#Glitching Mind Disorder

[steven-mudverse]

It’s Coining Time!

Glitching Mind Disorder (GMID)

Glitching Mind Disorder is someone who’s mind has a constant static, numbing, or null mind. This can be connected to a trauma, pass on genetic trait, or gained later on in one’s life.

symptoms contain : Mind having a constant hazing or null/blank state A struggle to consecrate even on simple tasks Fluctuating between too many thoughts to none at all Forgetfulness Easy to misunderstand and not process information

no flag : if one is made I’ll repost it! I do not plan to take requests at this time. But I hope you enjoy.

[bimobuddy]

Learning to Trust

SFW Hazbin TK fic

Alright people hear me out with this one

Major Spoilers

CW: Brief mention of anxiety disorders, swearing

Lee!Vox, Ler!Alastor

It's kind of a ship? The Aromantic 'Squish' equivalent of a ship. Well not yet anyway, they're still rivals in this, but I might make a part 2 that explores that a little more

It was gonna be Valentino and Vox, but I'm mad at Val so he got his boyfriend privileges taken away >:(

This might get kinda angsty, sorry in advance

Summary: Vox is glitching out and having connection issues, so he bites the bullet and asks help from the only other demon who can help him. Unfortunately with that demon being Alastor, they run into some issues.

It had started happening after the battle between the exterminators and the sinners. The War between Heaven and Hell. Vox had been watching it all happen on his TV, mostly keeping an eye on Alastor. Originally the plan was to watch by himself, but Velvet insisted they all watch together, and he couldn't really think of a good enough lie to tell her no, so he gave in.

He had spent the whole night playing up how much he hated Alastor, which is easy when your entire life and afterlife, you've been a TV Show Host. Many years of acting. At one point he even hoped if he got too obnoxious, the other two might leave, but used to his antics, they stayed.

But inside he was immensely stressed out. Yes he and Alastor were rivals, but there was something about the rivalry he needed. Something about it he liked. He couldn't really explain it himself, and he preferred not to think about it, preferring to tell himself that he just enjoyed hating the Radio Host.

So when he watched Alastor almost get killed by Adam, seeing him actually vulnerable for once... It scared him.

Then started the glitching. He knew it was from stress, the feeling was very familiar to when he was a human with an anxiety disorder. Only instead of a racing heart and suddenly feeling faint and warm, his anxiety came in the form of glitching, as his mind couldn't process everything, and showed it visibly on his screen.

He had tried for hours to make it stop, to try and fix it himself, but he couldn't see the mirror properly through all the glitching. That and the glitching made it hard to think.

He considered going to Velvet, but despite her phone and social media use, she didn't actually know anything about the tech itself. There was one more option, but he really didn't want to even consider it.

Though as he started to glitch out again, he decided to just bite the bullet.

-

Vox found himself scaling up the side of the Hotel, climbing toward Alastor's radio tower.

He'd rather fall to his death than use the doors and ask to see him. As he reached the top, he frantically tapped on the window, feeling another glitch about to happen.

Nothing.

He started tapping again, even faster this time.

Still nothing.

He made a fist and drew his arm back to just break the window in-

*click*

"Well this is quite the predicament." Alastor said, leaning over the windowsill. "Shut up asshole, just let me in." Vox grumbled. Alastor's grin seemed to widen. "And why shouldn't I just give you a little nudge?" The radio host questioned, placing his cane lightly against Vox's screen.

Vox couldn't help but notice that his cane had been seemingly glued back together and.. bandaged up? He didn't have time to think about that. "I uh.." He trailed off, only for Alastor to push his cane a little harder into Vox's screen. He tried to speak again, but he glitched, losing his grip and slipping.

But he didn't fall. Through all the TV static, he felt his wrists being grabbed, as he was pulled upward. He still couldn't focus much, but he recognized that he had dropped to a hardwood floor now.

"My, this certainly is quite a problem.. For you, anyway, I find it entertaining." Alastor chuckled. Vox pressed a palm to the cool floor to try and ground himself. Gradually, the static cleared itself. "You know what I found interesting? That someone as strong and as feared as you got cut down by an angel." He said, glaring.

The room got deadly silent, Alastor's smile much more strained now.

"... I need your help, okay?"

"And why should I help you? Especially after that nice little comment you made."

"Listen, I'm- Ugh. Forget it, I don't know why I even both-øťhəred-" Vox had stood to leave, only for another glitch to have him leaning against the wall for support.

"It appears neither of us are in great shape." Alastor said, begrudgingly lifting Vox by his upper arm and setting him in one of the swivel chairs. He crossed his arms and waited for Vox's glitching to pass.

After a solid minute, Vox groaned, his head starting to hurt. "So what made you think you'd come to someone who famously hates television boxes for help? Especially when that person is a rival, an enemy, someone you've fought in the past?" Alastor asked.

Vox looked up at him, feeling that pit of anxiety in his stomach again. "I didn't know who else to go to. Valentino is useless, Velvet doesn't know shit about tech, and you're the only other demon who has seen me weak before."

Alastor took a moment to process that last part. He considered it. If he helped Vox, he risked being seen as soft. But if he didn't help him, what if it got worse, and he lost his nemesis, the pettiness that kept him going at times, that pushed him to be the best Host?

He sat down in his seat, across from Vox. "Do you trust me?" He asked. Vox thought for a moment. Did he? He must have if he came here. "I have to."

"Good enough." Alastor went to get started... "Wait how the hell do I do this? I'm more familiar with my own equipment."

Oh, right. Vox sighed. "The back of my monitor comes off. Just open it, and I'll instruct you from there." He said, turning around and removing his hat.

Alastor curled his fingers around the back panel of his monitor, causing Vox to jump a little. "If you want me to help you, sit still-" "I am, shut up." Alastor pulled the back panel off and was met with what to him looked like Alien technology.

After Vox had instructed him on what to do, he got to work. Though he didnt like working in silence, it felt a little too intimate, especially with his hands inside someone else's head.

"So what exactly caused this, if I may ask?" He questioned. "Stress. I start to glitch out when things are hard to process and I overload. Sometimes if the glitching gets too bad, I shut down, which I'd rather avoid."

"Shut down," Alastor repeated, "I thought if you 'shut down,' you'd die or something?" "No, no.. I can more closely compare it to burnout but ten times worse. Last time I shut down, it took me a week to recharge."

"Hm. And what caused you to become so stressed this time? Sure I've seen you briefly buffer and glitch during our fights, but never this bad." Alastor asked. Vox noticed the radio filter in his voice seemed to fade out. He was genuinely curious.

He didn't know what to say. More like he didn't know how to say it. How do you tell your rival of all people you were stressed because you saw them get hurt?

"Well? With how close I am to all these wires, I'd answer if I were you." Ah, his filter was back. "I just.. Got overworked." "Need I remind you how easy it would be for me to unplug some of these wires? Hm, this yellow one seems awfully loose-" "I was worried oka- Aha!"

...

"What do we have here?" Alastor asked, a smile evident in his voice. Vox froze. He actually didn't know 'what they had there.' That had never happened before.

"I-I don't know, but Alastor I swear to Satan himself- wahait- grr- Don't!" He gripped the armrests of his seat in a desperate attempt to hold still. He worried if he pulled away too fast, he'd accidentally rip a wire out.

It felt so weird. He could actually feel Alastor messing with the wires in his head, specifically the ones down at the bottom that ran down his neck and into his back. Each time the Radio host rolled one between his fingers, it sent what felt like electricity into his system. Thousands of little shocks that made him want to pull away and- No. He wouldn't, it was dumb, it was weak, and it wasn't like him.

Alastor grinned wider, finding it fun to mess with him. "Why Vox, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were ticklish." He said, rubbing the wires again, watching as Vox gripped the armrests tighter and scrunched his shoulders up. Alastor only grew more amused as he heard the other's fans whir to life as his ventilation system tried to cool him down.

