#Girls Only: The Secret Comedy of Women

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Pick One: Magical Girl Show or Rom-com. You cannot be both.

Early in season four we get the episode Gang of Secrets. An episode that ends with Marinette outing her secret identity to Alya. A touching moment that sparked outrage across the fandom because it meant that Marinette had made the choice to reveal her identity to her best friend while keeping her hero partner in the dark.

This choice spat in the face of the exceptions that many fans had for the series. Thousands of pre-season-four fanfics feature moments where Ladybug and Chat Noir promise each other that they'll be the first to know each other's identities. After the Alya reveal, scores of fanfics were written to salt on Marinette's choice to tell the "wrong" person.

Most of these fics feature a betrayed Chat Noir quitting or otherwise punishing Ladybug for breaking their promise to be each other's first, thereby destroying his faith in their partnership. But that promise was never made on screen. It only existed in the realms of fanfic and, when Chat Noir finally found out in canon, his reaction was largely neutral. He never once blamed Ladybug for her choice or pushed for a reveal or even asked for the right to tell one of his friends.

So what happened here? Why did the fans have such wildly unrealistic expectations of canon? Were their expectations even unrealistic or did canon betray them? The answer to that is not as straight forward as you might think because it all comes back to one of Miraculous' many, many, many writing problems: Miraculous is trying to be both a Magical Girl Show and a romantic comedy, but those are not genres that mesh. You can only be one (or you can be a third thing that we'll get to at the end as it's the easiest way to fix this mess, but I want to mostly focus on where the anger is coming from and why the writing is to blame.)

To discuss this mismatch, we're going to do something that breaks my heart and talk about some of Origins flaws. While I love that episode and unironically refer to it as the best writing the show ever gave us, it's not perfect and its flaws are all focused around trying to set up both genres. Do note that I'm going to use a lot of gender binary language here as magical girl shows have a strong focus on gender segregation and rarely if ever acknowledge gender diversity.

Let's Talk Magical Girls

Magical girl shows are shows that center on young women and their friendships. While male love interests are often present in these shows, the boys tend to take a backseat and function primarily as arm candy while the girls save the day and carry the narrative.

A great example of this is the show Winx Club. This show features a large cast of teenage girls who save the magical universe from various threats with their magical powers. Each girl has a love interest, but the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship. I don't even think that we see the guys fight or, if we do, it's a rare thing. They are not there to save the day. They are there to be shipping fodder.

Like most magical girl shows, Winx Club starts with the main character making friends with one of the girls who will eventually become part of her magical girl squad. This brings us back to Miraculous.

Did you ever find it weird that Origins implies that Marinette has no friends? She doesn't even have a backbone until new girl Alya shows up to become Marinette's First Real Friend:

Marinette: I so wish I can handle Chloé the way you do. Alya: You mean the way Majestia does it. She says all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing. (pointing at Chloé) Well, that girl over there is evil, and we are the good people. We can't let her get away with it.

This is a bizarre opening because Miraculous is not about Marinette making friends or learning to stand up for herself. If you skipped Origins and just watched the rest of the show, then you'd have no clue that Marinette wasn't close with her classmates before this year. You also wouldn't know that Alya was new in town and you definitely wouldn't know that Marinette had never stood up to Chloé before this year. So why is this here? Why waste screen time setting up elements that aren't actually important to canon?

Miraculous did it for the same reason that Winx Club did it: magical girl shows traditionally start with the main character making friends with at least one of her eventual female teammates because Magical Girl shows are all about the girls and their relationships. The boys are just arm candy.

But Miraculous isn't a magical girl show. The writers have explicitly stated that it's a rom-com and romantic comedies aren't about female friendship. They might have female friendships in them, but that's not where the focus is. The focus of a rom-com is on the romance and Origins is very clearly all about the romance.

Origins as a Rom-com

Origins has a lot on its plate. It has to establish the villain's motivation for the first time, show us how the heroes got their miraculous, show us how the heroes first met on both sides of the mask, show us how they met their respective best friends, and show us how the heroes dealt with their first akuma. It would be perfectly understandable if this 40 minute two-parter didn't do anything with the romance. They have a full show to give us that!

In spite of this, Origins has some incredibly touching moments for both Ladynoir and Adrienette because romance is the heart of Miraculous. It is the main focus of the show. The driving motivation for both of our leads and the majority of the show's episodes. To tell the story of how their journey started without at least one of them falling in love would feel wrong. That's why we see both of them fall in love!

First we get Chat Noir giving his heart to his bold and brilliant lady, then we get Marinette's heart being stolen by the shy sweet boy who never once thought to blame her for her snap judgement of his character. We even get a touching moment where Chat Noir inspires his lady to accept her role and be Ladybug, leading her to boldly face their enemy and call him out:

Roger: I have a new plan, unlike you! Move aside and let the pros do their thing. You've already failed once! Ladybug: …He's right, you know. If I'd captured Stoneheart's akuma the first time around, none of this would have happened! I knew I wasn't the right one for this job… Cat Noir: No. He's wrong, because without you, she'd no longer be here. (they look at Chloe) And because without us, they won't make it, and we'll prove that to 'em. Trust me on this. Okay? Ladybug: Okay.

I love this moment, but it does lose a little of its power when you remember that we had an Alya-driven variation of this exact same thing five minutes prior:

Alya: HELP!! (Marinette suddenly gets filled with courage. She gets the case out of Alya's bag and puts on the Miraculous. Then, Tikki appears, happy to see Marinette again.) Tikki:(raising her arms) Mmmm! Marinette: I think I need Ladybug! Tikki: I knew you'd come around! Marinette: Well, I'm still not sure I'm up for this, but Alya's in danger. I can't sit back and do nothing.

This scene initially confused me because - if Miraculous is a rom-com - then why would you make Alya the reason that Marinette became Ladybug? Why wouldn't you have Chat Noir be the one in danger so that Marinette chose to fight because of her love interest and then encourage that bond with the later scene of him encouraging her? Why split the focus like this? Why give Alya so much attention?

In case you haven't figured it out, it's because Origins is trying to establish two different genres of show. Two genres that will continue to fight for the rest of the series (or at least the first five seasons).

Magical Girls Vs Rom-com

Why is Alya the one to shake off the nightmare dust and inspire the others during the season five finale? Why is Alya the one that Marinette trusts with all of her plans while Chat Noir is kept in the dark? Why does Alya and Marinette's friendship get so much more focus than Adrien and Nino's? Why was Alya the only temp hero who got upgraded to full time hero?

It's because Alya is Marinette's second in command in a magical girl show and magical girl shows focus on female friendships while the boys are just there to be cute and support the girls.

Why do most of Marinette's talks with Alya focus on Adrien? Why is Chat Noir the only other full time holder of a Miraculous for the first three seasons and then again for the final season? Why do Marinette's friends become more and more obsessed with Adrienentte as the show goes on? Why is the love square's identity reveal given so much more narrative weight than any other identity reveal?

It's because Miraculous is a rom-com and the love square is our end game couple, so of course the story focuses on their relationship above all else!

Are you starting to see the problem?

Circling back to our original question: no, it was not unreasonable for the fans to expect that the Alya reveal would have massive negative consequences for Ladynoir. That is what should happen in a rom-com and Miraculous is mainly written like a rom-com. But the writers are also trying to write a magical girl show and, in a magical girl show, Alya and Marinette's friendship should be the most important relationship in the show, so it makes perfect sense that the show treats the Alya reveal as perfectly fine because the Alya reveal was written from the magical girl show perspective.

When it comes to Miraculous, if you ever feel like a writing choice makes no sense for genre A, re-frame it as a thing from genre B and it suddenly makes perfect sense which is fascinatingly terrible writing! It's no wonder there are people who hate the Alya reveal and people who will defend it with their life. It all depends on which genre elements you've picked up on and clung to. Neither side is right, they've both been set up to have perfectly valid expectations. Whether those expectations are valid for a given episode is entirely up to the mercurial whims of the writers!

How Do We Fix This Mess

At this point, I don't think that we can, the show is too far gone, but if someone gave me the power to change one element of Miraculous, that element would be this: scrap both the magical girl stuff and the rom-com stuff and turn Miraculous into a team show where the friendships transcend gender.

At this point, I've written over a quarter of a million words of fanfic focused on these characters (the brain rot is real) and one thing I've discovered is that it is damn near impossible to keep Adrien and Alya from becoming friends. They're both new to their school while Marinette and Nino have gone to the same school for at least a few years. Alya and Adrien are both obsessed with Ladybug plus Adrien is a natural hype man who loves to support his friends and Alya loves to talk about her blog. Alya is dating Adrien's best friend. On top of that, Alya, Adrien, Nino, and Marinette are all in the same class, meaning that they pretty much have to be spending time together five days a week unless French school don't give kids a chance to socialize or do group projects. If so, then judging them for the first issue, but super jealous of the latter.

Given all of that, why in the world is does it feel like Alya is Marinette's close friend while Adrien is just some guy who goes to Alya's school? Along similar lines, while canon Marinette barely talks to Nino, I've found that Marinette and Nino tend to get along smashingly, especially if you embrace the fact that they have to have known each other for at least a few years.

If you embrace this wider friendship dynamic and scrap the girl squad, replacing it with Alya, Adrien, Marinette, and Nino, then the fight for narrative importance quickly goes away. It's no longer a question of is this episode trying to be a magical girl show or a rom-com? Instead, the question is: which element of the friend group is getting focused on today? The romance or the friendship?

A lot of hero shows do this and do it well. I think that one of the most well known examples is Teen Titans. That show has five main characters and the focus is usually on their friendships, but there is a very clear running romantic tension between the characters Robin and Starfire with several episodes giving a good deal of focus to their romance. I'd say that this element really starts in the show's the 19th episode - Date with Destiny - and it all culminates in the movie that capstones the series: Trouble in Tokyo. The character Beast Boy also gets a romance arc and, while it's more short lived, it's further evidence that you can have strong romances and strong friendships in the same show and even the same episode. You just have to own the fact that boys and girls can be friends with each other, a very logical thing to embrace when your show has decided to have a diverse cast of heroes instead of imposing arbitrary gender limitations on its magical powers.

I couldn't figure out a way to work this into the main essay, but it's relevant so I wanted to quickly point it out and give you more to think about re Origins. Have you ever found it weird how Origins gives both Adrien AND Marinette the "I've never had friends before" backstory and yet wider canon acts like Marinette has this strong amazing friend group while Adrien doesn't seem to care about making friends and instead focuses all his energy on romance? Why give both the protagonist and the supposed deuteragonist this kind of origin if it's not going to be a major element of the show? It makes so much more sense to only give one of them this backstory and then focus that person's character arc on learning about friendship.

[saccharinescorpion]

4 Things You Can Try Now That You’ve Read THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR

(technically 5 things)

Mabel - a podcast by Becca De La Rosa and Maybell Marten.

Anna Limón is a home help worker currently looking after the elderly Sally Martin. When Sally has a bizarre and frightening reaction to a box of letters Anna finds in her attic one day, Anna attempts to seek answers by contacting Sally’s only known living relative: Mabel Martin.

“A podcast about ghosts, family secrets, strange houses, and missed connections,” Mabel is a story that is difficult to describe, but one of the most important points is that the vast majority of it is an epistolary narrative between Anna and Mabel, just like how This Is How You Lose The Time War is an epistolary narrative between Red and Blue. It also has a very distinct writing style- dramatic, flowery, and a little bit intimidating. However, if you loved the writing style of TIHYLTTW, I personally think that Mabel is a perfect match for you.

And I’m not just saying that because Mabel is a story about two extremely overdramatic women who are somehow both frighteningly caustic yet almost adorably useless.

The Honey Month - a book by Amal El-Mohtar 

I certainly hope I don’t have to tell you this, but Amal El-Mohtar is one of the authors of This Is How You Lose The Time War, and The Honey Month is a short book she wrote several years ago.

The Honey Month is almost more of an experiment than a book- in its introduction, a friend of El-Mohtar explains how she sent her several small samples of honey, leading El-Mohtar to use the gift as in a unique way. For one February, every day she used a different vial of honey as inspiration for a small piece of writing.

The Honey Month contains 28 short pieces of writing, poetry, prose, and some things in between. It’s a small book full of things with big impact, and contains the lyrical yet meaty writing I enjoyed from El-Mohtar in TIHYLTTW.

Otherside Picnic (裏世界ピクニック) - A series of novels by Iori Miyazawa (illustrated by Shirakaba)

College sophomore Sorawo Kamikoshi longs to find an escape from other people, and in trying to find it discovers the Otherside, a strangely beautiful yet unfathomably dangerous parallel world inhabited by the-once-fictional creatures she knows from net lore. She also meets Toriko Nishina, another young woman with a knowledge of firearms and a desire to find her missing mentor. Together, these two girls explore the Otherside and find themselves changing little by little, both due to their adventures, but also due to their relationship with each other.

If you know me you probably aren’t surprised at this reccomendation. Otherside Picnic is a truly odd beast- it’s sci-fi, it’s horror, it’s comedy, it’s yuri. It’s about trauma, it’s about Japanese creepypasta, it’s about useless lesbians, and it’s about how the scariest thing of all is being vulnerable with another human being. I think fans of  This Is How You Lose The Time War  will enjoy it- Otherside Picnic’s writing style will likely feel almost spartan compared to TIHYLTTW, but in my opinion there’s a similar level of poetry in it. There’s also a similar level of women who are “badass” yet kind of messes. You’ve heard of “Enemies to Lovers,” get ready for “Accomplices to Lovers”!

(there’s also a manga adaptation by Eita Mizuno, as well as an anime adaptation directed by Takuya Sato)

The Handmaiden (아가씨) - a movie directed by Park Chan-wook (written by Park and Chung Seo-kyung, based on the novel Fingersmith by Sarah Waters)

In Japan-occupied Korea, the pickpocket Sook-hee is recruited by a con-man to aide him in his scam of a Japanese heiress, Lady Hideko. While the con-man poses as “Count Fujiwara” and woos Hideko, Sook-hee will play the part of her maid and subtly push the heiress towards him. But as time passes, Sook-hee begins to realize there are things occuring in the mansion that are even more sinister than her and the Count’s scheme, and there is much, much more to Hideko than meets the eye.

This is a list of recommendations for “people who have finished “This Is How You Lose The Time War,” but I try to recommend The Handmaiden to as many people as I possibly can. I’ve described it in the past as the cinematic equivalent of running a marathon: with a 144 minute runtime full of gorgeous direction and set design, dark machinations, twisted yet romantic writing, often troubling themes, and so, so many plot twists, it’s a movie that nearly feels like too much of a good thing. But for fans of TIHYLTTW, I’m sure what will intrigue you most is the relationship between the two main characters, one so complicated that “Enemies to Lovers” can’t hope to capture the roiling feelings of pity, guilt, hatred, desire, annoyance, sympathy, and everything in between. 

