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#I am so bad at these im still learning how to make things look good. please forgive me
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self indulgent splatoon stuffs
(credit me if used.....)
the separate "i love" stamps under cut
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comradecowplant · 1 month
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so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.
#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS#youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao#i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol#to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting#she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3#anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel#THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now#telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this#so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly#turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly*#shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds...#but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷‍♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that#also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to#so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings#gender into conversations that it does not belong in#'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks#she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america...#girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!!#i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine#ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘
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flowerflowerflo · 2 months
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🤍𓂃 ࣪˖ if you can read this, it means you're still here! which is an achievement in itself. im so proud of you. <3
i have been falling back into some bad habits recently, and thinking about it a lot. i had a really, really bad night last night and this morning i woke up with puffy eyes and a messy room but i felt light.
imagine yourself in december this year. imagine yourself looking back on today and smiling at how far you've come. everything can change in one year. everything can change at any time.
there is a whole entire world for you. the sound of rain on the glass, the way the petals fall in the spring, the way the sun rises in the morning, that stranger that smiled at you on the street, that cute little dog you saw on your way to work or school or wherever you went to this morning.
there are people you haven't even met who are cheering you on. you have so many people admiring you from the sidelines because they're too shy to say it. i have been one of those people and still am. there are people who admire the tiniest things about you; the creases by your eyes when you smile, the cute little dimples on your cheeks, the way your hair gets so messy after being out in the wind, the way you hold yourself with such confidence, the way you try so hard to be better every day even if it's hard.
there are people who love you beyond belief that you've never even met yet. because there is so much to be explored, so much to be learnt, so much to see and so much to meet. 8 billion people. 8 billion. even if it feels like you're surrounded by people who don't love you, who don't want the best for you, who don't take care of you and admire you half as much as they should, they are not the last people in the world, and they never will be. there are 8 billion people! think about that for a second! there is someone who is wishing for you the way you are wishing for them! there are people who have so much love for you they haven't even had the chance yet to express!! that's so beautiful!!! <3
there are people who do love you beyond belief, even if you guys don't talk anymore. there are people who smile when they look back on you guys time together, from your childhood best friend to that girl you complimented in the street years and years and years ago. there are people who look back on your memory fondly and still love you and are so happy to see you flourishing.
its okay to be sensitive, its okay to get upset by things. not everything is going to be okay all the time, and neither are you. you can't have good without the bad, and the good always comes afterwards better than you'd ever imagined. life is feeling everything deeply and learning from it, no matter how hard it was or still is. you can always make it through because the most sensitive people are the strongest people.
there is so much life left. you are so young, no matter how old you are. there is so much you can do, so much you will do, so many achievements to be made, so many friends to meet, so many experiences you can learn from. you will get your happily ever after and you will make something beautiful out of your life because life is messy and imperfect and constantly growing and that is beauty.
please keep living, because there is so much to live for. even if you want to go back to that home of sadness you've built over the years, even if growth is messy and uncomfortable, even if things aren't going too great right now, even if it's not everything you thought it would be, you've survived your entire life with you helping you through it even if you've been alone.
you've picked yourself back up every. single. time. and are still making an active effort. that is extremely strong and you've done more than 90% of other people would do in your position and all the things you've been through. you've tried so hard and you should be so proud of yourself. and you should keep going for, because the life you're dreaming of is so close. please smile. please never give up. there is so much left to live for. i love you & you should do the same.
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multiverse-menagerie · 6 months
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I've had this buzzing around in my head since Neil posted something about Asrarion liking kids and hhhhhhhhhhhh may I please request your headcanons for the bg3 guys as dads, I am begging you
gnawing on this actually thank u
Astarion
his child/ren are his entire world. his partner is still like no.2 but the kid/s will always be no.1
its an Ordeal for vampire spawn to have children, so i think that'd make Astarion even more likely to devote himself to being the best father he could be
is absolutely the type to be like "this is my partner and our child/ren, they're way to good to be talking to you but alas"
he's the soft parent too, Astarion finds it so hard to punish his child/ren. both from fear of going too far and due to how much he adores them
dress up with dad days. Astarion with small, messy pigtails.
Halsin
daddy Halsin for real -wiggles eyebrows- (im sorry)
the type to load everyone up and go camping for however long, teaching the kid/s how to live off the land or showing off his wildshapes to entertain them
unwavering support for his child/ren (and his partner) - he tries his best to instill a sense of justice in his kid/s and respects any decision they make, assuming they can offer him a good reason
Halsin and his kid/s would Absolutely play little "pranks" on his partner, but its very harmless, silly stuff to make them laugh
his kid/s often begs to sleep with "bear dad", and who would he be if he declined?
Wyll
i honestly think Wyll is meant to be a "girl dad" lmao but he'd adore any child
he'd grown up with a (mostly) good dad who'd taught him swordplay and other practical skills and I think Wyll would want to do the same for his child/ren
he is So. Patient. willing to hear his child out about why they broke the rules, why they're acting out. He knows that sometimes there's a good reason for what looks like a bad decision
Wyll is the bedtime parent; he tells stories the best, according to the kid/s. sometimes Wyll will drag his partner into helping him out fun scenes
makes sure to have dinner with his family everyday, regardless of what type of life he's leading. they're the Most important thing to him in the world
Gale
stay at home, soccer dad vibes
is (surprisingly?) content to let his partner go off and adventure or what have ye, while he stays home with the kid/s, sneaking in some reading or experiments once they're asleep
is All In for his kid/s extracurriculars. of course he'd be happier for more ~magical~ endeavors but even if the kid is learning sword-work or some other physical thing, he'll be there to cheer them on
maybe pushes his kid/s a little too hard in regards to studying/school. Gale works hard to reign in his expectations - he knew how hard it was on himself, why do that to his kids?
the way his kid/s will have the most ostentatious vocabulary. but they also think its funny to mimic him in an even more over-the-top way bc it makes Gale's partner laugh
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nattyswann · 3 months
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I’m not that bad. Am I?
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Parings: sub!reader x dom!ace
Warnings: not really any warnings because most of this is just bickering between Ace and y/n but there is a bit of smut at the end!
Summary: if there was one thing you absolutely despised, it was pirates. You’ve encountered a few of them and they all were horrible people. Well…except the most recent one you’ve met..
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• You can still remember the first time you met him. You hated his guts. Couldn’t stand the way he carried himself and how sweet he was to everyone around him. Well..the truth is you only really hated him cause you knew he was a pirate.
• “Can you guys believe it?! Firefist Ace is in the center of town, fighting a group of bandits!” Now, this you had to see. You followed the group of people. When you finally pushed your way through the large crowd, you couldn’t believe your eyes. Ace was putting those bandits on their asses. He used his crazy devil fruit power to handle them like they were ants. “Are you ready to admit it?”
• The leader of the bandit crew got up but he seemed like he was in rough shape after going a few rounds with Ace. “Screw you!” The bandit yelled out before charging at Ace. “Come on. Have you learned nothing!” Ace yelled back as he sent a Firefist straight at the wicked man. “All I needed you to do was admit that you tried to steal this young lady’s coin bag. This all could have been avoided.” Ace blew the tiny flame from his pointer finger as if it were a gun he just fired.
• The residents of your town cheered for Ace while he tried to make his exit less heroic as possible. “Please.” He held a hand up as he scratched the back of his head. “No need to thank me.” The townspeople continued their joyous cheers and applause. Ace hated this part of saving people. The part where they all surround him to offer him gifts to show their thanks. Ace just wanted to be a good guy and then go on his way.
• Ace got through the people and tried to waved them off but as soon as he turned around, there was a second large group of people. Now this was the part that he LOVED. The part where all the young ladies of the town came to thank him. “That was so heroic! Thank you for saving me.” The woman he defended rubbed his arm as she thanked him. “You are so strong. Where are you from?” Another woman asked while she stroked his long hair. You watched as the women fell head over heals for him. You weren’t like them though. Cause you knew his secret.
• When Ace finally got away from the village and out of sight from everyone he pulled out his log post. “Dammit. How much longer is this gonna take. I can’t stay on this island anymore. I need to set sail.” Just then another young woman approached him. That young woman being you. “Set sail?”
• Ace jumped up when he heard the voice of a woman behind him. He quickly shoved the log post back in his bag and looked over his shoulder to face you. “Oh, hey there.” He flashed you a smile. “What are you doing so far away from your town? Won’t they be upset if your wandering alone?” You didn’t respond as you just glared at him. You didn’t like him and wasn’t gonna fall for his charms like all the other townspeople and helpless damsels. “I know what you are.” You crossed your arms. “You’re a pirate. No better than the dirt on the bottom of my shoe.”
• “Oh? That’s really what you think?” “Yep. Im not sure why you’re even here.” Ace scoffed and his smile quickly went away. “Someone’s daddy raised them with a complex.” You furrowed your eyebrows at his statement. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” “It means that you think you’re better than me just because I’m a pirate.” Ace put his backpack on and strutted past you to start walking back towards the village. “Where do you think you’re going?”
• “Dont worry about me so much. Im just a lowly pirate after all.”
• Ohhh this guy was grinding your gears. You didn’t wanna allow him to just walk back into town but who were you to try to stop a crazy pirate. He could snap and attack a girl like you. If only you really knew what ace was thinking. He was never gonna hurt you. He would never hurt a women. He actually liked you. Thought you were really pretty.
• A few hours later and nightfall had come. Ace needed a place to settle for the night before he can take off tomorrow morning. He keeps walking throughout the town, in hopes of finding a sign that is welcoming a overnight stay. When he finally arrived at a building that had a sign that said one night there was only 40 berries, he couldn’t pass up that deal. Upon walking in, he got greeted by two women and he gave them a smile before bowing. When he lifted his head, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the face he was seeing. It was you! It was the pretty chick who was all mad at him earlier. Who woulda guessed that her parents owned this inn? Small village, huh?
