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scarletarosa · 3 years

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Sins for the Left Hand Path

The concept of Sin has always been tricky to define, especially when moving away from the Right Hand Path perspective. What is sin? Are there some things that are universally condemnable? Is there a superior set of moral rules, overruling those of mortal society? Is all morality subjective, or is there a code of Ethics or something similar that applies in a more absolute way, no matter which society and subgroup asks that question? These points are difficult to prove, because there won’t be any agreement between different parties; also, a consensus can only be reached if there is no other way but to accept certain conditions for the arguments, and this has been notoriously hard to do, especially when people use argumentative ways or various philosophical schools to support or to disprove their theories.

In attempting to define what Sin is, I will first remove the concept of automatic stigma or blame from the equation. By automatic I mean the easy condemnation across the board if someone does something, without taking into account the specific circumstances for the act or one’s own mental state. Does that mean that all types of Sin are excused, or pardonable? No. Of course not. But in attempting to understand what Sin is, we must first reach an agreement on the foundation of stone of this concept. It simply means, to err. It is a faulty or wrong approach on something that is disadvantageous to the person or to someone else, or even the whole of humanity. Is it possible to avoid erring? No. In fact, it’s part of our nature to err. It’s through the process of erring that we learn and we evolve. So there should be no inherent blame in erring, when ignorant of the error or the consequences.

But here’s the thing; people often use excuses for themselves, because they don’t like being put on a bad spot. So they pretend not to see what they do, or they quickly disregard the outcomes of their actions, choosing to be superficial about many things and their consequences. Also, by being superficial they make a conscious choice to remain ignorant, either because it’s easier for them, or because they have a good excuse for doing the wrong thing. So it is safe to conclude that while ignorance as a starting stage is not a sin, choosing to remain ignorant is certainly a bad thing, leading to many errors; so we can call willful ignorance a sin.

A denial of certain obvious truths is another such sin. For example, we know that things change and that Change in fact is a major force in everyone’s life. To stubbornly hold on to disproved ideas, superstitions, problematic mentality, and so on simply because there’s a refusal to change, is not the best approach in life. Also, anything that condemns us to a life of subservience to oppressors and tyrants for no other reason other than them being some sort of appointed rulers should be equally abhorrent, similar to a life enslaved and made to do things that violate one’s essential freedoms. So whatever causes this could also be listed among the sins.

One can make such a list of things that are to be aware of and to avoid, if wanting to lead a healthy and balanced life. For those walking on the left hand path (LHP), like myself, I have attempted to compile such a list, which is by no means complete. Feel free to add whatever you deem necessary.

1. Desire to remain ignorant or naïve.

Obstinacy to gain knowledge, and having boredom or idleness towards improving oneself will certainly lead you to become one of the herd. In almost any case in life, ignorance or naivety leads to exploitation and further drama. To protect oneself, quite the opposite should be sought after. Becoming truly transformed through wisdom and Truth is always a difficult process, which requires sacrificing the mundane self which latches onto simplicity, sentimentality, and having a bubble of comfort. Reality is often harsh, and the Left Hand Path is for those who seek to be warriors in the face of adversity, as it will teach us through struggle and make us stronger. In this path, our limitations must be shed, and our minds must be fully accepting of the actual reality of things, no matter if it is painful or not. Ignorance will lead us nowhere in the end, and will keep us small and stagnant. To Transform, our weaknesses, fears, and old perspectives must die.

2. Deliberate narrow-mindedness.

Refusing to change attitudes and perspectives when shown a better way or the truth of something. Stubbornness, rigidity /inflexibility, adherence to customs and old habits even when proved to be a fallacy or superstition.

3. Endorsing Abrahamist mentality.

Servitude (all are slaves to God), guilt-tripping (born with the original sin), forced indoctrination/induction from young age (like baptism, circumcision etc), enslavement of the mind (against scientific discoveries), inferiority of women (Bible and Q’ran statements etc), scapegoating (blaming others or Satan for their own faults and misbehaving), not taking accountability (Vatican not apologizing for former grave errors), promoting racial hatred and genocide (crusades etc), violation of sacred lands (Native Americans, etc), legitimization of torture and persecution (Inquisition), thus violating essential human rights, against contraception (thus promoting unwanted pregnancies, and diseases like HIV spreading in poor countries), using falsified documents as evidence and miracles that didn’t happen as proof of divinity or divinely appointed status, and arrogance to other spiritual people who belong to different groups.

4. Overtly merciful.

This makes others overtly dependent upon the giver, and puts the giver into a disadvantageous position, or weakening their resource pool. Mercy must be tempered by reason, and in certain cases, by severity. People tend not to take too seriously those who give too easily. Also, such actions will discourage the person in the weaker position to do anything to improve their situation, and will make them idle and dependent on others for all their lives. Tempered mercy would be to empower the weaker person, and even heal them or assist them in finding some opportunities, and then let them fly with their own wings. Another issue is that mercy and forgiveness are far too often given to the undeserving. Many may view this as being "strong" or "noble", but this actually creates more issues, and appropriate justice is therefore not delivered. By being merciful towards those who are not deserving of it, the guilty ones will feel more inclined to continue their wrong-doings. In these cases, such mercy breeds more evil into the world, as the people who are overtly merciful are too weak-willed to bring the deserving justice to the guilty, rooting out their corruption. Mercy should only be shown to those who are genuinely regretful of their mistakes, and are making an active commitment to changing themselves for the better.

5. Ingratitude when helped, or receiving help after asking.

Nobody likes this, whether they are a human being or a deity. It is good to have manners, especially when you ask for assistance. When you are given help, you should show appreciation. To say that “it would have happened anyway”, or “it was random, an accident”, is certainly the wrong thing to say. Even if the spirits don’t penalize you, they will certainly be unimpressed by you. This would also damage your credibility and the chance of assistance in the future.

6. Greed.

The insatiable desire to consume or to obtain more and more, common to anyone in a position of power. This includes any person holding sufficient money to fulfill their greed, or having enough power through civil status, religious rank, or military strength to be able to do that. But aside from the State, Corporations, Church, and Military, civilians can be greedy, to a lesser degree, in an equally damaging setting, causing misery to others and inequalities in society.

7. Envy.

This is most common to those who lack power or means to achieve their desires, and seeing others who have what they don’t. It is not exclusive to them, however, as it can be met in others with power, and yet sufficient hatred for others that would be in the same position as them, as they don’t want to share the privileges of such a position. This category lives in a state of perpetual envy; it is commonly met among millionaires (either through inheritance, investments, private enterprises and companies, and others), media and film stars, singers, and so on. Envy is not just feelings of contempt, like some may assume. It is a venomous emotion which roots itself into the heart, blinding the person from their own joys and valuable things, making them feel bitter and spiteful towards others. Envy is the cause for many lost companionships and lost opportunities, as it will strike out and pollute others who are the targets of this envy, even including the person's own gifts in life (such as friends).

8. Herd mentality.

Following fashions, trendiness and media craze, or mass scare, not because you truly came to these conclusions or you actually like it, but because you are swept by the current of the masses and don’t want to stand out in any way. Sometimes it happens due to fear of rejection, but it doesn’t stop being wrong. Feeling the need to be part of the crowd takes away your own individuality and makes you feel as if you cannot question the others. Being afraid of becoming an outcast is no excuse for this; you are either part of the issue or you stand against it. Empower yourself, understand your own values and stand up for them- not because it’s what others say is right or you feel pressured, but because your inner self tells you it is so. This is why it is so important to Know Yourself, rather than be swept away by the mundane expectations of society, the peer pressure on social media, or the dark illusions of the governments.

9. Choosing common sense over wisdom.

Another failing, closely connected with Herd Mentality; common sense is useful sometimes and it provides a sort of common ground of what’s expected in a social context, or as an understanding of certain rules and laws. However common sense shouldn’t be valued to the point where investigation and timeless truths are shunned. One must also be aware that “common sense” depends on the society involved, since some so-called rationality is actually a limited perspective. Wisdom is certainly more important and useful in the long-term than supposed logic, and it should be preferred at any opportunity.

10. Being inclusive for inclusivity’s sake; being exclusive for exclusivity’s sake.

This first part typically means that one may hate loneliness or feeling out of a group, so they conform with the group ideals even when they don’t like or agree with them. It can cause frustration, oppressive feelings, guilt and taking part in activities that the person may consider bad or immoral in some way, but they feel forced to comply nonetheless. The second part refers to someone who desperately attempts to stand out of their social group, for no other reason but being something special.

11. Anything that obstructs clarity of vision.

Frequent heavy intoxication or misuse of drugs/alcohol. Drugs are not to be for recreational use, but for Shamanic practices. Alcohol is okay, and getting drunk should be done seldomly, in mature and responsible ways. Though addictions of all kinds are fully discouraged. Substances which cause loss of self-control and/or bodily damage should be avoided at best, since these are against the Luciferian values of clarity of mind and self-mastery. You don’t need to be temperate however, as you can become reasonably intoxicated when you please, as long as you drink responsibly. Drugs are fully discouraged unless under Shamanic supervision, or you yourself are of this expertise. This is because drugs are easily addictive, can cause dangers, and because astral parasites and tar spirits will be drawn towards the person in such a state, which can cause issues if not prepared.

12. Disrespecting the spirits.

Humanizing or objectifying the spirits is something that irritates many of them, and this doesn’t change with making them look cute, having unwanted lust, or forcing them into relationships with humans that they didn’t ask for (spirit-shops, etc), or portraying them in a disrespectful manner (making jokes with them or mocking). Especially when working with entities or doing magick, this is a serious matter and consideration must be taken when dealing with spirits. Treating the gods or other beings as if they are meant to grant wishes is also disrespectful; the gods don’t owe you anything, as they are around as wise guides and guardians. If you want something, you can request it, but don’t act entitled or become offended if the deity or demon wants you to do some work in the process.

#sins of the left hand path #luciferianism #satanism #theistic #spirituality #demonolatry #demon work #left hand path #lhp #vices #values #empowerment #spiritual path #luciferian #satanic #demons

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generalfranky · 2 years

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made the mistake of looking at franky stuff on tik tok and realized I have another extreme frustration with people who hate frobin (specifically franky in that dynamic and how they use robin to do so).

I've seen A LOT of people say "dudebros hate frobin bc they self insert themselves onto zoro, not franky bc franky isn't conventionally attractive", and I think that's probably true but have more to say on that. Not sure if anyone will read this but I felt like writing out my thoughts.

I think more specifically, a lot of times it's just dudebros dudebroing (aka misogyny). They think Robin's hot and honestly that's what they care about, they don't really care about her being a multifaceted character or being interesting at all. so they don't care to learn about who she is/what she is interested in. bc why have an interesting female character? they don't care that she's a weirdo, that she has a genuinely good relationship with franky, how he's helped her with trauma, in fact they probably don't really care about her trauma much at all bc it seems they just genuinely don't pay attention to her character if they think she hates franky and finds him gross and all that.

Anyway I love that robin is a weirdo who loves dark humor and creepy things and cute things and finds strange things so amusing and when you erase that like you're just knocking down another layer of characterization, and they wouldn't knock down that characterization with male characters I just know it. But they do it so that they can say "franky is gross she would throw up at the prospect of them" and it makes total sense why they hate it, bc they literally just don't get or truly care about robin I think. So why would they ever fathom her being interested in franky of all men? So they'll self insert with any random character without being aware that it doesn't really make sense for robin.

So many female characters are made into the no nonsense, normal ones that are level headed and flawless and robin is so much more than that. Let a woman be different for once PLEASE. So to me, it makes complete sense that she would choose franky over "conventionally attractive" characters.

All the power to zorobin and lawbin shippers truthfully, I'm just speaking specifically on the dudebros who hate frobin and why I think some of them do. I hate this "robin should be with this man, no she should be with this man" because 1) it's so heteronormative like do we realize she could also end up with NO man? and 2) robin ships that aren't the one YOU SPECIFICALLY like are still valid.

thank you for coming to my tedtalk, in short, men are weird about women sometimes. if you made it this far please feel free to disprove me or add on to my point.

#nico robin #franky #frobin #robin #me

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thephantomessoftheopera · 3 years

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Notes on Gaston Leroux‘s „The Phantom of the Opera“ - Epilogue

<< Previous chapter “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known”

-Charles Dickens, “A Tale of Two Cities”

As we are coming to the end of the story, Leroux ties up a few more loose ends in the epilogue.

As for Raoul and Christine, their possible happy ending is only implied by what Erik told the Persian - that they had “taken a northbound train” and were planning to get married in secret. They have disappeared from the world, and Christine never appeared again on stage anywhere. According to Leroux, they might have finally settled in Norway together with Mama Valerius. At first, I thought Leroux might have been confusing Sweden and Norway, but when I did a little research on the name „Daae“, it turns out that the name is actually most prevalent in Norway, with almost no occurrences in Sweden. It is also implied that even if they took that “northbound” train before, Christine took a train back to Paris a few weeks later to return to Erik, because she had the wedding ring on her when she left, and it was finally found on Erik‘s finger.

As Philippe‘s death was deemed to be the consequence of the fight between the two brothers over Raoul’s supposed engagement to Christine, Raoul was a murder suspect - but as his previous testimony had already made him appear a lunatic in the eyes of the Commissary, Philippe‘s death was ultimately pronounced accidental. However, as Parisian society had taken less than kindly to the news of the engagement, I think that the couple would have had a very difficult standing if they had officially married and assumed the now vacant titles of the Count and Countess de Chagny. It is therefore likely that Raoul, having officially disappeared, never claimed his titles and inheritance, and chose the more simple lifestyle that Christine was accustomed to. Leroux concludes the story of Raoul and Christine with the statement that one day, he too might „hear the solitary echoes of the Northland repeat the singing of the woman who knew the Angel of Music''. In the epilogue, the boundaries between the „false“ and the „real“ Angel of Music become blurred, as Leroux repeatedly speaks of Erik as the “Angel of Music” - indicating that maybe, just maybe, Erik truly was the Angel of Music.

After following up on Raoul and Christine, Leroux relates how he obtained proof of Erik‘s existence from the Persian, mostly through the letters written by Christine that Erik had sent to him, but also through the testimonies of Meg Giry and La Sorelli. He supposedly placed all the proof he had gathered in the archives of the Paris Opera.

He also obtained the testimony of M. Poligny, the previous manager of the Opera. The „Opera Ghost“ affair was the final straw that made him resign his post, which again indicates that Erik‘s reign as „O.G.“ was rather short and caused by Erik falling in love (since he had been living in the Opera House presumably since the early 1870s). He also quotes from the fictional „Memoirs of a Manager“ by Armand Moncharmin, where Moncharmin relates that a few days after Christine‘s abduction, Erik returned all of the forty thousand francs he had extracted to the managers, no longer having any need for the money as he had given up his plan to marry Christine. The mystery of the safety-pin is also finally resolved, as Leroux was supposedly able to locate a small trapdoor in the floor of the managers’ office, through which a dexterous magician like Erik could easily have reached up and retrieved the envelope from Richard‘s coattail pocket as it was hanging down from his chair.

Leroux also notes that the marble pillar next to Box 5 sounds hollow and would offer ample space for Erik to hide inside it. According to Gérard Fontaine’s research, the pillars being hollow applies to all the pillars in the auditorium of the Palais Garnier. Whether that proves or disproves anything is up to you... Leroux’s plan of having the lake drained in order to obtain the ultimate proof of Erik‘s existence - finding the entrance to the house by the lake - did not go through, but Leroux still sustains his hope of one day finding the score of „Don Juan Triumphant“ there (that is, if Christine had not taken it with her when she came to bury him).

