#He just sucks!

[kuzann]

Reasons I have a hard time taking canon Vlad 100% seriously:

His nemesis is a freaking 14 year old this is self-explanatory

Keeps getting beaten/outsmarted by a gaggle of teens

Blew up his own house because he couldn't be bothered to do general maintenance on a piece of very valuable and potentially explosive lab equipment

Got bodied by Jack that one time and decided to never fight him again, Jack is canonically 1-0 in a direct 1v1 fight against Plasmius and that is too funny

Gets bodied by his own idiot schemes

Somehow couldn't figure out how to hire a hitman to take out the guy he's hated for years and sends the one thing Jack is supposed to be good at fighting to do the job instead. Are you trying to fail, Vlad?

Got eaten by a monster that one time. Embarrassing.

Did not do his homework when it came to how strong a ghost was at least twice and endangered the entire world and Ghost Zone because of this

In the bad timeline he caused the apocalypse because he is that bad at parenting and somehow didn't think to just send the kid to therapy and grief counseling instead of jumping straight to the mad scientist shit

There's probably more but these are the ones I can think of at the moment. Like he's absolutely done horrible things, no question about it, but then I remember the above and I'm just. All I can do is laugh.

[roninkairi]

You can only reblog this today.*

*PLEASE READ THE TAGS

[lilislegacy]

zeus: ok, you broke the pact. what’s done is done. just tell me which abilities you gave him, so at least i know what we’re dealing with

poseidon: ...all of them

zeus: ok but from which of your roles? sea god, stormbringer, or earthshaker?

poseidon: ...all of them

zeus:

zeus: you’re not serisouly telling me he has domain over air and land and the sea?

poseidon: er, actually, it’s not just the sea. any water, really. lakes, rivers, ice, plumbing,...potentially bodily fluids...

zeus: you- WHY DID- WHAT WERE YOU-

zeus: *takes a deep breath*

zeus: anything else?

poseidon: *looks at list*

poseidon: er, yes. he immediately heals when he touches water.

zeus: what?

poseidon: well, you know, i figured with all the danger he’ll face, potential child of the prophecy and all, he should be able to automatically regenerate

zeus: that- that’s not even a thing!

poseidon: well...it is now!

zeus:

poseidon:

zeus:

poseidon: he can also speak to horses

zeus: *throws lightning bolt at the wall*

[bixels]

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

[l-cereta]

i think honestly the craziest thing abt transmisogyny isn't like the active moments of hate but the complete unwillingness and uninterest in anything we have to say — this assumption that if a trans woman is talking it's not worth your time and you can just scroll past. and then you'll have fuck terfs in your bio like nothing happened! wild

[starwarjotta]

looking for someone on Tatooine

[frownyalfred]

things all the robins were ready for when they began crime fighting: guns, getting shot at, being held at gunpoint

what none of the robins were ready for: 220+ lbs of one Bruce Thomas Wayne jumping on top of them and shielding them whenever bullets start flying

[blondie-drawings]

Good lord this tomb is full of shitposts 😳😳 pt 1/pt 2

[nubinublado]

Welp

[raveartts]

gonna take a break and make another sketch page later :3

[starrystevie]

eddie’s going on a tinder date with a cute guy named steve.

he likes his freckles, brown eyes and cheeky grin. they don’t have much in common but the conversations they have in the app messages flows suspiciously easily. he’s a bit in love and antsy at the table as he watches the door anxiously for his date.

he sees person after person walk into the bar and his beer is dripping condensation onto his hand as he grips it, nerves shooting through the roof. eddie glances at the table and then back up to the door when a guy walks in and if eddie wasn’t waiting for his date, he’d want to go talk to him.

he’s cute, hot even, floppy brown hair and a charming grin, hands shoved into the pockets of his coat as he looks around the bar. his shirt clings to him in just the right way and his jeans fit him a bit too perfectly. eddie can’t help but stare and then the guy is staring back while he waves, ducking his head as he walks over.

“hey, eddie,” the man breathes out, his cheeks tinged pink from the wind. “sorry i'm late. parking was a bitch.”

and eddie’s confused. because this guy has brown eyes but not the ones he expected. freckles that are more spread out and distinct, trailing down to his neck instead of blanketing his face. his smile is perfect and he’s looking at eddie like he knows him. eddie’s a bit stunned, gaping at the guy with a slack jaw, because he’d remember someone as handsome as him if they’d met before.

“…hi?” he says like it's a question, taking a sip of his beer to do something with his hands.

he watches as the man’s eyebrows crease in confusion and the way his shirt stretches over his chest as he takes off his jacket. “it’s- i’m steve? you are eddie, right?”

eddie can feel his own eyebrows raising, wiping off his damp hand to fish his phone out of his pocket. he quickly finds steve’s profile, ignoring the messages they've sent each other over the past weeks that leave his stomach filled with butterflies, and pulls up the profile picture steve uploaded.

looking at it closely, he glances at who he thinks is steve, at the freckles dusting over his face and the toothy grin he's flashing at the camera. he's not exactly they type eddie usually goes for, but he's witty and sweet and knows about dnd, apparently, so what's not to love?

but then he looks at the other person in the picture that's slightly out of focused next to ‘steve’. looks at the two moles stark on the side of his neck, his pink tinted cheeks. the floopy brown hair and the pretty brown eyes and-

“steve?!” eddie exclaims, looking between the man in front of him and the picture on his phone. “you’re steve?”

the guy- steve- grins sheepishly, leaning on his elbows over the table to look at eddie’s eyes phone. he’s close, too close, close enough that eddie wants to-

“ohh,” he says and scratches at the back oh his head, eyes downturned with a blush trailing up his neck. “yeah, maybe i shouldn’t have used a group photo for a dating app.”