• Once Ace got his room he began to settle in before hearing a light knock on his door. When he opened it, another smile creeped on his face. “We have got to stop meeting like this.” He said as he leaned on the doorway. “I don’t wanna meet you at all. In any circumstance.” He gave you a confused look while he tilted his head. “Yet…you came to my door..”
• “I work here. I still have a job to do.” You then forced a smile back at him. “Could I get you anything else before you turn in for the night? A glass of water or a snack before bed, perhaps?” You said through your gritted teeth. You couldn’t believe that you had to do this. If anything, you wanted to punch him in his face and curse him out for tricking your parents like their fools. “Mhhh.” He put his finger on his chin as if he were actually thinking. “I could use some company tonight. It gets lonely on the seas. So I haven’t spend the night with a women in a long time.”
• That was it. The last straw that made you snap. You took your hand and slapped it across his face. Ace was clearly caught off guard for a moment but he remained nice and let his smile return to his face. “You’re strong..” The man put a hand over the spot you slapped before continuing. “but I think you misunderstood me. I only want someone to talk too. Nothing more, I promise.”
• You scoffed but then thought about it. This was actually perfect. All you had to do was give him a few minutes of your time and then you ask him for a favor. That favor being to stay away and never return back here. “If I talk with you then you have to promise me that you will pack up and leave by the morning.” You said as you stomped your foot. “So if I promise to leave by the morning, you will stay here and keep me company?” You nodded your head and awaited his answer.
• “Deal.” He opened the door more for you to come inside. “Come in. Let’s talk.”
• You both sat and talked for about ten minutes until ace managed to slip in a compliment that caught you way off guard. You tried to hide the sudden blush that appeared on your face but Ace caught a peak of it.
• “I see ya’ blushing over there.” You hid your face and turned away from the man. “Barely! You must think I’m easy.” “Not at all, hun. I just think you’re really beautiful when you get all shy like that.” He put his elbow on the armrest of the car he sat in and leaned on his the palm of his hand while staring at you. “I also think you’re beautiful when you get all mad at me.”
• You guys sat for longer and just talked and talked about various different things. “This was nice. I surprisingly enjoyed this talk.” You quietly said. “I have been quite lonely and don’t really find much people to talk to besides my parents and the occasional fling. So thank you.” The tension in the room had started heating up way faster than you had expected. For some reason you had started to feel attraction for this pirate. When talking wasn’t enough to smooth the loneliness in each other’s hearts, Ace took it a step further and put a hand on your thigh. “Just know that you don’t have to be lonely all the time.”
• When you felt him reach your skin, you jumped a bit but let him rest his hand there. He was sort of right. You hated sleeping in an empty bed at night. So maybe tonight you didn’t HAVE to be alone. Needless to say, one thing led to another and now he has you right where he wanted you. In his bed with his hands roaming your body. “I can’t believe I’m letting this happen.” You grunted. Ace immediately paused and leaned up. “If you don’t want too then that’s fine. You can leave and I wont follow.” He put his hands up and gave you an opportunity to dip if you changed your mind. When you remained in the bed, Ace smirked and kissed you on the lips. “I knew you wanted me.”
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• “Shh. Don’t be too loud, baby.” Fast forward a few minutes later, here Ace was - whispering in your ear while he rocked his hips into yours. “Your mother and father are just on the other side of this wall, aren’t they? What would happen if they found out their innocent daughter were gettting fucked by a pirate?” You wanted to hate him so badly but the way he was abusing your hole felt too euphoric. How could you betray yourself and let a pirate like him smooth talk his way between your legs.
• “Aghh!” You groaned out before ace could quickly put a hand over your mouth. “This isn’t working. I need you to be more silent for me or else we’ll get caught.” You reached up to remove ace’s hand from your face. “I can’t, Ace..it’s too much.” Your sentences came out all moany and broken but the way you said his name got Ace all riled up.
• “Really?” You could feel his lips curl into a smirk against your skin. “I could have swore I was no more than a dirty pirate to you. Now, you wanna moan my name?”
• You shook your head and tried to suck up your tears, not wanting Ace to see you crying from pleasure. “Stop it. It’s not like I like you or anything! I just..” you tried to think of how to word it to where he won’t get his ego fed. “I just wanted someone to make me feel good. I haven’t felt this good in a long time, Ace.”
• Ugh. Why would you tell him that. Out of all the other ways you could have worded that. Ace giggled and kissed you sloppily on the neck. “I bet you haven’t. You’ve never been fucked by a pirate before. I’m glad I’m your first one.”
• “Don’t get cocky. It’s not like you have my virginity.” “Don’t need it.” Ace took his hands and started fondling your tits while ever so often, suckling on your sensitive nipples. “I’m just glad I got to have you in general. You’re such a prize, babe.” The pirate didn’t let up on his fast strokes into your womb. He was minutes away from bursting inside but he needed to wait until you came for him. Ace had to make sure he exceeded your standards and make sure you change your mind about pirates.
• “Mmhh! Ace I’m c-cumming!” You wrapped your arms around his back to hold him closer. “Feels so good!” When Ace felt your pussy squeeze him and squirt on his cock, he had to pull out before he accidentally let himself go inside you. “Come on. Finish cumming on my cock so I can cum too. I’m almost there!”
• “Not inside!” Ace shushed you. “I know babygirl. Just let me take care of you.” He said as he swiftly pulled out and started stroking himself to finish on your body, painting your stomach in his white liquid. “See? Your pirate boy knows exactly what you want.”
• When you felt the bed shift and caught Ace standing up, you whined. “What are you doing?” He turned to you and giggled at your cute voice and expression. “Well we had a deal. Didn’t we?” He started putting his clothes on. “You told me to hit the road right after.” He looked back over at you and hated seeing the upset look you had. “Unless…you would rather I stay..?” “I mean..you did pay for a full night..it would be a waste of berries.”
• He threw his clothes back on the ground and hopped back in the bed with you. “Ah. So you actually like this little pirate?” You chuckled and covered your blush. “N-No! I just…think I judged you a bit too harshly..” you felt embarrassed to say it but you were wrong. Maybe not ALL pirates are bad..
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beatcroc · 2 months
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a year!!! as of today i have now been drawing these funny little pizza freaks, to the exclusion of almost everything else, for!!! an entire year!!! i wanted to do a nice group shot/lineup of everybody to compare to when i first started trying to draw them because oh boy were they bad. i never even posted most of them anywhere because they were so bad. but im posting them here, now, to see how everything's changed/evolved.
this is probably the hardest time i've ever had trying to figure out how to work with a style, but we got there eventually; i'm pretty happy with the handle i've got on everybody now...dont let ur memes be dreams. lots of unimportant journaling and idle thoughts abt it below.
older pics
the first one is the VERY first time i drew them, before i thought i was going to actually have any interest in drawing them [lmao]; it was just the one isolated image, for my friendserver, to illustrate the funney message, so there was no attempt to make it Good or actually understand anything going on w/ the designs or style.
second is the original run of practices sketches to start trying to figure them out for real; done after i started having ideas for the comics and such and realized oh god maybe i am actually gonna draw fanart for this. [again, lol, and lmao.]
third one is the first pt art thing i posted on here. there were a couple weeks of sprite studies between this one and the previous image. the one on the top right wasn't part of that post i just threw it on as space filler; i'd intended to shift to doing Sprite Redraws But Stylized to explore tings more, but that was the only one i did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
individual characters
peppino: by far the hardest dear god. bro what ARE your shapes how DOES your face work. jesus christ. everything i have trouble with this style for, peppino has it in excess. i draw in polygons! i need consistency! and that is the last thing this kind of style is concerned with. they are made of squarshy clay and i do not understand how to mold them. i was really hoping trying to learn this game's style would GIVE me that kind of flexibility for fun exaggerated facial expression but i don't think much came of it in the end 😔. anyway on the bright side all this means once i got peppino figured out a little bit everybody else clicked way easier.
fake peppino: honestly i never did anything with him on purpose except for how his eyes work + the perma-smile thing. i figured ok hes supposed to look weird and off model so whatever happens with him happens. and it did. and it kept happening. it is still, in fact, happening.
noise/ette: somehow, for every bit that peppino was the least natural thing i've ever tried, these two worked pretty much right off the bat. i still don't understand it, seeing as pretty much all the things at play for peppino are also at work for them. i think the new sketches are actually a little worse than older ones but not enough that i care.
gustavo: really funny bc i drew him on model twice and just went 'okay, cool nice, easy, um. he doesn't have any fucking legs?' fortunately he was the only one i had a strong idea for how to stylize him [square] and it worked exactly as i was hoping so wahoo.
brick: is an animal and therefore 5000x easier and more natural for me to draw/stylize than anything else in the cast. that is Just a rat bro. i can draw a rat.
gerome: i think the funniest one here. the most drastic and least necessary change imo. i was gonna have him be really small at first, like smaller than the noises, but then i just... didn't. he's just peppino-sized now. also i gave him like. actual human facial structure, which is funny bc in most cases i'd do anything to avoid, but it works well for his being A Rock to give him some angles and definition like that+ to differentiate his vibe from the rest of the cast who are all very squishy. also since he is essentially Just A Head it's good to emphasize that too ig.
john: i only drew john a couple times but he gets to be here because i like him. and because most of the stuff i applied to gerome was readily applicable to john, though i did try to keep him a little more uncanny because he is a Huge And Lanky Freak. i hate that he is barefoot btw but idk how to make his color balance look right with shoes.
