#Hire Mean Programmers

[precisiotech]

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[radioactive-worm-on-string]

WHY AM I ONLY INTERESTED IN ACADEMIC FIELDS THAT HAVE NO JOBS

[clangpan]

Or it's just that it's often artists that makes great memorable games, and most of them don't know the first thing about programming or game making, they just have a keyboard and a dream

[softwarefrim]

Hire Mean Stack Developer

At YES IT Labs, Hire Mean Stack Developers to build top-notch solutions that ensure reliability, user engagement, and excellent performance.

[jamiedc-they-them]

I heard you were taking Thunderbolts* requests? You can refuse there's absolutely no pressure!

What about Bucky with an adopted child, young adult? I don't really have a scenario, just some context that popped when I watched the movie yesterday :')

Like, Bucky can take care of himself, sure, but his child always makes sure he's not living on the bare minimum. During the happenings of the movie, they followed Bucky without his permission but ended up being useful in their own way (because Bucky taught them how to fight, of course).

I know it's a bit abstract, but I've always liked your blog, and the last request I gave you did not disappoint (probably a year ago or something), so I trust your brain can make up something wonderful!

(If you wanna get a little crazy, totally optional, you can make his child a mutant, with wings. Thought it could be funny :'D)

Own it (Platonic)

Summary: Being Bucky Barnes' adopted child comes with challenges. Challenges that boil over in ways that almost make you lose each other, both to your memories, and physically.

Requested by @len-psychofr

Warnings: Swearing, depression, self-hatred, violence, dead parents, Valentina.

Marvel Masterlist 1

Marvel Masterlist 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How was the party?" You asked, sitting curled near the window, eating some leftover takeout that Bucky had left out for you to have when you got back in from work.

This was actual work. Not hired gun work, not Black Widow work. Work-work. A job.

Mind you, it didn't exactly pay the bills.

Bucky did that. He was an elected official. You were happy for him, the pair of you making new names for yourselves after pasts you'd rather forget.

You, a shit mum who sold you to some research programme that Yelena Belova found you in. She wasn't in a great headspace, so she asked the Winter Soldier of all people to keep an eye on you.

Yelena had then disappeared, but Bucky had stayed.

A butterfly came through the window, landing on your finger.

"Met Valentina's assistant," he said as he shut the door behind him, "trying to scope me out."

"In what way?" you teased. You knew how people had a crush on Bucky. The way he made people swoon with the simple phrase of doll.

It was harmless...mostly.

He rolled his eyes, "you got a broken mind, kid. Sometimes wonder why I took you in if all you're gonna do is talk shit."

He meant it in a light-hearted way. It had the opposite effect.

You were good at hiding how things felt, though.

You laughed. He didn't read into it.

A proper dad would, you told yourself. Your brain told itself.

It told you a lot of things. Most of them are not nice.

Yet, here you stood still, with a man who was seemingly getting bored of you.

Bucky looked at you, waiting for the dishwasher to be done; you were looking at the butterfly still, smiling at it.

You didn’t get much of that in your youth, he guessed. Time to just slow down and appreciate your life and the life around you. Just survive constantly until the next day.

You heard his phone go. The butterfly flew away.

You finished your "meal" before clearing your throat, "your arm is done."

He nodded to you in thanks, pulling it from the dishwasher, the one he wore to the party being a dud.

You laid on your bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it. He didn't --

"You don't touch them," Bucky sneered into his phone.

You poked your head out of the doorway, "Kid may be 'weak' but they're my kid. You don't go after them."

Oh. That was...mixed.

He slammed the phone down, accidentally crushing it with his arm that he had just cleaned.

You left the room, clearing your throat, "Everything ok?"

He let out a sigh, before turning around, “Yeah…no,” he was honest, at least, growth, “how much of that did you hear?”

You shook your head, “not much,” you lied, “just decided to come out when the phone got…you know…”

He nodded, both of you deciding to believe the lie. This was something serious.

“Take it trying to impeach the bitch isn’t going well.”

“Language,” you rolled your eyes, “but, no. But, there may be a way to find some people who can help.”

“I can help,” you said, arm going up.

“And, how is that?”

“Because it’s who my mum sold me to.”

“What?!” Bucky was walking towards you. 

You took a step back. He paused.

“Sorry…” he sounded apologetic.

He isn’t, a voice said in your mind, he’s just like her.

You cleared your throat, “it’s ok.”

“This is serious, (your name).”

“I can help,” you promised.

Bucky saw it in your eyes, a look that was in his long ago - though it still lingered, the past never fully went away: Redemption.

A want to make it right.

He knew you’d just follow anyway.

“You’re a pain in my arse, you know that?”

“So I’ve gathered.”

You had an attitude today. He just put it up to age. He remembered being in his mid-teen years as well. Anti-authority and all that.

He once got called a communist for it.

He nodded, “But you do exactly as I say, ok?”

“Aye aye,” you said, giving him a mock salute.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He took you to the garage, where he had a bike. He even donned a new outfit, and shades for some reason.

“You look like a cliche biker,” you said, waiting for him.

“And you look like a hipster.”

You gawked at him.

He got on the bike, you got on behind him.

He held something to you: A helmet.

“Really?”

“Safety first.”

You parroted what he said as you put it on, making sure it was secure.

“Hold on, I ain’t obeying traffic laws.”

“Wow, you’re so cool,” you said, dryly.

He shook his head, with you behind him, meaning you missed the smile on his face.

You set off, tearing through the mean streets and only almost dying several thousand times due to not obeying the traffic laws.

You even got pulled over at one point:

“Do you know who I am?” Bucky asked.

“Senator Barnes,” the officer looked at you, “and here’s your little scrap.”

“Walk off,” you said, the cop obeying.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that you had powers? We’ll get more into them later.

“Thank you,” Bucky said, starting the journey again.

“Uh-huh,” you said, not biting.

You drove on, and you did enjoy this part about America, the amount of diverse landscapes there were. From concrete jungles to more empty areas with deserts all around.

“So, who are we chasing, exactly?”

“Some people like us: fuck ups. One of them is the same girl who gave you to me.”

“Yelena?” You asked, wanting to see the woman who saved your life.

“That’s the one. We also got John Walker –”

“Fuck up Captain America, right?”

He snorted at the name, “That’s the one.”

“And the last one?”

“Ava Starr, The Ghost.”

“Cool name.”

“You said that about my name.”

“Well, I was lying then; that, and you didn’t like it.”

He looked at you from the mirror on the bike, you were a kind soul. He always admired that. You were traumatised and sarcastic, but deeply kind to others.

Just not yourself.

You made it. He held out his hand, and you placed a grenade launcher into it. He fired it, and you both rode through the smoke.

You leant to the side, “you got a plan?” he asked.

“Trust me?” 

He nodded: of course, he did, he just sometimes wasn’t great at showing it.

You zoomed off, carrying some bombs with you. You placed each of them on the trucks. 

All but one went off –

“Oh for fu–”

He fired his launcher at it, it did the job – doubly so when the grenade you had planted went off as well.

“It’s alright,” he said, “you’ll get them next time.”

You won’t, he had to clean up for you.

“You wanna do this one?” Bucky asked, holding out the last one.

He still trusted you.

You hesitated before taking it and zooming off once again.

It worked. The limousine flipped.

You just hoped Yelena survived.

She did. They all had. Even her dad.

You had read up on her ages ago, Bucky had given you her files.

You wanted to know about the friend who saved you.

She didn’t look too different, sans the blue eyeliner.

“You did good,” Bucky said. He’d said it before, but this time he sounded different. 

He doesn’t believe it.

“I mean it.”

You just hummed, looking back at the group of misfits.

Bucky called you kind, your therapist called you someone who got attached too quickly.

Maybe it was why, as everyone started to wake up, you hugged Yelena.

What? You only had two friends.

“(Your name)?” she asked, blinking a few times.

“Hi,” you said, backing away.

She smiled, “it’s good to see you again. Even if the circumstances aren’t great. You did blow up our car.”

You smiled, looking from friend to friend.

You felt good. You felt worth something. Not discarded.

You had helped.

Even your brain didn’t retort to that.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That car was priceless,” her father said.

“Sorry…” you apologised.

“Never apologise, little America,” he said, “your technique was flawless.”

“Uh…”

“That’s Alexei,” Bucky said, “Yelena’s father.”

You waved, he nodded.

You listened to your father’s proposed plan: Impeach Valentina.

“That’s why you’ll go with (Your name) and –”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa –” You shot up, finger waving, “uh-uh.”

You had shifted back quickly.

Bucky sighed, turning back to you.

“So, I told you all that about where my mum sold me too and tell you this and the first thing you think about is impeaching Valentina?”

“She’s a threat.”

“So were - are - we!”

“So we are –”

“Don’t fucking correct me!” he flinched at your words. They had affected him.

“Don’t. Talk.” He didn’t open his mouth. Your powers had worked again.

“They care about this Bob dude, ok? Valentina hurt him. What was it you said to me once?”

He didn’t talk.

“Say it!” your voice had a deep rumble to it.

“That you don’t let those who can’t defend themselves get hurt.”