It’s also just really hot.

The Handmaiden is a movie that is best enjoyed going in knowing as little as possible. That said, it is also a story with dark and often upsetting themes that are absolutely crucial to its narrative. If you are concerned about that statement,  I reccomend looking at the movies’ entry on DoesTheDogDie, which I have looked at and found to be a pretty comprehesive list of content warnings that can be examined in a way that doesn’t spoil the twists of the story.

Fingersmith - a novel by Sarah Waters

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I swear I’m going to get around to it!! I can’t technically recommend the book that inspired The Handmaiden since I haven’t read it yet, but I have at least one friend whose opinion I trust who sings its praises, so it’s good enough for me. Besides, if the recent popularity of This Is How You Lose The Time War has showed us anything, it’s that people constantly crave stories about complicated women, so it certainly can’t hurt, right?

[bethanydelleman]

There’s a new book out called The Darcy Myth that says in the summary that P&P is actually a “horror novel” about how scary love is for women… I know the Bennet sisters’ situation is precarious but to call it a “horror novel” ? :P

Okay... so... ug.... did this woman even read Pride & Prejudice? Because from the news coverage I would say no. Let me highlight some passages from the article:

Darcy should be considered the main antagonist of the famous love story

Not Wickham? Not the man who runs off with literal teenage girls?

Darcy pays Wickham to marry Lydia, saving her reputation, and later tells Elizabeth, “I thought only of you” when acting. For Feder, this phrase is proof of the hero’s self-interest. Darcy condemns Lydia to a life with an amoral man, all so the Bennets don’t become so disreputable that he won’t be able to marry the woman he loves.

Um, sorry, but no. Darcy tried to get Lydia away FIRST, she refused, he respected Lydia's autonomy as a human being. Becoming brother-in-law to Wickham was probably worse for Darcy personally than Lydia being "ruined"

I found Feder’s exploration of “Pride and Prejudice”as a Gothic novel — rather than a comedy of manners — far more compelling than her critique of Darcy.

Wut? No. Not even a little bit, what? That is a different genre.

“Darcy helped codify the dominant expectation that potential romantic partners — especially heterosexual men — are not only still eligible but in fact more appealing when they play a little hard to get, even if playing hard to get involves cruelty, insults, expressions of disinterest, ruining your beloved sister’s chances of happiness, and other red flags,” she writes. Women spend their time, energy and emotions on men who, quite simply, are not worth their effort.

Okay, except ELIZABETH NEVER TRIES ANYTHING WITH DARCY. She just sits there and he falls in love with her. If she did put effort into any relationship it was with Wickham, who again, is presented as a massive red flag in the end. This line of argument is wild.

Yet, seeing the sheer number of times women pursue cruel men in pop culture laid out one after another — in Disney movies, Taylor Swift songs and much more — is affecting. Feder concludes convincingly that this cultural conviction harms women in the same way the patriarchal boundaries of the regency did. She writes: “If we zoom out, we see that the Darcy myth also helps to prop up and fortify a very Gothic, patriarchal universe that is, and always has been, scary for anyone who is not a very particular type of man. After all, if we are trained from childhood to invest ourselves in men who treat us poorly, aren’t we more likely to end up in abusive situations and under threat of assault?”

Okay, so this is a valid point, but it also is based on a misreading of Pride & Prejudice or is heavily influenced by adaptations. Darcy isn't cruel, he's snobby and somewhat rude but definitely NOT cruel. Wickham is exactly the type of man you want to avoid: charming until he isn't.

ALSO WHAT DISNEY PRINCE IS AN ASSHOLE??? @princesssarisa? Can you be offended at that one in my stead?

So... this book sounds like rage-bait insanity and I won't be reading it until proved otherwise. Putting it on the avoid shelf along with Secret Radical.

Last note: There is a valid point to be made that jerks or dark broody men have been romanticized, but Austen DOES NOT DO THAT. That is not an Austen thing. Use an actual problematic Gothic or Byronic hero.

[hollandorks]

haven

battinson! bruce wayne x f! reader

chapter six

Summary: After the sudden deaths of your mother and grandmother, you’re forced to return home to Gotham…and to the man who broke your heart three years ago. Back in Bruce Wayne’s inescapable orbit, you vow to get to the bottom of your former best friend’s new cold personality. But Bruce’s secrets aren’t what you’re expecting. a

a/n: Slowing down a little in this chapter and giving a fun bit of insight into their relationship! With angst, of course. This fic is so much fun to write, I'm glad to see that others are enjoying it too! Also not to beg but I'm begging you to comment, reblog with comments/ comments in the tags, or message/ send an ask if you like this fic. I literally live off of feedback and have been getting mostly likes and maybe 5-6 people commenting. Anyways, enjoy!

Series Masterlist

word count: 2.7k

She might be able to expose a mob conspiracy and the Batman’s identity in one fell swoop. 

It was all she could think of as Gordon drove her home.

Y/n was fourteen years old when she realized that she wanted to kiss Bruce Wayne. She had only recently realized that she wanted to kiss anyone at all, and for some reason, her mind kept going back to Bruce. 

She still remembered the exact moment. 

It was in that moment, too, that she realized she loved Bruce as a bit more than her best friend. 

They were doing homework in the study under Alfred’s watchful eye. It had only been a few years since the death of his parents and Bruce was slowly but surely shifting into the anger stage of grief. He’d gone from shy and scared and emotional to angry and sullen and withdrawn. 

As they worked, Bruce nudged her knee with his and nodded to where Alfred had dozed off. They shared a secret smile and immediately quit working–they’d start again once Alfred woke. They hadn’t needed to say a word to communicate. Almost ten years of being friends had given them a silent language. 

And as the buttery golden afternoon light poured through the window and lit Bruce’s face, she felt it. 

Bruce was just going through puberty, his voice cracking and deepening, his body growing to that gangly, awkward height of teenage boys. She knew he was becoming a man. The thought always made a little swoop go through her stomach.

As he smiled that secret smile, she studied him. His lips looked chapped but, at fourteen, she’d never seen anything more alluring. 

She realized that he never smiled at anyone, even Alfred. Especially Alfred. And not her sweet, patient grandmother either, who easily coaxed smiles from y/n even when she was in the worst of teenage moods. 

Bruce only smiled for her. 

It was that realization that made her heart want to lay a claim to him. Quietly yet suddenly, her love for Bruce shifted into something more. And she wanted to kiss the smile from his lips like the bold women in the romantic comedies she liked. 

But it wasn’t until she was sixteen that she had her first kiss with a boy. And he hadn’t been Bruce Wayne. 

Two weeks after that, she had her first kiss with a girl to see if she liked that better. 

But the girl hadn’t been Bruce Wayne either. 

And every kiss after that, boy or girl or otherwise, was not Bruce Wayne, and it never measured up. She’d never kissed him, ever, in their entire lives together, but her heart knew that it would never want anything or anyone else. 

Kissing Bruce wasn’t what y/n dreamt that night, though, after she got home from her secret meeting with a cop and a vigilante. 

No, it was the last time she had slept in Bruce’s bed. 

As children, they had been almost like security blankets to each other. She had been only five years old when her mother had abandoned her for good and she had come to live at Wayne Tower with her grandmother. Her first nightmare woke her to a tiny face with bright blue eyes surrounded by wild, dark hair. 

“I have scary dreams too,” he’d whispered and then scooched up on her bed. They played with the dinosaur toys he’d brought with him until they fell asleep, side by side. It was as easy as that. She and Bruce became inseparable. Often they would sneak into each others’ rooms and play with various toys until falling asleep. 

And after the murder of the Waynes…most nights they spent together, two children seeking safety and comfort with each other in the way only children knew how. For three years, Bruce couldn’t sleep without her. 

But, as they grew older, Alfred and Dory forbade it, saying it wasn’t proper. They’d each, separately, gotten the birds and the bees talk. 

They were eighteen, a week from graduation, the last time it happened. By that age, y/n had harbored her secret crush for four years. She struggled to maintain that fine line between remaining his best friend and acting normal, and soaking up all of the attention he would give her like a plant left in the dark for too long searching for sunlight. 

That was back in his street racing days, where he invented new ways to make cars go faster then took to the streets to test them out. Alfred had caught him sneaking out that night and Bruce was angry. Too angry. She listened to them argue until she heard Bruce’s bedroom door slam and then slam again. 

So she’d ordered one of every kind of pizza (with his card of course, nice and new for his eighteenth birthday) and dug out all of the soda and snacks both salty and sweet she could find. They were going to have a movie night, and all of Bruce’s favorites would be featured. She had found over the years that Bruce could be cheered by unhealthy snacks and quiet company. Her other option was to create a distraction so he could actually sneak out, but she was selfish and wanted to spend time with him before college changed their lives. 

It took him a while to settle down and stop pacing and cursing, but finally, finally, he got sucked into the movie. Within an hour, he had given in and relaxed. 

It was one of those moments, frequent throughout her life, where he smiled just for her, and she fell a little bit more in love. 

The dream she was having at that moment wasn’t exactly right with the details. In the way of dreams, everything was slightly off, the proportions wrong, the specifics muddled. The food was blurry, incorporeal, the TV too close to the ceiling. The bed took up most of the room when in reality the room itself was huge.

But the feeling? The feeling was the same. 

She was in Bruce’s arms. He was a clinger when he slept, like she was a teddy bear that soothed him. In a way, she was, simply because of the habit formed in childhood. 

In the dream, she was safe once more in the haven of his arms. His breath tickled the hairs on the back of her neck and he was so, so warm. In life, she had rolled away because being too close to him had been almost painful in how right it felt. 

In the dream, she curled closer. 

She had missed their easy closeness. Even after they stopped sharing a bed, they had hugged or spoken in nudges or touches like the best friends they were. It was another of those things like his smiles that he reserved only for her. 

All that had stopped three years ago. 

Now, safe in the dream, y/n burrowed into Bruce’s comforting warmth. 

She felt whole. 

The grief, the pain, all of it was gone as his arms tightened around her. 

When she woke, her cheeks were wet. 

She and Bruce would never share that closeness again. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, she could see that that final night was the beginning of the end. College had further separated them, though the years after had made them close again. 

So close that she had felt confident in spilling her biggest secret. 

Only to have her heart broken. 

She was struck with the sudden need to see Bruce, to tell him she was sorry, to tell him she missed him, to tell him she forgave him for those awful words spoken between them. She wanted to be friends again. Even if it hurt. Even if he never loved her like she loved him. 

I don’t love you, and I never will. 

But he had loved her as a friend, once, and maybe still did. Maybe things weren’t ruined–maybe, with enough time, enough effort, they could be patched. 

Any alternative was better than her current reality. She couldn’t live next to him like strangers, ignoring their shared past. She couldn’t stop loving him, even if she only ever got to do so as a friend. 

She shoved her blankets away and rose unsteadily to her feet. She was still half-asleep, her brain sluggish, her eyes heavy. 

She couldn’t stop crying. 

She wanted, for a moment, to not feel so alone. 

She wandered to Bruce’s room first, but it was dark and empty. She couldn’t bring herself to enter completely the site of her heartbreak, so she searched the study next, where he could sometimes be found curled up with a book or tuning his guitar. Then she looked in the kitchen and all of the guest rooms. 

His parents’ room was still padlocked, as it had been for two decades, and she knew he wasn’t in there. 

Nothing in the library or gym, either, or the room with a desk he had named his office but never used. 

Nothing but dust and ghosts in the entire place. 

She just needed to see him. Just needed to tell him that she forgave him. Just needed him to tell her they could be friends again. Just needed him to tell her that he didn’t hate her. 

There was only one place left to search. 

She hadn’t been in Bruce’s private elevator in a long time. His elevator was for his use only, more private than even the private residential elevator. There were three destinations–the residence, a private exit to the parking garage, and the basement. 

In their late teens and early twenties, when Bruce was into modifying cars and racing them illegally, he had converted the abandoned Wayne Terminus station into a garage of sorts. Last she had seen it–maybe eight or ten years before–he had three cars all in varying stages of disarray. 

She pressed the button to take her down into the very depths of Wayne Tower. 

Nothing happened. 

She pressed it again. And again. 

She frowned. 

As far as she knew, this was the only way into that garage except for a secret tunnel that had been part of the old subway line. It opened miles away, though, and she had never been out that way. She wouldn’t even know where to start looking if she decided to try to find the end of it. 

She thumped a closed fist beside the panel and cursed colorfully. 

Could nothing go her way? It was thing after thing after thing the past few days and it all caught up with her when that stupid elevator button didn’t work. 

She didn’t fight the tears. 

It was all too much. Too much pain, too much loss, too much fear, too much everything. It had been the worst fucking week of her life and even the potential of her article wasn’t enough to temper it. She had survived, but at what cost? To have no one, nothing? To be murdered at some future date? To have a fucking mob hit out on her? 

The worst part was that she didn’t want to die, even though it would have been so much easier. 

Y/n sobbed and slid to the cold metal floor of the elevator. 

“Fuck,” she mumbled as she tapped the floor with her knuckles. She remembered the pain of the night Bruce broke her heart, as if it had been carved out, how she’d had to wrap her arms around her middle so as not to fall apart. That pain was back, but worse this time, because her grandmother wasn’t there to put her back together. 

She just wanted–she didn’t know what she wanted. She wanted things the way they used to be, before that night three years ago. She wanted her grandmother alive and her whole life ahead of her and Bruce to still be her friend. 

But she knew it was naive. Everything had changed and there was no way out except through. 

Yet how could she get through this? She drew up her knees and tucked her head down. How could she get through this without her best friend? Without her grandmother? Her life was at risk and she had nothing but the flimsiest bit of protection that Wayne Tower provided. She had no one to talk to, no one to make her feel better. 

The only thing she could do was investigate things herself. She could only get herself out of this mess. She only had herself to rely on now. 

The thought hurt. She cried on the floor of that small, dingy elevator for a long time. She cried for the girl she used to be. She cried for her grandmother. For her mother. For the loss of Bruce as a friend. For the fear that haunted her now. 

Her eyes fluttered open later as she felt herself moving through the air. 

It must have been a dream, because she was in Bruce Wayne’s arms. He glanced down at her with tired blue eyes. His dark hair was lank with sweat and plastered to his forehead, halfway in his eyes. Her eyes slid closed before she could focus on the darkness around the blue. 

It was a nice dream, especially after the overwhelming grief that had crippled her in the elevator. Her subconscious needed the comfort. 