pizzahead: i did not want to put him on here honestly but i Have drawn him a handful of times and more importantly i didn't know what i was gonna do with john's pose if i didn't have him there to be glared at. the only thing that's different with him is giving him wider-bottomed pants, which i got from when i tried to draw these guys in clone high style [i never posted that one either][i will eventually]
snick: he gets to be here because 1. he's like 6 lines 2. i like him and 3. ive scribbled him a few times offhand and it went pretty well
misc
there are some guys missing because those are guys i didn't draw enough [or at all] to have gotten comfortable with them. sorry
i would have Liked to shade these but for the time being i have accepted that my grasp of light/shadow has decayed to the point im not going to be happy with anything i try there, so For Now i am working on my presentation with flats i guess. gerome has a shadow only because he's shaded like that ingame and looks naked without it
anyway if you are still reading [hi?] i get to shamelessly plug now. i'm over the hill of my pizza run now, and while i still have plenty of things i want to make here, most of the bigger more in-depth ones have passed. pizza tower was the first thing in THREE YEARS to get me out of my oc groove to doing fanart, and once i am done with my ideas here i will be going right back to it. if you like my art or how i write characters/interactions you should check out my oc/webcomic blog @jamverse . i can't promise people who like pizza stuff will be terribly into my designs, but i can guarantee i treat my guys with the exact same sort of tone i handle the pt guys with. and hell, i've mentioned it a few times before, but like 70% of my characterization for fake pep is just copied off one of my characters, so if u are going to miss him... he will still be there in spirit >;p
and if you dont care about any of that and are still reading thank you anyway. actually making these comics + seeing how shockingly well-received they've been has done a lot for my confidence, and for seeing that my kind of stuff IS something people enjoy :')
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mediumgayitalian · 2 months
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Hiiiiii
Okay so I am absolutely obsessed with your writing .
Every day I check Tumblr to see if you've uploaded anything
When they move in together how do you think they will spilt the chores ?
And do you think their aesthetic would change as they grow older ?
Thank youuu
Love youuu
OH i love this. okay.
when they move in together, how do you think they will split the chores?
they do not.
they are in an interesting situation: nico has never had to do chores in his life. as a kid, he was the son of Literal Hades and an aristocrat, he for sure had people doing that shit for him. in the lotus, they presumably had room service. he may have had to do a few chores at the military school, but a) they weren't there for long and b) as an older sister with a younger brother, bianca was doing that shit for him. she ordered him to make his bed, he did a horrible job, she huffed and did it herself because it's more of a pain in the ass to make your brother do it again than it is to do it yourself. bianca i get you. after that he was homeless, so there was obviously no cleaning there, and then he lived in his father's palace. he has never so much as done a load of laundry except maybe hastily with a public washroom sink and a bar of soap. he barely knows what a mop is.
will, on the other hand, has been in charge of both a cabin and a literal infirmary since he was 13 years old. on top of that, if i am not mistaken (i'm so sorry i still havent read toa and tsats im getting there i swear), he grew up on a farm. his ass knows how chores work, in fact i would bet money that he gets a little obsessive when it comes to cleaning. he is acutely aware of how many germs are on every single surface ever. he cleans and he does it a lot.
this could go really badly, because habit would indicate that will would be doing all of the housework and nico none, which is Bad For Relationships.
however:
nico really likes will.
will is a massive hypocrite who overworks himself. he also is a bit of a control freak.
nico is also very, very observant.
i think, in the beginning of their friendship, even, nico noticed that will, like bianca, would let the onus of cleaning and tidying fall to him because 'no one else does it right', and also, maybe, it's just easier not to fight people about it. i think this would bother him. i think he would, in his inability to, like, be normal, impulsively challenge will to a cleaning contest.
and. like. will is a competitive person, okay. maybe not about things he knows he can't win, but when he knows he's good at something? he is not letting that shit slide. look at how fast he was to dunk on octavian, how prickly he got when nico doubted his ability to outrun the romans. if nico, who will knows damn well has done like four chores in his life, tries to challenge will, mr. antiseptic is my closest friend solace, to a cleaning contest?
he is going to sweep the floor with him.
pun absolutely intended.
from there things kind of spiral. at first it's a dorky ass learning curve, because nico loses every cleaning competition so so badly and quit fucking laughing, solace, you dickead, the windows are not that streaked and also watch me spray you in the goddamn eyes, huh, how do you like that and it's just kind of...fun. for the first time in a long time cleaning up doesn't make will quietly bitter.
plus, as an added bonus, nico helping will clean up makes it less invisible when he does it. now people are starting to notice that, no, the infirmary does not magically clean and organise itself, someone does that. and maybe a few more people pitch in to help. and maybe will realises, and maybe he smiles gratefully at nico when, for the first time in years, he has two entire days off, back to back, in the summer, for the first time in years. and maybe nico thinks he is going to collapse into dust because gods will has a nice smile. not that he cares or notices or anything.
do they need to keep having competitive chores forever?
no.
but does it make both of them kind of shyly pleased and happy to remember how they started? to remember how much their friendship means to them, first and foremost, and not just their relationship?
yes.
(also, by the gods, nico is going to beat will at laundry one day. he is. as soon as he learns to fold without creasing the whole stupid shirt it's over.)
how do you think their aesthetic would change as they get older?
not much tbh.
will is pretty happy in his cargo shorts, which, mood. and nico is very committed to his Prince of Darkness look.
they are gonna have to get used to like...regular weather when they leave camp tho. i think will might begrudgingly have to get used to pants. he hates jeans with a fiery passion and any kind of slacks, but he will accept track pants.
he is also into shirts with horrible horrible puns on them. especially medical puns. he and nico frequently fight over who gets to buy shirts with bone puns on them, because they both find it funny. their closet (lol) is quickly morphing into one monster.
will complains about wearing shoes every single time he has to wear something that isn't flip-flops (again, understandable). he likes buying off-brand white converse and customizing them, though, so those are acceptable.
he refuses to wear boots under literally any circumstances. there could be three feet of snow on the ground and dumbass will be wearing chucks.
while their t-shirt situation is pretty similar, nico literally doesn't wear pants that aren't jeans. sometimes he sleeps in jeans. (not to make will's eye twitch, noooo, of course not, sometimes he just Reasonably Forgets or is Reasonably Too Lazy to get changed)
nico does also, on occasion, wear button ups, sleeves folded to just above the elbow.
will likes these very much.
especially the green one.
the green one is Very Very nice.
as for hair, nico grows his out to shoulder length so he can tie it back. he doesnt keep it much longer than that, because too long and he looks like bianca -- he always looks like her, and he never forgets that, but its important to him to remember her while still being able to think of himself as a separate person. he cuts it when it goes past his shoulders.
wills hair is literally untamable. it grows where it pleases. he hasnt had a haircut since he was six years old and somehow his hair doesnt grow down to his waist. he has no idea how long it actually is. they tried to measure it once but it changed every two minutes. the literal only time it resembles anything close to maintained is when he wears it in two french braid pigtails :) nico likes to buy him elastics with little charms on them. he wears them to suit his mood, he has a whole collection.
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vampykween · 5 months
Note
Crazy idea for toxic husband simon? Lets send them to couples counselling >:]
hehe i love this idea! sorry this took so long i pondered over how to write it, but i like how it turned out! these two deserve a brief reprieve from all the angst so enjoy this little glimmer of hope <3
“i still don’t think we need to do this, love” 
“so, you’ve said. can you please just go get the kids ready to leave, im not finished getting ready.” you mentally count down from ten while leaning over the bathroom sink attempting to finish up your makeup. you know by the time you hit ten, simon will have volleyed back some comment you’re in no mood to hear. 
“’s therapy, not a fashion show. dont even get why you’re getting dolled up anyway.” he’s unbelievably predictable. 
you roll your eyes and stare pointedly in his direction. “you know if you’re trying to convince me you still love me, you should try just saying ‘wow babe you look beautiful, of course i’ll get the kids ready’.” simon squints his eyes at you as if he’s actually considering what you’re saying, huffs, and stalks off in the direction of your daughters’ room. 
maybe your husband(?) was right, this does feel stupid. you two are sitting in a far too stuffy room with plain decorations, on a too-plush couch that makes you sink further with every movement. you don't even realize the therapist is asking you something until simon places a hand on your bouncing knee, stilling it to catch your attention. your heart shouldn’t stutter at the small display of affection, but simon hadn’t touched you in so long the touch melted the icy feelings you had towards him.
the session goes far better than you had expected. you didn’t think simon would open up much, but he was a lot more willing to admit his faults than you figured he’d be. you couldn’t help but stare at him incredulously, where was this man when you two were at home? when you were begging and pleading for help with literally any and everything? a part of you starts to feel bad when simon’s revealing his feelings of depression and worthlessness, not that you’re giving him a pass for the years of transgression, but once upon a time he was your soulmate and your heartbreaks knowing he was in so much pain.
maybe you didn’t see it because you were blinded by rage, or because you were so exhausted day in and day out, you didn’t have time to think of anything other than being a mom. you both come to the realization, with the therapist’s help of course, that you were both so eager to rush into life that you never stopped to consider what that would actually look like. you wanted a baby so badly that even when things started to snowball into madness you two convinced yourselves that this was just the way it was and that it had to be worth it somehow.
as you’re both walking back to the car, you leave feeling a whole lot lighter than when you went in. sure no major hurdles were cleared. you weren’t sure when you’d be able to kiss and love on your husband again without being confronted with everything he wasn’t doing, but you two are going to take it slow and learn to listen to each other. give and take. push and pull. as you slide into the passenger seat, simon tugs gently at one of your hands and interlocks his fingers with yours.
“i know i can’t take back the past, but i’m serious about changing. i want to be better for you, for us, and for our girls.”
you’re not sure what you had expected him to say, but his words have your breath caught in your throat. you distinctly remember a time when he promised he would be good to you, and he failed. you wanted to badly to believe him now, hearing the sincerity in his voice. warring between what the angry part of you wants to say and what the hopeful part of you wants to say, you land on a simple response of “okay”
“okay?”