“Exactly,” you pointed at them, “we’re the best shot he’s got, ok? We go there, we find him and we stop Valentina.”

He agreed. Alexei cheered.

Your ragtag team was born.

You sat in the back of the van with Yelena, Ava and John. 

It was a battered truck, with small little holes in it. You looked out of one, seeing an old friend: The Butterfly from before.

“What’s the weirdo looking at?” John asked.

“Knock it off,” Ava warned.

“What is it?” Yelena asked, looking at you.

“It’s a butterfly,” you answered.

She turned, finding a hole to look out of with you.

“It’s very pretty.”

You smiled, “it’s a reminder of what we’re fighting for in this capitalistic hellscape of ours.”

“Sounds a bit commie to me.”

You spun round to John, “Why? You do know that like, not liking capitalism isn’t a hot fucking idea, right? You gonna go all-new Captain America, gonna crush my head in with your shield as well?”

“What, no. How do you even –”

“I live with Bucky, we’re friends. He told me.”

“What are you? Twelve?” 

“Seventeen.”

“Seventeen, and looking at butterflies still.”

“God forbid someone has a hobby, John.” Ava said.

“Look – all I’m saying is, you don’t like my helmet, but you don’t mind them looking at butterflies.”

“How are those two things related?”

“They – they aren’t. I just – I just want someone to like my helmet.”

You hated that you felt yourself tear up a small amount.

Yelena put a hand on your shoulder, “Ignore him.”

“No, it’s fine,” you said, rubbing your eyes, “I’m used to people like him. Besides, he’s right –”

“No,” both Ava and Yelena said.

“World we live in, we just fight to get ourselves through it, until we die,” you looked at him, eyes still glassy, “Thank you for reminding me of that.” You were sincere.

John loathed that you were sincere with your thanks. He didn’t mean to accidentally dig. From the look in your eyes, you didn’t mean to throw it so harshly back at him, either.

You’re not kind, you're nasty and cruel. You deserved what happened to you. You hurt him. Look, look at him. Damaged but not broken. Then there’s you, you cu–

“That’s – that’s not what I –” 

The truck smashed through the wall before he could finish.

You were brutal with your fighting: Just like you were told. 

Bucky and you even made a team.

Hell, you did with everyone: John launched you up with his shield, Yelena and you went back to back, you flung one person up and Ava appeared to slam them into the ground, and you threw someone at Alexei for him to hook. 

You made it up to Valentina after being invited.

“Oh, you,” she said, looking at you in disgust, “I thought I got rid of you a long time ago.”

“Oops.”

“You know,” Valentina said, walking towards you. Yelena took a step forward, Valentina didn’t clock her as she leant down close to you, “When your mother left you in my…care –”

“Don’t believe her, (your name),” John said.

Bucky went forward, but Alexei put a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head: Trust your child.

“She only asked that your name get changed. The rest of it could do what I wanted with you. She took the money and left.”

Ava went to use her ability.

“Uh-uh,” Valentina said, “look, whatever weird protection squad you’ve assembled here for little old (nickname), when - truthfully - I thought you were here for Bob, is all very cute and all. But, guys, let’s not forget here, I’m the one with all the cards on the table.”

She looked to Yelena, “You really do just pick up strays, don’t you,” she cocked her head to the side, “Bob, the little brother; (your name) the little sib. God, you learnt how to do that from Nat, didn’t you.”

Yelena pursed her lips at the words.

Valentina wasn’t digging her grave further, she was just digging the knife deeper into you all.

Bob appeared, in an outfit with his hair slicked back.

“I heard it all,” he proclaimed, “you’ve replaced me already.”

“Bob, no –” Yelena tried to dissuade her friend, but Valentina spoke before she could finish.

“They did, that’s right,” she said, putting a hand on his chest in what you hoped was meant to be a maternal gesture, “they’re criminals, Bob. It’s what they do: They lie, they cheat, they betray.”

You fought for your lives. You were the last one standing.

Bob picked you up by your throat. He looked to Yelena, “So this is who you’re replacing me with.”

“Bob, (brother), no. No, I didn’t –”

He looked at you, “I’ve seen that look before, that want to die. I can do that for you.”

“Let them run,” Valentina ordered.

You barely remembered getting outside. 

Yelena was tearing into everyone. You were out of your mind doing this, even attempting it.

She then turned to you, “and you…you deserve so much better, (your name). Better than us –”

“Hey –”

“No, Bucky, look,” Yelena pointed at you, “look at them. They’re a mess. They deserve stability.”

“I know!” Bucky lost control for a second. Yelena backed away. He put his hands up in an apology, taking a step back, “I know,” he said in a softer tone.

Bucky turned towards you, reaching an arm out, “What did he –”

“Fuck off.”

“Language,” the three males said.

“Don’t act all parental to me now Bucky, just because we got our arses kicked.”

“Where’s this coming from –”

“You,” you pushed him, “what was it, huh? ‘Sometimes wonder why I took you in if all you're gonna do is talk shit.’? Or, or was it ‘Kid may be 'weak'’?”

“I also said you don’t go after them.”

“Doesn’t matter,” you spat, “you agreed with her.”

“Who says that about their own child?!” Alexei was angered on your behalf.

“A tired dad who didn't mean it,” Bucky defended.

“Oh no,” you pointed a finger in his face, “you said it. Own it.” 

“Own it! You shouted, but this time you didn’t use your power.

“I did – I did say those things…and I can’t excuse them.”

There was a pause. Before:

“If I - if I can have a go.”

“Sure, John, join happy hour.”

“Oh, fuck you, Bucky,” John then softened his tone as he looked at you, “Look, I screwed up with my kid, alright? I was a lousy dad,” he waited to be made a punchline; when no one did, he continued, “I’d do anything to take it back. But, I’d burn the whole world down just to see my kid and wife again and try and pick up the pieces.

It might be too late for me, I don’t think it is for you guys.”

You and Bucky just looked at each other, unsure of what to say.

“Sometimes it is for some,” was what Yelena said, looking at Alexei before walking away. Alexei followed.

You looked to Ava, “So, what are you going to do now?” 

She let out a breath, “to be honest, I don’t entirely know. I guess, do what I’m best at: run.”

“You?” she asked.

You lifted your arms before letting them hit your sides. You were burnt out, at this point.

Why did you think you could do this? Help? Look at how that’s gone.

Screams, you heard screams next.

People were disappearing.

Someone was in the sky…Bob.

You moved without thinking. Instinct took over.

You helped zip someone out of the way. You were thanked. 

You were thanked a few more times, and someone even shook your hand when in relative safety.

Together, you all lifted a wall. 

You were cheered.

Maybe you weren’t complete fuck ups after all.

Yelena stood at the edge of darkness…she walked into it.

Alexei broke down.

You all took cover, John comforting Alexei as he wept.

You looked out at the darkness.

You felt a pull to it.

It was calling to you and –

A hand went on your shoulder. A metallic one.

“If you’re going into it to help her,” he said, “I’m going with you.”

You looked from him to Bob in the sky, to the darkness engulfing New York.

“I don’t fucking care for New York,” you said, starting to walk, “but I ain’t leaving Yelena to fend for herself.”

“We’re coming too,” Ava said.

“If there is even a chance that my Yelena is alive in there,” Alexei said, choked, “then I will fight with all I have.” 

So, as a united front, you ran into it…

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dad,” you called out, looking around.

You were alone in a void.

Then, you heard voices, “Just, change their name. Pull whatever strings you need,” your mother said to Valentina. You were shaking in the corner of a room.

“Done and done,” Valentina said, shaking her hand, “take her out.”

You learnt that she meant that in two ways when you saw your mother be escorted out, and then when you heard a gunshot ring out.

Valentina crouched by your younger self, “Now, what are we going to call you?”

Valentina, or your mind's version of…well, it wasn’t a warped version, but still, looked up at the real you: “You shouldn’t have made it. But, to be honest, I’m kind of glad you did. Bob would likely have been harder to turn on them if you weren’t here.”

You shut your eyes, trying not to well up.

“Oh,” Valentina cooed, “You gonna cry? Is your…protection squad not here to help you anymore?” 

“You’re not real…”

“Oh, honey, no I’m not. But, I must have fucked you up badly to even be here in the first place and talking to the real you. To be honest, I forgot you as soon as I left. Figured that the trash would just take itself out.

“Oh well, adjustments and all –”

“You grabbed her throat, slamming her into the wall.

“There it is. There they are. There’s the monster I wanted.”

“You’re not real.”

“We’ve established that.”

You took your hands off of her throat. You looked around. It was this void that was showing you this. 

You shut your eyes and took some deep breaths. 

You heard a flutter. Opening them, you saw the butterfly again.

It landed on your hand.

“Show me the way, buddy,” you whispered to it.

When it left your hand, the scene shifted.

You were in the apartment that you shared with Bucky, your home. The only place you have felt safe in.

Bucky rushed you, “You were the runt. You ruined me! All you had to do, was keep your mouth shut, and I wouldn’t have had to be re-elected!”

You were being choked on the table. 

Even without his metal arm, he was strong.

You could feel your vision fading when –

“Get. Off!” He was whacked across the room.

…Bucky? Appeared in your vision again.