Leroux then gives a summary of Erik’s life according to the Persian. Erik was born near Rouen in France and ran away from his parents as a young boy, as they were afraid and horrified by how he looked. After being exhibited as a “living corpse” at fairs, he became a singing sensation and garnered a reputation that reached as far as Persia. The daroga of Mazenderan was sent to bring Erik to Persia as entertainment for the “little sultana”. Erik, who also worked there as an assassin, is described here as amoral, “not knowing the difference between right and wrong”. Even though he does not have an evil heart, his life up until this point has left him completely without a moral compass of any kind.

After building an ingenious palace for the shah, Erik’s execution was ordered so that he could not divulge its secrets to anyone. The daroga was supposed to carry it out, but as he owed Erik favours (and was the one who brough Erik to Persia in the first place), he helped him escape instead. He was punished for this and went into exile to Paris. Erik took a detour to Asia Minor and Constantinople before he ended up in Paris as well. It is also mentioned that Erik could make lifelike automata, which is reflected in the musical in the form of the monkey music box and also the “mirror bride”, a physical representation of Erik’s dream of a loving wife.

Once in Paris, Erik decided that he finally wanted to live a normal life, and placed a successful bid to work as a contractor on the Opera House. Wishing to hide his face from the world forever, he built his comfortable home into the foundations of the Opera. Erik’s plan to live out the rest of his life in peaceful tranquillity went well - until he crossed paths with Christine Daae and lost his heart to her completely. And the rest is history…

Leroux here gives his own view of Erik: “He had a heart great enough to hold the empire of the world, and in the end he had to be content with a cellar.” With a normal face, Erik, with his brilliant mind and extraordinary talents, could have had the world at his feet. And even though no one had ever loved him, he still had a heart capable of feeling deep, pure love, which is pretty remarkable. His beautiful voice is a reflection of the beauty he carries inside his soul - which was sadly eclipsed by his ugliness, which did not allow him to live “like everyone else”. The great tragedy of his life was his face, which kept others from treating him as a human being and recognizing his full potential. He is therefore clearly worthy of pity, instead of being cursed and condemned as evil.

Leroux had already mentioned in the Prologue that he believed the skeleton found in the cellars of the Opera was Erik’s. Now he finally reveals why he was so certain of that: because Erik’s skeleton wore the gold wedding ring on his finger, which Leroux believes Christine had placed there. Even though Erik had set her free and given her the ring, she later came back to him, and this time it was certainly not out of terror. With Erik dead, none of his threats would hold any more sway over her - and yet, she still returned to him to keep her promise. She not only buried him with the wedding ring, but she slipped it onto his finger, ultimately fulfilling her promise to accept him as her husband. In a sense, she buried him with her love, and that is truly a bittersweet and beautiful ending. After everything he had to endure, Erik’s life ends with a kiss and a ring on his finger, put there by the woman he loved more than his own life, and with Leroux praying for his salvation. That may not be a traditional happy ending, but it‘s very powerful. And it’s definitely not a villain’s ending.

As „Faust“ is the most strongly referenced work in „Phantom“, it is also worth comparing how the endings are different. In the final act of Gounod‘s opera, Faust and Marguerite first swear their love to each other, but when Marguerite sees Mephistopheles and realizes who Faust really is, she turns away from him and chooses death instead, while Faust is dragged into the fires of hell. Her famous last words to him are „You horrify me!“ In „Phantom“, the progression is almost the other way round - Christine is horrified at first, but then accepts Erik and chooses life instead of death.

It should also be noted that the ending in the novel is so vague that it also allows a lot of room for the reader’s imagination. Was Erik really dead when Christine returned? He himself was announcing his death, so it would not even be so very unlikely. But as this is Leroux’s story, the official reading would of course be how he himself imagined the ending: Erik dying and Christine coming back to bury him. This might be my favourite line from the novel:

“The skeleton lay near the little fountain, where the Angel of Music first held the unconscious Christine Daae in his trembling arms after taking her into the cellars of the Opera.”

As if the return of the ring was not enough poetic closure, he also asked to be buried in the very spot where he held the love of his life for the first time...

Symbolism and Metaphors

Now that we have concluded the epilogue, I would like to add a few more notes on the general themes which are present throughout the novel and still influence how we feel about it today.

To understand the extent of symbolism employed in „The Phantom of the Opera“, it is necessary to understand the cultural mindset and environment in which it was written. At the turn of the century, the arts (and sciences, as evidenced by the slowly emerging works of Sigmund Freud) were rather obsessed with the fateful connection between Eros and Thanatos - love as the life-bringing force, and death as the destructive force. Both were often seen as intertwined and mirrored in the other.

Erik is the personification of Eros and Thanatos. He unites both forces in him to a degree unparalleled by any other character in the story. The death symbolism that is also clearly reflected in how he is described, would be both perceived as horrifying - and yet not without a strangely seductive fascination inherent in it. Death is intricately tied to darker feelings of passion and desire.The “Eros” and the “Thanatos” part of his character are intertwined, but his character also oscillates between the two sides in the course of the story.

Music in „Phantom“ also serves as a metaphor for romantic love, not only in the spiritual but also in the physical sense, as it is connotated with “passion”, “fire”, “ecstasy” and “rapture” throughout the story. Erik’s teaching awakens “an ardent, voracious and sublime life” in Christine, symbolizing the burgeoning romantic feelings in the young woman. She is terrified with the changes going on in her, which is also in line with how „Eros“ was originally viewed: as a frightening loss of control. Erik says in “Apollo’s Lyre” that “some music is so formidable that it consumes everyone who approaches it”, and Christine states that “Music has the power to abolish everything in the outside world except its sounds, which go straight to the heart”. In both sentences, the word “music” can easily be replaced with “love” - especially in Christine’s example, it would be the musical equivalent of “love is blind”.

Like in other (gothic) romances - “Wuthering Heights” being perhaps the prime example - the two rivals in the principal love triangle represent two very different types of love: one is intense and passionate, but also consuming, terrifying and potentially destructive, and the other is safer, but also somewhat chaste and lifeless. Erik and Raoul each represent one of the two extremes. This contrast is exemplified in the scene at the Masked Ball: Raoul wears white, the colour of innocence, while Erik wears red, the colour of passion, but also of danger and blood.

It is suggested in the novel that Erik and Christine were chained together by fate (“La destinée m’enchaîne à toi sans retour”), and I believe they were destined to save each other. Erik saved Christine from her grief in the wake of her father’s death and brought her back to life, and Christine saved his soul by being the first person in his life to accept him and grant him true happiness. „Phantom“ may be a tragic love story, but it is also a hopeful one, as love proves stronger than death. Christine’s choice, Erik‘s sacrifice and the skeleton’s wedding ring are all symbols of love triumphing over death.

#phantom of the opera #lerouxreadingguide #leroux phantom #gaston leroux #leroux erik #christine daae #erik x christine #le fantôme de l'opéra #the phantom of the opera #erik the phantom #raoul de chagny #opera ghost #classic literature #gothic romance

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gumnut-logic · 3 years

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Virgil hurried through post-flight. The rescue had been a simple one, fortunately. He had been able to manage it on his own and in the shortest time possible. There were matters at home he would be more comfortable seeing to in person.

Sure, there was nothing serious to be concerned about.

He told himself that as he lowered Two’s hatch and leapt onto the concrete hangar floor.

Really, it was only a flu.

One that had kept his helmet on the entire rescue. God forbid if he transmitted anything to people already in dire straits with their health.

Fortunately, standard procedure kept both him and their equipment bug free.

He still didn’t like it.

Removing his helmet was bliss itself as he strode into the lockers. A few breaths later he had taken off his uniform, baldric and all; stashed what needed stashing and chucked the rest in the laundry.

The hot shower was absolute bliss.

So okay, there may be some aching muscles, but the exosuit had been needed. He could handle it.

He didn’t luxuriate in the water, he had more important things to attend to.

A towel and a loose jumpsuit later and he was padding barefoot up into the depths of the villa in search of the one brother who had been on his mind the entire rescue.

He found him in his bedroom.

The holoprojector was projecting some kind of fish and there was music blaring...well, it could be called music, he guessed. It sounded more like recycling bin lids being smashed together or that time Two dropped a pod onto the hangar floor from twenty metres up.

His brother lay prone on his bed, eyes closed, brow wrinkled, skin pale.

Virgil fished the remote out of a limp hand and hit the kill switch.

The sudden silence was a blessing.

“Wha-?” Bleary eyes opened and sought out the cause. “Birg?” A slow blink. “Whatcha do that for? Pu’ it back on!” A hand flailed for the remote and missed.

“Gordon, you were told to rest.”

“Don’ wanna. Wanna die fightin’.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “You’re not dying. You have the flu.”

“Dyin’. Tell Penny I love her.”

It was at this point Virgil realised the state of the room. “What the hell have you been doing?” There were food wrappers, crumbs and a smeared slice of cake on the bedcovers.

“Last meal. Wanna go out ‘appy.”

“If you’re eating, you’re on the mend.” Which was a good thing and had Virgil feeling immeasurably better, but his brother’s bed was a rubbish tip and definitely a health hazard. His fingers darted over the covers, nabbing wrappers and several empty crisp packets. “You are a slob.”

“I’m a dyin’ slob. I live an’ die true to my nature.”

“You can say that again.” Virgil grabbed a recycle bin and a pair of latex gloves and began shovelling crap off his brother’s bed.

“Hey, that was still goo’.”

Virgil eyed the half-eaten pancake with congealed cream. “Perhaps, if you want to add food poisoning to your death certificate.” It was tossed into the bin. “Where did you get pancakes from anyway?”

“Stash. Emergency stash. I’ secret.” Gordon flopped in a dramatic way. Particularly dramatic since he was still lying down.

An arched eyebrow. “Sure.” But the next wrapper contained the remains of a stick of Blackpool Rock.

Virgil held it up, examining it. “Gordon, is this mine?”

Foggy brown eyes peered up at him. “Oh.”

“Gordon! Penny gave them to me.”

“But I wanted some.” It was such a whine, it was painful.

“Then why didn’t you ask her to get you some?”

The grump that appeared on his brother’s face was almost comical. It would be more comical if Virgil wasn’t holding back the urge to add strangulation to his brother’s supposed death certificate.

As it was, Gordon’s mumbled response was a clear indication that he had asked Penny for some Rock, but had been denied in some manner.

Hence the thievery.

Virgil sighed. “You could have ordered your own.”

“Not the same.”

“But stealing mine is?”

“You don’t mind. You’re a softy and I’m sick.” Yes, that was definitely a childish pout.

“I’m a softy, huh?” He must remember to disprove that allegation and seek the appropriate revenge.

After his brother was better.

Virgil sighed.

Gordon knew him far too well.

“You suck.”

“I’m dyin’ here.”

Virgil shoved a slice of cake in the bin, followed by three more empty crisp packets and a cookie wrapper. For god’s sake, the rescue had only taken him an hour. How much could one flu-ridden aquanaut eat?

There was raspberry jelly in a big blob sitting in a crease of duvet fabric. For a split second, his mind registered it as blood and his heart skipped a beat.

“Gordon!”

“Wha-?”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Wa’ accident.”

“You could have cleaned it up.”

“Can’t. Dyin’.”

Oh, for crying out loud. “You’ll need to get out of bed and change the sheets.”

“Why?”

Virgil pulled back the edge of the duvet to uncover his brother for some motivation only to find a worm of spray cheese curled up beside him.

“My god.”

“Wha-?”

“Gordon, get out of bed.”

“Why?”

“I need to change the sheets.”

“Why?”

“Because you are disgusting, that’s why.”

“Don’ wanna. Dyin’.”

Oh, he was getting closer to dying by the moment. Fratricide. Definitely fratricide.

“Move your ass or lose it.”

“No.”

“Gordon.”

“Let me die in peace.” And as if to prove the point, his brother coughed a little and then burst into a horrendous fit, possibly attempting to turn his lungs inside out.

Virgil’s heart softened as he held him. “C’mon, Gordon, relax. Calm your breathing.”

Gordon let out a decidedly childish whimper and curled up under the rancid covers in a ball of misery.

Another attempt. “Let’s get you out of those bedclothes and into something clean. You will feel so much better.”

Gordon grunted. “Leeme ‘lone. Dyin’.”

Virgil straightened up, his back creaking. A sigh. Okay, they were going to have to do this the hard way.

Just like any mission, Virgil gathered his tools first. Fresh sheets, a spare duvet, pillow and pillow case. He stacked them up in strategic positions beside his prone and still moaning brother.

“Are you sure you don’t want to get out of bed, so I can change the sheets? You do realise I have a duty of care. One that means I have to make sure you don’t expire due to exposure to your own swill.”

“I’m not a pig.”

“Oh, yes, you are.”

“You hur’ m’ feelings.”

“Too bad. Get out of bed.”

“No.”

“Gordon...”

“No. Lemme die in peace.”

“Then you leave me no choice.”

He didn’t give his brother a chance to question that before ripping off the disgusting duvet and throwing it across the floor. Gordon yelped and curled up. He was only wearing pyjama shorts in typical Gordon fashion.

“Virgil!”

Without another word, he stripped the sheets from beneath his brother, whisking them away not unlike a magician removing a tablecloth from under fine china.

Gordon still yelped.

The pillow was chucked and with some determined aquanaut manipulation, the bottom sheet was replaced. Gordon squirmed under his grip. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What needs to be done.”

The pillow was replaced and the new duvet gently laid down.

Gordon grabbed at it as if it might suddenly disappear on him again.

“There, done. Please try to keep them clean this time otherwise I’ll do that all over again.”

“You are cruel.” Gordon glared a teary glare up at him.

Virgil grunted. “Yeah, well, you’re disgusting.”

“I’m dyin’. Give me a break.”

Virgil snorted and piled all the discarded bedclothes together and threw them down the laundry chute. He must remember to put in some serious germ killers in with that lot.

“Go to sleep, Gordon. You will feel better, I promise.”

“Hate you.” His little brother curled up into a ball of misery.

“Yeah, sure you do.” He couldn’t help himself, he reached out and brushed Gordon’s hair back from his forehead. He was a lot cooler than he had been earlier.

Thank god.

“You’re getting better. Get some sleep.”

Gordon mumbled something into the sheets and closed his eyes.

Virgil brushed his hair again, gently stroking his fingers amongst wavy strawberry blond.

He didn’t leave until his little brother’s breathing dropped into the regularity of sleep.

A small smile to himself and he headed towards the door.

Tripping on a stray soda can, he nearly fell flat on his face, barely catching himself on the edge of a desk.

His hand landed in something sticky.

Oh, god.

He bit back his brother’s name as he stalked out.

Disinfectant.

A hose.

Maybe Two’s water cannon.

Yes, his water cannon.

It would solve so many problems.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds #Virgil Tracy #Gordon Tracy #FishTank #gotta love them #nuttyfic reblog #spent all day playing with art #didn't write a thing

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wolfstar-supremacy-innit · 3 years

Text

"Tell who?"- Part 3

Remus smiled into his pillow. Why’s he so cute? He felt something rustle under his stomach. Reaching under himself, he pulled out a wrinkled piece of parchment. His resolutions list. Remus flipped onto his back and squinted at the letters. Warmth was pooling in his chest. Something is missing here. He patted the bed in search for his quill and ink, then wrote:

5. Fuck this I wanna tell him I love him

The paper slipped to the floor as Remus’ arms gave out and he drifted into an instantaneous, profound sleep.

Alternatively:

The Marauders are in their 6th year at Hogwarts, it's New Year's Eve and Remus writes a New Year's resolutions list. Sirius finds it the next day. The story is written from Remus' point of view. It's wolfstar and lighthearted. Kinda inspired by this fanfic.

This is part 3 of the story. I will be posting the other parts separately here and also the full fic on ao3 (I will link everything when it's done, check this post for that in some time). Warnings: underage drinking and smoking, mentions of anxiety disorder.