“yes, okay. i’m not ready to forgive you yet and i don’t know when i ever will be. but i am saying that i will try.” his eyes lock with yours and you can see the emotion brewing in them, he doesn’t offer any words back. he simply squeezes your hand three times in quick succession. i love you. maybe just maybe things will work out this time.
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rzyraffek · 1 year
Note
Saw that your requests are open!
How would the Sinclairs brothers, Brahms, and Billy Lenz react if their s/o places flowers in their hair? Like flower crowns, daisies, wildflowers.
Thank you! Have a good day/night :3
OMG THATS THE CUTESTS REQUEST EVER!! You didnt say what pronouns to use so i'll go with they/them! Its fully SFW! Request open
Slashers with s/o that makes flowercrowns!
Vincent
This guy, he will litteraly cry pls why is s/o so nice to him😭😭😭
I swear this guy will treat his flowercrown like the most delicate and important thing is his life pls😭
Like he will feel bad when flowers die and started looking all ugly :((
But except that! He will beg for tutorial! Pls teach him how to make those, and he will give them one too
Also he probably loves drying flowers becasue they look pretty forever! Also he totally needs to learn how to sculp flowers in wax
Vince is gonna to give flowercrowns to Lester and Bo! Sharing is caring
Bo Sinclair
This dude will pretend like he doesnt care about it, actin all tough, but omygod if s/o wont give him next flowercrown when this one gets old? He be offended
Wym you thought he didnt like last one??? Pff
Nah but fr he will be like 'woah thanks sunshine'
Also he thinks that s/o should be the one wearing those pretty crowns. And vincent would totaly love them too.
He will tell them 'can you make one for Vince too? He gotta love this type of stuff'
Lester Sinclair
I forgor this guy exists and I almost posted without him
He will hang all the flowers they gave him in his epic truck! Will show them off too!
Im not going to be surprised if this guy already knows how to make flowercrowns and give some to s/o and by some i mean A LOT
He will come back home with hands full of wild flowers just for them!
Brahms Heelshire!
This guy will giggle and blush when he sees what they put on his head
Bro prefers to look at flowers outside than inside really. But If its a gift he guesses he will keep it? Next time give him dried flowers pls
he will be so mesmeraised and stunned, especially if s/o has her own crown too! They both deserve it!
to be honest this guy looks like one of those pollen allergies mf, so he will sneeze and die. 'you wanted to poison me!!' 'Man idk I just like flowers'
Billy Lenz'
No Billy you can't eat flowers
He probably destroys it by accident tbh, hes very chaotic. But please give him more!!
In summer he probably goes outside, especially when yall have house with garden, he probably just sits there looking what s/o is up to. Aslo probably hugging them tightly
When s/o manages to put one crown on him without him moving and bouncing all around the place hes going to look up and grab it every 5secdons to make sure its still there
Also he will sniff the flowers before allowing them on his head he likes to know how they smell
Jason Voorhees
Ik hes not in request but he's litteral definition of this prompt
This guy will come back home with hands full of wildflowers!
Putting random singular flower on his head>>
He wants to learn how to do crowns!! (I mean he knows he just pretend he doesnt so he can spend more time with his s/o)
Also he will decorate house with rest of flowers! Now whole home smells like meadow!
Live laugh love Jason
Yall have no idea how happy I am when I get requests!! Thanks for all of them!! I post it at 2am! Have lovley day yall🥰
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myoddessy · 1 year
Text
out with the old, in with the new | w2s/harry lewis
summary —new accounts, new lifestyle, new clubs every night. an insight into just what—and who—youtube's non-youtuber it girl got up to during her split from harry
*once again following the lead of @whoetoshaw and her bog universe's iconic breakup era ALSO, one of the twitter threads is rlly grainy and I'm sorry abt that, i couldn't properly fix it so you have to just zoom in on it 😭
2023, January
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2018, July.
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liked by zoeleonards, taliamar, masonmount, and 11, 824 others
yourusername lay all your love on me 🌻🍹☀️
tagged: zoeleonards, chloemitchells
zoeleonards london reality, greece fantasy 💔😞
yourusername ibiza couldn't come sooner!
wroetominter OMGOMG IVE DREAMED ABOUT YOU RETURNING TO SOCIAL MEDIA
ynfan omg shes glowing 🤩🤩
chloemitchells mykonos has never looked better 🤤😍😘
yourusername love u, lover girl 😘😘 ❤️❤️
2018, August.
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liked by chloemitchells, tobjizzle, leahwilliamson, and 20,349 others
yourusername snuck behind a dj booth and had a blast, had a few more shots than I should've, fell more in love with my girls. ibiza, you will forever be famous 🍾✨️
zoeleonards it was nice having the hotel room to just myself and Chloe for a bit x 🤣🤭
ynfangirl DOES THIS MEAN THE MASON MOUNT RUMOURS ARE TRUE??
chloemitchells @ynfangirl who's that? never heard of him 🤷‍♀️
ynloverrrr it HAS to be true
freyanightingale beautiful girl ❤️
yourusername ❤️❤️❤️
sidemenfav the way that her, freya, and talia still like each others posts and support each other 💔
liked by yourusername, taliamar, and freyanightingale
ynandharry tobi likes every one of her posts, too. they really are family no matter what 😭
2019, January
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liked by pierregasly, zerkaa, mabel, and 30,568 others
yourusername we're able to have semi-classy girls trips, who knew?
tagged: zoeleonards
chloemitchells gutted I couldn't make it, I miss u two beautiful girls 😭❤️
yourusername CHLO!!! it wasn't the same without you, babe xx
zoeleonards I missed placing bets on who y/n was gonna make a move on 💔
yourusername IM NOT THAT BAD ZOË JESUS
chloemitchells yeah, give her some slack... it's usually placing bets on who's gonna make a move on her 😉
ynfanpage queen we need tips on how to live our best lives because you are teaching us all rn
yourusername 1) the only long term relationship you need to focus on is the one with yourself. 2) surround yourself with people you love and support & who will love and support you. 3) learn to not give a fuck what anyone else things because everyone's too busy in their own heads to care ❤️❤️
taliaminterr how is your life so aesthetic?? irl gossip girl vibes!!
yourusername babe trust my life doesn't look like this day to day, I only show the fun bits. rn it's 4am and I've got four day old greasy hair, dried mascara under my eyes (I watched UP without taking off my makeup first), and I'm eating cereal and drinking flat coke zero. I am not the standard you should aim for 😭😭
ynslover I love how open and honest she is about her content. she's actually such a good role model
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liked by taliamar, freyanightingale, chloemitchells, and 19,519 others
yourusername apparently people think the party life in my photo dumps is my day-to-day? babes, if I can teach any of you one thing in life, it's that half the shit you see online is fake. half the 'candid' moments are staged, same goes for almost every picture you see. so here's a little dump of my actual reality
zoeleonards yeah guys she's actually so messy it's insane. it makes me want to move out
yourusername SHUT IT. zoë has about three different vases of dead flowers in her room because she forgets to take them out.
zoeleonards that's nothing on the old cups in your room
yourusername BLOCKING U
ynslover how does it feel to be the most relatable influencer ever even though you're not an influencer?
taliamar omg you've still got the vinyls!!
yourusername ofc, babe! I needed something to remember our days of charity shop hopping
2023, January
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szollibisz · 12 days
Note
Do you have any hcs abt how Curt and Owen "came out" to one another? (Using the term loosely cuz obviously they can't just be like "IM GAY") And also how they got together (who fell first etc etc)
Ok, so to preface this, my favourite thing about curtwen is just how many ways you can interpret their pre-canon relationship.
I try to keep their story relatively loose in my head, save for a few headcanons I very strongly believe in, because it's more fun this way.
For me, the #1 headcanon that's in all the iterations I think of, is that they hated each other at first. I think their personalities clash way too much for them to be all buddy-buddy on the first day. (Physical attraction? maybe. Was it minuscule compared to their irritation with each other? yes.)
I just think it's interesting how the two of them gradually (and begrudgingly) start to care about each other.
I think their "friendship stage" is one of my favourite parts about the whole thing. Now I refuse to believe either of those men have friends. Maybe coworkers and acquaintances, but not friends. Which is why this stage lasts so little.
As their work their way up to care for and respect each other, both of them go a little crazy about it.
It's the first time in years or even decades they felt genuine affection and maybe even trust, and both of them are extremely starved for it. So it really doesn't take much for them to fall for each other. (especially since the aforementioned physical attraction was always there and only getting stronger as they learned to tolerate each other)
I imagine, because of this, Owen was the one who fell first, and he employed his usual tactic for dealing with unwanted feelings: Being an ass and depriving himself of good things. He got more intense about his work, trying to immerse himself in it, so he'll stop thinking about Curt. He stayed up late, didn't even try to take it easy when he had a migraine, drank shit coffee and other great things.
It technically worked. He looked like shit, which in turn made Curt worried, and if Owen completely invalidated his worries the two of them would get into a fight, be mad at each other and not interact so much. Owen thought this would make him not yearn for Curt so bad (he still did, in fact, yearn for him that bad)
When Curt realized he was in love with Owen he was pretty horrified. Like listen. If someone has commitment issues it's Curt. Maybe he had a boyfriend or two during his teenage years/twenties, but they didn't end well, and since then he's been trying to keep everybody at arms length. He convinced himself Owen wasn't so bad because hey. They were just buddies (and Curt desperately needed a buddy.)
He tried to shove down and ignore his feelings, but moaning your friend's name while banging another guy may just be a little more than what you can avoid.
