#How tf is he a general and this whiny

[wingsdippedingold]

Roman Reigns is who Cassian thinks he is, but he’s actually a little bitch

[hijinxinprogress]

YouTuber!Stephanie

Stephanie has a youtube channel (she 100% gives it a name like gotham_after_dark or bat_interpreter) where she follows Batman and mocks him, she definitely also makes content on tiktok and instagram

She’s recording fights with rogues and him interrogating questioning people and doing voice overs in a goofiest growl she can for batman but she also does voices for everyone else (it gets to the point where penguin puts a hit out and is actively trying to expose the youtubers identity bc steph does this terrible whiny british accent when she’s imitating penguin)

She starts her channel right after Bruce fires her from Robin and still does it to this day

Bc if she’s gonna get shit for not being Tim might as well go all the way right?? She’s just doing the opposite of what Tim’s doing or outright copying him depending on which would annoy them the most

Stephanie records batman dangling some guy off a roof for the 37th time this week while going “You said the cheese on the nachos at your restaurant was imported directly from Italy but I saw you…THIS CHEESE IS FROM A GROCERY STORE…in GOTHAM… do you know what batman does to liars??”

Batman’s chasing the joker? Again? Here comes Stephanie with her fucking camera “Joker baby, you know that fight with Cobblepot meant nothing to me” “You know what, Bats? Fight whoever you want!” “Why are you going to Cobblepot’s lair with a grenade launcher? Baby…?” “Well, if the wellbeing of fucking Oswald is sooo important to you, you fucking cheater ☹️ I’m gonna kill him” “HUH” Stephanie’s joker voice is pretty good but she stops when Jason follows her channel after admitting he watches it (however Damian gives zero fucks and edits in his scarily accurate joker impression and will break into Jason’s apartment at random to do his joker impression)

Stephanie’s Duke impression is just her making puns in a bad robot voice and Duke hates it sm bc she’s saying shit like “Don’t signal for backup bc I’m already Signal-ing this ass whooping” “The yellow is the Signal for you to run” “Hey hey hey, night time is when you do this stupid shit rn is Signal Time” “The sun is my Signal to be vigilant-y” “Setting off that alarm should’ve been enough of a Signal for you stop” (Dick made tshirts and Duke refuses to talk to him when he wears them)

You legally have to be a level 79 hater to be a vigilante in gotham so most of Steph’s videos esp after Bruce has pissed her off are just her shitting on batman in a terrible growl “Damn, I’m getting too old for this…my knees hurt so much” “Nightwing thinks he’s funny, asking me if I remember the dust bowl…mf I remember the fucking big bang” “I’m so good at this, I don’t think anyone knows I’m a vampire” “Bruce Wayne owns gotham general and can’t cure Alzheimer’s?? I hate that asshole, I don’t even remember where tf I’m going” “I wanted to be Spider-Man and now I’m this” “Ooh, I’m Batman and I hate fun, happiness, and joy” “Don’t do crime, be like me…perpetually bitchless and breaking kneecaps” “Some people need coffee for a pick me up but I just need to see a purse snatcher piss their pants” “I don’t actually meld into the shadows, I just have Apple Maps and it takes me the long way”

Batman’s fighting or arguing with black mask?  Stephanie has been waiting for this moment so every video with black mask is just her making fun of black mask to the point where there’s barely any batman slander “My real names fucking Roman so I had to go all out with this stupid ass costume…I’m not even a real gothamite, I’m from metropolis” “Sionis…I don’t care… you blew up thirteen hostages” “ITS NOT MY FAULT, OKAY?! Did you know you’re supposed to wash masks? Especially if you wear the same one everyday? Bc I fucking didn’t” “…Sionis…” “THERES MOLD ON MY FACE and this mask smells like ASS” “Everyone knows that, you moron…How do you think I found you? I can smell your stench from damn near two miles away…” “I’m like scary though right??” “No, Sionis, you just have poor hygiene…and issues” “Dammit, I’m like a dollar tree version of two face” “Not quite, what’s lower than that? Dollar tree is too good for you…don’t tell joker but Harvey’s way-”

Stephanie has a two hour video of batman grappling across Gotham just shitting on metropolis and sixty seven minutes of it is just Superman slander in a terrible growl

There’s short clips of cass suddenly disappearing or appearing out of nowhere before and after dismantling someone with the michael myers theme playing in the background (Cass does dramatic flips and landings every time steph records her)

When Bruce complains about the threat to their identities and compromising ongoing missions/investigations, Stephanie (who is purposely trying to piss him off) just looks him dead in eye and goes “Well, you’re not the boss of me sooo” so Tim gives a presentation and shuts down every single argument Bruce makes just to be contrary bc he’s a fucking asshole

Tim only has a problem with it when Stephanie and Damian start working together bc Damian  does concerningly accurate impressions and Damian keeps making Tim sound like a fucking idiot and it’s worse bc he can mimic his speech patterns (“I can’t do this anymore… I’m sad and pasty… Call the fifth robin, you know…the only competent robin…”) 

Like Damian’s repeating one of Tim’s caffeine concoction induced rants about bagels in Tim’s voice while Steph is growling at him to focus in her batman impression

When Tim brings his complaints to Bruce about Stephanie’s youtube account, Bruce cites Tim’s own argument back to him so Tim takes over editing and recording to be an asshole

[writingwithcolor]

Does my spoiled Black princess act “too white”? Plus possible forced caregiver role

Anonymous asked:

I just had someone on Discord complain that a black character of mine comes off as “too white” (Read: Whiny and immature). The thing is: I did that on purpose. She’s a princess, a sheltered, spoiled one at that, and much of her character arc revolves around her journeying into the outside world for the first time and learning to grow tf up. I explained this to the guy, but he stuck to his guns and said that even with that context in mind, it’s still an issue.

So I’d like another opinion on this: Is there anything I should change? Not her race, though. She has a very particular character design for which I want her skin to be as dark as possible.

And I’m not sure how important this last bit is, but I figure this is the kind of thing you’d want to know: She also has a little (white) kid tagging along with her, but she’s a massive jerk to him for the first quarter of the story because she doesn’t want him there. But she cut a deal with his brother to take him with her, and as insufferable as she can be, she has a strong code of honor.

I would like to start by saying that acting “too white” is not a thing. Her personality should be defined by how she was raised, even though that can be influenced by the culture in which she grew up. I know that many Black communities, from the Caribbean for example, tend to have a stricted education. Populations who once were subjected to colonialism or faced racism by immigrating generally have education views marked by trauma : we are held to higher standards to represent our community.

Does that story takes place in our world and or in a fantasy world ? If it’s in our world, depending on where she’s from, chances are high that she went through a not-so-spoiled education, even though I don’t know about African royalties. If you’re writing fantasy, you’re free to do what you wish and her being immature fits her education.

However I would be a bit more concerned about the White kid hanging with her. Your description makes me think of him as a… pet, kinda ? And it draws a weird parallel with European royalties a few centuries ago having Black servants, a bit like a reversed situation. Where is the kid from, is there racism in your world ? Is there a reason why the brother wants her to take him with her ? What is the thing with that kid. I’m more concerned about that part than the princess’ personality to be honest.

- Mod Lydie

This guy in your discord just sounds ignorant. Black people are not all assigned to a set descriptor of personality traits. A princess with a sheltered, spoiled and whiny personality is not reserved for only white people. BIPOC, and particularly Black people in this case, come from all backgrounds and personas. 

I would ask this person, “what would a princess who ‘acts Black’ act like to you?” Based on his mindset, I'm sure having a Black princess at all is a stumbling block. If your audience can’t envision a Black person who doesn’t act and think the way they envision that all Black women must, that’s their own racist bias to overcome. 

Let them feel uncomfortable as they get to know characters that are not caricatures who soothe their stereotypical assumptions.

White kid tagging along, forced to care for them

As for the kid: Like Lydie, I find this bit concerning. 

Questions I have:

What is the purpose of his presence?

Is she being forced into a caregiver role without her consent? Whether out of obligation, morals, or having been tricked?

Is this kid meant to teach her a lesson on being humble?

Forcing a Black girl who is arguably “too whiny, immature, and spoiled” into caring for a (white) child can feel a bit like forcibly humbling her into servitude for being too “uppity.” For context: Black people that have nice things and act proud of their lifestyle are often seen as thinking they’re better than other Black people, aka the uppity stereotype. Keep in mind that people who think Black people should not have these luxuries or be proud of their success love to see them “knocked them down a peg” in an attempt to humble them. But why do they need to be humbled?

Perhaps your princess does have some less than favorable traits. Ask yourself if they need to be “corrected” by servitude, if at all? Seeing character growth is a part of stories, yeah, but there are other ways she can undergo that process without going from princess to Mammy.

Here are some examples of ways to create character growth for the princess without servitude being involved.

Character growth without caretaker role ideas

Having a character tag along with her that doesn’t need her care, but building a real friendship (or romance) with them that helps her be more considerate for others.

Or this character does not fear her whiny attitude and challenges her throughout.

She sees how other people live, act and love. This makes her reflect on her own actions and / or long to be included.

Experiencing a life changing event or loss that makes her reflect on her own actions.

Overcoming real challenges, self-care and hard work that causes character growth and humility, without humiliation.

The child tags along, along with some else that does the caretaking. (Parent, sibling, servant). Even without having to do much for caregiving, she experiences growth as she starts to care or like the child.

So long story short: There is so much thing as a Black person who acts white. That’s simply people who can’t envision Black people beyond stereotypes, and that is a “them” problem, not your story’s. Carry on! We do recommend you avoid forcing the Black princess into servitude in an attempt to amend her personality. See the suggestions above.

~Mod Colette

[zvdvdlvr]

- 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

navi.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒆 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇

{ ✦ }

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

Firm believer that your humour, natural grace, and physical features drew him in first. Your patience - for him and in general - definately is adored by him.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

LOVES your hands (i'm a hands person and it shows lol). Loves when you play with his hair, give him a smack every once in awhile for making a particularly snide comment, and especially when you hold his hand.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Loves to just lay on you. Not a fan of spooning unless bro is exhausted, but will big spoon you if you need the sleep. Probably a whiny guy in his sleep if he can't get to sleep at just the right temperature.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

You + him + Rampion. Probably would take you up to look at the stars and talk about things on your mind. An on Earth date would probably be a little different. Dependinng on the day, Thone might take you to a (fancy) restaurant and legit spoil tf out of you because you deserve it. If it's a slower, lazier day, Thorne would pack some stuff up and y'all would go out on a little picnic date somewhere out in the open

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

By joking around. If Thorne got particularly emotional during the day, he would sit down with you and try to talk things through.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

Not particularly, but if you wanted one was another story. Would probably prefer adoption over anything, but if you wanted biological kids Thorne is down for that too :)

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

Not much of a gift giver unless there's an occasion, but if you or Thorne's away for awhile, he'll pick something up for you that he thinks you'll like.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Whenever he sees people watching you or him. He knows that before Cinder became queen, he would often completely disregard almost anything, but now learns to protect what's his and has become very protective tbh

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

A mix of anger and some other unnameable emotions. If you guys got together before Levana fell, please expect Thorne to be a hoverer. Even if he'll completely deny his feelings, he's a worrywort.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Not much of a prankster to you, but will 100% make jokes - specifically inside jokes. Inside jokes are super special to Thorne, and reminding you of a funny situation that has happened before always makes him happy

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Me personally in my humble author opinion, Thorne likes that lettle exhale of contentment and your little mewls.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

hovering like a helicopter. Thorne keeps an eye on you, especially if you're recovering from an injury.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

When you first held hands

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

During Levana's reign: You being killed under her orders or him being forced to kill you

After Levana's reign: getting amnesia and forgetting everything about you

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

A total mother when worried. Other than that, Thorne used to wear multiple layers of underwear as a kid idk i dont make the rules

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

He calls you: babe, a variation of your name, something to do with an inside joke

You call him: Captain, Thorn, automobile (because of his name and an inside joke lmao)

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

Either: a.) in the ship cruisin' b.) in cinder's silly goofy lunar castle home c.) sleeping

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

yellow by coldplay

how to save a life by the fray

heart-shaped box by nirvana

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

somewhat closed off until a good 5 or 6 months into your relationship

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

As previosuly stated, thorne denies his feelings at every turn, so probably a year maybe? all depends on how much rizz you have /j

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

Angry upset -> loud, snappy, direct,

Sad upset -> quiet, avoiding most eye contact, shuts down,

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

yes. you cant tell me that when this man is enoamoured and starstruck by his partner he wouldn't show them off and compliment them to every extent. he loves talking about you and could talk about you for hours

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Would fight for you, wouldn't want you fighting, but if you did it would be right at his side so he can protect you if need be

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

eh. at the beginning of the realtionship, he couldn't read between the lines to save anyone's life. later on in the realtionship, however, could write, publish, and autograph a book on how he's memorized your social cues - just as you could do for him

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

On... the ship. lmao. Would fumble a speech so would just try to spit it right out instead of layering a simple question with a lot of words

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

the rampion, you joking around with him, sandalwood, your voice

[ao3feed-todoroki]

Movie Night

Movie Night by LilSpidey

“Touya, Tou, Dabs, c'mon pleaseeee, please, please.”

