponds, albeit sad-looking in the middle of the Winter. When the sun reached its apex in the sky, Vax took Keyleth by the hand down a secluded gravel path and into a small clearing of pine trees (the few trees that still had their canopies). Vax removed a thick blanket from the bag, spread it on the floor, and sat down, patting the ground between his legs for Keyleth.

“I should have known you were bringing picnic stuff,” Keyleth said. She sat between Vax’s legs facing him, her legs crossed between them. Vax took another blanket from the bag and set it on her lap, covering both of them.

“You think I would pass up the opportunity to have an outdoor meal with you?” He scoffed. Keyleth didn’t reply. She grabbed the thermos of tea he passed her and took a sip. It was sweet, just the way she loved it, and it warmed her from the inside out. Vax then grabbed two sandwiches and a bag of chips, and they ate while observing the nature and enjoying the quiet. They didn’t run into many people during their walks in the garden, which Keyleth could only assume was due to the cold weather and the fact that most of the plants were dead.

“We should come back in the spring,” She said after a while.

“I already planned on bringing you back.”

“So, what’s the story with Kerr? How do you know him?” Keyleth asked, passing Vax the thermos.

Vax took a sip of the tea, closed the bottle and set it by his side. He then lifted the blanket from his and Keyleth’s legs and gestured for her to turn around. Keyleth did, scooting and resting her back against his chest. Vax covered them again and wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his hands rest on her stomach, where he started rubbing circles with his thumbs. Keyleth basked in his warmth. She could never get enough of the feel of Vax’s arms draped safely around her.

“Do you remember what I told you about what happened with Vex?” He asked her. Keyleth nodded. She knew it was a difficult subject for him. “Well, after all that, Vex and I decided to leave Emon for a while. We found this garden. We lied and told them we were high school students, and they believed us. Mostly because we looked like high schoolers. We found this spot right here, secluded enough that no one could stroll into us, and we made it our place. We had a small tent big enough for us and Trinket.”

“One day, Kerr caught me after the park closed, but instead of calling the cops on us, he extended a helping hand. At first, he invited us to have dinner with him and his wife. Hot homemade meals were hard to come by at the time, and Vex was getting thinner every day, so I said yes. They heard our story, and just like you, they grew angry at our father. But most of all, they felt bad for us and wanted to help us.”

“That’s really nice of them,” Keyleth said. Vax nodded. He buried his cold nose in her neck, making her squeal.

“They asked us to stay with them until we came of age, but Vex and I… we had been living on our own for a while, and we—we might have been too proud to take such a huge offer. But we did accept a job offer to work here, and we enrolled back at the highschool, using Kerr’s home address as our location. We often went to Kerr’s for warm meals and never refused their invitation to stay on cold and rainy nights.”

“Kerr and his wife treated us like we were their own children. We finally caved in and moved in for our final year of highschool. They even motivated us to go to college and helped us apply for scholarships and everything. Their house is a home to us.”

“I’m glad you found them. I’m glad Kerr didn’t call the cops on you.” Keyleth said, turning her head to see Vax. She nuzzled her nose against his jaw, making Vax smile.

“I’m glad too. I don’t know if we would still be alive if it weren’t for Kerr.”

“I’m glad you are. It brought you here… to me.” Keyleth whispered and gave Vax a soft peck on the lips.

“Have I mentioned how beautiful you look today?” Vax nuzzled against Keyleth’s neck. She giggled and nodded in response. “Did you make your skirt?”

“I did. But my grandma made my cardigan.”

“They’re so pretty. You’re both very talented.”

“I’ll make you something one day,” Keyleth promised.

“Are you cold?” Vax asked, tightening his embrace.

“No. I’m never cold when I’m with you. You’re always so warm and cozy.”

“Hmm. Same. You’re like a ray of sunshine. You’re so happy and cheerful. It’s contagious sometimes.”

Keyleth thought about his words. People often said she was a ray of sunshine, that she lit up any room when she walked in, but Keyleth didn’t feel that way. She was happy. Keyleth did feel joy in life and enjoyed being around her friends and family. It was the moment she was left alone that Keyleth dreaded the most. When she was by herself with her thoughts, her fears and grief. She had witnessed a few episodes where Vax had preferred to be alone, where his mood was extra broody and grumpy. She understood that better than Vax probably thought.

“Kiki?” Vax called her. Keyleth turned sideways, buried her head in Vax’s chest and grabbed the jacket on his stomach. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Keyleth mumbled against his chest. Vax’s hands cradled the back of her head and he pressed a kiss to her hair. He stayed like that and waited until she finally spoke again. “I’m not as much of a ray of sunshine as people think I am. I also have bad moments—bad days, even.”

“I know. I’ve noticed your moods.”

“You have?” Keyleth asked, looking up. Vax nodded and caressed her hair down her back. “You must probably think I’m a fraud then.”

“You’re not a fraud, Kiki. Not everyone can be happy all day, every day. I know you try hard to hide the bad side, but you can trust us… you can certainly trust me. I want you to be yourself when you’re with me, even if that means you’re picking at the skin of your nails or chewing on your lip and the inside of your cheek. I won’t be bothered by your jumpy knee or your shuffling around on your seat.”

Oh shit. Vax knew all her fidgets. Was she really that obvious, or was he just very observant? Keyleth always tried to hide her anxiety in front of everyone, and she was almost sure that she did a good job at it, but she had always been more relaxed with Vax. She had always felt safe with him. Of all people, Vax would be the one to understand Keyleth’s faults the best.

As if he read her mind, Vax added, “You and I aren’t that different, Kiki. Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand.”

“I suppose I might have some of yours, too,” Keyleth admitted. It wasn’t for nothing that her father had made her see a professional when she hit puberty.

“And I have some of yours. It’s perfectly valid to have them both, and if someone ever gives you grief about it, tell me, and I’ll punch them.”

Keyleth snorted at the offer. Some of the weight on her chest lifted, but there was something heavy keeping her from being blissfully happy: finals. History proved that academic high-stress situations were not good for Keyleth. “I don’t think you can punch our professors or finals.”

“Ah. Is that what’s eating at you? Here I was, thinking you were freaking out because I’m extremely handsome, and I make your heart almost leap out of your chest.” Keyleth looked at Vax to see him smirking at her. Her face reddened in response. “You’re going to do great, Keeks. You’re smart, talented, and a great student. All our professors love you. If anything, you’re going to do so good that they will need to expand the grading system just to accommodate your knowledge.”

“You’re exaggerating, Vax. I’m not as smart as you or Pike. And I’m falling behind in Anatomy. You’ve seen my midterm grade.”

“Fine, the human body doesn’t agree with you. Does it matter? Are you in Biology for it or for plants, Keyleth? Didn’t you say you were going to drop Anatomy next year anyway?”

“Yes, but I still want to have a good grade,” Keyleth all but pouted at Vax. Couldn’t he understand the high expectations other people had on her? She had always been a top-of-the-class student in high school, and people expected her to maintain that or do better in college, never to go below their standards.

“Keyleth, love. You had a 16 in the midterm,” Vax grabbed her shoulders and looked at her earnestly. “All your assignments have been above 18–and yes, it counts even if I helped you. Even if you have another 16 in your final, you will still get at least a 17 at the end of the semester. I know it’s not as good as an 18 or a 19, but you are still in the top five students in Anatomy, and I know for a fact that you, miss I-will-not-rest-until-I-have-straight-20s, are the best student in your degree.”

When Vax put it like that, Keyleth had to concede to his logic. She knew that she would need a really bad grade on her final to drastically lower her final grade in Anatomy and the general average, as a consequence, but even though it was a low possibility, it wasn’t impossible.

“Fine.” Keyleth pushed Vax away and got up, straightening her skirt. “I guess you’re right.” She said and walked away from him. Keyleth didn’t need to turn her head to see the look of confusion on his face, but she still peeked and threw over her shoulder, “Let’s go see the waterfall… unless you’re done with our date?”

She laughed as Vax scrambled to his feet and packed everything inside the backpack. He was by Keyleth’s side in a matter of seconds, holding her hand and dragging her down the path. Keyleth giggled at his reinvigorated spirits, feeling slightly better herself, too. Vax was right, she knew that, and while she still had a hard time letting go of that particular anxiety, Keyleth knew she had in him a safe harbor.

“Vax?”

“Yes.” Vax looked at her expectantly, grinning from ear to ear.

“I might barge into your room this month to ask for reassurance. Is that okay?” Keyleth bit at her lip. Vax let go of her hand, only to wrap his arm around her shoulder and pull her to a stop. He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, giving Keyleth a soft, ghostly peck on the lips that made her want more, and said, “I can’t promise I’ll be decent, but my door will always be unlocked for you, Kiki.”

“Good,” Keyleth whispered against his lips. “I might come to collect some hugs then… even if you’re not–decent.”

The kiss was sensual and unhurried, filled with promises of more kisses to come, hugs to be given, and reassuring words to be whispered in the dark. By the time they arrived back at the apartment, lips red and kiss-swollen, the subject of finals was completely gone from Keyleth’s mind, instead filled with the scent of pine trees and snow and the wonderful time she spent with Vax in nature all day. A much needed-rest before the chaos.

#critical role #cr fic #vox machina #vaxleth #modern au #college au #be in my eyes #three notes about this chapter:#1. I don't know shit about plants and butterflies. So if something is wrong don't yell at me #but feel free to correct me (gently. I'm sensitive)#2. the grading scale I used is from 0-20 where 20 is the highest grade possible.#this is the grading scale I'm most familiar with #3. The butterfly area was inspired by animal crossing new horizon's butterfly section in the museum.#particularly the round room with the fountain.#Also by the time y'all read this I will probably have some news to share :P

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destinyc1020 · 1 month

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I agree that the unfollow could mean nothing but it's not because Tom was smiling on stage that it for sure means he absolutely loved every single thing about working for Jamie. Tom usually doesn't unfollow his past directors after working with them. He still follows bayona, Jon and even Doug Liman (and we know how much he hated Chaos Walking lol). So it could mean something, or anything, but I wouldn't say it's a reach to say he wants to just turn the page after r&j

It's clear Tom loved his cast and his cast loved him, but none of them ever talked about Working for Jamie. Jamie, beside the statement from the company at the beginning, didn't say anything for Fran Vogue cover (Tom did). He didn't post ANYTHING about R&J on his account beside the initial announcement (in comparison he made thank you posts dedicated for the cast and crew for all his other productions). And he is active, he posted about his new play with Tom Hiddleston, he clearly is an online. And he gave a couple interviews in the past couple weeks talking about his future plans, in which he didn't even talked not even once about R&J, but he did talk about his other past plays like Sunset. He just finished a sold out play of 3 months, it was a hot topic in the city for weeks starting one of the most popular young actors, but they didn't ask him about it ? naaag'h I doubt it, I think Jamie asked to not be asked about it, for whatever reason. I mean... the energy is not there you have to admit. If he's ignoring it to kinda put under the rug all the controversies and the criticism about his minima' style, It's cowardish if you ask me but🤷🏽‍♀️ 😅

Well, if you want to believe that there's some beef going on between Tom and Jamie, then go right ahead! 😅

Like I said, we don't see everything that is going on bts. Also, people can be not asked about certain projects for a variety of reasons, and it's not always due to something negative.

I usually tend to believe things when I see tangible evidence. Right now, all of the things you're mentioning could mean something, or they could just be coincidences?

I'm actually curious to know what Tom felt about this play and his experience with it. That might give us something more concrete and tangible to work with and we might be able to get more clues on what the general "vibe" was while working.

You all know me though, I don't usually just believe a bunch of rumors or "suspicions" unless there's actual evidence to back it up substantially.