He never understood why Owen turned so cold suddenly, and he was terrified Owen just didn't like or trust him anymore. In turn he was also mad at him for trying to shut him out.
Their little hate renaissance could only last so long though. They were still each other's only friends and no matter what they did they kept being drawn back to each other.
This was a super long preface but. I am not normal about those two.
So. different scenarios and headcanons and whatnot
1. Either one of them somehow discovers the other is gay. This would probably mean Owen finding out about Curt, because, I wholeheartedly believe that man would leave during a mission sometimes just to get a quick fuck in. Maybe Owen finds out with evidence (fast & easy method) or he just starts strongly suspecting with his great spying and deduction skills (slow & torturous method, he'd try to convince himself he's just seeing what he wants to see) either way, the confrontation would be very uncomfortable for both of them. Curt would deny it ofc, and Owen would go through the internal battle of "tell him it's fine, you won't rat him out, but be a little homophobic about it, so maybe you can keep the only friend you have, but also be ok with the fact that he'll always be with other men and never you" or "tell him you're gay too, maybe he likes you, maybe not, and potentially risk losing your job and livelihood and everything you've ever worked for" He'd most likely end up doing the latter, surprising both Curt and himself. (He's already way more into Curt than he admits to himself) And things escalate from there.
2. Dramatic post mission (maybe a "I thought I'd never see you again" moment) This is where their friendship gets really interesting to me. For a scenario like this the months long yearning is a given, maybe even a lot of unresolved tension between the two (which would probably be resolved with violence anyways) They care very deeply about each other by now. They know each other better than anyone, and their idyllic relationship is only made into a living hell by all the pining. At this point I mean, they'd buy each other birthday gifts, go over to the other's house when they were in the same country and share way too much info over drinks. Their job is always dangerous, but even they can get scared. Maybe we're talking being crazy outnumbered, or a torture/hostage situations, or hell even a collapsing building. Point is, id either one of them thought the other (or both of them) may die, at this point they'd be impulsive enough to just say I love you or kiss the other. In the moment neither of them would care, and later on, when you'd normally talk about things like near death makeout sessions, they'd just. not. do that, because communication is for guys with better life prospects. This one has absolutely no coming-out talk in it, simply because they don't need it
3. Possibly drunk hookup Now clearly, we are talking about two of the most down bad men ever. This is one scenario, I think could also work really well when they still really hated each other. Maybe throughout their first few mission they both gathered enough evidence and sussed each other out, and after (yet another) explosive fight they might just. Alleviate the tension by not beating each other up but by. other means. They don't end up talking much about it, but it keeps happening, and wait maybe they don't even hate each other all that much. (This is the more sober option) The other one is where the "possibly drunk" comes in. If they've been friends for a while, they probably got used to working around each other and finding comfort in the other's presence. This includes little habits, inside jokes, and even (very small) physical touches. This probably wouldn't go down during a mission, it's more likely to happen at either Curt's or Owen's house, maybe during some holiday. Both of them realizing it's a pretty bad idea early on, because, without all the stress of the missions and navigating a foreign country all that's left is them and the feelings they have for each other. Owen would probably say no to drinks for the first few times, just to avoid a potentially dangerous situation, but Curt would wear him down eventually. Now, with both of them drunk and comfortable, it wouldn't take much for things to escalate. Maybe Curt forgets to take his hand off of Owen after patting him on the back, or Owen holds Curt gaze for a little too long. Either way, those two end up fucking. The next day both of them are a little horrified, but they manage to come clean about their feelings (even if it's in the most backwards and convoluted way possible)
Happy ending (or not) There's many more ways it could've happened, but I already wrote wayyyy too much I think.
In the end I don't think they'd ever have a proper conversation about homosexuality, even way into their relationship. It's something they slowly pick up on from each other. How ashamed are they, what makes them tick, what you shouldn't say etc. And then of course, since they don't communicate properly and sometimes purposefully hurt each other, they'd throw it all back in the other's face.
I'm not sure this is what you meant when you asked for hcs, but I got carried away.
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xoxogossipmal · 3 months
Note
submissive tom 2008????!!!!!
he tries to make you jealous 🥰🥰
and when you two get home you literally torture him(not technically) like you DON'T let him cum and you use some toys whatever stuff on him ESPECIALLY HANDCUFFS.
pleeeeeaaseee if you're not comfortable its good
THE WAY I GASPED WHEN I READ THIS???? laughs evily and starts typing a story
⯌ "Please.."
-- 2008 Tom Kaulitz x Reader.
⯌ Content : SMUTTTT, Sub!Tom Kauliz, Dom!Reader 😛.
a/n : first of all I js wanna say I DEEPLY apologize for leaving u guys omg I feel like a bad mother leaving her starved children. I came back w a large feast tho so eat this UP!!! (im sorry for leaving this on a cliffhanger) also not proofread thank u and goodbye
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boy oh boy am i gonna have fun with this rubs hands together
You were dating Tom for awhile now, and you knew that he flirts with fans sometimes. It didn't annoy you, he knew he had you. But this exact moment stood out.
Tom was signing autographs for fans as usual, when a fan started talking to him. His eyes sparkled slightly as he also started talking to the fan. "You're really pretty." Tom said softly, smiling a little. He knew you were watching. He just wanted your attention.
You were watching from afar, rolling your eyes. You scoffed and waited for the thing to be over. You were definitely jealous, and you were gonna get him back.
After he was done, he walked up to you when you glared at him. "Am I in trouble?" He said, looking at you. He knew he got you jealous.
You scoffed and grabbed his arm, dragging him. He chuckled softly, watching you drag him.
────────────────────────
Once you got home, you slammed the door behind you, kicking your shoes off and dragging Tom up the stairs. You got into the bedroom and slammed the door behind you.
You pushed him against the bed, giving him a rough kiss as you sat on top of him. Tom whimpered slightly as you pulled away. "Y/n.." He mumbled, looking up at you as you sat on top of him. You felt his cock pressing against your cunt as you sat on top of him.
"What? You need me?" You looked down at him, your hips slowly grinding on him. His breath hitched and he let out a small moan. "Y-y/n, please.." He whimpered, looking at you as you slowly grind your hips on his hard cock.
"Please, oh fuckk.." He pleaded, moaning softly. You got off and he whined, looking down at you. "Quiet." You said as you started pulling his jeans down. Tom bit his bottom lip as he watched you.
You pulled down his pants in boxers in one swift motion, his cock springing out as precum leaked from the tip. "Y/n, please..." He pleaded, looking down at you. You hummed and rubbed your thumb on his tip. He moaned slightly and bucked his hips a little. You slapped his thigh. "Stay still." You ordered.
He whimpered as he felt your warm mouth around his cock, throwing his head back. "Oh, fuck- y/n.." He moaned softly, looking down at you as you sucked so good on his cock. He whimpered as he felt his climax coming. "F-fuck, p-please y/n, I'm cumming," He whimpered when you took his cock out of your mouth with a pop sound. He whined and you shook your head.
"Do you think you deserve to cum? After talking to some girl thinking you can get away with it?" You said, stroking his cock slowly. He moaned and threw his head back. "P-please!, mmh-" He managed to make out between moans. You just shook your head and continued to stroke his cock slowly. "No, Tom. Learn your lesson." You tilted your head slightly, looking up at him.
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how i feel after finishing this (i feel so good rn)
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rin-and-jade · 14 days
Text
Is This (Truly) My Reflection..? : A Post on Imposter Syndrome [Master Guide]
" Did well on a test? Must be luck. They think im smart? Man, i must've tricked them because im not. My condition is bad? Well it could be even worser than this. Im struggling? Must be a minor thing, plus everyone struggles worser right..? "
If these words hits close to home, take a moment to look in the mirror. What do you notice? Maybe you fear lots of things, having horrible self-esteem, or being a perfectionist and overthinking everything?
Fear not! They're just blotches obscuring your true reflection, let's finally clean your mirror, shall we? So let's get on with the post;
How did go dusty?
Materialistically speaking, we all know that objects also need regular maintenance to keep it's best quality and lifetime,, mirrors are one of them, especially glasses because magical smudges spawns in once in a while, pretty annoying to see with when things are not clear isn't it?
I think the imposter image also clouds you the same way, it doesn't change the facts, but it does change the way you perceive them.
But, how did they spawn in your vision? It doesn't just pop out, maybe we didn't see it coming when it's small, dust and smears are more visible when they cluster together. What this means is how criticism, out-of-reach demands, and unrealistic expectations you hear most often gets accumulated, slowly obscuring you. Make sense right?
Since the things you hear the most echoes through your chamber harder than the less frequent ones, and that nobody hear's the same thing/words automatically means there are different forms of this syndrome's manifestation, i'll list them down: (bare in mind this is read in a pov of talking to oneself)
Perfectionist - "It all has to be right" You must do it perfect, everything must go smooth, if it doesn't go like how you planned you could've done better in many ways because why can't you see it coming before? That's impossible and unforgivable, there's no toleration for mistakes. Makes you look like you're not as good enough as others.
Expert - "Until then, i may be competent" There's a lot to master or learn, only then you can call yourself worthy of a title. Because the greatest ones must know everything, they don't have any weaknesses--since that's what an expert is! What are you, who learnt most things it has to give, but still missing a lot of little gaps? Once it is all flawless and understood you can call yourself that.
Natural Genius - "I am great, as long i can wing it" Everything must be an easy feat, you must be able to do things right on first try, if not, you might be no other than an average person. Geniuses are fast learning--and they can do everything right where people least expect it. Only then you can truly be smart or intelligent, wrong deductions are associated with less bright people! So if you just make one mistake out of anything, You are just the same as them, you don't have such talent!!