Part 1 Part 2

Enjoy <3

I’m such an idiot. I’m an idiot. Why didn’t I lie?! Why didn’t I disprove it? This was it. This was the end of the world. He knew Sirius wouldn’t react terribly badly. He wouldn’t express disgust or resentment, not after Remus confided in him about how sensitive he was on the question of his own sexuality. But it would be painfully awkward. Their connection would never be the same; it couldn’t. Remus dreaded losing his best friend. But it was done. Sirius’ best friend was James anyway. Remus buried his face in his hands as tears stung his eyes. He settled into his new hideout and slept there for the night. He couldn’t bear to face Sirius.

In the morning, Remus made an effort to arrive to Charms class as late as possible, right as Flitwick was commencing his lesson. He slid into the chair at the end of their usual table, next to James. Sirius was on the other end. “Where were you, mate? You scared us,” James whispered. Peter was gazing at Remus over his shoulder.

Remus cleared his throat. “Sorry, fell asleep in my spot,” he said. In his peripheral vision, Sirius was leaning far on the table, trying to catch his attention. But Remus took it upon himself to laser focus on the lesson, his nose buried so deep into his notes, it was nearly touching the parchment.

After the class, he bolted again. He just couldn’t face him. He couldn’t. He returned to his hiding place and waited out his free period and most of lunch. He had to repeat his breathing exercises more than ever. Suddenly, Remus paused. Determination was rising in his chest. Then he forced himself to pull it together. It wasn’t like Remus to run away from his problems. If being a werewolf had taught him anything, it was that neglecting and avoiding your issues doesn’t make them vanish. Makes them worse, even. Also, Remus didn’t have a lot. He had his parents, music, books, magic, and he had his friends. There wasn’t much he prised more than his friendships with James, Sirius and Peter. Sirius knowing about his crush was thoroughly embarrassing, yes, but it wasn’t worth completely losing his friends. Plus, he was due for a shower. So Remus took a few more deep breaths, dusted himself off, and headed for the dorm. When he got there, nobody was inside. He took his sweet time in the shower, allowing the warm water to drain out more of his nervous energy. I can handle this.

When Remus got out, Sirius was there, lying on his stomach, doing homework. He looked up. Remus put on a brave face and said: “Hi.” Sirius�� worried expression was exchanged with a slightly more relaxed one. “Hi.” Remus sat on his own bed looking in Sirius’ general direction, but not quite at him, cleared his throat, and said: “Um, sorry I bolted. That was childish.”

“That’s alright,” Sirius replied in the tiniest voice. It was very unlike his usual loud, assertive self.

Remus wanted the bed to swallow him whole, but he pushed through. “We don’t have to talk about the... thing. Or acknowledge it. It’s not a big deal, really.” A lie. But it needed to be done. Sirius didn’t say anything. Remus was certain he didn't know what to say. Reaching into his bag, Remus retrieved his Charms textbook and started on his own homework. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sirius still looking at him for another minute, then he went back to work. The silence was agonising and tense, but Remus had known it would be. They would just have to persevere. After a while, Sirius asked: “Hey, could you help me with this? It’s Arithmancy. I procrastinated, and now I have to hand it in in half an hour.” Remus snorted. Their next class was Arithmancy, and only he and Sirius took it. So, Sirius was choosing to act like nothing happened. That was okay with Remus. “Sure.”

Only, as it happens, Sirius didn’t ignore it. Throughout the next week, he started acting a little peculiar. He was still loud and fooling around, but he would also hold doors for Remus, for example. If anyone knew Sirius, they knew doors were either held for him, or he would just swing them open and let them slam behind him into the next person’s face. Even James noticed it and asked him if he had brain damage. Also, a couple times at meals, Sirius would scoot his seat closer to Remus’, making their arms brush while they ate. The first time it happened, Remus blushed so profusely, he could see giant pink splotches splattered all over his neck and cheeks in his reflection in one of the large silver bowls on the table. Sirius stopped calling him ‘mate’ too. Occasionally, he’d ask for help with his homework, even though he clearly didn’t need it. It all made Remus want to shoot himself in the face with a hex. It seemed like Sirius was pitying him, and he despised it. It was somehow worse than Sirius being awkward and distant around him.

January’s full moon fell on the 25th, and Remus’ transformation didn’t go particularly smoothly. It was likely one of the worst ones out of all those he spent with his friends as animagi. He was fairly confident it was because of the whole Sirius thing. Just because he decided to deal with it didn’t mean it wasn’t taking its toll. Remus was stressed all the time. Not just because of Sirius, of course, but that was a key factor. When he woke up in the hospital wing the following morning, his friends were there. James rambled on enthusiastically about an upcoming Quidditch match. Remus didn’t really comprehend half of it, but still tried to nod at appropriate times. Peter piped in once in a while to agree with James or add something. Sirius, however, was completely silent the whole visit. About an hour later, Madam Pomfrey chased James, Sirius and Peter out, but Remus didn’t mind too much. He was knackered. He drifted off to sleep before the boys were even out the door.

Later that day, at dusk, Remus sat in his hospital bed reading a muggle novel when Sirius popped in. Or rather sneaked in. He was alone this time. “Had a free period. Thought you might want some company,” he explained. Elation started brewing in Remus’ stomach.

“Oh, brilliant, thanks.”

“What are you up to, then?” Sirius sat on the bed.

Remus lifted his book. “Reading. Not much to do here, really.”

“Sweet. Will you read to me?”

“What?”

Sirius smiled. “Will you read out loud for me?” He turned around, plopped on the bed face-up with his boots propped up on the railing at the foot of the bed. He tucked his hands behind his head, half lying on Remus’ legs.

“Oh, okay.” Heat sneaked up Remus’ neck. He read to Sirius until it was almost time for him to leave for his next class.

“Transfiguration next. Think I’m gonna gouge out my eyes if we don’t move on from teacup to gerbil.”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it. You mastered it two lessons ago.” Remus rolled his eyes, smiling. Sirius let out a soft laugh.

“Moony...” He was now sitting on the bed next to Remus. “I feel like this is my fault.” He reached out and gently touched the bandage on Remus’ arm. Sirius was referring to Remus’ beat-up state.

“What? Of course not. Why would you think that?”

“Well, because of the... You know... I mean, you’re upset and-“ Remus’ heartbeat picked up swiftly. They hadn’t so much as mentioned the crush since that day in the dorm.

“I’m not upset. Really. I just have a lot on my mind.” He searched his brain for something more to say to make Sirius feel better. It wasn’t his fault at all. It was Remus’ for letting this bother him so much. “It’s not you.”

“You sure?” His eyes were so sad; it was painful.

“Yes, Sirius, really. It’s not you, okay?”

“Okay.” After a pause, Sirius continued: “Oh, I almost forgot. Brought you something.” He smiled, finally. After rummaging in his bag, Sirius emerged with a stack of chocolate bars and dropped them into Remus’ lap. They were Remus’ favourite. Warmth fluttered across his chest. Sirius had to have ordered these from Honeydukes. Now it was Remus’ time to smile.

“Oh, brilliant! Thanks, Sirius.”

“No problem. Right. I better clear off, then. I can’t handle another detention with Minnie for something as stupid as being late.”

“Right. See you in the dorm then.”

“See ya, Moony. Oh, loved the reading. We should definitely do that again!” Then he walked out the door. Remus’ cheeks flamed crimson. He sank deep into the covers, yanking them over his head. He’s gonna be the death of me.

***

After that visit at the hospital, another strange thing started happening. On several occasions, Remus caught Sirius staring at him, then quickly looking away when their eyes connected. In class, at meals, in the common room as the four of them sat in front of the fireplace doing homework. It made Remus very nervous and a little confused. Furthermore, with James’ upcoming match, Sirius and Remus found themselves alone more often than not. James either had practice or was in the library going over tactics for his team, and Peter loved tagging along. When Sirius and Remus were alone in the dorm, Sirius would usually suggest that Remus read to him. At first, they were in their respective beds, but then Sirius started sneaking onto Remus’ bed as he read. It made Remus’ heart thump every time, because Sirius Black in his bed, well. That was a sight to see. He would lounge on his back, one ankle over the other, hands behind his head, eyes shut, and listen. He never fell asleep. Occasionally, he would laugh or comment on an interesting segment.

One of those times, both of them were on Remus’ bed as Remus read “A Stranger in a Strange Land” by Robert A. Heinlein. Sirius liked the muggle books. He was in his usual disposition, with half of his hair loosely and messily pulled back with a hair tie. Remus adored that look on Sirius. He was sitting cross-legged in level with Sirius’ hips, with the book sprawled onto his lap.

“Hey, got a cig,” Sirius asked as Remus was turning the page.

“Yep.” He used Accio to fetch his rolling equipment from his bedside table, placed the contents on the rizla and performed his spell. It rolled smoothly, the tobacco and filter tucked tightly into the paper. He’d been practising.

“Hey, that’s one thing off your resolutions list,” Sirius said, smiling as he accepted the cigarette. Their fingers touched.

“Well, technically, it’s two, isn’t it...,” Remus trailed off, clearing his throat. Christ, why did I say that?! He could already feel the blood rushing in his ears. Maybe Sirius wouldn’t get the reference... But Sirius pushed himself onto his elbows and peered at him. Remus pretended to pack up his cigarette equipment with intense concentration. Sirius sat all the way up and leaned so close, Remus could feel his breath. Nervousness sparked off goosebumps all over Remus’ skin. He swallowed thickly. Sirius smelled of mint and expensive shampoo. “Moony,” he said, and Remus finally turned to face him. Their noses were less than two centimetres apart. Remus’ heart was hammering against his ribs.

Sirius glanced at his lips, then slowly leaned in and closed the distance. Remus fluttered his eyes shut as adrenaline set his insides ablaze. The kiss was warm and gentle. “Sirius..,” Remus started, but the other boy just connected their lips again, this time kissing him more eagerly, and Remus just gave over. Sirius was letting him know this wasn’t charity; he really wanted it. He licked into Remus’ mouth delicately, grasping the back of his neck to pull him closer. Remus had never had a real tongue kiss before, but Sirius was leading him, and it all came naturally. Without warning, he felt tears burning behind his closed eyes. Remus had never, not even for a moment, let himself get caught up in the idea of Sirius liking him back. He knew rejection would shatter his soul, and he couldn’t let himself be torn apart by his own fantasies. But it wasn’t a fantasy anymore, and Remus was overwhelmed with the relief of letting go. Of finally allowing himself to crave what he'd been pushing down for months. His favourite person wanting him back. He entwined his fingers into Sirius’ hair and kissed him back intensely. They were both breathing heavily, then Sirius placed his other palm on Remus’ upper thigh. A tingling sensation shot up his lower back as he inhaled a long breath through his nose. Sirius was remarkably skilled, Remus noted.

Remus lost all sense of time. He didn’t know how long they kissed, it simultaneously felt like minutes and hours. Suddenly, they leapt apart as steps and chatter echoed on the stairs leading to the dorm. Sirius stood up and hurriedly smoothed down his hair. Remus wiped his lips with the back of his hand and frantically covered his lap with the covers. He was tight in his trousers. Christ. He wondered whether Sirius noticed as the heat blazed his cheeks. Peter and James trudged into the room, still talking.

“Alright lads,” James said, sauntered to his bed and started taking off his Quidditch robes.

Sirius cleared his throat, then said: “Uh, yeah. Brilliant.” His voice came out lower that usual.

"Bloody amazing practice today!"

“Oh, you guys Should have seen them! I could barely keep track of the Quaffle! Ravenclaw hasn’t got a chance,” Peter prattled on, but Remus couldn’t focus. His brain was whirring a thousand miles a minute. Holy shit, was the only coherent sentence his mind could congregate. He could still feel the the ghost of Sirius’ kiss on his lips.

Minutes later, Sirius returned to his usual banter and mucking about with James. If something different was going on inside his head, it didn’t show. A sudden arrow of disappointment and yearning shot through Remus’ chest. Was this just a one-off? His excitement dwindled for a moment, but when he glanced over to Sirius again, he was already looking at him. They smiled at each other. It didn’t matter anyway. Remus felt like this kiss could power his brain for all eternity. It had been like something straight out of a dream.

Part 4 will probably take me a little longer, given that I basically had the first 3 parts drafted when I posted the first one. Also 4 will probs be the last one. Hope you like it so far! :) <3

Part 1 Part 2

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roselightfairy · 4 years

Note

If you're still doing fic recs, do you have any favorite AUs?

Oh, do I!! This is an EXCELLENT prompt, and I’ve had a lot of fun compiling this list tonight. I’ve ended up grouping it into two different sections: modern AU (because there are a lot of those!) and “other,” which are…non-modern AU, haha. For the most part I’ve left out UA (universe alteration, in which the universe is the same but something about the story changes), because I can’t think of any of those right now – but I know there are some really good ones of that as well!

So:

Modern:

like, comment, subscribe by DeHeerKonijn

Summary: A collection of fics that take place in my modern ‘verse, wherein Minas Tirith is a bustling city, Gimli is a professor at the university, and Legolas is a model-slash-influencer-slash-layabout.

…

Come on, you all knew this was going to be first on the list. The amount of worldbuilding @deheerkonijn has put into this series is absolutely breathtaking, and what you see on Tumblr is probably only the half of it. (Go stalk her Twitter, even if you don’t have a profile – I do it all the time!) This series is all she’s written for it so far, plus the fic that we cowrote about the OC roommates. But aside from that, the series has a whole assortment of always sexy, always funny, always sweet stories about Legolas and Gimli; go read them all!

No Place Like HoME by Flamebyrd

Summary: In which our heroes play a MMORPG called Heroes of Middle-Earth.

…

THIS IS SO GOOD. I love this premise so much, haha – Legolas and Gimli are just regular humans (with regular names, even!) and a rivalry they don’t even know about – but it turns out they’ve been playing each other in a game for quite awhile! It’s cute, fun, and creative, and I wish there were more.

life’s just a game (and it’s just your turn) by plinys

Summary: Legolas and Gimli try to have phone sex (or well, headset sex) with some unforeseen consequences.

…

I ADORE that these two as gamers is a fic idea that exists more than once, and this one is so fluffy with just a hint of spice (and a hefty dose of embarrassment, haha, but they deserved it!). Read it and grin!

Hold My Number by katajainen

Summary: It's a Saturday night at the A&E, and Gimli only wants to get to the triage nurse and be done with this whole stupid business.

That is, until he meets a tall, dark stranger (a ridiculously pretty one).

…

I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH. The crowning glory of meet-cutes (though it’s more of a meet-ugly, really), in which Legolas and Gimli meet at the emergency room for very embarrassing reasons . . . and hit it off right away, in a way that is adorable, delightful, and funny to watch. Read for their embarrassing stories, their adorable dorkiness (they’re gamers again!), and their undeniable chemistry.

Perfect Fit by mssileas

Summary: "Both of them were painfully aware that their physical differences were shockingly obvious – much more so than their also very different personalities. And that they usually led people to assumptions they weren't shy of declaring."

Or, Legolas single-handedly disproves all prejudice, and Gimli loves it.

…

This is a lovely (and smutty, so be warned) modern AU oneshot that challenges the stereotypes of these two based on how they look – and how they would probably be treated, if they were a couple in our world. If you’re interested in the modern AU premise but not the smut, there’s another oneshot set in this ‘verse, Christmas Body, that is mostly just fluff!

Other (non-modern):

The Earth Moves Under Our Feet (It’s A Loco Motion) by notanightlight

Summary: The West is still Wild. Gimli is working on the railway, Legolas is a gunslinger, and someone needs to turn this train around.

…

WILD WEST AU WILD WEST AU!! This story is one of my favorite things ever because it’s a WILD WEST AU and Gimli is an Irish immigrant and Legolas is an outlaw and they meet in a near-death situation and bond! It has wonderful worldbuilding, excellent banter, and little moments of flirting that almost hide below the surface of the aforementioned near-death situation, but not quite. ;) Please go read it, or listen to the amazing accompanying podfic by Morvidra, which is an astounding performance.