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rjshepherd · 3 years

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4 Lords headcanons - Karl Heisenberg

Karl is my new favorite resident evil character. He’s just so unlike anything we’ve seen before in any of the other games. Ricardo irving MAYBE but he didn't quite hit the nail on the head with the dark humor and likeability. I saw a tweet from Al yang ( resident evil resistance’s director) who said that Karl and daniel fabron would be besties because they have the same style and interests and i am 10000% behind that. You all know how much I love daniel.

Anyway, here are some of my headcanons for Karl heisenberg. Long post under the cut.

So im getting this one out of the way first: i've been canoning karl as jewish since before the whole N*zi discourse started. No reason for this in particular besides the fact he’s german and he reminds me of my best friend who is also Jewish. It made my friend happy so I just decided to roll with it.

I don't think Karl is practicing, or that he follows a particular belief system. I doubt miranda would allow such things and he really strikes me more as an atheist, particularly after all he’s been through. It's mostly a heritage thing, something he might actually be interested in learning more about if given the chance.

Speaking of discourse, that necklace of his is just a trinket. It's not his or even a family heirloom, hence why it's blank. I canon that Karl likes to collect stuff from the junkyards or post war scrap yards around the village. When he was younger he often snuck out of the village to go exploring and brought back things he found to keep or repair, like Moreau’s television or the Half-track motorbike Ethan uses.

I imagine he found a large box of factory reject dog tags and just decided to take some. He strikes me as a “well I'll find a use for it” kind of man. When he got distracted by more important projects, he decided to just wear one. It went with his aesthetic after all.

Also that compass on his necklace is now completely non functional. Karl’s powers have ruined its magnets. He keeps it for aesthetic and sentimentality, yes but he also likes to use it to check his power levels, the faster it spins the stronger he’s getting.

Despite mostly collecting Junk that he can use or repair, Karl also likes to find intact things. He can be a bit like a magpie, taking things he just finds cool or aesthetically pleasing. He had a room much like Ariel from the little mermaid, filled with stuff from the outside world. Unfortunately, much like Ariel, his treasure trove was destroyed by Miranda when she discovered it. Thankfully though, she never tied it back to him. He’s sad that it’s all gone but is too afraid to start collecting again, lest it get destroyed once more.

His favorite things to collect are tokens from Germany. Things from the DDR, Metal figurines, war medals, pins and old money are his favorites but he also has a few old toys ( like train sets) and even has a piece of the Berlin wall in his collection.

He’s not fussed on war memorabilia. He has no use for it, prefering to take scrap leftovers so he can make something new from it.

He can't speak german unfortunately. Maybe a few words here and there but nothing substantial. He was able to speak it as a child, but since Miranda raised him to speak English, he lost more of his mother tongue the older he got. He can speak some basic romanian, mostly for communicating with people just outside the village or trading for scrap but he’s far from fluent.

He can , however, speak decent sign language.

Miranda was a terrible english teacher. I'm very surprised Karl doesnt have more of a stutter. As a child, when he spoke german, she would hit him and if he spoke english incorrectly, she would berate him in front of others.

Speaking of stutters, Karl has mostly grown out of his, but when he is tired, frustrated or nervous for whatever reason, it comes back .

He’s trying to teach himself german again as an adult but he has little time for it. His german books are gathering dust in some forgotten corner of the factory while he works on his plans for revenge.

In his very rare moments of free time , he can usually be found either reading, listening to LPs or tinkering. His favorite books are , unsurprisingly, Science fiction but he also likes crime novels as well as technical manuals.

Given that Karl enjoys collecting things, I believe he likes to create collectibles too. I can see him making a series of little metal sculptures to have around his factory. They're only small, he doesn't like to waste precious scrap on frivolous things.

Despite his family crest being based on a knight, Karl isn't fond of chess. He can play, but he just doesn't have the patience for it. Not to mention all the other lords take it far too seriously and are both sore losers and sore winners. Looking at you Alcina.

Additionally, Karl is a little uneasy around horses. When he was a child, one kicked at him. He only got a small scar from it but since then he hasn't been too fond of them. He is able to ride one but would rather walk if there's a choice.

We all know that in another world or another lifetime, Karl would have made an amazing performer. Maybe he would have had a youtube channel for showing off his creations, like man at arms .

He comes across as someone with a bombastic personality, someone who likes being the center of attention. Part of that is the lack of attention given to him as a child but more so his lack of self esteem. His confidence is all surface level; he fears rejection and is perhaps even more self conscious about what Miranda has done to him than Moreau, although he hides it better.

Behind closed doors he’s a very quiet introverted man. He prefers his own company and has gotten to the point where he even finds meetings with the lords draining. He's not shy like donna nor does he purposely lock himself away but if another lord came to his factory he would absolutely pretend not to be in.

Karl suffers from severe nightmares as a result of what Miranda has put him through. He often doesn't sleep for days at a time, only to collapse when the exhaustion becomes too much.

I know we all canon karl as a lycan and an outdoorsy type. I write him that way a lot because it's what people seem to like, but it's not actually how I envision him. To me, he’s sort of a stay inside type. He rarely leaves the factory and has little interest in hunting or survivalism or even in the lycans .

That’s not to say he’s bad at these things. He’s skilled at tracking, hunting and surviving off the land, but he would prefer to remain at his factory with electricity and indoor plumbing.

Speaking of hunting, Karl prefers not to use guns. Ammo is at a premium in the village, not to mention very loud. He is far more accurate and silent when just using magnet controlled knives or scrap to kill his targets. For bigger targets, or when he wants to make a statement, he’ll use his hammer but it is mostly for show.

He’s kind of a nerd to me. His background is in mechanical engineering, but by the time of re8 he’s branched out to electrical engineering and biomechanical engineering too. He’s a rough and tumble hands on kinda guy but he’s also surprisingly delicate when he needs to be, with an eye for detail and a genius mind.

I canon he has some medical training. I know he’s based on Dr Frankenstein but I very much doubt Karl has the patience or training of a medical doctor. I'm thinking more like EMT, First-aider or maybe a combat medic? I don't think he’s ever been to war or even ever enlisted, but it's possible someone from the village is a veteran and was able to pass on their knowledge to him.

Aside from the medical training, he is entirely self taught.

He really has little to do with the Lycan pack. They're too dumb for his purposes, too hard to organize and worse of all, loyal to Miranda. He can direct them, probably better than any of the other lords , but he tends to stay away from them unless he needs something to test his soldat against.

He rarely leaves the factory except for the above headcanon, lord meetings and getting parts for his experiments ( either scrap or dead bodies). He despises the cold of the village in winter and the insane amounts of pollen in the summer

I don't think Karl was ever fully brainwashed by Miranda. He is an incredibly stubborn individual and is skilled at pretending, charming and manipulating. I believe he had miranda fooled or at least they reached a point where he had certain freedoms or she didn't care to rein him in because she saw him as little threat. Alcina has never been fooled by his act.

His favorite food is anything from a german deli. He would love to go to the KaDeWe some day and try all of the deli’s there.

Karl has the biggest sweet tooth out of all the lords, even over donna who practically lives on cakes. He metabolises energy very quickly, particularly when he’s generating electricity himself for his experiments. Virtually all his favorite sweets are from Germany: black forest cake, gummy bears, Berliners , marzipan and stollen to name just a few

what else? Man loves his carbs, definitely the type of person to fill up on bread before a meal and take a few more rolls home with him for good measure.

He doesn't have a least favorite food to be honest. He’ll eat pretty much anything you put in front of him and always tells you how much he enjoyed his meal. I canon miranda used to starve her experiments as punishment, so he’s always grateful for food. I think he might turn his nose up at Liver however. It's not the taste or even the texture, but with its incredibly high iron content he swears he can feel it moving around in his stomach when he uses his magnet powers. Whether that's true or just psychosomatic is unknown.

Karl doesn't drink often but when he does, he drinks a lot in one go. He has a terrible habit of mixing beer and spirits and spending the rest of the week regretting his poor decisions. He likes German beer, obviously, as well as polish and russian vodka and the occasional drink of expensive whiskey. He really , really doesn't like jagermeister. He says it tastes like cough syrup left in the sun.

He’s sort of a sloppy drunk. Lots of singing and dancing on the villagers tables and getting carried away. One of the (many) reasons Alcina doesn't get on with him is that he lacks decorum when drinking and prefers to party or drink with others ( like the villagers) rather than have a “sophisticated” drink after dinner.

Alcina invited him to a wine tasting once, forgetting to mention you aren't actually meant to swallow the wine. Karl didn't get this memo and now feels quite nauseous when presented with red wine. Alcina had to throw out her favorite rug after he left.

Sexuality headcanon? Hmmm well much like the others, i don't hold a particular one as true. I tend to treat most of my characters as fluid so I can write them for anyone. If absolutely pressed i would say he's got some strong bi/pan vibes. He flirts shamelessly with anyone and everyone but the moment it actually goes anywhere or someone reciprocates he starts to malfunction and forgets how to talk or act like a human.

Karl has no love for any of the other lords. Looking at them and how brainwashed they still are makes him uncomfortable. That being said, he still feels a great deal of pity for them. I canon Donna was the last infected, I imagine Karl may have tried to prevent this without giving himself away to miranda. He carries a lot of guilt around for not being able to prevent another child becoming like him. Moreau disgusts him, both physically and morally but he still cant help but pity the creature he’s become. I hc Moreau used to be a doctor, an intelligent and respected man who actually gave a shit about the village. These days Karl finds it hard to look past his grotesque form and even more disgusting devotion to miranda.

As for alcina? In some way’s hes a little jealous of her. He hates that she got to live a normal life and still threw it away to come to the village. She’s still one of Miranda's playthings but she takes an absurd kind of pride in being their abuser's favorite that he just doesn't understand. He does pity her at the end of the day but that pity is buried under a lot of animosity and dislike.

When he was a bit younger, maybe a teenager, he had a habit of pulling his hat down over his face when embarrassed.

He’s a very fidgety person, although not as bad as daniela. He has plenty of fidget toys to play with while he works, sometimes they help him think or concentrate. Others are just to keep his hands occupied so he doesn't scratch at his scars.

Karl is very good with his hands, he always has something to keep them occupied. He likes to roll his own cigarettes and cigars. His favorite cigars are cuban, imported by the duke but he saves those for special occasions. He chain smokes regular cigarettes when he’s stressed but usually only smokes a few a day.

He’s ambidextrous, he writes with his right and does most other things with his left.

Like most of the lords, he's very good at art! He leans more towards sketching and sculptures than crafts like donna or painting like alcina. He’s also really good at sewing! Almost as good as donna! Mind you, he’s mostly sewing himself from the various cuts and scrapes he gets or stitching up dead bodies.

Karl was crystalised like Zoe Baker at some point in his life. Possibly as a punishment from Miranda, possibly when he first merged with the cadou. This resulted in his white/silver hair despite only being around 30 years old. Similarly, he was born with green eyes that have faded to blue/gold as a result of his crystallization.

His facial scars are from fighting with alcina but he has many more that we cant see, particularly across his back.

He can generate static shocks of his own will. He mostly uses this to zap people he doesn't like coughalcinacough. He gets power from thunderstorms but has difficulty with cold and damp conditions as they don't conduct very well.

Scent headcanon? I know people like these for some reason. Karl generally smells like oil and cigar smoke but that's sort of a given. When he’s been using his powers a lot he smells like ozone and damp and when he’s freshly washed he smells vaguely minty.

Animals really don't seem to like Karl. Maybe it’s his mischievous aura or mayne his magnet/ electric powers make their fur feel weird. Birds don't like him because he messes with their navigation and cows don't like him because as a child he liked to run through the fields and spook them. They have very long memories.

wow i absolutely have more but i had to take a step back and think "maybe you should keep some things a mystery". if i over elaborate on him there wont be any room for headcanons will there?