Vox, however, felt like he was fighting for his life. His shoulders were shaking, his chest was spasming, and he felt his screen overheating. He was actively fighting back any noise that tried to escape. He refused to be seen as any weaker than he already was. "T-Tickl-what? The f-fuhuck is that? Thihis isn't a vihirus??"

Alastor paused. "You seriously have never heard of tickling? It's childsplay. Children often have tickle-fights with their siblings and friends. You've never even seen it?" "I never really had any friends."

There was a beat of silence.

"What about the other V's?"

"Gross, you think I'd let Valentino get anywhere near me? You know where his hands have been?"

"Where haven't they been is the real question."

Fuck, that got a laugh out of Vox. A real one too, not the fake rehearsed one he used in public or on TV. It was lighter than Alastor expected, genuine, and almost had a warm sound to it if you can imagine that.

And Alastor found himself wanting to hear it again. "I suppose I should get back to maintenance now shouldn't I?" He said, returning to his work, get making sure his hands brushed over the wires and cables occasionally. More than occasionally.

"A-Alastor- fuhuck- wahahait- *wheeeze* ahahahaha!" Vox found himself stomping the floor a little, since he was unable to pull away. He felt light scritching at the base of his neck, obviously intentional. "Yohohou ohold tihihimey prihick! I'll d-dehehe- dehehehahahaha!"

"Oh I'm sorry, you're going to what now? I can't exactly hear you." Alastor grinned. Both hands, or claws one should say, suddenly scritched at the back of his ribs.

Unable to control himself, Vox tossed his head back and laughed, and slammed backward, pressing his back into the seat. Alastor was quick to pull his hands back with a chuckle.

Vox's fans were whirring loudly. "You ahasshole, just finish fuckin' repairing me." "Oh I finished that ten minutes ago!" Alastor answered cheerfully, popping the back panel back into place in Vox's monitor.

Vox groaned, irritated.

"I still find it hard to believe you've never heard of tickling! Everyone knows about it. I'm even more surprised no one's ever found out by accident. Not even while reparing your monitor?"

"I fix myself, I don't trust anyone to touch me."

"You trusted me."

Vox turned his swivel chair around to face Alastor. "I did, yeah.."

Alastor tilted his head a little in curiosity. "And maybe you could trust me again. You never did tell me what got you so stressed." Vox rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because you started assaulting me before I could."

"Voxius."

"That's not- Did you just assign me a full name?"

"Yes, now quit stalling." Alastor said, latching a hand onto Vox's side. "WAIT-" He shouted before batting at his hand, huffing out chuckles. Alastor only crawled his hands up Vox's ribs before targeting his underarms.

"WAITFUCKTHATSWORSE!" He cackled out, slamming his arms down, trapping Alastor's hands. The Radio demon only chuckled. "You'll learn that when it comes to tickling, much like real fights, you're not supposed to let your opponent know exactly where your weak points are. Now I can do this." He stated before drilling his thumbs into Vox's underarms.

"FAHAHAHACK!" He shouted, kicking a leg out, much like a dog, whilst also trying to curl up in his chair to protect himself. "Thihihis ihihis rihihihidiculohohous!!"

"What's ridiculous is that you still haven't answered the question."

"YOHOU WOHONT LEHEHET MEHEHE!"

"Hm, fine." Alastor stopped and pulled his hands away. Vox tried to kick him but of course a tendril came out and grabbed his leg, as he expected.

Vox muttered something. "I'm sorry?" Alastor asked, leaning closer. Vox sighed. "I was worried." "About?"

"About you."

Alastor's eyes widened ever so slightly. Vox had been violently glitching out over him? "Why is that?" His voice was normal.

"You're my rival, so obviously I tuned in to watch the battle. I wanted to see if you'd get killed. Part of me obviously wanted it to happen, but when I saw that Angel snap your cane and actually hit you-" Alastor flinched at the memory, "Seeing you actually vulnerable like that.. I realized I didn't actually want to lose my one and only rival. As much as I hate ya, you do push me to come up with newer and better shows in order to compete with you."

"I... can't say I haven't thought the same thing. Because of you I have to write better scripts and find the best topics for my broadcast. Even though it's no question that I'm the best," he grinned as Vox frowned, "But I am the best because of you."

Vox wasn't sure what to say to that, having mixed feelings. Before he could overthink it, Alastor held a hand out. He took it, as the other demon helped him up. "Now, it's quite late, and you have a tight schedule, I'm sure." He opened the window, as a large tendril waited outside for Vox.

"I do appreciate you coming to check on me." He said before hurrying Vox out the window, as he sat on the tendril. "If you tell anyone I said that, I just might broadcast this newly discovered sensitivity of yours." He threatened.

There was the Alastor he knew and loved to hate.

"I won't, don't worry. I don't feel like explaining to anyone why I was over at your Radio Tower anyway. You hurry up and heal, Alastor, I want you in top shape for our next fight," He smirked, "Even I'm not low enough to kick someone while he's do-OOOWN-" The tendril suddenly dropped, pulling Vox down with it, where it would drop him off safely on the ground.

Alastor shut his window, and watched the TV show host leave down the hill. Never in a million years did he think Vox would ever trust him, nor did he ever think he'd help his rival.

But he couldn't deny that he had had a little fun that night, not only tickling him, but just talking and getting to know him a little.

This night might have made their rivalry slightly more complicated.

[help-an-alter]

INTRO

Hello! Welcome to our blog.

blog is for fragments, by fragments.

THIS BLOG SUPPORTS PALESTINE!

THE MODS!

Creator (alters listed);

anything with a ".here" at the end of the name is the creator (the one who came up with this!!)

S (Any pronouns)

55 (Any xenos or he/it.)

RAINBOW (Any, preferably feminine but they dont mind)

Rs (He/him)

A (masculine pronouns of any sort.)

J (he/they)

Red (Any masculine pronouns)

Some have chosen to hide their real name, and instead use a code name. --------

Other mods here!!! (create a template of your own if you want)

mod cupid / mod 💘

Bitter (they/them)

Adorerine (she/he/they/it/love++)

Cherie (she/it/mew)

Mimi (she/needle)

(that's all the alters we know are gonna help sometimes)

--------

jinx / helena / mortuary [they/them]

sayona [she/they]

ven [he/him]

ari [it/she/glitch/pop+]

ithaca [fog/they] -----

Oz (they/them)

Lei (they/any)

Cog (he/him)

G (he/they)

Sol (he/they)

On this blog we will collectively go by Shiver (they/them), some of the alters helping out have stayed anon with fake names! -------

Sprout (He/Him)

Mousey (She/They/Adore)

Other alters might pop in but it’s mainly these two!

-------

Hi, I'm Mod Celestia (System)! We use any pronouns (including neos and xenos) :3

I can't guarantee alters will do sign offs but they might, and if so they'll probably do their name then .cel

Some alters who will likely help this blog are

Anne Marie (she/ghost/blood/fire/wing/death)

Niki (she/they/it)

Row (they/it/he/xe/paw/fern/allium/hydrangea/hyacinth)

Draculaura (she/they/fang/bat/blood)

Collei (she/vi/bloom/pain)

-------

Hawks/Emma (All pronouns)

Mod ❄️ (She/Snow/Flurry/Hir)

Some others might pop in from time to time, and I can guarantee this will change since our frequent fronters change all the time! If they do they will add .crow on the end of their name!

-------

Mod FireFly/Mod Lupin (it/fae/xe/they)

RagDoll (he/she)

Alec (he/they)

Alexa (she/they)

Some more of us might come on and we may or may not sign off with names ! (if not it'll be with our emoji proxies !)

↓ more under the cut! ↓

wowweeeee is that an anon list!?!!?

DNI:

supporters of Endos or any non disordered 'systems'

any non disordered 'systems'

people who see this as build an alter. its different. read the FAQ

Pedos, zoophiles, anti furries, anti regression, anti system in general.