Nothing Doth Fade (But Suffers a Sea-Change) by notanightlight

Summary: Gimli has always heard stories about the seals that lived near the cliffs of Castle Durin. “They aren’t what they seem,” they’d tell him. Gimli never knew what to think of those stories, until the night he met a stranger on the shore, with the sea in his eyes and moonlight on his skin.

…

@notanightlight has too many amazing AUs to list them all here, but I have to give a shout-out to this one because SELKIES but also ANGST and SORROW and BETRAYAL but FORGIVENESS and HOPE and – I don’t know. It plays with a common and really sad trope, but gives our characters a way through that is hard and painful, but worth it, in the end – a story in which everything is not all okay, but in which that doesn’t have to be the end, if everyone is willing to work. Plus, Thranduil makes an appearance and he is magnificent.

Wild Hunt by consumptive_sphinx

Summary: There’s a knock on the door.

It isn’t quite dusk; it isn’t too dangerous yet. But still, it’s late to be out on Midwinter’s Night. What if he was held up somewhere?

Legolas takes a nail with him when he opens the door. “Gimli. It’s late.”

…

Fae AU!! consumptive_sphinx has many wonderful AUs and you should check out their whole profile, but I had to give this one a shout-out. It’s mysterious and tender and packs a whole lot of story between the lines of its 917 words and made me yearn for more!

The Monstrous Fellowship by IchijouKenichiro

Summary: Astrin's cousins Fíli and Kíli left to fight the forces of Mordor over two years ago, but there's been no word from them for the last six months. Being a woman of action and the one who always is there to get them out of trouble, Astrin disguises herself as the male warrior Gimli and joins the army to fight for them. But the regiment she joins is anything but typical. With troublesome hobbits, a religious fanatic, the undead, a golem, and even an elf, are the greatest dangers to come from her fellow man? And what secrets are they all holding onto?

A parody of Terry Prachett's "A Monstrous Regiment"

…

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. This is ACTUALLY a Monstrous Regiment rewrite of LOTR, with the Fellowship in the place of the Regiment, and the characters are – actually matched up really, really well. Full disclosure: I read this before I read Monstrous Regiment and went in fully prepared to ship Polly and Maladict… but it turns out they were extremely shippable anyway, so that turned out all right. ;) Seriously – this is an excellent fic, such a fun story, and such a good homage!

Aulë’s Gift by daisynorbury

Summary: "Our friendship endures these strange periods of inequality. You can't remember, and I can't forget."

A new chapter in Adina's classic Back to the Beginning cycle, wherein Aulë granted Gimli perpetual reincarnation. Two thousand years into the Fourth Age, Legolas meets the ninth version of his dearest friend. Told mostly from Gimli's amnesiac POV.

…

I don’t know if this story fully counts as an AU, but I’ve been longing to rec it for several lists and just – couldn’t ever quite find a category it fit into. AU is close enough, since even though the world is meant to be Middle-earth far in the future, it’s different enough to feel like another world. This is a reincarnation story of Legolas and Gimli set in the series referenced above (and recommended in a different list), and it deals with the extreme complication of the situation with so much sensitivity and grace that it rivets me. Even if I didn’t know @daisyfornost, it would be so obvious to me that an absolutely unbelievable amount of thought and care went into the worldbuilding, the writing, the creation of this story. It is such a labor of love, and that love is evident throughout the whole thing. Please go read it, but I warn you that you will have lots of feelings.

…

Thank you again for this amazing prompt, anon! Reminder to all that this is in no way a comprehensive list – I’m sure I’ve left out so many other wonderful stories. Please feel free to add your own, if you reblog this! And my usual reminder to please leave the author a comment if you read any of these and enjoy it. <3

#fic rec #my fic recs #legolas x gimli #nerdfriending #ask

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stayarmytinyzenmoa-l · 3 years

Text

Locked and Reloaded [Ch. 5]

Marvel AU

TW: Language, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Gun Violence, Implied Abusive Household

Genre: Action, Light Comedy, Angst

Pairing: NCT Dream x Reader

YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her)

(5/?) [First] | [Previous] | [Next]

[Main Masterlist] | [Locked and Reloaded Masterlist]

Word Count: 6.5K

Notes: It’s about time these members entered the story. I’m dropping this now instead of a Saturday upload because I’m getting my second dose of vaccine in about nine hours, and from how both of my parents reacted something tells me that I’m going to be incapacitated for the next two days, so I decided to finish this bad boy up now! Currently next on my list to work on is Infatuation, so I’ll see you in that update!

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in or condone these actions. I would never wish any of these actions to occur to the Idol(s) mentioned in the writings of these stories, nor do I wish any harm on them.

“That’s stupid,” you told your older brother. Baekhyun just laughed. You had just finished ranting to him how a majority of the premise of chemistry was ridiculous, being founded on one key theory that could be amended at any moment, something now set in stone or put to law. It was a theoretical science that clashed with the lawfulness of physics and the puzzle of biology. “Chemistry is literally the weakest link.”

“I don’t quite think so, songbird,” the nickname was sweet in his voice, it was one you had had for as long as you could remember. He leans against your desk and he points at the picture. “It’s just atomic theory.”

“Yeah, and it’s stupid. Imagine, all of this work, all seven hundred of these pages and countless other books could get proved incorrect if someone disproves it.”

“You read this entire textbook and that’s all you have to say about it?” Baekhyun raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Wah, you’re so amazing and you don’t even know it,” he hugged your head to his stomach and you pushed him away.

“Ew, you’re so gross,” you wiped the sweat from your face. “At least shower before coming into my room! You’re disgusting when you use the gym.”

“And miss my darling sister? No way, that and I came to congratulate you!” He points at the certificate on your desk just under your coffee mug. “Not every day you win the science fair… again.”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks,” you put a textbook over it. He was right, but it was hardly an achievement for you at this point, it was an expectation.

“What did you do this year?” None of them even showed up, the only person there to help you with your project was Jeno, but he was always there whether you liked it or not.

“You don’t know?”

“I was at the conference, remember?”

“Oh, right,” you sighed. “It was just an observation on bees.”

“Whoa! Bees are great! They’re so helpful for pollination, for honey, and so much more!” Baekhyun smiles. “Hey, your birthday’s coming up, right? Fourteen? Oh god, oh no, my songbird? A teen? I don’t think I can handle this.”

“You’re overreacting! It’s not like I’m going to be any different. Plus, I’m already a teen.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you have no idea. Thirteen is the one year free trial before you start having to pay to be a teen. Once you turn fourteen, ugh, I don’t even know how to say this,” Baekhyun fake cries and wipes away the invisible tears. “It’ll be like you’re a whole different person.”

“Stop that! Why are you acting so weird?” You laughed and turned to him. Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest and your smile dropped. You knew that look on his face better than anyone. “You’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I leave tonight,” he says.

“How long?”

“Maybe a week this time, dad wants to show me the properties over in Zone 8.”

“Seriously? What for?” The factories that far out from the city were nearly ghost factories, they just handled building the smaller removable parts of the weapons your father developed. You couldn’t think of a possible reason why Baekhyun would have to go out that far.

“I have no clue, maybe he just wants me to see the Byun system at a smaller scale,” Baekhyun sighs. “Will you be okay here?”

“Will I be okay here? Don’t make me laugh,” you slammed your textbook shut and stared at him. “She hates me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“She does! You’ve seen the way she talks to me when you’re not around, Baek, I genuinely think that woman wants to get rid of me.”

“She’s your mother.”

“No, she’s your mother.” You didn’t mean for it to come out as accusing as it did. But you could genuinely say that you never felt anything from her aside from the obvious disdain she must have held for you. But what could you do? You’d hate you too. If one day your husband showed up at your doorstep with a kid you didn’t recognize telling you to treat her as if she was your own, you’d despise that child’s existence. All you were was proof of infidelity, and your stepmother made that very clear. You were her daughter on paper alone, but in reality, you were nothing more than a freeloader. “I’m just the bastard kid from dad’s mistress.”

“Do not,” Baekhyun held a finger up and stared at you with an intensity you’ve never seen on his face before. Seriousness wasn’t something that Baekhyun often used, especially around you. “Do not ever reduce yourself to that. Do you understand? You are so much more than that and you can’t let anyone who says that to you bring you down, you cannot let that weigh on you. Who even told you that?”

“She did. Who else?”

“God…” Baekhyun looked away and huffed. He held his hand to his forehead and sighed. “Keep in touch with me, okay? Just one more year and I can take it to court.”

“Forget it, Baek,” you waved your hand. “It would never work. We have no proof.”

“Well,” Baekhyun pressed his lips together and placed a tape in front of you.

“A tape? Seriously?”

“Don’t hate on old tech, they’re still around for a reason. I have a walkman in my room, second drawer on my desk. Listen to it later, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” you placed the tape in your own drawer, out of sight and out of mind.

“Just wait for me, alright?”

“Yeah.”

“(Y/N), I’m serious.”

“I know.”

“I’ll be back, okay?”

“Okay, just go, dad’s probably waiting for you,” you opened your textbook again and stared at the passages on it. You had a really bad feeling about tonight, but you couldn’t quite place your finger on it.

“Love you, songbird.”

“I know.”

“Sungchan! Four o’clock!” You shouted towards the agent. Sungchan, moving a second too late was met with the spine of a book to his face, promptly knocking him out. “Aw, geez,” you shoved your bag under a table, hoping that it would be somewhat okay after the fight, and threw a metal tray, the circular object blocking one of the flying weapons from hitting Shotaro on his way to Sungchan.

“Thank you!” He shouts. He leans next to his best friend and tries to wake him up while the fight continued.

“I’ll try to keep you guys covered, but you might need to fill in for me eventually, Reaper’s not doing too good over there,” you stumbled over to the two and handed Shotaro one of the pillows from the couch. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, just knocked out, but I have to watch him just in case… you know.”

“I do, just make sure he’s fine.”

With Jeno’s sudden appearance the Sanctum became a new battleground. Ancient artifacts were being used left and right for battle, whether they were used correctly or not, and with incoherent shouts filling the previously calm room. Strange was doing his best to prevent anything potentially world-threatening from happening, the Sorcerer Supreme understanding the laws of the universe, as well as any of you did, while the Maverick worked to bring down Vulture. The surprise attack rendered them at an unfortunate disadvantage. Strange was more concerned with keeping the battle within the Sanctum than he was helping any of you out, which was entirely understandable.

“I got it!” Peter shoved back the bookcase that was about to fall on you.

“Thanks, Peter.”

“Just so you know I am so sorry I did not mean for any of this to happen I didn’t know.”

“Oh goodness, no hard feelings, Peter, it happens to the best of us,” you said to him. “There’s no way you could’ve known.”

“Thanks, (Y/N), that means a— Watch out!” He pushed you out of the way just as a shield lodged itself between you, you turned towards the source and saw Vulture, and you had to stop yourself from getting any more frustrated than you already are.

“Fucking hell,” you clapped your hands together and jogged in place. “Stretching before fights is good for you, Peter, don’t forget that,” you said to him. Then you saw Cap waving his hand. You pulled the shield from its spot and threw it back to him.

“Nice arm!”

“Don’t lose your shit!” You moved your head to the side just as a bullet whizzed past you. “And watch where you’re aiming!” You dodged another bullet as it ricocheted off of one of the metal artifacts of the Sanctum.

“I am,” Jaemin’s voice was steady despite the chaos. “Reaper!” Jaemin tossed one o the artifacts towards the other, particularly a sharp one, and Jeno drove it into the wall next to Vulture, just barely grazing the Follower. Vulture grabbed onto the back of Jeno’s neck, the razor claws on his hands emerging and sinking into the half-demon before Vulture slammed Jeno’s head through the wall.

“Urgh, I felt that,” you rubbed the back of your neck as the phantom pain shot through it. You quickly stepped back just as an eldritch whip snapped in front of you.

“Mr. Wong?!” Peter gasps.

“That one isn’t in our database,” Jaemin grabbed onto the whip as it went towards you again, ‘Wong’ staring at him with a slight confusion, to which Jaemin just tugged it away from the other’s hands, watching the concentrated energy dissipate.

“Well then add him later, dammit,” you charged towards Vulture but soon felt something wrap around your ankle. You looked at the portal next to your foot and the hand around it. “Ew! Oh my god!” You yanked it out of ‘Wong’s’ grasp and shot towards him, the bullets disappearing before they could get anywhere close. No wonder it was so fucking convenient, you hoped whoever the real Wong was and where he was currently wasn’t too horrible.

“We should name this guy,” Jaemin dodged the eldritch disk that nearly sliced his throat. “I’m thinking Frisbee.”

“Oh come on, let’s stay true to tradition and wait for Hyuck,” you pulled a sword from the suit of armor next to you and blocked the whip again. You turned the hilt in your hand and smiled. “Ooh, I like this. You know my ex used to be an expert fencer.”

“I almost forgot about that one,” Jaemin hums. “What’s with sleeping beauty over there?”

“Got hit in a face with a book.”

“Oh that’s good, one less bomb we have to worry about.”

“That’s rude,” you scolded him.

“Can someone help me over here?!” Jeno’s pissed off voice came from the office. He pushed himself up from the rubble and cracked his neck before his knuckles. “I’m going to kill this guy, fuck the Agreement.”

“Does the Agreement even apply this far out?” You asked. Jaemin pulled out his phone briefly. The Agreement was offered by the D98 Avengers, basically promising not to do any dimension altering things, but it was just a promise, nothing was set in stone and thus was lacking in any legality. It was a gentleman’s promise, so to say.

“Technically it doesn’t, D62 is far out of D98 bounds. And since none of the Avengers are here…” Jaemin let Jeno fill in the blanks himself.

“Good,” Jeno tapped his wrists together, a blood-red magic circle appearing between them.

“Wait, do you guys hear that?” You looked around while skillfully parrying evil Wong’s attacks.

“Hear what?” Shotaro was nursing the passed out Sungchan while blocking any projectiles that made their way towards him.

“It kind of sounds like screaming,” Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows.

“No, it sounds like… no, of all the members to send,” you groaned. Then the sound of doors crashing open accompanied the chaos that was the Sanctum while a familiar face ran in head first, literally, screaming his head off, and rams into Dr. Strange.

“I got this one, V! Don’t worry!” Chenle shouts.

“You idiot he’s on our side!” Jeno grabs a polearm from a nearby suit of armor and whacks it over Vulture’s head, the polearm breaking in half right after and really just pissing off the Follower more.

“Oh is he? Sorry!” Chenle detached himself from the sorcerer.

“Looks like we’ll be having a change in plans,” Strange murmured and disappeared from the room.

“Did the wizard just dip?!” You yelled.

“I think so!” Chenle yelled back, despite being right next to you.

“Why are you even here?!”

“We were talking to Fury when Jeno just fell into a sudden pool of blood! I followed your tracker here because I figured you’re in trouble. Be grateful!”

“I never said I wasn’t?!” You heard a pang next to you and turned to your side, a circular shield blocking your vision for only a brief moment before connecting with Other Wong’s abdomen.

“Thanks,” you nodded towards Steve.

“No problem,” he says. “But where’d that bullet come from?” Cap looks around the room. Jaemin rushes next to you and grabs something, pointing it upwards. Within a few moments, someone materializes next to him. A classic cloaking spell, of course, right when you needed it most.

“Monsieur,” her voice was hoarse.

“Lynx,” you saw him grimace while the woman drove a knife into Jaemin’s side and twisted it harshly. A loud groan left the man’s throat while you darted next to him and tackled the woman to the ground.

“I like your D62 version better!” You pressed your gun to her head and she threw you off before you could pull the trigger.

“Nat!?” Steve blocked another gunshot from her with his shield.

“Not Nat,” Bucky answers.

“Where have you been?”

“This thing’s still glowing,” Bucky held up the crystal.

“Give that to me!” Chenle appears next to them and grabs it. “You meaty idiots don’t know what to do with this.”