Touya rolls his eyes as his best friend clings to his back and tries his best to shake him off balance, “No Kei! How many times do I have to tell you that All Might and Eraser already said we can't?!”

Tenko glares irritably at them over the top of his Switch, “Can you two shut your traps, you're supposed to be training not flirting.”

Touya whips his head around to glare at the other white haired boy and Tenko shrinks in on himself at the withering glare he's receiving. Unfortunately, this is just the opening that Keigo is looking for as he flings all his weight forward and sends the both of them crashing to the floor. Touya groans in pain and shoves Keigo off his back, “Thanks a lot bird brain you crushed my thermometer again. All Might's gonna be pissed.” The last part comes out a little whiny and the other two boys snicker at his distress.

OR

UA students Tenko, Keigo, and Touya decide to sneak out of training to go watch the latest Spider-Man movie.

Words: 1639, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Dadzawa and Dadmight Universe

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dabi | Todoroki Touya, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead

Relationships: Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks, Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Takami Keigo | Hawks

Additional Tags: Mentioned Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Alternate Universe - High School, dadzawa and dadmight, Alternate Universe, the three got adopted by aizawa and all might before most trauma could occur, theyre attending UA to become heros, Sneaking Out, Slice of Life, Holding Hands, Dabi | Todoroki Touya is Not a Villain, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is Not a Villain, Childhood Friends, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is a Little Shit, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is an Eraserhead Fan, how tf is that not a tag hello

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39380064

[monstermaster13]

Transformation Hot Takes:

- Stereotypical toon tfs, not my thing, but actual cartoon character tfs, yes please.

- Mascot tfs into a generic mascot you just made up instead of existing ones..okay, but I prefer actual existing mascot character tfs, and by that mean I don't mean acting like mascots are sentient beings, that being sad...Pepsiman and The Noid should NEVER be used for TFs ever again because who wants to be those characters.

- Am I the only one who thinks that otaku/fat nerd transformations are offensive? I have an OC who is an overweight character and he very much thinks that the stereotypes associated with nerds and with overweight characters are offensive when it comes to transformations like this. Yeah, make as many whiny social media posts about me as you want, I just don't think a were-otaku who is fat and is bad at sex despite being so horny all the time is a good werecreature to have. Look, not all nerds are fat. And since when were nerds bad in the love-making department? I mean Sheldon Cooper has a girlfriend, Egon Spengler got himself a wife and has a daughter and two grandkids, and Ray got banged by a ghost, in a dream but still...he got to make out with a ghost. And if the AoE every turns people into bad cosplayers of husbandos for the were-otaku to lust over or into toys to be put into the 'love ooze' jar, no thank you.

- Why are suiting tfs even a thing, it's not a transformation, it's just sticking some person in a suit?

- Drones are disgusting and creepy in my opinion. Look I have nothing against robot tfs except when it's one that fetishes turning someone into a robot, nobody had their sexual awakening to Vera Webster in Superman III, so why act like it's hot to be a robot?

- I don't mind dark tfs but I really don't like animal transformations where the victim is unable to talk or think like a human. Also seeing good characters get corrupted is always going to make me feel uncomfortable.

- Bears make for a boring transformation subject. I mean in actuality all bears just eat and sleep, it is no different than being a house-cat or a sloth. I mean you might as well go for a sloth. But if you want an animal that sleeps a lot, you could have just gotten a koala instead since koalas are rarely used.

- The only inanimate transformations that i'd ever deem acceptable are living versions of Spirit Halloween, Transworld and Gemmy animatronics.

- Bimbofication is not my thing and never was.

- Transfurs and protogens are overrated, there I said it.

- Real person transformations are not evil/terrible/bad.

- Why is the kangaroo the go to marsupial transformation when the koala, bandicoot and wombat are right there?

- I don't mind character tfs into a character the artist/writer likes...however, I could do without the needlessly grim and dark tfs that try to emulate David Cronenberg especially if it's just a humanoid character they are turning into and could do without mind change.

- There are fish species besides sharks. Sharks are not as scary/badass as the media depicts them, try some tetras, or a blobfish, or an anglerfish, or even a piranha, or a stargazer.

- No matter how much creepy body horror you put into it...a clown tf is just a tf into another human being, stop treating them like a species. And also shouldn't be a thing.

- I have nothing against weight gain in transformations as long as it makes sense for a character/form to be that size, the person is happy, and if it's not overly fetishistic, often it falls into the fat fetishism category and it is treated like it's 'aspirational' to be overweight when it's actually not, stop objectifying overweight people and patronizing them, they aren't your object of desire. You know, when I do my Aykroyd transformations it's a joke in the stories that the were-aykroyd form is appealing to both men and women, and my characters is sometimes attracted to his were-aykroyd form, and it isn't because he's thicc in that form, it's because his charm is increased in that form, heck the dum dum were-aykroyd tfs are PARODIES of those fat fetish weight gain stories because dum dum were-aykroyds are considered a JOKE species of were-aykroyd in his main universe.

- Horror movie character transformations are rare and should be done more often.

- Cow transformations get a bad reputation because of the flatulence and fecal matter aspects that somehow always get shoved in.

[ao3feed-hawks]

Movie Night

Movie Night by LilSpidey

“Touya, Tou, Dabs, c'mon pleaseeee, please, please.”

Touya rolls his eyes as his best friend clings to his back and tries his best to shake him off balance, “No Kei! How many times do I have to tell you that All Might and Eraser already said we can't?!”

Tenko glares irritably at them over the top of his Switch, “Can you two shut your traps, you're supposed to be training not flirting.”

Touya whips his head around to glare at the other white haired boy and Tenko shrinks in on himself at the withering glare he's receiving. Unfortunately, this is just the opening that Keigo is looking for as he flings all his weight forward and sends the both of them crashing to the floor. Touya groans in pain and shoves Keigo off his back, “Thanks a lot bird brain you crushed my thermometer again. All Might's gonna be pissed.” The last part comes out a little whiny and the other two boys snicker at his distress.

OR

UA students Tenko, Keigo, and Touya decide to sneak out of training to go watch the latest Spider-Man movie.

Words: 1639, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Dadzawa and Dadmight Universe

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dabi | Todoroki Touya, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead

Relationships: Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks, Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Takami Keigo | Hawks

Additional Tags: Mentioned Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Alternate Universe - High School, dadzawa and dadmight, Alternate Universe, the three got adopted by aizawa and all might before most trauma could occur, theyre attending UA to become heros, Sneaking Out, Slice of Life, Holding Hands, Dabi | Todoroki Touya is Not a Villain, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is Not a Villain, Childhood Friends, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is a Little Shit, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is an Eraserhead Fan, how tf is that not a tag hello

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39380064

[yourlocalweirdo-3000]

Straw-Hat Crew — general NSFW headcanons ⚠️🔞⚠️

Luffy and Sanji have mini-scenarios with theirs :)

Characters: Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Usopp, Robin, Nami, +Smoker

(established relationships)

Part two coming soon

WARNINGS: NSFW, overstimulation, cockwarming, size kink, voice kink, slight choking, and a whole bunch more that I'm too lazy to tag 😅

Luffy:

Very impatient.  

High libido; will take the opportunity to jackhammer into you any chance he gets.

Pretty vocal most of the time.   Maybe even whiny.

His kisses are messy; saliva dripping down his chin and everything. He'll touch every part of you with his hands. 

Loves to go down on you but says the most embarrassing shit about your genitals.  Deadass compares it to eating meat the first time it happens; like babe, sorry but that's not very flattering from your point of view.  

Gets kinda rough at times.  Won't stop fucking you even if he's got tears in his eyes. 

Will go at it for hours if you let him.  "Just one more, c'mon, please—just one more" he says after every orgasm. He'd stop if you truly wanted him to. 

Passes tf out after pounding the daylights out of you.  Learns about aftercare after that and gets better at it eventually.

Scenario

     Luffy's voice is so hot when he's fucking you from behind.  His cock finds your sweet spot out of habit and he uses one of his hands to push firm pressure on your clit.  He's rocking into your body, kissing you wherever he can.  At times all he can do is rest his face against your skin, drooling. He refused to cum until you do ('cause "that's when it feels the best!"), and only when your eyes roll to the back of your head does he finally let go.   

     His pace is unforgiving even now.  He can't form words at this point, all he can do is whine and cry as he feels your gummy cunt spasm on his cock.  

Sanji:

Absolutely submissive. Very vocal.  The way he moans is hot as fuck; he'll whine, grunt, his voice may even crack, and the way he breathes out your name with tears in his eyes— makes blood rush straight to your groin.  

Loves cockwarming and overstimulation.  He keeps going until you cum, and he makes you cum as many times as you can.  

Kinda into being choked; he really gets hard when you're rough with him.

(If you're a woman or someone who wears panties: Definitely steals your underwear.  Loves the way your heat smells and uses it as wank-material 🥴)

Into giving and receiving praise.  

Spends all the time he can between your legs; he's immensely proud that he can make you come undone with his mouth alone. Loves the way you taste.

Likes being ordered around a little bit. 

His aftercare is divine.  He knows exactly what to do without you even saying it. 

Scenario:

      Imagine Sanji ploughing into your doughy hole;  load after load pumped out and still his pace never lets up.  How can you blame him when your insides are squeezing him that tightly, when your voice gets whiny and tears dot your cheeks, when your walls are so slick and relaxed that he doesn't even need to use lube to help the process along? 

    He's cumming deep inside you with a loud cry, yet again, barely slowing down, and you cum with him. It's clearly the big finale.  His voice is erotic, fit only for wet dreams and pornography, and damn it turned you on.  

     Soon enough he's slowing down, rocking into you, ensuring you're stuffed full of his seed.  He's massaging your pliable body; the ever dutiful Sanji already beginning his aftercare routine. After cuddling, showers, and getting ready for bed, you fall asleep in each other's arms. 