#Karl heisenberg #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #resident evil #karl heisenberg headcanons #karl headcanons #my headcanons #headcanons #my stuff #my writing

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bluealmondpie · 3 years

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hi it's me with the rarepairs

domestic akaken

post timeskip content

* soft. so soft. akaashi thinks kenma doesn't eat enough. kenma thinks he eats fine, and he snacks when he's gaming so the amount of calories he's taking is adequate. akaashi sighs, those snacks are not healthy snacks. he looks in disdain, and leaves the conversation there. later on, he buys some vegetable chips for kenma.

* akaashi doesn't have a good sleeping schedule. neither does kenma. yet the sleeping schedules still clash. they don't really mind tho - akaashi is too tired and will collapse even if the light is on. kenma needs absolute darkness to sleep, so they bought blackout curtains. the horrible sleeping schedule is great for video calls with hinata - kenma has them weekly, and akaashi is happy to see them interact (he thinks it's cute)

* hinata does borrow the guest room when he is in japan. sometimes kenma and hinata fall asleep playing games, cuddled up. akaashi takes photos, as blackmail. but also bc they really are very cute. it's not fair how his boyfriend looks better in the arms of another man. he sends the photos to oikawa. oikawa used to get mad, but the two have accepted that their boyfriends like to cuddle their best friends so let's all just appreciate the cuteness.

* speaking of games. kenma did try to teach akaashi about games. it didn't really work out well. akaashi liked games like stardew valley, but his work doesn't allow him to devote much time to games. recently he's been into visual novels, like coffee talk.

* they don't really cuddle.

* neither of them cook. kenma never learnt to make anything more substantial than instant noodles, miso soup and rice, while akaashi can cook, but he doesn't have the time to. he got some tips from osamu and often makes rice balls cos they're simple and easy to eat on the go. kenma will make rice, and akaashi will do the rest. most of the time, though, they order takeout or akaashi will bring something from the convenience store back.

* akaashi is gentle with kenma.

* kenma has mood swings, especially if he didn't do well at a game. akaashi will have to either buy him some food he likes, or ask him if he wants to video call hinata. somehow hinata is better at cheering kenma up. akaashi is used to this. hinata is better at cheering everyone up. besides, kenma asks bokuto to cheer him up, so it's fair.

* they share the same brand of coffee. akaashi buys it. they both like the same brand, but kenma isn't picky about his coffee. akaashi is.

* they sleep in the same bed, and use the same toiletries. akaashi again buys these, because kenma doesnt care for them. if left to his own devices, kenma probably would just buy the cheapest option. if he even steps out of the house.

* dates are at home. they order pizza and watch movies, criticising everything from acting to plot and set/cg.

* outside dates are rare, usually when hinata or bokuto has a match. bokuto plays in japan, so mostly bokuto's matches. hinata's matches become indoor dates. they tear apart the setter's strategy.

* they don't hold hands, or stand particularly close, or use nicknames. but you can tell they are a couple, somehow. it's the level of comfort between them, i think.

* a lot of people still think akaashi is dating bokuto. akaashi laughs it off. bokuto is far too much of a free spirit to be tethered down by a relationship.

* kuroo tho. had his heart broken. it took a while for them to start talking again. it helped after kuroo got together with daichi (courtesy of suga)

* suga was also the one who spurred kenma to ask akaashi out. that fellow cant stop sticking his nose into other people's relationships 😂

* sometimes kenma wonders what he brings to the relationship. akaashi does so much. akaashi points out that kenma pays for everything though. and his presence is enough for akaashi. akaashi can't explain the attraction, but he does everything like buying groceries and doing all those things as an expression of love, rather than obligation to the relationship. kenma understands this, but he feels guilty sometimes. he buys expensive stuff for akaashi, but akaashi doesn't like that. so kenma just goes back to making rice and miso soup. and making sure there's plenty of dough for akaashi to spend if he wants to. they both end up splurging on gifts for hinata and bokuto.

*******

requests open;

masterlist here (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

likes and reblogs appreciated! i'm so tired recently and i'm convinced it's just a mood thing. i stupidly got the covid jab on the first day of my period, so that's the side effects, doubled. i miss writing. i wrote this to kickstart the habit - hope i can sustain it hehe.

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cher-writes · 4 years

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Playground Love | Klaus Hargreeves X Reader (16+)

A/N: I've always felt like Klaus had a lot of selfish lovers at some point in his life. People who didn't really love him but his masochistic tendencies made him go back to them time and time again. This one-shot is kinda on the perspective of such a lover. Hopefully you'll enjoy.

Word count: 1.3k

CW: Insinuation of Self-harm, Suicide attempts, Substance use and Sex.

Art work by: @meamme1 , Thank you so much for letting me use your gorgeous piece!

Follow the artist's insta here (or search @meamme1 on insta).

Special thanks to my beautiful friend @crisis-of-joy for being my benevolent editor.

~Yet my hands are shaking

I feel my body remain,

Time's no matter, I'm on fire

On the playground, love~

It was hard to love Klaus. But you didn’t really love him, did you?

Let’s not discount your efforts. You tried at first; perfunctory, desultory, trivial tries. And maybe you did love him, in some of those moments when he blew cigarette smoke into your open mouth in the early hours of a July hell, or when he ardently kissed your cold feet warm in the late hours of a November void.

How could you not have loved him when he cleaned the vomit, spit and snot off your face with his bare hands after you drank a bit too much, not being able to bear the sheer helplessness of January rain?

When you took him in your tart mouth after days of him sweating and trembling for some humanly unknowable reason, under the window sill as the April dusk soaked through the lifeless buildings, how could he not have loved you too?

Maybe that’s what love is, those fleeting, inconsequential moments. But deep down you both knew that there was no love between the two of you. Those moments only stuck like leaves on a tree baring itself for the fast approaching winter.

You knew, and you pretended he did too.

He came and went as he pleased, habitually whimsical. Always looking a bit different than the time before, or as much as you could care to remember. His face faded from your memory every time he left. You let him ‘cause there was no reason for you to keep him on a leash.

You two weren’t close like that.

He talked. He told you all kinds of things about himself, most of which you didn’t listen to and the parts that you did, you don’t remember. Maybe that’s why he talked to you so much, he sensed your absence.

Although you were merciful to him, never really telling him anything substantial about yourself. You didn’t need to, there was no reason to.

You two weren’t close like that.

But he knew you liked his warm hands on your hips under the blanket following a cup of hot chocolate.

You don’t really remember how you met him. It’s as if he existed in your life since the beginning of cruel time but that wasn’t the case. You can clearly remember a time before him but exactly when he appeared out of thin air, you didn’t bother to keep track of.

Then why was that, you wondered, as his tongue set fire to your loin on miserable festive evenings, you let him in your life?

Then why was that, you tried to remember, as his throat pulsed under your crude grip on hollow autumn daybreaks, you let him in yourself?

Then why was that, you furrowed your brows contemplating as his hot, panting body pressed you against the wall on doleful Friday nights, you let him stick around?

It wasn’t love, that much you knew. It wasn’t kindness either, there was no rationale for you to be kind to him. And you were beyond the capabilities to conjure pity. Then why?

As he licked the disgusting maple syrup from the side of your mouth on one unbearable Tuesday morning, it occurred to you; about the invisible and invincible ties of the universe which bestowed his company onto you. Some intangible force, some abstract fate, some obscure theory about the atoms made it so that he had to exist in your vicinity every now and then, and you didn’t have it in you to defy God.

You couldn’t defy God, but you did defy compassion on multiple occasions.

Some nights when he couldn’t close those green, exhausted eyes of his with all the strength in his supernatural world, or on the afternoons when he clutched those absurd dog-tags round his neck lying on the cold bathroom floor, you defied all of your theoretical humanity as you simply just looked away. You never knew why he did what he did. He told you, maybe, but you don’t know that either.

His existence didn’t make sense to you, it was as if a glitch in the logic behind the cosmic mechanics.

It wasn't about what he was, you weren’t oblivious to his paranormal origin. You wouldn’t say it was about who he was either.

In all honesty, you didn’t really know who he was...is. Everytime he came around he’d become a different “who.”

Rather it was the very normal about him that sent you thinking in circles. It was the very normal about him that you couldn’t align with logic, you couldn’t put in perspective.

And he warped your perception when he bit your earlobe. He toyed with your logic when he let your fingers dig a bit too deep in his flesh. He loved playing Guns N’ Roses when he put his head on your lap, and maybe he loved you too, it was impossible for you to know that, implausible for you to try.

Though there was one thing that you knew about him with indubitable certainty, he wasn't afraid of death. You’d even go on to say he had a rare fascination towards it, the type of fascination star-crossed lovers seem to have. You knew that ‘cause you saw it. He tried and tired and you stood, looking over, as his sole, soul-less witness.

He never succeeded and at times, it felt to you as if even God hated him. What kind of God doesn't grant His creation even the least bit of relief? So you played God, helping him crush his violet pills when he couldn't get up.

So you played God, letting him bleed on your kitchen counter as long as he cleaned up after himself and discarded the razor blades safely.

He’d sway in your balcony afterwards, dance to some music only the doomed could hear. He’d smile affectionately at you when he caught you looking at him through your half-asleep eyes.

“Mein egoistischer Liebhaber,” he whispered once in your ears while uncut blissful rapture fell upon you, while you pathetically crumbled under him. You didn’t know what he meant, whether it even was something or just his fervid groans taking the shape of foreign words for the amusement of the same God.

Yet those words, you recall their sound, clear as an azure lake, distinct as his emerald irises.

Their meaning didn’t ignite curiosity in you, you still don’t know what they mean. Just the way he said them felt familiar to you. And for that reason alone, you remembered them.

You remembered them every time he looked into your eyes with his dilated pupils after you denied him entry to your apartment in the dead of the night because someone else’s naked body laid across your battered bed.

“I'll crash on the couch, please...”

“No.”

“I won't disturb anyone, I promise!”

“I said no.”

But you let him in tonight, and he’s talking about something, lying beside you as your phone lets you know it’s 4am.

He’s talking about something incoherent again; some apocalypse, some catastrophe, all equally meaningless to you. He talks and talks and let’s you know, finally after a long painful soliloquy, that he has to go away again and maybe this time, he won’t return. You understood that part only, the rest brushes off your skin like mere carpet dust.

Does it bother you? You can’t tell. He says he wants to be loved tonight, very well then.

You give him what he wants. You kiss him on his parched mouth, you take him in like you’re parched of him. His honeydew skin dissolves on your tongue, his fingers wander on your bitter body with endless love. Love...what was that again?

You let him come inside of you. Let a part of him linger in you just for a bit. He kisses you on the temple. You could feel him quivering, holding onto you, tight enough to leave bruises.

He says he’ll miss you.

He asks you to turn around, face him while falling asleep.

And you shouldn’t cry but you are.

It is hard to love Klaus. And you don’t really love him...do you?

#klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader smut #robert sheehan #robert sheehan x reader #robert sheehan x reader smut #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagine #umbrella acedmy #klaus hargreeves smut #tua klaus #tua imagine #tua #klaushargreevesedit #klaus hargreeves imagine #Spotify

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nambamjun · 3 years

Text

Star Stuff {SMG}

Pairing: (Hufflepuff) Song Mingi x (Hufflepuff, Gender Neutral) Reader

Genres: Hogwarts AU, mutual pining, friends to perhaps lovers, fluff, some angst

Warnings: I think one or two instances of slight language? Nothing too too bad though

Word Count: 1.4K

A/N: I’m finally and officially done with university for the semester! Off and on break till the fall, which means I’ll have a lot more time to write! I’m home with my cat and it’s missing Mingi hours (as per usual) so I figured why not put a lil thing out here super quick? Comments and (constructive) criticisms are always welcome, hope you enjoy ~<3

You stood on the top most floor of the astronomy tower, pulling your jacket closer to your frame and breathing outwardly before burying your nose deeper into your house scarf that wrapped tightly around your neck. The crisp October air swirled around you, miscellaneous leaves dancing around the floor as it tousled your hair. You looked at your wrist watch, a gift from your muggle friend back home. Staring at the face you wondered how she was getting on these days. Sure, it had only been two and a half months since you had seen her last before leaving for this term, but knowing that didn't really make you miss her any less.

To keep you company while missing old friends, though, you made new ones. Friends that you didn’t have to hide a pretty substantial part of your life from... aka, anything to do with magic. While it wasn’t as if you were popular you did have a few people who really exemplified the saying “quality over quantity”, and you knew that just as you would always have their backs, they would always have yours. Seeing as most of them were hufflepuffs including you this wasn’t too surprising. Most, not all, but hey the value of loyalty was held quite highly in your close knit group.

Speaking of a hufflepuff friend… you zoned back in to your wrist. 11:37pm. You stuffed your now icy hand back in your pocket and huffed. Where is he…? This wasn’t the first time you two had snuck out after hours, far from it. Still, you hoped he hadn’t been caught. That would have definitely weighed on your conscience. I’ll give him until ten of midnight. Thirteen minutes is enough time, if he isn’t here by then… I guess I’ll head back and hope that he just fell asleep or something.

And that is what you did. Five minutes... eight... eleven... thirteen... heck, fifteen. You gave an extra two minutes, but you could only wait around for so long. Briskly walking towards the door the only thought in your head was that you hoped he was warm in bed and that’s all there was to it. Well, that and the hopes that you, too, would be in that same placement in your own room. Lost in thoughts of blankets and pajamas, however, you failed to see someone start to come through the doorway just as you were about to exit. Your bodies crashed together and you stumbled backward, about to give them a right piece of your mind, but any anger faded instantly when you looked upon the apologetic yet smiling face of your best friend.

“Song Mingi how dare you keep me waiting,” you pointedly whispered, lightly pushing him with your fist. “You had me worried! I had half a mind to send an owl straight to your room!” He started chuckling at your reaction and despite wanting to just be a tiny bit dramatic you couldn’t help but let his contagious smile spread to you. “So you’re laughing at me now, okay, I see how it is-” you started to throw your hands up in mock frustration.

“Oh come on, stop being a drama queen. Besides, I’m here now!” You crossed your arms and tried your best to look as indifferent as possible. He sighed and gave you a big eyed stare. “I’m sorryyyyyyy...”

Well who could stay mad at that face?

You relented, stepping forward to give him a short hug before returning to your bundled up state, nose once again deep in your yellow and black scarf. Wordlessly you two made your way over to the usual sitting spot on the side steps and sat down, backs leaning against the wall. You allowed yourself to scoot right next to him and lean into his side, sharing the warmth as your eyes gazed out into the expansive night. You didn’t know he was looking at you until he lightly muttered, “is it just one of those nights…?” You looked up at him, his eyes soft and compassionate, and felt a flood of warmth bloom outward from your chest. You hummed and slightly nodded your head before lightly placing it back down onto his shoulder. He didn’t say anything else, just put his cheek on the crown of your head and moved even closer.

It was times like this that you felt truly at peace. Here, with him, thoughts of all of the assignments you had to do didn’t even cross your mind. School drama was little more than something to chuckle at. Being homesick wasn’t even an issue, because although you were far from your family, you felt at home with him. Yes, the assignments were still there, and maybe two of your other friends were in the middle of a fight that put you in between them, but all of it would work out eventually. You’d be able to get through it all with him by your side. You grew up together, him having been one of the first friends you made upon arriving and being sorted into the same house. Now it was both of your sixth year. The fact that you didn’t have all the time in the world for moments like this loomed over your head sometimes, and it scared you that after this it would be time for the real world, where summer breaks would be no more and nights like these… you hoped they would still happen but who knows? Adults go their separate ways sometimes.

Actually, no, it wasn’t adulthood that scared you. It was the change. Being ripped away from everything you knew, maybe even everyone, just to start something else, whatever that would be. But you were especially afraid of losing him. Not being able to see his beautifully unique smile every day, hear his laugh that was sweeter to you than bird song, or even just exchange little looks so many times a day to have two second long silent conversations that the others wouldn’t be privy to.

Did you have feelings for your best friend? No.

Were you in denial about that? Well… maybe…

Were you going to do anything about it? Absolutely not.

Because he’s your best friend, and you his. You couldn’t - you wouldn’t - afford to change anything from where it is now. Moments like this still had to happen. You wouldn’t know what you would do if they didn’t, let alone if he looked at you differently. Treated you differently. Or even, worst case scenario, left altogether.

You blinked and forced yourself out of your head. You wanted to be in the moment and enjoy every moment with him you could, as fully as possible. All of that could wait until later. You took a deep breath inward and released it, letting yourself revel in the serenity you felt beside him. Little did you know that Mingi was thinking almost the same exact thoughts, with the same worries, and the same fears pitted in the bottom of his stomach. Looking up at the stars without tilting his head he thought to himself that he wouldn’t let any of that happen. He wouldn’t let you drift apart, in fact he would do everything in his power to make sure that the bond between the two of you would be stronger than ever. He allowed a small grin to work its way onto his lips. Right there and then he started plotting.