Syscourse

Racists, Zionists, pro-israel

Pro r/systemscringe

Sophieinwonderland (she cant follow dnis so thats why shes here)

FAQ

"What is "Help an Alter?"

You know that really ableist "build an alter"? yea? its like THAT, but for fragmented alters with no sense of identity. We do not build alters, we help them find themself.

"I have a question!!"

Questions can be directed to our inbox.

"syscourse blah blah"

Syscourse is NOT welcome on this blog.

"Im an endo and..."

Endos are also not welcome.

"Whats your main blog?"

We aren't comfortable with sharing.

"Are you hiring?"

Not at the moment, we have enough mods :)

-- END OF QUESTIONS --

Thanks for the questions !

Special thank yous: @syscultureis and their followers for helping us find the name, @anti-endo-safe-space for being so comforting with your messages, @anti-endo-polyfragculture for being so epic and inspiring us, all of our main blog mutuals for supporting us (you know who you are!!), @systemterms for being so helpful, @syspport for the awesome userbox (shown at the end!!) and everyone else!

[osachiyo]

please for the love of god, read my rules before interacting/requesting.

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

do not steal/copy/repost/translate ANY of my works. plagiarism is not cool.

I write and interact with nsfw stuff so minors (-18) please don't interact with my blog. I am not responsible for anything you consume on the internet.

this blog contains dark content. if you are uncomfortable with that, I suggest you click off and don't attack me. just because I think something is hot in fiction, that does not mean I condone such acts in real life. fiction is not reality, keep that in mind.

be patient while requesting. I have a life outside of tumblr and this is not my first priority. please remember this is just my hobby, not a full time job and don't rush me/demand things from me because I will most likely ignore your ask if you do.

be nice. I write for fun, please remember that. writers don't owe you anything, and I'm not being paid to do this, so have decent manners while requesting

please refrain from trauma-dumping in my askbox. While I do love talking to you guys, please refrain from sending me extreme stuff. I understand if you are going through something, but I am a stranger on the internet, not your therapist.

any anon hate, threats or bullshit like that will be ignored or I'll most likely clown on you.

don't bring any drama in my askbox, especially not about other creators. this is a writing blog and we're just here to be horny and read stuff, not partake in any drama's.

absolutely no kind of discourse. but I will speak up if I sense some bs going 'round and esp if it involves my moots.

refrain from giving me criticism unless it is asked for.

be specific but not too specific please, like paragraphs after paragraphs. only a few sentences should suffice.

don’t spam like me. if i spot that someone’s spam liking my work without a single reblog, it’s a block. if I spot you liking 5+ posts without a single reblog, you'll get blocked. remember, likes don't share my work, reblogs do :)

if you're gonna send me fanart that doesn't belong to you, please please PLEASE credit the artist in the ask, or just don't send it at all.

please don’t spam my inbox. i receive lots of asks and i try to answer as many. sending me constant asks makes things harder for me and doesn't increase the chance of me responding to you. i’ll delete them or just ignore them to avoid spam.

𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋

if you wanna break mutuals then hard block me. if you soft block i'll most likely think it's a glitch and follow you again. please DON'T just unfollow and have me still following you.

please don't feel offended or attacked if i block you.

if you have a problem with me, don't be shy to dm me about it. don't subpost about me, because i WILL see it. let's handle shit like adults, yeah?

tba

Stuff I don't write ↓

amab/male reader + etc, pseudo/step-cest/incest, necro, vore, character x character, age regression, lolicon/shotacon, ddlg, foot fetish, bukkake, gang bangs, pedophilia, Mori, breast feeding, watersports, piss kink, domestic abuse, brainwashing, scat, cbt, food play, snowballing, race play, m-preg, knotting, bestiality, eating disorders, wound fucking, heavy bleeding, milf! reader, shock play, shoe licking, high school au! setting (nsfw), panty sniffing, sounding, race/color specified reader, oc's, SUKUNA, aging up minors etc. — these are subjected to change.

any confusions? don't be afraid to throw me an ask !

↪ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐒

[weebsinstash]

Not gonna lie if I were the reader after they got replaced by YouTwo I would be a neurotic mess lmao. I already mental issues but I can't imagine going through their trauma on top of everything. I would definitely be scratching myself again out of sheer stress and anxiety about whether or not everybody will replace me again. My arms would look horrible. Oh boy imagine everybody's reaction to realizing they've messed up this badly and absolutely ruined the reader

Other people: fun ways we can write! Coffee shop au! Red string of fate! Hanahaki! Enemies to lovers!

me: what if I sat and tried to seriously and realistically contemplate the ramifications of a severely traumatic experience and the following neurotic habits that arise from the spiral down

Reader gets back to Spider Society, either glitching back in or "being rescued" whatever, and, you're just doing shit like digging food out of the trash "you'd never guess what kinds of perfectly good stuff people throw away, and it saves time to not have to wait for anything to be prepped! Never know when you'll vanish in the middle of a meal or that one serial killer will pop out at you again!! Ahaha!

Someone comes to check on you and you deadass have a fucking, tripwire web trap all around you, you're not even sleeping in a bed you're in your own webbing (because we rock organic webbing here because it fucks) so the second anything like, opens the door of your apartment or comes near you, you're instantly aware. Peter B comes in "heeeey, just wanna check in, make sure you're doing ok--" and there's fucking web wires rattling cans as he opens the front door and suddenly you're wide awake with an actual fucking knife or some kind of equally brutal survivalist weapon and it takes you a few seconds to fully snap out of it and let him calm you down and he has to tell Miguel You Are In Fact Not Doing Ok

You've got real "scaring all your loved ones and everyone around you" energy during those times you're just like going through some manic shit, opening your mouth and going on a sudden 'epiphany' like "i know what would help!! I'm gonna start cutting my face in really visible prominent places and that way you guys will know by the scar who I am :) and when it heals I'll cut myself again :) and again :) maybe I should just cut off a finger, how many of me do you think are missing fingers? Or maybe I could give myself a cool scar!!" And it's just like. What the fuck do they even say to that. A lot of them just genuinely could cry over this, seeing what this did to you. You sound genuinely cheerful at the realization and give no mind to how casually you just suggested self harm out of paranoia and self preservation.

You're just having like hard-core eating disorder issues going from overeating to undereating, binging because you're suffer9ng trauma from starving and then starving yourself "no its fasting, I'm FASTING to save food and money and resources, ok, I can only fit so much in my backpack and--"

You have this backpack from your multiversal glitching travels and keeping it with you basically 24/7 even when you go to the bathroom becomes a comfort habit, because, "never know when your camp has been found by the runners and you've gotta make a break for it" or some other cryptic memory you babble at them like you're discussing coffee when it could be one of the most vile horrifying things they've ever heard

I think the most interesting but tricky thing I've thought of is, what if Reader's trauma-humor coping mechanism gets dialed up to 11 and you can basically never turn it off because, your brain is protecting yourself. It's like you're Doing A Bit but literally all the time like some traumatized method actor and you're just, they're never sure if you're actually telling the truth or actually recounting things you experienced after a while

"Oh man the last time I ate a meal this big was when I finally stopped glitching and I had to break into someone's house and rob them for food! Just call me Santa Claus! But this Earth had suffered a nuclear fallout so all they had was like, DRY CRACKERS and, a lotta canned stuff, icky, and, I was in the middle of trying to pry a tin of lil cocktail weenies open with my teeth when the irradiated house centipedes smelled my blood, just imagine like a normal centipede but, like, the size of a Shetland pony, hey, friendship really IS magic right, and me and these centipedes got SO close, so anyways they smelled my blood, right, and it made them hungry, and--" and here you got like The Entire Squad speechless, Hobies just over here like "fuck, I don't even know what to say to that, you want some ketamine bruv" and yall just hit em with "nah last time I tried ketamine I had a fever dream of being replaced by an evil clone and I was shunned by all my close friends who i thought of like family. Oh wait, that was you guys! That's awkward!"