    

Zoro:

Prefers to be the dominant one in bed with you, but does occasionally let you take the reins.

He's got the stamina to go round after round; you better be prepared. 

Not very vocal, but he's perfect at fucking you at the right pace. 

Likes to hold you up in position a lot; both to get stronger and flex his strength in front of you. 

Likes it when you use his body while he's sleeping, so long as it's behind closed doors. 

Doesn't even know what aftercare is; when you explain it to him, he doesn't understand why going to sleep right after the deed doesn't count, but he gets it eventually.  He knows you're not trying to be needy or anything, but a little more care in this area couldn't hurt. 

(Continuation of last hc): next time y'all do it, he takes the time to hold you and rub your back. You actually fall asleep before him, for a change.

Usopp:

Another whiny one. 

Likes when you use the '–sama' honorific.

More on the submissive side; talks big but in reality he's kinda insecure; he likes it when you go your own pace.  

Can't go too many rounds tbh; gets sleepy immediately after a couple of orgasms.  

He doesn't know how best to please you at first but he gets the hang of it quickly.  Does his best not to leave you unsatisfied and usually succeeds. 

Rather good at kissing.  Can do things with his tongue that make you melt.

(His nose gets in the way sometimes, but y'all make it work 🥴)

Make sure you're truly alone when you're banging though, cause there is no keeping him quiet when he orgasms.  

His aftercare is decent, actually.  He's a natural.  Falls asleep right after this though; there's no way you're getting this guy out of your bed after something like that.  (Cute asf though.  Talks a lot in his sleep, says your name a lot too. vv cute <3)

Robin:

Anyone with Robin as their lover is extremely blessed.  She may not convey her feeling verbally, but the unspoken way she shows her love is clear. 

So when it comes to the bedroom, she is tender.  She's a service dom all the way.   

Whatever position you may find yourselves in, she is always attuned to the way you're feeling.  

She puts her devil fruit powers to good use, too 👀👀 Just imagine all the uses of extra hands during love-making... endless possibilities.

She is so good in bed bruh, but most of all it's just really loving.  It has to be; she'd never be so vunerable with someone she didn't trust completely, and you're honored to be one of the few people she's chosen for the role. 

Her kisses and hickeys were promises; testaments to all the things she doesn't say out-loud. 

Robin loves the face you make when you cum, and she usually has more stamina than you in this area, so you're going to be making that face a lot 🥴

Her thing is thighs; they're really sexy to her.  She adores your thighs, and loves to leave hickeys on the insides of them.

Any stretch-marks, scars, or other insecurities are adored by her, proof of your own trust in her.  

She's a pro at oral.  Whatever you've got down there, she knows what to do.  The extra hands and mouths do wonders. 

Let her fuck you with the strap please she'll love you forever lmao.

Nami:

Pillow princess. 

Usually likes to lay back and order you what to do, or just have you take care of her. 

Likes to tie you up sometimes though. 

Uses lots of toys, both on herself and you.  

Her toys and harnesses are always so pretty.  Nami would never own something ugly, what do you expect?

Has a thing for ruined makeup 🥴

Okay Nami is low-key really kinky. Bondage, spanking, etc. She likes to choke you a little bit, too.  

Her moans are cute asf; she tries to hold back at first, but soon she can't help but let out high-pitched whines and moans. 

Loves it when you pull her hair when you fuck her.

Smoker:

He's got a size kink, bad.  

But other than that he's surprisingly tender.  He looks like the kinda guy who likes it rough, and sure he can get rough if you want, but he's always sweet about it regardless.

Prefers fucking you at a slow pace, taking time to enjoy the flutter of your walls around him as you pant and moan.

Holds you close when he makes love. 

Likes doggy-style, missionary, and prone-bone positions. 

Doesn't mind a little choking, giving or receiving.

Not into quickies or public sex; more so the latter than the former.  He wants to be a good example for his subordinates, no fucking on the job. 

Into creampies, and has a little bit of a breeding kink.  

When he orgasms, there is a lot of cum— and I truly mean a lot. He gets hard again and is ready to go for another round just from watching his cum gush and ooze out of your hole. 

He'll make you orgasm again and again until neither of you can handle it, and then he'll make you cum again. 

Likes it when you scratch him up as he pounds into you. 

You can call him whatever you want, he doesn't mind, but he prefers sir over anything else. 

Service dom, and super quiet in bed. You'll have to let him know if you want him to be louder. 

He's good at kissing but his mouth tastes sickly sweet, like ash and the artificial sweetness of cigars.  

A natural with his mouth, in all the right places, iykwim 😏

[thisisnottherealryannross]

okay but jess was honestly the most realistic and normal teenage relationship rory had. dean was bordering on abusive and their relationship was too serious for their age. logan's entire existence is just unrealistic if we're being real (and this is coming from a lower middle class kid going to a rich people college). jess had major issues (adhd, avpd, and ptsd are just some of the possibilities) but when he was actually with rory he was just your average kinda nerdy 17 year old with a crush and to expect "reliability" from him is insane. I think my generation has been jaded to a point of no return because the idea that jess is anything but a kid who needs help is insane. he is not an adult who's supposed to make it on his own in the world. he's school should have supported him more and they should have called luke the second he got to 10 absences.

I also hear a lot of people call dean clingy and needy so I need to clarify that dean is neither of those things, he is obsessive. they way jess becomes attached to and partially dependent on rory might be clingy and needy but dean is NOT. he is far worse.

also can we talk about how sad it is that rory was probably the first person to make jess feel safe enough to just be a kid and not an adult

back to my point about school I saw someone say he would have been better off at a school like Chilton and honestly yeah. the work load would have kept him more engaged and private schools are notorious for actually caring about their students which you see clearly with Chilton. they would have called Luke after the first unexcused absence.

also he's issues don't excuse what happened at the party. obviously he had no intention on SAing her that's clear from how slow he is to approach kissing her so she has time so say no because his verbal communication sucks so much just asking makes him anxious. and on top of that he said she did nothing wrong and went after her to apologize once it clicked what was probably going through her head. but with that said he was a little pushing about it when she pushed him away but even he said he didn't even know what to think anymore (about anything going on with himself really). he raised his voice and snapped at her because he was frustrated with himself and that fact that she was pushing him to talk about what was going on when he didn't want to. does this give him the right to raise his voice at her? absolutely not but he was going to apologize so I assume he knew what he did wrong

anyway that scene is not as bad as it's made out to be and honestly it's one of those scenes that you need to look at with a early 2000s lense because it would have probably been interpreted completely different back then

also why didn't she want to bring him to her prom? like she brought dean to a dance a her school why not jess? he was less whiny about wearing a suit too so I can see him having more fun than dean and not getting in a fight with one of her classmates. also what tf was that "because I'll kill you" bs with Tristan like babe your 16 calm down cool it with the fake tough guy shit

[honey-milk-depresso]

Obey Me Opposites Attract (1)

Lucifer:

It’ll be that you are full of flaws, low self esteem, forgiving and merciful,

and Lucifer is flawless, high as fck self esteem, unforgiving and unmerciful.

Like a strict dad and a forgiving mother.

Like-

h u h-

Conversations sometimes go like this:

“That scumbag Mammon, I’m gonna-”

“Calm down, Lucifer, I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

He’s somehow always calm around you.

And you somehow manage to calm him down easily

It’s a mystery and miracle to be honest-

So many people wonder why he would ever bother and fuss about you.

You were... mostly plain, you didn’t stand out, and you don’t really have much in you.

Your grades were average, performances were average-

You are basically average in the majority’s eyes.

But Lucifer thought differently otherwise.

How tf do you even not KILL Mammon? Or Levi? Or anyone?

How do you have that much of mercy??

Sometimes he reprimand you of letting people go so easily,

but once others see that you forgive them, 

I think they’d feel guilty if they do it again to upset you.

You’re kind hearted, unlike Lucifer,

and seeing you upset will break your heart. So they won’t cause the same trouble again at best.

And Lucifer was like “Wait, there was no murder involved??”

So, he’s thankful to have you around.

And he finds comfort in you.

Best to make sure those people once at fault don’t do their wrongs again,

if they made you sad, Lucifer will exterminate them.

Just for you :)

“Lucifer, no-”

Mammon:

If Mammon is greedy, a slack, immature, sensitive, empathetic and egoistic,

Then you are generous (if necessary), hardworking, mature, insensitive, coldhearted and humble. (somehow-)

He would be always trying to go to every gambling corner, and you’d be the one to drag him away from it.

Basically just dragging him away from danger, which he’s somehow always attracted to it.

At first, he’s always whiny and complaining about it, to which you gave him a glare and coldly ask him to be quiet, to which he promptly shut up afterwards,

it’s apparent that you two had a soft spot for each other.

Well, in different ways.

Mammon acts all haughty and stuff in front of you, saying he doesn’t need your help, or he’s doing it because he “felt like it”,

but really, Mammon’s just really protective over you,

and he knows he’s not good at helping or solving a problem at all, 

but he knows your human, and that the problems he’s dealing with most of the time, could get you killed if you weren’t careful, so he doesn’t want you helping him.

You on the other hand, always tell him cruel truths, coldly ask him to go back, because you’re worried about him too,

and you don’t want him to get hurt.

So you ask him to get out of the place or to shut up so he wouldn’t get into further trouble.

You actually help him in his tasks, since you’re hardworking and he’s a slack,

and though you have always told him to do it,

which he would cuz you’re pretty intimidating-

you end up helping him because you do love him.

And he feels sorta guilty for you doing all his work, so he helps you out-

I say you two are a tsundere couple- in different ways :3

Leviathan:

You’d be outgoing, confident, contented, optimistic and a social butterfly,

Levi would be reclusive, insecure, envious, pessimistic and a closet shut in.

Unlike with Lucifer, where you’re the loser (I’m sorry-) and the other is seemingly perfect in every way,

it’s the opposite.

You’re the one seemingly perfect in every way, while Levi is the loser-

huh-

Levi calls you the biggest normie he’s ever met,

and he was at first, super jealous of you.

you make friends so easily, and everyone seemed to like you since day 1,

and how could you be so grateful for everything?!

Won’t you feel upset if everybody else got the world, and you only get a grain of sand??

but little did he know, you were also kind of jealous of him, too.

That was because you couldn’t really survive on yourself without people wih you,

or the fact that you were a lot more dependent on other people,

not so much like Levi,

he does quite a lot by himself,

and he’s pretty independent too.

And Levi was shocked as frick-

You??

Jealous of him???

He became a blushing mess of embarrassment,

he doesn’t know how to react.

Your relationship is something like this:

“LEVI *pulling him by the leg* GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM, YOU NEED FRESH AIR-”

“FRESH AIR WON’T HELP ME, STOP PULLING ME AND LET ME BACK IN MY CASTLE-”

Yep-

But, he’s happy you actually look up to him,

and because you’ve always pushed him out of his comfort zone,

he’s a lot more confident than he used to be, so he’s thankful for you.

“What? No- I- I- okay fine yes, I like you, too... in a way..”

Satan:

Satan is a bookworm, practical, short fused, calm at times and overthinks too much,

You are, well, not a bookworm, more fond of video games, focusing more on emotional intelligence, more calmer and patient than Satan, and underthinking.

Satan actually thought you’ll get along more with Levi,

since you both are pretty hardcore when it comes to gaming.

Apparently not.

Now he’s rambling to you about a book he’s read, while you played on your game consoles while showing him an epic kill.

Pretty funny huh?

Like Lucifer, you tend to be the one calming Satan down, and he appreciates it.