Lone wolf - "It's not real effort if it's intervened" A status or level means nothing if someone helps you, because thats cheating! You should start from scratch like everyone else, asking for help will equate to not being competent or worthy. You will never be able to asses your competence or abilities if it was assisted by someone else, you need to prove being worthy by doing it all yourself!
Hardest Worker - "I should perform as the best" Only if you work the most, the hardest, diligently and with no rest, is only when you can settle down and claim your achievements. What are you if you are not as special? You are nothing but a fraud if you're not the hardest working person ever, you also don't deserve to take a break until you reach to a higher level than others! You are nothing if you are not productive, or didn't achieve any amazing outcome.
Each types has its own fixations and areas where self-doubt comes around, you might even be a mix of these 5 (pick the dominant one if can), the manifestations are endless. Note that the main theme it all has are fear of being fake/inadequate and, or causing extreme doubt, one way or another.
If you need more assurance, i have prepared links for two short quizzes to figure out if you are showing signs of the imposter syndrome! They're already tested by me, so give these two a try.
How should i clean it??
Good question, but before that, i want to mention that this inner critic is a common automatic second voice where it's created in a place of potential abuse or mistreatment for many kinds of victims. Just like how you wipe your stuffs clean can go dirty in a few days despite leaving it be, this is the same. But the more you take care of your glass, the harder the specks will stick on it. That's our goal right there: Make the critics bother you less and more weak the more we deflect them.
Now to the main point, its a tough one here, because depending on what type you have, has it's own root of cause that needs to be tackled accordingly. This post is how to specifically tackle the sense of fraud in being a system, but you can apply this to any other general things the syndrome is causing you problems at.
--
Dear Perfectionist, here's how you can clean your mirror:
Understand that CDDs have no 'right' way of how it'll present the symptoms to you. Like, for someone to have a cold who have a sore throat for the early onset, while you're having runny nose,, does not mean you are the odd one out for not being the same as other's manifestation.
Nothing is constant, or the same, in frequency or intensity. You don't have to suffer 24/7 to finally accept you have a CDD or anything else. Just like for those with chronic pain, who doesn't experience pain for a day, does not mean they are cured of, or not having it. One minute of feeling okay still can happen to those with illnesses.
Perfectionism seeks outward assurance to fit whatever it finds 'right' or it's prime example as reference, which is the opposite of what you truly need: Acceptance. Comparison can be helpful, but oftentimes it causes counterproductive results. Your experiences are already real and it uniquely belongs to you, no amount of external validation will fill you, accept as how you are.
--
Dear Expert, here's how you can clean your mirror:
Having CDD means having a very covert disorder, it is not that you're a fraud for not knowing, or have proof of what caused you to be one, or know every parts and places in the innerworld, or need a perfect book filled with documentation on anything you can find. You do not need to 'master' or understand how your disorder truly works in order to feel like you have it--because guess what, you do have despite it, buddy.
You cannot rush things! Take things slow and steady, a microwaved meal may not taste good but it sure gets served in a mere minute, but gourmet are made from long and tedious work that trusts the process instead of the final result. Many systems rush to develop a better communication without fully learning what type of communication they have, like communicating with vibes instead of the stereotypical type for example.
Nobody ever figure things out by a 100%, so ease back and embrace uncertainty and the unknown. If the greatest researchers still can't make sense of how our galaxy works, then you should not be guilty or feel incompetent for not being able to figure it out, we are not perfect ofcourse, there are limitations to what we can know of our CDD.
--
Dear Natural Genius, here's how you can clean your mirror:
Having a disorder does not mean you immediately know what it does, will do, or how it'll turn out. Never feel bad about learning from scratch, you also don't have to get things right first try because it might be a new topic you're unfamiliar with. If you once think you have DID, but turns out to be Polyfragmented the longer you learn and research, it is a very natural thing to experience as CDD's have many similarities between each other.
You can't keep relying on being unprepared, but expect to do it perfect. It is not a negative thing to always recap, or learn it again, and whenever you do get things wrong, it is a valuable information to learn from, it's not your enemy. The lightbulb isn't invented at first try, but after hundreds and thousands of tries, and the worth still never gets devalued.
--
Dear Lone Wolf, here's how you can clean your mirror:
It is never cheating to ask for help, or get insight from another person. It never means you are not competent if you need some external help, rather like how you cannot see crumbs in your face until someone points it out. One can do an okay amount of progress, but if with many, it can progress even better and faster.
You must dismantle whatever makes you think of this way, things like hyper-independence are caused by a deeper root, you must delve and explore why are you only deemed worth, or feel okay, if you do everything yourself. We grow better when we surround ourselves with many other things.
--
Dear Hardest Worker, here's how you can clean your mirror:
healing is a journey, i understand that you want to get over with the whole CDD's symptoms and it's problems and start getting into final fusion/functional system, that the fluctuation with everyday's progress may frustrate you, but everyday doesn't have to be succeeding something or have an eureka, progress is never linear. You will still get there one day, don't fret on it too much okay?
Worries may not leave you alone fully, and just so you know, your worth or validation isn't tied with productivity. Whatever guilt or doubt you have that is causing this, i hope you can incorporate more self-compassion. For the alter with role jobs, you all deserve to have a break and have fun outside of those jobs, and rely with other parts for help. You're doing enough.
Why does it happen? Where's the takeaway?
Well, imposter syndrome relies on many biases/distortions and possible fallacies, i'll tell you some in hopes of helping you get out of its grip better than your previous attempts after learning the awful trick of theirs:
Confirmation bias: When you take a part of a fact to confirm your current image of you have, whilst downplaying contradicting and or disregarding other pov to maintain it.
Mental filter: Fixated on the negative aspects or flaws while missing out on the bigger picture or contextual information it has. Leading to false judgement of one's situation/ability.
Overgeneralization: Where a person assumes an experience from one event will apply to another different event. Or base an answer from a limited evidence or current failures. For example, interpreting a single mistake or setback as evidence that they are incompetent or unworthy, despite having a track record of success in other areas.
False consensus bias: Believing that others share the same negative opinions or doubts about oneself, even when there is little evidence to support this assumption. For example, one may believe that everyone in their workplace or academic environment is highly competent and confident, leading them to feel even more out of place and undeserving.
Fundamental attribution error: Where one underemphasize situational and environmental factors for the behavior of itself/someone else while overemphasizing dispositional or personality factors. For example, people who cut lines in traffic is a jerk, but if you cut traffic it's because there's something important. The pure opposite can be true in this specific example: Sarah receives praise from her supervisor for completing a project ahead of schedule and with excellent quality. However, instead of attributing her success to hard work, skills, and knowledge, she discounts the positive feedback by attributing the outcome to external factors. Saying "I just got lucky this time," or "My team members helped me a lot, so it wasn't all my effort." instead.
--
So there a hecking ton of information i put here.. But these things are very important to learn about, because the imposter syndrome is a multifaceted problem that has to be addressed in more than one angle.
I hope, everything that is written from start to end, can be used as your chemical cleaner, wiping cloth, along with your handy guide on how to take care of your mirror professionally,
Happy cleaning everyone!
- j
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skyeslittlecorner · 3 months
Note
can you post some photos on chapter five? ive been struggling to get to it and im impatient if ykwim 😭😭
Don't worry anon, I got you covered! Let's break this chapter for three parts - one for story and for one for both H-scenes. There are a lot of things to look forward to~
Warning: HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT. In fact, I'll try to shorten the whole thing and focus on plot-relevant facts, so for those who want to go through chapter 5 on their own, come back when you're done! (Or just skip to h-scene, they are marked.)
Ch5 - STORY
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First, I would like to warn that my opinion about it may be unpopular. As someone who hadn't paid much attention to Hades before, I fell in love with it after this episode. I adore ch5. A lot of people hate these boys to the core for what they did, and I understand and respect their opinion, but I'm with Hades here. I would love to analyze their behavior in more detail, but we don't have time for that today.
Summarizing this chapter is going to be hard because a lot of things happened. Let's go!
We start by going down a slide sponsored by Leviathan and his Lovecraftian friends (TM). But worry not! It seems we have friends even in the realm of death. Say hello to grandpa!
We talk a little, being in a questionable mood. Well, who wouldn't be? But we have the opportunity to know Solomon better, and I'm getting to understand why all devils love him. By the way, it turns out that we are his last descendant.
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Sorry Solomon, you're still a peepaw.
He also advises us not to be afraid of Leviathan and not to be submissive to him, and then in a brilliant way he sends us back to the world of the living. Of course, our beautiful king is delighted.
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We take Grandpa's advice to heart and finally stand up to Levi. He's surprised, but he doesn't try to kill us again (for now). We witness him hanging one of his subjects, who dared to ask about an accident from 311 years ago.
Fun fact. Devils must have much stronger spines. Do you know how people used to die by hanging? The first methods involved cutting off oxygen, but later they involved into breaking the cervical spine and this was considered a standard hanging execution. Leviathan must be gentle (how bad it sounds in this context), he could kill instantly with a loop like that.
Back to the point. We find out that we also have a noose around our neck, and Leviathan makes use of it. We're hanging, but we finally begin to meet Leviathan's nobles one by one.
Glasyal plots (and ends up hanging for it), Foras argues with him, along the way we learn that Leviathan needs us in his plan, and, you know, maybe killing us isn't the smartest thing he can do. Only Barbatos realizes that maybe it's a good idea to stop hanging us like wet laundry. He's the only one so openly nice to us.
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Remember that.
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Another fun fact, our MC is of medium height (~160 cm I guess). Leviathan is 187cm, Foras should be similar. I only noticed this because I myself am 180 cm so they are not so strappingly tall for me.
Foras wants to take us away from Levi and explain everything calmly, but the king does not agree. We learn that the guys know where the seed from the Tree of Knowledge is. We're supposed to go with them, and we have about a 50/50 chance of survival. Also, we have the opportunity to see a very rare phenomenon, a joking Leviathan.