“Hey. Hey, it’s me, buddy. It’s me,” he rushed out the words, helping you sit up as you caught your breath back.

“How the – how the hell are you here?” You coughed.

“Dad power.”

You chuckled, being down to only small coughs now, “You’re weird.”

“I’m also sorry,” he said, hand on your shoulder, “I didn’t mean for the broken mind comment to come across how it did.”

You waved it off, “No, I’m serious, (your name). It hurt you, it matters.”

You nodded, he meant it.

“Talk about it later? I promise.”

He nodded, he could do that.

You made your way to Bob and Yelena, helping them not get hit by the debris.

Yelena nodded to you, you nodded back.

She then took Bob’s hands, promising that they were there and made him take them to the darkest parts.

He did, he trusted you.

John punched his dad, not using his nickname of ‘Bobby’ anymore. 

Bucky punched the high version of Bob before you all moved through the cellar door.

There, you were in a lab. Yelena recognised it.

There he stood: The void. The part of Bob that internalised all the self-hatred.

It moved on you, pinning you all and splitting the ground to create more distance.

Bob declared himself not alone, running and tackling this part of him, throwing punches.

It wasn’t working. It was doing the opposite.

Yelena got out first, using her acrobatics to reach him. She didn’t do any fancy moves, she just hugged him.

John was next. 

Bucky looked at you, “You go, I’ll be right behind you. I promise.”

He pushed your rubble enough to let you get out.

You started running, about to zip when the ground shuddered and you stumbled. 

Ava grabbed you, “I’ve got you!” 

You zipped the pair of you to Bob, holding him in the hug.

“We have you,” you said. Given how he cried out, your voice and power had reached him.

Alexei and Bucky then joined, and together you pulled him out of his spiral and back to New York.

You and Yelena stayed with him. Yelena reached over, hand going into yours.

You squeezed.

Her newly found siblings were ok. 

Attached quickly? Sure, but sometimes love worked like that. She cared.

Alexei offered a hand, you took it and were hoisted up.

“I am glad you are ok, little American. Where is Big American?”

“Present,” Bucky said.

“Ah,” Alexei put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, then yours, “you seem to have mended your problem?”

You looked at each other, “we’re getting there.”

“Progress is good, my friends!” He cheered, bringing you both into a bone-crushing hug. You didn’t mind it, though, hugging him back.

“Now,” he put you both down, “what say you, we deal with Valentina?”

It didn’t work out like that. 

Instead, you now owned her.

The New Avengers were born.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were all broken people. Dented by the world and internalised it the wrong way. You knew that, but you couldn’t help when your brain spiralled.

You were all just existing after a mission, and you found yourself on the sofa, lying on it and looking at the ceiling.

You hated it, you thought after this journey you would be complete. Why weren’t you –

“Hey,” Yelena said as she crouched near you, “bad brain day?” 

You looked at her, nodding.

She smiled sympathetically, she kissed your head, “Silly brain.”

Bob entered the room, then, “Hey,” he was still unsure, but powered through, “I did most of the dishes,” you smiled at your friend, “but, I left some things…if you wanted to do them.”

Ah, so he knew.

You got up silently, walked over to your friend, and hugged him.

He hugged you back.

You nodded to each other, “proud of you,” you said to him, giving his arms a squeeze.

He squeezed back, “proud of you, too.”

It had been a mantra for you both.

You went to the kitchen, finding a few glasses left and Bucky’s arm.

You did the first few dishes fine, then found your way to the arm.

“Ah, was wondering where you were,” Bucky said, coming up to you and putting a hand on your back, “Yelena told me that today was a cloudy head day?” 

You nodded, not having the energy for words.

“That’s alright,” he assured. 

Then he looked at his arm, “You’re doing a great job.”

You hummed.

“You know,” he said, leaning against the counter, “when Yelena told me about keeping you, I wasn’t sure if I could do it. If I could be what you…needed.”

You looked to him, continuing your cleaning duties.

“But,” he continued, “I think…maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe I needed you. Something to fight for, rather than just an abstract concept of good. I was so scared I’d screw it up, and I have don’t get me wrong. 

“But…I’m never going to stop trying to be the parent you deserve. I’m even asking Alexei and - god help me - John.”

You silently chuckled. He smiled.

“I’m proud of you, on the good and bad days. I’m here for all of them.”

You held his arm to him. He picked it up and put it on.

He then kissed your hair.

You looked out the window.

You took in a breath. 

One day at a time.

[3rdgymbros]

━ 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐔𝐩 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 (𝐍𝐨, 𝐘𝐨𝐮)!

— pairing; itoshi sae x blue lock manager! reader  

— summary; in which you and sae argue over who should hang up first, and ego, very helpfully, settles the issue. set in the blue lock manager au.

— notes; please donate to my kofi if you like my work. and know that i am mentally smooching everyone who reblogs my stuff.

❋ You and Sae are oceans away; while he’s off living the glamorous football life in Spain, you’re back in Japan managing the chaos that is Blue Lock, which means that, more often than not, your relationship thrives on stolen moments and late-night phone calls.

❋ Sae’s schedule is hectic, and yours isn’t any better, but the two of you somehow manage to make it work.

❋ You usually call Sae during your break, when the boys are scattered about the field, guzzling water and catching their breaths after a gruelling training session. Now that everyone’s preoccupied, you quickly pull out your phone, beaming as you call Sae, who picks up after just one ring (he totally wasn’t waiting for your call or anything).

❋ You can hear the faint sound of bustling streets in the background as the two of you fall back into your usual rhythm, alternating between banter and soft exchanges.

“You sound tired.” “Blame Ego and the boys. It’s like herding cats over here.” “Who did what now?” “I miss you.” “When are you coming back?” “Are you eating well? Sleeping enough?”

❋ Your alarm beeps, reminding you that the break is over and you should technically be getting back to work, but you figure that the boys will survive on their own for a few more minutes.

“You hang up first.” “No, you hang up.” “I’m serious. You hang up.” “Stop being annoying and hang up.”

❋ Enter: Ego Jinpachi, the mastermind of Blue Lock, and your very exasperated boss, who regrets ever hiring you, even if your parents are funding the programme.

❋ He’s been silently watching as you waste precious training minutes in favour of your sappy teenage romance with Sae, and promptly decides that enough is enough.

❋ You don’t notice Ego approaching until he’s literally looming over you, a vein throbbing in his temple. Without missing a beat, Ego snatches the phone from your hands, his voice dryer than the Sahara. “Goodbye, Itoshi.” Then, with a swift press of the button, he ends the call.

❋ He hands your phone back to you while still maintaining eye contact with you. “There you go,” he says sarcastically, and you’re mortified as he stalks off without looking back.

[your-averagewriter]

Imagine the Spiderverse characters meeting Miguel's assistant

Including: Miles Morales, Gwen Stacy, Hobie Brown, Pavitr Prabhakar Miguel O'Hara, Peter B. Parker

Miles Morales - Miles is taken to meet Miguel and he was warned of his cold exterior but he wasn't warned about Miguel's assistant and her bubbly persona. You walk in and instantly his eyes are diverted from Miguel to you as you introduce yourself. You smile at the group and apologise for Miguel's bad mood as well as shaking Miles' hand upon meeting him and he swears he'll never wash that hand. Now he definitely wants to joining the Spider Society if he gets to see you everyday, after a while he comes back to see you asking you cute little questions and using bad pick up lines.

Gwen Stacy - Gwen also meets you when meeting with Miguel except it's not in his office, it's when she is 'enlisted' to the Spider Society. You saved her from the anomaly and whilst you did, she couldn't tear her eyes off of you and didn't snap out of it until Miguel was shouting at her to help. Afterwards, every time she saw Miguel, you'd be near (as his assistant) and she'd make up excuses to get to talk to you despite her awkward exterior. This includes 'bumping' into you when you go to lunch as she knows your schedule and checking with Miguel for the smallest of things.

Hobie Brown - You were actually the one who spoke to Hobie first at the Spider Society. Lots of people were put off by his 'extreme' exterior but you just thought he looked cool and naturally you wanted to tell him. Hobie was slightly confused by the small woman walking up to him and when you started complimenting his punk pins he was even more confused but also intrigued. He found out you liked similar music to him despite you're 'normal-looking' attire and he basically fell in love with you: the cute girl who liked punk music.

Pavitr Prabhakar - Pavitr was a relatively new Spiderman and was struggling to get to grips with certain skills so Miguel assigned you to helping him as you were of similar age. As soon as Pavitr saw you walk out from the portal in your Spider suit he was hooked and when he saw you take off your mask? He was even more hooked, sticking to your side throughout missions less for the safety aspect but more for the closeness and even after you've finished the short mentor programme with him he still hangs around you at the Spider Society not that you minded. You were perfectly happy having the puppy like boy following you around, keeping you company.

Miguel O'Hara - Miguel had a habit of scaring off every assistant assigned to him but that stopped entirely when you were hired. He expected you to be the same, nervous girl he always gets assigned but when you walked in you brought a couple of empanadas with you (not knowing his obsession with the food) which immediately gave him a good impression of you. After days of you working for him, his harsh stares became softer just for you and he understood the reactions you received from other Spider people that came to meet him. Afterall even he couldn't resist you're cute smile and friendly persona.