She nuzzled her head into Bruce’s warm neck and hummed. He smelled like sweat and motor oil and Bruce. His heart thumped steadily in her ear where she rested her head. 

“I miss you,” she murmured, content in the fact that it wasn’t real. She could tell dream Bruce anything she wanted. 

But he was so warm, and she was so tired. 

She drifted off again.  

–

When y/n woke again, she was in her own bed. 

She stretched languidly. She could immediately tell she’d slept deep and well for once. 

Then she sat bolt upright. 

She had fallen asleep in the elevator, not her bed. 

Hadn’t she? 

She frowned. Maybe getting up and searching for Bruce had been the dream. The entire night had edges fuzzy with grief and exhaustion. Maybe she had searched for Bruce and fallen asleep in the elevator, only to walk back to bed half asleep. 

The only thing she knew for sure was that Bruce Wayne hadn’t carried her to bed. There was no way that had been real. Because only someone who still cared for her would carry her back to bed, tuck her in gently. And Bruce didn’t care for her anymore. 

Her heart ached all over again. 

She missed him. 

To keep her mind off of it, she decided to go ahead and get together an update and outline for her new editor Jansen. She didn’t have much, but she included the new knowledge of one suspect’s supposed suicide. After a quick search, she saw that the news hadn’t been released to the press yet. Score one for Gordon as an informant. 

The word informant rang a bell in her mind and she quickly searched her personal email for a response from Officer Martinez. 

Dear y/n, 

Thank you for reaching out. I’m real sorry you haven’t been doing well. I can promise that Lieutenant Gordon is the best there is for this case and he’ll do everything he can to catch the guy. 

One suspect committed suicide rather than tell us anything about the one who got away. But another one seemed scared by that and told us that the Gallo family had sent them. Maybe you’ve heard of them–New York mobsters. 

If you feel scared at all or see anything suspicious, here’s my cell number. I’ll also include Lieutenant Gordon’s in case you can’t reach me. 

We’ll keep you safe.

Best, 

Officer Martinez

It was a professional but sweet response. 

And it scared her.

Confirmed ties to the Gallo family didn’t bode well for her. For Gotham, either. That meant they were reaching into the city, trying to fill the holes that Falcone left behind. 

She cursed quietly and added that to her list of clues. 

She rubbed her eyes. She hadn’t even had coffee yet. 

First, she needed caffeine. 

Then she needed to make a plan to figure out what the hell was going on. 

If only it were that simple. She had no contacts or sources in Gotham–at least none that would be able to tell her about the Gallo family. 

All she had was an eager cop, a detective, and the detective’s vigilante best friend. 

She hoped it would be enough.

Next Chapter

taglist:

@ktficworld @grunge-n-roses5 @anon-cat-posts @projectdreamwalker @warsaur @lachillona02 @crazyunsexycool @doetic @alexiris @that-girl-named-alex @harry-bowie-mercury @vaniasagitaa @widows-writings @missing-loki @exactlyelegantwizard

[tarotenvelhecida]

pick a card– which book speaks to your soul?

You read something which you thought only happened to you, and you discover that it happened 100 years ago to Dostoyevsky. This is a very great liberation for the suffering, struggling person, who always thinks that he is alone. This is why art is important.

—Conversations with James Baldwin.

this is my love letter to all the bookworms in the tarot community— pick a pile & i'll give you a list of genres + book suggestions carrying important messages to you.

I. THE FIRST

To the daydreamers and the escapists; to the ones that need to rest before following what you need follow.

RELEVANT GENRES & CONCEPTS– fiction in general; romance; fantasy; fairytale; poetry; ‘happy ever after’ endings; hopeful endings; fantasy; magic; dreamy.

AUTHORS – Ursula K. Le Guin; Louise Gluck; Mary Oliver; Jane Austen.

BOOKS FOR YOU–

‘The Paper Garden: An Artist Begins Her Life’s Work at 72 – Molly Peacock'

‘Good Bones – Maggie Smith’

‘If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho – Translation by Anne Carson’

‘Owls and Other Fantasies – Mary Oliver’

‘Dog Songs – Mary Oliver’

‘Emma – Jane Austen’

‘Howl’s Moving Castle – Diana Wynne Jones’

‘The Little Prince – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’

‘Death Comes for the Archbishop – Willa Cather’

‘Sonnets from the Portuguese – Elizabeth Barrett Browning’

‘The Hawk and the Dove – Penelope Wilcock’

‘The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll: The Search for Dare Wright’

‘The Ink Dark Moon – Ono no Komachi & Izumi Shikibu’

‘Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll’

‘The Letters of Vita Sackville-West and Virginia Woolf’

‘Little Women – Louisa May Alcott’

‘Anne of Green Gables – L.M. Montgomery’

‘Kissing the Witch: Old Tales in New Skins – Emma Donoghue’

II. THE SECOND

For the ones that carry the ache to learn and know everything; to the ones bored with life's commodities & seriousness. For the ones that question everything around them – as they should do.

You do not need to fit in. Don't change yourself for other people. If they want to see you this way, then become the proud witch in the edge of the woods.

RELEVANT GENRES & CONCEPTS– books on 'niche' knowledge; science; philosophy; true crime; drama; scandalous romances; adventure, magical realism; YA thriller & horror; comedy & sardonic comedy; ‘controversial’/'weird' books.

AUTHORS– Carmen Maria Machado, Kate Moore, Grady Hendrix.

BOOKS FOR YOU–

‘My Sister, The Serial Killer – Oyinkan Braithwaite'

‘The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales – Oliver Sacks'

‘St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves – Karen Russell'

‘Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife – Mary Roach’

‘The Hitchhiker Guide to Galaxy – Douglas Adams'

‘Inferno – Dante Alighieri'

'Magic for Beginners – Kelly Link'

‘Lace Bone Beast: Poems & Other Fairytales for Wicked Girls – N.L. Shompole'

‘Severed: A History of Heads Lost and Heads Found – Frances Larson’

'The Woman They Could Not Silence – Kate Moore'

‘The Dictionary of Lost Words – Pip Williams'

‘She Kills Me: The True Stories of History’s Deadliest Women – Jennifer Wright’

‘Anatomy: A Love Story – Dana Schwartz'

‘Pretty Dead Queens – Alexa Donne'

‘I’m Glad My Mom Died – Jennette McCurdy'

'Rabid: A Cultural History of the World's Most Diabolical Virus – Bill Wasik'

‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina – Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’

III. THE THIRD

You need to put your sadness somewhere. If you can't, remember that someone has done it before – and transformed it into a story. Let the words you'll read be the resting place for whatever you're feeling right now; let yourself remember that not even your pain is lonely in this world.

RELEVANT GENRES AND CONCEPTS— poetry; gothic horror; thrillers; murder mysteries; tragedies; cathartic stories; biographies.

AUTHORS– Shirley Jackson, Osamu Dazai, Clarice Lispector, Sylvia Plath.

BOOKS FOR YOU—

'The Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion'

‘The Dead – James Joyce'

‘What The Living Do – Marie Howe'

‘The Hour of the Star – Clarice Lispector'

‘Why This World: A Biography of Clarice Lispector’

‘Some of Us Did Not Die – June Jordan'

Somewhere Towards the End – Diana Athill'

‘We Have Always Lived in The Castle – Shirley Jackson'

'Heaven: A Novel – Mieko Kawakami'

'Journal of a Solitude – May Sarton'

'Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte'

'Grief is the Thing with Feathers – Max Porter'

‘Carrie – Stephen King'

'Of Dogs and Walls – Yuko Tsushima'

'Frankenstein – Mary Shelley'

'The Stepping Off Place – Cameron Kelly'

'Letters to Milena – Franz Kafka'

‘Beloved – Toni Morrison'

[dragonclaw29]

Top Ten Manga

It’s been a minute since I last uploaded a top ten of any kind, Grad school will do that to you. However, now with my studies almost over I thought I would revisit my top ten manga and see what new titles have amazed me! 

-Note I am not including Webcomics so if you want Manhwa and the like let me know and I will make a separate list. 

10. Sakamoto Days

Starting off with a bang we have Sakamoto Days. In a world of assassins even a mild mannered fat store clerk could be a tough challenge. That is definitely true for Sakamoto the former top assassin in Japan. Watch as Sakamoto is targeted by Esper's, Triad members, and old friends as he battles to protect his home and his daughter. It’s a fantastic read and great for the action lover and comedian a like. 

9. Claymore 

Claymore tells the tale of an elite class of women tasked to fight off monsters who plague the land. Clair the last member of this group must protect the peace, her new friend Rakka, and her self. However, dark secrets lurk in this world and the shadowy organization that dispatches the Claymores may not be as kind as they appear. 

8. A Story about a Droid 

I debated about including this because it is such a short read. But it is also a very good and cute read. This story is about a droid who finds a baby and decides to take care of him. In order to care for the child the droid puts on a human disguise. The story follows the droid and her child as she raises him in a post apocalyptic world. 

7. Berserk

RIP Muria I will always be heartbroken that you passed before finishing this wonder of a story. This manga has always been one of my favorites and for good reason. The art is fantastic, the story is gripping, and the characters are dynamic. However, this manga is shocking, cruel, and depressing- not for the faint of heart. 

6. Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki Kun

Monthly Girls Nozaki is the tale of a girl in love. Chiyo has been in love with Nozaki for a while and she finally decides that she has had enough. Working up the courage she confesses to him, only for him to give her an autograph. Turns out her class mate is world famous in the realm of shoujo manga and has never been in love. Chiyo’s confession goes right over his head leaving her dumbfounded but not hopeless. This manga is a great romantic comedy including some of my favorite characters in fiction. Definitely worth a read if you want to laugh a night away. 

5. Dungeon Meshi

Have you ever been playing DnD and been like “hmmm I wonder what a Mimic tastes like?” If so I have the manga for you! Dungeon Meshi or delicious in dungeon follows a group of adventures as they venture into a dungeon to save the main character Laos’s sister. However, with no supplies they are forced to eat their way through to survive, much to the disdain of the party except for Laos he loves it. 

4. Sousou No Frienen

We all know elves live a long time but sometimes it doesn’t hit an elf until they have seen their old comrades fade away. Frenen is old even and has wandered the world in search of rare magic, and I mean rare not necessarily useful. Only after being recruited to aid the hero’s party and defeating the demon king does she come to realize that human relationships are complex and that time is fleeting. This is a great fantasy manga with great magic and quirky characters as I write this I am rereading the manga for the fourth time. 

3. Yotsubato!

Man aren’t five year old's hectic little animals?! Yotsuba is a young girl in a new neighborhood who isn’t afraid to wander off, get into trouble, or of anything except for maybe scary statues. This manga follows her life with her dad living every day to the fullest. If you are feeling down this is a great pick me up. I reread during finals and it really helped. 

2. Tongari Boss/ Witch Hat Alter

Witches are born with the ability to use magic and normal people aren’t. At least that’s what they say but what happens when a young girl gets a glimpse at the secret of magic. What if the reason magic is solely for witches because of the great danger magic can place not only yourself but the world in. Witch hat alter is one of the best fantasy manga out there right now and I want the next chapter to come out already!!!

1. Chainsaw Man

I remember the conversation that led me to read chainsaw man years ago. It went something like 

“Hey dude you should totally read this manga it’s badass!”

“Really? What’s it about?”

Insert a few seconds of silence 

“Well.. It’s about a dude who turns into a chainsaw and kills devils” 

“That’s insane” 

“Trust me it’s sooo good you have to try it! It has a section where he rides a shark into battle while on fire!” 

And with that fateful line I decided to give it a read. All I can say is thank you for telling me to read it because I love this manga. It is so funny, and crazy, and sad, and mind bending, and so many other things. I never thought a story about a dude who literally has a chainsaw growing out of his face would make me cry but life works in funny ways. 

Well that’s my list. I hope you find some of these recommendations helpful. If you have any questions, or want more let me know!! Have a great Summer!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, everyone, let’s talk Taskmaster speculation. I hate how stuff about the lineup for the following season can overshadow a season before it ends, or sometimes, like in this case, before it starts. It was around this time last year that they announced the Taskmaster season 17 studio filming dates, which perfectly coincided with some live gigs John Robins had canceled, so we all took time to get excited about that s17 lineup spoiler before season 16 had ever begun to air. Now, season 18 hasn’t started yet but we’re already talking about 19.

Spoiler alert, obviously, for vague speculation. I have no inside information or anything, so if you click through, you won’t be party to anything that’s meant to be secret. Just guesses based on publicly available information, which I know some people like to avoid, to preserve the surprise.

First of all, I find this Reddit post from a few weeks ago interesting. That obviously can’t be the exact five person lineup. First of all, Scroobius Pip would be a possible NYT candidate, probably not close enough to comedy for the main show. Secondly, obviously, all-white lineup. Thirdly, there’s no overseas person on the list, and we know from Alex’s recent interview that the season will contain that.

So it won’t be all five, but it could be a few of those. Social media evidence has been surprisingly accurate before, I remember in season 12, people accurately predicted 4/5 names before the studio filming started, just based on who’d recently followed Alex and each other. This may of course be wishful thinking on my part, that such vague social media evidence means anything, because that list contains two people who are on the shortlist of my dream contestants. Josie Long and Chris Addison would both be wonderful on there, particularly if they somehow ended up on the same season as each other.

Josie Long really should be there. She was the only women on the original Edinburgh Taskmaster in 2010, where there were a lot of men. Look at all the men in this video:

The non-Josie Long contestants there were: Dan Atkinson, Jarred Christmas, James Dowdeswell, Tim Fitzhigham, Steve Hall, Tim Key, Lloyd Langford, Mark Watson, Henning Wehn, Joe Wilkinson, Mike Wozniak, and Tom Wrigglesworth. Josie Long spent a lot of years being the "only girl in the lineup" for lots of things, between when she started stand-up in 1997 and when they invented other female comedians in 2014 (I apologize to Jo Brand for that joke, who also spent years holding it down for women on panel shows before they let women on panel shows, no women were allowed to do that stuff in the 00s unless they were named Josephine). I think she should be compensated for that in the 2020s by being allowed to appear on pretty much anything she likes.

More significantly, she was also on the second of the Taskmaster live Edinburgh shows, in 2011. See if you can spot the odd one out in the contestants from The Taskmaster 2011: Bruce Dessau, Dan Atkinson, Henning Wehn, Joe Wilkinson, Josie Long, Lloyd Langford, Mark Watson, Steve Hall, Stuart Goldsmith and Tim Key. Yes, you are right, the odd one out is Bruce Dessau, for not being a comedian. Was he ever a comedian? It did not occur to me to wonder that until right now, did most comedy reviewers start out their careers as comedians, the way most sports commentators started out as athletes in that sport? I don't know. It's not important. But if he was ever a comedian, he sure wasn't one anymore by 2011, and it is notable that when recruiting comedians for his comedy show, Alex Horne brought in the same number of reviewers who don't perform comedy, as he did of women who do perform comedy.