And you help him understand the emotional side of things, allowing him to understand other people’s feelings and how to deal with them,

and you helped him get along with Lucifer after so many centuries.

He’s gotten a lot better in managing his anger because of you.

And he helps you not make a bad choice, get killed, and help you get out of the situation with his quick thinking.

He thinks too much, so you help him calm down and stuff, not to

ya know,

overthink SO MUCH-

And he helps you to actually process your thoughts.

He engulfs you with a bunch of knowledge he knows to impress you,

and while you love gaming,

you know when to stop

and just listen to him ramble-

before you start geeking about a game to him,

and while he doesn’t know anything,

he’ll just listen.

It’s you after all he wants to listen to, and that’s all that matters <3

[binniesthighs]

multifandom soulmate aus ✨

soulmate (n): a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

✨ a/n: hello hello!! today on, “Ro’s self indulgent fics” ehehe i’ve been thinking a lot about some of my favorite kpop besties and how i feel like sometimes in a group, there’s the members who just stick like glue and it’s kinda like they were destined to meet that way! anyway hehe this concept is so fkn cute to me so i wanted to make some poly r-ship headcannons with some of my favorites! 

➛ disclaimer: the pairings that i use are def not all inclusive of all “soulmate” pairings out there, just the ones i know of atm! also, i know some of these groups better than others, so some will be more specific, and others a little more general! 

✨ groups included: stray kids, ateez, the boyz, monsta x, seventeen, txt, bts 

✨ feedback is always appreciated! who’s your favorite?✨

➛maybe if we’re feelin’ spicy i can do a part 2 with the ones i haven’t done yet ;) 

Pairing: idol x female reader x idol (see fandoms above!) 

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: established r/ship au, poly r-ship, sexual content (the usual stuff also including unprotected sex-please stay safe!) comfort ahhh, mentions of food alcohol  

*all photocreds go to ops :) 

both sfw and nsfw under the snip snip! 

♡ chanlix ♡

sfw

omg where the hell do i start with chanlix we love our cannon soulmates 

arguably the softest fkn pairing on this list; being soulmates with chanlix is like meeting your other halves (thirds?). there’s some serious destiny at work here!! 

the three of you understand each other on a spiritual level--almost to the point where you could likely read their minds if you wanted to try haha. there’s also a really, really strong type of emotional intimacy that you share with them that’s out of this world. 

this soulmate bond is so fkn strong, the three of you could go through any hardships and come out of it stronger than ever! 

the three of you have cute lil nicknames for eachother that you thought up yourselves! 

 your families are close as heck! it’s really pure how by the three of you so many people can get close ahhh 

i think that chanlix would be really into more outdoorsy dates? camping, swimming, hiking, sightseeing, stargazing, picnics etc! felix also loves taking you on food tours! 

bc chan is chan, he really takes on such a protective role over you and felix, he would quite literally do anything for you two: forgot your notebook or documents on the way to work/school? he’ll drop everything to bring them to you. sad? he’ll get you your favorite food, tons of blankets, his hoodie to wear and your favorite movie/tv show to watch with you! if anyone hurts your feelings too he will square tf up. 

felix is the world’s most adoring boyfriend in so, so many ways. not only is he such a cuddle bug, he shows you that he cares with tons of acts of service similar to chan! this comes in the form of his baking of course and other silly little gifts he sees that reminds you of him. he isn’t the best at words sometimes, but will soothe you by giving you a little massage or by playing with your hair! 

nsfw 

okay...😏 damn i’ve been wanting to write some poly chanlix so fkn bad ahhhh 

once again i really see chan taking the lead in more intimate situations. he really likes giving directions and seeing both you and felix carry them out! honestly he gets a bit of an ego boost seeing the both of you all whiny and fucked out ahhh 

here i come with my softsub!felix agenda oops hehe but this boy is frickin’ angelic for you and chan oml, he always asks for permission before he does things and eats praise up with a fkn spoon. praises alone really get him off: “does lixie like it when i play with his cute cock like this?” 

there’s something that gets the three of you ridiculously amped when you do all kinds of roleplay scenarios FRICK some favorites are pet play (you and lix being the kitties) teacher/student, roleplaying strangers, sex slaves, artist/muse, oh my god there was a halloween where you once did vampire roleplay you still think about it 🤤 

since the three of you are so comfortable with eachother, experimentation feels really safe! for example, the suggestion of shibari came up and now....let’s just say lix looks really pretty tied up ;) 

chan’s got a huuuuge (cock) and size kink!! he really likes topping both you and lix and seeing a bulge omg.... also when he can bulge your throats mmmhm! 

felix loves it especially when you ride his face, and he cold do it for hours! he looks so cute between your legs when he licks over and over your clit. he’ll ask you too if he’s doing good and you better say yes ;) 

favorite position would be all cuddled up and cozy with the two of them double penetrating you real nice and slow with tons of kisses and just touchin’ all over 

cockwarming cockwarming all day, every single time, without fail, it feels wrong if you finish without it! 

♡ woosan  ♡

sfw 

idk why but the first thing that comes to my mind is that in certain settings, ya’ll are loud as fuck AHA i guess what i mean to say as that as a trio, you are all super, super unapologetic and confident when around each other! this might have lead to you getting kicked out of a couple bowling alleys and karaoke places before... 

there’s a type of unspoken understanding that the three of you have that makes your bond so special. while you love eachother so dearly, it isn’t something that you really feel needs to be said out loud, it kind of just is! 

woosan are already really clingy on their own and when you come along?? you all can’t keep your hands off each other!! ya know how in movies there’s the whole “hand in the back pocket of your jeans???” woosan!! 

their energy together is so fkn chaotic but that's why you love them! they never fail to make you laugh and this is also the best way that they know how to cheer you up! 

Bc the three of you are a bit unbridled, it’s a bit hard to be serious at times when you go on dates/hang out with friends together so often you get some affectionate eye rolls haha 

wooyoung is someone that will try anything with you! hehe even if he knows that he mind not be that into it, he’ll still go with you! of course, he might say something snarky but he really does love just spending time with you! wooyoung also shares you with all his friends (changbin, yeonjun) so lowkey it feels like you’re one of the bros at times LOL 

san is a big fan of giving you gifts! oh also! words of affirmation too, san is someone who knows your insecurities well, so hypes you tf up all the time!! he especially loves buying things for you that he knows you’ll look pretty in just so he can compliment you ahhh 

at the end of the day however, there’s nothing more more that the three of you love than the tightest cuddles ever as you fall asleep! honestly, sometimes its a little too tight haha 

nsfw 

THESE BOYS FKN RAVISH YOU LIKE YOU’RE A FIVE COURSE MEAL 

and of course they expect the same from you as well! i mean....can you blame them??? these boys are sexy as hell and they frickin’ know it!! 

i have this super clear image of both of them stripping you down and rubbing massage oil all over your body and then giving you the turn to do it to them my lord...

sort of along this line, temperature play makes these boys feral. wax, ice, blowies with popsicles you name it 

both of them really just like being touched all over because they have the prettiest dancer’s bodies and just feeling hands on their muscles makes them loose it. 

wooyoung loves to mark the hell out the both of you in a really territorial way: all over your chests and necks even on your thighssss 

san, while he often does find himself in sub space, really easily can switch to dom you in the most beautiful way. everything with him is really intimate and raw: if this wasn’t already obvious haha he would like have a hand kink and loves seeing the way that his fingers look pumping in and out of your entrance and how your juices look as well. 

back too wooyoung, he’s the king of oral. whether it’s going down on you and sucking at your clit or deep throating with master level skill...foreplay is never boring with him! 

in my brain, i can see the both of them filling nearly position so this makes for an interesting dynamic to say the least AHA 

every once and a while, they’ll let you take complete control of the both of them while they just sit back and watch you with the most smug-ass grins that you’ll see in your life! 

AH another thought: woosan fkn love when you squirt on them, in any way this might look: when you’re nearly screaming in your overstimulation they want it all over them. 

favorite position would be 69 threesome style with all of your sloppy moans in-between <3 

♡  moonbae  ♡

sfw 

HEAR ME OUT the king of soulmates that know that they are soulmates but don’t take it seriously in the slightest istg this is my most favorite dynamic ahhhh 

there is not one dull day with these two boys, they’ll have you laughing in stiches until you can barely breathe like, the best kind of wheezy, silent laughter ya know what i’m talking about 

INSIDE JOKES literally so many inside jokes with the three of you 

Kevin is never scared to call your ass out, but that’s bc he knows you so well!! it’s all just jokes don’t ya worry ;) 

Along this line, your groupchat like has some random-ass name that’s also an inside joke

Jacob on the other hand is the biggest sweetheart when it comes to you, boy frickin’ melts. There is not a day that goes by when he hasn’t told you he loves ya morning and night. 

Also the best listener in the whole world, you can tell him anything and everything and he’s just sit and listen and give advice. 

Kevin loves you a ton a ton but just shows it differently! He remembers all the little things about you that you tell him to the point it’s scary how he does it so well 

Meme king Kevin would send you memes that remind him of you and Jacob

Lowkey i can see the both of them getting into the cutest petty arguments like which one of them you love more or think is more talented AHA again it’s all in good fun hehe 

it goes without saying but...it’s cuddle central up in here. 

THEY WOULD SERENADE TF OUT OF YOU oh my god it’s literally heavenly, Kevin would play piano and Jacob would play guitar FRICK 

You have oddly specific dates?? Like they would pick a movie to go see that the three of you would all hate just to meme the whole time. Jacob would still get invested accidentally tho. 

The way to both of these boy’s hearts is their stomachs so when you cook for them they would quite literally do anything for you 

nsfw 

ok ok so i’m a baby deobi so this is the gist of what i’m getting (i also did a little research LOL thank you @ deobi smutblr hehe) 

firstly i would like to say that i’m manifesting thigh riding with Jacob and i literally can’t think of anything else for some reason just p h e w and BOY does he love it too he thinks its so fkn cute to watch you! 

i get heavy, heavy switch vibes from Kevin with maybe some sub leanings??? either way, jacob def has soft dom vibes (oh god and occasional soft sub) to me but also has no problem with you taking control and doing what you like to him if that’s what you desire! 

kevin is impatient impatient and does not do well with your teasing. also...loud as hell, like, sometimes you have to tell him that he needs to calm tf down hehe (but of course you love it when he gets like that) 

separately, both of them are very different experiences i think: kevin is a fan of hard and fast, kitchen counter over the sofa type stuff sloppy toppy in risky places, and he loves to experiment too! 

jacob is also really different where he likes much, much more slow and intimate stuff like missionary, shower sex, real atmospheric stuff like candles and nice scents ahhh BIG fan of really fluffy pet names too like baby, princess, angel etc. super visual too omggg gets hard when you strip for him i think ;) 

together it’s a fkn whirlwind i’ll tell ya that. its like, honestly the most unique experience i can think of on this list because the two of them are so different. i will say that it can end up being really giggly and sweet tho! 

when it’s the three of you, kevin’s dom side comes out a little more so you’re left with these two lovely boys who want to give you all the attention! it’s lowkey a competition lol 

favorite position is when you’re sucking jacob off and kevin gets to do literally whatever the hell he wants with your pussy...i imagine that it might have to do a lot with edging if you ask me ;) 

♡ jookyun  ♡ 

sfw

oddly, i find myself soft af for jookyun and idk how to describe it haha (considering that they can often be hard as hellll) 

the three of you are also really nonchalant, but this is really in the way that you just feel as if you’ve known eachother for a really long time! 