Peter B. Parker - When Peter met you he didn't know that you were Miguel's assistant but that probably only made him like you even more. You met when he bumped into you, after all he's not the most self aware of Spidermen. He was surprised to see such a unique Spiderperson as when everyone's wearing the same suit it's hard to stick out but you're kindness and friendliness really melted his heart. He, like Gwen, would make excuses to come and see you, his friendship with Miguel making it easier to come up with things. It's always "I need to show Miguel this new food from the canteen" or "I need to tell Miguel something I remembered about Miles" although he always means "I just wanna see (y/n)" and Miguel always knows.

-

AN: I thought I'd try this new format. If you guys would like more fanfics with this format then let me know as I really enjoyed writing this!

I hope you enjoyed reading!

[evilminji]

Okay, you know how City Spirits are a thing?

And Superheros both Die, Un-Die, Re-Die, Dimensionally Sorta Maybe Die But Then Don't, and also never Died in the first place? And probably do at least a portion of that in Medical? While ALSO hanging out, quantumly maybe Dead, maybe alive, in their Super Cool Clubhouse?

Which is ALSO exposed to space rays, the entirety of The Magic Club, weird alien Technology, aaaaand whatever they decide to store on it??

:T

I'm just SAYING...

For as long as dwellings Of Significance have existed, there have been house spirits. They are the IDEA of the house. The SIGNIFICANCE of it. What makes it HOME. The weight of the halls that turn into Halls. And The Watchtower? Is KNOWN to enough people, to have SIGNIFICANCE.

It's a HALL where Heros Live. A Place Of Safety. It GAURDS.

It is also inanimate. Steeped heavily in every sort of energy, be it magic or science, and multidimensional fuckery imaginable. But? Not SENTIENT. Yet.

Until of course... this new fangled Anti-Ghost Shield comes out. By the new and recently no-longer on the run (from the Goverment they're at war with) Dr.'s Fenton! Why were they are war? Don't worry about it!

They Won.

:)

Unrelated! Never threaten their kids. They WILL find you. Not a threat, just informing!

:) :)

The security guy they sent to the expo was from Gotham, unfortunately. So he found the couple to be completely normal. They? Should not have sent Thomas. He was hired BECAUSE his parents were Mad Scientists in the making. Batman was steering him away from a life of crime. Thomas could judge "normal" from "deeply unhinged" if it belly danced infront of him, in the seduction dance of a thousand, deep fried, mackerel.

It's his version of face blindness. Great with technology though! And the shield worked a treat. Even promised to be both ethical AND programmable! Not harming the ghosts it pushed out unless they try to force entry AND allowing them to program in exceptions. Allowing Heros such as Deadman to freely enter!

Is it a little janky looking? Yeah. But if it works, it works. They add it to the systems and flip it on.

One small and immediate problem. There is now a small knight shaped child in the engine room. She was NOT there a second ago. She has controlo of the ENTIRE Watchtower, claims to BE the Watchtower, and knows all their names. Knows a disturbing level of information about every employee on the Tower.

Oh and apparently "No one is leaving."

No one panic! Just unplug the... she has swallowed the ghost shielding unit into a wall. Slightly panic.

Panic lite.

Luckily, no one is willing to throw the first punch at what appears to be a small child. So the JLA Dark have a chance to literally run over.

They demand to know who's bright idea it was to add... "ectoplasm"? Was THAT the energy source? Oooh. Their departments probably in trouble. Later though, the hero's are trying to negotiate with a small child. Who is apparently a ghost.

It's not SAFE, she's insisting. Everyone has to stay HERE where she can protect them. From the nebulous threat of Bad Guys. They LEAVE and come back HURT. She is UPSET and everyone is going to STAY! Forever!

Not good.

Then Thomas pipes up, like the oblivious asshole he is, that he should PROBABLY call the engines makers. They did mention something a long these lines might happen.

WHAT.

You think, Thomas? Might be a good idea, maybe? Just a bit? YES FUCKING CALL THEM!

(All right, all right! No need to YELL! *ring ring* 'Ello? Maddie? Sorry to catch you at dinner-)

So now? There is a glowing college student, who was escorted here by a WEREWOLF, who just? Tore open reality? To some green, swirling hellscape? And popped through like "sup, sorry I'm late. Was in a council meeting!" And judging by the ficking CROWN and the various quietly panicking magic users, he probably didn't mean student council, and just?

Guess he's hear to talk to their newly sentient Tower.

Question! Asks Thomas, of the fucking Ghost King because of course he does, are they Dads now? Or if they already have kids, Dads AGAIN? Do they have to come up with a baby name?

.......oh dear lord, the Ghost King looks like he has to think about it.

What are we gonna tell our SPOUSES!? "Hey honey, guess what I got at work today! A NEW CHILD. They're a space station!"

@hdgnj @nerdpoe @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation

[ernmark]

I don't think I've ever talked about that one cursed job interview on here yet, so here goes:

Right around the time I was a fresh college grad, I was looking for jobs and scored an interview.

The problem is, this job looked sketchy. It was real, I checked-- but they wanted me to pack up and move out of state, to one of those technology campuses where your every need is met and they've got ping-pong tables and child-care and laundry facilities all on-site so you never have to leave.

And note the tech sector-- I graduated as an English major. They wanted me, newly minted, inexperienced college grad that I was, managing a team of programmers or what have you, for oodles of money plus moving expenses.

So right off the bat, this sounded like either:

a cult

a trafficking scheme

one of those jobs that promises the moon and then hires EVERYONE who applies because they're a human meat grinder intend to churn through them faster than they can be hired (note to young people following me: never work for Cutco)

Clearly this was bad. But also: oodles of money.

So I thought, hey, it can't hurt to just go to the interview. (It can. See possibility #2.)

The day before the interview, I was attending a Pagan Pride event in town to support a friend of mine. There was a silent auction, I put a minimum bid on pretty much everything that didn't have a bid already, and I won (among other things) a tarot reading.

I didn't have any Deep, Probing Questions, so I went ahead and asked about the next day's job interview.

Now, I don't remember exactly which deck it was, and because it wasn't the standard 72-card tarot deck I don't remember the exact cards drawn. But the Rider-Waite equivalent would be something like: The Tower, Ten of Swords, The Devil. Or, as was translated to me: "Run, don't look back, I mean it run faster".

Which could mean nothing, so I decided to go to the interview anyway.

My husband at the time needed the car, so I biked to the interview. I got almost the entire way there, too-- I was maybe a mile from the address when I somehow snapped the entire gear mechanism right off the bicycle.

I mean, this thing was broken-broken. The gears were dangling from the pedals. It was so badly mangled that even walking the bike from that point forward was nearly impossible. I had to call my mother-in-law to pick me up, and by the time she arrived, the interview was long past.

I didn't call to reschedule.

I figured the universe had just sent me two very clear indications that it Did Not Want me to attend this interview, after all, and I was in no hurry to see what a third warning was going to look like.

[weebsinstash]

Now Im interested on the "What if the 3 Vs passed Reader around like a blunt"

I kind of meant it in like a "what if you were some weird shared friend/pet" but I've seen people HC that the 3Vs are poly, although we've never seen any canon confirmation of this and on the Instas it was always Vox who was Val's explicit partner

Although to be nasty I feel like Velvette would be fucked up enough to watch Reader get railed by Val and Vox. Like in some party scenario where you're with all 3 in their house and Valentino dopes you up or something, she's just like, recording you getting spitroasted on her phone

I usually imagine these sorts of scenarios as Reader meeting Val and then slowly drawing the attention of the others, although Vox really has grown on me and I hope we see more of him these last two episodes. Anyways i'm starting to like the idea of Reader meeting Vox first. Like can you imagine you get hired on as a coder or a programmer or a product developer, and he's patrolling the facilities or checking in on a specific project and that's when you meet. He either notices the quality of your work or your manager brings it up to him, or there's some massive metaphorical fire you put out (like that woman who saved toy story 2 from being completely erased because she had all the files backed up, something like that)

You and Vox get to talking, getting along, having similar tastes. He starts giving you different projects, ones he thinks are better suited to your skills (and also put you in closer proximity to him). Fucking liar is arranging shit like company calendars or company events where there are photoshoots JUST so he has an excuse to pose with you for a photo. I mean, it makes sense right? Why would you question your boss wanting to take a celebratory photo at the release of a huge product launch? And you're happy and feeling so respected and successful and being friendlier with him the more you settle into Hell and feel safer, and then I imagine Vox's way of being "obvious" is that he's like, easily nervous or a nervous laugher , I dunno. It's all preference but I like yandere/antagonists who keep their cool a little bit but then it's also cute when they fawn over you 🥰 like the people who know him see the way he laughs around you and they Instantly Know

But then, maybe Val is perceptive enough to notice, "hey why does my man keep taking photos with this one specific person". Like maybe Vox is trying to be slick with it and all the photos are group shots but Val notices that every single photo has you in it and some of the photos are for really minor events he knows Vox wouldn't normally care about. Vox slips up one day when you and him are "sharing a car to go to a company event" which totally isn't like a catered dinner that there are only going to be SO many people at, TOTALLY NOT an incognito date that you're complerely unaware of the intentions behind, and Vox has to stop in back home to grab something, or you get pulled inside for a moment just to wait, he's gotta grab a laptop or a flash drive and, suddenly here's Velvette, "Vox I'm borrowing your nerdy employee, I'm short someone and I need a model for something" and you're getting dragged away

Vox is freaking out thinking you got swiped by Val and he's zipping through the electrical lines in the house (the electro-teleportation shit really is SUCH a game changer), and he finds you trying on things with Velvette, "oh my gosh I've never worn something this nice before, thank you for giving me the opportunity to try it on ^^" and Velvette is so pompous that any praise goes right to her head, and now Vox gets to see you all styled in... whatever. Velvette waves a finger, "now you two match!" as she puts you in an outfit with Vox's aesthetic and color scheme, and she's doing it to tease the both of you but she IMMEDIATELY notices "oh hey Vox what's that look on your face >:3c does someone have a crush?"