Obviously the odd one out in the above list is actually Josie Long, as the only woman again. And I say this one is more significant because she made the finals, where she faced off against Stuart Goldsmith in a battle of who could fit the most grapes in their mouth, administered by 2010 champion Mike Wozniak:

and she won:

Mike Wozniak won the first live Taskmaster event, and he's been on the TV show. Josie Long, by rights as a live Edinburgh Taskmaster champion, should be. In addition to her being, you know, a very talented comedian and generally funny person who would be absolutely excellent on Taskmaster.

She has now done two full shows in the last five years, and is working on a third, about how she's very very busy these days, creating and then raising two children, and has moved to Glasgow so getting down for London-based comedy shows isn't so easy, so it's possible that she's been offered a spot on previous Taskmaster seasons and turned it down, which would be fair enough. But she should definitely qualify for an offer, for a number of reasons, some of which are real (I do sort of genuinely think that winning one of the original live Taskmaster events should earn someone the chance to be part of it when it becomes a lucrative television show, but obviously far more significant is that she's a very talented comedian and generally funny person who would be absolutely excellent on Taskmaster), and some of which are not (I was joking about the reparations for female comedians who were on panel shows before that 2014 rule, mostly, I mean it does feel like they should get something).

A friend of mine noticed that some gigs she did in London, back in June, had an odd hole in them that could be shaped like the filming of Taskmaster house tasks, for someone who lives in Glasgow and, if she had to go down to London to film a TV show, would want to make the most of the trip and plan some stand-up gigs around it. That, combined with the social media evidence presented on Reddit (and the fact that she surely has more right to a spot than anyone else who's not been on it yet), makes me think there's a reasonable chance of her being on season 19. I may be starting to believe this theory a bit too much, I need to pull back on that so I won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen. It's two pieces of evidence, but they're both fairly flimsy and circumstantial.

Chris Addison was also on that list of people who've moved into Alex Horne's social media orbit, and there is, of course, lots of precedent in his Tweets for making his feelings toward that show clear. First, a couple of Tweets that let us know he's not off in Glasgow doing his own thing; if he's not been on Taskmaster it's because he's not been given the offer:

And he's tried various Twitter tactics to get that offer, including showing off his knowledge of the show:

Flattery:

Selling his potential, and reverse psychology, combined into one Tweet:

And just implying that his casting is inevitable, like that'll manifest it into existence:

Chris Addison has been campaigning for ages to get a Taskmaster spot, and I think he'd make great TV if that happened. God, imagine a team with him and Josie Long together. How excellent would that be? Oh, and if he's on season 19, that's 2/3 of The Department covered in two seasons. Only one more member of that radio show they'd still need, if only Taskmaster would suddenly decide they're interested in casting someone who lives overseas, is a big name there, but maybe still has some connection to British comedy...

No, obviously I know the "overseas contestant" to whom Alex recently referred can't be John Oliver. They'll be filming the studio portions of season 19 during the peak of the American election campaign, John Oliver's a bit busy these days to fly to England and count eggs or whatever. If it was going to happen, it would have been last year during the writer's strike, when John had just done the Horne Section TV show and could surely have fit in an NYT filming. I'd love to get my hopes up, but not this time.

I am interested in the speculation about who the American will be, though. Obviously my first thought was of Paul F. Tompkins, as he's done the Taskmaster podcast twice, both times claiming to be a huge fan of the show, and backing up that claim by frequently beating Ed Gamble at knowing Taskmaster history. He said both times that he'd love to be on it, has even though about things like what his costume would be.

He was my first thought, and then I read that he's performing in the UK in September, so that seems like a pretty strong case for him. I thought I read at some point that he was doing the Comedy Bang Bang tour and then some other gigs with a possible Taskmaster-sized hole in between, and if that were true, it would be very clear evidence, either he's doing Taskmaster or he's pranking the public into thinking he is. But upon further research I don't think that's true, he'd doing the podcast tour and that's it. I still think he's a very likely candidate, just not as clear-cut as if he were doing one thing in Britain, and then another thing with a hole in the middle. If anyone else has also read that thing that I think I read somewhere that says he's doing that, and you know what that is, please let me know because I'd like to know if I've missed something and that's true after all.

My guess for the American contestant is still Paul F. Tompkins, and I think he'd be fun. Admittedly I only know him from Bojack Horseman and those two Taskmaster podcast episodes, but I generally assume anyone who was in Bojack Horseman is probably cool (partly because that show was a masterpiece, but it's not like Paul F. Tompkins wrote it, so I think that view mainly comes from a subconscious assumption I have that anyone who's ever met Kristen Schaal has to be all right), and he was very good on those Taskmaster podcast episodes.

Either way, I think this is a good time for me to jump on the Paul F. Tompkins bandwagon. I've had his stand-up on my list of stuff to get to for ages, and I think I'll watch/listen to that stuff now. If he's on Taskmaster, then great, I've jumped on a bandwagon at the right time and I'll go in knowing more about him. If he's not, I think I'll still have a good time with his comedy, as I keep hearing how great it is. There really is a lot I don't know about American comedy.

Besides Tompkins, from the vague evidence I've seen, I think Hank Green is an outside shot at the overseas Taskmaster contestant. I don't know what Dropout is and I hope Taskmaster doesn't force me to find out.

[artsandstoriesandstuff]

Before I get started I should specify what the Piper James series is. It was first intended to be a satirical (not critical, necessarily) look at the hero and villain genre, that slowly delved into the deeper themes and effects of the plot on the characters and a look into the characters themselves. If I were to sum up the genre I'd say it's a "satire superhero (dark) comedy"? I don't know.

With that out of the way...

Piper James Episodes (And Episode Revisions) Part 1 - Season 1

The season that started it all. Lots of the episodes have either unclear or weird things about them, so a lot of them have been revised. Enjoy!

Episode One (Pilot) (Case: Shady-Spa/Case: Perfect-Picnic): "During a surprise break, Piper visits the spa Sandra picked up a job at, only for them both to realize it’s a trap by CHAOS/Piper wants a peaceful picnic “date” with Sandra, while an angry T20 tries to sabotage their plan using a giant...robot...ant."

Significance: This was the debut of Piper James. Otherwise, pretty boring.

Episode Two (Case: T20-is-Good?*/Case: Brooke-is-Broke-(Again)): T20 gets hit by a big book and begins acting like a regular person/Later, Brooke, the porcelain girl, gets hit by someone’s car, shatters, and needs help.

Revision: T20 was never a kind person, so acting like a regular person was more fitting.

Significance: This version foreshadows the change in T20’s personality.

Episode Three (Case: Carnival-Jester/Case: Mascot): Piper and the gang, while at an amusement park, encounter a crazy jester woman who was sent by CHAOS, but despises Piper for different reasons/Piper notices kids are turning into puppets after encountering the park’s mascot, Manny the Bug.

Significance: The first of the backstory drops comes from Satire the Jester.

Episode 4 (Case: Jones/Case: T20’s-Story): Piper discovers a journal belonging to Jones, the last member of the secret organization, and is inspired to start his own/Piper talks to T20 after finding him upset, and listening to his story about how he became a villain.

Significance: This is where the series takes a shift from the wackiness of the first few episodes.

Episode 5 (Case:-Shut/Case: Musical-Retelling): After Piper discovers something about him, T20 tries to shoot him with one of his inventions, but it backfires/Piper wakes up one day and sees everyone is singing, which soon pushes him to solve the problem.

Significance: It introduces T20’s habit of falling in love with tough women. Trixie is, however, older than him, so it isn’t really right. Maybe I could hint at his crush on Sandra instead? I'd have to change the ending, though.

Also, this is the last time the “Case: Episode/Episode” format is used.

Episode 6 (The Chaotic T20, Trixie, and Bea Episode): In the special, Piper finds an old photograph of someone who looks like T20. T20, upset that he found this, works on a device to separate him from his past, on the day Trixie’s best friend Bea plans to visit. To try and cheer T20 up, she disguises herself as Bea but finds there are multiple T20s in his room. Bea comes over to find Trixie dressed as her...chaos ensues.

Significance: Not only does it secretly reveal a new character, but it’s also the episode T20 realizes something is off about being a villain. Bonus, it’s the last time Trixie disguises.

Episode Seven (The Musical?): Piper James’ unfinished comic as a musical. Self explanatory.

Significance: I’m unsure about this one, as it was never finished. But it did point out inconsistencies in the original story. I don’t think it’s important to the main story, though.

Episode Eight (Villainz): Piper decides to join T20 and Trixie’s antics, so Sandra and Doug look for someone to fill his place. While Piper, T20, and Trixie make chaos (literally), the others meet Harold, who seems to know everything about everything...including CHAOS.

Significance: Seemingly starts T20’s development.

Revision: T20’s dad never went “missing”. He wasn’t even a part of it. Instead, having Harold know about CHAOS (and T20’s mom) is more fitting.

Episode 9 (Therapist): Piper tries to seek therapy from the old T20...he is very not helpful.

Significance: Foreshadows Peter’s hatred of T20?

Episode 10 (Little Scouts)*: Piper James and co go to a campsite, where a southern girl (Killer Whale) and some nerd (Sharkfin) were bored to kidnap them (for money).

Significance: None. This episode is...not that important. It is fun though.

Revision: T20’s mom is more likely to kidnap her son than actually kill him.

Episode 11 (Lovey-Dovers)*: A Cupid that has been hired tries to destroy “evidence” that T20 is finding about himself. Piper tries to intervene, but instead gets hit by a love arrow. In fact, everyone has been hit by one...besides Sandra. So she, Piper, and T20 must find a way to get the evidence back, and turn everyone back.

Revision: Similar to in episode five, T20 having a crush on Trixie is not good. It would, however, it’d be funny if T20 fell in love with his hero adversary Sandra. And Trixie’s now out of town, I guess.

Significance: More information about T20 is learned. Also, the Chaos Crystal is some Chaos BS.

Episode 12 (Mairy Jaine (Mary Jane))*: After being hired by You-Know-Who, Mary attempts to bring Piper and co down, but recognizes T20 and joins them instead. She reveals that she and T20 were old friends, but drifted apart. She also reveals she now has a villainous side to her too, Mairy. But is this really true?

Revision: The original episode was incredibly painful to dissect, so I made it more fitting for the both of them. Also, I'm thinking maybe Mairy simply exists as a villain persona of Mary as to try and impress T20? It makes sense.

Significance: Marissa’s first appearance. And, T20’s name is actually Tyler!

Episode 13 (Video Gamer (I forgot the name)*): You-Know-Who hires a video game developer named Kai to trap Piper and co in a video game, but the game is surprisingly horrific for T20...

Revision: In this version, the video game better resembles what happened to T20. Also, Ray is Kai’s younger brother, and is actually the one to save Piper and friends.

Significance: Secretly shows what happened to Tyler for the first time.

Episode 14 (In-Depth Look (MAJOR REVISION)): The gang works with Marissa to study more about what happened to Tyler (T20), but T20 gets kidnapped in the midst of it. So Piper and friends decide to take a nice walk in the park, when they realize that something about the city is starting to feel...off.

Revision: The Chaos Crystal doesn’t make much sense in the modern series, so it’s been dropped entirely. Also, Tyler getting kidnapped better transitions into the finale.

Significance: Last episode before the finale!

Episode 15 (Season One Finale): In the season one finale, T20’s mom (who had been the Frenchman this whole time?!?!) is making sure he has luxury (as a villain), explaining the changes in the city, when T20 just wants a regular life. Piper James takes the initiative to save him.

Significance: The finale. Also, T20 has a really epic monologue and pushes his mother off a [short] cliff.

This marks the first change in Tyler’s personality.

Piper James gets a little bit of development too?

That's all for part 1! I will link part 2 here when I finish it... let me know what you think so far!!! :)

Edit: PART 2!!!

Edit: tagging @papercutzo and @frayedcircus since they may possibly be interested! :)

[disregardcanon]

semi-realistic thoughts about where the yellowjackets and co might be in 2021 if the plane HAD crashed but they got rescued before laura lee died because misty never found the black box

tai- in exactly the same place, but with better coping mechanisms and a stable and realistic relationship with simone. sammy still has some issues because tai represses stuff and is still a politician who’s keeping secrets about the wilderness, but tai actually does let him get the therapy he needs. she’s still close to shauna and akilah, and she wishes that she could be close with van, but things are weird there. she always knew van wanted different things out of life than she did, but it was a lot harder to break things off after they lived through a plane crash and a few months in the wilderness together.

van- jack of all trades, master of none. she’s been a summer camp counselor all over the country, done bit parts in lots of movies, was on jeopardy once, managed a spirit halloween, got involved in cutco knives before she realized it was an mlm, worked at an amusement park, taught english to kids in different countries (never with the US military though because that sucks), worked at a ski resort. she’s had a lot of girlfriends that never really stuck, but she’s glad for all of them. she still talks to quite a few of the yellowjackets, but it’s... hard. when she talks to tai. taissa the accomplished lawyer and now state senator thinks that she should settle down, and that’s a little hard to hear from the high school girlfriend who dropped van when she went off to college.

coach ben- after his experience in the wilderness with the girls and losing his leg, there is absolutely NO way he’s going back to teaching. he tries to make things right with paul and after some work, he ends up moving in with paul in the city. paul’s a writer already, so ben gives it a try and does some comedy columns and sports columns.

nat- had a couple of years right after high school where she was drifting and on just about every drug in the book until she accidentally runs into ben and paul at a party and ben’s like oh my god NATALIE!??! and makes her sleep on their couch for a while. eventually she ends up making weird art and coaching a kids’ soccer team. she has some short term romantic relationships with both men and women but none of them ever really stick.

misty and crystal- coach very gently told her when they were in the hospital that he was gay and not interested. and she was like “oh you figured it out because i was so wonderful and you weren’t attracted to me, so you knew you couldn’t like girls?” and he sighed and went. yes misty. that’s how. and she put a hand on his shoulder and said “how brave. how inspiring” and then misty started telling this story to any teammate who would listen. crystal was the only one who didn’t roll her eyes and she was like “omg, a gay teacher? like in the children’s hour????” and then they become best friends going into the next year of school. misty doesn’t HAVE a secret that’s big enough to break them up so they just. stay together.