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Sweetie.
Colossally shortening the rest, the cavalry arrives! You didn't have to. I haven't had time to fuck them yet.
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And this cavalry is very much at odds with the nobles of Hades. Most of the time is them arguing. Fortunately, they didn't kill each other…
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...because Barbie decided to kill us.
Barbatos is poisoning us to force Bimet and Valefor to join the plan. While we are unconscious, we have flashes of Leviathan's past, which is too sad to analyze considering that we are about to jump to hot scenes now. Besides, most of us already know what this is about. Experience it for yourself. Really. We also learn that not only angels experimented on children, and a little about Mammon's childhood.
In the end, we learn that in Ch6 we must visit the abandoned laboratory in Tartaros, where the seed from the tree of knowledge should be, because as Solomon's descendants, we may be the only ones who will not be killed by it.
Ch5 - VALEFOR H-SCENE
(I really wanted to post CG from Valefor's scene here, but I don't know if Tumblr will block it.)
TIME FOR DESSERT!
Bimet is the first to realize that we lack devil energy. He wants to take care of it, but Valefor brushes him off, sends him to scout, and overall Bimet is our wingman, what a bro lol
Since we are away from Satan and Gehenna, we cannot summon Minhyeok's room. MC thinks she's outgrown it anyway. So we can count on the next scenes to be more and more creative.
It all starts with us telling Valefor that he reminds us of Mammon. And what a beast it brings out of him.
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And he loves it.
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...aaand then, someone wants to interrupt. Bimet informs us about this and goes to chase them out. Valefor stands with us at the door to see if anyone else is coming. Yes. Naked. With us. In us.
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Fortunately, no one catches us and after the entire session we fall asleep in our knight's arms.
I really would like to do more screenshots, but tumblr is blocked… and there's one more part to come.
Ch5 - LEVIATHAN H-SCENE
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At least you look beautiful and the platform won't block you.
And here's what I love the most. It was sick. I'd love to experience it again.
I would love to make a whole post ONLY about this and just leave the screenshots.
We are in Leviathan's office, and he interrogates us when we feel like we are lacking devil energy. We want to go to Bimet, but do you think our jealous king will allow it? Oh no no no. And of course, his hands land on our chin and then our neck. He doesn't like our hickeys.
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We start asking him valid questions like "why are you jealous of us if you hate us?" So he silences us with a kiss. A deep, suffocating kiss. This is also how Leviathan discovers that we gain their energy through "intercourse with the devil".
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And how can I not fall in love with this idiot.
The conversation that follows gives us some light on his approach to sex and to relationships in general. Which is… sad. It fits him perfectly, but it's sad. And I would also like to analyze this someday, this character is beautiful and how he's written is even more beautiful, especially from writer's point of view. He does not want the admiration of his people or the hatred of angels. The only thing he can believe and consider to be sincere is that someone's dislike. This is something that might actually turn him on.
At first he rules, he asks questions and he hangs us. And he does everything he can to piss us off. He hands us a whip and lowers us down.
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Just disliking him isn't enough, and he works diligently to make us hate him. He insults Minhyeok, us, wishes us dead, and the more he sees our anger, the more he gets excited and talks more. He knows that we are connected to Satan and we will know how to release our anger. On him.
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He finally got what he wanted. We straddle him and, with the help of Satan's strength, begin to strangle him. Neither you nor he are gentle.
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Also, his words (unfortunately, I already have a limit on screenshots). "Do not bite your lips. Bite mine instead." I beg, let me violate him even more.
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Compliment from Leviathan, nice. In the end, we fall asleep cuddled up to him, and he has no intention of giving us up to anyone. As in the case of Sitri, he only opens up to us when we are so unconscious that we do not see his softer side.
꧁:・ ✡ ・:꧂
AND THATS ALL! What a ride it was, I hope I was a good guide. One day I will go into the Hades boys in more depth, but for now, let this be a shortcut for everyone who is still struggling with ch5.
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mediumgayitalian · 1 month
Note
I'm curious as to your thoughts on how Nico and Will manage chores?? you've mentioned that you hc Will as OCD, but I'm interested in how you think that would combine with the different aspects of adhd. plus, I can't imagine Nico had much experience with chores having been rly young in Italy, plus living at the lotus casino, plus being on the run for so long
YES okay so i answered a similar ask here but i'm going to reiterate it and also explain a little bit of my ocd headcanon.
when they move in together, how do you think they will split the chores?
they do not.
they are in an interesting situation: nico has never had to do chores in his life. as a kid, he was the son of Literal Hades and an aristocrat, he for sure had people doing that shit for him. in the lotus, they presumably had room service. he may have had to do a few chores at the military school, but a) they weren't there for long and b) as an older sister with a younger brother, bianca was doing that shit for him. she ordered him to make his bed, he did a horrible job, she huffed and did it herself because it's more of a pain in the ass to make your brother do it again than it is to do it yourself. bianca i get you. after that he was homeless, so there was obviously no cleaning there, and then he lived in his father's palace. he has never so much as done a load of laundry except maybe hastily with a public washroom sink and a bar of soap. he barely knows what a mop is.
will, on the other hand, has been in charge of both a cabin and a literal infirmary since he was 13 years old. on top of that, if i am not mistaken (i'm so sorry i still havent read toa and tsats im getting there i swear), he grew up on a farm. his ass knows how chores work, in fact i would bet money that he gets a little obsessive when it comes to cleaning. he is acutely aware of how many germs are on every single surface ever. he cleans and he does it a lot.
this could go really badly, because habit would indicate that will would be doing all of the housework and nico none, which is Bad For Relationships.
however:
nico really likes will.
will is a massive hypocrite who overworks himself. he also is a bit of a control freak.
nico is also very, very observant.
i think, in the beginning of their friendship, even, nico noticed that will, like bianca, would let the onus of cleaning and tidying fall to him because 'no one else does it right', and also, maybe, it's just easier not to fight people about it. i think this would bother him. i think he would, in his inability to, like, be normal, impulsively challenge will to a cleaning contest.
and. like. will is a competitive person, okay. maybe not about things he knows he can't win, but when he knows he's good at something? he is not letting that shit slide. look at how fast he was to dunk on octavian, how prickly he got when nico doubted his ability to outrun the romans. if nico, who will knows damn well has done like four chores in his life, tries to challenge will, mr. antiseptic is my closest friend solace, to a cleaning contest?
he is going to sweep the floor with him.
pun absolutely intended.
from there things kind of spiral. at first it's a dorky ass learning curve, because nico loses every cleaning competition so so badly and quit fucking laughing, solace, you dickead, the windows are not that streaked and also watch me spray you in the goddamn eyes, huh, how do you like that and it's just kind of...fun. for the first time in a long time cleaning up doesn't make will quietly bitter.
plus, as an added bonus, nico helping will clean up makes it less invisible when he does it. now people are starting to notice that, no, the infirmary does not magically clean and organise itself, someone does that. and maybe a few more people pitch in to help. and maybe will realises, and maybe he smiles gratefully at nico when, for the first time in years, he has two entire days off, back to back, in the summer, for the first time in years. and maybe nico thinks he is going to collapse into dust because gods will has a nice smile. not that he cares or notices or anything.
do they need to keep having competitive chores forever?
no.
but does it make both of them kind of shyly pleased and happy to remember how they started? to remember how much their friendship means to them, first and foremost, and not just their relationship?
yes.
(also, by the gods, nico is going to beat will at laundry one day. he is. as soon as he learns to fold without creasing the whole stupid shirt it's over.)
on ocd:
so i've technically been diagnosed with ocd. i'm not sure how much i believe it, because i have severe anxiety and in 2020 when i was 17 i had anxiety about being ocd so i called my psychiatrist and went 'hey i think i have ocd' and she said 'yah you do', which, well. i've read some testimony and biography of people with ocd and there's a lot of stuff i don't relate to. so i'm not rly comfortable calling myself ocd, but i do have a lot of obsessive behaviours that i am aware extend past generalised anxiety disorder.
but on the stuff i do relate to:
mostly i am Fine. but i am also Aware of the Germs Around Us. at all times. taking a safe food handling course was a Mistake.
however i am also aware that these germs are Unavoidable. and i work with children. i get covered in fluids a Lot. (have you ever held a tissue to a young child's nose and told them to blow, feeling the hot gush of mucus, because they are too young to blow their noses themself? i have. it is revolting. more revolting than being thrown up or shit on, frankly, although those are also Not Great.)
for the most point i employ the Very Clever strategy called: Just Don't Think About It.
i don't think about it.
don't think about the germs on your laptop. don't think about the germs on the seat you're sitting on. don't think about how many germs are built up on your hands and transferring onto your laptop from all the dirty doorhandles you touched to get into the building. don't think about all the airborne germs that you are breathing right now. don't think of how easily staph virus travels. don't think about the germs built up on your phone, dear god. don't think about the germs on your bracelets.