“Was that an insult?”

“Apperio!” Chenle ignored the Captain and chanted the charm, a magic circle appeared around the crystal. Following the ripple of two blue circles that expanded throughout the room, two more people appeared.

“There’s more of them?!” You shot Vulture in the leg. Before you were two other notorious members of the Elite. Arachnid, who you fought before, and Dead Shot, someone you were hoping not to run into in this dimension. “Someone get Parker out of here as soon as he touches Arachnid it’s over!” You shout.

“Oh please, I wouldn’t even try that. What good is this mission if any of us blow up the dimension while we’re at it,” Arachnid catches the flying dagger and flings it back towards Jaemin, who easily dodged it.

“We have orders to keep you alive, Vendetta, comply and the others will live,” Dead Shot spoke in his trademarked mechanical voice.

“Fuck that,” you pointed your gun at Arachnid and click. Click, click. “Well, this is awkward,” you chucked the magnum at Arachnid, the handle of the gun hitting the area between the mutant’s eyes and stunning him briefly, while Dead Shot released a flurry of bullets. You ran along the wall to dodge them, looking for something to shield yourself with now that Cap and Bucky were busy with Lynx, Jeno had Vulture busy, and Jaemin moved over to Arachnid so that Peter could handle Evil-Wong instead.

“Surrender or be forced to, Vendetta.”

“Well, shit,” you held a book in front of you while Dead Shot went through consecutive rounds.

“How could you not know a Follower was here?!” Jeno was pushed back next to you while deflecting Vulture’s attacks.

“How the hell was I supposed to know?! I didn’t even know that those three were here until a couple of minutes ago!”

“Are you kidding me?!”

“No, I’m not kidding you because if I was we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“It has been thirty minutes! I let you and Jaemin go for thirty minutes and this happens!”

“In our defense,” Jaemin gets pushed back to the other side of you and clears his throat. “Peter brought us here.”

“I said I’m sorry!” Peter brushes off the embers on his suit. “Aw man, how am I going to explain this to Mr. Stark?”

“Explain? Have you been reporting us to him?!” You asked.

“Uh… no,” Peter’s phone goes off and he answers it. “Hi, Mr. Stark, there’s kind of a situation going on right now—”

“Tell them not to come here! If any of the other Followers show up it could tear the fabric of reality apart!” Chenle shouts. A magic circle appears under Peter’s phone and it short circuits. Chenle adjusts the watch around his wrist, a much larger magic circle appearing from it.

“Vocavi te ab umbris,” at the utterance of the words the shadows in the room gathered together to a much larger amalgamate. “Go, Vendetta, I’ll keep them handled.”

“Fuck,” you spotted your backpack, which was pushed up against the wall on the other side of the room.

“What now?” Jeno asks.

“Backpack.”

“What about it?”

“There’s something really important in there,” Jaemin sounded disappointed. “We could hole-in-one it, V.”

“We could,” you said. “But that risks shaking it up too much.

“Hot potato then?” Jeno offers.

“Who would start it?”

“The closest person is Shotaro, if he throws it far enough I could probably catch it,” Jeno says. “Pass it over to Jaemin.”

“Then I’ll pass it to you. But by then you need to be in that hallway,” Jaemin says.

“Got it, I can do that.”

“And if anything goes wrong?”

“Wing it.”

“We’re going to die in this dimension, aren’t we?” Jeno frowns.

“On the count of three, break,” Jaemin says, ignoring his best friend’s words. You hand Jeno the old sword, which he took without question. “One.”

“What do I need this for?”

“Well, I certainly don’t need it.”

“Two.”

“Wait, are we even on the same page?”

“I don’t know, are we?”

“Three!” Jaemin shoved you forward and you took off, dodging literally everything on your way to get out and probably get some more help.

“Shotaro! Pass me that backpack!” Jeno shouts over the gunshots. Shotaro perked up and grabbed the black bag, chucking it towards Jeno, who caught it easily. “Monsieur— Fuck, too far, Apollo! Pass this over to him!” Jeno tossed the backpack towards Chenle, the heavy bag slamming into the magician mid-spell.

“What the hell?!”

“Pass it here!” Jaemin knocked over Lynx and used her head the propel himself up and grab the backpack after Chenle threw it. He ran over towards you and threw it. Right as your hand grabbed the strap, it was yanked away from you.

“Fuck!” You looked back at who had it now, seeing your backpack in the hands of the last person who should have it. You were about the run over to him, but the bullet that landed too close for comfort reminded you that you had to leave now. “Arachnid has it!” You’d just have to put your trust into the three that were already here.

“Got it,” Jeno bashed his knee into Vulture’s head, finally incapacitating the Follower and switched targets. You turned around and ran into the hallway. You just had to call one of the other members to run over here with some extra materials. You hit the side of your phone, which only frizzed at the motion. Chenle must have jammed the signals to prevent more reinforcements from coming, great. You couldn’t run around forever, Dead Shot always hit his targets in the end, you continued down the hallway, not bothering to look back, but when you found yourself cornered against a hallway, you forced to figure out a solution. With the smell of smoke and the sounds of bullets hitting the ground— Wait a second. You looked down the hallway, bullets hitting metal and ricocheting towards you but never hitting any intended destination, there wasn’t even a bullet hole in sight, instead there were just empty shells on the ground. But in your analysis you failed to notice the stray bullet that was right in front of you. Then you saw someone’s closed fist in front of you.

“Did I get all of them?” He panted. He opened his hand and twelve bullets fell out of it.

“Oh my god, Mark, you’re just in time, I don’t remember you being this fast either,” you caught your breath and hugged the speedster, separating quickly. Mark pat down the smoke on his boots.

“I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast…” He stretches his back and kicks the bullet shells aside.

“How’d you even get here?”

“The sorcerer guy called Baekhyun and asked us to come right away. I had a feeling it wasn’t anything good so I came first, told them I’d scout the area. It’s a good thing I came, otherwise you’d look like Sponge-Bob…” He laughs awkwardly. “You’re at your quota, aren’t you?” He looks down at your feet. You followed his gaze and saw the rusted knife sticking out from it, then you noticed the bloody trail you left behind. You sighed and pulled the old thing out.

“Remind me to get a Tetanus shot.”

“You are at your quota,” he gasped.

“Can’t afford to possibly die right now,” you shook your head. “I thought since the dimension was far enough it’d get me some leeway, but I guess not,” you grimaced.

“Shit, it really is a good thing that I came just in time,” Mark looks over his shoulder. “Dead Shot should be on his way, you didn’t make it hard to find you.”

“Don’t smart-mouth me right now, Mark.”

“Right, yeah, sorry about that,” the speedster ruffled his blue hair and unzipped his jacket, pulling out a book from it. It was heavy, no doubt, leather-bound with metal embellishments around it. The book had lived through as many eons as it did dimensions. You had asked Mark to try to get it for you if he could, but nothing more than that. Better to leave him in blissful ignorance. “Look, I don’t have a lot of time to say this,” he says while he hands it to you.

“Just spit it out.”

“I was looking into that thing you asked me about and here, this is all I got,” he says. “Whatever you need it for it’d better be important, I almost got turned into a frog for it. The guy I got it from warned me not to read it though.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, something about corrupting the person who reads it.”

“Oh shit, I should have Jeno read it then.”

“True, you can’t corrupt a demon.”

“But then again he is only half.”

“Look, (Y/N), I only got you the book because you were so insistent on it. Just reassure me and tell me that you won’t do anything stupid with it.”

“I won’t, I won’t, I may be stupid but I’m not that stupid, Mark. When are the others coming?”

“I just gave them the signal to enter, they’ll be taking care of the Follower problem here in a bit. But you’re going to have to explain why you’re here to them, and I’m afraid that it might involve you revealing your identities this time.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Why else would you be in D62 being housed and paid by this dimension’s Avengers?”

“Fair enough—” you were cut off by the bullet grazing your ear and landing in the wall behind you. Another one rang out and Mark grimaced, holding his hand to his shoulder

“Argh! Come on!” He grunts. He puts a hand on your back and one behind your neck.

“Why?”

“Whiplash,” you blinked and suddenly found yourself back in the Avenger’s Compound.

“Mark, don’t you dare!”

“Sorry! Jeno’s orders! I’d rather a pissed off you than Jeno!”

“Mark, I swear if you zoom out of here—” but the speedster was already gone by the time you turned around. “Dammit!” You kicked the wall and winced immediately, you completely forgot that it was the same foot that had a knife driven through it earlier.

He was right, you’d reached your quota. There was a certain amount of times you were allowed to “die” until it would be too much, and you knew you’d be at this quota when your body would stop healing itself, it was getting ready for its original host to return. You just didn't think you’d reach it soon, and who knows until the number resets? It was always a varying number, and until it did you had to lay low. It was such a hassle that you always tried to avoid it, but coming to this dimension seemed to have expedited the whole thing. You heard a bag of chips drop behind you.

“(Y/N)? When did you get here?” Jisung stared at you while he picked up the bag.

“Mark.”

“Mark’s here? Where?” Jisung looks around.

“There was a complication at Dr. Strange’s place,” you limped towards him, he rushed over to you and reached for your hand to help you, but you tugged it away. “I’m fine.”

“Oh, okay,” Jisung gave you a little more space, but still walked next to you, sporting that easy-to-read concern. “Do they need help?”

“No. The Avengers are coming.”

“Oh… oh no,” Jisung caught onto why you were being short now. “Oh no, oh no, we won’t have a choice then.”

“No, we won’t,” you heaved the large book under your arm. Jisung looked at it but chose not to question you. “I’ll be in my room, I have a lot of thinking to do before we explain ourselves to the lapdogs so, if you need me, I’ll be in there,” Jisung says.

“Oi, (Y/N)!” Haechan held his hand up and Jisung furiously shook his head. Hyuck pressed on regardless. “Think you need this,” he waved the small box in his hand and you did a doubletake.

“Where did you get that?!” You rushed forward and snatched it out of his hands. “Be a bit more gentle with it!”

“Whoa! What’s got you pissed? Jeno drowned and dropped this. Changmin said to give it to you so I figured it’s important, damn.”

“The Avengers are coming.”

“Like… these Avengers?” He points around the room. “Or our Avengers.”

“The second one,” Jisung nods. “Right, (Y/N)?” You didn’t answer, you were already halfway to your room. You tossed the book on your bed and you opened the small box, pulling the vial of iridescent liquid from it. You twisted it open and downed its limited contents in one gulp. You felt all of your muscles relax at once and you sat on the bed. The wound on your foot closed quickly.

“Postponed, at least for now,” you stretched your arms. “But not permanently,” you placed the vial back in the box and you grabbed the book. As you held the two sides in your hands, ready to open it, you recalled Mark’s warning. Then you remembered the words of the Demon King himself.

“If you know what’s good for you, and what’s good for the world you reside in. Do not seek more than you already know about yourself.”

The times you spoke to Jeno’s father were limited, and your best friend liked it that way, preferred it actually, but the times you did talk they were always pleasant. Save for that warning. He knew something you didn’t, the both of them. You acquired this book without any of their knowledge. For years you just went with it, there’s a quota for death, there’s a reason why you can’t die, there’s a reason why you should avoid stepping near the Seraph, but now in this new universe, you had to know. There was something calling out to you in this dimension, it was very faint, and you didn’t truly notice it until you walked into the Sanctum.

You put the book away, sliding it under the bed.

Trust is mutual, if two very powerful beings are telling you to stay in your lane you probably should. You knew the bare minimum of your condition, so to say, you knew what you had to. Die too many times too close together and something else will come and reclaim its host, and all you knew about that entity was that it was some eldritch creature that took a millennia to finally contain, and for some reason, it had some affinity for you. That is where your knowledge stopped and your curiosity began. What could be so powerful that even the all-powerful Demon King wanted to keep it contained, and what did it have to do with you? Your answers were under your bed. But you risked too much by simply opening the book on its own. You hit your head lightly on the wall behind you. The liquid in the vial would extend your quota by at most three, you had to use them carefully. If you were going to attract a horrific monster, it would probably be best to not do it in a world that you didn’t belong to.

There was a knock at your door.

“What do you want, Renjun?”

The door opened slowly, and someone else stood at it.

“Is now a bad time?” Stark asks. You shook your head.

“It’s your building, come in,” you sighed. He walked in at your invitation, sitting at the table to the side.

“So this is what S.H.I.E.L.D. meant by living accommodations,” he laughs.

“What did you need, Mr. Stark?”

“Tony’s fine, thanks,” he says. “Sorry, it was eating away at me, I had to ask.”

“You wanna know about what you’re like in my dimension, right?”

“I’d appreciate it, but, something tells me I should come back later.”

“Oh, no, no, it’s fine.”

“Where are your friends?”

“Probably getting their asses kicked, but I’m here instead,” you shrugged. “Honestly, you’re not that different. Maybe a little less depressed, but that’s about it. For what it counts, to our knowledge, you aren’t a Follower. You work closely with the Seraph, if they found out then you would’ve been executed on spot, at the very least.”

“Oh yeah? Crazy leader or rational one?”

“Bit of both,” you leaned forward on your bed, kicking the book further under your bed. “Want to know anything else?”

“I was wondering if you could walk me through your Traveler of yours, is it anything like Time Travel?”

“Let’s call it two sides of the same coin.”

“How so? What do you use? Cosmic strings? Möbius strip?”

“Have you heard of the infinite cylinder theory?”

“Also known as Tipler?

“Yes!”

“Then yes, I’m aware.”

“How about Schrödinger’s Equation?”

“We’re talking hamiltonian operators?”

“Bingo. If you can manipulate those two concepts, you can get time travel, but it’s not perfect. So manipulate them differently, add a few more concepts because you have to take relativity into account, and bam. Dimensional Travel.”

“That easy?”

“Yeah, well, no, but in theory sure.”

“And you never went to high school?”

“What’s that got to do with it? If you need a degree to prove you’re right then you’re probably not the sharpest tool in the shed,” you shrug. Tony opened his mouth to retaliate, but couldn’t think of a good comeback to that. “Something tells me you want to ask me something more specific though, Peter let slip that he’s been sending you updates, so I’m sure you’re here for a different reason.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why help us?”

“Don’t really know how to answer that one, Tony,” you placed your ankle on your opposite knee and rolled out your ankle. “Usually we just take whichever job pays the most, but Changmin asked us personally to take this one, so how could we say no? The guy rarely ever asks us favors, and it was the least we could do.”

“That simple?”

“What? Did you want me to say that we wanted to meet you guys? I mean, it’s certainly a plus. Most of your team happen to be carbon copies of the same one who wants to kill us, so there’s that, we’re observing the ways you act, maybe it’ll help us in the future, maybe not. It’s like a two-way deal, you get your Traveler, and we get data.”

“Data,” Tony scoffs. “I can see why you’d come to that conclusion.”

“What can I say? It’s helpful. But, I can definitely say that we might be relieved of our duties soon, we’re technically here illegally, I’ll have you know,” you said to him. “We’re supposed to get official approval from the Secretary of Travel before jumping dimensions, but we’re not exactly law followers so we never did. But now that an official government team is on their way, hoo boy, my greatest rival is yet to come. Paperwork,” you made light of what would otherwise be a very very bad situation.

“I heard, so we get to meet the other Avengers.”

“Yup. And, let me tell you right now, they’re not the nicest people.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, just you wait until I tell you about them.”

The shadow amalgamate shattered into what it once was, scurrying back to their original positions, once Chenle had the wind knocked out of him by Lynx. He landed harshly on Jaemin, who then lost his balance and sent the two tumbling down to the first floor of the Sanctum.

“Sorry,” Chenle rolled off the top of Jaemin.

“It’s fine, call it even for the incident with the banshee.”

“Agreed, ugh, my head’s doing cartwheels…”

“Cartwheels? I feel like mine is being churned,” Jaemin holds his head. Chenle and Jaemin lay next to each other for a moment, trying to stop their spinning heads when someone stood over them.