SHE would be the fucking gossip who would tell Val honestly. Actually new headcanon lmao: the Vs rarely want to share you but will rat each other out for "having you" in a heart beat. Velvette and Vox hide you from Val, but any of them will gladly steal you from the other lmao. God, a yandere Vox who's lucid and tryna keep his behaviors under wraps, keep it to pictures, stalking and looking from afar, and then you have the other two Vs like SHOVING YOU at him as like, a joke to watch him squirm and blush. They'd be randomly bringing you along just to tease him and watch him sweat. Valentino hits Vox up for a date or a night out and the tv demon shows up and you're there too lmao

I feel like these three are the worst because they all have the capacity to be obsessed with your appearance. Velvette is an influencer, Vox is a TV mogul and tech CEO, and Valentino... obviously we don't need to comment on his penchant for having arm candy. All of them are obsessed with their appearance and their brand and one of them is literally a tailor with magical clothes changing powers. You could have something like the other two Vs show up while you're serving Val drinks and Velvette cocks her brow, "hey, why doesn't this one have a proper uniform?" And she just starts zapping you into different varying levels of exposed outfits that match the other employees at the strip club and Val's aesthetic just for kicks as the big man himself oogles you like a pervert and his boyfriend is pretending he's not interested but, his screen is totally turning red

Tbh I'm suddenly thinking of like, imagine thinking "your body is safe" because Val has never come onto you and, you aren't sleeping with anyone and, you get upset one night and do some self harming behaviors. Velvette or Valentino comes and demands you try something on or you get nonconsensually zapped into something and there are cuts hidden on your body. Velvette is furious because this affects how you look in her clothes and what she can dress you up in, Vox is you know concerned because idk I imagine he knows what it's like to be horribly insecure and feel like you aren't good enough, and Valentino probably loves having you constantly half naked and the self harm scabs? Not hot, babe. Obviously they're all upset over you hurting yourself but, these are occasional feelings on top of that

Ugh I dunno just. They all have power and influence and money and they're all crazy and I'm over here kicking my feet and twirling my hair with thoughts of being objectified in allllll the fun ways

[red-room-studi0]

Here's my TurboTime Dev oc

About damn time I actually introduced him, for some reason I had zero motivation to post this guy. But now i'm finally showing him off cuz one, I needed too, and two he's gonna be in another au lol.

SO. Me and my two friends @dani-be-existing @sunn-e-bunare made this au called Deadstock about three game developers that are in a Poly relationship (we call it a polycule lol). And they go through absolute hell (who would've guessed).

So Tucker Tatum is one of the two game Devs of TurboTime, The other Dev being Kensuke ←(link to Ken's character intro). He is a fucking idiot and a loser, Think of Grunkle Stan and Turbo in one person but worse. Yeah, that's Tucker.

Bro has some bad anger issues and hates kids. Which sucks for him cuz Ken and his wife have a kid and they both hate each other (Ain't no way this grown ass man has beef with a 9 year old 😭😭😭).

Tucker is the Game coder/programmer while Ken was the pixel art and visual game designer.

Tucker being the loser he is he vents in his game coding (Uh Oh, shouldn't have done that Tucker).

One day Tucker and Ken got into a heated argument and then Tucker just left the room leaving Ken alone. After left the house and grabbed a couple of beers to calm his nerves, Tucker came back to the house and into the room to apologize and share a drink or two but to his horror all he sees is the games cabinet screen shattered and covered in blood. From what it seems like... Ken was forcefully pulled into the screen from some unknown force.

Even worse, Kens wife Haru walks into the scene only seeing the bloody shattered screen and Tucker by it. Of course, she accuses Tucker of killing her husband and is incredibly upset (I mean who wouldn't). Tucker tried to explain but she had already called the cops and she just wouldn't let Tucker talk.

Tucker had been detained and taken in. The court statements came in and he was found not guilty due to no evidence that Tucker had killed Ken. But he did have to serve some time in jail for not paying his past due payments (classic Tucker).

Tucker attempted to to call Haru with the only call time he had to try and explain things to her but she never answered. So instead Tucker called his next door neighbor and asked her to bail him out. She doesn't like Tucker all that much but Tucker was being an annoying little shit pleading to be bailed out and she finally agreed. But Tucker owed her $200 back.

Tucker somehow got hired to work at a car dealership (that mostly sells trucks) and had to make that money quick (She would not leave him alone till she got paid back).

As for the Cabinet that is covered in blood with the screen shattered and is evidence to try and figure out what happed to ken... Tucker took it (he's living with his neighbor now cuz his home is a literal crime scene), cleaned the blood, fixed the screen and thought it would be a GOOD IDEA TO STILL SELL THE GAME CUZ HE'S SO FUCKING STUPID HE LITERALLY TAMPERD WITH EXTREMELY IMPORTANT EVIDENCE AND SOLD IT TO LITWAK (LITWAK HAS NO IDEA MIND U)

The police found out that the Cabinet was gone and they have no idea where Tucker is living so they wouldn't be able to find him with no clues of his whereabouts and have no idea where the cabinet is. (They stopped to care at this point cuz they're lazy and stupid)

So the case went cold after a while and Tucker just decided to live the rest of his life with his neighbor (cuz he's not risking living inside his own home again in case someone brings the case up again, and trauma. Also he had to pay rent at this point or his neighbor will kick his ass.)

There is more to the story but I'll leave that for later or if Dani or Sunny wanna talk more about it.

[jankenshouta]

i just had the best conversation of my entire life related to fandom. plus, i found out my friend is pro-ship :]

long text incoming...

it all started with me posting some statuses on WhatsApp about hating how internet is nowadays, i mean like, harassment becoming something more common and watering down serious issues too (like for example calling someone a PDF or using terms such as Cheese Pizza or 'grape'). a friend of mine, one of my closest friends, replied saying they 100% agree with me. especially with the part about watering down serious terms.

yes, we both understand that youtubers often use these words to not get demonetized but... come on? what happened to censor the words with 'bleep' or just muting them while editing? plus my friend said people might use these terms to not trigger other people but... surprise surprise, triggering is necessary. in a mean like, people NEED to get terms like "murder" and "rape" relate to SERIOUS crimes that can hurt/kill people, and terms like "unalive" or "🍇" takes off all the weight of the word. you get what i mean?

then, we went on talking about a (nice) video i saw, about... Roblox, surprisingly. it was like a 15-minute-video edited on kinemaster about problems that aren't very discussed in the Roblox community, those problems being the SKINS. in a mening of, have you ever noticed how people on Roblox have been accused of crimes like pedophilia just because of their skin? often a furry avatar or a revealing (or not) feminine avatar? i find it funny how they get pissed about furry/feminine skins but don't say SHIT about masculine skins revealing their whole chest? kind of remembers me of something called misogyny (or not, feel free to correct me).

(note: i think i made it look like the guy in the video was saying furry skins equal pedophiles but NO, he's complaining exactly about these people who accuse others of crimes over skins.)

he also talked about a youtuber who made a Roblox/Discord bot that banned anyone who seemed like a "predator" to it. said tuber wasn't even a programmer. he used ChatGPT instead of, I don't know, hiring a professional programmer? surprise surprise, the bot obviously didn't work and was banned. it can't really determine who and who isn't a predator just by the skin. a bot won't analyze the situation, either it'll respond with YES or NO, either 0 or 1. i'm not a IT expert but i think everyone knows that.

anyways, it's a nice video, i highly recommend taking a look if you understand/speak portuguese (since it was the video's language). only issue is that he used the term PDF but again, YouTube demonetization thing ig.

then it went to shipping discourse because, yeah it is related a lot with this false accusation things and... i really like to talk about fandom with my friends. i was really afraid i was going to sound like an aluminum hat theorist to my friend but they loved hearing it.

i said the whole proship/antiship thing, not citating the terms. i said how i feel this whole thing of crucifying people over fiction had became a lot more popular during 2020 because of the pandemic. we couldn't really go anywhere so we spent our time in the internet, especially in short video apps like TikTok. more people began engaging in fandom, but it was people who didn't know fandom etiquette, who didn't really know how it worked.