as we know, jookyun were a bit of an enimies to lovers arc (AHA) so with the time that they’ve spent building their bond, it’s strong asf! 

i like to think that jooheon and changkyun would really get a ton of artistic inspiration from you for their music. since both of them write and often reflect bc of this, you’re totally their muse! (they’ll write some nasty as hell lyrics thanks to you too LOL) 

while our lovely thicc mx boys have unbridled confidence at times, really, they are babie. and they are frickin weak for your pampering. 

because of this, the two of them would become flustered as all hell when you do lil things for them!! this could be making them some lunch or just giving them the off compliment that they look a lil extra handsome that day. 

your safe place is with them!! ahhh i would also like to add the number of slick ass grabs when you’re in public is a bit off the chain at times ahah 

the duality of this r/ship is really something to note LOL when you go out and about when the two of them you certainly get some stares bc they look a lil intimidating at times but when you and your boyfriends cuddle up on the subway you give all passerby's whiplash haahah

Kyun is someone who is insanely romantic. almost to the point that it is cheesy haha he’d treat the both of you to expensive ass dinners, beach vacations and maybe even matching couple’s jewelry like rings or bracelets! 

jooheon on the other hand is a little more toned down haha but has another side to him that fkn swells with pride knowing how breathtaking you both are...frankly, his ego skyrockets knowing that he’s got you both for arm candy if this make sense teehee 

the three of you call eachother “babe” interchangeably, so it can get a bit confusing when you’re all in the same place and someone says “hey babe?” you need a new nickname ooP 

nsfw 

hello and here i am to push the sub!changkyun agenda. first and foremost i would like to explain how this man is such a pillow princess with the most lovely bratty edge *sighs* all that kyun wants is for you to fkn use him and do literally whatever the hell you want!! this man daydreams about you riding him right then and there wherever the hell he is. 

also, kyun is the king of toys, both using them on you and on himself! need i also say breath play as well in the same giving and receiving form? more than anything he loves it when jooheon wraps his hand around his neck hooooly ahhh he prefers it when you tease his tip with a vibrator until he’s angrily red and begging for you to give him a break just for you to bend down and give a kiss to his pearly head which makes him jolt 

jooheon is often more of a soft to hard dom if you ask me and takes care of both you and kyun really well. also... he will manhandle the hell out of you if you feel up for it (cough cough your arm kink for him ) oh shit and his thighs....don't’ even get me started 

while the three of you often opt for the hard and fast (even in some more risque places--such as in the recoding studio) there are really some more intimate times that you share too! 

on one of changkyun’s vacations, in the middle of the night, when no one was in sight and the hot tub was free for use...it started out as a bit of making out but then turned into something else when you decided to straddle jooheon and he let his hands creep under the straps of your swimsuit...needless to say you were bouncing on both of their dicks while you were warmed by the crackling bubbles 

at times, jookyun can get a little needy and impatient without you, so this has lead to a couple situations where you walk in on them letting out their frustrations ;) of course, immediately then they’d love for you to join! 

kyun has an oral fixation too, sooo he may or may not love cockwarming with his mouth or sucking your fingers lightly when you go to suck his dick~ 

♡  junhao  ♡

sfw

here me out with this one...but...there’s something really intimate about this relationship?? oh how to put this into words LOL junhao also have an insanely deep bond that really transcends if ya ask me haha 

while they both can be really goofy around eachother when comfortable the soulmate vibes are just...immaculate! this is all i can say? all three of you are just so connected in the way that you accept each other for all that you are and just kind of naturally gravitate towards each other even before you really knew that there were romantic feelings involved! 

first, i would like to say that out of all the pairings on this list, you three are classy as FUCK. seeing the three of you next to eachother is like seeing literally three models in the flesh. the way that you dress (sometimes even to match a little) is unbelievable bc you all just look so good? 

hand holdingggg wherever you go! holding hands across cafe tables, playing with each other’s hands absentmindedly hehe 

TRAVEL BUDDIES you would go anywhere with them and take tons of pics!! i mean the prettiest pics 

hao shows his love for you in the form of so many things, all of which he makes himself!! you inspire his physical art and drawings which he shares with you and he also loves to take clothes too and personalize them for you! 

jun on the other hand would take you to the studioooo and you could watch him danceee oh my gosh he’s literally so breathtaking and he would be dancing just for you with every curve of his body he’s so magical :’) then he’d ask you for feedback and you’d just be speachless...also loves to make you smile!! just being his goofy self he’s the best at it and thinks you’re so cute! 

there’s a ton of adoration in this relationship! tons of cute little displays of skinship that might look like a poke in the cheek or the fluffing of their hair ahh 

still, i feel like you would have kind of silly little nicknames for them that match their personalities and perhaps...you could have matching phone cases with these nicknames.... 

in this relationship there’s a ton of quiet moments that are really peaceful and indulgent such as watching sunsets, drinking wine together, just talking about life n stuff like that! 

nsfw 

hellz yeah we’re in for some more intimate-ass fuckin! but also....😏

this boys are kinky as shit but in like a really classy ass way lolll this is so hard to put into words. 

well, i’ll start with junhui catboy agenda so there’s that hehehe he would most def be into pet play: that could be like ears or pretty collars and of course calling you (or him) kitten. 

minghao is really versatile and doesn’t really like labels of dom and sub, he just does what he wants and what feels good to him! bc we’re talking about how intimate everything is, the kind of sex that you share with them is often never rushed but really purposeful and even planned sometimes! 

i also see there being TONS of sensory items that would come into play with junhao such as flowers, fragrances, aphrodisiacs, all kinds of fabrics for sensory deprovision such as velvet, silk, hemp rope, and so much more! 

BOTH OF THEM WOULD SOUND ANGELLIC i see hao as letting out really pretty soft moans that kind of trail on his tongue and jun sort of choking out gasps with a bit of a rasp to them when they cum or they feel turned on

oh god MIRROR SEX that's what i have to say about this 

it doesn’t happen often, but sometimes when any one of you would be feeling needy or pent up they can certainly do hard and fast with you between the two of them. especially when this happens, oh my god hao loves it when you moan really breathily into his mouth when you’re pressed against him ooooh shit 

and jun loves it when you bite into his shoulder too when he fucks you it just makes him feral 

actually, i could really see the three of you recording yourselves, or even taking pictures when you have more intimate moments to look at later, just for your own enjoyment or to get off when you’re without the others 

favorite position: hmmm mirror sex with you on top of minghao literally just kissing him and marking his body as jun eats you out until you’re dripping down to minghao’s cock which he jerks off too~ 

♡  yeonbin  ♡

sfw 

DON’T TOUCH ME IM SOFT  

admittedly i don’t know too much about this pairing but i do know a lil so i wanted to add them!! i also did a lil research hehe 

FIRST i would like to say that the three of you would without a doubt have the cutest puppy together, if not one, then two!! they would be little dogs with perfect haircuts and likely have their own instagram account which the three of you would run! they’d be instragram famous of course 

LITERALLY EVERY DAY ITS A FIGHT OVER WHOS CUTEST i kid you not this is an ongoing battle you’re all just...so weak for the other ahaha 

being in a relationship with them is like being in a relationship with your bestfriends! 

dates with the two of them can really range all over the place bc you just like having fun together! movie dates, breakfast dates, ZOO OR AQUARIUM DATES, taking little trips to places you haven’t been before or stay at home dates like having a little indoor picnic! 

soobin is really low energy, and would often opt to hang out with you at home or at a cafe while the two of you do your thing together! he lovessss when you bake or cook for him, literally whatever it is he’ll eat it! 

his smile is instant serotonin and the reason why you fell in love with him! the two of them together all smiley is your lockscreen! 

yeonjunie prefers going out with you clothes shopping and would DEF enable you to dye your hair a color that you’ve always been dying to do! he also loves showing you new music and blushes like heck when you tell him that you like the songs that he picks! 

in their own playful ways too, they’d always call you out on your bs LOLL but they just wanna motivate you! they’re your biggest cheerleaders! 

Deep down though, both of them are quite cheesy and would love to shower you with alll the stereotypical romance that you can take even if it makes all three of you cringe ahahah 

nsfw

NEEEEDY and literally so mf horny on the dl like it’s comical to how soft and shy they can be in real life situations 

oh my god this is a godly thought but i see both of them being both switchy as heck but not really bc they like how it feels to be in those different postions but literally....bc no matter what it is they are getting off lolll 

i see both of them having sub leanings but can get real bratty if they’re feeling it. 

yeonjun does have a dom side to him that just comes with his general confidence that he gets around you! when either of you beg from him he’s ready to let himself loose. 

im so sorry but they literally handed pet play to me on a silver platter with cat & dog and there is no going back for me. SO you’re in for puppy, kitty and bunny play (shhhh yeonjun’s got his fox ears too) 

WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT HOW ALL OF YOU WOULD LIKE THIGH HIGHS

both of them love being edged to high hell by you...no matter if it hurts...they kinda like it? 

at the same time, both of your boyfriends also love giving you all the attention at times too! i’m talking about one of them playing with your breasts while the other trails kisses down your body all the way down to your pussy aching for attention too

FUCK this might be just me but soobin eating you out>>>> a GODLY sight. 

i have this other fantasy of yeonjun with either lip piercings or nipple piercings or even a dick piercing someone plz tell me to calm down 

oh please...bubble bath with the two of them holy shit baby pink bubbles all around you while you take turns givin’ each other cute kisses ahhhh 

one more thing to the pile here would be hella mutual masturbation soo much of it. the three of you get off just simply watching eachother too and dirty talking how much you love the way the others look with hands rubbing themselves away with cute whiny moans~ 

♡ taekook ♡

sfw 

omg! this is my first time remotely talking about bts on my blog hehe this is so exciting!! i don’t really read too much bts ff so this is going off of my own perception! 

i just wanna say....there’s so much to unpack here LOL but like many of the soulmates on this list, these boys are ~whipped~ for you and eachother!! its so stinkin’ cute 

another thing about these expensive boyfriends is that they loooove to sing for you too! they’d sing you to sleep, when you’re sick, sad, or just had a hard day allllways hehe 

the three of you have sickeningly adorable nicknames for eachother, the kind that honestly make heads turn LOL 

jk would without a doubt get tattoos with you!! and wine drunk lollll he’s also a huge enabler so if there’s anything that you’re considering buying or doing he’d hype you up so bad you barely have to think twice heheh 

kinda like junhao they’d also make amazing travel buddies but less for the aesthetic, but for the luxury. you’d stay at amazing hotels and eat at Michelin star restaurants wearing luxury brands that they bought for you

i feel like this goes without saying, buuuut in this r/ship, its alll about the adoring glances from afar or even just right next to you bc they love you so much!! 

i also get a very protective vibe from them as well, you’re very special to them, and they never wanna see you in harms way or disrespected by anyone! this could even look like having their arm around you on the bus or on the small of your back in a crowd 

together, they’re the biggest jokesters and flirty as HELL they think that it’s so funny when they flirt out in public AGRESSIVELY just to make you a lil embarrassed hehe  

forehead kissessss and kisses on the back of your hand! 

nsfw 

luxurious in this area tooooo 

they would rent out the penthouse or presidential suite to make an evening for you and pull out all the stops: expensive champagne, lingerie selected just for you, a breathtaking view of the city ahhhh 

ya all know how much i love my soft and intimateeee body touching and there would be plenty of this! they take their time undressing you and eachother and would plant kisses into the nape of your neck and shoulders as you do so! 