Maybe Yunho could do me a favor and get the Gryffindor quidditch team involved. That would be so cool, with sparkling letters in the air that would fly out of the ends of their brooms! Is there even a spell for that…? What about maybe putting something like a slip of enchanted paper into that one book? No that might be too subtle and easy to miss. Maybe she’s not into grand gestures though. What wouldn’t be too big but yet still somehow grand? OH! OH! What about that one plant in herbology that blooms those little flowers she loves so much? Maybe I could…

~~~~~

As his mind ran away from him the stars twinkled on above you, hearing the way your two minds crossed so beautifully and whispering to one another about where they thought it would lead. They looked down on the pair and sent some good old fashioned celestial luck to the young romantics. They knew soulmates well enough, and knew that luck wasn’t exactly something they needed in the first place, but why not? It couldn’t hurt. And besides, Mingi was coming up with so many ideas. He could use that energy to help him pick one of them and make it as perfect as possible. After all, to him, you were deserving only of perfection. Nothing less. And he’d be damned if that wasn’t exactly what you got.

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hazbbyhaz · 4 years

Text

sleepless || harry styles

twenty three

pairing: Harry Styles x OC

synopsis: story circle

disclaimer: that bloke Eric, harassment, cursing

One of the luckiest things to happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood

Avery had never stayed at a party till the very end. She wasn't a fan of the loud noises, the crowded space, the drunks. The atmosphere itself made her anxious. As the hand of the kitchen clock finally hit twelve, she assumed the party would start to die down. She thought people would slowly funnel out, all bidding their goodbyes and frantically making their way to the tube. Their thoughts, no doubt, thinking about the inevitable hangover they will face tomorrow. But, that didn’t happen. If anything, the party intensified. While she knew that she could go home, she didn’t want to. If she did, she would fall asleep. If she left, she would be alone.

A few minutes earlier a small group of people had formed, all of them sat around the living room. Harry, who was exhausted from showing Avery his amazing dance skills, had led her to where he was previously sitting, both of them sitting side by side on the sofa.

Francis, who sat opposite them, held up a cupcake with blue frosting and sprinkles all over it. "Okay, who made these cupcakes because they are so good! I need the recipe."

"All the credits to me," Another boy spoke up, he had black short hair and there was a golden earring dangling from his earlobe. "can't give you that recipe though, it's my mothers." He shrugs and Francis groans dramatically, making everyone laugh.

Avery sat in silence, taking everything in around her. The atmosphere started to grow on her. Harry grew worried by her silence, asking her multiple times if she was feeling okay, but she was having the time of her life. She loved hearing about everyone's family reunions, annoying relatives and friends who got married. It was so different to her life and she wished she could tell a story about her family. But she couldn't. Even Harry chimed in talking about one Christmas night when he was six and tried to catch Santa, tripping over the cable for the electric candles on the tree and causing the whole thing to fall over.

"Okay" Francis speaks up. "I want to hear the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in your childhood or teenage years. Starting with..." His eyes skimmed through the room before deciding on a ginger haired girl. "Zoe."

The stories went all over the place. From awkward kisses to first dates and failed pranks or trying to impress crushes. And before she realized, it was Avery's turn to tell her story. Her first instinct was to let them skip her, but no one in the group was having it. There wasn't anything to say, she had been homeschooled and her childhood had been not even close to any experiences here.

"Uhm... I don't really know... what to-"

"Oh come on, pet." A sudden movement in the corner of her eyes makes Avery move closer to Harry in fright. She gripped his forearm, Harry immediately noticing and taking her hand into his own, rubbing his thumb in gentle circles on the back of her palm. Eric had sat down next to her on the tiny sofa, apparently deciding to join the little circle as well. "Don't act all innocent. Tell us, what did you do as a child?"

"If you'd let her talk she'd be able to answer, mate" Harry chimed in, throwing an annoyed look at Eric.

"Nothing comes to my mind right now." She quickly rambles, trying to just get out of this situation. Being the center of attention must be high up on the list of worst things in the world she thought. The eyes of all these people fixed on her made her incredibly uncomfortable.

"Oh, so she is all innocent" Eric exclaims, his breath smelling like beer and his words almost unnoticeably slurred.

She could sense Harry roll his eyes beside her before he leaned down and whispered in her ear. "Tell something about Oliver, love."

"Oh yes!" Avery grins, embarrassed for a second at how loud her voice was. "I have a cat and he used to balance on the rail of my balcony. There was one time where I had just gotten out of the shower, still in just a towel, and I saw him balancing outside on the railing. I got super scared that he would fall off, so I ran out and grabbed him, and in the process my towel dropped which ended up in me flashing an old lady living opposite me."

"Oh my god, that sounds horrendous!" Francis laughs.

"It was horrible, I didn't step foot on that balcony for a month." She giggled less aware of all the eyes on her. They continued on but Harry was still chuckling from Avery's story. "Oliver really is a bastard, huh?"

"No" Avery laughs. "He's so cute, I just had to forgive him."

Harry shakes his head but there was still a smile on his face. His eyes meet hers and he studies her face for a moment. "You look a bit tired."

"I am" She confesses, leaning her head against his shoulder. There was no reason for denying it, especially not when she was talking to Harry.

"Do you wanna try and get some sleep tonight?"

"Not really" With the party, and Harry sleeping over the night before, there surely was a lot on her mind and Avery wasn't eager to simply sleep it all off.

"I can put a pot of coffee on?"

She sits up with a grin. "That would be amazing."

"I’ll make you a cup." Harry knew that what he was doing was wrong. He shouldn’t be encouraging her sleeping habits, or lack thereof. But, making the night most bearable for her was his top priority, and if this was how, then that was that. Case closed.

"Thank you."

He gets up and disappears in the kitchen shortly after. Avery turns her attention back to the stories being told by all the strangers sat around her. Now that Harry isn't around, she felt irritable and increadoubly out of place now that he was gone. She groans internally because she knows that she has been relying on him too much. She was dependent on him. She felt as if she was no longer independent.

When it came to her job, paying bills, doing taxes, and managing her things, she had always been independent. She had to be. But as soon as she got confronted with social interactions, she simply couldn't stop her heart from beating or her thoughts from racing.

"So.. Avery,'' Eric beside her starts, turning his body towards her and leaning back against the armrest of the sofa, a new bottle of beer in his right hand. "How old are you?"

She fiddles with the hem of her sweater, feeling his burning gaze on her. "22" Avery whispers, focusing her attention on the guy with the black hair who is telling some story that she is too far away to hear. She was trying to show Eric that she really ins't interested in talking to him, but he doesn't get the hint.

"You live on your own then, right? At 22? That's impressive."

She nods, still avoiding his eyes, trying to concentrate on the story.

"Is it far from here?"

"Just a couple tube stops." Just don't look at him, ignore him.

"Hey, loosen up a bit, hm?" Eric jokes and his hand squeezes her thigh, making her jump cause she wasn't expecting him to be so bold.

"Please don’t touch me." She mumbles, scooting closer to the other end of the sofa. Eric simply shrugs, moving closer to her but before he can say anything else, a ball of crumpled paper hits his head. Avery looks up and notices that Francis was the culprit.

"Hey Eric!" He yells over. "Cut it out. You're being annoying."

Eric rolls his eyes at Francis, ignoring his request and turning back to the girl beside him, but Francis doesn't stop. "I mean it. Leave her alone or get the fuck out, okay?"

After huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf, Eric finally gets up and walks towards a little group by the fireplace on the other side of the room.

Avery lets out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. Finally feeling relieved knowing that he was away from her. She got up, about to thank Francis, before realizing that he had completely disappeared. Lost in the abyss of the party. So, Avery slowly made her way to the kitchen, knowing that Harry would be there.

Harry was leaning against the kitchen counter, texting someone on his phone, his brows furrowed. As Avery enters he looks up, his eyes becoming a bit brighter and his brows unfurrowed. "Your coffee is almost ready." He says, assuming that was the reason why she came to the kitchen.

"It's boring without you." She felt how her body had calmed down substantially, her heart had turned back to a normal beat and her mind slowed down.

"Everything in life is boring without me," Harry says and she chuckles tiredly at his ego. "Come over here."

Avery scrambles over to him and Harry opens his arms, pulling her small frame close to his chest. She allowed herself to close her eyes and take in his scent as Harry rested his chin on her head. Avery guessed that he would leave somewhen, maybe soon and there would be no one to blame for it. No one at all. Because if she can't stand herself, how could she expect someone else to be around her.

"Whatever happened to you, Ave, no matter what it was, you didn't deserve it. I know you didn't." She freezes but Harry doesn't let her go, instead he starts to draw small circles on her back. "I noticed how you were acting earlier when everyone was telling their stories. You seemed so... eager to take it all in as if.. I don't know..." He murmurs, she feels the vibration of his chest against her cheek.

"It doesn't matter to me what it was, and you don't have to tell me, but you didn't deserve it."

She had never told anyone. Not her previous boyfriends, not Tom, she could barely admit any of it to herself. For a moment, she thought about not replying at all.

"But don't you think bad things happen to bad people?"

"Oh Avery... I think you can be anything you want to be in life. Anything but a bad person."

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vanveronicango · 4 years

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if you don't mind me asking, what aspects of s2 did you dislike? bc for me, although i liked it a lot better than s1 (mainly for the increased focus on sibling dynamic scenes). i also kind of realized that it had kind of a Lot going on, that although i appreciated, didn't get enough equal attention? idk

i agree that the dynamic scenes this season were pretty great. we got some great interactions between characters that didn’t have much last season (personal fave being klaus/allison/vanya and every individual combo in that trio).

i personally love reading other peoples’ opinions on shows/movies, even if they don’t match my own, because a lot of the time they open my eyes to some stuff i haven’t seen, and i love to see work affecting others the same way it does me, even if it has a different outcome.

so, i know i said i wouldn’t, but since you asked, under the cut i’m going list out some of the stuff i wasn’t a huge fan of, and some of the stuff i really liked.

(edit warning: this shit is LONG. but please don’t take this as me absolutely hating the season - I didn’t. there was some genuinely enjoyable stuff. but, in my opinion, it didn’t have the spark and intent that s1 did. it wasn’t the caliber of the season i fell in love with. i think it’s still rewatchable though, unlike a certain godawful season of a certain hit netflix show...... coughstrangerthings3cough)

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE

1. not enough characterization/development in most of the characters (this will be the longest point, so I’ll get it out of the way first) - for one, the siblings - save maybe vanya & allison - really... did not develop much this season, and weren’t explored as heavily as in the first season. hell, even in vanya and allison’s cases, i still think s1 did a better job at delving into their characters and psyche, even though they still had a bit of it in s2. but especially in the other siblings cases, i feel like SO MUCH of this season leaned into trivial things the fans liked, that it either (at least) took time away from or (at worst) was an active detriment to the characters’ development and plots. they said oh you like banter? we’ll give you unnecessary arguing and jokes that go on for 20 minutes too long when we could be delving deeper into these interesting situations we saw on the surface. here’s some fart jokes and forgettable music when we could be seeing more of how these characters are coping with the literal end of the world/being sent back in time/facing the prospect of never seeing their families again.

in s1, we got luther’s immense internal struggles in living up to his “name” and only existing to please his father... diego finding his relationships through his jaded nature towards his siblings and himself, and grappling with feelings of inferiority... allison’s coping with the effects her powers have had on her life, and trying to become someone without rumoring everything into existence, which is a new feeling altogether that she isn’t quite sure how to cope with... klaus going through intense development as a simultaneously self-obsessed and self-destructive drug addict that gets thrown into a gruesome war for a year, only to watch the person he loves most die, grappling with his ptsd from war & his abusive childhood, and discovering new powers... five coming back home after decades of solitude and then being used as a weapon, trying to reestablish himself within the group while dealing with an eating feeling that he doesn’t belong in his body or in this group.... vanya, oh vanya, with her depression, anxiety, feelings of loneliness and betrayal, feeling invisible and utterly ordinary, gripping to whoever makes her feel special (and dealing with that fallout) before suddenly being slammed with unbelievably powerful abilities that she can’t control.

in s2... yes, we get lesbian!vanya who becomes truer to herself, and - through intense struggle - finds a way to harness her abilities so she isn’t so out of control and can finally feel extraordinary herself. but much of the latter was given up for a vast majority of the season bc she literally didn’t know who she was (there was a positive in that though, which i’ll list in my positives list), and so we lost a LOT of potential coping and learning time, which easily could have mingled with her sissy storyline! allison’s storyline i actually dug, i don’t have too much gripe with it except that i wish her throat injury didn’t just kind of magically heal, and they could’ve addressed it more. the end of ben’s story was interesting, but still lacked depth imo. as for the other siblings.... it all just felt like a TON of jokes that were funny at first, but quickly became stale and had me wishing they would take the story a bit deeper. that said, a lot of the gags, jokes, and quips were great, but they could’ve been incorporated WAY more intelligently, and allowed for characterization at the same time. loads and loads of banter, not being balanced with poignancy like s1 did very well.