BUT i think all of this was popularized in 2020, because afaik it started around 2016-2017 in Twitter/Tumblr in the Voltron fandom? I don't know nothing about this media but i think it was because of Klance and Sheith. instead of ignoring the ship they didn't like, a bunch of shippers just began parroting shit like "if you like that ship then you're a pedo! you're a criminal" then it all went downhill.

my friend agreed with all of that, like every sane person would i think. we also talked about liking problematic characters, citating Purple Guy (FNAF), Jimmy (Mouthwashing) and Funny Valentine (JJBA) as examples. we've noticed many people love William Afton despite being a child murderer. but the moment people like a problematic character who committed a SEXUAL crime, like Jimmy (raped Anya) or Funny Valentine (afaik tried to SA Lucy Steel who was 14) then you're worse than any criminal in this whole word. see what i mean? it just doesn't make sense :/

and this like, coming from me and my friend. neither of us like those three characters we mentioned, but it's still stupid to judge, or even worse, send threats to someone over... characters. pixels on a screen.

about shipping, i'm so happy my friend accepted it normally. i was afraid but said anyway that one of my first ships was literally brother/brother (Shun/Ikki from Saint Seiya) and they said it's okay! liking a ship doesn't mean you enjoy it in real life. my friend themselves said they see a problematic ship as a guilty pleasure, but it doesn't mean they support it. that's just common sense.

we also talked about lolisho. while i'm a shotacon (i haven't mentioned it to them), my friend doesn't like lolisho. but we both agreed that judging people who like is... weird. why don't you just block? we also agreed that it's weird to send lolisho art to the police is TERRIBLE. because... no, naked Ciel Phantomhive drawn in Clip Studio Paint is not endangering any kid. no, Hayato Kawajiri receiving backshots is not endangering anyone either. in fact, it doesn't help in any way, it just makes the police's work harder and it just makes it harder to help ACTUAL victims of CSA/CSEM/CSAM.

it's really shocking people care more about 2D dolls. now for example the dark web that must be like TONS of this illegal content? no one gives a fuck huh. now saying this too: if you're able to, please donate to organizations that help/save children from those terrible crimes. "Oh, but what if I can't donate?" i can't donate either, i'm not 100% financially independent yet. but i really recommend to share about these organizations, such as links or posts. of course, check if they are veridical first. not only organizations related to help children, but to help people in general.

lastly, we talked about fujoshi and yaoi. i find very weird that people just... hate yaoi and fujoshis because according to anti-fujoshis, they "fetishize" queer people. bruh. i think a fetish would be like, wanting to see gay dudes just fucking and nothing else. i don't really think fujoshis fetishize gay men, you know? also, literally most fujoshis i've seen are queer??? i'm literally an asexual woman yet i like to draw/read yaoi? i love to read and draw JotaKak, but seeing two guys (or just any couple, gay, straight, etc) fucking in front of me would make me vomit because i DON'T like to see real people fucking. it's gross to me!

also, do anti-fujoshis know how did the term fujoshi originate? yes, it originated from misogynistic men who didn't like to see women in fandoms. fujoshis just adopted the term (similar to the JJBA fandom with the term jojofag). i really wish anti-fujoshis knew better about the whole situation.

and that was all. it was a very fun conversation, and i'm very glad to know my friend is pro-ship. again i didn't cite the term to them at any moment, but they are anti-harassment and agree that fiction ≠ reality. we both agree too that this will someday slowly dissipate and that internet will become what it was before 2016. like ship and let ship. hearing I Ship It (that one parody of 'I Love It' by Icona Pop). we're a minority for now but i'm very sure this will change :]

i love my friends.

[askagamedev]

Is Gameplay Programmer some form of specialization? I always see people who work as gameplay programmer have some secondary skill, like tools, graphics, etc. In order to create a game you need these guys, but when it comes to layoffs, are they considered high-priority?

Yes, Gameplay Programmer is a specialization. Gameplay Programmers are the engineers who work directly with designers to make the designs actually work in game. This primarily means writing code to make the systems and rules that the designers come up with work.

Gameplay programmer goals tend to be building systems that allow designers to create new content. This often involves building and supporting tools to allow the designers to create, edit, and tune many different individual instances of a specific kind of content - abilities, spells, items, enemies, quests, etc. Thus, a gameplay programmer might build an item editor that would allow an item designer to create many different items. This can scale up to enormous core gameplay-driving systems, like Shadow of Mordor's famous Nemesis system, Prince of Persia's Time Rewind system, or Street Fighter's combat.

Gameplay programmers are not particularly high priority when it comes to layoffs. Engineers tend to be more expensive and marginally more difficult to hire and vet than other fields like QA or production, but gameplay engineers are absolutely not the kind of unicorns like technical artists, engine programmers, graphics programmers, and the like. There's always a need for senior gameplay programmers when it comes to standing a game up at all, but you only need as many gameplay engineers support the designers to build the content that production has scoped.

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[injuries-in-dust]

My Amazing Digital Circus theory of the people who became the characters:

All of them work at this C&A company (logo seen in episode 1)

Kinger: Programmer. Worked on the digital circus, perhaps he was even head programmer. He entered the game to do some final debugging. Most likely some tweeks to the AI and hopefully fix the issues with collisions we saw in episode 2. Brought his wife along to see the wonderful game he had been working on.

Ragatha: I feel she worked in HR. She likes everyone to get along, tries to de-escalate situations, and tries does her best not to be a bother to others. However she can bring down discipline when he has to (like tying up Jax in episode 3). I think she was put into the game by force. Someone put a headset onto her, to get her out of the way, after she was going to go to the authorities to stop the company, basically, torturing people trapped with the game.

Jax: I buy into the fan-theory that Jax is a rogue NPC within the game.

But if he isn't, then he's an unpaid intern. He either put the head set on willingly, thinking he could get to play this game for free and before its release to the public, or he was ordered to put it on to be a beta-tester. (why pay for a play test, when you can just get the intern to do it.)

He may not even be fully aware of why he's mean to everyone, and I'm sure he thinks he has reasons; "none of it matters, it's not like the NPC's in the games are real." or perhaps, "It's not like we can die or anything."

Honestly I think it comes down to, after who knows how long of being the office gopher and paying for the bosses coffee order with his own money (no reimbursement), he just started out by getting major catharsis against the other company workers.

But he's enjoying doing that way too much, and the fact that there are no lasting physical consequencesto his actions is leading him down a very slippery slope toward becoming a sociopath, maybe a psychopath.

Gangle: Worked on art and design. We've seen Gangle likes to draw and sketch and that may mean they created concept art, or digital designs for some, or all, of the named NPC's within the game , from Gummygoo, to Martha Mildenhall.

I think she also has depression symbolised by how their main body is a big loop of ribbon (empty inside). They've learned to hide it (or mask it) behind fake smiles and insincere laughter.

I also think art is both their hobby and a kind of their therapy, helping them just pour all their feelings out through their creativity.

They do feel joy at times, especially when it's quiet and no one is putting any demands on her, and just let her do her own thing. Episode 3 is evidence of that, where she was happy to be with the group, not necessarily taking part in their activity but enjoying being there and doing her own thing. Namely, sketching.

Zooble: They're non-binary and has issues with dysmophia, or dysphoria.

The reason they ended up in the game is the same as Jax, it was cheaper to get them to play test than hire a play tester. But I think Zoople is an actual paid employee, not an unpaid intern.

The vibe I get with Zooble is "freshly graduated from college and this is their first job." They're young enough that they're still figuring themselves out, which doesn't always mean young, but it more often found in people under 30. However they have a certain level of maturity to them. They set up Kaufmo's funeral, and spoke at it, despite how uncomforatable they can feel discussing their feelings.

Pomni: Whoever is in charge at this C&A company, Pomni worked alongside them. Maybe a business partner, I think more of a PA.

Their clothes are telling; a Jester. Jesters would work for a monarch and entertain their guests, just as a PA would work for the company boss and would handle people that the boss didn't want to talk to. The privilage of being the PA to the company boss would give Pomni more leeway to talk freely without risk of being punished. Just as a jester had that privilege within the royal court.

I'm trying to hint that Pomni may have been the one to pass down the orders that put Jax and Zooble in the game. I don't know if I'm saying it well enough.

Two lines in episode 3 stuck out to me, after Pomni is in hell.

"How's your wife, Kinger?"

Did Caine program that into the game? Did he get that specific insult ready in case Kinger accompanied Zooble into the scary path of the game?

Or did the evil-souls pull the knowledge our of Pomni's head? Because Pomni observed these events on the outside.

Caine did say that any torture is accidental on his part.

The second line: "I knew it would turn out like this... he just wants to torture me."

Was she talking about Caine? I don't think so. I think she was talking about her boss.

For resons currently unknown he forced her to put on the headset, but she knew what would happen if she did; she would lose most of her memories and be forced to play the games until she went nuts. Would her boss listen? No. Her conclusion, whatever reason he gave to get her into the game was a lie and it was just to torture her.

[meatball-headache]

Occult Crescent is great, but the story feels like an afterthought. I mean... there's no "story," there's backstory. Lore. And I always think the same thing: so, are they finally revealing the secret history of Mhach, Amdapor, and Skalla? Or are they just making it up just for this content? See also: FFX-2.