misty stays on as the equipment manager but mainly just to cheer on her bestie and they join theater together. they don’t do very well but they LOVE it, and they decide to go to the same college to be roommates. crystal becomes a quirky high school theater teacher and misty still becomes a concerning RN who dates and intimidates weird little guys, but they live together and are like, what, gay? *pft* no, we’re besties! and they are, but god are they weird about it

laura lee and lottie- lottie’s parents made her go to the same ivy that her dad went to, and she really hates it, even though she does her best and gets her degree. (i’m thinking some kind of counseling/leadership) laura lee goes to a bible college that skews too conservative for her and she hates it too, so much that she decides to drop out until she can figure out where she DOES want to go. a lot of soulsearching and mishaps later, and lottie is taking on a youth minister position at a nondenominational hippie dippie queer loving church and inviting laura lee to check it out, and laura lee falls in LOVE WITH IT and then goes straight into the seminary she can find that best lines up with her own values. they become a power couple and get married in 2004 as soon as it’s legal. they end up with a congregation that isn’t very large but is dedicated and does a lot of good in their area.

travis and javi- coach martinez still died, so things are hard, but not nearly as hard as in canon. they work through his death as best as they can with their mom, and travis stays at home the next year to go to community college before leaving home. javi makes him join a dungeons and dragons campaign and it actually helps him a lot with the Big Feelings Time. travis goes into something that his dad thought was nerdy and not masculine enough but that he likes and is good at, and javi becomes an artist. he and shauna collaborate sometimes on projects <3. also travis and jackie become weird friends at community college

mari- she’s an mlm girlie but one that is Proud! Of! It! she’s got a big enough downline that she actually supports herself this way, even though it.... still sucks and is soulsucking. but it lets her be a little bitchy, do tasks, and be kind of in charge and kind of not in charge and mari DOES like that.

melissa and gen- let them play soccer together in college because they were on the fabled yellowjackets team that never got to go to nationals as well as the one that WON! let melissa get butcher. let gen have a sexuality crisis as she gets jealous about girls falling all over her best friend. let them be soccer lesbians who eventually move to denver and buy a subaru

akilah- they find out that shauna’s pregnant before they’re rescued and right before laura lee’s able to make her incredible journey. akilah the girl scout finds herself worrying about what might have happened if they had to deliver a baby out there, even though they DIDN’T. then she does a lot of research into the subject on top of studying for her SAT and finds out about maternal mortality rates in the united states, especially among black women like her and her sister. she decides to become an OBGYN to try to fight the problem, and despite the hardships, she makes it happen. she also gets to upset her sister with terrible pregnancy fun facts, which is what siblings are for

jackie- has a blowout fight with shauna about the jeff thing after they get back, straining her relationships with every member of the team. she still tries at college, but she rushes and doesn’t get a bid for a single sorority (she’s going through a crisis where she’s realized she’s a lesbian and doesn’t know what to do with that and also. is very depressed and angry), her potluck roommate doesn’t like her, and her classes are so hard now without shauna to help. she doesn’t know how to ask for help and things spiral for the two semesters it takes for her to get kicked out of college. she’s home the summer afterward, with her parents desperately trying to get her to figure out a different college or go out with jeff again (we understand what he did, but you aren’t exactly... rolling in prospects right now) and she’s just going crazy in her room.

shauna and jackie- shauna gets an abortion and does go to brown! she’s really upset with where things ended with jackie, but she’s still close to tai and some of the other girls and she’s exploring her bisexuality at college, so she’s doing okay javi sends her drawings sometimes, and that’s nice. when she comes home over her first summer and sees jackie absolutely rotting... she feels awful enough to try to mend the bridge. it doesn’t totally work, but by the end of the season they’re on speaking terms again, and over the next few holiday breaks they become tentative friends again, then good friends, then homoerotic girls who are dancing around each other.

jackie tries out the community college thing and tries hanging out with jeff again, who’s working at his parents’ furniture store. her parents are convinced they’re dating and jeff kind of is too and jackie... tries to see if she can fix herself. she forces herself to let it be dating and then they have sex and it feels wrong and weird and bad... but she does it. and jeff’s magical sperm does its thing.

timeline-wise the pregnancy becomes clear about 3 months before shauna’s graduation from brown/jackie’s graduation from the community college. (she and travis are weird friends there. no i’m not elaborating but it happened) and her parents are freaking out and trying to get her and jeff to get married right now immediately to save face, and jackie just. cries. and calls shauna. and cries some more. and they have a heart to heart and confess some feelings and decide that they’ll try dating and kinda. raise the baby together. (it’s callie yay!)

jackie isn’t going to be able to move in with shauna until after she finishes this semester and gets a bigger place, and her parents are livid that she refused jeff’s offer and is still keeping the baby! (they don’t even know she’s a lesbian yet) so she has to move in temporarily with the martinezes javi shows her lots of art pieces and is like “would shauna like this?” and the answer is always yes.

eventually, shauna becomes an editor for the local paper and a fiction writer. jackie stays home with bby callie for a bit and then cycles between different odd jobs for a while as she tries to find a good fit. she eventually ends up as middle management at a small company where she does a whole lot of team-building exercises that everyone pretends to hate until she pulls out the prizes

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/5/2024

really fucking around in Breath of the Wild and not defeating Ganon, even though i think i am fairly well prepared, which is probably indicative of something or a metaphor for some larger issue. oh well! guess we'll never know!

listening

Rock the Jungle by The Daniel Pemberton TV Orchestra, off an album of music from and inspired by LittleBigPlanet, a video game i have never played. Daniel Pemberton is a remarkably prolific british composer who mostly does film these days but also does a lot of BBC stuff.

this is the kind of scrubby pad to the brain electronica i need sometimes. i think these are heavily filtered and processed kookaburra sounds? at about the minute fifteen mark it adds a rolling, rollicking bassline that is, as im sure we all know by now, fucking catnip to me. at about 2:20 it adds alarm blares that fade in and out of a sort of disco-y organ? it uses its five minute runtime pretty well imo. i think this was off the spotify discover weekly.

-

reading

T Kingfisher's The Clockwork Boys, recced by @rae-being-naughty lo these many months ago, and my library hold finally came in. the goodreads blurb is a remarkably accurate sales pitch so let's yoink that

A paladin, an assassin, a forger, and a scholar ride out of town. It’s not the start of a joke, but rather an espionage mission with deadly serious stakes. T. Kingfisher’s new novel begins the tale of a murderous band of criminals (and a scholar), thrown together in an attempt to unravel the secret of the Clockwork Boys, mechanical soldiers from a neighboring kingdom that promise ruin to the Dowager’s city. If they succeed, rewards and pardons await, but that requires a long journey through enemy territory, directly into the capital. It also requires them to refrain from killing each other along the way! At turns darkly comic and touching, Clockwork Boys puts together a broken group of people trying to make the most of the rest of their lives as they drive forward on their suicide mission.

i had a lot of fun with this! very pratchett-esque in its imperial critique through bureaucratic loopholes thereof, which is catnip to me, but i do think Kingfisher is simply better at writing women. the forger is an only child and it fucking shows.

i think if it were 5% more devoted to Humorous Bits and didn't have some nice character work between the forging accountant and the big sad blond paladin man, i would have gotten frustrated with it. i think it is simply more of a comedy than any of its blurbs suggest, and it can be difficult to ride that line between comedy and character growth through desperate acts without getting a little bit of whiplash. this is me being very depressed and a bit nitpicky though. the line "Time passed, like a kidney stone" is going to stick in my brain for a while. i already have the sequel on hold

-

watching

if you do nothing else today could you please watch this car chase for me? ok thanks

Gunsmith Cats is a three-episode OVA that's a fancam of the american city of chicago and the cool girls that live and shoot and drive there, but let's just yank the MyAnimeList description

In the dangerous suburbs of Chicago, skilled bounty hunters Irene "Rally" Vincent and "Minnie" May Hopkins run Gunsmith Cats, a firearms store of questionable legality. One day, Bill Collins, an agent for the Chicago branch of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, blackmails Rally and May into working with him on a case. The stakes are high, but Rally’s gunmanship and May’s knowledge of explosives are unmatched. As Rally and May unravel the secrets of the case, the two will need to use guns and grenades while being faster, stronger, and better than everyone else in order to stay alive.

all three episodes are free (in really nice quality) on youtube. i pitched this to wendy as "rally is jigen lupinthethird's little sister" and her driving skills and marksmanship... i'm not sure who would win between them but i wouldn't like to live on the difference.

animators, historically, hate animating guns and cars, except for the masochistic ones who use it to flex. there are at least three shots in each episode where i want to stand up and hold my cat above my head and hoot like a fuckin tusken raider. in the first episode, there's a raid on a smuggling warehouse (you know, a warehouse) where the BATF agent and Rally throw each other their guns and have a really cool FALLING OFF A CATWALK back to back shootout. it's hard to describe. watch the episode. i wish there were more than three episodes.

this is an OVA that, aside from the requisite panty shot and WHOOPS my whole shirt tore (one of each per episode per girl) is fairly normal about women? rally and minnie are...roommates. that bicker and eat pizza. they have a cool network of other slightly shady women they interact with a lot, and the big bad for most of the episodes is also a woman. this isn't like a bastion of feminism or anything it's just neat. sort of middling on the ass portion of the Weeb Ass Shit scale. low on the weeb and shit parts too. again this is a fancam of chicago with cool girls

i watched this bc i was trying to use up kanopy credits and came across the precursor to this, Riding Bean, which i did not love for several reasons (the big one being the legitimately pedophilic lesbian relationship) but the creator took the concept of Rally out of that forty minute...experiment? and that led me to Gunsmith Cats. thank u ppl who put free anime on youtube

-

playing

still futzing about in breath of the wild. fucking around with sidequests and a sudden need to at least discover all the shrines.

for example, i did all the labyrinth shrines. underneath the akkala labyrinth is the scariest room in the world, bc six of those fuckers are alive and they will all target you the instant you open that chest.

cannot be bothered with the eventide island shrine yet (the roguelike) bc it frustrates the hell out of me. did the thyplo forest one, which was extremely annoying bc it dimmed my whole TV screen (including the UI) instead of just dimming the game itself. im sure someone thought that would be such a cool detail but instead i found it extremely annoying and vey difficult to swap weapons or start campfires.

and then i trundled through a list of shrine quests, bc i apparently had TWELVE missing?? three were korok trials, one was eventide (apparently it only shows up as a quest if you are on the island or have finished it, bc if u die on the island it kicks you back to a pre-island save lmao) so for the others: three i just had to talk to people to officially start and then immediately complete the quest. remember when i was anxious about softlocking myself out of the jungle dragon shrine quest bc i went right there instead of talking to Kass? never fear, nintendo's got my back

"kay how did you possibly miss reading the giant stone tablet to start this quest--" i am not a clever woman. i go "oh i know what to do!!!" when i see the Orb and hare off without looking around further.

A Brother's Roast i missed bc i forgot to talk to everyone in Goron City after defeating rudania, didn't run across Test of Will (the Goron challenge in the Gerudo highlands) bc i forgot to look off that side of the tower and was very focused on gliding into the labyrinth at the right spot, and didn't run across Guardian Slideshow on the far south beaches bc i hadn't explored there yet.

A Stolen Heirloom was deeply annoying. i had four out of five quests complete to unlock this, but there is an unmarked side quest where you have to go into this lady's house at night to figure out she wants fireflies. maybe she has some ambient daytime barks about this? i have never heard them. this was a little obtuse. also i don't love the stealth in this game. this game's stealth really works when you are well out of detection range bc u have a sniper bow, and i find it works less well for me when i have to follow a target. no i haven't finished the korok stealth trial either.

non-shrine nonsense:

ive been using Stasis as a sort of VATS equivalent. in fallout, i like to hit VATS every once in a while just to see who's out there. how many radroaches are nearby. this also highlights most interactable things which i think is nice of the game

gerudo town stuff: i missed this sand seal racing challenge by SO little the first time which annoyed me so much, it took me six more tries to beat the damn thing. i am very charmed that they actually put in a garden for the kid who was trying to grow a garden!

some beach vegetation mysteries: im really baffled by this singular hearty radish growing in full sun in what is essentially sand with a dusting of palm bark. all the other hearty radishes i have seen are in deep forests with partial sun and lots of leaf litter. what the hell is this then. plus a neat little unique sea wrack? korok circle instead of the usual lilypads.

i didn't know this game knew how to do rainbows at all, let alone double ones!

i will leave you with my many attempts to make stamina potions.

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making

making things requires both the perfect levels of anxiety (too little anxiety and im out doing normal people things, too much anxiety and i shut down, a medium level means im frantically making things to distract myself. we are at the high end of medium) and some level of income bc i inevitably need one or two things to finish projects. eg we are at the level of anxiety where i am only able to do simple things like repainting a whole bunch of big frames for my maps (procured when i had money) but i need more matboard. so they are sitting, 90% finished, in my office closet.

garden update: more than half my bush beans came up with no leaves and promptly died, which could be due to any number of things but im choosing to believe it's bc my bestie's five year old planted them a little too deeply. so it goes. all the sweet peas are fine, all my normal peas and most of my regular climbing beans came up. a little annoyed bc only a third of my nasturtiums came up even after soaking them for 24h as recommended. the shit i Bought (tomatoes, marigolds, mint, rosemary) is doing fine. the spinach and dill i planted are doing fine too, although the spinach also had about a 50% germination rate. this does mean i don't need to thin them but. Hm. yanno?

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 3 / SCI-FI)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

Common Themes in the Media Listed:

-Women and girls fighting against oppressive regimes

-Unholy discoveries about the secrets of the universe

-Protagonists fighting an enemy they don't understand

-Dystopias, sickness and disaster literally everywhere

-Survivalism, action and (occasionally) comedy

-Father/daughter and older daughter/younger kid protective relationships

-How does humanity die--aliens, robots, zombies or hubris?

WHAT I HAVEN'T WATCHED:

Silo (although my sister highly recommends it)

Vesper

Invasion

Fallout

Arrival

Prometheus

Aliens

Alita: Battle Angel

The Girl With All the Gifts

The Last of Us

I Am Mother

Colossal

Rebel Moon

What Happened to Monday

Ashoka

Prey

Moonhaven

Bumblebee

The 100

Ghost in the Shell

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED:

Foundation (10/10) (I cannot sing its praises enough)

Annihilation (8.5/10)

The Hunger Games (10/10)

Rogue One (7/10)

PERSONAL NOTES

Colossal is actually a sci-fi comedy, but ultimately a comedy first. So it's tonally different from most of these.

While I found Mortal Engines and The 5th Wave entertaining, I can also say that they are objectively not that good. You can only enjoy Mortal Engines if you enjoy spectacle, don't mind cliches, and don't know anything about physics (or care).

I don't remember much of The Rise of Skywalker because by the time I was watching it, I had only watched Star Wars 3 out of the whole series so I was pretty lost. But I remember enjoying the fight scenes.