we could have seen luther’s descent into the criminal underworld, and why he felt the draw and obligation to go that route. a more detailed look at klaus’ beginnings and relationship with the cult, his motivations (which s2 kept super shallow), more of diego’s life inside the asylum and even beforehand. but no, we got five and old five farting.

2. the music - man, the s1 soundtrack was iconic, was it not? effortlessly cool scene/music combos, countless iconic music moments, brilliantly and thoughtfully done. this season felt like they said “music? oh ok throw music EVERYWHERE” and it was just. not. good. instead of music that intertwined with each scene like it was a character itself, amplifying the tone and adding a new layer (like in s1), the music this season was mostly just distracting, forgettable, and felt like they were this close to just making a bunch of music videos. i even found myself hating a couple of their choices (the rest i just kinda... forgot). i did like the vanya/allison/klaus dance scene, but other than that.... eugh.

3. the handler - I HATE. HATE HATE HATE. when shows/movie franchises do shit like make a big deal of killing off a villain or lead and then just being like “hehe jk uwu” and bringing them back with some totally bs reason that they lived. a metal plate? really? and she magically awoke... how long after? not to mention how unbelievably lazy and lame it is. they could’ve done so much more with carmichael and the swedes, but they had to bring back... the villain we already had? don’t get me wrong, i LOVEEE kate walsh, but come on. it’s season 2. give us something fresh.

4. the swedes - in s1, cha cha and hazel had personalities, wants, desires that were all explored. we knew their motivations, their doubts, their fears. we liked to watch them. then the writers threw in the swedes... who were completely devoid of any and all characterization (they could’ve gone in my #1 point too heyo), personality, backstory, anything. it was so painful that when each one died, it was clear that we were supposed to feel something for the others, but did any of you really feel anything? no. because we didn’t know these characters at all. they were walking guns, pretty much. nothing substantial.

5. ben & klaus - being someone who loves these two characters so, so much (hellloooo, my old url?), this one breaks my heart. i was so unbelievably disappointed with them this season. all either of them were was horrible to the other. in klaus’ case, he just decided to keep ben’s presence a secret, not even telling the group ben loved them, or that he was there. he called him his ghost bitch, he used him as a personal pet, he lacked sympathy or compassion. we saw a glimmer of hope when he allowed ben to possess him, but that’s where ben’s issues start. seriously, possessing your brother past his breaking point, fighting him out of his own bodily autonomy, until he is in a state of complete exhaution? then saying he “regrets nothing”? and then the show playing it off as ~comedy~ bc that’s almost all they cared about this season... no... there was nothing in their relationship this season that compared to last’s. no moments of tough brotherly love, where ben tries to help klaus through his drug/alcohol desires or ptsd flashbacks, no moments of teamwork (besides the brief moments of consenting possession before that was ruined), no tender moments between brothers in general. all just REALLY FUCKING LOUD “comedy”, anger, resentment, bickering, and cruelty, all played for laughs. not about it son

6. “we’re not blood related!” - and, once again, getting played for laughs... for a show that became uncomfortably self-aware with trivial fan desires (but not the deeper stuff...), they sure do lack a lot of common sense of realizing what we don’t want

7. hazel (& agnes) - they went through the trouble of saving hazel and agnes just to have agnes die off-screen before the season started, and for hazel to die five minutes into his only appearance? lame. lame lame lame.

8. plot pace - i don’t really recall any moments in s1 that i thought “this scene doesn’t need to be here”, “this is moving so slowly”, or “this is being really rushed”. there was plenty of all three of those in s2. s1 was constant, everything was either towards the main goal or was filled with private and fascinating character moments. i love just watching characters live and do their thing if it’s done properly... but those scenes this season really weren’t very entertaining (save one or two), didn’t really seem to serve a purpose or hold weight, and didn’t give us any character insight.

9. klaus - the reason he’s listed specifically even after i mentioned him in the first point, was because of how personally saddened i was by his “arc”, if you could call it that. i know, him being my favorite (along with vanya) in s1 isn’t an original thought. but the writers, directors, and robert created a character so entertaining, charming, layered, and multi-faceted that it was hard not to fall in love with him. for all his goofiness, he then got a shit ton of characterization and development in the war, in dave, in his ptsd and discovering his power. his poignant moments were so powerful because of how different it was from his typical outward appearance. and fuck if he didn’t develop! this season, klaus felt... shallow. the cult stuff had no depth, no real reason to be there at all (the show really wouldn’t be much different without it, besides it being how five and allison found klaus), and it was kind of a throwaway point anyway, just another tool to get - shocker - more laughs. those touching, serious klaus scenes were completely absent in s2... he was just the ~quirky~ and/or ~high/drunk~ guy. there was literally no depth to his character at all this season. yeah, he crawled from behind the desk in e9.... and what else? nothing. robert did all he could this season, but something tells me even he was probably disappointed by just how one-dimensional klaus was. he was really no different at the end than he was at the beginning of the season, which is a no-no.

10. klave - this is kind of an expansion of #9, but i was so disappointed by it that it needed its own spot. the only stuff that was supposed to be serious in klaus’ story - the klaus/dave stuff - was really not good. the moment the shopkeeper said “david?” in the store, i literally gasped bc i was so excited... but that was the last of any excitement i felt for the two, which, if you know me, is BONKERS considering how much i adore s1 klave. but this new young actor had ZERO chemistry with robert (fuck if rob wasn’t trying, though. it looked painful for him, but this guy really was just not well casted) (cody and rob were phenomenal together and had a fraction of the screentime this new actor had), and klaus being 30 and this actor/character being a kid was just... weird to watch. plus... so many white actors look the same, they really couldn’t find someone who looked like cody ray thompson? c’mon now ...... also, was there any point to it? at all? dave just wound up going anyway and there was literally no differences made in that situation. i think the writers thought they were catering to the audience by adding dave, but you need actors with chemistry (cody! cody!!!) and a good plot to do so.

11. s1 fallout - there really was none. that’s it. you’d think there’d be more after the explosions in the relationships of these siblings, but everything was just kind of glossed over.

12. sparrow academy - mostly here because... does this mean 7 more characters? meaning MORE time taken away from our og siblings, who already (mostly) didn’t develop well this season? i’m not gonna lie, i’m worried/

WHAT I LIKED

1. the chestnuts - i absolutely loved ray, loved allison, and loved their and their group’s work this season. the issue of race is so important all the time, but in the 60′s the tensions were so high and it would’ve been a joke if the show hadn’t addressed it or just kind of went with little racist remarks. these two had some of the most touching scenes of the season, and the sit-in scenes/every police scene had me incredibly anxious. that was well done, imo. which is proof that they still know how to do a good storyline, which makes me even more upset that the show was overall lacking that this season. i’m also so glad they didn’t go the “oh sry ray i still love luther’ route bc i literally don’t know if i would’ve kept watching. ANYWAYS im gonna miss ray sm :(

2. vanya & sissy - lesbian!vanya is all i want and more. vanya/sissy was all i want and more. these two, much like the chestnuts, breathed so much life into an often-dull season. so in love!!! vanya connecting with harlan even in just the most human ways!!! sissy finally standing up to carl (and carl d*ing god bless).... little found family oh my GOD!!! super devastated that sissy didn’t come back to the future with vanya, but because of harlan’s ending, something tells me we haven’t seen the last of them. oh and i am so conflicted about vanya’s amnesia, bc while i think so much more development could’ve happened without it, i also don’t think a lot of what happened with her and sissy could have happened, at least as quickly, if vanya was bogged down by guilt, anger, and lingering feelings of self-hatred and anxiety.

3. sibling dynamics - okay, this one is a contradiction, kinda sorta. i know i said the ben/klaus relationship was horrid. and i didn’t dig absolutely everything with all the siblings.... but they had some REALLY strong stuff this season. i know i’ve already mentioned it multiple times, but vanya/allison/klaus was everything to me this season. i knew i wanted klaus/vanya stuff happening, but adding allison to the mix gave it a whole new layer and they all just worked SO. DAMN. WELL. i just kind of wish it was vanya with her memories getting that bonding time, because i feel like the trio really could’ve gone in with how they all related to each other, their struggles, etc. but still, just some Happy Time was much appreciated. in addition to them, i really did dig a lot of almost every sibling dynamic this season. not every relationship got the attention it deserved, but it wasn’t too bad, it would be really hard to get all of that into 10 eps. plus, the fact that almost all of them grew so much closer was everyyyything. it’s odd, because good dynamics usually come with good development but uh..... nvm im keepin this section positive

4. the humor - another kind of contradiction, maybe. for some of the humor, i thought it went too long, was extremely heavy-handed, often took away from the plot, and some of it even degraded certain characters and situations (see examples throughout my points above). however, the stuff that didn’t fall into these categories was so, so good. some favorites: olga foroga, “think of batman, then aim lower”, “you look like antonio banderas with that hair” “thanks man”, i’m t h e d a d d y h e r e, “not everyone here likes you” “sounds ridiculous but go on”, klaus’ little pop culture quips to his cult, “being smart doesn’t make you interesting” “neither does that beard”, klaus calling ben to manifest and ben being like ”...nah”... there are plenty more, but these were the first i could think of in 60 seconds off the top of my head. some of it really was laugh out loud funny, which can be hard to do, especially consistently. if only they didn’t lean into it so damn hard, and put in WAY too much heavy-handed humor that it dampened the experience

5. old five - although i don’t love all of the stuff in the five/old five scenes, old five’s actor was fantastic! he got aidan’s mannerisms down really, really well. it’s always cool to see actors do that kind of thing when they play a character at a different age, or a character’s sibling, etc.

6. time period bigotry - i’m really, really glad they didn’t gloss over the intense racism and homophobia of the era. it was mostly brought up with allison, vanya, and klaus, and all three actors did a great job in their respective roles when expressing their reactions to the hatred. the scenes were really hard to watch, but well done.

7. pogo/grace/reggie - don’t get me wrong, i still hate reggie with a burning passion. but i actually found his scenes with these two really interesting, and it gave us great insight as to why pogo was always so loyal to reggie, and how grace was more than just a face on a robot to hargreeves. (which actually makes lack of development in our mains even more infuriating... they clearly knew to put some in there, where is it for the rest of the sibs who got nothing this season!!!)

alright, i’m gonna stop here. i’m sure i can think of more for each section, but i’ve been thinking this out and typing for an hour (holy shit) and it’s 2am and i need sleep xoxo

#anon #ask #tua2 #this is the most i've really sat and analyzed the season since it came out #feels good

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pink-peony-princess · 4 years

Text

Matters of the Heart

"Why?" I groaned rolling over throwing a pillow across the room at my alarm clock. It was 5:30 in the morning and I was not in the mood to get up. Not only was it Friday, which meant it was the end of the week and I was exhausted, but I had a massive English final and to top it all off I was feeling pretty crappy. As I sat up, rubbing at my tired eyes I couldn't help but notice the aching of my limbs, my scratchy throat and my stuffed up nose.

I knew I needed to get up though,so I reluctantly left the warmth of my bed and trudged down stairs, finding that I was the first one awake.

For a few minutes the house was silent,and I relished it,knowing that by the end of the day I was going to have a pounding headache. It was at that moment when I started mentally kicking myself for fighting with my big brother Shawn when he had suggested getting a flu shot a month earlier. He wasn't happy, and it took a fair but of convincing,but eventually he let it slide. I hated needles, and he knew that.

"You look like you're about to fall over Aimee," Shawn appeared suddenly, laughing when I jumped slightly in fright, coming over to where I was leaning against the counter.

I looked up and smiled half-heartedlly.

"I feel like it!" I groaned.

"Hug?" he asked opening his arms for me to step into. Ever since I could remember we had always shared a hug first thing in the morning.

It was a ritual, and just because I was now seventeen and a senior in high school didn't mean that I didn't love it.

"Aimmee, you feel warm," he spoke, resting his hand on my forehead as I leant into him "Why don't you stay home today Sweet Pea?" he asked as I waited, snuggled in his arms for my coffee to finish brewing,sniffling every so often.

"Can't," I sighed, " I've got a massive test first period for English," I told him before swotting his hand away.

"Well at least make sure you take some Tylenol, and have plenty of water," He told me, as I grabbed my coffee, ready to leave the house.

"Shawn,I'm not a baby!" I huffed,rolling my eyes. I hated it when he went all over protective on me, especially when it came to my health. Of course it was just my luck that he and our other three housemates and his best friends,Brian, Dave and Connor were all well respected doctors at the local hospital's Emergency Department.

He hummed in response, clearly not impressed with my answer, but didn't push it. Normally he would've put his foot down and told me point blank I wasn't going. I knew I still had a ways to go though as I still had to get past the others.