[picturejasper20]

I'm curious about what mental illness/disorder Vlad Masters seems to have in the show, or at least the closest there is to it. So, one day i was reading about Borderline Personality Disorder and in noticed how some of the symptoms presented in the article shared similarities with how Vlad acts in the show.

Like Vlad has a lot of problems having stable relationships in the show and has a big fear of people abandoning him as show in A Glitch In Time novel. He also can be unpredictable in some ways. He has a quite explosive anger and often is shown to be depressive and unsatisfied with the life he is living. He does some very impulsive things at times, in spite of how intelligent he can be.

Then i found this:

There seems to be a link between BPD and the person having gone through some traumatic experience. This fits how Vlad is heavily implied to have been traumatized for the accident and how ¨it killed his social life¨. So all these things started to show up in result of that and got worse over the course of the years.

Now, keep in mind that this is just pure speculation, i'm not an expert on the subject to do a full diagnosis on this. So it is possible that i'm getting some things wrong in here, just to clarify.

[schizosupport]

hi glitch! no pressure about answering, but I don't have any other schizospec people I can talk to, and I need some support

recently I got diagnosed with Other Specified Schizophrenia Spectrum Disorder/Psychotic Disorder, and I'm starting weekly therapy to get a specific diagnosis and treatment, and I have an evaluation with a psychiatrist to look at meds next week.

the thing is, I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. I've gone through my whole life up to this point trusting my sense of reality, and only had a brief period of time when I self diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (never confirmed).

AND I've started to look into medication, and the one i'll probably be prescribed is Ablify, which seems to have a ton of scary side effects. I'm still in school, and while I'm almost certain I can get accommodations, I can't be sure, and adolescents can be cruel.

truth be told, I'm just scared. I see posts about the opportunities taken away from schizospec people, and I haven't been living under a rock, I know all the stigma that surrounds what I know now to be my community.

like I said, no pressure to answer, I just want some advice and support from a more experienced member of the community.

Hello there!

It's been a while since you sent this message. I hope you are feeling at least a bit more settled in the situation?

It's always wild to get a diagnosis that you didn't necessarily expect. For me, my initial "psychosis not otherwise specified" diagnosis also completely blindsided me, and so did the later schizophrenia diagnosis.

It's true that there's a lot of stigma and bullshit surrounding the schizo spec disorders, but I also want to highlight that schizo spec people are awesome, and we're strong and we got each other's backs. In my experience the psychotics and schizos are the underdogs of not only the psychiatric community but also the mental health community. But that also means that you get a unique opportunity to learn who's a true ally, and to practice your own understanding and acceptance of other marginalized experiences on the edges of life. In my experience our community is one of the most compassionate and accepting communities around, probably bc we know intimately what it's like to have weird experiences and be judged for it. Try to navigate towards a place in your head where you align yourself with other marginalized people and don't get caught up in bitterness about a uniquely fucked situation, but instead take it as a sign to be kind above all else and to think about who else in society might be in a similar position, to find your allies and take comfort in unity.

In terms of the stigma, I think something to keep in mind as a newly diagnosed person, is that to the extent that it's possible, you are the owner of the information about your mental health. And you don't owe anyone disclosure. I'm not saying to necessarily always try to be vague, there ARE safe places and safe people and there ARE situations where you might genuinely broaden someone's horizons by introducing them to the notion that "we are here. We're one of you". But there are also plenty of situations where you don't wanna share that information. You can let them assume, you can omit, you can even lie.

People frequently assume that I'm autistic, and I don't correct them. Maybe I'll respond with "something like that" if they ask. Especially in professional settings. Unless you want someone to know, it's none of their business what exactly is your deal.

In terms of medication, the important thing to keep in mind is that it helps some people, but it is also not (shouldn't be) mandatory to take meds because you're schizo spec. You can give it a try, but if it isn't doing anything helpful for you, you are not obligated to take it. The psych might act like you have to and like it would be completely irresponsible not to. Try to take it with a grain of salt. Think about your life so far, the symptoms that have led to this diagnosis. Can you live with that? Do the meds help with that? Are there side effects and are thet worth it?

I take a low dose of antipsychotics myself and I've tried without and with higher doses too. For me at this point in life, a low dose of antipsychotics are helpful to me.

I'm happy to hear that you've been offered therapy!! I hope that it's any good, and that it's been helpful. I definitely think that therapy (with a good therapist) can be instrumental in dealing with psychotic symptoms.

In the end I just wanna say.. it's gonna be ok. I know it's a big scary new thing, but it is also actually "just" a word that's descriptive of symptoms that you already had. This doesn't mean that you are bound to get worse. Try not to panic about looking for new symptoms or symptoms you might've missed. This can make you worse, as you start questioning all of your experiences and whether they are psychotic. It can be little things like questioning every little sensory input. Try to remember that hallucinations aren't inherently harmful and sometimes you don't have to know if it's real or not bc it literally doesn't matter.

It can often be tumultuous when you've just gotten this diagnosis, before you get used to the thought and reestablish your sense of identity and reality with this in mind. But there is a point of peace coming up. It does normally get easier, as you settle into this new understanding. And you can help yourself along by reminding yourself that the only thing that changed is that you were given a word to describe your existing experience.

I hope any of this is helpful. Best of luck, anon,, and welcome to (knowingly being a member of) the community!

[the-transid-gacha]

I saw the specials for this week and I was wondering if I could have a MUD hoarder? All creators choice! I am not picky :3

Names: Noah, Atlas, Rhea, Or Janice

Genders: Non-binary, Demigirl, & Raccoongender

Orientations: Turigirl, Bisexual, Biromantic, & Demiromantic

TransIDs: PermaCollar, TransFPD (Fractured persona disorder), TransFMD (Fundamental malfunction disorder), TransDelusions, TransHyperAggressiveFighterDisorder, TransTEHRD (Third eye hallucinatory/respiratory disorder), TransHarmless, TransPeaceful, TransLOPD (Love obsessed personality disorder), TransCCS (Chronic coldness syndrome), TransGCCSubtype (General compulsive compliance), TransSpeciesRaccoon, TransHarmed, TransTrauma, TransArmCrutchUser, TransCollegeStudent, TransGreenEyes, TransAutistic, TransADHD, & TransPierced

CisIDs: Glasses, Ginger hair, Brown eyes, Raccoon therian, Freckles, Curly hair, Silver jewelry, FLC (False limp conduction), GMD (Glitching mind disorder), Adaliks syndrome, KL-PD (Kagamine len personality disorder), HDS (Human detachment syndrome), Tan skin, CCD (Compulsive compliance disorder), SubtypeSCC (Selective compulsive compliance), MUD hoarder, Student, Cane user, Knee brace, & Tics

Pronouns: She/Her, They/Them, Raccoon/Raccoon's, & It/It's

Species: Human (TransSpeciesRaccoon)

Age: 17

Source: N/A

Roles: MUD holder, Symptom holder, &

Appearance:

Here you go!!!!!!!!!!!

ENJOY!

-Nina

[misscammiedawn]

A non-exhaustive list of my favorite switches in Mr. Robot

Don't mind me. I am just indulging in one of my fixations because I have time and energy. If there's one thing about Mr. Robot I enjoyed it was how inventive they were with the depictions of a switch. So let's rank a few.

Season 2, Episode 9

The early show doesn't really show a lot of switching because for Season 1 Elliot doesn't know about his condition and in season 2 though they are co-conscious, switches tend to all be blank spots for Elliot. We are firmly in his perspective in the early show (even seeing his hallucinations in season 1), the show kind of backs off from that as it goes on but early on it's not really part of the show's DNA.

This one is showing the first time Elliot is co-fronting when Mr. Robot is front and it causes a blur to happen which is nicely depicted here. Everyone inside and outside the body finds it weird. Decent job.