Please watch Foundation! Like, if you claim to love sci-fi you have to do it. Two of the three main characters are women, Gaal Dornick and Salvor Hardin. Gaal is a mathematical genius and Salvor is just . . . chef's KISS! Also, both are women of color! Like! If you wish there was some kind of grand-scale sci-fi like Dune with a female lead, Foundation is it! It's based on the books by Isaac Asimov (who was a rancid misogynist), and it is unfaithful to his work in the best ways! (Gaal and Salvor were not women in the books.) The only "issue" is it focuses more on American type-heroism rather than the sociological focus of the book (the point of the books was literally about how individualism does about fuckall in determining the future and it's easier to predict human behaviour on a large scale but much harder the smaller your data size). But it still makes for fantastic storytelling.

Alita: Battle Angel may be said to have the born-sexy-yesterday trope, but I'm not sure she's overtly sexualized in the movie. I looked at her designs and they look tasteful. Might be some stories issues.

If you haven't watched The Hunger Games, idk what to tell you except you should be doing that right now. If you claim to like movies in general. It's so good, I cannot begin to break down precisely why it's so good. Suzanne Collins is a genius!

[avidbeader]

I was allowed the chance to read a friend's ARC of her debut novel and finished it today. Here's my review and I heartily recommend it for those who like BL and/or pining idiots:

Cross the Line by Lucky Hart My rating: 5 of 5 stars (ARC Review) My favorite things to read tend to run to mystery, action, and suspense, whether in a modern, historical, or fantasy setting. Romance for the sake of romance is not my first choice in picking up a book. But the things my favorite fiction has across genres tend to come down to interesting and compelling characters. "Crossing the Line" has these characters in spades. They leap off the page, vibrant and alive, with a richness of details in their appearances and personalities that will have one nodding, yes, I feel like that or yes, I know someone like that. Having these characters paired with dialogue that flows naturally from one character to the other means that scenes are engaging and keep you in the story. There were plenty of times in the past week where I stayed up past my recommended bedtime to finish just one or two more chapters, or was thinking about where the story might go when I couldn't be reading. Theo and Alec, the main characters, are nicely rounded. They both have things they excel at. They have core personalities that don't waver much as the plot progresses. They have challenges and traumas, but these things neither define the characters nor act as maguffins, only appearing in order to move the plot or cause a conflict. And they are surrounded by other interesting characters in Alec's brothers and friends that enhance the story rather than distract. One of my two wants for this book is to have more women appear on the page rather than just talked about. I can see the attraction of writing the Kings as a boisterous family with four sons and they are all fun characters, but we only get a few glimpses of Mom and mentions of a beloved but deceased grandmother. Yes, Alec being on an NCAA soccer team means being surrounded by other guys, but to not have even one girl among the student population that became a friend feels unlikely. I hope future installments of the series will include a few women with the same kind of loving depth that is shown for the characters here. The plot hinges on feelings, attraction and desire crashing up against friendship and loyalty, and it's delightfully messy just like real life can be. The circumstances in which Alec and Theo keep meeting and then avoiding include decisions, both good and bad, coming from their personality traits and outside circumstances like horrible timing or being in the wrong place. It produces a good balance of emotional exploration with the occasional sitcom-level comedy bit that had me groaning of course that happened. As things move into dangerous waters for our heroes, they take responsibility for one another because they care about each other that much. Even if neither of them has quite figured it out yet, because they are complete pining idiots. My second want for this book, because the characters are so lively, was to have a little more in the denouement department. To read the conversations between a few different characters and the process of some decisions made instead of having them summarized in the epilogue. But that's a testament to how much the characters and story drew me in that I wanted more of them. I finished this book feeling satisfied and entertained. I will read it again. I want to read the next book in the author's planned series. I would recommend it to anyone who likes modern-day romances where you want to reach into the screen and knock the love interests' heads together so they figure it all out or stop keeping their feelings secret. If you're uncertain about smut, there's only three sequences where it's featured and even then the characters are mostly busy talking or feeling things. Take a chance on this one and see if it crosses the line into one of your favorites.

[nonclassyparty]

[TEASER] Starring Role - ACT XI (C.S; S.MG)

title; tell me your secrets and ask me your questions, oh, let's go back to the start, running in circles, coming up tails, heads on a science apart

summary:

We’ve all read about the infamous player who falls in love with the good girl that manages to make him change his ways…but what happens to the other girl? The pretty, popular one that has warmed his bed before the good girl came along and took him away.

Well, no one cares about her. After all, she’s just a side character.

It almost feels like a joke to play a part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart.

pairing: choi san x reader, song mingi x reader

act x / masterlist / act xi (final)

It's hard not to stare.

The conversation that goes around the table during the appetizers is vapid, the two businessmen are taking subtle jabs at each other's expenses, their bored wives are not so subtly ogling the two waiters that are assigned to your table and the younger men sitting at your table (him included). Shallow conversations served with the only purpose of showing off who has more of what and so on and so on.

Two years ago, this was your territory. The exaggerated delight when speaking about vacations you've been to, talking up your family like you don't all hate each other one way or another and pretending you actually enjoy the presence of your company. Now, you feel awfully out of place.

The times when you were at the top of the food chain are long gone because at this table right here; you are the lowest rank. The weakest player. The artist invited for their amusement because they don't take you seriously, not really. 

You learn pretty quickly into the night that you were never brought here from your boss' good grace to help you sell your art, it's for her to be able to show off the new addition to her company even if it is temporary (after this, you know it will be). Look at this new shiny, pretty little thing I have everyone. Isn't she just the cutest?

That's why it's hard not to stare.

Choi San sits opposite of you, just a couple of seats down and looks like he's completely in his element and it's mindboggling because you don't think you've ever seen him like this.

You always found him charming, good looks paired with pretty words and a smooth voice but here...it's a completely different game. The other two younger guys whose names you didn't bother to remember, seem to wait for his every word with a bated breath, the men laugh at his jokes and the women swoon at the charming grin. He is charismatic and everybody seems to be under his spell. Even you find yourself pressing your lips together to stop from smiling at an occasional quip that comes from him.

It's infuriating.

You're the outsider despite growing up in these people's circles and running around fancy restaurants since you were a toddler but Choi San...well, he fit right in.

You don't miss the way he smiles that godforsaken smile at the wife of one of the younger businessmen here. She's gorgeous and on the younger side which isn't surprising since her husband seems barely forty. She seems to be in her mid-30s though and tries to hide her flustered smile by taking a sip of the red wine in front of her.

A breathless chuckle escapes you as your eyes fall from the obvious (and fucking shameless) flirting done by both of them all while her husband is sitting right next to her but is too busy to notice because he's currently in a dick measuring contest with the others.

All that time that San spent making jabs at your wealth and the rich people you were surrounded with, only for him to land in the middle of that same table that he judged you for not even two years later.

A fucking comedy is what this is.

"I need some fresh air." You mumble to particularly no-one but one of the younger guys that seem to have come here with San and has also been laying it on pretty thick to you the entire night, is the only one to notice. When he offers to go with you, you're quick to decline.

The terrace of the restaurant is gorgeous and you feel yourself sigh once you're presented with the wide view of the city in front of you and the cool evening air enveloping you. You figure you still have some time before the main course and it's almost tempting to just spend it all here.

Your heart can't stop rattling in your chest despite it being almost an hour and a half since the short introduction between you and San and you grip the banister tightly with your hands as you try to keep your thoughts in check.

It's not even a big deal that he's here. The introduction was the only exchange between the two of you and so far, the night has been going well. It will be a bust business wise but at least you will get a free fancy meal out of it.

And San...he was acting normal. Whatever the new normal was for him. So yeah, it's not even a big deal that he's here.

"So we have to introduce ourselves to each other?" A voice quietly says and you freeze at the sound of footsteps until he's standing by your side and his elbow is brushing yours. "Is that what we are now, Y/N? Strangers?"

He's here. And it's a big fucking deal.

You're gripping the banister so tightly that your knuckles turn white but with the utmost grace, you utter; "I don't see what else we could be."

"That's..." He starts before giving you a nod, "Fair."

He pulls something from the pocket of his slacks and you don't give into the curiosity to check what it is until he leans over to you.

An opened pack of cigarettes is presented to you and you glance at it for a second in contemplation before sighing and reluctantly pulling one out before placing it between your lips. After the night you've had, might as well.

He's quick to offer you a light and you take a drag in and exhale as you turn to mirror his position so your back is leaning on the banister and you're observing the people inside the restaurant rather the view.

San takes a cigarette out for himself, lighting it up in similar fashion as he did for you and takes a drag, exhaling with a soft sigh.

"How have you been?"

You scoff out a short, barely there laugh, "What do you want?"

San's head turns to observe you and you will yourself to just keep staring forward.

"Nothing." He responds quietly and you roll your eyes. "I don't want anything. I'm just...just trying to make conversation."

A silence engulfs you as you both take a couple of drags from the cigarettes and watch it get turned into ashes. You watch your figures in the glass in front of you and can notice him glancing at you one too many times.

"Listen, I'm-"

"I don't want your sorry's." You're quick to interrupt him but he's quick to reply back.

"I wasn't gonna say I'm sorry." Your head whips to him for the first time, brows furrowed in insult. He sighs, eyes falling shut for a moment before the flutter open again and meet yours, "Well, okay, you got me there. There is something I was going to say I'm sorry for."

Your frown doesn't move but you don't say anything otherwise so he takes it as a chance to continue. "You told me something in confidence and I-..."

"San." You warn him and uttering his name out loud causes a shiver to run up your spine.

"No. And I couldn't keep my mouth shut because I'm an idiot that let my frustrations get the best of me. And I'm sorry, Y/N, it was a shitty thing to do and you didn't deserve that." He takes a deep breath, "I never promised you much, we both knew what it was between us from the start but I did promise to keep your secrets safe and I failed at that. I know an apology might not mean shit now and I'm not saying it because I expect forgiveness but because you deserve an apology. I'm really sorry."

You stare up at him, chest heaving up and down as you watch him. He's right, you're not going to forgive him...so what now? What do you do and what do you say?

"Kind of weird to apologize here of all places." You comment stoically.

"Don't know when I'll see you again." San says back in almost a whisper.

Almost angrily, at yourself and at him, you take another drag from the cigarette before your eyes fall back on your table inside the restaurant. The woman San was subtly flirting with is laughing with her husband now.

You respond back in the only way you know how when it comes to talking to San. Women.

"You've moved on from unsuspecting college girls to older women now?" You ask, flicking your cigarette and taking another drag.

At the look of confusion he gives you, you nudge your head to the direction of the table you both have shared for the majority of the night. He follows your gaze and the realization sets in.

"Oh," He chuckles, one dimple showing as he glances at you. "She's cute."

"She's also married." You grit out quietly, quickly looking around to make sure no-one else hears.

San's brows furrow and his lips are pressed to stop himself from smiling as he leans over to you as if to let you in on a little secret, "Not happily married."

You scoff, rolling your eyes dramatically as you look away from him. He chuckles again.

"It's them who make the first move, never me." San clarifies, smile dimming, "I may be a lot of things but not a homewrecker."

"That is still being a homewrecker, San."

"That home has been wrecked a long time ago, princess."

You shake your head, keeping your judgement to yourself but the curiosity is still there.

What has Choi San been up to these past two years? While you were in Paris shutting yourself off from anyone and everything to focus on your art, what was he doing?

"Them who make the first move?" You repeat in disbelief, turning to him again and you place your done cigarette in the ashtray before crossing your arms and now the judgement is very obvious, "Don't tell me you're one of those guys who's chasing after older women now."

San presses his lips together.

"Seriously? You are such a fuckin’ cliché, couldn’t you find some co-workers to sleep with?"

His brow quirks up in thought, "Hm, funnily enough I don't think I've ever slept with a co-worker." You shake your head at him again, having no idea how he just says that so...shamelessly and are about to open your mouth to scold him but he continues deep in thought, "Does a boss' wife count as a co-worker?"

Your jaw drops at the genuine question and you have to turn your head to the side just so he won't notice the fact that you're holding back laughter, still a snort escapes you. "Jesus."

At that, San lets out a short, husky laugh as well, seemingly unbothered as he takes another drag from his cigarette.

Same old San.

There is still so much left unsaid between the two of you. So much pain and anger, pure rage, so much sadness that is kept bottled away and so many memories repressed but in that moment...well, you are fucking nosy! Sue you!

"You slept with your boss' wife?!" You whisper yell at him with wide eyes, horrified yet equally amused and if that makes you a horrible person then so be it.

"She-" He tries to explain but you're already shaking your head in judgement, "No, hey, listen listen. She came onto me-"

"And you just couldn't resist, could you?"

His brows furrow in defense, "Hey, my boss is a dick."

You both fall into a silence after that, a summer breeze coasting over and you watch the guy who's been flirting with you the entire night stand up and step away from the table.

"You know that guy?" You ask San, nodding towards the tall figure walking away.

"Jaehyun?" He asks confusedly and at your nod, "We work together. Why?"

"Can you tell him to lay off? He keeps mentioning drinks at some bar after this and I'm not interested."

San frowns, jaw clenching, "He made you uncomfortable?"

You snort, "Please, he's harmless but I'm just not interested."

"Okay, I'll let him know." He nods before turning around, hands finally free of the cigarette and placed on the banister. He glances at you again after a moment of silence. "So...are you seeing...anyone?"

You tense a little at that. "Yeah."

His gaze is glued to the side of your face.

"Good." San nods, "That's good."

You shrug, not really wanting to talk about it. Not because it's San but because...you just don't want to think about your relationship with Mingi right now despite it being at the forefront of your mind at all times.

Noticing the waiters start walking to your tables with trays of food, you straighten out as well. "Looks like the food is here."

San looks over his shoulder with raised eyebrows and reluctantly straightens out his posture, as if he's not ready to go back inside. Hm. It's seems like San wasn't exactly in his element as you thought back there, just a really good actor.

You're the first to move towards the glass door but he's quick to stop you.

"Uh," A hand wraps around your elbow and you turn to him in confusion, freeing yourself from his gentle hold. San clears his throat before handing you a small white card. "Here. Have it...for, I don't know...Just in case."

You stare at the business card, a fancy name of a firm that you'd probably know if you were in his field, printed at the top with San's contact info below. You don’t know what it means, him giving you the card, so you accept it at a surface level for what it is.

With a nod, you simply take the card and tuck it into your handbag.

San motions for you to go first, holding the door open for you and you walk pass him without a word.

The moment you both shared outside, is seemingly broken the second you both join the same table again.

[kalena-henden]

These are all the shows I’ve watched in 2023 so far...

finished:

Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow - Fantastic finish to the story! Top 3 Kdrama.