“Are we bothering you, gentlemen?”

“Ugh, these fuckers are here,” Jaemin covered his eyes with his arms. “Tell me when they’re gone, Apollo.”

“That’s kind of mean,” Mark frowns. Jaemin moves his hand.

“Mark’s not a bad person, actually, Tony. I feel bad because I encouraged him to join the Avengers when they asked, but the other guys saw it as a complete betrayal. But he’s loyal, he doesn’t hate us and we don’t hate him, or at least I don’t.”

“Oh look! The traitor!” He lazily points at him. “Do you know how much shit we’ve been through since you left?”

“All the dishes we’ve had to wash?”

“V won’t even let us take your room because she thinks you’re coming back! You dumb traitor, what happened to our friendship bracelets, Mark?! Huh?!”

“You guys, don’t call me that, come on! Look I’m still wearing it!” Mark whines.

“Go away! You left us for your cooler friends who can legally blow things up, go! Go have fun with them!” Chenle points an accusing finger towards the speedster.

“Just leave them there,” Mark whispers.

“We’re looking for Strange,” a deeper voice says.

“Oh my god, is that Wong Yukhei?” Jaemin asks, his blurred vision not helping him at all. “You know, Vendetta has a cardboard cutout of you, I think she talks to it sometimes,” he laughs, his words slightly slurred as a result of the head damage received when he fell on the hard floors in the first place.

“Flattered,” Yukhei responds.

“Wong Yukhei, decorated soldier from the order of war and the first in the super-soldier experiments. Actually not a bad guy, but feels the need to flex his bravado every now and then because of the team he’s on, and honestly, I kind of relate to that.”

“The hatless wizard is somewhere upstairs,” Chenle points up and lets his arm drop to his side. “We’d help, but you guys look like one big ugly walrus right now.” Jaemin starts cracking up and the two high five.

“Do we have to work with them?” Another voice snapped.

“Li Yongqin, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, Lee Youngheum, he has too many names to remember so people usually just call him Ten. He was a perfect student in the military academies, which I’m guessing where his nickname comes from. But he’s pretty impatient, rather ill-tempered from my experience."

“We don’t have a choice,” a more suave on this time.

“Ooh, Lee Taemin. He's an interesting one, Tony. We’re actually pretty close, or used to be at least. He’s very good at what he does, he has years of experience under his belt, but it’s pretty scary. He’s probably done his research by now, be careful, he knows you better than you know yourself. Don’t argue.”

“Gentlemen, let’s end this, we have clearance from the Seraph to exterminate the Followers,” a more powerful one.

“Oh, oh, Lee Taeyong! He’s great. I’ve seen him work a couple of times, I think he’s shot me in the head before. Don’t ask. I have a great deal of respect for him, but he’s kind of anti-social, not easy to get along with him, but I think it’s all miscommunication in the end. I think if we really got to know each other we’d hit it off, but otherwise, I think I’m just a person with a bounty on her head in his eyes.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jaemin pushed himself up, his eyes finally focusing. “Exterminate? Yeah, you guys do that, but let the Maverick leave first, we don’t want to get caught up in your deathmatch again,” Jaemin hits the side of his head a few times.

“Where’s the Vendetta?”

“Not here! She left because Reaper was being a little bitch!” Jaemin laughs again and Chenle joins him.

“We’re wasting our time here with these idiots,” another person says. Chenle squints his eyes to make out the figure.

“Now there’s Kim Jongin, he’s one of the people who started the Avengers project and got them all together. He’s an indispensable member, in my opinion. But when you’re in a team with that many star-studded members who are constantly in the public eye, it’s easy to get lost in the lights. But he knows how to keep things according to itinerary.”

“Who are you again?” He asks. “I thought the Avengers only had six members,” he stifles back a laugh.

“Dude that’s low!” Jaemin cackles. Mark swallows down a laugh when Taemin looks over at him, both of them trying to be respectful to their teammate.

“I know that’s why I said it!” Chenle hits his teammate’s arm and Jaemin winces, but the two continue in their little circus.

“Forget them, let’s just go,” Jongin. The team ascends the steps.

“Enter, the Avengers,” Baekhyun smiles.

“And finally there’s their leader. Byun Baekhyun— yes, he’s my older brother, no we don’t talk, and I don’t think he even knows I’m alive. He’s similar to you in some aspects, he pays for all of their shit. But he’s manipulative. He knows how to get into your head. Be careful with him.”

General Tag List: @vickylamore @yeongwvnhi @mizzdivagirl7-blog @sehunnies-hunnie96 @roses09020617 @bat-shark-repellant @cloudreads @awesomei @raeincitizen @here-aeth

Locked and Reloaded: @leesalts @lublyrecs @beefchippp @hiqhkey @tyuningkai @p-mini @ellie-idk-anymore @mischiefmakerliesmith5 @gaiyofanfiction @lucyinthesunshinee

If you want to be added to either tag list just send me a reply to this post, and ask, or a DM and I’ll add you as soon as possible!

#nct #nct dream #nct u #marvel #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct u x reader #nct fics #nct dream fics #nct u fics #my writings #L&R

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cornappreciation · 3 years

Text

It's been a while. Episode 40 discussion post below! Spoilers, obviously.

hi! wow! its been a while! sorry about that, brainrot said i have to think about nothing but warrior cats for like six months straight so ive been busy with that. but im back, hopefully? not sure if anyone really recognizes my specifically (or if they ever did), but anyways. since i didnt make an analysis post for the past,,, two (?) episodes, some of my cited evidence will just be "trust me bro" as i dont have notes to look back on, only my own memory. now! episode 40!

this episode was very corn-heavy, so that's gonna be the focal point of this post. ok, time for a quick recap. ive already established in my previous episode analysis / theory posts that corn is almost definitely been *replaced* by xolotl, not possessed or altered. its also likely the beast in the cave near metztli is quetzalcoatl (though this could be a manifestation of xolotl as well), and xolotl is trying to rid of him (this is why im working on the assumption is it quetzalcoatl and not xolotl in the reflections, however this could be some amalgamate of the two "getting rid" of xolotl….. who knows!). im going against my previous theories here! i said in a previous post the shadowy figures were likely xolotl, but im leaning towards corn here in the replacement theory, ill detail why later in this post. he also said at some point in episode 40 that he "got rid of his negative traits" (paraphrasing) which could be a reference ot getting rid of his twin. As for the evidence for replacing rather than possession: mind the difference in hairstyle in his human form, difference in facial markings, and his lack of transformation back into nagual form (likely because it would be markedly different. it could be that xolotls nagual form is reminiscent on corn's dream self with the face covered in hands? yall know what im talking about, ill cite the episode later. but this is unrelated).

All of this happened directly after he failed to shoot the mercy bow. Not sure if the mercy bow or the town is relevant here, but i figured its worth bringing up. This scene in episode 35 is the last we see of regular corn. He has been in human form since this point. He seemed to panic while holding the bow, which could be a mark of his personality in general, *or* something to do with being in metztli, bringing us back to the monster in the cave the citizens of metztli keep at bay with blood. This beast is likely xolotl (although as ive outlined above this could be an incorrect assessment) when the gang first enters the town, and has perhaps "switched places" with corn, leaving quetzalcoatl trapped in xolotl's reflection. This ties back to episode 40 itself, with xolotl (im going to be referring to the impostor as xolotl from now on, its easier for me) requesting that the nurses remove the mirror from his room and give him a wooden spoon rather than a metal one (that could give off his reflection). I'm not sure what this means for corn himself, perhaps xolotl just doesn't want to look at and be reminded of him, or this could be a strategy for getting rid of him? if anyone has any ideas feel free to tell me lol. Not super clear here. Maybe it can be explained by the mythos?

back! to! the! mercy! bow! which isnt really relevant to episode 40. most of this post isnt relevant to episode 40! because i think this episode mostly served to build tension and let us get to know xolotl a little better. but why not give myself a refresher and go back into some of my old stuff? just to get the ball rolling again. ive said in previous posts that i thought the reason the quetzalcoatl and xolotl,,, "thing" happened was because of the mercy bow presumably being destroyed or lost during the eruption of the red tezcatlipoca, since it isnt seen on screen after this happens. im going to tentatively retract this! i dont think its right (though it IS still a possibility….. maybe xolotl was able to take over bc corn disappeared WITH the bow??? but im not sure if the fact he was never able to use the bow disproves this……. hm.) we know *corn* is the proper wielder of it, yes, but i honestly think its more to do with the spooky cave than the bow (something i overlooked previously). its possible the bow being destroyed allowed xolotl to take over? honestly kind of stumped on xolotls method here. its also possible that my replacement theory is totally off mark and theres something im missing!

heres a timeline rq, starting with the gang entering metztli. corn and others enter metztli. they make their way to the temple with the mercy bow. corn attempted to use it, but is scared off by something or otherwise flys away for an unknown reason. this is the last we see on him. he appears only in human form from here on, with his altered facial markings and hairstyle a mark of him being changed. my theory explains this as xolotl pretending to be quetzalcoatl, from some point after corn left the temple and the red eruption. xolotl is likely the creature in the spooky cave the citizens of metztli keep at bay with blood. somehow, xolotl trapped corn in his place (his reflection), while he roams free, pretending to be corn. he avoids reflections of himself (as a shadowy figure is seen on them. This figure is likely corn. Others can see this reflection, as we see a guy at Blackwell drop his spoon after noticing it), and is "maliciously compliant" (uncooperative) with authority. It's likely he purposefully "got rid" of corn, as he says in episode 40 that he got rid of his "negative qualities". spooky! but this episode did not bring a lot of answers. great way to build up tension though! loved the constantly clock ticking as a buildup. cant wait for the next ep :)

apologies if anything ive stated has already been speculated on or confirmed otherwise ! like i said, i havent been active in a while (i even stopped using my main blog, so i dont use tumblr too often), so for all i know i could be the only person left in the no evil fandom on tumblr. feel free to add onto this or correct me or anything ive gotten wrong! ive missed interacting with yall on these theory posts :) might add on more later if i have any revelations.

#No evil #No evil Betsy Lee #Betsy Lee no evil #Corn no evil #Quetzalcoatl no evil #No evil corn #I forgot what tags I used to use AAA #Xolotl no evil #No evil quetzalcoatl

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amimons · 4 years

Text

Miraculous Sweet-ember (Sept. 23rd)

September 23rd: Chameleon, Animaestro & Bakerix

Chameleon brings the official return of Lila causing more trouble for Marinette. Lila has a personal vendetta against Marinette and Ladybug so on top of being extremely good at manipulating and lying we knew she was coming back as a more serious antagonist for our protagonist. Her lies are so good that she has the ability to get away with whatever she wants, which deeply angers Marinette since she believes in honesty and justice. Lila made sure to spare no expense towards Marinette once she arrived back at school and immediately work to isolate Marinette from her peers. Her classmates are oblivious to Lila’s true nature because they believe she has the best intentions. Therefore, when Marinette tries to prove Lila is nothing but a liar they are skeptical of her claims of dishonesty because Marinette cannot disprove anything Lila is saying.

Lila tries to work her charm on Marinette and offer a fake gesture of friendship. Lila told Marinette that she caught onto why Marinette was acting harsh towards her and it was because of Adrien. She extended a false olive branch to Marinette suggesting they should patch things up and she can even help her with Adrien. But Marinette is a clever girl and sees past her fake persona. She tells Lila that the real reason she doesn’t like her is because she lies and although she knows what she saids isn’t true she cannot prove it. Once Marinette called her out, Lila dropped her façade. Lila threatens Marinette saying if she doesn’t chose to stand alongside her then she will work to tear down Marinette’s reputation with her classmates. Now alone, Marinette rushes into a bathroom stall full of pain and anger.

Throughout the school day Hawkmoth has been targeting Marinette as his next akuma but every chance he gotten she would let go of her negative emotions before he could manipulate them. Hawkmoth finally had the opportunity to akumatized Marinette who was now face to face with said akuma. Tikki encourage her to overcome her negative emotions, telling her that she has the ability to find a solution to her situation. The affect of Tikki’s words worked. Feeling self-assured she announces that she is proud, confident, she's Marinette! Which ward off the akuma. Lila as a plot device is suppose to create the ripple in Marinette’s civilian life giving her an enemy outside of Hawkmoth. Unfortunately, people fall victims to convincing liars all the time and even though her classmates appreciate Marinette greatly they are blinded by the concept of who they think Lila is. Even though Marinette has a new obstacle to face in class, as long as she believes in herself and her abilities she can work to overcome it.

Another thing about this episode is that it works on the slow buildup of a potential akumatized Marinette. This is the second time Marinette almost became akumatized and both times was when she felt justice was not being served. Marinette needs an ally to offer their support in this situation, someone that also can see through Lila and she found that support in Adrien. Chameleon was a good step up for a new antagonist in the school. Together Ladybug and Chat Noir work together to fight against Hawkmoth and now Marinette and Adrien have the opportunity to work together to defeat another common enemy outside their super suits.

Animaestro made Marinette team up with someone we least expected. Chloe Bourgeois. Even though the intention of the two of them joining forces wasn’t a good one, it was still pretty enjoyable to see due to the comedic value of it. Besides Marinette learns by the end that it was a bad idea to follow Chloe and join in on her schemes. This episode also narrows in on what Marinette will need to work while the season progresses. Which involved her feelings towards Adrien and his potential relationship with Kagami.

It’s nice to look at this episode as a starting point of Marinette’s development on that subject. She feels threatened by Kagami’s role in Adrien’s life but as the season progress she comes to terms with it and even offers her friendship to Kagami. But at this point in time we have Marinette up to her whacky antics which includes Chloe tagging along...well more like Chloe bossing Marinette along. This also give an opportunity to compare and contrast how these two characters treat their relationship with Adrien. Chloe centers the relationship around herself at least on the surface level while Marinette does go to extremes to get a chance to be with Adrien, she will always put Adrien’s happiness over her own. Chloe and Marinette have such an interesting dynamic so it was great to see them attempting to become temporary allies.

Bakerix is dedicated to learning about Marinette’s father side the family. Specifically her estranged grandpa. Due to a family fall out, Marinette never got the chance to meet Grandpa Rolland Dupain and for her father’s birthday she makes it her mission to rekindle that father and son relationship. Thats easier said than done because Rolland is a man who is very caught up in the past. It’s even hard for her to get the chance to come inside his house since he is so closed off from everyone. She didn’t want to ruin a potential opportunity of talking to her grandpa by admitting she was his granddaughter so she tried to come up with other excuses to get inside. Her attempts to get in are funny and emphasizes why I love Marinette as a character. Several attempts later she was still not welcomed in his house.

Lucky for her, Rolland is opening his home up for the flour delivery person. She immediately takes the opportunity and tells the delivery man that she is Rolland’s granddaughter and she would love to pull a funny joke on her him by pretending to be the delivery person. The flour guy lets her take the bag and to top it off she asks for the hat to make it more convincing. Marinette wearing the flour hat was just adorable. Even though reconnecting her father with his father became a bigger task than she could imagine (especially since he ended up getting akumatized) Marinette is always willing to go the extra mile for the ones she loves. She will take on any tasks and figure out solutions to any problem just so those in her life have the very best. Thats very telling of just the type of person Marinette is.

About Sweet-ember:

For the month of September I wanted to spread some positivity and praise Miraculous Ladybug on the things I’ve appreciated/enjoyed from the show.

Everyday I’m going to select one particular moment, event, theme, etc. from an episode of Miraculous and shared what I liked from that episode. Each post will discuss 2-3 episodes (from season 1-3; 78 episodes in total).

Whether its something big or small there is something positive that I can take away from every single episode of Miraculous.

Please feel free to add a moment from these particular episodes that you loved to this post as well!

Salt towards the show, characters, ships will not be tolerated!