3/5

Season 3, Episode 2

I have never been a fan of scenes where Rami Malek plays Mr. Robot. I appreciate the subtlety of how the disorder is depicted when actors are not switched out but I never get the full sense that Elliot's social awkwardness fades away when he is depicted as Mr. Robot. In canon the difference between them from those who can tell is that Mr. Robot makes eye contact. In this scene Elliot allows a switch to happen in a therapy setting. They play Malek and Slater's voices overlayed and I think that indicates a lack of bravery that Malek can sell the dramatic shift that Krista's facial expression and the score are selling.

2/5

Season 3, Episode 4

Rare example of an unwanted switch from Mr. Robot. The static is a a mainstay for the show but the real fun tool being used here is the momentum. We are given perspective shots from both Angela and Mr. Robot and the stuttering frame rate and movement of the background sell the disorientation. Often shots where the background moves and the character stays in the same position are used in the show for dissociation and it's great there's a visual language within the show to depict it outside of the static/computer glitch stuff that gets used too much.

Slater really sells the exhaustion that comes when an alter cannot hold on to front any longer. This one is a bit more drawn out and overplayed because there's an urgency in the drama of the scene.

3/5

Season 3, Episode 7

The Cyberbombings have gone off and Elliot isn't sure how responsible he and Mr. Robot may be for the deaths. He tried to stop it and in his panic he rushes to his therapist's office to confess but the act of trying to formulate the words causing him to start to heavily dissociate. This is shown by his voice becoming a static glitching mess as the light fades out and he is pulled away from the camera along with the bookshelf into a void. A vivid and powerful hyperbole that may not capture the feeling of a panicked switch as well as some other season 3 episodes do but looks beautiful on camera and is a vast improvement from the previous episode.

4/5

Season 4, Episode 1

Season 4 is where things really start getting good in my eyes because the pair are co-fronting for a lot of it and will both be present and reacting on the screen so there is a need to ensure the audience can intuit who is fronting at any given time. Much of the time they are lazy and just imply the pair are trading out. Which makes the moments where they actually play with the concept all the more fun.

This here is why I am making this list. Darlene just brought up an emotionally activating topic (Angela's death) and Elliot checks the fuck out and Mr. Robot comes the fuck out to handle it. Look at Elliot. The boy is DONE. He wants nothing to do with this. He's OUT.

No camera tricks. No cuts. No lighting or sound effects. Just a simple bit of blocking and it works.

This is cinema.

5/5

Season 4, Episode 3

Season 4 really does include my favorite depictions. The alliance of Elliot and Mr. Robot really rewards for seeing them at one another's throats the previous seasons. This one is another case of simple blocking and performance depicting the switch rather than editing. I imagine part of this proclivity is to train the audience for S4E7 which is treated like a stage play. Even still this one is not as fun or showy as the last one but I do so enjoy when the pair are working in unison. I've never been able to do fast switching in my own experience but I've seen people who can and I imagine this from when I see them code switch mid-interaction. Still, not really much going on other than the creative team trusting the audience to follow the action. Also Mr. Robot calling himself "Elliot" is a treat.

2/5

Season 4, Episode 9

This one is less about the cinematography and more about the narrative pay off. Elliot has gone dormant because his trauma memories resurfaced and Mr. Robot is fronting the entire episode up until this point. Whiterose is talking to Mr. Robot and addressing him as "Mr. Alderson" and here he offers to let him see the guaranteed dead Angela (we also see Price's reaction to it) and calls Mr. Robot "Elliot", the camera pans back and it's Elliot. Visually it's subtle but in terms of a triumphant moment and how it can be when a certain emotional anchor is hit (Angela means nothing to Mr. Robot but Elliot would have reacted strongly to that comment)

Given it's the last real switch of the show (spare for the final moment) it's got an air of triumph about it that I appreciate. Given Elliot is MIA because he cannot face the pain of his recovered trauma memories it's cathartic to see him able to face the world again.

4.5/5

Honorary mentions:

Season 2, Episode 4 - In a flashback to Halloween, 7 months before the EvilCorp hacks, we see Elliot and Darlene watching the bougie massacre movie and Elliot shows off the Mr. Robot jacket and wears the mask that will become the symbol for FSociety. He clearly switches in this scene but a combination of the end of show twist, Malek's not really selling the physicality of Mr. Robot and the mask obfuscating his face/eyes makes it hard to tell who it is we are seeing. I am fairly confident that Pre-Show Elliot is fronting until the switch and then Mastermind Elliot is fronting afterwards but my first few watches of the show I thought Elliot became Mr. Robot.

Regardless it's done really well, the way that Elliot goes quiet and becomes mildly unresponsive before picking up steam. It's quite true to how interactions go, especially pre-discovery. "Hey, are you okay, you zoned out a bit there?" is a common refrain for those with CDDs. 4/5

Season 3, Episode 2 - Darlene wakes up in Elliot's apartment and plants a bug. Rami Malek catches her and interrogates her. The camera cuts in to Darlene and pulls back to show Slater. It was Mr. Robot the entire scene so it's not a switch. It's actually one of the only times the camera deceived the audience by showing the wrong actor without intentionally communicating we were seeing through a different perspective. I kinda don't like them doing that. 1/5

Season 3, Episode 6 - The glitch time loss sequences are playful and cute but not really what I'm reviewing or looking for here. 1/5. Though the shot of the Alderson system exiting the server room was pretty nice for cool factor.

Season 3, Episode 9 - The episode splices two days worth of events with Mr. Robot's story happening chronologically before Elliot's and so the switch happens at the end of the episode leading in to the start. That alone gets it big points but I mentioned above that I like how Slater plays switches as these exhausting slogs where he can barely hold on and is trying to hold on while looking like he's ready to collapse. He overplays it a little bit but in my experience the feeling of being unable to hang on anymore is like that Bilbo Baggins quote of being like too little butter spread thin over too much bread. I appreciate seeing an attempt to act out something I experience. 3/5

Season 4, Episode 7 - The entire episode is a stage play but both switches in the episode are just the other actor's voice off screen and the characters turning to look at that actor as both Malek and Slater are on "stage" the whole time until Elliot's trauma is unearthed and Mr. Robot can no longer protect him, in which he vanishes. S4E7 is the best episode of television I have ever seen but the switches are nothing to write home about 1/5.

Season 4, Episode 13 - I am not a fan of the finale for obvious reasons that I have spoke about at length in my media essays on the topic. I'll say that showing the Final Fusion as just a perspective shot and Darlene's expression was a nice touch. 2/5

-

Anyway. Thank you for letting me use Tumblr for its intended purposes of GIF sets and hyperfocused rambles about defunct TV shows that no one else is talking about. It is lovely to just scream into the void and pretend it is socializing.

[strawbubbysugar]

I really hope I don’t come off as rude asking this, I’m just not sure of the best way to ask it lol.

Was Moon built with Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Or basically I guess built neurodivergent? Was that on purpose when he was built, or was it an accident, or did something in his mind glitch when he became more sentient or something?

Because now his paranoia is so bad after the accident, poor guy. I feel so bad for Moon, he must feel so alone and like the world is against him. That would grind anybody’s spirit down :(

He has anxiety for sure, but he and his brother are both AI. learning, growing algorithms- which means that their neurodivergence is a result of their environment and how they grew up. Having so much pressure on your future would def lead to anxiety, and a generalized disorder formed over time!

[maaarine]

Getting past ‘it’s IBS’ (Xi Chen, Aeon, June 04 2024)

"In the late 1980s, aged 12, Taryn was taken to her doctor’s office with cramping, bloating, and constipation after eating, and was told that she had ‘a nervous stomach’.

As a white girl growing up in New Jersey, she met a stereotype, and when initial bloodwork and imaging was negative for evidence of a ‘real’, or organic disease in her gut, one of Taryn’s doctors began writing in her charts that she had irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), a misdiagnosis that would follow Taryn for life.

At the time, IBS was considered by many to be a medically unexplained and therefore controversial illness, keeping company with conditions such as fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome.