It took me a long time to realize, but one time I had a friend who pointed out... I don't know exactly how it came about, but we were watching a movie, and she was psychoanalyzing all the characters. The movie was Kung Fu Hustle. It's not exactly about the characters, it's just wacky hijinks... or, maybe it is about the characters; the people make the story. Otherwise all you have is an encyclopedia, a map, a list of names and dates.

Bozja was fantastic. Right from the gecko it had a slew of characters and a great story with the requisite drama and plot twists and such. Also, someone in shout pointed out, the Bozja field records had a lot more text in them. Crescent's are very very short. And, there's a lot less characters to talk about. We don't even have an antagonist beyond the mysterious architect—what do you think? It's either the Archive (boring and predictable and the same as Arcadion, I bet), or an Ascian (boring and predictable and a deus ex machina), or someone we've never heard of (boring and predictable because who are you even?)

Crescent definitely wins in the aesthetics department, even though it is a rehash of environments we've seen before, Bozja was a bleak battlefield—sure, it's a battlefield, it's going to be bleak, but the Ghimlyt Dark, the Nadaam, these are battlefields too and they have some color and style to them. But Crescent is pretty and varied, you got your swamps, your ancient temple, your evil city, your caves, your weird bubbles in the sky. And I'm motivated by the grind; I want all the jobs, maxed out, I want all the armor, I want all the relic weapons... It just kinda sucks running this content thinking, "Well, just pretend the story isn't there." In Bozja we were toe-to-toe with the Empire, and we had named antagonists that we met in the battlefield and in cutscenes, and in Eureka we had the mystery of the Isle of Val—which, though we never went there, Minfilia mentioned it often enough that we knew it, and when Eureka turned out to be it, it was a "Whoa, no way!" rather than a "...where?" moment.

FFXIV tried to play it safe with the story. We're constantly fighting the Empire, so they could say a lot about imperialism and whatnot, but they pull their punches and stop at "bad guys are bad." And outside of the main story... they kinda just phone it in. I mean, the holiday "events" are insipid garbage, one quest that takes ten minutes and then you're done. Bring back the FATE grinds! Have you seen LOTRO's holiday events? It lasts for like four weeks and you have daily quests, a daily quest to do a certain amount of daily quests, and another quest to do that quest a bunch of times. It tells you up front something like, "You'll need to do all the quests for 12 days to complete everything, so plan ahead!" Meanwhile FFXIV wants me to hand out fliers to personalitiless children and then get a hat that doesn't display on my character, if we're lucky, but probably just a poster and a table decoration that I won't use because spacing in my house is limited.

And yet... I'll keep playing this game, of course. I've been here for a long time, and there's a lot to love. But it's starting to show its cracks and frustrate me. The bigger it is, the more responsibility it has—the game's getting bigger, raking in more money, so hire a programmer to do Viera hats! Hire another writer to really flesh out the field notes! Hire another another writer to give this marquee long-term content an actual story with characters and a plot!

...that said, the battle content is nothing short of stellar. The stuff we get in CEs and FATEs in Crescent would make Bahamut's Coil blush. There's so much onscreen, fast-paced, flashy mechanics, all these multi-part attacks, big bosses with animated tells, mystifying telegraphs, mechanics layered upon mechanics upon mechanics. Jeuno, Arcadion, Crescent, all absolutely amazing combatwise. The dungeons... mostly very good, Origenics sucks and I don't buy the "Cauchia taught me how to upload your souls just now" in Alexandria, and it's clearly just trying to be another Amaurot or Dead Ends. The optional dungeons and patch dungeons we've gotten have been excellent, though, and Remembrance is probably a top-5 trial, honestly. All the patch combat content has been amazing. Story... remains to be seen. Which kind of means you've already failed, if you haven't managed to snag my interest early on. (To be fair, ARR's opening certainly didn't snag my interest; it was more of a Dark Souls thing: "okay, here's a video game, let's go around and see what it does," kinda thing.)

I signed up for a few Forked Tower runs this week. I didn't realize it was going to be sign-up hard, I was expecting more Dalriada and CLL-like stuff. Anyway, I'm proud of myself for signing up, what with the anxiety and all. We'll die, obviously, but I'll count it as a win if no one yells at me and I don't have a panic attack :p

Okay, that's all for now. I'm not sorry for being negative, I'm only sorry for not being more original.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Brinkwhump Linkdump

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then San Francisco (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

Once again, I find myself arriving at the weekend with a giant backlog of links, triggering a linkump, the 15th such dumpage, a variety-pack of miscellany for your weekend. Here's the previous editions:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

Let's start with the latest incredible news from KPMG, the accounting and auditing giant that is relied upon as a source of ground truth for a truly terrifying share of the world's economy. KPMG has a well-deserved reputation for incompetence and corruption. They first came on my radar in 2001 when they sent a legal threat to a blogger for linking to their website without permission:

https://memex.craphound.com/2001/12/05/reason-4332442-not-to-ask/

The actual link was to KPMG's corporate anthem, which remains, to this day, a banger:

https://web.archive.org/web/20040428063826/http://chkpt.zdnet.com/chkpt/uknewsita/http://anthems.zdnet.co.uk/anthems/kpmg.mp3

Don't miss the DJ remixes (and the Nokia ringtone!) that the internet thoughtfully provided when KPMG decided that it didn't want the world to know about "Our Vision of Global Strategy":

https://web.archive.org/web/20011128153057/http://corporateanthems.raettig.org/

Now all this is objectively very funny, a relic of the old, good internet from one of its moments of glory, but KPMG? They were already enshittifying, even in 2001, and the enshittification only intensified thereafter. Nearly every accounting scandal of the past quarter-century has KPMG in it somewhere, from con-artists selling exhausted oil fields to rubes:

https://www.desmog.com/2021/06/03/miller-energy-kpmg-auditors-oil-fraud/

To killer nursing homes that hire KPMG to audit its books – and to advise it on how to defeat safety audits and murder your grandma:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/09/dingo-babysitter/#maybe-the-dingos-ate-your-nan

They're the architects of Microsoft's tax-evasion plot:

https://www.propublica.org/article/the-irs-decided-to-get-tough-against-microsoft-microsoft-got-tougher

And they were behind Canada's dysfunctional covid contact-tracing app, which never worked, but generated tens of millions in billings to the government of Canada, who used KPMG to hire programmers at $1,500/day, plus KPMG's 30% commission:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/31/mckinsey-and-canada/#comment-dit-beltway-bandits-en-canadien

KPMG's most bizarre scandal is literally stranger than fiction. The company bribed SEC personnel help its own accountants cheat on ethics exams. The corrupt officials were then given high-paid jobs at KPMG:

https://www.nysscpa.org/news/publications/the-trusted-professional/article/sec-probe-finds-kpmg-auditors-cheating-on-training-exams-061819

I mean it when I say this is stranger than fiction. I included it as a plot-point in my new finance crime novel The Bezzle (now a national bestseller!), and multiple readers have written to me since the book came out a couple weeks ago to say that they thought I was straining their credulity by making up such an outrageous scandal:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

But all of that is just scene-setting (and a gratuitous plug for my book) for the latest KPMG scandal, which is, possibly, the most KPMG scandal of all KPMG scandals. The Australian government hired KPMG to audit Paladin, a security contractor that oversees the asylum seekers the country locks up on one of its island gulags (yes, gulags, plural).

Ever since, Paladin has been the subject of a string of ghastly human rights scandals – the worst stuff imaginable, rape and torture and murder of adults and children. Paladin made AU423 million on this contract.

And here's the scandal: KPMG audited the wrong company. The Paladin that the Australia government paid KPMG to audit was based in Singapore. The Paladin that KPMG audited was a totally different company, based in Papua New Guinea, who already had a commercial relationship with KPMG. It was this colossal fuckup that led to the manifestly unfit Singaporean company getting nearly half a billion dollars in public funds:

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2024/feb/24/incredible-failure-kpmg-rejects-claims-it-assessed-the-wrong-company-before-423m-payment-to-paladin

KPMG denies this. KPMG denies everything, always. Like, they denied creating "power maps" of decision-makers in the Australian government to target with influence campaigns in order to win contracts like this one. Who knows, maybe, this one time, they're telling the truth? After all, the company whose employees gather to sing lyrics like these can't be all bad, right?

The time is now to lead the way, We share the same the idea That may win by the end of the day. Our strength is here to stay. Identity, one energy, One strategy, with sympathy. These are the words that will lead us into a new world.

https://everything2.com/title/KPMG+corporate+anthem

You may find it strange that I'm still carrying around the factoid that KPMG once threatened to crush a blogger for linking to its terrible corporate anthem, but that's just my "Memex Method," which helps me keep track of literally everything that seemed important to me through most of my adult life:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

One of my favorite quips from the very quotable Riley Quinn is that "leftists are cursed with object-permanence" – that is, we actually remember what just happened and use it to think about what's happening now. The Memex Method is object permanence for 20+ years worth of stuff. A lot of those deep archives never see use, but there's a surprising number of leading indicators buried in the stuff that happened in years gone by.