Sweet-ember posts

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17]

[18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31]

#miraculous ladybug #ml sugar #ml sweet-ember #Chameleon #Animaestro #Bakerix #mine

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ghost-in-the-hella · 4 years

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51. “You make me feel alive.” with PriceMarsh.

My apologies for taking so long to finish this! For whatever reason, Kate POV seems to take me extra long to get my head around. Better late than never, I hope!

CW for implied cutting, implied suicidality, referenced canon drugging and sexual assault (the Vortex Club incident), and referenced homophobic and emotionally abusive parenting.

---

“I’m a bad influence on you,” Chloe says, and for a moment she’s so beautiful in the moonlight that Kate doesn’t catch the sadness in her voice.

“What?” Kate says when it registers. “No, you aren’t.”

Chloe stares at her unblinkingly, cigarette raised so that her face is wreathed with smoke, and gives her a look like she’s somehow proving her point simply by existing.

“You aren’t,” Kate repeats more firmly. “What, you think nobody’s ever smoked in front of me before? I do all kinds of community service. Plenty of people have smoked in front of me.”

“Okay, but did they smoke in front of you after sneaking you out of the dorms past curfew, and did they commit petty crimes before they lit up?”

Kate rolls her eyes and shakes her head softly. “I still say you’re not a bad influence on me. I didn’t vandalize anything.”

“Mm. You did let a persona non grata delinquent into the dorms and then sneak out with her so she could tag public property, though.”

“True, but…” Kate kicks her feet gently in the air as she thinks. The metal of Chloe’s truck bed is cold and hard beneath her thighs, but right now it’s more comfortable than her own dorm bed. She hasn’t felt safe sleeping there since she woke up on the floor after the Vortex Club party she can’t remember. The gross comments that keep popping up on her whiteboard don’t exactly make it feel like home, either. “I asked you. I don’t think you’re the bad influence there.”

Chloe mock-gasps. “Kate Beverly Marsh! Are you suggesting that you were a bad influence on me??”

“Maybe,” Kate teases, and this feels better. Chloe’s moods tend to turn on a dime, and Kate’s never quite sure how to handle them. They’ve only been hanging out for a couple of weeks, and although Kate’s learned to recognize Chloe’s sorrow she hasn’t learned how to comfort her. Chloe wears that hard, tough, punk persona so proudly; offering her a hug feels like it would be a transgression. But when Chloe’s joking around, Kate feels much less out of her depth. Most people don’t expect Kate to have a sense of humor - “good little church girl” that she is - but Chloe’s proven herself to be an exception. Chloe’s an exception to a lot of things. “I did ask you to help me break the rules.”

“Because you wouldn’t know how to break them on your own, goody-two-shoes,” Chloe teases with a chuckle.

“I’ll have you know I was a rule-breaker before I met you, thank you very much!”

Chloe flicks the ash from the end of her cigarette onto the damp, sandy asphalt of the beach parking lot. “Really,” she deadpans. “Kate Marsh, rule-breaker.”

“Yes.”

“Sure we’re talking about the same Kate Marsh?” She holds a hand over Kate’s head (mercifully, it’s not the one holding her still-smoldering cigarette). “‘Bout this tall? Literal human marshmallow? Goes to church every Sunday and volunteers at the soup kitchen?”

“Yes!” Kate laughs.

“Okay.” Chloe shifts her position abruptly, reclining with her shoulders propped against the wall of the truck bed and dangling one leg off the edge of the tailgate while the toes of her other dirty boot stop just shy of touching Kate’s thigh. Kate wishes she were as comfortable anywhere as Chloe seems to make herself everywhere. “There’s obviously a story here.” She gestures melodramatically with her cigarette, luminous red embers and pale blue smoke - almost the color of her eyes - against the colorless dark of the night sky. “So spill, Katydid. Illuminate me.”

In her head, Kate scrambles frantically to find something suitably rebellious to tell Chloe. She’s sure she must have done something interesting at some point in her life, but with Chloe’s eyes on her and the way that Chloe’s biting her lip as she waits she’s having a very hard time thinking about anything else. “I… Sometimes I stay up really late. All night, even.”

Chloe looks like she’s trying not to laugh. “That’s it? Kate, that’s… That’s not even breaking any rules! You’re eighteen; you can stay up as late as you want!”

“My parents are really strict about bedtimes,” Kate says a little defensively. “Right up until I moved into the dorms, they would do room checks every night to make sure my sisters and I had our lights out and were sound asleep.” A sneaky little smile tugs at her lips and she drops her voice into a conspiratorial tone. “But there was a creaky floorboard between their room and mine, so I would listen for it and then I’d pretend to be sleeping when they’d check on me. And once they were gone, I’d stay up reading or texting my friends or watching movies.” Kate can hear how boring this sounds, so she hurries to add, “Movies my parents wouldn’t let me watch. I would sneak them. Horror movies, violent stuff. Things like that.” Not only horror movies, Kate doesn’t add because she doesn’t want to tip her hand even though she knows - she knows - that Chloe likes girls, too; she hasn’t forgotten how Chloe used to look at Rachel Amber. But she suspects that Chloe never had to sneak around her mother to watch Imagine Me and You or Saving Face or - God forbid - But I’m a Cheerleader, and she’s not sure that Chloe would understand how incredibly criminal it had felt.

“Pfft! I’ve been doing that shit since I was a kid. With my old friend Max, even, and she was almost as much of a goody-two-shoes as you. Man, after we sneak-watched Jaws she wouldn’t so much as stick a toe in the bay for the rest of the summer. Total chicken.” She grins wickedly. “Nice try, though. And I’ll definitely have to remember about the horror movies. I’ve got some that’ll knock your socks off, guaranteed. So what else you got, Cup-Kate?”

Kate chews on her lower lip for a moment before blurting, “I cursed at my mother.”

Chloe actually laughs at that. “I did that this morning. And again this afternoon. I do that literally every day.”

“I called her a…” She balks. She knows that Chloe curses all the time, but somehow she just can’t make herself repeat the word even though it felt so good to say it and watch her mother’s face turn livid. “A bad name. She grounded me for a week.” Grounded is an understatement. But Chloe doesn’t need to know about Kate getting her mouth washed out with soap at the ripe age of seventeen. She doesn’t need to know that Kate’s mother took away her phone and computer as punishment and proceeded to read her most personal texts and emails before grilling her relentlessly about them until her father came home and put a stop to it. She definitely doesn’t need to know how much Kate cried and begged for forgiveness that week.

Something in Chloe’s face makes Kate feel like she knows it all anyway. “Sounds like she probably deserved whatever you called her.” Chloe nudges Kate’s thigh gently with her boot. “And hey, if you ever want someone to go call her names so vile you’ve never even dreamed of them, much less let them soil your lips, just lemme know. I’ll do it for free.”

Kate can’t hold in a giggle at Chloe’s offer. It shouldn’t be funny, she knows. But it is. She shouldn’t think Chloe’s offer is sweet, but she does.

Chloe smiles and stubs out her cigarette, which is by then burned down to the filter. She hauls herself back up into a sitting position, the toe of her boot still pressed lightly against Kate’s thigh. “Okay, so we’ve got cursing at your mother what I’m assuming is a whopping one time in your life despite the fact that she probably deserves it way more than that, and you staying up to watch horror movies past your bedtime. Not exactly sounding like a hardened criminal, there, Kate. Sounding more like a complete and utter cinnamon bun, if I’m honest.”

“I, um. I drink wine every week?” It’s a weak stab and Kate knows it, but it’s all she’s got left unless she wants to delve into much more personal territory that she’s in no way ready to talk about.

Chloe rolls her eyes. “Doesn’t count as breaking the rules if it’s literally part of church.” She wags a scolding finger. “That’s cheating.”

Kate seizes the opportunity with both hands, a victorious grin spreading across her face. “Which is breaking the rules! Ha, got you!”

Chloe scoffs. “Uh-huh. Very clever, Marsh. Still not disproving my cinnamon bun theory, though. You’re going to have to try harder to scandalize me.” There’s a lift to Chloe’s eyebrow that feels like a dare. Or maybe it only feels like a dare because Kate really, really wants it to be one.

Both of Chloe’s eyebrows shoot much higher when Kate answers her challenge by leaning in and kissing her.

Kate wants to do this forever. She wants to press harder, dig deeper. But she’s never kissed anybody before and she suspects she’d do it terribly if it were much more than a peck, and if this isn’t something Chloe actually wants then pressing would only make it worse. So she holds her lips against Chloe’s for a couple of incredible, terrifying seconds, and then she pulls away.

Chloe blinks slowly, looking dazed. Kate isn’t sure whether that’s a good sign or a bad one. “Okay, wow, that… Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

“...Does that mean I can do it again?”

Chloe lets out a laugh, fragile and amazed. “Holy shit, Kate.”

Kate wants to kiss her again, but Chloe hasn’t answered her question. Her stomach twists suddenly. “Oh my God, I’m such an idiot; I’m so sorry.” She puts her palms on her flushed cheeks. They feel impossibly hot; she can’t even imagine how red they must look. “I should have asked first. I’m so sorry.”

“It… yeah, that was definitely breaking the rules. I’ll give you credit for that one.” Chloe laughs a little shakily. “Kate Marsh, rule-breaker.”

“I shouldn’t have done it; not like that. Oh, Lord, I’m no better than those… those creeps who--” Kate can feel the warm feeling kissing Chloe gave her slipping into a cold spiral that seizes her chest and pumps ice water through her veins.

“Don’t even.”

“I didn’t even ask, or warn you, or anything; I just--”

“Dude, chill. It’s fine. I liked it.”

“You’re probably still-- I shouldn’t’ve just--” Kate blinks as Chloe’s words sink in. “You liked it?”

Chloe nods. “Yeah, I mean… It took me off-guard, for sure. Asking first would’ve been better, no doubt, but it’s not like I haven’t been wanting you to kiss me for, like… a week, at least.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. It was nice.” Chloe rubs the back of her neck, frowning. Her face slips back into that space Kate hasn’t learned how to navigate, the one that shows she’s thinking too hard and feeling too much. “Uncharacteristic, though.”

Kate's heart sinks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means… Hell, I don’t know. It means maybe I really am a bad influence on you. It means maybe my step-dick is right and I’m just a no good delinquent dragging you down with me.”

“Chloe Price, you are not a bad influence on me!” Kate touches her shoulder. Chloe won’t turn and look at her, so Kate touches her chin and turns her head until she has to meet her eyes. The look in Chloe’s eyes makes Kate’s heart hurt. “You’re the best possible influence on me.”

Chloe laughs again, but it’s a broken sound. Kate never wants to hear her laugh like that again. “Not fucking possible,” Chloe tells her. “You’re, like… the best person I’ve ever met. And I’m…” She waves a hand to gesture at the whole of herself.

“You’re a good person,” Kate insists. “You’ve lived through bad things, and they’ve hurt you. But you’re a good person.”

“I’m a high school dropout with no job and no prospects. I smoke, I drink, I do drugs, I swear, I spit on sidewalks, I--”

“You don’t judge me. Why should I judge you?”

“I’ve sold drugs,” Chloe plows on, “I’ve hurt people, I’ve started fights just because I was angry and I wanted to hurt someone…”

“I’m not saying that you’re perfect. I don’t expect you to be perfect. But you are a good person. And you’re a good…” Kate takes a steadying breath. “You’re a good friend. You don’t treat me like I’m some fragile little flower that’s been sheltered from the world, or like someone who needs to be sheltered from it. All my life, people have tried to control me.” Kate clasps her hands in her lap, fingers wrestling with each other anxiously. “My family, my neighbors, my church, my friends… They all expect me to act a certain way, to talk and think and feel and believe exactly the same way that they do, and they don’t care what I want. They don’t care what I think or feel or believe. But when I’m with you…” Kate feels something wet slip down her cheek and wipes at it absently. “Chloe, when I’m with you, I can be who I want to be. I can be me. I can break the rules I want to break and follow the rules I want to follow and you don’t judge me either way. You make me feel alive. You make me want to be alive.”

Kate’s fully crying now, so it takes her a minute to realize that Chloe’s crying, too.

“Shit,” Chloe says, and she’s half-laughing as she cries. “Shit, shit.” She mops at her face. “You, I… Fuck, I can’t even… Shit, Kate! You’re… you’re fucking perfect. Jesus.”

Kate wants to correct her: Chloe is the one who’s perfect. She’s a perfect mess with her tangled blue hair and the dark circles beneath her eyes, her chipped nail polish and chapped lips and bony elbows and scarred forearms. Her stained clothes, her dirty boots, her bra strap slipping down her shoulder, the stink of cigarettes hanging around her in a constant fug. Her mascara running with her tears, the way she’s smiling through them and looking at Kate like she’s some kind of miracle. She’s perfect, and Kate wants to kiss her again. She wants to press the knowledge of how perfect Chloe is into her flesh with her lips so that she believes it.

But they’re both still crying, and the moment just doesn’t feel right. So instead Kate asks a question she’s been wanting to ask since they met: “May I give you a hug?”

Chloe nods rapidly, and her smile brightens. “You’d fucking better.” She opens her arms, and she welcomes Kate home.

#prompt fic #prompt fill #this prompt was not so prompt #fanfic #my writing #ghost writes #prompt ghost #life is strange #pricemarsh #chloe price #kate marsh

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babysgarage · 3 years

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disclaimers: * i don’t know what the fuck i’m talking about ** i did not want him redeemed, so i’m not actually gonna write him a new redemption arc, i’m just gonna add canon compliant scenes to the existing one to make it easier for me to swallow *** you’ll notice that i don’t mention a certain topic at all and that’s because it’s the main reason why i don’t want him redeemed so i’m going to pretend it doesn’t exist so that i can write this at all. Also there’s a wholeass debate about it and i don’t feel competent enough to weigh in rn

So the problem i have with this whole thing is that it feels so unearned, he didn’t do a single redeemable thing before, during or after, he faces 0 consequences, he showed 0 changed behavior and his change of heart felt very sudden, there were no signs of him second-guessing himself at all, and this post is only gonna change that last point ..ok no wait, i honestly thought that his beef with cherry was supposed to show there were still traces of the old adam left somewhere

… and that him smacking cherry in the face with a skateboard in the end was meant to show he willed himself to do the ultimate cruel move and prove to both himself and cherry that their bond was a thing of the past that means absolutely nothing to him now and that he is more powerful now that he’s on his own and other sasuke-esque things yadda yadda but then the smack turned into a ‘technique’ that he uses against everyone like he’s a videogame character and that’s his signature move, and now it just looks more ridiculous because it lost the shock value and the potential meaning behind it

next up i gotta address that i get that the way he acts is obviously the result of this;

obviously the way he was raised gave him a completely distorted, fucked up view of what love is- aka it made him equate love and abuse

plus this scene

he also thinks love is earned by performing well and rising up to your shitty relatives’ expectations

so my suggestion is: add a scene after the end of Reki & Adam’s beef. Reki lost, but everyone at S is cheering for him, all his friends are huddled around him in support, and also there’s Langa, tending to Reki’s injuries, maybe adding a band aid in the exact same where Adam running his fingers on his forearms (like in the screencap above where he’s talking to Miya), where the ruler marks used to, and then it hits him – maybe that’s what love is actually supposed to be like-

Just use what you’ve already established in the story- that Adam notices there’s a strong bond between Reki and Langa that he’s kinda jealous of maybe. but also i don’t mean the focus is just reki&langa, it’s a big detail in a bigger picture of the *power of friendship* w/ other skaters

Of course, when one comes across a realization that could shatter their entire world view and disprove everything they were taught from a young age, their first instinct usually isn’t to immediately accept it, but to clamp down on their long-held beliefs and fight the doubt – that leads him proceed to that poor tailor’s shop and continue on with the events of episode 12, but except that whole internal struggle thing makes it a bit more understandable now why he’s spinning out

He still has his beef with Langa who makes him confront the fact that he is full of shit and obviously doesn’t wanna be alone his whole life

now onto his issues with tadashi

The dude obviously has some abandonment issues, and Tadashi feels really guilty and bad about Adam’s life in general, in the end he was like ‘I’m not gonna take your only escapist mechanism away from you, i’m gonna let this teenager remind you of the joy you used to find in it’

and this is where i verge off into this-will-never-happen-in-the-show territory but what if after their whole ‘you’ll take the fall for me’ convo, Tadashi decides to go with that plan and to take the aunts down with him by planting false evidence or something. Now ainosuke is free from people trying to dictate his every move like forcing him into a marriage (Tadashi always pulled a face when they mentioned it). Now Adam’s a bit more free and can hopefully lead a happier life. One problem tho is that Adam’s all alone now (which he doesn’t really want as we established) and being all alone after going thru some stressful shit and earthshattering revelations isn’t a winning combo for mental health in my experience so guess who finally gets some therapy! And since he’s still a corrupt & rich politician, he bribes someone to get Tadashi a very short/light sentence and when they meet again he hires him back immediately because ‘where else are you gonna get a job as a convicted felon’ and you basically have your ‘be my dog forever’ moment without anyone being called a dog and no, idk what any of this would do to his career

also maybe cut the scene where he crashes langa’s party in his matador costume

Also yknow how Adam obviously invests in that building where Miya trains at? What if he partners up with Cherry and he makes mini Carlas for the trainees like in those high-tech gyms where they assess your movements and enhance your performance using advanced scanners and robots and yadda yadda. That comes after they mend their relationship, idk how, but i doubt the sk8 writers would be vehemently against making them make up so

#long post #this is the longest thing i've written i hope readmore works #cw: ad*m #sk8 for ts

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pippins-took · 4 years

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The Teenage Love Triangle - cardigan/august/betty

I’m sure this post has already been made, but I wanted to make my own version of all the connections between the three songs on Taylor’s newest album, folklore. If you haven’t already heard of what I’m referencing, here’s Taylor explaining it herself

So we know there are three songs on the album that are all connected, but each from different perspectives of three teenagers: one teenager we know as Betty, another teenager we know as James, and a third teenager who James was seeing in the summer.