As a result, it carried the stigma of being a psychosomatic illness, caused primarily by stress and anxiety, and Taryn was sent home with prescriptions for diet and exercise. (…)

Today, unlike in the 1990s, it is well established that conditions like IBS, collectively known as disorders of gut-brain interaction (DGBIs), are real diseases that disrupt the communication between the nervous system of the brain and spine, and the nervous system of the intestines.

First mentioned in the book The Irritable Gut (1979) by the gastroenterologist W Grant Thompson, the conditions were labelled ‘functional’ disorders – characterised not by structural damage to the hardware of the gut, but by a glitch in its ‘software’, in other words, its nervous system, charged with processing, receiving or relaying information coming in or going out.

Software is not as easily observed as hardware, however, and much of academic medicine views the mind and the body as two separate and distinct entities, a viewpoint called mind-body dualism.

Over time, and despite the more nuanced meaning intended by Thompson, the term ‘functional’ became associated exclusively with disorders of the mind.

This is part of the reason why there is still stigma against conditions like IBS, and why attempts to establish diagnostic criteria for IBS in particular suffered from vagueness. (…)

When academics read that IBS patients have higher rates of anxiety and depression, or that antidepressants are a treatment for IBS, many assume that this is because psychiatric symptoms cause symptoms of IBS without considering the inverse, that chronic undiagnosed abdominal pain predisposes patients to having mood disorders.

The real reason these drugs are effective, however, is that, in utero, the precursor cells for our gut and our brain actually share the same nervous system, and only later separate in embryonic development.

As a result, the two nervous systems utilise the same neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, to send messages between neurons.

This is why we sometimes feel butterflies in our stomach when we’re nervous, and why stress and anxiety often worsen symptoms of IBS, but do not necessarily cause it.

As Brown’s quote above implies, the stereotype of the anxious patient in pain applies not only to IBS but all patients who present to clinics with vague abdominal distress (including those with non-gastrointestinal conditions like endometriosis, who experience delayed diagnosis because providers take women’s pain less seriously than men’s).

A classic example is peptic ulcer disease, a cause of severe abdominal pain that for decades was denounced as a psychosomatic illness until Barry Marshall and Robin Warren discovered in 1983 that it was caused by a species of bacteria.

Before their findings, peptic ulcers were managed with diet and, frequently, surgery, when what patients needed were antibiotics. (…)

In my opinion, the root of the problem is medical education itself.

Unless a medical trainee becomes a gastroenterologist, it is unlikely that they will receive any specialised education in IBS, let alone the history of IBS research proving it to be an organic condition, despite 40 per cent of the general population having functional gastrointestinal disorders.

Partly, this is because a majority of medical education in countries including the US, the UK and Canada takes place in academic centres associated with hospitals, where medical students will probably never encounter a patient for whom their IBS symptoms are the primary reason for them appearing in the emergency room, and especially not for their admission to the hospital itself.

As a consequence, medical students also don’t get their knowledge of IBS tested by board examinations.

This speaks to the fact that, echoing Osler, IBS generally doesn’t kill patients, and our current healthcare system values measures of mortality and cure in response to acute complaints more than quality of life and the management of suffering from chronic issues such as IBS.

The same could be said about long COVID (which, to this day, is sometimes challenged as illegitimate) and chronic fatigue syndrome, where sufferers are often sent off to a psychiatrist for care.

The thinking is that these ongoing problems, where there is no mainstream route for testing and treatment, are not as important for medical students to know about compared with, say, a patient crashing after a cardiac arrest, even though most of the global disease burden across the developed and the developing world is caused by chronic, not acute, illness. (…)

These demographic patterns don’t explain who really has the disease – they just reveal medical and social bias and entrenched stereotypes: women are perceived as hysterical and diagnosis-seeking, while men are stoic and avoidant, for instance; or white women are thought to tolerate less pain than people of colour.

None of this, in reality, is true – but it is part of the reason why so many patients assume that what they suffer from won’t be justified by the presence of organic disease and therefore doesn’t warrant a doctor’s visit in the first place.

Such patients, treated so poorly within the medical mainstream, now have a community and identity of their own in the Wild West of alternative medicine that flourishes online.

Such groups, seeking to empower themselves and especially hoping to get well, today stand at loggerheads with the practices and physicians they have left behind.

Some accuse their former doctors of gaslighting them, and they deserve to be heard.

Much of what I have discussed regarding misdiagnoses of IBS assumes that healthcare providers, even when in error, always have good intentions and are sincere about using the diagnosis to clarify the patient’s medical case.

There were several elements of Taryn’s story, however, and in my own experiences of how DGBIs are taught in medical school, that make it difficult for me to believe that this assumption holds in most doctor visits.

Although one could argue that the blasé diagnoses of IBS and disordered eating for Taryn could be down to simple carelessness and negligence, honest errors, or someone being ‘just a bad doctor’, it’s obvious to me that a pattern was developing with Taryn’s interactions with different providers who weren’t taking her lived experience itself seriously, just as I had stopped taking my own experiences seriously.

What holds our stories together, I believe, is this phenomenon where both of our perceptions of our own ability to know what’s true or not were put into question."

[not-a-puzzle]

There’s so many things about all types of OCD that’s just so genuinely frustrating and should be even from a non disordered perspective. The big thing is uncertainty.

Like with contamination OCD, there’s uncertainty in as to where the contamination might be, so we overcompensate. You can’t see bacteria with the naked eye. Or you don’t know maybe someone poisoned your drink when you turned your head around. The food could be soiled but you don’t taste it because you just can’t be you’re gonna get food poisoning anyway. . You just never know. You can’t fucking see germs but they’re fucking there anyway.

And guess what, the symptoms of anxiety make you feel sick too, so who knows what’s what until time passes but who knows now?

With checking OCD, you don’t know for certain and if you locked the door or turned your oven off or not and there’s no way of knowing until you go back home. Did you blow all the candles out. The memory becomes unreliable. It’s like when you compete and a ton the mind glitches and runs out of memory space. It just never feels like the action is completed so you never see certain you did.

With intrusive thoughts, how do you know you don’t want to to the gross nasty horrible thing that popped in your mind. It must be from some place in you to even think that.

See, it’s so exhaustiving. Why can’t things just be different so they aren’t this way?

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack Transcript - INTERVIEW - 41683

I've decided it's long past overdue to write up the transcript of the interview Jack has while in character back in 1983 when the SunnyTime Crew Show was at its peak in popularity. You can listen to this audio for yourself after playing through the demo of Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack, along with [Redacted]'s interview with the psyche consultant.

Disclaimer - I have auditory processing disorder, which makes it difficult for me to translate sounds into words, so please forgive any errors I might make. If I got something wrong, please do let me know so that I can correct it. Thank you.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

...

(A click of starting a tape playing. Audio starts a bit distorted then clears up.)

Dan: Alright. Now… I’m assuming that out of all of you listening today, some of you have to be parents, right? I’m sure quite a few of you have been tuned in to this new kids show - big hit, it’s everywhere. It’s inescapable, really. I’m of course talking about the SunnyTime Crew Show.

Dan: Now I have to admit, I don’t really know what all the fuss is, but… then again I am 36 and if I did, I’d… (awkward chuckle) I’d have bigger things to worry about. (chuckle)

Dan: But today we are making an exception. We have with us one Mr. Sunny Day Jack, who I am to believe is the… the leader? The front guy? For the mass acclaimed SunnyTime Crew. How you doing, Jack?

Jack: (cheerful) I’m great, Dan! Thanks for having me on the show. Glad to be here.

Dan: (enthusiastically) I can tell. For the folks at home, you can’t see this, but wow, this guy can smile! Look at that. Your dentist must be so proud!

Jack: (modest chuckle) Oh it’s nothing a simple and consistent brushing routine can’t do, but thank you! I do my best.

Dan: (more moderate tone) Of course you do, of course you do… Now. Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself, hmm? Tell me about Jack.