I considered them to be brothers to me, just the same as Shawn, so I was very close with all of them. Consequently they were all extremely protective of me, something which I hated, as I really wasn't too fond of anything medical. I'd had a couple of bad experiences when I was younger that had put me off hospitals.

"Brian and Dave just left, and Connor's on call," Shawn told me as I grabbed my house keys. "I'll be home tonight. Bri and D will be home by lunch, so call one of them if you need to come home early. " He kissed my head before opening the door for me, and telling me to 'have a good day'.

Several hours later, and the day was turning out to be worse than expected. I had just come out of second period, and my head was throbbing, my throat aching as the pain killers I had taken earlier had long since left my system.To out it simply I was feeling like the walking dead.

"I love you babe, but you really are looking a bit rough hon." My best friend Emma spoke as she came to meet me outside the classroom.

"Let's just go sit down, " I begged as the halls started to fill. We walked in silence, not saying much, but as we were making our way through the doors to the lunch room I suddenly became very light- headed. White spots obscured my vision as I made a grab for the closest object, the side of the door.

"Are you okay Aimee?" Emma asked, coming to a stop behind me. Do you need me to call Shawn?" She asked as I tried to keep myself upright.

"He's at work call Brian or Dave please." I managed to get out, between sharp breaths, as she led me to a lunch table. As soon as she had me seated and stable she pulled out my phone from my bag and called. I could hear talking, but was too focused on not passing out, or throwing up to actually pay attention.

"Dave said he's on his way right now," she spoke making me sigh in relief. At least now I knew that if I fainted I would be in the presence of a doctor or doctors given that Brian was home now too.

"We may as well go up to the office, " she suggested taking my bag from me, and giving me a sympathetic smile. We trudged slowly up to the office building, and once I was there the school nurse made her leave, taking me to her office where I lay on the cot in silence, trying to will away the dizzyness that was now causing the room to spin even more.

I felt like I was on one of those spinny rides they have at amusement parks.

I wasn't really paying attention to the time or my surroundings so it startled me slightly when I heard the nurse's voice and realised that she was no longer in the room with me.

"She's in here. She drifted off about ten minutes ago, the poor darling," she tutted as the door opened. Dave stepped into the room, dressed in scrubs, his ID badge identifying him as a doctor at the hospital still attached to his pocket. Clearly he had just come from work.

"I'm sorry I made you leave early," I apologised, coughing.

"Aimee, don't be ridiculous, you know the guys and I would drop anything any time you need us honey." I knew it was true. They had lived together since their intern year, and when I moved in I basically gained three other family members. It wasn't much of an adjustment though as I already saw them as older brothers, so I knew he meant what he was saying.

"So you're not feeling too good ha? " he asked, coming over to the cot, and giving me yet another sympathetic smile.

"You could say that," I laughed at the gross understatement before, letting out a few harsh coughs, making Dave's brow furrow.

He took my hand, and pulled me into a sitting position slowly.

"I feel dizzy," I mumbled, holding his hand more tightly.

" You're okay, it's probably just your Eustachian Tubes. If they get blocked, it messes with your balance, and can make you feel dizzy," he explained calmly as he waited for me to get my bearings. Once I felt normal enough to stand,Dave took my bag, and led me out to his car, keeping a supportive hand on my lower back the entire time.

"How long have you felt sick?" he asked switching into doctor mode almost immediately as soon as we stepped out of the office. "Aimmee?" he asked again as we got strapped in. It was only then that I realised I hadn't answered his question.

"Since last night," I admitted, leaning my head on the window.

"You really should have gotten the flu shot," he spoke a few minutes later.

" D, don't lecture me, you know I hate needles!" I grumbled, turning to glare at him.

"I'm just saying." He held his hands up in defense.

"Well just don't say!" I snapped back. "Sorry, " I added when I saw the look of shock. " I get mean when I'm tired."

He smiled, nodding in response, but didn't say anything, instead turning the car on and heading for home. Something which I was greatful for as I wasn't in the mood to talk.

The next thing I was aware of was my door opening slowly and Dave rubbing my arm gently.

"Aimmee, we're home honey," he spoke as I squinted, readjusting to the light. He was patient as I got out of the car, and made my way inside, helping me into the warm house and straight upstairs to my room.

"Take this," he spoke, handing me some decongestant for my cough and some aspirin for my headache.

I made my way slowly over to the bed once I had taken the given medication, curling up as Brian walked in with a soft smile, still dressed in his scrubs, stethoscope round his neck. "Hi sweetheart, I just want to take your temperature." he told me coming over to the bed, with a thermometer in hand, sitting beside me.

"I'm going to turn the heating up, and get a few more blankets," Dave told us before leaving the room.

"Sit up for my Aimee," Brian spoke, pulling the covers back.

"No," I whined, rolling over to try to avoid it.

"Come on Aimee, it'll only take a minute," he promised as Dave returned and came over, helping to roll me over. True to his word it was only a minute later that the machine beeped and I heard them both hum.

"You got yourself a substantial fever hon. I want you to get into a singlet. You can have a thin blanket if you're feeling cold, but the more we reduce the outside heat sources the better."

"You shouldn't be having to look after me," I huffed as I got out of bed in order to remove my excess clothing. "You haven't even removed your stethoscope or the gel from your hair, " I pointed to the way his hair was still spiked back with gel, knowing that when Brian got home, removing it was always the first thing he did, kind of like washing the day away.

"How about you let me worry about that hey?" he suggested, before laughing as I nearly fell, trying to remove my school pants, leaving me in just bike shorts and a crop top. Once I was changed he got me situated, propping up pillows to help with my cough.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "Hey where'd Dave go? " I asked noticing for the first time that he wasn't in the room anymore.

"He had some paper work to catch up on," This wasn't unusual as Dave was the Head of the Emergency Department, with Shawn, Connor and Brian working as his deputys, helping to lead the charge as the hospital is one of the biggest in the country,getting code blacks several times a month.

"As do I, so get some sleep. Just shout if you need anything, I'll be in the lounge drowning in paper work." He smiled as he pulled the quilt up around me and walked out the door.

I woke to whispers a while later, not knowing where I was, or what time it was for a few moments. When I felt the gentle touch of a hand on my forehead, and then my wrist, I came back to reality.

"She's still too warm," someone whispered.

"Aimmee?" I recognized the voice as Brian. Slowly I managed to open my eyes, squinting, and letting out a small moan at the instant headache the newfound light was giving me.

"How you feeling hon?" he asked, sitting on the bed, and rubbing my arms gently. He had changed into sweat pants and an old teeshirt since the last time I was awake, his hair now flopping over the right side of his face.

"Cold, sore, tired...," I listed off, trying to fight the urge to cough again. I just wanted to roll over and curl back up.

"How 'bout you come down stairs and have something light to eat, get some fluids into you, and I'll heat up a hot water bottle for you?" he suggested, standing up from the bed.

I really didn't want to, but I knew I really didn't have a choice, and that no matter what I said, he would make me.

"Fine," I sighed, slowly sitting up, and following him and Dave at a snail's pace down the stairs.

"Why'd you go to school?" he asked as I got settled on the couch.

"Had a test I couldn't miss," I answered between another set of bone rattling coughs.

"That doesn't sound good." He folded his arms and eyed me carefully.

"Yeah well, it doesn't feel too good either."

"Will you let one of us listen to your chest?" he asked, probably already knowing the answer.

I shook my head. He left it at that, and went to get some food for me, also heating up the hot water bottle as promised. When he returned he made me eat a piece of toast and have some honey lemon tea to help soothe my sore throat, before finally letting me go back to sleep. That was where I was when my brother stepped into the house, I don't know how many hours later.

"How are you feeling?" Shawn came to sit on the couch with me, still dressed in his scrubs.

"Pretty crappy." I sniffed leaning into his side, and relishing the warmth.

" Brian,when was the last time she had medicine?" he asked, pressing his palm to my to head.

Brian poked his head into the room from the kitchen. Probably having been preparing dinner, as they all took turns usually.

"About five."

"So about an hour ago," Dave surmised, coming over to sit on the other side of me,and looking at his watch.

"You're still feeling warm Princess, I'm going to go get some wet washers. You're having the flu shot next year Princess." he called as he left the room.

"But Shawn!" I whined, he knew how much I hated needles.

No,we are not having a repeat of this. Wouldn't you rather avoid this if you can?"

"You don't even know it's what it is. How long does it last though?"

" Seven to ten days, give or take. That's if it is the flu though," he qualified from the other room.

"I am sick of feeling sick," I grumbled as I chucked yet another batch of tissues into the bin that Brian had left beside the couch for me.

"Well maybe you'll think about that next time I say it's time to get your flu shot," he sassed, coming back into the room with several cold washers. I couldn't help but roll my eyes, he always had to be right!

"I saw that!" Dave laughed, poking my side and winking.

"Saw what?" Shawn asked, looking between the two of us.

"Nothing," I answered with a smile, trying to convey my innocence. " But seriously Shawnie, I know being a doctor is practically in your DNA, but could like not use this moment to do a 'I told you so. '," I huffed, throwing my weight to the back of the couch again.

He and Dave just laughed, before they worked together, placing the clothes around my body- under my arms, on my forehead, even my feet.

"You know if you let one of us take a look at you, then we might actually be able to help you," Connor spoke from the door, arms crossed, it was the first time I'd seen him all day. He looked tired, but somehow there was still a teasing glint in his eyes.

"No," I answered immediately, shivering at the thought.

He sighed coming to sit on the edge of the couch.

"We're not going to do anything to hurt you honey, but you've been sick for over 24 hours now, and nothing is changing."

"Not all doctors are nasty, cold people like your previous one," Shawn added with a gentle smile, reaching to take my hand in his. "Besides, I'm your brother and I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, we all took an oath not to do harm."

At least let us check your temperature again and eat something."

I looked down ringing my fingers before looking back at them all.

"Okay, but can we watch a movie after?"

...

It was now several hours later,and the movie (Monsters, INC.) had finished, and we were all in bed, but I lay awake tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable spot. I could feel that my fever had gotten worse, I was sweating, but freezing, I had aches and pains, and my whole body felt like lead. On top of that I now had a weird stabbing pain in my chest that was getting worse, and it was freaking me out. At first I thought it was just from all the coughing, but when it wasnt getting better after a solid half an hour of trying to ignore it, I knew something was wrong.

I got up slowly, and made my way down the hall to my brother's room, opening the door, seeing him splayed out on the bed, shirtless and snoring.

"Shawn?" I whispered, hoping to wake him, but it didn't do anything. "Shawn?" I tried again, this time shaking his arm a little bit, still nothing. Finally I was about to give up when I heard a voice from outside.

"Aimee?" Connor asked, stepping into the doorway, his face illuminated by moonlight flooding through the window.

"Con," I sighed relieved.

"What's wrong? " he asked as I came to stand next to him, him pulling me into a hug.

"My heart hurts," I hicupped into his chest. "My heart hurts," I repeated.

"Okay,calm down," he soothed, rubbing my back, and starting to lead me back downstairs, but not before shaking Shawn awake, and telling him to wake the others, all of which came into the lounge room minutes later, rubbing tiredly at their eyes.

"Now what sort of pain is it?" Connor asked,sitting next to me, and taking my pulse, as the others watched.

"It feels like I'm being stabbed here, " I told him holding my hand over my chest. Their brows furrowed.

"Does it hurt more when you're lying down or sitting? " Dave asked, coming over to me.

"Standing and lying down," I answered.

"How long has it been hurting?" Brian asked, feeling my forehead once again for the fever. "Her fever has spiked," he muttered, "Right I need to listen to your chest for a minute Poppet," Dave spoke standing and running to his room.

We sat quietly as we waited for Dave, me trying to get a hold of my emotions, as Connor sat beside me, rubbing calming circles on my back.

"I don't like this," I mumbled leaning into Shawn's side so that my face was in his neck, my voice muffled.

"You're doing great though Princess."

"But what if it's something bad?" I whispered, looking up at my brother.

"Aimee, I can't promise you anything right now, but I do know that you have four people here with you that are going to look after you. Right now, your only job is to let us do our jobs okay?" he smiled pulling me into him more tightly.

"You alright Princess?" Dave asked kneeling down beside the couch.

"No," I whispered the tears coming back as he went to place the stethoscope to my chest.

He sighed before dropping his arms and looking at me. "What are you scared of Sweetheart?" He didn't look angry, merely concerned so I told the truth.

"I don't like hospitals, or doctors," I admitted feeling stupid.

"Look Princess, I know you haven't had the best experiences with them in the past, but right now we really need to figure out what's going on. Try to remember that it's just me okay, just D, one of you're annoying big brothers. Don't think of it negatively, just think of it as we're trying to make you feel better," he suggested.

"Can you explain everything?" I asked, my voice breaking a bit.

"Of course,everything will be at your pace, okay?"

I nodded, showing him that I understood. " Is it okay, if I lift this up, so I can listen to your heart and lungs?" he asked tugging at my sweater lightly. I nodded again, holding Shawn's hand just a little bit more tightly.

"Just think, you're really quite lucky, it's not everyday that you get the Head of the Emergency Department doing a personal consult for you," Shawn said.

"That is true." I smiled despite everything.

"I know I'm the best," Dave laughed, as he stood up to listen to my lungs. "Deep breath in for me." I did as asked, waiting impatiently for it all to be over.