At first, when I was trying to make the connections between cardigan and betty, I assumed illicit affairs was the song from the third teenagers perspective since it seemed so obvious, but I’ve seen posts from other people saying that august was the song from the third perspective.

So here are all the connections between the three songs cardigan, august, & betty that I’ve found. This post will probably get long so all the connections will be listed under here!!

Teenagers

In all three songs, there are a lot of references to the narrators of the songs being young.

cardigan

august

betty

In these three songs specifically, the narrators sound a lot younger than her other songs: talking about school, being seventeen, never have i ever, spreading rumors and meetings at malls. These themes also seem to call back to some of Swift’s older songs like Fifteen and You Belong With Me, that also featured teenage narrators.

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The Cardigan

cardigan

betty

betty is the only other song that actually references the cardigan that is repeated in the song cardigan. The narrator refers to Betty as ‘you’ and ‘your’ throughout the song, so we can only assume that the cardigan that the narrator is standing in belongs to Betty, which would mean that cardigan is from Betty’s perspective.

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The Car

august

betty

During the bridge in the song betty, the narrator talks about a moment when a girl pulls up, a “figment of their worst intentions,” and telling them to “get in.” The usage of the phrase “pulled up” being used in both songs connect the two moments together. This is also the moment when the narrator in the song betty is named as James.

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Summer

august

betty

august talks about the wonders of a summer love and the fleeting feeling of a love that wasn’t hers. In betty, James talks about a “summer thing,” referencing the fling they had with the narrator in august. We can also assume that the rumor that Betty heard from Inez was James and their summer fling, which is why they’re trying to pass it off as nothing.

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Bed Sheets

august

betty

James talks about sleeping next to a girl but thinking about “you” all summer long. The “you” referring to Betty, and the “her” referring to the narrator in august, who also talks about being in bed together with James. This is another example of summer being mentioned, showing that James was indeed together with this girl during the summer time.

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Knowing Nothing/Knowing Everything

cardigan

betty

This is one of my favorite parallels between the two songs. In cardigan, Betty talks about people thinking you know nothing when you’re young, but she later goes on to state that she knew everything when she was younger. This directly parallels with James pleading with her in betty, saying that they were “only seventeen,” that they were young and they “don’t know anything” but they know that they miss Betty. James is young and doesn’t know anything, the thing that Betty keeps mentioning and disproves by saying that she knew everything, like she doesn’t accept James’ excuse.

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Repeating Words/Phrases

This section is a compilation of words and phrases that are repeated in cardigan and betty that tie the two songs together.

Cobblestone

cardigan

betty

Streetlights

cardigan

betty

Kissin’ In Cars

cardigan

betty

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The Porch

cardigan

betty

At the end of the third verse in cardigan, Betty directly references the events that happen in the song betty. She talks about James coming back once the thrill expired, the thrill being the summer fling James had with the other girl in august. She predicts that James would come back and stand on her front porch. In betty, James shows up at Betty’s party and talks about the kissing on the porch, a declaration of their love for her. The front porch is also a common lyric in many of Taylor’s older songs, like Our Song and If This Was a Movie.

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betty - bridge and outro

It’s very clear to me that the bridge and outro in betty are directly referencing the other songs in The Teenage Love Triangle.

In the bridge, James talks about the other girl picking them up in her car, sleeping next to her during the summer and thinking of Betty the whole time.

In the outro, James mentions the very important cardigan that ties back to Betty, and “kissin’ in my car” and “streetlights” that are both referenced in the song cardigan.

The bridge mentioning James’ affair with the other girl during the summer, but then ending the song with Betty shows that their feelings for her are stronger. The bridge is the summer James had, and the outro is James’ attempt to show Betty how much they miss her.

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Other Notes

The name James is being talked about a lot, rightfully so. One could think that James would be a boy in this Teenage Love Triangle, but I think the fact that nowhere in all three songs does Taylor ever mention James’ pronouns, and I think that is very intentional.

People have mentioned before that the names Inez and James are both the names of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds daughters. James Reynolds has also been a part of Taylor’s previous song, Gorgeous.

So, with this context in mind, Taylor could be hinting at the fact that James is actually a girl, and The Teenage Love Triangle is a wlw story.

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These are all the connections I’ve gathered so far, if there’s anything more that I’ve missed if anyone wants to add onto this post, feel free to!! Taylor is honestly a lyrical genius, and connecting these three songs together so subtly just blows my mind. This album is so incredible and I could analyze it forever, but I’m going to leave it at this for now!

#taylor swift #folklore #taylor swift folklore #music #ts folklore #cardigan #august #betty #i've been thinking about this since the album came out #i immediately noticed all these little similarities and was like oH OH THESE ALL CONNECT #theres a story here and i needed to pinpoint all of them #so hopefully this actually makes sense and is easy to follow #taylor said gay rights with this album #i have been nonstop listening to it the whole time #my post #long post

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sastielsfandom · 5 years

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Road Trip, Season Nine, Episode Ten (Part 1)

I was rewatching Road Trip and unlike the first time I watched this episode, I was watching a bit closer. What caught me off guard was Cas. I mean Dean was also throwing me off as well, but for the majority of season nine, Dean confused me with his actions.

If you haven’t watched season nine yet, or haven’t made it to episode ten of season nine, I don’t recommend reading this, there’s a lot of spoilers.

Also fair warning, I may be overanalyzing this episode too much. So perhaps some points might have been accidental, but I still included them since I found evidence to back up my point. Also, any interpretation is valid in its own way, this is simply a deduction from this particular episode.

Now, despite the fact that Sam and Cas don’t interact until the end of the episode, and Gadreel was controlling Sam for the majority of the episode, I found a lot of Sastiel feeling moments. Of course, you can read this without thinking of it as being romantic, but platonic I don’t mind doing what you want with my analysis of this episode. If you disagree with it or want to add on to this, feel free to.

My main point of this is showing how protective Cas was in this episode. To showcase how important Sam is to Cas, and how Cas tends to show this a lot more when Sam isn’t around. With all that said and done, let’s get started.

The episode starts off with an incredibly emotional Dean who is dealing with Kevin’s death. I am not surprised that he feels guilty, and is getting prepared for revenge. I am surprised that he is willing to kill the imposter in Sam after going through a lot to prevent Sam from being hurt in the first place.

That’s not my focus though, my focus is Cas and how he is responding to this information. (One day I plan on doing a deep dive with Dean, not this episode but an analysis of Dean and how he copes. But as for now, we’re focusing on Cas.)

As Cas comes in, back in his usual attire looking better than he did at the end of episode nine, the mess surrounding Dean is quite eye-catching. Which prompts Cas to ask what had happened, which Dean does get into a sit-down.

I believe Cas had an inkling that this was going to be a heavy discussion, Dean was not only alone, but packing items that aren’t used for a typical hunt, such as an angel blade, and the tablet that Kevin has been attached to since he became a prophet.

The next scene is panned to the two finishing the conversation, where Cas is being understanding and apologizes to Dean for his troubles. The conversation they did have was about Dean letting an angel into Sam’s vessel in order to save Sam without his consent. In consequence of this, the angel had lied to Dean and took over Sam’s body, sadly leading to Kevin’s death. One that Dean takes full blame for, which we’ll discuss again, but for now, I’ll move on.

While Cas is being respectful, understanding, and as supportive as he could be, Dean is being the opposite. Dean is quite snappy, emotional, regretful, and angry, not quite the opposite of Cas but is quite different from Cas.

For example, Cas is apologizing with what I believe a bit of guilt (he is the one who told Dean Ezekiel was a trustworthy angel, unknown to him though Ezekiel had passed during the fall.) and Dean’s response was, “Sorry doesn’t pay the bills now does it?”

No matter Dean’s attitude, this isn’t what worries Cas. His demeanor stays relatively the same during this conversation until Cas asks a question about the identity of this angel, in hopes Dean knows. The shift is when Dean answers Cas with, “Dead man walking.”

The tone, expression, and pace of the scene all change. This first photo is before any major flags are raised, it’s where he is apologizing to Dean as a matter of fact. They’re both sitting, the conversation is more hesitant leaving the flow to be much slower, and the expressions are much more somber and apologetic.

As for the second photo, the shock is quite present, the conversation picks up as they begin to somewhat argue, and you can hear anger, and disbelief in Castiel’s voice. Cas even pushes in a more mocking manner, “What are you going to destroy him?” This is incredibly far fetched to Cas, this is supposed to be the man who went to Hell for his brother, and is the reason angels began to engage with humanity again, is now going to murder his brother as a solution to avenge Kevin? I can easily understand why Cas doesn’t believe this, as I was thinking along the same lines.

All it took was two words for Castiel to realize how serious, and far gone Dean is right now, and if he doesn’t help argue for Sam’s sake, the next hunter funeral will be Sam’s. “Damn right.”

Even as he begins to warn Dean, “If you kill an angel the vessel dies too.” Which flowed out of his mouth way quicker than his question about who the angel who is currently controlling Sam. keeping with my point of the shift in pace. My evidence for his facial expressions shifting are the two photos below:

While this interaction has been quite serious since Cas had walked in, the reality of the situation is now hitting Cas. Which you can see in these photos. I have to praise Misha for conveying masterfully.

Dean who has been standing since Cas apologized turned around for this, although I’m not showing or talking much about Dean’s (or Jensen’s) obvious turmoil in this scene it should be noted that he’s been moving around, turning away from Cas, which I feel makes it easier on the two to discuss this. With that said, Dean turned around to tell Cas, “You think I don’t know that?” Almost scolding Cas for his obvious statement, which in turn has Cas looking down almost like or is shame showing by his eye contact drop to the table briefly during Dean’s attention.

I like this shift between these two photos. The first photo is similar to a scolded child while the second one is someone gaining or trying to gain confidence for what is about to be said. Another thing I would like to note is Cas licking his lips in the second photo.

I missed this small action several times, and there is the possibility Misha isn’t aware of this movement, but as I said before, I am interpreting this how I perceived it, and I do have some logical evidence to back up this note, so even if this is a stretch it has evidence.

There are three main reasons people lick their lips, two obvious, more well-known reasons are chapped lips, and sexual intentions/desires.

I am aware of Misha and in default Castiel, appear to have chapped lips frequently, therefore the first reason could fit; however, I see lips that would not need to be licked for moisture. Debunking this reason completely, unless you want to argue habit but even to that I would say it’s not frequent enough to be a strong rebuttal.

Moving onto the next possibility, sexual intent. As much as some people want me to say this is, in fact, the case, I can’t see it being so. Regardless what people seem to believe, there is a lot of evidence, such as this episode, that disproves the theory that Cas only cares about Dean or an even worse theory that Castiel’s drive to help Sam is only done as a way to “woo” Dean, or “please” him. It is quite obvious Cas cares for Sam and would rather not see him dead, he is one of the people who helped revive Sam, it would be backward for him to forget Sam and decide to “pounce” on Dean in this moment of vulnerability. It also doesn’t fit the scene at all. Perhaps if they were talking about a lighter subject and have shared some banter I could possibly see this being Castiel’s way of trying to progress their friendship into something more, but this isn’t a lighter scene, and Cas’ sex drive at this moment is more likely to be nonexistent as would Dean’s be.

Leaving me with the third, Cas is self-soothing himself. From the expression, context, and knowledge of where this conversation progresses, I would say this is the strongest contender. This also won’t be the only time we see a moment where Cas is possibly using a self-soothing technique.

Going back to the photo and the theory of becoming courageous, it makes sense that while you are trying to be courageous you’ll have nerves you’ll want to repress. Subconsciously or not. Meaning, the expression matches.

Does it fit the context? Yes, this is a tense conversation between two close friends talking about the possible demise of another friend/brother which they would be responsible for. Self-soothing is a must to push through this conversation.

With the expression and context matching, it leaves the knowledge of progression. Does this still fit? Once again, it does. Not only does Cas argue with Dean, but Cas also shows another moment where he appears to be soothing himself again. This conversation doesn’t dwindle down for a bit and the tension doesn’t leave this episode. It carries through for a while. Even without the knowledge of what occurs next, this action fits with self-soothing the best.

Back to my main points, as Cas has times to think and soothe himself to a degree, Dean is at a breaking point, both mournful and angry he explains his side which is, “If I don’t end Sam...And that halo burns him out and I…” Dean gives Cas a look of you know where this ends and what I mean.

Cas seems to once again be battling with himself. It’s not that he doesn’t understand why Dean is planning to kill his brother, it's that he can’t accept the idea. Cas has never been able to accept the idea once he considered Sam his friend. Which was established early on when Anna was still alive and proposed Sam’s death as a solution. (Once again, I’m amazed at the emotion Misha can show with subtly it doesn’t show as much as it does in motion, but you can still see it.)

Dean with his head down admits, “I was so damn stupid.” You can see the moment, where Cas is ready to say his piece and literally rises to it by standing up. Take into consideration that this these next few photos, Cas is standing to tell Dean, “You were stupid for the right reasons.”

His mix of emotions stays relatively the same however, confidence is added onto the layer of emotions. Further proving my previous note. Despite the fact he called Dean stupid, it isn’t will ill intent and is said in a gentle like manner. Cas could have exploded, insulted Dean with ill intent. Instead, he is staying in a calm tone while he tries to reason with Dean.

Dean doesn’t take into account, in his own self-pity which is plenty understandable, as he says, “Yeah, like that matters.”

There is more to this episode, this is only six minutes in, but it is the end of part one due to Tumblr’s limitations. As I warned before this is going to be a long segment.

#SPN Road Trip #Road Trip #SPN 9x10 #9x10 #Dean Winchester #Castiel #Gadreel #Sam Winchester #Sastiel #Samstiel #Sastiel Analysis

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