Unlock My Boss - Chae Jong Hyeop shines as an aspiring actor who winds up taking the roll of a lifetime as the new CEO of a tech company when the soul of the previous CEO gets stuck inside his phone. Wild concept but fun found family, corporate intrigue, and a sweet little romance that brews between the young new CEO and his assistant.

The Forbidden Marriage - Top 5 Kdrama. If you want romance, comedy, angst, and alot of love, this is your show. I had so much fun and was rewatching while it was airing.

King2Hearts - An unlikely romance sparks between a South Korean prince and a top North Korean (female) soldier leads to potential reconciliation between their two countries that is threatened by a crazy arms dealer whose cover is a magician. This a James Bond inspired, enemies to lovers, family dynasty, international war games drama. The unhinged villain has his own lair and minions but the only one who can match his off kilter mind games is the wily prince, who is equal parts smart, asshole, and lovable. The North Korean soldier is one of the only one’s who can go toe-to-toe with the prince to eventually bring out the best in him as they fall in love that is literally ride or die. There’s also a secondary romance with the princess and a royal guard. I loved parts of this and liked the rest.

Poong the Joseon Psychiatrist (S1 & S2) - I’m a big Kim Min Jae fan. He shines as a medical doctor who experiences trauma that drives him to suicide. He is saved by a passing noble woman and a short while later he saves her from suicide due to her own trauma. Both of them end up working at a rural clinic with another exiled doctor to treat the locals physical needs but also begin a new practice to treat people’s mental health needs as they try to recover from their own traumas. I loved S1 but S2 brought on some annoying new antagonistic love interests. It is a happy ending though.

Lighter & Princess - A poor computer programing genius clashes with an ambitious rich girl in his college classes but sparks fly when they vie for control of the school’s entrepreneurial programming club leading to unlikely but hard won romance. This was excellent. 

Love to Hate You - A brash entertainment lawyer gets entangled with a romance actor who keeps his distance from women due to a trauma. A bit over the top, lots of role reversals but also fun. I liked it but didn’t love it. 

A Very Secret Service (Au Service De La France) - This a dry, witty French comedy about espionage and spies in the 1960s. Quirky and enjoyable with good character development. 

Taxi Driver (S1 & S2) - Lee Je Hoon leads this team of vigilantes who try to root out the evils of society for individuals in crisis that they were never able to do for themselves. The cases are mostly based on real life events. Violent, emotional, satisfying. I love this found family. 

Crash Course in Romance - A beloved, handsome math academy professor falls for the single mother of one of his students leading to an uproar amongst the parents. There’s a cute love triangle with the daughter and her classmates (I’m Team Geonhu) and a unsatisfying serial killer plotline. 

Gaus Electronics - This is an over the top, quirky, office comedy. It’s so crazy, especially at the beginning, that it’s almost too much but it’s smart and fun with an unlikely enemies to lovers romance that is quite sweet.

The Heavenly Idol - A high priest from another realm in the middle of a battle with the devil unexpectedly switches places with a failed idol grasping for his last chance at success. Kim Min Kyu is a great fish out of water but the story is a bit all over the place. I like his sweet healing romance with the band’s new manager though.

The King: Eternal Monarch - Parallel worlds, time travel, doppelgängers. Lee Min Ho, Kim Go Eun, Woo Do Hwan. There were some great concepts and good execution but it lacked the follow through to make it truly satisfying. 

Dr. Romantic (S1, S2, & S3) - Top 10 Kdrama. A small town hospital where a visionary maverick doctor, Master Kim, mentors 30-something year old doctors with his unorthodox methods while they fall in love with each other. It has a huge found Doldam Family with the hospital workers of all ages and their complex relationships with each other. I love this show!

Our Blooming Youth - Park Hyung Shik leads this Joeson-era mystery romance. It’s okay but it’s too slow and doesn’t develop the characters enough. It should have been 16 episodes, not 20. 

Call It Love - Introverted adults in their 30s try to overcome childhood trauma inflicted by their parents as they unwittingly fall in love while working together. This one is slower, complex and compelling. It’s one of my favorite dramas of 2023.

Please Don’t Date Him - I watched this solely for Lee Junyoung as a young firefigher who falls in love with a woman who works with A.I. in home appliances and stumbles upon a government spy program. It’s a light comedy if you’re looking for fluff. 

Find Me in Your Memory - An actress who’s lost her memory and an anchorman who can never forget fall in love. I mainly watched this because of the actors cameo as these character in Sh**ting Stars. It was okay.

Healer - I know this is a fan fave but I liked it, didn’t love it. 

Bora! Deborah (True to Love) - So much potential but a bit of a let down. I like both Yoo In Na and Yoon Hyun Min.

When the Weather is Fine - I was here for the small town romance with the local bookstore owner and the fun found family of their all ages book club. However, the last third of the story wallowed in the revealed family trauma too much and lost sight of everything else. 

Tale of the Nine-Tailed 1938 - When this was on point, it was compelling, funny and so much darn fun! There was bromance, romance, adventure, healing, friendship, and battles both personal and national. It had some slow times but overall Lee Dong Wook was clearing having the time of his life and Kim Bum stole the show as Lee Rang came into his own. 

Thirty But Seventeen - 10/10. Top 5 Kdrama. A teenage violinist gets into an accident and wakes up from her coma 13 year later to find the world vastly different. This was so much darn fun, great found family, cute romance, angst, and healing. Even when it was sad, I was so happy watching it. Shin Hye Sun, Yang Se Jong, and Ahn Hyo Seop are fantastic!

Something in the Rain -  I wanted so much to like noona romance with Son Ye Jin and Jung Hae In but man did it drag. Her mother is especially heinous. I completed it which was difficult.

See You in My 19th Life - I weirdly dislike-watched this in one weekend cause I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. It was okay. There were some interesting things about it with the relationships and past lives stuff but not for me.

King the Land - Lee Junho acted his heart out in this fluffy romcom and Im Yoona was a worthy partner in crime. I came to have a good time and they gave it to me. 

Heartbeat - Ok Taecyeon did a good job of carrying this unsteady vampire show that had some good moments but didn’t deliver on its premise. 

Legend of the Blue Sea - I really do like Lee Min Ho. He has a casual charisma that is undeniable. Jun Ji Hyun was an excellent literal fish out of water. While I liked the intertwining of the past and present lives, the story never quite hit the mark for me. Liked it, didn’t love it.

Never Have I Ever (S4) - This show never let me down. A satisfying finale season!

Meteor Garden (2018) - I needed more Dylan Wang after Love Between Fairy and Devil. This was an unexpected crazy fun ride. It was so outrageous at times. It inspired me to one day watch all the adaptations of Boys Over Flowers, as I’ve already seen 3 now. 

Hidden Love - A slow burn, age gap romance between a college girl and her older brother’s longtime friend. I really liked this but I wasn’t in love with it like everyone seems to be.

Nadiya’s Time to Eat - A fave Great British Bake Off winner’s cooking show. Inspiring.

Nadiya Bakes - And her baking show too.

Shadow and Bone (S2) - I think it improved on some things from the first season but they really crammed the second two books into one and some of Six of Crows too. Still a bit too fast-paced but I enjoyed it.

The Night Agent - An FBI agent gets an emergency call that starts a race to find a government mole and protect the informant. I binged this almost straight through. A good watch.

Queen Charlotte - This Bridgerton spinoff sheds light on royal power dynamics, mental illness, and social and racial divides.

LuLaRich - This is a compelling documentary on the rise and fall of Lularoe’s multi-level-marketing scheme. A must watch.

Sweet Magnolias (S3) - This is a comfort drama. I’m just here checking in to see how the little town is doing.

Star Trek: Picard (S3) - Showrunner Terry Matalas brings some of his 12 Monkeys (the tv series) magic to the final reuniting of the Next Generation cast while setting up a compelling potential Legacy spinoff.

My Lovely Liar - I enjoyed the romance between Hwang Minhyun and Kim So Hyun but the show itself is okay.

Destined With You - Magic, Curses, Past Lives, Symbolism, Spells, Fated Love. I thought it was going to be the next great fantasy romance but it chucked the fantasy halfway through and left a million unanswered questions at the end. At least we got a decent romance, even if the story lost its way. A big disappointment for me but I would recommend to see Rowoon acting his heart out in a cute romance.

The Uncanny Counter 2 - I was back to see the demon hunters fight for their humanity and loved ones again.

Celebrity - A solid takedown of influencer culture with mystery, intrigue, and a tiny bit of romance.

It’s Okay Not To Be Okay - I’ve been hearing about how good this drama is forever and it lived up to expectations. Great characters and development. I was surprised at how funny it was and enjoyed the romance too. Highly recommend.

True Beauty - This has been on my list for a long time and I needed more Cha Eun Woo while waiting for new episodes of A Good Day To Be A Dog. A great high school romcom with angst about a girl bullied for her acne getting a second chance at a new school who turns into a ‘goddess’ when she learns to do her own makeup. Love the romance, bromance and friendships! I love the second male lead as a character but never got second lead syndrome because I loved the main romance. I enjoyed the whole way through. 

Beckham - A docuseries about soccer (football to the rest of the world) star David Beckham that made you feel like you had front row seat to his past triumphs and struggles through the reflective lens of the present.

[raw-law]

favorite books? (AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

Light:

Dang, Anon, this is a hard question...

My favourite books change from time to time, so I guess I'll just answer with what I'm currently reading now/have read recently.

I'm a big fan of Murakami's work. I've read First Person Singular, Wind/Pinball, Men Without Women, and I'm currently on The Elephant Vanishes. Norwegian Wood sounds interesting, so I'm planning to read it next...so far, First Person Singular is probably my favourite.

(Also, did you know that he has a library named after him in Waseda University, where he was an alumni of? I saw it when I went to visit my cousin.)

I've also read the Secret History by Donna Tartt; it wasn't bad, in my opinion. Also Rouge by Mona Awad, which felt like a fever dream (in a good way). The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones was a rather intriguing horror novel as well; I rather enjoyed the creative concept of the elk entity in the book. (Oh, and if you like horror, check out Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix; I've only read the translated version, but the concept is a really cool thing to think about, too!)

Thanks for the question, I do love it when people ask me stuff about books.

L:

the only books i've read as of recent have been comics.. and i don't want to sound like a broken record, so i suppose i'll list those.

I Was Born To Work Retail by Pear哥 (who actually has a tumblr account, @peargor. i highly recommend checking out their works.) has been one of my favorite comics of all time. the comic serves as both a comedy of an ordinary girl working at a fast-food restaurant and a social commentary on the horrors of capitalism. there are so many stunning scenes that hit deep, and it's emphasized even more with the outstanding art. i even wrote a poem inspired by one of its scenes a year or so ago. it's really stunning.

two other comics i've been enjoying a lot are The Interpretations of Shadows by nyoomian (who also has a tumblr blog under the same name) and Urban Animal by Justin Jordan & John Amor. both lean a bit more into the "grim and gritty" side of comics. i'd explain what they're about, but i think it's much more interesting if you simply just read it for yourself.

and some other honorable mentions... : Our Walk Home by furanc0, the Scott Pilgrim series by Bryan Lee O'Malley, and Casual Blush by ILNeGeAr.

sorry i couldn't give you any real books, but i hope that can suffice..?

[eleni-cherie]

a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg - chapter 0.2

"so eager to be in a headlock again?"

"only if it's by you."

he thought he was done with the criminal life and ready for some peace and quiet. but his plans collapsed in the form of a strange girl who was in trouble.

© 2023 | eleni_cherie

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to lovers s2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

»»»

"So.. have you adjusted to the city life again?" Jimin asked, taking a sip from his cold drink. The fan blowing in the corner of the bar not doing much against the heat.

Yoongi hummed, glancing at him over the edge of his glass as he took a sip as well. Uncertain of how to answer such a banal but also difficult question. Had he?

"Not fully yet," he eventually sighed, deciding being honest with his friend. "And I guess the timing I picked doesn't make it easier."

It wasn't a secret that Yoongi didn't like temperatures above 25°C. Making him regret leaving the city at the end of winter instead of the beginning of summer.

"Aish, Yoongi, you're too dramatic," his younger friend laughed out, patting his shoulder over the table. "Summertime is the best time after all!"

"You only say that 'cause everyone's showing more skin with these temperatures.." Yoongi mumbled with a teasing smirk, causing Jimin to gasp.

"That's what you say." His eyes frantically looking around the place to make sure no one had heard him, continuing purposely in a louder tone then, "Remember, I'm not single anymore and soon becoming a dad. I'm not looking at other women anymore!"

"Save you breath," Arabella's voice suddenly rang from behind them, making Jimin tense up.  And he turned around with a wide, innocent smile. "Bella-baby!"

She cocked a brow at him before sitting dpwn next to him. Pushing him with her hips to scoot a bit further into the booth. "Sorry for taking longer. Everyone's out with that weather.." she groaned. She leaned over the cool tabletop then, spreading her arms over it since it was a nice contrast to the heat outside.

Jimin poked her tired face with slight concern. "Aw, love, should I get you something cool to drink?"

"Yes, please," she whined, pouting at Jimin who was pouting back at her.

"Alright, give me a sec."

And with that he immediately got up and headed to the bar counter.

 Arabella blinked an eye open then, smirking at Yoongi. "Aw, Yoongs, you must be dying right now," she giggled and sat up straight again. Pointing at the sweat beats on his forehead. He rolled his eyes, chuckling lightly . "A little."

"I know you'd prefer being on the mountains right now, but I'm actually glad you're back," she smiled at him before her brows knitted together. Taking a closer look on him. "Wait.."

"W-what?" he asked, puzzled about the sudden change in her demeanor.

"Your cheeks!" She reached over the table, pinching one of the said cheeks. Making him whine and gently slapping her hand away. "They're gone! Your chubby cheeks are gone!" She sunk back with a sulky expession and folded arms. "I liked your chubby cheeks. Didn't you eat enough in that temple you were staying at?"

His lips folded into a straight line. "I-I did."

"What did you?"

Jimin had returned, confused about what was going on that made his girlfriend look so upset. He sat a glass of cold ice tea in front of her before taking his previous seat. Sliding his arm around her shoulders.

"Ate enough. She thinks my cheeks aren't chubby anymore.." The older guy laughed under his breath, finding it somewhat ironic how much she cared about his eating habits. Who would have thought years back that a day like this would ever come. However, Yoongi's answer only confused Jimin more.

Arabella's pout grew as she glanced at him. "You need to eat more then, I want the chubby cheeks back."

"Bella, let the man eat as much as he wants," Jimin squeazed her shoulder with a giggle. He faced Yoongi then with an apologetic smile. "She suddenly wants to feed everyone and everything and gets obsessed with chubby things. I don't know where this comes from."