i would like to contribute to this conversation sub!jk bc this is something that ahhhhh i really like to think about as well as soft dom tae bcccc why not heheh 

these boys are utterly gorgeous under soft lighting and prowling all over your body too tho ahhh 

BUT! imagine teasing the hell out of jk, barely letting him feel your mouth besides fleeting kisses while tae drives his hips into you from behindddd 

in fact, these boys actually don’t mind a little voyeurism with the wide windows in your suite, opting to leave them open so there's a bit of thrill in the way that they fuck you too~ 

tae has a bit of...dare i sayyyy a power kink, so when you call him names such as sir, daddy, master etc oh boy 

jk himself is bit into sensory dep specifically with blindfolds especially when its your hands travelling all around his body making him shiver. 

both of them just looove cuming all over you as well: face, ass, thighs, belly, literally anywhere, they just think that you look amazing like that! 

there are a couple times here and there when the three of you also do a bit of cam work together for other people to watch--although it isn’t often, you rake it in when you do so. the three of you are a perfect fantasy! 

sex also can happen in odd places with you three too since you can just start feeling it and don’t really care ;) strangest place....hmm i’d say when you joined the mile high club with them~ 

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz  @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

[arhvste]

ok the period hcs were super cute can i get the same bois from there but their s/o is being super clingy/needy? ily

yessir 🤠

-

KUROO, TSUKISHIMA AND YAMAGUCHI DEALING WITH A CLINGLY S/O

-

KUROO

kuroo isn’t bothered by pda it does depend where you are though

he’s used to kissing and hugging you most places but again it depends on his surroundings 

at home he’s more than happy to shower you with affection though

so today you’re feeling a little extra ✨clingy✨ for whatever reason

and you go to your boyfriend for a little bit of attention 

kuroo just so happens to be studying 

what a loser lmfao hudshfuidshf im joking kuroo ily 😔 

he’s sat there on the floor with his work spread out on the coffee table 

you’re not completely selfish 

but

you do want a little attention from your boyfriend even though he had only been released from your grip 30 mins ago 

he’s your unsuspecting target 

he’s so focused on his work he doesn’t even realise you’ve come in and snuck up behind him 

you wrap your arms around his shoulders and drape yourself over him 

kuroo has his little smirk on his face 

“extra clingy today aren’t we beautiful?”

press little kisses to his neck and his attention is all yours

he’s leaned back and pulled you onto his lap so your facing him and straddling his waist

“give me 20 more minutes and i’m all yours kitten”

he will happily work while your cuddled up with your face buried into the crook of his neck

kuroo is a man of his word and after 20 minutes he finishes up the module he had been going over 

he’ll keep you in that position for a little while longer

you start to whine that being on the floor is an uncomfortable position to which he laughs and gets up

“so whiny and needy today”

he isn’t actually bothered though 

he loves that you seek attention from him 

this man is willing to give the attention you crave 

kuroo is already pretty affectionate but if you’re whining and needy he’s more than happy to give you a little more 

just make sure you don’t cling to him too often though because being a third year and a captain of a powerhouse school does require a little genuine work and focus

most of the time he’ll give into your pleads for attention 

-

TSUKISHIMA

lmao good luck getting this boy to give into your needs for affection 

tsuki is straight up rude to you when you start showing displays of over affection and clinginess 

“get oFF me y/n”

“you’re so rude tsukishITma”

he will absolutely shove you off him 

this man is r u t h l e s s 

he lowkey is willing to give you what you want but he wants to see how far he can push it first 

it’s literally a 1on1 battle between you two 

it’s a case of seeing if your persistence is stronger or if tsukishima’s resistance is stronger 

irritate him 

do it

he will have to give in

that’s one of your most effective methods you’ve discovered

tsukishima cannot stand irritating people 

so if you annoy him enough he will eventually give in and cuddle with you

“you’re so anNOYING!!”

“admit it you love me kei 😌”

if he’s in a bad mood though avoid doing this 

it will genuinely drive him away 

if he’s in a bad mood being clingy is something you’re going to have to avoid im afraid 

because when he’s in a bad mood he will be the one clinging to you

you can’t tell anyone that though or else 😠

when you are being clingy to him he secretly does find you cute

he’s not huge on pda but when you’re alone he’s capable of cuddling and somewhat smothering you 

he likes it when you wrap yourself around his body when you guys are laying down on his bed or the couch or something

omg PLEASE cling to one of his legs when he tries to walk 

“y/n please refrain from clinging to me like im your personal climbing frame”

“why? scared im gonna snap your twig leg?”

he’ll kick you tf off hfdsufsdb 

“no kei i was joking come back 😔✊🏽”

generally he will give you the affection you want

you just can’t expect it straight away 

but that’s something you’ve grown used to by being with him and it won’t bother you

because in the end you both know he’ll give in

-

YAMAGUCHI

yams is the man you want when you’re feeling clingy

this boy will give into it straight away

he’s not annoying like the other two boys

he won’t make you wait or tease you

just ask for affection and he’s got it ready to give to you

he loves loves loves cuddling you 

to him you’re the cutest thing 

“tadashi cuddle me!”

“of course love”

when you guys first start dating he is a little shy though

but he’ll grow into being more affectionate towards you as your relationship progresses 

if you’re feeling needy he is ready to provide

you’re hungry? he will cook whatever you want

you’re cold? he has several hoodies of his you can choose from AND a selection of blankets

you’re tired? he will 100% take a nap with you even if he isn’t particularly sleepy

he wants to make sure you’re every need is attended to

this boy is fragile though

so please don’t make him feel like you’re taking advantage of him and his natural kindess

i know you won’t but still 

yams knows you appreciate him an equal amount 

i know this boy will carry you around 

he is willing to adapt himself to let you be clingy while he’s doing something 

he isn’t huge on pda either because he’s shy

but when you two are in the comfort of your own homes he’ll be affectionate and cuddly with you

he loves when your laying against his chest and his arms are wrapped around your chest 

he likes to bury his face into the back of your neck

this is so you can’t see when he’s blushing

overall he is the best boy to go to when you’re feeling a little clingy and needy

because he loves nothing more than to make you happy 

[dwellordream]

“…Prague, and medieval Europe more generally, as I will never tire of telling you, were sites of legal and legitimate sex work. After all, unmarried men needed a sexual outlet so they didn’t get too horny and tear their cities apart, and fourteenth-century Prague was one hell of a city that emphatically did not need a bunch of sex-crazed dudes messing with it.

Prague was very much in the ascendancy at the time, having been pumped full of money and prestige by friend of the blog the Holy Roman Emperor Charles IV (1316-1378). His whole thing was creating Prague as a viable static Holy Roman imperial capital, ideally tied to the succession of his own Luxembourg dynasty. In order to do this he spent a whole bunch of time building new churches and monastaries, expanding the city walls, rebuilding the castles both in and out of town, and basically doing the civic spending that makes cities boom.

So to build all these churches, walls, paved streets, and new houses a bunch of new migrants showed up to do the work. This was all well and good if you were a dude. There extremely was paid work to be done. If you were a woman and showed up cuz you heard money was going to be handed out, there were fewer options to choose from though. If you didn’t want to be a washerwoman, or a housemaid, it was hard to get a foothold in one of the most sophisticated cities in Europe.

There were guilds and old families who controlled the trades, and women in general had fewer choices in terms of employment if they weren’t connected to a family or man. However, all those men who just showed up to the city sans family had a chunk of change in their pockets, and the brothels needed workers so there were a few institutions where women could always find work.

The legal institutions had been the brothels Venice, Hampays, and Obora. After my boy Jan Milíč z Kroměříže’s (d. 1374) got Charles IV to abolish the Venice brothel and give it to him so he could just chill with a bunch of ex sex workers and other preachers, that left two official municipal brothels. Hampays was over on the river near the Jewish Quarter, and Obora was in the Lesser Town up on the hill near the wall and the castle.

Obora and Hampays function here in much the same way OnlyFans does now. These were legal institutions that were following the legal strictures put in place to do sex work. There is no real way to think of medieval institutions or individuals as being imbued with rights (Magna Carta freaks, I am looking at you), but one could say that had legal permissions. They had municipal charters from the city that said that they could do sex work in these places, and so they did it.

How do we know that they had legal permissions to be there? Well because some of the forerunners of Exodus Cry extremely fucked around and found out.

Here I am speaking of the adventures of one Master Ulrich, the priest of St Nicholas in the Lesser Town who came to my attention for being a massive fucking crybaby in the Archdeaconate Protocol of 1379-1382. Essentially this was an exercise wherein a new Archdeacon, Pavel of Janovice came into power and went from church to church asking if anyone had any religious problems he could sort out.

Master Ulric was like, “Yeah I am a big whiny baby, and I keep trying to shut down the Obora brothel. I have on several occasions run up in there, and chased all the sex workers who were just trying to work and make a living out of there.” To Ulrich, much like these Exodus Cry basics, depriving these women of a livelihood with absolutely no recourse to any help when he did so was a good thing because sex is bad and you should feel bad for selling or buying it.

The thing is, absolutely no one agreed with Master Ulrich. Quite to the contrary, he was complaining because every time he pulled this stunt, the city magistrates, alerted by the sex workers showed up and kicked him TF out of their brothel because what they were doing was perfectly legal. This is how we know that Obora probably had a charter, because the city magistrates sprung in to action to do the right thing and support the sex workers when they made a complaint.

Was it their favourite thing to ever happen? I very much doubt that it was! However, that didn’t matter because just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean you get to interfere with people who are just trying to make a living, and the magistrates knew that.

So it was Master Ulrich and his massive fucking L – which the Archdeacon informed him he was going to have to take – that I thought of when OnlyFans reversed their whole “no more tiddy pics” policy. Because what happened – very hearteningly – is that when they tried it, sex workers got mad, and everyone who supports them showed up to yell at OnlyFans.

Exodus Cry, much like Master Ulrich before them, massively overestimated the appeal of the whole “sex is always bad” campaign, and it turns out people want to support and help sex workers instead of impoverishing them. OnlyFans got pushback, the banks who allegedly wanted this in the first place would much rather take money and not get yelled at, and the whole October 1 deadline has been suspended. This is a feel-good story.

I am not saying that sex work in and of itself is necessarily “good”. In fact, I am completely unwilling to label sex as a whole “good” as I am out here on team sex critical. Moreover, I am absolutely not going to tell you that “work” is good either. It is bad but we have to do it in order to survive in our garbage society. What I am saying, and as I have written about before, is that depriving people of their livelihood with absolutely no plan to support them after you do is extremely bad. Sex workers have a right to a safe and dignified way to make a living, and taking that away from them is not helping anyone.”

- Eleanor Janega, “On the power of pushing back against the marginalisation of sex workers.”

[monstermaster13]

Werebelushi:

It has come to my attention that Russell Brand has been targetted as of recent for…behavior he used to do? Aaaaw come on. This is getting ridiculous. So many stupid accusations, you know…if these women claim he actually did those things why did they very much say it to the media instead of you know…the authorities? When Nathan had that document that was made about him in which he accused of being transphobic, a lot of what was said in the document was taking his comments on Avianine's artwork out of context, he wasn't harrassing Avianine…heck, he used to like her up until the Changed shit happened, look, just because he doesn't like Puro or Changed in general doesn't mean he thinks goo transformation in general is bad. And yeah the only reason he got accused of transphobia is because of a rant I did, which is stupid because I very much clarified my very reason for doing the rant.