“so who did i think you were?”

their eyes meet and even in the dim bar light, eddie finds himself falling into the specks of green he sees. steve looks at the phone quickly then back up with a smirk. “my best friend, tommy. he’s kind of an asshole, though. you’re better off with me.”

“is that so?” eddie leans back, taking a sip of his beer, and really takes in his date that he now knows is steve. his toned arms, his broad shoulders, his pretty pink cheeks and pretty pink lips.

“what, are you disappointed?”

steve smiles gently and it lights up his face in a way eddie isn’t expecting. between the way he looks in a dingy bar and the way talking with steve is easier than any date he’s had before, he can’t imagine what disappointment he could ever possibly feel knowing that his date is who he is.

suddenly there’s a foot hooking around his ankle and it sends goosebumps tingling up his spine. steve’s smile softens just a bit and eddie can feel himself mirroring it back, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“i don’t think disappointed’s the right word.”

crossposted on twitter!

[obscureenthusiast]

-Brutus and as many as 60 co-conspirators, circa March 14th, 44 BC

[craske]

a small prediction, or speculation on where the story in beast yeast might go in the future, based on what weve seen in the story mode in the cookie lab

or, as one would say, fuck you unbeasts your jester

[ominouspuff]

No Man Left Behind / Something Worth Dying For

REQUESTS / BLOG EVENT

Request from @razzbberry - Palette #1 - Alpha-17, Cody - Death of the Cynic in Me

Notes and close-ups beneath the cut!

Notes: I think Seventeen would, both subconsciously and consciously, keep his cynicism as long as possible. It’s how he thinks the world works, but it’s also a survival tool. It’d be a very, very slow death.

It’s put to the test with Cody — not because Cody is special among his fellow clones, but because he’s one of the first that bothers to fight Seventeen on his own terms. The argument is always the same. Cody wants to talk about what he hopes to be, someday, after he is a soldier. Seventeen thinks he’s stupid to think that’s possible, or that he’d be capable. Cody knows it, and he, might not be. Seventeen thinks it’s even more stupid, in that case; what a waste of energy.

It develops. When they’re older, and in the thick of war, one day Cody risks his life for the chance to save a brother that was going to die anyway. Seventeen yells at him for fifteen minutes once he’s conscious about luck and stupidity and the trouble it’s causing Seventeen and the false hope it’s engendering in others. Cody says he can disagree all he likes, but he doesn’t give a fig, respectfully. Seventeen thinks Cody can go try to get blown up again, if he thinks so.

There’s no point fighting for a better tomorrow; they’re bought and paid for to fight for something else, FOR someone else. Seventeen is prepared for being fodder, as a result. He’s prepared for unfairness and the bleak life that they’re living. Instead he watches as Cody defeats odds time and time again, somehow managing to balance being an exceptional military leader with a secondary war to live for something more, running himself ragged and — inexplicably — gaining ground. Each of those little victories are a little death for Seventeen’s cynicism; a chipping away. A little seed of Cody’s brand of hope takes root, awkward and begrudging, fond and tentative.

Then Order 66 happens. Cody’s efforts for a better life are in vain, and Cody himself-

Cody may never know that Seventeen was right abut just how helpless they were. Now he only knows that Seventeen is a traitor, apparently, because Seventeen — for once in his life — was the lucky one and his chip malfunctioned.

And Seventeen could say ‘I told you so’. He could rest, vindicated and resigned, in the fact that every dream Cody built up and everything he thought was worth dying for is pointless, now — as he always suspected it would be.

But it isn’t fair, even by Seventeen’s standards.

“What are you doing,” Rex will rasp, caught in a strange role reversal as Seventeen paints an armor set with Cody’s golden colors. “He’s not coming back, Seventeen. He can’t. It’s pointless to keep going after him, you need to stop.”

“No,” Seventeen will answer, unbothered, “I don’t think I will.”

“We can’t — we can’t keep hoping,” Rex says, because he means he will probably have a breakdown if he imagines there is even a pitiful possibility he could save his brothers and then have to turn away from that scrappy chance for the greater good and Rebellion, and all that. “We’ve got to move on.”

“Go on.” Seventeen will invite sincerely, one brow raised because he knows Rex better than that.

“Do you want him to shoot you?” Rex will finally yell, all knotted up at the thought of losing Seventeen too, even though it’s funny because Seventeen was never kind to Rex.

“He can try,” Seventeen will say, touching up the last of the paint. He will stand, wiping his fingers, and pick up his pack. “See you when we get back, then.”

Alt version:

[jorrated]

fleetway sonic is soooooooo bad with being cared for, he wants to be the most special boy in the spotlight ever but if somebody gives him a genuine hug he will die

[rebornrosess]

happy hozier day to all those who celebrate