Well, he could think of a reason. But he thought those motherly insticts would only show up once she actually became a mother and not already during the pregnancy. Especially since the baby bump only now started showing up.

Yoongi waved his hand though, being actually amused by this side of Arabella. In the past she'd often tried to hide her caring side, acting indifferent and cool, so it was nice that she let her soft side out more now. Whether because of her hormones or because of her calmer life. She had changed and wasn't the cunning thief anymore who simply took advantage of his love-blind friend.

Yeah, he and Arabella got along much better now over the years.

So when Arabella and Jimin had decided to retire from thievery when finding out she was pregnant half a year ago, Yoongi and also Taehyung were more than supportive.

Especially since they weren't as young anymore as they'd been when first starting and besides, Taehyung wanted to finally settle down with Cassandra as well. And considering Yoongi hadn't started off as a thief from a young age like those two, only stumbling into that life when meeting them, he didn't mind much going back to only sword fighting.

Although one thing wasn't completely true: that Jimin and Arabella had completely retired from it.

"Oh, by the way," Yoongi said then, remembering something. A knowing smirk spreading over his features. "How was your weekend trip to the capital?"

Both Jimin and Arabella's heads shot up. Eyeing him suspiciously. "Who said we were there?"

Yoongi shrugged, folding his arms on the table and leaned over. "The news. What was it again this time? A golden necklace, if I remember correctly?"

"Shhh.." Arabella pressed a finger to her lips, looking around. Luckily the place was sparely visited during this hour.

Yoongi chuckled and sat back. "So it really was you two, huh?"

Jimin offered him a cocky grin. "You know.. people shouldn't underestimate a pregnant woman. Makes it even easier to distract and fool them."

Shaking his head, the older guy laughed under his breath. "Isn't it morally reprehensible to use a fetus for your steals?"

"Maybe, but I'm not gonna sit there for nine months and do nothing," Arabella huffed, giggling, "So it has to come along whether it wants to or not."

Perhaps it was easier for him and Taehyung to completely leave that life back since they hadn't been the actual thieves, rather the assistants. The real thieves had always been Jimin and Arabella.

"I mean, you do you," Yoongi shrugged, "I'm just glad you guys do well."

"Aww, that's so nice," Arabella cooed and pinched his cheek again. Earning another groan from him.

"Yoongi's always been the biggest softie among us," Jimin told her, grinning at the older guy then, "He just didn't like showing it so much. Isn't that right?"

"Yeah, whatever," Yoongi mumbled and hid his smile behind his glass, taking a larger gulp. The ice cubes having almost melted by now.

Jimin sighed then. "I'm still sorry I bailed on you guys last weekend for that heist though."

Yoongi shrugged, having already assured him it was fine since he was quite understanding in that aspect. "Seriously, it's alright. Me and Taehyung had a good time. And when he left, I sat a little longer, walked into someone I knew so we somewhat hung out together.. it's not like I was a total loner just because you couldn't make it and Taehyungie had to leave earlier."

He sat his glass down, puzzled to see his two friends staring at him with wide eyes. Making him frown. "What?"

"You met someone?"

His eyes grew wide at Jimin's question, only now registering his own words. "An.. acquaintance."

"And who is she?"

Yoongi swallowed, seeing both grinning at him now. "Who said it's a 'she'?"

"Your eyes sparkled a little when mentioning it." 

Jimin and his ability to analyse everyone and look right through them again. Practical in heists, unbelievably annoying in their friendship.

"Fine, yeah, it was a girl I helped out a week earlier," he shrugged, sounding as non-chalantly as possible since the two made a bigger deal out of it than it was, "I ran into her again last weekend and guess, helped her out again. That's it."

Jimin nodded, another question popping up in his mind. He restrained himself from asking it though. So it was even more surprising when Arabella said it out loud instead. "Is she hot?"

The two men looked at her astonished, causing her to frown puzzled. "What? I'm just curious 'cause he never gets involved with anyone. At least I've never seen him going out with anyone. That's why I assume she must be hot."

"First of all," Yoongi said then, coughing, "My private life is no one's business."

Arabella rolled her eyes at this.

"Second of all, we didn't go out. We randomly walked into each other." Well, technically he'd run after her, but those were just minor details they didn't have to know. "And third of all -" He paused abruptly, realising he didn't know hot to continue. However, there wasn't a reason to hold back and not simply admit it. "Yeah, she's hot. But that doesn't matter. I'd have helped her either way."

"I know for a fact that you would," Jimin nodded, knowing Yoongi long and well enough to know he'd have helped anyone. Not just hot women in need. "So when are you meeting her again?"

Yoongi slowly began getting fed up with this interrogation. "Guys!" he sharply said, interrupting them from proceeding with their questions with a short slam on the tabletop. "Yeah, I found her.. intriguing and I guess she also, I don't know, liked me. But she might've left the city by now so there's no point for you to fantasize."

The couple sank into their seats, seemingly disappointed hearing it, which only confused him more to why they were so invested in his private life. Then again, these two had always been the nosiest one of his friends. Maybe Cassandra also a little, sometimes at least.

He really missed Taehyung right now.

"But she might still be here right?" Arabella asked then, her face lightning up at the small hope, "Text or call her to find out."

Yoongi scoffed, arching a brow at her. "Really?"

"Yeah, obviously! It's been a few days, so it wouldn't seem clingy. Do it!"

Jimin shrugged, emptying his drink. "Bella's right, it could be worth a shot."

He couldn't argue with that and it'd be a lie if he said he hadn't already thought of texting her multiple times these past days. Still, he was contemplating whether doing so would be a good idea. Sure, they had all retired from thievery and tried living a normal life there - at least most of them - but that didn't change the fact that outside of Taiwan he was a wanted criminal. Uncertain if getting involved with anyone, even if it ended up as just a mere fling, would be a wise. Especially since she seemed to have her own issues going on. Issues bigger than herself.

"C'mon, what are you waiting for?"

He groaned annoyed, eventually giving into her pleads and took his phone out. Not expecting much when typing a simple text to her. Soyeon having most likely left town anyway.

yoongi (6:53pm): hey

He put the phone down again. Not expecting much to come out of this until his phone suddenly vibrated. Taking all three off-guard. Someone was calling him.

"Answer! What are you waiting for!"

"Uhm." He quickly grabbed it and stood up. Rushing outside to accept it.

"Hello?"

"Yoongi?"

His lips tucked into a smile when hearing her voice. "Hey."

He heard a relieved sigh on the other phone line then.

"I'm so sorry. I know you said if something happens I could call but.. I wasn't sure if you'd actually meant it and.. and.."

Her words made him instantly frown. And he noticed her distressed tone. Her voice shaky and also hushed, as if she tried not to be heard by anyone. His fingers tightening around the device as a hot flash spread inside him. "Soyeon, what happened? Where are you?"

She dragged a breath. "Okay, this might sound weird but.. I'm in the bathroom stall of a restaurant somewhere downtown, near the main square. But I don't know which one."

"You.. seriously?"

"Yeah.." she laughed out weakly, recognising the absurdity of the situation. "And I can't go out and have someone see me like this. So I'm kinda stuck here.."

"Okay, I'll come and pick you up."

She inhaled sharply. "Really?"

"Yeah, just might take some time to find you.." he chuckled and she couldn't help but smile at the sound of his laugh. Relieved that he didn't call her crazy and instantly hung up on her instead.

"I'll be waiting. It's not like I got anywhere else to go.."

"Good, just stay where you are."

He ended the call, looking up at the cloudless sky. He sighed.

Just what did she get herself into again?

»»»

"Soyeon?"

It was the fifth restaurant bathroom he checked out by now. He had gone to more, but most didn't have stalls, which limited the possible places. Walking into women's restrooms hadn't been a pleasant way to pass time. Only earning him weird looks and yells.

"Yeah?" he heard a voice squeak from behind a locked door and he exhaled. Finally having found her. 

He walked up to the stall and knocked. The clicking of the doorknob being turned echoing against the tiles. The door cracked open then, Soyeon peeking from behind it, covering half of her face. 

"Hey," she smiled awkwardly, "So you managed finding me after all."

"I said I would, didn't I?" Noticing her hesitating from coming out, his smile faded. "Is everything okay?"

"Uhm yeah, just.." Her lips folded with an insecure look. Making him frown. He lightly pushed the door then to see what was going on. His breath hitching. 

Her arms and hands were covered in scratches and grazes and there was an incised wound on her forehead, a thin trail of blood lining the side of her face.

"Soyeon, what the fck happened? You're bleeding."

"I'm not bleeding," she retorted casually, feeling suddenly small under his appalled stare. "It's just a small cut."

"Small? That definitely needs stitches."

She pressed her jaw together and looked away. She didn't like being vulnerable and weak. She didn't like asking others for help. However, there she was having this guy help her for a third time now. A guy she barely knew and found insanely attractive. Feeling embarrassed would be an understatement.

"It's okay, really. I can take care of that later," she said then, playing her insecurity off.  She couldn't go to the hospital with that and risk them asking questions and call the police. "I just need a way to get past the people outside in the restaurant. They'd probably freak and call the cops if they saw me like this."

"Maybe calling the cops wouldn't be a bad idea," he said, his brown eyes carrying deep concern. Making her swallow hard. Shaking her head, she tried playing it off with a laugh. "No, it's okay. Just help me get out, that's the last favour I'm gonna ask you today. I promise."

He huffed, finding her behaviour irrational, although somewhere understandable. His friends and him hadn't been much better in the past either. So he dragged a sigh, his expression softening. "How did you even get inside here in the first place?"

She pointed at the small window at the back. "I saw it being open when I ran into the back alley. But while hiding here, an employee came and locked it with a key, so I couldn't leave from there again."

He nodded understanding. "Alright, get back inside there and wait. I'll look for something to cover you up."

With a pout she waddled back into the stall, locking it behind her.

As promised, Yoongi returned not too long after. Holding a cardigan and a bucket hat he had bought from a shop near by. 

He put the hat on her head and lightly pulled it down, enough to cover the ugly cut. Soyeon blushed under the close proximity, even if it hadn't been the first time. He handed her the cardigan then and while she slid it over her body, he took some paper towels and wetted them at the sink. He turned around then, biting back a laugh at how adorable she looked in that big cardigan. Sleeves way too long for her arms, hanging losely. He coughed instead as it'd have been highly unfitting to laugh considering the situation. Still, she noticed. "What?"

"Nothing, you just look kinda cute," he shrugged, ignoring her widening eyes as he wiped the blood from the side of her face with the paper towel. He tossed it into the bin then, facing her again. "Ready?"

"Y-yes, I think so."

He grabbed her hand over the sleeve then and gently tucked her out of the restrooms. Peeking out at the restaurant first, making sure no one was looking at their direction.

The restaurant was quite crowded, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, Yoongi knew from experience. More people meant they'd stand out less and wouldn't receive much attention.

"Alright, avoid any eye-contact and just walk casually. Got it?"

She nodded quickly and they walked out into the filled space. Waiters rushing around, taking orders or serving tables. Guests arriving or leaving. Loud chatter filling the atmosphere. They passed by everything and in no time reached the entrance and stepped out. Breathing in the warm evening air.

They continued the same way outside as well. Casual walk, no eye-contact as he lrd her to his car a few blocks away. Still holding her hand firmly. As if he wanted to assure her that everything was alright. Only when he unlocked the vehicle, he let go of her. Leaving a tingling feeling on her skin. She followed him inside then, letting out a long breath. 

"Seriously, thank you so much. I owe you.. again." She pulled the hat off and lowered the sun visor, taking a better look on the cut in the small mirror, gasping lightly. It was much bigger than she thought. She hadn't even noticed the dryed blood along her temple. Traces of it still there as he had missed to clean everything. "I'll buy you all the drinks you want, I swear."

Yoongi didn't reply though. His eyes laying on her with lasting worry as she touched the wound, flinching. He shook his head then as an old memory crept back into his mind. And he started the engine, driving off. 

When they reached a red light, he stopped and reached for his phone in his pocket. Calling a number and waiting for the dial tone to end.

"Yeh." Taehyung's way of answering the phone making him almost laugh out.

"Hey, is Cas home?"

"Uhm, yeah why?"

"Can I talk to her for a second?" He side-eyed Soyeon, making sure she didn't suspect anything. He heard shuffling on the other end of the line and Taehyung's muffled voice. Being replaced by a soft female one seconds later. "Hey, what's up?"

He sighed. He really hated asking her for that favour, feeling like he'd take advantage of her. He didn't have much of a choice though. And besides, he knew Cassandra would most likely feel comically offended if he didn't come to her with this.

"I could need your skills. I know you aren't our personal doctor, but I got this.. friend, and she can't go to the hospital with that."

Soyeon's head instantly snapped at his direction when hearing that. "Yoongi, I said it's okay."

He ignored her, continuing speaking to Taehyung's wife.

"Oh, Yoongs, what happened?" Cassandra asked worried.

"It's nothing major, just.. a cut." The light turned green and he drove again. Hearing Cassandra sighing on the other phone line. "Yes, of course, bring them over and I'll take a look."

"Thank you, Cas. I owe you."

"You know exactly you don't," she giggled, "See you soon."

Yoongi ignored Soyeon's angry glare when he hung up. And she shook her head in disbelief.

"You don't need to worry for me."

"Well, but I do," he deadpanned, glancing at her briefly before focusing back on the road, "And you're being an idiot right now. This wound might get infected or leave a scar. It's better to let my friend take care of it, she's a doctor."

Her lips parted, staring at him speechlessly. Never had someone called her an idiot while being this concerned about her at the same time. Usually she'd have yelled at someone for patronising her like this. But she didn't this time. She simply sat back silently. Glancing at the cut in the side-mirror. Maybe he wasn't wrong after all.

"So.." he began then, carefully not to provoke her as his eyes were calmly laying on the road, "Will you tell me how you ended up with those grazes and cuts?"

She heaved a sigh, her eyes wandering outside at the passing buildings. "Guess you deserve an explanation."

"I think so, too."

"Long story short, these jerks showed up in front of my door and the only way to escape was to climb from my balcony to the neighbour's. They weren't home though, which was probably better as they'd have probably thought I was insane. But this led me to smash their glass door and.. yeah."

"Pretty adventurous."

She shrugged. "Call it survival instincts."

"And will you now also tell me why they're after you in the first place?" he smirked.

"Nope," she grinned mischieviously, making him raise a brow at her.

"No?"

"Mhm, maybe later."

He laughed dryly, shaking his head while turning to another street.

She was indeed quite a mystery.

»»»

next chapter: 0.3 here

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