The reason I did that anime tf rant is because I didn't like the ones I had seen, mainly just because they did nothing for me, oh they were well-written, just come on…can't I get at least one character tf where someone doesn't lose their memories? At the time I did not like the idea of turning into an anime character because of the stories in which those happened and those stories where about some random YCH (Your character here) being forcibly transformed, and that had nothing to do with the author or the artist or anything to do with them. To put things into context, I support any and all gender identies, even non-binary or even if you identify as a floating orb with lots of eyes, when one of Nathan's former friends came out as trans, Mel supported that person. So the accusations of Nathan being transphobic just because of my rant which I admit was terrible and I should have chosen my words more carefully, was bullshit.

And was the grooming thing…okay, so how does a series of RPs with a FICTIONAL character/OC count as grooming? Nothing sexual even happened in those RPs, and besides in context - i'm going to put it like this: Nathan was cursed to turn into a character who in the original source material is a villain and is thus turned evil, in the RPs he very much portrayed the character when cursed as being like that, and yes…he is ashamed to have done that because of the mind change, and he was brainwashed into making said character evil and into a monster like him, it was just an RP and that's not what grooming is. And before you are all 'oh, Nathan's just being a coward and using you as a mouthpiece' and bla ba bla heard those insults before you don't need to use them on me.

And those Pokemon tfs Mel did…those people who documented Nathan for the purpose of humilating him took them out of context. A lot of those people who were turned into Pokemon before, were people from either Encyclopedia Dramatica, Kiwifarms or from the Deviantart forum who made fun of Nathan for numerous stupid reasons including his choice in fursonas, you aren't mean to act like 'oh that's just being a childish douche', especially when all of those people were harrassing HIM and not the other way around. And nobody ever sympathizes with sites like those. You don't see people acting like EZ-PZ is 100% right when he does his bullshit Youtube essays about animation that exist only to ride on the coat-tails of Turkey Tom, do you? And for the record the people on the Deviantart art forum that mocked him, those posts were from SEVERAL FUCKING YEARS AGO, when he was being mocked for trying for his characters. And yes, there were some users characters on here that Mel really hated like Dylan aka the Clown Fetish Guy as I call him and Joe aka The World Domination Guy as I call him, but only because Dylan is a pervert who thinks that clowns and stereotypes are a type of tf or a species and Joe as a character is a jerkass and a whiny brat as a person.

For pete's sake, the person who played Joe very much acted like Nathan was in the wrong for having a different opinion than him over fucking Skyrim and Fire Emblem and ratted him out to BrandonKong, as if Brandon cares about what this person's personal drama at all, Joe, Brandon is your friend, not your personal army or your mother. You can't go telling him to go after every single person who you had a problem with. You claim you respect opinions yet you act like it's wrong for Nathan to hate Skyrim even though he finds it tedious and boring for valid reasons? You act like Mel sucks the fun out of everything? Joe, your character is a dickhead who always attempts to assimilate everyone, if this is supposed to be you as yourself, then I have the feeling nobody is going to believe you are anything but a horrible person. Look, a jerk character can work well, but you aren't Bojack Horseman or Rick Sanchez.

Nathan and Brandon are NOT enemies, he only made fun of Brandon's tastes on occassions and even that was taken out of context because he didn't understand why Brandon used to do all those questionable RPs with people like Joe and Dylan, at the time he thought the RPs were real, and he didn't know Brandon was playing a fictional version of himself…have I ever questioned Brandon's choices in tfs? Yes, a few times. But I didn't say he couldn't like monkeys or apes or that he couldn't hang out with those people. I just hated the RPs, not the person behind them, just the characters he chooses to RP with. I like his OCs, I like Brainy Kong…he is a cool character. It's just the ones we've reviewed on this show, we've treated as actual episodes in-universe and oh boy were those episodes awful…there was the Zootopia one with the sheep orgy, the one that bastardized Nathan's gorilla character and then derailed into one of those grossest sex orgies I had ever seen (not to mention…huh? The real Doctor Gorgo showed up and Brandon's character was a rubber clone of him, and in the previous episode Dylan's character very much Buffalo Billed Brandon by wearing him as a rubber gorilla suit, then there was the one where he tried to make Brandon into a dumb gorilla, for pete's sake the whole middle half of the second sample was just them arguing over and over about Kong names. I mean..Brandon had a point, Kongs have a personality trait and that personality trait goes with their name, being bad-smelling ISN'T a personality trait, it's like if you had a drug-addicted Kong OC and named him Stoney Kong because get it..he's a stoner),

Does it really matter how old Nathan was during the time of the RPs or how old the other person was? No, it isn't..it isn't anyone's buisness to question how old someone else is when they do something like online roleplaying because it's just fictional, it's not real. How many times must I explain this to you? I have nothing against character transformations if you want to turn into a character you like, but do you have to be hypersexual and creepy about it? Do you have to make it so you do mind changes? That's what ruins character tfs, not the person who makes them.

Anyway back to the Russell Brand allegations, me and Russell used to be enemies but now we've gotten along as friends. And honestly, why now? He gave up his rebellious rocker wannabe persona ages ago.

[goodguydotmp3]

two questions: why don’t you like harry and do you really think harry villanized the weed video or do you think that was the people attempting to court him (azoffs)

Whew, this is a long one folx!

Why don’t you like Harry [Styles]?

Let me preface this response by saying that I’m a pretty new “fan” if one can still call me that. I got into the One Direction fandom in the summer of last year, and much of my opinions of the boys where shaped by fan reactions. After gathering more and more information however, I realized that the fandom and I were wrong about some things, and over hyping others. 

Still, it wasn’t until this year that I actually broke out of the Harry-centric bubble to realize that the shady goings on where much worse than I originally thought. Add to this my realization that Harry’s music really doesn’t withstand the test of time, and that his persona is pretty Stagnant, and I’ve come to feel rather bamboozled.

Of course I know that the entire point of his PR team is to sway public opinion of him one way, and if I ate it up that was part of the plan. That doesn’t mean I have to like it. It also doesn’t mean I feel any less hurt about it. It also doesn’t mean that I like when other people fawn over him, as quite a lot of what I’m going to say has been public knowledge, and some of it before I was even a fan.

A. Music

 Actually getting to a big part of the problem here, his music isn’t good. Well, not long term like I said in the preface. He doesn’t really have much of a vocal range despite being a singer for more than ten years. He does not care and acts like he does, often leading to him sounding like he’s screaming instead of singing. He’s lyrics are boring and flat, and his melodies are fine, they just don’t make up for his unmemorable lyrics. I personally think that the cause is him more heavily relying on song writers to fill in more in more, but that’s mostly because I don’t want to believe that the same person who wrote Happily and Olivia also wrote At the Dining Table and Treat People With Kindness, because that would just mean he’s getting worse or putting forth less effort. 

Of course one could argue that I’m not a professional, I don’t have the necessary Jargon to correctly critique, and I’m no longer a singer so I can’t even do what he does. But to that I say fuck off. I know what sounds good! I know what I like! 

Even more than that though, If you bought a product (non food), and you could only use that product for the first two weeks you bought it, you’d say it was a shit product! You’d scream from the rooftops that no one should ever buy this product because it’s crap! Well guess what? I pre-ordered Fine Line just to listen for two weeks and never pick it up again except for golden, she’s a funky tune every couple months. 

Besides the test of time, there is still the subject of actual talent/listenability if you will. I feel there’s four main categories when I listen to music that makes it worth listening to

1.Amazing voice

2.Awesome lyrics

3.Funky/ cool ass melody/Beat

4.Catchy as hell

Now, a song doesn’t need to be all four, however the more they have the more likely I am to like the song. Also, I’ve said “main categories” because I’ve definitely had songs were I just through the beat drop was cool, or maybe the bridge was sick as hell, or maybe I just liked the pacing or the way the singer/singers stressed a note. Alternatively there is a sweet spot for me of super depressing lyrics but a melody/ that makes you want to dance. See: most of After Laughter by Paramore, Lola By Mika. But in general, those four usually make me love a song long term.

If it’s an album, it usually Just has to sound like it belongs on the same album/ tell a story. Like I really don’t like albums that sound like it’s just a playlist of songs personally. I should be able to listen to a song and go “oh yeah, that’s off --- album” or I didn’t like the album as a whole. An album is a bit like an outfit to me. It’s not going to be all tops, nor does it need to be monochromatic, but it does need to go together

For Example, I love Four as an album. I thought it was amazing. I still hate Spaces and Illusion. I hate both of their melodies, I don’t like the Illusion intro, I’m not to keen on those lyrics, and they’re definitely not catchy, I skip every time. 

So taking that logic to Harry’s music, I think HS1 works very well as an album, almost all of the songs sound like they’re supposed to be there. And I hate every song but Kiwi. The lyrics are boring/don’t make a ton of sense, the melodies definitely don’t make up for that, he doesn’t have the range, and none of them are catchy! And then you get to Kiwi and she’s got that vibe you know? She’s a pop punk bop and I cannot fucking believe that Harry has one pop punk bop among unmemorable pop rock album.

Going to Fine line, It’s not as great as an album. There are some songs that don’t really feel like they fit? Like just going through the album, cherry doesn’t have any business being there? Like the lyrics fit sure, but what is that weird intro and outro? It probably would have been fine If the song didn’t have those two, but having them there upset the pace a bit I felt. And then there was Treat People With Kindness, which was really Jarring and doesn’t feel like it belongs on the album at all? It  actually feels like it’s trying to be Kiwi - it’s loud and garish, and the lyrics are trying to be carefree, but! It just doesn’t work! TPWK sounds like Hippie music! Kiwi sounds like Brendon Urie could sing it and people would be like “good ol Panic!”. And then the album goes back down into Fine line the song, which again is Jarring because you’ve had this TPWK monstrosity right before it.

Then, looking at the overarching theme of his music, It’s whiny piss baby music He hates to take responsibility for his actions! It’s all in his lyrics! And don’t get me wrong, I love Honest lyrics, but not if the person is an asshole! LIke I fucking hate confessions by Usher specifically becasue he’s talking about how much he’s a piece of shit in the most whiny and piss baby way, making it all about him and no the people he hurt. I also really hate that one song that Zayn did with Usher and Chris Brown, because you have these awful men completely misunderstanding what it means to write a love song, and then you have Zayn at the very end all like “actually I really am in love tho…” Esp Chris browns verse! It boils down to “Hey I know I was a asshole seven billion times but I miss you tho :(“ GIRL BYE! 

Harry sounds the exact same though, Except he can’t even blame himself for his own mistakes, and just wades through self pity about how the object of his affection won’t love him even though he didn’t even do anything except it wasn’t his fault and why are you still mad it wasn’t even his fault and he was young and reckless and drunk and horny. Like??? WRITE A NEW SONG TAYLOR SWIFT 2.0! There’s only so much you can repackage the same narrative before it becomes stale no Cinderella does not count keep that shit coming. And It really jumps out in his writing, even through 1d, although I will say there were some catchy beats, and awesome lines to keep him afloat back then. Although wtf was Walking in the Wind??? Choke!

Then there are the melodies I’m talking post wondee here which often give this 70’s pop rock vibe. Which fine I guess, it’s his brand, but that doesn’t make it interesting. Or new. Or fresh. Or an interesting take. 

Now I completely understand relying on nostalgia to boost people’s opinion, but you could at leas have the decency to actually have good music. For Example, Miss you by Louis Tomlinson has a very distinctive pop rock feel, but it’s also an amazing song. Great lyrics, amazing voice, catchy liddle diddy that happens to be reminiscent of that 2005- 2010 punk pop/emo pop feel. Sour diesel has that like,,,basey 90s pop feel, and it fucking works with the lyrics, and of course his voice is beautiful. When Walls dropped and Lou put out that playlist of songs that were an inspiration, you can hear the influences when you listen to the album, but they’re also really good songs in their own right, with amazing lyrics, and Louis’ distinctive voice. Comparing that to Harry, it seems like he’s mostly relying on people’s nostalgia rather than actually good music.