Jack: Well…, I’m sure that, as you said. I’m part of the SunnyTime Crew. I wouldn’t say I’m a leader or anything. We all just kind of do our own things, and… You know. We help the kids at home learn and talk about their feelings. There are a lot of ways to do that, and we run through them all with the kids, and… (soft laugh) Well, I mean, there’s not too much to say about it. I think it’s a very important job and I… I like it. I get to come into so many homes and be there for so many young viewers, and… Sometimes they really need it… and sometimes they don’t, but… the company is nice to have around… Yeah.

Dan: Right, right… If I’ve read up on this show correctly… you’ve all been burning hot and fast haven’t you? You know, what with all the toys and the lunchboxes and the… um… What was it? An ice show?

Jack: Oh! Uh, we’ll be doing a small live tour, nothing too big. We’ll be doing some singing, some book readings… really interacting with our fans. It’ll be a lot of fun! But if you want to know more, you can find out more information by calling in at-

(Audio glitches out and becomes incomprehensible for a second.)

Dan: Right, right, so… If you don’t mind me putting this out there… You’re kind of a celebrity, aren’t you?

Jack: (slightly awkward) I… guess you could say that. But really, we’re all-

Dan: Then we’ll put you through the same wringer as the rest of them. You’re a fine young man - plenty strong, plenty (grunting sound), you know? And you’re in there, right? Mom’s home, you’re taking care of the kids while she… you know - irons or cooks or whatever. Tell me. Do you ever get fans who are moms?

Jack: (slightly awkward) Well… sometimes. You could say that. (cheerful) And they’re really nice, just like the kids!

Dan: (sly) I’d put money on you being the crush of at least half of the housewives across America who tune in. You could do that, you know.

Jack: (awkward) I-I… guess. I wouldn’t really know.

(Awkward silence for a few seconds.)

Dan: (chuckle) Anyways… I believe… you’re on the show today with a mission?

Jack: Actually yes, Dan. I just wanted to come on and let the parents know that this weekend, me and my friends will be at the-

(Audio distortion glitches out the recording.)

Jack: -East of the-

(More audio distortion.)

Jack: -And you know, I’d love to meet and make as many new friends as possible. So, if you’d like to come down and say, “Hi,” we have balloons and games and activities!

Jack: Well, uh… actually we’ll be doing pictures and book signings too. We’re a local show, and it means a lot to have these opportunities. I just think it’s really great to be able to thank you all in person. As parents, your kids, we love teaching them and helping them grow… but when that TV turns off, it’s really is you who comes in and does the important work.

Dan: Aww… Isn’t that sweet? Unfortunately… (feigned surprised/disappointed gasp) Oh! Would you look at that? It seems like we’re out of time. But before you go though, I have to thank our sponsors and… One last question before we go, Jack. I’m asking on behalf of all the mothers out there. Ladies, thank me later.

Dan: Are you sure you aren’t… holding out on us at all? Like, come on! A guy your size has to have come from modeling or something. I’m putting it out there - there’s gotta be a picture of this guy in somebody’s charity calendar. I’m serious! Check your Mr. Junes, folks! Nobody gets this fit for themselves-

Jack: (curt) Alright. Thank you for having me, Dan. It was really… nice to be here. Um… Parents, we’ll see you this weekend. Remember, that’s at the-

(Audio distortion.)

Jack: -Mall, East of the-

(Audio distortion.)

Jack: -I’m really looking forward to it, and you should be too.

Jack: (cheerful, in character) This is Sunny Day Jack signing off, and wishing you a Sunnytime-tastic day-

(Voice distorts on the final words and fades out to static. The tape stops with a click. The beep of a TV with no signal plays before the audio ends.)

...

Additional Notes: A charity calendar are calendars made to raise funds for a particular local charity. The most well known and best selling charity calendars featured naked models posing provocatively for each month's image. These were one of the ways people could get their hands on pornographic imagery before the advent of the internet.

[silliest-fckindumbboy]

🪦Consider this blog a TW in & of itself🪦

🩸My coining blog is @fckindumbboy-coins Requests are always open!!!🩸

🫀This will be a mix of RQ & para stuff! Its my safe space! I will like & reblog what I choose!🫀

🪦Block/ ignore dont report, I'm just trying to find safe community & without that, so many of us are in danger!🪦

🩸If you arent harming anyone unwilling to be harmed, do it up, bby; pro-consent🩸

🦷 Im Jynx

🔪 The body is 26; Agefluid, multiage- mainly nepedage and traumatot, but I also sometimes linger around the body's age

🦷 Agender, transmasc, boycunt, periboy, offboy, bordergender

🔪 Polyromantic, hyperromantic

🦷 Polysensual, polarsensual, hypersensual [unless touch-repulsed due to fatigue, low energy, sensory overload, etc.]

🔪 Greyace, hypersexual

🦷 Ductuaffectis, Alteraffectis

🔪 It/he/pup/puppy/clown/honk/rot/ick/demon/rat; I may also use plural pronouns on occasion

🦷 Married, poly

🔪 Ask me anything about anything!

🪦My tags:

fckindumbboy - anything thats mine

boybarx - anytime I comment/post/talk about anything/share my opinions

shøwøff - my pictures

boycoins - coining/flags

Papa♡ - anything to do with my Papa or my relationship

boyIDs- my hoard/IDs or terms I like (reblogs only- not my OGs)🪦

🫀On sys: I'm [Jynx] the current host of a DID system~ Pls keep in mind that, due to the nature of plurality, I may post things or reblog things that I dont typically post, agree with, or that I forget later on. Some alters MAY make themselves known, they may not, thats up to them to decide not me.🫀

🪦Paras & Kinks: LOTS! Obsessed with everything abuse, gore, pain, blood, cannibalism, & death! 3/3, get over it, youre not the thought police. I sexualize & extort my own trauma & mental illness~ Theres wwwwaaaaayyyyyyy more! Consang🪦

🫀SickSickSick: DID, BPD, DPDR, schizoaffective bipolar type, OCD, agoraphobia, C-PTSD, substance use disorder [recovering & hating every second], BED w/ anorexic & bulimic tendencies, GAD/ panic disorder, PNES, mild TBI, CI

We got the 'tism

ICT survivor

I have so much trauma, & always happy to share & talk about it [for anyone!] (I'm cisharmed, cisgroomed, cisabused, cisICTsurvivor, cistortured, cisSA/CSA, cisraped.. etc.)

Chronically ill & physically disabled!🫀

🪦I AM a radqueer! Get outta here if you cant deal with that! Im super duper inclusive & believe everyone has a right to be themselves (even if I may not agree with them!) I have absolutely no room in my life, my heart, or my safe space for hate, drama, or discourse!!! Im also a [REDACTED]queer! I value privacy & non-disclosure of stances or other information, I think everyone has a right to discretion & safety within the community & elsewhere. My business is no one's business unless I say so- no one's business is my business unless they say so. All information, conversation, etc. with me is strictly confidential. I dont believe in call outs or other forms of non-consenual information disclosure. 🪦

🫀Identities: Transclownspecies, puppykin, trauma-born demon, irl yandere, transHoH/transDeaf, real vampire [hybrid- sang & psi], DemiDead, DemiRot, Traumatot, permapuppy, permadissociated, permalockdown, permasick, devotabled, translabrat, ratkin 🫀

🪦MUDs: Unhealthy Relation-Victim Disorder, Glitching Mind Disorder, Plural Dysphoric Disorder, Imminent Death Disorder, Temporal Perception Distortion Syndrome🪦

🩸I BLOCK FREELY🩸

Anons: ⚙️, ☀️, bitey, 🐶🎉, 🕯, :3, 🍇

[dontlookheswatching]

Okay! Ref sheet number one is done! This took like a entire DAY It was NOT supposed to take this long so I hope this is worth all that time😭

A version with scars are shown!

There’s also mentions of drugs and self harm, so please take this note as a TW. Some of the scars on the other version below the cut have a few visible self harm scars, so please beware if any of this stuff triggers you.