Germs Die. Hands Wash. Germs Die. Hands Wash. Germs Die. Hands Wash.
this is a regular thing i chant to myself.
i have to.
so i don't go Insane.
there are some things i won't do, though, regardless of whether or not germs die and hands wash. i won't wear outside clothes to bed or let them touch my bed. i won't touch door handles with my bare hands if i can avoid it. i won't fill up the gas in my car if i don't have hand sanitizer or lysol wipes handy (gas pumps are DISGUSTING). i won't eat without washing my hands before and after. won't use the bathroom without washing my hands before (we should all do that?? frankly?? why do we allow germs near a place that gets infected real fuckin easy??????). i won't put my toothbrush on the side of the sink (INSIDE A DRAWER WHERE IT'S SEALED OFF). i won't flush the toilet with the lid up (DO YOU WANT THOSE PARTICLES IN THE AIR MORE THAN THEY ARE). i won't use hand dryers in public bathrooms.
lots of stuff i will do too. i will turn the water off and SCRUB my hands for thirty seconds (MISSISSIPPI) before rinsing the soap off. i will wash my hands every couple hours at least but regularly if they feel dirty. i keep a mental note of what is Contaminated and what i have to wash after i touch. i keep a mental record of what i'm touching. i look into ways bacteria and germs spread so i can learn how to keep myself protected. i keep hand sanitizer on my at all times, as well as extra in my car.
etc etc.
i don't always have all this in the forefront of my mind at all times. in fact most of this is habit.
i do spiral though.
sometimes i become Hyperaware of what i'm touching and i feel rly rly unclean. the germs and grime build and build and i get nauseous. usually, this only happens when i think 'i need to wash my hands' and i Cant. i can handle it because i have been handling it my whole life but it makes me really irritable really quickly, and then panicky if it goes on too long.
other times i get really obsessed with preparation. i'll try really hard to Avoid germs, which is impossible, and when i can't i get panicky too.
it is also Really Embarrassing. i get screechy when i'm not expecting to be germy (like at work i'm fine, i know i'm gonna get gross at work, so it's Fine to get gross at work; but if my sister wipes something gross on my shirt to get a reaction out of me she is Going To Get A Reaction Out Of Me, and it is going to be me shrieking at the top of my lungs). so that's fun.
on will:
i do think will would be kinda similar to my experience?? so ocd-adjacent.
he is Hyper aware of germs for one. i imagine he struggles to turn it off. he knows how disgusting something is at any given time because it is really important for him to know if something is sterile.
as he gets older and is abilities get more defined, i think he has a period where he spirals a Lot.
in the infirmary, he knows where the germs are. they are his job to treat or add as necessary. it's no big deal if he has to deal with catheters or sweat or vomit or snot or whatever. that's part of the job.
but Outside of the infirmary???
what really peaked my interest was, amusingly, the shaking hands line: that whole birth thing Bothered him. it was outside the norm, outside of something he could prepare for, and sure, it's just regular horrifying but i feel like it might be Germ horrifying as well.
does he panic about accidentally infecting people?? i think that might make him spiral. he has to do surgery and shit -- if he's hyperaware of what is and isn't sterile, i imagine the situations under which he has to apply medical care would send him spiraling after they're over.
i think he has a lot of anxiety Build Up. i think he shoves it back to Do His Job and then he's supposed to have free time, supposed to chill, and he's rushing away every forty minutes to scrub his hands.
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generalluxun · 6 months
Note
Hey. Asking about how Chloe was abused. My knowldge of abuse is fairly limited to general pop knowledge so I'm curious as to what abuse was done to her.
Okay caveats first:
I am not a medical professional, I am simply someone with a vested interest in the topic who has done more research than the average person.
There are many definitions of abuse. Legal definitions are rarely useful, as they are limited to concrete, provable, gross violations. Just as you can inflict a lot of pain on someone without leaving the marks to prove assault, you can do a lot of damage to a child without it being legally 'provable'. Medical definitions are much more helpful for discussions.
Lastly some level of extrapolation is required as it is a show. We take what we are shown. For example:We actually only have Felix's word that he was ever abused, and his first character traits sre being deceitful and manipulative. We still take his word though, because it's a show. (And also we should give weight to victim accounts!)
So both parents are guilty in different ways. We will start with Audrey, the simpler one. There's clear verbal and emotional abuse demonstrated on screen. Mis-naming your child is a form of abuse:please ask the trans community about the impact of deadnaming even in full grown adults.
Beyond that she is constantly dismissive and belittling of her child- to the exclusion of all else. Style Queen/Queen Wasp is rife with examples. There is also the clear behavior shift in Chloé. The wheeling, approval seeking, hunched posture expecting rejection. This is a *pattern* not a one off. Audrey may live in NY, but no fashion movil would be away from Paris for 13yrs straight. We are simply seeing the most recent interaction. This culminates im a child having to ask 'Why don't you love me mother?' and the response is telling
Audrey barely chokes out the strange word when trying to contradict the question. It takes Marinette literally making them both mad at her to get a bare minimum of interaction on Audrey's part. It doesn't last though. Audrey falls back into her negation behaviors and is now present to inflict them more regularly on Chloé, while also being a constant target for/model of behavior for Chloé. (Seriously it was such a misstep to write Marinette reuniting a victim with an abuser) We know the show itself considers Audrey'ss care as a bad thing because the original script had André divorcing her and takin Zoé because Zoé 'doesn't deserve you' so Chloé being in an abusive parenting situation in Representation is supposed to be 'punishment'(ewww)
André is not off the hook either. People look at him 'spoiling' her and leave it at that. Well, 'spoiling' can in fact be abusive too. Let's look at what we see:
André has been her primary caregiver for 14 years now, so he has had the most responsibility in molding what we see for good or bad(mostly bad). She does learn from him too. Darkblade she proudly announces she learned everything about winning elections from watching her father. He's also excessively arrogant (I'm the symbol of Paris!) and quite willing to abuse his power for his own ends(having Roger round up protestors etc) which explains where Chloé learned where power is to be abused.
André is also extremely neglectful as a parent, extreeeeemely. Let's hit a bunch of points in the order they come to me.
Chloé lives *alone* in a hotel suite. There's no shared space, no family area. It's not even really her room. It's commercial, sterile. Where sre her hobbies? Posters? Even her *colors*? She is so used to being ignored at home that the girl who is loud as heck everywhere else doesn't make a single mark on her living space.
A hotel employee seems to think he needs to step in to raise Chloé. Let that sink in. An employee can see how bad it is and tried to make some kind of change, (he's working against a lifetime of ingrained behavior and is not very good at it himself). He doesn't even think to you know... Get Andre in to do this.
André was unaware or didn't care his daughter hasn't done schoolwork since Sabrina *learned to write*(5/6 yrs old) that is a shocking level of disinterest in your child. 6yr olds aren't criminal masterminds.
Andre supplants actual attention and affection with *stuff* he gives material possessions in *place* of parenting. This is somewhat similar to spoiling but not the same. André's method denies the child something vital. You see- things aren't a substitute for affection/attention, developmentally. And so while they may delight they never satisfy the need. They never validate the emotional attachment. So after the shine wears off, the hole is still there. So, like someone with an addiction, the child needs more, and more, and more. Since the needs are never met, it is never enough. And this is what the child views as *normal* this is simply *how it is*. They rarely know they are being given inadequate care because it's just life to them. Seeing something different in a one off doesn't make a dent vs a whole life.
This sort of thing makes a potent cocktail when mixed with the abandonment issues from her mother too. See- if her mother left, and daddy doesn't pay attention, anyone can leave. This leads to a cycle of pushing/demanding/hurting. The child expects to be left and let down, so they both try to reassure themselves it won't happen, and *make* it happen on their own terms (because they believe deep down it will) so more outrageous demands, because when those demands are met, it shows that you are still 'loved' and when they are not met, then there you go, you are not loved and they will leave you. It's a self-destructive spiral.
You see it play out with her interactions with her classmates and Sabrina specifically. How does she express affection? Gifts. What does she do? Push. Push and push and find the breaking point because if she can make Sabrina actually leave then it shows that she herself is worthless and her mother was right to leave her and her father is right to ignore her. Pretty messed up right? Yeah. Child abuse does horrible things to kids.
We're not done with André yet. Some people might say 'he expresses love for Chloé!' and to that I say- performatively.
André likes the idea of being a father. It's what respectable people do. It looks good on camera. It's someone to love him unconditionally. It's an ally against his wife.(broken home dynamics are horrible too) André just doesn't like having to parent for more than a snapshot.
We can see his interactions with Zoé highlight this too. He's delighted she's here!(a potential person on his side vs his wife and daughter) what's his first parenting advice? 'lock your dreams away and get on with life' A+ André.
What's he do in Queen Banana? He uses his power to let Chloé manipulate the movie *kicking Zoé out of it* This is the guy who is supposed to be supporting her? He only draws the line when it comes to sending Zoé away... Why? He doesn't want to lose an 'ally'. It's power dynamics. Not parenting. Where was he when Zoé was stuck in boarding school? He was going to keep Zoé in the divorce so clearly Mr Lee isn't in the picture, Audrey probably forgot Zoé existed, why didn't André bring Zoé to France and let the sisters grow up together? Oh, right, that might be work.
André likes Zoé because she comes pre-raised(boarding school was probably better than either parent) he doesn't have to put in work and he gets a free good kid to make him look like a father. She's his 'do over' as he throws the one he raised in the trash.
André shows his true colors when he's lamenting to Gabe about his corruption and abuse and blames ot on his 'heartless daughter' you know... The child he raised. The grown man is actually shoving his own corruption and misdeeds onto his child. You really don't need much more than that.
So, via neglect, verbal abuse, and emotional abuse the Bourgeois parents raised an incredibly messed up child. Chloé is not a 'good victim' like Adrien, she doesn't sulk quietly under abuse. She lashes out. She is hurt and angry and she passes the pain on. This is why they call it the cycle of abuse.
The end of Revolution illustrates this perfectly. Audrey throws verbal abuse at her on the plane. Angry that Chloé embarrassed her(not that she did wrong, Audrey loved the power grab) and calls her a loser by implication. You *see* it hit, the physical cringe. Then Chloé immedietely goes to try and pass on the pain. She is hurt and making someone else hurt is the only way to lessen it. She calls Marinette. Marinette breaks the cycle though, and good for her. But the show seems to have forgotten there's still one hurt child in this scene, and it doesn't seem to care.
I'm going to stop here for now. I probably left a bunch out, but I do have other things I need to do. Feel free to ask more questions. Thanks for taking the time to seek answers.
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