Okay so this last point I’m making on music is a little petty but it’s been like a week and I’m still pissed about it so I’m saying it now. Someone said that Harry Styles is the best pop rock artist right now???? Just admit that you don’t listen to pop rock tf. Louis Tomlinson is right there. Brendon Urie is right there. Mika is right there. Haley Williams is right there. Janell Monae is right there. I don’t listen to a lot of pop rock lol but i feel my point has been made

B. Public Persona

He get’s so much clout! SO MUCH CLOUT! For doing the bare minimum (this is not specifically about the fandom, that’s for later)! People will write all these glowing reviews of him for him??? Being polite??? Like okay and? Just because a person is polite doesn’t mean they’re fucking Jesus??? There’s a million and one stories so i’m not fucking looking them up but there’s the pizza story and the fish story and the plane story and the snl story and the Stormzy story and the WS story on and on and on! Stop giving this man brownie points for basic human decency. “I didn’t expect him to be like that!” okay is that because of their perception of what a rock star is supposed to be like? Because in that case we need to start holding people accountable for being assholes. Or is it because he seems like an asshole. Cause valid.

I also don’t like him leaning so heavily on the queer image thing. Like! If that’s how he likes to express himself, Fine, But so much of it is just...so manufactured! And I Know I’ve heard people say oh well he wore the one rainbow on his lapel that one time or he wore the shirt or he wore the Keith Harring.

1. That Rainbow pin is sus as hell I don’t care what ya’ll say It absolutely screams set up, if he wanted to not be seen he would have not been seen 

2. That goes for literally every other time. I can’t believe it’s not a set up to push a queer image. (that he profits from!)

3. If he actually did his homework on Keith Harring he’d know that the man was a predator, and he wouldn’t have worn those shirts. It seems so performative! To add to that, does he know now? If so, why isn’t he using his platform to correct his mistake? Why didn’t he come out and let people know not to buy Harring’s stuff??? He knows the pull he has! He absolutely could have been like “I’ve made a mistake, if you are looking for queer artists to support, here’s some” But he fucking doesn’t

4. To add on to that last part, It is actually sus that he gets to profit off of this queer image, and yet the only queer voices that he’s propping up are white gays. And then not even directly? Not a “queer artists, esp queer artists of color are important and need their voices boosted because they are the back bone of society” but this wink nod type of deal, where again, he mainly boosts white gays.like??? One queer black woman that doesn’t work for the Azoffs, and then a bunch of white gays. Like?? That’s not racist to anyone else???????Just me? okay.

Now from a professional point of view, it’s even worse. I’m not saying that artists can’t be campy or blurr gender lines, or imply that they ‘re queer subtly. But I think it’s fucking disrespectful to play both ends. Like, he profits off of using the queer image, all while Dancing around the subject, but then on the back end he never says that Homophobes/Transphobes aren’t allowed in his fandom. He gives this empty ass tpwk and then washes his hands of it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am always upset when people who have lots of queerphobes in their fandom bullying and harassing the actual queer people never say anything to let queerphobes know they’re unwelcome (clearly money is better than morals) but for me it’s an extra kick to the gut for it to literally profit Harry to seem queer. Look at that time that  gay company sold out shirts in less than an hour,because harry was wearing it and tell me people aren’t throwing money at him because they feel he’s queer. 

C. Fashion

This one is a really rough one for me because this is partially what drew me into Harry in the first place. But he’s really not all that in terms of fashion. He’s expensive certainly, but sometimes, the things that are more expensive are worse. Even When He’s not looking like a grandparent out on the town, his style is very dated, and yet he gets paraded around like he’s the freshest new thing?? Like who is his team paying of for him to get that many articles about how he’s fashion’s biggest star. And the thing is, his style is even dated for the mainstream. There’s already a post about how he copies prominent pop/pop rock stars of the 70s, which means that his style is 50 years old for the mainstream. Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s totally fine if you’re addicted to seventies wear. I don’t think he should be heralded as this huge fashion star if his wardrobe is this dated

Even more than that. Gucci???? The Gucci with a history of Racism?? The Gucci with the child labor??? The Gucci with the 14 hour days Gucci??? Ugly ass Gucci????? Soulja Boy don’t even fuck with Gucci no more and he fuck with Gucci since like 2007. (although that was because of the racism, not cause it’s ugly)

I think that bothers me the most though. Like it’s not enough to exploit people, you also have to be tacky ugly and expensive???? For what??? @Gucci cease to exist please.

If Harry wants to be tacky ugly and expensive, that’s of course his rights to do so! But don’t act like he’s at the very pinnacle of fashion every time he does. 

I’m actually always very conflicted about that. I personally prefer a style that’s very loud and campy and avant garde but like,,,,that ain’t it. Maybe it’s something you got it or ya don’t??? Like for example Billy Porter could wear a trashbag and make it work. The expensive sweaters and the slacks? The suits? Not a good look on one Harry Styles. Maybe it’s because they’re expensive sweaters and slacks and expensive suits. What are you, Ted from accounting??? Grow up.

D. Treat People With Kindness

Ugh this is the thing that pisses me off like the second to most. This phrase is so fucking empty. You could not have made up a more corporate mandated phrase if you fucking tried. It stands for nothing! Just like him!

Let’s break it down. “Treat people with kindness” is, at face value, a call to action. It’s asking you to do something. But it doesn’t actually tell you what to do!! So it’s pretty inoffensive! You don’t actually have to change your behavior in anyway for two main reasons:

1. What the hell is Kindness??? This phrase never actually says what it is??? It’s just this short little punchy thing that assumes you know what kindness is! What if you didn’t actually know? What if you have differing ideals of what is considered kindness? I mean to my mother, Misgendering me is kindness, but I don’t think that’s kindness. To my father, not letting his children have autonomy is kindness, but I don’t find that kind. And yet they could both use that phrase and feel confident that they go around treating people with kindness. After all they cooked dinner didn’t they? They smiled at Janice from public relations didn’t they? That’s kindness right?

2. It also assumes you know what “people” are. Queer people are people. Queerphobes don’t consider queer people, people. Racists aren’t going to consider some people, people. So they can continue their harassment and dehumanization of them and still be treating people with kindness, because they never harmed actual people (to them)

E. Harry bots

Bitch?? Corporate spies?? Tf ??? That’s not weird to ya’ll ?? I think the thing that shocked me more than someone from Colombia records admitting that he manufactures the hype around people signed to Colombia, is the fact that the Fandom been knew!!!! Ya’ll been knew and ya’ll wasn’t gon tell me???????? I just found out last week wtf????????

Another thing I don’t like about them Harry bots, is it’s one thing to hype up Harry, but why tf do they need to shit on the other boys??? Is it because they’re more talented, good looking, and charming??? How about you get good!!!! I esp hate that it’s usually Louis. What is Corporate’s obsession with putting Louis down like? What a bunch of fucking weirdos?? It’s not enough to be a Harry fan and live up his ass, I gotta hate Louis too?? You lost yo damn mind. If you reading this and you a spy? Die.

F. Capitalism

Honestly that should be the end of it but here the fuck we go I guess. Now I get that there is going to be some capitalism involved when you get music, especially mainstream music, there are tones of articles out there with people who used to be in the industry telling you about how fucking awful it is, all in the pursuit of money. (Which isn’t fucking real by the way! We made it up! People out here getting traumatized! Belittled! Bullied! Married off! So some corporation can make all the money! The Imaginary Credits! That we made up! I hate it here!) 

But it’s another fucking thing to participate in a capitalist system? He invested into that one sleep app, even going to do one of the voice sessions (So you could have Harry Styles themed sleep paralysis) and you pay for that! He makes money off that! It’s not enough that you buy his mediocre music or his ugly ass merch, you also have to give him money through the sleep paralysis app. 

Then there was that Google Camp for Rich People Only! I don’t even want to fucking hear that it was on Climate Change oh wow all the rich people took helicopters and Yachts to a resort with manicured lawns??? To talk about how they treat the environment? That’s not at all Counter intuitive! Not at all for show! Fucking disgusting.

Oh and the Covid Shirt! Really bitch??? You need to Profit off a deadly pandemic? Are you profiting off of AIDS next you fucking bastard. And he can of course get a tax write of for his “ charitable donation” fuck off.

G. Racism

This! This is the thing that gets me the most! YA’LL CAN EXCUSE RACISM???

No, I’m not talking about the Native American Headdress thing, that was plenty despicable on it’s own, No I’m talking about the on going racism. The whole, using black people for clout and then dropping them and never returning the favor when they sing his praises thing. Specifically I’m thinking of Sis the activist, Stormzy, and Lizzo. 

The Lizzo thing pisses me off the most actually. I think it’s very fucking convenient that Harry started taking interest in Lizzo after there was uproar from black fans noting his hypocrisy of performing for Pepsi (Notoriously racist) and Having BLM sticker on his guitar. So he shows up at one of her concerts dressed like a senior citizen that got lost on the way to the retirement home bathroom. She looked fucking amazing and he couldn’t put forth the effort to at least not look senile. Then there was the covering of her songs, and then there was the cuddling up with her at the awards show. Funny how I haven’t seen any interaction after the fact! And Of course everyone forgot about the Pepsi concert! Fuck all the way off!!

Also! Are we just never going to talk about the fact that he didn’t comment on the blm protests earlier this year until his team could gauge whether or not it would be profitable to do so by DATA MINING HIS FAN BASE???? And then when he actually did he got the most praise for it, truly fucking hate it here. Also when he marched with those protesters he made sure we knew it was him. There were posts flouting around everywhere on how to best cover up to make yourself completely unrecognizable should you wind up on camera or fucking worse, get attacked by the police. Funny how Close Sprouse could follow the advice and not Harry? Also supper funny how he got the hell out of dodge before things got super bad and I have not heard anything on the matter since. Guess what Harry??? We’re still out here fighting for the rights to exist! Still wanna have a photo op while our own government tries to squash us with force????? This is like that Jenner Pepsi ad but with sunglasses and a pandemic.

H. Fandom

I think I would hate him less if I didn’t have to hear about him every hour of everyday. Stop Hyping this man so much. Even after unfollowing and blocking a bunch of Harries and Larries he’s all across my dash. And twitter. And insta. KURTIS CONNER FUCKING LIKES HIM I JUST WANTED CRACK CONTENT AND NOW LOOK. 

I. Conclusion.

After writing all this I think the running theme is that Harry Styles isn’t even a person, he’s a brand. I do not like or trust brands! And I definitely don’t like being advertised to! Just like It’s fake as fuck when Absolut is all about queer rights, it’s fake as fuck when Harry does it too. Just like I know Target doesn’t actually care about Black lives, I know Harry doesn’t either. People are always like “oh he’s so nice!” no! He’s polite! There’s a difference. Zayn Is a truly kind person. Liam is a truly kind person. Louis is a truly kind person. It shines though so brightly all the time, and yet people are really out here worshiping the Brand Harry Styles. 

Do I think It was Harry or The Azoffs throwing Zouis under the bus. 

Truly doesn’t matter! Whichever one did it, Harry was totally fine with it! Which tells me that he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He’ll go along with anything as long as it gets him to the top, and that’s fucked up on one million and one levels