Ben Drowned

•Pansexual and goes by he/they(Demi Boy).

•5’0, perhaps one of the shortest adults you’ll ever meet. He’s 21, and his birthday is on April 23rd.

•His eyes don’t always bleed. Only when he’s upset, stressed, or crying. If he’s really upset, he’ll produce more tears that are black and taste like ink. •He has wings and tail feathers that support flight, although he doesn’t know how to fly. Both are due to the fact he’s supposed to be an angel, but due to Slenderman interfering, it never happened. He doesn’t clip his wings, so they’re huge, to where he has to use magic to hide them and his tail feathers.(My Ben is nothing related to BEN. I have very different stories and headcanons that make it impossible for me to intercept BEN into my version of Ben. The BEN Arg has nothing to do with my version of Ben is simpler words, as my Ben is my own revamped version of Benjamin Lawman.)

•One of the most likable creeps alongside Toby.

•He’s a femboy. I will not elaborate.

•He has several different aesthetics, two of his favorites being Scene and Grunge.

•He doesn’t celebrate his birthday, but others do. He doesn’t celebrate it for a few reasons; One being as a child his father never bothered to celebrate his birthday, least of all tell him “happy birthday”. This has led Ben to commonly forgetting his own birthday. Another reason is because it’s also the same day he died. He doesn’t mind if the other creeps celebrate his birthday, even if it’s kinda awkward for him, just as long as there’s no one celebrating his death. That’ll cause a fight in seconds.

•He’s in charge of anything that has to do with technology. If a creep has questions, or maybe some this isn’t working correctly, they go to Ben. Ben is also in charge of things such as security camera footage, hacking into government files, police records, and other stuff similar. He also provides creeps with information about their missions, specifically any details about a victim they might need to know, such as the victims address. •His voice constantly and randomly distorts and glitches, as well as his body. His voice will distort and glitch more when he’s having extreme emotions, and it sometimes gets to the point where no one can understand him except Jeff and other glitchpastas. Think Lolbit from FNAF as a example.

•He tends to float and levitate to seem taller.

•He’s Japanese American, and is fluent is Japanese. He can be found talking in Japanese when he forgets no one else really understands him, or when he’s scared, he might scream out something in Japanese.

•Despite being a entity that literally torments people into offing themselves and scaring them shitless he’s actually easily frightened. Creeps love to scare him because of this because he has a high pitched scream and he’ll start glitching out.

•He likes to paint his nails. He even sometimes lets Nina do his nails, but not too often, because she tends to give him acrylics, and everytime one breaks he almost cries.

•He’s a stoner. He used to smoke weed and do drugs when he was a teenager and in his super early 20’s, and it used to be a really big problem. He’s gotten better since then, and only allows himself to smoke weed if he’s stressed or having a awful day. He no longer does drugs. Another issue he had really bad was self harm. He hardly does that anymore either. He also has several mental disorders and other problems he struggles with, but I might cover that in a different post, or a possible ask if anyone decides to ask questions.

That’s all for the first ref sheet! The next one is for Jeff, and it’ll probably take just as long as this one did or maybe longer, because I’m still working on multiple things as I’m doing these, such as a relationship chart, and organizing my messy headcanons for these refs😭

[shadowsndaisies]

robin catching feelings

so someone sent me an ask but tumblr glitched and I can't find it but here's a little headcannon/my thought process on it:

ok so when does our birdboy realize??

already set that birdy had a small crush in ep 1 so what if robin did too? 

but what if he’s not fully aware until later, developing his feelings throughout all the things that are happening

but like more to come on the kernel of his crush from when they first met...

HERE'S WHY

chapter 6 (infiltrated)

Robin had some interesting feelings about wally and birdy’s kiss

Maybe he's not exactly sure why— just that it bothered him, and he kind of leaves the emoting alone for a bit. bc he does like her but mb he doesnt realize how much he likes her…. yet.

wally on the other hand notices the slightest hints of jealousy and will be supporting the information away for later

chapters 9 (bereft) and 11 (terrors)

so, in episode 9, they had the brain blast amnesia, and Kaldur got super sick. 

Robin was all jealous. Which is something he had to come to terms with it, especially because ain't no way Wally would let him go. 

So maybe wally presses on it a little bit and Robin gets defensive, so he decides to let it go… for now…

But after 11, when Robin and Birdy had their little moment on the sofa, he brings it up again because now he knows some things. 

That was when birdy did her reveal to him, so maybe he's like maybe… I…. am… into…. her...

also he called her beautiful… sooooo

so at this point homeboy knows he has a crush, but he's not exactly down bad

chapters 14 (revelations) & 15 (humanity)

so based off what was said just before, this is why 14 and 15 have such a big role. 14 gives us birdy’s big chance with Dr. fate. 

I mean the boys almost lost her, and that drives home for him because holy shit I could've lost her. 

so now he’s thinking about it…

he does not like the feeling he gets because he's lost plenty of people in his life already. 

And then in 15, right? Enter Z? It's common knowledge that zatanna’s pretty and she seems to have a little minor crush on him too 

because she's flirting with him, but maybe this is the distraction he needs because he doesn't want to fall for birdy. i mean look at B right? he doesn't have attachments bc they only end up in pain, and with all rob’s already lost he's not trying to make new ones.

which is why he's so dumb and flirts w zatanna— to keep his mind of birdy

which puts us at chapter 16 (failsafe) - when birdy reveals how she feels, outright and clearly

and his distraction tactic goes out the window bc fuck birdy is pretty and smart and tough and oh fuck. oh shit. this is more than just a crush

chapter 17 (disordered) 

his admission of being into her following therapy w dinah and his realization of not wanting to be batman. 

of wanting to be in her life, wanting to be a part of her life, actively.

of being there for her, there to catch her, whatever she needs

not wanting to be bruce- especially the isolation of it all

aka when we see birdboy is, in fact, down bad

from that point on we see his feelings grow

18 (secrets)

homeboy's got heart eyes watching ng stand up to the bat

19 (misplaced)

HUGE for their development bc birdy meets dick grayson for the first time

and he's out here showing the most secretive part of himself to her

21 (agendas)

our love birds go on a date (kinda) and they get to be yn and dick, and see how they do with each other over ng and robin, and it just reaffirms the feelings for both of them

everything tags: 

@butterfly-skinnylegend​​ 

dc taglist: 

@grey-water-colors​ @batarella​ @loninctzencarat​ ​​@escapenightmare

cnng taglist: 

@babymango-writes​​​​​​ @smile-more19​​​​​​ @bruiscdlikeviolets​​​​​ @truly-dionysus​​​​​​ @farfromjustordinary​​​​​ @sometimeseverythingsucks​​​​​ @dweeb-central​​​ @lucy-roo​​​​​ @casedoina​​​​​ @cipheress-to-k-pop​​​​​ @anonomano​​​​​ @seninjakitey​​​​​ @explodingwaffle789​​​​​ @whelmedparker @bigtimesexhaving​​​​​ @officiallydarkgeek​​​​​ @midnxghtblue​​​​​ @unini​​​​ ​ @blackwhiteandshadesofgradient​​​​​ @dontmesswithbeebo​​​​​ @raggedyoldwitch​​​​​ ​​​​​ @amans-te-amo @tinybeantm​​​​​​​​​​ @unicorn-mya​​​​​ @bouqet-of-gay​​​​​ @duckmylife18 @kendallambrosio​​​​​ @hanbetired​​​​ @torchbearerkyle​ @cynthiarose07​​ @lolsnacks​​​​ ​ @mono--moonchild @emo-space-tea​ @notsostraightweeb​ @cryingnotcrying​  @sassyspanishartist​ @ahyeonah​ @acceber1313​ @abuliawrites @onepieceformeplease @whatislifeandhowdoidoit @luvelyxp​ @lovelyartemisa @evermoore580 @mischiefmanaged71