Take James Boyle's 2014, XKCD-style comic about the experience of driving a notional Apple car:

https://www.thepublicdomain.org/2014/11/07/apple-updates-a-comic/

Apple, it turns out, spent the next decade working on just such a car, and while that car has now been canceled, Boyle's comic correctly anticipates so much about the trajectory Apple's products took. It's uncannily accurate – real "don't invent the torment nexus"/"cyberpunk was a warning, not a suggestion" stuff:

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/torment-nexus

But no matter how many times we insist that the torment nexus shouldn't be created, the boardrooms of end-stage capitalism continue to invent them. Take HP, the poster-child for enshittification, edging out even KPMG in the race to turn everything into a pile of shit. After years of tormenting people to punish them for wanting to print things, HP has announced a new service that so mustache-twirlingly evil that it lacks verisimilitude:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/02/hp-wants-you-to-pay-up-to-36-month-to-rent-a-printer-that-it-monitors/

Here's the pitch: HP will sell you a printer that you don't own. In addition to paying a monthly fee for your ink – which you pay no matter whether you print or not – you will also pay a monthly fee just for having HP's printer on your premises. You are absolutely, positively forbidden from using third-party ink in this printer, and must use HP's own ink, which sells for about $10,000/gallon.

But while you aren't allowed to use this printer in ways that are bad for HP's shareholders, HP is absolutely free to use the printer in ways that are bad for you. When you click through the signup agreement, you grand HP permission to surveil every document you print – and your home wifi network more generally – and to sell that data to anyone and everyone.

What's more, HP reserves the right to discipline you with punitive credit-card charges if you disconnect this printer from the internet, on the basis that doing so makes it harder for them to spy on your printer.

I'm sorry, this is just more torment nexus shit, the kind of thing you'd expect to drop on Apr 1, not Feb 29, but I guess this is where we are. I can only conjecture as to whether HP's businesses strategists are directly taking direction from my novella "Unauthorized Bread," or whether they're learning about it second-hand from a KPMG consultant who converted it to Powerpoint form and charged $1,500/day for the work:

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

All of this cartoonish villainry is the totally foreseeable consequence of a culture of impunity, in which companies like HP and KPMG can rob, cheat, steal (and sometimes even kill) without consequence. This impunity is so pervasive that the exceptions – where a rich criminal faces real consequences – become touchstones: Enron, Arthur Anderson, Theranos, and, of course, FTX.

FTX was arguably the largest-scale corporate crime in world history, stealing more than $10 billion dollars, mostly from rubes sucked in by hype and Superbowl ads. When news that FTX founder and owner Sam Bankman-Fried was convicted of fraud and was in for a lengthy prison sentence made a huge stir, because criminals like SBF usually walk away from the wreckage with their hands in their pockets, whistling a jaunty tune.

One of the very best commentators on cryptocurrency scams generally and FTX/SBF in particular is Molly White, whose Web3 is Going Just Great feed is utterly indispensable. White's newsletter, "Citation Needed," dives deep into the wrangle of SBF's sentencing:

https://www.citationneeded.news/issue-52/

Bankman-Fried's parents – prominent law professors at top law schools – helped brief the court this week on their son's punishment. According to them, SBF faces 100 years in prison, but should be sentenced to 5.5-6.5 years at the most. Why? Because he is a vegan, who is not greedy, and feels remorse, and cares for individuals (recall that SBF presented himself as the avatar of the batshit "effective altruism" philosophy while privately admitting that he used this as a smokescreen).

The most bizarre note in the 100-page filing is SBF's mother declaring that her son is an "angel of mercy," apparently unaware of the grisly meaning of that term:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_of_mercy_(criminology)

America's prisons are a travesty and I wouldn't wish them on anyone, but that's not the argument SBF's parents are making; rather, they're arguing that their special boy doesn't deserve the treatment America metes out to poorer, less white people who merely steal hundreds or thousands of dollars. A crook who steals ten billion should be handled the way a casino handles a whale – with concierge service.

The problem is, there are so many of these remorseless, relentless crooks that there's no way we could scale up that white-glove treatment when we finally round 'em all up and make them pay. Writing for The American Prospect, Maureen Tkacik tells us about the ransomware attack that shut down America's pharmacy system last month:

https://prospect.org/health/2024-03-01-zoomer-hackers-shut-down-unitedhealthcare/

The attack brought down Change Healthcare, part of the monopolist Unitedhealth, which serves as the "pharmacy benefit manager" to a vast swathe of American pharmacies. PBM is one of those all-American finance scams, a middleman garlanded with performative complexity put there to make you feel stupid for asking why independent pharmacies all have to pay rent to this malicious, unaccountable – and now, manifestly incompetent – gang of crooks.

Tkacik's breakdown of this scam – and how it rendered Americans' ability to get the drugs they depend on to go on breathing – is characteristically brilliant. Tcacik is fast emerging as my favorite Explainer of Scams, a print version of John Oliver or Adam Conover. You may recall her work from my post last week on how private equity has taken a wrecking ball to America's hospitals:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/28/5000-bats/#charnel-house

I always try to finish these linkdumps with some upbeat news to carry you through the weekend, and this week brought two genuinely wonderful – and totally underreported – pieces of amazing news.

The first is that Starbucks has sued for peace in the war against its workers' unions. Hundreds of Starbucks stores have unionized in recent years, but not one of them had a contract. Instead, Starbucks had waged dirty war on their own workers, from denying gender-affirming care to unionized employees to simply shutting down whole stores after they voted to unionize:

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/06/14/starbucks-union-company-threatens-that-unionizing-could-jeopardize-gender-affirming-health-care.html

But the workers held fast and after years of this, Starbucks has caved, promising contracts for all unionized stores and an end to its campaign of terror against workers seeking to unionize more of its stores. In a postmortem for Jacobin, Eric Blanc rounds up "seven lessons from Starbucks workers' historic victory":

https://jacobin.com/2024/02/starbucks-sbwu-contract-bargaining/

This is the kind of listicle I can get behind. According to Blanc, the Starbucks unions won by deploying worker-to-worker organizing, a tactic that many of the new unions that are shaking up formerly impossible-to-organize jobsites are using (Blanc has a book about this coming from UC Press called "We Are the Union: How Worker-to-Worker Unionism Can Transform America," so he should know).

Other tactics that made the difference for Starbucks unions: new digital training and support tools and partnering with established unions for support and infrastructure. Blanc also calls out the success of "salting" – the venerable but largely disused tactic of union organizers applying for a job at a non-union shop in order to organize it.

Blanc also mentions government policy, including the outstanding work of NLRB general counsel Jennifer Abruzzo, a shrewd and committed tactician whose understanding of the technicalities of labor law have let her push for bold measures. For example, in Thrive Pet Care, Abruzzo is arguing that when a company refuses to bargain in good faith for a contract with its union, she can step in and order them to honor the terms of a contract at comparable unionized competitors until they produce a contract of their own:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks/#if-blood-be-the-price-of-your-cursed-wealth

Abruzzo is one of several smart, competent tacticians in the Biden administration who are working to kneecap corporate power. Another is Rohit Chopra, chair of the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau, who just announced another bold, important initiative that will help Americans fight corporate corruption and get a fair deal:

https://prospect.org/economy/2024-03-01-public-option-credit-card-shopping/

Chopra is taking aim at credit-card comparison sites that purport to show you where you can get the best deal. If you're an affluent person who doesn't carry a balance, this might not matter to you, but if you're an average working stiff, high interest rates can gobble up a massive share of your paycheck. What's more, credit card margins are higher than they have ever been:

https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/blog/credit-card-interest-rate-margins-at-all-time-high/

The most expensive credit cards come from the big, monopolistic banks, but you wouldn't know it from the leaderboards produced by Credit Karma, NerdWallet, LendingTree, and Bankrate. All of these sites take bribes from the big banks to list their credit cards above those offered by credit unions – who are typically 10% cheaper than the big banks' cards.

The new CFPB rule prohibits this fraudulent ranking, but the Bureau is going even further. They're using their administrative powers to force banks to report their rates to the Bureau, which will publish them on a publicly funded, neutral website – what David Dayen calls "a public option" for shopping for credit cards.

This policy makes a perfect bookend to the last CFPB initiative I wrote about here: a rule that forces banks to allow you to transfer your account to a rival with a couple of simple clicks, importing all your history, payees, and everything else you need to switch to a better bank:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/21/let-my-dollars-go/#personal-financial-data-rights

Combine that ease of switching with reliable information on which banks will give you the best deal and you get something that will directly transfer millions and millions of dollars from giant, wildly profitable banks to low-income people who've been tricked into paying them punitive interest rates.

So that's it, this week's linkdump. I promised you I'd end on a high note, and I did it. The world may be full of all kinds of terrible things, but workers and regulators are scoring big, muscular victories in battles where the stakes are real and important. Have a great weekend – we've earned it.

And remember!

The time is now to lead the way, We share the same the idea That may win by the end of the day. Our strength is here to stay. Identity, one energy, One strategy, with sympathy. These are the words that will lead us into a new world.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/02/macedoine/#the-public-option

Image: Stacy (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/notahipster/4402860361/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/