"There's definitely some crackling, especially on the left side of the lungs, and I'd like to double check, but it sounds to me like there's some inflammation around the heart," he spoke, allowing me to lean back.

"What, what does that mean? " I asked, my heart rate spiking again.

"If I'm right it means that the virus has effected the layers of your heart. Basically the tissue has gotten inflammed and is rubbing together. That's what is causing the pain."

"Is it dangerous?" I panicked feeling the blood drop from my face.

Connor looked at me before answering carefully. "It can be, but chances are that it's viral Pericarditis, so it should resolve within a few days with minimal intervention." he explained gently.

"Per, whaty-what?" I asked, feeling more confused than ever.

"Pericarditis, it's the medical name, " Brian explained, all of them them laughing at my sheer confusion.

"So what now?"

"Well as Dave said we need to check- get some x- rays to confirm, and while we're there we'll investigate everything else that's going on. It's almost certain you've got the flu, and that's what has caused it, so we need to get that sorted for everything else to get better," Shawn explained.

I groaned, letting my head drop into his lap, unfortunately this created the urge to cough, and with every cough that I let out, the burning, stabbing pain only intensified.

"We really need to get you to the hospital," Shawn urged seeing my discomfort, before bending down and picking me up, cradling me in his arms.

The other dashing upstairs to get into clothes other than pyjamas, and grab their badges. None of them seemed to care that they weren't in scrubs, and when I asked Shawn if it mattered he responded with "As long as we have our badges with us, it's okay. It's not mandatory to wear uniforms."

Once they were ready, they bundled me up in blankets, Shawn insisting that they protect me from the cold winter air, even for the short walk from the house to the car. I tried to be helpful, and support some of my weight as Shawn carried me to the vehicle, but I just didn't have any energy, and every time I moved, it hurt. Eventually I gave up, having tried to shuffle into my seat, twisting the wrong way and sending a shot of pain straight through my chest.

"Just let us do the work," Dave stopped me as I tried again,holding my arms, and bringing me to a holt, and so from that point on I was something of a jelly fish. Except for the shaking, I could barely stay still the whole drive, my legs trembling of their own accord, no matter how hard I tried to stop them.

"You'll be alright, " Connor commented, giving me a much needed hug as he helped me out of the car 20 minutes later.

By now I was feeling straight up petrified, and the worst part about it was, all four of the guys knew it. And there was absolutely nothing I could do.

"Come on," Shawn whispered, leading me slowly towards the hospital entrance.

Inside, they led me straight past the admissions desk, briefly filling one of the nurses in as we made our way into the room, Shawn helping me gently onto the single bed.

"Not anyone I don't know," I begged, holding onto Shawn, as the others moved around the room, collecting things and setting up equipment. I tried not to pay attention as I could already feel the anxious knots forming.

"You know we're not meant to be treating you Princess, at least not here, we're family," he responded, kissing my hand, while grabbing a gown from a draw and passing it to me, turning around so I could get changed,the others not paying attention.

"Actually Shawn," Dave spoke once I was dressed in the hideous cloth, "The pit is in overdrive, I had five new admissions just in the last half hour of my shift, and the other doctors are overloaded, I really don't think anyone will mind, and if they do they can take it up with me as the Head of the Department. She needs to be seen to, especially if our suspicions are right, " Dave interrupted, patting my arm gently.

"Aimee?" Brian called, getting my attention. "We'll take this really slowly hon, but we need to hook you up to a couple of things, okay?" I nodded, managing a smile as they went about starting to attach everything. A blood pressure and heart rate monitor, which I knew, a mask, which Shawn was quick to explain that I needed as I tried to remove it. "Leave it there baby, you could really do with the extra oxygen at the moment. You're heart is racing, and your blood pressure is also a little higher than it should be. Heart rate 120, BP 130/90," he called to the others as he watched the monitors that were now displaying my vitals.

"That's a little higher than it should be Aimee, just try to relax, I know it's scary, and I know that all the lights, and the noises won't be helping, but I promise you, you're in the best place right now, " Connor promised, coming over, and warming his stethoscope up in his hands before placing it against my chest.

The machines attached to me started beeping, as my heart rate picked up again, only making me feel more anxious and agitated.The guys seemed unfazed though, Brian quickly shutting them off with no trouble. " It's just an alert to tell us that you're vitals are higher than they should be," he explained when he noticed me watching his every move.

"Aimee?" Connor called, resting his hand under my chin, and turning my head gently so that my focus was on him again. "Ignore all that sweetheart,the guys will sort that out okay, all I need you to do is focus on Luke and I okay?" he smiled when I nodded, before helping me to sit up. "Breathe in for me Aimee, and out, and again," he spoke as I took shaky breathes, holding Shawn's hand in a death grip.

"There's definitely some wheezing there. I'd like to get a chest x-ray, and start you on fluids," he told me as he moved the stethoscope away, and allowed me to lay back again. "I'll order the x- ray now, you should be able to have it done in the next half an hour," he added as he went to the computer in the corner of the room, and pressed a few buttons. "Done, they'll page us when they're ready for you," he smiled.

"Right, is it okay if I have your left hand Princess?" Dave asked stepping up to the side of the bed. I only realised what he was dining when I saw the tray that he had placed down next to my side.

"No," I cried, panicked, realising that it was a needle, and other equipment, necessary for an I.V. "Can't you just give me something to make me better?" I asked desperately wanting to avoid an needles at all costs.

He sighed, taking in my stressed appearance." Three days ago an anti- viral may have worked, but somebody decided to be a difficult patient," Shawn looked at me pointedly as we all laughed."but now," he continued "not so much. Even with the anti-viral your body would have struggled. So now that the virus has taken hold your body really needs the extra help. Fluids included, " he explained, as Dave picked up the wipe from the metal bowl, wiping my hand down. I couldn't help the shudder that ran through my body, I had always hated the smell of hospital disinfect, and the sterilization wipes were no better.

"Sorry, he murdered as he finished, and chucked the wipe into the bin next to the bed. " Ready?" he asked, looking to me as he positioned my hand and opened the packet housing the needle.

" Do I really have to?" I asked, looking up at my brother, hoping he would help me out. Instead, he rubbed my back before agreeing with Dave.

"Sweetheart, you're in pain baby, this will help with it okay. It'll give you some relief,listen to me. Take a breath, listen to my voice. 'll sit up here and hold you. It'll be over in a second and then that's the worst over. Okay. Dave's a pro," he insisted, gesturing for me to move over so he could hop up onto the bed. He smiled encouraging allowing me to snuggle in.

"Don't cry Princess, " Dave murmured,wiping softly at my face with a tissue to dry the tears that were now falling. "On three, " he warned, causing me to bury my head in Shawn's neck. "One, two, three," I felt the pinch, of it breaking my skin, but it was nowhere near what I had been expecting, and I found myself looking up in surprise.

"Not so bad right," Shawn laughed.

"The expectations are always worse than the reality," Dave added, as he attached the tubing, and removed the tray from the bed. "You're all set little one, " he told me as he finished hookingme up to the fluids, and pain relief, before kissing my head.

For the next half an hour we sat in relative silence, all exhausted given that it was still so early. Finally Connor got the call to say that they were ready for me at radiology, Dave offered to take me so the others could get food, and Shawn could sort my admission papers. At first I wasn't too happy at the idea, but when Dave promised that he wouldn't leave my side I relaxed, and let him transfer me to a wheel chair, leading me down the maze of corridors.

"D," I asked as we came to a stop outside a lift.

"Yes? " he asked, bending down so that he could hear me more easily.

"Why do Cheetahs have spots?"

He didn't answer me for a minute, but then he started laughing, "Oh my goodness, I think the pain relief is starting to take effect."

" I feel fine now." I shrugged as the doors opened and he wheeled me in, still chuckling.

"I bet you do Princess, I bet you do."

The x- rays were quick and easy, only taking about ten minutes, after which Dave took me straight back up to the room.

"Someone's pain meds have taken affect!" he announced as he stopped just inside the door, and helped me to my bed.

Brian looked up from where he was sitting on the small chair in the corner doing paperwork and smiled. " I can see that, her eyes are huge, how much did you give her?" he laughed, standing up, and coming over to the side of the bed.

"What do you mean? " I asked as Brian pulled a light from his pocket.

"You're pupils, they're extremely dilated. "

"What are you doing?" Shawn asked as he and Connor walked in.

"She's high on pain meds," Dave explained with a chuckle. "We may as well do the exam now, while you're not in too much discomfort."

"Okay," Weirdly I didn't feel as nervous as I did before.

"Wow, those meds got you good baby, this is the most relaxed you've been in a medical setting, ever!" Shawn laughed taking my hand as he stopped next to me. " I didn't know pain meds effected you like this."

"Alright " Dave tapped my leg bringing my attention back. "I just want to check your heart and lungs first little lady, can you lean forward?" I nodded allowing him to do what he had to do.

"There is some slight wheezing, but other than that and the inflammation everything sounds perfect. " he smiled. "Your heart rate has come down too," he noted looking to the monitor. "That's good! So what else besides your fever, and the chest pain are you feeling?"

"What?"

"What other symptoms do you have? " Connor clarified, standing next to Dave.

"Cough, runny nose, sore throat, chills, head aches, fatigue." I listed, laughing slightly when the guys mouths dropped a bit in shock.

"Why didn't you just let us help you?" Shawn asked, clearly exasperated.

I shrugged, "I don't know, I guess, I'd rather just deal with it on my own. Or that's what I did think until it started hurting," I whined, "It feels like someone's stabbing me!"

"Let me have a look at your ears, nose and throat okay Princess," Dave spoke, ignoring the last bit of what I said. I was glad though because I just wanted to feel better. And the sooner he figured out what was wrong, the sooner he could make that happen.

"Well it's official Princess, you've got yourself a nasty case of the flu," he announced with what I thought was a rather unnecessary smile as he finished looking at my throat. "It's one of the worst ones I've seen in a while, I don't know how you're breathing through your nose, at all, or eating for that matter. Your throat is red."

"Yeah well, I'm not feeling that great right now, trust me," I grumbled. "I just wish my chest would stop hurting. "It stopped, and then it started again. "

"Radiology just sent through your scans, it's definitely pericarditis," Brian replied from the corner, causing me to groan.

"This sucks!" I whined, flopping back against the bed, "and it hurts."

"I know baby," Shawn spoke, clearly sympathetic.

"I'll put some more pain meds in your I.V okay, it should help, mbut really all we can do is relieve the pain, and keep you on bed rest until the virus runs it's course," he spoke gently as he readjusted the blankets for me, and put some more stuff in my I.V. "That should take too long to work. "

"Hop back in with me, I'm cold," I whined, pulling his arm so that he moved closer to the bed. I felt like all I was doing was whining, but I just felt crappy.

"That'll be the fever, " Brian nodded. "You've had stuff for it though, so we just need to let it do it's thing. Provided it doesn't get too high, it actually helps your body get rid of the virus. "

"The beds barely big enough for one," Shawn laughed, still focused on me.

"I don't care," I whined continuing to pull at his arm.

"Fine," he sighed, hoping in next to me, and allowing me to curl up once more.

"So what have you learned from this whole thing?" Shawn asked smirking from beside me as I struggled to keep my eyes open half an hour later.

I glared at him, causing all of them to laugh, "Go on, what have you learned?" he asked tickling my side.

" I don't know if I can say it, it hurts too much," I laughed, going along with the joke. He pouted.

"Hey no fair!" I argued, he knew that I couldn't resist it when he pouted, it had been that way since we were kids. "Fine, I should have listened to you, cause you know best," I grumbled, holding my chest as if I was wounded.

"Was that really so hard?" Connor laughed watching from where he was packing up excess wiring, placing them back into their relevant draws.

"Yes, it was incredibly painful," I sassed back.

"Truth hurts princess!" Shawn laughed, pulling me into a hug.

"That it does," I agreed, resting my head on his shoulder again and closing my eyes. Never again would I be so stubborn. But there was no need for them to know that, not yet anyway.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagines #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes blurb #doctor!shawn #mendes triplets #werewolf!shawn

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pinkpeonyprincessblog · 4 years

Text

Matters of the Heart

"Why?" I groaned rolling over throwing a pillow across the room at my alarm clock. It was 5:30 in the morning and I was not in the mood to get up. Not only was it Friday,which meant it was the end of the week and I was exhausted, but I had a massive English final and to top it all off I was feeling pretty crappy. As I sat up, rubbing at my tired eyes I couldn't help but notice the aching of my limbs,my scratchy throat and my stuffed up nose.

I knew I needed to get up though,so I reluctantly left the warmth of my bed and trudged down stairs, finding that I was the first one awake.

"You look like you're about to fall over Aimee," Shawn appeared suddenly, laughing when I jumped slightly in fright, coming over to where I was leaning against the counter.

I looked up and smiled half-heartedlly.

"I feel like it!" I groaned.

"Hug?" he asked opening his arms for me to step into. Ever since I could remember we had always shared a hug first thing in the morning.

It was a ritual, and just because I was now seventeen and a senior in high school didn't mean that I didn't love it.

"Can't," I sighed, " I've got a massive test first period for English," I told him before swotting his hand away.

"Well at least make sure you take some Tylenol, and have plenty of water," He told me, as I grabbed my coffee, ready to leave the house.

" Brian and Dave, just left, and Connor's on call," Shawn told me as I grabbed my house keys. "I'll be home tonight. Bri and D will be home by lunch, so call one of them if you need to come home early. " He kissed my head before opening the door for me, and telling me to 'have a good day'.